#milo is his favorite person too <3

[moocha-muses]

"I guess it is about time for me to step down and let the younger crowd take over. Beckett's been nipping right at my heels for the past couple of years."

"And just think of all the time we'll have to smooch! Without any of the kids around."

[pearl-kite]

Hi I know this is out of nowhere and sorry if you answered it before. Also totally ok if you don’t want to answer

But your blog got me super interested in the redacted asmr thing

I did some research and you seem to know a lot about so do you know if there’s any like, chronological order I should watch them?

Love your blog!

Absolutely no worries! I like getting stuff to respond to, it's the opposite of a bother <3

So Redacted Audio, formerly Redacted ASMR, is a channel on youtube with a, quite frankly, massive amount of audio, and since it's been running for over 4 years now it can be a LOT to sort through. Fortunately, he's done a really good job curating and organizing playlists for the different speaker-characters.

Everything is within the same universe, and many of the characters have interacted with each other. The context is that the location is a fictional city named Dahlia set somewhere in California, which is a "cornerstone" city for magical society. The best way to get a solid rundown on magic and the setting is to listen through the Freelancer Season 1 playlist.

This one is already arranged in chronological order* and also has the benefit of giving a sampler of sorts for a wider variety of speakers. One thing to be aware of ahead of time: While this was actively being published, Erik hadn't decided who the listener-character (nicknamed Freelancer) would be romancing, so it starts off with a lot of potential toward all of them except Caelum. As it went, there were polls in the discord server that he used to run, and popular consensus eventually narrowed it down to Gavin. The first time I listened was after all of that, and I was more fond of Damien, but I'm personally pleased with Gavin now, and this playlist has been one of my favorites to just revisit if I'm bored.

*Well, mostly. There was a point where the channel got a strike for some of the audios being too spicy and he removed and/or edited some of them to try to avoid being demonetized. The first Gavin audio is one of the ones that got edited, and #3 on the playlist accidentally got relocated. It's been a long time, but I think it was originally after what's now #6, the second Caelum audio.

Aside from that one as a good introduction to the channel as a whole, there are some "main" characters that have had the most attention.

One is a group of wolf shifters: David, the current head of the pack (Chronological for his listener. A lot of people aren't super fond of the earliest ones for him, #3-5, because the character evolved a bit and they aren't really representative any longer) Asher, his second Milo, another pack member, which is absolutely underselling him, he's one of my favorites

There are a couple of vampires: Vincent, the OG for the channel Sam, a common favorite who's listener is a member of David's pack

While most of the playlists are specific to character, there are a few thematic ones as well, all of which are chronological within themselves. Now, chronology with respect to each other can start to get a bit confusing, because of how long it's taken for some of them to play out.

If you want to get a feel for the characters before worrying too much about timeline, I'd listen through most playlists as they're arranged with one main caveat:

When you hit the audios titled Inversion, give those a pause until you've listened to more speakers. Inversion was a huge crossover he did that has 10+ speakers involved.

A personal favorite has been Vega. I'm actually super not fond of the first audio he's in, which is also in the Freelance list, so I skip that one when I relisten. The first one in this list is that one with the Freelancer, but the second and onward has a demon listener nicknamed Warden. We just got an update on his story today/last night and I've been a little unwell about it 🙃

I am realizing I could go on and on and on and I kind of have, so I'm going to stop there. Hopefully that's enough to dip your toes in. I'll gladly help out with any follow-up questions, too :3

[sincerelywhistler]

♡ SWEETHEART ♡

More headcanons (ft. Milo) under the cut!

• Sasha is a gender-neutral name of Slavic origin, meaning “defender” and “helper of mankind”. It’s often a nickname for Alexander (their deadname) or Alexandra.

• Mother is Russian, father is Irish

• Their past colleagues have playfully nicknamed them as Donnie in college and it just stuck, as the last name Donovan, an Irish name meaning “dark”… Donnie… Donnie Darko… do you see where I’m going with this

• 6’ beanpole so they’re taller then Mile Low’s 5’9 self <3

• Professional little spoon

• Came out as nonbinary at 17. Their parents didn’t take it very well, but their mom came around eventually

• Lives up to the noir film aesthetic with their classy style, preferring deep palettes with black and rich browns

• Eventually quit smoking cigarettes with Milo’s encouragement

• Vegetarian icon

• Loner kid in their schooling years. Their type A personality was often misunderstood and came across as “too bossy”

• Loved the Goosebumps books growing up

• They need their morning coffee or else they will actually fucking kill you

• They snort when they laugh really hard and only Milo and their older brother, Nikolai, can get them to that point

• Mimosa brunches with Marie 😌

• Always humming to themself

• LOVES wearing lingerie

• Favorite place to kiss Milo is his jawline because they get to nuzzle their nose into him a bit. They like it when he kisses their knuckles and up their arm

• They’re ALWAYS running their fingers through their mate’s hair. Milo melts every time bc head scratches are supreme. He wouldn’t let anyone else dare touch his hair

• I can’t explain exactly why but they give me bergamot chai cologne vibes and I’m so here for it

• Can’t have any piercings visible due to work policy? No problem. Downstairs piercings are a good compromise (frenum, if you’re wondering)

[aggro-my-beloved]

《 ♡ Soulmate September Schedule ♡ 》

hello lovely fandom, @aggro-my-beloved here! i’m over the moon to announce that for the entire month of september i will be posting soulmate au centered fics featuring your favorite redacted pairings! some are canon, some are not…but all the works listed below are ones i’m proud to share. the plots and pairings will be listed below the cut. please interact by replying or reblogging this post, and let me know if you’d like to be tagged in any of the following fics once they are

posted <3 (p.s. pls don’t let this flop)

all the following prompts are based on this post from my main blog, @buck-nialled

⑨.②.②④ ⇒ “Long In The Tooth” (LaskoxDear)

[lasko’s been eighteen for six years now, and frankly, he’s becoming sick of playing a juvenile. what makes his endeavor for a soulmate even more bewildering? they’re one of his students.]

❾.❹.❷❹ ⇒ “Trash Polka” (AsherxBabe)

[babe is tired of wearing hoodies in summer, and leggings in the spring. but their soulmate seems too caught up in his career to mind leaving little notes and drawings on their skin, rather than meeting up for a legitimate conversation. babe takes matters into their own hands, which soon won’t be covered by a mod-podge of their soulmate’s scribbles. at least, one can hope.]

⑨.⑥.②④ ⇒ “The Grey Area” (GuyxHoney)

[what’s more depressing than witnessing an amusement park in black and white? realizing it may be the last time you visit one, is probably what guy would answer, as he dangles upside down on Wonderworld’s “Surge” coaster. the pretty stranger next to him isn’t the worst company, though.]

❾.❽.❷❹ ⇒ “A Great Disservice” (DavidxAngel)

[david serves a dangerous line of work. and angel? they cat sit. still, both come home with cuts and scratches for the same reason.]

⑨.①⓪.②④ ⇒ “Rumination” (DamienxHuxley)

[a re-imagined dialogue to the elemental bois confessing their feelings.]

❾.❶❷.❷❹ ⇒ “Resigned/Sullen” (DavidxAsher)

[neither david nor asher have spoken post-inversion about the turmoil they experienced in the arena. not the scars that wouldn’t heal, not what caused them, and certainly not who kept asher from bleeding out on the ground.]

⑨.①④.②④ ⇒ “Pulsation” (Foolsverse!MiloxSweetheart)

[milo enjoys feeling his soulmate’s heart thump faster when he’s present. but only when he’s present.]

❾.❶❻.❷❹ ⇒ “Like and Unlike” (Davidxfem!Angel)

[angel thinks she’s finally found a cure for her crippling social anxiety at Dahlia’s local gym. but she cannot tell if david, the ill-tempered coach, will be the one to make or break her progress.]

⑨.①⑧.②④ ⇒ “Parting Song” (QuinnxDarlin’)

[when you’re standing next to who you think is your soulmate, as you watch the real one whither away in a shitty steel department chair—how do you respond?]

❾.❷⓪.❷❹ ⇒ “Battered and Bruised” (Samx Darlin’)

[so long as he doesn’t tell them, sam can keep up his act of healing darlin’ without suspicion. it’s magic, after all…]

⑨.②②.②④ ⇒ “Twin, Where Have You Been?” (MiloxSweetheart)

[“well, sweetheart. one of us is gonna have to change.” in which milo and his soulmate will forever be that couple.]

❾.❷❹.❷❹ ⇒ “Midnight Oil” (AaronxSmartass)

[the matchmaker test is the one exam nobody can study for. only fate will tell a person who they truly belong with. still, aaron attempts to pull an all nighter with his overly-charming classmate in an attempt to cheat the system.]

⑨.②⑥.②④ ⇒ “All Roads Lead To…” (DavidxDarlin’)

[david’s twelve years young and still leashed in red, wondering when he’ll meet the one on the other side of it, or if he even wants to. darlin’ is eleven years in, a hopeless romantic, and crossing the California state line when they notice their red string now has a little slack.]

❾.❷❽.❷❹ ⇒ “Change Your Tune” (GeordixCutie)

[cutie’s soulmate is the number one target on their shit list. because who on god’s green earth gets the tetris theme stuck in their head on a daily basis? well, they’re about to meet him...]

⑨.③⓪.②④ ⇒ “As If You’ll Live Forever” (ElliotxSunshine)

[the one thing more ironic than sunshine’s soulmate being a dreamwalker is how tired they’ve become of sleeping.]

[x-v0id-x]

yaho! just discovered ur blog and omg i love ur sillies already heuhehheuheuheuehheee im so normal

what if ur ocs and darling go out in public, and when someone tries to flirt with them and darling just waltzes up to then all like "babe!! can we leave? i think we've finished everything we need to take care of here~" whilst giving the flirt a death stare teehee

Hihi!! Oh my goodness I’m super glad!! (n˘v˘•)¬ Being normal is in fact my favorite activity. But this is a great idea oh my gosh >w< 

Also I love your Shizuku pfp!! 

<3 This is so silly considering Milo and Kai are very aware of their surroundings nearly at all times. 

<3 Milo loves fashion, so they’d especially love going on shopping trips with you, which is exactly why you two were out together. But honestly they’d find any reason to get you to spend time with them (*-ω-)

<3 Honestly? They had seen that wretched person from a mile away. The second they got too close to you for Milo’s liking they were already thinking of all the different ways to make sure no one would find that body. However Milo doesn’t want to make their intent obvious, and of course they don’t want to scare you! Well at least not right now. 

<3 But then you completely dismiss the person! Not saying a word to them! Milo was only watching from the corner of their eye, so when they finally looked over, there you were in front of him!

<3 “Dear, I think we’re done here. Let’s leave, okay?~” Your voice made Milo melt every single time. 

<3 To say Milo was happy would be an understatement. Seeing you look at that person like the disgusting filth they were would honestly make them so giddy. You almost looked scary, if it wasn’t for how cute you were to them (つ∀<●) Though the thought of you being scary to him too made Milo go all pink in the face ♡

<3 They’d scoop you up and kiss you from your face to your neck, making sure to be as loving as possible in front of the person. I mean, it is their fault for flirting with you. They should’ve known better. 

<3 “Oh, of course, darling~ I’d want nothing more.” (ෆ’∀’ෆ) 

<3 He’d carry you all the way to the car, gushing about how sweet you were and how happy he was to have you, once you’re home they’re practically all over you for the rest of the night >< 

<3 Such simple things coming from you make Milo so happy（*’∀’人）♥

<3 Now Kaito on the other hand isn’t afraid to show this person what they’re messing with. 

<3 Kai isn’t one for going out often, but some new merchandise from a brand you really like came out, so of course he wouldn’t refuse going with you to check it out. 

<3 From the moment that idiot started to stare at you, Kai was already right behind you, constantly glaring back at the person. Though either they were too stupid to notice or too stupid to care. Either way it was not about to end well (^_^;

<3 But lucky them, you turned around, totally disregarding the person and now facing Kai. It was enough to make him pause and focus his attention on you. 

<3 “Babe!! We should go, I already checked out everything I wanted to see~” And you looked at the idiot with the meanest look Kai’s ever witnessed you have. 

<3 Kai had mixed feelings. On one hand he loved that you were shoving it in this bastard’s face that you were clearly with him. On the other hand, you focusing on that other person and not him was bothering him (❁≧_≦)

<3 You felt Kai’s hand on your chin, redirecting your head to look back at him, his expression the same as always. But there was a glint of pride in his eyes. You grinned back at him, leaning into his hand.

<3 “Whatever. Not buyin’ anything right?” You shook your head in response, and with that Kai grabbed your hand and began leading the way out. 

<3 Kai isn’t a fan of pda, but just before you left he made sure that fucker was watching as he kissed you against the wall of the store right before leaving (⺣◡⺣)♡*

<3 Once your guys were home, he wouldn’t let you out of his line of reach. You stayed in his lap the rest of the night while he held you close, his hands sometimes wandering below the waist (〃ω〃) But he wouldn’t do anything too big.

<3 Not unless you asked nicely ♡

[perfectlovevn]

Hi! I just wanted to say I really like your art style. It's specifically to my liking lol. Especially the expressions on characters. It gave me a good scare when I first saw that cg of Milo, smiling with all of his teeth, eyes bloodshot and all. I admire Eris's composure honestly. It must be uncomfortable having Milo breathing down your neck at 3 am in the morning while trying to sleep... Anyway! Each character is very unique. They're not boring at all and that's a lot because some vn's are really not the best with side characters. With that, the whole vibe of the game is also amazing. It creeped me out and also got me hooked. You're good at this. In addition, preMilo was my favorite rather than his other versions. He just looks so pathetic. Eris is so real for choosing him. Go bestie 💓 💖 💕

...I think I rambled too much sorry

Daww, thank you. I actually developed a slight change to my art style for this game ( I tend to try to change it up a bit, so this one is a bit different than how I normally draw it. I think that I’m generally really good at drawing unsettling expressions so thank you!

Eris is something else, but you need that kind of strong will if you want your perfect love lol. A lot of the side characters (minus Ryan and Poison) are from other series that I have, and hopefully I was able to show their personalities in the short time they had together! Hopefully the extra stories will expand on each of those characters more as well.

Thank you very much! It makes me really happy t that a lot of people have such a positive experience with my game, despite it being my first one. I’m also more used to writing comedy than horror, so the fact that people were pretty creeped out by it makes me very proud. PreMilo is very cute, I admit. I really tend to like really shy awkward yanderes like him, but unfortunately to get the ball rolling with the concept of the game he doesn’t get that much screen time. Alas, that’s the price you pay when you want something.

[https-milo]

HTTPS-MILO PRESENTS..!

FLUFFTOBER 2024 !!

Every few days in October, a different fluffy one-shot will be released by yours truly!

Credits to @https-kreideprinz for the prompts from their post! (the names in bold are their prompts!!)

1 ☾ Costumes / Eijiro Kirishima !! - going costume shopping with your boyfriend!

2 ☾ Baking / Satoru Gojo !! - unsurprisingly, he cannot bake... buttt the first years are counting on some desserts!

3 ☾ Party / Denki Kaminari !! - "You new around here?" "I'm in your math class."

5 ☾ Sweater Weather / Yuta Okkatsu !! - changing seasons means changing weather... it gets pretty cold! Luckily, your boyfriend offers you his sweater

6 ☾ Movie / Mina Ashido !! - Mina has been begging to see the latest slasher that came out... too bad she gets too scared halfway through

8 ☾ Sweets / Ranpo Edogawa !! - It's Ranpo's favorite season. But only because you come in with new candies every day

9 ☾ Bandages / Shota Aizawa !! - You've been tasked with changing his bandages after the USJ incident by Recovery Girl.

11 ☾ Apple Orchard / Atsushi Nakajima !! - Your boyfriend accidentally lets it slip he's never been to an orchard. Appalled, you take it upon yourself to show him your favorite part of the season

12 ☾ Nightmare / Tsuyu Asui !! - Maybe listening to that murder podcast before bed wasn't a good idea... Luckily, your unbothered girlfriend has you covered!

14 ☾ Pumpkin Carving / Megumi Fushiguro !! - He's never carved a pumpkin before. But, you're a certified self-proclaimed expert!

15 ☾ Scars / Dabi !! - "Pretty? That's new." "Just the truth!!"

17 ☾ Warmth / Suguru Geto !! - It's so cold!! There's only one solution... cling to your boyfriend for warmth! (Little do you know he messed with the thermostat for that exact reason)

18 ☾ Potions / Tomura Shigaraki !! - You discover a potion that smells like your soulmate... so why does it smell like your longtime best friend?

20 ☾ Midnight / Osamu Dazai !! - "I'm gonna need someone to kiss at midnight" "...That's New Year's."

21 ☾ Spells / Ochaco Uraraka !! - You cast a love spell on your best friend... except you didn't actually. So why is she acting like that?

23 ☾ Luck / Chuuya Nakahara !! - You've been winning an awful amount of UNO rounds...

24 ☾ Masquerade / Izuku Midoriya !! - You meet the loveliest person at a masquerade party. You're forced to leave before you can get his name or number. That new kid in your art class sounds a lot like him though!

26 ☾ Music / Choso !! - Your half-curse boyfriend never took an interest in music before... well until you shared headphones on his rooftop, of course.

27 ☾ Haunted House / Katsuki Bakugo !! - Going to a haunted house with your boyfriend sounds like a good idea on paper, right? Well sure, until he almost blasts the scare worker's face off!

29 ☾ Hayride / Yuji Itadori !! - A simple relaxing hayride with your boyfriend. At the end of it, you get a pumpkin child!

30 ☾ Vampire / Shoto Todoroki !! - Being a vampire hunter wasn't an easy job. Especially when the vampire on your hitlist is a cutie!

31 ☾ Halloween / various (from all three fandoms >3<) !! - celebrating Halloween with your favorite people

I'm doing a lot of MHA because that's what my blog is mostly about!!

I cannot wait for this October <33 it'll be my first flufftober I participate in (well tbf I was never on tumblr before may this year so like...)

© https-milo. please do not repost, steal, copy, or modify my works!

Thank you so much for reading <3

[running-tweezers]

Milo/Sweetheart, please? Thank you!

Hi Romi 💕

Before I answer this, I do need to preface. In my fandom past, I was once a MAJOR Newsies fan. SUPER into Newsies. A ‘Fansie’ if you will. And when I showed Milo videos to my best friend of 20+ years, who has seen every one of my fandom phases, they looked me square in the eye and said “you like him because he’s Newsies-coded.” And I have never in my life felt so called out and attacked.

But the thing is, they’re right. He is Newsies coded. Milo would legitimately love Newsies. The backbone of the show is the righteous anger of the little guys who stand up to the powers that be to get things done and make change. They also all happen to have really thick New York accents, but that’s just a bonus.

As for song, I’m thinking “Once and For All” which is the climax of the show and has a real goosebump inducing musical shift moment towards the end that always gets me hyped.

As for Sweetheart, they’re definitely giving me shades of Chicago. (And I’m not just saying this bc Chicago is in my top 3 musicals of all time and I got to see it recently) The show just OOZES a very particular cool vibe that really matches well with Sweetheart, at least in my mind. Plus I’ve always personally headcanoned Sweetheart as having a guilty pleasure kind of love for crime dramas, so that fits well too.

For Sweetheart’s favorite song, I feel like I HAVE to go Cell Block Tango. Bc honestly how could I not, it’s iconic.

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hi hiii!! :DDD Doing this bad boy to see what happens. >:333

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? Rule 34 and Dinner and Diatribes. I don't know. Something about the just barely masked tension in both those songs, the way they both fit so well with characters/ships/dynamics I adore, and their general energy and instrumentation SINGS to me. <3 <3 <3. I may not listen to them as often as others but they are my entire brain constantly. Favourite lines from both are: "You look so good There on your knees Such a good girl knows how to please Look at me look me in the eyes Forget yourself, surrender your mind" - Rule 34 (Mostly for the visuals and the change of voice) And "I knew it from the first look of The look of mischief in your eyes" - Dinner and Diatribes (This line sets the tone of the entire song so well, the visual is so interesting and the way it's sung is so intimate in a way I cannot describe. Literally so good.)

What is your Enneagram type? 4w5 :3.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? I fucking love them so bad <3. I think currently the Lightlark and Nightbane ones by KrimsonRogue are really good. Just... so much content, and also writing advice, and also dying inside listening to a review of a cringe book. Literally sustains my life.

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. I didn't really have them in the traditional sense, but the closest things I had was imagining chatting with or interacting with characters I liked from shows, especially once I found visual novels XD. And that evolved into characters running around in my brain and now I am a writer. :P So. These bitches clawed their way into my head at age 10 and never left.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? Rain sounds. Storm sounds. Wind sounds. Especially if they just come from outside but I also do just put them on on my computer and turn off the screen often, letting them play on the stereo. :P

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) Names are fucking weird man. I am currently in the process of reconsidering mine, and I am starting to like the idea of something more wacky, and star themed, or snow themed. :P I don't know if I'd like it long term but Redacted and DnD have very much warmed me up to names like that lol.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? Why must I chose one? You're so mean. Uuuuum... Deferred Judgment methinks. It shows a lot of Vega's softness and even some selflessness, while also a bit of the risk that his mission entails and MAN- THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT WHEN IT CAME OUT WAS SO MUCH. I hated it way back when but damn... it was really good. Still is. Cannot wait to see him again. Miss him real bad.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) Um... Guy, Ollie, NICK. OH GODS NOT NICK. And most of the fooliverse boys besides Milo. I am not exactly the type for sweet boys. I like some of them but their chaos or overt sweetness is... too much.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. Can't say I have gotten that obsessed with media like that sadly. I am more of a Podcast/ASMR/Audioplay/Music person buuuut... hm... I mean- does a book I'm writing count??? I have quite a bit of the words of that thing up in the noggin often. It's not done yet but :P.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? Oh man. Damien. He is super similar to me in his passion and his love of learning and his general personality (minus the anger, that I am less prone to.) And the other boys up on top of my list I am more queerplatonic about so. :P

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) Oh no I will ramble about anything at any time. <3 <3 <3. I am not well ever <3.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. Spicy or Soup chips (Salt and Vineger, Chili/Cheese, etc), often Doritos or Cheetos (or Hickery Sticks if they have them), and either mineral water or an orange Soda/Slushy. And if it's cold I often go chips, sour candy and hot cocoa <3.

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.  Hozier's Unheard and Wasteland Baby. Both have songs I utterly adore.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? None. I feel guilty about nothing that I consume <3 <3 <3.

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! I am a lover of art and the arts, and am actually studying art currently for my major. I would consider myself very much Vampiric in some ways (My disconnect in the way I write/speak from a specific time period or place, humanity is familiar but also fucking weird, the sun burns, I'm dramatic and want the fashion to prove it, blood good (no I won't explain) etc.), and I am a weird philosophical bastard who likes to make characters out of vague concepts, and then explore them to their most painful depth. Also varied morality and/or moral quandaries are very important to me. Morality is a weird soup and I like to play with it. (Ironic since my own morals are so strict and fixed, and yet I love writing characters who have different ones.) Aka Evil Bitches Good. And also I am one of them (if only as a writer. Love writing cruel angst to hurt my friends and characters with <3 <3 <3.) Anyhow that's all for me for now. <3 <3 <3 (Hope this is not too obscenely long.)

Pssssst- .3. Hellooo- I submmited a matchup thing but I think I did an oopsie XD. I'm an Enneagram 5w4 but I think I flipped them. So- just saying that. If it changes anything lol- My baddd- I just noticed when thinking on it. :P

Hmm, this enneagram type is characterized as creative, intelligent, and stubborn, with something to prove to the world- which tracks as you relate to Damien. With that in mind, who else could I pair you with but Huxley?

Huxley is a kind, patient, go with the flow kind of guy but not too silly which you said you don’t vibe with. You give me the impression of an insular, cerebral person, someone with a lot of ideas and thoughts that need to be finalized and put on paper, and Huxley seems like a good partner to help with that, to be your rock (ha) and help you keep those trains of thought on track while also being vocally supportive and hyping up your work the whole time. He’s sweet to you but not so sweet he doesn’t love you and your love of villains and their fucked-up deeds.

And it’s a wonderful love Huxley gives you every day, with the sturdy support and cool shade of a great tree. When you’re studying or doing schoolwork, he’s always there bringing you water or food, massaging your shoulders if you’ve been slouching. He listens to your rambles with rapt attention and affection, retaining every detail. He is your beta reader and biggest fan. He drives you to and from school with a thermos of homemade hot chocolate because his leagues is better than the store-bought stuff, and he won’t let you forget it.

Song:

And I remember being younger and my mother told me the truth/ Find someone who grows flowers in the darkest parts of you/ Take heed when things get hard and don't you ever turn around/ You'll find someone, someday, somewhere that grows you to the clouds

I feel like this song choice needs no explanation. One, the vibes are kind of just right if you’re a Hozier fan; the folk-y, country-like longing is just what the matchmaker prescribed (the matchmaker being me). Two, it’s delightfully charming and ironic given your dislike of the sun and the pet name of Sunflower I will soon have him give you.

Runner-ups:

Cam is a fun runner-up for you because I think he, as a therapist, would have a lot to contribute to your writing and dissection of villains along with the empathy to see the depth and dimension you want to give them. Lasko is another runner-up I like given how much you relate to Damien, because Damien/Lasko has always struck me as a darling pair, two sides of the same coin.

Bonus: (For you, my one hundredth match-up~)

“Sunflower…”

“Fifteen more minutes, Hux; I’ve almost figured this out.”

“You said that forty-five minutes ago, baby,” Huxley says with a soft, warm laugh and big, warmer hands on your shoulders, gently turning your chair around. “It’s time for bed.”

“But my chapter-“ you say with a tone you won’t admit has a hint of a whine.

“Will be there tomorrow,” he interrupts, taking your hand and gently tugging you out of your chair against your weak protests. “And you’ll be able to write and edit it even better once you’ve slept.” You fall into the bed with a fwump, a deep sigh, and a muttered stream of thought falling out your lips like the air out of a balloon. The earth elemental can pick out odd, familiar words in the ramble like “heart”, “stars”, and “Vega” and chuckles as the stream peters off into slow breaths and soft snores. Huxley queues up a familiar YouTube video on the tv, a ten hour loop of light rain showers, and places a blanket over your sprawled, sleeping body.

“Good night, Sunflower,” he says softly, pressing a light kiss on the top of your head before climbing into bed beside you, turning off the light with a fond, content smile.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 21- Lorelai's Graduation Day, Aka The Best Episode That Ever Episoded, My Heart Will Soon Be Exploded. Part 1

This is my all time favorite episode of Gilmore Girls. It is so dear and special to me. Why? It includes (but is not limited to) the following qualities: 1.Jess and Rory go on their only psuedo-date!!!!! EVER! 2.Lorelai is safely contained in another location..another STATE...for the entire psuedo-date! 3.Although this is unfortunately not a Certified Dean Free Episode, his presence is limited to only 1 minute of nonsense! 4.Frankly, there is no interference from ANYBODY. Just Jess and Rory being so fucking cute and alone together! 5.Milo eats a hot dog! 6.Rory follows her dear little heart, skips school, goes to New York City and in the process screws over Lorelai by missing her graduation which is what she deserves. Lorelai deserves all the bad things. Huzzah! 7. Season 3 is just over the horizon. I skipped the two previous episodes, but you can read everything else here. Let's GOOOOO. Since I skipped right past the dumpster fires that were Teach Me Tonight and whatever the godforsaken episode is that came after it, I missed a few things and can only rely on my memory and context clues. It appears that Lorelai has staged another boycott against Luke's Diner, since Lorelai Gilmore is Certified CrazyPantsMcGee and she and Luke are on the outs because his nephew got into a minor car accident. It makes sense in her mind, don't try to understand it, you might break your own brain. The episode opens with Lorelai's search for a new breakfast spot. Instead of saving a few bucks and just pouring her and Rory a bowl of cereal at home for once.

Whenever the Gilmores mention or visit other locales outside of The Hollow, it's kinda weird, because I think of Stars Hollow as a bubble cut off from the rest of normal society. Like when they go to the mall and stuff? What are you doing outside The Bubble, Citizens? The atmosphere is unsafe. But, the episodes that take place outside The Bubble, like this one, are some of the best ones. Other certified Outside The Bubble greats: The Bangles concert, the drag show, Lorelai and Emily's spa day.

I guess I missed the birth of Lane the Drummer as well.

Sure Lorelai, exploit your friend for free labor instead of sticking a fucking Pop Tart in a toaster.

The food on this show always looks amazing. Props to the Gilmore Girls food display person.

Someone on this show has a conscience. Good for her. That being said, I'm glad she throws her moral compass in the trash when she decides to skip school. Lorelai and Dean can drown in a pit of rattlesnakes.

Jackson and Sookie are sex freaks 100%. Good for them. Why couldn't they give Jared Padalecki a paycheck to sleep in every episode too? Another thing I missed in episodes 19 and 20: Lorelai going back to school.

Really, I thought her head was emptier than The Independence Inn on a Tuesday afternoon. That her one brain cell would have plenty of room to chill out, take a little swim, see the sights.

The "knowledge" stuffed in Lorelai's brain: Dean Forrester's penis size, whether or not Dean Forrester likes those little marshmallows in his cocoa, how to say "Michel, cover my shift, I'm leaving work in the middle of the day", assorted deep seated childhood traumas. Lorelai made a comment about how her finals are the last time she has to cram anything in and I thought of a joke so dirty I decided not to post it. Filtering any thought is not the SaltyGilmores way, so you should be glad I spared you.

What? You’ve finally developed an ounce of self awareness? Did you realize you're a raging bitch who leaves misery and destruction in her wake wherever she goes? Stop lobbing me so many softballs, damn. (The real answer: She hates school and learning is stupid). L: This learning thing is self inflicted! I'm a masochist! I may as well be carrying a switch and peridocally lacerating myself with it! But enough about what you and Dean Forrester do when Rory's not home.

In a future episode, after Rory has risked her future by solely applying to Ivy League schools with less than 10% acceptance rates and is unsurpisingly, experiencing doubt about whether or not she'll get in to any of them, Lorelai remarks that Rory is going to Harvard and that's that; she will not allow her daughter to end up at a Community College or, god forbid, beauty school. In Lorelai's world there are no colleges that exist for her child in between Harvard and Stars Hollow Makeup Academy. My headcanon is that Shane (if Jess hadn't fed her to the swans after the Dance Marathon. RIP ) goes to beauty school and makes a fine living. Rory carries too much pressure on her shoulders and her life and career flame out. It's a tale as old as time. To her credit, in this scene Lorelai isn't really slandering her school, but talking about how the school is so small that her ceremony will be unremarkabl. But there wil be one, so she has decided to participate. She did not walk in her high school graduation ceremony because she had a 1 year old at the time, such is the consequence of boinking Crusty Hayden on your parents' balcony in the middle of winter. R: You should do it! You've worked hard! You earned it! Yes, she's worked so hard at this for such a long time that she decided on, enrolled in, and graduated from an entire college business program over the course of two episodes. R: You should invite Gramma and Grampa. L: Forget it. They won't want to be there. I was supposed to graduate high school, go to Vassar*, marry a Yale man, and get myself a proper nickname like Babe or Bunny or Shih Tzu. Instead, I got pregnant, didn't finish school, I didn't marry your father, I ended up in a career that even Jessica Hahn** would think is beneath her. I humiliated them, the two proudest people in the world, I humliated them. I spoiled their plans. I took their fine upbringing in a world of comfort and opportunity and I threw it in their faces. I broke their hearts and they'll never forgive me. I don't want them there. It'll hurt them, and hurt me. (please see footnotes at end of post for additonal commentary on this speech) Lorelai's 16 year old daughter, who 15 seconds earlier was looking forward to her mother's graduation, but is now being trauma dumped on by her mother, and is not unaware that this is about her:

Her name is "Dean Forrester's future stepdaughter." Look at me ragging on Dean and he's not even here! Ha! HA!

Ha? :( Dean is attempting to use his feeble brain to mansplain a concept to the women. What is it?

Given his history of stalking, harrasment and verbal abuse, the thought of Dean honing his skills with a weapon should be incredibly frightening, but the girls want to hear more from this armed predator. Lorelai is very interested in how Dean Forrester yields his weapon. Dean’s Hobby Of the Episode is, *spins wheel* Skeet shooting, also known as clay pigeon shooting. (he helpfully mansplains to Rory that he is not shooting actual pigeons, that's just what the clay disks are called), and then the ladies ask several more dumb questions like "what if you actually hit a real bird?" in what is perhaps some kind of attempt by AmyShermanPalladino to show that Dean Smart Women Dumb. But I'm a grizzled veteran of your show, AmyShermanPalladino. You're not getting the "Dean is intelligent" ruse over on me this far into the second season. Nice try. R: Why are you into this? D: My dad did this when he was my age and he wanted to pass the tradition down. Your dad wishes your mom had swallowed.

I keep getting distracted by how Rory's sleeves are always tucked into her cast instead of over the cast, sorry. I've never had a cast and it just looks strange. Why am I thinking about this? Why am I like this? I like Lorelai's hoodie. There, I said something nice about her. Happy? L:If you get real good at shooting clay pigeons, do you move onto other animals like chicken and sheep? Well, future serial killers like Dean do usually start out by hurting animals. And that is the end of Dean for the entire episode. A meager one minute of Dean per episode is a dream come true. * At the first mention of Vassar, my brain immediately jumped to Bedford Diaries (aka Slutty Jess at College), where Milo's character (Richard Thorn, I mean, Slutty Jess) sleeps with his professor's estranged wife and she compliments his sexual prowess by saying "You'll make some Vassar girl very happy one day." Best not to do what I did, which is to cross pollinate the two shows and timelines in my mind (more or less against my will) and imagine some pretty horrible implications.

** I did some light Googling on Jessica Hahn, and I am NOT unpacking this reference.

[capitalisticveins]

Baaabe HCs yaaayyyy

- Clean freak x100

- Has the BEST wardrobe in the entire cast, listeners included. They don’t have as many shoes as Milo by a longshot, but the shoes they do have are IMMACULATE.

- Only reason Sweetheart said they could outdress David and Angel at their wedding is because it would be impossible to outdress Baaabe.

- Their favorite character is Edna from The Incredibles

- Both them and Angel grew up from humble beginnings, only difference is when they got with someone who had enough money to retire early *cough cough Asher cough cough* they IMMEDIATELY took advantage of the situation

- And no I don’t mean they were only with Asher for his money, I mean whenever they saw something they wanted the puppy-dog eyes and baby voice were activated instantly.

- They’re street smart. But academically? …it’s a miracle they got an office job.

- They take like 40 minutes to get ready in the morning

- Hates, hates, HATES chocolate ice cream.

- Chocolate ice cream specifically, too. They’ll eat chocolate bars, chocolate cupcakes, chocolate milk, chocolate covered strawberries, whatever. But chocolate ice cream? NO.

- Also hates mint ice cream, and mint in general, including mint gum and peppermint candycanes

- Them and Asher follow the Olive Theory. He hates olives, they don’t, so he gives all of the olives that are ever in his food to them.

- Except they don’t actually like olives, or believe in the olive theory, but they think it’s cute that Asher does so they eat the olives he gives them to make him happy.

- Best thighs in the game sorry not sorry

- Never was into sports but they’ll go on a run from time to time

- Was one of those students who never participated in PE but still passed

- Owns at least one pair of heart-shaped sunglasses

- Whenever the pack goes to a beach or pool, they play chicken against each other. (In case you don’t know the game, pairs of people stack on each other and try to push the other players off their partner’s shoulders). Asher and Baaabe are the only couple where the mate is carrying the shifter.

- Baaabe and Madelyn LOVE to trade embarrassing stories about Asher.

- They own a fur coat.

- They owned a pet ONCE in their life. It was a stray cat they found on their way back from elementary school.

- They managed to keep it hidden from their parents for 3 months before it found out how to open their room door. The parents gave it away instantly.

- They prefer cookie dough ice cream, or normal vanilla.

- Used to like rollercoasters, then heard of the Surge, and never went on one again.

- When Sam was added to the Mates GC, they were the only normal one who actually introduced him. Sweetheart and Angel were busy trying to do an “initiation ritual” by spamming the witch emoji.

- Baaabe was usually known as the only normal mate, until Tank and Sam started dating officially.

- BEEFY.

- Can suplex Asher and David.

- They don’t actually know if they can David, they just say they can.

- But they have suplexed Asher before.

- Has called David “Davey” on purpose once.

- David knows them as the “normal one”, and thought he was just hearing things, so he asked them to repeat themselves. They were going to call him Davey again, until they saw Arden, Angel, and Asher all signaling behind him to stop. They called him David.

- Pink and red otter pops are their favorite.

- Has a total of 5 siblings. All younger by more than 3 years. 2 girls and 3 boys.

- When meeting Asher’s parents for the first time, Frank taught them how to fish, and Asher’s mom asked them to read a preview of a book she was working on. It was the most heartwarming experience they’ve ever had.

- Asher’s never met their parents.

- Only on good terms with 2 of their siblings.

- When running, they run slow, but they can run for a long time.

- Only sport they personally say they’re not shit at is Tennis.

- They saved up for months to buy the ring they wanted for Asher, and he’s a light sleeper so it was a PAIN getting his ring size, but it was worth it.

- They would’ve proposed in the indoor date night audio if they knew they were going to have an indoor date night in the first place.

- Can hold secrets like their LIFE depends on it. Want to tell someone a secret but don’t want them to tell anyone else? Baaabe is your best friend.

- Will work overtime (I’m talking double shifts) without telling Asher on accident. Earlier in the relationship, they’d come home to 5 cop cars outside their house, and Asher (in his mom’s old robe, a green facemask, and plastic curlers in his hair) crying to a police officer about his “missing mate.” He never got charged with misusing 911 since technically their whereabouts were unknown for an unusual period of time, but they’ve learned to let him know that they’ll be home late so he stops blowing shit out of proportion.

- Will be overdressed for the SIMPLEST shit. Going across the street? Not in pajamas they’re not. 

- Uses the sandwich method to eat cupcakes.

- Actively and routinely goes to the gym with Asher

- Works at Vesta Distribution Co.

- Tips Guy over 15 bucks each time he delivers their food to compensate for Asher’s…existence.

- Eats Oreos the correct way. (without taking off the cookie bit and licking off the creme)

- Can effortlessly blow bubblegum

- Can’t swim, so if they’re at a beach or a pool, they either stay on land, or just walk in the water and stay standing.

Taglist: @ajfromabove

[harlowehearse]

Candle Cove Head cannons

I have severe brain rot (also some of these might be from the archive account so apologies if you've seen them before). No rhyme or reason to this it's just a bunch of things that came to mind.

-It's a running gag that no one really knows what exactly Horace is? Whether he's really human or not? Even he doesn't seem to know and makes several conflicting statements about it.

-It's also a gag Horace just has no idea how old Janice is. He assumes she's like 3 or 4 or something and doesn't think she can read or anything.

-All of the puppets are made with 4 fingers aside from the abyssian ones who have all 5.

-Abyssians aren't born, they come from and are made from the sand at the bottom of the sea. They don't live forever, just much longer than a human. If they die of age they turn back into sand.

-Janice and Skin-taker sharing a birthday is partially true. Skin-taker does genuinely consider the date his birthday as well because it was the day Poppy killed him and he became what he is now, birthdays and date of deaths are practically the same thing to him.

-Janice and Skin-taker share quite a few other similarities like being the only left handed characters in the show, curiosity being a key character trait, their favorite color both being purple, and just a lot more sprinkled through out the show.

-Janice can be very blunt, is a terrible liar, and her curiosity can easily get the best of her so she'll just blurt out questions as soon as they come.

-Eye contact makes Janice quite uncomfortable (yet another reason why Skin-taker unnerves her so much cuz the guy just stares daggers into your soul).

-After getting really pissed at Horace Janice once threw a rock at and accidentally killed him. Skin-taker brought him back and he was honestly unphased but Janice is still a little messed up and feels guilt over it.

-Janice can get very frustrated or angry, mostly in cases of other characters being mean towards her or her friends (9/10 it's Horace she's mad at).

-Calvary is deaf in his left ear and the whole crew knows sign language. Nathan helped to teach Janice and in return she helped teach him some math stuff she learned from school.

-If she doesn't want to go somewhere, Ms. Laughingstock will just stop dead in her tracks. While not often she and Poppy do butt heads sometimes.

-Revolvers weren't used as weapons in the show until Milo was introduced in season 2.

-Milo was the one to teach Janice how to wield a cutlass ("begrudgingly," he will tell you). Up until that point she just used a slingshot she had from home and a throwing knife Percy taught her how to use.

-Skin-taker's lair resembles a relatively normal living space set up in the cave, and would actually be quite cozy had it not be all made from human remains.

-Skin-taker doesn't hate Poppy because he killed him, he's actually a bit grateful for that because he enjoys being dead, he hates him because Poppy 1) wasted the skin by just throwing it to sharks and 2) Skin-taker sees him as a hypocrite as he has committed crimes just as heinous as Skin-taker, but now goes around with the title "The Honorable Pirate" while sweeping his past under the rug. Plus the guy just gets on his nerves.

-Despite how aloof and cold he seems to regard him Horace is probably the only one (living) Skin-taker would consider a friend.

-Getting new skin isn't the only reason Skin-taker does things, he'll also just do things because he's curious as to the result or he thinks it'd be funny.

-Skin-taker actually really likes wordplay and funny sounding words. Sometimes he'll just say little rhymes and random words out loud to amuse himself. Of course he's also very cryptic sometimes to be purposefully ominous too.

-Though she never appears in person on the show or is mentioned by name, whenever the Red Mary is eluded to or something makes reference to her the music of the show stops, and if you listen closely, you can hear the crackling of a fire in the mix of the background TV static.

-Even though he can't physically smoke Skin-taker has a collection of wooden pipes.

-Sunny has a little cactus collection on the ship that Hans helped her get. Little reminder of home.

-The rubberfishes crew aren't really fond of Skin-taker (they're just as creeped out by him as The Laughingstock crew) but they're all very loyal to and kind of care about Horace so they stick it out for their captain.

-Lillian had light magic and like Horace was a sorcerer of sorts, Talapio was her familiar.

-The Tarantula crews sails were sewn using string Talapio gave them, and because of that you could see them faintly shimmering at night. Some referred to them as "the crew with stars in their sails" because of this.

-You could point at any color, any hue tone shade what have you, and Skin-taker could immediately tell you it's specific name. It's one of the few things about him that are the same from when he was Thade Soben.

-Lillian was genuinely a very goofy, emotional, and fun loving person but being a captain she tried keeping a very calm confident demeanor all the time which then lead her to also being secretly stressed out 24/7. Seeing Thades joy and curiosity for almost everything in Candle Cove helped bring out her sillier side again though.

-No one other than Poppy knows Percy's past on the Tarantula crew as the infamous Prowler Percy and whenever someone goes "Man that prowler percy was so cool I wonder what happened to him" Percy is just "Yeahh haha crazy- let's change the subject" just because he remembering those times hurts too much now and also the NPHC would pay soooooo much money to see Prowler dead.

-One time Poppy gambled Percy in a bet and lost and the crew then spent the whole episode getting into shenanigans trying to get him back.

-There was one episode where Janice and Horace got separated from their crew on a dangerous island and had to very begrudgingly work together to try and get back to them with Janice managing to snag his monocle and holding it hostage so he didn't try any funny business. Even though he did end up betraying her in the end by leaving her on the island (the Laughingstock crew did get her back still) during the episode they actually worked pretty well together and at one point found some common ground, and ever since Horace just seemed a little less hostile towards her, insulted her less, and even seemed to try and lightly deter Skin-taker from her once or twice.

-Susan Siren is actually a menace and does crash ships and kill sailors with her singing she's just loyal to Janice and The Laughingstock crew because Janice freed her from lullaby rock. Girls killed and will do so again.

-Green Gregory is the only other one is Candle Cove aside from Janice who isn't a puppet (in my version I like to think Susan and Nathan are also puppets). It's suggested but never confirmed whether or not he too was once a child who came to Candle Cove long ago.

-Green Gregory knew Skin-taker when he was Thade back when he was a pirate himself, and every once in a while after the taverns closed Skin-taker shows up to catch up with his old acquaintance. Even though he's clear in his distain for the skeleton's doing Gregory is never unwelcoming to him (listen even if they have no canon interactions you can't give me two characters presumably played by the same actor and expect me to NOT come up with a connection between them).

-Percy's paranoia and Calvary's superstition go hand in hand in literally the most chaotic and worst way. Sea dog is so tired of their shit.

-Milo is the only person to have ever tested Dr. Heartfelt's patience.

-The puppets can bleed. It's not a practical effect.

[sodilemonlime]

Hey all of my fellow Perfect Love enjoyers, I have come with the timelines of Amy with the Milos!!!

First up: PreAmy & PreMilo! (And yes, I am reusing the Ship Templates because I updated two of them! :3)

When Amy met Milo, it was during the unfortunate circumstances of him being bullied by an ex of hers. She threatened and scared Ryan off before helping Milo up off the ground, leading them to talk for a little. When Milo asked Amy if she could teach him how to defend himself: she laughed a bit, but happily said yes to trying to help him. Since that faithful day, they became close friends and hung-out after school in each other’s dorms: getting to know one another and their feelings blooming into beautiful flowers. Milo loved spending time with Amy and vice-versa: Amy loved watching Milo get creative and always asked questions so she could listen to him ramble about his interests, Milo loved listening as Amy sang or hummed her favorite songs and talk her head off about certain topics or her interests; they both just loved learning about the other and completed each other. Then, Amy eventually confessed and asked Milo to be her boyfriend. Milo was surprised by the sudden confession, but happily accepted and they became a couple. Since they became a couple, Milo’s obsession with Amy grew: he loved every inch of her and he couldn’t stand being away from her for too long. Amy was his life source, his reason for living and she meant everything to him.

Next up: VAmy & VMilo!

After a few more altercations with Ryan, Amy suggests that Milo and her should practice self-defense at the batting range: so Milo can be able to defend himself if she’s ever not around him. He tried and failed to the first few times since he felt very conflicted with the idea of being violent, but when an incident with Ryan that left his sweetheart hurt occurred: something snapped inside of him and he started going to the batting range basically everyday with Amy. Milo became very overprotective of Amy and was always beside her no matter what in fear of her getting hurt again, anyone who even looked at her wrong would probably end up getting beat up if she didn’t calm him down. Milo was very weary of anyone Amy talked to, even her own family since they were notorious for saying backhanded-things to her: but Amy always managed to calm his racing thoughts and let him know that they were okay and safe before he could do anything. Amy was his safe haven, the one good thing he had in his life and he wasn’t going to let anyone even so much as lay a finger on her.

Last, but certainly not least: MAmy & MMilo!

Amy had brought Milo to a a party with a few people that she considered her friends: she always spoke highly of them, so Milo was nervous but went to make Amy happy. They had a pretty good time all together, although Milo was shy and barely spoke: he enjoyed watching Amy sparkle and shine as she blabbered with him and her friends. He felt content in his interactions with her friends..until Desmond came up to him one day and told him that he should stay away from Amy. He was shocked: why was one of Amy’s close friends telling him to stay away from his sweetheart? He questioned Desmond about what he was talking about, Desmond told Milo untruthful things about Amy’s past and he never felt more disgusted in a person until this moment: how could someone who Amy spoke so highly of spread such obscenities about her like this? Something snapped in him and he silently promised Amy that he’d never let anyone speak that way about her ever again. He slowly started gaining the trust of others and gathering information about anyone he could get his hands on, if anyone dared to speak negatively to or about Amy: you’d best believe he’d make their lives a living hell. Amy was his savior, the only person he could trust in this crude world and he wasn’t going to let anyone dull her blinding light.

That’s all I have for today, but I am working on Amy’s backstory and a few art pieces with the Milos and Amys: so I hope that you guys will stick around to see those! I hope that y’all have a good day/afternoon/evening/night and I’ll see y’all in my next posts! 👋😄ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘᠃

[leathr-blr]

Headcanon dump when

you’ve made a grave mistake. media analysis is one of my special interests and i’m also a lifelong writer so this will definitely start to get incomprehensibly ranty (warning i literally gave like an essay length explanation of how i would rewrite heinz’ story in mml s2 and this whole thing devolves away from the question very quickly)

1. my funniest one and most out of pocket one i like to bring up is that i think doofenshmirtz is such a whore imo. an absolute harlot. i think he gets around. not like people are attracted to him or find him charming (he is NOT) but he will have been with everyone in the room, like, at least once. particularly the love muffin scientists, especially rodney, and he and monogram DEFINITELY were together at some point

2. on the monogram thing, i figured monogram “experimented” at one point before doof was an owca threat and dated heinz for a short period of time and that’s why they call eachother by their first names and are so familiar with eachother (heinz probably turned him from bi-curious to homophobic very quickly). i just think the idea is hilarious

3. obviously, heinz is transgender and so is perry, that’s a given. and as mentioned one of my previous posts, 2d doof is a karen archetype and your conservative aunt at thanksgiving dinner (you decide if he’s actually cishet or if he’s like blaire white)

4. less of a headcanon and more of an “i wish this happened”, i think monty and vanessa should have stayed together and i don’t like ferbnessa much but that’s also a pretty popular take. i like the perryshmirtz parallels what can i say. also this pairs very funnily with my first and second headcanons

5. buford and bajeet are qpps (they don’t know what that is but they are). ginger is supportive

6. another obvious one, i think pretty much everyone is neurodivergent because of course they are. to get specific on the ones i feel strongest about, heinz has audhd, perry is low-empathy autistic, the rest of the flynn-fletcher family besides linda are autistic, milo is autistic, cavendish is autistic, and dakota has adhd. thank you for listening to my ted talk. i’m actually.. 👉👈 writing my first ever fic, focused around how heinz and perry communicate with their contrasting neurodivergence that will be up on this account once i finally post it to ao3, and that goes a lot more in depth

7. this is actually something i feel differs a bit from most headcanons i see. my take is that norm initially (throughout most of pnf) does not see perry as a father figure at all and only tries to get that from doof, and is also jealous that perry gets all his attention, so kind of actively dislikes him. he also hasn’t made the connection that anyone other than heinz could fulfill that role for him, because in his robot brain, he will take father in the most literal definition, like they have to be directly responsible for creating you. and not something more complex and nuanced like it actually is because he’s a robot and he’s not gonna get that right away. but i feel like over time, he’d begin to realize those nuances, and start to accept perry as family, and get much more out of him as a father figure than heinz. especially since (unless it’s a human au) they would have similarly complicated relationships with not being human but also being fully sentient.

that was a long one and i still don’t feel like i covered all of it but maybe i’ll do a fic about that one too one day 💔

8. i don’t know, as i am writing this sentence, how explosive i will get with my details on this one, but my favorite proposed future for heinz is both a mix between doof 101 and act your age. so an open secret between my friends and i is that although i love both seasons of milo murphy’s law, i really. really. dislike the whole professor time thing. don’t get me wrong, i would keep the whole reveal and not change anything about the season 1 finale.

but, if i, alister r. zamir, were personally hired by dan povenmire and swampy marsh to write the continuation of said finale, i would make everyone including the audience think he’s professor time but have that be a RED HERRING and not ACTUALLY have him be professor time because i think that’s REALLY BAD!! (maybe make it sara or cavendish or even phineas and ferb since they already did that)

the reason why i, the new writer of milo murphy’s law season 2, think this sucks, is because heinz has spent his whole life trying to live up to the expectations of others, and in the shadow of others and is always striving for unreachable goals to substantiate his self worth. it’s like his whole character, it’s his whole thing, this is his canon ass story, so to just throoooww in that whole professor time thing VALIDATES this behavior and encourages him to keep holding himself at an unnecessarily high standard, PLUS the fate of the world is kind of in his hands now, so that’s FINE. AND IM FINE ABOUT IT AND IM NOT MAD. YOU ARE.

so coming back to doof 101 and act your age, particularly act your age (which i also don’t like as an episode but that’s another story), as somebody who suffers from The Serious Illnesses of the Mental Variety, heinz being able to move on, adjust his expectations, and not be doing great or amazing or rule the tristate whatever and just be fine with doing alright, is super meaningful and relatable to me

so i think they should have just stuck with that. i like the phineas and ferb characters included in mml and like i said id keep a lot of it, but i’d save all the heinz arc stuff for phineas and ferb exclusively cause i love the perry funding professor time thing and that whole deal is cute but also i hate it. because it’s so rushed. and everything with his development feels so out of place. and wrong. and it makes me throw a tantrum.

not to mention, but i WILL, how heinz is completely justified about being upset and falling into depression because of this whole ordeal, and they sorttt of treat it like he’s justified? but they also make him unbearably annoying and we as an audience are justifiably unsympathetic to that and it seems like you want me to feel bad for him sometimes but also hate his guts, which could have been an interesting conundrum ig, but even though i love milo murphy’s law, it’s character writing is farrr from strong enough to get any kind of interesting story or arc out of that

so like, in conclusion, dwampy, hire me, i will work for pennies

alright that’s not all of them but i’ve been writing for 20 minutes and my fingers hurt thank you very much for asking me i needed to get these out of my system

[aggro-my-beloved]

📙 (L, Y, Z) -> Milo, David, James

(if you dont want to do three, then you can do just Milo)

🌷

Thank you so much, Rach! I live your content, honestly. Congratulations on 50 followers!

thank you for the ask, star! <3 hope you’re having a good night and don’t hate me but I haven’t listened to a james audio (yet!) but i will happily write for our precious davey and milo :)

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

L → Milo strives to go above and beyond for children that aren’t even his own. Partly because he feels the need to prove to himself that he is not his father, and to prove to sweetheart that he can be humble and mannered toward more than just his cat. He’s always volunteering to babysit for his unempowered friends, or gets incredibly giddy when they get invited to a baby shower…

“Another already?” Sweetheart reads over the recent invitation to yet another couple’s announcement that they’re expecting.

“Can you believe it? It’s like dominos…” Milo giggles as he winds his arms around their waist.

“Wonder where we fall in line.” His mate murmurs quietly, interlocking the fingers settled on their hip. They turn to stare fiercely at one another, daring for the other to give the go-ahead.

“You know I’d never say no to a little practice, sweetheart.” The way his tongue curls as he speaks their name has them riled up in seconds. No other words needed to be said, after all, their actions that night spoke much louder.

David’s grumpy attitude is rated e for everyone, and children are no exception. Hard as he may try to make it clear, though, young ones gravitate towards him like a magnet. Just last week at their favorite sit-down restaurant, one little boy in particular kept peeking over the booth David was sat in and asking him the most ridiculous questions, followed by more absurd comments. For a majority of the night, the alpha kept his cool until Angel brought their new friend up on the drive home.

“He seemed to be really interested about you.” David only lets out a breathy chuckle.

“Kids never seem to learn when to sit still and stop talking. Kinda reminds me of someone else I know.” They lock eyes, and Angel is transported back to their first date, where she admittedly did agitate him with their boundless queries.

“You happen to be fond of this someone you know.” They point out with a smirk.

“I know that, you menace. Who said I wasn’t fond of the former?” This is all the prompting Angel needs to pester their husband the rest of the way home. From names, to nursery themes, it’s all they’re going to be talking about with their mate for the rest of the week. Or until David can finally get a clue.

Y → David doesn’t find a condescending attitude attractive AT ALL. It’s different if someone wants to take the lead, he realizes there’s certain circumstances where he needs to take a step back but having mutual respect in a relationship is everything to him. And if his partner has problems with his pack mates or his friends, he is always quick to cut them off, he’s too loyal for unnecessary drama.

Milo isn’t a fan of tardiness or non-communicative people. The man has abandonment issues, what do you expect? Anytime Sweetheart tells them they’ll be home by 9:00 and 9:02 strikes, he’s having heart palpitations and wondering the worst. Poorly dressed people also get on his nerves, because he doesn’t just look at it as having poor fashion sense but that the person isn’t trying to look good. Not even for themselves.

Z → David snores like a mf TRUCK, so loud angel has to wear earplugs or turn on a noise machine. He always denies it when it’s brought up or he finds Angel asleep on the couch some nights when it’s REALLY bad but deep down he knows it’s true. He probably has a deviated septum but refuses to go to the doctor to let them look and see what options there are. And god help Angel if they manage to drag them there, he’ll probably be debating with the doctor, too.

Milo talks in his sleep. Nothing coherent though, just tiny mumbles here and there or a choked breath that always scares Sweetheart to the point where they cloak themselves out of instinct. Some nights where he dreams vividly, the two can hold a somewhat understandable conversation for a few minutes. He won’t remember it the following morning, but Sweetheart will be hanging on to every word as blackmail for the future. How do you think they get him to play all those horror games?

Join the sleepover!

[noddytheornithopod]

I’ve got a goofy one for you:

Doofenshmirtz

1, 2, 3, 12, 16, 23

From here.

1. Why do you like or dislike this character? funey cartoon science man

But I mean in general he's just pretty easy to make funny and even relatable and emotional. The dynamic with Perry is impeccable, and by impeccable I mean completely peccable. Also surprisingly good singing? You can tell Dan Povenmire is having a blast playing him too. Honestly, not sure what else needs to be said.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character? His relationship with Perry for sure. Having a nemesis that is also the most important person in your life and actually a sincere bond with is epic.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character? Anything in Milo Murphy's Law. If you know, you know.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character? Nothing comes to mind really, which is a shame cuz I'd love to have a funny shitpost idea.

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character? I find it hard to get worked up over shipping like other fandom people so I don't have an answer.

23. Favorite picture of this character? do i need to say more