Fine Line (Chapter 9)
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word count:
story summary: Since you were kids you and Harry had always walked that fine line of friends or something more. Now, pregnant by someone else, you find yourself staying with your long time best friend after things go sour with your boyfriend of 3 years.
Singlemom!Reader x Harry Styles
chapter summary: You and Harry revisit an old childhood game.
warnings: Language // cuddling // mutual pining but they're both dumb af // no editing
a/n: Apparently, I do still write... amazing right?? Anyway, posting this from mobile so it might be a bit weird formatting and I couldn't post the word count tonight. Sorry about that guys. Hope you enjoy anyways!
As always, likes and reblogs make my little heart sing and comments make me almost faint. So, gimme that love.
>>><<<
You settled into Harry's couch for yet another night alone. The light from Judd Nelson's match he had managed to ignite with the back of his teeth lit up the television. The
luminescent bulbs dimly casted tints of blue and white lights across Harry's living room. Your eyes glued to the movie you'd seen a million times before as you curled in tighter into the soft blankets.
Harry had been busy the last few days and while you tried your best to not bitch about it, you were lonely. Gemma and Abby had their own lives thousands of miles away from you. Jesse had still not answered you back. Your mother couldn't carry on a conversation with you for more than 10 minutes without forgetting who you were. Besides work, you really had no one to hangout with and even your coworkers didn't see you outside the office.
The only glimmer of a social life you had was your unborn child that you talked to constantly and Mr. Stranger-who-hits-on-people-at-the-doctor's-office. Since your child couldn't talk back to you yet, Matt was quickly becoming your life line to a somewhat normal life.
Your phone dinged for the millionth time that night. Matt's name flashing across the top of the screen had a smile curling on your lips. Your fingers quickly slid to open your message app.
>Can't wait for nights like these, right?
The message read, a picture of Roman passed out asleep on top of Matt's chest glared from your phone screen.
<<He looks comfortable.
You shot back, your lips rolling into your mouth as you waited for the response. There was nothing wrong with some innocent flirting, right?
>He says he highly recommends you trying it.
You could feel your cheeks heat when your eyes scanned his message. You bit the inside of your cheek as you typed back, quickly deleting your first response to write a different one.
You were so out of practice when it came to flirting. You had no idea how to even do it. Even when you started dating Jesse he was the one who initiated everything. You didn't know he was hitting on you until your dorm mate at the time told you.
<<Sure he does.
>Swear. Cheeky little thing even said he'd share me being his pillow with you if you come to the park with us on Friday.
You let out a chuckle as you read his response, ready to shoot back a more feisty text when the door to Harry's house was thrown open. A very drunk Harry stumbled through the door. His eyes widened when he saw you sitting on the couch. That lopsided smile on his face as he used his dining room table to balance himself.
"Have a good night?" You asked, your phone and conversation with Matt long forgotten as Harry clammed up. His hand ran through his soft waves of brown curls as he let out a long breath.
"Weren’t supposed to drink but Mitch brought out the bottle and-"
"Hazza, it's fine. I'm glad you had a good night. You've been busy lately. You probably needed it." You quickly cut him off, not wanting him to feel bad for having a life outside of you.
After all, you were his guest. He didn't need to run his itinerary through you everyday. He had his own things and you had yours.
"Missed yeh so much this week. Sorry 've been busy." He sighed as he tried to take a step down the stairs. His hand quickly pressed to the wall to balance himself.
"You need to go to bed." You mumbled as you stood up from your warm spot on the couch. Your arm instantly under his to help further balance him.
"But I miss yeh and wanna hang out." He whined. His head laid on your shoulder as he pouted.
"We can hangout all day tomorrow, promise." You said when you pushed him lightly back up the stairs. His body clung to yours. His arm around your shoulders.
"But, I wanna hang out now." He huffed like a petulant toddler. His arms stiffened at his side almost made you lose your balance.
"Fine, well hang out now as long as you help me get to your room." You rolled your eyes at him, letting out a huff when he stopped completely in his tracks.
"Promise?"
"Fuck, Haz, yes. Just get walking before I fall." You grumbled as you pulled at his waist. His feet reluctantly slid against the hardwood floors.
"Yeh can't fall right now yeh pregnant."
"I know." You sighed as you pulled him a bit more. Your doctor would have your ass if she knew you were putting this much strain on yourself. His weight was every bit of 5 times the amount you were supposed to lift or carry but it wasn't like he could make it to bed by himself. "Which is why I need you to help me here."
His feet left the ground in much better steps than he had taken before. The words you had spoken seemed to sober him up a bit as you finally pushed the door to his room open. His tall lanky body hit the bed in a second. You sighed as the pressure from your shoulders finally let up.
"Night Haz." You said with your hand on the doorknob, foot halfway out the door when he perked back up enough to turn on his bed to look at you.
"Yeh promised, so get back 'ere." He patted the bed a few times. A signal for you to join him.
"Uh, maybe tomorrow. We shouldn't-" your words were quickly cut off by his hand around your wrist as he brought you closer to the bed.
"Yeh promised, bunny." He smiled up to you that adorable dimple popped out as you nodded your head.
Well, you did promise.
Your knees hit the plush pillow top. Your body sunk in slightly as you moved across the bed to the top. Your arms around the pillow that smelled of Harry's shampoo and cologne.
That adorable grin never left Harry's face as he watched you crawl into his bed. A shiver ran down his spine but he quickly shook that thought away. You were just his friend. Only his friend.
He reminded himself of that many times as he mimicked your position on the bed. His head on the pillow, face towards you, both your knees touched each other.
"'Member when it'd storm durin' your sleep overs with Gem and yeh always end up curled up in my bed 'cause y'hate storms and Gem sleeps like a log?" He asked as his hands tightened around the pillow. Your head nodded as a smile crept up on your face.
"Remember you stealing all the covers." You teased as he rolled his eyes at you.
"Won't steal 'em tonight. Promise." His pinky finger shot in the air, yours immediately wrapped around it, without even a second thought.
The street lights outside his window cast soft white lights into his room. Just enough that you could see the outline of his face, the tip of his nose, the long eyelashes against his cheek every time he blinked. You licked your lips as the silence swallowed you both.
How much longer could you two keep up the act of being friends? You didn't know the answer to that question. Every time you were close like this to him you could feel your resolve washing away. Especially when his lips parted slightly, his steady breathing sounded like a soft lullaby. You swallowed, your eyes darted down to his chest.
"Wanna do the thing?" He asked, his voice broke your intense stare on his lips and back to his eyes. Your cheeks burned in embarrassment at the sight of his smirk.
"Seems a bit stupid now." You mumbled as your eyes darted away from him.
How long had you been staring? How long did he notice you staring?
"Well too bad. I wanna do it."
"You're bloody drunk of course you wanna do it." You huffed as you tried to protest against this stupid game you two always played as children.
"My bed, my rules." He said as the blanket encased both of you. The little amount of light that was being let in from the street lights was completely snuffed out from his duvet. The heavy duty quilt almost made it hard to breath. The air hot and sticky, smelling of whatever alcohol Harry had been drinking that night and his cashmere cologne. Suddenly, you were cursing your 12 year old self for ever coming up with this shit.
"This is dumb, Haz." You sighed.
"'S not dumb. 'S tradition!" His voice raised to a level you hadn't heard before. You could imagine the shocked look on his face, feel it forming on his features through the thick air.
His hand came to rest on the side of your face and yours reluctantly did the same. Your cool fingers touched against his warm skin. The stubble on his jaw tickled the inside of your palm. A sharp breath sucked through his teeth as your fingers traced the curves of his cheek bones. His own hand mimicking the movement, both of you studying each other's face with nothing but touch.
"Ready?" He asked, his voice playful and full of mischief. It almost made you smile, until you remembered how fucking stupid this was.His eyes closed when his hand ran over your lips. Your eyes trained on him for a second to make sure he wouldn’t cheat like he used to when you were kids. Once satisfied with the knowledge he wasn’t going to peek your own eyes slipped close, a long breath exited your lungs as you thought of all the times you did this with him.
It had merely started out as a way for you to touch him without him knowing you wanted to be close to him. Even though he quickly caught on to the fact of why you liked this so much when you were younger, he never protested when you suggested doing it. Of course, now you knew why he didn’t argue with you.
He wanted to be close to you too.
Your lips formed into a smile as your mouth opened and closed a few times. His fingers lingering over them as they formed words silently. His eyes popped open as he glared at you. The darkness didn’t let you see his expression but your hands could feel his eyebrows pull together. Your lips rolled in your mouth to stop your obnoxious laugh.
“Yeh a brat, know that, love?” He asked a bit irritated but you could feel his facial features softening when you let out another giggle.
“Couldn’t help it.” You said through your laughs, his cheeks pushed back against your hand that was still pressed there, a smile on his face so big you could feel the dimple there.
“‘M not a tosser.” He pressed his finger booping the tip of your nose before it dragged down to your cupid’s bow. The tip of his finger lightly traced the outline of your lips.
“Your turn.” You snapped him out of his silence when your digits went to his plush lips again. The softness of them never failed to surprise you. How did he manage to have such soft lips?
You could feel your mind slowly slip from how they felt against your fingers to how they’d feel against your own. Imagining what it’d be like to have them on you again after all this time. Wondering if they’d still send that electric shock down your body. Wondering if he still tasted the same, like home.
You were rudely pulled out of your daydreams when you felt his lips curl and twist. Your mind searched through your vocabulary of his top phrases he always said to you. Your lips pouted, eyebrows furrowed as he silently mouthed the phrase again. The skin of your fingers took in all the information down your arm directly to your mind. A smile you knew he could feel came across your lips.
“Love you too, Haz.” Your eyes fluttered open right as his hand left your face and went around your waist. Clearly done with visiting your old time game when he threw the blanket from over the top of your heads. The sweet crisp air being sucked into your lungs in deep breaths.
“Wasn’t so bad.” He said as you nodded your head in agreement, a shrug from your shoulders had him rolling his eyes as he pulled you into his chest. Your head against his pillow when his hand ran small circles over your lower back, the bottom of your shirt bunched up by his hands so he could touch your skin. A sigh of relief left you at the touch you didn’t know you needed, your face buried deep into him. Your own free hand wandered under his shirt. Your skin touching against the smooth planes of his stomach up to his chest. Contentment washed over you as your body relaxed into him. Eyes closing from how good it felt to be close again.
The soft call of sleep beckoned you to its depth. Your breath slowed as your legs entangled with his. Gently slipping into a deep sleep. Arguably, the best sleep you’d had in years.
>>>
Harry woke up the next morning with a pounding in his head. A groan left his lips as the sunlight that danced in through his windows blinded him momentarily. His sleep filled eyes blinked at the intrusion. Hand against his face, swearing to himself he’d never ever let Mitch talk him into another night of drinking. The echoes of his friend's voice rang through his head. Promises of a light night was total bullshit. His body ached as he tried to get into a different, more comfortable, position. His arm refused to move as something heavy laid on top of it. His eyes fully snapped open to see you laid out beside him.
A smile creeping across his mouth as he looked at you. Your soft pouty lips pushed out as you took in deep calming breaths. The sunlight touched the peaks of your hips and breast. Glowing light radiating off your silky bare thighs. He chuckled lowly, knowing your sleep pants had been abandoned some time during the middle of the night. He guessed some things never change.
His fingers ran down your arm, up the shoulder of your sleeve. He just wanted to touch you, feel your skin under his own. He couldn’t help it. He felt like a man being possessed. His own body moving to its own accord. Inching its way in to hold you like he did almost 8 years ago.
His arm was around you, face inches away from your own. He could see your eyes fluttering back and forth behind your eyelids. Small whimpers came from you as you dreamed.
Were you dreaming about him?
He sighed, head pressed harder into the pillow. He could have laid here watching you all day. The way your breathing made your chest rise, the way you unknowingly wiggled closer to him when his arm rested over top of you, the way the golden sunlight made you look like a fucking angel in his arms.
Golden, golden, golden
As I open my eyes
Words formed in his mind as he memorized every inch of your skin. Every valley of your body, every high rise of your curves. His sight eventually landed on your stomach. A small bump was there, not a huge one, definitely one he wouldn't have noticed if he didn't have every part of your body mastered like the back of his hand. He supposed it made sense you'd start showing by now. All the research he'd done late at night said 12 weeks was usually the normal time frame.
His hand slowly moved above your bump. Hovering there for what felt like hours. He would never admit it to you but he was scared, petrified, this child would somehow drive a wedge between you two.
Chase you farther away from him when it felt like he'd just gotten you back.
It wasn't that you two weren't close when you didn't live with him, you two definitely were, but with Jesse and others around he never had you to himself. That was all he wanted, your attention. He suddenly felt like a 7 year old begging you for a moment of your time while you mindlessly played barbies for hours with his sister.
How fucking pathetic, he thought. Was he really going to be jealous of your child having your time? Or was he just jealous that it wasn't also his child?
He knew the answer as soon as his hand hit your stomach. He inhaled a sharp breath in through his teeth. His heart melted as he thought of that little baby that jumped around on the ultrasound machine. A sense of protectiveness he'd never felt before flooded his brain.
He slid gently down the bed. He held his breath as he lifted your shirt. His eyes darted up to make sure he didn't disturb you from your sleep.
"Good mornin' baby." He mumbled to your stomach, his large hands completely encased the bump.
"Yeh don't know it yet but yeh momma is my best friend so I guess that makes us best friends too." He said lowly, his callused hands moving softly against your skin made you hum in your sleep. Your body shifted slightly to get more comfortable on your back.
Harry raised to rest on his elbows. His hands still on your stomach muttering soft sweet words to your baby.
"Gonna teach yeh all kinds 'f things."
"Gonna 'ave to let yeh listen to my music 'cause yeh mom has some bad taste."
"Gonna 'ave to teach y'football too, 'cause yeh mom's got two left feet."
"Definitely gonna 'ave to teach yeh maths she's really bad at that one. Pretty sure I did all her work fo' her. Got no idea how she passed when I left."
"You know I can hear you, right?" You asked after being insulted for what seemed like an eternity. Your head popping off the pillow to glare at your friend trash talking you to your baby.
"Oi, this is a private conversation." He said with a smirk on his face as his head shot up to you. His eyes sparkling with a glint of humor as you shook your head at him. He let out a sigh as he fell back to the bed. His chin rested on the covers as your hand ran through his hair.
He'd stay like this with you for as long as you let him. He'd be happily content to let your fingers run through his hair all day if you wanted to. The soft scratching of your nails on his scalp soothing him as his eyes slipped closed.
Yes, he could stay like this forever.
"Wanna get breakfast?" You asked a bit later, his eyes lazily flicked open only to shut again. His arm flung around your waist, pulling you close to him. His nose nuzzled into your side making you giggle that soft sweet sound he loved more than anything else in this world.
"Wanna cuddle." He mumbled into the exposed part of your skin. Your shirt still lifted over your stomach from him talking to the baby.
"Harry…" You said gently. Your hands in his hair paused their movements.
You cherished these types of mornings with him. Locked them in a special place in your heart but you knew deep down you shouldn't be in situations like this with him. It would only make things more confusing for the both of you. You could already feel yourself inching closer and closer to the edge of recklessness with your heart.
At the end of the day you were still you and he was still the great Harry Styles.
How could you ever live up to the type of person he'd need in his life?
"Jus' a little while longer, yeah?" He said from below you. Not wanting to admit he knew being wrapped up in bed with you was wrong.
He liked Camille. Loved her, maybe, but she'd never compare to you. The love he had for you burned deep, like a forest fire wild out of control. He tried his best to tame it. Remind it that you had no interest in him anymore but it had a life of it's own at this point. Even through countless rejections and long years of yearning for you without reciprocation.
"Yeah, okay." You said, your hands going back to work running through his hair.
Both of you, unknowingly to the other, wondering the same thought as you laid in each other's embrace.
What would happen if you crossed that line?
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Headcanon
for melodiouskeys:
So, maybe I don’t know the difference between HeadCanon and a short fic:
For When Bellarke first start dating (A/U)
--The thing no one tells you about dating your college roommte’s older brother, is that by the time you get around to actually dating him, you’ve known him for 6 years and everything about him.
You know how his last two relationships ended. She was ready to settle down, he wasn’t (Gina). She didn’t understand the relationship he had with his sister (Echo). Not that any of them really understood it, but Raven tells him he can’t live with Octavia after she gets married, and Harper goes to Bellamy when she and Monty have a date at a fundraiser so he can BRAID HER HAIR because he is better at than all her girlfriends, and Clarke tells him he is lucky because Octavia seems to have found the only other person on the planet as nice to her as her brother.
--Of course, he knows about her luck, too. Lexa didn’t like her friends,and was “incapable of love” (Bellamy’s words) and Finn, well….She and Raven had managed to convince everyone that they had met at the coffee shop in the Union until one night they are all drinking and Raven lets the story slip and the next morning,Clarke is taking a call from a desperate Jasper and Monty because apparently, Bellamy and Miller and MURPHY for goodness sake, are going to hunt Finn down. They are talking about bail money and lawyer fees and Clarke manages to find out that no, they haven’t found Finn yet. She and Raven track them down, tell them they already took care of Finn themselves and are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.
They are having dessert on his couch after their first real date. The one where it was just them and he picked her up and made her dinner and dessert at his place, they both have to think real hard to come up with something that the other doesn’t know about them. And it ends up being the dark secrets they haven’t ever told *anyone*.
“I wonder if my dad would have understood why I didn’t want to go to medical school. I wonder if he would have accepted that I’m bi.”
He touches his hand to her cheek and turns her head to face him, “Of course he would. There isn’t anything you could have done that would have disappointed him. Or me.”
Bellamy tells her about his diary. The one he started when he was 5, about all the places his dad would have taken him, if he had even known him. He tells he he is thinking of turning it into a book, but of course that means deciphering his elementary scribbles,and typing it. He doesn’t think he is Mitch Albom or Ken Burns.
“You know, it’s not your fault he wasn’t around. He was the one who missed out.”
-- The relationship almost didn’t last a week. They were making out at her place, in her bed, and they both knew where this was going to lead. Except he kept giggling everytime he looked in her eyes, and she was squirming she was so ticklish and everytime she said ‘no,stop” he stopped and put as much distance between them as he could. They were both afraid this relationship wasn’t going to go anywhere. They finally decided to just stop what they were doing. They curled up together and watched Enchanted on her laptop, because in addition to braiding hair, Bellamy’s other deep, dark secret from having raised his sister was that he *loved* Disney Princess movies.
She woke up through the night with her head on his chest. He must have gotten up through the night because he wasn’t wearing the jeans he had on when they fell asleep and she knew this because she could feel him pressing into her stomach. She knew he was awake because he had one hand in her hair and the other was drawing circles along her lower back and teasing at slipping under her panties. She leaned up and kissed him again and all the nervousness and tension from the night before melted away. They stayed in her bed the rest of the weekend.
---By week two she was saving wedding ideas to pinterest. At 3 am Saturday morning, she was in his bed with his head between her legs and she was thisclose to coming when his phone rang. He let it ring twice before tearing himself away from her and picking up. Jasper was drunk and needed a ride home, after having pissed off Maya. Clarke wasn’t even sure how it was possible to piss her off, but Jasper had apparently found a way. She wanted to be pissed at Bellamy but she knew, just like everyone else, that if you found yourself in trouble, you called him. Need a ride home at 3 am cause your drunk? Need a ride home because your date is a douche? Need someone to pick you up from jail? Call Bellamy. It was Murphy who discovered his red line though, do not call him if you have been pulled over for a DWI, especially if you hadn’t tried to call him for a ride. He left her in his bed and she spent the next hour on Pinterest while he drove aross town to get Jasper and take him home.
By 5 pm Saturday afternoon, Bellamy was going over numbers in his head trying to figure out how long it would take him to save up for the engagement she deserved. They were in Costco, all he had wanted was a new whiteboard and some dry erase markers for his classroom, but Clarke had already filled one cart and was working on another. He had tried to stop her once he figured out what she was doing, but she insisted. She had not only stocked his room for the upcoming year but also at least two other rooms, every school supply imaginable including Kleenex and Germ X and Clorox Wipes. Femine products for the nurses office. “Tax deduction, Bellamy. You know how this will look for my mom’s image.” Dr. Abby Griffin, wife of Senator Marcus Kane may have paid for it, but it had all been Clarke’s idea.
All he needed to do now was figure out why he had waited so long to ask her out on a proper date. And if two weeks was too soon to propose.
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