#my dumb opinons

[lost-technology]

I was about to respond to someone directly on their thoughts in the ether, but I decided that I didn't want to harsh their buzz or cause a fight, so I'll just let out my thoughts here. Someone was talking about Wolfwood's grief-reaction in Badlands Rumble to thinking that Vash died. How he wrecked the red fridge in his hotel room (I also see red things and think of Vash. I've had a few things named "Vash" because they were red - good thing Wolfwood wasn't anywhere near my old tower computer). How he donned Vash's sunglasses to go to battle. Vashwooders point to that and go PROOF OF THE SHIP! and I'm like, huh? Really now. I don't think it's just because I'm an asexual. I think if people want to use that as romantic subtext, it's fine. I just think that it's proof of closeness, whatever the form. This is a problem I have with fandom in general, actually - people taking any and every interaction and making an entire thing on it and acting like people who see things differently are wrong. I am going to share a sad story now. I lost someone very dear to me this year. A found-family / chosen family nephew who was also my best friend. (An adult). This was back in January. A huge part of my grief-reaction early on was anger... like pure unfiltered rage without direction. I didn't put my fist through a fridge but I did other things. I screamed at so many people who did not deserve it. I actually had to quit the fast food job I had at the time because I feared that I was going to beat this one snide high school kid who worked there who liked to purposefully antagonize me upside the head with a greasy spatula and decided that getting therapy was better than getting an assault charge. (He did not know my situation, he was just a jerk in general, but I knew that he would be evil if he knew and I was just... not well). Another part of my grief reaction and subsequent healing has been surrounding myself with Eevees. I spent many days doing a canvas painting of a frolicking Eevee. I made careful displays of my nephew's Eevee figurines. We bought a big Eevee-plush for his memorial service that now lives on my bed. This was because my nephew loved Eevees and I associated Eevee as his icon. Either that or Optimus Prime. I can tell you absolutely that if my nephew had been murdered by a bandit rather than a random heart attack and it was time for me to go to battle to bring said bandit-gang to justice, I'd be ornamented with every Eevee-related item I have in his honor. We never banged. We never wanted to bang. We were Aunt and Nephew. We were peas in a pod geeks. And I think that is lost to people in fiction fandom sometimes - the value and importance and even the possibility of other kinds of relationships. I think it's because our society puts so much importance on romance and sex that all else is forgotten. It is perfectly okay to see certain Vash and Wolfwood interactions and reactions to each other as romantic. I know full well that my little Vash x Meryl heart SOARED during that scene in Stampede where Vash comes out of his Plant-coma and tells Meryl that he heard her (Rem's) voice through her / "I heard your voice, too." depending on whether you're watching dub or sub. I don't think it makes Vash x Meryl canon in any way and the relationship is just as easily friends / "Hey, some humans like me!" But, yes, I understand the impulse. It's just... it's not the only way to interpret it or "irrefutable proof" for all fans.

[loveourfuture-c]

Lately, I've been seeing way too many arguments about why Ben and Devi wouldn't be a good couple or why they shouldn't be endgame, and to be perfectly honest they are all stupid. So here is my long rant debunking all of those arguments.

1.”They are too much alike, their personalities are too similar”

 First of all, having similar interests and goals is not “being exactly alike”. It means you are compatible. They may share some personality traits but that doesn't mean they have the same personality.

Devi is accurately described as “Hotheaded” and a “Firecracker”. She is the one to have somewhat explosive outbursts (see throwing the beaker, throwing the textbook, ect). Even though she has grown a TON this season she still gets fired up (in a good way, I love her hotheaded tendencies)

Ben on the other hand could be described as someone with a “coolhead” (is that a term? idk it is now), we have literally never seen him have any sort of angry outburst. The few times we have seen him angry, he still managed to keep his cool. In fact we have seen him be the voice of reason to try to calm Devi down when she is having one of her “outbursts”.

Example: Ben pulling her aside to tell her she shouldn’t get emancipated and that she should make up with her mom.

(Also opposites attract doesn't mean that two completely different people will work together. Got to have some common ground)

2. “They are way too competitive with each other” 

WHEN???? Show me a time, post relationship, where they have been even remotely too competitive with each other. Oh wait you can’t. In fact we have seen them work really well together as a team (see the debate tournament)

3. “They argue too much”’

BANTERING IS NOT THE SAME THING AS ARGUING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BANTERING IS NOT THE SAME THING AS ARGUING!!!!!!!!!!!

Ben and Devi have been through an incredible amount of growth and have both matured a TON this past season. We have literally never seen them really argue at all this season and even before that i wouldn't call their interactions arguing. They just have flirty friendly banter.

4. “Devi was over Ben when she got with Paxton”

No she wasn’t!!! Are we watching the same show?? Did you not see the whole longing loving looks at the dance?? Devi has literally never fully been over Ben. (she is however fully over Paxton).

In conclusion, there really is no sound argument against Ben and Devi being together. The way they have been set up and built up since season one is pretty much flawless. They have never fully gotten over each other, they have attempted but it never worked. Devi LOVES Ben !!! SHE LITTERALLY GOT STOMACH KNOTS WHEN SHE LOOKED AT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you seen the way that girl looks at him? She has never looked at anyone else like that. She chose Ben at the end of season three because she loves and trusts him. SHE ACTIVELY CHOSE HIM!!!!!!

[poisonouspastels]

anons are really out here tonight huh

[this-doesnt-endd]

was just sitting down not doing anything and got horrible vertigo literally felt like i got picked up and flipped upside down and like it was only for a moment but the feeling of oh shit somethings wrong has not gone away like i can just feel it on the back of my neck and like its making me very worried so like is this gonna go away or am i gonna get to experience the feeling of impending doom for the second time so far

[jethroholy]

I made homebrew. Please tell me if you like it.

This homebrew is some things I thought would be really cool and or neat. I am new to making homebrew. So be gentle. I am up for taking criticism and changing things if they need it. I’m all ears!

Races:

 Canis-

ASI- 1 to charisma

Age- 107 years of age

Speed- 35 feet

Darkvision- yes but in grey shades up to 60 feet

Pack tactics- yes

Fangs- you have a natural weapon in the form of a bite attack. 1d4+ strength.

Hunters instincts- You have proficiency in one of the following skills of your choice: Athletics, Intimidation, Perception, or Survival.

Keen sense- you have advantage in smell based checks in the following: perception, survival, and investigation

Languages- common and barking

Sub race options:

Canis Major-

ASI- plus 2 to strength

Size- medium. 5 foot 8 to 9 feet.

Powerful build- you can be counted as one size larger when determining carry capacity and such

Relentless endurance- once per long rest if you are dropped to zero hit points you can instead just drop to a single one hit point.

Canis minor-

ASI- plus two to dexterity

Size- small

Aggression-you can move closer to an opponent as a bonus action with your movement speed

Nimble-you can move between people one size category larger than you

P’lotor-

Raccoon race of medium folks.

ASI- +2 to dex. +1 to con.

Size- medium or small

Age- 90 years

Darkvision- yes up to 60 feet.

Speed- 35 feet.

Expert duplication- when you copy writing or craftwork produced by yourself or another, you have advantage on any check to produce that copy.

Bite- you gotta bite! 1d6 plus strength.

Claw- dig those claws in. 1d6 plus strength.

Poison resistance- resistant to poisons.

Sneaky- you are proficient in stealth! You can fit into and move in any space large enough for a small creature without squeezing.

Rhyno-

ASI- +3 to strength. +1 to Wis.

Size- medium.

Speed- 40 feet.

Age- 100 years.

Darkvision- no.

Ram- you can use your head and horns to make unarmed strikes. When you hit with them, The strike deals 1D6 plus your strength modifier bludgeoning damage, instead of bludgeoning damage normal for an unarmed strike.

Adrenaline rush- you can take the dash action as a bonus action. You can use this trait a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest. Whenever you use this trait you gain a number of temporary hit points equal to your proficiency bonus

Natural armor- your thick hide gives you a base AC of 17 (your dexterity modifier does not affect this number). You cannot wear any type of armor and keep this AC. However if you use a shield you can add the shields bonus as normal.

Powerful build- you can be counted as one size larger when determining carry capacity and such

Classes:

Paladin: oath of the Sun knight

Spells-

• 3rd: Burning hands; faerie fire

• 5th:Continual flame; flaming sphere.

• 9th: Ashardalon’s stride; fireball.

• 13th: summon elemental(fire); fire shield.

• 17th: Wall of light; flame strike.

Chanel divinity @ 3rd lv- you gain these two options with this oath.

1. Burning knight: when you invoke this channel divinity any weapon you are holding and your unarmed strikes are infused with the holy radiance of fire and deal fire damage. Opponent’s must make a saving throw equal to your Constitution stat.

2. Holy radiance: when you invoke this channel divinity you erupt in divine light that reaches out 30 feet. Anyone within 5 feet of you is blinded for 1d4 rounds. You have disadvantage on stealth checks and opponents have disadvantage on attacks directed at you. This effect lasts for 30 minutes.

7th lv- Aura of the blaze: when you invoke this affect you are surrounded by an aura of heat. When an opponent comes into attack they are dealt 2d6 fire damage once they reach 5 feet from you. At 9th level you can add this effect to 3 willing creatures. At 18th level the damage goes up to 7d8 and can lend this aura to 5 willing creatures.

15th lv- solar fury: you can invoke this effect 3 times a day. you are filled with the intensity of the burning sun. Any creature you choose has to make a charisma saving throw or be under the fear condition for 1d4 rounds.

20th lv- The suns dragoon: you become an avatar of holy flame and gain the following benefits.

• resistance to fire damage and The ability to instead of taking radiant damage you gain half of the damage you would have taken as health points.

• You are able to change fire damage to radiant damage.

• You are able to give off heat enough i’m to distort your image. Ranged attacks have disadvantage on you.

Wizard: school of Glyphs.

2nd lv- 1.)ritual servant: Beginning when you select this school at 2nd level, the gold and time you must spend to copy a Ritual type spell into your spellbook is halved.

2.) Glyph weaver: you may weave a spell into a glyph for later use. You may only use this feature up to the amount of spells you posses. The glyphs cannot be put upon any worn item or living creature. The spell lasts for 1d4+ wizard level days before activating regardless of use. The glyphs can be activated remotely at the casters discretion. The glyphs can be dispelled by enemies.

6th lv- Glyph savvy: at this level you cut the ritual time in half for ritual spells. In addition you gain access to three glyphs that can be used once per long rest. You can only use one of these per day. Each glyph takes 1 hour of writing and it’s own components.

• Forest of respite- components: 5 seeds, a branch, 0.5 pounds of brown dirt, and a three drops of blood. Effect: a small forest Big enough for eight medium sized creatures. The interior bares fruit and is pleasantly warm. It lasts for 6 hours plus wizard level.

• Guardian- components: a bottle of ink, a skull of a small creature, and wolf fur. Effect: a beast emerges from the glyph, taking the symbols that were written and incorporating it into its own body. The beasts form is yours to describe but it is hazy and transparent. It is a cr 5 creature with a 12 ac and 45 (8d8+5) hp. It will only protect you unless directed otherwise. It deals mainly force damage. The guardian lasts 1d4+2 hours. It’s stats for attacking and such are dependent on what form you give it.

• Containment- components: 1 spell slot, 5 gold, and 3 raven feathers. Effect: you trap a person, beast, monster, or otherwise inside of a wall of force. The wall itself is invisible until it is struck, once visible it has glyphs woven into the walls that go back to being invisible. If the trap individual attempts to escape they take 4d6 damage plus your intelligence modifier. The wall lasts 8 hours.

10th lv- Protection of arcane: once per day you can engrave a glyph into your body to gain resistance to magical damage of a specific type. The damage cannot be the following: bludgeoning, slashing, piercing. The glyph lasts until you take a long rest. At 14th level you may add an additional protection glyph. At 18th level you may have 3 protection glyphs.

14th lv- Shield weaver: you can use a bonus action to weave a shield of arcane glyphs. This shields ac is your current ac plus your intelligence modifier. The shield is able to absorb and reflect long range damage dealing spells as well as Block physical attacks. You can use a reaction to send the absorbed spell back at an opponent. The shield lasts for 1 minute.

[red-write-hand]

this is the part where you hear me out...

so we all know and love the whole trope of tommy dating just the kindest, most ditzy girl. i love that. any fics, i love them, but hear me out, hear me out on this, tommy dating just the sweetest, most adorably dumb boy.

like tommy's lover would ask tommy questions that are very easy to answer but tommy takes a second only because sometime his love doesn't understand tommy's answer. tommy is a sucker for a pretty face with empty space behind it. bonus points if that pretty face is loyal. tommy's darling would be permanently in tommy's lap while tommy does work, absolutely content to just sit there and let tommy do his thing. he would know that tommy does want him around and tommy never means to be mean when tommy calls his darling prince dumb, he knows that tommy means it endearingly.

tommy would absolutely love if his ditzy boy is also very needy. perfect combination for him. tommy could just lay back and watch his normally confused boyfriend fuck himself on tommy's cock with such skill. if tommy wasn't so possessive of his property (read his boyfriend) he would ask Alfie to let him study the way his love moves. almost like he was strategic about how he went around pleasing the man he loved. tommy would remind him a lot "how can a pretty boy so dumb look so smart while bouncing on my cock, eh?" and that would just get his prince to stick his face into tommy's neck to hide his embarrassment. these little teasing sessions would just end with tommy cooing that 'just because you're a little ditzy handsome, doesn't mean I don't love you. you think i don't love you, eh?' and with tommy's sunshine finally uncurling himself and gently kissing tommy's temple reminding him that 'if you ever stop loving me, i'm so ditzy, i probably won't notice.' tommy would chuckle and remind him that will never happen and that it's hard to get rid of a shelby once they've gotten their hands on a pretty face like his.

i think im a little too gay for the shelby boys. @birminghamshelbyboys do you think so? need a second opinon to be honest @atsv-enthusiast or you, but you kinda already know i am

[tacobellabeanburrito]

Let’s talk about Phoenix and Miles’ red/blue gay color scheme.

I love the fact that the colors are switched. You’d expect Phoenix to be the red gay because he’s firey, kinda dumb and silly, and is way more extroverted. He’s such a sweetie and that’s kinda what makes a red gay a red gay most of the time.

And then, you’d expect Miles to be the blue gay because he’s calm, collected and cold. Wears glasses for crying out loud and doesn’t do well with feelings and people which is the recipe for a blue gay.

But then, you also think about how well they go with their colors too. Despite Phoenix being spunky, he’s still such a straight man to literally everyone in the Ace Attorney universe compared to how red gays usually are. He’s such a smartass and actually very intelligent although he doesn’t get to show it often. He’s also one of the most chill characters in Ace Attorney and that makes him such a good blue gay.

And then you have Miles who in my opinon, is already super fiery. He’s so passionate about his work and gets fired up over the slightest things. He’s dorky and kind, just like a lot of the regular red gays and is very confident. He has absolutely no chill factor at times (especially when he’s angry). Despite them being the opposite of what their colors are supposed to be (considering my the fact that most red gays act like Phoenix and most blue gays act like Miles) they fit their other colors so well.

Sorry if this doesn’t make sense. I’m basically just talking about how Phoenix and Miles sort of switched colors but the colors actually really fit them.

This can also fit for some other rival romantic relationships and I think it's super cool when it gets switched up.

[teddie-bear420]

tier list

OPINONS UNDER THE CUT

warning this is super long and ranty but does have some silly doodles ill post else where :)

-teddie bear 420

I have had several dreams about vaggie and lute and alastor, they plage my every waking moment. one was me going to smooch city with alastor (very scary that man does not wash his teeth). the others vaggie just shows up sometimes

really liked vaggie in her angel flash back, her hair cut was so cute, not a fan she still has pink eye but what eves. I LOVE HER PONY TAIL THO, give my girl better hair styles!!!

do you think theyve explored each others bodies?

I hated lute at first cuz, just look at her. you could get snow blindness with how white that woman is oh my lord. but once the 8th episode rolled around with hot women fighting my brain kinda clicked on for our old second in command. i keep going back to her in my brain and slowly morphing her into a heart broken lesbian who has a superiority complex and bullies her crush and then moves on to having a sugar mama situation ship with Lilith.

alastor is just so fun and silly, and there's this one x reader fic that ive made fan art of, you've all seen it. i just love this guy but i like to imagine he's a woman just for me :)

i understand why he is a fan favorite

i love charlies look but i hate how childish she is, like girl you are like 24 kill your friends pimp. nifty molly emily are all so cute and i enjoy looking at them. cant wait for the nifty episode (delusional)

i do love nifty more than the rest of these ones tho. i see lots of folks talking about how nifty is alastors daughter or angel dusts little baby daughter SHUT UP

SHES 25 YEARS OLD AND MURDERED HER HUSBAND IN HER SLEEP. NIFTY CALLED ALASTOR OVER TO HAVE THEIR LUNCH DATE AND HIDE THE BODY!!!

OK maybe nifty lives in my dreams too

do you think theyve explored each others bodies?

mimzy makes me mad cuz the show hated having her there clearly, like why is she the only fat person in hell. dont worry girl, I'll appreciate you once again i have to make alastor a dyke for my own sanity

do you think they-

lilith and rosie are good to look at, i like how rosie talks and her showtunes, god i love her show tunes. pentious is the only yellow dude in hell. velvete looks like ass most of the time but I LOVE A BAD BITCH

like i said, no strong feelings

ok most of these dudes are too ugly or too annoying and i hate when they are on screen, lucifers pants are his skin, angel dust has the worst fashoin sense ever UGHS I HATE HIM WHERE ARE HIS TITS WAAAAAA

also i love that her name is sarah, thats such a basic name, like i can type alastor x reader and theres a bunch of results but if i typed sarah x reader, shes no where :(

also shes got that mlp horse face going on i love it

i despise carmilla carmine, i hate her dumb horns, i hate her unnamed daughters, i hate her skirt, i hate her song, i hate her blazed ass eyes, i hate her long hair

vox just looks bad i cant lie

OK ADUM MAKES ME SO MAD HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN JACK BLACK WE SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIM BEING A FAT BASTARD CUZ I WAS CONVINCED HE WAS ANOTHER SKINNY TWINK also i am an anti shipper when it comes to adum x lute cuz that shit is weaaaak. he is so mean to her and not in a hot way, adum is some incel and lute is a goddess

yeah, #adumisoverparty 2024 the most divorced man in heaven

i can not wait for season two dude, im so pumped

[rinsoap]

˚ ༘ ♡⋆｡˚ ﾐ the big inarizaki three's favourite artists!

✿²˖ ࣪ ➣ includes : suna rintaro, osamu miya + atsumu miya

note : THIS HAS BEEN IN MY BRAIN SINCE DAY ONEEE SUNA, OSAMU, IWAIZUMI, MATTSUN, KYOTANI AND SEMI R ALL TYLER STANS LITERZLLY FIGHT ME!!!!

suna rintaro :

!!? ok this man has 100% turned every single one of his friends onto tyler the creator. he likes to say he “discovered” him as if he didn’t have like 300 million streams at the time ?? and tbh he didn’t even discover him iwaizumi put him on 😭😭 but he’s a little liar so 🙅🏼‍♀️ but at least he has good music taste!!!!

his favourite songs by tyler the creator are :

- ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? on the IGOR album.

- FUCKING YOUNG / PERFECT on the cherry bomb album.

- WILSHIRE on the CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST album.

!!? he will NEVER admit it but he LOVES red velvet 😭😭 he is a kpop stan till he dies and he is RIDDEN with guilt. osamu will be making fun of koreaboos (as he should) and suna will be slowly shrinking into his shirt as he starts yelling about how dumb kpop is. he truly would rather die than admit he knows every single lyric to sunny side up!

his favourite songs by red velvet are :

- BYE BYE on the reve festival 2022 birthday EP.

- russian roulette on the russian roulette: third mini album.

- BAMBOLEO on the reve festival 2022 feel the rhythm EP.

——✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : give you the world by steve lacy. 505 by arctic monkeys. IMPURITIES by le sserafim. yes i’m changing by tame impala.

osamu miya :

!!? he is obsessed with cigarettes after sex! it is truly insane how it is one of the only bands that genuinely makes him cry. like he will be listening to K. with atsumu in the car and atsumu would be groaning like “dude stop with this sad shit its killing the vibe” as a single tear rolls down osamu’s cheek 😭

his favourite songs by cigarettes after sex are :

- john wayne on the cigarettes after sex album.

- affection (single).

- heavenly on the cry album.

!!? OK MAYBEE THIS IS AN UNPOPULAR OPINON but this man is 100% a shameful swiftie. he doesn't know why but he literally will not tell anybody he loves taylor swift like it is his guilty pleasure and for what ???? he loved her in her red era too, he is LOYAL he's been a fan since 2012 dude !!!!

his favourite songs by taylor swift are :

- the very first night [from the vault] on the red (taylor's version) album.

- august from the folklore album.

- i think he knows on the lover album.

——✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : lovers rock by tv girl. pretty boy by the neighbourhood. apple cider by beabadoobee. SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK by joji.

atsumu miya :

!!? his favourite is chase atlantic because he's a fucking prick LMAO he is a chase atlantic MENACE he plays it everywhere any occasion and frequently LIES ab it??? he'll be like "i'm kind of a fan on the dl you know not that big of a deal haha the music is good but its whatever" and then squeal everytime he sees a tiktok of a concert 😭

his favourite songs by chase atlantic are :

- drugs & money (new mix) on the chase atlantic album.

- HEAVEN AND BACK on the PHASES album.

- goosebumps chase atlantic remix (unreleased)

!!? he will never tell anyone how badly he fucks with olivia rodrigo like he is convinced she wrote SOUR for HIM. he will lock himself in his room, walk to the corner of his room before sliding down the wall in absolute shambles as he screams all of the lyrics blasting through his poor headphones. osamu literally hates olivia for this exact reason he cannot listen to her anymore.

his favourite songs by olivia rodrigo are :

deja vu on the SOUR album.

all i want on the high school musical: the musical: the series soundtrack.

happier on the SOUR album.

——✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : borderline by tame impala. beef flomix by flo milli. heartless by the weeknd. want u back by cher lloyd.

[decy-press]

i finally completed Virtue's Last Reward last night so now i can finally post these memes i made several months ago

alt text below:

the images show portraits of a bunch of zero escape characters, each one paired up with a dril tweet i thought matched up to them. the characters and their matching tweets are:

sigma: "the rumors are true.; i am indeed sending out valentine day kisses to all of my pretty lady followers. even the ones who have betrayed me" phi: "sad to see people betraying their friends for no reason. couldnt be me. i only betray my friends when it gives me an Advantage" K: "if i had a suit of armor i could easily beat the shit out of any man alive" quark: "DAD: i just heard on t he news that teens are taking the "kick my ass" challenge. please dont do this. ME: you have no power over me, old man" tenmyouji: "dont pay mind of me. i am just a hound dogs old ass..." luna: "can we stop the posts please guys. can we all cool it with the gags, riffs, spoofs, and epic shit. people are trying to do mental health" dio: "struting around in my stepson cowboy hat looking for an ass kicking" clover: "(carrying a huge polkadotted bindle, looking like a dumb ass, shoes completely untied) mother.. father... im leaving home to join the cops" alice: "to the longhorn steakhouse which refused to serve me: a bib most certainly counts as a shirt" zero jr: "the jduge orders me to take off my anonymous v mask & im wearing the joker makeup underneath it. everyone in the courtroom groans at my shit"

ace: "wghen other people do jokes, they get the big buzz feed office, allowed to kiss girls, etc, but when i do it im treated like a Crook. typical" snake: "daily reminder that i wear a suit and tie daily eeven though i have not set foot in public for over 16 years. #GoodBoy #Hansdome" santa: "look at all these pitiful toads shamelessly seeking validation, unlike me, seeking validation in a cool, disaffected sort of way" clover: "(in a really quiet, barely audible voice) hope your dick falls of bitch" junpei: "AH. ONCE AGAIN IM RAKED THRU THE COALS AND TORTURED TO DEATH FOR HAVING A NORMAL PERSONS OPINON. FUCK OFF" june: "GIRL: (after listening to me explain something i invented called Weed Theory for 20 mins) Wow thats pretty good. Did you invent that? ME: yes" seven: "i may not know "jack shit", but i know my friend "jack fists" and he would like to come knock the shit out of your teeth," lotus: "to me the most normal career path is to fail at show biz and resort to getting paid by defense contractors to make reddit psots or some shit" ninth man: "so long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement" zero: "if you are a hater you have 9 hours to confess to being a hater and apologise and pull your pants down so every one can see your dick"

[spicyicetea]

So... Me again. Did I just put a post out saying that I probably won't update any time soon? Yes. Am I now putting out a chunky post about a Pokémon au I've been making as stress relief? Yes. Am I scared of being judged or people thinking the au sounds dumb? Very much so. Well here's my au! Please enjoy, I beg you.

Distortian au

This au is centred around my personal favourite pokemon characters and a villain team me and my friends made up one night. The evil team is refered to as team lotus and their main goal is to open a reliable pathway into the distortian realm to comune with Giritina. I don't want to give too many spoilers about why they're doing this, in case I do end up writing a longer story, but it isn't for inherently evil reasons, like self gain or the destruction of humanity. The Y/N character in this AU would be the younger sibling of the leader of Team Lotus. Y/N is unaware of their siblings association with the team and works with the other trainers at trying to take down the team.

Speaking of which, the other strong pokemon trainers, like the champions, gym leaders and other powerful trainers (Like Emmet and Ingo), would join in the fights trying to take down the team as they recruit technology and members of other evil teams from other regions. The team is hiding itself under a man made resort island that is currently hosting a world wide battle competition to determine the the strongest trainer in the world.

How would this change the actual characters?

Well the personalities of the characters wouoldn't change in any extreme way, however I would be applying personal headcannons onto them for what happened after the events of their game/games or just how I believe they would actually act. Just as an example of what I mean by this, I like the idea that certain evil team leaders would have tried to redeem themselves after being defeated. Obviously some of them would have remained set in their ways, characters like Ghetsis not being willing to change his views and Giovanni wanting to change for the sake of Silver but struggling due to old habits. The other evil team leaders I can see redeeming themselves are like Archie and Maxie as they were just very... dumb with their actions and I'm a big believer in a Cyrus redemption arc where Cynthia forces him to therapy out of pity and he reshapes team galactic to monitor the distortian realm with their technology after damaging the veil between the distortian realm and the normal world. I can't help myself, I tend to like the bad guys more than the good guys in pokemon games, or at least the older ones, the newer ones just don't have the same spark and appeal as the old ones in my opinon, excpet for Guzma... I love Guzma.

More about Y/N:

Although I refer to them here with they/them pronouns, if I were to actually write them I'd prob use fem pronouns because it's what I find easier to write for, especially for shipping reasons. As much as I would love for it to be completely self insert with the pokemon team being up to the reader, I will have to make hard decisons if I ever have Y/N in a pokemon fight or just relaxing with their pokemon. For any posts about this au, feel free to put suggestions for pokemon for Y/N to have, the more I see it, the more likely I am to consider it as an option.

Now time for me to dump all my art regarding this au onto yall, or at least the stuff on my iPad. Most of the drawings are just the slight redesigns I use for the au stuff I have written so far. Most are slight changes, but some get complete outfit changes like Cyrus to fit his new role in the au.

[superfrostydrawing]

Disclaimer: My opinon on this volume right below, might offend some, so y’know, just don’t read it.

So, anyway, I actually liked this volume. It’s not my favorite but lord knows it’s not the worst, so I don’t have much problems with it altogether.

It had highlights, fun moments I really enjoyed like finding Jaune and the tension with Ruby finding herself and found the fights to be really good, oh and the bumblebee was really nice too.

No, what actually bothers me out of the whole volume is the last line of the weird robot-tree lady at the end of the last chapter. “Not where, but when you’re needed the most”.

I dont like that at all.

I’ve said it time and time again how much I Despise the thought of them coming back to Remnant years later, mostly because it makes no sense whatsoever!

We all know that MAJOR changes had to happen in Vacuo in the years after the fall of Atlas and just coming back to see everything already developed when we, the audience, didn’t see crap makes little to no sense.

Another point is that Tyrian and Mercury arrived to Vacuo BEFORE the fall of Atlas, and chances are Cinder and Salem are there too. So it’s absolutely DUMB for the villains sit on their bottoms for years waiting for the main cast to return so the plot can continue, more so when the Winter maiden and the relic of destruction is within arms reach.

Unless we find out next volume that actually they all died and there’s no more Vacuo, but again, we need to see the development and it’s highly unlikely :/

So, finishing this off I just want to simply state how much I despite this premise and if they actually jump in time the chances are high that I will leave forever. That’s all

[turkeyjournal]

Book review: Killers of a certain age by Deanna Raybourn

Just want to preface there WILL be spoilers so, dont read if you dont want spoilers.

OVERALL RATING: 7.8/10

Brief Descripition: 4 old ladies: Billie, Mary Alice, Helen and Natalie have worked for a secret assasination organzation called 'The museum' and forty years have been assasians. When they each are at the time of their life where they are retiring and decide to go on a cruise ship when all of a sudden the get attacked by The museum...

My Personal Thoughts: To be completly honest, i really enjoyed this book. I had alot of fun reading it and it was super fun. I wondered how they could write an action kind of novel in a book. Like how do you even write action scenes but Raybourn proved me wrong. This book is more a thriller/mystery/action type o book and i seriously suggest people read it. I was gonna give it a 8 but everytime they would mention art and descriptions of the art in the book, especially when at the end when they killed the baroness and at the end when they were trying to kill Vance i just got so bored and confused so it kind of ruined the vibe.

I actually thought i found a spelling error but then i found out that the word 'diffident' is a real word. I thought she was saying different but nevermind she wasnt. So there was no spelling errors which is great. I hate when a book has spelling errors it just looks dumb.

The start of the book, so like the first 50 pages were so bored. I think it had a good plot but i was reading it and just felt bored. But ater the first 50 pages, it was like i was stuck. The story was so intresting and thrilling, i loved how the book described every move. Sometimes the fight scenes in this made no sense, like at the end or example. When Billie was fighting Vance, half way i thought "what the hell is going on" and like "how is that move even humanely possible."

Billie was my favorite charcter. She had this kind of cool macho Sylvester Stallone in tusla king feel. It was cool to see a badass and older women who isnt some weird quiet "ive seen so many things and im so dainty and delicate and misunderstood" type of main charcter. Even her realtionship with Tarverner wasnt all angry and stupid, it was really mature and lovely.

During the time when they had killed Sweeney and Helen paused when shooting i thought that maybe Helen had something she was hiding and couldve done some whole betrayel act and played more into that because alot of back stabbing was happening throughout the story, but thats just my opinons honestly.

Overall, would i read it again? Maybe i could. When i rate things 7-8 usually means i really liked the book but it couldve been better and i MIGHT re read it but not 100% likely to. I think the size of the story was really good and i enjoyed it alot and it wasnt a hard read. It did however take me 2 weeks to actually start reading the book but that was only because i had alot to do with school and midterms. But now that i finally got to read it i thourghouly enjoyed it and i will be suggesting people to read this book aswell. I added an actualy picture of the book because last review looked a little dull so i put thisi to make it look prettier.

[witcherhunterbros]

I finished watching the latest The Witcher season and I kind of understand that Henry Cavill is leaving, as he seems to be an uber-nerd when it comes to Sapkowski’s book series. I,too, love the books and games...and I know that any adaptation has to make changes because some things might work in writing but not on the screen, but some story points and the behavior of some characters 

do not make sense to me in that show. I think the show is at its strongest when it follows the narrative of the book series more closely, as soon as it deviates to much, well, the writing just becomes bad e.g. the character development of some side characters felt very erratic at times. Even as someone who knows the narrative, I had trouble following the story and making sense of why this character suddenly behaved in a completely different way than before. I suppose it might be even worse for people who don’t know the books. It just felt like things and events, especially the whole political aspect of the story, were brushed aside or over-simplified for the series compared to the books. And what is worse is that it felt like some characters have been dumbed down. Moreover, the pacing just felt off at times and I somehow did not care most of the time for the characters and what was happening to them, especially in the first half of the season. That changed somewhat with the last four episodes. In my opinion, the fifth episode is the strongest of this season. Probably because I usually enjoy non-linear story telling and it is the closest to the books, they even used a good chunk of dialogue from the books. I also liked episode seven and eight, especially Ciri’s journey - which was also rather truthful to the events in the book, plus it was really cool to see The Rats for the first time, which I thought were introduced very well.

The costume design and the set pieces as well as the visual effects are still hit and miss in my opinon. Though, one thing that stood out for me in a positive way was the new design of the Dryads. I think they looked really amazing and it fit with who they are, a definitiv improvement over how they were portrayed in season 1.

In conclusion, the show had it moments, but they were to far and few to make it an enjoyable watching experience. I mean, as a lover of the books I could go on a rant about some creative choices, but the thing that annoys me the most is how it feels like the creators themselves or at least those in charge do not understand the appeal of Sapkowski’s narrative. He has created such an intriguing and rich universe with political intrigues and literally warring parties, the threath of world changing events constantly hanging in the air, and somehow the series lacks all of the interesting aspects or simplifies them in a way that makes them boring. Sapkowski’s series is like a 12-course menu and I guess, I just expected the show to deliver a full healthy meal and what I got instead was a meager unhealthy snack that is soon forgotten because there is nothing memorable enough about it except a dull aftertaste.

[popculturebuffet]

Gay as  A Fox: The Simpsons (Homer’s Phobia, There’s Something About Marrying, The Burns Cage, Portrait of a Flunky on Fire) (Comissoin for WeirdKev27)

Happy pride all you happy people! I”m Jake, I do reviews and analysis and today we finally kick off pride on this blog in style! While I did celebrate pride in my last owl house review for the season, pride on this blog has always been special to me. See the first pride I did here was the first I did while out of the closet as a bisexual, and i’ve stayed out and proud since. So while this year is slimmed down since i’m doing less reviews, i’m still giving it my all and kicking us off, we have a special event cooked up by WeirdKev27, aka the guy what pays for most of my paid reviews that I absolutely love: Welcome folks to Gay as a Fox, my look at 4 different fox shows and how they handle pride, three episodes a piece barring simpsons which got an extra one because it’ll outlive us all. We’ll be looking at simpsons, family guy, american dad and The great north. King of the HIll sadly didn’t make the cut as it didn’t, as far as I know, have a third episode dealing with queer issues to go with the stellar “My Own Private Rodeo” and “The Peggy Horror Picture Show”. And no the one where bill pretends to be gay to get a hairdressing job does not count. I will be saving them for future prides though because they are awesome and I wanted to at least mentoin why they wren’t being included before the flood of asks came in. 

As for why look at these shows, it’s honestly because when kev brought up the idea it fascnated me: to see how the idea of queer characters and gay rights evolved as various shows creators and writers tried tackling it. For the most part these are genuine attempts at helping people empathize with the Gay community while also poking some fun at just how DUMB and nonsensical the other sides hateful arguments really are when you get down to it. Granted we’re also going to have to deal with Quagmire’s Dad, aka an episode that’s anything but any of that and i’m going to enjoy metaphorically punching in the scrotum next week, but for the most part these eps are a bunch of people trying to be an ally. Great North is the odd show out both being newer and having an actual gay character in the main cast, but we’ll get to that. For now it’s just fun, again barring that thing that happened we’ll uppercut next week, to look back as well as give my opinons on shows I normally don’t cover on this blog. 

Starting us off is The Simpsons: and as the sheer NUMBER of simpsons refrences on this blog, almost one a review honestly and at least once a week can attest I love this show and my attitude towards the first 10 seasons is 

It’s some of the best comedy ever and I could go on all day about my faviorite bits...

I could go on but that could take days we don’t have so the point is I love the show but i’ve mostly tuned out of the later seasons. I catch an ep once in a while and their not terrible, but they just feel like their going through the motions, staying on because it’s so long lived and record busting and not because they want to make a great new take on an old faviorite, or that fox won’t let whoevers running it now. It’s not BAD but it just dosen’t intrest me. 

That said this trip was very intresting: there’s an episode from every decade the simpsons has been around here and thus it spread the gamut of the show from it’s golden age, to it’s decent broonze one to the current “it’s still on” era of the now now. Do the old aesops hold up? do the new eps relight the spark? Let’s take alook. 

                                      Homer’s Phobia (Season 8)

Homer’s Phobia is a true classic that’s aged remarkably well. Despite turning 25 this year, a milestone I wasn’t aware of till doing that math but am pleased as punch I’m getting to the episode on, a LOT of what it discusses and how it satrazies homophobia holds up amazingly and as is standard for golden age simpsons, the jokes are mostly still funny as hell and come in quick. It’s simpsons at it’s best. 

It’s only real age spot is bringing in a guest character, John voiced by everyone’s weird uncle John Waters, to do the aseop. Had John stuck around, then I wouldn’t really have an issue with this but having such a high profile actor, he instead falls into the trap of one off character designed to teach a lesson then vanish into the either. 

You can still have a good episode WITH that trope in play, A Diffrent World’s episode on AIDS springs to mind, but it always feels cheap to not just go the whole 9 yards and use a character fans actually know, something later writers would mostly correct. 

There’s also an ehhh spot here or there: Marge outs John to homer simply because he comes off gay to her which is all kinds of 

For one that’s making a LOT of assumptions. For another i’ts not her place to out him and does nothing but harm. While John shrugs off Homer’s Homophobia, likely all too used to it, it could’ve gone a LOT worse. It fits the time but it still feels like she ONLY outed him to homer to make the plot move along. There’s also the fact they wanted to name the episode Bart the Homo 

And wanted to use a certain F word, which is the only time John Waters really stepped his foot in, telling the writers it was WAY too loaded to have homer use, which was the right call. So clearly the writers had good intentions.. but had no idea what the hell the were doing in other aspects, but with that it’s remakrable that’s about all I can find that really stands out as “Yikes”. 

While John is a one shot character, only getting some cameos later since John Waters is likely busy, he’s a good character: he loves kitzch and camp, explaning it perfectly and making me and @jess-the-vampire​ who watched these with me as I was running behind this week working on the review that will be out after this, both realize Miraculous Ladybug qualifies. What homer thinks is camp is just.. fantastic

He’s not the deepest character, but he’s charming enough you get why the simpsons love him and his talk about kitch, while a bit overdone early on, does throughly fit the king of it voicing him. John Waters is just clearly having a blast. We also get smithers snuck in there as John’s partner.. who he snuck away from brunch with. It’s a nice little nod to their only other gay character at the time... who was so deep in the closet it wasn’t till two decades itno the show he finally left it. But we’ll get to that

What really sells the episode though his Homer and how the episode uses him as the perfect tool to tear apart homophobia and peel back any nonsense pretense to show it at it’s core: stupid, petty, nonsensical and potetially harmful.  Once Marge outs John, again nice going there midge, homer procedes to handle things with all the grace and tact you’d expect and it is glorious as it is clearly in the wrong. 

Homer’s homophobia is shown as potetially harmful and stupid.. but also well played for laughs, showing that beneath every argument about “family values” and “what real america means’ we STILL hear today.. is just a bunch of idiots making up excuses to hate someone that are flimsy and nonsesical as homers.  The fear of queer people “turning” others is STILL an issue that persisits today and is part of why this one sadly holds up. Marge dosen’t remotely see this as a crisis and even Bart is clueless that THAT’S what his dad is trying to do all episode till the hlarious ending, and both he and lisa are aware and tolerant of gay people. John being gay is only a problem because Homer can’t accept him for who he is and the episode makes homer nothing but an outdated butt of the joke who needs to accept that gay people exist, if his son turns out ot be gay or bi or pan or anythign in between it’s okay, and that he was the one who was wrong. 

Homer’s actions are terrible here, trying to make bart more “straight” and outright telling John to leave.. but the episode wisely leaves him impotent to actually do anything against gay people. Marge outright refuses to humor his bs, with him only taking bart hunting because he happened to grab him while the kids were only with john, John simply snarks at him and points out the hohles in his hate asking why he feels this way, and again Bart is oblivious. 

His attempts to turn bart straight only want to make the kid smoke after starring at a “sexy” billboard, and lead to one of the funniest scenes in the series

Is it campy? yes. Is it hilarious as a queer man myself? Yes, from Homer’s “I don’t know” to the oh be nice to “we work hard we play hard”. It’s just such a hliariously over the top scene.

Homer’s last attempt.. is even worse attempting to get hunting which Bart, in a bhit of irony descrbies as really gay, and which fails entirely, forcing them to try shooting reindeer.. which bart still refuses because he dosen’t want to shoot santa’s reindeer. It shows how trying to narrow masculinity to one sexuality or way of thinking is toxic, and holds up well as all homer’s idiocy does is nearly get him killed, though he does shield himself.

in the end John saves homer with a robotic santa from earlier, and the show does lampshade how this is a one off situation that really can’t solve the larger neverending issue of homophobia

All in all a true standout in a period of simpsons that stood out that shockingly, and sadly holds up amazingly. It also has this oddly relevant line that sounds like it’s coming straight from the mouths of the simpsons new corprate overlords

Can this please be the new content warning? Pretty please disney? Also just as a note NONE of these episodes, only one of which is not on disney+ as season 33 hasn’t been added yet, were in Disney’s pride collection. As you let that one marinate, let’s move on

           There’s Something About Marrying ( Season 16)

So yeah an 8 YEAR GAP between episodes, though there was “three gays of condo” between these. That said this episode is almost as good as the previous one and stuck in my brain for good reason. Seriously this episode is as good as any season 1-8 episode, keeping the satire from Homer’s Phobia well and alive while also throwing in plenty of other great jokes. 

Here after a prank by bart gets a travel tv guy to hate them, Springfield badly needs ideas and shockingly they easily accept Lisa’s propsal to legalize gay marraige... if for very .. mouse shaped reasons

The episode glefully points out that a lot of people only want to cash IN on gay people and are only in favor of LBTQ+ causes because i’ts profitable. The episode dosen’t delve too deep into it but when THIS happened just a year ago

And again Disney’s pride section on plus still has tons of omissions simpsons eps included, it’s not hard to see why even if gay marriage is now legal this episode is still relevant. This shit still happens and probably always will. Even Lisa, whose clearly doing this for the right reasons, knows that it’s the only way this would probably happen or she woudln’t of suggested it at a budget meeting. 

It also once again paints homophobes with the brush of being assholes with no real defense: despite money coming in hand over fist Reverend Lovejoy outright refuses with his wife and nature’s perfect karen Helen standing by him, and gives no real reason, with Marge outright owning his ass. When told gay relatoinships aren’t allowed by the bible she simply asks “what book” and TREIS to give an actual argument against it that he simply drowns out iwth the chruch bell, showing how the chruches that endorse this crap often just ignore the moral implications of what their doing and any resonable argument in favor of “it’s in the bible so shut up”

Homer however has changed, having dropped his predjudices, and in a show where nothing really sticks it is nice his treatment of gay people has. Like any decent human being he just sees them as people. Granted he sees them as people he can get large sums off money off but still. The show even spoofs the stupid idea that “same sex marraige leads to me marrying anything”.. which my dad used all the fucking time. Seriously if he coudl’ve gotten monogramed towels saying “Gay Marriage will lead to me marrying my cat” he would’ve.  The fact he kept using Bob like that just makes me wonder more about dad than about the vaidity of gay marriage. Homer DOES marry anyone to anything.. but it’s clearly because he wants money and not because there’s any causality between the two. Homer just wants more money and ran out of gay people in town to marry and Marge won’t let him push lenny and carl.. which given they still aren’t together in 2022 may of been a mistake. Granted I do question putting it in the episode as it confuses the issue slightly.. but I get what they were going for enough I can let it pass. 

The plot then  pivots: the rest of the episode is still about gay marraige and Homer’s new job for the week as a minister is still VITALLY important.. but it becomes more personal. And I feel that was intettional. See in the first half Marge is NOTHING but supportive of gay marriage, going to bat against lovejoy, praising homer for what he’s doing (even if his motives are well.. entirely Homer), and in general being for this. 

And thennnn... Patty shows up, wanting Homer to do a marriage cermony for her. And it’s obvious where this is going: even without the implication of going to someone who does gay weddings as his main buisness model, this week, the fact is Patty HATES homer. More than anyone. Watching any episode of simpsons with patty and selma will tell you they want nothing less than to dance on their in law’s grave. They brought a date for marge to homer’s bipass on the high chance he didn’t make it. It’s clear if Patty had ANY other option she woudln’t be going here... and it works so well. It shows just how willfully ignorant Marge is being, that the signs her sister is gay and is goign to marry a woman are there.. but she just can’t see it till it hits her in the face. 

And it teaches a valuable aseop: it’s easy for some people to be super liberal and progressive... but they can still turn on her family. It’s why so many gay people fear coming out. Hell I knew my mom and brother would be alright, they were and weren’t even shocked, and I was still scared, never mind my dad who need I remind you thought gay marriage = I can finally marry my cat. He WAS accepting.. but I honestly didn’t think it’d turn out that way and it’s a pleasant suprise it did. So exploring the idea that even someone as open and accepting as marge would have issues and actively be in denial... it was incredibly well done. Like with Homer, the show, while showing he has a heart often has him as an asshole for laughs

So it’s not a stretch that he’d be homophobic and need to learn something.  But with marge it hits harder because while she’s not PERFECT, she’s a kind empathetic person so for her to have trouble accepting it, esepcailly when the idea bart was gay didn’t phase her, especailly in her own sister hits harder and thus feels that much more realistic. And it’s likely that Marge simply never saw her sister as gay and thus would rather live in denial than accept the reality and thus her marriage, a constant reminder of it and is a passive agressive shrew all night till Patty rightfully calls her out. Selma for her part is clear she’ll be deeply lonely, but supports her sister in this, with Selma herself having rushed into multiple marraiges including a third to disco stu. God loves you disco stu. Also she’d go on to marry grandpa which I want to tackle some day for some reason.  

It’s also bold they went with Patty for this. Unlike Jon this isn’t a character they can easily just have walk into the rainbow colored sunset. Patty and Selma are some of the simspons only family and great foils to both their sister and their brother in lard. Doing this means comitting to it and facing the backlash for making a supporting character who won’t be going away gay. But they did it and it made the episode better: this isn’t just a friend of the simspons this is marge’s sister and if she can’t accept this she likely looses both of them as family. 

And Marge sinks to some very lows as we get a plot twist and.. not a great one.  Now there are BAD implications here.. but I don’t think any of them were in mind. it was just a cheap way to keep Patty from marrying because

So ... turns out her bride to be is a man, a pro golfer.. is a man in disguise. Which let’s be clear here: Veronica is not trans: They crossdress purely to play golf with the wga and fully idenfity as a man when Marge reveals the truth to poor patty. But... having a man prtend to be a woman.. is loaded as all fuck with anti trans rethoric. I dont’ think they INTENDED it but it’s easily the worst part of the episode because of it. They shoudl’ve thought this through more and there are a million other ways they coudl’ve had the two break up or you know.. just let patty be happy and have her new bride live with them. Seriously let them be happy for once. I know their assholes to homer, to a ludcrious degree, but come on. 

Anyways, the rest of the episode goes how you’d expect: Marge has a change of heart when Patty gives her vows, a well done way to turn her with Marge fully accepting her sister and stopping said marriage depsite again, sinking low enough she was about to let it go on just to get what she wanted. And they also lampshade the fact homer won’t have this job next week

A truly great gag. Overall apart from one element which is solid yikes, but at least unteitonal, it’s a pretty great episode and I didn’t , like the last ep get itno all the great adds form homer making a bride of the monster refrence to offering to sand patty’s face (I wasn’t joking) to taking Bart’s idea to have someone marry someone in a box of snakes to fox (”Please stay on the line your halfbaked ideas are all we have)” It’s a fairly good episode that holds up decent. While Gay Marriage is legal now, it’s satire still does.. even if the veronica thing is stilll

But we’ll get much worse next week.. “Shudders” but for now

                                 The Burns Cage (Season 27) 

This was LONG overdue. I mean my god look at that season number. Twenty Seven. By this point Patty had been out for over a DECADE. Yet despite...

ALL within the first batch of seasons.. and it still took you THIS LONG to let him out of the closet. But the episodes where people with dwarfisim are treated as magical beings, bart was driven to suicide, two seperate clipshows, and Selma marrying grandpa were ALL put over giving smithers an episode to come out

So naturally with this long a lead time I was curious how they did it and enjoyed the results. After a skydiving experince where Smithers narrowly saves his boss, Smithers finally decides to confess.. only for Burns to largely ignore it, admitting smithers means almost nothign to him and due to a lot of smithers work going unoticed, not apprciating him. It’s utterly crushing.. but also exactly what we all figured would happen and leaves the poor guy a mess.. and taking it out on homer, lenny and carly which i’d feel worse about if they wen’t bowling with nuclear rods when he found them. 

Still Homer needs to get smithers laid so he can get back to half assing his job. So he enlists Marge and Moe to help.. and given moe just not so subtly hits on marge then goes behind a peephole to watch it’s mostly on marge. To homer’s credit he’s an excellent wing man and while he has trouble picking one, including a cameo by George Freaking Takei, a small feat at this poitn for the simpsons but still hilarous, he decides to throw a party.

This dosen’t work as Smithers is still bitterly unreceiptive to anyone but the shirvled old man he’s obessed over, until Julio come by. Julio is a flamboyant hairdresser played by Hank Azaria who debuted in another gay simpsons episode I may take a look at some time, Three Gays of Condo where .. Homer moves in with a bunch of gay men in a condo. Also it has Weird Al in it so I automatically am intrested. 

Julio manages to get Waylon to loosen up and does what Burns coudn’t.. treat him like a human beings while it turns out burns really can’t function without smithers

Yeah this runs into HOmer the Smithers a bit, with Burns once again realizing he’s helpless without smithers though here it’s more him realizing he NEEDS his assitant more than becoming so self reliant he dosen’t. Still feels a bit samey though even with the changes. 

So as you can expect to uphold the status quo, Smithers misses burns, finding Julio TOO self assured and not needing him and not being over Monty yet.. which is fair he got rejected like.. a week at most before dating Julio. Tha’ts way too fast. Burns likewise can’t get a good replacement, with Lindsay Nagle being the only one we see but also hilaroius as she refuses to “release the hounds” as she’d be liable, explaning how the hell burns gets away with that besids his army of lawyers, and finding the whole operation illegal. The hound releasing guy dosen’t even get health care and he’s head of HR.

In the end the two reunite, and it’s geninely sweet: While smithers excepts on some level Burns dosen’t love him Burns gives him his performance review instead of a bribe: Excellent. It still feels a bit abrubt and dosen’t really resolve anything but it’s simpsons. If a change would dramatically alter one of the key dymanics of the sohw and you know, force them to really vary things up.. they ain’t doing it. Still it’s not a bad episode but I feel like i’m.. forgetting something. 

This is the only one of the episodes with a subplot... and said subplot is completely disconnected from the main one. And Subpltos aren’t inehrently bad.. but this one has zero connection to the main plot with even the flimsy button connecting them at the end feeling entirely out of left field. It’s also just.. bad.  The plot is that Springfield Elementary is doing a production of casablanca, which I would be on board with given their track record with these

But it’s  plot is pure sigh: Lisa gets the lead roll as Illsa, so Milhouse wants to be rick to get closer to her but gets upstaged by a.. humphrey bogart impersonating elemntary schooler?

I.. I have no idea why they decided this was funny or why anyone wanted this. He ends up searching for gold with Moe in the epilogue so.. yeah? 

But the episode just.. paints milhouse in a bad line as he wines about this even though lisa has made it clear like.. 80 dozen times at this point she’s not intrested, and even in alternate futures where they DO end up together for a bit she never seems that enthused to be with him. So as much as I love a good romance plot... move on man. Just move on. I’m not invested in him sabotaging some other if intensely weird and entirely one shot kid> Their not going to get them together and LIsa is no more intrested when they do act together as Milhouse is terrible. This is just a time sink of a subplot and only is redeemed by it’s batshit ending homaging one of bogart’s movies which features.. moe getting hung? wha? and this

I’m not giving you any context, moving on

                                  Portrait of A Lackey on Fire (Season 33) 

So we’re to the latest season and this ep got a lot of buzz as smithers finallyg ot a proper love intrest... again for one episode. That being said it wasn’t bad and it still has a leg up over the burns cage as while it treads some of the same ground it’s more creative with HOW it does it. Both why the relationship dosen’t work out and what gets this started feels a bit more organic. There’s also no stupid Milhouse subplot that makes me hate a boy that does this on a nightly basis

You monsters. Anyways this one also has a great idea for a start: One of Burns hounds gives birth and he plans to give the various puppies off to his rich friends for perks. Apparently he’s given up the vest thing. Smithers wants to at least try to raise one and let it be a dog instead of a killing machine but is turned down and once again Burns lack of opinon of him breaks the poor guy. This time though HOmer helps out not to get out of actually doing work but for better reasons: He’s been helping out training the puppies (with them hanging off him at all times on work as they bite into him), and finds Smithers in one of the cages whimpering at his state and decides to wing man. 

He can’t really find anyone, which leads to two cameos; We breifly see john which is good.. and see Disco Stu who is shrugged off as being “hetero curious”... which comes off as biphobic and panphobic as heck. I don’t think it was intetnional much like the issues with the first two eps.. but unlike those eps they have less reason to make these blunders and more reason to fire someone for them. It’s been 25 years since homers phobia and around 17 since There’s Something About Marrying. Back then I could get some clueless white writers fumbling over a thing or two , even if it was less than great. Here you can google this shit or at least show an actual bi character to ballance it out. I do get there are some people who questoin and ultimate decide their straight.. but putting it in a dating app setting makes it come off as if liking both genders is just a stop on the way to one or the other, which it isn’t. I sohudln’t have to say this but this episode from LAST FUCKING YEAR thinks so and dind’t bother to think this through. It’s why i’m harder on it: We’ve HAD bi characters in animation. We just had THIS happen with one not a few weeks ago and just a few months after this episode

And in the same year of this Tuca and Bertie portrayed her as bi beautifully and also had a heartbreakingly toxic lesbian romance. We’ve evolved past this shit. You CAN do better. You can hire or consult an actual gay or bi person. You have the technology

The rest of the ep isn’t bad though as the last of the millionares, picking up a softer kinder hound, is Micheal DeGaaf, a fashoin deisgner and tim gun style reality star played by Victor Garber. He seems to be everything Monty isn’t, kind, empathetic and into hima nd the two quickly bond and then make out, and smithers even goes off to the riveira. 

We also get great marge and homer stuff: Homer is in full happy shipper on deck mode, while Marge is not only on board, and has to keep chasing homer for details because his attention span is not the best, but a huge fan of MIcheal.. though she has to go to the smithers himself to get an actual meeting which goes well with DeGaaf even planning to open up shop in springfield. We also get a shockingly good fidget spinners joke as the facotry he’s using used to be for them.. which would be just “meh” if it weren’t for Chalmers saying “Spinners?!” right after. is it stupid? yes. Is it not the cleverest joke. Yup. Did I still laugh more than I should’ve with no shame? absolutley. 

Naturally though so the status quo can be stuck to, turns out DeGraaf isn’t a great guy and his factory produces tons of polution ont he workers.. aka barney, kirk and old gil, who naturally gets the worst of it. Smithers can’t accept it till he goes to burns fo radvice. And it is hilarious that Burns can’t get it in his head waylon is gay but is fully on board with the relationship anyway and in awe of how much the man polutes. Waylon ends up giving it up but keeps the puppy so he’s at least not alone and said pic blows up his dating profile

This ep is fine, it also features a chernobyl homage that while I didn’t get the refrence fully having not watched it, it was still  fucking funny applying to a clothing factory and there are some clever jokes. And also “Spinners?” which somehow works, don’t ask me how. 

So yeah two classics, a shockingly forgetable ep and a pretty okay one. Not a bad spread and it at least to me shows off simpsons as a whole , spanning a few diffrent eras.. and okay two of th esame but Kev was curious about Waylon’s actual coming out, as wasf I hence it being the only four pack

Next Time: Unluckliy, it’s a family guy as we get two well inetntiond attempts.. and Quagmire’s Dad

Until then join my patreon to help support this blog, consider kicking in for a comissoin and i’ll see you next time

[all-aboard-thy-vessel]

Why are your opinions on:

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282

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. THIS'LL TAKE A MINUTE. ENJOY A LONGER POST.

02 - QUIET BUT COULD BE PROMISING IF IT PUSHED ITSELF MORE.

04 - HAS SURPRISED ME. I COULD SEE THEM GROWING DURING THESE GAMES, I WOULD LIKE TO SEE IT.

05 - ONCE PITIFUL, BUT ENTERTAINING TO SCARE. HAS A UNIQUE TYPE OF POTENTIAL. I WANT TO UNLEASH IT.

06 - VERY NEW, SO I CAN'T HAVE A FULL OPINION. INTERESTING, HOWEVER. I CAN'T WAIT TO GET HER ON THE BOAT.

10 - HAS BEEN TOO QUIET FOR ME TO FORM AN OPINION.

11 - A CURIOUS SORT, I SUPPOSE. 11 HAS BEEN ENJOYABLE SO FAR.

15 - LIKE I SAID BEFORE. DUMB BUT HARMLESS. WE'LL SEE HOW OR IF THAT CHANGES.

16 - CONTINUES TO SURPRISE ME EVERY TIME I SEE HIM.

18 - TOO NEW TO FORM AN OPINION.

21 - :).

23 - QUIET. ONE OF THE ONES TO SEE IF HE FLOURISHES WHEN ON THE BOAT.

25 - I HAVE NO OPINION.

28 - POTENTIAL IS BREWING.

29 - HAS BEEN MOSTLY QUIET EVER SINCE UNVIELING A CERTAIN SECRET. SHAME. I WONDER IF I CHASED THEM OFF.

30 - HAS BEEN TOO QUIET FOR ME TO FORM AN OPINION.

45 - GOOD. ONE OF THE RARE FEW.

46 - :D. TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK...

47 - COULD BE INTERESTING, IF HE TALKED MORE.

51 - HAD POTENTIAL, RUINED IT. AGAIN, WE'LL SEE WHAT HE DOES FROM HERE. MY OPINION CHANGED RATHER RAPIDLY ON THIS ONE. SHAME.

60 - I HAVE NO OPINION.

63 - HAD AN INTERESTING START ON TUMBLR. IF ONLY THEY TALKED MORE.

64 - THE BETTER TWIN.

71 - A CURIOUS BLEND, THIS ONE. I WANT TO PUT HIM AT THE HEART OF MY TRIALS AND SEE IF HE COULD STAND IT AND COME OUT UNSTAINED.

78 - FAR TOO NEW TO FORM AN OPINON.

80 - ANNOYING. MAYBE HE'LL BE MORE THAN JUST THAT, AS WE PROGRESS.

83 - INTERESTING. I SEE A PATH FOR THEM AND WILL ENSURE THEY TAKES IT, THOUGH I HAVE FAITH HE WILL HIMSELF.

92 - NAIVE. MANY START NAIVE, IT'S WHERE THEY GO FROM THERE I WANT TO SEE..

100 - ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. WITH THEIR APPLICATION, THIS COULD BE GOOD OR BAD. WE'LL WAIT TO SEE.

105 - SAME AS 29'S.

120 - UNIQUE, WITH SOME UNEXPECTED LAYERS. A GOOD RABBT IN THEIR OWN RIGHT.

122 - I FIND THEIR RELATIONSHIP FUNNY. I WANT TO SEE MORE OF THEM AS AN INDIVIDUAL.

154 - PENDING.. PENDING.. PENDING.. :)

177 - PRETTY. HAS DONE SOME THINGS I DIDN'T EXPECT FROM THIS ONE.. 177 HAS MORE UNDER THE SURFACE THAN APPEARS.

198 - QUIET, BUT I WANT IT TO CHANGE. 198 COULD BE SOMETHING, OR SHOULD TRY TO BE SOMETHING.

244 - INITITALLY FUCKING ANNOYING. BUT HE HAS SHOWN THE POTENTIAL AND ABILITY TO GROWN SINCE, AND HAS. HE HAS POTENTIAL.

259 - THINKS HE IS BOLDER THAN HE IS, BUT THAT IS TO BE EXPCTED GIVEN HIS CIRCUMSTANCES. GIVEN THE WAY HE IS DEVELOPING, HE COULD BE QUITE TERRIBLE. :)

282 - TOO QUIET TO FORM AN OPINION.