#maybe i should manifest a phone lmao

[urfavstargirl]

i manifested a package arriving!! *with picture proof*

just so yall know im only adding picture proof bc some people in this community have trust issues and cant take a loablr's word for it when they say they manifested something. and im not tryna get cancelled so there will be pictures.

okay, so two days ago i was like "im bored and i don't have anything to do rn, plus i want my package already so im just gonna enjoy it in my imagination." i was also worried abt it not coming before school starts because i think the online shop might be from another country? i decided to use my dear diary method and wrote about how i got the package i ordered! here's what i wrote:

dear diary,

AAAA!!! my stationerypal package arrived this morning! i didnt get to open it up yet, because we were just about to go to a museum, and i wanted to take my time unboxing the stuff. ANYWAYS im so excited to use all my new stationery!

then i just imagined using my new highlighters, people complimenting my cute stationery, unboxing the package, etc. that was all i visualized because for some reason i was having a difficult time visualizing that day, so i just affirmed something along the lines of "i'm so glad my package arrived" a few times.

that was all i did that day, and from then on whenever i thought of the package i just thought "yea i already got it" and remembered writing a diary entry about it.

so like i said it took about 2 days to manifest it into my 3d, which wasnt even that important to me anymore but it's still pretty cool to me. i did the diary entry on sunday, and then today (tuesday) my mom brought in the mail and my package had arrived!!

yall probably dont care about this but heres what i got:

so yea my final advice would be just to fulfill yourself in imagination, it was fun to write that little diary entry! dont worry about it manifesting in the 3d, i just shared because this is one of the first times i've manifested something into the 3d and i was kinda proud of myself.

PICTURES (no pictures of the products bc i dont have a phone. i love my strict parents xoxo. but if i do ever get a phone i will add the pics)

[wh0reforcoriolanussnow]

hiii, could you write something about Tom meeting his celebrity crush ( he also maybe said it in an interview) at the Museum Gala? She is a big actress ( maybe did house of the dragon or something). She thinks he is super hot and she has seen the new hunger games movie, so she kinda flirts with him because she knows she is his celebrity crush and he is a nervous wreck. Eventually they start going out and end up dating! Just something about another British Tom manifesting his life LMAO

could you also add some insta posts ? I love this kinda of au! I hope you like this idea

lots of 💋 t!

And They Meet || Tom Blyth x actress!reader

A/n: love love this request ty anon 😙

Warnings: none!

Wc: 1,232

Dividers by @pommecita

“Do you have a celebrity crush?” The question caught Tom by surprise as he chuckles, his fingertips tapping on his chin. “I do actually, uh Y/n Y/l/n.” He admits for the first time on camera.

“I watched House of the Dragon the moment it came out and I just fell in love with how she portrayed Alicent Hightower, truly one of the greatest actresses at such a young age,” He smiles like a mad man as he recalls the time he first saw her on screen.

The gorgeous green coloured dress you would wear looked heavenly, and of course, your impeccable acting drew his attention. He binge watched the first season over and over, a smile adorning his lips everytime you would bless his screen with your beauty.

“Have you met her Tom? She’s a lovely person in real life.” The brunette sighs, “Unfortunately I have not, soon hopefully, soon,” He crosses his fingers as he lets out a low chuckle before moving on.

~

You watch with a grin on your face the interview that mentioned you. After Tom revealed that you were infact, his celebrity crush, you couldn’t help but feel like a giddy high school girl.

The thought that the Tom Blyth took a fancy towards you was mind blowing, especially since you’ve watched him from afar and admired him for quite some time now. You remember you first saw him on Billy the Kid and thought he was exceptional, and quite attractive.

“You think he would be at the museum gala next month?” You lift your head to Ally, your manager as she thinks. “Most likely, why’s that?” She smirks at you as you roll your eyes jokingly. “Nothing, nothing, just wondering,” You put your hands up in defence.

“Okay you have 10 minutes left,” Ally looks at her watch. You were at The Kelly Clarkson Show about to be interviewed about the upcoming season of the House of the Dragon.

~

“Y/n, do you have a type? If so, I think your fans would like to know, don’t you?” Kelly winks to the crowd as they erupt into laughter, including yourself. “Physical wise? Most definitely tall, brunette, blue eyes, a nice smile-“ “That sounds a whole lot familiar to a guest I just had a couple days ago….” Kelly teases as your eyes widen.

“Really?” A nervous chuckle leaves your lips, “Yeah, a Mr Tom Blyth happens to fit that description. I also know he mentioned you as his celebrity crush just the other day,” You play with the ring on your finger as you look at Kelly as if it was new news to you.

“Did he really?” You couldn’t help the smile off your face, “I watched the movie the day it came out and I understand the girlies who were rooting for Coryo,” You fan yourself jokingly, “truly understand.” The crowd cheers as you laugh. “I mean, I’m willing to ignore the red flags because he’s just so incredibly good looking!” You were lowkey fangirling.

“I know right!” Kelly agrees, “Tom did such a fantastic job playing young Snow, he really charmed us all,” You grin.

~

“Do you think she’s going to be at the gala?” Tom lifts his head up, the interview of you at The Kelly Clarkson Show displayed on his phone. “She should be,” His manager says as he smiles to himself, his eyes redirecting to his phone as you continue to talk about House of The Dragon.

Truth be told, after her let the entire world know that your his celebrity crush, he had been basking in the many comments saying how good the two of you would look together. It boosted his ego for sure.

He was hoping he’d finally be able to see you tonight at the museum gala and feed fans content. The second Tom set foot the gala, his eyes wandered around, hoping to see a glimpse of you. "Are you looking for someone Tom?" An interviewer calls out as he chuckles whilst posing for the photographers. "Yes actually," He responds with a shy smile.

Then, he hears loud screaming coming from the entrance as everyone in the gala turns their head towards the noise. And in you walked. Tom was standing in the red carpet section along with other celebrities as you walk towards his way, waving at the cameras along the way.

You wore a beautiful black gown, your hair in curls as the cascade down your back. Tom didn't even realise but he was staring at you, his mouth slightly agape, entranced by your beauty.

Cameras take photos and videos of Tom's reaction to you, it was quite cute. A man who finally got to see his celebrity crush in front of his eyes. Little did he know, you were looking around, hoping to find him.

Your eyes look around the place before you spot Tom, a few metres away from you as your eyes lit up. Abandoning your spot where you were posing for the cameras, you picked up the fabrics of your dress with the help of your assistants and made your way over to him.

It took a few seconds for Tom to realise that you were walking towards his direction. "Tom!" You greet him, going in for a hug as if you had known each other for years. He was slightly taken back but nonetheless hugs you respectfully. "How are you, darling?" He says as you pull back.

The pet name making you blush as you grin at him. You always knew Tom's eyes were blue, but jesus, you didn't realise just exactly how blue they are from up close. "I'm great now that I've finally met you," You chuckle, your hand gripping his bicep as he bites his lip lightly, smiling at you.

"Your eyes are really blue," You blurt out as he laughs, "I get that a lot," "Y/n! Tom! Can we get a picture of the two of you please?" Paparazzi calls out as you and Tom make eye contact, not realising how close your faces were before quickly looking away shyly.

"May I?" He says to you, asking if he could put his hand on your waist. What a gentleman. "Of course," You grin at him as he snakes his arm around your waist, his hand resting on your hip as your arm wraps around his waist.

The two of you looked good, good together. Throughout the night, you and Tom couldn't get away from each other. He was always by your side, even when you were doing interviews, and vice versa. His hand would rest on the small of your back protectively as you two navigated your way around.

Even at the dinner, he was coincidentally seated beside you which made you happy. You even recorded a video for your Instagram story about it and tagged him. The two of you hit it off straight away, exchanging numbers and even planning to meet up in a couple of days.

Being each other's celebrity crush blossomed into even more. Tom asked you to be his girlfriend after a few weeks of seeing each other and fans were going crazy, saying how he manifested it. You and Tom as a couple received so much support from everyone, including those in the acting industry saying how much of a talented young couple you were.

[aerodaltonimperial]

Hook trying to find the perfect Valentine's gift.

(Okay I think soft girl time is over after this LMAO don't choke on how sugary it is)

He is not good at this. He just isn't built for it; it doesn't come naturally, nor easily, and thinking too hard about it manages to summon an embarrassment that heats the sides of his neck. And he would absolutely have fled already if Anthony hadn't been his ride, if there were any other options besides waiting awkwardly in the aisle overfull with pink and red, with hearts and streamers, with balloons and bears with inane sentiments stamped across them.

Wow, he is really, really not good at this.

"Yo," Dante says, holding up a card that looks just like a hundred others, the same nauseating color of magenta. "Heartfelt or funny?"

"Heartfelt," Anthony says. "Always go for the heart."

Dante looks at Hook next, and oh, he expects an answer. Shit. He wants an answer?

"Uh," Hook tries, tongue fumbling behind his teeth. "Same?"

"Okay," Dante says, and nods, like he's satisfied. "Maybe like a poem or something."

Hook cannot think of anything less romantic than a greeting card poem typed up on a piece of cardstock marked 300% higher than it should be, but Anthony makes a noise of affirmation. "Always a good move."

Is it? Is this something people really do? Like, not to laugh at, but legitimately because they think it's nice? Or, worse, that it's expected?

Shit. Shit, is this expected?

His palms are getting sweaty the longer he stands in the aisle that's exploded in glitter and manifestations of what people think love is, a representation that Hook has never understood. He can't find words on a good day; how is he supposed to be able to find the right ones on a card while under pressure? Nothing is ever going to actually hit close enough to mean anything: thanks for putting up with me even though I don't ever say the things you probably deserve to hear?

Shit. He's starting to panic. Anthony and Dante are both pulling cards out and reading them, putting them back and reaching for more, and Hook eyes the door longingly. He can't do this. He really, really can't do this.

Anthony seems to finally notice his discomfort. "Yo. Hook. Y'okay?"

Hook nods once, and hopes it's convincing. The two figure out what they want to buy and start towards the registers, and the further they get away from the ticking Valentine's time bomb, the better. Hook's nausea doesn't dissipate until after they've paid and are heading back to the rental car.

He slides into the back without fuss, mostly just so he can tug his phone free and open up the message thread. He shakes a little as he writes, do I need to give you something for Valentine's Day?

It takes a minute for the response to come through: It is a very strange holiday, isn't it? No real connection to anything. Humans are fond of spending money on each other.

but do I need to? Hook replies. I don't know how to do this.

No, Danhausen doesn't think so, Hook’s phone displays, and Hook exhales so quickly it burns his throat. Danhausen does not need cards with silly things written on them.

okay, Hook types. And then adds, I would rather just spend time with you.

Really? comes the follow-up. That's fortunate, because all Danhausen wants is to see Hook, too.

Hook grins, biting down on his lower lip. He's glad he doesn't need to worry himself sick over finding a card that somehow manages to be sentimental without cheesy, meaningful without specific.

He might not have very many words, and most of them might get stuck before he can force them out, but he knows the ones that really matter. When he finally sees Danhausen a few hours later, backstage, he grabs his wrist and tugs him into one of the dark hallways before throwing his arms around Danhausen’s shoulders.

"Hey," he whispers, tangling his fingers in the back of Danhausen’s hair.

"Hey," Danhausen responds, with a low note of surprise. He sounds pleased.

Hook sucks in a deep breath. "I love you, you know?"

"Ah," Danhausen says, and laughs. His arms, a mirror of Hook’s own, tighten. "This is about your question from earlier."

"No, this is about you," Hook tells him.

"Well, in that case, Danhausen loves Hook, too. But Hook already knew that."

Hook did, but there's something about hearing it that helps the concept settle down into his bones, becoming part of him. And maybe that's the whole point of the smarmy cards and overpriced bouquets, at the heart of things.

Still. He'd rather just be like this, wrapped around each other for long enough that the endorphins are triggered in his brain, flooding his limbs with warmth.

"Mm," Danhausen says. His palm flattens against the nape of Hook’s neck. "Hook is Danhausen’s favorite person."

"Ditto," Hook says, and laughs when Danhausen pinches his skin.

[a-tale-of-legends]

With my timeline being exactly 1 year longer, it made me want to really look into each individual arc I want to do for the Legendverse. The problem is that my brain is ping ponging through so many things it's hard to sit down and write my thoughts down. But I was just thinking of Alexis during his 2 year "search" for N and I thought I'd write them down a bit? Soooo yeah.

I wanted to start off with how I started with Alexis' relationship with his prosthetic arm vs how I see that relationship now. Before, I thought it was a cool thing he had, something he was self conscious about and added onto his dwindling mental health. He would constantly use his prosthetic anywhere and anywhere. I haven't given any much deeper thought into it. He got his arm during his 2 year escape of Unova and that's that.

Now, it's slightly different. For one, he never got the arm outside of Unova. That plot point was honestly shoehorned in so Alexis can come back to Unova with an arm like Elliot came back with a leg. So now he just. Doesn't have one when he comes back to Unova. I still think Alexis is very self conscious about it though, and that's the thing I wanted to talk about! I never thought much of how Alexis was doing away from Unova- I just thought " yeah it wasn't great". But now, I'm kinda thinking of how it wasn't great. And I realized " oh. Alexis' anxiety and depression are through the roof ". Cause think about it. He prematurely left the hospital that was supposed to help him recover. He left his family and friends without telling them. He's still recovering from the trauma that team plasma had put him through ( remember, Alexis is a nuzlocke protagonist). He's only 14! Alexis is not okay when he leaves and won't be even when he comes back. I was literally just thinking like. How he constantly feels like people are looking at him when he walks. Looking at his arm, or lack of one. Always whispering and pointing, and suddenly the eyes are red- Alexis doesn't like going in public because of that. Which sucks because the kid needs a lot of essentials that require you know. Talking. His pokemon can go in and get stuff for him, but then he'd risk of them getting taken. He could go in himself but people will stare at his arm and if they're not staring at his arm, they're staring at his cloak cause who wears a cloak in modern day. <- All of this is his anxiety talking. And he doesn't know how to deal with his anxiety without any of his usual support systems so it kinda just manifests into something worse.

And another thing- he's always moving. Even if people let him stay somewhere, he doesn't stay for long, leaving the next day. He doesn't know why he has to go. Maybe it's because he feels like a burden? Or maybe it's something knawing at him to keep going, to keep running. Either way, he just goes. It's an interesting contrast with Red, who literally stayed in one place for 3-4 years.

Elliot not being with him makes things so much harder too. This whole decision was made bc Elliot was leaving for her own recovery. He feels so much guilt over that- like wow dude, you just really care about your friends if you're so willing to leave them ( his depression talking ). Anyway, Elliot and Alexis have always been a pair. Even when they were apart for their journey, they always had each other. And now Alexis is all alone. Of course he has his pokemon, but I mean. Alone in the sense that he doesn't have one to talk to. Which is weird to say bc he's actively ignoring his phone device. It's pretty funny- the desire to be alone clashing with the desire to be around people you love. Every time the need to keep running away wins but the desire to see them again keeps popping up.

Going into his arm, I still think Alexis wants his arm to be "normal" again. I don't think he makes the choice to have an arm and cover that with a glove - that was a dumb choice from me lmao. Rather he gets one that looks like his old one. That should make him feel better, right? Well. Uh. It doesn't. Cause he knows it's not his old arm. He knows it's not flesh and blood and even if he doesn't feel as bad as he did before, the arm bothers him a bit. Eva's modifications do wonders ( making it a bit lighter, able to deal with his electricity), but ...I dunno, if I'm being honest, I don't think Alexis exactly. Likes having a prosthetic arm. Which is weird- to him - because his anxiety during his 2 year escape from Unova was from the fact that he didn't have an arm- and now he has one! So why does it bother him. Despite that, his new arm is his uncomfortable lifeline. He doesn't take it off much, if not ever unless Elliot or his parents pester him to take it off ( specifically when he's about to go to sleep). He has reached his normalcy, a time where he didn't fuck up and caused a rift between him, his family and friends, and he didn't want to let that go even if he knew things are different. Again an interesting contrast with Elliot: Elliot likes her new leg. She thinks it gives her the freedom to do what she wants. Her crutches and wheelchair she had to really get used to ( even in b2w2, she was hesitant about using them bc she thought it would hinder her movement. Over time she grew to like/ appreciate them more though), but she was still adapting. Her life has changed, and even when it kinda sucks, she's taking her own steps forward! Alexis.... isn't doing that. And that really hinders his relationship with his friends, and especially Elliot.

After swsh I think Alexis just doesn't wear his prosthetic often as he used to, only wearing it when his anxiety is particularly bad or he just feels like wearing it. Again, he feels kinda bad bc the arm costs money and he isn't using it often but at that point, he's on the road to recovery and is honestly happier for it. He's okay with his arm. Eva helped with it, so it doesn't feel so distant and uncomfortable as it did before. Truthfully, it's kind of process of learning to life with and without his arm in a healthier manner but he gets there.

Aaaaaand yeah. I think that's everything I wanted to say- oh! His service Pokemon. Kai- his samurott - has actively tried to support her trainer, but she isn't exactly equipped to help him in that way. During the 2 year gap, it became obvious to her that Alexis needed someone that can help with his specific needs- preferably someone that can learn psychic. Again, over the years, Alexis grows accustomed to doing things with and without a prosthetic arm, but the extra support in that + his anxiety and depression was much needed. Kai still supports him- she's his starter of course she does - but it's nice seeing him get the support he needs by a pokemon trainer to do so.

[kae-karo]

i hope this doesn't come across as rude or bothersome but you mentioned in another ask that you use your discord server for fic planning/writing/taking notes, and i was wondering whether you'd like to show or give some insight on it? like what channels and how it's built up essentially? it sounds pretty convenient and i was wondering what it looks like! (maybe it'd be something for me who keeps notes scattered in different docs and note apps and analog on grocery receipts.......)

hi dear!! oh my gosh not rude or bothersome at all lmao i'm more than happy to talk abt it! (i'm gonna put it below the cut tho cause it's a long boi)

ya so basically i have a personal discord which tbh i use for a LOT of stuff (beyond just fic planning) and i honestly can't recommend it enough??? generally apart from fic specific stuff i use it as a cache for links to art i really like or share often, random thoughts on genshin lore or other things, poetry, gift ideas for ppl in my life, to-do lists, cosplay concepts when i was more into cos, etc lmao

as for fic planning specifically!! the vast majority of my thoughts fall into a 'other projects' channel, which is my catchall for oneshot ideas, vague fic concepts, quotes, etc. fics end up with their own specific channel usually if they're longfic/chaptered or if i end up with just an overwhelming amount of ideas/thoughts about them lmao

one actually good diverse example of a channel i had was for chosen (x) where i had a TON of reference images for various zhongli imagery and symbols & i detailed out a lot of the thoughts i had on where those images should be carved on childe. i had a variety of scene ideas laid out although not all of them had a ton of detail, and i had dialogue snippets that i really wanted to use. i also wrote in a lot of the lore to make sure i had a coherent place to reference or adjust if needed, including some stuff that really didn't make it into the fic itself but needed to make sense in the background so that i could pull on it as required. notes as well for things i wanted to be sure to mention, cause they were relevant to the story but didn't come up right away or were part of the foreshadowing or i thought they needed clarifying somewhere.

i'm sure there are ways to be more efficient or organized about a fic, but this works well for me since i have discord on my phone and it's far less effort to pop into a channel and write some stuff down rather than navigate gdocs and look for a planning doc and make notes there. PLUS i only ever had planning docs usually for a fic i knew would be chaptered/long from the start, and didn't really have anywhere to put short ideas or random thoughts lmao

basically, here's my writing category in discord:

although looking at this i could probably hide the kathb fic channel now that i'm done writing it lmao (i usually hide channels when the fic is finished, just so i don't overcrowd anything but don't lose stuff either lmao)

notes in these channels can manifest in a lot of ways but USUALLY it's dialogue or scene ideas that come to me when i'm busy with other stuff and i want to put down, or when it's something that won't happen for a while but idw forget (i am very forgetful). or just generally when i sit up at 3am with the perfect string of prose for a scene and i have to write it down RIGHT NOW or i'll lose it. this happens often enough that i keep my phone on my other projects discord channel when i go to bed so that if i do indeed wake up with an idea, i can just unlock my phone and start typing lmao

occasionally, i have actual research on certain things in those channels, or a timeline if things start to get messy (if you followed me in my bnha days, i had a channel for my fantasy dabihawks au that spiraled into a whole series and i really needed a coherent timeline for that) but for the most part it's scene and dialogue ideas! oh, and sometimes if there's art or smth that inspired the idea, i'll toss it in there too so i can reference it or be sure that i link to it when i post the fic. ah, and sometimes it's just stuff like this with minimal context lmao

one of the bigger things for me that works really well is my other projects channel tho? that allows me to string stuff together and pin ideas and reply to other messages so i know what the heck i'm referring to when i just slap a line of dialogue or smth in there lmao. cause it used to be super hard for me to feel like a fic was gonna warrant its own planning gdoc, and something about putting a ton of notes directly into the fic doc below where i'm writing just never worked all that well for me lmao

it also serves as a great place for me to dump ideas and refer back to them easily, or expand upon them without having an actual fic doc somewhere? like, i have ideas i haven't actually started writing but i've added lots of notes and thoughts and stuff for, so it's great to have that somewhere easily accessible and searchable and all in one spot lmao

i'd say if ur standard modus operandi has been scattered notes everywhere, this is a huge upgrade in terms of being able to not only keep everything in one place but separate it out in an efficient way (you could probably get more efficient than i am, too, like having a category for specific ships/fandoms or even for a specific fic with channels for more specific purposes like research or dialogue or character notes, etc) - like, the whole thing is searchable, too, so if you misplace something or can't find it, you can still search for it in one single location. overall, cannot rec enough lmao

hope this helped a bit!!

[87435678753256732]

manifestations + new stuff

what will be happening this year:

will start grad school (3 years)

possibly moving out?

I had talked to my mother about moving out about a year ago. It was just contemplation. What she said to me was nicer than what I imagined it would be. basically, she stated that she would support me, as she knows that I would eventually move on with my own life. this was way better than what I thought it would be. I had internalized the guilt of a first gen daughter, and assumed that I would get hit with a guilt trip. Now that grad School will start in august, I have been starting to actually look into it. the guilt mostly came from how my mother would pay rent. who would cover my portion? I did remember that she told me one of her friends was interested, so maybe she still is? I brainstormed and rehearsed what I would say for the entire day basically. if I said ONE wrong thing, she would easily twist that and use it against me.

The conversation I had with her was tough, but I wasn't attacked which was nice. basically said that if I wanted to do that, I have 30 days to do it and I would have to figure out my own bills that I go half with her. I was taken a back, especially because i didn't state a definite day that I would leave. im hoping it is just a test, lmao? I would have to figure out 1. rent 2. cell phone bill 3. car insurance 4. internet 5. light (utilities) + other expenses like food. I am going half on our car insurance, so that'll be interesting to figure out. it feels like she wants to completely cut me off, which I understand if that is what independence looks like, but it is a very hard transition. my sister will start college soon, so hopefully she can get a job and help my mom with rent + the additional person that will rent my room which I assume will be her friend that was interested.

as for myself, im kind of winging it. I would like it to either be by work, or by school. I should be able to find a decent deal in oc, but lb def has cheaper prices. if I go to lb, I will be leaving oc which I don't think im ready for? my boyfriend has been having issues with his roommate, mostly bc of their differences in lifestyles. based off what he told me, I think his friend may be autistic, which makes it difficult for him to communicate and adapt to change. I feel a bit bad bc it was me coming over that caused this. my bf feels bad bc they've been friends for so long, and he's not sure if he has ruined their friendship. I tried to comfort him and went over how to present his feelings to his roommate, without making it sound like a guilt trip. his roommate said he needs to leave asap, but is open to paying his part until the lease ends (oct) which is interesting. the rate that they are paying is what a 1b1b is going for, which is wild? if his roommate does leave, the possibility of us living together increases. I would feel more comfortable living with him than with new people. it seems very fast, I am aware of that, but I really do love him and don't have a bad gut feeling about this. I still haven't told my mom that I am contemplating living with him, mostly bc I do not want her to see him as a bad person, bc she easily splits. when we had the conversation, she did not bring him up which was a little surprising. there could also be the possibility that she likes him compared to my past partners. I will talk to him about this later today, and what my plan is. im not exactly sure how serious my mom was when she told me she wanted me to have it figured out by may (two weeks?), but she could also be testing to see if im as capable of being an adult as id like to think I am. welp!

income wise, im doing pretty well. I make 25/hr FT, around 4000. my partner makes around the same as well. he's currently doing a certificate program that could bump up his income once he has the certificate and takes advantage of the career center program available for folks in tech classes. based off the stuff he's doing, income will most likely go up (tech related), especially in OC where there's so many companies looking. remote work is also a possibility. I would def not be contemplating moving if we both worked service jobs. but I should be good as rates go up. what im not too sure about is my moms income. she works two jobs, and brings in around 2500/mo. my sister could pitch in around 500 if she gets a job. the roommate (prob her friend, Bee) will prob be looking at 1-1.5k. making it 1k mom, 500 sister, 1.5k roommate. so looks like it should work out? I was also thinking abut my dog as well. initially, we got her for me as an ESA, but she has become super close with my mom and probably likes her the most. so she'll most likely stay here.

im very excited to see what my next steps will be. it will be hard, esp adjusting after being with my mom for so long. but its okay, life goes on and I guess my start will be in 2023.

easter went good! I spent Sunday with I and his family. there was a good chunk of them, around 10-15??? they were all very nice and welcoming! this was his hispanic side, which he basically grew up with. his aunt liked that I spoke Spanish, and they probably liked that I was latino and visibly brown as well LOL. my bf was trying to enjoy the event, but it was hard when he was just thinking about his friendship in the back of his head. I got home early that night bc he was feeling tired, which I understood. it was cool to finally be around a lot of cool people/family. my family is small, and with my moms personality disorder, she always has beef with them so we have NEVER had a gathering that I can remember (23 years? lol) mostly because of her pride and individualistic selfishness. I understand why she would think that way. to her. she's closer with her sisters in Mexico, but due to her status, she cannot see then unless she gets documentation or if she just decides to go back. we have had the convo before, and she has said that her hopes are to go back to Mexico and live in the home that she was been putting money in for the past two decades. ive been aware of this, especially when many of my own clients born in Mexico that have shared that their end goal is to be in Mexico bc they don't want to pass away here. I don't think that will be any time soon. maybe once my sister goes her own way. anyway, thats it for now. I will practice some manifestation bc tiktok astrologers are saying its important

[kynrki]

all y/n could feel was shocked. she didn't expect the cute guy she had seen at the hybe café to be seated right across from her? as well as to find out they are doing a joined performance together.

y/n had entered the room when she saw 7 boys already sitting down. checking them one by one, she saw one who look familiar, maybe even a little too familiar when she realised it was the cute café boy. a faint colour of rose, came her cheeks as they made eye contact for the first time. he was way prettier up close, now that you can also see him properly.

niki had noticed you immediately when you entered, but kept quiet, maybe sunoo and jungwons manifestations did work in the end, because boy was he happy to see you. as you two made eye contact, niki smiled once again with a little wave. he stared in awe as you quickly tried to hid your blushing cheeks and waved a mini 'hi' while tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

after a while of talking about whats going to happen to both your groups, the managers finally decided to leave and let you both decide whats going to happen. "i think its best that we start talking about it right now." kokomi said as she spoke with jungwon, who nodded his head in a agreement. "exactly, so that we can start working on who does what choreography." he said. "i think y/n should have a piece where she dances alone, since she is the best out of all us girls." kokomi said proudly while smiling. y/n blushed at the compliment, silently thanking kokomi. " also think niki should since he's also hella good." jungwon said looking at niki, who was staring at y/n.

"okay okay, so then why dont we let them do a piece together instead?? since they both are good?" jake said smirking. the two looked at each other surprised, and then looked at their leaders. they both nodded in agreement. jake had realised that y/n was the cute girl when he looked at niki, who was already silently smiling at the girl when she entered, and at the end of the day, it was jakes mission to get them both together.

that's if nothing gets in the way…

masterlist | previous | next

A/N — BRUH TUMBLR ACTING UP RN FR???

neways im back LMAO, my mom deadass took my phone away💀💀💀

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

PAIRING — idol!Nishimura Riki x shy!idol!fem!reader

SYPNOSIS — y/n has never been in love. craving the feeling to feel special and worthy to someone, she dreams about falling in love and having someone love her back. what happens when she bumps into a cute boy, and doesn’t realise he’s under the same company. not to mention he finds her cute too. but as they all say, love is (not) easy!

TAGLIST (open) — @pshwyfie @diestheticu @tomorrowbymoa-together @ikasaeki @itzz-me-duh @hrtattcker @soobin-chois @strwbrymlkes @peachtsumu @maeumiluv @ahnneyong @certainyouthpeanut @bigtoewinwin @yvesismywife @emoworu @ars0n0fficial @alderiasamantha @karaxomb @enhaswab @deeznutsriki @rubysluvbot @aichaskz @stayriki @omgjwon @shysakuno @chewychubchuu @pkjay

PERMANENT TAGLIST — @soobin-chois @enhacolor @anotherimaginesaccount @hiqhkey @lil-iva

[crescentsteel]

Keeping a Secret - Part 6

pairing: Tsukishima x f!manager of Sendai Frogs genre: sexual tension/crack/fluff/slow burn wc: 7.1k

Part 5 || Part 7 || masterlist

[a/n]

I’m sorry for the slow update (As you know, I finished my other mini series last week and I was just a ball of exhaustion, until now tbh)

I think we’re halfway along the story now. I think. Lmao. 

AO3 link is on the masterlist’s page.

Let me know if you want to be part of the taglist uwu

No one budges - not Tsukishima, not the team, not even you. You scram the insides of your brain, trying your absolute hardest to come up with a panic-stricken solution on how to remedy the carelessness brought by your surge of pride from winning.

You can feel your heart pounding on your chest. Or maybe it's Tsukishima’s against yours. You can’t tell at this point and you don’t bother trying to. You push your cognitive skills to its maximum as you strive to think for a fix for your current predicament.

Luckily, you’re not a university scholar for nothing.

You release Tsukishima and open your arms wide to the next person you lay your eyes on.

“Kyou-kun! Good job,” you manifest the joy on your face as you come up to Kyoutani for the similar hug you just gave Tsukishima.

Like Tsukishima, Kyoutani also stills when you embrace his perspiring body. Kyoutani is not a touchy person, but unlike Tsukishima, you know he’s fond of you. So he doesn’t push you away. Rather, he awkwardly pats you at the back.

“T-thanks,” he says with his low, raspy voice. You beam at him and move on to the next player until you’ve hugged all six on the court.

When you come back to the benches, there’s an organized line of the rest of the Sendai Frogs.

You blink quizzically for a few seconds, wondering why, until you realize that they’re waiting for their turn as well.

“Aww, you guys!” you gush dotingly at how adorable they are. Yet, you can’t indulge them.

“Maybe next time? You need to line up already,” you remind them. They all groan downcastedly, but Coach Mira castigates them immediately.

“What the hell are you all sighing for? You won. Stop dawdling around and fall in line over there, not here!”

The guys snap out of it and do as they’re told. Before Coach Mira joins them, she shoots up an eyebrow at you, probably looking for an explanation for your behavior.

“Sorry, Coach.” You chuckle as you apologize for getting the team a bit sidetracked, but provide no reason why you did so. “Won’t do it again,” you supplement the apology.

She lets it go casually and lines up with the team as well.

Once the match is officially done, you head over to the restroom. You enter one of the cubicles quickly and lock its door, you knock your head on it.

‘What is wrong with you, you dumb bitch!’ you lambaste yourself while staring at tiles with petrified eyes as you replay the scene again.

When you made the deal with Tsukishima, you were confident that there wouldn’t be problems with hiding what you two have. He is one of your athletes first and foremost; that hasn’t slipped out of your mind. Yet for one moment there, you blurred the line that you and Tsukishima had established.

You got cozy with him when you’re not in private--when you’re not supposed to. It was just a hug, but still, it was something when you’ve made the whole Sendai gymnasium your audience.

You’re the one who even assured Tsukishima that no one will know about your set-up. Tough luck, you’re also the first one to mess up.

You bang your head on the cubicle door again. The sound of your frustrated groan echoes through the whole bathroom. After a while, you take a deep breath and unlock the cubicle. You go back out to the halls.

When you turn left to head for the bus, you’re startled at the presence of the blonde that was just in your mind. Tsukishima is there, leaning against the wall next to the door you emerged from.

“Fuck! You scared me,” you exclaim.

“Tell me about it,” he replies with a straight face. Despite the nonchalance, you know there’s meaning behind his short retort.

You scan the area, looking for any other member of the team who might be present. When you see none, you drag Tsukishima outside to a secluded area at the side of the gym. Once there, you check around again just to be sure no one will pass by.

Tsukishima just watches you acting in distress, waiting for whatever it is you’re going to say. Obviously it’s important enough to you that you tugged him all the way here. Once you’re done confirming that the coast is clear, panic sets in your face.

You clutch his jacket and start lamenting. “I’m so stupid, Tsukki! Oh God. They’re gonna find us out. We’re screwed!”

He thought that you were just going to explain and apologize for your slip-up earlier. He was stupefied when you did it. He’d probably be giving you an earful right now had you not resolved your mishap before it became an object of inquiry to the others. Admittedly, he was still planning to scold you a bit. However, seeing you this freaked out about it makes him change his mind..

“I’m so sorry!” you go on as you drive yourself deeper to hysteria.

He can’t understand why you’re having this kind of reaction. You solved the problem. You hugged five huge, sweaty men to make up for it. That was a convincing distraction for testosterone-filled players who just won a match.

“Can you calm down? I do-”

“Maybe we should stop it already,” you suggest strongly, cutting him off as perturbation clearly clouds your judgement.

This throws him off. The idea didn’t cross his mind at all. He was just going to reprehend you to be mindful, not call off the agreement you two made.

He doesn’t mind it anymore - kissing you. Sometimes, they’re more enjoyable than he initially anticipated them to be. Most importantly, they’re harmless. They’re just meaningless kisses born out of what little attraction you two have for each other. No one is getting out of line. You don’t go beyond kissing. You both act like the deal doesn’t exist unless it’s just the two of you in your room.

That’s why he is willing to let your mistake go, apart from the fact that you were successful in covering it up.

But instead of contesting your suggestion, he says, “If you say so.”

Even though he’s accepted that kisses from you are allowable, if you want to back out from it, why the hell should he stop you?

“Right??” you persistently convince him even though he basically said yes already.

“Right,” he presses on as well to satisfy your apparent need for him to agree with you.

His answer effectively calms you down as you let go of his jacket and sigh a breath of relief. You swiftly regain composure and face him with your trademark sassiness. “Awesome,” you say with a reassured smile.

“You go ahead first so Coach won’t ask me to chew your ass for taking too long to get on the bus.”

“And you?”

“I’m the manager. I’m always the last to get on the freaking bus.”

He turns around and walks back to the bus. That’s strange. He thought you love taking advantage of every opportunity there is for you to pick on him. He might be wrong.

He can be sure about one thing though: you really are the manager who looks out for everyone, including him.

Maybe that’s why it bothers you so much. Above all else, you are their manager. So when you acted upon something other than such in the court, you lost your cool.

Oh well.

It’s not as if scrapping the deal off is a loss of any kind. He’s gained some sort of fun from it. That’s that. Nothing more. Nothing less.

--

Tsukishima knocks for the second time. He wouldn’t have bothered knocking since it’s your scheduled time to meet today, but he also doesn’t want to barge in without your permission. So he knocks again.

Sure enough, it opens this time. Yet, no one’s there to meet him.

“Tsukishima...”

His eyes drop further down to where your voice came from. You’re on your knees, your head faced down on the floor, and your arm reaching on the doorknob where your hand is latched onto.

What is it this time? What kind of antic will you throw his way? He waits for you to do something unearthly again, readying himself for anything you might surprise him with.

But nothing. You just stay where you are while he stands still.

You groan weakly and ask, “Did you not get my text?”

He slouches down and gets on your level, still not discarding the thought that you have a trick up your sleeve, and you’re waiting to spring it on him.

“What text?” He didn’t check his phone on the way here so he doesn’t know.

You lift your chin to face him while he anticipates your big reveal -- your comedic idea of the day -- but it doesn’t come. What greets him are your squinted eyes, almost beet red cheeks, and pale lips.

“Not today,” you struggle to say which comes out raspy and frail.

He instantly reaches for your forehead to confirm his speculation. His eyes widen with worry when his palm touches your skin. Even without a thermometer, he can confidently conclude that you’re sick. Not just sick, you’re burning with fever.

He looks behind you and sees your laptop open with a mug filled with brown streaks of fried liquid he can only assume to be coffee.

“Jesus Christ,” he hisses. You really won’t fucking stop at nothing even if you’re literally sick already.

He peels your hand off from the doorknob. He scoops your legs and waist with ease and stands up.

“H-Hey,” you protest. You’re gravely debilitated so you do not move at all aside from a hand feebly clutching his shirt for support. He kicks the door close and walks over to your bed.

“Do you have a fucking death wish, y/n?”

Even with his harsh tone, he’s extra careful to duck down from your top bunk because he’s too big for the damn thing. If he’s not mindful, he’ll surely bump his bed on the metal frame.

He delicately lies you down on your bed as he manages to sit beside you without hurting himself.

Your eyes are closed and your whole face screams of discomfort. Your mouth opens as you scuffle the words to come out.

“Go home. You’ll get...sick too. Game soon,” you whisper hoarsely.

As usual, you’re still thinking about the team. Is it always everything else before yourself? Don’t you really know how to take a fucking break? It’s an eyesore. Watching you slowly but surely deteriorate yourself is more taxing than handling your childish nonsense.

He’d love to give you an earful of his thoughts about your pressing behavior, but it’s not what you need to hear at the moment. “Who should I call to be here?” he asks instead.

You force your eyelids to open and look at him. “No one. I can take care of…,” you trail off as your eyes begin to flutter close again.

He can’t decide if it’s funny or foolish that you think you can take care of yourself when you can’t even finish your sentence. “Right,” he says, unable to help himself from sounding sarcastic despite your situation. It’s just so stupid how this easily could be avoided if you didn’t push yourself too hard.

He’s in no way responsible for you. He should just walk out like you said. You did this to yourself. There’s no reason for him to stay there.

Yet, he puts down his bag and takes off his jacket.

“Do you have a medicine kit?”

His question is no longer heard. You’re already passed out. He stands up and starts looking around your room for anything that resembles a first aid kit. If you do have one, you didn’t place it where someone can easily see it.

He sighs as he’s left with no choice but to go out and buy the stuff you need. He can’t possibly go through your things. It feels like an invasion of your privacy.

When he comes back from the pharmacy, he’s expecting that you’d ease up even a bit since you finally stopped working. But when he sits beside you again, he can see the same worrisome distraught wrinkling your pretty face.

Alt hough he doesn’t want to disturb you, he has to. He needs to feed you, get you to take medicine, wipe you with cool compress, chang e your clothes, then tuck you back in bed. After that, he still needs to stay to make sure your stubborn ass won’t get back to working once you feel a tiny bit better.

He feels all his facial muscles droop down at the amount of chores he needs to do for you. He really shouldn’t bother. He can just turn a blind eye and go home, leave you alone since you brought this upon yourself.

But there he is, tending to your needs for no substantive reason other than him being a decent person. Well, he’s already taken the first step, so screw it.

He can still work on his own uni requirements while he watches over you anyways.

Although you resisted a bit at first, your own lack of strength makes you give in to his attempt to cater to your sickly needs. The feeding and the medicine was an easy task. You were practically a lifeless doll and just went with whatever he tells you to do.

Now that he’s in your bathroom with a small basin of cool water and a small towel hanging on his shoulder, he contemplates on how to proceed with the next step: a sponge bath. He should just hand you the towel along with a new set of clothes, leave the room, then come back after a few minutes.

Because he is not doing it.

He won’t be undressing you and wiping your naked body. Just no. You should gather whatever energy you have left because you’ll be doing that all on your own.

He dips the towel in the basin and squeezes the excess water out of it. He puts the moist towel in a container and goes back to your bed.

“Hey, sit up for a bit.”

You groan softly, but does as you’re told. He puts the small plastic case with the towel on your bed and helps you get up. “I’ll get you a new set of clothes, then wipe yourself down,” he instructs you.

You let out one short hum of approval, so he goes to your drawers. He pulls the first shirt and bottoms he sees. As long as you have your blanket, it should be fine if you’re not wearing thick clothing.

When he turns around, he finds you holding the wet towel to your shoulder, completely still as you rest against the wall by your bed. You fell asleep with the towel soaking up your shirt.

“Crap,” he curses as he rushes back to you.

He places your fresh clothes to the side and hurriedly removes the towel off of you. He’s about to shake you back to consciousness but aborts his plan as soon as he touches your other shoulder.

You look like you really want to do it yourself as well. Even now, he can see minute movements from your fingers as if you’re still trying to follow his directions earlier.

Goddamn it. It’s really up to him now, isn’t it?

He glances at you one last time, thinking of another way out. If you hadn’t gotten your shirt wet, he would have ditched the sponge bath idea already. Now he’s left with no choice but to proceed with it.

Whatever. It’s just a human body for Christ’s sake. He shouldn’t be as alarmed as he currently is. He’s seen a female human body before. Yours should be no different.

He takes a deep breath and gently tugs up the shirt you’re wearing.

‘They’re just mammary glands,’ he repeats in his head but makes sure his eyes never land anywhere near the blob lump of fat on your chest.

He gets to work, brushing the cool towel starting on the sides of your face, then down to your neck. You must only be half-asleep because you lift your chin up a bit to allow him access to the column of your neck. He keeps his eyes on it as his hand travels down a bit further.

He spreads the coolness of the towel on your chest, but as soon as he feels a particular softness, drags his hands back up. With his hand still on your chest, he feels the pace of your breathing quicken a bit. When shoots his eyes up to your face, you’re already looking at him with dazed eyes and slightly agape mouth.

Beautiful. Too fucking beautiful for his liking.

It’s ridiculous. People are supposed to look like shit when they’re sick, not inviting.

A certain delicate temptation kicks in, urging him to back away a bit to reward himself with a quick sweep of your semi naked figure.

‘No,’ he grounds himself.

He’s not that barbaric. He’s not doing this so he has an excuse to ogle at you.

So why is he doing this?

With the turbulent thoughts reigning in his mind, he unknowingly squeezes the moist towel he’s holding against your skin.

The cool water drenching from his palm distracts him from his pondering. Reflex makes him look at his hand and involuntarily follows the slow trickle of water down the supple mount of flesh he’s been meaning to avoid looking at this whole time.

He realizes he’s been staring, but he’s too enthralled to stop. He lets his eyes wander further down, still watching how the droplet glides to your stomach. It gets absorbed by the fabric as it reaches down the waistband of your shorts.

The absence of the water he’s been trailing with his eyes snaps him out of his trance.

What the fuck is he doing?

He quickly moves on to your arms, patting your skin aggressively and haphazardly so he can finally get this cumbersome chore over with.

When you recover from this, he’s going to barrage you with a litany of fulmination on your self-destructive habits.

He’s supposed to wipe your thighs and legs too, but the idea is already tossed away as his train of thought is antagonizingly twisted today.

As fast as he can, he puts on the shirt he got for you. He was being gentle previously, but his priority at present is to cover up your exposed body away from his sight.

When he successfully clothes you, he gently lays you down again. He pulls the blanket to your shoulders and looks at your overall state.

You look a bit better now so he goes to your study table. He tidies up your stuff and puts them aside for him to set down his own.

Finally, he can get his shit done while he waits for your fever to go down.

He’s halfway through his elective course when he hears you whimper. He ignores it the first two times, but he hears it again louder the third time, he concludes something is wrong.

When he gets to your bed, you’re shivering frantically even with your blanket covering your whole body. He quickly searches for another one and piles it over the one you already have.

It only lessens your trembling but it’s still there. Your pretty face is still ruffled with unease. He touches your arm and finds out that you’re shaking way worse than you look.

In just seconds, he slips inside the blankets and draws you in to provide you the body heat you might need. You desperately cling onto him, pressing your body to share what he silently offered. Your fingers that are clutching the back of his shirt are quivering. You sink your face on his chest with agitation, badly in need for an additional source of warmth.

His displeasure towards your self-negligence dwindles when he feels your trembling body against his. Yes, this might be your fault, but he’s certain you hate this more than he does. Not only are you in pain, but you probably see this as a waste of your valuable time. You brought this upon yourself, but you don’t deserve it.

He encases his arm on your waist and tugs you even closer. He lowers his body a bit and gently nestles your face on his neck so you can feel the direct warmth of his skin on your cheeks.

Within a few minutes, you begin to relax within his embrace. The tremors become less and less until your fingers on his shirt loosen up.

You faintly pull back to look at him. “Sorry, Tsukki,” you mumble groggily with forlorn eyes.

“Shut up,” he utters without any trace of hostility as he cups the back of your head and buries your face on his neck again.

Your grip on him slackens but you don’t let go. You ease into him with your breathing getting even and your heart beating softly against his chest. When your chills completely fade away, he’s left with nothing but the softness of your body within the confines of his touch.

He becomes more aware of your bodies tangled against each other now that you’re completely still. The plumpness of your breasts are pinned on him. Your ample lips are grazing his neck. His pinky and ring fingers are hovering just below your spine, almost touching the curve of your behind.

To make things worse, you begin letting out small moans of succor which he can hear only because you’re too close.

He should be immune to this. He’s already had his fair share of kisses with you and sometimes, it involves a lot of touching. However, it is never as intimate as this. The furthest you two have gone was when he slipped a hand underneath your shirt before your friend barged in.

Before today, he had never seen your bare body. He had never held you to the point that almost your every curve melds with his. He has never thought about what it’d be like to do more than just making out. Only now when you’re not even doing so.

He considers himself a level-headed person driven by logic and rationality, but for crying out loud, your thigh is nudging on his crotch as if challenging his self-control.

As much as he wants to keep himself in check, his own body betrays him when his dick starts to nudge back at your right thigh.

‘Breathe in, breathe out,’ he reminds himself repeatedly to calm himself down.

“Hmmm,” you snuggle even more on his neck, your moist lips tracing his skin before you press it on him as you relax even further.

Fuck.

The shameful tent in his pants is becoming painful on his jeans as his imagination runs wild. How will you sound if it's the other way around, if it's his lips that’s traveling on your neck? How will you react if it’s his palms kneading the supple flesh pressed against his chest right now? Would you blush a deeper shade of red than the one you’re wearing if he slams his…

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He can’t decide who is more sick: you or him, who’s lusting over you despite your situation. His plan to chastise you for your own inattentiveness for your own health is back in action. He’ll make sure it's ingrained into that irresponsible, beautiful head of yours.

To distract himself from his inane fantasies, he forces himself to recall the scientific names of all the reptile species he’s aware of.  And when he’s exhausted his mental list, he moves on to whatever animal species he can think of until he dozes off with you.

--

You haven’t opened your eyes yet, but as you regain consciousness, you can tell that you had an amazing nap. For the first time, you reap the benefits of a power nap. It feels like you slept for a complete eight hours or even more. You no longer feel sick. You celebrate the after effects of the nap, stretching your legs before you get up.

You look out your window and see that the light is still a dark shade of blue so you still have the whole evening to finish what you need to do.

When you turn your glance to your table, Tsukishima’s seated on the floor with his laptop in front of him.

Why is Tsukishima here? You texted him and called off your meeting today.

Something’s off.

You don’t really remember going to bed. You just remember doing one of your subjects when you heard someone knock.

“Tsukishima,” you call his attention urgently.

He turns to you, but you can’t see his eyes from the light reflecting on his glasses from his screen. “What time is it?”

He looks back to his laptop. “It’s 5 am.”

What?!

You didn’t take a nap. You fucking slept. A more horrid realization comes to you when you remember what happened before you did. You passed out and Tsukishima fixed you up.

Shit! He’s been telling you all the time to stop overworking yourself and he had to be there and clean up the mess you did to yourself.

You panic when he sits beside you. You sit properly, hands on your lap, pressed lips, eyes on the floor as you prepare yourself for a long, tedious arduous lecture from the blonde.

“Hey.”

You slowly turn towards him, anticipating the slew of curses about to unroll from him.

“Y-yes?”

You keep your eyes leveled on his chest, embarrassed of yourself for burdening him with your unwell ass.

Instead of speaking, he inserts a thermometer in your mouth, causing you to shoot your gaze up to him. Neither of you say anything and just hold each other’s stare until the thermometer beeps.

He takes it out of your mouth and checks your temperature.

“You’re okay now,” he announces, then starts getting ready to leave. “Don’t bother coming to training later or else I’ll tell Coach that I caught you extremely sick,” he threatens nonchalantly.

Your mind is running laps on how to process everything all at once, but you decide to deal with the most pressing one.

“Uhhhh..”

He glances at you, silently waiting for what you’re going to say, but you only gape at him as well.

What were you going to say again? Shit, you actually can’t remember what it is.

He disregards your quietness and proceeds to your door. “You should just stay in. One day of missing classes won’t cost you your scholarship,” he says before he closes the door behind him.

“Wait.”

He’s gone. It’s only then you remember you wanted to say thanks.

--

When you come back to the gym two days after, everyone expresses their worry about you. You assure them that you’re completely fine now. Even with the love and concern you are showered with, your eyes scan for someone who isn’t among the players in front of you.

There he is, dribbling the ball and is about to do a jump serve. Just before he tosses the ball in the air, he looks at your direction.

“Y/n?” Kogane’s voice pulls you back to them.

“What was that?” you ask because you didn’t hear whatever they were saying.

“He was asking if you’re really okay now,” Eiji says.

You nod enthusiastically. “So stop wasting your training time on me and practice instead,” you say with cheerful authority that they’re very pleased to hear again.

Once the crowd disperses, you spring your way to the middle blocker who didn’t welcome you back.

“Hello!” you greet him sprightly.

“What?” he asks with a bored tone.

You step closer to him for the next thing you’re going to say is for his ears only. “I really appreciate what you did the other day.”

Tsukishima sees the earnest, grateful expression on your face, but what grips his attention is how refreshed you look. You look brighter than you usually do.

He was almost sure that you were going to ignore what he said about going absent on both in classes and in here, but you seem to have taken his advice with how well-rested you are.

But most of all, he didn’t expect you’d bring it up during your working hours. Neither of you talks about what happens in private when you’re the ‘Sendai Frogs’ manager,’ not his classmate, or occasional kiss-buddy .

“I don’t,” he responds vacuously to your thankful sentiment. It was a very tough night for him. When he woke up, his erection was still raging through his pants. As undignified as it was, he got himself off in your comfort room just to ease the unbearable sexual tension that was still there in the morning.

As usual, you don’t take offense from his sour remark. You chuckle whole-heartedly and pat him hard on his shoulders. “Of course you don’t,” you say mirthfully before you walk over to Coach Mira.

It was a very tough night you made him endure, but he’s relieved to see you back on your feet.

--

The team is going to the fourth match of the regular rounds. Three more after this and you get the chance to have a game from the bottom two teams from Division 1.

As you and the team march towards the court, you hear someone call Tsukishima.

“Tsukki!”

You look at whoever it is and stop when you see Kotarou Bokuto, the wing spiker of MSBY Jackals, crazy energy on court, super clean line shot.

He’s waving energetically at Tsukishima while the latter just nods at him. You grab Tsukki by his shirt and stop him from advancing any further.

“You guys go ahead. We’ll be there in a sec,” you tell Kogane who’s the person in front of you. He nods at you then walks off with the rest of the team.

“Why did we stop?” Tsukishima asks with a frown.

“How do you know Bokuto?” you ask.

“I used to train with him during high school,” he says like it’s nothing because to him it really is not a big deal. Bokuto and Kuroo practically coerced him to join their free practices when he already wanted to call it a day. Training with them was a drag - a drag that pushed him to become a better blocker.

Among the four of them who regularly practiced in the third gym, it was him and Bokuto who went professional. Even if the wing spiker is in a higher division, he still sees Bokuto as the same person who told him it only takes one hit to be hooked on the sport. Bokuto just got better at it.

Other than that, he still seems like the silly guy Tsukishima knows him to be.

“Can you introduce me?” you say as you try to hide the zeal in your eyes, but horribly failing to do so.

“Shouldn’t I go warm up?” he counters instead of responding to your question.

“I promise to be very nice to you in the three succeeding training days. Introduce me, please, ” you beseech graciously at him, insistent on meeting the athlete.

“Make it five days,” he tests to see your conviction.

But you easily agree, “Deal!”

Seeing that you won’t let this go easily, he thinks it would be better to just give you what you want.

You both walk over to where Bokuto is. Beside him is another part of the third gym, Kuroo, who’s now the official promoter of the Volleyball Association.

“Hey hey hey, Tsukki!”

“Hey,” the lack of enthusiasm in his response totally contrasts Bokuto’s. “This is-“

“Hi!! I’m Y/n, Tsukishima’s manager,” you cut him off which makes him jolt. Why even bother asking him to introduce when you’re more than capable of doing it yourself?

You grab Bokuto’s hand and shake it vigorously. “It’s such a pleasure to meet you,” you dramatically state, your eyes twinkling with idolatry.

Bokuto, as expected, is exceedingly glad from the adoration. He uses his two hands to shake yours and reciprocate the same energy you gave him.

“I’m such a huge fan. Personally, you’re my favorite player from Division 1. I don’t care what others say. That chest bump. Flawless save!” you drag on, endlessly showering the spiker with compliments which Bokuto is totally eating up.

He’s egging you up even more by constantly nodding, laughing, and agreeing in everything you’re saying.

Meanwhile, Kuroo and Tsukishima are just standing there watching the whole exchange.

“I’m sorry if this is a stretch, but can I hug you?” you ask almost like a tame puppy.

He’s been disregarding the entire conversation, but really? A hug? Have you no shame? Not that he cares but should you be ogling at another athlete when you’re wearing the uniform of Sendai Frogs?

Great. Go worship a big brawny dude from Division 1 minutes before your own team’s game. How thoughtless.

He imagined it would be a civil hug but then you open your arms to Bokuto and envelop him in the warmest hug he’s ever seen you give. His eyes drop to Bokuto’s limbs which are ensnared around your waist as the spiker hauls you closer to his body.

How imprudent. It was a mistake bringing you to Bokuto. You should have known it’s unwise to mix up your personal agenda with your work. You should have known that it was better if you just ignored Bokuto and made him warm up, than make him introduce you to your favorite player.

What is wrong with you?

Kuroo’s attention slips from you to Tsukishima’s change of demeanor. Tsukishima is usually unbothered, but as soon as you embraced Bokuto, Tsukishima’s mood became sour. It is an amusing sight to watch.

He never thought Tsukishima would associate himself with an individual as lively as you. But who could blame him?

He, himself, has just been watching since you fanned the ego of his old buddy. You have not graced him even a glance since you approached them. Your eyes were all set on Bokuto. You’re probably not aware that another presence is also there.

So he’ll make you be aware.

“Ehem,” he clears his throat to grab your attention, which works as you shift your gaze from Bokuto to him. “Hello,” he flashes you the best smile he has, but has no effect whatsoever at you.

The difference in treatment is drastic. While you revere Bokuto with adoration, you regard him like a nuisance. It’s not that palpable, but it’s there. You look at him like he’s an obligation to deal with.

Your smile is rehearsed and so is the cheerful “Hi” that you give him.

“Kuroo Tetsurou,” he introduces as he offers his hand. You take without hesitation, firmly gripping his extended hand for a brisk, professional handshake.

“Y/n, manager of the Sendai Frogs,” you respond in an amicable, yet refined manner. He gets his business card from his pocket and hands it to you.

“So, Miss Manager, how are the Frogs doing?” he asks to strike up a conversation.

You scrutinize his business card for a quick while then pockets it. “I believe as their manager, I, myself, represent the team more than my words can. So what do you say, Mr. Promoter?” The professionalism chips off and reveals a real slice of you - sly and mischievous, as you compose your stature and put a hand on your hip, accentuating your curves.

He crosses his arms as he eyes you from head to toe without any reservation, then back up again.

“I say the Sendai Frogs are looking hot this season,” he says with his own grin that’s just as devious as yours.

“There’s your answer then,” you give him a wink that almost makes his heart flutter.

‘Geez, lady. Take it easy on unsuspecting men,’ he thinks to himself but easily recovers as his grin spreads out.

“Oy, we should be getting back,” Tsukishima says, breaking Kuroo’s trance towards you. You snap out of it as well, agreeing with Tsukishima as you give the blonde a nod.

“It’s so nice to really meet you, Bokuto,” you tell Bokuto before turning around. Even though you’re treating Kuroo as if he doesn’t exist, he can’t help but be intrigued even more by you.

“Bye, y/n,” he says a bit loudly for you to hear since you’re already a few steps away from them.

You’re about to look back but Tsukishima puts a hand on your shoulders and starts talking to you. Kuroo would have disregarded it, but he doesn’t miss the quick glare Tsukishima throws at Kuroo and Bokuto. What’s even more eye-catching is how Tsukishima’s hand travels down a bit on your back.

You don’t take notice of it though. It might because you’re preoccupied or because you genuinely don’t mind. But for Tsukishima to do so, it’s a different story altogether.

“Hey Bokuto, did you see that?” he turns to his friend.

“Uh huh. She’s so pretty!” Bokuto squawks out, obviously not catching what Kuroo did. Kuroo just lets it go since it wouldn’t really do much even if he tries to explain. He looks back at you and agrees with Bokuto instead.

“Yeah, very pretty.”

--

Even though you’re the one who broke off the deal, you still feel the urge to kiss Tsukishima at times. He does too. You notice the way he glances at you briefly then returns to his work as soon you catch him.

It’s not awkward. There’s none of the tension-filled air, probably because you’re both aware that the impulse is there. You just silently agreed to dismiss it.

It’s all good though. It’s for the best. You don’t want another slip-up like the one from the Jaguars’ match. What’s weird is that even though you’re no longer making out, it feels like nothing has changed.

You still sit beside him. He still lets you lean on him. He still lets out nasty side comments but he’s not as rancorous as they used to be.

“You’re spacing out again,” he points out.

“That’s cause I’m done, Tsukishima,” you counter immediately while still gazing at your window across you. “Anyways, I’m gonna nap,” you announce.

He stops typing and looks at you. That’s weird. He’s always the one strenuously suggesting that you take a break when you’re feeling tired. What gives?

“Are you sick?” A bubble of unwarranted concern rises within him from your sudden inclination to take a nap.

“Oh, no. But I’m going to a party later so I need to recharge a bit.” You head to your bed and start straightening out the crumpled bedsheets.

Party? Are you out of your fucking mind? You could rest instead, make the most out of the night by catching up on sleep. But you’d rather attend a pointless party? Here he thought you were being thoughtful of your own health.

Not to mention, there might be perverts getting their hands all over you again. Obviously you can protect yourself, but wouldn’t you prefer not having one ogling and harassing you?

“Mind enlightening me how a vomit-smelling gathering is of any benefit to you?”

“Mind enlightening why it’s any of your business?” you retort instantly.

“It’s not,” he responds just as swiftly. “I’m just curious because I honestly don’t get it,” he says calmly. If you want to go to the damned party, then by all means. He really doesn’t care what you do with your free time.

“If you’re so worried, Tsukishima, you’re very welcome to come,” you tell him, mockery dripping from your invitation.

“I’d rather not,” he says dryly.

You shrug as you slip under your blanket. “Lock the door when you leave.”

“Unbelievable,” he mutters.

--

‘Truly unbelievable,’ he tells himself again as the smell of cigarette and alcohol tickles his nostrils while he sits at the bar, mulling over whatever the hell possessed him to come there.

It definitely isn’t because of you.

He’s not looking for you either nor is he worried about you.

It’s worse than he remembers. There are more people than last time and the music is banging on his eardrums.

“Are you getting anything?” the bartender asks him.

Although he absolutely detests alcohol, he feels like punishing himself tonight for lack of better judgment in coming there.

“Your worst drink.”

--

Even though you slept that afternoon, you still don’t plan on staying out too long for the party. You just wanted to catch up with some uni friends and instead of meeting them all one by one, it would be efficient if you attend this party and meet them all at once.

Although you would prefer if you just slept or watched a documentary, you think it’s necessary for you to be here. You almost don’t have any time to spend with friends. This might be your last chance to do so since it’s almost graduation.

As usual, you avoid drinking since you hate dealing with hangovers. You learned that the hard way when you had to keep up with who’s scoring points in an official match while an invisible hammer pounds your head.

So, despite the endless free shots given to you, you persistently decline. You also did not pay much attention to the dance floor to save your energy.

After a while of talking to everyone you know, you look around to check if you missed anyone. That’s when you catch a glimpse of a familiar blonde slouching by the bar.

‘ No. It’s not possible ,’ you say to yourself but you’re already smiling hard as you saunter to where he is. It’s very unlikely that it’s him but on the rare chance that he is, you’re not going to let it slip by.  

He’s facing down his glass which is joined by two empty shot glasses. You lean back with both your elbows on the counter.

“You new here?” you playfully ask. If it’s not who you think it is, you’ll just dance awkwardly to throw him off.

“I actually am,” he says as he encircles the rim of his glass with his index finger. Then he raises his face to turn to you.

When he reveals his face, you confirm that it is indeed Tsukishima, but at the same time, he looks nothing like his usual self.

The tips of his ears up to his neck are burning red while his eyes are dazed like you’ve never seen them before. But that’s not the weirdest thing.

He’s smiling. He’s fucking smiling like a happy idiot.

“Tsukishima?” you ask him for confirmation in any case that it’s just someone who looks extremely like him.

“Hmmm?” he asks with a little bit of a slur that throws you off.

As if you’re not astounded enough by the scene unfolding before you, he grabs you by the waist and lugs you until you’re situated between his thighs.

“Who did you think it was, manager?”

Part 5 || Part 7 || masterlist

taglist (those crossed out can’t be tagged)

@ameliaxo @suikrem @akaashisslave @tsumurai  @loving-unicorns106 @flairlust @geektastic84 @anaiss97 @berna-dette @just4readingfics @suteorra @xxekitten69xx @simp4tsukkii @music-is-all-i-need @keshinslittlegirl @raspberrysunshinebby @iminlovewhaikyuu @pdiddy11 @lightyagamami @sailorscout1902 @lovershaikyuu  @expectonothinfromme @finnydraws @namelessidentity @hqbeesun @yatoatyourservice @mrkozume @suzuyamitsuki @celestialarchiveshq @yongboxerrr @gomenpudding @kutiekoge @fizzfrick @flamingosis @korean-bbq @ihaterainbowsprinkles @red-lint @backtonormalthings @borpcorp @lonelyheartxn​

[seoafin]

saw the ask abt dad!geto and i have some angst to add! LMAO but au where mc deflects w geto and they have the twins, but since twins are seen as a bad omen in jjk, neither of them have cursed energy. now you have geto at a stand still since he IS there father but he also helped create the one thing he swore to rid the world of. sorrynotsorry lol

i feel like on one hand geto might rationalize not killing them. his daughter has your eyes, and he looks into his son's face and sees your nose, your cheekbones, your smile. the both of them look at him like he hung the moon, and there is nothing less than pure trust in their eyes when they reach for him to carry them or beg him to read them a bedtime story or cling to his leg.

on the other hand...............

or...maybe there's an instinctive feeling. an unsettling one. a faint nudge in the back of your mind that has unease tightening around your heart and neck like a noose. you know that cursed techniques don't manifest in children until they're older, yet it doesn't stop you from holding a hand to your stomach and trying to check for even the slightest trace of cursed energy. something to put your put your fears to rest, to reassure you that at least they won't be bereft of cursed energy even though it's impossible to know until the children are born. you try to tell yourself you're being paranoid, but it eats away at you. the question of their abilities. every living thing emits cursed energy. but at the same time, you've felt the absolute lack of, the nothingness. one night you startle awake, and you know.

you watch suguru and the soft smile on his lips when he tries to guess what gender the twins will be. the way his face lights up in delight when the children kick at his touch, as if they know their father is in the vicinity. but you also watch the way his eyes narrow, lips pulled back in disgust, when he sees normal human beings, people whose cursed energies flicker like the flame of a candle caught in the wind. nothing but a blight that should be permanently wiped.

you can't take any chances.

it's been five years and satoru still hasn't changed his phone number. you chalk it up to laziness. he’s never been the sentimental type.

he picks up on the first ring.

[arhvste]

can you maybe do some hcs w kuroo tsukishima and oikawa when their s/o is being bullied by people from school?

love me some savage haikyuu boys 😈

-

KUROO, TSUKISHIMA AND OIKAWA REACTING TO THEIR S/O BEING BULLIED

-

KUROO

kuroo is a perspective little shit 

he analysis’ anything and everything 

he isn’t called the scheming captain for nothing 

so when he notice’s his s/o feeling down or acting different from normal he will find out what’s bothering them

he’ll ask you first

and if you’re not willing to give clear answers he’ll just find out himself

he doesn't want to overstep privacy boundaries

but if you’re being upset by something he feels like it’s his duty as your boyfriend to sort it out

so one day you’re waiting for him after practice

and you both usually meet outside the gym doors to talk home together

however

this time you’ve unfortunately encountered the people who have been making school life unbearable for you

“look its stupid little y/n!”

“why are you still here? waiting for your boyfriend like some sort of lost dog?”

“i don’t know how he puts up with you”

“so clingy and desperate for support i feel so bad for him”

they have you cornered and you’re outnumbered by far 

kuroo has been waiting outside the gym doors for 5 minutes now and is confused 

you’re never ever late 

so he wanders around looking for you since you aren't answering your phone 

now kuroo is annoying but he isn’t stupid

he’s had a hunch about what’s been bothering you lately

he’s noticed a few kids often hang behind class until you leave and they seem to surround you when you’re trying to leave your classroom

he never intervened because he didn’t want to wrongly accuse them of harassing you in case you were friends with them

but you still didn’t look particularly thrilled when you got away from them

so kuroo hears some familiar voices and he heads straight over to them

“don’t cry y/n you don't want to look even more ugly than you already do”

“oh look y/n’s crying they can't even handle a few jokes”

“your boyfriend might even dump you when he sees you”

“the only ones who need dumping are all of you into a pit of fire 🥰”

there stands the 6′2, muscular built, powerhouse school national level volleyball captain with the coldest look he’s ever had

the kids surrounding you are dead silent

“what? nobodies got anything to say now? i thought we were all just laughing and joking with each other so why’d we stop now?”

kuroos eyes soften as soon as they meet yours 

he’s grabbed your hand and pulled you tightly into his chest

“i don't think much of a warning needs to be made but let me make this clear just this once because i don't like having to remind people things, come near her, approach, talk about or to her again and you’re going to have a personal problem with me and my team. got it?”

lmfao the little bitches nod trembling and run 🏃🏽‍♀️

kuroo is such a science nerd who makes awful jokes and has the worlds most obnoxious laugh 

but he’s also a man and a captain and sometimes it’s easy to forget that

he can pick and choose when and what he wants to be perceived as

and right then he has chosen to show you who he really can be 

“why didn’t you tell me angel?”

“i didn’t want to have to bother you”

“oh baby you’re never ever a bother to me. im sorry i couldn't help sooner please never hesitate to tell me if anything like this happens again”

kuroo’s warning sticks with your bullies and they don't bother you anymore

the volleyball team and coach nekomata are throwing dirty ass looks at them too nfjdsbfjs

all in all, kuroo just wants you to know he is there to support you

and he’ll do anything to make sure you’re happy and comfortable 

-

TSUKISHIMA

lmao all i’ve got to say to your bullies is good luck

because if tuski finds out you’ve been bullying his s/o

you’re done for 

this boy has no mercy

he doesn't even need to physically fight

his words can cut deeper than any knife and he knows it 

so when he notices you've been feeling more anxious around school and clinging to him a little more

he grows sus

he’s immediately closing in on who is bothering you and what insults he wants to throw at them

tuski has an exam and it runs a little into lunch 

he told you that if it runs over than you can just wait by your classroom and he’d come and get you 

however while you’re waiting you have a run in with the students who have been giving you a hard time 

just like tuski you’re a student who thrives in academics 

so a few of your classmates aren't particularly fond of your constant reign of lead in your class

“ew y/n you gross weirdo why are you here?”

“they’re probably waiting for their boyfriend to come and pick them up”

“such an entitled little shit, waiting to be collected who do you think you are”

so far you’d done pretty well ignoring them 

but that was in an environment with many other students who’d call your bullies out if they were to step out of line in class

right now you’re an easy target though

nobody to protect you

well that’s what you thought anyway

you feel your bag get snatched from your hands and thrown to the ground 

the bullies are kicking your stuff around laughing while you have no choice but to watch is despair 

that's until one of them is tripped up and lands face flat onto the ground

“you think i should kick them around and see if they can take it?”

tuski is standing there with a dark smile on his face

“so brave of you to pick on my y/n when you all have the audacity to look the way you do and don't even get me started on your academics”

“if i were you'd just apologise to your parents now because realistically what are you all going to do in your lives? success doesn't really look like it fits any of you to be honest”

the other students don't even know what to say

they can't exactly say anything

tsukishima is known to have a sharp tongue with an endless flow of direct insults 

“it’d be a shame if a teacher were to find out about this wouldn't it. im thinking suspension maybe? perhaps you should all call your parents up right now and apologise for your inevitable suspension”

the bullies look at each other nervously

he couldn’t be serious right

“im waiting”

these kids whip out their phones and are calling their confused parents trying to explain about how they could be suspended

“now off you all go, get out of my sight and don't you dare come near her again”

they be sprinting out the hallways 

“you weren’t actually gonna get them suspended were you?”

“it was depending on how fast they called their parents really”

tsukishima is on the floor helping you gather you trashed things

“im annoyed you didn't tell me. don't keep things like this from me yeah? cause not only am i here for you but, i get a kick out of it to. besides, im the only one who gets to be playfully mean to you.”

and he’ll make sure to keep a closer eye on you and keep you around him for a little longer just till he’s certain you’ve been left alone

OIKAWA

fangirls 

the absolute bane of his existence 

oikawa appreciated the support but it was overbearing sometimes 

especially when he just wants to spend time with his precious y/n-chan

in front of him, his fangirls would be so polite and supportive 

“you and y/n look so good together”

“i hope you’re treating them well”

“oikawa is is lucky”

but behind his back these girls were nothing but vicious and spiteful towards you 

you knew you’d have to deal with his fangirls at some point 

you’d decided to keep your relationship hidden for the first few months until oikawa suggested going public and you felt like you couldn’t say no

you’d hear comments as you walked through the halls

classes would’ve been a nightmare if iwaizumi wasn’t in your class

he knew you were struggling with oikawa’s fangirls but you pleaded him not to say anything to his best friend 

iwaizumi didn't exactly want to keep this from oikawa but he also didn't want to go against your wishes 

you compromised instead and told iwaizumi about everything the fangirls put you through and sometimes he’d even take it lightly into his own hand 

despite the fact you had oikawa’s best friend looking out for you, this was also a reason the bullying got worse

“you think you can get iwaizumi to back you up now? you want the whole team or what?”

yes

“stop being so overdramatic oikawa shouldn’t have to put up with someone as fragile as you”

“he can do so much better did you manifest or do witchcraft to get him to date you?”

the comments had become so common to you they started to have no effect

you slowly became more and more emotionally unavailable and this was something oikawa had started to pick up on

“y/n-chan you’ve stopped smiling at me so much. have i upset you?”

at first he’d think he did something wrong and he’d desperatly rack his brain for anything he could’ve done to offend you

“no you haven’t tooru i’ve just been tired lately”

you’d lie and give him a small fake smile 

but oikawa has given enough fake smiles in his life and is more than capable of being able to tell a real smile to a fake one

like kuroo though, he wouldn’t want to push any privacy boundaries and can only hope you’d open up to him soon

it doesn’t mean he’s not going to be watching you even closer now

he’ll ask iwaizumi whether he’s seen a change in your behaviour 

iwaizumi has finally decided this has gone too far

“idiot do you not see it’s your shitty fangirls that are making them miserable?”

“my fangirls?”

“yes your fangirls. y/n can’t catch a break with them around they’re really nasty to her and i don’t know how it’s taken you so long to see”

now that oikawa thinks about it you do cling to him a little tighter when they’re around

you don’t thank them for their ‘compliments’ about your relationship with the setter

you go extremely quiet and anxious when they’re around

oikawa had just thought it was nerves from sudden attention

he didn’t realise they had been secretly harassing you 

so oikawa goes to wait outside your locker when the day ends

“tooru shouldn't you be at practice?”

“come with me” he says sternly but he’s giving you a reassuring look as he grips your hand securely in his larger one

he walks you quickly through the halls and round to the entrance of the gym where his fangirls are usually waiting for practice to start

“oikawa-san! why aren’t you in uniform? is practice cancelled?”

“oh y/n is here... that's cute”

oikawa is beyond livid just from their presence alone

they even had the nerve to say your name?

“you know what isn’t fucking cute though? your disgusting behaviour”

the fangirls are look between each other innocently

“what do you mean oikawa-san?”

“don’t play oblivious with me you bitches! what was going through your heads when you all thought it was okay to harass MY y/n-chan?!”

the girls are silent now

oikawa is usually so charming and relaxed 

nobody sees him worked up outside the court

“there’s a reason none of you have even been allowed to be considered to have the chance to get to know me, you’re all fake. every single one of you. i hate fake people more than anything. this behaviour is gross i want none of you associated with me get out of here and if i hear one more thing about anyone upsetting y/n hell will be broken loose and that won’t just be from me.”

oikawa did not stutter 😌

king

the girls leave immediately 

“i think you’ve just lost yourself your whole fan club”

“oh y/n they were never fans if they have the nerve to upset someone they know i love. why didn’t you tell me i would’ve said something sooner”

“i just didn't want to upset you about your fans”

“you’re always going to be the first priority to me always if they or anyone else ever bothers you again, promise you’ll tell me straight away?”

“promise.”

after that he’ll take you to sit on the bench on the side of the court so you can watch him play and he can keep an eye on you

yeah oikawa may seem like a carefree people pleaser

but if you’re upsetting his s/o, you’ll be experiencing the side he tries to keep under control and he won’t be afraid to let loose.

-

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

[equalseleventhirds]

i think part of the reason no one studies small fears is like, they want to find events that are obviously supernatural? like its not so much about "what are you afraid of?" but "how are ghosts taking that to gain more power?" which means smirke was kind of like, building his theory from the wrong direction. like, you see, say, a statement about the desolation and you go "oh, theres a fear of fire, a fear of loss" but the second step isnt ever to find ppl who HAVE a fear of loss & interview them

honestly thats probably why everyone at the institute turns evil. no one is thinking about the little details so all of their research is like. your trauma. hand it over. instead of having a real honest talk about why someone might be afraid of clowns or etc. i'll bet if a research stumbled into fear theories from pyschology instead of like, trying to prove mary shelley's frankenstein is Real they'd probably make a much better diagnosis method. maybe thats what the songling institute uses 

yeah ur right! like, i can excuse ppl like jon and melanie and tim, ppl not in the know, who assumed the supernatural things going on were separate from Just Human Fear. but ppl in the know (like smirke and jonah and the lightless flame) just like... discounted normal fears from their plans and theories bcos what? they learned that supernatural murder fear can give them supernatural murder power and did not stop to think about the possibility of gaining power from smaller fears?

(why does ‘feed your god or it will feed on you’ REQUIRE supernatural murder fear. ok yeah not all avatars kill their victims or w/e but there’s.... such a lot of murder going on, and when there’s not it’s all Big Trauma still. not to bring good omens into it but is there an avatar out there doing the fear equivalent of tying up all the phone lines in a major city for a day. were they profiting just fine without needing to murder ppl, but that stuff doesn’t manifest as overtly supernatural so we never get to hear about it?)

like from a storytelling standpoint i DO get the focus on big supernatural murder trauma bcos that’s more important for horror, but in THEORY small everyday fears should be able to build up to the same power as big murder fears. ‘the lonely’s really got you’ ‘i think it always has’ is one, like, martin didn’t have a big fear experience but he DID have the fears associated with the lonely as a major part of his life and that was enough to ‘get’ him before peter came along. by discounting the power of smaller fears did all the ppl focused on big power lose out on what they could have had. hm.

and i very much enjoy the idea that the songling institute has like, a fuckton of research into normal fears in addition to the supernatural statements, properly looked into and addressed, that could be so helpful to anyone looking for good info on Fear Itself, and everyone in england just ignored that and missed out on it lmao

[muwur]

haikyuu x otome: masterlist |  prologue

» synopsis:  a haikyuu x reader au where you, the player, are bound for university in a metropolis several hours away from home. hope and excitement are replaced with dread as you come to realize that juggling life as a student and a part-time employee takes a toll. from demanding classes to a ruthless manager, life just can’t seem to give you a break. that is, until you meet a certain someone who reminds you how to live and follow your dreams. somehow, when you’re with them, time stands still. maybe things are finally starting to look up. if only you could stay in those moments for just a little longer. 

» disclaimer: i do not own haikyuu or any of the pixels in this post (i simply made collages out of them)

edit: it’s been brought to my attention that another HQ writer may have written something similar to this idea in the past and I was unaware. Though I haven’t seen this particular type of thing written yet, I don’t mean to claim this event idea as my own bc I feel a lot of events that ppl put up may have some overlapping themes n such (tho this idea would def be more specific and be cause for concern of plagiarism) and bc I would never want to steal ideas/not ask other writers first/not credit other writers (that’s not cool fam). If you have any issues with this event, pls bring them up w me, and if you know any other writers who’ve done smth similar, pls share w me their URLs! thank u for ur understanding :) I hope u can still enjoy haikyuu x otome :’)

» how to play:

I. you can refer here for the general rules of my blog. also, for this event (and it’ll say in the descriptions below), i’m only accepting one character per request. also the word count limits i wrote here may change as im getting started on actually writing requests lol

II. essentially a collection of x reader one-shots, drabbles, and smaus in which you are a busy college student whose only break seems to be spending time with friends who actually get you or the 15-minute lunch break during which you get to ignore annoying customers

III. since this is otome-inspired, i have several options you can choose from. these options are essentially types of requests:

» everyday is a new start 

» drabble about how you meet the character of your choice  

» it is not guaranteed y’all are gonna gel (get along) when you first meet,, warning: if the character is usually a bitch, i may write them as one LMAO jkjk but fr

» usually light, fluffy, and/or silly

» hmm tbh,,, idk word count,,, probs anywhere between 700-1k words (i edited this word count after writing my first thing bc HNNN)

» the only characters you can’t request this for is yamaguchi, tsukki n hinata,,, bc you meet them in the prologue AHAHA sry it’s nothing too spaicy since it’s just in the intro

» it’s all in the little things

» one-shots about normal, daily interactions with the character of your choice

» in other words, these include what can go on in a day in the life of y/n and the character of your choice (after they’ve already met). in the city, the possibilities are endless

» give me a word (or several, cuz writing is hard lmao. also legit any word, like ‘orange’ or ‘nostalgia.’ i may choose only one or do a combination from your list :3) as a prompt and ill somehow make something of it lmao

» medium relationship development + exp

» 700-1.5k words

» hmmm what should i get today?

» very short drabble with a character of your choice about various scenarios and thots i have in my head

» a complete surprise, totally random, may have no context

» may be serious, fluff, crack, etc. 

» if u choose this u basically told me ‘surprise me’

» 100-300 words, depends on my mood

» when i see your name pop up on the screen, i can’t help but smile 

» short smau with a character of your choice 

» fluff or crack, ur choice or leave that up to me (if unspecified, ill just flip a coin)

» you can either give me a word(s) as a guide or leave the topic of convo up to me

» 2-4 panels

» you’d be surprised how much can happen in a day 

» BMO has nothing to do with this, i just found a cute pixel of him

» spaicy relationship development, the scenes in which you actually make progress in the game

» one-shot with a character of your choice

» order from the following:

» macaron: when they realize they’ve fallen for you

» banana bread: when you realize you’ve fallen for them

» iced americano: when they feel a tinge of jealousy 

» hot chocolate: when they see you crying  

» matcha latte: when they have a longing to be around you

» cupcake: love confession (may be intentional or accidental)

» major relationship development + exp + sometimes confusion

» 1-2k words

» these will probs take me longer

» all good things must come to an end

»  not as angsty as those bolded words above sound,,, unless you want it to be >:)

» drabble or one-shot with a character of your choice. the final interaction before finishing the game

» you have three options: good end (fluffy, romantic & the like), bad end (angst), or crack end (surprise)

» word count will be super variable, from 300-1.5k words

IV. this forces me to write one-shots, drabbles, anything but hc’s, and also forces me to limit my word count. that said, this will take me a hot minute, y’all. word counts may change too bc i am,,, indecisive n untalented AHAHA

V. search for ‘haikyuu x otome,’ ‘haikyuu x otome special,’ ‘haikyuu x reader otome’ tags! i will tag each work under these c:

got it? have a request for me? send me an ask or submission! 

request example: ‘start new game with akaashi’ or ‘love challenge with yachi in the empty lecture hall at night’ or ‘continue story with noya. words: tired, mangoes, music’ 

feel free to ask me if ur confused about anything and have questions! thank you so much for reading <3 im excited for this heh

inspired by recent haikyuu otome teasers i keep seeing online and the fact that i dropped my summer class and am taking on personal projects (like painting my room LMAO i gotta manifest my inner buff daddee ushi to move shit in my room bc i kid u not everything is rlly heavy in here. and i also delved back into otomes on my phone,, does anyone else play midnight cinderella or mr love LOL talk 2 me)

haikyuu x otome masterlist

[mimsylovesloki]

Episode 4-Play by Play Reactions (Spoilers)

(I accidentally spoiled a major part for myself by browsing tumblr after the episode aired but before I watched it because I’m dumb)

I’m watching this on my TV and not my phone this time so I’m excited

Previously on… the show I’ve been obsessed with months before it released. As if I need reminding lol.

Friggin marvel opening gotta remind me of Tony snapping every episode

Interesting watching this on my flatscreen cuz the show is wide screen

Oh asgard!

Little Sylvie!

Oh my gosh that would be horrifying as a kid… she just got kidnapped pretty much

“Crimes against the sacred timeline” oh for cripes sake she’s just a kid!

Oh my gosh this would be terrifying

Oh is this when Renslayer was still a hunter

Clever girl!!! She escaped before even being sentencing

There’s a lot more to Renslayer I bet

TIME KEEPERS BABY

Space lizards finna meet the business end of a pruner

Mobius yay!!!!! I’ve missed him!

And what’s so bad with different branches?

Oh is that hunter locked up?

Oh nvm

That “how?” from Mobius is the closest thing we will get to hearing him say “wow” in this show and that makes me sad.

Dawn of the Final Day

Aha iconic promo scene!

Serious Loki moment?

“The universe wants to break free so it manifests chaos like me being born the goddess of mischief.”

I don’t believe C-20 is actually dead

Soooo does Loki not still have the tesseract? Or are we gonna get a silly clown Loki moment of “OHHHH I FORGOT I HAD THIS.”

“Do you think what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact that we’re destined to lose?”

“No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don’t die. We survive.”

Please don’t romance them

This is sweet and sad

Don’t kiss please don’t

What set them off? How did they find him?

He really should have an equal amount of security

Mobius shut up.

Bad friend? Oops

Uh oh

TELL HIM THE TRUTH LOKI DO IT

Oh? Asgard?

Uh oh

Lmao

Bully Sif

Ouch

Poor Loki

Ohhhhhh lmao time loop of being beaten up by Sif… ouchie

Cmon Loki fight back.

Or break her mind lol

Loki don’t fall for it— ahhhh ok

Ouchie

Controlling woman huh

Easiest to break huh? Shut up Ravonna

Titans? (Lmao please tell me they arrested a variant Thanos)

Vampires??? Hinting at a Blade reboot????

Hunter B-15 knows something is up

Oh my gosh Loki real moment confessing to Sif “because I’m scared of being alone.”

Genuine or??? Is she gonna throw him? Poor Loki…. “You are alone. And you always will be.”

Mobius you scumbag. That’s literally torture.

Mobius shut up

Mobius shut up. You don’t know the real Loki.

Oh so even they don’t know what caused it

Now Loki is lying just to avoid being hit by Sif

Oh no. He thinks she’s gone. Loki can’t lie very well when he’s sad.

No not swooning… please don’t ship them I beg you.

Not romance please stop no.

MOBIUS SHUT THE HELL UP

Please don’t make it romantic please please please please

SHES NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND PLEASE SHUT UP

YEA LOKI TELL HIM THE TRUTH

Maybe he had a family, a life… maybe… maybe a jetskii?

Mobius shut up.

Shut up about “girlfriend”

Yea Mobius. Let it stew. You’re a liar.

That Hunter B-15 is onto something.. OH YEA SHE WAS ENCHANTED FOR A BRIEF MOMENT TOO

SHE MUST BE REMEMBERING SOMETHING

Theremin. Nice.

Odd music choice for a date I gotta say.

How much older is Owen Wilson than Gugu Mbatha Raw? (Googling) Owen Wilson is 52… Gugu is 38

Mobius is onto something. But I’m still mad at him.

“What we do here matters.” Doubt

Friendzoned

What trophy?

Oh the sword

SNEAKY MOBIUS SWITCHING THE REMOTES NYAHAHAHA

He’s not the best liar tho

For all time. Always. Doubt

She knows he’s lying.

Hunter B-15 interrogating Sylvie at Roxxcart

Yea Sylvie tell her!

FRIENDS? Please?

Oh my gosh poor Hunter B-15…

Hug?

Team up?

Yay???

Damn C-20 really is dead?

Funny with all that technology but that video looks like my old handheld game from like 2010 that I bought from Walmart.

Mobius having an existential crisis. Good.

Please stop hinting at a romance between them…

Friends yay!

Renslayer you scum…

Uh oh

Maybe he had a Jet Skii!

NO

NO

LOKI JUST LOST ANOTHER FRIEND

Renslayer I will revel in your demise

“But she’s just doing her job.” Shut up. She saw what Hunter C-20 said…

Loki is crying again… he just made another friend and he’s gun… HE NEEDS TO COME BACK. If Mobius is gone forever I will never forgive the TVA.

Awww she asked if he’s okay… I’m still praying only friends. Please nothing more.

What was the event? Come on Renslayer. You remember you crap hole.

Oh my. Time keepers??? Aha this IS where the stairs on the wall and a fight breaks out.

Lmao that one time keeper sounds like a dopey dog from a cartoon.

YEA HUNTER B-15 I LOVE YOU

Oh that’s how Loki gets that cut

Now he has a sword babyyyy

Renslayer I hate you

Loki help her!

Oh nvm she’s good

Child of the time keepers?

I KNEW IT

JUST ROBOT PUPPETS!!! ITS ALL A TRICK

So… who’s really in control???

Seeing Loki in this blue light… cmon give me Jötunn Loki.

Where’s hunter b-15?

Don’t confess love pease I beg you

Please please please don’t romance them. For all that is good in this world.

Oh gosh

Hug?

Please just hug

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

WHAT????

PRUNE HER DO IT

Loki?????

What???? NOOOOO

HE CANT BE GONE!!! We still haven’t gotten that scene where he has the flaming sword!!!!!!!! Pruning HAS to not kill them please!!!!!!!!!

Dammit I KNEW something would happen. They had their backs turned to them and it was too quiet.

LOKI BETTER NOT BE GONE I SWEAR TO GOD MY HEART CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH AGGHHHHHHHHH

I’ve seen him die too many damn times agahahshehhdheiebdusienenridiehehejd

And now the credit song has love in it

I really really hope they don’t have some sort of self-cest between Loki and Sylvie…

POST CREDIT SCENE WHAT????

LOKI YES

OH MY GOSH THANK GOD HES ALIVE

Oh

My

Gosh

MY JAW JUST DROPPED

ALL THE OTHER LOKIS

SO WHAT THE HELL DOES PRUNING DO?????

WE GOT KID LOKI, BLACK LOKI, OLD COMIC LOKI, AND EVEN A FRIGGIN CROCODILE LOKI LIKE WHAT???????

And what is black loki (I feel bad for calling him just that but I don’t know his name DX) holding? And what is old comic Loki holding?

What is this place that looks apocalyptic??? Why are they all here?

WHAT IS HAPPENING

THIS IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE YET AGGHHHHHHHHH

SO IS MOBIUS STILL ALIVE THEN????

IS EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN PRUNED STILL ALIVE?

Is each pruned person sent to a place with all the other variants of themselves???

I HAVE TOO MANY QUESTIONS

NO WONDER TOM HIDDLESTON SAID POOR LOKI IN THESE EPISODES

My biggest concerns now are: how on earth are they going to wrap this up in only two more episodes? And PLEASE DONT ROMANCE SYLVIE AND LOKI!!! I mean, I get it… if Loki should fall in love who better than his parallel. She’s different enough from him to have it not be too weird I guess, but it’s still a variant version of him. And it seems a little too forced. Like sure a crush maybe, but don’t you dare say love when they’ve only known each other for like a couple days.

My mind is melting. I’m so glad I waited to watch this in the morning instead of at night so I could appreciate it in all its glory.

BUT NOW I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER WEEK AGGHHHHHHH

Oh and is Hunter B-15 okay? We saw her get knocked down but that was it. She didn’t appear in the rest of the fight.

AND WHO MADE THE TIME KEEPERS????

IS IT KANG? IS IT…… MEPHISTO??? WHOOOOOOOOOOOO?????

Gonna go browse tumblr to cry and reblog gifs from the episode to help me cope until next week.

[leo-culture-technology]

I don't really have anything specific in mind, I'm actually kinda lost as to what to look for jkjsksjk I know I identify with some traits, like sensory issues and difficulty communicating (I do have a diagnosis of social phobia, though I've been thinking maybe autism would better explain other aspects of my life beyond social interaction). I've been reading some articles regarding late discovering of autism and mostly looking for experiences, so I can compare to my own. I feel like I should be looking for something else but I don't really know what? lmao I don't think that was really helpful, anything you can share would be good to me

This is a really long post so I'm going to put it under a read more to not clog up other people's feeds but I think the main areas to cover are:

- verbal communication issues

was your vocabulary/reading ever under/over developed as a child? Having a really advanced vocabulary is just as much a sign of autism as having delayed development in this area. Also, having a very hard to pin down accent, or taking on others' accents Really easily is common amongst autistic people. Do you ever have trouble speaking? I experience selective mutism and when I'm overwhelmed/stressed/upset I often find it hard to speak out loud and have to communicate through messages/notes, though when I'm not mute I'm very eloquent and have always had a vocabulary that was advanced, other kids found it hard to talk to me when I was younger bc they couldn't understand me, but equally comprehension/vocabulary can be delayed/compromised and you might find it hard to understand others because you struggle with that sort of thing yourself. Do you have issues with your tone of voice ever? I find that I can't read my own tone of voice or my volume, some things will come out really bitchy-sounding or angry-sounding and I won't be able to tell, or I might be shouting and not know it because it all sounds the same in my head really.

- sensory issues

do you have issues with certain types of sound? volume? quantity? volume doesn't bother me, but too many different sources of noise will send me into a meltdown so fast. Do you struggle with certain smells, bright lights, tastes, textures of food or of clothing, certain sensations, for example I get really stressed out by having wet skin/hair, and I can't stand the sound/feeling of something rubbing over carpet. I also find some tastes to be overwhelming. Under-sensitivity or processing issues can also be a symptom. Do you ever struggle to process reading/listening to something? I have absolutely awful retention for auditory information, I can't hold more than around 4-5 words in my mind at any one time, and I can't follow auditory instructions at all if there's more than one step, it needs to be written down. I also often struggle to read things because I don't process the words and they just look like meaningless letters on a page to me. I also really struggle to process my own thoughts and order them, I'm able to talk out loud but there are times where I can't write my thoughts without speaking them first because ordering my thoughts while they're still inside my head is very difficult. I also have an under-sensitive sense of smell and taste at times. I can't even smell when meat has gone bad and everyone else I know says it really stinks, and like I can't tell the difference between chicken gravy and onion gravy, for example, because they taste almost identical to me. And senses aren't just the basic five, either. Do you have a particularly high OR low pain threshold? interoception is the perception of bodily functions. Do you have trouble identifying/noticing when you're hungry/thirsty or when you need to go to the toilet e.g. you didn't need to go pee a minute ago but now you're Suddenly absolutely bursting to go because you didn't notice it earlier at all. Proprioception is your perception of your movements, balance and of where your limbs are in relation to your surroundings. Do you bump into things or fall over seemingly nothing a lot? Have you ever been told/noticed you move "strangely"? Do you ever walk sort of on your tiptoes or toes-first rather than heels-first?

- social issues

do you have trouble reading body language? facial expressions? figurative language? tone of voice? not every autistic person will experience all of the above, I know people who can't read body language but can read tone of voice, or can't read figurative language but can read facial expressions, etc. etc. Personally I struggle with tone of voice a lot, I can't tell when people are being serious or not, or whether they're upset or not, tone of voice doesn't really tell me anything about how they're feeling of what they mean. Figurative language varies, I understand metaphors and I often understand sarcasm, although I won't get it if it's too deadpan, and I sometimes miss hyperbole and think people are being serious. I also can't tell whether people are teasing me or genuinely being mean the vast majority of the time. I tend to rely on speech patterns and word choice a lot to understand people, personally. I pick up on what sorts of words they use in what moods and use that largely to inform my interpretations of their current mood based on the words they're choosing. Do you ever struggle understanding what is/isn't socially appropriate? I overshare a lot bc I don't rlly understand what is "too much information" and what isn't, and I also don't understand really how to treat people differently based on their "social role", like I treat someone like a friend regardless of whether they're a stranger, a classmate, a friend, a family member, a colleague, a boss, a teacher, etc.

- need for routine/dislike of sudden/significant change

this isn't always as clear as like needing an entire day to be a routine, it can be little things. I'll give some examples: I have to brush my teeth in a specific way - I count the number of passes of the brush over each section of my teeth, I have to eat a sandwich in a specific order of bites, many food places I will order the same thing every/nearly every time and I will eat that order in the same way, I wash my body/hair in a certain way/order in the shower every time, sometimes I get weirdly obsessed with symmetry and I have to walk in a certain way and if I step "wrong" I have to hop around on one leg until I feel "balanced" again, I have to do my daily tasks on genshin impact in a certain order, etc. etc. I could probably think of more if I tried. I will often get distressed/overwhelmed/upset if any of these "routines" are disrupted somehow. My original method of eating a sandwich applied to when they're cut across into rectangles, so I used to hate eating triangle sandwiches because I couldn't eat them "correctly" until I figured out a similar way to eat triangle sandwiches, and now I Have to eat them in that way because it's "correct" and I'll feel uncomfortable otherwise. Note that this isn't like OCD because it's not anxiety-based, it's based on the fact that it feels like the "correct" way to do it, and that any other way is simply "wrong" and you don't like doing it "wrong". The need for routine and dislike of change might also manifest in needing to plan things ahead days in advance, you also might be like me and be very capable of impulsively doing things like going out if You decide to do it, but if someone Else suggests it, then you need the preparation time. - stimming/special interests

stimming can be honestly anything. I tap my foot, I sing, I have a whole folder names "stim games" on my phone, I type, I eat, I chew gum, I flap my arms, I scratch fabrics, I smell blankets/clothing. Stimming just means self-stimulation and is absolutely any repeated action that you find soothing/cathartic in any way. Under here I'm also going to mention samefoods: foods that you feel comfortable eating even when you don't feel comfortable eating anything else. Like if too much flavour/smell/texture feels overwhelming, most autistic people will have food/s that aren't at all stressful to eat and they can default to at those times. Mine is a specific brand of chicken nuggets, I'll often fall back on those when eating anything else feels overwhelming but I need to eat Something, and I can usually handle those when I can't handle other things.

as for special interests, they are anything that you're kind of obsessed with. You can have multiple, they can change over your life, but your interest tends to go much deeper than that of a neurotypical person's and you feel a need to know everything about it and struggle to hold conversations about other topics because it kind of just takes over your brain. when I was younger some of my special interests were final fantasy, anime, hello kitty, languages/linguistics has always been a special interest of mine, kpop is definitely one, astrology is also for sure one. I fall in and out of being obsessed enough with genshin to call it a special interest. I had a friend in highschool whose special interest was the periodic table, for a while they were obsessed with the 8 times table, and then it became dinosaurs. My little brother is autistic and his special interest has always been video games, he's really interested in retro games, he loves Minecraft and Mario too, when he was younger it was ben 10 for a while, there was also a period where all he wanted to do as a kid was rewatch the cars movies. Media likes to portray special interests as being academic but they can truly be absolutely anything. A desire to know absolutely everything about trains or flowers or kpop is just as much a special interest as neurology or maths or physics or smth like that.

Another thing I've just thought of to be noted, is hygiene:

some autistic people might appear to have borderline OCD tendencies where they can't handle dirt/mess and need everything to be tidy/clean all the time. This is definitely one of the stereotypes. But struggling with hygiene is just as much a symptom of autism. If you struggle to remember to shower/wash hands/brush teeth/do laundry/etc. that could well be an autism symptom. I found out I'm sensitive to mint and especially to toothpaste, it makes my mouth feel like it's burning and like I'll actually cry if it touches my tongue bc it hurts that much lmao. I discovered a toothpaste that's unflavoured and doesn't foam up and now I can brush my teeth without pain but for a long time I struggled with consistently brushing teeth bc of that. I also struggle with showering bc of being stressed out by wet hair/skin. Sometimes it's also a memory thing, and I forget to do these things. I also absolutely suck at keeping my room clean, idk why I just Really Can't lmaoooooo

I'm certain there are things I haven't covered, these are mostly pulling from my own experiences of autism from myself and those around me. All of this might apply to you, it might not, but I hope it makes sense and has given you a good starting point of things to examine within yourself and questions to ask yourself <3 I wish you well bub and please always feel free to ask more questions and/or talk to me more about your experiences <3

[unproduciblesmackdown]

is winston's phone case based on an actual existing phone case, and if so may we See It in full 👀

oh great question and appreciate any snart sninquiries lol but boring answer: no it is not based on any real phone case!! i Ought to be looking things up for inspiration / reference, b/c that’s just helpful for anyone i think, and especially b/c i have no Ideas myself when it comes to this sort of thing, but i’m allergic to doing this smh which is just an L for me, like, i should be doing that for my own sake at least. but even when it’s like “i have a picture that could be a relevant point of reference already saved, i only have to open Files Explorer and search for it” i drag my feet on that, if i’m searching from scratch i might avoid it so hard it doesn’t happen at all, smh

for example my process here was going “okay what color should his phone be. should i add another Grey Thing when his tee & calculator watch are already That” (i think this would’ve been a reasonable choice still) & then i’m like “ugh god what colors even are there” & of course i start messing around with some Blues, which, naturally, i chose to avoid using as much of in this drawing than i maybe otherwise would’ve lol, and the decision to give him any Phone Decor was somewhat spontaneous & hardly a very Serious choice, i am not like yes my hc is definitely that winston would have an aesthetically personalized phone, but since i Am going with that, it’s like, well we can infer he likes Space, so here we go with a moon and planet and stuff like that maybe.....then i had the baja brain blast about any like “give me space” joke variation for when you like space, Outer and possibly also Personal. despite the lack of Real Design Existing, this one is still basically what i was thinking of, the readable text with some sort of stylized / geometric Space Objects scattered around

like again i Ought to be looking stuff up and/or like, saving references/inspiration type pics for future occasions, because i am also always having the experience like, oh once again there’s an opportunity to draw winston wearing a tee with a design, but i can’t actually think of anything lmao, and yknow in all of this it doesn’t help that we’ve still only seen So Many tees ft. designs or other manifestations of his personal choices / preferences, like oh okay great he seems to like to keep his desk clear in contrast with his [immediate personalizing of desk space] new deskmate, unless he’s going ham on a project for days at a time possibly in which case he might have drinks / food around, hard to extrapolate like “what aesthetic choices might he make in a totally personal space / context” lol. but yeah in this case it was like, well, it’s a go-to that he likes Outer Space, why not add the “and back off too XD” element for kicks lol

[theartoflivingalways]

randonauting experience: manifesting my cousin’s future, a drug addict

I’ve been dying to write out the experience I had using the Randonautica app a couple weeks ago, so I’m really happy I decided to get back on tumblr last night and being able to finally do this!!! (Even if no one reads it, it’s ok). If you don’t know what Randonautica or randonauting is, please look it up. There’s also tons of TikTok videos that explain it well. I literally can’t explain this app or how it works because It’s crazy. Unbelievable.

So before I get into the details, here’s some context: My older cousin & I have been more like sisters my entire life. She is currently struggling with addiction to meth, and it has left me literally heartbroken. It completely ruined her life, our relationship, and her relationships with friends and our family. Every single day, I worry that she will die. And i don’t know if I can handle a death quite that significant to me, especially at this point in time in my life. Despite how close we were and always had been, my cousin has a very toxic relationship with my sibling. which, of course, has caused problems in our family, between the two of them and also between my sibling and I. Anyway. This isn’t even the actual experience i had, but one Saturday night, we couldn’t find my cousin anywhere. We were all extremely worried. We didn’t know where she was, who she was with, and she was not responding to anyone’s calls/texts. It was getting pretty late so we were on edge - my sibling included. I was sitting home alone when I stumbled onto a Reddit thread about some app called “Randonautica”. I didn’t really understand what it was or what “manifesting” meant, but I was INTRIGUED by the experiences other people had using this app that I was reading. I didn’t think that it was even real. I thought it was some type of troll shit. So anyway, jokingly, i said to my sibling: “I’m going to go on this app I heard about and think about finding her”. I really didn’t expect anything much, all you do - literally - is think, pretty much, of something (or someone?) that you’d like to “manifest”. So out of curiosity, I tried it out, repeatedly thinking to myself, “find *her*” (of course using my cousin’s name). After a couple seconds it gave me 2 locations (which, by the way, I didn’t go to this night). The first one was just some house on the outskirts of where I live, and nothing stood out to me or seemed too unusual, as far as i could tell looking at it from street view on google maps. When I opened the second location, though, I literally dropped my phone and instantly started crying and freaking out. I had goosebumps all over my body. The second location it had sent me was a specific house on a specific street where I live, specifically known as a particular house where molly & meth dealers and addicts live / party / etc. we have had to go get my cousin, along with her sister, at this house SEVERAL times before. At this point, I knew that this app was bizarre, but very fucking real, because that shit was unexplainable. I decided to revisit the first location it sent me and realized something I hadn’t before. There was a car in the driveway (from Google map images). It was the SAME EXACT CAR that my cousin drives. Same fucking car. Like how.... what???? So at this point, I’m calling my sibling, freaking out, completely psyched out. Naturally, my sibling said, “well clearly we have to go randonauting tomorrow and see what happens”. Obviously I agreed because that shit was wild and I had to go see it for myself.

The next day around 5PM, we decided to go randonauting. It was a Sunday and it was really nice out; sunny all day, no clouds, warm, perfect. my sibling and I decided to manifest “our cousin’s future”, using her name of course, and got one location about 5 minutes from where we live.

Okay, so, my cousin is very, very sick with this disease of addiction, right - like people are dying everyday from drugs.... yet we decide to manifest her future. Mind you, another important thing i should probably mention is that my sibling and I are POLAR opposites, which makes sense when thinking about how close I am with my cousin and their damaged relationship.

On our way to the location, one of the first things we saw was an ambulance with it’s lights on at a house nearby. Nothing *too* strange or out of the ordinary, but we definitely noted it as a possible sign. Shortly after, we saw a black dog being walked on the sidewalk. I’m trying to get to the point so I’m not going to explain the significance in detail of the black / white dogs while randonauting, but to sum it up, there’s a belief that if you see a black dog while doing it, it’s supposed to signify “danger”, while a white dog signifies “protection”. there’s much more to that but like I said feel free to look that up for yourself. So anyway, we took that as another possible sign.

About 2 minutes later we arrived at our location. It was behind a transportation company that neither of us have ever really seemed to notice or heard of, yet we’ve lived in this town our entire lives and it was barely 5 minutes from where we live. It was a Sunday so it was closed and no one was around, but the whole entire property felt just.. odd, can’t really explain it. Behind it was tons of tractor trailers, tons of pavement, and woods. The exact location on the app sent us way back behind a huge mound of what I think might’ve been gravel or something. We drove up and around this strange little mountain to the coordinates, since the mound was obscuring our view of where we were going. It brought us behind the mound, right to the edge of the woods. The area was littered, but nothing stood out as strange or anything before we got out of the car.

When she pulled into the area we were going to walk around in, I immediately started feeling weird. I still can’t explain it, I just felt funny right away. My sibling, however, did not at all and told me it was just in my head because I was supposedly expecting some crazy shit to happen. So I agreed and thought maybe she was right and my anxiety was just fucking with me.

Lmao but nooo this was very very weird. The minute I stepped out of the car, the first thing I noticed was the air. It was a beautiful day and we were surrounded by trees, but for some reason, I felt like there was barely any oxygen around us. The air felt thick, dense, heavy- I can’t think of a better way to describe it. The second thing I noticed was that I immediately had a huge pit in my stomach, and my heart started racing. My body was literally preparing itself for fight or flight, and that’s when I started having an eerie feeling that we either weren’t alone, or that someone was watching us.

I tried to brush it off because my sibling was having a totally different experience, completely fine, not thinking anything of anything. Their vibe calmed me a little so I started walking with them towards the coordinates, which were only about 20 feet from where we parked. As I started walking, I felt even fucking stranger. Not scared or anxious, but almost as if I was high or on a trip. I cannot explain it, but the only way I can try to is by saying I felt like I was dreaming, like I wasn’t really there, or that the energy was trying to make me leave. It was fucking weird man.

So then i started telling my sibling I don’t feel right and that we should go, and my sibling was completely confused because she did not sense any bad energy or bad vibes at all. She was completely fine which confused the hell out of me because something was fucking very off with this place.

A minute later she pointed out something to me on the ground and we both just kind of stopped and looked at it, mesmerized. It was this shallow indent in the dirt and grass, surrounded by dead grass and flowers. However, this particular area was completely filled with beautiful, very alive yellow flowers. Oh yeah, this area also looked like a very shallow grave by the way, and had an eerie similarity in size to my cousin- width, length, alll of it.

Another very strange thing that was happening during all of this was that my sibling kept saying that “we should go over there, to the left”, which freaked me out because something was telling me to go over to the right, like we were being pulled in opposite directions. IN ADDITION, my sibling kept hearing odd noises that I literally did not hear... even when we’d stop and be silent so that I could hear as well. My sibling would go, “See!!! Didn’t you hear that??!” But I had no idea what they were referring to, at all, yet we were standing right next to each other.

After being in the area for about 10 minutes, I started feeling really anxious again, like we were not alone at all. And we were completely vulnerable, no one was around. So I began feeling panicky and told my sibling that it’s time to go because shit did not feel right. We got into the car, and for the first time, we noticed that the entire area was dark and gloomy, but it wasn’t like it was a shaded area and it was really sunny out. The MINUTE we started to reverse, the sun started shining immediately on the area again, almost as if it went away just because we were there. Idk. Spooky

So we’re starting to drive away and go home, when all of a sudden my sister stops her car randomly, about halfway out of the lot. As if it was an automatic response, like we were the same person or on the save wave length or some shit, we both turned and looked to the right. Standing there by itself was a deer, probably one of the prettiest either of us have ever seen- I kept describing it as “Bambi” because of how perfect it appeared. We both just looked at it, and it was staring back at us, mesmerized. Then my sibling said give us a sign that you’re our uncle or cousin (two relatives that have passed). We both kind of laughed because we were over the whole thing at this point, but then, this deer stopped looking back at us, turned it’s head, and began walking away extremely gracefully into a small area of brush that it was standing besides.

As I watched this deer walk into the small area of brush (idk how else to describe it, but it was a very small patch of bushes and weeds and grass, not thick and not tall, separated by two large lots), I immediately thought that it looked like this deer had just walked through a fucking door. Or a fucking portal or something man I don’t even know. I can’t explain it, I just knew it was gone.

My sibling was like ok, relax, it’s just laying down or something, it’s definitely there. I knew immediately that that wasn’t fucking true, I saw it leave us and I knew it right away. To prove my point, we went to the side of the brush where the deer would’ve walked out of on the other side to try and look for it. As i said, this area of brush was NOT dense. It wasn’t high, it wasn’t bushy, you could clearly see through it and could also see very easily if a huge fucking deer was laying in it or sitting down.

My sibling is a HUGE animal lover so she fought my theory on this, saying deer are very good at hiding, irs definitely in there or it somehow beat us and made its way through and ran off. I thought she could be right, until I noticed a very old metal fence running straight through the middle of the brush, perfectly dividing it into two. There was also a bunch of old shit stacked up oddly and laying around, so that deer would’ve had a very difficult time getting through the brush to the other side, fence or no fence. When I pointed out the fence, my sibling just looked at me, and I knew by the look on their face that they knew this deer just fucking vanished too.

But because we both are extreme realists and very logical people, my sibling insisted on getting out and investigating it themselves. She walked back around to where we first saw the deer, walked all over, looked through some of the tall grass. Nothing. When my sibling got into the car saying no deer, they also pointed out that there was a dip in the ground walking into the brush from where the deer was standing. We both sat there silently for a minute trying to process that because we both saw this deer walk STRAIGHT AHEAD on FLAT GROUND. Even if this deer did escape us *somehow*, how the fuck do you explain it defying gravity? Walking on air? Walking on flat ground when it was curved downwards???? Like what

At this point, we’re both shook as hell and ready to leave and never look back (didn’t last long, we went randonauting later that same night and had an even crazier experience). But then my sibling asked me about the way the deer looked. They asked me to describe it. I was like... why? We both saw the same one? And my sibling said, “I know but, don’t you think it looked different from the deer around here?” So i thought about it and said idk yeah maybe I guess but what the fuck do I know about deer species I mean come on

Stuck on this, my sibling kept talking about the deer’s spots and ears and black stripe on its tail going on and on about it. So I said idk just look it up then? SO WE DID. AND GUESS WHAT. we pulled up a pic of the kind of deer we had just saw. Definitely different from the deer we normally see.

But that’s not even the thing, no, because the thing is.... the deer we saw, it’s species or whatever the fuck, ARE NOT NATIVE to where we live. Not even native to our state, to the east coast, no where nearby. In fact, I believe it said these kind of deer only live in Alaska, Washington, and maybe some other states on the upper west coast. PLEASE EXPLAIN THAT.