#med and vet med especially need this

[mersuperwholockabuff]

i work in a vet office. i don't get paid very much but i'm not in it for the pay. however.

i didn't get a raise last fall for my annual because my company got bought out and corporate only do raises in feb.

ok. at least i'll get it in the spring.

then corporate said they couldn't afford to give everyone raises

bullshit. you can buy out places but you can't afford 3% living wage??

then CEO sends out a message company-wide promising everyone that he has made it so we will get our 3% this year. making cuts elsewhere.

the bull is strong. cuts are prob his bonus tho. idc as long as we get the minimum.

THEN. corporate decided to only give a raise based on 'hire date'. aka when they took over. aka in the fall. aka the raise is now <1% instead of 3% for my company

ok. bull. but this is corporate bull. corporate do this legal bull all the time. can't win against corporate.

the management that i have grown to trust/respect sat me down and said so sorry, we know how hard you work and that you were counting on this raise but we didn't even know corporate was going to do this. we did everything we could, but you get the <1%. sorry.

ok. at least everyone got the prorated bull and it was based on hire date on not on merit/work ethic/performance. and i know my management did everything they could.

oh. no no no no.

turns out the management that i have grown to trust/respect lied to me.

my subordinate. who has marks/complaint. who shows up well enough but does not go above/beyond. who does the minimum and that is it (and that is okay). got a 4% raise.

WHAT?!

the management that i have grown to trust/respect told her that they managed to convince corporate to give actual raises to the people they were worried would quit if they didn't get one. and not to tell anyone.

excuse me.

don't get me wrong. that girl deserves a damn raise. but explain this fucking math to me.

she gets a 3/5 on performance reviews. is difficult with her hours. and only has one role in the hospital. no degrees or certifications. she now makes $18/hr

i get a 4.5/5 on my performance reviews, have literally 0 tardies or absences, have been in management at this place for 2.5+ years, hold more than one role and am cross trained everywhere, have a close relationship with management (a good one), have literally moved mountains to accommodate business needs, and have 3 degrees and multiple certifications. I now make $18.63

AND YOU TELL ME YOU DID EVERYTHING YOU COULD?!?!

you. my trusted management. got someone MORE THAN 3%?!?! and you didn't even SPLIT IT UP. and then lied to me about everyone getting the same 1%. to my face. as i cried in your office about my financial concerns over my possible cancer diagnosis. you. who said sorry to my face followed by 'i love you'.

I AM MANAGEMENT. I have been for a long time before this hospital too. I get having to make tough choices. but i am on your team. if you had just told me what was up or that some people were getting uneven numbers it would not be okay but it would have been better than you LYING. the disrespect is insane.

as management you should never ask a staff member to keep something a secret. that's how you know you are doing something morally wrong. if you can't stand at a staff meeting and explain yourself, you are wrong. also, THEY WON"T KEEP IT.

surprise bitches. you thought i wouldn't quit if i didn't get a raise? you thought you could take advantage of me again and again and again? you thought wrong. i'm out. and i'm not the only one.

I KNOW MY WORTH and it is more than this.

[thestarrynightslover]

Whatever Comes

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 2,147

Warnings: A lot of angst. Mentions of blood, life-threatening injuries, hit-and-run, fracture wounds, and miscarriage.

Summary: Doctor (y/n) (y/l/n) and Jay Halstead are secretly dating when there is a terrible accident involving (y/n) and a lot comes to light.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way, or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: Okay, so this is my first fic in a long while and I don't think it's all that good but I had to restart somewhere, so I hope you like it anyway!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

You had just gotten out of your car across the street from the side of Med and, as you were making your way through the bit of road that led to the hospital, a car comes into the driveway — screeching tires, in full speed — and runs you over long before you could even see anything and, there, in the matter of a few seconds, everything goes black and you’re left bleeding out in the street.

Almost an hour later, after you had regained consciousness and had begun dragging yourself, very slowly, towards the hospital, Will and Ethan, about to go inside Med, spot you and run your way eager to help you out — even if they hadn’t known it was you at first.

“Oh man, it’s Dr. (y/n) (y/l/n)!” Ethan exclaimed.

“(y/n), can you hear me?!?” You sort of heard Will ask through your dizziness haze.

“Wow, you’re actually shorter this up close than I had imagined at first.” You attempted a joke with your friend, momentarily gaining some clarity.

Ignoring you, Will just asked no one specifically, “oh Lord, how long has she been bleeding out here?”

Decisive as always, you heard as Dr. Choi commanded, “I don’t know but, come on, Will, let’s carry her to the ED!”

As soon as your friends get inside the hospital with you, everybody stays in shock for a moment until Maggie yells: "get her in treatment 4, now!"

Following her lead, Will and Ethan get started on treating you, who has a few broken ribs, and free fluid in your belly besides from a punctured spleen. Having done their best in the ED, they decide to send your upstairs for surgery with Crocket.

Once you're going to surgery, Miss Goodwin tells Maggie and the doctors to call PD and specifically ask for Intelligence, since you were friends with the unit. As the cops get there, one stands out: Jay Halstead. He's frantic, devastated-looking, just completely lost, and desperate to hear more news about your condition. No one really understands why he is reacting like that, but all of them do share the fear of losing a great friend. Voight's giving out assignments to the team, so Jay knows that that's when he needs to speak up.

"Um, sarge?" All eyes are on him. "If you and the team don't mind running one man short today... I was hoping that I could, um, stay here with- with her?" Hank just stares at him, unlike everyone else — who are shocked — the older man's focus is on his detective's eyes, on the way he was so distraught from the moment they got the call about (y/l/n). That was the behavior, the look, of a terrified man. And, as everyone there knew, Jay Halstead — the freaking war vet — wasn't one to get scared easily. "(y/n) and I-"

"It's fine. No need to explain. You should stay here, Jay. Let us know, in case anything changes. And we'll catch the son of a bitch." He said firmly, making Jay feel as appreciative as ever, and, also, sending an implicit message to all the other members of the unit, one that said: we work this with all we got right now, for (y/n), and for Jay, no questions asked.

After the officers left the hospital, there was still a big commotion from everyone who stayed, because it was one of their own up there in the or. But, surpassing everyone else's, was Will's surprise by how distraught Jay looked, especially considering how his little brother wanted to stay at the hospital, instead of going to find who hurt you. So he comes to confront the detective about it. "So... You and (y/n) are a thing?" Will asked, trying to understand. Since Jay just nodded his head, he decided to push a little further: "And... Were you ever planning to tell me? What the hell, man?"

"Will, I-"

"She's one of my best friends, Jay! Not to mention the fact that I'm the doctor who oversees her work here!"

"Will you put it down?" Jay pleaded with his brother, motioning him to a more reserved corner of the waiting room. "I know, okay? I know. And I'm sorry if it upsets you, man, I really am. But this could've blown her career. That's why we hadn't told you yet." It was clear that Will didn't exactly like his brother's explanation, but he knew it was true.

"Just... How long?"

"Um, about six months?"

"Six months?!" The doctor yelled in shock, then repeated it in a lower tone. "But, six months?"

"Yeah, I know it's a lot of time keeping you in the dark, Will. But, trust me, we weren't thrilled about it. And we were hoping to tell you soon. I swear." Jay said, and his brother could, once again, see it was the truth.

"So, that means that when you started seeing each other she was still finishing med school?"

"Yeah, that's right. Which was, like, the main reason for us to keep it under wraps. An intern dating the attending doctor's little brother? Wouldn't look good."

"That's true..." At that point, Will took another look at his brother. Jay looked so worried and scared, even while trying to hide it. "So, uh, you guys are serious?" That question got a little smile out of the detective.

"Yes, we are. I know that it is new for you... But, I love her, Will. I really do." He took a moment to breathe, not being able to hold back some tears this time. “And, I can’t lose her. I just can’t.”

“Jay…” Will started saying but didn’t quite know how to continue. What could he possibly say to comfort his brother right now? “We just… We just gotta stay hopeful, okay? (y/n) is a really tough person and Dr. Marcel is a great surgeon, you know it. She is gonna pull through.”

A lot of disquieting hours later Crocket finally comes out of the surgery, just to be met by a very worried hospital staff and an on-edge Jay Halstead.

"Where is sh- How is she? Is (y/n) okay? Can I see her?" The detective hovers, not even taking a breath.

"Wow! Uh, you gotta calm down a little, buddy."

"Don't give me that crap! Just- just tell me how she is!" Jay shouts again, not giving a damn about what anyone was thinking. You were the only thing on his mind right now.

"Alright. But try to keep breathing, okay?" To that, the other man didn't even bother to answer. "Okay, um, it was a very complicated surgery, I had to do a lot of cleaning and moving around to get to the worst parts and-"

"Can you please just cut to the part where you tell me if she's okay? No offense, but you can fill me in on the details later." Jay stated nervously. It wasn't just that he wanted to know what was the result of all those hours in the or, but, also, because Jay knew he wouldn't understand half of what Connor was saying, even with the simplified language. You would. But not him.

"Right. Okay. She's, um, she's okay for now. We'll need to monitor her on an hourly basis, though." By that point, the surgeon could already see the relief on both Halsteads' faces, so he went on. "We controlled the bleeding, but, with all the blood loss," he stopped to take another look at the detective, "I'm afraid," another pause, because, sure he had delivered this kind of news before, but this time it was a lot harder, because those people were his friends. And, what they had just lost, he had just lost too, in a way, "we couldn't save the baby."

"The baby?" This time he got an answer from both brothers.

"Uh, uh... You, uh, you didn't know she was pregnant?" Crocket asked, kind of already guessing the answer while sharing a look with Will.

"Oh my God..." It was all the youngest Halstead managed to let out. Seeing how his brother was unable to react any further, Will decided to step up and ask the tough questions.

"So, um,  if everything goes well from now on, you think that (y/n/n) will make a full recovery?"

"Ahhh, yes, actually. She was in great health, so, after making it through, uh, through the night, she shouldn't have any major issues." At that point, Marcel himself was trying to be as objective and as doctorish as possible, in order not to make things worse for the man who had just heard that he lost a child he didn't even have a chance to wait for.

"So, is it, um- is it possible that she didn't know about the pregnancy yet?" But, damn it, Will just kept asking all the impossible questions.

"Uh... It is, actually. Very possible." Hearing that, the detective immediately glued his eyes on him. "We estimate that the fetus was about seven weeks. It's very common that women on birth control haven't found out about it at that point." As neither Halstead said anything, Marcel continued, "well, she's up in the ICU now and in and out of consciousness but, if you want, you can see her for a few minutes."

Hearing that, the detective came out of his haze and said: "Yeah, I wanna see her!"

A few hours later, as Will Halstead gathered his things after finishing his shift, he decided to go check on you but got surprised when he realized that his brother was still there, in the waiting room. "Jay, what are you still doing here?"

"I'm waiting," he said simply.

"Jay." Will called again, "you can't do this, you need to go home, get some sleep, eat…"

"I'm not leaving her alone."

"She's not gonna be alone, Jay." Not getting any response, Will decided to lead with something else. "You know, Voight called Goodwin and said that they're hitting a lot of walls in the (y/l/n) investigation…" Measuring his brother's reaction, Will continued: "Maybe they'd have better luck working with the whole team…"

"Yeah, you're probably right. Tomorrow I'll tell Voight that I want in on the investigation." Jay said, not making any sign of wanting to leave.

"Jay, you can't work tomorrow after staying here the whole night!" Seeing his little brother still not intending to leave, he threatened, "if you don't go home right now, I'll call Voight myself and tell him that you're in no shape to work-"

"Oh, c'mon! You're gonna do that!"

"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you," Will said, looking as serious as they get. "Look, Jay, you know she's in good hands here. And, whatever happens, you'll be the first to know, I've made sure of it."

"But-"

"But nothing, Jay! It's time to go, come on!" Will pressed so much that Jay resigned himself to do as his brother told him.

For almost a week, you stayed in the ICU. For almost a week, Jay Halstead passed by Med on his way to work and on his way home from work.

Once you were moved to a room, Jay started feeling like he could finally breathe again, even though there was now the baby that someone had still to tell you. And, after chatting with Will and Crockett, Jay had already decided he was gonna be the one to deliver the news to you. So, one day, after Intelligence had already caught the drug dealers that were running away when they hit you, Jay asked Voight for the afternoon off to take you home from the hospital.

When you were at your place, you asked Jay what was going on: "Hey, you didn't say a word on the way here, is anything besides the fact that I just spent almost two weeks in the hospital and that everyone found out about us wrong?"

"Let's sit down for a minute, babe."

The minute he said that, you knew there was something really wrong.

"Okay, you're scaring me…" You said while sitting down on the couch.

"I just- I have something important to tell you," and, like that, Jay proceeded to tell you the worst thing you ever heard. It's not like you'd been planning on becoming a mother or anything like that anytime soon but it was still a possibility that was brutally taken away… You and Jay cried together for the first time and, consoling each other, you felt your relationship growing stronger. 

So much so that after some time you could start talking about the future that both of you foresaw with one another and, even though nothing was completely decided, there was one thing you knew for sure: as long as you were together, you could face anything.

[loveandleases]

Since I am sick and bedridden 😔👎

How do the Ros take care of a sick Mc? Who doesn't care if they sick and cuddles and kisses either way?

Hope you're feeling better now! (especially with how long this took to go through queue.)

❤️ Cam- Doesn't care if he gets sick, he will be using himself as MC's personal blanket. All the cuddles and kisses, he will buy anything he thinks will make MC feel better. Even if MC just has a slight tickle in their throat, Cam will make them take it easy until its gone. But be warned, when Cam catches the same thing, he's going to be so whiny. Practically acting like he's on his death bed. Mc won't be able to leave his sight because Cam will just start pouting, and talking about how MC doesn't want to be around his icky sicky self.

💙 G- Mother hen all the way. G will be so cautious, they will use all their knowledge from being a vet. Temperature will constantly be monitored. G will wear a face mask because they don't want to catch the same thing. But when MC appears to be asleep G will give them a soft kiss on the forehead, and even hold their hand while they rest.

💚 Kara- She's not good with being sick, or others being sick. She will try her best, but that might just be ordering some teas and meds to be delivered and cuddling up under blankets. She doesn't get sick often so she's not exactly sure how to truly help in the situation. But she will try her best! Maybe cookies will help.

💛 M- With two mothers who love them immensely, M knows what its like to be sick and not be left alone. They won't go to that extreme, but they will make sure MC is comfortable. If MC needs them to be near in order to feel better, M will be there. Though sorry if they think this is also a time for them to research what to do when one's partner is sick.

💜 Isaac- A bit detached, they don't like to be close to someone so for them when sick they will wish MC well, will even deliver stuff and pretend that they got an order wrong. That's their way of helping. Isaac early on won't be tending to MC like Isaac whose in a relationship with MC. They will still pretend that what is going on isn't serious. But they will care, just in secret.

🖤 Ardent- He's unsure of what to really do..he knows what his niece likes when she's sick though he imagines MC doesn't want to be watching kid shows. Maybe some chicken noodle soup, a warm bath, head pats? Ardent will go into it thinking its the same, but when MC wants to cling to him and get kisses, he will weigh the pros and cons. No kisses until you're better, and only a few cuddles. Unless you're shivering...and he's asleep, alright scratch that cuddles now just don't remind him he practically clung to you when you were sick.(here's hoping mc doesn't get him sick though, he will be unbearable.)

[cerise-on-top]

hellooooo! can you write on how you think Laswell and Valeria would react to their wife’s randomly bringing home a small kitten she found on the side of the road/in a ally? Also I hope you are feeling better lovely!

Hello! In all honesty, I'm not doing too great right now, I should really be resting up, but I can't because of work! Oh well, it happens!

Valeria and Laswell’s S/O Bringing Home a Kitten

Valeria: She would not care for the little thing in the slightest, in all honesty. Valeria knows that she’s absent very often, so she can’t exactly blame you for wanting a small animal companion to keep you company. Besides, she’d rather have it be a small animal than some other person. Still, she’s not the biggest fan of animals. While she may not hate them, she simply doesn’t care about them, regardless of what they are or how cute they may be to anyone else. You can keep your little kitten, she doesn’t care too much about it as long as she gets you to herself when she is at home. However, if the cat gets more of your attention than she does, that’s when she’s starting to get a little bit jealous. If you’re not looking, she’ll shoo the little critter away, hoping it’ll get the message and leave you and her alone. That’s when she’ll come to dislike your kitten a little bit. However, if you bug her enough about it, she might begrudgingly apologize to it, but only when you’re around. She won’t be outright mean to it, but she will put it away from your lap and place it somewhere else if she thinks you’re paying too much attention to it. The little critter can meow all it wants, it’s not getting any extra treats from her. Valeria will only feed it when you don’t have the time to do so, and even then it’s on thin ice. Although she usually prides herself on being a competent and confident woman, it’s so evident that Valeria’s as jealous as it gets, and of a cat as well. You can tease her about it too, she won’t really do anything about it because she can’t. She loves you and doesn’t wanna hurt you, which includes not hurting your stinky furball. It’s obvious it makes you happy, and that’s what she wants to see in this otherwise rotten world.

Laswell: Although she isn’t the biggest animal lover, she can appreciate a cute animal when she sees one, but wasn’t sure she heard you correctly when you claimed to have rescued that kitten from an alley. Laswell knows that cats are independent enough when they’re older, at the very least, but you can’t really leave a kitten all alone for now. Besides, what if it’s got some sort of disease? As long as you take good care of it, Laswell won’t mind having a kitten be brought home, but she won’t have too much time to take care of it either, so you’re gonna have to be committed to taking care of it. She may not be a fan of having a cat around at home at first, but she grows fond of it anyway. Think of all the “My dad and the cat he didn’t want at first” memes, that’s literally her. Either way, she does think you have a heart of gold for wanting to rescue a small and defenseless animal that had nowhere to go. However, don’t make it a habit to continuously rescue animals, she doesn’t have the time or space for all of them, so please just keep it to one, maybe two, at most. Laswell, when she can, will feed the kitten and play with it. Sometimes you might even catch her sleeping with it. Especially when the kitten is more mature and has calmed down from all the playing frenzy, that’s when Laswell might hug it more often and sometimes even take naps with it. Will help you out whenever you need anything from her. Your cat needs to go to the vet? It needs some more food? The last few toys you got for it are broken and or torn? Don’t worry, Laswell’s got you covered. She’s got enough money to make your cat’s life very luxurious, as luxurious as it gets, even. The food will be of the highest quality, it will get all the meds it could possibly need, if it needs them, and the toys will always be provided for. The little kitten probably couldn’t have asked for better owners, in all honesty.

[mrchiipchrome]

Hi prompt 32 with Fridolina Rolfo please if you are still taking prompts

prompt 32. -It’s you and me, always forever.

If you want to request, there's a prompt list linked in my masterlist.

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“KANELBULLENS DAG PEOPLE, NATIONAL HOLIDAY! You get a cinnamon bun, and you get a cinnamon bun, and the biggest one is for you my love.” You enter the Barcelona locker room hollering in Swedish, a large paper bag in your hand. 

Handing each woman in the room a cinnamon bun, they each quietly thank you, some pressing small (or in Pina and Patri’s case, really sloppy) kisses to your cheeks. The steam floating off the baked goods gives the women an indication of their freshness.

Placing the last and biggest one in your girlfriend's hand, you can’t help but watch as her entire face lights up. 

You had both been missing your native country a little extra lately, and celebrating the holidays that were so important to the swedes always reminded you of home. 

It was especially fun to see the confused expressions on your teammates' faces whenever you burst into the room with traditional clothes on or different types of homemade sweets in your hands.

“Not that I’m not appreciative of this, but why did you get us cinnamon buns?” Lucy asked you, face full of joy and simultaneous confusion. 

“Ohh, in Sweden there’s a holiday called kanelbullens dag where we just eat cinnamon buns. The day actually originates from this company who in celebrating their 40th anniversary made a day solely for cinnamon buns.” You tell the team in between bites of your own cinnamon bun.

“So, you just have a day for eating cinnamon buns?” Mapi asks, still confused about the whole thing.

“Yeah pretty much” You reply, the crunching of the sugar pearls filling the room. As you look around the room, you see everyone eating their cinnamon rolls happily and you can’t help but be filled with joy.

The joy that the cinnamon filled bread always brought to everyone back home extended out to the locker room and you couldn’t help but smile. Smile at the childish expressions filled with satisfaction and genuine happiness.

You get pulled back into reality by your girlfriend placing her legs across yours, the woman sending you a smile sweeter than the treat you’d just finished.

“Tack älskling, det var verkligen fint av dig att göra det här.” Frido tells you, the beautiful smile lighting up her face in that delightfully unique way. Leaning your face closer to hers, you bring your thumb up to the corner of her mouth, wiping away the little cinnamon that rested there.

You lick the sugary sweetness off your thumb before telling her,

“Du vet att jag älskar dig, visst gör du? Det klart jag kommer göra saker för att göra dig glad.” You tell her softly, only so that she can hear you. The others didn’t need to know, they’d only tease you for being whipped.

“Jag älskar dig med” She confesses, planting a loving kiss on your forehead before getting ready to walk out of the room. 

You catch her hand in yours before she can move too far away from you. Pouting your lips, the blonde quickly gets the hint and gives you a passionate kiss, on your lips this time.

After she pulls away, you keep her near to press a few more pecks to her lips.

“Baby, it’s you and me, always forever. I’m yours until the end of time, it’s my only mission to make you smile.” You whisper against her lips, the blonde’s cheeks darkening several shades.

You would run across the universe and back if it meant you could get your girlfriend to smile just that much more.

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Translations:

Tack älskling, det var verkligen fint av dig att göra det här. - Thank you darling, it was truly sweet of you to do this.

Du vet att jag älskar dig, visst gör du? Det klart jag kommer göra saker för att göra dig glad. - You know that I love you, right? Of course I’m going to do things to make you happy.

Jag älskar dig med - I love you too

[pinayelf]

Palestinian fundraisers to donate to

A compilation of people who have recently reached out to share their gofundmes. Please share.

I donated $5USD to each fundraiser and I encourage anyone who sees this to match my donation.

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@falestine-yousef - Help Falestine and her family escape Gaza, especially as her parents are ill and don't have access to meds. They have $3,524/$40,000

vetted here

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@free-gaza2 Doaa is a fashion designer from Gaza who makes beautiful clothing and bags, and her workshop was destroyed in the genocide. She escaped to Egypt with her child, but left her husband behind. She hopes to start her business again in Egypt in order to help her family. The funds will go to helping her purchase a sewing machine to start her business. She has made $1,759/$2000

vetted here

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@wafaaresh - Wafaa and her family need help evacuating Gaza. The funds will also go to medical treatments needed by her family. She has made 6,917/10,000 euros

vetted here

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@mahmoud1995 - Mahmoud and his family need help evacuating Gaza. The funds will help 5 people evacuate to Egypt. So far he has made $3,961/$50,000

vetted here

[lailoken]

I really hate doing this, but earlier today, my puppy Rowland was running outside with his brother when he took a tumble and ended up running straight into an old metal tool of my father-in-law's. The metal caught the flesh on his side in three spots and tore some large and deep gashes in his hide and underlying muscle. Initially, between the blood and the way he was crying and limping, I really thought he had managed to stab himself in the gut, which was a particularly horrifying thought since I was alone in the countryside with no way to get him quick medical help at the time.

After soothing him enough to get a better look at his wounds, I was deeply relieved to see no signs of abdominal perforation, but I was still taken aback by how bad his injuries were and how much he was bleeding. While I waited desperately for my father-in-law to get home and lend me his truck, I gently cleaned Rowland's wounds, and I thank all the gods that I was able to work a successful Blood Stanching charm on him despite the severity of the bleeding. He was already beginning to shiver and drool with nausea, making me think he was starting to go into shock, so I'm not sure how much worse it might have gotten if I hadn't stemmed the flow of bood.

I managed to get him to the vet, where he had to stay for the day being cleaned, treated, and given 15 stitches. He is clearly in a lot of pain and fear, but he should recover fine, which I am beyond grateful for. That being said, though, the veterinary bill was $864 (everything on the itemized invoice below plus an additional $17 for anti-nausea meds that prevent him from throwing up after anesthesia, which could tear his sitches) and while we were able to pull from our savings to pay for this, it's still a rather disheartening financial turn of events. Especially since I've been mostly working free cases the past few weeks, meaning that I've taken in very little money recently. While I trust my spirits to keep our needs met so long as I honor my vows, it would still be nice not to be forced into depleting our life savings.

I held a raffle once to help fundraise for my older dogs who had started a regimen of expensive pain medications at the time, and I am now considering doing this again. Specifically, I am considering raffling off a handmade wooden stave that I'm currently selling for $200. I was thinking that, since this piece is highly unique and fairly expensive, people might want to enter the raffle for $5 a person (using the link I end up providing) and then the winner would be chosen by a random number generator. Whoever won would end up with a $200 Stave of braided thorny Crabapple wood that was harvested from a 120+ year old tree and sealed with a traditional black Hearth Soot stain, for only $5.

Of course, a raffle like this would only be of use if enough people think they would actually consider entering the raffle. After all, if only 20 people entered, I would be selling this $200 piece for $100, which wouldn't help me fund this medical care and would actually lose me money overall. As such, I figured I would make poll to help me gauge the viability of this idea, like I did the last time.

Sorry again to be doing this. I hope you can understand. ♡

[girlneuter]

Tldr; i need help affording end of life care for one of my dogs. you can help by sharing this post and donating what you’re able to (more info below image). thank you <3

(image description; a red dog with pointed ears is resting his head on the lap of his owner and looking in to the camera)

one of my dogs has been sick recently and when we took him to the vet we found out that it’s a lot worse than we realized. within the last month he’s accumulated fluid in his abdomen and chest from a mass in his liver. we tested his stool + urine, did blood work + x rays, and scheduled an ultrasound to see if there’s any chance of it being operable. they drained over 350ml of fluid from his abdomen and put him on a diuretic + pain meds to help keep him comfortable. we won’t know for certain until after he has an ultrasound but the prognosis isn’t very good either way. it’s very likely that he’ll continue to fill up with fluid until he goes in to organ failure from the masses and we were told he only has a few months left.

I’m trying to be strong for him and give him the best chance that we can but it will require some serious intervention and management. We’re adjusting his diet and adding some supplements along with his meds and praying that it buys him more time. Even if they are able to operate there’s still a good chance that it could grow back…

But I’m holding out hope for his recovery and asking for all of the help that i can get. We have a shih tzhu that’s older than him and we were able to get her heart condition stabilized so much that she went from being a candidate for euthanasia to having a normal sized heart (it was so enlarged when we got her that it was pushing her trachea out of place), no murmur, and is very well managed with meds. I’ve depended on Vin for so much and for so long that he will always be a part of my life.

I’m just asking for any help that we can get. We’re in the process of filing for bankruptcy so we don’t have any credit cards to fall back on. We’re supported by my husbands single income as I struggle to find a part time job that can accommodate my disability. We were able to get a discount on our last visit because we receive food assistance but it still came to just under $400 ($381 to be exact). It’s a good deal for the amount of services that we received but it’s money that we were setting aside for rent.

(Image description; a cropped image of a bank statement that reads “At Humane Society Of, [redacted] On [Redacted] From Card number [Redacted]” and a charge for $381.15 labeled as Processed)

Our next visit is going to cost a little bit more than our last as the ultrasound is from a team that travels to the clinic. We were quoted around $412 for the next visit but it may be more if he needs fluid drained again… not counting prescription food, meds, or supplements, we’re already down over $800+ and that’s just for diagnostics and early stages of treatment.

It’s an embarrassing position to be in but the reality is that I’m struggling to keep up as it is. I really appreciate anyone who shares this post and/or donates to help us cover the costs of his medical expenses. I’ll make sure to update if I’m able to find a job, especially if I can get in at a clinic for discounted treatment (I have a history of vet assisting)

(Image descriptions; the first is a red shiba inu sitting on a couch next to a cat. both are looking at the camera. the second image is the same red dog cuddling with an elderly gray dog on a bed)

Ways you can help;

1. Share this post !

i totally understand if you aren’t able to give any money and i don’t want you to feel obligated to. sharing does help even if you don’t have a lot of followers

2. you can donate money for Vin’s recovery in the following ways;

- Paypal @ ReyOfTheLight

- Venmo @ rey-fillback

- cashapp $reyfillback

[shittysawtraps]

Hello, kitty- hi, hi, beloved boy.

It is my understanding you are overweight, which is bad for your health, especially at your age and with your medical issues. Yeah, you’re a little too fat, but it’s not your fault- don’t worry, we’re not mad at you. We know your meds make you hungry. It’s not your fault, we know, baby. You’re such a good boy, such a pretty kitty. We’re not mad at you.

That being said. Before you is a schedule with five listed times. 7am, 12pm, 5pm and 10pm- a schedule approved by your vet to help your weight get back under control. At these five times, you will be fed a half a can of cat food. The wet kind, yes, I know, we know you like that stuff more. Only the best for such a beautiful boy.

Despite the fact that we have been using this schedule for a while, I have been made aware of the fact that you continue to beg for food outside of those times. I know, you’re very hungry, but I promise you’re getting fed enough. You’re a hangry little guy, I know, it’s not your fault.

But. To remedy this, we need you to learn patience.

My apprentices will be coming in and out of the room, which has been decorated to your luxury. They will stop to say hi and give you some love. However, if you begin meowing at them for food or attempting to lead them to your food bowl when it is not time to feed you, you will not be provided food. They will not provide you any attention if you do. It will only be responded to at the designated times, at which you will be given food and proper medication. It’s mean, I know. I’m sorry, baby. But you’re gonna be a lot happier if you can learn when you will eat, okay?

You have from 7am to 5pm today. I would have felt too bad taking you away all day. If by the end of the day you haven’t learned, you will still be allowed back home, however, you will continue to not know when you are being fed and be hungry and unhappy about it. We’re doing this because we love you, kitty, yes we do, we love you very much, and we want you to be happy.

[c0rvusx2]

Wolf-ji 🤡

Toji x fem!reader

18+: Toji being a perv, swearing, described nudity I think. Somewhat creepy ig, he likes watching you do stuff. No smut, but it’s kinda spicy. Use of 2nd POV (you, your) rather than 3rd (she,her).

Notes: Keep in mind that he has the mind of a human, so don’t take it wrong 🤝 This man is my brain rot 🤤 lmk if I need to raise the age warning

Genre: Fluff/Crack, spicy idk

Toji had no fucking clue where he was. He expected hell to be… a lot less looking like a city alleyway. He tried to lift himself, rather than feeling like his legs they were bent at an uncomfortable looking angle. Pain flared in his left arm, he bent his head to see a bullet wound, a nasty one that kept on bleeding.

“The fuck?” He stretched as best he could, looking around for some sort of item that would give him his reflection. Luckily, there was a abandoned mirror, cracked and without purpose. Toji began to limp over to the reflector, his legs stiff rather than it’s normal nimble movements.

“Oh fuckin’ hell-“

Okay, so maybe going grocery shopping late at night might be a bad idea—especially since there’ll be all sorts of creeps walking around. Not to mention it’s freezing out there, but it’s too late. You’ve already stepped out of the store and onto the empty sidewalk, and if this was the Wild West there’d be tumble weeds rolling from view. You shiver, beginning your journey back to the safe confines of your home.

The store you frequented was your favorite, and the farthest… so to save time you’d take shortcuts through alleyways. Today would be the first time you were doing it late at night.

You stare into the darkness of the passageway in front of you, anxiety bubbling in your stomach. “Quick… nice and quick…” you hype yourself up before storming ahead, using a quick pace to get you to the other side. The deeper you went, the darker it became and soon the only thing illuminating the alley was the clouded moonlight from above.

From ahead of you, you suddenly see a pair of eyes, gazing right back at you with a stern emerald green color.

You screamed as the eyes began to rapidly get closer, accompanied by the sounds of claws hitting against the ground. You dodged, reversing yourself and pressing your back to the alleyway’s wall. A harsh tug came from your grocery bag, which almost ripped your arm right off your torso. Muffled growling came from the creature that was trying to steal your food. Luckily, you recognized the creature that was attacking you, it was some dumb dog.

This made you enraged and frustrated, this shit costed you a good chunk of the money saved from the leftovers after you payed bills—and the bills around here ain’t cheap.

“Bitch!-“

🌌

Toji is one lucky bastard. Perhaps this was god giving him a 2nd chance at life- their weird way of dishing out redemption.

Somehow, he was able to worm his way into the chick-he-was-about-to-rob’s heart. Life’s good for the man-turned-wolf, he’s got free food, a roof to live under, and no rent to pay. A bargain in his mind. The only downside being he won’t be able to fuck around anymore, and he sure as hell is NOT gonna fuck a dog.

You felt bad for the dog, the moment you saw it’s form when you scrambled out the alleyway. It wasn’t scrawny, but it wasn’t very lean either. It had a scar present on the right side of it’s mouth, sharp green eyes and dirty matte black fur. It sustained a limp arm, a recent wound most likely the reason why it didn’t go all out on you.

You couldn’t really just walk away from a hurt animal, the guilt would eat you up the moment you turned your back. You were also studying to be a vet, moments like this were what you meant for. So you left some food, ran home to fetch a med kit, and returned with your car.

Here you were now, caring for one big ass dog who kept stealing your food—even though you bought him his own food.

You named him Toji, mainly because that scar on the dogs mouth was hella familiar to the Toji you fawned over in Jujutsu Kaisen. He looked at you weirdly when you said that, but snorted a moment later and stalked off to your TV set.

The strange thing about him was that he apparently knew how to operate cable TV, which amazed you yet weirded you out at the same time.

You noticed Toji naps a lot, and wakes up whenever you turn on Netflix. He’ll eagerly sit next to you, sometimes snacking (read stealing) popcorn whenever you make some.

For some reason he likes tuning in whenever you play any anime episodes, especially Jujutsu Kaisen. Whenever Fushiguro comes onto screen Toji’s fluffy tail begins to wag a bit, which you giggle at. He’ll catch you looking and snap at you, which causes you to furthermore laugh at. In the end he’ll end up tackling you onto the couch.

🌌

Toji often feels bored in your household. Nothing really for him to do since he’s apparently a dog now. Nothing to do other than follow you into the bathroom whenever you’re going to shower, keeping a keen eye on every curve of your body. Nothing to do other than watch the fat of your ass lower into his view when you have to bend over to clean up a mess you of him might’ve made.

Nothing to do other than create smutty fantasies of you in his head from when he was human, imagining what your cute little moans would sound like with you under him. Nothing to do other than watch your tits bounce whenever you two go out for a jog in the early morning. Nothing to do other than take a nap between your legs, resting his head on your stomach or between your breast whenever he can. Nothing to do but wish your pretty lips were wrapped around his cock instead of that popsicle you were sucking on a hot summer day.

Toji was a lucky bastard. And lucky bastards get what they want.

🌌

“Toji? Toooojiiii, breakfast! Where’d the hell you go?” You called out, turning the house upside down as you looked for him.

“Toji?” The only place you haven’t looked was the guest bathroom, and currently the door was closed shut. You could hear shuffling from inside, which made you wonder how the dog could’ve closed the door. Without warning, you swiftly pulled open the door.

“What’s going on in her-“ You stopped mid sentence, mouth agape at the figure who stood in front of your bathroom’s vanity. You both stared each other down, your eyes blown wide open while his were glued to yours without emotion. It was a stare down for what seemed like ages, until the familiar man broke the silence.

“What?”

You screamed, and you wished it was without the s because it was embarrassing. He flinched at your volume and seemed to disappear for millisecond, only to return right in front of you, hand on your mouth.

“Jesus Christ- I know you’re a loud mouthed brat but now’s not the time to scream yer’ lungs out,” He huffed, “You can do that later,” The man smirked, you could feel your face flush a bit. After a sec, he hesitantly let go of your mouth. Your mouth was left agape again as Hulu blinked wildly in disbelief at the hulking man in front of you.

“I- wait a fucking second… where’s my dog!?” The man just deadpanned at you, you took this time to eye him up and down. His skin tight shirt had a massive part of it missing on it’s left side, dark splotches of blood surrounding it. The familiar man, however, seemed completely fine.

“C’mon, is it not obvious!?”

“No!? It’s not possible for some anime character to come to life!?” At this you dashed out the room, running into the kitchen to nab your phone to call 911. Before you could even pick it up from the counter, the phone was snatched at lightning speed.

“Hey-!” You whipped around, immediately meeting a stone hard chest.

You were trapped.

“What do I gotta do to prove ‘m real, huh?”

💫

Omfg this is so ooc 💀 writing in character is hard.

If anyone’s confused Toji died and reincarnated into a dead dog’s body that looks exactly like him. During the night get went back to the jjk dimension, shibuya happens, and he returns back human.

Not proofread 🤡

[todaysbird]

It's kind of like this for me... you go in to the vet, and you see all those posters on the walls about dog dental health or heartworm meds or whatever, and you look and they're from a company trying to sell you a related med

My understanding is that usually those companies are paying the vet to post what are basically ads

And like... on one hand, those probably are effective meds for those things, and those are things that need treating. Also, if the vet is getting compensated, that may help to pay for stuff like rent and may lower my costs even a tiny bit... and that's probably good

On the other hand, I think that kind of advertising is very insidious and... you do have to ask the question, might it influence vets even unconsciously to favor giving out the meds/food/brands that also helps pay their bills, especially if they do get any kind of actual reward?

It's complicated, money makes all this stuff tricky. You get balancing operating cost, vs providing care, vs ethical questions around accepting deals with companies to directly or indirectly promote their products to people trying to take care of their pets

(And like you said, you've got a lot of this stuff around in the human medical field too)

I assume that's kind of your main point with what you've been saying here, that the whole thing is a muddy situation where monetary motives my consciously or subconsciously influence vets to lean towards brands that help them out regardless of if that's what's best for their client and their pets, but that also doesn't mean that it's some kind of pure scam with zero value either

Anyway, regardless of if I'm reading your thoughts on this right, hope you have a good day

Yes exactly. I do not believe that the average owner ‘knows more’ than a vet, however I do believe certain food brands are over-recommended due to those brands paying for their places in vet offices. This doesn’t even necessarily negate the quality of the food, or reflect on the care the veterinarian provides.

I remember getting into a long debate over the phone with a vet tech when she insinuated I had gotten grain free food for my dog as a fad diet, and they only recommended Hill’s. My dog has allergies to grain, and gets violently ill when fed regular dog food. After many brands, we have settled on a grain free, sensitive tummy dog food that keeps her healthy and happy. This does not mean she was acting with intent to harm my dog. Vets are more aware of dogs’ needs than the average person, AND you as an owner have the responsibility to know & advocate for your pet’s individualized needs.

[terresdebrume]

38, 39, 41, and 42 for Lieb ship of your choice!

[From this ask game]

Thanks for the ask :D You're starting to know me, Lieb and Web are inseparable in my head, so we're going to go with that :P

38: Who is more sexually experimental? Who's more vanilla?

So I've read a bunch of fics where Web is the one with the surprising kinks and now it's kind of embedded in my head tbh x)

But also I don't think Web would necessarily be super out there in terms of kinkiness, I think it's more that Joe has all these ideas about what a guy can and should want and kinda subconsciously doesn't really let himself think of sexy stuff to do besides the 'classics' so to speak.

I do think he's very entertained by what he perceives to be his weirdo of a boyfriend though.

39: Who would rescue an injured animal and nurse it back to health? What would the other think?

I think most of their friends assume Web would be the one to do the puppy eyes and Joe does the actual nursing work, but depending on the severity of things I think it'd be the other way around.

I think after the war, Joe can't stand to watch animals in pain, every time he tries to do something that makes it uncomfortable it makes him sad angry and snappy and saying they should mercy kill the thing while being secretly heartbroken about it.

So what actually happens is that Web changes the bandages, force-feeds the medicine, occasionally drains infected wounds or looks for parasites in the feces, and he's the one who takes the animal to the vet to be put down/deals with the body when it's necessary.

Meanwhile, Joe goes to the shops to get the litter/food/meds, and when the animal is healthy again, if they decide to keep it, Web is very happy to leave most of the daily maintenance (filling the food and water bowl, cleaning cages, giving the baths, what have you) to Joe, who grumbles a lot but also doesn't actually try that hard to get Web to do his part.

41: Which one would take their jacket it off and drape over the other one because they were visibly shivering?

Oh, Joe. 100%. Web is more the 'let's get you a coat' type, which doesn't work with Lieb because

He's fundamentally incapable of just admitting when he needs something, and

David had zero issue buying a 500 dollars coat on the spot which drives Joe absolutely nuts and immediately sends him into enough of a rant to stop David in his tracks.

(On the other hand, Web is a big sucker for having his man loan him a jacket and has 'forgotten' to grab his on more than one occasion.)

42: What's their favorite type of weather to enjoy together? (getting snowed in together, watching thunderstorms, etc.)

I don't think Joe ever enjoys the cold again after Bastogne (don't think any of the guys do tbh) but when he is forced to endure it he definitely plasters himself to David for the duration.

In terms of what they actually enjoy, I think Web probably enjoys thunderstorms (or at least, feels like he's supposed to enjoy them as a writer, because of the Romantic aspects and whatnot) but actually likes a nap in the afternoon best, especially if he can get Joe to join him and they lounge around in the sunlight like cats.

For Joe, I think he likes early summer mornings, when there's still some dew on the grass and things aren't too hot yet, and he manages to drag Web out of bed for a quiet breakfast outside.

[heybeyby]

Hello, I am a human medicine student from Gaza City. I am asking you for urgent help in publishing the link for my family and delivering it to people interested and able to help us. I did not want to do that, but the tragic situation we are living in is what made me have to do this. I feel sad and helpless, after we had Everything, we are now homeless on the streets, we live in a tent next to a dilapidated public toilet and there is sewage, filth and waste everywhere, we sleep on it! We suffer from terrible heat, insects and scorpions, the danger of death, bombs and missiles, in addition to hunger of course, and the danger of pollution and terrible diseases.Especially digestive, respiratory and reproductive! My younger siblings are suffering and very sick. They are terrified of everything, especially scorpions and insects. My father and mother cannot bear it any longer. You have the right to imagine that when you spend your life building for yourself and your children to live a decent life, all of this goes away in the blink of an eye, and now when you reach the age you should To rest in it, you are forced to start over !!? , but the most important thing now is to try to stay alive and protect your children from all the factors of death that surround us! I ask anyone who has humanity or conscience to feel our situation and put himself in our place. How can a person who has lived with dignity all his life accept this? We are dying slowly every day. Please, if anyone can help, even if just a little, do not delay! Your little means a lot to us!

https://gofund.me/5f12ba33

This fundraiser has been vetted on this list as number 221. Raghad is an amazing artist, whose art you can see here, and a second year med student. If you can, please share and donate to her and her family's campaign.

[andnowanowl]

eSims for Palestine

Fundraisers for Palestine (Part 2)

Part 1 here

Part 3 here

Reminder that there has been a polio outbreak in Gaza due to the horrible conditions there, and children are especially at risk for infection.

Youssef Al-Habil - needs funds to save his young son, Majd, who is suffering from a severe respiratory illness. His wife's name is Khadija. €10,003 of €20,000. Vetted here, #406.

Nour Ashour - needs funds to help his child, Muhammed, who needs physiotherapy due to being born with hypoxia. £1,636 of £80,000. Vetted here.

Mohammed Asfour - has several members of family that need evacuation, including two teens. £872 of £10,000. Vetted here.

Ehab Ayyad - Has 20? members of his family that need evacuating. €2,297 of €50,000. Unverified, likely legitimate.

Ezzedine Salem - needs evacuation with family. €1,309 of €20,000. Vetted here.

Mounes Al-Kafarna - father of two children, one of whom needs milk and the other who needs skin treatment. $355 of $20,000. Unverified, donate at your own discretion.

Ola Ferwana - mother of three children: Yamen, Qusai, and Mira. Husband got stuck in Egypt because of Oct. 7. €4,360 of €35,000. Unverified, likely legitimate.

Mohammed Helles - needs aid for himself, his wife, and children. €2,411 of €45,000. Vetted here.

Mohammed Almadhoun - needs evacuation with ten family members, including four children: Sarah, Yomna, Massa, and Misk. €6,867 of €50,000. Vetted here on verified fundraisers, #667.

Mohammed Alanqar - needs to evacuate with wife, Walaa, and children: Zina, Salma, Omar, and Batoul. €187 of €50,000. Unverified, donate at your own discretion.

Samar Saed Kamel Saed - the brother of @90-ghost, Ahmed, who has been working tirelessly to verify fundraisers. Ahmed's family is still in Gaza.

Mohammed Naser Ayyad - seventeen year-old high school student who needs to evacuate his seven siblings and mother. €4,128 of €38,000. Unverified, donate at your own discretion.

Oday Alanqar - needs to evacuate with his family, including his five year-old sister Rafif. €3,468 of €50,000. Vetted here.

Yahya Ahmad - pharmaceutical student who needs funds for his sick father and brother. $1,435 USD of $50,000. Vetted here.

Bilal Salah - needs to evacuate at least 20 members of his family. €102,279 of €110,000. Vetted here.

Rasha Saad Al-Din - needs to their mother, their father, and their brothers: Karim, Hala, and Abdel Rahman. €2,086 of €50,000. Unverified, donate at your own discretion.

Etaf Al-Qataa - has a husband, Youssef Islim, and children: Moataz Salim, Moatasem Salim, Maria, Adam, and Amira, in need of evacuation. €1,397 of €10,000. Unverified, donate at your discretion.

Juliet Al-Habash - needs to evacuate ten family members from Gaza. kr4,733 NOK of kr350,000. $1 USD = kr10.50 NOK. Verified here, is a friend of @burningnightgiver.

Mohammed Shamia - medical student who needs funds for ten members of his family still trapped in Gaza, and for himself and cousins that have already evacuated to Egypt. Mother has arrhythmia and needs meds. $59,440 of $70,000. Verified here, #7.

Aahed Alanqar - needs to be evacuated with wife, Maisoon, and three daughters: Fatima, Iman, and Nour. €270 of €40,000. Vetted here.

Safaa - law student with a young baby, husband, and parents who need medical attention (diabetes and stroke). $9,449 of $75,000. Vetted here.

Dr. Husam Farhat - needs to evacuate Gaza with family. $4,835 raised of $29,500. Vetted here, #248.

Eman Abushaban - needs help evacuating with husband and five children. Previous fundraiser was cancelled by GFM. £1,402 of £35,000. Vetted here.

Sahar Zaqout - needs help getting necessities for her five children. £85 of £55,000. Vetted here, Sahar is @burningnightgiver's cousin.

Ahmed Al-Habil - needs to evacuate with family, including children: Omar, Khadija, Ali, and Zain, and also his elderly parents that need medical attention. Note: this is a different person than the Ahmed Al-Habil on Part 1. €929 of €50,000. Unverified, donate at your discretion.

Safaa Al Khatib - photographer married to photojournalist Muhammad Al-Thalateeni and two children: Wateen and Naya. Need funds to cover living expenses. €22,825 of €35,000. Vetted here, #135.

Mohanad Abu Tahoun - needs funds to evacuate Gaza with his wife, Farah. €15 of €25,000. Verified here.

Mohammed Ayyad - needs funds to feed and medically treat his children. €302 of €35,000. Unverified, donate at your own discretion.

Hassen Wajih - needs funds for him and his wife to survive in Gaza. €120 of €50,000. Vetted here.

Hashem Al-Shawish - needs funds for evacuation for himself and the nine other members of his family, including his infant son, Omar, who was born premature and has health issues. €5,122 of €45,000. Vetted here.

Mohammed Abujubara - needs funds to evacuate 14 members of his family. $5,155 CAD of $150,000. Unverified, donate at your own discretion.

Ayman Al-Habil - has eight children: Aya, Heba, Nour, Malak, Mustafa, Muhammad, Ahmed, and Yazan, the youngest of whom are experiencing health issues. kr8,059 NOK of kr700,000. $1 USD = kr10.58 NOK. Vetted here.

Mohammed Al-Deeb - needs funds for his seventeen family members, who are homeless now in Gaza. €425 of €65,000. Vetted here, #212.

Omar Al-Habil - family of five, including sisters Ghazal and Mesk. $45 USD of $35,000. Unverified, donate at your own discretion.

Ali Helles - needs funds to evacuate and to ensure family has necessities. €105 of €100,000. Unverified, donate at your own discretion.

Mohammed Ayyad - needs funds for him and his five children. €17,253 of €35,000. Vetted here. Note: This is a different Mohammed Ayyad than then one mentioned above.

Mohammed Ibrahim - needs funds for his little brother, Ahmed, who needs eye surgery. €60 of €80,000. Unvetted, donate at your own discretion.

The Faten Family - need funds to rebuild and find safety. kr2,978 NOK of kr1,000,000. 10$ = 107 NOK. Unverified, donate at your own discretion.

Iyad Alanger - needs funds to evacuate Gaza, receive medical treatment, and resume medical studies. €337 of €40,000. Unverified, donate at your own discretion.

Falastin Iwais - wants to evacuate her family from Gaza, including her elderly mother and brother's young children. kr9,928 SEK of kr2,000,000. 1$ = kr10.6 SEK. Vetted here, #282.

Abdelrahman Alanqar - needs funds to escape Gaza with family, rebuild his life, and begin education. €16,964 of €20,000. Vetted here.

Hazem Khalil - needs funds to evacuate his parents and siblings, two of whom are still children. €18,170 of €50,000. Vetted here, #281.

Farah - needs funds to get her family out of Gaza. £1,519 of £50,000. Vetted here.

Nedaa - needs funds to evacuate with her elderly parents, who need medical attention. £8,192 of £25,000. Vetted here.

Eman Abosedo - mother of three who needs funds to help rebuild after the destruction of Gaza. $210 USD of $50,000. Verified here.

Bilal Abed Rabou - needs funds to evacuate his family from Gaza. €8,035 of €80,000. Vetted here.

Omar Al-Habil - family of five that needs aid. $93 raised of $35,000. Unverified, donate at your discretion.

[skzoologist]

Unfamiliarity [two]

word count: ~10.5k

genre: Hybrid AU, no pairings

warnings: forced intake of medication, usage of heavy meds, panic attacks, signs of PTSD, hints of being experimented at, past abuse, occasional curse words, hurt/comfort, just bad choices overall from everyone

summary: Being taken in from the street means you get a mandatory, very fun session with the vet :)

a/n: I hope none of you missed the story too much, seeing as I took TWO MONTHS to update. I am horrible, my time-management skills are non-existent. My deepest apologies, I will put up the next chapter hopefully the next week to try and tame your ire. Especially since no new members are introduced in this chapter yet, only in the next one... Anyway, I hope you have fun reading this and feel free to barge into my ask box if you have any thoughts or questions!

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in!Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

previous I masterlist I next

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Waking up was not fun at all.

The moment my consciousness resurfaced and I opened my eyes, my whole body started hurting. My head pounded mercilessly, feeling heavy and fuzzy. My throat was parched, tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, the notion of peeling it off uncomfortable.

I slowly got up, my body shuddering and fur twitching as I sucked in a whine that almost left my muzzle. My back hurt and stretched, the smell of antiseptics hitting me in the face. My nose crinkled up, eyes watering from the unpleasantly strong smell. Shaking my head to try and get rid of at least a bit, I huffed and stood up on shaky paws, carefully stepping down from the 'bed'.

My whole body felt like a weight as I stood there, needing a moment to recollect myself.

What was I doing last time? I wasn't in 'bed'... No, I was eating, right. The wolf… yes, he was teaching me how to use those sticks. Then…

Everything came rushing back to me, the glass, the capture, the stars. Wait no, those were freckles.

Trotting towards the place where the clothes were stored, I stood on my hind legs, front right paw resting on the right door as I opened the left one with my maw. Sure enough, there were clothes neatly laid out there by the others, like it always had been.

Shifting into my other -more vulnerable- form, I suppressed every groan of pain that wanted to escape me. The scars on my upper body stretched painfully, the feeling unpleasant and familiar. Quickly putting on some clothes, I walked towards the door and took a couple of deep breaths.

Nobody was nearby, they were all huddled in the 'living room' from what I could tell. That was… weirdly perfect.

Quietly opening the door, I stepped out into the hallway I had walked across so many times before. Not wanting to notify anyone of my presence just yet, I left the door open -instead of risking them hearing me closing it- and stepped across the smooth floor, my steps muted and precise.

Nearing the stairway, I stopped as I heard hushed voices. I couldn't make out any words thanks to my fuzzy head, but their tone was more than enough to indicate their misery. My ears pressed into my head, knowing I was probably the cause of that.

Gathering my courage, I gulped down my racing heart that leapt into my throat and took a step towards the staircase.

By the fourth step I was noticed.

By the sixth, their voices completely died down.

By the seventh I stopped, gaze meeting theirs after a few seconds.

I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry."

My voice was raspy, the words almost unrecognisable from the lack of use over the long years. Yet, I continued looking at them, my uninjured hand clenching in anticipation, waiting for them to inevitably throw me out or hurt me.

"You…you can speak?" - croaked out a small voice, the others too stunned to speak yet.

I nodded.

"...Then why haven't you spoken so far?" - asked another.

"...wasn’t allowed to…" - I rasped out, my throat closing up in strain.

I awkwardly continued to stand there, waiting for a reaction, just anything.

"Well, why’re you just standing there, come down here you idiot." - choked out Chan. Before I could open my mouth to protest, Minho cut me off. "No, we’re not angry at you, get your ass down here or else Felix and Changbin will tackle you onto the stairs and worsen your injuries."

I just accepted my fate, making my way over towards them in my stupor. I didn't even reach them when the aforementioned feline shot up from his seat and rushed at me. I didn't fall over only because Minho warned me, so I stood there stiffly as the boy clinged to me as if his life depended on it, apologising over and over again.

My brows furrowed. What wrong did he do that he needed to be apologising for?

I quickly caught the words 'shirt' and 'breakfast', the pieces clicking together as I realised he had been blaming himself for my panic at the table.

I hovered my hand above his head, only after a moment of hesitance did I finally gently place it atop his mop of angelic hair and stroked it, mindful of his little ears.

"Not your fault." - I rasped out, but he either didn't hear or didn't believe me as he just buried his face deeper into my chest.

Sighing, I took his face in both of my hands -injury be damned- and nudged him to look at me. When he finally did, I repeated the same sentence, my tone firm and leaving no place for any argument. I wiped his tears with my thumbs, then looked towards the others as I continued speaking -or at least trying to-.

"Bad memory. Not anyo–... anyone's fault. Sorry. Broke glass and caused trouble."

My voice died halfway and I sounded like I rose from the dead, but none of them seemed to care. Changbin indeed affectionately hugged me once I was close enough, my body almost smushed into paste. I endured it, even as my form protested and skin shivered, knowing he had no bad intentions. Chan was full on crying and smiling at me, engulfing me in a bear hug once Felix let go of me for a few seconds. Minho just repeatedly called me an idiot in an endearing tone, his voice light and playful.

That evening was one I would never forget for the rest of my life, the warmth that surrounded me suffocatingly gentle and sweet.

-.-.-.-.-

The days kept going by in a similar fashion, my life gaining a rhythm I never thought I would ever have.

Everyday I would wake up in my little den -that nobody intruded upon, just like the wolf promised- to a knock on the door, one of the boys waiting there with breakfast for me. Taking it thankfully after greeting each other, I would then go to the bathroom and get ready for the day -yes i had to be shown how to wash my teeth and i absolutely disliked how it felt-. Afterwards, I would join whoever was in the big, spacious room, lounging on the sofa together. Skinship still made my hair stand on end, so I usually sat on one side, while the others were on the opposite one, huddled and cuddled up in one big pile. Then usually, around the same time I would be ushered back into my room. Not that I minded -sometimes i even left earlier, the presence of the others too much for the day-, but I had a feeling it was so I wouldn’t run into the human.

It left a strange feeling in my chest, whenever I thought about how suspiciously considerate these hybrids were towards me.

I also got used to everyone's scents by now, although my stomach sometimes still unpleasantly turned whenever they were especially strong and mixed together. The clothes they let me borrow definitely helped hasten the whole process, even though they looked comically short on my stature.

Speaking of clothes, as I was putting on a fresh shirt, I heard a ripping sound echoing through the room.

Panicking, I quickly took it off, the movement irritating my injuries further, but I didn't care about that. No, checking the precious fabric’s condition was a way bigger priority. I turned around the piece of cloth in my hands and sure enough, there was a newly formed hole in its fabric.

Putting on a different one -more carefully this time-, I made my way out of the room, my ears lowered and tail lifeless.

I was hit with deja vu as only Minho was lazily lounging on the sofa, attention partly on the TV, half asleep. Not wanting to bother him or accidentally fully wake him up, I was about to start leaving back into the hallway when Felix appeared. He greeted his feline friend and cuddled into him, purrs now loud enough for even me to hear.

Letting a small smile sneak itself onto my lips, I turned around to leave when suddenly, Felix's head popped up over the back of the couch. His left ear flicked as he was looking straight at me with a deadpan expression, motioning for me to join them. I shuffled in place, embarrassed I was caught, but went down the stairs to join them anyway.

The blonde boy greeted me quietly, the brunette conked out under him, soft snores already leaving his form. My gaze softened at the sight, ears letting up and tail swaying gently.

I took my usual place on the soft furniture, the shirt in my hand now painfully obvious. I played with it absentmindedly, just watching the TV alone as the other feline decided to take a nap as well. They had woken up not that long ago, so I couldn't really understand how they could fall asleep so fast once again. Huffing in amusement at them, I turned towards one of the downstairs hallways as I sensed the other two hybrids leave a room and approach us. Sure enough, they saw and greeted me, in return I nodded at them.

Before they could say anything, I put a finger in front of my lips, motioning towards the sleeping hybrids. Chan looked at them with such warmth as he chuckled, while Changbin just rolled his eyes playfully, muttering things about cats and their laziness.

"Oh, why do you have a shirt in your hands?" - the wolf asked after he sat down next to me, the other parts of the sofa taken by the stretched out felines.

My form turned sheepish, eyes looking at the ground. I held up the fabric for him to see, the hole painfully obvious as I muttered out a grated 'Sorry'.

"Don't be sorry baby, I honestly thought this would happen sooner. None of us have fitting clothing for you, seeing as you are ridiculously tall." He let out a small sigh, silently pondering over his next words. "I’ve waited with this for as long as I could, but it seems like we have no choice anymore, sorry. Because if we want to get you new clothes, you need a collar. To get one, you need to be officially adopted, and for that, you need a checkup. You needed one anyway, for your injuries." - he carefully whispered out, his gentle gaze searching my form for a reaction.

The blood froze into my veins. 

I never wanted to be adopted again, or to have a collar on my neck. I gulped, the air suddenly thin and not enough. The room felt hot, while my body remained frigid. I was vaguely aware of the wolf in front of me, but my vision became slightly hazy and limited.

I blinked several times, forcing the memories and feelings down, not willing to cause another scene and appear weak in front of them yet again.

"-by, are you alright?"

All at once I became painfully aware of his knowing gaze and gentle hold on my uninjured hand. I merely nodded, noticing Changbin hovering nearby as well. My ears flicked towards his direction, a sign I noticed him and was fine. He eased up and sat down next to Chan, head propped up on one of the elder’s shoulders.

"I'm sorry baby, we can wait a bit more to get your injuries looked at. Forget I said anything." - he squeezed my hand once more, then let go as he instead focused on the movie that was playing.

I tried to do so as well, mind numb and slow to work.

I remained seated there for the rest of the day -besides eating and such-, aware what the others were doing at all times. Sometimes they silently watched the TV, other times they caused a ruckus. Chan checked his phone a couple of times, but I wasn't bothered about that. He did that sometimes, probably speaking with his human. The day went by and I was soon back in my room, sleeping early to just end the day faster.

I should have cared about that phone checking.

The next day started the same as my days usually did, but when I met the others, there was a strange tension in the air. They seemed a bit awkward around me, especially the wolf. I only raised an eyebrow at that, an uncomfortable feeling settling into my gut. But I thought nothing more of it.

I really should have.

Next thing I knew, the day slowly trickled by, the bad feeling only growing stronger, body fidgeting endlessly. My eyes regularly flitted around the place, searching for the source of my uncomfort.

It arrived in the form of an ear-splitting ringing. I jumped, having never heard the loud sound and remained in place. The others looked at each other with uncertainty, letting the youngest boy open the door.

Taking a deep breath, my nose picked up on an unfamiliar smell, one that did not belong to a hybrid. Before Felix reached the door I bolted, vaulting over the sofa and up the stairs, diving under the 'bed' and into my den, my safe place.

There was an unknown human in the house and I had a really bad feeling that it had something to do with me. What if it was them, finally having found me, ready to take me back to their lab? What if it was the law, coming to punish me for what I had done?

My head raced with thoughts, none better than the other.

Amidst my panic, the door opened, Chan stepping in and crouching in front of my hidden form.

"Baby, come out please. He just needs to look at your injuries and check if they’re healing properly." - he coaxed fruitlessly.

Oh so it was just a doctor. I didn't know if it was worse or better.

"Baby, please, it's just me in here. Come out."

He was right, it was indeed only him in the room at that moment, the others’ scents all outside and not in the room.

Not getting an answer, he just sat down and continued to try and lure me out with gentle murmurs, his voice on the edge of begging. Still, it took him a good while to get me out of my den, but I slowly crawled out and looked at him wearily.

Betrayal.

Betrayal was all I felt, as he grabbed me, shouting for the others to rush in and hold me down. My back was pushed onto a plush surface as it burned, my limbs held down even as they struggled to regain their freedom.

But no matter how hard I tried, their grips firmly remained on my body. A growl ripped out of my chest as my jaw was forced open, something placed inside as they firmly shut it. I didn't want to swallow down whatever it was, but he kept his hand in place, the other massaging my throat.

Tears escaped my eyes as I couldn't fight it anymore, the object sliding down with a forced gulp.

I continued thrashing, even as I felt a bit more sluggish, but nothing more.

"Fuck, he needs another one."

No!

I ripped my left hand out of its hold, something painfully moving out of place as I struggled to break free, blindly clawing at anything I could reach. My limb was soon recaptured, the hold on it only causing more pain. In the next moment my jaw was forced open once again and I relived that horrible moment from a few minutes ago.

My body felt heavy, head hazy as I laid there panting, unable to do anything anymore.

The wolf came into my vision, wiping away the tear tracks from my cheeks as he whispered something about being sorry and not having a choice. I just continued laying there, the ceiling much more interesting for my unfocused eyes as I accepted my fate.

Their familiar scents left and in came a new one, my gut already churning in place.

The new voice introduced itself, but I couldn't be bothered to remember its name. My mind was stuffy, as if it was filled with cotton. The room looked somehow funny, the patterns seemingly coming to life with each passing second. I could hear a chuckle as I marvelled at them, having never seen such things before.

Wariness was sitting at the back of my mind, forgotten there. My mood took a funny turn as well, numb and giddy mixing together to make me obedient and helpful.

And I was. 

I sat up sluggishly and let the human do whatever he wanted to me as I merely watched him, like a lifeless doll on drugs. He checked various parts of my body, being extra diligent around the scars on my upper body, head and arm.  Although I did make a face when he checked inside my mouth or touched my ears and tail, goosebumps uncomfortably raised on the surface of my skin.

After way too much prodding and tests, he was finally done and left, the knots in my stomach easing up.

I remained seated where I was, the floor perpetually moving and writhing beneath my feet. I watched it, highly intrigued, even as someone else came into the room.

Looking up I realised it was the wolf, my mood elated and tail wagging, happy to see him.

With a 'Channie!' I hugged him rather forcefully, rubbing my head into his. Suddenly realising what he had done not even long ago, I let go of him quickly, as if he had the plague. "Wait, no, I am supposed to be angry at you." - I muttered, arms crossed.

He just laughed, patting my shoulder. "You can come in guys, he's good, although a bit too high!" - he shouted out the open door, leading me back to where I sat not long ago.

Not even a second later Felix rushed in and I tackled him similarly to the wolf, just with a happy shout of 'Sunshine!' this time. Realising he was in on my backstabbing too, I let go of him and scrunched up my nose. "Wait, I am supposed to be angry at you too."

I stepped away from him, but then Minho and Changbin came in as well, and in a now very familiar fashion I greeted them. "Binnie, Linooo!… Wait, you guys held me down too… Ooh the floor is still moving." - I released them, looking around the floor as I heard them all laugh.

"How long do you think the meds will last? I need to know when to start recording, this is golden." - cackled the scary feline.

"The doc said a few hours, and that’s with his abnormally high tolerance." - replied the wolf as I was led to the bed by Binnie, the ground still tripping me out.

"Can we keep some of these meds? I have never seen him like this before, so… open and cuddly." "Well the doc did give us some, in case he freaks out again or anything. And no, Lix, those are for emergency use only."

The kitten pouted and I almost went to comfort him, before once again I remembered what they did. I went to cross my arms as I pouted, but the rodent hybrid gently held my injured hand that now rested in a cast.

"Don't pout, please, we did what we thought was best." - he whispered, caressing the cast with his thumb. "If you want to blame anyone, blame me. I was the one who had that ide–" The wolf was elbowed in his sides by both felines, a 'Shut up' and 'Naur' leaving their lips in disharmony.

I pursed my lips together, opting to instead hide myself in Changbin's side.

"I was just so scared. I thought it was him, or, or the others. I didn't want to go back." - my voice rasped out, cracking at a few places.

A few seconds of silence passed as one of them carded their fingers through my hair soothingly.

"Baby, who is he?"

"Dun wanna talk about it."

I just pressed more into the younger boy, my voice muffled. Taking a deep breath of the tropical scent, I threw myself over the others, face now nestled into the wolf's middle.

"Smells good. Safe."

"Maybe we can use these meds out of emergency too sometimes."

-.-

I woke up to a full bed, the thought dancing around my mind before fully registering. I tensed up under all the bodies, my heart rate accelerating fast. Not wanting to wake them up, I scooted away as much as I could, my body ridden with goosebumps, reminded of the past.

Some of them stirred but remained asleep as I just sat there, trying to recollect what had happened that could result in this.

I, sadly, came up a bit blank.

Instead of wrecking my already hurting head even more, I watched the others sleep, their features peaceful and at ease. A smile slipped onto my lips.

I knew it for a while now, that they sneaked their way into my heart, I just kept denying it. My heart was just not ready to trust again, and it probably never would be.

But I was willing to try, for their sake.

I had no clue how long I had been sitting there, but gradually all of them woke up, greeting me and each other. I nodded back, the question I had been itching to get an answer to sitting on the tip of my tongue.

"What happened yesterday?"

They froze up, glancing at each other, until Minho slipped his phone out with a suspiciously wide grin on his face. He tapped some things and a video started playing.

A video of me, cuddling into every single one of them with a satisfied smile on my face.

I blanched, wide eyes not believing what they were seeing. I nearly choked on my spit when I heard their nicknames leaving my lips. Nicknames I thought I never said out loud.

"Yeah, you were extreeemely high from the meds." - laughed Chan, rubbing his nape at the memory. "Yup, called Lix's freckles stars too and asked Binnie if he could lift you up, since he has so much muscle."

My cheeks warmed up immediately, ears lowered in embarrassment. I took my tail into my uninjured hand, pushing my face into it to hide as they all just laughed at my expense.

I couldn't face them anymore. Never again, actually.

-.-.-.-

The following days I hid in my room, memories of that day now fully intact as they trickled back to me. I was hurt over being fooled and forced into a medical checkup, especially because they knew how I would react to it. So their solution was to lie to me and force medication down my throat… But to their credit, none of them came into the room uninvited still, only knocking to give me food, which I quickly took and shut the door into their faces.

I was torn.

On one hand, I had finally admitted that yes, they had wormed their way into my heart. On the other hand, the trust that had been so carefully crafted now crumbled down in front of my very eyes.

It was painful.

Instead I just let my eyelids flutter closed as I laid curled up in my den, tears easily racing down their already carved out paths.

I was so tired.

-.-.-.-

I was startled awake by quiet knocking on my door, the sound ear-piercing in the deadly silence. It must have been night, my tired mind supplied amidst its haze.

I blinked a couple of times, the weight of my body settling into my soul, easily convincing me to not move a finger.

But the knocking disagreed as it rang through my echoing room once more.

Taking a deep breath to will myself to move, I immediately recognised the sugary sweet scent wafting through the air, dragging a sigh from my body.

Crawling out of my hiding place, I held my head as it throbbed, sight swimming and throat parched. The thought of accepting the food I refused hours earlier didn’t sound too bad at that moment, but I instead shook my head gently and shut my eyes closed forcefully. My vision soon returned fully afterwards, so I slowly padded towards the door and opened it just enough for our eyes to meet.

Those usually glinting, bright nebulas were now dim, sitting atop dark and raw skin. The sight broke a part of me, but I showed no sign of it, no, I couldn’t, I refused to. Instead I just hummed with a questioning tone, wanting to hear the goal of his visit from his mouth directly.

"Hyung… Do you… Could we talk? Please?" - his voice cracked, eyes glistening and pleading.

I couldn't say no to that, so I opened the door just enough for him to slip in, closing it quietly after confirming no one else was nearby.

He awkwardly stood in the middle of the room, so I just motioned towards the 'bed' for him with a jerk of my head. Getting the hint, he carefully sat down at the edge of it, his lax tail laying close to his body in distress.

I remained standing in front of him, a fair distance between his timid form and my angry one, hands awkwardly crossed in front of my chest -this cast thing was getting on my nerves-. My question was clear to him, no words needed to convey it.

"We… You have to know we did it for your own good, Hyung. I…I'm really sorry, I'm not saying what we did was right, but you needed medical attention! Your- you didn't see your injuries, when the glass cut into your burgundy fur, I… I was so scared. You were bleeding a lot and, and… I just didn't want to lose you. None of us wanted to…"

The once bright boy in front of me was broken, tears cascading down his freckled cheeks, just like on that day. It felt like I cast a spell, a curse, hiding away the blinding star behind a curtain of weeping clouds.

It felt horrible.

I felt horrible.

Sighing quietly, I uncrossed my arms.

"I'll… I'll need some time to, to think this through." - my voice rasped out, the air grating against my vocal chords painfully.

The boy nodded, wiping his tears with his long sleeves, his feet carrying him out, through the doorway.

I just stood there, feeling empty even as the door closed and the quiet sniffing disappeared down the hallway.

"...For my sake, huh?"

-.-.-.-

It took me 3 days to scrape my feelings and thoughts together into a partly comprehensive ball. I still couldn't fully understand the situation, and in no way did I forgive them. But I also realised that I didn't have the full picture.

That was what brought me to the current situation, agitated form standing in front of the others' shocked ones.

"I'm still angry, but need explanation."

They just gaped at me for a few seconds, then looked at each other, as if silently communicating.

A deep sigh left the wolf as he rubbed his nape, gaze firmly planted into the ground by his feet.

"I was the one who called the shots, so if you still wanna be angry at someone by the end of this, let that only be me. The others don't deserve this."

Someone else wanted to interject, but his sharp glare was all it took to quickly shoot them down.

"While yes, you did need the check-up if you wanted to remain here, which is something we all wanted before you think anything else, your recent injuries were urgent. We did have our theories after you didn't really look to be in pain, but they were confirmed after the visit. You have a dangerously high tolerance for drugs and pain, so you must not’ve noticed the extent of your injuries, but please, believe us when we say they were severe. You became almost blind to your left eye, for the sake of-!  Sigh  But this still doesn't justify what we-, I did. I apologise, from the bottom of my heart."

I could only stare at his bowing form, the others following in suit. Something tightly constricted in my chest, something that started at the beginning of his speech. What it was, I had no clue.

A shaky breath left my form, my fists clenched and gaze dropping.

"It hurt."

The silence was deafening.

"I thought… I thought I could start to trust you. That I- was safe here… Why? It hurt so much." - as if the constricting band snapped in half, my chest became lighter and I just stood there as tears slowly cascaded down my face, hands uselessly hovering mid-air.

Nobody came near me, my body both happy and sad about it, a part of me already used to their warmth and comforting touches. It tore a violent sob out of my chest.

I was so tired of all this.

Of not being normal, not being able to enjoy someone's presence or touches. I wanted to be normal again! Not this, this freak!

"Oh baby… You're not a freak."

My sobs froze into my chest as I looked up through my tears, not even realising I spoke out loud.

"Yes, you’re not like the others, but only because you’re hurt. And hurt can be healed and fixed, even if it takes a long time. Maybe not fully, sure, but you can become better with time and care."

The voice of the wolf was soothing, like cold water on a hot summer day.

"But we can only help you if you let us."

The gaze of the little herbivore was equally warm.

"Please, Bae Hyung, let us help you."

The young feline's voice was broken, but it held so much strength it shook my soul.

And while the last member only nodded along and spoke nothing, his body posture and gaze sang poems, all with the same goal.

It was as if something I had been hauling around for long years got lighter, the weight not impossible to bear anymore. I could clearly hear my walls crumble, the ones I had put up after that day for my own protection. Fresh tears sprang into my eyes, lips trembling.

"Promise? N-no more?"

Even though my broken question couldn't have been any more vague, they all firmly responded, swearing to not let such a thing happen again.

And while yes, I did not forgive them at that moment, I knew it would only take time.

-.-.-

And time it took.

While I did leave my room occasionally, it only happened every few days and for a short time. My body involuntarily shuddered from their close proximity, afraid they would hold me down again and--

I shook my head, the thought bristling my skin, making my hair stand on end.

No, I refused to think about that. Instead, I focused on the scent of the sunlit forest, filled with tropical fruit. A meadow hidden between the tall giants, filled to the brim with mellow flowers, their sweet nectar luring all kinds of beings closer.

Taking a deep breath, the scent filled my lungs and lingered there, as if my organ clinged to it desperately.

A cheerful greeting broke me out of my trance, the source busy in the kitchen turning the place upside down amidst its mission to find snacks.

I didn't even notice I was walking down the hallway, let alone down the stairs, following the strengthening scent of a sweltering, bountiful forest.

Blinking, I nodded back at him, my eyes following his shorter form. Reaching up for a cabinet, his muscles tensed and yet, a pout sat on his lips as he just couldn't quite reach the prize he sought after so desperately.

Calmly striding over, I took the crinkly bag from the upper shelf, the packet having been safely tucked into the corner. After inspecting the bag for a brief second -they were some kind of chips-, I turned around and placed it into his hands, his form strangely frozen and big doe eyes innocently blinking up at me.

But before my head could tilt in confusion, he beamed up at me gratefully, bounding over to the sofa, beckoning me to follow after having fallen into its soft cushions.

A fond sigh left my nose, but I complied to his wishes nonetheless. Soon enough, our separate forms were watching some kind of romance story again -that was all we ever watched-, his arm that held the bag frequently stretched out towards me. A silent offering of food, one I gratefully accepted.

Changbin felt like fire. His presence hot, attention demanding, yet it was always tamed around me. He was a bundle of untamed flames whenever they thought I wasn't around, and still, the inferno was pleasantly warm and grounding. Safe. Like a lit bonfire on a cold winter night.

And I was but a cold, starved animal, undeniably drawn in by its light, yet also afraid of being burnt. Thus, I could only watch from afar, basking in the small wisps of fire that reached my form as the others huddled around it, hungrily devouring its unending heat.

And maybe, maybe I would be able to get closer one day too.

-.-.-

Quietly slinking down the stairs, I looked towards the kitchen where Minho resided, his back turned towards me as he was busy making food.

I purposefully stepped towards the side so he could catch my form in the corner of his eye, not wanting to startle him. My plan worked as he glanced at me while muttering out a short greeting, eyes quickly focusing back on the pot sizzling under the heat.

Taking a deeper breath, its aroma filled my nose, pleasantly tickling my mind and hungry stomach.

As if led by the scent, I walked closer, curious form now dangerously close to his cooking one. I could easily see over his shoulders, my eyes drinking in every move he made, hands gracefully working the pan and the food residing in it.

It was quite mesmerising.

Throughout it all, he never once ushered me away or uttered a word.

Minho felt like the tall grass in an unending meadow. Always there, calmly swaying in the gentle breeze. He didn't speak a lot compared to the others, instead he let his actions do the talking. His occasional words were sometimes harsh, sure, but his actions were always gentle. He was a pillar you could lean on, should you need it.

It was reassuring.

Minho was reassuring.

-.-.-

The wolf was weird. Weird in the way that he tried to hide things, certain feelings behind smiles. His broad shoulders always tense in a way, as if carrying the weight of the world. 

But I could smell it, his pain and exhaustion oozing into his scent, the forest ageing and weeping in return. It unpleasantly twisted my nose, causing my brows to furrow as well.

There were times where he only smelled like sunshine, the trees blooming in happiness as a gentle breeze ruffled their canopy. His face reflected his mood, lips breaking out in a face-splitting smile, dimples on show and gaze glinting.

But at other times his smile didn't quite reach his eyes, the dark orbs seemingly drowning. In what, I did not know.

Compared to Chan's safe, yet chipped presence, the little snow leopard was the exact opposite. The boy wore his heart on his sleeves, his mood usually bright.

Felix was like the burning sun, a star so bright it felt painful to get closer. His presence alone eased the atmosphere, his affectionate touches and hugs making everyone melt in his arms. 

When he was sad, he didn't hide it and instead sought comfort from someone. But just like how clouds never stayed in front of the sun to obstruct it forever, he always bounced back into his cheery self.

Felix was my sunshine, the light in the unending darkness. Chan was my guiding path, leading me away from my past.

I could only fondly gaze at their focused faces as we sat in front of the TV, the artificial light creating shadows on their faces, highlighting every imperfection. Yet I found all of them perfect, my arms folded on the back of the sofa, head laying on top of it to observe them better.

I wanted to carve that moment, them into my memory, into my heart. Desperately wanting my soul to remember every single one of them and their features.

That was when I had suddenly realised, my anger towards them had vanished, just like the cold, white veil over the world.

-.-.-.-

Waking up under the bed in my den early in the day was nothing out of the ordinary. The empty feeling in my gut was, however. I furrowed my brows together, lips setting into a line.

What was this feeling?

It ate away at my very being, as if it was missing something. But I had everything I had gotten over the past months, except maybe a few snacks that had gone missing.

Blindly searching around, I grasped at the 'blanket' and brought it to my chest, hugging it tightly. The motion did little to fill the gaping hole in my chest.

Looking back at it, the feeling was familiar and not at all new. It just wasn't this bad before, or if it was, I did not notice it.

Huffing in frustration, I crawled out and begrudgingly got ready to start the day, even though it clearly wasn't ready to do so itself. The sun wasn't even up, its rays barely peeking over the horizon. I shielded my eyes from it and instead went out of the room quietly.

The house was silent, bathed in dancing shadows. A quick inhale told me all I needed to know, the scent of the human still strongly lingering in the air, meaning they were still in the house. Already knowing they lived on the same floor as me, I quickly made my way down the stairs, steps muted and calculated. I had learned which parts of the wood creaked a long time ago, the motion now automatic for my body.

Not wanting to meet the human by staying at the sofa, I turned towards the hallways hidden by the stairs.

My body automatically led me to a door and stopped in front of it.

Gaze sweeping over the floor, I hesitated. They were probably still sleeping. I didn't want to be a bother, especially since I didn't even know what to say to them. Something along the lines of 'Hey, sorry, I just feel empty and weird inside, can you help?' maybe? Not a chance, nope.

"Hyung?"

My body startled, head whipping towards the side to meet Changbin and his curious gaze on my form, cute, little, round ears twitching in curiosity. I lowered my own ears, embarrassed, not knowing what to say.

Instead of the familiar question of 'Is everything alright?', he just walked towards me -oh he had lighter clothes on, he was probably on his way to train- and knocked on the door. 

Right in front of my frozen face.

Before I could even voice my worry and confusion, he left my panicked form with two hefty pats on my shoulder and a wink. I stepped towards him, mouth open, arms ready to grasp at him–

"Hyung?"

Ah shit.

I immediately closed my mouth, arms falling limply back to my sides as I didn't know how to face the younger. I rubbed at my nape nervously -a habit i had picked up from the wolf accidentally-, looking at the ground. The sweet scent in the air calmed me slightly, just enough to stop me from bolting away in embarrassment.

"What are you doing up so early?" - Felix asked as he rubbed at one of his eyes, voice hoarse and filled with slumber.

"...couldn't sleep."

A soft 'oh' left his mouth, the soft rustling of socks against wood filling the air.

Turning around I saw he had stepped aside, silently inviting me into his room. I felt the other hybrid sooner than I saw him, Chan's form laying on the bed peacefully, still deeply asleep.

I quietly stepped in, the door closing with a soft click behind me. My eyes struggled to adjust to the sudden darkness as I blinked several times, the shuffling form of the young boy soon clear in the room.

He went back to bed and looked at me, a silent question sitting in his gaze. I shook my head, opting to instead sit in his squishy chair that sat on the ground in a corner.

No other word was uttered, but the silence was comfortable. Like a soft fabric of comfort as it lulled us back to sleep -oh, just like a blanket, i get it now-.

I stared at the dark ceiling for a while, the soft snores of the others filling my ears. Soon enough my eyelids felt heavy, consciousness drifting away into the land of dreams and peace. The empty feeling settled down a bit, its presence now only at the back of my mind.

-.-

Soft murmurs woke me up, the room feeling warm and comforting. The scent of a pine forest mixed with sugar wafted in the air; it curled around me like a comforting presence, bringing a small smile to my lips.

The murmurs stopped and I stretched out, head popping up from the squishy chair to look at the two males on the bed.

Chan had a phone in his lowering hand with a smile plastered onto his face, while Felix just giggled, waving at me.

"Good morning baby. How was your sleep?" - the wolf's pleasant voice asked, deeper than usual as sleep still clung to it slightly.

I only nodded back, hand still rubbing the sleep from my eyes with little success.

"I still can't believe how you can just fit on that bean bag like that. And you even looked like you had the best sleep in the whole house!" - laughed out Felix as my cheeks felt a tad bit hotter at his comment. "I think it's cute, but do come sit with us, it's comfier up here." - Chan cooed, hand patting the blanket near him.

My lips pursed, ears tilting slightly behind, but I complied and sat at the end of the bed, gaze not meeting their forms as my cheeks still felt warm.

"How’s your arm, baby?"

I looked at the limb in question, the cast weighing it down. My lips turned down at the mere thought of it. I found the thing incredibly annoying and frustrating. I couldn't do things freely as it sat heavily there and I couldn't even enjoy baths anymore like how I used to -fully submerged in water-. This stupid thing was driving me nuts.

"Irritating. When can it be free?" - my husky voice answered, slightly better sounding from the little talking I had done lately.

"Ah, the doc did say it should be checked on again soon." "Yep, today to be exact."

My eyes widened as I whipped my head towards Chan, form tensing. Before I could do anything more, he held up his hands and explained in panic.

"No, no, don't worry, it will be different. He will only come in a few hours and you can choose to take some calming medicine or not. The choice is up to you entirely. The doc only needs to check how you are healing and if everything's good, he might even be able to take your cast off."

Looking into their eyes, I could only see sincerity. My form relaxed a bit, mind running around with choices.

I really didn't want to meet a human, but the chance to get this thing off was too great to ignore.

Fuck.

Sighing, I slowly nodded.

Their expressions eased up at that, the little leopard hovering his hand above mine. I didn't move away, the void in my chest happy as the feline gently grasped onto my limb.

The atmosphere settled back into its previous serene self, the two hybrids chatting calmly with each other. I had to give credit to them, they tried their best to get me involved as well so I gave them short answers, my hurting throat letting me do only so much.

As I watched them animatedly speak I caught a whiff of a savoury scent in the air, my stomach gently gurgling in response. The two chuckled at that, but I cared not as I stood up and waited for them by the door.

"Yes yes, we’re coming." - said the wolf, his tone light and teasing.

The leopard bundled up next to me energetically, his spotted tail playfully curling around in place as we waited for the older canine.

Finally gathered together, I opened the door and hastily walked into the big room from the hallway, Minho's back facing us.

The others greeted each other loudly and sat at the table to chat, all the while I made my way to the cooking cat, hovering behind his busy form like usual.

I could hear the others whisper about us, about me, things like 'He looks so cute, like a lost puppy following its parent.', but it didn't bother me at the moment. I was too busy watching Minho work his magic, the air smelling delicious.

His hands worked precisely with the knife, ingredients cut perfectly into the shapes he desired. The pans and pots were filled up and moved over the fire, then quickly pulled off once their contents were ready and done. He danced around the kitchen with scary efficiency, hands knowing exactly where to reach for certain ingredients or equipment.

Being done, he plated the food and asked me to help bring them over to the table, so I did. I must have been too absorbed in watching the chestnut-haired feline work, because Changbin was already back at the table in a fresh set of clothes, the air around him smelling clean with a hint of menthol. I quickly greeted him with an apology as well, but he just shrugged it aside calmly, saying it was fine.

Leaving it at that, I put the plates down and sat in my place, the colourful presence of the medicines not escaping my gaze. They sat there beside my glass of water clearly, forms not hidden at all.

I really did have the choice.

My working hand clenched around itself, my jaw firm. While the medicine did remind me of the past, it also did not. The ones they used were plain, usually white or worse, in the form of an injection. These ones were yellow and red, colours blaringly loud and playful in a way.

Turning my gaze towards the warm food, I forced my body to relax a bit, wanting to focus on eating as I rethought my choices and decision.

My ears turned towards whoever was speaking -more like shouting and bickering- as I ate , a silent participant of the conversation. I was much more comfortable just seeing them fool around, stealing each other's food -never mine though, how strange- and laughing around like fools.

Happy fools.

The chopsticks gently clanked against the plate as I finished eating. My hands played with the pills before quickly popping them into my mouth, forcing them down with some water.

The effect wasn't immediate at all, no, that was instead the silence as the others stared at me. I just raised an eyebrow at that, not understanding, since they were the ones who put them there.

"Ooh, this will be interesting." - Minho said with a smirk crawling onto his lips, hand already equipping his phone. "No!" - I shouted, reaching over but missing as he moved the object away way too quickly.

I quickly stood up to reach his hand better, but the walls were already moving and my balance was shifting rapidly. I held my head, groaning, the eye I didn't cover up shifting as the world around me moved and writhed.

I quickly sat back down, a curse leaving my lips as I just laid my forehead on the table, covering my head up with my arms.

"Hyung, you're fine. Don't hide." - sang the deep voice of Felix. I merely tightened my hold, not trusting what came out of my mouth as my head started filling up with cotton, judgement already starting to leave my form.

"Felix, you know well enough that's a lie." - snickered Minho at my expense. "Yes, but come on mate! Don't be such a meanie!" "Oh I’m not. I would be, if I put these videos up onto the internet. Now that I say it, that’s a good idea." "Guys, calm down. Nobody puts anything anywhere.  Sigh  I worded that wrong…"

Amidst the chaos, I looked up and searched for the only quiet person, asking him for help with the last of my coherent thoughts. "Don't look at me, I quite enjoyed how you praised my biceps last time." That was his only answer with a big grin, cheeks splitting apart from the bright smile that sat upon his face. What a menace.

I let my head fall back against the table, the cutlery clanking loudly against each other and partly masking the groan that left my lips. The pressure it brought to my skull did little to help with the ache and numbness.

There it was, the fog over my brain, the disgustingly good mood taking control over the place against my wishes.

I looked up from the table, chin propped up on it as my eyes followed the swirling patterns in the room, various shapes drawing out in them with every passing second. Someone ruffled my hair, the action earning a delighted sound from my throat, tail swaying happily behind me.

Looking around after taking a deep breath that drew a small smile on my face, I saw the others standing up and leaving towards the sofa. Not wanting to be left out, I followed them, falling onto Binnie who laid on the plush surface. He laughed and wiggled around until he found a comfortable enough position with me laying on top of his much smaller form.

Our legs were picked up and placed onto Minho's lap, while Chan and Felix sat on his other side, all snuggled up. I could feel a tickling sensation on my foot, causing me to wiggle around and whine. The perpetrator -Chan, of course it was him- only giggled, not leaving my poor feet alone for a good minute or so. Felix joined in at some point, that little weasel.

After having recovered from the impromptu tickle session, I relaxed back into a comfortable position -to my defence, Binnie was surprisingly comfortable-. My tail laxly laid on the chocolate-coated feline's knees, twitching as he put a hand on the back of my knee. I thought nothing of it and buried my head into Binnie's chest, the position dangerously pleasant.

Lino's hand kept moving upwards throughout the movie, now resting on my thigh. I flicked up my tail in warning, his hand stopping in place.

A blaring sound rang throughout the house, one I was vaguely familiar with.

Sniffing the air, I picked up a human's scent and my fogged up mind reminded me that the doctor had arrived at last. I completely forgot about it in the euphoria of the moment.

Feeling the hybrid shifting around under me, I tightened my hold, not wanting to get up just yet. Or at all, really.

"Bae hyung, you have to get up. The doctor's here." "Well he can check me over like this."

Laughter filled the place as Binnie sputtered, but settled back down nonetheless. Pink dusted his cheeks, round little ears lowered in embarrassment and I couldn’t help myself, I just had to reach up and pet one of them. Just for a little bit.

Sure enough, the doctor didn't put up a fight when he saw my hold on the buff male. He checked as much as he could of my injuries, my shirt pushed up to my neck as he prodded around on my back. I only felt numb pulling sometimes, something cool spreading around my skin, the air not hitting it anymore as something was placed on top of it at several places. 

But then the human asked me to sit up and my serene mood was broken, Binnie's hand stopping from painting soft circles into my arm. I simply turned my head away, not willing to change positions.

"Baby, come here."

At that soothing voice I looked up, seeing Channie pat the place next to him on the sofa. I sat up after a few seconds, sitting where he wanted me to and leaning into him.

The doctor followed my form and first looked at my head. It was uncomfortable to have him so near me, to have him push my hair away slightly. Doing something similar to what he did to my back, he then asked me to open my mouth. I furrowed my brows, but complied anyway.

If him prodding around my head was uncomfortable, this was straight up hell. He looked down my throat and even touched around my neck, checking my reactions. The only reason I stayed put with a frown was because of Channie and Felix with their small, encouraging gestures.

"Keep up what you've been doing so far, his throat is looking a bit better. Given time, it can completely recover." - the human said, earning a few 'Okay's from the others.

Then the human took my heavy arm in his hands, asking questions like 'Does it hurt?' or 'Is it uncomfortable?'. I shook my head in answer, the thing on it only annoying and binding.

In the next second the wolf led my head into his neck, careful fingers carding through my hair, as my sight was obstructed now. The notion was sudden, but I relished in it nonetheless.

A weird sound filled the air as I felt things shift around my arm, but I was too comfortable to move or care. His scent filled my being and I could feel my form running around in the moss covered trees, dirt kicking up beneath my paws. It felt freeing, as if I had nothing to worry about.

"There, his arm is completely healed and as good as new. But to be safe, make sure he doesn't use it as much for the next week." "Thank you doctor, we will make sure to do so." - his voice hummed through his throat pleasantly in response. "Don't be so uptight boys, I don't bite. You can be casual around me if you want to, you already know that." - the human joked around, some of the others joining in.

"Ah, but we do need to do what we talked about last time. Could you…?"

The human trailed off and so did the soothing motion from the wolf. I lifted my head up from his shoulder, confusedly looking at him with my swimming vision.

"Ah, don't worry baby, everything is fine. Why don't you sit in my lap, that way you don't have to twist your torso around so uncomfortably."

He did have a point, so my fogged up, elated mind happily agreed and did as he asked. I crawled into his awaiting embrace, body sideways, one leg propped up and squished between our bodies. My back hunched and bent so I could rest my head near his neck once again, but even with all of that, it was comfortable.

Safe.

One of his hands held my back firmly, the other resuming the soothing motion on my head. I was vaguely aware of my tail happily wagging around, the others settling down around us as well.

I buried my head deeper into his neck, their scents dancing around in my nose and enhancing my drugged up state.

I felt one of my sleeves shift, a prickling sensation on my skin. Something poked around in my mind, telling me it was awfully familiar, but I didn't know why, the fog too obstructing. Nonetheless, I wanted to check it out but as my head shifted, so did Channie's hold on me.

It tightened slightly, desperately, the forest now damp and in disarray.

I didn't like that at all, so I laid back down as I ignored the second sting on my arm, the forest’s scent settling down slowly.

It took around 6 stings and for my tail to stop swaying for the doctor to finish.

"Alright boys, I will come back in a month to finish this up and check if his back and head is still healing fine. So far he’s healing up incredibly fast and nothing seems wrong, so don't worry. If something comes up, you know how to reach me."

They all thanked him and exchanged goodbyes, everyone escorting the human away except Channie, as I was still laying in his hold calmly.

My body felt a bit sluggish, consciousness trying to dip away as I had to jank it back forcefully, not wishing to sleep just yet. Although my cosy position was not helping with that sudden exhaustion either, the safe feeling almost lulling me to sleep in itself.

"Is he asleep?" "Naur, but soon enough. The medicines must’ve really tired him out." "He seemed tired already this morning, he really needs this rest." "Ah, is that why you knocked on our door for him this morning, Binnie?" "Yeah, caught him standing there for like 3 minutes straight, staring at your door. He looked like a small kid that had a nightmare." "Wait, you guys had a sleepover and I was not invited?" "Oh come on Minho, don't do this now. Besides, you dislike them and always complain about being kicked or having your blanket stolen." "Because it's true! How would you like to wake up cold, kicked to the ground, hm?" "Oh you fucki–" "Hey, language!" "Watch your profanity!" "Oh you got the swear police on your ass now, Lixie~" "I swear to god, Minho, I will get you back for this!"

Their arguing mixed with Channie's reverberating chest pushed me over the edge, my mind plunging into darkness at last.

-.-.-

The next few days ran by as I refused to acknowledge what had happened or what I could have done while drugged out of my mind. I did notice my hand was free at least, so maybe it was all worth it. Although everyone kept a closer eye on me, not letting me use my freed up hand much. Or at all, really.

It was stifling.

But it was also weird. Foreign. I was alone for so long, I had forgotten what it felt like to have people beside you. People who cared about you. So as frustrating as it was, I only sighed deeply and followed their wishes.

Besides, the wolf was the one who had been watching me the closest, and I did not want to anger him. The thought alone made me break out in cold sweat.

A bundle of joy broke me out of my thoughts, the little leopard stopping directly in front of me.

"Hyung, do you want to play this new game I got? Everyone else declined, only giving me lame excuses."

Awh, he pouted.

I simply nodded with a small smile, letting his overjoyed self lead me out by my 'good' hand.

"Lix, he can't really use his hand, mate!" - Chan shouted from the kitchen. "No worries, it's a wii game, it can be played with only one hand!" - shouted back the blonde, my ears hurting from the loud voice. "Ah, sorry, I forgot." - he immediately whispered to me, guilt taking over his features.

I simply shook my head, grating out an 'It's fine.' in the process.

Soon enough I found myself in his room -he always shared it with someone, but so did the others, i noticed, as they often slept in a big pile of limbs all together-, instructed to sit on his bed while he got this 'game' thing set up. I had no clue what it was, but he looked so happy about it I just couldn't say no to him.

He plopped down next to me, a thing similar to the remote sat in his hands, eyes facing towards the TV in his room. Looking at it, the colours stopped shifting and some music started playing.

Lixie turned towards me, the smile on his face seemingly endless as he started pointing out the different parts of this remote. What 'button' did what and so on. I nodded along, trying my best to remember the onslaught of information.

Then, he pressed START and the 'game' began.

-.-

"Nooooooo, how’s this possible?? You just learned what a video game is 3 hours ago and you already beat me 11 times in a row! Hyung, you're cheating!" - the boy pouted, absolutely losing his mind over the situation. "... Sorry?" "That just makes it even worse, you didn't even do it on purpose! Aaagh, damn it!"

The cute leopard held his hair in frustration, angry little noises leaving his smaller form. His spotted tail was lashing out, but still playful to indicate his hidden mood.

He was adorable, I wanted to hug him.

My form froze, muscles tense.

What did I just think about?

Looking back at the young boy's form, the same urge bubbled up now tenfold. 

I gulped.

It would be fine.

He was not them, nor him.

He was just Lixie, my sunshine and comforting light.

Yes, it would be fine. I… would be fine.

My shaking hands slowly rose, snaking their way towards the boy sitting slightly in front of me. They grabbed onto his thin -way too thin- waist and slowly dragged him into my chest, arms locking him in place gently. His sputtering and shouting died midway, form utterly tense and frozen.

Maybe he didn't like it.

I panicked, arms quickly unwinding, but before I could fully detach myself, he laid back into me with all his weight, quiet little purrs reverberating in his chest. His tail coiled around one of my legs, a silent disagreement against my doubts.

It was fine.

I was fine.

So, I carefully tightened my hold on him with slightly shaking arms, one of them finding its way into his golden locks, numbly playing with them as a distraction. God, they were incredibly smooth and silky, my fingers sailing through them easily. The purrs only strengthened, the notion calming and reassuring, filling up the void residing in my chest rapidly at last.

We just laid there even as the feline's breathing slowed, soft snores breaking his neverending purring. Even as my eyelids felt heavy and my body laid against the upper part of the bed, I fought fruitlessly against sleep.

I wanted to enjoy the moment just a bit longer.

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next chapter

[historia-vitae-magistras]

I know Matthew plays hockey, but does he ever want to just give up whatever his government job is and take playing hockey to the olympics or at least pro level? I mean it's got to be more fun than whatever secretarial, front man type corporate job he normally has to deal with when working with the gov right? Or maybe getting into farming or something. I dont know, he just seems like someone who'd eventually just lose his shit if he had to be stuck in an office for too long.

I honestly think most of his time in any government post is like the twice-a-decade he gives enough fucks to be involved. Like, what is he going to do in an office? Stamp government documents? Approve things? He's fucken useless in that environment. I think a couple of times he's said fuck it, started over and played pro hockey or Olympic hokey. He's not the only one and probably smashed some faces in. Alfred or Arthur had to help wipe and reset his identity because inventing a whole new set of documents is much more complicated nowadays than 100 years ago, but he's played and then faded into the background. He probably gets away with that more than a lot of nations can. Nice combo privilege of big bro's military-industrial complex and his own insignificance.

I've had him in the parks service as a bootlegger, a sailor, a ships carpenter, a diplomat, a firefighter, a medic, a search and rescue medic, especially a hockey coach, and a hockey player. I'm not about to write shit about people working in an office if I'm candid. I also think he drew a veterans pension for 110 years before the government. "hey wait, the last Canadian World War One vet died 10 years ago."

And as far as money goes. I think he and Alfred got their savings wiped in the 1930s, and Matt kept himself afloat via good ol' imperial nepotism via the old fart while Alfred was on his own since WW2; Matt's financial well-being has been so tied into Alfred's. I had an economics manager who joked that when the US economy stumbles, Canada breaks its neck so there's some fuckery there, but let's be honest; Matt just occasionally gives Alfred the 'you have hurt my feelings' eyes and gets what he wants and like 500 apologies.

When I look at Alfred, I see someone who likes to work when it's something he's interested in. But Matt... always struck me as a bit French. Not that we don't work hard, but Matt hit the "they pretend to pay me, so I pretend to work' attitude sometime in the '70s. And he's half insane? Like man's wandering around the woods half feral for months on end in at least one of my timelines. He comes back needing anti-parasite meds, three kinds of antibiotics and Alfred going over his checkbook like 'what the fuck did you do with your dividend this time?" Like Afred's his own kind of batshit, but he's got a good head for numbers on his shoulders.

But yeah, the best way to keep him human is to let him do shit that actually appeals and keeps the depresso level below catastrophic so hockey, forestry, etc. Working in an office in Ottawa happens but it's rare, and when it goes on too long in tandem with being as lonely as he can be with only one major border, he ends up missing half his humanity and eating raw raccoon liver in the woods. Letting him slapshot Ivan in the face at the Olympics every now and again is good for the budget lmao.