#my apologies for rambling

[dreadful-windandrain]

lets grab tail for mama

[bamsara]

While I like the concept of The Lamb gaining more eldritch and god-like features, I cannot get a comic idea out of my head for the characterization that they stay exactly as a normal sheep is, because they don't need to become anything else in order to enact revenge

They have blunt teeth that's not quite sharp, but they don't have to bite when their horns are hardy and pointed.

Their natural hooves and fingers lack any sort of claws, but they do not need them when they can pull a fist back to pulverize.

After a while, the Mystic Seller, the Bishops, they all expect the Lamb to gain eldritch features like they all did in their ascension. But they stay exactly the same: unassuming, mortal-looking, completely indiscernible from normal sheepfolk, and the Lamb wants that.

They want to look like a normal, mortal Lamb. They want to look exactly like the default prey animal when they kill the Gods. This image is who you killed, and this destroys you. They will not lose themselves, or else they will be erased entirely.

They are not grandiose or deadly looking. They don't mirror the ones that tried to erase them. They don't need to become anything else then The Lamb. The Lamb. The Lamb.

"After everything that was taken from me for being a Lamb, why would I give that up too? I am not the Bishops, I am not monstrous, I am not giant, nor do I have bladed wings or droves of eyes."

"I do not need to resemble monsters to be one. I do not need to become anything other than a simple Lamb to kill gods, or to be one."

All that and they're genuinely an upbeat personality kind of sheep, (you just won't know when they're not) Lamb Lamb Lamb Lamb

[aglorifieddisaster]

I’ve elected to make my own list (plus explanation) because why not. Also may I note this is based on personal bias and not much else plus I’m excluding session 3 dads as I’m not fully caught up with that session yet

1. Terry Jr. Stampler (he tried so hard I just feel for the poor guy)

2. Walter (My guy was not only a great dad to Peadan but also put his life on the line and lost his legs to protect some random kids when he did not in anyway need to. He deserves more appreciation than this fandom gives him tbh)

3. Marco Li-Wilson (Heard pretty much nothing but good things about him from Linc so he gets 3rd)

4. Darryl Wilson (He wasn’t perfect by any means but he definitely did a lot to a least try and help Grant. he’s also just reliable as a dad)

5. Cern (we never really learn much about his relationship with his kids but it seemed pretty good from what we do know. Plus he went through a lot to get his kids back.)

6. Frank Wilson (He’s kinda just a slightly less good Darryl)

7. Henry Oak (He definitely means well and loves his kids a lot but his parenting style could be brought into question. Also he named his kids Lark and Sparrow and as someone unironically named Lyric with a twin of my own named Music that honestly just pissed me off.)

8. Agent Shmegan (I have nothing against him nor for him so he can just go here)

9. Ron Stampler (I feel like people forget he’s not actually that great of a dad. He in multiple instances forces Terry to be the adult and take responsibility despite him being a literal child and generally isn’t well equipped for parenthood even if he has good intentions. He also like asked Terry “who’s your daddy now?” after literally killing his father right in front of him and let Terry fall into a fire to get across himself. But still Ron goes through a lot of character growth and genuinely loves Terry and tries his best so I’ll give him that.)

10. Grant Li-Wilson (This might be to more personal bies but like if you know you got problems as a general rule don’t add a kid to the mix)

11. Sparrow Oak-Garcia (Another general rule: don’t go into parenthood with an already established expectation of what your child is going be like and if you do, don’t fucking tell them when they don’t meet it. He also didn’t allow Hero to have a normal childhood which is definitely taking away some points.)

12. Jodie Foster (I think he was a good dad… until Glen showed up at least, but even still he was fine)

13. Nicky Foster (Putting aside his good intentions and the complexities of the situation and whether or not he wanted to he straight up just abandoned his child. Which yk not great)

14. Tony Pepperoni (his daughter doesn’t like him and he generally isn’t a great guy but like eh I really don’t care about him)

15. Glenn Close (He was a bad influence, acted more as a friend than a dad, wasn’t emotionally available, put Nick in harms way, and was fairly neglectful through frequently leaving for his band stuff and doing things like going to Disney without Nick. Still he undeniably loved his son and sacrificed a lot for him. He’s a good dad in concept but not so much in practice.)

16. Bill Close (Again we really don’t know a lot about his relationship with Glenn but from what we do know he was just like a much worse Glenn)

17. Scam Likely (bro literally made a child for the shits and giggles then abandoned it like Christ dude wtf)

18. Scary’s bio dad (He didn’t directly harm her but also definitely wasn’t anything helpful)

19. Barry Oak (He’s just… really annoying and he did directly harm Henry emotionally at least without even the excuse of good intentions)

20. Gartok (hot take: enslaving your children is bad)

21. Willy Stampler (hot take: attempting to murder your child is also bad)

Alright! Glenn Trial Rules, here are my rankings of every dad (that I could remember) in dndads based on how good they are at being a dad. Disagree with me and make your own lists if you'd like!

Terry Jr Stampler

Ron Stampler

Marco Li-Wilson

Henry Oak

Walter

Agent Shmegan

Darryl Wilson

Cern

Grant Li-Wilson

Sparrow Oak-Garcia

Frank Wilson

Nicky Foster

Jodie Foster

Tony Pepperoni

Terry Sr. (vampire)

Glenn Close

Scam Likely

BIG SHANE SILVAAAA

Tucker Trout

Bill Close

Ed Farnsworth

Gartok

Barry Oak

Willy Stampler

Scary's Bio Dad

[foldingfittedsheets]

So one thing I’ve noticed is that people’s DnD characters may vary but there is usually an underlying thread that they all have in common. This thread is typically related to what that person struggles with the most.

For instance, my betrotheds DnD characters: a bitchy warlock we had to bust out of two different pacts, a sassy barbarian, a reformed drow cultist, and a sunshine fighter cleric.

All these characters were wildly different but at their very core struggle was them grappling with their self worth. My betrothed struggles with their worth a great deal and even with different facets showing their characters all have that too.

Mine all tend to contend with different themes of loneliness and acceptance. Surprise, surprise, the little autistic gremlin yearns to have been met with more love and lasting friendships.

So we’re at breakfast. I am meeting a new friend of my betrotheds for the first time. It’s been twenty minutes since I’ve met this man. I say my theory. He laughs. He starts to describe a few of his characters but specifies that he often has healing aspects. He gives a very broad overview of their character arcs.

I ponder for a moment then said, “Would you like to have my assessment?”

He laughed, “Sure!”

“We’ve just met. It’s gonna get real.”

“Bring it on.”

“I think your struggle is that you feel you must offer something of value or service to people to be worthy of their love.”

His jaw dropped. His fork froze midway to his mouth. A potato fell. He stared into space as this sank in. Quietly he said, “Oh.”

[hollyberrygarden]

I was thinking over the way Pavlova describes Wildberry's crush. he says (direct quote), "you know well that it won't work out, but you have no intention of giving up!" in their interaction in the kingdom, he also calls it a "foolish" type of love

and I was like. what does that imply about Wildberry's crush?? and how would it apply to Crunchy Chip??

"foolish" implies a lack of good sense or judgment. it's a crush that can only end negatively—heartbreak, fighting, strain, or some other horrible result. Wildberry could either keep his feelings to himself, being unhappy with his own cowardice. he could also confess and get rejected, therefore losing whatever bond he had with his crush in the first place. but he could also be accepted and enter a relationship, but then the worries he has could be true. it could not work out, just like he knows it won't, and it would be unfair to both of them. every possible end result (to someone who is convinced it will not work out) would demonstrate the foolishness of the crush he has. Wildberry strikes me as the kind of guy who doesn't get crushes often, and he deals with them on his own before he chooses to confess, if ever

I'm imagining him in his own head about it, which is why no one else seems to know; it could also be why he doesn't externally react to it when the others are around but pretty much concedes to his worries over it (and openly seems. I guess worried about them!!) when he's talking one-on-one with Pavlova. he has gone over these possibilities to himself without any external input. he is trying to figure out how to make it work, which is the "no intention of giving up" that Pavlova mentioned, but maybe he doesn't have a set answer yet, which is why it's still something he hasn't confessed. Pavlova only knows because it's what he does

I was thinking about why it "not working out" (very generally speaking) is something he would think about, and I wondered what kind of relationship he would want. in an overworld dialogue, Royal Margarine tells him he must be "popular with a tall, muscular build like that." whether it's true is unknown, but Wildberry says he doesn't care about such "trivialities," assumedly being popular. if he doesn't want popularity, maybe he wants something simple?? or steady?? or maybe even straightforward. it's hard to know for sure. he wants something that's actually possible for him and his lifestyle in the kingdom. he's a busy guy who often travels away for important and dangerous business. it would be difficult to be in any kind of steady relationship when that's what you do for work. long distance isn't for everyone

to him, he cannot be with Crunchy Chip because of their duties to their kingdoms. I think it circles back to that. Crunchy Chip is the captain of the cream wolves in the Dark Cacao Kingdom, and he is close enough to the king to travel with him to Beast Yeast. he protects the kingdom every day, as well as the woods surrounding it. Wildberry is a hired bodyguard to the Queen Mother, and he has sworn loyalty to her (and the king and queen of course); he frequently travels for work and is likely gone for long stretches of time, depending. they both have very important jobs that neither wants to give up. during Cookie Odyssey, they each talk about their love for their kingdoms and their respective leaders, even making a bet about who will want to visit the other more. they exchange letters on the regular. Hollyberry herself has noticed how much closer they're getting. he knows how much Crunchy Chip values his position in the Dark Cacaco Kingdom, and he values his own position in the Hollyberry Kingdom. they don't want to leave. they cannot leave. not now, maybe not for a long time. maybe not ever, in a horrible reality

it's foolish in every way fathomable. to Wildberry, at least

[lazylittledragon]

i love it when you take doomed yaoi and put them in sweaters and give them children and happiness thanks dad

you're so welcome my son it's what i'm here for

[humanityinahandbag]

I've explored the idea of Eddie being married to Steve without knowing it before in a story before (you can read it here), but in that one, Eddie and Steve have been together for years and Eddie is just so completely blinded by pining that he doesn't know how serious the relationship is.

So now I'd like to put forth a different take on this trope for the steddie court's approval.

Steve, who is so incensed by homophobia for his best friend, Robin, that he decides to protest against Reagan by getting married to Eddie.

The only issue? Eddie has zero clue.

Steve got certified in the mail to be an officiant. Claudia works at city hall and isn't sure why Steve wanted a marriage license, but figured he'd helped Dustin so many times that she could help out with one little favor. And Steve figures that customers in Family Video, while not totally aware, count as witnesses.

So he picks a morning where the sun is shining in an especially Fuck Reagan sort of way, gets dressed in his best polo shirt and jeans, styles his hair, and goes to work.

To be clear; Steve does not think that this is legally binding.

He's thinking that this will be a fun sort of protest souvenir to show Robin. Like "Hey, bestie, soulmate, light of my life! Tack this on the wall! I'm technically gay married to my other best friend, so fuck the haters!"

And to also be clear; he knows Eddie is gay as well. No one told him. But he sees the way Eddie looks at him. He knows Eddie's got a crush (though he doesn't know that said crush has been around since reign as King Steve). Steve knows Love.

He also knows that Eddie unlocked a whole world of bisexuality for him. In fact, he's been putting the moves on Eddie for weeks now.

Eddie is just... so shy and flustered and nervous.

Thankfully, Steve is great at romance. He can seduce. He can use the Harrington Techniques.

And he thinks that a fake marriage license might be just the ice breaker to show Eddie. Proof that he's not homophobic. So much so that he's into dudes. Maybe even get in a good laugh. Get Eddie to chill out and stop acting so skittish and just let Steve kiss him already.

(And maybe, yunno, let Steve do other things to him that probably involve candles and flowers and maybe some smooth jazz).

So to Steve, this is a two for one solution.

He gets to protest homophobia with a fake marriage license for his best friend Robin, and he gets to show the guy he likes (and who likes him back) that he's totally into him with a cute little down with Reagan ice breaker.

It's a win win for everyone.

So one day, when Eddie comes into Family Video, the poor metalhead very nearly dies on the spot when Steve, smile bright enough to light a room, pushes a paper towards him and asks him to sign.

And Eddie, lovestruck and beside himself, doesn't even register what Steve is saying. Steve is perfect and wonderful and funny and smart, and he's asking Eddie to sign something, and Eddie barely even looks down at the document before he's scribbling his name.

Steve does explain. Of course he does.

Eddie just... isn't really listening.

He does however listen when Steve asks Eddie out at the end of his shift and Steve gets to watch the other boy turn pink as a summer sky when he says yes.

And that's that.

Steve has a first date to look forward to and a fake marriage certificate to turn in. He gives the paper back to Claudia and asks if she can stamp it. Make it look real. He'll frame it when he gets it back.

The issue is, Claudia is really good at her job. And Hawkins is currently experiencing the aftermath of a Diet Apocalypse and doesn't notice the fine details of everything moving through their local government. So the paperwork processes; laws be damned.

It's definitely a fun surprise when Steve opens the mail one day (before he's even gotten to take Eddie out), and finds out that he's somehow, legally, the first gay marriage in Indiana. Or most of the United States, really.

Which is... definitely something.

But Steve loves Love. And so he processes the news pretty quick and then walks into work with the energy of an especially confused but cheerful golden retriever. "Hey, Robin!" he'd say, reading through the letter again. "You remember how I made that marriage license for you?"

She laughs fondly. "Yeah, dingus. It was sweet."

"Anything for you," he says, sincerely. And then; "You remember how I'm going to take Eddie out? And you agree? You think he likes me back?"

She snorts. "He's totally obsessed with you. I'm pretty sure we've skipped a few stages over like and moved right onto love."

Which is great. Because when Steve falls, he falls hard. He's a guy who loves Love. It's great to find someone who loves him back the way he wants!

"Awesome," beams Steve. "So do you think I should tell him we're actually legally married before or after I take him to the movies?"

[margindoodles2407]

Alright, everyone, say it with me: The Catholic Church Has No Power Or Authority To Change Her Doctrines Or The Moral Law

[sillycillsillycill]

Sargeant Major Rodolfo Parra commanding orders to the vaqueros with a ferm and strong tone of voice. Every order being sharp and precise, leaving no room for arguments. Professional. Brash. Strict.

Colonel Alejandro Vargas having to lock himself in his office to relieve himself because the way Rudy sounds when barking orders is almost similar to when he gets pinned down in their bedroom, or a closet, or anywhere. The same low, authoritative voice that leaves him weak in the knees and has his pants a bit too tight for his liking

[letyhide]

When Mapicc did things that hurt Zam she was okay with laying her head low, apologising, changing her morals, working around her oath, and sticking by Mapicc.

Zam did things that hurt Mapicc. They were never directed at him, Often they were done out of refusal to fight him directly. Yet Mapicc still saw the lack of support during Mawn, and how Zam threw hearts at Bacon (when he was their enemy) as betrayal. And was hurt.

Due to Mapicc’s reactions to being hurt being usually violent, and directed towards Zam, it’s easier for his feelings and needs to be overshadowed compared to Zam’s in discussions. Because he sees himself as the victim even after being the perpetrator of some real damaging stuff - stuff that is often way worse than the what is done against him. Because yeah, Despite everything that happened to both of them, Mapicc is sitting on a comfortable 20 hearts, while Zam is on 4 BECAUSE of Mapicc and how many times she has been killed by him. Mapicc’s response to things is usually fighting and violence. He has self preservation and self interest very high on his priority list. While Zam’s n1 response to situations is usually self sabotage. That’s why their conflicts work so well. Zam throws herself at Mapicc many times, and just accepts whatever the outcome is (most of the time she knows she’s gonna lose).

But still Mapicc’s original worries and feelings are still valid. And they come out of a place of care for Zam and insecurity in himself. He just doesn't know how to deal with them. When he’s in a heated discussion with Zam he starts saying how "if killing you is gonna end this conversation, then i will do it” just another way of saying “i would rather hurt you than deal with my own feelings”.

It’s crazy to me that they both seem to not see the care and effort they each put into their relationship. it seems to be all about "who used who more" when, it genuinely is not about that. (Recently yes. Mapicc admitted to using Zam for the flame fight when wanting to cut her off. and yesterday he wanted to use her to get Mane with the arrow cannon). But all this talk about using one another is.. Quite frankly useless.

When Mapicc first mentioned the feeling of being used by Zam, it was all about his jealousy towards Derapchu, Zam’s new 20 heart teammate, and not being included in plans anymore. He felt like Zam was just calling him whenever she was in danger and needed help. Yet during *that talk* After the flame void trap, Zam asked Mapicc to stay by her side, and Mapicc refused. And says “if you ever need help with a fight or are in a dire situation. call me”, when he was accusing Zam of only using him for fights prior to this. Almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. He only sees Himself useful in pvp. So mainly renders himself available for pvp fights. Or it could be projection? He accuses others of seeing him only for PVP skill. When He's the first one to do that. During the same talk he says “I provide what? pvp skill, that’s what i'm saying bro, that’s all i'm good for” And assumes everyone else does too… And I genuinely think this is what this misunderstanding all boils down to: Mapicc’s insecurities about himself, and his place next to people. After a teamless season, Zam pulling away might’ve gone better if it didn’t, in his eyes, prove exactly Mapicc’s worries. (but he's also an hypocrite as he's the first one to throw Zam away when the empire logged back on).

Mapicc pushes his feelings, and Zam, away. Says he didn’t mean the apology that day, because being angry has always been easier than being vulnerable for Mapicc. And this time Zam just doesn’t take it. All this time of having Mapicc’s insecurities being projected onto her, Mapicc actually uses her for the creeking thing, blows up her flower field and he couldn't be more blunt about his hatred for her, when all she's done is be there for him. And she snaps. “Mapicc should’ve known him this way. He just used me”, and looks back and picks apart every single thing Mapicc has done wrong to her, which to be fair. There is a lot. But also conveniently leaves out all of the hearts he gave her, she leaves out how many times Mapicc jumped back into a fight just to try and save Zam, Even though it didn’t benefit him directly. She leaves out how the other day Mapicc left her a heart in a chest. When you have the full picture you KNOW these two care about each other.

They’re so used to being by each other's side, and so bad at communicating the care they have for one another, that the second something goes wrong all they’re left with is their unresolved feelings, that they never got over, and use it as a weapon to hurt the other.

When Zam accuses Mapicc of using her, he replies “how did I use you, what did I get out of you exactly”. Even telling Minute “how did I use him, he’s the dropper” again giving this image of how he sees other’s (and by extension his) value through their fighting skills. As if "It wouldn't make sense that he would use Zam, because she is not as skilled as pvp as him". This of course isn’t what he actually believes. It was almost what he wanted Zam to believe, (and what he wants to believe himself, but he cannot even stick to this version in his head, as he replies that "I never said you did nothing" to Zam. when that's exactly what he was implying) because that is easier to explain, it makes more sense for “Mapicc” to believe that than for him to admit a “i care about you”.

And when Mapicc was alone with his thoughts, he thought about what Zam was saying to him... Did he actually use her? He says that, if he did, it wasn't on purpose.... Well except that one time. Which he sees as justified since Zam gave hearts to his enemy! Bacon... who... is now his teammate...... huh.... and the team really wants them to reconcile and he realizes that it just not might be his call as he was the one that farmed her until she was at 4 hearts... hmmm........ I'm so excited to see where this will go.

[misteria247]

Frank could admit to his supposed flaws. Out of all the neighbors, he was the one who was the most prickly, so to speak. He went with logic rather than feelings and was the polar opposite of his best friend Julie. He could admit that his snippy personality could make him difficult to be around. That it could make him unapproachable to some. Yet he wasn't an unreasonable man or puppet. But at the moment.....

'I'm gonna start killing people.'

The grey puppet thought briefly as he grounded his teeth to not get into an argument. Praying to any deity out there to give him some patience. To spare his last nerve that was on its last leg. Across from him was Barnaby, the large blue dog puppet looking just as annoyed despite his easy-going grin.

"I just don't think it's a good idea exposing us."

The larger male said his tone lazy but firm. Frank took a deep breath, reminding himself that Barnaby was only thinking about the others. Just like himself.

"We can't keep this hidden forever. Sooner or later (Y/N) is gonna find out about us. And I think it'd be wise if we eased them into this rather than spring it on them."

Frank explained, trying to get Barnaby to see what he was saying. Just as he'd been trying to in vain to get him to see for the past two days.

"And what makes you think that we can trust (Y/N)?"

Howdy piped up, ever the question asker as much as a salesman. His eyes were narrowed a bit, staring Frank down. The smaller puppet wasn't phased, but he didn't respond. He didn't know how to convey that just from watching you for these past few weeks, he'd just got this gut feeling that you were trustworthy. Not in a way that was the logical manner that he was known for.

"Because they've been fixing us up! Despite all the bumps and road blocks, (Y/N) has done nothing but put us first! If they're willing to fix us old puppets, then I'm sure they're trustworthy!"

Julie chimed in, speaking Frank's thoughts exactly.

"I mean, look at my dress! My hair! Eddie's mailbag and Poppy's feathers! For goodness sake, they'd cleaned you up Howdy! And they just finished Frank's vest!"

The chipper puppet explained, holding the end of her red dress to show your handy work. The tears and holes that once littered the skirt were now patched up with adorable flower styled patches that were sewed on and ironed on. Some of them looked a bit bad, but they were stable enough to stay in place until you could figure out how to make them look better. Yet it was clear that they were done with care. And you'd gotten quite a few burns and pricks from trying to fix it. Poppy, who'd been quiet, jumped a bit, her feathers looking much better since their arrival to your home.

'Countless hours spent preening and fixing those feathers.'

Frank noted remembering how long it'd taken you to get the worst ones out.

"Julie darling....just because they fixed us doesn't mean that they're trustworthy with this."

Sally replied, sounding like she was exhausted and uninterested. The actor was next to Poppy, looking rather unimpressed with Julie's arguments.

"Now, now, let's not fight, please. This is a discussion, not an argument."

Poppy said, ever, the motherly one, as she sensed the possibility of an argument brewing. Julie, who had opened her mouth to reply, closed it, and Sally just sighed, not commenting.

"Well.....I don't know about you and Ms. Starlet, but I agree with Mr. Frankly and Ms. Joyful. (L/N) has been nothing but thoughtful. I think if we just explained, they'd understand."

Eddie, who hadn't really given his stance, put in. Frank looked at the larger mailman, who was nervous but steady in his words. Not wanting to stare too long, he quickly looked away.

"This could end badly if we tell them, you three realize this, right??"

Howdy asked his tone, judging.

"Howdy is onto something, pal. I'm not saying that (Y/N) is a bad person, but they're not him. Humans aren't always nice."

Barnaby threw in, looking a bit regretful at Julie and Eddie's expressions falling. Poppy and Sally didn't say anything else, but by their expressions, they were taking Barnaby and Howdy's words into consideration. Frank wanted to tear his hair out because he understood where they were coming from. He knew humans sometimes were not kind, especially to people or things who were different. But he couldn't give up. Something within him just couldn't let himself completely agree.

Not after watching you fix and clean them. Not after having you talk to him, always friendly save for when you were tired from work and other things. Not after watching you burn, cut, and prick your fingers and hands so much just to make them look better. Everything you did, it just screamed kindness. He wanted to give you a chance to be eased into this, not be taken by surprise.

You deserved that much, at least.

Frank steeled himself to again argue his, Julie, and Eddie's case on trusting you when a voice spoke up.

"No, they're not him. (Y/N) won't ever be him, but........they have his kindness. They've spoken to us and treated us like living beings. I think.....that they can be trusted."

Wally, who had been silent the entire time, had caused them all to quiet down and look at him. The smaller yellow puppet was calmly sitting on your armchair, a thoughtful expression on his face. Frank could see the others' expressions becoming resigned despite their displeasure. While Julie and Eddie perked up immediately at another one of their group agreeing.

"Wally buddy...."

Barnaby started to say, but Wally looking at him with a head tilt, quietly listening to his best friend, made him stop. The dog puppet just gave a sigh, knowing that Wally wasn't one to put his opinion in unless he was sure. And trying to change his mind was futile.

"I don't like this. You better think of a plan on how to do this, Frank..."

Barnaby said, gaze boring into him. Frank just thinned his mouth, meeting it head on.

"I always have a plan, Barnaby. I'm a bit offended you'd think otherwise."

[imnotditzy]

Captain Marvel doesn’t know what a normal death is

(TW: mentions of death, brief mentions of murder gang violence)

No but really if you ask a street rat, literal living lighting, a bunch of ancient immortal people and a really wise king from a bajillion years ago, why would a reasonable answer be an option?

Like Billy thinks that if you’re 60 one of your feet are in the grave. Why? Because that was the life expectancy in the 50s. He's also homeless so he’s already more exposed to crime anyway, I wouldn’t doubt he thinks death by “minding someone else’s business” is common enough to be recorded as such in its own category and not murder. Also, he literally fights supervillains who try to kill him everyday? His view is skewed so much, that the damage might be irreversible. 😭

Moving on, Marvel is literally sentient magic. They can’t die, and if they can it’s not a thing that’s very easy to come by. The amount of work it takes to even do the equivalent of a paper cut is excessive, the concept of them dying would take a lot to set in. And they are a lost cause when it comes to knowing what a normal death is. The only “normal” deaths they’ve really paid attention to are the deaths of the Champions…and none of them had anything close to a normal death. (One of them literally gets hacked in two 💀)

The acronym; do I even have to explain? All of them besides Solomon, Heracles and Achilles literally haven’t died. And literally no hero in Greek mythology dies normally. Solomon is the only one who’s died of natural and normal causes, but he was alive in the BCE. That is a long time ago.

Now, Combine all of them together and what do you get? Captain Marvel: someone who does not have a correct interpretation of typical death!

This would probably concern others around them. Especially the JL, because I feel like Captain would mention this randomly.

—

(Green Lantern [Hal] and Captain Marvel were sent to investigate a crime scene together and they stumble upon the body.)

Captain Marvel: Aw…seems like their time came. (Captain’s got a sympathetic but large smile.)

Green Lantern (looking down at the stabbed body): Um, Cap?

Captain: It’s a shame. But I guess nothing could be done…

Lantern: Captain, they were stabbed???

Captain: Oh, I know. Happens to the best of people, right?

Lantern: Uh —No? Captain this is…worrying??

Captain: They’re in a better place now. Maybe.. ☺️

—

(They’re now back at the watchtower for a debrief, but it somehow turned into Batman questioning Captain Marvel.)

Batman: Captain can you explain why the body was not concerning to you?

(Batman’s staring at Captain intensely.)

Captain (confused smiling): …because there was nothing to worry about?

Batman (raising an eyebrow): Why?

Captain (hesitant): Because there’s probably not a serial killer or whatever running around? They killed an insider, it was gang violence.

Batman: How were you sure?

(Captain looks up to the side like their remembering before shrugging)

Captain: …Oh, I’ve seen similar bodies like that before.

—

(This occurrence is reason #5738 on why Captain Marvel cannot interact with civilians. But in Captain’s defense, how was Billy supposed to know lifespans updated?)

Captain Marvel (pointing at an “old” lady): Oh, she’s 62?

Citizen: Yeah?

Captain (sympathetic): Oh. It’s good she’s still on her feet though.

Citizen: What?

Captain: She’s thriving for her age, right?

Citizen: C—Captain Marvel, she’s 60 not 99. She just retired.

Captain (confused): Really? Why would they have her working so long if she’s nearing the end? (The lady turns around with this expression on her face: 😟)

Citizen: Because she wanted to?? Captain are you ageist?

Captain (never heard that word a day in his life): Uh, I don’t think so? What does that even mean??

(The media later somehow gets ahold of the footage and it becomes such a scandal it reaches the JL; Captain Marvel is then forced to have a public statement. At the giant press conference, Mary and Freddy are there standing next to him and laughing.)

Captain Marvel (whispering): Shut up, it’s not like you thought any different.

Miss Marvel (also whispering): Yeah but we’re not stupid enough to say it to their face, Captain.

Captain Marvel (still whispering): It’s not like you guys would have any less scandals than I do if you were in the media as much as I am.

Reporter (impatiently): Ahem. Marvels?

(Both siblings look like deer in headlights while Freddy laughs at them. They both apologize in unison.)

(Captain then clears their throat, they look like they’re dreading this.)

Captain Marvel: I am terribly sorry for what I said about [62yo citizen]. I hadn’t intended to be rude, but I seemed as such because I had a gap in my…

Solomon (telling him what to say): …Knowledge. I was under the assumption that the average lifespan wasn’t much longer than a person’s 60s…

Captain (repeating what Solomon’s saying): I now know that, while once true, that information is outdated.

(Billy went on for three more minutes, only stopping because the DTC got too bored and people were starting to give him funny looks.)

[coolseabird]

Random Musings on Gale and His Relationship With Mystra

I find Gale's relationship with Mystra to be one of the most fascinating parts of his story. It’s a dynamic that can be viewed in many different ways, depending on how you approach it and I think that’s part of what makes it so compelling. While some might see it literally, I’d like to explore it through a more allegorical perspective, though I want to be clear: this is just one way to interpret their relationship, and other viewpoints are just as valuable. This isn't even the only way that I personally interpret them haha. (I just have to be nuanced, it's a compulsion truly.)

In literature and mythology, take Greek mythology, for instance, relationships between gods and mortals can often carry deeper, symbolic meanings. The gods aren’t always just powerful beings they can represent larger forces like nature, fate, or human desires. This approach, called allegorical interpretation, is something I find really enjoyable! It adds layers to a story.

Consider the famous story of Paris’s judgment of the goddesses. The goddess Eris, seeking to sow discord, throws a golden apple inscribed “for the fairest” into a wedding attended by Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite. They decide to have the mortal Paris judge who deserves the apple most out of the three of them and is thus the fairest.

Each goddess offers Paris a gift in exchange for the title. Athena offers great tactical ability, Hera promises leadership over vast kingdoms, and Aphrodite tempts him with the love of Helen, the most beautiful woman in the world (who happens to already be married). Paris chooses Aphrodite, gains Helen as a lover and this leads to the Trojan War. Beyond the literal reading, this story can be seen as desire (Aphrodite) overcoming both wisdom (Athena) and marriage (Hera). Paris's fatal flaw is his lust for Helen. The story can also be interpreted as Paris losing due to declining to accept both of the other offers. He fails strategically in the ensuing war and also causes the collapse of his own kingdom.

Mystra, as the living incarnation of the Weave, can be interpreted similarly. She isn’t merely Gale's ex-lover. She is magic itself, the force that gives Gale his entire identity. Their relationship transcends romance; it’s more like that of a man consumed by his craft to an unhealthy degree. Like a mathematician to mathematics, or a physicist to physics, he's in love with something that can't love him back.

His attempt to give Mystra a gift she's never received before, something truly incredible, is due to his belief that transcending all limits to somehow earn Mystra’s (and thus, magic’s and his life's work's) recognition is both possible and necessary. It was 100% done with the best intentions but tragically any all-consuming passion carries the risk of blowing up in your face. (Just look at Alfred Nobel, pun intended) And, due to the aforementioned "blow up", his emotional low and his measurable low in his abilities correspond quite directly

There is a cut dialogue from early access about how much of his power he lost after this:

You see, this fire – there was a time that I could make it come alive. That it would take the shape of a dragon and roar in delight. There was a time I could silence a Beholder with a word, and lift a tower from its foundations with a flourish. There was a time I was all but one with the Weave. But no more – a mere shadow of the wizard I used to be. Why? Because I’ve lost.

A key theme in their relationship (in my opinion) is not just Mystra’s rejection but what her rejection represents: The collapse of Gale’s identity as a powerful magic user. (An identity he's built his life around and sacrificed for ever since he was a child)

Without this, he starts self destructing. He has to make do with consuming scraps of magic rather than the all encompassing sort he used to receive from Mystra's presence.

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While Mystra’s treatment of Gale is undeniably harmful, I think it’s important to recognize that she is not cruel in a personal, calculated way. She is so out of touch with normal people that she’s more akin to a force of nature. As an arbiter of natural laws, she wants to control him/kill him because he represented a destabilizing influence, not out of any targeted animosity. (Which is arguably worse than outright hate depending on your point of view)

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Now for a bit of a change in topic I wanted to go over his different endings:

His "good" ending comes from the realization that magic, or any external force, cannot be the source of true self-worth. The deeper theme here, beyond just getting over an ex-relationship, is that Gale must learn to build relationships with people and and find a healthy balance between his work and personal life, rather than devoting himself wholly to impersonal things at the cost of his well-being. He has to learn that he is "Galenough," as @ekansbot once put it. Ultimately, his growth in this regard is best shown with his choice to embrace his ordinary, human last name "Dekarios", rather than defining himself solely as the archmage "of Waterdeep."

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More evidence about the meaning of names to him, earlier during the conversation with Mystra in the tabernacle, she will either call him "Gale Dekarios" if she's displeased to remind him of his humanity, or"Gale of Waterdeep" when pleased to inflate his ego with a title. This shows how revolutionary it is for him to willingly forego having a title at all in this ending as it had been something he sought in the past.

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Alternatively, and more fun for my tragedy-loving psyche, he can totally succumb to his flaws and lose himself. In this case the orb's desires fully supplant him as a person. He becomes a power hungry god, doomed to perpetuate the same callousness Mystra showed to him. His grand dreams of bettering the world fades, and his only goals shift to slowly gathering more power and followers and eventually challenging the rest of the gods. He entirely gives up on being a "person" he's the god of ambition now, and you can see it in the way he speaks how much he has mentally separated himself from the mortal world. He has fully given up on having a life outside of his obsessions. It’s quite dark. (Though not quite as dark as my absolute favorite, the Absolute ending, where you use thousands of mind controlled innocents to become Kratos.)

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Something that's extra sad for you. If the player character chooses to break up with him after becoming a god he says "so I'm still not enough for you" Aghh it's horrible. His insecurities only get worse as a god.

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Or... he could kill himself. Literally destroying his darker hungers (the orb) for an altruistic purpose, but he also, obviously, destroys himself in the process. Very sad indeed.

Now, here’s something I find fascinating:

If Gale chooses not to use the crown, nor to surrender it to Mystra, but instead lets it remain in the water, the orb stays within him but rather than being a catastrophe it actually becomes harmless and inert.

Why does this happen? Gale speculates that it's because he has found contentment due to the player character's romance with him.

Clip sourced from this video: https://youtu.be/gikRKEIpvQs

This reveals something crucial: the orb, from the very beginning, was tied to his own emotions. It was basically an extension of him all along. He was inadvertently the one driving the orb’s power. It was his own despair and obsession that were indirectly killing him the entire time! It's very tragic but also supremely interesting!

It is this somewhat gut wrenching realization, though, that makes this the best "good" ending. He doesn't have to apologize to Mystra to get a happy ending out of pity. Instead, it is his own emotional catharsis that resolves the problem of the orb internally, rather than it being fixed through external means. It also has a sort of Jungian quality to it that I really like. With the idea of integrating and accepting all parts of oneself (allowing the orb to remain, but becoming settled and integrated), rather than trying to shed them being a theme I think fits his character well. Additionally, he keeps the orb scar, which looks pretty neat. :)

[foldingfittedsheets]

Everyone has little idiosyncrasies about them.

Just tics and habits you don’t question until you’re cuddled up safe and relaxed in bed with someone who’s not you who is suddenly incredibly alarmed when you get an itch and abruptly stiffen your whole body like a fainting goat in a blinding all consuming need to itch the itch and you writhe or flail until you can address the only thing that currently matters in your entire nervous system which is the itch before you calmly resume cuddling.

Anyway. Apparently I’m weird when I get itchy.

[tinartss]

to love and be loved in return

[retiredficwriter]