#may delete this mess later idk

[laugtherhyena]

Man this last class i had today really made me think about how devalued brazilian culture is by it's own people, like here at college whenever i talk to my classmates about things they like or what they've been watching is always some western show or asian series, i haven't seen a single person around my age list some Brazilian telenovela/soap opera as something they actively watch or enjoy and that's just really sad to me because i think those are a staple of our culture and nowadays it really feels like it's something only the older generation cares about because it's so hard to find younger people who watch these.

I feel embarrassed saying i watch telenovelas every day to people because they just look at me like "woah, you watch those things?", is it that weird to watch something produced in the country you live in and by the people of our culture instead of something from the other side of the world?? And i shouldn't feel embarrassed to talk about how i love those shows but i just do because this stuff makes me feel like I'm detached from my own age group.

And I'm not saying it's wrong to enjoy things from other nations/cultures, if i did i would be a fucking hypocrite cuz a lot of the things i enjoy come from outside too, it's just that it really saddens me to see how many people here just don't care about the things produced in our own country or see them as lesser than outside ones because of the whole “The grass is greener on the other side” thing a majority of our population has.

[deus-ex-mona]

just a v e r y rough tl of lxl honeymoon 2: collab boogaloo

be sure to check out the anime (which hails from the ultimate box of the album) if you're able to!!! and support the official release!!!

all screenshots in here are from the trailer btw

Aizo: Hi Julieta! I’m Aizo!

Yujiro: Hello Julieta, I’m Yujiro.

Aizo: Today, the two of us, LIPxLIP, are on a trip.

Yujiro: We’ve come to Izumo as a reward for completing our album.

Aizo: We’ll be sharing a little glimpse of today’s trip with you guys, so enjoy!

Yujiro: We’ve been here since yesterday, but let’s start off with our wake up call!

Aizo: You’re showing them that?!

Yujiro: Good morning, everyone. It’s 6am. It’s still too early to have breakfast, but I’m going to show you Aizo’s sleeping face.

Yujiro: He sure is asleep, hm?

Yujiro: He’s drooling.

Yujiro: Aizo, you’ll be late. You’ll be late, you know?

Aizo: Eh? What?

Yujiro: It’s already 9 o’clock, hurry! Get up!

Aizo: Ah? It’s 9?

Yujiro: You’ll be late for work!

Aizo: Why’re you filming me?! You’re lying for sure! Stop it!

Yujiro: [laughs] And that, Julieta, was Aizo’s sleeping face!

Aizo: And here we are at the breakfast table. We’re about to have our breakfast.

Yujiro: Aizo has woken up too.

Aizo: Wow, Yujiro, you’re having Japanese food as expected, huh? Ooh, isn’t that Izumo Soba?

Yujiro: And you, Aizo, are having Western food as expected… Wait, what the heck? You’re having pasta first thing in the morning?

Aizo: I just felt like having it today. Even you feel like having Western food in the morning sometimes, don’t you?

Yujiro: I guess so. I wouldn’t eat pasta in the morning, though.

Aizo: I’m sure the Julieta watching this will be like “I just knew Yujiro’d be eating Japanese food and Aizo’d be having Western food”, huh?

Yujiro: Maybe they will. We do give off those impressions, don’t we? Just like how we’d have either coffee or cocoa respectively.

Aizo: I got it. Wanna change the impressions we give off by trading our breakfast meals?

Yujiro: I don’t wanna. I want to eat my soba.

Aizo: Yeah, yeah.

Yujiro: Julieta, which do you prefer? Western food? Japanese food? Tell us, okay?

Aizo: Yum!

Aizo: We don’t usually shoot vids all by ourselves, huh?

Yujiro: Though you say “usually”, this is the first time we’ve done it, right? The staff always tag along with us.

Aizo: They plan all kinds of programmes for us too, right? Yeah. So, where do we go now?

Yujiro: Ehh, I don’t know. You decide, Aizo.

Aizo: Me? You decide, Yujiro. I dunno where to go either.

Yujiro: You decide, Aizo.

Aizo: Eh?! You’re kidding! Hmm… I can’t think of anything.

Yujiro: Planning ahead sure is important, isn’t it?

Aizo: Yeah. Let’s just walk around for now.

Yujiro: And so, we’re now at the footbaths!

Aizo: Phew, it’s hot in here!

Yujiro: We came here too last time, didn’t we?

Aizo: Yeah, back during our live tour, right?

Yujiro: Oh right, Aizo, how do you feel about the release of our second album?

Aizo: Of course I’m happy ‘bout it. I mean, releasing even just one album’s already pretty amazing.

Yujiro: Yup. The fact that we’re able to release a second album is all thanks to our Julieta, right?

Aizo: Yeah. We’ve gotta try even harder to meet their expectations, huh? How do you feel about the album, Yujiro?

Yujiro: I guess I feel differently about it than I did about our first album.

Aizo: Eh? How so?

Yujiro: I feel as though I wouldn’t have been able to do it alone. It’s all thanks to the support and expectations of our Julieta that we’re able to stand on stage. And, as that stage grows bigger and bigger, I get the feeling that I wouldn’t have been able to respond to the size of the stage all by myself.

Aizo: Yeah, I feel the same way. I’ve had thoughts like “Why are there 2 guys in LIPxLIP? I could do it by myself.” before. But this has made me realise once again that going at it alone would just mean halving our power.

Yujiro: We’re able to develop better together as a pair than we would have on our own. I'd say that we’re indispensable to each other for sure.

Aizo: Yeah, we are. Plus, things would sure get boring without a rival around, huh?

Yujiro: Yup. Aizo, the friendly rivalry between you and me… Wait a sec! This is going to be a bonus video! Isn’t this conversation getting embarrassing?!

Aizo: Yeah, it is. But isn’t it fine for us to talk about our true feelings when the two of us are on a trip together?

Yujiro: I guess so. We’re alone on this trip together, after all.

Aizo: Yeah. Aight then, let’s end this off with a word of thanks to our Julieta.

Yujiro: Thank you for getting our second album, Julieta.

Aizo: Thanks, Julieta.

Yujiro: This album is packed with our thoughts and feelings. It'll make us happy if you listen to it many times over.

Aizo: You’ll listen to it, won’t ya? We’re going to keep growing from here on out, so follow our progress, yeah?

Yujiro: Follow us, okay?

Aizo: Till we meet again, Julieta!

Yujiro: Bye bye Julieta. See you around.

Aizo: See ya!

[skrunkly-scrimblo-blimblo]

[daz4i]

there's smth to study about how qliphoth's name comes from hebrew and is a term in kabbalah, and how it represents anything that isn't holy, and how the aeon themselves may be like the noga shell specifically - the one representing "anything that's not holy but also isn't a sin" (so basically, neutral actions) - while the ipc is more like the three shells of impurity - the ones representing. well. sin and impurity. especially with jade symbolically being the devil who is indeed a part of the qlipoth (as samael). from what i know abt genshin it sounds like hoyo doesn't shy away from kabbalah so it's more than plausible to look for a connection there imo

[theclosetedskeleton]

UGRHJQHJI stress and this feeling of guilt and sorrow is eating me alive tonight i am NOT in a good mood right now omw to start EATING GRASS

[justaduckarts]

May I request sh au fluff with Eclipse or really, anyone else? in exchange I offer my soul. (Nah but fr idk if you're doing these requests things and if you don't just delete this ask)

Hello!

I get a lot of fluff requests. I'm gonna combine these two, forgive me ^^' My requests ARE open, they're just slow <3

That being said, one flustered Eclipse coming up!

The changes were small enough at first that Eclipse was able to keep his cool. You were growing into your own. Awkwardness making way for confidence.

And confidence was a good look on you. You were still quiet and polite, but hearing you say 'no' and introduce yourself with pride always brought a smile to his face.

But with your confidence came unexpected changes.

As he was walking beside you one day, you slipped your hand into his without a word. He was stunned. Some months ago, you would have been a stuttering mess when he took your hand.

Amber eyes dared a glance down at you.

Oh.

Oh dear.

The way you smiled to yourself. The soft flush of your face as your thumb traced absent circles into his skin. His rays grew ever brighter.

Even with your newfound confidence, you were utterly darling.

And for the first time in some time, Eclipse felt himself stumbling to keep himself cool.

Casual hand holding steadily evolved.

If the two of you were sitting together, you'd snuggle into his side to peek at what he was working on.

Sometimes you'd bravely kiss the back of his hand, rendering him speechless for a few seconds.

But the moment Eclipse realized he was really in trouble was a few weeks later.

The two of you were in his office. He was seated at his desk, working on some forms in regards to city infrastructure.

Across the room, you were seated on the lounger by the fire. Your boots kicked off, legs curled up on the plush couch comfortably. There was a sewing project in your hands, your second attempt at making a tunic all by yourself. Eclipse was elated to see you practicing your hobbies with such freedom these days.

His focus returned to his work, a small smile on his face.

This was nice.

Just having you here. Knowing you chose to be here. It made him feel warm, all the way down to his bones.

Glancing up from your sewing, you took in the sight of Eclipse at his desk.

Butterflies dance in your stomach.

The soft glow of his rays illuminated the smile on his face. He seemed absorbed in his work, but not in the way he had before. He seemed... happy. And you were happy to see him so at peace. Eclipse had changed your life so dramatically. You couldn't imagine living without him anymore.

Fire crackled softly in its place.

In the quiet of the evening, looking at Eclipse, you finally said something that had been on your mind for some time.

"I love you." The words came out on a sigh, a wistful smile on your face.

It was so fast. So natural and confident.

Everything in Eclipse's office stopped. Quills dropped. Books closed. The fire picked up, burning hotter and brighter than ever.

Eclipse's rays lit up the entire office, as if it were the middle of the day.

"I- Forgive me- I- Could you repeat that?" He nearly choked trying to spit out his thoughts.

"I love you," you smiled up at him.

Given the sheer size of Eclipse, you'd never imagined him moving very fast. He was always slow and steady around you, aware of your presence and attempting to do his best not to frighten you.

But all of that was forgotten briefly.

In the time it took you to blink, Eclipse had abandoned his desk to stand before you. He plucked you from couch, as gentle as he'd ever been.

"I..." He was cradling you with three of his arms. His fourth hand came up to cup your face.

"Truly?" The look on his face made you ache. It was like he was afraid to hope. You nodded.

"Of course I do." Tenderly, you cupped his face. He was almost too warm to touch comfortably. "I love you, Eclipse."

He took a breath, trying to pull himself together.

"And I love you," he said quietly. "More than the oceans love the moon, more than the mother loves her stars. I love you." He couldn't believe you'd beaten him to confessing.

You leaned in and pecked his cheek.

"Thank you."

Eclipse practically melted. He sank onto the couch, still cradling you. You couldn't help but laugh.

"My love," he sighed, running his fingers tenderly across your cheek. "How can you be so darling?"

"The world may never know," you smiled. He pulled you closer. You could hear a soft rumble run through him; something akin to a purr. He ran his hand up and down your back.

"I may never put you down," he joked.

"You'll have to eventually. Julian will poison you if you fall behind on your work," you warned jokingly.

"Julian," Eclipse sighed. "He's going to work me right into an early grave."

"You hired him." You laughed, resting your head on his shoulder.

"Yes, which makes the fact that he bosses me around that much more ridiculous." Eclipse chuckled. He kissed the top of your head.

"I love you," he mumbled.

"I love you," you nodded, relishing in being in the arms of your dear partner.

He couldn't have been more happy. To have you there, to know you were happy.

Eclipse, for the first time in so long, was beginning to look forward to tomorrow.

[dtmsrpfcringe]

Hi, so I was aware of the account around the same time that I think you were told about it in your anons - they started following me. I didn't think much of it when I looked at it (I tend to check followers for bots etc), other than 'christhs1' potentially being his middle name, and it kind of having the same structure to his old account, 'mchshe1'. But for a time, I just dismissed it.

Anyway, the account then updated, and added the dog/meme pfp, the pronouns, and then the name. The name especially threw me for a loop, a) because it's Sheen's middle name, and b) Thomas is his mother's maiden name. Then when they rb'd your anon, and I thought 'okay, this could potentially be him, that'd be fair enough because that anon seems the most likely (and level-headed) explanation to the whole Michael/David thing, rather than "secret relationship being kept hidden by PR" shtick'. This is the point where I wanted to keep an eye on the account, because if it /was/ him, lol that's brilliant. I followed, thinking that if the guy just wants to lurk, good for him.

So then the pfp changed to one of him in a pub, and I couldn't find it or trace it back to /anywhere/. Which doesn't necessarily mean much, but if someone was impersonating him, I thought, it seems weird that they'd use a 'rare' pic, when there are others on his Twitter etc that they could have used instead. Why would they go to the effort of deep-diving for a specific image, and tbh - /how/ did they managed to find it? Again, I therefore thought that it could potentially could be him, using a picture only he would have.

I then noticed that they had been commenting on igv's posts, but even then it seemed plausible, if a bit bold, that it was him. Then the @ngo callout post, which was even bolder. Then they posted a meme/image post yesterday, having deleted the @ngo post, and /then/ they deleted that one (the 'x' they put on the end of it was interesting, though!), and posted this new callout one directed at @igv.

In between all this, they've changed the pub pfp back to the dog one a few days later, and then a few days after that (a couple of days ago, I think?) changed it to an image of his eye.

The @igv one is the post (that, and the new pfp) that has swayed me to thinking that it isn't him. It /could/ be that he's now read through all the posts they've made, especially the ones where they're ripping the shit out of Georgia and Anna - and ultimately fabricating a whole story, contrived from the very limited things that have been posted by media and on social media - and he's lost his temper about it. Plus, the spelling of 'socialise' and 'behaviour' support it - British spellings. Even 'fantasying' (sic) could be that he wrote 'fantasy' first, changed around the wording of his post, added on 'ing', and didn't quite proof-read properly.

But the issue for me is how the post describes the rumours of him being queer. The language comes across as .. well, to be honest, a bit derogatory; describing the /possibility/ of him being queer as disgusting and vile and nasty lies. Speculating about his sexuality is a horrible thing to do, no question about it; it's his business and his alone (whether he's straight, bi, pan or anything else) and he may not want to come out if he /is/ queer, or! Actually may not feel that it's necessary/that he needs to - that previous Tweets/interviews he's done speak for themselves.

But the way "a queer", and "SUCK DICK????" is also worded seems... Idk. Whilst obviously you can never know someone - especially a celebrity - from their interactions on social media, it just appears so far removed from how he's spoken in the past on social media, even when he's been pissed off at people.

So, despite all the other things that made me think 'Ha, would be cool if it were him! Also - mortifying!', that one post has put me in two minds; either a) it's not him, and just someone messing about impersonating him (at which point... Ok), or b) there's the very slim chance that it /is/ him, and he's understandably lost his rag... but at which point the wording of it is rather poor, in my opinion, even if that's not at all how he intended it to come across.

For my money, right now, it's the first explanation - that it's/not/ him, and was doing a good job of impersonation (being a bit mysterious, rare picture, using a pseudonym, using 'x' etc), but if they want to drop a selfie in my inbox or something lol, I'm more than happy to change my tune.

this!!!! This is what I was saying

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

Hiiiii, here's some thoughts and things I've been pondering on over the last couple weeks (also might delete later idk lol, take this with a grain of salt because I'm a little tipsy, emotional from pms (and maybe a little bit of heartbreak), and also maybe sorta sleep deprived. okay thanks!) Also pro tip- don't watch sappy teen rom-coms when you're already a sensitive emotional mess!!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships, in all forms, casual, romantic, family, friendships, deep relationships and surface level relationships, coworkers, acquaintances, community, blah blah blah you get the idea. Basic human connection baby. I've never really been the type of person to be casual or surface level about anything in my life, especially relationships. I sink into connection, always wanting to know more about people, looking for the deeper connection, never really satisfied with a tip of the iceberg, never really knowing anything about each other kind of connection(I blame it on my pisces moon and cancer venus lol). And at the same time, knowing the cost of that, knowing that I could know someone so deeply and the next second they could be done with all of it, has me running the other direction more often than not. And yes I know, people will not always be in your life forever, basic human condition and all that. But taking into account freedom of choice and miscommunications and attachment styles and people's own individual baggage and blah blah blah, everything that people bring into a relationship, be it platonic or romantic, influences how long that relationship will last. At least in my opinion it does. (and just to assure, I have since learned the art of managing my expectations when it comes to deeper connections and much lighter ones, even with my love and want for deep connections.) And it is inevitable that people will leave, for whatever reason, but that logic doesn't erase the hurt from that person not being there anymore. A lot of this train of thought came from both a recent disagreement with a friend that essentially ended said friendship, and me thinking that I could subject myself to casual dating relationships as a way to re-enter the dating world. In both of these situations, I found myself feeling small, unseen and unknown, and like something that could be easily discarded without a second thought. On the friendship side of it, there was so much connection and learning about each other that in the end, didn't matter and I ended up giving too much of myself to someone who wasn't able to reciprocate. And in the realm of dating and casual relationships, I thought I could re-enter that world, go on fun dates, be casual and learn what I like and dislike in all of it, learn to not jump into things so quickly, just have fun dating for once rather than having heart palpitating anxiety about it. Lol, nope, what dumb bitch thought that was a good idea??? It was fun for a half a second and then just made me feel frustrated and used(both emotionally and physically, hello orgasm gap) and honestly kind of exhausted at the whole of dating(but I'm trying to not give up for whatever reason) (also turns out men still think it's a great idea to send unsolicited dick pics in fucking 2024. Please, for the love of god, don't.) And sitting in all of this, having these experiences, feeling grief over all of it, is the thought that I am simply not made for superficial relationships. Sure there are people I may have a more casual connection with, but the feeling of being unknown to someone, of resigning myself to be the thing they want in order to have connection, feeling like someone isn't even the tiniest bit curious about me, is not something I was made for and no matter how much I try to fit myself into this idea of relationships that is so persistent now, I'm inevitably dissatisfied with it and feel worse than if I had just kept to myself. Connection and community is at the core of what it is to be human and we've gotten so backwards with that. If you read any or all of this, I'm telepathically giving you forehead kisses. Suffice it to say, I am a committed, loyal, curious, big feelings, social, connection oriented girlie and the way that relationships have become so superficial is so fucking soul draining.

[wackymaci]

I guess I’m using this as a casual oc posting blog now too?? cause this is from priv twt and I don’t necessarily wanna put it on the big blog since it’s an unorganized mess lmao

but so long as I’m posting convo snippets and related moments. allow me to transfer over a thread i’d made re:,, Eisa and Einmyria, Tory’s oopsie twins with Loki — if you don’t know from my twt (dm me for circumstances if you’re really curious and nosy lmfao) the elysiumverse IS undergoing some minor restructuring over the past few months & still now for.,,,, reasons. some of which involves some retconning to completely delete some obscure characters from the common consciousness & massively overhauling others -

THATS not super important but you’ll see why that’s sort of relevant, anyway for preservation purposes I am going to!! copy and paste a specific twitter thread as bullet points and it’s attached OOOO CANON CLIPS underneath the cut bc :-)))))) this is all about Loki obviously mwah

fuckin hello if I write lokikid Tobias out of existence that means the first of Loki’s children that HE didn’t carry HIMSELF like — EVER beforehand - were Eisa&Einmyria with Tory? he was a basketcase at the time for other reasons (accident babies, Maci was not happy,🤪) but if I retcon now it’s so much worse🤩

due to the series of tragic events befalling his first six children Loki has ALWAYS been highly anxious and cagey every time he’s been pregnant anyway and havin to trust someone else now w them was. oh god let me go back in time I feel like I didn’t give that enough wEIGHT AAHHHH

saying this wholeheartedly with the knowledge that even with or without *deliberately* devoting the proper amount of gravity to this Loki canonically was still so stressed out at the time he literally triggered the beginning of Ragnarok but, like, lmao meh,, EDIT to add that whole series of events with Thanatos happened DURING Tory’s pregnancy w them so that’s like. Loki: no i’m not psychologically affected from how that all went down at all :-) -*THE END OF THE WORLD ACCIDENTALLY BEGINS*

haha did I ever discuss how Eisa and Einmyria were conceived. well:

and of course; the follow up part 8 (Bel and Ty were like,, idk age 6?)—

kicky feet lmao reading this whooooole chain of events is so wild, just some of the most utterly delightfully vicious behavior cycling between Maci and Loki and Tory this was SO much scream fighting on and on, would get resolved and then exploded again, just SO unhinged—

so reading this now 10 years later where - Maci & Loki & Tory do successfully co-parent Eisa and Einmyria with zero issues lmao and. where lately Loki’s made a complete 180 re: Maci and Tory in.,,, an insanely nsfw domesticated way is so. wow the difference a decade makes,, SCREAM

at this point in this twitter thread, a brief several day interlude takes place during which the l0ki show finale premieres and pisses me off enough for me to return to this thread in a slightly different direction lmfao??? the following;

BACK 2 ELYSIUM. Ty & Bel when they were kiddos were obsessed with Loki - god whose every word out of his mouth is a lie VS mindreading “children” who could literally see all of his actual thoughts & deep insecurities, especially when Drama Occurred & Loki refused to fuckin talk to anyone—

when goin thru that Eisa Einmyria plot collection I found yet another huge scene tht Loki’d caused with Tory & Maci (dont forget this timeframe was SOOO VICIOUS) & found afterwards Bel finding him & talking to him with, quote—

“They can't understand that you wreck things when you're nervous”

ssso um, elysiumLoki thesis statement, oh hh,hhhHHHHH— 🥺🥺🥺

Yknow what I went back and retrieved that exact section again an d it’s. so. I think Bel was like age 6 here lmfao:

collapses. just think this thread was recorded BEFORE I plunged myself into the 2012 section of the archives during Loki’s first entrance into Elysium so. honestly all these convo snippets I may or may not post MAY or MAY NOT be E!L related AAAHHHHHH— anyway. thoughts..,,,, thots…….,,

[bugdogg]

Post where I talk about my thoughts on what I want relationship wise cause no ones around to listen rn, I’ll probably delete this post later cause I’m a coward, warning for complaining, I complain a lot. Also uhh I like this picture I took, these flowers are very pretty, love seeing them

I hate feeling desperate, I hate having little needs that can only be fulfilled with another person, it sucks. I went through a whole thing of being someone’s caretaker, trying so hard to make them happy and thinking I could fix them despite being so messed up myself. I know how it feels to be so relied on, I don’t like being in a relationship because of it, I don’t want to feel needed but at the same time it feels nice (using a lighter word for it)

Ik neither is bad, independence and codependenc , if its balanced between the two, but I think the thing I get caught on a lot is that you don’t need one specific person, there are so many people out there why just stick with one for your entire life. It works for a lot of people and I’m happy it does but idk why it feels like it won’t work for me. I think of it like friends, I love my friends, I like being close with them and like helping them and feeling wanted as a friend. But I’m not gonna have just one friend, one person isn’t gonna meet my needs, at least that’s what it seems like.

I considered polyamory but the issue is I don’t wanna feel like I’m tied to anyone, I don’t wanna have to run my life by anyone, I wanna freely be close with multiple people and it wouldn’t bother them if I worked like that. And Ik there’s people who just hook up and all that, buddies who you may be intimate with once in a while but I don’t know how to go about it and the only real way to experience it and experiment.

“We’ll if you wanna have that then go find people who-“ I know that, Ik I should just go looking but it’s scary as hell. I’m young, inexperienced with wading through the safe and dangerous people, I have a hard time finding people like me in the first place, and I’m easily overstimulated by everything so going out to meet people is a little hard.

“Well why don’t you just use an app to hook up or something?” … idk 😐 (I’ve run out of steam lol, I keep calling myself pathetic for my wants but Ik having them doesn’t make u pathetic. I’m just hard on myself ig…)

Anywayyyy, i think I should sleep…. Cause I’m supposed to wake up in 6 hours to go paddle boarding.

Don’t fuck up ur sleep schedule like me, beee betttterrrr

[sl33py-g4m3r]

Less of an angry rant than this mornings very salty post I deleted ~~ hopefully not a rant at all cause I feel I do that too much anyway ~~

I kinda don’t like the way the new slots work in ttyd.

I kinda knew the timing for the older ones and it was just kinda ‘mash A to get all 7s occasionally’

Now after winning some and being able to kinda predict what was where; I tried again last night before bed and lost all of my piantas that I had won previously.

Idk how or what kind of beginner luck would allow me to sink however many cons 10 piantas is worth and win 4x, then horribly mess up the timing later and then lose all of my money.

Less angry rant than the one I deleted last night but am still kinda salty about it.

Also getting to see the Don in the first place. I think I forgot you could look up stuff for free online, bought the correct items in the wrong order, was unsure, then paid Ishmael 64 coins, which I had to sell useful items for cause I’d wasted my money on charleton’s hammer man badge…

I was so irrationally mad about this last night I posted an angry rant about it and then deleted it this morning… or like 2 pm when I got up.

(Gotta fix that before it gets any more messed up, lol)

So yeah. To see the Don; dried shroom, dizzy dial in that order, and yellow as the answer to the shop attendant’s question.

Also I’m still salty they are still cat girls and not bunny girls anymore like the og Japanese version. The kid’s wouldn’t get the reference so what’s the problem??

But I shouldn’t let these minor gripes make the game not fun for myself ~~ emotions are dumb. Especially tired ones.

Game is still very fun and I’m still running unsimplifier, lol. Despite not using the star points much.

Badge load out is; unsimplifier, hp plus, hammer man (cause I wasted the money on it may as well use it), and idk what all. Might update with complete badges I have equipped. Might not.

So ye that happened.

I need to take my own advice tbh and not let small little slip ups like that totally ruin my enjoyment of a game I’ve been excited for since it’s reveal date.

[everywhereallofthetime]

I don’t know/remember off-hand how many followers I (may still) have here, - I didn’t bother/think to look before I began composing this post, - and idk if anyone has truly cared/missed me, - I never really had many notes on any given chapter, - but I’m, unfortunately, breaking my promise. 💔 I am so incredibly sorry; at this time I don’t believe I will ever finish “Some Girl”. In fact, I will be deleting it from this blog. Well, turning every chapter to private, which is nearly the same thing. I honestly don’t know if “private-ing” things blocks them from my already followers sight or what.

Under the circumstances, ofc, you can absolutely unfollow me if you choose to, but please allow me to first tell you where my head is/has been...

You see, I had a friend who was my beta reader and someone I could bounce my thoughts off of for SG, and then we had a messy, terrible falling out. Her fingers are all over little bits of this story, mainly in the later chapters, and honestly, it pretty much spoiled things for me. 😔 I still go back and read it occasionally and believe it was/is very good writing up to where it went on hiatus, but I started feeling different about how it seemed to be progressing. I was being influenced to write Shawn differently than I had been and it was messing with me, throwing everything off. I never should have allowed that. And after the friendship ended and the dust settled, I thought maybe I could get my head back on straight and continue, return it to what I had always envisioned it to be, but I think it was just… too late.

Idek if any of the previous paragraph makes a drop of sense, but that’s the best way I know how to describe things.

I even thought maybe I could do a partial rewrite, adjust some things, even in early chapters, but just the thought of such an undertaking is overwhelming. I’m not saying it won’t eventually happen, but I know better now than to make any promises.

Aside from that, I hit such a horrible wall with my writing, period. If you follow me over at my main Shawn blog and have read any of the stories on my master list, you may know that I haven’t posted a new story for a long, long time.

I was negatively affected by Shawn canceling tour, even though I understand/understood and accept(ed) that was what he needed to do, but it put me in a poor mindset for quite a while. I was supposed to be seeing him the very next night after the initial postponement announcement, as well as three other shows, including a M&G. It was a devastating blow. It took me a while to pull myself out of my upset/depression. That’s when the block started to develop. I know my happiness should not be dependent on Shawn, and it’s not, not really, but I had been looking forward to an amazing summer, for months, and suddenly there was no longer anything to be excited for.

There’s a lot more I could go into here, but I try to never burden anyone with my problems/issues. (Even though I probably should let people help me once in a while. It’s easy for me to be the person people come to when shit is rough, but difficult for me to go “crying” to others when shit is rough.)

I’ve been trying very hard to reclaim my writing mojo, because I do still absolutely adore and love Shawn, and I love writing him, and truly, I always seem to be jotting things down, even while I was so severely blocked. Maybe those little notes/ideas will eventually develop into something. Who knows?

I am feeling more stirrings than I have in a while, so silver lining? Maybe it’s because Shawn himself seems to be in such a better place and he has returned to being more active and interactive, and we know new music is coming “soon”, and that’s been so uplifting and encouraging. When he’s happy, I’m happy, you know?

(I’m sure many of the writers that write Shawn will be popping up again in the next few months.)

I still have a number of requests sitting in my ask box. Goodness knows if any of the requesters even remember requesting from me; it’s been so long. I’m slowly, tentatively trying to get back to those.

Okay, my lovies. If you read through this entire post, thank you. I appreciate you. ❤️ I hope you can forgive me.

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Honestly if that REDACTED had some sort of worldly au equivalent of his Clara who was killed probably idk deleted or exterminated by people messing with things they shouldn't and if him and Monochrome are in some way linked more so than just REDACTED snatching his appearance (I'm thinking one of Monochromes parents may have been involved with monitoring the digital world source code stuff and was involved with probably creating REDACTED and Clara before ya know removing her and probably attempting to remove REDACTED but he hid elsewhere technically making him and Monochrome in a weird way brother's) then him later taking May and corrupting her just gets extra petty like your dad took my girlfriend and now I'm taking yours since well I look like you and Im better than you. Really said I'm taking my brothers girlfriend to murder her later

HE WENT YOUR DAD MADE ME BITCHLESS SO I'M MAKING YOU BITCHLESS LMAO.

[pepprs]

ykw that was exactly the thing i was vaguing about earlier this morning btw (sorry). since saturday night the whole topic of [pausing here to transform into a hideous beast because of the word my phone was trying to suggest i put after ‘topic of.’ like could this get any more meta and/or disturbing] anyways the whole topic of.. me and how i am or am not situated like.. r*mantically. it’s been multiple times every day since saturday night that it’s come up in posts i see in irl convos in photo memory reminders in shows my family is watching etc. ajd im not like mad at anyone/thing for posting / talking about it it’s just i feel like exploding a little bit between me myself and i that’s all

[maladaptivedaydreamsx]

help.... my mc/theo/arthur poly brainrot is showing up again in full force... aaaaaaaa

[bucephaly]

Interprets link botw in such a way that i can use him for messing with shit for my fuckin morrowind oc