#my birthday is in this month too- heh heh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eggluverz · 1 year

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hello!! would like to request a modern au with blade, where he’s a idol and due to him being busy with work, he didn’t have the time to visit/spend time with the reader (can be gn! or fem!). hence, he took it upon himself to surprise his s/o

bonus points if they are in a secret relationship and let’s say the reader works as a barista, so imagine the chaos the cafe will be if they see idol! blade having a lover SHSHDHDH

take ur time to write it hehe :3

— EVERYTHING I NEED

In which you’re feeling down about not seeing your boyfriend in a few months and Blade takes time out of his busy tour schedule to surprise you.

PAIRING. idol!blade x barista!reader

WORD COUNT. 1780

GENRE. modern au, idol au, fluff

NOTE. thank u for the request !! <3 i chose gn reader btw :) this was soooo much fun to write ٩( ᐛ )و i enjoyed this sm but warning it’s so very cheesy heh if u don’t like fluffy romcom cringe look away :3 hope y’all like it xx sof

It wasn’t always easy having a long distance boyfriends of sorts. A busy long-distance boyfriend who you sometimes didn’t see in person for months on end.

You knew he was busy, but you also knew he dedicated most of his free time talking to you. The relationship was important to the both of you— There was no doubt in your mind about that. Still, there were times the sadness and loneliness crept in.

Today was one of those days.

It wasn’t a “special” day as one would say. It wasn’t your birthday. It wasn’t Blade’s birthday. And it wasn’t even an anniversary. But still, you missed him so much.

You had gone months without seeing him. Your only solace was knowing Blade has gone just as long without seeing you and missed you just as much. He has been in and out of the recording studio whenever he had time in between performances, which limited your ability to call or even text each other even more.

You were aware the life of an idol could get hectic at times, you knew that well before the two of you started dating. But at times, it took more of a toll on you than you would expect.

“What’s gotten you so down in the dumps?” The voice took you out of your negative thoughts.

You turned to look at your close friend and coworker, Serval. You sighed, thankful afternoon rush hour had just died down so only few customers were at the coffee shop. “Nothing, really. Just missing Blade.”

She patted your back sympathetically. “I can only imagine. It’s hard enough barely seeing my brother because of military service.”

“How is Gepard, by the way? I haven’t seen him in ages!”

“He’s coming back for a bit next month! We’re having a little party if you want to come,” said Serval excitedly. “But back to you and Blade. When is the last time you saw him?”

“Over two months,” you said with a pout. You knew some people in long distance relationships would view that as nothing— Some would even be grateful that a month of not seeing their partner was a long time. But that wasn’t you and you felt yourself growing more dejected each day. “We haven’t even video chatted or called for longer than ten minutes in the last few weeks.” You tried to look on the bright side. “But at least I know he’s doing what he loves. I just hope management isn’t pushing him too hard.”

“That’s a big ask for money-hungry corporations,” Serval said dryly. “Poor boy is definitely overworked. Have you seen their back to back show dates? It’s all over social media. I’m sure he’s using any possible moment he can to spend time with you without being too obvious and letting the press know about your relationship.”

You nodded, trying to cheer yourself up the moment you saw a group of customers walk in. It was the end of work hours for most office workers around here so you mentally prepared yourself to give your best customer service smile. “I know he is doing his best. I just get sad about it sometimes, but I know it’s all worth it.”

“There you go.” She smiled. “And you’ll see him in no time, I’m positive. But for now, get ready for the evening rush!”

“One step ahead of you,” you sang, already at the cash register prepared to take the orders.

As you greeted the hoard of customers and helped your coworkers make drinks if they needed extra hands, you realized the rush lasted longer than normal.

“Is today international coffee day or something?” you asked as you passed by Serval. “It’s crazy busy right now.”

She shrugged, placing two drinks down at the ready table. “Not that I’m aware of. But this has been more than a rush hour. The sun isn’t even out anymore.”

“And people are coming in without buying anything or sitting down?”

As you wondered what was going on, you heard a loud, high-pitched scream coming from outside. The sound was followed by more and more squeals of excitement.

You and Serval looked at each other.

“Speak of the devil,” she said, shaking her head with a grin. “What a grand entrance.”

All reason left your mind as you were filled with hope and joy. You looked back at Serval, asking for permission to leave the cash register.

“Go,” Serval laughed. “I’ll cover the rest of your shift.”

“Thank you! I love you!”

With a big smile on your face, you rushed out of the coffee shop and pushed through the crowd outside. Standing tall above the group of fans, Blade stood there with black sunglasses and a face mask— A poor disguise that did little to nothing to protect his identity.

You lifted your hand up and waved from the back of the crowd, unsure if he would even be able to spot you amidst all the people. You wondered, even, if you should acknowledge him like this in public. You knew the press was crazy and the fans could be even crazier. Blade’s manager thought it was for the best he keep your relationship away from public eye.

But he was right here. And you didn’t want to wait another second before running up to him and giving him the biggest hug. Still, you refrained.

You did not want to jeopardize his image, no matter how much you wanted to give him a kiss right now.

Blade looked around the crowd before his gaze landed in your general direction. He lifted his shades to expose his captivatingly red eyes. When he saw you, he gave you a crooked smile.

“There you are,” he called, his deep voice rumbling over the muffled chatter of his fans. “It’s been too long.”

He maneuvered through the crowd, ignoring all the photos his fans were taking of him. The only thing Blade was paying attention to was you. Not caring you were in front of a large crowd, Blade immediately takes you into his arms. Time stops as you feel yourself melt into his embrace. The scent of his expensive cologne filled your senses, your face warm as it laid flushed against his chest.

“I missed you,” he murmured into your hair.

“I missed you, too,” you said. “But when did you get here? I thought you were in another continent? And are we allowed to be like this in public?”

As happy as you were to be with him, you didn’t want to get him in any sort of trouble with his management company.

“I got here just a few hours ago.” Blade rubbed slow circles on your back, not releasing you from his embrace. “I have a show in two days but I needed to see you. And, yeah, I might get in trouble by management but who cares?”

You pulled back urgently, looking up at him in concern. “You should care! I don’t want you to put your career in danger.”

Blade frowned and closed to distance between the two of you once more. “Management has worked me to the bone for years, if they want me to keep working for them, then they’ll have to put up with this being public. I’m tired of hiding you.”

Your arms wrapped around him, a small giggle escaping your lips at how ridiculous this must have looked to the public. You didn’t like being in a secret relationship either. You knew it was for his work, but when you happened to watch his interviews and had to hear him lie and say he was single, it hurt your heart, just a little.

“Besides, at this point in my career, I’m sure they need me more than I need them,” he said with a cocky look on his face. Even with his mouth and nose covered by the mask, you could see it in the crinkle of his eyes.

“That’s my Bladie,” you teased, running your fingers through his tangled hair. “Mr. Popular and you know it.”

“And I also know I want to be alone with you right now,” Blade said with a smirk. “Is your shift almost over? Let’s go back home once it ends.”

“Serval said she’ll cover the rest of my shift for me. We can go home now.”

“Thank you, Serval,” he said happily. Blade held your hand as he lead you to his car. “I might have to drive a little fast to lose the fans that’ll inevitably try to follow us. Is that okay?”

You noted his mischievous smile and laughed. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the thought of escaping them excites you.”

“I’m a simple man.” He opened the passenger door for you and gave you a small slap on the ass as you crawled in. “Buckle up, baby.”

“I can’t believe you did that with everyone watching!” you cried as he gently shut the door. You shook your head even though you knew he couldn’t see it. “It’s a good thing I love you.”

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

When you woke up the next morning, your phone was filled with texts from your friends. You opened Serval’s first.

Serval: LOL guess who’s famous now

Serval: #CoffeeShopASScape #BladieOnTheLoose ... all the trending hashtags are about you and Blade

Serval: I wish you luck LMAO

You stifled a laugh, only mildly concerned about what people had to say. As you shuffled around on the bed, Blade stirred awake. He inched closer to you and lazily draped his arm around your waist.

“G’morning,” he mumbled.

“Good morning,” you greeted, kissing his forehead. “Blade… Have you checked your phone yet?”

“Yeah, when I woke up an hour ago. My manager let me know just how much chaos I caused over voicemail. Then I decided to go back to sleep with you and deal with it later,” he said simply.

“Blade!”

He noticed the furrowed crinkle between your brows and he rubbed it away with his thumb. “Don’t worry, babe. I’ll get it all sorted out eventually. All that matters is I’m here with you right now.”

“You’re right. Let’s enjoy this before you have to go back on tour,” you said, placing your phone on your nightstand and ignoring the notifications lighting up your phone. “And if damage control is too hard to deal with, know that I’m always here for you. I’ll answer your call even if it’s in the middle of the night here.”

Blade cupped your face and softly kissed your lips. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“I ask myself the same thing,” you said with a smile. “Now, wanna get some coffee?”

#I LOVED WRITING THIS IT MAKES ME WANNA WRITE THIS FAKE DATING CELEB!BLADE X CELEB!READER AU NGL...#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail #blade hsr #blade x reader #hsr blade #hsr fanfiction #hsr #hsr blade x reader #idol!au #hsr imagines #hsr scenarios

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jerzwriter · 2 months

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Happy Birthday, Baby! 🩷🤍🩷

Every time Ainna (@/artbyainna - IG) creates something for me, I say it's my new favorite, but this time, I doubt it will ever be topped!

Last month, I was busy and going through some stuff, so I completely forgot to get a slot with Ainna. Imagine my surprise when she reached out a few days later and said, "a secret someone" got a slot for me. It honestly couldn't have come at a better time. I was so down and this act of kindness lifted my spirits so much. When she said my slot was 7/24, I knew what we were going to do! Casey's "birthday" is 7/26, and this had to come to life. And OMG, I could NOT love it anymore.

When Ainna sent me the final today, I sent a sneak peek to just one person... @lucy-268. Not ten seconds later, I got a message from Ainna saying, "By the way, this was from Kathy (aka Lucy-268)." The coincidence was wild! And given that Kathy & I are total Tobias stans - it was perfect! Kathy was so glad I chose to do Tobias & Casey (naked Tobias at that! lol), and I'm so touched by her generosity & kindness. Thank you SO SO much, my dear friend! You have no idea how much this lifted my spirits when Ainna told me initially and again today. I'm so blessed to have you in my life, and now, we're all blessed with this art! 🥵 Yeah, her birthday is July 26th, but I'm not sitting on this one! Though Casey probably will, but I digress. 😏😏😏 This deserved a little fic - which can be found below. Thank you again, Kathy! You're the best! 🩷🤍🩷🤍

Book: Open Heart (Post Series) Pairing: Tobias Carrick x F!MC (Casey Carrick) Featuring: Bryce, Ethan, Aurora, Sienna, Jackie Rating: Teen (It's racy, but not that racy) Words: 1,700 Summary: Tobias wants to make this a birthday that Casey will always remember, so he plans a girl's night out for her and her friends. Once they're gone, he and Bryce start the second part of his plan. Eventually, Ethan gets dragged in, too. It's definitely a night to remember! A/N: Mostly already above, but some at the end, too!

🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍

Tobias stood in front of his townhome, a sparkle twinkling in his bright blue eyes as he watched the white stretch limo disappear into the night. Casey popped her head out of the sunroof just moments before, enthusiastically waving and blowing kisses as her friends raucously cheered her on. He was determined to make this birthday special for her, and it looked like his mission was a success.

He stepped back inside and shut the door with a sigh, leaning against it as Bryce approached, placing a freshly made strawberry mojito in his hand.

“Man, did you see her?" He asked. "She looked amazing tonight."

“She sure did,” Bryce agreed, spreading out on the couch with a massive bowl of chips on his lap. “You did good, T. The girls’ night out idea? Legendary! I’d say you’re bound to get it now, but...”

“Yeah,” Tobias chuckled, getting comfortable in his recliner. “I’m not worried about that ever. But I am slightly worried about tonight."

“Tonight? Why?”

“Did you see her? She could give up medicine and be a freaking model. Goddamn, one day, that woman’s going to realize she could do much better than me. Let's hope that night isn't tonight."

Bryce went pale; he rushed over to his friend and placed his hand on his forehead.

“What the hell are you doing?” Tobias asked.

“Checking to see if you had a fever! Since when have you thought there was anyone better than you?”

“Heh,” he chuckled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “You have a valid point there.”

“I mean, the rest of us always told her she could do better,” Bryce teased. “But she hasn’t listened so far. Now that you’re married with a kid and a cat, I think you’re safe, buddy.”

“You’re right,” Tobias let out a deep breath and clinked his glass against Bryce’s with a grin. “Besides, did you see that limo I got them? Now they’re off for dinner at Contessa, then a VIP table at The Grand... you’re right; I’m the best husband in the freaking world. What do I have to worry about?"

“Aaaand just like that, he’s back!” Bryce grinned, grabbing the remote to flip on the television.

A couple of hours later, as the guys ate pizza and watched mindless TV, Tobias’s phone buzzed. Casey sent him pictures of her and her friends having the time of their lives. Then, a quick message: I'm having so much fun!! I don’t care what anyone says! You’re my favorite husband! I adore you, baby. 😘

“Favorite husband,” Tobias laughed, rapidly texting back: Your ONLY husband, sweetheart! Have fun, baby. I love you.❤️

Bryce laughed with a mouth full of chips. “You are so freaking whipped. Now, what’s the surprise that I’m here to help you with?”

Tobias glanced at his watch. “We still have a little time to chill, but you're going to help me put up a balloon wall.”

Bryce raised a brow. “A... balloon wall?”

“Yeah,” Tobias said, pulling a picture up on his phone. Bryce’s eyes popped.

“That looks... complicated. T, you’re loaded. Couldn't you have just hired someone to do this?”

“Dude... the kit says ages ten and up. We’re seven times that between us. We both managed to graduate med school, right? We’ve got this.”

Two hours later...

Perched precariously on the top rung of a ladder, Tobias carefully balanced a cardboard frame brimming with balloons.

“I’ve got it... I’ve got it! I’ve got it!” he shouted just before the frame slipped from his hands, plummeting onto Bryce, who found himself entangled in the balloons, looking like a large cluster of pink and white grapes.

He glared at his friend as he untangled himself. “T. I think it’s about time that we admit... we absolutely do not have this!”

Surrendering, Tobias climbed down the ladder, cursing under his breath.

“You're right! Now, what the hell do we do? Normally, I’d call Sienna at this point, but....”

“Yeah, no,” Bryce laughed, scrolling through his Instagram feed. “Right about now, she’s five martinis in, and based on this picture... she’s getting a lap dance.”

“A lap dance!” Tobias’s eyes went wide. “From who?”

“Your wife,” Bryce cackled, handing Tobias his phone.

Tobias couldn’t wipe the smile from his face. “Well, I'm glad they're having fun! But we need to call in some help.”

Twenty minutes later, Bryce answered a knock on the door. “Thank God you’re here,” he exclaimed. “We desperately need your help.”

“Your panicked phone call made that abundantly clear," Ethan groaned. “Now, what am I here to fix?"

Stepping into the living room, he saw Tobias sitting defeated in front of a wall of half-covered with balloons.

“Hey, buddy,” Tobias half-smiled, handing him a picture of what the wall was supposed to look like. We need your help.”

“With this?!”

Ethan’s face went blank. He looked from the picture to Tobias, to the wall, and back to the picture again, shaking his head.

“This. You called me for this. What about me has ever given you any indication that I would be of any help with... this.”

“I'm desperate,” Tobias pleaded. “Everyone who could be of any use to me is currently out celebrating with Casey. You’re it, man.”

“I don't know how to do this! How do you think I can help?"

“Look,” Bryce said, placing a hand on Ethan’s shoulder. “Three idiots are better than two; now, let’s get to work.”

“You’re so lucky I love Casey,” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Ethan instructed Tobias and Bryce to remove everything from the wall; they were starting from scratch. One hour, ten arguments, and three "confetti incidents" they swore would never be spoken about again later, the balloon wall was perfect!

“There you go!” Tobias said, brimming with pride. “A work of art!”

Ethan shot him a look as he poured a tumbler of Tobias’s most expensive Scotch, a reward for his hard work.

“How long before Casey gets home?” he asked. “I may as well stay to see how she reacts to our handiwork.”

“Oh,” Tobias smiled deviously. “I’m afraid you can’t stay for that.”

“Why not?”

“You won’t like all the... props,” he grinned.

“You don't scare me,” Bryce chimed in, stretching out on the couch. “I put in all this work. I’m waiting.”

“Suit yourself,” Tobias sighed. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

He texted Aurora, knowing she’d be the most coherent member of Casey’s entourage, for an estimated time of arrival. She said they’d be back within 30 minutes, and he asked her to help Casey to the door but warned her not to come in. He then turned to his friends and offered them a final chance.

“You've been warned," he repeated. "Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make the final preparations.”

The two men were engrossed in a conversation when Tobias returned, and they didn’t see him step into the back of the room. He positioned himself in front of a now perfect balloon wall, wearing nothing but the skin God gave him and one strategically placed mylar balloon.

The front door burst open, and Casey stepped inside, followed by her friends, who clearly hadn't listened to Tobias.

“Surprise!” Tobias shouted with a bright grin, drawing all attention his away.

“Oh my God!” Sienna gasped, quickly covering her face with both hands.

Casey burst into laughter, doubling over while everyone else stared, mortified but unable to look away.

"It's like a train wreck!" Aurora mumbled.

Ethan buried his face in his hands. “I did not sign on for this.”

Bryce shook his head, attempting to suppress a laugh. “This was definitely not in the plan.”

Tobias shot them a quick glance, “Hey, you were warned.” But his eyes quickly returned to the object of his affection as his beautiful wife rushed toward him.

“Oh my God," she gushed. "I have to admit, I did not see this coming!”

Tobias's eyes narrowed as he looked her over. “Oh, baby, there’s going to be lots of coming very soon!”

“Aaaand that’s our cue to leave!” Aurora announced. Ethan was already ten steps ahead of her, putting his coat on at the door.

“Hey, where’s everyone going,” Tobias hollered as Casey wrapped her arms around his waist, almost causing a wardrobe malfunction. “We’re about to put on quite a show!”

“You better believe it,” Casey beamed, squeezing him tight.

“We’re good!” Sienna yelled, rushing to the door. “We are so good!”

“Sienna! Wait!” Casey ordered. “Don’t leave before taking a picture.”

“A picture... but he’s... he’s naked!” She gasped in horror.

“Oh, come on!” Casey winked. “You're a doctor! You've seen naked men before."

"But in fairness, none that look this good," Tobias teased.

"True," Casey agreed. "But the balloon is covering the best part!”

“She has a point,” Bryce agreed, only adding fuel to the rapidly burning fire.

“Oh, things are coming to a point, all right!” Tobias droned.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake! Take the damn picture so we can all get out of here!” Ethan grumbled.

“Say uh... say cheese?” Sienna said as Casey reached up and placed a flirtatious kiss on her husband’s cheek.

“God, you look beautiful,” he whispered.

“Me?” she winked. “You look good enough to eat.”

“Aaand we’re out....” Bryce announced as the friends all rushed out the front door.

"This is how they end up with another little Carrick!" Jackie fumed.

“Happy Birthday, Casey!” Aurora yelled from the distance; then the door closed with a bang.

Once they were alone, Casey ripped the balloon out of Tobias’s hands with a grin. She read the inscription on the champagne bottle-shaped balloon.

“Make it pop, huh?” She smiled, lowering her eyes and dragging a manicured hand slowly up his thigh, then higher. “Looks like I’ve already completed the assignment.”

“You sure have,” he growled, slowly unzipping the back of her dress, his eyes lustfully taking her in as it fell to the floor. “Now, this is a team project. You completed your part; the rest is on me.”

His lips met hers in a passionate kiss as their hands roamed over the contours of their bodies. With a low groan, he lifted her as she wrapped her legs around him. He carried her to a velvet armchair and gently placed her down, leaving one of her legs draped seductively over the side.

He stepped aside to pour a flute of pink champagne, giving her another lingering kiss as he placed the gas in her hand.

"What's this for?" She asked.

"Your favorite, baby. You sit back and enjoy it," he smirked and dropped to his knees before her. "Relax, the rest is on me. I want this to be a birthday you'll remember."

“Oh, I assure you,” she said, her eyes fluttering shut as he began his ministrations. “It already is.”

Tobias stopped just for a second, reaching up for one last kiss. "Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet. Happy Birthday, baby."

🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍

I'm still light-headed over the art!

A/N: Participating in @julychallenge Pink: Love, Joy, Playfulness, Friendship and Black: Seduction, Attraction

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanart @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately.

#open heart #open heart fanfic #open heart fanart #open heart choices #choices open heart #tobias carrick #tobias carrick x mc #tobias x casey #choices fanfic #choices fanart #playchoices #playchoices fanfic #playchoices fanart #choices the stories you play #I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS!!!!#Happy Birthday Casey

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riewritten · 11 months

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YOU CAN LOVE ME EVEN MORE TONIGHT

ERWIN SMITH X FEM!READER

TAGS: porn without plot, masturbation, overstimulation, oral sex (m!receiving), creampie, body worship, multiple orgasms, bodily fluids, also my usual referenced noncon where erwin helps you overcome it, then you rewarding him for serving you with reverence, and idk just rie's usual filthy smut i think

WORDS: 2.1k

REMARKS: HAPEE BIRTHDAY ERWIN. to celebrate, this is a smut spoiling him rotten.

Your muscles are tingling, eyes lurking everywhere but him. Erwin senses your worry; hence, he holds your hand in comfort. "You okay? Oh no, you're sweating too much."

"I think it's one of the days again…"

You don't need to expound. Erwin knows well what it is about. You apologetically look at him, guilt riddling your nerves because of something you can't control.

"I wouldn't mind. Stop flashing that guilty look at me." Despite the firm command, his smile is warm and understanding. "What limits do I have in touching you for now? Are you comfortable with me holding your hand at least?"

When you were still new in the relationship, you always cried when awoken with a body that cringes at the thought of physical intimacy. Erwin told you that it wasn't your fault in any way. That healing isn't linear. You messily wept about how afraid you are that this could ruin your relationship as Erwin's fond of the said intimacy. Still, he told you not to undermine his capacity to understand you. It was a strict reminder, perhaps an order, but the way his smile could still be oh-so warm and understanding amidst would always be a wonder. Thanks to that, you eventually got accustomed to it.

"I think the best we could go for now is cheek kisses…? Hehe."

"Sounds great," he goes on to do just that. "What great progress you've made there," then calls your name in a slight tease, "you're now able to pinpoint your limits without crying."

"Yeah, your lectures bore fruit, I'd say.

"Heh, as it should. You're a bit hard-headed, after all."

Erwin returns your honesty by speaking his limits, too. You still lie together in bed at night. Still, when the cuddles unintentionally arouse him, he'd call for a break, albeit in slight guilt. You would nod in consideration, thankful that he is trying his best as much as you are. Then he quips again to commend you for not letting the guilt bawl your eyes out. He is proud, rightfully so, because he is well aware of how much it took you to be that comfortable, how much chaos it took to be this tranquil, and most especially, of unlearning the tendency to be frustrated at something you couldn't control.

Slowly but surely, as weeks passed, you could ground yourself again in your safe space. That space solidifies when Erwin gives you a chaste peck as you wash the dishes. You halt to grab him by the collar, soap staining his clothes along the way, but he doesn't mind at all. After all, he has a more significant concern: you finally kissed him again passionately. After three weeks of holding it in, his lips are on you again; his tongue is savoring your warmth again.

He holds your cheeks tight and hums in arousal, "You sure have a way of surprising me."

"I'm surprised, too. Remember the first time this happened to us, and I couldn't kiss you for two months?"

"Are you sure you're okay now, though?"

You nodded, "Let's try to settle with kisses for now."

"Mhm-hm," he cups your cheeks and kisses your forehead. "Such a strong girl for me."

You're not the only one being strong here, though—that's what you affirmed when you woke up in the middle of the night and noticed Erwin breathing heavily.

His hands are clasped to yours, and you can hear him moan your name repeatedly. At first, you thought he was sick but quickly noticed the synchronized up and down movements marking the blanket.

Erwin is touching himself.

You're not even hugging each other—it seems like he scooted you away from him before starting the act—all he settled for is holding your hand.

You hurry on top and engulf him in a kiss to inform him of your consciousness. Erwin squirms in surprise, but instead, you order, "Continue touching yourself, my love."

Erwin takes a while to process the situation, then shyly asks, "Are you sure?"

"Mhm-hm, please—" you whisper, then pepper his face with wet kisses. Lips then slide to his ear; you give it a smooth lick before begging, "Let me hear you."

The gesture sent a tremendous jolt over Erwin's body. You know his ears are pretty sensitive, and you only take advantage of it when you really want him to do something.

"Yes—hah—yes, love," he babbles, the jerking of his hand starts to produce a slick noise. Perhaps his pre-lubricated dick helped bring him a blissful release. You continue kissing him while on it; moans escape as you feel him messily biting your lower lip.

"You'd let me taste, wouldn't you?"

"D-do you—ah—do you want to—"

"I wouldn't ask if I don't."

As languid as ever, you slide your hands down below and join his hand in bobbing up and down his dick. He whimpers, and somehow, the sight of your composed, level-headed man whimpering helplessly underneath you exudes blissful shudders. Oh, to be loved by him. To be foolishly and utterly loved by someone like him.

"Just want—oh fuck—just want to make sure." Indeed he did because after your assurance, he grips a fistful of your hair and then guides you down to his protuberance. The gentleness of his hold says a lot about how your moment below him would go. The gentle touches are the least he could do to compensate for how hard he'd claim your mouth afterward. He couldn't control himself. Erwin, who has always been the epitome of control, could not embody such pride when faced with matters concerning your lovely mouth.

Your eyes widen, and tears build up on the tip of your eyes as soon as Erwin arches his back and spurts his cum deep down your throat. And even after he let it all out, he did not let go of your head. He trapped your mouth in his confines, ensuring you wouldn't waste a single drop because that's what you want. Erwin, honestly, would feel a bit shy if not for your persistence and enthusiasm. Anyone would think that pampering him like this, drinking all of him so lovingly, and more would be because you're under him, serving him with all you have.

But, as a matter of fact, Erwin is the one serving you. He likes everything you want to do, everything you want to explore. Hell, once you ask him for a child, he'd spend the whole night cumming inside you until you couldn't anymore and he's all spent and dry—messed up to his very core because that's what you want.

Erwin almost laughed at his thoughts; it was evident by the way he didn't let go of your mouth even after his dick softened. Instead, he bobbed your head up and down his limp cock, pumping every last of his fluid that might be left of him. You deserve it, after all. Earn your hard work. Swallow every drop. Have him by your mouth as earnestly as he would offer his life for you.

A month later, as if to reward him, you prepared a small gift.

"Come here, love," you speak from behind as soon as he enters the room, your back facing him.

Despite the bathrobe clad around your body, Erwin could notice the transparent cloth underneath. He had never seen this attire before. "You bought that?" he quips as he walks nearer, "That's quite a daring attire. Are you planning to get back at me for touching myself while you were sleeping?"

"Tsk, stop talking too much and sit in front of me," you glare, beckoning him to the soft cushion at the bedside.

Erwin senses your nervousness so he asks, "What's the matter?" but when he finally follows your command, his jaw almost drops. "Oh. Oh my word."

The anxiousness becomes even more apparent, quite unfitting for the promiscuous lingerie you were wearing, "Please tell me I don't look weird."

"I—" Erwin looks away with a chuckle. It wrapped your figure so, so well that Erwin couldn't find the words to express it. "Y-you're—"

"I am about to cry," you hitched in a panic, "I knew this was a bad idea!"

"No, no—" Erwin kneels to your level to clarify, only to no avail because he's still too awed to speak. However, with his eyes twinkling, you realize he might've loved it. A bit too much for your good, even. "You did this for me?"

You nodded, confidence slightly rising upon his enthrallment. "You seem so stressed lately so I figured to give you something pleasant to look at."

"Well, I quickly forgot what that might be." Erwin's fingers slide to the bra strap, linger towards your chest, flick the nipple that can be seen through the material, then watch your reaction—how you close your eyes, bite your lips, and tighten your hand on his wrist to encourage him more. "How gorgeous, your makeup matches well with the garment."

"For you, yes—mhm—just for you."

"Yeah," he chuckles in between, "my lovely, lovely girl, all dolled up for me."

He holds onto your shoulders and pushes you down the bed, then hovers on top with a thrilled look. Apparently, your outfit accentuates more when you're lying on the satin sheets. Did the fashion designers really craft it the way it'd look so pleasing when plastered on the bed?

His lips follow the traces of your neck, his favorite spot to nibble and mark, and he couldn't help but close his eyes at the lingering scent there. You, indeed, went all the way. The makeup, attire, the perfume. Oh, what did he do that made you prepare this? He must take note of it so he can do it again.

And so he gives you everything. Months of pent-up desire really did make him go all the way as if to reward you for doing the same. Noises fill the room and eventually reek of sex. Erwin didn't stop; he couldn't stop even if he wanted to take a break. The fashion designer must've crafted it the way it'd look so pleasing when the one wearing it looks so ruined from too much love. The lingerie ribbon eventually fell out, and your breasts went along with the bouncing of his cock going in and out, in and out, in and out, until you squirted all over his cock. Even so, he milked you dry. He kept thrusting over and over again, not bothered by his loud moans.

God, again and again, it's rare for Erwin Smith to lose his cool. If this stern man would be exposed as a sucker for his lovely girl, you could be used against him and he'd have no choice but to submit. It's that bad.

"I—ah—huh—" you babble, earning a husky chuckle from your man.

He cups your cheeks to ask why, a few drops of sweat dripping along the way, and oh, on everyday occurrences, you'd deem it disgusting, but tonight you want all of his tied to you. His sweat, his cum, his dick, his smile, his—

"Fuck," Erwin rasps, "you're clenching. Is this intentional, huh? Y'know I'm gonna cum? Want my cum inside?"

"Yes—fuck yes, yes, yes. Inside!"

That was the last straw of Erwin's control. He spoke of incoherent praises, unaware that it couldn't be understood anymore. When he raised your hips and brought your knees atop his shoulders, you huffed loudly and squirted again.

"D-don't pull out. K-keep—hah fuck, it's overstimulating—it inside," you cried. Even if it started to sting a bit, you did nothing but open your legs more and close your eyes to feel him.

"Mhm-hm, my love. Just a few more. Take a few more. You'll be a good lady for me and milk me dry, yeah?"

"I-I will!" you exclaimed, opening your legs wider. When you saw Erwin's eyes tightly closing and his mouth forming the shape of O, the next thing you felt was him spurting his cum inside you.

"Ah, hah, there you go. Fuck, take it—" Erwin thrusts, "fucking, hah—" he thrusts again, "fucking take it. God—" then thrusts for the last time until he drops his heavy body on top of you. You squeaked in surprise (and honestly, in slight pain), but Erwin just laughed and started nibbling again on his favorite spot on your neck.

You supposed the pillow talk is next, and perhaps after a few minutes, he'd be ready to go again—it's always been that way. However, just as you're surprisingly dolled up tonight, Erwin is surprisingly unconscious, too. His breathing is steady again, his heartbeat mellow. Even if you couldn't breathe properly due to his weight, you didn't bother removing yourself from his constraints.

You giggled, combed his soft blonde hair, heard him unconsciously hum in delight at the sensation, and you drifted to sleep not long after.

TAGLIST: @frenchdyer @watyousayin @collinnmckinley @aeanya @xiaotopia @cadenza-damour @grimistheangerinmystares | STORY SUBSCRIPTION FORM

MORE OF SWEET SUBTLETIES SERIES HERE

#erwin smith x reader #erwin smith x you #erwin smith x y/n #erwin smith smut #aot x reader #aot x you #aot x y/n #erwin smith x reader smut #aot smut #attack on titan smut #aot fanfic #aot erwin x reader #aot erwin x you #aot erwin x y/n #aot erwin smut #erwin x reader #erwin x you #erwin x y/n

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the-night-that-feeds-if · 2 months

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Hey everyone, dunno how long this might be, kind of doing a stream of consciousness style ramble about TNTF and me and stuff :)

alright so, tntf is getting a huge rework, this is my first if game ever, the coding is a little overwhelming, i know it’s fairly simple but it’s A LOT.

the reason i’ve been pretty quiet is mostly due to burnout, as some of you know i have health issues, i have crohns disease, i’m also autistic with adhd—something i love about this community is the understanding and acceptance for people/authors like me who may want to write but are just too stuck to be able to do it.

i know everyone is so jazzed for the next update, and i am too, there’s a few changes i’m making in regards to the technical aspects of the story, i’m removing stats, for the MC and for relationships. part of it is… i’m not a numbers person, trying to balance out the stats going up and down is a pain when this is planned to be a pretty damn long story. i also just don’t like it for my story personally, i don’t want you, as the player to feel like you have to game-ify personality or relationships.

this also opens the option for me to write more player responses to situations without having all of that annoying code in my brain~ MORE FLAVOR!

My writing has also vastly improved when it comes to fiction, a lot because i have been practicing so much while i’ve been sick (i’ve been playing with and writing AI chatbots on Janitor.AI, learning how to create a complex and realistic personality, an engaging character and world.) It’s been useful as a stress reliever and as a tool to help me write better, more descriptive etc.

on that note, smut in my game is also a very yes, i feel much more comfortable writing it now… heh.

i’ve also decided that all of my books are going to remain free, tntf was a planned three book series, it may just be one or two HUGE books, we’re going to have to see what i, and twine are capable of. but the story is going to span four countries and two continents of the world, so yeah.

the new rewrite is also going to slow things down considerably, because now we’ll have MC on a ship for four months as the intro, then meeting maddock and spending <insert amount of time here> with him while traveling to that little inn. it also gives me more room to introduce the characters a lot earlier but in their own POVs and not just while they’re with MC. i want the world to feel alive.

my decision to make and keep tntf free is because i want to.

i would not appreciate minors interacting with my content, but i also grew up with the internet, i know that no matter how much prevention we put in, minors are going to access our content regardless if it’s free or not. i just ask that if you are a minor and reading adult fiction, please don’t comment, dm or whatever, this is for your safety in the community as well as, i don’t want to deal with other people’s children on the internet, it’s nothing against any of ya’ll, you’re awesome, children are great but i’m almost 26, i really don’t want to deal with kids in what’s pretty much an adult space (i haven’t really seen books catered to the younger than 18 crowd, but like i’m saying, i’m more interested in forging connections with the adult community here, considering i am one, lmao *bats children away with pool noodles*)

i think that’s it

i might post more stuff but that’s my general direction

also to the asks in my inbox from last year on my birthday and forward… I READ THEM ALL AND APPRECIATE EVERY WELL WISH AND FEEDBACK, GENUINELY. i’m just bad at social media.

#the night that feeds #tntf #interactive fiction #tntf if #personal not if related #personal if related #dark fantasy #maddock #the hunger #captain ward #fellis

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robo-milky · 4 months

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“Hey, Carrots!

No need to look so offended, I’m not here to cause any trouble, you know~. No favors to ask of either. It’s your special day, isn’t it? It is! So I came by to give you a present.

…Yeah, okay, it’s not really much, but it’s a gift nonetheless. Coupon for a special pop for the birthday girl~. You have a favorite flavor or something? I’ll try making it into a pop for you. A dozen for free! I’m real kind, I know.

Oh, and before I forgot. You know Ashi, don’t you? Poor girl couldn’t make it today, so she asked me to hand you a gift bag in her stead. Proves my trustworthiness, doesn’t it? Heh.

No need to worry, I didn’t peek at it… Hold some higher standards for me, would you?”

Niko hands over the bag. It’s a cute, pink, petite bag with cat decorations on it. It holds some resemblance to the feline holding it herself.

Grabbing what’s inside, there’s a little drawing with a note attached. It’s written with words and symbols that seem impossible to verbalize, but somehow it’s easy to imagine a certain brunette bringing life to them…

Clochey! HBD fam!~ Super bummed I couldn’t make it, but I hope this prezzie has enough of my energy baked into it that it feels like I’m there! LMK ASAP ☆

I wanted to send you a cute lil’ message ‘cuz I’m real thankful for us being friends, YK? Even tho we aren’t super buddy buddy, I still totally enjoy your company. Eppy tells me enough about you that it basically feels like I’m hanging with you myself!

Anyway~ I wanted to gift smth more personalized for you, so I drew up a little drawing! It’s kinda like a postcard, but I tried putting one of your fave things on it ♡ I hope you enjoy!~

We should SO get talkin’ again soonsies! Wishin you a happy birthday and many more with a certain huntsman <3

Sincerely, Ashi ♪

Cloche hears a chuckle after she’s done reading the note.

“Wow, Carrots, your face is a little red… Wonder what Ashi stirred up for you to get you, the cold clawed kitty to get lookin’ like that. Well, privacy is privacy. Guess that’s my cue to leave.

Here’s hoping you catch a break from all the trouble around campus, hm? Enjoy your day~.”

HAPPY BDAY CHRIS!!!!!!! I HOPE YOUR DAY AND WEEK AND TBH MONTH IS SO BANGER. ITS SO DESERVED!!!!!!! 🫶 it’s been SO nice being your moot for like?? WHAT??? TWO YEARS OR SMTH??? TIME IS SO CRAZY. it’s been such a treat being able to interact n talk w you since the beginning!!! I GET SUPER HAPPY WHENEVER I SEE YOU IN MY NOTIFS <333 HBD again and I hope life treats you well!!!!! 🙏 blessing your pulls and turning them into pomepulls……….. tehepero

[Cloche’ Birthday Bash] *them referring to our dear freshmen

Okay first of all… ASHIIIIIII YOU’RE GONNA KILL ME I SWEAR !!! THE FACT THAT YOU SENT THIS SO EARLY??!?! THE INTERACTION IS EVERYTHING! I JUST LOVE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT SO NATURALLY- Fr, Niko just waltzing into Ramshackle then dipping- aND THE GORGEOUS GORGEOUS ROOKLOCHE ART- LITERALLY SCREAMING OVER THE POSE AND DETAILS- YOU SERIOUSLY OUT DID YOURSELF FOR THIS ONE! Rook carrying her and Cloche grabbing on to him to get closer- SAVANACLAW ROOK MY BELOVED- Muscle man frrrr- Ashi really caught on to the cat maid’s staring during Chapter 7 huh. AND THE DOODLES ON RHE SIDES ARE TOO CUTE- 😩

Epel yapping on about Cloche and totally not suspiciously asking Ashi about her roommate- Ashi internally sweating bullets when Epel doesn’t realize that everything he describes is the cat maid making up excuses to avoid him-

Also take this… Cloche walking up to Niko days later and asking for a bone marrow pop, and it takes Niko a few seconds to realize it was a joke 😭😭 Slow burn friendship trust-

Really, it’s so wild that it’s been 2 years- So glad to have you here and to celebrate with you again !! I think you really blessed my pome pulls with this one- seriously- man came on the 30th pull twice- Ilyyyyy If makes me super happy to see you in my notifs as well and may we continue to interact in the future!

#crying sobbing thank you #cloche’ birthday bash 🎊#oc: cloche🎊#mutuals 🎊#rookloche #cat scratches 🌸#niko cimarron #ashi tamadai #twisted wonderland #twst #twst oc #twst ocs #others ocs #twst yuu #twst yuusona #oc interactions #mutuals art

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ghuleh-recs · 4 months

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It was @forlorn-crows birthday like a month ago!! And I fuckin missed it! Jail for Liss. Jail for 1000 years. Better late than never, I guess. Crow is easily one of my favorite ghoul writers and I threw together a greatest hits rec list for the occasion! They are the mastermind behind Mushy May and the verrrry iconic Lake Wife™. On top of being incredibly talented, Crow is always so lovely and kind and supportive of their fellow creatives. Wouldn't it be a lovely (belated) bday gift if you left some comments/kudos on some of these? Maybe even stop by Crow's ko-fi while you're at it!

Lady of the Lake - Rain/Lake Wife™ - E, 11.6k

With all the dark magick flowing through the abbey, he wouldn’t be surprised if some of it leached into the surrounding area. Mountain’s told him all about the various creatures he’s seen on the edges of the forest: dark, shadowy things that live in the corners of one’s vision, flitting between downed trees and swaying ferns. They’re relatively peaceful entities that don’t seem to bother ghouls, humans, or other animals much. But their presence certainly hasn’t gone unnoticed. That same looming magick resides at the bottom of the lake. Something deep and ominous. Something big. Rain can’t make head nor tail of the sentient something that must live down there. He’s felt it most recently in the new beginnings of spring: big waves of living energy reaching out to him, calling to something buried deep in his ribcage. A creature reaching out to their kin. He supposes it could be a byproduct of the changing seasons, the rush of life seeping through the cracks in the thawing ice. But the feeling in his gut tells him it’s something more than that.

First and Fierce Affirming Sight - Mountain & Copia - G, 1.1k

Once in a blue moon he’ll retreat deep into the forest beyond the abbey to give himself a break from his mortal-like form, let that great maw of elemental power unleash and drain itself into the ether. Just once in a great while, to be fully released. Other times, it sneaks up on him like a cloud of darkness, pulling him under slowly. It gives him enough time to stifle it or manage it. If there’s warning signs, there’s time to keep it at bay. But times like these, it comes in the blink of an eye—like a flash of lightning in the middle of the inky-black sky.

Quicksilver - Dewdrop/Rain - T, 1.8k

Sunshine finally gets to braid Dewdrop's hair, but it gives him and Rain ~feelings~. (you have to read the sequel, too.)

And You Know That It Takes Two - Copia/Dewdrop - E, 3.7k

“Well, I do. Of course I do,” he assures the ghoul. “Quite fond of you all, actually. It was, admittedly, a little rocky when we first met. But.” There’s that heh Dew was expecting just moments before. “Here we are, no?” When Copia starts rubbing his thumb up and down the inside of his knee, Dew’s brain stops working. His gaze zeros in to the fingers splayed across the side of his thigh, so foreign, so bare, so pink against the black of his casual uniform pants. His mind is full of static and all he can hear is his own blood pumping through his head. But there’s a weird something tugging in his ribcage; something new yet old, unnamed but familiar.

and so it goes - Mountain/Rain - E, 1.6k

Rain hums the melody where the piano would play, glancing down at the ghoul curled around him. His shoulders start to shake, and he sniffles into the water ghoul’s shirt—attempting, but failing, to be silent about his tears. Rain stops. “Mountain, love, what’s wrong?” Immediately he shakes his head at the question, whining quietly. “Hey,” Rain urges, petting back his hair. “I’m here for you, can you try to tell me?” Hurts, Mountain pushes into his mind. “Where does it hurt?” Rain asks gently. The earth ghoul pulls back an arm from around his waist, gesturing to his own chest. Rain can see his face screw up, a silent prayer to stop the oncoming sob that threatens to work its way out of his throat. In here, he says. He points weakly to the side of his head too. And here.

Pull Me In Your Waters - Dewdrop/Mist - E, 4.8k

He’s such an innocent, carefree creature—one that has Mist’s fingers itching to touch, to ruin, to defile. Like he’s a mere mortal waiting to be drawn in by her hellish siren’s call. But there’s a budding affection underneath that, too. Call it kin, call it an elemental draw to each other, call it even a mentor-like protection over the fledgling ghoul. Beyond the lust there’s respect, admiration. An urge to simply get to know and raise the ghoul who’s set to take her place. She can’t deny there’s some weird, mothering nature buried deep within the confines of her stoney nature. But it is deep, and right now it’s very much shrouded behind a curtain of curiosity, of hunger.

Compromise - Aeon/Mountain - E, 2.9k

He and Aeon haven’t talked, not really, about where they stand with each other. There hasn’t been time, especially not when he’s constantly plastered to Rain and Swiss’ sides instead. Mountain understands. He does. But the longing for familiarity was too hard to ignore tonight, tugging him to Aeon’s room after a sour night at a local dive bar. or Mountain misses Aether. Who he has is Aeon.

Weigh Your Powers, Tempt The Hours - Aether/Ifrit - E, 2.3k

“You’re so pretty like this, you know that?” Ifrit blushes under his adoring gaze. His shaggy hair falls across his face as he ducks to hide. But Aether’s having none of it, reaching out to guide his head back up with a gentle hand on his chin. “You trust me, right?” “Of course I do. I want—” Ifrit pauses and takes a shaky breath. “Want to be good for you,” he finishes in a small voice, just barely above a whisper. “You’re always good for me, Fritter.” The quintessence ghoul runs the pad of his thumb across the point of his jaw. His voice slips to a lower timbre, slow and rhythmic. “You want to feel good too, don’t you?” Ifrit’s eyes slip closed, body relaxing ever so slightly. “Yeah,” he answers simply, forming the word on his exhale like an unholy confession. “You will. I’ll make sure of it.”

𖤐 you know the drill--bookmark, read, and leave kudos/comments!

Did I forget your favorite? You've got a standing invitation from me to add your own rec and reblog ♡

#hot damn it was hard to whittle this list down #sorry it's so late ♡#my fic recs #birthday mixtape #the band ghost fanfiction #the band ghost fanfic #nameless ghouls fic #mountain ghoul #nameless ghouls

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lacunajulie · 2 months

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Happy belated birthday, Lacuna!!!

xyzcfitiruxzdyd

Mod: I’m late, very very late, her birthday was on January 1st. But I keep pushing this post back until today.

Why did you set up this up? Was it just for my birthday or was it actually for new years too?

Cosmos: well to be honest with you

Hmm, so you just wanted to hang out like the old times?

Cosmos: Yeah! That’s for the most part!

Cosmos: It’s real nice to be doing this again, it’s been a long time since we’ve last done this. I would’ve included some others and Briar but knowing how that one argument went between Briar and you, it’s for the best we don’t for a good long while. We can invite the others next time, for now this is just for us.

You should be, if I’m being honest…

Cosmos: Huh?

Remember how I used to get upset when you used to not communicate things to me, when you really should have? When you would randomly disappear without telling someone or would go months without talking to us. I didn’t immediately tell anyone that I was back, that I’m alive and well. It took a month and couple of weeks for me to see Jonesy again and it’s not I like I was the one who went out of their way to contact him.

(Support looked like she was going to intercept the conversation but she didn’t?)

Cosmos: …Before I answered that, uhh I was curious about some things that I didn’t asked a while. Why did you disappear? Was just because of that one this? why couldn’t contact anyone earlier?

It felt like Everything was working against me at the time… I don’t even want to talk about it right now…

Cosmos: Oh!

Cosmos: Oh-I uhh

Cosmos: I was upset at some points.. At multiple points. It was because of you but only one point was actually directed at you, the rest were a consequence or well more of a result of you going missing…

Cosmos: Everything got to the point where, I thought that I would never see you again, thinking you might be dead, it was awful, just awful... I remember talking to Briar about it at some point, they have never been the best at comforting people and you two weren’t the closest but they truly did tried when you disappeared.

Cosmos: The last few years, have been a real curse and a blessing. Multiple things I can think of right to count, this multiverse. Our home knows where it hurts, knows how to change us for better or worse. Your disappearance was something I wasn’t prepared for, something I didn’t expect. It just happened, I didn’t know how to handle it. I still don’t… And now you’re back, a blessing I suppose. One I’m eternally happy for. I think that joy I felt and feel then and today outweighed any anger I had felt back then.

Cosmos: oh I’m getting quite emotional, aren’t I? Ok heh huh- I think we should consider to continue this conversation later- wouldn’t want to ruin your evening with all these tears, would we?

hah, you say that like a couple of measly teardrops are gonna ruin everything, well you must’ve forgotten who I am. A couple teardrops will not ruin anything if I have anything to do with it!

(Cosmos smiled at Lacuna)

Cosmos: you’re gonna have to wait to prove that, the fireworks are starting now.

Mod: and we’re done yayaysftscifsisccsiscig

#ask blog #welcome home puppet show #ask me anything #lacuna!julie #welcome home julie #welcome home arg #welcome home au #julie joyful #julie welcome home #answered asks #send asks #welcome home multiverse #wh multiverse #welcome home oc #Cosmos mayflower

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roosterbruiser · 1 year

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!! life update and face reveal incoming !!

we're doing a bullet point system!

had my very first one night stand. honestly? less than stellar! but I did it! the guy was kind of a loser, but we all have our things. he did like literally SLAP my tits so hard that I have massive bruises there now and I feel like that was a weird move bc we'd known each other for a grand total of about 10 minutes when we started having sex? anyway, it was insane having sex with like a stranger....don't know if I'd do it again, but you live and you learn!

overwhelmed with tinder honestly....I have over 1400 likes and I just......don't have it in me to do anything about them. but turns out I'm very good at flirting! and I'm also funny! was thinking about posting some screenshots of funny exchanges and labeling which ones are which member of the Dagger Squad! heh!

randomly matched with my ex (the one I was with from 14-17) on tinder and then we started talking and then we just........didn't stop? and like every single night since we started talking again, we've stayed up until 4am talking. what has shocked me the most is that we're getting along better now than we ever have before? and not to mention, he has like actually really apologized about things. not even just a blanket apology either--like a thorough one where he detailed things he did and told me that he was sorry.

he manages a movie theater so the first time we hung out, he took me to the empty theater (like we were the only two in the building) at like 10PM and we watched the new Evil Dead: Rise. and then the next night we parked at the lake from like 10PM-5AM and just....talked. for hours. about everything and nothing. it was insane! and then the next day, he picked me up for coffee and I met his puppy. we've been texting nonstop since. also he's literally taking me to the theater AGAIN to watch Top Gun: Maverick all by ourselves 😭

so in conclusion....I wanna fuck him. and maybe I'm catching feelings. BUT my sister and I are both very co-dependent people with have attachment issues (but at least we're self-aware) so I've decided to adopt her three month rule. so like, I have to talk to my ex for three months before I decide if I'm going to be in a relationship with him. not that it's going to happen or not but...you know!

the only thing is that I WISH I had more time to sit tf down and write! but I have a really busy weekend! I am so excited that I have so many asks to go through! and on that subject, if you sent me a birthday ask---I just fucking adore you! and KNOW that I saw it and KNOW that it made me giggle and kick my feet! however, I don't want to bombard all my followers with answering like 30 birthday wishes a few days late! BUT I LOVE THAT ALL OF YOU SENT THEM AND I WANNA KISS EVERYONE!

so today, I will be writing a bunch of requests and queuing them! I'm trying to get at least TWO posted today! looks like the next week or two will be dedicated to blurbs! but I can't wait to get back into my regularly scheduled posting! hoping to get that schedule out too!!

I'm really happy right now :)

okay here's my face reveal

be nice to me I'm fragile

#millie has a life outside of here apparently #and it still involved Top Gun: Maverick #miss all of you more than words can say!!!#and I can't wait to be more active on here again!!!!#yeehaw!!!#they say no one likes you when you're 22 #but that can't be true

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spicysix · 7 months

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girls make me wanna die

"the way we met not so unique / on the internet we make up things / a different story every person we see i'm writing poems and they're all online / under a different name, nothing like mine / i tried to tell her once, on a drunken night / but it came out all fucked like a bad pickup line i don't know when i fell. she doesn't know as well"

rating: T warnings: Eddie's trans in this fic, it's not a major plot point but it is a major Eddie characteristic heh. also, this is an Edancy fic, meaning Eddie and Nancy and i know that's not everyone's cup of tea so please for the love of god if you're not interested in this pairing, keep that to yourself, scroll the page, leave the fic untouched. don't like, don't read, all the maners. i think that's it word count: 6.1k author's note: fic idea and title from the song of the same name by The Aces. written for Lex's Spicy Six Summer Fanwork Challenge, for the prompt "rooftops". yes, i know i'm a little bit late (just six months), but it is Summer where i live right now so i think it still counts lmao. thanks again for hosting @thefreakandthehair ♡ also super thanks to my beautiful betas robin (@ronancevibes) and frankie (@blubblesandink) ♡

↳ read on ao3

I DON’T KNOW WHEN I FELL

The first time Eddie saw her, she thought she was a mirage.

It was Steve’s birthday party, and since the guy was still as popular as he used to be in high school, his house was packed. Eddie hadn’t seen her when she first arrived, and she later found out it was because she had been upstairs finishing getting ready with Robin.

But as she came down the stairs, all dolled up, a true femme divinity of Eddie’s most sapphic dreams, the neon lights were hitting her just right in a way that encompassed her with pink, purple and blue all around and it was one of the prettiest sights Eddie had ever seen. Eddie stood right at the end of the stairs and stared up at her, jaw on the floor, probably drooling all over her chin.

She probably could’ve fallen right then and there.

If she hadn’t looked at Eddie, still standing dumbly in the way, up and down with her eyes narrowed and lips turned down into a frown before she opened them to say, with the most velvet smooth, passive-aggressive voice Eddie had ever heard:

“Can you move?”

It wasn’t a request. It was a demand.

Eddie kinda wanted to bitch-slap her for it, but her own body betrayed her as she moved out of the way instantly and she smiled at her — almost fondly, but venomous, also all passive-aggressive and, honestly? Delicious.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

Eddie was pissed off and aroused to her deepest corners, and she would later find out that it wouldn’t be the first time Nancy Wheeler would piss her off and still have her do whatever she demanded with that silky way of hers.

Eddie didn’t see her anymore at all after that at the party, and still had no idea who she was for a whole week before she ran into Robin at the grocery store. She asked her who the girl was, describing her looks and clothes. She tried not to be too obvious about her annoyance and also attraction to the mystery girl, and she thought she succeeded because Robin didn’t shoot her one of her bombastic side eyes.

“Oh! Short curly bob, about yay high?” Robin asked, gesturing somewhere around her chin level. Eddie nodded as she turned to pick up some sugar. “Yeah, that’s Nancy.”

Eddie stopped with her hand mid-reach. “Steve’s ex, Nancy?” she asked.

“The one and only,” Robin snickered and Eddie blinked a few times in shock before proceeding with her shopping.

Eddie thought she knew a lot about the infamous Nancy Wheeler, because she had befriended Steve right after Nancy had broken his pure little himbo heart, almost eight years before. She knew Steve and Nancy had worked things out and were friendly now, but didn’t know they were friendly enough for Steve to invite her to his birthday. She shared those thoughts with Robin, who chuckled teasingly.

“Oh, sweet summer child. You have no idea of the intricacies of our friend group, do you?”

That was true. Eddie knew of Steve and Robin’s friend group from their hometown and she knew that it was a whole beautiful mess off queerness, but she hadn’t met anyone but Robin so far, even with the almost eight years of friendship with Steve — and probably only knew her because Steve and Robin were glued at the hip. She knew of Nancy, and of Jonathan, and of course, knewRobin’s girlfriend Vickie, but didn’t know what their intricacies were.

She was honestly a little scared to ask at that point, so she just shrugged and Robin and her continued their shopping talking of other stuff from then on.

She saw Nancy again a couple of months after Steve’s party, because then it was Vickie’s birthday party, and at least this time Chrissy was able to go so Eddie wouldn’t have to be stuck to Robin the whole night.

“I’m so glad I’m not missing this one. I mean, Vickie’s a great girl and of course she’s the main reason, but that Jon boy was looking delicious in the pics Steve posted and I’m so sad I missed seeing him looking like that,” she was rambling on and on about her crush as she reapplied lip gloss on the way to the bar Vickie chose to have her small party at. “Did you meet him at all?”

“No, I only saw him passing by. He did look good, smelled amazing too,” Eddie replied with a grin.

“Ugh, you’re no good as a best friend. You know I’ve been in love with him ever since Steve posted that picture last November! You had to befriend him!” she complained but she had a smile on her shiny pink lips.

“You can’t be in love with him, bitch, you don’t even know him,” Eddie replied.

“I so can, bitch. I feel it in my tits,” Chrissy ended the discussion as the Uber parked in front of the bar, and they left it laughing loudly after thanking the driver. “In my heart, I mean. Under the tits. If he’s not here today I’ll leave immediately!”

“I’ll tell the birthday girl you said that,” Eddie sing-sang as she started walking faster towards the bar entrance. Chrissy yelled after her as they walked through the doors still laughing.

To Chrissy’s delight, the Jon boy was there in all his scrawny glory where he sat across from Vickie at the table they reserved for the birthday. Vickie was excitedly talking to him about something, gesturing all around her as Robin looked at her with pathetic heart shaped eyes. Nancy, sitting beside Jonathan, was also paying attention.

No, she was not the first person Eddie noticed.

Eddie and Chrissy approached the table and Steve lit up at the sight of them from where he was sitting on the other side of Vickie.

“There they are! My favorite sapphics club is complete!” he was getting up from his seat as he talked, and Vickie wrapped up her story before getting up to greet them too.

Jonathan turned to Nancy and they whispered between them, and Eddie would’ve thought they were talking about Vickie’s story if Nancy hadn’t shot her a look from over Jonathan’s shoulder. He then looked over too and smirked before turning back to Nancy and saying something that made her hide a laugh behind her wrist.

“Why do you surround yourself with so many sapphics anyway?” Chrissy asked as she and Steve separated from their embrace, and Eddie finally tore her look away from Nancy and Jonathan to hug Vickie tightly.

“It’s the ally in me,” Steve answered and it got him a slap from his favorite sapphic who had also gotten up to greet the newcomers.

“You’re literally queer too,” Robin said as she made grabby hands at Chrissy for her own hug. Steve just cackled and shrugged.

They finished their greetings session and both Eddie and Chrissy handed Vickie their gifts — a matching set of earrings and a necklace — before walking back to the table. Aside from them, Jonathan and Nancy, there were only a couple more people that were introduced as Vickie’s work friends.

“Nice to finally get your name,” Nancy said with a smirk when Vickie introduced her to Eddie.

Eddie narrowed her eyes. “You didn’t ask for it when you were bossing me around like a bitch last time.” Eddie didn’t made clear who the bitch was. It was on purpose.

Nancy’s smile only widened with her answer as Jonathan hid a snort behind a cough.

“She tends to do that,” Steve said as he pulled a chair for Chrissy to sit at beside him.

“Excuse me?” Nancy asked, but she was still clearly being playful.

“Yeah, no, he’s right,” Jonathan said before sipping on whatever drink he had.

Nancy rolled her stupidly beautiful blue eyes. “Love when my exes team up against me.”

Eddie thankfully wasn’t drinking anything yet or she would’ve choked on liquid, and that would be worse than choking on thin air —which she did.

“What?” one of Vickie’s coworkers thankfully asked, and all of the long-time friends laughed together.

“Oh, isn’t that a long story…” Vickie giggled to her friend who just shrugged:

“We do have all night.”

Long story short, they all had had relationships in some way.

Not like Eddie or Chrissy could judge, since they both met Steve on different nights out and they both hooked up with him in the respective back alleys of the clubs they were in, and Chrissy and Robin were definitely flirting before Robin went all monogamist-serious with Vickie. And they wouldn’t judge even if it didn’t make them hypocrites because there was nothing wrong with all that anyway, but that’s an obvious statement.

But none of their things with each other had been serious or even consummated, meanwhile it was kind of funny that Nancy dated Steve and then Jonathan, and Jonathan dated Argyle who had been in the bathroom and appeared in the middle of the story, and who was now on his journey to woo Steve into a relationship, and Nancy and Robin also had a fling at some point and so did Jonathan and Steve.

Eddie felt tired at the end of the retelling and she had been sitting down the whole time.

“Ah yes, the amazing queer experience,” Vickie’s coworker who had initially asked commented at the end of it all.

They all laughed at that and the coworker — Eddie really didn’t get their name — waved a bartender over for some shots. Once they were delivered and everyone had gotten one, Coworker started a toast.

“To Vickie, and her hometown friends who all fucked each other!” they toasted, and everyone laughed louder as they clinked their tiny cups together before throwing the shots back.

Those were just the first shots of many that night, each round with a more ridiculous toast to accompany the ‘To Vickie’ one every time.

After a few hours Chrissy was best friends with Vickie’s coworkers, and Eddie still had no idea what their names were, and instead had found her way in between Jonathan and Argyle as they all talked about photography, an art they all shared their love for. Jonathan was actually a photographer himself. The talk went from classic photography, analog to digital, and just as they started talking about Instagram accounts, Chrissy stopped by, whispered something right by Jonathan’s ear that made him blush, and they left together. Eddie and Argyle traded knowing looks and continued the conversation without the person who had begun it, and soon Nancy took Jonathan’s seat instead.

“What’s the talk?” she asked while sipping her fruity cocktail that Argyle then took from her and drank before answering.

“Our favorite Instagram accounts. We were talking about photography, but…”

“Oh!” Nancy took her phone from the pocket of her dress — a dress with pockets, amazing; Eddie thought — and opened the app. “It’s not photography, but this one is my favorite of all times. It’s so inspiring to me,” she said as she found the profile she was looking for and then turned the screen for Eddie and Argyle to look at.

Eddie had a really hard time trying not to choke on thin air for the second time that evening.

The profile Nancy was showing was a poet’s page, by the name of M.W. and who posted small, handwritten poems with a beige and brown color palette, a drawn sheet ghost as their profile picture. Clearly anonymous, even with hundreds of thousands of followers, the person behind the poems and the page didn’t want people to know who they were.

The person behind the poems and the page was Eddie.

“What-” Eddie tried to talk, failed, cleared her throat and tried again, “What do you like about it?”

Nancy got this look on her face that Eddie hadn’t seen before so far. Something fond and sweet, her blue eyes like pools Eddie wanted to drown in. Her smile was wide and it turned her face to something entirely different, all the sharpness and sarcastic expressions Eddie had been graced with so far transforming into earnest softness.

“I’m a journalist, and I love writing and sharing stories. Poems have always been something I wouldn’t do, because they all seemed so hard and too complex and I always thought ‘normal’ people couldn’t do them,” she explained, looking Eddie in the eye the whole time. She was like Medusa, and Eddie was trapped paralyzed under her stare but with no intention of leaving any time soon. “And then all these modern poets came around on social media, and they have always spoken to me in some ways, but Emme…” She looked down at her phone screen again, that same soft look that made Eddie’s brain short-circuit. “I don’t know what it is, but they talk to me so personally. I love everything they write. They are delicate with words without losing their candidness, and forthright without losing their gentleness. I just… I’m very impressed and inspired by them.”

Maybe it was then.

Eddie, of course, had no idea what to answer to that. She received comments and messages every day about how her writing helped and affected people, but it had never happened in person because no one knew who she was. That was different. Nancy’s words echoed right into her chest, making it swell with pride, but she didn’t know how to respond. She just stared at the girl before her, hoping her expression wasn’t giving her away.

“That’s so nice, dude. They’re really nice poems,” Argyle said as he rolled through M’s feed. “Do you not like them, Eddie?” he asked, and Eddie shook her head to get out of her wandering thoughts before glancing at the screen Argyle was showing her.

She didn’t need to look too hard, she knew every single poem there by heart.

She shrugged. “I don’t… think too hard about poems, I guess,” she lied without thinking, already trying to come up with other topics she could suggest to stir the conversation before she admitted anything.

The only person who knew she was the one behind M.W. was Chrissy, and Eddie wasn’t ready to make it public — probably never would be. The words were too personal, open windows to her soul that she carefully curated, that she poured so much of herself into and she wasn’t ready to share the backstage of.

Eddie saw as Nancy’s eyes hardened again, as she shut her jaw firmly and she felt immediately sorry for her lie. She didn’t want Nancy to retreat, she liked seeing her vulnerable side. The side of Nancy that related to Eddie’s own vulnerability, even if she didn’t know it.

“Too bad.” And then she gave Eddie that sneering look, the same as she did from her superior level at the stairs of Steve’s house, that up-and-down look that made Eddie’s face turn into a scowl instantly.

Both their jaws clenched and they narrowed their eyes at the same time and stared at each other for what felt like hours, but was probably less than a minute, before getting up to walk to different directions, headed to different groups of other people to talk to.

“What the hell happened, man?” Argyle whispered softly to himself as he was left alone with all the tension still hanging in the air.

Eddie replayed that conversation in her head for many days after Vickie’s birthday. The gnawing feeling in the bottom of her stomach that threatened to burn her from the inside out appeared every other hour.

Why the fuck did she lie about not liking poems?

She didn’t have to tell them the truth about being M.W., but she could still have said something nice about Nancy’s passion for the poems. Not dismiss it completely, making it seem like she was a total bitch, causing Nancy to go back into her distrust, closing the doors to her vulnerability. Making Nancy think Eddie had no interest in her interests at all, like she was still holding a grudge over nothing, like they couldn’t bond over something they both loved.

The what-ifs and the should-haves kept eating at Eddie’s brain, sometimes so strongly that it was overwhelming, and she didn’t relax even a little bit about it for almost three weeks, when she met Chrissy for their monthly brunch together.

“What’s up with you today?” was the first question Chrissy asked over their mimosas, no need to be at Eddie’s side for long to realize that something was giving her anxiety.

It caused Eddie’s shoulders to slump down and her throat to get a little less constricted. Just knowing Chrissy cared enough about her to notice the small signs of her distress made some of the fog in her brain dissipate. It was easy to tell her everything after that, the scene she had caused, the disappointment in Nancy’s eyes, the way it made Eddie feel like shit. Chrissy heard it all quietly, attentively, as if Eddie’s life depended on it because she knew that Eddie felt like it did at the high of her anxiety.

“I think you like her more than you care to admit,” Chrissy answered at the end of it all.

Eddie didn’t like that Chrissy’s mind went straight into that area instead of comforting Eddie, but she rationally knew that Chrissy wouldn’t bring that up if it wasn’t relevant.

“Chris, I don’t even know her-”

Chrissy interrupted. “And I think you should be honest with her.”

“I can’t tell her-”

She did it again. “I’m not telling you to come out to her as Emme, I’m only saying you could honestly tell her she makes you kinda nervous and you stumbled over your words near her, and you said things you didn’t mean because you couldn’t think through.”

“Can you stop interrupting me!” Eddie whined. “Oh, so I just have to make a fool of myself in front of her? Solid advice, Chris, thanks.”

“Why’d you ask for my help if you’re gonna complain about what I say?” She asked, swirling her cup around.

“I didn’t ask for your help, Chrissy!” Eddie all but shouted, her voice a raspy tone, and Chrissy stopped mid-movement. Eddie instantly regretted it. “Sorry. I’m so sorry. Ugh, I’m so stressed out over nothing.”

She hid her face behind her hand, embarrassment making her cheeks burn up, but she soon felt Chrissy’s cool hand on top of her own. It was soothing once again.

“Sorry I pushed too. It’s not nothing, Eddie, I swear. I still think you can be a little more honest with her if you ever see her again, though,” Chrissy still advised.

“Maybe you’re right. I’ll think about it,” Eddie answered.

“And I still think you like Nancy more than you want to admit,” Chrissy continued.

Eddie let her hands fall from her face and stared into Chrissy’s blue pools. They reminded her of other blue pools.

Nancy’s pool blue eyes hardening over Eddie’s words, the way her jaw shut tight, the clinical look she shot at her. Nancy’s pool blue eyes softening over talking about Eddie’s words, the blush on her cheeks, the adoring speech she gave about Eddie’s soul without even knowing.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right about that too,” Eddie finally admitted.

Maybe it was then.

Summer was approaching and as the temperatures started to rise Steve hyped them all up for a lake day. Eddie took Chrissy, Robin, Vickie and Jonathan in her van; and Steve, Argyle and Nancy went in his car. They all brought snacks and smuggled drinks amongst card games and inflatable buoys.

The lake wasn’t packed because summer vacations still hadn’t started and the middle schoolers, high schoolers and college students still weren’t free to enjoy the scalding Sun and the cold water, so Steve’s idea was great after all.

Eddie waited until the Sun wasn’t at its peak to venture under its rays, because she was as pale as a vampire and the Sun was a menace to her just the same as it was to the blood-sucking monsters. She’d burn instantly. So she covered herself in sunblock, hid under the shadow of a big tree with one of Wayne’s old caps on her head and a book in her hands, and watched as her group of people had their fun.

Steve and Chrissy were playing with a volleyball in the sand, while Argyle and Vickie went against Jonathan and Robin in a game of chicken in the water with Nancy as the referee. Eddie had fun people-watching, and when it came to some of her new favorite people it was even better.

As midday approached, they all gathered under the barely-there shadow to eat their snacks and escape the dangerous Sun beams at their high. Argyle had some pre-baked space brownies for dessert and they all shared stories and laughed about nonsense. Eddie felt happy that she and Chrissy were finally being more included into the lives of Steve and Robin, and that their friends came along. It felt like they had always belonged there, as a full group. It was amazing.

When both the Sun and Eddie weren’t as high anymore, she finally felt safe enough to take off her shirt and cap. With another sunscreen layer applied, she stretched a bit before asking Chrissy to join her at the shallow ends of the lake. The pebbles hurt her feet in a good way and the smell of damp earth was refreshing.

“How’s it going?” Chrissy asked.

Eddie looked at her and saw that she was staring ahead. She followed the line of vision and saw Nancy taking a few laps in the deeper parts of the water. She instantly knew what Chrissy was asking.

“I might have been stalking too much on Instagram,” she answered, and Chrissy cackled.

“Does she follow you?”

“Uh, no. Her profile’s open,” she finished and Chrissy almost choked on her laughter.

Eddie tried to hide her smile, but Chrissy’s snorts were endearing even if they were at her expense.

“What are we laughing so hard about?” The subject of the conversation appeared out of nowhere, Robin and Vickie behind her as they approached.

Chrissy laughed harder.

“Uh, just this dude. You guys don’t know him.” Eddie tried to act casual, but Nancy’s raised eyebrow showed she wasn’t buying. Thankfully, she also didn’t press further. “Uh. Nice bikini,” she pointed at Nancy’s torso, immediately regretting it.

Nancy looked down, as if she didn’t remember what she was wearing. There was nothing special about it, just a different color in each of the little triangles covering Nancy’s breasts, but now all the attention was in it, on them, and Eddie felt like a complete fool. If she wanted Nancy not to know about her stupid not-crush, talking about her fucking boobs wasn’t the best course of action.

“Thanks?” she said, kind of asked, as her answer to Eddie’s random compliment. “Yours is pretty too.” She smiled sweetly, and Eddie was a hundred percent sure she didn’t deserve that kindness.

“Not just the bikini,” Vickie whispered a little too loud, causing Chrissy to fall into her laughing fit again. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. That was so out of pocket.” Her freckled face was all red, and Robin was hiding a grin under her hand, and Nancy was suddenly looking at the water, brows pinched, pink cheeks, perched lips.

Interesting, Eddie thought.

“Ah, don’t be,” she answered Vickie. “I paid a hell of a price for them, they’re supposed to be admired.”

“Wait until you’re at a level three friendship clearance and you’ll get to see them uncovered. Maybe even touch,” Chrissy said, still in between chuckles.

“Well, yeah, I want to show them off!” Eddie spoke up.

Nancy coughed loudly. “I’ll go back to the-” she stopped herself and never finished her sentence before practically running back to the water, her body curving in a beautiful dive once she was deep enough.

Eddie felt glad she was still wearing her shorts, cause the tightness in them could get a little uncomfortable.

“You guys are funny,” Robin said, arm draped over Vickie’s shoulder, and her pointed look at Eddie’s profile seemed to mean something more.

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked.

Robin chuckled a little louder. “You and Nancy would get along real well if you stopped dancing around each other,” she answered.

Eddie bit the inside of her cheek before turning to look at the lake again. Nancy wasn’t doing laps anymore, instead she was talking to the boys. As if she felt Eddie’s eyes on her, she also turned to look back to the shore, and her gaze met Eddie’s.

She smiled so sweetly. As if Eddie had never insulted her, as if her vulnerability had never been hidden, she smiled the same way Eddie saw her smile when she talked about M.W’s words.

Maybe it was then.

“Still don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eddie lied, without ending her eye contact with the girl on the water, and her senses were so focused on only her that she didn’t even hear Robin and Chrissy’s snickering.

She really had to stop dancing.

Chrissy went to Eddie’s house and ruined her life on a simple Friday.

“You’re being so dramatic,” Chrissy said while Eddie paced around her living room, fingers tangled in her hair, and her phone still in Chrissy’s hand.

Eddie knew it had been a horrible idea to download Tinder to get over her not-crush on Nancy, and she knew it had been a horrible idea to tell Chrissy about it — but she went ahead and did both of those things anyway.

It started harmless enough, Eddie and Chrissy sat side by side, a bottle of wine shared with no need for glasses, a random movie on the TV as background noise. Chrissy giving her input on Eddie’s bio, her picture choices, the people she swapped right or left.

It started harmless enough, until Nancy’s profile showed up.

Only a few miles away, a stunning profile picture that made Eddie’s heart almost crack her ribcage, a bio that Eddie couldn’t even read entirely because suddenly her phone wasn’t in her hands anymore, and Chrissy was locking herself in the bathroom.

No amount of Eddie’s banging on the door made her get out, not until she felt like her mission was complete, not until after she swiped right on Nancy.

And then Eddie was spiraling, pacing around her living room while Chrissy finished whatever wine was left in the bottle, the movie had ended on the TV and Tinder was left open and forgotten on Eddie’s phone.

“You acted like a bitch and you know it,” Eddie said, and Chrissy only huffed. “Christine!”

“Calm down, I’ve told you already! It’s not like-” she paused mid sentence when the phone screen lit up. Chrissy’s eyes grew comically larger, and she bit her bottom lip tightly, the skin under her teeth going pale. “So, about that-”

“Christine!” Eddie yelled again, throwing herself on the couch and aiming for the phone already. “Please, for the love of god and all that is holy, please tell me she didn’t just-”

“You have a match,” Chrissy confirmed Eddie’s worst nightmares.

“FUCKING HELL!”

It was undeniable, right at the center of the screen, big bold letters in a way that Eddie couldn’t blame on drunkenness because she hadn’t even drank that much. She had a match with Nancy Wheeler.

“Why is that a bad thing? You have a crush on her anyway, you just learned it’s reciprocated?” Chrissy asked, already getting up to fetch another wine bottle.

“What if it’s a joke. What if she swiped in the wrong direction as an accident. What if she sat on her phone and butt-matched me. What-”

“Eddie, stop spiraling,” Chrissy told her, a new wine bottle in her hands that she passed to Eddie in exchange for the phone again. “We’ll keep watching whatever movie this is,” she checked the TV, saw the movie was over, “We’ll watch whatever other random movie and get your head out of this and tomorrow you’ll wake up renewed and look at this situation with fresh eyes and see it’s not that bad. Okay?”

“You just don’t want me to yell at you ‘cause you know it’s your fault,” Eddie grumbled.

“I won’t lie to you, my best friend, that is partly the reason.” Chrissy chose another random movie without really checking what it was. “But I also really don’t think it’s such a big deal.”

“Whatever,” Eddie whined again, but draped her head on Chrissy’s shoulder when she sat beside her.

She was warm, and smelled of berries and coconut, and she had Eddie’s phone so she couldn’t do anything stupid, and she usually knew better. She was probably right. Eddie let herself be comforted in the presence of Chrissy’s calming aura.

Eddie ended the night having no idea what the movie was about, her mental state a little over tipsy and a little under drunk, her phone back in her hands and the Tinder conversation with Nancy Wheeler opened.

She came to learn a lot in between one and six A.M., the time she spent talking to Nancy while Chrissy still snored beside her.

Nancy had a younger brother and a younger sister.

She loved ballet.

Her favorite singer was Madonna.

Her parents were divorced, and the day they told her the news was one of the best days of her life.

Some of her hobbies included journaling, roller skating, and painting her nails.

Her best friend was named Barb, and she was studying abroad for her PhD.

She legally owned a gun. That was terrifying. (And also a little hot.)

She had never used it, though. But felt safe having it.

She was power driven, passion driven, a force to be reckoned with, and kind and sweet while doing it all.

Maybe it was then.

Neither of them acknowledged the fact that they both had been assholes to each other, and just accepted the Tinder match as if it had been nothing more. Nancy had started the conversation as if they had already texted before, and Eddie just rolled with it.

They talked all night, and Eddie could’ve kept talking to her if she hadn’t passed out from sleep deprivation and alcohol consumption.

She only noticed the next afternoon, when she woke up, that she tried telling Nancy she was M.W. at the peak of her insanity, but thankfully had never sent the message.

She deleted it and said nothing else instead.

Eddie saw Nancy sooner than she expected — and, honestly, sooner than she was ready to.

She and Nancy hadn’t talked after that day, not at all, not on Tinder and not on Instagram after they followed each other. Nancy liked a couple of Eddie’s pictures and stories, and Eddie liked some of her stuff back, but that was it.

She thought it had dwindled out, she was too much of a coward to pull Nancy back to a conversation and thought Nancy had no interest when she also made no move to message Eddie again.

Eddie was nursing a minor heartache when she asked Chrissy to go with her to a party one of her neighbors invited her to merely a week later. It was at the rooftop of another building, fairy lights still turned off during the day but they would look beautiful by night, the Sun was warm and they had punch, so Eddie thought it to be the perfect place and opportunity to get her mind off of Nancy Wheeler.

Imagine her surprise to see Nancy Wheeler there?

Chrissy spotted her immediately, elbowing Eddie until she noticed too. She looked beautiful under the sun, all sparkly makeup and flowy dress and pulled-up hair. And Chrissy gave Eddie no time to think or react before pulling her by the hand straight into Nancy’s direction where she was talking to a short-haired girl.

“Christine, stop, what if they’re-”

“Nancy! Hi!” Chrissy didn’t let Eddie pour out her negative thoughts, and instead called to the source of all of Eddie’s most recent problems.

“Chrissy!” she smiled, oh so pretty. “And Eddie!”

Eddie didn’t want to get all delusional, but she felt like Nancy’s smile to her was wider than the one to Chrissy.

Chrissy hugged her, and soon came Eddie’s turn, and if she put a little more strength into her arms, and if she made it last just a second longer, and if she carefully sniffed Nancy’s hair — well, that’s her problem.

“So nice to see you two. This is Barb!” She looked at Eddie as she said it, maybe to see if Eddie remembered that conversation, and Eddie could never lose that opportunity.

She took a deep breath, inhaled some courage from the air, turned to Barb and said, “Heard only the greatest things about you.”

Barb smiled, and so did Nancy, and maybe, yeah, maybe Eddie was a little delusional and maybe she was a little biased but Nancy’s smile was wider and prettier and more important.

She touched Eddie’s arm after she hugged Barb, and she looked Eddie right in the eyes and there was something there — some gratitude, some recognition, Eddie wasn’t sure what it was, but it was there.

And maybe it was then.

“So… what about that poem page? Still digging it?” Eddie asked hours later, when Chrissy was hooking up with a stranger in the bathroom and Barb had gone home already.

Nancy turned to pay attention to her immediately. They were leaning against the rooftop’s half-walls, Eddie’s jean jacket over Nancy’s naked shoulders cause there was a funny cold little breeze.

“Yeah, of course,” Nancy answered. Her eyes were sparkling, and the sun was setting, and the fairy lights were on.

She looked breath-taking.

“Still your favorite?” Eddie asked again, just because she needed to have that little pinch of Nancy Wheeler’s approval, even if Nancy had no idea.

“Still my favorite,” Nancy answered again, her eyes narrowing but smile widening a bit. “You still hate poetry?” she asked instead, and the slight twitch in the corner of her mouth was the only hint that she wasn’t as serious, that she was just teasing.

“I don’t hate poetry,” Eddie said with an accompanying eye roll and a small smile of her own. “I actually envy them. I wish I could say stuff that makes you feel… the way you feel. Instead of constantly annoying you.”

She kept a smirk as she said it, but it was a deeply honest confession. Of course, it was her words making Nancy feel the way she felt. But Nancy didn’t know that, and if she didn’t know that, did it really count?

Nancy’s expression softened as Eddie said it, those blue pools opening up for her again. Eddie felt like she would never get tired of it.

“You don’t constantly annoy me, just sometimes… most of the time,” she teased and nothing about her face said sarcasm and Eddie smiled wide back at her.

Nancy’s hand found Eddie’s, her fingers small and delicate and they fit right in between Eddie’s fingers, and it felt like it was meant to be, like the perfect puzzle pieces. There was music somewhere around them, lots of chatter from all the other people, but it all felt so distant as Nancy held Eddie’s hand so tight it almost hurt but it didn’t because it was her.

Maybe it was then.

Eddie wasn’t sure when she fell for Nancy Wheeler, but she knew for sure that’s when their story really started.

SHE DOESN’T KNOW AS WELL

Six months later

“I knew it already,” she said.

Her hair was a bit longer by then, curling around her head like an aura and getting all knotted up right with Eddie’s hair as they laid side by side in bed. The air smelt like sex, like them, and the streets outside the window were quiet in the middle of the night.

“The fuck you did,” Eddie answered.

“I’m an investigative journalist, Eddie, of course I knew you were Emme like, two weeks after we started dating.”

“Shut the fuck up,” she said, and Nancy snorted. She knew Eddie wasn’t actually mad. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Nancy instantly sobered up. “Cause it’s important to you. I wanted you to tell me, whenever you were ready. That’s your soul, Ed.”

It definitely wasn’t then, it had been long ago.

But it was then that Eddie confessed it, out loud, almost screaming in a whisper:

“I love you.”

Nancy smiled, her blue eyes two huge pools of vulnerability, that sweetness that poured out of her like honey.

“I don’t know when this happened. But. I love you too, of course.”

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