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damn-stark · 4 months

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Chapter 42 IFHY

Chapter 42 of Sugar

A/N- This mc is one of the most human mcs I’ve written in my opinion and I will miss writing her and her technique so much when this series comes to an end!

Warning- Swearing, ANGST!!!, talks of death, VIOLENCE, SPOILERS!!!!

Pairing- Choso x Gojo!fem-reader, Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader

Episode and or chapters- Chapter 260-261

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

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There he is, in all his glory. Standing right across from you. The brother you thought you lost…your hope revived, your joy, and your cure to your solace.

How is it possible that he’s alive after being sliced in half?

Then again, he is Satoru Gojo and Shoko probably had something to do with it too.

Not that it matters now, he’s alive just as you thought you lost everything.

“Satoru,” you whisper breathlessly and step forward with a wobbly growing smile.

Said man draws out a deep breath and stays quiet. He stays where he is and doesn’t greet you with something smug. Which is odd, but considering he was dead his lack of witty comments is not concerning.

However, as you get closer to him he shuffles back and finally begins to lift his head. You watch his face the entire time and notice a rather unusual displeased frown. You want to comment on it and assure him that it’s all fine, but you then notice something trailing on his forehead, something particular that you’ve only seen on one other person.

But it can’t be…

Yet it’s believable. He survived so long for a reason—But it can’t be Kenjaku can it? It can’t be him taking over your brother's body, you killed him with your own hands. It can’t…

But it is.

“No,” you mumble in horror and come to an immediate halt. “No,” you repeat with a flicker of change in your tone.

The man pretending to be your brother doesn’t show smugness, not like when he pretended to be Suguru, he seems rather uncomfortable and still displeased.

“No,” you cry out and step back, making the pretender step forward with his arms out.

“It’s not Kenjaku,” he says in his voice, in that soft yet deep and stupid smug voice Satoru had.

“It’s,” he pauses and glances over at Shoko, but you don’t follow his line of gaze, your eyes stay glued on him as you prepare an attack.

“It’s Yuta…Okkotsu…” he trails off, and you only become more horrified. Perhaps even more so than when you thought it was Kenjaku in that split second because it can’t be the same boy that killed Suguru, it can’t be him who took your brother too, who is using him the same way Kenjaku used Suguru.

It can’t be the boy who Satoru saved from a death sentence. It can't be the boy Miguel vouched for or the boy you forgave. It can’t be him…

“I wish I could explain,” he keeps talking in a stolen voice he somehow manipulated to sound like his own awkward one. “I wish you didn’t have to find out this way. I’m sorry.”

He’s sorry? Sorry?

And that’s all he has to say to explain this madness, this…robbery. A crime, a betrayal of the highest offense before he just waltzs off without even meeting your eye?

Why? Why? Why? Why?

You keep asking yourself why him once again. You look to Shoko for the answer, but her attention is on Choso’s body getting picked up by the people helping her, so she misses your cry for help, therefore missing the window she had to talk you down and try and comfort you.

Choso wouldn’t have missed that window, he would’ve clocked your growing anger, and your soul shattering even more at the knowledge that Okkotsu is using your brother's body as if he were some weapon to be picked up and used at his convenience.

Choso would’ve been surprised too at the sight of those stitches but when everything was explained he would’ve heard your silent cry for help, he would’ve stopped your grief from twisting to rage. But he’s not here, and Shoko didn’t catch that window, Kirara was beside you, but they couldn’t read you so deeply, so that grief so obviously painted on every perimeter of your face and body, and every inch of your soul gets tainted by this display of monstrosity and betrayal that only you saw because he had already taken the man you loved last year.

Yuta Okkotsu is the reason Suguru Geto is dead. And now he’s taken your beloved brother only a year later, and all he has to say is sorry…but he didn’t even meet your eyes either, he stood stiffly in that same spot before walking away as if nothing was wrong.

Why is no one reacting? Why is no one as livid as you?

Why? Why? Why?!

You…should've killed him a long time ago. Why did you ever forgive Okkotsu? Why is he using your brother's body the same way Kenjaku used Suguru? Why is this happening again?

Why?!

Why is he getting away? You can’t let him get away, you can’t let him take someone else you love. Satoru was your brother and if no one else will do anything about it, you will.

You will!

So with nothing else in your mind but livid anger, you slowly turn with your hand curling into a fist. You summon fire to start this attack, but as you try to bask your fist with your reliable flames all you get is a spark which has never happened before—well not since you first started training…

Yet, you don’t think too deeply about your complications, instead, you act quickly and dig in your pocket. Your Worm cursed spirit balled up inside doesn’t fail to hand you the blade you wanted, a blade that Shoko doesn’t see since she's lost in her own thoughts, and Kirara doesn’t get to notice because your back is turned, leaving you an opening, letting you dig your heels on the ground before you charge at Okkotsu from behind.

The pretender doesn’t expect you to charge at him so he doesn’t watch his back. He doesn’t even hear you coming right away. Everything is happening fast to everyone else, but for you time moves slowly.

You have time to clench your jaw and twist your face into a wicked sneer. You have time to get near him before you blurt out a broken cry from so deep inside your chest that it hurts your lungs and brings streams of tears to your eyes.

And in your unexpected fit of rage, you actually manage to swing your blade and slash the pretenders back before he spins around and jumps back to dodge your next swing.

“I’m gonna kill you,” you snap at Okkotsu and this time you pretend to swing your blade. Okkotsu swings to the other side to miss being cut, but he steps right into your line of fire so you manage to swing your fist and land a hard jab across his face.

Shoko shouts your name and tells you to stop, but you kick your leg and hurl the pretender back.

“I won’t,” Okkotsu mutters with new blood trickling down his nose and his busted lip. “I won't fight you out of respect for him. He loved you.”

He…loved…you, but now he’s gone too…

And Okkotsu has the audacity to say that so casually while being in his body.

“I hate you,” you snarl and lunge at him again, this time you manage to throw your arms around his waist and tackle him to the ground.

Kirara tries to stop you, but you grab onto the pretender's shoulders and roll your bodies out of reach, and quickly try to make quick work of him before you’re eventually stopped. Even if he doesn’t try to stop you, you slam your fists across his face again and again until he’s bleeding from one eye, and his nose is crooked.

You pull your arm back to swing again, but as Okkotsu watches you with your brother's bright blue eyes that had been so unique, you suddenly halt in your attack and meet his gaze with a sense of guilt.

You see your brother, the only brother you had. The brother who would let you sneak into his bed when you were little kids because you were terrified. You see Satoru Gojo, your daughter's Uncle, your best friend, and the brother who loved you regardless of all you did. You see him and you have the sudden need to stop this foolishness.

But…that ever so heavy grief stabs you in the heart as a flash of him smiling at you like everything was great in the world passes through your mind, and you can’t help but grow rabid almost as if it had been a switch.

“You motherfucker!” You bellow at him as you pick up your blade from the ground and swing up. “You’re going to fucking die!” You cry out of agony and rage and don’t hesitate a moment longer before swinging down.

Satoru once hesitated last year when you fought. He had you pinned and he was going to make a finishing move, but he hesitated. You don’t. You bring the blade down.

Albeit just as the tip nears the pretender’s forehead, a force manages to grab your wrists, stopping you just in time.

“Stop,” you recognize that deep voice.

“Yuta!” You hear a young woman yell.

“Stop it,” the voice beside you whispers sharply.

Choso?

You look over and expect your husband, but you actually see Miguel.

“He has a job to do,” he tries to get it through your head so you’d cooperate, but betrayal blares throughout your head.

“You knew?” You ask, almost frightened.

Miguel scoffs. “No, of course not. I pieced it together just now and even I know you can’t kill him.”

You look back down at Okkotsu in your brother's body and shake your head. “But he’s my brother.” You whisper heartbrokenly.

“And what Okkotsu has to do is much more important than that, don’t you see it? This is not like Kenjaku and Suguru. Focus.”

Strong heart Choso would say.

But you can’t. Not when he’s gone too.

However, Maki walks over and pulls the pretender out from under you so you won't snap again and actually finish the job this time.

“Go,” you hear her tell him. “Who knows how much time you have left now.”

“But…” your whisper quivers, “he’s my brother.”

“Yes, he was,” Miguel corrects you between trying to sound comforting yet affirmative.

Not like it actually eases anything. You don’t continue on your rampage, you just sit there brokenheartedly and watch Okkotsu take away your brother's body with him into the disaster Sukuna made with nothing but his raw power.

It almost feels like your brother is leaving you behind all over again. You’re watching him walk away and it feels like that day 11 years ago when he left you behind. You feel that same ache. You know it’s not the same, not at all, but in the back of your mind it feels like the same thing.

“Get up,” Miguel says a lot kinder than before as he takes the blade away and pulls you to your feet, which would make this the second time someone has helped you up as if you were some wounded animal. You really hate it, it makes you feel so weak, but you also can’t help it, you can’t muster that much strength, not anymore.

“We could both use some rest now,” you hear someone else interject, and when you look over you notice Larue. He’s wounded but alive.

“You’re okay,” you point out with a sense of relief.

Larue narrows his eyes and his eyebrows slowly knit together before he releases a disbelieved gasp.

“Bring her with me,” Shoko interrupts before you can press Larue for an answer about his sudden confusion and then ask if what you asked for worked.

When you look over at Shoko, however, that anger returns. It’s not violent like the anger you had for Okkotsu. it’s livid yes, and blinding too, but filled with nothing else but betrayal.

She doesn’t see it though, she doesn’t hear it in your voice or in the way your body stiffens and stays in place rather than trailing after her.

“Get Choso’s body,” you tell Miguel, who doesn’t fret to follow after the man carrying your husband's body, causing Shoko to stop in her tracks and turn around to face you. However, the moment she does turn you avert her gaze and watch Miguel gently take Choso from the hand of strangers.

“Will we finally leave, I admit perhaps I made a grave mistake by coming,” Larue interjects with exhaustion weighing his voice down.

“Almost,” you assure him, making Shoko probe.

“What do you mean?”

You ignore her and begin to turn, but she strides over in a hurry and grabs your arm to stop you and turn you around to grab your chin and pick your head up, and look into your eyes.

You don’t understand what she’s doing nor do you care to, so you quickly pull yourself away and step back with your face twisting in anger. Shoko doesn’t understand your sudden precaution, she actually finds it hurtful as well as worrying that you were so quick to pull away though.

“Are you okay?” She checks on you, but you let her words be carried away. You have things to say, but you can’t or want to entertain her any longer. It’s petty, you know, you tend to just give people the cold shoulder when they’ve deeply wounded you, but you just can’t help it, or be the better person, your words just get stuck in your heart. And since you no longer feel like you have such a thing, the words fall into the abyss, leaving you silent and angry.

Shoko is quick to grasp what’s happening, she doesn’t know why, but she’s starting to pick up on your silent treatment and that anger embedded in your deep and long frown, as well as your fisted hands. Thus she calls out for you loudly and demandingly.

And this time you react by slowly lifting your head and meeting her worried and puzzled gaze, letting her see once and for all what she suspected in full glory, the eyes of the woman you used to be, the eyes that Satoru claimed were where he found his home. They aren’t infused with flames, not anymore, they’re the eyes you were born with, the eyes Shoko met for the first time when you started school. Only now your eyes are a strangers for a third time.

Albeit this time she won’t let you be estranged.

“I’m sorry,” Shoko finally says out loud as she starts to grasp what’s going on with you. “It hurts, I know, but you can’t walk away. I won’t let you walk away, not again.”

Her words sting. They feel like getting stabbed and or being robbed of breath. But it doesn't stop those words that you had lost find their way back.

“What do you know about my hurt?” You snap back with your eyes narrowing and your brows pinching together. “What do you know about anything I feel? Did you even try to stop them? He was your best friend.”

Shoko’s breath catches but she doesn’t falter, even if her watery eyes say otherwise. “Humanity relies on certain sacrifices. He knew that…Satoru knew that…”

You gasp as if his name coming out of her mouth physically hurt you.

“…that’s why he let it happen.”

You swallow thickly and understand what she says, it sounds like something he would do, but you can’t accept it. Not because you don’t want to believe it, but because you’re angry she didn’t stop him.

“He would do something stupid like that,” you feign a laugh and sniffle. “But that’s when you stop him. That’s when you fight him. Did you even try? Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask with a quivering voice.

Shoko steps forward and doesn’t hide to spare you. “Because he knew how you would react.”

You process her words and think about how considerate your brother was. He never failed to think about you.

Why did you realize that so late into your life?

“Because he knew I would stop him from doing something stupid,” you argue. “This was stupid. He never lived his life, he never actually thought about what he wanted, he always thought about everyone else. It’s why I would’ve stopped him because it’s stupid!”

“And what you’re doing now isn’t stupid?” Shoko quickly counters, making you clench your jaw and exhale deeply with frustration. “People still need you.”

“It’s not the same,” you defend your actions. “You know that, so don’t throw it at my face like it is.”

Shoko sighs deeply and takes another step closer to you, which doesn’t make you move back. You stay put and hold her tear-filled gaze.

“You should’ve stopped him,” you leave no room for her to interject. “You should’ve stopped them from using his body like some kind of tool the same way Suguru’s was. And you shouldn’t have lied to me about why you needed Kenjaku’s brain.”

“You would have understood?” She quickly spats.

You stay calm and shrug. “Kenjaku was Choso’s father, it was for him to decide, not me. And I’m sure he would’ve given it up if you asked. Instead, you lied about it and about Satoru.”

Shoko parts her lips to argue back, but she instead drops her gaze and swallows back nervously. “Okkotsu needed Suguru’s body too,” she throws out rapidly and shakily.

And now for you, it gets hard to breathe. You can’t breathe. Your chest is too heavy.

Suguru was yours. Yours and Satori’s. You just got him back from the clutches of some insane sorcerer. He could finally rest and she…they…

Breathe…

Breathe.

“I’m sorry,” is all Shoko says.

You still can’t breathe. It hurts too much.

Shoko sees that and grabs your shoulder to try and soothe your growing panic.

“Just—”

You cut her off by slapping her hand away and taking a big step back while you look at her as if she had just literally stabbed you in the back. You then point an accusing finger at her, but nothing comes out, you’re crippled with betrayal.

After a second of you and her just growing tension, a shaky breath finally makes it past your lips but words don’t follow. They’re lost for good this time. Shoko calls out to you in an attempt to hear from you, to continue this argument so she could try and mend what she could so you wouldn’t leave, but it’s too late and the wrong choices were made. Choices for the good of humanity perhaps, but you don’t see it that way in your agonizing grief.

You see blaring betrayal and your silence loudly displays it as well as the tears that crawl down your cheeks.

“Kirara,” you direct at the only person you can speak to, someone you don’t blame because they’re young, and they don’t carry that same history with Satoru or Suguru. Perhaps they accepted snatching Satoru’s body, but it’s not the same as Shoko accepting it. Not in your eyes.

“If you need help, call me, I won’t be far. I’ll be watching over Kinji from the broadcast,” you let them know as you step back.

“Where are you going?” They quickly blurt in confusion. “You can't go.”

You sigh and just hold their gaze. “I’ll be close to Yuji. Or as close as I can be.” You assure them and then spare one last glance at Shoko, catching tears rolling down her cheeks and a deep grief that mirrors yours. But you can’t look past your own pain to care. You just let your gaze linger as you ache for things to be different for the sake of your friendship and the love you bear for her, but you can’t…no matter how hard you try, you can’t look past her letting them use Satoru, and taking Suguru’s body from you.

Even if it isn’t her fault, or if it is, you don’t care. You just turn away and leave her behind the same way Suguru did, and the same way Satoru did.

You almost find yourself leaving it all behind and just giving up on everything, it’s what they deserve after dehumanizing Satoru the way they did. And you don’t care if it’s for the greater good, who cares if somehow you would have understood in a different life, you don’t care. Just like you don’t care about trying to understand Shoko. They took something from you, they hurt you, and you can’t look past it, you aren’t that big of a person because he was your brother, and no matter what happened he was always there. Now he won’t, now they’ve taken him, just like they took Suguru.

However, as much as you want to leave, as much as you hate humanity as a whole now, people you still care about are out fighting with their lives. They’re the only reason why you stay behind.

You won’t fight anymore, you’ll just look out for them away from Shoko, and from the depths of your solitude that drowns out the concept of time, the conversation Larue and Miguel hold, and the calamity of battle in the far distance.

Even surrounded by people that loneliness that you so feared still plagues you, how funny is that?

Nevertheless, you don’t break from your trance until Miguel taps your leg. He notices your lack of know-how and sighs before probing, “what did you do?”

There’s no need to ask what he's referring to because you know from the silence of the wind, the coldness that outran the heat that once ran through your veins as if it was blood, the unwelcoming earth that doesn’t eagerly speak to you, and the ignoring water that up and left you from ever feeling its delicate touch, that he’s referring to the binding vow that has yet to prove it worked.

Binding vows aren’t known to fail, but this binding vow is different, you’re exchanging powers for life. It’s different therefore there’s a high chance all you get is played.

“I can still see curses,” you don’t give Miguel the answers he seeks. “I’m not a non-sorcerer.”

“No, but you’re basically nothing now,” he hits you with the truth, something that Larue quickly rebuttals in your defense.

“She’s not nothing, you’re just being cruel—”

“I’m being honest,” Miguel cuts Larue off. “She’s useless in this fight now. What you did was stupid.”

You blink and try to look over at Choso, but you can’t bring yourself to look at him. You haven’t been able to look at him because if it doesn’t work all you gave up will be for nothing and you’ll end up just repaying for all the evil you’ve done.

“You don’t know what I did,” you retort and slide your eyes up to pierce your annoyed glare at him.

Miguel sighs and glances at the man you left behind you before looking back at you. “I have an idea,” he assumes right. “Giving everything you are for something that has never been done before is stupid. What will you do now?”

You drift your gaze to your hands and mutter. “Nothing. I won’t do anything. Even if I had my technique I wouldn't do anything because I don't care about them anymore. Humanity can die for all I care.”

Larue watches you with pity after knowing how much you deeply cared about the sorcerer side of humanity. He almost doesn’t recognize who you are, but just like Shoko, he knows this is you grieving. You’re at your worst and all the people who could’ve pulled you out of it are gone. You’re alone and he knows it’s drowning you.

Larue almost wants to try and comfort you even if he knows it’d be a useless endeavor, but Miguel pushes off his attempts.

“Why didn’t you ever do it for Suguru then, what you did now for this man?” Miguel asks.

You’ve thought about that too during your time on this roof, and the answer is simple, you had your brother so you weren’t writhing in your loneliness like you are now. You love them both the same way, you just…had…Satoru. Now you don’t.

“Satoru was here. The twins. Nanami. Now I don’t have anyone…” you trail off and fist your hands so hard your nails pierce a layer of skin. Yet it doesn’t hurt like you thought it would, no matter how hard you keep pressing, or if blood spills.

“You have us,” Larue breaks the silence and pulls your eyes away from the blood you spill. You offer him a smile but it’s far too short-lived.

“I’m going to kill Okkotsu,” you blurt with more emotion than you’ve shown over the past several minutes. “And neither of you are going to stop me.”

Both Miguel and Larue look at you with surprise, even if what you want is like you, the way you say it so bluntly and carrying so much pain catches them off guard for a moment until Miguel steps towards your sitting figure and argues back with frustration.

“You’ll doom humanity if you do…” he trails off and you don't care to follow up with what catches his breath, you don’t look at him right away either, but when you do you snap your eyes up and glare at him with a fuming anger that blinds you.

“I told you I don’t care about humanity,” you spat back and don’t get curious about what he and Larue are suddenly lost on. It isn’t until you hear your name being uttered by a familiar voice that your attention is fully captivated, and there in the barren cold relives a warmth you thought was forever lost.

However, you don’t look back right away, you’re too scared it’s your mind tricking you. After all, you've seen an illusion of Suguru before, and as beautiful as it was, it was only an illusion. You don’t want to be let down again. Thus you let him call out to you again to assure yourself that you heard that deep but gentle melody of his voice before you slowly turn with your eyes downcasted but widened and filled with tears.

A part of the spot you left him on was now empty and lacked a part of his body, and there’s no way a dead man could move by himself. But you still don’t face him because now you’re plagued with the thought of what if he’s somehow still dead and your vow was somehow twisted.

You can feel the shocked stares from Larue and Miguel, they fill the silence with disbelief and impatience for you to react, while…Choso…waits, but also finds himself trying to grasp how he’s back and how his heart is beating once again.

“Is it really you?” You have to ask for your own sake.

You hear shuffling before your breath catches at the sound of his voice. “I think. I’m not sure…one thing I do know is that I’m naked under this sheet.”

You muster a breathless laugh while fat tears run down your cheeks and the shattered heart inside you mends together.

“You…” you trail off and he fills your silence.

“Burnt….I remember. I remember it all. I remember you,” he pauses and sighs. You’re tempted to look but you still can’t.

“I’m sorry,” he brings up softly and filled with sorrow that makes your chest tighten. “I’m sorry. I did the one thing I said I wasn’t going to do. I’m sorry.”

You swallow back thickly and sigh deeply. “Then you understand why I can’t bring myself to go over to you, why I can’t look at you? I don’t want this to be a dream and be hurt all over again.”

“I understand,” he assures you right away before you hear him shifting against the roof in the distance.

“We’ll…be back,” Larue excuses himself and Miguel before they climb down, leaving you and Choso alone under the white sky, and occupying the silence with the sound of his unique footsteps approaching you.

“I would understand if you’re mad at me too,” he says and makes your heart ache in a good way because, of course, he would say something so sweet.

“…I really hurt you. And even if I was dying I hated myself for it because as good of a goodbye I had with Yuji, yours was agonizing,” he continues softly as he stops before you and gets on his knees that are covered by the sheet Larue had put over his body. “I’m sorry, my love. I didn’t want to leave you, I really didn’t. I meant what I told you, I just had no other choice and it proved to be worthwhile, you’re here!” He exclaims proudly as you see his large and pale hand reach over for yours clawing the ground.

“You’re alive, and…” he trails off for a long while. He even stops in his attempts to grab your hand, and honestly, his stillness tempts you to finally lay your eyes on his body, but you keep your eyes glued on the ground since your mind is still protecting you from potentially being disappointed.

“…you’re not hurt,” he mutters with a sense of disbelief that he doesn’t actually show because he focuses on comforting you. “My sacrifice worked. That’s all I wanted. I’m sorry it hurt you, I’m sorry I made you feel so distressed, but my love,” he coos and finally places his hand on yours, making you gasp at the shot of electricity that his fingers pass to yours.

It’s all so reallike, his hand feels so soft, and warm. It’s not an empty touch conjured by your heart's deepest desires, it’s heavy but gentle. Real.

“…I’m here,” he proclaims with a honey-dipped voice he’s using to comfort you. “I’m here because of you…I think.”

You scoff in amusement and then blink when he lifts your hand and presses it against his chest, over where you feel the rhythm of his heartbeat racing when your fingertips first make contact with his chest, but then when he presses your palm harder against his chest his heartbeat eases.

This time you can’t deny the instant connection you feel when your palm feels his heart and makes yours run at the calm pace his heart runs, almost as if connecting them once again was the comfort they needed.

“Choso,” you cry happily and focus just for a single second longer on his heart beating under his chest before you slowly trail your eyes up his body, finding it unchanged and still as toned and perfectly sculpted as it was before. However, when you reach his neck you notice a burn scar that wasn’t there before. And you would know, you traced his whole body multiple times in your short time intimately together.

The scar isn’t big from the front, it’s sprawled over as if the tips of the flames had been wrapped around his neck, but it’s because it’s only peeking forward that you know it’s hiding its true result on Choso’s back where the fire hurt him the most. And when you start seeing his face the mark of what happened continues to spread, but now that doesn’t catch your eye the same way his inviting pink lips do.

The mark that came with his technique isn’t there anymore, it’s completely gone from his nose, meaning that he is probably just like you now, but you don’t focus on that matter now, or the fact that a thin line of fire now replaced the blood mark on his nose. You instead put all your attention on those beautiful eyes that were unchanged.

His eyes are still so sweet and the same rich brown that you loved, and that were uncoincidentally the same shade of brown as your favorite color.

You notice the guilt he carries, the disbelief that runs behind them, as well as the softness painted by his love for you, but what you fixate on the most is that lively gleam in his eyes that had left his eyes when he died. That gleam is back and brighter than before.

“Choso,” you muse and slide your hand over to grab his hand whilst you reach your other hand over to feel his face and set it in your mind that the flesh you feel is real, it’s not a trick, he’s real, he’s back, and the binding vow you made worked!

He’s back!

“Choso,” you laugh and cry at the same time but don’t throw yourself on him. You continue to move your hand up until you reach his head that’s missing his hair but doesn’t take away from how handsome he still is. Some men can’t pull off a bald head but he makes it look hot.

“I’m sorry,” he means his apology as he watches your eyes study his head.

“Don’t worry,” you assure him. “It’ll grow back. It’s just hair, all I care about is you. You’re back.”

Choso nods his head as a smile spreads on his lips. “I am,” he reassures your worry before he brings his hand up to cup your jaw and look into your eyes, trapping the next words you were about to utter in your throat as you remember the change you went through too.

“The eyes you met in the darkness last year won’t ever return, I’m sorry,” you tell him the truth right away just in case that somehow kills the love he has for you. “I…gave up my technique and yours in order to have you back...I’m sorry Choso. I’m sorry.”

Said man sighs deeply and drops his gaze to ponder and nod softly.

“You are a non-sorcerer, I’m sorry,” you break it to him pitifully only because now he can’t use his technique to protect his brother, or feel the twins.

“Choso?” You press impatiently. “I understand why you’d be mad, and why you wouldn’t love me.”

At the sound of those words his eyes fly up to meet your perplexed gaze and he shakes his head before he leans in. “No,” he whispers and cups your face with both hands to gently caress your cheeks as he looks deep into your eyes.

“The day I saw you and your fire-kissed eyes for the first time is something I won’t ever forget, and it’s a change that I will have to get used to, but sweetheart, just know that as I look at you all I see is my sun, my moon, my stars, and my beloved. You.”

You beam at him and can’t hold back anymore, you throw your arms around him and pull him for a tight embrace to make sure you can feel his heart beating against your chest as you hold him.

“I love you too,” you finally tell him what you didn’t have the chance to say when he was sacrificing himself in that fire. Words that don’t actually hold the true meaning of how deeply and passionately you love him.

“I love you,” you whisper again and sob into the crook of his neck. All while Choso holds onto you as if breathing and his life depended on it, as if he would somehow lose you if he let you go.

“I love you too,” he redirects sweetly before he finally assures you about your previous worry. “And…I’m not angry, I'm nothing more than ordinary now. I’m human now. Truly human because of you, and I will miss my technique because it made me strong, but…I can be human with you, my children, and my brother. So thank you.”

You pull back and look at him with a bright and awestruck smile. “You were human to me before, now you’re just a little bit more fragile.”

Choso chuckles softly and nods before his face falls. “Do you still love me as I am now? I know your feelings towards non-sorcerers.”

“Don’t worry,” you assure him as you caress his cheek. “I love you as you are. I don’t care if you're a non-sorcerer and not holding as much power. All that matters is that you’re alive again. That’s the deal I made and my feelings won’t change. Not negatively anyway.” You smile at him.

Choso sighs with relief and just as he’s going to share something you interject coldly. “Besides, I don't care about the sorcerers or non-sources. Not anymore.”

Choso blinks repeatedly in disbelief, and you clench your jaw out of anger while your eyes scream your grief.

“Why?” He asks as he feels thrown off by this sudden change. “You don’t really feel like that do you?”

You clench your fists and scowl as the memory of Okkotsu announcing his identity inside your brother's body plays in your mind and reminds you why your ideals changed so drastically.

“They took the reason why I gave up. They’re using my brother's body like they used Suguru’s. They’re using him and now…” you swallow thickly and huff. “I see Okkotsu in his body and all I hear is the clapping I heard when Riko died. All those people clapped their hands over the death of a little girl…and now that’s all I hear and I can’t care anymore.”

Choso feels a weight over his chest as he hears the cold way you speak. He partially blames himself for the way you think now, even if you just explained the reason why you hate the world, he still finds it in himself to put on some blame because you watched him give up his life to save yours. So even if he was going to help you already, he does it now with more passion.

“No, no, I know that’s not really true. You’re just grieving,” he tries to calm down your anger. “It’s happening again and you’re just using anger to express your grief.”

The creases between your eyebrows crease deeper as your eyebrows pinch further with your heightening anger.

“But whatever they’re doing, they’re doing for the greater good, he would understand that. He would want that.”

“He would want to live and do it himself,” you argue back sharply. “He wouldn't want to get used. He fought the higher-ups for that reason. He wanted to change sorcerer society for that reason!” You exclaim your frustration as you get up and turn to try and breathe as it gets hard to do.

Choso follows you up but doesn't grab you yet, he lets you catch your breath first.

“I would be angry too,” he tries to form some connection since he has brothers too. “I would cry, but then I would think about what they would want. And we as siblings have a better understanding of what they want, don’t you think? Because we have that connection no one else could feel?”

You nod. “That’s why I know he’d want to live…” you trail off and he finally approaches you and grabs your shoulder, making you find your breath and ease some tension off your shoulders.

“You really think that? You don’t think he’d let his students do anything possible so you could all win? Even if not for them then for you and Satori?” Choso pulls right at your heartstrings, causing you to break and sob because in the back of your mind you know that’s all he’d want.

“But,” you try to argue in your brother's defense. “Why did they have to use him like that? Why didn’t he tell me?” You ask softly and then face him.

“Because it wasn’t easy for him either I’m guessing…” Choso coos and gently cradles your face to wipe away your cheeks. “Because he knew if he told you, you’d fight back and it would just make it harder,” he shares because as an older brother that’s what he’d feel.

“I’d fight to keep him alive because that’s what he deserves,” you argue back but that anger you held onto moments ago is faltering. “Because…I wouldn’t want him to leave me alone.”

Choso sighs. “I know, but now you have to support the decisions he made. He’d trust you to do that, right?”

You nod softly even if you don’t want to accept it and the agony in you takes over the next words that come out. “But he promised…he promised to protect me and be with me.”

“He always will,” Choso assures your crying heart. “For as long you live, but now he’ll be closer to you. That’s why you need to have a strong heart, hm?”

And with those beautiful and soft words, the fight you were so stubborn to have falls completely and all that’s left is a grieving woman that’s left small and broken, and that only Choso could comfort.

“Strong heart,” he whispers and places his hand over your heart.

You gently cup his hand and keep it pressed on your chest as you fall to your knees and let yourself cry over the loss of your older brother, Satoru.

“Strong heart,” Choso’s words echo as he falls on his knees with you to be close and comfort you in the way he knew how. In an intimate way that gives you strength to keep fighting no matter how much you lost already because you both know that the fight for life and survival of humanity is not over yet.

At least not for the ones still standing, but for Choso and you without the strength of your techniques, it is…

——

*A COUPLE MONTHS LATER*

A peaceful silence fills the night and you and Choso take advantage of it to find peace and time to relax after being caught up in such a hectic but blissful day.

You find time for your passion that still burns hot after having twins and losing so much, but neither of you struggle to sleep when you can. Not anymore. Those sleepless nights where you admired the serene sky are gone, but, and this is important, the reason why you find sleep so easily wakes you both up with their crying that rings loudly throughout your house.

“It’s okay,” Choso whispers hoarsely. “I’ll go, it’s just Tsukuyomi crying.”

You wipe your eyes and squint nonetheless to look at him through the darkness of the room. “Are you sure?” You probe. “I don’t mind.”

Choso hums and caresses the back of your head so you’d get lulled back to sleep. “Yeah, I’ll go. Go back to sleep.”

You hesitate but your exhaustion wins this fight so you drop your head back on your pillow, letting Choso walk into the twin's room and find his baby boy wailing while his twin sister sleeps throughout it on the cradle beside his.

“Tsu,” Choso coos as he turns a lamp on so the baby can see that he doesn’t need to cry anymore because his father heard his cry.

“What's wrong, hm?” Choso asks as if the three-month-old baby would answer him—well in some ways he does because those sharp cries turn to whimpers the moment Choso picks him up.

“I know you’re not hungry,” he speaks softly but clearly to his baby because he read that’s what’s good for them to hear—“your mother just fed you before bed. And you don’t smell like your diaper is full either.”

The baby boy blinks repeatedly and watches his father with a trembling lip. He continues to breathe heavily, leaving Choso confused about how to comfort him. He knows it doesn’t take much, but he can’t find a way to comfort him, not the way you can.

You were so loving right away—not that he wasn’t, he cried when he saw the twins for the first time, and that need to protect them only heightened when he held them both for the first time. He would die for them, he’d kill for them too if the need arose. It’s just…he doesn’t feel that connection to them.

He doesn’t know why. He aches to feel it, to know right away what it is they need in the same way you know without as much as double thinking, but he’s struggled and it’s killing him.

He thought that he would feel that instant bond with his son at least because all he had was brothers after all, but that failed to manifest with his son.

They also have your eyes and he loves to get lost in them. They share your unique white hair too, he’s failed to hold onto that bond he now aches for. So maybe having you tend to baby Tsukuyomi would be the best thing, you would know how to put him back to sleep. He can’t if it doesn’t involve a bottle of warm milk.

“Why don’t we get your mother,” he tells the baby boy. “Hm?” He hums and doesn’t wait for a response now before turning off the light.

However, the moment the room is dark Tsukuyomi jumps and begins to cry, making Choso quickly turn the light back on so the cries won’t wake Suki up and lead him to more trouble.

“It’s all right,” Choso soothes the baby boy heaving and pouting. “You’re all right.”

Choso wipes away the little tears rolling down his round cheeks before he starts gently rocking him. “See I’m here. Did you have a nightmare?”

Tsukuyomi lets out a shaky breath and Choso now gently caresses his head in the same way he caresses your scalp when you’re cuddling in bed, and that seems to comfort baby Tsukuyomi the same way it calms you down.

“Yeah,” Choso laughs softly. “Your mother likes that too.” He smiles gently and confesses to his son. “Your mother has nightmares too. I’m sure she’ll tell you why she does when you’re older, but as for now, when she has them I caress her head too.”

Tsukuyomi blinks and his pupils dilate while his lips suddenly lift to a gentle smile. Choso can't help but smile proudly over that simple but beautiful gesture before he’s caught by surprise by Tsukuyomi stretching out his chubby arms and grabbing his face.

“Oh,” Choso gasps and holds his son's gaze, while Tsukuyomi coos and smiles brighter as if admiring his father.

Choso’s breath catches and Tsukuyomi refuses to let him go just yet and insists on keeping him close. In that moment sparking that forever bond Choso was aching for.

“You’re one of the best things that’s happened to me,” Choso tells his son with tears running down his cheeks. “You, your mother, your sisters, and your uncle Yuji. I’m grateful every day to your mother for gifting me a chance to be in your life. I love you Tsukuyomi.”

The baby boy drops his arms and wipes his eyes before snuggling his head against Choso’s chest and yawning, leading Choso to rock him back to sleep once and for all.

However, instead of returning him to his crib he picks up baby Suki too and lays the twins on your bed instead to keep them closer, at least for tonight.

“I hope you don’t mind them sleeping with us tonight,” Choso whispers to you, who's only half awake.

“No,” you tell him breathlessly and drag yourself over to connect yourself back to his warmth.

Choso holds you close so you can fall back asleep but as he watches his twins sleeping peacefully he smiles and whispers in your ear. “I want another baby.”

You manage to chuckle and pat his back. “Okay, lover boy let’s first watch these babies grow past two years old, and then we’ll talk. I’m not sure you’ll want more when they’re two.”

Choso’s shoulders shake as he laughs before he contradicts you. “I told you I wanted 10.”

You pull your head back and scoff in amusement. “When you can birth a child then you can ask for ten, as for now let’s stick to our plan, hm? I want more cute babies with you too, but let’s get these babies past two first.”

Choso offers you a comprehensive smile before pressing a reassuring kiss on your forehead and then pressing your head back on his chest. “We can still practice though, right?”

You grin against his chest and nod. “Oh definitely.”

He smiles proudly and returns his gaze to his sleeping twins, finding happy tears return to his eyes, as well as a deep sense of gratitude he can’t hold in. “Thank you,” he shares.

You open your eyes and probe. “For what?”

Choso presses a kiss on the top of your head and responds endearly. “For giving me a second chance at great cost to what you loved.”

You sigh gently and close your eyes before you remind him what you told him several months ago. “I told you I would die for you. It might’ve not been literally at the end but I did mean it and I will never regret it because you are the love of my life. I love you.”

Choso sighs softly and whispers, “I love you too, my love.”

A/N- Two more chapters of domestic Choso and Mc? Also, let’s pretend gege gave them a somewhat good ending to that fight. Yes? Yes!

Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25 @starlightanyaaa @notsaelty @d4rno @moonnime @kodzukein @yozora7154 @heijihattorisgf @elegantweirdorchest @natakina

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lexawoah13 · 9 months

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How to Exit a Room preview

Here’s a little snippet from the fix I’ve been writing. It’s taken from the middle of it so don’t worry there’s a bit of intro coming. Anyways let me know what you think and if you wanna be added to a tag list when I actually start posting

The majority of people leave and as the life of this party is dying, Beomgyu jumps at the opportunity to start his favourite game. “7 MINUTES TIME!” He shouts out and the crowd cheers, everyone migrating to the central couches where Beomgyu is standing. Beomgyu names himself “game master” giving him full control of the entire game. Because this isn’t your basic game of 7 minutes in heaven. No no. This frat had their own version combining it with truth or dare.

“For the rules! I’ll pick a couple to enter the room, and then said couple will pick a truth or a dare” he wiggles his eyebrows as he says dare, hinting at the contents of those dares, “from this hat” shaking the TΡΦ crested ball hat, in from of him “said task to be completed during your 7 minutes together and require some proof” These can be anything from learning each others fantasies to straight up fucking.” That's both the fun and the risk of this mishmashed game.

Of course Beomgyu being the good Fraternity Brother he is, he knows that Soobin is dying for a chance to be with you and decides to make his current dream a reality.

"Soobin and y/n you'll be our first lucky pairing of the night. Now would one of you pick your dare and show it to me please?" he looks at you coyly, a giant smirk plastered in his face.

"oh yeah, not obvious at all Choi... your wing man can't even wait a couple rounds before throwing us in" you tease elbowing him in the ribs. Soobin however is death glaring Beomgyu and so is every other female in the room. You can feel the words thrown at and about you but honestly can't find a fuck to give. If anything it was hilarious just how desperate they all were for 7 minutes 1 minute of Soobin's attention. You walk up and pull out your dare. Surprise and smugness fills you as you read it. Passing it to Beomgyu to read, his jaw slightly drops open and then tells that proof will be required to say it was completed. "and what kind of proof is that?" Soobin asks, still clueless to the dare. "ummm, a photo, video...clothing....? you can figure it out! OFF YOU GO!" he pushes at your shoulders to guide you towards the room.

Of course this frat has a whole Bedroom dedicated to shit like this. No, not a closet for the sacred game of 7 minutes in heaven, but a fully equipped room, bed and all.

"oh wow.... romantic'' you remark sarcastically

"Sorry I know… but if it makes you feel any better those sheets are clean..."

"and how would you know they're clean? What if someones already been in here tonight."

Scratching the back of his neck, Soobin looks away from you and says "well because, this is my room..."

"oh... OH"

"sorry, it's not what you think but I'd rather bring you in here than that actual room.. plus we can just talk or whatever you feel like doing"

"oh no President Choi... you have a dare to complete. Can't let your frat bros know you failed can we?" you feign offense with sarcasm and a wink.

"What was the dare anyways?"

"To eat me out" you say flatly

"WHAT?! let me see" he slightly panics and holds his hand out for the paper.

“ is it really that unbelievable? it's your game after all..."

"god I'm sorry, seriously we don't have to do any-"

"Wait, so you're not even gonna try?” you taunt “really? what will you "brothers" say?"air quoting brothers.

"honestly it doesn't matter what they think I'm just enjoying my time with you" he says immediately and you can't help the little butterflies that sprout in your stomach

"You're not even gonna try?" you tease "I thought I was finally gonna get to see what all the hype was about. I mean all I hear about is how good your dick is but I've never heard anything about your head game... makes me wonder"

Licking his lower lip he chuckles at your taunt "I'm great at eating pussy to Y/n. Reaally goood" slowly drawing out the last words

"guess you'll have to prove it" you squint to emphasize it "but it won't be that easy... if you can get me all hot and bothered without getting between my legs for 7 minutes, maybe I'll let you have a taste.." biting your bottom lip you move in closer to grab his shirt "what'd ya say Choi? you gonna show me what you’ve really got?" pulling him down closer to your face

"What's the rules?" he breathes out the words heavily "what can and can't I do?"

"anything from the waist up is fair game, just nothing between my thighs"

"Can I stand between them though?"

"mmmhmmm just no rubbing your cock against me" looking up into his eyes, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth.

Soobin lets a grunt leave his chest from your words. Picking you up by your thighs, Soobin walks you over to his desk, wrapping your legs around his waist "starting now" he rushes the words before crashing his lips against yours. You open up to him immediately, wanting it just as much as he does. You do however have to play a little hard to get. His tongue fights yours for dominance. Winning rather quickly, and explores every crevice of your mouth.

The kiss is so fucking good, too good, you want to give in right away and he's not even touching you yet. Like not at all. His hands are planted on his desk next to your thighs and you want to whine from his lack of touch. You want him to ravish you, and give in, breaking the one rule you gave him. But god, he was good even without trying. He starts to drift his lips from yours and down your neck, kissing, sucking and leaving marks you know will be there tomorrow but you can't even care as he runs his tongue over each one to soothe the ache.

Unable to hold it back any longer a whine slips from your lips and you hate yourself for it.

chucking into your neck "ahhh needy already bunny? You want me to touch you?"

but being the stubborn bitch you are, you shook your head "nope, don't care...don't care if you touch meeEE-" your voice gets higher as his fingers lightly trace their way up your stomach to the hem of your shirt.

"oh, really... so if i-" removing his fingers from your rib cage and you whine again, not even caring anymore "liar" he laughs again, coming back to your lips. "you ready yet princess or you really gonna play it out?"

"donno what yer talkin' 'bout" you pant against his lips "'m fine"

"that so?" he pulls away from you looking straight into your eyes, knowing he's winning this game. "fine..." his finger traces back up your ribs under your shirt, your breath hitching in your throat as he rubs along the band of your bra. Sliding his fingers around until he reaches the clasps "so this is fine then? you're okay" not breaking eye contact once

'mmmhhhm 's fine" you whine in anticipation for him to snap it off you. you want it off so bad, want him all over you now.

tracing his fingers underneath the clasp and up your spine you instinctively arch your back into him, looking up into his eyes even more so now, no longer breathing as his lips graze yours as he coos “too bad, thought I was getting somewhere with you” he pulls away, fingers ghosting your spine as he pulls away.

“Nnnooo” you whine at the loss of his touch and pull him back in by the front of his shirt, locking your legs around his waist so he can’t escape again.

“Thought you were good Y/N?” He smirks into your kiss

“Fuck Soobin if you don’t take my shirt off right now I swear to god-”

“No problem bunny” pulling away and discarding your shirt in a split second before he’s back on your lips. Hands on your back, at the clasp of your bra. “This to or?” Your bra is snapped off before you can even finish nodding

“christ, You really are a fuckboy”

“Don’t say that” he pouts onto your lips, leaving a quick peck.

“Why it’s fucking true. You had my clothes off in two seconds”

He can’t help the chuckle that escapes his lips “I have some… experience..” he trails off attaching himself to your collarbone

“Yeah, yeah,,. “

Soobin pulls back to study you, looking over every part of your now exposed chest. “God you're beautiful…” massaging your breasts as he works his eyes down to your nipples. Noticing the flash of silver on them, muttering “fuck”under his breath, lowering to be eyelevel with your pierced nipples encased in a skeleton heart. He can feel his cock throb at the sight. Licking his lips before attaching himself to your breast flicking at the jewelry clad bud. Hissing at the sensitivity that shoots through it.

“You’re a boob guy I take it?” panting through his assault on your nipple.

“Mmhhmmm and yours are perfect baby. So so pretty” kitten licking at the bud

“Uughhaaa-you like the piercings then” raking your fingers through his hair, slightly pulling when he nips on the ring.

“So fucking sexy.. Love ‘em” switching to the other bud to share his infatuation with them.

Soobin loved feeling the cold metal against his tongue, contrasting to the heat from your aroused nipple. His cock growing harder by the second from the noises you release as he has his way with your chest. “Yer full of surprises y/n”

“Ahhaha- you think?”

He leaves your chest to return back to your neck. Gently asking against your skin “You gonna give in now or are you gonna keep up this hard act?”

Gripping the hem of his shirt you pull it up, where he finishes taking it off “what do you think?”

“Need to hear you say it bunny, say you want it.” he holds your chin to look up at him, pausing all the previous activities until you say it.

“You’re a dick you know that?”

“Am I? Or are you being a brat?” he smirks knowing he’s got you

“Fuck…I want you” you whisper “want you Soobin”

“What do you want Y/N? Ask nicely”

“Pleaseeee” you mewl “want you, want your tongue on me”

“Be specific bunny”

Groaning you finally say what he wants to hear as you do so “Eat. My. Pussy.” punctuating each word as you slowly guide his hand from your waist down to cup your throbbing mound.

#soobinsmut #txt choi soobin #choi soobin smut #soobin smut #txt smut #[ 🐰 ] soobin #soobin fanfic #soobin x y/n #txt soobin #soobin x reader #choi soobin #soobin #txt hard hours #txt #txt fanfic #txt post

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tmntstorycomp · 27 days

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All the Comp Writing that was behind Puzzles

Hi hi! I realized if you followed the blog but weren't in the discord then you may have missed some of the hidden hints and clues that we had. Here you go!

The Notes:

From Raph

Hey Mikester,

I just wanted to reach out and see how you were doing! I know it’s been a rough past couple of weeks, being alone again probably isn’t all that fun.. But you’re welcome to we want you to come home.

We want to support you right now, even if you’d rather be alone but..

You can’t do it alone. And we want to help. Come home, Mikey.

Sinserly sinceraly Love, your big brother Raph

From Leo

Miguel!

You need to answer my texts, I should not have to send you notes via portal. BUT. I am trying to respect your space because you are my little brother and I love you.

However.

As someone who has had my fair share of awful break ups: You didn’t need her. There are plenty of.. Fish in the er… Yeah.

Listen, my point is that moping around alone is only going to make you feel worse. Come home and we can mope together.

Your favorite brother, Leo

From Donnie

Salutations, Angelo.

It has come to my attention that you are in need of help, and fortunately for you, I am more than willing to help.

I have already taken it upon myself to research the best online courses I can find, cross referencing them with affordability- not that we need to worry about that. Your old room is just the way we left it, and I’m sure we can expand it for your expanded inventory. But of course, we can’t do that until you come home.

I expect a swift reply.

Sincerely, Donatello.

From April

Hey Mikey!

It’s been awhile! But I heard what happened. I get it. And it can’t be easy raising a little one on your own. You know, my cousin had a baby recently, and I’ve gotten real good at taking care of that!

And you need a break. Come on, I want to see the little one. It’s been far too long and who knows how big they are! And! I’ll get pizza on my way over, does that sound like a deal?

I miss you Angie, and I’m bringing toys for your kid.

Love you, April

From Splinter

Orange.

I AM NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER. I HAVE BEEN ASKING YOU, MY SONS, FOR GRANDCHILDREN SINCE YOU ALL TURNED OF AGE. I WANT TO BE A GRANDFATHER.

If you do not bring young Masaccio back to the lair, there will be dire consequences. DIRE. I will not die not knowing my little grand baby!

And we can have tea. I hope you will tell me all that troubles you, my son.

Forever, your father.

The Letters:

To Massy

Dear Masaccio,

I bet you have a lot of questions. And many of them I don’t have answers to. I wish I could explain everything to you.

I wish I could have been better for you.

But you’ll come to find out that taking care of someone else is.. well, it’s a big responsibility. One that you have to be prepared for in order to give them the best chances. And I want you to have the best chances you can have.

I can’t give that to you.

I wasn’t prepared for the toll that having you would have on me. And I can’t be your caretaker any more. I’m not strong enough for you, and I understand if that leaves you angry with me.

You deserve to be angry with me.

But it’s important you understand. I may dislike being your parent, but I have always loved you.

You probably won’t remember, but as I’m writing you this letter, I have you curled up in my tail. We had spent the entire day together. You were practically bouncing off the walls, my little frog. You have so much energy, just like your father. Sometimes it’s hard to keep up!

Today, you learned how to finger paint. Daddy sat with you the entire time, he said you had the magic touch, just like him. You smeared paint across the table and the pages and the carpet. You were having fun and your laughter was infectious.

I’m trying not to laugh now at how happy you looked with splotches of red, green, and blue every which way. I remember making daddy swear he would clean it all up..

But then his brothers called. You know how daddy is a hero. He’s always out there keeping our city safe. But, with daddy gone, it was just you and me.

You fought the bath, you fought dinner, you wanted him. And I wasn’t him.

Maybe you remember then… how I raised my voice. I shouted at you to behave and you looked… so sad.

I’m so very sorry Massy, I should have never raised my voice, I should’ve never said those things to you. But I can’t promise it won’t happen again.

Like I wrote, I’m not prepared for a wonderful child like you. And because of that, I need to go before I deal any more damage to you.

You cried yourself to sleep because of what I did, because I couldn’t bring myself to hold you and wipe your tears. Daddy’s home now, and he’ll be there when I’m gone.

I believe in the turtle you can become, Masaccio.

Taina

To Mikey

Dear Michelangelo,

This isn’t how I wanted to do this, he’s only just a kid. I look at him now and wonder how I was silly enough to let these years pass me by. He’s so little now, his eyes are so full of light that sometimes it’s hard to peer into them.

Sometimes, it stings. But even now as I write this, I have him curled around my tail and you’re fast asleep. He’s almost cute. But then I remember the tantrum that I battled just to get him here. Just to get him to stay quiet so I have a few moments of peace and suddenly he’s not the cute toddler that I had hoped. He’s a screeching monster of tears and snot.

And I love him. I love him so much. But Michelangelo, he’s not mine to love. He’s not my baby. I can’t be here to raise him.

And I’m sorry.

But I can’t do more. You keep saying that if we just push through it then we will come out the other side but the further I push the deeper into the earth I feel.

I shouldn’t have allowed this to go so far, but you were so happy.

Do you remember the night we met?

It was raining in New York. I was just freshly mutated, I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I’d heard stories of mutants in New York for years by then but I guess I never believed them. I was squatted underneath a bunch of cardboard and you…

I still smile thinking about the way you fell into my life. You said you’d been dancing on the rooftops and slipped.

Dancing, while the city around you was nothing but gloom, you danced until you came tumbling into my life.

We were so happy. I was happy. And I found the place where I belonged in your arms and everything was fine.

Late nights staying up, playing with the soft strands of hair along your scalp as you showed off drawing after drawing. Taking in the soft glow of the candles every which way. We were in our very own slice of heaven. Then you asked me to marry you and the world came to a halt.

I could’ve sworn my heart had exploded that day from my excitement…

… maybe it did.

Because we were wed and we were happy and we were- We were us! Nothing could tear us down until..

Until you said you wanted a baby.

And I was hesitant. Were we even ready for that? Was I ready for it? No.. and I said that, you understood and we waited a year and you asked again. And you looked so hopeful that I would say “Yes, I’m ready!”

But I wasn’t.

I’m still not.

But I said yes anyways and you were so excited that I convinced myself I wanted this. And that’s when we had our Masaccio…

I love him t

o the moon and back, Mikey, I really do. But I’m not ready to be his parent, and he needs someone whose ready. He needs someone who won’t grow to resent him just for being a kid. I can’t grow to resent him.

Your family will love him, pick up the burdens that I leave behind. You will love him.

You’ve always been extraordinary, Mikey. You’ve always been as bright as the sun. I don’t want to eclipse our little planet.

I love you, Michelangelo.

Be brave, Taina

Massy's Father's Day Poem

Happy Father’s Day, I say to the man who told me I was loved, Who has been there in every way, Splattered paints and shiny toys, A happy home to grow my heart,

Happy Father’s Day, I say to the man who kept me safe, Who tended to scrapes whenever I’d play, Bruised knees and tiny cuts, A safe home to protect my heart,

Happy Father’s Day, I say to the man who lied to me, Who told me everything was okay, Ancient letters and pleas to stay, A quiet home to pierce my heart,

Happy Mother’s Day, I say to no one who cares to listen, Who left because I was too much a fray, An old photograph and mental strain, An empty home to break my heart.

#tmntstorycomp #tmntstorycomp lore

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shinwoonoh · 1 year

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it’s ep 4 of the eighth sense and i still don’t believe jaewon is in therapy.

i asked myself why? why, when it’s getting quite obvious that jaewon is in therapy, from the woman accusing him of just being here for the drugs and to jaewon stating his parents forced him to come here 10 years ago. he sits there on a couch for four as a silhouette. the water is clear and glowing behind him. she essentially tells him to spit it out for god’s sake, says he has depression, and jaewon tells her i’m getting sick of myself wearing a mask when I’m dealing with others.

(or a deeply personal piece about my experiences with being asian and the idea of therapy, all prompted by the privilege of getting to experience the eighth sense)

[tw: depression, suicide ideation, ptsd]

i’m first generation chinese canadian and queer. my sister has depression, had thoughts of suicide, all while i myself was being emotionally and verbally abused at work. it’s been 5 years but when i drive by a white toyota 4runner (because that’s the car they drove), i’m still gripped with fear. i can only stare straight ahead hoping to god it’s not them it’s not them it’s not. i want to drive the other way onto oncoming traffic

i told my mom then, that my sister needs help - a doctor, therapy, - call the goddamn pastor from church - anything.

she told me, what use is therapy going to do?

my mom was a registered nurse. when i was a kid, she used to bring me with her on her night shifts and i’d eat tuna croissant sandwiches with the seniors in front of the biggest television box i’ve ever seen in my life. cross legged on the floor because the po po’s and gong gong’s took all the chairs. she told me if old white ladies ask for kleenex and you give them toilet paper, they’ll be mad. it’s different here.

so it’s ep 4 of the eighth sense and i don’t believe therapy exists in the minds of asian people and culture

i took a new job. vowed not to make friends at work. clock in clock out. gave limited info when coworkers asked questions. smiled and giggled. i observed and mimicked behaviour that would let me fit in. i learned how to hug someone when they were upset (tight and long, soothe their backs with open palms) even though i didn’t want to hug anyone, let alone have anyone touch me anywhere that was soft

i was masking.

been masking. for a long time.

i fit in so well, everyone likes me. i’ve been told i’m the favourite by pretty much everyone. hell, i’ve had coworkers fighting over me, told i can do and say no wrong. i’m not trying to brag. i hate being the centre of attention. i steer conversation immediately to the other person so i don’t have to talk about myself too much. just enough to seem normal, to look human - to be liked.

(even as i’m writing this, there are too many words and paragraphs about me, why would anyone read this? y’all are here for the eighth sense but i’m going on like a celebrity writing their autobiography about their tragic childhood and how they were able to rise above - so, okay, i should start sprinkling in some actual t8s content analysis, for god’s sake)

jaewon says i want to free myself from human relationships

what happened to jaewon? we don’t know entirely yet. but everybody loves jaewon. the teacher will give him a good mark because he likes jaewon. everybody in class wants him to be their project partner and everybody’s missed him since he’s been away in the army please hang out with us jaewon let’s go drinking jaewon you better show up jaewon or it would be a shame, jaewon you are so likeable loveable cool lucky don’t worry about jaewon he’s got everything going on for him

then he meets jihyun and i think jaewon has a hard time finding the right mask to put on to deal with the freshman. and he slips a lot. when he starts to talk about his brother, after eunji shows up because of taehyung’s scheming, when jihyun repeatedly corrects him that it’s jaewon that wants to be friends - not him. and finally when he kisses jihyun

he’s having such a hard time and he slips up so bad, that the next safest option is to mask right back up

oh jaewon was drunk he has a habit of kissing and yeah he’ll join them after he helps yoon won wrap things up he’s the new best friend so let’s have a meal together with jihyun and his roommate next time

3 years into my new job, someone returns to the company and we become friends, on a soulmate level. i think i was in love with her - i definitely had a crush on her. but anyways, somehow i see her and i was suddenly all sorts of things because of her. i start to look forward to work. i add my coworkers on facebook and ig. we go to parties with our bosses and a few of us go on a couple of road trips even though the pandemic is blazing in the background

she saw me, even when i didn’t want to be seen. i remember getting a particularly anxiety-inducing email from my previous job. i’m in the staff room sitting quietly, staring at my feet. i try to breathe.

i’m alone for the whole of it but i emerge from the room again. ready to leave for the day and somehow, my friend sees me. asks me what’s wrong?

how did she know? i didn’t cry. i looked in the mirror before i came out. i didn’t even say anything to her. but i tell her, quietly at first and then easily and then finally with so much - so. much. honesty.

she tells me i get it. of course you feel that way. why wouldn’t you feel that way? it’s completely understandable. i know you.

we hug. it’s one of the best hugs i’ve ever received.

she leaves for another job. i try to go on, all open and soft parts exposed. but little by little, i go back into my shell.

why would i want to show the entirety of myself? all the bits of me are all the ways i can embarrass myself, expose myself, show myself to people who will take what i show and twist and move it all in a way that becomes unrecognizable and uncontrollable

so i mask

but it’s goddamn tiring and exhausting. jaewon is exhausted. you see it in his eyes as he stares off out into nowhere when jihyun tells him his name. when they’re sitting in the train, and he’s smiling at jihyun at first and then jihyun’s smile falls open, and we see jaewon’s expression: there’s a downward movement to his lips. it’s so miniscule. maybe i’m imagining it

but that’s the moment i think jihyun sees when he tells aeri he ran into jaewon sunbae yesterday, and he didn’t look okay.

what was i talking about? oh yes, therapy and being asian and how disconnected that is to me. nobody asian goes to therapy. i can hear all the aunties and my popo saying sometimes doctors are wrong and medicine isn’t going to help. my grandma didn’t believe my grandpa had dementia and alzheimer’s even to the last minute of his death and past it. she said he was annoying and stupid when he forgot where he put his ring or when he would leave the stove on until a hole burnt through the pot.

in the farewell, a story about a chinese family that lied to their aging matriarch that she didn’t have terminal lung cancer. all of them flew back to china for a rushed and premature marriage, used as an excuse to go tearily say goodbye to their soon-to-be dead grandma/mom/mother in law, etc. the juxtaposition of them celebrating a happy marriage while crying on stage to her about her for her as she claps with happiness and pride, but also with confusion, is funny. they never tell her. and she miraculously is cured of cancer. it’s like she never had it. they lied to her because they wanted her to be happy. be happy so she wouldn’t die.

so what good will medicine, let alone, therapy do? just be happy. easy, right?

i hope jaewon continues to open up. i hope he finds that soulmate of his, maybe in jihyun, maybe in himself. i know opening up and unmasking is scary. but also masking is so uncomfortable that i want to crawl out of my skin. it’s alienating and lonely.

even writing all of this out, i still don’t think jaewon is in actual therapy. i’ve never seen it personally in asian media. so i think it’s so sad that when i’m being given a beautiful example of a korean person in korea going to therapy or whatever type of appointment relationship agreement this is where jaewon gets asked what’s bothering him and he answers truthfully and almost painlessly. like he’s been doing this for 10 years.

and i don’t believe it. it’s so fucked up that i don’t believe it. i keep thinking when will the rug be pulled out from under me? surely there’s no such thing as an asian person going to therapy. fuck, evelyn travelled through the multiverse and there’s not one of her in therapy

but it’s right there in front of my own eyes: jaewon getting counselled and advised, she has a notebook, an aquarium to look at when you’re nervous, big round metal balls to stare right back at you when you need a distraction and it’s been 10 years. i watched it all with the same eyes that saw my parents fight and punch holes in the wall before going to couple retreats at church and coming back stronger than ever. the last time i saw them fight, i was in high school. even as my sister finally spoke to her doctor and she saw a therapist, then a psychiatrist and now she’s on medication and she’s doing better. i’m not afraid she’s going to hurt herself anymore. my soulmate sees a counsellor and messages me randomly and it’s so eerily weird when she knows i’m struggling even when we’re a mountain apart

it’s all in front of me. but i don't believe it.

#the eighth sense #basically: what's it like to be mentally stable? rofl #don't know her #ANYWAYS god that was really personal and i hope this sits okay with some people #the eighth sense really just pulled this out of me and i'm really surprised i'm okay with sharing all of this #mywriting #ok to reblog

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kimiko-dear · 2 years

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Demoncest? Really?

The Obey Me fandom has some pretty weird ideas. Sometimes I can dismissively wave my hand and ignore it because I know that when you’re young you can have some pretty offbeat ideas that you’re absolutely sure about because you don’t have enough life experience and/or weren’t paying close attention. Heck, I’m 62 and I still have those, but at least I’ve reached the point where if someone explains why I was wrong, I can feel stupid, apologize, and stop thinking/saying the stupid things from then on. Most of the time. I hope.

But, come on. The boys are brothers in name only. Brothers by choice. Brothers in arms. And fanfic writers who want to ship any of the characters together are welcome to do so. I don’t see it myself, so I don’t write it, but I’ve seen some authors do it, and do it so well that it seems perfectly believable, even for me. I like that they can take aspects of the characters and expand upon them in a way that may not be game canon, but *could* be.

A lot of this anti-demoncest stuff ignores not only the fact that the demons aren’t really brothers, not even related (except maybe Lucifer and Satan, but putting those two together as a romantic pair seems like an exercise in self-flagellation to me,) but that the game itself has Asmo coming on to his own brothers, Solomon, Barbatos, and even Diavolo. Yeah, that’s Asmo, avatar of lust - you should be concerned more if he *doesn’t* do this.

Of course, he’s also crazy about mc, and most of the mcs are female, plus there’s “Popular With The Ladies,” so you know he’s not defined by some limited gender role. (I don’t like him being portrayed as gay, or the gay best friend, either, because I believe the only thing that limits his pursuits is consent. That demon is pansexual as anything.) But right from the beginning, the first thing he wanted to do when he and Beel accidentally switched bodies in Season 1 was get naked and do some exploring. I still laugh to myself every time I think of him telling Lucifer he looked so good he could climb him like a mast in the Cruise event. Barbatos reprimanded him for getting too handsy right on the dance floor. He never stops asking, but he always stops when asked to stop.

The devs put these Asmo moments throughout the game, so I think we’re *supposed* to think about the characters having physical or emotional relationships with others besides mc. (How many humans could live for thousands of years and never have even a crush or go out on a date? Get real!) At the same time, Asmo gets turned down every time, sometimes gently, sometimes dismissively, but never aggressively. Everyone knows that he takes no for an answer.

So as a player, or a writer, you can take this and imagine that there’s other stuff we haven’t seen. We hear about succubi and witches and obviously female demons exist, but until 13, who’s so far most assuredly not interested in any of the other characters, It’s a bunch of guys who’ve been together for millennia. Did they experiment? Try things out to ease some tension? Maybe, maybe not. That’s entirely up to your imagination.

What we *do* know is that *if* it happened, they were consenting adults at the time, and even the twins aren’t blood related, because none of them were born the way humans are. So if you want to think about or write about “demoncest,” go ahead. Anyone who responds with moral outrage or calls for a dogpile for others to assault you with their moral outrage should be ignored - or, better yet, blocked. They’re upset about a situation that doesn’t exist, and you don’t need that kind of ignorance in your life.

#obeyme #demoncest #obey me fanfic

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the1975attheirverybest · 1 year

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oooooh fav lyrics??? fuck thats hard. i will not explain why because i want to seem somewhat cool still and not like a total fucking nerd (despite having incredibly in depth reasonings)

The 1975 - ok this is Album has some interesting lyrics because its before he had it all figured out and i fucking love it for that, theres so many fucking contenders for fav lyrics (including all of anobrain, antichrist or The city) the entire abum is just so mmmmm. but if i had to pick an absolute fav id say

"I put your mother through hell, don't you mind I hate your brother as well, don't you mind, don't you mind Oh I was thinking bout killing myself, don't you mind I love you, don't you mind, don't you mind"

and i know i know its a verse but it isnt complete otherwise. Plus i have it tattooed on me so i feel like i had to.

I Like it when you sleep for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it - once again mmm chefs kiss of an album no skips (theyve never made a bad album) and lyricaly very beautiful, i could absolutely nerd out about all of their catalogue tbh. but for this i am excluding Nana and She lays down because theyre...just perfect, and also i sob.

so it would have to be

"And if I believe you Will that make it stop? If I told you I need you Is that what you want?"

"Before you go (please don't go), turn the big light off"

its really easy and tempting to put ballad on here but i think thats because his performance style for it is so visceral and while lyrically its beautiful still i cant imagine myself enjoying them if they were sung by someone else because they need the guts behind it ya know.

A brief enquiry into online relationships - delicious as always matthew thank you this day for our daily bread.

so its either

"I can show you the photographs of you getting on with life I've had dreams where there's blood on you" thank you for referencing the bible matthew very cool.

"You build it to a high to say goodbye Because you're not the same as them" because it is like a fucking gut punch

notes on a conditional form - seasoned to perfection. difficult because Guys is on this album and its so sweet but i dont think its my fav lyrically, for no particular reason. same for roadkill although "i pissed myself on a texan intersection" always has a place in my heart.

"I'm in love, but I'm feeling low For I am just a footprint in the snow" did you need to fucking wreck me or is that just for funsies huh?

"Don't wanna bore you with my frail state of mind "Oh, winner, winner, that's your biggest lie I'm sure that you're fine" I haven't told a lie in quite some time (Quite some time) "You know we'll leave if you keep lying Don't lie behind your (Frail state of mind)"

Being funny in a foreign language - i take 0 slander for this album because its just as brilliant as the others. so first all of part of the band is fucking art and so im excluding it because it should be all of our favs.

"I've been suicidal, you've been gone for weeks If I'm undecided, will you decide for me?W

and

"'Cause, baby, I'll do anything that you wanna I'll try anything that you wanna I'll find myself in the moonlight 'Cause, baby, I want everything that you wanna And I've tried to just be me, like, a thousand times But you're on my mind"

sorry its so long and i couldnt pick just 1 (not a libra but still indecisive) in order to remain seeming somewhat cool and not a total nerd ive refrained from explaining each choice but yeah.

Welllllll……did you HAVE to bring up “Me” AND “Frail State of Mind”?!? Are you trying to make me cry? Cuz it’s almost working.

It’s weird I’ve always kinda thought of Oh Caroline as some of his simpler writing. Not in a bad way. Like “Me” is simple as well. Simplicity has its time and its place and can be wonderful. And it IS wonderful in Oh Caroline. But I’m a layers girlie, so maybe I haven’t been giving this one much attention *runs to listen to it*

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sissytobitch10seconds · 1 year

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A Quiet Entrance

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy Summary: Nine months after landing in Dallas, Texas during the 1960s, Diego is finally reunited with the rest of his family. They've got a lot to deal with until they're safe and they've got a lot of curveballs coming to them, but they can handle it because they're back together again. Warnings: Pregnant trans character, graphically described childbirth, mentions of mental distress, and period typical transphobia Word Count: 11,618 Ship(s): Diego Hargreeves/Viktor Hargreeves

Archive link!

A/N: If you've noticed that I'm writing more fics like this, it's because my mutual poked me into watching Call the Midwife and it reignited my special interest surrounding childbirth and pregnancy, so I am combining it with my current fandom obsession. I hope that you guys can enjoy some of these, because there's going to be quite a few of them as time goes on. Thanks for reading! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

After making sure that all four of his already found siblings were listening to him, Five began to explain the situation that they were in. “I dumped you here without permission and we got the attention of the Commission, unfortunately. The Handler has been trying to do something nefarious with it since I joined and she’s using the fact that you’re all here as a way to continue doing that. I went back to the Commission and agreed to stop messing with time and keep certain things a secret as long as they helped me keep all of you safe. They’ve agreed to let us use one of their old safehouses. It’s one of the ones that The Handler isn’t aware of, so I’m sending you all there so that you can be safe.”

He had tried to make it so that his statement left no room for arguments. He didn’t want to spend an unknown amount of time poking, prodding, and reassuring them that it was okay and the right thing for them to do. He just wanted to make sure that the five remaining siblings he had were safe and tucked away until he could return them back to the world that they deserved.

Luther, however, seemed to have not gotten the message. Five should have suspected that he would be the biggest problem out of all of his siblings since their father had reassured him over and over again that he was the leader. “You’re going to go after that entire organization by yourself? Don’t you need the rest of us to help you?”

The oldest-youngest brother shook his head. “I don’t. I’m only going after The Handler and I’ve been given permission to use some of the other agents if I need any help. The thing that is going to help me most is having you all out of the way so that I don’t have to worry about you fucking up the timeline more. The Commission wants you out of the way as well. Two of you have tried to mess with the Kennedy assassination and the other two have made huge ripples in the culture of Dallas and the world as a whole.”

Diego pursed his lips and then folded his arms moodily over his chest as he sank down in his chair. Luther looked a little bit guilty and began to fidget impatiently. Allison let out a huffy noise and rolled her eyes, obviously not having any remorse for the ripples that she had sent through the timeline. Klaus just laughed as he lounged back on the couch that he was already sitting on.

“Do you understand?” Five asked as he looked out over all of his siblings. “If you all continue with what you’ve been doing until I got here then there’s the chance that the Commission will decide that you need to die anyway. You all have to go to the safehouse and stay there until I come to get you.”

Allison spoke up before the rest of them had the chance to, “Are we allowed to go back and say goodbye to any of the people that we loved?”

“No,” Five shook his head. “Not right now. Maybe if you’re all good and you’ve done what I’ve asked I can accompany you back so that you can say goodbye before we got back to where we’re supposed to be.”

She didn’t seem content with that answer, but she also didn’t pitch a big fuss. Five walked his siblings down the stairs so that they were near the car that Eliot had before he had been killed by the Swedes under The Handler’s instruction. “I want you to all go to this address and find Viktor. He’s going by his old name and working as a nanny for the family that lives at this address,” he didn’t bother to explain how he knew that as he wrote the information down and then handed the slip of paper over to Diego.

The aforementioned brother’s face was overcome with a kind of emotion that none of them had ever seen from him before. His brows were furrowed together and his mouth was in a pinched line. He walked to the other side of the car and then got in the front behind the wheel while waiting for the rest of his siblings to follow suit.

As soon as the present Hargreeves, with the exception of Five, had sat down in the car, he started it up. A flash of blue told him that Five had gone off to wherever he was finishing his business, so he pulled out of the driveway to go to the address they had been given.

Klaus struck up a conversation about halfway out of the city and towards the farm where their last brother was living. It was easy to fall into the pattern that they had grown up in, listening to him say something and then groaning or pointing out the inaccuracies in it. This time, even Luther joined in. Diego felt himself relaxing as he thought back to some of the more comforting memories that he had of when they were younger.

The tension and stress that he had felt before were back as soon as they pulled down the dirt driveway of the farm where Viktor was living. There were tire tracks down the path, but no car in front of the barn or beside the house which meant that someone had probably gone out.

Diego hung back in the car while the rest of the siblings piled out. He had a lot of emotions that he had to sort through concerning the brother that they had come to pick up, the least of which being the guilt that was boiling in his stomach at not coming to rescue Viktor from what might have been a very bad situation.

He stepped out after a moment, knowing that he couldn’t run away from it. He turned and then felt like his breath was stolen from his lungs in the best way possible.

His relationship with Viktor had been complicated from the very beginning of their lives, there was no alternative with the way that they had been raised. As they got older and began to come into themselves more as people, it had gotten even more twisted and confusing. He had always thought that the violinist was beautiful, but something had changed since they had last seen each other and the radiance of the other man had seemingly increased tenfold.

Viktor was standing next to a laundry line where he was picking up garments from a basket and then pinning them down so that they flapped dry in the breeze. He was wearing a long blue summer dress that brushed across his ankles and tightened up at the waist. The sleeves were simple and stopped at his mid-forearm with a looseness that allowed for work to be done easily. His hair was cut short again, like it had been right after they left the Academy and formed their short-lived band.

Something about the way that he was standing in the hot Dallas sun, the spring breeze wrapped around him, made him look more beautiful and ethereal that Diego had ever seen him look before. He could only see the side of Viktor’s face and yet the healthy glow that he had acquired since arriving in the past was evident. He was beautiful in the same way that he always had been, handsome yet soft, but at the same time different. It might have had something to do with the fact that he was off of the medication that he had been on his entire life and was finally able to feel his own feelings, but as soon as Viktor turned Diego knew that it wasn’t just that.

“Viktor?” Allison called, quickly getting the attention of their brother.

He turned around and his beautiful brown eyes welled up with tears. They didn’t even hang on his lashes as they often had when they were all children, back when his emotions were being suffocated by the medication that Reginald had kept him on since they were four. “Allison?” he asked.

The siblings had all been getting ready to approach their brother so that they could have a conversation without shouting, but as soon as he turned around they all stopped. He had one hand extended out over the top of a basket that was overflowing with wet laundry and clothespins, but the other one was what they were paying attention to. Even if it hadn’t been placed where it was, the object of their fascination would have been very obvious.

Viktor’s stomach was rounded out from underneath his chest all the way down to between his hips. It looked firm and not at all proportionate to what it would have been had the small man just gained some weight. The hand placed on the very bottom of his stomach made it even more obvious because it cut the dress so that the fabric was tightly formed around him. It was very blatant that he was pregnant.

Diego felt like he was frozen in place as soon as that finally clicked in his brain. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do when he saw the man that he had so much history with before that had been thrown into the equation, but now any ideas that he had were completely thrown out the window.

The rest of the siblings seemed to be similarly astounded that the bringer of the apocalypse, their timid little brother, was harboring a life inside of him. They were just as frozen as Diego and so Viktor had to be the one to make the first move. He dropped the basket of laundry so that they tumbled down onto the packed dirt and grass. He didn’t care as he hurried, as quickly as he could with the heavy weight on his abdomen, towards the siblings he was worried he would never see again.

He paused when he was finally in front of Allison, a mere foot away. “You’re okay?” he asked, his hand twitching at his side as he thought about whether or not it would be okay for him to reach out and touch her.

“Yeah, I’m okay, I’m okay,” Allison immediately nodded. She lurched forward so that she was hugging her brother, saving him from having to make the decision. Viktor had been crying the entire time that he had been getting closer to her, but as soon as her arms were around him he began to sob loudly.

“I’m so sorry that all happened and then I wasn’t even there to make sure that you were okay. I tried to get back to you but then my powers they- they just took over so I couldn’t think anymore and then I woke up in Dallas and I didn’t even know if any of you were out here,” Viktor gasped around sobs.

“Shh, shh,” Allison immediately soothed. She brushed her hand over the back of his head in the same way that Grace had often done when they were younger. She placed a kiss on his forehead and Diego felt a spike of jealousy flare up inside of him as he wanted to be doing that, though he quickly stamped it down as he remembered all of the feelings he had nine months ago when they were in their own timeline.

Allison pulled back then, brushed her fingers over her own eyes to rid them of the tears. “You shouldn’t be all worked up when you’re in this condition,” she sniffled.

Viktor laughed as the hand that wasn’t on Allison’s shoulder, reassuring him that his sister was really there and really okay, moved to his stomach. He rubbed a circle and then settled it back where it had been while he was working with the clothesline.

One of the other siblings slipped out of their surprise then as Klaus walked over to the smallest of the brothers. He wrapped one of his long arms around the violinist’s waist and brought him in to a half hug, “I never thought that we’d see you in a dress again, mein bruder.”

The aforementioned brother let out a half laugh, sounded absolutely exasperated despite how little Klaus had said so far. “How about you try being nine months pregnant in the beginning of Dallas summer and then tell me if you want to be wearing jeans?”

Klaus laughed, tossing his head back so that the black hat that was perched on the edge of his head tumbled back into the grass along with the laundry. “At least you don’t have much longer to go. When is baby supposed to come?” Klaus asked.

His hand moved over to Viktor’s stomach but Allison quickly hit it off. “Klaus! Never touch a pregnant person’s stomach without permission. Just because they’re carrying a baby doesn’t mean that they don’t get to have autonomy and consent anymore.”

The violinist quickly soothed the argument before it could really get started. “Allison, Klaus never asks when he touches someone so it isn’t like this is a pregnancy specific thing.” He then turned towards his brother with a small smile, “I am getting very close to my due date. We’re not sure when exactly because it took a while for me to remember again and then I couldn’t quite figure out conception dates because of how the time travel worked.”

“Remember?” Luther asked. He walked out from where he was standing next to the car so that he was closer to the rest of his siblings. Viktor tensed up a little bit and the wind picked up, but then he took a deep breath and everything settled again.

“I was dumped into a back alleyway when I got here. I was really disoriented because of the kinds of things that my powers had done to my head. I stumbled out into the road and someone hit me with their car,” he explained. “I actually work for her family, she’s been kind enough to let me stay here even with the baby on the way.”

“You were hit with a car?” Allison gasped.

“Yes, but don’t worry! She stopped as soon as she could so it basically just threw me down to the ground. I didn’t break any bones and the baby wasn’t hurt at all. I had a concussion for a little while and some scrapes but we’re both fine,” Viktor immediately soothed. He then flushed a little, no doubt ashamed that he had assumed they were worried about his and his baby’s health because of how he had been treated when they were younger.

Diego felt like he was suffocating, like the air around him was slowly seeping out. It reminded him of some of the training that he had done when he was younger, back when Reginald was trying to figure out if his breath-holding applied to anything other than world. His chest was beating up in his ears so that it made it hard to hear what his siblings were saying, but he was also hanging off of every word. His thoughts were rolling over and over in his head as he tried to figure out conception dates on his own.

“We should get going. Five said that we had to go straight to the safehouse after we picked him up,” Luther said as he glanced back towards Diego, who was still hanging back at the car.

The look got Viktor’s attention back in that direction as well. His eyes widened when he noticed that the brother he had been closest to as teenagers was there as well. He ducked his head down, though without the curtain of hair that he had all the way up until their sixteenth birthday, it was hard for him to hide the way that he was feeling. His eyes were wide and the tips of his cheeks were colored red with a nervous flush. Diego had seen that look a lot back when they were trying to, futilely, get their band off of the ground.

“Safehouse?” Viktor asked.

Klaus let out a sigh as he got ready to explain, “Our dear Fivey has been very busy since he dumped us here. He only got into Dallas about three days ago and he’s been working rather tirelessly to find us all. We were all dumped in different times because of how messy his powers are. Apparently we caught some nasty attention and so now he’s having to squirrel us away while he gets it all cleaned up and we get to go back home.”

“I can’t leave just yet. I told Sissy that I would get some chores done around the house and she might worry if she comes back and I’m just gone,” Viktor shook his head. He detached himself from Klaus and Allison as he slowly made his way back over to where the laundry basket was. Diego noticed, with affection swelling his heart, that Viktor had a little bit of a waddle now because of the size of the baby.

“Here, let me get that,” Allison quickly said as she moved past him and gathered the laundry up from the ground. She winced when she saw that one of the shirts had spilled out into a patch of mud and was now soaked. She placed that over one arm while she put the rest of the laundry back where it went and then handed it to Viktor.

“Thank you, I can’t reach stuff that falls as much as I used to. I refuse to be one of those people that just doesn’t pick things like that up because it’s harder, but it’s nice not having to do it every time,” he laughed as he took the basket. He turned back to his siblings. “Can you let me finish up the chores I need to do around the house and pack up some things?”

He was taking everything in better stride than they thought that he would given what their last interactions had been like. It was kind of hard to believe that the brother that they had seen up on that stage, bathed in white energy while trying his very best to kill everyone coming too close to him, was the same that was standing here. The Viktor that they had seen the last time they were all together was all blue-hued and cold while this one was full of rosy golden warmth.

Diego spoke up before anyone else had the chance to. His words had been stuck in his throat, much like his body had been stuck in place. “We have time, you can pack.”

From a few feet away from the car, between the vehicle and their pregnant brother, Luther whirled around with wide eyes. Despite his reluctance to help Five in the saving of the world earlier that day, he seemed to have jumped on it now. The idea of letting someone have more time than the rest of them also seemed to tick off Allison, but she didn’t say anything about it.

Viktor turned to face Diego for a moment, his eyes full of nearly-unreadable emotion. When they had been working together on starting their band, before Diego had flunked the police academy and blown away in the wind like bad dandelion seeds, the marksman had gotten very good at reading those emotions. He had to be since Viktor was shy and quiet and rarely ever spoke what he was thinking. “Thank you,” he whispered. He turned back around to his work so that he could finish hanging up the wet laundry on the line.

The lone girl of the family sent a half-pissed look at her brother, which just confirmed that the pregnancy was the only reason she wasn’t fighting against his decision the way that Luther was. She walked over to their brother and took the basket from him so that she could help him. Viktor was pulling garments out and then pinning them to the line while she trailed slowly after him while keeping the basket steady.

“What the Hell, Diego?” Luther demanded as he stormed back over towards his brother.

“You didn’t even want to save the world the last time that Five came to ask you for help,” Diego snarled.

“Why does he get more time than the rest of us to wrap up his shit? Five said that we had to get to the safehouse as quickly as possible because of the danger that the Commission is posing to us right now. If we stick around for too long they might figure out where we are,” Luther argued.

Diego felt a flare of anger burning up inside of him. He thought that he had left those kinds of feelings behind when he had dropped into this world. Despite the barbaric treatments of people in 1960s mental institutions, some of the things that he had talked about while in therapy had helped him with some of his issues. He had a couple of sessions of therapy under his belt before he even got there, so he just built their basic suggestions on the more modern ones he already knew. He had worked very hard to try and get over the issues that he had with his brother, to ration that it was their father that had turned them against each other like that.

He had forgiven Luther around the fourth month of being in the institution. The more that the other man was pushing this specific issue, the less he wanted to keep on that streak. “Because he’s fucking pregnant, Luther! You weren’t around him enough to see how much being forced to pretend that he was a girl messed him up. Pregnancy in the 1960s isn’t going to be fucking nice to him so we have to be gentle for two different reasons. I don’t think you want anything bad happening to him or the baby, do you, Luther?” he snapped.

“Something bad is going to happen to him, Diego!” Luther shouted. “There are dangerous people out there with guns that are going to hurt him, the baby, and the rest of us if they catch us!”

“They’re going to have to fucking wait until Viktor feels safe enough to go anywhere! I’m not going to push our pregnant brother into doing something he isn’t comfortable with,” he was basically seething at that point. They were going to be going back and forth like that for a while longer before one of them got bored and stopped fighting. It was something that they had done often when they were younger and were pushed against each other by their father. It was something that he often goaded them into and they fell into very easily. Diego also needed to burn off some of his anxiety and the other feelings that were swirling in his gut.

Meanwhile, Klaus had wandered off to talk with Viktor and Allison. “So what have you been doing since your little ending-the-world rendezvous?” he asked as he snagged one of the clothespins to play with.

The pregnant man pursed his lips and shrank down into himself. Allison opened her mouth to object over their brother bringing up that topic, but she was shut down before she really got to, “I’ve just been living here. Like I said earlier, Sissy hit me with her car and then brought me to the hospital. I had a pretty bad concussion and had no idea who I was so they brought me back with them to take care of me since I didn’t match up with any missing person’s reports. My memory slowly came back and we tried to reach out to you guys but I was too pregnant to get a job so that I could get an apartment. I work as a nanny here so that Sissy can focus on the farm.”

“They’re not working you too hard, are they?” Allison asked, her eyes drifting down specifically to Viktor’s domed stomach.

He chuckled and placed a hand on his swollen bump. “No, they’re not. I mainly do household chores and watch after Harlan. My midwife said that getting the exercise that I do is actually good for me and the baby. Makes it so they can grow up to be healthy and strong. Also means that I’m not liable to go into labor sooner than I’m supposed to,” he grabbed the last garment from the bag and then took the basket from Allison.

Viktor turned back towards the car, trying to catch some kind of a glance at Diego, when he saw the two brothers fighting. “Allison, why don’t you go see if you can talk Luther down and then send Diego into the house with me? We need to talk.”

He didn’t give them any room to argue as he drifted back into the house to finish up the remainder of his chores before he had to leave. Klaus and Allison glanced at each other knowingly before doing as they had been asked.

The back door that Viktor had just come through slowly opened and then closed as Diego walked through it into the kitchen. Viktor was placing the shirt that had gotten dirty when the basket fell back into the washing machine so that it could be washed with the next load. He set the basket down on the ground next to it and then slowly pushed himself up into a standing positon, one hand going to his back for extra support.

“Allison said that you had something you wanted to talk to me about,” Diego said softly as he walked over to one of the counters in the kitchen.

“Yeah, I do,” Viktor nodded. He turned around to that they could have their conversation face-to-face but then paused as he felt the burning, searing pain beginning to grow in his back. He placed his hand on the wall to support himself as he took in a deep breath through his nose. The muscles along his spine tightened painfully and then wrapped around his gravid belly for a solid thirty seconds before they all released. The pain fled and he was flushed with endorphins before he remembered everything that was happening. “Um, would you mind making another tally under the four on that paper for me since it’s behind you?”

Diego had been staring at him the entire time that he had been standing there, he was able to feel the other man’s eyes boring into his very being. It was only after he said something that the spell or captivation that had been placed on him was finally broken. He turned around to grab the paper and pencil that had been requested of him before he paused. “Viktor, what is this?” he asked.

“It’s just something that my midwife asked me to keep. A log book of all my false labor contractions to make sure that nothing is wrong with baby,” he replied. “Which is kind of what I need to talk to you about.”

“False labor?” Diego asked, trying to play stupid to give himself more time to process the information on the paper. It was broken up into seven sections, each with several numbers spread evenly throughout. Underneath each number was a certain amount of tallies, with some being more frequent and most of them being devoid of the marks altogether. The one at the bottom that was marked with their current date was what had caught his attention, however. The tallies increased as the day got later, to the point where there were already five in the column underneath the four.

“No, the baby,” Viktor shook his head. He snagged the paper and then set a tally mark down where it needed to be. “I know that you and I haven’t always had the… most stable relationship,” he winced.

Diego snorted, “You could say that.”

“Do you remember right when we found out that Dad died? You got distracted when you were doing your whole Batman-thing and came to me to get patched up, like you always did. And we…” his ears were burning red as he fully trailed off.

The memories of that night came flooding back to them both. It was like whenever they were seated that close together, on the poorly tiled floor of Viktor’s tiny bathroom, something drew them even closer. They had become intertwined as they had many times before, but they had become so giddy with the news of their father’s death that they had forgotten to be as careful as they usually were. It had resulted in them having to shower to get all of the blood from Diego’s cut off of them and Viktor complaining under his breath about having to pick up a Plan B on his way to work the next morning.

“I never did it. I was late going to orchestra and then the funeral happened and now…” he placed his hand on his swollen stomach.

“Are you saying…?” Diego felt his eyes widen as the words got stuck in his throat. That had happened so often when they were younger and Viktor had always been the most patient about it, struggling with his own words more often than not. The thought had flit across his mind as soon as he had seen the state that his adoptive brother was in, but he pushed it away quickly after reminding himself that nothing good ever happened to him.

Viktor nodded, tears welling in his dark brown eyes. “I think so. I- there’s a chance that it could be Harold’s because we weren’t… there was a time, right after my powers went haywire when Allison triggered me with her rumor that he… and I didn’t really have the brain space to be able to tell him that I didn’t want to or that he had to use a condom,” he gave a shudder.

Immediately upon hearing that, the amazement and wonder was replaced with burning rage. He had already felt a huge surge of protectiveness over his pseudo-lover when they found the body of the poor woman who had first chair violin in Viktor’s orchestra, but knowing that the murder had taken advantage of Viktor during a vulnerable time in his life made his blood boil. Diego had often initiated forceful sex and kissed without asking first, but he had always immediately backed off without any attempt at coercion when he had been told no.

He was brought out of some of the darker thoughts when he watched Viktor wiping at his face with both of his calloused hands. “Sorry. I haven’t been able to think about it much during the pregnancy, I’ve kind of decided that they’re yours already because I can’t bare the idea that he could have gotten me pregnant on top of everything else.”

Diego’s hand twitched at his side and he slowly brought it up to Viktor’s stomach, giving the other man ample opportunity to say that he didn’t want it. Instead, Viktor reached up and took his wrist so that he could lay Diego’s palm flat against his stomach, right above his belly button. “I had sex with you first and we know for a fact that you were ovulating then and we didn’t use protection. The chances are pretty damn high that this baby is mine,” he whispered.

Normally he wouldn’t have been able to say something like that because it all would have felt too overwhelming. While he always wanted to be a father, a child was a big responsibility and having a baby suddenly dumped on his lap when he didn’t have any time to think and panic about it made him want to throw himself into a lake and live there eternally. The impulse didn’t plague him now, though, because he knew that Viktor needed that reassurance. The baby would be born soon, especially if Viktor’s midwife was right about due dates, and he needed to be strong for the blossoming family and the man that he loved.

Diego took a deep breath as he leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. It was an intimate gesture that used to be very common for them, back when they were playing small gigs in the back of pizza parlors and abandoned garages. Viktor had always been nervous, even when he was back on the medication that their father had given him, and that was one of the only ways that would properly soothe his nerves. “It’s a lot to take in, huh?” Diego asked.

He felt like he was going to shake apart at the seams as his brain really began to process everything that had happened. One day it felt like he was going about his normal life, working as a janitor in a gym by day and being a vigilante at night. The next his father was dead, he had some of the best sex of his life, and then he was at his father’s wake. Everything after that, finding out that Viktor had powers, that his sort-of lover was dating someone new, that someone turning out to be an obsessive murderer, watching his mother die twice, watching his childhood home crumble, being forced to sit silently as Viktor begged him to let him out of the cage they had locked him in, and then watching powers none of them understood taking over their brother. That had all been before the time travel, the asylum, the second end of the world, and everything that had happened with Lila.

Now he was standing in a stranger’s kitchen, trying to work through all of those events while also processing that it was very likely he would be a father before the week ended.

“I don’t think I’ve had the chance to process it all since it began. I was back here and then I was pregnant and I had that to worry about. Still do, and then I’ll have the baby. But there’s always time for a panic attack later, right?” he chuckled.

Diego cracked a smile at that. Despite the nervous energy that was thrumming through his body because of everything happening around him, that nod back to their band days helped him feel immensely better. It wasn’t something that they had enjoyed at the time and it had worried him then, but now it made him feel warm. It reminded him of back when they thought that they had a chance for the future, that they would never hurt each other because they understood the other too well. That hadn’t lasted long because Diego was shit at managing his life and had a mean mouth to boot, but he had changed a lot since then.

“Yeah, there will be time for panic attacks later,” he murmured as he rubbed his hand over the swollen bump on his brother’s abdomen. The idea that their child was inside of the smaller man, nestled away from the world and safely growing until they could make their debut was the most exciting and terrifying thing that Diego had ever thought about.

He felt a small kick to his hand just as Viktor’s face fell from the delicate smile he had been wearing. He let out a small hum in the back of his throat as his spare hand moved away from Diego's shoulder and to his back, supporting him through another one of the pains.

Diego kept one hand on Viktor’s bump while the other moved to support his brother. They slowly walked over to the dining room table a few feet away from the kitchen. He helped Viktor lower himself down until he was leaning back in the chair, finally sitting down and off his feet. “So I’m not exactly an expert on this, but I don’t think that false labor contractions happen this often,” he gestured with his head over to the note that he had snagged on their way to the chair.

“I’m not in labor,” Viktor shook his head. “When my midwife came to the house yesterday she said that I still had a couple of days. Nothing is on the move yet, so we should have plenty of time for Five to finish doing whatever it is that he needs to get done.”

There was no argument in his voice and Diego was too worn out from having all of the information dumped on him to try and find the words. He merely added another tally underneath the hour and sat with Viktor until the other man felt steady enough to get back up. “Do you think that you could help me with some of the packing? I’ve already done most of the chores that Sissy asked me to do while she was away.”

“Of course,” Diego replied. He was standing and helping Viktor to his feet in an instant. Knowing that the other man still loved him, at least in some way even if it wasn’t the more direct way that he had been hoping for, had directed some of his attention away from all of his other thoughts. He had been of the opinion that the fathers-to-be that were obsessed with their spouses when they were expecting had been cheesy and unrealistic. He had never been around someone that was pregnant all the way from the beginning to the end when he was that young, but his opinion had stayed the same as he got older. He had figured that nothing much could change in the way that someone loved just because their partner was pregnant. He now knew better than that, because he felt completely enamored with Viktor now that he knew the other man was responsible for making him a father.

“Just through here,” Viktor explained as he waddled towards the living room. The couch had a stack of blankets and pillows carefully made up on one side and there was a suitcase full of clothes next to the chair.

Diego felt his mouth flicker down into a frown. He was grateful that this family had taken in Viktor when he needed them but he wished that it had been a slightly better situation. If the apocalypse hadn’t happened Diego might not have been able to offer Viktor a better place to stay himself, but at least in their own time the pregnant man had his own apartment and an actual bed to sleep on.

“Where’s the baby stuff?” Diego asked as he searched for it.

“Under the couch. It’s bigger than you think,” Viktor chuckled. He walked over and hefted the suitcase up onto the chair so that he could flick it open and look through it. It was full of clothes from throughout his pregnancy, though there weren’t a lot of garments in there. It was about half full with a half dozen pairs of pants, three button ups and a pair of overalls. There was plenty of room for him to move the baby clothes that he hadn’t prepared yet into it.

Diego slid everything that had been nestled underneath the couch out and then began to help Viktor fold them and get them packed away. The smaller man had another two contractions while they were working but waved away Diego’s little concerned noises every time.

Eventually, the domesticity of the situation was interrupted by another one of their siblings. They had been in the house for longer than they thought and the others were beginning to get worried that they were hanging around for too long. “How’s it going in here?” Allison asked as she looked over the baby clothes that they were sorting through. It was two full boxes worth of clothing items, everything that Sissy had saved from when Harlan was born and a few that they had gotten just in case the baby was a girl.

“Good,” Viktor smiled. He turned towards her to give her more details but then stopped as he felt another one of the building pains. Diego was on his feet in an instant, allowing Viktor to use the other man’s hands so that he could stay upright and steady.

Their sister turned towards Diego and their eyes met. A whole conversation exchanged between them in the silence of Viktor’s contraction. “Are you in labor?” she asked, keeping her voice low and compassionate as she walked over to help keep him steady.

“No,” the smaller man objected. He stood up straight with a little grunt in the back of his throat and then a splattering noise sounded through the room.

Allison let out a little giggle as she said, “I think that baby is determined to prove you wrong. Unless you just peed yourself, I think that was your water breaking.”

He slowly tilted his head down so that he could see the growing puddle of water in the middle of the living room. Despite being nine months pregnant, he had never had an issue with his bladder other than feeling like had to pee more often. He was also aware enough of his own body to know that the clear fluid leaking out of him certainly wasn’t urine. “I thought that I was going to have more time…”

Another silent conversation passed between the other siblings. Diego grasped Viktor’s elbow with one hand and placed a hand on his back with the other. “Come on, we can go out to the car and wait there while people finish up here,” he said softly.

“Wouldn’t it be a better idea for me to go out to the car with him? I’ve had a baby before,” Allison argued.

“That’s why I need you in here,” Viktor replied as he nodded towards his suitcase. “You know more about baby clothes than Diego does. He can sit with me in the car and hold my hand or whatever people are supposed to do when they’re around other people in labor.”

She looked like she wanted to protest, but he had made a good point. Instead of wasting what little time that they had before the baby got there and it was a lot harder to get to the safehouse, she gathered up the items from the couch and basically forced them into Diego’s arms. The duo were then shepherded out of the backdoor and towards the car so that Viktor would have a semi-stationary place to labor.

Klaus and Luther were talking about something amongst the white sheets that were now billowing in the hot desert wind, but Viktor didn’t really pay much attention to either of them. He had been so wrapped up in his feelings and everything that was happening before his water broke that he barely noticed when the contractions came and went. Now that the protective bubble of the amniotic fluid had left and he was focusing on how soon he was going to meet his baby, everything felt a lot more present. He had to pause every time that he got one of the pains, which was thankfully only once as they made their way out of the house and to the car.

They paused in their conversation to watch the slow way that Viktor was walking while almost clutching at his stomach. He was sure that the lower half of his sun dress was almost soaked with the fluid that was still trickling down his leg when he moved the wrong way. He tried not to think about it too much because the idea that he was going to give birth soon was almost too much for him to handle.

Diego opened up the back of the car and then carefully helped Viktor into it. The only section of the vehicle that Luther fit in, they found out, was the trunk, so even though Viktor would have more maneuverability back there, it was off limits so that they could get the entire family to the safehouse.

The marksman laid down one the blankets on the backseat and then another in the footwell so that there was some cushion no matter how he decided he needed to be. “Can you run back into the house and get some more towels? I have a baby blanket but that’s not going to be of any use to us until baby is at least a little bit clean. Especially since we have no idea what this house Five is stashing us at is like,” he explained.

Diego looked a little anxious at the idea of having to leave his heavily pregnant and laboring partner, but he also knew better than to argue. He slipped out of the backseat, but thankfully he didn’t have to go far. The other two had been watching the interaction that they were having and slowly drifting over. Diego explained about the contractions and how Viktor’s water had broken when they were in the house, which only served to make Luther look a little pale and clammy. “Can one of you go get some towels? It sucks that we have to steal from this family but it’s not like we want this baby to be born with nothing if this house Five is sending us to ends up being empty.”

Klaus immediately agreed, turning and rushing off to do as he had been asked. Luther slowly trailed after Diego as the marksman returned to his lover. He paused when he got about a yard away from the car, turning to look around like attackers could be coming from anywhere. It was a little silly since Five had guaranteed that they’d be safe for a few hours while they drove to the house, but anything that made him feel better was getting a pass in Diego’s book.

It took about ten minutes for them to all be ready to go. Viktor was in the backseat with his forearms pressed together on the backseat of the car, kneeling down in the footwell behind the front. Diego was right beside him with a bowl of water snuggled up to the door and the crease in the seat so it didn’t spill. He would douse a cloth in it and then either use it to wet Viktor’s lips or run it over the back of his neck to keep him cool. It was kind of beautiful and terrifying to see what his lover was going through to bring their baby into the world.

Eventually Allison and Klaus both came out of the house. The suitcase full of things that Viktor would need for the newborn was placed into the trunk alongside the towels and the kit that the midwife had dropped off for his delivery. Klaus was driving and Allison was sitting in the passgender’s seat, though there had been a brief argument about who should be the one sitting beside Viktor.

None of their siblings knew about their band or what their relationship had been like after Five left and Ben died, when they could only find solace and companionship between the two of them. Allison’s argument for her being back with him was that she had been in labor and delivered before, but Klaus was quick to chime in and tell her that she had a c-section so she wasn’t really going to be a huge help during the delivery part.

Viktor barely even noticed anything had changed when the car started moving. Despite not having done it for most of his life, Klaus was fairly good at driving so even the transition down the long dirt driveway away from the farm was fairly smooth. They drove through the endless streets as they tried to get to the safehouse that Five had set up for them. Allison sat so that her back was pressed to the door and she could see both out of the windshield and her laboring brother, which was the only way that she allowed Diego to stay in the back with him.

“He’s so quiet,” she whispered after almost half an hour of driving. Viktor had been swaying back and forth and breathing rhythmically the entire time, which made it very hard for her to time how close his contractions were.

“I thought that the screaming and shouting and throwing things during labor was a stupid movie trope,” Luther piped up from the back. He was nervously worrying a blanket in between his fingers to try and settle down. He kept checking behind them like he was suddenly going to see the FBI and Commission coming to chase them down, as though they didn’t look like any other family trying to get where they needed to go before a baby came into the world.

Allison moved her hand back and forth. “Yes and no. I didn’t tell Patrick that I hated him or I never wanted to have sex with him again when I had Claire but I still made noise. Contractions are probably the most painful thing that I’ve ever been through,” she explained.

Viktor was lulled by the sounds of his families’ voices all around him. He had always wanted to be surrounded by their love and warmth and he had been denied that for so long when he was younger. It was nice to be around them when he already felt so zeroed in and focused on what was happening. His brain was fuzzy and distant like it had been when his powers took over his body, but in a much different was. The only thing that he could focus on was the steadily raising tide of pain and pressure. Each wave would overcome him for about thirty seconds and then recede before the next one came in. He could feel every distinctive thing happening in his body as his baby stilled and made their descent into the birth canal.

His body had basically taken over the entire situation. He didn’t feel like he had to worry because Diego was a steady, constant presence beside him and his other siblings were all within grabbing reach. He could just focus on the pressure low in his pelvis and the steady descent of his baby.

He leaned forward and shifted so that he was up on his feet instead of his knees. It spread his pelvis at least a little bit wider, which was much more comfortable now that he was at this point in his labor. Viktor grasped the blanket that Diego had spread out over the seat of the car so that his knuckles had turned almost white as he felt the overwhelming urge to bear down. He wasn’t going to deny his body what it wanted after years of his life being consumed by only that alone. He also wasn’t sure that he was physically capable of resisting the urge.

Almost as soon as he had made the choice to start pushing, the pressure was alleviated off of him entirely. It was enough of a relief that he let out a small whimper when he breathed out after the contraction passed.

“You doing okay, V?” Diego asked as he brought the cloth over. He had wrung it out so that he could place the entire thing over Viktor’s head and cool him down. It did the trick as the water weighted down his feathery brown locks just enough that his scalp was bathed with cool.

Viktor turned his head to the side so that he could meet his lover’s eyes. He gave him a tired smile and said, “Yeah, s’just a lot.”

“You know that you can cry out, right?” Allison asked, reaching over so that she could rub his back with one hand. “We know that it hurts. No one is going to get mad at you for making noise while your body literally prepares to birth a child.”

He gave a small nod as he returned back to what he had been doing before. He wasn’t making noise not because he was scared to, but because the pain didn’t seem all that terrible to him when his mind was as fuzzy as his was. The pressure was what was wearing him out since he dealt with low level pain almost every single day. The steady movement on his back was just the right amount of stimulation that he needed to keep his body from freaking out. It was something to focus on other than the baby’s head slowly descending down his birth canal.

The tension in the car was so thick that it could have been cut with a knife. They were all worried about being able to make it to the safe house that Five had set up for them in the time that he had given them to show up. Luther was basically staring out of the back window like he was going to be able to summon a monster for him to fight just to get his nerves to settle down. Klaus was focusing on driving, though he kept muttering to someone that none of the rest of them could see. Diego was focused mainly on Viktor, but images of having to fight while his boyfriend was giving birth to their child alone kept flashing through his mind and it was making him feel restless. Allison kept twitching back and forth, her eyes never hovering on any of the siblings for long but taking more time with Viktor than she ever had before.

Suddenly, she jerked forward and asked, “Is he pushing?”

Diego’s attention was snapped out of his thoughts and day-mares so that he could focus entirely on the brother that he had been taking care of during their long drive. “V? Hey, baby, I need you to look at me,” he made sure that his voice was soft and compassionate as he said that.

Viktor had, in fact, been pushing for the last ten minutes at least while they sped through Texas. He shifted so that he was leaning back against the front seat and looking towards Diego. His chest was heaving for breath but he focused on panting like he had practiced with his midwife when they were preparing for the birth.

None of the siblings said anything about the inherently romantic pet name that their brother had just called the laboring man, focusing entirely on the way that Viktor was cupping something between his legs. His hands had moved under the sundress that he was wearing somewhere in the twenty minutes that they had all been quiet. The billowy material of the outfit was enough that none of them could make out what it was.

Diego brought the cloth down and brushed the edges of it over his red-hued cheeks to try and help him cool down. “Just breathe, baby, just breathe. You’re doing so well, working to bring our kid into the world. Don’t worry about anything else, we’ve got it.”

The words rushed over him like the soothing water from the cloth. He felt some of the tension in his muscles relax as he continued to let his body do what it needed to. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment as he felt the head, which had been crowning for quite some time, finally reach the apex and then slip out of him entirely. He had been feeling the soft, dirty, downy hair of his baby while he waited for that very thing to happen. Now that it had, he simply cradled the little head while he waited for the next pain to take over him.

Allison and Klaus shared a look with each other as they realized who the father of their brother’s baby was. It wasn’t like the pseudo-incest that any relationship between the Academy kids had been taboo. Allison and Luther had been making moon-eyes at each other since they were thirteen and they had all been raised as child soldiers instead of siblings like others might have been. It was just surprising because up until that very moment, all of them had assumed that the duo hated each other based on the way that Diego had acted during their father’s wake.

Soon, Allison recovered from the shock and turned around so that she could continue to enquire about the situation. “Diego, is he pushing?”

During the time that she had been asking him that, Viktor felt another contraction come on so he pushed harder. He let his head fall back against the front seat of the car and then whimpered when the shoulders of the baby finally slipped from him and into his waiting hands.

One second he was pushing with all his might to rid his body of the tiny infant coming out of him and the next both of his hands were full of baby. He completed the movement by removing the baby from underneath his dress and placing them on his chest, cradled protectively in his arms.

“Holy shit,” Diego whispered as he felt his eyes go wide. He might have gotten faint at the sight of needles, but blood and whatever else the newborn was covered with weren’t affecting him in the slightest. He had never felt more awake than he did in that very moment, staring at the squirming body of his firstborn.

“What? What just happened?” Klaus asked as he tried to glance back into the backseat using the rearview mirror. They had just passed by a rest stop so the amount of cars that they were passing increased enough that he had to pay attention to the road.

“Oh my God,” Allison gasped as she watched her brother slowly sink down into a sitting position with the baby grasped in his arms.

All of the noise and Allison’s insistent questions was enough to tear Luther away from where he was staring out the back window for any threats. He was now staring directly ahead, where all other eyes were, on the sweaty forehead of their brother next to the grimy body of the newest Hargreeves family member. “Viktor literally just gave birth,” he said as a way of explanation for Klaus.

Diego was the first to recover from the shock. He turned around and then flipped his body over the back seat. Luther barely even noticed that he was there, until the taller man was pushed almost unceremoniously to the side so that Diego could grab the delivery kit from where it was on top of the suitcase full of baby clothes. He also snagged a towel before he turned back around and dumped the former of the two items down. He handed the towel over to Viktor as he slid down onto the floor.

“You did this, you brought this baby into the world,” he smiled so wide that his cheeks hurt. It was hard for him to really grasp, that in a moment, without even knowing it, his baby had been born and he had become a father. The mere idea that Viktor had been that quick and efficient in giving life to another human made him all the more amazed with his boyfriend.

“S-sorry I didn’t tell you, I got too wrapped up in trying to get it over with,” Viktor replied breathlessly as his eyes flit up to where his sister was staring at the baby in dazed wonderment.

Diego leaned down and pressed a kiss to his wet forehead. “You have nothing to apologize for. I would take being surprised that I’m now a dad over you suffering or feeling uncomfortable any day,” he explained. He set the towel down over the other side the baby so that they were sheltered entirely from the rest of the outside world.

The smaller man brought his hand up so that he was rubbing small circles on the baby’s back to start cleaning off some of the birth goop. He let out a small, adoring laugh when the newborn took in their first breath and began to wail so loudly that he was sure the cars passing by could hear. “Hi baby, hey,” he whispered happily. He shifted a little bit, with Diego’s help, so that he was laying against the door with his legs spread out so that his knees weren’t bent any longer.

Diego got up onto the seat of the car and began to unpack what was in the birth pack the midwife had sent. He got out the clamps first so that he could cut the cord like he needed to. “Roll them out towards me?” he asked Viktor.

The other man complied, shifting the baby around so that the neonate was facing up towards the ceiling while still protectively wrapped up in the towel. ��A little boy. We’ve got a little boy, Vik,” Diego was almost crying as he got a good look at his son. He would have been happy with either sex and he would be happy with any gender that his child may or may not decide he wanted to be in the future. He was more marveling about every little detail he got to know about his baby now that the little one was finally there.

“We do, he’s our little boy,” Viktor beamed at him before he looked down at the newborn with a fascination that only a brand new parent could have.

Allison instructed Diego on about how far down he had to cut the cord based on what she remembered from when she gave birth to Claire. They gave it an extra little bit just so that they could be sure they weren’t hurting the newborn.

He shifted again, placing the clamp back in the bag now that they had tied and cut the cord. He wet a towel with the water from the bowl and handed it to Viktor before he dumped the rest of it out of the rolled down window. He then placed the bowl on the ground of the car so that they could use it to catch the afterbirth when it finally came. He knew that much from the mandatory lessons about childbirth they had to take during their first aide training.

“We’re about an hour away from the safehouse where we’re going to be able to bury it, sorry,” Klaus said as he checked the roadsigns that they were passing by.

“It’ll fly by now that we’ve got him here,” Viktor whispered as he looked down at his son. He had finished washing the baby off so that he was now spotless, pinked skin and kicking his chubby legs like his life depended on it.

They managed to get some clothes from the back thanks to Luther rooting through it until he found something that looked to be about the right size. Once the baby was changed into a diaper and onesie, Viktor wrapped him up in the baby blanket that Sissy had given him when he first found out he was pregnant. “You wanna hold him? I have to pass the afterbirth and then I want to change into something so I can feed him.”

That question was one that, for some reason, he hadn’t really been expecting to be asked. He knew that the baby was his and eventually he would hold his son, especially since he wasn’t going to be distant like some of the fathers he had seen in the sixties or his own. Still, it came as a bit of a shock to him and sent his brain reeling.

He ended up just opening his arms for the newborn instead of being able to give an affirmative properly. All of his words were stuck in his throat, like they got every time he was worried about something. He carefully took the baby into his arms and then sat back on the seat of the car while staring down at the tiny face of the newborn. His son was still wailing loudly since it was overwhelming and confusing to be out in the world when he had been in the protection of Viktor’s womb only moments before.

The aforementioned man moved so that he was in a squatting position above the bowl and grunted as he pushed one last time and the afterbirth came out of him. Allison ended up looking it over with a pair of gloves from he birthing kit so that they could make sure it was the entire thing.

Viktor was changed out of the now completely ruined sundress into a pair of baggy pajama pants and one of the button up shirts for ease of access when he was breastfeeding. His belly was still there but it wasn’t nearly as large or hard as it had been when the baby was inside. Diego got him set up on the seat part of the back with the pillow they had grabbed from the house propping him up against the door. He sat on the floor, though the blanket that had once been down there was now rolled up on the other side with the afterbirth bowl tucked inside of it so that no one had to look at it.

The rest of the siblings were quiet, each of them processing the fact that they had just become uncles and an aunt. Luther was staring out the back of the car to protect them from attacks in that direction and Klaus was focusing on driving.

Diego brushed his fingers over the soft hair on the back of the baby’s head while Viktor focused on helping the baby get his first feeding. “It’s hard to believe that he’s real. I know he’s mine though, he’s already got my nose and lips.”

“He’s got your eyes too. The shape of them. The blue will go away eventually,” Viktor said affectionately. “I think. It’s possible we’ve both got blue eyed parents and we don’t know.”

“I know he’s all squished and lopsided right now but he really does look like us.” He was marveling over that fact for several minutes until he finally asked, “What are we going to name him?”

“I was hoping that we could name him something Russian. I know that you’re Spanish and that’s also very important to you but… I just wanted something to connect him back to my own mother since I was thinking about her a lot when I was pregnant,” Viktor said, his voice small and nervous.

“Something Russian,” Diego hummed as he thought about it, not even questioning it.

“Rasputin,” Klaus said from the front seat. That got a laugh from the rest of the siblings, which was enough to make them all relax a little bit. None of them seemed to realize how the nerves of the baby being born on top of fleeing to a safehouse had worn on them until that joke finally broke the tension like a ball of glass.

They went quiet again, though it was a lot more easy this time. Diego brushed his fingers over the back of the baby’s head. “Aleksei?”

Viktor looked at him, tearing his eyes away from their baby’s now sleeping face for only a moment. “Aleksei Benjamin Hargreeves. I like it.”

In the front seat, despite being the person that had been most relaxed through the entire process of driving to the safehouse, Klaus tensed up. He turned to the side where Allison was sitting, though it was pretty obvious that he wasn’t looking at her. He glanced to the backseat and said, “Ben says he’s honored.”

None of them could say anything about that, but Viktor leaned forward so that he wasn’t directly crying down onto the baby as he suppressed a sob. Diego moved so that his boyfriend was laying down in between his legs and surrounded by his warmth. They stayed like that until they got to the safehouse, forty five minutes after Aleksei had been born.

Luther carried Viktor into the house, which they found to have two bedrooms and be completely furnished with anything that someone would need to live there for upwards of two weeks. Diego was put in charge of getting all of Viktor’s clothes set out along with setting up the cot for the baby to sleep in. Luther was in charge of digging the whole for the afterbirth while Allison and Klaus worked on getting some food ready for the rest of their family.

Viktor chose to be in the living room while all of that was happening. He had been separated from his siblings for his entire life and he had just been through something deeply traumatic and frightening, so he didn’t want to be away from them again so soon. Aleksei seemed to be soothed by being around Diego anyway, and he was building the small cot in the living room where there was more room.

Another half hour had passed by the time that the tell-tale pop of Five teleporting sounded around the room. “You all got here safe, good,” Five breathed out. He looked worn out and tired, like he had lived an entire life between when he had told them to come here and that moment.

“Hey, do you want a grilled cheese? I know you prefer that peanut butter monstrosity but Viktor got to choose because… well,” Klaus waved the cheese-covered spatula towards the aforementioned brother.

Five’s brow furrowed together with confusion before he turned towards Viktor. He was laying on the couch with a blanket draped over his legs and part of his chest as he nursed the newborn again. The eldest-youngest brother blinked a few times and then said, “What the fuck?”

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alexandreajones1947 · 9 months

Text

📣 Attention Bendy Fans and Aspiring Writers! 🖋️📚

Hello fellow Bendy enthusiasts!

Are you a die-hard Bendy and the Ink Machine fan? Have you read all the Bendy books, played every game, and watched every thrilling moment unfold? If so, I want YOU to join a group of talented fanfic authors!

About me:

(ahem)

Hello! my name is Meg, and I am a teenage girl currently attending a trade school, and struggle with severe ADHD, Anxiety, and OCD and am currently taking medication for all of these. Unfortunately, not all of my symptoms have been able to be effectively treated— as I suffer from severe writers block and mental fatigue when actually trying to put my thoughts and ideas on a page. This unfortunately includes the fanfic I’m trying to write, which is why I need help.

I struggle with communication and have only one friend because of this, who is also part of the bendy community. I should note I am very socially anxious, and shy, but friendly (I think?) once I warm up.

My role in writing the story:

as of right now I have a vague outline skeleton of the plot of the story, and character backstory’s, but if I could write an entire story by myself I probably wouldn’t be here asking for help, if you would like to see ideas I have for the story as of right now, I’ve copied and pasted the outline in a server on my discord!

My requirements:

This project is nonprofit, as I do not have the means to pay you (unemployed), so please have that in mind

I’d feel more comfortable if my fellow writers were around the same age as me, for maturity reasons and such, but I will allow people up to 20 to join.

I’d also appreciate it if you have read all the books/own them, I’m currently on page 40 of the Lost ones myself.

If you do want to join me, please have an example of your writing on hand (bendy fanfic if available)

Accurate Knowledge of history, ww2, America during ww2, etc

Able to accurately depict grief, etc

Background about the story

My fanfic takes place from 1943 to 1945

The main character, Sylvia is (unknowingly) the daughter of a famous retired Hollywood actress and an popular musician, Sylvia has two older brothers, who, along with their father, was drafted into ww2. Sylvie is the 3rd child and only daughter of the Young family— she has two younger brothers, who are twins.

Sylvia meets Joey when he takes a wrong turn on a street, and comes across her selling her painting and sketches on the sidewalk, eventually the two get to talking, and Joey offers her a job, which she accepts, and the rest of the story details her journey through the studio.

Warnings about the story : this fanfic will (probably) have period typical homophobia and racism, curses, harmful ideals, gore, body horror, torture, casualty’s of war, suicides, car wrecks, mental abuse, manipulation, exploitation, mentions of past abuse, character deaths, BRUTAL character deaths, and other warnings to be added.

How I currently imagine handling credit:

I’m think about having the people who worked on a certain chapter put their initials/names in either the bottom of the page, the top corner, or anywhere else I can think of, if you would like to suggest a different method please reach out to me

If you would like to join me, you can reach me (or join my discord server) on these platforms:

Discord server link:

My fanfic email:

[email protected]

Why did I add these themes? Because I feel like that if they weren’t mentioned, it kinda feels like we’re ignoring/erasing the past, and that is a major injustice to those who suffered because of these beliefs during this time. (i should note that I myself do not support these “Ideals” and am part of the LGBTQ community myself (Asexual).)

#batdr bendy #batim bendy #bendy and the ink machine #bendy fandom #bendy and the dark revival #bendy oc #bendy the cage #batds #batim dctl #bendy dctl #dctl #bendy tlo #The illusion of living #joey drew #video games #viral #tumblr fyp

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normspellsman · 1 year

Note

Hey bestie xx I would love to know these 🛒 💖 👀

Ly xoxoxxo

hihi love!!!

🛒 — What are some common themes you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

i feel like i write a lot about the sully brothers being feral for the reader lol. like, my works “she is mine”, “i trusted you”, & “take me with her” really encapsulate that.

i also write a lot about whatever character i’m writing for being a total lovesick puppy for the reader as well. i feel like a lot of people don’t or haven’t really experienced that as much as they should. everyone deserves to be loved & doted on by the one they love so i always try to include that in my works in hopes of making my readers feel that kind of appreciation.

even tho i may not put it in the notes (sometimes i do), a lot of my works are inspired by a song or multiple songs i’ve listened to. that shit really gets me going.

💖 — What made you start writing?

i literally can’t remember lol

i think it was around the fifth grade when i had a genuine interest in writing. a friend of mine was quite a good writer & would show her work to our teacher whenever she finished a short story. i guess that’s where my interest in writing came about. i decided to give it a shot since that’s when i became a heavy bookworm. i even had a little journal dedicated to my stories hehe. i wrote mostly about what i was reading at the time, creating my own characters & inserting them into the plot.

eventually, writing became a lifeline of sorts during some of the hardest times in my life. it really helped me express myself in ways i couldn’t verbally or physically do. it’s always been a part of my life & i have periods where i’ll write about something or for something for weeks or months on end & then there are times where i don’t & just simply live & do whatever else needs my attention.

👀 — Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

aahhh i have so many 😭😭 i’ll tell you all of them 🫶🏼

firstly, i have the second part of “take me with her” that has literally all of my attention currently. i’m at 10.4k+ words 🫣. she’s gonna be a long one lol! it will have a lot of angst, but a happy ending :). lo’ak & reader are such cuties in this piece but will stress everybody out because of how oblivious & quick they are to jump to conclusions. that’s all i’m going to say 🤭.

secondly, i started working on a request that is based on crybaby!reader & dad!jake sully & is so angsty, it’s not even funny. i only have a rough outline of the whole thing so i’m not too sure if that’s the one i’ll work on after publishing part two of “take me with her”.

thirdly, i have been heavily thinking about a lo’ak x fem!omatikaya!reader series where reader is betrothed to neteyam but is in love with lo’ak. both lo’ak & reader are interested in each other but are so oblivious that it’s sad to watch. i have an estimate on what i want to do with this plot & where i want it to go but i’m not too sure. entirely based on the song “figure you out” by VOLIÁ.

i have a lot of requests that include the reader & sully family, so there’s those that i’m working on.

my goal is to get some of my requests finished & published after finishing up part two of “TMWH” since i have so many. we’ll see how it goes.

love you too bestie!!! thank you so much for asking!!! hope you have a great day mwahhh 💋🫶🏼🤍

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sophierequests · 2 years

Note

Okay I lied. Here's one more because I can't help myself with these wonderful asks for this event. Bear with me please. <3

🌷 not a ghost but with a little twist

I don't know if this is allowed (but since you said I'm loki in your cym ask, I might as well act like it👀) - I don't write fics but I do give reviews, so I was thinking to link my favourite Sirius Black fic written by a really good friend here. It's worth it I promise.

@bookshelf-dust is worth the hype and I want to talk to you about Sirius Black of course

A masterpiece - here you go

If you're okay with this if course<33

reading + reacting to other writers' fics // love and mandrakes - sirius black

a little twist 👀 i like that

honestly, i don't care whether it's your own fic or not, because just reading other people's work makes me happy <3

live reaction:

i’m already a sucker for a fic that happens during herbology class, you you got me there

i love professor sprout omg

i would be so sad if i killed a plant in her class istg

there he is!! my boy!! always with the theatrical entrance, as he should!! i love him too!!

i would kill to be in professor sprout’s class

i see what you’re trying to do mr. black

now i can’t get the picture of remus piercing a shitfaced siruis in the middle of break while regulus stands there and watches

i’m imagining remus tossing sanitizing cloths at sirius whenever it is time to clean the piercing

wow, you just summarized my entire time at high school when it came to group projects

i love sirius

did i already mention that?

he’s just great

and an ass, but in a good way

teamwork makes the dream work ohooo

simp sirius is the best sirius

queen mention queen mention queen mention-

OMG A LITTLE SHOP OF HORROS REFERENCE IM STFFGHGSDSHJ GOING FERAL

sirius would fucking love a little shop of horrors

(also, the big brain move of using a musical that features

teasing = flirting

CO-PARENTING A MANDRAKE OMFG I AM UNWELL

GENIUS

the mandrake is a child of divorce send tweet

forest green is my favourite colour omg

REMUS MY FAVOURITE BOY THERE YOU ARE

oh i can already tell everything that relates to remus is going to be my favourite part

early retirement i am crying

remus being overdramatic

he’s just like me fr

we love to see it

bisexual sirius confirmed

remus is so done with them hjgsdlzg

i love him

help their banter makes my day

wolfstar besties, my heart <3

“look at this fucker” SIRIUS THAT’S YOUR CHILD

friend ;))))

simp sirius part i lost count

remussssss <333

now both are just simping huh

being reading besties with remus is all i want in life

reading with sirius would be so chaotic oh god

attention starved is sirius’ only mood

AHHHHH PLAYING WITH HIS HAIR I AM SGKSGTSSGSLU

oh god i loved it!!

my favourite lines:

She’s been briefed on what his home life is like, too, and who he has to put up with. And since she was a young girl, Pomona has been determined to give everyone a fair chance.

→ i teared up a bit

“I was prohibited,” he says, pressing a scandalized hand to his chest. “Remus did it for me over break, while my brother played nurse.”

“And for the record,” he adds, “Remus was very strict with my cleaning regimen, so I did not get any infections if that’s what you’ve been contemplating.”

→ this is canon

"Feed her, Seymour," you say, and Sirius whips his head towards you.

→ the impact this line had on me is astronomical

“I’ve realized we’re co-parenting a Mandrake,” he starts, “and I feel as though I should at least know a little something about the mother of my child.” You raise your eyebrows at him. “You know, to ensure that they don’t grow up lacking proper guardianship.”

“First, you don’t want to be friends, and now, you want our child to be one of divorce.”

“Sirius, we haven’t even been married.”

He presses his forehead against the stone next to you, and you turn to look at him. “I’m pretty sure there are a good bit of people who’ve been married and know less about each other than we do,” he says.

→ this whole part had me screaming

“I don’t come to class one day, and you’ve made a new friend? Why couldn’t you have made a new one any other day? I think I need some time off. Maybe even early retirement.”

“It’s rude to abuse the wounded.”

→ remus is my baby, i love him

“You say that as if I won’t do it.”

James sits up, but only enough so that he may rearrange himself into a poorly structured child’s pose. “Stop being such fucking tease and do it then, babe.”

→ is this queerness i smell

“See? Look at this fucker. My child.” Sirius gestures dramatically at the potted plant. Remus leans up against one of the tables, only slightly amused, much more out of breath.

→ a plus parenting sirius

“You whined about me making new friends,” Sirius says, “so that I’d leave you alone, and now you’ve taken it upon yourself to steal said friend from me?”

→ dkjsksgl

“I want you to play with my hair,” Sirius says.

→ deceased, dead, i died

final review:

this was so so good omg!! the pining, the flirting, the co-parenting??? i loved everything about this you have no idea. i may not be the biggest marauders stan to ever exist and i’m more of a moony type of person, but i love pads so much <333 he is baby <333 i also have to say that this did not read like a 5k fic, i was genuinely surprised how quickly this was over.

→ to my event post!

#— the garden celebration #— sylvia 🪐#sirius x reader

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bitletsanddrabbles · 1 year

Text

"Dear Charles,

A man named Inkstead* took some pictures of me for Harper’s Bazaar a while ago (I never found out quite why) and one of me holding my secretary in my lap came out very well indeed. When I get the dozen I have ordered I’ll send you one. The secretary, I should perhaps add, is a black Persian cat, 14 years old, and I call her that because she has been around me ever since I began to write, usually sitting on the paper I wanted to use or the copy I wanted to revise, sometimes leaning up against the typewriter and sometimes just quietly gazing out of the window from a corner of the desk, as much as if to say, “The stuff you are doing is a waste of my time, bud.” Her name is Taki (it was originally Take, but we got tired of explaining that this was a Japanese word meaning bamboo and should be pronounced in two syllables), and she has a memory like no elephant ever tried to have. She is usually politely remote, but once in a while will get an argumentative spell and talk back for ten minutes at a time. I wish I knew what she is trying to say then, but I suspect it all adds up to a very sarcastic version of “You can do better.” I’ve been a cat lover all my life (I have nothing against dogs except that they need such a lot of entertaining) and have never quite been able to understand them. Taki is a completely poised animal and always knows who likes cats, never goes near anybody that doesn’t, always walks straight up to anyone, however lately arrived and completely unknown to her, who really does. She doesn’t spend a great deal of time with them, however, just takes a moderate amount of petting and strolls off. She has another curious trick (which may or may not be rare) of never killing anything. She has brought into the house at various times such things as a dove, a blue parakeet, and a large butterfly. The butterfly and the parakeet were entirely unharmed and carried on just as though nothing had happened. The dove gave her a little trouble, apparently not wanting to be carried around, and had a small spot of blood on its breast. But we took it to a bird man and it was all right very soon. Just a bit humiliated. Mice bore her, but she catches them if they insist and then I have to kill them. She has a sort of tired interest in gophers, and will watch a gopher hole with some attention, but gophers bite and after all who the hell wants a gopher anyway? So she just pretends she might catch one, if she felt like it.

She goes with us wherever we go journeying, remembers all the places she has been to before and is usually quite at home anywhere. One or two places have got her – I don’t know why. She just wouldn’t settle down in them. After a while we know enough to take the hint. Chances are there was an axe murderer there once and we’re much better off somewhere else. The guy might come back. Sometimes she looks at me with a rather peculiar expression (she is the only cat I know who will look you straight straight** in the eye) and I have a suspicion that she is keeping a diary, because the expression seems to be saying: “Brother, you think you’re pretty good most of the time, don’t you? I wonder how you’d feel if I decided to publish some of the stuff I’ve been putting down at odd moments.” At certain times she has a trick of holding one paw up loosely and looking at it in a speculative manner. My wife thinks she is suggesting we get her a wrist watch; she doesn’t need it for any practical reason – she can tell the time better than I can – but after all you gotta have some jewelry.

I don’t know why I’m writing all this. It must be I couldn't think of anything else, or – this is where it gets creepy – am I really writing it at all? Could it be that – no, it must be me. Say it’s me. I’m scared.

- Ray

*Actually John Engstead."

- Selected Letters of Raymond Chandler edited by Frank MacShane, pg. 49-51

**I don’t know if the repetition was intentional on Chandler’s part, an error in the letter, or an error in the book, so I left it as is.

#raymond chandler #letters #on famous people's cats #meow #cat dad #cat ownership

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twdmusicboxmystery · 2 years

Text

11x23: Family - First Thoughts

Okay, what did everyone else think of ep 23? I thought it was awesome! Not only was the end so heart-meltingly sweet (“Daddy?”) but it was totally full and action and BETH CALLBACKS!!! Did you catch them all? If not, keep reading!

***As always, spoilers for the episode abound below. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

So, the first thing I want to point out is Judith’s monologue at the beginning. Obviously we’ve been paying close attention to those for this entire block of episodes. But this one REALLY reminded me of Beth’s monologue at the beginning of Inmates. Now, of course the words and images they showed were different. Because using the exact same ones would be obvious and wouldn’t work for what’s going on in the show right now. But the ideas are very similar. I’ve bolded corresponding ideas below. Check it out:

Judith:

“For the longest time, we were just fighting to survive. Trying to get back what we lost. This family, my family, we would do anything to protect each other. And we’re fighting now for something else. Something bigger. A new beginning. But that comes with a cost. There’s always a cost. I never got to know my mom, Lori. My brother Carl dreamed of a day when we’d all live together in peace. My mom Michonne tired to hang up her sword. My dad Rick was searching for mercy. And me? Well, I guess I’m a Grimes too. I keep thinking about something my mom told me. A secret saying she used to share with my dad. It was like a good luck charm. For me and RJ, too. I was afraid to say it out loud. I was afraid to say so many things out loud. But we didn’t know when we started this, that this would be the day everything changed forever.”

Beth in Inmates:

“Hey, I know it’s been a while. I’m gonna be honest. I forgot about you. After the farm, we were always moving. But something happened. Something good. Finally. We found a prison. Daddy thinks we can make it into a home. He says we can grow crops in the field. Find pigs and chickens. Stop running, stop scavenging. Lori’s baby is just about due. She’ll need a safe place when it comes. The rest of us, we just need a safe place to be. I woke up in my own bed yesterday. My own bed, in my own room. But I’ve been keeping my bag packed, keeping my gun close. I’ve been afraid to get my hopes up, thinking we can actually stay here. The thing is, I’ve been starting to get afraid that it’s easier just to be afraid. But this morning, Daddy said something: “If you don’t have hope, what’s the point of living?” So, I unpacked my bag, and I found you. So, I’m gonna start writing in you again. And I’m gonna write this down now because you should write down wishes to make ‘em come true. We can live here. We can live here for the rest of our lives.”

Okay, so again, obviously different words. But both talk about what was lost (the farm, or Judith just saying ‘what we lost.’) They also both talk about a new beginning. Judith actually says that, Beth talks about finding the prison. Both mention Lori in some way. It’s notable that Beth mentioned Judith’s birth, and now Judith, so much like Beth, is doing the monologues. And both talk about what being afraid, but trying to let go of that fear. Both actually use the words, “I was afraid” or “starting to get afraid.”

I would even argue that Beth talks about her journal, though we don’t actually see it in the sequence, while Judith pulls out Michonne’s paper of laws that she had the community leaders sign. Both have to do with records of what has gone before, as well as planning for the future.

See the similarities? Well, buckle up, grasshoppers, that’s just the beginning of the parallels.

Next, we have Rosita and Gabriel on the train, talking about faith. Again, Rosita = Daryl in Inmates, and Gabe = Beth. Rosita sort of mocks his faith a little, but he just smiles and affirms it. Very similar to Beth and Daryl’s exchange about faith in Inmates.

This one may be small potatoes, but it got an eyebrow raise from me. We see a walker, walking along the tracks, just before the train hits it.

Maybe just an excuse for walker gore, but it reminded me of the walker we saw in 5x01 walking along the tracks. People called that the “Andrea walker” because it was wearing Andrea’s S3 outfit, but it also had a handcuff attached to one hand. There’s no doubt in my mind that it was a foreshadow of Beth’s arc.

Beth was already imprisoned at Grady by this time, and she took over many of comic-book-Andrea’s storylines. Especially her scars. So, seeing another walker walking along the traintracks felt like a callback to 5x01, and hence, a Beth clue.

Next, we had Daryl telling Judith that after this mission, he’ll tell her every story he has about everyone who ever loved her. OBVIOUSLY that would include stories about Beth.

And for the record, this is actually the second time he’s said something like this to someone. The other person was Lydia, back in 9x16, The Storm. When they were looking at the pictures above Maggie’s desk at Hilltop, he told her one day he’d tell her about them. As far as we know, he never has. But they aren’t putting things like this into the show by accident or without any intention of following them up. Granted, I don’t think we’ll see this in ep 24, but we will at some point. And of course we have the spinoffs coming up.

Next, we have Lydia’s arm. A sad development, but we’re not seeing any indication that she’ll die from it. With Cassidy Mclincy spotted in France, there’s a very good chance she’ll be part of the spinoff. But the main thing here is that, while they tried hard to equate it with Aaron losing his arm, it was really more reminiscent of Tyrese.

Not only because it was a walker bite (Aaron’s was not) but because they held her arm out and cut it off with a sword. Even the camera angle was exactly like Tyreese’s in 5x09. You know, the last official episode we saw Beth in, with tons of foreshadows of the CRM. Just saying.

Seeing the group crouch outside the CW, looking for a way in reminded me of the end of 4x16, when Rick, Michonne, Daryl, and Carl did something similar before going into Terminus.

Eugene fights with a trooper in his room. It reminded me a lot of Daryl’s fight with Officer Lecari in 5x07 Crossed. We already talked about how they called back to that in the earlier episode when Daryl and Carol had to fight people off, but this felt similar to me.

Now, for the biggest parallel. Since footage of Daryl carrying Judith surfaced some time ago, we’ve known for a while that Judith would be injured, but we didn’t know how. She was SHOT guys. SHOT. And the entire train station sequence was one big replay of Grady.

So, first we have Judith pushing Maggie out of the way. Oh man. We could go several ways on that. Judith, our little sheriff, just saved Maggie’s life. Beth’s sister. She was also being heroic and saving someone in general, just as Beth tried to save Noah.

As soon as she’s shot, just as Beth was shot, she goes down, and Daryl bends over here. The major difference here is that Judith is not shot in the head, and Daryl is not assuming she’s dead. He’s just terrified she might die of her injuries.

WE also saw everything go into slow motion, just as at Grady.

WE see Pamela’s reaction, just as we saw Dawn’s.

And they showed other members of TF having terrified reactions to Judith being shot, just as we saw at Grady.

I also think there was a parallel to Rick’s disappearance here. Daryl tells Zeke to throw the fire extinguisher in the air. Fire extinguishers are symbols we’ve pointed at for some time.

But it’s also red, and when Daryl shoots it, it explodes, giving them a way to escape. It’s very similar to Rick firing his gun at the red dynamite on the bridge, which saved the communities from the walker horde. I think there’s a purposeful parallel there.

Then, Daryl just so happens to carry Judith out in the same way he carried Beth. Now, AK said they wanted to equate it with Rick carrying Carl in S2 after he was shot. And given the parental relationship Daryl has with Judith, I think that’s valid. But with all the other Grady parallels, I don’t think we can discount the Beth parallels, either. It’s both.

But we can even go deeper than that. At the beginning, Judith put her (Carl’s/Rick’s) sheriff’s hat on RJ. This was very much a “new sheriff in town” moment. Now, it’s not exact, because the hat was put on Beth in 4x16, and Judith (the Beth character) put it on someone else, but I don’t think the details are super important here.

I mean, it wouldn’t have made sense having someone else give it to Judith because she already had it. The point is, the hat was put on Beth’s head in 4x16, and a few episodes later (5x08) she was shot in the Grady sequence and carried out in Daryl’s arms. Here, Judith put the hat on RJ, and a little later in the same episode, was shot in a very Grady-like sequence, and carried out in Daryl’s arms.

And I suspected (and kind of knew because of the leaked footage) that all of this stuff we’ve seen that’s been a clear repeat of 4b would culminate in a Grady like sequence.

And guys, that’s AWESOME for us. Because it shows that they’re doing repeat sequences to lead up to Beth’s return.

We don’t know for sure if we’ll see Beth in 11x24. I really hope we will, in an after-the-credits coda at least. But if we don’t, it won’t matter all that much to me (other than the usual disappointment). I know there will be those who roll their eyes and leave TD, talking about how we’ve been preaching her return for years and now the show has ended and we’re still holding on.

And okay. I totally get it. But people who say that don’t really understand the story TWD is trying to tell. Beth was never going to return until the CRM storyline came around. Of course we didn’t understand that back in S6, S7, S8, etc. But we’ve learned and understood more as each season progressed. Grady was tied to the CRM, and we know the CRM will be explored in the spinoffs, so either way, we’re looking to those for Beth’s story.

Meanwhile, they’ve done a complete retelling of 4b, right up to and threw the Grady storyline. This, in my mind, is obviously leading up to Beth showing up.

I’m going to do a more in-depth post later this week about the musical coda and how they’re using it here, but just trust me on this, guys. We’re right on track here.

The other thing to ponder is that this simply MUST be a massive clue to what happened with Beth. I mean, in terms of why she was shot. Judith was shot when pushing someone out of the way; trying to save them. Now, Beth wasn’t doing that in a literal way when she was hit, but you could argue that she was confronting Dawn to try and save Noah.

But perhaps more to the point, Judith was shot accidentally. Pam was aiming for someone else (Maggie) and accidentally hit Judith. We still can’t say much about the details of how that happened with Beth, but to me, this is pretty good evidence that she was shot by accident. There were theories about someone trying to shoot Rick in that hallway, because he was a threat. But for me, especially given that the female officer says, “hold your fire. It was just about her,” it seems clear to me that someone at Grady was trying to take out Dawn. They were aiming for her, but hit Beth instead.

Again, because of all the Coda parallels here, this is pretty good proof in my mind that that’s what happened in the hallway of Grady. And even that should bring everyone hope because the showrunners are STILL letting us believe Dawn shot her. If Beth wasn’t coming back and none of this was relevant, they would have explained the ending of Coda to us by now. The fact that they haven’t shows that they’re still planning to at some point.

We even have some of the missing 17 days figured in here. While Daryl is carrying Judith, TF is running around, trying to escape, and ends up surrounded by walkers. Basically the exact thing we think happened with Beth during the missing 17 days, leading to her being left behind. They are even surrounded by chain link fences here, which is very reminiscent of Grady. Grady had the green military tents. Here, we have a different kind of military: the white CW troopers.

So yeah. I’m gonna leave you with that today, but there’s plenty more to say about this episode.

I also want to note that while AK said they would be ending the series very well and tying things up nicely, rather than JUST setting up for the spinoffs, it really isn’t looking that way. I kind of think she was full of it, lol. Maybe they will tie things up nicely the last five minutes of the next episode, but they have a LOT of ground to cover for just one more episode. Lots of action and stuff that still has to happen. So, I’m looking forward to a nice, cliff-hangery set up for the spinoffs.

Also, remember that the final episode won’t be put on the app one week early. So, no one will be seeing it until next Sunday. Can’t wait!

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #BETH IS COMING #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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