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auntie-venom · 2 years

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Will of Fate

Chapter Four

Fandom: Star Wars: The Mandalorian

Story Rating: Explicit

Chapter Rating: Mature

Characters: Din Djarin x Original Female Character

Summary: There hasn’t been an unidentified spacecraft in the stratosphere of Arkadia in over two decades, let alone three in one day. Those skilled or mad enough to venture into the Chaos unguided were few and far between. That means no one has ever made it to Arkadia who wasn’t intending to be here.

Until today.

Din Djarin finds an unmapped planet filled with beings who have the same powers as the Child, but know nothing of the force or the Jedi.

Chapter Summary: Din, Eziriel, and The Child make their way towards civilization. Din asks Eziriel a question that has been on his mind all day.

Word Count - 4,614

Chapter Warnings: Language

Will of Fate Masterlist

Read on Ao3

A/N: A day late, but here it is! Thank you to those who have commented and given feedback, it has been very helpful and encouraging.

Feedback and critique is welcome, I am trying to get better. Reminder this is unbeta-ed. I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter four

Din can already hear the woman, Eziriel, puttering around and humming to herself in the common space when he wakes up. The sun is coming brightly around the curtains of the window indicating it is later in the morning than he would have liked to wake.

He rises from the bunk and slips his helmet off momentarily to wipe the sleep that gathered in his eyes. While he appreciates Eziriel’s courtesy in giving him a secured room to sleep, Din did not feel comfortable shedding his armor in a relatively unknown location.

He goes through his morning stretches taking note to check on the various recovering injuries on his body. The bacta injection did wonders for the surface damage but there was still healing time with bruised ribs and concussion. Luckily, the more extreme symptoms of his concussion are gone and the pain reliever is keeping his rib pain to a moderate level.

He opens the pram to check on the kid and sees him still sound asleep, recovering from using his powers. Similar powers that Din witnessed Eziriel casually use last night.

Was she one of the Jedi he needed to find? It would make sense that they would inhabit a planet—Arkadia he reminds himself—that isolated itself as thoroughly as this one did. It would also explain how difficult it has been to get a lead on any of them.

Our secret keeps Arkadia alive.

That sentiment resonated with Din far deeper than she probably realized. He fully understood the need to protect one’s society. He knows what it means when secrecy is survival. The Armorer’s words ring in an echo to Eziriel’s, “Our secrecy is our survival, our survival is our strength.”

His helmet picks up Eziriel opening the outer door and stepping outside. He uses the opportunity to make his way to the refresher but when he opens the archaic hinged door of the bunk room he is greeted by the chair he was sitting in last night in the doorway with a steaming mug of caf and another ration pack on top of it. He feels his brow relax from its usual heavy weight at the kind gesture.

She is thoughtful.

He takes care of his business in the refresher and eats his meal in his usual quickness before following the soft humming from outside.

The sun is still low in the sky and it illuminates the vast canyon with its red rocky walls and the pillars that were topped with vegetation that he attempted to navigate yesterday. The trees that surround him are towering gnarled beasts with rich green leaves and house colorful chittering avians. Din admits to himself that it is quite a peaceful view.

“There’s my lovely Lori!” Eziriel chirps from his left and the sigh is through the vocoder before he can stop it.

She is a menace.

“Did you sleep well Mando?” The way she says his name is teasing and full of mirth. It’s irritating. He turns towards her and he finally sees his savior in the full light of day.

She is petite and the way her baggy green overalls hung on her only served to make her seem shorter. Her fair skin contrasted against the vibrant copper hair that was escaping the large braid in curly tresses. Her thick expressive brows arch regally over warm blue eyes and amongst the constellation of tan freckles scattered across her face lay a small brown mole on the apex of her left cheek right beneath the corner of her eye. He notices her ears were the normal size of most humanoids, but with the tips pointed and slightly elongated which was something he hadn’t seen before on a seemingly full human individual. The small laugh lines in the corner of her eyes and the scattering of white strands that resides in the hairline around her face tells him she is older than he originally thought. She wears a smirk in the corner of her full lips like it was a permanent fixture, and if Din had to guess it probably was.

“I appreciate the meal, thank you.” He dips his head towards her.

Her smirk softens to something more genuine, “You’re very welcome. I need you well fed for the journey. We have a two day ride through the beautiful Forest of Ga’ladora before we make it back to Helix.”

Din looks to the woods and asks, “Is it very dangerous?”

“Not dangerous, but it has dangers if you are ill prepared.” She goes to finish tying up her supplies to the speeder bike as she falls back into her teasing tone, “You are blessed enough to be in the company of an experienced guide.”

He feels his lips twitch upward at her levity. He doesn’t verbally respond to her but instead goes to help where he can in loading the speeder. Together they secure all the satchels and the pram with little fuss. With the pram taking up space on the back of the speeder it is going to be a tight squeeze for the two of them.

Din realizes that she hasn’t once asked about the pram. She has referred to his companion, but hasn’t invaded his privacy about it. Even when she was questioning him about his intentions last night she never once gave it a curious glance.

She is respectful.

She does one more walkthrough of the beacon station before closing the hinged door without locking it.

“I can't imagine how someone snuck tech into your system with all that security,” he says dryly.

She snorts at his jab. “The panels to the hardware are extremely locked down, but the beacon stations remain open to the public for those out in the wilderness. Citizens enjoy venturing into the woods for pleasure, so having a place to sleep safely and a cache of supplies lowers the amount of search and rescue adventures,” she says.

In other parts of the galaxy people live in the wilderness because they have nowhere else to go, and Arkadians have leisurely trips in the wilderness for sport. Din thinks it’s a very generous solution to a privileged problem.

He watches her tap on the brass colored device circled around her right ear and that violet holographic visor comes across her eyes. He watches her eyes scan it quickly before meeting his eyes through her visor. For a brief moment he wonders if she can see his face with how accurate she was in making eye contact.

“Your vitals have improved! Though I do read an influx of endorphins so I imagine you still have some pain.”

She is invasive.

“You could have just asked,” Din says.

“Sorry,” she says with an embarrassed look of genuine remorse. “I’m so used to just getting answers myself rather than being given them.” She dismisses her visor with a flick of her wrist and grins up at him. “How are you feeling?”

“Bruised ribs. Minor headache.” She stares at him with a raised brow like she expects him to continue. He doesn’t.

“Maker, what an informative assessment you delivered,” she snarks back with a laugh.

“What more do you need to know?” He asks flatly and she chuckles.

“You’re right, that is all I need to know.” She smiles at him as she mounts the speeder and pats the seat behind her in invitation. “Efficiency is the name of your game, isn’t it?”

“If you’re gonna be anything, be efficient,” Din replies as he swings his leg over the bike. He is so close he can feel her giggle in response and he feels his lips twitch again at her joy as she takes off into the woods.

She is droll.

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Din isn’t sure how she is weaving through the massive forest at the speed they travel, but it is nerve wracking. Her reflexes must be honed sharply because he barely has time to register an obstacle before she has already plotted her path around it. At some points it is dizzying to see where they go but that could be due to the lingering concussion.

They travel for hours this way, winding through the maze of trees navigating toward a mountain range. He feels Eziriel’s voice rumble where he is pressed to her back ever so often but it’s never directed at him and his helmet can’t pick it up over the rumble of the speeder. He figured she was talking to whoever was at the other end of her comms last night.

About an hour past midday he watches as her head cants to the side like she is listening to something and she slows the speeder down down.

He feels her laugh and barely hears her say something before her chuckling voice rings clearly in his helmet, “Your companion is awake and they are hungry.”

His body startles at her voice without his permission before muttering, “Dank farrik, woman.”

He listens to her laugh harder at his reaction as she steers the speeder bike to a clearing near a flowing stream. He notes her visor isn’t activated and it makes him curious how she knew the child was awake and hungry.

Eziriel parks them in the sun dappled shade of a weeping tree and the peaceful sounds of a steady stream fill the air once the speeder engine is cut. She knocks twice on the armor covering his thigh with her knuckles before standing and swinging her leg over the handlebars to dismount.

“C’mon, it was time to stretch anyway.”

Din watches as she goes onto her toes, stretches her arms high above her head, and lets out a high pitched groan of relief. He twists off the seat and goes to adjust the ropes on the pram so he will be able to open it without untying it from the speeder.

He feels a small rise of nervousness at revealing the child to Eziriel. He didn’t think she would do anything bad, but it was always nerve wracking to expose the child. He presses the release button quickly before he overthinks it too much.

“Hey kid,” he greets once the large eyes lock onto him. The child gives him a toothy grin and makes a curious noise at his surroundings as Din picks him up.

The child leans to look around Din at Eziriel, “Ehhh?”

“Well, hello little…Lad? Lass?” She questions towards Din as he turns around.

“Boy.”

“Wonderful to meet you little laddie,” she says as she holds two fingers out for him to grasp and she gives him a light hand shake. “How do you fit those ears in the helmet, Mando?”

“He isn’t my blood,” Din says, rolling his eyes at the joke he has heard dozens of variations of over the last few months and her continued teasing tone of his moniker.

“Doesn’t make him any less yours,” she says sincerely, looking up to meet his gaze accurately once again. The sentiment warms his chest with affection and she smiles at him with kind eyes. “Do I get to know his name?”

“I don’t know it,” Din says with a shrug. She raises an eyebrow at him.

“What? Like you’ve forgotten it? That concussion must've been more serious than I thought,” she remarks, going to her bag to pull out the ration bars. The child's ears perk up at her finds.

“No,” he scoffs and sets the child down when he starts trying to wiggle free. “I found him a few months back and he has been with me ever since. He's not verbal enough to tell me his name.”

The little green toddler waddles over to the woman and she plops down to the grass to greet him after tossing a ration bar to Din. She smiles and opens a ration to give to him, but he just crawls onto her legs and makes himself comfortable in her lap before reaching for the nutrition brick. She releases a mirthful giggle at his audacity and Din can’t help but lift the corner of his mouth a little.

“So he is your—what do Mandalorians call it—“

“Foundling.”

“—Foundling!” She snaps her fingers and points at Din with a grin. “What do you call him then? ‘Hey you’?”

“Kid, mostly.”

“Maker’s tits, Mando.” She dramatically rolls her eyes as she digs into her own ration, “Your naming habits leave much to be desired.”

“I’ve been quested to return him to his kind,” he says soberly. She gives him a sympathetic look of understanding.

“And you didn’t want to give him a name when he might have someone who knows his true one,” she says with a tone of compassion.

Time passes with the sounds of whispering wind and trickling water as she and the child finish eating their meal. She fishes out her canteen and offers it to the toddler and he messily accepts while she snickers.

“Well, I’ve never met anyone that looks anything like little laddie over here,” she says as she takes his hands and bobs him back and forth as he giggles. “But I’ve barely left Arkadia, so maybe someone in Helix will have a lead for you.”

The child slides off her lap and starts exploring the grass next to the stream. He starts pointing at things and babbling back at Eziriel and Din, the former of which nods and responds enthusiastically like he is telling her the most important information.

“You not going to eat? I can turn around or you can go into the woods and I’ll watch the kid,” she offers.

“Thank you, but no,” he states and she scrunches her eyebrows at him. “Please don’t take offense, you’ve been very accommodating, but it's just that I don’t know you enough to trust you in that way.”

“You could get to know me,” she says with a grin and an arch of her eyebrow. He tilts his head at her and she starts digging through her bag for something.

“What do you do?” He finally asks awkwardly.

“I am an electrical engineer by trade, but I am the head of a division in the technical operations of the Arkadian government.” She pulls out a case from her bag before continuing, “It’s a little more bureaucratic than I’d prefer, but I get access to tech I’d not normally. What about you?”

“I’m a bounty hunter.”

“Oh wow!” Her eyes wide as she smiles at him. “That is so wizard, it must be a life filled with travel and adventure.”

“That is one way to look at it,” he nods to her as his eyes track the kid chasing a bug.

“Which has been the worst planet you’ve had to chase a bounty?” She asks as she pulls out a thick tube with a device on one end out of the case. Din takes a moment to mentally go through the catalog of planets he has visited.

“Coruscant. Everyone is just stacked on top of each other, absolutely no space to breathe. Bounties think it is a good hiding spot because of that; and it would be if they were smart, but they usually aren’t.” Din leans against the speeder and watches the kid look at the bug he finally caught. Hooking his thumbs into his belt he continues, “They have a lifestyle they try to keep that involves being social and anyone will sell you out for the right price.”

She hums in interest as she twists off the device at the end of the tube. She takes the tube and puts it into her canteen. She smiles triumphantly at him as she stands up and walks up to him holding the canteen out which now featured a straw.

“You should stay hydrated in this heat, at least,” she says, pushing the canteen into his hand.

“You just had a straw handy?”

“It’s a filtering device for drinking from a body of water with unknown sources.” She shakes, what he assumes, the filtration system at him and leans against the bike next to him and turns her gaze to the toddler.

He is, once again, taken aback by her thoughtfulness. He is unmoving, just looking at her, and before he realizes it he has pressed the helmet’s button that releases the seal with a pneumatic hiss and slides the straw under. He tries not to over-analyze the act of trust he is giving a woman he met only a day ago as he drinks.

“In vids, Coruscant always looked way too crowded for me. It gives me anxiety,” she says with a shudder. He hums in agreement and looks at her. “Just all the buildings alo—NO! NO! NO!”

He drops the canteen and grabs his blaster as she is suddenly sprinting towards the kid and that’s when he notices a wriggling frog is now floating in the air above the pouting toddler.

She scoops the child up and says, “You are a troublemaker, little laddie, I can tell.” The kid giggles at her. “Mando, your kid was trying to eat a live frog.” Said frog was being lowered into the stream as Eziriel walked back towards him.

“He does that.” Din holsters the blaster and bends down to pick up the fallen canteen.

She did it again, using those powers that were so similar to the child’s. When the kid used the powers it took all his effort to concentrate while she just nonchalantly used them with barely any physical indication. Was it a different power or was it simply because she was an adult?

After she hands the kid to him with a slightly appalled but mostly amused face they each take a private relief break and load back up onto the speeder bike. The kid was secure in his pram once again and given an extra ration pack by Eziriel before they continued their way towards their destination.

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By the time the sun was getting low in the sky they were climbing through the mountains at a steady pace. The temperature was falling the deeper into the mountains they went, not enough to be biting but enough that Din notices goosebumps on Eziriel’s arms and for her to stop momentarily to pull out a dark plum cloak.

She started slowing down when they came across a river. Diverting from the direction they’ve been heading all day, she instead followed the flowing river. The river becomes wider and a mild roar of water becomes louder until they reach a deep pool of calmer water that is being fed by a plunging waterfall. She pulls under the overcrop of the cliff far enough away from the spray of the waterfall and kills the engine.

She stretches her arms above her head, bowing her back with a groan before dismounting. He follows and opens the pram to a grumpy face surrounded by crumbs of a ration. The child must be over being stuck in his pram all day.

“I’m getting too old for long rides,” she says, twisting her back in more stretches.

“Come on, you look like you are barely an adult,” Din comments with a teasing tone deliberately towering over her and looking down.

She gives him a look of faux outrage. “Sir! Don’t let my height fool you. I may have the stature of pubescent youngling but I am halfway through my thirties and my back feels every year.”

Din sets the child down as the last beams of sunlight punch through the trees to the west. He watches as the child goes waddling toward the water and picks up stones to start clacking together.

He senses Eziriel’s presence before a hand touches the armorless space on his elbow and he glances down at her. She slides her hand down his arm to flip it palm up and places a ration meal pack and an eating utensil in his hand. She grins up at him before pointing behind them to a dark cave in the cliffside.

“You can eat in there while keeping an eye on me and the lad,” she says. “It goes straight back so you can go pretty far back in the darkness while still being able to see us.”

“Why are you so concerned with my eating habits?” He asks.

“I swore to your safety and taking care of your needs is a part of making sure you’re safe.” She shrugs like it’s an obvious answer.

Right, the oath she swore in order to reassure him that she meant no harm. He didn’t know what the full scope of it entailed, but it sounded like it was broad. He was curious to know if that was normal or if Eziriel was manipulating him.

She holds out her canteen and he takes a moment to scan the surroundings before accepting it with a nod of thanks. He makes his way into the cave hesitantly, keeping vigilant for any wildlife that might be lurking. He hears Eziriel call the child over and ask him about which ration he would like to eat; to which he gives some sort of babbling answer that she agrees with.

Once he is far enough into the dark cave he leans against the wall and looks at the scene framed by the mouth of the cave. Eziriel is sitting by the water with the child on a rock next to her. They both keep their attention on the water pointing at different things only turning towards each other whenever the kid demands a bite of food. She eats while he makes comments in his toddler language. She nods and responds to him like she understands him.

Din removes his helmet and begins his meal as he wonders if she is a mother. The maternal side of her that he has witnessed seemed very organic, and if he was honest with himself, very charming. Seeing a pretty woman doting lovingly on his foundling makes his neck heat up in a way he doesn’t want to think about.

By the time he has finished his meal the sun is gone completely. He steps to the mouth of the cave just in time to hear the child coo in amazement and he has to agree with the assessment.

All around them a kaleidoscopic display of bioluminescent organic life begins to fill the darkness with light. Lichen paints glowing pink hues onto the rocks and trees; pulsing green comes from the scattered fungal formations; the trees themselves illuminate purple in the cracks of the bark; and the water glows a bright shade of blue from the algae along the rocks of the river with the churning waterfall emitting the most light.

Din steps up behind the pair glancing into the water they are looking at to see dozens of fish of all colors illuminating in the glowing pool. He watches as Eziriel drags her fingers through the water creating a swirling bright light in her wake.

“The algae-infused water temporarily reacts to an exposure of oxygen,” she explains to the child. “Here, you try.”

She picks the child up and tips him over the water so he can drag his tiny hands through. When it doesn’t work for his slow movement she easily calms his frustrations.

“You have to create a little more of a disturbance in the water for it to light up. Just go a little faster,” she suggests calmly. The child listens to the instruction, inadvertently splashing her, and coos in wonderment at his achievement. Din has never seen the kid take instruction this well before and is impressed with Eziriel’s patience.

He takes a moment to appreciate the calm moment where the kid can just be a kid. No Empire chasing him. No mystery powers. Just a boy in the arms of a woman who wants to show him the beauty of her planet.

With her kind smile gracing her delicate features and the blue phosphorescent light of the water reflecting against her skin, she looks like a celestial being that his mother used to tell stories of. Protectors from the stars who want to show people the woven threads of the universe and the beautiful tapestry it creates. It gives him a momentary sense of awe just looking at her.

She holds out a hand and a couple dozen of the smaller pebbles around them lift slowly off the ground. They float over the pond and she rains them into the water creating shimmering sparks of light as the pebbles breach the water. The child pointed to where the rocks hit the water and gave her an inquisitive noise.

“Are you a Jedi?” Din asks abruptly. Smooth.

“A what?” Her brow furrows in confusion as she glances up at him. The child lets out a high pitched squeal that catches both of their attention as he holds up his hand and a pebble flies into the water far less gracefully.

She cheers with a clap of her hands. “Your will is very strong buddy!”

“I was told his people are the Jedi. Warriors who use that—“ he gestures to the rocks “—power.”

“Power? Do you mean my Will?” She asks and he finally catches the way she says it. She’s mentioned her “Will” before, but it seems he just didn’t grasp its true meaning.

“Is that what you use to make things move without touching?”

“Well, yeah.” She shrugs nonchalantly before continuing, “But it’s not a power. Everyone has a Will.”

“I can’t do that,” he states matter-of-factly.

She gives him a considered look and says, “We just assumed adult offworlders didn’t have control of their Will because their cultures didn’t nurture the skill when they were younglings.”

“I was told that this power is called the Force.” He explains and her eyes go distant in thought.

“I’ve not heard it called that, but history and sociology weren’t really my favorite focus in my education.” She scrunches her nose at the statement.

Din sighs at another dead end and tips his helmet down in frustration. So on her planet everyone has these powers, but they aren’t the Jedi he was searching for. He wonders if anyone here would even know anything about Jedi since the planet has been isolated for so long.

“Hey CHI-CHI,” she says, breaking the silence. “Can you pull any information regarding Jedi and the Force and put it on my home terminal?”

“Of course I can, I am not an imbecile,'' a voice says coming out of her bracer.

She waits a beat before sighing. “Will you please gather the information for me?” She begs.

“From just our archives or would you like me to retrieve more from the holonet?”

“Access whatever you can, so long as you remain hidden,” she tells the voice.

“Obviously,” the voice says sarcastically.

“Thank you CHI, darling.”

“You are most welcome mother, dearest.”

She gives a dramatic eye roll before looking at Din. “We should have a plethora of information waiting for us when we get in. You are more than welcome to it.”

“Anything you find will be more than I have now,” Din says. “I am truly in your debt.”

“Nah,” she says with a wave of her hand. Before he knows what he is doing he kneels down and places his hand on her shoulder gently.

“Really.” He squeezes her shoulder. “I am very grateful for all that you’ve done for us,” he says with a soft voice looking directly into her eyes.

She grips the splashing child tighter and a look fills her eyes that he can't place. “You are very welcome,” she says before a mischievous smirk curls up her lips. “Anything for my lovely Lori”

His sigh is eclipsed by her chuckle.

<< Chapter Three

Chapter Five >>

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blankdblank · 2 years

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The White Dove Pt 36 - Lizards and Letters

Had the thought to edit the next chapter and maybe post it early, if you're eager for more and don't want to wait a week for it let me know and I'll get it up sooner. :)

… Masterlist …

@jesevans @theincaprincess @lilith15000 @devilishminx328 @jiminapickle

***

“Now let’s lock you in place,” you muttered to the first partial scale to meet up with the broken remnant on the lowest left corner of the bite. Hooks on the back would latch onto the supporting beam you added. Into the slot the hooks eased and around the top of the scale you used a rubber mallet to bump it lower to not be able to wiggle free. Flush against the damaged half with a gentle whine of metal on metal to get it there it came to rest like the other twelve broken scales.

To the addition of your welder’s visor you heard the latest on the radio of a passing car, so called ‘Hero Registry’ was to be voted on as this in the latest act of the Avengers had damaged the city and endangered lives. Having only compounded the damage the green menace had committed, proven by the five other sightings where he did little to no damage at all besides using some knockout gas. Vigilante’s however were not up for discussion as of yet as compared to the Avengers targeted smaller scale criminals and kept to lesser populated areas to not bring innocents into the mix while promptly showing them out of the area once found upon their path.

“Unmitigated disaster,” you thought to yourself in the ignition of the torch. To seal the seam within the scales added, and then around the edges of them you hoped to ensure the seams were water tight. Bottom to top you welded the broken scales then in the lowest level you took the flat beam with raised grooves on it. To hold it one handed and weld it across the entire gap by means of a rolling stool that allowed you to remain level in the process.

Scans of the rest of the outer wall showed how the scaled met the flat panels across the very base, and like a shiny new penny with just that added you couldn’t help but smile at how it looked as far as restoration ease would come after this. Scale number one was lifted as the torch was set down on the ground to be the first scale to rest beside the one you just welded to lock into place.

One layer was done before you knew it, and then you lifted off the seat to stand and leap up to pull yourself onto the deck so you could wiggle down the side of the mast to get into the lower level. Bee behind you the path to the gap was traced to watch you with a pocket flashlight you brought to inspect the backside of that row of scales. “Not that bad,” you muttered in a slide on your side to look at the next section over to see little spots to weld.

Back up to the mast slot you pulled yourself back onto the deck to cross it and get back to the chair. Off that you stepped to grab the visor and torch to seal around the seams, which would lead to another trip inside to double check the seams and back out again to start on the next row up. Slightly more to the left to fill in a gap of a scale torn free you began and bit the inside of your lip at the same whine of metal on metal to fit the base within the row you had just finished.

Through the space between two beams Eddie’s head came into view with Venom poking out from beside his face, “Red and Blue has a youtube page now. Calling himself Spiderman. Stopped an suv from hitting a bus and caught a pick pocket.”

“Hmm,” you said making him chuckle as you eyed the next portion of the row you were on covering half of the bite hole. “Must be the one who followed Misique’s page.”

“Looks seamless here, Sis. Need some arms for the next few rows?”

“That would help, ya, could get the gap done by supper.”

“Now that’s a hell of a costume.” The words turned the owl themed statuesque figure with a mask and cape that hung dramatically around their intricate feather accentuated layers that came into view a moment in their turn to see you hop off a light pole from the roof you were in wait on. Two days ago you had heard from Luke Cage about this odd owl guy your Seal guy was spouting off about but hadn’t seen what they were up to aside from hovering around the proximity of a smaller branch of a bank. “Normally people just phone it in, I really don’t even know how you want to fight in that, the hours it must have taken.” Compliments one after another had the newly named Spiderman curiously perched in his place he’d been hiding having spotted Misique back in town to see what you were up to.

Almost an hour later talks moved to a park nearby. After a stop at a food stand, the evidently far from willing to harm people new ominous figure going by WhoMan sat with you just spilling all their desires to make it in the plushie business that their father who ran that small bank said would make them a failure in his eyes. “Then make plushies.” You said and they scoffed, “What do you want to make plushies of?”

And they grew quiet a few moments then on their unseen smart watch when they folded their sleeve back pulled up images of small made plushies of bees and various colored versions of Venom with various hats making you smile. “Those are adorable.”

“I cannot survive on dreams alone.”

“I have 700k followers on my youtube page,” you said making them look to you from their mournful look at the images. “You make a supply and a page on etsy and I’ll make a small ad in one of my videos and add a link. I have a friend with near a million followers on instagram and I’ll have them link it too with some pictures.”

“You would do that?” They asked in shock making Spiderman hiding in a tree inch up a bit more in shock at what you were up to.

“Do you know how many stress hulk toys they have for sale in gas stations? Or even Hawkeye Nerf archery toys? I can talk to the other Vigilantes and see if they’ll be up to giving you more muses. If anything you can use the costume as a marketing ploy if you make the page owl themed. Might have to dig out a series of contracts to settle image percentages but they should agree.”

“Thank you,” they said in shock and an email was traded to further talks as the pair of you split up. Alone along a back path through the park you strolled saying to one of the trees you passed, “Good to see you are keeping off the western alleys tonight, Spiderman.”

Anxiously out of the tree he dropped and looked around to hurry to your side asking, “You um, why’d you do that? I mean, I didn’t expect you to just talk to the person.”

“They haven’t hurt anyone. Luke Cage said they merely prowled around that bank weirding him and his family out. I hurt people who hurt people. Not a danger to dream about making plushies. Having daddy issues doesn’t mean you have earned a death sentence.”

He nodded and asked, “Up to anything cool tonight I can help with?”

“Heard some of Kingpin’s thugs are troubling people on the bridges again.”

“That sounds awesome!” he whispered to himself and readied as you did to rush to meet the bus you’d both ride on top of the roof to get to the other side of town where Venom descended to help out his baby sister and a fellow web slinger. One that gave vague flash backs to when you had first showed up, this was another kid out on the prowl with powers to prove useful, though this time with less of a sordid back story.

An alarm afterwards had the teen bouncing on his toes for the call of a clown crew who had been bothering people since a seedy circus had been rolling through town far out of season to be up to any good.

“Pluto! There you are! I’m so thrilled you could make it!” Dr Connors paused a moment asking, “I didn’t wake you too early?”

“Oh I was up, some shelves were misbehaving at the candle shop and apparently I am the only one capable of engineering a new set of shelves,” you answered with a grin reaching up to fix your lopsided ponytail following his waving arm to usher you in deeper through his lab.

Cellular regeneration. Amongst many uses would include enhanced healing and even the coveted gem of regrowing limbs. Something you knew the one armed man to covet the dream of achieving one day to have his second hand back. For all his excitement and vigor in launching this new compound into study within the notes you could see there were major flaws in just the simple skim of a few seconds he allowed you in hasty flips of pages.

No account to which gene being triggered or how the lizard DNA would bond to it. There was no symbiosis involved, merely genetic level mutation. Something new entirely. While your parents’ work centered on waking what the human code already had this would kick start it by allowing a predatory gene pool into a new host body surely doomed to only lure on a new take on Frankenstein’s Monster.

But he was happy, and plotting to keep Norman Osborn happy in his latest ever growing urge for more genetic adaptations to have available within the labs. Ones he could try on himself if he dared like he’d dosed himself three times with the Goblin serum to heal from wounds Clint had given him on his stealthier to the public requested shadow of the green menace they wondered why Misique was allowing him to remain loose.

Talk of injury was a possibility that had her out of commission after their first encounter, though sight of the newly named to the public Spiderman The Lizard was evidently her goal. More than one person had encountered this new giant amphibian who seemed enraged in the mere presence of humans. And with the big turkey day parade everyone was eager to have the menace under wraps to enjoy the day of celebration.

“Okay we got two hours before I’m supposed to be in bed to get four hours before the parade,” you said. Hanging onto the back of Venom’s neck while he swung building to building to follow the latest trace of the giant now apparently bent by the notes you had found on spreading this cure to the human overpopulation problem within this bustling city.

Wrapped in broken webbing the very public tussle in a car locked intersection ended with you dragging The Lizard back down into the manhole he had burst from to escape from you. Screams and muffled body slams into walls and streams of flowing liquid below had bodies climb out of their cars to lose all sense of reason or time to see who would win this battle of wills. “Okay, I got the stuff you wanted!” Spiderman said trotting up to the manhole he leapt right into and was heard exclaiming, “Hey!” a body slamming into stone had people flinch then smirk in wonder at his shouting, “Not cool man!”

“I have his torso, Sister!” Venom was heard exclaiming to roars and loud struggles of the fight below had the cops on guard around the intersection holding bodies back until a sudden flash of glittering yellow glowed out through the manhole and sewer openings nearby then one last loud roar cut short had silence overtake the crowd to a moment of worry.

“What do we do?” Spiderman was heard whispering far too loudly then sloppily out of the manhole The Lizard rose shoulders first stirring gasps from the crowd until at once his body flung up to collapse heavily onto the road exposing his broken neck and jaw. Both that rolled and bent in unsettling ways as Spiderman finished climbing up out the manhole to hoist the body up he hurried to carry over to the side of a cop car.

Face to face with Captain Stacy he cleared his throat to say deeper than his natural voice went, “SHIELD’s gonna want that. Um, Misique’s tired. Goodbye.” Then sprung to gather up the webbing that still blocked off the intersection. Just so he could scurry back down the manhole webbing the lid shut behind him.

Over his shoulders Venom had both your groggy self and unconscious Dr Connors, now shirtless who you used a formerly used once power of dissecting genetic codes in a mixed breed of flower to split his original self and the lizard code overtaking his mind and body. Spidey had to go home, and at Eddie’s place Dr Connors woke up on the couch and promptly shot up. “Hey hey, careful there buddy. Had to stick a monitor on you, kept doing this weird twitch on us.” Eddie said hurrying from the kitchen with a warm mug of water and a teabag he’d not yet unwrapped. “Got you some tea, take it easy.”

“I’m, not a fan of the Buccaneers…” the scientist said now in notice of his loaned shirt he had on to go with the matching sweatpants in a look over himself. Up around the warm cup his hand rose to claim it. “Thank you, where am I?”

“My place. Misique dropped you here. We didn’t know where you left your stuff and the lab has security out the wazoo this time of year, couldn’t just hoist you up and drag you there to look for keys and an ID so we’d know where to take you.”

“Why am I here?” he asked, still a bit confused on how he spaced from being in his lab feeling a transformation coming on as he readied to try his latest way to entrap his other self to not escape.

“Well, not sure if you realize it, but you’ve been growing a tail past couple weeks or so, at least as far as headlines go, could be longer for all we know. I mean, it’s an impressive tail don’t get me wrong. But um, you’ve been trying to eat people, and well your other half, the um, one with the tail tried to set off a gene bomb, to, well, turn everyone in New York into lizards too.” Deeply Dr Connors let out a breath and Eddie nodded patting his hand atop the shoulder of his amputated arm. “I know. Have to say though, it was a hell of a bomb plan, Pluto looked it over, really incredible stuff, we, would suggest burning the notes before Norman his hands on it, but they’re really good even if the other guy came up with it for evil and all that.”

“Pluto,” Dr Connors muttered then looked around taking in a sharp breath, “I didn’t hurt her, did I?”

“Oh no,” Eddie said pointing out the mess of covers atop his round lounge across from the couch Venom stretched the scientist across. “Has to leave for the parade in two hours. I couldn’t sleep, promised to watch you.”

Dr Connors nodded and stole a glance at the wrinkled sleeve hanging off the end of his amputated arm stump to let out a sigh. “Back to the drawing board.”

Eddie chuckled and he looked up to see your brother shake his head, “Oh, you really, don’t get it.” And he reached out to the end of the loose sleeve to ease it up his arm parting the man’s lips seeing his arm a few inches longer nearly to the elbow.

“How…?” he asked frailly.

“Well, Misique was able to split your genetic codes, only well, she sort of tripped your regeneration button thing on the way out. Pluto really can explain it better than I can. But, the monitor is on your temple there,” he said tapping the headband the scientist now felt acutely aware of at a notice of the wire dangling from it. “Pluto put on a blocker for your pain receptors,” dropping the man’s jaw causing Eddie to wave a hand. “Just sticks on, non invasive. Threw out my back once and it works wonders, trust me. Thing is the regeneration is painful, and it’s gonna take some time so we have a friend who is gonna house you in Spain and you can wait out the arm growth there.”

“But, my research. How am I going to explain this?”

Eddie’s head ticked to the side, “You got a team for watching your spiders, and well you can always say Misique burned your notes or messed with your formula is a deviously secretive way, or something. But, you’re um, gonna want to avoid getting hurt in the future.”

“Why?”

“Well you had a two inch deep gash on your thigh and it healed in ten minutes. You got super healing buddy, blessing and a curse. Plus no telling if you’ll age so SHIELD might want to have a chat down the line but um, again, you can always pin it on Misique. She’s pretty reliable like that.”

“Why did she do this?” Dr Connors whispered and his eyes dropped, “I, broke one of the most sacred of lines between science and creation, I played god. Why wouldn’t she leave me as a lizard to punish me?”

“Well because lizard you was edging towards evil. And she’s got a huge thing about more than necessary predators in a territory, huge on balance, would have had to introduce a new food source, or call for a hunting season. Then with how the military is they’d just blow up the city anyways and call it a day killing the people who didn’t grow a tail and possibly not harming the lizards, we really don’t know how resilient that guy could have been. But he’s dead now, and you’re you again, with a new limb that isn’t a tail.”

Eddie said smiling at the scientist who couldn’t help but chuckle and take a sip of the tea. “While Pluto’s at the parade I’ll drive you over to where you hid your stuff, your place to pack, then the airstrip and we got a nice list of excuses we drafted up if you need help with that. Bet you have tons of time off saved up and you just take all the time you need.” Eddie smiled again and all Dr Connors could do was relax, at least for a few moments until he had to wonder just how painful this change would be without the device and just how he might have reacted to have had you put the device on him in the first place to ease his suffering.

*.*.*

“Okay, this is cool,” Peter muttered to himself. With an armful of stuff he had dug out the back of an electronic store dumpster of things to turn in for credit not the latest generation of tech. Cool stuff could be made out of each of them to continue his latest stream of income to fix and sell the things online.

On the cusp of December there was a surge of goods to dig out of the snow littered dumpsters. Over his bed the items were laid out only on the drift of his eyes to the far right he caught a glimpse at his mysterious backpack. Five times now he had thought he lost that by not knowing when trash day was where he would leave it only to return back to his room and find it inside his bedroom against the wall under the window he crawled in and out of. Still he had no clue on who was bringing it back as his aunt was clueless, having been searching for him at sight of it inside his open bedroom before, only causing him to fumble out a story making him feel worse at the spare lies he had to tell.

“Alberforth Mercury Hedgecrofterson,” Peter muttered to himself, reading the name off the bank mail he picked up from his new p.o box under that same name. Each time he read it only made it seem more ridiculous, although once he opened he envelope he pulled out a burner phone he had for this account as well to activate the card inside to have access to the account. Funds from new tech flipping job was meant to help raise his night life to a new level.

Five sets of his sweatpants and hoodies for his costume had to be made up for replacements due to tears or complete splits of the material that had him on the prowl for a new costume. Dog eared, a sheet within a notebook a website was saved, and an hour later after some work on his mostly completed project he posted a notice on that to his page for sale then typed up the new website for the material. Just like bobsledders the stretchy supposed resilient option to clothe himself with was ordered in red and blue with lengths to spare. Question of who could make his own costume at a skilled level to last longer had him order more in black and yellow to offer as payment to his hopeful tailor in this matter.

Sheepishly he did hand off the material when Misique had agreed amusingly to the task had by means of a body scan had accurate measurements and started to use the same bees to begin design ideas he helped to make up the costume he would anxiously await this upgrade to his image as a fellow masked vigilante.

*.*.*

“It’s a bit, pirate,” you said, trying on the jacket to your new costume.

That hung over the pants that hinted more towards chaps. The gifted sporting material laid over sections of your metal that strapped on down your legs up to a belt holster to sit over your usual heavily pocketed pants that would supply the pockets for the chaos that has hidden openings between metal panels to allow access to said pockets. The yellow and black material in alternating diagonal and horizontal strips would contort and shift your natural leg shape to something closer to a bee’s from the front and back to hopefully hide the weak points you could get shot and wounded at, as well as hopefully confusing the aim of people with only seconds to fire your way.

A simple turtle neck top in yellow and black layered with more holsters and pockets would be layered with a flat breastplate to connect to a plate for your back as well, both in what Vibranium panels you had the energy to make this week stitched between layers of your metal to triple enforce your torso at least. The black jacket with buttons you took a good while to choose the perfect design of bees to press into the silver your hive printed hugged your arms and flared out from the waist with a larger lapel that would hide a waterproof hood in case of rain on stakeouts.

Embroidered golden patterns of honeycomb helped to hide the openings for spare grappler chords and blades down the sleeves that felt a bit tight at first over your bee metal arm braces but loosened up to rotations of both limbs. The jacket would sit open, being stitched to a black vest that had more pockets and holsters and allow free range of hand motions to reach back and draw out the axes that rested over the back of your hips. “I’m a pirate in chaps.”

“I love it!” Eddie said and gave you a tight hug making you giggle. “And it’s so bright, tons of metal packed in, or at least a good fifty pounds of it. Much better than the double weighted old Kevlar.”

Venom oozed out to say, “This suits you better, Sister. Now none can compare to your style or stamina.”

“Just hope Peter won’t mind the improvements on his mask.”

“Boy was racing around in goggles, you improved his focus no doubt and he won’t have to stop if it fogs up on him like wither the clowns. Difference between scurrying away and being shot in the thigh.”

Again you turned to see all the angles of your new costume and sighed, “I can hear Stark and his puns now.”

“Oh he’s got no pun game over a swashbuckling bee,” he said making you smirk, “You could make one of those freeze and lightning guns you’ve been tweaking into a canon.”

“I could. Definitely could. No one would see the canon coming.”

“Especially if you make it really small and they’re all confused at you setting it down then running to hide before it just blasts a huge hole in something.” His chuckles blended with yours in the game of imagining new obscure weapons while you worried slightly at having the more figure flattering silhouette layers to have you less of a blocky body shape than your old armor.

Still sixteen you didn’t want the attention Black Widow got online when she was seen in her leather jumpsuit tactical gear. But at least for your comfort the jacket would cover your rear end and the chest plate would conceal the curve of your bust just leaving from the knee down to be ogled shamelessly by those who only cared to know the shape of flesh under your layered armor. The gloves however to your tries to improve the gap between fingers the new armored backs had a finger on each hand a bit stiff that would take more tweaking and have you don your old pair for the night delivery.

Loudly Spidey gasped, fully in his new suit, having changed inside one of the empty buses in the lot you had agreed to meet him in for the trade off. “You even improved the face mask.” Soft whirs barely audible to either of you showed expression in the eyes to shrink and grow disguising his natural eyes and help to filter light and air quality when needed.

“I can make a new one with goggles if you get nostalgic.”

And firmly he gave you a tight hug, “I love it! Thank you so much! So much better than I could have ever done!”

“Before I forget, belly pouch,” that had him gasp.

And exclaim, “I have a belly pouch?!” He asked easing his fingers into the hidden pouch accessible on both sides of his abdomen layered with some of the bee metal you shared you’d layered onto the abdomen, back and limbs. “Where else do I have pockets?!” The front of his hips had one each and down the thigh were two small pockets in a line going down to the shin with one on the inside and outside of his lower legs like the hidden pair on the inner and outer forearms that had him hug you again.

“I would never send you out without pockets.” You said and he pulled back again bouncing on his toes.

“This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten! And I’m really jealous of your coat!” He said circling you making you giggle.

“Didn’t realize it was so piratey till I finished.”

“Pirates are awesome! Are you kidding?” He said stopping in front of you and bounced again, “Can we go try them out? Or make a video? Or do both? Can we do both?!”

And with a giggle you answered, “Alright, we can do both. Just have to get home soon, have an early morning tomorrow.”

“Absolutely!”

*.*.*

“Arr you kidding me, Bee? Pirate?!” Tauntingly Stark had gone after your new suit on his social page before he went to a meeting in the morning, the latest of the continuing saga of terms to be founded for the Heroes of the Avengers to abide by on future missions.

After which he could only scoff in seeing your response to the taunt, “At least my abs aren’t etched on my armor.”

“Oh this is war,” he muttered heading to his gym, “You want abs, I’ll show you abs, Queenie.”

*.*.*

Across the counter as you whipped up a breakfast for you Chester read the open letter you got from Sweden. Mentally he shared the text that this was a notice that the research company your parents worked with and still were trying to recreate their work had petitioned to have you noted as emancipated in Sweden.

Normally this would not be done by a third party, but as the patents and files your parents left behind were sealed and solely belonging to you they were unable to help anyone. And since the blip the greatest cause of death in Scandinavia now was genetic disorders that gradually broke down various parts of the body, the main focus of your parents’ life work. In unlocking your status as a minor there they could in the least offer up payment to borrow the knowledge of the patents or notes left behind for a designated time to get the study back up and actually turning their wheels instead of stuck in the ditch.

Within the notice as you loaded up your plate you were told was a form you could return to the office this was sent from to inform a judge you did not wish to be involved within any emancipation case, as it most likely would require a trip back to Sweden to have it concluded in person. That was where you were stuck however. In delaying the process people could suffer and die. While in waiting as well you could have no access to prove you had completed the work your parents had dreamed of to reproduce the solution your father had created to test amongst others on your mother. Who showed marked improvement to daily function and no sign of Wilson’s disease in her blood before she died proving in time she could have regained most if not all of her lacking bodily functions the disease had imposed upon her.

You knew how to make more. And had even built a small portable machine to help adapt the process even quicker than standard machines available today in practically all genetic labs. Within the same day of arrival you could prove its worth and have a research group study to impose the compound upon donated tissues and genetic samples to prove it irradiates the diseases. A first step to eventual human trials to one day have direct treatment for anyone who can make it to the office it is supplied at once proper genetic standard of being was reached as far as vitals went to soften the blow of the whopper of a medicinal dose to said patients.

You would just have to go home. The last word echoed in your mind as you tried to picture the office you had been taken to a few times where they dropped by when your parents weren’t inside their home lab. Some reason every room you toured in your memory the walls shifted to be coated in paisley paper even though you knew it to be mainly green forest portraits on wallpaper. From Buster however you realized at his buzz he was sharing it was the paisley tie man being seen in the street corner in his usual morning stroll to work that had you hurry to finish getting ready as you were going to be late.

“Hey!” off the ladder up to a rooftop you hopped onto the roof to find a money bag wielding individual in a striped shirt and corduroy pants turn. His body halfway morphing to sand readying to fight only to pause at the glint of gold in your palm and dangling from it off the chain linked to the locket he had dropped. In just a hat, jacket, t shirt and jeans with boots barely able to keep from sliding on the slick fresh slushy snow coating the roof you moved closer. “Dropped this.”

“You aren’t afraid of me?” he assumed to have just thought the words and not spoken them only to notice your smirk in the shift of the chunky braid laid across your chest gathering more loose snowflakes as they fell.

“She isn’t, why should I be?”

You asked and he let out a wry chuckle, “You’re that girl, the one who knows Venom.”

“That’s me,” you said as he timidly leaned in to let you secure the necklace around his neck so he wouldn’t drop it again. “You should take Helm to 35th.”

“You aren’t even going to ask?”

“About the money?” you asked and he nodded. “Alright, since I must, why?”

“I borrowed money, Penny, she was sick. Misique helped get her better. No more bills or, insurance hassles. Brand new marrow. But, I borrowed money before, I got locked up, they’re trying to take our home.”

“Well, anyone asks, I came up for the moonlight.” You said making him chuckle, “I am a Pagan after all. Wild about moonlight and just mad as a hatter.” With a giggle you turned to peer up at the moon granting him a signal to continue on his way, for your blind observance to the sound of sand pooling over the side of the buildings he crossed to get the distance.

This wasn’t the first one you had let off the hook who owed loan sharks from prior debts before your medical overhaul, and often you had taken to going from loan shark to loan shark to gain names of those who owed and amounts to help find means to pay off those debts. Often mints with pools of cash to be destroyed was an easy fix, and often they really didn’t care, when you got involved they were known to forgive those with reasoning like this man’s.

A bird overhead had you turn in its warning that a colorful male had come up behind you, the bird knowing by the red leather that was taken as a mating tactic to allure females by his bright colors here to face off with your navy blue jacket and hat clad self. “Daredevil, right?” you asked halting him in his try to chase after Sandman while Spiderman rounded up a group of petty car thieves who had distracted him not far away.

“Yes, are you hurt?”

“No,” you said moving closer, “Could I ask you a few questions?”

“Miss, I’m currently trying to apprehend a criminal.”

“Sandman, I know. But I think I might have a bigger fish that could require your skills than a man paying off a loan shark.”

“Loan-,” he sighed, “This is the fifth guy this week I’ve ran into on those damn sharks. Let me guess, medical bills?”

“Baby girl needed a transplant,” you said making him turn away a moment groaning to himself mid flex of fingers around his red cane he had been gripping to not drop. “Up for a walk?”

“Where we headed? And what sort of questions did you mean?”

“Well, my brother’s a reporter,”

“I don’t-,” he said falling silent at your hands resting on his arm above the elbow to guide him back to the ladder.

“Not about you, more a tap of a sort of mindset to help with a general feel for the city in a wider piece. All anonymous, mind you.”

“I’m listening.” He said actually growing more intrigued at the story the more you walked to where you found a warehouse with some real criminals in good use of a fear of a certain devil to be put in them since you were nowhere near to your place to change.

The sun set early these days as winter went on and right to the theater you went to change and be helped into costume making note of all that was said to hand over to Eddie afterwards when he would pick you up. Grateful as ever more notes to add to a bigger backsplash of a story would be pooled and savored by your big brother, who over a supper afterwards while he rubbed your sore feet and legs to help coax what he knew you were holding in since first receiving that letter the other day.

Tears were a given, flooding from years of fear for what might happen if you ever went back to Sweden or your hometown again. As if your return meant more people closest to you were doomed when you did. Even with a man eating Symbiote inside of him you were afraid of losing Eddie for what you truly felt to be a second murder of your causing. To be completely alone again to face the unknown chaos drawn to you, and surely with this letter more was on its way.

Pt 37

#Escaped Child Assassin #Eddie Brock #Venom #Dr Connors #The Lizard #Spider-man #Peter Parker #Tony Stark #Ship repairs #WhoMan #Secret Identities #Sandman #Daredevil #New Suits #Side Hussle #Marvel

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turtlethon · 3 years

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Turtlethon Entries 1 - 192: A Handy Guide

Below are links to all 192 Turtlethon entries in (mostly) chronological order - a complete listing of our journey through Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

SEASON ONE (Syndication, December 1987)

1. S01E01 "Turtle Tracks" 2. S01E02 "Enter the Shredder" 3. S01E03 "A Thing About Rats" 4. S01E04 "Hot Rodding Teenagers from Dimension X" 5. S01E05 "Shredder & Splintered"

SEASON TWO (Syndication, October - December 1988)

6. S02E01 "Return of the Shredder" 7. S02E02 "The Incredible Shrinking Turtles" 8. S02E03 "It Came from Beneath the Sewers" 9. S02E04 "The Mean Machines" 10. S02E05 "Curse of the Evil Eye" 11. S02E06 "The Case of the Killer Pizzas" 12. S02E07 "Enter The Fly" 13. S02E08 "Invasion of the Punk Frogs" 14. S02E09 "Splinter No More" 15. S02E10 "New York's Shiniest" 16. S02E11 "Teenagers from Dimension X" 17. S02E12 "The Cat Woman from Channel Six" 18. S02E13 "Return of the Technodrome"

SEASON THREE, PART ONE (Syndication, October - December 1989)

19. S03E01 "Beneath These Streets" 20. S03E02 "Turtles on Trial" 21. S03E03 "Attack of the 50-Foot Irma" 22. S03E04 "The Maltese Hamster" 23. S03E05 "Sky Turtles" 24. S03E06 "The Old Switcheroo" 25. S03E07 "Burne's Blues" 26. S03E08 "The Fifth Turtle" 27. S03E09 "Enter the Rat King" 28. S03E10 "Turtles at the Earth's Core" 29. S03E11 "April Fool" 30. S03E12 "Attack of Big MACC" 31. S03E13 "The Ninja Sword of Nowhere" 32. S03E14 "20,000 Leaks Under the City" 33. S03E15 "Take Me to Your Leader" 34. S03E16 "Four Musketurtles" 35. S03E17 "Turtles, Turtles, Everywhere" 36. S03E18 "Cowabunga Shredhead" 37. S03E19 "Invasion of the Turtle Snatchers" 38. S03E20 "Camera Bugged" 39. S03E21 "Green with Jealousy" 40. S03E22 "Return of the Fly" 41. S03E23 "Casey Jones - Outlaw Hero" 42. S03E24 "Mutagen Monster" 43. S03E25 "Corporate Raiders from Dimension X" 44. S03E26 "Pizza by the Shred" 45. S03E27 "Super Bebop & Mighty Rocksteady" 46. S03E28 "Beware the Lotus" 47. S03E29 "Blast from the Past" 48. S03E30 "Leatherhead: Terror of the Swamp" 49. S03E31 "Michelangelo's Birthday" 50. S03E32 "Usagi Yojimbo"

SEASON THREE, PART TWO (Syndication, December 1989)

51. S03E33 “Case of the Hot Kimono” 52. S03E34 “Usagi Come Home” 53. S03E35 “The Making of Metalhead” 54. S03E36 “Leatherhead Meets the Rat King” 55. S03E37 “The Turtle Terminator” 56. S03E38 “The Great Boldini” 57. S03E39 “The Missing Map” 58. S03E40 “The Gang’s All Here” 59. S03E41 “The Grybyx” 60. S03E42 “Mister Ogg Goes to Town” 61. S03E43 “Shredderville” 62. S03E44 “Bye, Bye, Fly” 63. S03E45 “The Big Rip-Off” 64. S03E46 “The Big Break-In” 65. S03E47 “The Big Blow Out”

SEASON FOUR, PART ONE (Syndication, September 1990)

66. S04E01 "Plan Six From Outer Space" 67. S04E02 "Turtles of the Jungle" 68. S04E03 "Michelangelo Toys Around" 69. S04E04 "Peking Turtle" 70. S04E05 "Shredder's Mom" 71. S04E06 "Four Turtles and a Baby" 72. S04E07 "Turtlemaniac" 73. S04E08 "Rondo in New York" 74. S04E09 "Planet of the Turtles" 75. S04E10 "Name That Toon" 76. S04E11 "Menace Maestro, Please" 77. S04E12 "Superhero for a Day" 78. S04E13 "Back to the Egg"

SEASON FOUR, PART TWO (CBS, September - December 1990)

79. S04E14 "Son of Return of the Fly II" 80. S04E15 "Raphael Knocks 'em Dead" 81. S04E16 "Bebop and Rocksteady Conquer the Universe" 82. S04E17 "Raphael Meets His Match" 83. S04E18 "Slash - The Evil Turtle from Dimension X" 84. S04E19 "Leonardo Lightens Up" 85. S04E20 "Were-Rats from Channel 6" 86. S04E21 "Funny, They Shrunk Michelangelo" 87. S04E22 "The Big Zipp Attack" 88. S04E23 "Donatello Makes Time" 89. S04E24 "Farewell, Lotus Blossom" 90. S04E25 "Rebel Without a Fin" 91. S04E26 "Rhino-Man" 92. S04E27 "Michelangelo Meets Bugman" 93. S04E28 "Poor Little Rich Turtle" 94. S04E29 "What's Michelangelo Good For?" 95. S04E30 "The Dimension X Story" 96. S04E31 "Donatello's Degree" 97. S04E32 "The Big Cufflink Caper!" 98. S04E33 "Leonardo Versus Tempestra" 99. S04E34 "Splinter Vanishes" 100. S04E35 "Raphael Drives 'Em Wild" 101. S04E36 "Beyond the Donatello Nebula" 102. S04E37 "Big Bug Blunder" 103. S04E38 "The Foot Soldiers are Revolting" 104. S04E39 "Unidentified Flying Leonardo"

SEASON FIVE, PART ONE (Syndication, March 1991)

105. S05E01 "The Turtles and the Hare" 106. S05E02 "Once Upon a Time Machine"

SEASON FIVE, PART TWO (CBS Saturday mornings, September - November 1991)

107. S05E03 "My Brother, the Bad Guy" 108. S05E04 "Michelangelo Meets Mondo Gecko" 109. S05E05 "Enter: Mutagen Man" 110. S05E06 "Donatello's Badd Time" 111. S05E07 "Michelangelo Meets Bugman Again" 112. S05E08 "Muckman Messes Up" 113. S05E09 "Napoleon Bonafrog: Colossus of the Swamps" 114. S05E10 "Raphael Versus the Volcano" 115. S05E11 "Landlord of the Flies" 116. S05E12 "Donatello's Duplicate" 117. S05E13 "The Ice Creature Cometh" 118. S05E14 "Leonardo Cuts Loose" 119. S05E15 "Pirate Radio" 120. S05E16 "Raphael, Turtle of a Thousand Faces" 121. S05E17 "Leonardo, the Renaissance Turtle" 122. S05E18 "Zach and the Alien Invaders" 123. S05E19 "Welcome Back, Polarisoids" 124. S05E20 "Michelangelo, the Sacred Turtle"

SEASON FIVE PRIME-TIME SPECIAL (CBS, August 31, 1991)

125-A. S05E21-A "Planet of the Turtleoids, Part 1" 125-B. S05E21-B "Planet of the Turtleoids, Part 2"

SEASON SIX (CBS Saturday mornings, September - December 1992)

126. S06E01 "Rock Around the Block" 127. S06E02 "Krangenstein Lives" 128. S06E03 "Super Irma" 129. S06E04 "Adventures in Turtle-Sitting" 130. S06E05 "Sword of Yurikawa" 131. S06E06 "Return of the Turtleoid" 132. S06E07 "Shreeka's Revenge" 133. S06E08 "Too Hot to Handle" 134. S06E09 "Nightmare in the Lair" 135. S06E10 "Phantom of the Sewers" 136. S06E11 "Donatello Trashes Slash" 137. S06E12 "Leonardo is Missing" 138. S06E13 "Snakes Alive!" 139. S06E14 "Polly Wanna Pizza" 140. S06E15 "Mr. Nice Guy" 141. S06E16 "Sleuth on the Loose"

"VACATION IN EUROPE" SIDE-SEASON (CBS Saturday mornings, September-October 1993 - first aired in Europe in 1992)

142. S07E01 "Tower of Power" 143. S07E02 "Rust Never Sleeps" 144. S07E03 "A Real Snow Job" 145. S07E04 "Venice on the Half-Shell" 146. S07E05 "Artless" 147. S07E06 "Ring of Fire" 148. S07E07 "The Irish Jig Is Up" 149. S07E08 "Shredder's New Sword" 150. S07E09 "The Lost Queen of Atlantis" 151. S07E10 "Turtles on the Orient Express" 152. S07E11 "April Gets in Dutch" 153. S07E12 "Northern Lights Out" 154. S07E13 "Elementary, My Dear Turtle"

SEASON SEVEN (CBS Saturday mornings, October-December 1993)

155. S07E14 "Night of the Dark Turtle" 156. S07E15 "The Starchild" 157. S07E16 "The Legend of Koji" 158. S07E17 "Convicts from Dimension X" 159. S07E18 "White Belt, Black Heart" 160. S07E19 "Night of the Rogues" (Part 1) (Part 2) 161. S07E20 "Attack of the Neutrinos" 162. S07E21 "Escape from the Planet of the Turtleoids" 163. S07E22 "Revenge of the Fly" 164. S07E23 "Atlantis Awakes" 165. S07E24 "Dirk Savage: Mutant Hunter" 166. S07E25 "Invasion of the Krangazoids" 167. S07E26 "Combat Land" 168. S07E27 "Shredder Triumphant!"

SEASON EIGHT (CBS Saturday mornings, September-November 1994)

169. S08E01 "Get Shredder!" 170. S08E02 "Wrath of the Rat King" 171. S08E03 "Cyber-Turtles" 172. S08E04 "State of Shock" 173. S08E05 "Cry H.A.V.O.C.!" 174. S08E06 "H.A.V.O.C. in the Streets!" 175. S08E07 "Enter: Krakus" 176. S08E08 "Turtle Trek”

SEASON NINE (CBS Saturday mornings, September-November 1995)

177. S09E01 "The Unknown Ninja" 178. S09E02 "Dregg of the Earth" 179. S09E03 "The Wrath of Medusa" 180. S09E04 "The New Mutation" 181. S09E05 "The Showdown" 182. S09E06 "Split-Second" 183. S09E07 "Carter, the Enforcer" 184. S09E08 "Doomquest"

SEASON TEN (CBS Saturday mornings, September-November 1996)

185. S10E01 “The Return of Dregg” 186. S10E02 “The Beginning of the End” 187. S10E03 “The Power of Three” 188. S10E04 “A Turtle in Time” 189. S10E05 “Turtles to the Second Power” 190. S10E06 “Mobster from Dimension X” 191. S10E07 “The Day the Earth Disappeared” 192. S10E08 “Divide and Conquer”

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molluskwritesfic · 3 years

Text

Where the Roses Grow - Chapter Six

The compound on Arvala-7 didn’t house one bounty, but two. Elsi Nokk is an enslaved nanny with more than a few tricks up her sleeve. She’ll do anything to protect her charge, even if it means standing against - and then with - a certain Mandalorian. Rated M.

@kyjoraven @killtherandomness @nova646

This story can also be found on Ao3 and Fanfiction.net

Masterlist - First Chapter - Previous Chapter - This Chapter

Chapter Six

Elsi wasn’t entirely sure if she was conscious or not.

It certainly didn’t feel like she was asleep, but she definitely wasn’t awake either. She could still feel her injuries; her spine, her head, and everything else - they hurt - but from far away, like remembering the pain of a childhood injury.

Then, all at once, she was absolutely awake.

Reality grabbed her in a burst of steam and light. Her legs weren’t prepared for the rest of her weight, so she crumpled straight to the ground - or at least she figured that it ought to be the ground, because she had absolutely no sense of up or down.

A soft noise, a panicked half-gasp half-cry burst from her unbidden as she fought to regain her bearings. It was hard though, because she really couldn’t see much of anything. Her vision was fogged over like window panes on a cold morning. She tried squinting through it, but it didn’t help.

Her heart was pounding wildly, but she swallowed down her panic, recalling what she knew about Carbonite and the accompanying sickness. Her sight would clear soon. She just had to be patient.

But patience wasn't exactly something she could afford. The heavy binders that were being snapped around her wrists were evidence enough of that.

Elsi stopped struggling when a pair of strong hands gripped her shoulders and shifted her bodily out of the carbonite harness. She slumped against the wall, resting her head against the cool metal of the Razor Crest’s hull and closing her eyes. Through the metal, she could still feel the hum of the engines - still in flight, then. But not for long, according to the subtle jolts and rumbles that made her stomach twist. Flying through a planet’s atmosphere was never as smooth as the emptiness of space.

Tiny hands clutched at the hem of her dress. Elsi opened her eyes to see the muddled green and brown shape of the child standing by her legs. He cooed. Concerned.

No matter the situation, Elsi always had a smile for him. With shaky hands, she picked him up and brought him to her chest - albeit awkwardly, on account of the cuffs. His fuzzy little head bumped against her chin. He hid his face against her neck, purring to let her know that he was alright.

Elsi sighed and held him close, savoring these precious few minutes she had left with him.

The baby chirped happily, oblivious to - or perhaps uncomprehending - her despair.

By the time the Mandalorian came for them in the hold, Elsi’s vision had returned. She was peeved to see that the bounty hunter seemed none the worse for wear. Where she was bruised and trembling, he stood steady. But then again, only he knew just how much damage the armor hid.

“It’s time to go.”

The baby laughed when the Mandalorian plucked him out of her arms and placed him back in his bassinet. The hunter then took Elsi by the elbow and pulled her to her feet. Although she had no choice in the matter, he was careful not to hurt her, holding her steady while she reacquainted herself with her balance and not urging her forward until he was sure she wasn’t going to pitch back over.

The hatch opened to reveal a planet of volcanic rock and black sand. The shipyard where the Crest had landed was just beyond the gates of a rough looking town of stone. The other ships in the shipyard were much like the Mandalorian’s - tough, but broken and cobbled back together so many times that they looked as if a well-aimed kick would knock them down.

The Mandalorian nudged her onto the ramp, keeping a firm hold on her upper arm.

“You don’t want to do this,” Elsi urged. It was the closest she would ever come to pleading. “They’ve wanted him for a long time. His life means nothing to them. They’ll kill him if it suits them.”

The black visor stayed fixed on the town ahead. She didn’t think it was because he didn’t sympathize with her - if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have insisted on the removal of her collar - but she also knew that sympathy wasn’t enough. The Outer Rim was hard and unforgiving, and so were the people who lived there. Elsi was a survivor, and it had driven her to try and take the Mandalorian’s life. The Mandalorian was another survivor, and it was driving him to turn them in.

She tripped on the rough ground, her weakened body overbalanced and she nearly collapsed. The Mandalorian paused, arm snaking around her waist to prevent her from hitting the ground.

Elsi went for the knife in his boot. The vibroblade slashed upwards, biting viciously into the Mandalorian’s side. In a perfect world, it would’ve been a clean stab, and the bounty hunter would’ve bled out fairly quickly, but the awkwardness of the binders caused the angle to be bad, so it only left behind a shallow gash.

With a grunt of pain, the Mandalorian shoved her away before she could inflict more damage. Elsi hit the ground hard. The Mandalorian was quick to wrest the knife from her hands.

Elsi gasped when he grabbed her by her bound wrists and dragged her back to her feet. By now, there was no doubt that whatever sympathy he’d harbored for her was gone; and Elsi was done pretending to ask for it.

When he tried to urge her forward once more, she fought. She threw her weight backwards, trying to catch him off balance; she tried to bite the arm that held her, with moderate success. By the time they made it to the gate, Elsi had dragged what should’ve taken maybe two minutes into almost ten, and she really and truly was on what she thought might be her last legs.

She was exhausted. The side of her face that had been smashed by the Mandalorian’s helmet was swelling, and thus throbbing and hot. The back of her head felt even worse. Not to mention the mild carbonite sickness that swirled in her stomach, unhelped by the fact that she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had anything to eat or drink. Still, she fought on.

The Mandalorian managed to keep his composure, sticking with the tactic of impassively tugging her forward while she struggled, but Elsi could feel his patience wearing thin. She wouldn’t have been surprised if he just went ahead and shot her to save himself the trouble. Hell, she wouldn’t have blamed him. But he didn’t. He didn’t draw his blaster. He didn’t try to hurt her - quite the opposite, in fact.

When she stumbled, he caught her every time.

The baby watched all this with wide eyed bemusement, ears flapping in the wind, not knowing what to make of it all.

In town, she continued to struggle, making the Mandalorian battle for every step. It was pointless, she knew. Even if she managed to slip him, she wouldn’t be able to get the baby, too. And if somehow she did, he’d catch up with them before they made it off world, but she’d be damned if she was going to make it easy.

Finally, Elsi found the end of the hunter’s patience.

“Stop it!“ the Mandalorian snarled. The hand that was curled around her upper arm tightened like a steel band and jerked her roughly to the side.

A soft grunt escaped her as her back collided with one of the stone walls. The Mandalorian’s free hand pressed firmly against her sternum, holding her in place. He towered over her, menacing, crowding, cornering. A wall of beskar hiding her from the rest of the town - from the baby.

She could hear the child twittering nervously from somewhere over the Mandalorian’s shoulder.

Elsi tried to break his grip by ducking sideways. The hand on her sternum relocated to the base of her throat.

“Will you just - ”

The other people passing through the narrow street gave the pair a wide berth. The slave didn’t bother calling out to them for help. She knew how it worked. If anyone cared about a battered woman getting manhandled, they weren’t about to challenge a Mandalorian on her behalf.

Instead she scrabbled angrily at the hand that was putting just a bit too much pressure on her neck and fought to twist out of his hold on her arm.

“Hey!” The Mandalorian gave her a rough shake to remind her that he could make her stop struggling if he wanted. When her gaze finally snapped up to meet his visor, he continued.

“You keep this up in there, they’ll kill you,” he warned, modulated voice lowering so that only she could hear. “They’ll off you as soon as you're more trouble than you’re worth. You cooperate, you’ve got a shot at walking away.”

Elsi curled her lip in disdain, eyes flashing.

“Your concern is touching,” she sneered. “They’re going to kill me either way. I’m a slave. My life is nothing. What are they going to do with the baby?”

He might’ve opened his mouth to respond, but whatever explanation or retort he might’ve had was cut off with a pained groan. Something gripped at his back, rippling unnaturally up his spine from hip to neck, and dragged him backwards.

The Mandalorian staggered back a few steps, struggling to whirl around to face his attacker. When he managed it, he found the space behind him empty, save for a floating pram. The pram’s inhabitant was reaching towards them with a chubby, three-fingered hand, large eyes narrowed in concentration.

The Mandalorian gasped as the invisible hand tightened its grip, testing the hold. As his spine creaked, both adults were suddenly hyper-aware that the child could snap his back like a twig, vertebrae by vertebrae.“Hey! Don’t - ”

The baby had taken to the Mandalorian quickly, but now the tiny green creature didn’t seem so sure. He released his hold upon hearing the fear in the Mandalorian’s tone, but then turned his expectant gaze towards his surrogate mother. The child’s ears were flattened against his shoulders when he reached in her direction with a frightened squeak.

Elsi, now free from their captor’s grasp, made a beeline for the baby. She smoothed the fuzz on his head and pressed a kiss to his wrinkled brow. The baby patted her cheek in reciprocation and responded to her reassuring murmurs with soft chirps.

Guilt washed over her like a wave. It wasn’t the first time the child had used his abilities to protect her, and every instance signified a failure on her part. She was supposed to protect him, not the other way around. Even when she couldn’t, it was up to her to make him feel safe and secure. What had she been thinking, flailing around like that? Doing so had done nothing to change their situation, and now the baby knew that they were in trouble.

She didn’t want him to be afraid. Didn’t want him to worry. That was her job.

The nanny nuzzled the top of his little head and breathed deeply, relishing in his familiar earthy smell combined with the stiff soap from his last bath. She let it wash over her senses. Drawing strength from it and committing it to memory. They would be saying goodbye soon, if they weren’t already saying it now. Probably for good. No matter which of them died or which survived, she didn’t want him to remember her by her fear.

Her dignity - especially in the eyes of the child - was all she had left.

So when the Mandalorian, seemingly unshaken by the baby’s actions, prodded her in the back to get her moving, she did so with her head held high.

She didn’t beg or plead when they arrived at the thick steel door sequestered away in an alley - the Mandalorian had made it clear that this delivery was non-negotiable, and she wasn’t in the habit of repeating an action if it wasn’t sensible. She didn’t flinch when the sensor shot out from the wall. Didn’t cower when the shabby stormtroopers crowded around the trio and herded them into the dark corridor beyond.

The corridor was hot. Oppressive. The air stale. Heavy boots clunked on the dirty floor, stirring up dust that tickled Elsi’s nose and threatened to make her sneeze.

The baby squeaked for her, dark eyes wide and nervous. She leaned forward slightly to catch his attention and offered him a soft smile - which he returned.

The trooper behind her jabbed his blaster none-too-gently into her back, causing her to stumble a step.

“Take it easy,” the Mandalorian warned, voice low and imposing in the stifling air.

“You take it easy,” the Stormtrooper snapped in reply.

They were led to a brighter, but equally dingy room that looked to be a repurposed warehouse. An old man hunched at a desk, ignorant to the smell of mildew and rust. The man’s face sagged with age, sullying what probably had once been proud, angular features. The only hair he had left was stiff and white, plastered to the sides of his head, leaving the top wrinkled and bald. He first surveyed the entourage with the disdain born of false superiority until his sharp, beady eyes picked out the green baby floating at the Stormtrooper’s hip. Despite his advanced years, the old man immediately stood and hurried over to the pram, waving a blinking tracking fob around in front of the bewildered child.

“Yes. Yes. Yes,” the man muttered to himself with an excitement that - based on the curious tilt of a nearby stormtrooper’s helmet - Elsi assumed was uncharacteristic of him.

Elsi came to stand beside the cradle, flanked by the Mandalorian - something she was momentarily grateful for. She resisted the urge to fiddle with her cuffs as another man - younger than the first, with tinted glasses and dark, decently groomed facial fair - crossed the room to hover by the old man’s shoulder.

The baby whined when the younger man scanned him, squinting when the bright red light shined directly in his eyes. Neither man took notice of his discomfort.

“Very healthy,” the younger man commented, voice soft with fascination.

Elsi’s insides shivered when the old man fixed her with his cold, watery gaze.

“Its caretaker is to be commended, then.” Although the words themselves were not unkind, they made her skin crawl. The old man’s presence alone invoked a visceral emotion, the same she might feel seeing a snake in the grass. “I imagine it has not been easy… caring for a child in these trying times. And even more trying circumstances.”

She fixed the Imp with her best pleasantly-blank gaze, and said nothing.

Thankfully, the man’s attention turned to the Mandalorian. “Your reputation was not unwarranted.”

“How many fobs did you give out?” The Mandalorian’s voice was as soft as ever, but the irritation in it was anything but.

The tension in the room thickened. The baby whined.

A sneer twisted the old man’s thin lips. “This asset was of extreme importance to me. I had to ensure its delivery. But to the winner…”

The old man paced back to his desk. He reached around the back and extracted a large white, cylindrical case. It was set on the desk with an impressive clunk, showcasing the weight of its contents.

“... go the spoils.”

The Mandalorian’s head ticked minutely to the side, betraying his anticipation. The press of a few buttons and a twist of the handle caused the case to beep and hiss, and the sides fell away to reveal bars of metal, neatly arranged in dual stacks that gleamed brightly in the murky light.

The bounty hunter left her side with slow, measured steps, leaving Elsi with the baby, a Stormtrooper, and the scientist that was still hovering over the bassinet. He picked up two of the bars carefully and examined them with a sort of reverence that didn’t seem entirely justified for any currency.

Elsi made the connection. Beskar. No wonder the Mandalorian had been so bent on the exchange. She didn’t know much about Mandalorians, but she wasn’t oblivious to the importance of Beskar. Even without taking the cultural value of the steel into consideration, it was a massive amount of credits. A small fortune, at the least.

I was right, Elsi mused. The payment in its entirety was clearly for the baby. Her value had been bartered and exchanged before her eyes a number of times, and she doubted it was equitable to a single bar.

“Such a large bounty for such a small package,” the old man confirmed.

The scientist wrapped his hand around the edge of the baby’s bassinet and urged it into motion. Elsi tensed, ready to follow, but was halted by a threatening prod from the Stormtrooper to her left. The Mandalorian turned his head and watched the baby as he was carted through a side door leading deeper into the facility. The child was looking anxiously over the edge of its crib, to Elsi.

She hated that she had no way to reassure him.

When the scientist and baby were safely out of sight, the old man flicked his fingers toward the Stormtrooper. The trooper nodded and took Elsi’s arm in an iron grip. He shoved her forward and she had no choice but to comply as she was steered towards another door, one different to the one the baby had disappeared through.

The Mandalorian’s visor glinted in the artificial light. Fixed on her, now. She didn’t try to find the meaning behind the set of his shoulders and tilt of his head, though she passively registered that it might be regret. As far as she was concerned, he was no longer a part of the equation. So whatever amount of guilt he was or wasn’t feeling was of no consequence to her. Guilt might be a bit much to expect. Maybe he was just thinking about how good it felt to fuck her and disappointed that he wouldn’t get to do it again.

The thought didn’t amuse her.

Not that her opinions mattered, anyway. She was ushered out of the room and into a slightly better lit hall. The door slid closed behind her, heralding the end of her brief, almost-freedom.

Not that she had expected anything else.

~0~0~0~ .

#the mandalorian #Mandalorian #themandalorian #mandalorian x oc #mandalorian x reader #din djarin x oc #din djarin x reader #din djarin #grogu #baby yoda #star wars #starwars #mando x reader #mando x oc

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clara-licht · 4 years

Text

You’ve Gotta Be Kidding Me

You woke up in a familiar place with Marvel actors staying there. Or at least, you thought they were actors...

Pairing: The Avengers & Reader Genre: Platonic, general Word Count: 1.9k Note: This is an edited version from my old work in deviantart where the idea is you somehow met the Avengers, but you thought they were the actors instead. It’s been a while since I last wrote something so this was a nice refresher! I got a Peter Parker imagine in works right now, though.

When you opened your eyes, you instantly regretted it.

"Ugh!"

You shielded your eyes from the burning light. When your eyes finally adapted to the lightings, you took in your surroundings. You were in a familiar room. But you didn't think you've been there before. It just that you thought you knew this room. It was quiet, but not dead quiet. You kept looking around you in silence, until a voice startled you.

"Good morning, miss."

"Who's there?!" You immediately jumped out of the bed you'd been on.

"Please do not be alarmed. My name is FRIDAY, an Artificial Intelligence created by my boss, Anthony Stark."

Hearing this, you scoffed. FRIDAY? Anthony Stark? Okay, this was either a dream or someone was pulling prank on you. "Yeah, right. And I fell from the sky to SHIELD's Helicarrier, saved by Captain America, and was treated by Dr. Bruce Banner in Stark Tower. Or is it Avengers Tower?" You said sarcastically.

You got to admit; you loved Marvel. Even if you were pretty sure Endgame also ended your life as you knew it and you couldn't accept a lot of things that happened in that movie. Like Steve leaving Bucky for Peggy, who he knew already had a fulfilling life and children? Nonsense. Far From Home was also quite heartbreaking, seeing your favorite character, Peter Parker, going through a lot like that. You just re-watched it a few days ago and had a good cry about it. Or was it weeks ago? Or hours ago? Wait, why were your memories foggy? You couldn't remember what happened before you woke up in the room.

"Are you okay?"

It took a moment for you to regain your composure. "Yeah, I'm fine. So, care to explain what happened? You can't be the real FRIDAY. As much as how I wanted you to be, FRIDAY only exist in Marvel Universe. Where is this? How did I end up here? What happened? Who are you and what do you want?"

"One moment."

You raised an eyebrow. Now she intended to make you wait? Whoever that guy who pretended to be FRIDAY was, her voice could seriously pass as Kerry Condon's.

A sound of door sliding open made you turned around. And God did you not regret doing it.

"OH MY GOD. ROBERT DOWNEY JR?!"

"Who?" The vertically challenged man, who clearly was Robert Downey Jr. a.k.a Iron Man actor, frowned. Now you didn't care if it was a prank pulled by your friends. You got to meet Downey after all!

"Oh God, are you really?! What did I do to deserve meeting you?!" You started squealing.

"Hey, FRIDAY? Are you sure she's not mentally broken? She hit her head quite hard, didn't she?"

"Yes, boss. I ran full scan of her and right now the amount of dopamine in her brain is increasing- indicating that she's happy. Aside from that, I am 100% sure she is fine."

It was your turn to frown. "What? What scan?"

Downey chuckled and looked at you. "Follow me."

Slightly confused, you followed him.

❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊

"So… Mr. Downey?" You called.

"Who is this Downey that you keep speaking of?"

"You, of course!"

"Well," He lifted an eyebrow as he inched closer to you, "my name is Tony Stark. Feel free to call me Tony, not that name of someone I don't even know about. I've never met someone who don't know about me before."

You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes. "Well, Tony," You emphasized his name, "if you keep insisting on playing the whole Iron Man act, then I will play along."

"Play?" He mumbled, face now confused. But he decided to say nothing as the elevator dinged and you two exited the cramped lift. He led you to a spacious room. On your way, you looked around. Now you knew why it felt familiar. That place was designed close to the Avengers Compound in the movie. Whoever did this prank, they really outdid themselves.

"And here we are!"

"What took you so long, Tony?"

"Brother Anthony! I see that the lady has woken up!"

"Oh, she's awake."

"Hey, Cap! That girl you saved is awake!"

"She is?"

You gaped.

No.

Freaking.

Way.

"Now I'm sure I must be dreaming." You muttered.

"What was it, sunshine?" Downey, you mean Tony, asked with that annoying smile. "So! Let me introduce you to-"

"Chris Hemsworth, Jeremy Renner, Scarlett Johansson, Elizabeth Olsen, Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Ty Simpkins and oh my god it's Tom Holland and Tom Hiddleston. Yes, I know their names, thank you very much." You mumbled under your breath. "

"Okay, dear lady who seems to know whoever name that you've mistaken us for, I will correct those names for you." Tony sighed. "Meet Thor and his brother Loki who finally decided to stop being a menace after almost dying in the hand of evil purple ball sack," he gestured to Hemsworth and Hiddleston.

"Those two scary assassins over there are Clint Barton, known as Hawkeye, and Natasha Romanoff, or Black Widow," then he pointed at Renner and Johansson.

"Wanda Maximoff, also known as Scarlett Witch." Olsen hesitantly waved at you.

"Capsicle, Steve Rogers, and practically-his-boyfriend, Bucky Barnes." Evans looked at Tony disapprovingly while Stan nodded politely at you. "Usually they got a third guy, Sam Wilson, with them, but he's currently visiting his family."

"And lastly, my interns, Peter Parker and Harley Keener. Vision and Banner are somewhere in this Compound."

You scoffed again. "This might be the best time to wake up. Okay, wake up!" You close your eyes and started shaking your head. "Wake up!"

"What are you doing?" Renner, or Clint, asked.

"Why can't I wake up?" You mumbled. You slapped yourself, hard. "OW! DAMN, THAT HURTS!" Your eyes widened.

"It… hurts? So this is not a dream?" Blinking a few times, realization dawned on you. "Oh, this must be a prank. Alright, you got me. What the hell happened to me earlier and who organized this prank?"

Tom Holland looked up and raised a hand, "I can answer that!"

"Nope, you just stay there quietly, Underoos. Take it away, Cap." Tony said, followed by Holland pouting.

What a cute guy. Wait, no, focus!

Evans stepped forward, "I believe I can answer that."

He started explaining that when Peter (nope, it's Tom Holland, it's got to be Holland) was running on the tracks outside, he saw something falling out from the sky at a rapid pace. That something turned out to be you, who were unconscious at the time. Alarmed, he caught you (no, that doesn't make sense, IF I was really falling that fast, he shouldn't be able to catch me that easily without any of us injured) and called for help. They brought you inside and got Doctor Helen Cho (again, that must be Claudia Kim or something) to check you and she cleared you out. Apparently Doctor Stephen Strange (seriously, they got Benedict Cumberbatch here too?!) came by earlier to check you as well and deemed you non-dangerous, so they let you stay in one of the rooms in the Compound until you wake up.

"Ha, nice story, Captain. Come on, be serious here for a second!" You shook your head, "The Avengers isn't real, okay? They're just fiction! A made-up story! As much as I would love for them to be real, they only exist in Marvel Universe and thank goodness Sony and Disney kinda made up and let Spider-Man stays in MCU because otherwise I won't know what to do! Besides, there's just no way someone could have super powers like-"

"You're scared," Olsen stated softly, "I understand. But I know you somehow feel comfortable standing here with us. You recognized us as someone that you knew, someone you actually trust. You… You somehow feel at ease and want to believe us, although your mind keeps telling you that you're dreaming and this is a prank by your best friend (f/n). You're not, this is not."

You took a step back. It suddenly seemed dangerous to be in that room and whatever ease you felt (yes, she was right, you did feel comfortable for some reason) left you immediately. "Okay… I don't know how know that, but clearly there must be something wrong here…"

"Something wrong indeed." Hiddleston sighed in his attractive British accent as he, who was supposed to be sitting on the couch beside Hemsworth, walked pass from behind you with a bottle of coke in his hand.

"I-I thought you were there!" You pointed at the couch.

"I was."

"Then how-"

"It's not hard to teleport, mortal."

"What-"

"Are you okay? You look pale." Renner, who you started to believe was the real Clint Barton, walked towards you.

"No! Stay where you are!"

"Miss-"

You slid down and sat on the floor, pounding head in your hands. "This is not real. It can't be. It can't be. It can't be…" You whispered over and over again in between your short breath. Your heart was racing and your whole body started shaking.

"Miss, take a deep breath-"

"SHUT IT!"

"Boss, the lady seems to be in distress and starting to show symptoms of panic attack."

"Shit. Hey, hey, come on, breathe slowly-"

"I'm sorry, is this the wrong time to come?"

A new voice made you turn around, only to see a weird person with red and green skin wearing a shiny cape coming in, followed by a big green figure.

"V-Vision?" You croaked out.

"Uh, yes. Do I know you?"

And that was the cue for you to pass out.

❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊

"You've gotta be kidding me."

"We're not."

"But there's just no way-"

"And there's just no way for you to come from a dimension where it seems so peaceful."

"It's not peaceful! War still happens!"

"Yes, but no outer space threat? Really?"

"It's just a fiction!"

"Well it's not. Look at Loki."

When you regained your consciousness, you were still surrounded by some the Avengers. The real Avengers. It made you accept the fact that it was not, indeed, a dream.

"So, I fell out from the sky," Peter nodded. "and this is the Avengers Compound." He nodded again. "You all have no idea what happened to me since Dr. Strange, Maximoff, Stark, Thor, and even Loki knows nothing." They nodded. "And I can't even remember what happened before it!"

"Hey, we'll found out about it." Vision said reassuringly.

"How do you know that I'm not evil?" You asked.

"He's worthy of Mjölnir, and he can see pass you. He knows." Thor said with a smile.

"Besides Strange said you're fine. Maximoff also doesn't feel any threat coming off from you, and Peter's tingle-" Tony stopped himself, "Uh, I mean, Peter is good at sensing bad people and he's fine."

"Are you sure you can help me regain my memory?" You asked, ignoring the little blunder. You must tell them what you knew later and asked about the timeline. Tony mentioned 'evil grape ball sack' which definitely meant Thanos, but he was alive, along with Natasha and Vision, so there must be something different.

"With all our might."

"How?"

"Well, let's start with you telling us your name."

"It's (y/n), (y/n) (l/n)."

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owl-quill · 4 years

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Human AU Strange Magic Karaoke Evening.

Who sings Mean Green Mother From Outer Space, menacing whom?

Discuss?

***

I like the idea of Scary Biker Bog getting on stage, some people realising the guy seems to have some sense of humour when they recognise the song by the first bars... and then Marianne jumps on stage, steals the microphone, and sings it at him, he plays along, leading to a slow chase through half the bar, and everyone has fun.

He gets on stage again later with Power Of Love by Frankie Goes To Hollywood, and it’s glorious.

#Music #Karaoke #Little Shop Of Horrors #Strange Magic #my posts

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nvcl347 · 4 years

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G-man x Female Reader : Toll

When all she had on her mind was the trickling sentiment of eyes at every ridge of her view, the impending false sense of security submerged her room, immersing her with it from head to toe. She was stalking her room for hours in series, anticipating a clandestine company that never arrived at her door. Contrary to her belief, she wasn’t expecting the visitor. The visitor was awaiting her.

Every gait aligned itself to the pulse of a silent clicking pandemonium, fretting every moment for the clock to strike its bell and holler out the final toll. She was so focused on the paragon of her saunter, she omitted the wavering of her breath, shuttering like a plucked acoustic string thawing out a rich, fading octave. There were moments where a clutch of oxygen seemed to persist for minutes apart, striving to savor the last few flutters of life’s air she had.

The sensory feeling of punctured pleasure spiked through her inner evergreen of nerves, jolting her fingertips with energy and rushing her feet with adrenaline. Acclivities of goosebumps rose about her exposed forearms in coalition with the individual, yet myriad threads of hair rising on every edge, twist, and turn of her skin. Each part of her body seemed to have its own sentience with a distinctive scream which beckoned her of nearby danger. The awareness of dread loomed over its appealing touch, sparking the strongest urge to run for her lasting days than she had ever before. Someone had entered the room with her. The one wall holding the inherent multitude of voices back was her head.

Still as stone, stiff as a statue; She refused to move. The one thing that her obstinate, impulsive instinct didn’t know that her head did was the adverse consequence of running. She was better off cultivating a chamber to her head if she had the chance, but there was nothing she could do. Lightweight objects and blissful swaying fabrics rose in the air as anti-gravity relapsed the area around her, and a tall daunting presence approached her from behind through the home of his shadows. A wounded mouse, pricked to an intricate snare, caught red-handed. If there was a hint of sensible mercy to be found, even a morsel of it, she would have felt it. But the feast was swept bare and clean of its dining, and the leftovers were fed to dogs. There was nothing left for her to provide or to be provided. The clock struck the hour, and the bell has rung.

“I would have commended you of your efforts-- Ms. (L/N)-- if you had not made them so dire,” it was the one voice in the world that truly distraught her to the thicket of her bone. It was treacherous and inhuman, yet the words conveyed were distinct and concise. Sharp rests and lingering pauses almost felt like notes he stalled to scrutinize her immediate appearance. The verdict of her survival was held just out of reach. He affirmed no wish in addressing her toll just yet, unclear of whether it was by his executive behalf or of his intimate muse. The air sucked itself out of the room she stood in and emptied into the vacuum of vacant space. Everything around her engulfed into his dark umbra until there was nothing that could be defined in its shade, left to wander the void that was his home. A peculiar miasma of weariness seeped through her head as if she’d traveled infinite miles to the sun and back in the period of only a few seconds.

“The apprehension inside of you seems to... undervalue the adverse circumstances you have spawned for my employers,” the judge of her fate articulated, looming right behind her shoulder and taunting to her ear, speaking towards the left yet hearing… and feeling it through her right. She refused to move even a modest length by her heel. His chest ever so slightly pressed against her shoulder blades, wrenching her guts inside out with a raucous, shuddering wheeze she didn’t realize she let out. An inadvertent rush of alarming rapture jolted through her veins to back away, but she dared not move from where she was. A rasping, malevolent snicker escaped his lips, casually leaning away from her in order to circle forward to where she stood at her front. An act of relishing meaning so little to a predator yet so much to prey.

She found that his footsteps were so consistent with themselves to the extent that he must have attained more value in studying his own rhythmic pace than he found in her character at all. The internal trembling sensation clattered her to the gist and stripped to the outer skin for him to see as distinguished as the illuminating ebony of a harvest moon.

The pale of his facial grimace rooted to the palms of his wrists, gently stroking between each other in the suspense for something he’s been waiting to ascertain this moment for a massive remote age of his time. He paused himself to contain his thoughts as he stopped in front of her line of sight. He has never presented himself in further immediate, direct influence and control over an individual than he has now.

“They have entrusted of me to, do away of your presence by means without authoritative jurisdiction. Your performance of deviance, although admirable, has dragged you into a pit of... profound consequence I’m afraid I cannot assist in leverage,” her form was laughably dwarfed by his size, forcing her to crook her head almost up to the ceiling to face his gleaming turquoise eyes if she tried with the petty vitality of courage she had. Her teeth chattered like drums in her head at the fleet tremolo of her anxious respiration. A forced retreat of a foot from behind her settled no advanced measure away from him as he stepped forward in his satin Oxfords. The tender pat of his footwear solely was audibly louder than her own panting gasps, forwarding the coercion held inside her chest at a knife on one’s throat. The single act alone was enough to split her emotional cage into two.

An intangible energy hauled the pitiful martyr to her knees as her legs melted away into the water of her coaxing tears. A trivial act of mourning for empathy, something he’d never undergone from a hire before. The soft gleam in his sea-green optics repulsed attentively, examining the display before him as all but a licensed dismissive, yet intriguing in the slightest. A meager hum encapsulated through his senile throat as he arched himself over her cowering, diminutive form. From her perspective, stating it was too close for her alluring amenities would be an exceeding understatement.

As his profile drew near, the touch of chilling hoarfrost punctured at her skin. His navy executive attire exalted the enigmatic aura which seemed to timelessly encapsulate him like a dense, secluded bubble she’d crossed within. The bitter draft nearly congealed her watering eyes into place, but just enough to steady their progress down her swollen jowls. She scorned to gaze directly at him by her own will, bestowing upon him the scarce sum of rebellion she had left inside her wilted core.

“Such a delicate spirit couldn’t bear the rash opposition of your careless actions,” his head tipped to its side, treating himself the manifestation of sympathy with tenacities as genuine as a puppet show. He leisurely delivered forward his chilling, ivory hand, relaxing the flat edge of his knuckle hinges below her jawline. A maneuver avowed so benevolently, yet the intention concealed beneath its tender surface did anything but console her situation. She seized a rigid swallow lighter than a feather caressing the draft of the area around them. Every hint of muscle movement endeavored to hinder less than a single spark from igniting a harrowing fuse. She nudged his hand away out of mortification to draw herself back, only to be promptly tailgated by the fleeting switch of a fixed, almost painful grip on her chin. He could press the flustered clatter of her teeth against his fingertips, a noticeably venerable appearance of his exposed features formulating a benign yet sinister grin.

“I would consider yourself of good fortune, Ms. (L/N), as my employers are not so tolerant of hires as I am myself... Perhaps this brief exchange between us will formally bestow your place,” as he expressed his honest ambitions towards her, he slowly mounted his hand against her mandible, raising her head up to his for a face-to-face discussion. As a genuine nexus clasped between their two lines of sight, his eyes flashed in tone once again, locking her in a trance that confined her of any moveable suspension. It was as if she was staring into the eyes of a living sleep paralysis demon from her childhood, somehow impossibly more menacing than its form of a dark, slim silhouette; A devil’s advocate, now free of his fiery shackles and roaming autonomous of hell’s cavity.

“I cannot withdraw your line of hire unobstructedly without a form of, well-- discipline, for the mess of work you’ve caused,” the faint graze of his chuckle against her face twirled her locks of hair as it did her sense of sanctuary to smothering extents, choking it dry of whatever was left of it in her prior. Every hint of forthcoming inclination directed towards her was cunning and calculated. No matter how she attempted to crook and tie her path for herself, he knew precisely where and when to take her to reach his desires from each stray she exerted.

Softly, she clenched her eyelids shut as the indivisible set of nerves she had restraint over in her body, thrusting a tear to escape from her swelling socket. Dripping onto the palm of his hand, he was quick to retract his grip in candid wonder. A heavy, deep breath revoked through her nostrils as she exhibited physical control emancipate through her once again, not daring to move in the state he had left her in before. Inspecting what had made contact with his skin, his sneer dissolved into a twitch of his muzzle as the tiny droplet of emotion flowed about the dead facade of his flesh. A melodious hum escaped his lips in consideration, resonating deep in the back of her mind as if it had emitted from all around her. Tilting his wrist at an angle rippled the water away into a state of vapor, sweeping into air’s fluttering garments around them. Lowering his hand, his attention glimpsed back to her, whose eyes were still closed but had proceeded to quiver after gaining control over herself again. Naive and fragile as a newborn, trapped inside a young woman. The body has grown but the nature has not.

A sharp, pitched breath seeped through him as he fixed himself to his proper posture, leaning away from her frightful profile. His eyebrows furrowed into an unapologetic glare, taking a brief time of himself to study her figure from neck to toe. He allowed for hands to gradually drape at his sides, dulling out of her line of sight as he adjusted his tie into place.

“I am sorry to say that I could not find a more suitable place for you to stay without… excruciating pain involved and endured. As a consequence, however, your time spent here will transpire much, much longer than you may find solace in,” his omniscient voice spoke around her from every which way she could turn her head. He seemed to peek into a snowglobe housing a poor nuisance inside who could not see him through the glass above.

“I assure you, my dear, this will not be the last time we cross paths. But in the meantime, I have others waiting on my watch I must attend to...”

Sensing a change in presence, she finally peered through to what was in her front line of sight with utmost hesitance in her choice. What was a puffed chest of fear suddenly converged into a sensory overload of confusion. He’d disappeared, not a trace of him left except for the memory stapled into her head. A quick glance to her back to check her surroundings found him nowhere at any angle of her position. She was truly alone.

It didn’t take much for her to jolt for her feet, who’d solidified the courage to support her weight once again. Her breath was sparse and fleeting as she tried to keep up with its pace, but it felt as if it had been running miles for hours without a chance of letting her ever catch up. Her hands gripped into twitching fists, swallowing a bite of pride she could snatch from the air. Her teeth nearly snapped like twigs as they clenched together in pure and remote agitation. He was playing with her like a child’s Christmas toy. Choking on her own sob, she stuttered to herself the first words she could manage to voice through her lips to him.

“H-- hey! Where did you go!?” her voice cracked on itself as everything began to disintegrate around her into a fretful weep.

They never reached him.

“Don’t! Please god don’t leave me here!” as her wails left her to dissociate into an empty space, her lips began to tremble. She covered her mouth with the palm of her hands, hiding her disordered lament from a source nowhere to be seen. It was a void hell disguised as her limbo, isolated from all worlds, all dimensions. An empty pocket universe, built as all but a cage that only he had access to. Not even his employers knew of its existence, nor could it ever come of their reach.

The clock struck the hour, and the bell has rung twice. The G-man has woven the toll.

It has been five years since (Y/N)’s verdict.

#half life #gman #writing #g-man #gman x reader #x female reader #x reader #half-life #half life 2 #half life alyx #half life 1

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praphit · 4 years

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SM3: Nice Jerks are the Worst

I don't know about y'all, but I had big plans for 2020. Now, maybe those big plans will still happen, Idk. But, this was supposed to be our year! - that's what people say, right?? This was the year that you were going to go on that vacation. You were going to drop that dead beat spouse, leave that spouse with the kids, and run off to Mexico, right??!. You were going to start that business. Gain that weight. Come out of the closet. Finally tat that left butt cheek. You were going to stop doing hardcore drugs. Maybe this was going to be your year to start doing hardcore drugs. I'm not here to judge, only to ramble.

But, 2020 quickly turned to shit. Now, we're all looking for someone to blame. Someone has to pay for our horrible haircuts or hairiness, our newfound hatred for our families, and for plenty of much more serious stuff.

I, personally, like to turn to movies for lessons about life. And I think I have the perfect movie to help us figure out who to blame - you guessed it "Spider-Man 3"

This first attempt at a motion picture SM was doing so well. We loved Spidey (though some didn't care for Tobey Maguire, playing him).

Spidey and Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) are adorable. Then, this thing showed up and everything turned to shit (not unlike Covid-19).

Let's look into what went wrong, and who is to blame.

First, let me say that I really liked the action in this movie. There are three villains in this movie: Venom (played by Topher Grace), that thing you see above.

Green Goblin (played by James Franco), who is... a green goblin.

And Sandman (played by Tommy Church), who has a body that is now kinda made of sand - which seems silly if you pick it a part... though so does a man with the powers of a spider.

There was lots of action, and it was all shot well. There is one action scene where there is NO ONE around... I mean NO ONE. It's frickin NY. Peter Parker (not dressed as Spider-Man) and Green Goblin are causing all kinds of damage and making a lot of noise, and not ONE new yorker has anything to say about it? Unless you're a healthcare worker, I bet new yorkers are still cursing at each other from their homes. This was glaring, but Imma let it slide, cuz the action was good.

That's about all of the good I have to report:)

Quick plot recap:

1) MJ and Petey are on the rocks 2) James Franco is an asshole, trying to destroy Peter for killing his father (which he didn't) 3) Venom is trying to kill Spidey (what else is new??) 4) Venom, at one point, infects Peter Parker, to become "Black Spidey" - this, of course, is also when the people of the city started to hate him.

5) Oh, and Peter, mm! He's the worst. I've got something for him later.

There are two major reasons why people talk shit about this movie.

1st - Casting/Characters

Nobody is likeable in this movie

From the very first scene, MJ is singing to us, annnnd it's sooooo boring. I don't think it was supposed to be. Someone in the audience should have been booing. We can’t just allow entertainers to get comfortable, thinking that they can do whatever the hell that they want! - that’s how you end up with stuff like this

It was like, if Snow White were to perform a number for a large crowd.

Just Snow White - I ain't talking about no cute animals around or the suspense of menacing dwarves that might turn on Snow White at any moment. Not even a prince who might be gay (that’s the word on the streets). Just a long movie filled with songs from Snow White; that's what we're talking about. First, MJ bores me, then she's pathetically whining throughout the whole movie.

Sandman is cool (despite his love for striped shirts), but we don't really get to know him.

Side note: He gets his powers by accidentally getting trapped in a science experiment. The scientists, btw, ( And Lord knows what they were up to) knew that something could have been trapped in there, assumed it was a bird, and kept on going. See, this is why certain people don't trust y'all.

James Franco is James Franco (an asshole). Not worth a pic.

Venom doesn't really have a personality (and his host... well, he ain't no Tom Hardy)

PLUS, Peter Parker is a dick (again, we'll get to that later).

The most likeable person in this film is JJ Jameson, and we're not really supposed to like him.

A person with that look shouldn’t be your most likeable character.

Look at this stage -

Who is likeable up here? Fauci, maybe? But, betting by the amount of times that he puts his hands to his face,

- there are things he's not allowing himself to say, so though perhaps likeable, if we can fully trust him. And as far as Trump... Even Trump supporters can't HONESTLY say that they LIKE the man (I mean, if he weren't the prez, would you honestly want him around? - your family?). They certainly can't say that they trust him - though I guess the amount of people looking into ingesting cleaning products after Trump mentioned something along those lines, would beg to differ.

This is the group we're looking to for direction?!

And this is also a problem in the movie. I have to be able to like SOMEBODY!

I need to be able to trust someone to stop the cheesy-written shit storm that is this movie.

"Cheesy Shit Storm" - how bout that for a visual? :)

2nd - dance numbers!

I actually didn't mind the first one, when Peter is dancing through the streets.

Ha! Wow, he is going for it. Come get it while it’ s hot, ladies!

It's odd, but it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be funny, and it kinda is. You ever dance a lil bit while you're out at a store? I know I do; especially now that we're wearing pandemic masks - no one knows who I am. NBD to dance a bit in public, but if you keep going passed a certain point, it just becomes annoying.

That's why the second dance number is bad. Plus, it doesn't make any sense.

At this point MJ and Peter have broken up. She's singing in a bar, and Peter interrupts her song with a dance number (while using his new girlfriend to poke at MJ). Now, While MJ’s songs of boredom deserve interruption, she didn’t deserve that.

Venom is like a drug. Venom brings out the worst in a person. You're telling me that Peter Parker, with all of the rage built up from Uncle Ben and villains and his life not being all that great; the best or I should say "the worst" that he can do is Jazz hands? With all of his superpowers, he should be out there slaughtering everyone in sight. I mean, he did slap the shit out of MJ though (by "accident"). That's when he snapped out of the evil dance number. I don't know what kind of message that sends.

"MJ, it wasn't until I slapped the holy hell out of you that I realized the error of my ways, so... thank you? I'm just going to go on about my day now."

I see this misguided scene as a metaphor. Peter Parker is dancing around his issues:

His relationship with MJ has been bad. He's on that stuff (Venom). And honestly, MJ knows that he's Spider-Man. Why couldn't he have just explained to her what was happening?

"Sorry, baby. I got possessed by an alien again, you know how it is."

And he was dealing with the fact that the person who killed his uncle is on the loose. Another side note: MJ, even though they had just broken up, still cares for Peter while he's dealing with the news about Uncle Ben's killer. That's a damned good friend right there! - especially the way Peter had been acting towards her.

We've got to deal with stuff, people! We can't just get bad haircuts, wear weird clothes, and do drugs! Eventually, that will lead us to slapping the shit out of someone that we love. There are a lot of realities that we're prob not facing at the moment (and some we prob have no intentions of ever facing). A lot of things that we could have done to prevent certain things from escalating, but... we were busy doing our typical dance.

Peter was warned about Venom and did nothing about it. He told himself, "I got this", and clearly he didn't. Honestly, the whole city was screwing up by not helping Spider-Man at all. At the end, when the big fight is happening, and MJ is near death, everybody is just watching all of this go down. Where were the cops?! The S.W.A.T?! Other superheroes? New Yorkers themselves! - they're bold! But, to be fair, Venom came from outer space, so... it was a bit unprecedented; people were prob scared. I'll cut them and Spidey some slack.

You know who I won't cut any slack - Tobey Maguire's Peter Parker!

Peter Parker is a jerk. I'm thinking that Tobey's Peter Parker has always been a jerk; a nice jerk, but a jerk. Have you ever met a nice jerk? They do all of the things that a regualr jerk does, but they'll rationalize their behavior, and look puzzled when you react to their awfulness. I didn't notice this in the 1st movie, cuz I was just happy to get Spider-Man. I didn't notice in the 2nd movie, cuz those kids were just too darn cute. But, his niceness was so annoying in this movie. And he treated MJ horribly : He never listens to her, he’s always late, he only talks about himself, he’s too damned nice, he never knows when they’re in a fight, he kisses other women right in front of her and then is like “What did I do?”

I kept wanting her to punch Peter out; he would have deserved it.

The foundation of the character of the 1st Spider-Man was a problem from the start! If the foundation is shaky, then - whew! I'm glad that we finally fixed it:)

Plus, he never said he was sorry. He did one of those "Well, I'm not perfect." things. She ain't asking for perfection, just quit being a jerk!

A better movie would have been if MJ had been infected by Venom. For starters, she would have given a better performance, in the beginning. Something more like this -

She would have banged Peter's friends. She would have destroyed her critics. And most importantly, she wouldn't have taken any shit from Peter. That could have been the main plot. Instead of a convultued blend of three villains around the nice jerkiness of Peter, it would have been Spider-Man vs MJ - beatening each other up all throughout the city; though I guess that would be considered domestic violence. But, why dance around real issues out there!

It could have been a family-friendly movie about drug abuse (Venom) and domestic violence... and possibly some make-up sex in the middle of the city. But, after that, one of them, if not both, are going to jail! We gotta deal with the problems, people!

Grade: an entertaining D+

I did enjoy it. It wasn't as bad as I remember it, and I'd prob watch it again. But, I can't deny that on a technical level, it's crap.

"Who’s to blame?" isn't really the question. It's more "Who deserves what percentage of the blame?" There's a lot of blame to go around here... even to us who enabled Peter's jerkiness in the first two movies.

I like the direction that we're going in now.

A better Spidey A better MJ Better villains

And even a better Aunt May

- looking all good with Tony Stark.

- imagine Tony aggressively flirting with the older one

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elusive-roetato · 5 years

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Concept for my Twoey

Note: Just planning colors, not textures. Drool will be made using either hot glue or gloss varnish. there’s gonna be more teeth and probably a much more menacing mouth

Also, just out of curiosity, do you view Twoey as male or female? It switches for me. I tend to think of it as female more often, though, because of “Mean Green Mother From Outer Space”

#lsoh #little shop of horrors #roe doodles #roe scribbles #digital painting #audrey ii #audrey 2

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digital-elixir · 5 years

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Digital Thoughts - Earth Defense Force 5 - PS4

Story? In my EDF? Ha! In all seriousness, EDF has never been one for a deep story. In this version, we reboot the series once again as no one on Earth in this universe retains previous knowledge about Aliens. Suddenly, strange creatures appear from outer space and even underground!

It’s up to the Earth Defense Force to eradicate and demolish all foreign entities. You begin as a lowly soldier and eventually work your way up to the ranks of a full-fledged EDF member, one of Storm Team no less!

EDF has never been one to have astounding graphics but that never bothered me. The textures and draw distance exist to process the games ludicrous amount of chaos. That being said, the visuals from a PS4 Pro standpoint are great! Colors are vivid and punchy, giant spiders look menacing, huge humanoid frogs have purple eyes, battle damage appears when shooting giant ants, green chunks fly off and give a truly visceral feel of carnage.

Character models are detailed and I particularly love the explosion effects which pop with bright oranges and yellows. Buildings crumble and fall apart and if you look closely, you can see tiny mock ups of stores in Japan like a Beef bowl shop, or a clothing and accessories department.

Shooting and movement feel the best it has ever been. The core loop is simple yet again – pick a stage and destroy everything that moves, collecting as much health, armor and weapons as you can. I absolutely love the weapon level growth system. If you collect a duplicate of any weapon, you can upgrade the statistics such as damage, range and number of projectiles to a certain threshold. This means if you find a particularly good shotgun but it has terrible accuracy, simply level the weapon up and it will improve substantially.

Each class have their own unique trait. Soldiers sprint and while doing so, have a radius in which they can collect weapons, and health. When collecting health, it will heal any allies under his command. Wing Diver can dash boost in the air and use her boost to recover from damage. She is much more agile and attaching advanced batteries will extend her energy pool offering a more diverse range of playstyles. Air Raider is much improved. He can now summon airstrikes, orbital strikes and many other useful summons as ammunition instead of building meter. Fencer is much more agile and also has a fantastic arsenal of weaponry to blast foes. NPC allies are smarter, more aggressive and have much more health than in previous versions. New and returning enemies are here and stronger than ever.

Full stop, the EDF5 Main theme is the best it’s ever been in the series. It retains the bombastic, celebratory triumphant style all while incorporating elements of the Theremin instrument which when mixed together, pumps you up to shoot some giant bugs! “Domination Time” is a high energy theme which plans when you’re close to beating a level after a huge struggle. I always relaxed a bit when hearing this as it means reinforcements are here to help clean up the remaining enemies. It also has a great guitar solo.

“Online Lobby” music is criminally underrated. This piece is fantastic and I would venture a guess most people haven’t listened to it in its entirety. “Invader” fits the name of this piece well. It’s intense and constant. The haunting choir chanting in the background is terrifying, ominous and unknown. You truly feel in the shoes of a solider fighting an uphill battle against an alien presence.

EDF 5 has a gargantuan amount of replay value. Not only are there 5 difficulty settings, (with later ones offering a greatly altered experience), but there are 100+ stages which doesn’t even include the two separate DLC packs. Combine that with 5 separate and extremely unique classes to pick from, you could play this game for hundreds upon hundreds of hours and never become bored.

While It doesn’t play like a full blown sequel, EDF5 house plenty of welcome enhancements. In a way it feels more like a refined, remastered version of EF4.1. I never tire of the grind as each stage rewards another unique weapon to obliterate aliens. I can’t wait to see what EDF6 will be like. I’m hopeful for more classes, customization, RPG elements, varied enemies, vehicles and weapons. If you have any interest in the EDF games or simply enjoy blasting the hell out of giant spiders, ants and robots, look no further. EDF5 is right up your alley.

#EDF #earth defense force #sandlot #ps4 #video games #bugs

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does-this-look-inanimate-to-you · 6 years

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Little Shop Songs, Ranked

(Note: I included songs from both the show and the movie. I won’t be using ant of the deleted songs. Also, this is my opinion. Don’t feel like you have to agree.)

20. “Somewhere That’s Green (reprise)”

Very easy. It’s not that I dislike the actual song, but it is undisputedly the saddest song in the show.

19. “Do-Doo”

It’s not a bad song. I just think it’s boring. Not much to say here.

18. “Suppertime”

This may come as a surprise. It’s pretty popular in the fandom. I never really liked it. It’s just one of those songs I don’t like for no reason, y’know?

17. “Don’t Feed The Plants”

I like the point of the song, and I like how the main five characters (Mushnik, Seymour, Orin, Audrey, and Twoey) are used in the show, but I’m not a fan of the film version, and it just has an odd feeling to it for me.

16. “Mean Green Mother From Outer Space”

This was a hard one to put so far from #1. I do like the song. I put this here because of what I’ve heard about the director’s cut version of it. I just don’t like imagining Seymour being toyed with before he is eaten. He doesn’t even get his heroic demise he got in the show.

15. “Dentist”

Sorry, guys. It makes me uncomfortable, and I HATE Orin Scrivello, with a passion. Why is it ranked higher than MGMFOS? Characterization. That is all. And it makes me hate Orin, and there’s something I like about that. Props to the writers.

14. “Some Fun Now”

This one isn’t too bad. It’s a fun song. I just think it’s repetitive. That’s my only criticism.

13. “The Meek Shall Inherit”

I know this fandom likes this song a lot, and I think it’s okay. I like the movie version because it’s shorter and gets to the point (in the deleted version). I think the show version is way too long, and has a lot of fluff.

12. “Ya Never Know”

This one is superior to “Some Fun Now.” I like the song more because it’s less repetitive. It’s so far back on this list because I need to make room for other songs.

11. “Prologue/ Little Shop of Horrors”

It’s a total bop. It’s only number 11 because there are songs I like more. That’s all there is to it.

10. “Now (It’s Just The Gas)”

This is one of the songs that’s only in the show. I think it’s a great way to hear Orin go out, even though I prefer his last moments in the movie more. But it’s a great death scene, probably my favorite.

9. “Sominex/ Suppertime II”

I like the suspense in the song, and Audrey II’s slightly menacing tone of voice. Plus, Seymour saving Audrey at the end is perfection (even though it doesn’t wORK IN THE DIRECTOR’S CUT AND IN THE SHOW!)

8. “Call Back In The Morning”

It has a lot of fun energy to it, and it’s kinda fun to listen to. Singing both characters back and forth is a blast.

7. “Closed For Renovation”

It has a similar energy to CBITM. I like it a tad bit more because of the part where Audrey shows concern about Seymour’s injuries.

6. “Feed Me (Git It)”

Both versions of the song, movie and show, are pretty fun. It’s definitely a bop.

5. “Mushnik and Son”

This is definitely the most comedic song in the show. Mushnik is a despicable character, but I think this song is really funny, and Seymour is a Pure Boy the whole time.

4. “Grow For Me”

This one means the most to me sentimentally. I’m attached to it. I sing it whenever I feed my fish. Call me a dork, but it’s special to me.

3. “Skid Row (Downtown)”

I really like this song. It’s perfect exposition, it’s catchy, it’s a bop, and it introduces the characters perfectly.

2. “Somewhere That’s Green”

It’s such a beautiful ballad. I’m not sure if I like the movie or the show version better. I love the visual in the movie, and the words are so sweet, yet so sad. It made me fall in love with Audrey’s character. It’s the most perfect characterization.

And my number one pick is…

“Suddenly Seymour”!!!!!!

This was probably obvious. I post about the song, and the ship in general, a lot. Like, a LOT. But I adore it.

I could go on and on about my love for this song, and I will. I’m going to make a whole post about it when I get the time. But basically, i love all of it. The music, the characters, the actions, the reactions, the goddamn LYRICS! It’s my favorite song possibly in the world, no contest.

#little shop of horrors #songs

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chancellormatt · 6 years

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Voltron Rewrite Episode One - The Dark Paladins

NOTE: The following takes place shortly after the events of Voltron Season 6. While it is meant to replace the final season of the show, neither Seasons 7 or 8 are considered part of this canon. Enjoy.

Out in the deep stretches of space, in the infinite hollow blackness, a light begins to shine. It is not a soft, pleasant light, but an aggressive violet one, that would hurt the eyes if looked upon too long. The light spreads out, and forms into a glyph shape. The glyph grows further, all the while the original core light burns brightly in the center. The glyph’s size finally reaches its apex and the light blazes its very brightest.

Then, in an instant, the light and the glyph vanishes. In its place is the robotic form of voltron. But this is not the voltron we know. This voltron is dark in color, with purple lines of light tracing up and down its body and limbs.

Inside the cockpit of the Black Lion, Emperor Zarkon sits, at the controls.

“All Paladins check in. ” He says in his throaty, menacing voice.

“Honerva checking in.” The Empress reports uneasily from the Green Lion.

“Lotor...checking in.” The Prince pants out from the Red Lion. He is covered in sweat and looks the worse for wear.

“S-Sendak checking in.” The Commander stutters from the Yellow Lion.

“...Raimon checking in.” The maroon armored paladin of the Blue Lion replies stoically.

Zarkon gives a slight nod at the complete check in. “Honerva, report.”

“The jump between dimensions was successful.” Honerva replies. “...barely.” She adds the last, with a wince.

“The fleet?” Zarkon asks.

“The rift is closed. They’ll be dead in moments, if they aren’t already.”

“Hm.” Zarkon takes his hands off the controls to interlace his fingers.

“So we are in a new reality with no army, no information, and no resources.” Prince Lotor sums up, looking none the too pleased with the situation.

“We have Voltron.” Zarkon says harshly. “That is enough. It is always enough boy.”

“...yes my lord.” Lotor says after a moment, gripping his controls tightly.

“Sendak, get me communications.”

“I begun scanning the moment we exited the portal, my lord. It seems that the Galra Empire, in some form exists in this reality. The codes are different, but those are our signals. I’ll have them cracked in under a varga.”

“See that you do commander. We have a brand new universe to conquer. We’ll start by taking over whatever flawed version of the Empire this reality holds. I am going to split up the lions for now. Lotor, Raimon, I want the two of you to search nearby planets. Find us a suitable place to rest for the time being. After that...we shall find out if this universe also holds its own Voltron. ”

***

Voltron blasts onto the scene of a battle between Galra forces and the Voltron Coalition. The Galra outnumber the Coalition greatly. Voltron moves in between the two, activating shield and blocking the Galra line of fire.

“Attention Galra forces! This is Keith of the paladins of Voltron. Lay down your weapons and surrender, or we will use force.”

There is a brief lull in the firing, but almost as suddenly the firing kicks back up and redoubles, only now focused solely at Voltron.

“I’m gonna go ahead and guess that’s a no.” Lance jokes.

Keith only sighs.

“Just our luck getting caught up in a battle on our way back to earth.” Hunk says.

“You’d figure eventually they’d give up soon as we arrive.” Pidge says.

“The Galra are nothing if not stubborn.” Allura puts in.

“Then we better show them we mean business. Form sword!” Keith orders.

Voltron tears out the sword. The Paladins slam their throttles forward, and Voltron rockets towards the nearest Galra cruiser. With a flash of light the cruiser splits in two, then explodes. Voltron races towards the next cruiser.

Inside the command ship of the Galra, alarms chime all over the bridge. Commander Skreil, a short, stocky Galra watches with displeasure as Voltron tears through another cruiser.

“Commander we’ve lost another ship!” An officer calls out.

“That’s one more commander!”

“Curse you Voltron…” Skreil grumbles.

“There is a way to stop it.” A voice says.

Commander Skriel turns as a Druid walks out from the shadows.

“The Crusher. It could defeat them.”

Skriel scratches his chin thoughtfully. “And you’re sure it’ll work?”

“Of course…” The Druid replies.

“Very well,” Skriel nods. “Two can play at this game! Lieutenant! Tell our two sister ships to get into formation, and have the rest cover us.”

“Done commander!”

“Excellent! Now engage!”

Outside, the Paladins watch as three of the Galra ships move close together, and panels on the sides begin to light up.

“What are they up to now!?” Lance exclaimes.

“Guys! I’m detecting some strong quintessence readings coming from those three ships!” Pidge reports

Suddenly the three ships link together, and begin to transform. The bodies of the ships break into smaller pieces and begin to reconfigures. It forms into a massive, vaguely-humanoid robotic being. Then it reaches to its back and pulls out a long purple-energy bladed axe.

“Hey combining a bunch of ships into a robot is our thing!” Lance says, sounding offended.

“How do you like my PALADIN CRUSHER, Voltron!? Hahaha!” Skriel cackles over the communicator.

“He seems pleasant.” Pidge says sarcastically.

“Uh...guy that thing’s pretty big.” Hunk points out.

It is indeed, over twice as large as voltron.

“It may be big but we’ve fought worse guys than this!” says Keith. “Let’s keep him on the defensive guys!”

“Right!” The other Paladins chime in unison.

Voltron blasts towards the Paladin Crusher, sword outstretched in front.

“Ohoho! Attacking already!? How do you like...this!?” Skriel shouts out as the Crusher swings its massive axe. As it does, a blade of energy shoots out in an expanding arc towards Voltron.

“Thrusters!” Keither orders, and Voltron boosts to the side, just barely missing the energy blade.

“Oh no! It missed!” Skriel shouts as Voltron closes in, sword bared. “Just kidding!”

A pair of energy beams fire out from the Paladin Crusher’s eyes, and collide with Voltron’s chest.

The Paladins all cry out in alarm as Voltron is blasted back. The Crusher pulls back for another swung of its axe.

“Shield!” Keith shouts.

The wings slam together into shield form a moment before the energy blade hits. Voltron is shoved backwards by the blow, but otherwise unharmed.

“HAHAHA! You thought we only had one trick up our sleeves! This robot is the weapon that will finally destroy you, Paladins of Voltron! And more importantly, make me the new Emperor of the Galra! It's laughable that-”

“Quick, while he's still monologuing! Pidge, you get an analysis on that things fighting patterns?” Keith cuts in.

“Algorithms still gathering data, but so far it seems to want to keep us at a distance. As much quintessence as that thing has, it can’t have a limitless supply so it's gotta make cuts somewhere. My guess is it doesn’t have much in the ways of shields or armor.”

“Keep us moving then, legs. Hunk? Give us the shoulder cannon.”

“You got it Keith!” Hunk slams his bayard into his lion’s port.

The cannon appears on Voltron’s shoulder, while at the same moment, its boosters erupt. Voltron zips around in a complex pattern, while at the same time it blasts its shoulder cannon directly at the Crusher.

The Paladin Crusher swings its axe and fires eyebeams, multiple times, but none of the energy attacks come even close to hitting. As soon as Voltron’s cannon fires, it boosts out of the way before it can be hit.

Inside the Crusher, the interior is shuddering with each blast of Voltron’s cannon.

“Ah! Why isn’t this working!?”

“The armor on this machine is...less than ideal.” The Druid admits.

“What!? What do you mean!?”

“If they keep this up, they’ll whittle us down bit by bit.”

“Quiznack! Well forget that, let’s bring the fight to them. After that Voltron!”

The Paladin crusher boosts forward, chasing after Voltron. The Crusher starts to gain on Voltron, and swings its axe, in a bullrush to try and cleave the other robot in half.

“Pidge! Arm Cannon!”

She slams her bayard in and the cannon appears on Voltron’s arm. One blast behind it’s back, and the Crusher is shoved backwards. Voltron takes the moment to whirl back around, and swung the sword at the Crusher’s body. The Crusher blocks the blow along the haft of its axe. The two struggle there for a moment, neither giving an inch.

“More power to thrusters!” Skriel orders.

“But sir we only have so much quint-”

“MORE POWER!!!” Skriel bellows.

The officer throws a lever, and outside, the Paladin Crusher glows brightly with quintessence. Voltron begins to be shoved backwards, and the axe crackles closer to the head.

“No…You...” Keith says straining. “...Don’t!”

Keith rams his Bayard into the port on his lion. The wing boosters appear on Voltron’s back, and erupt into a flash of light. The Paladin Crusher is thrown backwards under the force, and smashes into a Galra cruiser behind it, which explodes.

“Status report!” Skriel demands.

“We’ve taken damage!” One officer reports. “Outer armor layers are cracked!”

“Quintessence supply low!” Another shouts.

Skriel scans the display. “Where’s Voltron?”

He is met with only the ambiance of battle.

“Get me a visual on Voltron!”··µ·

“Wait...I’m getting a reading on our port s-”

Suddenly, a blur moves past the Crusher, and it’s side is sliced by something, shaking the interior. The blur moves back around and slices the Crusher again on it's other side.

“Critical damage sir!” An officer yells.

“What on Diabazal is happening!?” Skriel shouts.

The monitors finally adjust to the speed of the blur. It is revealed to be Voltron, moving blindingly fast via is boosted wings.

“Oh...quiznack.”

Voltron, moving almost too fast to be seen, zips back and forth, slicing open the Paladin Crusher’s armor with every pass.

Skriel spins around to shout at the Druid. “I thought you said this thing could beat Voltron!”

“Uh…” The Druid vanishes in a cloud of energy.

Commander Skriel stares for several moments. Then he starts running. “To the escape pods!” He cries.

Outside Voltron swings the sword one final time, and the Paladin Crush splits in two. Then Explodes. Purple energy lights up the battlefield, and all is still for a moment.

“I’m getting an emergency signal!” Pidge reports, then blinks in surprise. “They’re...surrendering.”

“Alright!” Lance exclaimes. “Another win for team Voltron!”

Keith nods slowly. “Good job team. Let’s regroup with the Coalition. After that…”

“Home.” Hunk says with reverence.

The rest of the paladins silently agreed.

***

Shiro waits in the hangar bay, alongside Matt Holt.

“Finally going back to earth…” Matt says, as if not really believing it.

“It’s been a while hasn’t it?” Shiro replies.

“Hey you got back there a year or so ago didn’t you?”

“Only for a bit.” Shiro shrugs.“Didn’t really get a chance to stick around or say hi to old friends.”

“Well hey, there should be plenty of time for that soon.”

“With our luck? We’ll be neck deep in Galra before the day is out.”

Both laugh at that. They watch as the five Lions of Voltron fly inside the hangar, and set down a dozen feet or so away. The Lions begin to open up, one by one, and the Paladins walk out. They are met by cheers from other members of the coalition in the hangar, and are quickly mobbed. After slipping through through the crowds, they finally make their way to Shiro and Matt.

“That was some good work out there.” Shiro commended.

“We did as well as-” Keith starts to say.

“Heck yeah we did!” Lance declares. “Can’t stop the Voltron! I say Vol you say:” He points at the crowd behind them.

A cacophony of “TRON!” erupts in the hangar.

“Vol-”

“-TRON!”

Lance smiles self-satisfiedly as the cheer continues without his prompt. Pidge rolls her eyes, but the others only chuckle. Even Keith smirks slightly.

“Really, I am proud of you all.” Shiro continues. “You’ve earned this trip back to Earth.”

There is a series of uncertain smiles.

“Wonder what everyone’s been up to while we’re gone.” Lance ponders.

“Hope they haven’t worried too much…” Hunk says wistfully.

“I bet...Mom’s missed us.” Pidge says after a moment. She and Matt both look distant for a moment.

“Man...she’s probably gonna ground you for the rest of your life.” Matt finally says.

Pidge laughs for a moment, then frowns. “You don’t...you don’t think she’d actually…”

“Oh yeah I do.” Matt said nodding emphatically.

“Uh oh…” She suddenly looks worried.

“Ah Pidge, come on, it's not like she can actually ground a Paladin of Voltron.” Lance says.

Matt and Pidge both stare at him.

“You haven’t met mom.” They say in unison.

“But remember guys, this isn’t just a family visit.” Keith says. “We’re also going to convince the Galaxy Garrison to join the cause against the Galra, and help us rebuild the Castle of Lions.”

Lance sighs. “Typical Keith, bringing us all down.”

“I wasn’t…I’m not...ugh. Just...try to remember that we have more than one priority when we get there.”

“We get it Keith. Loud and clear.” Hunk says. “I just hope they got food there. I dunno about you guys, but after all this traveling and fighting, I’ve worked up quite an appetite.”

“I’m sure they’ll have food Hunk.” Shiro says with a smirk. “But Keith is right. After everyone’s done greeting, we are going to have to meet with the Garrison brass. For now, why don’t you all go relax. We’ll be making our approach in another couple hours.”

There is a clamor of agreement, and Lance, Hunk, Pidge and Matt all head off. Shiro, Keith and Allura are left in awkward silence.

“Well I should go...see how Coran and Romelle are doing.” Allura says. “He’s been working with her to try and figure out how best to approach the Altean colony once we are able to travel there. I’ll...see you when we land.”

Then she leaves as well. Keith watchs her go, and stares off into space after she is out of sight.

“You doing alright?”

“Fine.” He says a little too quickly.

Shiro raises and eyebrow. Keith sighs.

“Well...I’m leader of Voltron...again.”

“And?”

“And if you remember, it didn’t turn out so well last time.”

“Things are different now.”

“Are they? I only took the position to stop you when you were being mind controlled. I’m still not a hundred percent sure I’ve got what it takes to lead them.”

“Well,” Shiro shrugs. “ At the end of the day that's up to you. You get out of the team what you put in. Do your best to lead them, be there for them when they need you, and you’ll succeed.”

“I’ll...try. Thanks Shiro.” Keith nods appreciatively.

“Anytime.”

“Really though, I should be the one asking you how you’re doing. Having your soul torn out and put into a clone body must be...weird.”

“It's...something I’m getting used to.” Shiro admitted. “I do miss the robot arm.”

“Maybe Sam can make you a new one.”

“Maybe. For now, you should just worry about getting some rest. Something tells me we’re in for a long reception once we land.”

***

The five Lions of Voltron fly alongside the Coalition group of ships, racing towards a nearby star system. As they fly faster, planets become visible. They draw closer to the third one from the sun.

“Heads up, we got ships approaching.” Pidge says.

Sure enough, a handful of space fighters fly out towards the group.

“This is Keith of the Paladins of Voltron.” Keith said over his communicator. “Along with a company of Coalition of Voltron ships. Requesting Galaxy Garrison permission to land on earth.”

“-Did you say Voltron?” A voice crackles over the communicator.

“That’s right.” Keith confirms.

“Ah hell, I gotta call this in.” The line is silence for several long moments. “...alright. The...Lions, and one small ship are cleared for landing. The rest of you are gonna have to wait out here, well away from Earth for now. We’ll escort you in.”

“Understood.” Keith switches the line. “Shiro? Get you Matt, and whoever else wants to land in a transport. We’re going in.”

The Lions fly in, along with the transport ship, flanked on all sides by fighters. The lions and ships descend towards a massive Garrison base landing pad. There is a small crowd of Garrison personnel in uniforms along with civilians in normal clothes. The lions and ships land, and a moment later, all exit.

The Paladins, with Shiro, and a small group from the Coalition approach the crowd.

“Mom!” Pidge breaks from the group, to sprint towards the woman standing next to her father. Matt is running at her heels.

“Katie! Matt! Oh thank God!” her mother cried out.

Pidge practically tackles the woman, and Matt isn’t much more graceful. The three of them grip each other in a death-grip of an embrace.

“Uncle Lance!” A pair of kids cry as the break from the crowd. Lance’s eyes water as he dashes to embrace them, he is soon enveloped in other relatives.

Hunk walks over to hug his hims family, a tad more reserved than the others, by no less heartwarming. Commander Iverson, along with a group of Garrison personnel walks over to meet the remainders.

“Lieutenant Shirogane. It's been a while.” The man extends his hand to Shiro.

“Too long, Commander Iverson.” Shiro replies, shaking the man’s hand.

“Gotta say, never thought you’d come back to earth with five...uh...space lions. I hear they turn into a giant robot?”

“I see Sam’s informed you all. And yes, they do turn into a robot.”

“Sounds...exciting. We’ll have to debrief you all of course.”

“I can help you with that as much as i can for now. As for the rest of the team, I think they need some time.”

“Understandable. Your team can take all the time they need.”

“Thanks. Oh and they’re not technically ‘my team’ anymore. Keith here is the leader of Voltron now.”

“Commander.” Keith nods.

Iverson looks at Keith as if seeing him for the first time. “Well I’ll be. Sam said you were on the team but...well I guess I was wrong about you cadet.”

Keith shakes his head. “I wasn’t...the best cadet either. It's water under the bridge.” He offers a hand that Iverson shakes.

“I’ll be seeing you all shortly.” with that Iverson and Shiro head inside the base. Keith is left alone, with the exception of Cosmo. He scratched the dog’s ear thoughtfully. Coran and the Coalition forces are off to the side conversing with some of the garrison personnel. After scanning the area, Keith notices another lone person. Allura, hanging back by her lion, not really looking at anyone.

Keith hesitates a moment,. “Be there for your team.” He says to himself, while scratching Cosmo. “Stay.” He says, then starts to walk over. Allura looks up as he approaches and smiles.

“Don’t you have family to be celebrating with?” She says.

“Not really. Krolia...my mom, is with the blades right now. There...isn’t really anyone back here for me to see.”

“I understand.” Allura looks down.

The conversation falls dead. Keith scratches the back of his neck uncomfortably. “Allura?”

“Yes?” she looks up.

“Are you uh...are you doing alright?”

“I’m...fine.” She says carefully.

“Okay. You just...well never mind. As your leader...you can talk to me. If you need to or whatever.”

“Thank you Keith. I’ll keep that in mind.”

After another few moments of silence, he walks back to where Cosmo still sits.

“Man, I suck at this.” he sighs.

The cosmic wolf barks, as if in agreement.

***

“Can we get this over with, so we can go back to being with our families?” Pidge complains. All of the Paladins and Coalition leaders are seated in a boardroom opposite a panel of Garrison high command. There is one empty seat on the Garrison side.

“Pidge.” Keith says warningly.

“I’m with her.” Lance pips in. “I don’t see why we gotta wait for this ‘Admiral’ person.”

“The delay was...unexpected. As was your sudden appearance.” An aged Commander named Sablan explained.

“Didn’t Mr. Holt get you ready for us? Dunno just seems like something you had plenty of time for.” Hunk points out.

“I tried to get them prepared.” Sam Holt says from the Garrison side of the table. “But telling people five robotic lions with a coalition of aliens are coming to visit is one thing, having them actually show up is another.”

Suddenly, the door to the room slides open. A stern-looking older woman steps in.

“Admiral Sanda.” Iverson says, standing up to salute the woman. The rest of the Garrison commanders do the same.

“At ease.” She says, talking over to take a seat herself. “Apologies for the delay. The leaders of the world had much to say regarding how to treat this meeting with ‘The Voltron Coalition.’” She scanned the people seated opposite her. “Who can I consider the leader here?”

All eyes turn to Shiro. He in turn, looks to Keith.

“You better take this one, leader of Voltron aside, I dunno if you wanna trust me talking to these guys.” Keith whispers to him.

Shiro nods understandingly.

“Lieutenant Takashi Shirogane, reporting for duty, ma’am. I’ll be speaking for this group for the time being.”

“Understood Lieutenant.” Sanda says. “Now, would you care to explain what this is all about? I’ve heard the story from Commander Holt a number of times, but I’d like to hear things from your perspective.”

“Very well.” Shiro nods. “Last year myself along with Keith, Lance, Pidge and Hunk recovered five robotic lions, which when bonded together become the powerful robot known as Voltron. Together we fought against The Emperor Zarkon who had at the time, taken over much of the know universe. After many hard-fought battles we defeated him, but in doing so, left a power vacuum in the Galra Empire. To combat the fracturing Galra Empire we helped form the Coalition you see before you. We were one-time allies with Zarkon’s son Prince Lotor, who tried to fill that vacuum, but when he proved himself an enemy, Voltron was forced to defeat him as well. I should note that I am no longer officially a part of Voltron. My position was taken over by Keith here.”

Sanda eyes Keith briefly, before turning her gaze back to Shiro. “Very well, I think I understand the situation. Now I have a question for you Lieutenant Shirogane: What do you want from us?”

“Ideally? Unrestricted support to the Voltron Coalition. That means Earth forces fighting alongside the Coalition to finally put down the Galra Empire before it has a chance to get back on its feet.”

Sanda nodded as if understanding. “Absolutely not.”

“What!?” is the collective reaction from most of the seats on the Coalition side of the table. Shiro, however, does not look surprised.

“The people of Earth simply cannot justify getting caught in an interstellar war, that we so far, have been able to avoid getting involved in.”

“With respect Admiral,” Shiro says, “it's only a matter of time before one of the Galra warlords finds Earth and decides it might make a nice mining colony.”

“And should such a thing occur, we will respond accordingly.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Matt says, putting his feet up on the table.

“Officer Matthew Holt.” Sanda says. “No longer MIA I see. If I’m not mistake you are still technically a member of the Galaxy Garrison.”

“Consider me retired. I’m full time Coalition now. And you guys should be too.”

“We are not going to prematurely involve ourselves in a senseless conflict.” Sanda says firmly.

“Senseless!?” Keith says, speaking aloud for the first time. “There are millions of planets out there that need our help! Every one of them that joins the Coalition makes us that much stronger to be able to push back the Galra warlords. Are you really just going to sit there and ignore all those people because you’re scared of fighting!?”

Sanda narrows her eyes at Keith.

“I think,” Shiro cuts in,“what Keith is trying to say, is that this relationship would be mutually beneficial.”

“Indeed.” Ryner says. “We offer not just military assistance, but technology as well. Technology that has innumerable uses, not the least of which is for defence against the Galra.”

“Yes we’ve seen some of this ‘alien’ technology.” Sanda says turning to Sam Holt.

“We’ve used everything I learned out in space, along with with what we could reproduce from my ship to further enhance the Garrison’s technology. We’ve even begun work on a prototype mech know at the Atlas-”

“None of which are to be used in this conflict with the Galra Empire.” Sanda interrupts. “As enticing as more of that tech is, it has been decided by men far above my own head, that the risks do not outweigh the reward.”

�� “Then what are we even doing here?” Lance asks.

All eyes turn to him.

“What? We were all thinking it…”

“The Castle of Lions.” Allura suggests.

“Right.” Shiro nods. “If you will not provide military assistance, that is understood. But we left Sam Holt with plans for a ship known as the Castle of Lions. We’d like the use of Garrison resources to rebuilt it, in exchange for the earlier mentioned technology.”

“You want us to help rebuild your...ship?”

“The Castle of Lions is a lot more than just a ship!” Coran pipes up. “It functions as the space faring home of the Lions of Voltron, and gives them support in battle.”

“It's essentially a mobile HQ for Voltron and the Coalition. It has innumerable uses. Unfortunately it was recently destroyed, but hopefully, making use of it's plans and the best of all our tech, we can make a new one just as good.”

“You’d be hard pressed to do that.” Coran says. “My grandfather really knew what he was doing when he built the thing. That being said, under my careful guidance, it may be possible.” he says, twisting his mustache thoughtfully.

“That may be within our limits. So long as it is not tied back to Earth. But we’ll need a bit more than simple tech upgrades. We need a...Sam, what did you call it?”

“A balmeran Crystal.” Sam says. “The Atlas wont work without one.”

“We’ll need to get one to rebuild the Castle anyway.” Hunk points out.

“Those terms seem fair enough.”

“Very well then. The Galaxy Garrison will assist in the construction of this ‘Castle of Lions’ in exchange for the crystal. But no direct military involvement is to be supplied in any capacity. Understood?”

There is a chorus of underwhelmed “understood.”

“Good. Meeting adjourned.”

***

“I can’t believe they could be so heartless.” Keith hisses. They all are walking back outside the Garrison base, where their lions sit.

“Buncha jerks.” Lance agrees.

“They’re only trying to protect themselves.” Shiro says. “It's understandable considering the circumstances.”

“How about the circumstances of all the planets still under Galra rule?” Keith shoots back.

“I’m not disagreeing with you Keith, just saying that it may take time to get them to come around.”

“Well they can take all the time they want.” Hunk says. “I don’t know about you guys, but my family told me they were gonna cook a big old feast to celebrate me coming home.”

“We should probably get going too.” Pidge says.

“Yeah, I was totally right. Mom grounded Katie ‘until further notice.’” Matt says with a smirk.

“Don’t remind me...” Pidge says adjusting her glasses uncomfortably.

“I’m taking off too.” Lance says. “I’ve got a lot of catching up to do with everyone.”

The three walk off, to greet their respective families.

“Coran and I also have duties.” Allura says, nodding to Shiro, then Keith. She and Coran make their exit as well.

“I’m going to talk with the other coalition leaders to see if we can figure out what to do next. You going to want to be there?” Shiro asks Keith.

“No thanks. Think I want to be alone for a bit.”

Shiro nods and the other coalition leaders return to the ship. Keith walks over to the black lion, and finds Acxa standing next to it, petting Cosmo.

“Didn’t realise you came here too.” Keith says.

“Thought I’d tag along, see how it all went.” She replies. “Judging from your expression it didn’t go well.”

“Not exactly.” Keith says gruffly. “They won’t offer any military support.”

“Pointless.” Acxa shrugs.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean this whole Voltron Coalition, recruiting planets for the cause, it's a waste of time. That isn’t how you’ll stop the Galra Empire.”

“We’re making progress.” Keith says.

“Some.” She admits. “And maybe, if everything keeps going well, you’ll eventually be able hunt down and stop every one of the dozens of Galra warlords scattered across the universe. But it’ll take decades. Maybe even lifetimes. All the while innocent worlds will continue to suffer.”

“You got a better idea?”

She nods“The Galra understand one thing: strength. You want to stop them? Give them a strong leader. A new Emperor to stop the infighting, and reclaim the Empire”

Keith scoffs. “We tried that with Lotor. Didn’t go so well.”

“Lotor was too ambitious for his own good. I’m talking about someone that would have all your best interests at heart.”

“Is this the part where you say it should be you?” He says, skeptically.

“Hardly. I’m talking about you.”

Keith looks shocked.

“...me? The Galra Emperor? That’s a pretty lousy joke…”

“It's not a joke Keith. You’re strong willed, and a good fighter. Even more importantly, you command Voltron. You have power. The Galra will respect that, if you push for the throne.”

“I’m not going to become the Galra Emperor.” Keith says firmly. “I don’t know the first thing about politics.”

“Galra politics are simple. The guy that hits the hardest is in charge.”

Still Keith shakes his head. “It's not going to happen.”

“Suit yourself.” She shrugs. “But there is a power vacuum in the Empire right now. If you don’t fill it, someone else will.”

With that, Acxa gives Cosmo one final scratch then walks back towards the ship. Keith is left staring at the ground. He looks up at the Black Lion.

“Emperor of the Galra.” he shakes his head. “Yeah right.”

***

Emperor Zarkon sits in the Black Lion, eyes closed.

“Father? We have a report” Lotor says over the communicator.

Zarkon opens his glowing eyes. “Go on.”

“No luck with the surrounding planets. All are completely desolate. However, we may have found something better.”

“Explain.”

“Sendak and I have been going over the Galra communications since he cracked them. We have a lot of information here but a few key pieces seem especially important.”

“I’m listening.”

“First of all it seems this reality’s versions of both you and I are...well dead.”

Zarkon’s eyes narrow. “...how?”

“Unclear. Lot of conflicting information, you understand. It seems however, that your alter was defeated some time ago by Voltron. My alter fell to the same fate just recently.”

“I was not in control of Voltron?”

“It appears not. A few beings from some far off primitive planet, are piloting the Lions now.”

“So the version of myself here was so weak we could not reclaim the lions all those years ago? Pitiful. I hope you have better news than that.”

“I do. Our deaths left a power struggle that the Galra haven’t recovered from yet. It seems the Empire is ripe for the taking.”

“Good. At least the Paladins of Voltron here are too incompetent to take it for themselves.”

“There is...one other thing. While Sendak was going over the different signals, he noticed on that was hidden behind the others. A subtramission. He couldn’t crack it, but as soon as he showed it to me I recognized the pattern. It was almost identical to a transmission protocol I used for my agents back...in the old reality.”

Zarkon’s eyes narrow again. “I’m going to ignore for a moment that you had a transmission network I wasn’t aware of. Whatever you found had better outweigh that misstep.”

“I think it does. The network is a series of communications between what I must assume was myself and someplace within this reality’s Quantum Abyss. After a little digging, I found a digital pathway, that should take us safely through to whatever is inside.”

“What are you expecting to find?”

“Most likely? Resources. A hidden base, perhaps. Maybe even something more valuable. Either way, seems like the ideal location for a new HQ.”

“Very well. We shall travel to this place and set up base. Once completed, we take back the Empire.”

“Vrepit Sa.” Lotor says.

“Vrepit Sa.” Zarkon replies, closing his eyes again.

#voltron #voltron season 8 #voltron fanfic #keith #lance #pidge #hunk #shiro #zarkon

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blueangelicrose · 6 years

Text

Origins Of How You Came To Be: Chapter 1: Dreams

It was late at night when Demencia finally got into bed. After a whole fun-filled day causing chaos and havoc, and of course trying her best to flirt with her boss, Black Hat, she was finally bone tired and ready to pass out on top of her bed. She thought to herself, "I can't wait to see you in the morning my dear and darling Black Hat! We'll rule the world together someday! Just you wait and see!" As she closed her eyes and went into a deep sleep, she suddenly heard someone call her name. She then suddenly woke up! But instead of being in her room, she was in an entirely different place! She was laying in a field of multi-colored wild flowers and greenish brown colored foxtails. The sky was a deep color of fuchsia pink that was filled with puffy gold colored clouds. And when she stared straight up, the sky changed from what seemed to be daytime to night time. The top of the sky was filled with multiple beautiful dark and light colors and was filled with an endless array of twinkling stars. It was like she was staring into the heart of space itself. All of this took her breath away and she wondered where in the world she was. She swore she landed on top of her bed instead of a flower field. She then heard a beautiful and dreamy like female voice call her name once more. She then remembered. She woke up in this place after hearing this voice call her name.

She was ready to find out who brought her here. Even if it meant taking her mace to that person's face to explain why they did it and to bring her back home to her beloved Black Hat. As the voice kept calling her name and as Demencia followed where she believed where the voice was coming from, it got louder and louder until she came across a large pond. The pond was a decent size and around the edge of the pond's shores, grew cat tails and swamp reeds. She swore that she heard the voice coming from here. But all that was here was a pond, some plant life, and surprisingly a lot of white butterflies. At least, that's what she originally thought. But now that she thought about it more, the increase of butterflies was growing more and more every second that passed by. The butterflies increased and increased until her whole surroundings was completely white. In fear, she closed her eyes tightly and covered her head with her arms while crouched to the ground. She was expecting to be devoured by the insects, but instead of being eaten, all that she felt was a soft and delicate hand gently touch her arm.

Demencia then heard the soft, gentle, loving female voice call for her, "Demencia open your eyes dear. You're going to be okay. They're all gone now. Only you and I are here. And I won't let anything hurt you." Demencia opened her eyes and released herself from the fear position that she put herself in, and looked up. And there in front of her was a beautiful woman dressed in a pretty white flowing dress with a silky white shaw. She had beautiful milky ivory-like white skin, with snow colored flowing hair to boot as well. She was really tall with a slender but strong looking body built. But the most striking feature that she had was her eyes. Her eyes were a menacing shade of greenish yellow, much like Demencia's, but they looked so gentle. And the way that this woman looked at her was like the loving gaze of what a parent would give to their new born child. "Your name is Demencia, huh? It seems that my prayers were answered. You grew to be such a beautiful young woman. I've never been more proud of a mother." Demencia was confused at what she was implying. Demencia never had a mother. For what she understood from what Dr. Flug told her, was that she was, "Created in a tank full of chemicals and from spare "organic" parts from who-knows-what nightmares are made from.

"Oh, my dear girl. How naive you grew up to be. It is true that you, physically, were created in a lab. But spiritually you were, in truth, created by God's power combined with both pieces of me and your father." As the woman continued to talk, Demencia grew only more confused. The woman noticed this and breathed out a deep sigh. "It looks like I'm going to have to show you that I'm your legitimate mother." The woman then stepped back, closed her eyes, crossed her arms in the form of an "X" on her chest, and then began to glow. As she was glowing, she unfolded her arms and when she did, not only did the glowing stop, but large white wings came out from her back! They weren't angel wings but scaly reptilian like wings. The wings had glimmering crystal scales which shone like diamonds. Demencia had to control herself not to reach out and try to rip off a few scales for herself and her darling Black Hat. The woman noticed Demencia's dilemma and chuckled a sweet sounding laugh. The woman then made a face that said, "Oh sweet child! How I adore you and your efforts of trying so hard to resist your urges of temptation."

The woman then reached over to Demencia and with a slight tap on Demencia's forehead using her glowing finger, she transferred her powers over to Demencia. Demencia felt a strange sensation coursing through her body. Then suddenly, Demencia herself, began to glow. The woman instructed her to do what she did earlier, and when Demencia did exactly what she said, a pair of wings shot from her back creating an intense feeling of relief. Like she had been holding in an enormous amount of energy for the longest time and now that she had wings, it's as though all that energy had finally been released. The woman asked if she felt better now and if she liked her new wings.

Demencia made a surprised expression and turned to look at both sides of her back. And you can imagine the excited expression on her face when she was able to not only touch them, to confirm they were real, but able to physically move them like all her other limbs. Her wings were relatively small in comparison to the woman's wings and the color of Demencia's wings were that of dark green speckled with light green scales. But that was only on the hard outer edge of the wings but it was a light green color for the flaps of the wings. And just like the woman's wings, they shone and sparkled like they were jewels. Demencia was immediately attracted to them and tried to pull off some of her scales. But when she tried, it hurt her so much that she started to cry. (Which, honestly, she never thought that she was capable of). The woman started to worry about her and told her that she had used her powers to awaken Demencia's dormant dragon powers. And that it probably wasn't a good idea to pull off any newly formed scales. Mainly because it would hurt to much. It's pretty much the equivalent of a baby getting it's first tooth and just wanting to pull it out to get the adult tooth to come out. The woman said that Demencia just needed some patience, and when the time is right, then she can shed off her scales.

Demencia started to pout and mumble under her breath about how she didn't want to wait and wanted some scales now. The woman made a face that said, "What am I going to do with you?" The woman then reached over her shoulder and plucked four scales from her wings and gave them to Demencia. "I thought that you said that pulling them straight out like that would hurt! Why are you giving these to me?" The woman smiled and made a loving face and replied, "I'll endure the pain if it's for you my dear little one. And besides, it doesn't hurt me as much because 1. I was about to shed these scales and 2. I've been through much worse than something as simple as plucking a few scales. They're yours my dear. Use them however you like." The woman clasped her hands around Demencia's hands to reassure her that it was alright to take them. They stared into each other's eyes and to Demencia, it seemed like she was someone that she knew but couldn't place it in her memory of when she met her or what her name was. But she felt like she was someone dear to her and in no circumstances, can she lose her, not again.

Suddenly the ground around them began to shake and crack open. Demencia and the woman went in full alarm mode. Demencia asked the woman what was happening. The woman told her that she was waking up and that she would return to her bedroom when she opened her eyes. Demencia asked if this was a dream and if the woman was real. The woman replied that this is the dream realm and this is a dream, but the fact that she was real, her biological mother, and a dragon was indeed real. Suddenly the ground underneath Demencia gave out and she began falling into what seemed like an endless pit! As she was falling, the woman cried out to her that she will look for her no matter what and asked Demencia to please remember her even after she woke up. Demencia tried using her wings so that she could fly, but unfortunately they were still in the midst of being fully developed. So she yelled back at the woman, with her right arm and hand stretched out towards her, saying that she will definitely remember her and that she will look for her as well. As Demencia kept falling, her view of the woman was slowly starting to get fuzzy. And expecting to hit the ground, closed her eyes tightly preparing for the worst.

But when she felt like she had stopped falling, she opened her eyes. And to her relief and disbelief, she was in her room on her bed, just like what the woman said. She had woken from a strange and somewhat frightening dream and was drenched in cold sweat. And even though she had just woken up, she was totally exhausted and out of breath. "What just happened to me?! Did all of that really happen? That couldn't have happened, right? I mean, there's no way I would have a mom! The boss and Dr. Flug would've told me! Right?! Right!........ Right?" As she was questioning herself, she felt something in her left hand that she was gripping onto very tightly. She unclenched her hand and held it up to her face to see what it was. And to her disbelief, what was in her hand was four large reptilian like white and glittering scales. And for the next few hours she would be staring at them wondering what the woman said in her dream was actually true.

To Be Continued....

End of chapter 1. To be continued in chapter 2.

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ayellowbirds · 6 years

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youtube

Keshet Rewatches All of Scooby-Doo, Pt. 15: "Spooky Space Kook"

("Scooby-Doo, Where Are You", Season 1 Episode 15)

AKA "The Mystery Machine Is Itself A Mystery of Interior vs. Exterior Dimensions"

I’m breaking from my standard format for these, because holy jinkies, you need to see and hear this villain’s laugh as video. Text and gifs alone will not suffice.

As seen above, the episode opens in the evening on a view of a fairly run-down rural area. An equally wrecked spaceship flies low over the landscape, orange light pulsing from within, and it comes to a stop and lands out of view. A figure walks onto the road, clad in a space suit that also pulses with an eerie “glowing sound” (if you watch enough cartoons, you know what the sound effects for “glowing, pulsing light” are like) that suggests radioactivity, the head within visible only as a skull. The camera closes on it, and the freak starts whooping and laughing as the interior of its helmet flashes the same red-orange as the spaceship.

It’s fantastic. While not the creepiest, it’s definitely the best villain design of the season, if not the best of all of Scooby-Doo: Where Are You. The ruined ghostly spaceship is a design that both makes no sense at all (why does it look tattered?) and fits perfectly.

Meanwhile, the gang are on the road in the Mystery Machine, and Shaggy offers to make sandwiches for anyone who wants. Only Scooby takes him up on it, and the view cuts to Shaggy assembling what Fred calls a “Jaw-Stretcher Special”.

Mind you, this is overtly the back of the Mystery Machine. Exactly how large is that van supposed to be? It reminds me of the camper van my dad used to own, only far more spacious. Definitely more roomy than its exterior would indicate, by far. We’ve seen interior shots before that showed bare walls, as well as the first episode’s collection of questionable and disturbing equipment. Is it like a TARDIS?

Shaggy adds bologna, meatloaf, and “a slug of double Dutch chocolate syrup”... just as the van cuts out. They’re out of gas, and miles from the nearest station!

...so, I’m going to say it here: Fred is a really bad driver. I don’t know why it falls to him to drive, except that he assumes a leadership role, but as we’ve seen, he’s a lousy navigator, and now it’s apparent he doesn’t keep an eye on the fuel indicator, either. Granted, it seems he was intended as the oldest of the gang, so it may be that he’s just the only one who as a license, at this point.

Oh my gods. Is that why they do what Fred says? Because he’s the only one who has a driver’s license? Did we finally figure out what he brings to the group, aside from traps that never work?

Going to the nearest house to see if they can buy some gas from the residents, they’re menaced by its owner, a surly chicken farmer with a long rifle and a conviction that the gang are actually reporters trying to bother him about “it”—the same spaceship from the establishing shot, and “something” that has been creeping around ever since “it” showed up.

Velma spots a trail of bizarre footprints glowing on the ground nearby, which the farmer confirms is the same kind of print he’s been seeing. The gang decide they’ve found a mystery, and seem to smooth things over, because the next scene is the Mystery Machine back on the road, Daphne having mentioned that it was “nice” that he gave them some gas. Fred agrees, because it means they can seek out the “ghost craft”... just before an eerie light passes over the van, and the gang catch sight of the alien ship setting down over the hill.

They wind up at the wrecked boundary fence of an abandoned army airfield, and follow more glowing tracks through the bent and busted gate.

They’ve only been walking for a few seconds when there’s a clattering, crashing sound, and Velma yelps, “I bet it’s the outer-space ghost,” suggesting i may need to reevaluate my ranking of the gang’s credulity vis-à-vis ghosts. Sure enough, the eerie cackling starts up again from off-screen, and the gang are firmly spooked as they follow the tracks to a work shed from which a strange mechanical noise emits. They find an electrical generator that has only just shut down... and then see the spaceship setting down by the opposite building!

Instead of investigating the craft, Fred suggests they split up and look around. The usual antics ensue, with Scooby and Shaggy’s squabbles over a bag of peanuts leading them right to the space-booted feet of the ghost, and a chase scene that leads through the distinctive setting of the airfield. It’s one of the few times the gang are investigating something other than a castle or mansion this season, and it really stands out, though one wonders why the many planes seen on the field were just left to rust.

Fred, Daphne, and Velma discover a machine shop with fresh grease and recently-used machines, and when Fred winds up hooked and hanging from the ceiling due to the ghost’s machinations, Velma protests Freddie’s assumption that she’d know how to even identify the controls for the hook.

Well, there’s characterization that won’t last. It seems as though, in this first season, Velma’s scientific expertise trends much more academic, including some chemistry but mostly being focused on research and analysis instead of the physical science work that would later be a big part of her interests.

Velma and Daphne meet up with Shaggy and Scooby to get help getting Fred down, and Fred and Velma quiz Shaggy on the details of “this thing you saw”. Apparently he was vague about the details of the ghost alien.

The phantom starts its whooping and giggling act again, and the chase continues as the gang flee in opposite directions, with Scooby and Shaggy winding up in the mess hall (”Never heard of a special place to make a mess...”), proving they have some kind of instinctive sixth sense for snacks that drives them towards the nearest kitchen without even intending to do so. Shaggy finds nothing, but Scooby manages to scarf down a small roast ham, an entire chicken on a bed of greens, and most of a jar of olives before Shaggy comes over to check on him. Shaggy realizes the remains of fresh food are a clue—"Like, how come a ghost from space keeps chicken and ham around?"—and they head out to find the others, running into the ghost again.

The girls and Fred, meanwhile, find a copy of yesterday’s Gazette, with glowing fingerprints left on the front page. “Why would a ghost from outer space be reading yesterday’s newspaper?”

This is why it’s important to maintain details in your haunting site. Big Bob understood that, he even went so far as to make monster-specific food labels.

As the chase continues and the gang reunite once more in the motor pool, they find a busted old jeep with four flat tires... that actually conceal another four wheels, found after Scooby notices that the exhaust pipe smells of gasoline.The jeep even starts remotely, driving out past a larger truck, where the “goony ghost” reveals itself behind the canopy covering the truck bed. But before the gang can react, four more ghosts appear!

Noticeably, the extra ghosts don’t move or even glow, they just stand there looking spooky. It’s enough, as Shaggy and Scooby flee up into a control tower and signal the rest of the gang over the still-functioning loudspeakers with the bugle call for noon mess, still apparently the only one they know. So, Scooby and Shaggy have no idea what a mess hall is, but they know the melody to summon you to one by heart?

Unfortunately, the ghost corners the boys in the tower, and they’re forced to jump out with a parachute. The scene fades to a police car: the farmer saw their car parked by the gate, and in spite of his seemingly ornery character, became worried for the gang and called the sheriff.

They catch sight of the ghost, who flees into a building, which Fred calls “a bad mistake”—because the steel door the ghost shuts behind itself leads to a wind tunnel for testing aerodynamics.

Fred starts up the turbine, and the ghost grabs hold of a steel ladder as the resulting winds blow off its helmet, mask, and eventually the whole dang costume, revealing an ordinary human: the farmer’s next-door neighbor, Henry Bascombe.

Again, note that the culprit gets a whole name, but the innocent man is just “Mister Farmer”, and the cop is just “the Sheriff”.

Shaggy reveals his discovery from the airfield control tower: a reel-to-reel projector to beam the image of the spaceship onto the night sky, and an audio player sped-up to sound high-pitched and eerie. The gang “wanna bet” that the extra ghosts were stuffed dummies and that the jeep was driven by remote control, but never actually check. It’s also left unclear what exactly Bascombe filmed to make the spaceship footage, or where his improbable mechanical skills originate.

The sheriff explains that Bascombe heard that the Air Force planning to re-open and expand the field—how does he know that Bascombe knew this?—and the farmer deduces that it was a ploy to scare his neighbors off so he could buy their land cheap and resell it to the Air Force for a profit.

Almost, but not quite.

When will our burden be eased? When will we finally hear “meddling kids”?

(like what i’m doing here? It’s not what pays the bills, so i’d really appreciate it if you could send me a bit at my paypal.me or via my ko-fi. Click here to see more entries in this series of posts, or here to go in chronological order)

#scooby doo #KRAOSD

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qirahsoka · 7 years

Text

WHY YODA IS ARGUABLY THE BIGGEST BITCH IN STAR WARS

When someone says the words, “Star Wars,” typically, the first things to pop into one’s mind go something along the lines of laser swords, space monks, cool ships, and Yoda. Yes, Yoda, he’s that archetypal oracle on the mount; a tiny but incredibly powerful space wizard. Kind of like Dumbledore or Gandalf, just much shorter and green.

Being one of the most iconic characters of the original trilogy, the alien has gained a mass following over time. His famous pearls of wisdom and goofy yet simultaneously stoic have captured the hearts of middle-aged men all over the world that his fan base has become something akin to a cult. Seriously, just look around. His face is plastered over merchandise and his name irrevocably branded to the Star Wars franchise. He is everywhere.

But why? Why has this little green goblin become such an iconic Star Wars character? Many old OT fanboys would tell you he was the heart and soul of a millennium of light side force instruction for the Jedi, embodying what it truly meant to be a force for good. They’d say he was a wise go-to source for acquiring knowledge, a humble and kind know-it-all who could solve almost every problem in the galaxy with his powerful insight and wisdom.

Ironic, since his so called “wisdom” is the cause of almost every problem in the Star Wars universe.

PART I: I’M NOT A BAD PERSON, I SWEAR! BUT HERE, LET ME JUST ENCOURAGE SLAVERY

Let’s take our minds back, all the way back to the Phantom Menace. Ah, yes, the dreaded Episode I of the prequel trilogy. Where we’re introduced to little Ani, the pint-sized version and frankly, just as bold, of Darth Dad. So, Master Qui-Gon, being a complete darling, swoops Anakin under his wing and whisks him away to Coruscant after learning of his intensely powerful force sensitivity. Here Anakin undergoes a test in the Jedi Council room to determine whether or not this supposed “Chosen One” is who he appears to be. So here’s Anakin, a tiny-nine-year old boy, a former slave who was just abruptly taken from his mother and the only life he’s ever known, on a completely new planet surrounded by a circle of strangers.

And Yoda, being the toad he is, has the audacity to tell him he is too full of fear to be a Jedi. Well, thank you for pointing out the obvious, oh mighty Grandmaster. No shit, of course this little boy is going to be fearful. He’s in a completely new world, halfway across the galaxy from his home planet, without the only person he’s ever trusted and loved, his mother, and he’s unsure he’s ever going to see her again. He’s been planted into the middle of a ring of some of the most powerful beings in the galaxy and, to be completely honest, it kind of looks like he’s being offered as some kind of sacrifice to a cult of magic space people. Yet Yoda, who is supposed to be the embodiment of compassion, cannot find it in his heart to let the boy down gently. He is hypocritical, claiming Anakin’s intense inner fear is the reason of his failure, but in actual reality, it is Yoda who is scared of a little boy. So, instead he turns him away and plans to send him back to his mother and resume a life of slavery.

That’s right. The Grandmaster of the Jedi Order sending a kid back to be a slave. Wonderful.

Yoda has had quite the run with slavery. He’s basically the head guy of the Jedi, who are the peacekeepers of the galaxy and deliverers of justice. So why was justice not given to the trillions of slaves in the outer rim? Before the war, the Jedi had more than enough resources to rid planets of slavery, and with the aid of the Republic, the Outer Rim’s slaves could have been freed in a matter of years. But no, Yoda deemed them unimportant to their cause and had no intention to help them. So it’s no surprise that no further actions were taken to free Shmi or the many other slaves in the galaxy, not after Yoda considered sending her child back to chains. Evidently, his sense of justice and compassion has become majorly distorted over the years.

PART II: THAT TIME SHIT WENT DOWN WITH AHSOKA

Speaking of justice, let’s jump 12 or so years into the future and take a look at some of the events during the Clone War, as shown through the eyes of The Clone Wars animated TV series. This cartoon introduced us to a multitude of new and incredibly complex characters, such as Captain Rex, Fives, and most importantly, Ahsoka Tano. Her character was introduced as a brash and smart-mouthed girl, one whose snippiness earned her her name and whose recklessness could rival that of her Master’s. Over time, the character who audiences initially despised grew and flourished under Anakin’s tutelage and she developed into one of the most beloved and important Star Wars characters, so much so she has earned her own novel and reappearances and references in other media such as books, comics, and even TV shows.

It was early into the war where we were introduced to the spunky young padawan. It is revealed that Anakin did not choose her to be his student, which has been typical Jedi protocol for thousands of years. Instead, she had been assigned to him, much like Anakin was to Obi-Wan. Yoda, typically, was behind this unorthodox pairing, claiming it would teach Anakin a lesson in attachment, seeing as the little green gremlin is so disapproving of Anakin’s compassion. Yoda explicitly states that the Council hopes that training a Padawan will help Anakin deal with attachments because the Padawan, eventually, must either a) move on or b) die.

So basically, Yoda just sent a 14-year-old girl into a warzone, a child soldier, to be Anakin’s student, so he can watch her die and then get over it. This little girl was literally sent to Anakin so he could, once again, become too attached to her, then he could watch her leave or die or whatever sick plan Yoda had concocted for her, and then get over it, all in the hopes that this would magically cure Anakin of being over attached. Oh, goody! What a completely fool proof plan this is, this will definitely cure Anakin of being a decent, loving human being! Absolutely nothing could go wrong! EXCEPT THAT IS DOES.

It’s about two years later when Ahsoka is framed for murder and treason against the Jedi and the Republic after the temple is bombed. She goes on the run in an attempt to prove her innocence, since Yoda commands the Jedi to hunt her down. She is brought in before the Jedi and is trialed before them to determine her innocence or guilt. It is quite obvious the Jedi know she is innocent; she has served in the war dutifully for years and has made many friends among the council. But here comes good ol’ Tarkin, telling Yoda and the council that they have to expel her from the order so she can have a military tribunal, free of bias lies, deception). So of course, we expect the Jedi to tell Tarkin to stick his request further up his backside than that stick already in there, because why would they desert one of their own? Yoda would never throw one of his young students to the dogs at the slightest inconvenience, he would never abandon them in their time of need! Well, surprise plot twist! He does.

Knowing perfectly well that she is innocent, he exiles her from the order so the Republic can trial her. Just a side note, the Republic end up almost sentencing her to death, a minor, without sufficient evidence, which Yoda knew would happen. He doesn’t even give her a chance to properly argue their statement or explain why she ran from them, instead chalking her claims down to “her vision being clouded with the Dark Side.” Yeah, okay, that’s fine. Just condemn a teenage girl to death, why don’t you?

So anyways, Anakin ends up proving her innocence for her since Yoda made no move to defend her. Long story short, they end up offering to reinstate her position in the GAR and also offer her Knighthood because bribing people in an attempt to make them forget you wronged them is perfectly okay. Not only does he do this, but he never even apologises to her. No, “sorry, I know I basically condemned you to an execution even though you’ve served this order since you were three years old, I was completely wrong!” Just silence, while beside him, Mace wonderfully offers no condelences either for traumatising this girl and instead excuses their wrongs by saying it was actually her great trial. “Haha! Surprise, this was all just a big joke. You weren’t really gonna be killed, it was just your Knighthood trial! You’ve just been pranked by the prank patrol!”

So, Ahsoka, being the wonderful and smart girl she is, takes no shit from them and turns on her heel and leaves the order, consequently leaving Anakin. He’s pretty shattered, considering the girl he thinks of as a daughter just walked away from him and the only life she’s ever known. Here’s where the plan goes wrong: remember that oh-so-great plan Yoda had, the one where Ahsoka would leave and Anakin would get over it and cure his attachment issues? Yeah, no.

PART III: THINK I CAN’T CONDEMN THE ENTIRE GALAXY TO A REIGN OF EVIL? HOLD MY BEER!

Instead, this ordeal only pushes him further to the Dark Side, meaning Yoda’s plan has completely and utterly backfired. Didn’t exactly think that one through, did you, mate? Oh well, there’s still time to fix this, Yoda. Just tell Anakin that it’s okay to love and be attached to people, that it’s okay to be compassionate and caring, just as long as you don’t let attachments control you. This would’ve been some pretty good advice, some words Anakin desperately needed as he spiralled further towards the Dark Side. But no, as if Yoda hasn’t already learnt from his mistakes, he only makes them worse. Instead, when Anakin is almost at breaking point, he tells him, “Rejoice for those around us who transform into the Force. Mourn them, do not. Miss them, do not. Attachment leads to jealousy, the shadow of greed, that is." Anakin then questions what he must do, to which Yoda replies, "Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose."

Okay, people. We realise that Yoda just told Anakin to let Padme die, right? Anakin came to him so he could have guidance from the damn Grandmaster of the Order, and Yoda simply tells him oh, yeah, sorry mate, save them? No can do. Just let them die. You’ll get over it, bro. I’m sorry, but, do you literally never learn? You, of all people, know just how attached this man gets, and yet you still think that letting the ones he loves die is a good idea? Okay. Whatever. You do you, boo boo. You just better hope this doesn’t have any dire consequences, such as, I don’t know, the creation of one of the most powerful Sith Lords ever, the death of the Jedi Order and the Empire.

Look, I know Palpatine is basically the mastermind behind everything. He manipulated Anakin from when he was a boy and turned the Republic against the Jedi. But, come on, you cannot look me in the eye and tell me that Yoda was completely innocent. It was his own fault, from his hypocrisy to his ignorance, that the Jedi fell. He and the Jedi were working for the Dark Lord of the Sith for years and had no idea. Completely oblivious. Like, eating lunch with him. Taking orders from him. Sending inter-office funny emails back and forth. Yet, somehow, Yoda still had the gall to accuse both Ahsoka and Anakin for their sense of clarity being clouded. Um, okay, take a look at yourself, sweetie.

He had no regard, at all, for upholding the Jedi values. It was entirely his fault that he allowed his students to fall because he was responsible for caring for them and ensuring they were trained properly. Hell, he couldn’t even keep his own student from falling, and that’s not even adding to the fact that Dooku later became one of the most powerful Sith lords ever. Yoda’s students-going-crazy track record goes to show how much his methods have failed; two out of five students from his lineage fell to the Dark Side and one left the order. Yeah, kinda goes to show how far acting like a too-good-for-anyone-of-a-lower-rank-than-me-which-is-everyone attitude gets you.

So at this point it’s pretty clear; we’ve established that Yoda is dumb as hell. But, with the Jedi fallen and evil taking control of the galaxy, and after two decades of exile, he must have had some time to reflect on what he’s done wrong, right? Wrong.

PART IV: YOU THINK I FUCKED YOU UP? WAIT ‘TIL I FUCK THE REST OF THE FAMILY UP

So here we are. It’s 19 BBY and Anakin has gone on a bloody killing spree. Palpatine’s claimed himself as the Emperor and the galaxy’s in turmoil. Meanwhile, Yoda’s waiting on the asteroid of Polis Massa in relative safety waiting patiently on Kenobi’s arrival. And then here comes Obi-Wan carrying a half-choked-to-death Padme Amidala into the operating room because Jesus Christ she’s giving birth. We all know how the story goes. Padme dies, leaving her two children in the hands of Bail, Obi-Wan and Yoda. Yoda, being the complete genius he is, offers to split the children up, which strategically isn’t a bad move. But I can guarantee you, if Padme was still alive and Anakin were there, together they would’ve bashed Yoda’s brains out. Splitting the two most important children in the galaxy up is completely dishonouring Padme’s wishes, and there is no way she would approve of that. Anakin simply would’ve gutted Yoda before he had the chance to finish.

So twenty something years go by, and Luke somehow makes his way to Yoda, who has spent the last two decades in exile. Classic Yoda, taking the coward’s way out. Ahsoka and Kannan, two of the last Jedi who escaped Order 66 decided not to be cowards and put their skills to good use, fighting in the rebellion. They didn’t hide; instead they knew they had military experience and could use their forces to do good in the galaxy and fight the Empire. Even Obi-Wan had a good reason for remaining in exile; he had to look over one of the most powerful force users and make sure he was kept safe. But Yoda, good old Yoda. He had literally no reason for being in exile, and instead of fighting, he cowered.

Anyways, Luke decides he wants a real Jedi to train him! Yay! It’s all fun and games ‘til we realise that Yoda has not learnt a single. Damn. Lesson. I kid you fucking not. This dude literally had 20 years to reflect on what could have possibly gone wrong with his mentoring so, when the opportunity arises again to teach, he wouldn’t fuck it up. But no.

Arguably Yoda’s biggest fuck up with Anakin was that, instead of teaching Anakin that it’s okay to have attachments and to love as long as you don’t let them control your actions, he taught him that attachments were evil and they were a direct link to the Dark Side. Not only is this completely false, but Yoda knew better than to say this to Anakin, of all people. The whole damn Order knew how attached Anakin became to people and honestly, he wasn’t even discrete about it. So why the hell would Yoda be encouraging Anakin to leave his friends behind for the greater good? It was because of this philosophy that had been constantly rammed into Skywalker’s head that he fell. Instead of helping Anakin acknowledge his emotions so he can deal with them in a healthy manner, Yoda tells him to just push them down, or “release them into the Force,” whatever the fuck that means. If Anakin had been taught to embrace his feelings instead of pushing them down to the point of explosion, he wouldn’t have fallen.

So, we’ve established that it was pretty much Yoda and the Jedi’s teachings that caused the galaxy to fall into a period of turmoil, even if it was indirect and unintentional. By this point, two decades on when Luke lands (or rather, crashes) onto Yoda’s doorstep, the piece of shit gargoyle should have figured out what went wrong with this teachings and how to fix it, like any good teacher would. Bitch, you thought.

Instead, Yoda does the exact same shit that got him there in the first place. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it, right?

I’ll give it to the little guy; he started out alright, even if his old philosophies make literally zero sense. “Do or do not, there is no try,” what the fuck, you can’t do something without trying to do it, that’s literally how you do something. That’s always pissed me off, but anyways. It’s when the events of Cloud City start rolling in is where the problem arises. Luke comes to Yoda, does a bit of training, etcetera. Yoda tells him to look deep into the force, where Luke then sees a vision of his friends in grave peril in Cloud City. He expresses these concerns to his little green mentor, telling him Leia and Han need him and he must go to save them.

Its at this point where Yoda goes, “Fuck it. Esketit, bitch.”

It’s legitimately like Yoda doesn’t even give a single fuck at this point. I mean, who cares your training fucked up this boy’s dad, let’s just do it all over again! So, much to Luke’s chagrin, Yoda tells him he must complete his training and stay. “You must not go,” he tells him, before lifting his ship and submerging it into the swamp water. Man, what a fucking dick move.

Guess he realised how shitty that was so he later takes the ship back out. Luke decides he’s had enough with this goblin-lookin’ ass and starts departing for Bespin. Once again Yoda, now with ghost Obi’s help, tries in a desperate final move to make Luke stay, telling him he must complete his training and that only a fully-fledged Jedi Knight will have a chance at defeating Vader. Luke says he doesn’t give a fuck, he just wants to save his friends, to which Yoda replies he must sacrifice them if Luke honours what they fight for. Luke’s pretty pissed by this and, in true Skywalker manner, disobeys the two Jedi and leaves anyways, and rightly so. If someone told me I had to let my friends die horrible deaths just so I can stay in some shitty swamp I’d pummel them.

That sounds rather familiar, actually. Yoda telling someone to leave his friends behind for the greater good. Oh, wait! That’s exactly what he said to Anakin before the poor dude fucked up the entire galaxy. But, of course, Yoda doesn’t give a flying fuck about that, now does he?

PART V: OTHER STUFF THAT PROVES HOW SHITTY HE IS

So, at this point we’ve pretty much analysed most of the dumb shit Yoda has pulled that we know of in canon, but there’s a heap more. If I were to go into depth with everything, this would become a 10,000 word essay real quick, so let’s just skim over some points:

· Yoda’s a damn big hypocrite. I know I’ve already stated this in one context, but here’s another; Yoda wants complete loyalty to the Jedi and their morals, but isn't loyalty a type of attachment? Yoda gets real upset when people don’t show complete and utter adherence to the Code. So, I’m honestly kind of confused; is he encouraging attachment or not?

· Here’s another context in which he’s a hypocritical bastard; in regards to age, he claimed Anakin was too old to be a Jedi at age nine. But according to this source, Yoda did not become a Jedi until he was an adult. And seeing as his species live for about nine hundred years, I’d say it’s pretty safe to assume he became a Jedi after at least one hundred years of living. So Yoda can shut the fuck up, thanks.

· Yoda is a homophobe. This statement is a pretty well-known fact around fandom, so I don’t really need to go into specifics here besides mentioning that he fucked over Ahsoka and Luke, both known gays, and beat Artoo with a stick, an iconic droid lesbian.

· Yoda was responsible for directly exploiting Obi-Wan’s naivety and lack of experience so he could be used as a mere tool. He knighted Obi-Wan at too young of an age and didn't let him grieve properly, sticking him with a former slave and hoping things would turn out just fine. Anakin had just been taken from his mother, and needed time to get used to being a (relatively, in a sense) free boy and Jedi protocol. Yoda repeatedly forced Obi into situations where he had to ignore his own good judgement and attachment to Anakin just so he could follow the Council’s orders.

So, in short, I think it’s pretty clear that we’ve noted Yoda is Star Wars’ biggest asshole.

@anti-yoda

#anti-yoda #anti yoda #i think ive made it pretty clear that id dropkick his ass across the outer rim #also this ended up being 3700 words HAHJAHAJ

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