volfoss · 1 year ago
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hiii meow 🔥
i am going to give u a guy that would be obscure even if volfoss was popular bc people hate old man cunt serve or whatever
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this is frokiston and he has every disease. i havent seen a ton of him yet (so this will not be long which i think is for the best. but he has a lot of the ummm. features that aki and from what i understand of astarion have which is why i think you'll like him). hes basically the leader of Ikuaipe (which. quick pause to get into politics before i continue. because unfortunately its important and the politics do tie into him due to his position in society). the map is there to well. hopefully help it be easier to understand the politics im so sorry (and also because his head is kind of cut off like this. jumpscare of old man face)
so. volfoss politics 101: three big countries: ikuaipe, asdenia, and caldealand. asdenia and ikuaipe are at war by the time you hit act 2 over the fact that asdenia basically stopped exporting rare metals that ikuaipe used for drugs (for like. no reason rly but its been VERY shitty for ikuaipe bc they either have to smuggle it over or experience very bad withdrawal symptoms) and depending on what route you take (there are 5: asdenia, caldealand, ikuaipe, good, and bad), the war itself is properly started/furthered due to differing events (a monster in one, frokiston's seeming kidnapping in other. we will circle back to that). one of the really nice things abt volfoss is how even when you take one of the country's sides, you'll still see the other country (and in a sympathetic light too. like theres nuance there basically). the political structure of each nation is different (so like. with caldealand, theres a prime minister, king and queen; asdenia has weird shit going on where its like? the arch priest seems to kind of be leading or somewhat. its weird man idk. and ikuaipe has frokiston as the king, gust as like his evil inventor or whatever and veycer under him as the lead of the military. this is all important im so fucking sorry. there will not be a quiz at the end)
you have made it OUT of the politics section and now i can talk about him as a character. he's very interesting to me due to his self sacrificing natures (which is why i immediately thought of him when you sent an ask in). the two most prominent examples is in the ikuaipe route, when the war starts (or is about to), he puts himself in risk to go talk to Tiece (who's the archpriest of asdenia) (this journey is like. the entire length of the world. ill toss a map in above to help keep all this straight and also to show for reference why this man is making a VERY dangerous sacrifice), all because he just doesn't want the war to start. literally EVERYONE is like hey. this is a really dumb idea. dont do this. and he just is insistent bc its for the good of the country. i kind of hesitate to be like oh found family moment bc thats not really the case, but he's very much a figure that veycer can look up to and someone who veycer turns to before he leaves, because NEITHER of them want this war really. but frokiston is level headed but is there for veycer as he's coming to terms with the fact that the war may be necessary in order to get the rare metals in order to help their citizens. and then um well. he gets kidnapped/disappears shortly after this (on this route at least. idk about the 3 routes i havent done/the rest of this route) and that is enough for veycer to basically kickstart the war into high gear, as he assumes asdenia did SOMETHING to him and would do anything to get him back. and i think um well if you think about the tragedies and all w aki. that the parallels are there.
we are onto part TWO of the self sacrificing natures. when on the asdenia route, he's the final boss. also he has had body modifications here. unclear as to what they are but it could be really anything. tossing that light hearted fact in before i hit you with the horrors. into the horrors now though :3 so all through the asdenian route, you see veycer kind of butting heads with frokiston on this because frokiston does NOT want this war. he will do anything for peace but eventually it gets to the point where he realizes it has to happen. and hes very upset about this bc its painted as veycer is a bit more supportive of the war happening, and frokiston just kind of like. being there and being kind of miserable about it for a bit because he really can't do anything (as we see in the ikuaipe route, its not really safe for him to leave the capital, so he's just stuck there).
but the self sacrificing point comes after you beat him. he pretty much says that ikuaipe has no future now, and shows gratitude towards shalvas for being a good fight at the end of his life. and here is when we start to see the self sacrificing tendencies RAMP up. directly from my summary bc well. "He pleads with Shalvas to finish him off and then he will show his body to everyone. His plan is that if they do that, Veycer and the others will stop fighting. Frokiston wants no more lives to be sacrificed." He literally fully believes that showing his body will stop everyone because the fact that their leader was defeated would make everyone just. stop. Sheala (who's one of the Ikuaipe army commanders. she's great you'd love her) is also there, and he is SO relieved to see her because it does genuinely seem like he cares about them (veycer and sheala are siblings) a lot and worries about them. one of the higher up people in ikuaipe (turi-marrya. sorry there are a million names. shes important and u would love her ok. i promise) is the only one who can really persuade him that he shouldn't throw his life away for this, and sheala has to basically persuade him that he's the only one who can stop gylor (leader of the asdenia military) and veycer from continuing to fight. Turi has to pretty much beg Frokiston to live, and again from my notes:
"Frokiston pauses to think for a very long time, before finally saying “...I… Maybe I was trying to escape from death by embellishing my words beautifully. Should I make amends? It is very sensible to think of it that way.” Turi says his name and he finally comes to a decision, saying that they need to go to Veycer right away, and that after that, both he and Veycer will formally declare their surrender. Turi replies, “Bless your courage, Your Excellency Frokiston.” He rejects that, believing that if he looks brave, it is because of Turi. Frokiston feels encouraged due to the lack of doubt in Turi’s words."
but i think his interactions w veycer and sheala are so interesting, and especially turi. like shes a very blunt person and cannot hide her emotions well, and that being reassuring for him, that she knows for sure that he can help. its very interesting to me (read: typing this up made me get 5 million times worse about the characters)
he's also just kind of like. a silly guy at times. he goes to the tournament earlier in the game, and Gust has invented some like. super fast powered transporter. and is sure using frokiston as a test dummy for it (objectively funny of gust like. hes like well um ^-^ it functions but this was the test run) and hes just like completely ok with it and thought it was fun. i do not know all of his deals and issues yet but i think the position hes in and his diseases would appeal to you :3 and SOMEONE needs to fuck that old man (or something idk.)
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mortuarywriting · 7 months ago
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Falling into Place
Ao3 Link - [First] - [Next Chapter ->]
All things considered this isn't what you were expecting to wake up to when you went to bed. One minute you're on your phone, trying to pass out, and the next? You're here. You've had some interesting greetings in your life, but dropping about six feet and having twelve guns leveled at your face? That takes the cake
Warnings:
Reader Insert, Plus-Size Reader, The Author Regrets Everything, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Isekai, canon divergence Look we're gonna dig into the implications of omegasverse changing bits and pieces of history as well as addressing whatever the FUCK is happening as CoD's history. Idk man Godzilla is canon and nobody bats an eye at that fact and you think I'm gonna be normal about that? No
You could be having a worse day, you think, as you stare at the interrogation table you're cuffed to. They could've shot you the second you fell the six feet from the sky into a random army base. That's a very real thing that could've happened.
But no, you just had a dozen guns pointed at you in one moment and a slew of questions you didn't have satisfying answers for.
No, you had no idea how you got there. You'd been in bed tooling around on your phone and then you were falling.
They asked who you worked for, and were not impressed by your mundane answer. You didn't work for some pmc or intelligence organization. You asked them to their faces if they thought you could pass a PT test if you tried. Not that they answered or appreciated your point, mind.
It was only after you gave them whatever identifying information you had that things got… spicy.
"I would love to tell you what this designation of yours is if you tell me what you mean. Is it like a classification of civilian versus enlisted? Is it physical? Is it your horoscope? I don't know what I don't know," you explain again for the Nth time. You didn't wanna play twenty questions but here you fuckin were, captive audience and all.
The man asking you questions had lost his charming good cop look. He was getting more and more annoyed on this one, "your designation," a demand, not a question and sure as shit not an answer.
"Again, would love to tell you! I don't know what you mean! Feels like some kinda Star Wars thing," you grumble the last bit to yourself but the man cocks his head.
His eyes narrow, "what are… Star Wars, you said?"
You blink owlishly, "beg pardon?"
"Star War. Clarify."
It's your turn for your brow to furrow, and furrow it does, "Star Wars? As in the multi-billion dollar franchise created by George Lucas and eventually sold to Disney," your tone is questioning, just shy of asking if the guy lived under a rock but his expression didn't let up and the last thing you needed was bad cop, so you continued, "the story of what happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away? The political space series of movies versus Star Trek's more scientific and discovery based longstanding TV show? Nine major movies and the Clone Wars before Disney sunk their talons in. Like yeah we got more shows and movies that expanded the universe but they also cut out decades of book contributions in their acquisition and that kinda sucked. But yeah, that Star Wars?"
"Nine movies," his tone is disbelieving, and now it's your turn for your eyebrows to raise, "can you name them?"
You nod, "well yeah. Do you want them in episode order or release?"
His brows furrow, "did they not release in order?"
"In a sense? Three trilogies, 4-5-6 back in the late 70s early 80s, then 1-2-3 in the late 90s early 00s, and 7-8-9 through the teens. So order, yes, just… not a cohesive one."
"Release, then," he leaned back and crossed his arms, a position you'd love to mimic if you weren't cuffed to the table for… an indeterminate period of time now, actually.
"A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi-"
"Woah now, empire? What's a jeddy?"
You give him a blank look, trying very hard to mask your disbelief as you look between him and the mirror behind him. You look at your reflection, take a deep breath, and- "sir would it be easier for you to maybe check the internet?"
He seemed to bristle, nose flaring and looking at you expectantly.
You just… kinda sat there. You tapped your fingers together on the desk and kept the eye contact he was intent on. It took a good minute and him getting progressively pissier before you simply ask, "would you like the other movies now?"
You didn't expect an explosion of movement from the man. He downright snarled and slammed his hands on the table as he burst to his feet, the sudden change sending his chair screeching back before falling with a clatter. You leaned as far back as your cuffed hands would allow, eyes wide and a panic rising.
Both of you turned to look at the door when it slammed open with a barked, "Williams!" 
The man who opened it reared back a bit, "Christ, layin' it on a bit thick," he groused, his tone sounding more like someone chastising a teenager for using too much Axe body spray. He smoothed his posture back into something casual as he fanned the air dismissively with a hand, "cap wants you to take a walk."
Your interrogator- Williams, apparently- stares at the man in the door, the two locking eyes before the one in the door straightens from his purposely relaxed posture. You watch the both of them, noting the shoulders tensing as the two just. Staring at each other? Eventually the guy who'd been grilling you looked away and stormed out, the man in the doorway letting him slip out easily enough before turning a charming look back to you.
He took a minute to fan the door a few times to get newer, blissfully cool air in before he entered the room, "sorry 'bout him. He really did a number in here," the new guy tsked before closing the door quietly behind himself.
Your brow furrowed even as you slowly relaxed a bit, had this Williams guy like… farted or something? A nice quirk of ventilation keeping you from smelling something abhorrent? Either way you simply shrug as he walks in and tips the chair back up, sitting and giving another reassuring smile, "how you doing, love?"
You opened and closed your mouth a few times before simply settling on, "I'm a bit… whelmed? This has been," you give as vague a rolling gesture as you can without your cuffs rattling too badly, "a lot? And I have no idea what just set him off either?"
It's the man before you's turn to quirk a brow, "no idea?"
"If I knew the answers to his questions I'd've given 'em by now. I don't, though, and then he just started staring? And hell I just thought it was some kinda macho 'I can stare the truth out of you,'" you pitched your voice lower and pushed your shoulders out for a second to mimic the douchebag behavior before settling, "so I kept eye contact because I'm so out of my depth I have no reason to lie at all and now…" you trail off, gesturing around the room, "all that."
The man nods slowly, "alright love, could you tell me about the last five years?"
Your brows furrow, "oh fuck, 2019 was five years ago wasn't it. God, time is an illusion. Anyway, you want what I was doing leading up to and through the pandemic?"
You think he might've startled for a second but he simply moved to scratch his chin, "mhmm. Just your thoughts on the last five years is all."
So… you ramble. Because he was nice and not prodding or asking weird questions. You talk to him about your job before the pandemic, how people thought covid was just a flu until the death tolls kept climbing, how tons of governments dropped the ball on a local or country-wide level and how that kicked back onto your life, and then the absolute crapshoot of the last election cycle, the shitty 'oh no this is the new normal everything is fine' behavior that has lead to surges and cycles of a fucking plague and so on. He simply nodded, gave some sympathetic hums and winces appropriately at your experiences.
"And did you go back and watch Star Wars through that? Or other things Disney owned?"
And, well, that was a weird way to phrase it but you shrugged, "the mouse is just shy of a monopoly and not one that anybody can take that down so… yeah, I guess? They kept putting shows out and expanding their Star Wars universe so that's been kinda neat to watch but not just them, no. Couple other games and stuff like that to keep me busy, too," you kinda handwave and shut up because panic rambling to MILITARY PERSONNEL is probably not your smartest move in hindsight. Especially when you don't know his name. A+, self.
You tap your fingers against the metal table as he looks at you, "and you said covid has a long term effect of ruining people's senses of smell and taste?"
You nod slowly, "yeah, dude? It's one of the biggest warning signs for most people? Like if everything starts tasting like it was made by a middle class white mom who keeps shoving random letters in her kids names you should swab? That kinda shit?"
What rock has this guy been living under? You were pretty sure the military were supposed to be way more familiar with this shit all things considered, but you've been wrong before.
It was his turn to give you a bit of a wide eyed look before he poorly covers a laugh, "alright, that's fair. I need to go talk with my captain," he hooks a thumb over his shoulder to the window, which didn't surprise you that there had been people back there. He offers a reassuring smile as he stands, humming idly as he pushes the chair back in. He pauses mid-step, "you mentioned that there were cards…?"
You find yourself nodding slowly, "yeah it was important and you couldn't fly or go to certain places if you didn't have one for a while. Should still have a picture of mine buried on my phone," you really didn't wanna get another first-round of covid shots, you REALLY didn't wanna repeat the 24 hours of suck for no reason.
"Cool, thanks," he flashes another charming grin before he slides out of the room.
You lean back in your chair, what an odd guy. Nice though.
-------
"Right," Gaz says as he opens the door to Price and Ghost, "either our mystery guest is off her nut or she's legitimately from somewhere and somewhen else."
Ghost and Price look at each other before turning back to Gaz, this… complicated matters.
Well, it's not like you hadn't given them information to identify yourself. They'd dig up who you were one way or another.
-------
You stare blankly as the nice man from before gives you a sympathetic look, "what do you mean I'm dead?"
Behind him is a guy you're not sure if he's just fuckoff huge or if he's just moderately huge and it's forced perspective.
You don't think it's forced perspective.
You are absolutely trying not to panic spiral.
You are absolutely doing a horrible job at that.
"Well," he opens the file before him and there's a news article, proudly proclaiming "Locals Die in Horrible Freak Accident" like that's not some form of you that was looking like some smear on the pavement, "there's this. Fingerprints match up. Can check for dental if you're really curious."
"Were there even any teeth left after that," you mumble as you take and read the offered article. Seven people were involved, the pictures used are mostly flattering. Hell, you almost don't mind what pic they used for an alternate you but… "that's certainly not the pic I would've wanted. Maybe this me had different tastes?"
You take the time to actually read through the article. It's not helping because for as much as you stare at the page you're not absorbing any information. Some form of detachment, if this was really you? You'd died. A different you but a you nonetheless. You died and you're reading how it happened. There was a lot to unpack in all this and you just needed to put the suitcase away for now. You'd much rather throw it away at this rate.
You were rapidly coming to the understanding that you and Toto were not in Kansas anymore, and there wasn't a convenient yellow brick road to get yourself back home. No easy way to get the hell out of Dodge either. Was it Dodge or the O.K. Corral that was in Kansas? No the O.K. Corral wasn't in Kansas- Dodge was though, that's right. 
This analogy was getting away from you and some part of you figured this was just your brain trying to protect yourself but… wait, wasn't this a metaphor? There wasn't 'like' or 'as' or goddammit not again.
You recognize some names here and there but largely everyone involved were perfect strangers. The article doesn't cover if it would've been slow or quick. You hope for the smear that it was quick. Smears like that don't happen slowly, right? Well, not unless it's like a dramatic slide down a window, but not usually across pavement like that.
Still not sure how you feel about all of it. Bit morbid being confronted with your mortality like that.
Certainly answered a lot of questions about your theoretical passing you never thought about. Like if the obituary for you in what you know to be your own home and world is just as… really kinda just mediocre as this. Have you really done nothing of note for an obituary? Damn.
You kept pouring over the article, each pass bringing new words into focus that help connect the picture a little bit, but… Something repeated in the article made you pause, "two alphas, four betas, and an omega?" 
There was no decent way to ask about that. Any questions invoked from here would border into dangerous territory better kept between yourself and a private browser history. You knew what you were about but there was no fucking way.
"Their designations," the nice man whose name you still hadn't caught explains, "mostly explaining their secondary gender."
You look at him owlishly. You pray to whatever God might be listening that you wake up shortly. Or that the earth below your feet opens up and swallows you. Whichever comes first, the mortification will snipe you otherwise.
"Please tell me this is an elaborate joke at my expense," you are very quiet as you are trying to get really cool with a lot of things really quickly.
"Negative," the big fucker in the back practically growled and you knew that voice would do things to you if you weren't half stepped out of your own body. 
You missed whatever his followup was but your brow furrowed when you checked the date on the article, "I've been dead for months? That…" you let the paper fall from your hands. Everything about this is wild at best and very overwhelming at worst. 
A lot of this qualified as worst.
You look up at the two, missing the odd look they shot at each other as you try to pull yourself back together, "so now what? You've got a not-a-smear of me that fell from the sky onto a secure military base, and where I'm from we didn't have," you paused to gesture between the paper and the two soldiers, "dynamics was it? That was just a fanfiction special."
"Fanfiction."
The way he said it was so carefully neutral you paused, "oh my god without Star Trek to popularize fanfiction and the fan community, how has fandom evolved? Is fanfiction a thing- well, yes, it does fanfics have been a thing since Dante Alighieri wrote the Divine Comedy and even before- well, the question is more if it's still popularized? Are there still the wattpad fics of- I am getting so off track. What exactly is the next step?"
You look from the nice man to the big fucker and back, neither saying anything but looking at you with careful blankness.
You felt like you were being weighed and measured in their eyes.
You hoped to anyone listening that you weren't found wanting at least. Not when you're in the shit situation it looks like you ever so increasingly fell into.
"Considering I'm. Not smear. And very much not from here? Are blanks a thing? Or is that what a beta is I'm," you trail off, brow furrowing, "fuzzy. On the whole thing. The flavor of understanding, dynamics, and population skew tended to be dependant on the author's level of horny."
The did get a bit of a snort from the pretty one before you, the one in the back tilting his head just so as the pretty one spurred you on, "okay please don't take this the wrong way, you have given me nothing to go on but A/B/O and-" a finger was raised in question to that, you quickly explaining, "the fanfic shorthand for the universe without being a mouthful. Anyway- I've seen population numbers being roughly the same across the board, I've seen alphas and omegas at roughly 1% of the population of society on either end, I've seen alphas at about 5% and omegas at 1%- those ones are usually the most horny I swear.
"And it's all over the board, no consistency- sometimes it's betas are infertile, sometimes they're the straightman to the comedy that's an alpha and omega trying to woo each other without being too horny to function. Sometimes it's a sliding scale where being beta just means you're more the more middle-ground regulated hormonally with alphas and omegas being the opposing ends of a spectrum. Can you please say something and give me a fucking break because my panic rambles are probably like. Some kinda prejudiced. I'm still not over the 'I'm supposed to be a smear on the ground we don't even have dental images of to confirm who it is anymore' nugget you dropped on me. I think I'm doing well for this"
You would rather not tell them that as soon as you're out of this box of a room you were gonna be curled up in a ball and unabashedly weeping. That was none of their business.
The pretty one gave you what you're sure was supposed to be a reassuring smile but the quiet stretched just a bit too long. You looked from one to the other before leaning forward, "is this supposed to be soothing in some way? Because it's just a bit of an extended awkward silence and that's uh-"
It was the big one in the back's turn to give an amused snort, the pretty one looking bashful, "right, sorry, we uh-"
You jerk a bit, "wait, was that supposed to be some scent thing," you really didn't wanna say pheromones and potentially dig yourself into a deeper, more awkward hole based on Horny Pseudoscience.
Pretty rubbed the back of his neck, "something like that. You really couldn't smell anything?"
You know the exact Face you're making. It's very much your 'I have told you this and I'm getting tired of having to repeat it' face. You can tell he clocks it but for the record, because to your mortification this has to be recorded, you simply give a succinct, "no, I haven't smelled anything. Not from you, not from him," you jerk your head towards the big fucker, "and not from douchebag from be- Williams! His name was Williams. Nothing. Really had no clue why you were fanning the door when you came in."
You sigh, rubbing the heels of your palms into your eyes, "okay. Assuming I'm not about to be put into past tense a second time. Do we have any idea what popped me out here?"
The sentences are stilted, you know you're getting more rattled the longer you're here but sue you alright it's been the worst six hours of your life here.
They just continue to look at you, pretty keeping a polite almost customer service look as big one just stares unceasingly.
"Right. Okay. Am I going to be reintegrated to society or is this," you gesture around the little room as much as you can, "looking like my home for the foreseeable future."
No change in what you can see of either's expression, and you just sag. Deep breath in, deep breath out, "cool. Alright. Well. I know nothing of how biology is altered here, I'm not sure how that has impacted changes throughout history, and frankly I don't know what your pop culture has done. I'm assuming math and written languages are largely the same but in all fairness I don't know what I don't know."
You just stare quietly at the table for a bit longer before looking back at the two of them, "is there anything else you need because I can feel the freakout creeping up and while I know there's no real privacy, uh…"
The pretty one looked back to the big one, at some point you're sure you'll get some sort of names but for now? Now you watch the big one nod, the pretty one give you a polite smile and some vaguely polite bullshit your brain is swiftly going too far out to hear.
You only hope that whoever is behind the mirror is polite enough to look away as you put your head down on the table and give yourself the opportunity to, just this once, cry. As a treat.
[Next Chapter -> ]
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phoenixyfriend · 11 months ago
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I try not to make a lot of original posts on topics I don't actually have any expertise on, but I haven't seen a whole lot of posts going around that actually... explain what happened and why? Like, the actual order of events, the history, and so on. I want to reblog reference posts and explanations by people who actually know what they're talking about, but I haven't seen anything that hits the buttons I need to actually get a political situation... but I have seen some stuff on other platforms.
So here are some videos I've personally found useful in understanding Israel-Palestine, because that's the format I've found most useful in processing information of this nature:
Why Israel was Originally Attacked from RealLifeLore (explains the decades of political dynamics, internal demographic tensions, and power shifts leading up to the current conflict; notably the best I've seen at actually explaining what 'Israeli Occupation' actually means)
Israel-Hamas War: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO) (commentary on the actual current situation in terms of who's getting attacked, why, and what the international ramifications so far are)
What's Happening in Israel and Why with Nathan Thrall from Adam Conover, series Factually (a discussion with an on-the-ground journalist about what life was like on the ground for Palestinian people in the areas under Israeli control during the last few years, just up to the attacks themselves)
I'm not going to claim these are comprehensive or completely unbiased (there are a few moments where I'm not entirely sure of the bias levels myself), but for people like myself who came into all this unsure of what the actual situation even is, I think these are a solid set to build up an basic understanding from which to put together opinions on future information.
I can't tell anyone what to think about how or why any of this is happening. I can only really tell you that what's going on right now is a crime on the level of attempted genocide, and that the years leading up to that have been an absolute mess on almost all fronts.
Again, I have no expertise on this subject. I just know what kind of video essay, political commentary, and interview style makes things understandable to me, personally, and might work for others. Please be courteous and kind in the comments and tags, as I am only sharing this because I haven't seen such a resource making the rounds yet, not actually trying to sway anyone in a particular direction beyond "the mass death needs to stop."
If you know of similar, relatively unbiased* resources, feel free to share.
* By 'relatively unbaised,' I don't mean taking or not taking a side; I just mean that it doesn't try to hide some information or other in favor of pushing a narrative, doesn't try to generalize a population, or doesn't seem to be trying to use emotional gut reactions to get readers or viewers to jump past reason or compassion.
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nellasbookplanet · 1 year ago
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Book recs: sapphic romance for people who like Hannibal and Interwiev with the Vampire, aka fucked up and toxic
Enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, fucked up power imbalances, manipulations, plain bad people doing bad things - if you like your sapphics a little bit dark check out these books!
Some of these end happily, some tragically, some are more will-they-won’t-they than full on romance, some focus on healing while others focus on Getting Worse, but they’re all very juicy.
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For details on the books, continue under the readmore
Feel free to recommend more books in tags and comments!
Othe book rec posts:
Really cool fantasy worldbuilding
Really cool sci-fi worldbuilding
Mermaid books
Vampire books
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The Abyss Surrounds Us by Emily Skrutskie
Young Adult. tumblr classic back in the day! A trainer of sea monsters genetically engineered to protect ships from pirates is kidnapped by, you guessed it, pirates, one of whom happens to be very hot.
Escaping Exodus by Nicky Drayden
While my feelings on Escaping Exodus were mixed, it cannot be denied that the dynamic between the two leads and the way they go from childhood best friends to enemies on different sides of a class and power struggle is very delicious. It also features some really cool worldbuilding of living, alien generation spaceships and the human culture that has developed inside them.
The Stars are Legion by Kameron Hurley
This book fucked me up when I read it. It’s weird, it's gross, there’s So Much Viscera, there are literally no men, it has living spaceships and biotech but in the most horrific way imaginable. Had I to categorize it I would call it grimdark military sf. It’s an experience but not necessarily a pleasant one.
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The Lumionus Dead by Caitlin Starling
Possibly one of the most unsettling books I've ever read, and definitely the most claustrophobic. Gyre, a caver on an alien planet, ventures into the dark and dangerous underground, guided only by a woman who has no compunctions on using and manipulating Gyre as she sees fit to obtain her secretive goals down in the caves.
The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri
On the less toxic and fucked up side of the spectrum, but still pretty juicy. A princess held captive by her own brother, who wants to see her dead, tries to trick a servant into helping her escape, but with undeniable attraction growing between them and the servant having her own goals things quickly get complicated.
Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
Listen, if you're on tumblr I probably don't need to explain this book to you. Trust me when I say it's exactly as good as people claim. There are indeed lesbian necromancers in space (quite a few of them, actually), but also incredible worldbuilding that keeps growing with every new installment, interesting political commentary, morally complex characters with fucked up dynamics, and well-thought out plot that keeps you guessing until the last.
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They Never Learn by Layne Fargo
Listen, sometimes you just want to read about a vicious bisexual lady professor who murders predatory men and falls for the woman trying to solve her crimes and that's okay.
Fingersmith by Sarah Waters
The source of not one but two movie adaptations, Fingersmith is a story of trickery and manipulation as a young conwoman works to gain the trust of a heiress. I don’t want to say much more because the twists are some of the best parts, but trust that it doesn’t take long for things to get real complicated between them.
The Unbroken by C.L. Clark
Tourraine, who was stolen as a child and trained as a soldier for the empire that conquered her home, is recruited by Luka, the future leader of the conquering country to route out a rebellion. A game of twisted loyalties and attraction is soon to develop.
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This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone
Again, if you're on tumblr (or twitter, apparently) you have in all likelihood already heard of this one, too. Just like GtN it lives up to all expectations. It features two women on different sides of the titular time war, who starts leaving letters for the other to find as they chase each other through time. A quick read, slightly surreal, and absolutely beautiful, I cannot recommend this enough. Pretty mild on the fucked-up-scale.
House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson
In a world where the rich drink blood to preserve their health, Marion applies to a position as bloodmaid in a notorious noble house far from home. Suddenly showered with luxuries and debauchery, Marion soon gains the interest and favor of Lisavet, countess of the house. A fresh take on the idea of vampires.
Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon
A young pregnant woman flees a cult that left her body strange and changing in terrifying ways. Hidden from the world, she does her best to raise her children while trying to find out the truth of the cult and being pursued by a hunter in a dangerous game of cat and mouse. In no way a romance, but certainly has some fucked up sapphic shit going on.
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The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson
After her home was conquered by another land, Baru is determined to join their forces and climb the ladder until she’s in a position to free her people. To prove her loyalty, she’s sent to bring order and quell rebellion in another conqured region. Baru is set to succeed, but also has to struggle with her feelings for Tain Hu, a duchess of this region.
Ice Massacre (Mermaids of Eriana Kwai trilogy) by Tiana Warner
Young Adult. A small island is forced to defend itself against intruding forces of vicious mermaids. As all men trying to fight them get lured in by their siren song, a ship filled with warrior girls is sent instead. However one of them, Meela, had a complicated past with one of the mermaids, which is brought back to life when the two reunite on the battlefield. This one is also available as an ongoing webcomic!
Borderline (The Arcadia Project trilogy) by Mishell Baker
Urban fantasy mystery. Very much of the will-they-won’t-they variety, with a bisexual lead who has a male love interest as well as a female without falling into the typical pitfalls of a love triangle. Plays around with various fucked up power dynamics. A year after a failed suicide attempt that cost her both her legs, Millie is recruited by a secretive organisation that works to control traffic to and from Arcadia, the land of faries. Bear in mind that while the sapphic-ness is present throughout, it has a much smaller presence in book 1 than books 2 and 3.
Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool
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The Hunger by Whitley Strieber
Ancient vampire is on the hunt for a new partner, none of which tend to last long.
Codename Villanelle by Luke Jennings
Precursor of the famous Killing Eve tv series. While I don’t know much of the books, I did enough research to know this: their endings differ.
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mazzystar24 · 6 months ago
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Here's the thing and I'm not saying it's ok, it's obviously not in any way, shape or form, but since I'm assuming you have all the tags of bucktommy filtered perhaps you haven't seen it. Most of the bucktommy blogs (including ones that also ship buddie) have gotten many many hate asks, insulting them, accusing them of something, and just being incredibly disgusting. You literally can't go to the bucktommy tag without finding many posts of buddie fans who tag bucktommy saying shit about the ship, the actors, and the people who ship them. Saying that bucktommy shippers must feel threatened by buddie going canon and that's why they are rude is absolutely crazy (though there might be some that do, who knows?). Now, I'm sure that going to the buddie tag is also hard to do and there must be people who post shit about buddie and I know there are many blogs that are anti the extreme buddie fans. So, what I'm trying to say is that both ships have people that are purposely posting things to make the others mad, that are actively trying to continue this -frankly- stupid ship war. And they are being racist (on both sides, not just bucktommy shippers, I saw a bucktommy blog from a POC person get an ask calling them the n* word) and just plain awful. So, assuming that buddie blogs are better and do nothing wrong is incorrect, and it goes the other way as well. I really don't understand how people can be so mean, and so self-centered over two ships that who even knows what's going to happen? Everyone, absolutely everyone should do better. No one is better than the other one.
Hi anon!
Okay in case you don’t know my blog here is my usual warning that I will be bullet pointing but I promise I’m not trying to be curt/rude (cos you genuinely don’t seem to be on the attack or anything) I just can like explain my thought process better when I can like break it down into chunks 🫡
• I’m assuming you saw either this post which I do end with saying “Like we get it some buddie fans were dicks to you or you disagree or they did something or whatever the fuck but dont start being dicks to an entire fandom???” (Which I feel like it kinda gets the point across of like in general what people shouldn’t do but also it was in the context of me saying that that day there was a surge in the anti buddie fans in the tag, but I also do acknowledge that there will have been buddie fans who have been dicks to them, so I never “assumed that buddie fans are better and never did anything wrong”) Or this one which is just a whole post about why people shouldn’t be misusing tags rather than making people block them and obviously I’m talking in both posts about what I’ve personally seen which is the anti buddie accounts but the principle applies for both and I agree 100% and I did actually make a post earlier than that here where I do talk about both ends and misusing tags as well as not using discourse tags and I talk about both the anti bucktommy/ toxic buddie fans and anti buddie/toxic bucktommy fans so while I understand that you may not have seen that post and out of context it may seem like I only view one side as being better than the other I actually have pointed out before that it’s both and I urge both to just be respectful in fandom spaces, that’s why I even mentioned in the post where I’m complaining about people spamming the buddie tag that I always just politely ask whichever one I see (which again based off what I engage with happens to be the people spamming the buddie tag) but I did make a whole three parter post about how people can improve fandom spaces and how everyone should be doing better
• I actually don’t have the bucktommy tags filtered because as I’ve mentioned before I genuinely don’t dislike them and enjoy seeing their scenes and dynamic they’re just not endgame for me
• okay the racism is a more complicated topic so I do wanna preface this with saying I’m a poc before I have any toxic fans jumping into my inbox calling me a “dumb white bitch” again 😭😭- I don’t know how the racism toward the bucktommy fandom has been -not that any amount of racism is fine obviously like genuinely to those blogs that got shit said I genuinely hope you’re fine- but the toxic bucktommy fans have become a wholeass section of the fandom being racist, which is why I point it out because it’s not one or two incidences but rather an entire subset pushing racist narratives or just posting shit that’s racist u(and again my heart fully goes out to the bucktommy fans who had to deal with people being racist to them I am just personally going based off what I’ve seen and it’s the fact that there are SO MANY racist anti buddie accounts if that makes sense so it’s more widespread in that case)
• as for the comment about toxic bucktommy fans feeling threatened and that’s why there was a rise, i actually didn’t say that but it was pointed out to me by people in my comments and I was like that makes sense and honestly it does because it absolutely tracks that when one side of the fandom is feeling optimistic about something that hints at their ship the other side’s toxic fans will want to put a damper on that, just like I can probably guess that toxic buddie fans probably hounded the bucktommy tag around the time the hospital kiss happened, like it just makes sense
Thanks anon for the ask because I genuinely do agree with most of what you said, and you were respectful with it which I appreciate, but I genuinely urge you in the politest way I can to just check out people’s accounts before sending an ask like this because context is genuinely key and people aren’t gonna be reiterating that it happens on either end when talking about something in the context of one end if that makes sense? And I personally do try to acknowledge it as much as possible even in the posts that I assume you were referring to🫶🫶🫶
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holographic-mars · 7 months ago
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This is kind of a silly question but can you explain what you think Cosmos and Soundwave's dynamic is? For those of us who struggle with understanding characters,, cough cough me
Not a silly question at all! Not a silly question at all!!
I want to do a quick disclaimer I’m not the ceo of coswave (or am I 🤨) so everything I say is how I interpret coswave. I pull a lot from canon as well as my own hcs and stuff so it’s up to you whether you like how I interpret them!!
Soundwave and Cosmos’s dynamic from the beginning has always been about constantly learning and growing. These are two mechs who have very little experience with normal and healthy relationships (soundwave having significantly less experience than cosmos) so they end up building off of what they learn together.
They’re both very firm with their beliefs. Cosmos will never be a decepticon just like how Soundwave will never be an autobot. They compliment eachother very nicely with how they act and react to things, so where one mech struggles the other can be a pillar to lean on (for example soundwave struggles greatly with interpersonal relationships, so cosmos helps him with proper and polite interaction as well as trust building. Cosmos struggles with standing up for himself and putting his own comfort and safety first, so Soundwave helps him figure out how to say no when someone wants him to do something out of his comfort zone).
Soundwave’s idea of love stems from his understanding of loyalty which is incredibly unbalanced and unhealthy (ie complete devotion and submission). Cosmos’ idea of love is much more balanced but he tends to see love as something that is conditional (ie love that will only be given if you do something for them first). A massive part of their relationship is getting past these preestablished ideas of what love is meant to be and understanding how to treat their partner as an equal and treat love as unconditional.
Cosmos is not intimidated by soundwave one bit. He’s respectful of the fact that it’s Soundwave’s station that he’s on, but if he needs to challenge something soundwave says or does, he absolutely will. Cosmos may be nervous and has trouble standing up for himself, he is not shy about standing up for his morals or for other people. Soundwave is still a decepticon—he has selfish tendencies and nasty habits , but he won’t ever get too far in his malicious scheming if Cosmos has anything to say about that. Cosmos is always challenging Soundwave’s views and behaviors, and Soundwave honestly finds it exciting. Not many people can do that with the confidence and spunk that Cosmos can (and get away with it the way Cosmos can).
Soundwave has a whole decepticon space station to run and is notorious for Not Taking Care of Himself so fueling tends to be in the hands of Cosmos and TRUST Cosmos takes it very seriously. Due to energon shortages that effected the decepticons so bad during the war, Soundwave didn’t really fuel as much as he needed to (oftentimes giving his rations to his cassettes) so Cosmos was quick to rectify that and get him up to a healthy size. Cosmos keeps soundwave (and the cassettes) fueled and healthy.
Soundwave tends to express his love for his partner physically. He likes to have a hand on Cosmos’ plating whenever he is within reach, even if just for a second. He’s not good with his words (the irony of the communications officer who sucks at communicating) so he likes to show that he loves and trusts cosmos by touching him and letting him touch in return (this one is very important. Soundwave likes when Cosmos returns his physical affections the same way you say “I love you” back when a loved one says it to you). Cosmos, on the other hand, likes to express his love verbally. He doesn’t mind physical affection (he loves it) but he likes hearing it out loud. He praises soundwave and expresses how much he loves him on a regular basis, and though Soundwave struggles to return the affection verbally, he makes sure he holds cosmos extra tight or presses his mask against Cosmos’ own a little longer when Cosmos says I love you.
OUHH THATS ALL I GOT FOR NOW!!! GOD I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE AND ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION BC I GOT A LITTLE LOST AFTER A WHILE. THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!!!!!!! IM AO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER!!!!!❤️❤️❤️🛸🛸
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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 1 year ago
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What are some characters you'll like to see interact more that hasn't done so much in the series?
Oooo ok this is tricky and the second I post this I'll probably think of more!
I listed a few duos I'd like to see explored more a while back! I'm a bit lazy to go back and link to it now but I remember wanting to see more Dazai and Kyouka, Fukuzawa with young Yosano after she'd just been brought to the Agency, Aya and Akutagawa, and my favourite joke duo, Odasaku and Adam. Here's a few others I thought of:
Gin and Ryuunosuke: Please let them interact in canon. Please. They are literally siblings.
Margaret and literally anyone: Please. She has such an interesting set up. Where are we going with her? Can we elaborate on her situation? Her story? I just want her to interact with characters beside Nathaniel. I'd love to see her encounter Akutagawa again actually... could be really interesting.
Wells and literally anyone: Bring her back... I miss her... :'(
Mushitarou and Ango: ...me and the three other mushiango shippers crying for more of them... (but really I just think they're an interesting duo. *slaps both of them* these two can fit so much grief and regret)
Aya and Jouno: I'd like them to meet up again. I just think they could have a neat dynamic, with Jouno having faith in her without needing to know of her capabilities, simply because he knows she (and any civilian) would be underestimated. Also, both with the whole "justice as a choice" thing. Idk. Something there.
Chuuya and Atsushi: PLEASE. I need to see it so bad. Why have they not directly interacted yet? It seems intentional to me.
Naomi and Dazai: We get hints that Dazai actually teaches Naomi tricks and strategy advice. I'd like to actually see it!
Mori and Fukuchi: They were both at Tokoyami Island during the war! They may have actually met before this!!! I hope we elaborate on this soon. ...also I want both Fukuzawa's exes to meet and for there to be drama because it's funny to me. Bonus points if Mori shows up while Fukuzawa is still bleeding out on the ground. Old man yaoi showdown... (I am kidding :P)
Teruko and Natsume: These two authors had a real connection! Teruko was a student of his. I'd love if they pulled that into the series somehow!
Natsume and Agatha: OKAY, so this is based off irl Natsume's real exchange to Britain he went on. He hated it there lol. That's why I'm hoping for interactions between these two… and I hope they cannot stand each other. Maybe something happened between Natsume and the Order of the Clock Tower and they parted on bad terms. They meet again and the two are just all smiles as Agatha pours tea and Natsume rests his hands on his cane and they think of how much they wish they could laser beam the other to death. Idk. I like the concept tbh.
And these are just silly and self-indulgent:
Sigma and Tsujimura: if Sigma turns out to actually be Ian Fleming, I demand they meet and have a Bond-esque secret agent adventure.
Katai, Kunikida, and Higuchi: my dream crack trio that definitely makes no sense but I can't get it out of my head. I can't explain it ok I just think it's funny if Katai, after the Gin debacle, ends up with two overworked blond friends who check in to make sure that he is still alive under his futon. I need to emphasize though that Higuchi is far from her usual polite or professional and is just so done with Katai all the time. Katai still can't manage to make proper eye contact with her or have a full conversation. Nobody understands how they are keeping in touch or why. Also important you know that Kunikida and Higuchi have this weird frenemies dynamic where they are rightfully suspicious of each other for being on opposite sides but then feel like. A sharp pang of sympathy in their chests every time they hear about the crap the other has to deal with. They both shit-talk Dazai and can rant for hours. Katai is left standing there like 😥. It's basically just the "two teenaged boys" post, where Kunikida is the (comparatively) gentle "oh did you just wake up", Higuchi is the "OPEN UP FUCKNUGGET" and Katai is the guy who answers the door past noon still in his blanket. I know it makes no sense. Let me have this.
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UDLTTOM WORLDBUILDING RAMBLES: American Wizarding Society vs British Wizarding Society
This is like the 3rd installment of what is quickly becoming a series of long ranting posts about the lore surrounding Harry Potter & a current time-travel au I'm writing on AO3. But you don't need to have read the previous two posts to understand this one. (I still link them for those interested: pt 1, pt 2, pt. 3.) .
I think it's been fairly established that JK doesn't have much awareness of anything outside of Britain when it comes to world building. I've seen posts discussing how unrealistic the magical schools are and such. (Which obviously there can't be just 11 schools. I refuse to believe it. It exceeds my suspension of disbelief.) But this post isn't about that, but the whole societal structure of the American Wizarding society as a whole. I recently started watching my through the Fantastic Beasts films (I know I'm late to the show.) and as an American I can't help but to address some of this...
There's a lot to address & I'm sorry if this post gets a off on some tangents. But I'm just gonna jump right in with the things that bother me most.
1)The MACUSA reeks of British colonization.
As we all know, North America wasn't unpopulated when people from Europe started arriving. Native Americans, the Mayans, the Aztecs, Inuit people, and while some of them were nomadic others had established cities & advanced communities for that day in age. It was the religious zealot Protestants, aka Puritians, being driven out of England that pushed into these communities and brought with them this harmful religious dogma and pushed these people out of the homes and their lands. Like if you read into any of these cultures and their histories, you'll see that these communities were accepting of magic and in the HP world were probably very much wizards themselves.
And so the MACUSA doesn't make sense to me having been founded before the American Revolution, but after the Salem Witch Trials because in all likelihood wizards were being persecuted long before all that. Like I can't believe that the indigenous communities wouldn't have formed some sort of collective in order to combat these foreign invaders from overseas—Especially if they were wizards.
I mean so there had to be something before that, right? Like in all likelihood what I see happening is that these British wizards pushed themselves in with the Puritians (for whatever reason) and in the process brought with them their backwards views on muggles & blood politics & classism which wasn't a part of the original society. Because if you look at the indigenous histories you'll see that medicine men/women were respected members of their communities. Wizards and Muggles lived alongside each other just fine. But then the colonizers came & ruined that harmonious dynamic between the magical and nonmagical.
And that it's called the Magical Congress of the United States of America...It doesn't make sense unless that name came about after the American Revolution. Because before that it was referred to as the 13 colonies. Then it also took some time after the American Revolution for the 13 colonies to expand into the United States. (American didn't get all 50 states until 1959 with the purchase of Alaska from Russia and the forceful occupation of Hawaii.)
It makes more sense that there was a power struggle between two or more opposing Magical governments for the control of the Americas. And this would lead to a sort of Wizarding Civil War. Between the indigenous magical communities and the British, & Spanish, & French Colonies. It's a big place, huge. & it would be diced up and divided I think much more than than the muggle/no-maj community/government is.
The MACUSA being only on the East Coast makes more sense to me. (It also explains how there can only be one wizarding school in MA.) And how that school is a sister school of Hogwarts & how they are structured so similarly. Because watching the Fantastic Beasts films I don't feel like I'm watching American wizards, it more feels like I'm watching British Wizards with American accents.
And then the rest of the country is split up into districts or regions (much like it is in real life with: East Coast, Deep South, West Coast, Midwest.) where the indigenous practices and cultures are still prevalent.
I also don't buy into this idea that France and Spain would abandon their stake on the Continent. So in reality, it's more believable that Spanish Wizards would control Florida and expand all the way up to Arkansas, French wizards would Have control of Louisiana & Mississippi, East Texas, parts of Oklahoma, the British Wizards would have the colonies & maybe parts of the Great Lakes area like Illinois or Ohio, and then the rest of North America would be divided up into different territories amongst the indigenous communities.
Which then brings me to the second thing that bothers me: Rappaport's Law.
2) Rappaport's Law is a heavy-handed allegory for Jim Crowe & Segregation Laws.
As a white person, there's a lot in this topic that I am likely under informed and underqualified to unpack. It is a subject that would be better dissected by someone who understands the cultural histories and nuances better than me. But I read up a lot on random histories (because my Adhd brain leads me down some interesting research rabbit holes & I find myself fascinated by lore histories and folktales.) And I've learned a bit about the various histories pertaining to the Trans Atlantic Slave trade and how things like Voodoo made their way to America through the enslavement of various African tribes.
And again back to the British colonization, slaves were sold to the British by rival tribes & then some of those people made their way to North America when the colonies were formed , but that there was also a significant number of slaves that were indigenous to North America as well.
But how the indigenous communities were structured and how the tribal communities were structure were not all that dissimilar from each other. They both have an awareness of magic and similar spiritual practices. Again magic coexisting with muggles and what makes the most sense was that rival tribes would in fact sell the wizards into slavery and keep the squib/no-maj members of the village because they were less of a threat.
Which in turn would lead to most of the magical communities in North America being POC. Like honestly, I think they are the majority in the Americas. And the Rappaport Law, preventing the intermingling of no-majs & wizards would be heavily criticized because of the similarities to Jim Crowe and Segregation Laws.
And you might try to argue that because of the Statute of Secrecy, wizards wouldn't have any awareness of those muggle laws. But I argue that because of Slavery and most of the wizards being either slaves or negatively impacted by the European settlers would be very, very aware of those laws and prejudices & be actively fighting against them.
Like it was wizards creating and maintaining the underground railroad. It was wizards getting other wizards out and getting them away, regardless of whether or not they were magical because they were all slaves. And they would in fact still have muggles living side-by-side with them in these magical communities and spitting in the face of the Statute of Secrecy. And entire generations of no-majs would live and die in these communities and possibly even leave these communities to assimilate with other muggles and what not, but the American wizards would not be as cut off from the no-maj world like their British counterparts are.
3) Blood Politics would never be able to take root there.
Because most of them are unable to trace back their own bloodlines. It's why Americans don't have house elves working for them because it's Slavery, which they spent centuries combating and trying to escape. And why Grindelwald couldn't gain a foothold there because he was European and was actively killing muggleborns, squibs, no-majs like that wasn't their own people.
And this would also mean that, technologically, the magical communities in North America are more advanced. They are not stagnating like they are in Britain. Wizards are not a dying breed. They have a healthy growing population and low inbreeding rates, and advancements in magic and no-maj sciences. It's the sort of strength Grindelwald and Voldemort would want to recruit for their causes, but with how the majority of the continent is structured would never be able to.
[thank you for coming to my tedtalk.]
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rocultrakillstuff · 16 days ago
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Hello there! I've been looking all over for Ultrakill fics and I love the way you write Gabe. Can I request SFW and NSFW Gabriel x AFAB hcs with reader who is girly and pink? She's bubbly and a bit scatterbrained but she means well and likes Gabriel's presence ever since she found him (maybe secretly tying pink ribbons in his armor when he's not looking twist: he knows)
SFW hcs coming up! I love this dynamic, and there's a touch of plot sprinkled throughout. I haven't included NSFW due to the fact that I ask for ID first to prevent minors from accessing sexually explicit material. If you're happy to provide proof of age, then I'll write a part two for you with the NSFW hcs. But for now, I threw you in an extra five SFW hcs to make up for the loss!
Thank you so much for your kind words too! I'm super happy to know people are enjoying these ♡♡♡
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SFW Gabriel x Girly!AFAB!Reader Headcanons (Gabriel x Reader) [Requested]
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🐑 ♡ Gabriel headcanons are a staple in my diet by this point, give me more ♡ 🐑
A general selection of headcanons for Gabriel x a Girly!AFAB!Reader.
Teen and Up Audiences, No Warnings, F/M, Other/M, Tag(s): Headcanons, AFAB!Reader, Reader Uses She/Her Pronouns, Insecurity, Blood, Gift Giving, Fluff, Flowers, Pet Names, POV Second Person
Find it on ao3 ♡ WC: 1,589
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♡ Buried somewhere beneath the oversized pink cardigan was an angel fumbling her words. All gestures and nervous laughter, you were simultaneously trying to apologise for bumping into him, compliment his armour, and explain that you were lost. That was his first interaction with you, but not the last. With your penchant for looking every which way but forwards as you walk, you would bump into him time and time again. Growing familiarity would lead you to greet him with vibrant enthusiasm each time. Likewise, he finds himself helpless to the whims of fate. When you were lost, he would help you find your way. When you wanted to catch up, he would delight in your company. When you ask him if he wants to accompany you on your walk, he agrees. Who was he to say no? The simple truth is that he appreciates your often fleeting interactions. Conversation flows, and he keeps it no secret that he admires the breadth of outfits you decorate yourself with. Like the pink you wear, you seem to be the embodiment of its symbolism: love itself. Heaven sorely missed that innocence in his eyes.
♡ Who was he to say no? That becomes the sentiment of your budding relationship. Politics, war, and obligation fill most of Gabriel’s time. It is his purpose to engage with those things, and he does so with no complaint. Yet you, with such vigour, would light up Heaven itself with the zeal you express for that around you. No matter how many times you read the same romance novel, you remain engrossed in it from the second you pick it up. He asks to borrow it so he can talk to you about it, and the next thing he knows, he’s your model to style how you please. He is relaxing on pink pillows with you as you paint both of your nails. No matter what you ask him to do, the answer is a resounding yes. Not because he can’t say no, he just relishes being a part of the world as you see it. And he would worry when he realises that the world he is a part of is far detached from yours. Those things he does out of love are contradictory to the experiences you share together. Violence and bloodshed holds no place by your side.
♡ Gabriel is as scatterbrained as you once he begins to worry. Every table is at risk of being knocked over with a hip bump. Corners and doorways become his biggest enemy. The Council aren’t too happy when he shows up late to his summons. The otherwise cheerful angel would become quiet and reserved. Picking up on the sudden change in behaviour was easy, yet you forget to ask him about it the first time. When you see him again, you’ll pull him to the side to ask if he’s okay - apologising for not doing so earlier. There’s so much he would want to say, but he’s at a loss for words until he figures out what he’s experiencing himself. Still, he would reassure you that he enjoys your company. It’s not the answer you deserve, and he knows that like a sword knows death.
♡ There’s nothing to hide anymore when you catch him returning from Hell one day, and everything comes out in a big, bloody mess. You’re holding his hands in the most delicate way as you wash the viscera from them. He’s insisting that he can clean himself up. He says that you can talk when he is presentable. ‘Presentable, presentable, presentable’ - you ask him why he thinks he isn’t presentable the way he is, and he would tell you that you wouldn’t enjoy his company if you saw the things he did. As you begin to wipe down the side of his helmet, you allow it to sink in that you’re there with him. You haven’t left. After that, you let him handle things himself, and he has time to process things alone. For all his pride in his strength, he acknowledges that his ‘worth’ is where he finds himself struggling. He shelters you from the violence, but if he is not a skilled fighter in your eyes, then what is he? Is it enough?
♡ Two things happen. You become the reason why he voices his stress out loud. You also become the person he offers himself to entirely - even the parts that aren’t so pretty. Divided between duty and desire, Gabriel continues to share in your world. The moment he feels the warmth of your arms, he recognises it as the same bliss he’s felt by your side all along. To love love itself with the same ferocity is his driving force. Likewise, the adoration you afford the space around you continues to linger in your eyes when he holds your attention. It’s everything to him. Although, he tells you in confidence that he has no idea what he’s doing. 
♡ Remember the romance novel? That’s Gabriel’s guide on how he is supposed to act until he finds his footing. Sure, some of it is super cliche, but it makes you smile. Books are often your gateway into discussions about your relationship that teach you about one another. The learning curve is nothing more than time spent together enjoying each other’s presence. Every love language is spoken between you in an exploration of comforts and boundaries. His bad pick up lines are just as effective when you use them against him, and there’s no denying that his replication of your favourite written date was sweet. Yet no love stories could compare to the one you were blessed with in your own reality.
♡ Bouquets and various floral arrangements take over your room, rendering it into something akin to a florists in time. Gabriel is the culprit. You buy him flowers once, and he sets about finding you some in return only to realise none suit your particular aesthetic. A few long nights, and he’s hand crafted the perfect collection. It would include laurel leaves, delicate, pink roses, baby’s breath, and a Brindisi lily to accent the display. This isn’t mentioning the fact that he decorates the bouquet with a beaded twine wrap. He’s gone out of his way to learn all their names so he can run you through each one. Symbolism? Gabriel has memorised all that they stand for. The unsuspecting hobby sneaks up on him, and you become the recipient of almost every arrangement he makes, sometimes with your help. It’s relaxing to sit and tend to each flower to the backdrop of chatter or music. Even when picked, flowers don’t die in Heaven, so you’re soon looking for new spaces to put them.
♡ When things are calm, your nights aren’t often alone. Many a time you’ll fall asleep as he reads out loud. The soft down of his wings would envelop you like a blanket, making it hard to stay awake. Even the hushed tone of his voice lulls you to sleep. You never stand a chance. He is careful not to wake you as he takes in your sleeping form. Touch is physical like fighting, something he is accustomed with. Nevertheless, your gentle touch is novel to him, and despite the occasional insecurity, he savours how your hand fits in his. The brush of your side feels like a satin robe. When you kiss his cheek, he is reduced to a stammering mess. Gabriel is holding you as tight to his body as he can when he gets the chance. A feeling of needing more encompasses him regardless of whether you’re in his embrace or not. He is going to wear your jumpers to feel close to you if you let him because there is never ‘enough’.
♡ You’re his light. Gabriel thought about this for some time - what he’d call you, that is. Hope is something he has regardless, and to call you his love doesn’t feel sufficient. As divine as you are, light seems fitting. But that is not the sole reason why he deems it appropriate. He finds you when he looks up past Heaven. Everywhere in the universe there are the same, twinkling lights of the stars above. They are a constant reminder of how much care was placed into the creation of literally everything that anyone will ever interact with. And somehow you are a devoted vessel for the same light be it through nature or nurture. Galaxies can only envy the life that you carry within you. Perhaps that is why you’re always so energetic. No one soul can contain such magnitudes of endless spirit within them and manage to restrain the outpouring of expression that comes with it.
♡ While he hasn’t told you yet, there is something you do that brightens up every interlude in your shared time. Subtlety isn’t your strong suit, so he pretends not to notice you tying pink ribbons to his armour. On occasion, you’ll surprise him and slip one past his attention. Those times are far and few between though. It warms his heart when he feels the slight tug against his body signalling a bow being tied in secret. Then, in the privacy of his own room, he’ll remove it and sew it down the arm of one of his shirts. He’s five ribbons in on either sleeve, and they provide a burst of colour on the white canvas. One day he’ll show it to you. Until then, he’ll continue to collect each and every ribbon you hide on him.
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shifting-shadows-writes · 2 months ago
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hi. i'm back.
to my lovely lovely friends, i am so sorry for abandoning y'all. especially @sorrowlovingbirds i hope you are doing alright and i would love to stay in contact with you.
it's almost november again and i'm finally in a good spot to share a bit about what has happened in the past year and honestly before that too.
i'm putting this below a cut. this is long and chaotic and i'm really sorry that this is my returning post to tumblr and my little ywp community but i owe y'all an explanation, and i'm hoping i can speak out now about what i experienced.
this is my turn to step forward about the nano drama of last year, and my apology letter to any friends i've worried.
(tw the nanodrama, mental health spirals, toxic/abusive friendships, bigotry and threats)
for any of y'all who see this post and don't know me, my name is shadows. my first foray into the online world was the nanowrimo young writers program forums.
i'm sure many of y'all have heard about the abuse and trauma many of us have faced, and if you haven't, my friends have plenty of posts about it.
i joined the forums in april of 2020. i was lonely and isolated and the community there helped me figure myself out.
i wasn't particularly active most of the time. i had a few friends. people i knew and liked drifted in and out, and i had no way to contact them.
i ended up in a toxic friendship with someone on nano and it took a year to cut that off. i was going through my own separate mental health shit at the time so i didn't really realize how bad that person was for me for a while.
that was the first time i really learned people on nano and the internet weren't always who they said they were. i had learned internet safety and i kept my own life fairly private, but it didn't occur to me that other people who didn't keep their lives private could lie about the details.
at some point i joined the ywp discord server, moderated by basically the popular kids of the forums. (i hope y'all don't mind that i say this; it's how i viewed it.)
i learned other kids had been going through some of the same stuff i had--bullying, grooming, etc and had received little to no support from the moderators for it.
collectively we had a very jaded view of nano, but i think we all felt it was our duty to protect other younger users. (this led many members of this server to spiral in mental health because they had to deal with all the drama.)
but things were okay ish for me. i had recovered and i was pretty active on both the nano forums and the discord server.
then october 7, 2023 happened. (it will become very clear why this is relevant soon.)
i am not a politically involved person. i know a little between history class and what my parents have explained to me, but political dynamics always confused me and upset me so i generally avoided things.
being a jewish kid, i had a vague understanding of israeli history. i knew it existed and how old it was and i could recognize it on a map. i knew there was an ongoing war and that it was complicated. i knew the idf had mandatory service from my israeli camp counselors (most of whom had served roles other than active fighters) and i was confused that people would attack gal gadot for having served when it's mandatory. but that was it. my working knowledge of israel was basically nonexistent.
and all of a sudden, i was expected to know everything.
nano had a lot of jewish kids, all of whom seemed to know way more than i did. i got most of my information from them, and from my parents. (a little from school.)
in theory, i'd had lessons on the history of zionism and different branches of what zionism agreed with, i'd read israeli founding documents, i'd had a brief history of the conflict explained to me.
in practice, i hadn't paid attention to any of that. i didn't know what was going on, but i knew that i was expected to. i also didn't trust non-jews to give me information, in part due to a specific incident on nano which happened a few weeks later.
on october 13 somewhere in my community was targeted with a bomb threat. i told my friends on nano about it because it was scary and i wanted support. they gave it to me.
i also ended up writing and posting a brief overview of antisemitism (using knowledge i'd gathered from hebrew school and the internet for fact checking). here is the link to that if anyone wants to read it. the wording was last updated in december 2023.
it was pretty common practice on the nano forums to write a psa about something you'd noticed or that had affected you recently, and i had several other people say they would like a psa on antisemitic tropes and dogwhistles.
not long after i posted that, someone in a "diverse character help" thread asked for help writing a palestinian character. i will call them eva as that was part of their username and i need to refer to them.
one of my friends who is from northern israel responded with a bit of basic background information.
the response eva provided did not seem to line up with anything my friend had said. i was already wary of a non-jewish non-palestinian person writing a story about israeli/palestinian dynamics as that is incredibly complex, and i could tell eva was not well informed.
so i responded to the thread, warning eva that this was a sensitive and complicated topic and as a jew i felt someone israeli or palestinian should be writing this book. if eva isn't from israel like my friend is, maybe don't write a main character from the area. let actual palestinians tell their stories.
(unfortunately, i do not have my exact wording, though i did save their posts. i will be paraphrasing my responses to the best of my ability; i will paraphrase eva's and pull relevant quotes.)
eva responded to my message by saying: "Im not from PALESTINE, but I am VERY familiar with the topic" (even though they didn't seem to be).
they continued: "I want to inform people about the TRUTH. [...] Maybe you should try doing more research as to what is ACTUALLY happening, not what the internet and social networks have been lying to you about."
a reminder here that i had not mentioned anything more than: leave talking about palestinian trauma to palestinians. not what "side" i took (it is so much more complicated than that).
they continued to accuse me of not having a heart or having a bit of human in myself.
my antisemitism dogwhistle alert was blaring. i had just spent a week writing that psa, and here were real life examples of exactly the tropes i had been talking about!
but i kept my cool. mostly. i held a hope they could be reasoned with. "don't write this, please. you do not know what you're talking about. i think your perception of the conflict is just going to hurt people."
i need to include most of their next post.
"Netanyahu even said he will not stop bombing, killing and torturing Palestinians. The media has really gotten to you. Even some Jews are on the side of the truth, because they know, killing thousands of innocent civilians is wrong. Are you going to ignore the protests that are going on, because HUMANS actually care? You don't have to be Muslim to support the ones who are oppressed. I hope God puts you in the same situation as the Palestinians are going through right now. And I hope that you get to experience that. Does it really not hurt you to see kids bombed into pieces, getting Phosphoric Acid on you? Have YOU ever talked to a Palestinian because I have. You are blind as to what is going on. And don't come at me saying, "WeLl WhAt AbOuT hAmAs? At least they know who to challenge. You evacuated from Germany because of Hitler, and now you're doing the same. Netanyahu is Hitler in disguise. Beheading babies! Is that normal to you? If so, I hope you figure out what is right and what is wrong, and not being influenced by the media."
this whole paragraph was full of antisemitism accusing jews of being inhuman and controlling the media. and accusing me of being inhuman and unable to tell right from wrong.
the kicker is that i mentioned zero politics. i did not mention netanyahu or how i feel about him. i did not mention hamas or how i feel about them.
but what really got me was this: "I hope God puts you in the same situation as the Palestinians are going through right now. And I hope that you get to experience that. Does it really not hurt you to see kids bombed into pieces"
i had received an active bomb threat about a week beforehand. i didn't need to imagine going through that--i very nearly had.
i couldn't respond. i knew i would respond poorly and i would say something i didn't mean.
luckily, my friend stepped in once again and agreed with me, telling eva to stop and that they were misinformed. my friend, having lived in israel, had more knowledge of the active situation than me and tried to explain this to eva.
and eva responded with this:
"At least YOU actually have some knowledge but not enough. I will not say any more because I don't want to waste my precious words on you guys. [...] But, at the end, false knowledge doesn't work on me. Israelis and Jews are different, as I've heard and seen from different Jews myself."
if someone who lived in the area doesn't have enough knowledge, who does?
this rant is cut down because after saying they "don't want to waste [their] precious words" on us, they continued to accuse us of being immoral, uninformed, and duped by the media.
then finally: "israelis and jews are different." what? does the media controlling immoral inhuman stereotype only apply to israelis? are half of the world's jews different from the other half?
more of the same conversation happened. other users stepped in defending me from a literal bomb threat and the accusation that jews or israelis or "the media" or whatever else were corrupt, immoral, and inhuman.
the whole thread was removed, though some people asked for my original response (leave these stories to people who have actually experienced it) to stay up, as it was an important point.
this was one of many frustrating moderation decisions made recently on the site, and one of many where a mod stepped in only when things got wildly out of hand. (not to mention the speed of moderation response suggested the mod had been active while that conversation had been ongoing.
it was also one of the last straws for us. just a few days later, we posted about what we had faced on the ywp site to the main forums.
y'all can find what happened next on my friends' accounts. there was drama and investigations and a ton more stuff we didn't even know about.
i was glad we had kept receipts from all the times we had felt hurt. we had evidence that we were being mistreated, and the adults on the main site rallied to our side.
it turns out the main staff didn't even know the teens had a separate forum space on our own website.
the forums were shut down. i don't know if i was relieved or upset. there was a lot of community and collaborative work and safe space for so many kids out there. i know many kids from abusive families who got away with having the social media of a writing forum and found friends and explored their identities. and at the same time we faced so much shit on that site.
the discord server continued though it turned into much the same problems as the site. there were cliques and constant gossip and now it wasn't even moderated by adults but by involved teenagers.
by febuary i was stressed. it had been a rough few months for a lot of reasons, and i had happened to have a particularly bad day with people getting mad at me that i vented about. even though i put it under spoiler marks and tagged it, i was told not to post it there, which frustrated me since i'd posted much the same stuff before. then later a fight where some people disagreed with me just set me over the edge.
that was when i last posted on tumblr. i was having a meltdown and not in a good headspace.
i took a hard break. i deleted every single messaging/social app from my phone, even the ones that had nothing to do with the drama. i stopped responding to or checking things entirely.
(it turns out the discord server shut down just weeks later due to drama anyway.)
i genuinely believed that everyone hated me and the only way i could make myself deal with that was to cut off contact with everyone.
i've spent the last 6 months dealing with my shit, getting better therapy, and slowly re-engaging.
to be honest i am proud of myself that i survived until now because things were very rough and i wasn't dealing well.
i'm in college now. i'm meeting new people and making new friends. things are going a lot better.
thank you to all the people on nano that gave me advice and encouragement about college and applications, and about my family emergencies and grief.
thank you to all the people on nano who stood up for me and supported me through the toxicity i faced while y'all dealt with your own.
i hope i've been able to do the same for some of you.
to some degree, this is the grad post i'd always hoped to make. i know most people won't see this, and i don't know how many of y'all will care. but i'm ok with that now. i'm sharing to get this off my chest and maybe also hope that my friends who see this will know where i've been.
i know what the worry is like when someone disappears and we don't know if they're in trouble with their parents or if they've had a mental health crisis or something. i've seen that play out on nano before.
to anyone who knows me, you're welcome to reach out. i won't be super active on here. but i will be here for any of you who need my support. y'all gave me yours.
this is a bittersweet goodbye to nano as well. the forums have been gone for nearly a year and i will not be participating in the challenge this fall.
i will remember our little community, the good and the bad. i hope i will remember what i've learned from it.
keep writing, lovelies. keep being your amazing selves.
-shadows
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v-arbellanaris · 10 days ago
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as i was doing my other hawke pts (rowan [warrior], muna [support mage], mira [dps mage]), i rly started to miss rogue combat lmao so i started an isra pt again because i miss her also BUT actually something i never thought about too closely before but ive been thinking abt constantly now is isra and the arishok
rowan does not get a single square foot of respect from the arishok imho, and mira still has to prove herself to the arishok tho he does call her basalit-an in the end, but isra is the only one where like. they arrive at the keep and he already calls her basalit-an. she's always really transparent with him, but she also doesn't take his shit - whenever he tries to intimidate her or dismiss her, she calls him on his bluff and walks away, and he's always the one calling her back (and then demanding to know how she can just walk away from him)
its such a fascinating dynamic because she's really not hostile to him in the least (even if maybe she should be), which reveals a side of her i hadn't really thought about before. she's fairly sympathetic to the qunari's struggles in kirkwall, more so than any of my other hawke pcs - in many ways, i think she draws a lot of parallels between her own existence as a mage (and the chantry painting mages as demons in sleep) and how the qunari are being treated in kirkwall. there's really something that's so chewy about how miranda and muna and joan and rowan all see the arishok as a hair trigger away from blowing up the entirety of kirkwall with a single spoon of gaatlok, but isra is the one who understands that the arishok is trying not to make this situation worse, that he isnt interested in war or looking for it, and as a result, she's not aggressive or hostile to him in conversation
like i keep thinking abt isra going lmao well this is none of my fucking business and walking off when the arishok tells her about someone stealing saar-qamek in act 2, and its the arishok who calls her back, emphasising that a lot of people will die if the saar-qamek gets out. with the others, when he says it, it sounds like he's simply informing or allowing hawke to make the decision based on the saar-qamek's danger, but since isra did actively already try to walk off, he comes off as actually concerned abt the potential death toll (and the ensuing political ramifications of a whole bunch of kirkwall citizens are killed by a qunari poison). that moment provides such a fascinating depth to their relationship that i don't really get with my other hawkes, and i wonder if it is, in part, because isra is a former circle mage, and has the exact experience of how suffocating it is to be treated like that.
which ofc led me to the thought of like... how even when hawke is a mage pc, the arishok doesn't do anything. he doesn't turn you over to the templars or the chantry, sure, but he himself makes no effort to do anything to you. or to get aggressive. even though you have other qunari like the arvaraad getting immediately violent after he finds out that hawke is a mage or that there are mages around them that are not bound. how does he square with that bc i don't think i've ever seen an explanation for it...
it's been so interesting to think about their relationship and their discussions, and like tbqh i'm kind of obsessed with the vibe... despite repeatedly being like "its not my job to explain the qun to you and also idk how to make it make sense", he will still attempt to explain things to isra anyway. and isra, being primarily an academic before anything else, always has questions, and i think its such a rare chance at dialogue with someone who actually matters in the qun. the arishok represents the body of the entirety of the qunari, and i think that's something i certainly sometimes overlook when discussing things or thinking abt him, but i think its humbling to me that he will engage in conversations with hawke directly, even when hawke was just... no one. and i think isra would take the opportunity imho - both out of academic curiosity but also sympathy. is there anyone in this city who treats him like a person, she wonders. idk!!! i just love the idea of isra showing up with a chess board or something at the qunari compound every now and again simply to see if he'll engage her with an academic discussion or bitch about the viscount lmao
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jeannereames · 4 months ago
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Hello, I hope you're well :D I have some questions related to Olympias.
Was she "de facto leader of Macedonia" as it says on wikipedia? She was also regent for her cousin Eacides, and for a few months also regent on behalf of Alexander IV?
I’ve actually written a fair number of entries on Olympias. But in most, I refer to THE leading authority on her life: Elizabeth D. Carney. The number of articles (and books) this woman has written is a just a little scary!
If you are interested in Olympias, ignore everything on the internet (even me) and go and buy Beth’s book: Olympias: Mother of Alexander the Great. It’s been out a while, so you can probably find it used at a fair price, or find it in a library, especially a university library. If you can’t find it or afford to buy it, ask the library to get it for you via “interlibrary loan.”
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Bonus. She’s easy to read, has a very good narrative style (imo). And yes, when she gives lectures, she talks just like she writes. Ha. (Not all authors do.) When I’m reading Beth’s stuff, I can almost always “hear” her voice in my head, amusingly.
Anyway, just start there; she will answer every question you have, and some you never would have thought of. Very rarely can I give such a singular “Go read this” suggestion as with Beth’s book on Olympias. She has several other good ones, including on Macedonian women generally, and on Eurydike, Philip II’s mother (e.g., ATG’s grandmother).
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Now, as for my own posts on Olympias, here are some. I mention her quite frequently (as a search of “asks” + “Olympias” will show), but these are some of the longer ones.
Olympias’s role in Macedonia was complicated, and she was not de facto leader except in some respects, especially as it involved religion. When it came to war, and politics, that was Antipatros. That may be one reason Olympias eventually retreated to Epiros later in Alexander’s campaign, where she had more influence. But again, Beth’s book is much better about explaining all of that.
How Old Was Olympias When She Married Philip? A general post on Olympias herself and her background, that should help contextualize where she came from and what expectations she may have had, for her role as Philip’s 4th or 5th wife.
Olympias’s Relationships with Philip’s Other Wives. This discusses dynamics in a polygamous household like Macedonia.
Did Philip and Alexander of Epiros Have an Affair? While this is more about Olympias’s younger brother, it addresses, again, family dynamics in Epiros and Olympias’s role at the court (both courts).
Finally, a pair of posts on Philip’s murder, and Alexander and Olympias’s (non-)role in it. IMO.
Who Killed Philip of Macedon?
Did Alexander and Hephaistion (and Olympias) Know about the Plot?
Hope all this helps!
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cosmik-homo · 5 months ago
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Running here to say someone JUST told me they will read death gate, so the pyramid scheme is working :)
I'm really glad I read it, I had a lot of fun! The final books didn't quite hit the mark for me but as a whole it was a really nice series :) what are your favorite parts if you don't mind me asking?
Yayyyy my empire grows!
I've been really rotating in my mind how to answer this, for basically the whole day. There's very much a case here of "the thing you latch on to as a 12 year old is gonna stay with you forever", and this series helped me unlock a lot of things that have become central to my life, from grappling with sexuality and gender in my tweens and teens to. Very actively opening the door to question the Zionist assumptions I grew up with.
And I do think that despite certain pitfalls (looking at you pryan) the politics of the series are pretty cool, for a fantasy shlock- the validation of rage and vengence instincts on the side of the opressed as real and human (as opposed to bestial or barbaric) while also being unconstructive to creating actually better futures to any sides involved, and the necessity of solidarity and empathy and models of shared life and whatnot are all kind of relevant to what I believe and do with local circles.
But more than that, I really love the character dynamics. Haplo's arc is just a really good examination and deconstruction of fantasy masculinity tropes, and its beautiful and cool and explains how toxic masculinity as we refer to it today functions very well for something written before the phrase was coined.
And Alfred...
Ok, I am entirely incapable of being impartial about Alfred "dopamine creator in chief" Montbank but before I go down that rabbithole, i think what I really want to say here is I often feel the way i recommend or advocate for the death gate cycle in itself kind of ruins for others one of the things I like about it the best and the most and find delightful, which is the entire Bait And Switch ordeal.
It's unique, it's fun, it manages Layers, and it's so interesting in it's meaning.
AUTHORS NOTE: I am going to literally physically cut off the incoming alfred rant when it reaches 300 words. i will let myself write it as much as i want cuz god knows i need the serotonin, this is my version of chasing my own tail, and then just cut it at that cuff.
~~~
What Alfred means and represents and does and is in the books is so cool, and it's another thing that being fixated on dgc changed for me. I used to enjoy star wars the way a normal person would, once upon a time. It was Alfred-Majoring that made me c3po crazy. cuz its like, what kind of people are important to a story, what kind of abilities and attitudes and emotions and symptoms are "normal" and "good" to have on screen or page, as opposed to how we as people react to traumatizing or difficult situations in real life? He's an active expriment in discomfort with the pathetic in yourself and in others, in empathy, in being allowed to exist and be loved and meaningful Ugly and Weird. yeah in some ways its just an ugly duckling but. the whole swan/dragon side coming to the foorefront doesnt make the duck not there, hes just an extremly wonderful and powerful ugly, neurotic swan and its awesome.
The fact that being outside a system because youre too weak or odd to belong or manage to fit in it brings you unique opportunity to question if it's necessary or good.
I read a lot of margaret weis interviews and she never directly talked about writing alfred but she does often mention she doesnt read a lot of sf/f- her favorite authors are actually dickens and austen, and between that and the prufrock connection tm I wouldn't be surprised if alfred was purposefully designed to be a Literary character dropped into a SF/F story- and its sooo interesting in how it interacts with the genre convetions of power/magic/masculinity/trauma/danger etc.
~~~
OK that 278 words but I'm gonna cut it off now, I finished my entire coffee and then some crackers. normal behavior ensues-
On a less Analytical viewpoint of "favorite parts" I will say that the plot, dynamic and Imagery of fire sea is the one I find myself returning to most on a sf/f level - being reminded of it whenever necromantic societies come up, or Life Changing Enemies To Working Together Field Trips, or whatnot- Serpent Mage is i think the best constructed and I am often thinking about the social dynamics Alfred experiences there, and I have a deep and unbridled affection and obsession to the iconic mess of a jumble of a novel that is seventh gate because. sometimes, you just need dragontorture/ xars murderous paternal bedwarding / ghost handhold/ psychicthreesome/ dog based ressurection / closing the gate/ epilogue with children serotonin in life. that was balls to the walls the entire way through. and it rocked.
As i recently explained to a very cool person who ran a lecture on deathgate in a local convention: "When i was thirteen i was like oh i love basing my identity on dragonlance lets go for a fun ride. ooh its kinda slashy yayy. and then the existential teenage conditions hit and i started appreciating the Mental Health Representation, and then the panic attack representation looked me in the eye and said Become Leftist. NOW. we were not joking about the opening your worldview arc it isnt a metaphor this is directly about you. YOU need to fight the horrors in a radical kindness and peace way, even though you have crippling fear, right now. and then i did".
AND there's dogs, and dragons, and gay people devotion. so,
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ruiniel · 4 months ago
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Hallucinating about Kokushibo again (I)
Looking through some fic research notes and (instead of working on the actual fic) jotting some thoughts/headcanons on Kokushibo's background, the environment that shaped him and his internal struggles.
In the (present) KNY setting we're acquainted with Kokushibo as the strongest demon antagonist second only to the maker of all demons: he's taciturn, aloof, emotionless, strong and ruthless. An impressive, by no means generic, but distinctly villainous character. Afterwards in true KNY style more is revealed and I've read many opinions of KNY enjoyers on various platforms who find Kokushibo's story as one of the most relatable among the antagonists' (not that it's a contest, not at all, but I found it interesting and unsurprising). Let me try to explain, mostly because I'm blurting this to piece more of him together myself.
This was just some guy born in a warrior class family during bloody, turbulent times. No special powers, no godly gifts, a regular human with better material means than most people at the time. Being the older twin in a period where the status of the eldest sibling mattered reams politically and socially, it was undoubtedly instilled in him that he must lead and uphold the honor of his clan when time came. In this snippet I found interesting, Imagawa Sadayo (poet, military commander) writes in a letter to his brother during the early 1400s:
First of all, a samurai who dislikes battle and has not put his heart in the right place even though he has been born in the house of the warrior, should not be reckoned among one's retainers ... It is forbidden to forget the great debt of kindness one owes to his master and ancestors and thereby make light of the virtues of loyalty and filial piety ... It is forbidden that one should ... attach little importance to his duties to his master...
This circulated before the Tsugikuni twins' time but there's the idea of sacrifice, respect and loyalty. These are all principles found in bushido ('the way of the warrior') which encompassed morality, one's role in society, and how to live a life with honor and virtue. It's relevant here to note that the values comprising bushido evolved significantly over time and had many variants.
And the twins' lifetime wasn't a walk in the park of history. This was a fractured Japan of civil and economic unrest, uprisings, conflict over leadership on local and regional levels with feudal powers battling for influence and decade long wars. Point being, it was expected of Michikatsu to come up to speed as fast as possible. When you look at it this way, it becomes even more obvious why his drive to succeed (in blade mastery) and overall become the best took such an obsessive turn. Looking at this, we see a glimpse into their early family dynamics:
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We see their father and arguably most influential figure in their lives at that point had a harsh, controlling character and was essentially a man of the times who focused on what was best for the clan (in detriment to his offspring). This resulted in the arguments with Akeno who viewed the children as human beings first before anything else. It does seem their father genuinely cared about Akeno and her wishes and possibly realized his mistakes, though too late, and thought he left behind a strong legacy at least: Michikatsu, taking up leadership as a samurai, married and settled with his own household (my assumption is he did so at around the age of 18, similar to Yoriichi & Uta).
The twins both hurt inside because of the differences imposed on them and their status. While my post focuses on Michikatsu as a character, his relationship with Yoriichi and feelings towards his younger twin were pivotal in his development and downfall, so it's relevant to consider how naturally caring he was towards Yoriichi when they were children: because I like to believe it was in his nature, and though twisted, in a way their brotherly bond never did break even when Kokushibo was all that was left.
More going off the rails in part II...
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whatawalrus · 4 months ago
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Little bit late here but how do you best see Darin’s dynamic in your headcanons? This coming from someone who ships them but sees it as kind of a toxic doomed situationship with one of them (always Daan) dying in the Festival.
Oh you're not late at all! I'm just slow af. XD
It will depend on the scenarios. I cant really pinpoint my hcs cause I try to line up with their canon nature, but know they are in a dire situation, being in the termina festival. I like to think outside of their lives.
There are alot of hcs I have, but alot of them might be different with what the fandom sees them as. Perhaps it's that part of me that like bittersweet or long sweet growth between these stubborn headbutting duo. Other parts, it was never meant to be. But i think they might being out the best with each other if they give each other a long time.
Yess! I do love the doomed situationships alot! I have read some great fics that display this so well. That appending doom and they have their time left surviving what appears fruitless.
First off, enemies to lovers; it's a VERY hard dynamic to pull off. They weirdly bounce off each other very well, but some cases, people mistake abuse for chemistry too. I am guilty of this trope, and maybe because of this, I was delighted by the ship (plusssss my friends got me into it xD).
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The Endless and the Blank soul. A void going on forever. There's nothing but space, but it keeps going on. The Blank soul has 'Endless' potential. The Endless Soul has no finish line, blank sets of pages to skip through.
Both have some things in common, both are "selflessly selfish" in their own way. Might not be the best phase of meaning, but let me explain.
Karin pursuits selfless causes since she was young, engaging in protests against the Breman Empire, covering wars (lol) as a journalist and is compassionate for the unfortunate. A bleeding heart if you will. Remember, even being in upperclass, she was raised away from wealth from her kidnapping. She stops at nothing to get a concrete answer for everything and everyone she seeks out, and she does it very well, giving her fighting spirit. That being said, she does these without much consideration on other's feelings or opinions with how she does things, making her self-centered. She has tunnel vision, when she has a goal, thats all that matters. It makes her appear self-righteous and out of her depth. Karin definitely wears her career on her sleeve, with may come to the negative stereotype of journalists being pushy, nosy vultures. Given the "Karen" personality she has, it does not help her case.
Daan is a man who seen and experienced trauma, which he uses for helping others. A man who lives for others. Daan is very good at a doctor, passionate about it, we see him trying to aid the moonschorched villagers despite his sarcastic wit. He is willing to sacrifice his mind and body for healing others given his skill abilites relates to healing. From his background, he is sympathetic towards some contestants like Levi and Marina and rather protective of them (yes the BOP scene counts lol). The otherside is Daan can be very callous, haughty and condescending. Yes, he is polite on the outside, but its a shield; the events of Termina cracks that facade. He expresses the doom and gloom, dimissive of the silver lining. According to some folks, Daan appears as conceited and poking fun at their expense. Now that doesn't mean he thinks he is better than anyone, he had so many misfortunes in life that he is blinded by cynicism. His suffering is in serect in guilt and shame, that he seems to reflect in his sarcastic humor and sometimes projects on others. He sacrifices himself as self punishment than a viture. A doctor's job is self-sacrificing, but the way it is displayed as self-destructive. He believes he has nothing left. It doesn't help that Pocketcat is encouraging his thoughts that his life was never his in the first place. He is not his own person, he's a vessel. So why should he care what happens to him? Someone will think he is reckless and selfish how he is destroying himself slowly.
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Let me make it clear; depression can be such a destructive force of oneself, and that sometimes one can be so absorbed in their self-punishment, they become deaf to other's feelings or even resentful of them. It can make one recluse away, hiding from what can help you. It makes you appear selfish or act on selflish tendencies. This is from someone who has been diagnosed with chronic depression disorder and it has been severe since.
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(Fuck that was stupid and harsh on Daan, i see him as he is and from my experiences of depression and seeing friends who suffer similarly too. What happened to him is not his fault. but let me get to the hcs...?)
I like to hc alot of growth of characters being out of the festival. I am sure they act differently when not on the brick of death. It brought out the worst in people to survive.
Example; they escaped, pondering their lives afterwards. One wants to spread the word of the horrors she witness, the world needs to know to prevent this from happening again. The other, he has went with nothing to return to, only motivated by what happened to his wife and the baron.
It would be interesting to see how they will intertwined later in life.
I had ideas of drabble on how harsh Karin can be about Daan's self-deprecating humor, he will dismiss his survival as "coincidental" or his aid for others wasn't anything special. Karin is passionate and won't take his pity nonsense, be blunt on what he is was the many reasons many folks are alive and give himself more credit. Daan might ground her into reailty to see the forset for the trees cause she doesnt grounds herself in reality depsite of her denial of magic. Something like that. Both can learn alot from each other. Maybe they aren't made to last, but they would change for good cause of they knew each other....in three days. Idk anymore
I rambled way too much. Might offended some folks, might be wrong in some. Many of these thoughts are from the games, friend discussions and some fanfics that are close to the canon, i take it as such. Modern Man Traditional Medicine by @ vampireghostlawyer is one of the best ones I read. If you want more sweet, @ BrickleandFickle has very wholesome ones. Ther3es other fics can't recall but i will add a shoutout when i remember them
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ride-thedragon · 5 months ago
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Team Black has interesting characters, but I need them to have more conflict with one another to see them truly shine.
https://www.reddit.com/r/HouseOfTheDragon/s/nPLxtAKy0u
Thoughts on this post?
I saw it. I agree to an extent because they were so focused on showing them aiding Rhaenyra that we never got to see actual conflicts between them play out. We don't see Rhaenys reason with herself or meet the two girls at the same time when they are adults and have a conversation before they're betrothed. And yes, you can argue its political, but my question then would be why is it political when she's list so much when trying to play the game? We don't see Corlys and Rhaenyra having direct conflict face to face or meaningful interactions between Baela, Jace, and Rhaena. Overall, it took a lot to crown Rhaenyra, which had to be overlooked to see her with the crown.
That aside because they weren't in the mentioned post, I think conflict is different from disfunction. A lot of people talking about the fact that Rhaena feels resentful is mental to create a dysfunctional dynamic when it's not most likely. It'll be like when Jace pushes Luke down when they are fighting on Dragonstone. A character moment meant to convey something meaningful but not to completely explain their dynamic.
Just like the post, I'll go from character to character:
I do think we are going to see Rhaenyra reconcile with her general entitlement throughout the past few years. Staying on Dragonstone really did hurt her position, but also seeing her have to keep peace after Luke because she is hesitant to launch the realm into war. She's going to be fighting against getting revenge and keeping allies all while countering the difference voices of her council who want to be in war. If the interviews are anything to go off of if she's trying to keep the memory of her father alive, she can't get revenge. So, I do think a lot of the narrative will be based on that idea and the balancing act as they descend into war and realise there is little hesitation from the other side, rightfully so after the early events of the war happen.
Jace being ready for war is one conflict I think we'll see. He's looking to her for leadership and direction but also want s to contribute all while he's still a child. He just lost the brother he volunteered for the envoy mission. It's an extremely personal stake for him and one he can't reconcile without guilt and just by trying to keep peace. For me personally, I hope they bring a conflict of upbringings between Jace and Rhaenyra. He never had the security of simply being heir without proving himself like she did. He has to prove himself because his entire life has been people telling him he's a bastard. He also has a responsibility to the Velaryons not only through his parents but also because he's engaged to their ward. He has to do right and keep them as allies, which might mean growing up a lot quicker than Rhaenyra might even facilitate. She can't protect him, and I think their approaches are going to clash. Jace also seems a very angry kid eager to prove himself, so if he goes off and does so, would Rhaenyra see it reasonably, or would Jace be reasonable to begin with.
I think Rhaneys is trying to keep it all together. Like trying to be the guiding light. She's going to be another voice of reason that's different from Viserys peace once you ignore conflict. She seems to be the only one who understands the cost of shedding blood in war fully. The cost of shedding blood at all. I can see her trying her best to reason between the interest of her house and the interest of the Realm. I do think she'll have one of the biggest impacts on Rhaenyra and well see how well that dynamic can be fleshed out. Appeasing the realm isn't the way to win this war. I also think we'll see her dynamic with Rhaena and Baela play out better. Those girls individually have scenes where they look to her after hearing Rhaenyra for a clear answer. That could be a big deal when it comes to Rhaena’s precarious position after Luke is gone and Baela's eagerness to defend her family.
Corlys, I think, hasn't been too forgiving. That made has been ready to abandon this cause, but Rhaenys has ensured he stays and fights. Corlys was saying Rhaenyra destroys anything she touches and so on. I do think he's as loyal to her as his wife is, and if something comes in between that, they're going to have to ass kiss. I do think he's going to be doing the blockade and his plot from the books, though, so he's already a source of conflict. Corlys outside of Draogns is their greatest strength, and if he feels he's being overlooked, he has every right to pull out. He's also, as the post said, a historical figure at this point. A living relic, so when we see him with the hand of the queen pin, I do hope it's because of atonement and an attempt to make a true ally not only the way it goes down in the books.
Daemon is Daemon. Reactionary in grief and loyal to no person in a way that would really benefit the cause outside of war time. He's too chaotic and wants his own way, which is detrimental to the larger cause and what Rhaenyra wants. We have to consider his precious character moments and the questions being asked. Daemon, I think, is going to stay exactly the same, and hopefully, by grace alone, he'll evolve into someone closer to his book counterpart at his big age. I can't wait to see Alys and him interacting. I think they're making Harrenhall a bit more bloody. And having him more involved in the war effort and blood shed in the riverlands. But if disfunction is the goal, there's no better catalyst.
Overall, the post was cool, but I do think ignoring Rhanea and Baela and their parts in this season is an oversight. They're marketed as Jace's closest allies, the daughters of Daemon. We see Baela being a lot more active, and Rhaena, though uncertain, definitely has a much larger role. I'd say don't underestimate their narratives just yet. They'll definitely be household favourites by the end of this season.
Lastly, just to touch on this, Mysaria is going to be such a character this season, so I'm showing my Stan card right now. No one is vocalising how crazy her part in everything is going to be, I truly think we are going to see her become the Larys of team black, and it's going to be so amazing.
Thank you for asking.
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