#maybe he was the reason the person closest to /her/ died....

[liquidstar]

anyway if there is another bracket after ivan vs till... it would come down to either till vs luka or ivan vs luka. which is why i think ivan is going to die next round (assuming it goes normally) because.... it holds a lot more emotional weight for till to go against luka as of rn, since till believes luka is responsible for mizi's death. i dont think he saw that she was saved, all he knows is that luka was taunting her to the point that she snapped and beat the shit out of him. so.... i think he'd be a little mad LOL. and luka would be the type to try and leverage that...

[sashisuse]

okay so what we’re not going to do is villainize shoko.

jjk 261 spoilers, thoughts, and a brief analysis of shoko. (and touching on some sashisu stuff. more specifically the sash part.)

i see a lot of people bashing her for not having a reaction to the body swapping plan and that satoru was like ‘i’m mostly surprised shoko didn’t object’ SO. here’s what i’ve got to say.

shoko didn’t object because she was fully under the belief that satoru was going to win. that it wasn’t going to happen. it was literally the worst worst worst WORST case scenario. she had SO MUCH faith in satoru.

let’s rewind back to the shibuya arc. what we knew about shoko at that time regarding her use of cigarettes was that she had quit five years (iirc) prior to those events. her smoking habits literally revolve around satoru’s wellbeing.

mind you this was after she and yaga learned satoru had been sealed. she heard the news and immediately began smoking. why? because shoko is a person who masks her emotions and she does it well. she’s not the type of woman to break down in tears. she’s going to hide it and instead light up a cigarette.

we saw this with her interaction with suguru. she acted very nonchalant about his defection and the massacre he committed on the village and his parents. but when we fast forward ten years and go to jjk0, it’s made abundantly clear that she still cares about him. during the meeting where yaga declares they’re going to kill suguru — i’m pretty sure his words were ‘exorcise the curse that is geto suguru’ or something along those lines — shoko leaves. she flat out walks out. and during the night parade of 100 demons, we have a moment where see the most emotion out of shoko that we have for the majority of the series. she’s angry. she’s hurt. she has these thoughts of something along the lines of like ‘you sure made a mess for us’ regarding suguru. and it’s especially prominent because it’s the first time we’ve ever seen her like this and only time. the closest we get to seeing that again is during the sukuna fight.

she literally cares so much but she’s just emotionally constipated and doesn’t know how to show it 😭 it’s an issue both she and satoru have. they deflect. they mask. they move on and yet the carry it with them somewhere deep inside them.

so we go back forward to satoru and sukuna’s fight. where we do see emotion from shoko but what’s most important to note is the panels she’s in. when they focus on her, she’s either smoking a cigarette, lighting a cigarette up, or we see her surrounded by cigarette butts.

we see her genuinely fearful at this point. she had full confidence that satoru was going to win. that’s why she said ‘do what you want’ and didn’t object. because in her mind, it wouldn’t happen.

it’s very important to remember that sashisu, whether you see it in a romantic or platonic way, was a group that cared so fucking deeply for one another. their bonds were deep. their love for their found family was deep. it’s part of the reason why suguru defected in the end. which i can get it into but not at this time. but at the end of the day, sashisu had ass communication skills and failed to properly understand one another.

and that seems to continue on with the satoshoko side of that, which was left after suguru left. and after he died.

also, it’s really important to remember that shoko is not like satoru and suguru. she’s a healer. that’s it. that’s all she does. she doesn’t get to fight or be on the front lines like they do. she’s the one who gets to wait behind and wait until the damage is done to do her job. she’s been doing this since she was (probably) 15, maybe even younger since we don’t know her backstory. she’s going to be emotionally detached. also, keep in mind this page:

specifically her first piece of dialogue. ‘it’s more like we have to do it.’

and that’s the bottom line.

whew. this was rough. shoko ieiri you will always be loved by me.

[falllpoutboy]

the ritualistic humiliation of alicent this season was absolutely disgusting and the show constantly needed to remind us that she is the character we should root against all the time and never feel bad for her, everyone else gets a pass because they’re a slave to fate, apparently, but not her. nearly every single plot point this season regarding her is swiftly followed by a punishment, whether literally or narratively.

she starts this season by having clandestine consensual sex with criston cole her sworn sword. they are so bad at being clandestine that otto and larys have clearly suspected something is going on with them. after being stood up by her, larys then replaces her regular lady’s maids with some from his staff so that they can spy and report back to him which makes alicent uncomfortable enough to send them away. that’s punishment #1

she and criston are having sex when b&c happens and are interrupted by helaena and jaehaera running in. but remember, jaehaerys was not the original target of b&c, and the mastermind behind it, daemon is redeemed by the end of this season, so alicent is so much of a POS hypocrite that while she too busy having sex with the LC of the kingsguard, her grandson dies on HER watch. and as much as i loved alicole, i really hate that the writers used their relationship to seemingly punish the characters when they literally haven’t done anything wrong. and now helaena knows about the affair too. punishment #2

alicent is confronted by rhaenyra at the sept of baelor, who lets slip that she heard viserys push for aegon to be king as his last words to her. but oh no, silly alicent, rhaenyra is here to tell you about the song of ice and fire, this stupid prophecy that has been passed from Targaeryen king to heir for generations now. how would alicent have known about it when she is neither king nor heir? doesn’t matter, she’s stupid for believing his words to be literal and stupid for playing a part in crowning her son. punishment #3

alicent takes moon tea, as an abortifacient or as a late contraceptive, we’ll never know! but the very act of taking moon tea is now perceived by grand maester orwylle, who now also has reason to suspect queen alicent has been having an affair. punishment #4

bitter and disillusioned with herself for not knowing about a stupid fucking prophecy nobody told her about and letting her horrible son aegon be crowned (even though the council was planning on installing him anyways), alicent talks down to aegon by reminding him he’ll never be as good of a king as his father (L O L) and he should do nothing. such a rousing speech leads to aegon getting drunk, flying out into battle on his dragon and getting maimed because of it. why did you say such mean things alicent? now look what you did. punishment #5

back at the small council, alicent advocates for herself to be regent with only one person there to agree with her, grand maester orwylle but not even her lover and closest confidant advocates for her. the son she is scared of the most becomes regent instead. silly alicent, don’t you know you will never be respected in a room full of men? how do you like misogyny, something you have apparently never personally experienced until this day, now? punishment #6

alicent goes to the sept of baelor to pray with helaena when a riot mob happens and is forced to retreat. this mob is apparently so righteously angry at not having enough food, they throw fish in her face with such good aim and call her the queen of fishes, alicent trips and falls for leaving helaena behind momentarily, and she also receives a bloody gash on her arm before barely escaping with her life and helaena. oh alicent, didn’t you know that the blockade of ships that carries food into the city which has been enforced by rhaenyra and corlys has actually been your fault the entire time?? punishment #7

back at the small council, alicent confronts aemond and is relieved by her duty on there by him. maybe its because she brings up a theory that he is now avenging the bullying he went through when he was young, which one could argue happened on her watch, is why she gets the boot. oh well, there goes any little ruling power and say in the war effort she had left. punishment #8

alicent sees off her brother ser gwayne who makes mention that their father otto kept her closer to him than gwayne because she was his favored child. Oh! so because alicent was otto’s favorite, it doesn’t really matter that he sold her into marriage and marital rape at age 14 last season. why would you ever want to be otto hightower’s favorite child? punishment #9

alicent also asks about daeron, with gwayne saying how unlike to aegon and aemond he is because he was raised away from them in Oldtown and not by her.. she even says this and gwayne dissuades her of that opinion but honestly, once alluded to that alicent is a bad mom, it’s just her biased brother claiming otherwise. punishment #10

[welcometogrouchland]

It's mostly the fault of poor editorial practices that B&R is so heavily misaligned continuity-wise w/ the main batman book. But walk with me for a minute:

You are Damian Wayne. You are 14 years old and have had one of the worst years of your life last year. Which is saying a lot.

Your brother, one of the people you were closest to, got shot in the head and forgot who you were. Your best friend went to space for a week and came back 3/4 years older than you, taking away your previously established dynamic and leaving you to have to bond all over again w/ a new one. You may or may not have gone wayyy too far with your new superhero team, who now all hate you, because you fucked up big time*

And worst of all, when you do try to do the right thing, you end up forced to watch Alfred, a father figure to you, the only one at your birthday that year, the person who has been so patient, loving and trusting with you, even when you probably didnt deserve it...die. you watch him die, and feel it's all your fault.

And your dad never corrects you on that last point. So you run away.

First to your mom who can tell something's up with you, she knows you don't give up that easy, you decide not to stay with her because you remembered how actually, neither of your parents are good at communicating with you despite their best efforts, so now you're 14 and flying solo.

And you do fly solo. For a while. Make new friends, new enemies. You think you're better off for it. You've got your best friend and your brother back. They're not around as much. It's fine.

And eventually your dad tells you that it's not your fault that Alfred died. Bit late but it's appreciated. Really. There's a bit of a hiccup where you get possessed by a demon and wage war against your father but after that, all in all, you two are...together again.

You start to think maybe you want to give him another chance, for the two of you to be father and son.

And in a change of pace, it works out! It's going good, mostly. He insists you go to highschool, you resist, feel like he wants you to be something that you're not (wants you to be normal), but eventually you acquiesce for your own reasons. He cheers you on at soccer and nosies around at your fundraising events with the other parents and gives you a stern talking to about your choice of girlfriend. Because he cares.

Except all the while this is going on, your dad is currently having his brain slowly taken over by an evil version of himself that he created and every time you look away he's slowly tearing your family apart (your brothers are just barely keeping it together. The ones who didn't get lobotmized that is Jesus Christ). You keep taking his side in these conflicts, for whatever reason. Maybe because he promised it would be different this time, and it isn't** and you're going to stick with him until he keeps his word for once.

But at the end of the day?

It's like your brother says. You're not the one who saves him. Broadly speaking, you've made things worse and needed others to come save you. And what else is Robin really for? You thought it was about redemption and teamwork but guess you're wrong. It's about saving your self destructive, apparently two-faced and erratic father. And you can't even do that right.

* TT (2016) by Adam Glass is a racist ooc mess, but unfortunately it's still canon so I'm referencing here, though like a lot of works authors clearly wish weren't canon but are, it's been subsequently glossed over. Win? Maybe? Or not?

** again Zdarky's characterization of Damian is so outdated as to be ooc, and considering the way he constantly and explicitly uses it to illustrate Tim's strengths as robin, I'd argue there's. Also implications there. But the batshit insanity of the main batbook compared to B&R rn is crucial for this post, so I'm attempting to justify it. This time..

[tenleaguesbeneath]

There's an interesting moral dilemma I remember from MechWarrior 4: Vengeance, where the horns of the dilemma come from having multiple competing ethical systems pointed at you.

The player character, Ian, is a duke's son who was away at war when the ducal palace was stormed in a coup by their cousin and everyone present was killed. His comrades-in-arms have been treating him as heir apparent (his chief technician calls him "young Duke"), but then he finds out that his sister, Joanna, the actual heir apparent, is alive and leading her own resistance group, but they don't have quite the mechs that he has.

They attempt a joint operation to seize an armory for the final assault on the palace. Joanna leads a distraction force, while Ian spearheads the attack on the armory. The distraction will probably be the deaths of hundreds of rebels, but it's worth it for that armory.

Only, Joanna's vehicle gets hit; she's wounded and lost somewhere in her AO, and her forces are collapsing. When the enemy secures the area, she'll either be killed in action or captured and executed. Also, Ian's window to seize the armory is closing.

Or he could scrub the mission and save his sister.

If he seizes the armory, many of the feudalists he's surrounded himself with will condemn him. He's been claiming to be fighting to avenge his family, but he let his sister die to make his revenge easier. Or maybe he let her die so that when he finishes his path, he takes the throne.

On the other hand, if he goes to rescue his sister, then the hundreds of rebels who died to give him a distraction that he didn't use died for nothing. The enemy still has the weapons in that armory and will use them against the rebels, and the rebels don't.

So if you don't take the viewpoint that Joanna's life is worth thousands of times more than the commoners fighting for the resistance, the right call is to let her die.

But many of the people around Ian do feel that way, and it also looks bad for him if he becomes Duke of Kentares by abandoning his sister. And then there's also his personal stake. She's his sister. She's the last person alive in his immediate family and the closest family member he has who hasn't been involved in murdering his father. He's got plenty of sentimental reasons to want to save her.

[sunnyie-eve]

1. The Challenge

Fandom: House of the Dragon

Series: Devious Opportunity

Pairing: Aegon II Targaryen x Cousin! OFC Targaryen!

Word Count: 1.2k

Notes: playful flirting between cousin (duh Targaryen incest) and Alicent pushing views on Aegon

| MASTERLIST |

-

Since Celeste could remember things, she had always been raised in Kings Landing castle. She knew who her father was yet they weren't very close. She was his first child, who happened to be a bastard, with a past love affair.

Viserys knew his brother cared deep down for his daughter by letting her live with him. Daemon knew she was better off there than with him. He would visit her there and write letters to her but even when he married Laena, he never had her come live with them. Plus Rhaenyra cared for her since there was something she thought was just so special about her.

Maybe it had something to do with her knowing Celeste's mother since she was always kind to her. Or maybe because she their mothers both died the same way. Or because she saw some handmaids didn't care to take care of her for some odd reason as she was growing up.

At the moment, Celeste was running through the halls to get to Princess Rhaenyra's room to see the new baby. As she busts through the doors out of breath Rhaenyra and Harwin laugh at her.

"I hear it was another boy." She says out of breath, "Let me see, let me see." She gets on her tip-toes trying to get a better look at him as Harwin was holding him. Rhaenyra nods her head so he gives her to Celeste to hold.

Even though Celeste the and boys were cousins, they acted like siblings more towards each other. Probably because Rhaenyra acted like a mother towards her since she doesn't have much memory of her own mother.

"Between us, I hope he gets his father's looks." She smiles at the baby before passing him back to Harwin. "I'll leave you three alone." She heads for the door, "But I'll be back to give him more love later." She adds leaving with a smile.

As she was walking around the yard, Aegon joins her, "You should have seen the joke we did on Aemond." He laughs so she looks at him.

"Are you to tell me more or not?" She asks him.

"Oh, since he doesn't have a dragon, we gave him a pig with wings. The Pink Dread." He laughs more while she didn't find it funny.

"Why must you boys make fun of him for not having one like the rest of us? You don't have to make it harder on him." She looks at the weapons since she had always fancied them oddly. Especially ones that were made well and looked nice.

"It was Jace and Luke's idea." He tells her so she gives him a look, "It was my idea." He rolls his eyes, "You know, I don't care for how well you know me."

Celeste chuckles as she starts to walk away with him following her, "I'm the only person who ever really pays attention to you. I know you more than your siblings, parents, and maids know you."

"Ah yes, and I appreciate you for that." He playful tugs on her hair causing her to turn to face him with a glare in her face. "I had to get you to face me somehow."

"You couldn't ask me to stop and turn around?"

"As we both know, you know me so I'll say no." He smiles, "No, but I do truly appreciate that you pay attention to me. We both know no one else does unless I step out of line. How else would I get my mother to pay attention to me." He laughs but deep down it hurt him.

"I don't just pay attention to you, Aegon. I care about you as well. We're the closest. Somehow we are which blows my mind to this day since you're a pain in my ass."

He can't help but laugh, "That's one of my titles, of course, just for you to use." He bows a bit, "My lady."

"There's never a dull moment when you're around." She shakes her head at him, "I'm off to go love on my new brother." She leaves him.

"Cousin!" He corrects her.

"Basically my brother!" She shouts back starting to jog back towards Rhaenyra's chambers.

Later in the day, Celeste was bored and just wanted to talk to someone so she headed towards Aegon's chambers. They often had long chats to pass the time along when they were both bored. They never minded when one would wonder into the other's room since they have been doing such a thing since they could remember.

Before walking in the door was slightly opened and she could hear the Queen was in the room, "If Rhaenyra comes into power your very life could be forfeit. Aemond's as well. She could move to cut off any challenge to her succession."

"Then I won't challenge-," Aegon starts but is cut off.

"You are the challenge! You are the challenge, Aegon! Simply by living and breathing! You are the King's firstborn son and what they know, what everyone in the realm knows in their blood and in their bones... is one day, you will be our King." Alicent shouts at him making Celeste's eyes widen.

As she hears her coming towards the room she moves away from the door far enough to act like she was walking that way, "Queen Alicent." She smiles as they came face to face.

"Celeste." She sighs, "Have you heard about the prank that was pulled on Aemond?" She stops her.

"Aegon told me about earlier. I told him they needed to leave him alone and stop making fun of his brother. He said it was the other's idea but I knew he was lying so he admitted to it." She lets her know before she continues her way. 

When she entered Aegon's room he was still sitting in bed like his mother left him thinking about everything, "You know Rhaenyra would never do anything to you or Aemond, right?" She tells him, "Yes, she's not close to either of you but she would never kill either of you for the throne."

He looks over at her, "You heard everything..."

"You know I like to listen to others when I'm not supposed to." She slightly smiles, "How about I step out for a minute so you can get dressed then we can talk?" She leaves him room and when he was dressed he tells her he's done.

"Why does my own mother not listen to me?" He asks looking over at Celeste sitting at the end of his bed. "I have no want for the throne. Now or when I'm older."

"Then stand your ground even when she pushes you." She tells him, "Yes, everyone in the realm prefers a man to takeover but honestly you and I know you are not the best fit to do such a thing." 

"I know and I know my own mother believes that as well deep down but for some reason she wants me to still be a King." He huffs pacing around, "Why can't I be on my own?"

"Because people don't want things to change." She tells the truth.

"What about what I want?" He stops to face her so she gets up to hug him and he holds her tightly.

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 23

part 1, prev part

School was a lot easier now that Max was back. It was better seeing her wheel herself up to the desk in the front corner. The teacher changing the seating chart to allow her to sit where it’s easiest for her to get in and out. And for them to be able to sit around her.

The assignments were getting done. Right as the teachers were starting to be less lenient as the weeks went by. As the people were discharged from the hospitals and the news coverage slowed. As the town started to rebuild and forget.

They don’t have the luxury of forgetting. The sights they’ve seen becoming unfading pictures in their minds. The scars left on all of them never leaving.

Even now, as the cafeteria fills and people sit down, the tables are emptier. Friends leaving seats open for the people still at home. Maybe never coming back.

Dustin stares at the seat empty at the head of the table. Waiting for someone to sit it in again. While Dusting sits with the realization that Eddie might never return to.

April’s already almost over. The school year is coming to a close. The doctor’s still have no prediction when Eddie will be able to leave, let alone when he can come back to school. If he even wants to.

Dustin wouldn’t blame him. It was hard enough to get out of bed to come to school himself, and he wasn’t complete chased by pitchforks. Yet the rest of the basketball team stares at him with torches in their eyes. Ready to start the hunt. He can’t even start to pretend what will happen if Eddie comes back.

It might be best if he just dropped out.

But Dustin can’t think of that right now. All he can think of is how the second half of the table doesn’t fill. As the rest if the Hellfire members have been sitting at another table out of guilt.

He picks up his tray, leaving his friends with questions as he walks over to them. Places it next to Grant and sits down. Silent.

They stop and turn towards him. Faces filled with surprise.

“What,” Dustin says, picking up his sandwich and starting to eat like nothing happened.

“Aren’t you, like, pissed at us or something,” Jeff says carefully.

Dustin shrugs, “Lucas talked to me, you didn’t deserve the way I was treating you.”

Gareth looks at his tray, sheepish. “I mean, we kind of did. We did sell you out. I sold you out.”

He never knew the person who really did it, but Gareth had more bite to him than people expected. Given the situation, he would protect his friends with his life. But he was still human, and humans get scared. Even now, the terror rest in his shoulders, in the way he twirls his fork.

“I don’t know what happened, but I know you guys wouldn’t just give us up without reason. And I’m sorry that I thought you would.” He looks at them, waiting for the apology to stick. For them to know that he means it and wants to go back to normal again.

These guys were never his closest friends, but that didn’t matter. Before Dustin, before the party, these were Eddie’s friends. The people that kept him in school, despite their constant teasing, and encouraged him to even try and get his degree. Instead of just dropping out the first time he had to repeat a year. The people that laughed with him when he stood atop the tables, instead of at him. Who bandaged up the wounds after a fight, either with actual bandages or with booze and reassurance.

They were part of the reason that Eddie was who he is. Dustin can’t stand the fact that he made them think any less of that. So much so that they couldn’t even go visit Eddie in the hospital. When he knows that Eddie would love that.

“I’m sorry about a lot of things,” Dustin continues. Letting the truth slip through more than he meant to.

“We are too,” Jeff speaks up. “This hasn’t been an easy time for us.”

Grant clears his throat. “We don’t even know what happened to him, it was easy for us to think that we caused it.”

“That giving him up to Jason was the reason he almost died,” Gareth finishes. Staring at his food.

Assumptions fill where information lacks. When someone knows the full truth, it’s often forgotten when people don’t. What they’re left to think from the consequences. Not knowing the actions that caused them.

“That’s not what did it.” The words come out with a sharper tone than he means to. But he leans into it. Making sure that they understand it was not their fault. It was never their fault. “Eddie would have gotten hurt either way, it wasn’t because you guys gave us up.”

It certainly didn’t help, and if Lucas wasn’t there, it could have been much worse. But it was never their fault. Eddie made his choice, and Dustin had to learn how to deal with that. Deal with the consequences of an action he had no control in stopping.

Even if that thought haunts him. Even if he wishes there was a universe where Eddie listened to him. Just followed the damn plan through. But he didn’t, and that’s the reality Dustin’s living in.

“He made a decision that got him hurt in the end,” Dustin continues. “I hated that he made it, but it was his own choice that did it. Not you guys, not me. Not anyone.”

The best he can do it make sure that other people understand that this reality isn’t their fault. The blame should never be on them, but the damned people who started this bullshit.

“How is he?” Jeff asks quietly.

Dustin blinks away the wetness in his eyes. “Better. He’s doing a lot better. And I think he’d really like to see you guys sometime.”

“We’d really like to see him,” Grant adds. Looking across the table at his friends. The same look shared in their eyes.

“Do you think he’d be up to seeing us?” Gareth asks, cautious.

Dustin nods. “More than he’d be willing to admit, I think.”

The slightest smile forms, making Dustin know that he did the right thing. For the first time in weeks, he knows that he did the right thing.

next part

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[feanoryen]

Elven tattoo headcanons

I think tattoos will never be fully permanent for elves, they fade every hundred years, maybe they'll last a few hundred if your ink is of the highest quality & your tattoo artist is exceptional. It's not a flaw with the tattoos that they're never permanent permanent, elven biology just doesn't allow for it.

Miriel, being brilliant with a needle as ever & Finwe, who was a patron of the arts, invented tattoos in Cuiviénen.

Most of the Minyar weren't so fond of them but they were appreciated by several of the Tatyar & Nelyar.

It started out as Finwe just… painting on himself & his GF because why not? He started out using henna commonly used by his friend Elwe & the Teleri but he liked color so then he & Miriel decided to be ✨experimental✨ & *boom* tattoos! He developed the ink & she learned how to work a needle in skin.

Finwe has one on his back that Miriel did right before she got pregnant with Feanor that he never let anyone touch it up after she died even though it was fading, until Feanor got older and asked for his dad’s permission to do it himself.

Miriel used to have a tattoo on her back as well like Finwe’s but she didn’t get it redone after getting reembodied. She also used to have a few on her arms and legs and was overall quite bohemian before what happened, happened. She doesn’t regret co-creating tattoos but they don’t fit her anymore.

Feanor has 1 segmented tattoo along his collarbone. He has 2 stars about an inch tall/wide closest to his heart representing his parents, a slightly smaller but almost as big one near them representing himself, and seven even smaller ones trailing his left collarbone representing his sons.

Nerdanel doesn’t have tattoos, she’s chill if her kids want them but they’re personally not for her.

Fingolfin doesn’t have any for several reasons, they don’t fit him, he’s half Vanya & they’re not really into tattoos, & they were partially invented by Feanor’s mother so it’s weird. Findis doesn’t have any for the same reasons.

Finarfin despite also being half Vanya & closer to that side of his family than Fingolfin, is actually open to them despite not having any yet. He just does not gaf about what other people think.

Earwen has a ton of aesthetically pleasing sea themed motifs on her body.

Fingon has an eagle tattoo.

Maedhros has the star of Feanor tattooed on him but that’s it.

Maglor has a bunch of well put together gorgeous tattoos including both music motifs and symbols honoring his family like the Feanorian star and something for Elrond & Elros as well. They fade after he starts wandering the shores but he gets most of them redone in Valinor.

Celegorm used to have tattoos symbolizing Orome’s hunt but he lets all of them fade away in middle earth. If he ever joined the hunt again after getting reembodied, I imagine he only ever got 1 more tattoo symbolizing Orome. He’s accepted a part of his old life again but it’s not going to be the same.

Aredhel has a bow & arrow tattoo.

Curufin also has the star the Feanor & that’s it.

Caranthir used to have some in the equivalent of his teenage years but cringes looking back at them. They didn’t actually look bad at all and were quite nice but he just gives off the impression of someone who’d be unimpressed with his old self. He has none now.

Amrod & Amras get whatever they’re feeling whenever they’re feeling and change up their tattoos every couple centuries.

Galadriel has none because she thinks Feanor would feel smug if she did get them & she can’t let him be satisfied. (She loves henna though!)

Finrod has a bunch of different motifs representing all 3 of the clans that make up his heritage.

[menlove]

What do you think actually happened between John and Paul that caused John to become so bitter and vindictive towards Paul? If I remember correctly, the prevailing theory of John being rejected by Paul was actually conceived to retroactively 'explain ' John's behavior because otherwise it seems inexplicable why he would turn on so completely on the person who had been arguably his closest friend, if not lover. However, it's evident from Paul's lyrics and interview to Hunter Davies that he is entirely confused and hurt by John's behavior. Like he even complains everyone always looks to him for blame but nobody sees how much he was hurt by John. I'm not trying to take any sides here of course, both John and Paul had their faults and issues which complicated their relationship but genuinely curious to hear what your theory is.

honestly? bpd. like I barely even think of it as a theory, although ofc it is, bc sooooo many people agree that john could have Easily been diagnosed w bpd

like there's a thing called splitting w bpd where you just. like on a Dime you can't stand someone. and this can be very brief (I've split on people and it lasted like an hour) or permanent but it's very common. like you go every quickly from idealization to demonization of a person. or complete apathy (which is my personal kryptonite rip)

not only that but there's quite a few paul quotes where he talks about the fact that john started "slagging him off" as a way to distance himself from paul/the beatles and sort of "prove" to yoko that he was entirely devoted to her. which also makes sense to me as a bpd cunt bc I've unfortunately done that too 😭 and it's not necessarily an act either, it's just like.......... your brain can't make room for the way you feel for a New Person and an Old Person so you start analyzing everything that Old Person did and finding every flaw and magnifying it and blowing it up until you start feeling bitter or angry and suddenly in your mind someone that was once your world is like. some kind of villain out of a storybook.

and this is very very difficult to deal with and he wasn't really........ getting any help or outside people telling him that his view of paul/the beatles was being distorted. yoko was also pretty paranoid & from several sources encouraged his bitterness/paranoia (which isn't a dunk on her- I'm just a firm believer that she was a Complicated Person and villifying OR deifying is just weird and racist). not to Mention the scream therapy stuff, where I'm Pretty sure he himself has even said he was encouraged to pick apart his life and relationships and find Issues.

so you've got someone whose brain is already a goddamn game of mouse trap telling him that if he's not w paul/the beatles anymore he Has to hate him, surrounded by people encouraging that line of thought, and hounded by media asking him about it and pitting him against paul

and with that in mind, I do think it was also a bit exaggerated by the media. it was definitely encouraged, that's for sure. but even if john didn't Hate Paul, that's how it would be portrayed bc it made a more dramatic and interesting story. they'd ask him (and paul) leading questions to get the most material.

I honestly don't find it inexplicable that he'd turn on him without a "reason" so maybe my own mouse trap of a brain is part of why I disagree so much w that dominant narrative of rejection to explain it 😭 bc for me and many other bpd cunts I know it's just. it could Literally be nothing. often it's just a SENSE of rejection that will cause a split. and I'm willing to bet that their growing distance, paul pushing the band harder to work after brian died, paul not really accepting yoko and johnandyoko, the possible dying out of a sexual aspect of their relationship, paul proposing to jane & later getting with/marrying linda, paul Accepting john's ask for a divorce, paul going out and making an album on his own....... well. it's a perfect storm for my fellow bpd bitch to go "well fuck him I never loved him that guy fucking sucks and whatever he does doesn't hurt me anyway bc I don't care At All he's just the absolute worst and I can't stand him"

which of course had to be whiplash for paul. from his pov it was genuinely out of nowhere. but I will say all his comments about it and john needing to put him/the beatles aside for yoko and just..... all his quotes around john's mental health seem to be very VERY aware of all this. he knew john better than anyone & his main confusion seems to be around whether or not john ever actually loved or even liked him. which is an understandable emotional reaction. I think, though, he does show a deep understanding of john when he talks about all of this which makes me soooo :(

[originalwinnercheesecake]

Guess's on How Sasappis died.

Sasappis is the last ghost for us to learn his death. Sass is very private (undead) person, and we have been given no real/clear hints to his death. His ghost power (To enter into the dreams of the livings) could easily correlate to him being a story teller, and not necisarly "He died in his sleep, after catching a sever fever, that also caused him to have very strange dreams. Note I do not believe that Sass died of a fever. They would have incorporated some sign of it into his character. He would be more tired, feel more cold, possibly have a "unexplainable sweating problem". He also does not have any vibsiable gaping wounds, like Pete, Flower, or Stephanie, so that rules out death by attacker. So the question is how did Sass die

Now he could have died of some kind of sickness, but I do not think it is very likely. For one thing he is implied to have had a sudden death, just days before an important tribal ceremony he was planning/supposed to take part in. Correct me if I am wrong, but wouldn't most sickness take a period of weeks, months, years to do him in. A second thing again he isn't really sickly in the the show. All the cholera ghosts are flushed and still hacking. Issac will sneeze and mention stomach pains. But Sass seems fine, so if he has any kind of sickness then he has been masking it for 500 years. That is really sad.

He also could have could died if he went walk in the woods one night and fell from a cliff or out of a tree... but if that happened well that is kinda anti-climactic for how long we had to wait. I would rate that on the same scale as Thorfinn dying because he went walking with his helmet, through a storm and was struck by lightening. It is just a case of him not being as careful as he should have been. Not nearly an impressive follow up to Alberta or Hetty's more recently revealed deaths.... But you could make it more sad. Sass and his crush Shiki are implied to have died in the same year. Sass says that when they were alive, he was ghosted by Shiki after gifting a freshly killed deer to her family, as a jester of love. What if that was because Shiki actually went missing (i.e. died) shortly after, and Sass went out to search for her?

Another death I have considered was a food related one. A detail of Sass's character is is the most in love with food smells (the closest they can come to eating) of all the ghosts. He hangs out in the kitchen whenever Jay is cooking, consistently begs Sam and Jay to cook more of his favorite smelling food: pepperoni pizza, and I am honestly half expecting him to move into the barn once Jay's restaurant opens... What if Sass's love of food is actually a hint at his death? Maybe he had an allergy and accidentally ate something he was not supposed to? Or, maybe he had diabetes or some other dietary need, a crop or the meat from a particular animal, and Sass died when it was wiped out or disappeared. With so many people in the U.S. having dietary issues, and the countries known love of food, I could see the show choosing to write an episode on dietary importance, and the need for people from all walks of life to have access to healthy food.

My finale theory is one I have actually gotten off Tumblr, from the people who are fans of both the CBS and BBC series. Some people are suggesting Sass got bit by a poison snake or something and died from the poison venom. The puncture marks are small enough for Sass to be able to conceal with his clothing. Apparently something of the similar nature happened to BBC's Kitty? And I actually know a really good way to blend that into Sass's personality and a possible reason for why he became a ghost. Sass as mentioned loves stories and is a gifted story teller. But also as mentioned he is very private person who gets nervous about speaking in front of crowds. A week before the tribes festival Sass's father gave him an eagle's feather, which was believed to help bring confidence and courage. But what if Sass was still nervous/afraid afterwards. What as the days got closer got more more nervous/afraid, until he decided to do something reckless and stupid, to prove to himself that he could be brave. Something like walking through a more dangerous (poison animal infested) part of valley, telling himself "If I can brave this I will have no reason to be afraid of anything anymore". While that would not be the most exciting death, it would be very tragic, and it could set up "Overcoming the fears he had as a living", all of them, as Sass's unfinished business. Essentially, he would need to become a more rounded and confident person. Note that seems to also be Pete's unfinished business. Sass and Pete are roommates, and we have had at least a few really nice episodes exploring their relationship. It would be really cool if that continued to him and Pete having to teach themselves the same thing, but in different ways.

[rie-092]

ATTENTION

「 platonic yandere! dorothea milanaire 」

there is only one thing that dorothea wants before. it was to experience the attention and love from his beloved father, the current emperor that time. but despite of doing everything for that, her father didn't paid any attention to her. instead, he only focused his attention to her older brother, raymond.

it hurt her. she was really jealous of raymond. the only thing that was inside her mind that time was 'if i surpass raymond, will father pay attention to me?' that was also the reason why she compete with her older brother everytime she was given a chance. she wants to show to everyone that she was good, she can do everything raymond can do. she was better than him!

but, you see. dorothea's obsession with parental love disappeared in an instant by the time she met their older sister when she was nine. princess (first name), the eldest princess and the one who was supposed to be the heir instead of raymond. the beautiful and sweet (first name) whom dorothea see as the angel that the heavens gave to her as a gift.

as a platonic yandere, dorothea wants you to pay attention to her. not to raymond, not to your father, not to your fiancé. you only need to pay attention to her. whenever she visits you, the two of you should have a tea together. if she failed a test, you should be there to comfort her. and once you act as a perfect older sister for her, dorothea won't ask for anything. she doesn't care about what the nobles and your father says about her anymore. she only wants you to see her as a perfect little sister and dorothea will do anything for that.

if she see you talking or playing with raymond, ah. this girl will grit her teeth in anger and jealousy. you were her older sister, not raymond's. raymond already has her father's attention, the position as the crown prince, the ability to control light spirit. he already had everything and he dared to steal you away from her too? how dare him.

maybe witnessing those times where you laugh with raymond, play with raymond and have a tea with raymond was one of the things that trigger dorothea to become a tyrant. this girl treasures her older sister so much to the point that she was willing to kill raymond just to make sure that you will pay attention to her and only her.

no. she won't do it right now. she doesn't want you to get angry at her if she kill raymond. but do you remember that time when you complimented raymond in front of dorothea? yes. that event was the one who triggered dorothea to kill raymond in front of you and become the emperor herself.

and when dorothea became the emperor, this girl won't allow anyone except her to approach you. this girl thinks that she was the only one who has the rights to talk to you since she was your sister. do you remember those servants who tried to help you to escape from her? they died on ethan, her closest aide's hand. how about your dear fiancé and her family? she killed them all! but you don't have to worry. since before killing them, dorothea made sure to torture them first for spending so much time with you.

seeing you like a broken doll is something that dorothea loves to see. unlike those times after he killed raymond, you were now allowing her to style your hair, and wear a matching dress with her! you even accepts all the gifts that she was giving to you! does it mean that you finally saw the fact that she was the only person that you need?

that's what she thought at first. but one day, on her way to your castle. dorothea's whole word stopped at what she saw inside your room. you were leaning on the side of your bed, blood running down from your mouth. you were lifelessly looking at the blood on your hand with a rare smile on your lips.

“SISTER!”

dorothea immediately called a servant and ordered them to bring the doctor immediately. then after that, she immediately rushed to your side, crying and asking you what happened. but when you suddenly said to her that you were the one who did that to yourself, she frozed.

you looked at her with blank eyes, void of any emotions. it was completely different from those warms eyes that you had when you look at her before. but despite of noticing that, dorothea still begged you to hold on and don't leave her. but you suddenly laughed bitterly, saying that you were glad that you are finally able to escape from the chain that dorothea put on your neck.

after seeing you slowly closing your eyes. the only thing that dorothea could do was to cry. why? why? why!? even now, why did you chose death that staying by her side?! she gave you everything! money, luxuries and even the whole empire! so why?! was it because she's not raymond?

a few moments after you died, the doctor along with the servant arrived to your room. and what they saw inside your room frightened them so much. blood, that was the first thing that they saw as well as the dismembered body of your servants was seen on your room. while your dead body was carefully placed on your bed with the bloody dorothea sitting next to you. smiling while she brushed your hair.

the doctor as well as the servant couldn't help but to throw up after seeing the scene in front of them. and after hearing that sound that they made, dorothea's bloodshot eyes looked at them with a twisted smile on their face. dorothea got up from her seat as she held up her sword as she slowly made her way to them.

let's just say that after your death. everyone on your palace including your dear knights died on dorothea's hand. and even on her last moments, dorothea couldn't forget the sight of your lifeless body on her arm. and waking up as a baby and seeing your younger self smiling brightly at her doesn't help at all.

“ SISTER, I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU ESCAPE FROM ME AGAIN THIS TIME. ”

[coff-in]

COFF-IN ITS ME AGAIN DEVIOUS ANON IS JUMPING BACK INTO THE GRAVE :D I missed you and I come offering new food (mostly bc I thirst for Andrew lord help me)

Childhood friend reader who is basically a third sibling (maybe even the oldest) to the Graves siblings! She's a literal girl-next-door, about 2 when Andrew was born, and due to being in the same neighborhood/Reader and her parents being relatively sociable, Andrew and reader were kinda mashed together from a young age and just told to play. Maybe Mrs. Graves dumped Andrew off at reader's house often bc she didn't want to handle him and hey, since he gets along so well with the neighbor's daughter, may as well use them like free babysitters. Reader is super sweet to Andy from early on and takes care of him like an older sister would. When Ashley joins the team, even better! It's not just his baby sister, it's *their* baby sister. Reader ends up being their closest and basically only friend through childhood and middle school and just about calls Andrew/Ashley her siblings-in-honor. Hell, her parents are probably more parental to Andrew/Ashley than their actual parents. I just think this is fun because I think this is a dynamic where I can potentially see Andrew floundering about in the friendzone/siblingzone because reader kinda considers him her brother and not a dating option but he wants to date her and seeing her find other guys drives him up the wall. Man probably casually walks reader around school to class and keeps his fingers in her belt loops and glares at any guy within a 20 ft radius when reader isn't looking. This is also one dynamic where I can potentially see Ashley *encouraging* Andrew to date a girl, because she wants them to be reader's priority just like in childhood and that won't work out if she gets a man, so if Andrew can snag her, she'll never leave them. This can be fluffy, but I can also see this going darker if Andrew and Ashley after escaping quarantine kind of show up at the reader's door and she's so happy to see them until she realizes that her childhood friends kinda...yk, are cannibals and murderers and will be going after their parents soon (assuming they didn't tell her about Nina). It's a reasonable reaction, but also they're like "...so you still love us, right?" and if reader hesitates even a second, she's kinda taken hostage in her own house. They wouldn't hurt her, they just...well, she looked like she was thinking about leaving, you know? The dynamic skews so toxic because they would absolutely guilt-trip the hell out of her and tell her that she's their last hope of continuing on and is she really going to condemn her siblings-in-honor/maybe boyfriend and sister-in-law to death?

notes from coff-in: DEVIOUS ANON I MISSED YOU!!! i hope you've been doing well and good :3 i'm so happy and honored that you missed me (i'm honored whenever anyone here gives me praise tbh). i also understand your need for andrew, haha! i'll let you in on a thought of mine: i've been thinking of a (relatively) normal younger sister/twin sister that seems to look up to ashley than andrew because ashley's a girl like [reader], so she's able to help her with girl issues like periods, bra/underwear shopping, soothing her mommy issues, etc and andrew is a bit jealous that baby sis likes or hangs out with ashley more than him but he's also embarrassed about this jealousy because he knows (subconsciously or consciously) that it stems from a want to be the person baby sis relies on more... but that's just an idea for later :3 welcome back to the coffin, devious anon, we're happy to have you here!

[fem] reader-insert, pseudo-incest

teehee :3 andrew's in love :3 he loves [reader] :3 he loves you :3 andrew loves you sooo much :3 he wants to kiss you so badly :3 andrew thinks about you every time he jerks his di--

sorry i had to get that out of me... know that renee graves (or should i keep calling her mrs graves??) would take the chance to dump andy onto [reader]'s family. she would STILL have the AUDACITY to say "oh raising you was so easy, i thought i could handle another one..." knowing damn well that it was a DIFFERENT FAMILY raising andrew. to be "fair", renee is 15 years old when she had andrew, she's bound to make dipshit decisions and take them for granted (like how tf do you ask your "disappointment" son for money then call him a freeloader, like what???)

i think being raised by [reader]'s family would highlight the abuse andrew and ashley face even more to them. also having [reader]'s family raise andy as one of their own children next to [reader] just barely manages to fulfill that taboo aspect of their relationship, you know? it's wonderful! like yeah, they're from two different families but andy sometimes slips and and refers to [reader] as his big sis (ashley does it on purpose) and when they take care of leyley, andy can't help but to think how leyley is their baby sister and they're like... mommy and daddy, you know?

i honestly can't really add more to this, the meal you cooked. THE MEAL YOU HAVE BLESSED US WITH, DEVIOUS ANON!!! IT'S SUPERB, IT'S DIVINE!! i'm riding your meat right now, get over here

ashley is doing that thing where she whispers in andrew's ear while he sleeps "you want to date [reader]. you want to keep here forever. you want her to never leave us." she's so silly, i love her. it would be so fucking sweet to if [reader] also saw andrew and ashley as her siblings also. ashley is being neglected/left out by her friends and [reader]'s like "hey guys, we should let ashley have a turn" or "hey ashley, do you have anything to add to the conversation?" and ashley's just, AUGH SHE'S SO SHOCKED, and like... i'm holding her gently in my hands i love her (THEY SHOULD KISS!!! RIGHT NOW!!!)

and the darker route... teehee :3c like... how would she ever find out? for all she should know, her psuedo-sibs/friends have returned from their awful quarantine and wanted to come over to say hi and stay with her for a bit! yippee!! but also the angst is so yummy, having [reader] tied in the back of their stolen car when they go to the new graves' residence and [reader] really thinking "do i turn them in? what if they come back to hurt me? would they hurt me either way?? maybe this is their last murder... yeah! they're just going to kill their parents and then everything will go back to normal!" poor poor [reader]... nothing is going to be normal again... AAAH HEHEHEHEH >:3c

thank you thank you thank you!

----

coff-in

[barrenclan]

So I've been re-reading the entire comic to find clues on who's dying and I've concocted this very big theory on what's going to happen (though there's a big chace I'm just reading to much into it becuase I'm paranoid).

ASSUMING RAZ DOESN'T JUST WIPE OUT ALL OF OF BARRENCLAN.

So first of all, Pinepaw will get killed by Deepdark, OR, he will join Defiance in a similar situation as Rainhaze. Hear me out, Rainhaze and Pinepaw have been compared to one another a lot, Cypressfoot mentions how Rainhaze was adventurous and curious like Pinepaw, he seems to have been the closest of his siblings to Rainhaze, they both brought doom to Barrenclan (and more comparisons I can't remember right now). Maybe Ranger will gaslight Pinepaw into joining Defiance out of guilt like he did Rainhaze. Or maybe the parallels were just to show how they both bught danger to Barrenclan

Nightberry will get killed by Sulfur. However I suspect that the foxes will kill one more cat, though I'm not sure who it could be.

Mallowstar is dead already rip

I think Prowl will kill Blacknose and/or the kits. Because when Cormorantpaw was playing with the kits he said there's a big WOLF who's gonna get them. But I don't think Raz has the heart to kill babies, so maybe just Blacknose.

One of the toxic sisters is going to die, only one, Beeface or Plumstripe, one finally up beats the other, but cannot be happy about it. I think it will be Plumstripe and she will be killed by a reptile, to show that Beeface's "obsesióo" with crawling things could have saved Plumstripe.

Slugpelt will die BUT she will take Rainhaze with her, for revenge for her daughter. Let the poor woman have one win before her death. Also based on the post you made "You're killing it,stop biting it's stopped moving etc..."

I think Daffodilpaw will live (assuming again you don't just kill them all"), completing her arc about finding meaning in her life besides what the clan will tell to.

Redpelt will live, gaining the courage and determination she needs to lead her clan and save the few remainder members. Completing her arc of personal growth.

Hopefully Cootstrom dies, if she does I think it will be Deepdark himself who kills her. The one who believed in the survivance of Barrenclan through it all, dies by the hand of the thing that came to destroy it. Maybe she realizes she was wrong all along, or dies to stubborn to change her mind.

Cormorantpaw is surviving, and not only that, I think he will kill someone from Defiance. I think it will be Sulfur (or Chlorine) because the weasel corpse his dad handed him as a kit had vaguely fox colors? (or maybe I'm reading to much into it). Either way, he is surviving, killing a Defiance member, but losing someone (or everyone) he loves yet again, everyone leaves him... Also if he survives he will probably take care of the kittens and become a good dad (he's good with kittens afterall).

I think Egrettail will die, but she has a 50% chance of it. Beeface/Plumstripe, Rainhaze and Cypressfoot also have a high risk of dying.

I think someone important from Defiance will die, maybe the ones I mentioned earlier or just another one. Not Deepdark tho.

Also some other theories:

I think the reason Deepdark want to destroy Barrenclan is because they escaped Longest-Claws' massacre. He wants to finish what he started. He defeated Longest-Claws, made a group better than his, and over all surpassed him in every way, the prey became better than the predator. He needs to destroy what he couldn't in order to absolutely impose his dominance over every creature, establish himself as death itself.

Based on the fact that there's one issue called "Time is a circle", I think there will be a loop, history will repeat itself. Based on everything I'm theorizing (or over-analyzing), a small part of Barrenclan will escape, with the kittens, but pinepaw will join Defiance eaten by guilt, in a desperate attempt to save what's left of his clan, and gaslighted by Ranger (who after Rainhaze's death needs another being to play and bend to his will) he will join Defiance and end up in a similar situation as his uncle. What Barrenclan does next I'm still not sure. But, eventually, many moons or years afterwards, a curious kit from the surviving Barrenclan will start looking for the secret history of his clan, and history will repeat itself...

That last one I think is very improbable (I think Pinepaw is more likely to die than anything else), but it will be (̶n̶o̶t̶) fun if I'm right.

Anyways that are my theories, I can't wait to be wrong on all of them :p. (*pulls out death bingo card)

What a powerful arrangement of theories! I have to say, I am majorly flattered by how much wonderful and introspective thought this comic has inspired in people. It feels very nice to know that y'all care so much about my silly little kitties. :] And I hope you're satisified with where I take the story in the end!

[mistymisfit]

So long, Marianne III

Summary: Reader is a spy working undercover in Gotham when she meets Jason Todd, who despite her better judgement she forms a very close friendship with. This story follows their escape from Arkham asylum, their fall out and the times they run into each other as they get older.

Relationship: AK!Jason x Meta!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of reader being at the beach and wearing unspecified swimwear, mentions of Jason being taller than reader, the shittiest vaguest smut you'll ever read (it's separated with ** in case anyone wants to skip it), mentions of past SA, and graphic descriptions of depression (like straight out of my psychopathology textbook). So minors DNI!!!!

Word Count: 6,5K

Read on ao3

Masterlist - Mobile masterlist

Years passed and you got better, better at handling your feelings, at smothering them down so you wouldn't make the same mistake again. Countless identities after and you haven't even been close to getting involved with someone the same way you did with Jason. Now you lived and moved under the name "Penny Lewis", a fake identity as a journalist that would allow you to move around countries to wherever they sent you.  You wouldn't lie to yourself, it was lonely and on some nights you wished you would've said yes to him. But you wouldn't have forgiven yourself if you let your life be defined by him. You knew the consequences of deserting and any happiness a life with him could've bought you would have been overshadowed by guilt. You heard of Joker's death from some people you walked past last time you were in the States, realizing he finally died of whatever disease he was making you slow down on the very same night you escaped. You also found out Batman was still alive and kicking, after that you wondered were Jason was, wasn't he hellbent on killing him?

Now you were stationed in Venezuela, the closest headquarters of your agency were in an entire different country so you were all on your own. Your only company being the agent who you got partnered with, a serious guy, with not much muscles but was a tech expert. The cover was that you were a regular couple on a holiday, but what you were really doing was investigating, someone was training people and forming an army there. You had to find out who and why. You've felt bad about certain missions before, especially when after getting the information you needed your bosses decided not to do anything about it because they deemed the situation was "not important enough", when you were there available and ready to stop a tragedy. What would be the reason for someone to form a secret army in a country under a dictatorship? Maybe they were just trying to get their rights back, free their country. But you sighed and pushed it all down, at least you get to enjoy the sea for a moment.

Unbeknownst to you, you were being observed from a distance . He was doing a routine perimeter check by himself, using it as an excuse to take a walk and be on his own, when he looked around and thought he saw you in the distance from the cliff he was on. He thought it'd be impossible but still presses on the side of his helmet to zoom in, so it was you. You had a different haircut, and hair color but he'd recognize you anywhere. He takes in the sight of you, now older and no longer the teenager he remembered. You were talking to someone, the other person stands up when you turn around to take off your dress and leave it on an arm-chair. He doesn't mean to but his breath hitches when he sees you in your swimwear, guess he didn't get over his crush like he thought. His expression under the mask changes when he sees who you were talking to, a guy, a very friendly guy who puts a hand on your hip and you kiss his cheek. What the fuck? Is the only thing he could think about. Until he feels a heavy hand on his shoulder.

"Are we losing time spying on girls on the beach now?" The scoff he lets out in response is almost inaudible under the electronic voice the helmet gave him.

"Fuck off, Wilson" He brushes off the hand on his shoulders and moves along, clearly you were not who he remembered. You moved on when he couldn't, he was holding onto a memory and a moment of his life he knew would never come back. He had to force himself to see what you really were right now, a threat to his plan not an old friend.

Knowing of your presence and your line of work, he instructed his men to run more frequent perimeter checks and be more wary of any breaches or intrusions. So, a few nights after he first saw you, you find yourself sneaking into his base. You were good, stealthy and well-trained, light on your feet and fast- with the addition of being able to stop time. You avoid all eyes, and hide in the dark using the lack of lights to your advantage. Of course the secret military base would have the least amount of lights outside of it to avoid attracting any attention. It was close enough to the city in case anything was needed but also far away enough to go unnoticed. Whoever was running this operation knew what they were doing. You climbed to the roof of the main building, where you thought was most likely to have an office, which would have papers or a computer that you could use to find out who they were. Quick fingers work on picking the lock of a door on the back of it but as soon as you open it you are stopped.

A gun is pressed to your temple and you thought "fuck", you almost made it in.

"Don't move an inch, sweetheart" The man next to you speaks, and then moves your hair with the muzzle "I remember you, no powers, make a move and I'll shoot you"

You weakly nod in response, how did you even get caught? You've been studying their shifts, their patterns, everything. He was not supposed to be here. You raise your hands, signaling defeat, a bullet to your head was one of the things you couldn't heal. He opens the door and pushes you in, it leads to a dark storage unit. With the gun still fixed on your head he walks behind you, telling you were to go. Until you made it to the main room, a few gasps and whispers from the men there are heard, shocked to see someone made it past through all the security measures. You could feel the uncountable amount of eyes on you, the attention making you uneasy- not that your life being threatened didn't make you feel uneasy enough. But if he had orders to kill on sight, you would've been dead by now so you may still have a chance of escaping.

"Someone call the Knight!" He shouts, getting somebody to bind your hands behind your back with a zip tie "this gun leaves her head and we're all fucked"

He was right, you'd go for him first. Maybe only for him and then flee, they wouldn't make a fuss over one casualty. You could still complete your mission. Then you see him walking towards you, a tall man, wearing a helmet- was it electronic? huh? You assume only the helmet is robotic because he moved like a real person, it wouldn't be the weirdest thing you've come across. A robot leading a secret militia, that's a funny story to tell. Everything from his posture to the way he walked and held himself made you think he looked like the boss of this place. His gloved hand holds your jaw and leans down, like he's getting a good look at you under the blue screen of his helmet. You debate for a second if it'd be a good idea to spit on it, you were already fucked there's no other way than down now.

"To think such a pretty face could take us all out before we noticed" You barely hear the whisper of the modulated voice. And you don't know why it angers you to the point all logic is thrown out the window and you decide to take it out on the --much taller than you-- guy in front of you. He acknowledged your strength, what you were capable of doing and called you pretty while he was at it too.

You headbutt him below his chin, figuring that might be a weak point in the helmet. Had he not worn that you would've gone straight for his forehead, it was his fault for putting himself so close to you. He stumbles a few steps back from you, and you could hear the "ohh"s and gasps from the men there. It feels good for about 5 seconds, then you start wondering why you haven't been shot yet. Wasn't the man who found you supposed to be a hit man or something like that? And you were also severely outnumbered, this could have been over a while ago. You hear a robotic chuckle, it probably didn't even hurt him, and then hes grabbing your arm tightly, pushing a gun to your side.

"Adorable" He mocks

"Fuck you" You whisper under your breath, still not ready to go without a fight.

"Party's over, go the fuck home" He screams , squeezing your arm so hard you'll think it will leave a bruise "I'll handle her myself"

He starts guiding you away and for a second you have trouble keeping up with his much longer steps. You huff in annoyance, sure that if you were to stop walking he could hold you up and drag you with how strong his grip was on you. You move quite a lot, you didn't expect the place to be so big, you even go up a set of stairs until he finally opens the door to what looks like an office-kind of. It doesn't look like the place gets much use, and the sole desk only has a few things scattered over it, you doubt any of them had any importance if he took you there. There wasn't even a computer on it and you noted the chair on the other side even had dust on it. What you didn't hear on your way out was the words exchanged between the men, which would definitely have let you guess who hid under the robot mask.

"They know each other?" One of the Knight's most trusted lieutenants asked.

"She's an old ex-girlfriend of his," He clarifies, remembering how you got away. "used to be a real pain in my ass once"

"He knew she was coming?"

Slade just shrugged and walked away, avoiding anymore questions. Of course the kid knew, that's why he had doubled the perimeters check, he wasn't stupid. But it wasn't until now that he put two and two together and realized you were who he was staring at the beach the other day.

He turns you to face the desk with your back to him and it makes you nervous. What was he going to do? You'll freeze him and escape if he tries anything weird, screw a cover. They already knew too much about you so it's not like your cover mattered much anyways. He takes out a knife, God knows from where, and to your surprise uses to cut off the zip tie around your wrists.

"Why are you freeing me?"

"Because I know you wont try anything funny" You recognize the now non-modulated voice, of course it's him. Who else would be running a militia like this? It almost makes you want to laugh, sure this is how you find each other after 5 years. You see the helmet dropped at the desk but you don't dare to turn and face him just yet. You had 5 years to think about everything, to make peace with every choice you took but you were still a little afraid to face him.

"This usual for you?" He asks when you keep quiet, you don't even look at him. He wants to say he's disappointed but he can't. He knows someone like you, pretty and perfect, won't dwell in the past like he does. "Getting caught?"

"No," you reply in a weak whisper "this is my first time actually"

"What about the time-"

"It was on purpose, I was ordered to let myself get captured" You cut him off, crossing your arms in front of yourself, as if trying to shield your body from something you were not quite sure what it was. This was one of the things that would be easier to tell him without looking at his face, not like you are not dying to stare at him and see if he's changed with the years.

"Of course," He scoffs, a gloved hand resting on your shoulder "you just happened to run into your kidnapped boyfriend, lucky me"

You blush despite the situation you were in, you never thought you'd live to see the day you heard Jason calling himself your boyfriend-even if he was using that tone. Even if he had an attitude like that, was he still pissed? even after all this time?

"Jason" You sigh, what now? You tell him about how you were ordered not to look for him any further? How you disobeyed and got yourself punished from insubordination? Though that is probably how you ended up with that suicide --let yourself be captured-- mission that led you to find him.

"What? Can't even look me in the eye?" He sighs too, ending the sentence by whispering your name. "You hate me now?"

"Don't ever say that" You quickly turn around to face him. Was he always this tall? And this huge? He's obviously gained a lot of muscle since the last time you saw him, and probably grew a few inches taller too. Do boys keep growing after they turn 18? Or did he always tower over you this much? You made yourself a mental note to look it up when it was safe. Yeah, you saw him moments ago, but he had the helmet on, you didn't know you were looking at Jason it was different.

He, obviously, still has the J scar on his face, and he looks even more rough than what you remembered. You still think he's handsome, though. And his eyes are just as pretty as you remembered. It feels like the world stopped on its axis when you look at him, your memory pales in comparison to the real thing. Even if his presence has changed, and he feels much more dangerous now, you still see the same boy who would sneak to your room to get his broken ribs fixed and cuddle you. You wanted to believe he was still in there, that all the trouble you went through to help him wasn't for nothing. He's staring at you too, he has been since you entered his view, but now he is not wearing the mask so you can see his eyes trained on you.

"I could never hate you" You wanted to reach for him, touch him, just to make sure it was real but you refrained from doing it. You didn't know if he'd be okay with it, you had to bring yourself back to earth and think about how much he could've changed in the past few years.

"There you are, looking prettier than the day I left you" He apparently has no problem grabbing your face and squeezing your cheeks.

"Oh so your memory is intact" you push his hand away, his words reminding you that you were supposed to be mad at him.

"Come on, baby" He's trying to butter you up with the pet name, and you're ashamed to say it's working "You promised me some answers"

"Then ask" You tease, leaning backwards to the desk and resting your palms on it to support yourself.

"Why Marianne? Why Penny?" He asks, your legs were caged in between his not allowing you to leave as he towered over you. Hot, you thought against all logic and reason. You are not surprised to hear him say your new alias either, he must've done his research too.

"They're songs from the sixties" Your head tilted to the side with your gaze still fixed on him. You were just trying to update your memory of him, for future reference.

"The Beatles?"

"And Leonard Cohen, you should look him up." You suggest.

"Who's the guy with you?" You chuckle at the petty question.

"Jealous much? Don't worry about him, it's all make pretend"

"What about your family?" Jason questions, not letting you linger on the fact that he was in fact very jealous of the guy he thought to be your boyfriend.

"My parents died in the accident that gave me my powers... or at least that's what they told me." You sigh, ouch sensitive topic, but you had promised yourself to tell him everything he wanted to know because of the guilt that ate you up when you thought he was dead. You never saw their bodies or any confirmation that this was true. All you had to go from was their word, and they could've killed your parents to secure you as an asset for all you know. "It also gave me amnesia, so I don't remember much of that"

"And you don't have a missing sister?" He follows up, remembering what you told him all those years ago. That you were not interested in fighting crime like he was, you were sneaking out at night to try to find your missing sister. Something you wouldn't tell him much about, and he didn't pressure you into giving out more information because he thought it was a sensitive subject.

"I have a sister," you look down and to the side, as if hiding your face from him "she isn't missing. She's got a normal life and it'll stay like that"

"Is she why you didn't leave with me?" His hand gently guides your chin so you look up at him again, this time you grab his wrist to stop him. Yes , you wanted to say.

"Lose the gloves," You try to change the subject, now holding the most intense eye contact of your life "touch me seriously"

He's taken aback by your request. You wanted what? Him touching you? He's not sure if he should do it, ever since his time in Arkham he's been keeping to himself. Jason's pretty sure the last time he felt skin to skin contact was the last time he saw you, when he grazed your skin pulling your hair back.

"How do your powers work?" He asks, changing the subject too. You were just two people trying so hard to avoid the other to step on their emotional landmines. If one of you got too close the other would be quick to push them away, not allowing yourselves to fully open up despite promising to be honest. It almost makes you want to sigh in defeat, you were still holding his wrist so you put his hand on the desk behind you as close to your body as possible.

"I control time to a certain degree, so when I heal you I just turn your body back to before it was injured," You explain "it wouldn't work on any disease your body was going to develop anyways, I can slow it down but your body will always progress to it"

"Like Alzheimer?" You nod "So when you stopped Deathstroke you...froze him in time?"

"Pretty much, yes"

"What about bullet wounds?"

"Can't do much if the bullet's still inside, I can only stop the bleeding so much"

"And what abou-"

"Jay" You cut him off with a plea.

And with the look you give him he decides to give it a shot, just for you. He roughly presses his lips to yours, to test if he'd be able to take it. It almost knocked the air out of your lungs, first he refused to take off his gloves to touch you and now he's kissing you like this.

"I want to..." He whispers, his hands holding your face to make sure you won't go anywhere. "I want to try"

"We can take it slow" You offer and he nods along, letting go of you to finally take off his gloves.

First he touches your face, taking in your soft skin and you let him. You've wanted to feel his hands on you for too long, he can touch you anywhere he wants for all you care. Then he moves them down to your waist, and pulls up your black shirt until it's not tucked in your pants and he can sneak under the clothing, your breath hitches but you allow it. The second he's kissing you again he's completely disregarding what you told him about going slow. If it wasn't for him holding you, your arms on which you were resting your weight would've given out.  

"Can I?" You barely manage to get away from him to ask, and he nods quickly before kissing you again.

Your arms go around his neck, just enough to push him closer to you but at the same time trying not to overwhelm him. What did slow mean again? He realizes how touch starved he is, that it's not that he didn't want to be touched at all, he wanted to be touched by someone he knew would never hurt him. He needed to know that said touch wasn't meant to harm him or didn't have any second intentions to do so. Jason understands, right in that moment, that he wanted you back as much as wanted revenge on Batman. He's lifting you up so you sit on the desk, a hand leaving your waist just to guide your legs to wrap around him. He starts to lift your shirt up, but you stop him. You couldn't bear the feeling of someone else's hands taking off your clothes, not again. It almost felt like you could hear her voice again, telling you all about how you were such a cute thing and you were lucky her and her homicidal maniac of a partner were looking out for you from other immates-- and staff members. Worst part was you knew deep down she wasn't lying about that. You desperately don't want to go back there, not now.

"I'm sorry-"you whisper, and he recognizes that tone and that look in your face. It's the same as his own "let me..."

He only hums in agreement and gives you some space so you can take your black shirt off. Your fingers curl trying to get a hold of the chest-plate of his armor when you drag him back to kiss you. You feel his warm hands on your waist again, lowering down and keeping you in place. There was no running away now, not that you wanted to. Jason was not letting go of you tonight, his hold staying the same as his kisses go from your lips to your neck, right over your pulse point. He guides your hand to where you could take the suit off, and you learn fast working on undoing buckles and belts to rid him of the unnecessary layer of metal right now.

"I missed you" he whispers against your neck, you were blushing now.

"I missed you too" You sigh, the chest armor dropping to the floor with a loud noise that almost makes both of you flinch.

You had your eyes closed up until that moment where he stopped. You caught him staring at the tattoo on your hip. They were numbers small enough not to draw attention to them, written in a way you could've passed it off as a date in case anyone asked but its real purpose was to serve to recognize you in case you died. That was if the tracker under your skin was taken out or your face was unrecognizable. It made you feel like branded livestock, as if you were just an object. You always avoid looking at it and he should do the same. Now it was your turn to grab his chin and lead his face to look at you. Jason wasn't the only one troubled in this relationship, you had your own issues too.

"Don't" you scold, setting a clear boundary. Which he respects, he won't ask about it and if you don't want him to stare he won't.

He evens you out by taking the black long-sleeved t-shirt he wore under the suit and you don't want to stare but good God... Your eyes rush from his abs back to his eyes and you catch him smirking, you let out a giggle at the thought of him teasing you for it. He was about to do the same to you, make you look up so you wouldn't pay attention to his scars but when he noticed they were your eyes looked he knew that's not what distracted you. It felt almost normal, like you were a normal girl and a normal guy about to hook up. Of course in the back of your head you knew it wasn't the case but you allowed yourself to cling into that sense of normalcy. He's grateful that you ignore his more visible scars, that you still see him as the guy you met in Gotham so long ago. He wants to think that in your eyes at least he wasn't a failure.

"I'm sorry," He whispers, both hands cupping your face tenderly as if he wasn't holding your entire skull in them "I get it now... why you couldn't tell me, and that I treated you like shit"

"Yeah, you were a bit of an asshole" You tease with a chuckle.

He presses a soft kiss to your lips and you almost paw at his wrists when you feel like he's pulling away from you. "Will you forgive me?"

"Jay-" You murmur, seeing the tears forming in his eyes, it's the softest voice he's ever heard "I already have"

*.*

His mouth only meets yours again for a few seconds before he pushes everything off the desk, dusty papers falling everywhere and all over the floor. He's pressed up against your core when he lays you down on your back. This is were he belongs, your legs wrapped around him as he plasters kisses all over your jaw, your neck and collarbone, just anywhere he could reach. How soft lips welcome him again and again, it's like a dream come true, and your warm skin against him which he can't get enough of. His hands are steady at your waist, making sure to keep you in place, yours busy themselves tugging at the short hair on the back of his neck.

"Jay" you moan, closing your eyes. Fuck, if he wanted to have you like this he could.

"My-my ro-room's over the-" He stutters, you've barely even touched the guy and he already felt like he was melting at your touch-you were making him soft and hard all at the right places. "over there"

"You wanna take me there?" You flirt with a pout and he nods with a weak uh-huh.

Soon he's dragging you up to pick you up, a giggle escapes your lips feeling his hands on your ass. You push away the thought of how much it was turning you on to be manhandled like this.Your hands slide down to his shoulders to steady yourself as he takes you to the well hidden room connected to this office. You don't get much time to appreciate the room decor--there isn't any-- before you are laying flat on your back again, this time against a mattress. He unties your boots so you can kick them off, then your pants come off with only a bit of help from him with dropping them to the floor and he takes a step back, getting a good look at you.

"I don't have any..." he hesitates, " 'm not really sleeping around here"

"You're not?" You tease, a feet reaching for him playfully and he catches your ankle to stop you rolling his eyes in the process, his gorgeous blue eyes. "I won't catch anything from you?"

"Fuck, no" Jason scoffs, as if he didn't test himself for every disease know to man when he got out of Arkham. Besides, like he said he wasn't sleeping around, he wasn't sleeping at all--in every sense of the word.

"It's okay"

"I won't catch anything from you?" He repeats the question, and you shake your head no with a smirk "not even a kid?"

"Don't worry about that," you blush, looking away "it won't happen"

He hums in acknowledgment as his hand slides down from your ankle to your knee, parting your legs so he can settle between them again. Your heart was racing at the feeling of his hand trailing higher up your thigh, until he pushed your underwear to the side. His eyes were fixed on you, watching every reaction you had to know what you liked. What made you feel better.

"Jay-" you moaned.

"Hm?" It was almost mocking how he hid his face on your neck plating wet kisses on your skin.

"Want you"

"Want me what?" He teases, and you can't take it anymore. You grab his face with both your hands to make him look at you again before kissing him.

"Want you to fuck me" The determination in your voice had him nodding and sliding off your underwear and his own remaining clothes.

He bites back whatever sound wanted to leave his lips when he slides inside you, he's too busy watching your mouth part in a gasp and your eyes shut. He takes it slow, letting you adjust-- and getting used to the overwhelming feeling of being so close to you. He's over you, he's surrounding you like he's the only thing that exists in this world. His heartbeat slows down, looking down at the most beautiful sight he's ever seen. Jason thinks that just like this he may as well eat you alive, at least that way there will be no more lies . That if he somehow managed to swallow you whole then he could know everything about you, the way you do about him. He's only pulled back to reality when he feels your hands at his shoulders, moving faster than what he could think he grabs your wrists to pin your hands over your head. His breath hitches and his heart skips a beat when your eyes meet again, only then he starts to move.

"I love you" he lets out after a few moments, letting go of your hands, his voice is low too low.

"I love you too" You nod, noticing the tears rolling down his cheeks and softly wiping them away with your thumbs.

He brushes it off, he's not ready for this-all of this intimacy. He doesn't stop though, he just moves away to stand upright, throwing your legs over his shoulders. You moan when you feel how much deeper he could go like this. He can't help himself around you, every wall he put up to distance himself from others disappear whenever you were around. It wouldn't matter how much you lied to him, or how much you hurt him, you took his heart and it would stay with you no refunds. I'm yours, I'm yours, I'm all yours, he wants to say but wouldn't bear the thought of you not saying the same so he'd keep it to himself.  

"What-what's wrong?" You ask in a whisper when his movement falters, your cheeks flushed. You are so close.

"Nothing, just keep taking me like that pretty girl" The nickname makes you go crazy, now? He used to call you that only because he knew how much it embarrassed you. Unlucky for you, he liked seeing you flustered.

" 'M close, Jay" you whine, and he lowers a hand right where you needed it, the added pressure throwing you over the edge.

The way you feel around him is enough to push him over the edge mere seconds later, coming undone with a string of whispers of your name, again and again like a prayer. His head falls on your chest as you both try to catch your breath. Him wrapping his arms around your waist, holding himself closer to you if that was even possible as you pressed kisses to the top of his head.

*.*

"Hey, Jay" You call out to him in a hoarse whisper "are you awake?"

You get no answer from his sleeping form next to you, at some point you decide to trace his figure with your fingers, as if it'd help you remember him when you leave. You start with his jaw, then to his neck and his shoulders, feeling the rough skin under your fingertips. He really ought to buy some moisturizer, you scoff to yourself. You press a kiss between his shoulder blades before working your way down his arm. Your eyes got a bit teary looking at his scars, the carved out H+J in heart, the long slashes, the burn scar over his right shoulder. He had been through so much and he was still alive and kicking, sleeping next to you. You wish you could've come for him sooner, you didn't blame him for hating Batman. Hell you even had a few run-ins of your own with him because of it. Batman's own grief be damned he was supposed to be the world's greatest detective looking for his partner , the teenager he got to join him and the kid he was meant to take care of . He wasn't supposed to replace him that easily, it made you feel like you were the only one who cared about Jason. All this suffering he went through... it could've been helped, he didn't have to endure that. Your mind wanders to what that psycho did to him, if it was even worse than what you were put through, if he begged him to finish the job, the sight of him covered in blood- his own blood, beaten and branded, his empty eyes when you first saw him and then the flash of hope when he saw you which quickly washed away when he realized that you were there too.

You have to push back the images of what was done to you too, before you feel like you're outside of your body again or that you lose your grip on reality, again. You would never admit it to him but after he left the safe house you were brought back to the headquarters and couldn't get out of bed for almost six months, nothing felt real, your own thoughts felt too slow, your body too heavy too move. A major depressive episode, that's what your superiors classified it as. You knew it wasn't losing him that triggered it, it was the added of weight you'd been caring on your shoulders for too long and the fact that now you had nothing in your life that you even liked. Normaly they would've force-fed antidepressants to whatever agent that went through what you did but you wouldn't let anyone get closer than 2 meters, freezing more than one poor medic or nurse that was sent to see you. Or when they got to you and you reversed the effects of it, just out of spite. Eventually they gave up and waited as not even threats to your sister phased you. "Kill her and see how it goes for you," you said on a rare day where you found yourself able to speak "you'll have nothing to keep me here"

"What are you doing?" You don't even register him asking. He turns to face you and he notices you crying, only then do you realize he's awake so you wipe your tears as fast as you can. It is good for nothing, he already knows you're crying.

"I'm sorry, 's not the best thing to wake up to, huh?" You chuckle trying to pass off your own wave of sadness that just hit you.

"What's wrong?" He insists, was it him that made you so upset?

"Nothing's wrong, Jason" You lie, and he can see right through it.

"No, come on... keep going" He's using that tone again, the one that has you weakening every resolve and your knees giving out just to give him whatever he asked for, that whiny and needy voice that was reserved just for you. He also takes your hand and pushes it to his chest, wanting you to take off from where you left. Instead you move your hand underneath his to hold it, fingers interlocked as you leave a soft kiss to his knuckles. The feel of your lips on his skin, his harsh and calloused skin that has only known violence, has him blushing.

"I have to leave," you state, finally breaking the bubble you two were in since he took you to his office "I'd empty this place asap if I were you"

He steals a look at the watch behind him, the hours he spent with you are still on a single digit, that's all he gets with you. You get up, looking for your clothes that had been discarded all over the room mere hours ago.

"Fine" he scoffs, sitting on the bed and crossing his arms over his chest. Acting all tough and annoyed as the wound of you leaving reopens. He knows you'll never change your ways, he should've known you were heartache from the moment he met you. Jason knew nothing had changed, he doesn't know why he was even sad about you not choosing to stay with him. "Will I ever see you again?"

There's a beat of silence, you have your back turned to him so he can't see what kind of face you're making but he can see how you're pulling your pants up your ass. "I hope so, that was..." you puff and fan yourself with a hand.

He grabs your wrist when you get closer to the bed looking for your shoes, a sigh of your name has your gaze softening as you look back at him. Your lips pull up in a smile, caressing his face and sitting on his lap over the sheets."Bludhaven, find me there when you're done with whatever this is"

He nods, a hand of his going to your nape. He's trying to make you stay a little longer, even if it's just for a few moments and you know it so you give his scared cheek a sweet kiss. Find me when you're done with whatever this is, he can do that. He can wait a few more weeks for you.

"Where-" he starts, but you're no longer there. He felt your weight on him just a moment ago and now you were gone, he didn't even see your eyes light up before you made your way out of the place. You were probably on your way back, lying through your teeth about what you've been up to. And to that he sighs, getting up to get dressed and thinks "I've got to get my shit together, haven't worked this much for nothing"

A/N: not to copy paste all of my author's notes but I referenced like 3 songs so if you notice lmk :D

[bestworstcase]

On that recent note about Ruby being at a boiling point when the next confrontation with Salem rolls around, would you mind going into that a bit more? Namely, I have a couple thoughts about a) it’s narratively boring to have the same thing happen twice, and “Ruby’s personal issues get overrun by a bunch of other issues she feels she has to address first” is how we got to V10 in the first place, and b) it really feels like WBY (and maybe Jaune, but he has his own stuff going on, we’ll see) would be much more conscious of the fact that it happened very visibly and the possibility of that happening again, and thus act to help Ruby away from that edge should she stray there again. Just a couple thoughts, really.

what i anticipate—again mostly on the basis of reading rwby x jl pt in context with the events of v9 and the 9.11 animatic—is less round two of ruby pretending to be fine until she explodes and more of an over-correction. a pendulum swing. ruby knows she can’t bury things behind a smile without destroying herself now, but she also… doesn’t… really know how to regulate her emotions in a healthy way, because she’s been viciously repressing those feelings her whole life.

she’s also (as ruby herself notes in B4) not at all comfortable asking for help and in vacuo she is going to be under a lot of pressure as the girl who sent the message—and in B4, we’ve already seen that she is, for example, getting waylaid in the streets for photos with strangers and that yang, despite having every reason to be overprotective at present, doesn’t interfere and actively tries to put a positive spin on it (“personally i think it’s about time everybody knew how cool my sister is”) even as she’s obviously concerned about the harm it might be doing to ruby. they’re both being pragmatic.

so while ruby’s closest friends will be (and do, in the jl film) watching like hawks for the signals they missed in the ever after, they can’t do anything about her celebrity among the vacuan refugees or the material reality of the situation in vacuo: if a major grimm attack coincides with ruby feeling bad, everyone has to prioritize repelling the attack over talking about how ruby feels, them’s the breaks.

ruby knows this. her team knows this. none of them want her to go back to bottling stuff up until it kills her, but it’s going to be really, really hard to carve out the space she needs to rest and recover and learn how to handle her feelings.

what happens?

well, judging by the jl film, ruby gets kind of… manic. she’s reckless. she brushes off their attempts to get her to stop being reckless. at one point she more or less tells clark that she expects to die in the war and she’s decided to try as hard as she can to do as much good as she can in the time she has left, and later when she gets the wind knocked out of her and yang freaks out ruby’s like "don’t worry, i’m not a quitter like mom" about it.

in a way, she’s backslid all the way to where she was at the top of v1—remember how reckless ruby was during the initiation, out of desperation to prove herself? except she’s also, pretty blatantly, pushing her bad feelings outward in the form of this danger-seeking go-go-go attitude. it’ll be okay if she dies as long as she goes down fighting to the end right!!! as long as she’s honest and open about not being able to imagine a future where she is alive after the war, that’s fine!!! because she’s not bottling it up anymore!!!

and (this is evident even just in the jl film) she’s a bit taken aback by how alarming her team finds this new attitude, because to her all that’s changed is she’s not keeping it a secret that she feels this way but to them it’s abruptly seeing, in vivid technicolor, that ruby genuinely does not care whether she lives or dies and in fact is terrifyingly comfortable with the idea that she’ll die fighting salem. so i think ruby is going to experience this as mixed signals; they say they want her to be more open and share what she feels, but when she’s (in her mind) feeling good they get mad at her for not… feeling the way they want her to feel… so what is she supposed to do?

over the longer term, the shape of ruby’s character arc from here on is a journey toward rebuilding her presently non-existent sense of self-worth. but in the immediate term it’s more about clearing the hurdle of believing that one epiphany in the tree did not, in fact, fix her or solve the deeper problem of her suicide ideation. (which is very much what’s going on with ruby in the jl film.)

and i think it’s really interesting and pretty smart for the narrative to juxtapose that with salem battling her own emotional strife, because the heroic cast all believe that salem ultimately just wants to die but i don’t think that’s true, and salem herself certainly seems to be envisioning a future that she is beginning to realize she cannot achieve without making sacrifices; no cost is too great, she says, and she’s lying to herself.

i think ruby’s second boiling point is not “i don’t want to be me anymore” but rather “i don’t want to die anymore” and this dovetails nicely with salem hitting this critical mass, reaching the line she can’t cross because the cost is too great. the hero realizing that she desperately wants to live after all + the villain choosing the life of one person she cares for above everything else. it creates an opening for empathy and understanding in both directions.

if ruby spends nearly all of v10 skating over the deep well of her fear by pushing it outward as glibly nihilistic thrill-seeking, and then gets thrust into a situation where she really might die and feels that abrupt, visceral desperation to survive—that is not too far afield of salem’s desperation to remake the world into one where she’s allowed to live. likewise, if the unstoppable force of salem’s ruthlessness collided with the immovable object of cinder, she knocks herself sideways into a corner she can’t escape—which isn’t dissimilar to how hopeless ruby feels. and then they each have the other’s answer, potentially.

[yanderelovebites]

It’s been some time since I’ve been on here… but I’ve been having this idea on my mind for awhile. Yandere dollmaker with a darling who reads Yandere stories—she knows the signs but isn’t the best at avoiding getting kidnapped because she thinks “I’m not the person people obsess over”. Have Yandere be an actual label in this world. Have it be an arranged marriage. Have her freak out because by law she has to know her fiancé is a Yandere and she knows he’s also a dollmaker. Have her remember every creepy Yandere dollmaker story ending up with their partner being turned into a doll…

And after meeting him get embarrassed because he finds the stereotype ridiculous and depending on which novel it is, hilarious. Have it obvious he is disgusted at the idea someone would literally make their target of affection into a doll. He says “It’s cliché at this point, like authors can’t make up their own ideas. I get maybe comparing them to a doll or doing things to make them doll like—but full blown make them a doll… UCK!”

Have dollmaker Yandere not help the case when he takes notes of the kind of clothes you wear and start sketching outfits. If darling has any deformities he’s already making the limbs to be exactly that. It absolutely doesn’t help that one time he makes you sit still so he can model a doll face after your face.

It gets worse when your parents decide you have to move in.

You see it all in real time. The outfits and at some point you see it. The doll he made to look like you. It was freaking you out and all he did was say “I made her just like you~”

You have further reason not to believe he wouldn’t commit to your fears because the staff on hand mentioned how all his exes mysteriously disappeared. You’ve read too many novels to not assume the worst.

He gets tired of this chase for your affection so he makes you sit with him while he works. It’s creepy being around so many limbs and eyes that you feel follow you.

After weeks of that he’d finally address the comments. He doesn’t say what happened to them, just that “I didn’t turn them into dolls” to make you feel better. He’s aware of the fact you’re always going to hop back to that.

You don’t know why but his parents seemed relieved when you actually make it to the marriage date. It told you enough though-clearly his exes never did. Against your better judgement you had to ask in the honeymoon.

He tells you youll never find them. They’re gone, vile, and didn’t deserve anything. It doesn’t make sense…

It starts to, however when he lets you talk with the maid again who tell you more about the girls. From the sounds of each, they were of higher standing than you and more outgoing. They went to parties! Closest thing to going to parties you did was book signings… it was clear after hearing everything that maybe he hated their outgoing personality…

Until he finds out they’ve been talking about them. It’s clear they’re side subjects and the next time you see the maid, her eye is badly injured. You ask and she just tells you a punishment was given and she can no longer speak about the former ladies.

You kept digging and digging despite what you’ve read, honestly you were turning into the protagonist that dies if you look back on your actions.

Then you find not female skeletons, but male skeletons in the basement. They forgot to lock it. He found out.

He questioned why you went down there. He loses control, which resulted in your face getting hit and your ankle broke. He’s upset when he comes down from his manic moment. Holds you… then tells you who they are. The only one without a head was his first fiancée’s affair partner. The others were men who wanted his others and he had no idea if they actually had affairs or not.

That’s why he loves you so much. You don’t have those types of connections. He doesn’t have to doubt you. He takes you upstairs and has the maids get your ankle set. It still didn’t tell you what happened to the girls… but if he kept the skeletons of the affairs… what about the girls? He said he didn’t turn them into dolls, so what did he do?

You couldn’t leave bed for weeks. He himself came to take care of you. You were his everything,the one person who didn’t betray his love once… and creepily you begin to notice something… your ankle did not get better once you healed. You needed a cane to walk. Then one day someone poisoned your food.

He went on a rampage of the servants. Blaming each one as the doctors took care of you and you learn you’ll never walk again, but at least you’re alive. You’re still able to “provide” as the man put. Your husband didn’t see it the same way you did… you saw freedom lost, but he saw an opportunity gained. He loved taking care of you, choosing your clothes and brushing your hair…

So he started doing that again. You protested at first but it seemed futile. You didn’t understand how this all could happen. You did find out it was the brother of one of the maids that poisoned you.

You felt anxious all the time… as he does your hair, as he chooses your outfits, as he takes you with him throughout the home in your wheelchair.

But he doesn’t see why? He told you how this would end. Didnt he? Didn’t he laugh at the idea of literally turning you into a doll? Didnt he say he understood doing this that made them doll like… he may have not been the reason for your legs to be paralyzed, but now you are doll like. You need him to move around the house. He picks your outfits. He brushes your hair and teeth. He personally bathes you! The only thing you ever do by yourself is eat, but if it was his way he’d do it too.

And that’s without the NSFW

Might make a part two of what would happen if you passed away. I just find the ‘makes you an actual doll’ thing too overdone at this point for this type of Yandere.