#my classes were online but i was often on campus because i had no work space at home

[silverskye13]

Doing my best Etho cosplay today

[deannagrey]

Just Dare Me: Chapter 2 (1/4)

At the top of the New Year, I have a habit of reading old stuff. It's got me nostalgic so I started re-working some scenes from this book. You can read chapter one here.

Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

The dares started last semester when David and I finally accepted we’d be in one another’s lives whether we liked it or not. At the time, only one of his teammates had been dating mine. Now, that count was up to two….almost three if you included Ari’s on-and-off-again thing with a certain wide receiver. Since our group was slowly pairing off, we were often left on the sidelines during nights out.

It didn’t take long for me to realize David was the kind of guy who loved getting a rise out of anyone. He’d made it his mission to find all the wrong buttons to press. Apparently, my responses to him were some of his favorites.

Ari warned me not to engage when she noticed how irritated I got in his presence. But I couldn’t just stand around listening to his contrary nonsense.

“Sure, nihilism has its place in society,” I ranted to Ari and Covee in our kitchen. It might be too early for a philosophical debate, but David’s response to my well-thought-out discussion post had me seething.

After my call with my sister, he’d spend another forty minutes waiting for his clothes to dry. While I typed away on my laptop, he’d been typing away on his phone. It wasn’t until after he left that I realized he’d crafted a lengthy response to my post on hope in a capitalistic society. His response was three times as long as the requirement. He’d picked apart every one of my arguments without so much as an attempt to see my side of things.

“But we’re doomed if we think nothing matters,” I continued.

Ari stood at the breakfast bar, balancing on one leg while her foot rested on her thigh. Covee was at the microwave, trying to avoid eye contact because she didn’t like conflict in the morning.

“Doomed might be a strong word,” Ari disagreed in a calm voice. She sipped her green juice through a metal straw.

“You’re on his side?” I raised a brow, surprised. Ari was Miss. Cool, Calm, and Collected in times of stress. But, she had beliefs. She loved meaning. In her world, things had a purpose. I’d been to too many of her yoga classes, listening about the importance of breath and balance to not know that she believed in purpose.

“No, I’m not on anyone’s side.” She smiled and tossed a curly loc out of her face. “I’m just considering his viewpoint. You know, like you say people should.”

I huffed and grabbed my favorite mug. Covee hurried out of my way with her bowl of oatmeal. I hadn’t reached rampaged levels yet but I was getting close. As the coffee machine hummed, I grabbed a protein bar from the pantry.

“Whatever, I’m over it,” I mumbled.

“Really?” Covee looked surprised as she settled next to Ari at the breakfast bar.

Ari laughed. “No way. She’s outlining a nine-page opposition essay as we speak.”

“I am not.” I turned away from them, pretending to be focused on my brewing coffee so they wouldn’t read the lie in my eyes. How should I open my argument? With something subtle or go right for his jugular?

Jugular. The answer was always jugular.

“God, I wish I was in your class,” Ari mourned. “Witnessing the fights you two have would be worth the hefty credit price tag.”

Ari was the only one of my friends on campus who wasn’t enrolled in school. She’d taken her classes online from her college back home.

Each day Covee and I came back from in-person classes, she got amped on hearing about our campus drama — no matter how big or small.

“I’ll have you know, I’m well-behaved in class,” I promised.

Ari snorted. Covee tried to hide her smile by taking a big bite of food.

“I am. There’s no way I’m letting David Porter make me out to be some raging, argumentative know-it-all. There’s so much more to me than that.”

“Of course there is,” Covee agreed with a sweet smile.

I nodded. “Plus, I have to be on my best behavior because I represent something bigger.”

“Hope?” Ari teased.

“Ha ha.” I made a face. “I’m talking about the Black Women Development Circle. Check this out. Here are this year’s executive board sign-ups.”

I pulled out my phone and scrolled to the photo of our signup sheets. Ari whistled impressed while Covee gave me a round of applause.

“Not exactly overflowing enough so that we have to hold a vote with non-board members but still…I had an actual team this year! And I have a good feeling about them. They’re going to show up and do the work.”

“Oh my God, Yara,” Covee gushed. “That’s incredible. Every spot’s full?”

“Every single one.” My smile widened and my shoulders relaxed at the change in subject. Not talking about David was far better for my health. “Even our social media manager. I won’t have to bug you every weekend for poster designs.”

Covee rolled her eyes at my teasing. “You know I never mind. Besides, designing stuff for you gave me tons of practice and content for my portfolio. It was a win-win.”

“Since that’s the case…” I wiggled my brow. “Could I keep you on call? Just as a backup. No pressure, of course. I know mixing work and friendship is always a little dicey.”

Covee waved away my worries. “I’ll be on call for as long as you need. As far as I’m concerned, I’m your personal graphic designer now and forever.”

I beamed. “You’re the absolute best.”

“So, I’m assuming the ball’s a go?” Ari looked excited about the prospect. “I live for any excuse to dress up.”

“It’s a go--I just have to get a few other orgs on board. My pitch is airtight,” I said. “ I’m talking to a few other presidents next week. I’m planning out venues and entertainment next week with the girls. We’re voting on themes, too.”

“Can I toss gothic into the ring?” Ari asked. “I know a good recipe for a vegan red icing that drips like blood. I can make all the desserts.”

“That’s an option. Sure.” I laughed. “Covee, what about you?”

“Kind of like the idea of a regency ball. Cliche, I know, but for a reason,” she said with a shy smile.

“It’s cute. Classic.” I nodded and typed each of their suggestions into my growing notes list. Before I could relock my phone a text from Mr- Thorn-In-My-Side himself came through.

David: Don’t forget about tonight. A no-show means an automatic forfeit.

I scoffed and responded: I know what it means. I made up the rule. Why don’t you just worry your pretty face about your part of the dare? K?

David: She thinks I’m pretty. I’m blushing.

The thought of David blushing had me shaking my head. Long ago I was convinced because of his energy-sucking powers, he was a vampire and thus, incapable of changing shades.

“Don’t forget an umbrella,” Ari’s warning made me look up from my phone. “Rain’s on the forecast. Your hair looks too good to ruin.”

“Thanks, Mom.” I ran a hand over my Havana twists. They swayed down to my hips. The four-hour installation was more than worth it. I always felt ready for any and everything after my hair got done.

“Alright, ladies, I’m off to conquer the world. Do you need anything while I’m at it?” I poured my coffee from the mug into a travel cup.

“Mm, hearts of enemies make good broth I heard.” Ari winked.

“I’ll take weapons,” Covee decided. “My sculpture elective is killing me. I need something unique to impress my professor.”

“Done and done. Hearts and swords for my soulmates.” I grabbed my bag and the clear umbrella by the door. “I’ll see you guys for dinner. Love you two!”

“Love you!” they said in unison as I stepped out of the door.

[eva-knits12]

Steve Rogers Discovers You're Demisexual

Trigger warning: demisexuality, Steve Rogers, fluff

Summary: You reveal your sexuality to your boyfriend Steve Rogers.

I was making dinner for Steve. I was in Steve's apartment because I wanted to spend the night watching Adam's Rib and Guess Who's Coming To Dinner with him. I was helping Steve adjust to living in the modern world, and I was helping him adjust to being in a modern apartment. I check on the pork chops, and then I'll be cooking the mashed potatoes and the peas and carrots. I would be making ready to bake rolls with it.

Steve and I are taking things slow. I know it's slower than most, and Steve has been nothing but respectful of my boundaries, and he's been nothing but respectful of my feelings. They were still developing and I was still exploring them right now. Steve is giving me nothing but time, and isn't pushing my boundaries. He always asks me if it's okay before we hold hands.

Steve just came home earlier from a long mission. The mission was supposed to take three days, but it extended into weeks. The terrorists were holding women and children hostage, and I've been following it on the news. It's hard to turn my mind off this, with my boyfriend being a soldier. Steve isn't just any soldier, he's Captain America, and he's an Avenger.

Why can't they just release these innocent lives? I wondered a few days into this.

I would be leaving as Tony's receptionist, but I would be working with Comm and Tech. Tony had promoted me, and I was even going back to school for that. So, my life right now was filled with work, training the new receptionist, and school. Steve would often take me on coffee dates, to the movies, and even making sure that I took bathroom breaks, meal breaks, and even made sure that I took the evenings off. Most of my classes were all online, with only two being on-campus. So, things just felt pretty hectic right now.

Steve had just finished showering, and I told him to sleep for a while. He really needed the rest. He arrived back looking haggard, and tired. Steve was exhausted. He had a grown a beard that was only a few weeks old, and to be honest, he looked even sexier with it.

Steve was busy sleeping in his bed, and I was busy cleaning things up. I checked on the pork chops, and they had a ways to go.

Tony always razzes me and Steve for not sleeping with each other yet, even though Steve and I have only been together for nine months. I guess I'm still trying to develop that trust before Steve and I have sex for the first time. Steve has been nothing but respectful of my boundaries. We had only shared our first kiss when Steve left on this mission.

"Come back safe, Steve, my handsome soldier," I say.

"I will, doll," says Steve.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?" asks Steve.

"Yes, Steve, that's okay," I answer.

Steve kisses me lovingly, and it feels right.

Steve and I were taking things slow, and taking our time. I was developing a bond with Steve, and this felt right. I was trusting Steve, and that was building, too. Steve has been nothing but respectful of my boundaries. Steve trusts me with everything. I know he'll never violate my boundaries or push my boundaries for his own gain.

"Can I hold your hand, is that okay?" asks Steve.

"Yes, Steve. You can hold my hand, that's okay," I answered.

Tony was always joking that I was such a prude. I really wasn't.

"Steve, I love you. You've been nothing but respectful of my boundaries. I trust you, and that trust is growing," I say.

"I love you, too, doll," says Steve.

"I know that we haven't had sex, yet," I say.

"I know. I'm really saving myself for someone special, who's just as special to me as Peggy was," says Steve.

"Are you saving yourself because of religious reasons?" asks Steve.

"No, it's nothing like that," I say.

"Did you have a childhood where someone touched you inappropriately, because if someone did that to you..." says Steve,

"No, not exactly," I say.

"Then what is it?" asks Steve.

"Steve, I'm demisexual. It has nothing to do with religion, I'm an agnostic. It has nothing to do with my childhood," I say.

"Oh, so what does demisexual mean? I've never heard of that, and I would love nothing more than to help you navigate this," says Steve.

"It just means that I need to develop an emotional connection and I need to develop a bond with a partner. I need to trust my partner completely before I can even have sex with my partner. Before we even have sex, I need to have that emotional connection and that mental connection with them," I say.

"Doll, you're doing great. I understand where you're coming from, and I will wait for us to make love. I really want our first time to be beautiful, meaningful, full of love, and I really want to wait for the right time," says Steve.

"Steve, I trust you. You've been nothing but a gentlemen, and I need that right now. You've respected my boundaries, and you haven't pushed me to do anything that I don't want to do right now," I say.

"Doll, come here," says Steve.

"Is it okay if I hug you and just hold you for a while right now?" asks Steve.

"Yes, Steve, that's okay," I tell Steve.

Steve pulls me into a hug, and just wraps his arms around me. This feels okay. In fact, it feels even better, because I was telling Steve all about my sexuality. The more I told him, and the more we discussed it, the better I felt.

"Doll, don't listen to Tony. I know he's your boss, and you have to play nice, you're not wrong. You're sexuality isn't wrong. Doll, there's nothing wrong with you, I'll wait until you're ready," says Steve.

I feel so much better, getting everything out in the open. Dinner is ready, and we eat our pork chops, mashed potatoes and veggies.

Steve puts on one of his favorite songs, and we just slow dance in his apartment. This feels perfect.

[sabakos]

I tried to find out if Derrida had ever responded to the open letter where several analytic philosophers requested that Cambridge not award him an honorary degree on the basis that his work was nonsense, and found this instead:

In 1990, Derrida signed an agreement to donate his scholarly papers to [UC Irvine], where he taught part time. But after his death in 2004, Derrida’s heirs began questioning the pact. The university tried to negotiate, then sued three months ago, a maneuver that outraged professors in California and beyond.

Oh huh, that sounds pretty serious. Wonder what that was about...

According to multiple sources, Derrida wanted UCI to halt its investigation of a Russian studies professor, Dragan Kujundzic, who was accused of sexually harassing a 25-year-old female doctoral student. So he tried to use his archives as leverage to derail the case, they said. UCI officials declined to comment on Derrida’s letter or Kujundzic last week. But court records from a lawsuit filed by the doctoral student might fill in some of the gaps. The 2004 sexual harassment lawsuit contends that Kujundzic, who taught a popular class on vampires and signed his e-mails with a colon to symbolize Dracula bite marks, used his position as the student’s advisor to manipulate her into a series of sexual encounters.

Well, that's certainly an ethics violation at least, which at least ought to be grounds for dismissal if the allegations could be proven. Unfortunately for Derrida, there wasn't much plausible deniability.

Kujundzic, 47, who left Irvine in 2005 for a job at the University of Florida, told campus investigators the fling was “voluntary and consensual.” The student said she felt coerced to engage in sex or risk having her academic career ruined.

But of course it gets worse. The letter Derrida wrote to UCI's chancellor itself was online until recently, because some of Derrida's colleagues were somehow under the impression that this would help "clear things up" with regards to how Derrida has been misrepresented by the LA times.

These are some highlights of what Derrida's supporters thought would make him look favorable.

I will begin by making it unequivocally clear that I fully approve the principles of all rules meant to prevent, or even to repress, the kinds of behavior defined in the United States as “sexual harassment.” In their principle, these laws seem to me just and useful. But everyone knows that, in practice, they can give rise to applications that are abusive, capricious, or even perverse and deceitful—often devastating for the person, reputation, and career of those who are unjustly victimized by frequently malevolent maneuvers and sometimes by judicial errors.

I have especially heard said that, without even envisaging all sorts of intermediary stages, the provision of a whole range sanctions or warnings, a recommendation has already been made to apply the worst possible sanction of last resort: the exclusion of our colleague from UCI. Why has such a precipitous action been considered? Why go so quickly and so far?

The truth is this:  if the scandalous procedure initiated against Dragan Kujundzic were not to be interrupted or cancelled, for all the reasons I have just laid out, if a sanction of whatever sort were allowed to sully both his honor and the honor of the university, I would sadly be obliged to put an end, immediately, to all my relations with UCI.  The somber and tragic hypothesis of such transgressions (which I wish still to exclude) would mean, quite obviously, that I would neither attend nor participate in the widely international conference in October that is devoted to me and was organized, precisely, by Dragan.

So in addition to both rebutting good faith attempts at engage with his "work" by Searle and others, and subsequently ignoring all other future negative reviews and criticisms, he apparently found the time to try to throw his weight around the UC system to get them to drop an investigation into his colleague, despite said colleague admitting guilt! And UC Irvine, for their own lack of taste or seriousness, still maintains his archive up until 1998, while the last six years of Derrida's life are presumably still held by his estate.

[femmesandhoney]

I don't wanna have to be a feminist.

I don't know how to explain this but like I didn't contribute to women's oppression, I'm a victim of it so why is it on me to solve an Issue I didn't create in the first place.

I'm just so tired. I'm so jealous of men, they can just do whatver they want, but everything I may do or say is scrutinized and seen a as a statement.

Ugh I just idk at this point I feel like trying to survive in a patriarchal society is easier than trying to enact change .

I feel like there's this pressure on me like if I'm not a feminist then I'm a gender traitor of some ssorts which I guess isn't totally wrong but like I didn't ask to be a woman I didn't choose this.

Long post warning! I don't wanna put any of this under a cut so deal with it and scroll if you don't wanna read lmao

Sorry for the wait for the response I've been a bit tired this week from the surgery and my school work. And not gonna lie I've just been doing a lot of reading for my peace studies class so my perspectives on complacency is a bit skewed right now towards dislike. In the drama of peace studies and peace leaders, you'd honestly be looked at as a bit of a coward. I mean, really? Everyone knows it's easier to just stick with the status quo, when has change ever been easy, especially social changes and fights against oppression and the misogyny that's so deeply rooted in our cultures. Of course it's not fucking easy. Of course there's times it feels bleak.

My favorite professor once asked us if any of us had been to one of the local protests that had happened. None of us raised our hands. She looked a bit shocked as she took in the fact that in a class of roughly 30 adults, all working on moving final projects all semester about commemorative practices about deeply horrible oppressive governments, genocides, and wars, that none of us could even find the strength to go to a local protest. She asked if any of us usually go to protests or supportive demonstrations at all, ever. Again, no one raised a hand. She said, "none of you are activists?" and we all sort of looked around a bit embarrassed. If she were to ask this question a few decades ago, hell the 70s were a moving time to be on a college campus especially, you'd never guess the state of so many college students nowadays being so uninterested in social movements and social changes. So many of us look at the strives we've made in recent decades and go "that's enough for me, I'm content with that" or "I'm tired, no one is listening" or just plain old "why bother?".

And here's the thing: not everyone is an activist. I'm sure not, I find other ways to support women and don't often enjoy large gatherings just because my city isn't the safest. To be a feminist you have a multitude of options and ways to engage with feminism than standing in a group waving a sign, though that's a very important area of social change too and it's important to recognize when it's time to stand together openly and go "listen to us".

You say women are always scrutinized and that everything we say is taken as a political statement, which online at least is often true. We can't necessarily escape people viewing everything we do and say online as neutral, some people just have distorted ideas about others. I would try to remind yourself that the internet is full of dumbasses and you know better than strangers what's in your heart. But at the same time, if you're engaging in political speak and movements, there will be times your own behavior and statements will be reflected back on you for good or bad. It's just up to you how you feel about yourself. I personally think no one is a perfect feminist, there's always gonna be something that another could call you out for. So same can be said for those who try to scrutinize your every statement or move. At the end of the day, what matters is how much you understand and care about feminism and the women in the world and do you actually try?

Trying will look different for everyone. In our peace studies class, we're talking about how peace is not an easy and straight forward process and that while the goal is peace, you shouldn't get so bogged down by the end goal that you ignore or ruin the path to get there. In most cases, reaching a pure feminist world is not likely in our life time, which is why it's necessary for us to engage in female consciousness raising, creating for and leaving behind theory and books and evidence and music and art for our friends and daughters and sisters and grandchildren and women we'll never know. In our daily lives, do we try? Do we live in a way that reduces the harm that patriarchy and a male dominated culture has had on us? Do you not wear makeup, wear comfortable clothing, speak kindly to yourself when you look at your own reflection in the mirror, do you workout and take care of yourself, do you speak to your female family and friends, do you watch and engage with female created media and art, do you love and have hobbies, do you donate to women's charities and shelters, do you work with women in your jobs and how do you treat and support them, do you make sure the world is safe for the girls and women in your communities by voting in local elections, do you go to protests and board meetings and engage politically with feminism, do you share feminist theory with others, do you read the news and stay informed about world affairs especially vital towards transnational feminism, do you try?

You're right none of us chose to be born women into a world that wants to kick us down at every chance. With that mentality, though, you're only gonna depress yourself. There's more to feminism than sadness and despair, you're just looking at it from the wrong angle. The pressure to be a feminist isn't on any one individual, but you gain the benefits of trying to live a life in a way that recognizes the harm a male dominated culture has on us as per many of the examples above. I'm not sure who you feel is pressuring you, whether that be people online or just yourself, there's not necessarily a wrong way to be a feminist if you just fucking try. Trying is literally more than enough, but not trying at all makes someone a complacent coward. To look at the world and to see for what it is and not even feel the urge to go, "fuck it, I'm at least gonna live my best life in spite of that" is one of the most un-feminist things ever, yeah. I wouldn't call you a gender traitor unless you're up there touting conservative traditional ideology bullshit, but I'd say you need to connect to yourself and the women around you more. You're in a headspace where feminism rests solely on you and that unless you're out in the streets with a mic you're not doing enough, which is far from what many people are doing anyways. Do we need more active groups? Yeah, for sure. But right now the climate is difficult. Right now it seems the work is laying more foundation towards class consciousness and feminist theory and undoing the harm so much liberal feminist theory has wrought. Go support local charities and shelters, go hang out with your friends, go shop at a women run store, go just interact with the women in your life and try to center them and yourself. None of us want to be fighting for our damn rights, but that's not the end goal of feminism either.

To steal from peace studies theory, negative peace is just the absence of war. Positive peace is the absence of war and any and all oppressive institutions, violence, and is considered a "just" society. In my eyes, feminism is sort of like that. A negative feminism is just the absence of the patriarchy, or in terms of liberal feminism, a society in which men and women are equals. Positive feminism would be a society in which there's no patriarchy and where men and women are not just equals, but that women can live their lives to the fullest, where women are not bogged down by gender roles and norms and sexist institutions, where women are encouraged to love and befriend each other and not focus on men, where women aren't just legally equals, but are fundamentally happy and afforded opportunities to live rich and fulfilling lives apart from men. That's the end goal of feminism, really. Many of the examples I raised are to lead women down the path towards that positive feminism as well as negative, since both are vital for women in the long run.

Anyways, I love you anon and you're not a gender traitor for being tired. It points to you needing to go look for some peace and happiness. We all grow weary if we spend all our time huddled in the dark trying to picture the light instead of just stepping outside and seeing the sun.

[entrevista-para-clase]

Chicanx Latinx Oral History Project: Mex2025

  Arianna Michaud  |  May 6, 2024  |  ANTH 3140  |  Spring 2024

 Through my talks with the collaborator of this work, he discussed his journey from being ashamed of his culture and experiencing citizenship difficulties which fostered feelings of loneliness to experiencing community and being proud of his heritage. This experience is reflected in many other Mexican individuals in the United States. 

    My collaborator identifies as Mexican as opposed to Latino, Hispanic, or Chicano. As a result and per his request to remain anonymous, I've chosen to list his pseudonym as Mex2025- his identity followed by the year he graduates college. I interviewed Mex2025 on March 28, 2024 in the College of Visual Arts and Design on University of North Texas' campus. 

Mex2025 is a 31 year old man born in Monterrey, Nuevo Léon. He moved to Dallas but visited family in Mexico frequently. It was only when his younger sister, the first United States citizen in the family, was born 2 year old Mex2025 alongside his family stopped visiting Mexico. They moved to Carrollton, Texas when Mex2025 was in preschool. In total, Mex2025 has 4 sisters, the youngest of which being 13 at the time of this writing. 

Throughout his childhood, Mex2025 struggled to learn to speak English until the 4th grade. He spent his early years ashamed of being Hispanic and often avoided disclosing his ethnicity or national heritage. This avoidance originated in the second grade, when Mex2025 was shamed by a peer for not knowing how to spell house in English. This, alongside seeing another child experience ridicule for the aromatic food he was eating, caused Mex2025 to not want to eat his mother's food and as a result was closer to his father. Being the only sibling without United States citizenship and the only one to struggle with English, Mex2025 felt abnormal even within his own family.  Despite these struggles, Mex2025 didn't report a bad school experience. He had friends to hang out with one he grasped the English language and participated in online gaming communities from the age of 6. 

    One of those communities was Runescape. Through the game, he was able to meet people of varying nationalities and ages. About his experience on Runescape, Mex2025 said the following:

"I met two friends, Patrick, Pat, and I don’t remember his little brother’s name. But they were both Korean American and that’s kind of how I got into this huge aspect of my life. Kind of growing up with a lot of Korean culture and living in Carrollton, being in the Koreatown. So I mean like yeah, it did affect my school a lot but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get any good out of it."

Mex2025 played Runescape throughout middle school, until it became a problem academically. In high school, Mex2025 developed a passion for art and had dreams of being a museum curator. Unfortunately, he saw another artistically gifted student get their full ride to a prestigious art college revoked because "he was like [Mex2025]. He was undocumented." This experience alongside discouragement from his father, who wanted Mex2025 to go into business, led to Mex2025 giving up on academics.

It was only when Mex2025 joined the Academic Decathlon that he experienced an explicitly positive personal academic experience.  The teacher's confidence in Mex2025's ability to perform as an A student despite being a C student motivated him to start trying and subsequently receive a large number of medals and awards. After high school, Mex2025 attended community college. Due to his undocumented status, Mex2025 couldn’t work and instead had to rely on his parents for college payments. About the financial situation, Mex2025 said “I felt, I felt like a huge burden. I felt terrible. I felt awful. So I just dropped out after two years.” Once he could legally work in 2013 thanks to DACA, Mex2025 slowly started saving up to continue his education. From 2010 to 2020, he took classes here and there as he could afford them. The increase of classes online due to COVID allowed Mex2025 to commit more fully to college coursework. 

In between leaving college to avoid parental financial burden and the passing of DACA, Mex2025 learned Korean from a textbook he bought inspired by his friends who were attending 4 year institutions. Mex2025 utilized language exchange programs to speak with others in Korean and found it to be an overall positive experience. This language proficiency alongside his Spanish and English knowledge allowed Mex2025 job opportunities in translation and with Korean companies. 

In 2021 Mex2025 joined a highly competitive program at UNT in which there is a small cohort of students that all take the same major courses. This fostered a classroom community that helped Mex2025 have the social support he needed in times of uncertainty due to his DACA paperwork being delayed. Currently, he does freelance work and will be interning over the summer. 

To transcribe this work, I played the hour long audio recording and typed what I heard as I listened. Once that was complete, I printed the transcript and highlighted common themes in different colored highlighters. The themes are as follows: childhood, educational struggles, art, negative and positive emotions regarding education, immigration, DACA, Korean culture, identity, pride, shame, labels, learning English and Korean, and technology. These themes helped me to further understand Mex2025’s experience in the tapestry of other experiences had by undocumented and Latinx students. 

Immigration issues have been a stressor in Mex2025’s life since he was a child, from visiting Mexico to losing his job due to DACA delay. Despite this additional barrier, Mex2025 has been able to claim vast accomplishments and continues to amass them. The USAmerican collective idea of a Mexican immigrant is vastly separated from reality 

Benedict Anderson’s idea of imagined community amongst the Latinx community is seen here through Mex2025’s pride in his nationality and therefore community he feels with other Mexican people despite not knowing them personally. 

Hispanic was created as a catch all term for Latinx, Puerto Rican, Mexican, and other people from Central America. Mex2025’s rejection of that term avoids assumption and bolsters his pride in his community. 

Bibliography

Alicia Ivonne Estrada. 2021. “11. (Re)Claiming Public Space and Place: Maya Community Formation in Westlake/MacArthur Park.” New York University Press EBooks, August, 146–56. https://doi.org/10.18574/nyu/9781479805198.003.0012.

Lisa Marie Cacho. 2011. “Racialized Hauntings of the Devalued Dead.” Duke University Press EBooks, January, 25–52. https://doi.org/10.1215/9780822394075-002.

Oboler, Suzanne. 2021. “5. Disposable Strangers: Mexican Americans, Latinxs, and the Ethnic Label ‘Hispanic’ in the Twenty- First Century.” New York University Press EBooks, August, 67–80. https://doi.org/10.18574/nyu/9781479805198.003.0006.

[princessazalea17]

Long Vent

Post/Reflection: College and Loneliness

I just saw this post on Reddit and wanted to give my reflection. I am a recent graduate from UCI, and I can deeply relate to this post. Although I didn’t go through hookups nor can I relate to the substance abuse part (I tried edible cannabis and vaping once, didn’t do much for me, plus I stay away due to health reasons), I can say that for the most part, although UCI is a very beautiful campus, and Irvine itself is one of the safest places to live, the courses kicked my ass my first year, I didn’t form a lot of long-term connections like I thought I would, and I felt very disconnected from the campus culture, and I feel like COVID also played a part in this.

I used to view college through the rose-colored glasses that freshman me used to wear— I was expecting my college experience to be like on a Netflix show, doing so many fun things with my big, happy college friend group. I have had my share of groups, but many of them did not last longer than a quarter, and a lot of my friendships felt very superficial, when I was seeking genuine connection. After your first year, it becomes very difficult to form new connections. My first year, it felt like I had a huge amount of people that I could talk to. By year four, I often found myself clinging to people, using work as a social outlet, and feeling constantly depressed, and I lost a lot of friends, or more-so acquaintances whom I thought I had a closer bond with than what was really there. As a result, I often tend to isolate myself due to fear of rejection, after making the mistake of inserting and forcing myself into spaces where I am not wanted.

I put in the effort to get involved in many different campus organizations, and ended up finding three that I felt like I was a part of, but as of today, most of the people I talk to are the people I knew from high school. My biggest problem with the campus culture is how everyone is friendly in the fall, then all of a sudden the environment shifts and becomes more closed off by the winter quarter. I talk to less than five people from my university that I met. After graduating, my phone has never been drier.

I have had my fair share of parties, but I felt miserable in most of them, especially going alone and not knowing anyone. A lot of people would bond by smoking weed and drinking together, and I felt very left out since I didn’t do either. The same can be said with club meetings. I had better experiences in the hobby-based clubs than I did the social clubs, especially the smaller ones, since they were more intimate and the board members made an effort to include everyone.

I did take summer classes twice- once in person, and once online. My final quarter was in the summer, and I can say that without a doubt that was my best quarter, because it felt like I had less pressure placed on me, and I spent the time working on bettering myself. The campus was emptier too, which meant not feeling as left out. Plus, I got to live in a great apartment with great utilities and air conditioning.

Course-wise, I got poor grades my first and second year due to the STEM weed out classes. I got a lot of Cs, and I failed a few classes and had to repeat them, despite me taking these same courses in high school (hello, Advanced Placement). The lab course, which has one of the most hated teachers on campus teaching it, was one of the worst courses I have ever taken on campus, despite it being online when I took it. By my third year, I ended up changing majors because I couldn’t afford to keep having to pay for summer session tuition or take a fifth year for undergrad. A lot of professors made exams challenging on purpose to weed out the students who only studied by memorizing (myself included), and a lot of the exam averages were C scores. Some classes had it worse, where exam averages were so low that students had to rely on very generous grading curves to pass the class.

Of course, there were also things about campus that I appreciated, other than the beauty, security, and convenience of living in a college town. I miss my job and my coworkers. I miss the communities that I felt I was a part of. I miss the free concerts and guest speaker events.

[skypancake]

fall 22 + why i started this blog

it’s a bittersweet time as the semester comes to an end, the profs i didn’t like i’m happy i don’t have to do any more work for them, but on the other hand the ones i do like i don’t get to be in their class anymore ;-; or i suppose i could take their class again, but it doesn’t really make sense to, you know? one of my profs is retiring, and preferred we write good things about her on rmp lol

next semester should be interesting, 15 units, i’m taking physics, psych, history, and comp sci. i wasn’t able to get them all online like i’d wanted to, so i’ll have to expend some gas, but maybe i’ll actually see some friends more often now that i’m on campus. should i get a board? i don’t know how much sense it makes considering i’m not on campus all day, i’d probably wanna get new shoes too, then, considering i feel i should know at least some tricks, and i don’t wanna tear my canvas shoes as is

i think my parents think that by pursuing a cs major i’ve an innate interest in the subject, which isn’t necessarily true. i mean, i don’t hate it, but i don’t have a passion for this craft, either. my actual goal career-wise is to own a/multiple successful business(es), and i’m told comp sci is a useful skill across many disciplines, while you’ll learn more by actually doing business than looking at it from an outside perspective, possibly the instructor being a dinosaur who doesn’t know a thing about what they’re teaching. but yeah, my mum pulled me over and showed me the microsoft teams and other shit she was doing, i think she and my dad are trying to set up my mind into the idea that i’ll be working for someone else my entire life, a pitfall i’m doing my best not to fall into. if money’s tight i’ll give in to the traditional system, but my time is mine. i own it, and i’d rather not sell it to somebody else

i made a topic change for my final essay in english 10 days before the semester’s ending, but seeing as i got more research done in 3 hours compared to less in 4 with my other topic it should hopefully be that much better, i guess this topic just speaks to me more. one of the other ideas was based on bo burnham’s “welcome to the internet” delving into how the internet has changed people, but that might be too broad/specific a topic considering i couldn’t find anything about that specifically (like comparing the 80s-90s to now), though i might’ve also just been using the wrong keywords. another i just thought of was how negative the american news is, don lemon looks like he’s dying, and all these awful stories combined with the negativity bias and availability heuristic can make taint the image of the world in someone’s eyes, this is an idea stolen from jarvis johnson, i don’t remember which video. unrelated, but he also mentions at some point while giving advice to somebody (about relationships?), to not be burdened with the present or past if things went south, because something way better could be right around the corner. i also couldn’t find which video this was

another one of my profs is the whole reason i started this blog, she had a survey at he end of every week asking how we were doing and the like, which i absolutely poured my heart into with thoughts and stories, and her compliment of they being engaging and such inspired me to possibly put these things out there for more people to see. whether they do or don’t is fine, i write these things in a google doc for myself anyway

i am wondering how to publish things like poetry or short stories though, is tumblr the right platform to do that? i would assume the platform itself matters somewhat, idk 

[second-star-to-motunui]

Excuse me, do you mind doing headcanons about the first years (Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel and Sebek (and Grim if you want to add him to the mix)) with Autistic Yuu? Because I read the one with the Housewardens before and I was wondering if you could try doing the same with the others.

Yuu is Autistic! Pt 2

✨Feat. The First Years; Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Jack Howl, Epel Felmier and Sebek Zigvolt.✨

How do the first years react to Yuu’s stims, sensory issues and behaviors?

They/Them pronouns for reader. MC is referred to as Yuu.

Autism to Autism communication

Ace probably didn’t even know what autism was until he learned it from Yuu. He takes all those Are You Autistic? quizzes online because huh, he does a lot of the things they do too, should probably get that checked out—

Ace acts like he doesn’t care but he LOVES it when Yuu is rambling about their interests to him. He gets lowkey jealous if they ramble to anyone else.

Flamingo feathers feel nice! Ace always brings a few to Yuu after tending to the birds so they can have the Good Sensory. If Ace notices Yuu getting restless or overwhelmed in class he’ll casually slide a flamingo feather or a stim toy over to them to calm down. Luckily, Crewel also knows of Yuu’s autism otherwise he’d think Ace was passing notes.

“Hey, prefect! Guess what I got? Tada! A box of feathers just for you! The flamingos started molting today so I saved some for ya! Hehe, you look pretty cute playing with ‘em—I MEAN, I DIDN’T SAY CUTE—“

Deuce finds out about Yuu’s autism on accident. While working on his blastcycle, Deuce turned the motor on without warning and it startled Yuu so bad they covered their ears and started crying. Deuce felt HORRIBLE he had no idea a loud noise would upset them so much.

Luckily for him, Trey came to the rescue and comforted Yuu. Deuce gets all the advice he can from Trey so he can be more careful in the future.

Deuce personally buys a pair of noise canceling headphones from Sam’s store for Yuu. That way they can protect their sensitive ears on this campus full of rowdy boys.

Something he loves to do with Yuu is studying. They have a hard time focusing so he’s happy to be a support for them. Even if they both get distracted.

“Hey! Keep it down over there, will ya?! Are you alright, prefect? Here, put your headphones on. Let’s do that breathing thing Trey taught me, ok? In for four seconds… hold for seven seconds… out for eight seconds…”

Jack knows very well of Yuu’s autism. They’re always playing with the fur on his and Leona’s tails because of the fluffy texture. He spends a lot of time with Yuu clinging to his tail or playing with it like a kitten.

He loves the happy sounds Yuu makes when they’re playing with his tail! It makes his tail wag and that just makes them happier.

If Yuu has an oral fixation, Jack is always worried about if they’re stimming safely. If he picks up on any lip or nail biting, he’ll give them some gum to chew on instead. He’s currently saving money to get Yuu a sensory chew toy necklace so they aren’t harming their mouth or teeth.

One time a bunch of guys tried to sneak up on Yuu while they were playing with grass and scare them, knowing full well it would result in them crying hysterically. All it took was one intimidating look from Jack to send those bastards running.

“Hm? What’s the bone for? Oh, I chew on them to strengthen my teeth. Plenty of beastmen do it. No, you’re gonna hurt your teeth it you bite this, Yuu. Stick to your teether, ok?”

Epel once heard Yuu bluntly tell Vil that all the makeup in the world couldn’t hide what a rude, awful person he was on the inside. He has been in love ever since. Just like Deuce, Epel is often making sure Yuu has their noise canceling headphones when they’re around loud places. If Yuu gets anxious or overwhelmed by crowds, Epel is quick to lead them away and help them calm down.

Epel adores hand flapping! It warms his heart to see Yuu flap their hands when they’re excited, happy, or just because they want to. They remind him of a butterfly!

Epel notices that Yuu tends to mouth off more when they’re in a bad mood. That usually lead to trouble so, if he sees his friend is in a mood he’ll leave them little treats and trinkets he knows will make them happy.

A few of the apple products made by Epel’s family become some of Yuu’s same foods. Whenever he gets a shipment, they’re the first to get some delicious treats! Grim can wait, you just ate you are NOT starving.

“What’s that face for? Oh, that apple was too soft? Ugh, the apples in the lunchroom aren’t that good anyway. C’mon, ah got plenty’o better tastin’ ones that are crisper and not as squishy. You’ll love ‘em!”

Autism to Autism Communication Part 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Honestly, he might be a bit too intense for Yuu. Especially after the way he yelled at them for touching Malleus’s horns for the Good Sensory bumps on them. He’s just mad because he wants to touch the horns too but Malleus won’t let him.

But, after a firm scolding from Lilia and Silver, Sebek tries to be more cautious about how he behaves around Yuu… He just stands there absolutely silent and stares at them while they do their thing. It’s terrifying.

Eventually he realizes they’re a pretty decent person to ramble to! They are a simple human that takes interest in the Great Malleus Draconia after all, so they’re the perfect person to ramble about the great mage to! When they actually manage to pay attention that is lol

“HUMAN! Don’t dilly-dally, you’ll be late for cla—oh, oh right, inside voice! My deepest apologies! Mhm…. …. …. Hm? Master Malleus allowed you to touch his horns?! Again?! *sigh* You have no idea how lucky you’ve got it, dear human…”

[occasionaloneshots]

2020s Cullen Kids

A fast forward of Canon (So this includes J*sper and Renesmee)

So, obviously the way that 2020 changed the world would have to change the Cullens too, it’s hard to keep the “lifestyle” they had in a world like this.

They’re still using their family ruse, but they had to change it because people were getting more suspicious (in 2014 they had to move prematurely because they were being investigated as a cult)

Ditched wearing the Cullen crest

Now Alice and Bella are posing as the youngest members of the family joining new towns as juniors (and since they are a younger looking 18 and 19, posing as a 17 year old isn’t hard for them), Edward and Rosalie are high school seniors, and Emmet and Jasper (arguably the oldest looking) are college freshmen.

Emmett and Jasper don’t technically live with the, (Emmett in a frat house and Jasper in a single person dorm on campus) so they just pose as the college boyfriends of their wives (they do spend a lot of time in the current Cullen house however)

They claim that Alice is Esme’s niece that they took in after her mother passed (which makes adopting someone that close to her age possible) Edward is posing in the same way but from Carlisle. They claim that Rose is Carlisle’s younger sister (a truly tragic background that their oldest sister and mother died in a car crash together is how they pass off Carlisle having custody of both of them.They’re so good at faking being worked up as they tell the story that people stopped questioning it)

Bella however, is the oddball. She still claims to be a foster child of the family, being brought to them after being taken from an abusive mother and people find that part odd but they decide to accept it (She only refers to them as “Mr. and Mrs. Cullen” or “My foster parents” to try and seal the deal)

Due to the situation with Nessie, despite the fact that she’s physically mature (gross) and actually the age of a highschooler, Esme and Edward made the executive decision to keep her at home for her safety (and theirs in all honesty)

Esme has been homeschooling Renesmee so that she could be educated to the point of someone her age (As of the 2019/2020 school year, Renesme was in her eight grade year online)

Renesmee is more of the oddball of the family, not feeling as close to their bitterness towards immortality, their craving of romance, or their attachment to religion (not that all of them are in that bubble) honestly, I think she probably came out to them as aroace or something along that line (I’m anti Renesmee in any romantic setting)

The start of the 2020/2021 school year followed a new move, the Cullens all opted for online classes (to avoid temperature checks) and they had to actually furnish the new house in a way that made them look more human (including giving them actual bedrooms, which they were all furnished by the person who lives in them. Bella and Rosalie’s fake rooms are the cosiest places you’ll ever see)

After the 2014 incident, the Cullens no longer stick to just themselves, Emmett is in a fraternity and Jasper is on the debate team (Take that as you will). Alice has joined the art club, Bella is a part of the yearbook committee. Rosalie actually cheers and she loves it (Emmett goes to the highschool football and basketball games to watch her, she’s a base). Edward isn’t in a club, but he takes a yearly piano class and sometimes joins the school paper so that he can stay after the same time as Bella.

When the school has art club sales, Alice is the first to sign up to work it (she often illustrates her visions for it, they sell well). She often works on projects for it while sitting with Esme if not physically in the club. It makes their bond feel stronger.

Rose is amazing at cheer and absolutely adores being part of a team. They don’t make her feel “shallow” in the way Edward has in the past. They can talk about their boyfriends and getting nails and just be teenage girls. After the way that she chose to grow up too early as a teenager, it’s nice to just be a teenage girl now.

Bella actually joined yearbook with Angela’s photography in mind. She’s really close with a girl in the class who reminds her a lot of her old friend.

I’d like to believe that Alice and Rose are actually pretty popular (and I’d like to think that Rose is the nice type of popular now that she has a place that she doesn’t feel suffocated by her immortality)

Rose and Emmett love getting to play the role of being a new young relationship, it brings her so much joy and he loves to show her off to his frat brothers

By this point everyone is bored of dressing however Alice dresses them and they all have their own aesthetics (I’ll touch on that later)

They even invite friends over now, the house has to be better at faking it but it gives them something to do. It gives Esme a reason to cook which excites her and allows Renesmee to talk to people other than her family (When asked, they claim she’s Bella’s sister who is homeschooled due to problems with bullying in her last school)

Despite what they previously thought, the Cullens can actually live in a place for a while using this ruse, Carlisle starting up as an intern and Esme selling art out of their house.They claim the majority of their money came from inheritance after the passing of Carlisle’s mother.

Because they’re actually making real friends, when Rose and Emmett eventually have another wedding they have guests who just adore the fact that they were together for so long. (Alice/Jasper and Edward/Bella also often remarry for fun too now that they have friend groups to invite) They all love playing around with new themes

They can normally stay in town for a decade but they tend to stay for closer to eight years than a full ten.

Renesmee and Rosalie keep bullet journals, they sit together in Renesmee’s room to work on them (It was Renesmee’s idea, she thought it would be a good idea so they could remember the year in the future. Slowly Rose’s mood tracker is becoming more positive)

Alice’s notes are the “typical white girl” colorful notes, she also color codes her classes

Of course they often have a few people who find them suspicious (Especially because of Edward/Bella) but no one thinks they’re a cult anymore soo…

Okay so when it comes to fashion and bedroom headcanons

Starting with Alice

This might be a hot take, but I think that Alice would be into extensions or wigs. Not that she’s against her short hair, I just think she’s the type to get bored of her own appearance

On top of all the clothing and makeup trends, people are jealous of her closet and vanity

She doesn’t have a completely set aesthetic but she does fit the bubble of “Aesthetic”.

Part indie, part basic, part visco, part prep

Really into press on nails

Wears a ton of different patterns, especially on pants and dresses

Really into jewelry (Gold > silver type of person)

Gets dress coded constantly

Has one of those photo collage walls in her room.

Has an oil diffuser

Rosalie

First things first, she loves her cheer uniform, she loves game days

Her outfits are sorta, insta model for a lack of better word. Trendy but not in the same way that Alice is

Often has her hair down, if not it’s in her cheer ponytail or little pieces are pulled back

Loves that Y2K trends came back, especially butterfly clips and lowrise jeans

Gets her nails done with the cheer squad

Has one of those cute couple rings with Emmett

Not big into makeup, loves lipgloss though. She’s at the point where she collects it

Candle collector

Loves throw pillows, has a few stuffed animals from Emmett on her bed

Keeps a lot of highlighters and fineliners in jars on her desk

Bella

So, Bella has gone back to human Bella style outfits

She’s not really into accessories but she is into layering (however, she and Renesmee have matching bff necklaces that Renesmee picked out one time and she won’t take it off)

Her style is somewhere between soft grunge and artsy

Mom jeans and flannels are her go tos (though flannels always were)

Big into converse

Doesn’t wear makeup really ever. Alice does talk her into it for picture days though

Carries backpacks instead of purses

Has a pair of Doc Martens, she adores them

Really into graphic tees of plants

Now that she’s a vampire she can actually keep a plant alive so she has multiple in her room (Renesmee calls her a plant mom)

Scrunchie collection and always has her hair up somehow

Room is normally some-what dark

Renesmee

Best friend necklace that matches Bella’s that she picked out (around the mental age of 6)

Wears a lot of colors, her style falls between alt and kid core

Loves accessories especially clay rings and chunky necklaces

Often will wear two shoes of the same type but different colors (Pink and black demonias, yellow and blue converse, etc.)

Owns a fair amount of platforms

She’s basically trying to claim her childhood since she barely had one due to the speed aging

Does that little bead thing with her shoe laces

Really into colorful makeup, Alice taught her how to do it.

This aesthetic even stretches onto her sleepwear

Love pastel colors

Bedroom is equally as colorful as her clothing

She loves stuffed animals, collects them

Has a AroAce pride flag tagged to her ceiling

Edward

Edward dresses somewhere between light academia and soft boy

He is not letting go of his khakis, no one could pry them from his hands, ever

Leans more to light neutrals and blues in his clothing

Loves graphic tees with old paintings on them

Sweater vest and white button up fan

He’s probably the type of guy who would thin framed glasses even though he doesn’t need glasses

Wears those long coats in shades of brown

White turtlenecks

Doc marten loafers

Wears his wedding band even though he and Bella are only posing as a dating

Refuses to wear any other jewelry

Room is really basic, his teacher once asked if he was in a hotel during a zoom call

Jasper

He still lets Alice pick out his clothes, clothing shopping isn’t something he wants to do

Basically Alice’s dark academia ken doll

Opposite of Edward, he does wear jewelry, mainly rings and a single thin chain that holds a small locket. (Alice has put a picture of herself in it)

My best guess hair wise is eclipse, maybe he pulls up part of it halfway

Never ears sweater vests, Alice isn’t really into them

His dorm is really bland, barely decorated past the move in furniture

Completely stocked bookshelf and a fully decorated desk though

Emmett

Okay, this guy isn’t a jock, he’s too scared that he may hurt someone on the field

But he dresses like a jock

Half of his closet is just plain white tee shirts (he once was in a wet tee shirt contest but that’s not what this is about)

Owns so many shirts and sweatshirts with his school on them (Rose has at least three of these in her closet at any given time)

Graphic tees

Matching couple rings with Rose

Light wash denim mainly

Has a jean jacket that Alice painted

Sneaker collection

His room in the frat house is actually really clean because he has Rose over all the time

Probably has some really stupid decor (possibly a “Saturdays are for the boys” flag) but it’s mainly boring

Has a picture of himself and Rosalie on his nightstand or desk

[snailor-bee]

OC Modern AU: Caged Hearts

This idea has been bouncing around my head for a while and I wanted to get it down somewhere! This mostly follows my OCs Carys and Solomon, with a bunch of friends OC's thrown into the mix! Owners are: Umi @aifozu , Maren @mewiyev , Renge @childofblackmaria , Coco @secretvoidvoid

I'm still thinking about ideas for this AU but I'm more than happy to discuss with anyone about it! So feel free to ask any questions or just talk to me about it lol. Also any mutuals who wanna discuss about specific OCs that I did or didn't include hmu. >:3c

Abyss owns a place pretty far outside of town. It’s basically a homestead even though Abyss has taken to working more and more often at his company in the city as his kids have gotten older.

Solomon and Carys have been raised as siblings, although Solomon is adopted. No one would be able to tell they weren’t blood related though, Solomon and Carys both look so much like their father.

They were originally homeschooled by Abyss and other tutors until Solomon put his foot down and demanded to go to a ‘real’ school. Carys went with him but only lasted a few days before reverting to being homeschooled.

Solomon is skinny and tall like their father, they’re all a similar shade of tan (Carys and Abyss a bit darker as they spend more time outside than Solomon prefers too). He’s got short black hair, dark eyes like Abyss, and is tattooed down both arms. He’s working on his chest currently. He’s going to college as a business major even though he’d really rather not. However, Abyss wants him to take over the family business and both know Carys would never do that. So it falls on Solomon. He’s also a few years older than Carys in this AU. What he’d really like to be though is an artist or a tattoo artist. He draws constantly.

Carys is perfectly satisfied living on their farm. She takes care of their animals every day but after being told she had to take a degree in something she is Languages major, simply because she has an ear for that sort of thing and being fluent in other languages is easy for her. She takes the courses online since she doesn’t care to attend a college in person. She looks largely the same as her normal human form however she’s a little more bulky since she works on the farm. She still enjoys singing and sparring with Solomon or their father.

Both siblings like to do underground cage fighting. Solomon a little less, since he’s honestly not much into fighting even though he’s not bad at it (for some reason Abyss knows a lot of different types of fighting styles and taught them both). It’s more for something to do, the entertainment of it all is thrilling. The energy of the crowd and being apart of something is intoxicating, and the money isn’t bad either. He gets Carys involved who does like the fighting aspect of it and hardly cares about anything else.

Solomon doesn’t really understand it but Carys has always been a little… odd. Not the greatest with society interactions and you’d think she was born in another century with the way she reacts to technology. She can call and begrudgingly text (it takes her forever) and that’s about it. Online school was initially a challenge because while Carys understood everything and could take tests, anything required to be typed (which was… everything) irritated her as she hated using a computer. Solomon eventually hooked her up with a typer, Bee, who would take Carys’ written pages and type them out for her to send in. The two become friendly.

Bee has recently gotten out of the military and is attending college as an English major. She’s older than most of the college students because of her military experience. She and Solomon had taken a few classes together which is why he thinks to ask her to help his sister out. She lives off campus with a few friends in an apartment and is a full-time student.

Their only other close friend is Maren, who was the one who originally introduced them to the underground fights. He works on their farm as a farmhand sometimes and both siblings enjoy his laid-back company.

Maren is a frequent fighter in the cages and although he loses just about as often as he wins, he loves it. He’s a big fan of the Donut Destroyer, a tall man with a huge following and always fights with a black and white striped scarf around the bottom half of his face. (People think the name is lame but everyone is to scared to tell him that). Maren later finds out that Carys and Solomon know him, like actually know him, and that he works at Abyss’ company. He begs Carys to go along with her on a random trip to Abyss’ work and he meets Katakuri there.

Solomon is on a dating app when he sees a drop-dead gorgeous woman on there. She’s got short white hair and is completely covered in blue lines of tattoos. Her name is Umi. She’s way above his league but he shots her a message anyway. They get to chatting and hit it off. They arrange a date, but it happens to be on a day that he’s supposed to be with Carys and he can’t pawn her off on Maren or Bee. In a panic because he doesn’t want to reschedule afraid that Umi will think he’s blowing her off he finds out about a Martial Arts tournament. Thinking Carys will at least find it a little interesting, he gets them tickets to that, tells her he’s going to be late, and takes off for his date.

(It goes super well and Solomon is basically in love at first sight. Umi is the coolest person he’s every met and they get along so well, it was hard to say goodbye. Solomon is EXTREMELY late when he finally manages to tear himself away and book it to the tournament.)

It’s most definitely ended by the time he shows up and he’s just in time to see Carys challenging a man to a fight. Luckily the man looks only mildly confused but that could just be his face (he looks high as fuck, what is wrong with people?? With the way he’s dressed, Solomon assumes he was in the tournament itself, how is he high). Forcibly dragging Carys away from the weirdo with the pineapple hair, he demands to know what happened.

Nothing happened, just Marco was a fantastic fighter and Carys wants to fight him, badly. Solomon gets them out of there but the next few days are torture listening to Carys drone on and on about the pineapple head. It’s clear to Solomon that she has a crush that she’s misplacing into an urge to fight the man but to Solomon’s knowledge, Carys has never really had a crush on anyone before and isn’t quite sure how to bring it up.

Life goes on except that Carys’ fights have been bringing in slightly less money. Solomon knows it’s because the crowd is becoming bored of her fights, she’s won almost all of her matches. So he goes to her, trying to beg her to intentionally lose a match. He knows she’ll never go for it and is shocked to see her think it over. There’s a gleam in her eye when she says “Yes, but only if you’ll tell me where I can find Marco.”

There’s nothing else to do. He does and she loses. Marco works at a gym named the Whitebeard Gym. Which happens to be the gym Maren attends (and is the one who gives Solomon this information). Maren ends up taking Carys and signing her up for the gym. After he explains how to use all the equipment, she goes by herself frequently and signs up for all of Marco’s classes. After being told her behavior of just… demanding he fight her was unacceptable (and would end up making him never fight her if she kept asking) she doesn’t ask but does make it a point to try to talk with him every time before or after one of his classes. At first it’s mostly fight related but slowly it becomes easier and more natural. Marco finds that he comes to enjoy their chats.

At some point, Solomon mentions that Carys must like Marco and when she asks him “how you can tell if you like someone?” Solomon tells her to ask Bee.

They discuss it together but Carys decides to show Bee Marco personally so she brings her to the gym. (Bee complaining the entire time because she does not want to go) However the class they have signed up to do isn’t being run by Marco (he’s away at another tournament) and Carys, annoyed, says they can go. But Bee has caught sight of their instructor, a tall handsome man with his long blond hair pulled back in a messy bun and the weirdest mustache she’s ever seen but hey, she’s already here. They stay to do the class and Bee about dies. After her near death experience they go to the front counter so Carys can ask when Marco should be back. Thatch, jokingly, asks Bee if she’s joining the gym and she snorts. “Not on your life.” “Not even for some eye candy?” he snaps back with a wide grin. Bee rolls her eyes. They can all see where Edward Newgate is surrounded by women from the class. When Bee finds out he’s the owner of the gym she’s impressed. Bee tells Carys to just take a picture of Marco to show her later, which Thatch teasingly says they don’t allow photos of instructors unknowingly. Knowing Carys will take that literally, Bee sighs aggressively before seeing Edward walking up to the counter. “Just do it like this,” she tells Carys before smiling at Edward and asking for a selfie with her instructor for her first and last workout. Edward of course is more than happy to oblige and she gets a selfie and drags Carys out of the gym before Thatch can make another remark.

When Marco gets back from his trip, he says he wants to watch one of Carys’ matches, which she’s thrilled about. Except it ends up against Sasaki, a powerhouse. Carys loses that fight but afterward, Marco asks her to dinner. (Unfortunately, he asks her in the backroom while she was talking with Coco, Sasaki’s girlfriend so Carys, not recognizing the offer for a date, invites them along.) The four of them go to a place nearby where Marco knows the people there.

It's just a food truck but it has tables set up outside of it and it’s still a nice atmosphere and the food is amazing. It’s owned by Renge with her partners Roger and Rayleigh. Renge is the chef and her and Roger both have highly successful Instagram accounts. (Roger with his ‘Vanlife’ that he shows off his travels, Renge when she’s not working and is traveling with him reviews food. Rayleigh is a photographer and takes nicer shots if either need more than a quick ‘aesthetic’ picture that they can take themselves.)

Marco, not super thrilled with the way Carys is bruised and battered from the fight with Sasaki, makes a few ill-placed remarks that after a while Sasaki reacts to and both women have to talk them both down from erupting into an all-out fight. Carys likes both Sasaki and Coco though and wants to have another fight with Sasaki (or just spar together) which with some encouragement from Coco, the man agrees to. And that’s all I have right now! I’m still thinking things through. :0

Notes that I have which I’m unsure where to put: Marco has a blue parrot named Moby that only gets along with his brothers and hates females. So when Carys first meets him, Marco is assuming Moby will get possessive. However, Carys handles Moby extremely well (she’s very good with animals) and Marco is amazed.

I wasn’t sure what to do for Umi job so she doesn’t have as much information as I’d like, but just know Solomon is down BAD and they are extremely cute together.

The age ranges for Solomon and Carys are in their early twenties. Whitebeard, Abyss and Katakuri are in their 40s, while everyone else is generally below that somewhere. (Thinking Roger/Rayleigh are in their late 30s though). Marco in his mid-twenties along with most of his brothers, barring Ace.

[spencersawkward]

if you feel comfortable with it, I’d love a prof Spence where reader is a student and goes to office hours to initiate ~smutty goodness~ but Spencer is reluctant at first bc his job but they flirt more and eventually sleep together

me n my professor kink when i saw this: 😏 anyway yes i am quite comfortable writing about this lol. i took some ✨creative liberties✨ with your request so i'm sorry if it isn't exactly what you wanted! 

summary: reader is a student in Dr. Reid’s class, but she’s been something of a poor student-- office hours are the only solution.

relationship: Fem!Reader/Professor!Spencer

content warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, fingering, rough sex, super brief hair-pulling, creampie, dirty talk, spanking, age gap, degradation-- he gets pretty dominant oops.

word count: 4.5k

masterlist

popping in a piece of gum, I make my way to the back of the hall. there are a few people here already, but it's a little early. I'm never early. in fact, I'm usually late; my other class is on the other side of campus, and getting here involves a lot of embarrassing speed-walking.

but here I am, five minutes ahead of schedule and actually in a decent seat. as I flip open my textbook and pull my laptop out of my bag to prepare to take notes, my gaze slides down to the corner of the room, where Dr. Reid is standing up with a pile of papers. he walks over to the girl in the front row, handing her the stack and gesturing for her to pass it along.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. he's a total luddite. the first day, Dr. Reid spent about ten minutes rambling about the importance of reading from a physical book rather than online sources-- which, although I definitely agree with, means a lot more lugging around folders and organizing all the readings he gives out. if he wasn't so hot, I would have switched into another course.

and I know it's wrong to be daydreaming about my professor slamming me into a wall while he discusses the intricacies of quantum theory. the complete cliché of it is embarrassing. but still, I just can't stop thinking about him: how his fingers would feel around my throat, the smooth wooden surface of his desk against my cheek as he bends me over and pulls my panties to the side--

"glad to see you've decided to join us, today, Ms. Y/L/N." Dr. Reid's voice startles me out of my thoughts. he's standing towards the front of the room while students file in. his hands are resting in his pockets with his eyebrows pleasantly raised.

"glad to see you've noticed." I retort, too irritated with his comment to care about being polite.

a couple people look at me. even though I'm generally not on time, he tends to just glance my way when I walk in and leaves it at that. I know he doesn't like it, although I personally don't care. I hate this course.

he seems visibly surprised by my response but doesn't reply, gaze lingering on mine before he turns to speak to a student trying to get his attention. I bite back a smile. fucking asshole.

as usual, Dr. Reid writes in his thin, messy lettering on the board while wandering around the front of the room. he's quite fidgety, even though his voice doesn't betray any sort of nervousness. it's like he's naturally overactive.

every word out of his mouth is enunciated, sometimes spoken faster when he gets particularly impassioned by the subject. he's interesting to look at, too. messy curls and a nice suit, stubble that straddles the line between refinement and ruggedness.

I type quickly, but it isn't fast enough and the strange illustrations he does on the board only complicate things. I try to write them down in my notebook, but my handwriting is jagged; sometimes it's hard to read. when a student raises her hand for a clarification, I take the opportunity to catch up.

my head jerks up as soon as I'm finished and he's looking at me while he speaks. even from so many feet away, the intensity strikes me. he's gesticulating and crossing the room. I hold eye contact.

I wonder if he dates often; a couple of the girls in my row always stare at him throughout the lectures. he seems to be completely unaware of the effect he has on people. sometimes I'll see him in the hallway and he has his nose buried in a book, or a to-go cup of coffee, or both. either way, there seems to be no more room in that head of his for romance.

which, naturally, makes me curious about how he looks when he's on the edge of orgasm. if that composure is replaced with a contorted pleasure. I want to break him.

it's like he can read my thoughts, because Dr. Reid averts his gaze. my stomach twists with a strange anticipation. he avoids looking my way for the rest of the time.

towards the end of class, I start to pack my things to go. I have three papers to write, and my utter lack of interest in this is making me eager to leave. I shove my textbook into my bag the second my professor starts to make closing remarks.

"don't forget that we have a midterm in two weeks!" he says in a slightly louder voice as people start to move around. "if you have any questions, my office hours are posted on the bulletin board outside."

at this, my eyebrows rise. I forgot about the midterm. I have a study calendar set up for all my subjects, but I've purposefully been putting this one off. I'm not super into math. and it doesn't help that most of my time is spent not listening. when I am, it doesn't make sense.

as I stand up and gather my stuff, I hear someone clearing their throat a couple feet away. my head turns to see Dr. Reid leaning against his desk.

"Ms. Y/L/N, can I see you for a second?"

my heart stutters in my chest. is this about my attitude? he's never asked to see me outside of lessons before.

I frown, making my way to him with a deliberate pace. the tension in the room builds as I watch the last of his students shuffle out of the room. my head turns from the door to him; my breath catches a little in my throat at the set of his jaw. part of me hopes I get yelled at.

"I'm concerned about your participation in this class." he says. his voice isn't cruel, but it is brutally honest— which is worse. participation? I feel my fist clench at my side. my professors don't usually say anything if you aren't doing things up to their expectations; if you aren't, then they give you a bad grade. simple as that.

"is this about me being late?" I ask. he lets out a sigh before answering. he sounds disappointed.

"you're constantly tardy, and when you hand in your homework, you barely seem to have put in the effort. it's messy."

"messy?" I start to get annoyed. I'm only doing this so that I can get my degree. it's a fucking requirement. even though I'm not the biggest fan of mathematics, I still do my best and hand in my assignments on time. plus, the latest I arrive is five minutes-- it's not like I'm stumbling in halfway through the lesson.

"you've never come to office hours to ask for help or explained your lateness, which I, as your professor, would have appreciated." he scolds. honestly, I don't know what to say. my eyes narrow.

"I have my studio class on the other side of campus." I explain. "I should have emailed about that and I'm sorry, but I'm also not being lax about my work."

he goes around to the other side of his desk and glances up at me while he organizes some loose documents to pack away. he looks way too good when he's exasperated: his hands tighten around the papers, his eyebrows come together in this cute way. his tie is a little crooked, too.

"are you struggling with the content?"

"sometimes, yeah. but I can handle reaching out for help if I need it." I reply. he's pissing me off with these questions. I can see from the expression on his face that he's surprised by my reaction.

"really?" he slides some books into his messenger bag. that was definitely sarcastic; I know it was. "because it doesn't really seem like you have."

"I like to find help on my own." I shoulder my bag and cross my arms over my chest. there's no way he's gonna talk to me like that and expect me to not respond in kind.

"I'm reserving a slot on Wednesday evening for you," he looks up and holds my gaze. hazel irises that dare me to challenge him further. "I want you in office hours so that we can figure out how you're gonna catch up before the midterm."

"fine." I turn on my heel and leave. I know I'm not supposed to talk to my professor like that, or even to behave with such apprehension. but something about him makes me angry in the kind of way that settles in my stomach. I hate that he's right. I'm not going to do well on that damn test if I don't get some help.

but that doesn't mean I can't have some fun with it.

when I rush into his office on Wednesday evening, the sun is just starting to set through his window. there's a pinkish glow that smooths over Dr. Reid's desk as he glances up at me. I had to run to get here.

"you're late." he nods to the clock on the wall. I roll my eyes.

"only one minute, though. I had another class."

he sighs and folds his hands on his desk. "how are you doing today, Ms. Y/L/N?" a strangely polite question for the look on his face. he's frustrated with me.

"I'm quite well, Dr. Reid." I smile brightly, slightly excited by the anger on his face, and sit at the chair in front of his desk.

"I didn't know you were interested in art." he says simply. I'm confused for a moment before I remember that I told him that the course before his is a studio lesson.

"I didn't know you cared."

"do you make a habit of that?" he quirks an eyebrow.

"of what?" my expression is saccharine.

"being rude to people who control your grades."

"unless you're considering being unethical in your practices and allowing your personal opinion of me to influence my grade, then no." I counter. he's silent for a moment, taking in my words like they've left a mark on him.

"well, you'd most likely fail if I asked you to leave my office hours right now. whose fault would that be?" he fidgets with his hands and leans forward just a bit, his voice dropping to a lower tone. I bite back a smile.

"you wouldn't."

"and why is that?" he baits.

"because you're not a shitty professor, Dr. Reid," I lean back in my chair and cross my legs. "as angry as you are, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you kicked me— a struggling student— out of here for giving you a little attitude."

"a little attitude?" he scoffs. "you've spent the whole semester completely ambivalent."

"not completely." I shrug.

"Y/N, you draw all over your tests and leave at least one problem half-finished every time. you obviously aren't learning." he chuckles mirthlessly. I concede this point; I like to doodle when I'm bored. and there's absolutely nothing more boring to me than numbers.

"okay," I sit up and rest my elbows on the edge of his desk, staring at him. "then teach me."

Dr. Reid holds my gaze for a long moment. we're suspended, it seems, as his lips part and he finds himself speechless. the way I said the words obviously has another layer to it-- he just has to decide whether or not to take the bait.

"what are you struggling with?" he clears his throat and sits up a bit straighter in his seat. that answers my question, I guess. I poke my tongue between my teeth gently, but then pull out my notebook and flip it to a page with some problems outlined on it.

"these." I toss the thing onto his side and he begins to run through the assignment. I watch him pick up a pen and start to explain the steps, slipping into his usual educational tone. his shoulders relax a little as he writes.

I can't see right from the angle I'm at, so I stand and come around onto his side. I hear him pause his speaking for a moment at my proximity, but he doesn't move away.

"does that make sense?" he asks me once he's finished running through the first problem. he basically did all the work. the professor's head turns to gauge my reaction to the explanation, but his eye line is right at the hem of my skirt-- which is already pretty short. for all his attempts to be subtle, he gulps and looks up at me.

"mostly." I brush a piece of hair behind my ear and pretend to scratch at a spot on my upper thigh, dragging the edge of my skirt with it until he can see the smooth skin beneath, practically begging for his touch. "can I ask you a question?"

"sure." he keeps his eyes almost too focused on mine. I try to hide the smile tugging at my lips. now or never, I guess.

"what's your policy on professor/student relationships?"

"my-- my what?" this time, he's audibly scattered when he turns to me. his eyes are wide, dark. even he can't hide his feelings.

"you know," I run my fingertips over the tweed shoulder of his jacket. I can sense the tension beneath his clothes. "like, your policy on fucking a student."

"I--" his cheeks turn pink. he's flustered, albeit not rejecting my touch. "I've never had to think about it before."

"hmm," I look off to the side as if considering this point. his chair is fully turned to face me now, and I'm standing in front of him, almost completely his for the taking. all he has to do is close the gap. "well, what are you thinking about it right now?"

"it's wrong." he stumbles over the words.

"why?"

"well, I mean, you're a student--"

"for a semester that's almost over." I cut him off. he opens and closes his mouth. I take a deep breath, toying with the hem of my skirt. "I know you've been looking at me during class."

"w-what?"

"you're pretty good at hiding it, but you call on me a lot and you get all messed up when I hold eye contact too long during lectures." I say.

he looks down and back up apologetically. he's just sitting there, lap wide open. so I do what any sane girl in my position would do: I climb into it, straddling him and resting my arms around his neck. he sucks in a breath.

"you pretend I'm such a pain," I lean down by his ear, my core drawing over his pants. he tenses as I speak. "but you like that I'm your little problem."

"Y/N..." he trails off, but his hips are bucking up into mine.

"see?" I look between our bodies at his movements, then at him. I smirk as I look into those lust-darkened eyes. after a moment of him not speaking, I straighten. "look, I'll leave you alone if it really bothers you--"

as I start to get off his lap, he grabs me and pulls me back down. the force hits my center at just the right angle and I let out a slight mewl. he hears the sound and before I can register the pleasure, he grabs my face and yanks me closer to kiss him.

god, he feels so good. I rock my hips against his while our lips pass over each other hungrily. so much tension built up over the past few months, so many thoughts I've had of him, now coming to fruition. it's amazing.

"not so 'wrong' now, is it?" I chuckle against his mouth.

"shut up." he orders. one moment of broken contact to slide my top over my head and throw it on the floor.

I sigh as he starts to kiss across my jaw and down my throat. "I like when you talk like that, Dr. Reid."

one hand grips my hips tighter and he releases a groan against my skin.

"is that why you're such a fucking brat in my class?" he bites my collarbone and I moan. "because you want me to put you in your place?"

"mhmm." I hum. his fingertips move under my skirt, sliding up my thighs and toying with the waistband of my panties. he teases me by grazing my slit over the fabric, inhaling sharply at the wet patch.

"sitting in the back of my room, fucking dripping..." he mumbles to himself as he starts to rub me.

"touch me." I breathe out, trying to gain the friction that I need.

"not if you're gonna be a brat." he removes his hand and I let out a frustrated noise as I try to find the pressure I need elsewhere by grinding down on him. he grunts at the way I pant into his mouth, trying to kiss him with every chance I get. his lips are so smooth and sweet against mine. there's something affectionate about it even in its ferocity.

"I'll be good." I practically beg.

"that's what I thought." he slides his tongue over his bottom lip as he watches me whimper on top of him.

"come on, Spencer..." I use the name for the first time and he grabs my face in his hand, squeezing my cheeks.

"not my name, sweetheart." he stares into my eyes expectantly and I smirk.

"you're fucked up, doctor."

"so are you."

after he says that, he lifts me off his lap and stands up, pushing between my shoulder blades until my face is pressed onto the desk. I let out a needy whine, wiggle my ass back in hopes of finding his crotch, but he's not willing to give me that, yet.

instead, he gently touches my skirt, flipping it up so that he can see my ass. immediately, he starts to knead it. my palms are pressed flat against the desk with anticipation, silently thankful that my panties are still on. I think I'd be dripping down my thighs if they weren't.

"are you gonna be more respectful?" his voice is low, one hand tracing over my back. I shake.

"mhmm."

"I won't spank you if you don't use your words, sweetheart."

"yes." I choke out, no longer wanting to give any sort of resistance. I had no idea there was this side of him, and I love it.

he loves it too, apparently, because his hand comes down sharply on my ass. I yelp at the contact and he runs his fingers over the point of impact, rubbing the flesh gently.

"too hard, baby?" he checks.

"harder." I beg. I can't see his face, but I can sense his smile as if it's my own. his palm hits me again, and I gasp.

"you like being punished?"

"yes." strangled and desperate.

he slips his finger beneath the fabric of my panties, collecting my essence and letting out a quiet moan when he feels me. I push my hips against his fingers, partly expecting him to remove all the pressure, but he doesn't bother waiting.

he slips his index inside and I gasp. starts to push in and out, his silence proving his arousal. I can practically feel his eyes on me. the pace increases a bit and he slides in his middle finger. I buck against the desk.

"oh fuck!" I cry out as he starts to go faster. he curls them against my walls and I arch my back.

"two fingers and you're already breaking?" Spencer chuckles as he moves inside me. he keeps one hand on my ass while he does it, starting to finger me at a ridiculous speed while I pant and moan and cry.

"I--" I gulp down air. "I need you in it."

he bends down by my ear, never breaking his rhythm. my legs are shaking from the force. "you need my cock?"

"yes," I feel myself closing in around him. "god, yes."

"you're lucky I wanna fuck you so bad." he mutters. I grin as I hear the clink of his belt coming undone, the sliding through the belt loops, the sound of him stripping down to nothing. I can feel my excitement on the inside of my thighs, spread around by his reckless fingers as he removes my panties and skirt.

he grinds himself against my pussy, coating himself in me, while he releases low, longing moans. I suck in a breath when the head pushes in, every inch pushing me open a little more. I don't have the ability to form words, so I bite my lip and grip onto the edge of the desk until my knuckles turn white.

his breath stops for a moment before he groans.

"so ready for me."

he's not even all the way in, and he has to pause to let me adjust. when he taps the inside of my thigh for me to part them more, I do it quickly and beg him to fill me up. I can barely take the pressure between my hips, but it burns in an inviting way.

"keep going." I direct him. he runs his hands over the curve of my waist and starts to thrust into me at a rate that leaves me panting. it's not too fast or slow, just impatient and needy. every sound that spills from his lips turns me on more.

"where'd the attitude go, huh?" he digs his hips into mine. his cock hits my cervix and I squeak against the wood, but he holds my back down. I don't even try to argue with him, too overcome with the pleasure that's coursing through my limbs. he starts to build up his speed. "don't have much to say when you're getting fucked?"

"Dr. Reid--" I moan.

he plows into me so hard, the desk shifts on the floor and he grabs my ass with both hands.

"take it, baby. fucking take it."

I get up on my elbows to look behind me, just to glimpse how he looks as he gets closer. his curls have fallen more in his face, and his shirt is gone. I want to touch him desperately, to feel the lovely skin of his torso and arms and everything else, but he keeps me down for the most part. all I get is the sight of his mouth open and his hips moving quickly against mine.

"look at me, there you go." he grabs my face and holds me there, our eyes locked. mine are welling at the sheer overwhelming pleasure inside, but his are dark and intense. they search mine for something I can only hope to offer.

"that feels so good, Dr. Reid." I pant. he bites his lip as he watches my mouth hanging open in lecherous shock.

"I bet it does," he explores my body. "coming in here, hoping I fuck you like you deserve. you're lucky I'm going easy on you."

"thank you." I whine.

"you might need some extra lessons, yeah?" he grunts out, moving into me with a bruising force.

"yes, please." I whisper. my voice is practically gone at this point, my mind entirely focused on the knot building in my stomach.

"what was that, baby?" he pulls my hair gently.

"yes— fuck— yes, please, Dr. Reid."

"what a beautiful girl." he smirks. I whimper when he runs his fingernails down my ribcage. I can feel it coming from the way he starts to move tumultuously, every thrust pushing harder and seeking more release. it's fervent, how he takes me and grips my hips like the force itself will push him over the edge.

"I'm so close..." I breathe out as I try for as much friction as I can.

"show me," he drops down so his stomach is flush to my back. "show me how you cum, Y/N."

the way he says my name-- husky and warm and full of lust-- causes me to snap. I cry out as he reaches around to clamp a hand around my mouth, climaxing and pulsing around his dick as I drop down against the surface again. I want him to finish inside, so I do my best to keep him here. and his thrusts are getting more staccato as he chases the sensation my walls create.

"can I fill you, angel?" he asks. he's breathing right by my ear, and the feeling is sending shivers down my spine. I love how his weight feels.

"yes." I moan and he slides his fingers into my mouth. I suck on them while he orgasms, jerking into my pussy and letting out unholy sounds of ecstasy. he says unintelligible things in the throes of his orgasm. pounds into me until I'm sure I won't be able to walk tomorrow.

"jesus christ, Y/N." he slows to a stop. when he pulls his cock out of me, the absence makes me whine. I miss his body already.

"oh my god." I clench my hands into fists as I try to catch my breath. I'm still bent over the desk as though I've been completely sapped of all my energy. I suppose I have. he doesn't touch me for a moment in the spirit of letting me recover from the small shudders still running over my skin.

"that was great." he says after we've both had time to fill our lungs. I push myself onto my elbows again.

"correct." I grin and straighten up more until I'm standing. he stares at me, at the cum now dripping down my legs, entranced.

"let me get you something to clean up." he snaps out of it a little. I can't stop looking at him, either, in love with the way he moves and the way he breathes after exerting himself on my body.

"come here." I bite my lip. for some reason, despite what we just did, this is scarier than everything else. he steps closer and I reach up, kiss him softly. part of me worries that he'll pull away and be terrified. maybe that he'll tell me that I've read too much into this.

he's much gentler than before. our first kiss was full of need and primal desire, but this is more affectionate. I remove myself from his embrace.

"okay, you can go now." I giggle. his fingertips linger on my waist and he smiles. I push his shoulder. "I literally have your cum all over me-- go."

"fine." he starts to put his clothes on.

"does this mean I get an A?" I joke. Spencer shakes his head.

"nice try. when we're done cleaning you up, we're gonna sit down and figure this out."

I let out a whine, and he kisses my cheek before looking me in the eyes. "it'll be fun. I promise."

"math is not fun."

"I can't believe I like a girl who doesn't enjoy such a beautiful subject." he rolls his eyes and I giggle. he's perfect.

[neoculturetravesty]

We met in online class - Part 6

Image adapted from here.

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: College AU, romance, some fluff, lots of angst in this part Warnings: Strong language, descriptions of stress and anxiety, fist fight Word Count: 7.7k

Navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | You are on Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Last Part

A/N: Buckle up for some angst.

They say when it rains, it pours and Renjun was about to learn the true meaning of this expression.

Throughout his college life, Renjun had heard his share of praise from his professors who would tell him that he was gifted in a way not many artists were. But now that the career drives and job fairs had begun, Renjun learnt that at best, he was average. In the real world, he wasn’t ‘golden hands’ or gifted or anything like it--he was just one in a line of millions. Because in the bigger picture, Renjun’s competition was not just people in his school; he was competing with even better artists from even better universities that had even better skills and even better means. His design professor had very plainly told the class one day that out of all of them, maybe one or two would ‘make it’ in the real world, if they got lucky. So Renjun knew that if had to shut up anyone who ever doubted him, compete with the best and place anywhere solid by the time he graduated, he needed to land a stellar internship.

Not that his current internship was going any better. Renjun learnt that even small studios were a handful and that an internship basically meant being an errand boy. When he had taken on the job, he had fantasized about meeting exciting artists and maybe even helping the chief curate his best work yet. But more often than not, he found that he was sweeping the place down, and if he got lucky, he got to make a few calls to potential clients (who would yell at him before hanging up). 

And of course, like any self-respecting college that thrived on the student body’s mental health deterioration, the professors weren’t going any easier on the projects, even with the impending exams. 

On top of everything that was happening, Renjun had developed a constant tension in his neck and shoulders. Jaemin reckoned it was because Renjun was hunched over his paintings all the time as he followed the perfect lighting all over the apartment. You, on the other hand, reckoned it was because of all the stress.

“You’re just carrying a lot of anxiety on these gangster shoulders, Huang Renjun.” you had said as you kneaded your knuckles into his hurt one day as you brought him food. Lately, you had taken it upon yourself to make sure that Renjun was eating and staying hydrated through these pressure cooker times. Because when he was left to his own devices, eating would be pretty low on his priority list, simply because he did not have the time for meals. So you’d bring him a snack any time you saw him on campus, and when you didn’t see him, you’d get something delivered to him and if you couldn’t, you’d text him a reminder to eat. But as one would have it during end-of-semester madness, Renjun had received your food more than your company. Because truth be told, you were just as occupied.

Renjun hadn’t seen enough of you in what he was sure was now going to be a good two weeks running because you had way too much on your plate as well. Like Renjun, you too were swarmed by assignments and exams. But other than that, any time he did see you, you were ‘interview dressed’ for all the on-campus drives that were happening in your department. Renjun had come to wish you good luck on one of them and had seen how distracted you looked because apparently, you had pulled some all-nighters to prepare for this. Donghyuck had been the one to tell Renjun about this little bit. 

Because when you weren’t studying or giving interviews or working on projects, you were preparing to throw an end-of-semester party with Donghyuck. He had to admit, there had been moments where Renjun had been irritated that Donghyuck would know more about what was happening in your life than did he. But then again, who was to blame for that?

Renjun knew it was no one’s fault but his own. Because that’s the dumb precedent he had set from the very beginning--that he wouldn’t get too close. He was paying that price for it because somewhere along the way, you had begun to confide in Donghyuck more than in Renjun, though this development was gradual and subconscious. He supposed that since you had met him, some part of you had learnt that she was walking into a wall anytime things got deep with Renjun. And there are only so many times that people were willing to walk into walls before they learnt their lesson.

Renjun knew that you were always ready to provide emotional support. But he also saw that when you were the one that needed it, you were subconsciously turning to Donghyuck rather than to him. 

And because you weren’t doing so consciously, Renjun couldn’t even be upset with you. Who was he to be upset with you over it in the first place? He had spent all those weeks skillfully blocking you. So, just because he had changed his mind now didn’t mean that he could earn your vents right away. It would take some effort on his part and he acknowledged that.

But it wasn’t you hanging out with Donghyuck that bothered him. It was someone else.

Wong Hendery, it appeared, was always around you these days and for some reason, that really bothered Renjun. You had a lot of friends. You were just the kind of person who made friends wherever you went. His own friends were an example. Lately, any time he ran into his roommates in the living room or kitchen (since all of them were buried in work otherwise), they would inquire about you instead of him. You just made a lot of friends and that was a fact of life that Renjun lived with. And whilst so far, Renjun had been okay with all of them, he had no idea why seeing Wong Hendery around you made him feel some type of way. 

And in the strangest turn of events, he had even found himself subtly voicing this to you a couple of times. It had bothered him even more that you had never taken him seriously any time he brought it up. You had either been distracted or disinterested whenever this came up. Or perhaps you had very tactfully been avoiding the subject. You weren’t exactly the scheming type, so Renjun was sure it wasn’t that. All he knew was that at the end of it, he would just end up feeling stupid, because, well… it was a stupid, baseless feeling to have, whatever this was.

All in all, Renjun couldn’t tell what matter it was from the pillage that kept his mood sour these days. His failure in the job fairs, his increasing workload, the impending exams, his lackluster internship, or something else. He recognized that a big part of it had to do with not seeing you enough. He wasn’t going to be the idiot that denied that anymore. Since the party at your parent’s house, he hadn’t had a moment with you where it was just the two of you and you could talk about… well, the two of you. Not seeing you enough was making him sour, he knew that. However, not seeing you enough combined with the fact that Wong Hendery was around you all the time was probably pretty up there as a reason for his bad moods. 

The only upside in the end-of-semester times was that the damn virus seemed to be under control. Students could now more freely move about and a lot more cafes and parks had reopened. So, at the very least, Renjun could get a change of scenery whilst he painted or studied because he was getting tired of his apartment and the library and the damn studio. 

Today, he had just grabbed his things and sent you a very persuasive text, because really, enough was enough. Yes, you were both very busy. Yes, you didn’t have any time today. But you could at least give him one study date out in the sun, and finally, for the first time in two weeks, he had felt that happiness in his chest when you told him you’d come.

The two of you sat by the river as Renjun sketched and made notes and you typed away on your laptop. Your hair was done up in a bun and you wore the campus hoodie and you didn’t even look up from your work when Renjun leaned over to feed you some rice. It had made Renjun smile. You looked like every boy’s fantasy of a college girlfriend but thinking about it also made his heart a tiny bit heavy. Because after all this time, the two of you still hadn’t had that conversation. Come to think of it, the two of you hadn’t even kissed ever since that afternoon in the strawberry fields. And maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t sat with you like this in a couple of weeks, or maybe it was seeing you share your time with other people. But Renjun felt that he had to address the some elephant in the room sooner rather than later. Because he didn’t want a some relationship any longer. He wanted more.

“No one’s going to be happier than me when this semester is over.” you mutter as you chew onto whatever Renjun had fed you.

“You and me both. Let’s celebrate our freedom together when it ends.” Renjun suggests as he sits up to stretch his neck. 

“Done deal.” You look up from your laptop to give him a fist bump.

“Hey, I was thinking…” Renjun hesitates. “Let’s go somewhere together. After the semester is over.” He feels butterflies in his stomach even as he asks you that. And he knows why. Because this is the first time he’s asking you for a real date, where he wants to take you out for your company, no opportunistic strings attached. But also, he wants to take you away from everyone else where he would have all of your attention and he could finally tell you how he really feels.

You smile as you shuffle your notes. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Anywhere. We could go to the beach and go mudflat fishing. If that’s not your thing, we could go camping instead.”

You finally look at him and smile an undistracted, attentive smile. “I’d like that.”

Renjun looks at you softly as he returns your smile. “My exams end before yours. Let’s go right after your last exam.”

“Oh, I can’t go then.” You say, shaking your head quickly.

“Why?”

“Haechan and I are hosting the end-of-semester, remember?” you remind him and Renjun holds himself back before he could exhale over ‘Haechan and I’.

“Okay, how about the day after?” Renjun asks.

“I can’t go then, either. Hendery and I have to go visit the tower.” you tell him.

This time, Renjun can’t hold back. Because ‘Hendery and I’ was way, way worse than ‘Haechan and I’. Before he could stop himself, he finds himself commenting

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Wong Hendery, huh?” he hadn’t meant for that hint of accusation to lace his tone, but it had come out that way.

“Ughhhh, tell me about it. He says he’d basically be happy never seeing me again once all of this is over.” you say as you steal his bowl of rice and begin stuffing your face. Renjun feels that irritation again because as always, you seem to be blowing this topic off. But for some reason, he doesn’t want to let it go today.

“I just don’t trust him.” Renjun says and he finds himself clenching his jaw a little.

You look at him from above the rice and smile amusedly. “Why though? He’s a cool dude.”

“I don’t know. There’s just something about him. I just… I don’t know, I guess it’s a guy’s instinct.” he says, and like anytime he has brought up this subject before, he’s feeling incredibly dumb.

You raise an eyebrow and look away from him. You don’t seem very impressed by the comment. “Nah, he’s super cool and all of that. You can meet him if you like.” you say in a tone that is way too nonchalant for Renjun’s liking. 

He had met him before, of course. But he didn’t know Wong Hendery even if he did know Wong Hendery. So how could he tell you that the man was bad news based on just a feeling? ‘He’s using you! Why don’t you see that he’s using you!’ Renjun wanted to yell at you. But he says something else. 

“Just, like… I don’t know. He just seems mysterious and unsharing.” Renjun tries to explain.

“So are you.”

There is a moment of silence as Renjun feels a sting and you look at him with no expression. 

You were right. 

Renjun hadn’t shared anything about himself with you. The things you knew about him was information you had probably collected through his friends. The only time he had really opened up to you was that one night in his room. Suddenly, more than irritation, he feels angry with himself. 

What a stupid, stupid, stupid idea it had been to set those dumbass rules with you. How had he expected it would pan out? How did he think he could use you as a means to an end, but not learn anything about you or give away anything about himself? He hadn’t thought this through at all. Then again, he hadn’t expected for it to go on this long; and he most certainly hadn’t expected that he would end up falling for you.

“I just… I don’t trust him around you.” Renjun admits and this time, he has the decency to sound a little ashamed.

“I know how to take care of myself, Renjun.” you tell him quietly.

Renjun looks away because for the first time since he’s known you, you’ve spoken to him that way. He wants to scream and pull his hair because no. You don’t. You don’t know how to take care of yourself. How could he tell you that you weren’t the best judge of character? How could he tell you that you allowed people around you to take advantage of you? 

‘It’s why you’re sitting here with me’ Renjun thinks with another sting. He knew Hendery was up to no good with you because he himself had been one of those people that used you for their own gain. He had used your kind heart and your willingness to see the good in people for his own stupid plan. The stupid, dumbass, flawed plan that he hadn’t thought through in the slightest. He had thought he had, because Renjun always assumed he was smarter than everyone in any room. That was probably his dumbest yet most defining trait; as kindheartedness was yours.

As if to add insult to injury, your phone rings and Wong Hendery’s name shines cockily onto your screen, mocking Renjun in all its glory.

“Hey, are you here?” you say as you pick up. You look around till you spot him and wave at him “Okay, coming!”

Renjun looks to where you had signaled and sees Hendery in his bigass car. He notices Renjun looking, waves at him and smiles. 

Renjun’s eyes close and he takes in a deep breath as you begin collecting your things. He doesn’t know why he’s being this way. He had been jealous before; he was an openly bitter person, that much he knew about himself. He despised every other asshole that did better than him. But this was a kind of jealousy he had never really experienced before. He wanted to protect you, but he also wanted to keep you… because now, he could feel you slipping away from him. 

“I’ll call you, okay? Make sure you eat dinner.” your voice sounds a little resigned and suddenly, Renjun feels his heart drop. It’s a strange feeling, but there it is in the pit of his stomach. Renjun realizes that the feeling really closely resembled fear. And it’s because you’re leaving like this. 

Had this been your first fight? Maybe it had. It hadn’t felt like a fight, because Renjun has fought with a lot of people before, and this was nothing like that. There was no screaming, no gaslighting, no accusations. But it was the tone you had taken with him. Like you were disappointed. Like you expected better. You had never taken that tone with him before. So as you stand up to walk away, Renjun grabs your hand. He looks up from where he sits.

“Hey…” his heart is sinking, he has this awful feeling in his chest and now he no longer knows what to say to keep you. So he brings your knuckles to his lips and presses into them for a few moments before he looks back at you. “Are we good?” He wants to kiss you, he wants to take you in his arms and kiss you and know that nothing has changed. But he knows that Wong Hendery is sitting right there and he doesn’t want you to think that he’s putting on a show of jealous, testosterone fueled possession. 

He watches as your face softens. You crouch so your face is levelled with his. You keep holding your bag that’s slung over your shoulder with one hand. With the other, you gently hold onto his cheek and lean in to press a soft kiss to his lips. 

“We’re good.” you say and you smile and then you lift back up to turn around.

Renjun watches unmoving as you walk away from him and drive off with Wong Hendery. He keeps watching till the car makes a turn and disappears from view.

Though you had told him that you were good, that sinking feeling hasn’t left his chest. Because Renjun realizes that what you had done had felt a lot like a goodbye kiss.

Renjun doesn’t get time to dwell on his aching heart too much, because soon after, exams begin. 

It is as if a lull had taken over the entire campus. Everyone around him had their heads down as they studied and slept and slept to study. Jeno and Jaemin had taken over the living room table as they crammed and kept each other awake through their all-nighters. Jisung would try to take some motivation from them but the boy had never been too fond of studying, so he’d end up asleep on the couch whilst Jeno and Jaemin took the floor. Even Donghyuck--who had insofar made it through college based on pure intelligence--could be seen bent over his notes in the library. For a week, each student on campus had a similar schedule; like someone had hit the pause button on everything else in life.

Perhaps it had been the exam stress. Perhaps it was everything that was happening culminating in Renjun’s mind, but that sinking feeling hadn’t completely dissipated from his chest. He had no way to explain what it was or why it was. But if Renjun had to describe it, it was as if a sixth sense was warning him. What the warning was about, he had no idea.

But as fate would have it, Renjun’s hardships were only beginning. Because right before his first exam, he had received a call from his mother. 

He had picked up because this had been maybe her third phone call to him this entire year. But two minutes into the call, Renjun wished he hadn’t. 

Questions were asked as if out of duty: if he was still in school, if he was still living with his friends, if he was looking for a job. And though Renjun hadn’t even asked for it--how she couldn’t send him money for the next couple of months because the Covid situation wasn’t doing any wonders for their restaurant. Although the conversation hadn’t even lasted a full 10 minutes, Renjun’s mind was fully fucked by the end of it. Why the fuck did she have to play with his head like this, just when he was about to go in for an exam? 

He shouldn’t have been surprised. His mother had a way of sensing any time her son was emotionally strained, because she would always show up right on time to add to his burden. This is how it had been most of his life. She would appear usually when Renjun was at his lowest and remind him that he was a useless fucker that nobody cared about. And because she was his mother, she knew exactly what buttons to press to positively fuck him over. 

Fuck this. None of it was fair. It wasn’t fair that she had called him after months and months. It wasn’t fair that she didn’t even want to know how he was doing. A global pandemic had turned the world upside down and she didn’t even want to know if her son was surviving through it. She just wanted to call to give him another reminder that she couldn’t take care of him. Fuck that. Fuck her. Fuck everything. Renjun didn’t need her or his father or anyone else ever again. Fuck all of it.

Renjun had hung up bitterly and that should’ve been the end of it. But for some reason, she had kept calling after that, which made Renjun throw his phone against a wall. Fuck that. She doesn’t get to call him to rub more salt to his wounds. He wasn’t going to give her that satisfaction.

It’s funny how when you’re truly feeling fucked, you tend to isolate yourself from the people who really care about you. And that’s what Renjun ended up doing following that phone call. Almost as if in self-sabotage, he started avoiding everyone and hid himself away. Because no way did anyone really need him, anyway. Renjun knew that even in his friend group, he was the one the others could do without.

Jeno and Jaemin had one another. They would babysit Jisung well enough, and when they didn’t, Jisung had Zhong Chenle. His housemates didn’t really need him, so hiding from them was easy. Lately, he had also stopped hanging out with Yangyang because he was afraid he’d run into Hendery. Lee Mark hadn’t really hung out with him ever since he joined the 127s. And Donghyuck… well, he had you. 

So even you could do without him. You had been doing just fine without him these past couple of weeks. You had still been bringing him snacks, even after that study date. But Renjun wondered if that was because of your bad, kind habit rather than anything else. Truth be told, Renjun didn’t want your snacks anymore. Because each time he got them, it reminded him that he was nothing special to you. He wasn’t any different to you than Jaemin or Jeno or Donghyuck. He was just another guy that you were kind to out of habit. Fuck that. He didn’t need your kindness, or anyone else’s. He was fine on his own.

But on the night after his last exam, he finally picked up the phone he had thrown and read his messages through his cracked phone screen. Just to see if someone missed him. As expected, no one did. But there were some messages from you.

‘Hey shoulder gangster, remember to put on pain patches before you sleep!’

‘I ordered some chicken for you guys, eat well and study well.’

‘Hey, I tried calling you. I had gotten you coffee, but I couldn’t find you so now hyuckie is drinking it.’

‘Ayo. I hope your exam went well. Sending some Chinese food over, so eat before you study!’

‘Hey, Jaemin told me your phone is busted. Idk if you’re gonna see this message, but just wanted to know you’re doing well.’

‘I tried to see you before you went in for your exam but Jeno said you had already left.’

‘Hey… I hope you’re not still upset with me. I’m gonna stop bothering you so we can both study, but I’ll come see you soon.’

‘Okay, I guess i’ll see you after exam week? Meet soon.’

That was the last of it. After that, you hadn’t sent him anything at all. Even you had stopped reaching out to him. 

It seemed that when it came down to it, no one would ever fight for Renjun. No one would want to find out why he was in hiding, or why he hadn’t replied. When worst came to worst, Renjun was always left to fend for himself. He was all alone in this world. 

Jeno and Jaemin would always know what the other was feeling without having to use the words. Neither of them had to explain to the other what was on their mind. They just… knew. When one was in trouble, the other would come running. When one was down, the other would pick him up. Neither had to ask; the other would just sense it and be there. Jisung and Chenle had a similar connection. 

But no one ever sensed Renjun’s heart. No one just knew when he was sad or upset or angry or in trouble. No one would pick him up because no one loved him enough to know his mind. No one had ever paid any real attention to him to know when he was struggling. No one had ever held his hand and taken him out of his despair. No one would even notice that he was in despair. Because he wasn’t anyone’s special anything. 

He had been hiding away for an entire week and no one had even noticed his absence. No one had called in to check on him. Because no one really needed him. Not his friends, not his family. Not even you.

They say when it rains, it pours, and Renjun was about to learn the true meaning of this phrase. Because just when he is about to put his phone away, he receives a text from his mother.

‘Renjun, I didn’t want to tell you this way. But you’re not picking up my calls. Come see me. Your father and I are getting a divorce.’

Renjun had never really been a big drinker. He’d drink some with the boys every now and then. But that was it. But tonight was an exception. Tonight, it was okay to turn to the drink. Tonight, he wanted to forget.

After the kind of day he had had, he thought that even his demons could give him a break. He felt drained. Like his mind was slowly giving up and his body was doing all the heavy lifting. Putting one foot in front of the other. Making him breathe in and out. Keeping his heart beating. It would be doing his mind a favor, drinking. His mind needed numbing, then maybe his body could follow.

He walks into the bar a broken man. And he wonders if that’s how all men are when they walk into bars. Maybe that’s why men who walk into bars make such good punchlines for jokes. He certainly felt like one. Because the people that should love him seemed to treat him like one. Who was he to think any better of himself?

He had made peace with the fact that his parents never wanted him. He had accepted that they were happy to get rid of him. Then why did he still expect their love every single time? What was it that made him go running to them any time they asked? Why had he expected that somehow visiting them would fix everything? 

Had he expected that they would sit him down and peacefully explain why they were parting ways? Of course, he hadn’t. Had he expected that his mother would cry and apologize for putting him through this? Of course, he hadn’t. Had he expected that his father would own up to his mistakes and call him his son? Of course, he hadn’t.

But he also hadn’t expected that neither of them would want anything to do with him after they parted ways. He hadn’t expected to be the collateral damage of a failed marriage that neither party was willing to own. He hadn’t expected to be summoned just so his parents could have a screaming match about whose son he’d be after they divorced. And that both would want to shift that burden to the other.

It suited them, Renjun thinks as he downs whatever the bartender had handed him. It would’ve been more unsettling to have made the trip to find something understanding and amiable. This was on-brand for them. This is how it had been since he was a child. They’d fight and Renjun would be collateral damage. This was the perfect ending to their twenty-one year old saga. Renjun had expected it.

So, why was he feeling like he had lost everything?

“Huang Renjun?” he hears a voice call out to him as if from miles away. Was he drowning? Then why did he feel like he couldn’t breathe? Why did the voices around him sound like they were coming from far away?

“Yoo Jimin.” Renjun finds himself automatically answering. He looks up and let’s his eyes focus and there he finds her. He smiles. Of course. Who else would’ve been the guest of honor in his pity party?

“What are you doing here?” she asks him and Renjun finds himself making a face.

“Drinking.” he says as he lifts up his shot glass.

“Did you follow me here?” she asks cryptically. Typical. Of course everything had to be about her.

“How would I know you’d be here?” Renjun says, looking away as he downs another shot.

“I told everyone at the party I was leaving to be here.” she says and her eyebrow is cocked as she comes closer.

“Party?” 

“Haechan’s party? All your friends were there. Weren’t you there?” she asks cautiously.

Ah, yes, the party. The end-of-semester party. Here he was, drinking his pain away. And his friends, the people who should be concerned about him were partying. It was all very fitting he supposed. This perfectly fit into everything in his life at this moment. Including the fact the Yoo Jimin had been the one to find him when he was at his lowest.

“I didn’t feel like a party.” Renjun replies.

Jimin scoffs. “Typical. Of course Huang Renjun thinks he’s above a party everyone would enjoy.”

Renjun doesn’t answer. It’s an annoying remark and part of him wonders why it is irking him so. His heart was burdened by bigger things. Perhaps his mind thought that being annoyed at Yoo Jimin was an easier emotion to address. This was an emotion he understood. It was an emotion he could process right away. So he turns to her and finds her sitting on the stool next to him.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, because really. Why is she here, talking to him, sitting next to him?

“Oh, don’t worry, Renjun. I’m only waiting for someone.” she says, rolling her eyes and flipping her hair.

“You can wait for someone over there.” Renjun points to a place far away with his glass.

“Okay, you don’t have to be an asshole. I just came in to see why you were drinking alone while all your friends are at that party.” she says and now more than agitation, Renjun feels anger.

“Why do you care if I drink alone, anyway? You’re the one that broke up with me.” he spits out.

“Renjun, seriously, what is your problem? I’m only trying to be nice to you. You don’t have to come for me like that.” Jimin’s eyebrows are high on her forehead as she matches Renjun’s tone.

“Well, thanks a lot, Yoo Jimin. Thank you for your gift of empathy, but I don’t really need it. Not after everything you did to me.”

“Renjun! Seriously, what is it that I did to you? What did I do to you?” she raises her voice in agitation.

“Well, other than abandoning me? Pretending that you were happy with me then pulling the rug from under my feet and breaking up with me? Not even waiting a month before moving on?” Renjun spits venom right back. Who did she think she was, coming here and speaking to him like that?

“Jesus Christ, Renjun. Would you listen to yourself? Does it ever occur to you that you could’ve been the asshole in this relationship? That maybe I broke up with you because you were the jerk?” Jimin’s face is contoured as she yells at him. It’s good that the bar is relatively full, otherwise this could’ve been a scene.

“I was nothing but nice to you. I treated you so well and you treated me like dirt!” Renjun hisses.

“Renjun, that’s your problem! You only see the faults in others and never in yourself! But you’re not ready for that conversation, so let’s not have it!” she yells and turns away from him, crossing her arms over her chest.

“No, no, by all means, let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about all the times I mistreated you, please.” Renjun mocks. He was already too used to being gaslighted by his parents. Jimin could join that club. This was already the worst day of his life. It couldn’t possibly get any worse.

“Renjun, this! This right here. You never respected me. You never treated me like an equal. With you, I always felt like some stupid, airheaded trophy. I always felt like everything I wanted was superficial and shallow and not worth anything!”

“And whose fault is that.” Renjun laughs darkly.

“Renjun, you can’t even see what you’re doing! You just think you’re so much better than everyone else! You think everyone around you is a degenerate and that you’re the smartest person to ever walk this earth. I can’t believe I let you treat me that way for so long.” Jimin’s hands go from balling into fists to animatedly helping her point. “Renjun, I wanted to be a model for the longest time. But I didn’t, because of you! Because every time I’d post a picture on my Instagram, you’d tell me it was because I love getting validation from strangers. Every time an agent reached out to me, you’d tell me how showing off my looks wasn’t going to be a long lasting career. You just never respected me or my aspirations. Because all of them were so beneath Mr. Intellectual.”

Renjun turns away. He pours himself another shot and downs it. He didn’t want a lecture. Who was she to show up like this and give him a lecture unprovoked? 

“If it weren’t for Jongin, I would’ve believed everything you ever said to me. That people would only like me for my looks. That what I wanted to do was superficial and shallow and that I would never amount to anything if I followed my heart.” she goes on and Renjun has had enough.

“Save it, Jimin. We’re broken up now, so what does it matter?” he doesn’t look at her. She could yell at him all she wanted. He wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of a reaction.

“I only came to you because I saw you drinking alone. And I know that’s not like you. I just wanted to see if you’re okay.” her voice has lowered significantly, but the agitation hasn’t left her tone. Renjun wonders if she has more to say, because he certainly doesn’t want to listen to any more.

“Well, that’s very kind of you, but I’m fine on my own.” he says coldly, still not looking at her.

Jimin sighs. “Renjun, when will you realize that the whole world isn’t out to get you? I know your family isn’t perfect. But you’ve got friends that care about you. You’ve got people around you that love you. If only you could stop being an asshole to them for one hot minute and see that.”

Renjun still doesn’t turn. Because she doesn’t know anything. She doesn’t know his life. She doesn’t know how alone he feels. She doesn’t know jackshit about what he goes through, what he has been going through. Who is she to comment on his life and stand there like that and lecture him? She didn’t know anything. Fuck her for making him feel like he was the asshole. The world was taking a giant dump on him, and she was making him feel like he was the asshole. Fuck that.

She grabs her purse and gets off the stool. “I’ve got to go now. I just hope you feel better. Whatever it is that you’re going through. Please don’t go through it alone, Renjun.” she says before she walks away.

Renjun feels a lump in his throat. How could he not go through it alone? Who was going to be by his side? No one. So what use were his tears? He wouldn’t let them fall. He swallows that lump away, and when it doesn’t work, he takes another shot. He didn’t want to be here anymore. He could just go home and sleep. Maybe that would work. The alcohol wasn’t numbing anything. It was just making him more bitter, but for more reasons than what he had come in with.

So he finds himself walking home. Putting one foot in front of the other. Breathing in and out. Keeping his heart beating.

He felt so alone. Was he the loneliest man in the world? He could bet money that he was. No one knew what he was going through. And that’s what made him feel most abandoned. But then again. Fuck that. He didn’t need anyone. What good were friends anyway? Friendships really meant nothing. Renjun finally realized that what he had were not friends, but connections. Because at the end of the day, that’s what this goddamn college life was all about. Making as many connections as you possibly could, so you could reap advantages from them later on life. All of his relationships were opportunistic. And realizing this was giving him the worst headache of his life. Like all the alcohol was thrumming in his head and blinding him.

He arrives at his doorstep, punches in his code, walks in and freezes at what he sees. 

Jeno, Jaemin, Jisung, Donghyuck, Zhong Chenle and you were all in the living room, drinking and eating and laughing. None of them had even noticed that Renjun had walked in. Because they were all too busy bellowing together. 

Suddenly, Renjun feels his blood boiling hot in his veins. How dare they. How dare they look like one big happy fucking family right in front of him. Renjun pushes back all emotions he’d been feeling and holds onto one: red hot burning anger. He heads in.

“Hey, hey! Look who’s finally back!” Donghyuck says mid-laughter as he finally notices him. “Come join us because Mark is passed out on your bed, by the way.” he laughs but his smile slowly fades as he watches Renjun’s expression. 

“You okay, man?” Jeno asks slowly.

The others slowly start reading his energy as well because his demeanor has gotten everyone’s attention. Renjun wants to pick a fight. He wants to fight with all of them for not being there for him. But he looks around for an easy target. Someone he can direct all his ruthless anger towards. And his eyes zero in on you.

“What are you doing here?” Renjun asks you urgently. Like you’ve done something wrong. 

“I just got you some food. We all thought we’d eat with you since you didn’t come to the party.” you say and you get up smiling and take Renjun’s wrist “Come, sit.”

But Renjun roughly snatches his hand away from your grip, making you look up suddenly. Your eyes are round, but you don’t look angry. You perhaps look shocked, but mostly concerned. And that makes Renjun want to hurt you more.

“You can’t just show up here unannounced. I didn’t invite you here.” Renjun spits at you.

“Hey man, easy. We invited her.” Donghyuck gets up and puts himself between the two of you. 

“Well, this is not your house, either! You can’t just invite her without asking me.” Renjun scowls at the boy.

“Renjun, I just got you some food. I just wanted to make sure you had eaten.” you say gently, stepping up from behind Donghyuck to speak to him.

“Y/N, you are not my girlfriend. So stop acting like it.” Renjun snaps and he finally watches the hurt he wanted to see on your face. He also sees Jisung’s scared expression and Jaemin’s disappointed one.

“I…” you begin “... I know… I just… I came here with the guys… I…” you begin, but Renjun yells again.

“You need to leave. You can’t just show up whenever you want.” Renjun continues and takes a step forward but Donghyuck holds a protective arm in front of you. Whoop-dee fucking doo. Now his friends thought he was some sort of a savage. 

“No, Y/N, you shouldn’t leave.” He says then turns to his friend. “Dude, what is your problem?” But Renjun keeps attacking you.

“These people are not your friends, okay? They are my friends. You’re crossing a line and you need to leave right now.” Renjun loves the reactions he’s getting. He loves that he has provoked every single person in the room. Because Jaemin has gotten up and taken your hand protectively whilst Jeno has joined Donghyuck in blocking you from his view.

“Hey, man. Easy.” Jeno warns. Jisung and Chenle watch this strange confrontation with worried looks on their faces, eyes darting between him and the others. Renjun can’t believe it. All his friends were protecting you. All of them. He was the fucking monster in this room, too. 

“Renjun, I just… I just came here to see you.” you say, but there’s no accusation in your tone. Just annoying, tiresome understanding. He fucking hates it and all his friends can see that he does.

After everything he had been through, after all his life was putting him through, he was the asshole, he was the monster once again. 

Well, then. If everyone thought him a monster, he should become it completely.

“Y/N.” Renjun laughs as he looks away. Then he looks at you with that sinister smile still on his face. “Y/N, the only reason I’ve kept you around for so long is because I wanted to get to your brother. So you can leave now.”

That did it. 

Because Donghyuck’s eyes have closed as he stands in front of you and Jeno’s eyes have widened. Jaemin just looks shocked as he holds onto your hand. As do Jisung and Chenle. But you.

Your face has hardened. He doesn’t see shock or disappointment or the kind of reaction that would’ve given him full satisfaction. He sees your stone face as you finally say something with a hint of venom in your tone.

“Well, in that case, Renjun, you’ve been wasting your time. Because I got you a slot with my brother right after our first date.”

Renjun stands speechless. 

He would’ve remained speechless if you hadn’t pushed past Jeno and him and headed straight for the door.

“Y/N!” Donghyuck calls out and goes after you. Renjun watches the others. Jaemin and Jisung have looked away and he sees nothing but pure disappointment on their faces. Jeno, on the other hand, is looking straight at him. Renjun looks back. Good. He wants everyone to hate him. This was exactly right. 

He hears Donghyuck barge back into the apartment as the door bangs shut behind him. 

“Dude what the fuck is wrong with you?!” He yells and Renjun finds himself shoving the boy, pushing him so he wasn’t in his space.

“What’s wrong with me? Please, Donghyuck. Don’t even pretend like you haven’t been using her the same way I’ve been. You’re not any better.” Renjun punctuates the last bit with another shove and Donghyuck grabs at his collar and roughly pulls him by it. Before it can escalate, Jeno and Jaemin rush forward to break the two of them apart. Jeno grabs onto Renjun, Jaemin onto Donghyuck, prying him off and creating some distance between the two. Jisung and Chenle look from the couch, mouths hanging open, visibly distressed.

“You didn’t have to do that, man. You didn’t have to be an asshole to her.” Donghyuck accuses as he tries to free himself from Jaemin’s grip and come face to face with Renjun again.

Renjun laughs bitterly. “Well, now that I have been, you can have her. Live your happy fucking life.” Renjun spits at him and he gets the reaction he was looking for because it makes Donghyuck lunge at him once again, making Jaemin tighten his grip and pull him back.

“What is wrong with you? You fucking asshole! Why do you think everyone’s out to get you? Stop acting like a little bitch and start acting like a man for once!” Donghyuck shouts and that does it. 

Renjun feels his headache blinding him. And yet, he doesn’t know how he frees himself from Jeno’s grip. But before he knows it, he has balled his hand into a fist and aimed it straight for Donghyuck’s face.

Copyright © 2021 NeoCultureTravesty. All rights reserved.

[streetlight11]

Something About You

Summary: He has been going on dates, meeting new people online, wanting to find the girl of his dreams. But so far, all of them whom he met either have nothing in common with him or has a lot of common interest except cats. He has 3 cats so he could never imagine dating someone who would never get along with his cats. Turns out, the girl he has been dreaming about happens to be a lot closer than he think.

Theme: University au, partial strangers to friends to lovers

Genre: Fluffy fluff

WC: 4.2k

Pairing: Lee Minho x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hello! I’m back with a new fic. Hope you enjoy!

“So, how was your date?” Chan asked his roommate who had just entered their shared apartment looking just as tired and done as his pet cats. The boy simply frowned, kicking off his shoes and went straight to their living room only to crash on the couch next to where the older boy was seated with his laptop in his lap, probably just composing new tracks.

“Horrible. Probably won’t be getting back to her anytime soon.” Minho shrugged before taking out his phone only to scroll through YouTube of cat videos. 

Just then, a soft meow came from below his feet only for Soonie to hop into Minho’s lap and purred when he stroked its head to its tail in a loving motion. Chan let out a soft chuckle. He had a hunch on why this date didn’t work out just like the rest of Minho’s date.

“Was she another one of those girls who are scared of cats?” Chan asked but Minho’s face turned into a scowl.

“Worse. Can you believe she actually kicked the poor kitty away when all it wanted was a pet from her? God, how can some people be so awful?!” Minho grunted in annoyance, making Chan gasp in shock.

He has heard about all Minho’s past dates being scared of cats and sometimes even running away from them but never did he think someone would actually harm the poor animal. 

“Geez, yeah, she is definitely out of your list then.”

“Tell me about it.” Minho rolled his eyes as he got up to take a warm shower after a terrible first date.

The next morning, Y/N got woken up by her blaring alarm that has been going off for the past 5 minutes. Her morning lecture was in an hour but her roommate and also her close friend, Sana had already left since she had classes slightly earlier. She forced herself out of bed, only to shower and change into a comfortable outfit that was campus appropriate.

She managed to stop by the café right outside her apartment to get her morning dose of caffeine before walking to campus that was conveniently 20 minutes away from where they lived.

Y/N arrived on campus 5 minutes before her first class, making her way straight to class on the opposite side of the back entrance. Y/N was a CS major while Sana was a Psych major, hence the different schedules. She wasn’t really an outgoing type of girl, but she’s not exactly an introvert either.

Y/N has never been the one to start a random conversation with someone first. But, once she feels comfortable with a person, she can joke and chat for hours and never get tired of it.

She was a shy yet friendly girl at the same time and that’s what makes Sana befriend her so easily.

Above else, Y/N was a very sporty girl and she loved playing netball. Hence, the reason why she was the Team Captain of Konkuk U girl’s netball team. Sana wasn’t in the sport but she always came down to support her best friend if they had any tournaments for that season. Hours passed and Y/N had just finished her classes, only to receive a text from Sana, telling her to meet at the cafeteria.

Y/N entered the cafeteria hall with her laptop in one hand and her phone in the other, just scrolling through her twitter when she came to a stop at the entrance to try and find her friend.

When she spotted her blonde haired roommate standing by a table where there were at least 8 guys seated at, she knew it was Sana’s best guy friend.

Y/N walked as her eyes were trained to her phone screen but her feet brought her exactly to where Sana was. She didn’t realise where she was walking until she heard Sana’s adorable voice calling out her name.

“Y/N!”

The said girl froze in her spot, seeing that she was just 2 feet away from her and the guys.

Y/N simply smiled, proceeding to join Sana by the side of the table, only for her eyes to naturally travel to the people seated at the table. If she could admit, she was currently staring at two rows of handsome looking guys.

“Babe! This is my best friend I told you about! This is Chan. Chan, this is my roommate and best friend, Y/N!” Sana introduced them to each other, only for Chan to smile. He stuck his hand out, making Y/N shake it gently.

“Hello. It’s nice to finally meet you!” Chan said as a smile appeared on his face.

“Hey, nice to meet you too.” Y/N mimicked his expression, something she normally did when she just met someone.

“Don’t mind her, she’s just shy!” Sana explained and some of the boys found themselves smiling at this remark. Just then, Y/N’s eyes seemed to find it’s own way towards Minho who was seated at the very end of the table. Of course she doesn’t know him, but he did attract her eye for being quite cute. Probably even cuter than the others.

“Okay guys, I’ll see you later. Y/N let’s go! I’m starving!” Sana giggled as she bid the boys goodbye before linking her arms with her roommate and soon dragged her down the cafeteria aisle.

“You didn’t tell us your best friend’s friend is cute too?!” Jisung said, causing Chan to shrug.

“Sorry guys, cause I didn’t know either.” Chan teased, making Jisung roll his eyes but a small chuckle left his lips right after.

A few weeks passed and as expected, Y/N often rejected Sana’s offer of joining her to hang out with the guys not because she didn’t like them. It was because she was shy and Sana of course understood this but she never pressed on it. Instead, she gave Y/N the chance to willingly join if she wanted to without any pressure.

However, it was a Thursday late afternoon and the girl’s netball team was having a tournament that day. As promised, Sana came down to support Y/N and her team. Except this time, she made sure to tag all the boys along and they came without a single doubt.

Y/N was just doing her warm up when she glanced over to the bleachers, that’s when she saw Sana and the rest of the guys on the fourth and fifth rows of the bleachers.

Y/N didn’t know why but she found herself instantly smiling when she saw that they came down to support her. Just then, Sana happened to look over and she locked eyes with Y/N, making her wave her hand up high as she let out a soft giggle.

She responded back with a small wave while some of the guys did the same.

Right at that moment, she locked eyes with Minho who was seated in the seat just below Sana. For some reason, she could feel her heartbeat speeding up in her chest.

Almost an hour later, it’s the final round and it was between Konkuk U and Sogang U. Y/N currently sat on the ground beside the bench where her team members were seated.

“Alright girls. I have a lot of faith in you guys but let’s switch some of you so that you guys get to participate in the games fair and square.” Y/N announced to her teammates who then nodded, waiting for her next command. After switching 3 of the players and Y/N was satisfied with this, the 7 players soon cheered before going to the court.

The game started and it already got pretty intense.

Sogang U was winning by a thread but Y/N tried to keep the game in their court. Right when Yeri was about to toss the ball towards Y/N who was sprinting forwards, a member from the Sogang team forcefully threw themselves against her form.

Y/N practically got thrown across the court when she crashed onto the ground with an awful loud thud before she slid to a stop.

At the fall, she managed to hit her head on the ground from the impact, causing her to go lightheaded for a brief moment. A series of gasps were heard from the crowd, watching her press her forehead against the ground as a hiss left her lips.

The girl who shoved her, only smirked before they continued the game.

“Oh no…” Sana whispered as they stared at Y/N’s limp body. Just then, Yeri ran to her team captain, only for her to gasp asking if she wanted to swap with anyone on the team. Y/N brushed her off when Yeri helped her up, only to hear that Sogang U scored another point.

She rubbed her temple slightly, wincing in pain but nonetheless told Yeri that she was okay. Just then, their coach shouted at Y/N to swap with Irene but Y/N gave him a shake of her head followed by an ‘okay’ sign and soon resumed the game. Her friends watched anxiously as Minho couldn’t keep his eyes off her.

“Why won’t you just rest?” He whispered under his breath when he saw her jog to get the ball.

A few moments later, the same opponent from Sogang U targeted Y/N again, pushing Y/N by her shoulders. Y/N almost lost her balance but she swiftly threw the ball over their heads, towards Lisa on the other side of the court.

The girl snarled at Y/N but she gave the girl a soft smirk before raising an eyebrow up to taunt her.

A few runs later, the girl purposely tripped Y/N, making her accidentally fall backwards with her ass hitting the ground hard. Y/N glared at the girl, only to hear a few seconds later that Konkuk U was taking the victory trophy.

The girls were just walking back to their side of the hall when somebody roughly turned her around and threw a snarky remark to her and her team.

“Better luck next time, when I actually get you on the bench. That way my team for sure can win that trophy.” The girl said before she gave Y/N’s cheek a few slaps. Y/N’s friends who saw this were furious as Chan and Felix practically had to hold Sana back. Y/N scoffed, watching the girls of Sogang U continue walking while Y/N’s teammates comforted her, telling her it’s okay. 

Once everyone in the bleachers were leaving, Y/N was just wiping her neck from the sweat when Sana came running to her with her arms open. Sana gave her a few words of comfort, telling her not to be too affected by whatever that girl said. After the tournament was over and their coach had dismissed them, she took her duffle bag. They were walking towards the entrance of the hall when her vision suddenly went black and her head was pounding. 

A soft groan left her lips when she nearly collapsed down to the left side but someone was quick to catch her and it was Minho. He wrapped an arm around her waist while the other hand reached for her forearm that was clutching onto her head.

“Woah. Are you okay?” His voice soft, laced with obvious worry.

Y/N nodded, letting Sana help Minho hold her as they each held her on either side. Outside the campus’ back entrance, Minho asked if Y/N was strong enough to walk back to her apartment with Sana alone and she said yes.

Sana told the boys she would update them if anything happened along the way. But the girls ended up going home safely, only for her to recover in just two days.

A week passed and it was a Saturday night, where Sana told Y/N she would be out with her boyfriend. Y/N decided to head to a nearby library to study since the campus was closed on weekends. It was already nearing 10pm, probably the reason why she kept yawning every 5 minutes.

“Maybe I should head home.” She thought as she began to slowly pack her bags and soon left.

The boys on the other hand had just finished checking out the new steakhouse downtown. Simply hanging out without having alcohol involved.

They were just walking down the dimly lit street, their voices were probably the only audible sounds currently apart from the cars driving past every few minutes. The street was quite empty, they could literally count with their fingers on how many people they’ve passed by.

They were just talking about some soccer league when Minho’s eyes travelled towards the alley down the road, only to see a girl petting what looks to be a stray cat.

His eyes lit up as a smile tugged on his lips.

He has never seen anyone openly pet a stray cat around this area before so he was quite surprised to say the least. Nevertheless, he smiled brightly as he quickened his pace, telling the boys to meet up with him at that alley where the cat and unknown girl was.

Minho briskly walked towards the alley, only to be met with a very familiar face.

“Y/N?”

At the mention of her name, she turned to look up towards the guy standing by the sidewalk, currently looking down at her just gently scratching the cat’s ears.

“Minho? Hey…” She smiled and she could feel her heartbeat pick up speed.

“What are you doing out here at this late timing alone?” He asked, genuinely worried.

“I was at the library studying. I‘m on my way home actually.” She admitted, only to feel her cheeks heat up. Just then, she heard Chan’s voice from behind her, making her turn around.

“Y/N? Is that you?” Chan asked, making her giggle with a nod.

“Where were you headed?” He asked.

But before she could answer, a soft meow echoed down the street as the cat pressed it’s head into Y/N’s open hands, making her giggle. 

This small gesture was enough to make the boys smile, and maybe Minho’s heart to flutter.

“I actually just told Minho that I was about to head home from the library, when this adorable little one just started following me from down the block and I don’t think it’s gonna leave my side anytime soon.” Y/N said with a soft sigh. The cat meowed yet again as though responding to her.

Minho tilted his head to the side in confusion upon hearing her sigh when she looked down at the pretty brown fur ball before scratching the side of the cat’s face again.

“As much as you’re super adorable, I can’t take you home with me, baby.” Her voice was soft. The cat simply purred with soft round eyes staring back at her. Her words came as a shock to some of them but curious to the remaining.

“Wait, why can’t you?” Minho asked.

“I’m actually sensitive to cats.” She confessed, only for Minho’s heart to blossom. She’s sensitive to cats and yet she still pets them and even showers them with love? Where has she been all his life?

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Is it bad though?” Hyunjin asked, only for her to shake her head.

“I can touch them, but if I stay too long in an enclosed area with them, my skin will start to get red and itchy, and my nose would start to get runny.” Y/N said pressing her lips in a thin line, making the guys nod, feeling bad for her.

Just then, Minho squats down beside her figure only to stretch his arm over to pet the cat and the little fur ball just willingly went over to him. The cat rubs its face against Minho’s knees and thighs. Y/N couldn’t help but smile when she saw just how equally loving he was towards it. At that very moment, Minho just happened to look up only to catch her looking at him.

A small little bubble burst in the pit of his stomach as she soon tickled the cat’s lower back, making it go to her.

Y/N giggled when the cat stood on its hind legs, pressing its two front paws on her collarbone, making her laugh. Y/N cupped the fur ball’s face and soon caressed it sweetly before she nuzzled her nose against the cat’s pink ones, only for the cat to meow in her face.

“Looks like it really loves you Y/N.” Chan said, making her laugh.

However, her smile was soon wiped off and a soft frown appeared on her face. But this didn’t go unnoticed by Minho. So he suggested something quite smart.

“I have an idea. We’ll distract it while you quickly head back home. You know? To avoid it from following you?” Minho said, making the rest of them nod in agreement. She stared at the cat for slightly too long before she locked eyes with Minho, only for her to mouth to him softly.

“Thank you.”

With that being said, the rest of the boys slowly began to huddle around the cat while Y/N carefully got up and tiptoed her way down the street in the direction of her apartment.

She glanced back when she was reaching the traffic junction, only to catch Minho staring at her with a very soft expression. After she finally turned the corner, Changbin couldn’t help but speak up while the rest were busy pouring their attention on the cat.

“Damn, she’s pretty, she’s a team captain, she’s nice, AND she loves cats even though she’s allergic to it? I think you’ve found your match made in heaven, hyung.” He ended with his usual smirk, wiggling his eyebrows to Minho only for the elder boy to huff although he knew deep down that what Changbin said was right.

Y/N went home that night only to find her mind going back to when Minho looked so in love with the cat. Why did that make him look so… so endearing?

She smiled to herself thinking about how happy he looked when the cat was practically smearing its scent all over him. Y/N simply shook her head off of the thoughts and soon took a fresh shower before heading to bed, with Sana still nowhere to be seen.

Ever since that night, Y/N slowly began to warm up with the guys more. Especially Minho since it seemed as though they could literally talk about cats for hours. She found out later that he owned 3 cats in his shared apartment with Chan and that they were basically his children. She couldn’t help but laugh despite finding that extremely cute.

Y/N was added to their group chat which had the boys and Sana in it, only for her to exchange numbers with Minho as well. It has been 3 months since they’ve gotten closer and needless to say, Minho started to fall for her as the days go by and so did she.

It was currently a Saturday evening and both her and Sana got invited to Chan’s place to just hangout and chill, in which the girls agreed without a second thought.

Y/N wore her denim ripped skinny jeans, a shirt tucked in, a black jacket and her converse. Sana wore an open shoulder dress and a pair of vans since she was just a very girly girl compared to Y/N.

They arrived at Chan’s shared apartment, only for her to find out that Minho had kept his cats in his room. Something he doesn’t do whenever any of them come over.

Perhaps he cared for her and he didn’t want her to get sick for coming to their house.

Despite the teasing coming from his friends, he simply ignored them. He brushed them off by saying that he was just trying to be nice. When the girls entered the apartment, immediately, Y/N could already feel her nose being tickled by the atmosphere thanks to the cats living in that space.

But it wasn’t too serious yet but still, a small sneeze left her lips.

They greeted the guys who were in the living room when Minho came out of his room in just grey sweatpants, a tank top and his cutely tousled hair.

As soon as Minho locked eyes with Y/N, he froze in his spot. He saw the small smile on her face, making him shy all of a sudden. A few minutes later, they were all just gathered in the living room when Y/N turned to Minho who was seated on the floor beside her feet.

“Min ah, where’s your cats?” She asked. Minho felt himself tense up at the nickname but quickly regained himself.

“They’re in my room. Why? You wanna see them?” He asked, not realizing that some of them were actually watching them from their respective seats discreetly. Y/N smiled as she gave him a cute little nod. He could’ve sworn his heart jumped out of his chest for a bit. Nonetheless, he brought her to his closed bedroom only to push the door open and was instantly greeted by the soft jingle sounds of their collars.

Y/N smiled as 2 of the fur balls ran up to Minho and her. Making him quickly close the door behind him. Both of them kneeled down onto the ground when the dark grey cat began to nuzzle against her legs, while the light golden one hopped into Minho’s arms effortlessly.

“They’re so cute! What are their names?” She asked as she scratched the grey cat behind its ear, earning a soft purr from it.

“The one in your lap is Dori. This is Soonie. And that sleeping one is Doongie.” Minho introduced when he heard a soft squeak from her in excitement, causing him to chuckle. A blush crept onto his cheeks.

“How long have you had them for?” She asked curiously as Dori snuggled into her chest, making her pout.

“I’ve had them since I was young. When I went off to college, I told my parents I wanted to bring them with me. So, here we are.” Minho said, making her giggle thinking that his story was very cute.

Just then, Dori licked the tip of Y/N’s nose, catching her off guard.

She let out a soft giggle, turning her head towards Minho with her eyes crinkled shut. He found this extremely cute. When she fluttered her eyelids back open, she was met with him staring at her with a warm smile on his face.

She got shy so she turned to look back down at Dori, scratching the back of its ear. Soonie left Minho’s lap as he turned to her and Dori, only for him to give a few scratches to Dori’s head. Just then, Minho leaned in to rub his face into Dori’s body. Y/N giggled, watching him interact with his own pet.

Just then, he pulled away from Dori, taking this chance to turn his head towards her.

But for some reason, it felt like a mistake with how close their faces were from each other. It was almost as if they could feel each other’s breath fanning their lips and unfortunately for them, it was true. The room fell silent as nobody dared to say a word.

For some odd reason, Minho felt brave enough to actually lean in closer. 

Y/N watched very carefully as he closed the gap until she could feel his lips brushing against hers very lightly. At that very second, she closed her eyes, afraid to continue looking. Minho saw this and he began to smile, thinking she was adorable.

So he decided not to dwell on this and instead, he firmly pressed his lips on hers. Her breath hitched in her throat. She soon found herself melting against his lips. Minho’s arm found its way around her waist as he pulled her closer, until she could feel Dori jump out of her lap.

She pulled away when her stomach got pressed by Dori’s paws when it leaped off, causing him to chuckle.

“Sorry about that.” He apologized, only for her to smile.

“It’s fine.” She said with a soft little smile, only for him to blush as he kissed her again, this time reaching up to cup her face in his hand. Her heart was racing against her chest when he felt her rest her hands on his chest. Minho pulled away, having to force himself not to get too intoxicated by her soft, crème brûlée tasting lips thanks to her lip balm.

“Can I take you out on a date tomorrow?” He asked, only for her to giggle.

“Will you bring me to see your babies again?” She said.

“That depends.” He teased, making her laugh as he soon did the same. She smiled against his lips when she kissed him again, feeling extremely happy. They came back out to find the rest of them smirking. They asked why the two of them were taking their own sweet time in there, only for Minho to smirk.

“Maybe because I’m going on a date with the cutest, sweetest girl I’ve ever met who loves cats as much as I do?” Minho said, only for the rest of them to cheer happily for the new couple. Y/N blushed as she hid her face in Minho’s arm, causing him to chuckle but he simply hugged her and kissed her forehead endearingly.

Looks like he managed to find the girl of his dreams anyway.

[atlafan]

Regular Thing - One Shot

a/n: okay, here’s bouncer!Harry, or bouncerry as I like to call him. this turned into a longer thing than I thought, and it’s a no strings attached type situation. there is A LOT of smut, enjoy! (reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated) not proofread, sorry! 

Warnings: SMUT

Words: 14K

Being a bouncer in a college town wasn’t Harry’s intended career of choice, but it was a decent enough gig while he was in grad school. He was sort of over partying and boozing himself, so he didn’t feel like he was missing out much. It was fun at first, letting people in, turning others away. He took his job very seriously, never giving into the people that would flirt with him when the bar had reached capacity.

“Sorry, you’ll have to wait until some people leave.” He would say to them. The girls would push their boobs up and try to look as convincing as possible, but it never worked on Harry.

That was how the beginning of the night usually went. He’d stand outside for a few hours checking ID’s, and listening to the chatter of the people that would come out for a smoke or for some fresh air. He sometimes had a co-worker outside with him on the busier night, but most of the time it was him. Then he’d head inside and help grab empty glasses and survey the scene for overly drunk people. The bartenders would nod towards specific people and Harry would get them the fuck out.

It was tough at a college bar because people would often come to the bar already smashed. Their parties would get ruined by noise complaints, so everyone over twenty-one would come down to have some more fun. That’s not to say people wouldn’t try to sneak in, that’s when more of the flirting will happen.

“I just wanna dance with my friends, please? You can even stamp my hand.”

“No can do, come back in a few months.”

Harry was going for his MBA, and wanted to be a business owner someday. He got paid well as a bouncer, especially since he had boxing experience. His boss knew he could take care of business when need be. His boss, Greg, had taken him under his wing. Not only did Greg own the bar, but he also owned some off-campus apartments. He told Harry once he had his MBA a property manager job would be waiting for him. It would be an incredible start for Harry as buying and selling homes was something he really wanted to get into. He even wouldn’t mind owning the bar, or some bar, himself one day. He had time to figure it out.

For now, he was perfectly complacent working Tuesday through Sunday (technically Saturday, but the bar closes at 1:30AM), getting free drinks and food when he wanted, and listening to music. Luckily, his classes were either online, or in the afternoons, some were even weekend intensives, all of it was manageable.

//

Y/N worked at the university in town, also going for her master’s, but was only able to do so through her benefits as an employee. She didn’t get to go out that much, pretty much only when her friends were in town. One of her good friends, Mike, was in grad school for biology, and when her friends would come to stay with him, he’d invite her out. She had explained that unless it was a small thing at his place, or a night at the bar, she couldn’t really party with him or them if it was somewhere else. Nothing would look worse than her boss seeing her on barstool sports, hammered and popping her ass at some off-campus party where there could easily be people underage. It just wasn’t worth the risk.

Y/N only had guy friends, who she just referred to as her boyfriends. It wasn’t on purpose, it just sort of happened. She started hanging out with them her junior year of college when they were seniors, and they all just clicked. She had dated one of them earlier in the school year, but none of them put two and two together until later. She sort of absorbed them as a friend group, and the one she dated never really came around much.

Mike: hey, Y/N! The boys are coming into town this weekend. We plan to go to the bar Friday and Saturday night, will you come out???

Y/N: hey! Omfg I’d love to!

Mike: great! Can’t wait to see you

Y/N: same here, who exactly is coming?

Mike: Danny, Rob, Drew, and Conor

Y/N: amazing!! It’s gonna be a great weekend

//

There was a local band playing tonight. Harry didn’t love the way they sounded, and most people couldn’t wait for them to finish their set so the dance floor could open up, but it was a nice break from all of the overplayed music. The DJ on Fridays always spun the same tunes.

It was starting to get a little colder out at night, and even though Harry had been doing this a while, he still couldn’t quite understand how some of these people came out half dressed. People were coming in herds, and Harry had to turn a good chunk of them away. There was a $3.00 cover charge to see the band, but no one ever carries cash, and Harry couldn’t let them in without the cover. Simple as that.

He noticed this girl walking down to the entrance by herself. She had her hair up in a cute ponytail that flowed, and she was wearing skinny jeans with some booties, the jeans look to be high-waist. She was wearing a wind-breaker and a crop top. Not totally bundled up, but certainly more sensible than what many of the other people inside were wearing. As she got closer he could tell she had some light makeup on, but her eyes were done up. Whatever shadow she had on made her eyes pop.

Y/N had been to this bar many times, but not in a long time, and never at the hour Harry worked. Or maybe she had, but she had never really noticed him. As she approaches she gets her ID out and ready.

“Hi.” She smiles at him and hands him her ID to check.

Clearly not already intoxicated, good sign, he thinks to himself.

“Evening.” Harry mutters as he shines a small light on the ID, double checking it before handing it back to her. He catches her name; Y/N.

“Thanks.” She starts walking towards the door.

“There’s a cover tonight, three dollars.”

“What?” She scoffs. “Very funny.”

“Not kidding, we have bands a lot on Friday nights now…”

“Shit, it would have been nice for my friends to let me know, I would have stopped to get cash.” She fishes her phone out of her pocket. “And there’s never any service over here, ugh.”

Normally Harry would turn someone like this away, he would tell them where the nearest ATM was, and to have a nice night. But she looked up at him with wide eyes, and he couldn’t help himself. He sighs heavily and then speaks.

“Do you plan on drinking once you’re in there?”

“Well, yeah, obviously.”

“If I let you in, do you promise to tip the bartenders really well to make up for the three bucks?”

“Are you serious?” She perks up. “Yeah, of course!”

“Alright, go ahead.” He nods towards the door.

“Really?”

“Yeah, have fun.” He smiles, something he rarely did to the patrons.

“Thank you so much.” She smiles back and heads inside.

“Mate…” Niall, the other bouncer says. “Did you just let a girl flirt with you to get in?”

“No.” Harry scoffs. “I felt bad for her, that’s all. She looked panicked. Her friends clearly didn’t communicate with her properly.”

“Right.”

//

Inside, Y/N makes her way around to find her friends. She grins when she sees them all sitting down at a high top. She walks up and smacks Mike’s arms.

“Could have told me there was a cover.” She pouts and he gets up to hug her.

“Sorry, we didn’t know either. The bouncer made us go to an ATM.”

“It’s fine.” She says as she sits down and puts her jacket on the back of the seat. “He let me in for free.”

“Of course he did.” Conor rolls his eyes. “And don’t sit down, you have hugs to give out.”

“You’re right.” She giggles and gets up to hug all of her friends.

“We got you a drink already, at least.” Danny says, sliding it over to her.

“Ah, thank you, boys.” They all clink their glasses and get to drinking.

The band wasn’t terrible, but Y/N was definitely ready to dance with her friends. As soon as they packed up, and the DJ got on the turntables, they all made their way to the dancefloor. Y/N loved dancing with her friends, they always made her laugh, and the sleezy guys around usually left her alone. She could feel how lit she was and she knew she needed to slow down. Harry was at the point in the evening where he was standing inside, scoping out the scene. You walk by him giggling with Drew, you needed some fresh air and he needed a smoke.

“Shit, it’s cold out.” She says as she unties her jacket form around her waist.

“Mm, these keep me pretty warm.” Drew smirks as he takes a drag from his cigarette.

“That’s a nasty habit.”

“I only smoke when I drink, chill.” He chuckles. “You offered to come outside with me.”

“Certainly wasn’t going to do it alone.” You wobble a bit as you stand. You hear a song you love come on and you both look at each other.

Drew puts his cigarette out, and you both run back inside, whipping right by Harry. He notices how your friends are people he made go to the ATM earlier. He also noticed they were all guys. He figured you weren’t dating one of them, if you had a boyfriend you probably would have said so, and if you had a proper boyfriend he either would have come with you to the bar, or would have waited for you outside.

“Hey, Greg wants you outside again.” Niall says.

“Why?”

“Because I guess the town cop is coming tonight to make sure people leave safely, and Greg knows you won’t say something stupid to him.”

“Oh, Tom’s coming? Love that guy, he’s so chill.”

“If you say so.” He shrugs.

“Alright, I’ll go back out.” Harry sighs and goes back out, pretty much forgetting about Y/N until it was 1:30 in the morning, and she was walking out with her friends.

She was laughing hysterically about something, and Harry was making small talk with Tom. She stops short in front of Harry.

“Hey!” She smiles.

“Y/N, come on.” Mike tugs on her arm.

“Hold on.” She scolds him and looks back at Harry. “I did what you said.”

“Which was what?”

“Tip the bartenders well.” She bats her lashes at him. “You let me in without the cover, which was super nice, so I wanted you to know I did what you said.”

“Oh…um…good, thanks.”

“Come on, Y/N, I’ll give you a piggy back ride back to the apartment.” Mike says and she immediately gets excited. Y/N hated walking anywhere while she was drunk.

Harry watches as she hops on the man’s back, and wraps herself around him happily as the group walks up the small hill to the street.

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you at such a loss for words.” Tom nudges him. “Thought the college girls didn’t affect you.”

“They don’t…and she’s not just some college girl, she’s a little older, I saw on her license. She’s around my age.” Harry shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter, I’ve never seen her before, and I’ll probably never see her again.”

//

Or so Harry thought when she came strolling down with all of the same guys. This time around she had a ripped pair of black skinny jeans on, not so high-waist, Harry could see her belly piercing, and she was wearing a white crop top. Her hair was half up, and flowed down her shoulders. She looked pretty, gorgeous really. All of them were giggling over something, and it was already 11:30, so Harry assumed they had already started drinking.

“Hello.” Y/N smiles and hands him her ID.

“Evening.” He says as he shines the light over the card. “All set.” He says as he hands it back.

“No smile tonight?”

“Go inside, would you?” He says as he checks the other ID’s.

“Too bad.” She giggles. “You have a nice smile.”

“Y/N.” Rob hushes her and leads her inside.

“Hear that, mate, you got a nice smile.” Niall jokes.

“Shut up.” Harry grumbles and crosses his arms.

//

The boys all wanted to play pool, which Y/N sucked at, so she just happily stood by sipping her drink, swaying to the music. She munches on popcorn, and notices Harry going around collecting empty glasses and bringing them behind the bar. She notices how he smiles at the bartenders, letting them nudge him playfully.

He looks over and sees her looking at him and his eyes widen. Instead of feeling embarrassed, she keeps looking at him. She smiles and bites the straw in her drink, and his face flushes before turning away. Harry wasn’t an easily flustered man, so he was extremely confused. When he looks over in that direction he finds her cheering on her friends. He wondered why you weren’t playing, billiards weren’t that difficult.

Later on when she was on the dance floor with her friends, they point over to the door where Harry was effortlessly carrying someone out.

“Damn, that guy must have been fucked up!” Danny says.

“Yeah!” Mike says.

“I wonder how I could get him to pick me up like that?!” Y/N says and the boys laugh.

“Are you gonna try to pick him up?!” Conor says.

“Not tonight, it’s boy’s night!” She backs her ass up to Drew and he laughs as he dances with her. “But maybe another time, he’s cute!”

“Last night was boy’s night.” Rob scoffs. “Go on and get yourself some.”

“Maybe when he’s less busy.” She laughs.

Harry was about to go on a fifteen minute break as he was carrying some empties to the glass racks. Right when he was walking back to the main area, he bumped into someone, causing them to spill their drink on the floor.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” He sighs.

“Oh! No, that was my fault, I…” Y/N looks up at Harry. “I should have been more careful.”

“Can I get you a new one?” He rubs the back of his neck.

“Really, it’s okay, not that much spilled.” Harry nods at her. “So…you work here, that’s cool.”

“Yeah.”

“Saw you toss that guy out, does that happen often.”

“Maybe a couple times of week.” Harry shrugs.

“You seemed like you were in a hurry, am I keeping you from something?”

“No, I was just headed for my break.” He looks her up and down, she was so pretty, and maybe it was the couple of shots he had in his system, but he was feeling more bold than usual. “There’s an office in the back I usually go hang in for a bit…it’s quiet.” He steps a little closer to her.

“Do you wanna show me?”

Harry nods at her and she smiles. She follows close behind him to the back office. Now, normally this wasn’t something Harry did. Hooking up with drunk girls while he was barely inebriated himself wasn’t an activity he participated in often. Having worked at the bar for a good chunk of time now, though, he’s able to tell that she’s fine. She can stand on her own feet fine, and she’s not wobbling around.

“How many drinks have you had?” He asks as he closes the door, locking it.

“This is my second.” She says as she places it on the desk.

“And before coming down?”

“Just a couple of shot.” She shrugs. “How long is your break?” She walks towards him.

“Fifteen minutes.”

“And how would you like to spend that little chunk of time?” She says as she presses her hands to his chest.

Harry’s answer is to cup her jaw and lean down to kiss her, which she happily accepts. Her lips were sticky-sweet with the cranberry juice from her drink. He runs his tongue over her bottom lip before sucking on it. She tugs on his shirt as she balls it up in her fists. His hands move to her hips to walk her back towards the desk.

“Is this okay?” He whispers against her lips.

“Yes.” She smiles up at him. “You’re right, it is quiet in here.”

Harry smirks at her and attaches his lips to hers again. Her hands splay across his back, and she runs her nails down the length of him. She’s back up against the desk with his leg between her. His hands slide down to her ass and he squeezes what he can, getting a gasp from her.

“Um, what’s your name?” She says as he kisses from her jaw to her neck.

“It’s Harry.” He mumbles against her.

“I’m Y/N.” She grunts as his teeth graze her soft skin. “That feels good, but I don’t think you have time for all that.”

He moves to look at her, eyes pleading to have him just touch her already.

“You really wanna do this?” His asks as he grips onto the waistband of her jeans.

“Yes, would have tried to last night, but I was way too fucked up.”

“And you’re not tonight?”

“Nope.”

“How do you want it?”

“Just bend me over the desk.”

A soft groan leaves Harry’s lips. He undoes her jeans, and slides his hand inside to get a feel for her, and her back arches. She bites her bottom lip as his fingers graze over her folds.

“Just wanna make sure you’re wet enough for me.” He kisses her again as she grinds against his hand. She whines when he takes his hand away. “Turn around.” She nods and braces herself with her palms gripping the edge of the desk.

“Wait!” She says and rummages through her purse. “Condom.” She gives him a shy smile as he takes it.

“Good catch.”

He tears it open with his teeth and undoes his belt and zipper, tugging his boxers and pants down just enough to get his hard dick out. He rolls the condom down his length. You tug down your own jeans and panties. The lights in the office were dim, so neither of them felt over exposed. It was the perfect atmosphere, really.

He sucks his fingers into his mouth and reaches between her folds again, finger her for a moment or two just to make sure she was good to go.

“Please.” She whimpers as she looks over her shoulder at him.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

Harry nods and grips her hips as he slowly pushes inside her. Y/N’s mouth falls open as he keeps feeding it into her.

“Oh my god.” She breathes.

“Alright?”

“Yeah, you can move.” She looks at him briefly. “And remember, you have to be quick.”

“Want it fast, is that what you’re telling me?” He smirks and she nods with hooded eyes.

Harry pulls almost all the way out and slams back into her. She gasps, but she encourages him to do it again. And he does, over and over until he gets a comfortable rhythm going. He was drilling into her, but she seemed okay. He snakes an arm around her chest so he can grope at one of her breasts. She arches into him, and her head falls back against his shoulder. He licks into her mouth while his other hand works to rub her clit. She moans into his mouth, and he hooks an arm around his head to tug at his hair, causing him to moan into her mouth. He slows his pace up to focus on her. She was moving her hips in sync with the motions of his fingers on her clit.

“Fuck.” She groans. Her breathing gets heavier and faster and she bites his bottom lip to stifle her cry. She bucks into his hand as she climaxes.

“Okay.” He breathes, and pushes her back over the desk. He grips both of her hips and gives it to her full forces. “Good?” He grunts.

“Y-yeah!” She gasps. With each stroke he was hitting deeper and deeper, brushing her g-spot. “D-don’t stop.”

He could feel his orgasm bubbling at the base of spine, and his stomach was starting to tighten. She was squeezing around him, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could last, especially when he looks down at the way her ass bounces back against him.

“Shit, fuck.” He moans out as he releases into the condom and he gasps when he feels her squeeze around him again, another release of her own coinciding.

He pulls out of her slowly and wraps the condom in a tissue before throwing it away. He didn’t need Greg giving him a tough time. He pulls his pants back up all the way and watches as she does the same.

“Sorry, I don’t have any rags in here, uh-“

“It’s okay, I’ll just go use the bathroom.” She wipes his fingers under eyes and looks at herself using the camera on her phone. Her voice was a little hoarse now, so she takes a sip of her almost forgotten drink. She makes a relieved noise once the cool liquid hits her throat. “Look at that.” She says, pointing to the clock on the wall. “You’ve got two minutes to spare.” She winks and leaves him standing there.

“Holy shit.” He says to himself as he makes sure the office is in order. He scarfs down a granola bar, and heads back into the bar. He looks for Y/N, he wanted to make sure she was okay.

There she was, back on the dancefloor with her friends. She was grinding back against one of her friends, who could only assume was one of her friends, he could easily be her second fuck for the night. Harry furrows his brows and then snaps out of it. It was a simple one-night-stand, if one could even call it that, he felt good after his release.

Last call on a Saturday night never failed to irritate Harry. There was usually a few different girls that stayed until the last second to try to pick him up, but he never went. Those girls were usually way too drunk, and it just wasn’t worth it to him. He was behind the bar now, helping the bar tenders get the last few orders in, and square up some tabs. He sees Y/N walk up to the bar with one of her friends.

“I’ve got it, Y/N.” Conor says.

“No, you’re not paying for me again.”

“Technically Danny got all the drinks last night.”

“Yeah, so it’s my turn.”

“Your money’s no good. Hey, man, put everything of hers on Donovan.” Conor says to Harry and he nods.

“No! I can pay for my own drinks!” She laughs at her friend. “You’re the worst.”

“We’re just taking care of you, Y/N.” Conor puts his arm around her and she leans her head on his shoulder.

“Here.” Harry slides the card and receipt to Conor. He looks at Y/N and she looks at him, a grin growing on her face, and a blush growing on his. “Have a good night.” He says more so to her.

“I don’t think it could get much better than it already is.” She says to him.

“Not true, we’re gonna go stuff our faces with pizza and have a group snuggle, what’s better than that?” Conor says to her as he signs the slip and leaves a decent tip.

“Oh, god, yeah, I really need to snuggle right now.” She says to her friend with a pout.

“I’ll bet.” He winks at her and leads her away from the bar.

Harry’s face turns beat red. Did she tell them what she went off to go do? He didn’t want rumors being spread that the bouncer fucks. He needed to keep some authority, after all. People start leaving, and others linger until the lights flip on at closing. Harry helps clean up and gets everyone out of the bar. He hadn’t seen Y/N again, but that was okay.

“So, you had a good break.” Niall teases him as they head to their apartment, which was conveniently just above the bar.

“What do you mean?”

“Saw you go into the office with that girl.”

“So what if I did?” Harry shrugs. “Not like you haven’t done it before.”

“Oh, I’m not judging at all, please know that. I’m more so just shocked. Usually you shoot every person that flirts with you down.”

“I know, I don’t really know what came over me, but she was hot so.” He shrugs again. “I’m going to bed, I’m exhausted.”

“I’m sure you.” Niall nudges him as they make their separate ways to their rooms.

//

Y/N woke up spooning Rob, and with Drew spooning her. Not the most unusual way to wake up with her friends. She felt gross as she sat up. She was cozy in some borrowed sweats, but there was an ache in her stomach and between her legs. The stomach was easily from the amount of sugar she had from the cranberry juice in her drinks, and between her legs, well, a sexy bouncer comes to mind for that.

Everyone slowly gets up and they all decide to go out for brunch, just like old times. They laugh and reminisce over the fun the weekend brought them all.

“Wait, so did you really hook up with that dude?” Mike asks.

“Mhm.” She giggles as she sips her coffee. “It was good too.”

“Define good.” Rob says.

“I had two orgasms that I didn’t have to conjure up myself, I’d say that’s pretty good.” She says bluntly and they all laugh.

“Do you think you’ll try to see him again?” Conor asks.

“Oh god, I have no idea. I have no reason to go to the bar unless you all are here.”

“You could always go down with Mike on trivia night or something.” Drew says.

“Mm, no, I don’t like going out on work nights. I’m always way too tired the next morning.”

“You don’t have to drink. Come on, when was the last time we went to trivia night?” Mike says.

“True…maybe next week? I don’t wanna seem too eager, you know? I’m not really looking for anything serious right now, and I don’t need him thinking I’m stalking him.”

“Don’t force her, man, if she just wants it to be a one night stand she can leave it as that.” Danny says.

“See, he gets it.” She says.

//

Harry had thought of the pretty girl he fucked in his boss’ office only a couple of times, and then he slowly let her slip away. He had class and schoolwork to occupy his head. The same could be said for Y/N. Harry had left some after affects, but he slowly faded in her mind as well.

Well, it had faded until she was mindlessly swiping through Bumble one night, and she came across his profile. Even if she hadn’t already met him, she would have liked him. He really did have a nice smile, and his pictures weren’t the standard douchebag pictures. She decides to swipe right and see what happens. She wasn’t sure how often he used the app, if at all, but she was interested to see if she’d see anything from him.

On a Sunday evening, after getting some homework done, Harry went on to Bumble to see if he had any notifications. He used the app less and less as he didn’t want to accidentally hook up with someone that might be too young for him. His eyes widen when he comes across Y/N’s profile.

“So she is from around here.” He says to himself. He had thought maybe you had just come into town for that weekend for some fun with friends. He takes a leap of faith and swipes right. He smirks when he sees it’s a match.

Harry preferred Bumble to the other “dating” apps out there. He never wanted to make someone uncomfortable, so he liked that the girl had to message first.

Y/N was just getting out of the shower when she saw the notification from Bumble that she had a new match. Her jaw drops when she sees that it’s Harry.

Y/N: let’s go out on Friday night…I matched with that bouncer on Bumble…but I’d rather talk in person

Mike: sounds like a plan to me! I’ll be the perfect wingman

Y/N: don’t think I exactly need your help for that lol

Mike: maybe you can be mine then

Y/N: deal

//

Harry had completely forgotten about the Bumble thing until he saw Y/N strolling down the hill with Mike. She gets her ID ready for him.

“Is there a cover tonight?” She asks him. His gaze on her was intense, like they both knew about the giant elephant looming around them.

“No band tonight.”

“Ah.”

He checks Mike’s ID, and the two go inside. The sit down at the bar after Mike makes up a bowl of popcorn.

“Don’t let me drink too much.” She tells him. “I’m gonna try to nurse a vodka-lemonade for a bit.”

“You got it. Hey, maybe you could give me another shot of showing you how to play pool?”

“I’m looking to get laid again, I don’t need to make a fool of myself, Michael.”

“He could think it’s cute, maybe he could teach you.”

“He’s on the job.”

After the nightly rush, Harry’s relieved from the cold, and comes inside to do his other duties. He gathers up empty glasses, cleans up anything that’s spilled, and goes behind the bar. He notices Y/N about halfway done with her drink.

“Are you gonna want another?”

“I could certainly use another blue moon.” Mike grins at Harry and he nods.

Y/N watches as Harry’s muscles flex as he pulls the tap. He grabs an orange wedge to put on the lip of the glass and slides it over to Mike.

“Thanks.” Mike throws a couple of singles on the bar and Harry pockets them.

“Well?”

“Trying to get me drunk?” She smirks. “Thought you might like me a little more sober.”

Harry smirks and leans on the bar so he can talk a little closer to her.

“Don’t tell me you came all the way down here just to see me again?”

“Maybe.” She shrugs and takes a careful sip of her drink. “What time you off?”

“Two.”

“Places closes at 1:30…”

“Mhm, and then I have side-work. You don’t have to wait if you don’t want to.”

“No…I’ll wait.” She looks at her watch. “It’s only a couple of hours anyways.”

Harry nods and walks away to get back to work. Mike gives Y/N a thumbs up of approval.

“Well, if you won’t play pool with me, will you at least go dance with me once I’m done with this drink?”

“Oh, without question.”

There were plenty of people on the dancefloor. Y/N didn’t love coming to the bar often, only because sometimes she’d run into some of her student workers and it could get a little awkward. For the most part, things seemed safe. She was having a great time with Mike, but her eyes kept scanning the room for Harry. Once in a while they’d lock eyes and smile awkwardly, fully knowing what was most likely going to go down at the end of the night. When 1:30 hit, she let Mike go square up his tab so she could chat with Harry.

“So…” She says as she approaches him. He was putting chairs on top of tables.

“Mine or yours?” He asks bluntly. “I live right upstairs, but if you felt more comfortable at your place then-“

“Yours.” She smiles. “Yours sounds good.” Y/N didn’t like bringing men home that she didn’t know all that well. His place was better.

“Okay.” He looks around the bar and furrows his brows. “You gotta get rid of your friend, we’re not really supposed to let a lot of people hang around.”

“Oh, alright, well, where should I wait?”

“Take a seat at the bar, it’s fine.”

She nods and goes over to Mike to say goodnight. He winks at her and tells her to call if she needs anything. Niall was running around with Harry mopping the floors and cleaning everything up while the bartenders cleaned up the bar. They gave Y/N a couple of knowing looks, but other than that no one seemed phased that she was waiting for him.

“Hang down here a minute.” Harry says to Niall. “I’d like to get her in my room first.”

“Say no more, I’m actually headed to a little cutie’s of my own.” Niall winks. “Have fun.” He says as he heads out.

“Y/N?” She turns to look at him. “Ready?”

“Mhm.” She smiles and follows him up a set of stairs.

Harry unlocks the door to let them both in and she looks around. It was a decent enough set up.

“Can I get you anything?” He asks as he closes the door.

“No, I’m all set.” She presses him against the wall and wraps her arms around his neck. “There’s really only one thing I want from you, anyways.”

He leans down to kiss her, and her fingers lace through his hair. His hands slide down her sides to her butt, to the backs of her thighs.

“Jump.” He says, and she does so. She kisses on his neck as he carries her to his room.

He doesn’t bother with the light, he just kicks his door shut, the only light in the room coming in through the shades from the street lights. He gets her on his bed and they both work to get each other’s clothes off. He gets her jeans off and she lays back as he kisses on the fleshy parts of the tops of her breasts. She tugs his shirt off and runs her hands up and down his torso. She could just make out some of the tattoos he had. Interesting, she thinks.

“You have condoms?” She asks as he unhooks her bra.

“Yeah.”

She hum in approval and lets him continue getting to know her body. He swirls his tongue around one of her nipples before sucking on it. His hand goes between her legs, and rubs her covered clit. She feels him pull the material to the side, and then she feels him slip his middle finger in, the cool from his rings causing her to gasp.

“You were really tight last time, did I hurt you?” He mumbles against her neck as he gently sucks on her skin.

“N-no, I would have told you if it hurt.”

Harry kisses her as he slides another finger inside her warm center. Her mouth falls open as his thumb rubs her puffy clit. She reaches between them, and pets him over his boxers. He groans into her neck and starts pumping his fingers faster, curling them, hoping to find that spot of hers.

“Oh, oh!” She gasps. “Just like that, oh fuck, please don’t stop!” She has to clutch at the blankets on his bed to ground herself.

He kneads her breast with his other hand, and wraps his lips back around her other nipple, consuming just about all of her senses. She was panting and moaning and squeezing around his fingers. He feels her pulse around him and her legs twitch as she comes to her release.

“Shit.” She breathes with a smile on her face. “You’re good at that.”

“Don’t it’ll go right to my head.” He smirks. “Let me go get a condom.” He kisses her forehead before getting up to rummage through his desk drawer.

Y/N wriggles out of her now drenched panties, and tosses them somewhere on the floor, and gets more comfortable on his bed. As good as the office sex was she was sort of happy to be somewhere they could do a little more.

“Ready for me?” He asks as he gets on the bed.

“Mhm.”

He parts her legs and gets situated between them, running his tip along her folds and clit. She lifts her hips towards him, and it makes him good knowing how impatient she was. He pushes inside her and bottoms out.

“Jesus!” She gasps.

“You’re so fucking tight.” He grunts as he starts to move.

“I think you’re just big.” She moans as he rocks in and out of her. “Not complaining though.”

He comes down closer to her, and hooks one of her legs under his arm to thrust in deeper. It has her head rolling back. She gets a fistful of his hair and he moans as she tugs on it.

“You like that, huh?” She says into his ear and she feels him nod yes. Harry nibbles on her earlobe before responding.

“What do you like?” His deep voice in hear ear was enough to send her flying to the moon.

“God, anything you wanna do to me I think I’d like.” He moves to look at her with a raise eyebrow. “Within reason of course.”

“Wanna get on top?”

“Sure.”

He pulls out and shifts to sit up against the headboard. She was a little surprised since most guys liked to lay flat when she rode them, but she wasn’t going to watch him on it. She swings her leg of his lap to properly sink down on him. When she starts to move he stops her.

“I wanted you on top, that doesn’t mean you need to do anything.” He pecks her lips and thrusts him into her, her mouth forming an ‘O’. “Deeper, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She licks into his mouth as he grips her hips to move her on and off his cock. “Fuck.” She whispers in his ear. She was going to come soon, and she knew it. She wanted to hold on a little longer, but she also just really wanted to let go. “H-Harry, fuck, I-“

“Go on, come, Y/N.”

She cries out into his neck, tugging his hair maybe a little too hard. She just misses the moan he lets out as he spills into the condom. They stay there like that for a moment before she gets off him.

“Bathroom?” She says, reaching for the shirt he was wearing earlier.

“Just down the hall on the left.”

“Great, thanks.” She slips out the door and Harry gets his boxers on after throwing the condom out. She comes back in and shines her flashlight on the floor to find her clothes. “It’s really late, you can crash if you want.”

“Oh, that’s alright.” She says. “I’ll sleep better in my own bed. Besides, the last thing I need to run into any of the students on my way home in the morning.”

“Do you, um, work at the university?” He hadn’t even thought to ask.

“Yeah.” She tugs her jeans on and snatches her shirt from the floor.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why didn’t you message me after matched?”

“Oh.” She blushes. “I don’t know…I like doing these things in person better.”

“Me too. I only swiped to see if you did.”

“So, you’re not, like, seeing anyone else?”

“Not on the regular, no. What about you?” She shakes her head no at him. “Do you want my number?”

“And what would I do with it?” She smirks.

“Use it to give me a heads up if you’re coming to the bar or…or if you just want me after one of my shifts.” She bites her bottom lip and hands him her phone. He puts his number in and texts himself. “Can I give you a ride home or anything?”

“No, I’m parked right out on the street, actually, but thank you.”

“Well, let me at least walk you out there.”

“Okay.”

Harry throws on some sweats and leads Y/N out. He walks her down to her car, and he presses her up against it, kissing her before letting her go. Once her car is out of sight he heads back up to his room. He wasn’t sure how often they’d communicate, but at least he knew if she didn’t feel like waiting for him in the bar, they could just plan it out better.

//

Y/N didn’t want to come off as greedy or clingy. She didn’t want to text him every time she felt like getting railed, but she couldn’t stop thinking about his dick, or how he used it. He was careful and aggressive all at the same time. She could tell he respected her, maybe all women in general, just by the way he would check in. It was a wonder to her how no one else was fucking him, well, maybe they were. Just because he said he didn’t have anything else on the regular didn’t mean he didn’t have an assortment of numbers in his phone. The following Saturday night she couldn’t sleep, and before she even had a chance to text him, he texted her.

Harry: you up?

Now, usually a text like that would make her eyes roll out of her head, but it was nice coming from him. He was clearly up because it was one in the morning and he was working. If anything it was courteous.

Y/N: yeah

Harry: how come?

Y/N: couldn’t sleep

Harry: maybe I could come tire you out when I get off work

Y/N: you know, I love a home remedy as opposed to taking a pill, so that sounds good to me, I’ll text you my address

Harry: 👍

Y/N bites her bottom lip and springs out of bed. She wanted to tidy up a little before he got there. Maybe they could just fuck on her couch or something. She wasn’t sure if she wanted him in her room just yet, but it might not be up to her when he gets there. She’d let him fuck her where he wanted. She wanted to make herself look cute, but she wasn’t sure how much he’d really care. She decides to change into a tank top and shorts as she waits for him.

Around 2:15AM there’s a knock on her door, jolting her awake from the couch.

“I’m getting too old for this.” She says as she rubs her eyes. She gets up and opens the door for him. “Hi, Ha-mph!”

He cuts her off by cupper her jaw and kissing her. He kicks her door closed, and picks her up.

“Sorry I’m late, where’s your room?” The girl simply points him in the direction of where to go and she lets him carry her there. “I even tried to leave early, but these idiots were causing problems.” He says as he gets his shoes and socks off, along with his shirt. “I had to break up this fight and it was a whole thing.” He unbuckles his belt and lets his pants drop to the floor.

“No worries, I figured you’d get here eventually.” She shrugs and works on getting herself naked. “You promised to help tire me out, after all.”

“That I did.” He smirks and pulls her towards him for a searing kiss.

Harry pushes her back on the bed, and kisses down her body. Her skin felt soft and smelled cocoa butter, she must have put lotion on before he got there. He looks up at her just as he reaches her naval.

“Can I?”

“Can you what?”

“Eat you out.”

“Oh! Um, only if you really want to.”

“Do you want me to?”

“Well, yeah, but only if you want to also. I don’t like when guys just do it to do it, you know?”

“I can assure you that’s not the type of guy I am.”

“Okay.”

He kisses and sucks on her inner thigh, marking her up, and then he licks a flat stripe up her center. He does this a few times, just getting a feel for how she tastes, and then he swirls the tip of his tongue around her clit.

“Shit.” She breathes. “Found it pretty fast.” She pushes some hair out of his face as he smirks up at her.

“S’not rocket science.”

Before she can say anything she’s gasping as he sucks on her clit. She gets a grip on his hair as she grits her teeth. He works her up, almost to the brink, and then he drags his tongue around her folds. He licks into her center and she cries out from the warm feeling of his tongue. His thumb rubs circles into her clit as continues to give her the best head she’s ever had. Every time he moaned against her she moaned louder. She couldn’t believe he was enjoying it so much. Her legs were starting to shake around him and she just wanted to close him in around her, but he had his other hand pressed firmly on one of her thighs to keep her open.

“Oh my god, oh my god!” Her back arches off the bed as she comes on his tongue. He laps her up before kissing up her body. “Let me put my mouth on you too.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” He lays down next to her. “But come sit on me and I’ll do you at the same time.”

“Fuck, really?”

“Yeah.”

Y/N feels giddy as she situates herself over Harry’s head. She leans forward to get him out of his boxers. His hard dick slaps back against his stomach. She spits into her and grips him. She feels him jolt underneath her and she chuckles. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to concentrate on giving him a blow job while he was slurping away at her again, but she’d do her best. She gives him a few pumps before wrapping her lips around his tip. He groans into her and squeezes the backs of her thighs. She sinks lower on him and bobs up and down. She has to dig her nails into one of his thighs to keep herself from gagging on him. She decides to focus on sucking his tip and pumping the rest.

“I’m gonna come if you keep doing that.” He tells hers, but she doesn’t let up. He starts panting and fingers her because he just can’t use his mouth on her right now.

“Oh, fuck, don’t’ stop.” She pops off him to say and then goes back to sucking him off.

She comes around his fingers just as his hot come shoots up into her throat. He hears her gulp as she swallows and then she licks his tip clean. She rolls off him and giggles, he giggles too, and she props herself up on her elbows to look at him.

“What?”

“Think that’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh.”

“Chalk it up to being lightheaded.” He sighs. “Just give me a minute, and then I’ll fuck you.”

“If you’re too tired, we don’t have to-“

“M’not tired, I just need a second.” He gives her ankle a squeeze.

“Want some water?”

“Sure, that’d be great.”

She gets up and quickly shuffles into her kitchen to get a glass of water. She takes a sip first before going back into her bedroom. She hands it to him and he thanks her. She knees onto the bed and sits next to him.

“You have condoms?” He asks.

“Mhm.” She reaches over into her bed side table takes one out.

“Alright, I’m ready if you are.” He says, taking it from her.

“If I lay on my stomach, will you get on top and fuck me from behind?”

“Uh, yeah.” He clears his throat. He liked a girl that was blunt and forward.

She smiles and gets on her stomach for him. He parts her lips and slides in, she was still plenty wet. She groans into her pillow as he rocks in and out of her. He snakes his hand between her and the bed to rub her clit.

“God, you’re so attentive.” She says, looking over her shoulder at him in amazement.

He smirks at her and gives her a bum a smack before pushing her head back down into the pillow. His chest was flush with her back, and they were moving in a perfect rhythm with each other. She was white knuckling her blankets feeling the damn about to break again.

“Oh, shit, fuck, Harry!” She cries out as she comes again. He gives her a few harsh thrusts before he fills the condom up. Once he pulls out she rolls onto her back. “Trash is over there.” She breathes, pointing to the can in the corner.

“Thanks.”

“I’ll be right back.” She gets up and slips out to use the bathroom. He’s just pulling his boxers on when she comes back. She throws on a large tee shirt to cover herself up a bit.

“Tired now?” He smirks at her.

“Very.” She chuckles. “Um…it’s, like, almost four in the morning…you can stay if you don’t feel like driving.”

“Oh, um, that would be great actually…if you’re sure.”

“Yeah, I don’t mind.”

Harry nods and stands up.

“Bathroom?”

“Just outside the door on the right.”

“Thanks.”

Y/N hadn’t let a guy sleep over in a while, but it would only be for a few hours, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Harry comes back in a few moments later smelling like mint.

“Used some of your mouth wash, hope that’s alright.”

“It’s fine.” She smiles and gets settled into bed with him. “Well, goodnight.”

“Night.”

She rolls over and he turns with her, spooning her. She adjusts into him, getting especially comfy, and before she knows it, she’s drifting off, and so is he.

The next morning, Y/N wakes up to the sounds of Harry rustling about getting his clothes on.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay.” She yawns with a stretch of her arms. “Do you want me to make some coffee or…?”

“No, I’m gonna crash when I get back, I just wanted to get out of your hair.” He runs a hand through his hair. “That was fun, last night.”

“Mhm.” She smiles and curls up in her blankets. “It’s been fun every time.”

“What if, uh, I mean, would you want to make this a regular thing? My schedule is the way it is, so relationships are tough, but this…is easier.”

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t want a relationship right now, but having sex with a hot guy is certainly something I’d like to continue doing.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Yes.”

“Cool.” He smiles and knees onto the bed to peck her lips.

“What time does your shift usually start? Not that I don’t love waiting up until after two in the morning, but I’m not usually awake that late.”

“Oh, right, um, I usually go in around seven. I help out at the end of the dinner rush. Get the place set up and all that.”

“I usually get out of work around 4:30 most days…”

“I typically have Sundays and Mondays off too, just FYI.”

“You know, I think this could work out well.” She smiles.

“So do I.” He kisses her again before getting off the bed. “I’ll text you later, or, I don’t know maybe you could text me first.” He says sarcastically.

“I was actually going to text you last night, but you got to me first.” She giggles.

“Right.” He rolls his eyes. “See ya later, Y/N.”

“Bye, Harry.”

//

“You’ve been exceptionally chipper lately.” Y/N’s colleague, Lilly, says at lunch on Monday.

“I’m getting laid, that’s why.” Y/N was close with Lilly, it wasn’t unusual for them to have a conversation like this.

“Oh? With who?”

“Do you ever go down to the Yard Dog?”

“The bar where all the students go?” She laughs. “No.”

“Okay, well I go there when my friends come to visit because it’s nostalgic for us, you know? Anyways, there’s this bouncer that works there…and one thing led to another one night and I fucked him in the back office of the building.”

“Oh shit.”

“I know! And then we matched on Bumble a little later, so I went to the bar again, and I waited for him and we fucked at his place, and then the other day he came to my place. We have a regular thing going now.”

“Damn…is it the British guy?”

“Yeah! His name is Harry, do you know him?”

“Yeah, I recruited him for the MBA program.” Lilly worked with international students at the graduate level. Y/N worked in grad admissions as well, but at the domestic level. “I told him to look for a job down there, guess he listened.”

“He’s nice enough, quiet, and sort of intimidating, but he’s nice to me.”

“Well, that’s all that matters.” She laughs. “When do you think you’ll see him again?”

“I don’t know…I was thinking of texting him to come over tonight because he doesn’t work on Monday nights…is that too eager?”

“No way. It’s been established that you’re using each other for a specific service, I say go for it.”

“Right, like, it’s just sex, it’s not like I need to make him dinner or anything.”

“Don’t offer him any food at all. As soon as you share a meal with the person you’re sleeping with, it becomes more.”

“Shit, you’re right…good call.”

“It’s what I’m here for.”

After lunch Y/N goes back to her office and contemplates texting Harry. It really shouldn’t be this difficult, they agreed to make it a regular thing, she should be able to just let him know what she wants.

Y/N: hey, Harry…are you free around 7 tonight?

She sent it, and took a deep breath. It’s fine, this is fine.

Harry: I can be, my place or yours?

She nearly squeals when she sees the response.

Y/N: could we do mine if it’s not too much trouble?

Harry: no trouble at all, see you then

“I could give him some wine or something.” She says to herself. “I know I’ll need to have a glass.”

//

Y/N wasn’t sure what she should wear. Should she stay in her work clothes, which she looked awfully cute in, or should she put something sexier on? Would he even care? She groans to herself as she goes to change into a nicer set of underwear. Maybe he’d appreciate some lace.

“I should really go shopping for some lingerie.” She huffs. Y/N did, however, have a silk robe, so that paired with the lacey underwear would be good enough.

She goes into her kitchen and gets two glasses down, and fills one just under halfway with some sweet red wine. She takes a generous sip, and sighs. There’s a knock at the door, and she goes to answer. She has to keep herself from drooling when she sees him. He was dressed so differently. Usually he was in all black, but tonight he was wearing a long sleeve blue shirt with the first few buttons undone, and a dark blue pair of jeans. He was wearing a black jacket to tie the whole thing together along with a beanie.

“Hey, come on in.” She smiles as he steps inside.

“Getting bloody cold out.” He says as you close the door. “You look cozy.”

“Cozy?” She pouts at him.

“Cute.” He says as he shrugs his jacket off. She unties her robe to slightly reveal how little she has on underneath. “Sexy.”

“Much better.” She giggles. “Would you like a glass of wine or anything?”

“No, thanks.”

He grabs her and holds her from behind. He kisses her cheek, her jaw, and then her neck. She cranes it to give him better access, and he walks her over to the couch. He slides her robe off and turns her around.

“Very sexy.” He pecks her lips. “You wore this for me?”

“I just wanted to look nice.” She starts unbuttoning the rest of his shirt. “Let’s go to the bedroom, it’s comfier.”

Harry nods and follows her in. He cups her jaw as she undoes his pants, and he licks into her mouth. She palms him over his boxers, and he bucks closer into her hand.

“Really wanted my dick tonight, hm?”

“Mhm.”

She puts her hands on his hips and pushes him to sit down on the bed. She sucks on his bottom lips and kisses her way down his stomach until she’s on her knees in front of him. She tugs his boxers off and looks up at him as she wraps her lips around his tip. He runs a soothing hand through her hair and keeps it out of her face for her. She sinks lower on him before popping all the way off and taking him in her hand. She brings her lips back to his tip and just rubs it around her low lip before licking over his slit.

“Feels amazing, Y/N.” His head rolls back momentarily, but he doesn’t want to miss a second, so he forces himself to look back down. “I don’t wanna wait to fuck you…”

She sucks on him a little longer before getting back up. She takes a condom out from one of the cups of her bra and hands it to him as she wiggles out of her panties. She unhooks her bra and lets it drop to the floor. He grabs her hips and turns her around. She sits in his lap as he lines himself up and she moans out. He reaches around front to rub her clit while she moves up and down on him. She turns to face him and she licks into his mouth. She swallows a groan from him. His other hand kneads her breast, and he kisses on her shoulder, biting down just enough to make her gasp. Her head rolls back to his shoulder.

“H-Harry.” She whimpers.

He thrusts up inside her, and she loses all control. She lets him move her, bounce her, whatever she wants. His fingers on her clit felt incredible. Y/N had hooked up with plenty of guys, but Harry was so different. He was attentive. He asked the important questions, and nothing more. She didn’t need to get to know him other than his body, and he felt the same way about her. This was perfect.

“Y/N I’m gonna come.” He grunts into her ear.

“M-me too.” She pants.

She feels him fill up the condom just as she’s coming around him. He peppers her neck and shoulder with kisses before he helps her off of him. She grabs a tee shirt to throw on while he grabs all of his clothes to get dressed.

“Thanks for coming by.” She says as she walks him to the door.

“Thanks for the invite.” He smirks as he gets his beanie back on.

“I felt bad since it was sort of short notice.”

“Gave you my number for a reason, didn’t I? Never be afraid to use it.” He hooks an arm around her waist and pulls her in for a kiss. “Have a good night.”

“You too.” She smiles and so does he. He leaves shortly after that.

Y/N finishes her glass of wine, takes a shower, and puts herself to sleep. She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

//

Things continued you like that for a few weeks. Sometimes Y/N would go over to Harry’s before his shift for a quickie, or if she could stay up, he’d zip over to her place after his shift. If it was a particularly late night, they would sleepover, but other than that they wouldn’t. Not that the either didn’t offer, they were both polite people.

“You seeing that girl again this weekend?” Niall says to Harry as he whips up dinner on Thursday.

“No, I have a weekend intensive, I’m getting an elective out of the way.”

“Are you still working?!”

“I am tonight, but I have Friday and Saturday night off. I couldn’t pass up the tips on ladies night.”

“I hear that.” Niall sets a plate of pancakes in front of Harry.

“Thanks.” He takes a bite. “Do you think I should let her know I won’t be around this weekend?”

“Like ahead of time?”

“Yeah, like, what if she texts me expecting me to come right over and I can’t? I’d feel bad.”

“You could just sext with her.” Niall smirks as he takes a bite of his own pancakes. “You said she was pretty good at that.”

“She’s better than good. She’s a fucking wordsmith.” Harry smiles. “But I’ll be working on the rest of the projects for class, so I won’t have time for that either.”

“So give her a heads up, then no one needs to feel rejected.” Niall shrugs.

“Maybe I should tell her in person, I’m a gentleman after all.”

“Or you wanna bone one more time before having to focus on school.”

“Let’s go with both.”

Harry: wanna come over quick before my shift?

Y/N: god yes, stressful day at work, definitely need the distraction

Harry: cool, come by whenever

“She’s coming over, make yourself scarce.” Harry says to Niall.

“You got it, I’m actually going down to bus some tables for a little extra money.”

Y/N comes over to Harry’s about twenty minutes later, and barely gives him a chance to say hello before she’s kissing him. He carries her to his room, and finally gets a breath in.

“How do you want it, Y/N?” He says against her lips as his hands slide down to her ass.

“I want you to bend me over the bed and fuck me so hard I forget my own name.”

Both of his eyebrows shoot up.

“Shit, you really did have a stressful day, huh?” He caresses one of her cheeks.

“Yeah, I did.” She bites her bottom lip. “But I didn’t come here to talk about it.”

He kisses her again and starts undoing her pants. He knew what she needed, and he was happy to give it to her. Normally he would have taken more time to prep her, but he really did need to be quick so he wasn’t late for work. Once they’re both naked, and he has a condom on, he bends her over his bed, and pushes inside her. She clutches at the blankets as he slams in and out of her.

“Just like that, fuck, Harry!” She moves her ass back against him to feel even more, and it makes him moan out.

“You’re so fucking sexy.” He grunts. “Like it when I give it to you like this?”

“Yes!”

“I want you to come for me.”

“I’m really close, just keep going.” She was starting to pant and squirm.

“Yeah? You’re close?”

“So close, I..oh fuck!”

She releases around him, and he spills into the condom shortly after. He pulls out and helps her stand up. She faces him and wraps her arms around his neck. She slots her mouth over his and he groans into it.

“Fuck, I…I wanna go again, but it would look bad to be late when I live right here.”

“No, it’s okay, um…I’m gonna be busy this weekend, like, I’ll even barely be on my phone.”

“Me too, actually, it’s why I invited you over tonight.” He smiles and steps back to throw the condom away. She starts putting her clothes back on.

“How kind of you.” She laughs as she wipes the smudged makeup under her eyes.

“Feeling better?” He asks as he puts his own clothes on. The ones she’s more familiar with.

“Yeah, thanks.” She smiles. “It’s too bad you have to get right to work.” She puts her hands on his shoulders. “These black shirts look too fucking good on you.”

“Really? I always thought it was the tight jeans.” He smirks.

“That too, your ass is perfect.” She gives him a little pinch and pecks his lips. “Guess we’ll just talk next week?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

“Okay, have a good weekend.”

“You too.”

Harry sighs happily as he goes into his bathroom to fix his hair before his shift. He grabs his jacket and heads down to go outside and starting manning the door. It was the same as ever, lots of pretty girls flirting with him, and him having to turn half of them away because they’re underage. Later on Harry and one of the bartenders to take bets to see who Niall was going to take home later.

“What about you?” Ryan says. “Gonna try to get lucky?”

“Nah, got my fill earlier.” Harry says as he wipes down the bar with a rag. “Plus, all these girls are wasted, you know I don’t play that.”

“True, you’re definitely one of the good ones.” He claps his hand on Harry’s shoulder and gives him a squeeze before going to grab more empty glasses.

Harry didn’t see it like that. Guy or girl, if someone was drunk, he declined any offer he got. It just didn’t feel right to him.

//

Y/N had the day off from work Friday, but only because she had a weekend intensive for grad school. It was an elective she was trying to get out of the way. All of the other classes she had to take were online, but she thought it would be nice to just get this over with in a weekend. It would be a class of twelve people, she just hoped it wouldn’t be awkward.

She gets into the building, and finds the classroom. A couple of people were there already. She finds a spot to sit down and set her things up. There was a poster that was due on the first day. Weekend intensives involved a lot of prep work. She gets her laptop out and sips on her coffee.

Harry was exhausted. He didn’t get off work until nearly 2:30 because people didn’t want to leave the bar. When his alarm went off, he was not looking forward to spending the day with a bunch of people he didn’t know. He was interested in the subject matter, and almost excited to present his poster, he just could have easily done it all in an online class. His eyes were too tired for contacts, so he goes for his glasses. He throws his beanie on, a sweater, and a nice pair of jeans, and heads out. He grabs a cup of coffee before heading for the academic building. He walks in and scans the room. There were a few people there. His eyes widen when he sees Y/N. He wasn’t sure what do. Should he ignore her? Should he sit next to her? Before he can decide she happens to look up and make eye contact with him. He sighs and makes his way over to her table and sits down.

“Thought you just worked here.” He says as he sets his things down.

“I do…but I’m also in grad school. I’m taking this as an elective.”

“Same here. What program are you in?”

“Education, you?”

“MBA.”

“Nice.” She nods. “And here we were thinking we wouldn’t see each other all weekend.”

“Mm, lucky us.” He smirks.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses.” She rests her chin on her palm.

“Something tells me we’re going to get to know each other fairly well in the next forty-eight hours.” He leans back in his chair with his arms crossed. “You okay with that?”

“I don’t quite think I have a choice. It’s not the end of the world, it’s sort of nice to know someone.”

“Yeah, we could grab lunch or something.” He says it nonchalantly as he takes his laptop out of his bag.

“Yeah.” She nods. “Or something.” She winks at him and he smiles as he rolls his eyes.

The professor comes in shortly after, and has everyone sit in a circle. Everyone explains what program they’re in, why they’re in grad school, and what career aspirations they may have. Y/N and Harry were already learning a lot about each other. For example, he thought it was extremely ironic that Y/N recruited students to come get their grad degrees, and she herself didn’t have one yet.

Next, the professor had them all work on a craft project. They had to build these towers that had all these different components. They could listen to their own music and just work away. Harry and Y/N occasionally glanced at each other, but they did their best to focus.

“Okay everyone, it’s time for lunch! Afterwards, we’ll come back and present our towers.” The professor says.

They look at each other awkwardly.

“Our break is an hour and a half.” Harry says to her.

“I don’t need that long to eat, do you?”

“Nah, well…” He smirks at her and she blushes.

“I don’t live that far from here, um…if you wanna just come to my place to eat.”

“Sure.” He shrugs. “Want me to drive, or?”

“No, I can.” She grabs her keys and he follows her out.

Once they’re in Y/N’s apartment, he’s got her laying on the couch with his head between her legs. She tugs at his hair as she squirms underneath him.

“I-I thinking you were hungry than you let on!”

He groans against her in response, and slides two fingers into her as he sucks on her clit. He looks up at her/ She looks down at him, confused for a moment, and then her mouth falls open when he slides a third finger inside her. He pumps them in and out of her slowly to not hurt her. His tongue flicks back and forth on her clit, and she tugs harder on his hair.

“H-Harry!” Her back arches as she comes. He sits up and licks his lips, and his fingers, before undoing his pants. He tugs them down enough to get his dick out. “Condom.” She breathes and points to the side table.

“You keep them in your living room now?” He chuckles as he reaches into the drawer to get one.

“Are you making fun of easy access?”

“Not at all, you’re resourceful.”

He rolls the condom on and moves to hover her. He pushes inside and she wraps her legs around his waist. He bites her bottom lip and sucks on it as he rocks in and out of her. He bottoms out and she gasps. He smirks against her lips and keeps thrusting into the same spot.

“Oh my god.” She moans. “Fuck, that feels so good.”

“Right there?”

“Yeah, right there, don’t stop.” Her breathing gets heavier, and he can feel her tightening around him. She cries out as she comes, and he follows suit.

On the drive back to campus things are quiet, but not uncomfortable. They both head into the classroom, and sit down. Harry takes out the lunch he packed and digs in, Y/N does the same. Once everyone is back, the professor has the class present their towers. It was an oddly emotional experience. Some tears were shed, and there was no judgement whatsoever. Y/N was stunned when it was Harry’s turn. He got choked up when he had to talk about his family. It was just him and his sister. They both needed a change of scenery, so he came to get his grad degree in the states, and she moved to France. That was about all he was willing to say, which was fine.

After the towers are done, there’s a quick bathroom break, and then they get into the poster presentations. Harry found Y/N to be extremely intelligent. She clearly knew what she was talking about. He briefly wondered how such a smart, beautiful girl could be single. Then again, he knew how little free time there was while working full time and going to school. He knew he didn’t have time for a relationship, anyways. Nor was he emotionally available enough for one, but that was a separate story.

“I want to thank you all for the wonderful work you did today. Nothing to work on tonight, as I know today was draining. Tomorrow, we’ll be talking about the readings that were assigned ahead of time.”

It was 8PM, and Y/N was exhausted. Harry happened to park in the same lot as her, so he walks her to her car.

“That was better than I was expecting.” She says.

“Yeah, wasn’t terrible. Sort of flew by.”

“I can’t wait to crawl into bed and just pass out.”

“Same here.” He hits the unlock button for his car. He runs a hand through his hair. “Well, see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” She smiles. “Thanks for the afternoon delight earlier.”

“Please, it was my pleasure.” He winks and opens his car door.

“Harry, wait, uh…”

“Yeah?”

“You live above the bar right?”

“Um…yeah?”

“Well, it’s bound to be pretty loud, how will you sleep?”

“Noise cancelling headphones.”

“Oh.”

“Why?”

“Well, I was thinking you could come back to place if you wanted.”

“Thought you were ready to pass out.”

“I feel like I’m so exhausted that I won’t be able to sleep.” She laughs. “Would be nice to be able to roll over and have the person there that’s usually good to make me fall asleep.”

“I like the way you think. Let me just grab some clothes from my place and then I’ll head over.”

“Sounds good.”

Harry comes over to Y/N’s, and needless to say after a couple rounds they both sleep pretty well. He was snuggled up against her when her alarm goes off.

“I need to shower.” She yawns. “Feel free to sleep a little longer.”

“I could go for a shower, actually.” His hand drifts down between her legs and she starts rubbing her folds.

“Please tell me you wanna fuck in the shower.”

“I wanna fuck in the shower.”

“Race you!” Y/N kicks the covers back and sprints to her bathroom. Harry wasn’t too far behind.

Once they’re in the water, he has her pressed up against the wall. He fingers her, slow at first, and then he picks up the pace. She wraps her hand around him and pumps him at the same time. Her other hand squeezes at his chest, leaving crescent shaped marks behind. They come at the same time, and then take turns actually showering.

Harry gets dressed while Y/N is still in the bathroom, doing her morning skin care. He stands in the bathroom doorway for a moment.

“So, I’m gonna head out, you good?”

“Yeah, go on.” She waves him off. “See you in a little while.”

“I’m gonna grab coffee, do you want anything?”

“No! No, um, that’s okay, I’ll just make my own here, uh, thanks though.”

“Alright.” He shrugs. “See ya.”

//

Harry sits next to Y/N again in class. She enjoyed listening to him speak about the readings. She shouldn’t be surprised at how articulate he could be. Sometimes when they sent explicit texts her would write these paragraphs describing the things he would do to her.

It was another long day. This time around, Y/N was truly exhausted, and wasn’t in the mood to fuck, so she doesn’t offer to Harry to spend the night again, not that he was expecting her to. He walks her to her car, and they say goodnight.

Sunday was a half day, and time for reflection on their final papers. As they were packing up at the end of class, curiosity takes over Y/N.

“So, how many more credits do you need?”

“Not sure, honestly. I just know I have another year and half. What about?”

“I have, like, five more classes to take. I can only do a couple per semester. I’m done until end of January, which is nice.”

“I wish more of my classes were online. I have a class that meets twice a week in the afternoons, so my break won’t start for another few weeks.”

“Do you…see your sister often? Like, will you spend the holidays with her?”

“Y/N, we don’t have to do this.” He says as he slings his bag over his shoulder. They start walking out together.

“Do what?”

“This.” He gestures between them. “I sort of like that we don’t know a ton about each other. It makes it easier just to meet up and do what we do, you know?”

“Oh! Yeah, I completely agree…I just…” She stops when they reach their cars.

“You’re a compassionate person, I can see that. I do see my sister. We FaceTime when we can, and we take turns visiting. I spend the holidays with my roommate, he’s one of the other bouncers. I’m going to France for a bit this summer when I’ll have more free time. Any other questions?” He smiles at her.

“Nope, that’s about all I wanted to know.” She smiles back. “I’ll see you soon.”

“See you soon.”

//

Mike: the boys are coming to town this weekend, be ready to get fucked up!

Y/N: god bless, I love boys weekend!

Y/N goes over to Mike’s Friday night, and they all pregame before heading to the bar. As they approach, she realizes she forgot to give Harry a heads up that she was coming. His eyes widen when he sees her.

“Where’s your coat?” He asks immediately.

“I…didn’t need it.” She blushes.

He rolls his eyes as he checks everyone else’s ID’s.

“It’s cold out…” He frowns at her. “And you’re wearing a crop top and jeans.”

“Don’t worry, dude, we’ll keep her plenty warm.” Drew says and throws an arm around her shoulders. “Let’s go.”

She giggles and goes inside with her friends. It puts a sour taste in his mouth. Obviously he didn’t own her, and he knew they had to be just friends, but he wondered if she had a past with any of them.

Y/N and her friends do three rounds of tequila shooters before hitting the dance floor. Harry was at the point of the night where he was inside the bar helping out. One of the bartenders snaps her fingers at him and points at two idiots who were demanding to be served more. Harry grabs Niall and they make the people leave. When Harry gets back inside he sees Y/N on the dancefloor grinding against Rob, and Conor. They were all laughing, but he didn’t like what he was seeing at all. If she needed something to grind against, all she had to do was ask.

“I’m gonna go to the ladies room!” She shouts at them, and leaves the dance floor to go wait in line.

She sees Harry and who she assumes is Niall walk by everyone and pound on the door. Harry kicks the door open and finds three people doing lines off the bathroom counter.

“Jesus Christ.” Niall groans. “You can’t be doing that in here!”

Harry and Niall grab the guys, and they struggle at first, but they get them out of the bathroom.

“Now we have to fucking call the police.” Harry says as he basically picks one of them up by the back of their shirt. “Tom’s gonna love this.”

“Doing fucking drugs in the bathroom, grow up boys.” Niall says and Y/N watches as they get them out of the bar.

“Holy shit.” She says to herself.

Around last call, Y/N sees Harry behind the bar cleaning up. She goes up and sits down on one of the few open stools. She taps her finger nails on the bar and he looks at her. She pouts and bats her lashes at him.

“You can come up later, but I’m not fucking you.”

“Why not?”

“You’re drunk.”

“We’ve had sex before after I’ve been drinking.” She scoffs.

“Not like this, you’ve had a lot. I saw the tab.”

“So then why would you want me to come up if we can’t fuck?”

“Because…I…where would you go otherwise?”

“Back to Mike’s.” She points over at her friends. “We do, like, a group sleepover when they come visit, it’s fun.” Harry scrunches his face slightly at that. “What?”

“You all stay in the same bed?”

“No, don’t be silly, I usually end up sleeping in Mike’s bed with him, and one of the other guys. We did it a lot when we were all in school together.”

“Is that all you did?” Harry plants both of his hands on the bar and cocks his head. “With them?”

“Are you asking me if I’ve ever slept with one of them? Because that’s really none of your business.”

“From the way you were dancing with them I didn’t even think you’d be looking to go home with me.” She starts giggling and smiling at him. “What?”

“I just didn’t you could get any cuter, and here you are being a jealous little thing.”

“I’m not jealous.” He scoffs.

“Really? So it wouldn’t bother you if I went back with all of them, and tugged one of them into the bathroom with me, and got all hot and naked?”

“Nope.” He smirks. “Because you’d be thinking of me the whole time, babe.” He leans forward and pecks her lips. “Or am I wrong about that?”

“So I can really come up when you’re done?”

“Yeah, but no hanky panky.” She bursts out laughing at that.

“I am totally down to just cuddle.”

“Better tell them that.” He nods towards the group of boys and she turns around. She waves goodbye to them and they all give her a thumbs up. “They’re a supportive group, huh?”

“You have no idea.”

//

Y/N was doing her best to stay awake, sipping on some water at the bar, while Harry was running around cleaning up. Her eyes flutter closed for a moment when she feels his hand on her back.

“M’all set.” He says.

“Okay.” She yawns. “Think I’m sober now if you wanna get a little frisky.” She wobbles a bit as she gets on her feet.

“Mhm, yeah.” He chuckles. “Come on booze-bag, let’s get you up to bed.”

“Heyyy, don’t be mean.” She swats at his chest. “I only drink like this when my boyfriends come to town.”

He rolls his eyes as he helps her up the stairs to his apartment. He gets her into the bathroom first, using a warm washcloth to help take her makeup off. She giggles and sighs as he does so. Harry could be really gentle when he wanted to be. He gives her some privacy when she needs to use the toilet, and then he leads her into his room.

“Alright, you can have the Kiss shirt for bed.”

“Oh, my favorite!”

He chuckles and helps her out of her clothes, and into the bed shirt. He strips down to his boxers and gets into bed with her. She lays her head right on his chest.

“Why didn’t you wear a coat tonight?”

“I got drunk at Mike’s and felt too warm to wear it when we made our way to the bar. Why do you care so much?”

“I saw on the news once that a lot of college girls get sick or get hypothermia from not dressing warm enough on their ways to parties or whatever. It’s scary.” She shifts to look up at him. He moves some hair away from her face. “I got nervous when I saw you walking up.”

“You were worried about me?”

“A little.” He clears his throat. “But to be fair, I worry about everyone I see dressed like that.”

“Mm, nice save.”

“Shut up.” He smirks. “You’re only here so I can fuck you in the morning.”

“Got that right. You could fuck me now if you wanted.”

“No, I couldn’t.” He strokes her cheek. “It wouldn’t be right.” He says softly. “Try and sleep, yeah?”

“Okay.” She mumbles and nuzzles into his chest.

He plays with her hair until her breathing evens out. He rolls over onto his side, and he feels her tighten her hold around his stomach. It had been quite some time since Harry let someone spoon him, but right now it just felt nice. He puts his hand over hers, just to give her a comforting squeeze, but she ends up lacing her fingers with his. He doesn’t pull away, he just lets it be. He knows he’s fucked now, of course, but he tells himself he’ll worry about it after some sleep.

Part Two

[viastro]

third of december | joshua hong

ミ★ synopsis: i still remember, third of december. me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you. OR: in which joshua gives you his sweater on the first snowfall of the year.

ミ★ genre: slice of life!au, uni!au, fluff, some humor

ミ★ warnings: none

ミ★ word count: 2,922

ミ★ pairings: joshua hong x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: hi guys! in honor of it being the third of december, i decided to write this oneshot based off of that line in conan gray’s song - heather. i made this a joshua oneshot because i felt bad... for the wonwoo one... so this hopefully makes up for it :D i also love joshua’s platinum hair. i love him. i hope he’s doing well. as always, make sure to give joshua lots of love! i hope you guys like this one even tho it’s kinda short and i just wrote this in the span of an hour !

It’s cold, you think to yourself as you walk to the next building that holds your class on campus. Rubbing the goosebumps raising on your arms, you glance around at your surroundings as music floods through your Airpods. You let out a sigh to see if you can see your breath, and you purse your lips when it condensates before your eyes. 

I should’ve brought an extra jacket, you curse quietly, only to stop when you hear a beautiful laugh resonate through the small crowd of people heading to their next class. Your head perks up, and you look across campus to see a bright head of platinum hair walking in your direction as he talks to his friend. Your heart twirls in your chest when he turns his head, and you find that his beautiful laugh matches his gorgeous facial features. 

Immediately you look down at the ground and try to walk faster towards your class, feeling awkward as you were basically just gawking at his beauty. Your face feels warm, but your hands are cold as you walk in the mid-November weather. 

You hear his voice as he gets closer, but you continue to stare down at the cobblestone as you walk. You find that his voice is incredibly pleasant as well, and you wonder how a human being can be so beautiful, causing the thoughts of the coldness of your hands to come to a halt. 

“Are you sure you wanna work on the melody? I can work on it if you want.” Joshua offers as the two head towards the direction of the cafe. Jeonghan rolls his eyes, having heard this five times in the span of the two hour lecture they just got out of. 

“Joshua, I already told you that if you really wanna make the melody then you can do it. I don’t mind writing lyrics.” Jeonghan replies with a grin, and Joshua lets out an apologetic smile. “Sorry Hannie, I just hate writing lyrics.” 

“I know Joshua, but sometimes you need to practice...” Joshua tunes out the rest of Jeonghan’s lecture when he turns his head to look forward, only to pause when he lays eyes on you. Time comes to a slow when he sees you glance up from the ground for a moment, and his heart fills with warmth even in this cold November weather. 

He stops and turns his head in your direction when you walk past him, watching as you shrink within the crowd as you most likely head to your next class. Jeonghan chuckles when he follows Joshua’s line of sight, knowing that his best friend has just developed a crush. With this newfound knowledge, he nudges Joshua’s shoulder, causing the blonde to snap out of his trance. 

“You good?” 

“Do you know who they are?” Joshua asks in a quiet voice, and Jeonghan turns his head, seeing that you’re no longer in sight. He shrugs, “I’ve never spoken to them.” 

Joshua nods his head, looking obviously disappointed as they turn back towards the direction of the cafe. Jeonghan chuckles, patting Joshua’s shoulder after a moment of his friend staying quiet. Joshua glances at the brunette, and he watches as a grin etches itself onto his face. “Since they were heading in that direction today, it’s most likely that our paths will cross with theirs on Thursdays. You’ll see them next week.” 

Joshua lets out a smile after a moment, and nods his head, now feeling excited to see you in a week. Jeonghan rolls his eyes, wrapping his arm around Joshua’s shoulders as they get closer to the cafe. 

“You fall in love easily.” Jeonghan tells him, and Joshua purses his lips. He glances up at the cloudy sky, remembering the way your eyes sparkled when you briefly glanced up from the ground. And so he smiles and responds in a soft voice,

“They were pretty.” 

I brought an extra jacket, but I forgot gloves. Fucking gloves, you think as you walk across campus once again. You let out a sigh, watching as your breath condensates before your very eyes once again. Beginning to curse to yourself for forgetting the gloves on your table, you pick up the pace so that you can make it to the warmth of your building quicker. 

That plan comes to an immediate stop when you hear his voice, and you find yourself walking slower to be able to cherish the sound. Glancing up in the direction of his voice, you see him listening attentively as  his friend animatedly speaks to him. You let out a small smile, thinking that he’s rather cute when he smiles. 

You suck in a breath when he turns his head and locks eyes with you when your paths are about to cross. You want nothing more than to look away and act as if he didn’t catch you staring fondly at him, but his catlike eyes have you intrigued. He finally lets out a smile and stops walking when the two of you are right beside each other, and he turns towards you. 

You find yourself doing the same thing, internally screaming to yourself as you wonder how you were able to muster the courage to not run away when he turned to you. The blonde extends his hand in your direction, “Hi, I’m Joshua Hong.” 

Biting the inside of your cheek, you reach out and softly grasp his warm hand with your cold one, giving it a slight shake. “Hi, I’m yln yn.” 

Joshua’s eyebrows furrow slightly when you let go, and he reaches into his jacket pockets. You move to apologize for how cold your hand was, only to stop when he holds out a pair of purple gloves for you. Glancing up at his face, you catch the redness to his nose as he mutters, “It’s cold, make sure to wear these.” 

You let out a small smile, “Are you sure? These are yours, and you barely know me.” You tell him softly, and Joshua chuckles, nodding his head in reassurance. He pushes them in your direction again, and you shyly take them from his grasp. “Thank you.” 

You slide them on, letting out a happy sigh when you feel the warmth of the gloves on your fingers. Joshua smiles, “Want me to walk you to class?” 

“I thought we were gonna go to the caf-” Joshua quickly elbows Jeonghan in the stomach, making the latter double over in pain from the impact. The brunette quietly curses Joshua and his powerful elbows, wondering why the fuck his elbow felt so sharp. 

Your eyes widen slightly in concern at Joshua’s friend, and the blonde waves his hand at you with a grin, obviously one that’s trying to hold back a laugh. “He’s fine.”

“I’m dying.” 

“You’re fine.” 

“Fuck you.” 

Joshua flashes you a smile after patting Jeonghan on the back, and you end up giggling at the whole interaction. You shake your head ‘no’ at his offer, “It’s okay. It’s all the way across campus, and you already gave me these gloves. You’ve done more than enough.” 

Joshua’s heart falls slightly, but he nods his head, respecting your decision. He prepares to say bye, only to stop when you say, “We can hangout some other time, though.” 

He nods his head immediately in agreement, and you giggle at the sight of it. So you nod your head back at him, before waving your hand, “See you later Joshua, make sure to be nice to your friend.” 

Joshua chuckles as he waves back at you, watching as you begin to walk away “I’m always nice.”

“Say that to my two broken ribs.” Jeonghan wheezes from behind you, and you let out a bright smile when you hear the pair begin to squabble. 

You walk towards your class with a happy heart, and warm hands. 

“Did you hear that it’s gonna snow tomorrow?” You glance over towards the blonde, finding him playing with your switch on the floor of your apartment as you do homework on the couch. 

“December 3rd? That’s kinda early in the month.” You tell Joshua right as he lets out a groan for losing in smash bros. You watch as the pretty man shrugs his shoulders, preparing to restart the round, “Can’t believe you’re more concerned that it’s early rather than the fact that we still have to go to classes.” 

“That’s cause I work better when I’m actually in the classroom rather than online classes.” You say, rolling your eyes when Joshua waves his hand away at you. 

“Didn’t a girl slip and fall on the icy ground last year?” Joshua nods aimlessly in response before telling you that she’s still in talks of suing the university. Pursing your lips and nodding your head in agreement for wanting to sue the school, you glance back towards your textbook. 

You and Joshua did end up hanging out some other time. Almost everyday after classes to be exact. Usually it’s you, Jeonghan, and Joshua, but Jeonghan had an evening class to go to today. You weren’t originally going to hangout with Joshua, but he invited himself to your apartment to be able to play with your switch since Jeonghan broke his. 

Jeonghan is still repenting. 

You’ve discovered that not only is Joshua incredibly pretty and has a nice voice, but his personality is beautiful as well. Over the last couple weeks, your crush on him has only developed even further with the time you’ve spent with him. 

The same goes for Joshua, who has found himself thinking of you more often than not. From the fact that your eyes sparkle when you smile at him, to the way you practically inhale two cups of ramen in a span of fifteen minutes. He’s absolutely amazed by you. 

“You wanna order food?” You ask after a few minutes of silence between you, except for the diverse amount of sound effects coming from your TV. Joshua pauses the game and turns towards you with a knowing smile, causing you to let out a laugh. 

“Did you even have to ask?” Joshua responds, and you roll your eyes. 

“Thai food?” He nods his head in agreement, and the two of you settle on what dishes you both want, as well as what you’ll save for Jeonghan. Once that’s figured out, you place the order and receive the wait time of 30-45 minutes. 

“Does this mean you’re gonna take a break from your homework?” Joshua asks after that’s done, and you purse your lips in thought, before nodding your head. 

“I’ll beat your ass in super smash bros.” You tease, and the blonde rolls his eyes fondly at you as you settle down onto the floor beside him. He hands you your other controller, and the two of you begin a competitive round of smash bros. 

During the middle of the round, Joshua sneaks glances at you, watching as you laugh when you accidentally make your character fall off the platform. His eyes sparkle at the way your face brightens when you fight his character, to the pout of your lips as you begin to concentrate. 

Feeling Joshua’s eyes on you for the sixth time, you pause the game and turn to face him with a teasing smile. “Do you think I’m pretty? You keep-” 

You freeze at the close proximity between your faces, and you watch as Joshua’s eyes widen slightly. The two of you stare into each other's eyes for a moment, searching for an answer. To what question? At this moment, you can only think of one. 

are we about to kiss?

Your answer comes to you when his eyes trail down to your lips. Your eyes slowly flutter shut when he leans in slightly, and Joshua ingrains the visual in his mind, finding you the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on as he slowly leans in. 

bzzz 

The two of you jump apart at the sound of your apartment buzzer, and you quickly reach for your phone, seeing that the food is here. Joshua quickly scrambles up off the floor and walks over to your door without another word, and you rest a hand over your heart, feeling it violently pound against your chest. 

While Joshua’s cheeks are tinged a pretty shade of pink as he grabs the takeout food, wondering if the two of you would’ve actually kissed if you weren’t interrupted by the Thai food. However, it seems that his question won’t be answered as he walks back into your living room with a small smile. 

“Let’s eat.” 

Joshua literally told me it was going to snow and I decided to wear a t-shirt and a jacket? Am I stupid? You begin to genuinely question whether or not you have any brain cells as you walk across campus. The snow begins to fall around you as you head to class, and you quietly curse yourself for being so distracted in the morning to have forgotten the weather. 

The almost kiss keeps replaying in your head. From the moment Jeonghan came to your apartment after class and began to eat with you guys, to the time he and Joshua left to head back to their apartment. This was all you thought about even until this morning, and it’s all you’re thinking about now.

stupid! stupid! stupid! 

Your head perks up when you hear Joshua and Jeonghan laughing, and you find the two dressed warmly as they walk in your direction. Your heart thumps against your chest when Joshua glances up and locks eyes with you, only to internally panic when he immediately frowns. 

oh god, he hates me.

“Yn, I told you it was snowing today. Where’s your sweater?” Joshua asks when him and Jeonghan get closer to you. You bite the inside of your cheek, trying to come up with an answer that doesn’t sound like,

oh, you know Joshua. I was too busy being distracted by the fact that you almost kissed me last night, that i forgot to dress like a human being that DOESN’T wanna get hypothermia. haha. hahahaha. hahahahahahahahaha. Pain. 

“I forgot.” You mutter, feeling embarrassed about your stupidity. Jeonghan snickers at you, thinking the whole ordeal is rather hilarious, and you shoot him a death glare, to which he immediately stops chuckling. 

You turn back towards Joshua when you see him zipping open his backpack, and your eyes widen slightly when he pulls out an extra sweater from his bag. Jeonghan grins to himself, watching as Joshua holds it out in your direction.

“What?” You ask, and Jeonghan lets out a quiet sigh of disappointment at your lack of understanding context clues when it comes to real life scenarios. Joshua shakes the sweater, “Put this on. That jacket won’t help much, you need layers.” 

You bite the inside of your cheek, before handing Jeonghan your bag, and Joshua your jacket. You slip on the sweater over your head, and feel your face fill with warmth when you realize how much larger it is on you rather than Joshua. 

Joshua’s cheeks turn pink at the sight of you wearing his sweater, and he immediately hands you your jacket. You take it from his grasp and slip it on, before taking back your backpack from Jeonghan. You gesture to yourself, “So, what do we think?” 

“Looks better on Joshua-” Jeonghan immediately gets elbowed in the stomach, causing him to double over. Joshua gives you a shy smile, and you bite back a laugh. 

“You look pretty.” Joshua tells you softly, taking note of the way the snowflakes rest on your head, and the held back laughter goes away as you feel yourself growing more shy at the fondness in his voice. You look down at the ground, coughing into your shoulder as you prepare to leave to head towards your building once again.

“Thank you for the sweater, Joshua. I’ll see you and Jeonghan after class.” You tell him, and you wave at the doubled over Jeonghan, before turning to go to class. You pause when you feel a hand softly grasp your wrist, and you turn around to see Joshua right behind you. Raising an eyebrow you ask, “What?” 

Joshua doesn’t respond, instead biting the inside of his cheek nervously as he stares at you. You move to ask what’s wrong, only to be stopped when he leans in and presses a quick kiss to your lips. “I’ll see you later, yn.”

And with that, Joshua immediately turns around and walks away, ignoring Jeonghan’s teasing from behind him as he follows after the blonde. Warmth floods your senses, and you slowly raise a hand up to your lips, smile slowly breaking itself out onto your face as you watch the blonde disappear. 

You feel warm. 

“You brought that sweater just for yn, didn’t you?” Jeonghan teases as the two walk towards the cafeteria, and Joshua nods his head. 

“I knew they’d forget to dress warmly even though I told them it was gonna snow.” Joshua responds, smiling softly at the way the bright orange complimented your skin beautifully. It was a nice contrast to the white snow surrounding you as it fell from the sky. 

“You just wanted to see them in your clothes.” Jeonghan says with a chuckle, wrapping his arm around Joshua’s shoulders as they push through the doors, feeling warmth flood their bodies. Joshua nods his head, not even denying it as he smiles to himself. 

“They look better in it than I do.”