#maybe bad advice

[blazing-butterfly]

... ok I'm honestly thinking this could be a good guideline to ensure my setting grabs and holds my interest from multiple angles (which hopefully means it'll hold the reader's interest too), is that a bad sign?

3 components of worldbuilding:

1. The author’s kinks

2. The author’s power fantasy

3. The author’s political agenda

Plot and logic optional

[markscherz]

Dear Dr Scherz,

i'm a British high School student and im coming into the point of my life where i need to narrow down to 3-4 subjects for A-Levels (thats post 16 education basically which leads to uni) and im really struggling because i like learning about lots of things and i was just wondering if you had this problem or had any advice for me on how to narrow down? I apologize because this is a bit random for your blog but i'd like to know what other people's career paths were?

thank you!!!

I had the opposite problem; I had a very specific interest (reptiles and amphibians and Madagascar), and found almost all of my school subjects painfully boring and tedious as a result. So, unfortunately I am not really in a position to advise, except in general:

try to find something that excites you, and makes you want to read and think and talk about it. The kind of thing that makes friends groan when you bring it up again. Because that is what you will be doing for three or four years as you go into your Bachelor's. And then maybe a year or two more for your Master's. And if you like that, then maybe another three or four years for a PhD. And if you are crazy enough to stick with it, possibly another thirty to forty years thereafter as you either move into academia, or go off to apply what you know elsewhere. But also maybe not! Because you are young and flexible and there are many interesting and exciting things in the world, and it is okay to start with one thing, realise it is not your thing, and try other things! Variety is the spice of life.

You don't have to have it all sorted now. Maybe it's easiest to figure out what you definitely do not want to do. And that can inform your choices.

Oh and you can also go and watch loads of CrashCourse videos and similar over on youtube to get a feeling for the kind of things they do across a variety of subjects, and a sense for what you like and dislike.

Good luck!

[pinkkevlar]

So, if you are feeling like you wish you could do more to help, given the state of the world, here are some things I've learned over the years: Just surviving can be enough of a fuck you. If that's all you have energy for, then you are modeling how to stay alive and that's valuable. If you need help and you ask for it, then you are modeling asking for help and that it is okay to not be alone in your pain. This too is radical and you are helping However, I get that you may want to do more/have the energy to do more. Here are some questions that I've found helpful over the years when my limited energy ass wants to try to do more to fight the machine: What am I already doing that's making the world a better place? What seems easy for me to do? Note: this one is not about what's easy for other people or what you think should be easy but what is actually easy (yes, I've fallen for this trap) Where does my passion fuel me? Can I use that passion to help? Who is already asking for my help and is it sustainable to help them? How can I help myself/ask for the help I need now so that I can be a sustainable resource in the future/mitigate my need to be rescued later? We all have different skills, ability, passions and I find that trusting that we are each different means that different things can get addressed opens me up to do what I am actually good at and what I can do more of rather than wasting all of my energy tyring to do things that I have no interest in and I am bad at. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to optimize just because your energy is limited. Just making a small impact can spread much father than you can imagine.

[jarnt8]

How am i supposed to take your serious reblogs seriously when you switch to being brain dead in 2.5 seconds

Well I'm literally like that in real life so I'm glad that comes through on my blog.

But to answer your question, my advice is to try and not take anything too seriously.

[stump-not-found]

mabel pines #1 hater

[crashmenagerie]

Sometimes you just need to flood yourself with many different types of social interactions to drown out the ones that make you anxious.

[parasocial-paradox]

"Heart-eyes Howell" actually common misconception. Dan perceives the audience and/or real human faces via refraction [1] off the Phil, who effectively functions as a wireless conduit for his thoughts, paradoxically dampening intelligence via blonde photo-resistor and amplifying homosexual signals through the mirrored perception of the self. [2]

References: [1] one-quarter of an engineering degree

[2] trust me bro

[bennetsbonnet]

Much has been made of Mr Darcy's "confession" to Elizabeth that he does not converse easily with strangers. It is repeatedly used to support neurodivergent interpretations of his character. And I suppose that when taken at face value, a character confessing that they do not easily converse with strangers and struggle to catch their tone or appear interested in conversation can absolutely scream AUTISM! (I say as an autistic person myself)

But this line is often taken in isolation. When considered in terms of the passage in which it appears in Chapter 31, it appears far less of a smoking gun than may initially be suspected. After some discussion about Elizabeth and Darcy's prior acquaintance in Hertfordshire, Colonel Fitzwilliam asks Elizabeth for information about Darcy's behaviour there. She readily supplies it:

'Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of,' cried Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'I should like to know how he behaves among strangers.' 'You shall hear then—but prepare yourself for something very dreadful. The first time of my ever seeing him in Hertfordshire, you must know, was at a ball—and at this ball, what do you think he did? He danced only four dances, though gentlemen were scarce; and, to my certain knowledge, more than one young lady was sitting down in want of a partner. Mr Darcy, you cannot deny the fact.' 'I had not at that time the honour of knowing any lady in the assembly beyond my own party.'

What Darcy leaves out here is that it was he himself who chose not to be introduced to anybody. As we learn from the description of his behaviour at the Meryton assembly in Chapter 3:

Mr Darcy danced only once with Mrs Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party.

Anyway, Elizabeth correctly does not buy his excuses. Not only does she respond with a cutting sarcastic remark, but she tries to bring the discussion with an end by speaking to Colonel Fitzwilliam:

'True; and nobody can ever be introduced in a ball-room. Well, Colonel Fitzwilliam, what do I play next? My fingers wait your orders.'

But Darcy does not get the hint and continues conversing with Elizabeth rather than quitting while he's ahead. However, I don't believe him to be missing a social cue here. Rather, this is an exceedingly conceited man who cannot conceive that anyone would not want to speak to such a Superior Being as he and more-so, is determined to defend himself from a perceived slight against his impeccable character.

Then we come to the passage containing the oft-cited line which allegedly contains proof of his neurodivergency:

'Perhaps,' said Darcy, 'I should have judged better, had I sought an introduction; but I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers.' 'Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this?' said Elizabeth, still addressing Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill-qualified to recommend himself to strangers?' 'I can answer your question,' said Fitzwilliam, 'without applying to him. It is because he will not give himself the trouble.'

Once again, Elizabeth does not buy his excuse for even a single second. She's fully aware of all the advantages a man such as he will have received in society (opportunities not open to women, might I add!) and draws attention to that fact. It's a brilliant, cutting line from her and she really set that one up for Colonel Fitzwilliam to deliver the knockout blow.

Not only do we have the testimony of Mr Darcy's cousin, that 'he will not give himself the trouble,' to appear cordial to strangers, but we have evidence from Wickham too. Although after this statement, Wickham quickly goes onto misrepresent Darcy's kindness to the poor, which contradicts Mrs Reynold's later testimony, I do believe Wickham to be telling the truth (for once!) here, when he tells Elizabeth in Chapter 16:

'Mr Darcy can please where he chooses. He does not want abilities. He can be a conversible companion if he thinks it worth his while.'

Which, again, demonstrates that Darcy is capable when he wants to be. That is the crucial point. Autistic people fundamentally lack the ability to understand social cues, they cannot turn it on and off as they please because they are snobs.

So, now we come to the infamous line about Darcy's supposed social struggles, and I hope that I've provided enough context to the line to make you see that it should not be taken at face value:

'I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,' said Darcy, 'of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.' 'My fingers,' said Elizabeth, 'do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women’s do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault—because I will not take the trouble of practising. It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman’s of superior execution.'

Again, Elizabeth is not buying his excuses for even a single second and tells him if he feels like that, maybe he should put the effort in. She has seen him in numerous social settings and been thoroughly unimpressed with his behaviour which, when you consider his rudeness to her at the Meryton assembly, she has every right to be.

So, what do I make of the line?

Well, I think it's abundantly clear that Darcy absolutely can speak to people when he wants to. Perhaps, in his mind, he struggles to make that deeper connection and make friends easily. But making friends is not always easy, it's a process you must invest time and effort into. If you do not do that, it stands to reason that you will struggle. Plus, if you hold others to ridiculous standards (as Darcy does) without recognising and fixing the flaws within yourself, you're not going to have deep, lasting friendships.

While this quote may appear to be a moment of vulnerability where he does confess a fault of his, which is astounding given his pride, personally I do not think it was not a soul-searching exercise. It was to make Elizabeth stop grilling him. It was self-serving. Although, I don't think he's entirely lying. Darcy is veeeery careful with his words and though this statement is not considered and perhaps comes out rather abruptly, it doesn't necessarily follow that it isn't true. I can imagine that it is probably something he's felt for a while, yet it is a rather desperate attempt to defend himself from a woman who sees right through him.

I think perhaps Darcy does realise that he isn't as naturally gifted as other men he knows (such as Wickham, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr Bingley) when it comes to forming acquaintances. However, he looks outwards and turns that bitterness against the world rather than looking inwards, reflecting upon himself and improving his manners which would be the correct thing to do. Thankfully, he later does this, but it took him twenty eight years...

In addition, Darcy appeared to have been under the illusion that he could coast by on Pemberley's reputation... which has always worked... until he met Elizabeth. For perhaps the first time, he encounters a woman who is not awestruck by him and his reputation and delivers the rebuke that he always needed.

So, while personally I'm inclined to believe there is some truth to his statement, as Mr Darcy is many things but he isn't a liar, I think it is said in desperation. His feeling stems from him knowing what he should do, but he can't be bothered to enact it... rather than any inherent social deficiency stemming from being neurodivergent.

Although, even if he does struggle socially, it's still no excuse for the rudeness he displayed to Elizabeth! My main issue with neurodivergent readings of Darcy is when they are deployed to defend his behaviour, when they attribute his rudeness to any potential neurodivergency and when they excuse his laziness. That is an awful message! Autistic people who struggle with social cues often do not, nor should they, go around insulting others. They should and often do put plenty of effort into being considerate and polite. In fact, I think, if anything, a love of rules makes us more likely to have good manners, rather than the reverse.

Ultimately, I'm not sure this line makes Mr Darcy the sympathetic-poor-sweet-innocent-shy-boy-autistic-representation that people want him to be. In fact it makes him look even worse, if anything. On matters such as these, he is every inch the conceited proud man he was widely believed to be at the Meryton assembly. Luckily, Elizabeth is an incredibly smart woman, who doesn't fall for it and immediately calls him out on his behaviour in a way that he has never experienced before. As she should!

[leupagus]

On Voting in America

So one of the most profound comments on routine chores that I've ever encountered was, hilariously, the Pickle Rick episode of "Rick & Morty," where (after a lot of shenanigans have already ensued) this therapist absolutely lays Rick out:

"I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is: it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work. And the bottom line is some people are okay going to work and some people, well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose."

I think about this at least once a week — usually while I'm doing my laundry or sweeping or some other task that needs doing and won't get me anything more than clean clothing or a dog-hair-free floor. There's no Pulitzer for wiping down your microwave or scrubbing your toilet; no one's awarding you for getting all the dishes out of the sink. At best you have the satisfaction of crossing it off your list.

Voting is very much the same (and I'm talking about the US here, as an American). Sure, you sometimes get a sticker; but nobody's going to cheer for you. There's no adventure here, no potential for anything more than crossing something off of a list. It's a chore, something that needs doing in order to repair, maintain, and yes even clean. So I get why people don't like doing it.

And I've decided I don't give a shit.

Do it anyway. Your country takes astonishingly little from you — taxes, the once-in-a-blue-moon jury duty, and a theoretical draft that hasn't been used in over half a century and likely will never be again — but it asks you (asks! not requires! not demands!) to vote once or twice a year. It's not always easy; especially in conservative states, the impediments to vote can be ridiculous. But it is once a year and unlike in our nation's all-too-recent past, you will not die if you do it.

In fact, the worst outcome from voting these days is that the person or issue that you vote for loses — but you won't know if they lose until after the election. Polls are less accurate now, for a whole host of reasons; you cannot know until after the election who or what will win. This makes your vote more valuable than possibly ever before.

Use that power. Not because it's exciting or even rewarding, but because your vote is what keeps our country's metaphorical teeth from falling out and our metaphorical ass from stinking.

Brush, wipe, vote.

[sparklerstyle]

i'm unwell

[tiredandoptimistic]

I'm thinking thoughts about Agent Curt Mega today. Specifically him at the end of Doing This, when Tatiana ends their kiss. I highly doubt that he's ever come out to anyone other than the men he's slept with, and he's still too afraid to say it out loud. But it's not just that he explains through a euphemism ("you're not my type"), it's that when Tatiana tries to say it more plainly he cuts her off ("so you're into-" "yeah"), because he can't even handle hearing it from her. He is fully expecting her to hate him for being gay, and when she doesn't, and just continues the conversation as normally as she can, even saying she still wants to be his friend, he is blown away by positive emotions because this man has probably never had a real friend before. It's just so.

What I love about the ending of the musical, when Curt kills Owen, is that he realizes that he deserves better. He realizes that his relationship with Owen isn't worth fighting for, and that his friendships with Barb and Tatiana are. And that's really meaningful to me, seeing platonic love held up as a happy ending and romantic love acknowledged as fallible.

[nodulemodule]

@thefakehedgehogaroundhere the brain worms wouldn’t leave me alone

[quilleth]

Bioware made a mistake bringing Isabela back for da4 because like hell she wouldn't tell the entire da2 crew about what's happening with Solas which means they'd all show up ready to curb stomp him about Varric. Even moreso if hawke was left in the fade. That's two of their number down because of this fucker. Also Merrill should get to deck him specifically while also being like "what, like it's hard?" about fixing the eluvian that was blighted and cost her two of her closest childhood friends (potentially), her place in her clan, and her home. Again, going back far enough, because of him.

I just miss them 🥺

[naamahdarling]

Today was a bad tummy day and I lost half of it to feeling yucky and feverish even after the poop tornado. I hate IBS. It's the worst thing that isn't on the list of actual worst things that are worse than it. From a scale of kittens to having IBS, IBS is at a solid emotional 11.

[strongestbanner]

YOOOOOO I got my first Marvel Legends, HE'S SO HANDSOME WTFFF

You can't imagine how much I love Victor from Earth-295 😭💕

Hugs and love for y'all uwu~

[souenkun]

I loooove the jp fandom's headcanon that geeta and larry are childhood friends who met during their time in the academy and, sometime in the future, geeta personally recruited larry to work for the paldean pokemon league, as she must be one of the first people who knew of his prowess in pokemon battling! Like yeah, the whole geeta being a "strict boss who is frustrated by larry's stubborn insistence to be an average worker that she has to assign him different workloads just to broaden his horizon" idea is intriguing, but stepping it up a notch by making geeta be the "best friend a.k.a the only one who has seen larry at his very best and his very worst, and knows for a fact that he could excel at anything he put his mind into if he steps out of his comfort zone, so she doesn't particularly drag him out of said zone, but pushes him out of it each time she can because she can't bear to see her best friend be unaware of the good chances and positive things that awaits him out there, not if she has a (small) say in it" is also downright hilarious 😭🤚