#much less dire version of that

[aaronsguccitie]

Stars

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Aaron and Jack take interest in your star shaped pimple patches.

Cw: fem!reader, mentions of periods, reader is pmsing, she’s also being kind of self deprecating, Aaron comfort!!, established relationship, fluff, Jack being a sweetheart

Word count: 1.6k

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The week before your period is, safe to say, never a good look. 

Adding to the ruthless turmoil of your volatile emotions, your face is lacking its usual glow. Pimples have broken out across your skin, blooming painfully along your jaw and cheeks, and you have to bite back a wince when you glimpse yourself in the mirror, the white tops of them shining unavoidably under the lights.

Salvation comes in the form of pimple patches. The stars at least make your face more pleasing to look at, so you stick to those instead of the near transparent circles.

Today you have to use five. 

Five. Across your cheek and on your jaw and one near your temple, shining right on the edge of your hairline.

The situation is too dire for you to wait till bedtime to leave them on overnight, so you stick the patches on after washing your face—though your expensive cleanser seems pretty useless right now—while late morning light filters in through the window. You’ve slept in; you always do when you’re pmsing. Aaron has gotten used to it in the two months since you’ve moved in, simply leaving bed with a kiss to your forehead and letting you sleep until your bones grow sluggish.

Pain already assaults every inch of your body, so you dress almost entirely in his clothes—his sweatpants and his socks and his warm, deep green sweater that smells faintly of him. It’s a small comfort as cramps wring their way through your stomach, and as you bite back a wince, you leave the room in search of the main source of comfort.

Unsurprisingly, he’s in the kitchen.

The familiar scent of coffee hangs in the air as Aaron looks down at his mug, shoulder blades popping out beneath his t-shirt as he stirs rhythmically. 

Quietly, the socks muffling your steps, you pad over to him and wrap your arms around his neck. Leaning against his back, you press your cheek to his, feeling his light stubble scratch your skin. Your tender chest doesn’t appreciate the pressure, but he’s warm and he smells like the sweatshirt times ten.

“Hi,” Aaron stops his stirring and kisses your knuckles. His lips are a balm, soothing and familiar; it’s in your head, you know, but the pain in your stomach almost eases.

“Hmm,” you hum in response. Aaron’s used to it. The socks you’re wearing slip on the floor as you bring yourself to his height, and you briefly tumble into him, making him knock against the counter.

A small oof of surprise leaves him. You wince, but Aaron’s laughing softly by the time he steadies himself and turns in the cage of your arms.

“Sorry,” you whisper as his hands circle your waist.

“S’okay.” He kisses you lightly and you taste the morning on his lips; traces of a previous mug of coffee, the lingering mint of his toothpaste, the sandwich he’d made himself alongside Jack’s.

A balm, you think again as he squeezes your waist with large hands that radiate warmth.

Aaron smiles as he presses a kiss to the tip of your nose. “What are these for?” He murmurs, gently thumbing at a star on your jaw. You lean into his hand as he carefully traces the edges of the pimple patch, a much lighter version of his usual frown pulling his brows together.

“To make me less hideous.” You say wryly.

The words make his dimples disappear. 

Aaron frowns—full Unit Chief mode this time. “Nothing about you is hideous.” He says, firm but soft as his thumb skates over your jaw. He looks almost disappointed in you, upset at your self deprecating tone.

It makes you laugh. 

“It’s okay, Aaron,” you lean forward and slot your face into his neck, partly to hide from his eyes. Looping your arms around his waist, you intertwine your fingers together to lock you to him. “I know I don’t look my best the week before my period—and during. You don’t have to lie to make me feel better about it.” But because he’s being sweet, you tilt your chin and place a kiss on his jaw.

“Honey,” he murmurs, and you can hear the frown as he tries to look down at you, “you think a bit of acne makes you look hideous?”

Safe to say, he’s in disbelief.

“Mmm, tragically so.” You bury your face in his warm chest. His heart thumps steadily beneath your ear, and when Aaron’s firm hands land on your shoulders to push you back, you let out a pathetic whine.

His honeyed eyes meet yours—god, they’re so warm you could sink into them. “Hey, listen to me.” His hands travel to cup your cheeks. You blink at him and hold back a smile, sensing that you’re about to be bullied into loving yourself. “If I pull these off,” Aaron traces the star on your cheek, “you’d be the same gorgeous person you are without them.”

It’s sweet, really. And he’s so adamant about it you can’t help but smile, a gentle warmth replacing the sharp stabs in your abdomen. 

“Really?” You tilt your head.

Aaron gives a small shake of his head, exasperated. “I know you don’t believe it,” he leans forward and gently presses his lips to the star on your cheek, “but I do.” His voice rumbles through your skin.

Aaron’s palms are endlessly gentle as they cradle your head, keeping you close while he kisses each of the stars on your face. His light stubble scrapes against your skin as he reaches for every single star, all five of them.

Suddenly it gets to you. His gentle tone, his soft touch. The press of his lips against your face, sealing his love over the small patches covering your acne.

Embarrassingly, your eyes start to water. 

You bunch up his shirt in your fists, twisting the material tightly against his skin. 

“Do you like making me cry?” There’s a lump in the back of your throat, insurmountable as Aaron tangles his fingers in your hair.

“Of course not.” His lips lovingly trace over your pulse. “I like proving you wrong, that’s all.”

It pulls a laugh from you, shaky and wet as you mutter, “Fucking asshole,” into Aaron’s rumbling chest, the laughter running through his body echoing yours.

****

“Quicker, Dad!”

“Okay, okay.” Aaron blows out a breath as he follows Jack into the arts and crafts aisle. “What was it you wanted?” He asks, trailing after his overexcited son.

“These,” Jack says gleefully, grabbing a packet of rainbow star stickers off the shelf. 

“That’s it?” Aaron’s brows raise. Jack’s been nagging him for weeks to go with him to the grocery store, pleading for a special something that he refused to disclose until now. He was expecting something a little more exciting.

“Yep.” Jack chirps.

Aaron’s confused, but it’s not unusual for a seven-year-old boy to be in want of star stickers. He doesn’t really think much of it, not until they’re home and he’s unpacking the groceries with you in the kitchen.

“Did you finally get what Jack wanted?” You ask as you prop open the fridge with your foot, sliding the milk and eggs onto the shelf. You’re yet again in one of his sweaters, the sleeves rolled up to your elbows because you’re due for your period any day now. Two stars dot your face today, on your chin and next to your brow.

It’s not uncommon these days to find you with stars kissing your skin. Aaron rather likes the way they stand out on your face, despite your mindset towards the acne they hide.

“Yeah,” he hums, sorting the cereals in the cabinet. “He wanted stickers.”

“All that for stickers? I would’ve thought—”

“Hi.” Jack’s face pops up sneakily when you close the fridge door.

Aaron notices the stickers on his face at the same time you do. There’s two of them; one on his chin and one next to his brow.

You bend down to get a proper look at them, a smile toying on your lips as you touch the sticker on his chin. “Hi. What’re these?” You ask, though Aaron’s pretty sure everyone in this kitchen knows what they are.

“Stickers!” Jack grins. “Like yours. We’re matching now, isn’t it cool?” He asks gleefully, two dimples carving in his cheeks.

Aaron sees your eyes start to shine, your control on your emotions at an all time low these particular days of each month. He sidles closer, ready to enforce damage control in case you burst into tears, but you beam back at Jack with minutely trembling lips.

“It’s so freaking cool, Jack.” You say, your voice breaking at the end.

Jack brightens and you ruffle his hair, leaning over to kiss his forehead and discreetly blink away the tears.

Aaron smiles, warmth igniting in his chest. “Don’t I get stickers too?” He asks.

“You want one?” Jack gapes at him.

Aaron laughs softly. He taps the star on Jack’s chin, then the one on yours. “Yeah. It wouldn’t be fair for me to be left out, would it?”

Jack stares for another disbelieving moment before darting out of the kitchen, for what Aaron hopes is the stickers. He looks at you and is less than surprised at the tears spilling over your lash line. 

Aaron opens his arms; you fall into them, curling into his side as your arms wrap around his waist. A small smile pulls at his lips, despite your soft sniffling.

“Come on, now,” he says gently, “was my idea that bad?”

A wet laugh joins the sniffles, as does a weak punch to his arm. “You’re ridiculous.”

Hooking his arm around your shoulders, he pulls you in close and kisses your forehead. “I love you too.”

[broke-on-books]

Me trying to figure out how long it took to make Scooby Goes Hollywood for maximum emotional impact and getting nothing from Google

Do we think it took longer than three months

[heartlogan]

living to lose

✮— logan x f!mutant!reader (set in worst wolverine’s universe)

✮— summary: logan won’t wear the suit.

✮— a/n: this is gonna be kinda short, but i am in <3 w the concept. (i wrote this in less than an hour bro) i haven’t seen this before so .. lmk if yall want a longer version . perhaps a series ? if yall do, let me know what power reader should have !! and perhaps a nickname 🫡

✮— warnings: DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE SPOILERS, humans vs mutants, and all the prejudice that comes with that, talk of mutants being killed for being mutants etc, xmen bonding, angst, canon typical violence (kinda? mentioned?), logan being stubborn, lmk if theres more!

masterlist | part two

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Life in the X-Mansion wasn’t what it once was.

If you were honest, life itself had begun to lose that glow that it once had. You supposed that it was hard to retain it when every day you were faced with the reality that humans wanted you all dead. And sure, it wasn’t like you hadn’t known that before, but each day you saw news stories coming out about mutants killed in the street, the X-Men were called out constantly to assist in human and mutant matters, and were always met with hatred.

You just wished that people could coexist. Would that be so difficult? For the humans to realise that mutants weren’t that much different from themselves, not really. Everyone had the fundamental building blocks of human DNA, mutants just so happened to have the X gene thrown in the mix.

Still, there were positives to life. Such as Logan, for you, because you were pretty sure Scott wouldn’t categorise him as a positive.

There had been something unspoken between the two of you for almost a decade, stretching across hundreds of battles and memories. Neither of you had actually brought yourselves to talk about it, both too afraid of loss.

But every night when he struggled to sleep, he joined you in your own bed. An incredible progression of your relationship, really, because it wasn’t like Logan to actually ask for help. Not that he did much talking on those nights. Every time you needed comfort after a painful mission, he was there, brooding silently at your side. A hand on the small of your back, or around your shoulders, if you were lucky.

He refused to acknowledge his role in your life, or his role on the team, no matter how much everybody begged him to.

The infamous Wolverine was so intimidated by the idea of admitting he cared, so scared that it would turn out like his past relationships, that he couldn’t bring himself to accept his place in your lives. He was stubborn, and wouldn’t allow anybody to have leverage over him.

It was another afternoon call out, a mutant in distress, and humans harassing whoever it was. It was bound to get violent, which was why everybody was suiting up.

“C’mon, Logan, just wear the suit.” You said, brows furrowed as you held the folded suit out towards him, watching him roll his eyes. “You’re a part of the team. Wear it.”

“She’s right, Logan.” Storm agreed, already clad in her own suit, much like yourself. It presented a united front, a symbol for other mutants that there was hope out there for them, no matter how dire the world seemed.

“Fuck, no.” Logan responded immediately, voice gruff and dismissive, barely sparing the yellow spandex a glance before he was turning away, grabbing his own jacket from its hanger. “Yellow ain’t my colour, bub.” He grumbled when he felt your eyes still on him, practically carving a hole in the back of his head.

“Logan.” You said pleadingly, feeling disheartened. “We all wear it. You’ll look as handsome as you ever do, I swear.” You attempted, although you weren’t naive enough to believe that the almighty Wolverine could have his mind changed via flattery.

He might have admitted, in another life, that you made the yellow work extremely well. That he knew the team looked good in it, looked put together, almost untouchable. But that wasn’t this life. And he refused to let anybody believe he actually wanted to be a part of this godforsaken self-righteous team that named themselves the X-Men. That wasn’t him. It wouldn’t be him.

Scott wandered in, clad in his own suit, matching visor and all. “It’s not gonna work, guys. I’ve tried. Logan’s far too stubborn.” He said, and none of you could see his eyes, but his disappointment was palpable. Logan only grunted in response.

“Fine,” You said, and he could hear the disappointment despite this not being the first time he had denied the suit. It had been a debate for a long while, by now. “I’ll leave it with you. Just in case you change your mind.”

“I won’t.” Logan said, with an air of finality. You said nothing.

The four of you headed out to the distress call not long after, three in cohesive suits, one decidedly not.

It turned into a fight, as most calls do nowadays, which lasted for what felt like ages. You returned, feeling more exhausted than you had in days. The humans only got more violent with time, inventing new and more powerful ways to hurt mutants. Weapons were being developed against mutant-kind with every day that passed, and it wasn’t lost on the X-Men. Your job was only getting harder and harder. And it was taking its toll on all of you.

“‘M goin’ to the bar. You coming?” Logan asked you, standing in front of where you sat on the couch with Storm, both still in your suits and equally tired. He raised his brows at you, indicating that this was a timed offer. You knew he would be out most of the night, getting as drunk as his healing factor would allow him. It wasn’t that kind of night for you.

“No, thanks. I’m gonna stay with the others.” You answered quietly, wanting nothing more than to marinate in your frustration with the rest of the team.

Logan looked at you for a second longer, hesitating for only a moment, before he grunted and stepped away. You could’ve sworn that he looked disappointed, as though he was hoping you would join him, or maybe ask him to stay. But you knew better, had become familiar with the sting of his rejection each time you had asked him to stay.

You wanted him to be a permanent feature of the X-Mansion, to stay after long missions, to not disappear for weeks at a time. You wanted the whole unspoken thing to become spoken at last, even if it hurt, but you knew he wasn’t ready for it. And despite you feeling similarly, feeling that exact same fear he felt, you knew he wasn’t willing to take on the challenge. To try. Hell, he wouldn’t even wear the suit.

If he had asked whether you wanted him to stay, you would’ve said yes without thought. Without hesitation. But Logan wouldn’t put himself in that situation, so he never did ask. He only hesitated. And for you, that wasn’t enough.

He knew it, too, which might have been the worst part of it all.

You watched him leave, heard the slam of the door behind him not long after, and could only sigh to yourself.

“Everything okay?” Storm asked you from the opposite end of the couch, tilting her head towards you from where she had been idly staring at the ceiling. She looked as though she knew the answer, whether she had already known, or had gotten it from the look on your face, though, you weren’t sure.

“D’you think he’ll ever stick around? Wear the suit?” You questioned her in response, fixing your eyes on the fireplace in front of you for a few moments before her silence became too much. You looked at her, confused and slightly concerned.

She looked as downtrodden as you felt, which was saying something. “I… don’t know. I hope so, but… hope is a feeble thing, in this world. I’m not sure it means much anymore.”

Beast wandered in, with Scott at his side, blue fur still singed from a battle a few days prior. “I’m sure he will come around. Logan is a stubborn man, but a good one.” He commented, pushing his glasses further up his nose, but still squinting through them as he found his place in an armchair.

“We’ll see. Maybe we can make an X-Man of him, yet.” Scott added, sinking into the sofa cushion between you and Storm, wearing his glasses rather than his visor, for once. You thought could almost see the shape of his eyes, through the red lens.

“Either way, I’m sure he’ll linger. If not for us, then for those poor kids. We have all seen how much they idolise him.” Storm said, which was true, but still stung slightly. You wished that Logan would linger for you, too, but you knew it wasn’t likely. But for the kids… well, he might just look back for them.

“He’s their hero.” You agreed quietly, before resting your head on Scott’s shoulder. He said nothing, but you felt his quiet appreciation of the touch. The team needed comfort, in times like these, you included. Beast reached over and took Storm’s hand not long after, and you saw her squeeze him in response.

Jean wandered in not too long later, having been busy helping to look after the new mutant in the medbay. You made space for her between you and Scott, and resumed your position on her shoulder. She rested her head on your own, and the five of you breathed quietly, not speaking. There was nothing much to speak about, nothing that could comfort you, anyway. The world continued its descent into chaos and hatred, and despite the X-Men’s best efforts, nothing any of you did would be changing it.

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It was Beast raising the alarm that woke you up, and Jean jolted awake soon after you.

“The humans, they’re here!” He shouted, diving into action, with Storm and Scott following soon after while you and Jean shared a single glance, her eyes filled with terror.

“Get the kids!” You yelled to her, as you jumped from the couch, heading to confront the humans with Scott, Beast and Storm. All the while, you were wondering where Logan was.

It was a thought that remained present in the back of your head, a wish that he was safe, unharmed. You couldn’t decide whether you wanted him to show up, to be the hero all of the kids knew him to be, or whether you wanted him far away, safe from what you were certain would be a lethal encounter.

The humans wouldn’t just come to the X-Mansion lightly. They would be prepared. Armed to the teeth, you were sure. And the moment you caught a glance outside of the window, seeing the crowds outside, glints of machinery and weapons, you knew you were right.

For a moment, you thought you saw him out there, until the two humans stepped apart, shattering the illusion of their shadows. The call of his name died on your lips.

“X-Men, to me.” Scott called out, and his grave expression told you that he had already had the same realisation as you. Most of you, if any at all, wouldn’t be getting out of this alive.

“Together?” Storm questioned, eyes glowing that bright white that only added to her ethereal look. She locked eyes with you, and you nodded firmly.

“Together.”

[phecdasolar]

Tumblr I need your help I am in dire need of feral/unhinged Disaster Twins fics pleaseeee (and maybe Mikey as a bonus) I’m just in love with the idea of Raph being the impulse control for once with this iteration, and just the second he’s out of commission the other three go insane.

Weapons of War, Bioengineered Killing Machines, Manufactured Supersoldiers Rottmnt turtles my BELOVEDS

And maybe just like,,, set Leo and Donnie loose on one of the other dimensions and have them absolutely horrifically annihilate their counterparts’ villains while they watch on in horror

(B.E.A.S.T. was SUCH a good fic you guys oh my GOSH go read it I’m begging you-)

I NEED to have it addressed in fic form that the Rise turtles are fundamentally different than all their other counterparts, because their counterparts? They were accidents. Just a couple of turtles splashed with mutagen and oh look now they’re people but Green. (Huge oversimplification I’m aware but hear me out okay-)

But the Rise boys were created. They were specifically designed to be weapons of mass destruction. They were built with the intent to cause harm which means they were bioengineered to be stronger, smarter(?), faster, to heal quicker, to have the capacity to take hard hits while dishing out even harder ones, they were literally forged with a purpose to kill.

Add on their mystic powers? Then their unlocked Ninpo? You can’t honestly tell me that these four aren’t the strongest and potentially deadliest version of themselves out there.

Yes they still had to learn things, as did the other iterations, they weren’t immediately good (that much is obvious, like c’mon it’s IN the name) but I don’t think the other iterations possess the same instincts as these guys do. They’re just so. Unhinged. They’ve all had their moments in the show I think where it’s obvious they’re not really,,, stable. I love them.

In a plain fists only, maybe weapons, no powers fight, I do think some of the other iterations would win, but purely because they have way more experience than these guys do. (If I did any crossovers I’d say 2003 and 2012 are definitely older than these guys, especially if we’re basing this at the end of their shows) But put them against each other when they’re still at the same level? Rise is whooping butt, I know where I’m placing my bets. It’s called RISE of the TMNT for a reasonnnnnn they’re not there yet but they WILL BE, and as of the end of s2 and the movie I say they’re finally THERE.

I have no idea how this turned into a headcanon rant this was just supposed to be me asking for fic recs hsgdjdjdk it’s almost 3 am tho so whatever sorry if none or some of this is incoherent o7 o/

Editing this with a list of fics I have been graciously recommended below the cut:

Firefight by remrose [42/43 chapters 208k words] (edit: JUST FINISHED READING ch38-42 WATCH ME BAWL MY EYES OUT I was rotating them in my brain all morning at work) less on the feral side, more on the gut-wrenching angst side, still Disaster Twins and still super good

In Which Donnie and Leo Make Themselves Everyone Else's Problem in an NYC That Isn't Even Their Own by YukiSkyes [7/? chapters, 18k words] the CLASSIC “the Disaster Twins are unapologetically causing chaos” fic, always a delight to read

The Lemon Leak by TurtleSoupSwimmer [27/37 chapters, 143k words] I’m being told it’s very true to the theme here, and it’s very angsty, a suspenseful psychological thriller, and will make you scream at your phone. I for one am very intrigued

Eschatology by aenor_llelo, Alderous, ConcoctionsFromHell, izziel_galaxy, Jaybird314, Otakuforlife19, and Rocket999 [17/17 chapters, 344k words] “HEAVY on the boys being biologically engineered to destroy the world, it also delves into so much character building and worldbuilding that we never got in canon, and it gives even super minor characters the chance to shine” Sounds intriguing, AND it’s a BNHA crossover which I am a big fan of :D

The Hunter’s Bible also by TurtleSoupSwimmer [2/2 chapters, 15k words] Rated Mature, contains themes of SA and c@nnibalism so PLEASE keep that in mind!! Not a fic for the faint of heart this is a Dead Dove: Do Not Eat! The SA is only attempted, and never shown, only implied, and it’s only in ch 1, but the other stuff is fairly descriptive and takes place in ch 2. All that being said, flipping UNHINGED, just about lost my mind in ch 2, it was entertaining in a surreal kinda way if you get what I mean. Funky little feral creatures

[inbarfink]

I’ve heard some DHMIS fans say the TV Show/Season 2 feels more optimistic and hopeful than the Web Show/Season 1. Like that the trio is more independent and offers a bit more resistance against the teachers. So it makes them more hopeful they can break out/fight against this Horrible Situation.

And I mean, I do see where this interpretation is coming from. The three do have a lot more agency in the TV Show, a lot more control over the narrative. While in the Webshow they spend nearly the whole duration episode just sort of going along and following a Teacher’s lead. Plus they are a lot more likely to talk back to a teacher - 

Try and go against the teacher - 

Just annoy the shit out of a Teacher - 

AND THEY’RE EVEN CAPABLE OF CAUSING THE DEATH OF A TEACHER!

Plus, the Teachers themselves are often less explicitly sinister and/or antagonistic. Especially when you consider reappearances of Web-Show Teachers consistently show them as being on more amicable terms with the trio. Like Tony mostly just chilling there - 

And Colin being extremely friendly with them.

And like, yeah, all of these things are true. But still, for me, the helplessness and hopelessness of the trio situation is a lot more palatable on the TV Show. Their whole situation feels a lot more dire. 

Cause the thing is, yes, the teachers are less obviously sinister and the characters talk back to them more in the TV Episodes - but they are also more likely to totally buy into their bullshit and vehemently agree with them and even argue about it with the others. (See: Red Guy in "Jobs" and "Family", Yellow Guy and Duck in "Transport)

It’s especially notable when you compare Red Guy’s behavior between the two versions of DHMIS. Since in the Web Show he was the first one to ‘break away’ from their world (or at least try). While in the web-continuity, he was pretty consistently disinterested in the Teacher’s lessons - generally only reacting to express his annoyance or befuddlement at them - 

The TV Show puts a lot more emphasis on his personal foibles, and how despite his detached and apathetic attitude - he is just as likely to fall into the bullshit of some ‘Teachers’ in the right situation. 

And while the TV Show also emphasizes Duck’s ability to Defy the Narrative - it also emphasizes how much this independence is based less on his intelligence -

And more on his ego. 

I want to be in a family, I want to be the dad!

So with every character’s ‘resistance’ to the Teacher really depending on their personal behavior and flaws, we don’t really get moments like that thing in ‘Time’ where they all together started questioning Tony’s lesson.

And that’s also a thing that is less prevalent about the TV Continuity in general, the trio are less in harmony with each other. Obviously, it is a requirement of the format. The show has more emphasis on the puppets’ personalities and therefore gives more focus to their interpersonal conflicts. While in the Webshow they were seen more-or-less as a single Unit, with each their own personal quirks, but generally being Together and having pretty much the same goals - in the TV Show they are a lot more separate and distinctive. But that can also mean they can turn on each other and hurt each other. 

The fact they have more Agency in the story also means they can cause damage and hurt like the Teachers can.

With the bigger focus on character comes a much bigger focus on the long-term effects of their ‘Format’ over their lives and thoughts. They don’t just sort-of ‘go along’ with whatever bizarre object has bursted into their house, but they have actually internalized the core concept behind all of those lessons, they internalized all sorts of ideas of how they’re supposed to act and what they’re supposed to do and what they are capable of doing. And they will reinforce it amongst themselves, no Teacher needed.

We don't have the Transport Man, it's just us three! We can't just... do stuff, just us three, can we?

While the last episode of the Web Show has both surviving members of the trio apart and separated, they've both come to the conclusion that their life is Wrong from their own perspective.

(And Duck figured it out just before he died)

The TV Show’s final episode shows how the Trio themselves (and especially Red and Duck’s sense of superiority over Yellow) is much more effective at keeping them in line then just a Teacher. The Insurance Safe was easily discouraged by Yellow’s intelligence and knowledge, but Red’s unease and Duck’s hostility is what actually made him feel bad.

And before Yellow Guy, Red Guy was the one trying to get them all free the episode before that - the Teacher was pretty helpless to stop them - but his friends were the ones constantly urging him to go back home. 

And at the end of episode 6, they all doom each other, and themselves.

And while the ending to the Web Show is ambiguous, and can be read in a very negative light, there is at least some element of change and disruption in it. Red at least tried to pull the plug. And even if it is all doomed to repeat again and again, some things, no matter how small, have been shifted. 

The TV Show’s ending is a lot more direct, but also a lot more directly hopeless. Yellow Guy’s attempt to break free has failed. There has been no real change or shift, or disruption - the house is back to normal, this loop has probably happened thousands of times before. They are just as trapped as they were before, and they are all willfully oblivious to it.

One interpretation for the ending of the Web Series is that it demonstrates how the trauma of the ‘Lessons’ will remain with the characters forever, or that the indoctrination they suffered still lingers or that they might be doomed to repeat these patterns in themselves or with others. If this is true, then the TV Show’s greater focus on character really helps to demonstrate how this trauma and indoctrination affects them. Even if they were to break out of it, they will bring something of it with themselves wherever they go, they might even drag each other straight back into it - because it’s all they know.

The show also puts a much bigger emphasis on this fact, that this strange situation they are trapped in is all that they know. Just watching the Webshow on its own, you can’t really tell how long this has been going on - it could just be one very weird day. And you could kinda separate the Trio’s lives and the teachers intruding on them. Before the TV Show, it was easy to imagine a version of their lives where they are not constantly hounded by Singing Living Objects, and that it wasn't that different and it wasn't that long ago. Like, it wasn’t a surefire thing or the authorial intent - but it was at least a valid interpretation of the text. 

The TV Show makes it clear that yes, the house and their entire living situation is part of that terrible surreal experience. It’s not just about their occasional edutainment misadventures, it is really everything about their world that is wrong and confining and nightmarish. Their rooms and their own house, and the world outside their window is all part of this Actual Nightmare. And it really is all they know. As far as they can tell, their life has always been defined by being trapped inside a nonsense house and being hounded by living objects. I mean, in retrospect that was probably also true for the Web Show but, again, the TV Show is a lot more explicit about that. 

And the ‘outside’/‘real’ world is… okay, we have no way to be sure whatever either the Red Guy World seen in the end of “Health” and the beginning of “Dreams'', or the Junkyard seen in “Transport” is actually real or just like, another layer of illusions but still… The ‘world outside’ seen on the web show looks drab and soul-crushingly boring but it’s still fairly livable. If the only real problem is that it’s dull and too grown-up, then it’s easy to assume that if Red Guy could save Yellow Guy and Duck and get them out - then it wouldn’t be that bad. They could give color to that gray world themselves. 

Meanwhile… The glimpses of the ‘Real World’ in ‘Transport’ just looked like a junkyard. But considering how the puppets were wandering from daytime to nighttime without finding any way out or any other signs of life, and considering Duck’s Visual Inventory included stuff like “one skull” and “one bag of meat” - I think this is less of an ordinary junkyard and more of a post apocalyptic wasteland.

So, even if the trio could ever break free of their surreal felt world - it’s unclear whether or not they could survive outside of it. Even if their world is a nightmare, that might be better than waking up. 

And while the teachers are nicer, or at least less actively malevolent, their presence and influence is constantly felt. Like, even when there isn’t a Lesson ‘actively’ going on - there’s often some googly-eyed motherfucker just… watching them.

Yeah, maybe the fact Tony doesn’t do anything but tell the Time Child they’re absent shows that he’s a nicer guy in this continuity. But… even if the teachers are generally kinder, they’re still prone to overriding their ‘Students’ wills and opinions, often disrespectful and/or manipulative, and generally care more about being smarter than their students than actually being right. Even Electracey, probably the most straight-up benevolent and competent teacher we’ve ever seen on the show - 

Seems to have issues understanding the mortality of organic beings.

So there’s still a lot to be weary of the fact these guys are constantly watching our main characters. Even if they’re not quite as sinister as they were before. Besides, even if the Teachers were just the nicest folks ever - it is still rather sad and concerning that the Trio are constantly watched like that in general. Like, they basically have no privacy. Even disregarding Lesley and maybe even us the audience. Someone is always watching.

And they can’t do anything about it.

And the thing that I’m thinking about most… it’s something specifically with Colin the Computer. Like, it seems like he’s the most unambiguous and straightforward example of how much nicer Teachers are on the TV Show. Compared to the data-harvesting control freak he was on the Webshow, he has become such a sweetie! So polite and complimentary and friendly to the trio! But the thing is… it’s very easy to be nice and sweet to people who are already doing what you want.

In the Webshow, the trio were at least somewhat in conflict with Colin because they wanted different things. The trio were having a quiet board game night at home and maybe wanted to learn about the World, and Colin was determined to pull them into his computer world. As Red Guy pointed out, they already had a computer. So they didn’t really need him or his ‘lesson’ about computers. They were totally independent of him. It was easy to see Colin’s pushy and over-controlling tendencies in that situation. 

But that sort of conflict is simply not present in the TV version of Colin. It’s hard to tell if TV!Colin would have acted better if the trio were not as interested in using him because he is simply never put in that situation. That’s the part that always sticks to me; unlike in the Webshow - Colin is the only computer they have. He is actually their only connection to the digital world, the internet. They can’t wait to use him because he only comes around once a year. He joins in on the trio’s insults towards Warren because they would all just like to go back to focusing on Colin. 

The things that do maybe make Colin come across as genuinely kinder on the TV Show are the facts he offers to help with Yellow Guy’s situation (and doesn’t interrupt or distract them after the solution extends beyond looking it up on Colin) and gives them that ‘Glass Spherical Computer’ In the end - ensuring that they won’t be that dependent on him after all. I mean, I think you can argue about whether the ‘replacement’ computer being made of very fragile glass is such an unlucky coincidence or not… but even if we give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he legit wanted to make them less dependent on him…

The fact that was the situation in the first place, that they could only go online one day in a year, and had to be constantly monitored by Some Guy (who was also acting as their computer)- no matter how well-intentioned he is - is still deeply fucked up!

I think that at the end of the day, me and the folks who see TVDHMIS in a more optimistic light aren’t really in disagreement. At least not about the actual contents of the web and TV shows. It’s more that we have different priorities about what’s the most disturbing elements of the trio’s Actual Nightmare. Because yes, it is true they are put in the care of less Actively Malevolent Teachers this time around. And it is true they are less actively suffering, and they have a bit more agency now.

But for me, the bigger emphasis on the constant surveillance they live under, the focus on how much this situation affects their lives and relationships and psyche, and the trio’s tendency to hurt each other and doom themselves - makes the world of the show feel more hopeless and bleak to me.

[elen-aranel]

Helloo~ May I make a Christopher Pike x reader request? It's a month old scuttlebutt, that the captain is involved with you, based solely on misconstrued events (leaving the direction of his quarters early morn in a rumpled uniform, stopping by medbay for a 'shot') Everyone knows that everyone knows, from cadet to captain. Except you don't. And noone has bothered checking. And the captain finds it funny (and you 'apparently' don't mind either as you've not bothered to shoot it down) so any moments you two have in view of others, he gives you a conspirational wink with some flirty banter. You think (hope) he's really flirting and not just being friendly.

Is it a bit much for a request? If so lemme know. Or i can commission? Idk. The idea hit me and it made me giggle with all the ways it could go.

Thank you so much for the request, and for your patience... this took a while! I hope you like the direction I've gone with it <333

Common Knowledge

Pairing: Christopher Pike x F!Reader (no Y/N) Warnings/Notes: Reader wears the dress version of the standard SNW uniform. Food mentions, alcohol mention. WC: 5.8k

It all starts the morning after you spent gamma shift in a Jeffries tube. Well. Several Jeffries tubes, in fact, chasing down an issue with a relay that had blown and taken a bunch of circuitry out with it, including some life support systems.

You’re feeling good, though, as you step out into the corridor on a deck full of crew quarters. Yes, your red uniform dress is creased and you’re in dire need of a shower, but the relay and the burned-out circuitry are replaced, and all systems are back online.

You deserve a water shower, not a sonic one, you tell yourself as you head toward the turbolift, nodding to the occasional officer as you walk by them. You just need to make sure the ops console on the bridge is reading everything correctly, then your duty shift will be done.

“Commander, Lieutenant,” you greet Lieutenant Commander Chin-Riley and Lieutenant Ortegas as you enter the turbolift. Unlike you, they both look fresh and ready to face the day. Number One nods in greeting, but Ortegas looks you up and down quite blatantly, and you find you’re trying to smooth your skirt despite yourself.

“Long night?”

“I—” you start, but before you can reply—

“Computer, hold. Open the doors,” Commander Chin-Riley says, and as you turn, Captain Pike is walking into the lift. And somehow, even though you’ve been on the Enterprise for a while, you’re never not struck by his presence. His broad shoulders. How handsome he is.

“Good morning, Number One, Ortegas. Lieutenant.” He puts an odd weight on your title, even though of course he knows your name, and then your mind goes blank as he winks one of those blue eyes.

“C-captain,” you stutter, well aware of Ortegas trying to stifle a laugh next to you.

“Sleep well?” Una asks, something knowing in her voice, after the captain directs the turbolift to the bridge.

“I’ve had… more restful nights,” he says, and looks at you sideways, doubtless taking in your rumpled dress and less-than-fresh appearance. “Like the lieutenant here, I’d wager,” he adds, and you must have missed a memo somewhere because this ‘lift ride has gotten very weird, very fast.

You decide keeping quiet is your best bet — it’s a short ride, thank goodness.

But you can’t shake the feeling that there are eyes on you as you finish your work on the bridge.

It may have started in a Jeffries tube, but it continues in sickbay.

You appreciate knowing sickbay is there. Doctor M'Benga and Nurse Chapel are skilled at their jobs, and you’ve had cause to be grateful for them when accidents happen, from a pulled muscle during a workout to a painful plasma burn from faulty equipment.

That doesn’t mean you love getting your quarterly check-up and shots. But you decided early on in your career that you weren’t going to be one of those people doctors had to chase for their physicals. Every three months you turn up. You’re due for routine vaccinations against some common alien viruses that human immune systems need reminders about, and your contraceptive shot.

Not that you really need it, of course. You aren’t getting any. The closest you’ve been since you joined the Enterprise was Lieutenant Paulson, a senior engineer who sometimes commands gamma shift when you’re on that rotation. He asked you out to dinner on Starbase 1, and while you like him as a person, you had to decline. You���d known him for a while, and never felt any kind of spark. And there’s been no-one— there’s been almost no-one else on the ship that you’re interested in. But still, you get your shot.

Today your appointment is during your shift. You didn’t want to be interrupted; you’re working on a new scanning device to be used on a planet with an unusual combination of atmosphere and magnetic field, which affects the resolution of normal scanners. So when your reminder went off you kept hold of your PADD, and you carried on entering the design parameters as you walked.

“Woah there,” a voice cuts through the equations you’re focussing on, and you feel hands on your arms, steadying you as you stumble.

As it turns out, walking with a PADD is a mistake.

Especially when you walk straight into the captain in the corridor outside sickbay.

“Captain! I’m so sorry! I—I was— I’ll pay more attention.” You look up, flustered, into his blue eyes, suddenly keenly aware of the bulk of him, of the controlled strength in his hands.  Happily, he seems amused rather than annoyed, that half smile playing about his lips.

“I do admire your... dedication, Lieutenant, but you’re right. Paying attention is a good idea.”

And as the doors to sickbay swish open, letting Chief Kyle and one of your fellow engineers out onto the corridor, you realise the captain hasn’t moved. You’re still in his space, and he’s still holding you.

“Captain, Lieutenant... are you joining us?” Nurse Chapel looks as though she’s suppressing a smile. “You’re, uh... both here for your quarterly shots, right?” she adds, as Pike finally steps back, and you walk with him into sickbay. You nod, mutely.

“Yes. Timed it perfectly this time, didn’t we Lieutenant?” he says, and he grins at you, knowing.

“Sure,” you find yourself saying, sitting down a little abruptly on the biobed Doctor M'Benga indicates. Is Pike… flirting with you? Or just being his usual warm self?

“This shouldn’t take too long. I’m sure you want to get back to your... duties.” M'Benga looks meaningfully at Pike, who shrugs, a picture of innocence.

“Can you blame us?”

You can’t help your smile.

But actually, now you really think about it, maybe you’re wrong.  Maybe it started with the onions.

You have a shift free, moving from nights to days as you do on a semi-regular basis, since some edict came down from Starfleet that people shouldn’t just work nights for health reasons. It doesn’t entirely make sense to you; you’re on a ship, so it’s not like anyone has a real day or night, but being able to socialise with people who are always on alpha is a plus, and you suppose the same rules apply to planetary bases which do have day and night.

The captain has invited you to dinner. That isn’t special, even though you wish it were – he likes to get to know the whole crew in an informal setting, and it’s just your turn. And maybe you over-think it just a little, during the day, planning what to wear to make yourself look pretty but not like you’d tried too hard.

Either way, you are early. You only realise as you press the chime for the door, when it’s too late to back out.

But the captain’s smile is warm and welcoming. “Hi, come in, come in. You any good with a vegetable knife?”

You grin in return, relaxing. “Yes sir. It’s been a little while, but I can chop.”

“Chris. We’re not on the clock right now.”

“Yes, Chris.” You follow him into the kitchen area of his quarters, taking in the fire, the view of a green forest through the windows, all the details that mark the space as his.

“Excellent. That spatial anomaly today— well. I’m playing catch-up here.”

“Oh wow, you really are...” the vegetables are all laid out ready, and there are a lot. But then, you don’t know how many people will be here. “Set me to work. How do you want the carrots?”

Pike’s knives are sharp and well balanced, and it’s easy to chop carrots into even circles, and to dice potatoes into neat cubes. You chat, too, about the food he’s making, and the special unit he had the ship’s botanists set up to let him grow fresh herbs in space.

You’re pretty much on autopilot by the time you get to the onions. You know the technique: you slice them in half through the root, then make sure you don’t cut the root again as you cut from close to the root to the tip, then across into chunks.

“So, there’s something I’m curious about,” you say as you grab the next onion.

“Oh?” Pike pauses for a moment, hand poised over the control for the oven.

“The forest overlay you have for the windows. Is it somewhere special to you? It’s really lovely.” You blink a little as you chop. Perhaps you got a lash or something in your eye.

Pike presses the control on the oven, then turns to look at you. “No, actually it’s—” he frowns. “Wait, are you all right?”

You blink again. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Your brow draws together, and you put your knife down, turning to him a little more.

“Because you’re crying.” He starts towards you.

“Oh, damn.” You can feel it now — that tell-tale sting in your eyes. You look down at your chopping. “The onions. But I was being careful.” You sigh, blink again, and feel a tear roll down your cheek.

“If there are a lot it doesn’t matter how careful you are. I’m sorry, I should have done them.” He reaches past you, and you’re terribly aware of him in your space. He pulls off a piece of kitchen towel.

 “It’s not your fault—” the words die on your lips as he turns to face you, blue eyes filled with concern.

“I’ll just—I don’t want you to use your hands—” and he takes the towel and dabs your face, and you suck a little breath in at his closeness, wondering why it has to be in a circumstance like this, when the door chime goes. “Enter,” he says, distractedly, blotting away one more tear before stepping back. “There. No harm done. But you should wash up. Ah, Spock, perhaps you can take over the chopping.”

You look round to see that Spock, Sam Kirk, Ortegas and Uhura have all walked in, just in time to see you with red eyes from the onions. At least, you think as you wash the onion off your hands, your makeup is waterproof.

Regardless of how things did or did not start, you’re pretty sure the captain only thinks of you as a friend. That this flirting is just a joke between the two of you... even if you wish it were real. Either way, you decide you might as well enjoy it.

You get back to the transport point from your solo hike on Chi Orianis Prime – it’s beautiful, with fluffy peachy-pink grass that’s soft underfoot and smells very slightly citrus-y when you tread on it, interspersed with lavender coloured bushes, with views of blue lakes and red mountains in the distance – right as Pike gets back from his fishing trip. Given how he’s carrying his cooler, it must have been a successful one.

You’re just about to ask him about it when Chapel and Ortegas arrive, with Uhura and La’an in tow, laughing together. They’re wearing t-shirts and shorts and sandals, carrying towels — clearly back from the beach, La’an actually looking like she might have caught the sun a little.

You take a step closer to him.

“Enjoy your trip?” The smile on Erica’s face is just a little too innocent.

“Yes, thank you. Wouldn’t have been the same without the lieutenant here, though.” Pike catches your eye, and you smile back at him, sappy, playing along.

“The captain’s right. We had a good time.”

None of your close friends wanted to go to movie night with you tonight. They’re showing a classic 20th century Earth film, Casablanca, and none of them were interested in seeing something that old. But it seems pretty popular with the rest of the crew when you get there. You pick up some popcorn first, wondering once again whose idea it was to put a Starfleet delta on the containers, and you head to find a seat.

Maybe it was a good thing your friends didn’t come. There aren’t too many spaces left when you go to sit down, but there are a few seats a couple of rows in front of where Spock and Nurse Chapel are sitting together. You settle in, allowing yourself three pieces of popcorn before the lights go down.

And right before they do, Pike slides into the free seat next to you.

“I thought you were going to stand me up,” you tell him, tilting your popcorn container over.

“A gentleman would never,” he replies, and you can hear the smile in his voice as he takes a piece.

The back of the shuttle is open to the bay, and Cadets Novakova and Manuel, on engineering rotation, are standing inside it with you, PADDs in hand. You’ve popped a panel off the inside of the shuttle, and you indicate a junction point.

“So, okay. You want to interplex the circuitry here. What will be the result of that? What are you hoping to achieve?”

“Well, the increased signal strength will improve thruster response time and efficiency.” Manuel says, shrugging his broad shoulders like it’s obvious.

“Yes, and we need better responsiveness for the planet. The atmospheric differentials are almost out of spec.” Novakova nods. “This is the easiest way to achieve that.”

“All right. And looking at the systems in front of you, will there be any other consequences?”

“No, there shouldn’t, it should just—” there’s a pause, then Novakova steps back, playing with a twist of her blonde hair as she considers. “Wait. That pathway, it connects to the impulse engine as well, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, it does, and the boosted signal would go through there too…” Manuel’s fingers fly over his PADD.

They look at each other as the penny drops, and you notice Pike in the bay, listening in. You tilt your head and raise a brow in a silent invitation, but he shakes his head a little, content to observe.

“So if we interplex the circuitry there, we will get an increase in thruster efficiency, but at the expense of introducing instability into the impulse control matrix.” Manuel sighs.

“You’re flying along, minding your business and then boom. Impulse reactor overload.” Novakova winces. “I didn’t see that.”

You nod. “You didn’t. Because neither of you really looked. For what it’s worth, it would probably have worked on the shuttles at the academy. But these are a different model. You have to work with what’s actually in front of you. That’s half the battle.”

“Wise words, Lieutenant.” Pike leans into the back of the shuttle, and you can’t help your smile at the praise as the cadets turn to acknowledge him. “The two of you should take them to heart.”

You're sitting on a bench in the bar, sipping a favourite drink, listening to Ensign Thyra play an Earth guitar but sing a wistful sounding song in her native Andorian, when Lieutenant Ortegas sits down next to you. And then Nurse Chapel sits on your other side.

“So, you and the captain. How’s that going?” Christine’s opening is straight to the point.

You give her a sceptical look. “It... isn’t? Hi to you too, by the way.” You turn to Erica. “To both of you.”

“Oh, come on. You guys are not subtle.” Erica rolls her eyes. “It’s been scuttlebutt for weeks. Me, Number One,” she starts counting off on her fingers, “Christine, Mbenga, Uhura...”

“Sam Kirk,” Christine adds.

“Yes, Sam Kirk, Spock, La’an...”

 “We’ve all seen it. I even heard the cadets talking about it. Everyone knows.”

You shake your head, putting your drink down on the table in front of you. “We’re not... I don’t—” you look from one to the other. “There’s nothing between the captain and me.” You take a breath. “He flirts, sometimes I flirt back, but it’s just a joke.”

“Doesn’t look like a joke to me.” Christine says, her voice soft, almost sympathetic.

Erica shrugs. “It’s okay. You don’t have to admit it, if you guys are keeping things to yourselves... We just wanted you to know that we’re happy for you. Pike should have someone on the ship. And you. You should have someone too.” Her smile as she stands to leave is genuine.

“I—I’m not hiding anything. But thanks, I guess? I appreciate the sentiment.”

Arriving early when the captain invites you to a crew dinner is your habit now. You enjoy helping with prep when you can, and having a quiet moment to chat with Chris.

But this time you use the computer to check that others have arrived before you get there. You try to relax; these are your friends, Chris is your friend, but with what Erica and Christine said… you feel self-conscious. Second guessing everything you do and say.

 You leave as soon as you can without being rude.

You feel a bit self-conscious with work, too, although you try to bury it. Especially with Pike piloting the shuttle for this mission. You’re sitting in your tactical uniform in the back of shuttle Kepler with Spock, Sam Kirk, La’an, and a couple more science officers. You would expect Kirk especially to pass some comment, but even he is quiet, because Zeta Lyrae VI’s wind shear is every bit as bad as science predicted.

A long-range scanning probe identified it as a possible source of dilithium as well as some other useful minerals — visual scan only, though, because the strange magnetic field prevented scanning of the interior. But that’s where the scanner you developed comes in. The visual scan also tagged some potential ruins which Kirk will investigate, and there’s general surveying to do too.

You grit your teeth against the turbulence. You trust that the captain’s piloting skills and the modifications you and the cadets made to the shuttle will see you safely to the ground, but you still feel motion sick. You know, though, there are pattern enhancers in the cargo. Perhaps you’ll be able to beam back up.

The turbulence lessens as you get deeper into the atmosphere, but you’re still very glad when the shuttle touches down. There’s a metallic tang to the air as the shuttle door opens, but it’s cool and refreshing despite that, and you take a deep breath, settling your rolling stomach, before you get to work.

The dawn sky of Zeta Lyrae IV is muted shades of pale blue and grey, warming a little to mauve-pink at the horizon, where the two suns have just risen. Barren-looking plains stretch out in front of you, with a river lazily meandering across, and there are hills leading to mountains not far away to your right. It’s hard to make out, but the lines of dark stones partially embedded in the ground to your left could well be the remains of a wall, and there are other, more defined structures further away in that direction.

“Lieutenant, you have everything you need?”

“Yes sir.” You lift your last case again, the heavy one, and try to keep your face blank at the weight of it. You know you’ll be feeling it tomorrow, but its contents were too large for your backpack. “I’ve identified a site two kilometres away that’s suitable for the scanner base. Enhanced scanning should be online within an hour.”

Pike nods. “Kirk, La’an, you have the ruins. Spock, the science survey is yours.” He turns to you. “Let me help with that.”

“I’m fine, honestly,” you protest as Pike takes the case from you, fingers brushing yours for one tiny electric moment.

“We’ll make quicker time if we share the load. Which I’m sure Spock will appreciate.”

“Aye, sir.”

You notice that there’s no flirtatious comment today.

This planet feels a bit like a dream, with its dead quiet, muted colours, pearly grey sky and the two suns gently highlighting the landscape. The only evidence you can see of the turbulent atmosphere are the occasional blue-green clouds scudding quickly across the sky.

You pick your way through the pathless terrain, looking for any signs of life. While there are scraps of ragged looking vegetation here and there, a lot of it seems dead, and the planet as a whole seems mostly barren.

You don’t make conversation; there’s something about the planet’s quiet and your confused emotions that steals your ability to make small talk, and Pike is quiet too. There’s just the sound of two pairs of boots crunching on the ground.

Until you almost step on a flower: a seven petaled bloom in the shape of a star, pale blue in the middle deepening to grey-purple just at the tips. You pause to get a better look, to see if there are any others like it nearby, but it seems solitary.

“Are you all right, Lieutenant?”

You look up to see Pike has stopped too, mild concern on his face.

“Yes sir, I’m fine.” You straighten up. “I just... this flower is the only one I’ve seen, and I wonder... is it the last gasp of the life that used to live on this planet, or is it a glimpse of hope for the future?”

Pike glances at the flower, but his focus is on you when he speaks. “We’ll likely never know, but I... I choose hope.”

The site you chose from the visual scan is obvious when you get there. You’re at the edge of the hills, and there’s a grey cliff curving round one edge of a flat open area. Geophysics had identified it as a potential location for dilithium, and as you get close you can see veins of the pink crystal running through the rock.

Now you just need to find out how much there is.

With Pike helping it doesn’t take too long to set the scanner up. You start with the base in the case he was carrying, and together you fold it out into a large circle, locking struts and its three legs in place.

You attach the probe that will drill into the soil, the antennas to communicate with the smaller unit near the shuttle and with the Enterprise, and to facilitate scanning in the atmosphere. Finally, you attach the computer from your backpack which is the brains of the system — you can’t help your private smile of satisfaction as it comes online. The shuttle is far enough away that its systems don’t affect the sensitive scans, and when the probe deploys and calibration data flows straight through immediately.

You talk to Commander Pelia and Lieutenant Spock on comms, making adjustments on the fly to the different parameters, optimising the uplink from the scanner and away team’s tricorders to the Enterprise.

Pike checks in with La’an at some point, but next time you look up you see he’s a little way away, tricorder out, following a standard scanning pattern working outward from where you are. You’re a little surprised he didn’t tell you that’s what he was going to do. Then the scanner beeps as the drill returns a result outside expected tolerances, pulling your focus.

It’s easier to get lost in your work than think about him, and for a long while, you do.

“Lieutenant, do you see that?” There’s a note of concern in Pike’s voice, and you follow his gaze to the horizon to your right.

It almost looks like a distant rain shower would on Earth, but there are green lights sparking all through it. Like lightning but less directional. You take a breath, and realise the metallic smell has intensified, to the point you can almost taste it.

“Yes, sir, I do.” You turn and meet Pike’s eyes.

“Plasma storm?”

“Plasma storm.” You redirect your scanner’s gain to maximum in that direction, sacrificing resolution elsewhere.

Pike’s tone is rueful. “Should’ve known when I scanned a burned patch of vegetation. It must have developed quickly.”

“Looks like it’s moving fast, too.”

“I’ll contact the rest of the away team, have them meet us at the shuttle. You start packing.”

“Sir,” you reply, distracted, already deep in the scanner readouts. You vaguely hear Pike calling Spock, then La’an, but you’re focused on one last scan.

“Lieutenant? I gave you an order.”

“Yes sir, you did, but look.” You point to the readout of the storm’s speed on the screen. “Scans show that even if we leave right now, we can’t make it back to the shuttle before the storm hits. We don’t even have time for them to pick us up.”

Pike frowns. “Options?”

“The cliff. There’s a cave system behind it. I don’t think there’s an entrance close enough, but...”

“Phasers? All this dilithium makes it risky.”

“Plasma burns are no fun, sir. I would know.”

He raises a brow. “Sounds like a story for later. All right. Let’s do this.”

You grab your phaser from your holster and dial the power up.

“Fire.”

You focus your beam on the weakest spot, and Pike fires at it too. And... nothing happens, for long enough for a shade of doubt to creep in. Then there’s a sound, a pile of rubble, and a gap. Just large enough for a person.

The cave is dark. It’s big, too, enough that the torches on your vests can’t illuminate the other side from where you are.

The storm is still raging outside, but the sound of it is quiet in here; the narrow space you opened the gap into curved round for a few metres before opening out into the space you’re in.

Now all you can do is sit and wait.

And you’re so aware of Pike, sitting with you.

He’s quiet, and now you come to think of it he has been all day. Definitely no flirting. You try to steal a glance at him, see what he’s thinking, but it’s too dark, and you don’t want to turn to face him.

You cast around for a distraction, and find a piece of dilithium embedded in the rock floor of the cavern next to you. The surface is flat and glassy-smooth, but with a few imperfections, and you like the feel of it under your fingers. In your head you go over the dilithium crystal eigenstates you memorised at the academy in one of your classes in warp field mechanics, and calculate the power output you would need for your phaser to trigger different levels.

“Sir, I’d like to try something, to give us some more light. It’s safe.”

“Sure. Go ahead.”

You adjust your phaser to its second lowest setting, scoot across a little and fire on the dilithium, counting seconds in your head. It starts glowing red immediately, but as you shut the beam off the glow spreads, along one vein, then another, then another, until the whole cavern is lit up like its own galaxy, surrounding you on the floor, the walls, the ceiling.

“Wow, that’s—that’s good work. Thank you.”

There’s something in his expression as he looks at you, the wonder in his eyes melting into a smile, that makes you brave.

“So… I had an—an interesting chat with Chapel and Ortegas the other day.”

“Oh?”

“Apparently the scuttlebutt is that we’re dating... we’ve been dating for a while. They wouldn’t believe me when I told them it wasn’t true.” You stare out across the cavern at all the glimmering lights.

“Oh.” He exhales. “Hah, yeah… I’m, uh, sorry about that? Things… got away from me.” You hear him stir, move into a different position.

You frown. “I don’t understand. What are you sorry for?”

“I’ve always been interested in you. And you’re not the sort of person that’s cowed by rank – Paulson is your superior, in your chain of command, but I was in the bar when he asked you to dinner, and you were so sure of yourself when you rejected him. So that day in the turbolift, Una and Erica jumping to conclusions... Your face was a picture, and I had to take Una’s bait. But by the time she told me there was already a rumour, you were joining in, and I—”

His voice goes quiet, like a confession.

“I couldn’t stop. And that wasn’t fair to you… making you an object of gossip like that.”

“Chris, I—” but now it comes to it, you can’t find the words. How do you tell him that you wouldn’t mind, not at all, if only the gossip were real? “But you did stop. We’ve barely spoken today. Until now.”

“I can read the room. You weren’t up for it the other night. Or today. And… I would never force my attentions where they clearly aren’t wanted.”

“But... they are, Chris. They are wanted.”

The cavern is dead quiet, and you almost wonder if you actually spoke aloud. But the look in Pike’s eyes when you finally turn to meet them—

“Lieutenant Spock to Captain Pike. Come in, please.”

Pike shrugs a little, face apologetic, as he flips open his communicator.

The ride back to the Enterprise is as quiet, and bumpy, as the ride to the planet. Spock and the rest of the away team had sheltered in the shuttle with shields up while the storm passed over them, and when the Enterprise’s scanners had shown that another one was forming, they came to pick you up.

All the equipment you left outside was destroyed.

But you think, as you climb in the shuttle, you catch a glimpse of one of those star-shaped flowers, still intact. Still blooming.

And Pike makes a point to catch your eye as you leave the shuttle bay. It’s subtle, but you recognise the invitation.

You think you can smell food as you press Pike’s door chime, and the scent only gets more appetising as you walk in. The lights are low, apart from the fire burning brightly, and Pike pauses, apron on over his gold uniform, to smile at you as you walk over to the kitchen area.

“You came.”

“Of course.”

He picks a small bottle up, and pours from it into a salad bowl in front of him. “I hope you’re hungry… I may have gone a little overboard on the mac and cheese. I thought we could use a little comfort food after that planet.”

“It smells amazing. Anything I can do to help?”

“It’s almost ready. You could pour the wine?” He indicates to the bottle and two glasses on one end of his L shape table. You uncork the chilled bottle and take care of the drinks while he brings plates, salad, and the macaroni cheese, piping hot and smelling delicious.

Sitting next to Chris, rather than opposite like you might at a restaurant or on the other side of the L as you have when you’ve been to crew meals here, feels so intimate. As he reaches over to get some salad, or you go to pick up your glass to sip some chardonnay, you can’t help but touch. You try not to let being this close to him distract you… as intimate as this is, as hopeful as you are, nothing is settled.

You take a bite of your pasta and sigh. “It’s perfect, Chris. Creamy, the cheese— everything. Perfect comfort food. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” You see him relax a little as you load up another forkful; he cares what you think.

You eat for a while in companionable quiet, then he takes a breath.

“I’m planning on demoting Spock. He has the worst timing.” He quirks one of those half smiles at you, the kind that make you melt a little, but then his expression goes serious.

“My position on this ship… I have to be careful of it. Your training – everyone’s training – tells you to do as I say. So, if I’m… interested… in someone, usually I try to set that aside.” He puts his fork down and shakes his head a little. “Clearly I didn’t do well on that score with you. But… I would have to be sure, before I truly pursue anything, that a person isn’t saying yes because of my rank.”

“I told myself that flirting was just a joke between us. That you don’t get involved with your crew. I want it to be real, but when people assumed that it was… It spooked me for a moment there.” You turn to face him more fully, to look into his eyes.

“I understand what it means for you to be Captain Pike. I understand that the Enterprise comes before me. But I felt that—that pull toward you, long before whatever this was started. It’s not your rank, your position of authority, Chris, it’s you.”

Chris stands from his chair, reaching a hand out to you. You stand and take it, his fingers warm in yours, and let him draw you to him, feeling the press of his body all along yours. You stare into his eyes, and see a wonder there that you’re sure he sees in your eyes too – the knowledge that you can finally have this. But then your eyes drift shut as he kisses you, gently, unhurried, savouring the moment.

You part for just a second, and then it gets passionate as you kiss him back, one hand on his chest, while his other hand finds its way to your lower back, holding you tighter. Your lips part, his tongue finds yours and you taste him, and you can’t get enough.

“So I know your shots are up to date,” Chris says, voice gravelly, when you pause for breath. “Would you like to take this to the bedroom?”

“Yes please.” You don’t care if you sound needy; you just want him. He takes your hand again and leads the way.

You are not quite sure what happened to your dress. You remember Chris helping you take it off last night, but quite how it got this crumpled is a bit of a mystery. You lift it up from the floor, and try to shake it out, not very successfully.

“Breakfast is served,” Chris says, looking fresh and neat in his uniform, not a hair out of place. No evidence to be seen of your activities last night, or how little sleep he may have had. “Oh, did you want a new uniform? I can synthesise one.”

“No need. I’ll have time to change in my quarters before shift.” You pull it on and try to smooth your skirt. “Breakfast?”

“Waffles. And real maple syrup. I know this little farm—”

It isn’t far from Pike’s quarters to the turbolift, and the officers in the corridor nod and smile to you as usual. Until you meet Lieutenant Ortegas.

She looks you up and down, taking in your creased dress with a raised brow and a sly smile. “I saw the duty rosters; I know you’re on alpha today. So… you get lucky last night?”

You try to hide your smile, but you feel too good – you don’t really want to.

“Yes, Erica, I did.”

Everyone will know, but you don’t mind. You and Chris are at the start of something special.

[illwynd]

You mentioned months back people were calling you a “variant” because of the thing you were cosplaying. (Wasn’t it the YA version of Kid Loki?) And it instantly reminded me of how whenever I cosplay Fem Loki, people at cons always, always call me Sylvie and it’s annoying. 🙃

It was basically any comics Loki, since I have quite a few that I do (AoA, kid, Siege, Trials, etc.) and got that reaction with all of them, even Lokis that have no parallel in the show. And it was fucking CONSTANT. I was so sick of hearing that word by the end of the day. And yeah, this isn't entirely a new problem, since for some reason people have always insisted upon calling anyone who appears afab in a Loki costume "Lady Loki" even when like. they are clearly not going for that and are portraying a comics-accurate guy Loki impeccably. So you have my sympathies. If anyone called me Sylvie I would lose my shit utterly and insist on dueling them in a Denny's parking lot.

This year I almost couldn't bring myself to cosplay Loki at sdcc at all because the situation was so dire last time that it made it un-fun to even be there, and I tried to prepare by making a little "Loki Spotting Field Guide" flyer to educate people about the different comics versions and why not every Loki cosplayer they see is a goddamn variant.

But I'm happy to report that the problem was much less severe this time. There were still people who said it, but maybe only a quarter as many as last year, and those ones were more willing to be corrected and didn't automatically get huffy when I said "Nah, I'm no variant, I'm an original." People even seemed thrilled by my (kinda snarky) flyer.

I guess that is the plus side of the show sucking too bad to have much staying power. Gods willing, everyone will have forgotten that nonsense entirely in another year or two and we won't have to deal with it anymore.

[mcdbutgay]

zoeymau cheebs (click for better quality + transparent pics)

some hcs below ^^ also i love how they complement each other so much GODDD

APHMAU SHALASHASKA

- aphmau shows up at phoenix drop’s doorstep pretty much half dead. no one knows where she came from, and upon waking up she doesn't remember who she is, where she's from, nothing.

- vylad carried her here because he knew that garroth was stationed in phoenix drop and he knew that the village was in dire need of help due to it being lordless; however it doesnt get revealed until way later.

- aphmau gets carried into the guard station which is where she resides for a period of time. zoey, who was visiting phoenix drop at the time (she was a wandering 'merchant' of sorts, looking for a permanent place to stay) feels a weird presence coming from her, not magical but also not normal, and decides to prolong her stay, healing aphmau back to health with garroth's supervision.

- aphmau wakes up and is sooo grateful they took care of her and decides that as payment she’s going to help make this mess of a village better (also she has no memory of anything that happened prior or why she ended up here anyway, so it’s not like she has anywhere else to go.)

- so she fixes up the roads and helps remodel some of the houses (i feel like this version of aphmau is much less princess-like and more handy than canon aph) garroth is very grateful for this

- anyway uh i dont actually have a lot of stuff for her since i find aphmau to be somewhat bland?? ig thats bc aph is meant to be jess for the majority of s1 but yeah uhh that needs to change. this aphmau is more rough around the edges, not afraid to fend for herself and those she cares for, but also very kind and compassionate. also very bubbly at times, but around those she trusts. she’s actually kind of against the idea of having guards follow her around all the time when she first becomes lord (because she believes she can do everything on her own), but later realizes that its much better to have backup bc the world is dangerous tm

- anywayz she grows closer to zoey when she moves into her house. she finds her presence weird at first but quickly gets used to her company, and she finds that waking up to the smell of tea everyday is soothing

- she is often sent out to the woods to gather whatever herbs zoey needs for her magicks. this quickly turns into aphmau trying to find pretty flowers to bring back to her pretty wife as a gesture of love friendship. sometimes she gets scolded bc she unknowingly brings back poisonous flowers or something but zoey knows that she does it with the best of intentions and thinks its kinda cute in a way.

- also aphmau brings back zoey pretty items from her travels, usually rings, necklaces, or even pretty rocks. zoey keeps them all in her room and looks at them while working on magicks stuff

- sorta angsty but i feel like aphmau definitely feels guilty for being absent for most of levin and malachi’s childhood. way in the future i feel like she and zoey would either adopt or have a biological kid of their own that they can both be present for, now that aphmau is no longer a lord and zoey is just enjoying her last lifetime with her beloved wife.

- OH AND i find it funny that they end up together since, at least in my canon, irene and zoey were a thing way back when. so like after irene left this plane or whatever and reincarnated as aphmau its like zoey and irene found themselves again in another lifetime (more on that in zoey’s section, which i actually wrote first)

- god i really don’t have much to say abt aph lol uh she’s bisexual (fem leaning, which is why she doesn’t rlly feel anything for garroth or laurence but does get flustered around guys sometimes) and demiromantic (takes a WHILE for her to feel any romantic attraction. again its why she doesn’t feel anything for G and L LMAO)

ZOEY TALTATHEIL

- was a devout follower and close friend of irene 900 years ago. zoey, although she wasn’t part of the divine warriors, was irene’s right hand woman, and would help her with decisions etc etc.

- she was kind of like a guard but not really lol. i do feel as though she began to mess around with barrier magicks as a way to protect irene, despite the fact that it got her exhiled from her home. she’d do anything to protect her.

- they were overall very close, but due to circumstances tm they had to separate. they never saw each other again sadly

- (although there are some books written by scholars that state that at some point lady irene had a certain lady friend who she lived with and shared intimate moments with. wonder who that is :P)

- ((also irene did have a family at some point, and levin is of her bloodline. he has blonde hair and blue eyes, guess who else has blonde hair and blue eyes? garroth ZOEY (and yes also garroth but thats a coincidence imo) so i think they are at least distantly related but very much so regardless))

- enough about irene. in zoey’s long 900~ year life she’s travelled to many regions, learned about many different cultures, and met many people, some who she did settle down with at some point. due to her immortality, however, she outlived all her previous partners and since then has been afraid to settle down with anyone, afraid of losing them to time

- it wasn’t until she met aphmau and levin (and later malachi) that she began to change her mind. she began to raise her children when she was away on lord duties, and she got VERY attached to them. she treated them as her own, and soon became accustomed to the idea of having a family

- she also began to see aphmau in a more romantic light at some point during s1. she didn’t know when the change from platonic to romantic feelings began but it didn’t matter. what mattered was that she had been raising another woman’s children as though they were her very own, cooking for the 4 of them like a happy family, and literally living the life she had always wanted without even realizing it.

- anyways she sleeps with aphmau in her room despite having her own room. she uses her room more as a workspace for her magicks

- also (and this is less about zoey and more about elves in general) i feel as though elves start out with dark colored hair and with the years it slowly lightens up until it’s completely white (doesn’t matter what color; zoey’s just happened to be blonde which is why she has platinum blonde hair pre-timeskip. it obviously doesn’t change this fast, but zoey giving up her immortality did speed up the process by a LOT which is why the change was so drastic in such a small amount of time (for an elf))

- speaking of her immortality, i feel as though it was the main reason that drove her to, you know, actually become a thing with aphmau. they were practically married pre-timeskip but they never really mentioned it, both scared they’d ruin what they had. aphmau being trapped in the irene dimension was the thing that drove her to spend years of her life studying, trying to get her closest friend, no, her lover back; losing her immortality was the final push to make it official. losing her immortality mean that they’d both pass within each other’s lifetimes, which is something zoey had always wanted (that sounds morbid but imagine being immortal and outliving all your loved ones.. i feel as though one can only take so much pain before it turns you crazy)

- anyways enough angst. since zoey has lived so long and has been all over the place, she has countless stories to tell and levin and malachi always loved hearing them. post-timeskip she tells the same stories to the children of phoenix drop in her spare time. she loves being around children and overall just loves caring for ppl ^__^

- as for like sexuality hcs uhh i can’t imagine her as anything but a lesbian lol

[respectthepetty]

Heyo, I saw your post about the dire need of poly relationships in bl/gl/ql and if you want a recc: 3 will be free

It's poly (CANON!), it has an amazing plot (crimes, guns, on the run and so much more), great actors (pleaseeeee the fucking high-difference alone?!?!), a chemistry that's to die for and even the side characters made me bawl my fucking eyes out (I just realized I am in desperate need of a rewatch...)

So if you didn't watch it before and want to feed your ploy-heart, it is right there♡

Anon, the comments section of that post to @yannig's ask reminded me of a few instances of poly, so regardless if I'm counting them as QLs or not, I have watched them, and I do agree they are confirmed poly-ish:

3 Will Be Free

(mentioned by you and @ohhshucks)

I do love this show. I do. Yet I don't consider it a QL even though it IS queer, and Director Jojo and Cinematographer Rath gave us ten episodes of stunning visuals. There is a nerdy (virgin) rich boy with a mafia dad, a sex worker the rich boy knew from school who was sleeping with the rich boy's stepmom, and another sex worker who has the brain cell to keep them all alive. It's queer. It's poly. It's beautiful.

Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend

(mentioned by @twig-tea)

To be honest, I don't remember much from this one because I was constantly distracted by Honda's beauty, who is one of the leads. It has a married couple who get thrown for a loop when the wife's former student pops back into their lives showing affection for both of them. There's more, and I'm sure the wife's female best friend was in love with her too, but, like I wrote, I was distracted, so it's poly-ish, yeah?

Club Sapan Fine 2 - Episode 2

(mentioned by @veemark)

I actually uploaded this for everyone to enjoy because I was so excited to see YinWar's characters in a confirmed poly relationship with Yoon's character. If anyone wants to watch it, download it so you can see the entire 41 minutes instead of just watching the 30 minute version. War plays the finance daddy whose money supports his sex-positive boyfriend and his domestic king who keeps the house tidy. I've watched it no less than twenty times. I love it. It's amazing. It's only one episode which is why I didn't count it, but it deserves the recognition!

Deep Night (?)

Do what Pit Babe refused to do with North x Kim x Sonic or Kenta x Pete x Way.

GIVE ME POLY!

[samwisethewitch]

In Defense of Fluffy Bunnies, or Witchcraft in Times of Burnout

At the very end of 2023, I used my Christmas bonus from work to buy myself a tarot deck I never would have purchased six months earlier.

This deck was from a creator whose work I had really enjoyed in the past, but when I had looked at it earlier in the year, I'd had concerns that it was softening the meaning of some of the more "difficult" cards in the tarot. For example, The Hanged Man is replaced with "The Patient Witch" and Death is replaced with "The Broom." I'd had concerns that replacing these cards, which are traditionally associated with more dire or upsetting readings, meant the creator was trying to whitewash tarot into something cute and fluffy, sacrificing a lot of its depth in the process.

The deck is The Cozy Witch Tarot by Amanda Lovelace, and I'm so glad I gave it a try. This deck has an incredibly kind and gentle feel, but it is absolutely capable of giving serious readings. The depth of the tarot hasn't been compromised at all by Lovelace's changes, and her version's greater emphasis on agency and personal empowerment is exactly what I need in my practice right now. I use this deck to read for myself almost every day.

So what changed? How did I do a complete 180 in my thoughts on this deck in only a few months?

I've always been very opposed to "love and light" or "fluffy bunny" witchcraft. For those who aren't familiar, these are both terms used online (usually negatively) to describe witches who only do "light" or positive magic. According to the Witchipedia, "Generally, the 'fluffy bunnies' have based their practice on only the most delightful aspects of their spiritual path or romanticized, fictional Hollywood or literary accounts of witchcraft or Wicca." From what I can tell, this term came out of Wiccan Internet forums in the 1990s, and it refers to someone who dons the aesthetics and mythology of Wicca or witchcraft without actually engaging critically with magic theory. Fluffy bunnies also tend to focus on feel-good magic, at least according to stereotypes.

Similarly, "love and light" witches are known for only focusing on the lighthearted side of witchcraft. In an opinion article for The Wild Hunt, Storm Faerywolf writes that, "On the surface it seems harmless enough: a philosophy of love, kindness, non-violence, and a concerted practice of positivity." This type of witchcraft is very closely tied to the "spiritual but not religious" movement and borrows a lot of concepts from New Age spirituality, like crystal healing, the Law of Attraction, and chakras. While fluffy bunnies are very much a product of the 1990s, love and light witches are very much a product of the New Age boom of the 2010s.

I've been very vocal about my dislike for both of these types of witchcraft on this blog in the past, and I still 100% agree with Storm Faerywolf, who says in that same article: "But to assert that pain, and fear, and even anger are somehow less important than our joy, our courage, and even our love, is to do a grave disservice to our collective mental and spiritual health... groups that embrace this mode of thinking have effectively ensured that they can mutually avoid anything that might challenge their cultish mindset. Angry over injustice? You’re just living in a lower vibration. Afraid of contracting a deadly virus? You just don’t trust Jesus enough."

I think accepting and working with challenging emotions is an important part of what it means to be a witch. Spiritual bypassing and cries of "good vibes only" do more harm than good. But for a while I got so caught up in rejecting anything even remotely fluffy or love-and-lightish that I ended up with a magical practice that, to be honest, kind of made me miserable. And I don't think I'm the only one.

I spent a lot of 2022 and 2023 wrestling with injustice, both in my spiritual practice and in my personal and professional life. My practice is inspired by witches like Starhawk and Christy C. Road, and politics play a key role. Most of the spells I did in 2023 fall into the category of justice magic, including breaking family curses and hexing rapists. At the same time, I was working a series of direct services jobs that saw me working closely with homeless teenagers, domestic violence victims, and people battling addiction, just to name a few. And that's not even getting into my personal life and recovery as a queer, disabled survivor of abuse.

And let me tell you: By the end of 2023, I was fucking exhausted. I was beyond burnout. And I didn't even want to do magic anymore, because magic had become just another part of my life where I had to face the injustice and harm happening in the world around me.

I was in desperate need of some fluffiness, some love and light. And that was when I bought the Amanda Lovelace tarot deck.

I knew something had to change. In my burnout, I desperately needed to be tenderly cared for. I needed my spiritual practice to be a source of peace and comfort, not a drain on my energy. I needed to get out of the dark for a bit so I could remember how to see the stars.

What I've realized in the last few months is that yes, anger, pain, and fear are important in a balanced magical practice and a balanced life -- but joy, love, and comfort are equally important. And if you spend a lot of time in one part of your life dealing with pain and fear (like I do in my day job), focusing on love and healing in your witchcraft can help keep things balanced.

"Comfort" and "care" are definitely the keywords for my magical practice right now, and that means my magic looks a lot more fluffy than it has in the past. And that's a good thing.

[hms-tardimpala]

Ficbinding: the Cultivation series

Over the weekend I bound the Cultivation series by xxSparksxx.

The fic: The Hobbit, bagginshield, rated G and T, 25.8k The series is composed of Roots and the sequel Branches. Synopsis for Roots:

Here in Erebor, among the Dwarves who had reclaimed their home with blood and sweat, Bilbo could almost forget that he was a Hobbit of the Shire. He could almost forget that Hobbits were not as other beings of Middle-earth, and that a mountain devoid of rich plant life was not the place for one such as he.

The fics are set post Battle of the Five Armies. Thorin and his nephews survived, and Bilbo settled in the rebuilding Erebor, but it starts to affect his health in a dire way. In the second fic, a certain Frodo Baggins appears... These fics are incredibly well-written, they're about cultural differences a lot, and that's one of the things I like the most about Thorin and Bilbo. The secondary characters are great too, special mention to Tauriel. And I loved Bilbo in this story, and I have a really hard time finding versions of him I like in fics (even in the book and movies, tbh, I'm a more of a Thorin guy).

The bind: I'm continuing my foray into smaller books (smaller than an A6 format) with this. I chose green for the cover and bookmark and brown for the headbands to go with the nature theme of the story. As usual, no titles on my books.

Things I'm happy about:

the margins: I'm learning to use my guillotine well and this is the first book I'm very happy with regarding margins. I tend to cut too much and struggle to cut straight, but this is a beauty.

the well-rounded spine

the decorations at the beginning and end of the stories, and next to the page numbers

the typesetting in general, with the drop caps and fonts.

All the things I'm less happy about are linked to the material I used for the cover. It's too-thick pleather that's not made for bookbinding, so I can't make a crease near the spine with it, I can't make elegant corners, and other minor flaws. The thing is bookbinding materials are expensive, and I can't put too much money into what is ultimately a hobby, so I have to use my stock of cheap and not great materials first.

But I really like this one! It's sturdy and small and nice, and it'll make rereading this series very pleasant.

Feel free to ask me about materials and fonts, it won't bother me at all to tell you what I used, but I'm too lazy rn to write it in this post that's long enough already.

[nightcolorz]

HI CUTIE PIE ARMANDTOLOGIST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE I have a question and it’s really important

Does Armand like Dr Pepper yes or no

(But also actually thoughts on the way they changed up Armand’s backstory in the show? Cuz now he’s kinda like musical Armand and ik you love that guy real, I JUST WANT UR THOUGHTS)

HI BELOVED HUSBAND LOML SECOND IN COMMAND ARMANDOLOGIST 😍😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

thus is an amazing question….Armand loves doctor pepper and he has a crippling addiction to it (I know this bcus he told me). The fizzy texture makes him tweak out like cats do when they go crazy randomly and his eyes go huge and dilated and he rolls around wildly for like ten minutes straight 🥰

My thoughts on how they changed up Armand’s backstory in the show is that I LOVE IT!! 🙏🙏so so true so true I love musical Armand he is so funny and real, that is such a good comparison. What I love about musical armand is that in making armand a very visible explicit adult while keeping his backstory relatively the same they kind of lean into this alternate reality where by growing up Armand sort of experienced living “past his prime” and was turned in less of a preservation of his beauty and youth (🤢) and more of in a panicked, pathetic last ditch move, which rlly kind of hammers home the sad kicked dog vibe he has ❤️. Like, I love the thematic value of Armand being an eternal child so much. It’s just so so sad and effective, picturing him as this visible child who is yknow, torturing and killing ppl and leading cults, and even owning property and running businesses, but no matter what he is doing he is always displaying this very apparent physical reminder of his stunted growth and his trauma, that will always be anyone’s first impression of him, that causes him active inconveniences and insecurities. He’s a physical embodiment of the most vulnerable time in his life, trying despite it to gain respect and instill fear. He’s like a child ghost!! I love how his stunted growth manifests as a disability, I love how he is often perceived as a girl bcus of his appearance which adds a trans layer, i love how when Armand’s sad he appears for a moment like the child who was abused, I love love love it.

And that version of Armand will always be my favorite, but I still LOVE the way in the show (and musical before her) is doing it. Back on the topic of the musical, while I don’t think it can carry the same layer of tragedy and depth as the books, the musical frames Armand in a way that’s very upsetting in a different way. He’s like, very pathetic 😭. This grown ass man still stuck in time as a “beautiful youth”, longing for the man who sexually abused him when he was fifteen, stuck in the mindset of the child he was, looking for his past in everything he does and everyone he meets. It’s different, but still carry’s that tragic weight 😭. But the musical wasn’t interested (or maybe didn’t have the time) in exploring that tragedy in any depth, so Armand’s pathetic past his prime vibe is framed more as almost comedically embarrassing then sad. And on the note of the show!!!!! What I love so so much about show Armand’s backstory changes is that they take what the musical was putting down but didn’t have time for and explore it with all the weight it needs, and it’s SO GOOD!!!

Armand as not of a literal external youth but instead a metaphorical one, a technical adult who was kept as a slave and treated as a child for his entire adulthood until he was eventually thrust into vampirism and subsequently abandoned, so he carry’s this internal stunting, is AMAZING. He was raised in a way that instilled in him and prevented him from ever being a functioning, independent person, and then forced into roles of dire leadership and horrible loneliness. In one of my fics I compare him to a pampered lap dog who’s been abandoned on the streets. Amc Armand reminds me of the song memory from cats, which has always reminded me of Armand but hits harder in this version. He’s so 😭😭 abandoned elderly cat who is longing for his past (which for Armand was super shitty, but remains the only time he was loved) and just looking to experience that love and comfort again 😭. The “love and comfort” that was sexual and physical abuse and literal enslavement 😭. It’s so sad.

I love that amc iwtv doesn’t necessarily change Armand’s backstory of being sold into slavery, but rlly hammers home in the details that he was and continued to be a slave. The racial element is just, ugh, omg, so mf good. They take Armand’s trauma in the books of being deprived of his cultural background by being sold into slavery and bought by Marius, and basically cut off from his religious beliefs and made to feel alienated from religion bcus of his sexual trauma, and by making Armand a person of color rlly elevate that in a super sad super meaningful way. I also love how they add little horrific traumas to rlly instill that Armand was a slave to Marius, that he was his property. Rlly sad!!! 😭 I love it.

the only thing that I don’t like about the changes in Armand’s backstory (which r not a lot, and r mostly based in Assad zaman’s casting whom I love as Armand, they stay surprisingly faithful to the books) Is the thing where Armand’s parents (apparently) willingly sold him into slavery. Part of the huge tragedy with Armand being sold and loosing himself to that is that his parents were not perfect, and not especially good to him, but they loved him so so much, and he looses his memory and connection to two parents who love and miss him, and are devastated by loosing him. Which even tho it’s technically a better reality for Armand then, he had parents who betrayed him, it hits sm harder imo. But, I don’t resent the writers for that bcus I have a theory that I think it’s very likely that the reality of the books is true, and Armand believes that his parents sold him bcus that was a lie Marius fed him to ease his own guilt about keeping Armand from his family so that he can sexually abuse him. If my theory is wrong, and Armand’s parents rlly did sell him, I will be disappointed and wish they stayed more faithful to the books, but I won’t be super mad cuz I love everything else they r doing so much, and it doesn’t retract from that too much.

On the subject of amc and musical Armand comparisons, I hope the show adapts/ takes inspo from a change that the musical made that I love a lot and think could rlly rlly work in the show. In the musical, during the scene where Armand throws Lestat off the tower, Lestat pushes Armand into doing this by mockingly telling him that Marius is alive and has not only chosen to not reconnect with armand bcus he’s not as important to him as Armand perceives, but also he has told Lestat how Armand was a mistake and he should have never made him bcus Marius thinks he’s crazy and beyond hope. And musical armand screams at Lestat that he’s lying, shouts HE LOVED ME!!! And pushes lestat off the tower, bcus he refuses to accept the reality of his fucked up relationship with Marius. Which, dude, I literally love that change in the musical sm and almost wish it was in the books. I sometimes forget that in the books Armand finds out Marius is alive from Lestats book offscreen and we don’t see his immediate reaction at all, just his reaction to reuniting with Marius after already processing that he’s alive. I RLLY HOPE that amc iwtv takes this change the musical made and elevates it, bcus I am the only guy who talks about it and I need everyone else to care 😭. It would translate so perfectly in the show amc pls hire me.

THWNK U SM FOR THE ASK BBY I LOVE THESE QUESTIONS I LOVE YAPPING!!! ILY

[toaarcan]

You ever think about how extremely traumatic the first two arcs of the Archie reboot would've been for all the characters?

They're just living their normal lives, when one day Sonic starts babbling about a completely different history where most of them were in extremely dire straits, and starts using Nicole to overwrite their extant memories with those of the previous universe.

Like, imagine being Sally in that situation. You come home from a dangerous but routine mission to find all your friends acting like you've just come back from the dead. They hand you your computer and suddenly your mind is filled with memories of a much different world to this one, a much darker and more painful one, filled with death and constant betrayal. Your last memories are now filled with weeks of watching your mechanised, vivisected body mindlessly serve your nemesis, and try to kill your friends and family. You were (probably) awake when Eggman carved you up with a blowtorch, while monologuing creepily about how smart you are, right before he crammed a cannon in where your brain should be. You almost died because Eggman designed your new form so badly that you ran out of power on your first mission as his pawn, only to be 'saved' by someone who loved you, and now doesn't exist.

But it's not just that. That would be bad enough. You also remember that this other version of you had a living mother. A mother who loved her and supported her and tried to be there for her. Yours has been dead since you were a child. You're still a child, but you've never felt less like one than you do right now. You had a brother too. He had a wife and a daughter, you had a niece and and a sister-in-law. They're gone. In fact, they're not just gone. They never existed. You have memories of people that never existed. All your friends apparently do. These other versions of them all had families. Here, they're all orphans, except for Rotor, who now remembers a world where his father wasn't an abusive bastard that serves Eggman out of some warped sense of social darwinism, something he can never have in this one.

On the other hand, your father, whom you know as a kind, generous, and reasonable man, was in this other world a controlling, emotionally abusive asshole, a major factor in a massive mental breakdown you endured and struggled with for months on end.

And then shortly afterwards, these memories begin to fade. Maybe you're okay with forgetting Mecha Sally. Maybe you're okay with forgetting that Nigel was ever Maximilian. But now you're also forgetting Alicia and Elias and Megan and Alexis, people who only existed in your memory. You won't remember how many people Eggman killed with the Super Genesis Wave. There will never be justice for them, and in a few short days, you won't even remember their names.

[hishighnesstheprincess]

Okay massive ramble about Sonic code-switching with all of his friends in Frontiers because. It makes me big emotional. Under cut because it's a decently sized one

With each of his friends in Frontiers (Amy, Knuckles, and Tails in that order) Sonic presents a different version of himself, specifically the version that he thinks they need to see at that moment. Code-switching, at least with how it's used in psychology, is defined as when someone, subconsciously or consciously, adjusts their language, behavior, appearance, or any combination of those for whatever reason when talking with different people/groups of people. This can be as obvious as changing languages if you have different friend groups that speak different languages, or as subtle as changing one word when trying to relay the exact same idea to someone. In Frontiers I think Sonic demonstrates this behavior specifically with how he presents different sides of himself to his friends.

With Amy, before she gets out he is very openly worried about her and the situation they're all in, but as soon as she's out he starts presenting himself in a slightly calmer, more compassionate, more heroic way. He's trying to live up to the ideal of him Amy needs to see in that moment: the hero who will never stop trying to save everyone and can't be defeated.

With Knuckles, he's obviously much snarkier and more "free spirited" or so, but he still doesn't show how much he's worried or what his actual emotions are. Any emotional talk they have is instead focused on Knuckles and his emotions and what he wants to do in his future. I think he's presenting himself in a very snarky way because of Knuckles sees him caring a decent amount but not too much, and not showing a whole ton of worry, he's going to think the situation is serious but not as dire as it actually is. He's also trying to stop Knuckles from worrying.

With Tails there's the clearest example of it imo. He's the cool older brother who's always going to save the day. He deliberately hides the worst symptoms of cyber corruption from Tails and again, all their talks are focused on Tails and his future and emotions and all that. Sonic never focuses on himself in this game, it's all about other people. He's always encouraging Tails and trying to help him even in moments where, let's face it, Sonic could probably use some emotional support as well.

He's fucking code switching between his friends to both comfort them, stop them from worrying about a situation which they have very very little power over, and also to stop them from worrying about him.

Also, interestingly, he slowly gets less genuine as the game goes on. With Amy he openly shows worry about the situation to some extent even while deflecting from his own problems, with Knuckles he's fairly obviously putting on a snarky face but still isn't actively hiding anything from him, but with Tails he deliberately hides his own weakness both in conversation and when it comes to the very obvious cyber corruption.

This is all pretty upsetting but imo the worst part about it (emotionally speaking, writing wise this is all the good shit™) is that none of them ever see him at his worst and as such don't realize that he's been putting on a facade for them essentially. Only Sage sees him trying to struggle through the worst of cyber corruption, at that point basically knowing that freeing his friends will lead to himself being trapped in cyberspace. Personally I'd love to see a game in the future (Frontiers 2 please please please Sega) where this gets expanded upon more.

Additionally, there is at least one moment with each of his friends where he slips up in how he present himself: with Amy he shows frustration with the koco leading to her getting angry with him, with Knuckles he shows worry for Tails leading to Knuckles giving him a confused look, and with Tails he is unable to hide the effects of cyber corruption, leading to Tails getting extremely worried about him. But in each case he brushes their emotions off, slaps whatever face he has at the time back on, and just keeps going.

Anyway, that's the post. I would have slapped pictures in here but I am lazy and just relying on the fact that I have a borderline encyclopedic knowledge of basically every Sonic thing that I have consumed in full at this point. The autism is strong with this one

[nicoleanell]

Another smart post going around reminded me of this thing that's been in my drafts, so you gonna hear some SURPRISE RENFIELD 2023 DEEP THOUGHTS FROM ME. <3

Going back to this post which still does occasional numbers,

I feel some ways about how Robert Montague Renfield is overflowing with empathy for other people despite his own circumstances being a million times more dire. He adopts calling the group's abusers "monsters" despite intimiately knowing an actual genuine monster and arguably being one himself.

Like he could've EASILY taken a look around that support group and been like "boo hoo call me when your literal intestines are coming out of your body", but instead of ever looking down on them or treating it as a competition over who has suffered most, he meets them at the place where they're hurting and absorbs it and connects to his hurt. He recognizes it as part of the same continuum, even when the details don't line up or measure evenly, it's Real and an experience he can imagine or relate to. Which is a good thing for support and/or therapy in a group setting.

Later on he lightly calls Rebecca out for her anger issues, but then after she rants about the source of that anger, his response is an utterly sincere "that sounds painful." INTESTINES. OUT OF HIS BODY. MAYBE 48 HOURS + 1 BAD HAIRCUT AGO. HE HAS JUST SHOWERED OFF THE BLOOD OF THE ONLY FRIENDS AND ALLIES HE HAD. But he winces in sympathy over her corruption and dead dad stuff.

And yes, I also feel a way about how that's a part of his nature that's been either exploited or fully trained into him by Dracula, because we ALSO see that in their interactions - "you deserve better", "I know being undead is a painful existence." Like… the fact he constantly leads off with empathy and validation of other people's feelings and that's the way he diffuses Rebecca's anger in that moment is not NOT linked to his codependency issues and the ways he's been abused. Of course everyone else's pain is not less valid than his, it's more valid actually!! He is more than happy to shut up about his needs and his trauma and declare someone else as the priority and Life's Main Character. The way he's still apologizing compulsively and transferring his submissiveness and fawn behavior to somebody else is very much a thing other people have pointed out, jokingly and sincerely.

But in spite of that, I still think it's ultimately a sign of his kindness and genuine compassion for others. And it doesn't have to be a one-way street.

Rebecca is (pretty understandably!) not as sympathetic to him in that scene as he's being with her, because she's still very freaked out and thought he was an ENTIRELY different type of weirdo than the weirdo he's turned out to be. But. Less than an hour later she is listening with an open mind while he tells her the most bluntly holding-myself-accountable, not-self-pitying version of his story and her takeaway is not only "you're not a bad person", it's specifically: I've done shit that I regret too, and being mean to my sister is on an almost LAUGHABLY smaller scale than anything you just said to me, but the point is I recognized your feelings on a basic humanity level somewhere in there and related to that. Again not a competition, and not about their experiences being perfectly in proportion with each other! It's good.

[talkshowboyluvr]

heres a brief analysis of both book and movie treech in my writing and why i portray him the way i do :)

i have VASTLY different understandings of treech compared to the majority of people i've seen but since like... 5 people here know me on ao3 i want to explain how i write him and why.

despite how awfully the movie did represent him in comparison to the books, i think when you boil both versions down, they share some core similarities. but, they have one KEY difference — his violent nature.

starting with book treech, the three main aspects of him that i like to portray is his kindness, intelligence and his immaturity.

book treech juggles in the zoo and decides to kick his feet on the scoreboard, two things that i believe depict a sort of childlike innocence. treech's age is never given -though i do agree he's probably around 16/17 - but, his actions illustrate that in situations as dire as the hunger games, even tributes who are clearly able to kill hold the characteristics of a younger person.

his intelligence is shown throughout his game plan in the arena. much like foxface, treech spends the entire time hiding and taking rations from other tributes. this is a tatic that relies heavily on smarts instead of brute strength. this is one of the main reasons i wrote him to want to be teacher in allies or enemies in the arena.

treech's kindness is mostly shown through his death. in the books treech dies due to lucy gray throwing herself into his arms and hugging him, which he. sort of returns? either way, i think his weakness clearly being a literal embrace coveys how he wanted comfort instead of violence. even in his last moments he bashes the snake to death instead of lucy gray. so, in show your fangs i made sure to get it clear that treech was a SWEET boy, put in an awful position that took no pleasure in killing.

i tend to focus on movie treech's vindictiveness, cowardice and empathy.

treech's empathy is shown through his reactions to lamina and tanners deaths. in the movies his reaction to laminas death is clear - regret, guilt and such. and with tanner though its more muted the same is felt as, treech takes the trident out of his body (something I wrote in from eden and fire behind his eye to be to let him bleed out faster and be in less pain) and looks mournful when he looks at tanners body.

treech's cowardice is illustrated through him abandoning lamina. now, it's clear he didn't wish to leave her, however he's rightfully fearful about the consequences not going with coral could have. is it completely understandable why he left? absolutely. is it still something that stems from a lack of bravery in the situation? yes!

treech's vindictiveness is portrayed through his seeming hatred for lucy gray. this is where his character varies the most from the book — movie treech is very violent compared to the book. he seems to hold a grudge against lucy gray (something i believe is due to laminas death happening because lucy gray got away, then tanners happening because she smashed the water) and actively targets her, along with coral.

to me, movie treech can be borderline classed as mentally unaware towards the end as he seems to lose himself after laminas death, becoming completely involved with killing, instead of only following instructions as he had been prior.

obviously the major difference between book treech and movie treech is him joining the pack, however i think this can relate to book treech if you look at through the lense of him being coward. he is a coward in the books, as he completely stays away from any confrontation until he knows the other tribute is weak enough for him to take and movie treech is simply fearful of the target it puts on his back.

i often make jokes about book treech and movie treech being two completely different people, however the only difference i say that truly comes from his personality is his violent nature and sadistic enjorment in the movies.

my work that focuses on book treech — work song and show your fangs — definitely makes him a teenager who is fearful of the games and is lucid throughout the arena and has his own panics about morality and his want to go home.

my work that focuses on movie treech — a fire behind his eye and from eden — are more or less depictions of a mentally ill teenager losing his mind. (and him being autistic, but that's more a projection.)

thats all! <3