#may or may not be projecting somewhat but hey that’s what fiction is for sometimes

[kaxtwenty]

I think the thing I like the most about Mandalorians is how much it sucks to be one.

Like, the older I get the more I understand Satine. A society that revolves around fighting and conquest as much Mandalorian society tends to probably sucks to live in.

Pretty much every major Mando character has this moment where they’re just like, “Why are we like this?” And it feels real in a way that few bits of SW lore ever come close to.

To gloss over it a bit. Nearly every planet they’ve inhabited has been glassed 1-12 times. The foundling system, while cool, has its roots in slavery and forced assimilation (which can still be seen in some cases). Pretty much every major clan or house are the descendants of people who were forced to assimilate to Mandalorian society (not even that far back in Clan Wren’s case). They fought so much that the original Mandalorian race, the Taung, went extinct.

And to top it all off the literal inception of their entire culture was when they saw a planet full of Kaiju and one guy decided they should subjugate and hunt them to extinction. Which is to say nothing of all the civil wars their whole feudalistic house/clan system practically encourages; along with the ever lingering question of how often do Mandos who aren't soldiers get to have full citizenship?

Hell, there was one time a Mandalorian straight up became a Jedi, ruled as Mand’alor only to have his kids steal his saber from the Jedi Temple and use it as a symbol of violence and supremacy.

I’ve always liked to think of Mandalorians as the sort of “wildcard” faction of Star Wars. They can be either the heroes or the villains and vary wildly in how they fulfill those roles, you never quite know what you’re gonna get with them on an individual level. But just about every one of them has had to confront their history and how it affects them now. And their views are often informed their upbringing and different experiences.

There's this constant through line of characters trying to reinvent what it means to be Mandalorian, all of them coming to their own conclusions, usually with the help of a Jedi or two.

Idk, I wouldn't say I'm an expert on Mandalorians or anything (I'm much more of a Jedi guy), but I got a lot of thoughts about them and how their current culture is informed by their history of imperialistic warfare.

"I think... I think I need something more than killing and fighting in my life." - Canderous Ordo

[mokuhchi-manuscripts]

Spring Troupe with an S/O Who Shares the Same Hobby

A/N: I had a ton of fun writing these. Hope y’all enjoy! I’ll eventually write these for the other troupe’s as well :)

CW(s): none

❀ Sakuya Sakuma - Theatre

Sakuya absolutely adores the fact you love theatre, as it’s such a huge passion of his

He’ll definitely ask for your help when rehearsing and memorizing lines or when practicing blocking by himself. He’ll look to you for advice at times as well whenever he’s a bit stuck.

If you’re also in theatre productions, he’ll always offer to help you with the same things and will try to give constructive criticism to you too if you ask for it

He will definitely show up to all of your performances, his theatre schedule permitting, whenever you are in a show. Doesn’t matter if you’re ensemble or the lead, he’s so incredibly proud of you and wants to cheer you on

Whenever you go to his performances he’s so grateful and swears up and down he’s performances are always a little bit better when you’re there.

Be prepared to go on theatre dates; if there’s a performance he wants to see, he’ll be sure to invite you and he hopes you’ll do the same

Sakuya looked over at you, excitement written plainly on his face. You couldn’t help but smile in response. The two of you were waiting in line to see a new theatre performance that was set to premiere that day, and you were both vibrating with excitement. Sakuya squeezed your hand and smiled at you again.

“Excited?”

“Extremely.” The line moved forward and the two of you made your way inside. As soon as you sat down and the lights began to dim, Sakuya squeezed your hand again and placed a soft kiss on the side of your face.

“Thank you for coming with me.” he whispered.

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

The fact that he can do something he loves, with someone he loves, means the absolute world to him

❀ Masumi Usui - Music

Masumi has a passion for music and the fact you do too is just another reason he loves you

He’ll definitely share his favorite CDs with you, and even make you playlists! He’ll also create special music CDs for music he recommends or just songs that remind him of you

He starts to carry earbuds on his person so you two can listen to music together no matter where you are, and if he forgets his pair he knows you most likely have your pair on you

Sometimes, when you’re spending time together, the two of you just listen to music and bask in each others presence

He’ll share a lot of alternative rock with you as it’s his favorite genre, but he’ll listen to almost anything

Even if your favorite genre isn’t his favorite, he’ll still listen to and appreciate every song you send to him

‘Hey babe!’ you texted Masumi, ‘this song reminded me of you ♡ it’s called Same Boat by LizzyMcAlpine! It’s not your usual genre but I hope you like it anyways! (Ɔ ˘⌣˘)♥(˘⌣˘ C) ‘

Masumi read the text message in his dorm, smiling to himself. He opened YouTube and typed in the title and quickly clicked a lyric video. You were right, the song was incredibly far from his favorite genre. The song was slow and soft, but somewhat pretty nonetheless.

As the song ended he opened up your text chat again. ‘I am in the same boat ♡ love you so much’ he typed out.

‘Love you too, Masumi!’ He couldn’t help but smile at his phone once more, absolutely enamored with you.

Masumi just adores the fact he share his hobby with you, and you can understand where he’s coming from when it comes to his love for music

❀ Tsuzuru Minagi - Writing

Tsuzuru finds it incredibly helpful that you also like to write, no matter if it’s script writing, poetry, non-fiction, or stories

If you do more creative writing he’ll definitely bounce ideas off of you and have you peer review some of his work to make sure it makes sense -especially since he writes a lot of his work while practically dead-. If you write more nonfiction, he may ask for help with research whenever he’s writing a historical play or anything of that such.

If you ask him to, he’ll peer edit and review your work as well. He may not always do the best job, especially if he just finished a script

Remind him to sleep and rest! You especially understand what it’s like to overwork yourself so your reminders almost mean more to him. He’ll also remind you to rest, which is quite hypocritical but he does it because he cares about you.

You were working on the final draft of your writing project when you received a phone call. The name on the screen read, ‘Tsuzuru’. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your boyfriend's name.

You answered the phone. “Hey Tsuzuru!’

“Hey! I know you’ve been working on that project lately so I just wanted to remind you to go to sleep. The project will still be there in the morning and you’ll be able to work on it better after you rest.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Tsuzuru, you’re working on a script right now, right?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll listen to your words only if you heed your own advice. You can finish the script in the morning and you’ll do better after you rest. ‘Kay?”

Tsuzuru laughed then. “Okay, I’ll try.”

“Then I’ll try as well. Love you!”

“Love you too.”

He also always hypes up your writing! He adores it so much and thinks you’re incredibly talented

❀ Itaru Chigasaki - Video Games

One of the reasons Itaru originally decided to pursue a relationship with you was because of your love for video games

He loves to recommend you games, and he’ll play any and all of the games you recommend him

You can bet you’ll have video game dates. Whether this means you backseat gaming as he uses the controller or vice versa or even playing multiplayer depends on the day.

“You have to go down!”

“No, the extra bonus isn’t here, it’s further down.”

“No no, trust me, Itaru, it’s here I’ve played this game like a bajillion times.”

“And I’ve played it a bajillion and one times.” you rolled your eyes at your boyfriend, although he couldn’t see it. He was lying on his back on the couch, and you cuddled on top of him with his arms around you as he held the controller.

“Please just at least look?” you asked.

“Fine.” You watched the playable character move out of the screen as the game faded to black. Once the game faded back in, you could see the bonus chest in the hidden room. “See! I told you!” you yelled, laughing the entire time.

“I can’t believe you proved me wrong.” he laughed too, although there was a hint of frustration in his voice. You craned your neck to kiss Itaru on the jaw.

“It’s okay, it was more of a lucky guess. Also I played this game before coming over so I could see where the hidden items were.”

Itaru will go with you to gaming stores, and will definitely use you as an excuse for being there in case he runs into a coworker. But it’s alright, as he’ll give you an apology kiss afterwards.

If you ever need help beating a game, he’ll always be there to help and give advice. And if you play gacha, he may help donate to the cause of you pulling your best boy or girl

❀ Citron - Learning New Words

Citron loves to learn new words, and if you do as well, then he’d love to learn new words with you!

He’ll definitely just flip through a dictionary with you, learning how to pronounce new words and learning their definitions

The two of you were lying on the floor of Citron’s dorm on your bellies next to each other. Between you was a dictionary.

“Letter?” you asked.

“F.”

“Alright.” You found the ‘F’ section in the dictionary and flipped to a random page, closing your eyes and pointing to a random spot.

“Fas-mill?” Citron sounded confused.

You looked at the pronunciation key. “I think it’s fac-SIH-muh-lee.”

“Oh! That makes sense. Facsimile. What does the word mean?”

“It says it means ‘an exact copy or reproduction, as of a document’. So I guess, like, whenever the director makes a copy of Tsuzuru’s scripts for you guys to memorize it’s a facsimile.”

“Oh! That makes a lot of sense. Thank you!” Citron gave you a kiss on the cheek after he finished speaking.

Sometimes your dates just consist of flipping through a dictionary and learning new words. The two of you have a lot of fun, even if others may find it odd

Sometimes he’ll tell you stories from his homeland using the new words you learned even if he doesn’t always use them correctly

❀ Chikage Utsuki - Spicy Food

Chikage is so happy someone else finally loves spicy food close to as much as he does

He may ask you for help when writing his reviews, as getting a second opinion can definitely help him at times

He’ll take you to his favorite spicy food restaurants for dates and will ask if he can order for you as he’s eaten at these restaurants so many times, he practically has their menus memorized. Because of this, he has an idea of what is good and what isn’t and you’re most likely to like

Chikage had asked if he could order your meal for you and you and you had agreed, trusting him to get you something you’d like.

A plate was soon placed in front of you and you promptly decided it looked absolutely delicious. You took a bite.

“So? How is it?”

“It’s amazing, oh my god.” you responded, your mouth still somewhat full of food.

“It’s rude to talk with your mouth full.”

“Sorry,” you replied, but your mouth still had food in it. Chikage shook his head.

“Well, I’m glad you like it. I figured you would.”

Sometimes he’ll sneak extra spice into your food- whether it’s as a ‘prank’ or not is really anyone’s guess

Sometimes, as a date, the two of you will order spicy food from a bunch of restaurants and try them all, critiquing them as if you’re professional food reviewers although you could argue Chikage kind of is

· · ─────── · ☆ · ─────── · ·

Masterlists || FaQ || Requesting Rules/Remarks

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Vickie Moseley

Vickie Moseley has 252 stories at Gossamer, some of which have also made their way to AO3. She has obviously contributed a ton to the fandom over the years! I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Giving Thanks, Stunned, and a bunch of post-eps for particular episodes, including “Firewalker” and “Pine Bluff Variant.” Big thanks to Vickie for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Not really. Well, actually, it has always surprised me that anyone would read my stories even during the heyday of the series, but that’s my self-consciousness talking. That people are discovering The X-Files is not at all surprising and that they are stumbling on fan fic is a natural extension and I find that wonderful. My husband and I never watched Grimm when it was on network TV and we’re currently going through that series, so it’s the streaming-on-demand-there-isn’t-anything-new-on-TV times we find ourselves.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

Friendships. I have a group of women that I’ve been friends with for over 20 years. Until this year we gathered in person every year. We are in contact on Facebook messenger all the time and a conversation will start up just out of thin air when we haven’t conversed for months! It’s been wonderful knowing these women from all parts of the country (and the world for that matter).

And strangely enough, medical research. My writing tended to focus on ‘injured Mulder’ (or Mulder Torture as we termed it) and I also liked reading that in fan fic. Two years ago this managed to help me in real life. My husband experienced a bilateral pneumothorax (both lungs collapsed spontaneously). One of my favorite stories that I have read and reread is “Short of Breath” by the incomparable dee_ayy. She did some serious research while writing that story and it’s all in that fan fiction. I’m not saying it’s the same as a medical degree, but I knew what was happening, why the doctors where performing certain procedures and it really eased my mind as we went through the whole experience. I never would have known what was going on if I hadn’t read that story so many times.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Email was the ‘social media’ for the day. That, and newsfeeds. There were two newsfeeds in the beginning: the official FOX website had a message board, and there was one on ‘alt.tv’ which was an internet newsfeed where fans posted spoilers and discussed episodes. The alt.tv newsfeed got tired of the fan fic writers posting stories so a separate newsfeed was formed just for fan fic. EMXC, which was an AOL mailing list, was invite only and somewhat exclusive at first, but opened up to everyone. When the old OSU (Ohio State University) mailing list turned into Gossamer and Ephemeral, the fandom, and fan fic just skyrocketed.

But what you lived for the most, as a writer, was actual feedback. Emails from people all over who read your story. It was nice to get a quick ‘Hey, read this and really like it!’ but the wonderful emails, the ones you kept in folders on your inbox, were the ones that went into detail, sometimes critical, sometimes grammar related, but always showing where you could improve, or where you touched someone. Every friend I have from the fandom started as feedback, either to me or from me. I’m on AO3 and I appreciate ‘kudos’ but I really love getting comments.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Confidence in my writing. I learned a lot from other writers. Constructive feedback was a gift! I may never write the great American novel but I don’t think I’m afraid to give it a shot after all my years in fan fic.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

They had me at ‘aliens’. I’m a sucker for UFO shows. Was front row center at Close Encounters of the Third Kind, read many of the UFO standards, still watch Ancient Aliens on History Channel. I was waiting for The X-Files based on the tiny blurb in the 1993 Fall Preview Guide from TV Guide.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I kinda got fired from a job I loved and couldn’t go back into that arena for a long time. I was so depressed I was cleaning out my kitchen cabinets. My husband ‘gave’ me the internet for my birthday just to get me out of the dumps. I went straight to ‘yahoo’ and typed in X Files. After reading all the character bios I saw a ‘hyperlink’ (yes, that’s what we called them in 1995) to something called ‘fan fiction’. It was the OSU tree directory of about 100 fan fiction stories. I was instantly hooked.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I still love the show and all the fans I run across. I was not happy with S8 or S9 but I did watch The Truth. I was on Haven for a while during the reboots (S10 and S11) but it wasn’t the same. I’ve got all the seasons on DVD or blu ray and both movies. When I hear from fans, I’m so happy to connect but I don’t go out and look for new stories anymore.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

None. My heart belongs to Mulder ;)

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Captain Kirk, Spock, Captain Picard, Will Riker, Luke, Han, Leia, Poe, Rae, Kylo at the end. I like strong characters but it’s OK if they have flaws. I’d like to see more strong female leads in science fiction (Gammora and Nebula are favs of mine, too). I love Brea Larson’s portrayal of Captain Marvel!  

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Sure. When the Pandemic hit we started going through the series for maybe the 20th time. It’s nice to watch them on a larger TV screen. Kim Manners was a genius with lighting and showing just enough of the ‘monster’. I suspect he will be better appreciated in the future than he was at the time he was alive.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I still go back and read my favorites from XF. I read Blood Ties by Dawn about once a year, the whole series. I go back and read the Virtual Season X seasons. We had some really good stories in those years.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Too many to list! Dawn, of course. Susan Proto (I co-wrote with her), Sally Bahnsen, dee_ayy, Suzanne Bickerstaff’s Magician Series was the first (and only) fantasy I ever truly liked! I loved all my co-writers and there are plenty of writers that I wish we’d gotten around to collaborating.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I’m proud of Out of the Cold because it’s Mulder before Scully. I’m partial to the Flight Into Egypt series because I like ‘righting’ what I thought Carter got wrong in the end.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I keep trying! I’m working (have been working for almost a decade now) on a Flight Into Egypt story set at Christmas. Each fall I drag it out of mothballs, write a paragraph or two and get busy doing Christmas stuff. Funny, but it was easier to find time to write when I was a working mom of 6 than as a retired grandma of 3.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I’m putting together a cookbook for my kids and grandkids of all our family recipes. It’s not just the recipes, but the stories behind them. It’s a WIP (work in progress).

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I had a book, just a cheap paperback of unexplained events—all true stories, supposedly—that I got a lot of ideas from. Or, like Carter, I would see something in the news and it would turn into a story. One time I had a dream about our Pur water filter and it turned into a fan fic.

What's the story behind your pen name?

My older sister named me because my Mom and Dad let her. I never used a pen name. That’s my real name, you can google me and find out all about me. I used to have a wiki page or so my kids told me.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My kids used to tell their friends that ‘Mom is famous on the internet’ as a joke. Most of my friends know. My other life is in politics and the two lives usually don’t cross but once on a campaign I was asked by a reporter if I was the ‘same’ Vickie Moseley who writes fan fiction. If I had lied, that would have been the story—that I lied about this hobby of mine. Like it was something to be ashamed of or I was ashamed of my writing. So instead of ducking the question I said ‘yeah, have you read any of my stuff?’ Fan fiction was not mentioned in the finished article.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

I’m on AO3 but only a partial list. My website is still up thanks to Mimic.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Back when I started writing (1995) it was a sort of commune. We all loved reading fan fiction, we didn’t want the story to end with the credits. So if you wanted to read, you were encouraged to write, too, so that others had stories to read and share. It was a cooperative arrangement very much like the old Literary Societies back in the 19th Century.  I really miss that, so I hope that on some level that is still going on.

(Posted by Lilydale on November 10, 2020)

[djmunden]

Thousand Scars Author Interview

Hey guys, back with a new isolation interview! I’ll have an SPFBO author interview ready for the weekend, but I’d like to bring back an old survivor of the Scar den in Deston Munden. Hope you guys enjoy! 

First of all, tell me about yourself! What do you write?

Hello again! I’m Deston J. Munden, former SPFBO writer and now resident stuck in the house author. I’m a science fiction and fantasy author who is surviving all this craziness by stuffing his head full on Dungeons and Dragons characters and learning how to cook neat food. I’m the author of two series, Dargath Chronicles and Dusk Orbit Blues, both which are getting an audiobook real soon. It’s a pleasure to be back.

How do you develop your plots and characters?

I’ve been asked this quite a few times and I never feel like my answers are satisfactory, but nevertheless true. They just kinda come to me. There are small inciting events that makes me want to develop a character or a plot. It could just be me sitting and reading. It could just me be playing a game or roleplaying a completely unrelated character.  From there, I put them on what I called the simmer mode. I slowly develop them in my head until they are ready for the drafting phase.

Tell the world about your current project!

Dargath is a fun, high fantasy world that I created a while back. It’s a world where everyone has magic and no one is truly human. I wanted to create a world where magic was a common stance and everyone has a degree of it that is unique to them. Also, I wanted a world where the reader doesn’t go in with the natural biasness of starting with a human. Yes, there are human-like races, but I wanted to have this mystical feeling to everything. The world is split into two continents, eight races, and plenty of subraces. It’s rich in history, politics, and turmoil while also having that classic dungeons and dragons type of feeling to the world. If that seems like your type of thing, try me out!

Who would you say is the main character of your latest novel? And tell me a little bit about them!

Ser Torlyek is the main character of the novel that is coming out later this year. I’ve been marketing him as Neville Longbottom meets Thor from the MCU and Steven Universe. He’s my first autistic main character who adores knights and honor beyond anything else. He’s also a complex character who has a deep backstory with his family. Duke’s Brand follows him as he comes to terms with who he is now as well as him making friends along the way. I hope that you guys enjoy him as much as I enjoyed writing him.

Have you been to any conventions? If so, tell me a little about them!

I’ve been to so many conventions! They are some of my favorite places to go for vacations. They are so lively and powerful, and you get to meet so many fellow nerds. My goal this year was to finally sell my books at a convention. Sadly, that didn’t happen. Now, I’m going through convention withdrawal. If you never gone to a convention before, I’ll honestly suggest that you try it out. There are so many cool things that you can find and you’ll meet so many cool people.

When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer?

I realized that I wanted to be a writer when I was young. Luckily, none of my teachers tried to squash that love. Instead, they tried their hardest to cultivate the talent that they saw. I always wrote fan fictions and loved the creative writing assignments given to me. But, it wasn’t until after college where I realized this was a career I could do. Self-publishing opened an entirely new opportunity for me and ever since I’ve been pushing myself more and more to expand my dream into a reality.

If you had the opportunity to live anywhere in the world for a year while writing a book that took place in that same setting, where would you choose?

Rome, hands down. There’s so much history there that I would love to explore and set a story within. I think it would be fun to explore the mythology and the people of rome and wrapping that up in a story that I would write.

What advice would you give new writers?

Finish. That. First. Draft. I’ve seen so many new writers get into what I call the world building loop or worse the first chapter loop. Its when a new writer keeps world building or writing the first chapter endlessly until the end of time. That is not how you’re going to improve. You’re going to have to finish that first draft at one point or another. Not to say pre-writing is not important, however, if you’re stuck on it you need to start on the first draft. As a new writer, learning how to finish a project is key.

What real-life inspirations did you draw from for the worldbuilding?

Too many. I usually get inspiration from history, cultures, food, architecture, generally whatever that I think would make my world feel richer and livelier. Each of the races are inspired somewhat after certain regions of our world albeit blended in such a way to better fit the region I’m going for. I’ve used things from Africa, the Middle East, Medieval Europe, Egypt, etc to make my world feel stronger and cohesive. It’s a fun experience as a history and culture nerd.

What inspires you to write?

I enjoy it. That’s the long and short of it all. Writing is a passion of mine. I love sitting down at the computer and letting my imagination go wild. There’s a magic to it all. I used to write after I finished my schoolwork in class just for fun. I didn’t realize that was weird until my teacher saw me doing it while everyone else was playing games on the computer. Writing is my creative outlet and without it I might burst.

What is the hardest part of writing for you?

The hardest part for me is keeping the pace with everything. There’s a lot that goes into be an author. Some days I just want to sit down and write, but I know I can’t do that all the time. There are days where I’m going to have to research, do my social media, and market the books I already have released. Managing my time has become quite difficult.

What is your routine when writing, if any? If you don’t follow a routine, why not?

My routine is usually 8-4 every weekday. If I don’t follow this schedule, I will and can work myself to death.

What was your favorite chapter (or part) to write in any of your books, and why?

This is spoiler territory. There’s a certain scene in Tavern that I really enjoy that has made people lose their marbles and I always laugh manically about when I get a message about it. Recently though, I’ve been getting a lot of “OMG” about a certain scene in the middle of Dusk Mountain Blues. It makes me giggle. I might be evil.

What these two scenes have in common is that I throw the reader for a loop. I love doing that.  

Did you learn anything from writing your latest book? If so, what was it?

Writing Duke’s Brand and Dusk Ocean Blues taught me a lot how to condense my writing style a bit. Lately, I’ve been trying to hone my writing style a bit. I feel like writing these two books has helped that a lot going forward.

Are you a plotter or a pantser? A gardener or an architect?

I am definitely a pantser. I’m all about writing it and winging it until I get to the second draft.

If you had to give up either snacks and drinks during writing sessions, or music, which would you find more difficult to say goodbye to?

Definitely snacks. I can give up music if I had to, but snacks I need to survive. I can’t imagine how I’ll get through certain parts of my novel without snacking on some chips or some other ungodly unhealthy food or beverage.

Which is your favorite season to write in, and why?

Spring. There is something about the temperature and the outside environment that brings out the power in me.

It’s sometimes difficult to get into understanding the characters we write. How do you go about it?

It’s all about learning how that character ticks. The big thing I’ve realized about getting in the mindset of a character is knowing their motivation. A person drive and ambition tell a lot about the character as a whole and getting into the mindset of them. You gotta realize what they want to realize who they are. From there, I think, their personalities, dreams, relationships, etc becomes more apparent the more you write it.

What are your future project(s)?

Dusk Ocean Blues (Book 2 of Dusk Orbit Blues)

Undergrove (Book 3 of Dargath Chronicles)

Dusk Country Blues (Book 3 of Dusk Orbit Blues)

What is your favorite book ever written?

I’m pleading the fifth here. I enjoy all the books that I’ve written so far. There are parts where I feel like I’ve done better in this book while others in that one. So at the end the day, I can’t choose.

Who are your favorite authors?

Traditionally Published: Brandon Sanderson, Patrick Rothfuss, Michael J. Sullivan, Robert Jordan, Scott Lynch, Jonathan French, Brent Weeks, Sean Grisby, and Gareth L. Powell, Renee April.

Self Published: James Jakins, Emmet Moss, Deck Matthews, Andy Peloquin, Bernard Bertram, Garrett B. Robinson.

There’s probably a million more.

What makes a good villain?

A good motivation and a strong personality. I’m the type of person that enjoys a big personality in my villain over sheer fear and power they may possess. The villains that have a good time while also having depth speak out to me. Yes, I do enjoy the looming dark lord type villain as well, but if I can somehow get both I’m a happy camper.

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Cooking! It’s my favorite past time other than video games and tabletop RPGs. I’m not as good as it as other people, but I’m trying my best and I’m learning every day!

If you couldn’t be an author, what ideal job would you like to do?

A chef! Like I said before, cooking is a fun hobby and being a chef/cook would be a fun job for me. I also like to bake, so a baker would be not too far behind. I just like working with food.

Coffee or Tea? Or (exult deep breath) what other drink do you prefer, if you like neither?

Tea! There are so many different types of teas and most which I can drink (because I can’t have a lot of caffeinated beverages). I prefer fruity teas, but I’m willing to try any of it.

You can travel to anywhere in the universe. Where would you go, and why?

Whew. I don’t know. I’ll probably want to try to find new planets to explore, specifically with new life.

Do you have any writing blogs you recommend?

No. I don’t have any writer blogs that I’ll recommend but check out the #writerblr tag on tumblr if you need any inspiration!

Do you have any writer friends you’d like to give a shoutout to?

Nicky Ball, Kathryn York, Hallie Fleischmann, Chris Barber, Dave Deickman, Emmet Moss, Bernard Bertram, and Deck Matthews to name a few!

Pick any three fiction characters. These are now your roadtrip crew. Where do you go and what do you do?

Clay Cooper from Kings of the Wyld, Matrim Couthon from Wheel of Time, and Wayne from The Alloy of Law.  

We’re gonna go on a rock-star tour and we’re gonna cause some trouble.

What superpower would you most like?

Super Strength. I know that’s a simple power to want to have but it would just make my life a whole lot easier. Being able to pick up a lot of things would be amazing.

What are two of your favorite covers of all time? (Not your own.)

Kings of the Wyld by Nicholas Eames

Eye of the World by Robert Jordan

It’s a very difficult time right now for the world. When quarantine and pandemic comes to an end, what is the first thing you would like to do?

Travel more and meet some of my online friends. My goal this year was to travel more, get out there, and meet some of the people that I’ve been talking to for ages. The quarantine and pandemic put that to a screeching halt. I want to go to more conventions, I want to see more places, and I want just enjoy life more. This whole situation made me realize that I haven’t been out nearly as much as I want to be.

Finally, what is your preferred method to have readers get in touch with or follow you (i.e., website, personal blog, Facebook page, here on Goodreads, etc.) and link(s)?

Remember to follow me everywhere below and it was great coming back!

Website: www.djmunden.com

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Deston-J-Munden/e/B07Q2D6948/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/SrBuffaloKnight

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authordjmunden/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/D.J.Munden/

Goodreads:

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/18874896.Deston_J_Munden If you have Kindle Unlimited, both of my books are available there too!

[toongrrl-blog]

Bridget Jones: In Company with Beckys and Karens

We can start with unpacking your luggage Bridget, you are gonna need the help but pull your weight into it. 

Hi Bridget, looking good as always. Long time, huh? I guess it has been awkward after I have given your husband Mark a beat down and sent roses to his first ex-wife and your ex supervisor Perpetua. I think it’s time we talk. I understand life hasn’t been easy for you: your mother is nutty and a misogynistic racist, your father is friends with pervs and found it astounding you had a real boyfriend (Colin Jones won’t escape my ire), your friends are trash frankly especially the smug marrieds, you are insecure over a body that actually isn’t really a outlier to the dominant white patriarchal standard of cis female beauty (by the way, have you heard butt implants exist now?), your jerk husband is very negging and in the original novel he “compliments” you by pulling “Not like other girls” on you and all your other boyfriends see you as a piece of ass and don’t respect you, your uncle gropes your ass for how long and his wife pesters you about your body and past singleness. 

But let’s be real Bridget: those wilderness years where you feared becoming a sad spinster were endured in a spacious apartment where your bedroom was separate from the kitchen AND the living room without a roommate (hope I get this lucky), you haven’t wanted for nothing growing up in a affluent and safe town in a single-income family (your dad was also a accountant), you were given blonde hair and blue eyes (traits that have been considered desirable for multiple millenniums), your body was always curvier than you’d like but you had no problem finding a lot of clothes in your size and didn’t have a doctor fat shame you (now smoking and drinking...), I learned from Jameela Jamil that actually Britain of your teens and twenties was a racist time, you got to go to college (granted it was in the University of Wales, which wasn’t “prestigious” enough for Daniel Cleaver) and you got a stable office job at a publishing company that you often fudged (most WOC can’t fuck up like you and thrive in this culture), and you never been in most situations where you didn’t have to look in the media or in the room and find yourself out of place. 

Well now it’s 2020, have you heard of Black Lives Matter? This shitstorm of a year has been forcing us to confront issues regarding the patriarchy, capitalism, white supremacy, putting people of privilege to question their own involvement in prejudice, and a highly militarized law enforcement. Has Mark spoke of this to you? I haven’t heard a peep from you and Helen Fielding. I must say, I was glad not to hear either you or Helen say anything transphobic (fuck off JK Rowling). I think you heard of these memes going around called “the Karen” and “the Becky”, you must be wondering what the difference between the two are and was at a loss to counsel your smug married friends or your racist ass mother crying over being called Karens. Here is the trouble, I think you are likely a Becky and have the potential to turn into a Karen, after all you dream of weaponizing your mother’s embarrassing casual racism and thin privilege against Perpetua and Mark Darcy, and you dabbled in the White Savior trope for a hot minute in Thailand (oh and playing an idealized Ivanka Trump to your mother in the 3rd film?). Also let’s face it, you are compared to every confident, capable woman in your universe (surprise they are all bitches) or the non-Anglo British or non-British conquests of Daniel or Mark’s ex wife. 

Let’s talk about the traits of a Karen and Becky and how they are related, Bridget.

Karen

Ah the Karen, or as Tv Tropes called her the “Obnoxious Entitled Housewife”. 

Here is a bullet point of traits the Karen possesses according to The Take:

She’s an entitled, middle-aged, upper or middle class, often White woman.

She mistreats those “beneath her” like wait staff and customer service, classism at it’s most in-your-face and irritating.

She follows the rules, except the part about expired coupons.

She sticks to the hierarchy, using it to prop herself up. 

Often passive-aggressive and judgmental.

She puts up the image of the perfect fragile woman, even if she instigated a crime.

Narcissistic behavior. 

She considers herself the policewoman of human behavior.

She often lacks a understanding of different races and classes.

She projects her own misery on those who cannot fight back against her.

She is often a Know Nothing Know It All.

This probably hits home Bridget, they describe your mother, Auntie Una, and smug married friends. When you look at the news from my country, you tell yourself every time they wonder about your marital status or when you will have children, you are likely keeping them from calling the police on a black kid selling cups of water. But Karen is merely the more outwardly mature version of a trope you definitely fit and her name is....

Becky

Hey Bridget, your hair may not be as shiny as you like but according to a White Supremacist structure, you have “good hair”. You dealt with your literal Beckys Bridget (hi book version Rebecca Gillies), but what “Becky” refers to is to a often ditzy, somewhat entitled, young, white woman who lacks real racial understanding. It refers to how our society props up an image of idealized white femininity, sometimes it bleeds into women not considered “ideal” themselves. 

By the way, the redhead featured is Joan Holloway. She isn’t ditzy like a Becky but her Queen Bee behaviors, her reliance on her pretty privilege, lack of racial understanding, and her adherence to femininity and social climbing make her a modern-day Becky Sharp (also an earlier Becky). 

Remember when you contemplated introducing Mark as “a middle-aged prick who was lefty by his cruel raced ex-wife”? Wasn’t that kind of racist of your Bridget? Not so different from your mother? Here are a few traits:

Becky can be oblivious to her surroundings (and the feelings of others less advantaged than she).

She usually gets away with trouble due to her idealized Anglo looks.

Willfully naïve.

Conventionally feminine.

Often spoiled. 

She and her interests are basic and mainstream (sounds like milk tray, Colin Firth binge fests, shopping, numerous garden parties).

She is often cushioned against disappointment (in the 3rd film we were all supposed to be on your side while your bitchy boss fired you for very good reasons).

Unaware of other’s needs because she is so used to things going her way.

Her ignorance can be just as frustrating and harmful as a Karen’s maliciousness.

Becky is given real growth in fiction, to learn to be better. 

The thing is Bridget....where is your character development? It seems you hardly achieve much confidence, intellect, or maturity. In the 3rd film, I was shocked you were in your forties, I thought I was looking at a overgrown teenager. Perhaps you are a victim of Flanderization?

Karen and Becky

Now we look at how bad things could get if you don’t check your privilege soon enough Bridget, yes a lot of Beckys run the risk of becoming Karens. This is Mother-Daughter pair, Nancy (daughter) and Karen (Mother) Wheeler, I put them because of the connection but they don’t fit the stereotype (despite one of them having the name) but they are privileged white women talking about their shared experiences with misogyny. And most Beckys and Karens had to deal with misogyny, both outside and internalized, the issue being they don’t see how other people had to suffer due to prejudice.

Now Bridget, with your mother, you are a Becky while she was always a Karen. That is you are ignorant about your white privilege while your mother runs on casual racism, ignorance, and Tory politics. Ask her or Mark about the race riots, ask her  and Mark about Enoch Powell. And yes Julie Bindel, a fellow compatriot of yours, complained about the Karen label but honestly it’s scary about how some of your peers chortled over racist jokes or your mother’s antics but get up in arms when people of color in service jobs call ya’ll out. But there are some Karen traits you show already, you will weaponize your place in the pecking order to beat down on another woman, like with Perpetua and Mark’s first ex-wife. 

What does this say about you?

I will be the first to admit, I would’ve jumped up and cheered if I woke up in your body. You are conventionally prettier, but lately I recognized my own points and one of them is flair and the ability to read folks. Believe it or not Bridget, you are seen as a role model and a relatable figure to folks (and your last film ran on Millennial bashing, hating on younger women is not a good look). Maybe these Zoomer teens were on to something? Bridge, they will save us, we need to do the work. 

Now maybe you can take a cue from Dr. Rawlings on how to support and critique women Bridget? In the meantime, I think if I run into you, I’ll run if I see your mother. 

Not all is lost, I see you are a reader, maybe put down the self-help books and do some self-improvement by learning how to be a better white ally. I would like to read Hood Feminism (Mikki Kendall is a delight on Twitter). Meanwhile, if you do release a 4th movie in the future: don’t release it during a U.S. election year (I have had enough right wing presidents to last my teens and twenties).  

[friendlyneighborhoodborg]

Marc Appreciation Week 2019| Day 2: Hero/Villain| ”Coping Mechanism”

Okay, so I know the prompt is basically supposed to mean “this character but with a miraculous.”  The backslash (/) in the prompt is meant to be taken as “or.”

But...

That’s one ambiguous backslash.

Let me know what I’m doing right/wrong.  Disclaimers were in the Day 1 submission.

~1700 words, for those who care.

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

           Monday was a lot smoother than Sunday.  On Monday, Marc had stuff to do, including, but not limited to, school, meetings, and feeling depressed.

           Few strangers would be surprised to hear that he was depressed today.  After all, it had been two days since his little episode, and akuma victims generally had some sort of depressed attitude for a few days after.  Anyone who knew him would be even less surprised; Marc was anything but the ray of sunshine some of his schoolmates were.

           Getting akumatized was exactly the trauma he didn’t need.

           It was a little bit of the dissociation he had heard other people feel.  Having no memories of the event, watching the news and seeing himself as that stranger was jarring for a multitude of reasons.  He saw him as someone with his thoughts and personality, basically everything that made him himself, only twisted into someone with a killing rage and the means to destroy.  There was a lot of himself in Reverser, and that’s one of the things he tried to ignore from his viewing experience.

           The other thing he ignored was how familiar that experience was, seeing someone with his face and emotions do things only a complete stranger would.  He did often feel like he was projecting himself to the people around him,  with an overwhelming need to stifle his passions to stay normal.  He only felt allowed to act like himself when he was alone with his journal.  Being someone else wasn’t too far off from his normal, everyday life, which is why Reverser’s power-set in particular kinda sucked.

           Then the last thing he tried to brush off was the increasing number of stares he got from people who had never been corrupted. He just hated people looking at him in general.  Including himself, sometimes, and the extra attention was not welcome at all.

           But he was begrudgingly used to getting judged. Judging himself had even become a habit. Every morning, he’d look at himself in the mirror.  He’d feel some sort of emotion, something he hadn’t quite found the right words for yet. It would fall somewhere between “Ugh, not him again” and “Well, it could be worse.”  He had found that hiding his face was a good way of combating the more extreme end of the scale of loathing, so he had starting wearing makeup.  And he’d do his own face in the mirror until he felt more like “Well, it could be worse.”

           Point is, he didn’t like people noticing him, but he could usually brush it off.

           He didn’t usually take this approach to his writing.  He generally thought the writing was pretty good, especially if no one but him was going to see it.  No matter what, he rarely ever wrote down his own thoughts, or if he did, they were unintended, or buried and disguised as something else.

           His thoughts wandered to the journal in his backpack. The tale of a forbidden love between a hero and a former villain, the kind of workplace romance that scores a high budget and has audiences flocking to the cinema.  A de-evilization gone wonderfully wrong, making the butterfly’s effects on its victim permanent, a blossoming emotions between him the heroine who saved him.

           Starring the dubious alter-ego of one Nathaniel Kurtzberg, and written as the heroine from a first-person perspective.

           God, he wondered what Freud would say if he was living today.

           Thankfully, only one student seemed to have cottoned on that his artistic admiration went a little deeper than conventional, but even then he wasn’t sure if Marinette actually knew the full-blown extent of his crush.

           ‘Nope,’ he reminded himself.  ‘Not thinking about that today.  He’s your project partner, and that’s it, and he very obviously has a thing for strong, female superheroes.’

           ‘Well, that’s why you wrote from Ladybug’s POV, isn’t it?’ he argued.  ‘Why don’t you admit what the problem is?’

           ‘That’s not the problem.’  He straightened his back.  ‘I know that’s not what the problem is.  And I don’t have time for this right now.’

           Today, despite his constant state of internal darkness, he was early to school.  And so was a certain redhead artist whose attention he duly attempted to avoid.

           Poorly.

           As per his double-standards.

           Marc shrank as Nathan’s eyes met his and he was waved over against his will.

           He didn’t appreciate being called out like this, especially not in public. But since it was him... he inched up to him.

           “Morning,” Nath said, smiling.

           ‘Gosh dangit.’

           Nevertheless, Marc was determined to keep a level head. It may have been true at one point that the wordsmith had maybe possibly harbored some potentially… problematic emotions for this boy, it was abundantly clear nothing good would come of them.  It was a morose conclusion, as it usually was, but one that had to be reached for both of their goods.  So, he was determined to end his crush on this artist by any means necessary.

           Even if his eyes were clear blue gemstones, teeming with some unseen energy that made him want to keep looking—

           ‘No!’ he chastised.  ‘Bad Marc!’

           “You okay?” Nathaniel asked, and Marc realize he hadn’t answered him.

           “Yeah,” he admitted.  “I’m not a morning person,” Marc admitted.  Internally, he mused, ‘Or an evening person.  Or an afternoon person.  Really, I’m barely a person.’

           Unable to see into Marc’s soul, Nathaniel continued.  “Well, I hope it gets better.”

           ‘It rarely does.’  “You seem to be in a good mood, at least.”

           “Yeah.”  He scratched his head absently.  “Probably not what you expected, huh?  How am I supposed to be emo when I like sunshine?”

           “You seem to be managing yourself just fine.”

           “Thanks, I guess.”  He shrugged off his bag.  “So, we didn’t really do any work yesterday.  Got any ideas for a story?”

           “Oh.”  Marc relaxed, knowing this must be all Nathan wanted from him.  “I hadn’t really given it much thought.  Probably the usual heroes’ dynamic at play.  Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Mighty-Illustrator.”

           Nath looked confused for a second.  “But what about…”

           “What?”

           “Well,” he opened his satchel and pulled out his sketchbook, then he started flipping through it.  “Look, see here.”  He pointed at one page in particular.

           He saw what Nathaniel had drawn.

           He was suddenly aware of everyone looking at him.

           When he came to his senses, he found he was hiding in a bathroom stall.  Someone was banging on the stall door, trying to get his attention.

           “Marc!”  Nathan’s voice carried a deep concern.  “I’m sorry, I should have—I mean, of course, I’m an idiot!  I just…” He groaned loudly at himself, and his voice softened.  “I’m sorry. I should have realized, it’s too new for you.  It only happened a couple days ago…… Look, you can feel free to hate me, I didn’t think about what you’d…”  He just trailed off and left them both in silence.

           Marc heard him start to leave.

           “How do you do it?” he asked, suddenly.

           “Wh-what?”

           “You turned your akuma into the hero?  Why did you do that?” he demanded.  “How could you do that?”

           Nathaniel didn’t answer verbally.  Of course he didn’t, why would he?  He didn’t like expressing himself verbally.

           There was a rustling of papers and something was slid under the door.

           Marc picked it up.  “Are you crazy?  You put your sketchbook on the bathroom floor?”

           “Just look, Marc.”

           He did.  “This is… Mighty-Illustrator and Marinette.”

            There was a pause, and then, “That’s Super-Nathan.”

           “Huh?”

           Nathaniel explained.  “Super-Nathan.  I told you, I’m not good with words or names. He was… well, it was me as a superhero. That’s how he was created, and that’s what I drew him to be.  I wanted to be strong and empowered and witty and do all the things superheroes get to do. I don’t know if you noticed this about me, but I don’t… I’m not strong and I’m not witty.”

           “You’re pretty witty.  I mean, you made this.”  He realized something was off with the picture, however.  “Um, I thought he was supposed to like Ladybug, though.”

           “That was only after I was akumatized.”

           “Oh… Wait, so then… oh.”

           “Yep.  Super-Nathan came first.  Then Hawk Moth turned Super-Nathan into a villain.  Super-Nathan became Evillustrator.  Then I turned him back into Mighty-Illustrator.”  He took a deep breath, and continued forward, his words blazing with a strength Marc hadn’t heard him use before.  “Super-Nathan is mine.  Not his.  I figured this is the one way I can get back at him.  Taking him back, using him to fight Hawk Moth.  Fictionally, anyway.”

           Marc was somewhat grateful for the door in between them.  Nathaniel couldn’t see his completely floored reaction.

           Marc looked down at the sketchbook in his hands. He flipped to the most recently-used page, careful not to look at any of the others.

           The face of evil stared back up at him, striking a heroic pose.

           “We don’t have to use him,” assured the cartoonist. “If you don’t want to.”

           Marc stared back down at himself.  He was only startled out of it when Nathaniel’s steps started walking away.

           “No,” Marc said, stopping him.  “We can use Reverser.”  He hesitated.  “Only… can we change his name?  Like you did?”

           “Well,” his collaborator mused.  “You’re the writer.  And it is you, after all.  You think of something.”

           Making sure his face was back to its normal pale, Marc opened the door.  And there was Nathaniel.  Marc passed him back his sketchbook.  It was taken with gratitude.  “We don’t have to work today if you’re not up to it still.”

           Marc considered this before slowly nodding.

           “Okay.”  He turned to leave.  “Whenever you’re ready, then, you’ve got my number.”  He stopped at the door, still with his back turned.  “Hey, Marc?”

           A noise of acknowledgement was made.

           “I don’t usually do art for anyone but myself. But…” he searched for his words, which seemed to have left him.   “It-it’s nice to work with someone.”  He turned back and regarded Marc, smiling.  “Especially you.”  Then, looking unsure of himself, he awkwardly made his exit.

           Marc was now all by himself in the washroom, and he was suddenly very aware of the heat in his cheeks.

           He sighed.  Not out of any particular emotion, except maybe frustration.

          ‘Gosh dangit.’

I’m taking the mostly positive comments as a sign that I’m on the right track, so I’m just gonna keep going with this.  If the other chapters aren’t as good... well, there’s worse things than this on this site.  And I only finished this today, barely on the deadline, so I’ll try not to stress much over it.

[rothwritten]

My Never-Ending Journey to Better Writing (a forever unfinished journal)

I’m sure we all did it back then. Writing, in its most scribbly, innocent, form. When you’re in school, you write. Sometimes not even for class, sometimes you do it on your own. You write stories about your friends, animals you saw, things you do. Little adventures. 

Then you grow older. You’re in high school; maybe you’ve stuck with it. You’re still writing, only this time things have come along. Your sentences are more rounded, the vocabulary has gotten complex, you’ve figured out a few of the basics of a story. You keep writing. This time it’s more fictional, or more vivid, maybe even more experimental. You ‘just’ found David Lynch with your friends, you’re watching old, foreign films, or maybe even you’ve started reading Burroughs or Thompson.

You’re reading heavily, you’re writing lots. In fact, people, family or teachers or friends, say that you’re doing it ‘so much’ that you should think about doing something with it. Maybe going to a college with a focus on story-telling (mine having been film school) or trying to get some of your work published. 

So you do, you’ve applied, you’ve gotten replies, and you’ve decided on a place. You’re all moved in, you’re on your first projects and... everybody there had done the same thing. You’re now with hundreds of other story-tellers from other schools; you think that if you’d gone to those places, your work may not have measured to theirs. In fact, their work is so grand, that you’ve become somewhat discouraged. 

“I’m not as good as them.” 

“I can’t do x, y, z as good as they can.”

And that place, my friends, is the absolute best place to start. You see, you’ve now hit your first artistic wall, a lot of us have been there, you hit the standard that others have set for themselves, you’ve all come from similar backgrounds, and now you’re in one room. And if capitalism has taught us anything; they’re competition.

Only they’re not, you’re lying to yourself, and if any of them (or you) make it about ‘the competition’ you’re doing a huge disservice to what this whole thing is about. 

First and foremost, there isn’t ‘limited space’ available for artists. There’s already millions of artists out there, from a painter of tiny portraits, to writers of massive epics, and everyone in-between. We’re not hitting a cap anytime soon.

Secondly, and this one is important, you’re all heading to the same place; successful artistry. So everyone there? They can help you, you can help them, you can even team up. How many books have you seen with multiple authors, or movies with two directors and a handful of screenwriters? Where do you think editors come from? Or letterers? 

There’s competition in the market, sure, but while you’re down here creating, everyone around you is both a possible friend, and possible resource. Life is lonely enough as it is for us to eschew others because we’ve been marketed that everything is some competition.

But hey, maybe the pressure did get to you, like it did to me.

Maybe seeing all that fantastic work, for all that time, slowly eroded your confidence. It’s gone from “they’re better” to “everyone’s better”. All right, let’s take some time. Say you drop out, like I did (both in part to feeling inadequate, and personal tragedy), and you make the call that you’re gonna work for a bit. That right there is a good, important step.

Money aside (as wonderfully important as that is), all art starts off self-motivated to some degree and as such, you’ve never really had to work under someone else’s dime. 

Working a job, kitchen, retail, means you’re taking orders, and seeing how other people operate on the day-to-day. It means being accountable, which is so important, I can’t even stress that enough. Sure, you’ll jump around from one place to another, and that’s okay. But working a job that you’re not a fan of, even if it’s tough, is crucial to building your perspective. I worked in furniture moving, retail, even an incredibly small stint in a kitchen (and kudos to the people who can work in kitchens, because that can be such a difficult job.)

Now, with that under your belt, you’re slowly seeing how being a professional artist is your final goal. In fact, these few years of working jobs has given you good perspective, it’s introduced you to many people, ranging from lovely to horrible. You’re getting inspired again, because you recognize that you’re seeing the world differently. 

You’ve gotten humbled (something many artists, myself included, need early on.) because you see that it’s not about being the next best, it’s about putting you and your vision into the world. You’re not trying to be the next Neil Gaiman, or Margaret Atwood, or whomever your idol is. No, you’re trying to be [insert first name] [insert last name]. Because the world needs [insert first name] [insert last name]‘s vision. They’re new, they’ve got this way of seeing the world that a few people just might resonate with.

Now you start again, you go back to the drawing board. And here you may find yourself attempting to forego all the education you’ve gotten to this point, because if you’re like me; experience went further than education did. After all, I’m a rebel! Right? I don’t follow the rules, I’m doing things differently. This, as it took me a few years to learn, is a false lead.

Experience is raw ore. You mine it out of the mountains of what you see, and you take this ore to market. Nobody wants raw ore, most people have no clue what to do with its shapelessness and inconsistency. You need the tools to heat and hammer your ore into an ingot; clear, consistent, understandable.

You, as tough as it can be, need to look back at what you learned, and look forward to new education. It doesn’t have to be college, though that certainly is an option (I went through a couple more programs in my time). It can be instructional books like Robert McKee’s ‘Story’, or deconstructing your favourite novels to see what makes them work. Experience, in Robert McKee’s words, simply isn’t enough.

I’d love to go further with this, but that’s where I’m at right now. Using the last seven years of hard education (experience, tragedy, study) to try and make this whole thing work. I’ve tried my best to fail upwards, because life is filled with potential failure. But I’d rather fail and do something, than fail by doing nothing. 

I hope reading this resonates with you in some way. Thanks for letting me, quite literally, ramble on. 

[onestowatch]

Enigmatic Dream-Pop Band Sports Talks Biggest High School Regret & Making Sure ‘Everyone’s Invited’ [Q&A]

Dream pop band Sports formed in their small town of Norman, Oklahoma and have been playing together since grade school, yet their novel take on the dream pop genre remains excitingly fresh. Consisting of brothers Jacob Theriot and Cale Chronister, the trio first made headway with their 2015 debut album Naked All the Time. In the years to come, the dream pop trio would deliver two more much-applauded releases, 2016’s People Can’t Stop Chillin and 2018’s Everyone’s Invited, each of which would see Sports venturing into newfound territory.    

Everyone’s Invited, in particular, served as a noted departure for the band, as the trio explored a range of funk influences to deliver one of the most unique dream pop projects of the year. Despite their increasing notoriety in the world of indie pop and amongst music tastemakers, including an upcoming performance at Tropicalia Fest in Long Beach, CA, Sports has retained a somewhat enigmatic persona. This may have something to do with their fashion attire of choice--cowboy hats and sequined suits. Whether it’s their impeccable fashion choices or shimmering dream pop that drew you into their world, or you’re discovering them here for the first time, we’re happy to let you know a thing or two about Sports as we sit down with the trio behind the band.

OTW: So, all of you started playing together when you were still in grade school, but at what point did you decide to form an actual band?

Cale: I saved up 200 dollars to buy a Toys R Us drum set, so I could start a band and that’s how I met Christian. He was just another guy at my school that played guitar, and I met Jacob because he was his brother. It's like we were only friends cause we wanted to start a band.

OTW: Do you all still play the same instruments as you did when you first started?

Jacob: Yeah, I wanted to play guitar, but he played guitar and of course I didn't want to do the same thing as him. I don't know I felt like I just was naturally more of a bass player at the moment. It just felt right

Cale: You had to be bass.

OTW: Your sound has evolved quite a bit, especially on the latest album Everyone’s Invited. It’s very synth heavy, but was it always that vibe? Or did it take a while to get to that sound?

Jacob: Well we'd been playing for 10 years so, we didn’t even know that music existed. 

Cale: We were playing pretty much guitar-heavy songs but we were like 13 listening to just whatever was on the radio. Jacob: Going back and listening to it though, it's still kind of impressive. The songwriting wasn’t that bad. Cale: We were good for our age. Christian: And I think once we all got laptops and recording software, that's when like the synth stuff started. Pirating software cause we couldn't afford it yet.

Cale: We actually made an EP where we mic'd the drum set with all our different rock band mics.

OTW: Will we ever see that album released?

Christian: it’s out under a different name. Cale: If you find it, you deserve to find it. Jacob: if you find it, let us know we want to hear it.

OTW: So when did the name Sports come about?

Christian: We switched cause we wanted a name that was like you said it once and knew exactly what it was.

Cale: We had like 12 names.

Jacob: Sports was the beginning of us taking it seriously. We had just written Naked All the Time and a few months before we released it, we changed names. It was like, “Ok we need to completely rebrand ourselves this will be the beginning of our career, taking it seriously and making this is our job.”

OTW: We’ve heard tale that the name Sports ironically comes from you three not being amazing at sports.l

Jacob: it is true, but that's not why we named our band Sports.

Christian: I played football up until ninth grade, but I think I just looked in the mirror and I was like, “I don't think I'm a football player. Cale: it's ironic cause my dad's been a basketball coach my whole life, and their dads are also huge sports fans. So, we’re making money with Sports. Christian: “My kids are in Sports.”

OTW: And were you parent supportive throughout the whole decision to pursue music?

Jacob: I’d consider myself pretty lucky that my parents didn’t push their agendas onto me, which is nice.

Christian: “Just get good grades and stay out of trouble.” Cale: They didn't pressure college either. I went to college for a semester, and it was my parents who were kinda like, “Hey if you don't like it, you can drop out.” And it actually empowered me to just do music.

Jacob: Luckily, none of us were crazy rebellious or anything. Looking back, I kind of wish I was a bit crazier. 

OTW: is that your biggest high school regret?

Jacob: Yeah, I should have been pranking more. It wasn't that big of a deal to get in trouble. Christian: Senior year, I started doing slightly more crazy things. In the computer lab, I would turn everything over. That's as bad as it got.

OTW: Less of a question, but I once included your song “You Are the Right One,” off your first album, Naked all the Time, on a mixtape for a girl I was seeing.

Cale: It’s a love song. I love that.

Jacob: You’re not together anymore right? OTW: Admittedly no.  Jacob: Dang, so it didn’t work. Christian: She wasn’t the right one. Jacob: Try again, keep trying. OTW: Will include it on every mixtape from here on out.

Jacob: That's actually funny that you say that because we get a lot of people saying things like that. It's a lot of couples’ song.

Jacob: In Chicago, this couple proposed right before that song. 

Cale: The lyrics I were picturing, it was this nerdy kid thinking he could get the cheerleader.

OTW: When it comes to songwriting, is a lot of the subject matter true to life or do you invent characters?

Jacob: I invented a character for the first time on one song, but it’s usually just stream-of-consciousness for me. Sometimes you don't realize the meaning of it until way later on, or like you go through something and you're like, “Oh wait that's what I was writing about subconsciously. It's kinda weird how that works. Cale’s married so most of his songs are either fictional or about his wife. 

Cale: Or girls who didn’t want to date me in high school. There was a lot.

OTW: Your latest album, Everyone's Invited -- where did the title come from?

Cale: I came up with it pretty soon after we wrapped up People Can’t Stop Chillin, and I don't remember exactly how it came to me, but it’s just like a phrase that I thought sounded like a party, sounded fun.  Jacob: This is after we went through a ton of stuff, like our manager passed away. And then slowly, that name started to make more sense. Like inviting people to be ok with going through what they're going through.

Cale: And the lyrics are a little more transparent this time, it’s a little more, “Alright, this is what I’m thinking, so you're invited to see how I’m feeling. Jacob: Be a part of the healing process. There's a lot of different things you can take from it. I feel like it fits with the times. Everyone's trying to be extra aware of everybody being comfortable and not feeling invalidated, and it's just a way to bring everyone together.  Cale: Honestly, it's kind of like this mantra I have now when I’m hanging out with people, cause there are so many people that are close to me where it’s like I have to make sure to invite everyone. I actually say it on accident all the time.

OTW: Speaking further on the album, the synth-driven nature of it has earned a fair amount of comparisons to ‘80s music. Was this a particular timeframe that inspired Everyone’s Invited?

Cale: I think we’re more obsessed with the keyboards that were made in the ‘80s than we are actual ‘80s music.

Jacob: I get it. We’re using keyboards from the 80’s, and of course, they’re going to be similar to sounds that you’ve heard before. But we aren’t actively trying to be like, “How can we make this sound more ‘80s?”  

OTW: Tell us a bit about Oklahoma, as I’m guessing a lot of people aren’t too familiar with the state.

Jacob: A lot of people are surprised by Tulsa actually. They’ll pass it and be like, “Oh it’s an actual city, there’s like actual buildings.”

Cale: Yeah, like It actually has a downtown.

Jacob: People think we live in teepees, like, no. Did you ride horses to school? No! It’s a normal suburban area where we grew up.

Jacob: I don’t know, there’s this certain kind of mystical, dark vibe to downtown. Whenever I imagine Tulsa, I imagine it at night. 

Cale: Have you ever seen The Outsiders? That’s filmed in Tulsa. So, that’s the vibe. I think it does a really good job with that.

OTW: So what’s one thing about the future of Sports that you all are personally excited about?

Christian: Releasing more music.

Jacob: I love touring; I love every process of it all honestly. Whenever we’re finished touring, I’m ready to get back in the studio and start writing. There’s a nice balance I think. I like every aspect of it.

OTW: Who are your Ones To Watch?

Jacob: Yeek is amazing. His new songs are so freaking good. He’s the best

Christian: Keith Charles. He’s going to be putting out a record

Christian: We’re actually going to be working with him when we get back from tour. He’s going to go to the studio that we record in, and we’ll just jam and see what we can come up with.

Jacob: This band, BRONCHO, from our hometown that’s about to release some stuff that’s stupid good; it's so good. Breakup, some friends of ours in Tulsa. There’s a lot of good stuff coming from Oklahoma right now actually. It’s cool.

OTW: Any final words or anything you want to say to your fans?

Christian: Thank you.

Cale: You’re invited. Thank you. See you soon.

Jacob: Thank you Ones to Watch for liking us. Your office is nice. These chairs are cozy.

Cale: They are. They’re ergonomic

Christian: They have good back support; I need to get me one of these.

[granpris]

Please listen for once.

Hello, I'm Granpris. I'm known as the current leader of Team Switched and the TS:Underswap project on Gamejolt. For several days drama has been going on on Tumblr, Gamejolt and wherever.

I'm quite sick of it having it cause me to become very ill recently and stressed, my team alike, due to the amount of false accusations and attacks directed towards me and my team.

I'm here today to debunk several popular claims and accusations that have been made towards our team, and hopefully end this mess. Please do not see this as an attack. I simply want to debunk some claims, as I’ve previously stated, and get my thoughts out there.

Before moving on to read my own post i highly recommend checking out the following posts as well for they also contain vital information and are a bit less opinionated than mine:

http://megaderping.tumblr.com/post/165903415711/regarding-the-drama-over-team-switched https://emeraldheck.tumblr.com/post/165910458062/hey-everyone-i-know-this-isnt-what-you-would https://gamejolt.com/games/undertale-underswap/160094/devlog/the-sans-dillema-jiagyb7p https://gamejolt.com/games/primus-underfell-official/249907/devlog/regarding-the-recent-team-switched-drama-mc9frvdb

- "You have/had a GoFundMe and have been scamming us for a year!"

No.

Back when the team was first founded, some members expressed wanting to put up a crowdfunding for the game, one having made a private page for it even. However, this was taken down, as it went against fangame policies. The same person later tried to get funding through Steam gifts, as receiving money directly wasn't allowed. However, none of this was ever shared with the team, and this member was booted off of the team. This project is free, and will always be free, no matter what. If we had a GoFundMe, Ko-fi, Kickstarter or anything of the sort, we would have likely been taken down ages ago, and we would have been called out for this way earlier. Long time fans can confirm we have not had any form of a crowdfunder.

- "This isn't Underswap! You're falsely advertising your game!"

Also no.

Underswap is a community owned AU now, meaning it has no set-in-stone owner and thus, everyone can do with it what they want. Not everyone has to stick with what has been introduced, and this was the case even before the original creators abandoned the AU.

The original creators had always encouraged different interpretations of the AU, even ones where personalities do not swap like with our project (As is clearly evident here). (I recommend right about now checking out Megaderping/Dorked’s post i linked earlier if you haven’t for it adds to what follows after this sentence.) 

And that's what it is! AN INTERPRETATION! I think this is something a lot of people misunderstand; it isn't meant to replace Underswap, or Blueberry, or Carrot, or anyone! This is just how we would've tackled the Underswap AU, using the base concept of characters having their roles swapped. If you don't like it, that's totally fine! If you don't like our designs, that's fine too! However, what isn't fine is making hate art, rant posts, and launching attacks and campaigns at us, all because we do not obey your every whim and make what YOU think our game should be, rather than allowing us to have the creative freedom this fandom has been given as well.

We have been very transparent about our project for well over a year now, having stated numerous times what our intentions are. We aren't doing personality swaps, we aren't going to have Sans be a sugar rushed childlike character wanting to be in the Royal Guard, nor will we have Papyrus be a lazy, honey chugging smoker, we won't have any of that. It isn't true to the characters so many of you and us fell in love with, and robs them of their character. We find it more interesting working with characters who retain their personalities in different scenarios rather than personality swapped characters who you can expect to just respond and act the same way towards situations as the character who had the role prior would have.

I find it honestly quite offensive when people tell us this is not Underswap, and that we aren't doing things how they were meant to be, when looking at Underswap's current state in hands of the fandom, that's exactly what's been done to it now. Underswap used to have a canon, and it was disrespected with people misrepresenting the AU and its characters, primarily Sans; he was made into a super smol, star eyed, sometimes if not permanently cat mouthed character with a personality nowhere close to either  Sans' or Papyrus'. There is nothing to their character besides just being and acting cute.

If you are looking at this from, let's say, a fanartist's perspective, that doesn't matter much. It's just a cute character you enjoy, right? Which is perfectly fine! However, try looking at Blueberry from the perspective of a writer, or a developer... you can not work with this. It's a flat, 1 dimensional character. They have barely any personality, and as previously stated, they're just meant to be cute. They aren't relatable or appealing at all. This is simply not something we want to work with.

I've gone on long enough here, so I'll end it off with something my co-worker and friend Kalin had to say:

We are trying to focus on making a game that tells the main story of Underswap. But let's just pretend all the unique art and music doesn't exist for a second. If we truly did it like that, we'd be telling the exact same story but all the names are switched and some objects and phrases would be switched around as well. Anything we could salvage out of that would be violating copyright of the original work, which Toby has explicitly stated before to not dis-encourage people from buying UNDERTALE, which would not only rob Toby of money, but also generally just be really disrespectful.

If you wanted Underswap to go the way it did, it would've been shut down by now.

Blueberry is only really meant to work in really short comic form or fan art. Our Sans, on the other hand, is written with more long-term stuff in mind; with the original Sans' character being placed in a different scenario, the outcome of the story can be different. Think of it like this: Would you rather have a game where you can predict everything that's going to happen, as in, Blueberry acting exactly like Papyrus, or would you rather play a game where you don't know what is going to happen?

- "One of your members used a ableist term to describe Blueberry and insult us!"

Yes, this member used an ableist term to describe Blueberry, and they are terribly sorry for it. However, he should not be the one getting hate. He showed me the message he was going to reply with containing the slur before he posted it, and I didn't point out the slur. If you have to be mad at someone, be mad at me. Do not get mad at them, and do not put my entire team in the same boat.

I, too, am sorry, for I approved the message knowing the term was used in it. It was unprofessional of me and I should have pointed it out when I could. I'm sorry for anyone offended by this.

HOWEVER.

It was never used to insult real people. The member used it to describe the current representation of Underswap or otherwise known as Blueberry Sans. No real person was meant to be targeted with the word.

- "You've been very rude to fans and have been bashing the fandom!"

Yes, this is somewhat true.

There have been occasions where some members have been kind of rude, and while I do not speak for them besides myself, we are sorry for our behaviour to some people. Working on a game for over one and a half years without any form of income and scraping for time to work on it, combined with other factors such as bad personal lives and impatient fans pushing for a demo/full release, may cause us to lash out sometimes. We're only human, after all.

As for bashing the fandom, this is also true to a degree.

Some of us, including myself, have been making several remarks towards the fandom and some of the people in it. I apologize for my part in that at least, for I can not speak for any of the others. I'm not going to try and justify my actions when it comes to this too much, but most of this originates from some things like Blueberry Sans that I've seen in the fandom and have a strong disliking towards. Yes, I apologize to the people I've possibly offended, but I shall not apologize for the bashing of any fictional AU characters and such. I am allowed an opinion on these things, and while I can be rude and extreme with this at times, which again I do apologize for to a degree, it is, nonetheless, an opinion. One of our members recently has gone a bit wild mocking several people and bothering them. I was not there when this happened as i was paying attention to our Tumblr at all times. Know, however, i do not approve what they did. I told them to stop and i hope that nothing more comes from this. I’m sorry for the long LONG post but I’ve been stressing out, throwing up, breaking down and whatnot because of this situation and needed to get my word out there. I just pray this drama can just end already because it’s not necessary at all and frankly quite petty.

[itsyaboisayori]

Why I’m questioning Sayori

I said I’d make this post so here it is! Even got on my laptop to properly do the post :p I’m just kinda winging this but I’ll try to list out everything I can. If I forget stuff I’ll go back and edit it later so if you’re curious, keep watch! I’ll reblog any time I make edits, at least somewhat big ones. 

Also, replies are welcome! I’m open to constructive criticism and anyone wanting to offer new viewpoints. I accept that I’m still learning and nothing is for sure yet. Also tbh anyone telling me I sound like I’m kin is validating as heck so if you’re thinking it then I’d appreciate you saying it ahaha, but please don’t lie to me because you think you know what I want to hear. I want the truth. I don’t want to be a confused mess ;n; And I know all/most of these could be COMPLETELY unrelated to being Sayori fictionkin, but I feel like they’re worth mentioning anyways. It’s more like, a bunch of little coincidences rather than big solid evidence, I’m aware of that and that’s a big reason why I’m questioning and not for-sure Sayorikin.

One thing I realized just a couple of days ago is how, since I was a kid I’ve had this like, ideal thing I guess? how do I put this into words lmao my brain is dumb,, I guess a fantasy, that I’d fall in love with a childhood friend, like someone I’m close with from a young age but strictly friends for a long time. I’ve always been in love with the idea of falling in love with your best friend. And of course that’s what happens to Sayori, due to her programming in DDLC. And if I’m kin with Sayori from other game(s) rather than just DDLC then it definitely could be something unrelated, just a coincidence.

I’m like, really drawn to DDLC?? Maybe just because DDLC is a great game and I love all the creepypasta type stuff behind it all, all the theories and dark shit, and also I think just as a cute dating sim it’d be great anyways (but nowhere near as great). But idk, when I saw it I immediately felt kinda drawn to it but maybe that’s just in my head or for some other reason like the characters look nice or smth.

Also it REALLY gives me feels. It makes me feel things in general. I rarely get genuinely scared from fictional stuff anymore but this game fucked me up. I’m still scared to play it on my own because, even after watching multiple youtubers play it multiple times, it still fucking scares me.

The Sayori suicide scene and her poem- especially the poem- really get to me. I saw people making hanging puns in the previous video before her death so it was kind of spoiled for me but even still, it got to me. And the scene where Sayori is freaking out because you deleted Monika before playing the game REALLY gets to me,, like I just understand that overwhelming, helpless feeling. Especially finding out why she acted that way, it’s so fucking hard to watch that scene and normally I’m not affected by this kind of stuff. So either DDLC is extremely good at psychological horror or I have some sort of connection to the scenarios, whether that be just that I’ve been through similar things and am projecting (not really that I remember though? idfk brains are weird) or ya know,,, I once lived as someone in DDLC or whatever.

(TW self harm/suicide/choking) Probably has no real correlation but when I have panic attacks/flashbacks (unrelated to DDLC I mean) I feel like I’m choking or like I can’t breathe. And when really frustrated I tend to choke myself? Sayori died from asphyxiation instead of her neck being broken, by accident because she used a stepping stool instead of something higher like a chair and jumping off. Btw I’m okay, I never actually choke myself to the point to causing permanent damage or anything, and of course I’m not saying this is like, okay or anything. I know it’s bad but I’ve done it completely on impulse, and this was all before learning DDLC even existed. I’m working on getting better and I’m not going to kill myself or anything, just thought I’d mention this.

I relate to her personality,,, so fucking much. Not just the whole pretending to be happy to make your friends happy thing, but how she is as a person besides her depression. Tbh I feel like a lot of people relate to her because of her depression and how she deals with it, but like she’s so much more than that. She pretends to be dumb but it actually pretty smart. Maybe she’s not the best with words but I think she’s a lot more intelligent than some people think. She’s so cheerful, maybe even annoying, and is kind of the class clown, and is a total weirdo sometimes but it’s GREAT and just,, same lmao. Like “looks like my boobs are getting bigger again >:D” is something I’d say lolol I just love Sayori so much, like idc if I’m kin with her or not she’s still fucking amazing.

Another reason I relate to her but probably is like not at all proof I’m Sayori or anything, just thought I’d mention anyways, but I was kinda like, really in love with my guy friend in high school for years, he’s actually kinda like MC in some ways, like he was kinda popular with girls but not like Popular(tm), super nice and couldn’t directly say no, but he knew I was in love with him (or at least knew I had a crush on him but he probably had no idea I liked him THAT much but hey neither did I for a long time lmao) and didn’t like me back and even started intentionally avoiding me. Like, he would make up an excuse to not give me a hug, like he was late for class, but hugs only take like a fucking second what the hell?? It sucked but like when the player turns down Sayori I Relate.

I just,,,,, want to hug Natsuki like she’s fucking adorable and I want to protect her the most bc she’s like a precious child and she’s obviously abused by her dad. Tbh Yuri is a little creepy and for some reason I don’t like her that much but I mean I’d still hug her. I don’t hate Monika, like it was just her programming to do all that stuff she did so I don’t blame her and she’s p cool and I’d hug her too tbh. When Sayori interacts with Natsuki it makes me feel all warm n fuzzy. Like I don’t think in my canon Sayori and Natsuki were dating or anything, I think I/Sayori am/was just really protective? Idk, thought I’d throw that out there.

I also heavily relate to wanting to be a mediator and wanting to help everyone get along and be happy. I often (try to) play that role in this life. I’m extremely empathetic, so that’s prob why, but I can’t stand when people are fighting or can’t see each other’s point of view. Though it also frustrates the FUCK out of me when people refuse to or just absolutely cannot see any point of view but their own. Maybe that’s not really a Sayori thing but ye

When I look at Sayori I get the same “that’s me!” feeling as when I see my kintypes. Who knows though, maybe in a month or two it’ll fade, we’ll see I guess. But right now it is Very Strong. Like I’ve somewhat questioned being fictionkin with other characters before but I’ve never had the “that’s me” feeling this strong with anyone else. Ruby from RWBY is a close second but I still think she’s just a kithtype.

I feel like having a past life or whatever as someone who was experimented on kinda makes sense?? Maybe I just enjoy horror a little too much but I really think if I am Sayori I’m kin with her like actual her not just the DDLC version of her. The new game hasn’t even been announced yet but I’m so excited, mostly because I feel like I want to learn more about my possible past life I guess. I wanna see if things in the second game connect with me or if it’s just DDLC. But I feel like, if I’ve had any past lives as any humans, they were probably really dark or smth. I kinda have a dark mind I guess and that would just make sense to me lmao, like I’m 21 why haven’t I grown out of my edgy phase, why the fuck am I still really into creepypasta? Damn.

I’ve been kinda obsessed with DDLC lately. I have BPD so it could totally just be a BPD obsession thing and maybe this obsession will fade and someday I won’t care too much about DDLC, only time will tell. Also I’ve had the song Your Reality stuck in my head for a week straight but it may just be a catchy song and I tend to have a song that kinda automatically starts playing in my head occasionally, usually lately it’s been Sad Machine by Porter Robinson (good song btw highly recommend)

Most likely unrelated but Sayori’s hair has been described as “strawberry blonde” on one wiki and my hair is like, light brown but reddish, though it looks more like Monika’s hair, especially because I keep my hair long. I’ve been kinda wanting to cut it but I like having long hair tbh and I feel like a lot of ppl don’t want me to cut my hair haha, though I really wanna get a short wig and maybe wear that occasionally (esp bc I’m non binary and wanna pass as more boyish sometimes, I know society will never accept me as nb bleh but anyways). Though, it’s been said that the reason her hair is short is because it’s easier for her to deal with, but I’m not 100% sure if that’s canon. Though I guess it doesn’t matter much? cuz multiverse stuff n all but, still.

Speaking of her appearance, she seems to not care too much about how she looks, which I relate to haha, especially because of depression n stuff. I mean I have Crippling Social Anxiety(tm) so I do care to an extent but usually I’m like, if someone likes me they’ll like me for who I am not how I look anyways. I don’t feel the need to dress super proper to impress anyone in casual social situations, like making friends or even going on dates (though I’ve only been on a real date like a few times and they were with my gf who I’d already been dating online for a while). And yeah a big reason she’s so careless about her appearance is depression but I think if I wasn’t depressed and she wasn’t depressed we’d still both have that mentality like, we don’t need to impress anyone with our appearance so it’s better to just dress how you want, whatever way makes you feel comfortable and happy with yourself and your body, than focus on being proper and stuff.

Maybe I’m just projecting but man I feel like a lot of stuff I do and my ways of thinking and stuff are very Sayori(tm). I feel like I am so much like her, like she’s so me. Though of course, maybe my reason for being kin with her is purely psychological. Maybe I “became” her after seeing DDLC. Maybe I am her because I relate to her so much. But again, only time will tell. If I still feel like I identify as her (which, currently, I most definitely do) in a couple of months or so, then I guess I’ll start calling myself fictionkin. Idk.

[hollywayblog]

2017 or How To Be A Depressed Piece of Shit and Still Get Stuff Done

I’ve been putting this off. Partly because I’ve accomplished so much this year I just know I’m going to forget to include many of those accomplishments in this post. But mostly because this year has been fucking hard. It’s impossible to look back on all my achievements without also feeling how lost, angry, lonely, confused, betrayed, anxious, depressed, bereaved etc. I was while conquering these goals.

I could go into the nitty gritties of it all, but this isn’t a self-pitying post. This post exists because no one – including me – gave enough of a shit when I actually did these things, which I did while grieving, while battling mental illness, while trying to be a good person, while living in a situation that does everything it possibly can to deter productivity. And fuck, man, I am choosing now to fucking appreciate myself and all the amazing things I did this year. Things I only ever dreamed of doing in some distant someday.

I am also making this to provide a little bit of motivation for anyone who is in the same position I was in a year ago – thinking “I would love to actually make a living as an artist but I’m too scared to share my work.” Well, here are a few tips for you, including:

1.       Don’t be a fucking idiot. If you’re too afraid to share your work you will never get recognised. You will never get feedback. You will never get better. There is no magical time where you’re going to feel 100% ready. Sit down, work on something you care about until it’s done to your standards – or as close as it’s ever gonna get – and choose someone to share it with. Bonus points if it’s someone you know will be honest with you.

2.       Whatever your craft is, practice every day. If you’re a writer you must write every day, even if it’s just keeping a journal. Practice does not make perfect and it would be boring if it did. Practice simply ensures that every day you’re alive you are getting better. Besides, the consistency with which you work makes the difference between a professional and a hobbyist. Decide which one you really wanna be.

3.       Support other artists. Subscribe to Patreons. Watch people’s YouTube ads. Like and reblog/retweet. Share the things you love – and make sure you include the source. I’m going to write a whole article about this, but what goes around comes around. DO NOT expect people to support you if you’re living in your own little bubble not making an effort to support anyone else. (But also don’t expect the people you support to give your energy back to you. You can’t control other people. Support because you genuinely want to and not on an unspoken quid pro quo basis.)

4.       Make sure you take time to study your craft. This is different from practicing. For example, as a writer and future director I watch many film analyses, and when I watch TV and film or read a book my brain is always combing through the details. If you’re a painter, for example, take trips to the museum and study – actually study – paintings. You should also switch off sometimes and just exist. Just feel life, textures, colours. Breathe. You cannot be outputting content all the time. But with that said…

5.       Work motherfucking hard. There’s a terrible saying, “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” It’s utter bullshit. Most people who are passionate about their career work harder, longer and with more mental awareness than almost anyone. Caring about the thing you’re working on is fucking exhausting, and if you’re not prepared to work hard then see above; you may be a hobbyist and not a professional. That is perfectly fine. In fact I wish I had the luck to be able to continue writing in that capacity, where it is just a fun personal project and not a succubus consuming my life. But alas.

6.       Deadlines can help with projects, but don’t put time constraints on your success – whatever that is to you. Even working harder than anyone has ever worked will not grant you instant gratification. I have been a serious, working writer for almost a year and I am not earning a living AT ALL. That is not unusual. I have laid the foundation for my career, and that ain’t nothing, but that’s something I have to remind myself every day. These things take time. And with this in mind...

7.       The work must be the reward. I’ll say it louder for the people in the back: THE WORK MUST BE THE REWARD. Probably a lot of this is to do with my mental illness, but when I first held Crying on My Birthday – my book of poems – I felt… nothing. Same when I finished National Novel Writing Month. Same when I finished the first draft of my first novel. Same when I finished the first draft of my second novel. Same 90% of times people tell me they couldn’t stop reading my stories. I acknowledge those things on a logical level, but they don’t warm me. But you know what did feel like something? Cultivating those works. Writing those poems, getting to know those characters, those moments when the story just opens up to you and tells you where it’s going. I also feel a certain satisfaction when I reread my own work after a long time; a kind of, “Oh. I wrote that?” The point is that just like New Year’s and Christmas, the big moments rarely feel like they should. If you hate the process of writing, don’t be a writer. As challenging as it is, I love writing. It’s one of the only times when my mind is focused on only one thing and not an exhausting swirl of every problem ever posed to mankind. And hey, maybe one day I’ll reach a milestone that feels significant, but to be honest I doubt it. In general I suck at feeling what I’m supposed to. The. Work. Must. Be. The. Reward.

So where did these principles actually get me in 2017? In just under twelve months, here’s what I made happen:

-          Conceptualised, wrote, edited, formatted and published an anthology of poems all within three weeks.

-          Completed National Novel Writing Month (50,000 words of a novel in the month of November) then proceeded to complete the almost 80,000 word first draft by mid-December.

-          Finished the in-depth episode outline of the television series I’m writing with my sister.

-          Edited and formatted my sister’s novel.

-          Got published in HighGloss Magazine, became a regular contributor of articles and poetry.

-          Joined a writing group, met other writers, published an anthology together which featured my short story.

-          Began to edit the charity anthology I’m publishing. (Still accepting submissions.)

-          Got offered a job as a copywriter. (Stay tuned.)

-          Wrote my first ever short story which I entered in a competition (didn’t win, whatever).

-          Wrote two more short stories.

-          Wrote a thriller novella which I published on Wattpad on a chapter-per-week basis.

-          Wrote, edited and published several poems online. I won’t go into how much each one of them means to me and how much courage it took to share them.

-          Wrote a poem for my friend Sarah, still one of my favourite things I’ve ever written.

-          Wrote a piece of fiction for my friend Hayley.

-          Hosted the “1KADAY” challenge, which went on to become the online writing group I run.

-          Created my first short film.

-          Took up film photography, something I am so ridiculously in love with.

-          Returned to/fell back in love with the gym after so many years of letting my anxiety get in the way.

-          Read twenty novels, probably a quarter of which became some of my all-time favourites.

-          Vastly improved my French.

-          Curated some bomb playlists that people loved.

-          Drove again for the first time in years, got closer to getting my license.

-          Read my poems out loud to people I care about.

-          Learned several songs on my shitty keyboard, learned to play badly and sing without shame.

-          Wrote a tonne of lyrics.

-          Somewhat maintained this blog. Somewhat.

-          Got up the guts to make a Patreon.

-          Helped others with their writing whenever I got the chance.

-          Made art that helped people. Made art that helped me.

-          Never gave up.

-          Proved to myself what an unstoppable badass I am. Like seriously what the fuck I’m amazing.

-          Survived this fucking year.

P.S. I won’t be making a 2018 goals blog. I realised that what I achieved in 2017 differed so greatly from (and far excelled) what I intended to do that there was no real point projecting into the next twelve months what might happen. I find it much more productive to sit down at the start of each month and week and get my priorities straight.

[kpopfanfictrash]

99 and Marlowe

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jongin

Genre: Soulmates!AU (kWritersNet May Prompt) + Angst 

Prompt: “You can’t eat solids, only liquids until Thursday.”

Rating: PG-13 

Word Count: 4,158

*Marlowe578 has entered the chat room* [10:24 PM]

Marlowe578: hey 99, you there? [10:26 PM]

Marlowe578: just watched West World and thought it was complete crap [10:28 PM]

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has entered the chat room* [10:28 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I shouldn’t be surprised by this. I know you hate everything, but I let myself hope. [10:29 PM]

Marlowe578: I refuse to be lectured by a child. It was just so impractical… If the robots were that terrifying, why didn’t they just burn them or destroy them? [10:30 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: See, this is what’s wrong with you old folk. Thinking you know everything. Nothing is new. Tell me, Marlowe – have you ever seen a robot? [10:32 PM]

Marlowe578: I’ve seen Christopher Walken, that’s pretty damn close [10:33 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: lol [10:33 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: There was nothing you liked about it??? [10:34 PM]

Jongin sits back, almost smiling in the light of his computer screen. 99 is young, that much is obvious by her ellipses and hyperbole. Everything is new, fresh and intense with her. Maybe that’s why Jongin enjoys her company. He knows 99 is a she from a slip-up she made once, accidentally sending him her grocery list instead of a novel attachment. Jongin opened it and nearly choked – tampons and avocados being the first and second items on that list.

If he doubted 99 was a female before, he didn’t then. You were, of course apologetic. Sending cringe emojis and memes until Jongin finally typed STOP in all capitals. That did it – rarely did Jongin express emotion outside of bored amusement, so when he did people tended to listen.

These days though, if Jongin delves into anything deeper than antipathy it’s near impossible to escape.

Jongin sets his fingers against the keyboard.

Marlowe578: The special effects of West World were cool [10:36 PM)

99problemsBUTaSni…: Wow, hopeless [10:36 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Is that all you wanted to say? Message me and shit on my favorite TV show? [10:37 PM]

Marlowe578: hey, you’ve shat on plenty of my favorite things in the past [10:38 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Name one!!! [10:38 PM]

Marlowe578: Tesla, Schubert, Oscar Wilde, Proust… [10:39 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I said one [10:40 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Also, only pretentious people like Proust [10:41 PM]

Marlowe578: why hello, pot. Calling the kettle black. [10:41 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: hahaha Okay, I apologize. You gave me one suggestion that I love, so I thank you [10:42 PM]

Marlowe578: you’re welcome for your introduction to higher culture [10:43 PM]

Jongin sits back, tapping his fingers against his wooden desk he’s had since 1982. He met 99 on accident when he entered the wrong chat room. Jongin was rather disgruntled at finding himself knee-deep in some Young Adult vampire teen novel and didn’t fail to make his displeasure known. As soon as he did though, 99 appeared.

Jongin was called a snob, a nitwit and a newt amongst other things that night. Most of her insults left him gaping, staring open-mouthed at his screen. The creativity of 99 was astounding, as was the speed with which she typed. Her words flowed like water, the sudden barrage of insults made all the more impressive by her fault-free grammar. Jongin actually laughed, the first time in a long time such a thing had happened and that was the beginning of his and 99’s friendship.

Sometime after that Jongin ended up telling her about the movie his URL was based on. Only Lovers Left Alive, a vampire movie released a few years back which still gave Jongin chills every time he watched it. His URL was an ode to a side character, Christopher Marlowe. In the film Marlowe is a vampire who writes most of Shakespeare’s plays in the sixteenth century.

Marlowe578.

The Marlowe part comes from the movie, 578 being the year in which Jongin was born.

It’s not unheard of, living for multiple centuries. Fifteen centuries, though – Jongin sighs. He’s an anomaly. Maybe it’s why he relates so much to that vampire movie. 99 is typing, Jongin watches her ellipses blink as he stretches his arms overhead. The noise of the city drifts through his open window, the only sound helping him sleep at night.

Jongin can’t relax without the background noise, without distractions that don’t require actual participation. It’s why he continues to lose himself in his worlds – in fiction, science, anything that’s not real life. It was a long time ago Jongin stopped caring for the real world. The real world hasn’t really worked out all that well for him.

Soulmate. The concept is intriguing, if somewhat unrelatable to Jongin at the moment. The idea of one person you’re destined for, another human who completes you. In a world with 7.3 billion people though, what’s the chance you’ll find that person during your lifetime?

Jongin imagines those odds would be slim, if it weren’t for the freezing. The freezing is the point where people age until twenty-ish and then just… stop. Halting their decay until meeting their other half. Once they find them, their soulmate – they start to age again. Slowly. Together. Jongin has searched for this person for 1,439 years. Frozen with this face, this body until his soulmate is found.

It seems like a long time, if he stops to think about it. It’s at the point though, where the passage of time has dulled any fear or sadness Jongin feels about his existence.

The saddest part of eternity is having to spend it alone. His parents, sister, friends – they’re all gone. Jongin watched them meet their soulmates. Watched them grow old, have families and eventually die. With each death, he felt the uncertain chasm inside him widen.

99 is young still.

99problemsBUTaSni…: I watched Only Lovers Left Alive again [10:44 PM]

Jongin sits up to respond.

Marlowe578: It’s one of my favorite things to introduce others to a thing that they love [10:45 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Is that what you do for a living? Professional hobby-finder? You might want to start with Trump. He seems bored, trolling Twitter and whatnot [10:46 PM]

Marlowe578: sigh. 99, I was trying to enjoy my evening. Now I’m over here thinking about a pumpkin tyrant [10:48 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: LOL sorry. So, did you leave the house today? [10:49 PM]

Jongin glares at his screen, hands falling off his keyboard. 99 knows his age, knows how antipathetic he is towards the world and seems to take certain pleasure in teasing him. Not in a mean way, 99 is never mean. She isn’t malicious even when she’s calling him a sniveling, cowardly nincompoop. She’ll say all this and apologize moments later saying she doesn’t know what came over her and really hopes you have a nice day.

99 enjoys pushing Jongin’s buttons. Loves finding his triggers and making him angry, happy, sad. Her pushing has led Jongin to do some rather stupid things over the past year. Bungee jumping, line dancing, going to the circus. All of which Jongin was instructed to report back following. That’s how long he’s been talking to 99 for now – just over a year.

Marlowe578: I left the house. Went to the park, stared at a few squirrels and wondered how it’s possible they haven’t evolved in over 1,000 years [10:51 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: But why would they need to? They’ve got us humans feeding them, extending their species [10:52 PM]

Marlowe578: true. The park was too sunny. I squinted at various children and ended up going home [10:53 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: It must be so strange to see you in person, since you’re an actual grandpa trapped in the body of a young adult. Does Hollywood know about you? [10:55 PM]

Marlowe578: we can’t all be a few years past our freeze date, still confident that the world will do right by us [10:56 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: : (  [10:56 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: She’s out there, Marlowe. I know she is. [10:57 PM]

Jongin shuts his eyes. Keeping them closed until there’s another ping from his computer.

99problemsBUTaSni…: If she never shows though, at least you’ll have me [10:58 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: an actual bundle of sunshine! [10:58 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: the queen of quips! [10:59 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: the gatherer of geniality! [10:59 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: the minister of magic! No, wait that’s different [11:00 PM]

Marlowe578: let me know when you’re done [11:00 PM]

Marlowe578: … jester of joviality [11:01 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Omg a JOKE? A JOKE! THIS, FROM THE MONARCH OF MONOTONE [11:02 PM]

Marlowe578: I don’t want to admit I’m laughing, but I am [11:03 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Good! Haha okay Marlowe, got to go – sleep is calling. Tell me the new thing you do tomorrow, k? [11:05 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: night! [11:05 PM]

Marlowe578: night [11:06 PM]

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has exited the chat room* [11:07 PM]

Marlowe578: sweet dreams [11:09 PM]

Jongin stares blankly at the page. Quickly, he shuts his laptop.

His bedroom is dark and he rubs his eyes, staring out the window at the concrete beyond. 99 isn’t real, she’s just a fantasy. An online persona, a portion of human that’s not whole. They might be friends, they might be friendly – but definitely no more than that.

99 wouldn’t think of Jongin in that way, anyways. She’s still in that phase of her life where everything is new, everything is exciting. Where possibility lies around every corner and the idea of her soulmate is still somewhere far in the future. A hypothetical concept, rather than tangible.

Jongin stands, stripping his t-shirt to toss this in a corner. His pants quickly follow, leaving him naked but for his boxers. As Jongin collapses on his bed, he stares up at the ceiling. Planning methodically for what he’ll do tomorrow.

Breakfast, sure. Eggs or maybe toast. He’ll work from home since Jongin is a computer engineer, one who takes government projects when he feels like it – mainly whenever he’s bored. It’s not like Jongin needs the money at this point, it’s more that he doesn’t like being idle. Jongin made his fortune early on. It’s not too difficult to do, given enough time and real estate. Jongin just likes working, likes something to do with his time that’s not thinking about the one thing he doesn’t have.

Jongin falls asleep slowly, the hum of his computer mingling with the street outside. Drifting over in waves until softly, he’s pulled under.

Jongin’s computer pings first the next night.

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has entered the chat room* [10:50 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe, are you up? [10:51 PM]

*Marlowe578 has entered the chat room* [10:53 PM]

Marlowe578: good evening [10:54 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe… sigh. Today was absolute shit. [10:55 PM]

Jongin blinks at his cursor. This is unusual. Normally it’s 99 who consoles him, not the other way around. Slowly, he lowers his hands.

Marlowe578: what happened? [10:56 PM]

99 starts to type, then stops. Jongin pictures her erasing. Lowering her head in frustration before typing again.

99problemsBUTaSni…: My boyfriend broke up with me. [10:59 PM]

Jongin falls back in his seat. Ah. There it is, the answer to the question he didn’t even know how to ask. 99 is taken – or she was. It appears she’s now single, very much so. Bending forward, Jongin types back.

Marlowe578: he’s an idiot [11:00 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: He’s actually very intelligent. He went to a prestigious university, scored highly in standardized testing. [11:02 PM]

Marlowe578: an intelligent, emotionally stunted idiot [11:04 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: haha [11:04 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I guess I knew this was coming. We’ve been dating for over a year and … no fireworks. No spark, no buzz, no zap. Aren’t you supposed to feel a zap when you meet your soulmate? [11:06 PM]

Marlowe578: you make it sound like a bug spray [11:06 PM]

Jongin stares at the screen for a while longer before he types again.

Marlowe578: my sister said it felt like sunshine. She was in the shade, beneath a giant elm tree when her skin… she said it glowed. Glowed, when she met him. [11:08 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: You have a sister? [11:09 PM]

Marlowe578: *had [11:10 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Oh, fuck. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. This whole thing just … I’m sorry. My problems are unimportant, compared to that [11:13 PM]

A smile crosses Jongin’s lips.

Marlowe578: don’t be sorry. It’s not often I get to talk about her. She’s been gone a long time now [11:14 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I’m still sorry [11:15 PM]

Marlowe578: stop. Tell me what happened [11:16 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Well. He wasn’t my soulmate. I never felt that glow, I guess. But I still cared… He didn’t seem to think caring was enough [11:18 PM]

Jongin’s fingers curl into fists and he very slowly releases them. It’s infuriating anyone would hurt 99. She gives so much of herself – gives so easily and without judgement. Jongin wishes he could be like that. It’s not just the passage of time that’s made him this way – even when he was young, he was scared to be alive.

Scared of going outside his comfort zone, in case he was rejected. The idea of someone hurting 99 for being what Jongin never could be, makes him furious.

Marlowe578: he’s stupid if he thinks the love of soulmates is the only love that matters. All love is important, not just his [11:20 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Believe it or not, you just made me feel better J [11:22 PM]

Marlowe578: good. [11:23 PM]

Jongin settles back to stare at his screen. He’s about to say more when she responds.

99problemsBUTaSni…: Do you ever get scared? Scared your soulmate has already come and gone and somehow you missed them [11:25 PM]

Jongin can’t quite breathe. Without realizing it, 99 has hit upon the exact fear which keeps him up at night. What if his soulmate has already happened? What if they were already born, in the middle of living when they met their end. Though their bodies freeze around twenty, humans are still susceptible to harm.

Death by gunshot, stabbing, drowning, hanging. Anything could have happened to his soulmate – sweeping them from his life before they even entered. Leaving Jongin to be faced with an endless existence until his body disintegrates into the sun. He’ll never know that connection, never find the peace he craves. Somewhat shakily, Jongin types.

Marlowe578: Every day, 99. Every day I’m scared. [11:28 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Well. At least I’m not alone, then [11:29 PM]

Marlowe578: As long as I’m here, 99. You’ll never be alone [11:30 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Same. [11:31 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I’m going to go to sleep, Marlowe… I’m exhausted. [11:32 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Thank you [11:32 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: For being here [11:32 PM]

Marlowe578: you’re welcome. [11:33 PM]

Marlowe578: goodnight [11:34 PM]

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has exited the chat room* [11:35 PM]

The next day, Jongin leaves his apartment. Maybe it’s 99’s influence, maybe it’s something else entirely. For whatever the reason, he decides to eat lunch outside. There’s a deli 99 told him about he’s been meaning to try. The problem has always been that they’re only open at lunchtime and don’t deliver – so it means Jongin would be forced to go in person.

When he steps out on the sidewalk, he squints uneasily into the sun before catching himself. He should at least try to be present. Walking through the city is disorienting. It’s crowded and noisy, two things Jongin greatly dislikes. If it weren’t for background noise, he would have left long ago.

The hustle and bustle flows around him, easing Jongin into the tide of people. He allows himself to be carried, pulled along by this wave of humanity. The deli is a few blocks away and Jongin manages to arrive relatively unscathed. Unscathed but for one, rather unsettling incident which occurs when he’s nearing the building.

It’s one block away when he feels it. The day is sunny, so for a second Jongin thinks he’s stepped from the shade. Thinks his jacket is too heavy but then – the oddest sensation passes over him. A light tingling starting at the base of his neck before wrapping around his chest, wrapping around his torso. It spirals down his arms, caressing his fingertips as Jongin’s gaze snaps up.

There’s so many people though – too many to see through and Jongin stumbles, gaze darting every which way. Though he moves fast, pushed on by the bustling crowd, the tingling begins to fade away. Soon it’s nothing and outside the sandwich shop Jongin comes to a halt. It’s been so long. Hundreds and hundreds of years and now that the moment is here, Jongin can barely think.

After a few minutes of standing there wild-eyed, he becomes aware he’s garnering attention. Slowly Jongin ducks into the deli, head buzzing as he steps up to the counter. He ends up ordering the completely wrong sandwich. It’s impossible to think, given the situation. Impossible to sit here in this small shop and eat so Jongin ends up taking his sandwich with him. Walking dazedly back to his apartment as he struggles with the nausea in his body.

What if he just lost his soulmate for good?

No – straightening his shoulders, Jongin takes a deep breath. This is good, this is a good thing. Jongin’s soulmate exists. They exist, they’re here and they’re in this city. Excitement growing, Jongin slowly – for the first time in years – allows himself a bubble of hope.

Later that night, his computer pings.

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has entered the chat room* [10:05PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe!!!!!!!! [10:06 PM]

*Marlowe578 has entered the chat room* [10:07 PM]

Marlowe578: your apartment had better be on fire [10:07 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: What, why? [10:08 PM]

Marlowe578: only a fire can warrant eight exclamation points [10:09 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: har-dee-har. If my apartment were on fire, why would I be chatting you about it? [10:10 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Anyways, I digress. Marlowe, something weird happened today [10:11 PM]

Marlowe578: what happened? [10:12 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Okay I’m going to sound crazy but… I think I passed my soulmate [10:13 PM]

Jongin can’t breathe. Can’t do anything but stare at the screen. His room is suddenly too small, too claustrophobic and for a solid minute he stares.

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe? [10:14 PM]      

99problemsBUTaSni…: Okay, I’m just going to tell you anyways. I was going to get coffee and this amazing warmth came over me… this tingling. I was warm and I was tingling and before you even make a joke no, I didn’t need to pee [10:16PM]

Slowly, Jongin exhales. 99 was going to get coffee. 99 passed her soulmate on her way to get coffee. There’s no way it could have been Jongin, since Jongin didn’t even leave his apartment before lunch. Slowly, he lowers his fingers to type. Jongin’s head feels heavy, his thoughts numb and for some reason he’s disappointed.

Marlowe578: did you see his face? wow, 99 [10:17 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Your enthusiasm astounds me. LOL no, I didn’t see his face. Just, you know – *the feeling* I think I’ll stake out the place tomorrow. See if he shows up [10:18 PM]

Marlowe578: you should do that [ 10:19 PM]

Jongin looks suddenly away from his screen. As he stares out the window he wonders why he’s feeling so upset by this. He hasn’t been upset by something in a long time and besides, he also encountered his soulmate today. Jongin also passed his soulmate and should feel excited by this. He should want to tell 99 all it, instead of worrying about the fact that 99 might very soon be leaving him.

Jongin turns back to his screen.

Marlowe578: 99, I’m tired. I’m going to sleep but we’ll talk tomorrow, ok? [10:21 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Oh. Yeah, sorry! Sleep well [10:22 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe, wait [10:23 PM]

*Marlowe578 has exited the chat room* [10:23 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe…. what if you aren’t sure you want to meet your soulmate? [10:23 PM]

When Jongin wakes, he doesn’t let himself to think about his conversation with 99. Instead he showers, repeating his daily routine and quietly redirecting his thoughts every time they stray to 99. Today she’ll find her soulmate. Today she’ll leave him and Jongin will be alone. He might as well get used to that fact.

Around lunchtime, Jongin decides to walk towards the deli. If he’s going to be alone for the rest of his life, he might as well be alone with someone else. The thought makes him wince. This is depressing. His soulmate is a soulmate for a reason. They’re meant for him, he’s meant for them. The thought makes his stomach sink though, worry growing heavier with each step.

When Jongin enters the deli, he pulls the rim of his baseball cap lower. Staring at the other customers while trying to appear as though he’s not. He orders an iced coffee, taking a seat towards the back and watching people enter from the street. Nothing happens though, no pulse racing or no tingle and eventually Jongin opens his laptop.

The words of the café surround him as Jongin starts to relax.

“So, I told her that he was crazy. Four weeks is way too long to change a pillowcase.”

“No, love. You can’t eat solids, only liquids until Thursday.”

“When I get home, okay? We can talk about this when I get home.”

He’s on page 254 of his book, halfway through chapter 25 when he hears the bell ding.

Heat blazes up his neck.

Jongin looks up, startled to make eye contact with the loveliest pair of eyes he’s ever seen. Slowly, the door falls shut behind you. The heat from his neck wraps his body, burning Jongin from the inside out. This isn’t just a tingle. His sister was wrong – this is a blaze, an inferno, a moment that swallows him whole.

You appear similarly entranced, staring at him with such sincerity that for a moment, Jongin doesn’t know where to look. That’s when the door opens behind you, smacking you upside the head and making you stumble. Jongin shoots upwards, forgetting his laptop entirely as he rushes across the room.

He comes to a stop before you, one hand on your elbow to steady you. The blaze has faded to a dull heat, pulsing through his body as you take a step closer. “Hi,” Jongin breathes, staring at you.

“Hi,” you say.

Jongin smiles. Your voice is warm, full of laughter and he can’t help but grin. “I’m Jongin,” he says.

“Y/N,” you respond, glancing over his shoulder. “Are you in the habit of leaving your expensive electronics out in the open?”

Jongin nearly laughs, raising an eyebrow instead. “Not usually, no.” He turns towards his table, looking back over his shoulder to see you follow. “I, uh.” He glances down at the floor. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Me either,” you confess, taking a seat before him. “Jongin,” you repeat, nodding once. “I like it. You know it’s odd,” you say as you survey his face. His deep, brown eyes. Sharp jaw and cheekbones. Soft, full lips. “I felt it yesterday when you passed me.”

Jongin’s lips lift. “I felt it too,” he murmurs, oddly shy for some reason.

“I didn’t want to meet you,” you add, watching his eyes widen.

“Oh?” Jongin seems surprised by this. “Why not?”

“I was just in a relationship,” you say, picking a spot on your jeans. “My boyfriend broke up with me two days ago. He said we weren’t soulmates and were wasting each others’ time. There’s also, well.” Here you pause, flushing when you look downwards. “There’s this guy. We’ve been talking online for about a year, discussing vampires and whatnot and I really thought I wanted to meet him.”

Jongin can’t move.

The room fades to black, then back into view around him. He scans you slowly, taking in your voice, noting your mannerisms. He looks at you again, seeing the Harry Potter keychain dangling from your wallet. It’s shaped like a snitch. Heart beating strangely fast, Jongin wonders if this is a moment of brilliance or insanity.

It can’t be you.

Slowly, he leans forward. “Did you… happen to get coffee yesterday afternoon?” he asks, your brow crinkling in confusion.

“I – uh, yes?”

Taking off his hat, Jongin sets this on the table beside him. He feels as though he’s going to be sick, feels delirious because – oh, you’re smiling again. “I just want to say,” he says, his voice low. “That boyfriend of yours is an idiot.”

Across from him in your tiny red chair, you stop moving.

Gaze lifting from your lap to his face while your expression shifts from confusion to something else entirely. “I,” you start to say, then stop. Your hand drifts to your mouth as you stare across the table. “He’s actually very intelligent,” you whisper.

Jongin’s smile widens, reaching to take your hand in his. Where he touches, there’s light. Sparks, fire - zip, zap, zop.

“99?” he asks softly.

Nodding, you lower your other hand to his. “Marlowe?”

“Jongin.”

kWritersNet May Prompt Event (soulmates!AU) + [3,000 Followers Drabble Game Master List]

[imaginemycroftholmes]

Name: Rachel

Age (note that if you are under the age of consent your score will be significantly lower for Marriage, Friendship and Partnership): 27

Gender: F

Occupation: Teacher

Nationality: Caucasian

Country of origin: US

Personality type (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator): ISTJ

Education: Bachelor’s Degree

Marital Status (if not applicable put N/A): N/A

Number of children (if not applicable put N/A): N/A

Who would you shoot out of John, Sherlock, Mycroft and why:  John.  He’s been shot at before, knows what to expect, knows how to handle wounds and trauma.  He is also very good in high pressure situations.

Height: 5’2”

Position in the family (oldest, youngest, middle): Youngest (by a minute I’m a twin! :P )

Best subject: English

Favorite Subject: English/Music

Worst subject: Biology

Last song listened to: Emperor’s New Clothes by Panic at the Disco

Favorite color: Purple

Thoughts on Molly and Sherlock’s impending relationship: Good luck.  I hope she has the patience of a saint.  Though I have a feeling she will keep his butt in line! 

Illness/allergies/impairments: Seasonal allergies, eczema

Last sentence uttered to another living human being: Could you please help me?  I can’t reach.

Hair color/length: Collar bone length; orange and red

Who do you feel more sympathy for Sgt. Donovan or Anderson’s wife: Anderson’s wife.  Not only did she have to go through the cheating, she also had to go through the downward spiral that was Anderson after Sherlock “died.”

Eye color: Hazel

Constantly cold, hot or prefect: Cold

Seven Noteworthy skills (ex: can play an instrument, fire most guns, ride a unicycle, etc.): Classically trained musician (Opera, piano, ukulele, guitar), can pick locks, can change a tire, handy with tools, organizational master, good at memorization, and good at negotiating/deescalating situations

Nine noticeable sins: (ex: moody, bad listener, selfish, etc.): Perfectionist, overthinking, moody, anxiety, terrible sweet tooth, self-deprecating, frequent shopper, pessimism, and sarcastic

Languages known/spoken: English, some Spanish, Does music note reading count as a language (it should! :P)

Cats, dogs, both or other: Dogs, allergic to cats L

How often you help your community (1 never, 2 sometimes when prompted, 3 average, 4 often, 5 weekly): 4

Favorite Holmes family member: Mycroft

Body type (1 obese, 2 overweight, 3 averages, 4 fit, 5 skinny): 2

Number of past lovers (put N/A if virgin or not seeking marriage): N/A

Level of cleanliness (5 slobs, 4 messy, 3 average, 2 pretty clean and 1 spotless): 2

Would you rather piss off Sherlock or Mycroft: Sherlock.  To really piss Mycroft off…may God have mercy on your soul

Rate your mental health on a scale of 1-5 with one being terrible and 5 being fine: 3-4

Rate your confidence on a scale of 1-5 with 1 being poor and 5 being Sherlock levels: 3

Combat level (1 sitting duck, 2 somewhat okay, 3 can hold their own, 4 pretty damn good, 5 a proficient fighter): 3

Circle of friends: 2-3

Who do you side with more Sherlock or Mycroft: Probably Mycroft.  Sherlock throws himself into insane situations, many times without a lot of planning. 

Level of intelligence on a scale of 1-5: 4-5

Who do you side with more Mycroft or Mrs. Hudson: Mrs. Hudson.  She sees things that he simply cannot because she thinks in a different way than he does.

Introvert or Extrovert: Introvert

Political alignment: Left

Who would your rather be trapped in a long car ride with Mummy Holmes or Holmes Senior: Holmes Senior

Go to outfit for everyday: T shirt and jeans when I’m not at work, casual dress and flats when I’m at work

Go to outfit to impress: A-Line cocktail dress, nice heels, curled hair, smart makeup with a bold lip

5 hobbies (not to be confused with noteworthy skills): Singing, crocheting, writing, reading, and playing room escape games lol

Opinion of Rosie Watson and Mary Watson: Rosie is the most precious child to ever grace this Earth and Mary Watson was a loving wife and mother

Favorite music/book/movies: Music: folk, rock, oldies  Book: murder mystery Movies: Action/Comedy/Science Fiction/Classics

How well you take rejection on a scale from 1-5: 3

Religious or religious affliations: None

Kids or no (note this is wanting them not the ability to have them): Maybe?  Not sure.

Out of the Holmes family (Siger, Violet, Sherlock and Eurus) who would you kill, maim, kiss or roommate with and why:

Kill: Eurus—Any other option would leave her a danger to herself and others Maim: Violet—Her mind would still be intact and Siger would still be able to take care of her Kiss: Siger—Wouldn’t make it awkward, and dealing with his family he deserves a peck on the cheek :P Roommate: Sherlock—he seems like as annoying as he might be as a roommate, he could be very handy and useful in certain situations

Do you think what Mycroft did with Eurus (at the time) was justified and needed: I believe that Eurus was and is still a threat to herself and others.  She is extremely mentally unstable and needs constant surveillance, which any kind of civilian service would not be able to provide for her.  While she seems to be happier now, I don’t believe she will ever be allowed to be released into the public.  I think, which the decision is extremely tough, and will impact the lives of those around her, that the decision is both justified and needed.

Please bold the following that you wish to have with Mr. Holmes:

Friendship

Partnership

Marriage

Mentorship

=======================================================================

There are 10 sets of 10 coins. You know how much the coins should weigh. You know all the coins in one set of ten are exactly a hundredth of an ounce off, making the entire set of ten coins a tenth of an ounce off. You also know that all the other coins weight the correct amount. You are allowed to use an extremely accurate digital weighing machine only once. How do you determine which set of 10 coins is faulty?

I think what you have to do is take one coin from the first set, two from the second set, three from the third set, going all the way up to ten.  When you weigh them, you will know which set is the one with different weight by how many hundredths the weight is off by, e.g. if the weight is off by five hundredths of an ounce, you will know that it was the fifth set that had the irregular coins.

Bruce is an inmate at a large prison, and like most of the other prisoners, he smokes cigarettes. During his time in the prison, Bruce finds that if he has 3 cigarette butts, he can cram them together and turn them into 1 full cigarette. Whenever he smokes a cigarette, it turns into a cigarette butt. One day, Bruce is in his cell talking to one of his cellmates, Steve. “I really want to smoke 5 cigarettes today, but all I have are these 10 cigarette butts,” Bruce tells Steve. “I’m not sure that will be enough.” “Why don’t you borrow some of Tom’s cigarette butts?” asks Steve, pointing over to a small pile of cigarette butts on the bed of their third cellmate, Tom, who is out for the day on a community service project. “I can’t,” Bruce says. “Tom always counts exactly how many cigarette butts are in his pile, and he’d probably kill me if he noticed that I had taken any.” However, after thinking for a while, Bruce figures out a way that he can smoke 5 cigarettes without angering Tom. What is his plan? 

If you take 1 of Tom’s cigarette butts, on the 5th cigarette you will be left with a butt to put back into Tom’s pile (See drawing)

What is the true origins of a fortune cookie?—Okay this may be wrong.  But don’t they originate in the US…I think in California.  

Answered correctly: 2/3

Mycroft’s answer:

Dearest Rachel,

It is nice to find your submission gracing my hands once again as finding educators is a very herculean task with the increasing demand needed in the colonies. Although I am not a religious man myself I pray that your career receives the needed assistance and respect that it deserves considering the amount of work most teaches put into their craft for the sake of the students and on a grander scale; the future of civilized society.  It almost takes a person worthy of sainthood in order to find people that are willing to teach with such a large dagger hanging precariously over their heads should they fail to meet state standards but to those that stay or choose that journey I salute them.

While I find it a bit disconcerting that you would hold favor with Mrs. Hudson over me when pitted against one another I can see why the choice would be made should we be too similar in nature however, with political aliment I have no doubts we would see differently enough not to need Mrs. Hudson’s interference in order for us to butt heads metaphorically on a subject. I find no surprise that most are choosing to maim mummy and kill Eurus but am colored surprised when people would actively share a space with Sherlock even after the whole debacle with Mary. Sherlock is not an easy person to room with and I say that as both his brother and former co inhabitant from when he was detoxing, then again rooming with my father would also be rather strange so the question tells me a lot about the person when the choose between the four.

I do agree however that reading sheet music should constitute for a form of language as few outside of musicians themselves can read it. I know in the beginning Sherlock had some trouble learning it unlike Eurus who took to it faster than anyone could anticipate. In fact I would dare say that Eurus was only ‘playing dumb’ in order to get Sherlock to play with her. I appreciate that you would choose to piss off my baby brother as you would indeed be correct that crossing me would be...detrimental to any persons social, financial, and mental well-being but rest assured I am not prone to overly emotional outbursts and dramatic plots at revenge unlike some people in the Holmes family I could name.

Moving forward I would find it interesting to talk more about this over coffee but sans the sweets (I’m on a diet currently and Sherlock has taken to texting me ‘Hey fatty’ almost every hour on the hour until I lose a stone) but I predict that such a exception won’t put you off too much correct?

See you at precisely at 2:54. My assistant will text you the location and details.

-M     

Friendship: 8.79/10

Partnership: 9.1/10

Marriage: 7.99/10

Mentorship: 10/10

[canaryatlaw]

Well today was overall fine, accomplished enough I suppose and nothing went too terrible. Woke up around 1:30 (bless) which was glorious, ate some cocoa krispies (note: whenever I say I ate breakfast on one of these posts it means I ate cocoa krispies. I always eat cocoa krispies) then got ready and took my little cart thing out and hopped on a bus to make a target trip. There's no route directly there, so I either have to walk a bit east then hop on a bus a bit south, or hop on a bus a bit south and then walk a bit east, lol, and I did the second today. I needed to make the target trip because this week I was actually out of sodastream gas canisters, which are actually what powers my life so I had to get the refills of those, along with a few other random items like, mouthwash. Of course I raided their dollar section (that is really their $3 section at this point, but oh well) and couldn't help but buy like 3 candles and more string lights for my room cuz they're cheap and cute and I don't care, lol. Did some basic food shopping, what I'll need for dinner tonight and the next week or so, and heavy cream if I ever get around to making caramels like I want to at some point. Wandered around the store a bit after that, spent a solid 10 minutes contemplating their underwear selection and trying to decide if I wanted to try something other than the exact brand size and style I've been wearing for like, ten years because everything else rides up and makes me uncomfortable, and ended up deciding to just go with it (for the record, I have tried other stuff over the years, and been unhappy with them). I looked through their pajama selection and really wanted this cute summery set of a gryffindor tank and shorts but it was 98% polyester so there goes that idea. They had a few other things but nothing all that great. I did dare venture over to the clothing section for a few minutes, and got a cute tank top and a pair of sporty leggings that I'm hoping will stay on better while I'm working out (I've noticed lately, mainly when I'm like, in the middle of working out, that whatever sweatpants I'm wearing have a tendency to fall down) then finally headed to check out. Walked a bit back and then had to wait for way too long for the bus but I didn't want another half hour of walk, so I waited. Got home around 5, put my stuff away and started working on the project for about two hours. I was working on perfecting the mission and vision statement as well as working on the portion about future plans for the org. That was hard because like, I want to turn in this plan for this nationwide org with community centers everywhere but like, this is a plan we're making to start a nonprofit lol, not an idea for an already established one, so I had to do some rewriting of my original concept and then think of things to add to the future developments beyond more community centers in different cities. Then I worked on a smaller portion about my experience and how it makes me equipped for the job, which put me just at 11 pages, so not bad. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm gonna handle the actual presentation, cuz like there's very specific parameters set out in the paper for what there needs to be in it, but the presentation is just based on the paper, it doesn't say what exactly, and he's said several times he doesn't want us just reading from a paper, but also saying he doesn't care about PowerPoints or stuff like that- just that we're familiar enough with the material to talk about it confidently and not need to read straight from our notes. So I may make a presentation cheat sheet of major points at some point tomorrow that could be helpful. Basically the presentation is supposed to be us pitching the idea of the nonprofit to potential finders, for them to decide if they would want to fund us or not. I think I have a good amount of info about programs and such set up, I need to do the more technical elements of setting up a board of directors and everything, and actually figure out a budget (which I probably won't include in the presentation but will need for the paper, and God am I not looking forward to doing that) and other tying up factors. But I think I'm in a good spot and I should be able to pull everything together tomorrow for my presentation Monday. At 7 I stopped because I wanted to make dinner. I've been having this issue lately where I'll make my big meal on the weekend but then not want to eat it during the week for whatever reason and end up throwing most of it out which I really had doing, so I thought I'd try to do something I know is good and that I'll want to eat, so I did this cheesy chicken broccoli and rice thing that's fairly easy to make and also tastes way better than you would expect it to lol so hopefully that will do the trick for during the week. After I finished cooking I sat down on my couch to watch some tv, and found out training day had started about 5 minutes prior (it was like, 8:05 at this point). I never keep track of when my shows actually air, so sometimes I'll turn on my tv and find out one of them is actually on). So I caught up on that pretty quickly and watched it. Somewhat of a meh episode for me, not that I didn't like the plot because I did, I think I just missed Katrina Law's character because she was in like, one scene. But that was fine. I didn't have anything else recorded so I went back over to 24:Legacy which I ended up watching for the rest of the night and finishing, and I have to say, by the last 3 episodes I was all in on this in true 24 fashion, finally feeling it like I did with the original show and oh, how I've missed that feeling. It took a while to get there obviously, but it was worth it because those episodes were fantastic. Spoilers ahead, obviously, but I was sad they did end up killing Rebecca, though that much should've been obvious once Sims or whatever his name was did his little speech about after this she would be like a war criminal. But I was sad because I gained so much respect for her character over those episodes, like what a fucking BADASS she is to take on a hostage negotiation like that and just totally call their bluff when he life was on the line, like holy crap she was just killing it. I loved it when her and Eric just went rogue, that finally felt very 24, with its rogue agents receiving unofficial support from CTU. Even Keith (I learned his name and have stopped calling him zoom guy!!!) was pretty awesome in the end of definitely did his part, something not always true for past CTU directors. Of course there was massive incompetence in letting terrorist #1 escape, but that was clearly just because they needed it for the plot, not that it would actually happen like that. I have to talk about the ending with the girl and Eric and Tony though. TONY. My bby. First of all, hearing him utter the words "I have to help CTU" made my little fangirl heart so happy because even after all of this he was going to help them and it just ahhhh <3. With the showdown at the house I was just like, yelling the whole time STOP FIGHTING YOURE FRIENDS YOU JUST DONT KNOW IT so I was pleased when that basically happened lol and of course Tony was like uh yeah of course go take the kid and save Rebecca. This girl though, and Eric protecting her, broke my fucking heart. Like yes, I know, this is all fictional. But that poor little girl. She was so little, so entirely innocent, and treated so horribly by the government that it was abominable. Seeing Eric being so gentle and kind to her was perfect, and that scene where they're waiting for the helicopter and she's telling him about the names of the flowers and the trees had me in like, tears just out of the sheer preciousness of the scene, like, holy crap, it was such a poignant and well done moment that stood out so well from all the violence and terrorism going on around it. I very much enjoyed that, and of course seeing that the girl was in fact safe. They obviously set themselves up for a second season, but I still of course protest to having a 12 episode season of a show called 24 when the entire damn concept is it happens over 24 hours, lol. Also, I freaked out when they time jumped the last 15 minutes because HEY, THAT IS SO AGAINST THE RULES. YOU MADE THE RULES, AND THERE ARENT THAT MANY OF THEM, BUT YOU JUST BROKE A MAJOR RULE AND THATS NOT COOL, MAN. Lol. I'm not sure what to think about John and what he's gonna do now, but it would be interesting to see him as president next season (though tbh I'll just be sad Rebecca isn't there with him because she's just such a badass character I can't help but miss her). But yeah, clearly I had feelings about all of that haha as you can see from all I just ranted. But yeah, I finished that and started getting ready for bed and now it's late and I should go to sleep, so I'm gonna do that now. Church in the morning, then we'll see. Goodnight friends. I hope you sleep well.

[nora-reads-homestuck]

Nora Reads HS Part 68

Pages 6154-6184

Hey guys! Some quick background on why I’ve been a little scarce: I’ve mentioned a personal project that’s been eating into my free time, and that is... dun dun dun, a custom 5e D&D campaign I’m running IRL! The campaign is just starting, so I’m in the phase where I’m planning out a lot of details and building locations, etc. What that means is that sometimes I’ll need to take little breaks from liveblogging to work on the game, and other times, I’ll put D&D to the side to focus on liveblogging! I haven’t disappeared or anything like that, and once the campaign really gets going, my need to take short breaks should ease off. No need to worry! I am here and ready to find out what’s up with this robot bunny that young Bro has built Jane. *Seinfeld music* Does the auto responder have a connection to it the way he has a connection to the brobot? Does it fight with Jane? Is it... touchy feely?

Let’s... find out. Eurgh.

*click*

Poor poppop's severed head got nicked by the FIREPLACE POKER.

OH SHIT. I’m so accustomed to seeing damaged eyes that it didn’t really register the first time I looked at this panel. Is this Hussie teasing us with the idea of a Poppopsprite? Because I would be PERFECTLY OK with that eventuality. Circumstantial simultaneity.

Also, damn, check out all those Astaires.

Jane: Put head back.

You stick the poker down his neck hole and jam the head back on the spike as a temporary measure. That looks somewhat more respectable you guess.

THE PERFECT CRIME.

Looks like the troublemaker's father is calling.

That choice of language is weird and it’s skeeving me out. I DUN LIKE IT. On the other hand, yay, more kidchat! Or... robokid chat?

KID SIGHTING. And... well, he looks exactly as expected. He appears to be standing on the roof of his building, surrounded by... fucking... are those doves?

TT: Why have you activated dear, sweet Huggy Bear. TT: Are you in danger?

...I... it’s gotta be Snoop Dogg Huggy Bear, right?

TT: I disabled the AR for now. GG: Ok. Just making sure! GG: Jake was having some issues with it earlier, and I don't think he received its obfuscating tendencies in the humorous spirit intended. TT: Yes, I'm catching up with the situation now. GG: Oh, so you're talking to Jake then? TT: Nah. Just reading their chat logs.

Why does this seem weird and intrusive if the ‘AR’ is basically fucking him? (Haa haa.)

TT: Its demeanor leaves something desired though. I'd prefer it didn't make such aggressive and repeated claims of fidelity to my persona. TT: Be misrepresentin' hells of key subtleties, yo.

‘Subtleties’. Sure.

TT: Jake needs to be more skeptical. Rather than take a Pollyanna jackknife ass-first off whatever turnip truck is blowing through town that day, he's got to apply more critical reasoning to shit. TT: I keep telling him. TT: I keep telling him, dude, you got to be more like Jane. GG: These lectures I presume are roughly similar in complexion to those I'm familiar with? GG: Those wherein I have, and I quote, "got to be more like Jake?" TT: Yes, exactly. TT: You're finally fucking getting it. GG: I sincerely doubt that I am! TT: Said the stubborn skeptic, skeptically. GG: Let's not talk about my "issues" again, shalln't we?

Alright then. Young Bro is apparently trope savvy, so let’s see what tropes we can apply to him, so far. A: a fair few.

TT: Shalln't? TT: That ain't a thing to say, even for you. GG: Shush! GG: The word shalln't escape my vocabulary any longer, just as you SHALLN'T nitpick my language! That's my turf you're on, buster. TT: Alright. Kinda don't care.

WOW, what a jackass.

GG: What were you saying? TT: About what? Jake?

Careful, Strider, your crush is showing.

GG: About leaving the responder on! TT: Yeah. TT: Anyway, I kind of owe it to him to let the program run as often as possible. GG: Jake? TT: No. TT: The responder.

AHAHAHAHA. Yeah, this is going to get mined for drama later, isn’t it? Normally I’d be fucking allergic to the idea of a teen love n-gon, having experienced enough of them in YA fiction to make me sick, but then, this is Hussie. It’ll be amusing if nothing else.

(IF LITTLELONDE IS THE ONE TO END UP WITH JAKE I WILL SHIT. I might actually ship it??)

TT: It is a fully cognitive, self-aware entity I am responsible for, not even to mention an approximate cerebral duplicate of myself. TT: You don't just make a clone of yourself to live in a dead end existence where it has no chance to thrive as an individual or surpass its limitations. TT: That'd be sick.

That’s a charitable view to have toward an AI, and I’m going to remember this moment in case he reneges on his words later.

TT: Also. TT: The more the software runs, the broader and more detailed its experiential canopy becomes. Makes for a better dialogic partner. GG: Dialogic? GG: Are you saying you have conversations with your own auto-responder? TT: Of course. TT: Why do you think I made the thing? GG: Hrm, that's interesting. GG: I guess I always thought it was just a really elaborate gag! TT: It's that too.

Let me guess; the gag lies in the enormity of the narcissism involved in valuing yourself as the best possible dialogic partner, and is somehow tied up in ‘the ironies’.

God, what an insufferable prick. I think I would like him better if he were charming. Rose, for example, can get away with quite a lot by virtue of her rapier wit. What’s interesting to me, though, is that the most intelligent character in any work of fiction can only be as intelligent as the author. Rose and Doc Scratch were conduits for Hussie to show off his sense of humor and sesquipedalian loquaciousness, but Bro might be his chance to show off his raw intellect.

OH MY GOD JANE, YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. <3 And what the hell is the rabbit doing?

GG: Sometimes your sense of humor seems more impenetrably advanced than your robotics. I'll never understand this tapestry of irony you weave.

Replace ‘honor’ with ‘irony’.

GG: Maybe I'm just stuck in the dark ages of pranksterism with my funny mustaches corny old joke book. TT: Yes, you are. But that's fine. TT: We come from different traditions. Someone needs to keep that racist southern asshole's legacy alive.

WOW SUCK MY DICK. How can you even be mean to Jane.

TT: There's dignity in taking up the work of our familial predecessors, even if what they did was insanely fucking stupid.

So... adult!Dave is still all about irony post-Scratch, and Bro claims to have gotten his shtick from him, instead of the other way around, but... he thinks Dave’s work was stupid?? This is infuriatingly circular.

GG: Is that a note of bitterness directed at your superstar brother I am detecting?

I AM SO HERE FOR FAMOUS DAVE, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.

TT: No way. He's awesome. TT: I've told you, I don't begrudge any of his success. TT: I've also told you he isn't my real bro even though I call him that. We're related through an esoteric process of genetic reamalgamation. GG: Oh lordy. Yes, yes, I know. I don't need another ironic lesson in science fiction!

Wow, yet another Sburb process the post-Scratch kids are inexplicably aware of. Does Bro know the actual nature of their relationship? Because that’s got to be weird and squicky in a Freaky Friday parent-kidswap kind of way. Maybe... Did Dave tell him all this stuff about the game, and Rose told LittleLonde, and that’s why Jane is still in the dark? Because Dad wasn’t a player???

IT ALL MAKES SENSE! :D

If Dave and Rose remember the game and their other lives, that would explain the continued existence of SBaHJ without adult!Bro’s awful comics to inspire him! And maybe they were the ones to encourage this troll friendship the Scratch kids have got going on! It would seem to run counter to the previous example we have in the troll ancestors, who didn’t recall game details after their Scratch, but it’s not exactly a game-breaking retcon to have the humans remember.

I still wonder why Jade would make all that Lord English-themed stuff, if she knew he was an evil motherfucker, but ah well. At least we know why she was so adamant about engaging “”Betty Crocker”” in corporate warfare!

TT: The point is, obviously his satirical methods have flaws, and whatever tempered brand of hero worship I might be practicing isn't keeping me from seeing that.

WHATEVER, HE LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU.

...LITERALLY.

GG: Flaws?? Talk about understatement. Those movies are unwatchable. GG: Unless your name is Jake English.

AHAHAHA.

TT: Yes, spectacularly so. But they will have profound historical significance. Mark my words.

Consider them marked. And knowing Hussie, it’ll be played for drama just as much as laughs.

TT: And flaws aside, it's a legacy I'm proud to inherit. My duty isn't to appropriate his methods with absolute loyalty, but to apply reason and improve upon them. To leave my own mark. TT: To perfect the art of irony.

UGH. Improve upon his methods by “”applying reason”’, as if, had Dave only been just a little bit smarter, just a bit more logical, he’d have told better jokes?? Bro’s one of those “let me play devil’s advocate, if I may” douchebags, isn’t he. He should’ve had a fedora on his shirt.

...OH MY GOD HE HAS THE KATANA TOO, IT’S PERFECT.

TT: It's just like what you're doing with the work of your ancestor. You are striving to perfect his hokey vaudeville bullshit, or something. TT: You seek the Zen of a pie to the face. The Tao of falling the fuck down.

Alright, that one’s actually funny.

TT: Can't fool me. You take your shit as serious as I do. TT: And if I wasn't serious about it, I wouldn't have made you that rabbit. Then where the hell would you be?

Still literally homestuck, if with an intact grandfather-son. But you don’t gotta be a fuckin’ prick about it.

Whoa, they’re not doves, they’re seagulls! Not unheard of, that close to Galveston. Also, the sky is lovely and blue. I would expect the post-Scratch Earth to be more of a crapsack world, a la post-Scratch Alternia, so this is interesting. Maybe it’s just because it’s Fall?

GG: Well, aside from thousands of dollars in corpse-repair richer, I can't say.

Ahahaha. Fuckin’ tell ‘im, Jane.

TT: Has he been sleeping in the old man hollow again? Shit, that's adorable. GG: I can think of cuter places for him to sleep, frankly! TT: Yeah, bullshit. TT: He's just being instinctive. In the wild, he would gut a carcass and sleep inside for warmth, as well as to secure tactical advantage for ambushing would-be scavengers. GG: Oh, please.

UGHH I AM QUICKLY APPROACHING MY LIMIT FOR DOUCHERY.

On a side node, what is the internal temperature of a tauntaun?

(What do you mean, an African or a European tauntaun?)

GG: Anyway, property damage and desecration to cherished elders aside, Mr. Bear has been a lovely addition to the family. TT: You haven't renamed him yet? GG: Oh... no. GG: I keep forgetting I'm supposed to! TT: You've got to fucking rename him. Or change him to a girl if you want. That was important. TT: When pets change owners they get new names. Fact. GG: Sorry.

Ok not only is that patently untrue, but I swear to god if this asshat keeps being rude to Jane, I will TURN THIS FUCKING COMIC AROUND.

GG: I will name him right now! GG: How about Lil' Sebastian? TT: Fuck if that isn't the best name a thing could get. GG: Yeah!!!

HALF MAST IS TOO HIGH.

GG: So then, are you saying Mr. Sebastian here was an ironic present? GG: Relayed strictly for guffaws?? >:B TT: Yes, but it's not that simple. There were many layers involved. TT: Some of them are literal layers, of metal and plush. GG: Huh? TT: There's a real stuffed rabbit beneath its exoskeleton. GG: What! Really? :O TT: Yeah. TT: It belonged to my bro. GG: I thought you said you didn't have such an heirloom to complete the plushie trifecta? TT: I didn't. He didn't give it to me, and never intended to bequeath it. TT: I stole it.

Huh. So, like Dave’s gift to John in the pre-Scratch universe is the “original” bunny, having at that point taken no trips through time, so the bunny inside Lil’ Sebastian is the post-Scratch universe’s original. Why did adult!Dave have it in his possession? He didn’t give it... to... 

Oh. Con Air came out in 1997, and John died in 1995. So he bought it and kept it as a keepsake, in memory of his departed friend, only to have Bro steal it. For a good cause, yeah, but still. :’(

GG: Ooh. Risky! TT: Nah. I got a little help from RL and ganked it out of his museum. TT: It's this whole "priceless" collection of stupid shit from movies, defended like Fort Knox. Ironically of course.

PROBABLY NOT IRONICALLY, YOU JACKANAPES.

GG: So it's from a movie? TT: Ever hear of Con Air? GG: Nope. GG: Wait... GG: Wasn't that some bit of action schlock from the 90's? TT: Yes. GG: Some of the silly nonsense referenced in his work was well before my time. I don't have the wherewithal to investigate all this minutia. TT: Yeah, it doesn't matter really. But it was from that. Dude weirdly obsessed over that shit movie for years, among others.

Awww, noooo, he's sad about John!! D:

GG: That does sound a tad obsessive. Wasn't he furious about your burglary? TT: Pretty sure he didn't even notice. In years since, I never saw a news story about a "daring heist" or anything. I feel like he would have made some hay outta that. TT: And if he did know, he'd probably just want to give me a stoic fist bump or something. 

Maybe, but probably not for the reason you think.

TT: Like I said, there are layers. TT: On one level, I gave you a filthy tattered piece of shit, albeit of tremendous cultural significance, manhandled by some old B movie actors, now candy coated to function as a highly practical defender droid for your personal protection. TT: On another level, I needed to incorporate something passable as a real heirloom. TT: For sentimental reasons. GG: D'awwwww. GG: Wait, real sentiment, or ironic sentiment? GG: Or is there no difference?? Am I missing the point here? TT: No, it was genuine.

So he’s not completely without a heart, even if it is, to quote him directly, a filthy tattered piece of shit.

TT: The upper echelons of irony should always include measures of sincerity. And if the satirical practice is executed faithfully it will achieve something bona fide in its own right regardless. TT: Through an intense commitment bordering on religious devotion to the absolutely inane, absurd, or plain fucking stupid, a very different kind of sincerity begins to materialize. One of reverence to the ridiculous. You begin to "mean it," but what exactly it is you mean is never quite what appears on the surface, and is utterly inaccessible to obtuse and literal minds. That you "mean it" then becomes inseparable from the joke, and additional rich strata of humor may be stripped aggressively from this irreconcilable truth.

I’m torn. On the one hand, I want to reach through my monitor and punch this kid in the face. On the other, even I can recognize that this is basically Andrew Hussie sock-puppeting his own ironic ideals. It’s just somehow more insufferable when Bro says it.

GG: I have so much to learn. And I am not even saying that "ironically!" GG: Will you teach me your ways one day, sir? Perhaps an apprenticeship will open? TT: Oh god, I'd love that. TT: Consider the position yours for the taking any time. Feel free to approach and kneel before Cal. With my sword and his floppy mitten, you will receive my flashstep anointment shoulder to shoulder, and to shoulder again.

UUUGHHHH. His head’s stuck up his own ass, but at the very least, he does seem to be sincere about enjoying teaching people things.

JESUS RABBIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING. If it’s really got a mind of its own, then it’s like a hyper-competent dog with a sword. If you don’t walk it or play with it enough, it starts destroying things. LIKE SOMEONE I KNOW. *stares down the dog*

GG: Lil' Seb is beginning to act out, and I must put his fidgetiness to constructive use!

‘Fidgitiness’, that’s putting it politely.

TT: Cool. TT: Jane, one more thing. TT: I'm sure you must be aware by now that you'll be the leader of our group, as you will be the first to enter the session. GG: Um, no? GG: This is news to me. I never gathered that "team leader" was a thing for this game. TT: Trust me. It's a thing.

Hmm. Frankly, it’s a little surprising to me that Bro would both know about the leader position, and willingly give it up. He seems like the kind of person who would want to be calling the shots, if for no other reason that he’s SOOO SMAAAART.

GG: Are you sure? I have my doubts. GG: I believe as a group we will have the temerity to succeed, without my having to order people around like an insufferable bossypants. TT: That's why you're our leader, Jane. GG: Hm? TT: Optimism through stalwart skepticism is an affect not everyone is plucky enough to be graced with. GG: That's stupid! TT: Yeah yeah. I know. TT: You're not our leader, you're our FRIEND, right? GG: Precisely! GG: There is a BIG difference! TT: And statements like that are also why you're our leader.

Whoa, whoa. So like... Bro and LittleLonde have certainly been privy to a lot of things they have no business knowing, which I’m still assuming was imparted to them by their troll friend or by Dave and Rose. But either that’s just an extremely coincidental call back to that exact conversation between Rose and John, or... Or I don’t know. It’s probably just him knowing her really well, and her being a lot like John and Bro being a lot like Rose. B...Brose?

TT: But only in name and in spirit. Less so, functionally. TT: If it puts your mind at ease, I'll be the one pulling the strings here.

Oh. Oh, wow. Never mind. You know what? I hope it all backfires spectacularly, so that the pre-Scratch kids can swoop in and save the day, while Bro looks on in stupefied wonder.

They wait, bitches.

GG: Oh yes? GG: Then this whole affair will be one of D. Strider's grand productions in puppetry?

Alright, so his name starts with D. Not all that many 4-letter male D names. Dean, Doug, Drew (ahaha), Dale, Dane, Dirk, Dion, Dann, Dill... Dick...

Also, ‘grand productions in puppetry’ makes me want to punch (and judy) something.

TT: I will be the unseen hand whose nimble digits are behind every subtle twitch in our session's bulbous foam ass. TT: At least those gyrations not happening by the volition of its own quivering absorbant proboscis. TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word. TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss.

Well, that’s... sweet? I guess he’s saying he’s got good intentions, but still, I can see this (and am sort of rooting for it) to backfire horribly.

TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself. TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war. TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say. TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family. TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere. TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there. TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time. TT: Yeah.

I hate to use the same gif twice in one post, but...

GG: These lessons we talked about... GG: They've already begun, haven't they? :o TT: Jane, soon you'll believe what I've told you. TT: You'll believe it all. TT: It's just a shame that believing will take something so coarse as seeing, for a girl as sharp as you.

How biblical. What all exactly is he talking about? Game stuff? Betty Crocker stuff?

TT: Critical thought can lead one to accept the unlikely, just as much as dismiss the impossible. TT: I can help with this too. Would you like me to program a Jane Crocker responder for you? TT: I only require a simple captcha of your brain.

Alright, Doctor Fuckin’ Jekyll; let me just get right on that.

Wait, doesn’t DAVE have a captcha of his own brain? ...Oh no. Also, that means the auto responder isn’t n% indistinguishable from Bro just because it was programmed to be; it’s literally a copy of his brain. That’s kind of disturbing.

GG: Holy moly! GG: Um, thank you, but no. GG: I'm not ready to get dialogic with my cyberself just yet. My friends keep me busy enough as it is.

YES, JANE, THIS IS A GOOD ATTITUDE TO HAVE. KEEP IT UP.

GG: Speaking of which, I really need to go. I know you love to talk my ear off, and it's always a treat,

Pahahahaha.

but let's catch up later after the game starts, ok? GG: And if I do need your help, I promise I'll take you up on your offer! TT: I made several. Which one? GG: The one where you, hopefully not literally, offered to catch me in the crevice of a great big squishy butt! Hoo hoo hoo!

I fucking love this kid. She’s a little more assertive than John so far, though she’s also less mean-spirited. What will it be like when they meet? Can’t wait to find out! :D

Jane: Command Sebastian to lift fridge.

You order dear, sweet Lil' Sebastian to put his fidgetiness to constructive use. He is eager to assist, and lifts the appliance with ease.

Y’know, I was about to say something like, ‘how the hell is that tiny little robot supposed to lift the’ but then he did it. Welp. that certainly makes for a convenient escape route! After all this trouble Dad went through to keep Jane inside, she’s not going to get, like... sniped or something, is she?

He finds a note taped underneath the fridge. It seems to be addressed to you.

UGH I want to hate this bunny because Bro made it, but it is SO CUTE.

Fat chance, dad. This bird's gotta fly!!!

Jane, come ON, you’re courting danger now.

Never would have seen that one coming. (Jane, I’m about to throw a fridge through your wall.)

I like to imagine that the water pressure from the hose was at blasting power just before this panel, and drooped along with Dad’s confusion.

Jane: Throw down your hat in disgust.

Here it comes...

Wait for it...

You've been climbing your echeladder very gradually for various minor accomplishments here and there since you were 13. That was such a sweet textbook HAT POF, it earned you just enough to clear the next rung, FEDORAFLEDGLING. Nice going!

Huh, now this is a more interesting panel than you might think. First off, the mostly irrelevant details: Jane’s hat has what looks like a flag or a tag on it, instead of a feather, and her boondollar total is inching closer to 111,111,111 (damn, she’s rich). Now for the real meaty stuff.

The lowest level we can see on the echeladder, which, since the scrollbar is at the bottom, we can pretty safely assume to be the actual lowest level, is ‘Baby Ectobotananna’. This one took me a second to figure out, but then I realize it’s a combination of John’s ‘ectoBiologist’ and Jade’s ‘gardenGnostic’ via ‘botany’, and then ‘Nanna’.

Batterlass represents the obvious; she’s the heir to BCCorp, next in line after the Batterwitch.

‘Overbite Restart’, ha ha. John had ‘Overbite Upstart’.

‘Snorkbait Sporkplu’g, I have no idea, other than that it’s a call back to John’s ‘Sharkbait Sparkplug’.

‘Bespectacled Skeptic’ reflects what Bro was telling her, that she’s gotta believe more.

‘Haberdasher’s Daughter’, because Dad and hats.

‘Britches Healer’ connects back to the earlier rung ‘Britches Ripper’, and is either a reference to her being the Maid of Life, or else she just sews things a lot?

‘Sodajerk’s Confidante’ took a little digging, but it seems to be a Problem Sleuth reference.

‘Maid in the Shade’... this one’s interesting. It’s already lit up like she’s achieved the rung, and I wonder what prompted it. My first thought just looking at the name of it would be that she’d have to visit the Land of Wind and Shade, but obviously that has not happened. ...Unless she mysteriously achieved the rung shortly after her 13th birthday, when Nannasprite “”concurrently”” appeared in LOWAS.

‘Mourning Starlet’ is also a mystery. I get the pun, but who or what was she mourning? Her freedom? Poppop was long since dead, and her Dad is still alive.

The next rung up from the current ‘FedoraFledgling’ is ‘Heiress Sans Parent’ (a reference to John’s ‘Heir Transparent’), and if that isn’t leading, then... then... THEN I’LL THROW DOWN MY HAT! *levels up* Sadly, it looks like this Dad’s going to bite it too. T_T

And that’s all I’ve got for now!

The well traveled HAT shares in your glorious spoils. The battle-hardened accessory reaches dizzying new heights, leapfrogging from the DOUCHEBAG'S DOMESUCKER rung, to the rare, highly coveted MARTYR'S PISSCRADLE rung.

This is because FedoraFreak tried to use his hat to strain his piss, isn’t it. Did we ever find out what happened to ol’ FF? Did he go god tier?

How can these things be so fast on land???

JESUS.

...Now, wait a second. Gamzee never spent much time with his lusus because it was always out at sea, and I assumed that was because it couldn’t come on land. But if it could, and it just didn’t want to...

Oh no, it's a hostile swarm of those little fairy bulls! They are probably pissed off about the one you killed earlier. They have come for revenge!

Maybe the tinkerbulls and the goatdad will fight each other, allowing Jake to escape! Or... maybe the goatdad will follow in Gamzee’s footsteps and get all weirdly attracted to the tinkerbulls, and the tinkerbulls will get all shy and moe. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

OH MY GOD THE HUMANITY. HOW THEY EXACT THEIR POUND OF FLESH. OH GOD NO OH GOD OH GOD OH GOOOAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.

AHAHAHA, I love it.

> [S] ==>

Oh? Oho? What is this? *click*

...

This might just be the singular most beautiful moment in all of Homestuck. This is it. This is everything I’ve been waiting for. Everything I have ever wanted.

Nearby, someone or something bleats like a goat for strategic purposes. And also

Ironic purposes.

I can die happy now. Seriously, what was that, like, 3000 pages later?

Jane: Run.

The jig is so totally up. Nothing left to do but scurry your little legs to that box, snatch the mail and scram!

Ooh, are we going to get a strife? :D

God dammit, I love Dad so much. That his reaction to WORLD SHATTERING SHIT is just a mild ‘?’ and moving on just makes my fucking day.

Gasp!! He seems to be concerned about Jane being outside most of all! She’s totally gonna get sniped, isn’t she.

> [S] Jane: Get mail.

Wow, or that. I’m assuming Hussie’s pulling the whole ‘OH LOOK JOHN’S HOUSE EXPLODED, SURELY HE COULDN’T HAVE SURVIVED THAT’ thing again, but still, yikes. Poor Dad. :(

Also, if that ‘HOMESTUCK’ logo in the sky is an actual physical object like the words floating around Prospit and Derse are, can people see it? Does it spook the U.S. government? Have people been on manned missions to the Homestuck instead of the moon?

END OF ACT 6 ACT 1.

And that’s the end of this Act Act! (I think. I’m not gonna click that arrow just yet.) I know it makes for a short post, but I said I’d divide things up this way so that I didn’t get overwhelmed making an EOA reaction post for what is essentially half the comic, so there you have it! If you’d like, you can send me fanworks up through A6A1, though I warn you I’m still not done looking at all the stuff that got sent to me for A5A2.

Next up, Reactions, and then Act 6 Intermission 1! Or... maybe the other way around, if the Intermission deserves being included with A6A1′s impressions? We’ll see.

Until next time! ^0^

[shenanigumi]

20 Questions Tag Meme

I was tagged by @lanaya-lavellan​! Putting it up here first, since this blog was the one that got tagged.

1. How tall are you? 5 feet 4.5 inches at last count.

2. What color and style is your hair? Brown, except it’s the kind of brown that can’t really make up its mind—streaks of lighter and darker, sometimes bits of gold, mostly almost copper. It’s wavy and kinda bushy and falls past my waist at this point, so I should really have my mom trim the ends. It gets in the way all the time, but literally the only thing I know how to “do” with my hair is put it up in a ponytail. A low ponytail. I can’t even do the high ones like Chizuru’s got.

3. What color are your eyes? Boring brown. But I like to think it’s kind of a nice brown. A clear, chocolate brown. Not the dull brown I’ve seen in other people.

4. Do you wear glasses? Yeah, have for the past 15 years. When I was six, my mom took me to the San Jose Opera production of Die Zauberflöte and we found out I couldn’t see the subtitles without binoculars, so we hooked me up with glasses as soon as possible after that. My eyesight has been getting steadily worse ever since. Literally everything farther than 3-4 inches from my eyes is blurry without my glasses.

5. Do you wear braces? *shudders* Please don’t ask about my teeth. I had braces for a year and a half, from sixth to eighth grade. Apart from that, I’ve technically had retainers since second grade, but it’s been literal years since I’ve worn them and now my teeth are subtly starting to shift again so all my suffering may have been for naught ughhhh

6. What is your fashion sense? You say “fashion sense” like I have any kind of sense for fashion. Alas, I do not. Most often it’s a.) 1 of about 5 pairs of almost identical skinny jeans, each of which I wear repeatedly until obviously dirty; b.) whatever t-shirts are clean; c.) an extra layer of some sort if the weather calls for it, typically a zipper hoodie; and d.) boots or sandals. I have exactly one functional belt, and though I own multiple pairs of shoes, I wear exactly one pair of boots and two or three identical pairs of sandals to death. I do adore dresses and skirts, but they’re so much effort I hardly ever get/take the opportunity to wear them.

7. Do you have any siblings? No, thank gods.

8. What kind of student were/are you? The kind that was above average when she was a kid, so she developed expectations of natural aptitude—the kind that panics whenever she gets a C or lower on any given assignment due to a phobia of disappointing her parents—the kind that started struggling to do her assignments because of the weight of her own unrealistically high standards—and the kind that learned to really, genuinely hate school because of it, yet still feels obligated to participate. Don’t even talk to me about school, seriously. I'm strung out so tight I’ll snap if you touch me.

9. What is your favorite subject? I really do hate school. I don’t even like my past Creative Writing classes, for gods’ sakes (blame the teachers I’ve had). I’m okay with my small press editing class because my classmates are chill and one of them legit runs the class, but like, I literally don’t have a favorite subject. Unless you count my independent study on Bakumatsu Japan, because that’s fucking awesome.

10. Favorite TV shows? I don’t watch TV alone, but I’ll watch some things my family puts on, like certain dumb game shows or Project Runway whenever it’s in season. I also sometimes get hooked on Law & Order (especially Criminal Intent), even if I usually can’t watch the first several minutes due to general squeamishness. Oh, and if RWBY counts, I guess I like that too, although my enthusiasm has waned somewhat as the series progresses.

11. Favorite books? Sorry, but for all my love of writing, college has totally ruined my appetite for reading, as well as my ability to read for pleasure. I can’t even remember the last book I read all the way through, let alone ones I actually like. I suppose the longtime favorites that have stood the test of time include The Thirteen Clocks by James Thurber and A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. I also seem to remember liking the Pippi Longstocking series by Astrid Lindgren.

12. Favorite pastime? Writing, first and foremost (and, more prominently, bouncing ideas around!!); dancing, at least whenever I remember I like it; and playing video games, more for the plot than the experience. Seriously, I am such a casual gamer. I’ll be on the easiest of modes and I’ll still probably have a hard time. That’s a big part of why I like otome… no actual gameplay required…

13. Any regrets? This is depressing enough already, come on! But I don’t really have any long-term crushing regrets, so moving right along…

14. What is your dream job? I'm technically already a writer, since I write constantly, but getting paid for my passions would be awesome. My ultimate goal is to be able to sustain myself just by writing fiction, whether novels or short stories… but in the meantime, I’d love getting a day job as an editor. Frustrating as it usually is, it brings me a strange sort of enjoyment, and I like to think I’m good at it.

15. Do you want to get married? Being only demisexual and grayromantic, I’m not entirely sure marriage and I agree with one another. Besides, marriage is more a side effect than a life goal, wouldn’t you say? Lots of prerequisites, don’t you think? I’ve only checked one box, so… I mean… we’ll see. But if anyone gets me any diamonds, fuck that, I’m saying no till I get a better ring. Amethyst is where it’s at. Nobody gets enslaved and worked to death over amethyst.

16. Do you want kids? How many? In my current state, I absolutely could not handle kids, and it’s difficult for me to think of not being in my current state, so I can’t give a solid answer. See, I feel like in order to truly be said to “want kids”, you have to be okay with all the possibilities. If it were possible for me to have a single blood-related daughter without having sex, artificially inseminating, or being pregnant at all, I might consider it. Maybe. Until then, nahhhhhhhh.

17. How many countries have you visited? Just the one I’m from. Might consider exploring more now that a certain “mangled apricot hellbeast” (to quote someone on Twitter) has been elected president, though. Think some of my family members can hook me up with an Italian citizenship if I ever need to make an escape…

18. What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had? There was a super-symbolic dream that really upset me (fear, anger, sadness, you name it, I felt it) back in eighth grade, all about how so much sexism and racism in America has been swept under the rug instead of getting fixed, and how the same people have ultimately been in power for centuries. It was really deep and unsettling, and I was only like 13-14 so I didn’t know how to process it. I’m still not totally sure.

19. Do you have any enemies? Nah. There used to be people I hated, and I’m fairly certain people hated me too, but I haven’t had anyone I’d call an enemy since roughly high school. The last person I hated was one of my Creative Writing teachers. I refer to him only as “Professor Jackass”.

20. Do you have a datemate? …Hey, ain’t that a planner? Or are you referring to a significant other? (And if that’s the case, if you marry your datemate, do they have the potential to become a housespouse?! I might even consider getting married now!!) Anyway, I do have a planner, but never learned to use it. I also happen to have a boyfriend of just over two months, and I don’t really know how that happened, or what I should be doing with him, but he somehow manages to make my life brighter—so I hope I can do the same for him, in my own inimitably clumsy way.

Tagging: @doodlethewhiteraven​, @sabinasanfanfic​, @impracticaldemon​, @shell-senji​, @kazama-hime​, and @queen-mizera​ if you haven’t gotten this already! But please feel free to NOT do it.