#meaning theres all these parts of himself that make him differ from the people who should be his peers which can lead him to feeling

[featherymainffins]

Now this might be because I have issues but is it just me or does Slay The Princess feel like an allegory for a relationship?

[sideboot]

In that scene, it looks like Sam is saying a dua, which is a type of Islamic prayer of invocation or supplication where the devotee is asking for help from God. When a Muslim recites a dua they position their hands the way Sam does in that scene. It's the same way Christians press their palms together when praying. (Disclaimer: I'm not Muslim myself but have lived in a predominantly Muslim area.)

Fuck yeah! Thank you so much! Canonically muslim sam (probably)! That would totally make sense for him to do right before the game that would decide on their relegation

I love canonically muslim sam. If Sam is observant of the muslim dietary restrictions, that means he wouldn't drink alcohol, which would even further bring out the contrasts to his character.

The primary way Sam contrasts from Ted and Jamie is that he has a good relationship with his father, but if you take the reading that Ted's father was an alcoholic, Sam and his father living completely sober is another way in which he strongly contrasts those characters.

I love Sam not drinking being contrasted with Jamie's choice being vanilla vodka, I meant to do a meta about the character implications of this being Jamie's go to drink per my partner's observations as an sober alcoholic.

[astrxealis]

i am so obsessed with fandaniel tbh. epitome of guy i want to shake around in a jar and study. i want to bite him. i want to put a clown nose and cat ears on him and watch him burn down the world and fall off a cliff.

[imagine-shenanigans]

sighs dramatically.

Okay but the ghost distribution system as we call it is hysterical but can we tlak about how None Of The 141 are built to date.

Like, sure, Gaz is great at flirting, and he's charming, but DATES? He's the type who asks you on a date because he thinks youre pretty/handsome/adorable/etc but by the time the two of you actually go on a date he's ready figured out like. the whole rest of your lives together. He's already imagined up 20 different scenarios of different dates, stalked your front-facing social media and found your secret or hidden accounts that theoretically don't link back to you. Sure, he's scrounged through your discord servers and your private messages and texts and a thousand other things while he was bored on leave. He knows enough to know that he's happy with what comes next. All dates are simply... ritual at this point? Something obligational, other than the fact he gets to spend time with you.

You're not going anywhere, he's just the least heavy handed of them, the one who'll let you think its your choice to keep him around until he's got his ring officially on your finger. Life won't go according to plan but he's prepared for that too. In his head, you're already married anyway, he's just working his way up to that part. He'll manufacture any scenario to keep you with him, because he wants you to be. And he'll make sure you want to be too.

Soap on the other hand is WAY less tactful about it. He's charming, and he'll take you on dates, sure, but the moment he spots you it's incredibly easy to get obsessed. He immediately drops an arm around you, purring in your ear and talking to you. Doesn't ask you on a date so much as demands it, puts his number in your phone and presses a kiss to your temple, his fingertips squeezing your chin before you leave. God forbid you let him into your home - he'll never leave if you do. Johnny's SUCH a physical guy that while, yes, personality matters, it seals the deal for him the moment he's got his tongue down your throat and his fingers in your pants. Something about the way you settle in against him makes him feel like he's home, and you will never get rid of him.

He's willing to take you on dates if you need more proof, but he won't even pretend like he doesnt already have a copy of your key. Like he's not telling the guys about the bonnie little thing he's going home to - he slips into your apartment/house/etc and into your bed without changing, barely finding time to slip his boots off. Presses one hand to your mouth and just... holds you. He'll fuck you within an inch of your life later when you're less panicked, sure, but he just wants to press his nose to your neck and breathe you in. If his hips rut against your ass, ignore it for now. (Haha... unless? No? okay in a minute then)

Price is just as manipulative as Gaz can be, just as charming as Soap and Gaz too. But he just... doesn't care, just like Simon. There's a reason so many people have Price with like... mail order bride or a "one day you look up and hes your husband" scenario and thats because he's good at what he does. And by that I mean being a husband and pumping you full of kids whether or not its physically possible. (Btw check out Ceil's mail order bride western au its good shit, or Bo's Kingpin Price drabbles, makes me lose it every time.)

He sees you walking about and the MOMENT you do anything remotely domestic - pick up a neice/nephew/babysitting kid/etc and put em on your hip? Rock hard. play peekaboo with a baby across from you at a cafe? pick up after yourself just to be polite to the waitress? he's already stalking you on multiple platforms theres no goddamn way youre getting away from him. He'll figure out where you go in your free time and insert himself there as naturally as possible. He's not particularly hiding what he's doing either - he likes to test you, to see if you notice things missing or moved. If you do, he'll be a little more cautious, use it as reason to drive you into hsi arms. If you don't he jsut views it as all the more reason to take you away - poor thing, you just can't help yourself can you? You're lucky nobody else has got their claws around you, hm?

[just-some-trans-nobody]

Nick Valentines x GN reader

Pure fluff for y'all, with a touch of angst at the end. I know theres like zero demand for fallout 4 fanfic but I made a poll idk how nany months ago asking if I should make some Nick Valentine fanfic and I got a couole of yes and exactly one follower from that poll. So this goes out to the small anount of people who said yes and that one follower I got from it, theres nore Nick fanfic to come I've just haven't gotten around to it yet but I promise I'll post some every so often.

Like always minors don't interact!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

He loves playing with your hair when he thinks your asleep. Sense he doesn't sleep he'll join you in bed when he needs a break from going over files and lay down with you so he can olay with your hair.

It started with him sitting on the edge of the bed looking at the wall as he thought about his most current case but when you started to stir in your sleep, having a bad dream, he laid down next to you and held you in his arms whispering sweet things to you until you calmed dow.

He found himself enjoying having you in his arms. Thus started a routine of him slipping into bed with you every so often to take a break.

Normally he would take a smoke break when you slept but he found himself craving a cuddle more than a smoke lately.

Soon every so often turned into every night of him crawlling into bed with you and getting up before you woke.

One night he had been loat in thought about something and hadn't noticed you waking up until he heared your tired voice ask him what he was doing.

"What? Oh sorry didn't mean to wake ya." He said pulling his hand away.

He was surprised when you asked him to keep playing with your hair. More than happy to oblige he started playing with it again.

It soothed you back to sleep in his arms snuggling into his chest as you slept soundly.

The next night when you got into bed you patted the spot next to you with an expectant look.

"You want me to join you or somethin?" Nick would ask looking to the bed then to you. Nodding you head you gavw him a big smile.

Who could say bo to that?

Nick was now "going to bed" with you every time you were. Really it was him laying in bed playing with your hair as he talked avout whatever case he had currently going on until you fell asleep.

He wouldn't admit it, at least not out loud but he adored this nightly routine the two of you had going on though he never hid the smile on his face every time he saw you getting ready for bed or how fast he was to crawl into bed with you to cuddle.

Nick always played it off cool as if it wasn't the favorite part of his day or anything.

If you asked he would probably say aomething like. "Just doing my job to keep those pesky nightmares away." Or "only making sure you don't stop breaming in your sleep. You humans are rather fragile after all."

Acts as if he isn't often the first one in bed waiting for you.

Before he atarted cuddlibg you every night he would work straight through the night till morning. He wouldn't even realized you had gone to bed till you walked oast him yawning telling him good morning.

Now though? He reminds you every night at 9pm sharp that you need to go to bed.

He'll play it off as your human and need to get a healthy amount of sleep as he actively take his coat and tie off to get comfortable.

If you buy him a pair of pajamas to wear he'll laugh avout it and say he doesn't need them.

He's wearing them the very next day.

If you gad gotten them before he started cuddling you every bight he would just give you a weird look for the thoughtless gift and put it in his empty dresser to collect dust or to be used by guests staying the night. He didn't sleep why would he need pajamas?

Now though? Might own three different pairs

You bet they match with your pajamas.

If anyone else sees him in his pajamas he'll puff out his chest as he puts his hands on his hips. "What? You never seen a synth in lounge wear before? Beat it, it's time for bed."

Nick takes bed time very seriously.

He's big spoon. It feels weird for him to be little spoon

Wont fight you if you want to try big spooning for once but he wasn't really into it

Nick much more prefers having you in his arms. It helps ground him and reminds him that you truly are here now with him and bot some memory from the past seeping into his present.

That and how can he play with your hair all night if he's not facing you silly?

He will lean in every so often and place a soft kiss on your forward as he whispers a soft "I love ya." As to bot wake you.

If he ever lost you he would lay in the bed alone holding onto your pajamas as he tried to think back on all those nights he spent laying in bed with you. He would stop after a few weeks as it hurt too much but after a few years when he had time to heal he would start doing it again so he could feel like you were there again. Nick didn't know how much he missed this, how much he missed you.

[starfxkr]

in regards to your post about disgust between jj nd kitten & tp!jj nd tp!reader… oh moony youve bewitched me again!!!!! i love nd could go on about how far jj’s depravedness is nd how much it gives kitten the ick foreverr… (as im someone who isnt necessarily germaphobic, i just need to be clean nd hate gross people) yet theres still a raw nd unbridled attraction to his vulgarity, nd trust he’ll make you tap into whatever unsavory ideas youve kept secret due to embarrassment which i think is so appealing :3 sure, he definitely does give off “bad boy” vibes, but thats so surface level to his character nd its so much more than that (this is where that bully conversation comes in) hes just your mutt of a boyfriend nd its so hot!

as for tp!jj… you make him into such a hard pill to swallow (which he is!) i wouldnt call it the sense of impending doom, but you really have to know what youre getting yourself into with him (which is already known around the park). like you said, different lines are being crossed constantly nd unbeknownst to you (until a certain point) theres been so much damage done to you emotionally, mentally, nd most importantly your psyche! his hot & cold nd push & pull attitude nd the random switch to the paternal like instinct he has over you is whats really jarring! you tell yourself its all in the name of love when tbf, youre not sure if youre looking for a father who loves his daughter or a lover who loves their partner. but whatever to fill that void, shes such a mess </3 nd its all his fault

— 🦢

see see u get it. with jj and kitten they've seen such nasty, depraved, mean parts of each other and he truly sickens her. like even beyond him being gross physically she also finds his personality to be kinda horrid! he's petty, and selfish, and reckless, and greedy and he's so so so angry. but for the most part he keeps a lid on it, all the girls who've hooked up with him or also had a situationship with him just view him as this generic bad boy from deep in the cut but like. kitten knows better. so she pokes and prods at him like a festering wound because she hates the facade, she hates how he lies to himself and other people. this is a girl who sure she seems mysterious but she's not, she lays it all out but it makes people uncomfortable so they ignore it. she tells gross stories of being a compulsive masturbator as a child to make people uncomfortable and the only person who laughs is jj. truly deep down she's kind of his ID which says a lot because he's already pure ID. he's gross, he smears cum on your face, he's mean, and he's a literal anal fiend. jj can only be his true self around her because she won't lie to his face and tell him it's okay or tell him it doesn't bother her, she's upfront with how much he makes her sick and yet she loves him because of it, not in spite of.

tp!jj...i fear i can not solely give yall the sexy forbidden age gap that most people would expect because that's just not fun. there's nothing to chew on. because everyone knows jj's no good, but he normally relegates that to women his age or just a few years younger not a whole 21, not one he used to buy water guns for when she was a kid. he remembers when your mom got knocked up (because she was 15 when he was a whole 21 like. come on there's layers here), he knows your dad fucked off because he was also a 15 yr old, he's seen you wandering around the trailer park as young as 13 looking for someone to let you stay the night because your mom locked you out. it's as clear as day how neglected you are and how you're starving for any kind of love and affection, and the thing is jj feels no real qualms about the age gap. that he doesn't care about. but there's this internal battle of whether to be your father or your lover so he kinda says fuck it and does both. but he's never quite had a good example of what a father is so even then he's emotionally distant and does the bare minimum of a roof over your head and food in your belly, but all the older men you've been with never even gave you that. you think he's in love with you (he will be, just not yet). you're constantly crying and telling him you love him and you only get a "mhm" as a reply if you get one at all which leads you to constantly craving his affection. he thinks he's doing you a favor by remaining emotionally distant while feeding and fucking you and not caring that it's blurring too many lines. he doesnt care that you call him dad on accident, it doesn't rattle him the way it rattles you because as long as he gets to fuck you later what's the harm in playing at being your daddy for a bit?

[subarashiihibi]

my thing about izaya is that he's so strange and weird and i love that so much. i didn't want to ramble too much in the notes of that poor person's post but i find the way he speaks and the words he chooses so interesting so let me ramble a little bit. this may or may not even be coherent so bear with me here im just going to speak my thoughts.

ok this got really fucking long and all over the 0place so im putting this under a read more sorry.

so i have volume 9 of the novel in both english and japanese. i only have two novels in japanese and that is this one and yuuyake wo. so i'm pretty crazy about this izaya speech analysis shit. anyways i was rereading thru the jp ver the other day just to compare it to the eng and i kinda realized that like.

a lot of people you can separate their speech in either formal and informal speech right? someone like shizuo speaks really informally and uses a lot of rough, dragged-out versions of words and stuff (しゃーねえ vs しょうがない) and then someone like shinra who speaks in a ton of yojijukugo and generally sounds like a nerd emoji gijinka.

izaya on the other hand rly... doesn't fit in either? i mean sure he sounds like another nerd emoji gijinka but it's kinda different. it's not so much the words he speaks but rather the intonation and his tone...

and he has his moments where he speaks pretty seriously and whatnot of course, but in general he just... doesn't sound very human when he speaks? i don't know if that's a conscious effort or not. is it his attempts at distancing himself from his own individual humanity? or is it just because he's a weird guy? i dunno. but it's interesting nonetheless.

one thing i will note though is that despite his somewhat inhuman speech patterns, it's also pretty...dramatic? to the extent where it's really exaggerated but also very cute and charming. (this part is important.)

i think a lot of what makes izaya's speech so weirdly inhuman is because he doesn't really use a lot of slang or similar lingo that people his age would typically use. i know mikado said in the novels that he doesn't really try to fit in with his age group's fashion sense either so it makes sense but still. he's like an old hag it's so funny. and it's because of that that when he says stuff like 'i don't get all hot and heavy over headless women' or whatever he said to celty it's really amusing to me because like... why is the strange man saying this?💀

another example i kinda giggled about on my twitter when i read it it's not even crazy and i sound corny and cheesy and stupid but theres this scene in vol 9 where izaya messages celty for business and hold on let me just put it as a quote.

he sounds so old saying 'video game' like 😭 idk it's just funny cause he barely even knows anything abt games like bro knows nothing im crying

in the jp hes like 「…ゲーム中なのかい？」 and then when celty tries to explain herself he says 「何を言ってるのか、良く解らないんだけど」 and im rly bad at tling parts of sentences and stuff but just know that the way he words it makes it sound like this gif to me

i love both versions i think the original jp makes him sound like hes so lost and confused (hence why pw gif cause lord that man always looks lost LMFAOOOO) and then eng tl just blunt ass "I don't know what you're talking about." makes him sound like full on hag 😭😭😭

OMFG WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THIS FUCKING SCENE WITH SHINRA ITS SO FUNNY.

first i think it's funny the translation has izaya say fuck here cause he very rarely swears and i did read this one thing about how he only swears when his mask slips so to me this is like genuine bewilderment that he cant even hide LOL. second why is he so excited to hear about 'whatever sexual fetish' shinra has im crying he's so damn nosy . okay but this is not the funniest part let me add that now.

???

ehy the hell is izaya orihara talking about foot fetishes???😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im crying bruh i was so flabbergasted when i read this i was like WHAT did he just say? he says it in the jp ver too which just makes it even funnier. this goes back to what i said earlier but i always get so amused when izaya has something to say about sex or whatever cause he's so fucking weird and unsettling why does he know that

(i mean i also get so hard i nearly pass out thinking about izaya tlaking about sex but thats probably just a thing with my heart condition and stuff)

oh also another scene i think is really cute and amusing and funny is back when shinra was first still trying to get izaya to form the bio club w him.

1. shinra is funny as fuck in this scene but also izaya's "Hmm. Can I punch you?" made me havbe a good laugh. in the jp he says 「んー。殴ってもいいのかな？」 which is pretty much the same thing just with the intonation of like 'hmmmmmmmmm should i hit u or not...' sorry like i said im just bad w explaining this stuff. but i felt the need to point it out not cause im one of those annoying ppl who praise the original jp ver and reject translations and localizations i just think it's important for izaya specifically cause i love him and i want to analyze his speech patterns as best as i can.

i was going thru the novel just now for other stuff i wanted to mention and i forgot abt this part but it's so funny.

'Let's not get hasty. Type calmly, please.' its not even funny or nothing i just find it so amusinf whenever he talks like that💀 i will say though the english translation kind of makes him sound more weird and inhuman than the original. that line in the original was basically just him telling her she needs to calm down enough to at least type properly LOL. idk if im just being nitpicky cause this is izaya tho so feel free to ignore that. fwiw i like the eng tl bc while it's a different intonation than the original japanese ver i think if he did speak english it would probably sound smth like that anyways.

this too made me laugh like ??? seriously he is really nosy when it comes to people's intimate affairs. in the jp ver he calls them an 'intimate couple' which just is like .. ok bro💀

does anyone else see my vision of izaya getting cucked by celty (does it count as cucking when celtys the one dating shinra) while he looks sad and pathetic and miserable that he never decided to shoot his shot w shinra back in the day

if i were commenting on the actual stuff going on in this scene rn this post would be a lot olonger and even more terribly all over the place so im just gonna focus on how i think it's funny izaya says 'easy, man...' this is like one of the only times his words are somewhat natural and sound like smth you would hear someone else say. in the jp ver it's 「おいおい…」 which is somewhat less out of left field in terms of coming from izaya but still it's pretty surprisingly normal. i have to wonder if in that moment he's too worried about shinra to care about keeping up appearances.

this is just random and me making fun of izaya as usual but why the hell does he weigh himself after his showers💀💀💀 it's cute and endearing and only adds to his strong gap moe but still... it's strange...

speaking of cute things this is from a volume i forget but he says this one phrase a couple of times and it is just both really cute and also kind of idk... saddening. one of the times i can remember he says it is when namie was making fun of him or something and he replies 'Don't tease me. I'm only human.' or something along those lines and it's like . hm. ok.

i think it's cute he says 'dont tease me' a few times cause eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (trying to ward off severe brain damaged incoherent thoughts) but 'im only human' is like... are you really? even after you try so hard to escape your own humanity and individual self so much... im going to try and give my thoughts on it here but this is just based off my hc that izaya has bpd so yanno. im basing a lot oif this on my own experiences sorry. i do that a lot. (gestures over to all the posts i make abt fob/mychem fan izaya)

when it comes to just straight up acknowledging his humanity izaya has no problems with this because 'sure, i'm human. isn't that obvious?' is probably something along the lines of what he thinks. it's easy for him to just say that because it's just that. it's just words. it holds no real meaning and shows no true insight into how he actually perceives himself. but when it comes to actually having to come face to face with his own humanity and the fact that yes, he is only human, it's a lot more difficult because now it's out of his control. i wonder also if he has problems with perceiving his own self.

i say this a lot but i truly do believe izaya is so so so beautiful and i love him so much. also i just saw a funny post on twitter so i wanna say this here idk if yall know this but izayas actually a latina hes got chismosavirus❤ ok thats all i have to say sorry for rambling so much

[lackofbrains]

i dont really know how to work tumblr posts and im not really a good writer but i wanted to write a velvet x reader story since theres hardly any on here

story info:

its kind of angst but like ends with fluff or whatever its called

so basically you’re like a pop artists along with velvet an veneer, and you’re like almost more famous than them and velvet gets really jealous and starts to hate you, but in the end she realizes she doesnt.

—————————————————————————-

y/n's POV

"so y/n your new song is at the top of the charts!" the interviewer fred or whatever his name was said, i honestly couldnt care to remember his name. "yeah. im so greatful for everyone who listens to my songs i wouldn't be here without all of you!" i replied directing the last part towards the audience in front of me. they all cheered in response and i smiled a bit, loving the attention and thankful for the fans. "awww, thats so sweet! so we need to know, is there any new songs in the making?" he asked me really prominently on the need part. "welllllll" i drug out my word trying to thing of a good response. i get really awkward and anxious around huge crowds, kind of a bad thing for a pop star but. "i may be working on a new song, look out for teasers on my instagram." im so excited for the new song to release its definitely gonna be one of my best songs yet "okay we'll make sure to check!" he glanced down at his watch, i guess the interview was finally over thank goodness. "well, y/n. looks like our interview is sadly over, it was great having you thanks so much for coming" he said "no, thank you! this was great-" i stood from the comfy sofa i was on "and thank you all for coming!" as i said that the crowd went crazy, mount rageons screaming all over the place. it was kind of overwhelming so i probably walked faster than i needed to off stage, as i got backstage i blew out a sigh of relief, thankful for the opportunity to spread my music but also thankful it was over.

                                velvets POV

"ughhhhhhh" i groaned "i cant stand her and her goody two shoes self, shes so annoyinggggg" i complained to my brother, veneer. "shes not annoying velvet, she seems really nice." he replied to me, i abruptly took my feet off the coffee table they were on and turned to him. did he really just say that to me. "why are you defending our competition!" i basically screached at him, "sorry, velvet. i wasnt lying though, you just like to see the bad in people" he sighed, crossing his arms like the sassy twink he is. "i cant stand you sometimes! its like you want us to be second best." i really did not understand why he was defending someone thats trying to take MY crown. i got up off the couch and walked away from him, i mean yeah she may be nice and pretty but shes trying to take whats mine and that cannot happen."

(time skip to some award show thingy that i just made up bc it helps the plot)

                                y/n's POV

looking around i see so many different singers, some well known, some not as much and probably werent even invited in the first place. as my eyes scan the crowd of celebrities, looking for my friend, f/n, they land on no other than veneer himself, standing with my mortal enemy, velvet. the green haired twins were my competition and i had to beat them. i honestly didnt mind veneer too much, he seemed like a nice guy. velvet on the other hand, i had a totally different opinion on. ever since she basically said my music sucked in an interview of hers, and no i don't just watch all her interviews(yes you do dont lie), i havent liked her, thats an understatement. i cannot STAND velvet.

as i was in my own little word of dislike towards the prettier twin, i didnt notice someone standing right in front of me. i looked up expecting the brown caring eyes of f/n, only to be met with cold blue eyes. i sharply inhaled, to be honest scared out of my mind "y/n!" "what are you doing here?!" the green haired girl shriecked, "i was... invited..?" i replied in a hushed tone, not being able to find my voice. "well you shouldnt of been, your music sucks, and overall you dont deserve any award." she replied, flipping her hair asif i wasnt even there? "okay... well my song on top of the months best pop song chart says otherwise" i said turning around and walking away before she could hear the last part of that, she had really pretty eyes..

"y/n!" i hear from behind me, this time from a more scruffier voice. i turned around recognizing the voice was coming from f/n. "there you are! i was looking for you everywhere." "i saw.. i also saw your run in with the twins. tell me everything!" i groaned at that last bit "no f/n it was scary enough i dont need to repeat it." i replied also turning away from him "attention! all invited pop singers, please make your way to the stage!" 'finally' i thought to myself, ive had to wait an hour and a half through the rock, country andddd rap awards.

im going absolutely insane, why did i have to be seated RIGHT NEXT TO VELVET. its like torture, i could feel her eyes on me for the whole 10 minutes it took to introduce everyone, it was awful, but sort of nice in a way.

(time skip to the actual awards bc im a horrible writer and cannot care enough to try and fill the gap with sappyness)

"andddd the award goes to-" his eyes widened as he read the slip of paper with the award winners name on it "velvet and veneer-" he was interrupted once again only this time not by himself, but by the crowd behind him going crazy "wait!" he said and they all quieted down just enough to hear him, i looked beside me and velvets smile dropped hearing him say that "AND y/n y/ln!" the crowd went even louder this time, i gasped hearing my name "well dont just sit here come get the award..s?" all three of us walked torwards him, i looked to my left towards velvet and she actually smiled at me, and not even a condescending one! we both took the awards, as we walked back to our seats, velvets arm brushed against mine, i got so flustered i had to turn away so she didnt see me blushing. i dont know why i was acting so weird i hated her... right? "congratulations to the winners of this months most amazing pop stars!!" the crowd hadnt stopped yelling yet, i was fidgeting uncomfortably in my seat, picking at my hands, feeling a panic attack coming along, when suddenly i felt a hand on top of my own, locking fingers with me. i was so shocked i didnt even wanna look because i knew the amazingly pink painted nailed hands belonged to.... velvet.

she had held my hand the rest of the show, which in reality was about 10 minutes but felt like hours with her hand in mine, her hands were so soft.

(time skip to like after the show but like not left yet bc thats so unsexy an doesnt fit my amazing plot)

i was standing around the desert table talking to f/n, well it was really him talking about how much i deserved the award and how great my music is. he really knows how to make someone feel special. i looked around for velvet spotting her talking to her brother, i really wanted to speak to her, my "hatred" for her had turned to love in less than 3 hours.

"yeah you were obviously winning the awar-" f/n was cut off mid sentence by the green haired girl that i couldnt get out of my mind "hey y/n can i talk to you?" she asked me, her cold demeanor still up but i felt like there was something under her coldness, i followed her after muttering a quick "sorry" in f/n's direction.

we finally got to a deserted hallway when she finally spoke "are you okay?" she asked, cold demeanor slipping as soon as we were alone "y-yeah why wouldnt i be?" i asked stumbling over my words abit because of the close proximity between us..

velvets POV

her stuttering was kinda cute. "because you seemed like you were gonna pass out, babe" i couldn't catch myself before the pet name slipped out, i guess its out there that i dont reslly hate y/n now. i guess i just didnt like the idea of not being on top, but now that we're both on top its kinda nice. "oh yeah that..." she trailed off, blushing a bit, either from embarrassment or the pet name, probably the latter if we're being honest. "sorry, i just get a bit overwhelmed with thr crowds and loud screaming, which i know is weird since im a pop star- so i basically signed up for this-"y/n" "and they probably saw me too and they think i hate them now- and im gonna lose the award-"y/n" "and im not gonna be able to write music anymore because everyones gonna hate me, and ill have no money- and ill be homeless and-"y/n!" i finally got her attention finally silencing the rambling girl "sorry.." she looked really upset "its okay y/n, you dont need to apologize. you did nothing wrong i promise." i replied tucking a loose strand of hair behind her hair, finally noticing how close we were. "velvet" y/n whispered, as i cupped her cheek "hm?" i hummed leaning in a bit waiting for her to initiate what was about to happen(consent is sexy) "are you sure" she muttered "mhm" and with that she finally closed the gap, her soft lips meeting mine. when we finally seperated we were both panting from the lack of air. "that was..." "great" i finished her sentence. "would you wanna maybe, you know. go out tomorrow?" i asked, still a bit flustered from the kiss. "like a date?" she said teasingly "y-yeah. a date." "of course, what time are you picking me up" she said with a smirk "is 8 good?" "see you at 8 velvs" and with that she gave me one more peck and walked away.

[kiruyeen]

rambling abt my danny johnson hcs bc I dont have anything better to do

alright so the fog most definitely changed everyone in it, but while most of them are for worse, Danny for better, actually. not for the "hehe I can mutilate people without worrying abt consequences" part. by all means I believe danny would get bored. of the same methods of killing, sacrifing, stalking for short periods, the same realms, same victims, etc. Danny, as patient as he can be while stalking, is a thrill seeking man, and only human, whether he likes it or not.

but this is a key part of him actually getting to explore who 'danny johnson' is. he spent his entire life putting on masks, physical or metaphorical, that he has no idea who 'danny' is otherwise, and this would give him a chance to explore, since, well, being painfully average isnt any advantage to him here and he has nothing better to do since he cant focus his attention on stalking and studying other people. when theres no one left to study, one is forced to study themselves.

he could actually grow out his hair, give himself stick and poke tats (maybe with the help of the legion, who knows), grow a beard to see if he likes it (I dont think he would), etc.

going from this, if he forms genuine bonds with anyone (especially any survivors) bc yk what else is left to do, he could actually, just maybe, open up about his past and realize oh fuck, that shit wasnt healthy or normal at all. I dont think itd fix him, but itd give him a better understanding of himself. I dont think he would ever upon up about this if it wasnt for the fog.

similarly I dont think he'd form any romantic bonds with anyone if it wasnt the fog as well, I fully believe danny used to cut himself off (more accurately, cut THEM up) as soon as he felt his feelings for anyone would get in the way of his mission. I dont think he even recognizes romantic love anymore. the difference in the fog is, well, you cant get rid of your problems by murdering them here bc they just come back like a boomerang.

he semi-canonly has NPD (as in the devs called him a bit narcissistic once and I stuck to it like a starving leech) and I most definitely believe he has the symptoms, as a lack of a sense of self is common with NPD anyway. I never wanna think too much abt this since I have a deeply set fear of misrepresenting already stigmatized disorders esp due to not having NPD myself but I will say, 1, he definitely has an internal hierarchy but the way he feels abt those above and below him are different than you'd assume, and 2, he would have been a murderer regardless of his npd and the npd has nothing to do with him becoming a murderer, it does influence it naturally yes bc its a PERSONALITY disorder but its not what makes him evil yk. its the ritualized abuse he went through all his life with the explicit intent to make him the way he is.

other, small stuff

so since the entity can and does change a few things with the killers, I love to think Danny has tapetum lucidum in his eyes, like a cat, to see better in the dark, esp beneath the mask's eyes.

the way his costume's... strap.. tentacle... things work is similar to a cat's tail as well. swishing furiously when upset, resting naturally when calm, curling slowly when curious etc. it makes it a little bit easier to guess how hes feeling with the emotionless mask on, for the theoretical audience at least.

he's actually not a fan of physical contact, unless it is to cause discomfort to or fluster someone. he's simply not used to it, but he will tolerate it when necessary. he's likely just touch starved but doesnt recognize the sensation, though.

he would not care enough to label his orientational identity but it'd definitely be pan and somewhere on the a-spectrum.

returning to the only getting to know himself after the fog bit, he'd probably realize hes at least a little bit gender queer. (I also love trans man danny headcanons I just cant seem to make it fit with my other hcs)

alr thats abt it I believe. feel free to share ur ideas as well I love reading abt different interpertations for a character esp when it is the silly sopping wet cat that is danny

[lastoneout]

like real people do

Fandom: Pokemon Legends Arceus Rating: M Warnings: None Relationship(s): Professor Laventon/Captain Cyllene Word Count: 5,115

Summary:

During a late night at work, Captain Cyllene reveals to Professor Laventon that she's never been kissed. The two of them decide to do something about it. (A/N: This fic is only about 99% finished, but as it's been that way for several years now I figure it's time to stop keeping what I do have done all to myself. I've inserted explanations where the missing paragraphs are, so you should have all the context you need, there's just some missing prose.)

[The start was supposed to be something about two recruits getting caught making out and being punished for it, and then later that night, after everyone has gone home, Laventon and Cyllene are chatting and it comes up, at which point she says something about the recruits being careless or foolish, which leads into...]

"Yes, well," Laventon chuckles nervously, "the allure of such activities can pose quite the distraction at times."

Cyllene doesn't look at him, instead focusing on the papers in her hands, nimbly tapping the bottom of them against her desk and shifting them together so they fall into order with a satisfying thwhip, before placing them on the stack in front of her, all the corners lined up as uniform as soldiers, not a single page out of place.

"I wouldn't know," she says, the sentence as purposeful as her hands, not a word more or less than strictly needed in her usual clear, firm tone, though there is an unmistakable touch of something quite foreign to her voice—shame. 

Laventon's own embarrassment flares in response, and in his haste to correct his faux pas his words come in a veritable tsunami, starkly contrasting her concise reply. "O-oh, apologies Captain, I didn't mean to make assumptions! Enjoying things of that nature is far from a universal experience, t-theres hardly any reason to feel ashamed of not being interested, in fact, I'd say there's no reason at all-" 

"You misunderstand," she interrupts, "my inexperience is not due to a lack of interest on my part. There's simply never been anyone who reciprocates." 

That stops him dead in his tracks, his mind struggling with the idea that not a single person has ever found the Captain charming enough to so much as kiss, and before he can stop himself that doubt slips out. "Surely that's impossible-"

Her eyes at last meet his, her gaze sharp and cold, giving him the distinct impression that he's made an entirely different sort of blunder. "I don't make a habit of lying, Professor." 

"Of course," he agrees, calming his tone to hopefully convey his own honesty, "Of course, I apologize, that was insensitive of me. I've only ever known you to be truthful, I didn't mean to suggest otherwise."

Cyllene nods, silently accepting his apology. 

Still, Laventon has never been one to leave well enough alone—if he was he doubts he'd have lasted long in his line of study—and his disbelief fades into a strong flare of indignation, lashing out at the very idea that no one has ever deemed Cyllene worthy of their desire. "I just find it difficult to believe that you've faced such stark rejection," he continues. "Forgive me for overstepping, but anyone would be quite lucky to find themselves the object of your affection, Captain." 

A breath of silence passes between them as she searches his gaze, but before he can be sure of what she's looking for—or if she found it—her eyes drop to the desk in front of her and she politely replies, "That's kind of you to say." 

"I mean it! The people who have turned you down were surely fools. I wouldn't bother taking their misguided opinions personally."

"Indeed," she says, her tone barely on the courteous side of dismissive, and she stands, further signaling her disinterest in continuing this discussion. "Regardless of anyone's opinion of me or the reasoning behind it, I am incapable of fully understanding why a person would be so taken with desire that they ignore their duties, and even if I was, I doubt I'd agree. Aside from the separation of one's work and personal lives..." she pauses then, the first sign of uncertainty slipping past her ironclad control, "I imagine such activities would be better enjoyed when one has ample time to spend on them. Pleasure can be quite rare in this world, surely the haste and risk of interruption cheapens what I assume would be an otherwise pleasant experience."

Laventon nods, and while he knows it would be best to leave well enough alone, but the moment has left him flustered and anxious, and he can't seem to stop himself from rambling on in a hapless attempt to return to normalcy. "That is a fair point, though I can assure you, desire can be quite overwhelming at times, driving one to indulge in any spare moment they can.” He pauses, letting out a thankfully more composed laugh and shaking his head. “In truth, some even find the threat of discovery rather enticing in its own way.” 

"Again," she reiterates, her silent insistence that they drop the subject becoming decidedly less polite, "I wouldn't know." 

And yet, against all odds, he opens his mouth once more. "Well, it's not entirely impossible to change that, with the right help, of course."

Silence falls again, their faces both slowly turning red as the implication of his words settles over them, heavy and impossible to ignore. 

Laventon almost immediately wants to say something—anything—but the words at last refuse to come, dancing just out of reach as his mind sorts through the mess of emotions churning in his chest that only grow stronger and stronger with each passing second. 

He's embarrassed first and foremost, how could he not be, offering to kiss his Captain like some sort of lecherous fool? Even if he hadn’t meant anything disrespectful by it—he’s always been eager to make himself useful—it was still incredibly rude and he should absolutely apologize, but before so much as a simple “I’m sorry” can make it past his lips something else captures his attention, an enticing feeling disarmingly close to interest simmering under his remorse.

Would he be interested in acting on his accidental offer? Perhaps he would. Cyllene is quite beautiful, and a lovely person to boot. Even if it was just to help her gain experience, a friend helping a friend, kissing her...well, as he looks at her now lucky hardly feels like the right word. Perhaps offering in the first place was a senseless move, but backing out should she accept, that would truly be a foolish mistake indeed. 

"Forgive me, Professor," she starts, her words no less purposeful despite the uncharacteristic shyness weighing them down, "but do you mean to offer...?"

"Yes," he replies without so much as a moment's hesitation. 

"I see." 

Neither of them move, a strange, nerve-wracking, tempting feeling building in the air. Anticipation, like the crackle before thunder, or the second after one only barely dodges a pokemon attack. Unsafe, perhaps, but exhilarating nonetheless, and prone to leave one with a craving for more.

Still, despite his now quite ardent interest, the sense that he's made an ass of himself finally becomes impossible to ignore, and his practiced courtesy—as well as his desire to stay in the Captain's good graces—wins out. "Apologies, Captain, I don't mean to, t-there's no pressure, of course. I just, you deserve to experience things, if you'd like to, that is, and I- I'd be honored to be your first, or, uh- if you wanted me to h-help you-" 

Cyllene still doesn't respond, but that's not a yes any more than it's a no, so he firmly shuts his mouth, giving her the time and space she needs to decide.

And decide she does, just a moment later. "Alright." 

Laventon is too shocked to be anything but almost manically enthusiastic. "Brilliant! Well, there's no rush, of course, you just let me know when-"

"Now seems appropriate," she replies, seemingly ignorant of the contradiction of their setting—or, perhaps, it's more that she's stubbornly refusing to acknowledge it at all.

He almost points it out, but the building is empty and they're both nearly done with the day's work anyway, and he's far to taken to do anything but play along. "I couldn't agree more!" 

Cyllene gives him an odd, almost amused look, before coming around her desk slowly, each step closer making his heart race all the faster, until she's standing in front of him and his pulse is so intense he begins to worry he may pass out. 

Because goodness, she's far more beautiful than he ever noticed now that he's really paying attention, now that she's close, her face tilted up ever so slightly so she can maintain eye contact. He was wrong, he realizes, lucky doesn't even begin to cover whatever kind twist of fate has blessed him of all people with the chance to kiss someone like her. 

"As I said," she starts, her voice confident, yet quiet and intimate, a conflicting display that leaves him reeling, "I'm inexperienced, so I trust that you'll take the lead?" 

"Yes, of course. Leave all that to me." 

"Thank you. I'm ready when you are." 

Cyllene tilts her head again and lets her eyes fall closed, and while the angle is a bit wrong and there's a blush staining her pale cheeks he takes a moment to marvel at her nerve, envious that she can face something like this so fearlessly. 

He owes her no less than the same, he decides, and quickly brings a hand to her jaw to gently shift her face to the correct position before leaning down, his own eyes falling closed as his lips make contact with hers. 

It's slow, chaste—nothing more than a gentle bit of pressure—but his heart still skips a beat. She's warm, and so very soft, and though this isn't about him or a precursor to any other activities, he can't help the wave of desire that crashes over him, making him crave more.

He reminds himself to resist it. He's a gentleman—or at the very least a decent person—after all and Cyllene is his Captain as well as someone he considers a friend, he'd never risk ruining that bond by disregarding her consent. Besides, doing such a thing would sour the experience beyond salvage, and he already knows he wants to savor every second of this, commit it to memory so he can revisit it again as often as he'd like. 

His desire only grows at sight that greets him when he breaks the kiss; Cyllene's slate-blue eyes half-lidded as she gazes back at him, the blush on her cheeks far darker than it was before. 

Still, she's as honest as ever. "Interesting." 

"Interesting?"

"It wasn't at all unpleasant," she explains, "but I hardly think it's alluring enough to distract one at inopportune times." 

Even years later he'll struggle to understand exactly why he opened his mouth again, but that doesn't change the fact that he quickly replies, "Well, that was just a small kiss. The...distracting ones tend to be a lot more intense, to put it mildly." 

"I would assume they must be...still, I can’t imagine the difference is that profound." 

“I assure you, it is,” he chuckles awkwardly, face flushing, "though I must admit I’m not entirely sure how to describe it..."

Another beat of silence, and then, "Show me." 

"Oh!" he practically squeaks, feeling himself begin to drown in dual blinding panic and overwhelming desire to fulfill her request. "A-alright, as you wish. Just, uh, follow my lead, but do speak up if you want to s-stop, of course, and...feel free to- um, you know, take the reins, if you'd like." 

"Understood." 

Laventon keeps things simple at first, gently guiding her to move her lips against his while mostly closed, before finally parting his, heart hammering when she follows suit. 

He goes slowly, giving her as much time as possible to get used to things, but despite that less than a second after his tongue presses past her lips she lets out a shocked sound and jumps back, falling into a stiff stance nearly a full foot away from him. She tries to recover, or at least act natural, and nearly manages it, but the bright crimson blush coloring her face and the hand she's holding over her mouth betray her true feelings. 

"I'm sorry," he starts nervously, holding his hands up apologetically, "That's just um, how this s-sort of thing works..." 

"I know that," she practically snaps, letting her hand awkwardly fall to her side. 

He's not sure he entirely believes her, but either way he chooses to shoulder the blame. "Regardless, I should have warned you." She looks as if she can't decide if she agrees or not, so he continues, "Anyway, the last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable, Captain, and you've had a kiss now so, we can stop-" 

She shakes her head, some of her nervousness fading. "I don't want to stop. It was...simply an unfamiliar sensation, and it caught me by surprise."

"Are you quite sure? I don't want you to feel pressured-"

"I don't feel pressured, or uncomfortable, and I'm sure. If you're willing to continue, then so am I," she insists, starting to sound almost close to eager, and a fair bit more confident.

He nods. "Yes, I- um, I'm willing." 

Cyllene steps closer and tilts her head up once more, her stance more relaxed, though still guarded. "I'm ready." 

"Alright." 

This time Laventon tries to go even slower, to keep things progressing as naturally as possible, but in an apparent effort to maintain her composure she swings so far in the other direction that she hardly reacts at all when things move forward. It's undeniably awkward, leaving him feeling a bit like he's just poking at a statue, but soon enough she pushes past whatever is keeping her frozen and hesitantly moves in tandem with him.

It's still awkward, as she has no idea what she's doing, but the two of them have always worked well together and she's a quick study, and when she finally starts to get the hang of it the sensation that he lacked the words to describe begins to build up warm in his chest. It drives home how right he was, at least in his opinion, as even the slightest hint that she may agree to it would surely make the temptation to come do this with her at even the most inappropriate times incredibly distracting, to say the very least. 

And goodness soon distracting isn't even enough to cover it, because as the awkwardness fades and she becomes more confident, more bold—and almost desperate, needy, like she's waited her whole life for this moment and doesn't plan on passing up even a second of it now that it's come—his sense starts to leave him completely, the desire for more cementing itself firm in his chest. It makes his face burn and heart stutter and fingers flex at his side, barely resisting the urge to reach out, wrap her in his arms, and pull her close. If he can hardly hold his ground against that small temptation right now, knowing this was just on the other side of the door, waiting for him...heavens it would be like dangling water in front of a man dying of thirst. Far too cruel to even dwell on for long. 

Thankfully that train of thought is quickly swept away, because after a particularly arousing slide of her lips against his she suddenly tilts her head a bit more, letting herself get even closer, before reaching up of her own volition and gently resting her hands against his chest, her fingers hesitantly taking hold on his vest. 

It's almost overwhelming how instantly consumed by her presence he feels, and all at once he realizes that perhaps it's not just the kissing that he likes—though that is incredibly nice and she's becoming rather good at it unfairly quickly and it's sating his own baser needs exceptionally well—no perhaps what he truly likes is kissing her.

Just then, as if to convince him, she lets out a soft noise, something small right at the back of her throat, and leans in just a bit more, her fingers tightening their grip on his vest. It's beautiful, perfect, and for a moment the lustful desire gives way for pure, honest, burning affection. It's all the confirmation he needs. 

He likes her.

Oh, good heavens, he likes her. 

How had he not realized it before? They've known each other for years by now and have spent nearly every day together, surely he should have noticed that his feelings had drifted beyond platonic at some point. What point even was it? When had he started to appreciate her not as a coworker and captain, but as a companion? Someone he wanted around not merely because they share a common goal or mutual respect, but simply because it's her and things don't feel right if she's not beside him? Perhaps it all just happened so slowly, so naturally, that it hardly even registered until now, when it's finally right in front of him and impossible to ignore. 

Those people she spoke of, the ones who turned her down? They truly were fools. How could they not see how blessed they were? Laventon counts himself as fortunate just to share this moment with her, to be trusted so deeply that she isn't afraid to accept his help, to be able to stand close and truly take in how gorgeous she is, and yes, to kiss her, to hope that he's making her feel just as good as he does. To relish in it all, no matter how briefly, with a person he cares so very deeply for. If she even slightly returned these newfound emotions? He'd feel like the luckiest person alive. 

Pulling away is harder than it has any right to be, but when the time comes he manages, though he goes slowly, selfishly lingering in every last precious second until they're finally parted. 

"Do you understand now?" he asks softly, torn between staring into her eyes and gazing down at her lips, both sights overwhelming in their own way. 

Cyllene shakes her head, though he gets the distinct—and flattering—feeling that she’s chosen now to finally be dishonest. "It's...enjoyable," she explains, voice breathless and halting, "but I don't see how it's distracting-" 

Once again, he opens his mouth, caving to the desire to drag this moment out. "Well, admittedly, you t-typically get much- um, closer, than this..." 

"Closer?" she asks, a hint of urgency in her voice as she looks down at their bodies. They aren’t touching aside from her hands resting on his chest, but they’re still barely inches apart. 

"Yes." 

Cyllene wastes no time stepping forward until they're pressed flush against one another, forcing him to swallow nervously as his heart threatens to give out completely. "Like this?" she asks, meeting his gaze to confirm she hasn't misunderstood.

"Yes, s-sometimes or...almost." Because yes, often this is as close as couples bother getting, but no matter how much of her he has it's still not enough, and his eyes drift over to her desk beside them, though his voice one again fails him, as he's far too embarrassed with himself to explain. 

But she follows his gaze and puts the pieces together, and rather than be offended or embarrassed, she instead barely takes a moment to consider it before she steps past him and in one smooth movement hops up onto the thing, spreads her legs to make room, and yanks him close once more. 

"Like this?"

"Yes," he breathes, or tries to, anyway, it's become rather hard to pull in air past the overwhelming everything threatening to drown him completely. 

Cyllene lets the moment linger, her eyes dragging over his face, staring into his own eyes before drifting lower to his lips. "I can see how this is more intimate..." she admits quietly. 

"Indeed," he agrees, though as he continues his thoughts fight his attempt to put them into proper words. "I've found that the uh- the i-intimacy...it, well, a-accentuates the experience greatly." 

She leans a bit closer. "Would it be alright if I once again asked for your-"

"Yes," he interrupts, no longer caring how desperate he might sound. "I'd be happy to help." 

"Thank you." 

He waits with bated breath for her to close the distance between them once more, but she pauses, her gaze drifting up past his eyes. Her hand follows, delicately sliding along his cheek, tracing the edge of his hat before pushing past it ever so slightly, the tips of her fingers just barely grazing his curls. "May I...?" 

"Of course." 

“Alright,” she replies, before reaching up with her other hand to gently pull the knitted cap off his head and set it aside. 

Laventon flushes, feeling strangely bare without it. Not that he wears it for modesty reasons, it’s simply because he's always been more sensitive to the cold than the average person, but given the situation, he feels exposed and vulnerable. The feeling eases, however, when Cyllene's hands return to his head, one traveling up to run through his hair, the other cupping his jaw, her thumb grazing his beard. 

He can't suppress a sigh at the sensation, and he leans into her touch, letting his eyes fall shut. 

"Do you enjoy this?" she asks. 

He nods slowly, not wanting to dislodge her hands or discourage her touch. "Most people do." 

"I see." 

She continues her exploration, and she pulls her hand away from his hair before sliding it back through, this time grazing his scalp with her nails before making a loose fist and pulling ever so slightly. Despite how gentle it is he can't stop the small, appreciative whimper from escaping his throat, or his face from flushing bright red as it does. Thankfully she doesn't ask him to elaborate this time, though she certainly takes note of it, and she uses her grip on his hair to tug him into another kiss. 

This one is instantly far more heated than the previous ones, neither of them even remotely interested in going slow. Her hands move, wrapping around his shoulders, though she can't help but return to his hair, sliding her fingers up the back of his neck before slowly tangling them in the short curls there. It nearly makes him moan, but he swallows it back, only briefly concerned about how well she's pressing his buttons. 

The worry passes, however, as she next tightens her thighs around him ever so slightly, the pressure emptying his mind and cracking enough of his resolve that he finally touches her, letting his trembling hands come to rest on her sides, just above her hips. Even with the layers of her uniform between them he can tell she's warm and soft here too, but as good as it is it's not nearly enough, not anymore, and he can't stop himself from letting his hands slide a bit higher and then around to settle against the small of her back before using the leverage it grants him to pull her even closer. 

She seems to like it, breaking their kiss for just a moment to let out a soft, gorgeous gasp. He gets a quick look at her as she does, and his heart all but stops at the sight. In all the years they've worked together he's never seen her this disheveled before, her hair messy, face flushed, chest heaving, and it's so beautiful he almost—almost—wants to stop kissing her just so he can drink it in uninterrupted.

But then she closes the distance once more and he decides looking isn’t enough, no he wants to see if he can make it worse. Find out what she likes, exactly where and how to hold her, touch her, kiss her, and then dedicate all of Almighty Dialga's time to doing it right, giving her everything she wants until she's a shaking, trembling mess in his arms-  

All at once Laventon feels a familiar heat in his gut and tightness in his pants, and what little sense he has left breaks through the haze, his face burning as he realizes his body is well ahead of him on this one. Embarrassed panic quickly starts to overtake his mind as he prays to any god that's listening that she won't notice. Sure, it is only natural that he would find all of this incredibly arousing, but that's not what this is supposed to be about. It's about helping her gain experience, not his own idiotic lust, and he loathes the idea of her discovering how little control he has over himself and becoming uncomfortable—or offended—because of it. 

So he pulls away, faster than he probably should, but still slow enough that he can play it off as natural. Regardless she chases after him, her eyes only opening when that proves unsuccessful, and heavens, the look on her face—not offended or uncomfortable but confused, disappointed—nearly makes him cave and pull her back in. 

"Do you understand n-now?" he asks instead, thankful his breathlessness hides how nervous he is. 

Cyllene looks lost, her eyes clouded as they search his, and it takes her a long moment to process that this encounter is ending and actually answer his question. 

"This was...enlightening," she says, her flush darkening as she becomes more and more aware of how intense the two of them let things get. "I have much to consider..." 

It isn't a yes, but somehow makes him feel as if he's done a better job. “Well, I’m glad I could...be of service,” he replies clumsily, unsure of what else to say.

Her blush only grows more intense, and rather than respond she glances away and slowly loosens her hold on his vest. 

Laventon decides to keep quiet as best he can, as he’d rather not make things any more awkward than they already are, and instead he steps back and offers his hand to help her hop down from her desk. She takes it with a polite nod, and his heart skips a beat at the feel of her hand in his, the gentle pressure of her weight against him as she slides to the ground intimate in its own way. When she’s standing she turns her focus to her outfit and hair, hastily fixing both until she looks mostly presentable. He doesn’t bother putting his hat back on, as he feels more than warm enough without it, and simply shoves it into the pocket of his coat. 

Besides, the cool night air should help with his...situation. Speaking of which, he begins to panic anew, and in a rush to maintain some semblance of dignity, he hastily shrugs his labcoat off entirely, draping it over his arm and holding it close so the bulk of it hides his lower body from view. 

Cyllene gives him an odd look, but before she can put the pieces together he jumps in, “I suppose I should leave you to your night.” 

“Yes...and I should leave you to yours,” she replies slowly. “Thank you for humoring me, Professor. I appreciate your assistance, and your patience.” 

“It was my pl- or, u-um, I’m glad to help, truly.” 

“I also would appreciate your discretion regarding this matter.” 

“Of course! That goes without saying.” 

“Good.” 

Silence falls between them, and while Laventon knows he needs to leave, his feet refuse to obey him, followed closely by his mind, now once again caught up in his new-found feelings regarding Cyllene, namely how beautiful she is and how much he desperately wishes he could stay in her company a bit longer. Not even for lustful reasons--though that desire certainly hasn’t let go of it’s hold on him--no, he finds himself wondering what it would be like if they were a couple, if he was here not for...whatever this all was, but so that he could escort her home, or perhaps to their home. He’s not sure he could ever be so lucky, but the thought fills him with longing all the same. 

“Professor?” Cyllene asks, snapping him back to reality. 

“Yes! Sorry, I uh- lost my train of thought there for a moment,” he replies quickly, shoving away his useless fantasies. “Well, do take care on your way home tonight, Captain.” 

“I shall, and you as well.” 

“Certainly. Goodnight then, Captain.” 

“Goodnight, Professor.” 

He gives something between a respectful nod and a half-bow before making a combee-line for his office door, already planning to clean up and head home as fast as humanly possible, but he freezes in place when Cyllene calls out, “Professor, wait...” 

Laventon turns to face her, grasping onto the last of his composure as best he can. “Yes?” 

She takes a moment before responding, her eyes drifting to the wall behind his head, like she can’t quite bring herself to look directly at him. “If, in the future, I should...wish to gain further experience in this area, would it be alright if I once again asked for your assistance?” 

He nearly faints right there, only barely stopping himself from falling over or making a complete fool of himself by offering to immediately provide any assistance she might desire—either here or perhaps somewhere more private. 

“Of course,” he replies honestly, praying he sounds coherent, or at least not like the lustful fool he apparently is deep down. “I would be happy to help.” 

“Thank you,” she nods, finally glancing back at him. “Well then, goodnight...for now.” 

Laventon hangs on her last two words and all they imply like a lifeline. “Goodnight.” 

Cyllene nods once more before turning back to her desk, her hands nimbly gathering the last of her paperwork, and he leaves her to it, quickly ducking into his own office to do the same. 

He lets out a breath once he’s within the safety of his personal space and tosses his coat and hat over onto his kotatsu, no longer needing the protection they offer, but as he starts to close the door something stops him. He isn’t sure what, exactly, his mind is far too muddled to make sense of what he’s feeling anymore, but it leaves him standing there all the same, his shaking hand lingering on the doorknob. Perhaps it’s habit—after all, he tends to leave it open during the day—or perhaps there’s a finality to it that he doesn’t want to evoke, or...or maybe he simply doesn’t want to be parted from Cyllene just yet, even if only by a single door. 

He shakes his head, dismissing his racing thoughts and prying his hand off the knob, leaving the door cracked ever so slightly. 

[He then heads home and like Idk something something a few days pass and then Cyllene drags Laventon into a closet and makes out with him because she gets it now or something???? I genuinely cannot remember where I was going with the ending.]

[moodymisty]

I know people make jokes like “I can fix him” on konrad x reader fics. But now that I think about it, the fics that you write have less of an “I can fix him” vibe and more of an “I can love him so much that it changes the course of his entire narrative” vibe. And by narrative I mean the bad- future prophesies that he’s running towards tunnel vision style. And to be honest, it’s not like it would be impossible to do that. The main reason for why he goes forward with creating the most negative future for himself is because of sunk cost fallacy, if he chooses a different path now then all of the torturing and maiming and murder was for nothing, then all of it was meaningless violence when there could’ve been a thousand ways to deal with those situations more kindly and peacefully. And in his eyes this would mean that he’s an irredeemable monster, so when faced with that possibility in canon I’m pretty sure that he has a mental breakdown (though don’t quote me on it).

So I feel like in a universe where he has someone who loves him theres a possibility for him to start questioning his logic. If he was wrong about the future you’d still stay with him, and that’s not how people treat an irredeemable monster, right? He’d be your beloved even if the cruelty was all for nothing, and I think that would really throw him for a loop. Because suddenly there’s less of that need to follow through with a grimdark future (though not fully, he’d need years to unlearn all of it) when he sees that not all is lost for him. Like hmm perhaps it’s better to admit that you were wrong and to do better next time instead of getting assassinated to (badly) prove your point that you never did anything wrong ever? Who knows??

Also I believe that he’d avoid futures where you get hurt/killed or even actively try to prevent them from happening. But that doesn’t have anything to do with what I was talking about before, this is just good old fashioned hypocrisy

It’s personal preference where I prefer the vibe of Konrad still being a nightmare, and that while he loves his beloved, he also drains them dry of any hope and love. He’s unfixable, but dammit do you try anyways even if it breaks your back.

And adversely Konrad when faced with someone who doesn’t inadvertently or on purpose fuel his martyr complex, completely crumbles into this wet excuse of a man who’s never actually felt any real love. Actually having someone there for him even if it’s after everything that’s happened to him would probably change his overall attitude a decent bit. He never saw you in his future, so maybe the future leaves some things out? Maybe every part of his life isn’t so set in stone? Or maybe you’re outside of his future, and accident, a change in his path.

He’d absolutely do anything to prevent your death. No matter how extreme the measure he would do it.

Now if your death is caused by him? … he has trouble processing that one without breaking down.

[soupsandwich64]

THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY AND THEIR LOVE LANGUAGES.

Forgive me for any mistakes of lore, names or character traits etc.. I am bad at remembering things.

Not proof read.

ALSO NOTE THAT THIS DOESN'T MEAN "THESE ARE THE ONLY LANGUAGES THAT WORK ON THEM" IT MEANS "THESE ARE THE ONES THAT WORK BEST OUT OF ALL OF THEM"

And theres things like least favorite, too.

--------------------------------------------------------

ROCKET RACCOON

RECEIVING -

(What is most effective towards him)

GIFT GIVING.

(Particularly prosthetic limbs)

QUALITY TIME.

Think like co-playing. Both in the same room doing different things. Sometimes talking

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

This one is probably pretty intense for him, so he only lets it actually sink in if it's a short sentiment from someone he truly cares about. Like, a friend being like "wow you're so cool!" Would definitely make him feel good, and probably inflate his ego/self esteem, but wouldn't really set in. But if like, Peter or Mantis etc. said something like "I appreciate everything you do for this team, we love you" that might actually hit hard. That's what I mean when I put words of affirmation here

---

GIVING

(What he would give you or others)

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

QUALITY TIME.

These two are his most standard forms of affection. He also gives them like he receives them. So, if someone he's friends with is a silent type, comfortable silence in the same room. If they're talkative, some light chatting is ok, and so on. Words of affirmation from him would most likely just be surface level stuff like "Good job" "You're not as dumb as I thought" "that's a neat trick" etc. sort of a friendly bullying. How people respond to that bullying tells him a lot about someone, usually. Just like with himself, if he's particularly close to someone, he may let out the occasional genuine praise without a layer of sarcasm.

LEAST FAVORITE

Physical touch.

Yeah, ouch, I know.

Not only is he smaller than everyone, which might make physical touch overwhelming, but he also has the situation on his back. But deep down, I think he's a bit touch starved (Everyone in the dang MCU is at this point) and secretly enjoys it. You just can't be heavy handed, and he really has to trust you. And too much too frequently may make him feel like a pet. So be careful.

(theres no way he would admit though, If asked about it he would simply say "Cause I don't want you gross sweaty skin bags all over me", referring to most peoples lack of fur)

-------------

PETER QUILL

(Theres like only 4 gifs of him. Why does my boy not deserve tasty gifs)

RECEIVING

-----------

With Peter it heavily depends on where you are in his timeline. The "golden age" Peter, where Gamora is alive and in love, and its good times for everyone, is probably not focused on relationships outside of the team (which might be part of his issues that were addressed in Vol 3.) The "everyone I love is dead" peter is in an extreme depressive state and obviously isn't going to be making new friends or even be responsive to his current friends (for the most part). The post Vol3 "Reconciled with my dad and stopped hopping on lily pads" Peter is new man! But also the same, being like a rebuilt version of himself. He would now, in my opinion, value every relationship he has. Every opportunity he has to be with other people becomes valuable, and everything he does is to honor the people who loved him when no one else did (Mama Quill, Yondu, Gamora etc.) and serve the people who love him now and kept loving him even through hard times. (Rocket, Mantis, Drax, Groot etc.).

With that said,

ACTS OF SERVICE

GIFT GIVING

I see Peter feeling loved more through actions and physical items because of what he's been through, making him crave things that are solid and real. Also Yondu was a lil trinket collector so that may turn up in Peter too. But, I also think Peter may feel a little guilty when receiving gifts. Very grateful, though.

I will also add

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

QUALITY TIME

Because even despite what I just said, I think a solid "You're so strong, I look up to you" every now then would make him giggle and kick his feet a little internally.

And listening to music together or sharing music is also particularly special

At the end of the day, he's just happy to be around loved ones.

GIVING

Just as you may be doing right now, he would probably try and figure out what the specific person likes. So his giving just depends on the person.

LEAST FAVORITE.

He doesn't really have one. He just wants to be loved.

--------

DRAX

(The destroyer (and protector))

Drax is probably receptive to most forms of affection, but it has to be obvious and clearcut.

Like, doing subtle things in the background might not get his attention, but hugging him directly and saying something like "I appreciate you as a person and for everything you do for the team" would be a lot better, and mean a lot more to him, even though its a very bold/blunt move. Theres probably a balance between blunt and subtle, but it would be pretty easy to strike. You also don't want to leave room for interpretation if you're afraid of him misinterpreting the difference between platonic and romantic affection. Its a slippery slope, but as long as you avoid using the word 'love' without platonic clarification too many times, you'll be good.

Also Drax does does not make friends in the traditional sense, he simply decides who is and who is not his friend. Whether they know about it or not. Not even in a way thats like cold and calculated or something, he just thinks it in his own head and decides it, expecting the others to simply Know.

With that said,

RECEIVING

PHYSICAL TOUCH.

I say this is probably both receiving and giving, but he's probably less likely to give and more open to receive. I feel like he would just kinda stand there the first few times someone hugged him, but if it became a routine thing, he would become more reciprocal. That might sound like he doesn't like physical touch, but I think its rather the fact that along with his other social skills, physical affection just turns out.. different.. for him. Like when he pet Rocket. I think he's a physical person, it just comes out weird. I want to hug him. If you touch his muscles too much he may get weirded out, or think you like him.

GIVING GIFTS

If you give him something he likes, like zarg-nuts, oh boy. He will DEFINITELY like you. Thats all to be said.

GIVING

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

Things like "You're ugly, but thats good because then you know who really loves you", y'know.

GIFT GIVING

Will offer you zarg-nuts. Thats a big deal.

LEAST FAVORITE

Probably Quality Time, but only if its boring. I think he actually sees things like fighting alongside the team as quality time, so it might just be different than how we would interpret quality time.

Again, he probably is just generally receptive to each language so you can't really go wrong, as long as you come across right.

-------------------

GAMORA (pre and post)

(There's also not a lot of gifs of her at all)

So, much like quill, she has three versions. During Thanos, Golden Age, and Multiverse. I'll do Golden Age and Multiverse because I don't think During Thanos is interesting, at least not for this specific post.

Also golden age and multiverse are technically two different people.

GOLDEN AGE GAMORA

Golden age Gamora is, in my opinion, a very deeply feeling woman. She can be stone cold when she needs to, but I feel like she is very emotionally intelligent especially as she gets closer with the team. She is also very loving, and is often 'the rock' of a friendship. Or just generally the level headed, down to earth one.

-----------------------

RECEIVING

QUALITY TIME

Definitely finds spending time together and talking valuable. Even listening to music together is special.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

As long as the words are honest and not trying to just flatter her or try and get in good with her, she appreciates it. Honest praise goes a long way. Too much too often may make her embarrassed.

GIVING

Since she *is* rather emotionally intelligent, I imagine she would figure out what that person is most receptive to, and display that. But if it's someone she likes, like Peter, she may get bashful and have a hard time acting natural with it and would probably revert to her own preferred language.

LEAST FAVORITE

GIFT GIVING.

I imagine her upbringing caused her to not be a materialistic person. That said, gifts can be extremely special to her, but its just rare. So giving her flowers doesn't do anything but like if Peter gave her a mixtape, thats different.

////

MULTIVERSE GAMORA

A more hot headed, less sensitive version of golden age. Meaning she's probably more standoffish and less emotionally intelligent, but not by a lot, just sort of by the trimmings and details of her personality. Being with the ravagers probably does that to most anyone. Golden age has more motherly vibes, while multiverse has more protective older sister vibes.

--------

RECEIVING

PHYSICAL TOUCH.

In the form of rough housing and play fighting with her ravager friends. Not exactly in a tender way, although I do see sort of the "let me patch you up" angst. One of the differences between the two is that multiverse is more afraid to be vulnerable.

GIFT GIVING

Surprisingly. I think the ravager life style may make her a little more appreciative of having her own things. I imagine theres a lot of competitiveness for special food and special items, even if its playful. Even though something unnecessary like flowers may not excite her, things like a newer, stronger weapon could mean a lot. Golden Age may not feel the exact same only because it's probably more accessible. But lets say if its something Rocket made her, then it would be inherently valuable because its from her friend. With multiverse, things gain inherent value when they're useful.

LEAST FAVORITE

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

She doesn't need you to tell her she's doing a good job, she already knows. Compliments are only effective from people she respects above peer-level, which is rare. Joking around with her friends (loving insults, etc) is different though.

---------------------

GROOT (multiple ages)

(I couldn't find gifs of young adult groot, only many of baby groot and a few of groot senior. Sad)

Baby Groot, Teen Groot, Young Adult Groot, Adult Groot, Groot Senior. So many choices. I'll do them ALL. (Except adult groot cause we just saw him for a few minutes so like- yknow)

GROOT SENIOR

Since Groot sr. was treated "more as animal" than a person, I imagine he doesn't have a concept of love language at all. Therefor, I will say that anything he perceives as loving, caring and protective action is his love language both giving and receiving. R.I.P. legend you will not be forgotten 🪽🕊️🕊️ 🙏 💯

The original baby boy. I'm still sad.

-----

BABY GROOT

He's a baby, so in theme for babies, attention, physical affection, and quality time are pretty much his main priorities. He ain't got much going on. Older baby groot, like toddler groot, is more active and perceptive, so I'd say his main receiving language is words of affirmation, and his main giving language is acts of service.

TEEN GROOT

Teen groot is broody and angsty, and he's definitely not thinking about other's feelings. So I'm gonna say while it's rare, when he does show affection, it's act of service. Receiving is pretty much anything, he doesn't really care right now.

At least not about the specifics.

-

YOUNG ADULT GROOT

Now, groot is much more loving and affectionate. He is receptive to all love languages, and gives them all too. Except, theres not much use in words of affirmation for him unless he really loves the person.

-----

MANTIS

RECEIVING

Anything. As long as she can clearly tell it's love/affection, it's effective. Like Peter, she just wants to be loved.

GIVING

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

Being able to verbally explain how she feels to someone, and how she may appreciate that person, is the most confident option for her. She thinks that it's pretty effective, and is the safest option. She probably also never got a lot of affection at all before the Guardians, but I think she appreciates mental and social affection more than physical.

LEAST FAVORITE

Doesn't have one.

------------

NEBULA

(Last one I'm doing this post then I'll do a few more in a second post)

RECEIVING

QUALITY TIME.

Like board games and stuff, or at least thats what I think she wants, deep down. I feel like maybe she doesn't realize this is one of her love languages. Like it's subconscious.

GIFT GIVING.

With her upbringing, she only had things taken away. Giving her something of importance may mean a lot to her. Like her new arm in Vol3. Again since shes still a little emotionally constipated, she may not really realize this.

GIVING.

She doesn't really understand how to sort of actively pursue a friendship or how to read someones love language, so her giving language is probably just existing in the same space as someone without criticizing them. Because she doesn't quite know how to do more than that, or at least isn't comfortable right now. But she wants to and deep down she's trying.

------------

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!!

I'll do like Adam Warlock and stuff next.

[bit-of-a-nerd]

What Mike’s Room Means About Byler

we’ve all talked and hear about mike’s rooms queercoding. people talk a lot about the posters, which have two things: fantasy and men. men is obvious queercoding when you look at other characters rooms. the lack of women is interesting when making the case that hes gay not bi. but theres something that people dont talk a lot about

mike and el have a very strong sci-fi coding. that makes sense, its a sci-fi show, and their biggest season together was the season based as an homage to classic 80’s sci-fi films. creators have made comparisons to et, her powers in s1 had a strong “alien” vibe from sci-fi, and imagery with things like star wars. 

however, byler has a strong fantasy coding. their first scene (both at all, but also their first one on one scene) had to do with dnd (fantasy game). this coding does go away for a bit in s2 when dnd takes a bit of a backseat (except for dustin coining the name of the mind flayer). but its back again in full force for s3. their major s3 fight (with TONS of queer mike coding and byler coding in general) was after the failed dnd game. will’s dnd game had some of the most pure fantasty vibes that we’ve seen of st dnd games.  the music he used, the costuming, the village all screamed medieval fantasy. 

not to mention dnd used to point towards mikes conformity. him leaving it in s3 is a sign of conformity, but him returning shows him starting to embrace himself. his costuming at rink o mania show’s thats not fully the case, pointing towards something else being the root of the conformity. then one of the (if not the) biggest byler scene, and the crux of what will be a major byler focused plot point, is will’s painting and the van scene. the painting? A FANTASY DND FIGHT! there’s a reason people love cleradin au’s and love the ship names cleradin and wiseheart. because dnd, and by extent fantasy, are woven into byler.

so keeping all that in mind, lets talk about rooms. rooms are usually a place for self expression. posters and things that express who you are and your interests. we've seen the duffers use rooms to express this in the past. but, they’ve also used rooms to show attraction. we dont see the second point much in mikes season 1 room, but we see the first. his room is a reflection of his nerdy interests and his friends mainly (also closet imagery!!!). but now that hes growing into a teenager it makes sense that we would begin to see the second part when we finally get his room again in s4. 

so: interests, we see his fantasy posters and his guitar. his fantasy posters line back up with his participation in hellfire. not TONS there, but some signals to him adopting eddies style due to some facsination/hero worship/crush(???) of the guy (an example being the guitar).

but attraction is where his room gets REALLY interesting. he has MULTIPLE posters of shirtless men. his one way sign to the closet. does more need to be said? it does. because attraction to men and being closeted, doesn’t mean much for being in relationships. (again bi people do exist!! he could be closeted and still in love with his gf)

In this scene he’s reading a letter from his girlfriend, in their ‘perfect’ relationship, their sci-fi coded relationship. so, even with the attraction to men coded, maybe the duffers didnt see the need to recode his female attraction, they just added coding of his relationship into his room, right? he might just not be the guy to have a shrine to his partner, he might just be more subtle?

except all the posters are more fantasy leaning. which is a different genre from scifi. his room does not point towards his relationship with el. but we fantasy is the coding behind his and will’s relationship. the same relationship that in their time apart he’s somehow managed to start acting weirder around his best friend, and feel the need to assert that they. are. just. friends. the same friend who just got confirmed in love with mike, and is now a love interest. 

I know theres been a lot of talk about mikes room but people haven’t really talked about the fantasy aspect, or bylers fantasy coding and mlvns sci-fi coding. I think it’s a lot more important than people are giving it credit for. 

[corvidares]

okay, so i just finished re-reading Any Way the Wind Blows and this feels so blatant as to be smacking me in the face: simon is disabled.

now, the reason why that makes itself even clearer in this book than in wayward son (where he, of course, also has the wings + tail) is because simon is once again in the world of mages - despite doing his best to leave it behind. compared to wayward son, where hes basically and literally in the wild west. where theres magical beings everywhere, where simon practically fits in because he is one.

but ill get back to that.

ive seen a lot of really interesting points about what simon's wings represent and mean, and i'm not disagreeing with those. but in a very literal sense, they are a disability.

think about it like this: the world of mages (and Normals) is not built for humanoids who have giant webbed wings and a tail. simon constantly struggles with controlling these limbs, and their size makes it ten times harder. spaces are too small, furniture and objects are broken when he spreads them, and many a shirt or jacket are ruined.

he struggles to find a good way to deal with this - spell them away? wear them out by cutting holes in things? fold them extremely painfully into his shirt? even though this last one is treated like a solution for a little while, its far from ideal. who is simon doing this for? himself, or everyone around him? yes, of course Normals cant see them. and yeah, hes expressed discomfort about baz and penny spelling them hidden. but thats not the point. even with this botch job of a way to "wear" his wings, which succeeds at hiding them from Normals, simon still states a couple times that he knows people stare at him and his seeming hunchback. i mean, thats blatant.

(he eventually, with shepard's help, realizes a good way to work around this - zippers or buckles on shirtbacks - which very much feels like an aha! disability aid moment)

im not saying disability is based in how people look at you, or it only being a societal thing. (as in, when he wasnt in the world of mages, he wasnt suddenly 'not disabled at all') disability is a huge spectrum. but those things absolutely can be a part of the disabled experience.

but all of that doesnt even get to my main point: simon has no magic anymore. and in the world of mages, thats a huge deal. magic is like living and breathing, especially for baz and penny. its not something they question or have to worry about not being able to call upon. hell, even before simon lost his magic he was disabled, just to a different extent.

before awtwb, we dont hear much about mages whose magic is weak. but they come to the forefront now - which just solidifies that solid magical ability = able bodiedness.

smith is promising a miracle cure. a cure. think of it like bullshit orgs such as aut!sm spe@ks, wanting to "cure" autism - he wants to cure people. (and hes just as full of shit) why? because weak magic is seen as a disease, a problem, even subhuman.

take daphne, baz's stepmom. her quality of life is fine, great. her weaker magic doesnt seem to put her at a disadvantage. she manages her disability well. but in comparison to the norm, to what is expected of the average mage, shes got nothing. less than nothing. she feels shame over what she cant do.

smith's case becomes even more blatant when we see, at the end of awtwb, that he wants to essentially cull weak magicians. that they're holding back society. that theyre better off as powerless as Normals - who are blatantly seen as subhuman - than as weak mages. much like how ableist rhetoric puts forward that disability is a fate worse than death.

which brings us back to simon. he insists hes a Normal, now or always has been. baz insists hes the most powerful magician to exist. both of them are wrong.

and right. and right and wrong.

simon is some third thing - not a mage, not a Normal. akin to how disability is its own minority aside from race or ethnicity he has a foot in each world, and he always has. but now he cant achieve blending into either.

this is why the increasing presence and humanization of other magical beings beside mages is so important (thank you shephard!) how mages tend to seem magical beings is very ableist. theyre subhuman, theyre not to be trusted, theyre freaks, theyre dirty, etc. except oops, how can you keep thinking that penny, when this very nice one works at a cafe and helped you translate shephard's engagement terms?

even baz and the events of wayward son play into this - yeah, some vampires are horrible people. but plenty, like baz, are just people. with a range of experiences and morals and ways of living life. (take nicodemus) (i could make a point about how simon's stalwart acceptance of baz's vampirism helps baz comes to terms with it and how this is also super disability coded, but thats another essay)

in the beginning of awtwb, he decides to go to the extreme opposite of his chosen one powered life - to live as a Normal, and the second step (after cutting himself off from baz and penny) is getting his wings removed.

except he cant do it. and even having his wings touched is horribly uncomfortable. now, this partly has to do with how much theyre sensual parts of his body - same as his tail. but its also, separately, very intimate. theyre treated very clinically, like a fascinating specimen to pore over. im not trying to give niamh shit here, just saying what i saw.

but theyre part of him. people with disabilities often deal with being stared at and poked and prodded by the medical field (if theyre not ignored or waved off. maybe both.). even every day folks feel the right to touch disabled folks, or their mobility aids.

for a lot of people, mobility aids are a part of them - its like a stranger touching your face and thinking theyre doing you a favor. when instead theyre being weird as fuck.

simon's status as previous chosen one even plays into this sort of thing - people see him more as a figurehead, for what he can and cant do (including his wings!) than a person. hes a tragedy, hes a hero. hes inspirational, hes to be pitied. sound familiar?

the end of awtwb doesnt spell out whether simon ends up deciding to keep his wings (frustratingly). but they spell out that he would absolutely would, in my opinion.

simon increasingly treats them as a natural extension of his body. think of the scene where he flies about the watford goats. how he expresses his feelings with his wings and tail. and of course, how he learns to let baz loves each and every part of him: including his dragon limbs.

baz loves him, and loves them, not in a fetishistic way, but because its simon, and he loves everything simon is. not just what he represents or can or cant do.

[tomboyyyaoi]

Vashwood thematically feels like two starts orbiting each other very closely, while Vashmeryl is like a planet naturally orbiting a start or large force of mass. Like they both are about two people revolving around each

i see u and if u dont mind me pulling off this to make it much more essay-ish than it needs to be,

for me it feels like vash has 2 sides to his character and both wolfwood n meryl are there to understand each of those sides

wolfwood relates to and resonates w his more "monstrous" side, theyve both seen hell and come out with completely different views but despite that they still are probably the only two who really Get eachother for that, just feeling too big for your skin and that theyr only deserving of loneliness, but they find eachother and they click because they fit more in with the monstrous, evil, barely human people of nomans land who want to see it burn and theyr always pulling themselves from comfort and happiness because they feel they dont deserve it and they need to atone for the people who Made them, but they find it in eachother whether they mean to or not until the very end. they even became so enamoured with eachother that when wolfwood died, in a sense, he joins rem in vash's head as someone to fight for and someone who shapes his reasoning, he only kills legato to save livio because wolfwood died for livio, just like how rem died to save everyone so then anyone dying would be a waste of her death

for meryl she sees herself in the more human side of vash, despite all hes been through he still smiles like its nothing and she knows damn well thats not normal and hes hiding his pain because hes still a person. when vash kills legato he breaks down completely she holds his head in her lap and thinks about how she did the same when she first killed someone because its such a human reaction, something the people of nomans land seem to have forgotten. theyr horribly terrified to get close to eachother because she knows hes not human, she knows what hes capable of and shes absolutely got issues herself with being emotionally closed off and for vash we know he punishes himself by not allowing himself simple comforts as well as the fact he knows hes a danger to those around him but theres still a person in there and meryl sees it and vash knows she does and is so relieved that Someone does but theyr both too traumatised to get close but by the end of the manga we start to see them perhaps warming up to the idea of being closer

you can even expand further on this with wolfwood's status as a victim of the narritive by watching how all the gungho guns are picked off one by one (besides livio) including knives and wolfwood because thats vash's whole reason for not just giving up and living a quiet human life as eriks, wolfwood (and knives, and the rest of the gungho huns) dying can be read as vash losing his need to be a monster, and while it pains him to see his partner and brother die its like that inhuman part of him - or the need to use it - dying too, which can also be seen in his hair turning black, and whos still there by the end when his hairs fully black and theres no threat forcing him to be a monstrous angelic saviour to the world? meryl - his humanity. we dont really see much of him living as human (such as allowing himself to grieve, recover, love, eat, sleep, form bonds, laugh, smile, be happy) before the series ends but i love that it lets us fill in the blanks

anyway uhh TL;DR wolfwood brings understanding and comfort in vash's inhumanity and meryl reminds him of and encourages his humanity

[suffarustuffaru]

I think if Reinhard has a lover, he's a 'Christmas flag' guy to them? (being a red and green flag at the same time)

HAH the way you described that as "christmas flag" is so funny..... and yeah yeah reinhard would be that yeah. imo though like - i feel like everyone is gonna have red and green flags - and uh, ive heard the term beige flag lately too? HAH so like beige flags... as in like neutral stuff that is probablyyy neither good nor bad, it just depends.... at least that was my understanding of it lmao but yeah imo i think everyone is gonna have red and green flags it just. Depends. on how bad those red flags are gonna be bc either theyre blaring red alarms or oh that is like a normal flaw that you could try to work on. if that makes sense??

anyway reinhards perceived red and green flags i feel like would be different according to whoever is interested in him romantically HAH..... but like. given its reinhard the red flags are probably gonna range from reinhard having a habit of sounding or being a little insensitive... hes also oblivious a lot.... doesnt personally defend himself all that much.... may cross boundaries if he thinks is best.... but you know those are all things that he could work on and he genuinely has a lot of love and well intent in his heart so i think he would try his best for anyone he'd be romantically involved with!!

but also then theres the blaring red flag that im sure the vast majority of people in rezero would have for reinhard which is the part where PEOPLE THINK HES A MONSTER BC OF HIS POWERS WHICH T^T i mean. i kinda cant blame them (like dude can do some FREAKY shit fr) but im also terribly terribly sad about that. :<<<< poor reinhard :<<<<<< like can you imagine youre the person whos supposed to make the next sword saint with reinhard and he gets his dp of being good at sex and you realize with horror that this guy will just get new powers all the time or something. he cant do Anything without being forced to be Borderline God-like at Everything. ........ok well that and the specific horror of "does reinhard even want romance. does he even want sex. does he want kids. the kingdom will make him have a kid anyway. my god."

anyway :(( i hope reinhard gets his happy ending eventually (no powers) (he is Normal) (and his family is happy again :<< )