#my best friend of 5 years- just down the drain

[norrizzandpia]

this might have to be more than one part, but can you please write a wrong number lando fic? like lando texts the wrong number somehow and they end up becoming good friends, they start falling for each other but lando lies about his identity the whole time until they meet or he tells the reader. and she’s pissed and she doesn’t know anything about f1 anyways so she doesn’t understand why he lied. with angst and stuff? idk if this is too specific or too much to ask!

Wrong Number, Right Person (LN4)

Summary: A wrong number leads Lando right to Y/n, but even the beautiful love they find together struggles to stand a chance against Lando’s lie of identity.

Warnings: none, BUT A HAPPY ENDING!!! Y/n’s bsf threatens to kill lando lol

Note: she is LONG! The word count is almost 9k oml but i have to say that @piastrification was a major help in making this because she read it for me and made it read less stupid! She also gave me some ideas so credit to her for that xx

If there was any moment where Y/n was beyond confused with absolutely no inkling of an answer, it was now. She stared down at her phone, clutching the device as she read over the message sitting on her Lock Screen over and over.

“What’s wrong?” Her best friend, Annie, asked. Her eyebrows were scrunched together in a way she had always done since they were kids, Y/n loved the way that had never changed. The two women had experienced so much growth over the years, but it was heartwarming to see some things hadn’t.

Her eyes flickered to Annie before turning her phone around, “Why does this person think I’m supposed to be meeting them in half an hour?”

Annie laughed out loud, taking the phone from the other girl’s hands and typing out a reply, “Seems like this poor person has the wrong number.”

When Y/n’s phone is returned to her grasp, she giggles at what Annie had done.

Unknown Number

Hey! Just letting you know I’ll be there in thirty minutes. Hope you aren’t running late like last time…

Y/n

Uh, I’m actually running really behind schedule. I won’t be able to get there until around three hours from now. Sorry.

The two girls continued their lunch, feeling a bit bad about messing with a stranger’s plans but laughing nonetheless. It wasn't until Y/n’s phone started blowing up that the color began to drain from their faces.

Unknown Number

WHAT? THREE HOURS????? WHAT?

Unknown Number

YOU’RE MESSING WITH ME RN

Unknown Number

If you don’t answer me in .5 seconds, I WILL show up to your house and wreck your shit

Unknown Number

LIKE WHAT? THREE HOURS? WE’VE HAD THESE PLANS FOR WEEKS MATE

Unknown Number

Literally answer me rn or I’m telling Oscar to help me plan your murder

Y/n’s hand clasped over her mouth as she frantically began to type out a reply, guilt settling over the amusement.

Y/n

You most definitely have the wrong number. Sorry, me and my friend thought it would be funny to tell you that your plans were basically ruined. Our bad. But, I have no idea who Oscar is and I pray for the person you are meaning to text rn. Plz don’t wreck their shit!

His response was immediate.

Unknown Number

Oh… sorry for my small outburst then. But, how am I meant to know this isn’t actually the person I’m trying to get a hold of?

Y/n laughed before Annie suggested taking a picture and sending it to the mysterious number. Probably stupid considering they had no idea who was on the other side of the phone, but an image was sent regardless.

Y/n

*Image Attached*

Y/n

I am most definitely not whoever you are trying to get a hold of.

The number doesn’t respond for a few minutes, busy for all they know or getting bored of texting a supposed stranger. However, her phone dings on the table and the two girls peek to see the response.

Unknown Number

Woah, you are for sure not who I am meant to be texting right now.

Unknown Number

You are very pretty tho

Y/n giggled,

Y/n

Thank you, but not thank you if you are an old man or serial killer. I don’t take compliments from psychos.

Unknown Number

Haha no I am not an old man or serial killer. I’m a child in a 24 year old man’s body.

Y/n

How do I know this for sure?

Unknown Number

Trust me?

Y/n

Okay, ig. What’s your name?

The food comes to the table and Annie begins to dig in, watching her best friend closely before the girl puts her phone down.

“He stopped responding. I asked for his name. Probably got scared or something.” She murmurs before cutting into her chicken. Annie nods her head side to side before they take up another topic of conversation, seemingly moving on from the previous random male who had interrupted their lunch.

However, there’s another vibration on the table ten minutes later. Y/n picks up her phone.

Unknown Number

Robert :) But, people call me Bob. What’s yours?

Y/n

I am going against everything my parents ever taught me by telling a stranger my name and what I look like… but I’m Y/n :)

Y/n

Btw bob sounds like a fake name that’s so funny

🏎️

The next day, Y/n wakes up to yet another message from Bob- who had begun to take up the majority of her text notifications’ real estate. She didn’t mind in the slightest, though. They got on like a house on fire, banter, jokes and conversation free-flowing at any given time.

Bob!

Good morning :)

Bob!

Wait, is it morning for you? Where do you even live?

Y/n

Okay, stalker. It’s literally 9 am, why am I already having to deal with a man trying to get my address.

Bob!

GIRL WHAT? That isn’t what i meant and you know it, Y/n

Y/n

Yes, i know what you meant, bob. I’m just joking lol

Y/n

I live in London! What about you?

Bob!

Monaco

Y/n

Shit, girl. You’re rich asf?

Bob!

NO nah nah nah. Y/n, I literally work as a server here. I enjoy the glamor tho

Y/n

Oh… so no diamond necklaces :( You could’ve been my sugar daddy, bob.

Bob!

😭

Y/n

No i joke I JOKE i can buy my own damn diamond necklaces

Bob!

Of course you can, Y/n. I’m not surprised.

Her heart warms at his portrayed support, and even though her bank account is in the negative, she likes to think Bob believes in her just as Annie does. Maybe he actually did.

She shakes her head at her thoughts. I’ve known him for a day, she thinks. He shouldn’t already mean this much to her. She doesn’t even know him.

Y/n

Ty, bob :) I have to go though. I have so much to get done today.

Bob!

Ok! text me when you’re free?

Y/n

yesss

—

There is a small void in Y/n’s body as she unlocks the front door of her apartment. A day of being broken down has taken its toll on her. Usually, it doesn’t get to her, the stress and pressure of it all, but today, as she flops down onto her ratty couch, part of her wants to give up.

Her phone buzzes underneath her leg.

Bob!

Are you free yet?? It’s been all day, y/n!!!

Y/n

sry, i just got home.

Bob!

Just now? Didn’t you leave at like 9:30 this morn??

Y/n

yeah

Bob!

Y/n, its 10:45 at night for you

Y/n

that would be correct… how did you know that?? Tracking my time zone, Robert?

Bob!

you might be scared to hear I have London saved on my world clock so I can see it at all times

Y/n

thats love fr

Y/n

but yeah its been a long day

Bob!

oh, well, im sorry :( how are you? Tired?

Y/n

Yeah, definitely. Just a hard day in general.

Bob!

Talk to me about it then <3

Her face blushes before the color is being forced back beneath her face. She doesn’t know this man enough to tell him all her sorrows. He’s just being nice.

Y/n

it’s ok. Thank you tho bob

Bob!

Who else are you planning to talk to abt it then?

Y/n

no one?

Bob!

you need to talk about it y/n to let it go. Talk to me.

Y/n

We barely know each other.

Bob!

Do i look like i care?

She laughs and types,

Y/n

Bob, I don’t even know what you look like

Bob!

We’ll fix that someday :) Now talk to me about everything

Y/n takes a breath before her fingers begin flying across the keyboard.

Y/n

People are just mean. I try so hard everyday to give my all and my best effort, to not let people down, but I seem to still do it. I can’t quite get things right and my boss is suffocating me with the way he looms over me like I can't hold my own. It makes me think I can't. There’s no room for mistakes or excuses, you have to be perfect in the office i work and i will never be that. There’s this other girl who holds my same position yet she does it so much better. I will never hold a candle to her and I know that. She’s everything I want to be because she accomplishes everything I can't. My boss knows it, everyone knows it, and it makes me feel like an outsider. I can’t share certain memories with these people or fit in quite right because I haven't been able to achieve the same success as they have. I know I’m just starting out and I have the rest of my life to surpass them, but what if I can't? What if I am never able to gain a good understanding and I am constantly behind?

There are tears pooling in her eyes as she relives the moments of her day when certain tasks were given to this girl she envies, Sam, while her boss gave her a look that had her close to quitting on the spot. Sam gets to revel in the future while Y/n stays in terror of it. A career path she has wanted all her life taunting her.

Bob!

I can relate to that. I can understand the feeling of seeing everyone around you get something you want so dearly while you share the same tools they do and yet you still come up empty. But I’ve also learned that good things come with time and we can’t always be yearning for something that isn’t meant to happen right now. What’s meant to happen will happen for you, I’m sure of it, Y/n. I know it’s hard to not be jealous or feel inadequate, but you just have to make peace with the fact that you try your best and that’s enough. You’re a good person, Y/n. All the good will come to you.

There’s something in his words that makes her feel heard and for once, Y/n finds peace in another’s reassurance. She doesn’t want to think about what that means toward who Bob is to her.

Y/n

Thank you. That means a lot.

Bob!

Of course. I wish I would’ve had someone telling me that when I was experiencing it.

Y/n

When were you experiencing it?

Bob!

A few years ago. But, that doesn’t matter.

Y/n

You’re always vague, bob. Give me something please? I’ve told you so much.

Bob!

There’s not much to tell, Y/n.

Y/n

You’re a server. Is that something you want to do for the rest of your life?

Bob!

I don’t know. I’m still figuring it out.

Y/n

VAGUE

Bob!

Ok, okkk!! I don’t want to be a server for the rest of my life. I think I’d like to work in Formula One. I’ve always loved racing and cars, the thrill of speed and all that. Trying to be Max Verstappen fs

Her eyes twinkle,

Y/n

Haha yeah right brotha

Y/n

That’s great tho! I think you’d be great in Formula One, Bob. I’ve heard of it but not a huge fan. It seems boring.

Bob!

Damn, shitting on my favorite thing… but thank you, Y/n. I think I’d be great too.

Y/n

You know i didn’t mean it that way!! What about your family?

Bob!

If you’re gonna ask me all these questions, should we just call?? Might be easier haha

She stares at his text for a moment, only a few seconds, before his contact name is large on her screen as his call awaits her answer. She clicks the green button and puts the phone to her ear, suddenly nervous to hear his voice for the first time.

“Y/n?” His deep, husky tone fills her ears and the truth of his identity begins to genuinely reign true. His voice is none of some old, slimy man. She could see it fitting someone younger, handsome even. Part of her even wants to say he sounds familiar.

She breathes, “Bob?”

There’s a silence that passes between them, a line crossed in the random relationship they’d surprisingly developed. Rustling sounds from Bob’s end, sheets moving before Y/n adds to the commotion, her heels falling to the floor once she pushes them off.

“Are you going to ask me about my family?” He asks, a hint of laughter in his voice.

Y/n giggles, “Tell me about your family, Bob.”

He lets out a small noise of confirmation, “Well, I have two sisters and a brother. A mom and dad. Still married. I don’t know, what do you want to know?”

The two laugh together at his sudden loss of words before Y/n speaks, “Uh, tell me about your parents. Any crazy love stories in the family?”

“No, they got together relatively normal. They’ve been together since they were younger and they’re still in love to this day. They set up a great example for me.”

Y/n rises from her couch, putting Bob on speaker, and moving into her bedroom to get ready for the end of the night. His voice echoes off the walls of the glistening white walls of her bathroom as she asks him more questions about his siblings and relatives. The way he speaks so highly of them makes the pull to him she feels stronger. Something about him seems too good to be true, but she wouldn’t say that out loud. She believes too much in the power of a jinx.

Bob somehow changes the conversation to her, asking her further about her job and her worries. It’s scary how easy it feels to open up to him, things she had a hard time even telling Annie. Maybe it’s the anonymity of him, the elusiveness of the man she truly doesn’t know. However, none of that matters wholly as she lays in bed, eyes trained on the fan above going in circles as she talks about insecurities she’s had since she was a kid.

“It’s hard to know what traits you truly hold, you know? I can be the sweetest to one person, but horribly mean to another. I don’t want people to think I’m armed with ill intent. Sometimes things just don’t come out the way I want.” She whispers, arms sitting heavy over her stomach.

Bob sighs, “It’s scary how much we share in common. I’ve felt that way too many times before. You can never be too careful with your words and it just hits so hard when people don’t understand who you truly are at your core. If they did, they wouldn’t think I was saying something with malice.”

She smiles to herself. It’s as if he lives in her head. “I don’t think you’d mean anything malicious, Bob.”

He chuckles, “I don’t think you’d mean anything malicious either, Y/n.”

The quietness of her name on his lips brings her closer to sleep and it’s the way he begins to ramble about how much he loves to talk to her that sends her over the edge, a warmness accompanying her body to sleep.

Bob keeps talking for a few minutes before her silence is deafening and he realizes what’s happened. Still, he talks, traumas and all, because something about knowing she’s there makes him not want to hang up.

🏎️

“So, you’ve been talking to this guy for how long?” Annie questions, her eyebrows pulled together just as they always have while she stares bewilderedly at Y/n.

“Three weeks,” She replies, a message from Bob appearing on her screen just as they utter his name.

Annie stares at her, “And you don’t know what he looks like?”

Y/n shakes her head lightly, “No…”

Annie scoffs, “Y/n! That’s so stupid! He could be stalking you for all we know!”

“No! He’s not stalking me, Annie. I think I know him now, really. In the beginning, no, but we call all the time and we talk about anything and everything. He’s sweet and he’s everything I’ve ever been looking for in a guy.” Y/n is quick to defend, her phone in her hands as Bob calls her.

Annie glances down to the ringing phone, “Is that him?”

Her challenging look makes Y/n nod slowly. Annie lurches forward and Y/n yelps just as her best friend yanks the phone out of her hands and answers the call.

“ANNIE!” Y/n yells, grasping for the phone while Annie just moves away.

Bob’s voice meets Annie’s ears, “Y/n?”

“This is Annie, Y/n’s best friend. I’d like to know your address and full name, seeing as my beloved friend has not gotten that information yet.” She demands, eyes glancing toward Y/n as she awaits the man’s answer.

Bob stutters, “Uh, my name is Robert Dancing. I live in Monaco.”

Annie shakes her head, “No, I’m talking address. Like, 12345 Hemingway Street.”

Bob laughs, “Can I just talk to Y/n?” There’s a hint of anxiousness in his voice that sends Annie into a manic spiral.

“No, tell me where you live.” She fires back.

“Annie!” Y/n tries again, grabbing onto Annie’s sweatshirt to pull her closer. When she’s within reach, Y/n reaches for the phone and snatches it back, much to Annie’s dismay.

Y/n apologizes, “Bob, I’m so sorry. Annie’s a little insane.”

He laughs and it lingers around her heart, “It’s okay. Just call me later, yeah?”

She nods and murmurs confirmation before hanging up. She turns to look at her best friend, a rare moment of betrayal. “Why would you do that?” She asks, annoyance radiating off of her.

Annie crosses her arms, “Because, Y/n! You don’t know this man.”

Y/n groans, “Yes, I do! Also, getting to know him by demanding his address seems satisfactory to you?”

“You’re being stupid, Y/n! I’m just looking out for you!” She raises her voice, anger getting in the way of truly getting her point across.

Y/n shakes her head, “Looking out for me would be trusting me when I ask that of you! You just completely went against everything I asked of you! I asked for support, not outraged behavior!”

Annie’s face drops, “You don’t get it! Y/n, you do not know this man! You didn’t even know his last name until I asked for you yet you’ve apparently told him all of your secrets?!”

Y/n begins to pack her purse in a moment of fury, “No, Annie, you don’t get it!”

As she stands at the cusp of the front door, Annie yells back at her, “Stop falling in love with someone you can’t trust!”

Y/n closes the door shut, a huff coming from her lips as she storms down the stairs, tears down her face. To have her best friend question her judgment regarding someone who means so much to her hurts immensely. Though, what hurts worse is knowing she might be right.

—

Max almost looks perplexed when Lando hangs up the phone.

“Robert Dancing? What the hell kind of name is that?” He teases, a patronizing tone.

Lando shakes his head, “I didn’t know what else to say! Dancing was the first thing that came to my head!”

Max crosses his arms over his chest, “Are you ever planning on telling this woman who you really are?”

Lando’s mouth opens and falls closed, at a loss for words, “I don’t know. I want to, but I know she’ll run. I don’t blame her. I’ve lied about fundamental things.” There’s a crease in his forehead as he continues, “I can’t lose her. I’m too addicted to the way she makes me feel.”

Max sighs, “I hate to say it, but you might, Lan. You told her you were a completely different person, betrayed her trust in an insane way. You’ve got something special, that counts for something, but you need to be prepared for the possibility of her never being able to find it in herself to forgive you. I don’t want you to get your hopes up and get hurt.”

“I won’t. I know the risks of what I’ve done, but I can’t take it back now. I just need to find the time to tell her. I will tell her and I’ll do it in a coherent, calm way.” He tries, but the two of them know he’s already gotten his hopes up. Max looks at him with faux confidence, knowing Lando’s found himself with someone it’ll cut deep to let go of.

Lando knows it too, knows the kind of pain that’ll shred through him if she leaves because of his mistake. It’s ironic in the way that a lie, one so unnecessary, is the thing that plagues his mind at night even as Y/n’s voice puts him to sleep.

🏎️

There’s a nagging in Y/n’s brain that pushes her to get out from under the covers of her bed and find her desk in the dark of the night. She sits in the chair with a creak before opening her laptop and the random browser she’s had tabs open in for days on end.

Her fingers however over the keys before typing in a dreaded question of truth.

“Robert Dancing.” She whispers as she presses enter and the screen begins to load. Her stomach churns and her eyes whip away, too scared to look. What would she do if nothing came up? What if Annie was right? What if Bob wasn’t who she thought he was after all?

But, then, his voice calls her back to the safety of her blind trust as it rings throughout her brain. He seems too nice to be what Annie had thought him to be. Bob is who she thinks he is, he has to be.

Her gaze takes one more look at the picture of her and Annie on her nightstand before she turns her head fully to find out her fate.

A blank screen with the haunting words, “Sorry, we couldn’t find what you were looking for.” stares back at her. For a moment, she thinks she must’ve spelled his name wrong and she tries multiple, very clearly wrong, versions of what his name could be in an attempt to console the last of hope dwindling out of her body.

Bob. A name in her mouth that now means nothing takes on what she had originally thought it had been. A fake name.

This can’t be, she thinks. There has to be some logical explanation. But, then again, Robert Dancing is not a typical name, something should come up for a server who lives in Monaco. A link to his social media would’ve shown. He’s young and living in Europe, there would be a trace of him.

Robert Dancing does not exist.

🏎️

Unknown

Y/n, you never called me back. Is everything okay?

Y/n

Everything is fine.

Unknown

Can I call you now?

Y/n

I’m busy.

Unknown

It’s been three days and I haven’t heard from you at all. Seriously, are you okay?

Unknown

Y/n, answer me. What’s going on?

Y/n

Stop messaging me.

Her body jolts in surprise when her phone rings aggressively against the desk at her work. She looks around sheepishly at her staring coworkers before grabbing the loud device and walking outside. The moment the door shuts behind her, she answers.

Bob speaks so quickly, “Y/n, what’s going on?”

She stares at the skyline, trying to find peace in the view, “What’s your name?”

Bob is quiet, “Robert Dancing. You know this.”

“No, I don’t. What’s your name?” She tries again, anger in her voice and sadness deep in her soul.

“Bob.” He states, breaking her heart once more.

Y/n scoffs, “I know that’s not your name. If you don’t start telling me the truth right now, I will hang up and block you.”

A door closes on his side and she hears him take a breath, “Okay, okay. Don’t do that. How’d you find out?”

A dry laugh leaves her mouth, mixed with astonishment, “Do you think I’m stupid?! You gave me what was supposed to be your full name, so I searched you up. Choose a name that actually comes up next time, yeah?”

“Y/n, I’m so sorry. You told me you would never think I meant malice by my actions. That should apply here.” He tries, but she just shakes her head.

“That was back when I thought I knew at least your name. Who ever are you? Do you even live in Monaco? Was any of it true?” She cries, somewhat surprised at the tears that have appeared.

He sounds disappointed, “Yes, it all was. I do live in Monaco and I have three other siblings. My parents are still married. All the things I told you were true, my doubts and insecurities. That wasn’t fake, Y/n.”

She pulls herself together, not ready to break down for a man so cruel, and wipes her tears, “What’s your name?”

“Y/n, I-”

She interrupts, determined, “What’s your name?”

A build up manifests from the silence he lets go on before he answers her dying question, “Lando Norris.”

Part of her was expecting him to say a name she would’ve recognized, but no part of her has any reaction to him. His name is just another one she wished to have been able to connect to another human being.

He takes her silence for realization and his body slumps against the wall behind him. Part of him knows she won’t, but another part worries she’ll take their situation and everything he’s told her to the press.

What she says next completely contradicts everything he built up in his head, “You act like that’s supposed to mean anything to me.”

With that, she hangs up the phone.

—

Annie and Y/n haven’t spoken since their fight a week ago, but the betrayal of it is pushed aside when Annie opens the door to find Y/n crying at her door.

No words are shared, Annie understands, and Y/n is ushered into the home, coaxed by her best friend to sit on the couch.

“What happened?” She whispers, her hand rubbing over Y/n’s back. Annie hates to see her best friend in such brokenness, even in a moment where she could tell her I told you so. That would do no one good, Annie knows that. Y/n doesn’t need to be proven wrong right now, she needs someone to sit with her when no one else seemingly won’t.

A sharp intake of breath and Y/n speaks, “He wasn’t who he said he was. Robert Dancing doesn’t exist. His actual name is Lando Norris. As if that means anything. Why would he lie?”

Annie cocks her head because it doesn’t make sense. Why would he lie? Lying about your life to make it seem more interesting than it was would make sense, but to blatantly lie completely about your identity? That didn’t make sense.

“Have you searched him up? Maybe it’s supposed to mean something?” She tries, genuinely lost at the situation.

Y/n shakes her head, tears falling to her lap as she hangs her head, “If I do and I see him, I don’t want to know. I already like him too much and that makes this hurt more than it should. If I see him, learn who he truly is, I’m scared I’ll never be able to let him go.”

Annie frowns, part of her wants to know about the man that put her friend in such a state. But, it’s not what Y/n needs as she cries on the beige couch. Her head fits in the crook of Annie’s shoulder as the girl turns on mindless TV for her friend.

Still, though, Annie knew she would find herself investigating Lando Norris later when Y/n fell asleep.

—

It’s ironic how similar Y/n and Annie look when they scour the internet for information about a specific man. Annie has a bit of blanket pulled over her lap as Y/n hogs the majority of it, the rise and fall of her chest a telltale sign of needed slumber.

The face of Lando Norris stares back at her as she tries to think of this man calling her best friend at night, asking questions no one has before. He seemed bubbly in the few moments she spoke to him and when she clicks on a video of him in an interview, she knows immediately it's him. His voice is distinct as it speaks through a clear microphone. There were no lies in his second confession to Y/n.

From what she can tell, he’s a beloved member of the Formula One community, a sport she had never truly looked into because she assumed it was overrated. So, did Y/n. The off chance that Lando texted a random person and found something more with them, he lucked out that that someone was clueless when it came to the sport that made him famous.

Her breathing stops when she finds a video that titles Lando’s supposed telling of a woman he’s taken a liking to. The date of the video tells her it’s within the time frame of him and Y/n.

She glances at her sleeping best friend before clicking the link, his smiling face large on her screen.

Lando’s giggle is sweet, “Yeah, I guess you could say I’ve found someone. Or, at least, have a crush. This girl and I are definitely not official, but there’s something there, I think we can both feel it. I’ve never felt so free with someone.”

The reporter, out of view from the watcher, coos, “That’s great, Lando! What’s her name?”

Lando gives the man a warning glance as he states authoritatively, “I won’t be handing that information right now.”

He clutches the microphone and Annie can see the way his body shifts with protectiveness. If anything, this is exactly the kind of way she had always wanted Y/n to be treated. Protected and cherished. From what she could gather, from the deepdive of articles and the stories Y/n had told, Lando did just that.

Her heart aches. A stupid man tried to protect himself whilst falling in love with a woman that never even knew who he was. They were never even given a chance.

Somehow, in a black out of pure sadness for Y/n who had always yearned to be adored in this way, Annie found herself buying a ticket to the next Grand Prix, Silverstone of all places.

With a crappy seat and no plan or guarantee of finding him, Annie knew she had to find Lando. She had to fight for something that wasn’t even hers.

🏎️

The commotion of fans surrounding the entrance to the paddock puts Annie on edge, not to mention the size of the crowd. She thought she got here early, wanting to be at the front so she could try and talk to him, but as she sees the large amount of people between her and the path where the drivers walk, hope diminishes. Still, she pushes through everyone, apologizing when she gets dirty looks. She knows how bad this looks, how much this most likely goes against common courtesy at races such as these. The face of Y/n with bloodshot eyes and a puffy face forces her to persevere, her best friend deserves someone like Lando.

She’s halfway through the crowd when it roars to life, screams emitting as people begin to stick McLaren hats and posters in the air. From the sliver of light she can see through some bodies, Annie watches Lando begin to walk through. He stops to sign for some fans and she pushes more forcefully, knowing this is her only chance.

He moves through it all with grace, but a certain speed that makes her heart pick up. He’s at the front of the crowd, about to step into the paddock and be lost completely to her when she yells, “Lando! It’s Annie!”

It’s the first thing that she can think of, hoping he’ll be reminded of Y/n’s voice when she tried to cover for her best friend’s moment of protection. Annie watches him pause, turn around slowly, as his eyes roam over the sea of people. He locks eyes with her as she waves her arms in the air, something passes between them and he begins running toward her. A connection to the woman he let down, one he hadn’t stopped thinking of in the weeks she had left him.

When he reaches her, Lando is stunned by her presence. “You’re Annie? Like Y/n’s Annie?” He whispers, the people around her screaming for his signature as she nods her head.

“Y/n’s Annie.” He looks to be fighting tears as he ushers a security guard over. “I need you to escort her into the paddock, to my driver’s room.”

The large man nods and Lando walks off, nodding at Annie gratefully. Once he’s gone from the premises, the guard moves the rope keeping people from bombarding the drivers up and lets her through.

The walk to wherever Lando had ordered is quiet as Annie takes in the money that surrounds her. People with Cartier jewelry and Birkens waltz around with an air to them that allows Annie to suddenly understand Lando. This is what he was afraid of. A greedy woman who would take advantage of the status he had and lie to him to get to his money and the money around him. While she understood, however, she still felt angry at his deceiving. Y/n was never given the benefit of the doubt.

The guard knocks on Lando’s door and it swings open, his sunken face coming into view and in the new light, Annie can see the love that Lando had found in her best friend. The effect of her leaving him is seen all over his body and from what she could gather during her time looking into him, he wasn’t doing as well as he usually had during races.

He motions for her to come in and when she does, the door closed, he begins talking, “Did Y/n send you here? Is she here? Can I talk to her? Does she want to see me? Is she forgiving me? Are you-”

Her heart breaks as she interrupts him and his quick anticipation of a reconciliation is crushed, “None of that is true. I’m here on my own terms. Y/n doesn’t know I’m here. At this point in time, she doesn’t want to see you, but I think that’s the shock of finding out about you.. That will wear off eventually. She’s hurt, Lando, but I also know she hates not talking to you. She hasn’t stopped talking about you. And I can’t stand to know that you two found something she’s always deserved, but let it slip away because of fears and betrayals.”

He sits opposite of her, staring at her and trying to find the answers he wants to hear in her eyes. He never does.

Lando rubs his palms over his eyes, “I never even got her last name. There was no way for me to find her.”

“Y/n Y/l/n.”

He lifts his head slowly, “What?”

At the look in his eyes, Annie smiles, “Y/n Y/l/n. That’s her last name. Actually, her full name, I guess.”

A small grin finds its way to Lando’s face and the way he touches his mouth lightly makes her think he hasn’t smiled in a while. “Y/n Y/l/n,” He whispers, smile widening as it all falls from his lips.

He’s even in love with her name, Annie thinks.

“Can you take me to her? I would like to be given the opportunity to fight for her.” He asks hesitantly, as if Annie hasn’t made it abundantly clear that she is here to help.

She nods, “I will tell you where to meet her, but first, I need you to tell me everything from the beginning, from your perspective.”

Lando’s head hangs and he begins, hands wringing together in his lap, “When I first texted her, I thought she was my friend, Daniel.”

“Daniel Ricciardo?” She asks, clarification needed for this story.

Lando’s eyebrows rise, “You know the sport?”

She shakes her head, “No, both Y/n and I never got into it because we didn’t think it was that exciting - sorry - but, I basically learned everything about your life and Formula One when Y/n told me your name.”

He nods and continues, “Well, yes, I thought she was Daniel Ricciardo, we were supposed to be meeting for lunch that day to just catch up before starting the new season. Well, as it turns out, he had changed his phone number over break because it leaked and never told anyone that he wasn’t needing to contact immediately during that time. I assume Y/n must’ve gotten a new number around the time because she got his.”

Annie thinks back before realizing Y/n had shattered her phone in the weeks before and ended up getting an entire new cell phone profile. New number, email, everything. She had said she liked the clean slate.

At her nodding, Lando talks once more, “When she sent me the picture of her, I immediately thought she was one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen in my entire life. That’s cliche, but it’s true. She’s still so beautiful to me. Um,” He shakes his head, tears having pooled in his eyes at the mention of her beauty, “I knew I wanted to keep talking to her, see where it went because I couldn’t just stop talking to her and never knew what could’ve been. So, I made a quick, impulsive decision. I lied about who I was because I just wanted her to treat me normally. I had no idea who she was or her morals, I couldn’t guarantee that she would treat me like everyone else. Obviously, when I learned of who she was and the deep parts of her that no one else got to see, I wanted to change it all. I wanted to tell her so many times who I was and what I wanted with her, what I saw with her, but I knew if I did, I would just lose her. So, I tried to find ways to keep talking to her, but also slowly introduce the truth. Clearly, I never found a way. When you called me, demanding my address and full name I panicked and didn’t think about what would happen if I said what was supposed to be my full name. You’re very scary, you know.” He chuckles, Annie does with him, “So, it all fell from there. She found out Robert Dancing was something entirely fabricated and she called me, telling me to tell her the truth. I was backed into a corner and everything I wanted, I needed, left me. That moment is ingrained in my brain.”

He breathes slowly, his eyes still on his hands, before whispering, “I miss her.”

Annie nods, “I know. So does she. That’s why you need to go to this address,” She hands him a small paper, “Meet her there on Monday at 7 PM, come prepared to tell her all of that and more.”

He clutches the paper like it’s his last lifeline and Annie smiles at how important Y/n is to him.

Lando glances up at her, “What do you mean by more?”

Annie continues to smile lightly, “That you love her. That you need her. That you’re sorry. Lando, remind her of what you two had.”

🏎️

The small apartment complex is daunting to Lando as he stands in front of it. Annie never told him where he was going or what he would be met with, but considering he’s here to see Y/n, he can only assume the building he stares at is her home. His anxiety only spikes. He does not want to mess up again. He doesn’t want to taint her home with even more pain, he thinks to himself, images of himself groveling and begging for her forgiveness flashing in his mind’s eye.

Nonetheless, he knows if he backs out, Annie would find his address this time and physically harm him.

So, the boy walks to the gate and rings her neighbor, following Annie’s instructions closely. He remembered how she told him if he rang Y/n, she wouldn’t let him in, being stubborn and all. Though, if he rang the neighbor, an older woman Annie called Lo, he had a chance.

“Hello? I’m here to see Y/n.” He said into the rusty speaker, a questionable smell infiltrating his nose.

A crackling sound emits from it before Lo is speaking back to him, “Are you Robert Dancing? Annie told me you would be coming.”

Lando laughs at the name, his random ideas being the reason for it, and murmurs a yes to her. She doesn’t say anything back, just a loud buzzing noise that tells him the door is unlocked.

When he walks through, part of him groans at the lack of an elevator. For an athlete, the man is lazy.

Thus, he begins his scale to the top floor, cursing himself for falling in love with someone who lives so high up.

He’s almost completely lost to his thoughts that he doesn’t realize Y/n’s door stands in his way once his feet hit the doormat. It dawns on him the time has come to meet her in person, having never before. It should be studied, he thinks, how he’s fallen in love with her without ever truly seeing her.

He knocks on the door, not wasting time before he truly aborts whatever mission he’s found himself on. And his heart soars when he hears her yell, “Coming!”

He’s only ever heard it over the phone. To hear it feet away from him is almost as exciting as the idea of her forgiving him.

The door unlocks and pulls open, revealing Y/n in a matching set of pajamas that he remembers her texting him about, asking if they were a stupid purchase or not. He told her to get them, she told him probably not, that she was poor, but she still had.

Her eyes land on him and he’s ready for whatever screaming he’s about to endure, but she just smiles at him.

“Hi! Can I help you with anything?” She acts as if she doesn’t recognize him and Lando realizes she doesn’t. Annie had mentioned something about Y/n becoming disinterested in seeing who he truly was, out of fear of becoming too attached. His mind must’ve not genuinely absorbed that information because he only understands it now.

She doesn’t know who he is.

He could do the same thing he had before, lie and tell her he’s someone else. Take the safer option and secure her love, but he takes a breath instead and remembers all Annie had told him. He’d already put her through so much, to do it again would be cruel.

“Y/n, I’m Lando.” He says while he watches her face fall.

Her hands fly to the door, about to slam it on his face, but he sticks his foot in right before she can. The impact hurts, but he continues with what he had practiced so many times on the way here.

“Please, Y/n, just hear me out.” He pleads as her cheeks fill with red. He’s almost sure it isn’t a blush.

“How’d you even get my address?” She says, astonished at who stands before her. Her eyes fall over his body, trying to understand the information. Who he is, what he wants.

“Annie.” He whispers, knowing her confusion will only heighten more.

Her mouth falls open and she yells, “ANNIE?!”

What he believes to be Lo, pops out from her behind her door at the yelling and Lando lowers his head.

“Can I come in? We shouldn’t have this conversation in the hallway of your complex.” He rubs a hand over the back of his neck, hoping she’ll agree. When she does, opening the door for him slowly, he flies forward. While he was ecstatic to be given another chance, he still fears for his image and what would be speculated about a seemingly heated conversation between him and another woman.

She guides him to the couch and they sit down. A familiar creak sounds that reminds him of the ones he would hear when they got into deep conversation during their nighttime calls. The image of her on the phone with him, concentration on her face as she listened to whatever he was revealing and getting comfortable on her sofa, makes him smile softly.

“Bo- I mean, Lando, you need to start talking. I don’t have all the time in the world to listen.” She gives, her tone ice cold. However, the break in it when she realizes she’s said his former, fake name makes the anger he felt over his lies further. He wants her to say his name, the real one. He wants her to say it with love and excitement, not distance. He wants her and his name on her lips.

“I never meant to hurt you. Actually, what I did was in an attempt to shield myself from any kind of bad faith. I didn’t expect to develop what he did. I didn’t even expect to open up to you in the way I did. I thought I could make a friend, one who didn’t know who I was and didn’t have any kind of bias toward me. I’ve always wanted that with someone, especially a partner. I saw an opportunity and I took it, not thinking through it all and I hurt you in the process. I’m so sorry, Y/n. From the moment we started truly talking, calling and all, I knew I had messed up, but I never found a way to tell you. Well, a way to tell you that wouldn’t result in you getting rid of me. I wish I could take it all back, but not you. Not what I got to experience with you, what I felt with you. You’re my favorite memory and you’ll never understand how grateful I am for you. You helped me through bad races even when you didn’t know, helped me through weird press interactions when you didn’t know. I loved that. I loved how at peace you made me feel. I can’t let this go without knowing I gave it everything I have and when Annie showed up at Silverstone, telling me I had to fight for you, I took whatever she had to give.”

Y/n stares at him, trying to digest it all, and murmurs, “Annie went to Silverstone?”

He chuckles lightly, “Yes, she came and she told me who she was, what she was doing there. She told me she knew what we had and she didn’t want you to lose something you’ve always deserved. She gave me this address and told me to come here at this time, told me to buzz Lo instead of you so I could come in. She told me I needed to remind you of what we had.”

Y/n goes red again, blushing this time. She smiles at the idea of Annie going to great lengths just to make her happy, “Annie sounds determined.”

Lando smiles along with her, “She was. She told me if I didn’t fight for you, she’d find me and kill me. She’s really scary, Y/n.”

Their eyes meet and Y/n is reminded of what once was, the way he made her feel. She misses him and knowing the intricate shade of brown in his eyes doesn’t help how much she wants to shut him out.

“I understand why you did what you did, but that doesn’t make it any better. You could’ve given up everything you were saying at any point in time and you didn’t. You only told me when I confronted you with it.” She whispers, disappointment evident in her voice. She plays with her fingers and Lando is close to taking them in his hand.

He nods, “I get that. But, I was scared to tell you because I was just so in love with you. I still am.”

Her eyes snap to his and a moment passes before she asks, “Still am? You love me?”

His cheeks turn cherry tomato, “Yes, of course, I am. The moment I realized you were safe enough to open up to, knowing my identity or not, I was in love with you.”

She groans and lets her face fall to her palms, “But, I’m in love with you too.”

He laughs and shakes his head, “Why is that a bad thing?”

Her eyes peek from over her hands, “Because I want to hate you.”

Finally, his fingers lace with hers as he brings them away from her face, “But, you love me. Isn’t that enough?”

She knows it is. He knows it is. Annie knows it is, even if she isn’t there. It’s a matter of if Y/n can put aside the grand web of lies he put together to let them have their shot at something that could be wonderful. In the warmth of his presence, she thinks she can.

🏎️

Y/n

Can you stop blowing up my phone

Bob <3

Why????? I’m bored baby

Y/n

im at work girly

Bob <3

girly 🤭🫶🏻🤗 plz go out to the balcony and answer me

Y/n

I think you might be obsessed with me

Bob <3

i made an alter ego so i could talk to you didn’t i?

Y/n

girl

She picks up his call as she closes the door behind her, the new office building she’s in allowing for a wider view of London. The new team she works with is less competitive than the last and their support is proving beneficial with the news she got today.

“My beloved girlfriend, are you free for lunch today?” Lando giggles into the speaker like the lovesick man he is. Y/n can hear Oscar make fun of him in the background.

She smiles, “I thought you were bored?”

“Yes, so now I’m asking if you want to have lunch with me” He answers as if it’s obvious. In the months after the soft moment shared between Lando and Y/n on her old couch, they’ve found something more than love between them. Lando says it’s destiny and Y/n says it’s a soulmate tie, but they agree that the love they once shared over the phone only grew once in person.

Y/n chuckles at his antics, “Sure, I will have lunch with you, Lan. Can you come pick me up though? I don’t want to drive.”

Lando makes a noise, “What did you think I was going to do? Make you drive yourself? No way. There’s one person in this relationship that drives cars professionally and it’s not you, sweetheart. Sorry to break it to you.”

Oliver, her coworker, comes to the door, asking for her assistance on something with a smile. She tells him she’ll be a minute and he nods, retreating back into the office quietly, “Sorry, my love. I need to go. But, you’ll be here when?”

Lando hums, “An hour?”

“Perfect! Oh, and, Lando?” She asks, her voice filled with joy as he responds, “You’ll have to come to the Junior VP’s office to pick me up.”

Silence is met with her sentence before Lando whispers, “Either I’m stupid and you have some big project I forgot about or you’re trying to tell me something that will actually make me lose my mind and sanity right now.”

She laughs loudly, “I got Junior VP, Lan. Youngest one yet.”

He shrieks, momentarily making Y/n go deaf, before screaming to everyone around him about his girlfriend’s achievement, “I’m so proud of you, baby! Oh my god! I’m so happy! We need to buy champagne! You can have your own podium moment! Holy shit, I’m so proud!”

“I would love that, Lan. Thank you. I love you.” She whispers the last part softly, three words that mean so much.

He’ll never get tired of hearing her speak of her love for him, “I love you too, Y/n.”

She’d never get tired of saying it.

[mysticficti0n]

hiyaaa I love the Colby fic and I was wondering if you could do a short one of like y/n gong through a break up but she doesn't tell him or sam (and could Kat be in it- they're all roomates sorta thing) and she doesn't rlly come out her room and they get worried until Colby goes up and she breaks and he comforts her- like fluffy stuff plz

omg yes this sounds so cutie so ofcc!!! I don't know if its great as I'm very tired but I hope you guys enjoy, It feels good to be writing for someone new but I do still love Tokio Hotel !! I did a very quick proof read but if I missed anything sorry !!

Broken Heart

･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

warnings- ColbyBrockxFem/Reader, swearing, fluff, comfort, best friends, care, reader is cheated on

words- 1.7k

Y/n's POV

"I don't understand why you're so angry Y/n?" Justin looked to me, my eyes narrowed "she was just a fri-"

"Shut the fuck up! you keep saying she was a friend but friends don't fuck each other" I screamed- it was killing me, my boyfriend of 6 years cheating on me with his 'friend', his friend who is his phone had hearts next to her name, every message had a 'xxx' at the end, winky faces and peaches shared until one day...today, I go to his apartment 5 minuets from mine to see him in bed, his hands laying on the red-heads hips

"I-it's just a miss understanding Y/n please!" he begged but I couldn't forgive him- not for this "look let me apologise and we can re-start"

"yeah after 6 whole years? good idea Justin let me just forget everything huh?" I yelled, his eyes dropped he knew I wasn't going to take it "just leave"

"no- Y/n I can make it up to you" he pleaded again and again, hands reaching for mine but I pulled away, backing from him

"get the fuck out of my house Justin" my voice was low "go through the fucking door and don't come back- get out" I watched him give me one more look and he left, leaving me with the haunting memories of him with someone else, those 6 years down the drain. The pain settled in quicker then expected, my chest heaved up and down as I sobbed into my pillow as I stared into the images of me and him dotted around my room, the light from the day slowly faded leaving me in darkness, only figures in my room kept me company, my face ached, my whole body did, especially my head so I decided to sleep, sleep would keep me safe, sleep was quiet, sleep was calm.

Kat's POV

Me, Sam and Colby walked into the house, it was silent, no music or tv playing which was unusual if Y/n and Justin were in "think they went out or something I mean its 9- might be like their date night?" Sam spoke putting his keys onto the kitchen island

"Maybe... I'll check up stairs" I smiled quickly leaving the two to find Y/n, I got to her door and pushed it open to see her room pitch black, not any of her candles lit, or lamp on "Y/n?" I whispered and a body shifted under the covers "Y/n, you okay?" I spoke coming in a little more to her room

"fine, just tired" she hummed turning over facing away from me in the doorway

"oh okay- where's Justin?" I asked, most days he's in the house, I mean he was meant to move in with us in a few weeks

"I dunno" she answered in a yawn, I oh'ed, the mood didn't feel right but I decided to leave her in peace, I closed the door and made my way into mine and Sam's room, he was sat on the bed flicking through his phone until he saw me walk in

"she okay?" he asked

"think so- said she is and she's tired" he nodded looking back to his phone "Justin isn't here though" his gaze flicked back up to which I just nodded

"he basically lives here, why wouldn't he be here? and its a Saturday night and ever since they got together he was here every weekend" I shrugged climbing in bed next to the blonde, resting my head on him

"who knows"

The night went by, and the three of us were up in the kitchen, the clock read '12:48pm' and Y/n was still In her room, still in silence, I told Colby what I had told Sam and he seemed just as confused, we decided to order some dinner, just something small and ordered Y/n some too, I was sure something had happened but... maybe I was thinking to much into it

"foods here" Sam spoke bring it in, Colby was half way up the stairs as he said he was going to go get his hoodie from his room "Colby grab Y/n" the other called getting a thumbs up by him

Colby's POV

I jumped up the rest of the stairs going to Y/n's room first, it was weird for her not to be up, she's always awake before me at least but the house was just missing her, I knocked twice before hearing a voice murmur a small 'come in' I pushed it open and saw her body curled in her coves, curtains pulled shut, and tissues thrown onto the floor "hey- you okay?" I asked coming over to the side of the bed where it was empty. Her eyes flickered open and looked up to me

"yeah- think I'm getting Ill" she hummed, sitting herself up, I looked to her face and saw her nose was red and eyes glossy "just a cold"

"hm yeah- we've got dinner down stairs, got you a burger and fries" I spoke as I watched her, she nodded pulling her sheets away and crawling out the side she walked past me and straight to the stairs, I followed forgetting my hoodie and just went to her side, I could see her clearly now, mascara around her eyes along with dark circles, her hair wet on one side, the usual dark lipstick she wore, smudged against her cheek

"hey Y/n" Kat smiled passing her a bag of food "feeling better?"

"no don't feel it- thanks for the food but I think I'll eat up stairs- don't wanna make you guys sick" she spoke, her voice sounding gravelly and tired

"Y/n we don't care, come sit on the couch with us- we can watch a film or something- we have yours and Justins favourite, Tita-" Sam went to continue until the girl beside me face dropped

"I don't wanna sit down here" was the last thing she snapped before hurrying away and her door slammed, I looked to the others who just stood stunned...

the week carried on, time passing by as it does and still no sight of Y/n, I was getting worried she's never like this, I sat alone down stairs as Kat and Sam had gone out somewhere and the only thing that went through my mind was her, I couldn't help the fact I was thinking of her, Y/n's never in her room if someones in the house or if she is in her room- someones with her

but why is she acting off- everything was so different, I couldn't help but be nosey, it was all in good intention of course, thats what I kept telling myself as I stood ear to the door of her room just listening; her voice mumbled incoherent words, small little cries leaving her every so often, my body relaxed a little to much and I ended up falling against the door "Colby?" her voice called 'fuck' I cursed to myself before pushing her door open again "were you fucking listening through my door?" her tone was angry, a cry halting in her throat

"Look I'm sorry but I'm worried about you" I said, I didn't want to keep it from her, I was worried, scared even "you didn't even eat your food" I spoke looking to the bag still sat scrunched on her desk "what happened?"

"I'm fine Colby okay? For days people keep fucking asking me if I'm okay and I fucking am" she ragged the sheet over her "just get the fuck out"

"Y/n you're not fucking fine- I've known you long enough to know this isn't how you act all the time" I didn't mean for my voice to raise at her but I was annoyed but not with her, she was going through something and didn't want to admit it "what happened" I said, my voice stern. The covers flipped from her body, her eyes welled with tears, face wet

"He fucking cheated on me- There better? you know now, my boyfriend of 6 years cheated on me because I'm not good enough for him and I can't think straight, I feel sick all the goddamn time and all I have every hour is 'you okay Y/n?' No I'm fucking not" her voice broke, the sobs that once heaved in her chest being released

"I'm sorry" I spoke, coming next to her bed, she looked up to me and her face snapped, pearls of tears slipping down her cheeks

"Why wasn't I good enough, Colbs?" she whispered, her voice choked with sorrow, her head buried in her hands. I couldn't bear to see her in such pain. Without thinking, my arms enveloped her fragile frame, pulling her close to my chest as I settled on the edge of her mattress.

"You're more than good enough, Y/n – I promise you that," I reassured her, my voice a soothing balm against the storm of emotions raging within her. Y/n's face found refuge in the curve of my neck, and I could feel the warmth of her tears seeping into my skin. It broke my heart to witness her suffering. "Did he do anything to hurt you?" I asked gently, my concern deepening as I held her tighter. She shook her head, her breath hitching between sobs.

"He... he just said she was a friend, but then I walked in on them having sex at his apartment," she confessed, the pain evident in every word. My fingers traced gentle patterns along her back, offering what little comfort I could. "I just don't understand why," she continued, her eyes red and swollen from the tears. I nodded, listening intently as she poured her heart out.

"He's just stupid, Y/n. You're nothing but perfect," I whispered, my hand tenderly cupping her jaw, guiding her to look into my eyes. "He's the one who's made the biggest mistake of his life by letting someone as amazing as you slip away."

She nodded, her tear-stained eyes reflecting a mix of vulnerability and gratitude. In that moment, as I held her close, I vowed to be her pillar of support – a reminder that despite the pain, she was deserving of love and happiness. Together, we would navigate through the shadows, and I would do everything in my power to mend the shattered pieces of her heart.

"thanks Colby" Y/n smiled, hugging herself back into my chest

[mylovelies-docx]

Sorry, I Love You - Prologue

We did it! We did it! We did it! Yay!

Since you guys are awesome and helped me reach 100 followers, here is the prologue to my new Bucky x Reader fic Sorry, I Love You inspired by the Stray Kids song of the same title (also, stream 5-Star on your favorite music app!)

This is a friends-with-benefits - to - strangers - to - something that I haven't written yet. I've got 5 chapters completed and no idea where the story will take me. I'll add tags as we go!

Plot: You and Bucky have a good thing going - best of friends that also have more than a little chemistry between the sheets. Everything is fine until you develop feelings for the man who doesn't want a relationship. What will happen when Bucky finds out?

C/W: Friends with Benefits, angst, unrequited feelings, Natasha being a Good Friend. This is just the Prologue, so a lot more to come!

Word Count: 700

Let's go!

You hide your feelings as deep as you can, but they bubble over. You can’t help but stare dreamily when his face morphs in happiness as his eyes squint when he laughs with the guys over a pint of Asgardian liquor. 

You know your face says everything you won’t. When you meet Natasha’s gaze from across the table as Bucky throws his head back in an exaggerated groan at something Sam said, you immediately straighten your spine and wipe all traces of love sickness from your face. She softens her brows and gives you a pitying look you can’t stand.

You stand from where you’re sitting, disturbing the group’s conversation going on around you while you’re distracted by the highlights and shadows of Bucky’s mouth. His bright blue eyes meet yours, slightly fuzzy from the amount of Asgardian liquor flowing through his system, and he smiles at you from one side of his mouth.

“Where ya’ goin’, sweetheart?” Bucky basically yells from three seats away. “The party ain’t over yet!”

You laugh and drain what’s left of your drink before slamming it down and taking a small step backwards. You scrunch your face up and shake your head at the burn.

“It is for me, Barnes. You guys know it’s way past my bedtime.”

Everyone either laughs at your self-deprecating statement or starts complaining about you being lame. You smile brightly as you tell everyone good night and make your way out of the room. You immediately know you're not alone in leaving the table when you hear more exaggerated complaining from the group following someone else’s goodbye.

“Hey!”

Nat’s voice reaches your ears just as she grabs your arm and walks beside you. You both make your way towards the residential quarters where you and Nat share the same floor. The walk is quiet. Neither of you speak all the way to the elevator and the entire ride up. The hand she grabbed you with has looped through your elbow and pulled you close. You both lean back against the shiny surface of the carriage wall, listening to the soft AC/DC coming from the speakers. Freaking Tony Stark, you think to yourself, hiding a small, fond smile.

Nat breaks the silence as the ring of the bell ushers the opening of the elevator doors. Her arm tightens around your own, pulling you closer into her side.

“Are you good to go on the mission with Barnes later this year?” Although Nat asks the question bluntly, her tone of voice is gentle.

You snort and turn to look at her with a confused look on your face.

“Yeah?” you respond. You know that she knows that you know why she needs to ask the question, but you refuse to admit anything out loud.

“It’s just,” Natasha sighs and drops your arm, turning to face you, “this is a close quarters kind of mission – I don’t want you doing something stupid.”

“Wow, Nat.” You huff and cross your arms protectively in front of your chest, continuing down the hallway at the slow pace you’d set. “Tell me how you really feel.”

She closes her eyes and waves a hand in front of her face, acting like she’s batting her last words out of the air.

“Not stupid,” she clarifies, “I meant I don’t want your feelings for Barnes to make you think there’s something there when there really isn't.” Nat gives you a reproachful look when you start to deny it. “I know this is something you and he talk about sometimes, where he says he’s not looking for a relationship. But, hon, you’re always looking at him like you want one.”

You stare straight ahead to avoid her gaze, worrying your lips with the blunt edges of your teeth. A jittery, painful feeling fills you at the mere thought of whatever it is you have with Bucky ending like you know it will. This ‘relationship’ that isn't really a relationship.

“I don’t mean to,” you whisper pitifully.  

“I know,” she soothes, removing your lip from your teeth with her thumb and using the other hand to rub your arm. “It’s just a crush – it’ll go away.”

You both hear the doubt in her words.

PART 1

[sosa2imagines]

I had my dance and now I'm where I belong. Part 2

----------------------------------------------------- Warnings- Angst, cheating and little bit of fluff ----------------------------------------------------- Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 -----------------------------------------------------

After you left the tower, you checked into a hotel and once you enter the room you called Nat who along with Wanda and Sam were waiting for your call. When you were done with the call loneliness crept in slowly you started to freak out and the emotions you were hiding since the confrontation till now all came out, you dropped to the floor and cried your heart out. After a week you got the news the happy couple made it official how one cheater got another cheater you told your reflection in the mirror smiling for a bit then crying again. It was true what you told yourself Bucky does not know that Sharon had cheated on Steve and that's the reason he broke up with her and you had promised him not to tell anyone. All of your dreams crushed and thrown out the widow because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. Every single day was painful the hurt was too much years of love gone just like that.

One month later. "Hello?" "Friday where is everyone?" "Captain Rogers welcome back Mr. Barnes is in his room and the others are in the common room" "Thank you Friday" Steve was nervous he knew everyone would bombard him with questions on his decision to leave and come back again but at the moment it all can wait he needed to see his love his best friend you first he wanted to tell you everything even the dance he had. So he rushed to Bucky's room knowing you would be there but god he was so wrong he wished he had knocked on the door but he didn't and because of that he was dumbfounded by the view "Bucky? Sharon? what's going what the hell why are you guys Sharon for god sake put your shirt on" Sharon roll her eyes. "Where is Y/n?, Bucky tell me dammit" Bucky was scared of what Steve's reaction would be so he went with the little white lie "We broke up I'm with Sharon now" "What? Broke up? why? you guys were so good, why did you guys break up? And Sharon no Buck you are hiding something" "Steve you have no rights to interfere in our lives they broke up deal with it" Sharon was quick to answer. "I'm not talking to you so shut up!" Steve yelled. "Don't yell Steve, she is right you left us ok you don't know what happened so accept this." Steve was shocked by Bucky's behavior he had never seen Bucky standing up for you like he was for Sharon he immediately knew something was wrong he left the couple behind and went to search others. "Where is Y/n?" "Steve?" Sam rushed to hug his friend, Nat was teary eyes seeing her bestfriend back. "Steve you are back" she hugged him as much as Steve was happy to see them and grateful for them welcoming him back he couldn't stop thinking about you. "Nat please I'm sorry if I'm sounding rude" Nat shook her head finishing his sentence for him "Y/n left for some alone time Steve, she was suffocating here" "Yeah man everyday she was dying here" "What happened after I left?" Sam and Nat told him everything Bucky did and how Tony does not fully know the truth that you hid for Steve's hard work of making him trust Bucky. Steve's heart broke even in pain you didn't think ill of Bucky. "Where is she?" "I'll give you the hotel address and don't worry we let her leave only on the condition she calls us everyday" "Thank you Nat if she calls don't tell her I'm coming to her" Nat nod at him and Steve left for you.

Your head was a mess, your emotions were all over the place you spent the nights crying asking yourself why. You did call the team daily not wanting to go back soon, you locked yourself in your hotel room trying to wrap your head around the entire situation. The love you had just went down the drain like nothing. You had your doubts but we're blinded by his love and now paying the price it's been almost a month you barely ate and slept cold showers did not felt cold. You were lost in your own world when someone knocked on the door and thank god you opened the door you were shocked eyes glossy as soon as you whispered "Steve" he was quick to hold you in his arms as you cried and fisted his shirt, when Steve saw the state you were in his heart broke. He couldn’t help but feel guilty after all he was the one to introduce you two only for you to suffer. "Why did he do this to me Steve why?" Steve kept rubbing your back to comfort you "Everything hurts Steve please make it stop take my heart out I can't take it no more Steve please help me stop this pain" Steve's heart broke completely he blamed himself if he had not left you would have not been in this situation but that does not mean he didn't learn from his mistake seeing you beg him to stop your pain Steve silently promise to protect you and heal your heart he swear he will not let anyone hurt you not even his best friend Bucky on that day Steve decided you are his and when the time is right you will know about his love but for now you needed your best friend and that's what he was going to be. After crying for hours in Steve's arms he finally managed to put you to sleep Steve's own eyes were teary he was angry at Bucky, angry at himself he was facing back and forth until his eyes fell on your personal diary he knew it was wrong but he had to know so respectfully he skipped all the parts and just saw the last few pages he was fuming in rage how dare Bucky pack your bags and tell you to leave the audacity to lie to him, he put the diary back in its place and texted Nat to come over. As soon as Nat came Steve told her to look after you and he will be back quickly. Steve for the first time broke traffic rules drove like a madman he literally ran up to were Bucky was and as soon as he saw him Steve's mind flashed your image the hurt and pain you were in the words in your diary he was fuming in rage "You bloody liar" with that Steve punched Bucky hard on the face, Bucky was shocked Steve punched him again and again calling him liar and a cheat Sharon didn't dare interfere Sam had to hold the captain back only after Sam talked about you Steve stopped but not before warning Bucky for the last time " You stay away from her and mark my words Bucky you will regret this" All Bucky could say was sorry and how he is happy with Sharon, Steve chuckled at his stupidity "one cheater got another cheater no wonder you two make quite the couple" with that Steve left a very confused Bucky alone with Sharon in the tower.

As for Steve Rogers he had his dance and now he is where he belongs that is with you and the first step towards your happiness was to shift you from the hotel to his apartment in Brooklyn time to take you home.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------(to be continued, also thank you all you guys are awesome lots of love to you all, initially it was supposed to be a one shot but it turned out into a series the next part might be last depends on how the story goes take care and feedback is appreciated 😊❤️) ----------------------------------------------------- Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

----------------------------------------------------- TAGLIST- @vicmc624 @sapphirebarnes @cjand10 -----------------------------------------------------

[eclairfromleclerc]

Hello people! It’s been a while since my last chapter but the writer’s block was humongous and I kept pushing myself to write the next chapter. It is another long one, almost 25K words. Please excuse me for my long ass absence and stay with me for the rest of the story! I hope you’ll enjoy the newest part and I can’t wait to see your opinion and comments on it. Take care. Until the next one <3 xx

All’s Fair

(Toto Wolff x Reader!Horner) Chapter 9

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5 chapter 6 chapter 7 chapter 8

Monaco has the best sunny days in the whole world. You’ve loved going out under the Mediterranean sun every time your family visited Monaco when you were young. Now laying on the couch that you’ve spent almost all of your summers on, you see the light entering the apartment. Music plays in the background as your friend Sara is making coffee in the kitchen and you are laying in her living room as you’ve always done. 

After the victory celebrations on Sunday you left the track and flew straight back to Nice. Your childhood friend Sara picked you up and you’ve been staying in her family’s house in Monaco for the past 2 days. Those days passed by with your usual activities. Having coffee in the casino square, going out clubbing, cooking, gossiping and in general doing girly things. As soon as you arrived in Monaco you visited the apartment that Sara proposed and booked it right away as you had already asked for your belongings to be moved to Monte Carlo. The only thing left for you to do is to move all of those things to the apartment. The thing about being in Monaco is that now you are able to show the world where you are. During the past weekend there was just speculation about where you actually were. You had managed to place yourself in Monaco with some instagram posts but no one knew (well except for Toto and Lewis) that you still were in Jeddah.

“Sweetheart coffee is ready.” Sara yells from the kitchen 

“Bitch I don’t drink coffee” you answer “You haven’t seen me in a month and you already forgot?” 

“Shut up, I made you your Earl Grey just how you like to drink it” she says and you’ve already made your way to the kitchen 

“Thank you idiot” you tell her

“You’re welcome, your majesty,” she says, mocking you for your tea preferences. You sit down opposite to her and start drinking your tea. “So” she interrupts the silence “Do you remember Marc?” she asks 

“Marc who?” you ask

“Marc Taylor.”

“S, are you serious? Are you asking me if I remember the guy I had a crush on for ages?” you ask her

“Well you’ve met a lot of people since you started working in F1 and I genuinely thought you forgot him” she says “Anyways, he saw the story I reposted from yesterday night  at Jimmy’z and replied to it. He asked me if we wanted to join him today.” 

“Join him where?” you ask intrigued

“He will be having a brunch party at his yacht.” she says trying to hype it up 

“Ugh, I’m not sure I want to see so many people.” you say 

“Come on Horner, it’s going to be so great. We haven’t had a brunch party at a yacht in ages, the last time we did was when you graduated.” she pauses “Plus he told me not to hype it up, the only people there will be his friend group.” 

“Marc’s friend group is 15 people. I am only willing to see 5.” 

“Why are you acting like a 65 year old with depression, come onnn.”

“Because my job drains me to the point that I just want to stay at home with a cup of tea and read a good book. I am with people every day and during the weekend I am chased by cameras and fans.” you tell her as she looks at you mockingly “I know, I know. I chose this life and to be frank I love the whole fame,chase and clout that comes with it. But during my non-race weekends, I need to have a detox.”

“You had your whole week off, enough paddock detox, enough people detox. What were you doing in Jeddah? Meditating, visiting the four seasons’ spa, drinking coffee, eating expensive meals. That’s enough, now we get to party.” 

Little does she know that you weren’t actually meditating, not visiting spas, not even staying at a four seasons’ but at a Ritz. You take a look at your best friend as she puts on her puppy eyes. 

“Pretty please.” she says and she crosses her hands as if she’s begging “Do it for me Horner, it’s going to be fun. It’s part of your new life after all. People here in Monaco have brunch yacht parties really often, so you better get your ass ready. We are going.” she says.

You shrug in response, but actually get up from the chair and go to the guest room where all of your belongings currently are. You open your suitcase and take out the sundress you wore the day you and Toto went for coffee together and match it with a pair of Hermes sandals. The weather is now sunny in Monaco and you actually love how it is a great mix of sun, breeze and heat. You put on some makeup and style your hair as loosely as you can, you’re going to be in the sea after all. Later both you and Sara leave the house and go to the location that Marc dropped a pin on. You can hear people talking from the other side of the yacht, the one that faces the Mediterranean. You quickly jump on the platform on the back of the yacht and walk up to the place where everyone’s sitting. 

“Hello everyone.” you say and you see Marc standing up approaching you. Sara is just behind and she waves everyone but doesn’t get any closer to you. Marc comes to your side and hugs you. 

“Miss Horner.” he says in awe “It’s been a long long time hasn’t it?” he asks 

“It has. Thank you for the invitation.” you say “We brought a little something.” you say and you hand him the bottle of Dom that you’ve been holding. 

“It’s really no big deal, I wanted to see you and Sara so I just texted. Thanks for the Champagne.” 

By the time both of you stop interacting, Sara is already sitting on the table and speaking to everyone. You take a seat, far from her in the only two empty chairs and Marc emerges shortly after to take the seat next to you. Without asking he starts filling your plate. 

“You should definitely try the Croque Madame, it’s a miracle.” he says and you smile at him 

“I will, thanks.” you reply as you register his existence next to you. He’s the most charming guy you’ve met, well less than Toto but to be frank, you can see why you were heads over heels with him. At that moment you decide to snap a photo and text Toto.

You 

[Photo]

Much earned gift for my last week’s performance

Wolff

You better recharge, I want you on your A level in Baku. 

[Photo] 

The weather here is freaking awful, I miss Monaco. 

You 

Wait, you actually know how to send pictures? Monaco is amazing today. You should have been here.

Wolff

Replying: Remember who gives you access to the paddock. 

If I were there you wouldn’t be in that yacht right now.

You 

Toto behave, you’re at work. 

Wolff

I’m at a business meeting and I hate those so why not distract myself with some other thought. 

You 

Because I’m so hot you’re going to embarrass yourself. Gotta go now, I've got a whole yacht waiting for me

Wolff

I don't blame them. Have fun, just not too much ;)

You laugh at Toto’s texts as Marc watches you at the same time 

"Are you bored of us" he asks

"No, I just have to text someone" you reply 

"Red Bull keeps getting you busy I see?" he asks 

"Actually, I am not in Red Bull for the time being, I am just enjoying myself  and I am actually moving here next week" 

"Great decision to be honest. Monaco could use a distraction." He says 

"So I've been told" you tell him

"By whom?" he asks and you realize you cannot possibly talk about Toto with him 

"Just a good friend" you laugh 

“ah one of those best friends, I get it" he says and you nod not showing any emotion at all over what it meant

“Are you enjoying yourself in F1?” he asks trying to start conversation with you

“I am. It is a space I’ve grown up in and I already knew everyone as well as everyone knew me. There’s nothing different as to what I’ve lived up to now except for the fact that I have a little bit more screen time than I used to have 5 years ago.” 

“Well 5 years ago I used to see you almost every week and now I have to watch F1 to see you.” he says

“You watch F1 now?” 

“I always watched F1.” he says 

“I’m pretty sure you’ve only watched the Monaco Grand Prix.” 

“Until this year.” he replies “Plus I have a really good reason.” 

“What’s the reason? Max’s racecraft?” 

“Nah, you are” he says and you freeze temporarily

“I’m flattered.” 

“I meant it as a compliment so you should be.” he tells you and he looks at you with a flirty look and you turn to look at Sara who is already too invested in her conversation with Marc’s friend, Tristan. 

The rest of the brunch party goes on in a pretty similar way. Marc keeps flirting with you and Sara is way too busy to come to your rescue. At some point the yacht leaves Monaco and sails in the Mediterranean for two or three hours while all of you party on the deck. Now the sun is setting down the horizon and you return back to the harbor of Monaco and the party has already winded down so you find yourself sitting on a chair sipping your last glass of champagne. Sara is nowhere to be seen, probably too busy making out with Tristan on the inside of Marc’s yacht since they’ve been missing for the last 45 minutes or so. The chair opposite to you is empty but not for long. As soon as Marc spots you he leaves his friends and comes to your company. 

“Did you enjoy the party?” he asks

“It’s been a while since I partied like this but I loved it. Now relaxing with a glass of champagne is the must thing to do.” 

“There’s plenty of space inside if you want to lay down for a while.” he tells you

“I think the space might be occupied by our friends and as close as I am with Sara today isn’t the day that I want to listen to her having sex with your best friend.” you laugh

“The yacht has 6 cabins. I very much doubt all 6 of them are taken.”

“6 cabins huh? The Taylors really have given it some thought before spending money on this yacht.”

“Yeah, my mom insisted. But hey, that’s why we’re working our asses off every day. To spend on things like this.” 

“So you are working?” you ask him

“Yeah, I’ve taken over some of my dad’s companies and I’ve been living between Monaco and Switzerland for a while.” 

“And how is it?” 

“You know how it is. We’ve learnt to live in this world. I love the job but really that’s all I focus on. Thank god all these fuckers are around and remind me that I need to have a work life balance.”

“Oh my god. Marc Taylor is a workaholic?” you say surprised “You need people to remind you to live for a while instead of working?” 

“My mom is so afraid that I won’t even have a wife that she’s trying to get me to meet eligible bachelorettes.”

“Lisa is actually doing this?” you ask shocked

“Lisa has been asking me to ask you on a date for months” he tells you and you laugh hysterically.

“Well tell Lisa that I am twice the workaholic that you are. I am not working and living, I am living my life at work. I am constantly working.”

“How does it feel?”

“It does get a little lonely at times. But as you’ve said I’ve learnt to live like this ever since I was a baby. Sometimes I just wish I had someone to support me.” you tell him and what he does next surprises you. 

He leans closer and puts a hand on your cheek and kisses you. You don’t react. Partly because you were caught completely off guard and partly because your 19 year old self would die for this kiss but the only thing in your head that played over and over again is “You can’t do this to Toto” .  He pulls away from the kiss and you smile but he’s looking for something more and you know it. 

“Marc,  look I am so flattered that you actually like me. My 19 year old self would be dead right now. But as much as I used to like you then, I cannot do it now.”

“You’re not into it huh?” he asks partly heartbroken partly surprised

“It’s not that. It’s that there’s someone else in my life right now and the things with me and him aren’t that simple so I wouldn’t want to further complicate it.”

“I understand.” he says “Although Lisa would be thrilled to have you as her daughter in law, I have to destroy her dreams.” he laughs

“I am so sad. Tell her I love her regardless and if I end up alone you’ll be the first one I will flirt with.” 

“Bold way to tell me I am the second option.” 

“Oh god no that’s not how I meant it. It’s just that you never know how life will play out. We might end up married managing the Taylor Group and Red Bull Racing, but we might just end up as two workaholic friends who push each other out of their working space.”

“That’s true.” he says 

For the next 10 minutes you discuss and when the yacht finally arrives at the harbor you leave the yacht before thanking everyone. You and Sara walk back home and she keeps talking about her and Tristan during the whole way to her house. You keep quiet about the whole thing with Marc and let her vent about what happened for the rest of the day. Late at night just when you’re ready to go to sleep, her in her bed and you on an inflatable mattress Sara is still talking about Tristan. 

“He actually texted me like 5 minutes ago, I can’t believe it.” she says “We are plann-” 

“Marc kissed me.” you say interrupting her mid sentence

“WHAT?” she screams and jumps on her bed

“Yeah, you were too busy screwing Tristan on those cabins but when we arrived at the harbor, he sat down next to me and kissed me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” she asks completely shocked

“Because you were venting about Tristan and I knew you would react this way.” you answer

“Well why aren’t you reacting in this way? You’ve had a crush on him since forever.”  she asks

“Had. Past tense.” 

“Well, do you have someone better than Marc to hook up with? His father is a freaking billionaire and he’s about to inherit all this. He’s handsome and kind and he’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of.” 

“Yeah, now he’s not the one I am dreaming of. Plus, believe it or not, it’s not always about the money.”

“Are you out of your mind? Who is possibly a better option than Marc for you right now? Well, to be frank Charles Leclerc is. You’re not sleeping with Charles Leclerc are you?” she asks and you laugh 

“If you actually knew who the guy who is the better option you’d definitely think I’m out of my mind. And no, I am not sleeping with Charles Leclerc, sadly.” you tell her

“If you don’t spill, I will kick you out.” 

“I most definitely cannot tell you.” 

“Come on, we’ve known each other since we were in the womb, your family is my family, what tells you that I could possibly say anything to anyone?” 

“Okay, I will tell you, just because you actually are my best friend. But don’t you dare say anything to anyone or I will be destroyed. Oh, tell me your wildest prediction.”

“Just so that I have a clear target group, he is from F1 right?” she asks and you nod “Omg, is it Max? Because if it is Max it will be the most iconic friends to lovers boo-” she starts ranting and you interrupt to shock her once again

“It’s Toto Wolff” 

“WHO?” she looks at you like you are a lunatic. 

“It’s freaking Toto Wolff, Team Principal of Mercedes AMG Petronas F1” you tell her and she looks absolutely shocked

“You are definitely out of your freaking mind. Since when are you into older guys and how the hell did that happen?”

“I always thought he was attractive but was blindsided by Christian’s hate for him. But long story short, I got drunk once and we hooked up and it’s only been going downhill from there. I’ll have to explain it to you when I get to my new apartment.”

“I am absolutely shocked.” she says “Is he at least treating you right?” she asks

“We are just hanging out but he’s been decent I’d say.” 

“Now that I am thinking about it,  he kind of is the better option.” she says and she visibly loses herself in thought 

“Just so you know, the only people who know about all this are you and Lewis.” 

“I have a common secret with Lewis Hamilton?” she asks, showing her clear preference for him. 

Your answer is to just laugh and then say goodnight to her. 

The next day you are being woken up by the light entering the room from the window that you forgot to close. It’s the day that you will finally move to your new apartment in Monaco. You grab your phone first thing and you see millions of notifications, more than usual. Your first thought? Something bad happened. And indeed something had happened, not exactly bad, but the headlines from the news, tweets and tags are somewhere in between the tone of

“Red Bull Racing’s newest management addition shows her love with a billionaire’s son in Monaco.”

The first article wrote: Miss Horner and Mr. Marc Taylor were spotted getting cozy at the latter’s yacht party in Monaco harbor yesterday. The pair shared a kiss and they seemed to exchange some fond words. We are excited about this new romance blooming in the streets and seas of Monaco. Are we going to see the Taylor Group entering F1 alongside Miss Horner’s Red Bull Racing? It’s only a matter of time to see.  

“Shit, shit, shit” you keep saying and Sara who has only woken up looks at you like you’re crazy

“What?” she asks

“It’s all over the freaking internet.” 

“You and Wolff?” she asks nervously

“No, god, it’s me and Marc” 

“Wait, how did that happen?”

“Someone must have snapped a picture of us while we were kissing when the yacht was in the harbor. God this is a disaster.” 

“Why is it a disaster?” she asks. Well sometimes you really doubt about her having a brain

“If Toto sees this he’s going to be feral.” you say “Oh god, I should text him right now to let him know that the whole thing is a lie.”  You open the iMessage app

Wolff 

[Photo] 

Flying to Nice from the UK, I’ll be in Monaco for the rest of the week. 

You check the time that this was sent. Yesterday afternoon. You were probably at the party then and you accidentally deleted the notification so you didn’t see the message afterwards but now you decide to reply. 

You

I hope that you have arrived in Monaco safely. I am sure I will see you somewhere here before we get the chance to meet all alone. Sorry I didn’t reply earlier but I must have accidentally deleted the notification while I was at that yacht party yesterday. Speaking of which, I need to talk to you about the whole thing going around on the internet. 

You see that your messages are being instantly read but you get no reply. 

“The moving truck will be arriving at the apartment in 20 minutes, we must get going. Come on, get ready.” Sara says

“S, Toto is leaving me on read, do you think he’s mad at me?”

“No, he’s probably too busy in those company meetings back at Brackley.” she tries to reassure you 

“Toto flew to Monaco yesterday afternoon, he’s not at Brackley.” you tell her

“Well, he’s still working from Monaco so he might reply to  you later. Girl, we really don’t have time for this. It’s moving dayyy.” she says trying to hype you up. “Up, up, up” she says trying to grab you “The moving guys will be at the apartment and you will be lying here all day? Let’s get ready to move in. You’ll worry about Wolff later. And at the end you told me that you’re just hanging out, it's not anything serious so you’re free to do whatever you want. And if he’s sure that you want him he won’t even believe those things.” 

You stand up before replying and put on a pair of sweats and a Red Bull t-shirt to be comfortable while moving in. “I know that we’re just hanging out at the moment. It’s just that the things are confusing as it is now, I don’t want Marc Taylor confusing them more than that.” 

“He won’t. But you’ll have to worry about it from your new bedroom so, shoes on, grab your bag and let’s go to the apartment. 

You do as she says and 20 minutes later you are outside your newest home getting the keys from the owner while the guys are removing boxes and furniture from the truck. 

“Well, you are here.” Sara says. “I have to confess it looks really pretty and modern.”

“Sara, it’s just the outside of the building.” 

“But still it’s pretty. The actual apartment is prettier though” she says and she instructs all of the boxes with your belongings and furniture to be moved to the 6th floor. For the first time in your life you will be living at the top of a building. You and Sara take the elevator to the apartment. You unlock the door while the guys are waiting for you and you enter using your right foot first.

 “It’s for good luck.” you say to Sara and she smiles doing the same 

For the next 5 hours you and Sara assemble your furniture and unpack the boxes with all of your stuff. You show her your ideas on how to put everything into place as you’ve imagined it and as you’ve seen it on your pinterest moodboards. At some point both of you try to settle the bed in your master bedroom. A new queen sized bed that you bought after seeing how big the room is. The one side of the loft is covered in full length glass windows that have a great view to the mediterranean with a huge balcony just in front of them that you will probably enjoy your morning tea in, during the non race weeks. The light enters every room, giving them a great coziness and openness. While you two are trying to move the bed just in the right place you remember that now you happen to have neighbors. 

“Shit S, are we making too much noise?” you ask

“Well, if you know another way that we can move this monster bed and not make a sound, let me know.”

“What if the neighbors are annoyed?”

“They can fuck themselves, it’s not even quiet hours yet.” she says and you help her do the job.

After the bed gets in the right place you lay there for a second

“Horner, come on, what are you doing?” 

“I am too overwhelmed by this, we’ve been working for 5 hours nonstop and this thing isn’t anywhere close to a living apartment.” you tell her

“Oh and wait till I leave you to go to the gym.” she says

“Come on Sara, you are working out here can’t you just skip the gym today and help me a little with those boxes?” 

“I’ve been doing it for the past 5 hours if that says something to you. I will be leaving in half an hour though. And don’t worry. You can take it one step at a time and after some time you will manage to unpack your whole stuff.” she says smiling

“I hate you.” you tell her and you go back to work. 

You set your new office in the living room,  just in front of the large window so that you get enough light and inspiration from the views outside. You also set the couch and the coffee table in front, as well as your new TV. Half an hour later Sara leaves indeed for the gym, leaving you all alone for the first time in your newest apartment. That’s when it hits you and you grab your phone. The messages you sent to Toto, still unanswered and it’s been a long time since he’s read them. You decide to give him a call. You press his phone number and wait for him to pick up. You hear one, then two, then three rings and then it goes straight to voicemail. You hear his voice that you haven’t heard since Sunday. The phone rang but it went to voicemail which means that he’s declining your call. You try once again, the same thing. You get it, he’s probably angry with the whole thing but if he doesn’t want to talk to you nor do you. Instead of overthinking it you throw yourself back at moving. You blast some Taylor Swift on the speakers that you connected first thing as you entered the loft, and drop a huge box of books in front of you which you put on the built-in shelves in the living room. You use your ladder to fill the upper shelves that you cannot reach by yourself. You keep dancing, moving things, chairs, couches and tables. At some point you hear the door knocking. You turn the music off and run to the door. 

“Who is it?” you ask and you hear a voice from the outside of the door

“I live downstairs and I wanted to let you know that it’s quiet time now, you are annoying us with all that music and moving things.” the voice says. You feel very embarrassed about what you did and the last thing you want is to piss your neighbor off so you decide to open the door and apologize. But when you do you freeze. 

“Toto?” you say and he looks at you, his eyes wide as if he just saw something unbelievable 

“What are you doing here ?” he asks

“This is my new apartment in Monaco, I was just moving in.”

“You’re joking.” he says

“Do you actually live downstairs?” you ask thrilled

“I do yeah, I live on the fifth floor loft.” he says 

“How was England?” you ask and he looks at you. 

“Fine.” he replies, obviously bothered.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you, I texted you this morning but you didn’t reply.” you say “I also tried calling but it went to voicemail.”

“Talk to me about what?” he asks acting like he doesn’t know

“About Marc Taylor. Toto, I know you’ve seen it, it’s all over the internet.” 

“I mean what would you possibly have to say about Marc Taylor? It’s a shared secret that you’ve been wanting him since high school, everyone in Monaco knows it. You must be over the moon though. Handsome, rich, young and charming. Everything you’re looking for.” 

“You have to believe me Toto.” 

“Believe you about what? You clearly wanted the guy since forever so why not give in?”

“You fucking know that the whole thing is fake.”

“There are pictures,” he says, keeping calm. 

“You know how it fucking is Toto, those reporters only take whatever they think will make people engage more with their stories. They only caught the kiss but after that I told him that there is someone else in my life.”

“I wouldn’t know. I am not the one going around boat parties in Monaco and kissing strangers.”

“Just admit you are jealous.” you say

“Now you know what? I find it really pretentious that you get to be angry with the whole Cynthia thing and I am suddenly overreacting to seeing you kiss other guys.”

“It is not the same.” 

“No, it is exactly the same and your position is way worse than mine because me and Cynthia haven’t seen each other since this thing started.” he says

“Well, it’s not like this “thing” is something exclusive so I can see and kiss whomever I want.” you say 

Toto turns and looks at you and this is the first time you see a kind of hurt in his eyes

“Do you ever shut up Horner?” he asks

“I’ve told you before, only if I am made.” you say and look at him 

Hearing these words probably makes a bell in Toto’s head ring because the next thing he does is to grab you by both hands and pin you against the wall like he did the first time he kissed you. He looks down at you as you look up at him and he leans in to kiss you but you push him just a little and grab his hand. You put it against your neck and once he gets the memo he applies a little pressure that makes you go crazy. He kisses you slowly and you kiss him back in enjoyment. A few seconds later he grabs you and runs into the hallway searching for your bedroom. Once he finds the bedroom with the queen size bed he rushes and pushes you to the bed. You lie on your back looking at him. The power that this man holds, you think. You slowly begin to undress him, freeing him of his gray sweatpants and leaving him only with his boxers on seeing him growing hard as he looks at you. 

“Is the bed new?” he asks and you nod

“What a way to use it for the first time huh?” you say and he laughs 

“Let me tell you something Horner, I don’t want you anywhere near me with a red bull shirt ever again” he says and he strips you off of the red bull shirt “It’s the biggest turn off.” 

“I can see it” you tease him. At first he seems pissed off but then he takes your sweats off and then he does the same with his T-Shirt. 

“Enough talking” he says and he leans in for a kiss which you deepen immediately. He leans in on you and you push him towards you from his neck as he stabilizes himself by putting one of his knees between your thighs. You feel the intrusive thought in your brain and you grind yourself on his knee

“Much needy I see ?" he asks and you do nothing but look at him 

“Can’t resist mister Wolff” you say 

“As you should miss Horner.” he replies and his hand moves to your chest while he starts kissing you on your neck. You feel him leaving hot trails of kisses on you as his hand cups your breast. Well he certainly has a way of doing things. His kisses leave you wanting more, needing more so to make yourself feel good you move your hips against him once again and you can feel him laugh against your skin as he moves his hand against your panties 

“So wet already” he whispers to your ear sending shivers down your spine “Does he also do that to you?” he asks clearly, talking about Marc. You shake your head as the words were kind of hard to come off your mouth 

“Use your words baby” he says 

“No, he does not” you say while your breathing is getting heavier

“Is he better?” he asks and you shake your head once again. 

“Toto please, I need you.” you say and he obeys to your plea.

He removes his briefs and pushes your panties to the side as he enters inside you. It feels good. Better than it had in Jeddah. You gasp at the move and you dig your nails on his back as he kisses you. He suddenly grabs your hands and removes them from his back while thrusting in and out in a slow but great way. 

“No touching today.” he says and holds your hands over your head with his strong grip. He keeps moving as you let small moans escape and you feel like you’re in another word. You want to touch him as well and right the time that he loosens his grip on you you try to move your hands but his grip gets stronger and smashes your hands back to the place they first were. You complain for a while but he makes you feel so good that this is the last thing you care about. 

“You’re so good love. Always feeling so good.” the pauses between his words are getting bigger, showing that he’s feeling as good as he does. “Good god.” he says once again and you laugh at him. He keeps going strong though, changing the tempo of his thrusts, hitting and touching all the correct places. You feel getting closer and closer to your climax but instead of laying calm you start leaving kisses on his chest. 

“You make me feel so good.” you say “Fuck Toto, you’re so good. God no you’re perfect.” 

“Are you close?” he asks 

“Yeah” you say and you gasp “You?”

“Very” he says in between his grunts. Some minutes later you come first and he follows you shortly after while repeating your name.

Right after that both of you lay naked on your new bed. Toto is caressing your hair as you are laying on his chest listening to his heartbeat. He breaks the silence first 

“Are we good?” he asks

“I am good” you reply

“I am talking about our fight.” he says

“Oh I thought that it was established when you were repeating my name while having sex with me.” 

 “You’re right.” he says and stares outside the window while the sun is setting. Both of you sit in silence for a minute or two until you break it

“He’s not better.” you say 

“Huh?” 

“Marc Taylor. He’s not better than you. It was nothing but a kiss, Toto.” you tell him “And yes, he might be a European billionaire’s son and he might as well be hot and charming but you are also all those things, which surprise, happen to be everything I seem to look for in a man. But I need you to know Toto, in my eyes you are more charming and hotter than him. I would give Marc Taylor up for you but I wouldn’t give up you for Marc Taylor.” you tell him and you look up at him while he’s staring at you, clearly paying attention to what you were telling him. 

“Thank you.” he says 

You keep laying there and by the time the sun sets you are already asleep. You wake up an hour later and you see Toto is also taking a nap. You nudge him and he wakes up. 

“What is it ?” he says being somewhere between asleep and awake

“Nothing, we just fell asleep here.” you say

“You’ve got a nice bed. Good choice.” he says

“I know but I have to get up to finish the rest of the apartment.”

“No one is helping you?” he asks

“Sara was here until she abandoned me to go to her gym session. Now I have to do this all by myself.” 

“You know you don’t have to do all of it today right? You are going to be exhausted. Plus I can also help you with unpacking.” 

“No, you probably have work to do. I’ll do them by myself and tomorrow Sara will be here to help me” 

“Who is Sara?”

“My best friend. She’s the one that found this apartment for me” you tell him

“So she’s the one that I have to thank?” he asks and you nod while laughing. 

“You will meet her as soon as I get back to Red Bull.” 

“Which is going to be when?” he asks

“I know you want to get rid of me but I don’t have any information yet. Beth usually sends me my schedule the week before each grand prix and judging by the fact that she didn’t send it until now, I think this won’t be the weekend you are looking forward to.” 

“Maybe you should start packing your things for Baku.” he says

“I don’t have anything to do there.”

“Come on, I told people Mindy Rosevelt will hang with us for a while longer.” 

“Second race at Mercedes?” you ask excitedly

“The Ritz in Baku has already been informed that we would like an extra suite.” 

“Toto, a suite? Again?” 

“You always need a suite, love.” 

“Do you have plans for Baku?” you ask

“How about we go to the paddock together, you sleep in my suite and you help us during the race?”

“So you only want me to be there to tell you about Red Bull’s strategies so you can win?” you say playing offended

“I only want you to be there because you make it easier for me to focus when you are next to me rather than in the garage next to ours. And because I want you in general.” he says

“That’s a good excuse.” you tell him 

“After all, even if it was only for the strategy part, you should remember that all’s fair in war.” 

“And love.” you say 

“That also” he replies 

“When are we leaving?” 

“Wednesday night, with my jet from Nice airport.” 

“Good.” you say

“Put some clothes on, we are going to unpack the rest of the boxes.” he says 

“Yes sir.” you say

“Sir huh? Remind me of that the next time I am laying in bed with you” he tells you and you laugh as you stand up to put some clothes on.  For the rest of the evening you and Toto unpack the boxes that you and Sara left. Both of you laugh as he makes fun of your music taste. He even dared to make fun of  Taylor Swift, which you did not take lightly but still forgave him when he danced with you in the living room of your new apartment and when you both watched the harbor from the balcony. It is almost midnight when he decides he has to go. 

“Why do you have to go now?” you ask

“The apartment is almost ready, Sara can help you set up the last box and I have to work tomorrow, unlike you.” 

“You are literally working from home and your home is downstairs, why can’t you stay for the night and leave tomorrow night?” you complain

“Because this is your apartment, your space. You have to spend the night alone to get used to the feeling.”

“I’ve lived alone before, I know how it is.”

“Yes but now it’s different, you'll see.”

“Can’t it be different with you here?” 

“It can, but I am positive you will be better off alone for this night.” he says “We won’t be lost after all, I will be downstairs, you can call me any time.” 

“Okay” you tell him “Can I kiss you goodnight?” you ask

“What happened to you? You are too expressive!” he says

“I know, you are not used to it.” 

“No, I am used to you being expressive, just not very emotional.” 

“Changed state of mind” you say 

“I like it.” he says “And to answer your question” he leans in and kisses you deeply “I was going to do it anyways.” 

You smile at the gesture “Goodnight Toto.” you say 

“Goodnight love.” he replies and he leaves. 

You close the door and walk straight to bed where you immediately fall asleep. 

The next day you text Sara and she drops by for a morning coffee in your new balcony. As soon as she enters the loft she looks around. 

“Wow Horner, did you get any sleep?” she asks

“I actually did.” 

“How did you unpack all of those boxes by yourself?” 

“I didn’t do it by myself” you tell her 

“Omg, who did you invite?” 

“No one, a neighbor helped me.” 

“Oh, you’ve already met your neighbors? That’s crazy. Are any of them hot?”

“Yeah I met one of them because he wanted to complain about the noise. And yeah, he was hot. In fact for me he is one of the hottest.” 

“What happened to Miss Toto Wolff is the hottest man on earth? Did she disappear?” 

“No she didn’t, because actually Toto Wolff IS the freaking neighbor.” 

“What the hell?” she asks “Girl I need coffee and Monte Carlo air STAT.”

You make her coffee and your tea and go to the balcony where you sit on a big white table. 

“Turns out Wolff is my freaking neighbor. He’s living downstairs and he heard the noise during quiet hours so he decided to give me a notice.” 

“But when he saw you he forgot what he noticed” she says

“No actually he did make the notice and then we pretty much fought for Marc, ended up having sex, had a nap and then unpacked all of my boxes. We danced together in the living room and then he left because he had to work today.” 

“You used the bed for the first time to have make up sex with Wolff?” she asks

“I pretty much did yeah” you tell her

“You are crazier than I thought you were.” she says 

“I am crazier than I thought I were” you say 

You tell her everything that happened yesterday night as both of you drink your beverages watching the view from your balcony. Later on Sara helps you unpack the last box and your apartment is finally set.  The next few days you pass your time by hanging out with Sara and your other best friends who happen to be in Monaco. Toto drops by some days and you two hang out for some hours until one day you finally ask him for a Mercedes project to work on so you can spend your time by being more productive. Days pass and it’s finally Wednesday morning when you are actually packing your clothes for Baku. You take mostly summer clothes even though you won’t be able to wear any of the to the paddock. You also take your extra Mercedes shirts and pants as well as Toto’s Mercedes shirt. You make sure everything is there. After that you call Sara to drop by so that you can say goodbye to her and spend the rest of the day alone at the apartment until Toto knocks the door to let you know that your driver has arrived and is ready to take you to Nice to finally fly to Baku.  A car ride and a flight later you and Toto land in Azerbaijan. Both of you wait in the jet until the car is ready to take you from the plane to the hotel. At that time the cockpit door opens and you take a look inside. The pilot who goes out of the cockpit is not Mike. You raise your eyebrow at this and you look at the door more intensely for Toto to notice.

“What are you looking at?” he asks looking up from his phone

“Our pilot.” you say 

“What about him, are you not satisfied?” he asks

“No, I am. But the question is, where is Mike?”

“He’s on leave, why?” 

“Just wondering”

“Why would you care about him?”

“Because I like him” 

“Noted” he says and turns back to his phone without speaking

“Are you jealous Wolff?” you ask

“No” 

“Are you sure?”

“End of discussion” he says and you laugh

“Okay sir.” you tell him 

After that the crew opens the door and you get off the plane. You already made sure that you have your mask on you so people won’t recognize you. Back to the same old ways. You take a ride to the hotel and you walk straight to your suite in which some other Mercedes employee checked you in before you arrived. Toto goes back to his own suite even though he asked you to hang out with him instead. You settle down in your suite and check Toto's schedule for the weekend

13:30-14:00: Press conference

14:10-14:50: F1 Team Principal Meeting

14:50-16:00: Coffee Break

16:00-17:00: Team Meeting

18:00-20:00: Business meeting

20:30: Dinner  

You open your phone and text Toto

You

I’ve been taking a look at your schedule, is everything to your agreement?

 Wolff

Yes, all is checked and approved 

You

Good to know. By what I'm seeing, it’s going to be a full day. I mean press, team meetings and business meetings

Wolff

Oh is it actually on my schedule?

You

The business meeting? Yeah it’s tabbed in from 18:00 to 20:00. Should I remove it, is it wrong?

Wolff

No, let them believe that I’m busy during that time.I have already planned something. It’s not a business meeting, it is supposed to be a meeting for us two but I told Brad that I will be busy so I guess he thought it was business related

You 

Oh, so I am busy  from 18:00 to 20:00 too? What are we going to do ?

Wolff

 I would let you be curious but we are supposed to go to a boat trip in the Caspian. I’ve chartered a boat for a couple of hours and then we will be having dinner too, so please do not wear high heels.

You 

Oh I love boat trips so no high heels 

It’s not like I could put heels on though, I will be dressed in the Merc gear all day long

Wolff

Well pack another outfit but still no high heels

You 

Okay then.  I guess I’ll see you later?

Wolff

Tomorrow

You switch your phone off and fall asleep for a few hours. It’s already early in the morning since you left Nice at night and the flight lasted a long time but thank god you didn’t have to be at the paddock until noon. You wake up at 11 and order some breakfast. You get ready and phone Toto to let him know you are ready. 10 minutes later you are on your way there in his black AMG SUV and you see the fans taking photos of the car. Well it’s Toto they’re taking pictures of since they have no idea about who you actually are. You get out of the car and go to Merc’s hospitality. You wave Toto goodbye and you go to your office while he’s off to his. Later on you hear a knock at your door. 

“Who is this?” you ask

“Mindy, it’s Lewis.” you hear a voice 

You stand up and put your mask on before opening the door. Better safe than sorry. When you open the door you see that it’s indeed Lewis so you welcome him in. You take off your mask and sit on the little couch

“How is it going?” he asks

“Everything’s good, thank you. How are you?” 

“Good. You know how it is. Just running around, trying to keep up with everything.”

“Lewis Hamilton trying to keep up? I am pretty sure everyone is trying to keep up with you, not you with them.”

“Well yeah, when it comes to F1 it’s pretty much how you say it is. But in real life I have so many things to keep up with.” 

“I bet you do. Like I am pretty sure you are flying to New York as soon as the race ends.”

“I am. Met Gala.” he says and you laugh

“So you won’t be here for post race celebrations if you win. I guess I should hand the win to George this time, or maybe let Red Bull win.” 

“Don’t you dare” 

“I won’t Lew, you know you’re my fav. But if you want to secure the win, I need to get in the Met next year.” “Deal.” he says

“Oh god Lewis, I was only joking.” 

“I know, but I am pretty sure that I can land you an invitation.”

“We’ll see until next year.” you tell him “Is Roscoes coming to the gala?” 

“No, I am actually sending him back to Monaco for the week and then he’ll be with me in Miami.”

“Where is he going to stay in Monaco?” 

“At the pet hotel.”

“Why don’t you leave him with me ?” 

“In Monaco?” he asks

“I live there now” 

“You do? I can leave him with you, of course.”

“If you don’t fully trust me I can ask Toto for his help. We live in the same building.” “I have so many questions about this but I have to go. It’s gym time.” he says

“We can figure out the logistics about Roscoe later. Have a good session Lewis.”  you tell him before he leaves the office 

For the next hour or so you hang out in your office all alone and when it is time you leave the hospitality center to accompany him to the press conference. Just when you are outside the press conference center you see Christian and by his side a really familiar face that you cannot remember. You take another look at her while Toto stops dead in his tracks. 

“What?” you ask him and he looks confused. You take a look for a third time. You see a familiar girl dressed in Red Bull gear talking to Christian. It’s then when it clicks. The girl is Cynthia. Cynthia Jones dressed in Red Bull speaking to Christian. What the heck is this about? You can feel the anger rising to your chest

“Breathe” you hear him say

“That’s too far” you tell him 

“It’s crazy.” he says “Go talk to her, find out what this is all about.” 

“I will" you say

“Just be careful not to reveal too many things" 

“Of course" 

Toto glances at his watch. 12:55 

“I should get going, press is starting in 5" 

“Okay, I'll see you later" you tell him and he nods “Do you wanna meet here?"

“I’ll be straight off to the TP meeting. I will see you during the coffee break, okay?”

“Okay” 

“Try to find out what Cynthia is doing here.” he says 

“I will” you tell him and you smile

“And if you are too angry about what you find out, I have some files you can take a look at while you’re waiting.”

“Okay” you say and you leave him. You spot Cynthia hanging out outside the press center and you decide to approach her

“Hello.” you tell her

“Hi” she replies and smiles “Oh, you’re Mindy right? The girl who gave us the Mercedes tour in Jeddah?” 

“Yup, that’s me.” maybe not “What are you doing here?” you ask her

“I landed a job in Red Bull Racing. Isn’t it crazy?” she says 

“Oh definitely. You went from visiting the paddock to actually working here, congrats!” you try to play excited when you are actually fuming

“It was meant to be. I landed the job when I was visiting the paddock in Jeddah.”

“How come?” 

“Christian Horner met us at the paddock club and he asked what we were doing. Once I told him about my studies in management he asked to see me in person and then he proposed this job.”

“What’s your position?” 

“For what I’ve understood, I am currently sort of  replacing Christian’s daughter while I am also acting like his PA.”

“Oh so management?” 

“It’s still too early for that title and I definitely don’t have that much freedom as an executive does. I am thinking it more like an internship in management while also being a personal assistant to Christian.” 

“Oh Christian” you say and you roll your eyes 

“He’s not as bad as everyone thinks he is.” she says “He might actually be better than Toto” 

“Yeah, nah” you tell her “Toto is actually definitely more human-ish than Christian.” 

“And how would you know? Have you ever worked with Christian?” she asks jokingly. If only she knew

“No but judging from the paddock rumors he seems to be a tough one to handle.”

“Absolutely not. He is really kind and funny. Really chill type. He made me call him by his name since day 1. It’s really like we’re friends.”

“That’s really good for you.” you say

“What about Toto?” she asks. As if she would let it go 

“Mr. Wolff is really nice.” 

“You’re not calling him Toto?”

“No, he prefers to keep things professional. He’s more into being formal and things.”

“Must be boring” she says

“It’s pretty good for now and I’m always guessing, familiarity might be a little too much at some point.” 

“Christian has been saying this about his daughter.”

“He has?” you ask slightly nervously

“Yeah, he said that working with family might be a little too overwhelming at some point.”

“Well he’s kinda right. Did he say why she left?”

“From what I’ve taken they decided that she should take a break and she’s currently hanging out in Monaco in her new apartment. He’s thinking of taking her back by the Monaco Grand Prix but he’s not sure yet.” she tells you 

“Oh, well. Whatever suits them best.” 

“Yeah, we are not the ones to judge.” 

“Definitely not.” 

“It was really fun talking to you again Mindy. We should hang out sometime.” 

“Yeah definitely.”  It’s not like you slept with the man I am sleeping with. you think 

You wave at her and leave the press center to wait until Toto finishes his morning tasks. You open the F1TV stream and watch his interview. When Will starts asking a question to Franz Tost you decide to text Toto about your findings. 

You

Turns out Cynthia Jones is staying in my life for good cause apparently Christian hired her in my position during the Saudi GP. And I wasn’t even out of the team for a week 

You see him holding his phone and taking a glance at it while Franz is speaking. He rolls his eyes and puts the phone back in his pocket. You stay once again in your office, going through Toto’s schedule for the weekend and looking at your socials. Some time later your phone rings 

Wolff

She’s going to make our lives hard but it's very typical of Christian to hire someone from the first day that you left 

You

She even proposed that we should hang out

Wolff

If only she knew 

You 

That’s what I said

Wolff

She was waiting outside the press center for Christian and now they’re both in front of me walking to the TP meeting. She’s talking and Christian is laughing like he’s having the time of his life

You 

I figured she’s that type of assistant cause according to her she and Christian are practically besties now. It’s going to be a good one when I get back to rb

Wolff

Remind me to mount a secret mic and camera on you when that happens cause I want to see the Horner-Jones fight. 

You

I bet you she’s going to regret the day she agreed to that position

Wolff

Whoa, too aggressive. How about checking some data before the coffee break cause rumor has it that you love reading data and commenting on them 

You 

Anything to get her off my mind and anything for you Mr. Wolff

Wolff

I’m flattered. There’s a file in your email waiting for your comments and questions. Bet Bono is going to be thrilled. I am off to the meeting, see you soon.

After Toto’s messages you check your email to take a look at the file he sent you. It’s full of data and details about this year’s rocketship. It is then when it hits you. The data are from the simulator and the track they’ve been using is Barcelona. In Red Bull you always used to run simulations in Barcelona so you have the exact same data from your ex team. You open them and start comparing them and finding where Mercedes lacks compared to Red Bull. You also open Adrian’s and GP’s essays on car performances and start noting any questions or things you’ve noticed. You really hope Toto will actually use them in his meeting with Bono and James. However, you keep all of the comparisons to yourself. You are not sure Toto is in favor of cheating so you will probably announce it to him later during the coffee break. You make a new file and email it to his account.  Later on you hear a knock on your door. 

“It’s Toto” you can hear him say and you unlock the door for him to enter. 

“Hey.” you say

“Hi, how are you feeling?” he asks

“I am good. I read all the data and I relaxed so much.” 

“Well, I, on the other hand, almost had a fight with Christian.” 

“Why?” you ask

“Because he was being a douchebag.” 

“Nah, he was just being Christian” you tell him and he laughs

“Was the data any good?” 

“Yeah, I also emailed you my questions and stuff.” 

“Oh, I will be forwarding them to James and Bono.” 

“Speaking of the data, I saw they were sim data from Barcelona.” 

“We use Barcelona almost every time for our simulations.” 

“Well, it turns out, Red Bull does too.” you tell him and he looks at you, suggests to keep talking “I have the comparisons fully made here. There’s also an excel file with all the lacks and the sections Red Bull might present an advantage.” 

“This is interesting.”

“I know Toto. But the thing is, I didn’t email those to you because I didn’t know if you wanted to have access to all that information.” 

“I totally get it.”

“You should understand that this is confidential, but if you decide you want it, it will be in your inbox right away.” 

“This file can affect the whole development path for us.” he says

“I know, that’s why I kept it.” 

“You should keep it for yourself.”

“I swear I won’t give this to Red Bull.”

“I trust that you won’t” he says

“I will always have it at hand if you want to use it though. Anything for Mr. Wolff” you say and both of you laugh

“Thank you.” he says “Do you want some coffee and a snack? It’s coffee break after all.” 

“No, thank you. You can leave this tiny office and enjoy your coffee in your office. I feel bad for keeping you here.” 

“I am only hanging out here because I want to.” he says “But I’ll leave you alone. We’ll have enough time tonight.” 

“Of course.” you smile at him

“Meet you after the team meeting ?”

“I will be waiting.” 

Once Toto leaves for his coffee break and the team meeting later you decide to go out and see the track. There are some bikes available at the hospitality center so you grab one and ride at the track of Baku. You see other people doing the same thing, some of the drivers are also doing their track walks. At some point you spot Max. It’s been a while since you talked considering the fact that you didn’t even see him in Jeddah but you kept texting during that time. When you spot him it is in your impulse that you almost yell at him to go and talk to him. When you remember that you are actually supposed to be an unbothered Mercedes employee you change your mind, and as you are caught up in your thoughts you almost lose your balance. Thankfully you save it before you find yourself in the ground or the barriers and you keep your direction and finish your lap. 6 km later you are back in your office, thankfully not sweaty since you took your time to circle the track, and you also have a cup of tea and a chocolate bun as a snack. You take a bite as you see today’s headlines from the Media day and you also take a look at some market news. After a while Toto texts again

Wolff

Just finished asking all of your questions to the mechanics and they were impressed to say the least because they managed to assess some really important things for the race

You 

Next time I should be present in those meetings

Wolff 

I will personally make sure of it. We will be done in 25, I’ll pick you up. Don’t be late

Those 25 minutes pass by quite fast and you don't realize until Toto is knocking at your door. Thankfully you packed your stuff earlier so Toto cannot complain about you being late. 

“I am impressed.” 

“I didn’t actually understand how fast the time passed. Thank god I had my things packed.”

“That’s why I texted you earlier.” he says

“Yeah but you cannot complain now.” you reply

“No, the truth is I cannot.”

“Are we going straight to the boat?” you ask

“Yes, that’s why I told you to pack another outfit. Tell me you didn’t forget”

“I did not” 

“Good. Now get your stuff, we are leaving.” After that both of you leave the track and go to the boat Toto has chartered for a couple of hours. He helps you hop on the boat and he does the same

“Are you going to drive this?” you ask

“Are you scared?” 

“It depends on whether you are driving this thing or not”

“I am driving” 

“Are you allowed to do this?” 

“You are shitting yourself” he laughs

“Yeah because if we drown, imagine the headlines people will write.”

“We’ll be the next Rose and Jack.” he says

“Yeah, almost.”

“Just so you know, I am fully capable of navigating the boat.” 

“For real?”

“I have a sailing license.”

“Is there anything you can’t do ?” 

“Think straight when you’re with me.”

“Very funny.”

“It’s true.” he says and you take a look around and see people walking up and down the harbor  “What about finally leaving? We’re going to miss the sunset if we take any longer.”

“Let’s go” he sails and he undocks the boat. 

The two of you sail in the Caspian leaving the Baku port behind you. Toto is making sure that everything he does is safe, occasionally checking on the radar to see whether there are other boats in close proximity. You sit by his side and snap a couple of pictures of  him while he’s driving the boat. He looks absolutely stunning. It’s already late afternoon, 19:00-ish and the sky is starting to get sweeter, indicative of the sunset later on. When you are finally out of the waters in a space that is far enough from the shore but close enough so you can distinguish the structures of the city, Toto drops the anchor and stops the boat there. “That’s quite a nice view.” you say 

“I figured you would like it” he says and comes to your side 

“You can actually see the whole city from here.”

“I figured that since we are not able to see the city together on foot, maybe this is the second best option.”

“It is. Although I would have loved a nice walk and a tour of the old city.”

“I would have loved that too.” he says as you keep looking at the city behind you and puts his hand on your lower back. 

“This right here, is the Maiden Tower," Toto points at a tower and your gaze follows his finger

“Legend has it that a young princess jumped from the top and ended her life because her father wouldn’t accept the man she loved."

“Hope I won’t end up this way.”

“God, I hope not.” he laughs and you shift your gaze to the two largest towers in the scenery

“The flame towers.” 

“I know them Toto, I’ve been coming to Baku for a while.” 

“Let me give you a tour, Horner. Don’t be shit.” he says and you smile

“Go on then.”

“The flame towers were finished in 2012. The building is a little less than 200 meters and it has a double purpose. In the first tower there are a lot of offices and apartments and in the second tower there’s a hotel.”

“What are they supposed to mean?” 

“They are meant to symbolize the eternal spirit of Azerbaijan and the country's enduring strength and resilience. Plus the whole flame design idea came from an Ancient Azerbaijani tradition of fire worshiping.”

“I love them, they look so pretty.” 

“And right beside there’s the crystal hall.”

“Never heard of it” you say 

“Eurovision was hosted there in 2012.” 

“Wait, how do you know, are you a fan ?” you ask him 

“No, I hate Eurovision.” 

“What?!” you say surprised. “You’re European, you cannot hate eurovision.” 

“I can, and I do.” 

“But why?” 

“Because it’s kitsch”

“It’s not kitsch, it’s camp, everyone loves camp.”

“It’s kitsch and I hate it, move on.” he says

“I cannot wait for the day that I will make you watch it.”

“I’d rather Christian find out about us.” 

“That’s a bold one” you tell him

“Last but not least, the fortress.” he says ignoring you and points to it

“I’ve seen the fortress, I took a ride at the track today.” 

“How did you like it?” 

“It’s so pretty, but it’s prettier from the sea. And much more interesting when you talk to me about it.”

“Hm” he says and he puts an arm around you 

“How did you learn all those things?” you ask

“I read a lot, even if I don’t have time to see the sights, I like to read about them, get to know the story of the city that I am in.” 

“That’s fair. I was wondering because I’ve been here like five times and I’ve never gotten past the name of each sight here.” 

“That’s good because you can for once, not talk and let me show you around.”

“You’re the best tour guide I’ve ever had.” you smile at him and you leave a kiss on his cheek. 

During the next hour you stay on the boat in the Caspian and see the sun set on the horizon. You take a look at the flame towers which reflect the orange and pink lights of the sunset. You snap some pictures of the scenery as well as Toto who is sitting carelessly in the boat with his white linen shirt and his sunglasses on. He also snaps some pictures of you from both yours and his phone and you also take some selfies. You immediately set the best picture of him as his contact picture and once you are done with the whole photo thing you get back to where Toto is currently sitting and relax with him for a little while longer. You two soak in the views without talking much. As it starts to get darker Toto drives the boat back to the harbor where you dock and leave to get to the hotel. Both you and Toto enter the elevator to get to your suites

“You’re coming over for dinner right?” he asks

“Well, I was thinking of getting some sleep for tomorrow.” 

“Come on, I’ve already asked roomservice to have our table set.”

“Now I can’t say no.” you tell him and smile at him. When the elevator gets to your floor you walk out and follow him to the door of his suite. You enter first and he follows and the smell of food hits your senses.

“It smells fantastic.” you say

“It’s traditional Azerbaijani cuisine.”

“I love it. We should have tried the Saudi Arabian foods as well.”

“Well, nothing can go wrong with Italian.” he says

“Then why didn’t we order Italian” you tease him

“Because I wanted to immerse myself in the Azerbaijani culture today.”

“Is it a part of the guided tour?” 

“Well, couldn’t it be?” he says “Since I’ve already given you a sight tour, I am ready to give you a culinary tour as well” he tells you as he pulls the chair off the table so that you can take your seat

“Thank you.” you tell him and you sit down as he walks back to his side of the table and sits down

“This is called Dolma.” he says as he leaves one of them on your plate “It is grape leaves with a filling of minced lamb with rice and some herbs.” 

“Interesting” you say as you take a look at the plates on the table “Oh god, is this kebab?”

“You know kebab?” he asks

“Literally everyone knows what kebab is Toto, it’s not a secret. It’s actually one of my favorite street foods.” 

“It is really good.” he tells you as he grabs a bite of it “You should also try out the pilaf” 

You take a look at it “What is this?” 

“It’s something like a risotto I guess” 

“I thought you knew the exact recipe of every single plate” you tease him

“Apparently I don’t, I just took a look at the menu and chose what I thought was best.” 

“Everything looks delicious though.” you tell him

“Wait until Miami. We’re going to eat some great burgers there.” 

“Speaking of which, I am not sure that I will be in Miami”

“Why ?” 

“Because it was cringe enough last year, I won’t submit myself  to that whole cringe fest again.” 

“You will be coming.” 

“Says who?” 

“Me” he replies and you sit there taking another bite of your amazing food, slightly annoyed . When he realizes that what he said made you angry he talks again. “Look, it is really important that you should be there. It is supposed to be your home race, we’ve told everyone that you are American, if you are only staying for a few more races it will be weird if you are not present for the only time you will get to go to a race in your country with the team.”

“No one will remember Toto.”

“People will remember. We have a list of each race in which we note whose home race it is. And by what I’ve seen you are already on the list.” 

“I didn’t write my name anywhere.” 

“I am pretty sure Bradley did. He probably remembers that you are American and just added you in.”

“And what about the home race list?” 

“We are kind of celebrating it by giving them less time to work during the weekend, or allowing them to bring their families in.”

“That’s so sweet though.” you say 

“I mean, people are important to us, they are not just workers, they are our companions.”

“I hate this team” you say and you see Toto lifting one eyebrow at you “I mean, I hate how much I already love it. How am I supposed to go back to Red Bull?”

“You can just stay in Mercedes.” 

“And say what to Christian?” 

“Tell him that his team is shit, his management is also shit and that you cannot grow in that shitty environment.”  

“He’ll find out that you told me to say that and then you will find yourself on the cover of Corriere dello Sport.” 

“Won’t be the first time.” he laughs “ Jokes aside, would you ever consider leaving Red Bull?” 

“Now I certainly do. I mean, I hadn’t seen anything aside from how Red Bull worked as a team and the race weekend at Saudi was eye opening.”

“Is that a yes?”

“I am already considering it, yes.”

“Will be nice to have you here one day, without hiding I mean.”

“I wasn’t talking about Mercedes. I am considering an offer at Ferrari.” you tell him jokingly and he almost chokes at his wine

“Where?” 

“Ferrari. It’s a really great team with a great legacy.”

“Ask them for a paddock pass for tomorrow then.” he says and you burst out laughing

“I am only joking.” you tell him “I would consider it if I had an offer from another team though.”

“We will always have a position available for you if you ever decide to leave that shithole.”  

“I’ll tell you when this happens.”

“There’s a when, not an if, that’s good.” 

“I know what’s best for me and I am slowly convincing myself it’s not Red Bull”

“Good.” he says and you two keep eating until you hear someone knocking on his door .

“I’ll be right back” Toto tells you and answers the door. You can hear him talking with someone, his voice is quite familiar. 

“Shov?What are you doing here?” 

“Do you have some time to see tomorrow’s practice program?” you can hear him say

“Um, I am actually a little busy.” 

“It will only take a second, you should only check and approve it.” 

“I fully trust you Andrew, I approve of it.”

“Good.” he says and he almost leaves “Are you having dinner with someone?”

“Yes, with Lewis, we are discussing contract extensions.” 

“Has he been here a long time?”

“An hour or so.” Toto tells him

“That’s funny, because 20 minutes earlier I was at the gym with Lewis.”

“Um…” 

“It’s okay Wolff, I hope you are having a good time with whomever you are hanging out with right now” he says and laughs “Hello unknown person who is having dinner with Toto.”  You hold your laugh until Toto says goodnight to him and he leaves the room. When you see Toto entering the room with his ‘I fucked up’ face, you burst out laughing and he joins you seconds later. “I hope he was not angry” you tell him 

“No he wasn’t angry, I am pretty sure he was thrilled about the whole thing. He’s been trying to get me someone to hang out with for ages.” 

“You are good mates huh?”

“He’s one of my closest friends, yes.” 

“And he still asks for your approval for the program he wants the team to follow tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, I’ve told him millions of times that it’s not necessary but he insists.”

“That’s so sweet of him.”

“I am only taking a look at it before approving it, it’s not like I pay that much attention, I fully trust him.” he tells you and you keep eating

“When are we leaving for Miami?” you ask

“We? I thought you weren’t coming.”

“I am, I also have to bring Roscoe with me, I promised Lewis that I will take care of him from Sunday till we get to Miami so that he doesn’t have to while he’s in New York for the Met.” 

“You promised Lewis that you will carry Roscoe all the way from Monaco to Miami?”

“That we will carry him, yes.” 

“How did I get involved in this? I don’t remember having any conversation about a dog.”

“I told him that I would take care of him and then I promised that you will help me since you’re now my neighbor. I figured you would know him a little better than I do. I mean Lewis brings him to the paddock almost every week.”

“And have you ever seen me with a dog in the paddock?” he asks

“No, but I thought you had a good relationship with him.”

“Me and Roscoe’s relationship is nonexistent, Horner.”

“Oh god, tell me you are afraid of Roscoes” you make fun of him

“I am thinking of leaving Nice on Thursday morning.” he says

“You are changing the subject.” 

“I am not, you asked me when I plan on leaving for Miami and I answered.” 

“Thursday huh? What about Media day?” 

“I’ll have Shov or either one of the two James to do it and we will be present for the Free practice.”

“Cool.” you tell him 

For the rest of the night you hang out together until you decide to leave.

“Will we be going to the paddock together?” 

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.”

“What’s the schedule for tomorrow? Hold up, let me check.” you tell him and grab your phone out of your pocket to take a look. “Oh you have a business meeting after FP1 which is supposed to last almost until the start of FP2. James is set to do the press.”

“I don’t remember having any business meetings. Who is it with?” 

You take a look at your phone reading the name which catches you completely off guard. You blink twice and take another look at it, still the same name. “Who planned this?” you ask

“I don’t know, I don’t remember planning anything for Saturday. Maybe Bradley did.” 

“This cannot be real.”

“It better not be Cynthia again.” 

“Who cares about her right now?” 

“Will you tell me who I am meeting tomorrow for whatever reason or am I going to this meeting unprepared?”

“The guy you hated last week, Marc Taylor?”

“Seriously?”  

“I am dead serious Toto, his name is here.” you tell him and show him the name on the schedule. “You are supposed to discuss sponsorship. Apparently the Taylor Group is interested in investing in F1” 

“This is going to be a hell of a meeting.” 

“This is going to be a disaster.” 

“Funny that both of the people from our past keep appearing in our ways.” 

“It’s not funny, it’s shit. Toto, promise me you will handle it gracefully.”

“Dear, I have nothing to be afraid of. You’ve proven to me who you’re always thinking of. It’s pure business. If he wants to invest and it favors the team then we shall cooperate.”  

You take a deep breath “That’s too much information and it’s already getting late. I am guessing I should get going.” 

“Won’t you stay for the night?”

“Nah, it’s quite early in the race weekend and I want you to focus tomorrow. Both for the testing sessions and the Marc thing.” 

“Okay, see you tomorrow?” 

“I am actually thinking that maybe I should skip FP1 since Marc will be around, I don’t want him finding out who I am.”

“Smart idea.”

“I am going to drive myself to the track and meet you for FP2” 

“Brunch at the track?” he asks

“Oh definitely.” you tell him and you kiss him goodbye as you go back to your suite. You don’t have anything to do so you decide to check your emails before going to sleep. You see a new message popping up the list From: Netflix, DTS

Miss Horner, we would like to schedule our next shooting with you for the newest season. Please let us know if and when you are available to be present at the track where the interviews take place.Kind Regards, The DTS Producers

You shrug and decide to answer From: Ms. Horner 

Hello and thank you for contacting me, I am currently taking some time off the team and I am not aware of which race weekend I will be back in the paddock. I  will however be happy to inform you as soon as I find out about my whereabouts within Red Bull. Regards, Miss Horner

You set your alarm at the same time Toto’s and Marc’s meeting is supposed to take place and then switch off your mobile and fall asleep. The next morning you wake up just in time to actually take a shower and get ready to go back to the track. You arrive there just in time for FP2. Everyone’s already in the garage so you decide to go there directly. As always, you see Toto sitting at the top of the fantasy island watching over the two garages. “Hello Mr. Wolff.”

“Oh, you’re here!” he says

“How did your meeting with Marco Barco go ?” you say and as soon as the words get out of your mouth you see Marc Taylor himself walking next to Toto with his headset on “How did you just call me?” he asks and you freeze, mainly because no one calls him like this except from you, the Horner you, not the Mindy Rosevelt you. “How did I call you?” 

“Did you call me Marco Barco?” he says and Toto looks at the both of you slightly confused

“I called you Marc. Just Marc.” you tell him

“Alright.” “Mindy, this is Marc Taylor, he’s the owner of our newest sponsor. We closed the deal earlier during our meeting.” 

“Mr. Taylor, I am so glad that we will have you around more from now on.”

“So am I, I am glad that I actually decided to go for my instinct and invest something in F1.”

“Absolutely.” 

A short minute after he asks

“Why are you still wearing a mask? Isn’t it bothering you?” 

“Oh no no, it does not. I am actually wearing it because I don’t want to catch any colds and lose my internship days.”

“I see. And where are you from? Mindy right?” By the questions he asks you are already sure that he is suspecting something

“Yes, I am from Boston, US and I ended up here as an intern from Daimler US.” you say and he answers “That’s really cool.” For the rest of the time you don’t interact, Toto isn’t involving in any of your talks and you know it’s because he fears that he’ll fuck this up more if he does. However, he still speaks to you and Marc separately and when he’s talking to Marc he shows off a little more confidence and certainty. It’s like he knows that he’s better than him, which he actually is and you’ve made it clear both that night in Monaco and yesterday after your dinner. The session finishes with the two red bulls on top, followed by the two Mercedes. “P3 and 4 isn’t bad but it’s not P1 and P2 either. I know we’re running similar engine mappings and we still need to be on top.” Toto says in his message to the mechanics.“I am sure we will be there by tomorrow.” you tell him “I should go grab some food because I haven’t eaten yet. I am sure I will see you around Mr. Taylor.” 

“I believe so.” 

“Marc and I are going to talk a little more and he’ll be off in a while. Talk to you later?” Toto says and winks on you while Marc is on his phone “Of course Mr Wolff. See you later.” you tell him and get back at the hospitality center where you get some food which you take to Toto’s office. You unlock the door with the set of keys he has given you and you set your tray at the table beside his office. You lock the door as you stay inside in order to surprise him. After some time you can hear footsteps approaching and the door handle moves but the door doesn’t open“Oh it is locked.” you can hear Toto say and the next thing you can hear is his keys on the lock. He opens the door and just as he enters the office you speak “I thought we should have brunch together.” The man who enters the room stops dead in his tracks. Of fucking course it’s Marc, followed by Toto who is gesturing something to someone in the hallway. Toto stops and looks at you. Marc speaks first “Horner, what are you doing there?” he asks “Shush Taylor, they’re going to hear you.”  

“Why are you sitting in Toto’s office dressed in Merc gear?” 

“Ummm” you say and you pause to think “F1 made us have team principal meetings like this in order to boost our relationship” you tell him, not a good excuse. In fact it’s a terrible excuse. “What kind of bullshit do you think you’re selling to me?” Marc asks. Toto is just behind him shaking his head “There’s no point in trying to lie to him.” 

“Isn’t there?” you ask and at the same time Marc is taking a look at you. “You’re Mindy? I figured something was wrong here.” 

“Look, I need you to shut your mouth about this. No one can know.” 

“Why are you here in the first place?” he asks “Christian shut her out of the team for an unknown period of time and she wanted to have access to the paddock without paying herself.” Toto says. “Why didn’t you ask Franz to take you in his team for a while?”

“Because I didn’t want Christian involved in anything.”

“So you two guys had a fight? And what about Mercedes Toto, how is the team going to be safe with all of this.” 

Toto tries to explain the situation to Marc “She has already signed NDAs about the team, and I wouldn’t even take her in if i didn’t trust her.” You take a deep breath and Toto understands the position you are in so he decides to leave you and Marc alone for a second “Should I go fetch us something to drink?” 

“Yes please.” you tell him

“Why did you end up out of the team in the first place?” 

“I was late to a business meeting. You know how Christian is with them.” 

“And he threw you out. How long has this been going on ?” 

“Not long ago, the GP in Jeddah was my first one with Merc.” you say. Marc stays quiet for a while and his eyes spark with realization a minute or two later. “Oh god, it’s him, isn’t he?” 

“What?” you ask him. “The guy you’re heads over heels with? The situationship man! That’s why he’s the one you turned to for the paddock access and that’s why he gave it to you. You two are dating right?”

“Well yeah, it is him but I told you before, no one can know okay?” 

“Of course. How long have you been together?” 

“We are not together yet, we are just spending time.”

“Yeah right and he took you in his team because he’s just spending time with you.” he tells you and you laugh “I might not know him for a long time but I can tell who I am making deals with. He’s a very direct guy.” 

“I know he is.” 

“If it’s not me, he’s the next best option.” 

“That’s what I’ve been saying since this has been happening.” 

“I am happy for you, really.” 

“Thank you Marc.” you tell him.  Later on Toto comes back with your drinks and the three of you discuss for sometime. Later on and only after you’ve completed your duties for the day you wave Toto and Marc goodbye and go back to your hotel. You sit in your room, have an extra long video call with Sara in which you tell her everything about today and all the days you’ve been missing from Monaco and she texts you a photo from her balcony in Monaco which you post in your official instagram story in order to make everyone believe that you are actually there and not in Azerbaijan. You watch a bunch of drive to survive episodes to prepare for your upcoming interviews and then take a long relaxing shower. Before you even realize it is time for dinner and just as you were thinking of it you get a text 

Wolff

Are you coming over for dinner?

You 

Nah, I am actually thinking that maybe I should get some rest before tomorrow. I will be ordering something here instead

Wolff

Okay. I hope you are alright 

You 

Yes, all good but I would like to be excluded from tomorrow’s practice session. Only if I am not needed that is

Wolff

You are always needed but you are always working hard and think you deserve to have the session off

You

Thank you Toto, I won’t forget that ;)

Wolff 

I hope you won’t 

After your chat with Toto you decide to order some dinner in your room and after that you spend some time on your socials before going to bed. The next day you wake up early as you hear someone knocking at your door. Well, it’s not just someone, in fact, it is Lewis who is at your door and right by his side is his best friend, Roscoe. You were expecting them since Lewis told you he would bring Roscoe over to your suite before hitting the track for FP3 and now you are supposed to take care of him and bring him back to the paddock just before qualifying, when Angela will take over from you. “Good Morning. Were you sleeping?”

“I was yeah but I was planning to wake up either way.”

“This is my good boy Roscoe” he says and he kneels and pats his back “Good boy” he says. “He is adorable.” you tell him and you also kneel to pet him. “He might be a little shy at first, he just wants a lot of cuddling and playing. I am sure he will love you though.” 

“I hope he will, we will have to spend some time together before Miami.” 

“Toto mentioned that you didn’t want to come, did  you decide otherwise?” 

“I did yeah, we are planning to come on Friday so Roscoe will be there by then. When are you flying from New York?” 

“Thursday morning, I have media duties, I am not like you.” he laughs

“Well, I am not going to the Met either so I guess we are even.”

“Yeah right. Am I going to see you at qualifying?” 

“Of course, I plan on coming, I will bring Roscoe to you later.” 

“Good, see you then I guess.” 

“Bye Lewis.” you say as you wave him goodbye.  Roscoe and you enter your suite and you can see him running in his tiny feet trying to take in the space around him. You decide to take a shower but you leave the door open and as soon as you come out of the tub you find Roscoe sitting there waiting for you. For the rest of the time you play with his favorite toy that Lewis left you and he lies on your side as you take a look at the morning news. When the time comes, you get ready and hit the track once again but this time with Roscoe Hamilton on your side. You can see photographers taking pictures of you but you remain completely calm as your face mask and your hair hide your real identity and enter the Mercedes hospitality. You drop Roscoe off to Lewis’ suite where Angela takes over, and text Toto who you can clearly see from the garage that you’re currently sitting in. Toto is just outside making statements to broadcasting channels and companies ahead of qualifying and you are sitting there on the right side of his chair waiting for him to come back as soon as the broadcast of qualifying begins. The session is pretty good for the team, meaning Mercedes and the drivers manage to get P2 and P3. Max is sitting in P1 for tomorrow’s start, a brilliant lap from him you think. “2nd and 3rd are pretty good positions.” Toto says. “The only thing that scares me is Max in P1.” 

“We’ve got him, the setup for the race will be even better, Mick has been running the data from the analysis the engineers made based on your comments on the simulator and we’ve seen impressive lap times. We’ll get this for sure.”

“I never doubted their skills, I am sure they can even make the Williams work.” 

“They are not doing miracles, they are just engineers.” Toto says and you laugh “They had some good guidance, we wouldn’t have found the exact setup if it wasn’t for you.” 

“It’s just Saturday though. We will see tomorrow.” 

“You’re right.” he tells you “About tonight, you don’t have any plans right?” 

“Except for laying in bed as soon as I get back and ordering dinner I don’t plan on doing anything else.” 

“Dinner and movie then?” he asks and you nod  “Hitting the track together ?” you ask and he blinks a couple of times. “How come?” 

“Well, won’t I be sleeping in your suite tonight?” 

“I am surprised that you’re even proposing that.” 

“Well if you don’t want to, I have plenty of space in my suite, I will be sleeping all alone again.” 

“Okay, dinner and sleepover in my suite for tonight.”

“Will you be doing press?” you ask.“Only for an hour or so, after that I need you with me in the post qualifying meeting with the mechanics.” he tells you. “Where?” you ask surprised. “I need someone to write some notes down for me during that meeting so I figured you would want to join.”

“But-” you hesitate and he interrupts you before you can finish up your sentence “I don’t have any issue with you, I fully trust you.”

“I know, you’ve been quite vocal about it.” 

“Well, best believe it. Also, you won’t be there just for note taking, you can partake to the whole meeting with your points or ideas” 

“You cannot be serious.” you tell him. “I am as serious as it gets Horner. Wait for me outside your office in an hour.” Toto says as he waves at you and disappears from your sight. After an hour you find him outside your office. Both of you attend the post-quali meeting where you participate with a lot of questions about the performance of the car. At some point you also hear praise from Bono about the setup that you proposed. Well, he didn’t exactly give credit to you, since for him it’s nowhere near your job to give mechanical input about a car set up but he did say that whoever came up with the insights on the setup was a great help. The car was flying compared to the free practice yesterday. It turns out that you actually helped them and you now, more than ever, feel a part of a team that embraces you even if it isn’t directly said to your face. As soon as the meeting is done you and Toto go back to the hotel, wasting no time in the paddock. You get directly back to Toto’s suite where food is already served. The both of you eat and then you relax for a while on the couch

“I am so exhausted from today.” you tell him 

“Do you want to sleep?” he asks

“How about we watch a movie?” 

“You are going to sleep in the first 5 minutes” 

“I promise you I won’t” you tell him “Not if the movie is good anyways” 

“How about La La Land?” he asks and you look at him and burst into laughter. “You want to watch La La Land? Are you serious?” 

“I just happen to know that you love it.”

“Yeah but do you actually like it?” you ask. Toto clears his voice“Um, I haven’t watched it.” and you answer surprised “You cannot be serious.”

“I am. Whether you believe it or not, I don't watch such movies. Or any movies at all.”

“You are traveling 300 days out of 365 and you don’t watch movies? What do you do on the plane?”

“Read the news, sleep. It’s not that I don’t watch movies, it’s just that it is not on a regular basis.”

“I will make you a cinema fan, I swear. La La Land was game changing for me. That’s what we are going to watch. I don’t care if you don’t like musicals.” you say and you navigate in the TV menu to find the movie stream “Oh and by the way, if you haven’t watched Mamma Mia yet, I will get my ass off this suite and not talk to you until you watch it.”

“I have watched it and I can say that I actually liked it.”

“Aren’t you ashamed to say it Mr. Perfect Image?” you ask him. “Not to you. You clearly watch that kitsch fest that is Eurovision and love musicals so I am not the one to be ashamed here.” he says. “Hey!” you yell at him.“Just press play Horner.” he says and you follow his instructions. During the whole movie you can see he watches with pure interest, even during the songs which he doesn’t know he seems like he’s having fun. You are doing your part to keep him entertained, singing all the songs since this is probably your 50th rewatch. You make all the fun and smart remarks that you’ve seen on socials from other fans of the movie to keep him engaged. When the movie ends, during the epilogue scene and towards the end you can see him tensing, kind of trying to cover his emotions up. As the credits roll you turn to him.  “So? What do we think about one of the most amazing musicals made to this day?” 

“The ending” he says and pauses. “The ending what?” you ask him. “The ending was weird. Like it really made you believe that this could work but it actually was the ‘What could have been’ moment. It was kind of brutal.”

“Well, that was the intention. To show that two people had to let go of each other to achieve their dreams. It’s because they loved each other that they decided to do this. Now that I am thinking of it, it kind of is brutal, but it’s realistic. Life is brutal sometimes.”

“Do you analyze every movie that you see like this?” 

“Well, yeah? That’s the point of watching a movie, it’s not looking at beautiful pictures for three hours straight and then going to sleep.” 

“So you’re really passionate about it then.” 

“I am yeah.”

“It’s kind of nice that you find things that you really like and are so passionate about them” 

“You can also do it, you know. Being that one guy who’s obsessed with managing a team, finance and racing isn’t all you can ever be. You can have hobbies and other interests. I just think you are scared to break that flawless facade, which is funny because I genuinely believe that you are a man that is full of passion and you want to show it to people. You are afraid that if anyone outside of your safety bubble finds that you are human and not a well programmed robot that performs at its peak day in day out, your life will end. I know you try to be open about things that concern you and people around you, like how you’ve been speaking out about your mental health, but showing your real self can be hard for you but you should really try.” you tell him and he sits there just listening “How about we make this a thing? Movie night, once a week. Or more if you have more recommendations.”

“Am I about to turn you into a cinema noob?”

“Shut up.” he says and checks his watch that is resting on the arm of the couch you are currently sitting on. “How about going to sleep? We have to be at the paddock tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah sure.” you say and both of you walk off to the bedroom where you sleep until Toto’s alarm goes off. “Good Morning.” he says, his voice deeper than usual, with that sleep raspiness standing out “Hello.” you tell him and you can feel him shifting next to you“It’s race day” 

“I am aware. I have a really good feeling about today.”

“Hm” he says “Do you sense a win?” he asks and he plants a kiss on your cheek. You could get used to it. “I actually do. I feel like we are going to do well.” and you can almost hear him laughing “Who’s we?” he asks you. “Mercedes?” you tell him and he laughs, content that you actually consider his team yours by now.You lay still on the bed for a few more minutes, sitting in complete silence but you can feel the two of you debating whether or not you should get off the bed. You and Toto are too lazy to do anything but like always he’s the one who takes the initiative and moves. “Come on, get yourself ready. We have to be down at the paddock in 45 minutes.”

“I don’t need 45 minutes.”

“Oh you’re sure about that?” he asks. “Positive. You can time me if you want.” you reply.“Yes?” he asks. “Yea. But I am not going to race myself to get ready without breakfast first.” 

“I thought you were smart enough to figure out that we are always having breakfast at the track.” You don’t reply, you just sit and stare outside the window while Toto is using his phone. With his serious voice he says “Hey Siri, call Jasmine.” and then his phone starts dialing. It’s not after a minute that a female voice answers the phone. “Hello Jasmine, this is Toto, can I have my full breakfast order done and served in 45 minutes in my office?” he asks and waits for a few seconds. “I also want two servings of the same order, that in my office too, same time.” he says and you smile at the chat he’s having with his employee. “Also, it is really important that you find Mr Lord and let him know that I will not be available for the next 2 hours and I don’t want any distraction while I am in my office. Yes. Yes. Thank you Jasmine.” he says and he ends the call. “Now that you know breakfast is waiting, go get ready. Now.” 

“Is this an order?” 

“I am already counting.” he says and you run to get ready.You start running around his suite grabbing all of the things you need for race day as Toto sits on the couch scrolling on his phone while he gives you some glances. 15 minutes later you are ready to go, bag on your shoulder, shoes on. “I’m ready” you say standing and looking at him. “You are quick.” he says, still scrolling. “I am. We could go now, although you are not ready.” 

“It won't take more than 5 minutes.” 

“Really?” you ask “Yes. I just put my clothes on, get my iPad and my computer in my bag and I’m ready to go.”

“Oh I thought you needed time to get your face ready for cameras.”

“Nope, I’m all natural, the one who needs to get her face ready is you.”

“I didn’t do anything on my face except from washing it and applying some sunscreen. I am 100% natural today.”

“I see. Although you cannot convince me that when you were at Red Bull you took less than 35 minutes to get ready.”

“Well yeah I needed like half an hour to get my hair and make up done. I have to get camera ready every day. I was always late and Christian yelled at me so many times. Now no one sees me so it really doesn’t matter if I look like shit.”

“You don’t look like shit, you are great.” he tells you “Aw thanks.” you say and you drop your bag on the floor and sit next to Toto on the couch and give him a peck on his cheek. He turns and looks at you and kisses you right on the lips, instantly deepening the kiss laying you on the couch. You smile in that kiss and keep going, tangling your fingers on his hair, pulling him closer. He puts his hand under your waist and pulls you closer and you can already feel a burning desire. “How about we get back to bed?” he asks. “We have to go Toto” you manage to say between kisses.“I don’t want to leave.” he says. “We can miss the race to be honest.” you tell him. “Yes we can.” he tells you “But we won’t. Plus you’ve already ordered us your breakfast”

“You’re better.” he says and you scoff when you hear his words. “Oh god, behave Wolff” you tell him and you push him away teasingly. You walk away from him and he sits there, resting his head on the back of the couch trying to calm himself. “You got to get ready now” 

“Okay.” he says unwillingly and stands up and starts getting ready. Half an hour later you take the walk from the hotel to the paddock which has already begun getting flooded with people. Both you and Toto take your breakfast at his office and then you follow him around in his pre race routine, from fan zones to debriefs, to interviews and finally to the grid. You spot Christian and Max many times during your time there but Toto doesn’t say anything more than a Hello to both of them. You watch Max get ready to hop in the car in front of both Lewis and George and can’t help but feel a bit of anger that he is sitting on pole. You know Mercedes’ car is fast, it’s more deserving to be in P1 than Max. You know you have to work hard to bring them in P1 and P2, because the Red Bull is not slow either, you know the car from inside out, and you know it’s capable of winning. It’s only a race’s time. When it is time you manage to greet Lewis in a flurry of cameras, fans and engineers at the grid and head back to the Mercedes garage. As you head towards the entrance of the garage you hear your (fake) name being called and you turn to see Cynthia outside the Red Bull garage as she shouts good luck to you and you yell back at her, wishing her good luck. You take your place at the fantasy island and watch the race start. Max launches off perfectly, at the right time and Lewis and George get a little left behind. As the race goes on, Max is still in front of the two Mercedes drivers, who are actually closely following him. You keep watching fully focused on the telemetry screens in front of you, and listening to the talks between team members about pace and strategy. Not long after the race start, you see both cars overtaking the Red Bull and launching off into the distance. The cars are quite quick but Max keeps following them, in DRS range. The rest of the field stays back as the two black and the one blue car fight to get the first place. As soon as it is time for strategy calls you can hear the team agreeing on a double stack for the pit stops, and so it happens, but as it is normal, double stacks can’t always be flawless. George’s stop is perfectly timed and great in duration so that the undercut will be strong enough but on the other hand, Lewis who has been really unlucky with some shitty stops has it again. The front right tire doesn’t come off as quick and the stop lasts a whooping 5.6 seconds, which makes Lewis lose a track position to Max and a whole 2 seconds to him as well. Toto gets so frustrated with the stop that he smashes the desk like he always does and the race continues. Toto is all the time on the radio with the strategists and the mechanics and as a result he has no time to talk to you. Lewis is chasing Max but failing. Max is much quicker than he is and when he does reach him he is not able to make a move on him. The race finishes with George in 1st place, Max in 2nd and Lewis in 3rd.  As always Toto reaches and presses the button to congratulate George and you can see the message being broadcasted on TV. George happily replies and celebrates, thanking Toto and the team. And then Toto moves on to congratulate Lewis. Lewis is much less excited than George was. He just thanks Toto and the team and switches his radio off. You realize from the first minute of the broadcast that Lewis is kinda pissed off and disappointed.

“We won” Toto turns and tells you with a smile on his face.  “Lewis is disappointed I’m sure. But yeah at least George won.” you tell him. “I know Lewis will be disappointed. We let him down today, he’s not going to be glad. He did everything he could but still the car just couldn’t work to get past Max.”. “I am really hoping he will be alright.” 

“It’s Lewis, he’s always bigger than this. A title got stolen from him and he kept on going. I am sure he’s going to come out of this car, go to press and celebrate with us even though he might feel bitter about the third position.”

“Yeah, you probably know him better than I do.” you say and then Toto leaves you in the garage while he’s walking around the paddock talking to journalists, Sky Sports, F1 TV. Later on there’s indeed a celebration with the team for George’s win and Lewis’ podium and everyone gathers there. There’s the usual team picture and then the champagne celebrations which everyone tries to avoid but gets caught up to. After the whole thing winds down you find Lewis sitting outside the garage and you sit with him “Congrats for today!” you tell him trying to cheer him up “Uhh, I don’t know man, this isn’t my best result, but thanks either way.”

“Come on Lewis, you know you did the best you could, and it’s okay, I was in the garage next to Toto and right after that mistake he kept on trying and asking on how you could get past Max and even George but I guess the stars didn’t align for you today but for George.”

“I guess you’re right. I feel like I am overreacting but you know I have to keep my head up, nothing comes out of complaining.” Lewis says. “You just somehow became your own therapist and you overcame the whole thing in like 5 minutes. I hate you.” you tell him laughing. “I’ll teach you how to do it, it seems like you will need it when you leave us.” he says reminding you of your situation in Red Bull. “Definitely” you tell him and you sit there in silence for a while until Toto comes by you. “We’ve got to get going, we only got one and a half  hour before the jet leaves”.

“You’re leaving now?” Lewis asks and Toto nods but some mechanic comes to talk to him 

“Will Roscoe be joining us?” you ask. “About that, I will be flying with Valtteri and will drop him to Nice before flying to NYC. I was thinking about spending a little more time with Roscoe before dropping him off to you. Is it okay if Valtteri drops him by your place later on?” 

“Oh no problem, give him my number so that he can text me once you are in Nice.” 

“Great!”

“Lewis I really gotta get going, I have to pack my things back at the hotel before leaving.”

“Of course. I’ll see you in Miami. Take good care of Roscoe.”

“I will” you tell him and you wave him goodbye. After that you leave the track alone since Toto is still busy at the track. You go back to your suite and pack your things and with 45 minutes still left you take your phone and ring Toto. “Are you in your room?” you ask. “No, still at the track.” he says and you reply slightly surprised “Wait, what are you still doing on track?”

“I am having a discussion with Stefano about technical directives and he can’t stop talking.”

“Are you sure you’re going to make it? Are your stuff packed?” 

“No they are not, I thought I would have enough time to do it now but he thinks we are having a meeting.”

“Why don’t you tell him that you have to catch your flight?”

“Because he will propose that we fly together” he answers “I keep checking my watch but he doesn’t get the message”

“Oh then try to get out of this discussion asap.” 

“Will do. See you in a while” he says and he hangs up. You check your bag and you find Toto’s suite card so you decide to go to his suite and pack his suitcase. You take everything off the closet and start folding them and placing them in his carry on, take his shoes as well as his stuff from the bathroom and place them in the suitcase. Lastly you take all of the chargers and laptops and stuff them into his bag. You take a seat on his couch now both of your suitcases fully packed and ready to go but he’s nowhere to be found. 20 minutes before the time that you have to be in the airport your phone rings and his name pops up on the screen. You accept the call. “Hey” you say. You “We are not going to make it on time. I only just got to the hotel.” he says and you hear footsteps outside his door. “And? We still have 20 minutes.” 

“Everything is unpacked. We are going to be late.”  he replies and the door opens. He sees you sitting on the couch and ends the call. He walks in the hallway with a confused expression“What are you doing here?” he says and you point at the suitcase and bag left in the middle of the living room area. “I packed.” you tell him and you smile. At this very moment you see a very anxious but happy Toto walking towards you and placing a kiss on your head. “Thank you” he says. “I had time to kill, a spare key card and I figured you might be late so I thought why not. I hope that I packed them in the right way. Oh and make sure that I got everything.”

“It’s perfect, thanks.” he says and he takes a look around the suite, looking for things he might have forgotten. Five minutes later you are ready to go, you leave the hotel, you drive to the airport and get there 10 minutes late but still the jet is ready to go. You board, take the seat opposite to Toto and get as comfortable as you can, he takes a book out of his bag and places it on the table in front of you. You take off from Baku and you start feeling slightly worn out. “Sleepy?” he asks. “Is that so obvious?”

“Yes.” 

“It’s just that races wear me out so much. In Red Bull it was easier but now I literally spent twice as much energy because of the whole hiding thing.”

“I get what you mean, I can’t get through it without a cup or two of coffee” 

“It is funny because the race is during the afternoon but it still drains me” 

“You should sleep.” he tells you. “I won’t.” you tell him and he hums “So, tell me about the technical directives you were discussing with Stefano.” Toto starts explaining what he and Domenicalli were discussing along with some other team principals and you try really hard to follow what he was telling you. You were asking him questions but you felt your eyes burning “I will just close my eyes because they hurt but I will keep listening.” you tell him. “Sure” he says and he laughs. “Hey, I won’t sleep.” and he teases you “I bet you won’t.”. You close your eyes and you follow Toto’s voice, keep asking him questions and discussing until you are less and less conscious and fall completely asleep. Almost 4 hours after, you wake up, feeling the plane descending into lower altitudes. You feel surprisingly warm and open your eyes only to see Toto’s jacket all over you. You slept through the whole flight. You move slightly and Toto, who is sitting just opposite to you reading his book lifts his eyes from the book to you.“Glad to see you didn’t sleep.” he tells you  “Hey, don’t make fun of me!” 

“I love it when you know you are not right and still try to convince others that you are.” You roll your eyes at his comment and take a look outside the window. “Where are we?” 

“Almost in Nice, we will be landing in 20” 

“Cool. I can’t wait to sleep in my bed.” 

“You’re not coming over?” 

“No, I’ve had enough of you during the past days.”

“Right.” 

“How’s your book?” you ask. “It is good.” Toto says 

“I’ll read it after you.”

“I’ll be happy to lend it to you.” 

“Oh and if I like it I will need access to that Wolff Reading List.” 

“I don’t have a reading list.”

“Oh god what?”

“It is not a competition Horner, I read for my pleasure.” 

“So do I but I have a reading list. I read reviews and I sometimes write them anonymously.”  

“Well, I don’t give a shit about reviews, I read the synopsis and if I find it interesting I read it. I am sure some of my favorite books have the shittiest reviews but I don’t care.” he says. “Wow, you are stronger than I am. If a review isn’t good I won’t even start the book.”

“That’s some of the shit people of your generation do”

“Oh yes I keep forgetting that you are a boomer.” you joke “We are not going to discuss this again.” he says in a strict tone “Okay sir.” you mock him. “Fuck off, go back to sleep.” he says and he turns back to his book. “Thanks for the blanket by the way.” you say but he gives you no answer and you laugh. “Are you going to drive me back to Monaco?” you ask. “No you should call Marc” he says. “I hate you Wolff.” you tell him. “I hate you too.” he laughs. A short time after you land in Nice and contrary to what he said earlier, Toto orders for all of your baggage to be loaded to his car. You take the drive back to Monaco while discussing  paddock gossip which Toto repeats isn’t a thing he does but he happily participates in the whole discourse. Half an hour later you arrive at home, Toto parks the car in the garage and you get your bags out of the car and take the lift to your apartment. You hug him goodbye and go to your apartment where you instantly unpack and get comfortable and sit in your bedroom where you binge watch gossip girl until it is late enough and Valtteri is calling you to drop Roscoe off. You text him your details and 5 minutes later he’s knocking your door.  “Hi Valtteri.” you greet him. “Hi” he says shyly, holding Roscoe’s leash on his one hand and a bag with Roscoe’s food and toys

“Lewis told me to drop those off. Including Roscoe.” 

“I will be taking care of him while Lewis is in New York For the Met Gala.”

“Oh yeah, I would take care of him but Tif and I have to go to a bike competition in France”

“Don’t worry, I will take care of him instead. Good to see you, did you have a nice flight?”

“Yes, it was pretty decent, you know how it is when traveling in private.”

“Yeah definitely.” you tell him. “We missed you in F1, when are you coming back?” he says and for a moment you freeze before you register that you supposingly weren’t in Baku this weekend. “I missed you guys too. I don’t know when I am coming back yet, I am still adapting to my new life here in Monaco.”

“You are right, we will be happy to see you back.” 

“Thank you for dropping Roscoe off for me”

“You’re welcome.” 

“Good luck for your competition.”

“Thanks, goodnight!” Valtteri says and leaves you with Roscoe.

Roscoe gets in and moves around the apartment trying to get used to it. You play a bit with him but at some point you are too tired and get to bed where Roscoe joins you and curls next to your feet and falls asleep. You do the same for the night. The next day you wake up in your new home, register the fact that now you have to take care of Roscoe. You take him out for his morning walk and you go back home where you decide to text Sara once again. 

You

I am back in Monaco. Are you up for some coffee?

Sara

Oh welcome back! Of course I am up for coffee. Your place or mine?

You 

Cafe de Paris in an hour?

Sara

Omg sounds perfect. Gotta go get ready.

You 

I will be bringing Roscoe over too

Sara

God I love this dog. Of course bring him over, the dog is a socialite

You shut your phone and start getting ready, dressing up appropriately for the Cafe de Paris. You feed Roscoe and get him ready and after an hour you are sitting in Cafe de Paris with Sara. You both enjoy your drinks while the bulldog is sitting by your side and you keep gossiping about people you know. Sara spills her work gossip and you keep discussing different bullshit. Time goes by and both of you get hungry so you propose cooking dinner at your place. You and Sara get back home and you start cooking a risotto while she drinks wine and you tell her all the paddock gossip. “So turns out Christian hired that bitch who was hooking up with Toto.”

“He did what?” 

“Yeah, he hired her during my first week off the team.”

“Oh my gosh. I might sound a bit harsh but don’t you think that your dad is a bit problematic?” Sara asks “I’ve been thinking that since I officially joined the team, S. I just don’t understand his logic” you say and you hear your phone ringing. When you check you see Christian’s face popping up.“Speak of the devil”.

“Hey dad” you say 

“What are you doing?” 

“I’m good you?”

“No, I mean, what are you doing outside with Hamilton’s dog?”

“Oh Roscoe? Lewis is flying to the Met Gala and he wants someone to take care of his dog.”

“And you suddenly became best friends with Hamilton that he trusts you with his dog? You have the audacity to walk him in Monaco’s most crowded places? There are pictures all over the internet.”

“I think you are overreacting.” you tell him 

“How did the dog end up in your hands? Were you in Baku yesterday?” 

“What the fuck dad? I was in Monaco, I had Valtteri drop him off.”

“Are you teaming up with them? Do you think it’s going to make me change my mind and take you back?” 

“Look, I have a risotto cooking up on my stove and I do not plan on burning this place down, so let me get it straight for you. I am just taking care of a dog that for some reason triggers you in a way that nothing ever has. I am doing a favor to a friend. Nothing to piss you off. I don’t know why you think everyone is constantly plotting against you but the reality is that we are not. Take a chill pill and get used to seeing pictures of me with Roscoe until Lewis takes him back. And for fuck’s shake, let me live my life.” you say and you turn off the call. “What was that about?” Sara asks. “There are pictures of us and Roscoe from today and Christian was pissed because of a freaking dog.” 

“Oh then you were right to speak to him like that” 

“Thanks” you say. As soon as the food is ready you and Sara enjoy your lunch at your balcony with a sea view and after a couple of hours she leaves you alone. You clean up the kitchen, do the dishes and get changed to a tracksuit and a pair of sneakers for Roscoe’s night walk. You enjoy a walk along the coast of Monte Carlo and later on you come back to your building. To your surprise you see Toto just outside, dressed in a suit while waiting for his car. “Hi” you tell him. “Hello. Out for a walk I see?” he asks. “Yes, Roscoe needed his night walk.” you say as Roscoe approaches him. Toto instantly takes two steps backwards looking at the bulldog “Where are you off to?” you ask. “I’m going to a business meeting.” you are interested about his day “With a sponsor ?” and he replies giving you all the information you ask for “No, it’s for one of my finance jobs.” 

“I see.” you say and you spot someone with a phone pointing to you two “We are being videotaped”

“It’s been a while since we’ve last seen you in the paddock miss Horner” he says “Oh yeah, I’ve been having some time off that’s why.”

“I’ve heard the rumors, met your substitute as well. When do you think you’re coming back ?” 

“I haven’t decided yet, I am still recharging to be honest.” 

“Good thing to do. Take your time” 

“Thank you Mr. Wolff, take care.” you tell him and leave him to go back to your apartment. You take Roscoe off his leash and he slowly walks to his bed where he falls asleep. You lay on your couch and check your socials. It’s the first Monday of May and your timelines have already been flooded with Met Gala content, from the setting of the red carpet to some of the celebrities and acquaintances getting ready for the event. You promised Lewis that you will stay awake to see him on the red carpet and for this reason you decide to take a nap. It’s not that late but since you have to wait for Lewis until later that night you chose to kill some time this way so you drift off to a sweet nap. In the middle of your sleep you hear the doorbell ringing and you walk half asleep to the door where you check through the peephole to see who it is and you see the one tall austrian outside your door dressed with the same clothes as earlier. You open the door and you let him in.“What are you doing here?” you tell him, voice sounding a bit hoarse so Toto gets the hint. “Have you been sleeping? Did I wake you up?” he asks a little worried, “Ummm, you kinda did” you tell him, “Oh sorry, I should go then, let you rest.” 

“I was going to wake up anyway.  I promised Lewis I will watch him on the red carpet today.” you tell him and he asks “What is it today?”. You laugh with his ignorance “Oh god we are never going to get an invite if you keep asking those questions.”

“Why do we need an invitation for this?”

“It’s one of the most exciting nights of the year Toto, the Met Gala, every relatable celebrity dresses up in custom designer pieces that match to a theme and they have a dinner or something.” 

“Prom for rich people?” 

“Kinda. I am surprised you aren’t aware of it, since Lewis has been going during the past 3-4 years if I’m not mistaken.”

“Pop culture isn’t my thing.” he says while he takes off his jacket and hangs it on a chair nearby. “I can see it” you reply. Toto joins you on the couch, he sits on the side, takes off his shoes and unbuttons the top button of his shirt. You grab your computer and sit close to him. You open the TV and you play the Vogue Livestream of the event while Toto sits bored next to you switching his gaze from the television to the ceiling, to your laptop, to you and then back to the television. As you are watching the event, Toto stands up and takes a look at your bookshelf and he picks a book which he starts reading while you are too busy waiting for Lewis. Toto speed reads the book as you text Lewis asking him to let you know when he will be joining the red carpet. At some point you distinctively hear Roscoe’s paws on the floor as he runs to the living room. He sits just below your feet which you have laid on the coffee table while Toto is laying on the long side of the couch. Roscoe takes a look at you and then at Toto, both of you too far absorbed to be paying attention to him and for this reason the poor dog decides to make you pay attention to him.  Roscoe starts barking and in a fraction of a second, Toto slams his book close and starts backing up and climbing on the back of the couch. When you notice him you burst out laughing. You should have been aware that Toto is afraid of Roscoe, that’s why he was skeptical about having the dog in the same place as him during a transatlantic flight. It seems so hilarious to you that a grown ass man such as Toto is afraid of an old bulldog, mainly because Toto is who he is. The intimidating boss, the scary rival. You immediately grab your phone and start recording. “Lewis, I know you’re in line for the red carpet and you probably won’t see this until tomorrow but you have to see this.” you say as you record yourself and then turn the rear camera on. “I don’t know if you are aware of it but it seems like Mr. Wolff here is afraid of your dog.” you say as you see Toto on the back of the couch and Roscoe staring at him. “Hey! It’s not funny, please get him to leave!” he says and just as he completes his sentence Roscoe continues barking at him, Toto’s expression is essentially pure panic at this point but you continue laughing. You know Roscoe just wants to play with him but he is not very much aware of it. “Please just stop recording and get him out of here” he says again, you are still recording. “He’s not going to hurt you” you tell him, “You don’t know it” Toto replies. “Okay Lew, I have to take care of this, we are still waiting for you here” you say and you show the Vogue Livestream on your TV “Have fun!”  you say and you stop recording, sending the video to Lewis. After that you leave your phone down, you grab Roscoe and bring him by your side, far from Toto, who seems like he lost 5 years of his life. The dog lays on the couch as you rub his belly and he seems happy. “See, that’s what he wanted. Just a bit of attention and love.” you tell him “Well, if he wanted that he shouldn't have barked at me. I was scared to death” 

“Toto Wolff is afraid of dogs.” you say “I am. You cannot imagine how many times I’ve managed to avoid any interaction with this dog during the past 8 years.”

“I was just wondering how Lewis didn’t have any idea of this.”

“Oh, did you send the video? Did I make a fool of myself on Lewis as well?”

“No, that’s not making a fool of yourself, that’s adorable” 

“Until Lewis posts it on his socials” 

“He won’t” you say 

“You don’t know Lewis, he loves making fun of me every chance he gets”

“I mean sometimes you’re hilarious so he’s right, you shouldn’t be angry.” you tell him 

“Most of the time I’m not actually angry, I am just acting like I am to make him feel bad” 

“You are crazy” you tell him and you turn to catch a glimpse of the screen when you see Lewis coming up the red carpet. “Oh there he goes!” you say and Toto turns his attention to the screen and so does Roscoe once he realizes that his dad is on the tv. “That’s a daring outfit.” Toto comments as he watches Lewis posing on the red carpet. “Oh you suddenly have an opinion on fashion?” 

“Why shouldn’t I? You think you’re the only one with a fashion sense?”

“Darling, at least I have more than 3 outfits in my wardrobe” you tell him and he rolls his eyes. He knows you’re right but he still focuses on the television. You see Roscoe staring at the screen and you snap a photo which you post on your instagram stories right after lewis leaves the red carpet. “Did we just sit here to watch Lewis pose on the red carpet for 3 minutes?” 

“No, I am hoping he will be back for an interview shortly after.” you say and he nods, going back to the last page of the book he was reading and 5 minutes later Lewis comes on the screen again and both of you watch the interview ss

“You’re an expert on this aren’t you?” he asks “I have been watching for the past 10 years, Toto. Plus, they do love Lewis a lot, it was almost certain that they would give him the interview.”

“They do seem to have a preference for Lewis though.” he says 

“The truth is, as much as Max is supposedly my friend, he’s not that relevant out of our little world.” 

“How can you do that?” 

“Do what?” 

“Hang out with him”

“Look, he isn’t as much of a dick as he seems, he’s actually a pretty decent company and he’s a kind soul but only if you are close to him and that’s why he comes off as an asshole to everyone else.” you say and you yawn. “Sleepy?” he asks

“Yeah, I am starting to get tired. Are you going to stay?” 

“I would but Roscoe will be here.”

“He can sleep in the guest room, please stay?”

“I will, although I have a meeting tomorrow morning. I’ll just wake up early.”

“Okay” you tell him and you stand up taking Roscoe in your arms “Wanna pet him?” you ask. “Only because you’re holding him” he says as he pets Roscoe who’s now sleepy. You leave your living room and head towards the guest room where you leave the dog, closing the door behind you. By the time you are out the door you see that the living room is already empty and you head to your room where Toto is already laying in your bed. You change into your pajamas and climb in your bed where you fall asleep. The next day you wake up and as Toto said, he has already left for his meeting. You check your phone and you see several texts, the first one from Toto reads a simple Text me when you wake up. The second one is from Marc, saying Parties ahead of the Cannes film festival are just starting, thought it would be nice for us to be seen together, to silence people about our whereabouts. Only as friends though. Accommodation in my yacht. Tristan will be here, bring Sara as well. RSVP. You give it a thought, thinking about how Christian made a scene about Roscoe, and how he asked you where you were. You text Toto first, to make sure it won’t be a problem. 

Woke up just fine although i would have liked you to be here and not in that stupid meeting of yours. Also, Marc just sent me an invitation about a party tomorrow and I think maybe I should go, do some pr job, give people something to talk about

Toto 

You should go just don’t get too wild

You 

I won’t,besides Sara will be probably coming as well.But the thing is it will be in Cannes, but I’ll make sure to be back to Nice on time for the flight

Toto 

No problem

You leave your phone on dnd and continue your tasks for the day, doing some light cleaning on your apartment when the doorbell rings. You open the door and you find a donut and a cup left on your doormat, the cup has a note on "Sorry for not being here for breakfast, consider this as my not so homemade breakfast." You smile and shut the door, immediately texting Sara, inviting her over for coffee and gossip. Once she comes over you share the news on the party for which she agrees immediately and she proposes a shopping spree for the party. You agree with her and shortly after you are off to the shops where you try on different outfits, occasionally texting Toto for his opinion on some of the outfits. At the end of the day, Sara ends up with 4 or 5 bags from the shops and you buy one simple black  dress  from Sandro to wear for the event. You grab a drink at the Blue Gin and you head back home where you pack your bags both for the party at Cannes and for the trip to Miami. Before you get back to bed you receive a text from Marc.

Marc Taylor

I will be waiting for you tomorrow morning for our trip to Cannes

You 

Where will we find you?

Marc Taylor

At the marina, we will be using my yacht obviously

You 

We will be there @ 10:30. Should we bring coffee?

Marc Taylor

We have a barista on board. Just get your bags. 

The next day you wake up, dressing up with a maxi sundress suitable for the yacht trip. You later meet Sara and her driver drops you off at the Monaco marina, right outside Marc’s yacht. You get on board as members of Marc’s staff get your bags on the yacht and into your rooms. You follow Marc straight ahead and join him and Tristan on the deck. You can see people with cameras taking pictures of you from the marina and you play along. You do want paparazzi to see where you are and who you are with, you are confident that they will be running the story before the party today. You greet Tristan and walk the deck, taking the sun in and gazing into the mediterranean. Sara snaps some pictures of you and then the yacht leaves Monaco and sails to Cannes.  “What time does the party start?” you ask,"At 8 I believe.” Tristan replies, “We have to start getting ready as soon as we arrive there” Sara tells you 

“We will arrive in Cannes in an hour, you will be needing 6 hours to get ready?” 

“Haven’t you met Horner? She takes at least two hours to get ready for a day at the paddock, you think she will be getting ready in sooner than 5 hours for a party in Cannes?” Sara answers and you laugh. As you sail to Cannes, the four of you sit on the deck sipping champagne and gossiping about old acquaintances of yours until one hour later you arrive and you dock at the marina. Tristan and Marc go out for a walk and you and Sara stay on board to relax and get settled to your rooms. You leave Sara in her cabin and you relax outside on the deck. You snap a photo and post it on your stories and then start reading your book until you start getting ready, while listening to music. Tristan and Marc come an hour later and Tristan waves at you. You take your headphones off. “There’s someone that has a package for you outside”

“What package?”

“It’s an order from a fashion brand I think. They said you made the order from Monaco and sent it here”

“Oh yeah that” you say “Marc can you please get this for me?”

“Of course” Marc replies and leaves you behind with Tristan. “What are you reading?” he asks, “The Goldfinch” you tell him.

“Oh I heard it’s nice.” 

“It is really good, I’ll give it to you when I finish it”

“Great! Um, by the way, have you seen Sara?” 

“She’s in her cabin, probably planning today’s look. She doesn’t wake up looking as good as you see her.”

“Bet she looks even better when she wakes up” Tristan says and you burst out laughing.“You really like her don’t you?” you ask 

“I do. Not as much as Marc likes you though.” 

“Tristan, Marc and I have already discussed this.”

“You know he’s still trying though” he tells you but he stops talking as he sees Marc coming up to the yacht. “This is your package Miss.” says Marc and kneels in front of you showing you the box.“Thank you mr. Taylor” you tell him “I gotta go try it on and plan my look for today, see ya later losers.”. You walk away from Marc and Tristan and into your cabin where you untie the black bow on top of the box and open it to reveal a green silk dress and in the box, a black handwritten card, a handwriting you recognize."Yesterday night I was watching Succession, saw this dress on Shiv and thought it would look nice on you. Bis Bald.". You smile in disbelief and try the dress on and you manage to fish out your emerald Manolo shoes which perfectly fit the color of the dress. You decide to wear this to the party instead of your new bought Sandro dress and you undress since lunch is about to be served. After your meal you return to your room, and start getting ready. You take a shower, use a face mask and then fix your hair in a low bun chignon. You apply some light makeup and some jewelry for the party. When you get out of your cabin you see Marc and Tristan in their party suits. “Wow Horner” says Tristan but Marc just sits there staring at you. “We should try to snap some pictures until Sara is ready” he says again and pushes both you and Marc at the front of the yacht where he takes pictures of you both with your phone and your polaroid camera but his phone rings so Marc becomes your photographer for the moment. “You look stunning, the color is amazing.”

“Thanks” you say and you keep posing. 

When the whole photoshoot is done you check your pictures and decide to post one of them on your story but first you want to check that everything is okay from Toto’s side 

You 

[Sent 2 photos]

Your wish is my command. The dress is perfect. Tristan and Marc were stunned

Wolff

I knew as soon as I saw it that it would be a perfect fit. Glad they liked it. Hope Marc keeps his hands to himself though

You 

He will! About that, is it okay if I post the picture of me and him ? 

Wolff

Everyone is going to talk about you two being a couple so why not feed the story to them? It’s okay by me after all ,at the end of the day only I know that you will be sleeping in my bed for the weekend 

20 minutes later Tristan is already yelling at Sara to hurry up and when she does show up at the deck she sees you and stares at you. “Horner!????? What are you wearing?” she asks “You look stunning but bestie this wasn’t the plan was it?” You approach her and you whisper to her ear “It was a surprise gift I couldn’t say no to”. She scoffs. “And he won’t even bring me flowers” she says as she points at Tristan. A couple of photos later the four of you are off to the party. At the party there are a lot more photos, dancing, drinking, mingling and socializing. Everyone is enjoying the wonderful night including Sara, Marc and Tristan. You get lost in a discussion with some movie producer who happens to be at the party and at some point you see Marc approaching you along with a blonde woman, which you happen to know. “Horner!” Marc says as you greet the producer “Marc, I lost you an hour ago, where were you?” 

“With this badass. I am not sure you’ve two met but, this is Francesca Scorcese” 

“Taylor, I’ve met Horner before. You always forget nepo babies always know each other” 

“Absolutely” you say “What have you been up to since I last saw you?” you ask. The three of you start discussing and later on partying. Late at night the party starts drifting off and your quartet returns happily to the yacht. You gather all the pictures from today, making sure there’s enough you and Marc on them so that people will start believing that you are in a relationship. You post them on your instagram captioning them as “What were your favorite nepo babies up to ?”  and you shut your phone before falling asleep. The next morning you wake up and make sure everything is packed. Sara’s sister who happens to have a job in Nice and was taking care of Roscoe in the meantime comes and picks you up from Cannes and drives you to the airport where you finally meet Toto. “Morning!” you tell him and give him a little hug. You are already in incognito mode so you’re making sure no one is watching you. “Hello. How was your party night?” 

“We had a lot of fun actually. You know how our events are? Not even close to that”

“At least on those events we get to be at the same place.” 

“But as long as I can remember the only thing we’ve managed to do was fight” you tell him “Thanks for the dress again. Everyone was impressed” 

“That is for you telling me that I don’t have any fashion sense.” he teases you “Mr Wolff, it is time to board.” the lady at the gate says. You take your stuff, carrying Roscoe in his cage as well and you board the jet. You get comfortable and get Roscoe out of his cage but you hold him on your lap, making sure that he won’t get close to Toto. The plane takes off and you drift off to sleep as the lack of sleep from your party night becomes apparent. After 3 hours you open your eyes and look out the window as you are flying mid Atlantic. It takes a minute before you realize that Roscoe isn’t on your lap anymore and you take a glance around you and you see the bulldog sleeping on Toto’s lap. You laugh at the sight, thinking how some days before Toto was afraid to death and how now he peacefully sleeps with him. You snap two or three photos and send one of them to Lewis. 

You 

[Photo]

Character growth! We are on our way to Miami. See you there 

Lewis Hamilton 

That is insane. Ah man, can’t wait to tease Toto for all of this. Thanks for the content, Horner. See you at the track!

Shortly after you drift back to sleep and you only wake up when you feel the ground below you shaking. You open your eyes and look out of the window again to see the airport of Miami. You don’t register that you have finally arrived until you hear “Miss Horner, Mister Wolff, Welcome to Miami”. Toto looks around and tells you “Let’s see what this race week brings us” and you nod, mentally preparing yourself for another week at the F1 circus. 

[romanoffs-widow]

Sorry for everything

Sum: Nat takes out her anger on you after a stressful couple of weeks.

Warnings ⚠️ : Shouting, arguing, and split up?

A/N: Thank you very much to @bobisek96 for requesting this fic, I hope it's okay 😭 and tysm to everyone for all the love on my (not actually first) first fic! I appreciate you all sm ❤️

(I promise there is eventual fluff 😅)

Happy reading! 😊

NATASHA POV:

Everyone thinks being an Avenger is so easy. All you gotta do is a couple of fights and interviews, and that's it, right? Wrong. These last couple of weeks have had me exhausted and honestly drained.

Steve and Tony keep arguing about useless crap, Lena accidentally stained the couch with red wine and didn't even tell me, so I sat in it and stained my favourite sweatpants and I've had to do 6 different interviews because Tony had a cold and couldn't do them, and on top of all that, Morgan has clung to me like a magnet since her dad has been sick. I love kids, and I really do, but not when I'm exhausted and keep having nightmares, leaving me sleepless almost every other night.

"Hey Natty," she says with that smile I love so much. I don't know what it is, but even y/n/n can't cheer me up today. Too tired to respond, I just give her a nod. Hopefully, she can see I don't want to talk right now.

I went to change into comfier clothes. I feel a pair of hands wrap around my waist. I shrug her off, getting annoyed. "Are you okay, baby?" I roll my eyes as I put my top over my head. "I'm fine." Maybe now she'll get it? "You know if you don't want to talk to me, just say." She says it with a tone that tips me ove rather edge.

"You know what? Maybe I don't want to talk to you. Maybe all I want to do is lay down in our bed and try my very best to relax! I have had such a hard couple weeks, and all you do is bug me because you're a pathetic childish wench that wants my attention all the time! If you knew what I go through every single day as an Avenger, maybe you'd at least try to understand how hard my job is! So please just shut your whiny mouth up and get out. I don't want to see your face EVER AGAIN!"

Y/N POV:

My vision is beyond blurry as I feel the endless stream of tears rolling down my cheeks. My hands are shaking, and anxiety is sitting heavy on top of my chest. "Alright. O-okay." I get up, and without saying anymore, I grab my backpack and start shoving a bunch of clothing into it. I go into the bathroom and grab my toothbrush, as well as the other necessities that belonged to me.

With my bag and arms full with items, I give the redhead one last look. Her face is still red from all the shouting she did as she stared at the floor, in the same spot she'd been in for a couple of minutes. I give her a small nod, sniffling as I close the door. I am fully aware the whole compound heard all of that, and honestly, they should. I don't deserve to be treated like that.

I'm going to miss this place. The past 9 years of my life have been spent living here, getting to know all of the amazing people within. I had so many memories here, one of the first being when Morgan was born. She had a head full of hair and a smile that looked just like her fathers'.

As I walked out of the tower, I went to the first person I could think of. Wanda Maximoff, my best friend of 5 years. She does live in the compound, but she also owns an apartment on the other side of the city for emergencies. She gave me a spare key when she got it. Thankfully, I'd never used it before, so I'd never seen the interior of the four walls.

Memories, good and bad swirls around in my head, as I twist the bronze key into the lock. It took me an hour to get here, with the bus and all. I get settled in, as I know I'll be staying here for a while. I started getting myself a snack when I heard the door swing open. I look at it to see the red magic I'd come to know very well.

"Y/n/n honey? Are you in here?" As soon as I hear her voice, I run over to her, the flow of tears starting up again. "Oh my god, are you okay? She didn't hurt you, did she?" I shake my head, unable to speak. "Oh, my poor baby. I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner. Everyone is out looking for you. I'd better call Pietro and tell him to tell everyone you're safe."

I just hug her tighter. "E-e-even...?" She looks at me with guilt in her eyes. "We all heard what she said to you, and F.R.I.D.A.Y said that you'd left, so we all went looking for you. None of us have heard from her since." By now, I've soaked her hoodie with my never-ending tears.

"Shhhh, it's okay, you're okay." Wanda whispers as she rubs my back to calm me down.

1 MONTH LATER...

I hear a knock at the door. Wanda only left, and she had her own key, so it definitely wasn't her, and i haven't ordered any packages. Deciding i dont care, I go to open it. I see nothing but a white teddy bear holding an envelope sitting on the welcome mat. There is no sign of anyone being here, as the halls are silent. I pick up the toy and bring it inside, closing the door. I go and put it on the counter, taking the red letter from its paws. It had my first initial on the front.

Our place, 2 pm?

- N xx

I roll my eyes. Even if I was very upset with her, she always knew how to make me smile. I check the clock, seeing it's already 1pm, so I decide to start getting ready.

I step into the shop and immediately see Natasha. As I get closer, I can see that she has bags under her eyes, and I see that her knuckles are all red and sore. She's probably been training to get her mind off us. "Hey," She goes to hug me, and I let her. "Hi." She ordered both our favourite drinks.

"How have you been?" I scoff. "What kind of a question is that? My girlfriend of 9 years kicked me out because she was having a rough couple of weeks and hasn't even bothered talking to me for a whole month, and you think I'm okay?" She looks down with guilt filled eyes. "...no. Sorry."

I sip from my cup. "Are you gonna give me some pathetic excuse as for why you made me leave like that, or what?" She nods her head, and takes a Depp breath.

"What I said was really messed up. I shouldn't have called you any of those rude names or said any of that to you. I was having a hard couple of weeks, and I just wanted some quiet. Which I got. But by all means, that's no excuse to take my anger out on you. I don't know if you even want to talk to me anymore after what I did, and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness or anything remotely close but I really am sorry y/n/n. These past 9 years have meant so much to me, and I don't want them to go down the drain because of my stupid actions."

She pauses for a while. Waiting for me to give her some sort of response. "Thank you. I'm sorry for bothering you so much, but it would be very helpful if you communicated how you feel to me, so I know when you need space. I haven't forgiven you. That's going to take a long time, but if you're willing to work on this, so am I. Okay?" She puts her hand on top of mine. "Okay."

6 MONTHS LATER...

Everything had been going actually quite well with y/n, and I. I've been working on my communication, and she's been helping me to recognise when I feel like I need space. She's moved back into the compound, and as of recently, she's started staying in our room again.

"Hey baby." I forgot how much I love her voice. "Hi malysh. Cuddles?" She nods her head and wraps herself around me on the couch. We quickly get sucked into our newfound favourite show, Greys Anatomy. "Meredith really is gorgeous, but not as gorgeous as you!" I say as I give her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm nothing compared to McDreamy." I laugh, knowing she loves Derek too much.

"Sorry...for everything." She turns to look at me with her eyebrows furrowed, abandoning our show. "I know. It's okay." She adjusts herself so she can kiss my lips. "I love you." She snuggled back onto me, sucking back into the show.

[calcifugous]

Things what I have learnt as a baby witch

As a baby witch who has recently became more spiritually connected and grown as a pagan, i want to give out advice what I have learnt over the 2 years of doing witchcraft.

1) Don’t jump straight into the deep end

Never jump into the deep end by doing spell’s straight away, witchcraft isn’t some aesthetic cutesy thing, it can be serious, jumping into spells without having no idea what you are doing can be extremely dangerous.

Ideally, you want to ease yourself into it, by doing research, yes the word research can be daunting but it will help you in the long run. Research on what witchcraft is, get an overall understanding what its about, find out the pagans holidays, pagans new year, and so much more!

If you have no idea where to start I highly recommend buying this book - ‘Wicca For Beginners’ by Frank Bawdoe

The book explains the introduction of the basic Wiccan religion including Wiccan beliefs, a brief history of Wiccan Religion, and their traditions. How to practice Wiccan Religion, the benefits of witchcraft and so much more.

2) Never buy your own tarot deck

this is very important so please take note and to remember! Never! buy your own tarot card decks, in witchcraft, it is extremely bad luck for you to buy your own tarot decks. So always either get a family member or a friend to buy it for you.

3) Connect with your spirit guide and your tarot decks!

Importantly, I personally believe its very useful and helpful to connect with your spirit guide, the more you connect with them, the more you’ll know a lot about them and who they are in general.

You can do this through connecting with your tarot decks first and getting a special bond with them, you do this by

- Keeping the tarot decks on your desk when your studying, or reading a book

- Shuffling through the decks every day, you don’t even need to do a reading or to use them, just shuffle them. This way you’re putting your energy into the cards.

- Place the tarot decks under your bed when sleeping.

- Ask your spirit guide questions, like what are the tarot cards intentions, am i being protected. Things like that.

- Doing Tarot readings

Doing these things will help you bond with your decks and your spirits guides.

4) Never touch someone else’s Tarot decks

I’m highlighting this in red because this is a massive 101 rule in witchcraft is to never touch someone else’s deck unless they have gave you consent and permission. By breaking this rule, you are also disrespecting and breaking the person who owns the deck boundaries. Everyone’s tarot deck is very personal for them, its their personal business and item, they are spiritually connected and bounded with that deck. If you touch it, not only are you putting yourself through harm. But you’re also pissing off the person’s spirit guide and disrespecting them too. So don’t do it.

5) Things don’t have to be expensive!

When people think of witchcraft and hearing about crystals, herbs and books, they think “oh god this is going to be a lot of money” but in reality you don’t have to go out your way to buy really expensive things! I’m from the UK so i buy most of my books from a store called WHSmiths or Work entertainment. Work entertainment is best for spell jars which only cost £1 or a simple crystal shop which sells those £1.50 crystals!

6) Learn how to do protection spells before doing anything!

If you feel like you are ready to do spells but don’t know where to start or what to do, practice doing protection spells, protection spells is pretty self explanatory but it will protect you from any negative energy or spirit

7) What to do if you got a negative spirit/energy

You’ll know when you have a negative energy or spirit around you as your mood and your health will change, if you feel like your mental health has been a bit down for a while and you’re constantly feeling drained and tired. That means something is draining your energy.

So what do you do?

Do an egg cleanse spell! This will help you detect if someone has set a curse, negative spell or if theres negative energy around you.

By doing so, grab a glass cup and fill it up half way with water, adding salt to it is optional but i recommend doing it as salt is really good at protection. Grab an egg, place the egg on your head, with your hand you would want to move the egg counter clock wise around your body, start from the head, and move the egg down to your arms and legs, back round to the other side of your body. Do not let the egg leave the body.

After you’re done crack the egg into the cup and wait 5 minutes, if its all clear then you’re okay! but if the egg whites starts forming like spider cobwebs with bubbles between it, it means someone has set negative energy around you or a curse. If you see a triangle base shape in the cobwebs and a bubble on top. It means you have been hex with the evil eye. If theres also red or brown spots in the yolk it also means a banishing spell or a curse spell.

So you do a return sender, if you got any spices, add a f*ck ton of it in the cup, the more spices the better as that will f*ck whoever sent you the hex up. Grab the cup and pour everything down the toilet, look away while you flush the toilet. Once its flushed look at the bubbles, less the bubbles less of the negative energy. Sometimes you have to do this more than once.

8) Your spirit guides will show you the answers in different ways

One thing I’ve learnt is your spirit guide will show you the answers in different ways, if you want to know if you are protected, there will be signs, for example I personally believe if a a white feather falls in front of you or by you or if you even see a white feather it means you’re being protected by a angel/your spirit guide. So if you see a white feather it means you are protected by them, or if you see your spirit animal or if you know a dead relatives spirit animal and it starts to show up.

Sometimes the signs will be right in front of your face, example for me is: My spirit guide warned me about people being back stabbers and to watch out. After seeing that in a reading, i had my mother who im very spiritually connected with, call me up saying she had a dream about me being stabbed and she feels like it represented me being back stabbed and warned me who i hang out with.

Then my closest friend used my tarot deck which broke my boundaries, pissed off my spirit guide so she started to get headaches, neck pains, back pains and it got to the point she had to leave. When she tried approaching me the day after that, a white feather fell right by me, seconds later, she started to feel unwell and went back inside. I suddenly felt the sense of relief and happiness, and when i said to my self everything is okay, another white feather fell and it landed on my leg. That made me personally feel that it was my spirit guide confirming me and saying yes everything will be okay.

That’s all the advice i can think of at the moment but hopefully this has helps a lot of you small baby witches! just remember, if you ever feel burnt out or you start to do witchcraft but dont have the passion or get into it but still want to, thats okay! it takes time!

9) Know what you are doing when doing spells!! And do it when you are ready!

Another thing, i know i said previously doing research is key! but please know what you are doing when doing spells especially jar spells! Don’t do what I did, I thought I was ready to do spells, I tried doing a protection spell and I ended up summoning a trickster spirit who is still attached to me and can be a little pissbaby sometimes by moving my things around. But overall he also does protect me when need be so he can be good when he wants to be.

Also if you’d like to know what books I have, i have these! (the pictures below) these have helped me over the past 2 years with my journey so I highly recommend checking them out!

Good luck and i wish you all positive energy!

[rosekeu]

soft like a bunny : r. sukuna

this is part 4!

a/n: highschool au, fem!reader, reader has braces, shy+nerdy+sensitive reader! [if you don't like that then leave ig lol] soft spot for reader ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ this part too me all day to write wtf. this chapter drained the fuck out of me. its 2.1k words.

sypnosis: assigned to a project together you have no other choice but to get sukuna's number.

【 playlist 】

[ part 1 ] [part 2] [ part 3 ] [ part 5 coming soon! ]

sukuna walked to his house after leaving you at yours, though he wasn't too happy knowing he'd be scolded by his parents for his two-day suspension. as he approached his house, sukuna couldn't help but feel a sense of dread. 

 “itadori sukuna! you got suspended! again?!” kaori, his mother, scolded her as she walked over to the pink-haired teen and pinched his ear. yuji stood at the corner, trying not to laugh. sukuna winced in pain but couldn't help but smirk at yuji's amusement. despite the ear-pinching, he knew deep down that his parents only wanted what was best for him. 

“at least it was for a good cause this time,” his twin brother commented, making their mother raise her brow in confusion. “he helped a girl.” yuuji said, trying to convince their mother.

"yeah, it was supposed to be a one-week suspension. but she saved my ass," sukuna said, as the grip on his ear tightened. kaori looked at him with an unconvinced face and asked, "who's this lucky girl then?"

l/n, y/n," he replied, annoyed by his mother's antics. "i heard she's a second-year!" yuuji exclaimed.

"mhm... alright. but you're still grounded, young man!" she said this while lightly slapping sukuna's upper arm. he hissed. "fine." sukuna reluctantly agreed, knowing that his punishment could have been much worse. he couldn't help but feel a sense of relief that your name wasn't brought up anymore.

.✿✿✿.

the next day rolled around, and while in chemistry class, you couldn't help but miss sukuna's annoying pestering. you found yourself glancing over at his empty seat, realizing that his absence made the class feel strangely quiet. the teacher's voice seemed to echo in the room without sukuna's occasional snarky remarks. 

as you left the classroom, you remembered you still had a project to complete, with your partner being sukuna. knowing he had a two day suspension made it difficult to get started. you met up with mai and maki and asked them what to do. "you could just ask for his number, idiot," maki said nonchalantly. and you squealed in surprise. 

"no! i can't do that! he barely talks to me, plus he's not going to be here for two days." you sighed in frustration. mai groaned in response. 

"y/n, just ask one of his friends? or doesn't he have a twin brother?" .

you knew they were right and decided to ask his brother for sukuna's phone number. you hurried to the first year hall, feeling a sense of déjà vu from the first time you met sukuna. but this time was different; everything seemed more peaceful. calm.

as you looked through the two classrooms, one said, "class 1-a," and the other said, "class 1-b."

your eyes quickly scanned over class 1-a and found someone that looked quite familiar—the same shade of pink hair; he wore the school uniform more complete; and when you saw his face, it was almost identical to a sukuna, though this one seemed softer and more approachable. his eyes weren't red like rubies; instead, they were hazel, with bits of green, yellow, and brown scattered throughout them. 

the boy wasn't far away, but he sat with a few other friends, including a boy with dark spiky hair and a short girl with short brown hair. you approached them with nervousness.

"hello." you gulped, and the group had heard your voice, turning their attention towards you. the pink haired boy's eyes widened as he looked to recognize you. "you're l/n? right?" 

you froze and nodded quickly, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety. "yes, that's me," you replied, wondering what he knew about you. "i'm itadori yuuji!" he exclaimed, a wide smile spreading across his face.

"my brother mentioned you! you're super pretty!" he admitted it truthfully, making you blush and feel a rush of flattery. "these are my friends, fushiguro megumi, and..." the spiky haired boy waved silently.

'kugisaki nobara!" the girl smiled. "it's unbelievable that the name sukuna is associated with someone as adorable as you!" she continued.

you smiled nervously and nodded, feeling a warmth spread through your cheeks. 

"did you need something?" yuuji asked, curiosity evident in his voice. "well, i have a project with sukuna, and i was wondering if you could pass me his phone number." 

"sure, i can give you his phone number." yuuji said, reaching for his phone as you did. megumi and nobara exchanged puzzled looks; they both knew yuuji didn't give out his brother's phone number casually. sukuna was adamant about his personal information remaining private, even for school projects. however, as you exchanged phone numbers, you couldn't help but notice a small smile on your lips. 

'i have his number!!'

"thank you, yuuji," you said, walking out of the classroom. "yeah, of course!"

"why did you give her suku's number?" megumi asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"yeah, didn't you say he was grounded and without his phone?" nobara added, looking puzzled.

"oh, yeah! i completely forgot about that!" yuuji exclaimed, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

.✿✿✿.

you had been looking forward to going home to text sukuna since you received his phone number. once you did, you were frozen on your bed, staring at the screen anxiously.

time passed quickly. you had dinner and finished your homework. and it was already 6 p.m. you grabbed your phone and clicked on sukuna's number to text him. as you typed out a message, you couldn't help but wonder if sukuna would even reply. the anticipation and anxiety grew as you hit the send button, hoping for a response.

???: "hey! this is y/n from chem class. i was wondering when we were going to start our project (✿◠‿◠) [sent-6:23pm]

you stared at the screen as minutes passed by without any response. the silence made you question if you had said something wrong or if sukuna was simply busy. doubts started to creep in, and you couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed. 

you turned off your phone, and a frown formed on your face. maybe sukuna wasn't interested in working on the project with you after all. you showered and changed into your cute teddy bear pjs, hoping that a good night's sleep would help clear your mind, but your mind still lingered on your message.

'was it too long? or was the emoticon too much?'

you hid under your covers and tried to distract yourself, but your thoughts kept drifting back to sukuna and the unanswered message. as you lay there, you couldn't shake off the feeling of uncertainty and wondered if you had done something wrong. 

i'm just overthinking this, you reassured yourself.

.✿✿✿.

"you gave her what?" sukuna whispered and yelled in disbelief at his twins words. yeah, i gave her your number because she said you guys had a project together."

"it's not that part! i don't have my phone, dumbass!" sukuna groaned from the bottom bunk of their beds. yes, the itadori twins were turning 16, and they still had bunk beds.

sukuna sighed, heavily annoyed at yuuji. " i mean, you can grab your phone from mom's special cabinet." "but you know how she gets if we touch her stuff," yuuji replied sheepishly. "besides, i thought it would be easier if she just called you directly." sukuna rolled his eyes, realizing that yuuji's intentions were good, but his execution was always questionable. 

he lazily gets up from his bed and walks over to their mom's special cabinet, careful not to disturb anything. as he opens the cabinet, he notices the familiar blood red phone case. sukuna takes it rapidly, going back to bed quickly. 

he turns on his phone and finds one text message from an unknown number. he read it and thought it was cute.

🐰: hey! this is y/n from chem class. i was wondering when we were going to start our project (✿◠‿◠)  [sent-6:23pm][read-10:55pm]

he edits the contact so it's a bunny emoji. he smirks to himself.

🐯:  come over tomorrw. we can work on it together. [sent-10:56pm]

he impatiently awaits a response: "yuuji, are you fucking pranking me with a fake number?"

"what? no way!" 

as he was about to curse out his brother, his phone chimed.

🐰: okay :) i was worried you weren't going to respond lol [sent-11:00pm] [read-11:00pm]

🐯:  i'm fucking grounded. i'm talking to you in secrecy 😈 [sent-11:01pm][read-11:01pm]

🐰: don't get in trouble because of me:(( [sent-11:00pm] [read-11:00pm]

🐯:  you're totally worth it, sweetheart. [sent-11:01pm] [read-11:01pm]

as you read the message, warmth spreads through your cheeks, making you grip your phone even tighter. sukuna smirked; seeing as you hadn't responded right away, he imagined your flustered expression. he became impatient again.

🐯:  respond, brat. [sent-11:06pm][read-11:06pm]

you gathered yourself as your shaking fingers mustered a reply.

🐰: sorry (〃▽〃) that just caught me off guard, is all [sent-11:07pm] [read-11:07pm]

🐯:  i didn't know i made you so nervous. you're probably blushing, aren't you? [sent-11:07pm][read-11:07pm]

🐰: nope! not at all! [sent-11:07pm] [read-11:07pm]

🐯:  prove it, then. [sent-11:07pm][read-11:08pm]

🐰: what? [sent-11:08pm] [read-11:08pm]

🐯:  show me that you're not blushing.  [sent-11:08pm] [read-11:08pm]

your eyes widened, and your stomach began to churn. was he asking for a picture of your face right now? you wouldn't, but if you did, he'd be right. you were blushing profusely, and your heart was racing. you became even more flustered at the thought of proving it to him. 

as you were about to type your response, your phone rang with a sudden call. sukuna. he was calling you out of the blue. you quickly answered, not knowing it was a facetime call. 

"eek!" you moved your phone rapidly as you saw your reflection at the corner of your screen, but bigger than that was the face of sukuna staring back at you; he was visible, but his surroundings were pitch black.

"let me see your face; i didn't call you for nothing." he said it with a sly smirk. you were excited and nervous at the same time as you paused for a moment before adjusting the camera to show your face and half of your shirt. the first thing he noticed were your red cheeks and slightly messy hair.  "so you are blushing; how adorable."

"s-shut up-"

"were getting bolder, i see." sukuna chuckled, his smile growing wider.

"i'm learning how to stand up for myself, so...y'know"

he hummed in response, looking closer at you. sukuna furrowed his brow and squinted his eyes to better see your shirt. small teddy bears scurried throughout the fabric, making him smile.

cute, he thought. "nice shirt," he remarked. and you quickly adjusted the camera so it would only show your face. "ignore that!"

he laughed at your reaction. "ugh, y/n, you're so fun to toy with."

"that's so mean..." you pouted, a tiny frown on your face. his heart squeezed as if it was about to leap out of his chest.

'she is going to kill me...'

"it's late. why did you call?" you asked, fidgeting with a strand of hair. "i wanted to see if you were flustered, and you are."

you laughed, covering your smile, knowing if you showed it, he'd probably make fun of you or stop talking to you. "why are you covering your smile? let me see, brat." he remarked that he was a bit annoyed.

your eyes widened as you grabbed your phone, now only showing half of your face. "no, it's okay. you probably won't like it anyway."

"c'mon, stop being an idiot." he insisted, and you thought about it for a minute before deciding to trust him. "alright, just don't be mean. i'm insecure enough." you whispered the last part, but he still caught on to it.

"just get on with it, dumbass."

you smiled at the screen, revealing your pink-banded metal braces. and waited for his disgusted reaction, but it never came.

"that's hot."

"what?!"

"you heard me." he said this, maintaining an unexpected calmness.

"yeah, right," you murmured as you lay on your side in bed. "i'm serious; they're hot as hell."

you couldn't help but feel a mix of surprise and relief. "next time you should get red, i think that would look good too."

you giggled, happy knowing that one of the most insecure parts of you was adored by such an attractive guy like suku.

"i have to go. it's late, sukuna." it was the first time he'd heard his name fall from your lips. he smiled softly, savoring the sound of his name on your lips. "alright, take care and sleep well," he replied, his voice filled with a hint of longing. as you ended the call, a warm feeling settled in your chest, leaving you eager for the next conversation with sukuna as you received one last text.

🐯:  goodnight, qt [sent-11:32pm][read-11:32pm]

🐰: goodnight <33 [sent-11:33pm] [read-11:33pm]

if you want to be tagged let me know!

taglist:

@thepup356

@wonumyluv

@dabishotgf

@mahi-tamashi

[mistypsych]

ANATOMY OF A CRIMINAL - CHAPTER 5

/ yoongi / suga / agust d /

summary: as a doctor you never expected to be dragged into “the criminal life”, nothing and no one seems to be true anymore, your whole world turns upside down after you save him.

pairings: yoongi mob boss x f.reader x non idol bts members.

warnings: smut, guns, knives, stabbings, blood, gore, murders, drugs, criminals, gang life, medical emergency, illness, abuse, swearing, angst, dubcon, gang violence, corruption, manipulation, lies, cheating - 18+ minors dni.

Note: Hi! This is an attempt of writing a fanfic long after not writing anything at all. Please also keep in mind English is no longer my first language and it might be a bit rusty and odd at times but I try my best. As promised we are reaching the chapter where Suga will be taking the lead! Comments and thoughts are well appreciated. Don’t hesitate to ask questions, state your thoughts for me to post up and have me add you to the tag list!

The quiet “What?” echoed mercilessly over the walls of the small hallway. The only other sound to be heard, were your deep breaths. His was full of panic, while yours was coated with anger, that you have kept pent up inside these past days. This was not the best moment to start such a difficult discussion, but something snapped from within and you were ready for war.

Staring him straight in the eyes you worded out slowly “I WAS WITH YOUR FRIEND AGUST-D”. He just continued to stand there with a face full of disbelief. You could see his body stiffen as he was clearly thinking of what to say, but you decided that pause there was enough. Pushing threw him you stormed down to the kitchen, throwing your bag on the floor. Silence meant he was trying to come up with a lie, right? You didn’t know what to think anymore. Everything was getting out of hand. The life built on all the years of hardship, studies and sacrifices, seemed to be flying out of your grasp.

You felt your heartbeat all the way to your throat. Your muscles started to tremble and your legs threatened to give in. Were you really about to lose all you worked so hard on? Everything you knew and thought was so important seemed to all go down the drain. Tears were welling up your eyes. Your breath got erratic and your chest uncomfortably tight.

With a shaky hand your grabbed a glass of water, downing it in one go. Anxiety was starting to overflow your whole body. This was all really happening. Life as you knew it was being eaten up by flames and you were petrified of finding out, what would be left in the scorched remains. Was there any hope? Was there a chance of surviving this?

Suddenly you felt arms tightly wrap around your waist and Hoseok’s chin on your shoulder. You struggled to rip away from his embrace but he easily out powered you. “Let go of me! I don’t even know who the hell you are!” you yelled helplessly. Tears rolled down your cheeks, but he still wouldn’t let you go. Instead he quietly shushed you, tightening his grip and begged you to calm down.

“Y/N I don’t know what you think you found out but trust me I can explain…” he said in a soft tone. He pressed against you closely and hummed into your ear trying to end your fit. Once he felt your body loosen up, he turned you to face him, grabbing your face in his hand. You made the mistake to look at him. His eyes were full of concern and pain.

“Y/N please don’t cry. Just let me explain.” A sigh escaped his lips as he wiped the falling tears with his thumbs. You were so tired, you didn’t want this, you didn’t want to fight, you didn’t want your life to crumble into pieces. Noticing you cooled off your nerves a little bit, he lifted your chin to look at you „What is it your are accusing me of exactly Y/N? And how do you know Agust-D?” he asked calmly.

Your whole body shook. This was really happening. Things were going down and there was no backing out now, you already put this all in motion. “That you’re a dirty cop… that he pulls the strings at the police department… as for how I know him it doesn’t matter. What matters is I found out about your ties with him Hoba… and that you lied”.

He stroke your cheek gently and shook his head. “I would think you knew me well by now Y/N. I am your fiancé for fuck sake… not some bum you just met… and when did I lie to you exactly hm? That I didn’t tell you one of my jobs is to work undercover? That we have a whole team working quietly trying to find out who actually is putting their hands in the cookie jar? I can’t speak much of these things Y/N! Same as you have your confidentiality with patients…”

The words that rolled off his tongue, smacked you out of your despair. You looked at him stunned, blinking the tears away. How did this not cross you mind? How did you not think that maybe there was something more behind this? That he could have been working? Why did you go straight into believing he was scum? You felt guilt crawl threw your soul. What were your thinking? Or more like - Why were you not thinking at all?

You looked at him, your bottom lip hanging down. You could feel like your whole brain was being rebooted. “I… I mean… they said… that…”. Hoseok tilted his head slightly, still holding your face in the palm of his hands. There was no anger in his gaze, just worry, confusion and a bit of sadness. “Who said what Y/N?” he asked patiently, waiting for you to finally explain your outburst.

“I… umm… the whole Agust-D thing… Jungkook he… he got mixed in with him… he saw you around his business…” you stuttered out, trying to collect your thoughts. You still could not shake off a very odd feeling. But why? It all made sense, of course Hobi was working. He was one of the best detectives. It wouldn’t be strange for him to be part of the team on such a case.

“Kook? What does he have to do with those people even? Is he taking?” you shook your head quickly in response “No, god no… It is more complicated then that, but it’s not my story to tell… I just knew about the gang and the whole situation from him…” you lied a bit. You didn’t know why but something in you was telling you not to put yourself out there. To keep in the fact that somehow, you got entangled with those criminals as well.

Hoseok gave you a slight stare, that showed he wasn’t satisfied with your evasive answer regarding your friends involvement. Luckily he seemed more worried about opening a whole new can of worms with you. Seeing you calmed down, had him decide poking at the subject wasn’t worth it. In the end he didn’t really give a fuck about your co worker. All that mattered was that you retreated from the battle.

“So… now that you calmed down… care to explain the - I was with your ‘friend Agust-D’?” Shit he remembered your words. Before you could stop yourself you simply lied threw your teeth “I was just throwing bullshit… I was with Kookie… he told me about the police… you and this gang and that Agust-D, whoever he is… so I decided the best line of attack was to throw shit at you… you know… get a reaction…” he sighed loudly clearly buying what you were selling. Never would you think you’d make such a good liar.

Question was why was your brain reacting this way? Hiding stuff from your partner? You didn’t really understand but the truth was, at this moment you didn’t want to answer those questions. You were tired, stressed and confused even more than before, so you decided to keep some cards to yourself. Your instincts rarely failed you and something was telling you there was more to the whole story. So you had to wait. Wait it all out, until you were absolutely sure about what you’re dealing with.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Warm beams of sunlight slowly crawled up to your face. Last night you and Hobi both decided to sleep off the whole argument and agreed if one or the other had any doubts or wanted to add something to the topic, you’d simply talk it threw again. As for now it would seem no one was in a rush to continue digging into the gang subject.

You smoothed your face with your hands slowly and squinted your eyes. Hoseok was nowhere to be found. A small note rested on his pillow. You skeptically grabbed the piece of paper in your fingers - “I will be back late today. No need to wait up for me. Love H.” You grimaced after reading the words. Somehow even when yesterday, he gave you a logic and what seemed like sincere explanation about his involvement, you still felt like something rubbed you the wrong way.

But then again you couldn’t be throwing away all the years of your relationship on a whim. There was the possibility that after all what happened with your best friend and how he dragged you into all this shit in the first place, you were just sceptic about everything. Keeping that in mind you decided to give yourself more time and try to trust Hobi, after all you had history together and it seemed only fair to both of you.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

On your lunch break you decided to go out and eat with Jungkook. You wanted to question him about the whole “dirty cop” situation. If Hoseok was doing work of course he would play into the whole game to get the gangs trust. You felt the need to talk with your friend about it, since he was also involved in all of this. You wanted Kook to know Hobi was just doing his job. Or was it simply the fact of you wanting to believe that was the case?

Once you sat down and the waitress brought your drink, you looked at the tattooed brunet and sighed slightly stirring your glass “I confronted Hoseok…” you blurted out quietly. Your coworker coughed slightly and ran a hand threw his thick locks. Narrowing his brows he let out a “Oh…?” and waited for you to continue.

“Yea… he looked a bit shook at first as to how I even heard of this Agust-D… later he asked… I kind of twisted the facts and had him believe I never actually met the guy… but anyhow…” you took a sip of your iced yuzu tea and shot a short glance towards your friend who was waiting quietly. “He said he was doing undercover…” you finally let out the info.

Kook straightened himself in his chair and loudly let out a breath threw his nose, as if calming himself. He arched a brow looking at you in an analyzing manner. He was trying to figure you out. What were you thinking? Did you believe your fiancé? After a while he slightly shook his head and said “And you believe him?” his tone sounded slightly worried and annoyed.

You lowered your head and looked at the tips of your fingers. Should you be honest? Should you tell him how your feel deep down? He did drag you into this mess but he was honest about what his involvement was in the end. Also he did warn you about all the police. Playing with a loc of you hair you sighed “Honestly…? I do want to believe him… I mean it’s Hoba. We are together for years… for fuck sake we live together and he is my fiancé so of course part of me believes him… wants to believe him…”

You friend kept his gaze on you. He gave you a second to collect your thoughts and then in a quiet voice asked “But the other part?”. Looking straight forward, you bit your lip and whispered “Has a feeling that he is lying threw his teeth to save ass…”. Kook straightened himself making the chair squeak against the floor. He once again screened over you with his big eyes and then nodded “It’s understandable you want to believe best about someone you love… but if you also have doubts usually that is sign Y/N. To be frank… when I saw him around it never crossed my mind he was ‘working’ and well… I think our intuition usually gives us a correct view on things…” he sighed deeply and put his hand gently on yours.

You looked at his tattooed fingers trying to avoid his eyes. All this was too emotional. You wanted to believe - no, for now you believed in Hoseok’s version but also deep down something was chipping away at your heart. Your chest was getting tight and you could feel the stress flood over your body. Jungkook’s gentle squeeze brought you back to reality.

“Y/N for what it’s worth… I really hope you and I are just being overly suspicious and that your Jung is simply doing his job. As hard as it might be, best to not overthink it for now… let the situation play itself out. Truth will come to the surface, no matter what…” you smiled gently at those words. Doubts you had about talking to him were long gone. It was clear how much you needed to have someone in your circle. Someone who was also in this hellish loop with you.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

The week flew by quickly. You took your friends advice to heart and tried not to overthink things. It was going quite well due to the fact you barely got to see Hoseok. He was having a busy time at work and so were you.

When Friday evening came you thought you would see more of your fiancé, but coming back to your apartment all you saw was again a note stating he is gonna be back late but that he would make it up to you tomorrow. You sighed a bit, and rubbed your neck. A wave of anxiety creeping up your spine. You could not shake off a weird feeling, that something was not right. Trying not to overthink it, you decided to cook something and watch a movie.

You were pouring yourself a next glass of wine while looking at the screen of your tv, when your heard you cellphone ring. Walking up to it you saw “Kookie” as the caller ID. Your brows arched up in surprise. It was already quite late. What could he want? Did something happen. “Kook? What’s up?” you answered in a bit surprised tone. A sigh on the other end greeted you and that was the moment you knew something had to be off.

“Y/N… turn to video call ok? But don’t freak out… and best sit down…” his voice was a bit shaken and he sounded nervous. You switched to video and what you saw on the screen left you dumbfounded. It was your fiancé talking up some girl, or more like clearly flirting. You could see Jungkook had to be standing in some corner, not wanting to be caught out from the crowd. Once looking around the people that were visible to your eyes, you could see a couple of figures you recognized. There was Joon, Tae and Jimin. They were close by Hoseok and some other officers you knew he worked with.

Blood rushed to your cheeks and then hit back down your body, leaving you pale as a wall. Your muscles started to shake as you felt rage well up within you. This was the “job” he was tending to? Your friend kept quiet on the other side. You let out a breath, you were holding for quite a while - he is just flirting maybe it does have to do something with work? As you were about to try and calm yourself down, you saw the girl run her hand down your fiancés back. He was laughing and giving her his charming smile. Then you saw her whisper something to his ear that made him smile even wider and wrap his hand around her waist.

You felt the veins in your brain pulse, your head was about to explode. Was he really doing this? The answer to that came fast. Saying something to the other men he walked away with the lady. There was no doubt about the intentions, just looking at the body language itself was enough of a tell. For a moment you could not make a sound. You were seeing red and about to scream for bloody murder. “Y/N… I’m so sorry…” you heard Jungkook say and switch off the video. Putting the phone to your ear you rasped “Send me the bar name… I’ll come there…” you shot out angry “He left…” you cut your friend off with a “And? I am not coming there for him Kook. I need a drink…”

Once you received the address you took a cab and walked into the loud, crowded club. Kook was waiting at the bar as he said. Next to him were already the three gang members. You took a deep breath seeing you friend shoot you an apologetic gaze, clearly not being too thrilled by who had joined him.

You on the other hand got an idea. You remembered Taehyungs comments about you being a hottie. As enraged as you were your mind spun to some wild places. You were not going to blow up Hobi’s phone, calling him out on what he did, telling him you know. No, you were so fed up with his now very clear lies, that you stopped to think reasonably. You were pissed, planning to get shitfaced and go home with some guy. Have fun without any strings attached. Tae seemed like a good choice, cocky, sure of himself and good looking. Hitting on him shouldn’t be too challenging for you.

Once you made way to the bar, Jungkook was already holding a drink for you in his hand. As you started to down the colorful liquid you felt eyes on you. “Wow doc… you seem thirsty?” a smooth and low voice came from behind you. Turning, you saw the tall handsome man you were just thinking about. “Oh you have no idea…” you say, your voice turning sultry, what earned you an arched brow from your friend and a crook smile from Tae.

Looking you up and down, he sat on the stool next to you, taking a sip of his whiskey “Any way I can help with the issue?” Jungkook was about to tell him off but you spoke before him “Actually… I think you just might have the solution”. Your coworker almost let out a shocked gasp, eyeing you if you were serious about your intentions. Once he understood that a line had been crossed with you, and this was some sort of petty revenge from your side and a way to let loose he only nodded his head, making clear he was not about to judge your choices.

Two cocktails later, you found yourself on the dance floor, swaying your body against the tall brunette. Things were slowing getting heated as he twirled you around and hugged your waist. His hard on, pressing against your ass. “Well I guess I can say today I am one lucky bastard…” he whispered into your ear while nibbling at your neck gently. As you closed your eyes with a slight hum and were about to answer, you felt a tight grip on your wrist pulling you from Tae’s grasp.

Your eyes shot open as your body slammed against someone. Looking up you met those familiar black eyes. Agust-D wast staring into your soul and before you could protest he glared at Taehyung who quickly disappeared, while raising his hands in defeat. “Really…?” the raven haired man asked in a low rumble. Rolling your eyes you ripped your hand out of his “What? You guys are in some sort of cult that does not allow you to fuck around?” he blinked a bit taken aback by your words. “I was calling you. Have you forgotten you still need to take those stitches out of me?”.

Taking the phone from your pocket, you stared at the screen. You saw one missed call from an unknown number. “First of all… as I recall we were to have an appointment tomorrow. Second of all, do you know what fucking time it is?” his eyes turned chilly, as he took a step closer. “Did you forget already what I told you? You’re hella out of luck Y/N!” and just like that, he grabbed you once again pulling you behind him.

His whole aura made you instantly shut up and stop arguing. You followed behind him, feeling that if he wanted he could wave you around like a rag-doll. He opened the door to his SUV for you, waiting that you to get in. Once you were sat inside, he got behind the wheel and drove off. You sat in silence, wondering if he was taking you to the gloomy hangar you despised so much. To your surprise, you ended up driving into one of Seoul’s most luxurious parts - UN Village.

Waiting if you were just driving by, you observed the fancy apartment buildings, threw the window. Suddenly he stopped under one of them and got out of the car. Walking to your side he opened your door and awaited for you to jump out. As you slid off the seat, you couldn’t stop looking amazed by the beautifully lit up neighborhood.

Without a word he started walking. You quickly followed, trying not to trip over your own feet, from how surprised you were. He let you inside one of the apartments. It was huge, clean and modernly styled. You stood in the hallway, blinking your eyes. Of course he had to be loaded. He was the head of one of the main gangs of the city. You just did not expect him to chose such a fancy place to live.

Trying not to look overly impressed you said “I don’t have my medical bag with me…” you barely finished the statement and he threw a med kit on the small coffee table in front a huge couch. You walked up slowly, looking over the whole spacious living room. The place looked like from a magazine.

You were brought back to reality once you saw him unbutton his black shirt. Gulping, you averted your eyes from him. “Since you were so upset with the last place, I decided to fulfill you demands on decent workplace…” he said and then asked “Where do you want me?” still a bit stunned, you blurted without thinking “Sit on the couch” and then it hit you that your choice would put you in a uncomfortable position, but it was too late. He had already sat down, with his shirt wide open.

You slightly coughed, trying to think of how to handle the situation. You ended up deciding to sit yourself on the coffee table in front of him. Your slim fingers grabbed at the kit and took out a pair of small scissors and tweezers. Deciding to not utter a word, you hovered yourself over his abdomen and started taking out the stitches.

“Seems like you took the doctors orders a bit more seriously this time…” you finally spoke, earning a slight laugh from him. “Is there an award for good behavior? A lollipop or something?” he chimed in a graveled voice. Felling your face burn you cleared your throat. The alcohol was log gone from your system at this point and so was all the sass you had before.

Once you took the last suture out, you straightened yourself and let out a short breath. “All done…” you said quietly trying not to look at him, but then you felt his fingers push away a loose strand of your hair. “Are you? All done?” he asked in a low voice. Your heart was about to jump out of your chest, as confident as you felt around a guy like Taehyung, Agust-D was a whole different story.

All you could stutter out was a “Mhm… I think…?” still not looking at him, you heard him shift at his spot. He leaned in closer. His breath brushed over your neck and ear as he said “I think you are lying… You looked determined at the club to take my guy out with you…” a tingle went down your whole body as you took a deep breath, trying to regain yourself. “Yea… I still might…”

He chuckled at those words and moved even closer to you, whispering in your ear so close that you could feel his lips over your skin “Well I believe he would leave you disappointed. He wouldn’t be able to handle a woman like you…” you finally dared to gaze at him. He looked a bit amused by your reactions, what made you bite back a bit “Oh and you would know?”.

It was all he needed to feel provoked and grab you by the waist, pulling you onto his lap. “Yea, you are surely needy… and not such a delicate flower as some might think. Truth be told I believe you like a challenge don’t you?”. With that he wrapped one of his hands gently around your neck, causing you to quietly gasp and throw your head back a bit. “See?” you could hear he was smiling. You were so angry at yourself, at how you reacted to him, at how your brain wast starting to be clouded by all the lust he was flaming up in you.

tags: @wobblewobble822 @nansasa @nochook @kootieful @kooslilhoe @yoongisducky @xjiminsthighsx @danielle143 @llallaaa @idkjustlovingbts @darcyw16 @missussally-blog @honsoolgloss @nochuel @kaitieskidmore1 @starrlo0ver @geek-lara-nerd @jwnghyuns @xyahrinx @acquiescence804

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I broke up with a guy after learning that he is clinically depressed and has anxiety?

So rolling back in time, I (22f) met this guy (28m) through a work event. We hit it on really well, and started going out for chats & coffee soon after. I told him from the get go that I was ace and seemed decently chill with that despite not knowing much about it. I was pretty cautious since pretty much all my relationships have gone down the drain because of that (ie my being blamed for leading people on). Things were going decently well and slow paced until I had to go back home for a month (one of my parent's funeral).

Not surprisingly I haven't been in the best of moods and felt pretty much no interest to pick things back up when I came back. But in an attempt to not close off myself, I went back to chat with the guy. Which is where things came up that he is depressed (has been for the past 5 years following a burnout) in addition to having anxiety. While he's been going to therapy for a while, he's been in a slum most of this time (ie, not having progressed at work, very few friends, etc), which isn't helped by him having some substance issues. Overall this wouldn't be the end of the world but it makes him very needy which I absolutely hate (especially considering that I'm trying to fix my own problems). His neediness translates to him being very very affectionate (which, I don't mind? Just that I'm not a teddy bear) but also him really really wanting to help me since he has problems that he wants to share and therefore wants to return the favour. Thing is. I really don't want that? The support that he offers doesn't do much for me since I already have other methods of coping with my problems (including friends that I feel more comfortable chatting with). I realise that it might not be the healthiest but I'm not keen to open up and share problems when it doesn't help me.

So this leaves me in the situation where he haa very much fixated on me while I'm not willing to commit more effort to trying to help with his problems (the fact that he seemed to have his life together, only to not have done much over the past 3-5 years is really the issue). I can't really sustain a one way relationship + work has been extremely stressful and life has been kinda shitty (rather obviously). But I feel like an AH for dropping him the moment I learned that he had mental health issues.

So WIBTA for breaking up with him?

What are these acronyms?

[lookwhatitcost]

How can you love me? Chapter 1 (part two.): Should I regret it?

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x !OFC

Warnings!: Drinking, Swearing, let me know if I need to add more!

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

Part 1.

Noah and Adriana both rockstar's, both caring, both don't really believe in love.

They met as children in a park in Richmond, since Noah helped Adriana with a scrape on her knee that day, they'd been inseparable. Even though they do live together and have known each other for almost 20 years they've never even had the thought of being each others other, being their partner, loving each other unconditionally, except as friends of course. Even though they were each others first everything, first friend, first kiss, first time, first home, they would never admit their love for each other because it would ruin their friendship, and especially not now that Adriana is not looking for love and, Noah is in love with his girlfriend Chelsea, right?

Will they let each other break their glass houses or will they stay eternally quiet?

May 13 2020. Noah's POV. (scene from last chapter.)

"Yeah sure but, I could try to get here before dinner so we can all eat togeth-"

"Noah." I cut him off

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and go visit your girlfriend."

"Ok"

I was driving to Chelsea's place while listening to music and thinking 'finally gonna see her, I can just picture her on her knees suc-'

Ring ring ring.

"hello?"

"Hi baby, how are you?" Chelsea said in an almost whisper tone

"Oh hi babe, um I'm good, just driving to your place."

"Okay, do you know how long you're gonna take?" She said in a worrying tone.

"Um maybe in like 5 minutes, baby?" I said wondering why she sounded so worried. "yeah?" She shortly answered. "are you okay?"

"Oh-uh, yeah I'm fine, um Noah I'm gonna have to let you go, I'm getting a call from my mom."

"yeah that's fine, well baby I can't wait to see you and I definitely can't wait for something else." I said insinuating. "Cool, bye babe." Then she hung up on me.

Weird, she would usually respond to the dirty shit I said to her, anyway.

I knocked on her front door, waiting for her to open it. I don't know what, but something felt off about her, but maybe she could just be in a bad mood. The door swung open revealing Chelsea in a two piece pink silk pajama set, with her hair in a half up half down style. She looked beautiful.

"Hi baby" she said in a soft tone. "Hi" I said leaning in to give her a kiss. "Come in noah." She said as she pulled away, not kissing me.

What the hell is going on with her?

"Noah can we talk?" She said. "Yeah okay." I said worrying about what's to come. we sat down on her couch, she grabbed a pillow putting in up to her chest.

"Noah, I have to tell you something." She said looking at me, I could see the tears forming in her eyes. "Look noah, I love you, but... We need to break up."

"What?" I said whispering.

My heart shattered in that moment, I felt the blood drain from my body, I didn't know whether to cry, ask her why she wanted to, or just leave without saying anything. I opted for the last one.

I got up from the couch and made my way to the door, I hesitated leaving and not asking her why but I decided it was best for me.

"Noah wait!" I heard Chelsea cry after me as I walked to my car.

"Noah I'm sorry, but I have to do this, for you, for me, for us."

I briefly looked at her and told her, "after 2 fucking years there is no us anymore." I got in to my car, trying to keep it all in, and drove, and drove, and drove away, until I stopped in the back of a gas station just to sit there in silence.

Maybe she was over thinking.

Maybe she just was drunk or something.

No. Chelsea can't be over thinking she always knows what she wants, and she can't be drunk, she doesn't drink often.

I decided in my mind that she did actually want to break up, and that's when I thought.

I only have two options.

Either I, break down into tears and tell the one person I can count on, which is adri about this so she can help me, or, I drown my sorrows with alcohol. After little to no thinking I decided the second one would be best.

Chelsea's POV

What the fuck did I just do?

I just broke up with noah, and I think I'll regret it for the rest of my life well that and the other thing... He was so loving and caring, and especially he was faithful towards me all the time and I had to go fuck it up by doing that.

At home...

I need tequila. I need to get my mind off of her.

I walked into the house feeling I don't know how many emotions inside of me, I knew I was probably going to get interrogated by the guys right when they saw my eyes, so I had a plan, a simple plan, but a plan, this plan was just walk in get the bottle and walk to my room and lock the door for the rest of the night. I walked into the kitchen expecting it to be empty but there were two people standing there, Adriana and Jesse. I just wanted to avoid them asking anything so I just said.

"If Chelsea calls any of you and asks for me, don't tell her anything. Got it?" I said making my way to get the alcohol. I rushed out of the kitchen and on my way I heard Jesse scream something that I couldn't hear because I was just stuck in my thoughts.

I walked into my room and slammed the door, I immediately just sat on my bed and started drinking. When I was sitting I heard the door open and close softly. Fuck, I didn't lock it.

"Noah what the fuck was that out there?" Adri said slightly suprised, slightly pissed. "Nothing, why?" I said trying to not make the emotions sound. "You want some?" I offered her the tequila.

"No, Noah what happened with Chelsea? Did you guys fight? Or was it something else?"

I decided, fuck it, I'll just tell her. "She broke up with me."

"Noah what do you mean?"

"No, I got to her place and when I said hi to her she asked me if we could talk, when we sat down she just said it, no sugarcoats, she just said, I wanna break up."

"well maybe she was just confused, I mean, you guys have been together for 2 years, that's a lot of commitment and maybe she was just nervous."

Yeah sure, and you're in love with me.

"nah, its fine she's just like any other girl who's dated me, they spend time making me fall in love just so then they can throw me away like some type of garbage."

"Noah, please don't say that, look lets do this, you stop drinking so the hangover isn't as bad in the morning, I will try and call Chelsea tonight and if she doesn't pick up I'll call her tomorrow, and you can get some rest in the meantime ok?" She took the bottle from my hands, and I was about to protest against her but I know she wouldn't stop until she got her way.

"I guess, sure."

Okay, well goodnight Noah I'll tell you if anything happens tomorrow."

Then she kissed my forehead softly, and I muttered a quite thank you, but I wasn't just saying thank you for her helping me with this, I was saying thank you for everything, for the love she's given me since childhood, for all the times she put up with me even when I was being a dick, for all the times she helped me when I wanted to cry, when I needed advice, when I wanted to kill myself, whenever I desperately needed her.

Noah's POV.

I kinda fucked up.

An hour after Adriana left I went to get more alcohol, I couldn't handle it so by 3AM I was really really fucking drunk. After that point I don't remember anything except me waking up to get water and in my dream I kissed a girl, who was this girl? I have no idea.

Okay sooooo its out!

This one was shorter just because I wanted to give you guys his POV in the story but the official second chapter will be out soon. And that one will have smut. The next chapter (2) will have more drama filled stuff, remember this is supposed to be a slow burn.

Tags: @xxkittenkissesxx @laurpartyprogram @starsomens @thisbicc

[sailoryooons]

Hali’s Favorite Fics of 2022

Hi - in honor of 2022 coming to a close, here is a list of the things I read that are my favorite fics this year. These are fics that I either re-read multiple times, or completely blew me away the first time I read it and made me think about it for hours later.

I read upward of 100 fics this year, so if you don't see your fic that I've reviewed on here, please don't take it personally. Everything I've read this year is wonderful but these stories in particular have sat in my brain for so long I need to charge them rent. Also - I haven't finished reviewing some of these so... don't cancel me if you see your work on this list but I've never said anything djfhgdfrgihud

Also - sorry for so many repeat writers. As you can tell, there are a few people whose style really call to me and whose craft I deeply cherish and admire. Please consider sharing your thoughts with the writers below if you enjoy their work, they are amazing!

Note: Please don’t come for me about how some members recs are longer than others (cough cough Yoongi). I truly chose what, in my opinion, were literally my FAVORITE fics I read and I had a lot to chose from for Yoongi.

Kim Seokjin

Repeat Offense by @gimmethatagustd - One Shot

Summary: The are only two constants in life: the promise of death and the infuriating existence of the man who ruined your life. Will your immortal punishments keep you in an infinite loop, or will you one day be able to rid the world of the evil that is Kim Seokjin?

Sunday by @here2bbtstrash - One Shot

Summary: You got your boyfriend exactly what he wanted for his birthday.

Min Yoongi

Nothing to Hide by @gimmethatagustd - One Shot

Summary: It’s your boyfriend’s first Pride Month since coming out, and  you’re determined to make sure he has the time of his life. 

Cyber Sex by @gimmethatagustd - One Shot

Summary: The whole point of being a phone sex hotline operator is that you’ll never have to meet your clients. So what are you supposed to do when you find out your favorite client is your brother’s best friend? 

Look Down On Me Like That by @here2bbtstrash - Series

Summary: Your asshole coworker Min Yoongi has made it his personal mission to ruin your life. 

Moving Day by @here2bbtstrash - One Shot

Summary: You manage to entice your boyfriend into taking a break from unloading boxes to unload something else instead.

Deadly Desire by @nabiolive - One Shot

Summary: Reader agrees to a date with a handsome stranger despite there being a serial killer terrorizing the streets. What are the chances of it being him, though?

First Love, Last Love by @kithtaehyung - One Shot

Summary: After the most pivotal moment in your life, you never thought you would ever see him again. Years later, you cross paths in the last place you ever imagined him to be. Was this the universe giving you a second chance? Or were you destined to repeat the same mistakes you fought hard to forget? 

Monster For Rent by @yoonjinkooked - One Shot

Summary: With your emotions riding high after a draining break-up, you can finally taste freedom after what felt like a prison you willingly signed up for. After a much needed night out with your friends, the word inhibition is erased out of your vocab. High on both adrenaline and liberation, you don’t even pause to think before you make your next move - and just for one night, you decided to go for a different kind of monster.

Jung Hoseok

Party On You by @here2bbtstrash - One Shot

Summary: The only thing stronger than your social anxiety is your big dumb crush on Hoseok - and you’re certainly not expecting it when he tells you the real reason he threw this album release party. 

Please Stop Talking by @here2bbtstrash - One Shot

Summary: Hoseok is so good at giving head, but so bad at talking dirty. It really makes things difficult. 

Kim Namjoon

Gravity by @kimvvantae - One Shot

Summary: 5 months after the breakup, you’re still gravitating around each other, no matter how hard you try not to. The only way to finally free yourselves from this pull is to let your orbits collide one last time.

Park Jimin

Nectar by @gimmethatagustd - Two Shot

Summary: Humans have this annoying habit of being drawn to danger, and you’re having a hard time stopping yourself from sinking your teeth into your new roommate. You’re not sure what’s more tantalizing: his impossibly good looks or his seemingly innocent way of flirting with the darkest part of you.

The Shape of Your Body by @here2bbtstrash - One Shot

Summary: The same day you finally manage to speak to your months-long public transit crush, you end up seeing much more of him than you bargained for.

Batteries by @amethystwritesbts - One Shot

Summary: Your sex life has been lackluster, much to the dismay of your roommate, who makes it his mission to show you sex can - and should - be amazing.

Kim Taehyung

Boy Blue by @nabiolive - Series

Summary: While going through a painful but necessary breakup, reader meets someone who is patient, kind, and understanding; everything her last ex was not.

Complete Faith by @daechwitatamic - Series

Summary: It’s Taehyung himself who admits that it’s usually around the one-month mark that he starts to lose interest in his relationships. So even though you’re so drawn to him you can barely stand it, even though he’s attentive and funny, even though you’re helplessly crazy about him… when you start dating, you feel like you’ve got an expiration date from day one. But will it be Taehyung’s issues that get in the way, or your own?

Jeon Jungkook

Babygirl by @here2bbtstrash

Summary: Your boyfriend claims the outfit was just for a tiktok - until you realize you’re both very into it.

Multi Member

Collateral by @nabiolive - Series

Summary: Your (soon to be ex) boyfriend gets in over his head working for the local mafia, and Boss Min has come to collect his payment: You.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Namjoon

The Hooksborough Demon by @nabiolive - Series

Summary: You and two friends ventured into the location of an urban legend with the intention of exploring an abandoned building and having a laugh at small town lore for clout. But after a series of mysterious events, you’ve turned to a forum a year later to try to piece everything together, and to find out what the fuck happened to Yoongi & Jimin.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader ft. Jimin

Outro: Tear by @nabiolive - One Shot

Summary: Your relationship with three amazing men felt like a dream come true until one of them cause everything to slowly fall apart

Pairing: Rapline x Reader

Dollhouse by @nabiolive - Series

Summary: Hoseok’s job is simple: He enters the host’s body, he confiscates or terminates the target, and he gets back into his own body by dinnertime, easy peasy.  Until a client comes along who becomes as obsessed with his life as he becomes with theirs, and the lines between their realities begin to blur.

Pairing: Hoseok x Namjoon x Yoongi x Jungkook

Compromise by @here2bbtstrash - One Shot

Summary: You’re torn between the two loves of  your life - but maybe you don’t have to choose

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook

-

Please give these writers the wonderful, amazing support they deserve and give these fics a read!

[sissylittlefeather]

As promised...

A Very Quiet Life: Chapter 6

A/N: I'm still struggling with everything after this one, so it might be a while before there are more chapters. But, please enjoy this one!

Warnings: 18+ smut, minors DNI!, kissing, p in v sex, unprotected sex, lil bit of angst if you squint, lots of fluff

Links to:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Let me know what you think! ❤️

Song inspo (still. I love this song)

Gifs because I can't not at this point

Meanwhile, across the street, Mrs. Walter takes note of the fact that the neighbor entered your house at 9:45am and still hasn't left...

******

You spend that whole day in bed with Elvis, only leaving to eat whatever you can find in the kitchen. At one point, he offers you a popsicle and you both fall apart laughing. It's the best day you've had in a very long time and you're sad when it has to end. At about 3:30, he puts his clothes back on, kisses you one last time, and walks out your front door.

Mrs. Walter would have missed him, except she's walking to her car to go get her kids from school. She looks at her watch, astonished. Then, she resolves to keep a closer eye on the two of you. Beth, Elvis's wife, is a good friend of hers, and she won't stand for what she suspects is happening.

******

On Thursday morning, you watch from your kitchen window as Elvis puts his wife in a cab with a suitcase. He gives her a chaste peck on the lips and you look down at the cup you're washing. He really is married. You wonder how long she'll be gone this time and if he'll want to stay again. As he's walking back up to the house, he sees you in the window and waves. You think you've both done a good job of just appearing "neighborly" and nothing more. About twenty minutes later, you hear a knock on your front door. Your heart leaps. Of course, it's him.

"Thought I'd come check on how that shower is working for you, ma'am." He holds up a box of tools. You know he knows very well that the shower is just fine. He winks and you let him in the house.

"The toolbox is a nice touch." You say once he's inside and the door is closed. He drops it on the floor and pulls you into a passionate kiss.

"I was hoping you would be home today. I don't have lessons until after noon." He says with his forehead pressed to yours.

"Elvis, what are we doing?"

"Do you want the biblical, medical, or romantic words for it?" You look up at him as he smirks.

"I'm serious. I haven't forgotten that you're married, even if you have." He backs up a bit. You don't want to hurt him, but you can't just pretend it's not true. You've never been a cheater, and you're not sure you like the idea of being the other woman either.

"Y/n, I haven't been in love with my wife for a long time. She drained the life out of me for years. You brought me back. I don't care what you call it; I'm happy with you. Are you happy with me?"

Happier than you've been in your whole life. Maybe that's enough.

"Yes." He takes that as your whole answer and scoops you up in his arms like a baby, taking you straight to the bedroom. He might be married to someone else, but he knows exactly what you want.

******

Michael's party is on the following Saturday. Elvis comes over for dinner on Friday, leaves, waits until the kids are in bed, and then comes back. He stays with you that night and sneaks out before the kids wake up again. You feel like a teenager with all this secrecy and hiding, but honestly, it turns you on a little bit. You know it can't go on forever, but for right now, it's good. Really good.

When Elvis comes back on Saturday afternoon for Michael's party, you're a little taken aback to see his wife with him. She must've come home this morning. Still, you slap on a decent smile and welcome her into your home. She seats herself on the couch and all you can think of is how you fucked her husband on that same exact spot. He looks at you nervously, obviously thinking the same thing. Thankfully, Michael and Jane and the Walter kids come barreling through the living room, saving you both any more embarrassment. Michael is still sporting his blue cast, but he's gotten used to it by now. He runs up to Elvis's wife with a marker and asks if she wants to sign it. She looks uncomfortable and says no. He points to where Elvis signed it several weeks ago and begs her. She looks up at Elvis with an annoyed glare and finally takes the marker and signs the cast.

"Michael, what do you say?" You holler from across the room.

"Thanks, lady!" He says and bounces away to keep playing. Elvis follows him and snatches him into the air, both of them laughing. You smile at the scene and then catch his wife watching you, so you turn away quickly.

You're putting some food together in the kitchen when Mrs. Walter walks in and stands with her back against the sink. You can see Elvis in the living room with the kids from where you're standing. They seem to have started some kind of game where he's the monster and they're all trying to get away from him. She startles you when she speaks, tearing your attention away from watching them.

"He's so good with kids."

"Mhmm" you answer politely.

"And he's really handsome. Don't you think so?" You look at her blankly. Why would she say that?

"Oh, I mean, yeah, I suppose so."

"Is he more good looking than your husband was?" What the actual fuck?!

"Rick was very attractive. Gorgeous brown eyes and one of the best smiles I've ever seen. Great with kids too." You turn to look her in the eye. "What exactly are you asking me, Susan?" You use her first name, disarming her a bit too. Still, she maintains eye contact.

"Oh, nothing. I just wondered what kind of home repair job takes almost six hours to complete?" Your heart stops and your whole body goes cold. She knows.

"Six hours? Are you talking about the other day when he fixed the shower? He was here for half an hour and then had to leave and come back and finish that afternoon." You answer coolly, not sure where your confidence is coming from. You can't tell if she buys your story or not.

"Hm." She raises her eyebrows and leaves the kitchen.

Holy fucking shit.

You need to talk to Elvis NOW. But you know you can't. That's probably why his wife is here. Susan has tipped her off and she's watching to see if you slip up.

Fuck fuck fuck.

You white-knuckle your way through the rest of the party, pretty much ignoring Elvis the whole time. At one point you even call him "Mr. Presley". When you do, he looks at you funny, but seems to pick up that you are on edge. He doesn't try to get your attention for the rest of the day.

Finally, the party ends and everyone leaves. You're overly courteous to his wife when they walk out the door, praying that she didn't see anything to feed her suspicions. Once everyone is gone, you sit down on the couch and breathe for the first time in hours. Your head is pounding as you try to think through what to do next. Michael is passed out on the floor in a pile of presents. Jane comes and sits next to you on the couch.

"Mama, what's wrong?"

"What do you mean, baby?" You turn and look at her. She returns your look with wide, innocent eyes.

"You usually smile more when Mr. Presley is here. You didn't smile today." Children are so damn perceptive.

"Oh, I was just stressed from the party, baby. I'm okay."

"So he will come over again sometime and you'll be happy?"

"Of course he will and yes, I'll be happy." You pull her into a hug and try to blink away tears. Even your kids would miss him if he wasn't around anymore. What are you going to do?

******

After you get the kids in bed, you're sitting on the couch trying to read when you hear a soft knock on the front door. You're pretty sure you know who it is, but you move slowly. When you answer it, Elvis walks in quickly and shuts the door behind himself.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Mr. Presley?! What the hell is going on?!"

"Susan Walter knows."

"Knows what?"

"About us!" His expression changes. He swallows hard and walks to the couch to sit down. You wring your hands and cover your face.

"How?"

"She saw you come in and not leave the other day. She's going to tell Beth if she hasn't already. And isn't Beth home right now? How are you here?"

"She went out with friends. I have at least three hours. And she hasn't told her yet or she would've said something."

"She's going to tell her. What are we going to do?" He looks down at the floor for a while, thinking. When he looks back up at you, his eyes are dark blue and he seems to have a new resolve.

"Come here." He puts his hands on your hips and pulls you close to him. "I don't care. I'll tell her myself. You want me to tell her tonight?"

You stand there with your mouth open looking down at him. Are you ready to be the neighborhood pariah?

"No... Not yet." He leans his forehead against your stomach and you put your hands on his back. "I just want us to stay good for a while. If you tell her, then there's no telling what'll happen." He pulls you down on the couch next to him and holds both of your hands in his.

"Listen, honey. You and me will be good no matter what. I promise you that." He holds one of your hands to his lips and kisses it softly.

"But with the kids... it's just not easy." You try to pull away, but he doesn't let you. He looks directly into your eyes.

"I don't need easy. I just need you." He puts his hand on your cheek and leans in to give you a soft kiss. He kisses you again, more deeply this time, letting his tongue meet yours in the middle. You feel your worry start to melt away. He keeps kissing you tenderly, and then he plants small kisses all over your face, making his way down to your neck. Then, he picks up your hand and kisses each finger gently, landing with his lips in your palm. He moves back to your mouth, dipping his tongue between your lips.

He lays you back on the couch and kisses down your neck again, nipping at you softly with his teeth, sliding his hand up the back of your shirt. You have your arms around him, kissing his cheeks and forehead and mouth any time you can get to them. It's like you're trying to sink into each other through kisses.

Slowly, he pulls your shirt over your head and runs his hands over your body. He seems to be trying to take in every inch of you. You move to take his shirt off of him and press your skin against his. There's no such thing as enough contact between you. He deftly removes your bra and begins kissing the soft and supple skin of your breasts. He drags his tongue around one of your nipples and sucks on it lightly. You moan softly and arch your back.

He kisses down your stomach to your belly button, hooking his fingers in your waistline to pull your pants and panties down together, leaving you fully naked. For the first time, you don't feel exposed, you feel free. He runs his hand from your stomach, down your thigh, to your foot, where he presses his thumb into your heel and kisses your ankle. He's giving attention to every single part of you.

Standing up, he drops his pants to the ground, freeing his perfect erection. You look at him as he stands there. His body is strong and masculine, but somehow also gentle. You desperately long to feel him against you again.

He slides both hands up your body as he lays over you, both of you completely naked. You open your legs a little to give him access and he pushes into you easily, filling you entirely in one move. The gesture is tender and filled with so much more than lust. He keeps a slow rhythm, kissing your neck and moving his hands over your chest and stomach, like he's mesmerized by the feel of your skin. He holds himself over you and lets his deep blue eyes meet yours for a good while. It doesn't take long for you to realize that this isn't fucking. This is making love and it's beautiful. He's tender and passionate in the way he worships your body. And he's still pumping into you, but slowly, gently, letting you feel every inch of him. You wrap your arms around him and pull him close to you, letting yourself be consumed by the feeling of his skin on yours. He reaches down to hold onto your hip as he begins to thrust a little faster.

Both of your orgasms are building together as your sweat mixes with his. You kiss him tenderly and your eyes lock on to each other again. He gets a little faster and a littler faster and you feel yourself beginning to tingle as your climax approaches. After just enough of him kissing and touching and sliding in and out of you, he crashes into you in a way that sends you over the edge with him. You both shudder and moan at the same time, kissing deeply as you hit the peak of your orgasm. When you come back down, your naked bodies are intertwined so that it's hard to tell where he ends and you begin. You lay there together, pressed up against each other, for what feels like a very long time. Eventually, he lifts his head up and kisses you on the cheek and looks into your eyes.

"I am yours, y/n."

You hold back tears and nod your head. You can no longer imagine a life for yourself without him.

******

Chapter 7 will be here... someday! 😬

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@itlover8000 @deniseinmn @elvisalltheway101 @ccab @suxny @hernameisnoellex3 @ashtag6887 @arabellapresley @littlehoneyposts @dkayfixates @elvisxsposts @joshuntildawn13 @msamarican @returntopresley @mrsbutler99

Want to be added to the Taglist? Let me know!

[modifieduchiha]

Part 4  - [ I | IV ]- rather read on AO3?

Part 1 ☆ Part 2 ☆ Part 3 ☆ Part 4 ☆ Part 5 ☆ Part 6 ☆ Part 7

·Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist · Series Masterlist ·

Word Count: 6,297

Chapter Summary : This was all very unlike you as of the past few years. Your normal now was the smart, innocent, safe girl; you were sick and fucking tired of it, ready to unleash the worst parts of yourself.

Characters in this chapter :Toji Fushiguro, Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Megumi Fushiguro, Reader

Synopsis: As you stood there, caught in his gaze, you couldn't help but wonder if there was something more between you and Toji than just a case of mistaken emotions. Could it be that the attraction & connection between you was too strong to resist? Or would you have to fight your feelings and stay loyal to a Megumi who has been cheating on you with your bestfriend, no matter how hard it may be?

Warnings: 18+ MDNI ! Female reader, cheating, squirting, orgasm, toxicity , corruption kink, daddy k!nk, size k!nk, praise, fingering, toxicity, yandere behavior, PORN WITH A PLOT! DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT

♡Authors Note: Yes there is smut in this chapter, although it is going to continue over into the next chapter!! I will eventually update the warnings section for each chapter but as of now it will remain the same. Please remember with is porn with a plot. ♡ IF YOU WANT TO BE IN THE TAGLIST FOR THIS SERIES REPLY TO THIS AND LET ME KNOW OR PUT IT IN MY ASK BOX

 !! TRIGGER WARNING !!

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT

The following themes will be included from this point forward:Sex/blasphemy/dubious consent/death (of minor characters)/Drug use/Rape/etc

If you have a history of drug use/rape, etc- this story may trigger you.

This is not a soft story.

You have been warned.

Taglist; @breadbaker69

Ask to get added to the taglist in the replies section or send an ask

♡ Directory ♡ submit a fic request or leave me a note ♡ AO3 ♡ Ko-Fi ♡

18+ — MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

The interior of your car shook violently with the bass of your music that was currently playing at max volume as you sped down the road , swerving in and out of cars in your way. 

The leather on the steering wheel made a crackling noise due to the sheer pressure your fingers were squeezing it with, think about the fight you just got in with your father. 

He had a tendency to get pissed when you dressed up , something about how your ‘whore of a mother used to dress like that before she disappeared’  and here you were; a black mini dress with no bra underneath, fishnets on your legs, and matching black stilettos just to spite him.

And to add a cherry on top you had dyed your hair red , the shade of red resembling blood.

This was all very unlike you as of the past few years. Your normal now was the smart, innocent, safe girl; you were sick and fucking tired of it, ready to unleash the worst parts of yourself.

If your boyfriend didn't think you were sexy, you were determined to make sure every single person who saw you tonight thought it instead.

 It was nearly 11 at night, nobody was answering the numerous calls you spammed them with; specifically your best friends Nobara, and Yuta.

The pint of sake was in your hand, coming up to your lips occasionally for a swig as you drove thoughtlessly, your mind raced to try to identify that perfume. You couldn't quite place it, but it was definitely a familiar scent. 

Suddenly, a memory flashed in your mind - it was the same perfume that your best friend had been wearing when you last saw her. Your heart sank as you realized what that could mean.

Hot tears began streaming down your face as you drove through the downtown streets, clubs, and bars lit up the area. 

Saturday nights always caused this area to boom with life, while you felt your own lifeforce draining. 

An all too familiar metallic taste permeated your senses before you clicked on the interior light and glanced up into the rearview mirror, only for the reflection to reveal blood tickling down the corner of your lip.

Anger, sadness, confusion,  fucking rage had built up to the point you had gnawed the inside of your cherry glossed lip bloody.

With a grunt you turned into some high-end club and casino parking garage, going up a few levels before choosing to park on the floor that only had no other cars.

The car shifted into park and as if on cue, your phone buzzed against your thigh.

A few more gulps were taken from the bottle before you reluctantly lifted the phone expecting to see a message from Yuta , Nobara (even though you already knew you had to get revenge on her some how), or even Megumi. 

But to your surprise, it was a text from Toji.

"I know today was confusing and I don't want to pressure you, but do you wanna do something fun, take your mind off of everything?" 

Fuck yes you did. 

You read the message over and over, your heart racing. You knew that this was dangerous, that it could ruin everything. 

But you couldn't help the yearning that ran through your body at the thought of exploring this strange connection with Toji.

Despite the fact that you were Megumi's girlfriend, you found yourself falling deeper and deeper under Toji's spell.

"Yeah, I'm kinda stuck in a parking garage right now though. I’ll drop a pin.”

you typed back while drunken butterflies fluttered around in your tummy and then dropped a pin on the location, sharing it to Toji. 

In your backseat was a black furr coat that Megumi had gotten you for your 4 year anniversary. Fingers raked through the soft fur before putting it on. 

The tears that wetted your cheeks were dabbed away, and makeup was applied to your face with urgency to cover up any redness. 

All that hurt and betrayal being forced deep inside of you and bottled up for now. Besides , your brain had a way of turning sadness into anger , which would likely come in handy over the next few days. 

A scream left your throat when a series of 3 rapid knocks were tapped on your window. 

Nearly giving yourself whiplash from the speed at which your head spun to find Toji standing there wearing a devious smirk.

A palm pressed against your chest to keep your heart from leaping out. But you returned the same type of dark smirk as he opened the car door for you. 

"That was fast!" Your expression was adorable to Toji, and you took his extended hand to get out. 

Little did you know that he had arrived so fast was because he had been following you this entire time, you should really start turning your location sharing off.

When you reached back to grab your purse and wallet he tsked at you, a gentle grip on your wrist. Toji raised a brow and chuckled.

"You're not spending your money…tonight's my treat." 

Guilt slightly prickled at you, Toji could be so damn stubborn, your eyes trying to break down his motive while his scanned the skimpy garments that clung against your curvaceous figure.

“Hmmf, fine. I’ll just owe ya one” you slurred while forcing a smile , trying to play it cool.

When you thought about it you realized you never asked Toji or Megumi what Tojis's job was specifically, you only knew he owned a VERY successful company.

 For days, sometimes weeks he would be gone on business trips. Spending money on you really wouldn’t put a dent in his bank account, although you didn’t know that.

Toji had parked his black Porsche nearby, and you found yourself staring at it, swaying slightly as the alcohol began to take its toll. 

Toji noticed and quickly notched his arm around your waist to steady you, his nose picking up the scent of sake emanating from you.

"Let's go, I'm driving. You've been a bad girl," he said in a playfully stern tone before tsking again, tugging you gently towards the car , using the opportunity of helping you inside to feel you up just a little. 

You couldn't help but feel a clenching in your stomach at the sound of his voice, and the warmth of his hands exploring your body only made it worse.

As he settled into the driver's seat you released a gasp at the feeling of his hand resting dangerously close to your clothed cunt, the two of you making brief eye contact once he felt your thighs clench.

Toji raised a brow at you as a bottom lip slid between your teeth you remembering the events of earlier, and you were completely dedicated to really breaking free tonight. 

You wanted to lose your virginity and losing it to your boyfriends’ father would be the ultimate revenge on Megumi.

This was a dangerous game but the drunken part of your brain figured Toji would be amenable to whatever antics you would throw his way. 

Toji was working his brain thinking of an appropriate place to take you yet it just kept telling him to pull into some dark alleyway and absolutely ruin you for Megumi or any other man you’d ever sleep with, but before those thoughts could come to fruition his phone went off.

The movement he made was meant to seem like he was just shifting to get more comfortable , but he was really covertly checking the messages to see that a business partner needed him to meet up.

His stress level was immediately on level 10, should he really take you to the Underground? A place where other people in his ‘profession’ met up, it was neutral territory for criminals. 

Not to mention that Toji had played a part in funding the project of building that sinful place.

A place that had an underground casino, strip club, brothel,hotel, and more. Better yet it was located directly next to a large theme park , so people would just assume the large place was part of the park.

One of the most atrocious places hidden in plain sight.

Technically you would be safe there. Toji would always keep you safe although the definition of safe might be different than your version. 

But he would be exposing himself as a man who ran an empire that dealt fire arms, drugs, and even human trafficking. 

Though after all this time he’s spent with you , the dedication he held for you would allow him to take a leap of faith. 

If anything he could just give you something to forget tonight ever happened, but absolutely nothing would take you away from him, not even you.

The sake had you resting your head against the window as he started the car and pulled out of the parking garage the sound of the revving motor filling the air. You leaned back into the seat, letting out a sigh as you closed your eyes, feeling the cool air from the air conditioning blowing onto your face.

Toji glanced over at you briefly as you connected your phone to the cars bluetooth, you favorite playlist playing and you humming along.

You were an adorable little mess sitting there looking like you were straight out of a playboy magazine . 

It made Toji run his hand further up your thigh before hooking his index finger through the crotch area of your panties, smirking at the wetness of the material and how you wriggled around in your seat whining his name, telling him to stop even though you wanted the complete opposite, you wanted more. 

My god did it make him rock fuckin solid underneath his business suit.

“Darling , I know you’re a bit drunk. We’re going to have a good time tonight s’you can forget about all the bullshit lately-” this is how people always sounded when they were trying to calm you before the storm. 

“Y/n, I trust you with my life.” A bold statement you thought to yourself, but it caught your attention. “I need to take care of something for work, and I trust that you’ll keep it to yourself?”

“Of course, Toji.” you replied instantly and giggled a bit at the tickle of his fingertips. 

“Nobody will question you , but you need to …fit in. Think you can pretend to be my fiance?” Toji swallowed a mouthful of spit and looked over to see you smirking at him. It wasn’t to often that he seen ‘this’ side of you. 

Maybe if you pretended to be his fiance for a while , eventually you’d just accept it to be the truth. 

“So i’m Y/N Fushiguro?” You playfully quipped by using your fake new name, enjoying how it made him react. 

“Soon to be” he winked and pressed harder on the gas . “I’ll be honest , babygirl…this place isn’t normal in any sense . There are a lot of dangerous people”

A frown tugged at the corners of your mouth , feeling a knot form in your stomach as he spoke. And then, in a moment of vulnerability and intoxication, you confessed, "I'm an addict in recovery."

The words came out before you could stop them, and you immediately regretted letting your guard down. You looked at Toji, hoping he wouldn't judge you for your past.

Toji took a moment to process your confession, his expression unreadable. He wanted you to feel comfortable with him, but he couldn't deny the thought that getting you high might make you more susceptible to his charms. However, he pushed that morbid idea aside.

Your brows furrowed at his silence, cocking a look at him while trying decipher his reaction.

"I had no idea, but I did find your pills earlier," he admitted, his voice calm but firm.

“Fuckin hell-” You let out a groan, running your hand over your face. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I kept them."

Toji nodded understandingly, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. He knew why you had them, he knew you were close to a relapse. "It's okay. I’ve got you no matter what, I’m not going anywhere.” Toji had never spoken a sentence more true than this.

Toji was determined to make sure you were comfortable, but he also knew that it was time for you to learn the extent of his criminal behavior and he would make sure that you would learn to be okay with it if you weren’t at first , even if that meant making you a criminal yourself.

Afterall , he had to do that to Megumi . Another thing you never knew of. 

It might be easier to get you hooked to him if he got you high. Tojis eye twitched a bit at such a morbid thought but left it as a viable option.

“We are about to pull up to the underground though just remember to stay in character," he said before continuing, "a lot of us go by codenames here. I guess we can just call you-"

You interrupted him before he could finish his sentence, your eyes widening with excitement. "Hellfire," you said, giving him your nickname and codename. Of course you've heard of the Underground, you'd spent a lot of time around drug dealers and users alike. 

Toji raised an eyebrow at your quick response, impressed by your assertiveness. "Hellfire, huh? I like it," he said with a smirk but asked himself why it sounded so familiar. 

"You know, you might just fit in here after all. Such a bad girl sometimes" 

before you could react to his words you let out a lewd high pitched gasp, feeling the stinging impact of his hand slapping your clothed pussy harshly before retracting it.

How the hell did everything this man do say and say feel SO GOOD?!

A few minutes later the car approached the gates, a man dressed in all black came up to Toji's side of the window. Toji rolled it down and quickly flashed his ID to the man, who nodded and stepped aside to allow them to pass through. Now it was time to enter the Underground. 

The place looks like it could belong to some type of billionaire. Fountains and intricate stone statues decorate the well-kept garden. You couldn't help but stare in awe as the car made its way through the winding pathways.

You could only imagine how amazing the view must be from one of the highest floors of the building, especially when the sky turns a beautiful shade of orange as the day bleeds into the night.

It was like stepping into a completely different world, one where money, violence, and power ruled.

Ironically they had an actual underground parking garage where Toji found his usual spot before turning the vehicle off.

Toji turned to you. "Remember, don't act like a nervous. Act like you belong here, like you belong to me.  And keep your eyes open if you’re ever by yourself. You never know who might be watching." 

Tojis's hand found itself at the back of your head, his lips making contact with yours , he let out a desperate groan at the taste of your cherry-flavored lips .

With that, he got out of the car and opened the door for you. “Ready, Hellfire?” Toji eyed you up and down, his eyes were consuming every ounce of you and getting some pretty intrusive thoughts as he helped you out of the car.

Toji took out his phone and sent a quick text to someone while you were busy taking in your surroundings. You realized how the air was thick with the scent of cigarettes and exhaust fumes You followed Toji across the dimly lit interior of the building.

The two of you were connected hand in hand, your heels clicking against the pavement as you began walking with him toward the elevator. This entire thing seemed surreal.

The elevator was made with glass walls, allowing you to see the different floors as the elevator ascended, The view from the glass walls was incredible, with each floor revealing a new level of opulence and extravagance yet the different floors contained taboo and some illegal activities.

The intricate decor and expensive furnishings were unlike anything you had ever seen before. You couldn’t help but be awestruck at the types of things you were seeing, Toji wrapped his arm around your waist after noticing the amusing look on your face. 

It was both comforting and intimidating to be in the presence of such wealth and power.

The beaming smile was now directed toward him, your heart nearly jumped from your chest as he leaned down to kiss you passionately. Little did you know that during the distraction, he placed your bag of pills back into the purse that hung over your shoulder.

As the elevator doors opened, Toji pulled away from the kiss and led you out into a spacious and luxuriously decorated lobby. You looked around in amazement, taking in the high ceilings, marble floors, and intricate chandeliers hanging overhead.

Toji whisked you away to the front desk, where he flashed his charming smile and smoothly requested a key. The receptionist addressed him by name, he clearly frequents this place. She promptly handed him a sleek card, and Toji wasted no time taking your hand

"Excited to see the room, my dear?" he asked, his voice tinged with a mischievous tone.

You eagerly nodded, unable to contain the mix of emotions and alcohol coursing through you. Toji's confidence and easy charm made it easy to put your trust in him, even as he led you to the unknown.

Within moments, you arrived at the room, and Toji deftly used the keycard to open the door. The sight before you was breathtaking - a spacious, lavishly decorated suite that seemed to stretch on forever. You couldn't help but gasp in awe, marveling at the intricate details and luxurious furnishings.

Toji chuckled at your stunned expression. "Impressive, isn't it? But don't worry, we're just dropping off your belongings for now. We'll come back later to really enjoy it," he said, leading you inside.

The two of you made quick work stowing away your things, everything except for your phone which you popped into your purse before you followed Toji out of the room, eager to see what the rest of the night had in store for you.

Toji took your hand, leading you a few floors down only to step out of the stairwell into a dimly lit hallway. You could hear the sound of music and laughter coming from behind a closed door at the end of the hall.

"This is the place," Toji said, gesturing towards the door. with a backpack rattling on his back.

You looked up at him nervously, "I don’t even wanna ask what’s behind that door."

Toji gave you a reassuring smile, "Don't worry, I'll take care of you."

He led you to the door and knocked three times before it was opened by a tall, muscular man with tattoos covering his arms.

"Hey, Toji. Come on in," the man said, giving you a curious look.

Toji stepped inside and you followed closely behind, feeling a bit uneasy. The room was filled with people, all of them drinking and doing drugs of their choice to loud music. 

Toji led you to a glass-walled room that had a small table in the corner, one clearly made for people who needed to do business in quiet, and before you could say a word, a woman was setting drinks on the table for the both of you.

As you sipped on your drink getting even more drunk, you couldn't help but feel out of place. You had tried to put this lifestyle behind you but this was a whole new level, this was so elegant that it almost felt okay. 

Everyone in this place seemed to know each other, and you felt like an outsider. Not only that but you REALLY wanted to get high now. 

Toji noticed your discomfort and leaned in close to you, "Don't worry, I'm here with you. Just relax and enjoy the night. A few associates of mine is going to be coming over in a moment, so just breathe and drink." he said with a smile before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

Toji was running one of his hands up and down your thigh, and with each stroke, he seemed to get closer to your panties. Just like a good girl, you sipped your drink, letting out an occasional moan that made Toji give you a certain look and visibly tense up. 

Just as you started to feel more at ease, the door opened and revealed two men; Suguru Geto and Satoru Gojo. 

Toji's grip on your waist tightened as he felt your body tense up, almost protectively, as Satoru approached with a grin on his face. 

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Hellfire. It's been too long," he said, his eyes lingering on you.

Dread washed over you as you took a sip of your drink, trying to compose yourself, but Satoru's greeting made you choke on it, drawing unwanted attention to yourself.

The sound of a thudding smack echoed in the room as Sugurus hand made contact with the back of Gojos head, a warning for him to shut up but he was clearly intoxicated.

“Shut the hell up and sit down Gojo.” Geto hissed as he pulled a chair out across from you and Toji, taking a seat and setting a briefcase on the table.

Toji glanced at you, confusion written all over his face as Satoru called out your supposed code name, unsure how one of his associates knew it. 

You could feel Toji's tension growing as he tried to piece together the situation, and you knew you had to act quickly to avoid any further complications. 

"I need another drink." you said, forcing a smile as you tapped the side of the empty glass. As you went to stand Tojis hand forced you back down, instead he looked to Satoru. 

“Go get her another drink since you know her so well.” The words were laced with condescension. Satoru nodded his head and flashed a grin as he went to do as told.

Suguru cleared his throat, shifting the conversation back to business. "We have some important matters to discuss," he said, giving Toji a meaningful look , his gaze flickering to you briefly with a questioning look on his face.

Toji nodded, his grip on your waist finally loosening as he turned his attention to his business partner. You let out a sigh of relief, grateful that the focus was off of you for the moment because the alcohol was beginning to ravage your mind.

As the conversation shifted back to business you tuned it out and you took the opportunity to breathe and gather your thoughts. Despite your best attempts at not listening you quickly found out the specifics of what kind of business Toji was involved in, and it made your stomach churn.

This means that the drugs you got off of Suguru were drugs he had gotten from Toji.

Satoru returned with your drink, placing it in front of you with a smirk. You forced a smile as the sound broke you from your current thoughts. It felt heavenly as you began taking a sip and trying to ignore his presence. 

You leaned back in your seat, observing the three men as they talked in hushed tones. 

The way they looked at each other, the subtle gestures they made, all hinted at a level of familiarity that you couldn't quite grasp. And it was seeming like the conversation lasted hours, you had already finished 3 more drinks that Satoru had faithfully fetched for you like a trained dog.

But as the conversation continued, you couldn't shake off the feeling that something wasn't quite right. The room felt too small, your brain felt muddy.

It was like being in the middle of a puzzle and not having all the pieces to put it together.

As Toji and Suguru delved even deeper into their business discussion, stacks of money and bags filled with illicit substances were scattered across the table.

You tried to distract yourself by sipping on your drink and looking around the room. But your mind kept drifting to Satoru, who was now sitting a few seats away, eyeing you with a familiar hunger in his eyes.

You couldn't help but feel a sense of unease, knowing that he had tried to pursue you romantically and rather aggressively in the past. And now, with Toji being none the wiser about your history with Satoru, you couldn't help but wonder if he would try something again.

Toji infact was so focused on the discussion that he didn’t notice you stand up and slip out of the room, turning a corner and stumbling a few feet into the empty hall so that you’d be out of sight. 

As if reading your thoughts, Satoru secretly followed behind you, his feet stopping directly in front of you.

Truthfully some part of you knew that there was something besides alcohol in those drinks, the room was swaying intensely. 

Satoru leaned over and whispered in your ear, "You look beautiful tonight, Hellfire. It's been too long since we last saw each other."

“I-it hasn’t been long’nuff” With a deep breath you internally scolded yourself for even getting up. Satoru's advances were not something you wanted to deal with, especially not tonight.

You tried to step away from him, but your legs were unsteady, and you stumbled, your back hitting the wall. Satoru took advantage of your vulnerability, pressing his body closer to yours and running his hand up your thigh.

"Stop it," you slurred, trying to push him away, but he was too strong.

"Just relax, Hellfire. It's just like old times except i’ll finally get what i’m owed," he whispered, moving his lips closer to yours.

But before he could forcibly kiss you, there was a loud banging on the wall. "Gojo what the fuck are you doing?!” Toji's voice boomed through the hall.

You let out a sigh of relief as Satoru backed away from you, giving you a sly grin before raising his arms in defeat. Toji rushed to you, his expression filled with concern as he saw you slumped against the wall.

"Are you okay? What happened?" he asked, his eyes scanning your body for any signs of harm.

You shook your head, trying to clear the fog in your mind. "I'm fine. I just needed some air," you lied, not wanting to worry him. But Toji wasn’t an idiot, he could tell you were drugged and knew Satoru goddamn Gojo was trying to take you.

Toji's grip on your arm tightened as he pulled you up from the floor. "Let's get out of here. I think it's time we called it a night. Satoru if you ever put a finger on my Fiance again I will fuckin kill you." he said, his voice firm.

Suguru was eyeing Gojo with a glare that could burn a hole through him as Toji and you walked away “Wonder what Megumi is gonna think when he finds out his girlfriend is apparently his dads Fiance.” Satoru uttered under his breath.

Toji carried you bridal style back to the extravagant room , the entire time you just kept slurring your words and falling in and out of consciousness. The only thing that made you wake up a bit was the feeling of plush blankets that made contact with your back as Toji laid you on the bed. 

He wanted to pull you out of your current catatonic state, breaking every moral boundary he had set, a vial and tiny little spoon was pulled from the bedside table, sighing as he held it up to your nose.

It must have been muscle memory because you sniffed the contents up your nose harshly, and your eyes blinked hard a few times in a row as the drugs took effect. 

"You're safe now," he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple before taking a seat near the end of the bed. "I won't let anything happen to you." Dilated pupils were fixed on Toji, a sly smile playing at your lips.

With a few adjustments and movements, you had removed your heels and were on your hands and knees crawling toward Toji. He bit his lip at the sight , the way your dress had rode up and how the fishnets clung to your legs .

You leaned into him letting your head fall onto his lap while savoring the warmth of his embrace and the scent of his cologne.

As you looked up at him with a playful glint in your eyes, a mischievous thought crossed your mind 

“I’m still a virgin in my 20’s” you blurted out your confession before shrieking with laughter. Oh, the boundaries you were crossing tonight.

Toji's eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly recovered, a smirk forming on his lips. "Is that so?" he teased, leaning in closer to you. "Well, don't worry. I can help you with that, if you want." Toji figured as much 

You felt a blush rise to your cheeks, but you couldn't deny the rush of excitement that his words sparked within you. With a nod, you leaned in to meet his lips, eager to explore the uncharted territory of intimacy behind oral and hand stuff you’d done with Megumi.

 Toji was quick to pull his phone out and connect to a speaker , letting music play, more specifically your playlist, and you were too busy pulling your dress off .

When he turned back to you he found you with a bare chest, pierced nipples pebbled and only those fishnets with panties underneath that read ‘Daddys Girl’  sitting with your legs tucked to the side , only propped up by your arm. 

His eyes traversed the contours of your face, stopping at your eyes. Looking into them, drinking the emotions that resided within them, he read you like the open book you’d become. You, on the other hand, saw the look in his eyes was animalistic, the half-lidded, manic mist which descended upon his very form. His touch trailed down your cheek, your throat, then stopped at your collarbones , a shiver running through you. 

Toji stood up and fixed himself a drink , knowing damn well that you were looking at him , confused, as he finished it quickly. The song had ended and during the brief period before the next started, the sound of your stifled breath filled the room.

“Y’sure you’re ready for this?” he questioned . His tone was different than you’d ever heard. It was as if someone else , someone evil had possessed him. Your observations would prove to be correct , his mind had finally snapped and he wanted to absolutely destroy you, make you his.

“Y-yes..” you hesitated but affirmed you did in fact still want him to free you from the mental restraints your virginity imposed upon you , and seek revenge against Megumi. 

His shirt became unbuttoned to reveal and extremely toned and muscular upper body before walking over to the bed , in front of you. 

Shaky hands of yours moved up to his pants ,the sound of his zipper coming undone by you made your stomach clench, tighten. With a shallow sigh, Toji felt freed of his garments and held his length in his large, willing hand.

Your heart stopped. He was huge - long and thick and painful, veins bulging along his shaft, leading to his throbbing, leaking, bulbous tip. You could just already tell he was going to struggle fitting it all in. 

The image of him growing impatient and slamming into you flashed in your mind. Your heart stuttered, a simultaneously tepid and baltic feeling washed through you.

“Mmh, can’t wait to see you try and take me,” Toji said, voice thick and dark, yet seductive in a fucked up way. Toji had gone through your laptop on days when you and Megumi weren’t home, he memorized the type of porn you watched and he wanted to give you exactly that.

“Be rough with me.” your lip quivered just the slightest bit , making your facade of confidence falter .

“Whats my name?” Toji crooked this thumb and index finger under your chin , forcing your to look up at him.

You paused a moment “Toji..” and then felt his other hand come up and smack your cheek hard enough the feel a sting , you moaned at it and tears prickled along your lash line.

“Try again , babygirl.”

“D-daddy?” Toji smoothed his thumb over the pinked mark on your cheek.

“Good girl.” he cooed “that's the only thing you’re allowed to call me tonight.” fingers raking through your hair . You felt instant gratification, this is what drugs felt like the first time ; you couldn’t help but make the comparison. 

Before you could get a word out Toji had pushed two of his fingers in your mouth , instinctively you began sucking on them drawing a string of praises from him , him free hand pressed you to lie flat on your back.

The fingers were removed with an audible pop “That was so goddamn sexy , babygirl.” he growled “Need to get these off before we start.” 

You wondered how he’d do it, with scissors, or bare hands–From beneath the bed, concealed, Toji withdrew a knife; thick, military and real. You gasped, tears clinging to your periphery as you felt the stimulants wearing off , the downers seeping back in and rendering you to jelly again ; useless.

 Toji’s head tilted as he poised the tip of the knife to your throat and dragged it, slowly, down the expanse of your abdomen. You tried not to breathe - tried to prevent any unwanted movement that would give the blade a chance to penetrate your skin. 

Toji‘s eyes trailed the blade. His breath shuttered as the tip came to the waistband of your fishnets. The holster of the blade was moved up and settled between his teeth as his hands made quick work of ripping your fishnets to tatters, handfuls being thrown on the floor until you were only in those panties.

Toji took the knife from his mouth and used it to trace over the lettering “Daddys girl , eh? Pretty fuckin’ accurate .” he laughed before sticking the blade back under the mattress , out of reach for you , before turning his attention back to you , sliding your panties off and sliding them into the pocket of his pants that reside on the floor. In moments notice he was on his side next to you.

Without warning his thumb pressed into your clit, forcing the beginnings of euphoria through you. “God, so small. I’m starting to wonder how i’m going to fit inside you–” he bit his lip as fear-soaked arousal sparked in your widened eyes, just visible to him as your head began to lol against his shoulder.

Toji pressed into you, forcing two fingers inside you, reminding you of who - what - you belonged to right now. Your eyes squeezed shut, a pained moan rippling through you. Even as he grew closer to your sweet spot, the weight and length of his fingers were difficult to take, especially considering how little you had been fingered. Perhaps this was how he was warming you up.

Toji’s free hand encompassed your breast with his grip, kneading it, plucking at your hardened nipple. You swallowed the gasps and whines that crawled up your throat, waiting for the right moment to pounce - to make your true arousal known. But Toji seemed to know regardless, his voice hot in your ear. “You’re soaking me, Darling,” he rasped.

★・・・★

Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto sat in the dimly lit bar, both lost in their own thoughts and distracted by their phones. Gojo's eyes flickered with a mischievous glint as he typed out a message to Megumi, relishing in the chaos and drama that was sure to ensue.

Once he hit send, he turned to Suguru with a wicked grin. "This is going to be so much fun," he chuckled, taking a sip of his drink.

Suguru raised an eyebrow, looking at Gojo with a mix of amusement and concern. "You never cease to be a complete asshole, Gojo. I hope you know what you're doing."

Gojo's grin only widened. "Of course I do. I'm always one step ahead of everyone else,besides I wanted Y/N first." he boasted, confident in his abilities to manipulate and control any situation.

As they continued to sip their drinks, Gojo's mind raced with excitement and anticipation, eager to see the fallout from his actions and the chaos that would ensue. Suguru simply tried to reel in his train of thought, hoping that Toji wouldn’t behead the two of them for this; that was his specialty after all. 

★・・・★

Megumi's phone pinged with a new message, and he instinctively reached for it, assuming it was a notification from you or one of his friends. But as he read the message from Gojo, his heart sank and a wave of anger washed over him.

He slammed his fist down on the table and stood up abruptly, causing his fellow shady coworkers to glance at him in confusion. "Excuse me, I have to go," he muttered, grabbing his coat and storming out of the warehouse.

★・・・★

➜Part 5

© ModifiedUchiha 2023 ★♡Please don't copy , paste , or plagiarize my works . Feel free to use them for inspiration , but give credit .♡★

[trulyyours-rune]

hii it's me again, I have another idea for a new order 😄

First, Reader is a member of the band and is Bill's partner, so after having a relationship for years, Reader decides to surprise Bill by proposing to him at one of his concerts, Bill was not expecting it (obviously) so he is very excited and ends up crying with emotion and everything ends very nicely and with many kisses 🤗

This one deleted on me when I was right at the end of finishing it, and omg I went crying to my best friend. But I love this one sm (seriously my inbox is blessed by you guys) <3

Warnings: Reader uses guitar, lots of fluff, Bill having stage fright (but you comfort him.), idk just fluff <3

Bill Kaulitz x Male Reader

"Come on! You already got this planned out didn't you!?" Georg complained "I'm just so nervous, what if I screw up? Or if he says no!?" Tom was tuning his guitar slightly, but honestly felt like he was trying to drain your complaints out. (He's also mad because you messed up the tune.) "Do you have the ring?" "Yeah." You took a silver & black ring from your pocket.

(what it looks like)

You shown Gustav and Georg, they examine it. "No way Bill would say no." "Yeah, weren't you and Bill in a relationship for 3 years?" Gustav questioned, tilting his head. "What if he got tired of me?" "No way, he complains and whines whenever you aren't around. I swear it's annoying." Tom rolled his eyes. You put the ring back in your pocket and picked up your guitar, it was already tuned. A nice shade of black, and a pick of your (favorite color).

Bill walked in the room, he looked tense and nervous. You took a notice at this and took his hand in yours. You rubbed your thumb on the back of his hand, he felt more relaxed, it was your way of saying; 'it's gonna be alright' he was in need of it 'cause it always seemed to be right.

"5 more minutes." The manager announced, Tom got his guitar tuned and everything was set. You could hear the roars of the thousands of fans screaming and yelling. Your heart beat faster by each minute, not by preforming. But by proposing.

The time has come for your eardrums to get broken by the screams of fangirls and regular fans. The lights went out and the crowd went quiet, the 5 of you walked on stage, soon to get blinded by the flash of the lights turning back on again. The crowd went wild, you swear you could feel the stage shake a little.

_______

(Time skip cause I have no idea what to write here 🥰)

_______

It was the closing song, Monsoon, everyone sang along. It was honestly beautiful. (Just like Bill 😍) The more Bill sang the more it became to end, so it was really just a "screw it" point. You started to walk backwards were Bill couldn't see you at the corner of his eye, so you stopped playing and flipped the guitar on your back.

Tom glanced at you a smiled, all you could do was smile back. You took the ring out of your pocket. You walked behind Bill, he was about 3 sentences away from finishing the song. Once it ended you bent down onto one knee. Bill went to look at you with a wide smile on his face, but soon had a confused look when he didn't see you.

He turned around to face you, and immediately noticed a beautiful ring and your face he could forever look at. His hand covered his mouth from how shocked he was. "Bill, I loved you everyday without ever stopping, and I never will stop. I want to wake up next to you everyday, and when I do I smile each time. So Bill, will you marry me?" You kept your smile strong, showing off the ring. Even the crowd went silent to hear his answer.

He began to form years in his eyes as slowly took his hand away from his mouth. He nodded before saying "Yes!"

The crowd went wild, you smiled wide and pulled Bill into a tight hug. (Tom was shaking Georg at the side out of excitement.) You took his hand and placed the small jewelry on, and kissing the hand right on the ring. Soon kissing his cheek. Bill put his hands over his face and dug his head into your shoulder, you noticed he was crying so you kissed him softly on the neck.

You brought him off stage and Tom was yelling "Finally!" you and Bill laughed. (Gustav was paying $20 to Georg in the corner after loosing a bet.) Bill was still holding onto you as his eyeliner was down his cheeks, his head still against your shoulder but his hands wrapped around you.

________

I had so much fun writing this for the 2nd time, and not gonna lie I think I did better on this one anyways. <3

[unhappycylinder]

Gonna Be Trouble (Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Fem!Reader) Pt. 8

wc: 3.3k

Warnings: Jake being an idiot, cursing, Gabby and Rooster being adorable,

Series Masterlist

“Gabby I just don’t know what to do,” you sobbed into the phone, “I know he said that stuff to push me away, I know it's not how he really feels, but what kind of person can say that to someone they love? He probably doesn’t even love me…”

“Y/n don’t say that,” Gabby’s comforting voice brought more tears to your eyes, “you know he loves you, we all do, but you gotta remember its Hangman we’re talking about. He doesn’t know how to love someone this much. He’s from Texas, he doesn’t know how to have feelings.”

You laughed, wiping away your tears that had pooled in the crease of your nose, “very fair.”

“I’m so sorry he did this…” Gabby stuttered, “I have no idea why. We talked to him just the same day he called you, like literally hours before, and he told Rooster that he believed in you guys…”

That only made you sob harder, “then which one is it?” You coughed, the emotions overloading you to the point you thought you might throw up.

“Sweetheart oh my god,” Gabby’s heart broke for you, and her blood ran cold thinking of Hangman and how he could hurt you like this, “I don’t think you should be alone right now”

“There’s nothing I can do about that Gabby. It’s a long weekend, I have no friends here who know anything about my personal life, I have no money to go anywhere, I’m stuck,” you ranted to her.

“Alright then I’m flying you down”

“What?” You squeaked, “Gabby you’re not doing that”

“Yeah I am,” she pulled out a computer and started typing, you just stared at her dumbfounded over the phone, “send me your TSA number honey, we’re getting you out of there”

“Gabby,” you ran your hands over your forehead, “a flight to San Diego would be like $400 this last minute, it's ridiculous. I’ll be fine, I’m not-”

“Y/n just hush. You’re my best friend, you need support, and I need to see you. Plus, my husband’s in the military, I get flight discounts, and I have access to his credit card and he’s gonna be away at sea so who’s gonna know”

“You’ve got this deployment thing down don’t you,” you laughed at her

“We’ve only been married a few months but I’ve been with this idiot for years, and not once has he questioned why thousands of dollars leave his bank account every time he goes away. Honestly I don’t think he’s smart enough to remember how much money he had before he left…” She rambled while she booked your flight, “Can you be at the airport at 6 tomorrow? Direct flight to San Diego at 8:30…Roo and I can pick you up?”

“Gabby, I mean this sincerely, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” you smiled at her,

“Suffer…probably,” she giggled, making you laugh too.

“Thank you Gabby, you’re the best”

“I know I am,” she flipped her hair, “anyway I gotta go soak up some Rooster time before he leaves for forever…”

You giggled, “I don’t want to know details…I’ll see you tomorrow, love you!”

“Love you more, go get some sleep, and don’t forget about your flight please!”

You blew her a kiss before hanging up. Luckily, the emotions from Jake’s phone call had drained you for the day, and you fell asleep pretty easily after the talk with Gabby. After all, you had a flight to catch in the morning.

—

“You better give me a big hug right now,” Gabby said as she walked towards you, arms wide open, as you exited the airport and the warm California air hit your face. Your lip quivered at the sight of your best friend, your tired arm threatening to drop your duffel bag as you embraced her and let your tears flow.

“You’re okay sweetie, you’re here now,” Gabby comforted you as she ran her fingers through your hair

“You have no idea how much this means to me,” you sobbed out, “I’m so happy to be here”

“Awww, I know,” she pulled away and grabbed your face, the widest smile across hers.

“Ladies, this is cute and all,” Rooster yelled from the car, “but this is 5 minute parking and this pilot isn’t looking to get banned from the airport anytime soon…”

“Oh calm down pendejo,” Gabby grabbed your bag from you and threw it into the trunk of the car. 

Sliding into the back seat of the car, you caught Rooster’s apologetic gaze through the rear view mirror, the sorrow in his eyes nearly making you break down again.

“Still haven’t heard anything from Hangman?” He asked, the bronco slowly moving out of the line of cars waiting to pick up passengers.

“Ay!” Gabby exclaimed, slapping the back of his head.

“What?” Rooster threw a hand up in defense, hunching over the steering wheel to avoid his wife’s swing.

“Why the fuck would you ask that?” Gabby hissed before turning around to face you, “I’m sorry honey, Mexico did a number on his brain apparently,” she joked as she muttered curses in Spanish to herself. Gabby and Rooster had just returned from a short but sweet honeymoon in Mexico, of which you heard many….maybe too many…intimate tales.

“It’s okay,” you sighed, “um I haven’t heard from him.”

Gabby and Rooster shared a knowing glance.

“Not to keep making you guys play middleman but…have you heard anything?”

“Um…” they both said in unison while staring at each other.

“You can tell me, guys, I’m pretty sure I’d rather know than not.”

Rooster sighed before turning to his wife, who then turned back around to face you.

“I wasn’t gonna tell you this cause I didn’t want you to get anxious,”

Too late, you thought to yourself.

“Jake knows you’re here…”

“Oh?” You felt a punch in your gut, the feeling of anxiety creeping into your throat as Gabby watched you process, “does he-”

“It doesn’t matter what he wants,” Gabby placed her hand on your knee, “you’re here to relax, not appease him. We’ll answer any questions you have of course, but I want you to spend this weekend how you want to, no matter what, okay?”

You sighed, questions and concerns filling your mind, “Okay,” you shook your head. Relaxing was probably the last thing you could do right now.

—

“I think I need to see him,” you muttered as Gabby helped you put your toiletries away in the guest bathroom.

Gabby sighed, “okay, whatever you want, but do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“I don’t know, is it? Did he say anything about wanting to see me?” You reclined against the bathroom counter, arms folding across your chest.

“Of course he did, Y/n, he feels like shit for breaking up with you, I know he regrets it. Rooster said his flying’s been off the past couple days, says he’s been extra dangerous, whatever that means.”

“Shit,” you panicked at the thought of him burning in, “yeah I need to talk to him”

“I’ll call him then, let him know to come by?” Gabby asked, waiting for you to decide where you wanted to meet him.

“I think I’ll just walk to his place,” you said mindlessly.

“Babe that's like a mile from here, why would you do that?”

“Give myself time to think of what to say? Time to abort the mission?” You sighed, leaving the bathroom to begin your pilgrimage to Jake’s.

“Alright, well, let me know if you need us to pick you up. I love you!”

“Love you too, wish me luck,” you yelled from the stairwell before departing.

—

Hovering your fist over Jake’s door, reality finally hit and anxiety flooded your body as you contemplated what the hell you were doing at Jake’s door three days before he deployed. 

“Y/n what the fuck?” You whispered, fist returning to your side as you promptly marched down his driveway, praying he hadn’t noticed you there.

He had.

“Y/n?” A groggy voice muttered from behind you, the Texan drawl of the man you loved barely identifiable over your own whispers. Stopping dead in your tracks, the anxiety bubbled up once again and this time threatened tears from your eyes. With a deep breath you turned around to see him.

Jake stood shirtless in his doorway, grey sweatpants clinging to his hips, his hair spiked and disheveled. The home behind him was dark, no blinds open to let in the midday sun of San Diego, and likely no ventilation for the better part of the last couple days. His eyes blinked rapidly as he adjusted to the light, the hand not clasping the doorknob shielding his green orbs as he trailed up your figure.

“Hey,” you croaked, tears beginning to slowly track your cheekbones. You didn’t move at all, you stood static on his driveway, arms crossed in front of you in a shallow attempt to comfort yourself.

“Come in baby,” he said groggily, breaking your heart to hear him call you such a loving nickname in such a tender way. The tears grew more frequent as you shook your head and walked towards him, arms still crossed until you reached the doorway and stood mere inches from him. 

He was impossible to read, but the one emotion you could identify was sympathy. Even Hangman, the hard-to-crack fighter pilot with confirmed kills, couldn’t stand to watch the woman who owned his heart stand in front of him shaking with sadness that he caused. You reached up to wipe away your tears, closing your eyes briefly, and just then you felt his strong arms around you. Jake pulled you close, nuzzling his face into your neck and stroking your back with his strong hands.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n, I’m so sorry baby,” he whispered into your hair. You cried harder, eliciting a grunt and sigh from him as the consequences of his actions finally caught up with his emotions.

“The things I said to you were-” he lifted up his head and stared upwards, searching for words, you remained nestled into his chest as you cried, “they were appalling. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything after Rooster told me you were here, I should have tried to see you. I just didn’t know what you’d want…”

“Jake-” you cut him off, peeling yourself off his bare chest to gaze into his eyes which were now also brimming with tears, “we need to talk about this stuff”

He nodded. You needed answers, he needed reassurance, talking was the only thing you could do. He let go of you and welcomed you into the house. Just as you had expected, he hadn’t opened a single window in the whole home, the air stagnant and dark, and the smell of dirty dishes beginning to creep through the building. You walked over to his couch, sitting down on the warm fabric that had obviously been the host of his body for the past couple days. He sat next to you, knees barely grazing yours as you sat in silence for a brief moment.

“Jake, do you remember what you told me on the beach at the beginning of the summer?”

“That I loved you?”

The past tense stung.“No, the part about you burning in, about what Phoenix was saying about you being safer…”

“Oh,” he glanced downwards, “yeah I do”

“Jake, you told me that you were flying safe because you were scared of losing me, that you were scared you’d miss out on our life, on our memories. You told me you wanted to see where we end up, and that our love motivated you to be a better pilot,” you fiddled with his fingers as you spoke, “and Rooster told me you haven’t been flying safe lately,” your throat choking up the more you thought of him being careless, “and I just don’t get why,” you finally sobbed.

The sound of your voice breaking finally brought Jake’s attention to you, concern and pity filling his eyes as he watched you struggle to explain yourself.

“I don’t get why you push me away. I don’t get why you tell me one thing and then do another. I don’t get why you put yourself in danger for no reason, why you put your career and your life on the line….to what? To prove some point?” Tears pooled on your cheeks while your eyes searched the room for some semblance of comfort. “The things you said when you broke up with me hurt, they hurt me to my core, but the thought of you throwing your life away out of spite hurts even more.”

Jake was speechless, his green eyes glassy under scrunched eyebrows as he finally felt the pain you had been enduring because of him.

“The life I want is the life I share with you. And I went into this relationship knowing distance and deployment and all that shit would be a factor. You did too. I’m prepared to go through anything for you…because I want those memories, Jake. I want to hold you and kiss you and dream of you while you’re gone. I want to move into your stupidly undecorated house on base when I graduate and be here for you every night when you come home,” you gestured to his bare walls, eliciting a small chuckle and nod from the hard-to-crack military man who had tears dropping from his eyes.

“God Jake the love I feel for you is endless. I gave you my heart, I gave you myself, don’t give those things back to me.” You stopped talking, the emotions overwhelming you to the point where you removed your hand from his and tucked your knees up in front of you, bundling yourself into a ball while Jake processed everything you said.

“I think…” he began, his eyes searching every part of the room except where you were, “I think we should take some time to think about all this,” he slowed down as he said the last few words.

Your tears dried up, shock overtaking the sadness. You didn’t expect this, you didn’t expect him to mean the things he said, to mean that he didn’t want to be with you.

“So you meant it?” You questioned, eyes finally meeting his.

“What?” He asked quietly

“You meant the things you said. The things about us? About me?”

“No, Y/n. I’m sorry for the things I said to you. They were hurtful and wrong and downright disrespectful. You’re a sweetheart and I’m sorry. I just mean I don’t think it's smart for us to jump into things right now, not with my deployment and your school.”

“What are you saying,” you cut him off.

“I think maybe we should just wait to date or something, til I’m back…”

“Jake,” your voice cracked, “I can’t do that,” you sobbed.

“You don’t think it's a good idea?” He asked earnestly.

“I’m gonna be waiting for you either way. I’d rather be waiting as your girlfriend than just some girl who's heartbroken and doesn’t even know if the man she loves loves her back.”

“You’re not some girl, Y/n, you’re my girl,” he rubbed your arm.

Shrugging him off as the confusion overwhelmed you, “no I’m not Jake. You broke up with me, you told me we should wait. Those don’t exactly go hand in hand with being ‘your girl,” you stood up to leave, he stared at you bewildered, “I’m leaving. You need to make up your mind, I’m tired of being confused about how you feel about me.”

You walked through the dark house to his door, opening it and letting the harsh California light hit the living room where he still sat on the couch, eyes never leaving your frame. 

“Good luck on your deployment, Jake,” and with that you took one last look at him and left the house, closing the door behind him. As you walked away, you held out for the possibility that he would open the door and come running out with an apology. But he didn’t. You walked the whole way back to Gabby’s without a word…without an ounce of clarity…just confusion like you had never felt before.

—

The remainder of the weekend went by without a word from Jake. Occasional glances from Rooster after he got a text or got off the phone let you know that, per usual, you were the only person out of the loop when it came to your relationship issues. Nevertheless, going through this breakup without Gabby would have been impossible, and her support meant the world to you.

Monday came around and it was time for the pilots to leave. The debate of whether or not to go had lived in the back of your mind for the better part of the weekend, eating away at you when you tried to close your eyes. Ultimately, after lots and lots of thinking, you had decided not to go for multiple reasons. For one, it gave Gabby and Rooster time alone during a special moment…and it also gave you the upper hand over Hangman. Despite what he told you, you knew Jake, and you knew he’d expect you to be there to wave him off. 

“You sure you don’t want to come, honey?” Rooster asked you as he walked by the couch where you reclined in their living room, dressed in his flight suit.

“Yeah I’m sure,” you sighed, sitting up to face him. “I know he’s gonna expect me to be there. And I want to be there for him…but I can’t let myself keep getting hurt. I can’t let him know that he can keep hurting me and I’ll come crawling back…”

“You know, as much as I love Jake, and as long as I’ve known him,” Rooster began, “I think you’re doing the right thing. You’re showing him you’re prioritizing yourself, which is important. He’s an asshole, he needs to be put in his place.”

“He is an asshole isn’t he,” you and Rooster laughed together.

“Alright honey,” Rooster ruffled your hair, the nickname he always called you by making you smile, “I’m outta here. I’ll keep my lips sealed to Jake for a bit, but you know how to reach me if you want me to tell him anything, okay?”

He grabbed his bags, “or if you just want to chat, I’d like that too.”

“Bradley!” Gabby’s piercing voice ran out from upstairs, “we’re gonna be late if you don’t hurry the fuck up!”

“Down here, baby!” He yelled back.

Gabby came running downstairs, “You’re ready before me?” She asked out of breath.

“Yeah?” Rooster said sassily, “why are you so shocked by that?”

You giggled at the couple, making Gabby sneer at you.

“Don’t you dare laugh with him,” she pointed at you, making you and Rooster laugh harder. She sighed before walking down and embracing her husband.

“You can’t wear this flight suit in the home, Brashdaw, otherwise you’ll be late to everything…” she flirted before kissing him, his hands gripping her hips.

“I love you, Gabby,” he kissed her again.

“Y'all are gonna make me throw up, go get on a boat or something Roo,” you pretended to gag as you got up from the couch.

“Bye Y/n,” Rooster said, letting go of Gabby briefly to give you a hug and kiss on the forehead, “don’t be a stranger”

“Back at ya.” you gave him a smile, “don’t like die or anything….Gabby would kill you”

Your friend laughed, giving you a brief nudge before opening the front door for Rooster. She shot you a quick wink before closing the door behind her, the sound of the bronco starting not long after. 

And with that, you sat back down on the couch, left with your own thoughts and the slightest feeling of regret and worry beginning…what if you never got to say goodbye?

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