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cherrycheridarling · 3 years

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happier | t.h.

tom holland x singer!reader

warnings: swearing and sad. fluff if you squint

summary: you wish tom the best with his new relationship in your new song. {listen to happier by olivia rodrigo (if you want)}

wc: 3.6k

'We broke up a month ago,'

"I've been thinking," your heart sunk at his words, "I'm always working." he grabbed both of your hands.

You locked your gaze in his. Sat in the living room of his shared flat. Inches apart yet you could already feel the separation between the two of you growing.

He avoided your eye contact, "I-I can't be in a relationship unless I can give one hundred percent of myself to the other person. A-and I know I haven't been doing that to you, which is c-completely unfair." he wiped away a tear from your cheek that you didn't know had fell, "You've been so, so good to me. I'm sorry I wasn't better, but I can't keep putting you through this." his voice was barely audible.

You finally tore your eyes away from his face. His tear soaked face. Choosing to stare at a spot over his shoulder instead. You took three deep breaths. In and out. Something about his words made you confused, but your pain overpowered it.

"Please say something. Anything." he whispered against your knuckles. Holding your hands to his lips.

You gently removed your hands from his grip, "Thank you for being mature and honest with me." you started with a sniffle, "Thank you for all of our memories and for showing me what love is," you cupped his face, "Thank you for everything, loser." your light laugh lacked any humour, but it still brought a slight smile to his face.

He held your hand that was resting on his jaw, "I love you more than life itself, darling." he kissed your palm and you felt your heart shatter. "Never hesitate to call, dummy."

You nodded with a sad smile. "I love you, too." You stood up and made your way out of the door. A year and a half down the drain within ten minutes.

'Your friends are mine, you know I know you moved on. Found someone new.'

"Do you guys wanna do something on Saturday? I don't have work. Maybe karaoke?" you asked the group without looking up from your phone.

Harrison made a confused noise, "Did you forget? We have Nadia's birthday par—" you heard a loud smack, "—Ow! What? Oh, shit."

You looked up to see Zendaya, Jacob, Harry, Sam and Tuwaine all glaring at Harrison.

"Absolute div." Tuwaine muttered.

You furrowed your eyebrows, "Who's Nadia?" you looked at all of them as they avoided eye contact. "Daya?"

She let out a long sigh before clearing her throat, "Um, Nadia is- Well she's kind of- you know, um—"

"—Tom's new girlfriend." Sam finished for her.

Your mouth formed an 'o' shape as you processed the information. His new girlfriend. It'd been a month and four days since he ended your relationship. And he had a new girlfriend.

It took him a month to move on. A month to be able to give a hundred percent of himself to someone.

You couldn't tell if you were more angry or sad. Maybe a mixture of both. Angry that your friends were hiding information from you, but at the same time you understood their intentions. Sad and upset because the boy who told you he wasn't ready to give a hundred percent of himself was already with someone new.

You slowly nodded, "Oh, okay. Well, I hope you guys have fun." you gave a tight lipped smile before looking back at your phone.

Everyone glanced at each other worriedly before allowing their gazes to fall on you again.

"How do you feel?" Jacob asked cautiously.

You locked your phone and set it on your lap, "I'm fine." you faked a smile, "I think I'm gonna head home, though. It's getting late and I have an early studio session. Bye." you quickly grabbed your purse and left with a small wave.

"Y/N! Wait—" the slamming of the front door cut Tuwaine off.

It was three p.m. and you weren't supposed to be in the studio until noon.

'One more girl who brings out the better in you,'

"Y/N/N. You need to talk about it sooner or later." Zendaya reminded you as she sat at the end of your bed with Harrison beside her.

You removed the covers from your face, revealing your tear stained cheeks, "Does she make him happy?"

There was silence from your two friends before they hesitantly nodded. Both weren't completely sure, but they assumed she did.

"Does she bring out the best version of him? Does she stroke his hair while they cuddle? Does she cook with him? Does she walk Tessa with him?"

Harrison sighed, "Y/N/N, we—"

"—Because that's what I did. I brought out the best side of him. I stroked his hair while we cuddled. I cooked with him. I walked Tessa with him. I did it all. Every single thing." your voice broke towards the end as you let the sobs rack through your body.

Harrison and Zendaya went to either side of you and held you. They just held you. Because even they didn't know what to do.

'And I thought my heart was detached from all the sunlight of our past,'

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Zendaya asked as you walked towards Tom's front door.

You nodded and smoothed down your sundress, "Yeah. We ended on good terms. It's been two months or so. We're friends. Plus, I miss hanging out with all of us." you assured her.

She sighed before knocking on the door, "Alright."

A few moments later the door swung open revealing Tom. Dressed in black jeans and a white button-up. Sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Curls dangling over his forehead. A sweet smile on his lips.

You felt your stomach lurch. Air leaving your lungs involuntarily. Heart rate quickening. You could smell his cologne and every single memory with him clouded your mind.

"Hey! It's great to see you guys—"

"—Sorry. I-I think I left something in the car. One second." you rushed out the words before turning on your heel.

Zendaya let out a long sigh, "Fuck."

Tom frowned, "Did I do something wrong?"

'But she's so sweet, she's so pretty. Does she mean you forgot about me?'

"Y/N!" an unfamiliar voice called out to you from somewhere in the boys' backyard.

It was Harrison's annual barbecue get together. Nearly three months since your break up with Tom.

You turned towards the source of the noise and found a girl walking towards you. Brunette. Tight black dress with black heels. Body and face of a model.

"I've been dying to meet you! I'm such a huge fan. I basically live off of your music." she giggled as she hugged you.

You smiled, "Aw! Thank you! That means so much to me. You look amazing, by the way."

She laughed, "Thank you! But you're absolutely gorgeous! Sorry, I completely forgot to introduce myself. I'm Nadia, Tom's girlfriend."

Of fucking course.

You raised your eyebrows, but managed to keep a smile on your face, "Oh! I've heard so much about you! Well, Tom's one lucky guy," you chuckled, "I'd love to chat some more, but I need to use the washroom. Excuse me. It was a pleasure meeting you." you gave her a hoaxed smile before quickly walking away.

You were two feet away from the washroom when Zendaya grabbed your arm, "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

Your breaths were coming out in short puffs, "I just met Nadia?"

Her eyes widened before she dragged you towards Tuwaine's room, "Okay. Let's sit down."

'Oh, I hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me. I'm selfish, I know. I can't let you go,'

"You should move in here." Tom mumbled against your shirt.

You let out a small laugh, "You already have four roommates, love. One more might turn this into a barn."

He lifted his head off of your chest, "I'm serious. Driving from Manchester to Kingston all the time is such a hassle for you. We have recording studios here and it would make me the happiest man in the world if I could wake up to your gorgeousness everyday." he planted kisses on your forehead, nose and lips.

You chuckled at his boyish grin, "It's only a three hour drive and I'm sure the boys don't want me imposing on your time with them."

He quickly shook his head, "I already talked to them about it and they want you here, too."

You raised your eyebrows, "Well, if you're sure it'll make you the happiest man in the world, I'll think about it."

"You already make me the happiest man in the world, but I needed something to convince you." he rested his head on your chest again as you laughed.

'So find someone great, but don't find no one better. I hope you're happy, but don't be happier.'

"Are we ordering pizza?" Harrison yawned from beside you on the couch.

"Sushi?" you grinned hopefully.

Tuwaine shook his head, "We had sushi last night."

"Tom and I are making dinner for you guys!" Nadia reminded you from the kitchen.

Her arms wrapped around Tom's waist as he stirred whatever was in the pan he had on the stove.

You really hated their open floor layout at that moment since there wasn't a wall to block them from your view.

"Oh, yeah. What're you making?" Sam asked.

"Salmon with rice and steamed veggies." Tom answered without looking up from the pan.

Everyone made noises of realization as you turned to Harry, "Aliens or a tiger. Which do you think you could beat in a fight?" he asked.

You laughed before replying, "Hmm, depends. Are the aliens small or—"

"Tommy!" you heard a girly giggle and turned to see Tom with Nadia over his shoulder as they laughed and ran around the kitchen.

You quickly diverted your gaze to the coffee table. Forgetting about Harry's absurd question. All eyes were on you.

"What?" you asked when you finally looked up at your friends.

"Are you okay?" Harrison frowned from beside you before resting his head on your shoulder.

You let out a dry, quiet laugh, "Of course. As long as he's happy."

The looks of pity you received were almost as painful as the scene you witnessed moments ago.

'And do you tell her she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen? An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean,'

"Premiere day!" Zendaya walked into your shared hotel room with a bright smile, Nadia following behind her.

You faked a smile as you applied another coat of mascara, "You girls look gorgeous."

Zendaya was in a red and black sequin gown. Hair down and heels on. Nadia was dressed in a maroon silk dress with a slit on the side. Black heels dawning her feet. Both had makeup and accessories on matching their attire.

You were in an emerald green gown with a slit running down your left leg. Silver heels and silver jewellery to match.

"So do you!" Nadia exclaimed as she sat on Zendaya's bed.

"Are the boys coming soo—" Zendaya got cut off by three loud knocks on the door.

"I'll get it!" Nadia jumped up and opened the door.

Tom was stood before her in a maroon suit. Matching her dress. Black dress shoes. Matching her heels. Glasses on and a bright smile.

You watched as Tom ran his eyes down Nadia's outfit, "Well, aren't you just the most beautiful girl in the world?" he planted a kiss on her lips as you witnessed with envy.

"Aw, Tommy. I love you."

"I love you more, darling." he grinned before looking behind her.

Heart wrenching pain struck you again.

You watched as his mouth fell open by the slightest bit. Eyes growing wider.

He quickly snapped out of his daze, placing a pearly white smile on, "You two look absolutely stunning."

You acknowledged his compliment with a curt nod.

Zendaya let out a laugh, "Yup. About to out do you at your own premiere."

'Remember when I believed you meant it when you said it first to me?'

"Green or white?" you held up both dresses against your body.

Tom looked up from his phone, "Both of them will look amazing on you, love."

You sighed, "I appreciate the compliment, but I am meeting Sebastian Stan tonight. Now is not the time for indecisiveness. One of them will make me look bad and I need to know which one."

The Infinity War premiere was in two hours and your anxiety was growing by the minute.

"C'mere." he motioned you towards him with a 'come hither' gesture as he sat on the edge of the hotel bed. You made your way towards him. Standing in between his legs as he wrapped his arms around your waist, "You are the most beautiful girl in the world. Absolutely gorgeous. You could make the ugliest dress look like something from a fairytale."

Your smile grew as he kissed your stomach, "Thank you, mi amor." you bent down and placed a peck on his forehead, leaning your head against his, you whispered, "Now, green or white?"

He chuckled and pecked your lips, "White."

You smiled before making your way to put on the white dress, "I love you."

"I love you more, darling."

'And now I'm picking her apart. Like cutting her down will make you miss my wretched heart. But she's beautiful, she looks kind. She probably gives you butterflies.'

"I don't like her." you murmured.

Zendaya chuckled, "Nadia? You barely know the girl."

You nodded, "And I don't like her. I don't like her giggles and her nickname for him. I don't like her hair."

You knew you were looking for things to dislike, but there weren't any. She was a fan of your music, she complimented you all the time. She was genuinely a great person.

She sighed, "No, you don't like the fact that she's dating Tom. If she wasn't, you wouldn't be saying any of this."

You rolled your eyes and glared at her, "Can you let me be angry?"

She laid herself down on your mattress, "Nope. If you wanna be angry, be angry at Tom. Nadia hasn't done anything to you. You're better than this."

"God, I hate your optimistic side sometimes." you threw a pillow at her.

She laughed, "One of us needs to be the optimist."

You sighed, "Do you think he misses me?"

"Yes." she replied without hesitation.

You sat up and furrowed your eyebrows, "What makes you say that?"

She let out a long breath, "You need to talk to him about that."

'I hope you're happy. I wish you all the best, really. Say you love her, baby. Just not like you loved me. And think of me fondly when your hands are on her. I hope you're happy, but don't be happier.'

"And you're dead." you dropped the controller on your lap as you defeated Harrison in Super Smash Bros again.

He huffed like a child, "Unfair. I taught you how to play, how'd you get better than me?"

"Actually, I taught her how to play. And I am ten times better than you." Tuwaine corrected him.

Harrison scoffed, "Whatever. Sweaty nerds, the both of you."

Nadia spoke up from Tom's lap, "Can I try?"

You nodded, "Who do you wanna go against?"

She chuckled, "I think I'll verse Harrison. Seeing as how Y/N just kicked your ass, I wanna at least have a chance."

Her comment made you laugh as you handed her the controller and watched them pick their characters. You watched as Tom set his phone down and focused on the screen where his girlfriend chose Pichu.

"Choose Kirby." Tom told her.

She furrowed her eyebrows, "Why? Pichu is so cute."

"Y/N always plays as Kirby and she always wins. With that stupid power absorbing ability." he chuckled as his eyes landed on you.

You felt your heart skip a beat at the small detail he remembered before you played it off with a light laugh, "Not my fault you thought Luigi could beat Kirby everytime we played."

'Ooo-ooo, ooo-ooo, ooo-ooo,'

You pressed on the keys of the piano in the boys' home. Singing your heart out. You still had your spare key and Harrison told you no one was home.

You were waiting for them to return from golfing so you could have your Sunday night dinners. It's been nearly four months since your breakup with Tom. Your album was due to be released on May twenty-first and you were letting the still evident pain fuel your lyrics.

"I hope you're happy, just not like how you were with me. I'm selfish, I know. I can't let you go. So find someone great, but don't find no one better. I hope you're happy, but don't be happier." you faded out the piano and pressed stop on the recording on your phone.

Writing down small notes about the song and things to tweak, your thoughts were quickly interrupted.

"I'm not."

Your head snapped up. Tom was leaning against the doorframe behind you. Tears escaping his eyes.

"T-Tom. I'm sorry. Haz told me the house was empty and I just started playing and- Wait. What did you say?" realization dawned on you.

He stepped closer and sat beside you on the piano bench, "I'm not happier. Hell, I'm not even happy." he gave a pathetic attempt at a laugh, staring straight at the black and white keys.

Your mind was trying to catch up with everything happening, trying to register his words, the state he was in. Grey sweats, black tee. Messy hair and red eyes.

"Why?"

He released a heavy sigh, "There's so many things you could be asking 'why' about. Why did I break up with you? Why am I with Nadia? Why am I not happy? Why the hell am I crying? Which one is it, Y/L/N?"

You blinked a few times, "All of them."

He sniffled and rubbed his face, "I felt like I was holding you back." he started, catching a glimpse of your confused expression, he continued, "You hadn't released any music in over year. There were so many articles saying that I was the reason that the biggest pop star in the world was quitting music. I didn't want to be the reason for that."

"You weren't and you aren't." you assured him.

He shrugged, "I just felt like you would do a lot better without me. And you are. Look at you, your fifth album is coming out next month." he nudged you with his shoulder, "I'm proud of you," he smiled.

"T-thank you."

He nodded, "Anyways, why am I with Nadia? Um, a few days after we broke up, I went to a friend's place to distract myself, as one does. She was there. She was a distraction. I never meant for it to get this far. You know, she actually asked me to be her boyfriend." he chuckled dryly to himself as you listened intently. "I guess, I thought it'd be easier to move on if I had something else to pour my love into?"

You nodded slowly, "Okay, I somewhat get that. So you really do love her?"

He quickly shook his head, "No, no, I don't. I mean, I can't. No one can truly love two people at once. And I think that answers the question of why I'm not happy." he paused and faced you completely, "I'm crying because hearing that song and hearing how evident your pain in it is, that will make anyone cry. I'm crying because I miss you and I miss us. I-I miss what we had and what we were. I miss your kisses and your stupid jokes that only you laugh at. I miss going on walks with you and Tess. I just miss you."

There was a long period of silence after his confession. You were trying to process all the information he was giving. He was cursing himself for being so straightforward. The longer it went without a response from you, the more anxious he got. He grabbed your hands, holding them to his lips.

"Please say something. Anything."

Déjà vu.

You swallowed, "You want honesty?" he nodded, "Okay, I was so mad at you. I-I was infuriated. Y-you told me you weren't ready to give a hundred percent of yourself and that you couldn't be in a relationship until you could give all of yourself to that person. Then a month later, you're with her. Making me feel like you just couldn't give yourself to me." you paused and shook your head, "You could've told me the truth. You should've told me the truth. We could've talked about it. We could've avoided months of awkward run ins and no communication." he nodded, still holding your hands in his, "I'm not gonna lie and say I don't miss you because I do, I miss you more than anything, but we shouldn't be doing this or saying these things while you're with her." you removed your hands from his.

He spent a moment looking down at his fingers. Releasing short breaths. "I don't want to be with her."

"But you are. And I don't want you to break up with her for me. Because that's not how things work, Tom. But you shouldn't stay with her either. Especially if this is how you're feeling. That's just unfair to her." you shook your head and felt your mind clear.

He nodded and met your gaze, "This is the end of us, huh?"

You shook your head, "I don't think there will ever be an end to us." you laughed dryly.

He agreed with a smile, "For forever and a day, remember?"

You nodded, "For forever and a day."

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usernoneexistent · 2 years

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A/N: In ‘tales of the unexpected’ Winona gets caught being an accomplice in one of Sethel’s prank by her brother (which you can read here). So she conducts a plan to get back at Glenn which includes swooning their rival, Nolan Miller. Thanks to @cursebreakerfarrier for hosting this challenge.

Character featured: Victoria Summer @whatwouldvalerydo and Nolan Miller @hogwartsmysteryho.

Characters mentioned: Selene Fraser & Alan, Professor Figgs @lifeofkaze, Ethel Hexley @the-al-chemist, Oliver Gerard @kc-and-co, Professor Herron @cursebreakerfarrier.

Warnings: mentions of Sethel, dumb and impulsive decisions.

"Winona!" As her name was cried out in the cosy Gryffindor common room, the girl sank deeper into the lounge, knowing it signified trouble. Her kneazle, Emma was curled up in her arms. A shadow loomed over her as she finally looked up to see the caller of her name.

"Hello, my dear brother," putting on an obliviousness, Winona sat up properly to face Glenn.

"I'm not in the mood to play games, dear sister," he scolded. "I know it was you who told Hexley and Fraser where my soap was placed."

Oh dear, Winona had really gotten herself in a pit of trouble this time. Putting on her best act, she batted her eyelashes innocently, "I have no idea what you are referring to, Glenn—telling Ethel and Selene where your bar of soap was? Preposterous! I did no such thing!"

Glenn's stiffened his face, letting no emotion revealed upon his sister. He didn't buy the act. In fact, she instead admitted her guilt. The crime, simply answering a harmless question by Selene and Ethel, led to the most extraordinary transformation that Winona had ever witnessed in her fifteen years of living. The Gryffindor prefect walked in and sported bright, magnolia pink hair. He was made the laughing stock for days amongst everyone while simultaneously Selene and Ethel were the talk at Hogwarts to pull off such a defeat though their glory was short-lived. Glenn seemed to take this a little more personal this time, tracking all culprits one by one directly involved and indirectly through the past couple of weeks with detention.

"I'm telling mother about this, and we shall see how she responds," Glenn threatened.

"Fine, I did tell them where your soap was. Is this what you want me to say? However, don't tell mama that." Winona stood up, holding firmly onto Emma, ready to storm off and whine to her closest friend, Victoria, how unfair and ridiculous Glenn was.

"Your detention is to polish the silver for two weeks alongside Hexley and Fraser starting tomorrow. Consider this me being generous." With a tall stride, he walked away from Winona while he fixed the tie of a first year with the flick of his wand. She stuck out her tongue behind his back. Emma seemed tired of being held in Winona's arms and jumped to follow Selene's ferret Alan to play with him.

"Come on, Emma. Now you?"

-oOo-

Winona avoided Glenn at dinner, who was with Oliver Gerard, his closet and probably only male companionship. She was thankful for it; otherwise, she would have argued with him. A lot.

"Can you believe the audacity of my brother!" Winona started, taking a deep and dramatic sigh. " Giving me detention, his dear little sister!"

Her best friend, Victoria Summer, who was graced with patience, had to endure the dramatic retelling of how Winona got punished by her brother. However, Victoria knew that Winona had a tendency to go big and over-exaggerate the details.

"You know, Winona...I don't blame Glenn for reacting the way he is." Her tone her soft but firm. Victoria had this way of making one feel guilty without raising her voice in anger within mere seconds. "If I were him, I too would be upset to find out that my own sister would assist in such a horrendous prank. Poor Professor Herron, Professor Figgs and the grounds keeper had to clean up the mess and it took two weeks for the pink colour to be removed from Glenn's hair."

"Come on, Vicky. You are meant to be on my side." Winona played with her food, still angry about her brother. She looked behind Victoria and made the unfortunate mistake of catching the eye of a Nolan Miller at the Ravenclaw table. In the most unladylike behaviour, she stuck her tongue out. Nolan pulled a face back, being very gentlemen like of him. She couldn't stand Nolan and found he was as much of an arrogant composition of flesh and bones as her brother. Nolan would always try and beat Winona's test grades, using her to get back at Glenn due to the year gap between the two boys. So in Glenn's stead, she usually studied harder to beat Nolan's grades. Unfortunately, they mainly even out their grade averages, but Glenn would consistently rank higher than the two combined. Most of the time, anyhow.

The thought of Glenn alone seemed to rise anger in her, though another thought intruded. It was devious but Winona held onto the thought a little longer. She almost laughed at how ridiculous it was, but it would be insane enough to pull it off. The only and most genuine way to get back at her dear brother. But she would need Nolan for it to work.

Victoria turned to see who Winona was staring at. "Oh, Winona. You have got to stop this frivolous rivalry with Nolan."

"Actually, I was thinking of making amends with Nolan."

"Really?! It didn't look like that from my view."

"Well, I've decided that I'm going to make amends and end this pointless feud." Victoria was surprised but was happy nevertheless by Winona's decision.

Throughout September, Winona had made a conscious effort on her appearance and actions around Nolan. While they argued back and forth with witty remarks, she tried to be less harsh. Even though it made her sick to her stomach, she had congratulated him on his better test score in defence against the dark arts. During detention, she had used that time to think of further ideas on how to make advances toward the Ravenclaw. She had even gone as far as to ask Euphemia Macnair for flirting advice which turned out to be a primarily fruitless endeavour from the naturally shy Slytherin. Still, she had been able to provide some helpful books on swooning a man. Winona did as it said; she dropped her handkerchief several times in Nolan's presence and stole more not-so-secret glances. Over time, Nolan's responses softened and were more courteous than previously before.

Finally, Winona snuck off to the astronomy tower in early October at one in the morning. Her favourite place in all of Hogwarts is to observe the stars of Orion, Polaris and her favourite Vega. The tower had a strangely calming effect on Winona. It was a place to gather her thoughts with a quill and parchment, where she wrote her articles for the school newspaper. Still, tonight she would write something different, something she had read but never written. A love letter. The receiver would be Nolan Miller. If things go well and he falls for her, it would mean she has achieved the first part of her plan.

The quill scratched on the parchment. Winona carefully curved the letters and thought of the right words to say. It would be best to come across as a secret admirer, praise him and inflate his ego.

Dear Nolan,

I have a simple confession to make. I have been observing you since the Summer. You may not have realised, but anytime you walked past me, stolen a glance or even merely daydreaming about you, it made my heart leap like a frog hopping on a lily pad. You consume my thoughts day and night, and how I wish I could be nearer to you, of your brilliant mind and extensive knowledge. It took me a lot of courage to finally pour out these deep affections I hold for you. However, I believe a letter would not be enough to describe in every single way how I yearn for you and your affections. I would like to propose that we could arrange a meeting at the beech tree by the Great Lake on the morning of this Saturday. I must confess again that some of me are selfish, and I wish to see if you would reciprocate my sentiments. However, I would still die happy tomorrow if I am able to express to you in person even if you don't share my affections.

Of the deepest of my sincerities,

Your secret admirer

Winona looked out from the open window of the tower and aimed the folded letter shaped like a bird at the Ravenclaw tower. The letter swooped through an open window with a flick of the wand and a gust of wind. She prayed for it to be sent to the right window but wrote To Nolan clearly so it could be sent properly. If someone else found it, then at the very least, she hoped they were kind enough to give it to him. All she can do is wait for him tomorrow.

-oOo-

She was too nervous to the point of regret. Her stomach twisted and churned as time passed slowly. Winona paced up and down from the beech tree to the edges of the lake, allowing the tips of her recently shined boots to touch the body of water. She had contemplated multiple times if she should back down and pretend like it was a horrible joke gone wrong. Though despite the nerves, Winona was not one to easily back down, so she persevered. No, Glenn needed to suffer like he made her suffer by manually cleaning the Prefect bathroom for almost a month.

"Winona Rosewood?" She nearly jumped out of fright. The Gryffindor girl had not paid enough attention to her surroundings and noted the approaching figure. Nolan had arrived with her letter held in hand. "What are you doing here so early?"

She took a deep breath, masking her best shy face. "Well, I was waiting for you, Nolan."

Nolan's eyes squinted before widening as he came to a quick realisation.

"You are my secret admirer?!"

"I am embarrassed to admit it but...yes," Purposefully, she looked away. "It was a painful realisation as I once thought I detested you but only to uncover to my surprise that I actually do harbour tender affections for you."

"Well, this explains a lot. I was wondering why you had such a sudden change in heart towards me." His arms crossed but held on tightly to the letter. He didn't seem angry or upset with her, which was a good sign in her mind but he didn't seem as warm as she had liked.

"I know it must be a surprise to you but..." Winona continued on her best act. "Would you still be interested in courting me despite our past?"

There was a pregnant pause. Winona felt her blood pumping in her ears. Never had she been so nervous, not even during her tests, had she been so scared at this very moment. Nolan contemplated her offer, but some hope bloomed within her when she noticed his mischievous smile.

"Sure."

"Really?!" It came out more eagerly than anticipated as a faint smile widened. While the confession and acceptance weren't precisely what Winona had thought. Her only references were her Jane Austen novels and her half-brother, Colin telling her of his love declaration to Euphemia. It was certainly better than she had thought. "Well, we ought to arrange a meeting soon. To get to know each other better since we are courting now."

"How about tomorrow?" Nolan suggested. "We could take a walk around Hogsmeade."

"Sounds like a date then."

They walked back to Hogwarts castle together. They stuck to small chatter, but Winona couldn't help but keep her smile on. While the most challenging part of her plan to get back at Glenn was complete, it was time for the easiest part. She just needed the right person to spread some rumours at Hogwarts and she just knew the right one.

#back to school challenge 2022 #winona rosewood #glenn rosewood #nolan miller #sethel #victoria summer #euphemia macnair #hogwarts legacy #hphl ocs

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mysticalrambling · 3 years

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Hey there😄😄I hope you are doing well...You did my last request so fabulously🤩🤩So I'm back with another request😅😅It's another arranged marriage request and I think its the most bizarre request I ever had so please be patient with me😂😂 and you can decline the request if you don't feel so😅😅...Ok so here it goes..

*Steve and y/n are required to get married under the marriage law, he doesn't wants to but being the good soldier he obeys the government....they get married but steve is cold towards his wife...his teammates tell him to give his marriage a chance but he ignores them...Then the accords happen and without a care he leaves his wife behind who is heartbroken seeing all this..Then after 2 years he sees her but again he feels nothing but after the snap when he saw losses around him and he gives his marriage a second chance, he starts being civil to his wife and cares for her but they never consumated their marriage...When the time heist becomes successful Steve consumates his marriage with the reader out of happiness and she thinks all is well...Everyone returns from snap and no one dies...But steve returns the stones and stays in the past and old steve comes back.... Heartbroken Y/n refuses to meet him and leaves the compound...turns out she was pregnant with Steve's baby and doesn't wants the old steve to know so...One day old steve sees pregnant y/n who is around 7 months pregnant and realises its his baby, he apologizes but she ignores and turn away from him... He goes to get help from Scott bcz he wants to be with his wife and son now bcz he and Peggy couldn't have kids, everyone thought steve was selfish...But then he tells the truth that he never wanted to stay in past, but when he went to say goodbye to peggy, she abducted him and broke the timetravel apparatus and forced him to stay in the past...Young Steve comes back and now his son is born who is around 8 months old...He attempts to get back with his family but his wife still ignores him and doesn't let him come near her or her son...Steve regrets for not loving his wife in the past and also volunteering for returning the stones...Then one day powerbroker (Sharon) blasts the house where steve's family lived thus killing his family, in way to revenge her aunty peggy...Steve is left with nothing but pain and regret....*

Regretting His Decisions (S.R)

A/N: Thank you so much lovely and I loved the plot line. I loved writing about it and I made a few additions to the story. Hope you like it.

Steve Rogers Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Summary: You and Steve get married and he is really rude to you. Then he leaves you behind and goes back to Peggy but he doesn’t realise that you are pregnant. However, Sharon kills you and the baby to avenge her Aunt Peggy and Steve is left with nothing but pain and regret.

Warnings: Angst all the way.

._._._._.

Steve never wanted to marry you or anyone else for that matter. But the government wanted it and like a good Captain, he listened to them. It was the stupid law and he wanted to wring the neck of those who made it. The protectors of the world had to get married so that the world sees them as fellow citizens instead of humans with super powers.

All the Avengers knew that Steve was hesitant to get married and he was doing out of duty. They knew that it was unfair but they all had met you. They all loved you instantly and knew that you and Steve would hit it off. However, the only problem was that he refused to meet you. The only thing that he knew about you was your name and your job occupation. Apparently, it wasn’t worth his time to get to know his to be wife.

“You need to give it a proper chance before you form an opinion.” It was the night of your bachelor party and while everyone is blackout drunk, Steve and Tony just sat on the side couch. For a person who was getting married tomorrow, Steve looked miserable and Tony couldn’t help but interfere.

“I am doing my job and that’s all that matters.” Taking a quick sip from his glass, he didn’t even wince at the liquid burning his throat.

Sighing, Tony filled up his glass again. A drunk Steve was better than a sober one, in his opinion. “A marriage is not a job and you need to try harder.”

“You don’t get to have an opinion, Tony. You got the perfect girl and the perfect wedding.” Jealousy coursed through his veins when he realised that everyone got to be with the love of their loves while he was stuck with someone who he barely knew.

Tony was left speechless and before he could come up with a response, Steve got up from his place and made his way towards his room. Calling it a night, he dreaded the next morning. He was happy for all of his friends but he also wanted to fall in love over first coffee dates, first movie nights, the first kiss and the moment he proposed because he loved you. Not because he was obligated too.

“You ready, Stevie?” Bucky was trying to be supportive but the headache was killing him. The tequila was literally seeping out of his pores. “How are you not hungover right now?”

“I didn’t drink like a maniac last night.” Adjusting his bow tie, he took a deep breath. This was the most difficult thing that he was going to do in his life and he just wanted to be left alone for sometime. “Can I have a moment alone?”

“Are you going to run if we leave you alone?”

“I am not a quitter and you all know that.” They all filed out of the room and he just sat down on the sofa and gave himself a prep talk.

You were no better on the other hand but you were ready to give it a try. Captain America was a good man and he would make a good husband. At least, that’s what you thought. You understood that the marriage was not happening under the best of circumstances but you could give it a fair chance. Taking a deep breath, you went to join your father on the doorway. He gave you a tearful smile and linked his hands with you.

“Do you take Steve Rogers as your lawfully wedded husband?” The minister asked the much awaited question and you quietly responded with an ‘I do’. During the whole ceremony, you wanted him to look at you but his eyes kept wandering. You passed it off as nerves but little did you know that he was so repulsed by the idea of this marriage that he refused to look at his wife to be.

“You guys are finally married. Treat her well, Rogers.” Fury took you both in a bear hug while your husband just hummed in response. You were like a daughter to Fury and that is why he recommended you as Steve’s spouse. He knew that Steve was an honorable man so he would fulfill all his duties as a husband.

The whole night was spent with you both smiling and engaging in conversations with the guests. However, you both made minimum effort to talk to each other except a few stolen glances. Your feet were killing you by the end of the event but you were never the one to complain. A look of relief appeared on your face when Steve announced an end to the event and thanked everyone for coming.

“Come on.” Hurriedly meeting his steps, you sat in to the passenger seat and those were the last words that were exchanged between you. When you entered the house, he took you straight to a guest room and then left. Whatever expectations that you had for tonight were crushed and so you went to bed with tears in your eyes and your wedding dress still on you.

During the next few weeks, Steve didn’t even glance at you but whenever you made an effort to do something nice for him, he shot you off. He was not willing to give it a chance and for the first few times that you made him dinner, he just picked it up and threw it in to the trash. You were never allowed in to his room and you learned it the hard way.

One day, you just wanted to put his laundry in to his room because he was not home yet. What was the harm? But boy, were you wrong. He came home early that day and he bursted at you the moment he saw you in his room. He called you some very mean things that you do not even want to recall. That night, you cried so much that your entire pillow was soaked but you didn’t want to leave him. You were in love with him way before you were married. He was the guy who saved the world and he was a good and an ethical man. Maybe he wasn’t nice to you but he was a good man and you couldn’t disagree with that.

It wasn’t that you needed a man in your life or you were dependent on him. It was that you had feelings for the man and your parents never raised you to be a quitter. You were still hoping that it all may be alright in a few days or weeks and you could have a family together. She knew that she had to be realistic but sometimes a girl wanted hope.

“I won’t be coming home for a few days.” At least he had the courtesy to tell you this time that he was going. "I have asked some of the agents to check up on you daily so if you need anything, just ask them."

"Okay." You quickly dismissed his questioning stare because he thought that you would ask questions. However, you knew that he would be rude and you would snap at him this time. A girl could only handle so much.

A week had passed and you got daily updates from Liam and Noah regarding the civil war. You still couldn’t believe that Tony and Steve were fighting because you witnessed their friendship firsthand. They had just informed you that Steve and his team were arrested by the government and shipped off to a black sight. You wanted to go to Fury and ask him to release all of them but Liam told you that it wouldn’t work. It was out of his hands.

“What do you mean?” You couldn’t believe your ears right now. Fury came by your house instead of Liam and Noah. He informed you that Chris and the other Avengers escaped from the prison and no one knows their location. Hurt was one of the most evident feeling running through your body and you didn’t know how to respond. How could he leave without telling you anything? How could he just leave?

“There will be some investigations on you but it would be nothing serious.”

“Why?” You exclaimed.

“The government is convinced that you know their location. It will blow over in sometime.”

“I am not going to sacrifice my freedom for someone who wasn’t even bothered to tell me about all this.” The hurt quickly turned into rage.

“But (Y/N)-”

“Tell all of them that I will not be doing anything and that you all should leave me alone.” You stood up and Fury took it as his cue.

Closing the door, you don’t let yourself ponder over the throbbing ache in your chest and instead get to packing. You were going to move out of this house and leave this life in the past. You moved into your parents house and immediately shot down their questions about Steve. There was a bookstore across from a studio apartment that Tony helped you find in the next few days. You loved books and the job paid pretty well. Soon, you forgot all about Steve and your failed marriage. Of course, there were feelings that you had to bury deep inside of you but you successfully managed to move on with your life.

“Have you heard, munchkin? Cap is back.” Tony shuffled your hair as he entered the library.. Pausing for a minute to absorb his words, you got right back into arranging the magazine section. It was the last thing that you had to do before you got off for the night.

“I don’t care. Are we still on for the night?”

“Yes. Pepper is cooking for the first time. Just say that you like the food.” From the past two years, Tony has been your person. He was the one who ordered you food when you were feeling too low or who massaged your feet when you had feet sores from lugging around books all day. You were thankful to have him in your life because he was not there to support you financially, he was there to support you emotionally. Sometimes, you felt so alone that you thought you might go into depression. But he was there to pull you back and so was Pepper. They were your family.

“Okay, Tony. I already know.” Quite a few things have changed over the years such as you changing your hair color to low lights and getting bangs. You changed your sense of style and. now you were pretty much unrecognizable. It was all in hope of leaving the past and turning over a new leaf. And you were somewhat successful.

“So how was the food?”

“Awesome!” The fake, shrill voice was hard to recognise, even for you but you didn’t want to hurt Pepper’s feelings.

“I know it was not good so I ordered some pizza as a back up.”

“I love you.” A chorus sounded from Tony and you as you both hugged her and kissed her on either cheek.

“Yeah, yeah.” She quickly dismissed you both but the cheeky grin on her face was hard to hide. You called it a night when you started feeling sleepy and you said your goodbyes. Your apartment was only two blocks away so you decided to take a walk to clear your head. Steve had been on your mind since the time Tony mentioned that he was back. As much as you wanted to believe that his arrival didn’t effect you, you couldn’t deny all the feelings that came rushing back in.

“Robbins Library, how may I help you?” Without looking up, you asked the question in a fake, chirpy voice.

“Why are you not at the house?” The voice startled you from your receipt checking and you gave him a confused look. As you had time to process the question, you looked over his appearance. More muscular and a fully grown beard was an interesting look and definitely suited him.

“Well, it was not mine to begin with.”

“I left you that house so you would be comfortable.”

“I am doing just fine without it. You know, I didn’t need anything from you but love and respect.”

Steve was trying to do something nice for you but he didn’t understand you. He felt nothing towards you even if he tried. Guilt coursed through him when he saw the look of hurt on your face but he couldn’t do anything about it. “That is too much.”

“Well, I deserve it and I am not going to settle for anything less.” This time, the brain won the battle and you were secretly glad. You resumed your work and he left without saying another word.

The city was in chaos in a few days because there was an alien invasion in place. The Avengers were all over the problem but Pepper and you were panicked. However, the only difference was that she could ask about Tony’s whereabouts and you couldn’t do that for your husband. There were no updates for you and when Noah came to get you both with a battered suit, you were worried.

Walking towards the tower, you realised that many people were crying but the most important thing was that it looked like half of the population was gone. There were a lot of things that you didn’t understand right now but only one thing mattered. One person. Steve. You ran towards the tower and when you saw him sitting on a chair with his head in his hands.

“What happened?” The logical part of your brain started working right on time.

“We couldn’t prevent the snap and Thor escaped.”

You didn’t know what it all meant but it was definitely something bad. “So what does it mean?”

“It means that half of the human population have disappeared. It means that half of our friends, families, loved ones have disappeared. It means that I have failed!”

“Why are you getting angry at me?”

“Just leave me alone.”

“Do not speak to me like that. I do not deserve it. When you are in the right frame of mind, come talk to me.” You were not the person that suffered silently. You were the person who knew. what she wanted and how she should be treated.

Going outside, you called your parents but it just went to voicemail. However, busy they might have been, they always picked up their phone. So you knew that they were gone too. You were alone in this world and you didn’t know what to do. In the far distance, you saw Tony and Pepper hugging and you were happy to see that your best friend was not gone.

With tears running down your eyes, you turned back and collided into a firm chest. Looking up, you saw Steve and you just wanted someone to be with you right now. That’s what Steve also wanted because he felt like a failure right now. He wanted to give the marriage another chance as he thought that it was a miracle that you both were still here after the snap. It was not fair on you but he just needed someone and so did you. It was a fair trade.

“I just don’t want to be alone right now, Steve.”

“Me too. Let’s go upstairs.” You both just silently hugged each other and kept staring out into the Manhattan skyline. You knew that he didn’t have any feelings towards you and you cared about that. But not today. Today, you wanted to just lie down and soak up in his presence because he was the only one left for you.

He brought you breakfast in bed the next morning and he took you to all the meetings. You were confused as to why he was doing all of it and when you asked him, his answer was ‘I am trying’. You didn’t get your hopes high because you knew that it would be pathetic. This was going to be temporary and you just knew it. However, you just wanted a companion so you rolled with the situation.

“We can work around quantum physics and get all of our friends back.” He informed you over the ice cream that you were sharing. A Netflix movie ran in the background because it was a Saturday and it was a routine for you both.

“That’s a really good thing.”

“We are going to do it tomorrow.”

“Nice. I am going to bed. Are you coming?” He mumbled out a small yes and picked up all the dishes to put them in the sink.

The whole day tomorrow you clinged by your phone and called your parent’s number after every fifteen minutes. You looked crazy by the end of the day but when they finally picked up, you couldn’t explain the joy that coursed through your whole body. Talking to them for hours, you promised that you would visit them and you cancelled the call.

Steve came back with a bottle of wine in his hands to celebrate. “We were successful. The world is saved. Cheers!”

“Cheers!” Both your happiness knew no bounds and after a few many glasses, you both were dancing to Taylor Swift songs. By the end of the night, you two were truly drunk and one thing led to another. You woke up the next morning with sheets wrapped around your frame and the pillow beside you crumpled but cold. You regretted the night so much because you knew that he did not have the same feelings for you.

The whole day, you spent cleaning the apartment as there were empty bottles of alcohol laying around. Then you went to the library and today was a busy day because many people wanted an update for the past five years of their lives. It kept you distracted from everything and when Tony came in, it was like the past repeating itself. He told you that Steve went to place the stones back but he came back as old.

You stopped listening to him after sometime as your mind tried to process what was happening. He betrayed you. Again. You were preparing yourself for the hurt whole day but this was totally unexpected. You knew what to do so it was a good thing. Detach yourself from the situation and do damage control. That was your motto for the next seven months and you refused to meet him even after you found out you were pregnant.

“You are in the mood of some ice cream with pickles, hmm little bean?” Rubbing your round belly, you walked towards the snacks aisle. The flavored pickle was on the top shelf but it was out of your reach. A wrinkly hand from behind picked up the jar and when you turned around to thank him, your voice was stuck in your throat. There stood your husband but the older version. The wrinkled face still held some similarities to the young captain but he had a slight hunch and grey hair.

“(Y/N), is that you? Are you- You are pregnant?” The question in his eyes was pretty evident.

“Seven months.” You curtly spoke and wheeled the trolly towards the check out. He quickly figured out the timeline and felt guilty. It was his baby and he left you alone. He caught up to you when you were bagging the groceries.

“I am sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t know. If I could change everything, I would. Please give me another chance.”

“You chose Peggy so you don’t get to come back in my life. Leave us alone. It would be a favor for this child if he never gets to know you.” Telling him off made you feel a whole lot better and you went towards your car.

Seeing you leave, Steve knew that he had to make things right. He went to the compound where all the Avengers were lounging around.

“I thought you had retired, Cap.” Peter called out from playing his video game with Bucky.

“I want your help, Scott. I want to go back to my old self.”

“Why, Captain? Got bored of the grandfather look?” Tony asked while stuffing his mouth with buttered popcorn.

“No. I just found out that my wife is pregnant and I want to be there for them.”

“That’s sweet but why? You already had your chance with Peggy.” Natasha wasn’t very happy with Steve right now but they all had the same question running through their minds.

“Peggy and I couldn’t have kids.”

“So you are using (Y/N) and this kid as a replacement. That’s just selfish, Steve.” Everyone gave him a disgusted look because they couldn’t believe that he was just using you and the child to fill a hole in his life. Not because he loved you both.

“That’s not true. I didn’t want to stay in the past with Peggy but she forced me to. She broke the time machine apparatus and I had no other choice but to accept that life.” He looked at all of them and saw that they all were listening to him. “I made a time machine the whole time I was there and when it was complete, I got the hell out of there.”

“Oh, Steve. We are so sorry. Of course, we will all help you.” Hugging him tight, Nat spoke on behalf of all the others. The machine was all ready to go so Steve stood in the middle of it with Scott. They had to go back and fixed the machine’s timing and it would take some months to do all that.

Meanwhile, you got back home and unpacked all the groceries. Your hormones were running wild at the moment as you sat on the sofa with your swollen feet on the coffee table. You wanted a companion sometimes who would massage your back or who would call you pretty when you were feeling insecure about yourself or who would bring you food at four a.m. But this was a dream and you gave up on it a long time ago. You were enough for your baby and that was a fact.

When Steve came back, 10 months had passed by. You had given birth to a beautiful baby boy after a 21 hour labour. You cried and even though you had your mom with you, you still called out for Steve. You wanted him with you and afterwards, when you held that boy in your hand, you wanted Steve to be there with you to enjoy the moment. However, it was the last time his name even came out of your month.

“Oliver, you need to eat, bubba.” The last 8 months have been a rollercoaster ride for you and you knew through Tony and Pepper that Steve had gone back in time. You didn’t bother with the details because you had another human being to worry about.

“Nooooo.” This one word was the kid’s favorite and everyone of his sentence started with it. You were interrupted in the middle by the doorbell. Picking up your child from the high chair, you made your way through the house towards the door.

“What are you doing here?” Steve looked the same age as you so you knew that the time machine trip was successful. But you saw red. He didn’t deserve you or Oliver.

“(Y/N), is- is that him?” The blubbering baby did not even pay attention to his father and kept on pulling your hair. He was an exact replica of Steve from the dirty blonde hair to the charming smile. A literal reminder for you but you loved this little boy to death.

“Yes and now go away. We don’t need you.” Looking at the baby, he regretted the day he made the decision to be the one to return the stones. He regretted the fact that he did not allow himself to love you. He regretted everything. “Do not come near us. Goodbye.”

You went on with your week as per usual with feeding Ollie in the morning and taking him to the library with you where he had his own play pen. Then getting light lunch across the street and coming back home to take a nap for a few hours. Afterwards, you both ate dinner while Oliver’s favorite cartoons played on the tv. Except for the fact that Steve was at your house, your job and your cafe from the day he came back. He tried to apologize but the years that you spent in agony was too much. It was too little, too late.

It was a Sunday afternoon and by some miracle, Steve had left you alone. He had a meeting with the other Avengers regarding Asgard today. You were just playing with Oliver on his mat as he tried to crawl towards the stuffed toys in your hands. Before you picked him up, you thought that you smelt gas. However, a loud explosion threw you in to the nearest wall and you knew that your time was here. During the last few breaths, you tried to find Oliver but you couldn’t move. Mentally calling out for Steve, your gaze became unfocused and you lost conscious.

“Wha-What happened?” Steve knew that there was a bomb blast and he wanted to hope against all hope that you both were safe. However, the two body bags wheeled out of the burnt down house had him fall to his knees.

“There was an explosion and we caught Agent Sharon fleeing the scene.”

Sharon had confessed that she wanted to have revenge on Steve for cheating on her aunt Peggy. The new family that Steve had was a disgrace to her Aunt’s memories so she murdered them. She had gone a little crazy because Peggy was the one who take care of her when she was a child and she felt that Steve betrayed her.

Steve didn’t know what to do with his life at the moment. He was left all alone and his family was snatched away from him. He didn’t get a chance to be with them and now he was left with nothing but pain and regret. Trying to convince Fury to let him go back in time and prevent the explosion was futile because Fury just told him that this would upset the balance of nature. He didn’t understand it at first but then as time passed, he did. All the toys and photos that were salvaged from the house now decorated Steve’s very lonely apartment and he never let himself forget.

This was his punishment and he was not going to run away from it. Not this time.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._.

A/N: I loved writing about Steve but I am no longer taking requests for some days. I actually have some of my drafts that I want to complete. You can send in requests but it will take some days for me to get to them:) Love you guys and do tell me if you want to be added to my taglist.

Taglist: @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile

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sleepylixie · 3 years

Text

3.1k words, Angst, Fluff (Romance), Non-idol AU

Kim Hongjoong X fem! Reader

Inspired by Love you Like Me- William Singe ( Playlist here )

Beware of Profanity, Heavy themes of infidelity, implied sexual activity

The studio was loud, bustling with murmurs and movement, lighting being fidgeted with and artists putting in the final touches to the simple, neutral toned set. A shiver traced down your back as you watched people walk this way and that, preparing everything to be perfect just in time, just before the cameras begin rolling and the star of the show settles in front of the camera-

The steady buzz of your phone in your hand interrupted your train of thought. Took him long enough, you thought to yourself as you watched the name flash across the screen. Hongjoong.

Not a couple of months ago, his contact’s name had been ‘loml’ with a red heart- how quickly things change. You knew he would call you before you were to go on-air, a tradition that he had unfailingly kept alive over the last 3 years. This particular call however, was different. Special.

Because it was going to be the last.

You would miss his calls, you mused as you accepted the call. His smooth, lilting tenor always greeting you with-

“Hello, starlet.”

The amused endearment didn’t make you smile like it used to. You used to shy away from it when you had initially started dating Hongjoong. Over the years, however, you had truly grown into a starlet in your own right so the inside joke was now laced with adoring truth.

“Hello, my love.”

Your voice was soft, mellow, the perfect replication of how you would respond to him in better times. Funny how a relationship you’d valued as much as your career had come down to pretence and secrets-

“Are you ready?”

The real question is, are you ready? The response was heavy on your tongue but you swallowed it down, letting a sardonic smile curl up the edge of your lips as you hummed into the phone, a show of contemplation.

“I think so.”

If only he knew what you were talking about.

“I’m sure you are, you spent so much time in the studios with Chris. Trust yourself, darling. You’re going to do amazing.”

There had been a time when his reassurance would’ve given you enough motivation to rule the world- now though, it felt like nothing but a sham. Pretty, deceptive falsities that he kept up only for the sake of his promise to you. A game of make-believe he seemed to be amusing himself with.

He was going to find out soon enough, you convinced yourself. He was going to find out soon enough that you were no game to be trifled with.

The producer caught your eye, motioning to the set – it was time.

“It’s almost time, I need to go.”

What a glorious double entendre this conversation was.

“Good luck, my love. I’ll be watching the live.”

You hummed again before hanging up, coughing into your hands as you made your way to the set. The producer flashed a smile and thumbs up at you as you took your seat on the stool meant for you.

“We’re going to be live in 3 minutes. Ready?”

Between your makeup artist doing some final touches on your face and the sound technician checking the wires and mic-set for your in-ears, you returned the producer’s thumbs up with a confident smile- more confident than you were truly feeling, you were sure.

“Ready.”

All too soon, the 2 minutes had passed and you were sat alone in front of the camera, nothing but a mic in your hand as the producer did a countdown- Rolling in 3,2,1-

The first strains of the backing track flowed through your in-ears, your grip on the mic tightening as the repetitive, building melody washed over you like the tune of a haunted nursery rhyme. With the melody came the memories, a barrage of feelings tinged angry red and melancholy pink.

After all these years, it seemed your love really had to end the way it began- mic in hand, lyrics at your lips and leaden heart in your chest. This time though, he wasn’t the healing balm, he was the twisted knife itself.

Kim fucking Hongjoong.

“He never calls this late at night, no… But I can tell he’s been drinking all night long.”

The studio was pin-drop silent except for the soft, dragging lilt of your voice. The track Chris had made for you could catch a listener’s attention all too easily- the magic your voice brought with it soon afterwards only served to hook the listeners more.

You remembered slipping into the studio one rainy 2 a.m, scrawled sheets of paper feeling heavy and hot in your pocket. Chris had been rightfully concerned with your deceptively put together appearance, knowing exactly what had brought about the torrent of words you had thrown onto the table.

Chris had always been safe, warm comfort for you- from the days of pulling all-nighters before graduation to the sleepless nights spent recording and producing in your shared studio, your friendship had come a long way.

But you’d shaken your head at him, urging him to look at the sheets. The memory of your pen slicing into the sheets was still burnt onto your fingertips, your vision almost blurring with tears as you scrawled every word that came to mind. Fiery, sensual, vengeful words seared onto the paper, a clear reflection of everything that had silently plagued you every night, every sunset, until you broke.

“He sounds upset, I’m asking baby where you at, I called you earlier but you didn’t call me back…”

You met Hongjoong a little more than 4 years ago in a dive bar- him, the tired university student looking for a break and you, the evening’s entertainment. Your set had been entirely covers of moody love songs, reminiscent of your own sentiments- all you wanted to do was write your own music but it seemed all rookies were destined to be stuck with small gigs and other artists’ music.

But for some reason, this one man with electric blue hair that contrasted- clashed, even, with his formal outfit had approached you after you finished your set. Only when he sidled closer to you did you noticed the paint splatters on his cuffs and the tiny earring dangling against his neck. The first thing he told you was that he had fallen in love with your voice and would love to get you a drink so he could hear it more.

Even in the heartbroken haze you were in, you knew there was something about this odd patch-work quilt of a man with a sparkly smile that you couldn’t shake. Conversation had been uncannily easy after that-

Falling in love with Hongjoong however, hadn’t been a cakewalk by any means.

“He’s breaking down, I’m about to lose it… I’m screaming who the fuck were you with…”

Falling for Hongjoong was walking through fire and hail and ice; it was always expecting the worst out of each other but somehow ending up with the best too; to see each other as flawed humans before possible targets of affection. It took a good part of a year for the both of you to acknowledge any sentiment beyond friendship for each other, even more time to consider dating.

He’d been hesitant at first- so had you. But as Hongjoong murmured to you that fateful evening your relationship began, the thought of not knowing how you’d be together was one he could not digest. Sometimes you wish you hadn’t agreed- but to disagree would’ve been a regretful lie.

Over the years, it had always warmed your heart to have known without a shadow of a doubt that he would walk through all the world’s calamities for your hand in his.

Kim Hongjoong was perfect, after all.

The perfect son of a perfect family, the visual arts graduate with a perfect score, the perfect fit for a job as an art gallery’s curator- Surely, his love was tinted with the same shade of perfection as the rest of him?

You were wrong.

“I grab my keys you better tell me where you at… he said he fucked up but there’s no taking it back...”

Kim Hongjoong was fickle as a wayward breeze where the matters of the heart were concerned. It was easier for him to let people love him, feel the adoration for him rolling off people’s eyes and bodies than be the person to love freely. Love was vulnerability to him, but gods, did he make vulnerability look gorgeous.

Maybe the very reason he began to love you at first was because you didn’t care for his perfection.

His words still echoed in your ears sometimes, especially in nights that were woefully sober or afternoons that were hopelessly unproductive. There had been a time when the only things you remembered of the honeyed rasp was from your best dreams, promising you forever in every day-

Not anymore. All you remembered now was the way he had sounded that night, alcohol and regret mixing badly in his veins, voice rough and stilted and broken as he asked you for forgiveness, for space in your heart despite his mistakes.

“I gave everything to you and this is what you turn around and do…”

You wish you’d never driven to him after his teary confessions, hoping against hope he was pranking you and had only drunk too much to cater to common sense. You wish you hadn’t walked yourself to his best friends’ night club and have to witness the look of pity Seonghwa and San cast upon before handing Hongjoong over to you.

You wish you hadn’t put yourself through the utterly tragic ordeal of picking up after him. Especially now, that you know how the future would look after that night.

The memories steeled your voice through the smooth notes, the music rising and falling as the backing track began to build. You’d struggled to record this section of the song- your breath always seemed to catch and hold when you sang the words, your chest feeling too heavy, tongue too leaden to mouth the next lines. But today, the tune was like second nature to your lips, the sentiment almost easy to express.

Surely he was watching now, wherever he was, the lyrics’ meaning sinking into his skin with every word. Some tiny, savage part of your brain hoped he felt the same cold terror and sense of unfairness you felt all this while- you hoped he would drown in it until it consumed him, soul and all.

“Did she have it all, all that you wanted for you to go and break your promise?”

He’d crawled into your bed with you that night, holding you closer than he had ever held you in 3 years. Soothed your tears of pure disappointment and cried way too many of his own, your shoulders shuddering as you pulled each other closer. Murmured apologies a million times, over and over again against your skin as he curled his body around yours, until you fell into a restless sleep.

You still remember the time-dampened images of the nightmare you had that night, the shadows laughing at you for being an inadequate girlfriend, an unfit person, that he probably cheated because you weren’t doing enough for him. You’d awoken a mere couple of hours after the both of you had nodded off, Hongjoong’s grip on your body still tight despite his state of slumber.

Was he worried you’d wake up and walk away?

He would find you in your kitchen in his old shirt when he woke up anyway, tired eyes and tired limbs and enough coffee for 2 in the French press.

“I wanna know, every secret you’ve been hiding…I wanna know just how long have you've been lying…”

A mistake, he’d called it. One-off error in judgement, a single moment in time he had chosen not to listen to his better sensibilities. It had happened once, entirely because of his lapse in judgement, he said. It would never happen again; he swore to you. Promised to you with your hands in his, earnestness in his gaze that you had never been subjected to until now- then again, he’d never given you reason to mistrust him until now.

You’d asked for a promise from Hongjoong that day- a no-closed-doors policy on your relationship. It should’ve been a no-brainer as far as you were concerned, but it seemed that people like Hongjoong needed the reminder that not all people lived the way they did. That love wasn’t reckless free fall to everybody, a spark that burns fast and bright and fizzles out just as quick.

“I wanna know, does she fuck you like I did…I wanna know, and will she love you like I did…”

You wish you’d been less mature about the whole affair.

Singing the words aloud only made you wish you’d thrown the words at him the first time it happened, instead of now, behind the safety of two screens and physical distance. You should’ve allowed yourself the sheer meltdown that the situation warranted, allowed the rage to take over your system even if it was for those few unfiltered seconds.

Hongjoong’s actions hadn’t deserved the maturity you afforded them. But you couldn’t blame yourself- in those fleeting moments, the primary emotions you had felt was that of inadequacy. You should’ve trusted yourself more.

“Boy this ain’t how it’s supposed to be...Dancing between someones else’s sheets…”

After the burning hurt from the fiasco died down, it felt like Hongjoong had taken it upon himself to prove to you how special, how important, how absolutely irreplaceable you were to him. In the haze of it all, you ended up loving it.

The once almost stoic man was now making an effort to be more to you, less of the disappointment he had caused you. He made an effort to talk to you, open up about his frayed relationship with love – hesitant at first and then naturally.

I care about you. I love you; he’d murmured to the ceiling one night. You were silent, body resting against his as he arranged the sheets higher around your bodies. I wanted to know what we’d be like together and I haven’t regretted a second of it. I can’t imagine my days without you around. A soft kiss planted against your hairline that you returned against the crook of his neck as sleep claimed you.

“I can’t believe this is really happening, your guilty conscience is going to be the death of me..”

The next few months were a daily reminder of how much Kim Hongjoong had come to know you over the years of your relationship. Your favourite flowers turned up like clockwork at your desk every Tuesday, accompanying a note in his quick, scratchy handwriting – a new tradition of mid-week dates at experimental restaurants with oddly planned menus. Voice notes of his raspy morning voice sending you sweet affirmations that rung in your ears late into the afternoon.

Even the way he touched you felt softer, more… reverent. Like he’d had a taste of what he stood to lose and never wanted to think of it again. As each day passed, you found yourself resting easy, basking in the attention and adoration and soft romance of it all.

Looking back on it, you should’ve known. What was it they say about a cheat?

They expect you to be loyal to them despite their faithlessness.

“You got so caught up in the moment...But she’ll only love you when she’s lonely…”

The second time it happened, the only thing your heart felt was a wildfire doused in rage and an almost crippling sense of treachery. A fellow artist in the same recording company as you had slipped into the studio late one night, just as you were packing up to head home. She’d pulled you to the couch on the side, holding your hands in hers as she hesitated before asking her questions- Are you sure your boyfriend is faithful? He keeps leaving the club I perform at with other girls?

Your fingers curled tightly around the mic, trying your hardest not to let your other hand clench the fabric covering your legs. You would give the world neither the privilege nor the misfortune of knowing how much truth this song really held. The world didn’t- no, Hongjoong didn’t deserve it. Not anymore.

“This ain’t a game you better tell me where you're at, No boy, you fucked up and there’s no taking it back..”

You’d dropped by Hongjoong’s apartment that night, hands shaking in your coat pockets and head spinning from the rush of emotions. You had a spare key, and it was only a matter of dropping him a quick text before letting yourself in. Betrayal? Rage? Frustration? Disappointment? It was the disgusting cocktail in the pit of your stomach that led you to snoop through his phone while he was in the shower-

You wish you hadn’t but oh, you’d be damned if you weren’t glad you had.

He’d brought girls to his apartment at the end of so-called club hopping nights with Seonghwa. Every Friday. Ever since he’d made his ‘promise’ to you.

Every single Friday.

He’d bedded some random chick from the clubs and then turned up at your doorstep every weekend like nothing had ever happened.

Every. Single. Friday.

“I gave everything to you …and this is what you turn around and do..”

You remember slipping out of Hongjoong’s apartment as quickly as you had turned up, faking an emergency at the studio to dash out the front door. Stubbornly holding your tears at bay as you drove back to your own neighbourhood, out of the car and into your apartment. Collapsing on your couch in a daze just as the breakdown began.

You still don’t know if the tears you shed that night were of anger or sadness- with the urge to destroy everything Hongjoong stood for, the only thing you wanted to do was never see him again.

For a second, you were transported back to that disaster of a night, the studio melting away into the familiar walls of your apartment, closing in on you as the despair and bottomless rage set in. There was an edge to your voice as you sang now, more angry than sad like before. Was he listening? Was he able to hear your farewell in the lyrics?

Was he panicking that you found out? Or worse, did he not care at all?

“Did she have it all, all that you wanted for you to go and break your promise?”

The next morning, you’d woken up with puffy eyes and a heavy heart, but with one clear motive seared into your mind- revenge.

You’d allowed him into your heart, let him build a home there for years and years. You had loved him every way you knew how to- broken at first, unconditionally later. You’d given him trust, a currency you were known to be stingy with- and he turns around and does this to you.

Maybe that was childish of you; maybe a more mature person would’ve broken it off that day, wallowed in heartbreak and made efforts to move on. But no, not you.

If Hongjoong had found it acceptable to take girls home while being in a relationship with you, he would definitely find it acceptable if you aired some of his dirty laundry yourself.

“I wanna know every secret you’ve been hiding…I wanna know just how long have you been lying..”

Chris had been concerned when you walked into the studio, looking almost entirely functional and not worse for wear at all.

It made sense, your best friend’s worry. It had only been 3 days since…since the incident and besides an update message, you had burrowed yourself at home and entirely unreachable. But here you were today, sheets of paper filled with your scrawl covering the table in front of you- lyrics.

Read them, you’d muttered, shoving the pages towards him- your hands shook slightly, the first crack in your façade. They’re a bit of a mess, but they mostly make sense.

Only you would remember being drunk off your mind on whiskey and later, wine the whole time. Alternating between feverish writing and heartbroken sobbing. Pretending to be completely fine to Hongjoong, telling him to not ‘interrupt your creative process’. Staring out into the starrless night skies and wishing that one day soon, Hongjoong would feel the hell you were feeling now. One day, you would look a camera in the eye and sing these lyrics out loud, for the world to hear, for him to hear. And you’ll be damned if that day, Kim Hongjoong didn’t get his final taste of who he’d just lost.

“I wanna know…does she fuck you like I did, I wanna know, will she love you like I did..”

Getting the right feel to the lyrics while recording the song had been all too easy, waving off Hongjoong’s curiosity about your newest project easier so.

It was a surprise for him, you would smile, dropping fleeting kisses against his cheekbones and jaw just the way he liked. He always smiled and dragged your mouth to his own, letting his smile slide against your own, murmuring that he was going to follow you into the studio to take a peek for curiosity’s sake.

Talk often fizzled out at that point, because god, it was so difficult to stay away from each other’s bodies and out of each other’s arms after the long days of being your own people, strong and resourceful and adult and independent. It was easier to let your muscle memories take over, touch and sense and feel every single wretched thing that Hongjoong was so capable of making you feel.

“She won't do you like me, she won't love you like me, baby…she won't touch you like me, she won't love you like me, baby…”

You would be lying if you said you didn’t get a wild sense of pleasure singing those lines, your eyes not leaving the camera pointed at you. Was it revenge well served? A broken heart being healed?

Over the weeks of preparing for the song, you’d realized how true those words were. The burning sense of betrayal and hurt hadn’t faded in the least- you still woke up every morning feeling lesser than, but never again. Never would you let anybody feel like this again.

Nobody would love Hongjoong like you could. It was about time he realized that. Pity, though, that you wouldn’t be around to witness it.

“She won't love you like, she won't love you like me.”

The music fizzled out into silence, the producers counting down as you stayed still- 3,2,1 cut! In pursuit of the feeling of reckless freedom, Hongjoong had lost the one person he claimed made him feel like he belonged. How unfortunate for him, you mused, as the studio erupted in claps, the producers grinning widely and everybody smiling at each other. In the middle of the chaos, the door swung open- His eyes were wide, short blonde hair a windswept mess against his forehead, the single stalk of your favourite flower hanging limp in his hands. Surely there were paint marks on his cuffs, and the tiny earring would jingle prettily when he moved, but as his gaze met your dead ones, you could only think one thing-

She won't love you like, she won't love you like me.

Thank you for reading! Do let me know what you think~ xoxo, Elliana.

Network Tag: @kpopscape

#ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez hongjoong #ateez x reader #kim hongjoong #hongjoong x reader #ateez fluff #ateez angst #hongjoong fluff #ateez fanfic #atz x reader #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #ella.ateez #atz imagines #atz fluff

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hellcaster901 · 4 years

Text

Man Without Sin

Sherlock Holmes x Female reader

Summary: With your little brother missing, your father decides they need the best Detective on the job.

Word Count: 3,890

Warning(s): SMUT! (please be aware this is a fanfiction, be safe please), creampie, FLUFF

A/N: After watching Enola Holmes, I could not get this man out of my mind, so I just wanted to give it a try and write a oneshot for him, and this is what I got! Hopefully you guys like it, and you enjoy it. I just wanna say a big thank you to my good friend @13dead-ends mostly because she was so cool with letting me write for her man and for being my proof reader. Hope you guys enjoy!

Sherlock Holmes was a cocky bastard. Too smart for his own good sort of cocky bastard, and you did everything in your power to remind him that he wasn’t one of a kind.

It all started when your brother mysteriously vanished, leaving you and your father alone in the house, wondering why or where he left. You asked your father to trust in you that you could solve it, figure out why he ever left in the first place and where you could find him, but he didn’t have any faith in you, rather all his faith was in the one and famous Sherlock Holmes, the one true detective that could solve any mystery and any puzzle, and you’d be damn if you’d let this man solve your brother's case, without you.

When Sherlock first came into your life, your father did everything he could to make the investigation easier for him, offering the spare room in the house, giving him any information that he could about your brother, paying the detective in any way he can. You could not handle it. Especially since Sherlock’s first suspect… was you.

“It's a bit strange that a boy of his age would just up and vanish. What was his age, 16?”

“He is 16.” You corrected the detective. You couldn’t help the tone in your voice as you answered. You put your hands on your hips as you watched him pace around your brother’s room, looking at all of the trinkets and books the young boy collected throughout the years. Watching as he picked up said items, studying each and every one of them. “He wouldn’t have just left.” You stated, voice a little softer, looking at everything in his room. “That isn’t like him.”

“You never truly know someone, even if they are a sibling.”

“Are you suggesting you know my own brother better than I do?” You snapped, head whipping around to look at Mr. Holmes. You could see that he had a shocked look on his face at your little outburst, but quickly was able to shake it off. “Just because you’re a hot-shot detective doesn’t mean you instantly know a person by their possessions.”

“I’m suggesting that it’s strange a young man of his age disappeared and there’s no witnesses.” He stared. You could see the look on his face, the way his eyes search yours, trying to find any hint of doubt or lies that hide, yet there was none, and you knew what he was doing.

“Mr. Holmes,” You coldly smiled, taking a step into the room, “Are you accusing me of being involved with my brother’s disappearance?” He chuckled lightly, shaking his head, the black curls atop of his head shaking with his movement as he smirked.

“Everyone’s a suspect until I say they aren’t.”

You may have been a little emotional, and you may have been a bit unfair. He was helping, giving his time to search for your brother, but accusing you was the last straw. Not only could you not stand the man, he apparently had a way with making it the most difficult week of your life for you. Constantly in the way, constantly underestimating you as you tried to help, and constantly giving you that bloody smirk of his that made your blood boil, and your knees weak. No matter how hard you tried to push the thought to the back of your mind, he was attractive, but that didn’t help his giant ego.

Sadly, that’s how you ended up in this situation, lost in an abandoned building all because your leads all ended up here, and somehow, your own ego to find your brother and not trust the actual detective, ended you up here, walking the empty, decaying walls, looking for clues. You didn’t even tell your father where you were, trusting that this could be your chance to show that you were just as capable. And you knew you were, each lead, each witness said that they saw a disheveled man, close to the image of your brother on the missing person’s posters, come here around this time, everyday.

You trusted your gut as you walked through the halls, the floorboards creaking beneath you as you took were timid steps. As you walked, you noticed the many supplies and boxes laying around, what was in them you didn’t care for, you just knew that your brother was in this building.

As you walked through the first floor, you soon began hearing boards creaking above you, heavy footsteps walking around, and muffled voices. You felt your heart race in your chest, hearing more than one voice, and hearing more than one set of footsteps. You didn’t expect to be more than your brother just here, and that made you nervous.

You grabbed at your skirts, lifting them and walking up the steps, the boards groaning at each movement. You took it slow, the muffled voices becoming a bit more clearer as you walked, and as you got closer, you could distinctly make out your brother’s voice. Shaky and panicky. You stayed calm besides the rush of confidence and nervousness washed over you. Taking a step onto the landing, you looked up and over the railing. You noticed one of the doors was cracked open, exposing the well lit room, men walking past the cracked door. They were older men, a rugged look to them as they stood there, yelling about shipments and the impact it could make on their business

You took a small step forward, the floorboards moaning beneath you at your weight, a few of the boards cracking beneath, trying to get a better look at your brother. You held your breath as you watched, eyes watching the door frantically as the men walked passed. When finally, the sight of your brother, disheveled and scared stepped into your view. A sense of relief and proudness washed over you. A relief that your brother was alive, and proud that you were able to do this by yourself.

He stood there, eyes wide, undershirt and trousers wrinkled and covered in dirt. You wanted to yell for him, to scream for him to follow you, to get out of here. But you knew this was more than just him running away. You took another step, wanting to get a closer look, when the board beneath you cracked loudly, before it finally snapped.

You screamed as your leg broke through the board, the wood scratching against your leg, pulling and tearing at your undergarments and skirts.

“Who the hell are you?” You looked up, seeing a large man standing at the tops of the stairs, some other men standing behind you, your brother staring down at you with wide eyes. He shook his head at you, a look on his face you’ve never seen before. It was pure fear. You watched as the man opened his mouth again, ready to demand my name, when the boards creaked beneath you again, cracking under your weight.

“Y/N!” You looked down at the bottom of the stairs, seeing Sherlock standing there. And that's when you fell.

***

Your eyelids fluttered open, your eyes focusing on the paintings that covered the wall. Paintings of you as a child, your mother and father. You smiled softly at the painting, seeing how happy they were, you bundled in your mother’s arms. Your eyes shifted to the large painting hanging next to it, one of you, older now, probably 10, standing behind your father as he held your little brother.

Your brother @@

With a gasp you jerked from where you laid, yelling your brother’s name, knowing you saw him. You stood up, wincing at the slight pain in your legs and hips, falling back onto the couch you once were.

You stared down at your skirts, touching the dirty, torn fabric, everything coming back. Seeing him with those men, standing there on the landing, falling through the boards, seeing Sherlock.

“Y/N.” you were torn from your trance, looking up at the doorway to see Sherlock standing there. You wondered what you looked like after seeing him, standing there, dirty and debris covering his vest and white undershirt, his hair was no longer put together and neat, more as disheveled, almost like he was constantly running a hand through it.

“I saw him.” You whispered, looking down at the state you were in. “I found him.” You took a shaky breath in, looking back up at the detective. “We need to go find him.” You shook your head, standing up, ignoring the pain that shot up your leg.

“Y/N.” He spoke again, coming towards you, placing a hand on your upper arm. “You need to rest, you’ve-”

“No.” You snapped, pulling your arm away from his, shaking your head. You felt your hair brush against your shoulders. You looked down, noticing that your blouse was torn from the neck down, exposing your chest and your corset. You were a mess, but for the moment, all you wanted was your baby brother home. “I saw him. I found him.” You snapped again, waving a hand at Sherlock, everything that happened in the last couple hours rushing over you. “I can find him again, I just need to-”

“Stop.” Sherlock barked, grabbing your arms. He turned you, shaking you lightly as you stood there before him, eyes wide and lips parted as you looked over his features. He was upset, either at losing your brother after looking for so long, or you were just annoying him.

“Don’t you dare tell me what to do.” You scoffed, trying to tug yourself from his hands, but to no prevail, he held on, keeping you in your place. “Let go.” You huffed, wiggling around to get out of his grasp. But he had a tight hold on you, not letting you go, not letting you go back out and getting yourself hurt. “I need to find him.”

“You did.” He yelled, making you flinch in his hands, stopping your wiggling around. “You found him,” He repeated again, but his tone was much softer than before, his blue eyes searching yours, trying to calm you down. “But this is more than either of us thought it was.” He explained, his hands feeling like fire on your arms as you listened. “He’s dealing with something illegal, something that could get him, and everyone one involved hurt.”

“He’s not.” You shook your head, not believing that your brother would put himself into a situation like that. “You’re lying.” You whispered, pulling from his hands, and this time he let you go. “Why are you lying?”

“Why would I lie to you?” He cooly spoke.

“You are.” You scoffed. “I’m looking for him.” You pushed past the large man, gasping as you felt one of his hands on your wrist, tugging you back. “Don’t you dare.” You gasped, turning on your heels and lifting a hand. Before you could even smack him, your hand slapping his chiseled face, he caught your wrist, tugging you to him.

You huffed as you fell against his chest, his other hand wrapping around your waist, fingers hooking onto the bottom of your corset, keeping you close, the other hand still holding onto your wrist. You moved against him, but he kept you tight, not letting you move.

“You a stubborn girl.” he grunted, his eyes shifting down to see your bosom rubbing against his chest, the corset scratching against the vest. “Stop moving.” He held you tighter, arm keeping you against him. You looked up, ready to scream and kick and cry, but everything was washed away when you realized how close the two of you have become. “Being upset isn’t going to save him.” He whispered, slowly letting go of your wrist. But by this point, you weren’t freaking out, whatever he was doing, held you in a trance. “Let me save him.” And just like that, that trance was gone.

“You save him?” You whispered, raising an eyebrow. “You’re not doing anything without me.” You fumed, getting heated up once again. “What makes you think that I’m not capable of saving my own-”

Sherlock was fed up with listening to you talk.

And to shut you up, he cupped the back of your head, and kissed you.

You were shocked when his lips met yours, stealing the breath from your lungs as he crushed you against him, shutting you up with his lips. Your eyes fluttered shut, melting into him as everything from today was erased from your mind the second his lips touched yours. He smelt like sweat, like an old house, which you were sure was from the abandoned home you were just in.

Sherlock draped both his arms around your waist,your own hands making their way up his large arms before resting on his back, lips moving together, nose bumping as he inhaled you. You felt as if your knees were going to give out on you, but you knew that he was going to catch you if they did. It must’ve been a sight to see the two of you, one covered in dirt and grime, while the other barely had a blouse on with a torn skirt and exposed corset.

It was as if the adrenaline from today was finally catching up for the two of you, your arms tugging him impossibly closer, lips sliding against one another. Soon what was a hesitant kiss, turned into one filled with passion. He lifted you up, walking you towards the table that sat in the middle of the room, placing you on top. He was gentle, still minding the bruise and cuts that you once just obtained. “You need to let me find your brother.” He mumbled against your lips, hands making their way up your back, fingers dragging along the bumps of the tight lace of your corset.

You pulled away, furrowed eyebrows at the man.

“You must be joking.” You tried to ignore the way his flushed cheeks, the newly red and plumpness to his lips made those butterflies that were once in your stomach travel down south. “You’re not looking for him without me.”

“Y/N.” He huffed, fingers playing with the tight lace at the bottom of your corset, it was distracting, and he knew that it was. “It’s not safe for a lady-”

“Don’t you dare.” You groaned, shoving at his chest. “Either I’m looking with you, or I’m looking without you.” You pointed, watching the way his eyebrows scrunched together. “That’s final.” You could see that he was thinking about it before he finally huffed.

He tugged you back, soft lips meeting yours as his hands grabbed at your skirts lifting them to around your waist. “Strong Headed girl.” He groaned, settling himself between your thighs. You gasped as you felt him rut against you, his length rubbing against your most sensitive parts. “Most difficult girl.”

You smirked against his lips, a strong sense of pride as you realized that you were able to frustrate this man to the point of taking you on the table. And if that wasn’t a boost to your ego, frustrating England’s most profound detective, you weren’t sure what was.

There was no time to waste as the two of you frantic pulled at one another’s clothes. Your hands slipping between your bodies as you unbutton his pants, hearing the small gasps that left his lips when you shoved the barrier down, exposing him to your curious eyes. You pulled away from him, nervously looking down.

This was the most unlady like situation you’ve ever been in, but Sherlock Holmes was the exception for acting in such a manner.

You grew hot at the sight, unknowing licking your lips as you looked back at Sherlock. No words were spoken as he leaned down, kissing you as his hands worked at your own undergarments, shoving them to your ankles, hanging on one foot while he tugged you close to the edge of the table.

You winced at the slight pull from your legs, the newly fresh wounds pulling against your skin as he lifted a leg up, hooking it around his hip.

From the past couple weeks of pent up anger and frustration at one another, this was bound to happen, the passing looks, the arguments, all of it, was leading up to this single moment.

“Sherlock.” You gasped, finger digging into his arms as he nudged against you, his length slipping between your lips, smearing your juices over your throbbing sex and down his cock.

“Do you realize how long I’ve wanted to shut you up with this?” He groaned against your ear, both of you looking down, one hand holding up your thigh around his waist, while the other held your skirts up, exposing the intoxicating sight to you both. You reached down, grabbing more of the skirts as you pulled them up, more light being exposed to the obscene sight. “Such a stubborn girl should know her place.” He whispered, thrusting against you, the tip of his cock bumping against your clit, making you jerk against the table.

“Sherlock, please.” You begged. Even though his words were enough to make your blood boil any other time, this time, you wanted to hear more and more of his filthy words.

He grabbed the back of your neck, lifting his head to look at you, keeping you in place as he rested his forehead against yours. “You better be quiet.” He warned. You nodded, biting down on your bottom lip. Neither of you wanted your father walking in to see his daughter being used by the detective he idolized.

He reached between your heaving bodies, wrapping a large hand around his length as he lined himself up with you, slowly pushing against your entrance, squeezing between your tight walls. You gasped loudly, hiding your head in the crook of his neck, hearing the soft moans of this wonderous man.

“Sherlock!” You croaked out, a hand clenching your skirts while the other grabbed at his vest. Pushing him or tugging him closer, you weren’t sure. The way this man was barely in you, and you were already a whimpering mess was uncalled for. He stretched you out deliciously, the slight burn of your walls opening for him made you cry against his neck. He left soft kisses against your shoulder, shushing you as you cried out a little too loud when he filled you to the hilt.

“Look at you, stubborn girl.” He whispered against your ear, chills running down your back at the thickness of his voice, his cock and the stupid pet name he gave you.

He slowly pulled out of you, snapping his hips against yours. You bit down on the fabric of his vest, trying to cover the sounds this man was pulling from you. He wasn’t gentle, showing you that if you were going to be a part of the hunt for your brother, that he was in charge.

You tried to keep quiet, but it was no use as he fucked you, the edge of the table digging into the back of your thighs. You moans were choked and intertwined with quiet sobs against his shirt, tears filling your eyes as he took you.

“Such a smart girl,” he grunted, weaving a hand into your hair, tugging your head back to look at him. You gasped at the sudden movement, his hands moving down to grasp your chin in his hand, making you look at him, fingers digging into your skin. “But I finally left you speechless.” He smirked. You opened your mouth to make a smart comment to him, but was met with a hard thrust, making whatever sarcastic comment you were going to say, not worth it at that moment.

Sherlock was a sight for sore eyes. Face was scrunched up in pure pleasure, eyes looking over your face as his lips parted when he gave you another hard thrust. He was enjoying this just as much as you were, it was a stress reliever for the two of you. You reached up, cupping the side of his face, tugging him down and kissed his pink lips, drinking down his grunts as he chased his high.

“I’m close Sherlock.” You mumbled against his lips, his hand that grasped your chin fell to your bosom, fingers digging into the corset, locking you in place as he bucked into you. “Let me feel you.” You whispered, licking his bottom lip. You were so desperately close, almost like a tornado was happening within your stomach, your walls fluttering around his cock as you desperately wanted to reach your own climax.

Sherlock’s hand that was wrapped around your thigh tightened, lifting the leg even higher around his hip, his cock splitting you open even more. “Sherlock!” You cried against his lips, feeling his cock bump against your g-spot with each hard stroke. “Yes, right there.” You no longer cared if you sounded like a whore in a brothel, all you wanted was this man to make you feel like you were on a cloud.

“Let go Y/N.” He grunted, his hand that was once grabbing your corset wrapping around your body, tugging you right to the edge of the table. “Let me feel you sweet girl.”

It was as if your whole body locked up around him, your thighs clenching together in a tight embrace around his hips, your walls squeezing his cock like a vice. His name left your lips like a prayer, your orgasm taking a hold of your body as held onto him for dear life.

Sherlock growled into your neck as he came, desperately bucking into your tight walls as he emptied himself, crushing you against him. He rutted against you, a few final thrusts as he came, his seed filling you, his cock twitching as he slowly came to a stop.

You dropped your head onto his shoulder, trying to catch your breath after such an intense moment, your hand shakily reaching for his hair, playing with the few strands at the nape of his neck. He moaned softly, a smile spreading on your face that you realized that this man liked his hair being played with. He pulled away from you, his softened cock slipping from your swollen walls. You whimpered as he did so, feeling the mixture of cum already leaking from you. You blushed as you looked up at him, lowering your skirt. He only smirked up at you as he tucked himself back into his pants.

You reached for your undergarments, pulling them up your bruised legs, trying to ignore the sticky liquid between your thighs as you fixed what was left of your skirts. Before you could even try to jump off the table, Sherlock was there, hands on your hips as he helped you down.

“Thank you.” You whispered, looking up at him. He stared down at you, a look you’ve never seen before on this man on his face. “I trust you.” You spoke, placing your hands on top of his. “I trust that you can find my brother.” The corner of his lip turned up.

“I trust that we can find your brother.” He corrected you.

Taglist: @thereisa8ella

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elizabeethan · 3 years

Text

Watch The Sunlight Fade: 3 / 18

Emma Swan finds out that her boyfriend has been hiding something from her: he’s in a gang and trying to get out. Reluctantly, she decides to support him, sticking it out with him until they have enough money to flee to Florida. All she has to do is wait and ignore that feeling in her gut that something is seriously wrong. With the help of a kind and handsome stranger, she just might make it out alive.

Or, alternate summary: I’m horrible at summaries, please just read it.

Something of a cross between a What Still Remains AU and a Sons of Anarchy AU.

A/N: You may have noticed a chapter count! It’s subject to change, but I’ve outlined the whole story and have written halfway through chapter 12, so we’re getting there, friends. Reminder to check warnings and tags and message me if you have questions. There will be depictions of violence, domestic violence, very very brief discussions of non-con (kind of) and psychological abuse throughout this story.

Rated M

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Read on Ao3

~~~~

The door to his apartment slams behind her as she stumbles in, the alcohol in her veins obviously taking over as he helps to steady her. “Easy,” he warns, hand on her waist as he guides her towards the guest room.

“You’re not gonna let me stay in bed with you, big guy?” she slurs, giving him a flirty smile.

“No, love,” he answers softly. “You need rest.”

With a giggle, she answers, “I get paid to have sex with people. Shouldn’t you be flattered that I’m soliciting you?”

“Tink,” he laughs, “I am very flattered. But you need to go to bed.”

“I can still give you a good time even though I’m drunk, you know,” she promises, letting her fingers dance along the lapels of his jacket.

“I know that, love. I just think… perhaps it’s time to… bring this arrangement to a close.”

She pouts, her bottom lip popping out and her brows furrowing. “Something I said?” she asks.

With a slight shake to his head, he smiles shyly down at her and brushes a wayward strand of her honey locks out of her eye. “No, but perhaps we can finish this tomorrow morning when you’re sober?”

Tink shrugs, letting her heavy kids fall closed and turning around to stumble down the hall. “It’s okay,” she says as she finds the doorknob. “I know it’s that blonde girl.”

“Liv…” he starts, although he isn’t sure where he’s going as he begins to speak. It’s not the blonde girl, not really. Although he felt a connection to her from the moment he saw her, he also knows that his and Tink’s fling is just that: a fling. It can’t last, and while he likes her well enough, he thinks it unfair to continue on with something to which he isn’t fully dedicated. “It’s not you.”

She snorts and nods her head lazily, letting it flop a bit too freely on her neck. “It’s not you, it’s me. I get it.”

“Hey,” he tries again, giving her a soft smile as he tucks away the same defiant strand of her hair. “I’ll always be here for you, you know that. I’ll always have love for you.”

“Yeah,” she smiles with a soft blush, her lids looking heavier and heavier with each passing moment. “I love you, too, bud. It was probably a bad idea to sleep with your best friend anyway.”

“I’m not sleeping with Robin,” he deadpans, knowing with certainty that it’ll draw a hearty laugh from her. She pushes against his shoulder with more force that she was likely expecting and turns around to open the door to his guest room.

“You dolt.” Once she’s in the room, just as she’s about to shut the door behind her, she spins quickly to face him once more. “By the way, you’re a total idiot if you go after her.”

“Bloody hell, not you too,” he complains as he scratches behind his ear.

“She belongs to Cassidy and you know it. You know what’ll happen if you pursue her.”

“Aye, that’s why I have no intention of doing so. Now, go to bed, Olivia.”

“Ooh,” she fakes a shudder, “full name; I must've been naughty.”

“Aye, you were. Goodnight, love.”

“Night, KJ.”

He listens to her giggle as she stumbles through the room, one she’s stayed in countless times before. She’s right; they probably never should’ve started their affair in the first place. Sleeping with your best friend is bound to end badly. But they understand each other, each of them here with hardly a choice on whether they stay or go. It isn’t as if they’re being held against their will, but the implication is that they’ll seriously regret it if they try to leave, one way or another. They simply both took comfort in knowing that someone else felt as they did.

He’s about to go to bed himself, ready to rid himself of the guilt that came along with the events of the day, but he pauses as he walks by his front door just in time to hear a resounding thud coming from across the hall. He panics and swings his own door open when he hears the terrified cry in response. He heard something earlier today that sounded exactly like that terrified cry.

Rushing over to Neal’s apartment, he places his hand on the knob and presses his ear to the door. He doesn’t want to burst in with haste since he has no idea what he actually heard, and the door must be locked anyway. But he can’t help but recall the image of her pressed to the door looking horrified, two knives on either side of her throat. He can’t get the look in her eyes out of his head.

There aren’t anymore sounds resonating from the apartment, silence falling over him as he attempts to listen out for signs of trouble. After a moment, all he hears are soft, painful sobs coming from the other side of the door.

~~~~

It’s surprisingly even more terrifying to be in the shop during the day than it was at night. At least when she was here last night, the shadows kept the frightening details of the space hidden, but now that the sun is up and streaming through the small basement windows, she’s able to see too much.

She can see the aged and worn paint on the walls, giving her an automatic and infallible feeling of unease. She can see the decorative weapons proudly displayed on every inch of every wall. She can see the rugged violence on each of the men’s faces so clearly in the sunlight. Being here terrifies her.

“Morning, Miss Swan,” Peter greets as Neal leads her into the large meeting room. He’s already sitting at the table waiting for them, Gold at his right and two empty seats to his left. There are several other members at the table as well, and she can’t help but notice how bright Killian’s eyes look in the sun streaming through the windows. “Welcome to your first real family meeting.”

The others around the table laugh, everyone but Jones seeming to find his joke about her near death experience to be funny. “Aren’t you going to say hello?” Neal asks in her ear, his voice low and his teeth clearly clenched.

She clears her throat and gives Peter the fakest smile she can muster. “Good morning.”

“That’s a good lass,” he praises, setting free a flock of anxious butterflies in her stomach. “Come sit. We saved you a seat by Neal.”

They sit side by side, and it’s becoming easier and easier to question his ranking within the group of men at the table. She finds it impossible to see him as a simple lackey when his name is carved into the table in intricate lettering in front of his chair, directly to the left of Peter's seat at the head.

There are talks of their plans, and she gathers some information easily while they seem to go to great lengths to keep other things hidden from her based on the threatening glances Peter doles out from time to time. There’s a trip coming up, and it’s automatically assumed that Neal will be going with Peter and Gold will be staying behind, as if this arrangement was made and agreed upon a lifetime ago. Once the other attendees are determined, Peter turns to face her and gives her a smile.

“Now, a job for you, my dear. Neal tells us you have a talent in finding people.”

“She can find anyone,” Neal says proudly, referring to her short stint as a bail bondsperson back when she lived in Boston. When she had met Neal after he witnessed her taking down a skip, he took her under his wing and told her she didn’t have to live such a dangerous lifestyle anymore. “Well, almost anyone.”

Her stomach flips at his hint; at his willingness to bring up one of the most painful memories she has. She’s great at finding people, but in 25 years, she still hasn’t been able to find her parents.

Pan hums. “We can look past a few failed attempts. What we need from you now, Emma, is your skillset to find a certain someone who deserted our cause.”

She gulps. “You want me to hunt down someone who doesn’t agree with you?”

“No love,” he laughs, and Neal’s grip on her hand tightens just a notch. “I want you to find someone who has valuable information and won’t hesitate to hand it over to a rival.” Emma bites her lip in thought, concern likely colored across her face. She hadn’t considered the existence of a rival gang before this moment, and she becomes frightened to think of there being more than one set of men like them. The thought that another gang is out there and considers themselves rivals to The Lost Boys means she’s potentially putting herself in even more danger by becoming associated with them. What will another gang do to the girlfriend of one of their rival’s members, especially a member whom she suspects is higher up in the rankings than he’s letting on?

“It’s not lost on me that you’re feeling uncomfortable here, Emma. The tension between you and Neal is perfectly palpable. But I’d implore you to let go of your fears; no one here will harm you. We’re here to protect you. By simply being associated with Neal, you have the protection of everyone in this club. And I’m sure it makes perfect sense that we would expect something of you in return for our unquestioning devotion to your safety.”

Although something about his words makes her suspicious, she suddenly feels a sense of strength at his claim that she’s a part of the group now. It’s as if he’s telling her that her thoughts and opinions matter, so she makes a bold choice and speaks up. “Can I clarify something?” she asks.

“Of course.”

“What are you protecting me from, exactly?”

Peter smirks and shakes his head, giving Neal a look that she can’t quite read. “I suppose Neal hasn’t informed you of how dangerous a place this world can be for a woman like you, Miss Swan. Your love for Neal makes you a target, as does Neal’s love for you. By falling for him, you’ve also fallen into our world. And because we’re so devoted to what you have to offer, we will protect you from everyone who may want to hurt Neal.”

“Just because I can find people pretty easily?” she asks doubtfully. His explanation isn’t making any sense to her. She can’t rectify in her head how loving Neal can equate to requiring constant protection, especially based on his claim that he’s going to be leaving soon.

“No, Emma,” he laughs condescendingly, as if he were talking to a child who couldn’t handle the truth. She wonders if he’s right. “Worry not; all will make sense to you as time goes by. For now, let's get started with your first assignment. Hook, show the lady to her office.”

~~~~

“Most sites are blocked here,” he explains as he powers up the old desktop, groaning softly as he stands again. “You’ll likely run into trouble if you try to find him on Facebook or anything.”

“Why?” she asks, and although she immediately regrets opening her mouth, the look he gives her feels more amused than anything.

“Why?”

“Um… why are they blocked?”

He breathes out a laugh, shaking his head and looking away from her once he notices that the computer has booted up. “To keep you out of trouble, I suppose.”

She bites her bottom lip, squeezing her fists until she feels the sting of her nails digging into her palm. She isn’t sure that, in the last day since she’s come here, she’s been kept out of trouble at all. She’s been in trouble-- in danger-- since she heard those bikes pulling up behind her and Neal.

“Right,” she says softly, sarcastically, and again, she kicks herself for opening her mouth. She wonders what would have happened to her by now if she was with anyone but Jones in this moment.

“Love,” he starts, his voice soft and tender, and she almost wonders if he intends to step close to her. Perhaps he means to comfort her. “I’m--” he clears his throat, “If you need anything…”

Their eyes meet, and it’s like the first time again. His azure stare bores into her in a way that makes her shudder, but not out of fear this time. She feels seen, understood, and while it’s only been a day since her traumatic greeting from the club, it feels like a lifetime since she’s felt a sense of safety. It feels comforting to meet his gaze, and she suddenly lets her breathing steady and her heart rate settle. “Thank you,” she whispers genuinely. She isn’t sure how she could relay it to him if she does need something, but the way he looks at her tells her that he’ll know.

For the first time since she’s been here, her safety appears to be a priority to someone. Relief washes over her and she lets it, despite knowing that it will dissipate the moment he walks out the door.

~~~~

“How’s it goin’ in here, my little worker bee?”

She looks up from the computer she’s been staring at, met by Neal leaning against the door jamb with his arms crossed. The dinosaur she’s working on is hardly functioning, most sites she’s tried blocked and inaccessible and the speed at which it loads each page almost painful. After almost a week of working on the assignment they’ve given her, she’s found almost nothing.

“Hi,” she mumbles, turning back to the screen. All they had given her was a name and a last known location, and she’s struggling to find more.

“Doing alright?”

“I can’t find much,” she says.

“You’ll find him; you’re smart. I wonder if that’s genetic,” he says with a laugh and a smirk in her direction. She isn’t sure what he means or how to respond, so she simply smiles somewhat awkwardly and moves on. She refuses to let herself wonder if this is another dig at her for being parentless.

“It just feels impossible. This guy, Graham… are you sure he even exists?” she jokes.

He laughs, but it’s forced and she doesn't detect a genuine smile. “Are you doubting Peter?”

Emma looks up at him, meeting his eyes with confusion colored in her own. “No,” she starts, although she isn’t sure if she’s being truthful in her answer. “It’s just…”

Neal shoves away from the door and slinks closer to her, bending at his knees and squatting until his eyes meet her level. “Ems,” he starts, his hand landing on hers and applying what she thinks is meant to be a comforting amount of pressure. “Don’t start.”

“What…?”

He groans and leans away from her. “It's not a damn secret that you aren’t happy to be here. I need you to be better about that.”

She lets her jaw hang open for a bit longer than she means to, shock taking over her as he confirms what she’s been suspecting since the meeting she attended. “Neal,” she starts, “you’re the one who said you want to get out. You said we could leave after a few weeks.”

“And?”

“Uh… and… it’s been a week and you don’t seem like you’re… I mean… it seems like you're happy here.”

“So what?”

“What do you-- so what? You said we were leaving and now it’s like they're your family!”

Neal stands quickly, spinning from her in exasperation as he thrusts his hands into his hair. “You’re being so-- stop judging me! What do you even have to complain about?! They’re being nothing but nice to you. You have a home now, I feed you, I love you, we protect you… I don’t get what your damn problem is!”

“The knives, Neal!” she shouts, unable to hold back the emotional response to his nonsensical claims. “You threw knives at my head!”

There's a loud smack against the desk she sits at, and she’s brought back to the reality of her experience and out of the false sense of control that she let herself believe she had. She has to force herself to move on from the thought that she and Neal are able to have a conversation. When she looks down to where his hand met the surface, she sees his gun held beneath his palm. She pales.

“It’s time to move on,” he hisses quietly, his voice taking over the silence of the room. It’s another threat. Another convenient way to show her that he has power over her. That he can take everything away from her, even her life, in a second if she gives him a reason to. “You weren’t in danger, baby,” he says, his voice more soothing this time, drawing from her that feeling again. The feeling that she’s overreacting. “I had it under control, remember?” he asks, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

She sighs heavily at the feeling of his lips tracing along her jaw until he reaches her neck. “You did?” she asks weakly. With his sudden change in demeanor, his obvious desire not to make her feel unsafe anymore, she feels something shift between them.

“Of course I did; don’t be stupid. You know I did.”

It feels good, she lets herself realize. As her eyes slip closed and a soft breath escapes her lips, she makes herself relax into his touch. With her sense of sight cut off, she feels herself giving in to his touch in favor of feeling some sense of relaxation after a week of hypervigilance. His rough stubble scratches at her skin, something she normally doesn’t like, but right now, she doesn’t think she minds too much. With her eyes shut, the rest of the world closed off from her mind, she thinks she could appreciate some stubble.

She feels the smooth leather of his sleeve under her fingertips and she likes it. Sure, she’s always thought the leather jackets were sexy, but here and now, something about him in it becomes more appealing. But when his hand creeps up her waist, his touch a bit too rough, too domineering, she flinches.

“Shh,” he hisses softly, attempting to soothe her. “It’s alright.”

At the sound of his voice, something snaps within her and she stiffens. It sounds wrong, she realizes. “Wait,” she murmurs as his hand creeps under her shirt.

He breathes out a disbelieving laugh. “Seriously?”

“I just,” she starts, nervous as he pushes away. “We’re… I mean, we’re here.” She gestures around the room, hopeful that her discomfort at the thought of sleeping with him in this office where anyone could walk in is clear.

“Right. So when we get home, you’ll be more than willing?” he asks doubtfully, rolling his eyes.

“Neal,” she begs softly, unsure of where she went wrong. She’s unsure of how she could have messed this up when she was the one to express her own discomfort. “Please.”

“Please,” he mimics, his voice rising in pitch. “I’ll see you in a week.”

With that, confusing words exchanged between them, he’s out of the room, the door slamming shut behind him.

@courtorderedcake @kmomof4 @stahlop @klynn-stormz @laschatzi @emelizabeth88 @lfh1226-linda @kday426 @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story @captain-emmajones @gingerpolyglot @ebcaver @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @superchocovian @itsfabianadocarmo @tiganasummertree @gingerchangeling @jrob64 @onceratheart18 @xhookswenchx @winterbaby89 @swampmedusa @ultraluckycatnd @dancingnancyy @love-with-you-i-have-everything @shireness-says @snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @ouatpost @daxx04 @the-darkdragonfly @donteattheappleshook @therooksshiningknight @eeteeaytay @xsajx @itsfridaysomewhere @alexa-fangirl-forever @jonesfandomfanatic @wefoundloveunderthelight @qualitycoffeethings @rapunzelsghosts @spaceconveyor @badcats-andmice @batana54 @sailtoafarawayland @deckerstarblanche @zaharadessert @xarandomdreamx @pirateprincessofpizza

#Watch the Sunlight fade #Sunlight ff #captain swan fanfic #captain swan angst #cs ff #gang au #captain swan au #modern au #angst with a happy ending #tw: domestic violence

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everafterkeiji · 3 years

Text

Song: Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo

Pairings: Tooru Oikawa x fem! reader

Word count: 8k

A/N: wow im so thankful for those who waited this long for the sequel so here it is, i really hope you guys like this one and im semi sorry for the pain, but thank u!

“I can’t find her, Oikawa!” Iwaizumi shouts with his voice trembling in secret, hands gripping each side of the steering wheel, feeling his heart race faster than his own engine. He couldn’t bear to watch the weary eyes of the person beside him. Deep down he knew it had something to do with his sudden presence. There’s no possible way that when everything has been going amazing for the both of you, it all turns into dust with the quick change of events.

Because of him.

He should’ve known that the arrival of Oikawa would bring you back to rock bottom and him along with it but even if he seemed prepared for the upcoming events- the impact of how painful it was never lessened.

What if you knew?

What if you knew that you were soon to be off his hands and return to Oikawa’s instead?

Imagining you with a suitcase in hand, watching you drag it as you walked beside Tooru to say goodbye to him while you both leave for Argentina is a sight that could make his now healed heart return to the shreds that it was when his best friend called him to tell him about his plans of bringing you back. It may have been a few days after that agonizing call but his heart has never been more content to see you smiling. You were both patching each other's missing pieces and even created new and better ones, replacing the sharp bits that deserved it.

But the boy who thought he could return it to its proper condition— ended up tearing them apart.

Tooru struggles to stay put in his seat. His heart held the same pace as Iwaizumis, maybe even faster. He visualized his coming home would’ve been better than this. Sure, he didn’t expect it to be a happy moment. He knew the different emotions you could portray once you see him and he prepares himself for the tears and the punches you’d throw knowing very well it was something he deserved.

He just wishes he didn’t have to see you tucked away in Hajimes’ arms.

But with Himari, he could expect something worse than that.

Oikawa looks over to Himari who bit her fingers, anxious on whatever was going on. He could sense the way Iwaizumi’s posture tensed up when they got in his car, though he might have mentioned what his intentions were, he felt like he still needed to repeat it to make him stop his doubts. The setter has mentioned Hirami to Iwaizumi through the call but there was still the threatening silence that surrounds you three.

“Please before you think or say anything else, we’re not in a relationship. Fuck, I would never do that to her and you know that.”

No matter what Oikawa said, there isn’t an ounce of ease that falls on Iwaizumi. The ace knows how your tears fell for the blonde. How you managed to doubt every feature of yours and replace them thinking that she was the version of perfection you wanted to obtain. You weren’t close to perfect but in the eye of the two players— you were certainly close to it. Himari may have been the ideal you looked for but Iwaizumi stood behind to make sure you never question yourself again. Witnessing how you cried for her, he just can’t stand acting like an acquaintance to the girl who you thought was Oikawa’s new lover.

But there she was, seated at the back with her thoughts running to where you were.

Himari finally sees the importance of coming back to Japan within the minutes of being seated in the vehicle. It had been months since she met the setter and not a day passes where she could see the loneliness in his eyes but there were subtle hints of joy in his voice. Seeing him get excited about arranging the apartment, even asking her if the area was close to some locations where they could relax, had her wondering just how you were stuck in his heart.

At a certain moment, she enters the apartment Oikawa planned for the two of you to see him in the room clutched tightly on a pillow with tears in his eyes. It was the first time the apartment had been officially his and the first night he spent it with his usual choice of emotion— regret. She came in such a wrong time. Instead of being able to congratulate him in settling down in Argentina, she managed to sympathize with him instead. Then it began— the stories, the confessions, you. Everything that escaped his mouth that night all consisted of sentences dedicated to tell her how much of a mark you left on his life.

With the stories he told, she was excited to meet you. She wanted to hug you if you’d let her because she too was abandoned by a lover with another woman. She didn’t side with Oikawa when she found out that he was the reason, he received a smack to the head when she heard. It shouldn’t circle in her mind knowing you two were strangers but she never wanted anyone to go through the pain that she had passed. To think that Oikawa spoke so often of you yet he was the one to let your relationship part like he wanted to do, felt too ironic to believe.

So, she helped him. Remembering what she went through for her past half, she couldn’t handle seeing another pair withstand it. Especially when there was a chance to save it.

But the blind eye and weakened mindset is to blame for the misunderstanding.

“I’m sorry but do you think she’s just back at his apartment?” Himari asks but Iwaizumi shakes his head. He knew you too well. You always promised that if you were to leave, you’d always come back before 11pm because he’d never sleep properly if you were out of his sight. It was way pass 10 and he left the apartment at 9:40pm to meet with Oikawa, needing his assistance in finding you. Now it’s 10:17 and he’s yet to receive any messages from you which fed his anxiety.

He wanted to find you by himself but he knew how much Oikawa was begging the sky for you to meet with him again.

So, for the hundredth time, he forgets what his heart desired for him to do.

“There’s no way. Y/N should’ve been back now- fuck Oikawa what if she saw you?” Iwaizumi asks, his grip tightening more at the thought. The setter fiddled with his hands as the ace felt the weight of his worries. It was the worst thing that could happen but it became real without their acknowledgement.

With the possibility ringing in their heads, Oikawa steps into your shoes as he feels just how shattered your heart could’ve been if you saw him. Barely any time to explain himself or even get to be near you after a year of being away from you had his emotions tangled in knots but he needed to find a way to tame his and Iwaizumi’s fears.

“Hajime, calm down.” Oikawa tries— or at least begs him to do. It’s seen how his breaths weren’t under control and his usual composed figure was trembling with panic. If Iwaizumi fails to keep his mind straight, they’d be prone to danger.

“I can’t- you don’t understand!” He shouts as Tooru was taken aback by it, later his fists form a ball as he began to feel how unfair everything’s been. Hajime was underestimating Oikawa too much to the point that it looks like he wasn’t nearly as concerned.

“I don’t understand? I haven’t seen her in a fucking year and now she’s possibly missing and you don’t think I’m not losing my goddamn mind?” Oikawa argues back while Iwaizumi scoffs.

“Why didn’t you visit her then? Don’t tell me you weren’t ready while Y/N was ready to come back to you the moment you left!”

Again, he was dumbfounded.

He could never win against what was true.

He truly wasn’t. Booking a flight and packing was the easiest part there is but the words that ran through his mind weren’t sure if he’d ever voice it out. The confrontation, to see you so broken because of him? Who can be ready for such a thing?

He left without goodbyes, it’s a crime to come back and act like it didn’t happen.

Yet what he’s been so at rage at was the fact that you found sanctuary in Iwaizumis’ arms instead of his.

“You’re acting like you don’t fucking love her too!”

The way Oikawa’s voice echoed through the car made Iwaizumi’s heartbeat way louder than he expected.

He was trapped, wasn’t he?

Iwaizumi deeply let’s his decision sit in his mind before his mouth could release it from him. Would a scoff mirror his denial? Averting the topic would lead to the same impression but if he agrees- that draws a line for years long of friendship between him and Oikawa. Covering a lie is better than whole heartedly admitting how he’s grown attached to you, while the man who left you was still in love with you like he was. Trying to lie to himself and allowing the denial stick with him was a situation he’d never be able to escape.

The first time he’s ever loved someone turns into a war—battling with his morals and the person who’s fought by his side throughout the years.

But what would be the prize if he won?

“I know where she could be.” Oikawa suggests, his voice holding calmness but his mind let Iwaizumi’s silence in his previous comment rest in his mind. He couldn’t look at him because he understood why his own best friend would fall for you. He wasn’t oblivious to the time it took him to answer, or even how his eyes widened like a deer in headlights. He knew either way. The moment where Iwaizumi moved in with you- it was bound to happen because loving you is something that both boys will do until one of them bends a knee, even if one of them fails to be the first to do so.

“How are you sure she’d be there?” The young trainer asks as Oikawa sighs sadly when he reminisces to the time where he had met you on a little park on the way home. He figured that the way you looked that night was the same reaction you’d have if you saw him.

“What are you doing here?” Tooru asks, a curious yet worried tone in his voice. He watches you lift your head from your hands to look at him before tensing up when you realized who was standing in front of you. You quickly wiped your eyes as your stare remains anywhere but where he was.

“It’s nothing.” You whispered as he shakes his head before taking the seat next to you, looking at you while he wonders on how he can help even if he had no business to.

“You’d kill me if I say that your acting is a 5/10.” He jokes while you rolled your eyes, not needing the teases but what held you back from being arrogant was that you could feel how he wanted to stay with you.

“Whatever problem that is- I’m here if you ever need me.” Tooru says, his voice lowering showing how sincere he was with his words. Carrying burden on your shoulders isn’t to be face when you’re all alone so he was willing to take some of the heaviness if you let him.

“Thanks, Oikawa.” You said, looking at him with gratitude. He smiles before standing up with a hand extended for you to take while you stare at him with confusion.

“Tooru. It’s better that way.” He says while you smile fondly taking his hand while you stand up, taking the spot beside him.

You were thankful that he didn’t bother to ask what caused this breakdown and he chose to let his presence do the comfort you really needed.

“What’s your favorite food?” You look at him with an eyebrow raised as he waits for your answer. With the endless choices you had to pick one— which was a struggle but you had to respond.

“It’s F/F.”

“Then I’ll take you to the place that serves the best of it.”

He shakes his head before looking at Iwaizumi while the other boy sighs, choosing to trust Oikawa. He was in another realization that there were still missing parts of your relationship that you haven’t told him and it makes him feel like a cast away but he had no other option.

“We have to try and go to that location.” Himari suggests making Hajime sigh knowing trying is the only way to lead you back to him. He gestures for Oikawa to tell him the where while he listens intently on the details. Finding himself familiar with the place, he sighs in relief when he realizes it was a place located near the path you’d take home in your high school days.

But why was he nervous?

Every part of him was aching with anxiety even if he trusted Oikawa. Tooru knows more about you than Iwaizumi but the ace felt as if he was too close to finally knowing you the way the captain did. He was close to landing a soft spot in your heart- perhaps he’s already earned it but there’s still that worry that even if he tries, it wouldn’t alter.

What if he sees you all bruised up? What if your clothes were ripped and how could he continue to act like it wasn’t his fault he let you wander alone? Though he feels like you’d scold him when you find out he’s laid the blame upon himself.

He just thinks about how he wanted things to be different from the way it was now.

Iwaizumi believed Oikawa, he truly did yet there was a sickening voice in his mind that badly wanted the false accusation to be true but this selfishness was put aside when he knew that this was something you wished the gods for.

He swallows it hard. The truth that was meant to break no matter the circumstance.

He may be someone you needed but Oikawa was and always will come before him.

“Moving in with her? How easy do you think this will be?” Iwaizumi asks, his phone held tightly in his hands while Oikawa bites his lip, thinking of ways to make sure he can convince his best friend to help him.

“I’ve set everything. I just need you to help me out on this one.” Oikawa begs while Iwaizumi lets out a scoff followed by his eyes rolling at the dismay. It’s unbelievable how the setter thinks making you agree to this crazy idea was going to be a breeze- a walk in the park even. Imagining you just willingly accepting this offer with bags packed and little to no fighting- it seems like a different version of you. Iwaizumi knew that you deeply missed Oikawa but it didn’t mean you were always ready to face him. He’s seen instances where you’ve mistaken a man to be Tooru but your initial choice is to hold onto the ace and hid behind him. He feels how tense your grip was, probably in fear that Oikawa was there and that made him realize that you’ve yet to gather the confidence to meet him.

“I’ll be home soon and I know it’s going to be difficult but... please Iwa.”

“Do you think this is what she wants?” Hajime asks, wishing that his answer wasn’t what he was expecting. He knows how Oikawa’s efforts will be nothing if he lets all of this go but then again, this was too absurd to happen without fail.

And Iwaizumi can’t bear to let you go this quick.

“I love her, Hajime. This is what we’ve always wanted to do— be with each other. Now, I know I fucked up and this may not be the best decision but if I let her walk away again then who am I to say that I love her in the first place?”

“The problem is that you walked away first, Oikawa. Do you think I’d like to see her be in the same amount of fucking pain you gave her throughout the year? I’m not letting her move in with you when not even half of your problems are fucking solved,” he pauses trying to catch his breath but then there it was— the selflessness that he didn’t want to appear because you can’t be selfish when you're not even his to begin with.

“But if she wants to go... I can’t stop her, can I?”

“Take a turn here.” Oikawa directs as Hajime follows suit. Upon seeing the familiar street, he relaxes a little. Tooru then steps out just as Iwaizumi turns off the engine.

“I’ll check first.” the boy declares while Iwaizumi sighs, leaning on the seat. Himari wonders if she should follow him, not that it bothered her to stay behind, but seeing Oikawa in a rush with a hazy mind doesn’t mean he’d be able to calm down. Iwaizumi could feel her worry so he speaks.

“You can go but if you get lost, message me.”

Himari stays still for a second. It occurs to her they haven’t shared a single conversation and the nerves of intimidation shows itself. The moment she entered the car, she knew there was something more than just tension. Talking to him like there wasn’t that field of uneasiness was difficult.

Because she knows that he loves you too.

“Thank you but can I ask you something?” she asks while Iwaizumi shifts his body to look at her and pay some mind to what she’s going to say.

“Is she mad at me?”

The boy was more than surprised to hear it from her.

“I have a feeling she knows or if she doesn’t, I don’t want to be looked as the girl who took the person she loves.” She confesses softly while Iwaizumi remained silent letting the words sink in his mind. The blonde smiles at him fondly realizing that her outburst completely left him stunned.

“I like Y/N. Whether you believe me or not, Oikawa talks about her too much and I would love to get the chance to see her without rivalry. I just feel like—with the idea of me and that dumbass being together for a year, it really doesn’t sound comforting to think of.”

“You will meet but I can’t lie and say that you didn’t leave an impression on her.” Iwaizumi says, the past tension disappearing when he realizes that she really wasn’t what the photo made her to be. He wishes he could tell you just how much of a person Himari was other than the girl you’d want to be.

The girl sighs but accepts it knowing it wasn’t alien to her to understand what you could possibly feel.

“Guess I’ll be finding that asshole for a while.” She says and Iwaizumi nods but there was a question that he let pass his mouth.

“How come you like her that much?”

Himari smiles as she stares at the sky before looking back at the boy left in the car.

“She reminds me of my girlfriend.”

With that sentence and the ace’s jaw to the floor of a reaction, she lets out a laugh before opening the door and exiting the vehicle and an obviously flustered Iwaizumi.

“Y/N?” Oikawa calls out for the seventh time as he stands still for a second, his legs burning from running in circles. He pants but he decides that there was no other option but to keep going.

Anything that it takes to love you more than he ever could.

“You and me, right?”

“Come back to me.” He whispers, resembling you last year with one of your desperate attempts in his voice messages.

Then the tears formed while his energy was deafening.

“I’m so sorry.” He mutters, hiding his face in his hands as he lets the guilt him harder than it did compared to Argentina. You were here— a location away and he was growing more and more scared at the thought if you out this without a trace of evidence that you were safe though that issue was one of his biggest concerns but what follows it is that the hope that he gathered was dying.

“Are you?”

Just as his eyes landed on your distant figure, his legs were glued to the floor.

Move! Fuck- I need to hold her but why can’t I move?

“Oikawa.” You called out to him, to confirm that your tears weren’t mistaking him for another person. You heard him but perhaps you needed more than just that. This is Oikawa. The person you’ve waited for, cried for, loved for how many years, yet both of your feet didn’t bother to step forward.

Were you waiting for someone else?

“Y/N.” Then his feet gave in, leading them to you as well as a pair of arms whose waited nothing else then to feel this sensation again. He buries his face in your shoulder, tears dampening your shirt as he held you tightly with his sobs resonating in your ear but your arms never reacted to him.

But you broke down as well.

You couldn’t believe it. He was here, embracing you with every ounce of love he gives you but you stood there like your heart didn’t endlessly wail for him but numbness seems to have sided with victory this time.

At the time where you needed to speak, the words that you wished served as an embrace transformed into a weapon.

“Tooru, I need you to let go.” you whispered softly while he shook his head, sobbing harder when he ponders on the fear that holds him down. Was this the last time? The everlasting moment where he could show you his regret while he begs you to continue an ever after with him?

Was he just meant to circle the world without you?

“If I move to a certain place, will you follow me?” He asks as his hands continues to caress your cheek while you smiled at him, before letting your own hand run through his brown locks. He closes his eyes before wrapping his arms around your waist, his slow breaths calming you both noticing how exhausted he was.

“Anywhere you go, as long as I’m with you, I’ll follow.”

“You promise?” he whispers, not letting his eyes open as he lets his imagination take him to countries that the both of you could visit and a tiny smile falls on his face when he realizes that he’d be able to travel around the world with a person who he’ll be seeing at the end of the altar.

“Of course, Tooru.”

When he meant that it’d always be you and him, it was partially true.

But the saying didn’t mean you’d always be together.

So, it’s always you and him- against each other's heart since the world you promised each other has faded.

“Y/N, if I let you go, are you going to return?”

“I held on, didn’t I? What’s there to return to, Oikawa?”

“I’m so sorry.” But what he does next strikes a heavy hit to your heart as he lands on his knees, with his hands covering his face as he cries when he knew that an apology was the least cure that there is to mend an unfixable heart.

“Oikawa, stand up.” he shakes his head as he began to continuously apologize but all you wanted was to let the silence consume him. You hated this. You knew Oikawa was in pain too but seeing him in the same position you were in made your heart sting at how he cried in front of you when you knew he hated that you could see him like this.

“Babe? Hey- Tooru? I’m right here.” You asked him as you rushed to his side while he wipes his eyes immediately before putting on a smile as you hand him his towel, patting it down on his forehead. He looks at you as his eyes gather another batch of tears when he sees how worried you looked.

He hates it when you see him cry.

Though he doesn’t mind being vulnerable, this was a side of him that stayed at rock-bottom and the efforts he made to come back at the top had been attempts that made him stay longer.

After patting his sweat, you looked at him as he was shaking at the mix of emotions of the outcome of the match with Shiratorizawa. He avoids eye contact with you as his tears fell on the gym floor.

“Tooru.” you whispered as you cup his cheeks taking him by surprise as he stares at your loving eyes while you send him a smile, catching the tears that were streaming down. He leans into your touch and maybe his efforts of trying to leave rock-bottom weren’t all wasted.

Especially, when your hand was ready for him to take just as the bottom of the pit began to win him over.

“I love you.” It was only three words that could’ve carried more but to Oikawa, it was all he wanted to hear because you love for him spoke more than just those three. You meant it in every way that he can understand.

Because with a simple confession of love, it was already enough to lead the defeat away from him.

“And I love you more.”

You crouch down as you tried to make him stand up but instead, he remained on the floor making you cry even more when you realized he leaned his weight on his bad knee, making you look away and choosing to hold his arm in order to hoist him up as you wept for him.

“Oikawa stand up!” You yelled but he looked up to see the endless flow of your tears as he shakes his head, disobeying your orders while your heart crumbles when he reaches his hand to your cheek, holding it fragilely as he stares at you with the same amount of pain you held in front of him.

When million words were needed, the silence chose to speak for itself.

Don’t you love me anymore? Oikawa thinks as he continues to watch the love of his life fall under the solitude he caused.

I love you with everything I have, but what can guarantee that it’s enough for me to stay when the pain is twice as the amount?

“Why are you here, Tooru?” You asked him as he uses his finger to wipe away the tear that was bound to fall, as a sad smile tugs on his lips.

“I’m here for you, Y/N. Only you.” Oikawa answers as he averts his eyes to the ground while your hands form into a fist because you already accepted the fact that he belonged to someone else, even if it made you throw away the memories in his car just to face the harsh reality.

Besides, the street lights didn’t lead you to him anymore.

“Stop lying to me. It shouldn’t be me anymore.” He lets his blurry eyes portray the betrayal that pulsated through his body as he repeatedly shakes head, refusing to believe that those words came from you. He didn’t fly here to confuse himself with his priorities. You were the only reason- hearing you say that you were the least of his intentions had him wondering the depths of his mistakes.

“It’s always been you and no one else! I came back for you- to fix this- us, Y/N! I-I'm so sorry!”

“IS THAT ALL YOU’RE GONNA SAY TO ME?”

The volume of your voice startled him when he sees your hand clutching tightly on your shirt as you stood up and the apple of your cheeks colored in frustration.

“Am I ever going to get an explanation on why the person that I loved left me without goodbye? Am I just going to hear you apologize for hours and not a single answer is given to me? Oikawa- I waited- I want to forgive you so fucking badly but I’m expecting more than an apology without you telling me why you did it!” You didn’t mean to raise your voice to such an extent but the answer you waited for a year was yet to be given a response.

Hearing his pleas brought an emotion you weren’t familiar with. You expected that he would apologize but at first you didn’t know why it gave you disappointment instead of satisfaction. Surely, you wanted to hear it- let it replay in your ears for as long as you wished but that wasn’t enough to patch up a heart that’s been through more than just a slice in the middle.

“And why did it have to be the last time that we were happy?” You asked him with your voice purely showing the torment you go through when you remember the last night that scarred your emotions. How was he able to leave after a night of serenity? Were his laughs all a cover up his plan of leaving you as fast as he could?

“Please answer me, Tooru.” You begged but it came as a whisper when you aggressively wiped your eyes that were exhausted and tempted to close.

Oikawa bites his lip but takes a deep breath before letting his words decide the outcome.

“I lost grip on what I wanted to do. After that match- and all of the things that I couldn’t stop thinking about- everything was messy. An escape and a way to find that passion again were my options to get this sick feeling over.”

“But I was never in those options, wasn’t I?” he grips the fabric of his sweats beside him as he avoids your glistening eyes knowing how agonizing it was to hear it from him that you had been pushed to the dark corners of his mind like a forgotten idea.

“Are you sure, honey? This is unlikely of you to be spontaneous in this way.” his mother comments, her hand falling on top of her sons' hand. Oikawa smiles at her softly, sending a nod to his father as well. He knew his family was going to supportive no matter what, he was a star after all but he knew they were worried about him. A country with immense culture that he’s yet to learn about is a whole other experience but he felt as if it was the decision that could hold all the victories he wanted to earn.

“What about Y/N? Why don’t you take her with you? School is finished and it’d be a great step for you two as a couple, Tooru.” He sighs heavily, placing his hands on his lap as he lets the question wonder over this head.

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Y/N-”

“And I guess contacting me wasn’t a good idea either?” You continued, the flare of rage igniting more as all of the excuses you made for yourself for his indecency have been made clear that it was his choice in leaving you in the past.

“How could you! You- fuck Oikawa!” You shouted as you felt your body shrivel with the anger as he tries to hold you but you pushed him away as the nearby stop lights painted the night a shade of red that resembled equal parts of anger and love.

“What was that for?” You asked him with a giggle as he smothers your hand with gentle pecks. During a red light, it became a habit for him to show you affection while you wait for it to turn green. You always drove late together so when the streets weren’t occupied, his voice would echo through the air when he shouts your name with a declaration of how much he loves you, or sometimes he’d steal kisses catching you off guard like he’s doing now.

“Well, it’s obvious that you didn’t complain babe.” He teases as you lean closer, giving him a subtle kiss on his temple making him blush instantly. He smiles at you before taking your hand and landing a peck to your ring finger as your heartbeat picks up an irregular pattern while the light turns green, his brown eyes leaving yours.

“Now, what about that?” You asked him while he fixates his focus on the road ahead but his dream with you causes him to smile like the lovesick fool that he was.

“In case I couldn’t do it in the future.”

“Fuck you for leaving and acting like I wasn’t here! You and your girl-”

“Oikawa?”

When your eyes landed on a familiar blonde, the chances of saying those three words once again began to disappear.

“Y/N?”

And with the sound of her voice, everything became blurry when you remember the way she looked next to him with a smile.

“I’m Himari.” she introduces herself while taking cautious of her words when she sees the drop in your features. She hesitates to take a step forward knowing the mind who misunderstood was sharper than hers.

“And you brought your girlfriend.” you said with another sigh of exhaustion and when Himari hears this sentence she immediately knew what impression she had left from Iwaizumi’s words. She takes a step forward making you lower your head, not wanting to be near the person who was the main focus of Oikawa for a year but there wasn’t an ounce of spite that was directed to her.

“Y/N, we’re not dating.” Oikawa assures you, mimicking Himari’s actions, hoping that he could hold onto your hand and change your mind which he knew it was a little too late when his conversation with his best friend resonates through his ears.

“What do you think? She’s fucking crying again.”

“We are not dating, I promise. I helped him for you to settle in Argentina.”

Argentina?

“Oikawa- what does she mean I’ll be settling?”

The silence on the side opposite to you has never been louder. Oikawa and Himari share a look while you stood there with more than confusion that was mixing in your range of emotions. Your eyes dart between him and the girl while the beats of their heart began to speed up, not because of their own panic, but for you. Himari then awakens from the absurd idea she was brought into. Being in this tense atmosphere, she knew it was the wrong move all along but it seems to strike her more when she sees the way the flow of your tears didn’t alter.

“Tooru, answer me.”

“He didn’t tell you.” Oikawa says making Himari groan and before she could approach you, she sees a figure running your way.

“Y/N!” Iwaizumi shouts before he engulfs you in his arms while there was a wave of relief that overcomes you as you immediately reciprocate his embrace as he caresses your hair and holds you tight. The worry in him dissolves when he ran and saw that you had zero injuries but when he saw your puffed cheeks and sore eyes, he wanted nothing more than to hold you when he realized the two were stood in front of you.

“Thank fuck you’re okay, please never leave me like that again.” He whispers while you nod and within this moment, you found a way to breathe properly as Hajime continues to keep you near him but when his eyes landed on Oikawa’s defeated orbs, he pulls away gently.

Himari saw how one of them had their heart sewn back together while the other one shattered.

“You didn’t tell her?” Oikawa asks while your head turns to Iwaizumi who had his eyebrows raised but he looked at your confused expression and realizes he was pertaining to the issue of moving together. As you cautiously watch his features, you take a step away from him, standing in the middle of the two boys.

“Iwa, you knew?”

Fuck. The situation he was in felt like a twist of fate. When the idea was brought to him, he wasn’t planning to go on about it but this was Oikawa. The boy he grew up with, shared his dreams and weaknesses, and the one who reminded him that a burden should never be carried alone.

“I’m not going to lose to you, Oikawa.”

“That’s good to hear, Iwa-chan.”

But then you came and suddenly the competition grew into something more, a level that could end up having gold or having nothing when it came down to the winner.

“So, you two just accepted the fact that I’m willing to forget that he left and live with him that easily?” The two players remain silent even Himari chose to avoid barging in on a matter that only included the three of you but it did pain her to watch this unfold. She wonders how you carry this amount of pain and betrayal. It’s evident that the two have more than just a special place in your life.

It’s as if your heart wasn’t just yours anymore.

“Y/N, I wasn’t going to let you go just like that.” Hajime says but then he held back a few words that he knew would change everything for the three of you but it seems as if there already was a cut in the unity.

“Tooru, what did you do?” After hearing his answers, nothing became clear. There were missing details and words that you wished you could hear from him. With the surprise of moving to Argentina- it felt as if you were stuck in you and Oikawa’s past dream of travelling the world. This was one of the promises that could’ve stayed if not for the terrible timing. To witness the beauty of the different countries with Oikawa could’ve been a moment in your life where there was nothing but pure bliss and admiration for each other- which then turned into isolation.

“Back in Brazil, I had Himari help me with everything we needed to move in together. I thought that this would’ve been the chance for us to be together again- to have you with me and make up for all my mistakes. I know you’ve had enough with my promises so I’m not making more. I’m doing whatever it takes because I love you so much, Y/N.”

“Where did that love go, Oikawa?”

Perhaps that love was replaced by fear, especially when he can see his own reflection on Iwaizumi.

“Y/N,” the setter approaches you with care as he holds your hand, almost letting his doubts run him over when the idea of you letting go strikes his mind. He then looks at you which made you hold your breath when his eyes brought you to a memory you chose to forget.

“I love you, you know?”

“Why are you speechless?” Tooru asks while he stops walking to gaze at your flustered reaction. He then smiles before standing in front of you and places his hand on the crown of your head.

“Does that mean that I don’t show much I love you?” You shook your head while his previous words rang in your ears like your favorite song and looking at him now, your heart is overjoyed with your own love for the boy.

Taking him by surprise, you wrapped your arms around his neck attacking him in a tight embrace with an irreplaceable smile while he laughs and takes your waist by the arm muttering the same three words that he said earlier. Oikawa twirls you around while you returned the feeling.

“I love you more, Tooru!” He puts you down before cupping your cheeks with his hands as he savors the look in your eyes that only held him in it. He lowers his head as you didn’t hesitate to close the space between you and him.

But what is the same man that was in front of you?

“Iwaizumi, let’s give them some space.” Himari suggests, softly tugging on Iwaizumi’s sleeve. With hesitation, he still agreed but his eyes lingered on you who was held by Oikawa and with the sight of it had him let your words resonate in his ears as his heart silently bawls.

“Don’t fall in love with my broken pieces, Hajime. You deserve someone who is- complete.”

I’m too late, Y/N.

Himari who held onto his arm, stopped walking when she sees the longing stare that Iwaizumi’s eyes held for you. She could sense that every part of his body desired to be close to yours and catch you over and over again just to be with you. She smiles fondly when she realizes that she must’ve looked like this in the past- sick in love without a trace of fear to do anything for the person you adored but what did it feel to fight for your heart against his own best friend?

“But if she wants to go... I can’t stop her, can I?”

I want to try even if it isn’t me.

“Hate me, punch me for leaving, go on. Call me stupid and more but not being yours is the worst thing there is to say.” Tooru begins, long breaths within pauses to ensure his honesty is apparent in every word he speaks because he needed to make ends meet knowing this was the only solution to find his way back to you.

And with an open heart, you listened.

No matter how many times he’s scarred you, you believed that he was still the same Tooru that cured the pain.

So when he held your cheek in both his hands, you saw nothing more than the boy you would love all over again.

“I am more than sorry for everything that I’ve done but I know that those aren’t the words you waited to hear. It’s my fault and to think that deciding without you knowing or even contacting you after I left are just actions that I regret everyday. I’ll accept if you don’t forgive me— I understand and it’s only right for me to deserve it but it doesn’t mean I won’t try for us to be together again.” He rests his forehead on yours as you silently let the tears land on his hands as he whimpers, closing his eyes as he finds it harder and harder to maintain his pace of breathing while you didn’t dare to open your eyes and look at the weeping boy.

“I c-can’t change what I did but I want you to know that within that year—being without you was more than I can take. So, if you let me hold you just for a while, then maybe I-“ He couldn’t even bare to finish his own sentence when his sobs interfered with him as you could feel the way his hands felt weaker against your skin but he held it with all his emotions.

But when your arms began to wrap around his neck with your chin to his shoulder, his heartbeat took a leap but he instantly wraps his own around your waist as he sobs into your shoulder while another person watched in sorrow.

“I can’t forget what you did but holding you is more than I wished for, Tooru.” He smiles slightly as he closes his eyes and embraces your warmth that he craved for as your thoughts ran with the seconds that passed. He strokes your hair with his hands as your heart nearly aches at how gentle he was as if every action would lead to another permanent stain on you but you held onto him more when you felt the familiar ache pulse through your body. The nostalgia it gave you holding him like this leads you to feel the past embraces he’d give after every game, after every melt down, and after every argument. He may not be able to express his repenting with mere sentences but what you knew is that with every action he does is covered in the stories he failed to tell. After all, he’s your Tooru Oikawa. The boy who gave you every ounce of love and joy even if brought you to your knees, even if the promises turned to dust. So, letting your words course through him, he subtly pulls away and looks at you with a smile as you took a few steps back.

And with a few more heavy steps of decision, you grabbed his hand, interlacing it with yours as your hesitation lies under your skin.

But your heart was certain as it is.

—

The sun rose as you stretched, the immediacy of silence creeping around your room as you watched the clouds showcase the beaming colors of its rays. Smiling with bliss, you step out of your bed and began to run your usual motives. With your clothes all pampered and ready, you wore them with pride as you looked at yourself in the mirror with a photo to the side as another flutter of a heartbeat came your way.

Dialing his number, his voice came in a second later as the glee in your heart overflows at the sound of him.

“Congratulations, Tooru! God, you were amazing and words cannot express how proud I am of you!” You cheered as the boy cries over the phone with the medal hanging on his neck with his tears decorating his cheeks as you too shed a few tears seeing him succeed over the television. Seeing him shine in the lights, displaying his winning smile as he was embraced by his fellow teammates was a view that had you let out a few shouts of exhilaration knowing this has been his dream that you supported throughout everything. He truly deserved it.

“I wish you were here but fuck thank you so much.” He says with a never-ending smile as you looked at the photo on your mirror making your heart chase the happiness that it gave you to see him like this. Glancing on a familiar vehicle park outside the building, you let out a laugh before speaking once again.

“Let’s make up for lost time.” You suggested, making the length of his smile grow as he too looks at a photo present in front of him. With two hearts lured into serenity, there wasn’t a moment more perfect than this.

“I’d like that.” Oikawa replies as you continued to put on your shoes.

“Are you good to go?” he asks as you answered a short yes before grabbing your things, and leaving the apartment as you pressed the phone to your ear to listen further.

“I’ll see you real soon.” Tooru says with a certain tease in his tone as you let out a chuckle before pressing the button to end the call.

As you walked to the car, you could feel the excitement rushing to you as he opens the door for you as you bid him a smile as he steps into the drivers seat and the love-struck boy wonders if the passenger seat has looked this bright. Seeing you in the afterglow as the sun entered the vehicle, covering you in the rays of it made his heart grew the prettiest flowers.

“What’s wrong?” you asked as he shook his head before leaning closer to land a peck to your cheek, pushing aside a strand of hair just to tuck behind your ear as your cheeks grew into the hue of love as his own orbs displayed a deeper amor than before.

“I love you that’s all.” He confesses making you smile as you intertwine your hands in his as he presses a firm kiss on it and with his free hand he turns on the engine. Turning his head so his eyes met your loving ones, he speaks.

“Ready for our drive?”

“As ready as I can be, Hajime.”

Taglist: @dekuspet @splaterparty0-0 @jihyunnxtooru @sakusakei-omi

#oikawa tooru #hq oikawa #oikawa x reader #oikawa fic #oikawa toru x reader #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa imagine #toru oikawa #Iwaizumi Hajime #hajime iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu iwaizumi #hq iwaizumi #Aoba Johsai #aoba jōsai #haikyuu tooru #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyu x reader

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nose-bandaid · 4 years

Text

the moon told me so ☾~

Wonwoo x (gender neutral) Reader | soulmate AU angst | 4.5k words

synopsis: in a world where you and your soulmate share a special marking that appears on one’s body at the age of 18 or later. you were wonwoo’s, but wonwoo was no one’s, and you were the fool who didn’t say a word about it. alternatively:

you are in love with jeon wonwoo, but jeon wonwoo isn’t ready to love yet.

a/n: i uh, feel kinda shy posting this lmao but i hope you enjoy:))

sequel: the little flower on your wrist and the epilogue: kairosclerosis

=====

“When are you going to tell him?”

“Tell who?”

Seungkwan sighed and gave you a knowing look. “Wonwoo, who else would I be talking about?”

“I don’t have anything I need to say to him.” You muttered into the warm knitted scarf wrapped around your neck. The snow fell gently around you in large clumps — the kids on your street were sure to be delighted when they wake up to that. It wouldn’t be long before you started seeing snowmen pop up one by one, all with little carrots and hats decorating them, giving them life. However, to you, the snow only added to the weight in your heart. The peaceful, yet lonely atmosphere made you want to curl back into your bed and sleep your sadness away. And then you could hope that maybe when you woke up, all of your problems would be solved.

Yes, that sounded like a much better option, compared to standing around in the cold weather, waiting for a late taxi. But you promised him that you would show up today. As much as you didn’t want to, you weren’t one to break the promises you made. Promises were meant to be kept.

And so, you woke up at a horrid 4 am today and dressed yourself with the best outfit your sluggish mind could think of. All to make sure that you were at the airport on time, just for him.

“Y/n... this might be your last chance. I mean, this is already terribly last minute for you to do so, but we also have no idea when he’ll come back.” Seungkwan’s voice softened when he noticed your stressed demeanour.

“Listen, I know, okay? I’ll tell him today, I’ve been preparing what to say for the past week. I just... I just need to get myself together, that’s all.” The words spilled out of your mouth as you tried to get him to stop nagging.

Before you could get a response, the taxi pulled up in front of you, and you busied yourself with getting a seat in the back while Seungkwan relayed the destination to the driver. He then took a seat in the passenger’s side, leaving you alone in the back with the little present you brought with you by your side.

The whole car ride was silent, minus the soft music that played from the radio — some kind of ambient jazz that only made the atmosphere even more awkward. You fidgeted with the bracelet dangling on your wrist and looked out the window, the yellow beads clinking against each other to add some noise to the silence. The buildings passed by with a blur, and every so often you would come across a location that prompted a treasured memory in you.

The mall that you and Wonwoo would visit almost everyday during middle school. Your parents weren’t the fondest of the idea that you guys were going there so often, but you went either way. There was ice cream to be eaten, game demos to be played, outfits (that you could definitely not afford) to try on, and snacks to be bought.

The arcade that you so daringly visited when you were supposed to be in class. It was Mingyu who had suggested the idea, as a joke, but everyone started getting on board with it and soon you were roped into the adventure too. None of you guys were really the type to skip school, the thought just never visited your mind, and you had other things to worry about. On that day though, you decided to let yourself be just the slightest bit free, and with a little convincing, you got Wonwoo of all people, to come along too.

That day was a blast, the thrill of rebellion, the refreshing taste of freedom, even the stuffiness of the arcade was bearable — your uniform was far too warm for the environment. Miraculously, there was no big punishment for your absence when you returned, just a light scolding, and that simply heightened the excitement of the day. You never pulled such an act ever again, but you most definitely held that memory dear to your heart. Because on that day, Wonwoo’s smiles were almost a thousand times brighter than usual.

Your eyes flickered between the trees that trickled their way into your view, and they steadily grew in numbers to paint a forest in front of you. Though their leaves were barren and their branches were heavy with snow, all you could think of were the lush green forests that surrounded the cottage you visited almost a year ago. The one that you and your friends rented out, the one that housed some of the happiest moments in your life, the one that echoed some of the loudest laughs ever, the one that kept you warm under the cool night, as you snuggled into each other’s arms.

The one that witnessed your life fall apart.

-----

You remembered that dreary day, when Wonwoo pulled you aside from the others and into a little alcove in the forest nearby, a nervous look painted on his face. Your friend group had decided to spend the warm weekend at the cottage to celebrate Wonwoo’s birthday and new soulmate mark. They all insisted that it was tradition to host an all-out celebration for the occasion, despite the boy’s refusals. If they celebrated for the others, they had to celebrate for him as well.

You were all about to head to the beach for a swim before barbecuing some dinner, the weather was a comfortable mix of the warm sun and the cool breeze. It should’ve been perfect.

Let’s put an emphasis on should’ve.

When you finished changing, before you could catch up to the others who were already dunking themselves into the frigid water, laughter getting lost in the vast forest, Wonwoo stopped you at the front door with a gentle grip on your arm. From the looks of it, he’d been waiting for you for a while.

“Hey y/n... could we talk for a minute?”

And that question brought you to a wooden bench in a small clearing, hidden away from the others’ sight. The sunlight filtered through the leaves above, casting a delicate pattern around you. The air of uneasiness between you two was so contrasting to the mood a few moments ago, that you were immediately filled with worry. The last time you saw Wonwoo, he was laughing his head off with Mingyu and Seokmin over a stupid dad joke that someone made. Now, there was no trace of that former carefree personality.

“Wonwoo what’s up? Is something wrong?”

He bit his lip, clearly deep in thought. “You know how I’m supposed to be getting my mark tomorrow?”

You nodded. “Yeah, that’s why we all came here to celebrate right? Is it too much for you? I can tell the others to cool off on the partying, I know they can be overwhelming.”

“No it’s not that, I don’t mind it. It’s just... I’m honestly not so sure about this whole soulmate thing.” His voice was small and his shoulder tensed as he awaited your response.

“Like, you’re worried about the mark not showing up tomorrow?”

“No, I’m worried that I won’t be able to love my soulmate the way I’m supposed to.” He clarified, a bit firmer now.

Your heart stopped.

“Well,” You you pursed your lips as your mind raced to gather the best way to respond. “You could always just tell them right? That you’re not ready for a relationship, I’m sure they would understand.”

“But what if I’m never ready?” His confidence had suddenly disappeared, and you could feel that he was getting panicky, so you rested a gentle hand on his thigh to calm him down. “That feels so unfair to them. Like I’m going against fate.”

You swallowed back the emotions building up in your throat. You were hoping for the already low chance that he would be your soulmate, that maybe the stars would be in your favour and offer you an easy happy ending of some sort. After all these years together, you felt that there was almost no way that you couldn’t be paired together in some way. But now, even if you were soulmates, Wonwoo had just denied the only possibility for you to get together. Romantically, at least. Which was unfortunately, what you’ve been hoping for all this time.

“You could always just be friends right? There’s some people out there who just decide to be friends and there’s nothing wrong with that. Soulmates aren’t always about romantic love.” It was the best you could offer. You were fine with pushing back your feelings for him if it meant that he’ll be happy with his decision. The last thing you wanted to do was force your love onto him.

“Yeah but do you really know anyone who’s done that? Y/n, everyone around us started dating their soulmate the moment they found them. They’re going to come to me with that mindset and I’m going to have to shut them down.” He paused. “The person that they’ve been searching for all their lives will be shutting them down. Don’t you think that’s harsh on my part? That I should just suck it up and get together with them?”

“Wonwoo, I can’t speak up on behalf of your soulmate,” You choked back the pitiful laugh building up in your throat. “but if they’re supposed to be the perfect match for you, I think they would try their best to understand your feelings, because you deserve to be matched with one of the kindest people in the world.”

He didn’t take his gaze off the pebbles his shoes prodded at, and you took that as a sign to continue.

“With that said, let’s just enjoy today, and all the other days to come as we wait for your soulmate. And when they come along, we’ll take things one step at a time, and work through the problem as it plays along. Worrying about it beforehand isn’t going to do you any good, don’t you agree? That’s what you told me before right?”

Wonwoo slowly nodded and slipped his hands back onto his lap. “You’re right, I’m worrying too much about something that hasn’t happened to me yet. What if I don’t even get my mark this year? I won’t be able to totally forget the problem, but I’ll try my best to put it aside for now.” He smiled softly to himself, and you patted his shoulder.

“That’s the spirit! So you wanna go back to the others and go for a swim? If you’re up to it?”

“Yeah, I think that would be nice. Thanks for listening, y/n.” He got up from the bench and offered you a hand which you gratefully took. Silence settled between you too as you made your way out of the forest and back to the beach. The others were quick to notice you and began eagerly calling for you guys to jump in. Before you gave in to their persistent requests, you paused for a moment and started talking again.

“Oh, and Wonwoo?”

He stopped a few steps ahead of you and turned around. “Yeah?” He looked much lighter than he did a few moments ago, but for some reason, your heart broke a little at his happiness.

You gave him a downcast smile, and if he sensed the dismal tone in your voice, he didn’t say anything about it. “Just know that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to love your soulmate platonically. I have a good feeling they’ll understand.”

Maybe you had gotten a bit ahead of yourself that day by assuming that you were going to be soulmates. No matter how much you felt that connection in your heart, Wonwoo himself never showed any signs of feeling it too. This whole thinking-that-he-was-your-soulmate-before-it-was-even-confirmed thing could’ve just been your mind being a mix of delusional and hopeful. But you said what you said, and it’s not like he noticed any of your hints anyways.

And it’s not like he ever will notice.

------

The next day, you woke up with a tight arm wrapped around your waist and the sun shining on your face. If it was any other day, you would’ve simply closed your eyes and fallen back asleep without caring so much about what time it was, but thankfully you had enough sense in you to remember the date.

July 17th.

Lifting your head fully off the pillow, you followed the arm hugging you to find Chan, buried underneath a soft blanket, still snoring away. Nudging him lightly, he stirred and moved his arm to rub his eyes, freeing you.

“Morning, Chan.” You poked his nose.

He let out a few incoherent mumbles before opening his eyes and looking at you. “What?”

“It’s Wonwoo’s birthday we gotta wake up and get the others.”

“Can’t we do that in a few minutes?” He whined, and tried to return to his pillow, but you were quicker, and pulled him into a sitting position.

“No we can’t, silly, we have things to do before he wakes up.” After a little bit of bickering between you two, you finally managed to convince him to get up and he left to go take a shower. You let out a quiet sigh. One down.

Turning to the couch nearby you looked at Jun who was still sleeping soundly.

11 more to go...

By the time everyone woke up and the celebration kicked off, it was already late morning and you all settled on ordering some pizza for lunch and a couple of the boys left to pick up the food (being located in a remote cottage made it a little difficult for a pizza guy to come here out of the blue). As you waited for the food, everyone went about and did their own things to kill the time, and you found Wonwoo sitting alone on the porch. Joining him, you gave him a playful punch on the shoulder and smirked.

“Hey there, birthday boy.”

He returned the smile with little enthusiasm and you could tell a lot was on his mind.

“Everything good? You’re not worrying about your soulmate are you?” You asked.

Wonwoo averted his eyes from your gaze. “I’m just thinking about it a little bit.”

“So...” You tried your best to play it cool. “I guess what we’re all wondering is whether you’ve gotten your mark or not?”

You could’ve just dropped the topic and not asked him, more for your own good than his, because you would surely lose it if you spent another minute thinking about your soulmate. On the other hand, it would’ve been a little selfish if you chose to completely ignore the whole getting your mark on your birthday thing, but let’s be honest — what were you going to do after seeing it? Some things are better left unknown, and yet, you asked him anyways.

He hesitated for a moment before rolling up the sleeve of the hoodie he was wearing. The sun was bright outside and the humidity was definitely at a high, he must’ve been absolutely melting in that outfit, but now you knew why he dressed so conservatively today. “Yeah, I did.”

He angled himself towards you and you stared at the moon crescent just below his wrist. In place of the stars usually found in the sky, small flowers were scattered here and there. It was a beautiful, yet simple design.

Unconsciously you crossed your legs and rubbed your ankle, where the exact same design sat, hidden underneath the socks you always wore.

“That design really suits you.”

It was all you could choke out without giving anything away. No matter how hard you tried, nothing could stop the rush of emotions building up in your throat. You wanted to scream out loud, you wanted to cry out to Wonwoo, because what the hell did you do to deserve this fate? Out of all the people in the world, why did it have to be him? Why did it have to be you? You were losing it.

And so you fled. Like the fool you were, you fled.

Giving him a gentle pat on his shoulder, you excused yourself and went straight back into the cottage and into the bedroom. You didn’t leave until Chan came in and asked if you were alright and to that, you spilled everything. You didn’t care about Wonwoo’s secret at that point, because you just needed to have someone to confide with. Someone to understand you.

Though some of the story was quite a shock to him, especially considering the fact that you’ve been keeping your soulmate mark hidden from all of them, Chan listened to you with all seriousness. In the middle of your rambling, Seungkwan also walked in to see what was taking you so long. The tears on your cheek probably weren’t the best thing for him to see, but deep down, you were happy to have another person to talk to. And as you did, he looked at you with empathetic, almost pitiful eyes.

It was terrible, but still relieving.

You promised each other to keep your secret between the three of you. The others didn’t need any extra drama in their lives, and besides, they weren’t supposed to be aware of Wonwoo’s secret until he decided to tell them himself.

You spent the rest of the vacation distancing yourself from him, and instead, you stuck by Chan and Seungkwan’s sides, and they made sure to take care of you, which was something you’ll forever be grateful for. Whenever Wonwoo made his way towards you, one of them would create some sort of distraction or pipe up a new conversation to drag you away from the man in question. Eventually, he seemed to get the message that you didn’t want to be around him and didn’t try to approach you for the rest of the time there.

You felt bad. So bad for ignoring him. It was his birthday for God’s sake, and you — his best friend — were ignoring him on his birthday.

It wasn’t his fault. It totally wasn’t his fault for not wanting to be in a relationship. Just like how it wasn’t really your fault for falling head over heels for him. For loving the wrong person. But it happened against your will, and now you have to deal with the consequences of your actions.

If you had said just one more word to him on that day, would things have turned out differently? Maybe you would’ve gotten together? Maybe you would’ve come to terms as just friends?

Maybe, at least, you wouldn’t have drifted.

-----

“Happy birthday y/n.”

Wonwoo slid a neatly wrapped present across the table and you ripped it open without much hesitation, too excited to see what was inside.

It was the sweater you’ve always wanted, a soft royal purple that was decorated with constellations along the sleeves and a moon on its chest pocket. Honestly, you were interested in the sweater because it reminded you of a certain someone, and you wanted to wear it because it made you think of him. You hadn’t told him about it though, and you silently wondered how he found out.

“This doesn’t make up for anything though.” You muttered childishly and took a sip of the cool drink in front of you. You were referring to the news he dropped on you just moments before giving you the gift.

He nervously adjusted his glasses. “I’m sorry. Even I’m unhappy about moving across the world, but at the same time... y/n... this is my dream.”

You sighed and put down the drink. “I know. I’m just upset that we won’t be able to see each other for who knows how long.” You paused to think for a moment. “How long are you going to be gone for anyways?”

“At least 4 years.” He said in a small voice. “4 years for school and if I can get myself a job...” He let out a sigh in defeat.

“I don’t really know how long I’ll be there for.”

“Wow.” You breathed out. “So like I’ll really have to say goodbye then, right?”

“There’s still time, it’ll take a few months for everything to be planned and settled so don’t worry. But let’s just ignore that for now,” He swatted his hand int he air as if it would get rid of the gloomy mood settling over the table. “So much for a birthday gift right? I’m sorry for bringing this up today of all days, but I thought you deserved to know.” He smiled sadly.

“It’s fine. I appreciate you telling me right away.” You fiddled with the tag of the sweater in your hands. Ah, what the heck. Ripping off the tag entirely, you slipped the sweater on top of the clothes you were currently wearing. It was comfy, albeit a little bit stuffy with all the layers you had on, but you didn’t mind. “Thank you for the sweater by the way, I really like it, how did you know?”

“I had to do a little bit of digging to find that out.” He laughed. “I’ve noticed that you’ve been really close to Chan recently so I asked him if he knew anything about what you wanted for your birthday.”

“Ah.”

You couldn’t tell if he was hinting something about being jealous of your friendship with Chan, or if he was simply stating what he saw. You also didn’t bother to ask. The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes.

After your time at the cottage, things had fallen a little awkward between you two. You didn’t ignore him outright, you still had your usual conversations from time to time, but it was clear that at one point, you fell from best friends to practically acquaintances. Which probably was the opposite of what both of you wanted. While things have slowly been getting better overtime, the awkwardness between you two was still unbearable.

“Also...” He started tentatively.

“Mhm?”

“I was wondering if you got your mark?”

Right. He still doesn’t know. No one knew really, your own mark was still a secret kept between you, Chan, and Seungkwan. And you were planning to keep it what way, especially now that you knew that Wonwoo was literally going to disappear entirely from your life sometime soon. You knew it was a bit of a stretch to assume that. With all the technology that existed in the world, obviously you’d still be able to connect, even if there was a time difference. And surely Wonwoo would visit you guys once in a while. because he wouldn’t completely forget about you... right?

As much as you hated to admit it, no matter how hard the two of you tried, you were bound to lose each other someday. The man you loved, and still love, so dearly, will ambitiously pursue his dreams on the other side of the world while you, the lover, will miss your only chance to set things right.

You were being given another opportunity to tell him about your mark. Life was being kind enough to let you make up for your mistake at the cottage. And yet, you still looked into the eyes of your soulmate, and lied through your teeth, plastering on that same polite smile you’ve used over and over again, whenever someone asked you about your mark.

“No, not yet.”

“Oh,” His eyes darted away from yours. “I’m sorry for asking.”

“No, no, it’s alright. I guess I’m just one of those rare cases, maybe I’ll finally get it next year.” You gave him a sad smile, which really wasn’t too hard to muster.

“You’ll find your soulmate soon, y/n. Don’t worry about it.” He gave you a reassuring smile and put his hand on top of the one you had on the table.

Yeah, I won’t worry about it.

=====

The taxi jerked to a stop and you gazed into the windows of the busy airport. All kinds of people were bustling about, carrying their luggages, making frantic phone calls, corralling their kids, reuniting with loved ones. The door in front of you opened, and Seungkwan held out a hand to help you up.

“C’mon, let’s go.”

You took his hand and he gently held onto you the entire time he guided you through the winding hallways. People brushed against your shoulder but you were too focused on your racing heart to bother with an apology. When you saw Wonwoo along with a few others in the distance, your fingers nervously tightened their grip on the small gift bag in your hands.

You weren’t ready to see him yet.

There wasn’t enough time for you to create some sort of plan B, because plan A was really starting to sound stupid to you now. When Seungkwan nudged you to go say your goodbyes, you hesitantly shuffled up to him, opting to stare at his sneakers instead of his face. You felt kind of pathetic, to be honest.

“Here, this is for you.” You placed the small box into his hands and gingerly clasped it before finally letting go. He opened it and pulled out a bracelet, its intricate pattern matched the one on your wrist, except his beads were painted a deep navy blue and white.

“A bracelet?” He questioned as he slipped it onto his wrist, the small bell attached chimed along with its movement. It fit him perfectly. “Thanks y/n, you didn’t have to.”

“How could I not give you something before you go?” You countered.

“Hey, why are you acting like I’m leaving for good or something?” He joked lightly and ruffled your hair, which was rare coming from him. Usually it was the other boys who did that to you, but it’s not like you were going to refuse it. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

Well that was a blatant lie. Though neither of you knew when he would be back, it was guaranteed that he would be gone for at least a few years. And if he ended up getting a job there, you might as well kiss goodbye to any chance of seeing him until you can manage your own work life. Maybe one day, you would be able to gather enough money to pay him a visit.

“I just want to make sure you have something to remember me by.” You answered softly, still refusing to look in his eyes. “In case we don’t get to see each other again.”

In case we drift apart like we already have.

“I’ll make sure to stay in contact, I promise.”

You opened your mouth to reply as the first tear dripped onto your cheeks.

I’m your soulmate Wonwoo. Since day one, I’ve always been in love with you, so please come home soon and we can figure things out. I can wait for you.

That’s what you were supposed to say. Your mind screamed at you to say the words you so diligently rehearsed all morning, but instead you asked him in a shaky voice. “Do you think you’re going to meet your soulmate there?”

He must’ve mistook the regret in your voice as sadness over his departure, because he didn’t question your tone.

“I just might meet them, y/n.” You hated the way he sounded hopeful saying that. And then you proceeded to hate yourself for thinking that way.

“I really thought my soulmate would be someone here, but I guess not. The world works in funny ways.” He laughed a little, and it just added to the awkwardness between you two.

But it’s me, I’m your soulmate Wonwoo, do you not feel it too?

“I also still don’t know if I’m ready to do anything romantically yet.“ He added.

You simply nodded and looked straight into his eyes, vision was blurry with tears, but you still gave him the warmest smile you could possibly muster.

As of today, you’ve finally made your decision. If you were going to say goodbye to him like this, you were also going to say goodbye to the feelings you had for him. You’ll learn to move on. Like any other problem you’ve faced in life, you’ll eventually move on. And if you were going to say goodbye to him like this, you wanted to at least send him off with the best version of you.

He’d always told you he liked your smile.

“I see, well, I won’t keep you any longer and say goodbye then, Wonwoo.” You squeezed his hand firmly for the last time.

He returned the smile. “Goodbye, y/n. We’ll meet again soon.”

#seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #seventeen wonwoo #wonwoo #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo fanfic #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo angst #seventeen x reader #wonwoo x reader #seventeen soulmate au #nose-bandaid

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darkdevasofdestruction · 3 years

Text

The Tigress of Wrath and the Golden Dragon ~ Yin Zhen x Reader

This is a little fic in which the reader is a girl whose father is an important War General for the Emperor Kangxi, and since he has no sons, and the girl shows great aptitude in fighting and strategic thinking, he chooses to present her to the Emperor and requests to treat her as a man and use her skills accordingly.

When she was a child, she got along well enough with the 3rd and 4th Princes ( Yin Zhi and Yin Zhen accordingly ) yet, due to her more tomboyish personality, and the legend of a Tigress Warrior, they nicknamed her "The Tigress" both as a nickname, and a teasing too, as she seemed to be terrible at being feminine as well, as we know how life was like in the 17th-18th century.

Just like the 14th Prince, she was then taken by her father to train in martial arts and returned to the Palace many years later, when she was of age, and to prove herself, she has to go through some challenges…

---

"Father...? Do you think...Those two will remember me? It's been so long, and I've changed so much and...I don't know." the girl asked her father awkwardly, as they walked casually towards the Hall of Mental Cultivation, the place where the Emperor would talk to the people requesting an audience, and solve paper businesses. "Y/N, dear, you may be scared that they won't recognise you, sure, but remember that you are about the same age, and if you've changed so much, imagine that you may not recognise them either. You know very well men change quite a lot when they grow. You were taller than them when you were a little munchkin, but now, I'm sure they will be towering over you." her father chuckled, seeing the horrified look on her face, only to pat her head reassuringly. "That's...So not cool...I'm sure that, with my eternal luck, I'm going to pass by them, and not realise who it is...Ah, father, look at that boy over there, in the red outfit! Do you think it's one of them? Yin Zhi used to like red, that much I remember! Ha, and he didn't grow up too much, I'm sure he's around my height!" the girl grinned triumphantly, her chin held high, which made her father laugh even more mirthfully. "Why don't you go ask him, then? Who knows, you may just be right!" he encouraged her, and with a smile on her face, she ran up to the boy with no inhibition whatsoever, convinced she was talking to her old friend.

"Hello! Sorry to bother, but are you, per chance, the 3rd Prince? I haven't been in the palace since I was very little, so I'm trying to find my friends." she asked the boy in the most carefree manner possible, only to have him chuckle at her and shake his head. "You're about 11 princes down the line, sorry to disappoint you, miss. I'm the 14th Prince, although, I have to say, I'm rather surprised to hear that my brother actually had friends. He's not the most sociable, as far as I'm concerned, but I'll give you a little tip on where to find him. Both him and the 4th Prince are busy devising some kind of plan or something with our Father, the Emperor, so that's the safest bet if you want to find him." the boy explained, as the cricket in his little cage made a cute, almost happy noise of confirmation. "...Yin Zhen is there too...? Oh boy, that's very exciting...Well, thank you for the information, Prince, I appreciate the help. See you around." she bowed quickly to him, in a manly mannerism, which confused the boy garbed in red, yet didn't quite question anything, as she bolted off to her father's side, quickly telling him what she found out.

And so, they arrived in front of the doors, and the Eunuch announced their arrival, allowing them to step inside and kowtow to the floor to greet the Eye of Heaven.

"May the Emperor live eternally." the two chanted in unison as they bowed down in reverence. "General Nian, I pray you have arrived safely. And I see you've finally brought your daughter with you as well. Just as expected, she grew up a real beauty, just like her mother."the Emperor smiled at them, as they nodded their heads as a thank you. "Your Majesty is kind and benevolent above all, yet I dare not receive just praise." the girl raised her sight so she could look at the old man, feeling awkward, yet unstoppable. "A humble one she is, General, you've raised her well. As I see it, she is of age. Are you here to request a good marriage for her? Perhaps with one of my sons?" the Emperor asked, earning a silent yet startled gulp from the girl. "Your Majesty, I dare not. My daughter, bless her soul, is not the most feminine one, yet, since she left the palace, she showed incredible aptitude in martial arts and fighting, and her teachers deemed her intelligence above average. While she is hopeless with a needle, I can proudly say that she can stab with a sword infinitely better than many of our soldiers. If you may have it in your heart to forgive such an obvious stray-away from our usual traditions, please consider using her skills, for she learnt a great deal and she wants to serve our country and the Emperor with her very brain and life.” her father pleaded, and it seemed like the Emperor was actually considering this move. “Very well, I understand your wish, and it makes sense, however, you will have to prove yourself in front of everyone. There are prejudices everywhere, and close to nobody believes in the resurrection of someone like Princess Pingyang or Lin Siniang. Should you prove them wrong, I shall grant you the title of Apprentice Detective. I believe you remember my sons here, the 3rd and 4th Princes – They, too, were here to volunteer to help solve a case in a province away from the palace, and you may join them.” The Emperor explained, making both the father and the daughter bow gratefully. “Your Majesty is kind and benevolent above all. I shall prove I am worthy of this position and make you and my father proud.” She spoke, and thus, the Emperor raised. “Today, you may rest, as you have come here from a long and tiresome journey, yet tomorrow, you shall be fighting the soldiers in training at the Academy, and depending on your performance, I shall make a decision.” Was the last thing the old man spoke, and then, he dismissed the young ones, as he wished to talk about the situation of the Army in the North-East province.

And so, the Eunuch guided them outside and guided her to the Palace of Everlasting Wisdom, which was awfully fitting for her, but she thought nothing of it, instead, quickly befriended the maids and had them tell her anything of relevance about life in the Palace.

But…Those two Princes…The Emperor said they were her old friends…But they were so grown up and looked so sharp and mature! How could that have happened? She still looks soft and youthful, while they look like hardened adults! How is that fair in any way? Not to mention…They’d be working together? On a journey, away from the palace? That’s insane! So exciting! …Hopefully.

That night, she slept like a baby, both eager and anxious for the next day’s challenge, whatever that may be…After all, she MUST get everyone’s respect, should she wish to have a nice life in the palace and not be constantly pressured into marriage or into becoming a concubine.

Y/N dressed in a nice, light blue dress, like those worn during the reign of the Empress Wu Zetian, since she found those kinds of outfits the best for martial arts, and styled the top of her hair in a simple bun tied in a blue ribbon, letting the lower part sway with the wind. Taking her sword in her hands, she unsheathed half of it, seeing the reflection of her beautiful eyes in it, and grinning, to hype herself up, she slammed the sword back and put it at her waist, rushing to the fighting area.

In the middle of the court, she bowed to the Emperor, who was there to watch the show, yet her gaze was nowhere close to him, but her eyes caught Yin Zhen’s ebony eyes watching her, and she could only smirk, very smug and proud of herself.

As she kneeled like a warrior in front of the Emperor, her eyes averted to His Majesty, as he started explaining what she had to do, as a few boys who must have been fresh out of the Academy, went on either side of her, in perfect sync, 3 on each side, 4 meters apart from her.

“I am aware that one must carry a sword to protect themselves and their allies, yet today, you must show that you are capable of doing so without using your blade in such a manner. Discipline, strategy, reflexes, wit and martial arts shall be what you will be tested on today. You may begin.” As he rose from his throne, he extended his hand up in the air, then abruptly let it fall to his side, as if to highlight the beginning of an entertaining show.

As soon as the loud “BEGIN” was heard from the echoing voice of His Majesty, the girl quickly made a few backward tumbles in a way to get out of the men’s way of harm, then got in a fighting stance, ready to take everyone out. The first 3 were easy to defeat, and ultimately, she grabbed the 2nd one’s arm and swung him around, kicking him into the 3rd, making the three of them fall to the ground – But then she got ambushed by the last three, and as she felt herself get grabbed by the light jacket over her blouse, she quickly twirled around, letting the attacker remain with the jacket in his hands, while she dropped to the ground, sweeping her leg over his own, making him fall to the ground. As she finished the 4th, she twirled around again, kicking the 5th in the jaw, then taking out the ribbon from her hair and choking the last one standing, and thus, she was standing tall surrounded by a pile of beaten up men who stood no chance.

However, no day is short of surprises, as she notices Yin Zhen’s sword get unsheathed and him walking towards her with an amused smirk, and she could only tsk in annoyance – This game of proving the others wrong seemed rather unfair all of a sudden – Going against a sword barehanded? Not exactly wise, she reckoned – And thus, she took out her own sword from her waist, extending it for the Prince to see.

“I believe what you are doing will go against the rules set by the Emperor, Y/N. Are you willing to point a sword towards the Crown Prince?” the 4th Prince chuckled very amused, but now, it was the girl’s turn to grin. “Who said anything about a sword? The Emperor told me not to use a blade, and as far as I’m concerned, I’m merely using its scabbard, correct?” she continued parrying the Prince’s swings with perfect accuracy, but she knew he wasn’t actually going full strength on her, she could feel it in the force behind each strike. “I’m not sure if I should be offended that you’re not taking me seriously in this fight, or if I should be concerned about the gold possibly getting whisked away.” She laughed merrily as they continued to dance the waltz of swords, each strike going harder and harder. “If it does, I will make sure the Imperial Blacksmith forges a much better sword for you, and the scabbard will be embellished fit for an Empress.” Their weapons were crossed while their faces were so close to each other that they could almost feel each other’s breaths, and their words, merely above a whisper, needn’t be any louder, for their conversation was meant to be intimate and away from anyone’s ears. “I’d be much happier if it was fit for a Prince.” She laughed in his face, ready to prepare for another strike, but somehow, the Prince’s hit made the scabbard fall off and rotate far away from their positions, looking at them as if mocking. “How rude and unfair of you, Princeling! How am I supposed to fight you now that I can only use the sword’s handle?” she shook her head in mock annoyance, as he sheathed his sword and stepped in front of her. “I win.” He spoke in a simple, teasing manner, flicking her forehead – An endearing and affectionate habit he used to do only to her when they were young and would sneak out of the palace to play around in the Plum garden. “You win nothing, Yin Zhen.” She scoffed, only to notice a glint of silver sparkling in the Sun, and realizing what it was, she jumped, twirling the sword around to pick it up by the blade’s edge, and stepping on his chest, she propelled herself in the air, hitting away a flying arrow sent into the Emperor’s direction. “…Was that planned too?” she asked, not even noticing the running blood coming from her hand. “No, it wasn’t. Father, are you alright?” the Prince ran to his father’s side, while the girl looked back in the direction from which the arrow was sent flying. “The five of you, don’t move! Guards, keep them still!” commanding the royal guards who obeyed her orders, she examined each of the protesting men who either cried out their innocence, or hollered it out. “You were the one who sent the arrow flying. You have a horizontal line across the middle of your fingers, which means you didn’t use a bow, since it would have attracted attention, but instead, most likely, a mini crossbow that many assassins use – Which makes sense, considering how the arrow is about half the size of a normal one. And the two of you are accomplices. You have the crossbow under your clothes – You’re not actually fat, you just stuffed your clothes to appear so, and you provided the arrows, there is a fragment of a coloured feather part which is used for arrows to fly properly.” She explained with ease, which made the Emperor and the other Princes gather around behind her, listening to her reasonings. “Yes, very well, that does make sense. Yin Zhen, Yin Zhi, what do you make of this situation?” the old man looked at his two Princes, who seemed to ponder the situation over, but came up with no other solution by the end of their brief investigation. “It seems to me Miss Y/N came up with the right solution, Father.” The 3rd Prince answered quickly, not wanting to stay there more than needed, but also being rather intrigued by what was happening. It wasn’t often that a court case would find itself before their very eyes so easily. “Very well, very well indeed.” The Emperor nodded in agreement, stroking his beard. “Father, if I may – I wish to express my opinion on Y/N’s

arrival here, at the Palace. I believe she will be the perfect Detective Constable. She expressed skills in combat, intelligence, tactics, wit and charm – I believe men will find it easier to confess to her, should they be found in a precarious situation. It will prove to be very useful in our mission in the Jiangnan province.” Yin Zhen’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts and spoke without realizing. “Jiangnan? That’s pretty close to Hunan, where I spent most of my time. I heard it’s a rather interesting and developed city. What’s the problem there?” she asked, and it was then that the Emperor truly decided to assign her the case. “There has been a string of rather bizarre murders, Young Detective, and I would like you and my sons to go investigate and put a stop to the injustice taking place. You will be on the road tomorrow, these two will show you the book with the written statements about each singular crime that took place. Rest assured, I will inform your father of your departure, and later tonight you will be provided with the imperial token and any weapon you may be in need of.” The Emperor told his scribe to write the declared Royal Decree and had his personal eunuch give her the Imperial Token that will ensure her access to any place or information that she may otherwise have difficulty reaching. “Your Highness is kind and benevolent above all. May Your Majesty live eternally.” Young Y/N kowtowed in front of the old man, who chuckled and patted her head before leaving the place, and with him, the rest of the crowd…Sans the two eldest princes. “I thought tigresses would grow with time, not regress so much. How amusing.” Yin Zhi chuckled, making light of the height difference that was now reversed. “It’s not my fault I was born in the wrong body, is it now? No matter now, I can accomplish the same things with no difficulty or impediment. A tigress will forever be a tigress, be it a cub or a celestial one.” She smirked at the older prince, who could only scoff and walk away. “Great seeing you again, Y/N. As annoying as always.” He grumbled, leaving his brother alone with her. “It may be my imagination alone, but I believe he became grumpier than ever – Correct me if I’m wrong, though.”Y/N shook her head in disbelief, only to get her forehead flicked once again. “And you are as reckless and airheaded as always. If I don’t take care of you, you’ll die before you realise. The Palace life is a harsh one, especially for a woman, be it one in the harem, or merely one with ties to anyone from the Imperial family. Don’t be foolish thinking you are exempt from harm.” Yin Zhen warned her with a sharp and serious tone – She almost couldn’t recognize him, remembering how much of an air head HE used to be, and she had to scold him every time he’d get hurt by being careless and falling down a tree, or falling in the lake. “You don’t have a fever, do you, Yin Zhen? I don’t recognize you! Since when have our roles been reversed, anyway? Besides, what’s the harm done to me, considering I could prevent any from coming to you and your Imperial Father?” Y/N shrugged simply, before getting her hand taken in his and realizing his concern – Her hand was actually slashed and bleeding from when she held her blade tightly in her hand to deflect the stray arrow ready to claim an important life. “You, dummy. Good thing I learnt from the Tigress how to take care of my cub, otherwise, this little kitten would have been much tamer in the future…And that wouldn’t be fun, would it?” The prince took a handkerchief from his pocket and held it tight against the wound, waiting like that until it stopped bleeding altogether. “Marigold ointment will take care of it. Hopefully, no scars either.” She muttered, looking down at her hand with resentment at the idea of scarring. “Even if it does scar, it won’t take away your beauty and worth in this world.” This comment – so charming, spoken in such a suave way, as he drew closer to her – Made her heart beat like never before, and she was sure her face must show the warmth she felt. “I

didn’t realise you’d become such a smooth talker. Little Yin Zhen sure grew a lot since we’ve last seen each other. Undoubtly, you must have a lot of ladies swooning over you. Ladies with skin as smooth and pale as milk, that is. You don’t have to make me feel better, I am aware of this society’s beauty standards, and how people look down on women with scars. But thank you. I will be going now. Make sure you are well rested for tomorrow’s journey…It will be a long one.” With a small smile, Y/N drew back her hand, taking the handkerchief with her as well – She couldn’t possibly return it all bloody, right? – And went back to her assigned palace, not giving the prince any chance to speak back or refute in any way. How could he possibly find the woman he’s been pining over for so many years – In any way, shape or form – Disgusting, just because of some scar? He knew – It was true – He knew how people were…But not him, and not when it came to her. For so many years since she’s been gone from his arms, he’s been thinking of her and her alone. He wasn’t like his elder brother, so dissolute and indulging in his own pleasures, as far away from the Imperial family as possible, while also ensuring his favouring to their father…But He was different. Yin Zhen WAS going to be the next Emperor, and he WAS going to marry Y/N, no matter what. He just got her back…No way in hell was he going to let her go again.

When he saw her again, he couldn’t believe his eyes – She grew up so much, she looked so beautiful, like a woman – It was only now that he saw her with different eyes, it wasn’t just the old fondness from their childhood…But now, his heart was beating faster looking upon her face.

Stars were twinkling brighter in her eyes, than on the bright sky of Summer, her gorgeous visage rivaling even the Moon Goddess Chang’e – And she was as stubborn and nonconformist as always, wearing dresses from so far back – The Tang dynasty, ages ago – And they suited her so well, he was mesmerized watching the loose fabric fly around her so graciously as she spun around so gracefully, swinging her sword and taking down her enemies with perfect precision and stance…

And her expression…Gods, her expression…

It reminded him of his own.

She oftentimes looked to be ruthless, stoic, sharp and unforgiving…And yet, every so often, when not surrounded by people, he would see her eyes soften to the littlest of things, be it a beautiful flower, or a cute puppy yapping at her, wanting to be petted and played with.

He saw her that night – She couldn’t sleep, perhaps? Or maybe it was the night coming faster, awakening the lovely moon, in her honour – She saw her next to the lotus pond, bathing in the silver light of the Deity, as her finger so gracefully glided over the strings of the zither that she played with such nostalgia, that he felt his own heart weep.

Why was she so sorrowful, he wondered. No person who lacks a certain degree of a broken heart would be able to play with such vibrating emotions the instrument that holds the soul of the player, and of the listener. The fourth prince felt connected to her – A heart to heart and soul to soul connection – Solely through the sounds coming from every pinch of the strings…

He knew he would never again feel something so powerful with anyone else. It was his mother who once told him so many tales of heroes saving princesses and falling in love, and yet, those stories never explained in such detail what either of them felt. It was clear to him now that those authors were never actually in love to begin with. God forbid men feel or act with any vulnerability towards the woman they vow to protect and cherish for the rest of their days.

He wanted – Oh, how much he needed – To go to her, to accompany her melody by playing the flute, for those songs are meant to be played together, as a couple, in perfect harmony – And yet, he was afraid that, as soon as he’d approach her, the little tigress would flee from him. He was aware of how frail and afraid she was of admitting she held a more romantic side, and yet, this very fear of her was what was causing her so much distress, even if she was aware of it or not.

Perhaps, this woman wasn’t just a tigress, but a fawn as well, choosing which side of her to show to the world, depending on what her heart and mind dictated…In a world ruled by men, being a deer would only get you to become dinner, so play the role of a fiery tigress and make everyone flee in fear.

It was the perfect strategy, clearly, and yet…

Yin Zhen never showed fear.

“I never imagined my first case would involve something so complex.” Y/N spoke, almost without realizing, as she went over the case file once again, bouncing absent-minded in the horse saddle. “We immediately sent word to the constables in Jiangnan so they won’t touch the body more than needed. Congratulations, your first case will have you look at something gruesome.”Yin Zhi mocked her, and yet, he was shocked hearing her laugh lightly. “That’s gonna be fun!” she grinned, trying to imagine the way she’d find the bodies and whether she’d be able to make heads or tails of everything. “I hope all three of the bodies will be left in perfect shape, otherwise it would be such a pity, don’t you think?” she mused, a confident kitten-like smile creeping on her face. “Any man who hears you speak with so much glee about dead bodies will flee for you. I’d be more careful about what I’d say out loud before it’s too late and I end up all alone, old and ugly.”The 3rd prince’s comment made his younger brother frown in anger, shooting him a warning look. He didn’t want the girl to become even more sorrowful than she already was. Not being the stereotypical feminine woman wasn’t as popular now as it was hundreds of years ago, when the bravest women were, in the end, praised and beloved by everyone, going down in history, tales of their bravery being sung at events all over the country. “Then…Think I’ll find a pretty woman? If I can’t find a man to love me, protect me and cherish me, like in those nice stories our mothers told us when we were young, then might as well become the warrior seeking a beautiful, young maiden who would willingly sooth my soul and tend to my wounds. Doesn’t sound half-bad, does it? Women are very beautiful, maybe I can find the appeal a man feels when seeing one, if I imagine it long enough.” She chuckled carefree, but the prince knew that, deep down, she was used to such harsh comments being made about her, and in her heart, she held no hope of a future with someone by her side. “As if that would happen.” The prince scoffed at her breeze-like comment, only for her to laugh at him, tauntingly. “What is it, Zhi Zhi? Afraid I’m going to be more popular with the ladies than you? With how rude you are, I think it’s safe to say I would win, if that were the case.” A tigress, a fawn…And a smirking fox. Yin Zhen wondered whether he would come to discover more spirit animals residing inside her heart – He was fascinated, and also, satisfied with how she turned around to taunt back his brother with such perfect ease, that it angered the elder one. “We shall see…” oh, look at that, the 3rd Prince actually took that as a competition starter – How very serious of him! “Enough bickering, you two, we have arrived.” The 4th Prince scolded those two as they trotted inside the city of Jiangnan, admiring the provincial beauty and simplicity of the place, until they were greeted by the main constable of the place, who guided them to their quarters, offering them information about each case, only for then guide them to each of them, in the order they were done.

“Good golly, I never would have imagined a human could end up so fat!” the girl exclaimed, her jaw dropped in horror at the mountain of a man that sat in front of a table, his upper body engulfing the wooden furniture with the layers of fat as he was hovering over it entirely. “Be more respectful of the dead, Y/N…”Yin Zhen sighed softly as he went ahead to look around the room. “I’ll wait for you outside.” The constable muttered, doing as he told.

The girl then put a veil on her face to cover the bottom half of it, protecting herself as much as possible from the possible diseases and, most of all, from the stench of rotten food and flesh. With help from the two imperial brothers, she had the corpse lay on the floor completely, so she could perform an autopsy and see the cause of death – Not only a failing heart, as it was completely engulfed with a scary amount of fat, but…His stomach was burst open, and a concoction of digested and undigested food was disgustingly splayed all around his entrails.

Clearly, he ate himself to death, and yet, she wondered how come the constable didn’t deem this simply a heart failure, considering his appearance? Perhaps signs of forced entry would explain everything – But why would this one be killed in such a way? Wouldn’t it be more satisfying to have such a glutton starve to death? P’haps, even more…Cruel?

Maybe it wasn’t a hate-crime after all, but a way to teach this one that gluttony wasn’t, in fact, good…A twisted way to teach someone a lesson – Don’t steal away the starving people’s food - Y/N realized that, what he may eat at one meal, would be something she’d need for a whole week, and the thought of it had her stifle her chuckle at the irony.

Glutton…Gluttony…Interesting concept. Truth be told, she never met anyone so unhealthily, so morbidly obese – Especially for food was scarce in many provinces, and while there was abundance at the Palace, not even there, did she see anything more than slightly chubby.

Perhaps people who stood out with their wrong-doings were to be eliminated. This one was already an outcast from the rest of the citizens of this place, nobody would miss him, so he was a fair kill.

“Did you find anything relevant around the room?” she asked as she got up and went to wash her hands from the disgusting body juices she had to dig into. “No signs of forced entry, however, the culprit was definitely sitting in the chair opposite of him. What did you find from the body?” the younger brother asked as they all left the room. “Mr. Constable, have you seen anything out of the ordinary in this city lately? A new person, an event, uhm…People acting weirdly, or I don’t know, anything that would stand out from the usual.”She asked, not yet answering the prince. “Nothing that I would think from the top of my head, no…Things have been normal for the past weeks…Until these tragedies started happening, so quickly, one after the other…” country constables really are useless, the girl realized, as she merely smiled at him and put her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’ll bring justice to the victims and this city. Until then, stay vigilant and tell us should you find out anything new.” Saying that, she decided to go on ahead to the next victim’s house, letting the running thoughts take over her mind.

Hurrying down the busy streets of Jiangnan, they found their way to the second house of the day – Once again, no signs of a forced entry – Yet this body was different. This man was built normally, so the chances of an accidental death due to natural causes was out of question. He was sprawled over his bed, his clothes dyed with his own crimson blood, his hands and feet impaled with golden ornaments, as melted gold was poured over his face, melting it, and in turn, killing him in such a gruesome way…And piles of golden ingots, silver taels and jewellery were piling over the rest of his body, almost suffocating him.

There was nothing to dissect here, the cause of death was obvious, so the last thing to wonder about was the reason for this atrocity.

So much wealth put everywhere on display…If this was the same person, then maybe…The lesson they wanted to teach this man was humility? Or…Altruism? Temperance? To give away his wealth to those less fortunate?

Perhaps this culprit thought he was trying to protect his city from these people who may taint it. Those who are too…Greedy…

Gluttony…Now Greed…

I wonder what the next lesson taught will be – Y/N thought to herself as she searched around the bed, throwing away all the riches from it, then finding a small, yet fat book that held stray specks of gold on its cover.

‘Bible’ it was called.

“I found one like this at the fat guy’s house, on the table. It certainly is the same killer, then.” Yin Zhi said, taking out the food-stained book from under his clothes. “…I’m onto something. Let’s go to the next one.” Y/N muttered, slamming open the door and bursting through it, going to the 3rd house.

This one, instead of being piled up with the obvious signs of their addictions, it was…Empty? Completely empty?

The victim was laid on the ground, on what looked like a comfortable bed with a pillow, but upon closer inspection, the person was heavily malnourished, looking like a rotting corpse, with its skin barely there anymore, and…

Hold up…

The corpse…Has a pulse…?

As Y/N touched her fingers to the veins on its neck, the corpse’s eyes shot open – They were blood shot, desperate, in complete agony - The girl let out a startled yelp as she fell back on the ground as she watched the…Victim’s chest heave up and down, a guttural scream let out as…The sown-together lips were torn open to allow the man to yell out his pain.

“What do we do?!” Y/N looked back and forth to the brothers, as Yin Zhen knelt and quickly slit his throat, making him go quiet. “Any complaints?” he muttered, watching the girl quickly shake her head. “What the hell was that…? Didn’t the constable say he was definitely dead? That means no pulse, no heartbeat, no vital function…Nothing! This wasn’t nothing!” putting her hand to her chest to calm down her breathing. “Someone wanted us to see him in this state. To act as a warning to us. They knew the constable here was good for nothing, and the culprit wanted to scare us away from this city. Too bad this won’t have the effect he so desired.” Yin Zhen scoffed as he brought his hand under the pillow, finding another book with the same name. “What a sadist…Whoever the killer is…Is sick. Very sick.” But…Why was this one killed? He was humble enough not to lavish himself in riches, not wasting food, or objects…Maybe his behaviour to other people was bad? Maybe he was a jerk? “Any idea about this one?” the 4thprince asked, as the girl shook her head. “No…This time, no idea. Let’s go out, I have to think.” She muttered, going out of the house, looking up at the bright sky and watching the fluffy clouds go by which way the wind wants them to. “I keep thinking on this…I have a feeling that…I read about this somewhere…Some long time ago. Someone is trying to teach these victims a lesson. Don’t be a glutton. Don’t be greedy. But…I can’t figure out what this one did…What did he do so wrong that he had to be induced in a coma and suffer so long…You could see his muscles, and they were in such a horrible state, from not moving…How could he have ruined this city that he deserved this punishment-lesson?” she tried to think out loud, hoping that somehow, the answer will come by itself.

As she walked down the cramped streets of this place, the two princes trailing down behind her, trying to make out their own theories, she got snapped out of her mind palace by the angry shriek of a woman, fighting a weird-looking man in front of a big house.

“You will never get us out of business, so leave already! Spread your mindless indoctrination in another city, you’ve already angered everyone else in this one!” the woman, very beautiful, despite the twisted expression of rage on her face, shouted at the man, who, instead of having matching anger…Looked rather…Serene? “Miss, what is the problem, please? May we help you in any way?” the girl rushed to the woman’s side, holding onto her to calm her down, which worked well. “Ah, yes, you can help me by getting that stupid foreigner out of our city! We never wanted him, but those useless constables let him spread the word of his false God around this place, and now, look at him! Walking around as if this is HIS country! The audacity!” she scoffed, before shaking her head and inviting the trio inside, which made Y/N realise this house was a brothel – In fact, a pretty rich one – “You three are new here. What brings you to our city? The blooming cherry blossoms, perhaps?” the woman, Ying Yue, asked them, as she poured tea for them. “We came here to investigate the series of peculiar murders that took place in this city…But I never imagined, in my life, I would see a foreigner in the flesh! My father and the professors I learnt under wanted me to keep a broad mind, so I am somehow familiar with some literature from Europe, and yet…This man looked…Out of it.” Y/N explained, taking a sip from the aromatic tea, as her eyes were fixated on the visage of the beautiful matron. “Ah, yes, him. His name is…Difficult to pronounce. Alexander, he insists on calling himself. He is from a different religion, worshiping this Deity called ‘God’, and he wants to convert us. He is truly shameless…He keeps preaching how we are all sinful and need divine retribution. Honestly, I don’t understand him at all…Sometimes, he starts talking in a weird language, and waves around that wooden cross of his. He’s creepy. And he’s trying to get our brothel to close down and all the women become nuns and repent.” She shuddered with indignation as Y/N gasped in realization. “Oh…Heavens…I think I know what’s going on…He carries around a book with black leather covers called “Bible”, correct? Does he have any copies?” the girl asked, feeling the fire of understanding surging through her bloodstream, remembering the three booklets found at each scene of the crime. “Gosh, yes, he does. In fact, he spent months translating it in Chinese and handing out copies to every household, and all that. We tossed it into the fireplace, but…I believe there are some who still have it.” The matron explained, and just then, Yin Zhi pulled out the three books from his bag. “Like these ones?” The prince handed the woman the books, but she refused to touch them, disgust splattered all over her face. “Yes, like those. I don’t know what written in them, as I said, I never bothered with them, but hopefully, they will help you in some way.” The matron sighed, as she heard many of her girls giggling, and looking back, they were on the floor above, leaning on the bannister, looking down at the two men bashfully. “You two, it seems my girls have taken a liking to you. Why don’t you go have some fun? It’s on the house. Miss, if you want, we have a few men too, very handsome.” The matron rose from the table, trailing her hands down the men’s shoulders, trying to allure them in. “Not bad…” Yin Zhi muttered, looking up at the beautiful young girls waving at him. “Ah…Hahaha…U-Uhm…Thank you, I’ll pass. Thank you for the offer, I-I have to go now. I’ll see you two at the inn. Bye.”With that, the young girl didn’t wait to see whether the 4th prince accepted the offer or not, instead, she bolted out of the brothel and continued walking around the city, admiring the light from the many colourful paper lanterns hung around the place.

Instead, for the remaining of the evening, and dead into the night, she hovered over the book, skimming through it, this time, more attentively for any key word, or phrases that may get her to understand what was going on.

And then, she remembered her own words – Sinful, gluttony, greed – she said to herself, and there, she found the meaning of those words.

The Seven Deadly Sins.

Pride, Greed, Envy, Wrath, Lust, Gluttony, Sloth.

That means…

The fat guy was forced to eat until his stomach exploded – That was Gluttony. The rich guy was literally buried under his own wealth – That was Greed The coma guy…He had nothing in his home, except for a bed…And he didn’t move for months on end… - That must be Sloth.

Pride, Envy, Wrath and Lust remained…

Lust?

LUST!

The brothel!

That’s why the Christianity envoy wanted to shut down the brothel! God didn’t see lightly any sin committed, and lust was a sinful indulgence!

She had to warn them!

As she ran out of her room, back to the brothel, she noticed smoke rising from it, as it was engulfed in flames… Shocked, Y/N ran inside the burning building, covering her face with her long sleeve so she won’t breathe in the smokes and die while trying to make rescue attempt. She bolted up the stairs, searching every room and evacuating the fainted women who didn’t have the time to leave…But did she really want to see them fainted, on the ground? But maybe seeing them would bring her a certainty that at least they aren’t in a place even more dangerous than this one.

But he saw them, and all her worries were bundled together in the pit of her stomach – The closest escape was through the window, even thought it was to far up, she was confident she could manage to drag them somehow, despite how heavy they were, to safety, outside.

Thank goodness I learnt martial arts – She thought to herself – As she picked the 4th Prince first, jumping down the window, then climbed back up for the 3rd prince to bring back to safety. She hovered over both of them, trying to find out if they breathed in too much smoke, since they passed out like that, as she coughed a bit to eliminate the smoke she inhaled, and thought how Yin Zhi seemed to be okay, but…Zhen Zhen wasn’t doing as brightly…He was barely breathing… So she attempted a procedure she learnt from the monks – To press on the chest at a patterned pace, and the lift the head up a bit and breathe air into their mouth – If it was a different circumstance, she would have been very flustered, considering their lips would touch, but now, she had no time to think twice, as she took deep breaths and exhaled, praying to the Heavens for him to wake up already.

And after a few procedures repeated, he slowly opened his beautiful dark eyes, and Y/N could only sigh, collapsing on his chest, breathing in relief.

“Thank Heavens you’re awake…I thought you were going to die…” she muttered more to herself than to him, before feeling a hand on the top of her head. “Thanks…” the prince spoke out in a tired voice before he, with some help, got in a sitting position. “Your clothes are ruined. And you’re covered in ashes. Come here.” Taking out a napkin once again, he cupped her cheek as he gently cleaned her face, as she looked away awkwardly. “What happened? Neither of you would get caught in a burning building. You could have jumped out of the window. I know you, of all people, wouldn’t get distracted by anything.” She asked, frowning and putting one of her hands over his, stopping him from moving his hand – And he did, shifting his gaze, looking right into her eyes – He could see the worry, the gentleness, the wonder…The love and relief – And the lingering feeling of her soft lips on his own was worth everything, and yet, he’d have rather taken the initiative and kissed her in a more fitting place. “The sake and tea we got served was drugged. We didn’t realise until it was too late. We thought at first it was only the alcohol, but the girls fainted faster than either of us. By the time we felt hazy, we thought it was from the alcohol, Yin Zhi is much more of a lightweight than I am…But when we smelt the smoke, we tried to get up, but found out we couldn’t. But how did you get here? I was sure you’d stay at home and analyse that book the whole night.” He spoke, and the girl cleared her throat awkwardly, chuckling and scratching the back of her head. “So, uhm…That’s what I was doing…And then I realized what the crimes meant. All of them represented one of the seven deadly sins from the Christian Bible. Gluttony, Greed and Sloth being the ones already committed…And, well…Lust was one of them, and I remembered the missionary trying to close down the brothel. And since you were here, I was afraid the perpetrator might try something, attempting to get rid of his pursuers…And when I came by, the brothel was already aflame, neither of you was anywhere to be seen, the matron and many of the citizens were just standing by, screaming, but nobody was trying to put out the fire…I had to do something, you know.” She explained, unconsciously putting a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Give props to the tigress to figure out something like that and to be brave and reckless enough to risk her own life to save a bunch of people that don’t have anything to do with her.” The prince chuckled, only to see the girl’s brows furrowing. “You’re making it seem as if I did a bad thing. Besides…Don’t just say there were people who didn’t have anything to do with me, as if we are strangers to each other. It’s rude.” She muttered, getting up and turning to his brother and slapping his face. “Get up, Zhi Zhi. I know you woke up by now. Don’t just eavesdrop on people’s conversations, you, jerk.” “At least don’t hit so hard, damn…Don’t hit your future husband like that too, he’ll leave you.” The 3rdprince rubbed his now red cheek, only to have the back of his head slapped by his brother as well. “I don’t need to bother with a husband, anyway.” She muttered, walking ahead at the front of the brothel where the matron sobbing, hugging her girls who were crying as well – But at least they woke up, all alive and well – Unlike the crumbling building that couldn’t resist the forces of nature…Induced nature, that is.

The women jumped on their saviour, praising and thanking her for saving their lives, but Y/N’s eyes were glued on something else – The foreigner holding a Bible and a cross in his hands, as his eyes were fixated on the fire while his lips were constantly moving – Was he preaching, she wondered?

No matter – Her rage was bubbling inside her heart so badly that she pushed aside the women and stomped to the foreigner, yelling at him and picking him up by the neck of his shirt, shaking him roughly.

“HOW DARE YOU TRY TO BURN PEOPLE?! HOW DARE YOU KILL THOSE OTHERS JUST LIKE THAT?! YOUR RELIGION IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALL ABOUT LOVE AND CARING FOR YOUR PEERS, NOT ABOUT KILLING AND OPRESSION!” she screamed in his face only for the man to blink in confusion and fear, but…He didn’t seem…Guilty…?? “M-Miss, I’m sorry, I know I am a foreigner and I’ve been trying to convert people and show them how great our religion is…But I’d never kill! The Lord is against harming others, at all costs!” the foreigner tried to explain himself to the girl, but she didn’t stop until she punched him to the ground, only to stop abruptly. “…So…You’re claiming you are innocent? For all 4 crimes? Even though the concept of seven deadly sins is a Christian thing?” she muttered, looking down at him. “Yes, miss, yes! After all, everyone in this city could have read the Bible, I translated it in many books, and delivered them to all households. I made sure to do that for all of them!” Alexander explained himself, and the girl could only nod, seeing the innocence in his eyes. “…If that is true, then, you have my apologies for misjudging you and accusing you of such atrocious crimes. I am sorry that some evil-doer is using your religion is a misguided way, and speaking your God’s name in vain. I don’t believe there is any believer in any faith that would appreciate their belief being treated this way.” Sighing, the girl helped the man up, only for him to take both of her hands in his, looking up at her with delight in his eyes. “Miss, you understand what my religion is all about! I am so happy to see someone so open to new things! Miss, wouldn’t you consider converting to Christianity for the greater good? I would gladly guide you through the path of redemption and make sure no trace of wrath lingers in your blood!” the girl’s first thought was to snatch her hands away – Touching was an intimate thing only lovers should do, not someone like him! – And yet…Her mid was somewhere else, and it wasn’t until Yin Zhen came to slap away his hands that she came back to. “Don’t touch other people so lightly, foreigner, especially women. It’s an act of intimacy in our country, and it shouldn’t be engaged in unless both parties are familiar with. Better get more accustomed to our ways before you decide to act so freely.” Poison dripped from Zhen’s words as he put his arm protectively around the girl. “Well, what do you expect from foreigners, any way? Especially one so outspoken? They come here, trampling our lands, as if they own the place, then they take away our lands, our women, and then will demand to be kings. Tsk.” Zhi spoke, which made the girl snap her head up at the foreigner. “Alexander, I need your opinion! Just now, you said wrath lingered in my heart, correct? Other than wrath, there is only Pride and Jealousy left. Do you think there is any possibility that either of these two would be a victim to the Seven Deadly Sins criminal?!” the girl’s voice was evidently worried, thinking back at the brothel incident. “The culprit could have put the brothel on fire at any time, and yet, they waited until both Yin Zhen and Yin Zhi were there, and they were drugged, along with the girls. This can’t be just a coincidence, can it?” Y/N spoke out, worried for her two friends. “Miss, this one here reeks of pride and vanity, that much is obvious, while this one’s jealousy can be seen from miles away. Maybe people from around are used to such behaviour, it may be normal for you, and yet, from someone from abroad, with a different kind of lifestyle and society, everything is different. If you think either of you may be in danger, then please, do be careful, and please protect this city. It’s a beautiful place with beautiful people, but it’s been tainted by this killer’s darkness.”With a small smile, the foreigner left the place, as the girl’s hand fell to her side. “…Well, future Emperor, how does it feel to have escaped your first assassination attempt?” she asked dryly, walking back to the inn, while the other two were behind her. “Tsk, are you really going

to listen to that guy? Who does he call vain, anyway?” the 3rd prince scoffed, only for the other two to look at him with a bored expression. “Honestly…” they sighed in unison, not wanting to address the Envy part on Yin Zhen’s side – Why would he be jealous, anyway? And the foreigner only said that after the prince pushed him away from her…

The room was silent for the longest time, and they were ready to go to sleep, until the girl decided to go on the roof of the inn and look up at the moon, as she felt it helped her think better. Being alone always made her feel much better and to think clearer. The moon was full, and she could even see the bunny of Chang’e, the Moon Goddess, and she smiled, resting her chin on her knees.

“You shouldn’t be out alone.” The familiar voice of the 4th Prince came up from behind her, but she could only shrug simply. “I can take care of myself. You’re the one who got drugged and almost died. You were careless and distracted.” She didn’t look at him – In fact, she didn’t shift her gaze from the moon at all. “I admit my mistakes. I was careless. I hoped that I would find out vital information on the people around here – Brothel girls are always the best people to ask for dark secrets, since men are intoxicated and speak freely around them – Alas, all I found out was that the constable is a frequent guest there…But never as a client. They said he was concerned about their well-being. They also said the ones who died deserved to die, since they were dead beats. And the last victim was a lazy who never in his life worked, so his lesson was to contribute to society in any way.” The prince explained, but the girl already figured out as much. “You would know best about being intoxicated and being vulnerable around women, wouldn’t you?” she muttered softly, but her mind was in a complete other place. “Do you blame me for remaining there with my brother?” he asked, sitting down next to her. “No.” her answer was simple and blunt, but he could tell, it didn’t come from the heart. “You should.” He admitted his mistake without a second thought. “…You’re a man. That’s what you do. Besides, you should get used to having lots of beautiful women around you. You’ll be the Emperor one day. You have no choice.” She said in a cold, rather impersonal tone, not wanting to dwell further into this awkward and tragic discussion. “One man can only love a woman alone. His heart is his own, while his body is the country’s. Men who truly love more than one woman are feeble, and should not be trusted.” He explained softly, but the girl didn’t spare him any glance. “In Europe, a King has only one wife, who is the Queen…Only their child is legitimate and the heir to the throne. Any…Mistake the King might do is swept under the rug, and the bastard is hidden from the world, or even killed. And the Queen…The poor Queen is all alone. Her sole role is to bear children and continue the lineage. They are not allowed to do anything, while the country abuses her body and soul, but the King can do anything he pleases, for the whole power is in his hands. Meanwhile…Here, the Emperor is forced to have multiple women as wives, and all can bear legitimate heirs…And yet, ask any woman, and you will see just how lonely and desperate for affection they are. They are not truly loved…But the Emperor goes to them when he remembers them…And sometimes, doesn’t even stay the night. The visits are brief…And when she grows old…She is forgotten, just like a wilting flower. I wonder…Which fate is more cruel? And also…Why should it be cruel at all? The Sun and the Moon are both beautiful, and yet, all alone. Maybe it’s better to be alone than heart broken.” She sighed, getting up and turning to leave, only for the man to stop her by embracing her from behind. “Y/N…Can you feel my heart beating? This heart belongs to you and you alone. It has been that way since we were children. I won’t deny, what you said is true in its whole entirety, but I never felt and thought the same way about a woman as I do for you. I am a man of my word, Y/N, and I vow to you – I vow on this country, and on my name as the next Emperor, that to me, there will never be anyone more important to you. So please, allow me to protect your heart, and I shall gladly give you mine for you to hold. Please trust me as much as you did when you let me catch you whenever you’d jump from the top of a tree, or when you’d find out a secret from your spying around the palace, and you couldn’t help but tell it to me, and me alone. I am yours for the rest of my life…So in turn, be mine, and mine alone.” His embrace tightened, and the girl felt hotter and hotter, her face became flustered, and she could feel her heart beating faster from emotion…And worry. “You are asking a great deal, you know, don’t

you? Something like this can’t be given away so lightly. It’s my heart, and I have only one. Only I know how to protect it…If I give it to you…Any wrong move can make it fall to the ground and shatter. And trust me, there is no remedy for a broken heart. What will you do then…My dear Zhen Zhen?” the term of endearment that she hasn’t used since they were children…How melodious and loving it sounded…The little fawn came back to him. “I would never let that happen. If it falls, I will fall with it, so I can catch it before it reaches the ground. If water rains on it, I will cover it with my own self, so it won’t get wet. If it’s too hot, I will fan it myself, and if it’s too cold, I will make sure to warm it until it’s not trembling any longer. So trust me, just one more time, and I promise you, you will never regret it.” He kissed her temple softly as his hands reache her own, intertwining his fingers with hers – He could feel her trembling softly – He knew the effect he had on her, and of her conflicting thoughts. “…Let me think on it, and I will tell you my answer by the time we reach the capital. Until then…Let’s catch the culprit and be rid of this pestilence. Actually…Let’s visit the constable, for a change. I believe that…He is not as innocent as he seems…And his uselessness may be just an act. If you can’t trust a constable, then who can you trust, the saying goes. So, what do you say? Are you in?” she turned around, failing to meet his eyes, but she could see his smile…As beautiful and confident as ever. “Let’s catch him.” He nodded, and together, they went around the house, their sword in their hands, carefully, and they were going to meet at the back of it, while they investigate every little bit of it – And yet, by the time the prince got to the back…There was no sign of the girl at all. “Y/N? Where are you?” he tried to look around for her…And yet…The only clue that indicated the girl was ever around this place was the blue ribbon that used to hold her hair up.

However, the darkness of the night became an even darker abyss for the prince as well, as he was hit in the head with a metallic object, which had him hazy enough to be dragged into the warehouse just behind the constable’s house. There, he got tied to a chair in the back, as the place was illuminated by a bunch of paper lanterns – And then he saw her – In the same state as him, only she seemed much…Out of it?

“What did you drug me with?” her voice sounded like a drunk man – Slurred and groggy – And yet, his eyes were only set on the small, shiny object in the constable’s hand. It was foreign, and strange…It was…Weird. “It matters not what I did to you, Miss Detective. What matters is that here, you and your dear Prince will face your demise!” the constable, Rui, grinned creepily at her. “…A constable from hell. How unlucky for the people here. Why bring us here?” she continued asking, trying to keep a grip on reality. “Once the verdict is done, I will execute the law. Imperial Detective Constable Y/N. You protect the law. But what have you done wrong? Go on, tell me. I know you know. That friendly foreigner already told you.” He insisted, crouching down to her level. “…My heart is filled with Wrath.” She muttered, feeling her head swimming and spinning in a vertigo mixed with a hurricane. “Yes, good, good, the sinful wench acknowledges her evil-doings! Then, you know that I have to kill you, just as I killed the others! They only brought misfortune to our beloved city! And you…You are the worst of them all. Wrath is the reason everything good gets destroyed. Women, of all people, should be gentle, calm and understanding. You? You behave like a mad war criminal who seeks blood alone!” he screamed in her face, as she could only roll her eyes at his stupid allegations. “Oh, spare me the bullshit. You are the one who bent the law, punish yourself first. You are stupid.” She groaned, feeling a headache creeping. “SHUT UP, BITCH! Who do you think you are, speaking like that to me?!” he said, slapping her face and snatching away the Imperial Token given to her by the Emperor. “You think if you have this token given away from that conceited fraud you call an Emperor, you will be protected from anything? NO! In fact, you and your two silly princes just signed a death sentence coming here! But, alas, I couldn’t do away with them when I wanted to, you just HAD to folly my plans! Very well, then, I shall do away with you first, while he watches you physically feel the very same wrath you inflicted upon this world!” and thus, he took a syringe and, despite all her struggling, she was still bound to the chair, and he had no problem injecting her with more of whatever that horrible liquid was – It made her even hazier than before, and her vision became blurry – Not even by straining, could she see well in front of her anymore – And it made her panic, trying to breathe faster, as she felt the cold metallic barrel of the weapon placed cruelly on her forehead – It only made her skin feel even hotter than it already was. “So, I’m guilty…For being alive. For trying to save people. And you…You are…Innocent. You are a hero…For killing. You are no God. You have no right to take away the lives God gave to those people. You are not the Judge, nor the Executioner. If you so firmly believe in Christianity, you would know that God hates no one – In fact, he loves all he created, equally – And would never approve of such senseless killing. You just chose to pick apart a few paragraphs that suited your narrative… And you went with it, using a foreign Deity as your scape goat. You are absolutely pathetic and a sorry excuse of a man and a constable. You should be ashamed of yourself.” Her words shocked the prince, but also made him afraid for her – Unlike her, he could see the twisted look of anger on his face – And he could anticipate his next move – As he saw the culprit strike down the girl once again, with such force that the chair tipped over and she fell on the ground with it. “I shall now pass my verdict to this witch! Those who are foolish and arrogant are unreasonable. It is from excessive arrogance, for deceiving the holy court and committing falsehood…I declare Y/N, the Imperial Detective Constable, to be executed at exactly 2:00 in the morning.” He declared, looking at the sand falling down in an hourglass, and leaving the room just briefly. “Yin Zhen…Is there any way out for us?”Y/N asked, hoping she was loud enough for the prince to

hear. “Yes, there is. I just need a little more time. Y/N…Do you know what that metallic object was?” he asked, trying to cut away the ropes with a stray nail he found on the chair. “It’s a gun. Horrible European invention. Honestly…I’m so tired. I just…Want to rest for a while…And get this over with…I want back home…I want to see the mountains in Hunan again…And the flowers bloom. I want to play in the river and catch fish…And pick fruit from up the tree…And make wine and cakes…And have them with you….Yin Zhen?” she let her head back on the chair’s seat, looking up at the wooden ceiling, as she sighed deeply. “Let’s get the hell out of here, I’m so done with sins and whatever.” And thanking herself for training to be flexible, and that the ropes were tied as neatly as they should have been, she bent down enough for her tied up hand to reach into her hair and pull away the hair ornament that had a very sharp needle, so she could cut away her restraints with moderate ease.

However, as soon as she got up and tried to take a step forward…She stumbled and almost fell down. “Is this what it’s like to be drunk? Because if it is…I hate it.” She groaned, gripping her head, as everything began to spin in around her at an even faster pace, so badly, that she had to catch onto something. “Y/N, look out!” the prince yelled at her, as the constable came back, ready to pounce on her, but she turned around, slamming her needle hand into his flesh, as she tried to pull away his gun-hand from her as much as possible.

However, the needle was very old, and it broke from all the commotion – Her drugged self was none the better either – And with just a bit more strength put into it, the constable wrenched his gun arm from her grasp and he punched her to the ground, knocking out the air from her lungs. It really pissed her off, and she wanted to rip him apart limb from limb, but the drugs were too strong still to allow her to do anything that she wanted to do.

As she struggled to get up, she heard the unfamiliar sound of the gun cocking, and then, a demonically loud explosion – Was that the sound of the gun shooting? She wondered, and yet, why didn’t it hurt her? Why didn’t she feel anything? She was sure that, should he shoot, he would shoot her – He wanted her to be in pain and feel the physical consequences of implied wrath.

“Y/N, are you alright?!” ah, that’s Yin Zhen calling out her name like that! And he was struggling…Yes, he must be wrestling the killer. “Yeah, I’m good, but be careful with that gun! One shot and it could kill you!” she called back, and got on her knees as soon as she heard the sound of the heavy, metal object fall to the ground.

As she heard the two men struggling to take the other down, she searched around almost blindly for the gun, and after some time, she finally managed to catch a hold of it, and with shaky hands, she properly held it in her hands, the barrel pointing forwards. The killer was dressed I dark colours, while Yin Zhen’s whole outfit was a bright gold, so, as Y/N strained her eyes to see better, she took a deep breath and pulled the trigged – And then static – Her ears were ringing, and she groaned, the gun falling from her hands as she gripped her head, covering her ears, hoping the horrible ringing noise would stop already.

“Yin Zhen, are you okay?!” she called out, struggling to get back to the shaky reality, hoping the drug’s effect would go away faster already. “…Yeah. You killed him. It’s finally over.” He sighed, going to her side and picking her up bridal style, leaving the place and going back to the inn. However, instead of going back inside, the prince made a detour, and chose to go to the highest hill, where the flowery trees were untouched by the city. “How did you know where to shoot, despite being drugged and not seeing well?” he asked, very curious, as they sat down on the grass, at the bottom of a tree. “…I may sometimes make fun of you for wearing such bright and colourful clothes…But if it was Yin Zhi, I wouldn’t have been able to pick apart the two silhouettes. So, to answer your question…Pure luck, I guess.” She shrugged, sighing and leaning her head on his shoulder, looking up at the moon, seeing it fall down, as the dawn was beginning to come, and the sky was painted in the most beautiful colours there were – And even better, her vision was beginning to clear up. “Let’s hope we won’t have to deal with anything foreign again. This was more of a drag than it should have been.”The prince said, and the girl could only grumble in agreement. “Ah…Right. Uhm…This…It broke. I don’t think it can be repaired anymore.” She muttered sadly as she took out the broken hair pin from her pocket. “This…I didn’t realise you still had this. It’s been so long since I gave you this pin.” He gingerly took it in his hands, but it wasn’t sorrow on his face – No, instead, he was smiling, realizing the feelings she had for him were as strong as ever. “…It’s the only piece of jewellery I wore since then.” Her voice was soft, the little fawn was brave, and speaking. She was honest with herself, with her heart…And with him. “No matter. I can give you any jewellery you want. This was old and I’m surprised it lasted as much.” He chuckled lightly, but the girl shook his head, confusing him. “…I don’t want any jewellery, Yin Zhen. You don’t get it. This…You picked this, thinking of me. You wanted this hair pin to be mine. To wear it. You thought it suited me. You thought it would make me think of you…And it did. And I only wore this one, and every day. I knew it would keep me safe…So I put it on again just before approaching that house. Guess your heart will always protect me. So, you understand? I don’t want just any jewellery. I want a piece of your heart, soul and thoughts to be in anything you give me, otherwise, it’s completely worthless to me.” She explained, snatching back the pieces of the broken accessory, making the prince smile fondly at her. “Very well, I understand what you mean, and I know just what to do. So, for the first gift I will give you…Have this jade pendant. I had it made for me a long while ago. It’s been mine, so, it’s a part of me. And now, I give it to you, to watch over you and protect you. I held it on my sword’s scabbard, I think it suits the black and gold of it very well…And so will yours.” He declared, taking both his and her swords, and trading the two pendants on each sword. “And I shall take yours, as a gift, so I can have a piece of your heart with me as well, wherever I go and you’re not next to me.” His teasing smile crept on his face as he heard her chuckle, snatching her pendant from his hand, tying it to his sword by herself. “That’s much better. It counts when the other gives it to you themselves, dummy.” She let him hold her to his side, as they watched the sky in silence.

When morning finally came, they got up, ready to wake up a very grumpy 3rdPrince, then went to the brothel matron to tell her they will be leaving, and who the real killer was, so they can find themselves a new law enforcer…This time, not a homicidal one.

“Are you sure you won’t be staying one more night, cutie? I mean, we didn’t even have the time to get acquainted with each other…It’s pitiful.” The woman whined, but the prince was indifferent. “There is only one woman alone who owns my heart.” He chuckled, waving the girls goodbye as they got on their horses and went back to the capital. “Very smooth, Princeling.” The girl laughed at him, kicking the horse to go faster, almost as if she was challenging him for a race. “I know what I want in this life.”He declared, and for the remaining long journey, they’ve been teasing each other enough for the 3rd prince to curse them regularly…More so than usual.

“I am very proud of the three of you for solving such a horrible crime. And to think the constable himself was the perpetrator all along! To attempt to commit such a horrible act of regicide…I am glad he got killed by his own weapon.” The Emperor sighed, stroking his beard and shaking his head in disbelief and disappointment. “Father, without Y/N, we couldn’t have done it. She played the crucial role in all the mystery-solving and having the courage to fire such a dangerous and strange contraption. It was lucky she was versed enough in foreign culture and literature for her to pick up on the hints given by the killer at each crime.” The 4th Prince praised the Detective girl, who merely cleared her throat awkwardly. “Your father will be very proud of you when I tell him of your brave deeds! I will have to think of a reward for you, but if you have something in your mind, do tell, and anything shall be granted.”The Emperor spoke, dismissing them. As they bowed, ready to exit the room, the girl smirked, turning around playfully. “I want to marry your son.” She laughed, running away from the Palace of Mental Cultivation, back to her own small place, leaving the two princes and the Emperor to blink and gasp in shock at her boldness. “About time.” Yin Zhen huffed, smirking, as he rushed to catch up with her as well. “Those two are such idiots…But I guess…Together, they will be good rulers in the future. Don’t you think, Father?” the 3rdPrince smirked in amusement, looking out at those two. “This youthfulness and open-mindedness is sure to be a great addition to this country in the future. Until them, let them be children at heart, for just a little while longer.” The Emperor chuckled whole-heartedly, closing his eyes and reminding his own youth, as it was so long ago.

Back at her palace, she hid behind the heavy drapes as she quickly and very skillfully fidgeted with a red rope – She’s been practicing it for a long time, and by now, she could say she was sort of an expert at this – And before she realized it, the drape was strongly pulled away, and in front of her, an amused prince towered over her, not caring about the poor maid’s pleas to get out.

“Found you.” He watched carefully as he noticed her face raise, and her eyes directly look into his – She got more courage, this fawn – He wondered if she really was just a sweet fawn anymore, or if another spirit animal found its way inside her heart. “Found me.” She mused, holding up the red knot for him to take. “This…This is the Love Knot, isn’t it? I’ve never seen it before.” He spoke, taking it from her hands. “And now, you give it to me. When did you even have the time to make something so intricate and complex, anyway?” he asked, looking at it with adoration. “I practiced it a lot when I was in the mountains, training. And besides…You sure took your sweet time getting here. Were you really so stunned by my statement that it took you so long to move?”she teased him, only for the man to quickly cup her face and kiss her – Her lips were as sweet as the last time they touched, and yet, now it was a proper kiss, and now, he felt her slender, small hands over his, as she deepened it with even more love, not wanting to let go of him any time soon. “I’m not the only one who loves to surprise.” The prince let out a soft, content breath, as he watched her eyes sparkle brighter than the moon itself…And she looked very much kissed – And her lips…They were plump, and in very need of more attention. “Clearly.” The corner of her mouth sprung upwards, very amused by his statement. “So, princeling, if your Father decides not to kill me after the stunt I pulled at the palace…Then, you got your answer. But, be very aware, I am not afraid to commit regicide on you, should you be a jerk to be at any time, understood?” she glared at him, more or less seriously, as she grabbed the front of his clothes, dragging him down to her level. “Crystal clear, darling.” He chuckled, nodding in understanding. “Good. Then, kiss me again.” She ordered, and he could only comply. “Any time, Y/N. Any time.”

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ahysopae · 3 years

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The Gifted episode 1, or how to start introducing 15 characters without overwhelming the viewer

The Gifted first foundation are the characters: each of them is beautifully flawed. They're close enough of archetypes to give to the viewer references (it's very important to have elements to link them to another character or to yourself - 'I see myself in them' is the best and easiest way to get you to love a character), but also each one of them has their identity clearly defined. But we have 15 characters in total, and even if some of them are mostly in the background (looking at the twins right now), it was not possible to introduce all at once (luckily, because I would never remember all their names in this case). I suppose it's one of the reasons for the switch of main character between the episodes (and since I'm a sucker for this type of thing, I'm in awe).

The first episode focus on Pang (of course it's our protagonist, our Percy Jackson - maybe I should dive in this later), but also introduce us, at least in the surface, to Nac, Wave, Namtarn, Ohm and Pom and give us hints on almost all of the others. Pang is at first shown to us as a voice-over, solidifying him as the narrator, even if we realize soon that what he says is for his webcam. The bit before the opening presents him like someone charismatic and determined, a teenager speaking about something than most people know, because they live or lived it. For the sake of this analysis/words vomit I will forget the introduction of the episode, with all the teasers for what's soon to come. So the Pang we meet later see himself as dumb: we saw him as a quick-witted boy, good to play innocent, a bit impertinent, not good at test and a bit pouty when he fails - but kind, at heart. A good kid. Through him we discover the school system in all its unfairness, and even if it's shown kinda jokingly, already the horror of it start to be apparent.

Pang for this bit is our introduction to the universe of the show, because we discover the rules with him. It's a pretty common way to lead the viewer or reader in a new universe (in Star Wars, the movie starts with Luke leaving his farm and discovering something else in the galaxy, Harry Potter is literally introduced to the magical world, the hobbits in lotr leave the little Shire to travel in the rest of the Middle Earth, ...). The important part it's that we can link the two: Pang, like the Gifted program, is more that we think at first. He is mostly more dangerous, and we have some clues of that with his first use of his potential - already in the first episode, already on Nac.

Pang's existence is also the first break in the system: him being both gifted and in 8th class is a paradox, and almost everyone seems not sure what to do with him (except Pom, maybe) him the first. He believes that he hasn't his place in the gifted program, and is really insecure about that.

Nac seems at first a nice friend. He is okay too help Pang with his plans (helping him with the phone and lying for him about his class at meal) and to share his room with him. He is also favorable to the school system (clearly because he is in the good side of the fence), even if he haven't a issue to bend or break the rules for his own advantage. His mask breaks when his friend (his dumb friend, to be precise) has better than him.

Nac has two uses in the narrative: he is an opposite mirror of Wave (in words and in attitude - where Wave is prickly, Nac is charming, but both of them use the same insult, leech, on Pang about his relationship with the other) and he is a trigger to Pang's potential. In fact he is probably the one Pang controls the most in the season (I don't remember if he uses his potential two or three time on him, so don't quote me on that, I will probably realize my mistake later on).

Wave - well, Wave is Wave. The first thing we see of him is in the classroom while Pang runs with the phone he takes back (remember, I don't cover the introduction's part here, because the first thing we see of him is, in fact, a background for a second during an exam and him punching Pang). He looks extremely bored, almost sleeping on his table (in contrast with Nac, on the same line than him, who drinks the teacher's words), until Pang literally break the studious ambiance, proving again that he is here to disturb the established order. Already we know that Wave doesn't feel the need to hide when something bore him, even if he is in a social situation where he should. He comes out like not good socially, arrogant and not the type to try to please.

His first interaction with Pang is a disaster (like no Wave, it's not how you flirt make a friend), and could place him on the school's side (symbolized by the ominous Ladda) even if we realize soon enough that the only side Wave chooses is his own. It leads again to a confrontation Nac/Wave, where Wave is defined as a solitary kid, in contrast with the sociable Nac. Nac himself establishes Wave as a mathematical/computer genius who takes pride in his intelligence (and the flashback, by focusing at first on Punn, gives us an hint of him as almost as intelligent than Wave - he raises his hand almost as fast but more politely - until we realize Wave doesn't write his answer. It tells us that Punn is clever, well-mannered and hard-working, and also that his relationship with Wave will be competitive but they are linked in a way or an other).

Him reveling the meaning of potentials just after Pang understood it and seemed ready to give the answer (even if it was in fact to ask to leave), is a proof that they could form a good team -or be the worst of enemies.

For Namtarn, lets first address the elephant in the room: I don't believe one instant the "romantic" interaction between Pang and her (cut to my mum telling "if it's how men and women interact in Thailand, their birth rate must be really low"). It's worst again in contrast with Claire and Punn, who are almost glued to the hips, or the friendship between Korn and Claire or Mon, or between Namtarn and Ohm. They tried romance, I see clumsy awkward people, and I can't believe it's not voluntarily.

Aside from that, Namtarn appears like perceptive, guessing who is Pang and that he is in the gifted class, a bit curious and nice, even if socially she's not the best (and I mean, yeah, they're 15-years-olds, so it's normal, like it's normal if some of them are cocky to the extreme). It could give us some clue about the fact that she grows up pretty sheltered, but it's maybe a stretch for my part.

Ohm first phrase is for asking a pen (does someone counted how many pens Ohm loses? It will be a fun statistic). He comes as the smiley-go-lucky kind of guy, telling everything that crosses his mind, putting his feet on his mouth every time he speaks. Also for the enigma posed by Pom he clearly doesn't know the answer and only raise his hand to follow the group.

Side question but why no one give him tissues? Boy nosebleeds every two minutes.

The first we see of Pom is when Pang and Nac try to steal the exam's results. His face stay in the shadow while we discover he is in charge of the exam. I feel obligated to point that we see his face a bit more after he drops his pen, and we know how much this pen is important for the rest of the plot (I'm realizing right now that it's in fact, a Chekhov's gun) . For his first apparition before the class, he has an image of a nice teacher, asking his students to call him by his nickname. Already we can link the metronome to him, since its in the classroom (since it's shown while Ohm has a nosebleed trying to resolve the rubik's cube, we can say it's linked to the potential too, but it's maybe a stretch).

To ends that, I want to point that the first plan where we see all the gifted class, when Pang enters, gives us a lot of information about the characters and their relationships together (It also puts us in Pang's shoes). We have the group Mon-Korn-Claire-Punn: Korn smile to Mon and Claire, Claire speaks to Mon and Korn before turning her head to Punn, her body already directed to him, Punn is separated to them since he sits on his table, but his body is turned in Claire's direction too. Namtarn is ready to take note, her back straight, while Ohm is slumped on his table and looks around. When we have a plan on each of them watching Pang, Mon's face is open and curious, Korn kinda shy away, Claire is disdainful, Punn is attentive, the twins gauge him (and already they have matching band-aids and Wave rolls his eyes so hard he clearly make it voluntarily.

#the gifted #the gifted the series #the gifted rewatch #the gifted episode 1 #analysis

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oneletteredwondered · 4 years

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Insulted

Sum: Virgil works at a coffee shop and Remus is annoying. Annoyingly pretty.

Pair: Virgil/Remus, Dukexiety

Written for @dukexietyweek! Day 4: Coffee (Shop)

Warnings: Lots of swearing, mentions of the word pedophile in reference to Remus’ mustache, insulting remarks towards customers, some awkwardy mild panic feels, mostly stupid interactions.

Roasted is a fairly popular coffee shop. If only for the tourist attraction aspect of it that the employees are allowed to be as mean as they want to you and insult you with every order. They’re snarky and rude, and unless they actually get your order wrong, which they don’t, they don’t apologize for shit. They’re delighted when new-comers enter the shop unaware of the rules.

And whatever deity believed in above help the poor soul who asks for the manager because they are worse than the employees with a wicked wit and sharper tongue.

The rest of the employees would be scared of the manager because of this, but they have seen the man have a panic attack over potentially not having enough straws for the day even after three separate employees offered to go to the store and buy some. They’ve also seen the manager cry because they saw a video of a spider that was too cute for words which renders him pretty unintimidating. Besides, the manager has always been on their side of an argument anyway.

It’s a slow day and Virgil knows Missy hasn’t been sleeping right, or eating right, or feeling like she’s been doing anything right. So he packs her a muffin and a hot chocolate, and tells her to fuck off on home for the day. She doesn’t say thank you but the relief is clear in her shoulders so he knows it was the right thing to do. Besides it’s dead right now and he can handle a few customers for the time being until another employee shows up.

He serves a few people, some very eager to be insulted, some coming in with gaudy outfits for the sole purpose of being insulted, he has fun with those.

“What do you want?” He asks the next person in line, not even looking up from the register.

“I’ll have a large cup of whatever you are.” The person says and Virgil narrows his eyes and looks up. He stares at the stranger for all of three seconds.

“You have a pedo mustache.” Is what he says. The stranger breaks into a wide grin.

“Why thank you!” They sound far too delighted by that. Virgil continues to glare at them while writing the word ‘pedo stache’ on a large cup.

“What do you want?” He asks again more forcefully. The stranger hums in thought and Virgil would snap at them for taking too long but they are the only one in line right now.

“Hello?? Hurry up?” Screw it. He snaps his fingers in their face. Stranger man gives him a wicked smile and Virgil hates the little lurch in his chest because holy fuck and wait stranger is actually kind of pretty. Even with a fucking thin line mustache. Their eyes are bright green and streaks of white are layered in their hair. And Virgil always was a sucker for people with piercings and this dude sure has some to spare.

“Well if you’re not on the menu, I’ll have the raspberry lime tea. Hot as you please,” They say. Virgil writes cold on the cup.

“Anything else you fucking weirdo?” Virgil asks cause seriously it is kind of rude to be flirting with employees while they’re working but in the worst way Virgil kind of likes it cause it means he can say shit like that.

“Oh shit uhm, fuck.” Stranger man says and Virgil glares at them. Both for not being ready and also he kind of likes the way they say fuck which is not what he was expecting to deal with today.

“Jesus Christ dude were you not ready to order like why are you wasting my time?” Virgil demands. A few patrons of the place snicker into their cups and stranger just smirks at him.

“Sorry I don’t have a brain to mouth filter and it gets worse when I see a pretty person,” They wink and Virgil glares harder to will away the attempt at a blush on his cheeks.

“What else do you waaaaant.” He whines at them. Stranger laughs and pulls out a piece of paper. Virgil can already see the long list of items on it and groans.

“Relax it’s all one order,” Stranger says and Virgil scoffs.

“That’s so much worse!” He says. Stranger laughs hard at that.

“Well it’s not mine, princess back at the office is a picky bitch.” Stranger says with comically wide eyes and Virgil hates himself for it but he snorts. He schools his face back to neutrally angry and refuses to give the stranger the satisfaction of seeing him smile just yet.

So stranger man rattles off a long winded order that Virgil groans at with every new direction. He can easily make the drink of course that won’t be hard but he can complain about it so he will. He writes ‘princess’ on this cup.

Stranger man pays and Virgil sets about making the drinks very aware of the other watching him from the waiting counter.

“You just gunna keep staring at me like a stalker or what?” Virgil snips at them, pausing for dramatic effect. Mustache dude grins at him and leans on the counter with his head in his hands.

“I like the view,” He says. Virgil makes a retching sound and keeps making the drinks in question. He does his damn best with them and hands them off.

“Get the fuck out of my establishment,” He says and turns away. Stranger laughs and takes his drinks.

“Thanks for the buzz baby!” He calls out as he exits. Virgil flips him off.

As soon as the dude is out of sight, Virgil collapses on the counter in a heap of nerves and embarrassment. The only reason he was able to keep his cool was because he could hide it behind a massive amount of snark and spite. But stranger man was super pretty and wild and Virgil almost wishes he did something about it.

“You okay?” Parker asks when they show up for their shift.

“Do I fucking look okay?” Virgil asks them desperately. Parker just laughs and that’s good enough of answer for him.

“Hello gorgeous!” Virgil snaps his head up from the counter he’s cleaning.

“Oh hell no,” He says and walks away from the front to the back office, leaving his employees to handle Mr Mustache in his stead. He can’t handle it right now. Not when they’re wearing a fucking leather jacket and wild smile. He just can’t do it. So he hides in the back for as long as he can. Which ends up being about a whole ten minutes.

“Uh boss man?” Virgil groans cause that’s him. He’s boss man. Fuck. He drags his hands down his face and looks over at Todd. Todd shifts from foot to foot.

“There’s uhm. I just. Can you-” They don’t have to finish. Mom friend override has been activated and Virgil is heading to the front no questions asked. It’s not a rush right now thank goodness, but they lady at the counter is giving her all in 'entitled customer'.

“This is an outrage, I want to speak to the manager.”

“The fuck you want bitch?” Virgil says without thinking. The lady gapes at him openly.

“This is the worst shop I have ever been in.” She says as if that’s supposed to hurt. Virgil shrugs at her.

“You’re the worst customer that’s ever been in, did you want coffee or not?” He asks her and she gapes again and walks out.

“Put another ten in the draw for walk outs.” Virgil tells Todd who beams and takes the money from the register to put in a jar near the back. Once it’s full they have a party of some kind.

“That was beautiful,” A voice says and Virgil whips around and comes face to face with Stranger Man over the counter. They’re smiling at him crookedly and Virgil's mouth drops because he was not prepared to see them here still or this close to him or so damn pretty.

“Fuck you,” Is his reflex response.

“When and where darling?” Stranger angles over the counter to leer at him and Virgil squeaks. Full on, flat out, squeaks in embarrassment. The entire room seems to pause and watch. Virgil is frozen in shock and stranger looks like he just saw light for the first time which is absolutely unfair.

Virgil dips, and dips hard. He spins on his heel to lock himself in the office. He makes it there only to realize he can’t handle being in such a small space with his anxiety overriding him. He snatches his jacket off the back wall and catches Todd’s eye before he slips out the back door and into open air.

Once outside he leans against the wall, puts his head in his hands, and lets out a very pitiful whine as he sinks to the ground. That has to be one of the softest things he’s ever done in regards to a customer in his life and it will haunt him for years to come he knows it.

He spends a few minutes running through his breathing exercises which goes directly to shit when he hears footsteps approaching.

“I’m fine Todd go back to work,” He snaps.

“The name’s Remus actually.” Virgil jolts and looks at the stranger standing over him. Stranger, or well, Remus, gives him a small sheepish smile and pulls at a random strand of his hair. Virgil sinks lower in on himself.

“You’re a lot different in and out of shop.” Remus says after a sufficiently awkward silence. Virgil grumbles and hides his face in his arms. His entire body tenses when he feels Remus slide to sit beside him.

“I am uh. Like, legit sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” Remus mutters. Virgil groans.

“I was not ready to deal with your stupid pretty face today.” He whines. Remus laughs at that.

“You think I’m pretty?” He asks and Virgil realizes his mistake in word choice. He glances up to Remus in panic cause now that he's admitted it, Remus looks even more pretty.

“Well I just- you know it’s- I don’t- Whatever!” Virgil word vomits all over the place. Remus continues to smile at him infuriatingly.

“Even with the pedo stache?” Remus continues to tease. Virgil decides he’s had enough and elbows Remus hard as he can. Remus lurches a little but he’s laughing. They lapse into an easier silence.

“Silver tongue ain’t so shiny out of work is it?” Remus asks him then but not meanly. Virgil snorts and covers his mouth with his hand to hide his smile.

“I have to get passed the awkward first,” He says. Remus hums in thought and snatches Virgil’s hand away from his face. Virgil lets out a dignified noise and snaps his jaw shut so hard it clicks when Remus places a kiss on his palm... then licks him.

“Gross what the fuck!” Virgil yanks his hand back and wipes off the slobber and decidedly not looks at Remus’s blinding grin.

“There! Now it’s not so awkward!” Instead of an answer, Virgil stands up and heads back inside the shop, leaving Remus cackling in the back. Virgil leans up against the door to hear him walk away and finds himself smiling at the interaction.

“Welcome to Roasted, or not welcome because we close soon I don’t actually care, what do you want?” Virgil is looking through receipts, making sure the till is all correct for the money they made today.

“I want your number.” Virgil freezes. He blinks dumbly at the papers in his hands and then up to Remus standing casually at the counter. His hands are in his pockets and he looks for the world unbothered but more subdued than Virgil has seen him before.

“Numbers not on the menu,” Virgil says dumbly in attempt to cover his frantic feelings. Remus shrugs and looks around the empty shop.

“Yeah but it’s what I want.” He says it so plainly. Virgil glares at him.

“Order something or get out.” That causes Remus to smirk. He orders a small tea and Virgil makes it silently, adding the receipt to the pile to check on. He pauses before handing the drink over, looking over his shoulder at Remus who is preoccupied with some of the decorative things on the walls. Virgil writes his number on the cup.

“Get your shit and get out,” He says and puts the cup on the counter, going back to his papers and ignoring the way his heart pounds in his chest at what he just did. Remus gives him a sad sort of look and leaves with his drink leaving Virgil wondering if he did the right thing.

Only for his stomach to swoop pleasantly when Remus swoops back into the shop 3 minutes later with a wild smile on his face and refuses to leave until they work out the plans for a dinner date.

“Go away.” Virgil greets.

“Never.” Remus smirks back at him.

#dukexietyweek2020 #virgil sanders #remus sanders #dukexiety #fic #my post

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emsylcatac · 4 years

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A very happy birthday to my amazingly sweet friend @rosekasa ♪♥ I hope you’ll have a wonderful day!

Have a dummies fic as a wee gift ♥

Kiss shy

Summary:

Marinette was on a mission. Three weeks into an impromptu reveal, the same three weeks into a relationship with her partner. And yet, they still hadn’t kissed. She didn’t know how much more she could take.

So tonight, she would kiss him. Right on the mouth.

Read it on AO3

* * * * *

Marinette was on a mission. She was going to kiss Adrien today. Right on the mouth.

Three weeks into an impromptu reveal, the same three weeks into a relationship with her partner. She knew he loved her, she knew she loved him, everything was fine and good and the birds were still singing louder in her heart than outside of the school’s windows.

“So,” Alya whispered from her seat next to her, “have you two finally kissed?”

Marinette’s head slumped on the table with a groan. Because for all of Adrien’s—of Chat Noir’s— grand claim of wanting a kiss from her, no, they had not kissed yet. She didn’t know how much more she could take.

Alya giggled next to her. Marinette threw her a dark look. Oh, she could giggle all she wanted—she wouldn’t laugh so much at the end of the day. When Marinette would have kissed Adrien. She’ll have to congratulate her instead.

“I’m so sorry, Marinette,” she choked out between giggles—she wasn’t sorry at all, Marinette decided, “I know how long you’ve been dreaming of doing it. Maybe he’s kiss shy?”

Kiss shy? Kiss shy?! Chat Noir?! Ha! As if. That was a good joke if any. No, Marinette thought, thinking of all the times he had kissed her hand, of all the times he had jokingly leaned in and asked for a kiss, and all the times he had looked longingly at her lips when he thought she couldn’t see, no, Adrien was definitely not kiss shy.

“I mean,” Alya continued, “you should see his face every time you take his hand; it’s like he can’t believe it’s happening and doesn’t know what to do with himself.”

Marinette frowned. It was true that he seemed a little unresponsive, now that she thought about it.

“The only person I’ve seen redder in the face than him when it happens is you.”

Marinette gasped loudly, hit by a sudden realisation. “Alya… What if...what if the reason is because he doesn’t want to have too much attention on him? He is famous after all.” She turned to her best friend and grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her a little. “What if his father doesn’t want Adrien to date anyone and Adrien doesn’t know how to tell me and he’s been trying to avoid kissing me because of it, so no one would know and oh my God I’ve been screaming about us for all my friends to know that we’re together and—”

“Wow wow WOW,” Alya cut her, “wow, girl, calm down. No. No, I don’t think that’s it, you’re reaching too far! Don’t you think that he would have told you something if that were the case?”

“Maybe?”

“Don’t you think he would have warned you when you got together?”, Alya insisted. “How did you two agree to date again?”

Marinette frowned, trying to remember the events. It was a little bit blurry because she had felt so many emotions that day at the same time that her brain had troubles to puzzle what had happened exactly and in which order. Accidental reveal, freak out following, them hugging each other, she had cried a lot too—

“I don’t think he warned me of anything,” Marinette said, still trying to replay all the events following their reveal. “And I think it just all happened...naturally.”

“See? Then there’s nothing to worry about. Just talk to him about it, I’m sure you can both figure it out!” Alya reassured. “And maybe, you’ll realise that I was right and that he’s just kiss shy.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “He is not kiss shy.”

Maybe she should kiss Adrien tonight during patrol instead, so nobody from school might accidentally witness them. She also quite liked the idea of sharing her first kiss with him in private. In a secluded area, where no one would surprise them, where they could have a beautiful view on the city and it would be so romantic and—

Yes, she thought, tonight. Tonight, she would kiss Adrien full on the lips and render the both of them completely silly.

* * * * *

Adrien was going to die. Killed, murdered in cold blood by Marinette. She was going to be the end of him. He had no idea how much more he could take, really, before he would finally snap.

He had been so thrilled to see that Marinette was Ladybug. She was already his dear friend so it was the best possible outcome—except that he had also quickly understood that he was even more screwed than before.

We’re just friends, he kept repeating himself, nothing more. She’s in love with someone else.

Only friends, he mentally repeated again, when she would take his hand in hers out of the blue, the best of friends and partners.

Nothing more, as she would rub circles on his palm with her thumbs and caress each of his fingers with hers.

She’s in love with someone else, as she would take a strand of his hair and put it back behind his ear repeatedly, brushing his cheek with her hand in the process. And looking at him with the softest expression he’d ever seen on her.

Sometimes she would even take his arm when they walked side by side, and hug it close to her, humming and giggling happily. Adrien had to force himself to look straight ahead of him and hope his feet would cooperate until they’d reach their destination.

He didn’t know why she was doing all of this and why she was so affectionate, even more than she used to be with Chat Noir before their reveal. Not that he was complaining—well. He could complain about how unfair it all was. She knew he was still in love with her, right?

He had to talk to her about it. Oh, how much he was dreading the conversation. How he was dreading the sure-to-come confirmation of her feelings for someone else more than before, because now, now they knew their identities and it would feel even more real. Not that he was planning on confessing—but he had to tell her to stop for now, no matter how much he wished she wouldn’t. Before his heart would explode and he would just grab her face and kiss her silly.

That would be bad. Really, really bad.

Adrien entered the classroom and looked at Marinette, who was unusually early and watching him with eyes filled with soft determination. Whatever that look meant.

“So early and we can already feel the sparks between you and your girlfriend, dude,” Nino whispered to him as he slid into his seat.

Right. If Marinette’s adorably sweet attitude with him wasn’t already bad enough for his sanity, the teasing habit his friends had happened to adopt—referring to her as “his girlfriend”—shortly after the reveal was making it so, so much worse.

“Ha ha,” he grumbled, “very funny.” He had long since given up on trying to correct Nino.

Tonight, Adrien thought, just as he felt a hand coming from behind to gently pet his hair and massage his head. Tonight, he would talk to Marinette, and ask her to stop unknowingly torturing his poor heart until he was finally ready to let her go.

* * * * *

She was late. She was so, so so late. Stupid.

She had probably debated too long on which lip balm to wear. Cassis? Strawberry? But what if he hated it? She had almost put on her passionfruit one, the one she had bought in case of an… emergency... and carried in her purse with her at all times, before deciding against it. Maybe the taste would be too artificial; maybe he wouldn’t like it.

And maybe he would never want to kiss her again, her brain had supplied. Which would be absolutely terrible.

She had brushed her teeth at least three times to be sure that everything would be perfect.

….Aaaand she brushed them a fourth time right before leaving, because she wasn’t sure anymore if she had really brushed her teeth or if she had imagined doing it. She had a wild imagination, after all, she could have just imagined brushing her teeth three times without having actually done it.

She almost forgot on her way out to grab the red rose she had been gardening on her balcony for a special occasion—special occasion being a date with Adrien, which was exactly what was going to happen, whether he knew it or not.

He was already there when she arrived. She practically bumped into him when she landed, but managed to catch herself at the last second.

“I’m so so sorry I took too much time to get ready! Thanks for waiting for me and not leaving!”

He turned around surprised, as if he hadn’t heard her before.

“Why wouldn’t I wait for you?”

She blinked. “I don’t know.”

He smiled. “You know that I’d wait for you for—” He sighed. “...Nevermind”.

“Forever?” she supplied, smiling softly, and pulling out the rose she had attached securely behind her back. The red rose she had taken from her own bush, that she had tended to and watched bloom for the last few weeks, the rose she had decided would be reserved just for him.

He looked at it with wide green eyes, and she could tell that he had clearly not been expecting it, and stared. And stared. Until slowly, very slowly, he put both his hands around it, and delicately took it between his fingers, his eyes still transfixed by it. He blushed, his cheeks turning redder and redder every second, a change that Marinette thought really suited him.

His eyes closed as he carefully brought the rose to his nose and inhaled the sweet scent, entirely missing Marinette’s fond expression as she watched him.

“It’s...beautiful,” he finally said, his voice barely a murmur. “And it smells wonderful, but…”

“Here,” she gently took the rose back from his hands and raised on her tiptoes to sink the stem in his messy hair. She adjusted it until she was sure it wouldn’t fall. “Pretty.”

His eyes widened once again and his mouth parted. Marinette didn’t know when was the right time to kiss someone, but with him looking at her like that, mesmerised by her actions, she decided that now was as good a time as any.

So she brought her face closer to his, placed a hand on each of his cheeks, and finally, finally kissed his lips.

His beautiful, soft, very unmoving lips.

Marinette pulled back less than two seconds later. If he had been red-faced before, it was nothing compared to how he was now. His breathing seemed to have stopped, and she would have been more worried about him if her own lungs hadn’t ceased to work as well.

...Maybe he was indeed kiss shy. Very, very kiss shy. Or maybe she kissed very badly. She should probably have worn the passionfruit lips balm! Why hadn’t she listened to her instinct again?

Adrien slowly brought a hand to his lips, staring at her with incredulous eyes.

“I...How...whaaaa—”

“I’m so sorry!” she cried before he could have a chance to talk and to tell her how awful kissing her felt. “I should have asked you before, or…or….” her eyes widened and she snapped her head back at him. “Maybe you don’t want us to be together anymore?”

“To-together…?” He stammered.

“That’s it, isn’t it? Oh no, you want to break up with me and you realised that being with me is actually not what you wanted and you didn’t know how to tell me—

“Marine—”

“—and it might be because you discovered my weird habit of eating raw pasta when I’m stressed—”

“My Lad—”

“—and I mean, yes, it is a little weird, but I promise you that it’s not so much of a big deal and I could stop if you asked and...and…” She grabbed him by both arms and looked at him with pleading eyes. She could already feel tears prickling at their corners. “Please tell me you don’t want to break up with me, Adrie—”

Her freakout was interrupted by warm lips on hers.

And just like that, every thought she’d had left her body and Marinette allowed herself to simply melt into the kiss. She could feel him tremble beneath her lips, and she was sure she was, too.

Adrien slowly pulled back and she was about to come back for another kiss but he interrupted her before she could.

“So...What’s that about us being together?” he asked, sounding distant.

“Uh?”

“I mean, not that I mind but...when did we decide on that?”

Marinette blinked. “So you don’t want to break up with me?”

He laughed nervously. “It’s...it’s hard to break up with someone you’re not in a relationship with? I think?”

“What do you mean by that? We’re not together?” Marinette could feel her panic rising again in her throat, her hands shaking and her tears coming back full force.

“I...don’t know?”

“Didn’t we get together after we revealed ourselves?” she searched his eyes.

He shook his head frantically, and looked more and more stunned the more the conversation went on.

“But I thought...I thought I told you that...that I…” Marinette replayed the events following the reveal. Freak out, tears, hug, some babbling she couldn’t quite remember what it was about exactly... “Oh my god,” she whispered. “I never told you I loved you, did I?”

“I...I think I would have remembered something like that, my Lady,” he said distantly again, a note of hysteria in his tone.

“You didn’t know we were together…” She suddenly snapped her head back at him with a gasp. “Are you...are you still in love with me?! Oh no, you’ve moved on, haven’t you? I’m too late? Oh no, no, no, no…” she clasped her head and could feel her tears flowing on her cheeks. She was so stupid! Of course he would have moved on with how much she had rejected him! And he hadn’t even noticed that she loved him...

Two hands grabbed hers and pulled them back from her head, before landing on her shoulders.

“Hey, hey, now. Do I look like I’m not in love with you?” Adrien asked, looking at her right in the eyes.

It was true that he did kiss her after all. He wouldn’t have done so if he didn’t mean it, right? “Yes? I mean, no? I mean, hello I’m in love with you would you like to go out with me and kiss me?” she blurted out.

Marinette had seen a lot of different expressions on both Adrien and Chat Noir’s face. She had also seen a lot of various soft and kind looks, but none of them, none of them could compare to how soft and happy and in love the one he was currently giving her was. His eyes were shining now, probably with tears, and the rose she had put in his hair was only making him all the more mesmerising. God, she loved him so much.

“I would love to,” he said breathless.

Marinette couldn’t help the giddy laugh escaping her. Soon, he joined her, and they were both giggling, pointing at each other as if the other was the idiot one in this misunderstanding.

“I told everyone I was dating you,” Marinette choked on her laugh.

“Oh, so that’s why Nino was calling you my girlfriend and I had no idea how to tell him to stop,” Adrien chuckled.

“Alya told me that you were probably kiss shy!”

He gasped indignantly. “Kiss shy? Me?”

“I know, right? I told her there was no way it was the case!” she said just as affronted.

They slowly calmed down and went back to gazing at each other.

“I love you…” Adrien whispered.

Marinette approached him, and once she was close enough, she brought a hand to caress his cheek with her thumb. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to kiss you, ever since we’ve been...well, ever since I thought that we were together.”

“Oh? Do show me, then, my Lady,” his murmured, his face coming closer to hers.

She smiled. “I’ve wanted to kiss you here,” and she kissed his cheek. “And here,” his forehead. “Here, too,” his other cheek. She bopped his nose, “here,” she kissed it; it made him giggle a little—she really liked that sound. She bit her lip, hesitating; “and...,” she kissed the crook of his neck, “here.” That stirred up a louder giggle out of him—she really, really liked that sound—and he retracted his neck.

“What was that?” she teased.

“Nothing!” he was quick to answer.

She wiggled her fingers. “Are you ticklish?”

“Noooooo….”

She grinned widely and started to tickle his neck while he whined and tried to get away from her. He was giggling so much now, and it made her laugh, too.

“Stop bullying me!”

“Fine. I’ll stop, I promise!” and she would. For now. He was way too cute for her to completely give up on this interesting discovery. And also... “I still wanted to kiss you somewhere else.”

He was looking at her a bit warily, before deciding to come back into her arms. “Oh. Where?”

His eyes were searching hers, and she brought a finger to his lips to caress them, wetting hers at the same time. “Here,” she murmured, and then she was kissing him and he was responding with enthusiasm.

She didn’t know how long they stayed there, in the Parisian night, feeling the cool wind in their hair and on their skin, in each other’s arms. Kissing. Discovering each other’s lips and mouth. Figuring out how it all worked; giggling when they missed or clash teeth. And most of all, loving each other.

Marinette had achieved her mission. It didn’t go exactly as planned, and it had been full of unexpected obstacles; but tonight, she had finally kissed Adrien. Right on the mouth. And it was everything that she had dreamed of—and more.

#happy birthday alizeh ♥#ii love you even if you bully me ♥#ml fanfic #post-reveal pre- relationship #or is it #post-reveal post relationship #?#ml fun #they're dumb ok #misunderstandings #myshitwriting #mine

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