#mid tri break you cannot come fast enough

[bluewatersfairy]

my wip are calling me like i don't have 6 assignments to do in less than a week

[st4rfvckerr]

@mazerunner-rarepairs it's still the 31st here so !!

honestly this was supposed to be Aris/Teresa but it kinda turned into Aris/Teresa/Thomas and im not mad about it

prompt: "because i want you to"

aka Teresa and Aris in the scorch after betraying Thomas

~

The scorch is hot and dry and Teresa is restless.

More than anything, she attempts not to think about Thomas, in the constricted little room adjacent to the cave she is currently sitting in. More than anything, she attempts not to think about Aris, curled across from her with his knees hugged to his chest. More than anything, she attempts not to think about what she has done.

She's exhausted and sore and still shaky from the aftermath of the day’s event and yet, she doesn't seem to be able to fall asleep. She squeezes her eyes shut and sees nothing but Thomas’s tortured face, frozen mid-scream, printed onto her corneas, an agonizing reminder of the actions she has committed, of her betrayal.

She tries to calm down her shaking, running a soothing hand down her arm and feeling the goosebump that had formed too long ago, but in vain. She only trembles harder, her core rattling as she grinds her teeth together.

Aris doesn't seem in a better shape, and even from where she is sitting Teresa can see how pale he is, his cheeks a sickly shade of white. He's avoiding to look at her and Teresa doesn't blame him, wishing she could seal her eyes closed and erase the vision of anything that would remind her of what she had been forced to do. The idea of Thomas alone in that small cell with the conviction that Teresa and Aris had never cared for him makes her nauseous. It's far from the truth, maybe further than Teresa would admit, and they both know it. She wishes Thomas could know that too, wishes she could run to him and embrace him, press her palms to the small of his back and his neck and promise him that she never wanted any of this to happen, that all she ever wished for was for him to be safe. That she loves him.

She doesn't move.

Aris shuffles, and Teresa’s eyes mechanically flick to where he is sitting. They share one long, meaningful look, and Teresa cannot take it anymore.

Come here. She reaches out telepathically, the morbid silence surrounding them too thick to be disturbed.

Aris doesn't budge, fidgeting with his hands as he adverts Teresa’s gaze again, his eyes running over the artificially carved stone of the cave they are sitting in.

I can't, he eventually answers, and even in Teresa’s head his voice sounds terrified.

He's shaking, wrapping his arms around his torso to stop the tremors, and Teresa wants to be the one to hold him. She runs her fingers over the warm sand, draws lines and circles absentmindedly to avoid thinking about her situation as she chews on her lips, wishing she didn't have to go through it alone.

She breaks.

“Please,” she begs, inadvertently slipping into verbal communication. “I need you.”

Aris blinks, runs a hand through his hair, and sighs. He untangles his long limbs and stands, stretching onto the position. He takes small, hesitant steps towards Teresa, and when he's close enough she pulls him in, burying her face into the pale skin where his neck meets his shoulder, breathing him in. Aris flinches but lets her, smoothing out her hair with his free hand.

He doesn't say anything but Teresa knows he's thinking, and feels his hesitation. She drives the pads of her fingers over his pulse point and feels his heartbeat, fast and sharp. His body feels wrong against hers, all cutting angles and prodding bones, but Teresa can't bring herself to care. Aris places an arm around her waist, securing her, and Teresa is more grateful for the contact than anything.

Aris eventually breaks their silence. He will hate us, he says in Teresa’s mind.

She feels sick, near instantly, her heart pounding painfully in her throat, reminded of the boy sitting not far from them after having successfully erased him from his mind.

She's almost mad at Aris, wants to claw at his skin and beg him to shut up. She doesn't, instead curling up a little closer to him. He's pliant under her touch and Teresa can feel his dread, too similar to her own. Somehow she knows that he, too, would do anything to get Thomas out of there.

Somehow she knows things won't ever be the same.

~

[dawnleaf37]

Hold on . this is supposed to be the funny blog

hey viewers are you ready ?

(On the planet)

Monkey Paw (after spending 17 hours trying to kill devilled egg but failing horribly)

“Augh! All this time wasted! I could be on League right now!”

(My League of Legends ID is 8721-8394-1943 if you want to add me)

(I’m platinum rank on like 24 heros)

Monkey Paw - “I didn’t want to have to do this”

Monkey Paw gets out a phone and dials it

Meanwhile (goku gif) “You will not destroy the world , whatever your name is ( idk the name@of the villain in Goku)

“

Goku Villain from Goku - “hehhehehe , that’s where you’re wrong Goku”

“I have been training for this day for twenty-seven years”

“You will not defeat ME”

“Hahahahaha” (goku gif)

“Oh yeah , it’s on , dickhead”

Goku Villain from Goku - “then let’s-“

the villain from Goku is interrupted by the call of Goku’s phone

Goku - “oh sorry I gotta take this”

Goku Villain - “wait hold on-“

Goku (talking to phone and ignoring the evildoer) “Devilled Egg? Okay - got it”

Goku hangs up

Goku - “alright dude , is it okay if I go do something really quick and then come back”

Goku Villain from Goku - “what the fuck.”

Goku Villain from Goku - “what.”

Goku - “I just need to go somewhe-“

Goku Villain from Goku  - “no”

Goku Villain from Goku - “ I trained most my life for this. And I just have to wait - for you?”

Goku Villain from Goku  - “what”

Goku Villain from Goku - “am I just not that good enough for you?”

Goku - “no , it’s not tha-“

Goku Villain from Goku - “oh I get it , Goku is just too good for me”

“You’d rather be other places than fighting scum like me , right?”

Goku - “Uhh , now it kinda sounds like you’re bringing some of your other issues into this.”

“I think you might need to like , take a break , walk outside or - something”

Goku Villain from Goku (tearing up) - “I’m sorry I’m not strong enough to fight you Goku”

“I’m sorry I’m not good enough.”

“You know , I tried and tried my best to reach your standards but it was never good enough , was it?”

Goku - “dude , if you keep doing this , I might actually leave and never come back”

Goku Villain from Goku - “do it then , leave like everyone else”

Goku - “if you’re fine with it , I’ll just go then.”

Goku zooms away , leaving the villain alone

The villain is on their knees , crying

The screen zooms out to reveal an empty battlefield

ding

The villain checks their phone , it appears with a notification

“Happy Birthday”

Meanwhile (goku gif) “TAKE THIS , YOU DUMB FUCKING EGG”

Goku tries to punch Deviled Egg

Devilled Egg - dodges

Goku punches again

Devilled Egg

dodges

Goku - “he is JUST too FAST”

Devilled Egg - “personally , I was not a fan of Annoying Orange’s 'Chiller' “

upon hearing this , Goku went into a craze (goku gif) “HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?!?”

“THE ANNOYING ORANGE YOUTUBE CHANNEL IS A HAVEN OF ORIGINAL AND HUMOROUS CONTENT”

Goku and Devilled Egg are on opposite sides of the battlefield , at once they rush towards each other at an intense , powerful speed

However , they both fall over mid run

Monkey Paw - “Okay , this isn’t working - there’s only one way to solve this”

The Goku villain crashes into the battle field

“Not so fast”

Monkey Paw - “yep.”

Goku Villain - “ I cannot allow myself to give up , it is not the Jedi way”

Monkey paw - “yep.”

“Don’t you have something better to do?”

Goku Villain - “I was p

[miekasa]

random armin/mikasa/jean headcanons (college au)

↯ pairing: armin x (fem) reader, mikasa x (fem) reader, jean x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: college au, fluff, lets see how many times i can mention eren in writing that has absolutely nothing to do with him

↯ notes: this.... probably won’t be a regular thing, i don’t know that i can consistently continue writing for them, but this sure was fun and reminded me that i actually have feelings for someone other than levi :// didn’t ask for that, but here we are

ARMIN ARLERT

Would most likely get pretty good grades, but he can definitely be lazy about it and hear me out.

If it’s a class that he likes and is genuinely interested in (which is the majority of them), he’s going to put in the work—sometimes too much work—to make sure he’s doing well. He usually studies very meticulously, and stays on top of his game throughout the semester.

But if it’s one of those bs classes the university makes you take, or some kind of stupid elective that was the only course that could fit into his schedule? Well, Armin is smart enough to bullshit his way through anything, so he’s not going to exert himself for a class he doesn’t even care about. 

Oh, and he’s very vocal about complaining to you about said bullshit courses. (Completely justified, go off king).

“I swear sometimes the TA just lowers marks randomly to ‘keep the class average.’ Granted, I didn’t really study for the quiz, so I wasn’t expecting a stellar grade or anything, but I know they do that sometimes.” “Well, babe, why didn’t you study.” “Because I hate it, (Y/N).”

Like I said, takes school seriously and tries his best; but even he knows he doesn’t have to be at 100% all the time. It’s also kind of a flex how smart he is and how much he can get by on doing the absolute bare minimum.

Poor Connie is studying his ass off for their shared elective and Armin barely looked at the first page of the textbook, and he’ll probably get a 90 anyways.

Imagine he’s so caught up with his other classes, he actually forgets about a midterm for his stupid elective, and at first he’s freaking out, so you kind of have to remind him of who tf he is. You finally get him to relax and he blinks at you, “Oh right, I didn’t study because I didn’t have to haha nice.” 

Helps you prepare for presentations by letting you practice them in front of him. Actually gives good feedback, but sometimes he’s just watching you and not really listening.

Sometimes, you have to be the one to remind him to take a step back and take care of himself, before his schoolwork. He doesn’t like to worry you, and likely feels guilty when he sees you walking up to him in the library at 2am; so he won’t fight you on it, and just lets you help him pack up all his stuff and head home for the day.

Likes head massages. Maybe sometimes has faked a little bit of a headache to get you to massage his head and play with his hair. He’ll never tell.

If you rub his cheek while he’s laying on top of you, he will knock out like a baby. Almost immediately. It’s a surefire way to get him to go to sleep.

Schedules dates with you, and plans them out meticulously. Sometimes gets playful and sends you a whole ass e-vite.

“Armin, why do I have an email invitation for our date to the library?” “So that you don’t forget, of course.” “How could I forget, it’s later today, and you’re literally helping me study for my midterm.” “With popcorn!”

Probably the type to get a job on campus. You and your friends come to visit him when he’s on shift and annoy him. He secretly likes it.

Oh, he’s kind of shady. Scratch that, can be very shady. He complains about school to you, but also just complains to you in general; he doesn’t outwardly do that a lot, but you’re his confidant.

Sometimes you get surprised and call him out on it and you’re like “Oh my god, Armin, the poor girl didn’t mean to mess up the project,” and he’s like “Well. Sometimes people are idiots and it has to be said.”

Has a bad habit of rolling his eyes and he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. “Did you just roll your eyes at me.” “I don’t know, did I?” Bye.

His hands are always covered in some kind of ink/markings. Accidental brushes of his pens, streaks from his highlighters or markers, a little bit of lead from his pencil along the side of his palm.

Speaking of which, he strikes me as the kind of guy to keep a bullet journal. Not necessarily decked out and fancy with Polaroids and extravagant fonts; but definitely neat, and decorated to some extent, depending on how he’s feeling. It makes him feel organized.

He would pencil in important dates and markers of your relationship into said journal. “Friday night: museum date—remember to buy the tickets in advance.”

If anyone is going to buy, wash, peel, and cut up fruit for you, it’s going to be Armin.

Lowkey tutoring all of his friends, and might be the sole reason that Connie hasn’t dropped out yet. He likes tutoring you the most, though. 

Get this, sometimes he asks you to tutor him, even if he knows damn well he doesn’t need it. Maybe he’ll even sign up for a stupid elective if it’s a class you’ve taken before, just to have an excuse to get you to teach him something. 

Likes trying new things with you. He might not always like the new things that you try, but he’s open to trying them at least once. Well… most things anyways. Just don’t ask him to get up at dawn and go jogging with you.

I genuinely cannot tell if he would be a morning person or not. Maybe mid-morning. Probably not a rise-and-shine at 6am kind of guy, but is up by at least 10:00am every day. Very cute when he’s groggy though, and stumbles around a bit like a baby deer when he first gets up, especially if he’s hungry.

He likes to bike. And really likes when you go on bike rides with him. As long as you both are on your own bikes, you learned the hard way that tandem biking isn’t cut out for you.

Knows that all-nighters aren’t good for you, but sometimes you have to pull them anyways. If you both have a lot to get done, he’ll stay up with you and make sure you both take breaks and drink water.

Can twirl his pens in that really fast and fancy way, and can do the thing where he rolls it between all his fingers too. I’ll let you think bout the implications of that for yourself.

He likes watching cartoons, and reels you into all his favorites. Definitely likes to stay in on weekends watching cartoons with you and just chilling.

Will go to a party with you if you ask, or if his friends are hosting, but nothing beyond that. You didn’t hear this from me, but he’d probably like to smoke more than drink.

Sometimes you think he needs a break and you commission Eren to take him out for the night, but Armin still comes back looking more composed than him. A little sleepy and maybe a bit out of it, but not sloshed, much to your disappointment. “Eren, you really couldn’t have tried to be more a bad influence?? I was counting on you!!”

Eren’s confused, like, “Did you want me to get him white boy wasted??” “Yeah, kinda!! It’s what he deserves every once in a while. Ugh, next time I’m calling in Sasha, she knows how to drink.”

By the way, if you’re dating Armin, you’re kind of dating (or at least babysitting) Eren too. Or vice versa. Either way, they will also go on dates without you. (“Hanging out. We’re hanging out, and I’m tutoring him so he doesn’t fail Biology, (Y/N).” “Likely story, ocean eyes.”)

Can be touchy in a very absentminded way. He’ll reach out to play with your ears/earrings, habitually rub at your shoulders if you’re standing in front of him, mindlessly toy with the ends of your clothing. Half the time he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, he’s so cute.

Plays one sport—is on the soccer team. It keeps him busy, and forces him to focus on something that isn’t academics once in a while. He’s pretty good at it, too; he and Eren make a good team when they play together.

You and Eren tried to get him to join the baseball team too. Eren, because he likes playing with Armin. You, because, well… the uniforms. He would look so good in the uniform.

MIKASA ACKERMAN

Makes her classes look like a breeze, even though it’s at least 300 pages of reading and writing per week.

Kind of gives me Elle Woods “What, like it’s hard?” kind of vibes when it comes to schoolwork. You’re in awe of how she just did 75 pages of reading with a tiny ass font in one sitting, and she just blinks at you like “Was it supposed to be difficult?”

Speaking of which, she likes to read in general; for leisure, outside of her school work. She’ll recommend you books, too. If you don’t like to read, she’ll still try and rope you in with shorter stories, or just read them aloud to you herself. 

Sits at a table across from you while you both do your schoolwork independently. It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a quiet, almost implicit sense of intimacy that she really likes.

Bundles you up when it’s cold, and won’t take no for an answer. You will wear a hat, whether you like it or not.

Always prepared—and by that I mean, she carries things on her that she realizes you might need. Tissues, extra pens, an extra pair of mittens. She strikes me as the kind of person to pay attention to details like those.

Likes to walk you to class, even if her class is very far away from your building. She doesn’t mind.

On that note, she knows your schedule pretty well, where it pertains to classes and personal interests.

If you’re the type of person who can slack off or even just get caught up in other things when it comes to school work, she’ll be there to keep you on track and hold you accountable. Usually through setting aside times to study with you, but can even be through small things like asking you how your assignment is going.

(Nevermind that you completely forgot about the assignment, and hadn’t even started it—but that’s the point; she knew that).

Hear me out: holding pinkies. Maybe not when you’re walking, but when you’re seated next to each other. The longer you’re together, the more likely she is to initiate it, too.

Would rather study at home/in her apartment than in the library, but if you like to study there, she can compromise a few days out of the week.

Makes you playlists, and they’re usually really good, because she knows you so well. Sometimes she gets cute and customizes the cover art to a picture of the both of you.

She’s your ride or die, so if you complain to her about a prof you don’t like or a TA you don’t think is fair she’s 100% on your side. She might not always be able to do anything about it, but she’ll definitely let you complain to her.

Texts you throughout the day to check up on you, but usually disguised through other questions. Asks what you want/had for lunch when she’s really checking to make sure you ate. Asks you what time your lectures end, just to make sure you didn’t skip it (again). Asks you what time you’re going to be done studying to make sure you don’t stay up all night cramming again.

Takes a genuine interest in your courses, and absolutely loves to listen to you talk about them.

If your classes are vastly different, she’ll still try and help you however she can, even if it’s only in small ways, like proofreading something for you.

Doesn’t use emojis alot, so your contact doesn’t have a bunch of hearts next your name on anything. But she does put your last name in as Ackerman. 

Has social media, but mostly uses it to keep up with her friends, and you. You’re in most of the few pictures that she does post, and she might not say it, but she really likes it when you post photos of/with her. 

Not sure why, but I think she’d be a pretty decent artist if she tried. That trend of doing glass paintings on TikTok? I think she’d be into that, and would plan out the whole thing as a date with you.

Keeps up with all your favorite shows to talk about or watch them with you. Sometimes she’ll purposely miss a few episodes so that she can spend the night and marathon them with you.

Likes to stay in and drink cheap wine and just watch or talk about whatever with you. You could watch a terrible show just to laugh and comment on it the entire time and she would be so happy. 

Doesn’t like to sit down on public transportation, and honestly would rather you didn’t either, but she’s not going to stop you from taking a seat. If you’re sitting, she’ll stand in front of/over you, and always keeps wire headphones long enough for you to share music that way.

The most insufferable human when she’s sick and she knows it. She hates being sick. And she knows you shouldn’t be around her or else you might get sick but she also just wants you to hold her. (You do).

Likes to sleepover at your place. Talks with you about your day while you lay down. Always smells good. Very cuddly when sleepy. 10/10.

Hates the act of doing her laundry, but likes doing it with you. Lowkey starts buying and using the same detergent and fabric softener as you because it makes her smell like you.

Gets very embarrassed if you kiss her in public. Very red in the cheeks, it’s kind of cute, so I wouldn’t blame you if you did it on purpose.

JEAN KIRSTEIN

Jean is… quite smart, if you ask me. Or, at the very least, analytical, which can be applied to a variety of academic settings.

The only thing is, he’s incredibly lazy about it. He wants to do well in school, and can definitely pull himself together for a midterm or an exam; but is horrible at keeping pace with all his other work and assignments on a regular basis.

He also can’t sit still, which is why even though he is very kind and chivalrous and brings many snacks to your study sessions, he is also competing for number one worst study partner. Right next to Eren and Sasha.

Gets pouty when you tell him you don’t want to study with him. “But… but… but I brought snacks! And bubble tea!” “Yes, but you also have the attention span of a rabbit, Jean.”

At the end of the day he understands… that doesn’t mean he’s not going to be bitter about it LOLOL. It’s fine, you can make it up to him by hanging out with him afterwards.

Is, like, classically trained in at least two instruments because his mom put him in lessons as a child. He used to hate it growing up, and he doesn’t practice much now, so he never talks about it.

One day you happen to mention something about comparing two songs, telling him they remind you of each other but you don’t know exactly why or why, and very nonchalantly he’s like, “They sound similar because they share the same major chord in the chorus, and they’re in the same key.” 

And you just kind of blink at him like, “Okay, Beethoven. How. How did you know that.”

Once you realize he can, like, actually play the piano and violin really well you’re always begging him to play for you. It doesn’t happen often—it’s not like he owns a violin anymore and he certainly doesn’t have a grand piano in his shitty college apartment—but sometimes you sneak into the music room when it’s empty and he’ll play something for you.

He’s a romantic at heart, so he doesn’t mind, and if anything kind of enjoys you watching him play. It’s much better than playing for random parents in a recital. You’re dead if you ever mention it to any of his friends though.

Also not a frat boy, but definitely likes to party. Everything with reason. If he crushed a midterm on Thursday, he deserves to throw back a few beers on Friday night, you know?

Touchy when he’s drunk. Well, touchier than normal; he’d be the most affectionate out of every one on a regular basis. But he’s touchy and messy when he’s drunk, so he’s all over you.

Messy, but happy. All smiles and giggles and red cheeks, with his arm around your shoulder, boasting you anybody who will listen about his super hot girlfriend.

He and Eren throw the best parties when they team up together. (Only slightly related, but those two, when drunk together, could probably pass as a couple; they’re so uncharacteristically happy, and affectionate. You may or may not be keeping some photo and video evidence of Eren and Jean drunk cuddling).

Sends you videos when you’re in the middle of class. And only then. He plans it to be annoying. Because he is annoying.

Also always sending you those in-messsage games while you’re in the middle of lecture or studying. “PLEASE play virtual pool with me!! I’ll even let you win one round!!” “I AM TRYING TO LEARN!!” “LEARN LATER 😡😡😡”

A fucking fiend in your Instagram comments. It’s a miracle none of them have been removed or reported for inappropriate content. Replies to OTHER people’s comments complimenting YOU!! He’s so much

@sashabraus: aww you look so cute @youruser!! that color looks so good on you 💕 @jeannotjean: omg omg tysm @sashabraus 😊 i picked it myself @youruser: SHE WAS TALKING TO ME @jeannotjean!!! ME!!! @jeannotjean: @youruser you have no proof 🙄 @youruser: SHE USED MY @!!!! GET OUT OF MY COMMENTS!!! @jeannotjean: you’re so hot when you yell at me via insta comments 🥵🥵🥵 would it be better if i slid into your dm’s instead 😫😫😉 @youruser: @jeannotjean BLOCKED!! EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!!

You try explaining your coursework to him and he’s just looking at you with puppy dog eyes like, “I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about, babe, but you look hot while doing it, so, please, continue.”

He’s another cocky annoying bastard (endearing). Always tilting you head up to look at him and smirk at you. Pisses you off just to put his arm around your shoulder and be like, “It’s okay, I know you love me anyways.” Winks at you in public just to embarrass you. He’s the worst. The worst.

King of picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder for absolutely no reason at all.

He lowkey wants to get an ear piercing and uses you to talk him into it. “Don’t you think I’d look hot with a piercing? I think I would.” “You would look good regardless, Jean. So, do it if you want to.” “Right. But, like.... do you think I would look hot.”

For as annoying and cocky as he can be, the second you actually genuinely tell him you think he’s attractive or talented or whatever, he gets kind of shy. It’s very cute. 

Likes trying new restaurants with you, even though he really should stop spending all his money on food. Sometimes trying new restaurants means ordering from a new place, but it’s whatever, you know.

Honestly… the two of you would probably have a ridiculously high Uber Eats bill. You really should go outside and, like, be people every once in a while LOLOL

Okay, but it’s mostly Jean’s fault. For as much as he likes to party, and doesn’t mind hosting a party, he doesn’t do much beyond that. He hangs out with his/your friends, and with you, obviously, but he’s not the kind of guy to have his weekend booked up all the time.

He would much rather stay in with you, and talk trash about his stupid group project partners, and lay on your stomach and try to teach you how to play his favorite video games.

Spoiler: he fucking lies and/or leaves out key parts of the gameplay!! Just so he can crush you and laugh about it!! Annoying, but you’re the one keeping him around, so, who can you really blame but yourself.

[acahope311]

Silver Lining

Sleepover Request

luna-xial said: So so so I see you have requests open due to your sleepover (also Ohmygosh congratulations!!) and I was wanting to ask if you could do something with Kili for the fluff prompt list, #3??? ❤️❤️ (if not that’s okay, I just wanted to request something because your writing is so good 🥺❤️) (“(She/he/they) don’t compare to you. No one does.”)

A/N Wow! This one is a doozy. I loved writing this, Kili has always been one of my favorite characters, and the prompt lead to so many directions but I chose to do one where angst was not an option🥺 Thank you so much for sending this in @luna-xial and participating in the sleepover 🥰

*I wanted to thank @guardianofrivendell for double-checking my writing and making sure I knew the difference between "pinning" and "pining" LMFAO!*

Warnings: none? I guess self-doubt?

Erebor was bustling. What once was a dormant and abandoned mountain, a reminder of dwarven greed, now symbolized second chances, wealth, and life. Dwarves from the Blue Mountains were flocking to the mountain, some were those who never thought they would live to see the Lonely Mountain rise from the horizon, the rest were ambitious young dwarrows hoping to start anew. Men were also moving back to Dale, revitalizing the growing community in the shadow of the great mountain- of course, King Bard and his family oversaw the restoration of the city and personally welcomed the new arrivals. Whilst similarly in Erebor, Thorin himself rolled up his sleeves and took to reconstructing the home of his forefathers- his Company by his side. Which were quite a sight to see as thirteen dwarves, a hobbit, and a woman all lifted, chiseled, and swept away rubble, ash, and dirt. Little by little, the fruits of labor began to show and soon the rock-hewn walls seemed to sing the history of the mountain and once the mountain was unearthed, the new dwarves were settled in. You found you had more time to explore the mountain. The grand stone walls of Erebor encased your miniature frame. Funny enough, being a human woman you were head and shoulders taller than most dwarves, but the walls and statues made you shrink. As you quietly made your way through the halls, you’d occasionally run into a group of dwarrow, warm pleasantries were exchanged and small talk was exchanged. Once the mountain was more established and a trade agreement was founded, Thorin had appointed you as a live-in ambassador to Dale and Mirkwood, much to his chagrin. At first living in the mountain had a rocky start, Durin’s folk were always wary of strangers- especially from another race, but once you had proven yourself time and time again, you were welcomed with open arms. However, some still were reluctant to see you as an ally, making it a point to sometimes emphasize your foreignness. Yet you never held it against them but had always put it up to jealousy, for not only were you the woman who accompanied and aided in the quest to reclaim the Lonely Mountain alongside Thorin Oakenshield, but you were very close to the Durin princes-- especially Kili. From the moment you and Kili met, the Company knew you were both trouble. Being both the youngest in the group meant mischief that even Fili had to take a step back to make sure you two were not in over your heads. At first, it was all fun and games, but somewhere along the line, you realized that he meant so much more to you than a friend; you loved him. You’d carried this torch with you throughout the whole quest and although you’d hoped it would extinguish, his sunlight smiles, friendly touches, and adoring eyes fanned the flames of your feelings- it didn’t help that he would always make time to end every night in conversation with you. As time went on, even Fili could see your pining and couldn’t help but smile fondly knowing that you and his brother held mutual feelings but were just too blinded by their infatuation for each other to realize the truth.

One day, at the training grounds when you and Fili were free from your duties, the golden prince set his plan into action. As he stood by the side, he seemed to be lost in thought- reliving an earlier conversation he had with his brother.

“Fi, what do I do?” Kili wailed, sitting in front of his brother as he patiently waited for him to comb his hair. Fili sighed, he knew that wail very well.

“Whatever do you mean, brother dear?” He said teasingly while pulling on a particularly tough knot. Resisting the tugs, Kili began to rant.

“You know what I mean. What do I do about y/n? I want to start the courting process, even Uncle thinks it’s a good idea, but I am so lost… I don’t even know if she returns my feelings.” Kili’s head droops a little at the thought of you not loving him the same way. Fili chuckles at his expense, the sound causing Kili to huff in faux indignation. “I’m glad you’re having a good laugh at my expense brother.”

“Forgive me nadad, but that is such a crazy notion. She loves you, I can see it in the way she lights up when you’re in the room, did you know that?” He says as he continues to untangle the knots in his raven hair.

“Truly?” Kili asks with a little more pep in his tone.

“Truly. You’d think Mahal himself walked into the room with the way her eyes brighten.” Fili smiles as he remembers how in an earlier discussion between you and him, your whole demeanor changed the moment his brother came into the room- like a plant being watered after a drought.

“Do not doubt, brother. She loves you fiercely.” With a reassuring pat on Kili’s shoulder, Fili stands and prepares himself for the day.

“But for Mahal’s sake, fix your hair. I’m sure even she wouldn’t want a prince with a rat’s nest for hair. Amad will shave you if you keep that up!” Fili said as he saw Kili ruffle his hard work.

“I know that! But I also know she’ll love me if I am as smooth as a newborn bairn. She said she loved my hair once on the quest, just before we all fell asleep.” He swooned at the memory. “You don’t understand Fi. I think she is the one, MY One. And I want to do right by her.” Kili’s eyes shone with determination. Speechless, Fili stares at his brother. Then laughs a hearty laugh, confusing Kili.

“What’s so funny?!” He asks, a bit embarrassed. Fili wipes the tears away as he controls his breathing.

“Nothing bad, it’s just that… You truly can find the good in anything! It wasn’t but a moment ago that you were wailing about her not loving you and now you’re declaring her your One.” Fili explains, again brushing his little brother’s hair.

“Oh… Brother, I only do that because of her. She always sees the positive side of everything- and I want to be like that to her. But I can’t do this on my own. Will you help me?” Kili asks timidly. Fili stops and looks directly at him,

“Of course.”

The sound of wood splintering brings Fili back to the present. You ended up breaking the wooden pole and looking sheepishly at him. Sighing fondly, he helps you find a replacement. Once a new one has taken its place, you resume your training while Fili observes.

“You know.” Fili inquired, breaking the silence. “You seem to be so skilled with the sword. Have you tried other weapons?” As you attack a wooden post, the question causes you to pause mid-swing. Pondering this, a small flush creeps onto your face. Suddenly shy, you look down.

“I have been wanting to learn how to shoot a bow…” You whisper as a certain dark-haired prince’s visage of letting loose a quiver of arrows flash in your mind. “I’d always admired how Kili could so quickly nock an arrow and aim with such precision in such a short amount of time. All with a smile, did you know that? That cheeky cub.” You said smiling unknowingly.

Fili smirked. “Now, why would you want to learn how to use a bow, y/n?” he asks- already knowing the answer. As you squirm uncomfortably under his questioning, the silence stretches out. After what seems to be a lifetime, you look up and answer with a determined gleam in your eye.

“Because I want to impress Kili.” You say softly, but resolutely. The answer stuns Fili into silence. After a heartbeat of silence, you continue.

“I know I am not of royal or noble descent. Nor am I rich- I’m not even a dwarf! But I do truly love your brother. I cannot offer much but I would like to start by offering the time to get to better understand his favorite weapon.” You pause, unsure whether you should continue, but you push on. “From what I understand, weaponry and skills are an important part of dwarven courtship, and I would like to take that chance… I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Your brother is worth that chance-- and if nothing comes from it, I at least can say that I tried. ” A loving look passes your face, reminding him of the times you all sat around the fire and listened to his brother’s stories- already he knew you had fallen hard. ‘She always sees the positive side of everything’, Kili’s voice resonates in his mind.

“But I am still a novice in this… So I may need your help?” You conclude, less confident than what you meant. Exhaling in relief, Fili smiles and turns around. At first, you are worried that you’d insulted him, but when he returns promptly with a bow and a quiver of arrows, your face breaks into a grin.

“I’d gladly teach you,” Fili says proudly as he hitches his belt. You nod and reach for the bow, but at the last minute, he pulls away.

“But I can think of a better teacher, right brother?” A chuckle resonates from the sidelines behind you. Turning around, you see Kili walking towards you, smiling. He reaches for the bow and arrows from Fili and knocks foreheads softly.

“Thank you.” Fili pulls away and nods, as he moves to the exit he passes by you and winks.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Silently, the golden prince leaves the training area- leaving you alone with Kili. Turning to him, you can't help but notice your heartbeat so fast that you're sure he can hear it. The silence grows as you both stare at each other until he clears his throat

"I know Fili may have said that I'd be a better teacher, but I will be honest… I don't think I am." He confesses as he subconsciously nocks an arrow and pierces the wooden post.

"I learned by example, but I will teach you everything I know and by the end of the day, you'd be the best archer in all of Erebor." He says sweetly. "Well… second best. After me of course." Correcting himself. You gasp at his cheekiness and punch his shoulder playfully.

"Alright, alright. Let's get this lesson started."

Several hours passed, and so had several arrows yet not one hit the target. You were out of breath, your arms shaking so much you could barely lift the bow. Kili looked over you, took in the sight of your sweaty form and shaking arms. He sat on the ground with a thump- the sound surprising you.

"Kili? Are you alright?" You asked worriedly, kneeling down next to him.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, not looking at you. Confused, you take his hand into yours and begin to rub his arm comfortingly.

"What do you mean? No need to apologize, you're a great teacher- I'm just a bad student hahaha!" You joke. However, Kili shakes his head.

"No, I'm a better teacher than this, it's just that I am distracted…" he admits, further confusing you. Kili continues, "I heard what you said with Fili." Shocked, you ask, "How much did you hear…?" You look down, unable to meet his eyes.

"All of it." Your shoulders droop in dismay. Ashamed, you begin to pull away, but his grip tightens.

"You don't need to be anything for me, y/n. I don't need a princess nor do I need a lady- I just need you." Kili's confession snaps your eyes to his.

"You don't mean that." You respond, barely a whisper. Your eyes fall on your lap once again, but Kili tilts your chin up so your eyes stare into his deep brown eyes.

"I do, amrâlimê. With every ounce of my being." He smiles the smile that can make even the darkest nights seem like morning. Still, clouds of doubt linger.

"I came from nothing, Kili… You are a prince, there are so many other dwarrowdams, clothed and draped with gems and gold- I cannot compare to that. You deserve-" Suddenly you're pulled forward and silenced as his lips meet yours. At first, Kili seems hesitant, giving you enough time to pull away, but to his relief, you begin to kiss him back. Your hand reaches up and caresses his cheek, while his free hand pulls you in closer, deepening the kiss. For a moment, the clouds break and all thoughts of doubt leave your mind, replaced by a feeling of wholeness-- as though you had found a half you'd never known you'd lost. Reluctantly, however, you both pull away to breathe but bring your foreheads together, basking in each other's presence- time begins to move again.

"My heart belongs to no one except to you, y/n. You are my One and I love you. Don't worry about them; they cannot compare to you. No one can." He breathes, cupping your face in both his hands. Unbeknownst to you, tears trail down your eyes.

"But-" He kisses you again, softly. Brushing away any second thoughts you'd have.

"No buts. Do you know why they don't compare? It's because, in the end, I know they will only want me for my title and gold. But you?" He wipes your tears away and smiles lovingly at you. "You love me for me. You'd seen me at my highs and lows. Moreover, you always show me the bright side of everything, ghivashel. They can keep their gems and golden gowns. For you are my silver lining." With that, Kili pulls you into a tight hug and all you can do is smile as the clouds of doubt break. Assuring you that come what may, no matter what clouds your thoughts, Kili's love for you is true, and will always show you the bright side- he is your silver lining.

[littlerockerao3]

I don’t know if you’re still taking requests but if you are, I’d like 94 💕

Hi. Do you remember you sent me this ages ago? I’m sorry.

94. “Did they hurt you?”

Trigger warnings: mentions of abuse (doesn’t happen but they wonder what if it did), mentions of spiked drinks and Robb is such a gift in this it hurts so I think this count as a trigger warning as well.

~~~

Robb really doesn’t know how he managed to keep still all night. Sure, he didn’t get any sleep at all, but it’s a pretty impressive result that he didn’t jump out of bed in the middle of the night to do what he’s doing right now. He admits that this is all he was waiting for: if he couldn’t let it out yesterday immediately the moment it happened then he might as well do it now.

He realises, as he hits the punching bag one more time, that his anger is still boiling in his veins just as fast as yesterday. He throws another punch. He just can’t keep the scene out his mid. He hits the bag again. Theon who can’t even stand up on his own, drinks spilled all over the dirty living room, Skinner keeping Theon’s arms behind his back to prevent him from moving (like he was strong enough to defend himself), Ramsay’s hand clasped around Theon’s throat and jaw. Theon shaking his head and mumbling something. Robb seeing all this through the window and literally smashing it with the first thing he found to break in.

He throws another punch. Then another. Then another. And then another one.

He can barely hear the so familiar voice calling his name.

“Robb.”

The other night, Theon called his name as well. Though he sounded much more relieved than he is now: now he’s concerned, worried. But Robb just can’t seem to stop his hands from hitting the bag.

“Robb!” Theon yells again. “Hey!”

Robb is one hundred per cent sure the next punch he’s going to throw will break the chain the punching bag is hanging onto. Thought the way Theon reaches over to rest his hand between his shoulder and neck causes his arm to stop midway.

“Calm down.” Theon whispers. Robb’s breath is uneven as he tries to clench his fist even more inside his boxing gloves. “You need to calm down”.

Robb turns his attention away from the red punching bag, slowly, and intensely stares at Theon, “Did they hurt you?”

Cause the thing is, Robb doesn’t exactly know what happened yesterday, cause Theon just won’t tell him. He just knows they were at Renly’s party fighting over something stupid (they’ve been fighting a lot lately) and Theon just left with Ramsay. Robb can’t find a reason to explain why Ramsay was there, it’s not like Renly despises him less than everybody else in the world does. He doesn’t despise him as much as Robb does, of course, but that’s because no one can, not even Theon, who has more reasons to.

“When will you stop asking me?” Theon sighs, hands on his hips. Robb stares deeply into his eyes and replies, firmly, “The moment you’ll answer sincerely”.

That’s all he knows and remembers: them fighting at Renly’s party, Theon moving away from him and spending the rest of the party with anybody but him, Robb seeing Theon talking to Ramsay, Robb reminding himself how Ramsay has always tried to get to Theon and how Ramsay has a history for spiking drinks at parties. Theon leaving with him. Robb calling for him, Theon ignoring him. Theon and Ramsay and Skinner getting into some car and Robb rushing to his own, cursing himself for parking it so far away. He’s just grateful Ramsay was stupid enough to take Theon to his own place and that Robb guessed where they would have been right. Who knows what would have happened if Robb didn’t get there. He doesn’t want to think about it, but the moment they came home, Robb with blood stained hands and Theon all trembling, Robb just couldn’t stop thinking about it.

He’s been to nice to Ramsay and Skinner by only punching them a couple times before Theon stopped him. They deserved worse. And that’s all he can think of now that he’s looking at Theon’s face, cause he still looks so scared and shaken and who knows how many days are going to go by before he stops looking like that.

“It’s complicated” he mumbles.

“It’s not.” Robb shakes his head and proceeds to grab the strap of his glove between his teeth and pull it open, “It’s a simple answer, yes or no”.

He removes the other gloves with his free hand and throws both of them on the table nearby. He wants to go back punching that bag so bad. He needs to pretend he’s actually punching Ramsay.

“They didn’t.” Theon whispers at some point, “They couldn’t. You came before they could do anything”.

But they could have, they would have and that’s just something Robb can’t let slip away.

“You should have let me beat the shit out of them” he says, stepping forward to let his nose brush against Theon’s: he must be gentle with him, so that can calm both of them down.

Theon reaches over to brush Robb’s sweaty curls away from his forehead, and smiles lightly, “I’ve already paid your bail once.”

Robb wants to smile in return, cause he knows that would make Theon happier, but he just cannot remove those images from his head. Theon notices that, cause he’s not stupid and also, cause he doesn’t want to focus on what’s going on with himself, therefore he’s focusing on what’s going on with Robb. He grabs Robb’s hand and pulls him gently towards him, “Come on, let’s just… go out on a walk with Grey Wind, that also relaxes you.”

It does, but it works only if he’s stressed. It works if he’s scared of failing some test, it works if he’s scared of the results of some random medical stuff turn out to be bad, it works if he’s sad. It doesn’t work if he’s mad angry. He needs to hit something. He would hit something, if Theon didn’t grab his hand, “Robb. Please”.

“They need to get what they deserve” he mutters between his teeth. He can’t even manage to speak properly, he’s just craving to destroy everything until he’s calmed down.

Theon’s hands rest on his jaws, fingertips gently brushing against his beard. “Don’t think about it”.

“How can I not think about it?!” Robb snaps, “Ramsay spiked your drink, who knows what else he could have done to you!”

He’s said that out loud and that just makes things worse. It makes it even more real, more real than seeing it with his own eyes. And more real than experiencing it, cause that’s exactly what Theon’s face is suggesting. But the way he’s shrugging makes it look like he’s trying not to make it look like such a big deal, “I’m okay, cause you were there”.

But what if he wasn’t?

“But what if I wasn’t?! What if I didn’t make it there on time?! How can you be fine with doing nothing after what happened?!” If it was up to Robb, they would have gone to the police yesterday night. But Theon wanted to go home and Robb thought he looked too shaken to do anything else, no matter how much he tried to deny that. Though today it looks like all that trying to pretend to be alright yesterday night has exhausted Theon to the point that he can’t keep pretending, today.
“Cause I’m scared.” He whispers, eyes looking at the tip of his shoes. “I’m scared no one would believe me and Ramsay will get mad at me for trying to do something”.

Robb’s stare softens. Deep inside, he hates to admit that, but he knows Theon’s fear is not random. It’s actually pretty normal: Ramsay has been spiking people’s drinks since Robb can remember and he’s still doing that. It can only mean that nobody has ever done something to stop him.

“Come here.” Robb tells his boyfriend, before wrapping his arms around him. This is one of those times where he wishes he was taller than Theon, so that he could kiss his forehead without him having to bend down his neck. Instead, he just kisses his neck and rubs wide circles on his back. He can feel Theon’s tired breath against his skin, he can feel how stressed out and scared he is. And he doesn’t want this.

“You’re not the only one who had to go through that and you’re not the only one who was too scared to do something.” He begins, then he cups his face in between his hands, “Maybe we could convince some of these people who’ve been there to sue Ramsay and the others too. Maybe someone is going to do something if they see how many people went through that shit”.

Sansa knows a girl, Robb is sure of that. Renly knows someone too. So does Loras. This could work.

Theon doesn’t answer for a bit, and when he does, it’s not exactly the answer Robb was looking forward to hear, “Can I think about it?”

But it’s a start.

“Of course” he kisses his lips, softly, cause softness is what Theon needs more than ever right now. Robb is sure he will never forget the way Theon didn’t dare get away from Robb’s chest not even in his sleep, last night. Robb is relieved by the way Theon kisses him back just as softly, his hands still caressing his beard. His eyes look a little less sad when they part.

“I could really fancy a walk outside with Grey Wind though” Theon says, shrugging.

Robb nods, “Sure. Sure, we can go right now.”

At first he doesn’t get why Theon is chuckling, but god does he love that sound?

“Take a shower first, you stink” Theon smirks, then proceeds to ruffle his hair. Robb smiles in return and almost opens his mouth to ask him to join him, but realises that might not be the right thing to say right now just in time. So he grabs Theon’s hand before walking past him, and squeezes it reassuringly. It’s going to be okay, I’m here and I’ll help, I’ll do everything I can and more, that squeeze says. And it’s only when he can read in Theon’s eyes and small shy smiles that he gets it, that he knows that, that Robb allows himself to let go of him.

Robb can’t help but smile at Theon petting Grey Wind behind his ears, the big wolf happily wagging his tail.

“Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy? It’s you, yes it’s you!”

Grey Winds barks once, then jumps on Theon and licks his face, causing him to rest on the grass on his back. Robb leans against the tree they’re sitting under, and whistles once to get the big dog’s attention, “Grey, come here boy.”

Grey Wind jumps on Robb’s lap. He’s no longer a puppy and doesn’t fit in there anymore but he doesn’t care. Neither does Robb.

He takes the small package of dog biscuits from his jacket and lends one over Grey Wind’s mouth, “Here, have a treat for being such a good boy. The best of all”.

He’s noticed how Theon looks happier if he has Grey Wind to play with, and something tells him he’s going to sleep in the bed with them too, tonight.

“See?” Theon sits down next to Robb and hugs his side, “Going on a walk with your dog and your unbelievably sexy boyfriend is way better than hitting a punching bag”

He pecks his cheek and Robb turns around to do the same, “How are you doing, Thee?”

Theon sighs lightly. He grabs Robb’s hand, and tries to put on the best reassuring smile he can give him, “I try not to think about it. Grey Wind helps”.

“Oh, I can see that” Robb snorts a laugh, and Grey Wind proceeds to lick his cheek too, before abandoning his lap to go and rest on Theon’s.

His boyfriend smiles, this time it looks more real. “Not my fault you picked the best puppy”.

Robb knows he shouldn’t keep pressuring him about what happened, but he needs to tell him one more thing. One more, then he’ll stop and will try and find other ways to help Theon, if talking about now that he’s still so shaken about it is not the right thing to do. He just needs to tell him one more thing. He brushes his nose against Theon’s, before he says, softly, “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but whenever you think you need something, don’t hesitate and come to me and tell me. Don’t be ashamed. I’m here for you”.

He expects Theon to tense up, but he doesn’t. He just smiles some more and pecks his lips gently. “I know. You picked the best puppy, but I picked the best boyfriend.”

Robb chuckles. He’s glad Theon is feeling at ease at least around him: if he does, then it means it’s going to be easier for him to let Robb help him.

“So did I. I have good taste” Robb kisses his boyfriend’s lips, just a small kiss, no tongue. He suddenly can’t wait to go back home so they can snuggle on the couch.

Theon brushes their noses against each other again when they part, it’s something he likes to do. Sometimes he kisses Robb’s nose too, other times he even bites it lightly, and that often leads to sexy times.

God, if Robb will ever see Ramsay again he’s sure as hell he’ll go to prison for what he’ll do to him. It’s not fair that Theon looks this way and the only consequence Ramsay has faced is just a simple broken nose.

“Do you feel like… do you feel like renting a movie tonight?”

Theon’s voice brings Robb back to Earth. If Grey Wind is Theon’s solution to calm down, then Theon is Robb’s.

“I know we technically are subscribed to every streaming service but we used to do that a lot when we were younger” the dark haired young man goes on, a light shade of red painting his sharp cheekbones.

Robb nods, and extends a hand to brush Theon’s hair behind his ear, “Yeah, of course. That sounds amazing.”

Theon blushes even harder and Robb just wants to wrap his arms around him, hide under a blanket and stay like that til the end of times.

“Tell you what, let’s go to the grocery store and let’s get all kind of sweets. Then we’ll go pick the movie” he suggests, standing up.

Theon stand up as well and grabs his hand. He winks, “Sounds like a plan.”

They’re halfway through Hocus Pocus, cuddling on the couch. The coffee table in front of them is filled with popcorn bowls and chocolate snacks. Grey Wind is snorting beside them and they’re wrapped in the big warm woollen blanket crocheted and gave them as a gift when they first moved to their own place. And Theon suddenly squeezes Robb’s arm.

“Hey.” He whispers shyly.

“Yeah?” Robb turns away from the tv and worries the moment he sees the frown on his face, “Love, are you okay?”

Theon takes a deep breath, but still manages to look at him straight in the eyes, as he says, “You feel like going with me to the police tomorrow?”

Now it’s like the knot on Robb’s throat has been untied. Yes. Yes yes yes.

“Of course.” He breaths out in relief. “Of course”.

He takes Theon’s face in his hands but lets him kiss him first. He drags him on his lap, keeps wrapping the blanket around them till it fully envelopes them. Theon wraps his arms around Robb’s neck. He’s going to be fine, he will be. Robb will do all he can to make sure of that.

That’s all he can think of, even right before falling asleep, Theon’s head resting on his chest, Grey Wind right next to them on the bed.

[ikeromantic]

The Greatest Harm

A Mitsuhide Akechi fanfiction, approx. 1700 words - this scene takes place around the mid-point of Ch. 12 in the romantic route!

First: Mitsuhide and the Maiden

Previous: Unexpected Gifts

Kennyo stood in the doorway for a moment, watching the girl. She was knelt down, cleaning one of the tanegashima. Vital, if you intended it to fire later. But seeing her, a creature of peace, cradling an instrument of death, was strange.

His lips twisted into a bitter smile. As if he, a monk turned demon, had any ground to criticize. This world made monsters of them all. Even kind little girls who still shuddered at the thought of harming someone.

The abbot cleared his throat to let her know he was there. “Neither Mitsuhide nor Motonari have returned?”

She still gave a little jump at the sound of his voice. “Ah! No! I mean - no, not yet.”

Kennyo entered the room. As he did, the girl’s posture stiffened. The muscles in her shoulders bunched tight, and her jaw clenched. Not an inappropriate reaction to a demon, but it still made him feel a spike of shame. For whatever reason, he did not want this girl to fear him. Perhaps Ranmaru’s reports were to blame. Yes. They’d given him an idealistic portrait of the chatelaine. One that couldn’t be wholly accurate.

He frowned at her and at his own reaction. Best to get to the point. “I’ve found the shogun. He is hiding with a daimyo just outside of Kyoto. Take note.”

She set the tanegashima aside and stood. Then hurried to the desk to pull out paper, brush and ink. “Ready!”

The abbot sat as far from her as he could. Perhaps with distance between them she would . . . Kennyo didn’t finish the thought. He set his staff down and adjusted his robes. “My informants spoke with several servants of the daimyo, confirming that he had a guest. The descriptions match, and one overheard the name Ashikaga.” He continued, providing the level of detail he knew Mitsuhide would require to plan, pausing as he went to give the girl time to write.

She smiled as she took down his report. A lock of hair fell forward on to her cheek, and she pushed it back, leaving a little ink smear in its place.

Kennyo was reminded of the children he’d taught at the temple. It made him want to protect her - to tell her to leave while she could, lest her innocence be tainted by the likes of him, the kitsune, and their pirate accomplice.

Of course he said none of those things. But he could not help falling into memory of better times.

When he finished, the chatelaine looked up at him to confirm there was no more to write.

“That is everything. You did well.” His cheeks ached as his lips turned up in a soft, paternal smile. An expression he had not worn in so long that his body had forgotten what it felt like.

The girl blushed and ducked her head. “Ah, it - it wasn’t anything special.”

Kennyo watched her reaction. Humility, gratitude for the compliment . . . He was struck again by the strangeness of finding someone like her here. Though he knew it was wiser to simply leave, he could not help but ask. “Why has a woman like you twined your fate with that of the kitsune?” He leaned forward, locking his gaze with hers. “You will never have an easy life with him.”

Though she could have, the chatelaine did not break eye contact. She gave a small, gentle smile. “He’s more important to me than being comfortable.”

“You unfortunate creature.” Kennyo sighed. “You cannot know all of the atrocities he has committed. The horrors done by his hand or at his behest.”

The girl’s shoulders straightened. “Mitsuhide makes no secret of his past. I learned about the things he has done when he trained me. I accept him just as he is - his horrible side and his gentleness together. I don’t separate the people I love into pieces and decide which parts are worthy and which not.”

It was, Kennyo had to admit, a good answer. And an unexpected one. Yet . . . how could a woman love someone with so much blood on his hands? It was like a compassionate spirit holding to a demon. An impossibility. “I cannot understand you.”

She did not answer, and Kennyo felt the gap between them grow wider. Perhaps there simply was no answer.

The abbot stood. “Forgive me young lady.” It had to be said, but he could admit in this moment, some regret. “I understand, at least, how important that man is to you. But one day I will come for his life.”

Kennyo expected her to be angry, or perhaps frightened. But she only shook her head and smiled. “You can’t have it, you know.”

He did not want her to see his stunned expression, or the battle in his soul. Kind monk and demon, twisting his heart until it bruised and tore. The abbot turned and left, hurrying down the stairs and into the unforgiving light of the bright, afternoon sun.

***

Mitsuhide toyed with the letter in his hands, folding and unfolding it. He had no right to destroy it, but if he burned it and only he knew . . . No. He’d promised his little mouse as much honesty as he could manage.

“Most beautiful flower, I will treasure your letter until the day my heart stops, and perhaps not even then.” The opening line caught his eye. Again. Yoshimoto was good with words. At least, compliments and confessions aside, the Imagawa clan leader agreed to their plan.

The forces of Azuchi and Echigo would meet in mock battle for a time. Long enough to draw the shogun’s eyes. The letters confirming the plan were already enroute, and the rumors set to burn their way to Ashikaga’s ears. With luck, it would be enough to give them an opening. And with more luck than he had any right to, the false conflict would not lead to unnecessary casualties.

“I can see your sweet spirit in the curves of ink, and feel your kind heart through every word.”

Well, perhaps one casualty would be alright.

Mitsuhide folded the letter up and stuck it in his pocket. Reading it again was not . . . beneficial. He would deliver it to his little one, as asked.

When he returned to their rooms, his little one was waiting for him. Her smile and “Welcome home!” was like warm sake to a chilled body. Mitsuhide walked to her and put his arms around her waist. He pulled her close for a kiss, and in the taste of her lips, he lost himself for just a few, sweet moments.

“I missed you,” she sighed and laid her head on his chest when their kiss ended. He hoped she could not hear how fast she made his heart beat.

“And I, you.” He took the letter out and looked at its deep-creased folds. Then, with a steadying breath, he held it out to her. “This arrived for you.”

His little mouse took the letter. “What? What’s this about?”

“It is from Yoshimoto.” He schooled his expression to neutrality, hiding his unhappiness at handing the missive over.

“Oh? Does this mean -”

Mitsuhide nodded. “He communicated our proposal to Echigo and they have accepted. Azuchi has already mustered troops and marches now to the agreed upon location.”

She looked to the desk and back to him. “Kennyo was by earlier. He left information on Ashikaga’s whereabouts. Do you want to read it?”

“I will. Later. I am sure it only confirms what Kyubei discovered. The shogun is hiding so near to us that -” he stopped, realizing the import of the rest of his words. He would need to leave. Tonight, or maybe dawn, at the latest. His throat closed tight and for a moment, Mitsuhide felt he couldn’t breathe. He would be leaving her here, alone. While he went to assassinate Ashikaga. He might not come back. Anything could happen to her while he was away . . .

“Love, what is it?” His little one could feel the tension in him, and sense his sudden anxiety. She dropped the letter she held to reach for him. Yoshimoto’s words fell to the ground, forgotten.

There was no avoiding it. He had his duty. And if he failed, more than his life or hers were forfeit. Mitsuhide looked at her and forced himself to relax, to breathe. “We will depart tonight. And I won’t return until the shogun is no more.”

She took a shaky breath. “Tonight is - is so soon!”

He smiled gently and tapped the tip of her nose. “Don’t look so sad. Didn’t I tell you that all I want is to know you are smiling, far from the conflict. Safe and happy.”

“I know.”

His little one still looked miserable. Mitsuhide sighed. This was more difficult than he anticipated. For himself and for her. He gently lowered her to the floor, and pulled her back against his chest. She tried to turn her head to look at him but he stopped her with a kiss just below her ear. “All I want you to worry about while I am gone is yourself. The greatest harm I could ever suffer would be leaving -”

The words wouldn’t come. Just thinking of her hurt left his mind in turmoil and his heart a gaping hole.

She turned until she could see him, and this time he let her. Though it wasn’t good for her to see such need in his eyes. He had to be strong - for her - and keep smiling. His little one didn’t speak, but she ran her fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his face. And traced a fingertip along his jaw.

“I should consult with Kennyo and Motonari before I leave,” he said, words and heart pulling against each other.

“All right.” Her hand dropped away from him, and she stood. “I’ll get you packed.”

Mitsuhide wanted to say more. He wanted to pull her back into his lap and kiss her. Wanted more than that . . . to touch and taste her every curve, and imprint those memories in his mind so that, in his time away he could relive this night.

But she was already walking to the desk. Her back to him.

“I’ll return soon.”

His little one nodded, and glanced toward him as he walked to the door. Her eyes were damp and wide. Holding back tears. Again.

Next: Strength

[dangermousie]

Look at those arms! MMMMM!

You know, I really like Gilina. Or, more correctly, I really like what Gilina represents, both in terms of Crichton’s development and in his feelings for Aeryn. Gilina is Earth Crichton’s dream girl: she is blonde, pretty, sweet, and plucky (she is no push-over). She is also a girl geek, and a techie and for our scientist, that’s quite irresistibly appealing. (Btw, let me take a moment to note how much I like that the show showed us that Crichton had a type in women, B.A. (before Aeryn): they were blonde and sweet and had a certain safe niceness to them. Aeryn is not blonde, not sweet, and not safe at all. And neither is his feeling for her). If Gilina was a girl working for a research institute on Earth and she and John met at some party, I can easily see them talking, dating, falling in love and getting married. And having a happy married life. And the John of ‘PK Tech Girl,’ despite some unpleasant encounters in the Uncharted Territories is still enough of the Earth John to be attracted to Gilina, to be at the very beginning of developing something for her. He is still enough of an innocent, with enough uncomplicated and sweet left in him, for Gilina to be his type. But of course, that is not the case any more when they meet again in ‘Nerve.’ When they meet again, Gilina has had a fairly uneventful PK tech existence. She hasn’t changed much. But she is not Crichton’s type any more. Not after Maldis and finding out firsthand that there are psychopaths that will just enjoy watching you die for the fun of it, not after Crais and finding out that no, if you only explain the truth, it won’t make it better. The person will still want to kill you even if they believe you, even if it’s wrong and irrational, and there is nothing you can do. Not after ‘Jeremiah Crichton’ (my least fave ep of the whole show, but whose theme of Crichton’s long isolation is well taken). Not after finding out the truth about Zhaan, or almost dying out there in space with Aeryn. Not after the mind and soul fuck of ‘A Human Reaction.’   Gilina is not for this John. Not any more. And it’s not just that in the meanwhile he’s ceased to see anyone but Aeryn. It is also that his character has changed. And that is only the beginning. When he meets her in ‘Nerve’ it is pre-Scorpius, pre-Aurora Chair, pre-everything in S2, 3 and 4 (I’d do a list but it would take too long to type). If Gilina met S4 Crichton, she’d freak and run away and rightly so. A digression, but I find it fascinating how John's non-Aeryn women reflect his change. We have his ex-gf on Earth who he was serious enough to apparently want to propose to, before they went their separate career way. She is sort of like Gilina only blander, less engaging (Earth Crichton strikes me as someone who's had things come to him too easily because of his intelligence or what not. His passion (for whatever) was never truly engaged to the full, and the gf reflects that.) There is also Caroline (who we meet in Terra Firma) with whom he had something or other, but she is rather like his Earth-ex and it's clear the Crichton of TF doesn't even have anything to say to her any more. From them, we progress to Gilina (about whom see above). In first half of S2, there is the PK Disruptor. Now, she is a lot more edges, more hardness. If she is like anyone, it's a female version of Bond. And Crichton sleeps with her, because hey, he's tried everything to get Aeryn to admit any interest, he's beaten his head against the rock and he's beaten it and beaten it. But she refused and she's conclusively walked out of his life for good (not even came to see him for the very last time, when he needed her most). And also, girl can kill him, good to stay on her good side. There is no Gilina sweetness in her, at all. PK Tech Girl Crichton would annoy her and be intimidated to be with her, not so much Crichton of that s2 ep arc. But interestingly, that is the last time he even looks at another woman, no matter the circumstances. Once Aeryn and he admit their love to each other at the end of S2/beginning of S3, that is it. Even at the second part of S3, when Aeryn is off with Talyn-Crichton, Moya-Crichton goes deep into his obsession with wormholes, not any girls at all, and he is just as obsessed with Aeryn as ever. Even after the end of S3, the beginning of S4, even after he tells Aeryn "I can trust you with my life. But not my heart" and he locks himself away, he still does not look at anyone else. He cannot. And even the drugs cannot knock her out from his mind. Which is why his last non-Aeryn woman is Grayza, who rapes him while at the same time telling him if he gives her the wormhole stuff she will help him find Aeryn (OMG, that bit is seriously the worst in the whole scene). I think the darker progression of these women-others mirrors the darker and darker universe. OK, digression over.   I find it interesting that in S1 we have a number of people (beings, whatever) whose life is affected, changed by Crichton and who are grateful for that and thank him for changing/opening/saving either explicitly, or it’s implied. But after S1 this slows to a trickle pretty fast and then stops almost entirely. Crichton is such an innately kind person, and one of the saddest things in the show is seeing this kindness leach away under the tortures (literal and figurative) he is subjected to. I find it so sad and so significant that in the S3 finale it’s Aeryn who brings up the fact that the command carrier has a lot of lives which John’s plan might end. Aeryn. Not John. She’s become more compassionate (she, who started out saying ‘I hate that word’) and he’s become much less. These are both reactions to their environment, to events they are in (When they initially meet, she is a product of an individuality-less, soulless scenario. Even if he is wrong in reading her at the very very first in Premiere during intros, he is not wrong in reading her potential, in recognizing she is a person, and even as early as Premiere she proves him right. I also love that for Crichton, she is always her own person, not a preconceived notion of what she should be. He loves her for being Aeryn, not for some idealized being in his head). And yet it is never completely suppressed, it is always there, however muted and downtrodden, however circumscribed. He had to jettison most of it in order to stay sane and to survive, but somewhere deep inside he is still the guy who, in a completely strange world, took the time to fix the eye-stalk of a mechanical critter thingy he didn’t know at all.   And of course, part of the reason he jettisons it is also because whenever he tries to save someone or make it better, it often ends up making the situation worse. I am thinking for example of S3’s lovely ‘Different Destinations’ which turns a beloved sci-fi trope on its head and he has to live with it and he can barely bear it.   And I love how the show never lets us forget the cost this takes on him, that he is not a power-hungry psychopath, a cavalier callous being only caring about his small group of friends. That coda to S4’s ‘We Are So Screwed’ where he is with Aeryn, and he breaks down, and he can’t help it, and he weeps for what he’d done, for what he almost did (and it’s going to be small fry in comparison with PKW) is just brilliant and heartbreaking and one of my favorite bits (and I love that she is there, and she silently comforts him, and he clutches her arm as a lifeline). And that is why I actually liked the drug storyline in S4. After all the stuff that Crichton been through, I am surprised he didn’t end up going on something earlier, just to deal with it all somehow (I love that the show brought up earlier that he has nightmares, feels tremendous guilt, and that was mid S2, I am sure they are much worse now). And it also made sense that when his number 1 obsession, Aeryn, told him to give it up, he did, as he’d pick her over anything. She’s his number 1 drug. Basically, he needs Aeryn desperately. She is what allows him to function, allows him to stay (relatively) sane, what holds him together. When he can’t have her, or doesn’t have her, he falls apart and needs something else to get through the days (wormholes in S3, lakka in S4). I do find it interesting that Crichton keeps his compassion, however tattered, but he develops absolute priorities, as a result of choices he shouldn’t have had to make. Most people don’t really analyze whether they will pick the woman they love or selling one’s soul and giving up something which earlier, to protect, you didn’t give up even when tortured or hunted or broken. They don’t have to. Crichton’s developed rigid priorities are a result of the environment where he had to confront those hierarchies in himself. Crichton’s earlier ‘purity’ and goodness and optimism exist in part because he is a product of a relatively sheltered life (compared to Uncharted Territories). But that early cleanness allows others to see a better or at least a different path for themselves and so they repay the favor later by pulling him out when he is on the brink of succumbing to all these horrors (which really do seem to be scarily disproportionately triggered at him). One of the things I love about Crichton is that even after he’s seen and dealt horrors, he has a certain moral absolutism to him (however broken it gets at times) and a pure refusal to give up, and strength even if only to make the least worst of two bad choices presented to him. Something untainted is always there, maybe a legacy of his initial idealism, and so he never breaks, not permanently, not irreparably, though he comes very very close. Throughout the show, even as that world bends and molds and twists him to its own parameters, he manages to make the world somewhat bend and mold and twist to himself.   Do you know what I really really wish for John and Aeryn and the kid after the end of PKW? A few years of total peace, where they can just travel the space in Moya, and John can do his research, and be with Aeryn and watch their child grow, without having to worry about saving his and their lives every other day.

OK, these are getting epically long omg.

[cosmiclatte28]

Nightmare (Mark x reader)

Angst, major character is terminally ill (no need to proceed if you’re not comfortable with this, head to masterlist and see other works instead)

a/n : I swear this started as just a fluff or comfort for mark with a bad dream, but it took a toll and I ended up with an angst.. but ofc the end is not sad. I tortured you enough with the storyline. 

warning : language and illness

Prepare to slap me with keyboard smash as I once again tried to make an angst but it’s not enough to make you cry...

tagging @neopalette 

-- here we go --

“Shh, it was just a bad dream. Just a dream,” you shush your first and last as he shakes under the moonlight clinging into your shirt for dear life. “None of it was real Mark.” You run a hand on his hair while the other rubs soothing circles on his back.

His shoulder stops shaking but he’s still sobbing and controlling his breath.

“Sorry, I am so sorry.” He buries his head into his palm and sobs louder. You feel your heart aches as you see your love just cries there because of another bad dream for the fourth time this week but you cannot help him other than calming him down.

You’ve known Mark for six years, lived with him for three years and this is something you’ve never seen before.

“Calm down, follow me breathe Mark,” you squeeze his hand to get his attention to start copying your breathing.

“There, there.” You pull him to your hug and he leans into your shoulder like he really is afraid something will just snatch him away from you.

“Drink first?” you bring him a glass of water you kept on your bedside and Mark slowly gulps the water down.

“Thank you-“ he whispers with his croaky voice hoarse from crying.

You want to ask him what is it about, four consecutive nights with Mark just waking up in the middle of the night crying because of his dream. You know better not to ask for he will answer you and that will make him harder to sleep.

“I am messed  up, sorry (y/n),” he looks up to you with his red eyes and you see fear in them.

“It’s just another nightmare Mark, don’t give it a damn.” You smile and half lay down your body on the pillow before pulling him to rest his head on your chest so he can listen to your steady heartbeat. His eyes are open, piercing to the ceiling. Your fingers still run over his hair as you calm him down.

“I am afraid,” he murmurs after some time of silence.

You hum, so he knows you’re still awake and attentive.

“Afraid of what? You prepared a lot for your comeback, you’ll do great.” You smile feeling proud whenever you remember how hard he works for the coming project.

Mark’s lips tremble, for the last four days he always sees the same scene playing in his head. Something that makes him cry and jumps up awake lately.

There in his dream he vividly remembers you being snatched by a white light while he is forced to leave with a black shadow dragging him away from you even when he tries to take himself off and hold on to you, he can’t. He feels himself dragged into a dark pit where he can’t see you and before he knows what happens next, he always wakes up crying and panting. Then you would wake up and do the same cycle, calm him down, give him water, and stay up with him until he sleeps.

“Let’s get married.” Mark impulsively says and you shoot your eyes open, before giggling “What kind of joke is this again? Is this April fools?” you stop playing with his hair and instead runs your hand slowly to hug his waist.

Mark shakes  his head as he moves his body so he is facing you and your eyes. He scoots closer and you can see his eyes glassy “I said, let’s get married.”

You shake your head “We can’t,”

“Why?” he cuts you in before you can say anything.

“Because-“ you bite your lips. No, you cannot tell him why. He won’t like it. You look down to the sheets between you.

“Why? Why (y/n)? We’ve been wanting this since forever!” Mark frantically touches your face so you can keep your eyes on him.

“You just woke up from a bad dream Mark, we’re not talking about this now. Please go to bed. You’re not in your right mind. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You break your eye contact and turn your back on him

Mark freezes on his spot when he sees how your small shoulder looks weak and starts to shake slightly. Did he make you cry? His hand longs to touch your hair and rakes them like you did to him, but he remembers the day you told him you don’t feel comfortable with it. So he pulls his hand back.

He tries to reach for you but you pull the blanket to cover your body more before he had the chance.

Mark finally falls back to sleep after trying to figure out his dream which he gives up after ten minutes.

You cry in silence, afraid that Mark will see you sobbing alone. No, Mark should never know how much time you have left.

--

“Doctor, can I skip today’s session?” you quietly make a call to someone early in the morning on the kitchen before Mark wakes up.

“I have something more important to do.” You lied. Well you have no plan, you just don’t feel like taking in more chemicals into your body despite the experts saying it will saves you by some months.

“Please, I’ll be back for the next session. Promise.” You close your eyes as you feel your head spins again.

“Thank you-“ you say before quickly pushing the phone off and taking several pills into your mouth and pushing them with water.

“Honey? You okay?” Mark asks when he sees you gripping on the sink in the toilet with your phone on the floor.

You shake your head and fake a smile and look at Mark from your blurry vision full of tears “I am okay. Just washing my face.” You quickly pretend to splash water to your face.

“Oh, okay. Just let me know if you need anything.” He gives a small smile before leaving you alone.

Mark glances one more time to the pillow you slept on tonight, that’s an unusual amount of hair loss. Are you stressed? Why did he find a lot of hair falling on your side of the bed?

“I’ll be home for dinner.” Mark says before tucking on his shoes.

You nod “What do you want to eat? I don’t really want to cook maybe we can go out?” you ask, hoping he has the time.

Mark thinks for a while “Sure, I can do that. Where do you want to eat?”

You smile “Our first date place?”

Mark giggles “Sushi? You love that so much! Okay book a place for two for seven?” Mark asks and you nod. He presses a kiss on your lips before raising his hand to ruffle your hair only to pause mid-air when he remembers you also asking him to not play with your hair.

“See you, love you!” Mark kisses you one last time and then disappearing behind the door.

You finish your breakfast and gulp some more pills. “For Mark,” you whisper to yourself as you refill your medicine box with pills.

--

“It’s the same nightmare hyung-“ Mark shares his thought again to Taeyong today when the leader notices something off with their Mark.

“Have you tried asking her? Maybe she knows something about the dream?” Taeyong tries his best to help his brother. Seeing Mark sad and frustrated is hurting him.

“I can’t, she is also weird lately. Look, she doesn’t even want to answer my invitation to get married.” Mark suddenly changes topic and their leader is shocked about this.

“Woah that was fast. Maybe she wants a romantic one, not an impulsive one like what you did.” Taeyong shrugs his shoulder.

Mark nods “Maybe, you’re right. I’ll do it rightly. Thanks hyung.”

“Anytime Mark.” Taeyong forces a smile before burying his face to his palm after the guy is out. Did you really not tell him about your condition?

“(Y/n), as much as I love to cover up for you. You have to tell him. He’s your lover, he deserves to know it” Taeyong calls you the second he assures himself Mark is not around to eavesdrop.

“I will hyung, thank you just wait for some more time.” You bargain.

“Okay, just… I am sure he will be sad if you never tell him the truth.”

--

“Where is Mark?” Taeyong asks when he gathers the member to evaluate today’s practice.

“Gone to buy a ring.” Johnny shrugs his shoulder and Taeyong just lets him be.

Meanwhile Mark is rushing through the mall to get a diamond ring you’ve once mentioned to him. Taeyong’s right, he thought. You’re not answering him because he is not holding a ring. How silly of him.

You put on your first date dress, style your hair slowly and you put on your smile before finally taking a cab to the sushi place you first met Mark.

He was already seated in your reserved place. He looks stylish in his light blue shirt and his hair styled nicely.

“Hey, sorry for waiting.” You take your seat across him.

He doesn’t mind waiting for you. Both of you start talking about what happened today. Mark tells you about the practice and you just tell him you’re staying at home enjoying your day.

“I have something to say-“ both of you confess at the same time and stop at the same time “You first-“ both of you say that again and chuckle in embarrassment.

“You go first-“ Mark lets you have the chance and you contemplate. Should you tell him the truth? But if not now, when? What if time is cruel to you?

You take a deep breather and open your eyes “Mark, I am so sorry.” You start off.

He looks at you with a questioning face, “Sorry? What for?” he suddenly feels nervous, is this the part where you’ll confess you don’t love him anymore or maybe you cheated on him? Or he sees you walk with someone else and accuse him of cheating and then breaking up? Is this it? Mark has so many in his head but he’s nervous as he sees you also nervous to confess.

“What for sweetie, tell me..” Mark tries to reach for your hand but you hide them in your lap.

You close your eyes and spit the truth, (here goes nothing, you thought) “I am dying Mark.”

He opens his eyes wide, mouth shutting and opening like a fish, are you joking right now, is this a payback

“What? No- you’re-“ he stutters when you pull out your medicine box and show him your arm you’ve been hiding under long sleeves shirts.

Mark reaches out for your hand and examine the traces of needles on your skin. He shakes his head, is this what he is seeing in his dream? Is this the answer to the nightmares?

“I am so sorry-“ you weep, trying your best to not break down in front of him, but you can’t… not when you see how broken he looks like right now.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks softly, still remembering how you don’t like to get yelled at.

You feel tears falling, “I knew them too late Mark, stadium 4.” You try to smile from your pain but you can’t stop crying not when Mark starts to cry too.

“No baby, no  no you-“ He squeezes your palm when he sees you cry louder

“You can get treated, come on we’ll find the best doctor.” Mark already stands to your side and sits on your empty spot and hugging you close and tight.

He feels how skinny you’ve changed and his hand brushes your hair before noticing them falling down. He curses at himself for not noticing this sooner. You suddenly avoiding foods, not wanting him to touch your hairs, the fallen hairs on your bed side, your morning routine in the toilet. Your constant disappearance when he has tight schedules or tours. You must’ve been on the hospital when he has tours. That’s how you are always homed when he is home.

Mark feels his world falls apart. How come he did not know this. How come he lets you walk through this alone.

“How long baby?” he asks and you whisper “Last year I was diagnosed.”

He curses in his heart “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? You were fighting alone? If I know, I’d fight with you honey.” He tries to stop his crying but his tears can’t stop falling down.

“Sorry. I am so sorry Mark. I love you, I don’t want you to worry.” You hug him tighter.

Mark pats your back “Hey, you not telling me just makes me worry more. I even got bad dreams about this.” He shakes his head “Honey, tell me you’re doing something to cure this?”

You nod “I did, but they can’t. I just have months Mark.” You cry louder and that hurts Mark’s heart more than getting scolded by his trainer.

“Hey, don’t say that. Miracles happen. We’ll get through this. You’ll have more than months. I am here for you always.” Mark squeezes your shoulder as he sucks his tears in. No come on mark you got to be strong.

“I am not going to lose you honey. Tell me what we can do, I’ll do it with you.” He pulls back to see your face.

“Stop crying, we’ll get through this okay?” he wipes a tear that falls from your eyes.

You nod, though you know there’s not much left and nothing else can be done… you nod so Mark lee can be happy again.

“Now, as a promise. I will give you this.” He pulls out the box of ring he bought earlier, and you gasp “No way,” you close your mouth.

Mark smiles “Come on, I got the ring.” He pulls out the perfect diamond ring and slip it into your finger “I promise to be by your side as we both fight together.” He kisses you knuckles, and you cry louder. He pulls you to another hug “I heard people survive this when they have hope, faith and supports from their loved ones. Let me be in your survival story, I want to cross out our bucket list we made together.” He squeezes your hand, and you force a smile to your face. Mark totally makes you feel better. You will be ready even if you have to die now.

“I don’t deserve you, Mark.” You murmur.

He shakes his head “You deserve me, I deserve you. We are made for each other. Now, we will promise each other to walk together through storms and rainbows side by side. Don’t leave me and I won’t ever leave you, my first and last.” Mark kisses your temple, and you melt into his touch.

He is indeed something you’d never trade for in this world. Even if someone offers you a longer life, you will not ever trade it if Mark is not there.

end.

epilogue??

[athenadione]

Prompt #88 with Jayrae, with Raven as the person who got hurt. Pretty please?

Muahaha *cracks knuckles* don’t mind if I do. Thanks for the prompt anon! It fed my angsty soul. (Also, sorry all for the hiatus in updates. Life is... hard).

‘Toxic Vengeance’

Pairing: JayRae Words: 2,296 Rated: M - Warnings for cuss words, graphic scenes of violence, and major angst. 

When the knife slashes her thigh, it instantly feels like it’s on fire. 

With a hiss, she draws back. 

It’s as if someone pressed a red-hot branding iron to her leg, then twisted it deeper into the marred flesh for good measure—but instead of dulling, the burning sensation is growing at an alarming rate, spiraling up her entire leg. 

Another hooded figure dashes from her right, and with a wave of power she forces them back with a glittery black claw. They hit the nearest brick building with a thud. Another jumps from above to replace them, and she throws up a shield with her other hand, halting the strike of their sword in mid-air. More are filling the alley, coming from the shadows. The burning in her leg is now more of an afterthought as her adrenaline spikes.

I need to end this now. “Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos.” 

Her power flares, and strikes through the figure, sending it back, along with the others in one large surge. There’s a series of grunts, followed by the clattering of weapons, before all she can hear is her own harsh breathing and blood from her heartbeat rushing in her ears. 

Amethyst orbs search the alley with skepticism, expecting another cohort to flood the street. Another minute of scouring, then she releases a breath when she’s certain it’s over. 

The attack had happened the second she turned the corner to investigate the stain of dark magic covering the adjacent building. She had been following whispered rumors of a rising national occult for weeks, eventually leading her to Crime Alley of all places.  

A groan escapes one of the men. Her attention shifts to see him lying slumped against the wall, hood fallen. His face is covered in old ancient markings, confirming both the reasons for her suspicion and dread. 

The marks of Scath. It appears her father’s followers are growing in power. Now, she needs to find out why—and who is behind it. They know who I am and purposefully drew me out here. This is more than I anticipated.

Is their leader someone I know? Maybe Blood? 

As the adrenaline begins to flow out of her body, she becomes keenly aware of the burning pain that’s replacing it. When the burning in her thigh flows down to her toes and up the side of her body, she realizes that her heart rate hasn’t slowed and neither has her breathing. 

Glancing down at her leg, she curses at the blood flowing freely from the wound. It’s deep, and is now starting to bubble. A bright red streak grows across her leg—a clear sign of inflammation. 

Poison. It’s not one that she recognizes—nor is it one that her demon-half can expel. 

Not good. 

Once the severity of her situation sets in, so does her panic, and she stumbles when another flare of pain sends her head spinning. She staggers over to the brick wall, laying one arm against her forehead. It’s covered in a thin sheen of sweat. 

It’s too late to call Nightwing or Batman; They wouldn’t be able to make it in time, and she doesn’t know if she has the capacity to transport herself to the cave. 

There’s only a handful of other people she trusts that knows more than just the basics of toxicology. 

Black specks dance along her vision and she tries to blink them back, shaking her head with considerable effort. 

There’s only one other option.

With the last of her failing strength, her eyes blind an iridescent white, and inky black tendrils snake around her, enveloping her into its depths. 

A moment later they release her and she stumbles across the threshold into a musty apartment. It doesn’t help that it’s completely dark, and the pound of her heart now seems louder than before.

Somewhere within the confines someone curses loud.

Her thoughts are becoming more clouded, and it’s getting harder to breathe. There’s a growing fervency to keep walking, and she does, intent to find him. 

A heat sizzles over her skin, heightening at her thigh. 

She whimpers, and her knees buckle—legs no longer able to support her weight. She’s so out of it she doesn’t even brace for the ground. 

He catches her before she hits.

“Jesus Christ, Raven. What happened to you?” His breath tickles her ear, and she shivers—though from his voice or her wound she’s not sure.

“Ambush. Poison.” She gasps through another wave of burning pain that shoots all the way up to her chest. 

Another curse and she’s being lowered against his door as fingers begin to ghost over her body. 

“Where? What kind?” He finds the wound and bright emerald eyes flare as they meet her. They swirl and morph into one before her eyes, and she blinks, swallowing back a sudden wave of nausea. 

“Alley…knife…I don’t know. I’ve never… ” she trails off, barely getting the words out as her shortness of breath increases.

“Fuck. Fuck,” an arm presses her shoulder back when she begins to slump over. “You cannot pass out on me princess. I need you to stay awake.” 

“Sorry,” she says, slurring her words. She’s growing exceedingly dizzy and her vision is blurring faster. She can’t get enough air to breathe. 

Something jars her. “Raven, stay with me.” 

Her heart feels like it’s going to tear and claw its way out of her chest, and for a moment she thinks it is. 

It beats faster, and faster, and faster.

“Rae, open your eyes. Look at me.” 

But then it stops. 

“Raven.” 

And all she knows is darkness. 

.

“Stand by. Preparing to shock.” 

There’s a loud, involuntary gasp, and a charging whine. 

“Shit. I swear to God you better not fucking die on me Rae.” 

.

“Evaluating heart rhythm… no shock advised. Continue CPR.”

The sound of pumping compressions fills the air. Green eyes glow as they glare at her prone figure.

“Breathe Goddammit!”

When he bites his lip, it’s hard enough to draw blood, but at least he managed to blink back the sudden, unbidden tears that had formed at the corners of his eyes.

He tries not to shake his hands when he hears her sternum crack underneath the heel of his palm. 

. 

“What are you doing on this com-line Hood?” The growl in his ear is laced with caution, and he can’t blame him. At least he answered. 

He gets to the point fast. “It’s Raven, she was poisoned. I don’t know what it is, but I think it’s systemic,” he pauses as the voice in his ear curses. “She’s coding Nightwing, get someone to my apartment now.” 

There’s another tense pause as Dick listens to Jason’s sharp exhales coinciding with his compressions. 

“Where?” 

“The one closest to the Alley, on 3rd.”

“Z will come teleport us. AED?” 

Jason stops and sits back on his haunches as the defilibrator analyzes again. The machine’s response only heightens his fear. 

“No shock. Continuing CPR, it’s been a few minutes,” he swallows thick as he checks her carotid pulse again. Nothing. “I’m losing her godammit, hurry the fuck up.” 

“On our way.”

He immediately cuts the transmission to focus on his task.

One, two, three, four, five...

.

He doesn’t know how much longer he’s been counting to thirty, just that he’s done it over and over. 

A cacophony of motion behind him almost interrupts his concentration. Someone places a gloved hand on his shoulder with urgency. 

“She needs to be transported to the Watchtower as soon as possible.” 

Lips press together firmly, then he nods. Allowing Zatanna to intervene, she envelopes the empath in her magic. They leave the AED pads attached. 

In seconds, they’re gone. Then the others turn to follow. 

“I’m going with her.” 

Nightwing stills, eyes flicking to Batman.

The resounding silence is near palpable. Nightwing takes a tentative step forward, breaking it. 

“Little wing… I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” 

Fluorescent eyes shine with stone-cold defiance.

“You can’t stop me.”

Batman grunts—the closest thing he’ll ever get to an affirmation. It’s a sizable achievement, but he doesn’t feel victorious at all. 

She’s still in cardiac arrest, but if anyone can help her it’s Zatanna. 

And if there’s anyone that can overcome something like this it’d be her. 

Come on princess, come back to me. 

.

She codes three more times in the medbay. The crash team hovers as everyone else tirelessly searches for the right antidote. 

He doesn’t know what to do with himself. 

While he watches her Nightwing briefs him on her mission. He listens. It’s a distraction. Then white hot anger licks and gnashes up his chest to his throat with each word until he’s fisting his hands tight to hide the tremors. 

“... I thought it might be Blood but assassins and poison isn’t really his style. Do you think the League could have something to do with this?” Nightwing asks beside him.

His response is slow and level, revealing no hint of the turbulence of emotion that lies underneath, “I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.” 

Nightwing gives him a pensive stare, but says nothing. 

Jason narrows his eyes. 

Dead. They’re all fucking dead. 

.

They’re able to create one an hour later. He doesn’t think he’s ever been so relieved to see someone breathe. 

He waits until she’s stable before slipping away. The teleporter still recognizes him as Robin, and he’s not sure what to think about that when he steps onto the platform. 

Batman gives him a look that he acknowledges as both a warning and a threat; But why should he care? He lost respect for that man a long time ago, and doesn’t give two shits what he thinks.

Unlike Bruce, he’s not afraid to avenge those he cares about most through whatever means necessary.

.

A piercing cry follows the crack of snapping bone. Another finger, broken. That leaves seven more, and I’ve got all fucking night. 

“I won’t ask again,” comes a growl, “I want answers.”

The man’s panting is interrupted by a swift kick to the gut. He bends over with a groan, before he glares up at the Red Hood through one eye. The other is swollen shut. 

“Why would I tell you? You’re just going to kill me anyway.” 

Hood hums, cocking his gun. “True, but it’ll hurt wayyy less if you do.” 

The man spits at his boots, a mixture of saliva and blood. “Good luck. I won’t talk.” 

A malicious grin grows from underneath Hood’s mask. 

“Unfortunately for you, I don’t need it.” 

.

The hallway is empty, save for him and Nightwing.

Really it’s just a perfect place for a one-on-one scolding—and his brother clearly decides to take advantage of it.

“You shouldn’t have done that. He will retaliate. This is Ra’s we’re talking about.” 

Jason’s jaw clenches tight. 

“Who knows how many supporters he’s managed to convince that Trigon can fix all of their worldly problems? He could call on all of them at any given moment.” 

He bares his teeth. 

“You’ve made a mess, Hood. It’s going to take months to clean up what you did.” 

He can’t stand it anymore. “Are you shitting me? I did you all a fucking favor,” he points a finger in Richard’s chest. “I found out more information in an hour investigating my way than you all did in weeks. If you’re not happy with my methods then do a better goddamned job covering your teammates.” He nearly chokes on that last word, attention drifting to the unmoving woman in the room across from them. 

Dick’s eyes follow and widen, then narrow just as fast, and he crosses his arms. 

“You love her.” 

He should have known Richard would figure it out. Why even try to fucking deny it anymore?

“Yeah,” he winces when his voice comes out raw. “I do.” 

Dick raises a brow, unapologetic. “She’s not going to like what you did either.”

Jason doesn’t have the decency to look ashamed. 

“I know.”

He wonders if she would have done the same.

.

“The antidote stopped any further damage, but she remains comatose. We’ve deduced that her body’s gone into a healing trance to mend herself internally. There’s nothing else we can do but wait and continue to monitor.” 

He stares at her porcelain face, no longer resisting the urge to tuck a stray lock of indigo behind her ear. Even at rest her brows are furrowed—like she knows what’s coming.

He waits until he can no longer hear Zatanna’s echoing steps to draw closer to her, breathing in her familiar scent of incense and old books. It’s a welcome change from the sterile smell of antiseptic. 

“You’re really taking your time huh, sunshine? How rude of you, leaving me with these assholes,” he fingers another strand of hair before releasing it with a sigh. 

“You scared the shit out of me. Don’t do that again.” He gives her a mock glare, half-expecting her to glower back. When she doesn’t he swallows, and takes another breath. 

“There’s one more thing I need to do… and I know you’re going to hate it, but I’m going to do it anyway.” He imagines pools of lavender, ablaze with fire, and a mouth already poised to argue with a vehemence that makes him smile in the present. 

“I won’t be able to come back here after I finish, and I’m sorry I won’t be there when you wake up,” he takes her hand and squeezes. “But I’m not sorry for what I’m about to do.” 

The incessant beeping of the machines she’s hooked up to is his only response. 

He lowers his face, and brushes his lips against the crown of her head. 

“I love you.” 

Walking away from her is hard, and he almost turns back.

But he doesn’t.

[miraculousrainbow]

Sleeping In The Bathroom Is Better Than Home

Description:

Chat noir cannot stand being at home anymore and by chance stumbles upon Marinette wich turns into an unexpected sleepover

Hurt/comfort

Marichat (can be viewd as romantic or platonic)

Oneshot

Trigger warnings : mention of verbal abuse, mentions of neglect, discussions of bad mental health, bad mental health, insomnia, anxiety, trapping a child mention (ask to tag)

"Im done and sick of it"

He couldnt think straight, he just knew that he needed to get out as fast as he can

Plag popped out in a look of concern but before he could say anything Adrien already climbed out the window and yelled "Plagg claws out" and jumped out

His movement wasent his usual cat like swiftness

It was heavy and frantic

He was stumbling around in the dark and crashing into a wall or a random pole every once in a while but ignoring it as nothing happened and just, keeps going

He was going around blindly

With the only purpose of just, getting away

After a while of hanging about at the dark he calmed down a bit, but he was still fearful

His dad yelling still ringing in his ears and with each sound feeling like another hit

"Ignore it he insisted"

"You are here, you are safe, you are not at home anymore."

"You are safe." he whispered to himself loudly with a bit of a panic in his voice and a desperation to make these words feel true

But it was getting late he knew that soon he will need to go back home but he couldnt bring himself

He would rather sleep outside

"The only problem is that he would be an easy target for hawkmoth or criminals depending on the form"

"Or he could just stay a-"

His thought had been cut mid sentence while he was walking he realised he sees a familiar light and in the light had been basking a familiar figure

"Marinette!" He exclaimed with relief in his voice

"It was nice seeing a friend out here and a light source when everything else seems so dark and bleak and eerily quiet..."

"Chat Noir?" Marinette blinked trying to figure out where the dark ends and where the cat starts

"Its nice to see you" he said with a sheepishly smile

"Is there an akuma" Marinette eyes darted from place to place while her expression seemed so focused she wouldnt miss a fly

"Not tonight princess" he replied feeling a bit guilty he made her worry

A sigh of relief escaped the teen's mouth and her expression softened

And when she looked up to his surprise she looked like she is actually happy to see him

"So what brings you here ~Chat Noir~." she said his superhero name like you would call someone a royalty title jokingly

"Wich... was fair, but! he just hoped she knew every time he called her princess it was full of fondness"

"Oh um, just going for a walk, getting some fresh air"

"At two at night"

"I can ask you the same princess" he stumbled on his words he didnt expect that

"He havent being keeping an eye on the hour"

"He hoped he wasent missing for too long"

"But with his father absence he sometimes thinks he could of being kidnaped by hawkmoth for days and he wouldnt even notice"

"and sometimes he could of just barged into the room out of the blue"

"For ones he hoped for the first one"

Marinette unexpectedly decided to be the first one to break the silence

"Thoughts, just too many thoughts" she replied honestly and wiped her eyes in tiredness and maybe tears

Even though her answer seemed quite generic he recognised the real weight these words hold

"You?" She asked softly in sleepiness

"I just couldnt handle staying there anymore"

He blurted out choking on a bit of tears

"Her honestly just made him feel like he couldnt keep it inside anymore and that he could just share it safely and it will be okay"

"Like he didnt have to keep it down anymore and he really couldnt not like this not when he finally feels safe and the adrenaline from earlier is starting to die out and the tiredness is kicking in"

"Not next to Marinette"

"When she just comes with honestly openness and without anything to hide behind"

"She could of waited a little longer he would have come up with a joke to sweep her off her feet or at least made her laugh thats a win too"

"And just have a normal conversation"

"But she chose openness and he couldnt help, but choose it too"

He was a bit shaking he didnt notice till Marinette put a hand on him "hey, do you wanna go talk inside?"

The cat was frozen in surprise at the sudden touch

but as soon as it went is as soon as it goes

"And I know your identity needs to remain a secret for yours and the safety of your loved ones"

"So tell me just as you can and want of course" she made a serious face in the end but he couldnt ignore how cute it was

He noded thankful and followed her in

"Not surprisingly her room was much warmer than the cold outside"

They set down and Marinette asked while fiddling with her fingers "So, what happened?"

"My dad just yelled at me"

"Again" he rolled his eyes with a snort of someone who learned to turn their anger into despair and nihilistic jokes

"Its or he leaves me alone and neglects me or he yells at me and traps me"

"And in the past it used to be or he neglects me and traps me or he yells at me and traps me"

"But good luck trapping Chat Noir ha ha" he said with exhaustion and finger guns

"Unless you are hawkmoth if he would of being I bet he would have trapped me then too" another bitter laugh escaped his mouth

"What about you?"

"So you know those nights when you try to go to bed and you just lay there but you cant stop thinking and your thought are running and running and you just start shaking and you cant stop and no matter what you cant sleep and you wish so badly you can but you just cant so you stand up cause you cant take it anymore"

She blurted out as well just more in a mini frantic tangent

Instead of a frantic blurt out

"So maybe" she says with a twirl of her hand like she tries to drag the word longer and just not let the sentence end

"Im having one of these nights"

She covered her face with her hand and looked away like she is even ashamed of having a problem

"Wich is super unfair everyone has problems" he scoffed in his head

"And also one thing was made sure by this conversation she was crying earlier"

"Actually yeah" he replied looking up from his knees and surprising them both

"I do get these nights from time to time"

"Now it was his turn to look away"

"Now he is the one feeling shame in having problems"

"Honestly, he thinks it made both of them feel better knowing they are not the only ones even though he and of course Marinette! would never wish this upon each other it was still nice being in the same boat"

"Its exhausting" she exclaimed and looked like she was trying to rest her had on air and getting grumpy each time it doesnt work

Chat tapped to time on his knees to signal that she can use him as a pillow

Marinette without taking a second thought took the invite and settled down

At the moment of contact Chat Noir felt like lightening were running up his spine he just hoped he didnt move

He wasent used to other ppl contact much

And he always withdrew away quite quickly

"Its not that he didnt like others touch"

"Its just that it would always overwhelm him so much"

"And it made him feel like he needed a break but every time he was ready to come back"

"There was nobody left"

"And lets not talk about how it was before school when there was nobody to begin with"

"She looked so comfortable like it was all natural being so close to someone and just putting your head down"

"He wishes he could feel like that too"

"He hopes one day he will"

After a moment of rest and a sigh of relief Marinette asked "So, whats the plan?"

"Kinda how he would of asked his lady on battle he wondered if thats how he looks like"

"Uh, I kinda planned on staying awake outside until I will collapse of exhaustion..."

"Well, thats a horrible plan."

"In retrospect, he agreed but its not like he had any other options" he thought to himself

"The only room with a decent lock is the bathroom but I cant let you sleep in the bathroom!"

"I considered sleeping outside so this sounds much better"

"Chat!" She protested

"Its not like I have any better options" he sighed into his hand

"Okie but Im putting a clock to 5 in the morning so you will be back before anyone notices"

"But then what about you? dont you need any sleep?"

"I dont think I will fall asleep befor 5 am to be honest" she made an awkward laugh in an attempt to make it seem not as bad

"And, having company for a change even if will be a sleeping one soon is nice."

She looked up to him still resting on his lap with a soft smile that looks like it means Im really thankful you are here but you need to go to sleep now

"Marinette I-" he couldnt help but let a sigh of relief escape his mouth "I cant thank you enough"

"Hey what there are partne- pretty good friends for!"

"She started stammering. Now he was sure she was too tired for communication and needed some rest"

"So lets get ready for the sleep part in our kind of spontaneous sleepover!" she said like it was all part of just a regular late night party

He chuckled and replied with a simple sappy "yeah" and he got ready to bed

And in a long time he actually had a good sleep even though it was in the bathroom

The end <3

Update: thank you everyone for the feedback!!!

[goldenlaquer]

Hey, can I ask for some headcanons, please? For Gin, Toshi, Sougo and Kamui. About how they were in a fight, separated from their so and something happened like an exposion or whatever, anyway the main point is that they thought that their so have died but later they see her alive and relatively unharmed. So the headcanons of them when they thought they lost their so and when they see that she is ok. Sorry, this is so specific and long, I'm just a slut for some angst and I love your writings

Thank you for the support and sorry for the wait! I don’t know if I’m that much good at conveying angst but let’s bring on the feels! 

Gintama Headcanons: 

Hijikata Toushirou: 

Hijikata stands on top of a pile of rubble, and surveys the destruction around him. 

His hands don’t shake. His feet are firm against the ground. His shoulders are straight and rigid against the fleeting wind. Smoke escapes him in steady stream, and when he inhales in, the dust and fire of the air sticks to the walls of his lungs like sludge. 

To the men who stop to look at their vice-commander with their ugly concerns plastered on their ugly mugs: He’s fine. 

To the Gorilla who can’t stop asking him the question every ten minutes and that, he really should take a break or else at this rate, he’ll collapse: He’s fine. 

To the brat who stubbornly stays by his side like spit-up gum on the sole of his shoe: He’s fine, damn it, so go do your job and leave him alone. 

For once, Sougo doesn’t have anything clever to quip back at him. He doesn’t need to-- the silence between them speaks better than words. And Hijikata hates what it says, so he turns back to the grey landscape, eyes darting and sifting through the mangled and charred parts to see something, anything that is you. 

Nothing. 

He reaches for a cigarette, pulls it out of his pocket like second nature. The lighter is the trickier to work. The blasted thing refuses to flicker on. Oh, the cigarette falls down. Hijikata bends to pick it up. He tries again. The cigarette falls down. He stares at it. His shoe crushes it. He’s stomping down hard. Sougo is still silent, watching. Hijikata doesn’t care. 

The facade of normalcy is gone. Here he is: Taking his frustrations out on a sad little cig, like it’s the cause of all his fucking problems, like it’s going to bring you back. Harsh pants come out of his mouth, and in another series, they’d sound like something akin to sobs, but his face is dry.

“Hijikata.” He ignores Sougo. The cigarette is reduced to paper and dry leaves scuffed against concrete. “Hijikata.” He doesn’t answer.

Okita, with an eye-roll, kicks Hijikata square in the back and knocks him off the pile. 

Sougo, what the fuck? He. Is. Mourning. Hijikata has always known Sougo to be insensitive, but this is blatantly crossing several lines and he clearly doesn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with. 

But if it’s a fight that bastard wants, Hijikata will give it to him. He leaps up from the ground, ready to hand Sougo an express ticket to hell, misty eyes narrowing in anger as he looks up

and the breath is knocked out of him in a way that years of chain-smoking had miraculously failed to do 

Standing before him, white particles clinging to your clothes, hair, and eyebrows, is the damn most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. The feet move faster than he can process, and by the time his arms are around you and he’s breathing in the scent he thought he’d lost forever

“Fuck.” Because that’s the only appropriate response he can say without his voice cracking. “Don’t do that again.”

Kamui:

Loss is not a new thing. It was in the labored rise and fall of his mother’s chest, the pallidness of her white skin. The feel of his sister’s small hands, fisting in his clothes and pleadingly tugging back, her blue eyes wide and wet. It was in the looming shape of his father’s retreating back.

But there were other, worthier things to focus on. The pain in his knuckles slamming against bone and muscle. The taut stretch of his lips as he licks his wounds, tasting metal and victory. The title of ‘Universe’s Strongest’ nearly within his grasp. He didn’t have time for the weak. Didn’t have time to be weak.

Loss is not new, and yet there is something about this loss. Now, Loss is a sentient being, latching to his throat and squeezing as he grapples through the mud.

Abuto’s face is too blank and too careful. His voice is low and calm and reasoning, and he is saying things, but Kamui doesn’t listen. The words ‘she’ and ‘gone’ don’t mix, they don’t make any sense, so why should he listen? He digs and digs and digs, not hearing, he can’t, his ears and eyes are filled with the same muddy brown that must also be filling yours. Kamui works even faster, his nails splintering against the rocks embedded in the wet ground.

Hair released from its braid, trussed and caked in dirt. Pupils dilated, black swallowing blue. His face abnormally slack as he claws in frenzy, in desperation at the ground like a wild animal.

There are few things in this world Kamui can’t fight. No matter his strength, one cannot simply beat Mother Nature into submission. But there is no excuse. If he cannot save one woman from something as stupid as dirt, then what is the point? What use is his strength? He didn’t leave that tiny, rainy planet, ignoring all the things left behind with it, to become this weakling who couldn’t even manage to keep you by his side like he promised.

He’s a young brat again, helplessness coloring every pore. A damsel in distress. Someone who can’t save, but needs saving. He is no different than the baldy. Unable to keep promises. Unable to protect. Unable to do anything. Was he always this fragile? Pathetic.

Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. The word is a punishing mantra in his mind.

Something crashes into him. It’s not near enough to make him pause in his digging, but the something is tugging on his clothes. Incoherent, muffled shouting in his ears. He doesn’t pay it any mind because mud keeps slipping back in place despite all his useless strength and you’re still trapped, waiting for him--

“KAMUI!”

He blinks in surprise, snapping from the heavy cloud covering his mind. He’s flat on the ground, staring up at you. How he got there, he doesn’t know, but you are here in front of him, covered head-to-toe in mud and crying.

He is silent, watching as you blubber concerns and curses. A curious hand reaches out to your face in wonder, carefully tracing the path that a salty tear had made down your cheek. The familiarity of your soft skin warms his numb body and a small smile emerges from his lips.

As you sit on top of him, crying not because you are scared but because he’s such a stupid idiot, he realizes that that he isn’t all alone just yet, that there’s one thing that refuses to leave him. 

Okita Sougo: 

It’s happening again. And it honestly makes him want to laugh. 

He doesn’t believe in it, karma, but when you think that you’ve gotten used to the pain of losing someone you love, his rotten, black heart has to go and get ripped out for the second time as if he forgot, as if he needed reminding that there’s no way someone like him deserves something as good as happiness. There’s no other explanation to this shit luck other than that, for the accumulation of every filthy deed he’s done with his filthy hands and every fucking sin he has committed once and twice and will most definitely commit thrice, someone has to pay for it. 

And because Karma is two bitches and a half, that someone wasn’t him. 

There it is. The laughter finally comes out as he looks at the torn fabric in his clenched fist. It comes out harsh and hollow and, if you listened hard enough, choked, but who’s checking? Not him. Not Mitsuba. And certainly not you. 

He reported it to the vice-commander himself, voice robotic, telling how he was walking front of you when it happened, how the enemy somehow managed to predict your movements and ambushed the both of you on a bridge, how he had been unable to react in time to stop the silver flash of a knife and how the world tilted, too fast and too slow, and that there was a piece of hanging rope that he managed to snag on to with one hand and when he blindly flashed out the other to grasp at you, reaching through free air and snatching at cloth, it ripped from his fingers, and you fell to the chasm below.  Deep enough, Okita said as he looked straight into Hijikata’s eyes, that death would be quick and painless.

If nothing else could go right for him, then at least for this, he hoped, even fucking prayed, that it was painless.

Hijikata doesn’t react to the report with anything unnecessary, just a stiff upper lip and an “okay” before he walks off to stand somewhere far enough, yet close enough. For all their differences, Hijikata knows. He understands losing youthful love, and that the pity that comes with it is nothing more than steaming trash. In this way and other ways that he’d sooner eat shit than to admit aloud, Okita is grateful for him.  

He stops mid mirthless chuckle to shove the hand holding what’s left of  you up to his eyes, slanting his head downwards so his bangs cover what he doesn’t want the world to know what he’s somehow still capable of. Hijikata is tactfully looking away. Over the distance, Kondo is bellowing orders to his men who keep a wide berth from the spot where their 1st Division Captain stands. This is the only opportunity he can afford to be an eighteen year old again. Sougo swallows thickly, feeling the roughness of fabric dampen against his eyelids. 

Acutely, he hears the sound of footsteps. It is slow and steady and he thinks that they belong Kondo at first but the weight of them is too light for a gorilla. Before he can process this information further, the steps halt for several long seconds before starting again, this time faster and more urgent, lurching in his direction. Hijikata mutters an astounded “shit” but  for whatever reason doesn’t move to intercept. Okita really isn’t in the mood to deal with dumbasses but the sword by his side is already unsheathed and he’s aiming his red eyes to glare at whoever the fuck--

Arms wrap around his waist. A face burrows into his chest. His knees almost give out, but his name is Okita Sougo and he has already maxed out his whiny bitch points for the next decade. Instead, he drops his sword to cup the back of your very-much-alive head, caressing the wet silk of it before threading his trembling fingers through the strands to

sharply tug you from his chest and grasp your cheeks with one hand, squeezing your expression to that of a startled fish. 

“Now,” Okita murmers, the smirk on his lips at odds with how fucking great it feels to see you again. “What should I do with you?”

Sakata Gintoki:

Before they say anything, he knows. 

He has seen that type of expression too many times to ever forget the set jaw, the horrible attempt at stilling a trembling bottom lip, the unshed tears of eyes that can’t seem to stop roving, unable to face the recipient of bad news for more than half a second, and the pallidness of knuckles straining against skin, holding onto their clothes like a lifeline. 

He knows this expression so well he can gaze down at Shinpachi and Kagura with well-placed apathy, perfectly appearing as if his lungs aren’t threatening to collapse on itself when he notices who is not there with them, and tell them in his same old way to stop sucking on their teeth and finish what they can’t seem to get out because he has an appointment at the pachinko parlor at four and if they don’t finish up this job by three-thirty he is going to dock their nonexistent pay by 80%. It hides the rising nausea and stone weight of the stomach well. 

This time, however, his casual rudeness doesn’t make them react the way he wants them to, it only makes them fold into themselves even further. 

The thing is, no matter how many times you see it and know better than to entertain it, there’s always this one glimmer of hope, so ridiculously strong that you’d gladly pray to anyone and everyone, even if you don’t really believe, because if anything is possible then it better be possible that this isn’t bad news, or that even if it is bad news then the worst of the pinched expression is just a by-product of eating food gone bad or the pain of an ingrown toenail, that it isn’t about someone dying or dead. 

But life rarely goes like that, and Gintoki lives in an extra-shittier life compared to most people. 

When you stumble across them, hair singed and smelling of gunpowder and smoke, there is something so thick and so wrong with the air, something that makes you stop from crying out in elation at seeing the people you love most. Shinpachi is fastidiously rubbing his eyes and Kagura has her face buried against Sadaharu’s fur and Gintoki

Gintoki looks alone. And you don’t think you have ever seen him look like that, so withdrawn into himself that even if he is surrounded by people, there’s nothing that can come close to him, nothing that can ease the dull bleakness of his eyes and the defeated hunch of his shoulders. He looks like a single thread worn too thin, on the verge of snapping. He looks like nothing matters anymore. Nothing. 

You dislike it. You hate it. You hate it so much, to see this man turn into something so unfamiliar and terrifying and gut out. You don’t know this Gintoki. You want the other one back, the one who wouldn’t hesitate to smear dog shit and boogers on the back of your jacket and the one who doesn’t really mind it when you take a sip of his spoiled strawberry milk. 

So when you shout out loudly, so loud that vibrates the space, that you’re here and alive and that you didn’t, couldn’t die because how could such a measly explosion off you when there were idiots waiting back home for you, to see Kagura and Shinpachi fly to you, screaming and whooping as they open their arms wide for your hug, snot running down their noses, and Gintoki snap his head up, disbelieving at first, yet searching your form with a speck of hope that brings life back to his dead eyes, and when he finds whatever he was searching for, he goes to you on steady feet, folding his arms around the group, gaze still drinking your form up as he leans across Shinpachi’s and Kagura’s heads to bump his forehead against yours, his breath sighing out something like relief-- it almost makes you cry, or maybe it does because you can feel something wet trailing down your face.

Gintoki is silent for the most part, because Kagura and Shinpachi are doing most of the talking for him, but when he does speak, it is to say: 

“Damn, there goes the life insurance money.” 

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

[bedtimebrain]

EXO Baekhyun: Cry for Love Part 2

Just here to give a warning on the ending before you get started!! (ref to a/n in part 1!)

Part 1

Let’s go!!!

Characters: Baek x you

Baekhyun finds himself falling for you, but feels he cannot be so selfish to put the burdens of dating an idol upon you. In an attempt to control his feelings, he tries to stay away from you

That night they got to go home early. Reaching home close to 11, Baekhyun decided there was time for some computer games before sleeping.

After taking a shower, he quickly turned on his desktop, setting all his gaming gears ready. Realising his phone wasn’t with him, he went out to the living room to search for it.

‘Ah, found you!’

As he was about to head to his room after picking his phone up from the sofa, he caught sight of your gift that was sitting on the coffee table. 

He can’t help but feel really conflicted, taking a long look at it.

After a good while, he forcefully shook off those feelings and went back in to get started on his game instead.

‘ARGH! what a bad form today’ he took off his headphones and threw it on the table. Ruffling through his hair, he was so frustrated at himself. No matter how he tried, he just couldn’t keep you out of his mind.

Not having the mood to play anymore, he switched off his computer and crashed into bed.

--

In an attempt to push you out of his mind, he busied himself with work every single day for the next few weeks. Every free time he had, he decided to fill it up with more practice, more work instead.

But he had worked so hard (just to forget you) that his immune system gave up on him. He was eventually excused from work so he doesn’t spread the virus to the members.

And the worst thing of it all? It gave him ample time to think about you.

He thought about the way you smile, the way you listened to him when he shared about anything, the way you looked, so attractively, when you made your coffees. Did you think about him? Did another oppa come by?

Sighing, he got up from bed and decided finally to open the gift you gave him from a month back.

The following day, he woke up feeling much better.  But for the whole morning, he felt this annoying nudging inside of him to go see you. No matter what he did, that feeling just wouldn’t budge.

Did y/n put a spell in the tea she gave me or something. 

He was almost going mad from thinking about you. 

Giving up , he told himself 

Just once, I’m going to drive by and look at how she’s doing. That’s all. Then when I see her being all the same, I’ll finally forget all about this, and convince myself I’m just another customer in her daily life.

The journey to your cafe seemed faster than usual today. His heart was beating so rapidly but he kept telling himself over and over 

just once, doesn’t mean anything

and my heart’s just beating fast because im not completely recovered. Yep, sick people get exhausted easily. 

When he had reached , he park his car where he could get a good view of you. 

He was tempted to get out of his car but his mind was in chaos.

they say coffee helps with headache. Maybe I should get one in case I get a headache at home later right?

Then again, his logical self told him

Ya, Byun Baekhyun stop making up lame reasons. Just stay here.

As he was being wishy washy with himself in the car, a customer had arrived at the cafe. Dashing his hopes of having a private time with you.

Perhaps it was fate that he should admire you from his car today instead.

After getting a satisfactory treatment for his love sick heart, he drove away feeling like a small boy being fed with ice cream.

—

After that visit, it only got harder and harder to stay away. He returned again and again.

But he wasn’t the only one. 

There too was another man who kept returning to your cafe, and today was the fifth time he had seen the man, which really annoyed him.

But what position was he to do anything?

I’m telling myself that I cannot have her as my girlfriend but on the other hand im getting irritated she might become someone else’s girlfriend?

He thought of a crude but relatable phrase he heard from somewhere:

I’m really just wanting to ‘hog the toilet bowl without pooping’

His train of thoughts came to an end as he arrived at the company. After getting his car parked , he went to the meeting room where they were supposed to gather.

When all the members had arrived, the staff who was in charge of the album preparation started running through the day’s agenda.

‘Okay guys, we will be doing an additional MV for one of the side tracks. It would be an autumn special MV.

Since it’s an autumn concept, we will be mainly be doing outdoor shoots. There’s only 1 indoor shoot which will be at a cafe. Anyone has any questions ? If not we will start briefing on the storyboard’

Baekhyun wasn’t able to focus on the meeting. What was he supposed to you when he’s so drawn to you but yet wasn’t sacrificial enough either to be okay with seeing you happy with another guy. In fact, it made him scared to lose you when he never had you in the first place.

Baekhyun ah, let her go. It’s good for you and her. Stop visiting her, it only breaks your heart and at the same time make you desire her more. It’s impossible between the both of you..

By the time he was a little more settled with himself, the meeting had already ended.

‘Okay, that’s all we have today. It’s Thursday today... Alright, We will start shooting on Monday since this is quite a spontaneous idea, we might be a bit back on time. We will start with the cafe shoot on Monday at 10am, only Baekhyun and kyungsoo is involved for this as the cafe is too small. We will update the rest on the schedule later.’ --

4 days passed and now he is standing in front of the cafe for his shoot. Reading the signboard ‘Wendy Cafe’.

For the dramatic effect, he even blinked his eyes again to make sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. What in the world was this sorcery called fate... It felt abit weird for him to be here for work when he was normally here for his romantic pursuit. It got him into a little of a panic and shock when they alighted from the van.  He wasn’t expecting to see you, since they normally made sure the set was cleared completely for set up before the members even arrive. Though his heart felt it would really be nice to see you, he also heaved a sigh of relief that he doesn’t have to think about what to say to you since you wouldn’t be here.

Entering the cafe, kyungsoo and baekhyun greeted everyone politely and got ready for the set with the help of their make up artists. 

‘Annyeonghasayo Baekhyun ssi, Kyungsoo ssi. I am the director for the MV, Lee Taemin’

Quickly getting up, they bowed politely and returned the greetings.

‘Could I just explain the set to the both you right now?

So basically in today’s set one of you would be a barista, and one would just be a customer….’

The director trailed on with the briefing,

But there was something bugging Baekhyun. Baekhyun could swear there was something really familiar about this man; like he had seen him somewhere before. But he just couldn’t recall exactly right now.

‘Ok, We will have kyungsoo ssi as the barista and Baekhyun ssi the latter. A real barista will be coming in later to help you out kyungsoo ssi, don’t worry’

Finishing his brief, the director turned to leave. Then it finally clicked in Baekhyun’s mind.

Oh gawd, he’s the guy that keeps visiting y/n

Thinking it through, it now absolutely make sense.

When he arrived, he was thinking how were they even able to find this cafe for use?

He thought to himself, surely you and Director Taemin must be really close if you were willing to let your shop to him for use. 

ah, but im sure y/n would let me use it too if i had asked.

He can’t help but feel a little salty instinctively. 

Suddenly across the room, the director exclaimed

‘Y/N you’re here!’

At the sound of Director Taemin calling your name, his heart skipped a beat and he immediately turned his head around to find you walking through the door. And was absolutely taken away

You were not in your pony tail or your white button down shirt with a black apron. You were not in the plain make up you normally put on either.

You came through the door wearing a mid length denim skirt and a white v neck with a green khaki coat that ended at the bottom of your skirt. Your long hair sat nicely at the front of your coat.

Though he had seen a fair share of cute, pretty and sexy girls in the entertainment industry, you somehow still took his breath away. 

As you moved across the room with Taemin, his eyes unconsciously followed where you went. Till when Kyungsoo shook him, was he finally able to tear his eyes away from you.

‘Baekhyun ah, I was talking to you , were you listening?’

‘Ye Ye, what did you say?’

They went on discussing about some of the other schedules they were to be having, until a familiar voice caused him to freeze.

‘Hello, I’m y/n, I’m the owner of this shop. I heard Kyungsoo ssi would be the barista actor? I’ll be the one teaching you later’

Kyungsoo looked up and greeted you politely while Baekhyun was still in a daze.

Seeing how he didn’t respond, you greeted him with a bright smile

‘Hello Baekhyun ssi’

Without waiting for Baekhyun to respond, you asked Kyungsoo to follow you to behind the kitchen now as there wasn’t much time to learn.

Watching you and kyungsoo walked away together, he mentally hit himself in the head. 

oh shucks she must think im a real jerk now. Making friends with her, then not coming here for months and the next time we meet i didn’t even greet her. 

Argh kyungsoo, give me my time with Y/N.

Though he was feeling a little lousy about the situation, he knew there was nothing he could do about it. He sat at corner table inside the shop while waiting for his scene set up to be completed.

Looking at you and kyungsoo, he had a monologue with himself 

though i really like her, i should probably let her go. the smile on her face, though i am confident i will be able to give it to her, but what if i bring more sadness than happiness?

The both of you having fun made him so jealous. He started imagining you with another guy, you with Taemin? He hated that feeling so much, but he had to accept this. He told himself, he must.

About 2 hours later , he was done with his shoot and all could break for lunch. Over lunch time, you and kyungsoo stuck together as time was tight. Kyungsoo couldnt practice using the coffee machine earlier when baekhyun was filming. 

Not once did you look over at him or even seem to think about talking with him. It was as if you guys were strangers.

Ah, great, this is how it should be like. She’s better than me at this. While i’m over here suffering about how to forget about her, she seem to be getting along just fine. She’s completely acting like she doesn’t know me.

Not being able to stand being around you anymore, he annoyed his manager hyung to drive him back to the SM building first. Coming up with some crap excuses that were questionable. But his manager hyung still sent him back since there was still time to spare before kyungsoo was done.

On his ride back, he set his resolve to let you go but he told himself 

no matter what, we were once friends that could count on each other. i don’t want to end up hurting her, and making her lose more hope in friendships. 

I’ll go back tonight to find her.

--

At about 5.30 pm, kyungsoo sent a text message in their group chat that the filming has ended. Receiving that intel, he got ready to head off to your café. The production crew would need at least another half an hour to pack up anyway. He had ample time to get there.

As perfect as he had planned, when he arrived, the café was already cleared of the production team, but the lights were still on. He knew you would still be cleaning up after everyone left.

Out of courtesy, he knocked on the glass door, causing you to jump in surprise instead. Smiling at him, you beckoned him in.

‘Why are you back here?’ You asked while sweeping the floor.

‘It’s been a long time, isn’t it nice to see each other again?’ He asked casually, but he could feel his palms sweating already

You looked up at him and smiled without replying as you continued cleaning up.

‘So how are you? I’m sorry I haven’t been here for really long, EXO’s comeback is coming soon we are really busy ….’

Before he could even complete his sentence, you cut him off

‘Yes I know. It’s all on twitter and I watch your group’s vlive too. I know you guys have a lot to prepare and are really busy. Don’t have to apologise’

Though he knew you truly meant what you say, it broke his heart a little. He wasn’t really sure what to say anymore. But he wanted to ask this since the start

‘Why did you rent your place to be an MV set? Did you know it was for EXO?’

‘It’s just a favour I’m returning to Taemin ssi. He only told me it was for EXO when he asked for my help last week. But anyway, it’s really nice to see you being serious at work. Now I know why you have so many fangirls~’

‘Are you my fangirl now then?’ Baekhyun asked and waited expectantly.

‘Why? Are you going to give me your autograph if I said yes?’ You put aside the cleaning cloth and washed your hands while replying him jokingly.

‘Anyway, I’m done, shall we go?’

You grabbed your bag as you asked. As you walked right passed him, he reached out to grab your arm without even thinking.

Hesitantly, he started

‘Hey actually, I came today because I have something to tell you’

Staring right into his eyes, you replied

‘I kinda knew it already. Why would you suddenly come back here after not being here for so long. And the fact that you’re here at this hour… You’re definitely not coming here as a customer right?’

Looking at him with a hard expression, Baekhyun was surprised to see something other than ‘manners’ or indifference on your face after all this while.

‘I’m really sorry. I don’t even know how or where to start. I really liked your company, the friendship we had meant a lot to me. But as we got more comfortable, I don’t even know when... but....to be honest..

I started falling for you. I didn’t know what to do, can you understand this?’

He loosened his grip, letting your arm slowly slip out of his hands.

‘Remember the day you gave me the gift? I went home feeling so conflicted. I want us to be together so bad, but I know I can’t even promise you a regular and peaceful life, much less a stable relationship now. The weight of dating an idol, how could I put that upon you? ‘

‘You’re right, I could never carry that weight’ you reply came through like a stab to his heart.

He broke his eyes away from you momentarily. But you continued,

‘All this while, I thought I had done something wrong when I gave you the gift. I wondered why you didn’t come back, I thought we were friends, that’s why I even mustered up courage to get a present for you. But you never came back after that. I thought could it be that Baekhyun ssi started finding me weird like all my bullies last time? Was I over doing it? I asked myself that every now and then, worried that my desire to want to be friends with you may turn you off instead.

Sometimes when you tell funny stories, inside I thought how cute this guy is. When you were serious, I thought even though you’re so cheeky on the outside, you’re a man inside having to carry so many burdens. I wanted to say more, do something for you all this time, but I was worried about so many things.

Eventually when you stopped coming back for a while, I felt heart broken. 

But I used the time to think it all through. What did I want with you? A friendship? Something more? And I decided it’s best to not desire anything at all. I could never handle it if one day I want something more that neither of us could give each other’ 

Though you tried so hard to control, tears rolled down your cheeks. It hurts him to know he was the reason for your tears. 

He reached out to wipe your tears away, and you let him. 

‘Baekhyun ssi, I… I’m sorry too’ 

Overwhelmed with emotions at all the confession and looking at your beautiful face that leaned against his hand, he couldn’t hold back anymore, He closed the gap between both of you and gave you a kiss on the lips. A kiss so light it barely lasted a few seconds.

Heart beating fast, he pulled away slightly, his face still so close to yours. ‘I’m sorry for being selfish right now. But I want you to know this is how I feel.’

Before he knew it, your lips pressed against him once again. Briefly, then pulling away, you pushed him away, putting some distance between the both of you.

‘Me too. But Baekhyun-ssi...

Sometimes love isn’t about possessing, but giving

So I’ve told myself it’s okay for me as long as I can see you and support you in my own way. Be it your albums, shows, or whatever it may be.

My café doors will always be open for you as long as you need a listening ear or even just coffee....

Don’t be sorry. I understand, I just want to be the safe space you can still go to, rather than your burden.. If we were together.’

He could tell you were trying hard to manage a smile just so he could feel better. He moved closer and pulled you into a hug. 

‘I know you said not to be sorry, but I’m sorry ... And thank you’, his voice akin to a whisper

After a long pause, you returned his hug, and at your touch, he was at the brink of tears. You were possibly his once in a lifetime, but here you both were, giving up on each other, for each other.  He tried so hard to hold back his tears, but they streamed down eventually 

He rarely ever cried, but for you… If he couldn’t have you, at least he should be allowed to cry for you. 

He tightened the hug and could only wish for the night to never end. 

——-

Was hella hard to write this, sorry for this really tragic ending.

But partly writing it this way because I guess as fangirls one of the best things we can give our favs is a safe space to be real with us. Love isn’t about possession. So let’s love them right ok☺️

On a side note, was shook at his fan sign convos. Especially the one he said though he said it’s ok if we leave him for a while because it’s difficult to wait, he didn’t actually mean it.

What a sweetheart!! All the more makes me feel like he might really respond this way if he is faced with this kind of situation (as in this fanfic)?!

Anw hope you guys enjoyed this !

Tag(s): @wooya1224

[jobean12-blog]

Top Shelf: Chapter 16- Turning Over a New Leaf

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (Bookshop/Bartender/Baking AU)

Word Count: 2,255

Summary: You’re busy with all the good stuff and renovations are well underway at the Bookshop, you set a date for the reopening, Bucky wants to make a change but he’s not sure how you’ll react. 

Author’s Note: Happy Monday again guys! As always just want to thank you again for coming along on this journey with me. Every time I write a new chapter it makes me smile and I hope you do too. This one was fun for obvious reasons...don’t be mad at me! I had to do it. Thank you again for your continued support and kindess and for reading! Much love always ❤❤❤

Warnings: Fluff (as usual), fun with friends, some sexy teasing and flirting and implied sexy times, Bucky’s beard...

Top Shelf Masterlist 

The next few weeks fly by in a dizzying haze of Bucky, the Bookshop renovations and your friends. You somehow manage to fit working a full-time job in there but it’s the least of your priorities and you are seriously starting to question how much longer you want to work there. It’s great and the people you work with are nice, but your heart just isn’t in it.

It’s already the end of August and Steve is finishing up the construction at the Bookshop. It’s coming along nicely, and he has even gotten Bucky to help and learn a few things along the way. “Hey Buck, hand me that saw please.” Bucky grabs it from the table and hands it to Steve but not before tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear and nearly stabbing himself with the pointy end.

“Bucky. You gotta watch out. You’ve been messin’ with your hair all day. What am I supposed to tell y/n when you’re missing an ear?” Bucky chuckles at that but blows over his face to try to get the hair out of it. “It’s gotten so damn annoying. I really want to cut it.” Steve starts sawing, keeping his eyes on his work while he asks, “then why don’t you just get it cut?” Bucky takes his hair out of the bun and tries to smooth it back, sliding the hair tie over his wrist. “Because I’m pretty sure she’ll kill me if I do.”

Neither of them hears you come in over the sawing and their combined chatter. “Who will kill you if you do what, babe?” Bucky’s head shoots up mid hair fixing, and he smiles. Quickly securing it with the elastic he walks over and grabs you up in a big hug, kissing you several times before placing you on your feet. “I brought lunch,” you say holding up the bags with a warm smile.

Steve whoops and takes one bag, sitting himself on the floor and digging in. “So, Bucky thinks if he cuts his hair you’ll freak,” Steve explains through a mouthful of sandwich. Bucky grits his teeth but manages to look you in the eye, “don’t listen to him, I won’t cut it.” Steve flaps his sandwich in your direction. “He has been complaining about it since we started this and today has been the worst.”

You laugh at Steve with his sandwich but when you catch Bucky’s eye again, he looks worried. A loose strand of hair has fallen in front of his face again and he tries to blow it away. It doesn’t work so you tuck it behind his ear and trail your fingers down his jaw, gently combing through his full beard. “Ok, first of all. I wouldn’t freak out. I love your hair but honestly baby, it would be fine if got it cut. You’ll look handsome with any style and I’m not in love with you for your hair you know.”

Steve makes a gagging noise from the floor and Bucky shoots him a death glare. “Are you choking, or do I need to kick your ass?” He swallows his bite and makes a face, “you guys are sickening you know that.” Popping your head over Bucky’s shoulder you point a finger right at him. “Don’t you start sassing me Steve Rogers…I have to deal with you and Peggy through all this wedding planning and I haven’t said a damn word because I love you and I’m happy to be a part of it. So, shut it! Or…I’ll tell Peggy.”

That shuts him up but not before a few more grumbles. He finishes eating and gets back to work, leaving you two to your hair conversation. “Are you sure you don’t care?” You give Bucky a reassuring smile. “I definitely do not. BUT there is one condition.” His eyebrows meet his hairline as he waits. “You cannot shave your beard.” You say it with such authority and seriousness it has him throwing his head back in laughter. “Ok, boss, you got it.”

Throwing your hands up you roll your eyes and smash the bag of lunch into his chest. “Eat! I got your favorite.” Bucky leans against the table and opens the bag, pulling out his lunch and grinning. “Thanks, beautiful, I’m starving!” He eats it fast and gets back to work with Steve. You ask if they need anything else before heading back to work.

Bucky walks you to the back to get your bag but before you can retrieve it, he has you pressed against the bookshelf. “I wish you didn’t have to go back to work.” His thigh parts your legs and pushes against you, earning him a soft moan. “Bucky…don’t tease,” you whisper, closing your eyes when he starts kissing along your neck. He holds you against the bookshelf for a few more minutes, slowly building you up before he pulls away and smirks.

“Better get back to work before you’re late.” You level him with a warning look, forcefully pulling your bag over your shoulder. “Oh, you’re so dead, Barnes. Two can play at this game.” With that you stalk off, yelling bye to Steve on the way out. “Hey babe, wait,” Bucky calls after you, stopping in his tracks when you turn and glare. “Um, I’m gonna try to make my hair appointment for after work. Just wanted to let you know.” With a twinkle in your eye you give him a thumbs up, “sounds good baby, see you tonight.”

The rest of the day flies by as you push through e-mails for work as well as e-mails regarding the new baking equipment that has to be delivered next week. You’re going to set yourself up with a small kitchen in the back area so everything can be freshly baked at the shop. Bucky is also getting a state-of-the-art coffee machine and all the necessary accessories.

You and Bucky continue you to tease each other over text and when you finally get home, you’re exhausted but completely riled up at the same time.  Deciding a bath might help you relax you fill the tub with hot water and get in, sinking down to your neck and letting out a deep breath. Not long after you hear the sound of the door and Bucky’s voice calling from down the hall.

“I’m in here Buck!” Your eyes are closed so when he first walks in you don’t look up. He kneels down near the tub and brushes his hand over your cheek. “You look soft and relaxed,” he whispers. You hum and turn your head, slowly opening your eyes. With a gasp you sit up, sloshing water out onto the floor. “Oh Bucky. WOW.” He looks concerned and asks, “like a good wow or oh no this is bad wow.”

Instead of answering him you stand up and reach for your towel. His gaze roams over your wet body and he adjusts himself in his jeans. “I’ve been thinking about this all day, you’re not helping, and you didn’t answer my question.” Stepping out of the bath with the help of his hand you wrap the towel around you and look him over again.

“That was a good wow. A very good wow.” Taking your hand, you comb it through his short but fluffy locks. They are silky soft and still long enough to tug which you do, and he moans. “I love it. I love it so much.” Pressing yourself against him you let the towel fall to the floor, placing kisses up his neck and over his beard. “You know, I had this whole plan to put on some lingerie and tease you…give you a taste of your own medicine, but now…” You trail off when your lips find his and you cling to his biceps to steady yourself.

He pulls away, breathing against your lips, “and now?” Your hands are in his hair and your lips brush over his jaw. “Now I can’t wait another minute. I need you.” With those words he lifts you into his arms and takes you to bed, making up for all the teasing and more.

When you wake the next morning, you’re tired and sore but in the most satisfied way. Thankful it’s Friday you take your time getting ready for work, periodically breaking to watch Bucky sleep. His hair is tousled from your hands last night and the morning light catches some of the lighter strands, reminding you of caramel.  You really like this new look.

Once you’re ready to leave you round the bed to give sleeping beauty a kiss. His eyes flutter open when your lips press to his and his hand wraps around the back of your neck. Before he can drag you back into bed you pull away, tracing your fingers over his mouth. “I love you.” His soft smile fades when he closes his eyes again, kissing your hand and murmuring, “I love you,” before his gentle breathing is all you hear.

You stay seated on the edge of the bed for a few more moments, running your fingers through his hair and just admiring how handsome he is. When you finally make it out of the apartment you have to haul ass to make it to work on time, sitting down just as your phone rings. It’s Tony. He wants to discuss setting a date for the re-opening of the bookshop. You update him on the construction and delivery schedule and agree to meet early next week to figure it out.

Nat and Peggy come over later that night and the three of you work on wedding things. Peggy asked you to make the wedding cake and you’re terrified but of course you said yes. So, you spend the evening talking about the boys, trying some cake flavors you baked and looking at wedding dresses on Pinterest. Sam and Bucky are working the bar tonight and Steve is there hanging out, so you keep getting silly pictures of the three of them in a group text.

“Bucky looks pretty amazing with that new haircut,” Peggy comments, looking at the newest photo they sent, “and I wish Steve would let his beard grow out!” Your grin turns devious under your wine glass, “have you told him that?” Peggy smirks, giving you a sideways glance. “Not in those simple words.” Placing your glass down you lean in close as if Bucky is near enough to hear, “we’ve been so busy right, so shaving wasn’t really something Bucky wanted to do regularly because it’s a pain in the ass so his beard kept getting more full and I love it…you know.”

Nat looks at you expectantly and Peggy just looks confused. When your silent for another minute they both shout, “you know what???” Standing up you cover your mouth to stop your giggles and put your hands on your hips, “I can’t believe you aren’t catching my drift here.” They give each other a look then glare at you. “But you haven’t said anything except he didn’t feel like shaving much, so his beard got full,” Peggy states with a hmpf.

Nat’s eyes begin to narrow as she pieces it together. “Oh my god! You mean you like it between your legs, don’t you? You couldn’t have just said that?” She throws a crumpled napkin at your head and you all burst into laughter. Peggy grabs her phone and types a mile a minute, squealing when she sets it down. “I just text Steve and told him I want him to grow a beard so I can feel it between my legs…” You hear your phone chime and suck in a breath. “Did you send it just to Steve or to ALL of us?” Peggy pales, taking her phone and checking the message. “OH MY GOD!”

Next week…

After a very long but productive meeting with Tony you all decide that you should be ready to reopen on September 22nd. It’s the official first day of fall and a perfect way to launch into all the pumpkin spice and fall goodies you have planned. This gives you just about 4 full weeks to bring it all together. You’re sitting on the couch going over a list of what you want to serve at the opening when Bucky walks in after a shower. His long fingers comb over his beard as he watches you. “I still can’t believe Peg sent that text. I’m still laughing.”

“Oh, me too, I nearly peed my pants when it happened. And now that Steve is growing out his beard, we can endlessly tease him!” Silence descends and you feel the couch dip when he sits, drawing your attention from the list. “Hi.” Leaning forward you kiss his cheek and sit yourself in his lap. “Wanna see my list so far?” He wraps his arms around you and leans his head on your shoulder. “Of course. Do I get to taste test all of these?”

Counting down your list you have 8 treats, none of which he has eaten yet. “Oh definitely, I’m going to be doing a lot of baking the next couple of weeks. I can bring them to the bar for Sam and everyone to try too.” With his face in your neck Bucky hums his agreement. “You know what I think I’m most excited about,” he says, tickling you with his beard. “What?” you laugh, turning to meet his eyes. “For Grandma to see it all.”

@aesthetical-bucky​ @auro-ora​ @bugsbucky​ @buckys-broody-muffin​ @buckys-henley​ @buckys-minty-breath​ @book-dragon-13​ @bucky-on-my-mind​ @eurynome827​ @hiddles-rose​ @ikaris-whore​ @itsunclebucky​ @imgaril-lindru​ @jhangelface0523​ @jewels2876​ @kaosera​ @loricameback​ @lorilane33​ @littledarlinhavefaithinme​ @littleredstarfish​ @breezy1415​ @mushyjellybeans​ @marvelandotherfandomimagines​ @marvelgirl7​ @nano--raptor​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @randomfandompenguin​ @sallycanwait68​ @softpeachbarnes​ @tuiccim​ @the-wayward-robot​ @yansi1923​ @hiddles-rose​ @hailmary-yramliah​ @hawksmagnolia​ @flyawaybay​ @throwmyheartawayagain​ @amandatar-06​ @nd1998sc​ @captainchrisstan​ @vherriepie​ @godofplumsandthunder​ @when-the-hell-is-bucky​ @fire-flv​ @jamesbarnesappreciationclub​ @irishflutiegirl​ @rinthehufflepuff​ @moonybarnes​ @nordlysinthewoods​ @scarletsoldierrr​ @inflxmes @lauratang​ @my-favorite-fics-and-imagines​ @buchanansebba​ @emilylyoness​ @curlyred2020 @addikted-2-dopamine​ @lady-pswrld​ @lookiamtrying​ @tales-of-spring​ @lokilvrr​ @mishaandthebrits​

[annaofthenorthernlights]

Driving licence

Kristanna Modern AU fanfiction

Spontaneous idea popping up in my brain´s headcanon department when spotting a driving school car a few days ago... Enjoy! 😉

Rating: G

Word counting: 2064

Note: I refer to the driving examinations as they are practiced in Germany, Europe – so this might happen somewhere in Mid Germany…

Anna Arendelle was nervous. She must pass this test. Her family would decapitate her if she failed. It was embarrassing enough, that as a daughter of the well-respected car industrial family, she had not yet made it to the driving licence. Anna had recently celebrated her 21st birthday and her father had stated that it was about time for her to line up in family business. He compared it like her being a butcher´s daughter, but living vegetarian…

So, here she was now, waiting in front of the state vehicle inspection center in Wernigerode, for the examiner to join them. Matthias, her driving instructor, reminded her sincerely of driving slowly and watching the road signs. Then, she would be fine. Yes, she would, she was determined. After all, she had been brilliant at the theory test. She would handle this with graciousness and gallant routine. Oh dear, she needed to seek the toilet a last time. But there was not time. Hold it!

There was not time to muse any longer, when a tall blond man emerged from the building, stepping up to them. Anna could hear Matthias letting out a deep breath and quickly he whispered one more time to her ear, “slowly Anna, I beg you, drive slowly!”

“Anna Arendelle?”

“Yes.”

“Hi. Kristoff Bjorgman. I´m your examiner. Hi Matthias, how are you doing?”

“Good day, Kristoff. Thank you, alright. It´s a lovely day for a nice drive, isn´t it?”

So, Matthias seemed to know the big guy with the most wonderful brown eyes Anna had seen before in her life. She forced herself not to stare at him. Gosh, what Greek god was working here at this boring and torturing place?

The Greek god was not the pleasure type. He simply replied dryly, “shall we?”

When they had all taken their seats in the driving school car and had fastened their seatbelts (Matthias behind her), Mr. Bjorgman explained to Anna the procedure of the next 45 minutes. He would announce in time if she had to change directions. The manoeuvres would be asked in a safe place and if she had a question, she should ask. There was no reason to worry. All she had to do was to show her capability of handling the road and surrounding traffic.

Okay, he seemed kind and patient. She could do this! Stop staring at the man….

She had checked the mirrors and was ready to set off.

“Alright Miss Arendelle, please make your way out of the parking lot and at the main road you turn in direction of Elbingerode.” Should she secretly call him Eros? Concentrate!...

Anna started the engine and drove VERY slowly through the parking area. At the main road, she halted the car and elaborately checked the road, the mirrors, the road, the road sign, the road, the mirrors... A quiet clearing of throat came to her ears from the right, and the man clicked his pen and put down some note. Oh dear, he was displeased already…

Anna had made her way onto the main road and was now driving into the direction of Elbingerode. So far, so good. She prayed that the traffic today would have mercy on her and there were no great troubles at left turns at any crossing.

So, they would drive for a while like this. Some red lights. Some turns. Nothing severe. After another while, Anna started to feel more at ease and Matthias behind her seemed relaxed. It gave her a good feeling and for some reason, though she would not realise it, she started to increase her speed.

“Miss Arendelle, what road are we on?”

Why would he ask? He had told her to drive that way…

“Ehm… On the main road in direction to Helmstedt.”

“Yes, and what speed limit would be required in town?”

“50 km/h…. Oh dear, I´m sorry. “…. The speedometer showed 60 km/h… Not good, not good… Concentrate!

At some point, they left the town centre and came into a living area. She had to slalom the road-calming structures and watch the entering streets. All was calm and Anna felt safe, just driving on. She had not realised having missed d a “no right of way” sign and happily drove on.

“Excuse me, Miss. Have you not seen the sign?”

“What sign?” Anna was confused, what was it now?

“The ´no right of way´ sign? You just crossed the road without even checking, nor slowing down!” Mr. Bjorgman seemed bewildered. Upsie….

“Ehm, no… Sorry… But luckily there was nothing coming, was there?” She chuckled nervously and tried to look very concentrated and serious about her mission, when she noticed the clicking sound of the pen scrabbling on the protocol board…

When they finally left town, the traffic lessened, and the road lay open before them. Anna enjoyed the free feeling without trucks and other cars in front or pushing from behind her. And now she was allowed to speed up (to 100 km/h).

“Please take the autoroute in direction of Blankenburg. So, she did and increasing the speed up to 120 km/h was even better. Anna started to hum a tune and relax in her seat just a bit more. After a few minutes, she got asked to leave the autoroute again and head back towards Wernigerode on the state road.

Outside town there was a lovely Drive-in that signed “Luigi´s Pizzeria – rasten und feiern” (rest and feast). There Anna was meant to park the car, frontways, sideways, and backways. She had to adjust the wheels once or twice (which was basically allowed).

Another quest was the full stop performance and the start at the hillside.

Back at the parking lot of the vehicle inspection center, Anna turned off the engine and pulled the hand break. They all emerged from the car and Matthias slightly shook his head when Anna quickly exchanged a look. Her hopes sank below zero…

“Well, Miss Arendelle,” Mr. Bjorgman started, “what do you think how you´ve done?”

“Ehm… I don´t know. I guess I did great with the manoeuvres. Otherwise, I felt pretty safe at handling the tasks that got asked of me.”

Kristoff Bjorgman seemed to consider his words, but then he stated the things the way they were.

“You´re right. Your manoeuvring was good, and I mark those as passed and sufficiently performed. But about your driving manner… I´m sorry but I cannot confirm your passing the test today. You were too fast at most of the time. You crossed a junction without checking nor slowing down. You passed a bus line, that was not allowed. You head towards the traffic lights too fast. You need to control your speed. I´m sorry. So, next time, all you´ll have to do is prove your controlled driving. You won´t need to repeat the manoeuvres. Alright?”

No, she was not alright. Tears mingled behind her eyes, but she would blink them away with force. After all, he had not screamed at her any words of stupidity. That, she would hear later, she was aware of that… No. Kristoff Bjorgman did not even know her. He had done his job. And it wasn´t his fault that she had been driving like a moron today.

“Thank you, Mr. Bjorgman. I will do that.”

*****

2 weeks later…

Anna and Matthias waited again in front of the inspection center. Some other young man was waiting a bit further down the parking lot and Anna felt sorry for him, just as she did for herself. Maybe she got lucky, and Kristoff Bjorgman would be her examiner again. She would prove to him that she had learned and was a fully capable and respectable traffic member.

The examiner was someone different. Mr. Oaken looked like he had just dropped out of a comic movie or something alike. He seemed a funny chap. But still, Anna was determined to prove her seriousness today.

Again, they had all taken their seats and ready to start. Mr. Oaken had asked her to start the same way as she had last time. All she would have to do today, was to drive nicely and show her control of speed management throughout the drive.

Anna had just started the engine, checked the mirrors one last time, had pulled out of her parking lot, and was about to drive slowly towards the exit. It had been a mere instant, but in the corner of her eye she had spotted a blond head. And when she dared a quick glance, she noticed the young examiner standing on the pavement, looking at her while lifting his hand and smiling briefly. He has seen you and wishes you good luck!!!...

Anna´s foot slipped, and she strangled the engine.

It was so embarrassing. She had whispered a short “sorry”, and hurried to get the way out of there… But slowly, all slowly of course!

After another 45 minutes, the nightmare was over and Mr. Oaken seemed pleased with what he had witnessed. That was it. Anna had passed and got to hold her driving licence.

But Eros was not there to congratulate her…

*****

Kristoff had checked the list of driving students in the morning and had spotted her name at once. It was a good thing, that Olaf Oaken was going to be her examiner. He would do her good. Better than he had done. Kristoff had learned in all this time of his job, not to connect to much with the driving students. It was his job to check out their capability to handle the car, the traffic and if possible both at the same time.

But it had been different with Anna Arendelle. He had no idea why that was so. It was not her name, he was sure. Kristoff did not pay much attention to famous names. A driving student was a driving student at test, no matter where they came from. It was Kristoff´s opinion that nobody should feel in a position to actually “buy” his driving licence. And apparently, Anna had been upset about herself, not about him. She had not misused her family name to force him of giving his consent. She had taken his remarks and now she was here again to have another try. For some reason, he really hoped she would make it.

Now, he sat in the car with this other young man, and he could not help but think of her. He had felt so bad when she had strangled off the engine before. Apparently, she had been distracted. His fault. Olaf had just grinned. He was a witty guy, that one. Surely, he would not scold her for this little failure.

When he returned, Anna and Matthias had left already. He felt somewhat disappointed...

*****

A few days later, Kristoff waited at the bus stop, while his car was at the repair shop.

Suddenly a nice green VW Golf slowed down and pulled right into the bus stop lot. A broad grinning red head leaned over and let down the passenger´s window. Kristoff could not help but grin back at the familiar face.

“I know, I know,” Anna exclaimed, “it´s not allowed to park on the bus stop lot. But I´d say this is not parking, while I have still the engine running. I just spotted you standing there and thought… well… Can I give you a lift?”

Kristoff laughed and accepted the invitation. And even before he had fastened his seat belt, the little Golf drove off with a swift flow, needling back into the flowing traffic.

“So, congratulations to your passed examination. I have seen Olaf Oaken´s remarks. Not bad, I must say.”

“Thank you,” Anna stated, while checking the mirrors and concentrating on the road.

They drove for a while and then Anna asked, shrugging her shoulders. “So, where are we going?”

Kristoff felt a light flash in his chest. Why would that be so? Alright, he was no examiner at that moment. Or was he? Was he may be interested in connecting with this young lady for another reason? So, for a moment and for a change, he felt like being at her mercy now… But he would risk it!

“What about the Drive-in, outside town. You remember “Luigi's Pizzeria”? We could have a drink, or dinner if you like and if you have time in the first place?”

“Sounds lovely!”