#my dad wants to discuss politics but that’s a separate issue

[leggerefiore]

Concept: Emmet having to be squeaky clean for a week visiting s/o's family that heavily believes in "waiting until marriage" so both have to play pretend at being sparkling pure virgins that aren't even allowed to share a bed. His sanity hanging by a thread vs his unwavering willpower to show his seriousness about the relationship and make a good first impression for his future in-laws. Lewd or fluff optional for this one, maybe both? haha jk... Unless 😳

The Path Of Resistance

cw: sexual content, not smut though,

Minors DNI

words: 1982

-------

The situation was dire.

He hated it so much.

But he loved you verrrry much.

Emmet sat uncomfortably on the couch beside you. Your family's home was pleasant and nice. They had been nothing but polite to him since you both arrived, yet… He recalled your discussion with him before setting out to visit them. They were extremely stringent in their beliefs about waiting until marriage to have sex. He supposed to each their own, but it clearly stressed you out since they held you to that standard. You, well, you and him most certainly had not waited until marriage. You had not even waited past the fourth date.

It was awkward for him, but it was not like he planned to take you in front of everyone, nor was he going to crack his less savoury jokes in front of people he barely knew. No, the issue came up in the fact that you both could not even share a bed for the entire three-day stay at their home. That felt like too much on top of it all, in his opinion. Still, he could go three nights without sex. He was an adult. If it got down to it, he could have an awkward session in the shower. It was not like he was never single before dating you.

“Ah, so what do you do for living then?” your mother asked him. He smiled widely. His job was an easy topic to discuss.

“I'm a manager in the Gear Station and I do some professional battling,” he explained. Your parents nodded, while you just shifted the topic to whatever the next that felt right was. Emmet continued his train of thought. He seriously could not understand what was so bad about having sex before marriage. It was a bonding activity! Not that different from cuddling in his mind, just more active. And pleasurable. Verrry pleasurable. He could only imagine the ease his brother would have in his place here.

Your mother suddenly pulled you away into another room to talk about something in there, leaving him alone with your father. He did not miss how the man's face shifted from a pleasant expression to something more serious, brows furrowed together and mouth stuck in a frown. He would give it a solid seven on the “Is Ingo about to go off on me” scale.

“So… I know my child lives with you,” he spoke with a serious tone, “I have to ask about your sleeping arrangements.” Emmet felt floored. You were not lying. They seriously expected this. He straightened his back and gave his best innocent smile.

“My brother and I own a three-bedroom apartment,” he explained, “One of the rooms was our home office. I gave it to them as a bedroom after they moved in.” It was still, in fact, their home office. You easily shared a bedroom with Emmet with little issue. He was still not over your joke that it was amazing a guy like him actually had a bed frame.

“I see,” the older man nodded, “You both live with your brother, too, then. What is he like?” Why was he now interrogating him about Ingo? The older twin was quite literally the last person to cause any problems.

“He's verrry polite and kind,” Emmet tilted his head, “He's my twin brother. We get anxious if we are separated.” Your father gave another nod before checking a clock on the wall.

“Well, it's almost time for dinner, then,” he stood up and motioned for Emmet to follow him. The younger twin nearly jumped when your dad patted him on the back. “You seem like a good guy,” he told him, “I'm pretty certain you're the kind of guy who knows how to hold back.” Emmet wanted to laugh. He rarely held back, not in battles or in life. Even Ingo would get on to him for how blunt he could be with his words. Honesty was truly his life's policy, which was what made this situation all the more difficult. Emmet kept his usual smile on his face and nodded. It was better to just take the compliment rather than try to argue against it.

~

Your mother showed him to the guest bedroom after dinner, allowing him to put his bags away. She gazed at him curiously as he pulled out a pokeball. “Would it be alright if I have my Galvantula out?” he asked, “I usually cannot fall asleep unless I have something to cuddle.” He could see the way her eyebrow cocked up at him. For a moment, he stiffened, realising she was now suspicious because of that comment. “Ah! It's because I spent most of my childhood sharing a bed with my brother,” he explained, “I-I need something in bed with me to sleep well. I usually use my Galvantula or Eelektross.” Her gaze only lost some of its gleam.

“That should be fine,” she nodded, “I only ask that you clean up any webs it makes.” He nodded. Of course. Emmet was respectful of other's homes. Even if his own had webs nearly in every corner, he could respect other people's spaces. With that, she left him and closed the door behind her. Emmet sat on the bed and sighed. He had no idea why it was weird that he needed to cuddle something to fall asleep. That was true before he even met you. Though, he would admit having both you and his Galvantula in bed was pleasant. The arachnid would be against his back while he held you close to his chest. Your warmth would soak into his body perfectly.

Three nights of this.

Galvantula only clicked at him before curling up beside him when he moved under the covers. He ran a hand through her fur softly, and she hummed. “I am in a situation,” he told her as she closed her navy eyes, “This is painful, but I want to make a good impression. Ingo said it was important.” That, and he knew how much it meant to you. Emmet wished for nothing more than to make you happy. Even if he had to lie and pretend your relationship worked different than it did. He closed his eyes, too, and allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

~

Time passed relatively easily. You showed him your hometown, you both did a few things with your parents, and he could always find a way to keep himself occupied. He would say everything was going well. Except, here on your second day, he hit a road block. Why had your parents suggested a trip to a local pool? Well, it was clear it must have been some kind of test. He knew it was the summer, and it was hot, but this felt too perfectly timed to be so unrelated. He balled his hand into a fist and kept his smile. Thankfully, all his time working with the public taught him how to hold a smile even if he did not want to.

Everything was fun and relaxing, but something weighed heavy on his mind. Sure, he had seen you in less, but here you were in a tight swimsuit before him. He bit his lip as he watched you wade about the water or rest on the side of the pool. His mind moved to places that he had willed himself away from for the past few days. He was barely allowed more than a quick hug and kiss on the cheek with your parents around, too. It was driving him mad that he was going without even something as innocent as cuddling. Emmet would never deny his horny tendencies, but he was not some pure creature of the earth. He was an adult man with mature thoughts.

So, when you all returned home, and he was offered a shower to clean himself after having been in the pool, he took it immediately. The shower was warm and relaxing against his skin, but that was not its purpose. His hand grasped his dick desperately as he let his mind slip away from where you both were. Back at home, he could have you laying in bed playfully. A canister of whipped cream could somehow be involved as he licked the sweet foam from your body. You would moan and whine under him as he bit you teasingly, but just before he could reach everything he wanted, a fist pounded on the door and informed him not to use all the hot water.

Suddenly, the shower had to be cold and quick.

His excuse why he had taken so long?

Stress. Ingo totally texted him about some accident at work that caused him to worry. Your family bought it, thankfully. He knew you did not. The look in your eyes told him all he needed to know.

~

Emmet was not patient. He was the one who acted against his brother's more passive approach to life. So on your final day with your parents, he was not afraid to admit he was rushing you to pack. You sent him a knowing, mocking look as you spent longer and longer returning your clothes to your bag. Suddenly, he was your helper and your bags were packed incorrectly but completely. He carried both of your bags out to the car as your parents, and you spent a moment talking.

When he joined you again, your parents gave him pleasant, genuine smiles. “I have no idea how you managed to find such a sweet, innocent man in this day and age,” your mom joked softly, “Poor guy needs to cuddle something to fall asleep. What a sweetheart.” Emmet felt a pang of annoyance, but swallowed it down. You just nodded with a laugh.

“Oh, Em, is a teddy bear,” you told her, “I know it's been killing him we have not been able to properly cuddle.” Your mom gave a soft laugh and apologised to you both about that. She admitted that they had been hogging you from him and not allowed you much alone time together. Emmet politely brought an arm around your shoulders and brought you in close, a bit spitefully. “It looks like my fate after getting home is probably going to be a long hug.”

“I'll admit I was a bit suspicious of him at first,” your dad said, scratching his head, “I just worried he would be like every other guy, but I don't think he even knows about sex. I even tried looking him up online, and most things I saw were about how innocent he is.” The boisterous laugh that followed made Emmet tense. He knew exactly what he was talking about and hated it. People seriously thought if you so much as said pussy or dick around him, he would be completely ignorant to the word. “I like you,” he held his hand out for Emmet to shake, “Please keep up how you are.” The twin shook the older man's hand with a wide grin on his face. Oh, he did not even know the half of it.

A few farewells were shared before you and Emmet finally were off and headed home.

As you drove off towards your destination, you spoke softly to your boyfriend, “Thank you, Em. I know that it was hard for you to do all of that.”

“Heehee, don't worry about! I loooooove you so much that it doesn't bother me.”

Your heart felt warm at the sweetness of your boyfriend.

~

“Oh, darling,” he cooed, pinning you to the sheets, “I want to try something new.” You were flustered under him as his hands locked your wrists together above your head.

“Wh-what's that?” you asked, knowing full well had a tonne of sexual energy to expel. It excited you more than he would like to admit.

“Whipped cream.”

“Huh?”

[constantineshots]

Hey, what is your top 10 hellblazer issue?

TOP TEN HUH.

well, i wouldn’t put them in order, nor do I remember issue numbers off the top of my head. more specifically moments. it’ll be under the read more for a long, long post. some trigger warnings for abuse.

i like the first issue for nostalgia and the way it manages to show us john constantine as a character, and somewhat to outsiders. we see him as a human . . . and then his descent into what he see him doing every day because he’s a bit silly (racists are scared of him, for example, but that doesn’t really have to do with the magical aspect of john and more of his political one). it shows us who he is without necessarily delving too deeply into the world of magic, even if it’s just a glimpse.

another that really tickles my brain is technically a couple, but the specifics of newcastle. throughout hellblazer, it’s very much up in the air what actually happened and we only know the end results, because no one talks about it. however, while it is early on in the series, we get to learn about why this affects john as much as it does, and afterwards, how most of it was just pinned on john because of course the police don’t know much about the magical world. i think my favorite aspect is how, when we see him in ravenscar, magic is more of an ‘addiction’ of his as opposed to being a tool. yet he’s in there because they think he’s “loony” as it’s put then, but that’s a separate issue. count that one in this list of ten too, i think.

okay. i know. this one’s less traumatic and technically isn’t part of the original 300 of hellblazer. but. i thought the unicorn thing was actually hilarious. though honestly, i think since the original run ( and let’s be honest, even among some of the writers for the original ), simon spurrier is up there with some of the best hellblazer authors. BUT. i thought the pretty unicorn murdering people and shit was kind of amusing. sorry. i loved it.

another one of my favorites is the one where john is,,, so there’s this lesbian couple that wants to get pregnant. and one of them decides to essentially flirt with john and try to get him to sleep with her, and of course, it turns out with john being like “you could have just asked.” and it puts into perspective a lot of the things that he deals with, the ways people treat him. the things he faces. it’s a lot to take in. and the whole thing about wanting someone to hold you so you feel less alone….

tumblr is fucking with my spacing. how cruel. sorry for the squished lines </3

but anyways, onto number seven i think. personally, i really like the one where he broke ho with kit, and it’s because of two reasons: one, because it shows kit. i love her! but what i mean is that she is a take no shit kind of girl, and while she’d already explained this, it really shows it. people have said “oh fuck you john” and yada yada and end up back in his life again (no shade, chas). kit? she said “john, if you get magic into my home, i’m OUT.” and she fucking meant it too. she got attacked (and she handled it! love that for her) and then kept that boundary. i love her for being a strong character- not physically, necessarily, but keeping her boundaries, too. and also, it shows us what john is like when he’s losing something he really cares about. he acts like a cornered animal. he shouts and tries to say shit that will hurt you (like calling kit cold) because he’s scared. while we already knew this, it’s a very big throw in your face moment about how much of a piece of shit john can be, especially because this was a long-term relationship. and then, of course, he ends up depressed and homeless and doing his best to drink away his problems.

and i know this is going to sound horrible, but the one where john is like. literally discussing how he pretty much made his father sick with a spell and a dead cat (if i recall correctly) because of all the shit that his dad did to him and how he was treated. to me, it made sense. he found a way to defend himself. magic was that outlet of his own protection, his own defense, a way to try little by little to keep himself safe. really connected to me in a way- growing up, i had an abusive parent, and i could understand why he did what he did, because i wouldn’t have done any different.

AND THERE’S THIS ONE WHERE. john makes a statement about not trusting priests because of the fact that one attempted to assault him, but there’s a story where john is going through that story, and john sees the priest again. he has a panic attack first and foremost, and i think, to me, it’s one of the very first depictions of a mental health struggle. not necessarily in hellblazer- mainly because this is a story that handles a lot of hard topics and, depending on the writer, it’s done rather well- but in comics overall. it also shows that yes, priests can be villains too and take advantage of people, and that was a rather controversial topic during that time period. hell, it’s even controversial now, and we have stories of it happening all the time.

and ten. honestly, picking these was a bit difficult because i love a lot of hellblazer, but here we are. i, personally, enjoy mike carey’s run a lot (i LOVE lucifer. so i already knew i was in for it.) the arc where we’re seeing how much john cares for his sister and that he’s literally going to hell (okay maybe this isn’t that impressive because he’s always there) to get her back. with nergal! the fucking asswipe! but it also focused a lot on tony being very religious, and gemma, and how affected everyone was. gemma wanting to be like john and john shooting her down. there’s a lot to handle- like john’s…. children… that came about from odd circumstances…. maybe i’m biased here. ANYWAYS. good fun!

but i despise. and i mean DESPISE. anything after 250. i will never touch it again. i barely got through it the first time. again. DO NOT READ. ANYTHING PAST 250.

and i hated the original justice league dark run. probably because of milligan. fucking hate that guy. but regardless. you asked for hellblazer issues. technically some of these are arcs. BUT HEY! here you are :D

[overheard-at-star-command]

'Daddy's Little Princess'

I want to play Dr. Animus for a moment and analyze Mira Nova’s daddy issues. And take a closer look at her dad himself.

(I meant to write this essay for Father’s Day, btw)

In most cases, interpretations of stories are not about what is literally in the text but what is drawn on from the cultural and social experience of the society that created the text. Thus, it’s a stretch to suggest that the writers and creators of Buzz Lightyear of Star Command deliberately wrote Mira’s relationship with her father to be deep or complex. On the other hand, you would be forgiven for thinking that King Nova is just a stock “mean dad” character for a kids’ show.

But, believe it or not, King Nova has a character arc: it’s about a father who goes from being hostile towards his adult daughter to supporting her.

As an adult who has struggled with her own daddy issues, and as someone who has dabbled in the social sciences, psychology, and mythology, I see a much deeper story in the series about the stress of parent and adult child relationships and how the two parties negotiate a new balance between them.

To be up front, I’ve been listening to lectures and podcasts by Jordan Peterson recently, and I will pull interpretive material from his sources. (I understand that Peterson is a controversial figure. If you don’t like him, then go read something else.)

During my first semester of college, a very long time ago, I took an introduction to family studies course. One topic that the got discussed briefly in class was that of family transitions: that is, the question of how families deal with changes such as birth, marriage, divorce, and death. Family transitions bring about changes in how the individual members perform their roles in the family system or relate to one another. The lack of clarity or communication about what these new roles look like creates stress between family members as they try to figure it out on their own. One of the most difficult types of transitions is when an adult child moves out of the household, which my professor referred to (appropriately for this discussion about a kids’ sci-fi show) as ‘launching’. 

Launching creates friction in the parent-child relationship because the parent(s) and child need to redefine the terms of their relationship but will have differing opinions on how to do so. The adult child how has autonomy over their own life. They now set their own boundaries and create their own identity without input from the parent. The adult child either does not fulfil their parent’s expectations for them or outright reject them. The parent wants to support the child but has to let go of providing for most or all of their needs. Social and political differences or even just personal disagreements can cause distance in the relationship and even outright resentment. If not resolved, conflict can lead to one party cutting off the relationship with the other. According to the notes I have saved, my professor remarked that it is the parents who suffer more during launching rather than the adult children.

Father and Daughter

Let me address the elephant in the room: Mira Nova is never mentioned as having a mother. Considering that Mira is a Disney ‘princess’ this is hardly a surprise, since many Disney protagonists, and fairy-tale characters in general, have one or both biological parents missing. Absence or separation from parents requires the hero or heroine of a given story to act as an adult and take responsibility for their own survival. A child missing one or both parents must learn the rules of life by themselves because the parent is not there to teach them. In many cases, absence or separation from parents/parent figures initiates the Hero’s Journey. The archetypal adventure story is a symbolic journey into adulthood itself. Luke Skywalker’s arc in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope is about how he gets off his aunt and uncle’s moisture farm where he spent his childhood and dedicates his adulthood to becoming a Jedi.

Assume, for the sake of argument, that Mira did have a mother, but she is absent because of some unnamed circumstances. She may even be dead. Mira and her father are emotionally close because each is the only nuclear family member the other has, and that closeness gives their disagreements higher stakes and greater potential for damage. If Mira’s hypothetical mother was lost or even killed in some tragedy, it would give King Nova a stronger desire to control and protect his daughter.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention “The Lightyear Factor”, which presents an alternate universe where Mira has lost EVERYTHING including her father. The alternate-universe Mira blames Buzz Lightyear for the crimes committed by his evil doppelganger, including the ones that hit closest to home:

Mira: This is for what you did to Tangea, for what you did to my father! I never got the chance to tell him that I loved him. Buzz: See? For all your rebellious fights with your father, you still cared deeply and you should’ve told him.

As Buzz assumes, the same is true for the Mira in the first universe. Deep down Mira still cares about her father, and even the risk of losing him pains her, as hinted at in ‘The Planet Destroyer’.

Flashbacks: ‘Star-Crossed’ and ‘First Missions’

King Nova is a single father and the monarch of a planet with an insular culture suspicious of outside forces. His go-to parenting strategy is lecturing and discipline. He uses Tangea’s genteel society as a box within to contain and protect his daughter. Without a mother figure in her life, Mira has nothing to mitigate or balance out her father’s absolute control over her. To paraphrase Jordan Peterson, then, instead of being the ideal Wise King and encouraging father, King Nova is the Tyrant over both his planet and his daughter’s life.

The flashbacks in “Star Crossed” tell us that as a teenager, Mira snuck out of the royal palace to explore the outside world, thus starting the journey to adulthood in absence of a mother’s guidance and in defiance of a tyrannical father. It was during these excursions that she met and fell in love with Romac, a Grounder. Mira dating a grounder was the manifestation of King Nova’s worst fears: she had gone into the dangerous outside world and betrayed his expectations for her. Her forced separation from Romac traumatized her, and it is not unfounded to conclude that this incident became a source of hostile feelings towards her father.

An archetype that Jordan Peterson refers to in his lectures is that of the monster parent that devours their own child: think of Kronos in the Greek theogony. The monster parent eats their offspring because they are jealous of the child, either for their potential to surpass them or for having other friends and guardians besides the parent. King Nova ‘swallowed’ his daughter in order to protect her from the dangers of the outside world, those ‘dangers’ being independence, romance, and mingling with ‘common grounders’. In this sense, he is on par with fairy tale parents who attempt and fail to protect their children from the chaos of adulthood, notably the father of Sleeping Beauty or Rapunzel’s ‘Mother’ Gothel.

It's ironic: no solid walls can hold Tangeans, and yet the king of that species expects his own daughter to stay inside the palace.

A few years later, as we learn in “First Missions”, the Galactic Alliance approached King Nova about bringing the planet Tangea into their organization. He was not in favor of accepting the offer. He only changed his mind because the Evil Emperor Zurg literally invaded his house, forcing him to see the political necessity. In the process of that home invasion and rescue, Buzz Lightyear came into Mira Nova’s life as an alternative parental figure and a mentor. So Tangea gained membership in the Galactic Alliance, but its king lost his daughter in the bargain.

‘The Planet Destroyer’ (episode 7)

The first time we meet King Nova in the release order of the series is ‘The Planet Destroyer’. This is what happens in his first scene with Mira:

Mira: That laser webbing will prevent even a speck of cosmic dust from entering Tangea’s atmosphere. King: This is all much ado about nothing. Tangea can take care of its own. We certainly don’t need monkeys in space suits to protect us. Mira: 'Monkeys in space suits?' King: Mira, you know how much I disapprove of you being part of that space club. Mira: It is not a club, father. It’s Star Command. King: Mmm, yes. Whatever you call it. I don’t like it. It’s beneath us. Mira: Why, because we’re royal? King: Because we’re Tangean. This diversion is keeping you from the proper development of your powers. Besides, if you consort with monkeys. You’re bound to start acting like one.

They have had this conversation before.

Mira returns to her crew feeling absolutely LIVID. “He’s the most vain, egotistical, conceited man to ever walk Tangea!” she mutters.

I think King Nova feels like he is losing control of his life, and he is: his planet’s political status has changed and his daughter has left home. In response, he doubles down on his controlling speech and attitude towards his daughter. He invalidates Mira and her life away from home.

It is my personal headcanon that the lowest point in Mira’s relationship with her father was when she decided to join Star Command. They may have had terrible arguments. She might have left for the training Academy without saying goodbye. He might have not called her or answered her calls while she was at the Academy and perhaps not even after she graduated (or if he did, it was to ask when she was coming back to Tangea). This could be the first time they’ve seen each other and even talked since she left home.

After Mira graduated, she became partners with Buzz Lightyear along with Booster and XR, and Team Lightyear became her new family. Mira has likely talked to her father about her teammates, so I think the king takes Mira finding an alternative family as a betrayal of their relationship. Therefore, he has no qualms about calling them ‘monkeys’ and ‘inferior’ to specifically insult them.

Zurg’s ‘planet destroyer’ device makes Tangea disappear. But Mira, strangely, is not upset about it. I would argue that this bit of exposition could have been written better. However, when Team Lightyear goes to search for Zurg’s weapon, Mira asserts that Tangea isn’t really destroyed because she still has a mental connection to her planet and her father. She doesn’t know how this connection is possible—and then she admits that if she understood her supernatural powers more then she would have a better idea of how and why the connection worked. What Mira really acknowledges is that her father is partly right about needing to develop her powers.

Mira’s intuition leads Team Lightyear to the alternate dimension where Zurg transported the planets he ‘destroyed’. King Nova appears and Mira is grateful to see him alive. But how to reverse the effects of Zurg’s weapon?

King: With my enormous mental powers, I might be able to penetrate the trans-dimensional hull of this so-called ‘planet-destroyer’” Mira: Mm-hm, okay. And what will you do when Zurg’s killer robots attack? King: Oh. Well, I…hadn’t really thought of that.

Now it is her dad’s turn to realize that he does not know everything he needs to save the day. The king has expertise that Mira does not have, and Mira has the combat skills that the king lacks. With Buzz Lightyear’s encouragement, father and daughter compromise in order to carry out the next part of the mission. They succeed, and Mira gets a few tutorials on more ways to use her ghosting powers besides breaking and entering. King Nova does acknowledge that his daughter being a space ranger does have its benefits—but he is not about to give her his stamp of approval.

‘Mira’s Wedding’ (episode 16)

This brings us to episode 16, “Mira’s Wedding.” King Nova admits to Mira when she comes home to Tangea that her betrothal to Fop Doppler was not his idea, but he is one hundred percent in support of the match. At a later moment, King Nova very rudely informs Buzz, Booster, and XR—her other family—that they are not invited: “You. No go. Wedding.” For the king, the forced marriage of is daughter is an opportunity to bring her back into the protective sphere of the Tangean royal court and their father-daughter relationship at home. This is his chance to ‘swallow’ her again after she escaped.

According to Jordan Peterson, the role of the ideal parent is to encourage their child to be strong and independent. The child that is not allowed to leave home because of overly-attached parents can become ‘a crippled monster’. If you want a monstrosity, look at Mira’s so-called wedding dress (*scream*). Thankfully, the whole engagement and wedding is revealed as a plot to destroy the king, and it is duly foiled. Mira is allowed to return to Star Command. The hostility level between Mira and her father returns to its level of grudging respect.

‘SuperNova’ (episode 23)

Now we get to ‘SuperNova.’ Mira discovers ghosting through energy sources amplifies her Tangean powers and gives her more extraordinary abilities. After the first time she does this, she calls her father to brag about it. King Nova, however, sees Mira’s ‘achievement’ for what it really is.

King: Forget this feeling, Mira. Let it wear off. And never think of it again. Mira: *laughing* You’ve got to be kidding! This is so great! King: Listen to me, child: Tangeans absorb the energy we ghost through. It’s invigorating at first, but— Mira: But what? I feel awesome! King: Of course. Until you can’t stop. Mira: Aw, c’mon! I can handle it!

King: Listen to me, daughter: no good can come from this power ghosting. It can destroy you. It WILL destroy you. Mira: You just can’t stand to see me succeed!

Someone watching ‘SuperNova’ for the first time might think that the king is reprimanding his daughter for no reason, as usual. But this time the king is in the right.

The problem with Mira’s relationship with her father is that she cannot tell the difference between her father (or anyone else) criticizing her wrongly and genuinely helping her because the discord between them has lasted for so long Mira accuses him of being jealous of her independence—right assumption, wrong time. After this conversation, Mira doubles down. She becomes addicted to power ghosting through restricted energy sources in order to keep up her ‘high’ and her amplified powers.

As for the king, his parenting style has come back to bite him. It’s a twisted parallel to the proverbial boy who cried wolf.

Mira’s bad behavior gets her a serious reprimand from Commander Nebula. “You sound like my—father!” she says just as her father himself enters the Star Command hangar.

In The Adventure Begins, it was the Commander who recommended Mira to be Buzz’s partner. My personal headcanon is that Mira saw Commander Nebula as another alternative parent figure: the ‘cool dad’, if you like. Commander Nebula chewing her out for her energy addiction and being in cahoots with her real father against her is a huge betrayal.

What’s more, if King Nova is so attached to Tangea, then seeing him away from his homeworld and at Star Command means that this issue is serious. This is him starting to cross over to her side of their divide, even if he himself does not see it as such. He tells her, “If I don’t do everything Tangean-ly possible to stop you from this, I’ll never forgive myself.”

Mira, of course, won’t listen to either her father or her commanding officer. Instead, she decides that she needs to use her enhanced powers to destroy Emperor Zurg once and for all. Buzz, Booster, and XR agree to go with her, but she sneaks out alone for Planet Z: partly to protect them, yes, but running away is a usual way for her to rebel.

The Evil Emperor Zurg had been keeping track on the wayward princess, and when she arrives to destroy him, he has a trap waiting for her. When Mira exhausts her powers fighting him, he puts her in a dungeon cell adjacent to a waiting energy core, a core that fuels a weapon that will destroy Star Command. The rest of Team Lightyear arrives to join Mira, but Zurg springs a cage on them as well.

Enter King Nova. He walks up to the bars of Mira’s prison cell.

King: Don’t do it, child! Don’t give in to your cravings! Mira: What gives you the right to tell me what to do? King: Because I know how it feels! I, too, once ghosted through energy. I felt its power. And it took me to the brink of destruction.

Then, in what is perhaps one of the rawest lines in the whole series, Mira tells him, “Well, I’m not you!”

With that, she ghosts out of her cell and into Zurg’s waiting power core. But then, to Zurg’s dismay, she ghosts right back out of it.

The Evil Emperor is confused. Isn’t Mira so hopelessly addicted to power that she can’t live without it?

Mira’s next line is the moral message of the episode:

“But there are other kinds of strength, like being able to say enough is enough, or helping someone who’s too stubborn to realize she needs help.”

And she looks at her father and her friends as she says this.

Running through the whole scene again, Mira’s statement about learning her lesson seems to contradict the ‘I’m not you’ line. But let me break down the scene from before that moment. When her friends come to save her and get captured, Mira recognizes that their capture is a consequence of her poor choices. 

She tells her father “I’m not you” moments after his big confession, which means she is still processing it when she walks away. I believe that while getting a final charge from Zurg’s power core, Mira comes to terms with what has just happened: her father has confessed that he is not perfect.

Up until this point, Mira’s image of her father was that of a stern tyrant who embodied his own ideas of Tangean perfection. King Nova has now left his homeworld in defiance of his ego and come to Planet Z (Hell) to save his daughter from Zurg (more or less the Devil, horns and all). He has revealed to her that he had the same weakness that she struggles with currently. He wants to help her overcome it not just out of duty but out of compassion. The king’s actions destroy the false image that his daughter had of him. It can be seen as a symbolic death, in Mira’s mind, of the person she thought her father was.

Mira Nova then undergoes her own symbolic death. She comes out of Zurg’s power core no longer glowing like she did when she was supercharged, meaning that she only absorbed enough energy to get out and fight to save her friends. She leaves her spacesuit inside the energy core, rigged to self-destruct in order to destroy the core, and she is armed with a big blaster. Leaving her spacesuit behind to detonate is her way of shedding her ordeal with her addiction; destroying the core itself is ending her physical dependency on it and similar power sources. Both father and daughter have killed their egos.

In the final scene of the episode, Mira apologizes to her friends for her recent behavior. She even informs Commander Nebula that she is willing to resign from Star Command. She holds herself accountable for her recent actions. In contrast to the start of the episode. Mira admits that she isn’t perfect, either as a person or a space ranger. Buzz intervenes and informs Commander Nebula that in spite of her weakness Mira is still good enough to be a space ranger: her actions after leaving Zurg’s dungeon cell prove as much.

And then, at the very end of the episode, King Nova finally tells Mira that she can stay at Star Command. Because of these events, he is finally willing to let her choose her own path for her adult life. Mira has demonstrated to her father that she can do what is morally right for herself.

The entire incident is the turning point for Mira’s relationship with her father. That is why I believe ‘SuperNova’ is one of the best episodes of the series. In spite of how hard it is to watch Mira mess up, she recognizes her mistakes and makes amends, and in the process, she makes up with her dad. The episode’s emotional payoff is sincere.

‘The Starthought’ (episode 48)

King Nova enters the scene in “The Starthought” on a completely different footing. He offers Star Command a high-tech spaceship to add to its fleet—on the condition that Mira pilots it. He is willing to support Mira as a space ranger now, but she has to do it in a way that displays Tangean superiority—his way.  

At first, Mira is not down to be the Starthought pilot. “Can’t you accept I am not a princess here? I’m a ranger, like everyone else.” In spite of now allowing Mira to stay at Star Command, the king and his daughter have still not figured out the boundaries of their relationship. As her father, he wants to still provide support for her, but in an environment where she is an independently functioning adult this is inappropriate. Mira keeps her work life and her home/royal life separate. She does not want special royal treatment as a space ranger, but she’s happy to live and work as an equal to her colleagues. It looks like she tried to tell her father about this but he failed to understand.

What pushes Mira to take the bait, however, is a snide remark from rival ranger Rocket Crocket. Mira might not be as arrogant as the average Tangean, yet she still has an ego problem. The need to prove herself is normal and healthy, but she is willing to do stupid or risky things to one-up her critics. Mira does pull off some heroics with the Starthought. However, her showing off results in the Starthought being captured by Zurg.

By far, my second favorite scene with Mira and her father is at Cosmo’s diner after the capture of the Starthought. King Nova isn’t angry with Mira for losing the Starthought. “The important thing is that you’re all right,” he tells her.

Mira: I was showing off, and that was wrong.  King: Wrong runs in the family.

It’s a very interesting admission. King Nova is admitting that as her father, trying to prop Mira up with the Starthought was a poor decision. He was showing her off just as much as she was using the Starthought to show herself off. He does not excuse himself for this or for any other mistakes he has made in the past.

Team Lightyear goes to Planet Z, and thanks to some clever shenanigans from Mira the Starthought is destroyed before Zurg can use it for evil. Buzz makes the following statement to the evil Emperor, but he may as well have also said it to the king:

“It’s not the spacecraft of Star Command that wins battles, it’s the space rangers—and we’ve got the best.”

And as he makes that statement, Buzz is holding Mira’s shoulder, showing her off for who she is.

Speaking of Buzz Lightyear, one thing I’ve noticed about Buzz in these episodes is that he acts as a mediator between Mira and her father. It was Buzz who encouraged Mira to seek her independence and her identity in “First Missions’. He encourages Mira and the king to compromise with each other, as in “The Planet Destroyer”, and in that episode and in “Mira’s Wedding” he prods the king to acknowledge that it was Star Command’s intervention that saved the day. In “SuperNova”, Buzz uses persuasion to try and talk Mira out of her addiction before the King resorts to calling Commander Nebula. Buzz later affirms her capability as a space ranger to save her from expulsion. In “The Starthought,” finally, Buzz, Booster, and XR sneakily followed Mira to Cosmo’s with the king (they may have brought him there), but they offer silent moral support while the king and his daughter talk it out. Buzz ensures that King Nova plays the appropriate part of the supportive parent that Mira needs. Buzz can be seen as an alternative dad figure—but I think he brings a whole new level of meaning to the phrase ‘mom friend’.  

The final scene at Cosmo’s is an apt finale for King Nova’s arc.

King: I guess I just need to get used to the fact that you don’t need your father’s anymore. Mira: Well, actually…I do. The bill? I left my unibucks in my other spacesuit. Thanks, Daddy. King: *laughs* Of course you did. My treat.

Father and daughter are still connected, even though their roles in relation to one another are now those of hands-off parent and independent adult child. The king has also accepted Buzz, Booster, and XR as Mira’s new family away from home.

Mira’s arc in Buzz Lightyear of Star Command is the story of a young woman stepping into her new life as an adult. I conclude, then, that King Nova’s arc is the story of a father who at first refuses to allow his adult child to grow up, but then learns the hard way to let his daughter decide her own future.

I apologize for this being such a long essay but there was a lot I wanted to say. If you are more informed on the subjects of mythology, anthropology, psychology, and family studies or you’re just a fan like me, feel free to add constructive comments or corrections.

My personal takeaway: if Mira Nova can figure out her daddy issues, then mine aren't hopeless either.

Video Sources

(Wish I had more, I put this together on somewhat short notice)

Dr. Joshua Coleman On Family Estrangement

Dr. Jordan Peterson

Pinocchio and Leaving Your Parents

Mother's vs. Father's Roles

Tyrannical Fathers

Saving the Father Figure

Conversation with Jonathan Pageau about AI and Fairy Tales

[allzelemonz]

Mr. Mayor: Vlad Masters X NSG Reader

Decided to make it gender neutral despite the request because I love Vlad and I know other boys and enbys do too. Also made the reader Jack Fenton’s sibling because I think there’s a slap in the face situation part 2 later on.

Visiting your brother’s family was always great. Jack rambled on about something ghost related while Jazz caught you up on her academic successes and Maddie told you about the big new events you’d missed since visiting last. Your favorite part of the visit was taking Danny to hang out. Your nephew was your favorite, not that you’d ever say it out loud.

So taking Danny to the Nasty Burger to meet with his friends was right in your wheelhouse. Sam and Tucker seemed like really nice kids. You admired Sam’s taste in the weird things and Tucker’s understandable love for technology. In talking to the kids you remembered what Maddie had told you.

“So, the new mayor, not your favorite person?” You looked around at the high schooler's faces.

“He tried to make us wear school uniforms, started a curfew at four o’clock, and we almost lost the Nasty Burger.” Danny explained.

“Does he have some sort of vendetta against you or something?” You asked as you went to take a bite of a fry.

The teens looked at you skeptically. As if you knew something you weren’t supposed to.

“What?” You looked around. “Am I missing something?”

“He’s just a bad guy, that’s all.” Sam clarified.

“He’s the guy that’s been chasing after Danny’s mom since they were in college, other than that he never seemed that bad.” You set down the fry you were never going to get the chance to eat. “He and Jack always spent summers between semester doing stupid ghost expermments in th attic.”

“So you knew him before…” Danny stopped himself from finishing.

“Before?”

“Before college?” Tucker filled questioningly.

“Yeah, yeah, you knew him from when my dad went to college?”

“Not really.” You answered. “Just caught glimpses of him. I was in high school so I didn’t really pay attention to what Jack did.” You shrugged. “He seemed nice, but he stopped coming over so often for some reason.”

Once again the teens looked at each other as if they knew something special.

“All right, who wants to tell me?” You broke their little staring contest.

“Tell you what?” Tucker spoke in more of a series of squeaks rather than words.

“Yeah, there’s nothing to tell.” Sam covered.

You turned to Danny. “Nephew.”

He gulped and let out a nervous laugh. “It’s like Sam said, he’s just a really bad guy now.”

“Explain.”

The look of a disappointed (Aunt/Uncle/Auncle-This is the most common gender neutral term I’ve found) was something that could move mountains. Danny shifted in his seat clearly trying to come up with a convincing lie.

“Daniel, tell me.” You narrowed your brows and the kid looked white as a ghost.

Hold on, no. His hand was gone. The one that was resting on the table. Gone.

“Is this a ghost thing?” You asked.

Danny looked down at his hand and tried to play it off as if it was just a weird angle. It didn’t work. With all the nervous muttering and poorly formed excuses it was obvious they were lying.

“You’re half ghost?” It was hard to believe, but it was the only thing that the kids didn’t sound like they were lying about.

“Yes, just keep your voice down.” Danny warned. “Vlad is half ghost too, that’s how he became mayor and got all of his money.”

“So he’s bad because he played to his strengths?” You muttered to yourself.

You gathered up the trash around the table.

“Why don’t you introduce me to him, Danny. I’m sure he’s not that bad of a guy.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Sam chimed in.

“I may be related to Jack Fenton, but that doesn’t mean I’m an idiot.” You looked at Danny who seemed to forget that he could do ghostly things and was trying to hide in his shirt. “Come on, Danny.”

Reluctantly Danny left his friends to introduce you to his arch nemesis. A fourteen year old with an arch nemesis and it had to be your nephew. Town hall was busy, but that’s what town halls are like. Danny helped you walk through a few walls until you were outside of Vlad’s office. The fact that your nephew could just walk through walls was going to take some getting used to. Danny opened the door to see a rather handsome man sitting at a large desk with a fluffy white cat in his lap. He looked up at the sound of the door clicking open.

“Why Daniel, to what do I owe the pleasure?” His voice had a calming effect.

“My (Aunt/Uncle/Auncle) wanted to meet you.” Danny seemed tense in the way he spoke. “I’ll be at home.’ He muttered to you before leaving the room.

You closed the door as he left.

“Good to meet you Mr. Masters, I’m (Y/n), Jack’s (Brother/Sister/Sibling).”

“Oh, yes, I remember seeing you around.” Vlad recalled. “Please sit.”

You did so, taking the seat across from him.

“I wanted to meet you because I’d always been a fan of your work.”

“Oh, thank you, it's always nice to meet a fan.”

“And because I never got the chance to really meet you when you and Jack were friends.”

“I must say, I do regret not meeting you sooner.” Vlad leaned forward and rested his chin in his hands. The cat scurried away to a small tower by the window.

“Why did you and Jack stop talking?” You asked.

“Oh, college passed and we went separate ways.” He waved off the issues.

“That’s it?”

“Well, I used to have a bit of jealousy toward he and Maddie, but I feel it passing more and more with each word.”

“Each what?”

“Each day.” Vlad corrected himself.

“Right…” Your eyes wandered to the framed Packers jersey on his wall. “You’re a Packers fan?”

“Why yes.” Vlad smiled fondly at the jersey. “I’ve tried to buy the team itself, but no luck.”

“I’ve always been a bit of a fan, and I love the jersey.” You complemented.

“Say, would you like to accompany me to a game this season?”

You blushed red. A very attractive man just asked you to go to your favorite team's game.

“I, uh, I’d love to.”

“I have my own box, bottle service and all of the perks.” He bragged. “Afterall someone with your looks deserves nothing less.”

You let out a nervous half laugh. “Thank you, Mr. Masters.”

“Oh, please, Vlad.” He insisted.

“Right, Vlad.”

The name rolled off your tongue in such a pleasant way. Jack might kill you for this, but come on.

“If you’d like we go for dinner tonight as well.” Vlad offered.

“Sure.” You answered right away.

After having to interrogate Danny and his friends you realized you never really got to eat.

“Shall we then?” Vlad waited by you with his arm out to take.

You walked with him to a limo reserved just for the mayor. He sat next to you and gave great conversation. You discussed the Packers, politics of Amity Park, and personal preferences. Dinner was much of the same, but with more food. Vlad wasn’t like Danny had said. He was a gentleman. He may have acquired his money by not-so-legal means, but he was a nice guy.

The ride home was more conversation. Vlad bought the ticket to the game he’d promised and inquired about why you were in Amity Park.

“It was just time to visit, catch up with Jazz and Danny.” You explained. “I try to tune out Jack, he calls every week or so anyway.”

“And how long will you be staying in our fair city?”

“Around a week.”

“And I couldn’t persuade you to stay any longer?” Vlad offered.

“I, uh, I don’t know.” You thought. “Maybe.”

“There is a position open at city hall if it interests you.” He met your eyes. “I’d be happy to pull some string to keep you around.”

“I wouldn’t mind that.” You nodded along.

You hadn’t noticed how close the two of you were. Until Vlad’s hand was already cupping your cheek. He gave you a moment to react before he leaned in and pressed your lips together. It was a sweet kiss, timid. As if he hadn’t done it in a long time.

You scooted closer to him on the seat and wrapped your arms around him, one of your hands finding his pony tail to play with. Vlad rested his other hand on your side and pulled you a bit closer. You pressed further and intensified the kiss. Vlad obliged and kept the pace, kissing you with as much passion.

The car came to a stop and made you both separate. Time was cut short.

“I suppose I’ll see you soon?”

“Of course.”

“Lunch tomorrow?”

“I’d love to.”

Vlad opened the door for you to step out and gave you one last smile before the car drove away. You were definitely going to see him again.

[babygirldennis]

This shit is fake bby!!!

Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.

I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care

First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.

Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content

So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.

1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?

2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?

3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.

Moving on

Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.

Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.

Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about

The patriarchy

Privilege

Socialism

No more personal responsibility(?)

The... nature of power in society(??)

How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.

On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.

Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on

Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.

I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.

I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.

Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.

Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!

Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one

Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..

These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.

But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:

1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.

And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.

And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"

Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.

However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.

Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone

Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.

[benevolentbirdgal]

A “brief” reference guide to modern Jewish denominations / Jewish Writing Advice / Jewish Identity / Jewish Reference Guide [graphic at bottom]

Writing a Jew or Jewish family? Aware that Judaism is not a monolith and want to honor that? Great! Need help with that? 100% cool - I’m here as your friendly (virtual) neighborhood Jewish professional to help. Just want to know more about Jewish denominations in comparison to one another? Also great! Fair warning - this is a long one. At least I included a graphic at the bottom?

Quick notes to acknowledge: As always, this is an American and Americanish perspective (and denominations as discussed here are MOSTLY relevant in the U.S. anyways). Additionally, the modern denominations as we think of them today really sprung from Ashkenazi communities in the 19th and 20th centuries. Most extant U.S. synagogues, day schools, and groups follow Ashkenazi customs and align with a denomination born of Ashkenazi tradition (aligning with the approximately 90% of Jewish-Americans who are Ashkenazi or Ashkenazi plus another community). Sephardi, Mizrachi, and other Jewish communities have their own traditions and jurisprudence. Most organized non-Ashkenazi communities in the U.S. identify as nondenominational but most closely compare in practice to orthodoxy, and many non-Ashkenazi Jews (especially outside of major population centers that may have other specific subgroup’s synagogues) are members of and very involved in Ashkenazi-originating movements, institutions, and synagogues. 

For the purpose’s of today’s discussion, we’ll start in the 19th century, because Karaites vs Pharisees vs Sadducees is a (his)story for another time. This also isn’t a history of how these denominations came to be-with the exception of some ultraorthodox groups, which may have sprung from the shtel a little earlier, all the below movements popped out of the nineteenth and twentieth centuries. I’m also going to list approximate percentage of the American Jewish population, and I’m going to (kinda) go in order from most to least strict/traditionally observant. 

Ultraorthodox (aka Haredi): The strictest, more traditional and expansive observance of the Torah, Talmud, and minhagim (customs). About 1% of American Jews are ultraorthodox. Ultraorthodox is not a unified movement. 

1a. Haredi, Satmar, and most other groups generally isolate themselves from the wider Jewish world and secular world.

1b. Chabad is also ultraorthodox, but specially seeks to interact with less observant Jews. I wouldn’t call it proselytizing, because they don’t seek to make gentiles Jewish, but they do try and find less observant Jews and bring them closer to Judaism, also establishes small synagogues around the country and world in isolated place. 

1c. Ultraorthodox are the most visibly Jewish attired group, wearing Kippahs for all men and boys and tichels (headscarves) and/or wigs for married women. Very modest attire for all. In Ashkenazi Ultraorthodox communities, men also tend to only wear black and white, hats in addition to their kippah (for grown and married men), and wearing tzitzit (a garmet with four corners with strings attached worn under a shirt with the threads sticking out). 

1d. Most likely to speak Yiddish or Hebrew as first language.

1e. No gender equality, very strict kosher, and intense community adherence to particular brand of Judaism.

1f. Communities generally led by a Rabbi and a Rebbetzin (Rabbi’s wife) as pair (rabbis are generally expected to be married).

1g. No female Rabbis, same-sex marriage, or intermarriage. Lots of children. Pretty much all boys have Bar Mitzahs, rarely do girls have Bat Mitzvahs. 

1h. Services entirely in Hebrew (except maybe the sermon).

1i. Only count matrilineal Jews and converts-Jewish father and gentile mother doesn’t count for them. 

1j. Very strict observance of prohibitions and commandments pertaining to Shabbat and holidays. 

Modern orthodox: Orthodox, but with some adaptations to modern life. Roughly 9% of American Jews. Also some division within modern orthodoxy (with some congregations being more liberal than others, particularly in regards to women and LGBTQ+ folks), but there are a couple of major organizations that most modox rabbis and congregations affiliate with one another through larger denomination movements (i.e. the Orthodox Union and the Rabbinical Council of America). 

2a. Modern orthodox Jews regularly interact with other Jews who are more liberal. They tend to live in more Jewish communities but no issues with interacting with outside world.

2b. Modest clothing and men wear kippot everywhere (when safe). Married women also usually cover their hair (with wigs or tichels). Men also typically wear tzitzit. 

2b. Gender roles, but progress being made. Handful of female rabbis emerging in 2010s/2020s. Whether women count in a minyan depends on the specific congregation and many modern orthodox shuls will have separate women’s prayer groups. The prevalence of Bat Mitzvahs also varies wildly congregation to congregation.

2c. Like ultraorthodox, communities are typically led by a Rabbi and his wife the Rebbetzin. Some acceptance of homosexual individuals as members of the community, but no same-sex marriage (some alternate ceremonies emerging). Like one out gay male rabbi. No intermarriage.

2d. Very strict adherence to kosher, would likely not eat at someone less kosher’s home.

2e. Usually have on the higher end of a “normal” amount of children. Services entirely in Hebrew (except sermon).

2f. Only count matrilineal Jews and converts-Jewish father and gentile mother doesn’t count for them.

Less traditionally observant than this is often known as “liberal Judaism” - around 90% of American Jews.

2g.  Very strict observance of prohibitions and commandments pertaining to Shabbat and holidays. 

Conservative: Brands itself as middle of the road Jewish movement. about 18% of the American Jewish population. No connection to conservative politics, most Conservative with a C Jews are liberal or moderate politically. Often called “Masorti” outside the U.S and hypothetically a unified movement under several connected organizations (i.e. the Masorti Olami and the Jewish Theological Seminary). 

3a. Gender equality. Female rabbis and LGBTQ rabbis definitely an acceptable thing, but not as common as with Reform or Reconstructionist. 

3b. Formally sanctioned ceremony for same-sex couples to wed under Jewish law since 2012 and affirmation ceremonies since 2006.

3c. Modesty in synagogues but comparable to regular American attire otherwise.

3d. Generally comparable family size to other American families.

3e. Kosher, but not as strict as orthodoxy. Many Conservative Jews have kosher homes but are willing to be more lax when eating out. Synagogues are always kosher.

3f. Services mostly in Hebrew, sermons and some prayers definitely in local language.

3g. Intermarriage is frowned upon, but many otherwise Conservative Jews will be married by a less traditional rabbi or justice of the peace to non-Jewish partners. Although Conservative rabbis do not perform interfaith marriages, many interfaith couples are in Conservative synagogues. In the 90s/2000s it was way less friendly to interfaith couples/families (laughs in having a goyish dad) but that has improved in the past 3-5 years substantially. 

3h. Observance of prohibitions and commandments pertaining to Shabbat and holidays is regulated but less strict than orthodoxy. Varies a bit by community. A good example to illustrate this is getting to synagogue on Shabbat:

By the book (not necessarily reflected by attendees): Orthodoxy says you have to walk there (no driving), Reform says it’s no issue to drive on Shabbat, and Conservative says you can drive but only to get to shul and back. 

3i. As with orthodoxy, only matrilineal Jews count. Most interfaith families with non-Jewish moms (or moms who converted post-birth of the kid), particularly those who want to participate in Conservative communities will convert the child as a baby so they can have a normal Jewish upbringing (beyond an extra blessing/prayer in the Bnai Mitzvah process and social awkwardness that oft accompanies interfaith families in Jewish spaces).

3j. Most dress comparably to others in geographic area (synagogue notwithstanding, see my other post). Men on the higher end of observant might also wear kippahs all the time as well. Outside of explicitly Jewish contexts, similar lifestyles to surrounding populations. Around the same number of children as in gentile families. 

Reform: Not at all traditionally observant. About 35% of American Jews. More or less a cohesive movement linked by organizations (i.e. Women of Reform Judaism and the Union for Reform Judaism).

4a. Reform Judaism is the largest group. It generally views Judaism through the lens of social justice, repairing the world, and cultural heritage as opposed to religious mandate. 

4b. Very big on personal choice in what one observes, I like to call it “choose your own adventure” Judaism. 

4c. Keeping kosher is uncommon. Some shuls aren’t even kosher.

4d. Reform services use the least Hebrew, although this is changing in some places. 

4e. Reform’s standard of Jewishness is 1+ Jewish parent(s) and raised doing Jewish things, regardless of which parent is Jewish. 

4f. Very feminist/egalitarian and welcoming to LGBTQ+ folks. Highest number of not-straight rabbis and female rabbis. 

4g. Intermarriage very common and can be performed by Reform rabbis. 

4h. Reform Judaism was way ahead of the curve in terms of LGBTQ+ rights and religion. The movement has had members advocating for homosexual rights (protection in housing, employment, civil marriage, and other nondiscrimination protections) since 1965 (finally passing formal resolutions in 1977), began proactively including/welcoming out gay rabbis in 1990, created same-gender marriage Jewish ceremonies in 1996/7, and has made resolutions explicitly including bi and trans people as well since 2004 (stuff earlier than that generally specified “gay and lesbian”). An additional resolution was passed in 2015 regarding trans and nonbinary inclusion, alongside guides to help congregations do so. 

4i. See #3j - also applies here. 

Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform, are the biggest and “standard” movements people will most typically list and identify with, most likely to appear in surveys and studies, are older than everything listed below. Modern Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform all started in the 19th century and some Ultraorthodox groups trace back further than that. I’ve outlined some practical differences, but the basic theoretical difference is that Orthodox considers traditional Jewish law (Halacha) binding and you can’t change it, Conservative believes it it’s binding but the community can change it, and Reform believes that it’s nonbinding. 

Some smaller movements: 

Reconstructionist - Newest even remotely well-known and organized movement, founded in the 1920s as an offshoot of the Conservative movement. I would describe it as “build your own adventure but Halacha matters (or at least some of it).” The first thing almost every recon Jew I’ve ever met has told me when describing reconstructionism is that they invented the bat mitzvah in 1922, which basically translates to “tradition matters but also egalitarianism.”

Maybe 2%-5% of American Jews today self-ID as Reconstructionist, but I would argue that a lot of nondenominal practitioners have philosophies fairly aligned with the recon ethos. 

Jewish Renewal: very small and relatively disorganized movement started in the 1960s. Attempts to bring Jewish tradition and modern sensibilities, hippie Jews who care about Halacha. Big on mysticism and music, doing Jewish enthusiastically, and a tendency towards more traditional observance in conjunction with progressive politics. Kind of the laid-back cousin of reconstructionism, although neither sprung from the other. 

(Cultural) Humanistic Judaism: “Non-theistic” Judaism for atheist Jews who still want a connection to their history, culture, and celebrations. 

Nondenominational - Nondenominational and post-denominational Jews are the fast growing group. Variety of liberal/non-traditionally observant beliefs and practices, but most will still contextualize themselves around the denominational scale.

[foundthe8wing]

Okay, doing this over here because my main tumblr is usually a place for me to vibe and I don’t want all the bullshit tied to that account, but basically: I’m really angry and disappointed with the dndads cast for how they’ve put a lot of the minors in their fanbase in danger. Everything below is a repost from twitter (with permission from the OP, crypticjoy), and I’ll link the thread in a reblog. 

Under a cut because it’s long and potentially triggering (content warnings for grooming, sexualizing minors, and sexual assault)

[OP tagged the relevant cast accounts; I added slashes here bc I’m not sure if those same urls exist on tumblr and I don’t want to be randomly tagging people over here]

5:49 PM Sep 5, 2020

“I don’t usually do this, but: the way that the cast of @/dungeonsanddads engages with their audience is actively dangerous to minors, and they need to get it together. (cw for discussion of grooming, sexualizing minors, sexual assault)

First off, there are some iffy jokes and situations in the podcast itself. I’m not going to get into all of it right here, but have a google doc: [doc will also be linked in reblog]

Yes, the kids in #dndads are fictional, but that doesn’t mean this stuff doesn’t affect real kids listening. a. it normalizes talking/joking about kids in that way and b. There’s a lot of inconsistancy and confusion on the lines they draw--

Paeden saying “baby” is weird but Ron sitting in Terry Jr’s lap isn’t? I’m confused. You know who the fuck relies on that type of confusion and unclarity? Fucking predators

And I’m not saying every in-character decision has to be perfectly moral or acceptable, but the way the cast, out of character, discuss what’s weird and what’s not sends a lot of mixed messages. And that’s legitimately dangerous.

So then you take all of this, and you add a patron discord server that lets nsfw discussions run virtually unchecked--you create a fandom space that allows adults to discuss kinks, and porn searches, and just, all this other stuff, with teenagers...

... and it becomes a breeding ground for grooming and abuse.

The creators aren’t responsible for babysitting their fanbase or for how people engage with their content outside of their spaces (though, again, I’d urge them to be very careful about what kind of messages they’re sending)

But  they ARE responsible for taking basic steps to keep the spaces that THEY create and engage with safe.

“But the rules for the server say 18+!” The rules say you have to be 18 *or have parental permission.* They also say to keep things PG-13. That’s vastly different than establishing something as an adult-only/nsfw space.

“Minors shouldn’t be joining/listening anyway!” The cast can’t control who listens and neither can I, but there’s a difference between knowing teens are listening to you discuss sex with your adult friends vs facilitating conversations between teens and adults on those topics.

“If people are uncomfortable they can just leave.” First off, this situation isn’t just uncomfortable, it’s unSAFE. Second: fuck that. It’s not on minors to set and maintain boundaries about this stuff; a lot of them literally do not know how

Not because they’re stupid, but because they’re young and inexperienced. It’s the responsibility of adults to set and enforce healthy boundaries around sexual discussions, and this particular group of adults has done a fucking terrible job

(Maybe don’t encourage listeners to DM you about kinks! Maybe especially don’t do that when you’ve communicated, intentionally or not, that making and escalating sexual jokes is a really good way to get a reaction from you guys)

I get that they didn’t expect to have so many young listeners, but to be aware of that fact and make no adjustments whatsoever is irresponsible and it WILL lead to someone getting hurt. Does their “young, thirsty, female” audience only exist to them when they can laugh about it?

And let’s be absolutely 1000% clear: this isn’t an issue they’re unaware of. The stuff I’m talking about is an ongoing problem with how their server is run, but it came to a head with one specific situation very recently:

They released a bonus, patron-exclusive episode about the dads taking the bdsm test. Given the general state of the server, I was worried about where those discussions might lead, so before it dropped, I reached out to @/anthony_burch to express my concern

He told me he raised the issue with @/fwong and Ashley, meaning at least three members of the dndads team were aware of the situation, and decided it didn’t warrant any type of preemptive action on their part

(alternatively, it means Anthony lied, which would be a whole separate issue)

[Image ID: a discord DM conversation from Sep 1, 2020, between a crossed out username and reverendanthony. It reads: 

OP: heyyyyy have you guys considered that releasing an episode focused on the bdsm test is almost inevitably going to lead to a bunch of 15 year olds sharing their results in your server because you might want to get ahead of that before someone gets hurt

reverendanthony: oh holy shit, really good idea

OP: thanks, I know it's easy to veer into that territory just because of the nature of your show but I wanted to bring it to your attention because I figured you don't want to create a situation that's like, actively dangerous (and for the record I'm willing to discuss what I think would make it safer but I'm also not going to assume you want/need my input, obviously you can handle it however you see fit)

reverendanthony: No, thank you for bring it up, I really appreciate it -- I just raised the issue with Freddie and Ashley

OP: Good to know, thank you /End ID]

I’m not overreacting. I have seen this shit happen, to my friends and to myself, and watching the dndads cast take absolutely no meaningful action to prevent situations like that from occurring directly under their noses makes me fucking livid

I can guarantee that the #dungeonsanddaddies fanbase includes both predators and survivors of abuse, grooming, etc (including those currently living through it), and I need them to think very, very hard about which group they’re prioritizing.

And I need that choice to be evident through more than just their words, because it doesn’t fucking matter how much you “really appreciate” that I brought up my concerns if you do fuck-all to address them.

It doesn’t matter how many times you say the word “consent” if apparently everyone was okay that “Darryl gets sexually assaulted” was almost a plot point played for laughs.

(His dare from Scam  would have been rape, straight up. Just because no one said the word doesn’t mean it wasn’t coercive and gross).

I’d like to think the @/dungeonsanddads cast isn’t intentionally encouraging abuse, but they’re sure as hell enabling it, and they needed to get their shit together ages ago, because they’re not the ones their negligence hurts.”

Quote retweet by OP 6:51 PM Sep 7, 2020

“So, they updated the rules for the patron server, but I want to be really clear that from my perspective, it’s way too little, way too late. 

The new rules don’t adequately address the core issues and they certainly don’t absolve the cast of the harm they’ve already caused. 

[Tweet includes 2 screenshots: one of a bot asking people to click thumbs up to confirm they’re 18+ (or have a parent’s permission) and agree to the rules, and one that includes two of the rules. It reads: 

“This is an 18+ space. Them’s the rules: per Patreon’s policy, you must be 18+ or have parental permission.

Use language as if you’re at your parents dinner table. Don’t get people in trouble because of your SPICY POSTS. Keep conversation polite. NSFW content is not allowed!”]

(and before anyone says I should bring up my concerns privately, a quick refresher on how well that went last time I did it:) 

[links back to the “(alternatively, it means Anthony lied . . .)” tweet from the original thread]

So hey, @/fwong, some thoughts:

1.The rules are vague and unclear: what /exactly/ do you mean when you say “NSFW content is not allowed!” when the content of your show itself is so often nsfw? And how are you planning to enforce this?

Does it mean you’ll shut down the MBIC conversation that is literally just kink discussion? I need you to be clear on where the line is, because, again, predators rely on that confusion. Don’t give them a gray area to play in. 

For an example of a more clear policy, it’s pretty easy to say, “yep, ‘Henry gets pegged’ sure is a sentence we said on our show and you don’t have to pretend it’s not, but if you’d like to discuss it in any more detail at all, you need to move”

2. Remember how I said I needed to be clear on whether you’re prioritizing survivors or predators? While I doubt it was intentional, the language you’re using here is prioritizing predators.

It’s not “don’t get people in trouble,” it’s “don’t make people uncomfortable.” It’s “we all have a responsibility to make sure this space is safe for everyone, especially the younger members of the community.”

You’re setting people up to be afraid of expressing concerns for fear of “getting people in trouble” or “inciting unnecessary drama.” Even if it’s not what YOU meant, it’s very easy for those words to be manipulated, so +

You absolutely have to be explicitly clear that if someone expresses their discomfort, you’ve got their back. Being safe is more important than being polite. 

3. I need every cast member to take responsibility for their own actions. I’ve gotten no indication from any of you that you understand the ways in which the in-show things I brought up were harmful.

Acknowledging that harm is important not just because of the immediate effects of that content, but also because it implicitly sets an example for how similar complaints should be dealt with going forward.

When someone says “hey, I was uncomfortable that you seem fine with the Glennary ship, because she reads as very young to me,” I don’t need a dissertation on how the perception of characters can evolve due to your improvisational nature

I need to hear “oh, I interpreted her differently, but you’re right, we should have been more clear, and I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Because your responses to your own mistakes set the tone for any other situations like that going forward.

How comfortable is someone going to be with coming to you, or Ash, or any of the mods about someone making them uncomfortable if they’ve seen that when people call YOU out, they’re argued with and shut down?

Don’t tell people you’ve “made it clear that you won’t go there” when they tell you that you ARE there. Listen to them and do better. 

Set the expectation that people will be respected when they raise their concerns. “If you want to come at me you have to bring the heat” is not an appropriate response on a subject that made people genuinely uncomfortable. 

In essence: set people up to be supported and protected, not dismissed. 

[It’s like a matriosche of tweets over here. This one links to another thread, also by crypticjoy. That thread reads:

A non-comprehensive guide to keeping discord servers safe for minors:

1. Make designated channels for nsfw/18+ discussion. Generally speaking, this is a lot more effective than banning those discussions altogether, because it’s a lot easier to say “hey, can you move this conversation?” than “hey, I need you to stop”

In fandom spaces, it’s usually a good idea to have separate channels for talking about nsfw fiction vs discussing your personal sex lives.

2. Give everyone minor/adult roles; make sure your 18+ channels are locked to people who don’t have an adult role. It’s important that there’s more of a barrier there than just checking a box.

3. NSFW channels shouldn’t necessarily be a free-for-all; be aware of people’s boundaries and respect them (for example, r*pe jokes aren’t funny or okay, even if you’re not making them around kids)

4. Explicitly state in your rules that people should feel free to come to mods if anyone is making them uncomfortable. Actually listen to people and resolve the situation if they do approach you.

5. Make it clear that creepy behavior via DMs or other means is also not tolerated--you can’t control what people do outside your server, but you can make the choice to not allow people like that in your space

6. Make sure mods are on top of things BEFORE people have to say anything; sometimes being a mod means being willing to be the “asshole” who shuts things down before they get out of hand, even if they’re not asked.

Be generally aware of signals that people are uncomfortable or that things are escalating too far, and address those situations sooner rather than later.

*It should be noted that safety involves a lot of components beyond just containing nsfw discussions; this thread just happens to be focused on that one specific element.

oh also! It's a good idea to provide resources on grooming so people know what to look out for [links to some resources; again, this’ll be in the reblog]]

So, @/dungeonsanddads, if you’re interested in anything beyond just having a flimsy excuse you can point to to cover your own ass, I’m gonna need you to try again.

Sorry I can’t be nicer about it, but I’ve given so many benefits of the doubt I could be running a successful charity, and this isn’t an issue I’m willing to drop. 

10:02 PM

Thought I was done but actually I've got a few more questions: to what extent were @/HeyBethMay, @/WillBCampos, and @/mattLarnold included in conversations about this issue/the new rules? Is this something your whole team is involved in?

Have you discussed what you're doing on a team and individual basis to keep your fan interactions safe, and are you on the same page about how much it matters? Are you holding each other accountable? Is everyone okay with where this ended up?”

[random2908]

So, I had an extremely eventful week!

On Monday morning, my coworker and I interviewed a potential replacement for my assistant. Later in the day, we each separately absolutely reamed my assistant for repeatedly ditching work, breaking promises, and not getting his work done. I’d been in the process of filling out official disciplinary paperwork with HR since the previous week, about that and other issues.

On Tuesday, my assistant gave notice, not for that reason but because his fiancee was moving to Boston for school and he’d gotten a job there.

Tuesday evening, my coworker and I had a long talk about how my assistant would now be making A LOT more than us at his new job. My coworker also found out what salary he was hired at, at our company, and it’s more than either of us had been hired at and the same amount my coworker (with a PhD thesis prize for best thesis in our subfield in his country, compared to my assistant with a fake Masters) was making at the time.  (Although my coworker had gotten two raises since then and my assistant had gotten none.) My coworker opined that out of all of us, really my assistant was the one who’d won.

Wednesday morning, my coworker had gotten himself so worked up over this that he was texting me about it before I even arrived at work. When I got in, he came to my lab, closed the door, and started ranting and pacing. He said he was going to write a letter to our bosses demanding a raise. He wanted to write to boss 2, not just boss 1, because boss 2 does co-own the company and should know what’s going on, because it’s very serious. I said he should add boss 1′s dad to the list, so it would be the whole board of directors. He said... he wasn’t sure it was that serious. I said it was that serious, and he demurred. He said he was going to send them the letter on Friday, which gave him two days to draft it and figure out what he wanted to say. We started discussing all the things that should go in, and he kept stopping and asking me if he was over-reacting, and I kept being like, no I’ve been with you all along on this. Then he said he was worried about how boss 1 (the CEO) would respond.

I told him, tell you what, I’ll go to boss 1 and knock on his door and talk to him in person right now. It’s lower stakes because it’s not in writing. I’ll see how he responds, get back to you, and then you’ll know how angry or polite you have to be in your letter. My coworker said that was a really good idea... but he didn’t want to force me into it. I was like, I’m doing it for me as much as for you, this is about both of us, I don’t mind. He said, ok, I could talk to the boss tomorrow, that would give me time to figure out our list of demands. I was like, we’ve been talking about this non-stop since last night--we’ve been talking about this for WEEKS since we got the employee handbook--I know our list of demands. I could do this right now. He kind of freaked out and said (again) that he didn’t want to push me into anything. After several minutes of back-and-forth, I was like, ok, I’m going right now and I walked out the door. He followed me out. I asked if he was coming with me, and he didn’t really answer. I said he could come with me if he wanted, we could do it together, collective bargaining like we’re always talking about and never actually do. It would be less scary together. He agreed, yeah, that would be less scary. Then I said, “But you don’t have to come with me. I’ll do this whether you do or don’t, so if you don’t want to, don’t worry about it.” He took a sharp turn into the bathroom and said, “I can’t.”

So I went alone. I told my boss I was feeling very frustrated with a number of things, and felt like company was being unnecessarily ungenerous. We talked for an hour. I got promises of:

1) The issue with the health insurance will be fixed, if I could identify the issue and write a formal complaint to HR about it. (I have identified the issue and it’s that our insurance includes co-insurance.)

2) Everyone at all levels will get 5 more days of PTO than the original draft from the employee handbook. The boss had been told by the HR firm that the policy as-written was a generous amount, but I said it wasn’t, and gave a lot of evidence. So we’re fixing it.

3) I’m getting a 10% raise in January. (I said surely he could imagine what a shock it was to hear how much my assistant would be making at his new job. He said the world is a fucked up place, and that someday I would be way more financially successful than my assistant, and that anyway I was leading a more fulfilling life by being a proficient scientist than my assistant ever would as a slacker fake-engineer. But then he realized that answer wasn’t doing it for me, so we talked some more about concrete salary numbers.)

So that went well!

Thursday and Friday were uneventful lol.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

I’m probably parrotting to the wrong choir here, but at least part of the truth about liking villains vs. condemning villains is...I don’t consume villain content in order to find healthy coping strategies and genuine life advice. I don’t look for healthy coping strategies in sci-fi films and fantasy books or on ao3 in the first place, because 99% of all that input is not produced by people that a) intent or b) are qualified to give meaningful life advice.

 Sometimes things we read or watch can be detrimental to our mental health or can make us happier or mean a lot to us. And that is also why it is important to tag, warn, and summarise content: So that people can avoid things that are bad for them and find things that comfort them. But what popular fiction never is, is a clear, intentional, professional, and universal guide.

 We already talked about how even the most horrible people will read novels where they resemble the bad guys and identify with the good guys instead rather than reflecting their own behaviour. That is, because narratives need stakes. The hero needs to be David, not Goliath. And we too see ourselves as Goliath, in our lives. Because there are always things that are bigger than us. And because we know that David will win.

 But sometimes...sometimes it is quite nice to feel like the giant. Especially when we’re used to feeling small.

 Sure “I like this villain because villains get to do things we want to but can’t” might seem like a tiny brained answer, but if you expand a little, there is truth to it: Sometimes I want to see someone go bloody ape-shit in response to trauma, injustice, being underestimated or forgotten. Sometimes I want to see someone just care about themselves and burn the whole place down and look fabulous doing it, because I know, that in real-life, very often it is sympathy and empathy holding me back for even insisting on minor and very rational things, simply because I don’t want to be a burden on others and because I prioritise other people very highly. There is catharsis in that; in seeing someone getting it out of their system in the most violent way possible just like there is catharsis in going for a run or punching the hell out of a punching bag when you’re frustrated even though you would never chase down and beat up a person.

Because even when see characters standing up for themselves - think of the infamous internet rage over Captain Marvel stealing that bike from the dude that harassed her – their actions are usually centred around punishing the culprit, not the emotions of the party that was wronged. But people got angry. Not because she stole a car, or because she stole it from a men even – but because her acting in response to sexual harassment connected the scene with deep roots of social context and political opinions and expectations.

And, despite hundreds, maybe thousands of films in existence where a white male protagonist steals a car or bike or anything else to save the day, she is read as a villain here simply for doing the rational thing. Much less could she have killed him and burnt down his house, because she is a hero and it doesn’t serve the plot and that would not be the thing a hero does.

A villain burning the whole joint down because someone looked at them funny is acting selfishly, self-centred. But what are you going to do, call them a villain? Duh. Complain about how what they’re doing is wrong? Well, yes.

 The lane of their actions is not narrowed by the actions of the culprit on the one side (heroes have to react appropriately and proportionally) and the expectations of the good-guy on the other (they have to act in accordance with forwarding the plot). Which means putting up with an asshole sidekick or apologising if they undergo character development that makes them a ‘better’ person and requires them to forgive someone). You might have your odd Logan who will throw a punch when he’s pissed – but here we already venture into the territory of an anti-hero.

And personally, our anger, our disappointment, all that will always be much more contained than any fictional space - by our financial situation, the people we depend on, our job, our studies, or family, our social circle. We live in a web of social expectations that we depend on every moment of our life.

Fiction itself also exists in a web of social context: What influence does it have on the audience? Will it sell? What implications does it have? How does it present its characters? Who is the author and what do they stand for? - but the fictional space, aka the world constructed in a novel, is wholly separate:

If I write a novel where I state that every Canadian person likes the colour blue and wears funny hats, then this is true in the universe of that novel, no matter what any Canadian reader might feel about it. This means two things:

1.       As writers, producers, and even as producers of fan-content, we have to be critical about what we put into the world, because by creating a fictional space, we create characters who cannot stand up against the things we say about them or make them do. Just like the superheroine in the skimpy outfit who gets her powers through the sun shining down on her nipples cannot have an authentic discussion about her body. And when young girls read our comic and see that all the male heroes are clothed and the heroine isn’t, then we are the one that came up with the sunshine-nipples.

2.       Our very own, personal interpretation of the novel – even our own - and the way we relate to it is our own. The feelings we project on the characters are individual, personal, and shaped by us.

And yes, villains usually see their comeuppance. And the thing is, many people argue here: “Well, it’s okay if the villain does x, as long as they’re punished for it.” But...that’s a difficult subject. A piece of fiction can condemn the actions of the villain without seeing them lose – the challenge to the writer is to still form a satisfying narrative, because the villain winning is the ‘likely’-seeming thing that every narrative subverts when the hero levels up and returns with her new friends to kick the villain’s ass. But even if you sympathise with the villain, seeing them win would still be an unsatisfying narrative, most of the time.

Because the whole point of an actual evil villain - and sympathising with an actual villain - is that what they’re doing is unjust. Malicious. Selfish. And projecting your desire to strike back or stand up on a villain and seeking catharsis through seeing them go wild and tear down the city needs the pushback. For them burning down the house to be satisfying, you need to see the house burn. For them to blow up the house of parliament to be satisfying – you must see the explosion.

And watching them lose provides the ultimate, necessary gravitas. Watching Team Rocket fly off with Pikachu and live happily ever after on Team Rocket money would not be satisfying. Watching our super-villain burn the world to a crisp with their death-laser would not be satisfying if they just end up getting their rocket and flying off while drinking space-mojitos.

Whether they end up being redeemed or not: The initial moment that someone fights back and defeats them at the height of their immorality and prevents the suffering of innocents is the moment that their willingness and readiness to commit violence is put to the test.

 We know the hero goes through a journey of their own - one that requires sacrifice and steels their commitment until they are ready to take on the villain. And knowing that someone is willing to make sacrifices to be able to take the villain down is the ultimate acknowledgement of the transgressive act the villain committed. Without it, it would be empty. Like watching someone punch the air.

But the truth is also that when you recreate the fictional space in another, secondary space – fanfiction, fan content, fanart – you decide what to focus on. Like, we all enjoy hurt/comfort stories, but they have a different intention than something focussed on action or the growth of the hero – because that requires for us to see the villain go down. The focus is no longer the transgressive acts of the villain – but to lay bare the pain that caused them. It is no longer about beating them down for the sake of justice.

Like, when I make a post about Frankenstein’s monster living happily ever after and people tell me that hey, the monster killed a lot of people - then we have a different premise. Because me not adding a line about the evil things the monster did to my post was based on the premise that you knew that random tumblr user langernameohnebedeutung does not condone the crime of murder because she posts about a 200-year-old book. And the #fact that my point doesn’t construct an ending where the monster stands in front of a judge and is sentenced to a certain time in jail or punished by a more heroic person is because I have daddy issues and seeing a giant creature go on a rampage through Europe to get back at its asshole Dad in a way I never could makes me quite happy the novel focussing on its acts of violence already did this and my post clearly had a different intention.

[hongyueg]

When an Orc Teaches a Math Class

What happens when Bolg's father gets accepted as his high school's new math teacher? https://archiveofourown.org/works/31756993 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Bolg heard the news his father had been accepted as The Middle-earth Academy for Cooperation and Mutual Success’ new math teacher, two things popped into his mind. The first being that he would allow no one to learn the new math teacher was his father and the second being he was going to avoid the math department as much as possible when he arrived at The Middle-earth Academy for Cooperation and Mutual Success (or MACMutS as everybody called it) in the Fall for his second year of high school.

“I can’t believe it!” Azog, Bolg’s father, exclaimed in Orkish as he pointed at his computer screen (and, yes, Orcs did have internet) for the seventeenth time.

Bolg, who sat at the kitchen table, nodded. He stared through the entrance of their home at the mountains in the distance. The ridges’ dark colors were comforting like the soup his father made during the Winter months. All the Orcs in their commune always jostled over to their dwelling as soon as they smelled the aroma of Azog’s signature dish seeping out of the little hut. With his dad now working at MACMutS full-time, Bolg wondered how their comrades would fare without him.

“This is wonderful,” Azog babbled on. “I’m finally going to meet new people, make connections, and see the world!”

~~~

A month and eleven days later, Azog and Bolg were off to see the world, or rather off to travel by train for eight hours and seven minutes to get to Gondor from Gundabad. After a little hassle at the train station to get a taxi to Minas Tirith (the problem was that Orcs didn’t have a system based on currency, so it was a bit hard to convince a Human driver to take them for free. Azog eventually just gave the Human his phone number and promised to do car maintenance for no charge at any time. Bolg was a bit skeptical how this could happen since Azog didn’t own any equipment to do car repairs, but the driver accepted the deal, so Bolg stayed silent), they arrived just outside the school’s main gates.

“How did you get here last time?” Azog huffed as he pulled the last of the luggage out of the taxi and waved the driver goodbye. Azog had brought an extra luggage bag just for his cooking ingredients to his son’s disapproval.

Bolg scratched his pale bald head. He didn’t want to admit he had relied on a Dwarvish prince he had met on the train to pay for his fare. “Uh, I just gave the driver the rest of the snacks you had packed me.”

“This will need to change,” Azog declared. “I will speak to the administration and make sure they give Orc students a pass to get free taxi rides. This school is supposed to be the symbol of acceptance and how can it live up to that ideal when it’s a financial struggle for some of their students to even get here.”

Bolg had stopped listening to his father as he noticed a few other students, non-Orcs who were probably First Years, gaping in their direction. He could somewhat understand their astonishment. Orcs only left their secluded communities for political or educational reasons and it had been over three hundred years since any major force of Orcs had participated in the continent’s wars. Still, Orcs weren’t that rare. If anything, they were much more numerous than Elves. Maybe they come from rural communities. Wait, why am I making excuses for them? They shouldn’t be staring . He glared at them and they hastily turned their gazes away.

“Well, Bolg, I’ll let you go to your dorm room. It’s a shame that you aren’t in any of my classes, but I will certainly see you around!”

As he trudged away from his father, Bolg prayed they would never cross paths inside the school.

~~~

“Bolg, what do you think of the new math teacher?” Rosie Cotton, a Hobbit in his year and one of his new dorm hallmates, asked as they headed off to the cafeteria together. The height difference was considerable between the two of them and Bolg had to bend down to hear her. The good thing was Rosie usually just chattered on without waiting for Bolg to reply, so if he missed a few words here and there, it was rarely an issue.

Bolg squinted his eyes against the late Summer sun, which was still bright despite the fact it was nearly evening. Orc eyes aren’t meant for this much luminosity. A pang of homesickness shot through him as he missed the cool, dark mountains around Gundabad. “Yeah, I think it’s great the school is hiring an Orc to be on their faculty.” He felt appreciative that Orcs didn’t have last names. No one had to know that Azog was his father and he preferred not to answer questions about how Orcs were birthed.

“Me, too! The school has been pretty good about having a diverse set of teachers and administrators, so it’s about time they hired an Orc. Ooh, I heard from Fredegar Bolger…” And Rosie rambled on until they arrived at the dining commons and went their separate ways.

After Bolg had picked up a steaming bowl of rabbit soup, he found his way over to his friends. It had been a couple months since he had spoken to any of them. While he did have internet back home, the connection wasn’t strong enough for video chatting.

“Bolg,” Gothmog cried, slapping his fat peach-colored hand against Bolg’s back as Bolg slid down on the bench beside the Mordorian Orc. “Good to see you. I was worried that you were never going to show up.”

“What, Gothmog? I was just finishing unpacking.” Bolg glanced at the other people at the table. There was Yazneg, an Orc from Moria, Shagrat, a Black Uruk from Cirith Ungol, and three dwarves from the Lonely Mountain who were all related and named Bifur, Bofur, and Bumbur. Off at the edge of the table was their year’s loner, a Human named Aragorn. Rumor had it that Aragorn had been raised by Elves, but had been kicked out for undisclosed reasons. He currently lived as a nomad among the Rangers of the North. The theories for why the Elves supposedly shunned Aragorn were vast and Bolg, despite having sat at the same dining table as the boy everyday of the last school year, still had no knowledge of Aragorn’s true history.

Bolg only half-listened to his friends as he slurped his stew. Shagrat complained about the creepy giant spider that lived next to his commune’s settlement. The dwarfs discussed how the mining expenditures in the East were progressing. Not like the Orcs really cared as money meant little to them.

“Y’know that new math teacher?” Yazneg’s voice jolted through his ears. Bolg spit his stew back into his bowl.

The others, even Aragorn, stared at Bolg.

“You okay, buddy?” Bofur asked, his dark brown eyes brimming with worry.

Bolg took a steady breath and placed his bowl back down onto the table with a soft clink. “Y-yes. Um, what were you saying about the new math teacher, Yazneg?”

Yazneg frowned, but carried on. “I was just gonna say that when I mentioned his name to my commune, they said that he was originally from Moria, but moved to Gundabad when he was young. I just found it kinda strange. For you non-Orcs, it’s rare that one of us leaves the place where we’re from. Bolg, you’re from Gundabad. Do you know anything about Azog?”

Once again, all eyes were on him. Bolg chewed his lip. “Uh, I don’t think so.”

Everyone continued to peer at him until Gothmog broke the silence by bragging about a difficult wrestling tournament he had won over the Summer.

Bolg’s secret was safe.

~~~

At least that’s what he had thought. They had all finished eating and saying their goodbyes. Bolg had been heading over to catch up with Rosie who was exiting the dining hall by herself when he felt a firm hand grasp his wrist.

Tense, he twisted around to see Aragorn looking up at him with narrowed eyes. Bolg trembled and had to remind himself that he was a Gundabad Orc and Gundabad Orcs weren’t scared of anything. “Why didn’t you tell them that Azog is your father?” Aragorn asked in a low voice.

Bolg glanced around him to make sure there were no onlookers. Fortunately, most other students were too occupied catching up with their friends and eating to notice Bolg and Aragorn. “I-I...How did you know?”

Aragorn shrugged. “I’ve heard about your father before. As Yazneg says, it’s rare for an Orc to leave their commune.”

“You Rangers spy on us?”

“You’re not answering my question.” Aragorn released Bolg’s wrist.

Bolg rubbed it. Aragorn had been gripping his wrist tight. “Do I have to? You never tell anyone your history, so why should I tell you mine?”

The Human sighed. “Fair point. Okay, keep your secrets to yourself, but don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone else.” With that, Aragorn strode away.

~~~

Why did Bolg want to keep his father’s identity a secret? Aragorn’s question rattled Bolg’s brain for the rest of the night. Luckily, if his roommate Faramir noticed, he didn’t say anything as they both prepared for bed.

Bolg lay on his mattress, staring at the darkness glittering around him. He had chosen the bed farthest from the window because light and Orcs didn’t exactly mix, but the usual comfort gloom gave him wasn’t there.

He turned onto his side again, the frame creaking underneath him as he moved.

“Hey, Bolg, are you alright?” On the other side of the room, the lamp flicked on, spreading glaring light across the open space.

Bolg sat up and twisted around to see Faramir peering at him. The young Human’s long dark hair was a bit tussled from lying down and his gray eyes appeared concerned. Bolg didn’t know much about his roommate beyond the fact he was the Gondorian steward’s son. He had thought it was a bit strange that Faramir had chosen to stay on campus when he lived not too far away in a palace, but decided he wasn’t in a place to question a noble’s decision.

“Yeah, I-I’m fine,” Bolg stammered.

“Just wanted to make sure since you’ve moved around at least five times now.”

Nine, Bolg thought to himself. “Yeah, everything’s good. I’m just stressing about something stupid. Not something anybody would care to listen to.”

“Try me. I’ve been told I’m a good listener.” The Human gave a little smile.

Bolg had never talked to anybody about his feelings before. It wasn’t something accepted in Orkish culture. If you had an issue, you just complained about the person closest in proximity to you and then wrestled with them until you felt better. Bolg didn’t feel like wrestling with Faramir. “Um, well, it’s about a certain someone. I don’t want anyone knowing about my, uh, connection to them because it’s just so embarrassing and he’s just so embarrassing and he doesn’t exactly fit certain standards and I think everybody would think I’m weird for being connected to him and then it...I would be a mess…”

Bolg stared at the ground. He was so glad that Orcs didn’t blush or he would be bright red right now.

“You have a crush on someone?” Faramir asked, his eyebrows raised. “It’s fine if you do. Feeling embarrassed about crushes is normal and you never know, maybe he likes you back. If you want help reaching out to him, whoever he is, I can help out-”

“No,” Bolg interjected. Another wave of gratefulness for Orcs’ inability to blush sparked through him. “It’s not a crush. It’s my...father.” Getting that last word out felt like trying to push Mount Gundabad over a few inches.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Bolg turned his attention to a tiny moth fluttering by Faramir’s lamp. “He’s the new math teacher.”

“Azog? Oh, I have him.”

“I mean, he’s energetic and strong and cares a lot about education, but he’s a bit bizarre in terms of Orkish culture. He wants to explore the world and meet new people and...he has a kid.”

“Is having a kid a bad thing? Sorry, I don’t know much about Orkish culture.” Faramir gazed at the floor.

“Orcs don’t really have families. We’re kind of born the size of adults and just integrated into our communes immediately. I mean, we still mature over time like other species do, but we don’t have parents. The fact my dad decided to raise me on his own is strange and we keep it a secret in our commune to avoid being shamed by other Orcs.”

“Born the size of adults,” Faramir murmured.

“Don’t think about it too much.” Bolg rubbed his head. “Sorry to bother you with this. I should have kept it to myself.”

The Human glanced up at Bolg. “No, no. It’s alright. How can I support you?”

Bolg blinked at Faramir. “Do you think I should tell my friends?”

Faramir sighed. “It’s up to you to do what you think is best, but if they’re good friends, then I’m sure they’ll support you.”

~~~

Bolg prayed Faramir was right as he sat down at the dining table the next morning. He had arrived at the cafeteria on the earlier side, hoping that the quieter atmosphere would calm his nerves before he spoke to his friends.

“Bolg, you’re early!” A voice cried out behind him in heavily accented Orkish.

Bolg twisted around to see Gothmog striding toward him. They rarely spoke Orkish to one another since the Gundabad and Mordorian dialects were, for the most, mutually unintelligible.

“Yeah,” Bolg replied in Common Speech. He fiddled with the fork he was using to eat his breakfast patties.

Gothmog took a seat beside him. “The cooks are trying out this new soup. Apparently they got the recipe from the new math teacher. He even donated his ingredients to them. It’s a Winter soup, but technically can be made year-round.”

Sure enough, the distinct aroma of his father’s signature dish swarmed Bolg’s senses.

“Is that a tear? Orcs don’t cry, silly.”

Bolg turned away from his friend. More tears wracked though his body and hiccups escaped through his mouth. His stomach burned inside of him and he craved to crawl into a nice, dark hole.

Gothmog began slapping his back. “Uh, Bolg? You okay? Are you allergic to the soup? Do you want to wrestle?”

A chorus of footsteps sounded behind Bolg.  “What’s going on?” Came Bofur’s excited voice. Even more tears gushed from Bolg’s eyelids.

“Dunno,” He heard Yaznag say.

“I’ve never seen an Orc act like that,” blurted Shagrat. “Maybe he needs a good chokehold.”

“I don’t think that will help him,” Aragorn muttered.

Bolg shoved his platter of food away and pushed his face against the table's hard surface. Gothmog continued to clobber his back.

“Hey, Bolg, what’s going on? Are you alright?” Rosie’s breath tickled his arm. He hadn’t even heard her step by.

“Should we get a teacher?” Bumbur asked.

“Mister Azog, over here!” Bofur shouted. Bolg could hear what was most likely Bifur, Bofur’s mute cousin, jumping up and down to wave over the educator.

Heavy footsteps clomped in Bolg’s direction. “Hey, son, what’s going on?” Azog asked in Orkish.

“Wait, Mister Azog is your father?” Yazneg asked in Common Speech.

“Orcs don’t have fathers, silly,” Gothmog said in between wacks.

Strength surged through Bolg’s body and he sat up. Taking a deep breath, he wiped away his tears. With a single hand, he knocked Gothmog over onto the ground. Rosie, Bofur, and Bumbur all gasped. “It’s true,” Bolg said. He peered at his father who stood by the other side of the table. “The new math teacher is my father.”

[grifalinas]

It is baked into the nature of all teenagers to assume three things:

That they are right about everything, or at least more right than their adults,

That adults just don’t understand them or their struggles, and that

They have it all figured out, and it is only a matter of time before they can really show the world what they alone have realized.*

((*Coincidentally, twenty-somethings have a stage baked into them where they look back on their notions as teenagers and think, “Oof, yikes 😬”)

Sadie Thorn was seventeen.

While it is generally agreed that transferring a teenager away from their friends and classmates just before their senior year can be damaging, Sadie wasn’t particularly bothered by this. She didn’t have much in the way of friends- certainly not close friends that she would ache to be near- and her classmates and teachers were always on her case about one thing or another. And, ever since puberty had hit, she hadn’t really been getting along with her mom properly.

Going to live with her dad and stepdad and stepsister and transferring to a new school seemed like a good idea. Maybe the fresh start would be good for her. Maybe she would actually make some friends. Maybe she would find that something she was looking for to fill up that space in her that felt so empty!

(Spoilers, she will. But hoooo boy she’s in for it before she gets there.)

The whole family was waiting for her the day her mother drove her to her dad’s house, all of her books and clothes and stuffed animals crammed in an array of containers in the bed of the old pick-up, and for just a moment as she watched them come out to meet her she felt a sense of trepidation. She got along with her stepdad and stepsister, of course, but that was when she only saw them sometimes and talked to them on the phone. What if they didn’t like her when they were around her always all the time?

And what about her dad? She had chosen to live with her mom over him after the divorce, and only really spent time with him on holidays and the occasional weekend visit, what would he think? Would he still like her? Would he hold her original choice against her?

“Hi, Pumpkin,” he said, scooping her up into a hug and spinning her around as soon as she had poured herself out of the truck. He squeezed her tight, then held her at arms’ length and looked over her with a fond sort of mistyness in his eyes. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

...okay, so maybe she didn’t have anything to worry about.

“Derek-“

“Yeah, I’m coming.” He grinned at Sadie once more, and said with a wink, “Gotta go talk to the whipcracker.”

She giggled. “Be nice.”

“I’m always nice.” He ruffled her hair, and sauntered around the truck to talk to Mom in relative privacy, while Sadie gave her attention to her stepdad and stepsister.

She’d spent time with them, of course. Nicholas had been adamant that marriage to a parent was marriage to both parent and child, and insisted on having a relationship with her as soon as it was clear they were actually serious. And that had come alongside a relationship with Skye, for similar reasons.

But there was so much different in having a relationship with someone in another city, and with living with them.

Sadie gave them a wobbly smile. “I’m sorry if I’m causing a fuss.”

“Oh- no, honey, never.” Nicholas came over and scooped her into a hug as well. She melted a little. “Derek’s been so excited you were coming that he hasn’t been able to sit still.”

“He was practically vibrating at breakfast,” Skye added. Sadie pulled away from Nicholas and gave Skye a teensy little smile. She was never quite sure what to make of Skye, who was pretty and polite and kind of stuffy and a little aloof in a way that Sadie could never be sure was a Skye issue or a her issue.

A weak laugh did bubble out of her, though, and she remembered that Skye didn’t like to touch people so she didn’t try to hug her like she kind of wanted to. Hugs had broken her tension with the other two.

“-no worries, Sybil, we’ll take good care of her,” Derek was saying as he and Mama rejoined the group. He tossed an arm around her shoulder. “I mean, look at Skye. We haven’t fucked her up too bad, how much worse could we do with Sadie?”

“Language, Derek,” Mama said automatically.

“She’s seventeen, Syb, I pinky promise she’s heard the fuck word before.”

“That’s not the point.”

“I think seventeen is plenty old enough to understand why some words are only appropriate in certain contexts.”

“You’re supposed to be setting a good example. Let her learn through watching.”

“Ah, criminy.” Dad rolled his eyes and turned to the truck, grabbing the first plastic tub his hands landed on and hoisting it over the side, effectively shutting down his conversation with his ex-wife in favor of carrying Sadie’s things into the house.

Sadie sighed and scrambled up into the truck to get a container as well. She wasn’t the sort of kid who went around wanting her divorced parents to get back together, but it would be nice if they could be around each other for a little while without sniping and bickering.

-/-

Since their house was only a two-bedroom and Nicholas worked from home, he had converted the attic into a large room for Skye when they’d moved in, and now a partition had been put up across the middle on one end, separating Skye’s bed from a new one set up opposite it. Skye had also moved her things from half the room, clearing space for Sadie.

“There’s curtains here, too,” Skye said, showing her the curtains that could be pulled across the two partioned off spaces, creating a bit more privacy. “Sorry you have to share, we don’t have an extra bedroom.”

Sadie shrugged. “Sorry you have to give up half your room.”

“It’s fine. There’s enough space for two up here. There’s no closets up here, so my father put a wardrobe in here for you. There’s a dresser too. I hope it’s big enough.”

They were not big enough. Sadie had a lot of clothes. On the other hand-

“I’ve been thinking of getting rid of some of my clothes anyway,” she said. “Mama won’t let me buy stuff I like, and now I’m not living with her I can get rid of some of it.”

“I’m sure Father and Daddy will be happy to take you shopping for things you prefer,” Skye said.

Sadie frowned. It was weird hearing someone else call her daddy such. It sort of made her feel how much she was missing in his life.

“We gotta put an escalator up here,” Dad puffed as he came in with another container. “Can’t keep tramping up and down these stairs like this.”

“I think the escalator would be more trouble than when we just only occasionally have to bring things up,” Nicholas said, coming up behind him with the biggest container. “This is the last one. We’re going out for dinner tonight to celebrate, so I’d like you both to be ready to go by six.”

“Yes, Father,” Skye said.

“Sure, no problem,” Sadie added.

And then they were alone again. Sadie sat on the end of the bed and stared down at her feet. After a moment, the mattress dipped as Skye sat beside her, about six inches between them. She scooched over to give her stepsister more space.

“May I ask you something?”

Sadie shrugged. “Ask away.”

“Why did you decide to come here? I overheard our fathers discussing the matter and they implied it was not simply a desire to be with us.”

“Oh. You know.” She shrugged again. Hunched a little. “I got expelled from my other school. It was either this or homeschool, and Mama couldn’t really homeschool me. Not really.”

“I see. So had you not been expelled, you would have stayed with your mother?”

Sadie eyed her in her periphery, looking for whether this was disappointment or pleasure or simply observation, and met with nothing. She sighed, and flopped back.

“I guess.”

-/-

The girls spent the better part of the afternoon unpacking Sadie’s things- her clothes came last, since she wanted to go through them as she unpacked them- and around five it was time to get ready to go out.

“So what’s the dress code here?” Sadie asked, uncapping the container holding all of her underthings. “Casual or dressy?”

Skye was already in the process of setting aside a nice blouse and skirt. She paused.

“I don’t know. They didn’t say. We’ll probably go to Ovens In the Deep, as that is our go-to going-out place.”

“That’s that pizza place, right? The one where they got engaged?”

“And where they met. Daddy was working there at the time.”

“Right, right.” Sadie turned her attention to her clothes. A second later, a black corset landed on her bed, followed by a matching tank, and then sheer black stockings. Skye watched her curiously, while she uncapped the tub that held her dresses and took out a black sundress with enormous blue flowers on it.

“You wear a corset?” Skye asked. “Why?”

“Well- you know.” She shrugged, glancing down, and said a bit sheepishly, “I have a- you know, a lot.” Another glanced downward, hoping Skye got the point. “Regular bras hurt my back. So.”

Her gaze flickered over- Skye was broad across the back and shoulder, but her curves were not particularly pronounced. This was probably not a problem she could relate to.

“Anyway.” She shrugged again, and scurried over to pull the curtain, granting her some privacy, both to change clothes and to be alone with her thoughts, inasmuch as would be possible in a shared attic bedroom.

“Sorry,” she heard Skye say quietly, and then the pulling of the other curtain.

-/-

It being a Saturday night, and Ovens In the Deep being a popular place for the local youths to congregate, it was crowded when they got there. They joined the other groups waiting for a seat in the dining room, and no sooner had they taken seats on the benches than Skye beckoned her close and whispered to her, “Do you see that boy bussing that table over there?”

She nodded subtly toward the boy in question, and Sadie looked openly up at him. He was long and lanky, with clouds of freckles across his face and hair dyed a washed out grey-blue. He looked familiar.

“Yeah? What about him?”

“His name’s Malachite von Steele. He’s kind of a dickhead.”

There was something intriguing in her tone. She didn’t seem to be saying ‘dickhead’ with as much judgment as one would expect from the term. Sadie found herself very interested.

“I think I’d be a dickhead too, if I got saddled with a name like Malachite von Steele,” she said. “Oh, he’s coming over.”

He was indeed. “Thorn-Summers, party of four?” He said, and then on seeing Sadie, grinned. “Well well well, if it ain’t Shady Sadie.”

Sadie bristled immediately. “Listen buddy, nobody calls me Shady Sadie but-“ She broke off. “-wait, nobody’s called me Shady Sadie since I was like eight.” She squinted at him. “Do I know you?”

“You don’t remember me?” He cackled and led the family to a booth, bowing them into it with unnecessary formality. “We used to be inseparable, too. I’m hurt.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, and squinted again, trying to figure out who he could mean. It wasn’t as if she had a plethora of friends from her childhood, at least not ones that she could be said to be ‘inseparable’ with. In fact, the only friend she’d had had been-

Oh. Oops.

“I do remember you!” She said. “You weren’t going by Malachite at the time, though. And your hair was longer, and black.”

“Yeah, well, ten years is a long time. So what are you doing here, then?”

“I’m living with my daddy now! And my stepdad,” she added, gesturing the couple, who had been politely perusing their menus to give her a modicum of privacy. On being referred to, Dad set his menu down.

“You know this kid, Sadie?”

“Yeah! You remember! He’s- oh. He?” She raised an eyebrow to Malachite, who nodded. “-he’s my friend from before me and mom moved away!”

“It’s okay, sir,” Malachite said, a nasty sort of smile setting in. “You don’t have to remember me. It’s been ten years, and I don’t look the same, and you weren’t really around that much to get me locked in anyway.”

Dad looked unimpressed. “Actually, think I do remember you. You might’ve changed in a lot of ways, but you’re still a cocky little smart-mouth.”

“I do my best. You guys ready to order, or shall I take off for a bit to give you time?”

“We’d like some time, thank you,” Nicholas said.

“Sure.” He took their drink orders, and once he’d written them down, shoved his hands into his pockets and slouched off with a parting shot of, “See you in a few minutes, Shady.”

“He’s the cutest boy in our school,” Skye said once he was gone. Sadie gave her a pleased look.

“He is pretty cute, isn’t he?”

“Still a mouthy little so-and-so if you ask me,” Dad said, clearly less impressed with him than Skye was. His annoyance stilled at a touch of Nicholas’ hand, though.

“Speaking of cute boys-“ Sadie said, eyes widening as a group of approximately fifty-seven of them went by. (Well, four, in a party with several girls, adults, and younger kids as well.)

One boy in particular stood out; even under a dress shirt and sweater-vest she could make out the bunch and shift of back muscles. Oh… she was weak for back muscles…

“That’s Tarquin Camden,” Skye said. “And the whole Camden family, as well. They live up on Camden Hill.”

“I think I remember something about the Camdens,” Sadie said, racking her brain to recall, but all that came up was that she’d heard her mother on the phone once, talking about ‘those damned Camdens again-‘ before she’d remembered Sadie was there and changed the subject.

“They say odd things go on at Camden Hill,” Skye filled in for her. “Raucous noises, odd visitors, and more dogs than anyone can actually count.”

“They’re a big family who mostly stay close to home,” Nicholas said, with a slight tone of- correction? Admonishment?- under his words. “With that many young people, noise and visitors are only to be expected, it creates a hub for extended family returning to the nest, and people who breed dogs can only be expected to have a constant fluctuation of the dogs they have. There’s nothing about them that can’t be explained by rationality and reason, if you aren’t giving legs to the monster of rumor and gossip.”

“Kooky weird stuff sure sounds more interesting, though,” Sadie said, resting her head on one fist and watching the large party of Camdens gathered around their table, slowly coordinating to take their seats in an orderly way. Her eyes were glued to Tarquin…’s back muscles.

“I think I dated one of those guys,” Dad said, following Sadie’s gaze. “Right after the divorce, trying to get my gay-feet wet.”

“Was there ‘kooky weird stuff’ going on on the Hill?” Skye asked, Sadie’s suddenly delighted expression begging the same question.

“Dunno. Never got invited to the house.”

“Isn’t that weird?”

“Not for the kinda dating we were doing.”

This statement was met with identical looks of horror from the girls; he cackled.

“Everyone dates a Camden at some point if they live in Sleeping Bear while single,” Nicholas said, peering over at the now-seated family. “I’ve dated at least three.”

“Yeah, but you got a lot more exes than the average bear.”

“I have a perfectly ordinary amount of exes, thank you.”

“Yeah, that’s why everyone I meet says I’m the guy that finally got you to settle down. Face it, big man. You got a slutty history.”

“We are sitting right here,” Sadie said, horrified. Beside her, Skye sighed.

“They’re always like this. You get used to it.”

“Hey, I gotta watch my babies get all gooey over cute boys, y’all can stand your old man flirting a bit,” Dad said, jabbing a finger at them. Sadie giggled.

“We’re teenagers, Dad. We’re supposed to be gooey.”

“Yeah, well, I’m a happily married man. Gooeyness comes with the territory.”

This got more laughter, and the family settled down to the Herculean task of getting four people to agree on their pizza toppings. While they bickered back and forth about the merits of pineapple, shrimp, and goat cheese versus teriyaki chicken and spinach, Sadie’s thoughts drifted to watching the Camden party. They were suprisingly well ordered for a large family with a lot of kids.

Malachite came back while she was watching, and followed her gaze to Tarquin and his back muscles. He scoffed.

“Wanna watch it with that one, Shady. He’s the biggest ass this side of the Sticks.”

A blush crawled across Sadie’s cheeks. “W’s jus’ lookin’,” she mumbled.

“Don’t think you got a lotta room to talk about someone being an ass, kid,” Derek said, bristling on Sadie’s behalf. “If this is the quality of service we can expect, Manu’s really let his standards drop since I was here.”

“Oh, excuse me, sir, I’m so sorry to have disappointed you. Here, let me make it up to you. Would you like to speak with my manager? I’m sure he’ll fire me, will that make you feel better?”

“Maybe we should just ask for a different waiter,” Sadie said. “Can we do that without getting you into trouble?”

“Nah, you’re stuck with me. But I’ll be on my best behavior if you ask me to, Shady. I don’t wanna ruin your night :)”

He looked expectantly at her. She gave him a weak smile.

“Please be nice? It’s my first night in town. I want everything to be perfect.”

“For you? Anything at all.” He adopted a customer service smile, and said to them, “So, what can I get you guys this evening? We’re having a special on twelve inch deep dishes right now, you can buy one and get the second half off.”

He didn’t drop the service smile the whole time they were ordering, which was unnerving on a lot of levels, but the main one was that despite being a close-lipped smile, it had given the distinct impression of teeth.

“God, I wish our economic system wasn’t shit bricks so I could tip that kid poorly in good conscience,” Dad said once he was gone.

“Well our system is shit bricks, so he’s getting a full tip. But I didn’t like his behavior either,” Nicholas added, soothing his husband’s feathers as soon as they ruffled. “That wasn’t very professional of him.”

“I wonder what made his mood take a dive?” Sadie wondered. “He wasn’t so sour when he first got here, just kind of bitchy, but in a friendly kind of way.”

“He hates Tarquin Camden,” Skye said. “They’ve been suspended for fighting on multiple occasions. I imagine seeing him in his workplace can’t be fun. Besides, you scolded him when he was just being friendly with Sadie.”

“Still unprofessional,” Dad groused, but his feathers had been suitably smoothed, so when Malachite eventually returned with their pizzas- one of each topping choice- he was much more polite to the boy, though Malachite was locked into service mode for the rest of the night, so there was no more friendly back and forth.

While they waited at the counter for Nicholas to finish settling their bill, he passed by with the plates from their table and cracked a grin at the girls.

“So I’ll see you at school Monday?”

“Yes! Maybe we’ll have some classes together :3!”

“Tch, maybe. Hey, tell your old man thanks for the tip.” He smirked and headed on back, leaving them both watching. Once he was gone, Sadie looked back over to the Camdens.

“Why does Malachite hate Tarquin?” Sadie asked.

“Not sure. But if they talk to each other long enough, Malachite starts swinging.”

-/-

Sadie’s first day in her new school was Monday. She and Skye had spent the weekend going through her clothes, and Nicholas had said he’d take her shopping for new clothes that weekend, so for now she was stuck with the things her mom had picked out for her that she could tolerate.

“What classes do you have?” She asked Skye on the way to the office that morning.

“I’m in History first period,” Skye said, and to the secretary said, “This is Sadie Thorn. It’s her first day. She needs her schedule.”

While the secretary got the schedule for her, she took a seat and rested her chin in her hands, staring at a spot on the carpet while her nerves piled up inside her throat.

“Is this a very nice school?”

“For the most part. I’ve never had any trouble here.”

“Well yeah but…” Sadie trailed off. She very much doubted Skye had ever been thrown out of school, so what sort of frame of reference could she have for whether the school was nice? Skye was probably the teachers’ favorite darling. She probably had loads of friends. She probably was popular with all sorts of boys.

While Sadie tried to find a way to articulate that Skye was probably not the metric to determine her school’s niceness, the office door opened and Malachite came in, a bloody wad of paper towels pressed to his nose. The secretary looked at him and rolled their eyes.

“Were you and Camden fighting again?”

“Not my fault the guy’s a prick. Hey, Shady~” He winked. “What’s your first class?”

“Oh, um-“ She took her schedule from the secretary, who was already fetching a wet towel for Malachite. “I’ve got Biology first thing.”

“Boo, no fun, I’m in History. Let’s see-“ He peeked over her shoulder. “Well, we’re in English Lit together, that’s fun, and then we share a lunch period- oh, lucky, you’ve got Harrow for Biology, he’s way better than Holliday-“

The secretary had returned with a wet towel. They handed it to Malachite.

“Where’s Camden?”

“Nurse’s office. For some reason Doc Holliday felt we shouldn’t be sent to the office together. Something about me trying to get through him to mess the prick up more. Can’t imagine what he was implying.”

He gave them a pointy smile, made more leery by the blood beginning to dry on his chin. The secretary just rolled their eyes, and handed him the towel.

“Go on then, get to class. Miss Summers, you have History this period as well, correct? Would you mind making sure he gets there?”

“As you like.” She gave Malachite a shy smile and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. He cracked a cocky smirk at her and mock-bowed.

“After you.”

After they left- with a parting shot of ‘see you in Lit, Shady’ from Malachite- Sadie turned her full attention to the secretary. “Um, where’s the Biology room?”

“All the way to the end of the hall, hang a left, and then a left, out the doors, and all the way to the end of the breezeway, last door on your left.”

“Okay…” Sadie thanked them in a meek little voice and hurried out, squinting at the room numbers on her schedule and trying to remember the directions the secretary had given her-

-she’d made it about halfway down the hall when she ran into a solid, blistering hot mass. She hit the floor with an ‘oof’ and looked up to see what she’d hit.

She’d faceplanted a wall of back muscles, which on impact had felt a lot more like an actual wall. The wall turned, revealing the owner to be a tall boy with a mop of sandy hair and the prettiest blue eyes she’d ever seen.

“Sorry,” she squeaked out. “I wasn’t looking…”

“It’s okay.” The boy knelt and picked up her schedule, offering a gallant hand to help her to her felt. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

“Just my pride,” she admitted.

He nodded, and glanced at the schedule in her hand. “First day? What class are you headed to?”

“Um. Biology. With Harrow.”

“What luck, I’m on my way there too.” He brandished a paper of his own; Sadie vaguely recognized it as an excuse from the nurse’s office. “You can distract Harrow from how late I am. I’m Tarquin, by the way.”

“Sadie.” She hugged her bookbag straps a little close. “Sadie Thorn. You were fighting with Malachite, right? He came into the office while I was getting my schedule.”

He huffed. “Know Mal, do you?”

“We were friends when we were little kids. Before me and my mama moved away.”

“Yeah? Well just to set the record straight, anything he tells you about me is a lie. Okay?”

“He said you’re a prick.”

“If I’m a prick, he’s a kettle. But I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions.” He offered his arm. “Let’s head to class before Old Man Harrow has a conniption.”

A flush spread up Sadie’s neck at that, and down into her shirt; with a mumble that even she couldn’t interpret, she took the proferred arm and let him show her the way to Biology.

-/-

Malachite was quiet for most of the walk to History, but as they approached the classroom, he said, “Hey, listen. It’s Skye, right?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, Skye. Look, I’m sorry about being such a bitch to you guys last night, yeah? I just remember what Shady’s old man was like back when we were kids and I guess I just couldn’t bring myself to be nice.”

“Understandable, I suppose.” Skye stopped outside the door and looked to him. “I am aware of the sort of man my stepfather was when he divorced his first wife. He has been honest with us on that front. However, I am also aware that he has worked hard to unlearn his harmful habits. To hold his past against him when he has become an entirely different person now would be unfair.”

“Yeah, well.” He shrugged one shoulder, a little uncomfortable now. “I guess you’d know better than me. He good to you and Shady?”

“Very good. He’s very excited to have Sadie here, so they can have a real relationship.”

“Good. Maybe I’ll think about giving him a chance, then.” He gave her another smile, a little less cocky and a little more genuine this time, and opened the door to their classroom, gesturing for her to go on in ahead of him. “For Shady, at least. Don’t wanna upset her.”

-/-

[divinion1990]

Family Law

Summary: Fourteen years ago, Sherry Blendy and Lyon Vastia shared one fateful night together. Now, the conflicted fourteen-year-old Chelia discovers that her father is not the man that she believed all these years. Their journeys are destined to intertwine, but will the truth destroy their family bonds, or pave a strong future together? Collection: Fairy Tail Dad’s AU Main Characters: Chelia Blendy, Lyon Vastia, Sherry Blendy, Gray Fullbuster

----

May 12, 2020

The sounds of singing and pop music played by an overworked speaker resonated throughout the community centre. To some it was sweet, to others it was a nail through the forehead. Bouncing around the wooden floorboards and the pale teal walls, escaping through to the small reception room at the front.

“I’m sorry, the halls have ended up double booked due to the holidays,” the receptionist apologised to the two men. “The girls will be finished up in the next five minutes or so, I promise. Then the day-care centre will be free again!”

Lyon nodded, a polite smile written across his face. “That’s quite alright. We can wait.”

“Or we could not,” Gray rolled his eyes.

The older male scoffed. “Nonsense! This meeting is the best thing for you. See, they’re stopping already!” Lyon told him.

It was true. The sounds of the singing were replaced quickly with childish giggling and running around the room. Bags, coats and all other belongings were quickly gathered by the gossiping teenagers, little care for what was around them as they discussed their latest rehearsal successes.

“Did you hear that high note? And the dance routine… That last step was so hard!”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it!”

“I’m sure we’ll do much better next time.”

“We’re already getting much better!”

Gray tucked himself into the corner of the room as the small collection of young women raced out in front of him. They bounced around with an excited air, chattering and wishing each other the best of luck. It only gave Gray reason to give Lyon a long, flat stare.

“I promise you; it’ll be worth it,” Lyon reassured him, folding his arms over his chest. “I’ve recommended similar groups to many, many others in your exact position. They’re a great way to assist you in getting over your issues.”

Gray’s frown turned into a glare. “Issues?”

“See, Aki agrees with me,” Lyon offered, leaning down to the child by Gray’s side. He in no way seemed to be in an agreeing mood, too busy staring at the small crowd from behind Gray’s legs and holding onto his father’s hand tightly. Lyon didn’t seem to notice this. “We’re going to help daddy get over his issues. Aren’t we Aki?”

“Please don’t talk to my son about issues…” Gray hissed at him, grabbing onto Aki’s hand even tighter.

“The room should be free now,” the woman behind the desk called out to them both. “Second door on the right.”

“Thanks,” Gray huffed, quickly moving away and towards the door.

Lyon grinned proudly, watching his friend disappear with his son. Without a shadow of doubt, he knew that Gray would take great things from this experience. It had been an excellent idea - after all, Lyon had tried and tested this many times with other clients.

“Mom! We got through the second verse!”

“Excellent work, both of you! Oh Wendy, I love what you’ve done with your hair!”

“Th-thank you, Mrs Blendy…”

“Oh Wendy, how many times? You can call me-“

“Lyon!”

Lyon blinked suddenly, looking back to the man calling his name. “S-Sorry?”

Gray frowned back at him. “Are you coming or what?” he asked him impatiently. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just… thought I recognised someone,” Lyon explained, quickly ignoring his instincts and following Gray into the room.

 -----

 “I saw him today.”

Ren turned to his wife, pausing. It wasn’t her words that made him concerned, but the way that she held her arms over her body, the awkward glance away, the pauses between each breath. It was all enough to make him stop and listen.

“Oh?”

She hesitated. The words caught on her tongue. It held an almost ominous presence in the build up to her admission. “Her father.”

He paused again. He turned away, putting another item back into the cupboard. “I see,” he said simply.

She bit her lip. Squeezed her arms tight. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him around. I’d assumed he’d moved away again. But he was at the community centre at the same time as Chelia. If I’d been a few minutes late…” she gave a heavy, defeated sigh. “Not that I suppose that would be a bad thing…”

Ren just listened, continuing to put away the groceries in a solemn silence. Hearing that his silence was being returned, his hand stilled. “I don’t think this is my problem…” he said slowly.

She sighed again, this time more dramatically. No matter how sharp and uncaring that might have sounded to the untrained ear, Chelia understood. “No, you’re right. I need to decide what to do with this. We’ll stay a family no matter what happens. She isn’t going to stop loving you, you know,” she told him with a twinkle in her eye.

He turned away, taking an excruciatingly long time to put away just one can of peas.

She giggled. Ren was being as proud as always, but she could always see the love there, even when he didn’t like to admit it. “Thank you,” she told him, walking back to his side and placing a kiss on his cheek. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

——

“And then she started going on about love and how we are all still a family,” Chelia finished explaining before ducking her head into yet another dusty box.

“I see…” Wendy told her softly, brushing the dust from another label. ‘Chelia’s Toys, 2006’. She pushed the box aside. “I can’t imagine what it must feel like finding out your father isn’t-I mean, he is-but-“

“It wasn’t exactly a well-kept secret,” Chelia admitted, pulling out random items and inspecting them. “I always suspected. I don’t look anything like him.”

“That’s true… but even so…” Wendy whispered quietly.

“Nothing’s changed,” Chelia told her seriously. “Even though he isn’t related to me by blood, he’s still my dad. All I’m looking for now is my father.”

Wendy nodded. It really was admirable watching the way that Chelia had dealt with the news that would have shattered her own world. To the point where she was concerned that denial was burning strong inside her, no matter how well she seemed to have rationalised the information. The only thing left for Wendy now was to be a support, a close friend, and a sister to prove not all family relied on blood.

“Um… Chelia…” Wendy paused, trying to get the words right that she’d already thought through a hundred times. “If your mother had this conversation with you… why didn’t she tell you who your father was? Why are we having to look in boxes?”

Chelia paused. It was a question she’d both expected and still struggled to find an answer for. “I didn’t want to ask her...” she admitted, looking down. “I didn’t want her to feel like I was-like I was turning my back on Dad,” she said.

Wendy nodded slowly. There seemed to be a lot more emotions going on there than what Chelia was willing to say, but that at least seemed healthy. She reached over and put a hand over her friend’s.

“We’ll find him together,” she promised her.

Chelia’s smile lit up. She jumped on Wendy, grabbing her into a tight, tight hug. “Thank you, Wendy.”

Wendy gasped at the sudden affection but smiled back warmly. She held on tight, knowing that it wasn’t for her own sake that they’d share this moment. “Any time,” she promised, giving another squeeze before letting go. As she did, her eyes drifted to another box in the far corner, and a name that filled with promise. “Look,” she gestured.

It was everything Chelia had both anticipated and feared. The cardboard box with the words scribbled along the side; ‘Sherry High School/College’. She slid across the floor to the box, pushing away the thick coatings of dust. A line of Sellotape that had long since lost all adhesive properties came away easily in her hands, as she opened the flaps. Everything seemed painfully slow to reveal. An oversized school sweatshirt, with gold embroidery of a snaked creature emblem. Old schoolbooks that were filled with notes, love-hearts and scribbles that could have one day been considered ‘important’. Dusty shot glasses that had been packed and forgotten about, tainted with memories of exciting nights.

Usually, Chelia would have found it all fascinating. A different side to the loving mother she had always known, one that had her whole life ahead of her and – from the contents of this box – seemed content to spent it chasing dreams, scribbling love-hearts and enjoying life. She began to pull out pictures, so many frozen images of long nights ago. She had been a popular woman, wearing a wide smile and more often than not with her hands cupped into a heart shape.

“Your mother was beautiful,” Wendy commented, glancing at the pictures that Chelia was putting onto the ground. “She-she still is beautiful! She was very beautiful in these pictures, though…”

Chelia nodded. “She was,” she agreed, starting to see the patterns. Though it often seemed she would be with a different person every night, she finally saw the friendship groups emerging, until she confidently could pick out a picture with four young people. “I think… I think this is it…”

Wendy glanced over, a serious look on her face. “… You’re sure?”

A small pause from the young woman before another nod. “The way that mother talked about him… I’ve only heard her talk that way about me and my father. It was someone that meant a lot to her. One of her closest friends. It has to be someone from these pictures, one of these… one of these men is my real father.”

----

Sometimes it felt like Lyon was a dark mark upon the world of children.

He was the monster that forced parents to fight and separate. He was the demon that turned lives upside down. He was the villain who asked the painful questions: Who do you want to live with? Did they hurt you? Who do you feel safe with? How often would you like to spend time with these people? They were no questions that any child should have had to answer, and it was not an easy question to ask. Sometimes Lyon had to play the bad guy, for the most important reasons.

There was always a secret sense of dread when he saw a child in distress. There were the background thoughts running through his head, the guilt of separating a child from comfort, the terror that if he made one wrong step someone could get seriously hurt, and then there was that look. The one that cut him right to his core. Even if he forced himself into that polite smile, tried to offer a peace offering of candy, and pray the child was not traumatised for life.

Lyon’s eyes stayed pinned to the small child, watching him even as he took continual sips from his coffee mug. Waiting for him to make a sign, some kind of indication of the trauma he’d caused. Or perhaps the salvation he’d brought.

Instead, Aki just brought him a small block. Lyon looked at him quizzically… and turned back to Gray.

Gray nodded with a small smile. “He’s giving it to you,” he said with a small smirk, relishing perhaps a little too much in how uncomfortable Lyon looked.

Lyon looked back at the ‘gift’, reaching over and taking it. “Oh… thank you very much.”

The child beamed and walked off again to search for more toys.

“For someone who works with kids all day, you sure are awkward around them,” Gray commented.

It was hard for Lyon to understand what Gray’s tone meant, even after all his years of training in other’s true motives. “I usually don’t talk to children as young as Aki…” he admitted, looking even more surprised as another wooden block was passed to him by a very proud looking Aki. “And when I do, they’re usually not social visits… Does that bother you?” he asked.

Gray paused for a few seconds, before shaking his head. “You’re a natural,” he said.

Lyon didn’t feel like a natural. He put down his mug to take yet another block, as Aki disappeared into his toybox and produced five more. He giggled as he was racing back and forth across the room now, trying to drop them into his father’s friend’s lap, a fun new game to explore.

“If you say so…” Lyon said, muttering yet another ‘thank you’ and looking more perplexed by the second. “Is he usually so, uh, generous?”

“No,” Gray smiled faintly. “It means he likes you. And trusts you.”

Lyon swallowed hard. That innocence. He was clearly far too young to understand. Either that, or he had been through too much and resorted to taking kindness in the most unlikely ways. “Well… I like him too,” he admitted, smiling back.

When Aki came running back over, instead Lyon held out one of the building blocks back in his direction. The child’s eyes widened, taking it in his hands and inspecting it intently. He smiled and made a happy little sound, running off again to repeat the game again.

“I’m surprised you don’t have a kid yourself…”

Lyon paused. There it was again, an edge of sadness he’d been expecting whenever around children. No matter how much joy or love it filled him with. “I… got distracted,” he excused himself, looking away. He didn’t want to talk about the years he’d wasted. On work, on some girl, on paths taken that left him much older and much less wise than he’d hoped to be by now. It wasn’t a choice he’d made, but many smaller choices which had left him alone.

It became clear he wasn’t going to say any more. In the spirit of distraction, Lyon quickly became caught into the new games with Aki. He poured the blocks onto the coffee table and within a few seconds had been showing the young boy how to rearrange them. Or Aki had been showing Lyon. It was hard to tell, Gray noticed, finding a very small hint of a smile on his face as he watched them both.

At least this, this small protected bubble, felt safe.

[wezbyathread]

I am Confusion

There are only two things that anyone really needs to know going into this. I'm white and I'm Christian. If we wanted to be specific, I'm exactly half Dutch, and the remaining stuff is a fun concoction of various other European countries, most of which is German. My father, apparently, didn't have it in him to continue the pure Dutch lineage (and neither did either of his brothers). In terms of my faith, I have been a devout Lutheran since I was a child. That is not to say that I haven't been exposed to different denominations. My parents divorced when I was young, which just about killed my Baby Boomer Grandparents. My dad was raised Baptist or Methodist, I can't quite remember, and after separating from my mother, gravitated towards a non-denominational setting. My mom, on the other hand, comes from a strong line of proud Lutherans.

When my parents were still together, we went to my grandmother's church. Zion was huge. Members numbered in the high thousands, the sanctuary had three isles, and they had four separate services throughout the weekend to accommodate everyone. When I was little, this did not bother me. My grandparents were highly respected, integral members, and, by extension, so was I. I was there every day of the week, if not for church on Sundays, then for kindergarten, or my sibling's basketball games, or my soccer games (with orange slices and everything), or I was visiting the graves of my older brother and my cousin, or it was summer and I was participating in the extravaganza that was VBS. All of this to say, church from the ages of 0 to 5 or 6, was quite literally my second home. That is until my parents divorced and it was forced to become my third.

From the ages of 5 to 10, I experienced some serious religious growing pains. Not only did I have to adjust to only seeing my dad on weekends, but now I had two different churches, with parents that took two different approaches to the faith. As I said above, my dad was only Lutheran for my mom's sake. He's not a particular dude, so this wasn't really a big deal for him. So when he married my step-mom, they found a church that better suited their combined beliefs. Well, okay, they searched for a church that better suited them. We cycled through a lot over the course of my childhood. Ultimately though, they settled for a non-denominational church that was drastically different from the hymnal/creed/sermon formula I was used to.

My mom, on the other hand, stayed true to Lutheranism. We moved to be closer to her job, which meant finding another church to call home. I grew up in St. Louis, which fortunately meant that I could throw a rock in any direction and it would probably hit some sort of Lutheran church. We settled at one for a number of years before we all collectively decided it was no longer the right fit for us. (I'll be honest, at 9 years old, I was partially motivated to "find a new church" by the fact that everything about it was boring. Leaving one could mean that I didn't have to go for a couple of weeks). Our decision to leave led us to Epiphany.

Epiphany, for lack of better phrasing, was a God-send for me. I was a shy kid, I am a shy person. I do not approach people of my own volition. But the kids at Epiphany did not have this issue. In the words of my younger brother, "they didn't act like they didn't know us." They immideatly welcomed us into their little group, and we quickly became the tightest knit circle of friends I've ever had. I was quickly enrolled in the three-year confirmation class held on Wednesday afternoons, and was effortlessly folded into the spirit of the community. I have never clicked anywhere as well as I did with the people of Epiphany, and I will forever be thankful to God for the family He gave me with them.

When I became part of that community, church became something more. I started listening to my Pastor's sermons because he wasn't some stranger, he was one of my best friend's dad. My input in bible studies became valuable, my opinion valued. I wanted learn and to understand.

Long story short, church has always been a huge part of my life, and it is the source of some of my greatest comforts in life as well as my biggest struggles.

Here's the thing, I also grew up in a single school district, one that was extremely liberal. So, in direct contrast too my religious background, at school I was taught to be an ally to the LGBTQ+ community, to stand against injustice, and fight for equality. To summarize my political views, let me just say that I have been heavily involved in musical theatre since 6th grade. And I'm on Tumblr.

I stand by these political beliefs and my religious ones. I'm a proud Democrat and a proud Lutheran (or as I like to call it Diet Catholic). But then I read the Bible, and I have no fucking clue how to make sense of anything.

What seems like common sense to me, is expressly forbidden. For so long, I told myself that it was not my place. I am unable to condem someone because I am a sinner myself. I am no better than any other person around me. I am not inherently righteous just because I happened to be raised in the faith. None of us are. A person's sin is between them and God, and an outside party (maybe with the exception of a Pastor) has no place to throw in their two cents. And this works great, until Jezebel has to swoop in at the last minute and has to fuck everything up with her sexual immorality. All of the sudden, I must repent for simply "tolorating" it.

Any discussion of homosexuality in a church setting makes me extremely uncomfortable because I am so afriad that I'm going to say something that has me thrown from the premiseses. Because God forbid I say that LGBTQ people are valid in the eyes of Jesus. I have also found that this is one thing I refuse to bend on. I know that, if it comes down to it, I will choose basic human decency over identifying as Christian.

I am not a confrontational person. I am not an activist, but every day I wish that I was. To quote John Mulaney, " I need everyone to like me so much." Which, unfortunately, means that I probably won't ever build the courage to actually say stuff that matters. It will always be one of my biggest regrets that I am not as outspoken as I should be.

Well this turned out to be much more of a rambling mess then I intended it to be, but I have an assignment to finish and I really don't feel like editing.

Thanks for sticking around,

Wez

[didanawisgi]

“Eugene Scalia, the eldest of the late Justice Antonin Scalia's nine children, believes that Washington could learn something from his father and Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's famous, decades-long friendship.

"Whenever you have two such important, accomplished people who have a rich friendship like that, there's something to be learned from it," Scalia told CNN's Poppy Harlow and Jeffrey Toobin in the fourth episode of CNN's

"Their ability to engage on ideas and yet respect one another's abilities and maintain a friendship is an instructive lesson," Scalia added. "And I think they would both heartily agree that we want to have people on two sides of an issue to explain what the right answer is."The younger Scalia, a prominent Washington lawyer who served in President George W. Bush's administration, noted that the Supreme Court is known for its collegiality, as compared to other branches of government where partisan bickering has become the standard.Content by RVshareConquer cabin fever safely with RVshare this summerFrom simple camping trips to coast-to-coast explorations, the rentable fleet of 100,000 RVs means you can have outdoor adventures without risking you and your loved ones’ health.

His father and Ginsburg first encountered one another in academic circles in the 1970s. By 1982, they were both serving on the DC Circuit of the United States Court of Appeals. By 1993, they were both sitting on the bench of the Supreme Court of the United States.While on the Supreme Court, the justices took turns delivering scathing dissents on one another's opinions -- but off the bench they shared a New Year's Eve dinner tradition, traveled internationally, and bonded over a mutual love of music, Scalia told Harlow and Toobin."It was heartening to me to see my father with a colleague he obviously had so much fun being around and speaking with," Scalia said.Scalia described, where Marty Ginsburg -- Justice Ginsburg's late husband, and a "wonderful cook" -- would prepare meat hunted by his late father. When Justice Scalia died in 2015, Ginsburg spoke at his funeral, calling the high court a "paler place" without him and emphasizing that he was skilled in the art of separating ideological disagreements from his interpersonal relationships. Scalia also said he believed his father sharpened his own ideas by listening to Ginsburg's approach on a number of issues.

"My father would seldom shy away from disagreeing, but nor would she," Scalia said. "If you couldn't give him a good argument, he might think less of you."Ginsburg and Scalia also shared an interest in the law and enjoyed discussing it, he said. They weren't friends despite their divergent interpretations of the Constitution, Scalia told Toobin and Harlow. "They were friends, in part, because of it," he said.”

[xanadontit]

Dear Care and Feeding,

I am hoping for advice about a tricky family situation. My husband comes from a very small family—his dad is an only child, and his mom just has one sister. He has two cousins (“David” and “Susan”) and an elderly grandmother. I have a difficult relationship with my in-laws, who are very judgmental and difficult to please and quick to anger. My husband is very close with his family and speaks with his parents at least three to four times weekly. They visit often, which is difficult for me.

Long story short: My husband and I did one of those cheek-swab DNA things for fun and found an unexpected person last year. Through some detective work, it has become incredibly clear that this is a firstborn child (“Alice”) of my husband’s widowed “Aunt Emily.” Emily, at the age of 21, moved to a different state for a year and had limited contact with her family. We have been able to piece together that she must have had an unexpected pregnancy and a closed adoption. Emily then went on to marry much later and had two children, my husband’s cousins. When we figured this out, I received an email through the genetic website from Alice with details about her adoption, but she clearly knows nothing about her birth family and I have data about this. She has not been pushy or annoying at all. But she did seem curious about her relationship to my husband.

I am struggling with what to do with this information. In conversations with my in-laws, they feel adamant that Aunt Emily intentionally kept this a secret and did not want the family to know, and they have no intention of ever asking her or bringing it up or contacting Alice (their niece). This falls into their strict column of things not to be discussed—like health issues, politics, or anything where their opinion may be contradicted. I am not super close with Aunt Emily and do not want to bring drama to the family. I am fairly close with my husband’s cousin Susan and feel she would probably be upset but want to know about her half-sister Alice. Part of me also feels Alice deserves the chance to know her mom and grandmother (although I realize I have no obligation to her).

I also get angry about it because my husband’s family insists on doing all sorts of things together and guilts us into taking extraordinary measures to get together more frequently than I would like “because our family is so small.” I have a lot of conflict with my husband about this. I know it’s a slightly separate issue, but for example, for the first five years of our relationship, we had to have Thanksgiving with my in-laws “because our family is so small”—as if my family is less important or doesn’t care just because I have lots of extended family and cousins.

Many people have advised me to just forget the whole thing. I could also send Alice a reply email giving her Aunt Emily’s email address so she could reach out if she wishes. But this has the potential to “explode” my extended family. I could be passive-aggressive and just mail some DNA kits to Susan and her family so they can figure out the connection themselves. I could contact Aunt Emily directly to confront her about it, but I am not super comfortable with that. Any advice?

—Impossible In-Laws

I am actually not into it, but WOW. Gotta hand it to OP: she’s been simmering with anger for years and found an exciting new way* to fuck with her in-laws. Innovator!

*Potentially complicated and fraught with emotional fallout for the only two parties who actually matter: Alice and Aunt Emily.

[my-healing-journey]

So. I have sole custody of our 2 kids, which means that I’m responsible for making all of the big decisions (medical, educational, religious, etc.) and I do not need to have Jake’s approval before making said decisions. Jake has visitation with our kids twice per month on weekends, plus spring break, half of winter break, and two consecutive weeks in the summer (twice over).

He had the kids for spring break. I needed a break from the kids - I wanted to get my house sparkling clean, declutter, reorganize, etc. - but I couldn’t stop feeling anxious. The kids didn’t want to see Jake. They begged and pleaded with me to not see their dad. They wanted to stay home with me. They were angry with me for taking them to see their dad.

Here’s the thing, though - if I don’t take them to see their dad, he can sue me in court and then the kids can possibly be taken away from me. I have to deliver them to him for short visits every so often, otherwise I risk having to deliver them into his hands permanently, and that eats me up inside. They’re children. They shouldn’t have to be delivered to him at all.

Spring break came and went. I was a workaholic all week. I missed my kids fiercely. Tried to clean the house, wasn’t successful, and wound up hiring someone to come in and do the bulk of it for me. I worked 13+ hour days, binged The Last Kids on Earth (since my kids like the show), cried a bit, continued to miss them, got a massage, and tried to make my executively dysfunctioning brain do things. I felt anxious all week. Jake only let the kids call me on Wednesday (yes it goes against the parenting plan for him to limit their communication with me, but still).

It was around 6pm or so when the kids called me that Wednesday. I was still in the office, trying to wrap up some paperwork. My oldest went off into some room of the apartment where his dad was not present, as is typical for him, and then told me that he was angry at me because Dad had promised to take them bowling, but now didn’t have the money to do so because he ran out since he has to pay me every month. My head spun. WTAF? Before I could think of what to say, my child then said something along the lines of, “Dad said that if you saved all of your money, you’d have $6,000 per month and $70,000 in a year, but he only gets $1,800 per month, and he pays you $600 of that.” I asked my child, “Do you know why Dad pays me?” Child said no. I replied with, “That’s how he helps take care of you and your brother. That’s what good dads should do, right? Help take care of their kids?” His attitude turned around as he said “Hmm. Yeah.”

Then he told me that his dad disagrees with my oldest’s ADHD diagnosis and has convinced my kid that the medicine he’s been taking for ADHD is messing with his brain and he should stop. Child then passed the phone to Dad, who told me that he was concerned because my oldest child is forgetful.

Me: He’s always been forgetful.

Jake: But it seems really dramatic.

Me: He doesn’t live with you all the time; you usually just see him on weekends. His forgetfulness has been pretty bad. The medication he’s been taking has really helped him a lot. He’s gone from struggling with simple math concepts, with tears and frustration and tantrums, to being able to complete his homework on his own within 10 minutes. It’s a night and day difference.

Jake: Forgetfulness isn’t a symptom of ADHD, though. I know, I work with kids who—

Me: Forgetfulness is a classic symptom of ADHD, Jake. Along with voice volume control issues, stimming, and angry outbursts. Ryan has all of those symptoms, and he’s been diagnosed by two separate doctors as having ADHD.

Jake: I’m just saying, he didn’t use to be this forgetful.

Me: And I’m telling you that he’s always been forgetful, ever since he was a toddler, and the medication makes him less so. We have an appointment with his psychiatrist next Thursday; I’ll bring up your concerns with her then.

Jake then handed the phone to my youngest, who ran into a different room and just burst into tears and said he wanted to come home. I asked him if something had happened, and he said he didn’t want to talk about it. Y’all. My heart aches just thinking about it.

The kids came back home on Sunday at the end of spring break, and they were both in an agitated state of mind. My oldest proceeded to yell at me in the car on the way home. My youngest was quiet and withdrawn. My oldest told me that Dad put him on a diet, and ate cookies in front of him with his brother. He explained that Dad is pitting one child against the other, and my poor truth-telling oldest child bears the brunt of Dad’s annoyance and anger. Dad called him names and made fun of his clothes. Among a litany of other things.

My oldest is nine years old. 9. NINE.

I’m still so angry about all of this that I just. I want to scream and punch things.

Who puts a nine-year-old on a diet?! And who pits one kid vs the other and encourages antagonistic behavior?! Where does he get off thinking that it’s appropriate to tell my child to stop taking his medication, and blaming all of his financial problems on me?! Since when is it appropriate for him to talk about things like child support with THAT MUCH specificity and a negative light?! Since when is it okay for him to call my children names and put them down?!

...right. He’s a narcissist, Aerin. This is what he does. This is his whole fucking thing. To stir up drama and bad emotions, and then lord over all those in his life for having negative emotions.

I want him to go away and leave us alone. Forever. Just. Disappear and leave us be. The anxiety and the tension has been running at ridiculously high levels in our home for the past couple of months. He’d seemed to be doing pretty okay, and then all of a sudden he’s just. Decided he was bored with behaving politely, apparently.

My kids’ therapist has reported him to CPS 3x just this year thus far, and it’s only April.

Another incident happened during his last visit with my kids, a more physical one which I don’t want to write about right now because the emotions are still very raw and there’s so much anger and hurt. Suffice it to say, that resulted in yet another CPS report, a consultation with my attorney, multiple discussions with my children’s therapist, and I may very well be authorizing my attorney to file an emergency motion with the court in order to try and slap an immediate injunction onto Jake’s parenting time, pending a full psych evaluation.

This has got to stop. It has to stop.

I just want him to go away forever and leave us alone.

I feel like I’ve moved 1,000 steps forward, only to suddenly be pulled 600 steps backward. All that healing I thought I’d done feels like it’s gone again. Maybe not all of it. I no longer mourn my failed relationship. I feel quite indifferent toward Jake and whatever personal life he may have going on now. But the trauma has come back. Anxiety sits in my chest and in my throat, it’s been there for the past several weeks, and I’m just. I’m constantly near tears. I can’t sleep. I’m so frustrated that this is happening. Frustrated with Jake, frustrated that he just won’t change his ways, frustrated at the hurt he is purposely inflicting upon our children, and frustrated at myself for spiraling again. WTH. I thought I was past what he’d done to me. I thought I had healed. I was dating other men, I felt like my head was on straight again, and now I’m back to feeling unprepared for another relationship (something that I want so so badly), I feel like a giant mess of scattered puzzle pieces which had been mostly put together and then upended by a spiteful toddler. How am I supposed to move forward? Is this just going to keep happening over and over and over again? Will it never get better?

Go away, Jake. Do us all a favor and leave us alone. Ghost us. Never come for us again. Please. Do just one single good thing in your life and leave us alone.

Let us move on.