lee-yan-druh

[sinfully-divine]

@sinsofchaos ( X <- Continued from here! )

"Yeah I diiiiIIIIIIID!!!"

She knew exactly what was going to happen. Yet when it did, it caught her off guard immensely as her folds immediately enclosed Green Heart's cock, locking it in place whilst it throbbed inside her.

"Oh wow! You're even better than Black Heart! This is so much more stimulating!"

[divinityunleashed]

"As a special gift for everyone who loves bunnies, I shall release the bunnies!"

[museincarnate]

🐝 * ― 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒.

❛  excuse me, i think i’m lost.  ❜

( As Adult Neptune for any muse of your choosing! )

Despite their collective ability, as a group, to be isolated in the wilderness while they traveled, it seemed as though someone had stumbled across Hati's gang's camp; announcing herself and her situation, for the ragtag group to acknowledge with slightly off-putting stares. Two Majins, two Namekians, two Arcosians, and...

What appeared to be a Saiyan would rise from his seated position, to approach Neptune. She seemed kind enough, and what started as an irritable expression, would quickly soften to something more neutral, if not careful.

"And I take it you weren't heading for anywhere in particular, in the woods?" He'd sigh, momentarily, as if he was slightly being inconvenienced.

"Where were you headed? If I know where it is, I guess I can guide you."

[intonightcity]

total: 61 | female: 32 | male: 27 | tbd: 2 | private: 4 ( list under the cut )

Stephanie Acker. 24. homosexual not yet out. mikey madison fc. Make Up Specialist. Cosmetology assistant. Affiliate of Boutique Fresh Products. best friend of Angelica Ramirez ( @itsagraywcrld )

Veronica Allen. 33. bisexual. teyonah parris fc. Model. Glam Shell Modelling Agency. ex of Landon Wynter in Hollywood verse.

Veer Alvi. 31. bisexual. dev patel fc. Nightly News Network CEO. Media Millionaire.

Theo Anton. 50. heterosexual. andrew lincoln fc. Grace's Auction Authority President. Authenticator. uncle of Landon Wynter

Daniel Baker. 32. homosexual. david anders fc. Adult Star For Starduxxxe Studios: face of horror themed adult fare

Dawn Black. 29. homosexual. kristen stewart fc. Former Model. Adult Star for Starduxxxe Studios: where stylized adult entertainment brings more bang for the buck. Ex of Esmeralda Domingo.

Kurt Burrows. 33. bisexual. andrew west fc. Historian & Genealogist for NCHS (Night City Historical Society). half brother of Landon Wynter unknown at this time

Claudia Chen. 32. heterosexual. gemma chan fc. Actress. NYU Film friend of Landon Wynter in Hollywood verse.

Lavinia Cortez. 27. bisexual. sofia carson fc. Horror Host. Producer for Toxic Talk on the Frightful Follies Network.

Duncan 'The Scots Terror' Cloud. 45. tom hardy fc. Underground Fighter. Warrior Octagon.

Lucian Craven. 34. heterosexual. abel tesfaye fc. Owner of Diamond Casino. Severin Founder.

Lee Alonto Danger. 32. bisexual. manny jacinto fc. Adult Star for Starduxxxe Studios: the male face of the company

Esmeralda Domingo. 33. bisexual. shay mitchell fc. Executive & Acolyte. Diamond Casino. Severin. girlfriend of Landon Wynter (only in a default verse where he or she has no ship present).

Emeline Entwistle. 31. heterosexual. blake lively fc. Actress. canon ex of Landon Wynter

Tobias Fairchild. 38. bisexual. ed speleers fc. Producer. Head of Majestic Studios. Rival of Landon Wynter & Cosmic Vault Productions.

Holland Frost. 46. bisexual w/female pref. sarah paulson fc. Doctor of Technical Sciences & Gene Theory. Frost Synthetics. Outer District.

Jaime Garza. 35. bisexual. peter gadiot. Bar Owner. Neptune's Folly. Formerly Associated with Alejandro Silva's organization. selective muse

Munro Gordon. 38. bisexual. matt smith fc. Defense Attorney. Night City DA candidate. private muse ( @txnnesseehoney )

Natalie Hill. 31. bisexual. zoe kravitz fc. Tabloid Queen. Media brand Lipstick Gossip: where sex sells, lies are truth & celebrities get trashed. Former best friend of Jade Winthrope.

Susan Horowitz. 31. heterosexual. carlson young fc. Golden Girl of wealth. Owner of Ruby Casino. Rival to Lucian Craven. Obsessed w/ Landon Wynter since high school.

Jackson Hunter. 37. heterosexual. andrew garfield fc. Night City PD. Dabbler in Cat's Eye deals. PD partner of Dal Kang.

Charlene Jones. 44. bisexual. zoe saldana fc. Former Adult Star. Current Executive Producer at Starduxxxe Studios.

Dal Kang. 40. bicurious. gong yoo fc. Night City PD. Head of Corruption Crackdown Unit. PD partner of Jackson Hunter.

Alara Kaya. 28. bisexual. hande ercel fc. Dancer. The Pink Room: Erotic Dance Club. private muse ( @txnnesseehoney )

Ophelia Keal. 26. heterosexual. tilly keeper fc. Aspiring Actress. Socialite. friend of Frankie Hughes ( @stvrlyte )

Mark Lansing. 31. heterosexual. chace crawford fc. News Anchor for Nightly News Network. Film Agent (Hollwood verse only).

Camilla Luna. 28. lindsey morgan fc. Oceanographer. Ocean Ways Institute. fiancee of Lance Wynter in twin au. request muse ( all interactions take place prior to her accidental drowning )

Crystal Maddox. 25. bicurious. grace van patten fc. Venus Escort. Cousin of Jade Winthrope.

Gloria Mancini. 30. heterosexual. dakota johnson fc. Media Guru. Assistant Executive for Lipstick Gossip.

Cristobal Mardones. 48. heterosexual. pedro pascal fc. Gold & Gloss Loan CEO. selective muse

Natalya 'Talya' Mardones. 52. bisexual. salma hayek fc. Fashion Consultant & Design. Wife of Cristobal Mardones

Trent Miller. 43. heterosexual. anthony mackie fc. Glam Shell Modelling Agency CEO.

Talia Morgan. 40. bisexual. michelle rodriquez fc. Underground Fighter. Warrior Octagon.

Nadine Moore. 42. bisexual. freema agyeman fc. Doctor of Pathology. Dawn's Light Hospital.

Tabitha Nunes. 27. daniela nieves fc. Gold & Gloss Loan. Former Friend & Rival of Angelica Ramirez ( @itsagraywcrld )

Bijou Otieno. 36. lupita nyong'o fc. bisexual. Cat's Eye Black Market Madame. Voodoo Matron.

Karla Patterson. 52. bisexual. hallee berry fc. Madame of Venus. Sophisticated Escort Services. on again/off again with Ethan Wynter.

Selene Patterson. 27. heterosexual. tati gabrielle fc. NCHS (Night City Historical Society) Historian. best friend of Camilla Luna.

Miguel Perez. 26. bisexual. aron piper fc. Muertos Gang Leader. Enemy of Angelica Ramirez ( @itsagraywcrld )

Cassandra Porter. 36. bisexual. zazie beetz fc. Boutique Fresh Cosmetics. Youtube Beauty Guru. Infleuncer.

Angelo 'Bonecrusher' Reyes. 50. dave bautista fc. Warrior Octagon. Undefeated Underground Fighter.

Miranda Royce. 29. bisexual. nicola peltz fc. Fashion Designer. Glam Shell. Daughter of Holland Frost.

Elyse Saetan. 32. bisexual. prang kannarun fc. Owner of Fusion Implosion & Chef.

Yuri Sage. 25. bicurious. jennie kim fc. Escort for Venus.

Marigold Sinclaire. 34. bicurious. amanda seyfried fc. Failed Starlet. Telemarketer.

Alejandro Silva. 40. bicurious. diego luna fc. Owner of The Coast Car Dealership. Car Meet Street Racing Promoter. family friend of the Mendoza's ( @ixonmaiden @deathlycombinations )

Giselle Steele. 30. bisexual. ana de armas fc. Model. Glam Shell Modelling Agency. wife of Alejandro Silva (verse&plot dependant)

Calvin Sterling. 42. heterosexual. ben mckenzie fc. Cat's Eye Black Market. Bijou Otieno's Hired Gun.

Feng Tao. 59. homosexual. tony leung fc. Owner of The Pink Room: Erotic Dance Club. Head of the Viper Syndicate.

Yue Tao. 34. bisexual. meng'er zhang fc. Manager of The Pink Room: Erotic Dance Club. Daughter of Feng Tao.

Derek Thorton. 33. heterosexual. dylan o'brien fc. Cat's Eye Black Market. Illicit Trades In Protection & Killer services. private muse ( @txnnesseehoney )

Maya Tran. 40. bisexual. maggie q fc. Cosmic Vault Productions Affiliate. Celebrity assistant & publicist. Assistant to Landon Wynter in Hollywood verse.

Archibald Tumblety. 54. bisexual. daniel craig fc. Producer. Starduxxxe Studios Owner.

Vivienne Wilcox Violet. 26. heterosexual. zaria simone fc. Adult Star for Starduxxxe Studios: female face of the company.

Jade Winthrope. 30. heterosexual. shailene woodley fc. Night City PD Forensic Analyst.

Marius Wright. 48. heterosexual. omari hardwick fc. Former Underground Fighter. Owner of Warrior Octagon.

Aiden Wynter. 22. heterosexual. felix mallard fc. Photography Major. Son of Landon Wynter & Eloise Gray. exclusive muse ( @itsagraywcrld )

Benjamin Wynter. 21. homosexual. christopher briny fc. Street Artist. Son of Landon Wynter & Eloise Gray. exclusive muse ( @itsagraywcrld )

Ethan Wynter. 54. heterosexual. keanu reeves fc. Hitman. Business Partner of The Pink Room: Erotic Dance Club. Adopted brother of Julian Wynter. Uncle of Landon Wynter.

Florence Anton Wynter. 56. bisexual. michelle gomez fc. Author. Freelance Web Writer. Mother of Landon Wynter.

Julian Wynter. 58. heterosexual. greg kinnear fc. Executive Producer. Majestic Studios. Father of Landon Wynter.

exclusive muses ::: created solely for extended family or connections in specific ship verses private muses ::: reserved for plots, connections, ships with a specific mun only selective muses ::: highly selective in who they will interact against face claims ::: I do not adhere to banned lists for starter calls posted on this blog. So pls specify to avoid using a muse with a face that is on your banned as I will not use alts. DNI ::: Young child muses. Personal blogs. Non mutuals.

[jocelynmakenna]

Do you ever have a weird compulsion to do math? Do you like Critical Role? ME TOO!

Now dear reader you may wonder what that has to do with anything and let me tell you, it means that I create the weirdest math problems to try and solve, and cannot physically rest before I have done them. The following post is brought to you from my 1 am musings:

Assuming that the Great Ruiner was proportioned correctly when he punched Marquet into being a desert, how big would he have been?

Let's start off with some assumptions:

1. The desert of Marquet is 1000 mi x 1000 mi. This is likely not accurate but given how crazy these numbers are about to get I doubt it matters all that much, it was just my best guess.

2. The average area for a fist for an adult male is 27 in^2 (source Google)

3. I am an idiot for working in freedom units and will rectify this shortly.

4. The Great Ruiner has a height of about 6 ft (1.8m) which honestly is probably too short but this is about to get stupid so let's keep him short.

Ok math time:

So let's start with trying to find the growth factor (x) for our devious god, aka what we are multiplying our normal fist size by to get the final fist size.

27in^2 × x = 1,000,000 mi^2

But those are different units and honestly imperial sucks so let's change it to metric.

0.02m^2 × x = 2.59e12 m^2

Big numbers but that's ok, let's use some algebra and solve:

x = 1.295e14

Now we have our growth factor! Excellent! So all we have to do now is take the height of our god started at and multiply it by our growth factor! (Also: 6ft -> 1.8 m)

1.8 m × 1.295e14 = 2.33e14 m = 2.33e11 km

Well that's a big number, let's put it in some context! The first thing I thought when I saw that was "oh god 233 billion km... How big is a light year?"

LUCKILY! 2.33e11 km = 0.02 light years. Thank God we're still in the solar system.

So what's the best unit to use here? Astronomical units (AU)! 1 AU is defined as the roughly 93 million miles (148 million km) distance between the earth and sun. So how big is our betrayer god in these units?

1557.5 AU!!!!

Context for a number like that: the Kuiper Belt (the asteroid field past Neptune) ranges only from 35-55AU!! The oort cloud (the farthest reaches of our solar system) stretches from 2,000 AU- 100,000 AU from the sun.

SO!! If my math is correct (it's probably not, someone correct me) when the Great Ruiner punched Marquet, he was nearly as tall as the inner reaches oort cloud....

In conclusion: what the fuck Matthew Mercer.

[middlenamesage]

Would any fellow astro nerds out there be potentially interested in something that might look like an autobiographical memoir of parts of my life and thoughts… but that you’d have to understand astrology terms to fully get (insider status required😉)?

To give you a better idea of what this could look like, I’ll include screenshots at the end, of some excerpts from the many extensive posts I’ve recently put to my private Threads account with no followers, which I’ve been posting to every day since about the start of the New Year. It was totally unplanned for me that the Threads app would end up being basically just a private online diary for me. (also another place to help me not lose touch with what’s being talked about in society.) But I’m fond of a lot of the stuff I’ve been writing lately, and honestly it’s been easier to work with than a physical diary for me, even with the dumb character limits! (For that reason, I probably should have just opened a new Tumblr account for myself in the interest of being a place for some of my more unfiltered and personal writing- but maybe I can still do that!)

I love that the style of writing I am by far most drawn towards, autobiographical accounts and the exploring of my own philosophies, does tend to be well-received here. It makes sense this is the style I’ve always been most drawn to, as a very subjective and expressive Cancer🦀 5th house Mercury. But I also have Saturn and Neptune opposing my Mercury in the 11th house, and Chiron conjunct my Mercury, so trying to share this type of writing with the world has been honestly pretty alienating at times- like on most other apps I’ve ever had! I don’t really have the mind to be as interested in sharing more objective writings that relay my understanding of astrology through sharing knowledge about lists of planet placements or something like that. Although I appreciate all of you who do gravitate towards writing those kinds of things. But it’s through reflecting on and sharing about my personal experiences, and the experiences of those whose lives weave into mine, that I can share my knowledge about astrology, in a more atypical way… and also hopefully keep people entertained with interesting stories and thoughts!

There’s a lot of self processing that has taken place in my recent writings, and I think my progress could inspire others to get to reflecting in positive ways on their own lives and sense of self. My musing is done in ways that are often comedic, always vulnerable, and often trying to be grateful while still being honest with myself. It’s definitely adult-rated.

I still don’t really know yet where and how it’d be best for me to get my writings out there. but if Neptune is the connector of all, and for some reason the musings of my individual mind actually would be influential for even a very minute subset of the public, I trust them (idk, Neptune probably uses they/them pronouns🤷‍♀��) to sort it all out.

[dragynkeep]

Hi there, ironpines! (Love the name btw, I read a really good fic about ironwood being a father-figure to Oscar when RWBY and co. get to Atlas).

So this is probably going to be very long but I’ve really gotta vent about some stuff.

(Also, first ask. I honestly didn’t know how to do this for the longest time. Just got back into tumblr a bit ago).

1. I hate Jaune Arc (a lot of people do), but I want to know why. Do you think/believe he’s an author’s pet? Also, why the HELL did he kill Penny in the first place?!? Why not Winter, Nora, or Ruby? Why did he have to go to the island? Just- WHY?

2. In the first three volumes I really liked Team RWBY, but now….how did they get so skewed? What went wrong? How can Ruby be THAT arrogant that she point-blank says to Qrow: “we never needed an adult’s help.” Like- yes you did! If not for Qrow killing the Grimm in v4 they would have been continuously fighting Grimm. I’m the fight against Tyrian (one of my favorite characters and favorite fights) if not for Ruby getting in the way Qrow wouldn’t have been POISONED!

3. (This is the one I’m going to get cyber-ly killed for). (I also had just started RWBY when volume 5 was airing weekly.) The beginning of Volume 5, in my opinion was good. I liked the first five-six chapters, but when AU watched ‘Rest and Resolutions’ V5C7, I was so angry! Everything about the conversation between Ruby, Weiss, and Yang felt so out of character and out of place. It was so bad and the next episodes following that were not good either (only the raven v cinder fight was any good). The battle of Haven was a train wreck that I honestly have no idea how I even retained braincells after that. Like- why KEEP teasing Weiss v emerald if you aren’t going to do anything with it. Why tease Mercury v Yang if you’re not going to do anything new and interesting with the two (Mercury isn’t even a character anymore!)

4. I wish we got good rep. I really wish we didn’t get confirmation on LGBTQ+ characters from supplemental material (that’s not even canon). And I’ve gotta ask, why do you consider cannon? Cuz for me, the only things I consider actually CANNON to the storyline are the Red, White, Black, Yellow Trailers and the show itself (Grimm Eclipse just for the sake of more cool lore about Mountain Glenn and the fact of mutant Grimm). That’s it. I don’t consider the World of Remnants, manga (DC or otherwise, those were HORRIBLE!), anthologies, and the DISGUSTING novels.

(This is the last thing, I promise!)

5. I’m working on a quasi-rewrite RWBY fic and I didn’t know whether or not I should post the first chapter on my page or not. I just really don’t want the simps to come for my head (though it might happen anyway). But I’ve been writing this for about a year and a half now and I really want to post it but I’m so nervous about the reception and backlash. What do you think?

Thanks for answering me and indulging the fact that it’s okay to like something and still want it to be better (critics/the Rwde tag is my favorite because I can read opinions that I mused share but are too scared to put as a post).

Thanks, we picked Ironpines because we loved Ironwood and Oscar, and then our friends, being the good friends they are, immediately told us it was the ship name for them so now we can't have anything nice.

1) First off, yes, we absolutely think Jaune is an author's pet. We don't really go for self-insert anymore since everyone in RWBY was a self-insert, Monty clearly based them off his friends. But now, Jaune is absolutely an author's pet and has been since the start of the show.

Just look at Volume 1. Jaune literally had more of a storyline than Yang, one of the girls in the title. He then went on to have a dumb love triangle in V2, only to resolve it with Neptune without any input from Weiss, because why not, and then V3 was Jaune finally taking more of a step back for Pyrrha, who was long over due some character.

Until V4 where, rather than everyone mourning Pyrrha, we focused on Jaune mourning her instead. Nevermind that Pyrrha was Ren and Nora's teammate too, probably their only family since they're orphans, or how Ruby literally watched Pyrrha die in front of her. Nope, gotta focus on Jaune. Add that it stretches into V5 also, adding another storyline about his Semblance while Ren, Nora, and Ruby have to stand in the background and wait their turn, while Weiss literally loses all her braincells so she's injured for Jaune's development, how the confrontation with Cinder doesn't go to Ruby, the main protagonist, but Jaune.

Then we get that stupid statue scene in V6 that took over Oscar finally getting some development of his own. It's not even the whole team, because it's only Jaune that gets to meet the lady who totally isn't Pyrrha's mother, it's Jaune that gets the big teary moment, and how Ren and Nora have to stop and comfort Jaune because of course they have to.

I was glad that Jaune finally took a backseat in V7. I actually started to like him again, because he wasn't sucking screentime away from those who need it. But then V8 happened and now I want him dead.

I've said it countless times before so I don't wanna repeat myself, but Jaune is one of the last people that should've killed Penny. He shouldn't have killed her, he shouldn't have had the big tearful scene because another redhead died, he shouldn't have fallen into the void to join Team RWBY, but he did. Now there's no doubt in my mind that Jaune is a fucking author's pet, because the writers won't let him go into the background where he belongs.

2) There's not much to say about Team RWBY. They just suck now.

3) After watching V8, V5 is no longer my least favourite volume. That's how bad it was.

4) Yeah, RWBY's rep is absolute trash and it's because they keep putting it in supplemental material, and also because they look at the LGBT and only see L. The only MLM we have is Scarlet, and he's a catty fae gay stereotype that is so unlikeable and voiced by a creep. Nevermind the whole Fairgame queerbait controversy because this company can't stop themselves for five minutes.

5) I always say that, when you post work on the internet, whether its art of writing, you have to understand that you will get criticism back. It'll suck, especially when you've put so much time and effort into something, but that's the risk you have to take as a content creator.

The good thing is that AO3 has features that let you manage what you see properly. If people just want to hate without giving proper criticism, you can always remove it and ignore it, but I personally believe that people aren't entitled to criticism when it's only said nicely. Sometimes, people will get annoyed and say it in a meaner way, but that doesn't make the criticism any less valid.

Either way, decide based on how you think you'll react to it. If you don't want the stress of criticism, be careful, but if you think you can handle it? Then go for it, the world's your oyster.

[littledewdrops2]

Lilith musings

Trigger warning for trauma themes ---------

I have a lot of feminist/activist friends and family and a common theme that I have seen, is lilith in or in aspect to, angular houses. 

Lilith in 4th has been expressed (from my experiences) a lot more as deep, deep pain (where you wouldn’t even know they’ve been through such terrible stuff but they hold a power inside that is undeniable), but also makes the native majorly empathetic and protective over little girls. If you go to lilith in the 4th and tell them about your experiences with injustice in your home life, they will set ish aflame for you. They will rage out for you, they will encourage your growth and remind you of your inherent worth as a woman. I think because lilith is so strong and powerful, at times maybe lilith in 4th can’t quite understand when you need a bit more time to work through your wounds, because they trailblazed right past their childhood pain. Very much the mentality “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.

Lilith in 1st, now I know two people close to me with this placement and a few more, me included with aspects to the ASC. I would 100% check out where your chart ruler is and the aspects to it in this case. 

One of these people has their chart ruler in the 8th, lilith conjunction to neptune and a square to mc. The other has chart ruler in 12th, lilith conjunction mercury, square chiron. 

I have lilith in my 10th, uranus rules my MC and is placed in 8th, lilith squares my ac. 

All of these examples are from natal charts of people that have suffered csa and abuse as adults as well. I think there’s a lot to be said about the rulers of these houses and where they are in our charts, 4th/8th/12th are all very very hidden. In all of these cases too, the abuse was unknown initially. I think lilith has been twofold, one caused us pain from feeling misunderstood and viewed in a way that is different than we view ourselves and two made us extremely strong women and very protective. A woman with a prominent lilith will say what is on her mind, period. Aspects to lilith that cause tension make it not received very well but in my experience the lilith woman....just doesn’t care at all. HAHA. The kind of women that is constantly and unapologetically herself. 

My honey has lilith in 10th, and he’s a feminist as well and he deeply cares about respecting women, he gets infuriated seeing men treat women badly and he’s a huge protector too. 

Lilith in 2nd and 8th, in a man’s chart, I’m just saying you always want to be intimate with strong af women but you might be intimidated by them on the sly. Lololol.

[astrolocherry]

Birthday Moon-Neptune aspects - Trying to Run Away from home with a Mermaids Tail 

Moon conjunct Neptune, Moon sextile Neptune, Moon square Neptune, Moon trine Neptune, Moon opposite Neptune 

There is a transition space between the security of binding in the mother’s consciousness and independent functioning that the child uses fantasy, imagination, and creative play with the archetypal realm as a function to ease the psychic discomfort of detachment. This is the place that people with Moon-Neptune aspects remain part of until the end of life. Though she grows out of being immersed and into carrying it with her everywhere she goes. It’s a treasure box that opens to reveal the heavenly muses, colour palettes and symbols, cinematic visions, and unwritten symphonies. And she may have had access to this early in life, it’s possible that adults recognised her art, writing, or creative gift as a special talent. Though these paintbrushes are dipped in emotion and the ink is already tear soaked, much of this inspiration is a product of deep sensitivity. Other people’s feelings are contagious, and once she is taken by the lunar tides of her own emotion, she is swept into the wide open Neptune ocean and soaked by the tears of humanity. It means that finding this treasure box can be agonising and harrowing, and she is forced under the water to feel and sense every drop. And it’s all so it means something. The recovery is in the artistry, the elevating highs of inspiration pouring out like a cotton candy moon of creative activity. These creative trance-like states can be like embracing the whole universe, a collaboration with angels that replenishes the whole spirit. She finds therapy the creative process, and she heals her audience, onlooker, reader, or listener. She returns them to that blissful transition state where she spends much of her time, the one they vaguely know but cannot remember. 

Even the individuals with Moon-Neptune aspects that do not exhibit these artistic qualities still have a way of healing and redeeming by transporting others to that twilight zone. There is a rich imagination and fantasy life that weaves so intricately into reality that she doesn’t have to try or believe it into existence. It seems to illuminate her natural expression, interactive style, and storytelling beneath an enchanted spotlight. One that makes you wonder if such fantastical things could ever be possible, and maybe believe it for long enough to make it true. 

Cherry art: Strange Moon - by Nico Niemi from ACEO

[sinfully-divine]

@sinsofchaos ( X <- Continued from here! )

"Oh, Iffy."

Adult Neptune began to approach her in a teasing manner.

"Why not have a feel of my body for yourself? A picture may last a long time but personal touch lasts forever~"

[divinityunleashed]

"Oof-- this big guy's gon' be a big one. But a big bun means a big bun for huggin'!"

And Hanaka wasn't just holding the long eared animal like holding a baby, or a little kitten-- no... This bunny was big...

"Take good care of this big hearted fella. She's gonna a lotta love and care from someone with a big heart as you~" Wait how heavy is this bunny if a stronk girl is having issues lifting it.

From Hanaka to big Nep

"BUNNY!!!"

[commander-coppercogg]

Neptune for any of your kiddos you'd like to talk about :)

(@uselessidiotsquad)

I'm gonna answer this one for Bertie cause Syrryl already had a turn with one of these asks:

𝟎𝟗.   𝐍𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐄   !

( 𝗌𝗒𝗆𝖻𝗈𝗅𝗂𝗓𝖾𝗌   : dreams,   intuition,   mysticism,   imagination,   delusions. )

what   are   your   muses   goals   ?   what’s   their   dreams   ?   are   they   intuitive   ?   do   they   believe   in   spirituality   and   acknowledge   that   in   every   day   life   ?   where   in   life   are   they   most   creative   ?   or   are   they   perhaps,   like   the   planet   saturn,   bound   to   reality   and   don’t   believe   or   acknowledge   such   things   ?   those   ruled   by   neptune   tend   to   run   away   with   their   goals   and   ideas   and   often   enough   run   too   fast   that   they   trip,   so   failure   is   familar   to   those   who   are   ruled   by   neptune.   does   your   muse   get   too   caught   up   in   unrealisitc   ideas   ?   if   so,   how   do   they   handle   the   disappointment   ?   those   ruled   by   neptune   are   also   full   of   child-like   innocence,   which   can   make   them   come   off   as   naive.   does   your   muse   care   what   others   think   of   them   ?

Bertie's main goal currently is to not fail. He's the Commander, he can't fail. He's come way too far, lost way too many people to fall short now. Every victory he's had has felt like it was by the skin of his teeth and he's very concerned about what's going to happen next.

Bertie's dream mainly centers around the people he sees as his family: Dragon's Watch. As much as he hates the ongoing world crises that they have to keep solving, he also understand that he wouldn't have the family he does otherwise. He dreams of lower stakes, easier missions, the whole world not hanging in the balance and on his family's shoulders. He doesn't dream of peace. He doesn't know what he'd do with himself if there were peace.

He's not especially intuitive. There's some things that just makes sense to Bertie: golemancy, his hammer, Syrryl (most of the time). And there are things that he just never gets the hang of: magic, politics and Syrryl (some of the time). It kind of depends. Inside his wheelhouse, Bertie is very intuitive. Outside his area of expertise, he's very much not.

Bertie is not a spiritual person. He's a student of the Dynamics College school of thought. He believes in things he can feel and touch and hit with his hammer. He understands the concept of the Eternal Alchemy spirituality, which he visualizes as the different interlocking parts of a golem, it's just not something he thinks about or really practices.

Bertie is most creative in life with his inventing. He's constantly making adjustments and upgrades to his prosthetic, tiny things that no one but an expert would recognize but it's resulted in one of the most advance prosthetics in Tyria.

Bertie is pretty down to earth. Sometimes though, especially when under a lot of pressure, his mind will run wild with all of the crazy, desperate, unrealistic plans that he'll desperately hope will keep everyone alive and safe. But as he is a good Commander, Bertie can recognize that those ideas aren't any help and will dismiss them. He doesn't feel disappointed about this because he never really saw the plans as a possibility anyway.

Bertie absolutely can come off as naive, especially when it comes to human politics. To some degree, it irks him. He is an intelligent adult and would like to be spoken to as such thank you very much. But another part of him, probably the one that has picked up on a bit of Syrryl's Order of Whispers tactics, knows that being underestimated can be used to his advantage. And to that point, Bertie doesn't really care what people think of him. He's a trans, gay, autistic, disabled man. Even in the world of Tyria, with much less prejudice than Earth, that fact alone will make some people dismiss and think less of Bertie. And in return, Bertie doesn't think about them at all. He's got better things to do with his time.

[whenerosmetpsyche]

The House of the Other

The 7th House is our doorway into others and ourselves. When someone embodies the archetype of our 7th house planets and signs, we react ”[l]ike an epiphany, when the outer image reflects the inner situation, a sudden recognition of something occurs. The divine in us stirs” (Brian Clark, From the Moment We Met: The Astrology of Adult Relationships). In considering all of the questions about the 7th house I receive, it occurred to me that these are really relationship questions. The 7th through 12th houses represent our relationship to the outer world, while the 1st through 6th represent our relationship with ourselves.

The Sun If you were born with your sun in the 7th house, you were born near sunset. Metaphorically, you were hiding away your light to make way for the stars to come out and shine. This analogy is apt in your life -- do not let your partners steal your light; rather, find a way to equally support one another. Watching your partner get all of the light can result in resentment and envy counter-acted by self-absorption and narcissism. These issues are often representative of unresolved father issues and elicit feelings of being unacknowledged or unseen growing up. Seek balance between giving and taking.

The Moon Here, the symbol of caring and empathy for others was setting as you were born and so you often feel the need to hide your own needs and feelings. Themes of dependency and enmeshment often enter into your relationship and while you are looking for interdependence, you often rely on partners to express what you cannot. A moon in the 7th house is often unconsciously looking to recreate situations that mimic the mother figure and reflect conditions from early in life. You may find yourself in relationships where you are too dependent on the other, or the sole emotional provider, and react by manipulating situations to gain what you need. This is a sign that you need to learn to nurture and provide for your own needs before you are able to enter into a truly interdependent relationship.

Mercury In the 7th house, Mercury attracts bright, verbal people who always seem to speak with more eloquence and wit. Your attraction to these kind of people will quickly wane if Mercury isn’t shared, and one partner is always doing all of the communicating. Mercury in the 7th house can represent issues with siblings that are unconsciously recreated in adult relationships. You may find yourself in a relationship with someone just like your sibling. In that recreation, you are working through early themes of feeling unheard or underestimated. Look for a relationship where a true “meeting of the minds” occurs, and you both feel equally heard and valued.

Venus Exalted in the 7th house, relationships come naturally to you. Venus is projected onto the partner, and your partner and friends relish being in the warmth of your harmony and companionship, and eagerly reflect it back to you. Beware that when your love wanes, theirs doesn’t as well -- a sign that your feelings of affection aren’t truly shared. There can also be a tendency to reject anything less than beautiful and refined with this placement -- an indicator of an inability to accept those qualities in oneself. Early issues with close friends and partners where love was one-sided are indicated with this placement. A relationship of equal love and compromise is needed.

Mars Competitive Mars is a bit awkward in the house of coming together. Mars here can attract volatile partners and the anger of others seemingly out of nowhere. Your reactions to anger are likely unhealthy with this placement, and could manifest by projecting power onto the other person, resulting in feeling helpless. Or by becoming overly competitive, seeking to be first and the best at everything. Or Mars in the 7th can result in a quick retreat, preferring to avoid confrontation altogether. In all of these cases, true intimacy is impossible. Isolated, you are unable to see your own role in your partner’s anger, and you ignore your personal desire and determination. Mars in the 7th is often indicative of unresolved issues with male rivals who left you feeling powerless early in life and now you find yourself recreating these patterns through your relationships. You will know your relationship is healthy when you are able to express your desires to your partner and are able to compete alongside and against one another in a spirit of fun and comradery rather than inappropriate rivalry. 

Jupiter Jupiter in the 7th relates to others through ethics, philosophy, and spirituality. If your own wisdom has yet to be explored, you may be drawn to self-proclaimed experts who seemingly have all the answers. Gurus, leaders, and teachers of all sorts enter into your life and leave just as quickly. Jupiter in the 7th house is often representative of an early experience navigating unfamiliar territory alone early in life. This scenario is played out in your relationships where you find yourself attracted to those who represent the unfamiliar -- either through culture or social status. Rather than bring your own wisdom and experience to the relationship, your instinct may be to take on the philosophy, wisdom, and world of your partner rather than seeking out your own. However, as you grow into your own worldliness, you become conscious of your inner guru, and find that relationships that allow you to together grow and explore shared meaning work for you.  The right relationship will feel expansive and adventurous rather than confining and limiting. You feel able to live your truth. 

Saturn Security is sought in your relationships, and you may attract partners that are cold, controlling, and authoritative. A feeling of never being good enough emerges when you are trying to live up to standards other than your own. When you feel constricted in relationship, you may respond by controlling the other person when really you should first seek out a more authoritative position in the world for yourself. Saturn in the 7th struggles with equality. You may feel silenced and dominated by a partner who represents the older and wiser aspects of your soul. Early experiences of criticism may prevent you from entering relationships or you may find yourself easily giving over your authority in exchange for security or status. Once you feel you have control over your position in the world you will be able to enter into the stable and trusting partnership you seek.

Uranus Relationships are unusual and unpredictable with Uranus in the 7th house. Unexpected meetings are commonplace and are external representations of your desire to live unconventionally. Your unconscious will to be unique and original may be rejected in yourself and projected onto the extraordinary and unorthodox people in your life. Not until you address your restless need for adventure will you be ready to take on any kind of commitment. Your need for space is exemplified by Uranus in the 7th, and you often find partners who are more than accommodating and leave you unfulfilled. If they do show up, you find yourself repeating a cycle of engaging and disengaging and then fleeing when you achieve the closeness you desire. Early themes of abandonment emerge in your relationships as you learn how to be authentic, yet separate in intimacy with another. Commitment only comes when you find a relationship that allows for unorthodoxy, individuality, and authenticity. 

Neptune With Neptune in the 7th, you may seek the otherworldly and elusive, projecting your innate desire for sensuality, mysticism, and creativity onto your partner. You may also be drawn to themes of rescuing or being rescued, and tend to live out these story lines only in your head. In projecting these mystic qualities onto others, you lose contact with your own spirituality. Neptune loses its identity in rescue/martyr situations and you may find yourself again and again trying to save someone who cannot be saved. Early rescue themes from childhood may emerge as you project fantasy and mythology onto impossible relationship situations. Self-acceptance and examination are needed to address psychological blocks that prevent you from engaging in your inner world. It is only when you are able to draw upon your inner muse and source of spirituality, rather than looking for it in others, that you can enter into the kind of loving and giving relationships you are pining for. 

Pluto Your attraction to mystery and intrigue reflects the unexpressed depths of your own emotional states. You may be drawn to intense souls who draw out your deeper, more passionate sides. However, it is in this exchange that you may feel controlled and captivated -- a clear indication that you are giving your power away to a relationship that is unable to be equal or truly intimate. With Pluto in the 7th, you are learning to surface darker and repressed feelings while sharing in representations of power like money and sex. Partnerships elicit dark and uncontrollable feelings in both you and your partner. Undoubtedly themes of betrayal will unleash dark feelings in yourself which you may attempt to ignore and bury. Such inclinations will only result in obsessive and controlling behavior by either you or your partner. Rather than ignore these feelings, Pluto in the 7th house is asking you to risk vulnerability and divulge your deepest feelings to your partner. Only then can you achieve the truly intimate and emotionally deep partnership you desire. 

Planetary energies in the 7th are more powerful than the signs they rule, but still apply. The houses where planetary rulers reside also influence the 7th house to some extent. 

[caeloservare]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:   stolen from @courtclover tagging:    it’s fun, long but fun

Of course I used italics where it’s sorta kinda :D

MY MUSE IS:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent ((basic writing happens before the vol7 finale)) / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK

ARE THEY UNDERRATED?  YES / NO / IDK

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY?   YES / NO / UNSURE

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER?   YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG /

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD?   YES / NO

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION?   GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON? I like canon and I like sticking to it, but hey, we’re fandom, we’re here for fun and straying from canon like we please.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. James is hot af just for starters :D  I very much enjoy his golden heart, which he gives away much too much, up until he snaps and becomes what he’s always accused of - heartless, cold and logical. Whole world is obviously too much for one man to carry, he so desparately tries regardless, that to some extent he succeeds! Admirable how he walks over his own reputation, needs, fears and desires to save other people, who happen to be actively hating on him, but he does so anyway. He’s a man who isn’t afraid to personally intervene when needed, fighting grimms barehanded included. He has a tendency to self-sacrifice for the cause, but he’s also patient, caring and incredibly strong both on body and mind. James is the one to listen and come up with solutions, if anyone decides to trust him with something. I don’t see those as a downsides writing-wise, so: he does have flaws. He’s selfish in his selflessness, too ambitious and often too direct in his approaches. James is both simple and complicated person. He’s horribly stubborn and does his best to keep personal life fairly separated from work. In relationship, would give you everything, but he’s also married to his duties and so, saving the world will almost always come first. His moral code does get in the way often, same as his sense of good manners and strong opinions. He is stiff, but getting on his soft and bit dumb, himbo side is even more worth it then, right? >:3

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). His morals are too strict and he does have stick in the butt. His charm and natural charisma has limits. He makes very tough and questionable choices to the point, I believe, the only thing saving him from being straight out hated and even hunted down by fandom is that he’s madly handsome. And maybe that his motives are still somewhat reasonable, logical even. James believes that he’s right a bit too much (but on his behalf - he’s proven right quite a lot). Also as much as I really enjoy Remnant military and cop role, I hate and despise comparision to United States and cops there. Please no. I’ll never accept that it was supposed to be allusion, no. Atlas =/= USA. Can’t change my mind.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE? Qrow and James are my very favs of the series from adulter characters. (First was Jaune, then Sun and Neptune <3 my dumb babies. But somehow writing older muses feels better for me, idk why) I really like broken heroes and somehow interacting with Qrows is more fun for me currently, than trying to write him.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING? Fun I have writing with you people! Just look at frustrated James among whole flock of mischievious birbs and others <3

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE?   YES / NO :’))) ((confidence? like that thing you throw into a soup for taste?)) ((have you seen what I’ve done to this epicly badass man with my dumb ideas?)) / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO?

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS?   YES / NO / Not yet

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES?   YES / NO / Not yet

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY?   YES / NO

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES / NO / SORT OF?

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING?   YES / NO / A ((very very)) LITTLE BIT

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON?   YES / NO / SORTA

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?  As long as it’s polite criticism from a friend, not hate or getting frustration out on me. 

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER? YES! Yes, please!

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  Depends who it is. I’d like to hear from friends their views - that’s useful, fun and can help with developing even more interesting ones. But never ever force it on me, nor come at me if we’re not writing or talking. That’s just rude and unfollow button is right there.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?  They have right to and they can leave for our mutual comfort. It’s just a hobby, it’s not real. I’m not here to fight about how I see the character nor how they see the character.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT? Shucks, they’re missing out, but that’s their choice.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS? POLITELY and with understanding that I do not speak English nearly as fluently as I wish I could. Polish grammar just randomly mixes in and I can not notice until a day later or so. I mistake words and meanings. I’d like to improve, but I’m trying really hard to get words and phrases right, so just please keep that in mind. At least I grew confidence to ask about things I don’t get more often.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN? I think yes. I’m as chill as I can, shy to new people, but trying, and always choosing kindness over my pride. I’d rather ask further like an idiot what you mean, than let my assumptions start a fight. But I do have my limits. Firm limits of a hothead who won’t have anyone being an asshole to anyone.

[yespoetry]

A Selection of Sergei Yesenin Poems Translated by Anton Yakovlev

Translator’s Note: This selection contains a range of poems spanning his full literary career, from 1910 when he was 15 years old, to the last year of his life (1925).

As you will see, many of the poems are untitled, not unusually for Russian poems, and marked with standard three asterisks (and identified by first line in tables of contents, conversation or scholarship). I've included the years of composition under each poem since that might help add some historic context (which of course includes World War I and the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917).

* * *

 High water has licked

The silt with smoke.

The moon has dropped

Its yellow reins.

 Paddling a punt,

I bump into banks.

Red haystacks by the fence rails

Look like churches.

 With mournful cawing

In the silence of marshes

The black grouse

Is calling for vespers.

 In blue gloom the grove

Shrouds the destitution…

Secretly I will pray

For your future.

 <1910>

* * *

 Is it my fault that I’m a poet

Of heavy suffering and bitter fate?

After all, it wasn’t my choice—

It’s just the way I came into the world.

 Is it my fault that I don’t cherish life,

That I love and simultaneously hate everyone,

And know things about myself I don’t yet see—

That is my gift from the muse.

 I know there is no happiness in life,

Life is lunacy, the dream of a sick soul,

And I know my gloomy tunes bore everyone,

But it’s not my fault—that’s the kind of poet I am.

 <1911—1912>

  The Birch

 The white birch

Under my window

Wrapped herself in snow

As though in silver.

 Like snow borders

On fluffy branches,

White fringes of tassels

H    ave blossomed.

 And the birch stands

In listless silence,

And the snowflakes burn

In the golden fire.

 And the dawn, lazily

Walking around,

Sprinkles t   he branches

With new silver.

 <1913>

* * *

 Out came the Lord to test humanity’s love,

Walked out into a field in the guise of a beggar.

An old man sitting on a stump in an oak grove

Was chewing a dry crumpet with his toothless mouth.

 The old man saw the beggar walking

Down the path with an iron cane

And thought, “What a poor, sick fellow—

I bet it’s hunger that’s making him teeter.”

 The Lord walked up to him, hiding his sorrow and pain,

Thinking he couldn’t awaken anyone’s heart...

And the old man extended his hand,

“Here, chew on this... you’ll feel a little stronger.”

 <1914>

* * *

 In the land of yellow nettle

And dried-out wattle

Village huts, like orphans,

Cling to willows.

 In the fields, behind the ravine’s blue thicket,

Among green lakes,

The sand road stretches up to

The Siberian Mountains.

 Lost somewhere in Mordva and Chuda,

Russia knows no fear,

And the people, the people in shackles

Walk down that road.

 All of them are murderers or thieves,

As ordained by fate.

I’ve fallen in love with their sad eyes

And their hollow cheeks.

 There is so much evil and joy in killers.

Their hearts are simple.

But their blue mouths grin

On their blackened faces.

 In secret, I cherish one dream:

That I’m pure of heart.

But I too will knife someone to death

One whistling autumn.

 And on a windy route,

Perhaps on this very same sand,

They will lead me, rope on my neck,

To fall in love with anguish.

 And when I smile, in passing,

Stretching my chest,

The bad weather will lick the road of my life

With its tongue.

 <1915>

* * *

 I’m tired of living in my native land,

Yearning for the vast fields of buckwheat.

I’ll leave my shack

To be a vagrant and a thief.

 I’ll walk the white curls of the day

To look for some wretched lodging.

And, seeing me, my best friend

Will sharpen his boot knife.

 The yellow road is entwined

With the spring and the meadow sun,

And the one whose name I cherish

Will chase me from her threshold.

 Again I will come back to the house of my birth,

Console myself with someone else’s joy,

And, some green evening, hang myself

On my sleeve under the window.

 The grizzled willows by the wicker fence

Will drop their heads a bit more tenderly.

They will bury me, unwashed,

To the sound of barking dogs.

 And the moon will swim on and on,

Dropping its oars into lakes...

And Russia will go on living,

Dancing and weeping by the fence.

 <1916>

* * *

 Swimming in the blue dust,

The moon butts a cloud with its horn.

This night, no one will guess

Why the herons screamed.

This night, she ran through the reeds

To the green backwater.

Her white hand swept her tousled hair

Over her tunic.

She ran up, glanced at the quick spring

And sat down on the stump in pain.

In her eyes, the daisies wilted

The way a swamp light goes out.

At dawn, through the spiraling fog,

She swam away and vanished in the distance...

And the moon, swimming in the blue dust,

Nodded to her from behind the hill.

 <1916> * * *

 Your pensive sigh is calling me

To warm light, to my native threshold

 Where grandmother and grandfather sit on the porch

Awaiting their spirited sunflower-aged grandson.

 Their grandson is slim and white as a birch,

With honey hair and velvet hands.

 Except, o my friend, I see from his blue eyes—

They’re only dreaming of his worldly life.

 The bright Virgin in the icon corner

Beams joy into their darkness.

 With a quiet smile on her thin lips

She holds their grandson in her arms.

 <1917> * * *

 Here it is, silly happiness

With white windows that look into the garden.

The sunset quietly swims

In the pond like a red swan.

 Hello, golden quiet

With your shadow of a birch in the water.

A flock of crows on the roof

Holds vespers for a star.

  Somewhere past the garden, timidly,

Out where the guelder-rose blooms,

A tender girl in white

Sings a tender song.

 In a bluish fog, the night cool

Sweeps from the field.

Silly, sweet happiness.

Fresh blush of cheeks.

 <1918>

* * *

 Country, o my country!

Autumnal rainy tin.

The shivering streetlight reflects

Its lipless head in a black puddle.

 No, it’s best not to look,

Or else I’ll see something worse.

I’ll just keep squinting my eyes

At all this rusted haze.

 It’s warmer this way and less painful.

Look: between the skeletons of houses

A bell tower, like a miller, carries

The copper bagfuls of bells.

 If you’re hungry, you will be nourished.

If you’re miserable, you’ll find joy.

Just don’t look at me too openly,

My unknown earthly brother.

 As I thought, so I did. But alas!

It’s the same every time!

Looks like my body is too used to

Feeling this shivering cold.

 Well, so what! There are many others,

I’m not the only one alive in the world!

As for the street light, one moment it blinks,

The next moment it laughs with its lipless head.

 Only my heart, under shabby clothes,

Whispers to me, who has visited solid ground:

“My friend, my friend, the eyes that have seen

Can only be shut by death.”

 <1921>

* * *

 Don’t torment me with your icy demeanor

And don’t ask me how old I am.

I’ve got a severe falling sickness;

My soul is a yellow skeleton.

 There was a time when, hailing from outskirts,

In a smoke of my boyish dreams,

I imagined riches and fame,

And being loved by all.

 Yes! I’m rich, I’m rich beyond words.

I had a top hat; now I don’t.

All I’ve got left is one shirtfront

And a worn-out pair of fashionable shoes.

 And my fame is no worse:

From Moscow to Paris

My name inspires horror

Like a loud swearword painted on a fence.

 As to love—isn’t it funny?

You kiss me, but lips feel like tin.

I know, my feeling is overripe

And yours won’t be able to bloom.

 Oh well, I’m too young to brood,

And if I’m sad—what of it?

Fresh grass that covers the hills

Rustles with more gold than your braids.

 I’d love to go back to that place

Where, listening to rustling golden grass,

I could sink forever into oblivion

In the smoke of my boyish dreams.

 But this time I’d dream of something new,

Something earth or grass can’t understand,

Something no heart can express in words

And no human being could name.

 <1923>

 * * *

 A blue May. An eventide warmth.

The ring at the gate makes no sound.

Sticky smell wafts from the sagebrush.

The cherry tree sleeps in a white gown.

 Through the wooden wings of the window,

The whimsical moon is weaving

The lace patterns of the fine curtains

And the window frames onto the floor.

 Our living room might be small,

But it’s clean. I’m here at my leisure...

This night I’m enjoying my life

Like a pleasant thought of a friend.

 The garden blazes like a frothy fire,

And the moon, straining all its powers,

Would like everyone to tremble

From the piercing word “darling.”

 In this blossoming, in this smoothness,

Hearing the merry harmonica of May,

I’m the only one who wishes for nothing,

Who accepts everything as is.

 I accept it—come and appear,

Everything that brings pain and relief...

Peace be with you, life that has rumbled by.

Peace be with you, light-blue chill.

 <1925>

Born in Moscow, Russia, Anton Yakovlev studied filmmaking and poetry at Harvard University. He is the author of poetry chapbooks The Ghost of Grant Wood (Finishing Line Press, 2015) and Neptune Court (The Operating System, 2015). His poems have appeared in The New Yorker, The Hopkins Review, Prelude, Measure, The Best of The Raintown Review, The Stockholm Review of Literature, and elsewhere. His book of translations of poetry by Sergei Esenin is forthcoming from Sensitive Skin Books in 2017. He has also directed several short films.

One of the most important Russian poets of all time, Sergei Yesenin (1895-1925) was a founding member of the short-lived but influential Imaginist movement, which stood in contrast to Futurism and was related to Imagism in English. Originally from the village of Konstantinovo, Ryazan Province, Yesenin spent most of his adult life in Petrograd (later Leningrad, now St. Petersburg), but most of his poetry continued to focus on nature and traditional rural life. In 1922 he married the American dancer Isadora Duncan, but their marriage was short-lived. Though he initially supported the Bolshevik regime, the poet became disenchanted with it, recognizing the encroaching and destructive effects of Soviet industrialization on the peasant population. According to the official account, on the night of December 27, 1925, he hanged himself after writing his final poem in his own blood, though many experts, relatives, and friends of the poet have disputed the official narrative.

[awashsquid]

Part 2 of @sittingoverheredreaming‘s commission!  A group post can be found here.  This entry is a little under 2400 words.  Like it?  Feed your local Squid with a like, comment, or reblog!  Want to commission me yourself?  Check out the info right here.  

The next few days saw Michiru’s consciousness drift like a tide ebbing and flowing onto the sand: one moment she would be alert enough to answer questions from the doctors, but the next, the combination of pain and medication would have her out at sea once again, able only to close her eyes and let the waves roll over her as she drifted into a deep sleep.  The sole reason she kept track of the time at all could be attributed to the whiteboard across from her bed, its text shifting to mark the present day of the week, the sole source of change in the otherwise identical hospital room that marked her present confine.

But as the shore never leaves its post, waiting only for the sea to kiss and swallow it down once more, Haruka never left her side.  Each time that Michiru awoke she would scan the room to ensure that her anchor was there, and each time she was rewarded with the warm, gentle smile of her lover.  “I’m not leaving,” Haruka would say often, and with the knowledge that she would not be left alone, Michiru allowed herself to succumb to the rest that her injured body desperately craved.

Michiru awoke once more, the world coming into a slightly sharper focus than it had for the past few days, and she blinked away the vestiges of sleep with a newfound energy.  The whiteboard indicated that she had not been awake since yesterday.  But her attention on this detail was quickly interrupted by the feeling of another hand on top of her own, and she followed the appendage to a teenage girl sitting silently at her bedside, gazing at her expectantly.

“Good, you’re awake,” said Hotaru, but there was no smile on her face nor in her tone to match the pleasantry of her words.  She took her hand away and Michiru immediately felt some of the fuzziness return to her brain, the black halo of hair curtaining her visitor’s face blurring out around the edges.  Hotaru frowned and resumed holding Michiru’s hand, and again the focus returned with a sharp, piercing clarity, so sudden that Michiru winced against the sensation.

Violet eyes glanced to the IV bag at the bedside, and Hotaru shook her head.  “Damn, they’ve really got you drugged, haven’t they?”  She looked down at their hands resting together on the bed, seemingly musing on if it was better to keep the healing connection or to break it once more.

“Don’t -” Michiru’s voice was harsh and discordant, a violin badly out of tune from disuse, and she tried to clear her throat before continuing.  “Don’t just yet.”  She glanced to their hands.  “I - it is so difficult to think at the moment.  If you would - please.”  It was the least elegant and most desperate Hotaru had ever heard the woman, and she frowned lightly, but nodded her assent and did not remove her hand.

It was the most contact they had shared in a year, since Hotaru had adolesced so rapidly and discovered that she had been spirited away from her earthly family - her father - so that she could be trained as a Senshi.  Another life path chosen for her by adults who thought they knew better how to use her powers than she did, another betrayal, she had seethed and screamed.  When the three women who had bonded over her care tried to explain that Dr. Tomoe had been deemed unfit to hold custody of her, that he would not have been able to cope with her rapid aging even if he had been granted his daughter back, Hotaru had tempered slightly, but the cold fire behind her eyes hadn’t entirely vanished.  Since, she had lived with them, but at a distance - no more trips with Haruka-Papa to the racetrack; no visits to the aquarium with Michiru-Mama; no stops at the ice cream shop with Setsuna-Mama.  Those activities, along with the parental titles she had affectionately given each of her caretakers, had ceased immediately.  Now it was as though they lived with a virtual stranger who only descended from her room long enough to eat before reentering the solitude of her choosing.

That Hotaru had come at all was surprising to Michiru given the totality with which she had claimed to hate her ersatz guardians, but Hotaru was too like Michiru herself for the visit to have been totally out of concern for her well-being.  And if she was using her healing abilities to lessen Michiru’s discomfort, it certainly wasn’t out of kindness or love, Michiru thought, such clarity afforded to her by the young girl’s abilities filtering out the haze of pain and medication that clouded her mind, muddying the once-clear waters.

Michiru spoke again, each word an effort through her aching throat.  “Thank you.  How - long -” and before she could finish the question she coughed deeply, the force of it rattling down to her lungs and sending a stab of pain through her ribs.  Heat flared to her cheeks at the weakness, but Hotaru did not seem fazed, did not look away as she struggled to catch her breath again.

“You’ve been in the hospital for ten days now,” she answered, able to assess what the question would have become.  “Do you remember talking to Rei and Minako?”  Michiru thought for a moment before giving a weak nod, not yet ready to test her voice again.  “Good.  Do you remember anything else from the battle that you didn’t tell them?”  A pause to assess, and then a head shake - no.

“Great,” Hotaru muttered sarcastically.  When Michiru’s eyebrows formed a questioning arch, she elaborated.  “It seems I’m going to be the one that has to fill you in.  Which is why this -” she jerked her head towards their hands “- is necessary.  You need to be able to think, and hopefully to answer a few questions for me.  For us - well, those of us that are left, anyway,” she finished with a grimace.

Michiru’s eyes widened.  She remembered Minako saying they had lost, but in her state she had not been able to take care enough to ask what exactly that meant, especially given that at least four of the Senshi had lived, had been in her hospital room at one point or another.  Five, she corrected, looking at Haruka’s jacket strewn on the little couch in the corner, assuming she had stepped out for a moment for one reason or another.  But just seeing that piece of fabric relaxed tension she had not recognized existed in her shoulders, and she focused back on Hotaru, taking a deep breath in before choking out her next words.  “What happened?”

“You did,” Hotaru answered plainly, a slight venom in the words.  “You remember lunging to protect Uranus, right?”  She didn’t wait for confirmation.  “Well, as annoying as she can be, there is a reason Minako always harps about formation, and you left your section completely unprotected.  Vulnerable.  And they took advantage of that.

“You and Uranus were out, and they swarmed past you two and got to Tuxedo Kamen, Sailor Mars, and Sailor Venus in the center.  It was too much - too many.  Jupiter and Mercury broke rank to rush in and try to compensate, but they got overwhelmed from every side.  They didn’t last long - Mercury just couldn’t keep up, and Jupiter supernova-ed herself into a coma to take out a chunk of them, but even that wasn’t enough, not really.”  She didn’t pause before continuing, her tone flat and clipped as she summarized.

“Sets- Pluto - panicked, I think, and she tried to get Sailor Moon to retreat, said she would summon a Door as an escape, but of course Moon wouldn’t do that, and while they were still arguing Pluto was-”  Hotaru’s eyes squeezed shut, and Michiru looked away, pretending not to notice the tears in their corners.  Hotaru took a deep breath, centering herself, before continuing.

“I moved in to try and Silence Wall, give Sailor Moon some room to work, but she panicked - I mean, she had been panicking for a while, you know her, but she really lost it.  Took out the Crystal, ignoring all of us warning her not to use it, and I just remember her pleading something before there was this huge white flash that knocked us all out.  I woke up on the ground, and there were no enemies left around us.  But Sailor Moon, she was…different.  Whatever she asked the Crystal to do, whatever she did, it changed her.

“She’s not Usagi any more.  She’s Serenity now.”

Michiru had a million questions rising up, but Hotaru continued before she could ask a single one.  “But that’s not the worst of it.  She - she brought Mercury back, but she’s wrong now, she’s - do you remember Mercury from the Silver Millenium at all?”

Michiru nodded - her memories of the Silver Millenium as Neptune weren’t many, but she had a few recollections of each Senshi based on virtual communications they had shared at one point or another.  They were all so much colder then, each of them so bitter at the Queen but able only to channel their rage into servitude, lest they invoke her planet-cleansing wrath upon their own homeland, but Mercury had been among the iciest of them all.  She had seen lives as nothing more than data entry points, valued no beauty but that of a scientific discovery, and she pointed her immense intellect towards measures that could expand the Silver Empire further, could keep the Earthlings and the other planets in check, could perhaps even extend the Queen’s reach beyond that of their galaxy.  Michiru in the present suppressed a shudder - as Neptune in her past life she too had been ruthless, but at least she had possessed some feelings.  Mercury’s only true emotion had been curiosity, and she had no ethical qualms about how to answer the most disturbing of theories.

Hotaru nodded in return, perhaps a little relieved that she would not have to attempt to explain Mercury’s ancient persona.  “It’s her, Michiru.  Serenity brought her back, but we’re pretty sure she brought back the old Mercury.  And Serenity said has to recharge, but she made us bring the rest of the bodies to the Shrine - she’s going to do that to everyone who died.  Minako thinks she’s going to do the same thing to the rest of us after, but Rei is hasn’t given up arguing that Usagi is still in there, that she’s just acting out of grief right now.”

Michiru cleared her throat before rasping out - “What do you think?”

Hotaru grit her teeth and looked away, debating the options before putting her steely gaze back on Michiru’s face.  “Minako’s right.  Serenity thinks this is going to be Crystal Tokyo - once she ‘wakes’ them, she says - but it’s not the Crystal Tokyo you all saw, not according to the others.  Turns out the future isn’t set in stone after all,” she finished, shaking her head disgustedly.

She stood abruptly, her hand leaving Michiru’s and the haze settled rapidly over her mind once more as Hotaru crossed to the foot of her bed and rifled through her charts.  “You’re healing too fast - the doctors are going to get suspicious in another day or two, if they haven’t already.  I need you to be well enough to make some requests about getting private care - use your name, your money, whatever you need to.  Can you do that?”  Michiru blinked through the fog and nodded yes, and Hotaru nodded back.  “Okay, good.  We’ve gotta get you out of here and heal you up if this is going to work.”

“If - what?” Michiru questioned, not quite able to follow the unspoken plan.

“You, Venus, and I - we’re going to kill Serenity.  Mars too, maybe, Venus is working on that.”

“And Haruka,” Michiru added, her head gesturing weakly to where the discarded jacket lay on the hospital furniture.  Hotaru’s gaze slid over to the same couch, and she responded after a moment of pause.

“Right.  Haruka.  Michiru, where - do you know where she is right now?  Is she here?”

Michiru shrugged.  “Probably - eating.  Showering.  She’s been here every time - probably needed a break,” she finished with a weak smile, happy that Haruka’s brief absence indicated she was still taking some care of herself, not just sitting constantly in the hospital room, waiting for Michiru to wake up.

Hotaru nodded, seemingly accepting this answer.  “Okay.  You talk to her about this then.  Listen - I’m going to go, your nurse is due back in -” she glanced at the clock on the wall “- two minutes for vitals checks.  I’ll be back tomorrow with Minako and Rei to work on getting you out of here.  You remember what you need to talk to the doctors about?”

Michiru resisted the urge to roll her eyes - she may be slightly incapacitated, but she resented a child assuming that she couldn’t remember a simple request.  She had enough clarity, however, to realize that angering Hotaru would not be a good idea, so instead she simply replied, “Yes.”

“Good; see you later, then.”  And with that, Hotaru swept out of the room, and Michiru could not entirely suppress the twinge of hurt that she had not warranted a get-well wish or even a smile from the girl that she had once so cared for.

But such thoughts were overshadowed quickly by the gravitas of the situation - a situation that she had caused, she realized, although whether she was sorry for her choice given that Haruka lived was a different matter entirely.  She gave a rueful glance toward the IV bag full of pain relief and pressed the call button for a nurse with a shaking finger.  She was in pain even pumped full of medication, so she could not imagine the agony she would face once the dosage was lowered, but she needed to be able to think more clearly if she was going to make a convincing argument to be released into private care.

Behind this thought, the nagging question still tugged at her subconscious - how were the five of them supposed to be any match for Serenity?