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dyketubbo · 3 years

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when you get a chance, thoughts on seer of space tubbo?

(i am also open to maid of space tubbo, and many others, but i am currently seer leaning)

*wakes up* oh boy time to classpect! under the readmore because seers are interesting enough that i ended up going on a tangent

of course no argument about the aspect because hes 100% a space player, ive discussed heir before i believe, so seer analysis it is, because i havent thought about it before (seers slip my mind sometimes, i love them, my brain is just the equivalent of a ground with a bunch of banana peels and cant handle having more than 4 coherent thoughts at a time).

like said with knights, he doesnt exactly try to tell anyone what he wants to come off as, sure he wants to be intimidating enough that people leave him alone, but, well. he does fit the intimidating thing, its less a facade and more a warning, he doesnt want to hurt anyone, but he will should he deem it necessary (thankfully, tubbos kind enough that he deems it unecessary in most cases). hes a bit too likely to follow through, and its bred from feeling unsafe, rather than feeling insecure. c!tubbo knows he can do things, the cc is more likely to downplay what he does than the character is (not that c!tubbo doesnt, but he does still believe in his abilities, he just doesnt think hes important enough to emphasize his impact. difference between going "oh no it was all __" and going "oh no it wasnt just me" when theres something hes done most of the work on)

so, he almost fits knight, at least in abilities, after all knights are capable and they know theyre capable, and hes very good at the exploitation aspect, pushing limitations and using them for their benefits. i could see him as maybe a knight thats actually gotten past the insecurity and facades already, if we're to consider his spy history as him being pre-actualization. being a space player doesnt really change how solid knight arcs are, so the combination of knight and space doesnt make knight much more fitting for tubbo

similarly, he does fit a few aspects of being a seer (having similar struggles, talking a shitton sometimes, sitting back and observing the world around him when he finds it beneficial to do so, generally very smart especially within their group), but not so much others (seers are often overbearingly smug in a way tubbos a bit too humble for, learning through education rather than experience, having a habit of getting too focused on their goal, and theyre overall passive, being too active is actually how they get themselves into shit, while tubbo gets hurt when hes too passive). seers of space focus more on the present than the future or past, which almost fits tubbo.. if it werent for the fact that he doesnt focus on the future or past out of repression cknsks. not that he would much anyways, but the intentional focus on the present is out of stubborness and trauma rather an actual trait of staying in the present. notably, theres quite a few times where tubbo does think about the past and future, especially when he was younger, and he does try to work towards his ideal future, he just doesnt talk about it much.

funnily enough, because of where seer falls through, he ends up being closer to the mage struggle of, well, getting their asses kicked when theyre too passive because things work out best when theyre involving themselves. mages also have that posturing thing as well, though its connected to intelligence (desperately trying to come off as smarter because they believe theyre still too dumb and naïve, even though theyre actually doing fine), so again, not exactly tubbos kind of posturing. plus, hes pissy, but not pissy enough for a mage, as theyre more likely to get caught up in how fed up they are with everything, while tubbo gets caught up in how much he still cares no matter how much he seems like he doesnt. the space aspect adds that theres.. a shitton of shit happening to and around him, which does fit, at least, and mages of space usually suffer because of their passions, knowledge, and experience, as well as they're rather hands on. again, fits, but, well.

seers and mages are a bit too focused on knowledge for the kind of person tubbo is. hes smart for sure, has a lot of knowledge, and even when hes not a spy he does want to know things and looks for that knowledge, but while he fits the goals and positives of seers (and mages), he doesnt exactly fit their flaws or what happens when theyre unhealthy. not that he needs to show signs of being unhealthy, but even healthy players still show an ability to be the unhealthy versions of their classes. he doesnt get his ass kicked for being too active and tunnel visioned like seers do (and it can sometimes come from ego trips, which tubbos very unlikely to have, even if he fits the "my solution is the most correct here, so we have to follow it" part of it all) like seers, he doesnt have any moments of just refusing to learn and complaining about how everything sucks rather than doing anything about it (nor is he likely too) like mages. he does vaguely fit where the unhealthiness of a knight can come in, propping up a shield to a ridiculous extent and lashing out when their insecurites are picked at, but that feels a bit too reckless to be tubbo (though it does fit tommy).

overall, i can kind of see seer for a slightly different version of tubbo, but it feels too passive for tubbo, if that makes sense. he is passive at least, in terms of classes anyways (note- despite how some classpectors define it, passive doesnt really mean you serve others, its not an insult, it just means you weave your aspect through others, rather than yourself. its the difference between a prince destroying x/destroying through x and a bard allowing destruction of x/inviting destruction through x. still listen to passive classes, thats what seers fall into after all, and seers are very important). its just that tubbo usually gets hurt by being too passive rather than getting hurt by being too active (not that it couldnt happen, which is why i say it could still fit under other circumstances).

speaking of passive v active, if i had to pick a passive class i feel fits tubbo the most, probably heir. active wise, id say maid does actually fit rather well. i feel like ive talked about maid tubbo before but i might be remembering a different analysis so just in case ill generally say i feel he fits the arc of going from a "doormat" to taking their life for themselves. theyre stubborn, stressed out from listening to others, like banter, occassionally silly and can start arguing in circles due to the stubborness (think that one patrick id scene, but smarter). maids are also heavy repressers, they fear being seen as weak, and are unwilling to ask for help. they rely on their environment and hate it.

and, painfully enough, some classpectors state that when pushed into being unhealthy, maids explode. maids are already intimidating on their own, being powerful and smart enough to know what to do with that power, and when they get stressed out enough, they, well, explode. they hurt everyone in one big event (think aradias actions in make her pay). its not necessarily a reckless lashing out at everyone like knights, but a giant burnout that happens to effect everyone. tubbos not at a point where it seems likely for this to happen, but i wouldnt be too surprised if something like it did happen were things to get too be too much. he is the mf with nukes after all. healthy maids are independent, with maids of space specifically, well, making space for themselves and others (sound like a certain snow commune anyone), attempting to start new lives. an independent maid, allowed to be their own person without anyone stepping on them, is a healthy maid. unfortunate for tubbo that his life fucking sucks too hard for him to really get to this point KEKW

heirs fit a similar "followed others then became more independent" arc, mostly unaware that theyre being lead around but, if whats happening aligns with their own ideals, dont really care much that theyre being a follower when they are aware of such. heirs have an instinct to stick to comfort, rather than an instinct to be independent like maids. heirs still need to find their independence and autonomy, but need to do so because they can change things, theyre also very powerful when they play correctly. however, going against what they may feel is best and is more comfortable for them can be actively painful, early heirs often would rather be comfortable and happy even if things arent going well than take the difficult route, know that theyll suffer, and temporarily risk comfort and happiness in an attempt to reach an end they dont know will be there for sure. they can deal with suffering, but choosing to stay constantly aware of this suffering hurts and they struggle with dealing with the fact that they need to be aware to stop the suffering.

heirs change by picking up on subtle details naturally, subconsciously effecting those around them, making either themself or others interact with their aspect differently (or actively not think with their own aspect, in a positive way). heirs, when self aware, want to help. thats an important detail, and its why heirs are often protagonists, they dont have the ambition to do things that only benefit themselves when they realize theyre in a position of power. at their core, heirs usually want to make things better, but learning to move on and better themselves can hurt, and it takes a lot for heirs to to let it be apart of the process.

unhealthy heirs fade. they get so stressed out by getting hurt that they shrink back into themselves, they stick with what makes them comfortable and refuse to acknowledge that they and others are hurting, wrapped up in their more selfish instincts and becoming hard and stressful to deal with. "i want everything to be okay" becomes "i dont want to deal with the idea that nothings okay right now", soon getting to "im okay and you cant tell me otherwise, fuck you if you want to take this away from me, you cant stop me but i will stop you". of course, that last one can be useful if a heir were to use it to change things for the better, but the tunnel vision on "i want to be comfortable even if im making others uncomfortable" is, well. shitty. unhealthy heirs wont actively try to hurt anyone unless pushed, but they can they can still manage to through a lack of acknowledging that they have to help. and well, that sounds somewhat like tubbo, the hurting through a lack of helping, at the very least its present in things like him not visiting tommy during exile (partially because it was safer to just not challenge dream, partially out of guilt and belief that tommy hated him)

heirs of space specifically are about flitting from project to project, learning about what interests them, impatient when others dont share their excitement, and learning when to adapt and move on from things. generally, if i had to put a scale on it, id say tubbos most likely to be a heir, then a maid, then a seer. it all depends on what aspects of him you wanna focus on, really. seer tubbo is really interesting though! i think seers are more smug than he is though, not that he doesnt have his moments, but his tendency to believe hes right isnt all too prominent compared to other traits of his, and its less from a smug "i know whats right" and more just a firm "this isnt right, i have a better idea". he wants to do whats right, but if he feels like he doesnt know whats right, hes willing to rely on others, it just.. takes him a bit of pushing to admit such

#i took like 5 hours on this hope you appreciate it max /lh #i enjoy classpecting though and i enjoy tubbo even more so its alright #dsmp #tubbo #dsmp classpects #hs #angel answers #long post #(iirc about 14 or 16 paragraphs maybe?#*)

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koko-bopp · 4 years

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Popular

na jaemin x male!reader

word count – 1K

genre – FLUFF, University!au

warning(s) – N/A

synopsis – You're really popular at the University you're attending, especially among the girls, you're basically a dream-boy for some. Na Jaemin also has a little crush on you that he's been pretty good at hiding.

"Guys," Jaemin pouted, "You don't get it, he's so gorgous."

All his friends unanimously groaned. Of course it would've been a bad idea to come to the football field to study, and of course there'd be some kind of underlying intention to why Jaemin wanted to study at the football field. Jeno, Renjun, Haechan and Jaemin were on the bleachers with their textbooks out preparing for the rumoured assesment that the professor is going to give.

"But noooooo," Renjun mocked, pointing at Jaemin, "This one wanted to see [Y/N]."

Jaemin had to stop himself from going red, he's not really one to get shy, especially over a boy, but things happen, and frankly, he doesn't regret taking time out of his day just to see you on the football field.

Haechan hit Renjun over the head with a notebook, glaring at him, "We were there for you when you pulled U-turns for that one guy, let Jaemin have this," he explained, before putting the book down.

Renjun grumbled, rubbing his head from the impact before fixing his posture and looking back down at his notes.

Jaemin wasn't even listening to his friends, honestly, you're just so damn distracting. But in a good way. He really hopes this isn't creepy, though; it's just a small crush on an extremely good looking fellow, yeah? At least he wasn't going to start pulling U-turns just to look at you; watching from the bleachers is good enough.

"Are you gonna talk to him?" asks Jeno

He asked you for a pencil once, surely that was enough interaction, but he really does want to talk to you, he just doesn't have the confidence to make a move. You're just really attractive and really kind so he'd understand why you might not have even noticed him before. Oof, but what he'd do to hold your hand.

Jaemin looked over at his friend, fiddling with a pencil as he spoke, "I- I don't know, maybe, he just.. makes me a bit nervous, I'll probably wait until he isn't out in the open."

"I mean, he's only with one of his friends, it wouldn't be too hard to talk to him."

Haechan added, "Yeah, but he's also on the other side of the football field, he'd probably watch Jae run to him for a bit before they chat."

"Guys!" Jaemin interrupted, an unsure chuckle leaving his lips as he placed his hands up to halt his friends, "Guys, calm down. I don't even know if he's into dudes, this thing will probably go away or something."

Renjun rolled his eyes, "Can we be honest, is anyone on the football team straight? I heard Taeyong's going out with that guy from dance club."

Haechan gasped, "No way, are you talking about Ten?"

"Yeah, I know right, guess who's topping."

Jaemin had stopped listening halfway through the conversation. A small pout formed on his face as he noticed the small group of girls approaching you.

They're all very pretty, and all of them looked different in terms hairstyle and fashion taste, one of them were bound to be your type. He wouldn't be surprised if one of them got your number or scored a date, they're all going so well in the looks department. You looked happy to talk to them too, maybe the one in the centre was your girlfriend and he doesn't even know. Wait no, she's with Jongdae, he remembered, letting out a sigh of relief.

Jaemin stared for a little longer, little signs of disappointed becoming for evident on his expression. Wow, he he really understood how that guy you were throwing the football to felt; poor guy's just pretending to examine the laces of the tool while you talked to the girls.

His thoughts were interrupted by Jeno hitting Haechan to get his attention, "Yo, but isn't Yuta trying to get with Mark–"

"Oh my god, shut the fuck up," Haechan snapped, preparing to hit Jeno with a notebook, "We have things to prepare for and y'all have nothing better to do then be single!"

Jaemin couldn't help but laugh at that, his eyes smiling with his cheeks as laughter erupted from his belly. He caught himself quickly, it was only a small joke but it was a pretty good one.

"Don't look now," Jeno whispered over to Jaemin, "But [Y/N] is looking at you."

Jaemin blinked, and looked over as soon as Jeno had warned him. How do you not see if thats true, it's freaking [Y/N] looking at him.

You had a small grin on your face, and before he knew it you too where making eye contact.

Jaemin had no idea how to react, you were literally ignoring the girl in front of you to look over at him, but your friend seemed to be talking to them instead so maybe it wasn't all that bad.

He didn't know what else to do, so he waved shyly, giving you a smile.

Oh my god, you winked at him.

Oh my god. You winked at him.

You winked at him with a toothy grin and your hands on your hips like you owned the damn field and frankly, Jaemin wanted to just run over there and get your number, he's very sure that he isn't imagining all this.

Just seemed too fake not to be real.

And to think, Jaemin got the attention of Mr. Popular.

#helloooo #this is my re-debut ><#na jaemin #na jaemin x male reader #jaemin x male reader #x male reader #male reader #nct x male reader #nct x reader #jaemin x reader #na jaemin x reader #jaemin nct #nct jaemin #nct male reader #nct fluff #nct dream #nct dream jaemin #nct dream x male reader #nct dream x reader

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whaleofatjme1920 · 3 years

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hi! i havent like... seen anything about matchups being closed or open or whatever so honest to god just do this whenever you feel up to it, theres no rush at all!!

i am 18, i use it/he pronouns (im AFAB), and im gay! im looking for a romantic matchup?

im about 5'9, i have curly shoulder length blonde hair (although the colour changes a LOT, im always dying it) and blue eyes! i have a couple of piercings in my nose and ears, and im very pale with pretty big dark circles, think like... a chronically exhausted raccoon. im a little chubby and curvy, and my posture is awful

i have a very light dash of freckles and an uneven smile, and my laugh has been described as "if you were to type ahahaha", i assume they mean i pronounce it really specifically but i dont know!

my sun sign is gemini, my moon is taurus and my rising is aries. i can be either very tired and reserved, or erratic and hyper depending on how im feeling. i have ADHD which leaves me very scatterbrained, and i cant always hold a train of thought of a conversation very well. my love language is gift giving and physical contact, and i love love LOVE horror movies and games, the gorier the better!

i have times where i like to be either along, or with someone but in relative quiet, because sometimes the world is a bitch and i dont wanna deal with it!!

i also try to be as caring as possible, although i have to admit i can come off as really blunt sometimes, but i do really care and try to be there for people as much as possible! im kinda like a dad friend and im fiercely overprotective of my loved ones. i also suffer from anxiety and paranoia, which does interfere with my relationships in negative ways, but i always listen to the other person and try to work out any problems with them

my style is kinda like a mix between grunge, and the skatig/stoner scene. a lot of baggy shirts and jeans + layers, although i hate makeup and hats with a passion. i love accessories too: necklaces and bracelets and bangles and earrings!

i love heavy metal, but i also love other genres of music like indie, and bedroom pop and 80s music! basically: if i hear a somg i like no matter what genre ill listen to it :D

i love horror, but i also love comedies and chick flicks way too much! my rom is full of posters and candles and incense holders. i also smoke, which isnt something im overly proud of but its a part of my life

in an NSFW sense, im a verse switch, i can do anything! i like a lot of kinks, like praise + degradation, bondage, weapons, itd honestly be easier to say what im not into (bodily fluids + general grossness really. im open to try absolutely anything) as long as i know what im getting into and have time to do a lot of research!

thats pretty much it for me lol, tale as much time as u need obviously and im sososo sorry if ur matchups r closed !!

Your matchup is… Laughing Jack!

Read more because of NSFW :}

In General:

Once again, I am entirely governed by my intuition when I write these and for some almost unholy reason, this time, it was screeching Laughing Jack! I took a moment to think about the others, maybe Masky? Maybe EJ? BEN, if I knew him better? It might be the gemini, or the taurus moon, hell maybe it was the kinks? But, I am living for this matchup and I am going to explain in great detail. Thank you.

Things he likes about you:

The first thing I actually liked about this ask was the height thing lmfao. I was like “yeah. Good” and I just think LJ would really enjoy that too. Your blond hair is really, really nice to him! He will thread his claw like fingers through it, and mention the different colors it looks like AND HE WILL GO WILD WHEN YOU DYE IT. OMFG please show this clown the dyes he will help you with it and he will love it. He’ll call you different pet names off the colors lmfao. Your eyes are so beautiful to him he will never stop comparing them to blue raspberry though. I don’t make the rules. He would absolutely do that. He thinks you’re so handsome though like let him just wrap his expando arms around you and hold you. Your freckles and your smile make his heart just expand??? Like, he can’t explain it but it’s so dashing and darling to him! Your laugh too!! Like it’s so darling he could listen to it all day. Just loves your voice. Also likes that you like gore. Have you met this man? ABsolutely. Your style also melds really well with him tbh. I think the two of you would actually be really aesthetic. He loves your piercings so much!!! Let him admire them!! I also think LJ likes the movies/genres you mentioned so that’s pretty nice too.

General cute stuff:

SO I see so many cute things happening between the two of you and my heart is gone. Out the window because of it. On the genres and movies?? Have movie dates with the clown!! He actually really likes chick flicks too and will always be up to watching them with you. Also likes heavy metal, so jam out with him. He’s also a big “I will listen to anything and if I like it, I like it” kind of guy so like, I can see music dates being a thing too. LJ tends to shift through moods as well, sometimes gets a little confused, but y’know I think he’d get along with someone who can understand him. Furthermore, I think he’s also big on gift giving and physical contact. Depends on the foods you like, but he’s a big “I will bake stuff for you” kind of guy. Also loves physical contact. Is he touch starved? No. Does he still want to pick you up and encase you in his arms and love you and pepper your face in kisses? Absolutely yes!! LJ admittedly isn’t the best for quiet but he will try his hardest for you. Just those soft moments, y’know? I can also see you two just cuddling with each other, humming or in the kitchen together swaying and having a really nice time. Just SOFT.

You two as a couple & NSFW:

SO, I think LJ would be a super attentive lover. Your anxiety and paranoia, for instance? LJ just wants the best for you and to make sure you’re safe, happy and healthy. He’d be really, really patient and understanding and I think he’s actually just really good on communication! So, as long as you’re willing to communicate with him, I think things would go pretty well. You also mentioned liking comedies so please laugh with him and have fun!! I also think that LJ would mention your posture every now and then but that’s literally just because he wants you to have a nice spine. He might bring it up when he sees it’s really not ideal. Just know he’s doing it because he loves you. He’s also really helpful if you were thinking about something and then lost the thought. So just, let him remind you. Then again, if it ever gets annoying or anything, just tell him and he’ll back off. He finds it so sweet that you’re caring and a dad friend, he needs someone like that in his life! But, the blunt thing? He could use that too. He’s admittedly blunt himself and not one to sugarcoat anything, so like, please throw it back at him. He’s also protective himself! Will buy you cool posters and incense he thinks you like. Candles too! And y’know, he’s got you 100% Just adores everything about you. From your laugh, to your physical appearance, and you as a person on the inside. It’s all so admirable to him and he loves you so, so much.

I feel like the kinks often solidify how I feel about a ship and in this case, it was pretty definitive. Everything you said seemed to line up oh so perfectly with LJ imo. LJ is the perfect mixture of praise and degradation or whatever you’re in the mood for. One minute he’s calling you a good boy and the next he’s calling you a whore or whatever else you like to be called. Looks you in the eye, rough, domineering, and ties you up in the most delicious ways possible. Will make it hard to breathe with how much pleasure he’s giving you. He’s also relatively flexible! Both figuratively and literally! If you challenge him or manage to wrangle him down, he will live for your work on him. Just make him yours, please. Weapons? Do…. Do…. Do his claws count? He will trail those up and down your body while fucking you, making you wonder if he’s gonna cut or not. Is he going to leave marks? Maybe. You taste so sweet to him. He’s also got a thing for cum so like, have fun with that. Both his and yours. Y’know cinnamon buns? All that white cream? Frosting dripping everywhere? That. You are the cinnamon bun. Make of that what you will

Closing Thoughts/Other Things:

Hi love bug! No, don’t apologize for anything, I feel as if I should apologize to you (and everyone else who isn’t sure on the status of my matchups and stuff) for not making it clear from the get go that everything is open unless I’ve said otherwise! That’s 100% my bad, and I apologize for not communicating that more clearly to you, and everyone else. Other than that, oh my goodness I loved reading this! You seem like such a wonderful person. I love candles and incense holders too so tell me about yours! My favorite incense holder I have rn is a koi fish pond. Anyways, as per usual, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed! <3

#laughing jack #laughing jack x reader #laughing jack headcanon #lj #creepypasta #creepypasta matchup #matchup #nsft #conversations with a fish woman

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arthurflecksgirl · 4 years

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In Hoyts office /Arthurs POV

This is my version of Arthurs point of view when it comes to the scene in Hoyts office

I laugh. I laugh because its the only reaction I know when I am unsure of how to react.

Gary says Hoyt wants to see me in his office. Never a good sign. But I like hearing Garys voice. He always sounds like he really means what he says. Unlike Randall. Gary is the only one I trust around here. He knows how to be friendly. He doesnt even try to be, he`s a nice guy by nature and thats a rare thing these days. Especially when you live in Gotham To be honest, I dont know how it is to live anywhere else. I`ve never made it out of this city. Not yet. But someday I will. As soon as I made enough money with my stand ups, I`ll move to California and buy a nice house on the beach. Nothing big or anything. Just small, nice place to stay and be save.The day will come when I look back at this shitty life and think "Wow, how did you even made it though the day in Gotham? How did you manage not to kill yourself? Especially after Randall gave you that gun....It would be easy now right? Just one twitch of the finger. A click.

I let out a deep sign as I close my locker and put on my white shirt. Randall just made a bad joke about Gary being small and I think its pretty evil to do that. Poor Gary. I know how he must feel right now. Even though he never shows it. I know he`s hurt. I laugh. Again. Its difficult to botton up my shirt while laughing because I try to stop my hands froms shaking. I try to make this laugh seem real. Like I really thought Randall`s joke was funny. Despite it being mean, was it funny? Maybe there is a part of me, deep inside who gets the joke. Laughing at things that make me feel uncomfortable. And my reaction makes me feel even more uncomfy than the joke itself.

Unatural. It comes off as unnatural and I know this. But I cant help it. Thats just me. Happiness is a unnatural thing to me. Why cant I just be naturally happy like everyone else?

I walk into Hoyts office. He is wearing his red shirt. Another bad sign. Its my fave color but it never means something good when Hoyt is wearing it. Its like a warning sign he is pointing right at your face. Dont mess with me today.

"Hello Hoyt. Gary said you wanted to see me".

He looks busy. Actually he didnt even looked at me when I came through that door. As if I was invisible or something. "How is your career going? Are you a famous stand up yet?" He still doest look at me. Hoyt reminds me of one of my techers back in scool. Maybe thats why I feel so intimitated by him. I feel my body posture changing. I`m back at scool. Standing in front of my classmates, being asked stupid questions I dont have an answer for. I`m a little boy again, trying to make it though the day.

"Not quite. Just been working on my material".

Oh I have been working a lot! I was working all night and the night before and the night before, because I suffer from insomnia, so I was thinking of some new jokes until the sun came up again. But if I had the chance to fall asleep I might have some nightmares about scool and that teacher which reminded me so much of you, Hoyt. I hate you. I hate your voice.

I wanna sit down but he tells me that I dont have to take a seat. This will be quick. I feel my patience fading. I cant do this anymore.

"I like you Arthur, a lot of the guys think you`re a freak but I like you...."

I smile but I dont feel it.

"...I dont even know why I like you...."

I dont smile anymore and I can feel this.

He tells me about how pissed off he is.

Well, he is not the only one. I`m working hard here. Trying to be nice and polite, trying to make people smile. I love this job, actually. As soon as I am out of this building and i´m at the kids hospital seeing their little faces and they`re eyes brighten up its all worth it. Even hearing Hoyts voice and noticing the way he is looking at me.

Well now he is looking at me. Finally. But I dont like the way he does it. He`s talking about how I didnt return the sign to Kennys music.

"Because...I got jumped....didnt you hear?"

"For a sign? Thats bullshit. This doesnt even makes sense...just give him the sign back for gods sake , Arthur!"

Of course it doesnt make sense. My whole life doesnt make any cents. Thats right, it doesnt make sense to beat me up in a dirty alley just because I was doing my dance on the streets, trying to spread laughter and joy . It doesnt make sense to insult me because I am wearing a clown costume to pay rent for my sick mother. Damn right it doesnt make sense, Hoyt!

"Why would I keep that sign?" I ask him while I feel my voice cracking. So many thoughts are running through my head but they all lead into one blurry cloud until I cant figure out anything.

"How the fuck do I know? Why is anybody do anything?" he replies.

This hit me hard, so I better try not to show it. I know it just takes one breath and I will break out in laughter. A bad one which will choke me. So I hold my breath.

Why is anybody do anything? Such a cruel question when you think about it. He admits that there is no point in doing anything. Just endless suffering. We all just exist but no one feels alive. No one actually knows why he is doing what he is doing. Its just day after day after day. What a miserable life to live. Maybe this is the big final joke after all. That no one knows what he is even doing. They all just pretend.

I´m done with pretending. I pretended all my life.

Pretended to be happy.

Pretended to laugh.

To not being hurt.

To get the joke.

Hoyt is talking about how he has to take it out of my paycheck if I dont return the sign and that I should listen to him telling me how the other guys dont feel comfortable around me because they think i´m weird.

I`m back at scool and my teacher is yelling at me. Telling me that the other kids are scared of my laughter.

So I try my best not to laugh.

Arthur, just dont.

Dont laugh.

It hurts and I swallow it.

And it hurts more.

How do you escape from being yourself?

#arthur fleck #arthur fleck imagine #joker arthur fleck #arthur fleck fanfic #arthur fleck fanfiction #arthur fleck fanfic joker #joker #joker fanfiction #joker fanfic #joker fandom #joker joaquin phoenix #joaquinphoenix #dc #joker headcanon #arthur fleck headcanon #arthur fleck imagines #joker imagines #joker 2019 #joker movie

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themrmalice · 4 years

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Treacherous Deep

By Malice

Narrated on YouTube by The Disciple: https://youtu.be/rmoQAE5QBM8

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Metal groans in discomfort as its frame compresses, glass shakes and snickers, full knowledge that it alone stands as a barrier between the crew and the black depth outside. Like invisible arms squeezing the cabin with all its might, wishing only to crush the sub like a tin can. Within were 5 “Derelicts” a term coined for salvagers, investigating a signal that blew through the system from 15,000m below the tense surface of water. Clean, lacking waves, like a marble. Took 4 blasts from an orbital kinetic cannon to break the surface tension, allowing the Derelicts to go beneath its murky waves.

Passing 4,000m, the Abyss, where no light dare tread, and where only 1 singular pulse of light may emit. A fiery red beams from a subsurface station, pulsing, again, again, again. It was still a few thousand metres down, in the pitch black beneath us. Perched on the only continental mass we could find, between two cliffs leading into a massive and unexplored crevice. Depth calculators still havent found the bottom, hidden as it is, we were sent in to find where the S.O.S. was coming from.

Passing 6,000m, its been quiet, with only a few low groans from the Ballast interrupting that silence. Hideous and beautiful, the ocean is nothing but a masterpiece. Our Sonar has not picked up anything thus far, and with a 4,000 mile radius, its only proof that we are truly in an abyss. No rocky formations, no lifeforms, not even bacterial life. Just our sub. The S.S. Moloch. As we sink deeper into the abyss, my job becomes far more difficult. I manage room pressurization. Normally Automated, but the station wanted us to be extra cautious. After 10,000m, its one button press from instantaneous death due to Barotrauma. I’ve seen it, at this depth the body is its own weapon. Implosion, your body guts itself brutally, the fashion by which it does this involves innumerable organs expanding and collapsing. In the blink of an eye, what used to be your friend is now a misty cloud of parting crimson.

Passing 9,000m, in just a few minutes, our ears will start to ring, a signal I need to up pressurization in the sub, just a tick too much however, and we will meet a watery grave. The control panel in front of me started to beep a couple hundred meters up, showcasing a warning that the pressure in my specific cabin was getting too low. If I let it beep for a second longer, my cabin would have collapsed, adding to the weight of our sub and eventually sinking the S.S. Moloch. Everything must be perfect, every tiny calculation, no room for error. Our Oxygen Supply, if the tempurature increases the entire supply could explode and puncture the bow, dragging us all down with it. The Sonar, if we lose power to it, even for a moment, wont be able to notify us of our descent speed. Moving to fast, we hit a rock and implode, moving to slow, and we are wasting valuable minutes beneath the surface. The Pilot, his hands are weary and eyes are straining, sweating profusely, one wrong move and we’ve lost time down here. This S.O.S. beacon was calculated to be below 20,000m. Under the crust and buried in the mantle.

10,000m, we found the station, who signalled us into a drydock for resupply and a small break lasting only 2 hours. A mistake in my opinion, the break may only slow us down. I remained on the ship, telling those on the station I cannot leave until I can guarantee the safe reentry of my companions. About 30 minutes in, I gave in and left. The station was dilapidated, held together by the bare minimum, I believe I found some gum holding a small hole in the ground of the dry dock together, frozen by nitrogen. Depth Gum too, made out of plants found down here, eases anxiety while retaining focus. The crew aboard the station, Station Lamia, one of 4 here and the only one at this depth in The Trench. The Crew were all very calm, relaxed, and overall pleasant. They gave us food, water, the occasional ration of alcohol, and eventually sat us down for a more serious topic. The Trench. The widest berth they’ve found down here was a mere 800m in diametre. Our sub could easily slip through, but that was merely the opening. Past 14,000m, the diameter never opens up to 800m, meaning we would need to take it slow and cautious. They warned us of the wild life down here as well. Incredibly territorial and incredibly large to boot. The largest creature they’ve seen can dwarf the entire station! Its so massive that it could never find its way out of the cavern system. The caves it resides in are too far beneath the trench to explore, but a probe was sent in and never found the bottom. Only the horrifying site of an unknown station. Upon exploration of it, the researchers found scriptures of unknown languages. A sign we have been looking for, a sign of sentient alien life. The unknown station was named “Incognita” and has been probed only twice. The full station has not been explored, as part of it was burrowed into the wall of the cave. Another threat they mentioned, oozing black liquid, an ichor so strong it could stick our whole sub to the side of a building on Earth with only 5 square inches of it. Its so powerful that extraction is next to impossible. They would require a requisitioned Extraction Mech AND have it modded to survive at this depth. To put it lightly, this cave system wants us dead. The Water, wants us dead. The creatures. The rocks. The currents. All of it wants us dead. The final and most foreboding threat they warned us about, the water itself. Its not water. It feels, looks, tastes like water. But its lighter. And on a microbial scale, it too moves upon its own volition. Tiny molecules that sink into the pores of skin and bones. The molecules themselves will expand and connect during expansion. When you swim in the water, you cant come out. They happily gave us a new Depth Suit, only one and not fitted. We boarded our sub and said goodbye. The Crew gave us hugs and we left with a somber farewell. They didnt expect to see us again.

Passing 12,000m, the pressure is off the charts and hard to control. Outside is no longer black, but now gray rocks painted by my light. These rocks moved swiftly. “I thought they said this cave had a wide berth?” I said to the captain. The radio clicked on, “Yeah, I thought so too. I cant remain mad at them though, I wouldn’t want to do constant calculations down here.” He has a point. But, this is a lot smaller than they led us to believe! We barely fit through some caves! The stalactites nearly scraped my window, but they were pointed at a peculiar angle. Odd. Why would they be pointed off to the side? Maybe the ship nudged them.

Passing 15,000m, we were nearing the point of the S.O.S., with enough Oxygen to get us back to the station with an hour to spare and enough fuel to get us to the surface and back, we were all feeling warily confident! The Crew had snuck a pack of Depth Gum for us onto the ship, so we were all feeling more relaxed than normal. Even with our ship barely fitting through some sections. The ship groaned a few metres down, made us all jump out of our seats! It was so loud we thought we scraped against the wall! Turns out the Ballast just kicked some sand from the bed! Our on board engineer screamed “Watch it! We dont want to poke a hole in the ballast, you know that right?” The captain quickly responded “I-I didnt hit it! The sonar didn’t state that the bed was anywhere close to us! We had about a 10 metre difference between the ballast and the sand bed!” “Uh-huh,” the engineer groaned, “just make sure you watch it next time. Please.” “Of course.” The captain wearily said. He looked more confused as he examined the Sonar, I peaked over and saw what was confusing him. The sand bed behind us was now much lower! How can that be? Its solid rock with a pile of sand on it! Thank god we only nicked the sand pile itself!

Passing 17,000m, this cave is by far an anomaly! Nothing we have ever seen before! The cave walls shift! I swear on my life! I told the captain and he said nothing, just a blank stare. Of course, thats a staple of him. He wears drab attire, only his captain coat and hat set him apart from the rest of us. The generic blue captains coat was nothing to scoff at however, for he had a number of badges, all decorated his upper left shoulder. One patch was a commendation of performing 12 missions below 10,000m. This would be his 13th. Another patch showed his military service during The Fall. One for 40 years of service. Finally there was one I hadn’t recognized. A red patch, decorated with a blue rose in the middle with the words “Flos Occidere” encircling it. I know that Patch I just cant put a name to it!

Passing 19,000m, we were approximately 1 hour from the S.O.S. The Captain turned to me, with his dead glare he said “I want you to go in the Suit and investigate the signal.” I was surprised, “Why me?” I asked. He spoke again, this time without tone “I want you to go in the suit and investigate the signal, thats an order.” I quickly responded “Yes sir!”. But something felt off about him. As we descended, the pressure began to stabilize and I asked him “May I go get a drink, sir?” He nodded quietly, eyes fixated on the sonar, which shifted every few minutes. I got up and began my descent into the musty storage, where I picked up a flashlight, a Seal, and a bottle of water. As I turned around the Engineering Chief was behind me, glaring at me with similarly dead eyes. “You got what you need for your dive?” I nodded, shaken by his posture and gaze, “Wait, how did you know I was diving? The captain never sent out a mess-” He turned around and grabbed a handheld sonar and the Dive Suit I was going to wear, “Better get prepared, we are only 500m from the bottom.” then he shoved them all into my arms and slowly walked away. I was trembling, both from that encounter, and the thought that we were already only 500m away from “The Bottom”. Which means either we are descending fast, or the caves shifted again, bringing the Beacon closer to us for some unexplained reason.

20,000m. We stopped just a few meters away from a Derelict, crushed into itself with triangular holes roughly grinded into the body. The scene was horrendous. I was alone in the jettison chamber, in my suit with an hour of oxygen available to me. I booted up my Seal, and it began to whir rapidly. I turned it off to preserve power, and gave a thumbs up to the camera. Voice Comms werent available in this suit, unfortunately, so I was on my own. The chamber opened and a cold wash of liquid cleaned the scuffs off my suit and I was immediately enveloped by the deep black. The ships bow lights were on, illuminated the whole of the wreck. I booted my Seal up again and it tugged me towards the wreck, where its perched flashlight poked into recesses and revealed exploded Oxygen Tanks and cracked glass. After surveying the outside, I wormed my way within through an incredibly large hold, the same triangular holds decorated the rim of it. The steel door ahead of me was covered in that ichor the crew on the station mentioned, so I wasnt getting in through that. Luckily the way the ship was bent showed a smaller hole that gave way to the inside. I barely squeezed through, and before I knew it I was inside the Medical Bay. Only a distorted arm floated towards the ceiling, other than that, the place was empty. I noticed that the door had claw marks on it, something with incredible strength tried to break in. I found the S.O.S. Beacon and turned it off.

As soon as the switch clicked into place, though, the lights from the sub were gone. Replaced by a deafening squeal of metal against stone, similar to that a rumble began beneath my feet! I had to get out of the sub! I clawed my way to a hole and began to tear through the rusted metal with only my hands. Unfortunately, the metal had cut a hole into my glove! I swam out, searching for my Sub, but nothing was there except the dead black! Limitless, I used my seal to chase upwards for a minute and found nothing, not even the cave walls! I felt a current, a pull, the water shifted from behind me! An unknown presence was here! I quickly descended back to the sub, and sheltered myself inside the Medical Bay. I saw something move, something massive! Enormous teeth and a gaping maw! Eventually, it all went black again, my light flickered off so all I could see was black! It came back on again, illuminated a pale figure in the distance, outside the hole in the sub, a massive mouth with hundreds of teeth, all swirling in an oval! It drew closer and closer, until I could see the shine of its teeth! It slammed into the sub, my light flashed off again, and all I could hear were the hideous moans emitted from the sub itself as it conformed to the mouth biting into it. The rumbling began again, god I cant take another cave shift! It continued for minutes on end until grinding to a halt! It was all quiet! My light still didnt work, the battery finally ran out! I felt the rush of the water, the water shifted again! But this time, it was next to me! I reached for my belt and grabbed an emergency flare, I struggled with the tip for a while and fumbled lighting it, until eventually, it snapped to life! And before me, illuminated by the red of my flare, a horrific figure appeared and disappeared again. It looked to have tentacles! I have no idea! I slowly rose to my feet, the whole medical bay was illuminated now, I could see the hole! Instantly I got up and swam out, where I was met with a distant sound that rang through my body. I felt something slowly envelope my leg, and tug me downwards. I let go of the flare and flailed back and forth as the thing grabbing me did! I was hurled into the sand, where I snagged a small pointed rock, which I used to jab into the gripping mass! With one hand I held it, and with the other I punched into the squishy thing with the rock! It let go, and I began to fall deeper. The flare was below me, showcasing a massive cave, something from my deepest nightmares! The walls were flexing and slowly writhing into itself, weaving a horrid shape around me. I continued to fall, feeling the water rush around me, watching the flare as it too fell. The walls began to slowly narrow, until only a small hole, big enough for one person to fit was found. It looked like it was excavated. When I gently landed beside the hole, I picked up the now dying flare. I raised it, nothing was around me! But i felt the water rushing to and fro. I reluctantly hopped into the hole, and slowly descended into it. I fell for what felt like hours, before reaching a small cave with no way out. When I hit the ground, a horrific sound bellowed through the cave. Another groan. The flare died out. I was alone in a crunchy pit. It felt like the floors were made of wood that had been burnt to cinders.

An hour passed, I began crying, watching my Oxygen Supply deplete slowly. Just let me die already. Before me, I saw a small yellow light, it was growing in size! Its the end! I’m free! I jumped to my feet and stammered closer! On my approached I realized, it was something physical. The size of a Walnut, growing, becoming more bright. It began to illuminate something it was hanging on. I moved in for a closer look, my hand outstretched to grab the pulsing seed. Until the seed flashed brightly, and showcased the horror that held it. Long, gangly hands. All its bones were grotesquely lengthened, and a swirling mass of tentacles weaving into a ball laid at its feet. A human skeleton. Its ribcage still loosely intact, and its arms slowly enveloping me. The skull was fully dysmorphic, the upper half of the skull was lengthened with sharp, elongated teeth pointing from the front. Below its jaw hung, barely held to to the skull. From the roof of the mouth, the seed hung. How was it moving? The last thought that crossed my mind. Only to be answered, by the realization of that very black ichor covering the joints and crossing from one bone to another. As its arms closed in, its head moved towards me, and the light began to fade.

#horror story #horror literature #writeblr #writing #writers #creative writing #science fiction #sci fi #Youtube

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solara-bean · 5 years

Text

A Talk With The Prime Himself

(Reader insert-ish)

I stood by in the entrance of the warehouse, one foot outside the ajar door and my shoulder resting on the other. I heard the calm rhythm of the rain against the forest floor and trees. With each subtle gust of wind, a spray of mist cooled my face. Closing my eyes, I let out a sigh of content. Nothing could ruin this peaceful moment.

" Is there something troubling you?"

Ok you'd think a giant, metal robot breaking the silence would, but his deep, gentle voice did the exact opposite.

I turned slightly and made eye contact with Optimus over my shoulder. It wasn't too hard to find his glowing, blue optics in the dark.

" No. Why do you ask?"

He came a step closer. How he managed to do so with little sound, or sneak up on me to begin with, baffled me.

" You are normally in stasis at this hour. The others, including Ratchet, are deep in slumber if I might add."

I grinned. Of course he checked on everyone before heading to bed. If he ever slept that is. He was always the first one up and usually the last one, besides Ratchet, who was still up working on a datapad late in the night. He never showed any signs of fatigue so maybe he did rest every now and then. That or he was just good at hiding it.

" I just wanted to see the rain is all."

" I see...do you mind if I join you?"

I shrugged.

" Not at all."

We stood and watched the rain with the door fully open. I thought back on the first time Optimus had seen rain. We were on the open road when all of a sudden he'd panicked at the first drop on his windshield. Speeding to the nearest shelter, with the rest of the Autobots in tow, I found myself cluttered under a rock formation with them.

I'd barely gotten the chance to ask what was the matter in the mist of it, so I did once they'd seemed to calm down. Ratchet didn't hesitate to scold me on not mentioning earth's toxic rain. Which of course rose many questions. Optimus took the liberty of answering them, still clutching me to his chassis, as the others stared fearfully at the downpour.

I kindly asked him to put me down, then proceeded to step into the rain despite their protests. Once they all saw that I was indeed not burning alive, one by one they came out of the shelter. We'd probably spent a half an hour playing in the rain. By which I mean Ratchet watched as the others, especially Bumblebee, ran around and jumped in mud puddles. Optimus, however, kept his head titled to the clouds, optics shut. I'd never seen him more at peace.

It was one of my fondest memories of them. Optimus had even kept the cab's heater on so that I wouldn't get sick. Although I could've dealt without paying for all of them to got to the car wash.

After what couldn't have been more than six minutes, the rain came to a slow stop.

" Huh......I thought it would last longer." I whispered.

" I did as well."

Oh right, I keep forgetting how sharp their hearing is. It really doesn't help for those who think out loud a lot.

" Well," I stretched out my back with a groan. " Guess I should head to bed." I began to walk towards my room before pausing to see if he was heading to his. He was still looking out the door.

" Are you staying up?"

He blinked as if coming out of deep thought.

" I was contemplating on watching the stars. The sky seems to be clearing faster than I expected."

" Oh, well don't stay up too late. Can't have our fearless leader falling asleep during his own speech."

His shoulders shook as he let out a small chuckle. It was a sound I rarely heard, which probably added to why it was one of my favorites.

" You have my word. I hope you have a pleasant stasis."

" You too. Goodnight." I only made it ten steps before turning back around. " Actually I have an idea."

----

Optimus strolled through the forest, his peds creating a soft smush sound on the rain-drenched grass, while I sat on his shoulder. I don't when the habit started, but whenever given the chance I'd find myself situated on his shoulder. Sometimes, I did so to chat with him, others was just to have a comfortable place to read or on occasion nap.

Optimus didn't seem to mind at all. He was normally the one to put me up there if I couldn't reach. No one seemed to question our ritual either. A few perplexed glances at first, but that was it. It felt nice though, having the privilege of being this close to him, his presence calming me. The view was nice as well.

We soon arrived at a cliff in one of the clearings. It overlooked the rest of the expansive forest, trees seeming to go on for ages. However, our view was turned upwards.

The stars were brighter than I'd ever seen them. Growing up in the city truly deprived me of such a sight. If only I knew every constellation.

" Are you enjoying the view?" I asked him. He was now sitting on the edge, peds dangling. His posture inclined backwards enough so that I wouldn't slip off of him.

" Immensely." he replied, optics not leaving the sky.

We sat there for several moments in a peaceful silence, besides the occasional cricket. Then I remembered something that I'd been wondering for a while.

" Do you.....like it here on earth?"

" Yes. Why do you ask?"

I looked to the ground.

" It's just that...I can't imagine needing to leave my planet then settling on another and starting over. It just seems so...terrifying."

He hummed in thought. His audiual fins twitching slightly and quite adorably.

" It was a challenge, settling here, but I've come to admire this planet dearly."

I smiled, but it soon turned back into a frown.

" I wish that this war didn't happen."

He turned to me sharply, as if concerned.

" Are you sure that you're alright? First you stay up later than usual and now this."

" I'm fine I just," I groaned and sunk my head into my hands. " I just keep thinking about how better your lives would have been if you weren't at war. I know that my time with you has barely been a fraction compared to long it's been going on, but even to me it's becoming tiresome. You've all gone through so much and you deserve to be happy yet...."

" Yet?" he pressed on.

I sighed.

" Yet everytime I think about the war not happening, I get sad. Your conflict with the Cons is the only reason why you came to earth. So if it never happened then...."

" ...Then we never would have met you." he continued.

" Exactly," I let out a quiet, sorrowful laugh. " Isn't that selfish? Me getting all mopey over you being happy without me."

I could feel my eyes sting with oncoming tears. Come on! Now is not the time to cry. Not in front of Optimus of all people.

" I don't think it's selfish at all."

I was taken aback and made eye contact with him again.

" Really?"

" Of course, in fact, you're one of the most selfless beings I have ever had the honor of meeting. If anything, I'm the one who has been selfish."

" What?! Optimus I think you of all people are incapable of being selfish."

He gave me a small smile. It held a bit of guilt to it.

" You have done everything in your power to help us even though you are merely a bystander in this war. You have put your life on the line countless times for our sake and I have not repaid you in any way. I haven't even been able to protect you properly." his field radiated with regret. I'm still surprised that I can feel it. Not as strongly as a cybertronian would, but there was still a faint feeling when were close. Since that was often, I've learned to distinguish each emotion. Regret, however, was rare, especially directed towards me.

" I won't deny that there have been close calls," I felt a chill go up my spine at the memory of Megatron grabbing me, much harsher than any of the Bots. I had been sure that I'd die then and there in his cold, tight grasp. " But you have repaid me. Countless times actually."

His audial fins perked up.

" I have?"

" Of course you have. Do have any clue how in a funk I was before you guys arrived. I was lonely too but I guess thats on me for living in the woods. But when you showed up, it's like everything was new. By showing you my world I realized just how much I love it. Some people not so much, but the goods ones for sure. Then I was able to further my knowledge, learn about an alien race, make new friends AND fight killer robots,"

I caught my breath which soon turned to short giggle.

" Opty, I'd say you paid me in full before you even owed me. " I still can't believe he lets me call him that.

For a while he just stared at me fondly and I did the same.

" When all of this is over. When everything is safe here on earth....I'm going to take you to Cybertron."

My head whipped to face him although he was still looking at the sky, determination in his optics.

" Really...?" I muttered in disbelief. " You'd...you'd do that? You'd take me there?"

He turned to me and nodded.

" If it's to repay me then you don't need to. It would be too much of a hassle and what would the others think of you bringing an organic? As a Prime no less!"

He stared at me intently before raising his servo and cluthing me gently. It's what he normally did when I was distressed.

" I'm not taking you to my home because I feel that I need to. I'm taking you because I want to. I want you to experience my world as I've experienced yours. And ....to be completely honest...I...."

I gingerly touched his digit to urge him on.

" I don't think I'm quite ready to part ways with you either....For this to be over..."

We both didn't need to ponder on what this was. We never did and probably never will. Whatever it was it was certainly mutual. The Bots knew too. Probably even the Cons.

" I don't think I ever will..." I leaned my head against his faceplate and he nudged back, optics closing in content.

" I can't promise that you'll be accepted. I can't promise that it'll be all that you hoped. And I can't promise that I'll survive to be able to take you....but I promise that I'll try...with all my spark." he whispered with his optics still shut.

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I let a few fall.

" You have to promise one more thing. And not as a Prime or even an Autobot. Just as you and only you."

" And what would that be?"

"....that you'll never forget me, no matter what happens."

He chuckled. Almost sadly as if realizing what I meant. That even if he did survive my lifespan would dwarf his. It was inevitable.

" How could I promise such a thing? Primus himself couldn't stop me from forgetting you."

And he didn't.

He never did.

#optimus prime #optimus #orion pax #g1 transformers #idw transformers #optimus prime x reader #fluff #reader insert #honestly whatever version of op #a lil oc-ish for future writes

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mydearsaddiary · 4 years

Text

Little curiosity notes: Hey guys! We’re on chapter 9 now! If everything goes according to plan the story will end in the next chapter! I might do an additional short epilogue after, but the plan is only to continue until chapter 10! Thank you so much for reading until here and as always: Feel free to reach out!

Thank you!

Candy (08/20/2020)

Neil Chapter 9 part 1- First, do no harm

1933

-Cliff- I said as I walked from the back room of the diner I helped to manage now- you’re running low on soda, you know!

-Geez- He said, finishing up cleaning a table and running towards me- I’m awful with this inventory stuff ya know, MC. Mind seeing everything we’re missing?

I smiled, gently hitting him on the head with the papers I was holding- Glad to help.

-Neil coming in today? Just got his new bourbon stash this morning!

-Im sure he’ll pop by later when the nanny is home. How’s everything going with you?

-It’s fine, me and Jane just moved in together- He crossed his arms , blushing a little and giving me that big smile of his.

-So you finally settled down. Next thing you know you’ll have little Conways running around the place

-Maybe in a few years- He turned around when somebody called his name- Alright, duty calls. Have fun in there!

-I always have- I waved at him and returned the back room to count our stock, manage prices, and do basically everything I did at the Ice Box. I enjoyed doing the same job alongside the same people without having the risk. Our past evolved into a better future than most of what the other mob bosses had.

Suddenly, I heard the lock click. My initial shock soon turned into dark memories I wanted to forget. Impulsively I tried open the door only to find out I was actually locked in

-Hey...! Hey!- I knocked on the door- Hey, let me out! Somebody locked me in- I wasn’t scared of enclosed places. It was the sound of the lock clicking and the inability to open it from the inside that haunted me.

I hated being locked in.

-MC- The door opened after a few knocks. Vince was there- Sorry, just came in and thought somebody left it open

-It’s alright-My cheeks were colored red, but besides that I kept my posture- I’ll just do the inventory outside

1926

I opened my eyes, waking up from my sleep. I could feel no sign of light besides the faint, artificial one. I sighed heavily realizing nothing had changed. In my new found experience, not being in the sun for three weeks messes with you head. It makes you tired and empty. A crippling force tells you to accept your fate to remain there.

I sat up, only to find Vera already awake on the mattress besides mine- Did you check the day today?- I asked

-Yeah. The holidays are approaching fast. How are you?

I rubbed my stomach which now had started to show more. Vera had asked the mayor, in one of the times he came in, for new clothes. She had some in the bedroom they used to share. It was refreshing to say the least and her clothes, that were slightly bigger on me, helped me hide my condition from him. It was a light and loose salmon colored shirt that went down until my hip, and a beige skirt that went to my calf, along with white stockings. It was nothing I’d normally wear, but I wasn’t in the position to be picky.

-I feel fine- I said- I don’t feel too sick anymore. I haven’t gotten any movements yet

-How far along are you?

-Hm... I went to the doctor last month... Must be around 13 or 14 weeks.

-It’s still early. Mine didn’t move until about 17 weeks

I looked at her, genuinely surprised- You have kids?

-Oh yes, Frank and I have our children. They’re all grown and moved on to different parts of the country. My oldest one is a little older than you.

-What’s her name?

-His, actually. His name is Robert. He’s 21 now, he got a job out west and comes back to visit when he can.

-Who are the others?

-Oh, May is 18. She’s with her aunt in Florida. I sent her when things got too complicated here. She wouldn’t listen to us.

I chuckled- I know how she feels.

-Then there’s Matt. He’s 16.

-What’s going on with Matt?

-He’s in New York as an apprentice to his grandfather. My ex-husband’s dad. He wants to teach him how to run the business he owns

-Seems like they’ve got it all figured out

-Yes. Well, I know the feeling of having your first kid. I was but a bit older than you are right now. Although- She pointed to her surroundings- I had a more adequate stay

I laughed, but there was no humor in my voice- Adler’s gonna bring our city down under his total power if we don’t do something

-You don’t think your men are trying to save you or figure it out?

-Trying is the key word. Vince...-I sighed, with a heavy heart- Well, Adler shot him... He must be dead right now. That means Cliff and Uncle Charlie must be a mess. On top of it, for my uncle, there’s the fact that I disappeared. That also messes with Neil who, I can’t even imagine what he must be feeling but it’s nothing good. Then Donovan isn’t close enough with them to put everybody’s head together. Julius, Cleo, Sofia and Andrew... Im sure they’re trying to help but...- I sighed- I’m the head of the Ice Box. Im the queen on the chess board. They need me- I said as I realized it myself- I can’t spend any more time waiting for something to happen or counting days.

-You already tried everything, remember?

-Not everything- I got up, exercising my need to move my legs- You know Adler’s schedule better than anyone. When is he out for a long time?

-He’s always at the office from noon to six on weekdays.

-Then thats our time to escape. We’ll wait an hour just to be sure, then leave.

-Yes, but you’re leaving out the important part— How are we gonna leave?

-Last night, before I went to bed, I was looking around your things to see if I could find something useful

-You went through my stuff?!-She said visibly irritated

-If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have found this- I opened my hand to show her the few bobby pins I had in my possession

-How is pinning your hair up helping us?

-Oh Vera, dig a little deeper. It’s for opening the door. I can pick it!

-With those? I think you might be a little too optimistic

-Thankfully- I said cheering up- I had plenty of training sneaking back in my house, and hiding from Momma and Poppa. I have yet to meet a lock that could stop me.

She looked at me for a few seconds and sighed- Alright, I’ll bite. One in the afternoon then.

-Thats right!-I hid it once I heard the door open. They were bringing breakfast down.

____

We heard Adler leave. We heard everything until there was nothing else to hear. The anticipation was so overwhelming that when Vera’s little clock hit twelve-thirty, we were on out way up the stairs.

I got two bobby pins and started to work on unlocking the door. In a few minutes, it clicked and it opened right up to the now dark living room

-You know- She whispered- For the three weeks you were here, you could’ve tried that sooner.

-I didn’t know you had these!- I whispered too, but in an angrier tone- And you’re welcome!

I pushed the door out slowly, as if someone would head. The dark immensity of the house spread before my eyes. Without a single soul there it seemed peaceful, but in a way that unsettled you, like something was waiting to jump out from the dark. The negativity soon disappeared as I got lost in my thoughts for a second and walked over to the big window, letting the sun hit my face. The warmth of the natural light, warmed up my heart along with it. The joy of finally breaking free made me forget for an instant I had to walk out the front door.

-Miss Granger, let’s go!-Vera hurried me up

-Yeah, right- I walked up to the front of the house. By the door there was a table. I noticed keys on top of it- This is for his Ford, isn’t it?- I grabbed them-Nifty! We just got out escape vehicle

-I can’t drive- She looked at me uncertain

-Well, I’ve been learning- I replied opening the door- Now, let’s scram

___

I had to go through two Fords to find the one the keys belonged too, within myself we could taste the flavor of freedom.

Opening the door, I made my way in. It was then everything was ruined by a single shot that went right through the window on my side. When I looked back, Adler stood a few yards away with a gun aimed in my direction, along with his two goons.

-Go, Vera! Inside!-I yelled at the top of my lungs closing my door and turning on the car. I stepped on the gas and went as fast as the car would allow me to.

Soon, down the streets of Chicago we went. The bright sun and the streets filled with people would normally be cause for celebration, but my currently situation prevented me from enjoying it. I heard more shots coming our way and noticed that Adler was following us in his own car

To make everything better, Vera was freaking out in the passenger seat

-Woaaaaaaaaah, be careeeful! Waaaait, you’re going tooooo faaaaast!

-Vera!- I yelled back, driving and swerving as much as my experience would allow- If I don’t drive fast he’s gonna catch up to us—Ah!- I yelped when another shot came right in between us, making a hole in the windshield

-You’re gonna kills uuuus!-Her voice got louder and more annoying- I’m not ready to die!- She continued, letting out her “Oh!”s And “Oh my god!”s And her loud screams that were worse than the shots for me. At this point, I tried my best to ignore them since our lives depended on it

She yelled even louder when his car bumped into our rear and sent our bodies forward. I heard continuous shots that shattered our windows and I couldn’t go any faster. I had to think of something quickly, but all the stimulation from the outside made the task harder.

That’s when I saw it and hope ushered back into me. The little red convertible from the corner of my eyes, driving right ahead of us. Vince drove with ease on the wheel, while, surprisingly, our most experienced shooter, Donovan, fired back in the mayor’s direction from the passenger seat.

Seeing them, I let out a relieved little laugh. Fear was substituted with the urge to go faster, so I gained some distance on them. On the other side the trusty green Studebaker had Cliff, Uncle Charlie and Julius in it. Cliff drove, Uncle tried to steal glances my way, and Julius had a pistol, and helped Donovan by firing back. Sometimes Vince would keep one hand on the wheel and use pearl to fire as well. What I thought was going to be hell quickly turned into an exhilarating thrill.

And then, time slowed down as a third car showed up. The darker colored vehicle that belong not just to any man, but to the man I had longed to see all this time— Neil Dresner. I recognized the car but I couldn’t see him since he drove ahead of me. It might seem silly, but the importance of that moment couldn’t be just understood, it had to be felt. The whole world brightened up again just to know he was near. I knew then I wasn’t alone, and I never would be again.

And then everything came back to me in a second, when Vera’s shouting became deafening and another shot came right by us

-We’re going to die! Jesus!- She kept having her panic attacks

-MC!-I heard a voice from Vince in his car- To the docks! Go to the docks!

I nodded, better now that I had a direction in mind,so I sped up towards my new destination.

The city passed by us in a blur, I didn’t allow myself to focus on anything else but getting there. I’m sure everyone else had a plan and in my mind I started formulating the beginning of my own.

I turned into the road that led to the docks and swerving the car faster than it could handle, I stopped abruptly, hitting a few of the many giant boxes piled around, ready to be transported. The side of the car caved in, but we came out unscathed in the front

-What are you thinking?! We could have died! We could hav-

-Vera!- I yelled, looking at her, panting. The adrenaline hadn’t left my body and I knew it wouldn’t for a long time- you’re a chatter-mag bitch- I said in an unusual calm tone, still trying to catch my breath

-Excuse me?-She gave me that look she usually did when she disapproved of something

I was going to reply, but then I heard a car and shots again- Go Vera! Out of the car!- I pushed her out her way and pulled her to hide behind the boxes laid out nearby.

I heard more tires and assumed my gang had arrived to rescue us. I smiled realizing I was right when I saw Vince throwing me my trusty revolver- Let’s take car of em, boss.

-Don’t call me that- I grabbed it, feeling an immense power I hadn’t felt in a long time. I pointed it to my target, my enemies, those who sided with Adler...

...And fired.

Part 2: https://mydearsaddiary.tumblr.com/post/627009903803990016/speakeasy-tonight-fanfic-neil-season-3-chapter-10

#voltage usa #speakeasy tonight #voltage amemix #voltage inc #voltage #voltage games #lovestruck #lovestruck voltage #neil dresner #vince moretti

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flockofdoves · 5 years

Text

been gaining weight pretty quickly this month (which is good! i’m glad i seem to be improving a lot with eating normally again and my stomach is slowly tolerating things better) and i’m pretty disaociated from my body i didnt realize how much i lost before its kinda wild the few moments of clarity i did have (like it wasnt objectively a shocking image just in comparison to my typical weight throughout the past few years) and now ive only started realizing ive gained weight again because my boobs keep ffucking hurting like i’m going through puberty again to a lesser extent i havent worn bras regularly in like a year and a half (and no i dont have small ones i know a lot of people with breasts my size think its something they physically cant do or w/e but really as long as you dont care about looking “saggy” (so what lol) physically i think its actually felt better for me than the “support” of a bra i only wear sports bras with button ups to avoid when they open up) but yeah god i might need to wear one for a bit again just bc they hurt lol i think this maybe is a sign to start actively pursuing transition stuff again soon

wait actually coming back to this like an hour later bc i was curious what my bra size is and

why is sizing so complicated it should not be this hard what

i think i only thought i knew how it worked before because i wayyyy measured myself wrong

what are you even supposed to do for measuring when the middle of them sags well below where your band measurement is

trying to look this up just made me angry because instead of tips for properly measuring i only got “prevent saggy breasts” “saggy breasts are a problem that effects some women when they age or breast feed heres our special expensive bras to treat them” like literally shut up theres nothing “wrong” about it thats literally just how things are gonna be for most people with larger breasts. i should not be surprised but even the smallest forays into femininity never fail to disappoint me

thought i was like a 36~38D~DD but i’m actually like . somewhere in the broad category of 32~34F~K no matter which method of measuring/chart i used. which is wild because at only slightly less than i am now i thought i was a B cup for ages just because i wore the tightest sports bras lolol

so lol yeah i already wasn’t planning on buying any more bras but like. that cements it bc thats even more expensive and inaccessible

also maybe some of my posture issues are from my boobs??? but bras did literally nothing for that. granted they werent the right size i’m learning now but i don’t like their general feeling or how they look on me or anything. binding also isn’t possible most of the time for me anymore with my fibro and chronic fatigue and how it exacerbates back problems/muscle and rib pain/preexisting shortness of breath so i’m actually really happy with where i’ve come to in the past couple years in feeling comfortable with my breasts as they naturally sit/look and not feeling constantly aware of them and just letting them be and part of my body just wearing what i wear without bras. i still am pretty sure i’d like top surgery because aesthetically it’d be easier for me and it’d make a lot of outfits less of a hassle to pull off and button ups would be easier because i wouldnt have to choose between camis when its hot out and ill fitting sports bras. and like. yeah i still have some gender dysphoria (for lack of a better term. idk how to say it shortly without getting into All That personally) surrounding them but i think its a lot less central than it used to be when i had to think about wearing bras and even binders and stuff they just felt a lot more central to my life and alien while now i could deal with them probably outside of the still consistent but less constant reminders of 1. i am a person who is perceived by others and 2. sometimes just. objectively physically they are uncomfortable and annoying and 3. the taboo on showing them in our world and how our clothing is structured doesnt help

#cpost #weight talk -#ed implied -#i'm oversharing a bit im goofy #this is a post about boobs. lol

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magioftheseas · 6 years

Text

Day 1 - Reserve

Written for @the-hinata-project

Prompt: Reserve Course Student Hinata

Rating: G

Warnings: Lowkey manipulation and insecurity, but other than that, not much.

Notes: Alright, so I’m still in the middle of these, but like... Here’s the first one! They’re all going to be pretty short, around 2K but I’m gonna do my best to finish all of them so wish me luck...! And this first fic is gen. No ships. Next ones won’t be so gen. It’s also pre-HPA. Kind of.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

The last wish he made on New Year’s was a simple one.

I want to get into Hope’s Peak.

But of course that would never happen.

“Can’t you dream more realistically, Hajime? Do you have any idea how expensive Hope’s Peak actually is? We can’t afford that.”

“I... I know that, but...”

“If you know then why are you burdening us with this? Please. Just think about other people besides yourself for once.”

“...sorry.”

His mother sighs, but ruffles his hair in a show of affection.

“You current high school isn’t so bad, right? You can make good friends here, and it’s a fine school.”

“I guess it’s...decent,” he mumbles.

“Just don’t even worry about Hope’s Peak anymore,” she tells him. “It’s impossible, and it can’t be helped. Keep your chin up. Okay?”

“...fine...”

Because he knew, after all, that she had a point. They couldn’t afford it. And he wasn’t talented. It was a pipe dream to attend. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Still...

For his birthday, he was given a new laptop to replace the old. It was a fairly recent model. Pretty expensive. Likely compensation. He can’t say he didn’t like it.

He wasn’t ungrateful. He doesn’t think so.

It’s just that I admire Hope’s Peak more than anything.

So much so that he finds himself on the forums first thing.

>Does anyone have any idea who’s going to be in the upcoming batch?

>They haven’t finished scouting, right? Oh, but I just saw on the news that an actual princess was accepted! Hope’s Peak really can get in anyone!

>Wow, actual royalty?!

>There’s this photographer I follow. She’s getting in, too, I’m pretty sure.

>I just saw Saionji Hiyoko-san’s performance last week. I’m positive she’s getting in.

>I’m more interested in the princess. Can you imagine how lucky it would be to meet an actual princess?

>>They’ll be running the lottery in a month or so. What I would give to have more of a chance...

>Wow, they’re doing that again?

>With how much getting into the reserve course costs, you probably have a better chance with the lottery...

>But if you win the lottery, you’re actually considered talented. Reserves are just...y’know, reserves.

>But you’ll get to meet the princess, potentially. I think the money’s worth it, even if all I can do is steal a glance!

>Still... Seems so lame that you can just pay your way in...

>But brand name recognition is pretty powerful...

>>I heard you can actually get into the main course from the reserve course if you do well enough.

>No way! That’s a pipe dream! Maybe if you paid like, twice as much!

>Must be nice to be rich, huh...

Hinata stares, wondering what to type, but also letting the thoughts swirl around in his head.

>>I would do anything to get into Hope’s Peak. But my family just can’t afford that.

>Yeah, mine neither. Who actually can?

>You’d be surprised... They’re getting a lot of enrollments.

>You can’t like...get a scholarship or anything? It’s not like you need to go to college after attending Hope’s Peak.

>Well the golden gates can’t open that wide, I suppose...

>It’s for the best. If just about anyone could get in, it wouldn’t be that special.

Hinata bites his lip, picking at the peeling skin with his teeth.

>>Still. I want to get in more than anything.

>If you aren’t talented, it can’t be helped.

>>I would give anything.

>Pffft. No kidding. I’d give an arm and a leg, probably.

>>I would give anything.

>A lot of people would.

>You’re like a super fan, huh. Well, I am, too, but still...

>>Getting into Hope’s Peak has always been my dream.

>Everyone wants to be special, man.

>But if everyone was special then no one would be special.

>It can’t be helped. You’re either born talented or you aren’t.

>Right?! I must have spent hours drawing but there was always that one person I could just never compare to. It’s hopeless!

>You shouldn’t say hopeless on the Hope’s Peak forums!

>Haha, sorry!

>>I’ve never been talented. There’s not one thing I’m particularly good at.

>Normie...

>>But I want to get into Hope’s Peak Academy... More than anything.

>Give it up. For your own good. Wishing for the impossible isn’t healthy.

>Hey, don’t tell him that! What if he ends up winning the lottery?

>Yeah, right!

>>I’m not particularly lucky, either.

>Luck’s not a talent anyway.

>Are you sure? I’ve known people who get ridiculously lucky while gambling...

>If they gamble too much, that luck’s bound to run out. And I bet they’re not that lucky, they just brag a lot.

>That might be true... Still it would be nice just to get into Hope’s Peak by chance...

>Whoever wins that lottery probably is ridiculously lucky considering how many people are participating. We’re talking like, every high school student in their first year in the country.

>Sucks to be other countries, huh.

>Maybe someday but for now, I like not having that much competition.

>Still a ridiculous amount competing...

>I bet it’ll be someone who can afford the reserve course if they haven’t already enrolled.

>No fair! That kind of thing should disqualify you immediately!

>>I just...want to get in...

>Yeah we all do. But it’s impossible.

>Impossible.

>Totally impossible.

>Pigs will fly first.

>I heard some Ultimates actually can make some crazy shit. We might see flying pigs pretty soon.

>That’s terrifying.

>>I just want to get in.

>You should get offline.

He should. He really, really should.

Is it really impossible?

“Of course it is,” he can practically hear them murmur. “Not only are you untalented, you can’t afford it! And you’re going to win the lottery, either!”

Hinata buries his face into his hands, shuddering.

I just... I just...

To his surprise, he later receives a DM. Shivering, he clicks it open.

>Would you really do anything for Hope’s Peak?

He doesn’t recognize the name of the sender but...it looks official.

>>Yes. Of course. Why?

>There actually is a program you can sign up for that will get you in without having to pay a coin.

Hinata blinked once. Twice.

It’s way too good to be true.

But he’s desperate. Beyond desperate.

>>What is this program? How can I sign up?

>Here’s the information.

What he’s about to do is how people get themselves abducted, he’s pretty sure. But right now, he’s desperate and... If it really was someone associated with Hope’s Peak, how bad can it be? What’s the worse than can happen?

I already have no chance getting in. I know that... But...

His heart was pounding as he took the train. He stared out the window, at HPA’s towering buildings in the distance, getting closer and closer, and he sucks in his breath.

It’s so shining that it hurts to look at.

Shining like a dream...

“Ah, Hinata-kun, you made it after all. So you have the necessary information?”

“Uh... Yes...” Truth be told, he didn’t understand most of it. There were a lot of words that were hard to read and pretty...advanced. “I just...well you said you couldn’t explain everything in just files, so...”

The other looked pretty professional. Sharply dressed and smiling in a way that at least seemed pretty welcoming. But...still pretty intimidating, considering the circumstances. Hinata ducked his head, feeling rather flustered.

“Yes, it’s meant to be kept very tightly under wraps, you see,” they laugh. “I need to assure confidentiality before explaining, Hinata-kun. Surely you understand.”

That’s...weird.

But it made his blood thrum with excitement to be a part of.

“I... Y-Yes, of course. Absolutely... Of course...”

“Sign this form, then, promising that.”

“O-Of course...!”

He scribbles down his signature without a second thought. The other smiled more, pleased. Hinata squirmed in his seat, and tried to keep his posture straight.

With that, the other sat across from him, polite and yet...expectant.

Ah... Hah...

“So you’re willing to do anything for this school,” they say, voice almost light but also dense with significance. “Might I ask why?”

“It’s...as I said on the forums,” Hinata mumbles, fiddling with his tie. Even dressed professionally for this would-be interview, he feels underdressed. “I’ve always admired this school. Always. It’s always been my dream to...to go there...”

The other nods, expression unchanged.

“And why do you wish so badly to go there, despite not having a talent that can be cultivated?”

Hinata flinched.

“T-That’s...! I...” He hesitates, but he soon finds the words just spilling out. “I just want to be someone I can be proud of. Someone who can stand tall. Be confident. Be significant. Isn’t that what I deserve?”

“Isn’t that what everyone deserves?”

Hinata’s nails dig into his palms.

“I admire Hope’s Peak...more than anyone. I will give whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.” His teeth grit. “Whatever it takes... W-Whatever it takes...!”

Even though I know it’s selfish and impossible, I just...!

He just wanted to be someone. Someone other than...this.

Unimportant. Unremarkable. A faceless, meaningless part of the mass. The idea of being consumed by mediocrity and insignificance for the rest of his life, never to matter, never to even be remembered, just to disappear, just like he never even existed—

“I’ll do...w-whatever...it takes...” He’s shaking, eyes wide and crazed. “Whatever it takes... Whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.”

“Ah. I see.” An easy smile. And yet, the atmosphere felt so heavy that it was near suffocating. “Very well then, Hinata-kun. That’s exactly the kind of attitude we’re looking for.”

Hinata lit up.

“R-Really?” He dares to let hope slip into his tone. “D-Do you really mean it?”

A nod.

“Hinata-kun... If you could be reborn from the faceless body of a miserable nobody into the world’s hope... Would you?”

“That...sounds too good to be true...” His heart really was racing, but he was flushed with excitement. “But... Y-Yeah... I... Of course...”

“Then, allow me to tell you about how that can be possible. If you agree, you’ll be accepted into the school, free of charge, no talent necessary. In fact, it’s even essential that you be talentless.”

I...don’t understand.

He doesn’t understand but it just sounds so incredible that he can’t help but be swayed.

“...tell me.”

“Very well.”

A folder of files is placed before him. They look too important to grasp. And the stamped out letters of CONFIDENTIAL stare back into his wide-eyed, shimmering gaze.

Fingers trembling, Hinata actually slices his finger open as he flips it open.

He doesn’t even feel the sting, as engrossed as he is in the text.

“I...”

The words swirl around in his head, over and over until he drowns in them.

“Do you need time to think about it?” the other asks him kindly. So kindly that Hinata is struck cold. “Tell you what... You can still get into the reserve course. You don’t have to say yes right away, and the deadline will be in a few months from now. You can attend classes here until then...and then make your decision on whether or not you’re willing to stay. Okay?”

“I... O-Okay.” Hinata swallows. “That’s... I’m okay with that.”

I said I’d do anything. And I do...want to do anything. But...

His hands are shaking while still gripping the files.

I can’t...let this chance slip by...even if it’s something like this. This is everything I ever wanted. Why am I even hesitating?

“It’s alright,” the other says reassuringly, taking the files away with ease. “Hinata-kun, I know you’ll make the best decision for yourself.”

For...myself. Myself...

“I...yes.”

“I’ll have them send in your acceptance letter and uniform.” His hand is shook, the grip warm and calloused. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Hinata-kun.”

“A-A pleasure... Yeah.”

Just like that, Hinata was stumbling out of Hope’s Peak, trembling and falling to pieces with every shaky step.

I have to do it, he can’t help but think. I have to do it, for...for myself...

This was going to be the year his life changed irreparably. He was sure of it.

#thehinataproject #hajime hinata #hinata hajime #Magi fics #the hinata project #although it's not going to show up #I might as well #I'll probably have to message someone anyway #The tragedy of being muted

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capoftheship · 6 years

Text

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton

Rating: Mature

Words: 1121

Summary: Clint and Bucky are asigned on a mission together and found themselves in the roof as they survey the building across the street. Thanks to Clint's boredom they start talking about certain things that happened earlier that day.

_____________________________________________

They were both on a roof, the building they were scouting below them, across the street. They had perfect view off the 4 top floors, which was exactly what they wanted. The top floor was empty except for a few guarded men, the roof, fortunately, still didn't have anyone.

Barnes had the sniper pointed across and looked like he already was in bussiness to kill, even thought they were instructed to just observe for the time being. He had asked him an hour ago when he was taking the sniper out of his case what he was doing. He simply replied he felt more comfortable looking through it than any vinoculars that SHIELD provided them with.

Clint, on the other hand, was sitting with his back againts the wall leisurely spinning an arrow in his hand. Trying to pay as close attention to the movement across the window as his counterpart was.

Clint was patient, but he was bound to get bored after a few hours of waiting for something to happen. His mind started to wander to the situation they had found themselves in earlier today. He turned to the soldier beside him, taking in his tense posture, the focus on his eyes, the grip of the trigger in his hands, his finger ever so slightly relaxed against it.

Barnes had kissed him. It was an odd thought to form in his head. But it had happened. He couldn't even said he was mad about it, because he wasn't. He might be deaf, but he wasn't blind. Barnes was an attractive man, hell, he even fell into Clint's types. With his hair going to his shoulders, a stubble forming across a sharp jawline, wide back and strong arms, and the ability to bite back at Clint's pestering.

It was just a surprise. And Clint founded very few things surprising.

And thats why, against his better judgement, he decided to get an answer out of him.

"Can I ask you a question?" He set the arrow aside, only to grab the bow at the mast minute, not liking how it femt ro have his hands empty.

Barnes didn't make any sign that he heard him, but he continued anyway.

"Earlier today..." He stopped himself from tugging at the string of his bow. "What was that?"

"What was what?" Barnes asked back quickly without looking away.

And- was this even more surprising. He didn't knew what type of answer he was expecting, but this wasn't it. This type of dodging wasn't something he usually did. Barnes was direct and quick, specially when he had something more important to attend to. Which wasn't a surprise at all when Clint suddenly became much more interested in the answer.

"Come on, man. " He found himself with and amused smile tugging on the corner of his lips. "You don't believe I'm stupid enough to swallow that innocence." He stated.

"When asking vague questions, don't expect straight answers." There was twinge of annoyance in his voice, barely there. But it made Clint's smile turn wider.

"Fine..." He said, taking in at the way Barnes was definitely trying not to look at him. "Why did you kiss me then."

"It was an impulse."

"Really? The Winter Soldier, not being able to hold back an impulse? That's even worse than pretending to be naive." Barnes still refused to turn to him. Clint found out it was bugging him. "I deserve a better than that."

Barnes shifted, it was almost imperceptible. "Short answer; I wanted to." And Clint, well, he wasn't sure how to answer to that. He found his hand had stilled on his bow.

After a few moments waiting for him to continue, Clint realized maybe he wasn't. He bit the inside of his cheek, disatisfaction settling in the forefront of his nerves. He wanted more. Clint wasn't about to beg though, and even if he did, he was sure Barnes wouldn't budge unless he wanted too. But, as he was about to look away, Barnes started talking again.

"Long answer? I find you attractive. It isn't new either, you are, objectively speaking, an attractive man." He said matter-of-factly. Clint saw the strain on his neck. "But it didn't matter until rescently, were it has proven itself inconvinient now that we were paired together on this mission. It was becoming distracting. I thought maybe kissing you would disuade it."

Clint fought off the urge to lick his lips and instead turned away to look at the windows of the other building. There were less people on the 6th floor now, but a quick count of heads prooved they had moved to a floor higher.

He turned to Barnes agian, who was still very pointedly not looking at him and assessed his answer. He wanted to ask something else and before he could think it through, the words spilled out of his mouth.

"Did it work?" His voice sounded off with something he couldn't pinpoint.

He saw Barnes shift ever so slightly, his hand clenching the trigger just a tad tighter. Clint found himself wanting to hold his breath.

"No." And Barnes sounded off too. And Clint was going to break his bow if he didn't turn to look at him.

"What do you want, then?" And, fuck, Clint needed to stop proding about this if he didn't want to get decked. But there was something coiling, burning at the bottom of his stomach, and he couldn't ignore it.

Barnes froze for a second the fingers on the trigger clenching harder for just a moment before he let go. And finally, finally he turned to look at him

Clint supressed the shiver that threaten to run down his spine. Piercing blue eyes stared back, something was swimming dangerously behind them, daring to slip out, it felt as if it was challenging him, beckoning. He found himself unable to look away.

"I want to fuck you." It was barely a whisper, his voice had taken a deeper tone, and Clint was sure that if he was someone else, he wouldn't have noticed the slight strain coming from him. "I want to fuck you until you no longer remember how to speak." He elaborated.

Clints bow was definiteky going to break if he didn't let go of it now. And Clint was a goddamn spy and he still felt the tip of his ears redden. He allowed himself to lick his lips this time, the faint memory of Barnes taste still there.

Barnes tilted his head back an inch, a coy smile playing on his lips. "You blushed." He said before turning back to his sniper, as if this conversation hadn't just happened.

Clint blinked at the sudden change of his voicr, and gritted his teeth, cursing under his breath as he looked back to the task at hand.

"Fuck you." He threw at him and then regretted immediatly the choice of his words, repressing a groan at the small non-commital hum he got in return.

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Author's note: I just have this scene on my head an I had to write it down somewhere or I was about to explode. This will probably be part of a larger fic if I get motivated enough, but for the time being enjoy this shameless display of winterhawk sexual tension while they are on a mission.

#1k+#one shot #fanfic #fic #fan fiction #hawkeye #clint barton #the winter soldier #bucky barnes #winterhawk #clintbucky #marvel #ships #ust

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rosapeachhogwartsmystery · 6 years

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Why are you so nice to me? (Hogwarts Mystery Imagine - Reader x Merula Snyde)

Masterlist (To view my Masterlist, visit my Tumblr page)

Request: If it's ok I have a request for a fanfic of reader x Merula where the reader helps Merula with summoning her broom? (since she keeps hitting her face after all)

A/N: I hope this is what you were looking for ^^ I tried to make this imagine more gender neutral, so the reader and Rowan are referred as ‘they’.

Words: 2138

Pairing: Reader x Merula Snyde

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Merula was getting frustrated during Flying class. Sometimes she just wasn’t able to summon her broom well. She often glanced at your direction, but you seemed to be doing a lot better than she was doing. She hated it. She had her own broom, yet you could do it a lot better. You didn’t have your own broom for Merlin’s sake! When her broom hit her in the face again she scowled a bit. She began glaring when you looked at her. “Don’t you have anything better to do, Y/L/N?” She muttered. You rolled your eyes and began summoning your broom again. Merula cursed under her breath when she saw you managed to summon your broom. This was only your first year and you seemed to be doing well. Still, she wouldn’t let you become the better one without a fight. She would still try to sabotage you during potions, hoping Snape would let you fail. No, she couldn’t let you become the best witch at Hogwarts. She was the best witch. You were just Jacob’s younger sibling. You were just as mad as your brother, she was sure of that. There was no way she would let a lunatic become the best.

Merula frowned when she still couldn’t summon her broom. You began walking over to her and tilted your head. “Do you need some help?” You asked. She shot you another glare, feeling annoyed. “I don’t want your help.” She muttered. “Are you sure? It looks like you are struggling.” You said softly. “Go away, Y/L/N, before I will hex you.” She told you. “Y/N, come on. Merula doesn’t want your help.” Rowan said. You sighed and then you walked over to Rowan. Rowan just shook their head, wondering why you would try to help Merula. “You know, I could probably help her if she wasn’t so bloody stubborn.” You muttered softly, hoping she wouldn’t hear it. Rowan titled their head. “But why do you want to help her? She hates us.” They said. “I know, but perhaps she wouldn’t be so angry with us anymore if I help her.” You said. “You are way too optimistic. Merula doesn’t seem to like much people here. She scares most of the other first years.” Rowan told you. “I know, but I’m sure Merula could be nice as well if she just opens up a little.” You said with a grin.

Merula overheard you talking with Rowan and huffed. Did you honestly think she would become less angry with you if you help her out? You must be kidding! You must be really mad to be so naïve about such things! There was no way she would stop hating you. She would just mess a little with you, thinking it would be fun to prove you wrong. “So, you want to help me, Y/L/N? Do you honestly think you could teach me how to summon my broom?” She asked you when she approached you. Rowan began glaring at Merula. “Oh, please Khanna. I have seen scarier looks than that. Besides, this is something between Y/L/N and me, so shoo!” She said. Rowan shook their head and began walking over to Penny. You watched Rowan leave before you looked at Merula again. “You actually want my help? You just said you didn’t want it.” You said, raising an eyebrow. “Well, since you think you are a genius, I thought it would be interesting to see how you could teach me how to summon this stupid broom.” She said with a smirk.

You gave her a smile. “Well, let me help you then.” You said and then you stood beside her. “Just watch what I do.” You said when she showed her what you did to summon your broom. She watched you. Why did you seem to be so sincere when you tried to teach her? You actually were being nice to her, which was strange. She had been so mean to you, how could you act so nice to her? Did you honestly believe she could be nice if she opens up? You were definitely a strange one, that was for sure. You didn’t fear her like some other students, but you didn’t act that mean to her. You often just defended others. Maybe saying she could be nice as well meant you were trying to defend her as well. No! That is just stupid! You weren’t trying to defend her! You were probably just trying to make yourself look better than she was.

“You shouldn’t lean forward that much. Try to stand up a little straighter, only leaning in a little.” You said. “I’m not leaning forward that much!” Merula snapped. “You are. Here, let me help you.” You said when you began helping her stand straight. She jumped slightly when you touched her. “Why are you touching me?” She hissed. “I’m just helping with your posture.” You said and then you let her go. “There. This should be perfect.” You said with a smile. “Yeah, right.” She muttered sarcastically. “Come on, give it a try, Merula.” You said. She sighed and then she looked at her broom. “Up!” She said loud enough. She blinked when the broom actually went up. It didn’t even hit her face this time. No, she was actually holding the broom with the hand she was holding out. “Good job.” You said with a smile.

She looked a little baffled. You actually helped her… You managed to help her summon a broom. She wasn’t going to tell you that though. “Well, that’s great. I’m sure I could have done that without your help as well.” She huffed. You bit your lip slightly and then you nodded. “Sure, I suppose you would have.” You said before you walked away. What? You weren’t going to get angry with her for being so ungrateful? What was wrong with you? You should be angry with her! You did your bloody best to help her and she didn’t even thank you for it! She didn’t understand you at all. You had walked back to Rowan, who was looking at Merula. They muttered something like ‘She couldn’t even say thanks to you? That’s just disrespectful’. Merula slightly looked away when she bit her lip. Did she actually feel bad about this?

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Merula was getting furious. Even after being mean for such a long time, you still helped her! You were both in your fourth year now. Even though she did terrible things to her, she sometimes caught a smile from you that was directed at her. How could someone be so nice to her even though she didn’t feel like she deserved any of those smiles? It was driving her insane. Three years have passed and she still never thanked you for anything you helped her with. Nobody understood why you were being nice to her. Not even Barnaby, who used to be friends with her. Maybe she could just ask him why you would always help her when she needed it. She wanted to understand you, because just thinking about you drove her crazy. She quickly approached Barnaby in the Slytherin Common room and stood in front of him. Barnaby was confused, wondering why Merula wanted to approach him.

“Lee, could you explain why Y/L/N always tries to help me?” Merula asked. Barnaby blinked. “Because Y/N thinks you are nice?” He said. Merula was taken aback. “Excuse me, did you honestly say Y/L/N thinks I’m nice?” She asked confused. “Eh, yeah Y/N told me that.” He said. “Why?!” She yelled. “They think you are a good person inside and you try to hide that by being mean to others.” He said with a shrug. “I don’t know everything about it, because no one knows exactly why Y/N thinks that.” He said. “I’m going to talk to them…!” She muttered when she stormed off. Barnaby watched Merula storming off and shrugged before he began looking at his book about Magical Creatures. “Another attempt to read this page…” He mumbled to himself.

Merula was basically storming through the castle, looking for you. She needed to talk to you, because you just didn’t make any sense to her. She couldn’t get you out of her head as well. She wanted answers now. She began asking people around, because she had no clue where you could be. Maybe in the corridor to look for clues in your brother’s secret room? No, you weren’t there. Only one person she talked to knew where you were going. You were going towards the Training Grounds. She sighed and shook her head. That place still reminded her of the day you began helping her out. She thought about how you helped her with her posture to summon her broom. Bloody hell, she didn’t want to think about you, but she couldn’t help it! You were on her mind constantly and you felt like hitting herself. She didn’t want to be thinking about you all day. No, she really didn’t, because she thought it was sign of her liking you.

There you were, practicing spells against some dummies. She took a deep breath before she approached you. “Y/L/N!” She said. You blinked and then you turned around. You put your want away and tilted your head. “Merula? What are you doing here?” You asked. You began looking around a bit. “You aren’t going to ask me to duel you again, are you?” You asked. “No duelling this time.” She said, shaking her head. “Oh, that’s good.” You said with a smile. “Look, we need to talk.” She said seriously. “Sure, what do you want to talk about?” You asked, unsure why she would talk to you. She didn’t seem to be the type to have chat with you out of the blue, so it must be serious. “I want to talk about you, because it is bloody annoying.” She said. You chuckled softly. “What’s so funny, Y/L/N?” She hissed. “Sorry, but you always seem to think that everything involving me is annoying.” You said honestly, still grinning a bit.

“This is exactly the behaviour I’m talking about!” Merula yelled. You blinked a bit, because you could tell she was frustrated. “You, always giving me smiles, helping me out when I need it and not even getting angry with me whenever I’m mean to you, it’s driving me crazy!” She hissed, pointing her finger at you. “You want me to get angry with you?” You asked confused. “Yes! I mean, not because I’m asking but because I’m being mean to you! Why do you have to be so bloody nice to me all the time? I don’t deserve your kindness!” She yelled. “I think you deserve it.” You said. “Why?” She asked. “Because I think people aren’t very kind to you. I thought you might become kinder if I would be nice to you. I think behind that angry face is someone really nice.” You said. She blinked. Why would you say such a thing? “You must be mad to think that I’m a nice person!” She said. “Maybe I am mad, but I think you can be really nice if you want to.” You said.

Merula couldn’t hold herself back and basically tackled you on the ground. You blinked when she was staring at you from above. She was really pissed and couldn’t stand it. You were so nice to her, she couldn’t just ignore you. She suddenly pressed her lips against yours, roughly kissing you. You were surprised, but you began kissing her back. She slowly pulled away and looked down at you. “Bloody hell, Y/L/N… I think you have really driven me mad…” She muttered. “In a really good way though.” You said. She blinked. “You actually enjoyed it?” She asked surprised. “Yeah, I did. I mean, I already liked you, so getting a kiss from you is really nice.” You told her. She was baffled. “You like me? Romantically I mean?” She asked. You nodded. “Yeah, for a little while now. I mean, I guess I began having this crush on you during our third year.” You said. “Shut up and kiss me.” She muttered before she kissed you again.

People didn’t understand how you and Merula began dating, but you didn’t care what they thought. You were happy and she slowly seemed to open up more as well. It was definitely a win-win situation. Still, you needed to convince your friends Merula was all right and you knew it would be hard to convince them. Just because you could see something good in Merula, didn’t mean they would see it too. You would just have to be patient and hope they would understand. You definitely felt happy and you could tell she was happy too. You definitely weren’t going to let her go.

#harry potter hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mobile game #hogwarts mystery imagine #harry potter imagine #imagine #reader #merula snyde #reader x merula snyde #rowan khanna #barnaby lee #gender neutral

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outside-of-my-box · 6 years

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Life is full of surprises, everyone knows that. But there are a few universal truths even the most skeptical refuse to dispute. The sun rises in the east. Death. Gravity. Taxes….and a man pursued by Endeavor is a man already in chains.

The current no. 1 hero had an irrefutable record of success. ‘Endeavor will catch his criminal’ and ‘water is wet’ score the same on the cosmic truth scale and it is this fact that keeps the general public tolerant of the other inarguable truths that surround him.

Endeavor is an ass. Endeavor is a bully. Endeavor has nothing even close to a bedside manner. Endeavor always plays to win.

And if there is one true golden rule. A law of nature that trumps all other physical and theoretical laws…it would be this

Never. Ever stand between Endeavor and his prize.

Man, woman, child, building, river, ocean wide…there are no immovable objects to the unyealding force that is the Flame Hero Enji Todoroki.

“Shit. Sorry man.”

The problem with universally recognized laws of nature…

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!”

…Is that scientifically speaking nothing is ever true…

“Eh. Thats the problem with ice you know…its kinda slippery”

…Things are simply not yet proven false.

“who the hell do you think you are?!”

“Oh, the name’s Mika Hammonds and on behalf of the Yagi Hero Agency I extend my deepest- “

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The building was small and quaint…less like an office and more like the home of a family man with a respectable job and a reasonable paycheck. If it were not for the small sign out front no one would suspect it for what it was.

Funny enough the same could be said of the man currently standing just outside its simply iron gates. Both building and boy where attractive in a way that actively prevented them from standing out. Sweet, inviting face and open posture. Small, but graceful in stature. Large green eyes that seemed to positively sparkle with life and a healthy dusting of freckles like cinnamon on a morning latte. His strangest feature was his hair. It was an unusual shade, almost black from most viewpoints. However, when the light caught a stray strand or the sun danced full force above one could finally see the truth. Like a diamond illuminated by a perfectly placed glow his soft curls and gentle waives lit up a deep earthly green, like a forest at sunrise. An emerald in the rough.

Not that this sort of thought had ever even begun to cross the mind below the messy tussle of hair. No. The word that came to mind…that had always come to mind…when someone was asked to describe Midoriya Izuku in a single phrase…was plain. He took no issue with this. It was just true. Like the sun. Like gravity. Like taxes.

But to Midoriya Izuku the building he now stood before was anything but. To him it was a palace. A beacon of light. Sacred, hollowed ground he still wasn’t convinced he deserved to enter. But enter he did. With one scarred and shaking hand he gripped the cold metal of the gate and took the first steps into his destiny. Any sensation he had felt in his 3 years at U.A. paled in comparison to now. A week ago he has stood on a stage in front of gods and men alike to receive what had once been the fever dream of a small quirkless child.

He had cried then. Unashamed and unbridled tears of joy and relief and wonder. Tears that did not stop as he held hands with his classmates and announced themselves to the world for the very first time as heros. Tears he had shared with many as he wrapped his arms around familiar forms and traded promises to keep in touch. To not forget. Tears of pain and sorrow as he watched his brothers and sisters each, one by one, turn and walk out of the gates for what was both a first and a final time until only one remained…until they had been alone.

He shook his head, attempting to chase the bittersweet from his mind. His eyes were dry now but the feeling in his chest was the same as he reached out and pressed the doorbell with fire in his soul and determination in his face.

Nothing happened. He pressed it again and stood back. Waiting. Nothing. He began to fidget as his resolve began to slip. Doubt crept in slowly. Was he early? Was he late?! Was this the wrong address? Had they reconsidered? By the time the door opened Midoriya was half way into a panic attack with the image of the office staff hunkered down under desks and behind plants as they quietly prayed the nuisance of a rejected sidekick would just leave already.

But open the door did to reveal a woman about the same height as he was. Her attention was on something behind her as she shot a half annoyed half teasing remark over her shoulder. In her hand she held two large trash bags full of what could only be assumed was trash.

“Alright! Im doing it, no need to nag. God this is why I hate when you come to visit – oh!”

It was evident that whatever she had expected to find on the large covered porch beyond the door she had just opened it was not an attractive young man in a cotton t-shirt and slacks awkwardly picking at the strap of a gym bag slung over his shoulder and a large rolling suitcase at his feet.

“Can I help you?” she had a kind, musical voice and an accent that was undoubtably American. She punctuated her question with a quisical cock of her head, like a dog trying to pick up the sound of a fox in the brush. It was a tick he would come to know very well in the coming months as proof of her formidability but for now the almost childlike quality of it stilled his fraying nerves. The sharpness of her eyes however, a blue so cold and light he almost shivered involuntarily, did nothing to still his pounding heart.

“I’m..um..My name is Midoriya Izuku- Deku. Im the hero Deku. Im supposed to start..um…today” He almost winced. Talking to girls, particularly attractive older woman, had never been something he was particularly adept at. And the color of her eyes where just a little to intimate not to conjure up ill timed memories…Though she did have one more than he was used to.

Suddenly, like clouds parting over a frozen lake, her eyes warmed into the calm sea surrounding some tropical paradise. She smiled wide and giggled. It wasn’t a laugh, lacking the adult-like restraint the word demanded…it was a genuine sound of joy and amusement usually reserved for small children and silly girls. It made Izuku smile despite the emotional whiplash the last few moments had been.

“Oh shit, really?!” his smile faltered a bit so she clarified “I didn’t realize that was today. Welcome Welcome!”

She took a step forward and embraced him. So taken aback by the action was Midoriya that he simply stood there and allowed it to happen. Had she been a classmate or a woman his mother’s age he would have expected it but this woman was maybe 4 or 5 years older than he was. Possibly less. Hes head swam. He could count on one hand the number of times he had been this close to a woman he wasn’t related to…

“Who-Mika!” All Might saves the day once more as his small, thin frame appears behind the creature currently assaulting his physical and mental space. She let him go and half turned with a clear ‘what?!’ written across her face. “At least put down the trash!”

Two pairs of eyes blinked at him, confused. Then in unison both looked down at the bags still clutched in her hands.

“Oh. Oh my…” her face flushed red as she very carefully placed the bags down beside the door as if they where filled with something very precious or very volatile. She turned back to Midoriya with a look of horror so over the top he had to restrain a smile. “I am so sorry! So sorry. I cant even- I promise its just papers and stuff. Not that that really makes it better. But I mean…”

She shook her head and picked up the bags again and without saying anything else carefully stepped around him and began down the walk towards the street.

“Where are you going?! The trash it around the side.” All Might called as he came to stand beside his protégé. “Mika!”

“Im going to take it down to the dumpster. Maybe throw myself in front of a bus.” She paused and turn around as she got to the gate. “Oh, It was very nice to meet you Midoriya Izuku!”

As green eyes, full of confusion and bewilderment, followed her hasty exit the boy allowed his former teacher and mentor to usher him inside with a laugh. And so their first meeting had concluded. A strange, awkward and all around unimpressive encounter between two unknown and seemingly mundane individuals. Despite all of this however, this odd collision between strangers would mark the beginning of something far more prodigious…more breathtaking…more dangerous than anyone involved could have possibly imagined.

#my hero academia #midoriya izuku #bnha #this story has no name #or planning #i dont know what im doing #all might #im not a writer #just a very good liar #fic #Mika is mine #endeavor #todoroki enji

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socialoutsiderwritings · 7 years

Text

Only Forever

A/N: based off of Demi Lovato’s song ONLY FOREVER because every time I hear it I feel some typa way.

Warnings: Language , Smut (NSFW 18+) Practice safe sex , kiddos.

16 YRS Old

Y/N watches as he downs his shot before bending down over the table , lining up the pool stick with the cue ball. She loved the way his eyebrows furrowed and how his tongue would peak out of his mouth when he was focused. She smiled to herself when he raised his arms up in excitement after making his shot. “Your turn , princess.” He smiled. She felt the slight burning on her cheeks , blushing. She downed her shot and bent over lining up her pool stick with the cue ball , ready to take her shot. “Wait.” Her eyes follow him as he gets up from his spot and over to her. He stands behind her , one hand positioning her elbow at the right angle. The other holding his weight on the edge of the pool table as he lowers himself down. She can feel his hot breath blowing on her ear. Her body stiffens as she feels his entire body on her backside. “Relax.” He whispers. She does as she’s told. “Ok. Now take your shot. Not too hard.” She takes a deep breath , pulling the stick back several inches before striking the cue ball , softly but with enough power , and making her ball in. She grins widely as she straightens her posture. “Its all in the elbow.” He says , tapping his elbow. She laughs , shaking her head softly at his antics. “We’ve got the 8 ball left.” Pointing at the black ball on the table. “Lets make this interesting.” He smiles , devilishly. “Winner gets to ask for whatever they want. Loser pays the tab.” She rolls her eyes, “Thats not fair. You know i’ve suck at this game.”

“I know. Maybe this will give you enough motivation to not suck.” He shrugs. “I’ll be nice enough to let you go again. 3 chances to make the ball.” She thinks it over a minute before sticking her hand out , “You’ve got yourself a deal , bub.” He chuckles as he grabs her hand giving it a quick shake. She focuses as she takes her first shot and misses. She looks over at him and he shrugs. She positions herself in front of the cue ball again. She takes a deep breath and takes her shot. Fail. The pool stick goes over the cue ball and her head falls low, mentally cursing herself. “It’s alright , Princess. Hmm...? What do I want , what do I want?” She lifts her head up to glare at him as he playfully taps his chin. “I still have one shot left , asshole.” She says as she walks over to the other side of the pool table. She lowers herself down , calculating her last shot. She gives herself an assuring nod as she positions herself one last time. She takes in a deep breath , and shoots. Her mouth drops as the ball moves closer and closer to the corner pocket. She brings her hands up in midair , ready to shoot them up and celebrate her victory when suddenly the ball stops. “WHAT?!” She yells. He comes over to her , laughing. “Better luck next time , kiddo.” He ruffles her hair , and bends down over the table making his last shot with ease. “That doesnt count.” She pouts , fixing her hair. “Of course it does.” He smiles , proudly. She rolls her eyes as she digs in to her front pockets , pulling out 40$. “Not so fast. Winner goes first.” He smiles. She rolls her eyes , waiting for whatever ridiculous thing he’s going to ask for. Swear ,if he asks me for my friend’s number again I’m gonna- ”What is your deepest darkest secret.?” He interrupts her thoughts. “What?” She raises an eyebrow at his question. “You heard me. “ he slowly walks towards her. “I see the way you look at me when you think i’m not looking.” He stands just a few feet away from her , reaching out , placing his hands on her waist. “I feel the way you tense up when I’m near you.” He pulls her towards him. “The way you blush when I call you Princess.” He brings a hand up to caress her cheek. Her breathing becomes ragged as she gazes up in to his eyes. “The way you feel about me. That’s your deepest darkest secret isnt it? I want to know.”

“How can you be so sure , it is?” She challenges , causing him to smirk. “We wont know until you say it.” He drops his hands from her body and begins to back away slowly. She grabs both of his wrists stopping him. “I love you.” She blurts. “I’m sorry what was that?” He raises his hand up to his ear , smiling , messing with her. She playfully smacks him and he places his hands on her waist again , looking down at her. “I said,” she rests her wrists on his shoulders , as her thumbs gently trace his jaw, “I love you. Forsythe Pendleton Jones the second.”

He smirks. “Well guess what , Y/F/N. I love you , too.” She smiles , and he brings himself down to kiss her. He pulls away “Just so we’re clear , this isnt a best friend type of ‘I love you’ right?” “No.” She giggles. “Ok , good.” He smiles , and she raises herself up on her tippy-toes to kiss him again.

18 YRS OLD

“Do you really have to go?” She whines. She looks up at him from where she sat on the bench. “Even if I didnt want to, its too late , i’m already here.” They were both waiting for the bus to take FP to the airport. She looks over at the backpack next to her. The only things he owned , stuffed inside. She pulls the pamphlet from the side pocket , opening it. “Of all the other things you could have done. You chose the Army?” She sighs , stuffing the pamphlet back inside. “If it gets me outta this town. I’m up for it.” He slides the backpack over to the other side and he takes a seat next to her. “I’ll be back. Eventually. If I dont die.” She rolls her eyes as he chuckles. “It’s just bootcamp. I’ll be gone for at least 6 months. No biggie.”

“Cant you take me with you?” She grabs on to his arm , shaking it slightly. “C’mon , kid.” He brings a hand up to remove her grip on his arm. “You’ll be alright. I promise to call you. And when I cant call. I promise to write. You just gotta remember not to forget about me.” He winks. He grabs his backpack , slipping the strap over his shoulder as the bus begins to pull up. “Like I would ever forget you.” She sighs. He gives her a quick kiss on the forehead before walking up to the bus. “Remember.” He calls back to her. She nods and watches him board. She stops the tears from falling as she watches the bus take the love of her life away for 6 months.

As the months pass , FP’s contact with Y/N went from constant to every once in a while. She reread his letters over and over when he didn’t call. She would write to him when she didn’t receive a new letter. She missed him , and just wanted to know if he missed her too. When the 6th month was finally up , He called her to tell her he wouldn’t be coming back. Not for another three years at least. He had signed up to do some work in South Korea. He sounded so happy , she couldnt tell him how much it killed her. So she smiled , congratulated him and told him she couldnt wait to see him in three years. He thanked her and promised to bring back a souvenir or two for his best girl.

21 YRS OLD.

She hugged her jacket closer to her as she sat at the same bus stop she watched the love her life leave. She was the only one there. She wished she had brought a bigger , thicker jacket. It was freezing. The sun was barely rising. FP called her to tell her he was coming home and she was the first person he wanted to see. She quickly stood up as she watched the bus pull up and stop. Her heart began to beat faster. She scanned the crowd of people piling out , hoping he would be one of them. She began to sit back down when she didnt see him but stopped. “That’s the hello imma get?” She smiled brightly and ran over to him. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around him as he caught her. “Oh my God. I missed you.” She can feel the tears forming in her eyes and quickly wiped them away before bringing herself down. “Oh my God.” She stepped back as she took him in. He got bigger. He had muscles , not too big but just enough to reveal themselves thru his clothing whenever he moved. His hair was a little longer , he had it slicked back and he had facial hair. “You look-“ “Amazing. I know.” He smiled. She playfully rolled her eyes at him. “Come on. How about we go to the Whyte Wyrm and celebrate. Its on me.” She smiled , leading him to her car. “If its on you...might as well.” He joked.

22 YRS OLD

“Happy Birthday to you,” the whole bar sang as FP walked to her, carrying a huge cake in his hands. The gang had finished singing as FP set the cake down on the pool table , lighting the candles one by one. “I wasn’t gonna risk dropping it and setting the whole place on fire.” He whispered to her. She laughed and thanked him for the gesture. “Make a wish , Princess.” He smiled. She closed her eyes , I wish for you FP , she inhaled deeply and exhaled all the air she had , blowing out the candles. Everyone cheered as she kept her eyes fixated on him. The night was going smoothly , she was sat at the bar downing the drinks her friends had bought for her. Her breathing became ragged , as she spot FP on the other side of the bar. His arm around a pretty blonde , he leaned down to say something in her ear and she threw her head back , laughing. Her heart shattered. She wanted to look away. But she couldn’t. She watched as he flirted with her , caressed her cheek , made her laugh , made her blush , doing anything to make sure he had her in the palm of his hand. She had enough. She finally turned her back to them , asking the bartender for 2 more shots. As he placed them in front of her , she drank them , with no hesitation. She pushed herself off the stool and made her way to the bathroom. She splashed some water on her face , trying to cool herself down as she felt her face burning. Maybe I had too much too drink. She leaned over the sink and looked at herself in the mirror. Ugh , you idiot. He didn’t want you back then , what makes you think he wants you now? Just move on , girl. She shook her head. Yup. One too many shots. She gave herself a quick little once over in the mirror before walking out. She scanned the bar looking for FP. When she didn’t spot him she looked for the blonde he was with. She was nowhere to be seen either. “If you’re looking for hotshot , he left.” She turned around to see who was talking. She didn’t recognize him. When she didn’t respond he continued to say, “He was in a rush to get that pretty blonde outta here. You his girl?” She shook her head. “I don’t know if I should say too bad for him or just my luck.” He smiled. She eyed him suspiciously as he walked closer to her. “I’m Eric.” He smiled , holding his hand out to her. She gave him a small smile , before taking his hand in hers , “Y/N.” “Ah , the birthday girl.” She nodded. “So tell me , birthday girl , would you like to get outta here?”

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She woke up the next morning , her head pounding. She got off her bed , rubbing her eyes and going out towards her kitchen. She glanced over at Eric who was asleep on her couch , shirtless. She remembered him taking her to Pop’s for a late dinner and coming back to her trailer , falling asleep instantly. She didn’t want to wake him just yet , so she continued towards her kitchen and prepared herself a cup of coffee. “Good Morning.” FP yells as he bursts thru her front door. “In the kitchen.” I should remember to lock it. As if he read her mind , FP closes the door, “still forgetting to lock this thing huh?” He asks , walking in and taking a seat at her table. “Coffee?” She asks , not waiting for him to answer as she grabs another mug from her cupboard. “Who’s the guy?” He gestures towards Eric. She glances over to him as she reaches the table , surprised he’s still asleep after all the noise FP made , as she set a coffee mug in front of FP and taking a seat across from him. “Eric.” She blows on your coffee before taking a sip. “You bringing strangers in to your home now?” She looks at FP confused , he was angry , but trying to hide it. “He’s not a stranger.” “Whered you meet him?” “At the bar?” “Huh.” Is all he said as he sips his coffee. “You taking strangers home?” She traces the rim of the mug with her finger. “I can take care of myself. You cant.” He says. She scoffs at his answer. “Meaning?” “Meaning ... you cant be bringing guys over. You never know. They might rob you , assault you , or even kill you.” She watches as he sips his coffee again. “Thats rich. Coming from a guy who constantly takes women back to his trailer.” He sets his coffee down. “I can defend myself. You can’t.” “Are you so sure about that? Maybe he did try something.” FP clenches his jaw. “He’s probably dead on my sofa.” They both avert their attention towards Eric as he groans , stretching himself out on the couch. “Good morning.” She calls as he sits up. She notices FP roll his eyes from the corner of her eye. “Morning.” He rubs his eyes. “What time is it?” He grabs his shirt from the floor , slipping it on. “Time for you to go home.” FP snarls. She waves him off, “Don’t mind him. It’s 10 to 1. You want some coffee?” “Nah. He’s right.” He stands up from the couch after putting his shoes on. “I should get going.” He walks closer ,grabing his jacket from the counter and walks over to her. “Thanks for the offer tho. I had a great time.” He smiles. “So did I. I’ll catch you later?” “Definitely.” He kisses the top of her head before heading out the front door. She notices FP glaring at her. “What?” She asks , annoyed. “Did you fuck him?” “What?” “Did you fuck him?” “No! I did not fuck him! Are you insane?” She stands up from her chair. He doesn’t say anything. “Who do you think you are? I don’t go around asking you if you’ve fucked other people?” She begins pacing in the small kitchen, muttering nonsense to herself. FP watches her for a couple minutes before standing up and walking over to her. She finally stops pacing with her back towards him. He wraps his arms around her waist. She tries to wiggle herself out of his grasp , but he doesn’t budge. “I’m sorry.” He whispers. She stops fidgeting. “I got jealous. I just cant stand the fact of someone else touching you.” Her body tenses up as he brushes his lips from her neck up to her ear. “They way I’ve been wanting to touch you.” Her head falls back on to his chest as he whispers in her ear. He unwraps his arm from her waist , bringing them down to her thighs and up the inside of her oversized tshirt. Goosebumps rise on her skin at his soft touch as gently grazes his fingers up her sides. “Say it.” He whispers again , gently biting her ear. She whimpers , and his hands continue softly touching her body making their way to cup her breasts. He gently squeezes them and she moans. “Say it.” He says. She’s about to say it when memories of him flirting with the blonde flash thru her mind. She removes his hands from her breasts and turns to face him. “Stop it.” She tries to control her shaky voice. “Stop what?” “Stop this.” She gestures between them. “You’re just going to fuck me again. And leave. Like all those other times.” She swallows down the lump in her throat. Stay strong. Don’t cry. Keep your foot down. “You’re gonna use the same excuse. That you’re not ready.” She feels the tears forming in her eyes and quickly looks down. FP’s shoes come in to view. He cups her face , raising her head up to look at him. his eyes search every part of her face , taking her in. She cant take her eyes off him , but she knows she has to , she cant let him hurt her again. She closes her eyes , bringing her hands up to remove his hands from her face but before she can he crashes his lips on to hers. She doesn’t move at first , when she feels him pull away , she grabs the back of his neck pulling him back in. Their lips move in sync , she removes her hands from his neck and down to his shirt , she pulls it up and FP removes himself from her so she can pull it off before bringing his lips back to hers. She tosses his shirt to the side and brings her hands back to his neck softly dragging her nails down his back , making him moan. She smiles to herself , she loved the sounds he made. She drags her hands around to his front , unbuckling his belt , then unbuttoning his jeans. He lifts her up , sitting her on the counter. “Say it.” He says , pulling his pants down along with his boxers. She watches him , intensely , as he does so. “Say it.” He says , dominantly. He lifts her shirt up and pulls down her panties. He pulls her down to the edge of the counter , lining himself up at her entrance. “Say it.” “I love you.” She exhales. He slowly pushes himself in , and her mouth falls open in pleasure. He wraps an arm around her , keeping her steady as he slowly thrusts himself in and out. “FP.” She moans. He picks up his pace. He slams the cupboard above her with his free hand , as he thrusts faster. “Yes.” She moans , again and again. Feeling herself closer to her climax. “I’m so close.” He grunts in response , slowing his pace and thrusting harder. “Fuck.” She gasps. She grips his shoulders as she reaches her climax , burying her face in his neck. “Fuck.” He exhales as he finishes. He helps her down and she leans back on to the counter , her legs weak. He pulls his pants up , buttoning his jeans. “I love you.” She says as she caresses his cheek. He brings his hand up over hers , closing his eyes , melting in to her touch. “I love you.” He says back. “Do you mean it?” “ I always mean it.” He says kissing the palm of her hand. Just as she expected , he’s pulling his shirt over his head and heading out the door. Leaving her alone , like he’s done many times before.

3 MOS Later

“Can I come in?” He asks. She just wanted to slam the door in his face. After that day she hasn’t talked to him. Whenever they were at the same place he would leave , and he was never alone. He was either with the same blonde or someone different. He was purposely avoiding her. And she hated it, but accepted it. She called Eric earlier that night and met up with him at the Whyte Wyrm. She was having fun. She got a little too flirty with him and FP noticed. He watched as she placed a hand on his thigh , leaning in to whisper sweet nothings in to his ear. His knuckles turning white as he gripped the pool stick tighter as his anger bubbled inside him. After watching him place his hands on her waist and leaning in to kiss her he had enough. He marched over to them , punching Eric. He fell out of his stool and she pushed FP away and knelt down to help him. Eric pinched his nose to stop the bleeding , gently shoving Y/N away. “I dont know what you two have going on. But I cant be seeing you anymore.” Eric tells Y/N as he gets up , heading towards the bathroom. Outraged , Y/N slaps FP in the face. “I hate you.” She spits. And thats what brought FP here tonight. He didn’t want her to hate him. “Please.” He pleads. She sighs as she moves aside allowing him to come in. He takes a seat on the couch and Y/N follows suit , leaving a big space between them. “I don’t know what happened tonight.” He begins. Y/N rolls her eyes , “I do. You got jealous. You just want me to be yours without you being mine and it’s not fair. You say you love me. And if you do why don’t we just give us-“ “She’s pregnant.”He interrupts “W-what? Who?”Shocked. She can feel her heart breaking as she waits for him to answer, “The blonde. She called me a couple days ago to tell me. Then she showed up at my trailer with the tests to show me she wasnt lying.” She couldn’t believe it. She blinks rapidly a few times , processing the information , “What are you gonna do?” He scratches his head, “I don’t know. She wants to keep it but.” He sighs. “But what?” She wants him to continue. “I’m not ready.” He admits. She grabs his hand , squeezing it gently , “Its ok. I’ll be here for you. I promise. But you have to be there for her and your child.” He gives her a small smile , “ I love you.” “I love you,too.”

She kept her promise. She’s been with him every step of the way. Giving him advice , picking out clothes for his son , making sure he had everything he needed. Most nights he’d stay with her after their intimate moments, which she enjoyed because she got to have him around more. But as the months grew closer for his son to be born his nights were spent at his trailer with her , leaving Y/N alone again. She would never admit to him how much it hurt , and she didn’t want to ruin his chance at a family , no matter how badly she wanted it to be with her.

24 YRS Old

Y/N found herself laying next to FP again. He had been coming over after the birth of his son , saying how stressful it was raising a child. But as his son grew older , the easier it got but that didnt stop him from coming over. Talking sometimes led to arguing about him playing with Y/N’s feelings which led to him reeling her back in with “I love you” that led to one thing and the other and always ended up with them in bed together. Y/N knew she was torturing herself , but she loved him. She laid on his chest as he played with her hair. “I’m gonna ask her to marry me.” He says. She quickly shoots up off his chest and stares at him. “What?” “She’s raising my kid.” He begins to sit up. “And I love him.” “Ok.” She states. “But do you love her?” He doesn’t respond. She scoffs as she gets up off the bed to get dressed. “Dont act like that.” He says , getting up and getting dressed as well. “Like what?” She retorts. “Like you didn’t see this coming.” She slowly turns to face him , angry. “Excuse me?” She asks slowly. “I told you everything. Its not like I kept you in the dark.” “I know that. And i’m sorry if I just cant handle it anymore.” She spits. “Handle what?” He raises his voice. “This!” She yells , she’s not gonna hold back anymore. “You. Just coming around whenever you want. Sleeping with me. Telling me you love me. And then leaving. Finding other women to sleep with.” “I told you I wasn’t ready for a relationship.” He starts. “With strangers! You said you werent ready to start a relationship with someone new. I’m not new! I’ve been your best friend for years. Ive never held it against you because I love you and I respected your decision. But this is too much. I tried moving on because I know I will never have you the way I want. But youre always there and you do shit that makes me think maybe this time you’ll come around.” He walks up to her and reaches up to wipe the tears away but she smacks his hand away. “Don’t do that. Don’t all of a sudden care about my feelings because i’m crying.”

“I dont all of a sudden care.” He says , softly. “I’ve always cared because.. I love you.” She lets out a sob as she shakes her head. “You say you love me. But you dont..you just love having me around. But my love for you was - is so strong I put up with it because I just wanted you. And I wish I could hate you. For everything. But I really hate myself , because after admitting all of this , I would still wait forever for you.” FP stands there , staring at her , watching her cry. He doesn’t say anything , he doesnt know what to say. She turns away from him as she begins to wipe her tears away. “I want you to leave.” She says. “Y/N-“ he pleads. The desperation in is voice just makes her want to turn around and hug him. But she doesnt. “I want you leave.” She repeats. She holds in her tears as she listens to his footsteps getting softer as they retreat out of her room. When she hears the front door close , she crawls back in to bed , sobbing. Not because he left , because she knows , if he comes knocking on her door tomorrow , or in three days , or 5 months , or even 17 years from now , she’ll accept him with open arms no matter what. Because her love for him would last forever.

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