#my biggest problem is i humor people like this for too long bc it's been normalized behavior to me

[stuckinapril]

lived my whole life in guilt bc i thought i was responsible for people's feelings. newly realizing that other people are responsible for their feelings and reactions, even if they make it seem like i'm the problem. a lot of the time it really has to do w them and their own emotional regulation. i can't keep thinking i'm not allowed to have space bc of other people's insecurities. like i literally refuse to dim myself. other people are responsible for their feelings just as i'm responsible for mine.

[uwumessenger]

random headcanons i have for each om! character teehee

hi it's been a while since ive posted some hcs bc uni has been kicking my a$$! luckily i only have a few papers to tidy up and im done. here r some hcs for each obey me character that ive accumulated over the past few months wink wonk

most are random but some constants you'll find are what i think they smell like, languages they can speak (other than their native (demon/angel) and eng/jp), and music tastes !

lucifer

i have a strong feeling that he showers twice a day: in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed

his cologne is probably the type that will last in an elevator for like a week after he uses it once. i dont think this mf ever smells like anything other than his cologne

has a secret folder on his phone of semi-nudes and other scandalous pics from when he felt sexy at the time omg

aside from demon language/eng/jp he can speak french and knows latin

listens to classical stuff yea but he also listens to diavolos mixtapes (re: diavolo's section)

not a fan of sweets but will eat sweet things when craving

really bland sense of humor...borderline cringey 😭✋🏻

mammon

has gone to google images and searched for "inspirational quotes tumblr" "gold aesthetic tumblr" & "relatable crush post tumblr" then reposts it onto his socials or just taps thru them and giggles bc he relates

his cologne doesnt last as long as lucifers and probably smells common. he has to reapply a lot but it's a people pleasing smell. it's cheaper hence the constant reapplying

he probably does have an expensive bottle but is the type to totally overspray...eek

he is canonically a car guy 🥲 and probably tells the one in his room good morning & good night + kisses the hood every once in a while. has tons of car magazines

he doesnt really speak other languages but has attempted to learn spanish before

listens to whatever is on the radio. doesnt rly stan anyone but he eventually will listen to mc's playlist and mc's playlist ONLY

levi

lurks on mc's socials ALL THE TIMEEEE like he will rewatch ur stories and scroll thru ur feed and overanalyze ur tweets/rts or blog posts. if ur mc isnt the type to use sns much he still googles ur name all the damn time just to find any sites u might be on fjdjdjdjskks

probably streams on whatever youtube or twitch devildom site equivalent there is, but only has like 40 or so followers. which he is okay with!

until he sees someone else who gets more attention than him. then the envy starts kicking in bad. especially if they suck 🧍🏻‍♀️

classic gamer boy smell. you know, sweat, tears, must, and (sometimes) axe deodorant. lucifer has to do a scent check before he goes out to any event & lets him use his cologne. how sweet!

kpop stan!! more girl groups than anything and his ults are probably GIRLS GENERATION, wonder girls, twice, loona, & red velvet

cried when ioi disbanded and refused to leave his room. the only thing u could hear was downpour on loop at full blast

can also speak korean & communicate in echolocation like dolphins 😏

satan

listens to country music you cant change my mind

smells like whatever environment he is in. he doesnt really have a designated smell just throws some deodorant on and goes about his day.

he's sooooo bad at driving...gets road rage way too often so his license has been REVOKED

but hes totally a backseat driver. needs to be sedated on long trips

do not let him watch finding nemo when luke asks to watch it. it's not worth it. he will cause mass destruction.

if he was a human or lived long term in the human world he totally has the ability to be a doctor

is studying as many languages as possible, but he mostly knows latin & french & german etc etc. wants to learn all the dead languages out of curiousity

asmo

dont think this mf has ever held down a relationship. ever

he doesnt compromise much & is not willing to change his lifestyle to fit an s/o into it. you keep up with how he lives or it just isnt meant to be (but dont worry! he'll eventually learn...maybe,,,,)

has the hardest time out of everyone when it comes to breaking bad habits

his smell varies bc he uses a variety of perfumes (whatever is the most popular at the time) but he probably sticks to floral and fresh scents. he never uses generic people pleaser scents like mammon

listens to electropop, mainstream pop, & some alternative rock

as for languages he too knows french, spanish, italian, etc. in general, if it's a romance language he knows it!

opposite of lucifer in the sense where he loves sweets and will refrain from eating too many bitter things

i think we all know that asmo is the biggest rockstar of the group! he's probably been in a boy band at least once, but now he makes his own music

has tried to teach mammon how to sing once. ended up in a broken piano and bleeding ears...

beel

i feel like he is SO SHY

like unless ur close to him he will not start conversations or anything

i think he listens to r&b a lot ! and jazz 😎 maybe rock as well

smells like ur typical athlete with undertones of wet wipes. he carries them around bc he likes to clean his hands before he eats & is prepared for when theres no sink nearby

he can drive and he drives really well. no rough turns, parallel parks perfectly, and never has problems with merging

driving with beel is probably really soothing. left hand is steering the other is gripping ur thigh 😫

dont think hes really fluent in any other language but hes probably semi fluent in korean because levi wanted beel to help him out

definitely know how to order food in practically every language tho HAHAHA

belphie

he reminds me of randall from monsters inc

smells kinda musty IM SORRY but not the way levi does hes more like the kind of musty u feel or smell when it's a shitty morning

but that's only because hes so lazy, when he cleans up hes like satan

has definitely murdered multiple people before. mc is not the first 😐✋🏻

with that being said belphie has been put into prison at least twice when visiting the human world, the mf had such a strong hatred for humans theres no way he never got into trouble before

lucifer probably broke him out and they used the pen thingies from men in black to erase everyones memory of that 🙄

dont think he listens to anything other than music that'll put him to sleep. really likes lazy song by bruno mars but thinks that bruno mars put too much effort into the song. should have been one acapella verse and then finish

similar to beel hes only semi fluent in one language, probably french bc of lucifer. doesnt remember much but knows a couple of lullabies and bedtime stories

the sandman used to be his bff until they drifted. they do, however, like and comment on each other's sns posts.

diavolo

once he found out who nicki minaj was he became her #1 stan

def an ariana grande stan too 😌

choreographs dances when hes stressed...idk just seems like a diavolo thing to do

also makes rly bad soundcloud rap music sometimes. turns to poetry when hes feeling emo but only lucifer knows this. barbatos is suspicious of him but doesnt have enough evidence to confirm.

his dad is like hudson abadeer from adventure time aka marceline's dad? something must have influenced him to want to unite the 3 realms + he would need the approval to do so, so his dad must be more chill than all the others before him 🧍🏻‍♀️ IDK ok anyway

currently going through his hamilton phase bc of mc. whether mc's intent was to get him hooked onto it or just to explain it bc of something he saw online, he tells everyone that he found out abt it bc of mc!

this man cannot drive his skills are only second to jumin han

not too fond of many languages but knows the widely spoken ones like spanish, mandarin, etc. if it's taught in high school he knows it

smells like a las vegas casino. not sure why but i feel like he does. but there's also an interesting & nice smell to him if he embraces you. it's a smell you cant quite identify. but it smells nostalgic, it's mysterious, and it's tempting.

barbatos

very calm demeanor but underneath hes WILD hes probably done everything at least once oof

he just has a lot of control and stability over himself (must be nice!)

on a more angsty note i feel like he might have had his heartbroken sO BAD IDK he is hurting and maybe that's why hes so willing to obey diavolo and not abuse his time lord power thingies bc he learned his lesson the hard way

mans is so smart he knows every language you could switch languages mid conversation with him and he wouldnt be thrown off. he'd probably start speaking it too.

BUT HE SPEAKS VIET P E R F E C T L Y

listens to the same stuff as lucifer but also likes eminem. likes the movie 8 mile but criticized it heavily

have you ever been to a chinese herb shop? naturally, he smells like that. his room probably smells like it too. he doesnt really have a significant smell like some of the others

when he bakes he smells like whatever hes baking tho

one of the few out of everyone listed to have been able to travel to literally everywhere

solomon

was probably on kitchen nightmares once, but only to get feedback from chef gordon ramsay. then he used his magic to prevent the episode from airing...

was in an orchestra, one of the best times of his life. played the violin. asmo watched him in the audience once, but didnt approach him until well after that performance.

he CANNOT sing. he can, however, rap.

doesnt listen to music. he listens to podcasts! but every now and then he turns on background music, but prefers it to be instrumental stuff

never wears sunglasses. also does not have a driver's license. cannot drive a regular car. could maybe fly an airplane.

due to his immortality he has learned almost every language to exist, but finds himself speaking mandarin the most. knows most dialects too

similar smell to barbatos but u can also smell some sunscreen on him too. like, generic beach day suncreen

he has a lot of pact marks, so he once had the idea to match foundation to his skin. it took him two weeks but he eventually perfected a combination. yes he will help u find ur perfect shade if u ask him to

simeon

another country music man. has also made a tiktok or two to that one song that goes "he cant even bait a hook." they are private tho

angel country music exists and simeon invented it

if he visits the human world and wears more causal clothing he probably tucks his shirt into his pants

wears a speedo at the beach i tell u, speedo at the beach

he can speak german...i can feel it

uses his pointer finger to type and holds the phone like 2 inches away from his face so sometimes his nose will push a key hence all his typos

has no signature smell. he simply smells like your favorite scent all the time. if multiple people are around him at once, everyone smells a different smell. it's pretty rad

"what does he smell like to himself?" u may be asking. hmm...a church? 💀

luke

his first pet was a goldfish and a few months before the exchange program happened, he was given a koi pond!

secretly likes hanging out with levi sometimes just to play with henry. makes him miss his pet fish back home

so his favorite movie is probably finding nemo and he threw a fit when nemo touched the butt

luke is probably learning german bc of simeon, though he'd like to learn more of the dead languages just for fun

i dont think he listens to music often or has any preferences, he just listens to whatever is playing on the radio

but he finds himself listening to the music mc listens to

smells like freshly baked goods all the time. or fresh laundry. but like, not combined. just depends on the day

[sugaxela]

AN ACCIDENTAL FIC REC LIST

So.. I’m a lurker who reads a lot of fics and I get annoyed when I can’t relocate my fave ones. I started making this list of my faves mostly for myself but then figured I’d share it...

I’m Yoongi biased and gravitate towards angst fics so it’s mostly that but there’s fics for every member tossed in here. Some of these are pretty popular so you might have seen a few. 

Also, I realized I need to read more Jin, Jimin, and Hoseok fics so if you have recommendations let me know!

Once again it’s a LOT of angst so I would just like to say... CRYING IS GOOD FOR U.

***

KSJ

Start Anew - @gukyi

Seokjin x Reader. Angst. Summary: it’s been five years since you left your hometown, vowing never to return, but a simple invitation to a christmas party and a yearning to know whether or not you’re truly over the heartbreak you left behind has you wondering if, maybe, the christmas spirit and promise of a new beginning can change your mind.

No Limit - @sailorbellewrites

Seokjin x Reader. Fluff. Summary: you and jungkook don’t even look alike. how was seokjin supposed to know you were off limits?

Lovely Little Mess - @guksheart

Seokjin x Reader. Fluff, smut. Summary: telling seokjin of your pregnancy should not be so daunting, but you hide it  as long as you can—at least until you are sitting with him in a bathtub and the secret comes spilling out. 

No Parking - @jungshookz

Seokjin x Reader. Fluff. Summary: “to the asswipe who owns this mini cooper - do you know how to read signs? this is a no-parking zone. no. parking. zone. that means you are not allowed to park in this zone. DO NOT park here.” (also I made up the title bc it doesn’t have one)

MYG

Seasons Change - @taetaesbaebaepsae

Yoongi x Reader. Angst. Summary: Min Yoongi and you, through the seasons, break up and come back together. Nobody said love was easy.

I’ll Float Away - @ppersonna

Yoongi x Reader. Angst. Summary: years after the breakup, yoongi, a successful award-winning rapper with an unhealthy addiction, finds your wedding invite on Facebook.

Memory Lane - @hayjeon

Yoongi x Reader. Fluff. Summary: grumpy husband yoongi au aka lots of fluff (mentions of sex)

Do It Again - @kimnjss

Yoongi x Reader. Angst. Summary: months after deciding to end their three year long relationship, a sex tape hits the internet. fans go wild speculating that rap star, min yoongi and aspiring model, yn are the stars. old feelings arise as the couple try to figure out a way out of this.

Cuddles and Kittycats - @dinoyoongi

Yoongi x Reader. Fluff, angst. Summary: After a night of drinking, you go to Yoongi’s dorm for some quality cuddles. Unfortunately, you’ve forgotten that you are currently giving him the silent treatment.

Overstayed Welcome - @kkaep-jjjang

Yoongi x Reader - Fluff, smut. Summary: Y/N decides to get over her crush by getting under someone else. Sounds fool proof right? Wrong.

Ghosted - @bloomsuga

Yoongi x Reader. SM AU. Summary: your new roommate is everything you could ask for: quiet, never makes messes, a killer dry sense of humor... and oh yeah—he’s dead.

Wildest Moments - @joonbird

Yoongi x Reader. Angst. Summary: “Min Yoongi is forbidden territory. And although you both know better, the two of you just can’t seem to stay apart.”

Romance is Dead - @dinoyoongi

Yoongi x Reader. Angst, fluff. Summary: You try to surprise Yoongi with a night full of romance but he manages to ruin all of your plans.

Fools Rush In - @sailorbellewrites

Yoongi x Reader. Drabble series. Summary: min yoongi, music executive and perpetual bachelor, marries a las vegas stripper he’s only known for six months. chaos ensues.

Pretend - @gimmesumsuga

Yoongi x Reader. Angst. Summary: “You know what they say: the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, right?” 

Aquiver - @floralseokjin

Yoongi x Reader. Idol AU. Summary: Yoongi can’t remember the last time he was able to successfully bring himself to the point of orgasm, then Namjoon gives him a business card advertising ‘Healing Hands’, and that’s where he meets you; pretty and innocent looking, who gets paid to provide hand jobs for a living…

Hidden Stars - @jungblue

Yoongi x Reader, Jungkook x Reader. Angst. Summary: It started out simple, but when your feelings start to grow for the idol who isn’t allowed to date, things get complicated.

Talk To Me - @btsrpp

Yoongi x Reader. Fluff, angstyish. No summary. But it involves a silent treatment.

No Title - @jungxk

Yoongi x Widow!Reader. Angst. No summary.

JHS

Hobi’s Girl - @v-hope

Hoseok x Reader. SM Au. Summary: after attending a bts concert and very clearly catching one of the members’ attention, you can’t help but get flooded with hate comments once people find your twitter account. who would’ve thought that would be the reason jung hoseok would find his concert girl, too.

Bloom - @jungxk

Hoseok x Reader. Smut. Summary: you’ve always had a crush on hobi and he’s always handled that gently. what he can’t handle is you now, nine years later. 

Blue Side - @minyoongone

Hoseok x Reader. SM AU. Summary: when you get a text from a heartbroken boy who you mistake for your ex

KNJ

Confirm or Deny - @dinoyoongi

Namjoon x Reader. Angst. Summary: You’re a member of the rising group FRNZEE. You’ve been dating Namjoon for years when Dispatch releases an article exposing your relationship. Your company confirms the relationship. Big Hit denies it.

You’ve Got That - @mikrksmos

Namjoon x Reader. Angst. Summary: After making a life-changing decision for your career, you’re unsure of how exactly to bring it up to your boyfriend after your relationship and communication has not really been in sync. Namjoon is ready to take this relationship to the next stage, and he is sure that what he needs to ask you will be the solution to all the problems you have been having. Both know this next move is the right idea, but are unaware of how parallel those ideas really are.

Duck and Cover - @versigny

Namjoon x Reader. Fluff. Summary: There were two things you never dreamed would become your biggest worries with your new job: Kim Namjoon, and that god damn camera.

Inked - @1997jk

Namjoon x Reader. heavy angst, slow burn, soulmate au. (no summary).

Try Me - @jjkfire

Namjoon x Reader. Fluff. Summary: You wanted nothing more than to leave behind your old self when you graduated from high school and moved on to college to play rugby but when you see your high school classmate, resident fuckboy and captain, Kim Namjoon, at the rugby department orientation, you feel like everything might fall apart.

Stitches - @glassbangtan

Namjoon x Reader. Angst. Summary: People always said getting married at a young age was a mistake - could they have been right?

All In - @kookiesjoonies

Namjoon x Reader. SM AU. Summary: you aren’t usually one to give out your number to strangers (let alone customers), but after you start talking to Namjoon and getting to know him, you decide that there’s no way you’re going to let him leave without it. however, he fails to mention that he’s one of the most popular rappers in South Korea. and it just so happens that one of your best friends ends up with an extra ticket to one of his shows. 

PJM

Come Home to Me Darling - @roses-ruby

Jimin x Reader. Angst. Summary: Jimin cheats and you try to make him stay. But whatever you do, it’s never enough.

Attention and Care - @your-daily-biaswrecking

Jimin x Reader. Fluff, angstish. Summary: Jimin must be the only person in the world who complains about his girlfriend not complaining... When Amy doesn't pester him to come home early (like the rest of the members) he starts thinking she might not care for him as much.

Daisies - @silverlightqueen

Jimin x Reader. SM AU. Summary: You’ve had a long-running feud with fellow idol Park Jimin, saving all the anger and bitterness for the yearly award shows and shooting each other a few dirty looks, not bowing when you walk past each other, or just generally throwing shade. After one particularly obvious encounter between the two of you, the fans start to notice, just in time for The Rose Tour!

Doubt - @heartkook

Jimin x Reader. Fluff, angst. Summary: Jimin gets jealous of your relationship with Jungkook, and needs reassuring that he’s the only one you love.

KTH

Of Lace and Lust - @hobidreams

Taehyung x Reader. Smut. Summary: friendship rule number one: don’t imagine how amazing your best friend’s cock would feel inside you. except that’s all you can think about after accidentally discovering taehyung’s kink for panties. specifically, the lacy ones you’re so fond of wearing. 

Queen Cobra - @fantasybangtan

Taehyung x Reader. Gang AU. Summary: when your boss offers the chance to take down the nation’s most lucrative gang from the inside out, you know you’ll do it no matter what the cost… even if that means entering an arranged marriage with the kingpin himself.

See You - @gimmesumsuga

Taehyung x Reader. Smut. Summary: The one where Taehyung notices you at a concert, and can't help but want to see you again.

Who Cares? - @floralseokjin

Taehyung x OC. Angst. Summary: what happens when Taehyung falls for someone who’s already taken? Can he control his feelings or will they take over and render him powerless? In the end is it all her fault or his…?

Color of Your Shirt - @firebettercallnct

Taehyung x Reader. SM AU. Summary: when you're close to your soulmate your shirt changes to their favorite color. yn hates taehyung's favorite color.

JJK

Comfort Inn Ending - @joonbird

Jungkook x Reader. Angst. Summary: “It was you who Jungkook gave his heart to- that is, until the day you broke it. And it is you now, hoping that some faultlines can be repaired, and that some broken hearts can be put back together again.”

After I Left You - @latetaektalk

Jungkook x Reader. Angst. Summary: “when you decided to meet up with taehyung for dinner to reconnect, you didn’t expect to see jungkook, your ex, on a date with his current girlfriend and not to mention, end up fake dating taehyung.”

Rattled - @gukslut

Jungkook x Reader. Genre: Single dad AU, Angst, Healing, E2L, F2L, Smut. (no summary)

Risk It - @kookiesjoonies

Jungkook x Reader. Sm Au. Summary: a drunken text ends with you wrapped up in the arms of your ex-boyfriend. aka the man that you dumped two years prior, after he refused to marry you. suddenly, all of the feelings that you’d seemingly had buried come rushing back up to the surface, and you’re not sure how long you can ignore them.

Damn the Delivery Boy - @deerguk

Jungkook x Reader. Fluff. Summary: Jeon Jeongguk is a computer science major working as a pizza delivery boy, and you are an uninspired published author who has just started an art degree. When you realise that the delivery boy is your old high school crush, he keeps coming back, but with more to offer than just puff pastry and vegetarian supreme. Though little did he know that he would end up giving you something much more that flips both of your worlds completely upside down in the form of two blue lines and nine months.

One Thing Right - @hobios

Jungkook x Reader. Angst, fluff. Summary: desperate to get your ailing mother into the best care possible, you ask your childhood friend turned enemy to marry you for his health insurance benefits. the only problem is it’s illegal. and he’s the sheriff. and you swore to hate him since the day he broke your best friend’s heart.

Hidden Stars - @jungblue

Jungkook x Reader, Yoongi x Reader. Angst. Summary: It started out simple, but when your feelings start to grow for the idol who isn’t allowed to date, things get complicated. 

Tamped - @chimoona

Jungkook x Reader. Smut, fluff. Summary: You and your business partner/best friend Jin have struggled to find good help to run your coffee shop. Employee after employee, it just never worked out. However, Jungkook is determined to impress and deliver. He wants this more than ever, and it always feels good to want something. To need, well, that’s even better.

Strawberry Kisses - @kimnjss

Jungkook x Reader. SM AU. Summary: an online dating app pairs him with the perfect girl. the two quickly start falling for each other and when things are getting good, he finds out she’s his best friend’s little sister.

Crush - @jungxk

Jungkook x Reader. Fluff, light angst. No summary, amnesiac jk.

Look Alive - @jamaisjoons

Jungkook x Reader. Angst. Summary: a year after you and jungkook break up, the two of you meet at your brother’s party.

***

I got a lot of these from some fic rec master lists.

Here’s a namjoon angst master list by @bts-ficrecs

Also this bts fic rec list by @platinumjeon

An infidelity list by @hellreads

Fic-Recs by @joonapeach

Top fics compilation by @xjoonchildx

There’s more but I’ll add those when I find them, and I’ll either update this list or make a new one when I have enough new fics.

[ipuckwithhockey]

I’d Rather Rescue Myself - Travis Konecny

a/n: Did I write this based on the Cheetah Girls hit, Cinderella? bc I did. no I didn’t. I don’t think this will surprise anyone but this is kind of angsty and dramatic, but I think it’s cute in the end. Let me know what you think :)

Warnings: Single mom, cursing, drinking, angst, a little bit of anxiety, I think that’s it

——

When I was just a little girl, my momma used to tuck me into bed

She read me a story

It always was about a Princess in distress and how a guy would save her 

End up with the glory

Your mom was a hopeless romantic. She fell hard and fast for the men that came in and out of her life. She wasn’t running around being reckless or anything, she just loved being in love. She loved the honeymoon phase and she loved the idea of finding her prince charming.  

Your dad left when you were just a baby, but your mom didn’t harbor on the loss. That was another thing about your mom— she was an undying optimist. She said that her relationship with your father wasn’t meant to be, and that her real prince charming was somewhere out there waiting to find her.

You actually believed all the elaborate bedtime stories she told you for a while. You thought you too would find your prince charming who would sweep you off your feet and rescue you from the harsh realities of your average Philadelphia life.

Your mom did eventually find Steve, a real-estate broker, that made her very happy. You liked Steve. He was nice and had a good job, and really did care for your mom. They’ve been married almost two years now, and you’ve never seen your mom happier. Maybe she was right, her prince charming was waiting out there for her, except he wasn’t in a castle or riding a horse into the sunset, he was just trying to decide which slice and bake cookies he should get for his open house. That’s how they met. In the freezer section of the grocery. Your mom helped him decide on one pack of sugar and one pack of chocolate chip, they exchanged numbers, and the rest is history.

Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me

I don't wanna be like Cinderella

Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar

Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free

You really tried to be optimistic. You would put yourself out there, go on dates, and even had a couple serious relationships throughout college. There was just one problem— they never worked out. You were always left heartbroken. So your senior year of college you decided that you had had enough. 

You were done feeling sorry for yourself. You were smart and driven and didn’t need a man to rescue you. You had a great internship that would hopefully turn into a job after graduation and you were the top of your class. You weren’t going to let another boy come in and distract you from your goals. So you swore off boys. It’s not that you didn’t want to find someone eventually, you just didn’t have the time or energy to bother with them now. This was time to focus on you.

That year you met Travis Konecny and his band of brothers from the Philadelphia Flyers. Your roommate, Katie, had hooked up with Joel Farabee a couple of times but they ultimately decided they were better off as just fiends. You and Travis became quick friends. You had a similar sense of humor and even though he was the worlds biggest, dumbest redneck, you had a soft spot for the kid. He was busy with hockey and didn’t have time for a relationship, and so he understood why you didn’t want one either. 

Soon started the movie nights and casual hang outs. You even started to teach him how to cook. You would admit that he was very handsome (when he showered and properly groomed himself), but you were just friends. It was never anything else. Neither of you wanted it to be anything else.

You both had had other hookups and occasionally a date, and you would laugh together over how bad they were afterward, saying “see, this is why i don’t need a relationship.”

That was almost two years ago. You did end up graduating at the top of your class, and the internship did turn into an amazing job. You worked hard and were hopefully in line for a big promotion at the end of the month.

You lived on your own now, but Katie just lived a block away. Shortly after her and Joel decided to remain friends she met Chris. He was a great guy and they recently moved in together.  You were really happy for Katie and all of your friends who had found great guys to settle down with. You were only 23 but it seemed like most of your friends had found their match, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t bother you.

It’s not that you wanted to get hitched and have a baby right this second, you were still very young, but the thought of having a caring boyfriend to come home to was something you just couldn’t get out of your head lately.

Someday, I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart and mind

Who's not afraid to show that he loves me

Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am

Don't need nobody taking care of me

Now you found yourself on Travis’ couch ranting about how all of your college friends were taking their boyfriends to Katie’s birthday party this weekend. Again, you were happy for them, you really were! But you didn’t want to be the only single one there. It was one thing to get a sad look from your mom when she asked you if you were seeing anyone, it was another thing to get sad looks from about a dozen of your friends. You knew they just wanted you to find someone who made you happy, but you hadn’t yet, and there wasn’t anything that could change that.

“I just wish I could find someone who wants me for me, you know? Someone who gets that my career is just as important as his, and who understands that when I say I don’t want anything to eat I actually do, I’m just too hard headed to admit it!” You were ranting on about the perfect guy, and all Travis could think was that he was that guy.

He would show up at your door out of the blue because he knew the “work’s been busy, just gonna go home and get some stuff done” reply to his hang out invitation actually meant “I’ve never been as stressed as I am right now, and haven’t eaten in 12 hours, and I could really use a hug.” He was always there for you, and you were always there for him. People didn’t always understand your relationship, and last year when Travis started dating a girl, she became so jealous of your friendship. Eventually, Travis ended it when she asked him to choose between her or you. There really wasn’t any contest. He would choose you every time. That was when he realized he had some serious feelings for you. Travis wasn’t good with feelings, and as much as he wanted to tell you he loved you, he didn’t want to mess with your friendship. It was too important to him, and up until recently you had been pretty dedicated to your no relationship lifestyle.

So instead of telling you how much he loved you and how he was the guy who valued your career and goals just as much as his own, he just offered to go with you to the party in question, “Well I’ll go with you. I like your friends, and then I’ll also get the sad looks because I too am single and lonely, so you won’t be alone.”

You laugh, Travis was right, you would probably have a good time if was there. You always have a good time when he’s around, and your friends like him too. They know you’re just friends but they never hesitate to give you a hard time about how you’ll end up together one day. You know he’s not into you like that, but that doesn’t stop you from wondering what it would be like to one day call him yours.

“Hello???? Is anyone home?” He’s waving his hands in front of you after you zoned out thinking about how great it would be to come home to him after a long day at work,

“Oh yeah, sorry, that would actually be great. You don’t have to, I know I’ve been annoying lately with all the work talk and complaining about relationshi-“

“Don’t worry about it. The party will be fun, we haven’t been out together in forever. And I know you’re stressed, even though you shouldn’t be. There’s no way you’re not getting that promotion. That doucheface, Jack is barely smart enough to do his current job, there’s no way they would give him the promotion over you.”

“His name is Jake, but yes he is a doucheface and even though I may be more qualified, he has been at the company longer than me so there’s a good chance he’ll get it just based on that.”

“You worry too much. You’re gonna get it, and we’re all gonna celebrate when you do.”

I can slay, my own dragon

I can dream, my own dreams

My knight in shining armor is me

So now it was Friday night, and you found yourself next to Travis in a crowded bar that Katie had picked for her birthday celebration. You had had the longest week known to man, and all you really wanted to do was sleep. But alas, you were here and trying to have a good time.

Travis had been great the whole night, socializing with your friends, make his stupid jokes, and getting you drinks. You really did appreciate him coming, but something just felt off. He has always been a touchy guy but it seemed like he had his arm around you more than usual tonight, and when he talked to your friends he would say “we” when referring to the two of you. It felt too domestic, and if felt too claustrophobic.

Even his praises when the group asked about your work annoyed you. You didn’t know if you were just on edge from work or if Travis’ overstepping was really getting to you.

You needed a minute to yourself so excused yourself to get another drink.

“Sit down, I got it,” Travis stands to get you another drink, and that’s when you start to lose it. In the back of your mind you know he’s just being nice, but you’re already seeing red and nothing can stop you now.

“I am perfectly capable of getting my own drink, and I really don’t need a man to babysit me all night, so you can sit down, and I’ll get it for myself.”

You turn and head for the door of the bar, not caring that your friends, and Travis, are all staring at you completely taken aback by what just came flying out of your mouth.  You make it outside, needing a minute in the cold winter air, before Travis catches up to you.

“What the hell is going on? Did I do something?”

“Travis. I really appreciate you trying to ‘take care of me’ of whatever it is you’re trying to do, but I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it a long time, there’s no reason why I can’t continue to do so.”

You’re being mean now. You know it, but it’s not stopping you. You can’t help but push him away because it feels easier to just deny the feelings you know you have. The hurt in Travis’ eyes almost makes you take it all back, but you know that if you push him enough he’ll be just as stubborn and mad as you, and then you can fight it out instead of actually talking about what’s going on. So you continue, knowing that what you’re going to say will just piss him off,

“You’re not my boyfriend, and I didn’t ask you to act like it. If you want a girl to parade around in front of people, go find someone else, because I’m not your girl. You just need to back off, ok?”

“I’m not trying to control you, or ‘parade you around’ I have no clue why you think I’d even want that,” He puts up big air quotes when he throws your words back at you,

“I just know how stressed you are and how you don’t ever see your friends because your whole life is your fucking job. I just wanted to make this night fun and relaxing for you. And I’m sorry if I’m proud of you for being so successful, but did it ever occur to you that maybe I am the guy?  The guy who wants you for you. The guy who respects your career just as much as his own. The guy who knows that even though you’re standing here pissed as hell, it’s only because you  know you have feelings for me too?”

He’s practically yelling and a couple people have definitely taken notice. And maybe he’s right, but your hard head and stubbornness would never let you admit it, so you just decide to walk away.

You leave him standing there outside of a bar that still holds all of your closest friends, and you know that you may have just thrown away your prince charming, but you can’t go back. It would be too much, so you walk home and cry yourself to sleep that night.

I will be there for him just as strong as he, will be there for me

When I give myself then it has got to be, an equal thing

I don't wanna be like Cinderella

Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar

Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free

You got the promotion. You got it and the only person you wanted to tell was Travis. It’s been weeks since that night you left him outside the bar. He texted and called a few times, eventually he stopped. You thought he might show up at your place but he never did. You tried to be mad at him. You tried to blame him for your friendship falling apart. You also knew that he was right. About everything.

You thought back to all the times you had been there for each other. You thought back to all of the long talks on the phone while he was away for the summers, every time he hyped you up before a big presentation at work, and all the times you waited at his door after what you knew had been a tough game.

You always had each others backs. You didn’t have to ask for it, you just knew that when you fell, the other one would be there to pick you up. You didn’t have to guess. You always knew what he was feeling and you knew how to fix it. He was the same way with you. And yet, you still couldn’t bring yourself to just pick up the phone and call. Maybe it was because you knew he would be on the other end waiting to take you back in the blink of an eye. You knew he’d forgive you for everything and you knew he would love you forever, but you were still scared to admit that maybe you did need him. You felt like it would be an admission of failure that you couldn’t do this on your own.

You didn’t need him to take care of you or to slay a dragon to save you, you just needed HIM.  You needed his companionship, his love, and his affection, all of the things that he was so willing to give you, but that you still couldn’t accept.

I don't wanna be like Snow White 

waiting for a handsome prince 

to come and save me on a horse of white

Unless we're riding side by side

It’s been over a month now, and you haven’t so much as spoken a word to Travis. You had filled Katie in the day after her party, apologizing for leaving without saying goodbye. She tried to comfort you, but you didn’t want to talk about it. You were going to be fine without him. He was just a friend after all. But now Katie was getting fed up. She was tired of watching you mope around town acting like everything was fine, when she knew damn well that you were just too stubborn to admit that you loved Travis too.

“Ok. You seriously need to suck it up buttercup.” Katie came full force through the threshold of your apartment with two bottles of wine and a bag of take out. You were all for a girls night, but you were right when you had concerns of it turning into a “lets talk about your feelings night.”

“You’re losing it. Like I love you, but as your friend I can no longer support this moping around.”

“I have told you over and over again, that I am fine. I got my promotion and I’m doing great at work!” You try to convince her that you’re doing ok, and that you don’t read every shitty article written about the flyers as an attempt to satisfy your Travis craves.

“If you’re oh so fine, then why do you still watch every flyers game? Why are you drinking his favorite wine all the time? And why the fuck are you wearing his clothes???”

You didn’t even remember that you had put on an old hoodie of his this morning until just now. He used to let you borrow the old 67’s hoodie when you were at his place, eventually you just took it home with you, and it’s been your favorite ever since. You wore it now more than ever, but would never admit it was because you missed him.

“It’s just comfortable ok?” But you knew she wasn’t buying it, you knew you were going to have to talk about it at some point.

“...I just feel like if I admit that I need him, it would be like admitting that I can’t take care of myself, that I can’t do this on my own.”

“Babe, it’s not about needing someone to take care of you, it’s just about loving someone and letting them love you back. Travis of all people knows that you are perfectly capable of fending for yourself. I think that’s probably something he loves about you. He knows you. And I know for a fact that he’s waiting for you.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because he calls me…”

“Wh-what?” Why would Travis bother to call Katie?

“Because he’s worried about you, but he knows that if he suffocates you, you’ll just keep pushing him away. He’s called me regularly for a few weeks now. He just wants to know how you are... But he didn’t want me to tell you because he didn’t want you to feel like he was going behind your back. He loves you. And he’s just waiting for you to come back to him. He’s an idiot, but somehow he’s managed to figure you out.”

He loves you. Travis loves you.

You love him.

You love each other.

He never wanted to take anything from you. 

He just wanted your love.

He wanted to give you his love.

It’s like you’re discovering words for the first time, and you know you that you can’t just let this go. You know that you don’t want to keep living your life if you’re not sharing it with him, side by side.

You look over at Katie who knows you’re finally coming to terms with all of this,

“I think I have to go”

“Go get him babe!”

You order an uber and grab your shoes before heading out the door.  The ride to Travis’ has never felt longer. You start to question yourself but it’s too late, you know what you have to do. You walk into his building and make your way up to his floor on the elevator. You pace back and forth for a while outside of his apartment, but you tell yourself it’s now or never, and knock on the door. It’s not even 20 seconds later that he’s opening the door,

“Hey, I knew you’d come back.”

For some reason you thought he might still be mad, and he might just slam the door in your face or yell at you, but he’s not. He’s smiling and is reaching out to pull you into his apartment and into a hug. You let him and it’s like you’ve never felt more relief. The weight of the past month is instantly lifted. You feel like you can breathe again. And then the tears start to fall.

“Hey, don’t cry. It’s ok.” He’s consoling you and you’ve never felt worse. He was always right there and you just about threw it all away because you were too stubborn. You both muster out some sorry’s and you’re not even sure how long you’ve been standing there in each others arms. You’re perfectly content just staying there, but eventually he pulls back to look at you.

He wipes away at your tear stained face and looks you right in the eyes,

“I love you. And I never ever want to make you feel like you’re anything less than the amazing, strong, smart, beautiful, independent woman that you are... I just want you to let me love you.”

“Okay... but only on one condition…”

Travis just looks questionably back at you,

“That you let me love you back”

Travis doesn’t even bother with words, because he knows the only thing left to do is kiss you. So he leans into you, and you lean into him, and it’s like everything in the world is right again. Riding into the sunset may have been a fairytale, but true loves kiss was definitely a reality. You were right too, you didn’t need a prince to save you, you needed to save yourself. It just turned out that saving yourself was letting the man of your dreams love you back.

[starrysupercell]

UwU the rest of the outline at per request. @lumpy-veev (still unfinished but it's okay! This should be thought of as a rough draft.) 💙

🦝 "RaR 3" or "Breaking Point" 🐍

It would be an unofficial Brawl, which is not allowed, but it happens, and what can you even do?

I see the two as basically ignoring each other's presence upon finding out that the other is there. Of course, as much as they won't admit it, it's making them think of. Everything.

This leads to even more on edge tense atmosphere whenever they would cross each other's path, because even if it’s a big park, you can only avoid someone for so long, especially when you happen to have common associates. (the Coworkers, Tara, etc.)

It doesn’t help they have growing animosity and take every little thing personally for every interaction.. and it’s only been a month or two.

Rumors begin to pick up around the park-- Just a little chatter at the bar. Just a little observation that those two sure have something between them huh? The gossiper is shushed, because did you forget who runs the place? his connection to Byron?

Luckily, the bartender didn’t seem to hear. He was busy cleaning glasses. The topic’s changed. customers continue to come and go.

One who arrives is Piper, who sits down at the bar. It’s busy, so she waits patiently for Barley to get her usual. (he’s good at that.) He sets down a coaster and the glass in front of her, but instead of a greeting and bustling away this time, he sticks around.

“Byron is well on his way to becoming a topic of interest around here...” he tells her.

She leans forward with a smile. “What have they said? And who, for that case?”

He explains what he heard, and omits the names.

Piper thoughtfully considers this. She had noticed this, but hadn’t chalked it up to a personal history, just conflict of interest. (byron was well off, belle was a thief. he would be cautious) Now that she knew, she wanted every drop of intel.

“I can talk to him. we wouldn’t want our dear coworker being talked about, do we?”

“I do not.” Barley replied, tipping his hat to bid her goodbye as he steps away to another client. He lets Piper take care of this, because he likes letting people come to him if they want to talk, and he feels that Byron would have already approached him if that were the case.

~

So, it’s another one of their patented teatime tête-à-têtes.

Piper skirts around the issue before dropping the news of whispers about the two.

But Byron doesn’t humor the topic, and refuses to talk about it.

Piper cheerfully pokes at him. “Crossed paths? Did you know her before the Park? maybe previous business associates? She robbed you, but you had good insurance, and one day she tricked you? Ooh~ Former flames-?"

And then Byron stands up and is about to leave wordlessly until that last suggestion processes bc if he doesn’t clarify now, ugh that’s gonna be what Piper thinks is plausible (kind of, bc he gay af) and he does NOT want that to be a thing.

“She’s a relative,” he says with so much distaste before he leaves that Piper is even more intrigued. but at the same time, there’s something that tells her she shouldn’t fan the fire any further.

they’ve had their share of back and forths, and it’s been a blue moon since something had gotten him so upset that he just up and leaves.

she drops it, and as the #1 gossipmonger of the park, the hushed whispers of “mystery between byron and belle?” is completely stamped out with a dismissive attitude and several “Really? I didn’t notice anything.”

If Byron really and truly didn't want this around the park, she'd honor that.

~

Of course, with QD Edgar on occasional trips with the Gang, that’s the biggest connection the sibs have at the moment.

The first time Edgar name dropped Byron, Belle froze and listened to 2.47 more seconds of the teen's rambles before telling him to get a move on around camp and quit yapping.

Edgar didn't notice this first time around and grumpily went about his way.

But I'm sure there's one thing or another that makes Edgar talk about his dad manager again, and one thing that will really piss Belle off, is comparison.

Tara, who notices the shift in mood, puts herself in between Edgar and Belle and swiftly soothes things over. She suggests getting on with the plan they have (already knowing what Belle will respond with).

"heist cancelled," Belle states, rearing up Elodie and galloping away from camp. (She usually winds down on her own after celebrating a big heist, but never before-- and never had called it quits at that.)

Edgar is put off. Tara muses that it's nothing he could help...

On her own, Belle just contemplates everything. Hours. It brings up familiar memories of being up on the rooftop with her head buried into her arms and knees feeling terrible.

Except now she's more than grown, with her share of things to be proud of and great memories she forged on her own. She's not curled up on herself anymore. She's staring to the long distance of the desert-- her home-- traveling with ease.

That stupid rooftop section of her life is nothing more than a fraction of her well-lived life.

It doesn't make her feel better.

Yet another thing Byron ruins for her without even trying.

She needed a drink.

~

Not wanting to head back to her camp for the night, and not in the mood to try nabbing some good drink, Belle simply walks into the bar and orders something.

Barley treats her the same as any Brawler, despite what he now knows about her.

As far as he was concerned, she came in there as a customer. And as long as she paid, he saw no problem in serving her...

She drinks quietly, and he keeps an eye on her intake.

And eventually, just like with any other customer with something heavy on their mind and enough drinks, words flow easier.

She doesnt use names, and keeps terms vague. Speaks angrily of her parents. Calls the brother a "dumbass of a pushover."

Now, it isnt like he associates Byron as a (pardon his french) 'dumbass' in any way, but it's the way she uses it that makes Barley connect the dots. The tone wasn't as bitter. Almost fond. Almost.

He lightly prods for a little bit more insight, and she gives up a little more as she drinks.

Unlike the other two members of his Trio, it wasn't in his nature to gossip, so this would stay between them.

Barley listens, because that's what she needs right now. Not advice, not interjections or lectures or deflecting the subject. Just someone to listen.

Eventually he cuts her off before she gets too inebriated (and probably causes trouble.)

{I AM going to write this scene out in depth. And cry while doing so.}

~

On the other side, after the season and back at the Gift Shop, Edgar is 🤔🤔 over that incident. He considers talking with Colette but 1) she's as mad as a Colette could be at the fact that he hung out with the NEW BRAWLER and TARA and didnt bother getting her ANYTHING. and 2) tbh she's a blabbermouth.

Byron does his regular check of the shop that day. Making sure Colette hasn't run off and Edgar isnt sneaking a nap.

He welcomes Edgar back from his little trivial loot and shoot games.

While Edgar hadn't even thought twice about it before, he recalls that when he had told Byron he'd be working at a different section of the park (namely with the new Brawler, Belle) he had acted just as dismissive.

Like yeah, there was your usual "old man doesn't get the teens" shenanigans, but Byron had never belittled his interest in anything before. Calling his involvement in the season a 'trivial game' sounded... personal.

He outright asks Colette if Byron was acting weird.

Any snippiness that Colette may have had for 2 minutes diminishes when there's a chance to talk with her favorite person in the world that she's seen little to none of for two months, AND about her favorite topic: Brawlers!

She spills everything she knows, because despite Piper's efforts, theres no secret a Brawler can try to keep when shes around.

She didn't find out everything of course. But she knows that there were questions involving Byron and Belle. Piper hushed it up, so for sure there was something.

Edgar nods. "Totally. I think she was close to rippin' my head off once. I brought up Byron once and she was ready to chew me out." (in case i didn't make it clear, Edgar picked up a slight drawl because of belle)

"Cool!" Colette exclaimed. "..I mean, not the rip your head off part. But that is cool too. I meant do we have lore on our hands?? That nobody ELSE knows!!?"

Edgar shushed her. Byron is in his office but the shop wasn't really sound proof.

......cue shenanigans from the Coworkers trying to figure things out in their very amateurish ways compared to Piper by "sneaking" around and "nonchalantly" trying to get him to admit something.

Byron knows they're up to something, and humors them until realizing the topic when Edgar tries bringing up the Goldarm Season.

He shuts them down even faster than Piper.

Of course, instead of deterring them like her, he just confirms their suspicions. Colette and Edgar are "o yeah we are def going to get to the bottom of this."

~

So, it's plan B! If they even try asking Piper she throws them for such a loop and leaves them so bewildered that Colette even forgets to ask for anything she could keep, and Edgar didnt realize she gave them nothing to work with until they're already out the door and down the street with cake pops in their hands.

So, Plan C! ...Barley.

It's hard to find a time to go there, since it's busy when they get off work. And Barley always seems to be at one place or another....

So the kids choose the perfect time (roughly midday), and just wait for the perfect day... when Byron comes in and checks the shop, then decides on his own that they could handle it for the rest of the shift and leaves them to it.

When the stars align, the teens wait until Byron is out of sight, and close up the gift shop. Their plan is to head to the bar... and maybe try and get something out of Barley..... not much of a plan, but they don't realize it there.

They make haste, running to the bar, because time crunch (when/if complaints start rolling in.)

Bursting through the doors of the Bar, Barley gives them a look. "Don't.. do that, please."

Colette apologizes enthusiastically, and urges Edgar forward. "Ask him! I'll keep watch!"

She hops over to the door and peers through it periodically.

Meanwhile, Edgar is stammering because he didnt plan anything to say, he expected Colette to talk to the robot.

"If you two think I allow underage drinking, I most certainly do not, no matter what Penny says." Barley warns.

"Uhh, no it isn't that. ...Umm. do ya know... well, you would know about Byron, and not Belle, I guess. But they've been acting weird lately, and we want to know why."

. . .

Barley pauses in consideration.

Options and questions flood around his mind, and he still had no answer.

Wonders if he should even mention Belle's visit some time ago, or the fact that he knows more in depth about it than Byron would care for, or that if Piper found out he knew more than her, and then told these two over would she be offended? ....Actually, in that case, why was he considering telling them anyway? Well, if they were interested in the topic for genuine reasons...

Edgar doesn't even know what to do either. Barley's not saying anything.

Colette squeaks, and scrambles from the door. "Edgar!! Any luck here? Because we're out of it over there!"

"What?"

"I think I see Byron heading here!!"

Who would have thought.

this is where i kind of dropped off the outline, but to continue/wrap it up, Barley points them to the curtain that covers the back room. There's an exit there which he tells them about, but the teens stay to EAVESDROP bc they care.

Barley and Byron chat. the conversation dips into the area having to do with Belle.

Byron frowns. "If I didn't know any better, I would think you're trying to get me to admit something, Barley. I can understand Piper, but you?"

"Me?" Barley asks. "Sir, you know I never mean harm."

"..." Byron stares at him unconvinced. "If Piper did put you up to this, you can tell me."

"U.. Believe it or not, I am among others in this park who care about you, Byron."

"...." wouldn't that be nice. But Byron believes him. My bad. He humors his coworker for now. "Fine." And asks for a drink.

Barley gets him his preferred one. [Lol I'll come up with it eventually.]

They talk. Barley finds out a little more. But just a little bit. Byron... it isnt like he has practice talking about ☆~feelings~☆

The teens listening in leave before too long. Colette is like O.O;; and Edgar decides that all they wanted to know was the relation between Byron and Belle, and they got that.

She agrees, and they both leave through the back door.

Byron didn't get as drunk ofc, it's still his working hours. Just enough to loosen up a bit and get through mild robot therapy.

After his leave, Barley sees him off, and then goes to check in the back. They're gone and he has a brief "oh, thought they would have gotten the hint to, listen in. Oh, well."

[There's one more event, involving the Coworkers interacting with Belle one last time, but still unplanned <3 it leads to the meet up and the fight... somehow though. I'll release that when I think of it.]

I can also see Piper being ":0 you knew before I did? And didn't tell me? You're mischievous, Barley!" In a very light hearted way at the very end.

Barley frets ;;; "I am not!"

[dragonheart-swtor]

👹 + 💥 + ☀️ + 🍏 + 💧 + 🔮 + 🌸 + 💗 for zashiil? :D

Send me character asks!

Thanks for the ask!! Don’t mind pickin a lot of them, huh? xD

👹 How does you OC act around different people and how does their personality change to match the environment they’re in? How do they act with: friends, family, strangers, children or their lover(s)?

At baseline, Zashiil’s kind of the asshole with a heart of gold - tries to stay emotionally distant and push people away by being mean/snarky, but ultimately always tries to do the right thing when push comes to shove. She’ll snipe at you for bothering her or being annoying, but she’ll also be the first one to your defense when the blaster fire starts.

She is, to everyone’s surprise sometimes including her own, capable of being at least somewhat diplomatic when the situation calls for it - at least, enough so that she managed to talk the Rift Alliance around and all that. (It was a bit of a close thing, but she managed.) Being very good at sensing others’ thoughts and emotions helps - she’s a fair hand at modulating just how caustic she is to the situation and the other person’s mental state, although she’s never exactly the perfect diplomat.

The softest she gets, as it turns out, is when someone reminds her a bit too much of her younger self - the most noticeable case of that being Nadia after her father’s death. Despite herself, Zashiil sees someone whose emotions are very similar to her own worst moments and can’t help but want to reach out and be the comfort she didn’t have. She’s not the greatest at actually talking people through their emotions, but she is good at listening and being a steady, quiet presence to anchor someone.

💥 Are there any emotions your OC doesn’t know how to deal with, doesn’t understand or hates having to feel? Any reason behind this?

Is “all of them” cheating? /e (You know how Jedi can get.)

She doesn’t like how angry she gets sometimes, mostly because she’s sharply aware that it has the capability to make her teeter toward the dark side, and again, Jedi. Doesn’t make it any less present, and she actually copes with it fairly well all things considered, but she doesn’t like it.

What she really doesn’t handle well is what that anger can sometimes be trying to hide - vulnerability, or, worse, helplessness. Feeling helpless and lost is the worst feeling in the world for Zashiil, and she’ll do almost anything to avoid it - unfortunately, sometimes including charging into a situation she really shouldn’t be charging into. It reminds her too much of her past - of being a slave child who was always helpless and at the mercy of others.

☀️ How well does your OC take care of themself? Do they tend to put others before their own wellbeing and if so how often? What is their favourite way to pamper themself?

...ehh? She doesn’t exactly deny herself self-care, but she’s not the best at it either - she kind of just does what she needs to to keep herself running at peak capacity and very little else. Being told to take a few days off and “pamper herself” makes her nervous; she doesn’t like being off her feet and out of the action for long. (She’s not above a half-hour shower or overindulging on sweets now and then, though.)

🍏 When your OC says “I had a bad day” what does that tend to mean? Is it really as bad as they’re saying or are they being a bit dramatic?

Usually it means she kept trying to do things and things kept going wrong and making her fail, which is incredibly frustrating for her after a while. She’s not quiet about her complaints, but she’s not overdramatic either.

💧 What is something from your OC’s past they’re the most ashamed of and why? What is something they’re really proud of? And lastly what is something in their past that could make them shake with dread?

Dread is easy - put her so much as in the same room as a shock collar/cuffs and she gets twitchy. Pride is harder, but I honestly think she is proud of what she accomplished with the Rift Alliance, considering that diplomacy isn’t exactly her favorite thing in the world.

Shame... shame is the hardest, but I think in her darkest moments there’s a part of her that’s sometimes quietly ashamed that when she and Duserra first saw each other again as adults, she couldn’t convince Duserra to leave the Sith and come to the Jedi with her. She feels like she should have been able to talk her around, like she failed her sister - even as she’s also furious with Duserra for failing her by refusing to come.

(In her very darkest moments, a very small part of her also regrets not leaving the Jedi to be with Duserra instead.)

🔮What does your OC think is their best trait. What is actually their best trait? What about their flaws? Are they one to admit these flaws or do they like to pretend they’re perfect?

What she thinks is her best trait... probably the fact that no matter what problems come up, she always gets things done. She can push through whatever the world throws at her to get her mission done. She’s not far off; her best trait is probably either persistence or the fact that despite that dogged dedication to getting her mission done, she doesn’t sacrifice her morality to do that.

Her biggest flaw is definitely the fact that she constantly pushes people away and refuses to rely on others - she’s fully aware of this, but doesn’t believe it’s a problem (after all, she’s a Jedi, she’s not supposed to get attached to others anyway, right?).

🌸 What’s a sentence that would make your OC’s day better? One that would make them laugh? One that would make their day worse? Why? What words would you have to say to them to completely ruin their day?

To make her day better: a simple Thank you would honestly do, especially from the people whose opinions she actually cares about - acknowledging the pain she takes on herself to do her job.

To make her laugh: anything at Tharan’s expense I can’t think of a specific example, but generally speaking anything making dry humor out of a bad situation will get a chuckle out of her.

One that would make her day worse: Don’t need a whole sentence for this; the phrase filthy alien or anything adjacent to it will do it. (Makes her day worse mostly in the fact that she’ll simmer on the anger over it all day, especially if it was from someone she can’t punch over it.)

To completely ruin her day: You failed. I needed you, and you weren’t there.

💗 Ramble a bit about this character!

I haven’t rambled enough? xD

I recently played through Nadia’s companion join plot point, and I think you’ve heard this ramble before, but... hoo boy, do I have feelings about that and Zashiil. The thing about that scene is that Zashiil sees that grief-fueled rage and just kind of quietly goes "...yeah, mood" and doesn't really try to stop her from killing Stark - like, she gives her one-line obligatory “You’re doing this out of anger, not justice” note, but if she’d actually wanted to stop Nadia, she would’ve been able to do that. She didn’t. She got it.

And from a story perspective... honestly, I think Nadia is exactly what Zashiil needs. This is the turning point I've been looking for where Zashiil really starts to soften, because she sees this young woman grieving for a lost family member, the person who was closest to her in all the world, but trying so hard to keep it together and it strikes such a chord with her that she can't help but reach out and open up a little. There's this moment of dialogue in my head somewhere where Nadia's broken down sobbing sitting next to Zashiil and it's just -

Nadia: It hurts so much - I just want it to stop. Zashiil: It doesn't stop. But it does get easier. Nadia: How do you know? Zashiil, very quietly: ...Because it did for me.

and this hurts my heart So Much, help

Zashiil really doesn't like it when she realizes what's happening tbh bc she's been trying for so long to push everyone away and distance herself from her emotions as well as other people, so much so that she probably reacts reflexively to push Nadia away again in something of a panic when she realizes she's been opening up more than she meant to - and then sees how hurt Nadia is by that and caves immediately because again, she relates to that isolation pain Big Time from when she was younger and had just lost Duserra and wound up alone. It’s just... a lot.

[make-me-imagine]

congrats on 5.5k!! you're insanely talented and I'm so happy you're getting the recognition you deserve 🥺🥺 could i join in the ship requests too?

I'm a rather small sized (like, 154cm & ~40kg kind of small) Asian female from a South East Asia country and i prefer men, especially men who are taller and Age Gaps™ 🥴 I'm not sure how much you know about/believe in astrology but I'm a Libra sun, Taurus rising and Capricorn moon so you can do what you want with that 😂

I'm an INTP/INFP (I've gotten both an equal number of times from sites OTHER than 16 personality, tho I personally vibe with INTP just a teeny smidge more) if you do MBTI ✌🏼 I LOVE to read, especially fanfiction lmao, and i also write! I really love listening to music + watching shows/movies too! My favourite shows are all mystery/crime based LOL and I am working towards becoming a criminal psychologist/forensic pathologist/forensic scientist in future! (heavily inspired by Criminal Minds, Sherlock, Detective Conan and the like so 😂) I have a really vivid and good imagination please i can spend DAYS just daydreaming and imagining scenarios that I never finish writing about & generally this is how all my work is never finished loll

I'm the eldest sibling at home, and my parents haven't always been around so I've been rather used to stepping up and taking care of myself (+ my sibling, like helping them with homework and all). Some people say I'm a natural born leader? idk bc I often step up to be the leader in group work & I'll often be the one to initiate things & all. I'm a rather big procrastinator though LOLL so you'll often catch me rushing my assignments & final projects & rushing my revision for exams + finals like, 2 days before the actual exam 💀 which often leads to me becoming more stressed out & breaking down more often than i actually should so 🥲 I'm trying to quit this bad habit though

I love cuddles and hugs please I will KILL for cuddles and hugs from my back by a tall character pls it just feels so safe and comforting to be spooned too 🥺🥺 sometimes when I'm too absorbed in work or something (which happens too often for it to be healthy) I might just forget to eat/sleep entirely AND also my sleep routine isn't the best. like i will literally fall asleep at 9pm, wake up in the middle of the night on my own at like, 1am, then usually I'll be rushing homework at this time, then maybe sleep again for a short while from 4ish? till when i have to get up for school/work at 5:30/6am 💀 there's been days where i literally looked so sick from the lack of sleep where my tutor once stopped the class to ask me if I was okay and if i was going to faint LMAO 😔 i feel like I'm a night owl??? but then also i have no problem getting up super early in the morning so?? but i really feel most at home and really enjoy the 3am nights 😌

i am also the class clown lol but it's bc i just make sarcastic comments and all and my friends think they're funny???? but also i enjoy making people laugh bc sometimes i find it interesting to try and see what kind of things make my friends laugh so it's lowkey an experiment? or like something i want to achieve? at this point. I'm fluent in English and Chinese/Mandarin and I'm learning Italian so I roughly know some basics, and I really enjoyed History, which I took last year but dropped this year. (I'm taking English Literature with Biology + Chemistry this year and they're all great, except I'm literally dying from the workload aaahhh 💀)

I'm kinda clumsy and Not Good™ at most sports, maybe passably okay for badminton but I'm really not that athletic and really not very keen on exercising either 😔 I'm quite creative and good with public speaking/creative writing/impromptu performance/speech though I'd say! I'm also in my school's drama club 😎 though I'm more of a backstage lights & sounds kind of person. I'm right handed (with a really neat handwriting, as I've been told many, many, many times) and I wear thin frame spectacles which I sometimes will fall asleep in & I'm so clumsy/careless that I'm actually really afraid I'd break them (it's happened before 😭)

I'm a really good planner? like i can do up a great and detailed schedule/plan for revision and all but i will NOT stick to what i plan 😭😭 i love to snack!!!! on chips + gummies especially, and my diet is quite unhealthy lmao i literally don't eat vegetables At All™ & i don't really eat meat that much too?? lmaoo please i can go for days without having a single proper meal & just survive on snacking on potato chips + soft drinks 💀 i am a very picky eater though so really me not finding food i like/am able to stomach is also really kind of my fault 🤡

while i really vibe with and love the dark academia aesthetic, i also do video/MOBA games, like i play games like Mobile Legends & all. I'm someone who knows most, if not all the lastest trends (like tiktok, memes etc) but i won't actively participate in them? i just kind of like to know things, like Knowledge is Power you know (I'm a Slytherin, in case you're wondering, though I've gotten Ravenclaw so often it's a close tie sometimes)

okay i feel like that's enough details about me? feels like I've told you nothing that's useful oh well LOL... I'd really love a ship for Criminal Minds and Marvel? if that's possible please? in case you missed it, i prefer men! (I'm a questioning bi, with a strong preference for men) for the hc prompt "what you do on your first date" or maybe "how you met + first impressions"?

thank you so much for being so kind and willing to do this ship requests thing!! I'm sure you're spending TONS of time and effort on this and aahhh i feel bad for typing so long paragraphs now (as you may have noticed i have a tendency to ramble on if not stopped because i am just really Socially Awkward ™ sometimes 💀 and have really bad (social) anxiety too) and i really think you're super amazing for doing this??? I'm so sorry if this took up too much of your time aaahhhhh thank you so so so much 🥺😭😭 really the biggest of congratulations to you for your 5.5k??? you really do deserve every single follower & i am SO insanely happy for you 🤩❤️

- 🌙🏒 anon

Don’t worry, you definitely provided enough information lmao. 

And thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it. 

I hope you like the ships I made for you

They are under the cut: 

Criminal Minds: 

I ship you with Hotch. 

You get the age-gap here lol. He would be a bit hesitant due to the age gap at first, but he would get over it because he can not resist. He does not seem like the type of cuddles, and especially does not take part in PDA. But when you are alone he would love holding you and spooning, especially after a long day of work. Aaron would be attracted to your uniqueness as well as your intelligence and aesthetic, finding it to be very “you”. 

How you met + his first impressions: 

You met when you were transferred to the BAU as the new Forensic Pathologist.

Hotch thought you were very interesting when you first met and was definitely intrigued by you. 

He thought you fit in fairly well and would get along with the others (which you do). 

He appreciates a sarcastic sense of humor, so he would dig that as well.

Hotch could tell you had a form of anxiety and wold be patient around you when you first met so that you could open up to him at your own pace.

What you do on your first date:

He takes you to a hockey game. 

He is not the sportiest person but he has had an interest in hockey for a while, sometimes watching it on tv. 

When he learned that you liked it, he decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to invite you on a date as well as to see his first game. 

After the game, you walked around town for a bit, getting some late night food and talking or a long time. 

This allowed you to open up to him quite a bit and you grew more comfortable around him as well, which he is very happy about. 

Best Friend: 

Your best friend is JJ. She thinks you are really cool and unique and nice. She has the type of personality that is easy t get along with and open up too, so you bonded with her quicker than the others. I also feel like she is into hockey as well, so she appreciates your love for it as well. 

-

Marvel: 

I ship you with Sam. 

I think Sam is a good fit for you. He is into sports, and digs your aesthetic. He is easy to get along with and very funny. He thinks your line of work is very interesting and loves to listen to you talk about it. Sam also really enjoys crime shows ans thrillers so he is always excited to meet someone who enjoys them as well. 

How you met + his first impressions:

You met through Nat, who you had met through SHIELD years before. 

You happened to be at the compound with Nat when Sam was there and she introduced you. 

He immediately thought you were pretty and very interesting.

Sam could tell you were shy, but that did not stop him from flirting.

Though he also made some jokes and was easy going as to not scare you off. 

He made sure to ask Nat about you once you left and managed to convince her to give him your contact info. 

What you did on your first date: 

He took you to the movies first, to watch the most recent crime thriller that came out. 

After the movie you went to a nearby park and walked around, talking about the movie and other crime/horror related stuff. 

You got food at a food truck and sat by the fountain together. 

He was appalled when you told him that you didn’t eat that often (if came a part of your relationship later on that he would try to cook you meals that you’d like just so you WOULD EAT). 

You ended up spending hours together, and it felt like no time at all.

So you were definitely up for another date with him, which he of course asked you about.  

Best-Friend: 

Natasha. She was the first one you met, and slowly introduced you to the others. She thought you were really cool when you first met and was surprised at how well you go along. That is sometimes hard for her to do, so once you became friends she never took that for granted. She and Sam would gang up on you when you weren’t eating btw. 

xxaaron

[ratsoh-writes]

Hihi, this is for the matchups :^D This is my first time ever asking for a matchup, so hopefully this is enough! Sorry for the huge wall of text sfsgfjgjdhs

Personality: I can be quiet and relatively laid back, and I tend to just go with the flow of things. I basically have NPC energy, so I normally won't talk unless addressed first. I'm very goofy when I'm comfortable with someone, and I'm a sucker for puns, memes and generally stupid humor. I can also get loud when I'm excited, but again, only around people I'm comfortable with. I'm kind and considerate of others, and am accepting of all sorts of weird stuff so long as it isn't hurting anyone, I don't judge! I can be really awkward, and sometimes I blurt out garbled nonsense that even I don't understand. I stutter a lot, and I normally need to take time to gather my thoughts so I don't embarrass myself lol

Strengths: I've been told I'm a good listener and that I'm good at comforting people. I'm very patient, too. I tend to stay neutral with things until I hear every perspective, and I'm a bit of a mediator.

Weaknesses: Anxiety and paranoia are a big problem due to some past experiences, so I have trouble going out into public alone. I read tones a lot, so hearing any noticeable shifts towards anger makes me nervous. I get overwhelmed easily, and I don't do well with yelling, either. I'm kinda self conscious about my appearance. I can be forgetful sometimes, too.

Pet Peeves: I absolutely hate it when people bully others for things they can't control. Cringe culture makes me very upset, and I despise when people make others feel bad for harmless things that make them happy. Arrogance and impatience annoy me to no end.

Odd Habits: I'm autistic and have trouble sitting still, so I fidget a lot. Sometimes I just zone out and start walking in big circles while staring into nothing. I flap my hands/arms a lot (though im kinda lowkey about it bc I get self conscious :^[ ) I just stim a bunch lol

Hobbies: drawing, playing video games (mostly rhythm games but I also play other things), listening to music, singing and watching anime/YouTube! I like to listen to podcasts about various topics, too :^]

No-Nos: Being distrusting, disrespecting boundaries and refusing to communicate are big ones. I also will not do well with someone who explodes easily or is loud when angry.

Oh, and one last thing- I'm a sucker for affection, so having someone whose a big cuddler is a must!

I had two guys who were absolutely perfect. The winner winner chicken dinner was RUST (horrorfell sans)!

Rust is very laid back and is one of the biggest teddy bears out there! You’ll get your cuddle fix with him.

He’s also fairly quiet. Ok thats a lie. He’s extremely quiet and even though he’s capable of speech again after his jaw surgery, rust still prefers typing out or signing his responses. When he does speak, its always in low and soft tones. He never yells anymore. So any SO who gets scared by yelling and loud noises should like him. 

Rust is also anxious himself and prefers having a companion when he goes out. He’d never be bothered if you always want him coming with you

dating rust includes:

I said this in another matchup already, but I can say it again. Rust has a lot of potential to become a serious anime nerd. Just give him the right push, and he’ll obsess over all your shows with you.

Rust still has his grumpy old man moments like all the fells, but he’s much more patient than his underfell counterpart. Also working with children has done wonders for getting him to tame his fiery temper. Rust is a skilled comforter and is good at catching you when you’re feeling overwhelmed

he has a big appreciation for art due to his brother noir. Rust would love it if you let him watch you draw!

[voidselfshipp]

La Mala Vida

Summary: medic finds out that living forever might be less of a hussle,and that maybe this century is worth saving.

Pt 2 here bcs Tumblr wont let me

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡

Life.

What do we do with it?people say it is what we want it to be, that the time we have to choose is limited because we dont live forever.

Josef would not agree with that statement.

Hes been living since the 18th Century, and after all these years everything seemed the same.

Its a rainy Day on teufort, why was someone like him still in there? After all the memories he had there.

He didnt quite now, maybe because its residents were quite literally Led poisoned idiots and nobody would suspect a thing from him.

--that would be five dollars Sir-- the Cashier said giving him the newspaper.

The german Man scowled and handed him the money taking it.

'Back in my zime zhe newspaper vas vay cheaper...' he thought.

He then goes to the nearby café, catching his reflection on the windowpane of said café.

He still looked quite handsome for a Man that is centuries old,he lived through Many things and yet there he was, alive and well.

He then sits against the Window minding his own bussines waiting to be attended.

He was so concentrated in the news that he didnt noticed the people that came in and out.

Nor the music playing.

But then, he looks up at the entrance, his face cant help but to contorn in a smile.

The newest generation has been quite of his interest as of lately.

The was something about zentenialls he couldnt quite put his finger on that caused him interest.

A generation that coped with problems with self depreciating humor, yet being able to form a revolution in the span of months in one single app,but also having the biggest of hearts for those in need.

'Siamo condannati alla brutta vida

Quería decirle, bambino

Que usted está trayéndose un flow bandido

Su secreto está guardao aquí conmigo

Sabe, yo respeto pero nunca olvido

Tarde, siempre tarde yo lo siento (wuh)

Les molesta todo lo que rondo

Devoluciones, no caigo en eso

Estoy buscándome yo los pesos, uh

Yo no quería que caiga preso (wow)

Regalito a la mamá, par de billes (par de billes)

Pa que se lo goce y de mí no se olvide (no se olvide)

Y la herida llevo aquí (llevo)

Dime tú si me vas a amar'

The lively music seemed to contrast with the calm ambience of the place.

Jerico pulls down the hood of her hoodie, she looks around for a place to sit, and goes to a far quiet corner of the place.

She sits down putting her bag close to her.

Her ears catch the melody playing and a homesick smile appears on her face tapping her feet to the rythm .

'La mala vida que me persigue

Los tiempos están cambiando y nosotros también

La calle está ardiendo, guiándome

Ni olvido ni perdón a lo que fuiste ayer

Mala vida que me persigue

Mala vida que no puedo salir

Mala vida que me persigue

Mala, mala

Fuck mala vida, mala, mala

Quería más de mí, pero no le di nada

Estamos nasty, curtiendo strada (strada)

Rompiendo tarima como si nada'

She was mouthing the lyrics of the song while softly rocking her body to it.

Medic catched a glimpse of this and smiled.

Finally they go and take his order, then the girls and the waiter dissapears behind the bar.

Jeris glance meets Josefs, she smiles and then goes down to her phone, a hand that was used as a rest for her cheek.

'Lo hacemos igual gore

Tenemos el peso en el pecho

Y aunque duela adentro, lo hacemos igual por los tiempos

Tiempos buenos, tiempo al fin

Tiempos malos que perdí (wuh)

Fuckin' mala vida, te escupo la face

Acuérdate de mí cuando me veas, no compro fake

Los fuckin' vis a vis me tienen maldecí

Estoy maldecía, no puedo salir

Regalito a la mamá, par de billes (par de billes)

Pa que se lo goce y de mí no se olvide (no se olvide)

Y la herida llevo aquí (llevo)'

He then looked back at his own stuff, the music, altough not his favourite was starting to get to him, and so his foot unintentionally started to tap following the beat of the song.

Now he wasnt the type of guy to dwell on his past, he only cared about defying modern science, well he did bring back a Man to life.

Good times.

He sighs, that smile that some found unnerving seemed to have warmed a little bit, the years were softening Him up.

Tough he feels someone watching him, his head turns to find the girl drawing on a piece of paper, what exactly? He couldnt tell.

Until her emerald green eyes met his, her cheeks flushed and looked away with a expression that screamed 'I hope the floor swallows me and never spits me again'.

He chuckled, and a side of him felt quite honored.

Maybe hed ask her for the drawing.

he drank his coffee and read the newspaper,the bitter taste of it wasnt as much of a kick in the mouth, they used to make them stronger too.

Meanwhile jerico couldnt help but dwell on her own problems while she waited.

The cold weather was rather relaxing to her, the cold and rain were always a comfort.

Though there wasnt much to do than wait right now, but shed find a way to entretain herself.

The café was too calm for her,way too calm.

But that is what happends when you used to live in a constant chaos, calm things seemed dangerous, a part of her really enjoyed this.

She sighs being absolutely bored out of her mind.

Her eyes look at the drawing that was just besides her.

Drawing that guy was fun, and the hairstyle did suit him well.

Her leg starts to bounce as she feels a familiar feel on her chest.

Maybe she should give it to him.

Or was it creepy? Did he even wanted it?

--miss heres your tea, and your pastries--the waiter said putting things down from the trail on the table--Anything else?

She shakes her head,the waiter asks her if she would want anything else, she says no.

She ends up paying her things and then enjoying them.

At least like that she doesnt have to go through the process of talking to anyone else than that waiter.

As she drinks though,Someone sits infront of her.

'Cant drink my tea in peace....' when she looks up however she jumps a bit on her Seat.

--Hallo-- the same Man she drew said-- I couldnt help but notice zhat jou vere drawing me,can I see?

The Man had his newspaper rolled under his arm, a huge smile and a coffee on his hand.

His accent, was rather cute, she thought.

--su sure!--Jerico smiles handing him the paper.

The Man looks at the drawing, and then smiles.

--Vould jou look at zhat! joure an true artist! Great job

Her chest warms and a huge grin appears on her face, her hands grip the tea cardboard Cup--thank you very much!

--Mind if I keep it?

--not at all!, I was hoping to give it to you actually,just didnt know if youd like it

--Are jou kidding? Of course id love zo! Oh wait im so stupid, I should pay jou for it ! Jour skills shouldnt be wasted.

As soon as he extends his hand with the Money jerico softly pushes it back.

Her hand had paint stains, yet the skin was soft and they were warm.

--No no please

--i insist!

--Take it as a gift Will you?

He then puts the money away, and nodds-- ah yes,jour generation is good at convincing people, plus good at arguing okay, I Vill keep my money,oh im josef by zhe vay...and zhanks

He extends his hand and she shakes it.

--Jerico

-- vhat a lovely name,vell I should get going , rain is going to get vorse and its a long valk home...lovely zalking vith jou jerico!

Jer smiles -- it was nice to talk to you too

Josef takes the drawing a leaves.

She just sits there, what just happened???

Thats enough interaction for today.

When she finished she grabbed her things and Walked home, the rain poured without mercy, she should have brought an umbrella.

She puts on her headphones and walks faster to the bus stop.

That of course had no FUCKING roof.

luckily the music drowned out the pesky conversation that a guy who obviously didnt know how to take a hint tried to start.

'Fuckin' mala vida, te escupo la face

Acuérdate de mí cuando me veas, no compro fake

Los fuckin' vis a vis me tienen maldecí

Estoy maldecía, no puedo salir

Regalito a la mamá, par de billes (par de billes)

Pa que se lo goce y de mí no se olvide (no se olvide)

Y la herida llevo aquí (llevo)

La mala vida que me persigue (yeah yeah yeah)

Los tiempos están cambiando y nosotros también

La calle está ardiendo, guiándome

Ni olvido ni perdón a lo que fuiste ayer

Mala vida que me persigue

Mala vida que no puedo salir

Mala vida que me persigue

Mala, mala

Está cayéndome lo que nunca te dije yo

Estoy creyendo que los buenos son los malos'

As soon as the music ended she no longer felt the water falling on her , she looks up.

Josef.

He held the umbrella close to her.

--Hi-- she sheepishly said taking off her headphones.

--Hallo frau,vaiting fot zhe bus I see?

--Yeah, thanks for the umbrella though...should have brought one with me...but didnt...

Both share a giggle.

[comeonharold]

get to know me tag game 💙

@thegodsaregay tagged me, thank you friend

And I'll tag my usual squad too @blackindiaink @jello-thunderstorm @dscully2019 and the rest if they want to but they haven't done any of the earlier ones so I won't bother them, oh and @lostbunnysblog did one sometime maybe you want to do this one too

What do you prefer to be called name-wise?

You guys can say AJ if you want something other than my url but if you want my actual name you'll have to earn it😉 also I don't really care what people call me like I was studying in exchange and the other people just couldn't pronounce my name like idk I don't even think it's hard but they insisted on using a very English-speaking pronunciation so I was like whatever

When is your birthday?

Same as above, I can reveal that it's in October and horoscope-wise I'm a scorpio (not that I believe in that stuff but that gives a general idea of when my birthday is)

Where do you live?

Finland (which is why I'm not telling a lot of personal information it would be way too easy to find me because this isn't a huge country when it comes to population)

Three things you are doing right now:

Sitting in a car, talking with mom and I'm so slow at writing this thing that now I'm looking for my brother's hockey stick

Four fandoms that have piqued your interest?

Honestly I don't really do fandoms I like many ships and have great people to talk to about those when I want to but I would like to watch motherland fort salem, haven't had the time to look for it yet

How has the pandemic been treating you?

Well it's not great but I've been working on my pro gradu (that's like a master's dissertation) and quite a few courses so between that and floorball (before covid put stop to that one) I haven't really had that much extra time anyway so it's not that bad, like it would have been nice to see my friends more but what can you do when someone's sick or in quarantine 🙈

A song you can't stop listening to right now?

Impossible by Exit Eden. Or I am the storm by Ad Infinitum. Or many other songs by those ones I can't decide there are so many good songs

How old are you?

Okay this is another one I'm not giving a straight answer to and you can find it out by talking to me but between 20 and 25

School, university, occupation, other?

I study psychology

Do you prefer heat or cold?

*sigh* okay look. I'm from Finland and so my definitions of heat and cold are probably very different from any of yours like for me heat is above 20°C and cold is below -20°C (I don't do fahrenheit I'm sorry but you can google it) so definitely heat but like I'm also really happy about the snow we have here now, the way it crunches under my feet is so fun😄

Name one fact others may not know about you:

Hmm 🤔 okay it often takes a long time for people to really understand the way I speak (or write) because I'm often very sarcastic and don't bother using a sarcastic voice when I am, also I don't really do punctuation and just write whatever I think of and sometimes it makes sense and sometimes it doesn't and I forget what I was talking about in like 10 seconds so then I'll just keep talking about something else and all in all my communication can sometimes be super inconsistent like sometimes I use emojis and sometimes I don't and that doesn't necessarily mean anything at all

Are you shy?

I'm Finnish

Pronouns?

She or they are both fine, I don't know honestly, in Finnish we don't have gendered pronouns and well, the Finnish one for he/she/whatever is technically "hän" but we usually use "se" which means "it" so like let's just say that my relationship with pronouns isn't that close

Biggest pet peeves?

I hate hate hate the stupid psychology-related half-jokes that the people actually mean in a not-joking way like when they ask me to analyse someone or are like "oh you study psychology I thought you were normal" because just please let me live and like, not break all the ethical guidelines we have

What is your favorite "dere" type?

I don't know what that is

Rate your life from 1-10

Hmm let's say 9 I'm really happy with my life honestly and I don't think there's anything really missing from my life or anything but it can always be better and I don't want to get stuck

List your side blogs and what they're used for:

I have one that I use for storing literally anything for future use, mostly writing stuff for if I ever actually have time and inspiration, hasn't happened yet 😂the name of that one is just a literal keysmash so I have no idea

Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

Well probably mostly that I'm really busy a lot of the time and my tumblr notifications don't work and I forget to answer if I get distracted which happens a lot and I'm sorry but that's not likely to change anytime soon so all in all you have to be okay with that...also the earlier part about the how hard it might be in the beginning to communicate with me and oh sense of humor is super important I joke a lot that's like half my personality (I recently wrote a self-reflective diary bc that was the assignment but I wrote the whole thing in a very joking way like I talked about all the stuff I was supposed to but it was just very funnily written I think and I passed so no problem there but well I'm not going to be very serious most of the time, I can do that too of course but most of the time I just really don't want to) then maybe the fact that sometimes I write whole fucking essays as an answer to the simplest question because everything in life is complicated

I may or may not have answered them all I'm on my phone and I can't see and will start feeling sick if I keep trying to read any more because the road is very curvy because road work at high way xD

[inknose]

mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

[irnwithdiego]

omg pls rant abt Lila i also have.. a lot of issues with her and how ppl have reacted to her character

okay well first and foremost: i Love ritu. i absolutely adore that woman and im so happy that she's finally getting the attention she deserves, i support her and david dating too - so my opinions are genuinely not based on anything to do with that. just bc ive been accused of that by people who didnt realize ive been rooting for them since last summer lol.

anyway.

my biggest issue with lila is the fact that she was introduced as a chameleon. as brilliant or clinically insane as the situation requires. unpredictable. to me that sounded so incredibly interesting, because right from the bat i knew she was gonna turn out as the bad guy, or at least one of them and i was HOPING she would. i was really hoping she would be going batshit crazy on them, doing her thing as the evil person, then when s2 came along she got revealed to be the handler's daughter which to me made it even more exciting? because thats potential to get REAL crazy.

in the end, what we got was half-assed and incoherent and neither here nor there. we didnt get a chameleon, we got a mirror. lol. i expected her to be able to adjust to situations and people perfectly, charming them maybe, yknow. chameleon stuff. (would've loved it if she for example looked different to everyone and nobody actually knows what she looks like, alas. that would've been too creative i suppose)

and yeah her humor was "twisted" in a way, and she was charming... in a way. not to me, not to five, and i think the fact diego fell for her is really just him latching onto another problem/person/situation he needs to fix. the guy with the biggest trust issues on the show, openly telling her he prefers to know what people are even lying about, trying to cut her off multiple times the entire season, getting kidnapped and drugged by her to be shown off and introduced as "boyfriend" (??), turns out to be in love with her. okay. makes little to no sense, but i suppose you could partially blame it on her ability to be unpredictable and a chameleon (i still dont even know what they meant by that, where is the logic in calling her that-)

her undressing diego down to his underwear was creepy as hell to me, she knew exactly he’s only been stabbed and there was nothing else. she patches him up and climbs in bed with him as if they’ve known each other for ages. diego seems a bit "eh" at first, then just decides to fuck her. alright. a) diego, the guy with the biggest trust issues- b) i could see it as a letting off some steam thing tbh, just destressing or whatever. but he still had the stab wound that he allegedly almost bled out/died from so..... lmao. makes sense. in the end it wasnt just a quickie, it was ~love~ and that just doesnt sit right with me.

she lies to him from the get go, she manipulates his every move, she's invasive as all hell, she cant take a no in most situations, but sure. its love. sounds healthy.

the whole clusterfuck about their weird asylum relationship got completely drowned out by her "trying not to fall for diego", which essentially just made her character seem to be all over the place. she seems unfinished, like they disnt really know what to do with her, started off strong and then went off track and couldnt get back on. it seems like they changed a lot of things last minute and i cant make sense of her actions, especially not the way they wanted me to. its clear they were trying to keep up this guessing game about whether she would turn good for diego and his siblings or betray him. it was executed so poorly though, it just feels incredibly incoherent. she contradicts herself more often than not, and fine, lets say they wanted her to look confused about her situation and everything - it was still executed so poorly idk how else to put it. she was neither crazy enough for me to believe the character sheet we got beforehand, nor was she innocent enough for me to believe she really wanted to join them.

she literally tries to KILL all of diego's siblings and him in the end. she only seems to be considering joining them very last minute, like minutes before diego's little speech she was about to erase the entire hargreeves family. and she looked like she was having fun doing it too lmao. just doesnt sit right with me at all. diego proclaiming he loves her after all THAT doesnt sit right with me at all. like what, he tries to get away from her pretty much all season but decides she's worth it only after she tries to kill his family? diego??? im- come on.

i appreciate the thought of a redemption arc, but she wasnt nearly evil enough for me to even believe her original intentions, so i dont really know what her redemption would even look like.

and last but not least - the chameleon vs mirror thing. :) bro. that annoyed me so much. she essentially just goes and god-modes the entire season within 10 minutes, to say it with the words of a friend. like what was the point of that? the logic? how did they even know she could do that, if they allegedly dont know where the other kids with powers are? who did she train her powers on? plus, this is the oldest trope in the history of sci-fi/fantasy stories. someone turns out to be able to copy/mirror back the great powers of somebody else and overthrows everything. yawn.

what makes the others special if she can do whatever they do. maybe its just me being nit-picky at this point but i really dont want it. its so boring.

i had such high hopes for lila, i seriously was so excited to see her and it Still feels like such a let down just thinking of how s2 turned out. dont even get me started on all of them NEEDING a love interest apparently. because you cant be happy without one. thanks, but no thanks.

"s2 is gonna focus on the siblings' relationships!!" my ass. lila and diego's ~bond~ was as unnecessary and illogical as klaus' powers suddenly tenfolding and his paranoia of the spirits just lowkey vanishing with no real explanation other than "he's sober now ❤"

so yeah, all in all lila just seems the least fleshed out, randomnly thrown together and a Bit forced on the romantic part. i would've preferred her just being the big bad and going mental in the end. that would've been an interesting character choice for her.

from the bottom of my heart: why not.

sorry if this is too long, i couldnt help digressing here and there.

[astranne]

(Natalia Romanova) Crossover Harry Potter x Marvel

So, Natalia Romanova. Daughter of Black Widow and the Winter Soldier. The Avengers are totally her honorary uncles and aunts. Since she‘s James‘ daughter she‘s a super soldier too and HYDRA did some experiments so she‘s now stronger/faster than Captain America. She is now also an empath and telepath. And since this is an AU, Black Widow is a witch (Harry Potter universe here). But she never learned magic like all the others, she never needed speels and a wand. Just like Natalia. The royal family has always been magic, so they are important too in the wizarding world. But since Natasha never has been at the magic places they think she‘s a squib and like her daughter magicless. Anyway.

So, the muggle world thinks, that Natalia goes to a private school with other rich kids, bc Natasha wants her childhood as normals as possible. They send her to Durmstrang, bc this is the perfect school for her. (In this fic, many dark wizard families send their children there, Durmstrang is almost as big as Hogwarts and a proud school. The asshole Igor somewhat is not there) And a former Red Room 'friend' of Natasha is teacher there, so she can train her daughter while school. She goes under the name Natalia Romanoff, but somehow they realize this is the princess of russia. Naturally they try to become her friend, but... her glare is really scary. And then she starts talking about her father and they are like, nooopee not with me. But someone doesn‘t recognizes her. One Draco Malfoy. His father sends him to Durmstrang, bc the school is known for the good teaching in DADA (they totally also learn some dark spells) and Lucius will not send his heir to the school where this Dumbleshit is. Draco only says once, 'my father will hear about this', but no one fears his father. They are all pretty chill and not like britain wizards. So Draco slowly changes, doesn’t become this little brat who runs to his father everytime. He’s more like: oh fuck, my mom will kill me, when he does something dumb. It‘s in the middle of the school year, when he sees Natalia in the library and they just start talking. He has no idea who she is, bc Malfoys hate the muggle world and yeah. Natalia notices that and decides, this is now my best friend. They start to hang out, prank some olders and become friends with Vikor Krum, who starts his career.

And everybody is like: boy, do you realize this is a princess? Draco is just confused until she tells him and he‘s just: why did you do this to me??? I thought we‘re friends? He takes it with humor, yk Draco isn’t this little shit like in canon, Well, he still can be, but only when necessary. Anyway, he’s totally proud, that he’s the best friend of the princess of russia.

Anyway. They become friends and Draco writes a letter, before he comes home. There he casually writes he befriended the Romanova heir and how she teached him some moves with knifes. His father pales, bc draco- how in the bloody hell did you become friends with the russian princess, who is the daughter of the most feared assassin??? His mother is proud and excited to meet this Natalia.

Anywayyy. Draco comes home, his father tries his usual shit, but his son just walks past him and hugs his mother. Narcissa approves™

Uhm... probably should mention that Draco let his hair grow? Bc omg- twelve year old Draco Malfoy with a undercut and a little bun. Omg- and then some years later. You either die, bc he‘s so cute or bc he‘s so hot.

Anyway. Draco and Natalia write through the summer and also meet. James begins to teach Draco, bc you are now the best friend of my daughter. She can‘t always protect you. The Malfoys meet the Romanovas and somehow the whole wizarding world knows this.

Lucius called Natalia a half blood, bc he tought James is one.

“Excuse me, my Lord. But my father is the head of the Barnes family, an old and ancient house of America. He is a true wizard, if the muggels wouldn‘t have tortured him, his magical core still would be intact.“ James stares at Lucius, like he’s ready to kill and then mutters something in russian. Natalia snorts unladylike, while Natasha grins. (James called Lucius a little boy, (in not so nice words) bc he fears his daughter who is twelve years old. Shame on you, Lucius)

Bc Natalia is bored, she created an Instagram account, where she immediately gained millions of followers.

“Hey there! You probably think, what the bloody hell is the princess of-"

“Stop swearing, young lady!“

“And this was my father... anyway. I have summer holidays and while I still prepare for the next school year, I have sooo much time to do nothing! And- Draco, come here! I want you to introduce to Instagram.“ Natalia grins widely, while she films Draco, who was reading a book about the history of Russia.

“What now, Nat?“, he mumbles.

“Look in the camera!“

“You know, if you say that, I will especially not doing it.“

“And this is my best friend Draco.“

“Draco Malfoy.“ She rolles her eyes playfully, when he still ignores her.

“Draco Lucius Malfoy... now stop being such a brat and come here.“

“I hate it, when you call me by my full name.“

“Anyway. This is Draco Malfoy, my best friend. We met in the middle of the school year and since then-“

“Everybody has to suffer because of our alliance.“

“We are friends, Draco! Stop being such a bloody-“

“Young Lady-“

“It was Draco!“ Her fans love their interactions. Some even do competitions about Draco‘s insults at random people.

“My dad teached Draco some things and now he won‘t let this bloody knife-“

“Natalia Romanova, no cruse words in this household.“

“I swear, my dad knows everytime when I cruse. It‘s spooky.“ Draco snorts, while he still twirls the knife in his hand.

“Your father knows everything you do.“

“That‘s true.“

She gets the permission, still to post on social media while being at school. As long she doesn’t exposes the wizarding world.

“I wanted to introduce you to another friend of mine! This is Viktor-“

“Stanislav! Did you hear? I‘m friends with the princess, take that you fucking asshole!“

“We are not friends anymore, Vic! Stanislav, you are now my new best friend!“

“Hey! What about me??“

Some people are concerned, that she only has male friends, since they only met the three.

“Please. Girls can be soo dramatic, it‘s so fucking annoying. But I have some female friends. Like Daphne. But she goes to another school.... Draco? Do you think we could kidnap Daphne, so she goes with us to school?“ Draco is so done with his life. Why did he became friends with her? She only makes problems...

So yeah, Natalia is a cheerful person, but if you try to hurt her friends or family, she raises hell. Draco tries to control the chaos she creates, but is not always successful.

Uhm, fast forward I think? To fourth year, the Triwizard Tournament. Bc Draco and Natalia are one of Victor‘s closest friends, (and have powerful names) the go for a year to Hogwarts. They also meet the golden trio, who has no idea who they are, but Ron is searching for the princess. Hermione tries to stop him, but he already did the mess. Natalia begins raises an eyebrow and asks him what business he has with the princess.

“I need to speak with her.“

“And you are? Draco, is he a part of the pure blood families?“ Draco just shruggs and says: “I‘m not entirely sure, he has the looks of a Weasly and while they are a pure blood family, no one of the elite likes them.“ Harry begins to shout at Draco, Ron too, while Hermione wants to bang her head against the wall.

“I‘m sure, this is a misunderstanding. I‘m not from England, so I don‘t know the important families like Draco does. He simply said what your political position in the wizarding world is. I‘m sure you know the Malfoys, this is Draco Malfoy and he‘s my best friend. I appologies, if something we said came out wrong, but in Durmstrang you normally don‘t offend students with the political positions of their parents.“

Hermione becomes friends with the two, Harry and Ron are then pissed. Does she care? No.

So, they have their fun in Howgarts, they also befriend the Weasly twins and prank some people.

And then comes the fifth year. People loose their absolute shit, bc boy- They haven‘t seen Draco for 3 months and suddendly he‘s one of the hottest teenagers of the world. They start to ship the two, but Natalia doesn’t react to the fans about this.

For information, they are in the sixth year when they come together (somewhat)

But in the summer after the fifth year, some agency contacts Draco and asks him if he wants to do modeling. And he‘s like, why not. Then I have also a name in the muggle world and much influence.

He does a great job. He gains a fandbase, (he already has one) who are like: fucking finally-bitch, what took you so long???

He also starts social medias, mostly talks about his life. And the world meets his mother and they are like: ok wow, we understand, Draco. She‘s an angel, a badass angel. We know now, why he‘s such a perfect boy

So yeah, Draco starts modeling, his father tries to throw a hissy fit but can‘t really do anything about it.

I totally forgot about it, but Voldemort came back and James is like- fuck this shit and killed him. And destroyed all his Horcruxes. He went to all his former followers and was like: bitches, this was a half blood who wanted to destroy the wizarding world. Don‘t follow his mistakes or I‘ll kill you all.

They look at him with big eyes and he then tells, he wants his daughter save and how can she be save, when the parents of her friends follow a mass murderer?

And yeah, this is how the Winter Soldier destroyed Dumbledore’s plans and didn‘t even know it.

And yeah. Draco starts also acting (he‘s really good at it) and is a part time teacher in Durmstrang. Natalia is doing princess stuff, represents her house in the wizarding world and just lives her life.

They marry some years later (the biggest wedding of the century after Natalia‘s parents).

Masterlist

[nad-zeta]

Match up ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

hey love ! may i have a ikesen match up please? (*´꒳`*)/ i’m not the best at these, so i apologize if i rambled !

about me ;

( fem. isfj. gemini. hufflepuff. )

i’m generally pretty quiet & reserved, but depending on the person, i can be social ! i tend to look very serious, but i swear i’m just an awkward dork who cares a lots about the random things ?? i’m generally like that worried « mom » type friend in my group— idk how many times i’ve been told « okay/yes mom » ; i think i’ve just accepted it at this point. i like to think i’m pretty kind & hardworking. i try to be very polite & courteous around people– patience being my main thing when interacting with others. with people i’m close with, my humors ranges from horrrible puns to sarcastic comments.

for some of my interests/hobbies— i really enjoy writing, reading, drawing (from time to time), playing sports (i have a competitive side lol!), learning, and listening to music. i adore cats, rainy/stormy weather & those late night conversations with close friends for some reason?? i dislike hot weather & when people cry (bc honestly i’m so bad at helping & i feel bad). i honestly am the person to go to for someone to listen to you as i’m not that confident in giving advice askadftjdsk.

thank youu for taking the time to read this- i appreciate you spending time on these !! ＾＾

Hi hi, love!🌻❤ Thank you so much for the request and for waiting sooooooo long!🔥 I hope you enjoy it and I hope you have the best day!🌻❤ 

So I match you with............. Yukimura 

The first time you meet Yukimura was when he saved you from falling to your death while you were running away from the Oda forces. He pulled you by the waist back to safety, and soon both of you realised just how close you were. Yukimura still had his arms around your waist, and the two of you were nose to nose, it wasn’t until Shingen made some flirty comment that the two of you instantly jumped away from each other, both blushing profusely. When you were with Yuki, your guard had dropped momentarily, but it was now straight back up, and your shy reserved demeanour returned.

Soon you were surrounded by yet another group of men, and these lot really did look like a mixed bag, you had the cold ice price, the flirty hunk, the extravagant artist, the forest ranger and then someone whom you instantly recognised, a nerdy-looking scientist. Just as your eyes met his, you could see that he, too, had recognised you. He pulled you aside and told you what had happened and that you had been flung back into the past. You were shook. Never in a million years did you think this was possible yet here you were surrounded by some of the worlds greatest warlords, 500 years in the past. Just then, the ice prince glared at you, and after seeing your frightened expression, his softened a bit, and he asked you if you would like to come and stay with them. This, of course, caused the whole group to gasp in surprise.

You made your way back to Kasugayama Castle, riding with the feared God of war. Once you returned you were named princess of the Uesugi clan and Kenshin basically adopted you as his little sister. Even though you were a princess, and you didn’t have to lift a finger, you didn’t want to feel indebted or take advantage of the warlord's kindness. So you started helping out wherever you could. You worked incredibly hard for the castle and its people, and soon you were loved by all the warlords and maids. Everyone adored your kind, courteous, polite manner of speaking, and you would basically get on well with everyone. There was one person in particular that you got on very well with, and that was Kasugayama’s blushy boy himself, Yuki. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but when you were with him you felt at ease, and you were yourself

Yukimura would often make aloof and blunt comments toward you, which would spark, the two of you to playfully bicker for hours and hours. Like one time you were running in the halls to deliver an important message to Kenshin when you almost ran straight into Yuki. After you had delivered the letter, Yuki caught up to you on his way to his next meeting, “Careful where you run wild boar, you almost knocked me over.” “You calling me a boar is rich considering we both know, who is the most stubborn between the two of us is, and just so there is no confusion, that would be you, wild boarman.” This little light bickering and banter was an everyday occurrence with you two, as one of you always had some goofy, sarcastic remark or comeback to strike up conversation with the other.

Yuki had come to love your awkward, dorky personality, and the two of you would often talk about the most RANDOM topics. He also really liked your competitive side, as you would often give him a run for his money. The two of you are always making a competition out of everything. “Hey race you to the tea house, the loser has to pay!” Yuki would always smile his boyish smile at you, whenever you would challenge him to a contest. “Oh, it’s on dummy, hope you are ready to pay for tea and lunch, cause there is no way I’m going to lose.”

And of course, he lost…. “Next time I’ll definitely win,” he would always say with the biggest grin and a slight blush. But of course, racing each other wasn’t the only thing the two of you cuties did together, after Yukimura found out that you loved playing sport, he taught you some self-defence/fighting moves. This, of course, would spark a wrestling/fighting contest between the two of you, which always ended in laughs. As just before Yuki would proclaim your defeat, you would bring out your secret weapon, which was the knowledge that this blushy boy is incredibly ticklish. And so a match would start anew.

It was a good thing that you are a mom friend because Yuki had a bad habit of pushing himself too hard for too long. He wanted nothing more than to get stronger so he could return back to his home town one day with Shingen. Whenever you would see him start to look dreary and tired, you being the classic mom friend that you are, would take him by the hand and lead him to your favourite spot in the garden. You would then sit down and pull him to sit down beside you, and before he even knows what's going on, you will guide his head to rest on your lap. He will legit be as red as a beet, causing you to chuckle at the sight of even the tips of his ears staining red in embarrassment. You will simply smile down at him and start lecturing him about needing to look after his health and needing to take breaks more often. You can't help but flick his forehead midway through the scolding session, as he rolls his eye and says; “yes mom.” 

One day, while you were giving this boy yet another lecture about overworking himself, and pulling your fingers through his hair. Yukimura can't help but be lulled to sleep by the soothing feeling of your fingers gently massaging his scalp and at your gentle voice laced with love and concern for him.

The two of you sat like that for a while, you stared down at the handsome man's face, and your fingers drifted by their own accord from his hair, to caress the lines of his face. You thought Yukimura was fast asleep, “I really love you, you know that boar, man.”

You were startled when all of a sudden, he moved his hand to cover yours, as he twined his fingers with yours and he looked up into your beautiful eyes, “I l-love you to dummy.” He then placed his other hand at the back of your neck and pulled you down to meet in a kiss. Shingen who had been out on the balcony had seen the whole scene unfold and he was honestly so happy that his little vassal had finally found someone to take care of him. Plus the two of you had been dancing around each other for a while now especially, whenever anyone would mention that the two of you made a cute couple.

Cause Yukimura knows that you love music, he will often take you to a late-night festival, where the two of you will sit under the stars together and listen to some good music. When the festival is over, the two of you would leisurely walk home hand in hand just making the funniest jokes and worst puns. It is definitely not uncommon for the two of you to stay up late into the night just chatting and sipping on tea. 

Yuki's favourite weather like yours is rainy, stormy days, even more so, now that he has finally found a lover to spend those days with. Whenever there is a storm or a light drizzle outside the two of you would cuddle up together in the fluffiest blankie and read. Sometimes it would be a book about the most random of topics, other times Yukimura would insist your read to him a piece of your newest writing. Sometimes the two of you would just be snuggled together each doing their own thing, you would read, and he would catch up on his reports.

Because you are a princess, you are always expected to attend every war council so that you could stay well informed about the happenings of the castle. You always found these affairs to be quite boring so you would sit and doodle. Once Kenshin saw how beautiful your little doodles were, he made sure to get you the best drawing pencils and papers to keep you entertained during councils. He especially loves the drawing you made of his little bunnies. This always made Yuki a little jealous, but soon that melted away as you would make him a drawing of his wolf pup. A drawing which he would proudly displays in his room for all to see.

Yuki really loves that you are more of a listener than a talker when it comes to giving out advice. He is often burdened with so much stress and responsibility that all he wants to do is just, be heard. He knows he can't go to Sasuke or Shingen cause they never really listen, just start to shoot off the most random of advice. But not you, you’re always there to lend him a shoulder to lean on and listen, as he unpacks his problems. Gently holding his hand and giving it a few squeezes during his story to indicate that you are still listening and there for him. After he is done unpacking his problems, he actually quickly finds his own solution. Just simply having talked to you was enough for him to see the problem more clearly. Of course, don’t fret cause this boy will do the exact same for you. 

Whenever you are feeling down, he will pull you into his arms and let you vent out all your problems, quietly listening while kissing your temples to remind you that he is always there for you

The two of you honestly make the cutest couple, always joking and goofing around, whether it’s making horrible puns or flinging sarcastic comments at each other, it’s always a good time. When the two of you are together, there is always some or other competition or challenge underway. But don’t stress as the two of you also share plenty of quiet moment, where you can just simply relax and enjoy the presence and company of each other

Other potential matches……………. Mitsuhide

I hope you enjoyed this dear and I hope you have the best day! 🌻❤🔥

[spaceshipkat]

Myth & Kat Read WS

before i dive in, a quick request: please do not send this to the author, as this is not meant for her but for any and all readers. we censor the name of the author, the characters, and the book title to help prevent her from accidentally stumbling across them thanks to tumblr’s fucked algorithm. my inbox is always open for anyone with reactions, questions, or thoughts as i read, so feel free to hop in there if you don’t want to reply directly to this post. 

if you don’t want to see spoilers, block the tag “ws spoilers” and Myth and i are both using the tag “myth & kat read ws” to keep everything organized. we’re calling this a practice run for when we read CCity together when it releases next year, so bear with us while we figure out what works best. Myth’s post on WS can be found here, and her comments will be at the bottom of this post.

and to preface this, i go into every chapter with an open mind, but (as Myth points out) i did get more annoyed the more i read, so make of that what you will

and with that out of the way...

Chapter 1

this is a multi-POV book and chapter 1 begins with Nadya peeling potatoes. riveting. apparently people really like this beginning, so i’ve heard, but eh. 

also, this is a personal nitpick, but i’m not the biggest fan of authors using the character’s first and last name when introducing them at the very beginning of the book, a la: 

Nadez/hda Lap/teva glared up at the mountain of potatoes threatening to avalanche down over the table.

we’re five 2-3 sentence paragraphs in and already we’re supposed to feel fear for what’s happening, despite the only normal to exist so far is that Nadya is peeling potatoes and grumbling about the clerics who care for her (and who we’re supposed to care for later on, when Nadya starts worrying about their deaths, despite the fact we’ve met none of them)

“Did you hear that?” Konst/antin acted like she hadn’t spoken. His paring knife hung limp in his fingers as he listened.

grammar. why. 

“Did you hear that?” Konst/antin asked, freezing with his paring knife pressed to a potato.

was that so difficult? 

She tried to be glib, but the idea of the High Prince anywhere near the monastery made her shiver. He was rumored to be an extremely powerful blood mage, one of the most terrifying in all of Trana/via, a land rife with heretics.

ahhh i love a good exposition dump first thing. this could easily have waited until later on, when the High Prince (why is that capitalized) actually makes an appearance. at the very least, she could’ve just left it as “but the High Prince was rumored to be an extremely powerful blood mage, making her shiver at the thought of him attacking the monastery.” it’s not good, but better (as always, when i rewrite things, i try to stay with the author’s words rather than using ones of my own, simply to show that it can be done with their words--it’s not the words’ fault, but the author’s). plus, we know nothing about the monastery or why Nadya is even there, apart from peeling potatoes and making bad potato jokes that i’m sure ED hoped would add some levity to the book, so we have no reason to feel worried about the High Prince making a surprise appearance. 

Filling Father Alexei’s washing bowl with a red dye that looked like blood, though, that was what had done them in.

Blood wasn’t a thing to be made light of, not in these times.

the chapter should’ve started with this prank so we’d 1) have more of a connection to Nadya and Kostya’s friendship, 2) see more of the world-building in the sense of how important blood is, and 3) actually meet one of the clerics we’re supposed to care for. also, please just write it like this, ED: 

“Filling Father Alexei’s washing bowl with a red dye that looked like blood had done them in.” 

again, not great, but it’s better

Father Alexei’s rage didn’t end in the cellars. After they scaled Potato Mountain—if they scaled Potato Mountain—they still had hours’ worth of holy texts to copy in the scriptorium. Nadya’s hands were already cramping just thinking about it.

this? this isn’t enough to make us care for him. in fact, the way Nadya talks about him makes us not care about him, even though we’re supposed to worry about him later on in this chapter and the next. (Potato Mountain just hurts my brain. is this supposed to pass for humor?) 

Cannons only meant one thing: blood magic. And blood magic meant Trana/vians. For a century a holy war had raged between Kaly/azin and Trana/via. Trana/vians didn’t care that their blood magic profaned the gods. If they had their way, the gods’ touch would be eradicated from Kaly/azin like it had been from Trana/via. But the war had never reached farther than the Kaly/azin border. Until now. If Nadya could hear the cannons, that meant the war was slowly swallowing Kaly/azin alive. Inch by bloody inch it was seeping into the heart of Nadya’s country and bringing death and destruction with it.

why couldn’t she have found a better way to tell us this than an ill-timed info dump? we’re supposed to be worrying about an attack (with all the number of times cannons are mentioned) and yet here we’re being given a lesson. 

also, i’m particularly not fond of these four sentences in particular: 

But the war had never reached farther than the Kaly/azin border. Until now. If Nadya could hear the cannons, that meant the war was slowly swallowing Kaly/azin alive. Inch by bloody inch it was seeping into the heart of Nadya’s country and bringing death and destruction with it. 

for one, fragments hurt me on a physical level when they’re used this often, and for another, i don’t care that the war has come, i don’t care that Nadya’s country is being invaded, i don’t care that Trana/vians want the gods eradicated. i’m typically fond of third person, and usually prefer both reading and writing it, but this is all happening so distantly that i might as well be hovering over the entire scene. 

Nadya looked at Kostya, whose gaze was flint-eyed but fearful. They were just acolytes with kitchen knives.

they both actually hold their own in the fight, so no idea why this is even here besides trying to build up suspense.

Kostya grabbed her hand and shook his head slowly, his dark eyes solemn.

“Don’t do this, Nadya,” he said.

“If we are attacked, I will not hide,” she replied stubbornly.

“Even if it means a choice between saving this place and the entire kingdom?”

now would be a good time for exposition. if you have to use a reader’s lack of knowledge to build up suspense, especially in chapter 1, especially when you’re bouncing around the truth that anyone would have naturally thought of first irl, you need to revisit your stakes. 

so a couple paragraphs before this:

She would protect the only family she had; that was what she was trained for

she was saying that she and Kostya were just acolytes with kitchen knives. if that’s the case, what have they been training in? (and no, i’m still not connected to the monastery at all. we’ve only seen Potato Mountain, the kitchen, and the cellar, though neither of the latter two have been described as clearly as the former, which is a problem bc they’re just floating heads rn)

Nadya had been told the protocol countless times. Move to the back of the chapel. Pray, because that was what she did best. The others would go to the gates to fight. She was to be protected.

we are seeing none of this, fwiw, and i still feel no fear 

Can I have that?” Nadya reached for Anna’s dagger. Anna wordlessly handed it to her. It felt solid, not flimsy like the paring knife.

 “You shouldn’t be here,” Anna said.

Kostya shot Nadya a pointed look. In the monastery’s hierarchy, Anna—as an ordained priestess—outranked Nadya. If Anna ordered her to go to the sanctuary, she would have no choice but to obey.

if Nadya isn’t supposed to fight, why would Anna hand over the fucking blade in the first place? Nadya also takes off to fight and Anna does nothing to stop her. 

Nadya once wished she could blend in with the other Kalyazi orphans at the monastery, but the truth was, for as long as she could remember, when she prayed the gods listened. Miracles happened, magic. It made her valuable. It made her dangerous.

why can’t she blend in? as far as i know, she doesn’t have “i can talk to gods” tattooed on her forehead, so there’s no reason she couldn’t blend in. and for that matter, we’ve met only three people and heard of two more, so how are we to know that Nadya really doesn’t fit in? 

this: 

To the left ran a path leading to the men’s cells; to the right, another trailed off into the forests where an ancient graveyard that held the bodies of saints centuries gone was kept by the monastery.

should’ve been written like this: 

A path on her left led to the men’s cells, the one to her right leading through the forest to an ancient cemetery holding every saint who had once lived in this monastery.

and this: 

It snowed most nights—and days—on the top of the Baikkle Mountains.

should’ve been this: 

Rarely did it stop snowing on the Baikkle Mountains.

still not great, but still better

Nadya scanned for Father Alexei, finding him at the top of the stairs. The priests and priestesses who trained for battle waited in the courtyard and her heart twisted at just how few of them there were. Her confidence faltered. Barely two dozen against a company of Trana/vians. This was never supposed to happen. The monastery was in the middle of the holy mountains; it was difficult—almost impossible—to reach, especially for those unused to Kaly/azin’s forbidding terrain.

it’s been hinted at that Nadya is in the monastery thanks to her power to commune with gods so she can be protected from those who would use her for that purpose (although why the Trana/vians want her is a mystery, considering they seem to be an atheist culture), so why isn’t she more well-protected? it’s common knowledge the Trana/vians are bred for war, so it shouldn’t come as too great a surprise when they decide to attack the monastery.  

Nadya raised her eyebrows expectantly, willing [Father Alexei] to accept her place here. She had to stay. She had to fight. She couldn’t hide in the cellars any longer, not while heretics tore apart her country, her home.

WE HAVE SEEN NONE OF THIS. WHY ARE WE SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT HER COUNTRY? WHY DOES SHE CARE ABOUT HER COUNTRY? for that matter, she’s been told that, in the event of an invasion, she needs to hide in order to pray, and yet suddenly Father Alexei is cool with her standing there to fight with him???

How could the Trana/vians know she was there? The only people who knew Nadya existed were in the monastery.

Well … there was the tsar. But he was far, far away in the capital. It was unlikely news of her had spread into Trana/via.

The spell was a ploy for time; if the Trana/vians had a blood mage who could counteract her magic, it wouldn’t last.

her magic is literally given to her by the gods, and yet blood magic can counteract that? beyond that, how can she form the gods’ magic into spellwork in the first place? they’re fucking gods???

But the possibility of a Trana/vian lieutenant or general—a mage promoted because of sheer magical power alone—made her feel like running back into the sanctuary where she belonged.

[The goddess] Marz/enya scoffed at her doubt.

1) does ED realize that the ranks of general and lieutenant are nowhere near each other? 

2) yay more immortal beings acting like teenagers. i love when gods scoff

imma rewrite this: 

A hard chunk of ice slammed into her back, pain ramming down to her toes. She was thrown onto Kostya and they both went crashing to the ground.

like this: 

A chunk of ice slammed into her back and threw her onto Kostya, knocking them both to the ground. 

it’s not good, but it’s better and keeps the narration active, not passive. 

The courtyard became thick with magic and steel as soldiers swarmed up the stairs.

if the cannons were just firing at the mountain (and the city at its base?), how tf did the soldiers march up 7000 steps in a matter of minutes, especially since Nadya had just frozen the stone? yeah they have blood magic, but it’d take them a few minutes to realize the ice was magicked and not natural. 

Panicked prayers to the gods would only be met with more magic; Nadya had to decide for herself how it was used.

she hasn’t once wondered why the gods give her magic. sure she may have accepted it, but this is a book and readers need to at least be aware of the fact she doesn’t know why she has magic (or, if she does, that she knows why)

Pure, white light followed her touch and though she wasn’t entirely sure what it would do, she found out quickly enough when she sliced a Trana/vian soldier. She only caught his arm, but like a poison, the light blackened his flesh at the point of contact.

*squints at Sha/dow & Bone*

She staggered back into Kostya. The urge to drop her voryen needled at her hand.

I killed him. I’ve never killed anyone.

okay but she literally just said that every child of war-torn lands need to know what to do when the enemy comes calling, yet suddenly she’s quibbling over killing an enemy soldier?

Just when she thought she could take no more, [the god] Vece/slav’s presence swept in, enveloping Nadya like a heavy blanket. He soothed out the magic, pushing it away until she could breathe. She hadn’t called on him; he had simply known.

suddenly she doesn’t need to talk to the gods to make them help her? is it too much to ask that we’ll know why???

There were whispers of the Trana/vian High Prince throughout the monastery. A boy made general a mere six months after venturing to the front when he was sixteen years old. One who had used the war to fuel his already terrible grasp of blood magic. A monster.

maybe general means something else in the Trana/vian army, bc there’s no fucking way he would be made a general at age sixteen

It was a slaughter and it was her fault. The Trana/vians wouldn’t be there if not for her. If she died, would that make this massacre worth it?

yeah i don’t really care? she’s still given us nothing to base our feelings about the monastery and everyone in it on. we don’t even really have a reason to care about her yet. 

She stared at him, horrified. Run? After everyone she loved had been cut down she was supposed to flee to safety? What would that make her, if she ran to save herself? The monastery was the only home Nadya had ever known.

no matter how many times you tell me that it’s her home, i still don’t care. the chapter started with her complaining about her chores, which was the first impression of her home we got, so why are we suddenly supposed to care?

She couldn’t break free. She could only stumble as Anna pulled her to a mausoleum, kicking the door open. The last thing she saw before Anna pulled her into the dark was Kostya, his body shuddering as another bolt thudded into him.

in case it wasn’t clear, i still don’t care

to conclude, this scene should’ve happened in chapter 2. the book throws us into the action far too quickly, without any buildup to make us see the normal become abnormal, to make us connected with any of the characters who we’re clearly supposed to care for, and does nothing to prove that Nadya really loves the people who look after her. if chapter 1 had started with the prank, sent them to the kitchen to peel potatoes, and ended on the attack beginning, it might’ve been different. i’m always a character reader, so i prefer slower beginnings, but i can sometimes appreciate a fast-paced one. this is not one of those times. 

Myth Responds:

Welp, Kat was both more thorough and more annoyed than me, though we agree that we needed more time with the characters to care as much as the book tells us N/ady/a does. Also the awkward phrasing. This really does feel like it should have come later in the book (second or third chapter, maybe?) just to let us understand life and form a connection with other people. K/osty/a could have been a fully realized character who we mourned. We all know I’m not usually a fan of Look At This Feeling kind of writing, either.

THAT BEING SAID. I’m hopeful and nobody can take that away from me!

Bonus for Tulio gif.

[applecherry108]

I wonder if there’s some sort of correlation between like, tumblr’s white supremacist problem and it’s hyper morality problem. By which I mean, apparently, debating is a tactic used by the alt right to skew opinion to their side. Because they don’t care about facts or the truth, so debating them won’t change *their* minds, but it might like, seed enough doubt or curiosity or whatever into someone else’s mind? I’m not exactly sure how it’s supposed to work, but I know I’ve seen posts and analyses detailing this phenomenon.

Anyways, I can’t shake the feeling that this is also the same reason why tumblr’s black and white thinking has only become more stark in recent years. I think of this because I saw something on my dash about user pizza. Yes, pizza. For those too young to remember, she was a mega popular blog back in like, 2012. She also, at some point, had a tag specifically for posts that used the n-word. And she got called out for it. She has made the stupid tag (not as trigger warning, but like, bc she thought it was funny?), long before she got popular. I think she was still pretty young when she did it, like, 13 or something. Anyway, people dug it up and got mad, and she apologized, deleted the stupid posts, and that was that. Because it was a dumb mistake from when she was a kid, and she had grown and learned, end of story. But on the same note, around the same time (2012-ish), there was a popular artist named Zamii. And while I was never particularly fond of zamii’s style, I saw the drama surrounding her. I remember a huge curfuffle about her saying trans women weren’t women, but when I read the post, it was clear that she was just a cis kid who didn’t 100% understand all the terminology. Basically, she had insinuated that female and trans female were two different genders while trying to answer an ask regarding pansexuality (or bi, or something). It was obvious that the negative insinuation was accidental. It was obvious to me, still an adult at the time, that it was an honest mistake and that she was just a little confused about the (then quite new) terminology.

And she was run off the website. She had deleted the post and apologized, she made ANOTHER apology, and she was still sent death threats and I remember seeing whole campaigns about why she’s so awful (all of which I knew to be things she had since corrected in her behavior and, surprise, apologized for). I remember not seeing anything from zamii for months and months, and then I remember going to her page and find a video of this CHILD in tears, calling herself trash, that she knows she’s awful and she sorry and, ??? She made a MISTAKE. She made a mistake, apologized, and learned from it, but the death threats persisted and she made this heart wrenching video from the HOSPITAL bc she had tried to KILL HERSELF.

And I guess the point I’m getting at here is, this was an extreme case in 2012, but now in 2019 this sentiment is so fucking casual?? In 2012 it was hotly debated whether or not people deserve second chances, whether “they didn’t know any better” was a good excuse. Whether “this literal child was raised in a certain environment and don’t realize what these words mean” was of importance. It was DEABTED, and now I don’t even see the debates. I just see people, and especially kids 18 and younger, casually shrugging like, “well it still happened so they’re still shit” regardless of circumstance, of knowledge or understanding. And that’s?? Super fucked up??? It used to be deabted whether or not people could learn from their mistakes, now it’s not even a debate, it’s just accepted that everyis black and white and everyone of every age should always knows the immutable Right from Wrong. And it strikes me that maybe tumblr has fallen into this morality trap in the same way that the alt right has gained power: by debating and debating these things that should be common sense, like that people of any age can make mistakes, or whatever it is that the alt right fuckign disagrees with, that by hearing the extreme opposition given so much publicity, it’s shifted the general understanding of these things farther and farther into the opposition’s favor. The horrid slow slide of “well maybe they have a point about SOME things...”

People can fuck up. It could be an issue of age, or circumstance, or region—but anyone can make a mistake. The important thing is to look at HOW they respond to that mistake being pointed out, and no, they don’t have to be independently cognizant of their mistake in order for it to be forgiven. Pewdiepienisnq great example. If the first time he said something offensive and got called out, and his response was to be “oh shot really? Sorry, I won’t do it again.” And then he DIDNT, that would be forgivable. Even if we had to do a whole rinse and repeat for every terrible slur he used, if every time it went “you said this and it has not been pointed out to you before, but it is offensive (and here’s why)”, and every time he’d apologize and correct his behavior, then that’d be great! That’s society babey! Humans have an ever evolving language and relationship to certain words and none of us can be expect to know everything all the time, so the only important thing is to APOLOGIZE and don’t do it again. This applies to literally anything (except no brainless like....assault. And murder. Those sorta things).

Because here’s the biggest problem: what’s cool, or fashionable, or trendy one day may shift and be horribly offensive the next. Offensive in your face humor used to be funny, especially to the younger crowd, not 10 years ago. Now it’s shifted to being distasteful, and that’s okay. 30 years ago transvestite was an appropriate term to describe a transgendered person, and now it’s an offensive term. Culture and words evolve. Words can have extremely personal meaning. Like how some people are perfectly fine using queer but it deeply offends others. There’s nuance on everything, nothing is black and white, the world is shades of grey and it’s unfair to judge and jury people on such strict terms. As another example, there’s a world of difference between a black person using the n-word and a white person using it, even if they’re both said in anger and meant to cause offensive. Because there’s different circumstances surrounding these two nearly identical instances. So by the same token, it’s cruelly unfair to judge a child making a mistake to say, an adult who’s made a career off the same thing.

And at some point, it’s like tumblr culture just threw circumstance and nuance put the window, and I can’t help but notice the simalities of why that may have happened an how, to other problems current tumblr faces...