#merlin fashion series

[cowlovely]

okay! so. i’ve seen many people online say multiple times that the deleted scene of arthur giving merlin his mother’s sigil—

(you know, this one👇)

is essentially a medieval proposal, and that that’s probably the reason why the scene was cut. i’ve never really thought that much of it, but coming across the comment again earlier today, it made me wonder if it was actually historically accurate at all.

the short answer is no, but the long answer is a little bit more complex.

i spent about an hour or so combing through articles and other online resources, and couldn’t find a single source vouching for sigils/seals being used as a way to propose. i did, however, find these two pieces of information:

which make it clear that sigils/seals and signet rings reflect the same meaning and purpose, and that inheriting one signifies family ties and marks you above common men. signet rings were sometimes used as engagement rings (in fact, the ring arthur gives gwen in the series is a signet ring with his father’s sigil), but engagement rings were more commonly ornate gold bands set with precious stones like sapphires or rubies.

but! regardless of the fact that it isn’t technically a medieval way of proposing, i think you can still regard it as such, given the fact that it is essentially marking merlin as arthur’s family (his mother’s side no less!), and that arthur proposed to gwen in nearly the same fashion with the signet ring. i rest my case ✌️

[oneknightstand-if]

Another episode of ask the ROs by a questionable Mc :

"Would you marry me?"

♡offers flowers and an access to life full of nonsense and hugs♡

That's going to depend upon the relationship status and the point in the timeline regarding what kind of reactions the MC would garner here. Assuming a romanced RO towards the end of the series...

Note: Some of these are lies.

Merlin: Has the apocalypse ended in an non-cataclysmic fashion? Then they're already in their wedding dress/tux. 👰 Otherwise too busy apocalypsing for that.

Adrian: Did you successfully complete his subplot? If yes, he'll agree... although you might need reassure him a few hundred times that this is really what you want. If not, Do not pass GO, do not collect $200.

Arthur: He's not the type to get married after a couple of months... especially not with the responsibilities that his spouse would have. You'll have to take it slowly here, MC.

Percy: He might've accidentally proposed to you already. Several of the other ROs have been assuming you were married for awhile.

4̷0̷4̴ ̶E̶r̷r̷o̶r̷ ̸N̷o̴t̸ ̴F̷o̴u̵n̷d̴: REALLY?! Uh... maybe in a couple years to indulge the MC, but certainly not by the end of the series.

Cassandra: Did you successfully complete her subplot? If not, Do not pass GO, do not collect $200. Otherwise, she'd be up for that once things have settled down if you [DATA EXPUNGED]

Gwen: She's probably been dropping hints the entire time during the apocalypse. Heck, she probably already proposed to the MC herself at this point.

Vivian: She's going to need to hear the exact terms of this contract. Warning: Marrying a fae can have unexpected side effects.

Lorelei: Did you successfully complete her subplot? Is anyone hearing an echo in here? Once everything has settled down in the series epilogue, she'd definitely accept, but it'd have to be a long-term engagement.

Broderick:

[draco-dormiens]

THE STRANGEST OF PLACES - Chapter Twenty

draco x fem!ravenclaw reader / postwar au series

warnings: swearing, angst, description of an injury, sleep problems, heartbreak, self depreciation

wc: 4400

masterlist

taglist is now closed - i’ve officially run out of tags! thank you all ♡

Chapter Twenty: The Malfoys, The Greengrasses and The Girl Inbetween

Draco wakes with a numb feeling, a few blissful moments of nothingness in his mind until the throb of his knuckles piece the evening back together. He looks down himself, realising he was still in his shirt, his white and green satin bed sheets now stained with blood from the cuts on his hand. He grumbles softly, muttering how he must have just fallen asleep, exhausted from such an eventful night. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he remembers, from start to finish, just how bad last night went. He runs his hand through his hair, momentarily forgetting about the damage he had done. Hissing from the sudden strike of pain in his fingers, he looks over the spectacularly purple bruise forming over his pale skin.

"Shit," he mutters to himself. His head was pounding from the constant pressure. Draco tried to picture the events as they unfolded, but the one thing he could not forget was his mother's scheming. The fury he felt began to bubble once more as he made his way to the sink of his private bathroom, washing the cuts with warm water, biting his bottom lip to stand the pain. He hadn't realised how hard he hit the cold stone. It was surprising that he hadn't broken anything. Dabbing his hand gently with a soft flannel, he made his way back to his bed to find the box of first aid underneath it. As a lover of potions and brewing things, Draco often dabbled in medicine whilst he was home. It was time he could be alone, away from his parents and their insufferable need to redeem themselves. The manor's garden was home to some fascinating plants, many of which had healing properties, and Draco whipped up a salve for things such as cuts and bruises one afternoon when his parents were away. It worked wonders, but in typical Draco fashion, he kept his little invention to himself. Being as gentle as he could, he smeared some of the cloudy white paste over the cuts, bracing for the sting. Once that was done, he lay back down, still in his shirt from the night before. 

As the salve did it's job, he began to think of you, of course. He wonders if you got any sleep last night, what you might be doing right at this moment, and if you were just as confused as he was. The taste of you was enough to make him feral, the feeling of your body against his, the way your mouths moulded as if missing puzzle pieces. It was all so right, and then Pansy walked in, knowing exactly what she was doing. He places his good hand over his eyes, wishing to Merlin she was just a bad dream, but Pansy had in fact seen him embracing you, and now he had to make sure she kept her sour face shut. He thinks on it, wonders why it's so important to him to keep his true feelings from his mother, and then realises how messed it up all seems. Draco had become so accustomed to being controlled, his initial reaction was to make Pansy swear not to speak a word, even though his heart has promised itself to someone else.

But Astoria's words rang true in his mind.

There was little time, it would seem, for the two of you to remain close. Since his parents had been in cahoots with Astoria's, it was very much looking like the rest of his life had been arranged for him. How convenient, he thinks sarcastically. Time was not on his side, and neither was anyone else, for that matter. Only you. The one person he had to tear himself away from. With effort, he rises from the bed to sit at the edge again, a solemn, sinking feeling setting in as he comes to realise what he must do next. Draco felt so helpless, so lost, and most of all, cowardly. Then he thinks to himself, if the tables turned, would you be brave enough to defy your parents for what your heart wants?

He thinks the answer is yes. He is simply, as everyone has always thought, a coward. A hopeless, spineless coward. 

After some difficulty, with his head feeling as heavy as lead and his hand throbbing like it was constantly tied up in twine, he showered and felt a little more human after it. Breakfast was long over, of course, but the real feast was in the kitchen. He heads towards it, as a familiar brown haired girl rushes past him, head down and sniffling. It takes him a second to register that it was in fact Astoria, but when he turns to ask if everything was alright, she had disappeared. Thinking better of getting in her business, he continues to the kitchen, as Astoria hides behind a suit of armour to avoid speaking to him. She peers after him, a pang of guilt in her chest. 

Draco helps himself, thinking how you would scold him if he hadn't eaten, and then makes his way towards Ravenclaw tower. Surely, that's where you will be. If not, Granger was his back up. He wasn't sure what he would say yet, he just wanted to see you for now. Halfway there and the nerves set in. It would be the first time you had spoken since that kiss. He tries and fails to make a fist in an attempt to ease some of the pressure. Up ahead he sees the giant wooden doors that lead to the stairs heading up to Ravenclaw tower. Of course, he cannot walk through it, but was willing to wait until a cooperative Ravenclaw wanders by. He'd stood, perhaps half an hour or more, when the door creaks open, and out walks a sixth year. 

"Excuse me," he calls after her, and the look in her face is extremely cautious once she realised who was speaking to her, "do you know if Y/N Y/L/N is around?"

She observes him carefully before answering.

"And if she is?" the girl answers, looking ready to defend you if necessary. The look in her eyes is rather cold, as if she was angry at him for some reason. 

"I'd like to speak with her," Draco responds politely, "would you be able to collect her for me?"

The girl scoffs bitterly.

"I think not," she raises an eyebrow knowingly, "she's very upset right now."

Upset. Draco's protectiveness kicks in immediately.

"Who upset her?," Draco's voice lowers an octave, "was it Chambers?"

The girl seems to ease up a little when the concern he's displaying seems genuine. She sighs.

"She's inside, but I doubt she'll want to see you," the girl says, "she's locked herself in her dorm room. Best to wait until she's ready to face the world."

She turns to leave.

"Wait," Draco calls once more, and the girl stops to spin in his direction, "can you at least pass on a message for me? Please?"

The evening rolled by achingly slow. You were sure your body had become somewhat numb, unable to feel a single thing. Astoria's words circled your mind, over and over again, the way she begged you to put an end to your relationship with Draco. All your tears had been spent when the room finally darkened to the point you needed candle light to see. You lit a few lamps, and then sat on the edge of the bed. You had pondered for some time about Astoria's plea, and if you were willing enough to believe her story, and even more willing to do what she said needs to be done. You would like to think it was for the greater good, but then something nasty tells you that she just wants you out of the picture. Either way, what was to come seemed inevitable, and you had no power to stop it. Standing, you move to look in the vanity mirror, wiping your cheeks of dried tears and then splashed cold water on your face in the bathroom sink. Once you looked a little less lifeless, you figured you should do something about the ever growing grumble in your stomach when a very soft knock came from your door. Upon opening it slightly, you see Emilie standing there, looking a little sheepish.

"Emilie," you croak, and then immediately clear your throat, "can I help you?"

"Well, I was going to wait until I saw you, but you never left your room," she says, giving you a thin smile, "I ran into someone on my walk, and they asked me to give you a message." She hands you a small piece of folded parchment, and you take it from her gingerly. Emilie takes your prolonged silence as a cue to leave you be, "I guess I'll see you around. Night, Y/N."

You heard her footsteps retreating, but your eyes were on the folded paper. "Thanks," you mumble, and then close the door, ultimately locking out the cold corridor air. You lean against it as you unfold the secretive little note, to see very familiar writing.

I think we need to talk. I'll be in the little wood outside of school tonight at 7. 

Makes a change, right? 

D x

The last few tears trickle down your cheeks as a weak smile graces your features.

Just outside of Hogwarts was a small wood. Not the Forbidden Forest, just a small, unassuming group of trees that stood firmly in place. Pine trees, you believed. You could smell them from a mile away, and as you edged ever closer to the wood edge, your chest felt tighter with each step. Why he had chosen this location, you were unsure, but when the trees came closer, you could see a little flicker of light. Gut instinct told you to follow it, and so you did. As the small flicker of orange light grew larger against the thick tree trunks, a clearing came in to view, and there you saw a blanket on the ground, a few candles, and Draco at the centre. He looks up when he hears footsteps, a giant smile across his pretty face.

"Hi," he says, standing, "I'm so glad you made it."

"Hi," you repeat back, looking a little awestruck at the view, "what's all this for?"

Draco swallowed thickly. Since you locked yourself away for the day, it had bought him some time to think about what to do. He decided that if he was to be wed to Astoria, then he was going to be selfish. He was going to spend one more night with you, and he didn't care how self centered he seemed. 

"I just thought we deserved some quiet time, away from everything," said Draco, crossing the small space to stand before you, "to be together."

"I-I don't understand," you stutter, "I thought you wanted to talk... about, you know."

He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Well, yeah, but I just figured this was nice," he mumbles, then clears his throat, "but, uh, yeah we probably should. What, uh, part do you want to talk about?"

"Are you serious?" you spit, not intending to sound so cruel, "how about the fact we kissed and Pansy walked in on us? Or how about Astoria, she's a big topic as of late."

Draco sighs, throwing his head back and closing his eyes.

"I don't want to argue with you," he said wearily, "I only wanted to have a nice evening together."

You feel slightly guilty. He's laid out such a nice area for you, lit candles, chosen a fluffy blanket for you to sit on. Maybe it can wait...

"Sorry," you mumble, and he returns his gaze to you, "a lot going on at the moment."

He moves to brush his fingers over your hand. You allow him. His fingertips send jolts through your body, and you ache to feel his touch once more. He takes your hand in his, squeezing lightly, as your eyes lock. He's so handsome, with the dim light framing one side of his face. You squeeze back, as he leads you over to the blanket, gesturing for you to sit. You do so, and he joins, as close as he can get. Once more he takes your hand in his, and you notice briefly how he keeps the other hand covered by his sleeve. He begins to draw comforting circles against your skin. It was quiet, until his soft voice broke through the pleasant evening air. 

"That kiss," he whispers, and you look up at him, his face dangerously close, "meant everything to me, you mean everything to me."

"Draco-"

"Please, just," he stops you, biting his tongue before speaking again, "let me say this. I need to."

You remain quiet.

"You're the first real friend I've ever made," he goes on, and you feel the very last string in your heart snap, "and the first girl that, well, that I've..." he hesitates, looking at you for reassurance. You want to hear it, of course you do, but with the near future and Astoria lurking over you like a bad omen, you couldn't allow yourself to hear it. You fear it may be the straw that finally breaks the camel's back.

"Don't," you croak, and his eyes fill with both hurt and confusion, "don't, Draco. You can't say it."

"I know," his grips tightens, and you can almost feel the fury radiating off him, "but I need to, before-"

"Draco," you say in utter seriousness, standing up from his embrace. You can't look at him, the face you had been dreading was staring right back at you. You weren't ready for it to happen so quickly, but fate had decided on this moment, "you don't need to explain. I know what's going to happen. Astoria has told me everything."

"Huh?" he sounds, now standing to try and face you. You abruptly turn away, "told you what, exactly? Did she upset you? Is that why you were in your room all day?"

You stifle a sob into your jacket sleeve, and took a deep breath before facing him. His eyes were calling for you, begging for you to come closer. It was a pain you wish to never feel again.

"I know about the dinner, the engagement, everything," you mutter miserably, "it's too late, Draco. We've run out of time."

He goes to speak but seems lost for words. His eyes are glossy against the orange hew of the candles. Such a pretty place for such a solemn conversation. Draco wasn't ready either, he hadn't thought it through. He was perhaps being a little naive for thinking he could have one more night with you, but there were no words coming to him. No way of telling you he could no longer be in your life. It was breaking him, but hearing it come from you seemed to break him more than anything ever could. 

"I see," he breathes, "you don't wish to spend another moment with me, do you?"

"That's not it, Draco," you cry softly, "I'd spend every waking moment with you, but I am not the women for you, we've known that from the very beginning. Don't act like you thought things would change... we always knew, didn't we?"

"So, that's it, then?" he snaps, "you don't even want to say goodbye? Have one more moment together, after everything?"

"What's the point?" you stress, feeling like your body might collapse under the weight of your melancholia, "I can't take it anymore, Draco. I can't. I can't keep dragging this out just for the heartache to hurt even more. After seeing Astoria... I... I'm done, Draco."

He chokes on his own sob, but quickly stifles it. He hadn't prepared himself for what it would feel like when he finally lost you, but it had driven him to a dark place in his mind, and when he wanted to, Draco could cut to the bone. Right to the bone.

"Fuck it, then," he spits nastially, "I don't even know why I did all this shit," he launches the blanket and furiously kicks the candles as far as possible, "I really thought we'd at least get a nice goodbye, you know? But fuck me, right? Fuck all of this. And fuck you, Y/N. As if this is how you want to leave things."

"Draco, please," you sob.

"No, it's done. You've made it clear. Just go." He turns from you, rage filling every crevice of his body. He feels like he might implode. The hurt he feels is like nothing he's ever experienced before, and he wants to rip it out of his chest and stomp all over it. 

If this is love, he doesn't want it.

You remain quiet for a moment, looking around at the destroyed evening. It wouldn't be right for you to entertain it, that's what you tell yourself. Draco is heaving, you can see from how rapidly his shoulders rise and fall. The ache in you is unbearable.

"I will cherish you," you then mutter, not knowing if any words will give him peace, but you try anyway, "always. Take care of yourself, Draco."

You couldn't stand it another minute, and dash before he can say anymore. It was done. You'd cut the tie, and along with it severed every piece of hope you had. As you climb the hill back to the castle, tears trickle down your face silently. You had nothing left to feel now, all you had was the empty void Draco left behind. Empty, hollow and broken, you head for the solitude of the same four walls you had seen all day. When Draco finally turns, you're not there, and the forest is now dark and lonely.

Just like he's always destined to be. 

One month passes.

He wakes in a sweat for the fourth time that week. Ever since you left the woods that night, Draco suffers the same recurring nightmare. He's watching through a window, as you marry a faceless man. He's shouting, banging his fists against the glass, but no one hears him. Not even you, and as the unknown man leans in to kiss you Draco wakes, shooting up in his bed, dripping with sweat. Then, your soft, sad voice trickles back in; I will cherish you, always, and he lets out the most awful sob. His heart was breaking, every day, every minute, every hour. Every time he saw you across a room, the hall, the corridor, the courtyard. He broke a little more each time. 

And he could see it in your face too.

He was so foul to you. Said such awful things, and now he can never take it back. He can never make it right. When his alarm clock blares not only a few hours after his last nightmare, he slams his fist down on to it, cracking it slightly. He has no desire to show up for his exam today, but he has to. His education is the only thing he's ever had control over, and he needed it to get a good job and make his own money. He drags himself, like he has every morning since, to his private bathroom to see the delightfully dark circles under his eyes. He makes little effort, throwing on whatever he can find. The letter his mother sent regarding the engagement sits on his desk, opened, with a little velvet box next to it. Inside sits a stunningly silver ring, with a huge green emerald embedded within it. A family heirloom, and worth a small estate, it sits waiting to be placed on Astoria Greengrass's finger in a few weeks time. Draco avoids even touching it. Astoria accompanies him to most exams now, and he doesn't quarrel about it. He simply lets her talk. Sometimes you sit the same exam, and when you're sitting in front of him, he spends more time ogling the back of your head than he does writing answers. 

He skips all meal times, and only goes to the kitchens late. He doesn't spend time outside the common room unless he absolutely has to, and only turns up for Quidditch practice and matches. He doesn't look for you in the crowd, he doesn't get his hopes up. Draco lives for whatever is planned for him and nothing else. Sleepless nights turn into sleepless days, then weeks, until he's so tried he falls asleep at his desk studying. He doesn't even know how he gets through exams, he just drinks barrels of coffee and hopes for the best, drowns himself in Quidditch practice and spends as much time whizzing around the field as he can. McGonagall has offered him some time to talk, but Draco refused politely. Even she can see he's a shell now. 

Hermione tries to coax you out of your dorm after exams. She asks you to the tearoom in Hogsmeade, she asks you to play chess, even just a walk. Each time you decline politely and crawl under your covers, or sit and study at your desk until your hand aches from writing. You, too, have the same recurring nightmare, but instead it's you watching Draco live his life with Astoria as his wife. You go to meals to satisfy Hermione that you're eating, but longly look at the place he always used to sit. You watch Astoria with her friends, and refuse to smile back at her. You go to your exams and go back to your dorm. That's all you have the energy for. That's all that's worth doing lately. Every night before you sleep you hear Draco's harsh words, see him turning away from you as you broke him one final time. And, to top it all off, you've been invited to Ron's for a pre graduation dinner at the same time Draco is proposing to Astoria. How on earth you were supposed to sit through that, you had no idea, but you were determined to try for Hermione's sake. Your parents wrote to you, having no idea what was going on, and you replied like everything was rosey. You zone out in the library, dread seeing him at examinations, and sob into your pillow so much you need a new pillowcase. 

Nothing is right, everything is wrong, and the storm outside your bedroom window rages on and on and on as you scribble notes on parchment. This whole time you've only ever been the girl in the middle. The Malfoys, the Greengrasses, and then you. A powerless, hopeless excuse of a fling, it would seem.

Only four weeks left until you graduate, and yet you've never felt so miserable in your whole life.

Across the castle, at the Gryffindor common room, Hermione wraps a jumper around her shoulders and heads out of the portrait hole. She marches her way down the tower, through the corridors, down and down until she reaches the dreary, dark hallways of the dungeons. She ignores the whispers of passing Slytherins, and makes a beeline for the snakes common room. When she arrives, she's met with a stone cold wall. Irritably, she sighs, and looks for any Slytherin in sight. She paces between the dimly lit corridors, an ever present dripping from the lake above driving her insane. How students live down here is beyond her. Most students wander off as she approaches, and just when she thinks her luck has run out, Malfoy enters the corridor she's wander up. He's windswept, holding his broom and looking absolutely exhausted. She runs, not wanting to shout his name, and grabs hold of his arm from behind, pulling him to the side.

"What the- Granger? What the fu-"

"Do not use that tone of voice with me, Malfoy," she tells him, her voice and eyes cold, "I'm simply here to say a few words."

"What could you possibly have to say to me?" Draco shakes his head lightly, "whatever it is, save it."

He goes to leave, but her death grip returns to his arm again.

"Four weeks," she tells him sharply, "that's all the time at Hogwarts we have left, and then we graduate."

"I'm aware of the timeline, Granger," Draco drawls. 

"Shut up and listen," she snaps at him, and his eyebrows raise, "you have four weeks before we leave here for good. Four weeks until you've run out of time to do what's right," Draco stares at her with black bags under his eyes and a complexion like a ghost, "Ron is holding a pre graduation dinner. Same day you're supposedly proposing to Greengrass. Don't look at me like that, Y/N tells me everything," she waves a dismissive hand at his sudden urge to tell her to keep out of his business, "if you have any brain cells left, you'll show up at that dinner. You've never been a coward, Draco Malfoy. Don't start now."

Hermione lets go of his arm, and her words spark something small in his chest, but it dies before it can become anything more.

"Not a coward?" he scoffs, "then why am I marrying Greengrass in a few weeks?"

"Malfoy," Hermione stresses, "turn up at that dinner. Its your last chance. If you don't, then I'll assume you've gone ahead with whatever this madness is. It's not too late. I know Y/N loves you."

She can see how thickly he swallows at those words, as if he's having trouble digesting them.

"D-did she say that?"

"She doesn't have to," Hermione smiles weakly, "and as her friend I can't bare to see her this way, especially when there's a way to fix this. You're not like them, Malfoy, you can pretend all you like but you know it too," she places a comforting hand on his arm, "I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I'm trying to help, the both of you."

For once he's thankful for her sharp tone and bossy attitude. If there was even a glimmer of hope, he wanted to take it, but after the way he left things he feared there was no way back. Not to mention how his parents might treat him. He was in far too deep now.

"Thanks, Granger," he mumbles, removing her hand from his arm gently, "but I'm in too deep. I've made my bed, right? Besides, she won't want me after how I spoke to her. Believe me. All I've ever done is run from what was right. I can't change that now."

"Malfoy-"

"Thanks for coming down here," he says as he walks away, "and if you can, please tell Y/N that I'm sorry. Not that she wants to hear it."

Hermione calls for him one last time, capturing the attention of passing students. Sharing a rather thin smile with them, she shuffles back into the wall. Maybe she had just made things worse, but she had to try. As she leaves the damp, cold atmosphere of the dungeons, she hopes, prays, that Malfoy isn't as stupid as she thinks he is. 

disclaimer: i do not own hp or any of the characters in this story

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[xreaderbooks]

The Shadows of Our Love |4|

Chapter 4 | In the Shadow of Strength

Pair: Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: language, mentions of death, nightmares, symptoms of trauma, grief

Summary: A month into 6th year, Y/n is on the brink of collapse from her own mind, someone is there to catch her as she falls...

a/n: more of a descriptive and informative chapter w/ a little crumb at the end. comment or message me if you'd like to tagged :)

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Available on Wattpad and AO3

Chapter 3 - Series Masterlist - Navigation - Chapter 5

If you weren't thinking about all that you have done, the goblins and poachers you've killed, the monsters you've faced, the friends you've lost; you were dreaming of them.

Every night since the final one where you defeated Ranrok, nightmares have plagued your mind.

It started with you jolting awake in the night, with a sweat-soaked bed, you'd forego the rest of your sleep to clean your linens.

You were, after all, staying as a guest at the Weasley home. Magic outside of Hogwarts is strictly forbidden when you are under the age of 17, therefore you had to do it the old-fashioned way. Naturally, you were a rule breaker, however, you wanted to show some modicum of respect considering the family with which you stayed is that of the Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts.

The startled sweats became increased heart palpitations that left you in bed unable to move an arm, a sort of paralysis had overcome you, your eyes stuck closed. That soon became screams and shouts and tears that would only calm when you saw the light of dawn peak through the curtains.

Unfortunately, you were in a room with several of Matilda Weasley's other nieces and nephews, thank Merlin they could sleep through a tornado, the only one whose sleep habits did not benefit them was Garreth. He was always awake, somehow always having energy despite the lack of sleep, formulating new potions.

His cheery attitude was helpful, it was odd at first, never being close to him in Hogwarts but then becoming so close he would lay in the opposite direction of you, his feet to your head and yours to his so that you would feel that there was another person present.

Until he concocted a calming draught one night out of random, and one became a ritual nightly. For once, a potion he wouldn't mess up. You could've made it yourself but he insisted. 

A month into 6th year at Hogwarts and he never failed to owl you one, or hand you one secretly in class or in the halls.

What you hadn't been able to do was wrangle your magic, the same magic powerful enough to kill anyone- within a 12-foot radius of you with a single blast.

It came at random, sometimes when you were severely overwhelmed. You supposed it had been easier to 'control' last year because you had some sort of mentor, a person you were able to talk to that you trusted to take care of you. That person was now dead, and you have no one.

The keepers were untrustworthy, to say the least, it was understandable what they did to Isidora, but who was to say they wouldn't assume the worst of you?

They were portraits, is what you tried to remind yourself, but they were keepers- keepers of all kinds of secrets, who knew what kind of fail-safes they must have in case they could've predicted a person like Isidora would come around.

You couldn't trust a soul.

Garreth knew of the nightmares, but your powers would scare anyone, hell they scared you.

You resorted to moving the animals from your original vivarium in the room of requirement to the grasslands vivarium in order to release the surges of power that had formed over weeks of keeping up with schoolwork.

Between schoolwork, the social life that you now had thanks to no more adventures, wondering where it all went wrong Sebastian, and taking care of your beast on top of learning to forget your regrets... Your ancient magic had more than enough fuel for you to burst.

And so you did, at least once a week, moving your beasts back and forth between vivariums so as not to hurt them.

You ended up spending more and more time in your room of requirement than you did in your own dorm, the room had created a bedroom for you. A cozy King sized bed with silky green covers and a fluffed comforter, in a 6 corner round room solely for sleeping.

You were able to do all but that, whenever he was around- Deek would wake you from your nightmares and make you a comforting drink for your nerves, and distract you with gossip.

He hears all that goes on in Hogwarts, with teachers, students, anyone. As a house-elf no one acknowledges him and people feel they can speak freely with the elves around and you felt lucky that Deek trusted you enough to fill you in. He was surprisingly quite the busybody.

With that though, you had begged him not to tell Professor Weasley of your nightmares. 

~~~

When October came around Quidditch tryouts were starting up, which Imelda had never failed to mention anytime she was around you, you weren't in the least bit interested.

You had too much going on, flying was useful when getting from point A to B but it wasn't your favorite thing in the world though you were talented, according to her. You would enjoy Quidditch more on the sidelines.

On another note, Sebastian fucking Sallow.

If he wasn't ignoring you in the many classes you had together, the one class where you didn't have anyone else, was the one you were forcibly paired with him. And only in that class will he deign to speak to you with rude remarks and snippy comments, it exhausted you.

A flash flew past your ear and at the closed classroom door, you were Defense against the Dark Arts, at least 30 minutes at the end of class was dedicated to practicing Non-verbals.

"Are you out of your mind?" You almost shrieked at him, "That almost stung me."

"You're out of your mind, maybe if you had been you'd be able to pay attention."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Well if you would keep up then I wouldn't have to."

You hated him, you hated that stupid smirk he held on his face, his contradictory tone, him. Ire burned throughout you and if you truly wanted to end him, he would've been six feet deep, he didn't know the favor you were doing him.

~~~

You needed to let off some steam, the room of requirement wasn't cutting it, you had made a commitment to the Headmaster and Professor Weasley to stay out of trouble this year. It was the only reason why you had kept within the castle walls for so long, it had been too long, and now you were itching for a fight.

You wandered into the forbidden forest on the hunt for poacher camps, Ashwinders, and any sign of a dark wizard that you could take down. It was past dusk, lights out would be soon and you regretted not sneaking out of the room after the Slytherin girl's dormitory check done by the head girl.

One problem at a time, you heard fighting by the old troll lair you cleared out last year looking for bubotubers. It appears the poachers had reinhabited the area, two men patrolled the area, possibly scouting out to see if there were more of whoever they were fighting.

Streaming, loud and painful, pure agony was heard, you crouched with the disillusionment charm covering you, easing your way behind the men and casting Petrificus Totalus on them both without bringing on any unwanted attention.

You did the same with the others around the camp but there were about 10-11 left. You observed as they fought amongst each other, your eyes wild in confusion, six of them wore masks that looked like a human skull. You couldn't make out any distinct features that you could use to identify them. The black cloaks they wore made them look like living Dementors.

They had the five remaining Ashwinders on their knees, wands inches away from them, on the ground.

What in Merlin's name was this?

They only targeted two out of the five, which had you even more perplexed. So caught up in what was going on in front of you, you let your guard down, you didn't sense someone coming up from behind you.

They pulled you up from your crouched location behind a couple of bushes and a tree, the disillusionment charm disappearing. The person, it felt like a man, shoved you onto the ground. You rolled onto your back just in time as he pointed his wand at you.

"Expelliar-"

"Depulso!" You spoke clearly. Your voice definitely alerted the rest of them, and though the Askwinder would usually jump at the chance to attack you on sight, they picked up their wands and fled.

Two of the masked figures, cast the killing curse on two of the Ashwinders they were targeting before.

You were surrounded, 7 against 1. This was not going to end well, you weren't sure yet for who.

Before you could think twice, with intention; you cast the Imperio curse on one of them, ordering them to attack their fellow whatever they called themselves.

"Protego!" You used the shield as blasts from all sides of you came your way, you ducked and rolled coming up behind one, "Petrificus Totalus."

One down six more to go, you blocked the spells and shot back some of your own, "Levioso, Accio, Descendo." You heard a crack in their neck, you sent a few casts before you had them unmoving on the ground.

Part of you thought about using the Killing curse to speed up this process and help you to not die, kill, or be killed and all that- but you couldn't, you wouldn't. Only in dire situations would you use it, and this wasn't one... yet.

You blocked and shielded, not able to get another hit in. Whoever the two you took down must have been the weaker ones of the group because as you fought the remaining four, they moved fluidly as they attacked you with their magic.

Never faltering, they were experienced, that much was obvious- but their magic felt wrong. It felt old almost ancient- like yours but darker. Like every defensive spell cast was a curse.

You felt yourself getting tired, they were strong and you weren't in the shape you were when you did this every other day.

"Diffindo!"

You felt the cuts in your back, you cried out and mistakenly clutched your back, stumbling forward. The others took their chance-

"Accio."

You practically flew to the one who called upon you, "Descendo," You slammed onto the ground.

Tears stung your eyes as that same person kicked you in your stomach and picked you up from the root of your hair, your chest rose and fell in what you didn't want to admit was fear. You tried looking through the small eyes of the mask to tell the color but they tilted your head to the sky.

"She smells like one of them," He spat out the last word in disgust. He brought you closer and sniffed you, "Definitely one of them."

He shoved you back onto the ground, you sneered at him and your head hit a rock on the ground. You grimaced and touched the back of your head, you felt the wetness of what you could only guess was blood.

You only had one thing left to do, you had felt it bubble beneath you helping you fight them off, it gave you the slightest bit of encouragement as you struggled to pick yourself up.

"We should kill her off now!" One of them from your right said.

You were done playing these games, you weakly lifted your wand and the Ancient Magic sang. Your body was working on autopilot, without a word you lifted the woman who said they should kill you and slammed her body to the ground, picking her up and burying her head into the earth repeatedly.

You tilted your head to the man who roughly handled you, and with a flick of your wand, he exploded.

The three that were left, had shouted 'Avada Kedavra' but it didn't reach your magic had blasted them yards away from you and into the woods.

You wanted to collapse right then and there, with the last bit of energy you could muster, you trudged along the path to the nearest floo flame, straight to the Slytherin Common room.

You didn't want to think about how many more people you killed, or that you just exposed your biggest secret to an unknown group of people who even Ashwinders ran from. You didn't care about how dirty you were, or the blood that stained your clothes.

You descended the steps you had to go down to officially be in the Common Room, as you reached the final step, you felt your wand slip out of your hand and clatter to the floor. Soon, your body would join it.

You didn't make it to the couch when you felt your world shut down, you only felt your legs being lifted off the ground, strong arms supporting you from your waist. Your eyes could barely open but you caught a glimpse of chestnut brown hair and that you were being carried bridal style before being laid on the familiar couch.

Whispers were heard, a bottle being brought to your lips, and a part of your brain hoped you weren't getting poisoned. As you drank, you felt your wounds being healed and the ache in your body lift. Wiggenweld Potion. 

You were on your back, your left hand on your stomach and your right hung from the couch, whoever had settled you onto your usual spot brought the hand that was off the couch and pressed their lips onto the back of it. Then settled it along with your left.

~~~

Chapter 5

Taglist:

@vanivivs

[slythering-snake-boys]

It's Been Awhile Ch. 2

Characters: Sebastian Sallow x Reader/MC

Series Masterlist

Words: 3209

Warnings: some fluff, mostly angsty memories, jealous Sebastian, spoilers regarding Sebastian's questline, job info coming from the HP Fandom page

Taglist: @cloudroomblog

"MC... Long time, no see." He smiled sheepishly and paused, looking over your figure quickly before licking his lips nervously. A smile graced his face, but it didn't look as confident as it used to. "You look...really well." He said, unsure if he'd really described you well at that moment. You looked a lot more mature and sophisticated. More put together. And he would've loved to tell you that and also that you looked as beautiful as the first time you'd met. However, his brain had short-circuited the moment he actually saw you and words were proving to be too hard right then. So he settled for the simplest words that wouldn't make him sound like a complete fool.

His heart thudded against his ribcage at the thought of how much he'd missed you and he swallowed dryly, hoping his voice sounded as normal as possible. "Sorry for barging in. I saw you when I got off the train, but I couldn't get my luggage out in a timely fashion."

You hummed with a little smile and looked him over briefly, but attentively, noticing the obvious changes: he had grown taller and his shoulders were broader, muscles obvious even in the dim carriage. The tips of his hair were wet and clinging to his face, though, for the most part, it looked just a little bit longer and unrulier than it used to be. You wanted to run your fingers through it like you used to whenever he used to sleep with his head on your lap while you read.

He also seemed to have more freckles and a few scars as well, especially two very prominent ones, one on the neck, which looked a few years old already, and another on his cheek, besides smaller, faded ones. You wondered if he had any more underneath his clothes, but shook your head to rid yourself of such indecent thoughts. He seemed freshly shaven, although not perfectly, and you had the sudden urge to see what he would've looked like if he hadn't. You could only imagine.

"It's okay." You settled back into the cushion and looked outside, not seeing much due to the late hour and the rain. With another swish of your wand, the carriage jolted again before it started moving as you put your wand back in your pocket.

Silence engulfed the two of you - an uncomfortable one, which was rare, but understandable due to the circumstances. You could feel Sebastian's eyes on you, watching like a hawk, no matter how inconspicuous he tried to be. You knew him too well and he knew it too. You could see him fidgeting with his hands - a nervous habit he never really could get rid of.

"You seem to be doing well. How have you been?" Your words seemed to startle him at first, but then he smiled tentatively and scratched the back of his neck as he looked down at his lap. You still made him feel like an inexperienced, head-over-heels teenage boy who wanted to woo you but had nothing to go by except for some knowledge from a few romance books he'd bought from Hogsmeade. Unbeknownst to him, you were just as nervous to be back in his presence again, but quite happy, especially knowing he was looking and, hopefully, doing well, too.

Sebastian swallowed quickly but smiled at you charmingly, noticing how your smile - scratch that - your entire being still made his heart stutter. "I've been good. Busy with work, nothing unusual."

"What are you doing right now? I'm guessing not a boring office job?"

"Oh, it's exactly that." He chuckled before crossing his arms over his chest and looking at you, somewhat confidently and smugly at the same time. You tactfully gulped when you saw how muscular his arms had become - the change was obvious despite the clothes and raincoat. Merlin, how you wanted a hug from him now... He'd always given you the best and warmest hugs ever, literally hiding you in his arms with how much taller and broader he was in comparison.

"I'm a Hit Wizard. Travelling wherever and whenever they need extra support - riots, escorting Quidditch teams, fighting and arresting criminals... You know, just a normal day." You couldn't help chuckling at the way he described his work as if it was a normal day-to-day 9-to-5 desk job. Sebastian smiled at the sound, having missed it throughout the years. He wanted to hear more of it.

"Is it dangerous?"

"Of course! Well, not that much for me, I can handle it. But how else would I get my kick out of it? I get to duel against a lot of different opponents and get paid for it. I'd say it's a great deal." Again, your chuckling made him feel better, bolder, and more confident. And you couldn't lie to yourself - you had missed Sebastian. Not just as a boyfriend, but as a friend. The atmosphere between you two seemed to mellow out and you smiled at one another. "How about you? I hear you've been making progress with the goblins." There was none of the usual hatred for goblins in his tone, a fact that made your smile wider and more genuine.

"The Goblin Liaison Office, yes. It's hard work sometimes. And can be really stressful, especially because of how often both sides clash. But it's still progress. After Ranrok and all of his Loyalists that I killed... I really thought that there was no chance of me achieving anything. But I was lucky. Especially thanks to a few of those whom I'd helped from our fifth-year onward." You smiled fondly, thinking of Arn, Garnuff...and even Lodgok. Sebastian watched you, noticing your smile appearing a little sad. He felt proud of you, but also sorry for your fair share of losses and obstacles. And he internally berated his fifth-year self for his misguided hatred towards goblins. He had a feeling that was the moment everything between you two started going downhill.

"I knew you could do it. You've always been good at helping everyone. No matter who it was." You smiled at him and shrugged.

"Well, they still aren't too fond of wizards, you know? But they didn't appreciate Ranrok going after his own kind either." Sebastian nodded, his fingers going through his hair and ruffling it to get the water out of the wet strands, giving it a fluffier and more dishevelled look. You glanced at him briefly before looking out to get your heart to calm down. It became silent again, though it felt a lot more comfortable than before.

"And? Any family or anyone waiting for you to return?" He asked as casually as possible. You glanced at him with a smile before you shook your head.

"I was with someone for a year or so, actually." You confessed, making Sebastian's mood sour for a second. The idea of you being with someone else didn't sit well with him, despite knowing that he had no right to hope for another chance with you. "But it didn't work out. And I haven't really tried to be with anyone else since then. Mostly because of work. It's hard to maintain a relationship when you travel so often." You shrugged before crossing your arms and looking at him curiously. No need to tell Sebastian that none of those you'd met or tried to be in a relationship with could ever hope to compare to him. "How about you? Charmed any lady to become the future Mrs Sallow?"

Sebastian laughed at your words before shaking his head. "No, no one's really come close to that." Except for you, he wanted to say. "I've had my fair share of relationships now and again, but it never worked. We were too busy, too different... You know what it's like." You nodded.

"Sorry it didn't work out." You weren't really that sorry. But you had to be polite.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out for you either." The words he'd spoken made Sebastian sick to his stomach. But he couldn't set himself up for failure just like that. There was still a flicker of hope inside him. Maybe he could still try - maybe he still had a chance. "They don't know what they're losing."

"Such is life." You shrugged once again with a little smile. He smiled back as he stared back at you, his heart thundering. With a burst of confidence fuelled by hope and nostalgia, Sebastian leaned forward, placing his hand on yours. The action startled you a little, your eyes blinking up at him. His chocolate eyes reminded you of a puppy and you almost felt tempted to pull him closer. He licked his lips, smiling nervously as his cheeks reddened immediately when he felt the familiar heat of your skin against his own chilled one. Hopefully, he wouldn't make a fool out of himself.

"I missed you, MC. As a friend...and more." You watched him as he talked quietly, feeling as if it was only the two of you in the entire universe. "And I'm sorry for what I've put you through all those years ago. I never did apologise properly and enough, and it never will be enough either, I know." His hand was warm, if not rougher because of his job. Its warmth and weight reminded you of better times. "But-"

The carriage jolted powerfully and you yelped, immediately feeling Sebastian's hand land on the cushion next to your thigh before his other hand slammed against the opposite side of the carriage beside your head with a loud bang, effectively and unintentionally trapping you. One of your hands had landed on his on the cushion while the other one was on his chest, feeling the firm muscle beneath and the rapid pounding of his heart. The ride smoothened out almost instantly and you gulped when you looked up, seeing Sebastian looking down at you worriedly. You'd become even more beautiful and he felt the tips of his ears burning. And had his eyelashes always been so long and perfectly framing those wide, beautiful brown puppy eyes of his?

"Are you alright?" You nodded as you were pulled out of your reverie, your heart still hammering. He felt warm, familiar and smelled good - like home. You never wanted to leave his side.

"Are you okay, though? You didn't hit yourself, right?" You asked him without answering his question, hurriedly searching his face before looking at the rest of his body for any immediate bleeding or scratches. Sebastian smiled, feeling touched by the fact that you were still worried about him, even after all this time.

"I'm fine. Are you?"

"Yeah, I'm fine as well. Thank you." He slowly, reluctantly, sat back down, silently and internally debating if he even wanted to distance himself from you again, even if you were so close to one another physically. But in the end, he did, sitting away from you once more. You almost whimpered from the loss of contact, your hand feeling warm from where it had touched him. It brought back memories of the day you'd broken up.

~

"I think we should...break up. At least for a while." Your voice sounded defeated and you looked at the floor. Sebastian froze, staring at you as if you'd grown not one, but two other heads. Maybe his ears were deceiving him? The Undercroft was made out of stone. Maybe the echo of your words made it seem like you had said something else.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Sebastian..." The fact that you didn't call him 'Seb' like you usually did hurt both of you. You looked up at him, finally gathering the courage to do so. "But you... You've changed, Sebastian. You... You won't listen to reason. I know you wouldn't listen to Solomon, I can sort of understand that. But you wouldn't listen to me, Ominis... Or even Anne, for that matter. The Dark Arts are not the answer. Please, understand and turn your back to them." His eyes never left you, instead looking into your own blankly. "We can look for another cure together. Please!" You pleaded, feeling the despair in your own voice. He stayed silent for a few long and excruciating seconds before he finally decided to talk.

"Did..." He licked his lips, already feeling his temper flaring and starting to burn through him, trying to erupt. "Did you talk to Ominis about this? About breaking up?" You only shook your head.

"I didn't. Only you and I know about this."

"Is this your ultimatum? Is wanting to save Anne such a bad thing?" Sebastian's annoyance was morphing into anger. You looked heartbroken by his voice and words.

"It is when you risk losing yourself to Dark Magic, Sebastian! Your uncle already forbade us both from going to Feldcroft. He can feel it, too, even if you yourself don't!"

"My uncle is only trying to keep me away from Anne. He may have given up on finding a cure, but I didn't! And I won't. I won't let her suffer!" His fists clenched and unclenched, his nostrils flaring at the memory of his uncle's repeated berating of his search for a cure.

"Seb...please... Let this go. We can find other ways. Losing your sanity and humanity is not worth it." You tried to get him to understand you, talking as gently as you could, hoping to make him listen to reason. But he only shook his head, a sneer morphing his pretty face into something you'd never seen before.

"Anne is worth it. She's my sister. My twin sister. The only close family I have. The only link to our parents."

"I know. But this relic... It's wrong. There's something dark about it, Sebastian. Surely you must've felt something." He only shook his head again, a deep frown making his eyebrows scrunch. Then he let out a scoff, his eyes almost burning into you.

"You're just like them. You've given up, too... And now you're trying to make me give up as well!" Now you were starting to get annoyed with him.

"No, I'm not!" You took a deep breath and tried to keep your voice normal, despite knowing no one would hear you outside of the Undercroft. "I'm only trying to get you to see that there might be other ways to go about it. That what you're doing right now is surely going to have dire consequences."

"And what if there aren't any other ways?! I would be wasting precious time! You think I haven't tried other things?! Why the hell do you think I'm trying the Dark Arts?!" You understood what he was saying. You really did. But you couldn't shake the feeling that this was going to end badly. You approached him slowly and tentatively cupped his cheek, your other hand holding one of his own. He instinctively leaned into your touch, angling himself to be closer to you, despite the anger radiating off him and his blazing eyes. He seemed to calm down a fraction at your touch.

"Sebastian... Please, sweetheart... Listen to me. This is going to end badly, whether you realise it or not. Please, don't pursue this path any more. I'm begging you!" Sebastian shook his head, eyes dark and body tense as he took a step back, letting your warm, soothing touch fade. You knew then and there that you had lost and resigned yourself to giving in to your ultimatum.

"If you think I'm going to give up just like that, when I'm this close, you're mistaken. I'm doing this for Anne." You sighed, tired and disappointed. You were starting to wonder about the truthfulness of his words.

"Then I'm afraid I can't be by your side anymore. Not when you're willing to destroy yourself and everything else in your path. Maybe your uncle was right... You don't know when to stop." Sebastian's heart was thundering painfully in his ribcage from the comparison, but he didn't care at that moment. He only got angrier.

"Oh, I know exactly when to stop." He shook his head and brushed past you in his haste, muttering bitterly to himself. "Unbelievable..."

You started crying soon after he left the Undercroft, feeling like you'd failed him, Ominis and Anne. That was the last time you two talked properly and even willingly.

A few days later, Ominis sent you an owl about Sebastian. You came, worried sick, and found Sebastian controlling the Inferi with the help of the relic he'd found.

When his uncle came as well...you defended yourself as best as you could, unwilling to hurt the older man, not even with a Basic Cast. But Sebastian had done it in your stead, unable to take it back. And after casting Depulso on her twin brother, Anne had Apparated away with their uncle's cooling body.

-

"Part of her wants Sebastian to face the consequences - another part can't bear the thought of it. I don't want to lose Sebastian, but I don't think we have a choice." You sighed, hearing Ominis' words echoing slightly in the Undercroft later that day.

"I know, Ominis. Believe me, I understand. But we do have a choice. I don't think we should turn him in." You took a deep breath, rubbing your temple in frustration. "I know Sebastian regrets it. And probably will for the rest of his life. But I'm also thinking about Anne. She's lost her health - now she's lost her uncle. Taking Sebastian away from her would be the final straw. We'd only be punishing her as well. And I don't want that for her." He was quiet for a few seconds, before nodding his head. You both wondered if it was entirely for Anne or because of your soft spot for the freckled boy.

"I - I understand what you're saying. Perhaps you're right. As much as I believe Sebastian should pay for his actions - we'd only be punishing Anne as well." He sighed, sounding tired and defeated. "I hope we're doing the right thing."

"I hope so, too..."

"I'll talk to Anne. If it comes from me, she'll agree with this decision."

"Very well, I understand." You smiled, tired as well. "Thank you, Ominis. You're a good friend." He smiled, though it was somewhat forced. He wasn't feeling well and you knew you both needed some time to process everything properly.

"Whatever lies ahead, we must face it together. That, I know."

"And we will. For now, let's rest. Will you be alright?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"Send me an owl if there's anything, okay? No matter when. I don't want you to go through this by yourself." Ominis smiled a little and nodded.

Sebastian had avoided you both after this and you let him have his space as he buried himself in schoolwork for the rest of the year and even into the next two. There barely were any conversations between the three of you. Mostly just greetings and small talk during the classes you shared.

All three of you were full of grief, regret, sadness and anger. You briefly wondered if you would ever be back to how things were.

[perplexingluciddreams]

Have you read any Merlin fanfiction? I really like Merlin fanfic. What kinds of fanfic do you like to read?

I have read a lot of Merlin fanfiction. But I have also always loved reading in general! Ever since I was very young.

I like to read lots of different types and tropes and fandoms and lengths and styles. I just love to read, always have. I make very general wide searches then just scroll scroll scroll and click on anything that looks interesting! (Which is a lot of the fics that show up, honestly!). As much as people praise ao3’s search tab, I quite like to stumble across new things in a more natural manner. So I start off with a very wide search (the tag for an entire TV programme, for example), then try things until I find something I like and then I may search for more of the same… then go back to my wider original search and continue scrolling and reading.

There is only a few things that make me click out of a fic. Usually it has to do with visual clutter and too big chunks of paragraphs that I can’t follow. Or if I am just utterly confused and don’t know what is going on (sometimes people write in a very poetic way which is very pretty but I can’t really follow). But also if it is very pretty words and nice rhythm to it (or just generally seems well written) I might read it anyway, even when I don’t know what is going on 🤷🏻‍♂️.

When I attempt to read much longer fics (like similar/same as a novel length, or longer, with many long chapters), I will usually have it open in one tab and switch between reading that and reading short “one-shots”, or re-reading my bookmarks. I often have about 3 or 4 ao3 tabs open at the same time!

I have always been a fast reader, in terms of how fast I visually recognise the words. But then I don’t process the meanings of most of it… my hyperlexic brain wants to skim read all of the words as fast as possible, but my level of comprehension and processing speed can’t keep up!! I end up re-reading most things because of this. I finish a short fic and immediately go back to the start and read slower again (sometimes several times - up to 10).

A longer fic (novel length or longer), I tend to take in sections, so I will read a few paragraphs and then go back over and over and over until I feel like I absorbed it and understand what is going on. I also often have to refer back to earlier chapters or sections to connect the pieces together in a linear fashion.

That is also how I have always read books^. And why I have always had groups of favourites (single books or series) that I go back to time and time again. I can’t really “take in” everything after only one read - even when read my way with the sections and the repetition and always going backwards before I can continue forwards - so I solve that by even more repetition of my process!

[oldshrewsburyian]

Fic Writer Meme

AO3 Name: OldShrewsburyian

Fandoms: An embarrassing number because I often find myself needing to write One Specific Thing, but led by: Sherlock Holmes (assorted versions, but especially canon); Timeless; The Hour (still not over it); Foyle's War (mysteriously perfect); Merlin (...I don't have an excuse, I just rewatched it early in the pandemic.) The Wimseyverse and the Morseverse also account for several fics each.

Number of Fics: 134 (oops?)

Fic I spent the most time on: I'm honestly not sure. Writing novella-length fics that require research is a (bad?) habit of mine. The most recent of those is All the Powders of the Merchant. ...It might be a still and woven blue though.

Fic I spent the least time on: ...I'm also not sure. I will say (confess?) that I just whipped The Hands File together for an informal Holmestice round without thinking about it too hard. It was fun!

Longest fic: The Craven Hive

Shortest fic: I have podfics, 3-sentence ficathon fills, and quite a few drabbles!

Most hits: and history immeasurably is wealthier (this is partly due to good timing, I think; the second season of Timeless had ended, and we were all excited by possibility and full of hope.)

Most kudos: Rightwise Born (this is largely due to the size of the Merlin fandom, I think; it's not a popular fic in the grand scheme of things.)

Total Word Count: 516,053 (that's five academic monographs of words; nobody look at me)

Favorite Fic I Wrote: I usually answer The Craven Hive (we write fic for ourselves first and foremost, and this is my "the Holmes-Watson partnership is about everything that is most important in human relationships actually and here's how human love survives cataclysms and also I have a lot of feelings about WWI" fic.) I will also, though, mention that The House of Magic is the only fic for Guzaarish on AO3, and I'm proud of filling that void. Also, several other people have said they're glad it exists.

Fic You Want To Rewrite/Expand On: ...I do also occasionally think about expanding The Craven Hive. Or taking the plunge and writing out my post-canon "here's how my ship can still win" series following on from Only To Uncertain Days (Foyle's War.)

Share a Bit of a WIP or story idea you are planning on: I'm currently writing... an Ivanhoe AU set in 1930s NYC, which is either unhinged or entirely predictable of me or somehow both. @halfbad-333 generously let me run with the idea, and @counterwiddershins is generously beta-reading. It contains the Rebecca-Rowena friendship we deserve, and thus paragraphs such as:

Rebecca folded her hands on the desk. “Rowena, you know I love you, and I love that you always see the best in people — and in the world — but you do realize that I have hired this man because he knows how to use a gun, and how to intimidate people without one?”

I was kindly tagged by @mudlark2019; I tag in turn, in the usual non-obligatory fashion, @gaslightgallows, @sanguinarysanguinity, @tinydooms, @shredsandpatches, @mercurygray

[merlincersei]

Merlin BBC UK TV Show - A Psychological Analysis Series Part 2

The Gay Arc Of Our Protagonist and Antagonist

Using magic equals homosexuality motif, Camelot represents a homophobic society. Against this backdrop, is where Morgana and Merlins character arcs are formed.

For Morgana, the backdrop of an intolerant society is further compounded by a homophobic family dynamic. She is literally disowned I.e not acknowledged by Uther as being his child (a fear a lot of lgbt people have). She ultimately rebels against the society and her family by coming to terms with her sexuality. However all the oppression and the unpleasant coming out process (Merlin literally poisons her) has made her bitter and she lashes out in destructive ways namely against the token heterosexual couple of the show Gwen and Arthur. It plays into the homophobic stereotype of how militant homosexuals are a threat to traditional heterosexual society. Morgana is literally turned from a brave and loyal friend who helped a lowly servant by going to his village and helping him defend it to being this irredeemable shrew once she embraces her true identity I.e a goth lesbian ROFLMAO.

Merlin who has also grown in a homophobic society, however was lucky enough to experience a tolerant interpersonal dynamics. His mother and his friend are both aware of his identity and are supportive of him. However unlike Morgana, Merlin chooses to stay in the closet because, he has chosen to focus on his career of being this amazing sorcerer whose job is to enable a king achieve greatness. This parallels a lot of gay people who remain closeted I,e actors, athletes, politicians, even ordinary people who feel coming out will deprive them of opportunities.

To really understand why the tone of merlin tv series changes drastically in seasons 4 and 5 is to understand the primary motivation of our hero and villain.

Merlin character arc is driven by fear. Fear of being found out. Fear of being rejected. Fear of failing his destiny.

Morgana character arc is driven by hate. Hatred of Uther for not acknowledging her and forcing her to supress her true self. Hatred of Camelot for condemning her when she wanted to rebel against a system that vilified her for what she was.

In classic fashion, those who rebel against society meet an untimely end. Morgana just like Sal Mineo's character in the classic heavily gay Sub textual movie "Rebel Without A Cause" is killed off.

Merlin who plays by society’s rule by remaining closeted and denying his true feelings, lives to be an old man full of regret.

In a case of art imitating life, Richard Wilson, the actor who played Gaius, came out in his 80s and said that he regrets hiding all his life because he never got the chance to build a family with someone he loved. I think it’s very bittersweet how he played a role that frequently told Merlin to “be more careful”.

Article: 

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[dreamcrow]

I need some Hot Crow Takes on what was the worst example of Villain Decay throughout ToA. also on what Leonora Janeth uses in her hair

send me a meta prompt (currently closed); thank you for the ask!

the arcane and esoteric mysteries of janeth's haircare regimen are beyond my humble (straight-haired) supposings. but for the villain decay? oh, morgana, hands down. 

gunmar is spooky, but a bit of a ham. for most of trollhunters, he’s also relatively distant. bular is a lot closer, and much more of an immediate threat, but he’s always ultimately subordinate (either to stricklander or his father) and he does, in the end, get got by a teenager. angor is initially presented as terrifying, and rightly so, but even if he becomes sympathetic he’s always formidable; stricklander starts out pretty nefarious (especially if you think about some of the implications of e.g. feeding bular a human security guard) but is of course, in proper gdt fashion, domesticated by wuv. obviously i have niche side blorbo brain fungus re: the arcane order but it's hard to assess their actual "villain decay" without having to think about That Film. at any rate, i don't think they're actually the worst example in toa: despite a concept/design that fucks so absolutely severely, once they get on screen, they're not actually built up all that much (or...well). it takes them less than the space of an episode (22 minutes) to go from "dread, ancient terrors that even merlin is afraid of" to "merlin shooing away them, the green knight, and their evil floating skull castle with less effort than he usually spares to criticize douxie." but that's another post.

morgana, though. part of what made her such a compelling villain was how little arthur figured in trollhunters. the existence of merlin implies the existence of arthur, of course, but in trollhunters arthur isn't there at all. instead, we get the negative space of him: his right hand (merlin) and the anti-arthur (morgana). obviously this is partly her role in arthuriana proper, but it also strikes me as pretty deliberate here: merlin's liege vs. merlin's student (and that liege's sister); humanity's last best hope vs. the queen of the otherworld; the king under the mountain vs. the witch under arcadia. i was not very tuned into morgana when i first got into trollhunters, but looking back over the series for this ask, the parallels are so obvious. and so tight! i wouldn't be surprised if some of this was even deliberate.

and the thing is: trollhunters has enough space as a series that its antagonists don't really have to pull their punches. morgana was nasty in trollhunters. pale lady, baba yaga, eldritch queen, mother of monsters—holy shit, right? and she's creepy, too: all muttering whispers and dread ancient magic! she takes angor’s soul, and then his free will. she taunts stricklander while possessing the body of one of his students (while threatening the permanent exile of two more to the depression dimension), and then in the guise of the human he's in love with. speaking to her faithful children—who only exist through morally dubious, unpleasant processes, for which she is implied to be responsible—via institutional heirloom phonograph! she's so much more connected to the shadow realm, here, probably the most compelling justification for reading shadow magic as dangerous. she's the big bad behind angor and gunmar (while playing them both against each other). she absolutely feels evenly paired with merlin, and (rightly) kicks his ass through most of the battle of the eternal night. she's evil but charismatic and even despite all that still a little human: when she taunts jim for not knowing merlin used her hand for the amulet, it isn't without a shadow of what must have been an ancient hurt.

and then. wizards. jesus christ (tired ben affleck smoking dot jpg)

[ » read the rest of the essay on ao3 ]

[colubrina]

Hiii! It's been a long time since I wrote to you and know that i miss sending you asks and reading your replies! 🩵 I just finished watching the Merlin series and i was wondering if you had any fiction book recs that tell the story of King Arthur and Merlin! I'm a Harry Potter fan so would love to read more!

Hello anon friend!!!!

Arthuriana comes in and out of fashion, and you're in luck because it seems to be coming back in again. And here I am with my useless MA in Medieval Studies to offer some suggestions.

The obvious rec is Legendborn, which is a recent YA with a 16-yo Black heroine and all the knights of the round table reborn (sort of)

I can't do an Arthuriana rec list without including The Mists of Avalon, which follows the story from the POV of Morgan Le Fay. (The author was a monster, so if you prefer not to read books by genuinely terrible people, maybe skip this one. But it's an important one in the genre)

A science fiction/corporate take is Once and Future, and a couple I haven't read but have heard good things about are The Other Merlin and The Crystal Cave. And you can find a couple lists of arthur books HERE and HERE.

(@finnlongman or @medievalfantasist - do you have any suggestions for anon?)

[jomiddlemarch]

WIP Wednesday!

I was tagged by the lovely @tortoisesshells Thank you for thinking of me, friend!

"...Draco had frankly never expected to see Hermione Granger again. He’d caught sight of her at the final battle and then glimpses in the aftermath, rarely alone; she was almost always in the company of Potter or a Weasley, though not primarily Ron, and Longbottom was beside her far more often that Draco would have thought, except for that last year at Hogwarts when it had turned out that Neville was the most indomitable wizard Draco had ever encountered, for all that he still wore Mugglish patterned jerseys under his robes and carried a sprig of gorse in his pocket. Granger had been busy, sorting things out, explaining what she’d worked out to Shacklebolt and the Wizengamot, pitching in at Hogwarts, making sure Snape’s portrait was hung with a view to a reading stand spelled to turn the pages of an interminable series of Potions journals. She’d testified at Draco’s trial in severe dark robes to showcase her Order of Merlin badge, her hair secured with an old-fashioned filet that had to have come from the Longbottom’s vault. He’d seen her from the chair he’d been secured in and watched her enter and leave the private chamber they’d used for her testimony. She’d given him an unreadable look as she left. He’d never been certain whether she meant to be reassuring or quelling..."

Tagging @orlissa @aquitainequeen @nervousladytraveler @asteraceae-blue @amarguerite @trulybetty @ladamedusoif and anyone else who feels like sharing!

[kiwiplaetzchen]

Theo was very focused. She had to place the gold thimble just far enough away from the emerald button that it was enticing enough for the little creature to continue in vested interest. 

She didn’t know if this would work, but she had lined up the little shiny trinkets she had been collecting on various travels starting from the entrance of the Slytherin common room all the way to a little secret hideaway she had found just a few meters from the corridor entrance. 

It had been weeks that she had spent laughing at the little menace’s shenanigans happening across the castle, and was especially sad when Sebastian had made it very clear that all those going to the Three Broomsticks were under strict orders to keep their hands off of his niffler. 

She didn’t want to put HANDs on him. Just a few pets for Merlin’s sake. And maybe nuzzles. Innocent enough!

For now, this surprise for the little niffler would have to do. She wasn’t sure if she had more fun making it, than the niffler might have playing in it. She placed the final piece of her treasures near the little entrance to the special alcove she made. In it, she had fashioned a series of climbing obstacles, as if it was a playground for a very small human, with shiny mirrors and bobbles hanging here and there. And of course little pillows for Nosy to tumble around in as well. 

In it all, Theo left a little bit of treats as well and an old Hufflepuff scarf of hers to cozy it up. She didn’t know if the niffler had any Hufflepuff friends besides Elland…she’d have to ask William. But either way, the scarf let the little creature know that they had a friend near the kitchens if he ever wanted to come visit! 

Nosy was feeling quite grumpy. He had been shooed out of the Slytherin common room by a stern prefect and he couldn't understand why! How dare that prefect do that to him?! After all, how could Sebastian just go and have fun without Nosy?! The little menace was NOT happy with the decision to be left back at home while everyone else was having fun without him...

Nosy let out a long, aggravated purr. All Nosy wanted was to show Sebastian how upset he was for being left behind, so destroying nearly all of the pillows, blankets, and curtains in the dorms out of spite seemed like a good plan. He huffed and pouted, his little Niffler heart feeling heavy.

Suddenly, something caught Nosy's eye! It was shiny and sparkly, just like the treasures he loved so much to collect! His curiosity got the better of him, and he couldn't resist following the trail of shiny trinkets that led him away from the common room.

More and more treasures found their way into Nosy's pouch. The Niffler let out a giggle as if he were happy that his companion had no idea what he was missing while being gone. As Nosy followed the trail, he found himself in a secret hideaway that seemed to be made just for him!  

Nosy couldn't help but let out a delighted honk. He forgot all about being grumpy as he explored the little alcove, his paws batting at the shiny objects and his nose nuzzling against the soft pillows. It was so much fun!

There were even treats waiting for him! The good ones, too! And a cozy, nice-smelling Hufflepuff scarf! Nosy eyes couldn't grow any bigger!

Nosy took the scarf in his snout and curled up on one of the soft pillows, slowly drifting into sleep.

[nix-whythisfilm]

Long-Running Shows I Urge Everyone to Watch

Long-standing shows are known for their continuation of the story, it gives depth to all the nuances of characters and story that we can discover in the course of the story. With these shows having over 70 episodes, it is pretty sure to leave anyone with an impression.

The Mentalist (2008-2015)

This award-winning show was one of the classic shows with psychology being used in crime, and the protagonist here is a mentalist. A mentalist can be briefly described as a person with good knowledge of psychology, with other things like cold reading and general knowledge of people's behaviour and society. This show is family-friendly with minimal gore, a fair amount of violence and a running plot for seven seasons. The episodes moved in a fashion where they had active cases to solve in the CBI, but there was also a bigger case that was the big picture throughout the season. This show has a good pace and very rarely tires the audience.

This show is a personal favourite considering it was the first-ever series I ever watched nearly six years ago, it was engaging back then and is exactly that captivating even now. The main character was a con man initially but has now joined as a consultant for the CBI department investigating murders. The characters are all original and fairly do not fit into any stereotype. That makes it interesting because Patrick Jane, the protagonist, is constantly poking at them with his observations of them that they might not always be candid about. It actually gives a new outlook and perspective on people and the human mind through the course of this show. 

Merlin (2008-2012)

A curious perspective to the classic story of King Artur and the wizard Merlin, this series is extremely old-school and a genuine change of pace from the mainstream shows. The show is set in Old England with the characters just stepping into the world as youths and trying to find their place in the world. Being a relatively old show, the graphics of the fantasy elements are a little obvious, but otherwise, it is a good series for a family watch. The story moves slowly, each episode being moralistic in nature, till the plot moves into the details for much more of the structure of the myth.

It was slow at the start, which made me think it would be a tedious watch. But then, the show connected in a way that cannot be explained in simple sentences. The slow lives that are shown on screen, with a lack of technology and simple dreams of living, get alluring. While I didn't like the ending of the series it makes sense considering everything in the plotline. But then again, there is always a possibility of an alternative story. Merlin is light-hearted but also has the immense pressure of being the prophecy. Then there is Arthur, brought up with everything at his beck and call, despite having no real companion. What really made them a great pair in this show was that Arthur always stood by Merlin, and Merlin was the only one to call Arthur's bullshit.

Teen wolf (2011-2017)

A show that was heavily called out for the stereotypes and cliches it represented in the media, it knocked off all my close-minded expectations when I watched it. While the show is about teenagers who gain supernatural powers in high school, it also involves the stories of other characters who are more than just stereotypes and give an insight into a different scenario. The series is slow in the beginning and moves much faster after the first two seasons. It is mostly fantasy and romance drama, including bits of horror in the later seasons. It is an incisive and heartful show. Something that stood out in the series was the friendships, the decisions they had to make, and everything that felt homely old-school.

The series quickly became my favourite after I got attached to the characters. And I find everyone who watched the show does get attached to the characters. Another favourite thing about the show was how stupid they all were. Yes, stupid and petty. But it was what made it more authentic and believable because as much credit the adults might give teenagers, they are still kids learning the way of the ways of the world and their roles in it all. And this show spoke very well for most communities included in the show.

Suits (2011-2019)

Having heard so much of this show from everyone, I know the hype was well-maintained. The first episode blew me away and everything thrown into the show was like an experience in itself. A genius hustling boy and an experienced lawyer looking for growth in his business. Being one of the first shows on law and business that I watched, I still believe that it is one of the best of its kind. The show has incredible women in power and nuances of business that can be easily recognized and appreciated. The characters are all unique, and each case that the duo learn to handle feels like a lesson that anyone can learn.

Unconventionally, I watched the Korean adaptation of the show prior to watching the original show. While all the original fans judged me for it, I liked the order I watched it in. The adaptation has the actor blowing us away from the beginning, and the show also has a different arch for the romance. Another significant thing that the series stars is the Duchess of Sussex, Megan Markle. It is an insightful perspective into the world of lawyers, corporate and hustlers. And as such, the show might always stand as a standard for its calibre.

Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

Highly spoken, the game of thrones is based on the book series of the same name. The books are written by George RR Martin and are collectively called the Song of Ice and Fire. The show had raged across the internet and popular culture for over a decade, it is completely outlandish with its authenticity and the story it brought. While the setting is similar to the world of the Inheritance Cycle written by Cristopher Paolini, this show is much more raw and mature than the latter. Fans and critics have plenty to speak of in this series, but one thing that can be mentioned is the individuality and details that were given in each scene for every character in the tale.

This show was a rebellious genre for me, having been so restricted for its nudity and age restrictions. While the show does have ample nudity and sex scenes with more than enough violence and gore, I believe it was all pieces of the puzzle which would have seemed vacant if it were all left out. The nudity in this show invoked my way of seeing human bodies aesthetically rather than something so precarious and objectified. While there are all sorts of things included in the show, from incestuous relationships to betrayals and found families, this show won over the hearts of over eight million people for a reason. A reason that can only be found by experiencing this show of a lifetime.

The Vampire Diaries (2009-2017)

This show was a sensation when screened and is still running on numerous OTT platforms. It has vampires, witches, werewolves and more. Now, while it is common for this genre to be attractive to teenagers and horror enthusiasts, it can also be watched by anyone interested in drama, romance and fantasy. The show has elements that are more than just one genre by having spanned over that many years it also had an evolution of the characters. What initially started as a horror and fantasy teenage series went on to become a fantasy show that showed incredible stories that were more.

I was sceptical while starting the show, with the books that I read being extremely taxing and disappointing. But the show was many folds better than the book ever was. It does have questionable morals in the beginning, but nearly all the characters have turned out better than the written archetype of them. The show also evolved considering the trend each year and the maturity expected of the characters as they grew up. There are innumerable opinions on the show everywhere, but to be honest it is a good watch. Numerous audios are trending that are from this show, and truly the dialogues were exceptional. There are times it gets tedious with the drama and then there are times the show exceeds expectations to leave an effect on us.

The Originals (2013-2018)

This show is a continuation of the Vampire Diaries series and starts off with the story of a complicated family. Initially antagonists in the prequel, the Mikaelson family is over centuries old and vampires that have an enthralling history. This show unpacks more of their history and the impact they have on their community, along with the head member of the family being a unique type of a vampire. The protagonist is cunning and morally questionable throughout, which is what keeps the story gripping and outlandish. There are similar family tropes in The Vampire Diaries but what makes this different is that The Originals is set in New Orleans and is NOT a high school drama.

This show was wildly different to anything that I had ever watched before, and the protagonist was an art connoisseur. He spoke of the city and his favour for painting which really put a perspective on how I perceived both. They have shown parts of history that were affected by vampires and the supernatural which makes so much sense. Though the books written by E.J Smith do have the characters, the story does not have the same trajectory. Another thing that was emphasized repeatedly is how every family is complicated but sticks through thick and thin.

How to get away with murder (2014-2020)

Having finished this show just now, I can say it was as intense as any show I have ever come across. There was plenty of violence, gore, and sex, considering it is a crime show involving law students who work for a criminal lawyer. While the show seemed very flaky on the morality of their actions throughout, in hindsight, the show makes much more sense and connects all the possible dots without any plotholes. The show ended with a lot of emotions and a full of the journey of the characters, just as a friend mentioned.

The show was a lot considering it throws us headfirst into a murder in the first scene. It had a narration style that was addictive and mind-boggling at the same time. The characters started off flimsy with bare personalities that all seemed stereotypical. But as the plot enhanced, every individual grew into people that could not have been predicted. The violence and the gore are a little outrageous, but in the end, it all fits like an intricate puzzle. The show focuses on the lives of numerous women, with the protagonist being an ambitious older woman who also has a disastrous personal life. It also showed perspectives on people of colour and queer sexualities. It inherently normalised homosexual relationships and an outlook of how closeted people function.

[marybeatriceofmodena]

I came across your anti-Grishaverse posts and I like to add some of own analyses about the worldbuilding (if you're willing to go through the series again after 2021, ofc). My knowledge on Russian history and folklore is very surface level but even then I still was absolutely baffled at how bad the worldbuilding is. Especially with "Grisha" which is literally Russian for Greg???? Lol, let's just call in the Pasha Army too because why not. I've already relentlessly made fun of the name "Grishaverse" being a multiverse of Gregs so here are my favorites: Gregor-Man: Into the Greg-verse. Gregory-thing Gregory-where All At Greg, Doctor Greg and the Multiverse of Greg-ness. And it's even worse with the show when they clumsily tried to explore racism with a more diverse cast of people of Asian descent which would've been an incredible story considering Russia's rich history with the Mongols and the Turks but then they had to add in the term "rice-eater". When like, Russian cuisine includes rice. Like salmon coulibiac. So it just makes no sense at all, it's kinda the equivalent of calling an American "burger-eater". And the absence of patronymic names just because the author thought it sounded better without them (Alina Starkov is grammatically incorrect and it drove me insane, it literally takes 5 minutes to look up how to do it). I think it's great how the author wanted to do a fantasy story with some vaguely Slavic traditions but the result reminds me of Raya and the Last Dragon from Disney which, as a South East Asian person, I really dislike because it literally does the same thing of cherry picking stuff from SEAsian countries and using words from real languages that don't make sense at all, even if it's a fantasy story (I really hate the "dep la" line from the movie). It's like the author doesn't really care about the nuances of Russian society or Slavic societies in general and really only cared about the aesthetics of it (which the show didn't even do right, what the fuck are those costumes, I hate fantasy costumes that look like they were on a haute couture fashion line). Which could lead into some really awful pitfalls bordering on stereotyping and exoticization. I think it's great how she wanted to do a fantasy story with some vaguely Slavic traditions since they're pretty underappreciated but the result reminds me of Raya and the Last Dragon from Disney which, as a South East Asian person, I really dislike because it literally does the same thing of cherry picking stuff from SEAsian countries and using words from real languages that don't make sense at all (I really hate the "dep la" line from the movie). I'm just tired of authors cherry picking stuff from other cultures for the aesthetics and don't bother to really delve into said cultures and build an interesting story inspired by their folklore or history. Not to mention, it feels like the lack of research shows a reluctance to genuinely learn and fall in love with Slavic cultures, like Westerners still think they're backwards and barbaric. I certainly felt the same way with Raya.

So, I'll start with the disclaimer that I haven't seen Raya as of now so I can't really speak for it, BUT I think the one nuance I would bring to this is that I do think it's fine to use artistic licence when you're taking inspiration for a certain culture, WITH THE VERY IMPORTANT CAVEAT that you need to understand what you're taking inspiration from in the first place.

Take me, for instance. My original fiction takes inspiration (among other things) of Breton tales and mythology, since it's the region where it's believed Nimue trapped Merlin, and there is a personnifcation of Death figure that is a bit of a nod to the Ankou (who in Breton mythology is considered to be Death's henchman), a plot point that will be a callback to the Midnight Washerwomen, and so on and so forth, but none of these are a 1:1 comparison with the Ankou and the Midnight Washerwomen, simply because... well, I felt like doing something different. But you know, I acknowledge it's a nod, I'm not going to say "Lord Death in my story is like the Ankou", because that simply wouldn't be true nor accurate.

All that to say, "inspiration" doesn't save you from having to do research, and learning "why" certain things tick a certain way. Orthodoxy tends to be very oriented towards mysticism and spirituality, and we kind of get that with the cult of the Saints in the Grishaverse, but if you stop and think about religion for more than 5 minutes in that setting, it falls apart. You could get away with saying naming conventions are different in your story compared to Russian conventions (if only for the sake of being gender-neutral and more inclusive), but it becomes a problem when there are several other mistakes that native speakers can easily point out.

And then, of course, you have to take into account that LB's forte is not writing fantasy that involves politics, sociology, wars, and so on. If we're talking about something that's more "in isolation" like the SoC duology, you can get away with that. Seriously, 19th Russia was a mess - it produced absolutely amazing art that endures to this day and still inspires a lot of people (not that we see any hint of that lmao), but it was also a pretty shitty place to live if you were a peasant or a serf. The problem is, the PoV characters we have for both the Grisha trilogy and the KoS duology are essentially 21st century characters, who apply 21st century logic and solutions to a 19th century setting, and instead of that causing a certain set of consequences, it works out for them when it really shouldn't, all the while they're ignoring HUGE PROBLEMS that are right there.

If you're going to write high fantasy with big stakes, I cannot recommend enough reading and learning about history. You're writing about a female freedom fighter in an oppressive regime? Read about real life folk heroines - Boudica, the Trung sisters, Joan of Arc, Emilia Plater, Rani Lakshmibai. You're writing about a rags (or close enough) to ruler protagonist? Read about Catherine I of Russia, Wei Zifu, Basil I, Fredegund, Theodora, Honwu Emperor. What made them tick? How did they get all the way to the top? Was it charm? Guile? Brute force? Knowledge? Sheer luck? Divine intervention (don't look at me like that, go ask Joan)? How did royal courts work? What were the conflicts at the time? Why were there conflicts at the time?

"But Irina, why should I do that research? It's all magic and dragons and monsters!"

Unless we're talking about a post-apocalyptic or primitive society, you're still going to have a certain level of societal organization. How is magic viewed in your fantasy world? Is it allowed? Glorified? Despised? Where does it come from? What's your inspiration? How does this inspiration view magic? What are you going to do differently and why? Are your dragons friendly or not? Are they gods? Pets? Prey? Are we talking about dragons in Persian mythology where they represent vices? If you're going to make them benevolent, why? Are they Chinese dragons, where they're considered benevolent and wise (on that note, that's why China had a more negative reaction to Mushu when Disney's animated version of Mulan came out)? If they're just going to be mindless beasts who just think about violence, why? Why not even pick another monster if you're going to make them the big bad when they're anything but? And the list goes on.

[hirazuki]

✧Main Tag✧

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Animated Series/Movies ✧Akura-ou | Kamisama Hajimemashita ✧Azula | Avatar: The Last Airbender ✧Erza Scarlet | Fairy Tail ✧Howl Pendragon | Howl's Moving Castle ✧Illumi Zoldyck | Hunter x Hunter ✧Lotor | Voltron: Legendary Defender ✧Orochimaru | Naruto ✧Sasaki Kojirō | Fate/Stay Night ✧Uchiha Itachi | Naruto ✧Yagami Light | Death Note

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Books/Comics ✧Aredhel | The Silmarillion ✧Cedric | W.I.T.C.H. ✧Eöl | The Silmarillion ✧Mairon/Sauron | The Silmarillion ✧Maeglin | The Silmarillion

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Original Designs ✧Demon ✧Ἑκάτη/Hekate ✧Fashion + Sword ✧Vampire

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Video Games ✧Hijikata Toshizō | Hakuōki ✧Sephiroth | Final Fantasy VII ✧Zenos yae Galvus | Final Fantasy XIV

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One-offs/Make-up looks ✧Aaravos | The Dragon Prince ✧Farangis | Arslan Senki ✧Lara Croft | Tomb Raider: The Angel of Darkness ✧Morgana | Merlin (2008 TV Series) ✧Tabris OC (Elora) | Dragon Age:Origins ✧Yadōmaru Lisa | Bleach

[magicofthepen]

Here’s a tag directory for my blog! (Not every fandom on this list is something I’m currently into – I’ve included old fandoms if I have a lot of posts in the tag.)

The Gallifrey audios have been my main fandom for several years, and this fall the October Daye series became my current main fannish interest.

If you follow me and haven’t listened to all of Gallifrey, I’m happy to tag for spoilers past the audio of your choice – just let me know! Same thing for if you follow me and would like me to tag October Daye spoilers past a certain book.

Currently tagging for #gallifrey spoilers post-Time War 1, and not tagging for October Daye spoilers. (Note: Gallifrey tag directory includes Gallifrey characters/relationships through Time War 3 and October Daye tag directory includes October Daye spoilers.)

my stuff

fic tag | ao3 account edits text posts answered asks fic talk

main fandoms

gallifrey audios tag directory october daye tag directory

(note: those are separate posts because I hit the link limit on this post.)

audio

big finish ( non-gallifrey ) the adventure zone ( balance / amnesty ) the strange case of starship iris the mortal path wolf 359 second star to the left

tv shows

doctor who avatar: the last airbender legend of korra steven universe steven universe future she-ra and the princesses of power good omens merlin ( merlin text posts ) taskmaster once upon a time

movies

star wars the old guard everything everywhere all at once marvel cinematic universe

books

the locked tomb leagues and legends the alliance trilogy wayward children wayfarers this is how you lose the time war percy jackson / heroes of olympus the kane chronicles warrior cats artemis fowl

musicals

wicked hadestown come from away cats

games

stay?

general

creative arts: art | writing | worldbuilding | publishing | fiction | poetry | music | dance | theatre | fashion | figure skating | bookbinding | video essays

tabletop games: dnd | general rpg tag

recs from others: books to read | general media recs natural world: animals | nature | gardening relationships, gender, sexuality: relationships | lgbt+ | gender things | sex ed | polyamory politics & social justice: us politics | racial justice | black lives matter | decolonization | environmentalism | environmental justice | climate change | reproductive justice | disability rights | accessibility | neurodiversity | labor rights | palestine | ukraine

brain things: mental health | brain soup

fandom: ao3 | dreamwidth | tumblr | fandom

other topics: space | food | health (us health insurance system, vaccines, etc.) | electronics | time loops misc: reference | ‘for later’ | general (catch-all) tag