#minus the girly parts of me maybe

[lunaryuwu]

Ughhhh period cramps hughhhhh period cramps

[dilf-rot]

Roadkill

Old! Logan gets hit by a car right outside your apartment, and since his healing isn’t as fast as it use to be he begrudgingly agrees to let you take care of him for the time being 

Word Count: 3009 

Tags: Old!Logan x Reader, Logan Howlett x Reader, Wolverine x Reader, Fem!Reader, age gap (obviously), kinda pervy logan, blood, description of injuries / mild gore, Car accident, wound dressing, alcohol consumption, bed sharing, P in V, Fingering, Some dirty talk, creampie 

AN: Okay so I did a poll about what you guys would want next, and a "Funny Old Logan" fic won... so like the concept is the funny part (at least to me), But I tried to make it rather light hearted because I hope it wasn’t a misleading poll choice. Maybe the length of it will make you forgive me for my poor sense of humor 

MDNI 18+

—--------------------------------------

It was rather late at night, your street barely illuminated by the poorly maintained street lamps. You sat by your window, watching the empty street. The autumn air wispy through the trees, dead leaves skittering across the concrete. You liked looking outside at this time of night, reminding yourself of how quiet and peaceful things can be. 

An older man was walking along the edge of the sidewalk, his head hung down, his gait slow and particular. You were surprised to see someone out walking at this time, but thought it not too unusual. As he began to walk along the curve of the road, as if materializing from thin air, a black vehicle sped around the curve, colliding with the man and sending him falling over into the pavement, the screech of tires, the sound of impact. You could hardly think as you rushed down the stairs and out the door. 

The vehicle had disappeared much like it had appeared, and the man lay unmoving on the cold concrete. There was a small puddle of blood forming beneath him. 

“Are you alright? I’ll call 911.” You shouted as you approached him, holding out your hand.

“Don’t,” He groaned, pushing himself over so that he was laid on his back. The blood was seeping through his shirt around his abdomen, but it seemed not to bother him. “I’ll just be on my way.” 

He breathed heavily, trying to stand from the ground. Cursing to himself. He couldn’t seem to sit up.

“Here, let me help you.” You leaned down and helped him to his feet. He winced in pain as he tried to stand up straight. Looking at you in a peculiar way, as if he had never expected kindness from a stranger. You were young, and bright, and despite the suddenness and seeming severity of his situation, came rushing in to help. Great contrast to his old, dark, and brooding disposition. “Are you sure you don’t want 911? If your worried about ambulance costs I could always drive you to the hospital.”

He tried to laugh, but ended up coughing and a splatter of blood spewed from his mouth. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Just need some rest.”

“Why don’t you come inside, I’ll help you,” You gestured towards your building, the window of your apartment the only one light up in the night.

“Really, it’s no big deal-” He started, only for a little more blood to dribble from his mouth, he wiped it away with his hand and before he could protest any further, you slowly led him up to your apartment. Careful not to take the stairs too fast, or pull too hard on his arms. 

Despite his current state, he was rather well built. You could feel the lines and curves of muscle under his jacket as his arm rested across your shoulders. His face wasn’t all that bad either, minus the blood staining his graying beard, he was rather handsome and you suddenly felt rather embarrassed by your choice of bringing him into your home. 

You brought him inside, and helped him sit down in the living room. Tossing the decorative pillow off of the chair so that he may lean back comfortably. He looked around your apartment, it was nicely decorated, a little girly, but not too extreme, and there were some pumpkin and mushroom themed items here and there for the fall season. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Listening to you frantically search your cabinets for first aid materials. 

When the searching had stopped you managed to find a first aid kit, a washcloth, and some pain meds. 

“Can we take off your shirt and jacket so I can see the damage?” You once again held out your hands to him. He grumbled and nodded, helping you remove them. The fabric luckily wasn't sticking to the wounds, despite being drenched in blood. “I’ll wash them for you.” 

He watched your face as you took in the sight of him. He was much more in shape than you would expect for an older man, not that you could guess how old he was, but he seemed to be the active kind based on his physique. You shakily reached out with the washcloth, gently dapping away the drying blood, trying to get a better look at the wounds. They didn’t seem too deep, but the lacerations and road burn were rather gruesome. You decided it would be best to apply some antibacterial and wrap them in gauze. You were worried that you wouldn’t have enough, but as you wrapped the last bit around him, you were relieved to find it had been the perfect amount. He didn’t have the energy to argue with you, nor to explain that by the morning, or at least the late afternoon tomorrow, he would be mostly healed up and able to leave. 

“Could I see your hands?” You took them in yours, looking at his palms, happy to find them not all that scrapped up. He huffed when you put them back down. “Can I get you something to drink?”

He perked up a bit, “You got any whiskey?”

You pull up a step stool and search through your liquor cabinet, you had a modest amount of choices for when friends came over. But your whiskey selection was rather poor. He watches you as you try to balance while you move bottles out of the way.

“I only have Screwball and Jack Daniel’s” you call out over your shoulder.

He groans and rolls his eyes, he should have expected that from a young girl like you. “Daniel’s.” 

You get the bottle down from the cabinet and grab him a glass. As you go to pour it he stops your hand, “Just give me the bottle sweetheart.” 

You oblige, and sit on the couch across from him. Watching as he takes a swig from the bottle, swishing it around in his mouth before swallowing. You are almost entranced watching him, something about him draws you in. Admittedly it was strange for you to be ogling a complete stranger, whom you had just witnessed get fully hit by a car, but you couldn’t help yourself. You shift on the couch, trying to find a comfortable position.

“What’s your name?”

He sighs, placing the bottle down, “Logan.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the Doctor, Logan?”

“I’ll be alright.”

“No offense, but you just got knocked on your ass by a speeding car.”

“Been through worse.” He says, and you believe him. “I’ll be good to go tomorrow, don’t worry your pretty little head about me.”

You nod, and resign to not ask him any further. Instead just watching as he drinks, and wondering what someone like him was doing in the neighborhood anyway.

-sit watching him, as he starts to get sleepy, you offer to bring him to your bed to sleep

“You invite a lot of strange men into your bed?”

“No.”

“I’m the first?”

You don’t answer, helping him lay down and get comfortable. Taking his shoes off for him and asking if he needs anything else.

“I’m alright.”

“Ok, I’ll be on the couch if you need anything.” As you walk away, he can sense how you sigh. Knowing you probably can’t sleep on that couch, he gets a little smirk on his face.

“Why don’t you stay with me, Princess?” He can hear your breath catch in your throat and your little kind heart starts to race. “Make sure I stay breathing, ya know?”

You nod, feeling silly for how quickly you want this attention from him. But you can’t help yourself and you crawl into bed with him. Trying not to bump him as you get under the blankets. You face away from him and close your eyes, trying to fall asleep as fast as possible, the adrenaline of the whole situation quickly fading. He shifts in the bed, you can feel his warmth radiating from him. He places his hand on your waist and pulls you closer to him. His mouth against the back of your head, your back pressed against his chest. He whispers something to you, but you can barely hear it over the sound of your heart hammering away. 

You aren’t sure how but you were able to fall asleep like that, Logan holding you against him, and you hiding your face in your pillow hoping you could get through this without any more strange feelings bubbling up in your stomach. 

When you woke up, Logan’s mouth was pressed to your neck, softly mumbling against you. The scruff of his beard scratching against your skin. When you shifted he pulled away, but his arm remained around your waist. You patted him and tried to squirm out of bed.

“Mmm...” he groaned. “Morning.” 

He stayed in bed as you went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He watched you, your pj shorts riding up, and the tank you wore hugging tightly to you. You felt a little sweaty, probably due to having something so warm in your bed for once. You lean in the doorway to the bedroom watching as he slowly sits up.

“How are you feeling?”

“Could use a shower,” He groans as he stands from the bed, stretching and feeling all the aches slowly coming back.

You lead him to the bathroom, bringing him a towel and washcloth. You help him unwrap his bandages, and as you do you are surprised to see them mostly scabbed and scarred over, only a few of the deeper ones were still periodically dripping with blood.

“That’s quite impressive,” you remark, tracing your finger lightly over one of the scars.

“Not as good as it used to be,” He shrugs. You turn your back to him as he gets into the shower. Once the curtain is closed you grab his clothes and as he showers you wash his clothes and your bed sheets, grateful to have the luxury of in unit laundry. 

You hear him drop some stuff in the shower and check on him, he says he's okay and that his shoulder is just stiff. You return to your spot on the couch, wondering how he managed to heal so well overnight, maybe he just had good genetics. His muscles and features already seemed unfair to be on a man of his presumed age, so perhaps he just had quicker blood clotting than your average person.

You hear the shower shut off, and a few moments later he steps out. Wrapped in only a towel, your breath catches in your throat at the sight of him. You couldn’t help but imagine being pressed up against him, much like last night, but without the barrier of injury or clothing. The way the towel clung to his waist, droplets of water stuck to his skin, his hair wet and dripping. You shook the thoughts out of your head and offer him the biggest bathrobe you have while his clothes are drying.

You make a pot of coffee and sit next to him on the couch. He seems much more relaxed this morning, and maybe even a bit more interested in your company. He reaches his hand out to you, placing it right above your knee, “I appreciate you going through all this effort for an old man.”

“Of course, I couldn’t just leave you on the street.” You squirm a bit as he rubs his hand gently back and forth.

“Anything I can do for ya, you know return the favor?” You could see a bit of a smile spreading as he looked towards you. God he was much more attractive in the light of day.

“Oh-” You feel heat rising to your face and you look away towards the window. “No. No, it’s no big deal.”

He smirks, he can hear your heart racing. Hell, he can even smell your desire pooling between your thighs. Sweet girls like you always seem to be affected by him. He drops his hand from your knee, leaning back into the couch, “Come on, be honest with me Sweetheart,”

You scoot a little closer to him, your thigh pressing into his.

“That's it, I don’t bite.” But deep down he would, if you begged him too. He’d rip those pjs off you and treat you like a doll. Make you squirm and scream until your mind goes hazy and your eyes water. 

You lean closer against him, your shoulder pressing up against his, trying to build the courage to ask him for what you really want. Before you can find the words he brings his hand up to your jaw and turns you to face him. He searches your eyes for a moment, giving you space to protest, and when you don’t he closes the gap and kisses you. Gentle and soft, you can taste the coffee on his breath but you don’t even care. He pulls away and you whine involuntarily.

“Needy, are we?” You nod and push yourself closer to him, he kisses you again, dropping his hand down to trace along your arm, until he reaches your waist. He pulls you in, his hand against the small of your back. He kisses you deeply and passionately, savoring the taste of your mouth as he slips his tongue inside. Feeling pleased by the soft whines and moans you’re making against him. 

He slips his free hand down between your thighs, groaning when he feels how wet you are through the fabric of your pajama shorts. Practically smiling into the kiss when he slips his hand under the waistband and realizes you weren’t wearing panties this entire time. 

“Bringing me into your house, and you didn’t even have panties on?” He brings his fingertips to rub your clit in little circles. You whine, knowing that you could never expect your night to unfold the way it did. His hand is so rough and calloused but his movements are so gentle, teasing you so softly. You press your head into the side of his arm wanting him to be rougher, wanting to get there faster.

He pulls his hand away and you groan at the loss of contact. He pulls you into his lap and removes your shorts. With you resting on his thighs he leans you back against him and brings his hand back to toy with you. His touch is electrifying and you rock your hips up against him trying to get more, but he keeps the same languid pace with just a small bit of pressure. 

He uses his other hand to wrap around your waist and hold you in place. You can feel him pressed up against your back, the soft fabric of the bathrobe you gave him gliding along your skin. As you shift and whine he keeps you steady, not giving you enough to make you cum, but just enough to make you feel dizzy as the frustration starts to build.

“Logan… please,” You plead with him and he kisses your neck.

“What do you need, baby?”

“More…” He laughs against your skin as you try to press yourself up against his hand again, but he just keeps you in place, his grip tightening. 

“I’ll give you more.” And he does. Finally speeding up the motion of his hand and adding more force. You’re so happy that you hardly notice as your orgasm quickly washes over you. Your thighs trembling against him. You don’t even register it as he flips you around to face him, using both his hands to hold your hips and lower you down onto his cock. 

When you come back to earth, you’re met with the feeling of being utterly full. You hadn’t gotten a good look at his dick before, but just based on the feeling of it, you knew you were in trouble. It was thick and stretched you open, making you shiver as he bounced you slowly up and down. The way it dragged along your walls, the way the tip of it brushed against that sweet spot inside. You were reduced to moans and whines, and hardly any thoughts could form in your brain that weren’t regarding Logan fucking you. He kissed you while he continued to fuck into you. His pace picking up and making you see stars. 

“Fuck… that pretty little pussy of yours feels so good.” He groaned into your ear and you shivered around him. “Were you gonna hide this from me?”

You shake your head, and try to say no but all that escapes your mouth is another choked whine. He grins as he admires your fucked out expression. You can feel yourself getting closer and closer to release, as he pounds into you, hitting that spot and pressing against you. You’re breathing becomes ragged and your whines and moans blend into nothing but noise as you clench around his cock and come undone.

“That’s it, Doll. Cum all over this cock.” He fucks you through your orgasm and you drop your head onto his shoulder. Whining and moaning and cursing under your breath as he doesn’t stop. He’s getting closer too, his thrusts start to falter and his composure starts to slip. You feel him twitch and in moments warm, thick cum floods your insides. He holds you there, and kisses the top of your head. Murmuring about how good you feel, how you’re such a good girl for taking all of him. Your fuzzy little head can’t even reply. 

When your brain finds its way back to you, and you can breathe in a regular manner, you feel his cock slide out of you, and his cum seeps from you, coating your thighs and his. He shifts under you and you stiffen.

“Do you have to leave?” You aren’t sure why, but you don’t want to let go of this strange man just yet. 

“I can stay a little longer for you, Princess.”

[thatfoxnamedfinley]

Ten Heartbeats...aka The Way of Kings thoughts

Holy fuck my friends

holy FUCK

this is the longest book I've ever read while simultaneously being one of the best books I've ever read

Friends, students, juvenile delinquents. LEND ME YOUR EAR.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT, this is going to be a long one baby LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

Them: Ok so everyone say their favorite character on three. Okay? One, Two, Three! -

Me: Szeth! Wait...er...I think actually it's Dalinar. Wait...but, Kaladin...er...and Syl too. Well, maybe...Wit...er...possibly Teft? Rock! Er...

Them:

The characters are EXCELLENT. Fascinating. Probably because the world building is so solid that they are able to all stand on their own in their own stories.

I know a big complaint is Shallan's parts in the beginning half (because we're so thirsty for Kaladin and Dalinar's stories) but I still really liked them. I know Capsule isn't the guy's name (spelled Kabsal I think) but I'm calling him Capsule. That's the one part I wasn't a huge fan of only because I'm not a fan of romance in anything I consume. There was a payoff at the end but still.

Now, I DO think that Jasnah CARRIED Shallan's chapters because a lot of what Shallan was trying to do revolved around Jasnah and stealing her Soulcaster and what Jasnah was researching and who Jasnah's father was and how intelligent Jasnah is. I actually found the philosophy of her killing those men in the alleyway to make Shallan more open minded to different ways of thinking to be quite brilliant. I also knew through other avenues of the story (Dalinar's POV) that what Jasnah was researching was major and the lore we would get from Shallan's POV would be invaluable to the world building. ESPECIALLY towards the back half when Shallan was drawing weird things and Capsule made his move to assassinate Jasnah (with bread and jam LMFAO bro)

The scene of Shallan running away from those creatures she was drawing was genuinely frightening, especially when she reached out towards the hand that was near her (in her drawing) and felt something there. I was like

And the soulcasting and that both she and Jasnah can do it without a soulcaster because...??????????? oh dont worry we dont know yet

And wtf is Shadesmar

like WTF is that place? WTF is there? What is it? A different plane? Are spren there? Are voidbringers there? Are not all spren good? Like, I know there are painspren and deathspren and rotspren and the question has continued to be asked if the spren are drawn to things or if they create them. But they seem to have limited intelligence (minus maybe Syl). But there's no reason to believe that maybe there are spren that aren't malicious; we just haven't seen them yet. They're in Shadesmar bitch

(side note, anticipationspren and gloryspren may be my fav, I can imagine them as little sprites with their hands raised in the air, lit af)

OH AND BITCH the revelation of the Parshmen being the VOIDBRINGERS????????????????? BITCH WTF

When it was mentioned the Voidbringers "hummed in song" I was like WAIT A FUCKING SECOND THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY

like WTF IS HAPPENING and when Jasnah was like "girlie, these bitches are ingratiated into every aspect of our society" Shallan and I were BOTH like

Kaladin and Syl. Baby boi and baby girl.

do not TOUCH me when Syl was holding up her little arms in front of the highstorm to try to shield Kaladin from it

When she brought him a leaf to make him feel better

Saying she tripped some men to get back at being mean to Kaladin and she was so proud of herself

At moments she gave Kaladin a reason to live and she was AMAZING. BOIIIIIII when she appeared a full woman next to Kaladin and the look on her face and the echo of his father's words making him go back and save Dalinar. Syl appearing like that honestly carried so much weight, especially when you find out she's an Honorspren. Spirit of oaths. Of promises. And nobility. And all of a sudden that moment and that battle had so much more gravity. I can close my eyes an imagine her hair blowing around her face as she watches Dalinar's banner fight to survive and the moment Kaladin realises he HAS to go help them....

BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

ok wait wait wait my heartrate is increasing let me travel back a little bit

Kaladin and the process of getting his Bridge Four homeboys to trust him was

Rock and Teft are LEGENDS. Rock being the first one to really see Kaladin as a leader was iconic.

I'm listening to the audiobooks (if you are unaware and this is a first book posting of mine you've seen) I'm a REALLY slow reader. I get distracted and I have ADD so I need to be moving and doing other things (even if it's just COLORING while I listen, I can't just sit and read but I'm trying to get better at it), and there's a bookmark+note I left on chapter 21:

"Rock, I fear, may be an actual legend"

I actually ended up liking Teft a little bit more than Rock by the end of the book but Rock being the first one to actually be open and willing to Kaladin's leadership made me really like him immediately.

I liked Teft a lot because he was the one constantly checking up on Kaladin and asking him if he was okay, giving him space when he needed it but still staying close to him and I thought that was really sweet. When you're depressed, sometimes someone just needs to BE there with you and Teft seemed to understand the burden of leadership. And of course it helped that he saw Kaladin glow like a flamespren on steroids after Kaladin survived a highstorm.

All due respect I'm so glad he survived the highstorm cause, *COUGH* prophecy *COUGH*, but Sanderson described him as basically flapping in the wind like a wet sock

I liked when they were doing the assault to save Dalinar (SADEAS YOU FUCKING BASTARD OH I'LL GET TO HIM) and Bridge Four was watching him fight with his spear and they were all watching in awe and the Teft snapped out of it like OUR BRIDGELEADER NEEDS US COME ON MEN

And they all charged I was like

I came around on Moash too eventually XD

Lopen was funny cause he had like 15 cousins that owed him favors and I'm like BRO WHO ARE YOU

Hoid being Sigzil's old master was a pleasant surprise. When he was telling that story to Kaladin by the fire I was like "Wait a minute is he also a Worldsinger?? He knows all this SHIT!" Then when it was revealed I was satisfied. A pleasant tie-in to that character that made the world seem more connected.

My working theory is that spren gave the Radiants their powers and they have to do like an "equal exchange" thing (like Shallan with that voice that wanted something) for their powers to fully manifest. I don't know that you're "BORN" with powers so much as chosen by a specific spren with a specific power. But girl, idk this is just what my brain is thinking after lying in bed with scrap paper like

Dalinar.

Stoic boi. Soft boi. Emotional boi. Pent up boi. Sadeas and Dalinar have this exchange in which he has this to say about Dalinar. From Chapter 26, ahem, let me read it:

"It's odd, how a leader's influence can affect his men," Sadeas said. "So many of these are like smaller versions of you. Bundles of emotion, wrapped up and tied until they become stiff from the pressure. They're so sure in some ways, yet so insecure in others."

[...]

"But don't you ever want to let it out, as you used to? Doesn't it pound on you inside, like someone trapped within a large drum? Beating, banging, trying to claw free?"

"Yes," Dalinar said.

[...]

"And the Thrill, Dalinar. Do you still feel the Thrill?"

*folds sheet of paper away* And not only does this sound like the beginning of a very intense gay fanfic (note that my bookmark note in the audiobook read as follows: Yo Sadeas, this pillow talk is WILD rn bro. "Do you still feel the Thrill?" BRO WE'RE ON A HUNT FOR A CHASMFIEND RN THIS IS *NOT* THE TIME MY GUY), but Navani echoes something similar later. Dalinar does too when they finally accept their feelings for each other. He says he HAS to live for something or else he spirals out of control. The Codes, Gavilar, the book. If he gives himself any "leeway on the leash" then he rages. I found that to be ever present in his character, always having to calm himself down and ESSENTIALLY do breathing exercises when people pissed him tf off.

I found Dalinar's POV quite captivating. A warlord, a feared warlord, who has visions of...crazy shit during these highstorms and really goes through this internal conflict of if he is mad or not and if he should abdicate to his son. His boon and curse are unknown to us from the NightWatcher (although alluding maybe his curse has to do with his wife as he doesn't even remember her name).

During the battle at the end with the Parshendi when Sadeas abandons him I had several thoughts and feelings during this

1.) Kaladin choosing to go save him was fucking EPIC. When Dalinar sees them charging back to them, a single lone bridge crew...using THAT as a hope and fighting through the army....GOOSEBUMPS BRO

2.) I think that Parshendi that said he had "finally found" Dalinar after searching for him was Odium. I really think this. The odd respectful saluting towards Dalinar...it was all so odd but it makes me feel what I felt since we saw his very first highstorm vision. Dalinar is chosen. A lot of our MCs are. For what, I don't know. But they're chosen for this Everstorm coming.

3.) SADEAS. You insidious POS. From Dalinar's POV, it was written so well that I actually thought Sadeas was an ally. Maybe I'm a dumb mother fucker. I did NOT anticipate Sadeas betraying him. I really didn't. It's a trope and I should of seen that shit from a mile away but I didn't.

4.) It's actually heatwarming how much Adolin loves his father. during his brief POV's he thinks about him a lot in a very loving manner and it's actually lovely to see that the relationships he has with his two sons are HEALTHY. In Chapter 12, Adolin states the reason he fights is that he can never forgive the Parshendi for bringing his father so much pain after the assassination of his brother. That's like...super sweet! He even states in the same chapter that he thinks his father is the greatest man alive. Seeing a loving, healthy dynamic between a father and his son was actually super, super special and unexpected. He still had moments where he challenged his father and Dalinar LETS him but he spends a lot of his time trying to understand his father's thoughts and I can't WAIT to see more of this dynamic as well as more of Adolin and Renarin (I have a feeling this dude will be a dark horse later) in later books.

World building is great. I literally felt like I was dropped into this world with no explanations, expected to figure everything out. While there are frustrations in that maybe, I really liked it. It took me about a week to work through this book (I read along with the audiobook, like someone was reading to me at night) and many a night was I awake til like 4am listening and thinking about it. In my bed all curled up, listening and imagining the world. Giggling sometimes, gasping. Clapping vigorously. I almost cried once.

THIS is how stories should be felt. Like I'm by a fire, wrapped up in a blanket given to me from another world, lost in the stories of the stars when I look up. One of the best experiences I've had with a book and I'm truly looking forward to the next book.

Until next time *salutes*

side thoughts pulled from audiobook bookmarked notes:

Dalinar giving up his Shardblade for Bridge Four and all of the bridgeman was kinda hot, ngl

Syl may be a GOAT

"Brightlord Sadeas," Wit said, taking a sip of wine. "I'm terribly sorry to see you here." LMFAOO WHAT A CUNTY ICON i love Wit

wait if men don't write how does Szeth know how wtf (Szeth is an actual baby angel and he may be the side character I want to know the most about. Super super interesting)

Teft kinda clutch

"What is that?" Gaz said, pointing. "Bridge Crew. Carrying what I believe is...yes, it's a bridge." Kaladin is lowkey a comedian

wait where tf did Gaz go later on

Bridge Four nodding knowingly when they see Kaladin talking to air LMFAOOOO I fear this bridge crew is iconic

[joelsmochi]

Good Surprise

Read part one here. SUMMARY: Joel finally gets to have you. WARNINGS: smut minors dni, a little slow at some points but it leads up to a very very very pervy!joel, needy!sub!joel, dom!reader (??? she's a little mean hehe), awkwardness, brief cig smoking (don't judge girly is stressed). 18+ WARNINGS: panty kink, cum eating, masturbation (m), oral (m receiving), good boy bomb (just once), dirty talk, overstimulation, multiple orgasms (m + f), public...stuff WC: 7.6k

A/N: Here is part two of UATW. There is at least one more part coming soon, so stay tuned! Thank you for reading, I love you all sm. Enjoy :)

series masterlist | main masterlist

If one more fucking customer complains about the wait time—

“Excuse me, ma’am, how much longer do we have to wait to be seated?” A rude man you’ve already dealt with asked even though you were in the middle of taking someone’s order.

Your eyes were wide out of sheer annoyance when you turned to look at him and asked, “How long was the wait when you got here?”

“Fifteen minutes,” he replied.

“Okay, and how long ago was that?”

“Five minutes ago.”

“Fifteen minus five is..." You pretended to think about it to be satirical. "Oh! Ten! Your wait time is ten minutes.”

You heard one of your managers shout your name, and you turned to look at him.

“Hey, maybe you should go take ten, alright?” He suggested. “You need a cigarette?”

He held his pack of Newport’s in his hand. You rolled your eyes, snatched the pack from him, and walked away without saying another word. “Only ten!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

You stepped out of the rear door and stood next to the side of the building, watching the ongoing traffic as you lit and puffed on the disgusting cigarette.

“Your daddy know you smoking?” You heard from across the parking lot. Your eyes adjusted and saw Joel standing there with Tommy, who seemingly got off of work not too long ago.

“Hey, pretty girl!” Tommy shouted before walking over to you. You held the cigarette away from him and gave him half a hug while he placed a kiss on your head. “Why you smokin’, huh?”

“Oh my God, it’s one fucking cigarette,” you exclaimed.

“Rough day?” Joel asked.

You rolled your eyes, looking away from the two men. “Yeah, shit. Sorry. I’ll seat you guys when I get back in there. You can go ahead of this dickhead in there interrupting me every five minutes.”

“We were just gonna get it to go—“

Joel interrupted Tommy, “He givin’ you a hard time?”

“I’m probably just over-exaggerating. I’m just hungry. And tired. You guys go in and get your food. I don’t want to keep ya.”

Joel hated seeing you like this: your eyes puffy and purple from stress, smoking a goddamned cigarette. Your focus both everywhere and nowhere.

He thought maybe it was his fault for not seeing you these past few weeks. It wasn’t because he was afraid. Work was just busy, and he wanted to spend as much time with Sarah before she spent the rest of the summer at her friends’ houses.

“No, we’ll stay,” Tommy offered, feeling almost as bad as Joel. “Haven’t seen ya in forever anyways. We’ll catch up when the rush is over.”

You offered Tommy a weak smile while Joel was grinning from ear to ear in his head. He was happy to at least see you. Joel took the cigarette from your hand and tossed it in a puddle. You turned your annoyed self around and walked inside through the back door.

“Hey, uh, Tommy, why don’t you go ‘head and order for us. I gotta take a leak,” Joel said.

Tommy agreed, walking off, and the second that he was out of view Joel pushed you back into the men’s restroom, manipulating your body until your back was against the door. You couldn't even catch your breath with how fast everything was happening.

He loosely wrapped his hand around your throat, then licked a firm strip along the curve of your neck to your earlobe before giving it a mean bite. You gasped as your nipples hardened.

“I’m sorry I haven't seen you, baby,” he whispered in your ear, moving his hand to your skirt. Flashbacks of the kitchen playing in your head.

“That’s okay, I know you’ve been busy,” you whispered as he lifted the fabric up. Your lips crashed against his ferociously. You moaned when the bitter taste of coffee fell from his tongue onto yours after you slipped it into his mouth.

“I think about you all the time, you know?” You nodded at his question and kissed him again, this time much more sloppy.

“I have to get back to work, J—“ You stopped speaking when he lifted your leg and began to grind his hard cock against your needy cunt. You inhaled too hard, having to suppress your moans. “Joel, I have to go back,” you breathed out.

“Just one more minute, baby, please,” he whimpered, grinding into you roughly, “just one more—“

This was more relief than he had gotten any time he fucked his fist at the thought of you. Being close to you, making you feel how hard his cock got for you — finally rewarding himself with you even if it was only like this.

He didn’t envision dry humping you in the bathroom where you work, but he waited weeks to have you against him and felt like he deserved a little gratuity for his patience.

His arms looped around your back, head laying on your chest. You snaked a hand through his hair and held him close, wanting to feel him writhe and tremble beneath you.

When he said one minute, he meant it. Your pelvis was already growing sore from how hard and fast he was grinding you, but it was worth it.

He moaned a little too loud and moved his mouth over your neck to quiet himself as his thrusts became less frequent and longer. His breathing was heavy and hard, back rising and falling from trying to hold himself up as his orgasm toppled his entire being.

You felt him push your panties down your leg and tried to stop him. You thought he was trying to have sex. “Joel, come on, we don’t have time—“

“This ain’t f’you,” he chuckled tiredly. He successfully got them off of you and fixed your skirt before he held your panties up by your face. “This is f’me.” He folded your soaked underwear and shoved them in his pocket, then smacked a kiss on your lips before walking into a stall.

You realized neither of you checked them before your quick hookup. You prayed that nobody else was in the bathroom. Your trembling legs miraculously carried you out to the dining room. You continued to work like nothing even happened.

“Back on time for once?” You boss teased.

“Only because your cigarettes are shit.”

“Thanks for the ride, Tommy,” you said from the backseat of the truck.

“Yeah, kid, anytime. Thanks for covering our dinner,” he replied.

You grimaced when you remembered you deleted their order from the system. “Yeahhh, do me a favor and don’t mention that to Mikey.”

The men chuckled, and Tommy promised he wouldn’t say anything.

“Night, Tom,” you said before climbing out of the truck with Joel following.

“Night!”

Tommy practically sped off, leaving you and Joel to stand at the end of your driveway. You looked up at Joel with a smile, untying your apron and bunching it up in your hand.

“You really are a perv,” you joked. Joel just pursed his lips, checking you out. “What ya gonna do with my panties anyways, huh?”

“I’m gonna use them,” he spoke.

You cocked up an eyebrow and laughed when the image of him using the garment to stroke himself popped into your head. “You have fun with that,” you said after walking past him.

“Oh, I will.”

He waited until you got inside safely before he entered his own home; he grabbed a bottle of water and checked in on Sarah, seeing that she was already asleep with her notebook open and a pen in her hand. He closed her notebook and took the pen, setting them on her nightstand. She shuffled a bit after Joel put the blanket over her but settled after getting comfortable.

Joel closed her door and then went into the bathroom, turning the shower on; he undressed and reached for the pocket in his jeans that held your panties. They were blue with a pink rose sewn into the center of the hem. He stared at them, wondering what the fuck possessed him to do something like that.

He couldn’t resist bringing them to his face, as dirty as it felt. He saw that they were laden with your discharge. He took in the scent of you while palming his limpness. He could smell many things: your tangy juices, your vanilla perfume. He even smelled a little bit of your sweat, and it fucking incapacitated him.

His eyes rolled to the back of his head while he tried to suppress the moan that left his hoarse throat. His dick quickly hardened after he gave your panties a few more sniffs, and it made him crave the taste of you in his mouth again.

He brought the panties down to his cock and lazily wrapped them around it; he leaned over the sink, trying to hold himself up as he imagined your pretty lips wrapped around his length.

He thought about different ways you’d suck him — would you smile? Would you use your hands or just your mouth? Would you gag and choke around him so much that it brought tears to your eyes?

Every scenario he imagined only made him stroke himself harder and faster. He was gripping the corner of the sink so hard his hand was beginning to cramp up.

His cock twitched, straining against the fabric of your panties, and he felt that familiar stretch in the pit of his stomach to indicate he was close. He can’t think of a time when he finished so fast just from fucking his fist and doing it without a magazine or a movie to help? He was drunk off of you and never wanted to recover.

What is this girl doing to me?

His mind switched over to chaste thoughts of you, and that stretch inside him only tugged deeper. You were such a sweet person: always wanting to help people out and trying to get people to smile. Your smile would light up the entire room, and your confidence was intimidating in the best way possible.

Even during the moment, you had been asking for help with your ‘boyfriend’ while trailing your foot up Joel's leg, you still managed to sound so sweet. Your eyes would tend to ask him if something was okay. The thing was that when he was with you, everything was.

This was no longer just you two sneaking around like a pair of high schoolers. This had become a kink for him. The feeling of shame he often felt only turned him on even more.

He bit his lip a little too hard when his cock began to throb, immersing him in strain and ecstasy. It was almost painful. His hips jerked as he fucked his fist, pumping the last of his cum into your panties.

Joel’s head hung low while he caught his breath so he could muster up the strength to step into the steamy shower after he tossed your panties on the floor next to his jeans.

Thoughts of you floated around in his head as he stood beneath the water; he looked out of the small awning in the shower, and his eyes immediately locked with yours.

The devious smirk on your face told him you knew just what he just did, and he was too embarrassed to smile back before you left his view.

It was Independence Day, and while you didn’t exactly care to celebrate it, it was a good enough excuse for you and your dad to have some family and friends over.

You were in the middle of forming burger patties when you saw Tommy, Sarah, and another girl her age enter the kitchen from the back door.

“Hi!” You chirped, letting Tommy hug you and kiss your temple. “How are you guys?” Sarah hugged your side as well, with you returning the gesture.

“Good,” they said in unison.

“Where’s your dad at? I need to see what kinda beer he wants,” Tommy said while stealing a bottle of water from the fridge.

“What about what kind of beer I want?” You lightheartedly complained.

“What kinda beer you want?” Tommy said after a reluctant roll of his eyes.

“I don’t care, but ooh! Can you get me some wine coolers?”

Tommy pretended to be annoyed and walked upstairs after sassily saying, “Fiiine.”

“Who’s your friend?” You asked Sarah.

“This is Crystal. She’s my camp buddy,” Sarah introduced. You said hi and introduced yourself before Sarah asked, “Hey, do you still have that Cameron Diaz movie?”

You side-eyed her and tried not to smile. “The one that’s rated R?” Sarah gave you a hopeful smile, one that you couldn’t refuse. “It’s in my room, you can watch it in there. And hey! Keep the volume down, please.”

“Thank you!” She shouted before she and her friend ran upstairs, giggling adorably.

“What’re they giggling about?” Joel’s voice boomed as he walked into the room.

“Nothin’, just girl stuff.”

You were wearing a maroon-colored tube top and a black maxi skirt with wedge sandals. His eyes glossed over every curve and line of your body with how beautifully the clothes hugged your body.

You finished preparing the patties and turned around to wash your hands. Meanwhile, Joel’s hands snaked over your hips to cradle the base of your belly. Sheepishly giggling, you swayed your body in his arms and said, “Joel, someone could come down and see us.”

“That’s what makes it so fun,” he whispered, his voice vibrating against your ear, sending chills throughout your spine. “You look so beautiful today.”

You hummed with a goofy smile on your face. “Thank you, you don’t look too bad yourself.” You turned around in his grasp and held his face as if he were fragile. He was clad in a brown shirt that complimented his pretty brown orbs and his typical Levi jeans that hung perfectly around his hips. “I’ve missed my favorite pair of panties.”

“Those blue ones with the rose on ‘em?”

“Uh-huh, you know the ones you came in last week?”

He pretended to think about it for a few seconds. “Ohh, yeah. Yeah, right. I actually brought them here with me today.” He pulled said panties out of his pocket and held them out of reach when you tried to snatch them. “Gi’me a kiss,” he bargained, and you happily obliged.

Your lips landed on his with a tenderness warm enough to melt him inside. His lips swirled around with yours in an entanglement so delicious it made your cunt leak all of Joel’s favorite flavors.

He slipped his tongue out and slid it across your lips, asking for permission to taste you; you parted your mouth slightly enough for him to lick across your teeth. You giggled and slid your tongue out to mesh with his while both of you tried to keep quiet.

You felt how thick and dominating his tongue was, telepathically begging him to lick your pussy. His kisses were so docile for how your body was responding to them.

Tommy and your father could be heard coming down the stairs when you were about to deepen the kiss. Joel tucked your underwear back into his pocket as you gasped for air and he immediately retreated to the other side of the island while faking a conversation.

“So, d’you get to meet any fashion designers when you were in school?” He asked just when they walked in.

“No,” you pouted as you thought about it, “but we did get to go to Ready to Wear. We saw lots of big brands being modeled.”

Just then, your dad chimed in. “My baby girl’s gonna be the best fashion designer the world will ever know.”

You blushed when he pinched your cheekbones and thanked him. “Your burgers are done. I finished the potato salad and the lemonade. All I have to do is finish the pudding and go to the store for the peach cobbler and ice cream, and I would love to take your truck to go and do that.” You held your hand out with a persuasive smile, waiting for him to drop the keys in your hand.

You saw your dad purse his lips and glance back and forth between the two brothers. He hated being put on the spot so naturally you made it a habit to do that.

“Last time you took my truck anywhere, you came home with a court hearing and a forty-dollar ticket,” he grunted. You didn’t budge other than to further emphasize your smile; his sigh was full of resentment, but he ultimately pulled his keys out and placed them in your hand. “No speeding.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“No smoking.”

“Course not.”

“No drinking until you get home.”

“I’m not a fucking idiot.”

“No picking up friends.”

“Of course.”

“No picking up drugs.”

“Dad.”

“And Joel’s going with you.”

“Oh, great. A babysitter."

“Anything goes wrong, you call me.”

“Got it, Rambo. Can I have thirty bucks?”

He reached into his wallet and asked, “What do you need thirty bucks for?”

You happily took the money from him and said, “I just wanted to see if you’d give it to me.” He rolled his eyes and waved you off as he walked away. Tommy followed him.

“Okay, babysitter Miller, let’s go. And Tommy, don’t forget my Seagrams!”

The drive to the store was probably the most normal interaction you had with Joel since your arrival a month ago. Your experience attending fashion school sparked his curiosity, and you were eager to discuss it with him. As you were growing up, he rarely got to see you excited about anything, so he enjoyed seeing you passionate about something.

But as soon as you parked the car and looked at Joel, the normalcy melted away from the heat of the sun. He trimmed his patchy facial hair and got a haircut that (to him) was long overdue.

“You clean up nice,” you spoke barely above a whisper. He nodded as thank you, not moving any muscles on his leathering face. You got a whiff of his aftershave — or maybe it was cologne — not quite sure what the scent was, but it smelled rich and musky. “Smell good too.”

That got his smile to crack.

“I know I said it already, but you look very pretty today,” he replied. He began to stroke your chin while using his thumb to trace the outline of your jaw.

“Thank you.” You kissed the curve of his hand, making the hairs on his arm stand up. You felt a rush of embarrassment though you weren't too sure why. You closed your eyes and kissed his hand again. “Fuck, Joel. What are you doin’ t’me?”

He frowned. “What, baby?”

You shrugged, unsure of what to say or what you even felt.

“Do we need to stop—“

“No. No.” You looked to him again, hoping to find an answer or, at the very least, an explanation. “I think I’m just overwhelmed.”

He pulled his hand away, anticipating your next move. It never came. You just sat there boring your eyes into his, then the mood shifted; his smile was contagious, filling your lungs with lost air and pushing the anxiety away.

You leaned over the center console to kiss him; his hand cupped the base of your neck beneath your hair, swirling his thumb around the nap of your neck.

The kisses you shared were savory and slow, an occasional mewl leaving your throat. You placed a hand on his chest, feeling his muscles and heart beating rapidly. Your panties were coated in a chilling layer of slick from his tongue slipping against yours, and he pulled away before it got too out of hand.

“Come on, ‘fore your old man sends the army after me.”

“He was in the Navy,” you corrected.

Joel managed to be on his best behavior in the store with you. For a moment, it actually felt like he was in a relationship with you. It didn’t help when an older lady stopped you two to say you were a lovely couple. While Joel was taken aback by the compliment, you just said thank you and continued shopping like it was nothing.

You figured you two looked like a couple with the close proximity and lingering gazes, so it didn’t surprise you as it did him.

He enjoyed seeing you pick up makeup that interested you and look in the little mirrors to see if you liked it against your skin tone. He let you guide him through the store. He didn’t mind. Not when he got more time alone with you.

“You’ve changed a lot. You know that?” He said abruptly when you were looking at the ice cream. You asked how he arrived at that conclusion as you gave him a look of disbelief. “You seem to be a lot more yourself. More sure of who you are.”

You gave him a sad smile as you came to that realization. “You really think so?”

“I do."

You looked back at the ice cream and grabbed a french vanilla carton, telling him, “You changed quite a bit yourself too… You were a very disorganized person from what I can remember. You just seem to have a clearer head now than you were before.”

“I guess I just didn’t know how to deal with being a single father.”

“Well, I think you’re doing a good job raising Sarah. She… She seems sure of herself too. Like me I guess.”

“Don’t know where she got it from.”

“Well, it wasn’t your grumpy ass. That’s for sure.”

The rest of the day went without a hitch. More people from around the neighborhood showed up, and for most of the day, you were mingling with Sarah and Crystal, who raved about some lewd scene from the movie you’d let them watch.

While everyone was watching the fireworks, you started picking up in the kitchen, knowing your dad was too drunk off his ass to do it. You loaded the dishwasher and began putting leftovers away when the girls came inside.

“My dad is letting me stay at Crystal’s tonight for the weekend,” Sarah said, her tone giving away the sense that she wanted another favor.

“Yeees?” You taunted.

“Well. I was wondering if we could borrow a couple movies and maybe some makeup?”

You looked at Sarah, seeing that glint of eagerness that you remember having at her age. Curious about the world and boys and girls and relationships. You couldn’t say no.

“Which movies?”

“Thirteen and What a Girl Wants?”

“No and yes,” you answered.

Sarah was clearly not happy you said no to Thirteen. “What?! Why? But I’m fourteen.”

“You can watch Thirteen when you turn thirty,” you mothered.

“Ugh, okay fine. How about Hot Chicks? Crystal’s never seen it.”

You debated it in your head but figured it was better than what you let them watch earlier. “Okay, deal. And only take makeup from the top of the vanity!” You shouted after they were already making their way upstairs. Your dad appeared not long after. He hugged you after wobbling a little bit, and a wet kiss was placed on your forehead. “Ew, Dad!”

“Some of us are going to a bar downtown for a couple hours.”

“You’re not driving are you?”

“No, no. It’s just a mile up the road. I’ll get a taxi on the way back. I promise you.”

“Okay. Well, call me if you need a ride or get arrested.”

A few others came inside, and you saw how your Dad looked at one of the women; physically, she was the antithesis of your mom. He gave her a smile once she noticed him staring.

“Go talk to her, dumbass,” you whispered, giving him a nudge with your elbow.

“Oh, we’ll be doin' more than ta—“

“Don’t!” You interrupted. “Do not finish that sentence.”

He chuckled and hugged you goodnight. “Joel said he’ll help clean up.”

“Oh, he doesn’t have to do that,” you responded.

“I think he has a crush on you.”

You froze at his words slowly turning your head to him. “Uh…”

You could see it in his eyes that he didn’t really know why he said that. He was definitely drunk. “Anyways. Love you, kid. I gotta get me some tail.”

You grimaced and pushed him away. “Real classy, Dad. Really fucking classy.” You shook your head as he followed his friends laughing.

Joel had dropped the girls off at Crystal’s house before he made his way back to you. The second he left, you ran upstairs to clean yourself quickly, hoping that tonight would be the night you finally get to have him.

Joel’s footsteps were heard from the entryway trailing into the living room where you were watching TV. Your head turned, a smile already curling around your lips.

“Hi, Joel,” you said before clicking the television off. He could just hear it in your tone how horny you were. He stared at you like a deer in headlights, making you laugh, so you walked over to him, bare feet padding against the wood. You took his hand in yours and guided him upstairs. “Sit on the bed,” you told him.

He was a nervous fucking wreck and you acting so calm about the situation only made him more nervous.

You shut the door even though no one was home and turned off your big light, the only glow coming from some string lights and an old ambient light in the corner. As corny as it felt “setting the tone” you wanted to make this moment special because every other time was rushed and sloppy (not that you minded).

You stood in front of him, feeling exposed despite being fully dressed. You rubbed your clammy hands over your thighs.

“Is this okay?” You asked.

“Yeah,” Joel said a little loudly. He cleared his throat and tried to calm down. “Yeah.”

“We don’t—we don’t have to.”

“No, no, I want to. If—if you want to. Shit, uh…” He chuckled, bashful at his poor attempt at easing the tension.

“Okay,” you tittered.

You reached for the rim of your shirt, lifting it slowly to expose your stomach. He watched your fingers slither over your skin, and you asked again, “Is this okay?”

How did I get so lucky?

He nodded.

You moved your shirt up more, exposing the underside of your breasts and part of your areola. “This okay?”

This is the first time, he realized, that I’ll see her tits.

He nodded again. You peeled the shirt from your body and let it drop to the floor.

Fuck. They’re perfect.

Your nipples were already stiff with anticipation, goosebumps scattered over your flesh. “How about…” Your thumbs broke the waistband of your skirt. “This?” You pushed the fabric down just enough to reveal that you weren’t wearing any panties.

She’s doing all this for me. To make me feel special.

The lump in his throat ran dry, and you didn’t bother waiting for another response. You let your skirt cascade down your legs to hit the floor. You teetered over to stand between his legs and pressed his face into your belly.

He pressed a kiss into your flesh and ran his hands over your thighs before firming a squeeze on your ass. His nails left indents while he sunk his teeth into your skin, wanting his body to mesh in yours.

Your knees slowly drifted to the floor; he let you fiddle with the opening of his jeans so that he could focus on tasting your sweet lips, getting lost in the feeling of being here with you.

You sucked his bottom lip roughly and palmed his growing erection over his boxers. He hovered over the bed for a moment to push his pants down enough to let his cock spring free.

Your eyes widened at his girth while his cockhead tapped his lower stomach. Your mouth watered as you watched it twitch a couple times.

He leaned back on his elbows and took in the sight of your intimidation from the size of his dick, smiling arrogantly when you licked your lip with the purpose to ready your mouth. You hummed after gaining a bit of confidence to praise how big he was.

“All for you,” he said.

You slowly blinked, then wrapped your hand around his velvety shaft. His cock was littered with veins. You licked your lips and drooled your salivation over his warm tip, letting it glide down a bit. You kept your eyes locked with his as you wrapped your swollen lips around him.

His cock felt hot and it pulsed with need once it came in contact with your perfect mouth. He fought the urge to moan, letting out his cries in a symphony of whimpers instead.

Your eyes rolled back at the sound of his wordless little pleads. You circled your tongue around his head relentlessly before surprising him by forcing his cock to hit the back of your throat.

His entire body flinched and he shouted out a few curse words. You gagged and pulled back; you allowed your spit to drip down his skin. You slurped around his tip and moaned when he flinched again. Then, you took more of him in your mouth, bobbing your head up and down. You fell in love with how he tasted in your mouth as his salty precum oozed over your tongue. The gagging and slurping noises echoed in the room and he couldn’t keep his moans to himself anymore.

“Oh, f-fuck,” he whimpered, thrusting into your mouth gently. “Fuck. That—that feels so fucking good, baby. Yes baby, yes baby, yes.”

You moaned around the shaft, eliciting more obscenities from him. Your mouth was so full even though you hadn’t taken all of him. Your cheeks hollowed around him, creating a tighter vessel for him to fuck while you stroked whatever you couldn’t fit.

His face contorted with the anguish of not wanting to finish yet, but he couldn’t stop now, could he?

Maybe if I just get a little closer—just a little.

So lost in the pleasure, he felt the start of his climax rise causing him to gently pull you off of him.

A single streak of his cum shot onto your cheek. You flinched but laughed endearingly, helping his ego feel better about it.

“Fuck. Sorry.” His chest heaved with his mouth dry from his heavy breathing as you assured him it was okay.

He took a moment to gather himself before sitting up and wiping his cum from your face. You grabbed his wrist before he got the chance to wipe it clean; you impulsively sucked the milky release before swallowing it shamelessly.

Joel’s eyes were glossy and low. He could watch you lick up his cum for hours if you wanted to. You looked so sweet on the outside but inside you were dark, full of a lust that was forever unfulfilled by previous boyfriends.

Sometimes you wondered if you even knew what you want sexually, yet Joel was able to just read you and provide.

“You’re such a good girl for me," he asked with a devious smile, "aren't you?"

“Anything for you, Joel.”

Chuckling, he picked you up effortlessly and sat you on his stomach while he laid on his back.

“Use me,” he begged.

You blushed. “What do you mean?”

“You said your last boyfriend didn’t do the things you needed him to,” he explained, “so use me. Fuck me however you want. And I’ll fuck you however you need me to. Be as rough as you want. As mean as you want. Ride me, ride my face—I don—I don’t care. I just need you. Need you s’fucking bad.”

You saw in his eyes desperation, and it made your head spin. A man so brute and strong like Joel begging to be your fuck toy was a sight for your sore eyes.

You adjusted your body and carefully lined his cock up with your sopping entrance; he felt rewarded when your puffy walls clung to him. The stretching of your pussy burned deliciously inside of you.

You sat there for a moment. Not to get adjusted to his fat cock, but to just feel him. Feel him twitch and jerk, aching to pump you full of his seed.

You circled your hips slowly feeling his head bump against your g-spot. Your fingers pressed into his chest and you started to ride the slight curve of his shaft.

“Oh, my God. Joel,” you cried out, feeling how his cock stuffed you perfectly each time you rode down.

“That feel good, baby?”

As your eyelashes fluttered shut, you were pathetically nodding and reaching up to play with one of your breasts. “Yes,” you moaned.

With thick hands wrapped loosely around your waist and eyes fixated on you, Joel was under your spell. He loved being used by you. Submitting.

You appreciated the control he gave you over his body. He was of free use just for you, and you grew tired of being afraid of that. You fucked him however you wanted, just like he had asked, finding the inconsistencies of your movements titillating.

His long fingers drew random patterns around your back, adding intimacy to the connection. He looked so breathtaking beneath your tantalized body. His eyebrows furrowed into a pout that made your heart melt for him, and his pursed lips cooed out little praises.

"Yes," he whimpered, softly thrusting into you as you went down to create the perfect rhythm. "Yes, yes, yes," he continued. "Darlin', you're doing so good for me, yes."

"You feel so good," you moaned. "Your cock is so fucking big."

"You take it so well, baby girl. Ahh—fu… You're doin' so good f'me."

You leaned down to kiss his wet lips, moans pouring from you. "S'it feel good?"

"Yes, baby. Fuck yes, you feel so fucking good. Don't s-stop."

You gasped and twisted your nipple between your fingertips, feeling an ungodly amount of your precum seep between your bodies. A bundle of pleasure twinged in the pit of your stomach, making your hips stutter and mess up the rhythm.

“I’m gonna cum, Joel—oh, fuuck. I’m gonna cum,” you said in a hushed voice.

You felt his hands smooth over your ass, and he began thrusting into you a bit more forcefully, encouraging you to finish.

A calamity overtook you; your climax was full of distress and violence. You had never screamed so loud before. Your orgasm worked against you, releasing itself into the darkest corners of your body.

You felt it everywhere. Your toes curled. Your elbows locked. Your fingers went numb. Your neck warmed. Every inch of your body felt haunted by the orgasm you felt yourself fighting. Joel fucking lived for it.

You were a fucking mess above him and he couldn’t stop himself from overstimulating you. He held you still in his strong arms and pounded into you ruthlessly, with no care in the world for how loud you were.

You loved how it overpowered you, intensifying as Joel determined to make it last longer. It felt like an eternity. Your chest shook from your blubbers, your body full of amnesia of reality.

He intently watched you, waiting for it to become too much. Your eyes welled up with tears and your face hurt from how contorted it had become. It wasn’t until you took a big breath in that he slowed down causing you to collapse atop his chest.

Joel held you close, grazing his fingers over your back and arms to soothe you as you came down from your high. All he wanted to do was to feel good with you and make sure you were satisfied.

You lifted your flushed face from the crook of his neck to give him a passionate kiss; he hummed against your warm lips, bringing a hand up to hold your face so he could deepen the connection.

He slowly rolled your body over until he was on top of you. Your hands slid along his broad shoulders whilst he erratically pushed his pants down, kicking them to the floor afterward. You pulled at the hem of his shirt and helped him remove it.

He slipped back inside of you as he stayed on his knees, getting the perfect view of your alluring frame. Your makeup had begun to fade away, and mascara scattered around your eyes. Your hair was messily laid around your head and your eyes were heavy with fatigue.

“Your so beautiful,” he said before reaching to pinch your cheeks in his big hand to slightly embarrass you, “you’re such a fucking mess already.”

You grabbed his hand, snatching it from your cheeks and pushing it away; you sat up enough to grab a hold of his neck, bringing his face closer to yours as a dangerous looked filled your eyes. You dug your legs into his thighs to push his length deeper inside of you, it caught him by surprise.

“Thought you said I was in control, huh,” you whispered. Joel instantly pouted, the pathetic look on his face fueled your desire to domesticate him.

“Y-you—yes, yes,” he weakly responded. “Yes. You a—you are in control.”

You gave him a soft kiss despite your tough demeanor to help calm him. “Good boy,” you praised, tightening your grip. He thanked you and started to move his halted hips again, this time with purpose and force.

Your hardened expression cracked, faltering into a look of bliss and thankfulness. His skin clapped against yours as you felt his balls swinging against your ass with every thrust.

The moans spilling between your lips was music to Joel’s ears; he felt the swollen head of his cock breech even deeper inside of you after you hung your legs around his hips. Your walls fluttered around his pulsating cock making your cunt feel tighter.

Combining that with your tight grip around his neck? Fuck. He wanted to cum so badly—

“Shit!” He shouted as he pulled out, not wanting this to end so soon.

You laughed at him more teasingly this time and let his neck go, using your legs to push him back inside with no effort.

He tried thrusting more slowly this time, but his body was just begging for release. He pulled out again and attempted to take a breather. You weren’t having it.

You pushed him into saint position and held his face firmly to make him look you in the eyes as you started to bounce on him.

“Baby,” he said, feeling the rise of his climax slowly build again, “I don’t wanna stop yet.”

“Your cock belongs to me,” you told him; he promptly agreed. “That means I do whatever I fucking want to. You’re gonna cum for me and let me keep fucking you.”

His eyes rolled back and his let out a moan of both desperation and relief. “Yes,” he whimpered, eagerly nodding his dazed head, “yes. My cock belongs to you. Only you—fuck—no one’s ever made me feel as good as you.”

You moaned in response, knowing you no longer needed to scold him.

He was so fucking thick. Not even all of your slick could help get used to his size. Your skin clung to his from the faint sweat coating both of your bodies. Your tits bounced against his toned chest stimulating your nipples, adding to the earth-shattering pleasure.

His breathing was shallow while he tried to hold off as long as possible. He then figured if he rubbed your clit you might be able to finish again with him.

You jolted when his thumb rubbed erratic loops around your clit, soon enough feeling your climax build again. And though it was not as powerful it hit you so much more quickly.

“Can you cum for me?” You asked nicely. “Fuck, I’m gonna cu—“ Your own gasps cut you off as you heard Joel say he was going to finish with you.

His forehead fell onto yours as the pressure finally exploded inside of you. Your body insisted on continuing to fuck him, your cunt pushing and pulling at his shaft as if you were trying to squeeze his cum out yourself. He painted your walls with his hot white load, filling you up even more as if you weren't full enough.

He held you tight and leaned his head onto your shoulders so that your shivering legs wouldn’t completely give out.

All of a sudden Joel grew an urge to eat you out before his cum spilled out.

He tossed you onto your back and got down on his stomach, barely letting you breathe before his tongue covered your throbbing hole.

You cried out his name shamelessly, feeling his tongue curl up inside of you. He watched you arch your back and grab at the sheets with your head thrown back and mouth opened.

At first, he only tasted your tangy cum as it lay thick and heavy on his tongue. But after a short while, he tasted was he could only presume to be himself. The taste was mostly brine, but a little sweet, and permeated along his tastebuds. He couldn’t get enough of how good the two of you tasted together.

He devoured every last drop he could manage before pulling away from you, feeling how hard his he still was. He wanted to make up for finishing so soon.

You wanted to come down—you were so fucking wore out. But you felt Joel twist you around onto your stomach and lift your hips up before shoving his cock back inside of you.

You groaned at the stretch feeling stronger than before, clawing at the bedsheets as he wasted no time to fuck you again. His hips clapped against your ass when his hands pushed into your waist, deepening your arch.

He would slowly pull back to where his beaming cockhead was only inside of you, then he'd thrust strong enough to make your body bounce a little on the springy mattress. He fucked you slow but hard, wanting you to feel every inch of him.

“Fuck! Yes, Joel!” You shouted.

“Like that, baby? Hmm?” He spanked you when you didn’t answer.

“Fuck, yes, you’re so good to me!”

Your moans turned into whines from the brute force of his body. Tears danced along your eyes as your pussy ached with overstimulation and rapture.

“My cock belongs to you? Hmm?” He said indignantly. He was already yours. He belonged to you. He just wanted to hear you say it again.

You moaned lustfully when he started going fast enough to make his balls hit your clit. He reached to grab your neck and beckoned you to get on your hands as well, keeping the grip loose enough for you to breathe.

“Yes, Joel, your fucking cock belongs to me," your voice was lame as you tried to regulate your breathing. Your sore pussy yearned again, asking for relief just once more. “Give it to me, please, give it to me.”

He looked at his dick thrust in and out of you, groaning at the smooth ring of your cum wrapped around the base of his shaft.

“You wanna cum again?” He asked. You begged and pleaded and cried for him to keep going.

He didn’t even try to comprehend when another orgasm was building for him. He ignored the anguish the second climax was bringing him, even if it was becoming too painful to bear. He didn’t care enough. He just wanted to keep listening to those pretty sounds you were making.

He never had an experience come close to this one. To being with you. Never imagined doing something as dirty as tasting his own cum, let alone after releasing it inside of his partner. And then to cum twice in the span of a few minutes? He knew then and there that no one would be able to satisfy him like you.

“I’m cumming, I’m cumming!” You moaned in a high pitch that Joel thought was cute; your back arched and tensed, your whole body shaking with a third orgasm that felt instinctual. Your eyes filled with stars and you were lightheaded.

He let himself feel every aspect of his orgasm once the pain left his body. It was warm and made him a little hazy; he was so overwhelmed with euphoria that he could hardly react to it. He was persistent in finishing you both off with sloppy thrusts as he whispered sweet praises to you about how good you felt.

Your body collapsed making Joel’s dick slip out of you; he rested next to you once you laid on your side and put his arm around your head. You lay there in a bittersweet silence for a few minutes, savoring the sound of each other’s breathing and sleepy hums.

“I’m so tired now,” you lazily said.

Joel chuckled and pulled the blanket up to cover you. “Go to sleep, baby.”

“I don’t wanna,” you said tiredly; he chuckled again and kissed your head, wishing that this wasn’t casual. “Was it good for you?” You asked after looking up at him, the craving for sleep evident in your pretty eyes.

He couldn’t put into words how at peace he felt right now. He was tired too. “Yes, sweetheart.”

“I wasn’t too mean, was I?” You worried.

“No, baby,” he cooed, stroking your head. “You were perfect.” The way he said it ensured you it was the truth.

“I was perfect?” You giggled.

“Mm-hmm,” he hummed. “We should go out some night. Have a little fun."

"Joel Miller, r'you asking me on a date?"

"It ain't gotta be," he answered.

You giggled again and curled into his body some more. "Sure, Joel. Take me out to a bar so I can dance on sleazy men in cowboy hats to make you jealous."

He laughed, "You love makin' stories up, don't you?"

"It won't be a story for long."

-

Read part 3 here.

🏷️ @paleidiot @sarap-77 @mmeerraa @ssweetart42

[nailgunstigmata]

i couldnt fall asleep and spent the last few hours watching tiktoks of people pretending to be wolves so i probably cant articulate this well rn but i think theres something deeply sad about how much of not just fandom but life in general is done with ironic detachment nowadays. a kind of plausible deniability of feeling anything at all. and i catch myself doing this too!! its just a lot easier to not be vulnerable and earnest online. baring ur soul in front of anyone is terrifying because ur always giving them the opportunity to hurt u when u do it

like even with this post a part of my brain is going ok its not that deep omg but like. maybe it is that deep. maybe the things we do and say and the way we navigate the world matters even in an online space about a sitcom. maybe everything can have meaning and we should be careful of what we are saying and listen to other people and try to be nice to each other because theres already plenty of cruelty in the world

and again i have the internet socialised part of my brain screaming at me that this is cringe and nobody cares but again thats stupid. like thats stupid. nobody is being held at gunpoint to read my dumb rambles and if people mock my words thats their personal failure and not mine. u just have to kinda not listen and be earnest anyways and be comforted by the fact that this mindset of self denial isnt healthy for anyone. u cant be detached and happy those two things are mutually exclusive and irony is a thing that can genuinely poison you. like im speaking from experience i literally have the same kind of brainrot and i think that most people have it, especially gen z since we grew up on the internet and started curating the way people perceive us online way too soon. like yeah theres a point where u only know the self that exists to be perceived and that sucks i think.

mocking others vulnerability is fun and safe but it cant make you happy. the only thing that can is being genuine and open and vulnerable. its scary but its the only way. what im trying to say is that the live laugh love girlies were kinda onto something (minus the christian fundamentalism) and we are gradually spiraling into a world in which nothing is real and everything is a commodity and the only way to save ur soul is to be genuine and earnest with people u love and with the world in general. lets cling to our humanity as capitalism alienates us and keeps us trapped in a perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction so we can consume and be consumed forever and ever while giving just enough to keep the engine pumping. im not saying that actively trying to be earnest is the antidote for capitalism but i do think it helps salvage our humanity. and i do think its the only way to be happy

[swanmaids]

Hi, I was just wondering if you have any Findis and/or Lalwen headcanons if you'd like to share :)?

Ooh good question. Honestly I kind of feel bad because I don’t really think about these two all that much? Like I have a few thoughts but not many. I'd have more thoughts if Jirt had done more with their characters! But, anyway...

Findis interests me as an eldest royal daughter in a patriarchal society that practices male primogeniture. I'm sure it was clear to her pretty much all her life that her father favoured Feanor, but she may have been able to justify that as being down to his mother's death. But after Fingolfin was born -- how long did it take for her to realise that they would never be truly equals? This unfairness is why I headcanon her as favouring the vanyarin side of her heritage -- she turns to piety and religion as an escape. Perhaps the vanyar have some sort of priestess system that allows her to gain some power there. For some reason, I imagine Findis' religious duties as similar to a Vestal Virgin (though minus the burials....) maybe she's especially devoted to Este?

Despite everything, she never stopped loving her parents and wanting their approval and to do right by them, which is why she stays with her mother during the flight of the Noldor. I think there's a part of her that never forgives her siblings for (in her eyes) "abandoning" Indis.

Lalwen... unfortunately I have more thoughts about my lady's maid oc for her than I do for Lalwen herself :( sorry girlie

I do think it’s interesting that Fingolfin and Lalwen are canonically close, I like that. I imagine she was a comfort to him during the unrest of the Noldor (I imagine they become close as adults when Feanor was exiled) and crossing the Ice. Was she aware of how much Nolo needed her and did that ever become a burden on her? Quite possibly, and I'm not sure who she would have gone to in order to relieve that. I do think that she and Aredhel could have been close, and probably Elenwe too - maybe she was one of the people to be most affected by Elenwe's death. I think Lalwen was also a fighter, and died fighting in the fall of Hithlum in the Nirnaeth.

Since I mentioned canon patriarchy, maybe part of Lalwen's motivation for leaving Aman was a hope that Beleriand would be more egalitarian.

I've noticed that lesbian Lalwen hcs are pretty common and I think I agree! I think she had a fair few lovers and some long-term girlfriends in Beleriand, but had no serious romantic relationships. Her major love was her maid Morniel, but she was aware that Morniel did not reciprocate, so she never acted on it.

You didn't ask about her, but after being a Faniel denialist for the longest time, I might now be a Faniel truther after reading this headcanon of her being born after Finwe followed Feanor into exile and due to mutual parental stubbornness, never meeting her father. That's sooooo juicy I love it.

[justanisabelakinnie]

What characters do you headcanon as lesbians? Not just for Encanto, but all your fandoms!

I'm glad you asked me, friend!

Hmm...let's see...there's Isabela and Luisa in this fandom, we all know that already.

But besides them, my favorite lesbian headcanon would have to be Ty Lee from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Each of her interactions with boys just screams comphet, especially the nameless bums on the beach! And she has much better chemistry with Azula and Mai, and--look, regardless of what you think of either the Tyzula or Mailee ship(I am okay with both), you gotta admit that Ty Lee having feelings for either of the two ladies is infinitely more believable than her having feelings for a boy. Especially since she reminds me very strongly of myself: we are both bubbly, girly, pink-loving, and friendly with people we are close to, and often dismissed and not taken seriously, yet tougher and cleverer than we look. Her interactions with both genders reminds me of my own struggle with comphet and grapple to come to terms with my lesbian identity, it all reads as incredibly lesbian to me, to the point where I feel uncomfortable(if not personally attacked) when I see her in m/f ships. And with how widespread femme erasure is, Ty Lee being a proud femme lesbian would be awesome rep to have! but the show's over so 😥 but oh well, I can still have it as a hc, it gives me comfort all the same!

From the same fandom is Azula. For much of the same reasons as Ty Lee, except her comphet would be even stronger. but once she gets over it and undergoes a redemption arc I can see her and Ty Lee being an incredibly loving power couple together lol.

Anyway, I also hc Misa Amane as a lesbian, a hc which is only strengthened by this post.

I also hc Sonia Nevermind and Chiaki Nanami from Danganronpa as lesbians bc I ship them and they're way too pretty and femme to get with boys hahahahhahahha~!

Also, Queen Elsa, obvi!

Also from Disney, Charlotte la Bouff definitely had a thing for Tiana and only thought she wanted the prince because it's a "required" part of the fairytale dream and I will not be convinced otherwise. In the sequel it will turn out that Naveen has a pretty sister or female cousin whom Charlotte will marry so that she and Tiana can be sisters/cousins-in-law and both have their princess dreams!!!

And for live-action movies there's Regina George from Mean Girls(this one doesn't even need explaining, it's literally the same as miss pyromaniac princess above but without the abusive dad lol), Jennifer Check from Jennifer's Body.

All the Vocaloid girls minus a select few are lesbians because I say so.

Also from the mha fandom: Mina/Jirou/Tsuyu are a poly lesbian couple, perhaps a qpr since Mina is canonically cupioromantic and I'd hate to take that away from her.

And finally, Annabeth Chase.

I think that's it for now, I def have more that I can't remember bc it's too much to add here lol. Maybe I'll put them in another post for my lesbian/sapphic ships in general.

Anyway thanks for asking because I love to ramble about my lesbian ships/hcs/stories and ideas! Take care!

[fancy-a-dance-brigadier]

For the fic writer ask: ✨🌿🦋🕯️💎

Thank you for the ask friend! These are great questions

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

Ohh this is a good question! I’d have to say my three Troisha fics for this one - “Your Light on the Horizon”, “A Different Kind of Human”, and “Resting Place”. There’s just something about Troisha that makes me write better idk. I’m just very proud of these three fics, and there’s a selfish part of me that wishes they got more attention 🙈 (I also think I might rewrite some of my older Dr Who fics at some point, because I think my writing has improved a lot since I first wrote them! So I guess that counts as breathing new life into a fic too)

🌿how does creating make you feel?

Plain and simple, it just makes me feel good. I like being able to play with words and themes and concepts and characters - it gives my English academic literary brain a lot of satisfaction. Especially when I’m putting theory into practice, if that makes sense.

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

I guess the fact that I mostly write for rare pairs could count as an insecurity? I worry that nobody will read or care about my rare pair fics just because there’s less of an audience for them. But then again, my brief escapade into writing for a popular pairing resulted in a fair few fics that I’m not that proud of anymore, while I’m generally pleased with the quality of all my rare pair fics. So maybe there’s nothing to worry about after all.

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

I’ve got to say my two big DS9 multi-chapters for this one, “Springtime on Jupiter” and “Say You’ll Stay With Me”. They weren’t hard to write necessarily, but they definitely went in directions I didn’t expect! I think I’ve mentioned this before, but SOJ is, on a metatextual level, the story of me falling out of love with Garashir as a pairing - it began as a run of the mill Garashir fic, but as I wrote it ended up going to a much weirder, darker place that explores the issues surrounding that pairing. I certainly wasn’t expecting it to go in that direction when I first started writing it! It’s a bit similar with SYSWM, minus the falling out of love with the main pairing part (because I am and always will be a total siskoshir girlie) but more that it went in a much darker direction than I planned. I went into it thinking it would be just a fluffy siskoshir retelling of ‘Pretty Woman’ but oops I dropped angst all over it my bad!!!!

💎 why is writing important to you?

Ok this is going to sound kind of selfish, but writing is important to me because it reminds me that there is something I’m actually pretty good at. It genuinely helps my self-esteem to know that my favourite hobby is something I can do reasonably well. I know the general message we try to encourage on tumblr is that you should feel free to create things and take joy in them even if you aren’t good at them, but I can’t help it - I like being good at things, and I feel better doing what I’m good at than what I’m not. I’m no great athlete or musician or artist, but at the very least I can write some damn good gay fan fiction etc etc

[the-november-system]

Hello, I’m M, and hello to our blog.

This is for our system. We have recently been diagnosed with DID. we have very little understanding of official terms and things because of this. We’re still learning about what being a system is. Please don’t treat us poorly for this reason.

I (M speaking) , am the host.

This blog is just a place for me and everyone else to hang out and feel like we can share social media together and stuff without secrets. This is a part of myself nobody else knows about and we all intend to keep it that way. This is anonymous for that reason.

Below are bio’s for all of us. Everyone at this time wanted to be included. They wrote their own descriptions (minus click who doesn’t like to really talk, I wrote it for them.)

M: Main host, does a majority of the fronting. I am usually gonna be the one responding and doing things.

Pronouns: They/Them

Likes: Tea, drawing, Crochet, transformers

Dislikes: Flying bugs, overstimulation, confrontation

Niki: Hello, I am Niki :-) I'm the oldest individual within the system. I don't really front by myself, but I will do so from time to time. M tells me that I appear as a Guardian Angel to others, but I see myself more as just an assistant than something so grand. M seemed excited to have us all write down this Bio, so i was happy to do so. Thank you for reading.

Pronouns: He/Him

Likes: vintage aesthetics, naps, asmr, meditation

Dislikes: Maybe long work days? The others seem stressed by those which of course worries me.

Winslow: Hello everyone! The name’s Winslow, I'm not quite sure what to put here, so i guess i’ll just describe my interests? I'm super into dad rock, and love to have jam sessions while I clean and stuff. I'm also a sucker for Cozy games. The others find it funny that a tough guy like me enjoys some animal crossing, but hey, this guy knows what he likes! I'm also a lover of customization, pins, patches, piercings, ect. If I can make myself stand out I would like to do it! I aint livin my life as the color beige.

Pronouns: He/Him

Likes: Animal Crossing, Stardew Valley, patches and pins and stickers

Dislikes: idiots on the road, hypocrites

Note: Winslow is proudly trans, FTM.

Click: Click is almost entirely non-talking. For the longest time, Click was very protective of their form, not showing themselves to anybody, but recently they drew themselves as a cloaked clown. Click communicates through noises, flapping, and only when necessary, speaking. They are able to, but it causes great discomfort. Click is able to clean and do tasks, but generally only enjoys fronting when alone. They’re very shy. Click commonly fronts when I need a break, and is great at self -care and soothing everyone else, however, they do struggle to soothe themself.

Pronouns: They/Them, or just refer to them by their name

Likes: colorful object, stim toys, liminal spaces, exploration, ambient music

Dislikes: speaking, loud sounds

Note: Click does want to be included in this, there is always a possibility they will want to be removed, but as of right now they were excited and enthusiastic on being included.

Melody: hi!!! I’m melody✨💕 I am a lover of all things pink, i'm a bit of a y2k girlie but i also like other stuff as well, i'm also super into Crochet like M, and i've been making such cute stuff and it's making me so dang happy! Ooh and i also like Godzilla, a weird one but I’m not gonna let someone stop me 💁‍♀️

Pronouns: She/Her

Likes: Godzilla, Pink, Space, Crochet

Dislikes: Looking like a man

Flora: Hello, I'm flora 🌼 im kind of new to the system, but am happy to be here. I am a lover of nature, and am a spiritual person, believing in nature and its many gifts. I'm an eclectic witch (Me and M share this trait.), though we’re both new to this path. I will admit i'm a bit shy, but would love to try and be a bit more adventurous so feel free to say hello :)

Pronouns: She/ They

Likes: Flowers, green, the beach, candles

Dislikes: Catholicism/ Christianity (it's not necessarily a trigger but i don't like to talk about this, thank you :) ), Soda

Timothy: Sup I'm Tim. I don't get to be on here a lot because I'm not as “pretty” on paper as the others, so I'm honestly kinda surprised I was allowed to write this but whatever. I'm into horror movies and Metal music. I like hoodies too, my favorite color’s are blue and red. I also enjoy taking walks, I can be a bit of a hothead so it's nice to take a walk and get some fresh air.

Yeah I'm not that interested, but thanks for reading.

Pronouns: He/Him

Likes: Horror movies, Metal music, poetry, walks

Dislikes: Assholes

Thank you for reading everything!

[duckmine]

Any headcanons for the belcher family? or any other characters u like

-i firmly feel as though jimmy junior is actually anti-social or has social anxiety. seeing him interact with anyone outside the main group is always the most awkward thing ever lol and i just feel like the reason he lacks as much confidence is because of his father and maybe the lack of a mother figure as well. that’s why he gravitates so much towards zeke and tina because they praise him so much and feed his ego but also genuinely care about him. and also why jimmy jr. isn’t really actual friends with anyone except for zeke, i honestly don’t think he likes tammy and jocelyn that much. maybe tolerate jocelyn since he knew her for longer than tammy but after tammy jocelyn just became her follower and jimmy jr. just didn’t care for it.

-this is a little more specific but i lowkey headcanon tammy as bi with a slight repressed crush on tina. i know it’s cliche to say every bully secretly likes their target but unfortunately that was a very common concept i grew up watching and enjoying and i am a absolutely a sucker for that trope. but i also just favor tina and i want everyone to like her DHSJSB.

-i do headcanon that tammy and tina take a better path in friendship around high school. they’ll probably be in different friend groups but because they went to the same middle school and are more familiar with each other they develop a deeper kinship in that regard. maybe they even rebel for another night in dedication to their first meeting.

-i do headcanon tina to be completely straight tho. i also understand the idea behind her being trans but at the same time i liked that the show was unique for having both female and male voice actors for female characters regardless of sex so because of that tina is actually cis in my eyes but i like seeing everyone else’s headcanons that may differ to mine.

-i think jocelyn might be trans tho. i know that just curved from what i said but jocelyn to me seems like she’d come from an actually pretty accepting and even loving family considering her lighthearted and breezy nature and her honesty cute relationship with her mom so it wouldn’t surprised me if she potentially suggested as a kid that she preferred more feminine clothing and other associations of sorts.

-louise definitely screams “on the nonbinary + demi-ace/aro spectrum” to me with like a preference in girls and an exception to rudy. there’s so many things queer about this girl to me fhskhdks.

-louise also definitely looks up to tina but will not say SHIT about it, you can catch her dead 50 ft below the ground admitting it. i know she technically said tina was her hero in the two parter episode of season 12 but that was because tina was gonna smash something but no, louise like GENUINELY looks up to tina. tina has an exceeding level of strength compared to her (but also tbf louise you’re like, nine), tina can be just as snarky as louise when given the chance and also tina has helped louise in her most confusing times because in all the girly, sappy stuff that louise just can’t handle, tina can and she’d help her get through it in a heartbeat because tina is her older sister. also, i’m sure louise enjoys tina’s stories.. minus the raunchy parts. she definitely considers tina an exceptional writer (for age 13 i guess) and the diverse genres that tina will incorporate into her writing is probably very entertaining for louise. because tina is not afraid to get rough and gorey, or action-packed and silly (i’d imagine).

-tina gives gene and louise hugs and kisses because i fucking said so she is an affectionate and HAPPY sister and no matter how much they squirm they definitely appreciate it!

-i semi-headcanon bob and linda as T4T. not fully because i don’t automatically see them as such but i can definitely see why others do and enjoy the headcanon myself. otherwise i firmly believe bob is bi and linda if not trans is at least an ally or somewhat heteroflexible because honestly. it’s linda.

-jimmy pesto sr. still calls jimmy jr. pepper i don’t care he just has to.

-jimmy jr. won’t say it but he really does cherish his younger brothers. even tho they don’t always understand each other or bond as well together jimmy jr would defend them in a heartbeat if he could. in high school he eventually tries ti get closer to them and they become almost as inseparable as the belcher kids.

-andy and ollie start to become more easily differentiated through personality as they get older. ollie remains bubbly and naive while andy is a bit more tentative and skeptical. ollie is also probably one of those “hidden genius” types where he’s typically known to be airheaded until he starts spouting the most profound shit and everyone is shocked. andy on the other hand is more of the look out and tries to protect ollie as if he was the oldest brother. he also gains a sarcastic form of humor and definitely gets it from louise which bugs her for sure lol.

-i headcanon millie frock as a lesbian. not strictly because of louise but she just gives off femme lesbian vibes idk.

anyways those are some of the other headcanons i have that i can remember off the top of my head 😅.

[thecoloroute]

Art Deep Dive: Ines J.

Words cannot truly express how I feel about this artist! but i will try.

I discovered Ines J. on instagram where they go by the handle @a.creature (ive linked her direct instagram to this @ so it will not take you to a tumblr account of theirs, not sure if they have one but i will check and edit this after typing everything up if so!).

From what i've gathered, Ines is a very multifaceted artist that incorporates their work into a variety of mediums and trinkets. Im going to highlight some of the recent works of theirs that I'm absolutely obsessed with. to be honest, they're all fantastic though so i would definitely recommend checking their page out and getting lost in a surrealist paradise of wonky doodles.

my thoughts on the pieces are going to be in bullet form so bear with me.

bodies, demons, faces, morphed creatures, morphed selves

stickers, commercial, industrialized, contrasting organic lines

organic shapes resembling body parts, intestines

bright color unnatural to regular body tones, for emphasis? (or personal taste which is what id do for color choice)

the beautiful inclusions of black imagery, woman on top left is my favorite she looks so haunted and her hair reminds me of myself on a rough morning

"on & on" speaks to works theme of chaos and continuing on despite it, like me during those said mornings

unraveling in a sense

god! beautiful color choices just IMMACULATE

THE FACE ON THE LEFT? THE CONTRAST OF THE BLUE WITH THE ORange??? Ines!!!!!!!!!!!!!! great job

different features, organic material

text adds to juxtaposition of natural vs. unnatural which is a common theme

Wednesdays do feel yellow. sometimes being human is about being alive to hear/see observations like this

i am guilty of throwing checker patterns in lots of spots on my art, love the teal checker pantsuit here it fuels my soul

red, anger, angst, sex, sexuality

large dominant figure is not happy, and contrasts to the abundance of color around, could signify a void or lack of emotion, creativity, maybe even happiness

this drawing reminds me of how it feels to scroll through instagram on a bad mental health day while it seems like everyone else is living their best lives while i occasionally rot

reminds me of something similar i said to the man i currently am infatuated with, minus the airplane part

"oh what can you do!" this is how i feel about him lol. the black and lime green image of the two people also reminds me of him

i wonder if this piece is based on a lover... probably

tears, unfinished boxes, distance that is most likely unwanted, lack of memory

when those things fade we will do our best to capture things creatively like this in art as a shrine for the emotions we feel and have felt but ultimately have to let go of

drawings like this break my mf heart (cause they remind me of when i was mf heartbroken lol)

and ykno what yes to the green head on top right corner, everyone has their own interpretation but that makes me think ya love can actually make you lovesick and that is how id mentally draw myself with the green worm sliming out and all bc sometimes thats how it feels out here

more tears i see:(

one of my favorites that i've seen so far honestly?

this image reminds me of myself and im sure a lot of women feel the same

colorful blobs at the top, bubbles of experiences, memories that have passed, things that make you who you are, and the shapes get more specific and thought out in terms of painted construction as you near the woman (red star, blue circle, black teardrop, etc).

delicate nature of the wispy but sharp surroundings behind her, like a girly, cosmic barbed wire (luv it)

pink and overall colors mentioned before contrasts with the deep blue and black used to illustrate her, somber colors and face expression, head down

the vibrant red flower seems to be the focal point, most vivid spot in terms of color

to me symbolizes a feminine rage because it is so big, red and bright that it is something which naturally demands to be seen

her demeanor is the exact opposite, like a woman in society trying not to seem out of line even though she has every right to be upset

cultivating the flower, knowing when to let certain emotions bloom?

possibly being tired from not being able to let certain emotions bloom

okay thats all for tonight everybody. i know ive been saying that i'd do this for a while but adult life can get so hectic. Also i wanted to wait till i found someone i really enjoyed so i wouldnt get writers block halfway through this blog post. here's to ines j. for being a super dope artist!

[noodlesandpanic]

♡ Just another day playing blogger girl simulator: ♡

Woke up like an hour ago and made a gluten free brekky sandwhich with an over-medium ish egg :s and some guac and it was soooo good. Minus the gf bread. I've only had one kind of good gluten free bread and it was from Sprout's, and even more expensive than usual lol. Now I listen to Kim Petras "Slut Pop" which makes my brain produce instant serotonin. I'm going to vacuum after a lil pink bloggy time, then get ready to see my boyfriend. I've had a super bad cold for like 3 days now, today is day 4 and I'm doing a lot better but still feeling coughy and congested.

I am beyond stressed about finances but I just have to trust that shit will come together just in time for March. I also have an interview for front desk at a massage place on Tuesday, I'm gonna have to work 2 part time jobs to make it by with school :c. I really want to work at the lash extension place the most though so I can get free extensions! Plus selling memberships for extensions is a million times easier than selling massage memberships, periodt.

My Latuda has been doing a really bad thing to my muscles, it's not quite as strong as the akathisia I experienced in the past with Abilify, but it's definitely still in that realm. I'm gonna stop taking dayquil/nyquil today and try it out with the full 40mg one last time to see if maybe the cold meds were causing it, or if it's just the medication itself taking full effect now. If so, I'll have to start splicing my pills down to take 20mg or 30mg because 40mg are the smallest pills I can get prescribed. I LOVE how it makes my brain feel, my body is just struggling a bit now.

Now I dance to my little girly pop spotify playlist which has lots of Gaga, Britney, Nelly Furtado etc and dance looking like an actual old sprouting potato. But it feels good to me, and no one can see me but maybe my ancestors so it's okay.

Also, I REALLY want to go to Disneyland ugh. Okay. I believe that's all I have to say now at this time. Thanks for tuning in or not, this blog is really just for me anyways.

Meow. (meaning "goodbye" in this context)

♡

[birdkujapropaganda]

my completely biased and official rating of every keyblade ever:

Kingdom Key: absolute classic. excellent design for the like, mascot keyblade. very simple, vaguely key shaped. i hate the mouse head though it's so stupid and makes no sense. and i hate mickey. 9/10 minus a point for the weird mickey keychain

Oathkeeper: wonderful. amazing. never boring. excellent design love the heart and wings and all the significance. and that the keychain is kairi's charm? terrific. 10/10

Oblivion: brilliant. awesome. phenomenal. again excellent design the wings and chains and purple crystal are absolutely perfect. love the crown keychain. 10/10

Ultima Weapon 1: literally just a sword with some filigree on it. nice. too much yellow and i don't like the weird cyan gradient on the guard. 7/10

Kingdom Key D: d for disgusting. i don't have any other comments i just hate it. 2/10

Keyblade of Hearts: yeah that sure is an anti-keyblade. love the simplicity and the heart in the negative space of the teeth. and that it doesn't have a keychain, that fueled a lot of theories for 12yo me 8/10

Lady Luck: i think i don't like this one bc to get it u need to use a white trinity but you can't do that until near the end and i have way cooler blades to use. the design is pretty ok, don't really get the card keychain tho. 5/10

Olympia: oh the sight of this one makes me irritated because the kh1 strategy guide uses this in one of the pictures for the fight against possessed riku. it did not help me win. and i hate short keyblades. love the clouds and columns though 7/10

Jungle King: kinda ugly but i appreciate that it looks kinda handmade. also like the butterfly keychain bc it doesn't look like it fits but it Does. also the first good alternate blade u get in the game so. 8/10

Three Wishes: not bad but it doesn't stick out to me either. also doesn't scream agrabah to me but also it does? 6/10

Pumpkinhead: NICE. very long and very cool. the teeth looks like bat wings and a pumpkin so very epic. 9/10

Wishing Star: so pointless i already have pumpkinhead. also short. cute design though i like the gears. 5/10

Crab Claw: i never used this one because it stuck out so ugly in Halloween Town </3 i love blue and crabs though so 8/10

Fairy Harp: I HATE YOU DIE. short and stupid. does NOT remind me of neverland at all. 1/10

Divine Rose: pretty nice but short and lategame. always thought its existence was kinda weird?? like thanks belle but why. i have oblivion. 7/10

Spellbinder: for some reason i really don't like it. i like blue and the circles are neat. the handle looks really painful though. 4/10

Metal Chocobo: kinda ugly lol. love the holes and chocobo keychain. 8/10

Lionheart: oh i am so biased by recoded. absolutely excellent keyblade. design's kind of weird tho where are those lions going. 9/10

Diamond Dust: so i was really confused because i thought this was khux-only or maybe bbs keyblade but apparently it's kh1 final mix only. you know what i got as a reward for fighting the ice titan? sephiroth. you know what i got for fighting sephiroth? NOTHING. it was my favorite khux blade though so grrrr 7/10

One-Winged Angel: grr bark bark final mix again fuck you. kinda weird design though like what is the teeth? a meteor? should've been a wing. nice guard though there's not enough hand room. excellent keychain obviously. 8/10

Ultima Weapon 2: very similar to the first but blue and symmetrical. very good learn from your mistakes. 9/10

Way to Dawn: YEAAAHHHHHHH BOY HERE IT IS PERFECT EXCELLENT GREAT DESIGN WONDERFUL LORE. HAS WINGS. THE EVOLUTION FROM SOUL EATER. THE LACK OF THORNS ON THE HEART. 10/10

Destiny's Embrace: very cute!! my favorite part is the name. i wish it wasn't so like. stereotypically girly though. like you look at the destiny trio's keyblades and can immediately pick out which one is The Girl's. 9/10

Star Seeker: i wanna hate it because it's mickey's/yen sid's but honestly it's so nice. the stars and moons and comets and gradients and colors... wonderful 9/10

Rumbling Rose: oof. weird and ugly and gross. keychain looks like a ladybug from far away. 3/10

Hero's Crest: bring the clouds back. i don't really get the design but i like columns. 5/10

Monochrome: super cute!! i don't like Timeless River but this fits it so well and has cute hit effect. 8/10

Mysterious Abyss: i always get this one way late in the game so it's always pretty pointless oops lol. also the design doesn't really say atlantica?? 3/10

Follow the Wind: another weird miss but i like this one more. nice wheel shaped guard, and that the keychain is a cursed coin. 6/10

Wishing Lamp: now THIS is the agrabah keyblade. very nice and elegant. looks like the palace! 7/10

Decisive Pumpkin: THIS ONE 😭😭 it's so ugly but it's so strong so i have to use it but it's so ugly. it does look like jack's idea of christmas so points i guess 😭 4/10

Circle of Life: also pretty ugly. and short. sorry simba. 3/10

Sweet Memories: shrek voice it doesn't even have attack. i don't like winnie the pooh so that's definitely influencing me. makes cute noises iirc and looks pretty cute. 4/10

Photon Debugger: this one should look pretty cool but my brain is saying it's bad. i think the giant red ball by the teeth are throwing me off. love the neon blue tho 5/10

Gull Wing: why the weird space in the name. anyway. i really want to love this keyblade bc i love X2 but it's really bad. i'm so sorry YRP kh did you so wrong. excellent keychain choice though. 2/10

Guardian's Soul: MUCH better thank you. auron my beloved <3 the lines are very appealing and i like how simple it appears. also looks like auron's swords. 8/10

Sleeping Lion: wayyy better than lionheart. looks kinda like a gunblade! again though what are those lions doing. 8/10

Fenrir: my car key got in a fight. 1/10

Bond of Flame: looks like a bad first draft of axel's keyblade. either the teeth or the guard should look like a chakram, pick one. love it though. 7/10

Two Become One: MY BELOVED <3 excellent design, so so so roxas i think he should use it. very excellent i love the little twist at the top. checkered handle is a little weird. 10/10

Fatal Crest: lol i was so mad when i first saw this because it looked like one of my oc's keyblades. i like it now though, it's a dragon!! pretty neat bro 8/10

Winner's Proof: oh this one is so cute. if it wasn't a reward it would be really weird and bad. surprisingly elegant! and there's even 13 mushrooms on it! 9/10

(shoutout to portadorx on deviantart for the 358 keyblade refs)

Missing Ache: YOU. interesting design, though it says roxas more than ventus to me. great first alt keyblade. 7/10

Ominous Blight: very edgy names in this game <3 looks like guardian's soul, which is interesting. i don't like yellow but it works bc blight 6/10

Abaddon Plasma: what a cool fucking name. so many yellow keyblades. but very cool looking i love roxas' aesthetic 8/10

Pain of Solitude: this is just pink missing ache. 8/10

Sign of Innocence: SO COOL. idk what's going on in most of these blades but i love it. 9/10

Crown of Guilt: come on. it doesn't look like a crown. big disappointment. very cool though 6/10

Abyssal Tide: so cool!! i love blue and fighting in midair <3 the teeth kinda looks like waves 8/10

Leviathan: weirdly furry looking. very cool guard 6/10

True Light's Flight: looks like two become one if it was only one. the top kinda looks like the nobody sigil 9/10

Rejection of Fate: SPEAR. epic name too, but i think it should swap names with true light's flight. very cool but i don't remember seeing it in name. kinda awkward bc it looks like it should be a spear 7/10

Midnight Roar: sooo cool. the orange handle pops without looking wrong... nice. also the teeth kinda look like a bat. 9/10

Glimpse of Darkness: ugly. weirdly bulky and hollow. short. 3/10

Total Eclipse: weirdly bumpy sword. i like how the orange looks like it glows. 5/10

Silent Dirge: GoD but purple. 2/10

Lunar Eclipse: TE but purple. 4/10

Darker than Dark: Hello 😳TLF but purple 10/10

Astral Blast: Abyssal Tide but yellow. interesting choice, but kinda clashes with the blue accents 7/10

Maverick Flare: Ominous Blight but red... excellent. very nice. 8/10

Twilight Blaze: Abaddon Plasma but red... also excellent. very epic. 9/10

Omega Weapon: props for not looking like any of the ultima weapons. very interesting and spiky but i kinda don't like it. 6/10

Aubade: kinda weird. "draws forth its wielder's personality"... ok. looks light elemented. 7/10

Wooden Stick: lol 10/10

Umbrella: not what i would've chosen but lol 10/10

Zero/One: WONDERFUL, EXCELLENT, AMAZING. i can't really explain why i love this one so much it's just very good. 10/10

Earthshaker: very solid design. not much to say it's just nice. love the colored guard. 7/10

Ends of the Earth: love that it is so clearly an earthshake upgrade. makes u realize how incomplete the first one is. 9/10

Dreadgnaw: kinda silly looking lol those are teeth. love the red bit in the center. looks very similar to earthshaker in a good way. 8/10

Chaos Ripper: looks like EotE but in a bad way. i don't like the weird teeth. it's also almost impractically long but i'm here for that. ALSO THE EYE. NICE. 7/10

Rainfell: oooo i love this it's so simple but so nice. very elegant 9/10

Stormfall: less nice. looks like a rainfell upgrade though. also kinda looks like master's defender which makes sense but i don't like it. 6/10

Brightcrest: GORGEOUS. PERFECT AND WONDERFUL. SO PRETTY. i wish it was kairi's. kinda looks to ornamental for aqua? but good for her. 10/10

Wayward Wind: none of ventus' blades look very ventusy to me. this one looks like an extra training one they had sitting around. cool shape though 5/10

Frolic Flame: NICE. looks like lea's frisbees! i like fire and fire designs so but it's a little awkward looking 8/10

Lost Memory: ok so first off WINGS. EXCELLENT. love that the only color is the heart. very cool and epic but i don't understand why it doesn't have a reverse grip handle. or the pointy bit at the tip. but still 10/10

Void Gear: hiii vanitas :) so anyway in my totally unbiased opinion this is the best keyblade ever obviously. love the gears and red accents and it's just super cool. the eyes and chains... vanitas character development keyblade when <3 10/10

Void Gear (White?): still very cool, love the simple contrast going on. 10/10

No Name: i didn't know this one was also called no name which is kinda lame. but i love the keyblade it's very cool. super glowy and i love the time design. 9/10

Crown Unlimit: I almost really like this one. very neat design, love the crowns and twists and glow. 7/10

Master's Defender: literally so plain and boring. i don't care if that's the point give it some frills. nice design though :/ 7/10

Broken Xblade: love the broken bits and the weird rust color. wish one of the kingdom keys was more broken and i think the top bit should be broken too. 7/10

Wooden Keyblade: sobbing and crying and tears. this is literally so cute and good and i love that it looks like Ends of the earth. or the kingdom key i guess. 10/10

Treasure Trove: i never expect to like this one but it's actually pretty nice :) wish the gems looked like they were spilling from the top and not leaking from the bottom. 8/10

Stroke of Midnight: also surprisingly nice! the guard kinda looks like a pumpkin which is cute. just a very cute design. 8/10

Fairy Stars: rad as hell. absolutely love this design very appealing. like how point the stars are. 9/10

Victory Line: i hate this one. maybe bc i don't like the world. kinda ugly and the teeth look awkward. 3/10

Mark of a Hero: ok we brought the clouds back but the weirdly buff trophy arm fucks this up. the blade is also just kind of a column, nothing going on there. 4/10

Hyperdrive: super cute!! love how the blade looks like laser fire and engine streams. the teeth are weird again though, and the handle looks like a bee 8/10

Pixie Petal: SO much better than fairy harp. this one is very cute and these teeth actually fit with the rest of the design. kinda short though >:/ 7/10

Sweetstack: oh this is so cute. a bunch of ice cream scoops!! why are the teeth oranges and what are some of those flavors. why are cones on the guard soft serve. 8/10

Ultima Weapon bbs: NICE. A SWORD WITH SOME FILIGREE BUT ALL IN BLUE. LOVE the wayfinders on it, very good for them. wish it wasn't just blue since it seems so aqua-centric but it looks nice soo 10/10

Skull Noise: LITERALLY SO PERFECT. THAT'S SO TWEWY. INCREDIBLE. the headphones and mr mew keychain... wonderful. only thing is that the name is kinda weird. like it makes sense but sounds weird. 10/10

Guardian Bell: i like it more than i think i would. elegant looking, and i love the gargoyles on it. hate the sentient gargoyles tho. 8/10

Dual Disk: VERY cool! looks like it has a reverse grip. the teeth are really cool and i love the bright blue. 9/10

Ferris Gear: eh. pretty cute but i think my pinocchio bias is acting up. the gears are nice, reminds me of wishing star. 5/10

Knockout Punch: SO COOL. really love the spikiness and colors and that the guard looks like the monkey. unfortunately for it, i don't like monkey. 8/10

All for One: the design's nice and it matches the world... but eh. 5/10

Counterpoint: so fun!! the violin guard is great, and the blade looks so cool. the teeth are a little awkward looking, it goes up too much. 9/10

Divewing: RAD!. just a sword with a heart on it and i love it. just so fucking cool. and the guard looks like a wing so 10/10

Sweet Dreams: so cute :) in love with the meow wow on top, but the teeth go up too much again. and i think there should be some komory wings on it. 7/10

Ultima Weapon DDD: NICE. almost identical to the kh1 blade, but blue and BETTER. the wings above the guard and the crown coming out of dream eater sigil... brilliant. 10/10

Unbound: not a hit 💔 just kinda weird and unfinished looking? and the lime green bit is off-putting. the hear at the top is nice. 2/10

End of Pain: ok mood shift hello. looks like it should be one of terra's evil blades. at first i was thrown off but looking closer it's so cool. the wings and eye at the top... the horns above the guard... the butterfly and gazing eye (buttereye) keychain... magnificent. the blade reminds me of x2 dark knight paine's sword. 10/10

Ocean Rage: looks pretty cool at first but the monstro mouth guard is literally horrifying i don't want to look at it anymore 1/10

YMX's keyblade: apparently has no name and is different than the one in bbs. nothing new really to say since it looks pretty similar but the goat head on top is super interesting. how much did No Name (luxu) influence young xehanort... 9/10

Mirage Split: absolutely perfect. i can't think of anything that isn't positive to say. the stained glass, the heart by the teeth, the thin lines, the gradient, wings, pointy, the keychain, literally all perfect. 10/10

Nightmare's End: also utterly perfect. i don't like yellow but it works here and looks great. the cyan gradient is startling but matches MS so i love it. all the colors in the stained glass are wonderful. 10/10

Starlight+: a little guady. but i love how the stars look like comets. the twisted blade looks neat too, but what's the point of the pointy bit on top. 7/10

Treasure Trove+: love that it looks golden and gem encrusted. very rich looking, but the cart is still leaking gems. 8/10

Lady Luck+: NOW the card thing makes more sense, i love how its incorporated throughout the design. more more interesting than the original. 9/10

Three Wishes+: looks like fire?? which is way cooler but why??? i like it more but where's the agrabah. 8/10

Olympia+: CLOUDS. like that zeus is in the clouds, but they took my columns. and the cyan handles are really weird. 7/10

Divine Rose+: excellent. what it should've been all along. the iridescenty guard is suuuper pretty and all the leaves and vines are great. 10/10

Moogle o' Glory: a lot happening here but i love smacking shit with a moogle head. there's so much happening and i don't really get it. 7/10

Fairy Stars+: i didn't know it could get better, the teeth is super cool looking but i wish the twisty blade was more visible. 9/10

Sleeping Lion+: love that it turns that metallic light blue color, very pretty. and the handle looks more like the gunblade! very nice looking and i used it a lot but the top is very weird. 9/10

Counterpoint+: let's take all the fun and exciting bits from the original and crANK IT UP TO ELEVEN. wait. stop. go back it's too much. very pretty still i love colors. 8/10

Fenrir+: my car key recovered from that fight. looks wayyy cooler and looks like ff7. hate the cyan glow though it feels weird. 6/10

Darkgnaw+: took me forever to find an image bc i keep calling it dreadgnaw. much cooler than the original, it looks like it's gonna bite you. the purple is also very nice. 9/10

Missing Ache+: POINTY. super cool but how does ventus twirl it around without poking himself. the colors are fun and it looks rad. 10/10

Diamond Dust+: i used this one the most <3 very pretty i love shades of blue and purple :) looks kinda icy but the top is weirdly flat. 9/10

Bad Guy Breaker: there's so much happening calm down 😭kinda nice but there's a lot to look at. also this world irritated me. 4/10

Gula's Keyblade: #leopardus4ever. as you can see, this keyblade is perfection. fun and spiky and lightningy. i think the whole blade should be lightning tho. 10/10

Aced's Keyblade: do any of these have names. anyway what a dreadgnaw ripoff 🙄 it suits him but guess what. i don't like him. 5/10

Ira's Keyblade: i don't like ira either but his blade is fucking great. love the teeth so much, and the colors. very pretty and cool 8/10

Invi's Keyblade: absolutely gorgeous. i love the flowing lines and little vines. love the colors and also it's super long. 9/10

Ava's Keyblade: girl this hurts to look at on a white background. very pretty though, i love how wispy and cloud-like it is. looks delicate which is great considering she'll kick anyone's ass. 8/10

No Name: unfortunately, this is absolutely wicked. look at it. it's wonderful. the goat head looks so much cooler than the other animal heads somehow, and i love the hollow center of the blade. and the teeth look like a claw, a little. just so fucking cool but i hate everyone who uses this. 10/10

Shooting Star: super pretty, i love how this one flows. i wish the blade went down to wrap around the guard though, instead of cutting off. 8/10

Hero's Origin: they took away my clouds again. i like that half of it is just. zeus. the lightning bolts are cool, but the handle and guard don't really match. 6/10

Favorite Deputy: you are not my favorite deputy fuck you. i don't like toy story but i do like cactuses. 3/10

Ever After: this one's nice :) the guard is super pretty, but i wish there was more going on with the blade. 7/10

Happy Gear: this one's kinda ugly but i like it soo. the energy canister guard is cute. 7/10

Crystal Snow: i hate it so much. it's boring and the keychain is olaf and i don't like frozen. 1/10

Hunny Spout: pretty cute :) the honey jars remind me of sweetstack. i like the wooden handle. 7/10

Wheel of Fate: cool as hell that's my boat. love that the blade looks like a mast that's so cool. wish it wasn't so gray though. 8/10

Nano Gear: ah, here's the color. i like everything except how the nanobots look at the top. it's just kinda gross. 7/10

Grand Chef: oh this is so cute. but why is remy the teeth. poor rat :( but it looks very nice i like how the Tower goes into the guard 8/10

Classic Tone: fuckyoufuckyoufuc. i hate this one. pretty ugly and i don't like it. 2/10

Starlight: SO GOOD. very simple but i like that. looks mysteriously similar to the kingdom key? i love it but it needs a little more going on. 9/10

Ultima Weapon 3: LOOK AT IT. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE THEY CAN'T MAKE A BETTER ULTIMA WEAPON. the silver and red look so good and it's spiky and cool. and the red is glittery!!! why? i don't care it's phenomenal. the spiky heart teeth. that it looks like it's moving. i wish i could break my rating scale. 10/10

Braveheart: riku kingdomhearts stole my fucking car key. we've all heard the complaints i'm not repeating them 1/10

Star Cluster: it's really nice >:( mickey switch with riku pleaase. the star theme is really cute and the colors are nice but why does it look so similar to the kingdom key. 8/10

Flame Liberator: i don't like the name but ok i guess. the keyblade is so fucking cool though. it's what bond of flame wanted to be. i love fire and it looks like it moves so hell yeah. 9/10

Xblade: still can't decide if i like this or not. How do you hold it comfortably. Love the glistening spiky bits. 8/10

[mxsmwndr]

Home(coming) to... You?

modern!newt x fem!reader

requested by @hoziersleftnipple

a/n: I AM MISSING MY FIRST HOMECOMING DANCE THIS YEAR NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! i was actually going to ask k out this year but you know... stuff happened so i didn't. anyways, this is based off of something my mom apparently did when she was in high school, so yay!!! i hope this was okay! requests (other than this) are still closed. sorry!! (happy holidays tho!) - also, i'm sorry but this is a lil a n g s t y ... oops. ;)

Newt was so desperately in love with you, it was insane!

You didn't know this, of course, but your friends sure did. His friends did, too. And, well, basically the entire school had figured it out by now (minus you, of course).

So yeah, they all knew to say no. They all had been warned more than a few times that Minho would hunt them down if they dared to ask you to homecoming before Newt. They knew it and he knew that they knew it.

And they all knew to not say anything when you climbed on top of one of the lunch tables and screamed "HEY! Any of you losers want to take me to homecoming?!".

But... someone apparently didn't get it.

(Or maybe he just didn't care.

I mean, he was taller than Newt and stronger than Minho. He was faster than Thomas, too! Minho's threats were like that of a chihuahua - all talk and no walk.)

Ari saw Newt freeze in his place and took it as a chance to get you because it's free country, right? You're your own woman! You can go with Ari if you want! Newt isn't in charge of you!!

And so yeah, you said "yes" to Ari that day, because hey, at least you've got a date!

And yeah, you gushed to Newt about it, too. All day and all night.

And also, no, you didn't see how forced his smile was (for once) and you didn't worry about him all much because you've got a date!

At least until now.

Within seconds you pulled Newt out of the hallway and into the janitor's closet. Your hand covered his mouth to suppress his possible (and very girly) screams and the fear in his eyes almost made you feel bad for scaring him.

Almost.

"Why are you avoiding me?" You accused. Yep, right. Getting straight to the point. No hesitation in this house...

"A - what?" Newt asked. His breath was minty, surprisingly. Fresh and warm and -

What?! Ew!

You shook your head, "Why are you avoiding me?" You asked again, because duh.

"I haven't been av-"

"Do you think I'm stupid, Newt? I know when something's up with you so talk!" You said. Then, quite desperately (aka: when Newt did not talk one bit) you added, "Please!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Was all he mumbled. God, he didn't even look at you! What the heck?!

"Newt," You warned.

"I'm fine."

"Cool, I didn't ask." You said. "But now... let's talk about that, since you're obviously not fine-"

"I am." He insisted.

"No," You scoffed. "You're not... so talk to me."

"No," Newt pouted. His arms were now crossed across his chest, childish as ever.

You raised an eyebrow to the boy, "Why?" You asked.

Newt looked to his feet, "Because it's dumb."

"Newt... it's not dumb-"

"Yes it is." He said.

"No, it's not," You promised. "Not if it's bothering you. Now... what's wrong? Did I do something?"

"No..."

"Liar."

"(Y/n)!" He snapped. Then, quieter, "Just... stop it okay? You..." Newt sighed. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, "How's Ari?" He asked.

Bullshit, you wanted to say.

Newt doesn't care about Ari. He hadn't since you were asked to homecoming, and-

No way! It - it made sense now! Holy sh-

"Good," You mumbled. Maybe... you shouldn't say anything now?

Or...

"Good," Newt repeated with a whisper. Then, in a normal tone, "Is he - um, are you two...."

"Together?" You asked with a raised eyebrow. Akdjdj what?! "No... God no!"

Newt exhaled heavily.

Wait... "Why do you ask?" You suddenly said. It was softly, far softer than your previous words had been exchanged.

And it would have been nice if Newt had not yelled at you just seconds before.

"No... no reason." The boy mumbled.

"Newt," You warned.

"I just... you guys are - um... cute together."

You laughed suddenly. "What?"

Newt said nothing in response. His pained look seemed to be enough.

"I... me and Ari? No! God no!! He's my brother's friend! Gross! Blah!" You exclaimed with a laugh. Newt nervously laughed along, but, of course, when you paused he did as well.

"Wait..." You said.

Oh no, He thought.

"Is that what this was about?"

No, no, no. Shut up. Stop now, please, (Y/n). Don't-

"Me and Ari?"

Newt furiously shook his head. No, no, no, no, no-

"Were you... jealous?"

NOOOOOOO-

"N-no,"

Goddammit voice cracks. Shut up for once-

You laughed again. Sharply, but sweetly. "You... you were!" You yelled before covering your mouth. "Oh my god!" You whispered. "But why?"

"I, um... I kind of wanted to take you to homecoming." Newt mumbled. Again, he looked to his feet.

"What?"

Newt looked up to you, but avoided eye contact. He stumbled over his words again, "I... wanted-"

"No, I heard you the first time!" You giggled. "Why would you want me, though?"

Now - and only now - Newt had met your eyes.

"What do you mean?" He asked. Suddenly, it seemed... he was worried...?

"I mean... me?" You asked. "Seriously?! You could literally have every other girl, but-"

"I don't want every other girl," Newt mumbled. He still looked at you, surprisingly, and then stepped forward. To you. Slowly... sheepishly.

You gave him a quizzical look in return, and he took that as a sign to keep going.

Or not.

"I, uh... nevermind. I gotta-"

"No, you don't. This is your free period, idiot." Then, when Newt frowned and furrowed his eyebrows, you added "I know your schedule."

Right.

Newt had forgotten about that.

The second you got your schedules the two of you compared them. Then, you gave each other a copy "just in case something happens".

Like now, apparently.

"Um, well..."

You raised an eyebrow and Newt was stuck. Damn, did he hate this. Couldn't he just... like disappear and never return? Was that too much to ask?

"I, um... well - I'm going to ruin our friendship if I say this-"

"So do it." You told the boy.

"I - what?"

"Do it." You repeated.

"Um... I don't really want to though-"

"Newt."

"Fine! I - I like you, (Y/n), okay?! A - a lot!"

You grinned, "I like you too, but - wait...." Wait a damn minute here.

"Um... yeah," Newt mumbled. "Can I go now?"

You thought for a second. Then, "No."

"But-"

"Newt!"

He blushed, "Okay. Right. So... just, um... forget I said that, okay? It's nothing. I-"

"And what if I don't want to?"

"What?"

"What if... maybe... I don't want to forget it. Maybe, um... maybe I like you too." You sighed.

Now you understood Newt's lack of eye contact. It sucked. Holy shit did it suck.

And Newt grinned.

Partly because you liked him back, yeah, but also because you were stuttering. To him. (And you never stuttered.)

"Shut up," You mumbled. You knew what he was thinking, anyways. It was obvious (and, of course, Newt was awful at keeping secrets).

But, of course, Newt knew it too. He knew that you knew he loved seeing you blush for once, but he obviously didn't dare say it out loud.

Instead, he smiled again, and wrapped his arms around your waist. You quickly did the same of course, and pulled Newt into one of history's Greatest Hugs Of Known Time.

*End* um... so yeah? lol. but also, don't worry about ari, okay? newt was your date to the dance (if you went) and ari asking you out was part of a plan that thomas and minho made with ari bc they're sick of you/newt making googly eyes @ each other. [You found that out soon after.]

[hiswhiteknight]

Unbelievably Outlandish– Part 1

Summary:  Before starting down a new crossroads, the Reader goes onto an adventure of literary traveling. Suddenly tossed into an unbelievable story that has swept the world, The Outlander Series itself. How will a twenty first century woman survive?

Note: I own no characters, except reader, clearly this is based off the lovely book series Outlander by Diana Gabaldon and tv show. This follows more the tv show, but it’s far from accurate. I’m going to try to get better with using less proper English, but who knows maybe I’ll get into Scottish slang.

Pairing: Jamie Fraser x Female Reader

Words: 1900

Warning: Angst, playfulness, cursing, slow start

It has been a long time coming, you haven’t been on a real vacation since you graduated high school. You joined the Marines immediately, went into training and university. With you, it was always work, work, work. For you, it made sense since your brother was a Navy Seal and you both didn’t really have family. And you didn’t stay anywhere long enough to make super close friends to vacation with. But this trip, this was for you and only you.

               You got your degrees in psychology, battle strategies, and world cultures, but your true love was literature. You made it this far living a pretty isolated life because of your brother and your books. You generally just loved to read, so after leaving the Marines, before you started to find your new pathway you said you were going to take this vacation around Europe stopping in different places described or lived in by some of your favorite authors. Jane Austen, Shakespeare, Sir Doyle, Thomas Malory, etc. And it’s been amazing seeing all these places that inspired your idols, imagining how your favorite fictional characters lived.

               And here, alas you were in Scotland. Not necessarily because one of your favorite fictional characters lived here or your favorite author grew up near here, but because of your brother.  He wanted you to explore where you both came from, he felt it would help understand life before you both lost your parents. Plus, he was a huge history buff – it was his hobby outside the Seals.

               He told you all about the battles and culture amongst the decades before us. He told you about our Irish and Scottish ancestors. He’d tell you, you can’t have a name like Y/N O’Mulligain and not think of the Irish.

               There was this nearby village you were passing through. An author named Diana Gabaldon wrote a romance novel based on this rock formation. Your old college roommate wrote a thesis paper about historically accurate romance novels and pop culture. You thought, what the hell, since your here minus well check it out.

               It was strange at first, wondering through this supposed magical place. People clearly flocked here for Outlander’s popularity. You more enjoyed watching the people. You sat against a tree, pulled out a sandwich from your bag, and watched the middle age woman touch these rocks like they were the rock hard abs of a character from Outlander. It was quite amusing. You liked to think your mother would be doing the same thing if she were still alive.

               “You must not be a fan, girly,” you look up to an older woman, clearly Scottish from her accent.

               Shaking your head, standing up to shake her hand, “Is it that obvious,” you laugh, “I’m Y/N. Just a tourist, watching other tourist. That obvious hugh?”

               “Mary, deary,” she grinned answering you with her name while look up at you. You were about five three, but this woman had to be four feet something tall because she was tiny, “Just by the way you’re gazing all around, a girl looking for her own adventure, not through someone else’s eyes or story, but of your own.”

               “You get all that from just looking at me,” you laughed, looking at her curiously. You loved people like this, authentic and wily – it was usually the case with old people.

               “It’s the glimmer in your eye,” she gripped your chin softly, shaking it.

               You laughed, smiling down at her, “May I ask you a question? Do you believe the tales of this place? I know the Scottish culture has a lot of tall tales and superstitions, but a story like that?”

               “Aaa,” she nodded her head, “A skeptic,” she nodded, “These people wandering about, they don’t really believe in the tale. But I believe in the magic of this place, it just doesn’t work from anyone. It’s for the special.”

               Watching her with amusement and skepticism, you laugh nodding your head, “I hope I didn’t offend you with my question.”

               “No, of course not dear – though I believe in the magic of this place. I mostly come to watch these woman fawning over these rocks. I like to bet on which woman will kiss one of those moldy old things.” You laughed so loud, she grinned up at you, “I am about to go home to my hunny Wallace, but you stay here for me? Those three woman over there,” you looked in the direction she was pointing, “I believe they are each going to lick one of these things.”

               Laughing again, you nodded, “I’ll keep a close eye on them. It was an absolute pleasure, ma’am,” she gripped your hand tightly for a second before releasing.

               You sat back, glancing at those women laughing, “And dear,” you look back up to her, “Most people will be leaving to their beds or finding a pub, but you should stay. While the sun is setting – this place will give you the most magical sights.”

               She truly intrigued you, “Of course ma’am, thank you again.”

               “Enjoy your adventure lass,” she grinned once more, walking off down the path.

                 She was right, people started to trickle out. Husbands getting annoyed or bored, ladies feeling exhausted, or people just fearsome of loss of light – they just left group by group. You were left alone eventually, starring at the sun sinking into the horizon. She was right again, Scotland was magical with sights. You took a mental picture of this moment – the smooth silence, the color the sky made, and just being one with this experience. Your life was never slow, silent, or peaceful. You had always lived in the rush of things. But here, you sat taking in this moment. You felt like you could stay in this moment forever.

               The sun eventually went down and you were met with near darkness – which exception of the full moon. You collected your things and got ready to leave. And it dawned on you – you came all this way and have never even touched these rocks. The book aside, these rocks have had legends and tales for centuries. You should respect the stories and culture. With one touch, maybe you’ll feel the stories, tales, and people that touched it before you.

               It felt odd to reach out and touch the stone. It was cool and surprising smooth. You laughed at the thought of all the tongues that touched this exact spot. And with a single breathe, everything grew black and all the air punched out of you.

               Next thing you felt was the slam of the ground and your oxygen returning to your lungs. The sun from the tree burned your eyes. And you heard it, gun shots. You thought you were having another Post-Traumatic Stress attack, but the second bang brought you to reality. And you started to run, your bag still on your back, darting through the trees. You heard shouts, but you were not taking the chance. Being in the military, you didn’t stand still to figure it out.

               Someone gripped your arm as you ran past them, pointing a sword right in your face, “Are you for real,” I yell at them.  

He had a musket pointing directly in your face. You stopped breathing; he was dressed like a 18th century soldier. Thoughts sped in your mind, could this be a reenactment? Could this be a sick joke? The bullet sounds shook you out of your thoughts, the man was about to speak. You grabbed his musket, yanking it towards your body. The gun went off as his head smashed into yours. He groaned, tripping backwards, and smashing against a tree. The light from the headbutt blasted on in your head.

The light started to blind through, and the forest became vivid again. The sound of bullet fire caused you jump out of it and look at the man unconscious before you. You had to be dreaming, everything was so real. The sound, the smell, the world around you. Where and when were you exactly? You got drug out of your thoughts as a bullet graved your arm. You gasped in pain and your body took flight again. On the run again, you slide down an embankment, meeting eye to eye with another redcoat.

               You gasped, “Holy hell,” you whispered looking at the man, “Forgive me,” you said out loud, as the man watched you, straightening up. You saw his insignia, “Captain?”

               “Jonathan Randall, Esquire – Eighth Dragoon of your majesty’s army, mistress,” he answered.

               Something inside you reminisced, that name was familiar. Watching him closely, as he made his micromovements - he was also watching you, like some predator to prey, “I seem to be in the wrong time, wrong place,” you awkwardly laughed.

               “It does seem that,” he paused to see if you’d introduce yourself.

               “I had someone taking me to some distant family and they tried to attack and rob me,” you tried to play the damsel in distress, “My brother always told me I was too trusting.”

               “Yes mistress, women are naïve sheep,” he tiptoed towards you, his hand resting on his sword, “Your accent,” he nodded towards you. You slowly started taking steps back, “I’m unfamiliar with it.”

               He didn’t believe you, clearly you were off your game. Maybe it’s because the blast you took a few minutes ago getting you to this point. It could be the fact that this was surreal, “I’m grew up in the colonies,” you shrugged it off, you could only imagine how far away your accent was to actually existing, “But my brother sent me to our parent’s home country after their passing.”

               You forgot the first rule of lying, keep it short with no unneeded details. His uniform was familiar, the military and your brother trained you well. You had inclined the year and it was clear the woods of Scotland were not safe with the Redcoats. This man was an enemy, not a gentleman of the era you’ve heard and learned so much about. You had to get away, find safety, and figure out what exactly is going on.

               You knew self-defense, hell you were trained well at the art of combat, but this man had weapons and the only thing you had was a backpack and no adequate footwear for a run in the woods, “You don’t dress like a lady,” he motioned towards your clothes. You stop breathing at this, “In fact, only traitorous women wear clothes such as this,” your back was against the hill behind you. His breath was on you. He gripped your neck tightly, “There is only one way to deal with a woman like yourself,” he went for his buckle.

               Your brother drilled into you about protection during moments like this. He trained you on what to do, it was natural. Headbutt to the nose, hike up of the knee, a tool – in your case a rock – to the head. And soon you were breathing heavily and looking at the Captain unconscious on the ground.

               The sound of the Redcoats was not far off, “Druid,” you heard. You were surprised that someone could sneak so close and not make any noise. This Scottish looking fellow reached out his hands, “Come now,” he said. Your only instinct was to take it for now. This man pulled you behind a tree.

               “What year is it,” you whispered to him.

               “1743,” he mumbled, trying to shush me, taking the time to give you a questionable look.

               “Pinch me,” you were hoping this to be a dream. It was a final test of your predicament. He looked at you strangely before helping with your request. He did, and you felt it and suddenly everything went black.

PART 2

[amphtaminedreams]

The Women of Euphoria and Personal Style: Lookbook no.8

Hi to anyone reading,

I hope you’re well considering everything going on! It feels weird to want to talk about fashion or TV shows or red carpets or whatever when 90% of my Google searches are COVID-19 related but there you go. It’s all about trying to power through as normal (minus the social interaction) and pretend the world isn’t ending, right? Queue nervous laughter.

And as if things aren't shitty enough, production of season 2 of Euphoria has been postponed until further notice. 

Okay, in the grand scheme of things, having to wait a bit longer for a TV show isn’t catastrophic but it does just about sum up the transition from 2019 to 2020 thus far that after HBO redeemed itself by broadcasting Euphoria in the summer following an ending to Game of Thrones that has made the whole series unrewatchable, the glimmer of hope in me reignited by the prospect of series 2 this year has been quickly dashed. 2021, I’m rooting for you, because it doesn’t seem like things are getting better any time soon, and in all seriousness, I think everyone needs a break from the collective suffering of the last few months.

For me (and undoubtedly for many others if the hundreds of makeup looks and styling videos are anything to go by), Euphoria’s effect on the world of fashion and beauty is unprecedented. I really can’t recall a TV show in living memory that has had as much of an impact on the way young people dress. I mean, this might partially be because the style of the characters already kind of caters to and draws from the target audience but also, aside from Blair Waldorf did anybody really give THAT much of a fuck about what anybody in Gossip Girl wore?

The draw of the styling on Euphoria is that it has something for everyone. The style of each of the main girls, Rue, Kat, Maddy, Jules and Cassie, all of whom I’ve attempted (emphasis on attempted!) to base (emphasis on base!) outfits around, is varied and distinctive but still so current and realistic at the same time. It’s also consistent; even if you don’t own the specific pieces worn by any of them, similar shapes and details reoccur enough in different looks throughout the series that it’s not hard to create an outfit which matches your favourite character’s overall vibe without buying anything new. That’s kinda what I have attempted to do here and without further ado, I’m gonna get on with it! First up:

Jules (Played by Hunter Schafer)

When it comes to whose style is the most experimental, Jules is the obvious answer. A lot of her outfits are what I imagine a cartoonist in the near-distant future will envision their cool girl protagonist wearing. Whilst her ensembles are generally whimsical and girly for the most part, there’s usually a few slightly punk-ish finishing touches thrown in there too be it through chunky shoes or bold makeup or that incredible mesh trench coat she wears in the series finale with the trans symbol on the back which, honestly, deserves a moment of silence. 

There are definitely nods to current fashion trends sprinkled throughout her wardrobe too. I'm not going to lie, despite someone at work seemingly thinking it was an insult to tell me I look like someone who does (I still don’t know but this person has a Rick and Morty keyring so I don’t give it too much weight), I’ve never watched any anime. BUT, that being said, given the abundance of anime screenshots posted by all these aesthetic oriented Instagram and Tumblr moodboard accounts, I have a vague idea of what some of the more iconic characters look like and a lot of Jules’ looks seem to be very much modelled after or at least inspired by them. In a way, I see a lot of her looks as a blend between modern “e-girl”, Y2K skater chick (yes, I’m thinking early Avril Lavigne), and 2013 Tumblr “hipster” a la 2014 Joanna Kutcha and Charlie Barker, and though on paper that sounds like a nightmare combination, it works. I know-if that sentence were a Depop description I would’ve just gained 30 followers.

When it comes to my own interpretation of Jules’ style, it’s definitely something I like to channel when I’m putting together a proper OUTFIT outfit. Meaning an outfit I actually put effort into and thus will most likely want to get a good photo in, lol. The way her character dresses is almost quite Christopher Kane in that it’s fresh and unusual but still understated enough that I wouldn’t walk into a room wearing any of these feeling like I’m doing a Rick Owens runway.

I’m not TOO far out of my comfort zone but still at the same time, I’d be trying something new and maybe a little bit more zany than I'm used to. As for noting where any of these pieces are from, only a few have been bought in the last 6 months, but from left to right clockwise I have marked out those that have in case they’re still available (though be wary of the fact that it seems a lot of online clothes stores are still forcing warehouse employees to work in close confines at the moment and so perhaps aren’t operating the most ethically):

LOOK 1

Corset-Jaded London

Shoes-TK Maxx

LOOK 2

Dress-Motel Rocks

Boots-Koi Vegan Footwear

LOOK 3

Dress-Jaded London

LOOK 4

Dress-Jaded London

Beret-Ebay

LOOK 5

Beret-Ebay

LOOK 6

Mesh Top-Depop

Hair Clips-Urban Outfitters

Kat (Played by Barbie Ferreira) 

Eurgh, Kat. 

I LOVE THIS BITCH.

If I had to choose my favourite character in the show, it would be a very close toss-up between her and Rue, and though I think Rue might just about nab the top spot for her relatability factor, Kat is the girl I want to be or wish that I had been when I was at school. I mean, there’s definitely an argument to be made in that a lot of what she’s doing with her cam work could be seen as a means of validation (Sam Levinson has basically said everyone on the show has some kind of an unhealthy coping mechanism and I would guess due to the circumstances in which her cam girl career was borne and the fact she’s underage, this would be hers) but I do think in other ways we really see Kat reclaim her power and recognise herself for the smart, capable, gorgeous woman that she is. Honestly, the definition of divine feminine energy, and I would completely let Barbie Ferreira/basically Kat if she was also actually 23 dominate me.

Plus! Her! Style! Is! The! Bomb! Definitely the easiest character to base looks around because if I’m totally honest Kat’s energy is pretty much just what I want to emulate in every day life. 

It’s either pieces that are typically feminine, cutesy, and even slightly preppy at times drenched in everything grunge OR vice versa where you have something semi-gothic and then add a colourful, more playful touch in there that harks back to the beginning of the series before Kat had began to explore her identity and sexuality and dressed slightly more Forever 21.

I’d say, not yet with my whole chest, that on a good day the outfits I put together when making an effort aren’t too far off something Kat would wear, minus the more overtly BDSM touches; if wearing a ring choker in London is enough to get me a creepy comment from a gross middle aged shopkeeper (because I apparently forfeited my right not to be perved on when I decided to buy a bottle of Oasis summer fruits), then you can only imagine the kind of looks wearing a full-on harness would get in my conservative OAP dominated hometown. Not the most doable right now, especially considering the only time I get out is to work and to go for a run. The chafing I could deal with but the horrified glares of pensioners whose M&S prawn mayo sandwiches I’ve ruined by simply being in their eyesight not so much.

LOOK 1-

Corset-Urban Outfitters

LOOK 2-

Bodysuit-Depop

Skirt-Zara

Harness-Ebay

LOOK 3-

Co-ord-Depop

Lace-up Corset-Missguided

LOOK 4-

Dress-Vintage

LOOK 5-

Belt-Ebay

LOOK 6-

Coat-Topshop

Dress-Jaded London

LOOK 7-

Fishnet Top-Ebay

Skirt-Urban Outfitters

Maddy (Played by Alexa Demie)

Not gonna lie, I was kind of scared to do Maddy. I’m scared to be posting this, lol! Alexa Demie has played this character for a single season and she’s already one of the most iconic women to grace our screens in years. This is a huge undertaking and I don’t have the bank balance or the body confidence (lmao) to raid IAmGia. 

And this is where I want to stress: THESE ARE NOT OUTFIT RECREATIONS. THESE ARE INSPIRED BY. I HAVE ADDED ELEMENTS OF MY OWN STYLE INTO THEM. PLEASE DON’T DRAG ME. I KNOW, I’M NOT ALEXA DEMIE. I WOULD NEVER ASSUME TO BE ALEXA DEMIE. I’M NOT ABOUT TO TAKE THE LORD’S NAME IN VAIN LIKE THAT. So now we’ve got that out the way (wipes bead of sweat off forehead), let’s continue. 

Everything about Maddy Perez is extra. She has very much been established as a centre of attention character, and her outfits are a key part of that. They’re daring, they’re hyper-feminine, and they are always glamorous. We’re told that she competed in beauty pageants when she was younger and it’s clear that level of excess and coordination and glitz and all-round-boujeeness wormed its way into her DNA during that time. Even the “depression” outfit she wears to school following Nate becoming violent at the fair is costume-like, a 2019 Bratz doll Off-White street style collaboration.

Do you know how HARD I had to try to be HOT!? For these photos. Alexa Demie is one of those blessed women who doesn’t have to try at all, and that translates into the character completely. At any given moment, Maddy could add or remove one item or clothing and be let straight into the VIP section of a club, and that, honestly, is inspiring to us all in these dark times. 

One thing I tried to keep in mind is that she always looks polished and coordinated, I.E the kind of look I would prepare for a night out is something Maddy would wear on an average day. Co-ords and delicate prints seem to be more subtle wardrobe staples along with mesh and PVC and glitter and feathers and fur and basically anything that toes the line between expensive looking and tacky. Yes, I am aware we may toe different sides of that line but please let me stay delusional and believe that’s not the case for 5 minutes. Much appreciated xoxo

LOOK 1-

Bodysuit-Jaded London

LOOK 2-

Bralette-Depop

LOOK 3-

Co-ord Suit-Boohoo

Bodysuit-Boohoo

LOOK 4-

Dress-Motel Rocks

Shoes-Schuh

LOOK 5-

Bodysuit-Zaful

Trousers-Depop

Coat-Topshop

LOOK 6-

Dress-Zaful

Belt-Zaful

LOOK 7-

Top-Jaded London

Hair Clips-H&M

Rue (Played by Zendaya Coleman)

I have a complicated relationship with Rue as a character. When I started season 1 of Euphoria, I was like “Oh my god, this girl is the worst. Jesus, she’s so negative and draining and willingly self-destructive and-”

Then, oh my god is this what it’s like to live with me!?

I will say, to my own credit, that I don’t think I've ever been quite as hard to deal with as Rue (a lot less smashing stuff up and a lot more moping), and to HER credit, by the end of the season we come to realise she’s been through a fucking lot and so it makes sense, but wow. I don’t think I have ever seen a teen show handle drug abuse and mental illness in such a brutal way. It’s quite a talent to be able to show a character cause so much pain to those closest to them and yet do so through a sympathetic lens. And issues aside, whether it’s her occasional social awkwardness or her relationship with her family or watching bloody Love Island (still quite surreal to see Zendaya Coleman witnessing the Amy/Curtis drama unfold), Rue is just my favourite character to follow. 

Her style, though. AH. The thing is, I can hardly drag it, because it’s pretty much what I wear when I’m moping about the house-or just any time I can get away with it to be honest-to a T. I want to stay true to character, but that being said, creating a “Seth Rogen”-esque outfit that’s worth posting on here is difficult. So, with the same kind of artistic license that had me wearing berets whilst cosplaying Maddy Perez, here is the best I could do:

I know, I know, it’s probably too much colour and jewellery for Rue but this is as toned down as I could do and I tried to stick with the key silhouettes we see from her throughout the season; I mean, I can’t see her wearing leopard print but the structure of the coat in outfit 1 is very similar to the one seen in Shook Ones pt.II. I think the bottom line when it comes to her character is keeping things effortless and not overly-feminine; you want to mix street style, athleisure and your dad’s wardrobe favourites like your life depends on it. Plus messy hair and smudged makeup, both of which I’ve already got down according to the completely inappropriate number of customers who’ve asked if I'm tired at work so thanks for that guys, and glitter tears. Lots and lots of glitter tears.

OUTFIT 1-

Dungarees-Vintage

OUTFIT 2-

Trousers-Depop

Cardigan-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 5-

Beanie-Depop

OUTFIT 6-

Shirt-Boohoo Man

Sports Bra-TK Maxx

Trousers-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 7-

Shirt-Jaded London

Cassie (Played by Sydney Sweeney)

Style-wise, Cassie is a hard one. When putting outfits for her character together, I found myself gravitating towards a direction that’s probably a bit too bohemian for her character, under the guidance of loose terms like “girl-next-door”, “floaty”, “delicate”, you get the idea. She definitely feels the least fully-realised in terms of all the main girls and I think it’s fair to say she’s probably got a bit of self-discovery to do. Most of her storylines in the season are dictated by her relationships to other people: McKay, Maddy, Lexie, her parents and so on. 

Nevertheless, I tried to stick to the airier, more traditionally “pretty” pieces whilst still channelling the confidence and ease with which Cassie pulls them off. Sydney Sweeney has the most incredible figure and I feel like whilst the clothes the on-set stylists put her in flatter that and don’t hide anything, they’re still the focus. It doesn’t feel like there’s anything more inherently sexual about her character than any of the other main female characters despite the way the men within the narrative view her, and I think it’s a testament to the the wardrobe department that to me she still gives off big modern Disney princess energy and a certain innocence even whilst we hear her being continuously sexualised by her male peers. 

If anything, Cassie probably dresses the most like an actual teenage girl, and her style, whilst less distinctive than the other girls, still does a good job of capturing the youth and romanticism of her character. 

The colour palette of her wardrobe tends to be quite neutral, with a couple of pastels thrown in there, and if there are any details, they’re usually quite dainty. Similarly, Cassie is probably the least experimental when it comes to her makeup; we don’t really see her wearing the bold eyeshadows or liners or gems like the other girls at any point.

OUTFIT 1-

Bodysuit-Motel Rocks

Hair Clips-Bershka

OUTFIT 2-

Dress-Jaded London

OUTFIT 3-

Trousers-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 4-

Top-Urban Outfitters

Hairband-H&M

`OUTFIT 5-

Top-Urban Outfitters

Jeans-Zaful

Headband-Primark

OUTFIT 6-

Top-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 7-

Dress-Urban Outfitters

Hair Clips-Boohoo

SO, I guess that’s it for my Euphoria lookbook! As always, let me know what you think (nicely pls, my ego is fragile lol) and I’d love to hear your opinions on the show too! I really haven’t got this excited over a new TV show in ages and I just think that it does everything so excellently-from the writing to the cinematography to the soundtrack, you can tell each element is so carefully and purposefully constructed. It immerses you into the dramatic highs and lows of being a teenager in a way I haven’t seen since UK Skins and I never thought I’d watch a show which held a candle to that. 

In terms of what I’m doing next, I’ve got a very delayed fashion week masterpost in the works as well as something to fill the Met Gala shaped hole in our lives, which I hope to get up over the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, if you read to the end, THANK YOU! And I hope you’re staying safe and AT HOME where possible. I know this self-isolation feels never-ending and if I’m honest, it is having a hugely negative effect on my mental health, but NHS staff are doing their very best with the shitty recourses they have and whilst it seems that our government have thrown workers under the bus once again, we can all do our bit to combat that by slowing the spread of the virus. Also thank you to anybody who’s out working now in such a scary and uncertain time! I work at a grocery store and can say from experience that the best way to show this thanks is just through kindness and following employee’s instructions without giving them grief for it. Everyone’s scared right now and the best we can do is pull together and look out for each other, as difficult as that might seem at times.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble, and like I said, stay safe! Thanks once again if you read til the end or even if you’re just here for the photos. Appreciate it more than you know either way!

Lauren x