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livingmybestlove · 1 month ago

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In My Way

Chapter Eighteen:

Grayson 5 Years Ago

You can imagine how pissed off I was when I went to my next class and tried to pull out my binder. My textbooks, binders, and notebooks were all miraculously stuck together. In my attempt to salvage the items that weren't ruined, I noticed a tube of off brand super glue at the very bottom of my backpack, still seeping from the very top. Not only had Olivia damaged my school items, she destroyed my backpack and my wallet. I would spend hours trying to pry my keys apart with nail polish remover, along with my driver's license and debit card. Not to mention, the hundreds of dollars it would cost to replace everything else.

I would be chastised endlessly by my parents because of the money they would have to pay for this entire debacle. That's how the rich stay rich, penny pinching and making shotty investments. But who was I to judge at my age, living the lavish life I'd lived? Not only that, I was worried about whatever punishment they would issue me. The only thing that calmed me, was knowing they'd never be around to implement it.

I knew it was Olivia. I heard her and Jace snap back and forth during Creative Writing, then suddenly my entire set of belongings were ruined by the next class. It was so naive of her. If you're going to do something malicious like that, at least try to conceal it better.

I knew the school would do nothing to reprimand her in a way that would actually make her listen, so the only thing I could think of to punish her myself, was to put her name on the senior shit list. Maybe then, I would have some sort of power over her and the way she treated me. It gave me a rush as I walked toward Christina in the library before school the next day.

"Are you still in charge of the senior shit list?" I had my arms crossed over my chest, taking in the smell of her $70 shampoo. She always smelled distinctively of raspberries.

Her eyes were astonished, I don't think she'd ever seen me this angry before, then her lips contorted into a smirk. She let her backpack hang off her shoulder and reached into it, promptly finding the folded piece of paper. Christina gave the paper to me along with a pen and as soon as I took them, they vibrated in my hands from both anger and anxiety.

I unfolded the notebook paper full of names and used one of the bookshelves as an even surface to write Olivia's name down. The paper tore with the force of my pen as I underlined her name, trying to make a point.

I handed the paper and pen back to her with a snarky expression, eyebrows toward the ceiling. I had zero regrets. If she wanted to treat everyone like shit, we might as well throw it right back at her.

"It'll be posted again on Friday," Christina told me with a proud smile on her face as I walked away.

The week only continued to get worse from there. The next morning at cheer practice, Eric and I kept trying to practice our Prep stunts, like we had been since the beginning of the year. He still wasn't getting any better while Jon and Lauren were throwing practically any stunt they wanted.

Coach was delighted for her star athlete while I had bruises and blood dripping from my hips, crimson circles forming at the bottom of my shirt, all because she decided to switch our partners.

I was trying to trust Eric but every time he took hold of my hips to throw me, I couldn't help but analyze the distance between my face and the floor. The stitches were out and my face had healed back to normal, yet we were still having this problem. Now even worse with my lack of trust in him.

"Okay, one more time," our spotter, Keith, said with encouragement. He knew the problem wasn't me and I could tell by Eric's defensive attitude, he had probably already called him out on it.

We went to try again and as I jumped up, Eric had no control and didn't even grab onto my legs to throw me up. He huffed in irritation, throwing his hands up in the air, "You're not even jumping."

"You're not throwing me, Eric," I met his defensiveness with my own, motioning to my chest with the edge of my hand pressing against my sternum, "If I'm not jumping, why am I jumping with Jon? Why would I not be jumping with you?"

"I don't know!" he yelled down at me. Keith took hold of his shoulder, pulling him away from me.

"Oh, you don't know? Maybe you should work on building more muscle or training harder. Or better yet, why don't you just find a different sport you can actually participate in? You're clearly not cut out for this one," after weeks of pent up aggression toward him, I finally snapped.

"Grayson..." Coach approached us from the group next to us, a film of trepidation coating my name. She had obviously seen us fighting.

"Coach, please don't take them out of the routine," Jonathon insisted, rushing to my side.

"Just give us one more practice...please," I begged, knowing it was going absolutely nowhere.

"I can't, Grayson," she said it quietly, like she was embarrassed. She knew this was coming the entire year up until now and yet, here we stood.

I could never understand why adults could treat children or teenagers however they liked, force their authority and power on us, while we had to sit here and take it. Did she really think I was stupid enough not to notice her motives? But, because this didn't inherently effect her, she was able to wipe her hands of it and move on.

I put my palms out to her, showing her that I had finally given up fighting this. I had woken up every morning during the week before the sun came up to come to practice, dealt with the strict diet my mother had me on to "fit in her shoes", and trained so hard to keep my body equipped to be lifted and tossed in the air for sport. I had bruises and scratches from Eric all over the lower half of my body because of this.

"You know what, I'm done," I relented.

Coach's face was solemn as she watched me walk toward the girls locker room, I looked over at Jonathon, Terra, and Christina who all looked pissed at Coach. I mouthed a quick 'I'm sorry' before walking through the door.

Jace 5 Years Ago

It was a struggle to get out of bed this early, but I couldn't get out of here fast enough. Even if I had to walk to school.

I knew Grayson had cheer practice before school and wanted to see her. Even just getting a glimpse of her face gave me a rush of anticipation. It was better than getting high because there was no low when I could feel her in my vicinity.

I was a man obsessed. Obsessed and completely at her mercy. I would beg on my knees for an ounce of her attention, but the surge of energy I got of knowing I didn't have to do anything other than be myself was a feeling like nothing else.

It was humid today, I could feel the rain coming before it began to fall. There was a sheet of clouds covering the sky, keeping the stars to themselves and out of sight from us.

There was something about the way it started to rain the second I entered the school, some sort of symbolism about it that I couldn't place. It gave me confidence that I was meant to be here. I was meant to be walking through these clean, empty hallways toward her.

I had never seen these hallways so ghostly white, so lifeless without the chatter and chaos of the students rushing to and from class. For once, it smelled of lemon, having freshly been mopped. I felt empathy for the janitor who had to clean up after us every day. I wondered what his job was like, if he liked being around the kids or resented us for creating such a dirty environment. I thanked him silently, knowing the ones who worked the hardest for what they had, had seen the worst in this world.

I heard the music before I saw anything, but as I approached a small side door with a window looking in on the gymnasium, the sight wasn't what I expected.

I spotted Grayson to the left, in a group of three with two guys from our year, one clearly bulkier than the other. Jealously made my chest ache as I watched him grab onto her hips and attempt to throw her up. She came back down on her feet hard enough for me to hear the impact against the smooth, wooden floor. I wondered how her ankles could take such a harsh collision.

Everyone else seemed to be doing much more elaborate and difficult lifts, while the guy was struggling to even pick Grayson up. He looked almost smaller than me but it was hard to tell with his clothes so loose on his body. Gray was just so small...she had to be not more than five feet tall and was skinny enough for me to silently make sure she was eating during school hours.

My mouth fell open as my eyes zeroed in on where his hands had met her hips, she was wearing a white shirt that rode up an inch or so above her abdomen. The dark red color of blood was soaked into her shirt as well as clear scratching and bruising where he'd touched her.

Rage was such a small word for what I felt in that moment, the four letters lacking the justice to describe my wrath while singling out the man behind Grayson. My jaw locked in place, watching him yell down at her. My hand grazed the cold metal of the door, just seconds away from stepping in until a student I knew to be Keith pulled the taller boy away from her.

My Grayson took a small step forward, all I could see was the back of her head but she was obviously letting him have it by everyone else's shocked reaction. Her black ponytail swayed barely enough for me to see and I again felt the desire coil in my chest to wrap my hand in it, wondering how it smelled against my skin as I pulled it against me.

I wished I could see her as she lashed out on him. She could be so fiery when she was pushed to the edge and seeing her that way only made me more feral for her.

I watched as the Coach walked toward the three with an apprehensive expression. A small back and forth went between she and Gray when another one of the bulkier guys rushed up beside Grayson defensively. Apparently, whatever had happened led her to put her hands up in defeat.

Seeing the redness, quickly mixing with purple on her smooth skin evoked what felt like an electric current into my veins. I knew she would feel that ache with every step she took in the following days, feeling sympathy pains as she made her way to the girls locker room.

My eyes darted to the source of my anger, focusing on his form moving toward the boys locker room. There was no hesitancy in what happened next. It didn't make me feel nearly as euphoric as being with her, but knowing this piece of shit would never touch her again did give me a sense of fulfillment.

I walked into the locker room, floors still wet from the sanitizing, to see the brown haired boy taking the hem of his shirt in his hands. My steps were silent as I advanced on him, taking him by surprise as he was removing his shirt. I punched the white fabric against his face, seeing blood begin to gush against it. His sneakers squeaked against the wet coating causing him to fall with his back to the ground.

"What the fuck?" was his unoriginal reaction, holding his shirt to his nose with frantic eyes. His nose was broken from the subtle crack I'd been listening for, but wouldn't take long to heal after it was set. I laughed out loud at the thought of setting it myself but shook it away.

The realization set in that it was me who had hit him by the way his hands and shoes suddenly slipped against the floor as he struggled his way away from me. I stood looking down on him, not stepping an inch forward having already made my point.

"What did I do to you, man?" yet again, unoriginal question. The fact that he even needed to ask me that, considering the events of the last ten minutes was, needless to say, showing his lack of common sense, "Do you even know my name?"

"I haven't been asked that before, so perks for that small piece of originality. But I don't need to know your name," my voice changed from my normal, conversational tone to a threatening nature as it always did when I took the somewhat aggressive approach.

"Why?" his eyes had teared up, diluting the blood on his shirt. It was the same color stained onto Grayson's shirt, fueling my anger while remembering her distinct lack of tears as he tore into her skin over and over again with those slimy fingers.

"You are such a pussy compared to her, you know," I sat down with the wooden bench that lined the lockers between my legs.

"Who? Grayson?" he asked, openly offended.

"Yes, dumbass. You get punched in the nose once and are acting like a terrified fucking rabbit, while she was in there with your fingers tearing through her skin every thirty seconds, ready to take it as many times as she needed to," his eyes grew wider and wider as I went on. He reminded me of when Derek had taken me hunting for deer when we were kids. They were so fragile and jittery, running at the slightest noise or change in the wind.

"She's the one fucking it up, man, not me. She's not easy to -"

"Lift?" I interrupted him with confidence, placing my hands on my knees, "You might not want to finish that sentence. I may consider setting your nose."

"No no no, please don't," he panicked, pushing his back into the wall.

"I won't touch you again," I narrowed my eyes in on his noticeably small frame, "As long as you keep your hands off of her."

"It's not even like that, it's just cheerleading."

"It doesn't need to be 'like that' for it to matter. Did you see her hips?" my nostrils flared at him, I had to take a moment to breathe before continuing, "The next time you feel like placing the blame on her, maybe build some muscle first so we can at least fight fair. That girl is barely over one hundred pounds and you don't look like you could lift a toddler."

He was speechless at my threat. I was almost never violent outside of my house, too afraid of being like my father and brother, but there was something about the sight of her blood and bruising that broke straight through that barrier.

I stood from the bench, hearing the wood whine at the loss of weight, "I don't care what you need to do to make it happen, but you will never touch her again, do you understand?"

There were no words, just a rapid nod of his head and a groan against the bloodied shirt pressed to his nose. I stifled a laugh before opening the door, "I don't need to tell you to keep this to yourself, do I?"

I didn't think he could move his head faster than he already he had, but he shook it even quicker. He was practically trembling with fear, and for the first time, I felt content with the violence I had inflicted.

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loonaticstudios · 2 months ago

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Welcome!

Hello new followers! Thank you for coming to my blog, I'm very exited to have you here, and I hope you'll have have as much fun in expressing your creativity as I hope to coming up with ideas and ventures to get your imagination and your crafty side fired up! I've been talking about doing an art prompt/art therapy blog for a long long time, and I'm finally getting around it it. I'm calling it the #LoonaticChallenge, and I want to get you into the club!

As you may have noticed, the blog is a bit bare at the moment. Over the course of the next few weeks, I plan to get it polished and all the links and sidebars working, and you'll get to know more about me in the coming days; I currently work as a teacher and a recreation specialist, so I have a lot of experience on this front, and I love to share my ideas! So, in the meantime during said construction, posts will go up on on a frequent basis to get you rolling on your notebook adventure!

Here's what you can expect on this blog. Every day, I'll post a journal prompt for you to answer in your notebook. You an encouraged to answer these prompts in whatever way you feel comfortable; you don't just have to write your answers! You can draw them, sketch them, collage them, paint them. . . whatever floats your boat! You are encouraged to use a variety of materials, but at the same time, don't feel like you need to run out and buy a million art supplies. You'll notice in my posts that I have quite a few; but that's only from my own extensive collecting over the years.

All you will need to start with is a blank notebook and a pen, and maybe some crayons/colored pencils, or markers. For your notebook for this particular journal club, I recommend a simple composition notebook-ex, one of these:

...but of course, you are free to use any style notebook that you prefer. There are no rules here! Only guidelines.

Your only assignment for this first month, since we are beginning in the middle of April, is to decorate the outside cover, the inside cover, and make a first title page. I included one of my first composition book (challenge) pages as an example:

Go nuts! You're going to be working a lot in this notebook, so I encourage you to make it fun to look at. Anything goes, and there are no rules.

I also got started on an an introductory page and a 'meet the artist' page, but these are extra, and not the 'assignment' for the month, so to speak. That said, you are encouraged to treat your notebook as a best friend. Name it, even, if you want to!

[I chose to name mine Coyote for the sake of this challenge, with a page in the works just for that prompt. However, that's getting ahead of ourselves. That's our first page for May] ;)

Take your notebook wherever you feel comfortable having it. You don't have to just stick with the daily prompts. Put everything in it. This journal should NOT be the same journal you do your daily brain dump; we're dedicating this one to the creative process-more like a sketchbook (but it's OK if you just write in it). Feel totally free to paint, write, and draw in it even when it's not one of the prompts we're doing. Glue in things that inspire you, put in photos, wrappers, trash, receipts, collages, stickers, swatches and pen tests, coloring pages you've done, anything and everything.

Please just tag me at #LoonaticChallenge if you would like me to see your entries, and if you would like your media outlet of choice put into the link library, please feel free to send it to me. As mentioned, that part of the blog is under construction, but I plan to have a links page as well as a patreon, where subscribers will be able to access videos and tutorials of bigger projects whose results will show up in this blog.

Thank you for joining the group, I'm happy to have you along for the ride. Regular daily prompts will begin the first week of May. In the meantime, have a ton of fun prepping you creative space!

See you soon!

-Loon

#Admin #Updates

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paintcloset · 2 years ago

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Material Experimentation: Transparent Transfer Paper Part 1

Aka how many different times can i fold and glue different pieces of fuckin paper

Interview Research

Before fucking around with any paper I interviewed some of my classmates about what they think about it.

Notes from wolf about experimentation:

Result not research, how can you work on the material itself, without the influence of other materials itself

Not focused on a certain image, focused on the research itself. Not to make something, but to explore it. New ways of using the material.

Aliases: Transfer paper, Colored Vellum, Calc Paper

Charlie: has used baking sheets and tracing paper sheets but the same type of thing

1.What did you use it for?

Transferring sketches to nicer paper.

2.Would you use it again?

No because his final work is usually bigger than his originalpieces

3.What do you think about transparent things?

They're cool, the variety in opaqueness, hiding things in the layers

4.What's a daily use of transparent paper?

Paper for checks, which is not transparent but it is transfer paper.

Baking paper.

Traditional Animation

5.How would an animal use transparent paper?

It would rip it up, maybe eat it and build a transparent nest with it. Some animals try to go through it, maybe if it was transparent enough.

Anastasia:

used it on a projector, to project an image on the wall

2.Yes sure, you can do a lot of things with them, it makes life easier.

3. Some of the like, but depends on the object, like transparent bags are not it.

4. Good for transferring text and transferring writing, and baking. Have a transparent notebook? Rolling papers since it’s transparent

5. Probably eat it. Give it to a cat, they would just play with it. Monkey would do something more interesting.

Luisa:

1.Used before, to transfer, never focused on it to see what can be done

2. Yes

3. Challenging, no color to base on. With art works, it could be too neutral, and needs more. Transparent boots are a no.

4. Art class, not very existing

5. Eating it, smell it first, then probably throw it away because it’s an unknown thing

Wolf:

Yes, to make kites, kite paper, very light and semi transparent, turns more transparent with lacquer, what can make it more transparent? Like grease and oil

Depends, if i need it i'll use it, but not interested in paper that much. Only if necessary. Stain glass windows in primary school

As material, interest in it, that you can divide different spaces but you still have a connection with the other side, like a window. Contact with the outside visually yet we are totally separated like sound and weather.

Envelopes with a transparent window

Depends on the size of the paper. If it’s confetti, ants pick it up after the feast. Birds naturally pick up random trash, that bird would have used it for the nest because they adapt to the circumstance of a city.

Now lets get back to entering the question, how many different ways can I fuck with paper

Plain Folding and Crumpling

Cutting and putting back together with tape, which gave it a fabric like property. Very cool but took so damn long

Putting together the thinner paper, gluing it in layers to make it ironically less transparent

Curling with scisors

Stabbing Holes with a fork and a Pencil

#fine art #art #contemporary art #experimental #experimentation #material #material experimentation

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dorefasolsido · 2 years ago

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12. No Recess

***credits to the original creator***

1. Pen: Did the ink ever smudge across the paper when you used to write?

I’m sure that happened many times. It would smudge all over my hands all the time.

2. Highlighter: Did you highlight everything or just the super important details?

I rarely highlighted anything, but when I did, only the important details.

3. Pencil: Did you prefer mechanical or regular pencils?

I think regular ones, idk.

4. Markers: Did you prefer to use the fat or skinny markers?

Skinny, maybe.

5. Crayons: How many crayons came in the biggest box that you brought to school?

Oh idk, I don’t remember ever bring crayons to school.

6. Colored Pencils: What’s your favorite color?

Most shades of blue, black, and purple.

7. Erasers: What’s one mistake from the past that you’d like to erase?

I don’t want to erase any particular act, but I would love to have been able to erase my social anxiety in high school. Constant worry about what everyone’s thinking was a nightmare, and looking back on it all now, it just wasn’t worth the stress.

8: Glue: Which is better - stick or liquid bottle, and why?

Liquid bottles always worked better for me.

9. Scissors: Who was the last person you cut out of your life, and why?

A very good friend who was very bad for my mental health, and I don’t think I was good for hers either. We were fighting non-stop, stuck in this weird friends-but-maybe-something-more situation, until I realized it’s stupid and exhausting to continue that way. That being said, cutting her out was one of the more difficult things I’ve done in my life.

10. Notebook: Were you more comfortable using a separate notebook for each subject, or did you use one notebook for multiple different subjects?

I had separate notebooks for each subject until I came to uni. Then it was all in one.

11. Binder: Did you buy plain-colored binders, or ones that had pictures/characters on them?

Definitely with pictures or characters.

12. Folders: What was the one color folder that you were expected to have but could never find in the store?

Uhh, I have no clue, it’s not like anyone ever expected me to have any particular folders.

13. Clipboard: Did your teacher ever require you to use a clipboard as an alternative to your desk’s hard surface?

Nope.

14. Stapler: Have you ever accidentally stapled yourself before?

Lol it sounds like something that would happen to me, but no. Probably because I didn’t use staplers very much.

15. Sharpener: Did you used to like to sharpen pencils (especially colored ones) at both ends?

Oh I definitely did.

16. Hole-Puncher: Do you prefer the 1-hole punch or the 3-hole punch one?

Tbh, no preference?

17. Sticky Notes: Do you prefer plain yellow Post-Its, or all different colors?

Different colours!

18. Index Cards: Did you study a lot or just try your best on the day of a test?

I studied, I was a pretty good student.

19. Paper Clips: How often during the school day were you unable to hold yourself together? What about school would make you upset?

I just hated my class and the general vibe of high school. And people often said high school days would be the best time of my life, which made me pretty miserable, because, you know, fuck me then. Luckily, that’s 100% not true; uni was around 1000 times better than high school in every possible way.

20. Reinforcements: Who were your friends throughout your years of school?

I had a little group of friends, but I’m friends with only one girl out of the six now. They never felt like real friends to me, and by the time we were seniors, they pretty much excluded me and the other friend from the group. So, when high school ended, I changed my phone number and didn’t bother contacting any of them later on.

21. Dividers: Did you have separate binders for each subject, or use dividers in one large binder?

I didn’t use binders regularly.

22. Supply Box: Do you prefer a supply box or a pencil case? Why?

Pencil case, just because that’s what I used to carry to school.

23. Book Covers: Did you buy the colorful stretchy patterned kind, or cover your books with a brown paper grocery bag?

I only used these very early in elementary school, and I always had the patterned ones.

24. Backpack: Did you ever use a rolling backpack before?

Nope.

25. Lunch Box::What was the best snack to be traded at lunch?

Lol we didn’t actually have lunch at school. Our parents would give us some cash and then we could buy a sandwich from a shop near the school or something else to snack on. We never had a proper cafeteria, and our “lunch time” was only 15-20 minutes.

26: Ruler: How tall are you?

163 cm.

27: Paper: How long is the longest paper you’ve ever had to write?

Idk, I wrote a lot of long papers. My master thesis might have been the longest one, but I can’t look for it now to check how long it was.

#personal #survey

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sassyllamaspirit · 4 years ago

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Use what you have at home

When you first start out as a witch there is so much excitement to go out and buy all the “fancy” new tools, supplies, and books. You think that you need them. That you have to own specific things to make your spells work. It is easy to get caught up in all that. But there are plenty of things that you mostly likely already own that can be used as ritual/spell tools and supplies. Not as fancy as going to the local occult shop, but will help you get started right away or good for those who are in the broom closet.

I'm going to offer household suggestions for the main tools you may need.

Wand: A stick you can leave plain or decorate (try not to cut off a branch but look for something that has already been shed.) A chopstick that you have decorated (I like the hot glue handle then painted). A wooden spoon. You can wire or string wrap several kabob skewers together. A wooden dowel. Stirring rod.

Athame: Plain old butter knife. A pocket knife. A letter opener. A toy sword or dagger. (it would be symbolic only as it wouldn't actually cut anything, My athame is made of resin and I use it only symbolically.)

Chalice: Any cup will do. I have a wine glass that I use sometimes and a HP mug I use sometimes.

Besom: Anything that will “sweep” the energy. A folding fan(paper, lace or feathers.) A hand broom, a feather duster(please be careful around open flame)

Cauldron: Needs to be heat and fire proof. A small pot. You can fill a small ceramic or terra cotta bowl/pot with some sand(I'd also place on a trivet as well just to be on the safe side) Small camping cast iron pot.

Bell: Any bell with do, doesn't have to have a handle. Could be jingle bells from Xmas or sport's fan cowbell.(My old college was always handing those out for homecoming) Before I got a singing bowl I had one piece of actual crystal, I used to do the water on the rim trick for ringing.

Candles: Pretty much any candles will do, even flame-less if that is how you have to go. I like birthday candles, they come in every color, are easy to source, and burn quickly.

Mortar and Pestle: You just need to be able to grind and crush herbs, seeds, eggshells, etc. Alternatives could be a spice or coffee grinder. A rolling pin and baggie, round rock and bowl,

Grimoire or Book of Shadows(BOS): Notebook or composition notebooks. Journals. Binder and loose leaf paper. Digital journal. Sketchbooks. If you want something a bit bigger and fancier, you can combine several composition notebooks together by gluing the front and back covers together and binding with fabric or tape. You can keep all your writings in a box, envelope, or chest. It doesn't need to be a “book.”

You don't have to go out and buy all kinds of new things to get started as a witch. By all means, you can if you want to, but you certainly don't have to. There are so many alternative things out there that you can make use of. Take a look through your home with fresh eyes, maybe there is something that would work perfectly that you just hadn't noticed before.

#witch tips #witches #witchythings #baby witch #beginner witch #witchblr #witchy diy #witchy tools #witch #magic tools

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shokobuns · 4 years ago

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“𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐛𝐫𝐨?”

your irritating step brother likes to come in your room during your zoom classes.

PAIRING: stepbro!gojo satoru x f!reader

GENRE(S): smut, quarantine!au (au? LMAO), college!au, taboo

WORD COUNT: 2.7k

WARNING(S): darkish, smut, drug use (weed), high sex, stepcest, taboo, slight dubcon, slight manipulation, exhibitionism (if you squint), sensory deprivation (blindfold), degradation, size kink, unprotected sex, creampie, oral (f receiving), squirting, dacryphilia (if you squint)

(A/N): this rly do be my first time using proper capitalization huh, anyways all characters, SORRY I FORGOT TO ADD THE READ MORE I FIXED IT

More.

One thing you easily learned about Satoru was the fact he wasn’t easy to satisfy. He’s demanding, cocky, all the while being nonchalant. He rarely exerts effort, but gets the desired results. He’s arrogant, but it’s nearly impossible to point out a flaw to counter it at all.

It makes your head hurt. It makes your teeth clench.

When you make eye contact, you make sure to stare back daggers. When you’re forced to talk to him, your voice stays monotone and expressionless. When you’re in a room with him for more than five minutes, your earbuds are already out, drowning out the sound of his voice. But it’s all difficult when you’re under the same roof.

Knock. Knock.

You roll your eyes at the sound of your step brother knocking your door, wondering what the hell he wants now. At this point, he’s probably just trying to annoy you, poke at your sides until he gets attention, any kind of attention, all just to satisfy his boredom.

Your calm demeanor and sharp tongue has always contrasted with Satoru’s teasing attitude. He’s always seemingly trying to provoke you, trying to pry apart the walls you’ve barricaded yourself in. His personality never rubbed you in the right way from the day your dad surprised you with a dinner with your new brother and your new mom. It didn’t matter anyways, you thought. You’d be going off to university soon enough.

The pandemic ran over all of your plans like a truck.

Better yet, your parents still had work without the option of staying home, leaving you and Satoru home alone for a little over eight hours a day. When he wasn’t in class or tutoring his juniors, he was knocking at your door, most likely red-eyed, though you can’t see it, and relaxed. Despite his persistence, you rarely let him in no matter how insistent he is in “getting to know his new lil sister.”

“Go away, Satoru.”

Behind the door, he pouts while you scribble down notes from the screenshared presentation. He comes in anyways, reeking of marijuana and cologne, half of his shirt buttons undone. You steal a small glance before once again glueing your eyes to your computer screen. The voice of your professor bores you, but you’re hyper aware of Satoru’s presence as he makes himself comfortable on your bed. “Get the fuck off! You stink!” You yell, turning off your camera before throwing a pencil right at him.

He catches it mid air with ease, relaxing his head on your pillows while fiddling with one of your many Sanrio plushies. “Can I have this?” he asks, holding one up as you contemplate its value in your head.

“If it gets you out of my room, then sure.” you reply in a monotone voice, turning back to your notes.

“You’re no fun,” he mumbles, rolling over to lay on his side with the plushie in his arms, “Is that organic chem?”

“Yeah, can you go now?”

“I’ll be quiet, princess. Don’t worry about me, just wanna know what my lil sis is up to.” He waits for a response, but is only rewarded with a huff.

It stays like that for the next ten minutes, him watching your professor’s lecture, you scrambling to write all of the information on the slides as he continues the fast paced lesson. You’re hyper focused on your class, putting in your effort to absorb the entirety of the content. In your mind, the only people in your room are your and your computer. “You know, you don’t have to understand everything all at once,” a voice speaks up from behind you, causing you to purse your lips in annoyance, “It’s easier to learn when you’re actually paying attention to the lecture instead of focusing on trying to get everything down.

“We get it, Satoru. You have straight A’s and you’re naturally good at everything.”

“Hey, you’re getting advice from an aspiring teacher. Don’t need to use that tone with me, Princess.” He mumbles, rolling to his back on the bed, “Just tryna help you out in my free time.”

“I don’t need your help.”

He stays silent while you go back to drawing some of your basic compounds. Ethanol, methanol, propane, all of it. Your scribbles are messy and they progressively fill out the page in your notebook. You hear a tsk behind you, rolling your eyes as you prepare for another criticism from Satoru. Sure, he was probably right, but you refuse to feed into his ego. “Does he not link the slides to you guys or something?” he asks, this time with a friendlier tone.

“He does.” you reply, swiveling your chair until you’re facing him. He’s laying on his side again, his shirt spilling off his shoulder as your breath hitches at the sight. The blindfold is snug against his face, his hair pushed up. You’re sure that the stink of marijuana has rubbed onto your sheets and you make a mental note to wash them after class. “Then get high with me.”

“I’m in the middle of class, dumbass.”

“But you can always look at the slides later.” he suggests, “Plus, you’ve looked super stressed lately. Wonder why.”

Because of you, you want to say, but you stop yourself, opting to stay silent while pondering the offer. “Sure.”

He excitedly walks back to his room, returning to your bed seconds later with a joint between his fingertips. “This your first time?”

“Nah.”

“Ooooo,” he hums like a child, “That’s what you’re up to when we’re not around, huh?” he teases and you shake your head with a smile forming on your face.

“I guess.”

He shrugs, holding the joint up to your lips and lighting up the tip. You suck in the smoke into your lungs, holding it in, before exhaling out the screen door of your window. He takes a hit, opening his mouth and inhaling through his nose then passing it back to you. Your professor’s lecture fades into background noise as you fixate on Satoru, finally giving him the attention he’s been craving for weeks. He makes a mental note to offer you weed the next time he’s overcome by boredom.

The high hits you almost immediately. You’ve never had anything this strong and it’s liberating. You feel weightless, but your eyelids feel heavy. Your face is awfully warm and lifted and your vision gets more and more blurry by the second. The intoxication is pleasant, the present worries in your head being cut off as you focus on what’s right in front of you.

Satoru.

Satoru, your dear, irritating step brother who was kind enough to share the weed he stashes in his drawer. It’s getting harder and harder to hate him and you can’t reason why you felt so many negative emotions that you projected onto him at all. Sure, your room reeks and it’s all because of him, but the sight of him laying on your bed in a shirt that barely covers up his upper body makes your underwear feel uncomfortable. You don't know where it’s coming from, but shutting it out was easy when you’re sober. Key word: sober.

You stand from your desk, making your way to your bed and laying next to him. Both of you face each other, easily getting comfortable, warmth radiating off his body. It feels oddly intimate and your thighs press together in order to suppress the lustful feeling that takes over your body. Your arm comes around to the back of his head, tugging on the fabric that covers his eyes. “Can I take it off?”

“Sure.”

He lifts his head, allowing you to pull on the knot until it becomes undone. You don’t know what you were expecting, maybe a scar or something, but you’re in awe of the blue orbs that make you feel like you were staring into infinity. They’re bloodshot and half lidded and it’s when one fact you really didn’t want to accept hits you.

Satoru Gojo is one of the prettiest men you’ve ever seen.

And he’s your step brother.

Uneasiness stirs in your lower tummy and you curse at whatever higher power that decided to give you this type of luck, but a hand on your hip trails to your back, pulling your closer and closer until your faces are at a dangerous distance. You can feel your cheeks becoming alarmingly hot and you hate that you can’t blame it on the weed. His hand comes up to your cheeks, his thumb stroking the soft skin. “Thought you wanted me to go away?”

“Changed my mind.” you whisper, eyes slowly closing, lips parting open as you wait for him to lean in and close the gap.

“Hmm? What’s this?” he sneers, causing your eyes to shoot open and your body to jolt up from your bed. The hazy feeling on your head still remains, making it hard to stand completely straight. “Get out.” you sternly demand, leaning back on your desk chair and pointing towards your door.

“Why should I? I don’t think you really want me to leave, babe.” He props his head on his hand, leaning his elbow onto your mattress.

“It’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong? We’re just two people hanging out on a bed. Unless you were trying to do something else, dirty girl.”

“I- I wasn’t! You’re my step brother!”

“Step brother.” He repeats, justifying your actions.

You’re shaking, guilt occupying your mind keeping you distracted. It’s the perfect time for Satoru to get comfortable in the space between your legs, pulling down your loose shorts and taking you by surprise. Before you have a chance to protest, his nose brushes against your sensitive core, making you let out a squeak. “W-We can’t do this!”

“Didn’t you want this?” he questions, looking up at you with wide eyes, “Wanted me to take care of this pretty little pussy, right?”

You know you should be refusing. You know you should be pushing him out your door. But it’s so hard when his pupils are dilated and the grip on the sides of your thighs feels so right. At this point, you’re not thinking, only nodding along to whatever he’s saying, anticipating his next actions.

“So wet.” He mumbles, pulling down the flimsy fabric and throwing it off somewhere in the room. He licks a thick stripe from your entrance to your clit, sucking softly on the pearl while holding you down as the pleasure causes you to jolt upwards. He sucks and slurps like it’s his last meal, making your empty walls pulsate and little whines along with to leave your lips. Looking down, your eyes meet his, the lower half of his face immersed in your cunt.

The wet muscle fucks into you, curling and pressing against your walls, while his thumb rubs against your little clit. He hits all the right spots that make you squirm, pushing your legs wide open to see more of your ruined pussy. The wetness collects on his mouth, his chin, and his cheeks, filling him with a sick sense of satisfaction. “Such a whore, aren’t ya?” he pulls away to comment, but your fingers thread through his hair, pushing his head back where you need him most.

The action is assertive, something he usually hates dealing with. Though this time, he’s filled with a sick sense of pride at the fact that he was able to turn you, someone who seemed to hate him with a burning passion, into a moaning mess with just his mouth. He hums satisfactorily, sending vibrations into your sensitive core that make your thighs shaky.

You’re already cumming in an embarrassingly short time, gushing all over his face while he laps up all the juices you have to offer.

Before you can process anything else, his lips capture yours, lifting your body and dropping you onto your bed. You look at him with half lidded eyes, still sensitive from your last orgasm, while he pulls off his own clothes. His length rests on the inside of your thigh and he’s huge, so huge that it feels heavy against your skin and it scares you. “Satoru, I don’t think I can take you-”

“Shhh, princess,” he reassures you, “You started this. You have to take it.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to speak, taking the fabric of his blindfold and covering your eyes, tying a tight knot on the back of your head. This isn’t right, a voice in your head tells you, but you ignore it because Satoru treats you so well. He keeps you company, gives you some of his weed, eats your pussy without you having to ask him.

The only thing you can see is black and you whine. You so badly want to see Satoru’s pretty face, his chiseled body, his thick cock, but your thoughts are interrupted by the fat tip prodding at your tiny hole. “Too big..” your voice trails off as your mind is lifted, only the feeling of him splitting you in half remaining. You’ve never felt so full and it feels so dirty, yet your slick says otherwise, betraying any rational part that still resides in your body.

“I got you, Princess, don’t worry.” He slurs, drunk on the sensation of your snug walls. The stretch strings, whimpers spilling from your lips, but his cock hits every spot like no other. By the time he’s fully inside of you, it feels like he’s actually in your guts and it’s all intensified by the isolated feeling, not being able to see him at all. Every bite on your shoulder, every kiss on your open mouth, every delicious drag on your gummy walls is amplified.

You’re already cumming around him, a ring of cream forming on his cock as he gazes down at your bare body, wrapping his lips around a sensitive nipple. You squeal, your breath hitching at the same time you clamp down around his throbbing length. “Already? Such a sensitive little princess, aren’t you?” He mutters in your ear, your nails digging into his shoulders, piercing the pale skin. Tears spill from your eyes, flowing down the sides of your face.

His teeth sink into your shoulder and you want to tell him to stop, but the words don’t quite leave your lips. Only babbling noises accompanied by the wet sounds of your cunt and skin slapping against skin. He’s still pounding into your cervix at a relentless pace, in awe of how your slick drips down his balls and onto the white sheets.

Every time he hits that sweet spot, there’s an odd feeling that forms, like you’re about to make a mess. And when your next orgasm washes over you in intense waves of euphoria, a clear liquid spurts from your cunny, coating his lower stomach and your inner thighs. “Who knew my little princess was such a messy girl?” he taunts, making your cheeks flush in embarrassment.

“S-shut up-”

“Don’t worry about it,” he leans in close, his lips dangerously close to your ear, “I’ll clean it all up.”

His smooth voice causes you to squeeze around him, almost like you don’t want him to ever leave your cunt, and it gets harder and harder for him to move. “Fuck, baby you’re so tight, need you to loosen up,” he mumbles, his own orgasm finally approaching, your little cunny milking him for all he’s worth.

He’s rambling little praises, hot pleasure elevated by the high, his hips stuttering and his cock stuffing you to the brim with his warm seed. You both lay there, still intertwined and his body resting on top of yours.

“Ms. (L/N)! Did you have any questions about my lesson today?”

Your face drops in horror, your hand immediately pulling off the blindfold, as you push Satoru away from you and press the leave button on Zoom. A mix of your juices drop onto the floor and he chuckles, pulling you back to bed. “This isn’t over.”

He pins you back onto the mattress, his cock twitching at the sight of your leaking cunt, pulling your thighs until you’re close and pinning them to your chest. In one swift movement, his entire cock is shoved into your cunt, his balls slapping against the flesh of your ass with every thrust, fucking his cum back into your womb.

Gojo Satoru would never be satisfied.

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sqoiler · 4 years ago

Text

On the Thursday of the last week of kindergarten, the DVD that Miss Martinez was going to play turns out to be scratched beyond recognition, and so she gets out construction paper, scissors, markers, and glitter glue.

“Father’s Day isn’t for a few more weeks,” she says. “But why don’t we make some cards, just like we did for Mother’s Day, okay?”

The kids all get to work, reaching for the pile of brightly-colored paper. Stephanie Brown, who will be turning six in August, is the last one to get up. She shifts through the leftover colors--black, a pukey shade of green, blue, white. She picks up the black one and takes it back to her desk. She does not want to make a stupid card for her stupid dad. The other kids at her table are enthusiastically chattering about their dads’ favorite colors and jobs and drawing crayon drawings onto the paper. The girl next to her is cutting a snowflake out with safety scissors.

Steph picks up a white crayon and stares at her blank card. Across the room, Dexter raises his hand.

“What if we don’t have a dad?” he asks. Steph remembers from Mother’s Day that Dexter has two moms.

“Make a card for someone else,” Miss Martinez suggests. “Your grandfather, maybe. Or a neighbor, or a hero.”

A hero?

Steph looks at the black card before her, and her white crayon. She smiles.

And she makes a Father’s Day card for Batman.

-----

On the Monday of the last week of first grade, Mrs. Arnold, the art teacher, sits down her class and passes out white paper.

“Father’s Day cards,” she explains. Stephanie Brown, seven in August, considers making her own father a card. She didn’t get him anything last year but he didn’t seem to notice, and she’s not really that mad at him this year. But he didn’t seem to notice, and when Steph thinks about it, she thinks Robin probably doesn’t make Batman a card. Steph could make another card for her own dad at home, and make one for Batman at school.

Mind made up, she reaches for black markers and gets to work.

-----

On the Tuesday of the last week of second grade, Stephanie Brown, almost eight years old, sits down in art class and carefully draws a black blob with pointy ears, and a red and green and yellow stick figure, next to it, and she tries to remember what Nightwing looks like, and when she can’t remember she just draws Robin again but bigger.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, she writes in red marker, and she closes the card.

------

On the Wednesday of the last week of third grade, Mrs. Arnold passes out watercolors in art class with pieces of thick paper, and tells them to make presents for their dads. Stephanie Brown, nearly nine, hasn’t seen her dad in almost four months, and she uses up almost all the black water colors at her table painting a picture of Batman.

------

On the last week of fourth grade, nobody sits down their class to have them make Father’s Day cards.

On the Thursday before Father’s Day, Crystal passes Stephanie Brown, age almost-ten, a card bought from the store and tells her that they’ll mail it to Blackgate the next morning. Happy Father’s Day, the card says. You’re the best dad ever! the card says.

Steph stares at it for a long time.

Then she tears out a piece of notebook paper and folds it in half, taking the rainbow gel pens she got in December and picking up the pink one. She squints at it and sees that it’s nearly run out, so she picks up the purple one instead.

When she’s done drawing Batman and Batgirl and Robin and Nightwing, she decides she likes purple, and she folds the notebook paper inside the card her mother gave her, and she doesn’t mail anything to Blackgate the next day.

-----

On the last day of fifth grade, Mr. Robinson turns on The Great Mouse Detective and sets out a stack of colored paper and scissors. He tells the class they can do whatever they want during the movie and even sets up chips and cookies, then he sits in the back of the classroom and maybe falls asleep. Stephanie Brown, ten-going-on-eleven, wants something to do with her hands, so she takes a black piece of paper and cuts out a batsymbol. She learned how to draw them by sticking her head out her window at night and looking at the sky, and she’s proud of her newfound skill. When she’s done cutting it out, she’s not really sure what to do besides maybe tape it to her shirt, but her dad’s been out for a week now and she thinks he’d be mad if he saw that.

Instead, she folds it in half and writes HAPPY FATHERS DAY across the middle using white-out. Skye, the girl who sits next to her, leans over and asks what she’s doing, and Steph pauses. She’s...she’s not really sure why she keeps making these. To prove a point, maybe. She’s not really sure what point, though.

“Do you think Batman ever gets cards?” she asks in a whisper.

“Yes,” Skye says. “Probably every day.”

“Oh,” Steph says. “Well, I probably won’t send it then.”

“Okay,” Skye says, and then she downs half of her dixie cup of orange juice and turns back to the movie. Steph puts purple glitter glue on her batsymbol.

------

On the first week of April, Stephanie Brown, age seventeen, pulls a plastic bin out from under her desk. There’s a cardboard box beside her, and two other cardboard boxes on her empty mattress, full and taped shut. There’s a full duffel bag of clothes next to her, and her posters from her walls have been taken down and rolled up. All she has to do is finish going through her desk, and then she’s done. The rest of her things will be sold or something, she’s not sure.

She pries off the lid of the bin before her and takes out old school binders and ragged notebooks, paper folders falling apart and ancient art projects. She lifts out a collage she probably made in seventh grade and tries to decipher the meaning behind it. There is a cutout of red heels from Kohls on top of a blue betta fish.

Steph decides it will go in the trash pile and sets it aside, lifting out a yellow plastic folder. She opens it, curious, and lifts out a black paper batsymbol. She gasps when she opens it.

Her Father’s Day cards!

Of course, she had never sent them, so she has all--she counts quickly--six of them. She looks them over, laughing at her kindergarten misspellings and looking at the evolution of her drawing ability fondly. This is--she totally forgot about this. Steph closes the folder reverently and puts it on top of her duffel bag. There’s no way she can get rid of this--especially with the purple cape still in the hidden part of her closet. Especially not with where she’s packing up to move to.

----

On the third Sunday in June, Stephanie Brown, age eighteen-in-August, takes up her yellow plastic folder from where she hid it under her new mattress, and she leaves her room, tucking it under her arm. She gets like four steps down the hall before another door opens, and already an accusing voice says, “What’s that?”

Steph whirls around.

“None of your business,” she says. Tim makes a face at her and she makes the same one back, because she is very mature. To prove her maturity, she slides down the banister on her way to the kitchen.

Dick and Cass are in there, doing the dishes. Steph watches them for a second and then says, “Why do you have dishes at this hour?” ‘This hour’, upon checking, turns out to be almost noon, but nobody wakes up early in this house.

“Breakfast for Alfred,” Cass says.

“You can do that?” Steph asks, thinking that Alfred would get offended if someone tried to cook for him.

“You can today,” Dick says, shrugging, and Steph frowns, realizes that they ganged together to make breakfast on Father’s Day for Alfred and didn’t invite her.

It was probably an accident, she reasons, but then she remembers Tim and turns to face him.

“Why didn’t you make breakfast for Alfred?”

“I was sleeping,” he says.

“He’s impossible to wake up so we called it a lost cause,” Dick says. “We have extra pancakes, though, help yourself.”

Steph is still a little affronted, but she knows that she’s the newest person in the house and she’s only staying here until her mom’s done with rehab and whatever, so they probably didn’t think she’d want to be included, even though Alfred is everyone’s grandpa, even Babs’s. She goes to pick up a pair of pancakes and bites into one, deciding syrup can wait, and she leaves before they can rope her into conversation. Besides, she’s a little scared they’ll start referring to whatever plans they have with Bruce, and she doesn’t know how she’s supposed to react.

She heads to Bruce’s study and pushes open the door, glad to find him in there. She thinks if she had to search for him she’d probably lose her nerve and chicken out. Bruce glances up for like half a second and then looks back at the computer, and she takes a deep breath and steps inside fully.

Now or never, she thinks, and so she marches right up to him and slams the yellow folder on the desk.

“What’s this?” Bruce says, and Steph isn’t really sure how to explain, so she says, “It’s, uh, I found it when I was packing my stuff, and it’s...it’s from a while ago, but I thought you might, um…”

She trails off as he picks up the folder and opens it, raising an eyebrow at the contents from inside. She kinda wants to look at his face, but also totally doesn’t want to do that, so instead she looks at the desk, and opens her dumb mouth back up. “They always used to have us do Father’s Day cards at school or whatever and I never wanted to make one for Arthur so I made those instead ‘cause...well I don’t really remember why but whatever I thought you might want to see them.”

“Stephanie,” Bruce says, and she shuts up and bites her lip, looking up at him. “You...made these?”

“Yeah,” she says. He looks back down at the cards in his hands, all spread out--even the one that was intended for Arthur that Steph never sent. He touches the one from kindergarten. “Um. You can keep them.”

Bruce stands up. Steph isn’t really sure at all what he’s thinking, but he steps away from his chair and wraps his arms around her, holds her tight.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

“Happy Father’s Day,” she says, and when he squeezes her she closes her eyes, exhales, and squeezes him back.

(based on this post x) (ao3 here x)

#(posts fathers day fic in december)#stephanie brown #bruce wayne #brotp: slap #my writing #long post

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circethegoblin · 4 years ago

Text

STAYING ALIVE MASTERPOST, FROM A BROKE TEEN WITH ADHD

here you go. some down to earth tips on how to not die metally nor physically.

tired of those "drink three liters of water everyday uwu" and "wake up at 5 am" and "buy a bath bomb and a fec mask and some other things you don't have the money for" shit? i'm here for ya.

1. NOT DYING

eat at least three meals a day, one of which m u s t be warm and above 300 kcal (it can be istant ramen with an egg added if you have to)

you technically should shower everyday, but we know how it is. A change of clothes is sometimes enough.

DRY SHAMPOO AND BABY WIPES!!!

keep bottles with water everywhere. On your desk, near that spot on the floor you always end up sitting on, near your bed, basically whenever you know you spend a lot of time. No need to get up and go to the kitchen will help. Obviously change the water in the bottles as often as you can.

Get some form of physical activity. It doesn't have to be much, you can for example replace scrolling on tiktok by walking around your room and scrolling on tiktok! Brilliant, isn't it? Obviously, running or doing those 10 minutes workouts from youtube is better, but you are still getting like an hour of walking.

Buy blankets. Steal blankets. Summon blankets from other dimensions. Just make sure you have a lot of warm, soft blankets in your house. You will thank me when you won't have the anergy to wash your sheets (just take them off and throw some blankets on your bed), or when the power goes out.

If you have pets, ALWAYS keep spare food that'll last for a week for them.

things to always have in the kitchen: milk, eggs, flour, rice, pasta, yeast, cheese, oil, a leafy vegetable, onions, tomatoes, apples, patatoes, some flavourful sauce, sugar, salt, spices and an emergency chocolate bar. You can make a lot of food with those. Just make sure you won't eat the chocolate too fast.

Have a lot of spare batteries. A lot.

Get urself a flashlight, a lighter, and a pocket knife.

Remember the apples? eat one a day. if you don't like apples or you can't eat them for any other reason, you can take a kiwi, banana, orange, basically something that will give you vitamins and non processed sugar.

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

drugs from that one guy around the corner = very bad time

2. NOT DYING INSIDE

Open the damn window.

Don't watch so many commentary videos. You are probably not even checking the sources, so you can easily make unjust judgement, and like. did you even hear of half of those people before?

make a discord server just for yourself. get into the habit of writing little things that happened to you there. rant about the fanfics you read. or the movies. vent there if you don't have anyone you can vent to. write your ideas there, write e v e r y t h i n g. make a section for passwords, for quick ideas, for your to do lists. you won't lose it as you do with sticky notes or notebooks. there is no risk anyone will see it. oh, and when you'll have a strong impulse to tell emily that you hate her? write that message in your private server and list all ur arguments. look at tat the next day and decide if you really mean that.

life sucks. come to peace with it.

cuddle ur pets if you have them

1 hour a day without a lot of sensory input. if you have to, reduce to half an hour.

if you find yourself scrolling endlessly through social media, make sure it's pintrest (just don't compare urself to the people here; if you have issues with that, tumblr may be better)

delete. twitter. from. your. phone.

influencers are lying to you; maybe not even intentionally. remember when you were watching that cute-aesthetic-productive morning routine, and you were wondering why your life isn't that pretty? why your room is a mess? why you cannot for the life of god be aesthetic 24/7? its the filter. don't worry about it, their lifes arent that nice either.

realize there's actually nothing stopping you from screaming as loud as you can right now. like there is no physical barrier. think about it. realize there's no actual physical barierr to many other things.

your body is your body. you can decide how it looks like; just remember it's in your greatest interest to keep it healthy.

3. BEING A LITTLE BETTER THAN JUST ALIVE

If you wear make up, take it off before you go to sleep.

moisturize your body; everything is better when your skin doesn't feel dry

have a one brand of cosmetics that you love and buy things mainly from it. they often have sets of products that complete each other. i like ziaja. it's a polish brand, it's surprisingly cheap and has nice quality

cleanser, moisturizer, face mist

of you can, change your sheets once every two weeks

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

do a deep house clean once a month (don't beat yourself up when you don't tho)

keep your workspace organized (it doesn't have to look organized to other people, remember)

sunscreen

cook your own food

keep a calendar

no money for scented candles? got ya. make a simmer pot: throw some apple peel, a couple of cinnamon sticks and whatever spices that smell good you have into a pot, add some water and simmer. boom. your house smells good, and you haven't spend 20 dollars.

If you really like candles, buy scented wax melts. it's cheaper.

Buy urself scented mists. they're pretty cheap and will make you feel A LOT better.

keep your clothes clean. if you aren't sure if that shirt thats on your chair is dirty or not, throw it in the washing mashine anyway. better be sure.

if you can, make your bed right when you get up

wear clothes that make you feel good. put some effort into your outfits. really.

4. OTHER PEOPLE

be nice to essential workers.

if you have money, give tips.

remember, you do not owe anyone love; it is not something you can force. even if they saved your life. even when they helped you in your darkest time. if you don't love them, you don't.

you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy.

if you want to, date! date everyone! date girls, date boys, date nonbinary people! date people completly different than you, date people from different countries, date them!!! just make sure they're kind and won't kill you. even if you don't end up in a relationship, you can learn a lot.

don't be afraid to piss off people that deserve it

smile to strangers :)

5. NOT FAILING SCHOOL

heard of dark academia? check it out

romanticize the heck out of studying

do not let your studying be just reading the same partagraph over and over again. it won't work. believe me.

seterra for geography, quizlet for everything else

try to make yourself intrestet in whatever you are studying (watch veritasium, listen to podcasts about weird history facts)

notes are for you and you only; don't worry about them looking pretty. doodle on margins, make weird metaphors, squeeze in as much info as you can.

when you're studying, listen to music without words/in a language you don't understand.

chew gum while you study

get the forest app, get attached to the trees, focus.

don't feel guilty for taking breaks

grades aren't everything, but they are important.

eat something in school

don't just use the cheapest pens. invest a couple dollars in something that will make writing enjoyable and smooth

those study with me videos? they're great

if you like to argue with the teachers, take care of your grades becouse. they may not like you afterwards.

be nice to your classmates and help them with homework. if you don't do your homework they'll help you

executive dysfunction won't let you study? been there. sometimes it's better to wake up ealier tommorow and do that homework then.

don't feel guilty for failing a test

go to the goddamn class

don't pull all nighters oh my god don't especially on weekdays

6. OTHER LIFEHACKS

don't get involved in the crime, and if you do always have a believable explanation why you were doing it

have different alarm sounds for every day of the week

set a daily limit of money that you spend

great hobbies that don't require a lot of money; urban exploration, writing, hiking and learning other languages

thrift stores

don't eat grapefruits while on meds

nail polish removers dissolve most strong glues.

if you have a cut on your skin, desinfect it. do it. please just do it.

always have pads with you. even if you don't get periods, at least one of your friends probably does

#life hacks #life #not dying #staying alive #no one will see this #who cares though

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binniesthighs · 4 years ago

Text

multifandom soulmate aus ✨

soulmate (n): a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

✨ a/n: hello hello!! today on, “Ro’s self indulgent fics” ehehe i’ve been thinking a lot about some of my favorite kpop besties and how i feel like sometimes in a group, there’s the members who just stick like glue and it’s kinda like they were destined to meet that way! anyway hehe this concept is so fkn cute to me so i wanted to make some poly r-ship headcannons with some of my favorites!

➛ disclaimer: the pairings that i use are def not all inclusive of all “soulmate” pairings out there, just the ones i know of atm! also, i know some of these groups better than others, so some will be more specific, and others a little more general!

✨ groups included: stray kids, ateez, the boyz, monsta x, seventeen, txt, bts

✨ feedback is always appreciated! who’s your favorite?✨

➛maybe if we’re feelin’ spicy i can do a part 2 with the ones i haven’t done yet ;)

Pairing: idol x female reader x idol (see fandoms above!)

Genre: fluff n’ smut

Tags: established r/ship au, poly r-ship, sexual content (the usual stuff also including unprotected sex-please stay safe!) comfort ahhh, mentions of food alcohol

*all photocreds go to ops :)

both sfw and nsfw under the snip snip!

♡ chanlix ♡

sfw

omg where the hell do i start with chanlix we love our cannon soulmates

arguably the softest fkn pairing on this list; being soulmates with chanlix is like meeting your other halves (thirds?). there’s some serious destiny at work here!!

the three of you understand each other on a spiritual level--almost to the point where you could likely read their minds if you wanted to try haha. there’s also a really, really strong type of emotional intimacy that you share with them that’s out of this world.

this soulmate bond is so fkn strong, the three of you could go through any hardships and come out of it stronger than ever!

the three of you have cute lil nicknames for eachother that you thought up yourselves!

your families are close as heck! it’s really pure how by the three of you so many people can get close ahhh

i think that chanlix would be really into more outdoorsy dates? camping, swimming, hiking, sightseeing, stargazing, picnics etc! felix also loves taking you on food tours!

bc chan is chan, he really takes on such a protective role over you and felix, he would quite literally do anything for you two: forgot your notebook or documents on the way to work/school? he’ll drop everything to bring them to you. sad? he’ll get you your favorite food, tons of blankets, his hoodie to wear and your favorite movie/tv show to watch with you! if anyone hurts your feelings too he will square tf up.

felix is the world’s most adoring boyfriend in so, so many ways. not only is he such a cuddle bug, he shows you that he cares with tons of acts of service similar to chan! this comes in the form of his baking of course and other silly little gifts he sees that reminds you of him. he isn’t the best at words sometimes, but will soothe you by giving you a little massage or by playing with your hair!

nsfw

okay...😏 damn i’ve been wanting to write some poly chanlix so fkn bad ahhhh

once again i really see chan taking the lead in more intimate situations. he really likes giving directions and seeing both you and felix carry them out! honestly he gets a bit of an ego boost seeing the both of you all whiny and fucked out ahhh

here i come with my softsub!felix agenda oops hehe but this boy is frickin’ angelic for you and chan oml, he always asks for permission before he does things and eats praise up with a fkn spoon. praises alone really get him off: “does lixie like it when i play with his cute cock like this?”

there’s something that gets the three of you ridiculously amped when you do all kinds of roleplay scenarios FRICK some favorites are pet play (you and lix being the kitties) teacher/student, roleplaying strangers, sex slaves, artist/muse, oh my god there was a halloween where you once did vampire roleplay you still think about it 🤤

since the three of you are so comfortable with eachother, experimentation feels really safe! for example, the suggestion of shibari came up and now....let’s just say lix looks really pretty tied up ;)

chan’s got a huuuuge (cock) and size kink!! he really likes topping both you and lix and seeing a bulge omg.... also when he can bulge your throats mmmhm!

felix loves it especially when you ride his face, and he cold do it for hours! he looks so cute between your legs when he licks over and over your clit. he’ll ask you too if he’s doing good and you better say yes ;)

favorite position would be all cuddled up and cozy with the two of them double penetrating you real nice and slow with tons of kisses and just touchin’ all over

cockwarming cockwarming all day, every single time, without fail, it feels wrong if you finish without it!

♡ woosan ♡

sfw

idk why but the first thing that comes to my mind is that in certain settings, ya’ll are loud as fuck AHA i guess what i mean to say as that as a trio, you are all super, super unapologetic and confident when around each other! this might have lead to you getting kicked out of a couple bowling alleys and karaoke places before...

there’s a type of unspoken understanding that the three of you have that makes your bond so special. while you love eachother so dearly, it isn’t something that you really feel needs to be said out loud, it kind of just is!

woosan are already really clingy on their own and when you come along?? you all can’t keep your hands off each other!! ya know how in movies there’s the whole “hand in the back pocket of your jeans???” woosan!!

their energy together is so fkn chaotic but that's why you love them! they never fail to make you laugh and this is also the best way that they know how to cheer you up!

Bc the three of you are a bit unbridled, it’s a bit hard to be serious at times when you go on dates/hang out with friends together so often you get some affectionate eye rolls haha

wooyoung is someone that will try anything with you! hehe even if he knows that he mind not be that into it, he’ll still go with you! of course, he might say something snarky but he really does love just spending time with you! wooyoung also shares you with all his friends (changbin, yeonjun) so lowkey it feels like you’re one of the bros at times LOL

san is a big fan of giving you gifts! oh also! words of affirmation too, san is someone who knows your insecurities well, so hypes you tf up all the time!! he especially loves buying things for you that he knows you’ll look pretty in just so he can compliment you ahhh

at the end of the day however, there’s nothing more more that the three of you love than the tightest cuddles ever as you fall asleep! honestly, sometimes its a little too tight haha

nsfw

THESE BOYS FKN RAVISH YOU LIKE YOU’RE A FIVE COURSE MEAL

and of course they expect the same from you as well! i mean....can you blame them??? these boys are sexy as hell and they frickin’ know it!!

i have this super clear image of both of them stripping you down and rubbing massage oil all over your body and then giving you the turn to do it to them my lord...

sort of along this line, temperature play makes these boys feral. wax, ice, blowies with popsicles you name it

both of them really just like being touched all over because they have the prettiest dancer’s bodies and just feeling hands on their muscles makes them loose it.

wooyoung loves to mark the hell out the both of you in a really territorial way: all over your chests and necks even on your thighssss

san, while he often does find himself in sub space, really easily can switch to dom you in the most beautiful way. everything with him is really intimate and raw: if this wasn’t already obvious haha he would like have a hand kink and loves seeing the way that his fingers look pumping in and out of your entrance and how your juices look as well.

back too wooyoung, he’s the king of oral. whether it’s going down on you and sucking at your clit or deep throating with master level skill...foreplay is never boring with him!

in my brain, i can see the both of them filling nearly position so this makes for an interesting dynamic to say the least AHA

every once and a while, they’ll let you take complete control of the both of them while they just sit back and watch you with the most smug-ass grins that you’ll see in your life!

AH another thought: woosan fkn love when you squirt on them, in any way this might look: when you’re nearly screaming in your overstimulation they want it all over them.

favorite position would be 69 threesome style with all of your sloppy moans in-between <3

♡ moonbae ♡

sfw

HEAR ME OUT the king of soulmates that know that they are soulmates but don’t take it seriously in the slightest istg this is my most favorite dynamic ahhhh

there is not one dull day with these two boys, they’ll have you laughing in stiches until you can barely breathe like, the best kind of wheezy, silent laughter ya know what i’m talking about

INSIDE JOKES literally so many inside jokes with the three of you

Kevin is never scared to call your ass out, but that’s bc he knows you so well!! it’s all just jokes don’t ya worry ;)

Along this line, your groupchat like has some random-ass name that’s also an inside joke

Jacob on the other hand is the biggest sweetheart when it comes to you, boy frickin’ melts. There is not a day that goes by when he hasn’t told you he loves ya morning and night.

Also the best listener in the whole world, you can tell him anything and everything and he’s just sit and listen and give advice.

Kevin loves you a ton a ton but just shows it differently! He remembers all the little things about you that you tell him to the point it’s scary how he does it so well

Meme king Kevin would send you memes that remind him of you and Jacob

Lowkey i can see the both of them getting into the cutest petty arguments like which one of them you love more or think is more talented AHA again it’s all in good fun hehe

it goes without saying but...it’s cuddle central up in here.

THEY WOULD SERENADE TF OUT OF YOU oh my god it’s literally heavenly, Kevin would play piano and Jacob would play guitar FRICK

You have oddly specific dates?? Like they would pick a movie to go see that the three of you would all hate just to meme the whole time. Jacob would still get invested accidentally tho.

The way to both of these boy’s hearts is their stomachs so when you cook for them they would quite literally do anything for you

nsfw

ok ok so i’m a baby deobi so this is the gist of what i’m getting (i also did a little research LOL thank you @ deobi smutblr hehe)

firstly i would like to say that i’m manifesting thigh riding with Jacob and i literally can’t think of anything else for some reason just p h e w and BOY does he love it too he thinks its so fkn cute to watch you!

i get heavy, heavy switch vibes from Kevin with maybe some sub leanings??? either way, jacob def has soft dom vibes (oh god and occasional soft sub) to me but also has no problem with you taking control and doing what you like to him if that’s what you desire!

kevin is impatient impatient and does not do well with your teasing. also...loud as hell, like, sometimes you have to tell him that he needs to calm tf down hehe (but of course you love it when he gets like that)

separately, both of them are very different experiences i think: kevin is a fan of hard and fast, kitchen counter over the sofa type stuff sloppy toppy in risky places, and he loves to experiment too!

jacob is also really different where he likes much, much more slow and intimate stuff like missionary, shower sex, real atmospheric stuff like candles and nice scents ahhh BIG fan of really fluffy pet names too like baby, princess, angel etc. super visual too omggg gets hard when you strip for him i think ;)

together it’s a fkn whirlwind i’ll tell ya that. its like, honestly the most unique experience i can think of on this list because the two of them are so different. i will say that it can end up being really giggly and sweet tho!

when it’s the three of you, kevin’s dom side comes out a little more so you’re left with these two lovely boys who want to give you all the attention! it’s lowkey a competition lol

favorite position is when you’re sucking jacob off and kevin gets to do literally whatever the hell he wants with your pussy...i imagine that it might have to do a lot with edging if you ask me ;)

♡ jookyun ♡

sfw

oddly, i find myself soft af for jookyun and idk how to describe it haha (considering that they can often be hard as hellll)

the three of you are also really nonchalant, but this is really in the way that you just feel as if you’ve known eachother for a really long time!

as we know, jookyun were a bit of an enimies to lovers arc (AHA) so with the time that they’ve spent building their bond, it’s strong asf!

i like to think that jooheon and changkyun would really get a ton of artistic inspiration from you for their music. since both of them write and often reflect bc of this, you’re totally their muse! (they’ll write some nasty as hell lyrics thanks to you too LOL)

while our lovely thicc mx boys have unbridled confidence at times, really, they are babie. and they are frickin weak for your pampering.

because of this, the two of them would become flustered as all hell when you do lil things for them!! this could be making them some lunch or just giving them the off compliment that they look a lil extra handsome that day.

your safe place is with them!! ahhh i would also like to add the number of slick ass grabs when you’re in public is a bit off the chain at times ahah

the duality of this r/ship is really something to note LOL when you go out and about when the two of them you certainly get some stares bc they look a lil intimidating at times but when you and your boyfriends cuddle up on the subway you give all passerby's whiplash haahah

Kyun is someone who is insanely romantic. almost to the point that it is cheesy haha he’d treat the both of you to expensive ass dinners, beach vacations and maybe even matching couple’s jewelry like rings or bracelets!

jooheon on the other hand is a little more toned down haha but has another side to him that fkn swells with pride knowing how breathtaking you both are...frankly, his ego skyrockets knowing that he’s got you both for arm candy if this make sense teehee

the three of you call eachother “babe” interchangeably, so it can get a bit confusing when you’re all in the same place and someone says “hey babe?” you need a new nickname ooP

nsfw

hello and here i am to push the sub!changkyun agenda. first and foremost i would like to explain how this man is such a pillow princess with the most lovely bratty edge *sighs* all that kyun wants is for you to fkn use him and do literally whatever the hell you want!! this man daydreams about you riding him right then and there wherever the hell he is.

also, kyun is the king of toys, both using them on you and on himself! need i also say breath play as well in the same giving and receiving form? more than anything he loves it when jooheon wraps his hand around his neck hooooly ahhh he prefers it when you tease his tip with a vibrator until he’s angrily red and begging for you to give him a break just for you to bend down and give a kiss to his pearly head which makes him jolt

jooheon is often more of a soft to hard dom if you ask me and takes care of both you and kyun really well. also... he will manhandle the hell out of you if you feel up for it (cough cough your arm kink for him ) oh shit and his thighs....don't’ even get me started

while the three of you often opt for the hard and fast (even in some more risque places--such as in the recoding studio) there are really some more intimate times that you share too!

on one of changkyun’s vacations, in the middle of the night, when no one was in sight and the hot tub was free for use...it started out as a bit of making out but then turned into something else when you decided to straddle jooheon and he let his hands creep under the straps of your swimsuit...needless to say you were bouncing on both of their dicks while you were warmed by the crackling bubbles

at times, jookyun can get a little needy and impatient without you, so this has lead to a couple situations where you walk in on them letting out their frustrations ;) of course, immediately then they’d love for you to join!

kyun has an oral fixation too, sooo he may or may not love cockwarming with his mouth or sucking your fingers lightly when you go to suck his dick~

♡ junhao ♡

sfw

here me out with this one...but...there’s something really intimate about this relationship?? oh how to put this into words LOL junhao also have an insanely deep bond that really transcends if ya ask me haha

while they both can be really goofy around eachother when comfortable the soulmate vibes are just...immaculate! this is all i can say? all three of you are just so connected in the way that you accept each other for all that you are and just kind of naturally gravitate towards each other even before you really knew that there were romantic feelings involved!

first, i would like to say that out of all the pairings on this list, you three are classy as FUCK. seeing the three of you next to eachother is like seeing literally three models in the flesh. the way that you dress (sometimes even to match a little) is unbelievable bc you all just look so good?

hand holdingggg wherever you go! holding hands across cafe tables, playing with each other’s hands absentmindedly hehe

TRAVEL BUDDIES you would go anywhere with them and take tons of pics!! i mean the prettiest pics

hao shows his love for you in the form of so many things, all of which he makes himself!! you inspire his physical art and drawings which he shares with you and he also loves to take clothes too and personalize them for you!

jun on the other hand would take you to the studioooo and you could watch him danceee oh my gosh he’s literally so breathtaking and he would be dancing just for you with every curve of his body he’s so magical :’) then he’d ask you for feedback and you’d just be speachless...also loves to make you smile!! just being his goofy self he’s the best at it and thinks you’re so cute!

there’s a ton of adoration in this relationship! tons of cute little displays of skinship that might look like a poke in the cheek or the fluffing of their hair ahh

still, i feel like you would have kind of silly little nicknames for them that match their personalities and perhaps...you could have matching phone cases with these nicknames....

in this relationship there’s a ton of quiet moments that are really peaceful and indulgent such as watching sunsets, drinking wine together, just talking about life n stuff like that!

nsfw

hellz yeah we’re in for some more intimate-ass fuckin! but also....😏

this boys are kinky as shit but in like a really classy ass way lolll this is so hard to put into words.

well, i’ll start with junhui catboy agenda so there’s that hehehe he would most def be into pet play: that could be like ears or pretty collars and of course calling you (or him) kitten.

minghao is really versatile and doesn’t really like labels of dom and sub, he just does what he wants and what feels good to him! bc we’re talking about how intimate everything is, the kind of sex that you share with them is often never rushed but really purposeful and even planned sometimes!

i also see there being TONS of sensory items that would come into play with junhao such as flowers, fragrances, aphrodisiacs, all kinds of fabrics for sensory deprovision such as velvet, silk, hemp rope, and so much more!

BOTH OF THEM WOULD SOUND ANGELLIC i see hao as letting out really pretty soft moans that kind of trail on his tongue and jun sort of choking out gasps with a bit of a rasp to them when they cum or they feel turned on

oh god MIRROR SEX that's what i have to say about this

it doesn’t happen often, but sometimes when any one of you would be feeling needy or pent up they can certainly do hard and fast with you between the two of them. especially when this happens, oh my god hao loves it when you moan really breathily into his mouth when you’re pressed against him ooooh shit

and jun loves it when you bite into his shoulder too when he fucks you it just makes him feral

actually, i could really see the three of you recording yourselves, or even taking pictures when you have more intimate moments to look at later, just for your own enjoyment or to get off when you’re without the others

favorite position: hmmm mirror sex with you on top of minghao literally just kissing him and marking his body as jun eats you out until you’re dripping down to minghao’s cock which he jerks off too~

♡ yeonbin ♡

sfw

DON’T TOUCH ME IM SOFT

admittedly i don’t know too much about this pairing but i do know a lil so i wanted to add them!! i also did a lil research hehe

FIRST i would like to say that the three of you would without a doubt have the cutest puppy together, if not one, then two!! they would be little dogs with perfect haircuts and likely have their own instagram account which the three of you would run! they’d be instragram famous of course

LITERALLY EVERY DAY ITS A FIGHT OVER WHOS CUTEST i kid you not this is an ongoing battle you’re all just...so weak for the other ahaha

being in a relationship with them is like being in a relationship with your bestfriends!

dates with the two of them can really range all over the place bc you just like having fun together! movie dates, breakfast dates, ZOO OR AQUARIUM DATES, taking little trips to places you haven’t been before or stay at home dates like having a little indoor picnic!

soobin is really low energy, and would often opt to hang out with you at home or at a cafe while the two of you do your thing together! he lovessss when you bake or cook for him, literally whatever it is he’ll eat it!

his smile is instant serotonin and the reason why you fell in love with him! the two of them together all smiley is your lockscreen!

yeonjunie prefers going out with you clothes shopping and would DEF enable you to dye your hair a color that you’ve always been dying to do! he also loves showing you new music and blushes like heck when you tell him that you like the songs that he picks!

in their own playful ways too, they’d always call you out on your bs LOLL but they just wanna motivate you! they’re your biggest cheerleaders!

Deep down though, both of them are quite cheesy and would love to shower you with alll the stereotypical romance that you can take even if it makes all three of you cringe ahahah

nsfw

NEEEEDY and literally so mf horny on the dl like it’s comical to how soft and shy they can be in real life situations

oh my god this is a godly thought but i see both of them being both switchy as heck but not really bc they like how it feels to be in those different postions but literally....bc no matter what it is they are getting off lolll

i see both of them having sub leanings but can get real bratty if they’re feeling it.

yeonjun does have a dom side to him that just comes with his general confidence that he gets around you! when either of you beg from him he’s ready to let himself loose.

im so sorry but they literally handed pet play to me on a silver platter with cat & dog and there is no going back for me. SO you’re in for puppy, kitty and bunny play (shhhh yeonjun’s got his fox ears too)

WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT HOW ALL OF YOU WOULD LIKE THIGH HIGHS

both of them love being edged to high hell by you...no matter if it hurts...they kinda like it?

at the same time, both of your boyfriends also love giving you all the attention at times too! i’m talking about one of them playing with your breasts while the other trails kisses down your body all the way down to your pussy aching for attention too

FUCK this might be just me but soobin eating you out>>>> a GODLY sight.

i have this other fantasy of yeonjun with either lip piercings or nipple piercings or even a dick piercing someone plz tell me to calm down

oh please...bubble bath with the two of them holy shit baby pink bubbles all around you while you take turns givin’ each other cute kisses ahhhh

one more thing to the pile here would be hella mutual masturbation soo much of it. the three of you get off just simply watching eachother too and dirty talking how much you love the way the others look with hands rubbing themselves away with cute whiny moans~

♡ taekook ♡

sfw

omg! this is my first time remotely talking about bts on my blog hehe this is so exciting!! i don’t really read too much bts ff so this is going off of my own perception!

i just wanna say....there’s so much to unpack here LOL but like many of the soulmates on this list, these boys are ~whipped~ for you and eachother!! its so stinkin’ cute

another thing about these expensive boyfriends is that they loooove to sing for you too! they’d sing you to sleep, when you’re sick, sad, or just had a hard day allllways hehe

the three of you have sickeningly adorable nicknames for eachother, the kind that honestly make heads turn LOL

jk would without a doubt get tattoos with you!! and wine drunk lollll he’s also a huge enabler so if there’s anything that you’re considering buying or doing he’d hype you up so bad you barely have to think twice heheh

kinda like junhao they’d also make amazing travel buddies but less for the aesthetic, but for the luxury. you’d stay at amazing hotels and eat at Michelin star restaurants wearing luxury brands that they bought for you

i feel like this goes without saying, buuuut in this r/ship, its alll about the adoring glances from afar or even just right next to you bc they love you so much!!

i also get a very protective vibe from them as well, you’re very special to them, and they never wanna see you in harms way or disrespected by anyone! this could even look like having their arm around you on the bus or on the small of your back in a crowd

together, they’re the biggest jokesters and flirty as HELL they think that it’s so funny when they flirt out in public AGRESSIVELY just to make you a lil embarrassed hehe

forehead kissessss and kisses on the back of your hand!

nsfw

luxurious in this area tooooo

they would rent out the penthouse or presidential suite to make an evening for you and pull out all the stops: expensive champagne, lingerie selected just for you, a breathtaking view of the city ahhhh

ya all know how much i love my soft and intimateeee body touching and there would be plenty of this! they take their time undressing you and eachother and would plant kisses into the nape of your neck and shoulders as you do so!

i would like to contribute to this conversation sub!jk bc this is something that ahhhhh i really like to think about as well as soft dom tae bcccc why not heheh

these boys are utterly gorgeous under soft lighting and prowling all over your body too tho ahhh

BUT! imagine teasing the hell out of jk, barely letting him feel your mouth besides fleeting kisses while tae drives his hips into you from behindddd

in fact, these boys actually don’t mind a little voyeurism with the wide windows in your suite, opting to leave them open so there's a bit of thrill in the way that they fuck you too~

tae has a bit of...dare i sayyyy a power kink, so when you call him names such as sir, daddy, master etc oh boy

jk himself is bit into sensory dep specifically with blindfolds especially when its your hands travelling all around his body making him shiver.

both of them just looove cuming all over you as well: face, ass, thighs, belly, literally anywhere, they just think that you look amazing like that!

there are a couple times here and there when the three of you also do a bit of cam work together for other people to watch--although it isn’t often, you rake it in when you do so. the three of you are a perfect fantasy!

sex also can happen in odd places with you three too since you can just start feeling it and don’t really care ;) strangest place....hmm i’d say when you joined the mile high club with them~

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

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nixotinix · 4 years ago

Text

More convention advice!

Reminder that I'm not a con veteran, I'm a teenager with a distant relative who runs a big ol con. I'm relaying information that I've heard before.

This convention guide is all about etiquette at conventions and a convention survival kit! Let's get into it!

Con Etiquette

There's a lot of unspoken rules to follow at a convention. A few of them center around cosplaying. So let's start with the most important rule.

Cosplay. Is. Not. Consent.

That is the most important thing to remember. Cosplayers are people, they have their insecurities, they have their boundaries, and just because they're in a wig and some fancy clothes doesn't change that. Don't take a photo of a cosplayer without their direct verbal or certain nonverbal consent. If you're in a crowd and there's a lot of people taking a photo of a cosplayer, all you have to do is get the cosplayer's attention, hold up your phone or camera, point to said phone or camera, and give them a thumbs up. If they return your thumbs up, or nod, or show any other direct consent, go ham! Take your photos! If not, don't take the photo. Simple as that. Don't try to sneak photos either. They see that shit.

Also regarding photos. If a cosplayer is sitting down, on their phone, eating, or has parts of their cosplay off, do NOT ask them for a photo. Walking around in a wig and three layers of clothing isn't comfortable, and cosplayers need to rest. And don't stalk the area waiting for them to be finished, then ask to take the photo. They see that shit. If you have to ask them anything, ask them "Hey, I like your cosplay and I was wondering if you'll still be wearing it later". That's it. If they say yes, cool! Try to find them when they aren't resting and get your photo. If they say no, oh well. You don't get a picture. Boo hoo.

Oh, and don't sit in popular photoshoot areas, all you'll be doing is taking up space. Find a bench or a staircase or something to sit on. Sit on the floor if you have to, just don't sit by the pretty backdrops.

Don't touch the wig. Don't touch the prop. Don't touch the costume. Don't touch the person. Some of these things can be very fragile, and you have no way of knowing that. Sure, you can ask. But your answer will probably be no.

Don't be loud and annoying. Nobody likes to be around you if you're loud and annoying. And, I don't know if this is still a thing, but when I went to my last con or two, there was at least 2 groups of My Hero Academia cosplayers (no hate to MHA, it's just the most popular source for this kind of thing) who would circle around people and link hands while chanting some weird cryptic shit. That can make people freak out big time, and it isn't funny at all. Don't do it.

If you see something in the vendor's hall or artist's alley that you don't like, for example, fanart for a ship you don't like, walk past the booth and move on. Don't say anything. Don't blow up in the artist's/vendor's face about how that ship is toxic, or how they drew that character with bigger hadonkadonks than they have canonically. Just move on and don't make a scene.

And most importantly.. mind your personal hygiene!!!! You don't wanna be that person that makes people gag when you walk by. Shower once a day, because con musk is real and it's bad. Pack deodorant and USE!! IT!!! Don't make other attendees have to pack air freshener for when you walk by. And remember. Axe Body Spray or any kind of body spray at all does not equal a shower. A shower equals a shower!

Now for some rapid fire smaller tips.

Don't wear big headpieces during panels, especially if you're close to the front. It can block other people from seeing what's going on. Take it off and set it on the floor or in your lap. Same with phones. Don't hold them in places that blocks other peoples' view.

Unless you're on a bench or chair, keep walking. Don't block the flow of con traffic.

Don't ask cosplayers for a hug, kiss, a date, their contact info (depends), or inappropriate photos. And ask specifically if you want to be in the photo with them, as some cosplayers don't like this.

If you're cosplaying and bringing a prop weapon, be sure to get it screened and checked first thing so the con organizers know it isn't a potential threat. If it doesn't meet the requirements, it will either have to be modified or you won't be able to take it into the con. Check the requirements of your con for weapon screening.

Try to get your badge the day before the convention actually starts. If you try to get it the first day, you'll be waiting in line for half the day and you might miss out on some real cool events.

See something, say something. Don't be afraid of looking like a jerk when someone is being creepy towards you or someone else, or otherwise making you or them uncomfortable. Report that creepy person's ass to security or employees/volunteers as soon as possible.

Convention Survival Kit

-Remember the 4-3-2-1 rule for con weekends. Four hours of sleep a night, three activities that involve sitting down a day, two meals a day, and one shower a day. These are bare minimums, and if you dip below these minimums, you're gonna have a bad time.

-Deodorant! Again!! Hygiene, people!

-2 litres of water, at least for the full weekend.

-A snack bag!

-A backpack to hold everything with. Make sure everyone in your group has one. If you're cosplaying, fuck it! Theme it to your character. Get a secure padlocked one if possible to prevent pickpockets.

-A cosplay repair kit. Even if you aren't cosplaying, it can help out a cosplayer in need. Pack a sewing kit with a few thread colours, safety pins, bobby pins, hairties, eyelash glue, some simple makeup, things of the like. Maybe a hot glue gun, but that's pushing it.

-A first aid kit with bandaids, hand sanitizer, Ibuprofen, and gauze. Feel free to pack more, as this is the bare minimum.

-Any other necessary medications or menstrual products for you or your party members.

-Shampoo and conditioner. These might be provided by the hotel, but better safe than sorry.

-Makeup wipes! Good ones. To wipe off any makeup you were wearing at the con.

-Always have one person in your group with the Essentials Bag. First aid kit, cosplay repair kit, portable phone charger, snacks, water, money, and anything else that might be needed.

-Leave extra room in one of your bags to put anything bought into, then divvy it up at the hotel room.

-Portable entertainment! Card games, books, dice, anything really. As long as it doesn't take up too much space, you're good.

-Notebook or sketchbook. You never know when you might need an autograph, or a sketch, or the name of a business because their cards ran out. Pack a pen and a Sharpie too. Sharpies can write on anything, even those laminated schedule sheets.

-COMFORTABLE shoes. You'll be walking around all the time and your feet will hate you if you're walking around in stilettos. Does not apply to cosplay, but carry a pair of comfortable shoes that you can switch in and out of throughout the day.

-Cash! Yes, everyone uses cards now, but it never hurts to have an extra 20 bucks on you. Keep this money separate from anything you plan on spending at the convention and only use it for emergencies, like a gas refill or over the counter medication.

-If you wear glasses, pack your cleaning cloth.

-Chapstick and lotion. Save your skin.

-An art storage tube. Cylinder things. You're gonna buy some prints and you don't want them bending.

And that's all! If I forgot anything, let me know and I'll add it to the list. Next installment will be: Cosplay Contests- What They Are and How to Enter!

#kingscontips #convention #convention etiquette #convention tips #contips #convention survival kit #long post #cursing tw #caps tw

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hyperpsychomaniac · 4 years ago

Text

Bonding Exercise - Chapter 2

DT 17 Fanfiction

Summary: Scrooge is sick of Della and Launchpad fighting over the Sunchaser, which is costing him money, so he sends them on a 40 hour flight and orders them to sort out their differences.

Chapter 1

***

Scrooge was right. The flight was too long. Having someone to help share the flying sounded like a good idea, but by the time they arrived in Sydney, Della would have happily risked falling asleep at the controls. She finished the power-down checks and then glared across at Launchpad, where he sat in the copilot's seat. "You going to fuel her up, or do I have to do it?"

Launchpad glanced up from his phone and blinked. "Huh?"

"Never mind. I'll do it." Della could just see them taking off and trailing an entire fuel truck behind them.

Launchpad didn't even offer to do it himself, argue or apologise; he just shrugged and went back to playing with his phone. Seriously?

Della stomped off to arrange for the fuel and left Launchpad hunched over in the copilot's seat.

"Complain about never getting to fly. Then spend half the time playing on your phone… what is your deal this week?" Della waited, tapping her foot, as the mechanic chugged fuel into the Cloudslasher. The metal ring of her fake leg on the concrete seemed to unsettle him; he kept glancing her way warily.

By now, she was sure a few hours together, no matter how much they dragged on, would not fix her and LP's issues. And Launchpad didn't seem keen on cooperating. He'd been more interested in his phone. If it had just been Scrooge complaining about a few cents here and there, it wouldn't have irritated her so much. But they'd upset Dewey as well, and she knew Launchpad cared about her son. He could at least try to have a conversation with her. As frustrating as that sometimes was, it would at least mean he was trying too. They'd never patch things up if it was just her doing all the work.

Della's gaze fell on the gauge on the side of the mechanic's truck, and in her flustered state, it took her a few seconds to comprehend the reading and connect it to Scrooge's words earlier. "Hey, slow down, don't overfill her." She jabbed a finger at the rapidly climbing gauge. She could at least get one of Scrooge's instructions right and not get ripped off buying more fuel than they needed to make it home.

The mechanic raised an eyebrow as he looked between Della and the fuel truck. "You sure…"

"Um, yeah. I know how much fuel my aeroplane takes."

The mechanic shrugged his shaggy shoulders and got back into the truck. Well, at least some idiots wouldn't waste their time arguing with her.

Della climbed back into the Cloudslasher's belly and shut the bay door. "Right, we're refuelled, and… are you still playing on that thing? Better send whatever the heck you've been spending so long on. Once we start heading out towards Scrooge's sheep station, you're not going to have any reception."

"Um, yeah, okay."

Della prepared the Cloudslasher for takeoff. Then slammed the throttle full on. They were both thrown back into their seats, and Della couldn't help but smirk as Launchpad yelped and his phone skittered across the floor.

***

As they approached Scrooge's sheep station, Launchpad was at the controls. Della shuffled over to stand behind his chair and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"We're nearly there," Launchpad muttered. By this point, he sounded more tired than irritated.

Della was pretty sure they were both over it. If anything, whether they worked their issues out or not, they'd plain just be sick of bickering. "Good."

"You'd better land her. You don't want me screwing it up."

Della rolled her eyes. Then she squinted out the windshield. "Wait, what the heck is that?" Ahead of them, a red wall of cloud reared up. Its edges churned, and faint flickers of lightning played at its interior.

"Sunchaser, come in," the radio squawked.

Della's eyes narrowed. Launchpad reached for the radio, but Della leaned over his shoulder and snatched up the handset before he could get to it. "This is the CLOUDSLASHER. We read you…

The radio crackled. "Wait, who? We're trying to contact the McDuck plane…"

"Yes, this is the McDuck plane which is, and always will be, called the Cloudslasher. We… what the heck is going on down there?"

"Dust storm, mate. You won't be able to land. You can go into a holding pattern; she should clear soon. Or you could head back…"

Della groaned. "We can't circle up here for hours!"

"Hey, up to you."

"It'll take twice as long to fly all the way out here again if we go back," said Launchpad.

He had a point, and it was the first helpful thing he'd said all trip. Here for a couple hours. Or adding on a whole pile more, including another landing to try fumble their way through together. "We just refuelled; we'll be fine. We'll hold up here. Let us know when it's safe to land? Please."

"Roger. Sheep station out."

Della slumped into the copilot's seat. "Great. More bonding."

Launchpad glanced across at her. "I don't like fighting with you, you know. Even if it wasn't upsetting Mr McDee. And Dewey, but…. I guess that's kind of important."

Dewey. Della sagged back in the seat and let out a tired sigh. Something, someone, they could agree on. Finally, it seemed Launchpad was ready to talk to her. "Yeah. I suppose we could just pretend, right?" she said. "For Dewey's sake? We don't have to be best buds. Just not fight like we did in front of him in the hanger."

They sat quietly for a moment. And then, or all the things Launchpad could've done, he once again pulled out his phone and started tapping away at the screen. Della's eyes narrowed. They'd actually been talking sensibly about Dewey. It was an important topic for both of them and the stupid phone… "There is no reception out here, Launchpad. But you know that, don't you? I get the message, alright? You're not interested in making this work. And I understand if you've got a problem with me; I know I've been harassing you about the plane, and I'm sorry, alright. But what about Dewey? You're supposed to be his best friend."

That brought Launchpad's gaze snapping up to meet hers. "I am his best friend!"

"So what, you've not been trying to ignore me for the entire trip? What's so important on that stupid phone; you got a new girlfriend or something?"

"Mind your own business." Launchpad hefted himself out of the chair and moved over to lean on the railing. The glow of his phone illuminated his creased brow and the darkened cargo bay behind them.

Della took over the controls. "You know," she said through gritted teeth. "You pretend like you’re everybody's friend, but you really don't seem like you want to put in the effort when things get a little tough."

Launchpad ignored her.

***

Three hours later, and Launchpad was still ignoring her. At this point, it was probably for the best. Della couldn't imagine anything he could've said to her that wouldn't result in an argument. He'd ditched the phone, maybe he'd run out of things to do on it without reception, but that hadn't stopped him making it clear he did not want to talk. Now, he had his notebook out on his lap. He sat in the copilot's chair, scribbling and crossing out what he'd written again and again.

Della called the station. Their reply was garbled and crackling, and the storm still showed no signs of clearing. They were probably getting sick of hearing her voice. She hung up the handset and flopped back into her seat. "Maybe we should have just flown back."

Launchpad looked up, pencil hovering over his paper. "Huh? What, you're blaming me?"

Della sighed. "No." She'd call him on ignoring her, but there was no point snapping at him for something she was as much to blame for. "We both made that decision. At least we have plenty of fuel."

Launchpad scowled at his notebook, then flipped it shut and tossed it up onto the console.

It wasn't just her he seemed irritated at, Della realised. Maybe she'd been wrong. Maybe his distraction wasn't intentionally directed at her. "What are you writing anyway?" she asked tentatively. She'd try, just one more time. Both to give Launchpad another chance, but primarily for her son. "Darkwing fanfiction?" It was the only thing Della could think of off the top of her head. But why hadn't she thought of this before? Even if Launchpad was trying to ignore her, she was sure he couldn't resist talking about Darkwing Duck. And Della didn't care squat about it, so she'd have no reason to fight with him over it.

"No, I… never mind." Launchpad got up and looked over her shoulder at the console.

Not the reaction she'd expected. At least he hadn't walked away from her, but Della did not appreciate him hovering. "You know what, this is getting boring. It's your turn. "She grabbed Launchpad's sleeve as she stood up and wrested him in the direction of the seat.

Launchpad gave in and sat down, taking the control yoke in his big hands. Then he closed his eyes and frowned.

"What are you doing now? Don't fly with your eyes closed!"

Launchpad's eyes shot open, and he got up and pushed past her. "I'm going to check the fuel."

"The gauge is is right there! It's…" Della frowned "… still full?"

"She feels a bit light."

Della sat down and tapped the gauge. "Launchpad, did you glue the needle in here?" Out of all the annoying things he'd done today, somehow, this wasn't so bad. She just didn't understand why he did some of the things he did. At least she'd put in the fuel herself. If she'd let Launchpad do it, she'd be real worried right now.

"Felt a bit light…" Launchpad climbed down the ladder to the cargo bay and paused above the fuel tank. He opened a panel in the floor, which shouldn't have opened, but he'd probably modified it so he could easily access the fuel tank. Instead of, you know, simply using the gauge which was right there on the console.

Della punched the gauge, not hard enough to break it, but just give it a really good whack. The needle jerked itself free and dropped. She waited for it to settle. They were probably still above three quarters, at a guess. The needle stayed almost smack down on empty. Maybe that's why he'd glued it; it was broken. Unless she'd just broken it, but Launchpad couldn't really blame her after he'd glued the thing. She leaned over the railing. "Launchpad, why did you put glue in the gauges?"

Launchpad popped his head out of the hatch. "How much fuel did you put in?"

"Why'd you glue the stupid needle in the fuel gauge? Now it's broken! At least I know how much I put in, and she should still be nearly full…"

"The tank's nearly empty. I mean, we've still got a bit, but if that storm doesn't clear like now we'll have to go back, and…"

"Good lord, no, we are not going back. And we don't need to…"

"We're nearly empty!"

Della's hands balled to fists at her side. "I know what I put in! We'd both know if you hadn't screwed with the gauge, why, why do you even…"

"Because it reads low!" Launchpad exploded. "And everyone always leans over my shoulder and says Launchpad we need fuel now, and I tell them she still feels right, and they just tell me Launchpad you don't know how to fly the plane! But I know what it feels like! I glued it so everyone would stop telling me how to fly my plane!"

"The Cloudslasher is mine! I know how much fuel I put in her; she's nearly full!"

Launchpad flung his hands at the hatch. "I know how a fuel tank works. That's how I can tell she's nearly empty."

"Urgh! You're as bad as the mechanic. I know how many gallons my own damn plane takes!"

"Liters."

"We're American, LP. I know how many gallons…" Della slowly lowered her arms. Back at the airport, she'd been in such a fluster. "Oh no."

"Nuh, but I think in Australia they use metric. It's weird. So the numbers on their stuff are different… or the fuel fills up a different space in the tank or something. So I normally just tell them to fill it up. It's less confusing."

Della put a hand to her forehead. "The fuel truck was reading litres. The mechanic put in way less fuel than I thought."

Launchpad's shoulders slumped. "Guess we got to go back."

"Yeah. So I'm stuck with you for even longer."

"Hey, I'm trying to be nice. You were the one who screwed up fueling the plane."

"I would've known if you hadn't messed with my gauges! Seriously? People wouldn't keep telling you you don't know how to read them or tell you you forgot fuel… if you weren't… if you weren't such a bad pilot. Why does Scrooge even employ you!?"

The aeroplane lurched. Della's eyes widened. "Who's flying the plane?"

"You're supposed to be! You're just as bad a pilot as I am, you know that, right? But at least no one's going to fire you because… at least you're actually part of the family!"

"Can we raincheck this?" Della ran back to the console, and Launchpad followed. Della slid into the pilot's seat, grabbed the yoke and steadied the plane. Outside was nothing but red. They were practically on the edge of the storm now, far closer than they'd been when Della had left the controls, and she wasn't sure how either they or the storm had moved so much. The engines whined, louder than usual. The dust couldn't be good for them.

Launchpad gripped the back of the pilot's chair. "I think we gotta put her down! She's getting sandblasted up here."

Della squinted through the windshield. "I know… I know… but I don't know where the ground is."

"You gotta feel it…"

"I would use the gauges, but someone put stickers all over them!"

"Decals! You don't need them."

The Cloudslasher bucked again. "Aw, fooey, we're going to crash." The ground could be inches below them, and they wouldn't know. Or centimetres. Because, you know, bloody metric.

Launchpad huffed. "Yeah, we're going to crash. Big deal. So we may as well do it properly. Now, move." He grabbed Della's shoulders, picked her right up out of the seat like she weighed nothing, and placed her to the side.

"Hey, don't you dare pick me up!"

Launchpad sat down and grabbed the yoke. And then he closed his eyes.

"What are you…"

"Shh."

Launchpad's chest heaved as he took in a deep breath, and then he stilled. Della wasn't sure, but maybe the aeroplane was a little steadier. Relatively speaking. Outside the windshield, red dust ebbed and flowed. And, Della thought she saw a shape. A serpentine form; a snake in the sky. Between the red dust, it seemed to glisten with a rainbow hue.

Della grabbed Launchpad's shoulder. "Um, LP? Maybe you should open your eyes."

"It's too distracting."

"But there's a…"

The impossible flying creature was suddenly upon them, a giant rainbow-coloured snake that slammed into the front of the plane. It dwarfed them. The storm roared, the snake hissed and bucked as it tried to tear itself free of the metal beast that had rammed it. It was like they'd collected an angry fluorescent anaconda on their jeep's windshield. But this completely engulfed the nose of an aeroplane with loops of muscle, scales, and sharp spines.

Launchpad's eyes shot open. "Wha…"

The snake hissed and whipped its body free. The harsh motion triggered the prominent spines along its back, and they shot free and pelted like a hailstorm of arrows towards the windshield.

"Launchpad, duck!" Della hit the deck. A dozen spines punched straight through the glass and slammed into the back of the cargo bay. "What the crap…" Della shot back to her feet. The giant airborne snake was gone. The windshield was punctured by a dozen holes like someone had peppered it with bullets, but thankfully, it had not shattered.

"Hey, Della? You're going to need to crash this for me. I… can't reach the yoke." Launchpad clutched his shoulder. One of the spines stuck out near his hand, and the other end had punctured straight through both him and the back of the pilot's chair.

"Oh shit, LP." Della shot to her feet and put her hand on his arm. "Are you okay?"

Launchpad winced, then took his hand away from the spine and swiped at the yoke. His shoulder seeped red around the spine and into his jacket. "It's okay… I can't really feel it. I just… can't reach. We're losing control again."

Heart pounding, Della moved in front of him and grasped the yoke. Just don't look. She had to concentrate on flying the plane. Landing in one piece was the first priority. But she couldn't read the instruments, and she couldn't see anything… and then she was going to have to deal with that spine in Launchpad's shoulder, and she wasn't even sure how bad it was, and…

Launchpad reached out and squeezed her arm. "Close your eyes. You don't have to keep 'em closed. It'll just give you a chance to feel what the... the Cloudslasher's doing. You can't see outside anyway."

"Okay…" Della closed her eyes. It was certainly less distracting. She tugged the yoke slightly up, lifting the nose of the plane.

"There you go…"

"What about the ground?"

"Hopefully, it's not red too."

Della squinted as she cautiously cracked open her eyes. She wasn't sure, but maybe the hue outside and below them looked darker. She tugged the nose up slightly. The plane let out a crunch of tortured metal, and the impact flung Della into the console.

***

Chapter 3

#ducktales #dt17 #ducktales 2017 #ducktales fanfiction #dt17 fanfic #launchpad #launchpad mcquack #dt17 launchpad #della duck #disney ducks #sorry Launchpad

13 notes · View notes

innermort · 4 years ago

Text

*** disclaimer: this is a very long diary type of entry that is probably quite boring for everyone else and may be ignored. it's merely a very lenghty epiphany I just had about my life and myself and I had to type it out for me, to lock in the thoughts, if you will. it was pretty therapeutic tho. 🙃 ***

10/Sept/2021

I just had the realization that I'm in the process of redefining every aspect of my self and my life.

I quit smoking cigarettes from one day to another exactly 2 months ago tomorrow and went from a heavy to a casual party smoker.

I rarely ever smoke weed anymore (plus when I did since quitting tabacco, I rolled with herbs) and now made the conscious decision to take another long break, so it doesn't interfere with my weight loss again. I get the worst munchies and have no self control when I'm stoned. I'm talking "5000+ cals in one sitting" type of binges. I'm not tolerating this kind of self sabotage anymore.

I re-discovered edblr. Yes. I know. Not the healthiest habit to get back into but it's the only thing that has actually helped me gain the motivation and willpower to put a stop to my raging sugar addiction and instead, an actual effort into losing weight again. Besides, I'm doing it in a much more careful and "responsible" way now (high restricting, taking supplements, no strict/exact calorie limit, very light to no exercise (okay, to be fair the reason for that is mainly my injured knee but still), letting myself eat/drink more than planned if I feel my body needs it). And let's not forget that I've literally been binging every day for the past 2 or 3 months. My diet nearly exclusively consisted of chocolate, pastries and pizza. Literally. I've gained 10 kgs (22lbs) during that time. That lifestyle was just as unhealthy, if not unhealthier.

I finally got to hang up and use my calender. Due to my ADHD (self diagnosed for now), I'm very forgetful and unorganized - at least in my private life. That's why I made the decision to get a big calender which I can use as a semi To Do/Buy list and appointment/meeting/bill reminder. Since I'm glueing a sticker to each day I got through without binging, I'm looking at it pretty much every day anyways. Plus, it's a motivater to not binge (reward that inner child)! Overall, it's helping me become more organized and put together which are two areas I've been lacking in in the past years. So far, I've been mostly using my phone notes but I usually write something down and immediately forget about it if it's not a grocery list or a To Do list I'm actively working through on that same day.

I have my first appointment at a psych ward since I was a teen. It's just a phone call and first get to know conversation but it's better than nothing and more than overdue. I'm finally taking the first steps towards getting diagnosed and being eligible for therapy. I'm sick of feeling like a victim of my own brain, I just want to be better. I deserve to be better.

I'm hungry for knowledge again. I deleted Tiktok from my phone because of how big of a distraction it was and because I realized that even though I'm being bombarded with new information everyday, I'm not learning anything. Our brains can't even comprehend the amount of information given in that short time span. Nothing sticks. Sure, you find out about some pretty cool stuff on TT depending on what kinda fyp you have but for me personally, it was just hours and hours of mindless scrolling in the end. It's crazy how addictive it is, too. Even despite the fact that I was already at a point where it didn't even give me that quick dopamine quick anymore. It felt boring and repetitive and I was merely doing it out of habit.

So, I got rid off the app. I started watching documentaries again. Mostly about gut health and mental illnesses like ADHD, Autism, BPD, Narcissm etc. Like TED talks or interviews/discussions by and with professionals/experts/diagnosed people. I'm back to not just craving but actually consuming something with substance, something that gives me more knowledge and insight on a topic. Something I actually want to know more about.

I realized and accepted that even though I am a creative mind, a fully creative job might just not be for me. I'm learning that maybe I'm the type of person who does something entirely different in their free time than what they do at work. And that that's very much okay. I noticed that at my job (this was the case for every job I ever had), my mind seems to work differently. When people expect me to do something, I have the needed pressure and motivation to get it done. I could also observe in myself that at work, I enjoy organizing/sorting stuff, I'm a fast and independent learner while I'm also excellent at training new employees, I'm much more detail oriented than in my private life - overall, it came to my attention that I might not actually be the ever chaotic forgetful mess who can't form a logic thought - or I can at least recognize that this is merely a part of me and not what defines and limits me as a person. I realized I actually like straightforward work, I like working alone and I like working precisely. When I was younger I would have never used any of these traits to describe my dream career. I would gag at the idea of working an office job and now I feel like this would actually suit me very well. Especially the working alone part would mean feeling less drained at the end of a work day and still having the energy to hang out with people I actually want to see. This is an extremely valuable lesson about myself that I finally seem to have learned.

After this big sub- and now concious evaluation about myself I'm also finally taking actual steps towards a possible career. I bought a course and worked through the first 2 lectures today, taking notes and writing everything down neatly for 3 - 3 1/2 hours (in total with breaks in between). I even got a notebook specifically for this new life project. I'm excited to learn. I feel scared, too. This is something I've never done before but I'm telling myself that trying won't hurt. I have my main job as a safety net, financially nothing can happen to me. I can only learn, even if I fail. And time will pass anyways, whether I get my ass up and put in the work or continue to be unhappy with what I'm doing without trying to change anything.

Speaking of finances, I also started taking those more seriously now. I stopped using my credit card (I was in negative numbers constantly, big numbers like -300 to -800€ due to constant overspending). I set up standing orders for my monthly fixed costs to make sure bills are always paid on time. Due to my forgetfulness and ADHD freeze I would often forget to pay or postpone paying bills until the reminder came in the mail and led to me having to pay on top or generating debt. I still have a little bit of debt to pay off but it's thankfully not a dramatic amount. I also have a second bank account for savings now where I transfer 200€ to every month. Even the simple act of calculating my fixed costs to see how much I can use for what was something that was desperately overdue. What I still have to do is sort out my receipts and write everything down in a housekeeping/budget book. And my first ever tax return. I am very much dreading both of these. 😃

Anyways. Wow. I really needed to type this out. I have the very harmful tendency to look at all the negative stuff and only focus on what I don't have and don't do. I really needed to take a long, deep look at all the things I've been changing around in the past couple months. A lot of it really passed me by until now. It's crazy but I really feel like a complete failure when my body isn't looking its best and it makes me blind for everything else. So, thank you to myself for reminding me that I am actually making a lot of progress, even if it has been in areas other than my fitness and looks. They're just as important (from a healthy brains point significantly more important, obviously) and deserve to be noticed and celebrated.

Conclusion: ❤️✨YAY, ME✨❤️

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nsheetee · 6 years ago

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Wifi

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: Roommate AU || Fluff, slightly crack-ish Length: 2k Warning: one mention of an adult theme, implied female reader Summary: You and Renjun have been rooming together for a while, not knowing of your hidden feelings for each other. Surprisingly, it’s the bad wifi connection in your room that brings you together.

〈〈〈━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━〉〉〉

You sigh for what seems like the umpteenth time that evening, your fingers angrily keyboard smashing on your laptop when the wifi bars at the top of the screen show only one small, weak bar barely hanging on.

Ever since you moved in with your new roommate Renjun, you’ve noticed how every once in a while around 11pm, the wifi in your room goes weak. Being a creature of the night that always gets their homework done during this time, it frustrates you that you have to take small breaks every few minutes for your computer to catch up with the internet connection.

Finally fed up with waiting for your computer to load, you pick up your supplies and march over to Renjun’s room, which is the closest room to the apartment’s wifi router. You knock on the door and after hearing an affirmative, you walk into the room. Renjun is buried under a pile of blankets on his bed with his hoodie pulled up to his lips and the hood over his forehead. The only light in the room is coming from his laptop and he hisses when you turn on the room light.

“Good God, turn that off before you blind me. What do you need?” You turn the light back off and instead turn on Renjun’s desk light, setting your stuff down on top of his abandoned homework.

“Can I finish my homework in here?”

“What’s wrong with your room?”

“The internet’s being dodgy again.” You explain and Renjun silently nods, shutting his laptop and putting his airpods into his ears as he looks through his phone. You sit at his “organized mess” of a desk, open your computer, and sigh contently when the wifi works smoothly.

Renjun peers over his phone to look at you. You’re concentrating hard on whatever paper you’re writing; your pajama shirt is so big that it covers your shorts and your hair is only held in it’s messy bun by a couple of pencils. He can’t see your face, but admiration pools in his chest.

He’s been lovesick for you ever since you interviewed to be his roommate. When you introduced yourself and answered all of his questions in your own quirky way, Renjun just about handed over the lease for you to sign then and there and called off all the other interviews he had that day. Since then, his small crush has grown bigger, but seems to be unnoticed by you. Renjun, instead of doing the obvious thing and confessing, decided to help you find out about his feelings “by yourself.”

Renjun found out that he can manually decrease the bandwidth of the apartment’s wifi just by logging into his internet service provider account online. So, he began to weaken the wifi every few nights around 11pm, when he knew you were doing your homework. Like clockwork, he’d hear your groans of frustration for a few moments before your feet pad over to his room and knock on the door, asking to do your homework in his room.

Was Renjun being ridiculous? Maybe… Was he going to stop this game he has you unknowingly playing? Not until you realize he has feelings for you or he gets enough guts to confess. Renjun sighs dejectedly when he thinks about the likeness of either of those events happening anytime soon. He sinks down further into his nest of blankets in an attempt to stop the feelings from taking over his chest, but to no avail.

Renjun has a total, major, embarrassing crush on his roommate.

〈〈〈〉〉〉

You knock on Renjun’s door once again, sighing when he tells you to enter from inside. You walk in with your books and pens in your hands, your computer haphazardly balanced on top of it all.

“What’s wrong?” Renjun asks from his spot on the floor. His project for his biology class is spread out on the floor; some sort of visual presentation that involves a lot of paper cut outs and glue.

“Internet’s bad.” You look over his work, “Are you actually doing your homework? I didn’t know that was possible.” Renjun glaces up from gluing paper to his presentation, a blank stare on his face. He didn’t manually decrease the bandwidth of the wifi tonight. Are the internet gods smiling down on him and bringing you to him through their own will? He hopes so.

“Those are bold words for someone who needs internet and the only place to get it is in my room.” It’s your turn to give Renjun a blank stare as you drop off your supplies on his desk. “Come here.” He commands. You sit down criss-cross applesauce across from him and he hands you a thick permanent marker.

“Write this here.” He points to a small passage in his notebook and a blank space on the presentation board before moving to glue a different piece of paper.

“Why? I’m not going to do your homework for you in return for wifi. I live here, I pay with this wifi.” You point the marker tip at him but he ignores you, too focused on gluing a piece of paper to the cardboard.

“Once again, this is my room.” You sigh at his stubbornness, deciding to help him just this once. You take time to look around; although you’ve been rooming together for a few weeks now, this is the first time you’ve casually been in his room. The wall above his bed particularly catches your eye; his drawings, the quick doodles that he seems to be proud of, are hanging over his bed. Some are of people he’s seen at the coffee shop he usually hangs out in, some are of your house plants that you bought for the window sill in the kitchen.

Your heart softens when you look back at Renjun; he seems to be hyperfixed on gluing a particular piece of paper to the cardboard, his lips open in concentration and his eyebrows slightly furrowed. You feel courage build up in your chest and your gut fill with fearlessness. This is it. You’re going to confess your feelings for your roommate right here and right now.

“Nice drawings.” You mumble out instead, cursing to yourself in your head when the courage fades.

“Really?” Renjun asks, looking over his shoulder to the drawings. “They’re just doodles…” He tries to sound humble, but you can see the tilt of one side of his lips as he tries to hide his smile.

“Yeah, golden hands, they’re good.” You roll your eyes, deciding to feed his ego. It distracts him long enough to allow you to stand up and escape to Renjun’s desk chair. You start your own homework, a yawn leaving your lips. Maybe tonight isn’t the time to confess your crush on your roommate, but you hope he’ll be able to see the little hints you give of your feelings.

Renjun once again can’t help but stare at your back as you work, not minding that you’re not helping him anymore. He hates that your small, seemingly insignificant comment about his artwork makes his heart pound. He wishes the wifi could stop working by itself more often so he could see you naturally, like he did tonight.

〈〈〈〉〉〉

You don’t knock this time as you enter Renjun’s room, throwing up a peace sign as you close the door behind you and walk to his desk.

“Hey,” He raises his voice. “I get you have homework to do and the internet is weird, but at least knock. What if I was… masterbating in here or something.” He mumbles the last part and you snort.

“I still need to use the internet. So if you’re gonna masterbate anytime soon, please go do it somewhere else.”

“This is my room.” Renjun whines, throwing the drawing pad he was using before you barged in next to him and flopping onto his bed.

“Or so you keep saying.” You tease some more, setting down your supplies on his desk.

Renjun hasn’t touched the wifi bandwidth in weeks for fear that his meddling has caused the wifi to actually turn bad in your apartment. His wish came true: the wifi kept breaking and messing up in your room, all by itself. Now, you were constantly in Renjun’s room doing your homework and although Renjun likes you (literally), he doesn’t like how you welcome yourself in.

You surprise him by laying down next to him; you’re both facing the ceiling, hands on your stomachs and sighs escaping your lips every few seconds. Renjun can’t tell what you’re thinking, he’s too afraid to look at your face for the fear of not being able to quit looking. He doesn’t know if you’re as affected as him by your arm meeting his every time you breath, or if you can sense his thoughts racing at 1,000 miles an hour in his head. He tries to breathe evenly when he catches a whiff of your moisturizer, the one he said he liked a few weeks ago and that you’ve been using everyday since.

“Aren’t you here to do your homework? Why are you laying down?”

“No.” You gulp at the words that are about to leave your lips. “I’m here… for you.” You hold your breath after you finish talking.

“What.”

“The wifi has been working fine for weeks. I’ve been coming here to spend time… with you.” You can’t imagine how Renjun was dense enough to believe that the wifi has been poor almost every night for the past 2 months, but you hope it has something to do with him liking spending time with you. You got tired of waiting for Renjun to pick up your hints and stopped waiting for the wifi to cut out in your room to join him in his-- it’s not like he would ever know if the wifi is actually being dodgy on your side of the apartment.

You’re still nervously waiting for Renjun to say something or to tease you and kick you out of his room and tell you to find a different place to stay and then you’re going to be homeless and then you’ll definitely never have good wifi and then…

Renjun sits up and you don’t let your eyes meet, instead pulling your hood over your head and tightening the strings to hide away from your indirect confession. Renjun untightens the strings and pulls the hood off of you; he looks like he’s about to laugh at you and it makes you nervous.

“You’re a fool. I was the one that was cutting out your wifi.” His words make you sit up straight. Your jaw unhinges as embarrassment floods you. You thought you were only going to confess your feelings tonight, not the fact that you’ve been sneakingly lying to Renjun to hang out with him every night.

Renjun starts laughing and in your flustered state, you pick up his forgotten drawing pad and hit him with it. Renjun only laughs harder at your reaction, clutching his shoulder. He’s partially laughing because of the dumb situation you got yourselves in, but also out of joy because you just confessed your feelings to him.

“You! Do you know how angry you made me? I couldn’t get any of my work done for weeks.” You yell. You’re sure the neighbors could probably hear your mixed voices, but you don’t care. “Why did you purposefully cut out the wifi?” You groan.

“Because I knew you would come to my room if I did.” Renjun confesses, leaning back on his bed with his hands. Your heart soars at his words; it’s what you’ve wanted him to say to you for so long. You raise the drawing pad to hit him again but he catches it, fingers covering yours as he stops your second attack. You let him pry the pad out of your hands and he drops it to a different corner of the bed.

“C’mere, dummy.”

“Who are you calling a dummy?”

“You. Now get over here so I can finally kiss you senseless.”

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petersasteria · 5 years ago

Text

My Angel - Tom Holland

Pairing: Tom x Osterfield!Reader

Requested? Yes! By @petersholland

Hamilrequest #37

“I may not live to see our glory...”

Since you’ve been gone, Tom has been struggling to be the perfect single father out there. He claimed that he didn’t need any help even though everyone can see that he needed it. Tom wanted to figure things out for himself and while that’s great, he knew it was okay to ask help from time to time. Although he knew this, he still refused to ask for help.

Your two children have been Tom’s top priority and it was hard for him to be a single father and an actor at the same time. Your youngest, Khalil, started kindergarten and your eldest, Megan, started year 3 and Tom didn’t want to ruin that especially when she told him that she loved every single second of school.

Today was one of those days where Tom felt like shit, because he missed Megan’s talent show and he accidentally threw Khalil’s ‘gift’ for him (which was just crumpled tinfoil covered in glue and blue glitter). He honestly didn’t know what to do, because you weren’t there to help him.

“Fuck deadly illnesses.” he said to himself out loud.

Tom couldn’t sleep so, he decided it’d be the best time to finally store away your things in the boxes he bought and labeled two months ago. He didn’t have the heart to put away your things before, because he knew he would break down as soon as he would open your closet.

Tom stood up from his desk and walked to the corner of the room where the boxes were stacked. He took the top one that was labelled “TO KEEP” in bold letters.

He set the box on the floor at his side of the bed. He walked to the closet and opened it with a heavy sigh. He took all of your clothes that were hung and threw them on the bed. Next, he grabbed your folded shirts and put them on the bed as well. He went back to close the closet but he stopped when he found a notebook that he’s never seen before. He took it and closed the closet.

He sat on the bed opened the notebook and read the first page: Y/N’s Thoughts.

He chuckled and flipped to the next page.

Note to self: Use this notebook to write down important stuff. It’s like a diary, but at the same time it isn’t. This might come in handy for marriage and parenting x

“Maybe she got this when we were engaged.” Tom said to himself as he flipped through every page. He found little anecdotes and a few marriage tips that you thought would help. He also found the recipe to his favorite dish and he remembered the time you cooked it for him.

He also found what you wrote after Megan was born.

Note to self: Omg Tom and I are officially parents! This means it’s time to lose sleep. Tom and I got this under control, though. We have each other ALWAYS. Haz wished us luck and honestly? We’re going to need that. Charlotte was really happy that it was a girl, because it meant she won the bet between her and Haz. Can’t believe those two made a bet, but I love them. Future Y/N, make sure you do the same when they have kids x

Tom read this and didn’t try to hold back his tears. He flipped through more pages and he eventually reached the time Khalil was born.

Note to self: Tom and I are parents again! Being a parent is tiring and draining, but I love it. I don’t know if Tom loves being a parent, but I think he does. He’s a great father and I have no doubt that he’ll be a great father to our son x

Tom smiled at that. There were times when he would doubt himself, but you would always be there to assure him that he’s doing an amazing job as a husband and father. It just hurts that you wouldn’t be there to remind him that anymore.

Tom flipped through more until he reached a letter addressed to him.

Dearest Tom,

By the time you read this letter, you know that I’m gone. We both know that I wouldn’t live that long as soon as we found out that I was sick. I just want to say thank you for keeping me happy especially on my final days when I felt that I was going to go already.

You’re the best husband I could ever ask for. Seriously. I know you have your doubts, but please keep in mind that you’re the best husband and father. I will forever keep that on my mind and heart. The kids and I are so lucky to have you. Now that I’m gone, I trust you to take care of the kids.

I want you to raise them like we planned. Although I won’t be around to see them for all their successes and first milestones, I trust that you do whatever it is that’s good for them and will continue on doing so until they’re old enough to stand on their own.

This notebook can help you through anything and everything. There are some recipes here for you and the kids. There are also tips.

Khalil hates broccoli. Slice the broccoli into tiny tiny pieces and put it in his food. Trust me. He won’t notice a thing. Keep it a secret between you and me, okay? Make sure he finishes his food, because we both know he doesn’t finish his food. Read him bedtime stories. If you go to the back part of this notebook, I made a schedule of his bedtime stories of what you should read on a specific day.

Megan loves going to the playground every Saturday morning. Take her there for at least an hour and a half. Watch her closely, okay? One time she pulled another girl’s hair when she didn’t get her turn at the swing. So please watch her. After that, take her out for ice cream. Her favorite ice cream flavor is strawberry.

Keep Taco Tuesday alive, Tom. Cut up some fruits and pack it in their lunch. They love it. I suggest you cut up the fruits before you go to bed and put them in a Tupperware and put it in the fridge.

Tom, just because I left doesn’t mean that I want to. When it’s time to go, it’s time to go. Please know that if I live long, I’d spend it with all of you. But even if my time on Earth was cut short, I believe that even if without me by your side, the three of you will be able to withstand all the problems our family will face. I know you’re strong. I know you can push through anything, Spidey.

Always remember that you’re not alone. I will always be here in every decision you’ll make. From the moment I said my vows, I put my faith and trust into whatever it is that’s good for your family and for our marriage.

I pray that the Lord will always guide you and keep you out of harm’s way. I also pray that you won’t forget that you live for our children now. You’re the anchor that keeps them steady.

Just because I’m gone doesn’t mean that my love for you is gone too. Don’t ever forget how much I love you. If you need a reminder of how much I love you, I kept my diary from before we started dating. It’s around the house somewhere. My embarrassing diary entries are written there about how much I love you and how much I freaked out when you asked me out when we were 17.

If you ever find someone that makes you and our children happy, go for it. You have my blessing. I’m not sure if I’m okay with it. Maybe I’ll be jealous or not. Depends HAHAHA! All jokes aside, I love you enough to let you be with someone new who makes you happy.

I will always love you and I only want what’s best for you and the kids.

‘Til we meet again, love.

Forever yours, Y/N xx

The very next day, Tom went to visit your grave after taking the kids to school. He had your notebook with him when he got out of the car. He walked to your grave and sat in front of it in silence. He hasn’t been visiting, because of the pain. He saw a bouquet of fresh flowers and smiled.

“Harrison visited you, I see. You know, he misses you so much. He actually visited us last week. He said he missed the kids so he took them to the zoo.” Tom said.

“So, um, I know you’re listening. I found your notebook last night and it really helped me. Everything has been shit recently and your letter really helped me. I also did the fruits thing after reading your letter last night. It really saved some time this morning. No wonder you sleep late.” Tom chuckled.

“I just came here to tell you that I won’t let you down and I’ll do my best to be a single dad to our kids. Also, the dating someone new thing? I don’t think I’m going to be up for that. You and the kids are enough for me and I meant what I said when I told you that you’re the only one for me.”

“I really miss you, Y/N. The letter made me realize that it’s totally okay to move on, because I know you’ll be here by my side. It’s also reassuring that you still love me, because that’s enough for me to be strong.”

Tom stood up and brushed the dirt off his pants, “When we first started dating, I told you that you were my angel. You really are my angel, Y/N. Between you and me, you’re the real hero. I just play one.”

“I’ll see you soon, yeah? I promised your brother I’ll meet up with him at the park today to walk Tessa and Monty.” Tom smiled. “I love you.”

He walked back to the car and felt a gust of wind blow in his direction. He didn’t know if he was hallucinating or not, but he could’ve sworn he felt the wind embrace him and he could’ve sworn he smelled your perfume. It caused him to stop in his tracks and close his eyes to feel the moment that only lasted a few seconds, but to him it felt like minutes.

When it was gone, he opened his eyes and smiled to himself, because he knew it was you telling him and showing him that you loved him.

* * * *

this took me two days to write bc i wasn’t in the right state of mind to write some angst yesterday and yes, this was supposed to be out yesterday sksks

𝐓𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @abrielleholland @peachmaybnx @superheroesaremytea @ella-whyte

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell @justasmisunderstoodasloki @rubberducky-jrr @petersholland @osterfieldnholland @miraclesoflove

#tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shots #tom holland one shot #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x osterfield!reader #k's hamilton requests #in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh

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