#mother FUCKER dude it's not possible there's no way

[svtskneecaps]

friends and fiends if this truly spells the Over for the qsmp i may let the brainworms that have been festering in me for MONTHS--A YEAR, EVEN--win.

i may summarize the goddamn fucking lore.

[cloudywriting05]

dollhouse — coriolanus snow

“torture me to sleep, have your way with me.”

» part two of one of the girls, can be read after or alone.

word count: 2,965 words

warnings: borderline physical and verbal abuse [DDDE], blindfolding, p in v, hardcore smut, bdsm, rough sex, slapping, mdni

tags: @urfavnoirette < even helped with the plot ugh 🫶

“What? She fucked him?” The blonde boy asked.

“Trust me, I get it. It’s fucked up. I mean, Sejanus? And not me? We didn’t even believe him until we saw them talking, he definitely fell in that pussy, man.” Festus remarked as he stared at Coriolanus, the blonde boy gazing into the distance at nothing as he soaked in the information he was just told. "Before me too, it's fucking diabolical, dude."

It was true, you had sex with Sejanus. Coriolanus stood there, enraged. Were you, his girlfriend? No, you weren’t. Did he feel betrayed? Cheated? Yes, absolutely. The revelation had his chest tight, his temper soaring, his breath shaking. His girl touched a man, not just any man, the one he hated the most, Sejanus goddamn Plinth. The root of all his problems, self-doubts, and hatred. The boy with the perfect ending, a Capitol success story comes to life, a district boy who rose to the top with his family. Just the mention of his name had Coriolanus completely enraged. There’s nothing Coriolanus wanted more than to kill Sejanus, more than usual right now.

“Are you sure she did? I don’t care, just curious," he questioned, his attention now glued to Festus's lips, making sure he didn't mishear the information.

"Didn't you see them at assembly? They were totally giggling and touching each other, they're definitely fucking, man– plus, Sejanus said it himself, he's one lucky mother fucker, I'll tell you that."

Coriolanus tried calculating when and why you fucked Plinth, or what possessed you to. He knew of your friendship, but nothing else. He always despised when Sejanus would team up with you for projects, the idea of you two alone would kill him every time because he knew something like this would happen; and it did. He was right. Was it because he fucked Livia last weekend? What could possibly be the reason? He couldn't find a reason, but he found a very serious problem. In the blonde boy’s head, he could sleep with half the school, and you still weren't allowed to touch another guy. You were his when you played with toys in the sandbox in pre-k, and you are still to this day. It’s never been said explicitly, because to him it never had to be, he just expected you to know.

“That’s fucking disappointing, isn’t it?” Coriolanus remarked, anger brewed within him.

“I guess…? By the way, are you going to Arachne’s birthday tonight? Everyone is going and I don’t know what the fuck to wear. Exams are fucking me up, man.” Festus whined, rubbing his temples.

“Wear whatever, it’s not like it matters. See you tonight.” Coriolanus replied, walking away to his last period.

Coriolanus knocked on the front door of the overly large mansion, loud electronic music evading through the walls, red and pink lights flashing through the window, eliminating the grass in the front yard. He stood there for a moment until one of his peers opened the door, Clemensia.

“Coriolanus…” she cooed, throwing herself towards the boy into his arms.

He held her as her drink spilled down his side, rolling his eyes in disgust. “Get yourself together, are you alright?” 

“No, but you look good… I like your shirt,” she remarked, her finger tracing over the patterns as she leaned against him. She’s fucking insufferable, he thought to himself.

“Thanks, now get up, pretty.” He stated, lifting her onto her feet and turning her around.

With a firm grip on her shoulders, he guided Clemensia through the entrance of the house, closing the door behind him. The volume of chatter grew even louder, an interesting scene in the apparent living room where people were lounging around, kissing and hugging. Releasing his hold on Clemensia, she joined her peers in the room. The blonde boy proceeded down a lengthy hallway, exchanging brief smiles with classmates lining the walls, their conversations blending with the music. Reaching the end, he pushed through holographic streamers dangling from the ceiling and stepped into what resembled a second living room, where vibrant lights flashed, fruity alcohol lingered in the air, and the heat hit him stronger than expected.

He stood there, observing the people he’d been in class with a few hours earlier, now dancing relentlessly against each other under the pulsating music. The bright flashing lights washed over their bodies, while pairs, trios, and groups gathered around, indulging in drinks and cigarettes. Amidst the vibrant chaos, Festus caught his attention with an unfamiliar girl. Navigating through the crowd, Coriolanus reached the center, where he firmly grabbed Festus's shoulder, prompting a swift turn in response.

“Dude! You scared me! You’re here pretty late!” he yelled as he leaned in towards Coriolanus.

“Yeah! I know! Have you seen Sejanus?” Coriolanus yelled back, his body being pushed by people jumping and dancing around him. 

“Dude! Yeah! He’s on the dance floor with your girl, man! Look!” Festus’s arm extended and pointed towards you, lost in the music as you danced with Sejanus.

Coriolanus watched your body pressed against his as you winded your hips, Sejanus’s hands resting on both sides of you, pushing up against your back. He let out a sigh as you whispered something into Sejanus’s ear and led yourself out of the crowd. Coriolanus took the opportunity to pursue you, pushing through everyone. He followed you closely behind, watching your hands struggle as you turned the doorknob and entered the dark bedroom. Keeping his footsteps light he entered behind you, closing the door. He stood silently as you threw yourself onto the bed, letting out a loud groan as your chest hit the mattress.

“Nice dancing back there, whore.” Coriolanus remarked, sending you into a panic.

“Fuck! What the hell are you doing in here, you fucking psycho? How long were you standing there?” you shrieked as you glared at the boy in the corner, your heart pounding inside your chest as it rapidly raised up and down.

Coriolanus let out a dry laugh and sighed, “I knew you could be dirty; I just never knew you could be so fucking cheap, and easy.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Snow?”

“You fucked Sejanus— now give me one reason why I shouldn’t strangle you and shoot him,” Coriolanus spoke calmly, stepping towards you as you sat on the bed.

“Holy shit, you’re insane, Snow. Does it matter who I fuck? You slept with Liv on the weekend and my entire friend group over the summer, so kiss my ass.” you exclaimed, keeping your stance.

“You’re too pretty to be acting like this, doll. So, get some fucking self-respect and never go near him again.” Coriolanus suggested, his finger running down your cheek. 

You slapped his hand from your face as he stood in front of you, looking up at him. “But, why? You’re not my boyfriend, and contrary to your personal belief, you don’t fucking own me, Coriolanus.” 

“You said I did when I fucked you so good that you came back for seconds and thirds.”

“I hate to break it to you but, your personality is not as likable as your dick, Coryo. Now get the fuck out.”

“No, not until you apologize for having sex with the biggest bitch of Panem.” he protested, causing you to erupt into laughter. 

“Fuck, you really are crazy, Coriolanus... If you won’t get out, I will myself. Move.” you shot up from the bed, your chest grazing his as you pushed past him.

You stalked towards the door, Coriolanus grabbed your arm and pushed you, slamming your back into the wall. You cried out in pain. The boy stood an inch from you, his hands pinning yours against the wall. Your body was engulfed in complete fear, you were horrified.

“If you think for a second, I’m gonna let you go out and grind against that fucking bastard, you’re wrong. You’re staying here, I don’t care when the party ends,” he declared, his face centimeters from yours, your wild eyes staring at his.

“Coriolanus, let me the fuck go,” you spoke calmly.

“Why? Why are you acting like you don’t want this? I know you’re probably getting off to it because this is the type of shit your sick brain likes.” he sneered, adorning a vicious smirk.

You hated him. You hated him because you knew he was right. The heat between your legs, his breath against your neck, his grip on your hands. You wanted him so badly, and you hated that he knew it. “Why the fuck would I want you to touch me?”

He raised your hands above your head, keeping them first against the wall. He let his free hand travel down your side, his other hand clasping at your wrists, holding them in place. His hand wandered to your bare stomach, his fingers then wandering under your skirt. Drawing circles against your clothed pussy, the same pussy that was begging for his touch. “I can already fucking feel it, you’re wet. Such a whore, now tell me what you did with Sejanus.”

He spun you around, your chest slammed against the cold wall. His hands still clasping at your wrists which were now behind you, resting on the lower curve of your back. With the side of your cheek pressed against the wall, you breathed out. “I fucked Sejanus.”

“Say it again.”

“I fucked Sejanus Plinth and let him cum all over my face,” you admitted, your voice shaking. 

“Good girl for being honest for once, hm.” he sighed. 

He freed your hands, but they still found a way to stay put behind your back. The blonde boy raised his hand and landed it against your ass as hard as he possibly could, conjuring up all his strength to do it a second time. You shrieked in agony, as you bit your lip.

“You know, sluts like you should get worse, but I’m so fucking nice to you. So, fucking nice. You’re just so pretty it hurts to hurt you,” his hand traveled up to your chin, caressing it, then gripping it firmly, forcing your head to turn in his direction, “but your mouth, my love. Your fucking mouth gets you in trouble.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“I don’t care, doll. Give me the ribbon,” he tapped his finger against the ribbon around your left thigh, and you untied it, handing it to him shamelessly. “Get on your knees.”

You dropped to your knees, shuffling around to face Coriolanus. His pelvis hovered in front of your face; you peered up at him as he glared down at you. You could still make out his features by the bright lights flashing through the edge of the door frame. Your last look at the boy’s pretty face. He caressed your hair before tying the ribbon around your eyes firmly, and your breath hitched.

“Feel how hard I am, doll. Do what you do best, whore.” he remarked, grabbing your hand, and placing it against his achingly hard cock. 

Your hands scrambled to unzip it as fast as you could without your vision. The rush consumed you as you successfully unzipped his pants, sliding your hand inside his boxers, earning a groan from the blonde boy. You pulled his pants down slightly, completely freeing his hard cock. Your hands flailed in front of you until you found it, gripping it firmly. You let the tip of his cock into your salivating mouth. You spat on it mercilessly, stroking it with both your hands. You placed his top against the flat of your tongue, running it against it in circles. Coriolanus choked back moans, refusing to feed your ego. 

Your lips puckered around his tip, sucking on it, the pre cum now on your tongue. You began to take his dick into your throat, deeper with every head movement. You felt his cock slide in and out of your mouth, moving graciously against your tongue. Your hands moved to massage the base of his cock, alternating between his massaging his balls, and flowing the movement of your mouth. Coriolanus’s chest heaved as he moaned shamelessly, not caring about your ego anymore. 

His hand moved to grab a chunk of your hair, forcing his cock deeper into your throat as you mercilessly sucked his dick. Your head moved vivaciously as his cock thrusted in and out of your mouth. Coriolanus pulled his cock out of your frantically, not wanting to cum inside your mouth. He rested his tip against your open mouth. You sat there, tongue out and eager. He slapped the tip of his cock against your tongue a few times before stepping away. 

“Get up, pretty.” he purred, helping you off the floor and onto your feet. He began removing your clothes piece by piece, throwing them to the side without struggle, he’d done this before. 

You stood completely bare, blindfolded, solely relying on the same boy who swore he was going to kill you. Coriolanus led you towards your bed as you followed him blindly, silently instructing you to position yourself in the center of the bed, which you did without saying. He pried your legs open, revealing your glistening pussy. 

“Did Sejanus get you this wet?” he asked, you shook your head frantically in reply. “I know, darling, what a shame.”

He traced a finger towards your heat and then started running it through your folds, causing soft moans to escape from your lifts. His finger traveled up and down your wet folds, pressing against your clit with each movement. Coriolanus watched your body react as you arched your back towards him, he sat beside you, his hand between your legs, studying every bit of you. He moved two digits towards your entrance and pushed inside slightly, he watched your lips open to let out a staggered moan, your hair caught under the blindfold. His fingers went deeper within you a second time, causing you to gasp, and then the boy didn’t wait to pick up a rhythm.

His fingers slid in and out of you, your wet vagina aching, as its own lube, you began to moan out for the boy with your sight still completely covered. “Fuck, Snow.” 

“You like this, don’t you?” he asked, lowering his mouth to your nipple, lapping at it before you could answer.

His fingers still pumped in and out of you, “I do, you’re so good.” 

He raised himself to look at your face again, he figured you weren’t in the state he wanted you to be in. His pace began to pick up, but instead, he used the flat of his palm to rub and press on your slit. The friction catches you off guard. His palm slid up and against both your folds and clit, sliding back to push his fingers further into you. His pace sped up, your back arched itself so your hips raised towards his hand. He watched your facial expression change as he mercilessly fucked your pussy with his hand. “Wait, Coriolanus!”

“No, I won’t. Now shut up and take it like you took Plinth’s dick, whore.” he snapped, breathing against your neck as his hand fucked you. He tapped on your side and without saying you flipped over, knowing what he meant without him having to say a word.

He snatched the thick ribbon from your chest and slid it around your neck, the two ends of the ribbon in his grip as it pressed against your neck. Pushing his cock into you, he smiled. “Does that feel good?"

You nodded through your moans as his cock slid in and out of you. He yanked on the ribbon suddenly, thrusting your head back towards him. You struggled as he restricted you from breathing while he fucked you. You didn’t know how you could be so helpless with him, how you let him do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted but he got you regardless. Coriolanus’s cock thrusted into you mercilessly, watching your ass bouncing against him. The door creaked open causing the boy to snap his head.

Plinth stood in horror, not being able to register the scene in front of him. Sejanus stood with his mouth open, Coriolanus briefly stopped thrusting and glared back at him. A smile crept up on the blonde boy’s face as he picked his pace up again you moaned beneath him completely oblivious, Coriolanus still glaring at Sejanus who began to close the door. You smiled to yourself as his cock filled you with every movement, completely satisfied, in complete bliss.

“Plinth could never fuck you like I do, okay?” he remarked through his moans, his cock still plowing into you.

“I know, I’m, I’m so sorry, Daddy. I’m so sorry. You’re just so good,” you cried out, his hand pulling on the ribbon this time forcing you to look back at him, “Do what you want to me, I’m gonna cum, please!”

He watched your body retract against his cock, shaking. You fell onto your chest, the boy continued to fuck you.

“You’re so pretty but so stupid,” he stated, his pace not slowing down, “don’t know how to keep your legs closed.” 

His free hand landed against your ass. “Now, you’re gonna sit here and swallow Daddy’s cum, okay?”

“Yes, I will, please.” He pulled his cock out of you as you turned around to face him, not hesitating to place his cock on the flat of your tongue.

You stroked it slowly, watching his eyes roll, “Fuck, you’re so eager for me,”

“Always.” you breathed against his cock, his cum spilling against your tongue, cheeks, and forehead. 

He fell onto his back, your eyebrows cocked upwards. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course, Mrs Capitol, tell me,” he replied as you lowered yourself next to him.

“I never fucked Sejanus.”

[hello-nichya-here]

Every now and then I just remember how Riley was painted as the victim in his relationship with Buffy and it just makes me so mad. The writers keep telling us that she didn't appreciate him and his way of loving her, but we are SHOWN that it was actually the other way around.

Buffy was not perfect, and it's clear she first got attached to Riley because he was a normal dude and she very much needed something in her life to be normal - but when it turned out he also had a secret life, that he was also the "hero" of his group, she accept it. She continued to like him. She still wanted him around.

Riley meanwhile seemed to resent her for being the slayer, for being stronger than him, for having other stuff going on in her life, for having dated/being the object of affection of guys that were stronger than him.

His insecurity is ridiculous. He was literally willing to die just to be a very strong, but also very dead guy, instead of being a completely healthy dude with the strength of a regular dude. He even acts like him not being able to beat Buffy in a fight, even with the "power up" is what is causing her to be "distant" sometimes, not the fact that, like he said himself, she needs to prevent the end of the world every other week and that's kinda stressful and takes a lot of her free time.

He also complains about her asking him to take care of her younger sister, the most important thing in the world to her, so she doesn't have to worry about that while out killing vampires and demons - and he thinks of that as her "not letting her be useful", and then complains again when she gives him a bullshit role in the whole "stopping the doom of all of humanity", even though he just refused the thing that would make him actually useful. He also conveniently forgets things like Buffy asking HIM specifically to take care of her after she was wounded in a fight. He doesn't see any of that as her truly including him in her life and full on needing him like he wants her to - because it's not in the way that allows him to pretend he is THE hero, not the hero's boyfriend. Being important TO her doesn't actually matter, what he really wants is to feel superior, to be more important than her.

And even outside of the Slayer stuff: this dude really heard that his girlfriend's mother was potentially dying, and instead of thinking of how he can be there for her (something he CLAIMS he wants to do) all he can think about is "Why didn't she immediately call me? Why did she tell Spike first?" (I'm a spuffy fan, but come on, she only told Spike because he just happened to show up at the very second she was ready to open up about it and just needed a shoulder to cry on). Everything, even his girlfriend's struggle with the possibility of her parent dying and her needing to step up as a parent to her sibling, needs to be about HIM, his feelings, his wants and needs.

The fucker even has the nerve to cheat on her during all of this. Compare that to Angel going to Sunnydale to give her emotional support after Joyce died, or Spike comforting her before even knowing WHY she was crying and then sending flowers without a card to honor her mom and offer Buffy some compassion, but without disrespecting her very explicit "stay away from me, Spike." It's very clear which of these three guys never actually cared about her, even a little bit.

Hell, Riley is 100% sure that the only way for Buffy to "prove" her love is to suffer for him. Her sister tells him "I like you much more than her ex, you would never break her heart like he did" - and somehow, he doesn't take that as "Buffy and her family fully trust that I'm a good guy that would never do anything to hurt her" (something Buffy herself says to Angel's face in his show) but rather as a "Nothing I do would ever hurt her because she doesn't actually love me the way she loved Angel."

Not to mention: his assumption that Buffy was only ever attracted to Angel because he was a vampire, and thus any other vampire like Draculla or Spike could easily steal her from him, just shows how much he didn't understand her at all.

Buffy started crushing on Angel thinking he was just a normal human that knew about the supernatural and wanted to fight the good fight. She didn't find out about him being a vampire until he lost control for a second and went vamp-face after their first kiss, and it freaked her out.

She fangirled for a second meeting Dracula, but man, come on, OF COURSE the slayer will be excited to see the most popular vampire ever, and she was more than willing to kill him. The whole reason there were any flirty vibes between them was because the dude had literal mind-control powers.

Spike is the closest Buffy ever got to "dating a vampire because he is a vampire" and that was because she was literally craving death. Even then, she was horrified at her own attraction to him, AND there was a different side to their relationship, with Buffy liking Spike because he was the one person that wasn't disappointed and resenting her for being depressed.

For fuck's sake, she had a thing for PLENTY of normal guys - RILEY VERY MUCH INCLUDED!

He was the one that only cared about "who is stronger" and kept insisting that Buffy was the same even after overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

And for the show to then make HER go after him, make HER all sad when he is dating someone else, make one of her closest friends blame HER for everything that went wrong in their relationship, and then make HER basically claim he was right with bullshit lines like "I wasn't there for him like I was for Angel" is ridiculous - specially when, again, what made Buffy want to be with Riley in the first place was her trying to not fall into another unhealthy relationship like the one she had with Angel. They were codependent and when he left it nearly destroyed her. OF COURSE she's gonna try not being as obsessed with the next boyfriend (or with the one after him) because she knows that shit doesn't end well.

Again, say what will about both Angel and Spike, but at least Angel walked away after realizing their relationship was a dead-end that would never make Buffy truly happy, and Spike put himself through hellish torture to get his soul back and make sure he'd be a better man who would never make Buffy suffer.

RILEY being framed as "the perfect guy Buffy couldn't appreciate and let get away" is just insulting. Of all the guys Buffy has ever been with, he is the one that deserved her the least.

[mossdoesartshit]

ITS THE SINNER ADAM BIT. GOD HELP. this will be long fair warning

-----

Adam had woken up to another relatively normal day in hell. Weird as shit birds chirping, screaming, and explosions rattled into his ears as he blinked away sleep. It had been a while now since he'd come to the hotel, and he still didn't quite know how to feel about it, but things felt... safe, for once. Not as safe as back in heaven, mind you, but safe enough he was feeling comfortable. He still had a lot of shit to sort out (most frustratingly, emotions about this entire ordeal), but anything to get back to the comfort of heaven, he mused to himself as he futzed his hair into a good enough shape, and the minimal requirement of clothes on.

He walked down the stairs to the main area of the hotel, trying to remember if he had to hang around the hotel the entire day, or if he could go try and find that milkshake place again-

"YOU. YOU FUCKING KNEW!" Lucifers finger pointed at Adam, snapping any sleep still remaining in his body

"huh???" came out of Adam involuntarily

"YOU KNEW LILITH WAS STILL AROUND, AND DIDN'T TELL US?!" Lucifer continued, Charlie quickly closing the gap between her and her now very angry father "Dad, come on-" "NO." charlie flinched

"HE knew your mother was around somewhere, HE knew of her whereabouts, and DID NOT TELL US. Still the spiteful prick, aren't you Adam!" it came out more an accusation than a question, anger in every possible core within him. Adam brought his hands up defensively as Lucifer continued. "YOU knew and didn't think to tell us? To tell CHARLIE, to tell ME?!" it was true that Adam knew about Lilith, very much unclear as to how Lucifer, charlie, and whoever else of the hotel staff were still around, but... "I thought you guys knew!" Adam tried "BULLSHIT" Lucifer continued even further "I can't even begin to believe you! You waltz in here, pretend all this happy good stuff about how you're TOTALLY getting better, and HERE THE FUCK WE ARE!" The corner of Adam's mouth twitched. As much as he could believe that everyone in the room knew what all he'd known, and as much as he could believe that asking who even told them would be a bad idea, he was getting irritated about the method in which lucifer was bringing this up. He HAD been trying his best and the accusation he wasn't brought further ire to it all

"Hey, dude, chill out a bit-" "CHILL OUT?" ah. "How can you even THINK to say that right now, ARE you even thinking?" well ouch. if it wouldn't've made the situation worse Adam would've been hurt by such a statement, all he really did nowadays WAS to think-

"I SWEAR to.... SOMEONE, SOMETHING, ANYTHING, you probably have been lying this whole time!! About everything!!"

something snapped in Adam.

without much thought, he grabbed a hold of Lucifer tightly and harshly, flaring his wings out as he snarled right into the former angel's face, only slightly registering the sounds of the others in the room either from shock or horror. Lucifer's hat fell, the little snake letting out a small squeak in surprise.

"Listen here, you Mother Fucker. You can call me a helluva lot of things, but fucking Liar. is NOT one of them. You have no idea the shit that happened after Eden, oh boohoo, you fell out of heaven, cool, whatever, do not pretend to know me enough though that id do such a fucking bullshit act as to lie. All my life, through Eden, through Earth, through Heaven, even now, I have been doing nothing but the fucking truth."

Lucifer stared up at Adam, confusion, vague horror, as he stared into Adam's glowing eyes. Not for fear of injury or pain, but... something else. Something that felt familiar. From all the way back in...

Adam shifted his gaze, up from lucifer, up from the floor, to... Charlie. She was clearly nervous, never having had to break up a fight between others. "Hey, Adam, I..." she tried, taking a breath, as she tried a confident smile, her hands trembling and her brows furrowing giving her even more away. "I know that probably hurt, but let's not hurt anyone ok? Take a deep breath, and we can talk this out ok? I-... I needed an activity for today anyway!" she chuckled nervously.

Adam hated this. Fuck's sake, he was just undoing progress. He bit his lip as Lucifer turned to Charlie a little bit, ever the faintest confused

"Whatever" Adam snarled, shoving Lucifer to the side, which Lucifer had not anticipated, and promptly kind of fell on his ass about it. "Do whatever, I need some fucking air"

He shoved his hands into his pockets in frustration, moving to walk away past everyone fast, as Charlie rushed to Lucifer's side nervously. From the corner of his eye, Adam could even spot Vaggie being a little conflicted. Funny, who knows how long ago at this point she'd've looked smug.

"Dad are you ok?" Charlie asked a little hurried, picking up his hat softly, as the little snake curled up. "I'll talk to him, don't worry, I..." she noticed Lucifer wasn't really listening to her, staring after adam, still in his head from earlier. Fuck. Right. Of course that felt familiar from Eden. He was a little shocked it took him so long to remember it. The shade of the tree as he'd stared up at Adam. Fuck. That was going to be a mess to talk about. And he knew, that the two needed to talk. He just hoped Adam knew it too

[cerastes]

Bro any time I think about Valkyria Chronicles I laugh my nipples off, the game is fundamentally flawed gameplaywise but, simultaneously, it's stupidly fun, which is the recipe for any club banger, it has a story that weaves flawlessly between "that's pretty poignant" and "this is some goofy goober shit", it's got the horrors of war but also this fucking pig piece of shit mascot, Hans,

It's an amalgam of white and black without any gray: It exists on extremes, and it never intersects, it's playing two parallel lines and coming to terms with the fact that you'll never see cohesion but that somehow enhances the end product in ways evidently no one intended. You have narrative comparisons with the persecution of jews and, at the same time, the game ends with the bad guy getting German Suplexed.

But I think the funniest aspect of Valkyria Chronicles The First is that the main character is the farthest thing from a war hero they could possibly muster with the expertise of a stoic Japanese swordsmith from the mountains crafting a god-cleaving blade: Welkin.

This Scout From TF2 Put Through An Anime Filter looking mother fucker was chilling in his hometown talking about how much he wanted to be a teacher and showing people his really good sketches of animals because he's also a gifted artist, when suddenly, the Dudes attack, and his reaction to the Dudes attacking is "hang on, I recall my dad hiding his actual service tank in the shed in the back" so he goes and, yeah, his dad's tank from a previous war is just there, chilling, so he takes it for a joy ride while the town baker, Alicia, armed with a rifle and infinite action economy due to the afore mentioned flawed gameplay, sweeps the entire god damn platoon of heavily armed machine gun troops.

The entire game is Welkin using his love for nature and his baker love interest to inflict insane personnel and materiel damage to an entire empire: Welkin and Alicia will come across a heavily fortified bridge, and the dialogue will go something like

"Welkin! They will pulverize us with the heaviest machine guns known to man if we step one foot in that bridge! They practically developed wooden low-orbit bombardment stations! What's the plan!"

"Well... Look at that duck over there. It's flying from the east to the west, right? Well, YOU SEE, that duck is known as a Balkunese Socioduck, and those, during this season, migrate from west to east, and they only exhibit this irregular flight path if a Matrisgel Weasel family is molting by the juniper berry bushes, their favorite food. Matrisgel Weasels only ever molt if they are put under the exact amount of stress caused to them by the sound of distant tank threads on the road, and they are known to hide in sturdy, stable soil."

"Welkin, SIR, what the fuck does this all mean?"

"If we follow the smoldering shrieking of the molting weasels, we'll find a SECRET PATH that will, as always, let us ambush, flank, and surprise our foes! Alicia, you know what to do."

"Ogggeyyyyy"

and then, invariably, no matter the level, thanks to Welkin's impressive knowledge of fauna and flora, and Alicia's literally infinite action economy in a game that wasn't properly beta tested in-house during development, they combine their powers like a piss poor Captain Planet and kill the absolute shit out of an entire Empire's worth of dudes, and it's legitimately one of the most fun and charming games you'll ever touch if you remember to not take it too seriously. I fucking hate Hans but I love this game.

[xerith-42]

Why Blaze is MyStreet's Most Failed Character

Blame the big bang discord for this post, I wasn't gonna write it until those fucks encouraged me.

Anyways here's an entire essay about why Blaze is the most wasted character in the entirety of MyStreet and I will literally fight Jessica and Jason Bravura with my bare hands.

To get us started on our harrowing tale of wasted potential and the best improviser Jessica ever hired, we need to go back a little. Back to Phoenix Drop High Season 2. We won't stay here long, I promise, I hate it more than you can possibly know. But the single saving grace of this absolute mess of a season is ya boi, Blaze. Introduced in the 18th episode of the season, airing on April 12, 2017, with the airing of Phoenix Drop High Season 2 Episode 18, Blaze was a character who started his brief tenure series with a bang!

Literally dude showed up and the first thing he ever did on screen as a character in a piece of media we can engage with is throw someone out of a window. We do not know this mans name yet and he's already left a lasting impression. Sure throwing people out of a window is common in werewolf culture, which I don't care what you say that's objectively funny, but it is bold to start a characters entire introduction with that. Blaze comes out of the gate swinging before he's said a single line.

And then after introducing himself he throws a dead bird at Aphmau to show off his hunting skills?? Okay so he's just that fucking weird and overly enthusiastic about things I guess! That's amazing! MyStreet always shines when it just lets it's characters be fucking weird without making a big deal out of it or talking them down for it. Dottie even says that it's romantic which is again just a great showing of Blaze's enthusiasm and lack of what might appear to be common social decorum because of said enthusiasm.

This is all punctuated and brought to a hilarious breaking point when Blaze's final showing of why he should be the new top dog at his school is when the crazy mother fucker rips his shirt off to literally flex about how he's one of the hottest guys in the school. And I'm going to be real with you, given Blaze's later characterization as a himbo, I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually care about this. He just says it because he thinks it'll boost his chances. Blaze is later shown to be a character willing to throw away his reputation for the things he cares about, but he does get a rather sincere moment with Aphmau, even if she's blushing the entire time.

It shows that Blaze is not only physically affectionate, but also weirdly comfortable with his shirt off. Because this is purely objective character analysis I will not be shoving my Blaze is autistic and has sensory problems with things touching his chest propaganda down your throats, but now that I've mentioned it once you won't stop thinking about it when this comes up.

The show admittedly fumbles the bag a little by having Blaze say in his internal monologue that he thinks Aphmau is cute and acts kind of like a tsundere, but this is Jesson writing so there's always bound to be a bit of That Shit. But in spite of that, Blaze is a character who has an instant impression that leaves a lot of room for comedy potential, and just good ol' fashion silliness. And while the werewolf plot of Season 2 is... bad, Blaze and the Werewolf Pups are stand out characters in the sense that their characterization leaves a lot of potential if they're in a different, better written story.

And even if the arc is bad, Blaze still is a quality part of it. His shallow but hilarious initial characterization gets built on in some really solid ways. Namely in how he acts as a force for good in Aphmau's life even if she doesn't realize or give him permission to do it. This entire season is about how the different men in Aphmau's life handle helping her in a crisis, and funnily enough, in a season centered around Aaron literally overthrowing Aphmau's new love interest, Blaze is the one who was consistently doing what was best for Aphmau.

Aaron fumbles the ball more than a few times, Ein is shown to be actively malicious, and Kai gets hate crimed. But Blaze, who's barely even a contender in this ship war, is constantly working to actually make things better while everyone else is pulling Aphmau away from what actively matters about her position. While Ein is manipulating her and Aaron is trying to prove that, Blaze throws caution to the wind and just does what he thinks is best to restore order.

But more important than that end conclusion is his true goal of standing up for Daniel. A wolf it is established he barely knew before this year, that Blaze is willing to throw his reputation and standing in a bull shit hierarchy because he's seeing how this hierarchy is hurting someone who doesn't deserve it. Blaze is the one who is baring his fangs and willing to throw hands when Daniel cowers away from bullies. By the end of the season Blaze has been given adequate screen time to not only show off his fun and maybe a tad out of touch side, but he's been given a real level of sincerity that's tied into the things he's enthusiastic about. He loves being a werewolf, and he extends that love to all the werewolves around him, until they start being dicks to other werewolves who are literally just sitting there.

At the center of Blaze is that inherent goofiness though. He's always cracking jokes, or the joke when he's on screen, and in a series that was originally pitched as a light hearted slice of life comedy in contrast to MCD's general misery, that sort of character is needed to keep the tone. Such is show in episode 22 when Blaze is reading a book on the Scientific Method to just learn more about science, but realizes the book is upside down.

But he actually understood it enough to properly apply the scientific method to this situation?? Iconic. It's played off as a joke of Blaze exploiting a loophole to get out of class, but even that's pretty smart honestly. Blaze may be a dumb ass but he's always willing to cheat an unfair system.

Episode 22 is basically a Blaze centric episode, which I did not expect, but now that I'm rewatching it for this post it might be the reason I love this character so dearly. It's not only the episode where Blaze manages to learn the Scientific Method upside down, but also stands up for Daniel in a really substantial way. Blaze is loud, enthusiastic, and strong, all traits that are celebrated by werewolf culture, and whether he realizes it or not, him just being around Daniel can do a lot to get bullies to back off. Everyone has seen Blaze toss a mother fucker through a window, they do not want to be on the receiving end of that.

He spends the rest of the episode trying to figure out what Ein's deal is when he hears that Ein went behind Aphmau's back on werewolf matters, landing Daniel in this situation. He hears Ein actively plotting against Daniel, but that is normal werewolf behavior. He concludes that he'll keep an eye on Ein. And this through line of "normal werewolf behavior" informs a lot of Blaze's decisions once he comes to the conclusion that Ein sucks and deserves to be undermined. He resorts to letting his actions speak louder than words and goes to violence after realizing that the wolves aren't listening to reason, they're listening to instinct.

He fights fire with fire, and while Aphmau might not approve, it's more effective than her soft rhetoric has been in getting people to be less of jackasses. This eventually lands him in hot water where he steps in for Daniel after Ein tries to get his goons to beat him up, and even if Blaze is fighting in a five v one, he still goes down swinging. And I'll say it, I think it's sweet that he calls Aaron after this happens. While it's clearly meant to be a thing of Blaze calling the last alpha because he's probably the only person who anyone will listen to, there's an important detail I think is easily overlooked.

He has Aaron's number.

He says he got it from the werewolf pups, but that means that Blaze went out of his way to make sure he could contact Aaron. He's the reason that Aaron even realizes Ein is playing all of them. Blaze is the catalyst for his undoing because unlike Aaron who's nearly imprisoned, heartbroken, and been hesitant to act in the plot as a result, Blaze doesn't actually care that much if Aphmau currently likes him because he's more worried about her physical and mental well being than whether she wants to kiss him or someone else.

How many Aphmau love interests can say that?

Can any of them say that?

Blaze can.

Blaze actually consistently shows a level of selflessness that's unfitting of how I've seen some people characterize him. He gives up his real chance to be Alpha because Daniel is so compassionate and earnest and genuinely deserves it. Blaze wants to believe in a future lead by people like Daniel and Aphmau where he might not have to keep fighting people to keep things sane. Blaze constantly gives up his pride, his power, his safety just to make sure that his friends are taken care of, or to effect real change in a school he's about to leave.

It wouldn't be long after Phoenix Drop High Season 2 ended that Blaze would make his debut in the main series My Street in the second episode of Season 5, airing only a few days after the end of Phoenix Drop High Season 2. Just like before he really shows up with a bang, literally throwing himself through the air between Lucinda and Kim just to catch a frisbee because Blaze is the most extra mother fucker ever, and then immediately proceeds to flirt with them. Iconic as ever. Short but sweet.

It's in episode 3 that it's revealed that Blaze and the werewolf pups kept Aaron company during his rehabilitation year. But from the way it's worded it sounds like Blaze was called in before anyone else by Aaron's parents. Based on the way they talked and actively planned together before, I wouldn't be surprised if Blaze was the first person who came to his mind when Aaron thought of a werewolf friend.

I think Aaron reached out to Blaze when he needed it.

And even though I've previously stated that I don't think Aaron's parents initially liked Blaze because by this era he's old enough to fully take on his persona as the cool stoner friend who's also a little insane in the most charming way possible, he has a good impact on Aaron. Aaron likes being around him, and maybe they smoke weed to help Aaron relieve some of the lasting pain when no one's looking.

Regardless of his methods, Blaze does an ultimate good in Aaron's life as a result of being there for him when he needed it. So much so that he was invited out to Starlight and is shown to be one of Aaron's main pillars of support. We are given scarcely little of this actual friendship, which is where the problem lies. While before Blaze was a surprisingly engaging part of an other wise terrible story, at least in season 5 the story is a lot slower and character focused. And Blaze can work in these moments, we saw him have real moments of sincerity before.

He gets some of it, but the issue is that Blaze isn't allowed to be alone anymore. The cast of MyStreet is huge, and Blaze is a character who is making his second major appearance, while some characters in the cast have been present since literally episode one. It's hard to justify giving him solo screen time when he's been in the series for such little time and we barely have enough time for certain significant characters to really have arcs (Lucinda). Most of Blaze's scenes are scenes with at least four other characters on screen, he's never allowed screen time without at least two other werewolf characters attached to him.

I don't object to Blaze hanging out with his friends, or even making new ones though out the season but... Would it kill the writers to let him have a scene with Aaron? Like. A single scene. Where it's just Blaze and Aaron. I mean just Blaze and Aaron without Aphmau there. They've done this before. They did it in the season Blaze showed up in. Just one scene where the two of them get to talk about literally anything would do so much. Even if they talk about Aphmau, it's better than nothing. It would strengthen both of their characters so much to be able to get a scene where they talk to each other not as conspirators who kinda know each other, but as real friends supporting one another.

Show that even though Blaze said Daniel was more compassionate than he was, Blaze still is a compassionate and even empathetic person. Show why Aaron was grateful to have him during his recovery. They have those scenes of Aaron at physical therapy, right? Why not have Blaze take him one time and just show how they interact then? The possibilities with this unrealized idea are endless, and that's genuinely upsetting. Opportunities like this present themselves every time Blaze makes an appearance, they even tease me by giving me scenes where Aaron is alone with a character he has little to no connection with, Maria.

Maria was a foil for Aphmau. And Ein was a foil for Aaron. And Blaze was a foil for Ein. There is no reason for Maria to really have a rapor that matters with Aaron. He doesn't really know her that well, she's clearly a friend by association, and it seems like an odd thing to focus on when Blaze is LITERALLY RIGHT THERE IN THE BACKGROUND OF THIS SCENE.

Why won't they let Blaze talk to Aaron? It's so infuriating. The closest we get is in episode 7 when Blaze attempts to calm down Aaron, but he's shown to be ineffective and it comes down to, of course, Aphmau being the one to talk him down. I swear to Hatsune the writers are making fun of me at this point. They're going "Oooooh you want Blaze to be an actually helpful and supportive figure in Aaron's life soooo bad." AND I DO!

I'm serious when I say the show is teasing me. I've been skimming through Season 5 and only watching the episodes when Blaze is on screen, and so far he has never been in a scene with less than 4 people in it. Never. And even in scenes where he gets to be at least a focal point, he's always limited because he has to share that moment in the spotlight with FOUR OTHER CHARACTERS.

Episode 14 is a great example of this. When the werewolf gang gets told they aren't allowed to eat at a restaurant because they're werewolves, Blaze makes it abundantly obvious that he's put up with this before and really doesn't feel like being hate crimed on his vacation. And he knows that actions speak louder than words and therefore joins Maria in saying they should "teach this establishment a lesson." Personally I think Blaze would've just thrown the manager through a window only to realize it's an outdoor establishment and throw him into the ocean. Which would be objectively funny and deserved because that owner was being cringe and racist.

I love the conversation that happens because it shows the unique way that Aaron sees things from passing as a human for most of his life. This has never happened, but he knows that further acts of violence as a result will only make it happen again. This is a great scene for Aaron. Not really good for Blaze, and the next scene makes him worse. I love the detail that Blaze is an instinctual person more than a planner, but it feels wrong that he doesn't even let Aaron consider planning. I know he wants Aaron to be more spontaneous but he should have more awareness of his friend and his habits and be able to accommodate it, not talk over it.

But it's Jesson, so misunderstanding even their simplest character is par for the course. At least episode 15 gives me Garroth and Blaze talking in the background, and I'm starved for good Blaze content, so I was eating this shit up. The problem with watching MyStreet this way is that Blaze... Just doesn't get a lot of moments... At all. There are some episodes where he doesn't even speak at all, and when he does get to talk in episodes, he gets a few lines in one giant ensemble scene.

I don't object to a show having an ensemble cast, or even a lot of characters with a few central ones, but it really is a detriment to the show that Aaron never gets a scene alone with any werewolf he isn't related to. Nana gets to talk to Blaze when she's having a crisis of her relationship history and experience, but it's just so Blaze can tell her the opposite of what she wants to hear. It's not a scene that feels like it was written for Blaze, because it wasn't. It was written for Nana.

And before some jack ass says it "Blaze is a side character he's not supposed to get a lot of focus" and I'm not asking for a lot. I watched every scene he's in in PDH to prove that it works

BECAUSE IT DID.

Blaze showed up officially in episode 18 out of 30, and he wasn't in every episode after his introduction. But the writers gave him a solid introduction, one good episode that spent most of its run time with him, and really good moments throughout the rest of his time in the series. All I'm asking is that Season 5 at least give me one of those things. Either a good episode where he and his relationship with Aaron is brought into focus, even if it's used as a vector to study Aaron's character, or just more sincere moments for him.

It feels like Blaze is a joke character now when he previously made it very clear he's far more than that.

And then they just forget about him. During the first part of the 3 part finale Blaze is there. He's the one who got everyone to gather at the docks because an mf wants to eat some scrumptious food. But when Aaron sees Ein and starts freaking out, Blaze is literally just not in the scene. At all. Not even as like a throwaway of someone who could've helped but failed, he just is not in the scene at all. It legitimately feels like the writers forgot about him entirely.

Blaze the minute the plot shows up:

He's there after Garroth gets turned and was apparently at Garroth's bedside trying to calm him down which I will be thinking about. A lot. I'll be thinking about how we deserved to see or at least hear some of it, about how the writers continue to tease me with an interesting scene that involves my favorite little fucker, about how heartbreaking it would have been to see Blaze and Melissa try to calm Garroth only for him to scream in pain and try to push them away only to reveal that Zane and Nana are able to hear the entire ordeal downstairs and Zane is panicking when he hears his brother screaming in pain. Just thinking about what we could've had if the writers actually cared about any of these characters.

And then after that he dies.

I'm not watching any of When Angels Fall because I know what's good for my health. I know what happens in Season 6 Episode 9 and that's all I need to know. It doesn't matter if the writers may have finally given Blaze an emotional scene, it doesn't matter if they finally gave him even a hint of character development, it doesn't matter if he made a connection in a real way. Because no matter what he did the result is the same. No matter what quality the writers might've pulled out of their ass, it would ultimately be in service of one end. From the start of this season these writers knew what they wanted to do. They wanted to up the stakes and add more drama to the show, and they wanted to do it by killing Blaze.

And I think I know why.

This is 100% a limited view, but I was on Aphmau Instagram at the time that this season was airing. And I ran a Blaze fan account. I talked to a lot of MyStreet fans during this time and I was constantly upset and disappointed that people didn't understand Blaze's character, or just didn't appreciate it as much as I do. Most people liked Blaze on a very surface level, or because he was attached to another character they liked. I found very few people who genuinely cared about him as an individual, probably because Blaze stopped getting scenes alone by the end of PDH, and because the Aphmau fandom (at the time) had more of a focus on shipping than character work and quality. Blaze was easily shippable with a number of characters, canonically shipped with Dottie a little, and had enough characterization that people cared about him, but not enough to get a large dedicated fanbase.

He was the perfect one to kill.

Enough people liked him because he was hard to hate, he was stapled onto Aaron's character with little regard for a story of his own, and his death could be eventually inconsequential. And it was! Blaze's method of dying is so bad it makes me physically angry!

I know the whole story for the last few seasons has been all about Forever Potions and turning people against each other, but just mind controlling Blaze and having him die while under mind control is such such a missed opportunity. There's been a disappointing lack of proper Aaron and Blaze friendship content, but they could have made up for it in this scene with just a few tweaks. Just have Blaze not be mind controlled at the end. He can still go on that rant about Aaron being the cause of all the bad that's happened, but then the words start to become... disjointed. Jilted. As if Blaze is struggling to say them because he knows that they're wrong. Aaron's his friend, there's no way he'd say that about him.

Have it break.

Have him look at his friend in a worse state than he's ever been in, and instead of approaching him with intent to harm, it's intent to heal. A final attempt at getting through to Aaron. And like the times before, it doesn't work. Aaron's angrier than ever and he isn't seeing or thinking straight thanks to Ein's bull shit. All he can see is an enemy in his way. Maybe he sees Blaze's eyes but Blaze's green eye is still Emerald Green, even if the control broke for a moment. Whatever reason, Aaron still attacks.

He doesn't realize that Blaze wasn't trying to hurt him until it's too late. Aaron's anger already ruined a friend's life, it already pulled all of them into the hell they're in, and now it's killed one of his best friends.

ONE CHANGE. THAT'S ALL IT TOOK. ONE SINGLE CHANGE TO MAKE BLAZE'S DEATH ACTUALLY MEAN SOMETHING.

Ideally I'd like it Blaze just didn't die at all, least of all before the finale, but if you're going to kill him off unceremoniously at least make it have some emotional weight. You've been neglecting him for an entire season and now you just kill him off? Just like that? Oh he gets to show up in heaven? How nice. Is it a scene where he gets to express regrets, remorse, or even give any insight into his feelings?

Of course it fucking isn't! Are you kidding me, that's not even close to what happens. I said i wouldn't watch When Angels Fall but

I LIED!!

I watched Blaze's death scene and his scene in heaven to make sure I knew well and good how badly they failed to kill off my favorite character! And man, the scene in heaven is just the worst! Blaze does a genuinely kind thing for Aphmau and decides to stay with her when she's alone because he doesn't want her to hurt. He saw how much pain Aaron was in without her. He just wants to fucking help her.

But Aphmau's too self absorbed to realize that and instead goes on a whole rant about how she always needs other people to take care of or protect her and how everyone else would be better off yadda yadda. What she doesn't realize and what Blaze eventually gets to tell her is that people were around her and took care of her because they just wanted to. Because she was nice to be around. And they never expected anything else, and never saw her as a burden.

And that's actually a really nice moment. Sort of. There's two major problems. First, Blaze gets cut off from telling Aphmau this at first because Irene has to go on a whole rant about Aphmau being selfish. And she is right in everything that she says, but it feels weird for Irene, who literally doesn't know her, to be making this judgement. This scene should have been Irene observing a conversation between Blaze and Aphmau were Blaze just tries to make her feel better.

And that would hopefully solve problem number two. Which is that what Blaze says is very genuine and heartfelt, but severely handicapped by the fact that he and Aphmau were only friends for a short period of time in High School, and an equally short period of time within the last few months. What Blaze says about why he likes being around her is true, but it would have a lot more weight if there was a chance for Blaze to have been around her as a friend more.

Fuck it, if you need Blaze to be on screen with at least two other characters, why was there never a scene of Blaze, Aaron and Aphmau just talking? Would a single scene of that fucking killed you? Just one scene would have made their friendships a lot more solid and therefore heartbreaking to lose when it gets torn apart.

Third problem, the scene ends with a focus on Irene. Blaze's words echo in her ears, and remind her of her friends. And I like that idea because I'm an absolute sucker for MCD, but it takes the scene away from the focus. This should be a scene about one of Aphmau's friends encouraging her to not give up even if it all seems lost. At least don't let her death be in vain by saying such awful things about her friends while they may be grieving. But Irene is brought into focus again because the show isn't about Blaze, or Aphmau apparently, I guess her Aphmau Main Character Powers overrides Aphmau's. She has more experience with them.

Blaze and Aphmau's very heartfelt dialogue is brought down by the fact that these two characters lives didn't intersect very directly out of high school. Through the course of Season 5 I never got the idea that Blaze was Aphmau's friend. Not to say they weren't friendly, I think Blaze adored her just as much as he did in high school, but as a viewer I was never shown that they cared particularly for one another. I believe that Blaze sincerely cared about her even after all this time, but that's not because of anything the writers did with him in these seasons. It's just because that's the kind of person Blaze is.

But their friendship not being strong really weakens the scene. This is a scene that I know for a fact worked as intended when I watched it as it was coming out. I was an overemotional mess of a 15 year old who hated how this series was going but kept watching it because it was almost over and I might as well get it done with. It pulled on my heartstrings and they sang and I cried. I cried a lot. This scene made me incredibly emotional, and it still got to me as an adult, but the devil is in the details.

Blaze and his arc might work on the surface. They work if you don't pay that close of attention to it. They work if you care more about the characters he's constantly around more than Blaze. And when I first watched Seasons 5&6, I still had a very deep attachment to a lot of these characters, especially Melissa, who he shares a lot of scenes with. So I felt... satisfied? I would've liked more, but I probably wouldn't have complained about what I got (his death scene not withstanding I always thought that was bad).

My my, how the times have changed.

If it wasn't obvious from the four thousand or so words you just read, Blaze is a rather unique case of these writers failing as writers. A rather unique case where the perfect character to fix a lot of problems with their show practically jumped up in the air waving his arms around and they still brushed past him to focus on a predetermined story he was shoved into. I don't think the writers ever really had a plan for where Blaze would go or what he would do.

A lot of Blaze's best character moments are when he isn't being written by Jesson. The reason I love the minigames so much is because there, Blaze's incredibly talented voice actor Jason Lord is actually really funny and pretty good at improv. Obviously some bits of the mini games are scripted, but a lot of them are just seeing how much voice actors can get into their characters, which he's fantastic at. A lot of Blaze's funniest moments come from this too, which is great when the writers turn him into a comedy character but the characters voice actor is funnier than they both are and is only a funny character when they don't have direct control of him. Lord is able to bring life to a character who may have been lacking it due to the simultaneously focused and unfocused way the series was written.

Blaze is proof of what happens when writers don't bother to develop their characters beyond the outline. The draft notes for PDH Season 2 said "there's going to be a wolf character who tries to become Alpha and instead stands up for Daniel when he's bullied." and then Blaze was born. The writers gave him some characterization as a treat to make the story work better, and then were done with it then and there. We fleshed him out enough, good character, time to put him in season 5 so people stop criticizing us for not giving Aaron enough friends.

But the problem wasn't a lack of quantity in friends, it was a lack of quality. It was a lack of scenes that let Aaron interact with other characters without Aphmau present. It was a lack of characters to point to that were real emotional connections Aaron had that weren't his last minute family or his girlfriend. It was a lack of attention given to the few characters that could've filled that role. Dante almost filled it in season 2, and Aaron and Garroth could have arguably become closer after everything in season 4, but at that point Aaron's entire arc became centered around Aphmau.

It was the fact that Blaze was one of the few people who ever directly reached out to Aaron and then was never given a scene alone again. It was because the writers wrote too many characters, tried to give the series a more direct focus, and then failed to account for the characters that were dragged along even if they didn't necessarily know what to do with them.

So when Season 6 came around and they decided to make the show super serious no really stop laughing, they needed characters to kill off to up the stakes. It's not like Blaze's character was going anywhere. It's not like they had a plan for him. Nothing was really being lost.

It's not like Blaze was one of the most sincere and dedicated characters in the series. It's not like he had one of the biggest potentials in regards to his relationship with Aphmau or Aaron. It's not like there was time spent proving that he could be a solid pillar of support in both of their lives even under dire circumstances. It's not like he was set up that way through individual scenes where he got to talk to each of them on a personal level. That definitely didn't happen.

TLDR: MyStreet peaked at season 2 and they fumbled the bag with the best chance to make it peak even higher and I'm forever bitter about it. Now get out of my house.

[potentialguybodyswaps]

College Cool Kid Swap:

Dude what? You’ve jerked off already and wanna blow me so the swap becomes permanent?

Bro listen, I get it, it’s been like 2 weeks, your probably just horny, you sure you wanna do this? I’ve done my side of the agreement and I haven’t jerked off or anything, passed your test for you… You sure you wanna suck my dick? You’ve already jerked off in my body so The moment I cum this becomes permanent

“Ya bro, I know, I mean being stuck in your nerdy body would kinda suck but I’m sure I can workout and get back on the track team, I’m not gay but if I was ever gonna suck dick, I’d suck off my own body, that’s not gay right? Technically it’s just self pleasure” he said

“Shiiit I guess” I said pulling my shorts down letting my already hard dick flop out, smiling happy at the thought I get to remain as Caden.

“Oh my god okay here we go, just lemme know when your about to cum, I wanna swallow my own load” he said seeming exacted and taking off his glasses before deciding to go down on my 7 inch rod

It’s only like a inch and a half bigger than my old one, but not like I got to put it to use much, only girls that liked me back were the nerdy ones, and they didn’t quite get me hard like the current girls I can pull as Caden

Caden was going down on me like a pro, it’s almost like he knows what he’s doing or he’s thought every moment and action of this out

Halfway though blowing me he tries to go all the way down and take in my whole shaft but had to come back up and gag, guess I hit his gag reflex, I’ve never done that to anyone, that’s so awesome that I’m big enough now to make bitches gag

He went back to sucking only about 2/3 of it making sure to try and wiggle his tongue as much as possible playing with my head

“Oh shit Caden I’m about to cum” I said rubbing my chest and stomach feeling my weak abs up and down (hey abs are abs, I never had any before!)

it’s like I could see the look of fear on his face as he came up completely letting my cock flop out and just said”I’m sorry Danny, I’ve thought about it and I don’t think I wanna do this, I mean don’t get me wrong, your not the worst looking nerd on campus, and your not as small as I thought you’d be, but I don’t know if I wanna give up my life and my friends, you understand right?”

I stared down at him as he put my glasses back on his face and got up

“That mother fucker, just gonna tease me like this and then take it away from me?” I thought to myself as I felt testosterone and adrenaline running though me

“Ya I said” smiling though gritted teeth

Lemme walk you back to your dorm and we can do the spell there to swap us back” i said wrapping an arm around him and walking in the direction of my actual dorm

“Thanks”he said

We ended up walking though a field taking a shortcut, halfway though the field I realized no one was around, and my dick was still throbbing, that I had propped up via waistband of my shorts so it wasn’t obvious that I was copping a boner

I decided to make my move. I got behind Caden and moved my arm putting him in a choke hold

“What are you doing” Caden barely manage to get out due to me crushing his wind pipe

“I’m gonna blow my load all over your face, since you wanted it early” i said

“W-what?” Caden manage to get out before going limp

I laid his body on the ground and got on my knees pulling my shorts down letting my dick flop out again. I took my right hand and begun furiously jerking off before anyone would come wondering and see what I was doing

Right as I was about to cum I got closer to Caden’s face and aimed for his open mouth and muttered the words I said earlier “ oh shit Caden, I’m about to cum” this time since he was unconscious there was no facial change and I began busting ropes upon of ropes of cum, I got a few In mouth and decided to finish the rest on his face as punishment for not letting me finish the first time

“Ughhhh” I sighed

“Thanks for letting me finally cum after 2 weeks and agreeing to make this permanent, your the best Danny. hope you really enjoy your new life, nerd” I said laughing leaving him in the field to go back to my new dorm where I plan on jerking off all night with my new awesome dick and track build feeling my new tight body/abs

#edit please Tip if you like the story 👉🏼👈🏻🥺

[pumpkinsy0]

fuck it, more Purly Haitian vacation thoughts:

On the first day, Ponyboy got sunburnt to all hell. Yeah he was made fun of for it, but whatever they gave him wasn't regular aloe, it was better.

Runs out of clean clothes (he didn't have much to pack anyway) so he makes due with the clothes given to him (and insisted he keep and bring to america)

Curly jokes he'd look cute in a karabela. Pony doesn't know what that is and just rolls his eyes.

Sandals! Everyone wears them. Ponyboy watches fondly as Curly's aunt weaves him a pair, asking him if he likes the color purple, which he responds "Wi Matènèl." Just like Curly taught him.

The mornings come early and while Curly would love nothing more than to lay in bed all day with Pony, he does want to wake up early and take him for scooter rides. Ponyboy holds on to him tightly as they weave around corners. Curly is in heaven.

Ponyboy is interested in the literature and art of Haiti and loves the bright colors of the homes. He loves their cheap art galleries and after dinner he's read to in Kreyole first and then English second because he wants to try and learn what stories are being told to him.

Darry has asked him to call if possible. There's only one phone avaliable and it's at "the big house." it costs a lot of money to call but The Shepards don't bat an eye giving him the coins he needs to tell his brother he's okay and what his day was like.

Curly avoids all questions asked to him about family back in America. He can't stomach the thought that his relatives think he's living it up and couldn't be further from the truth.

He hates America. Hates the racism. Hates their stupid laws. He hates how their mother left this beautiful place to chase a man that doesn't give a hang about them.

Curly needs a cigarette. On the porch, he pauses:

Ponyboy is given a pretty red and yellow choublack flower crown (cause it's still the 60s) and is out on the street with a bunch of Curly's younger cousins who ask him to draw on the sidewalks with them. Ponyboy never got the opportunity to be a big brother, so it's all fun and games with him. It's lightly raining, a sunshine shower. Ponyboy is smiling, laughing and singing along to some child's song, slightly butchering the words.

Curly is whipped at the sight.

i JUST woke up to this absolute GEM of an ask im going insane im like a dog with zoomies after a shower another BANGER anon ask about haiti omg

AND AND I WANNA ADD MORE THOUGHTS☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽

•the shepards has family in the countryside of haiti, and they have a fucking donkey and that thing would nibble on ponys shirt everytime he came near and it was ALWAYS him and him alone like dude???fuck of?????

•pony would LOVE ti kawòl (its this ice cream in a bag thing, comes in different flavors) but he likes it when its melted so he literally WAITS till its a liquid again, pokes a hole in the bag and drinks it and curly, tim, angela, and their family think hes so WEIRD for that

•curlys aunt is always making malta ak lèt (just means malta and milk) and its curly, pony, and the younger cousins fault that its always gone within a few days like my god

•theres a good chunk of reptiles in haiti and curly used to spend his time catching the fuckers when he still used to live in haiti, and ik he took pony to the best places he would find em, however outside of that sometimes pony would find them on accident and his body would take a ss

•kite flying is pretty important, i think pony and curly should be allowed to make their own cool looking kite at least once

•tim and curly were def stealing cool looking plates from their aunts and was forcing pony to be apart of it, he was a mess trying to keep it together

•OHOH sometimes they would have to ride tap taps (just look it up im WAY to lazy to explain it) and pony was a bit nervous bc theres rlly no specific individual seats and no seatbelts, so curly would hold onto him to make him feel safer so gay

•pony def accidentally got some mannerisms from his time there, this is more of a “if u get it u get it” thing, but if yknow that look ur haitian elder gives u when they catch u doin some stupid shit and they just stand there w their hands crossed???yea pony started doing that LMAOOO

•angela made pony this bracelet w seashells, she was makin em w her fav aunt :3

•the whole family went to the beach and curly hit pony w a wet sandbl and IMMEDIATELY fell and got a cut on his knee by a seashell and i promise u, when there was a collective sound of “gade” (means look in creole) in a ‘well thats your karma’ way, i mean it

•pony and curly both have to share a place on the couch to sleep on so they r just all up on each other by the time 4am rolls around

•curly has this scarf thats used in haitian folklore dances and he is NOT using it to dance, hes using it to pull pony in by the neck or hips, i can feel it trust me on this

•one of the shepards family members is a snack vendor, like the kinds w the snack cart right outside schools, and they would always get free snacks, in return they helped w the homemade snacks they sold, but that goes as well as it can w pony and curly making food, they r NOT allowed to make fresco again

•curly would climb treats for fruits pony wanted he def would

•pony brought the gang lil souvenirs :P

[sadhours]

scumbag blues • battery acid

gator tillman x f!original character

previous chapter • masterlist

cw: 18+minors dni, unsolicited dick pics/videos, mean texts, drinking, kind of smut??? Gator tries

Daisy’s depressed. She’s been turning away clients left and right. The money from Roy keeps the bills paid but it’s tighter than before and her pops has noticed. Says something about it when Daisy’s cooking him lunch.

“I don’t know why things have taken such a turn, Daisy,” he sounds stressed. “We haven’t had a single guest in two weeks.”

“It’ll turn back around,” she assures him, “always does.”

Her mothers voice rings in her ears. Same mantra about how women have to take care of things. How women have a magic money maker between their legs and they’d be fools not to take advantage.

Her phone vibrates in her pocket, she pulls it out and looks down at the notification. Gator. Hasn’t had the guts to block him like she should. She slides it open and is met with a photo of his cock. Hard as hell. He’s on his bed, she can see his cargos bunched up around his ankles and his combat boots. He’s sent You can’t quit me, baby along with the photo and she hates the way it ignites a flame in her stomach. She locks her phone and shoves it back in her pocket, resuming the can of tomato soup she’d been heating up. She wishes Gator would just give it up. There’s plenty of other women for sale in this county. But she knows he likes her. Their sexual chemistry is undeniable. And she’s certain Gator hasn’t been with any other woman. Yet, she doesn’t even know how many men she’s been with. It’s unfair. She can’t quit this. And that’s what Gator deserves, so she’ll have to quit him.

She butters up the bread for grilled cheeses, determined to get out of this funk and start taking clients again. Her mother would tell her she’s pathetic. Gator’s always been a client, he started out as such and it’d be laughable to think they could be more. It’s a god damn pipe dream and they both know it.

—

When Daisy reads his message but doesn’t respond, Gator gets furious but his cock is still hard. The arousal mixed with the anger facilitates in a bit of harassment on his end. He records himself jacking off, mumbles about how he knows she wants him. How she’s gonna watch it later and play with her pretty pussy. Which he fully believes. Records himself cumming, muttering, “Wish I was cumming in your tight hole, baby.”

Again, Daisy opens the messages and doesn’t respond. And now that Gator’s cock is softening, the anger takes over and he sends a handful of messages.

Whatever, bitch. Ur not even pretty. Just fucking easy.

Ur used up.

Probably should get tested. God knows ur fckn infected. Nasty slut.

Fuck u bitch

Then, Gator realizes these won’t help his case in any way so he sends another.

I’m sorry. Just miss u and I ain’t good at controlling my temper

The last message never delivers and Gator’s feeling like a pathetic loser with his cum drying on his stomach. Cleans himself up and grabs his keys. He needs to get as drunk as humanly possible. Fuck, he doesn’t care that it’s only noon. This pit of dread filling him needs to be released and alcohol can dull it. The Esquire Club opens at 10 am. He’ll be with like minded company. And well, if it’s two blocks from the Inn, that’s just a coincidence. He isn’t hoping that Daisy’ll wander in desperate for money. Definitely not.

The place is dead when he gets there aside from a couple of dudes rambling about sports. Gator doesn’t keep up with football anymore. Too bitter about high school. He would’ve been scouted, out of this shithole and never would’ve touched Daisy Way if that prick hadn’t busted his ankle. Swears if he ever sees that fucker again, he’ll kill him.

The hours drone on, Gator filling his belly with cheap whiskey and countless beers. Is absolutely stumbling around when the sun goes down. There’s girls in here tonight. Ones that know Gator’s the sheriff’s son, girls that touch his biceps and ask if he’s ever had to shoot anyone. He tells grandiose stories, fibbing on the extremities. Yeah, he sees a ton of action. Yeah, Gator’s a fucking badass. He’s a fucking winner.

He gets one of the girls in the bathroom, a brunette with heavy makeup and a short skirt. Has her leg propped up on the graffitied toilet. Limp dick in his hand as he tugs it, pleading internally for it to fill out but it just fucking won’t. He knows it’s the whiskey, his whole body is fucking numb. But he can’t help but think that if this were Daisy bent over for him, he’d be hard as a rock. It’s pathetic and it’s weird, but he grabs hold of the girl's hair and tugs her head back so he can grunt into her ear.

“You want me to fuck you, Daisy? Huh?” he laughs, “Want me to stretch you out so bad?”

“My names not Daisy?” the girl replies, confusion dripping in her voice.

“Shh,” he hisses, pulling on his cock and focusing on the fantasy, trying to will his dick to life. Nothing. He balls his fist up and slams it against the stall, “Fuck!”

He shoves his flaccid length back into his cargos and barrels out of there. Leaving the girl stunned and exposed. He’s a fucking loser. If he goes by the Inn, it’ll be pummeled into his head what a fucking loser he is. Somehow, he winds up at Faye’s apartment building. Hits the buzzer. Over and over until he hears her sleepy voice.

“Who is it?”

“Faye, it’s me— er,” he hiccups, “Gator. Can I come up?”

“Gator, it’s the middle of the night,” she sighs, “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Please,” he whines, hates how pathetic he sounds, “I have nowhere else to go. I won’t be fucking weird. Okay? I just… please, Faye.”

A beat of silence. Then the buzz and a green light. Gator tugs the door open and stumbles inside, looking down the hall until a door opens. Faye steps outside, rubbing her eyes and she’s wearing a long, flowy nightgown. She lets him inside and because of his intoxicated state, he clings onto her and fucking cries. Like the pathetic loser he is. But she wraps her arms around him.

“Gator, what happened?”

“I’m… I’m such a fucking loser,” he sobs, “I ruin everything.”

Faye squeezes him tighter, rubs his back soothingly. “Oh, Gator…”

She pulls back and puts her hands on his face, “I’m gonna make some tea. Sit on the couch and we’ll talk about it. Okay?”

She’s so good. So pure. So sweet. Gator hiccups and nods, moving to rub his fists against his teary eyes. Then he trudges to her living room, waiting for her to return.

[blueicequeen19]

Patience is Virtue Pt. 2

Warnings: stalker Rafe, finger action in a car

Part Three

It’s been two days since she told me she had a child and fled. I stood on her doorstep for another ten minutes before I followed her to see for myself.

I watched from a far as she went to Scooter’s widows house and picked up an infant. Not just a kid. An infant. In a fucking carrier and everything.

For a moment I’m defeated. This changed things. But as I watch her load up her child and drive back to her apartment, I realize there’s nothing stopping me. I’m in. She could have ten kids and severe debt and buck teeth. I didn’t care.

If anything I had more to gain now.

A family.

Which brought up the sudden thought of the child’s father. Where was he and how do I keep him out of the picture? I’m suddenly thrown into a fantasy of her swollen and pregnant with my child. I’ve heard pregnant pussy is the best pussy and now my dick is painfully hard. Blue balls were a pain in the ass, even worse when you’re driving.

I can’t stay away now. So like a creep, I wait until it’s well after midnight and the lights are all off before I climb up the sketchy fire escape. There’s nothing more than a sheer curtain over her bedroom window and I can see right in. There’s a crib up against one wall next to her dresser and a mattress and box spring against the other wall.

The urge to steal them both away and give them everything is strong. She deserved better. Suddenly there’s a wail like nothing I’ve ever heard before and she bolts upright in bed then throws the blanket off as she goes to the crib. Her ass is covered in nothing but a tiny pair of panties and an oversized shirt hangs off her shoulders. I palm my cock through my jeans, willing the fucker to go down for a second.

I watch as she tugs the shirt down and shoves her nipple into the banshees mouth. I’m mesmerized by the act. And jealous. Now I want those nipples in my mouth and to know what she tastes like.

I pull my cock out, the pain too much to bare. She tugs her shirt off like she’s hot, leaving herself in nothing but her panties and I nut in less than five strokes. Like a horny fucking teenager who just got to second base. But fuck did it feel good. So good I almost groaned out loud, giving myself away.

I can’t look away even after wiping off my hand, although most of my cum went between the metal grates, and tucking myself away. My dick was still hard and I was still enchanted by her. It was beyond beautiful seeing her as a mother.

I had to have her. I didn’t care how or why or when but I would. I needed to find out if she was on any birth control. Where the kids father was. Then get her pregnant with my spawn as soon as possible. And keep her that way. I wanted a fucking football team of her babies.

She’d be mine. One way or another.

The next day I get cornered by Kelce over my sudden disappearance all the time. He’s worse than a high school kid over drama. I wish the fucker had a hobby or a life outside of intruding on mine and bumming coke off me. The only reason I keep him around is because of his family ties and he’s handy in a fight. Other than that, I’m not sure where his loyalties lie.

"Dude, you've been distant for weeks. Where the fuck have you been? You never respond in the group chat. You’re never home." Kelce presses, following me down the stairs and into the kitchen. Maybe I could trip him and get away with it.

"Some of us work, Kelce." I snap. Breakfast is laid out on the counter but I don't eat anything. I needed to save my stomach for the diner when I see her but Kelce dives right in like the mooch he is. His plate is piled high as he sits down and I know this is my only chance to leave without being followed. Food and pussy is all he cares about.

"You don't work. It's a chick isn't it? You getting some pussy, Rafe?" Just hearing Kelce talk about her sets my teeth on edge. I'd rather knock his teeth down his throat.

"No, it’s your mom. Now fuck off." Kelce glares at me with his mouth full of food but I ignore him as I turn around and walk out. I was going to have to start driving a different car. One less noticeable because Kelce will no doubt try to find out whatever I'm up to. Ward and Rose are in the Bahamas again so I take her car. No one gives a shit about a plain sedan.

Thirty minutes later, I show up at the diner. The door chimes as I walk in and her head jerks up from across the room to look at me. I smile and she blushes. I take that as a good sign so I sit in my usual spot and wait for her while I glance over the menu that I already have memorized.

I smell her perfume before I see her although my body is so drawn to hers that I can feel her approach. She steps behind the counter and turns in a ticket before grabbing a mug and filling it up, adding my cream and sugar for me before sitting it in front of me with a nervous smile.

"Hi."

"Hi, doll." I sip my awful coffee as her cheeks pink up. Now that she's directly in front of me, I can see the exhaustion written on her face. Her lids are heavy but she maintains a smile. Another customer walks in and I mentally roll my eyes as she scurries off to help them.

When she comes back around to me, I’m fighting the urge to bend her over the fucking counter and bury my cock in her until she cries.

“What’s wrong, Rafe?” She asks, eyes wide and frantic. I must look like an animal right now.

“You need to take a break. Right now.” My voice is barely more than a growl but honestly I don’t care if I’m scaring her. She cocks her head for a moment before locking eyes with another waitress and giving her a nod.

“I’ll meet you out back?” She says, backing away slowly and disappearing through the staff door. I pull the car around back and park so I’m facing away from the building. She gets in, looking incredibly frightened but I don’t have it in me to care as I grasp the back of her neck and smash our lips together.

If she’s startled, she doesnt act like it because her hands immediately tangle in my hair and she’s up on her knees in the seat to get to me. My tongue dominates her mouth just as much as hers does mine. Teeth clank together. Lips are bitten. I’m all but consuming her through her mouth when she finally pulls her lips away, gasping.

Her eyes are watering and those perfect lips quiver like she’s about to cry.

“You came.” She whimpers, tears spilling and stealing the air from my lungs. I’d kill for her.

“Why wouldn’t I? You think a baby would keep me away?” Her eyes narrow for a second at my slip up. She never said it was a baby. Just that she had a kid.

“I saw the base in your car. I just assumed.” I add, seeing her visibly relax so I tuck some stray hairs behind her ear and cup her face.

“Rafe, this is so new. So sudden. I can’t seem to fight it though. I feel so drawn to you. Like you see me when no one else does.” I kiss her again, ready to fuck her for the first time in this car.

“I only have ten more minutes.” She whispers against my lips. I take that as my green light to plunge my hand between her parted thighs and up her skirt. Her panties are soaked. I barely brush over her clit and she’s moaning loudly, bucking her hips.

“When was the last time you were touched?” I growl, tugging her panties to the side and cupping her pussy in my palm.

“When I got pregnant.” She pants, grinding herself against my hand. I growl low and long. I needed to claim her. Mark her. Own her. Impregnate her. But we didn’t have time right now.

“I’m going to fuck you eventually. Long and slow then fast and hard. I’ll make sure you scream and cry my name every single time you cum and you’ll soak my cock and my sheets. No one else gets to touch you or look at you the way I do. You’re mine.” I plunge two fingers inside her and she cums instantly, fisting my shirt in her tiny hands while her face pinches up in ecstasy. It’s my new favorite thing.

“That’s it. My dirty girl. Letting me finger your tight little pussy on break.” She’s not finished her first climax before she’s thrown into another, her cries growing more high pitched until my ears ring.

I love it.

She gushes all over my fingers. Her cheeks are flushed, his lips wet and parted, her eyes squeezed shut in bliss. All from me.

When her eyes finally open, all dazed and droopy, I finally withdraw my fingers and don’t break eye contact as I suck them clean in my mouth. She shudders.

“Can w-we meet again after my shift? I feel like we should talk.” She murmurs, sitting back in her seat as she fights to catch her breath.

“Absolutely. But just so you know, I’m not going anywhere.”

Even if she wanted me too. There was no way I could let her go now that I’d tasted her.

[allycat75]

Some dos and (mostly) don'ts for the upcoming Comic Con, Boston Dumb Fuck.

So I don't know if your handlers have had a chance to program you for the event yet or if they are waiting for a software update, but here are some tips for your trip to Seattle.

When you smile, try to have it reach a little up your face. You could scare the children with your hollow, soulless eyes. You may have become an automaton, but these people paid good money so try to look and act like a human male. And stay off the weed- makes any chance of a sparkle disappear.

When speaking, try to avoid the "ok" sign, or even the Italian thing you do sometimes with the fingers together (🤌)*. It's too close to the sign the smug wifey likes to flash with her close Nazi buddies. You are already tied to her and carry around a certain amount of shame for that, don't need to make it worse by appearing like you are a true believer now.

Don't mention your inconsequential political site. These folks just want a picture with the dude who once played Captain America. They don't care about you and your vain extra curriculars.

At the same time, don't play too much into the Captain America role. You signed on for this fake marriage with the antisemetic, racist wifey to reset your image (I guess?) and you cannot claim any similarity or want for similarity or admiration for the character, when you embody everything he would be ashamed of.

Don't try to get your feminist street cred back by wishing people a good Women's History Month. That ship has sailed for you.

As much as I hate seeing that liars ring, keep your left hand out of your pocket. You look like you are diddling yourself and people don't need more reasons to try to label you as a p**vert. We all know you are an "alone guy" and maybe that is what you do back at the hotel, although with its dubious metal composition, I don't recommend getting that piece of jewelry too close to your junk. It could cause sterility...On second thought, whack away, rub, rub, rub with good old lefty. Do society a favor. You are enough of a child for you to raise.

Of course you could forgo the ring altogether (in unison "You could forgo the ring". Sorry, I had to do that. My dad trained me too well watching "Airplane"). Have the OFFICIAL break up announcement come out before the con. Garner some sympathy. Begin to remove all reference of her. But don't forget that this does little to clear your karmic debt or repair the pathetic shreds of your life. You have a long road to travel, if you chose to do better. Leaving this debacle is only the first step. No matter the narrative being told, the only thing for certain is that you are a major liar who has selfishly hid behind his privlege to get what he wants, no matter the collateral damage.

If you are in real trouble and are in need of serious help, send us the message by wearing your California cap and we'll come running. Maybe. You've been a real shit and may not derserve it. We'll have to assemble a coterie of mods to discuss your fate, like in a Wes Anderson movie. Any mods interested?

If, on the other hand, you are ok but would like to acknowledge you have been a manipulative, selfish sack of White Privleged shit who needs to actively work to become a trustworthy, authentic person and make amends, wear the NASA cap.

Well, that's all I can think of for now. Enjoy the coffee up there in the Emerald City, if you are into coffee that week, you Mercurial mother fucker! 👋

*PS- I would like to clarify that I am in no way equating one gesture with another. My intent was that, in this case, there is a likely possibility the Italian gesture could be taken out of context and skewed to look like the beginning of a WP sign because of BDF's association with the little Nazi twit. Photshop has been used before, why would it not be used for this nefarious purpose? Even these simple and inert gestures can become weapons in the wrong hands.

But I should have been more careful and I sincerely apologize to anyone I offended. I tell BDF to do better, but unlike him, I am not a hypocrite so I will follow my own advice. Thank you to those who politely called me out and I hope this helps.

[iliiuan]

~A whole episode about death. I'm intrigued.~

Babylon 5 s1e2 Soul Hunter

Aw, they made a shout-out to Asimov. I doubt his work will withstand the test of time. It's already fading.

Helllloooo doctor. You are yummy. (Oh, he was a soap actor. That explains everything.)

An unknown ship. The plot thickens.

Uh oh. Kamikaze or shipwreck?

Earth vs Minbari. Got it. 10 years ago, so not very long.

2258 seems sufficiently in the future that no one will be laughing at how overly optimistic the technology is. Probably end up being the other way, where they think it's funny people still use toilet paper or something.

In the 90s, it was like, why would Russia still be an uneasy ally in 250 years? They would totally be on our team by then. And now in the 2020s it's more like, is it possible for Russia to ever be an ally to anyone?

Nice bit of space dancing. I love when they get the physics right. They have the ship responding to the thruster burns. It's fucking glorious.

That grapple is a bit pathetic. Like a toy grabber at the fair.

Oh, lady with the crown skull is Minbari. Good to know.

Shak Tot. Soul Eater. Sounds delightful. Don't invite them over for dinner.

He's an ugly fucker, isn't he? Weird vagina forehead.

Delenn is distraught. She saw the boogeyman for real.

Are people really still falling for the three cup shuffle? Did they lose all the tropes between now and the future?

He's ugly *and* creepy.

Bizarre to believe that some people have a richer inner life than others.

Wow, they really wanted the Minbari leader's soul, didn't they? And the Minbari really didn't want to let them have it.

I like the Earther funeral rite. Not as good as Shienar's, but it's difficult to embrace the mother when you're floating in space. Although, you don't waste nutrients on a space station by jettisoning bodies out into space.

Your collection of souls are not your children that is so fucking creepy.

The complete difference in belief about what should happen with souls, whether death is permanent, how people should be honored in their death..... Obviously supposed to be an analogy for religions, but ostensibly in the b5 universe, there is an actual answer to who is correct? Like, dude has weird floaty crystal balls filled with other people's memories, so something real is happening. Does seem a bit selfish to keep all of those memories for yourself, though. It's like librarians gone mad scientist with a heavy dose of god-complex.

Uh oh. He's a rogue agent.

Satai. That's got to be important or Chekhov's going to be pissed.

The souls are angry with him? Fascinating.

Ooh, Delenn has Secrets.

"There's always time." Except that the inevitable heat death of the universe would disagree with you, but it's cool. You want to feel indestructible. I get it.

She's so happy to let the souls free.

I'm so happy to be alive.

[tearueful]

I don't have access to discord to dump in the right server but I must dump my brain because I need it oUT OF MY HEAD

and anyway, it's Homelander drabble ideas because of course

-and man I want to write a Soulmate AU with Homelander because GOD DAMN THE ANGST POTENTIAL WOULD BE DELICIOUS because he's so broken and doesn't even consider himself human and if soul mates were a thing would he even think he'd have one? Because the guy keeps saying he doesn't even have a birthday or a mother so why would he have a soulmate? Bad products don't get soulmates. It hurts because he wants a human connecting so badly. He wants to be loved so badly and a soulmate would be a guarantee of that.

This idea doesn't have legs because I can't decide on HOW soulmates would work because it needs to be in a NOT OBVIOUS WHEN BY YOURSELF thing cause OBVIOULSY if it was a mark/red string then he'd KNOW and stop at NOTHING to find them. That or it's the most generic word if it's one of those AUs where you're marked by the first word you speak to one another or something...but even then I could see Homelander being THAT sort of asshole to demand Vought find his soulmate or SO FUCKING HELP HIM ASHLEY FUCKING FIND THEM.

Also, a drabble of friends gossiping somewhere in Vought tower and one is bragging that they shacked up with a D-list supe or something and the Reader says, "WELL, I'm dating Homelander!" and because Homelander is Homelander he hears this and just pops up and is like "Hi babe, what's up? Why don't you give me a kiss" because Homelander kisses are fun All smug as hell because hey, look at this idiot mud person offering themselves up as a new toy for me? Time to fuck with them. Hijinks ensue. Sexy, sexy hijinks. Will keep this in my pocket when I just NEED to write some PORN.

ALSO ALSO, because of @/arealtrashact's Homelander puppy art just- WHAT IF HE WAS THOUGH? (Look at this shit) WHAT if Homelander got cursed to be a puppy and he get's picked up by some kind soul (Someone in The Boys, a rando??) and taken care of? He HATES it because he's a DOG and no one know it's him and he's being treated like an ANIMAL and he's so full of RAGE about that but then he get's scratched behind the ears and that feels fantastic. He just melts because that man is TOUCH STARVED and now he can get casual intimacy with no fear of it being a tool to control him. No, he's just being petted because he's such a pretty boy. Dude would be WEAK and maybe being a dog isn't so bad? Fucker would learn some fucking humility for certain and a lot more humanity. Princess and the frog that shit to change him back in the most hilarious way possible, too. Fluff, fluff, fluff. He'd be a velcro dog 300%.

Also someone in the discord mentioned an established relationship drabble idea where Homelander is all huffy because he's being ignored for video games and I just- adgikagdjascvhJHGVFHGAc WANT TO WRITE THAT TOO because no one can convince me that Homelander doesn't eat pussy like a PRO. That man goes down like he's STARVING, fucking drinks up his partner like a fresh glass of milk. Good luck ever getting him off of you. He's so broken that sex is the only way he knows to show his love with a romantic partner, so he PUTS HIS WHOLE SOUL INTO DRAINING YOURS. He'd be such a little annoying shit, "Oh no, Sweetheart. Keep playing your little game. Don't mind me. Oh, did you just die? What a shame." Maybe fucking flashing the heat vision in a blatant warning, "Keep playing." Since you know, you dared to ignore him and now you're going to suffer for it in the best worst way possible.

[skittsyteacup]

Tw vent. Not too hardcore on trauma just hardcore on description And stress (I don't think anyone reads these?? But if your ocs need trauma or issues ig????😭 This is just a convenient way to get things off my chest)

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Spades and diamonds am I so fuck stressed lately!! I start a new job today, cool. Best friend A is moving STATES AWAY in less than a month, that's hip. Best friend B has spotty availability due to recovering from a surgery, awesome sauce. My younger sibling is moving out in less than a month, chillin. I'm being kicked out before the year ends, fucking. Cool beans. dude. Jesus God damned Christ.

I don't want to love my family or need to be nice to them!! I just fucking learned that me and my younger sibling both dislike my mother!!!!! My older brother keeps trying to act like my dad at the worst. Fucking. Times. And I'm going NUTS.

Basically Everyone™ at my new job LOVES my mother.

When getting kicked out, it's probably either I take my cat or cats or they get put in a pound or left outside. Fuck. Fucked fuck fuck fuck fucker.

Like do I leave early or what. God damnit. Advice might actually be useful, Tumblr. I'll try to censor and explain easily.

NON TW STARTS HERE.

I'm 17 years old physically and I'm 18 on December 10th. I will be homeless but I have a couple options on housing.

A) I beg and beg and cough up all money to stay here with my mom, her fiance, and my older brother

B) I go live with my friend cat. Pros is I can bring my cat probably, cons are the transportation is unreliable and it's cramped.

C) I see if I can live with best friend b. Pros are I might get my own room or suchlike and I'm basically family, cons are my cat can't come I think.

My mental health isn't really the priority right now. I have a bit of things to take aka my clothing (about 1 large tote? Maybe), a 7ft shelf and the things on it, xbox, my bed if needed, and my stuffies(tote full). Other things are honestly sentimental or just small idk.

I'm still in school and I will be for at least 3 more years. Not including college, if I can go.

I make around $400 per check but this job pays less so it'll go down to about $250 I think?

I can't drive and I take medicine (prozac and meclizine), I'm also undiagnosed depressive and possibly (heavily) auDHD. I need to find a dentist too but wtvr.

On a list of things to do should I

A) start downsizing possessions to 3 totes max minus the shelf itself

B) start talking to cat about moving in, see how it'd work etc

C) pack a bit. Idk.

My options aren't a lot since my mom, who I'll start calling Diane now (not her first name it feels weird), places a 7pm curfew on me since I've been to a psych ward(self admitted). She tends to stick her nose in my business if I'm not too careful and anytime we're alone there's a 70/30 chance she'll mention me being kicked out and ask about it. I plan to keep being as secretive as possible, she isn't even aware of any arrangements or stress. She's not sheltering but she's not a good mom. It's a weird balance of careless and overbearing.

To inform more on my mom I'll write a separate post that'll probably be shorter but wtvr I'm just scared I guess. Mostly for my cat. He thinks I'm his mom or something so I'm scared that if I don't take him with me he'll die. Advice of any kind is appreciated, any questions too.

[noir-drabbles]

Anyone want to hear about a Samurai Drama dream I had?

This one kinda stood out to me for the fact it made me woke up emotional? It was weird. Warning, I ramble. I ramble a lot. And also my knowledge of samurai is poor so excuse that too.

The dream I had was weirdly a samurai drama? Twas in a class of wandering samurai who, while known as ronin, have skills that are pretty much unparallel and I just so happened to be one of their star pupils that they're teaching. Basically while it was a clear teacher student thing, there was also a familial bond among all of us cause all the students and adults have some kind of background that either required them to abandon their family or they were abandoned in turn. Anyways, during one of our travels, it was raining and we were near a river. Some of the adults ended up spotting a boy faced down in the sand with a sword at hand. He was sick but we took him with us and he eventually recovered. He was cold and absolutely refused to tell us where he came from or who he is but all we knew is that he refused to go home.

He's pretty in the way only a rich boy could be. You know, with the long hair, straight and cleared taken care of with skin way too clean and white, like he rarely spent a day outside. Even the callouses on his hands weren't as pronounced as they should be. He was blond for some reason? Well, it was a touch darker than blond but you get my point. Anyways...

Cue montage of me trying to befriend this dude who was, honestly, a big stuck up his own ass. He had the vibe of someone that came from a rich family, and had a bit too much confidence in his skills with the sword, but the boy was refusing to being more of a burden than he already is. Meaning, he refuses to eat anything he hasn't made or caught for himself. So, obviously, he wasn't eating enough, so I found a loophole and dragged that fucker with me to a forest to hunt, of which I obviously got the most kill and forced him to help me cook. There, food by your own efforts. Now eat fucker. And that's how we became friends.

He got softer with time, and as we traveled the adults managed to get us some time to spend at a library. Many of the others don't know how to read and the adults didn't want to leave them out. Turns out this was actually a distraction cause the adults ended up accepting this mission to get rid of a high official who's planning on expanding her influence by starting a one-sided massacre. My friend and I ended up overhearing, and turns out this high official ended up being his mother.

He has no father, just a mother who doesn't need a sword, just her own hands to get things done along with just a few other individuals. My friend wanted to kill his mother, or at least detain her for both the treatment he went through and for what she's going to do. Obviously, my friend didn't want to be left out on this attack and wanted a part of it. I ended up coming along with him as I too didn't want to be left out, but I also because whether the adults said yes or no, my friend would follow them. So, they said yes so long as we stick close to the adults.

So, the night comes and we sneaked into her compound. We're obviously not the only ronin there, a bunch more people were wrangled together cause this mission had to be done with as little error as possible. We found her in this small building that's been repurposed as a meditation room. My friend and I were there along with the adults, at the ready and willing to strike. I, however, had a real bad feeling about this cause of how smooth this missions been going. And, guess what? My instincts were right. Twas a traitor in our midst.

A traitor grabbed my from behind and gagged me just as my friend's mother burst out of her meditation room. Swords were swung, but she grabbed the closest one by neck, lifted them up and snap it went. she had a sword at her hip, but she really had no need for it. Really didn't help that our forces were cut by half and being restrained. I managed to get out of them somehow. Grabbed a sword that really wasn't made for me and tried my hand at slashing at her since I too was a bit arrogant for my own good, thinking I could somehow distract her long enough for the others to either run or hurt her.

Nope. She destroys my sword and nearly knocked me out. Punched me in the gut too. The only reason she didn't kill me was cause my friend freaked out and tried to get her to leave me alone.

Of course she would recognize her son. Kind of shocked he returned at all, but that's fine, at least she doesn't have to get pregnant and give birth again. Really only sees her son as an executor of her will and that his time outside really gave him false beliefs that he's somebody. He's nothing without her, all your skills, all your habits, all your speech and all your views, they come from her and you should be thanking her for it. You really shouldn't be thinking that you can have friends. In fact, you shouldn't have them at all.

Anyways, she didn't kill me cause she wanted him to watch while she does do so.

My friend, of course, after his whole journey of getting softer and less rough around the edges, gave himself up. I mean, he really softened up, I feel like he would be reading gentle poetry by a peach tree as the hours pass and would want to share his creations. And his mother kept true to her promise and let me go.

I remember that everyone got massacred besides me, my friend and literally two other adults. My friend stayed behind and I did start to run away. But after taking just a few steps, I couldn't. I couldn't willingly abandon him after all this time. So, dream self being dumb, willingly went back. And, of course, I was put in jail. Well, a private jail cell but still, jail. Twas an isolated thing. Didn't see anyone for nearly months on end. But then, the mother did come and decided to have me see her boy and the work she's done on him.

And it was horrid. I really don't know how to describe his face other than mutilated and stitched back together. Uneven fat, his nose wasn't even there anymore. The only things kept the same were his eyes and lips. His eyes man. Empty black pits. Given up on everything. Given up on all control of his life. I really had to hug him. And I hated that he didn't react. It hurt. I was apologizing over and over. And when he did finally lean against my hand, I was ripped away and man the mother was angry.

The dream ended with her deciding she's done with me and she's sending me off to ally of hers so that ally can have his fun. And I woke up with a lump in my throat.

[creature-wizard]

In The Illuminati Formula Used To Create an Undetectable Mind Controlled Slave, some fucking wild claims are made about L. Frank Baum and The Wizard of Oz.

The book claims that The Wizard of Oz is full of "satanic activity" and "satanic thinking." If you're baffled as to what this could possibly mean, remember that this is a book that claims Sleeping Beauty is about mind control. Anyway, it claims that the Illuminati has been using it to put people under mind control since the 1940's.

It also states that L. Frank Baum was a Theosophist (this is true) and claims that Hitler was also a Theosophist (this is not true) and implies a connection. Now yes, the Nazis were inspired by Theosophy, but they had their own thing going, and if you want to look into it you should check out The Occult Roots of Nazism by Nicholas Goodrick-Clarke.

The book also claims that MGM is building a Wizard of Oz themepark for reasons of mind control. Damn, it has been a hot minute since I've come across theme park conspiracy theories...

Anyway, the book asserts about the Oz series:

The books have so much material from inside the secret world of the Illuminati, that the few who understand the Illuminati wonder if Baum wasn't an insider.

...Fucker, you claim that literally anything that has even the remotest trace of magic in it is is Illuminati programming. Literally every piece of fantasy media is going to look like it contains "so much material from the secret world of the Illuminati." That's how your conspiracy theory operates; you train people to see signs of its existence everywhere by asserting that everything is a sign.

Anyway, the book gets its Adam West Batman on and makes a bunch of really dodgy claims about the supposed connections between The Wizard of Oz and the occult. For example:

Dorothy is brought to Oz by a cyclone. The word cyclone originally was the greek word cyclone which means both a circle or the coil of a snake. In other words, the snake takes Dorothy to Oz.

Literally what.

Also with the weird claim that green is Satan's color:

The colors and directions given in Oz may also have other symbolic meanings in the occult. For instance, Emerald City is green and green is the fourth point of the Eastern Star (women's Freemasonry) & Satan's color.

Dude... let's be real... it wouldn't matter how the city was, you'd link it to occult ideology, whether you found a plausible link or just pulled some shit out of your ass.

Also like, yes, Theosophy has a lot of issues, basically most of which come from Blavatsky having internalized a lot ideas about eugenics and thinking that Perennialism was the way to go, and also just generally thinking that making shit up about Eastern traditions was a thing to do. But just because The Wizard of Oz might have some Theosophical influence, doesn't make it inherently bad, because that's not how things work. Like, one of Theosophy's ideals is seeking spiritual truths. If someone was inspired to put that ideal into their story, it doesn't necessarily mean that their story is going to reflect each and every problematic thing about Theosophy.

Oh, and the book claims that Toto is Dorothy's familiar. And that the rainbow, with its seven colors, is an Illuminati symbol and hypnotic device. Supposedly the fact that Ms. Gulch and the witch are played by the same actress symbolize the double lives of Illuminati members. Which, if this is a pro-Illuminati book you gotta wonder why both of these characters are antagonists.

And at this point, I think it's pretty obvious that whoever is writing this is just making shit up to support their assertion that The Wizard of Oz is Illuminati programming, because this is just so random:

Several scenes involve transference of power via transference of slippers from a witch. In Illuminati ritual, to transfer power, a Matriarch, or Mother of Darkness will kill the person in a position of authority with a strike on the forehead with a special mace like staff, and then put on their slippers. Ruby colored slippers are actually used as a symbol of authority at the Matriarch level in the Illuminati. The shoes are said to be golden at the Mothers of Darkness level in the Illuminati.

Or maybe they're getting their wires crossed with Terry Pratchett, who knows. It's bullshit either way.

Oh, and by the way, the slippers in the book were silver, and were changed to ruby so they'd show up better on film. It wasn't deep.

Also, animism is bad now, because it's straight out of Druidism and the Illuminati believe trees have souls.

And then the book claims:

Dorothy kills the wicked witch of the west by a sharp blow to the forehead with the witch's staff.

Sure, dude. And Aslan turned into a giant octopus and Percy Jackson is the son of Mesperyian. Seriously, how do you just get basic facts about The Wizard of Oz so incredibly wrong? This is literally one of the most memed-upon scenes in movie history.

Anyway, it goes on, and it's all a bunch of ridiculous conspiracism. A lot of the time it really just looks like they took a scene from a movie and made up that sounded something like how they imagined this evil satanic conspiracy would work.

In any case, it all exemplifies the way conspiracists so often interpret media through the most hostile lenses possible. Overarching themes that normal people see in media, like the power of friendship, personal growth, coming of age, and all that just don't exist in in the worldviews they promote. Everything needs to have a secret evil meaning, everything has to have a twisted agenda. And don't get me wrong; there is a lot of media that holds very rancid ideas. But this kind of conspiratorial worldview isn't about analysis; it's about utterly dehumanzing and demonizing art. It's about creating a world where people are terrified of art and artists.