#my game will start lagging badly after just playing for a little bit

[aggressive-almond-cookie]

I know how cheesy this sounds but lord sometimes the gimmick really is just believing in yourself.

I feel like I have said this to myself and relearned this lesson so many times but lord do I keep peeling back layers and layers of it.

I have struggled, more than anything in this game, with basic mechanical control of my character. I have understood, repeated that mechanical control (jumping exactly where I intend to jump, moving exactly where I intend to move) is one of my weakest areas of this game. It's why the first part of After Alterna was the part that stalled me out so badly and it's why I generally just underperform compared to most of my teammates.

I even set out to correct this. I set myself a goal of learning how to complete Deadly Dance Hall perfectly, getting all the power eggs along the way. And every day I practiced this.

I made very little progress. It all felt so random and like I wasn't improving. A couple times I did actually luck through into finishing it, but it was always a struggle and I would just kind of mindlessly grind it over and over, usually dying in the same ways around the same time.

A couple days ago I was rambling to a teammate after a just barely-failed salmon run shift that I feel like the core of why I'm doing poorly on paper all the time (I nearly always have the fewest golden eggs and power eggs) is that I've never had the mechanical ability that other people seem to have. I jump to the wrong places, I fall in the water all the time, I aim erratically, and I don't know if I have the worst luck with egg lag in the world or what but it feels like I can swim through four golden eggs on the regular and somehow still fail to pick one up.

I spent some time in this frustrated little pity-party about how demoralizing it's been my entire life being the weakest link in any game I play with my friends and so on. And I don't even know what happened, but somewhere in the middle of my whining it re-occurred to me that there isn't some mechanical control superpower that everyone has except me. There's no reason I shouldn't be able to systematically train this.

And like, I had been training this, in theory, in Deadly Dance Hall, to little avail, but it occurred to me that I hadn't really been trying. So I went back in there, and got a perfect clear on the second try. And then I did it again.

And suddenly it feels strangely easy to do. I don't get it every try but I get it at a much higher rate and more importantly I actually feel like I have way more control over where I land.

You can't teach someone this. I don't know how I learned it, but suddenly it started working.

Here's what I think is happening-- (I think this because months ago I realized a similar thing about my confidence in aiming.) I commit fully to an action and then don't change course. I know some time after committing that I am going to fail but I make no effort to control my way out of it. Even though I have several fractions of a second to move around slightly so I land in the different place, to move my reticle a bit further to the left, to perform a quick squid roll off the wall I realize I shouldn't be climbing. I don't change what I am doing because I simply on some unconscious level I don't believe that I have enough time, I don't believe that any attempt to course-correct will have any effect. I accept that I made a poor choice and have to live with it, but the information I needed to make the correct choice became clear after the choice had already been made, leading to a feeling of hopelessness, a feeling of 'I really don't know what I could have done differently,' a feeling of frustration over my lack of skill because I was expecting myself to know exactly where to jump based on information that I would only have (or at least would become much more clear) once I was in the air. I would instead make a choice, commit to it, and decide 'well there's nothing I can do now' when there was actually plenty that I could do. Changing direction mid-action is scary and stressful, because you have less time to think about what to do and if it is the right thing to do and it's more comfortable to surrender to whatever your past self did and let the chips fall where they may, but it actually isn't too late-- you actually can change course, and if you get used to changing course often enough, you eventually learn what works and what doesn't. But first you have to believe that you have that agency. You have to believe it's actually worth trying or you won't try it. And this is all happening in such small fractions of seconds that these are all decisions you're making practically subconsciously without realizing what's actually happening, so it's sort of something you have to... deal with the underlying cause of in a unconscious way.

I dunno. I'm overthinking it probably, and maybe I'm way off, but at the end of the day I think I'm seeing improvement, and it'll be interesting to see if this radiates out to other aspects of my play.

[lifeattomsdiner]

NEX Collective: how it started vs. how it’s going

This was a rough beginning; very quickly after the game started I found myself boxed in by a superior foe (the empires to my north and southeast are a bulwark subordinate and its overlord, respectively).  Nor did my neighbors--pissed off after my completely innocent curiosity lead me to try and abduct some of their citizens for analysis--hesitate to throw their weight around and put me in my place.  I quickly found myself on the back foot in a series of two defensive wars.  I barely managed to hang on through the course of the first but the Azantians tired themselves out before they could eradicate me.  A burgeoning intelligence network (cybernetic infiltrators, anybody?) alerted me that the second one was coming in time that I was able to prepare a rapid advance into enemy territory.  The very stupid combat AI natural inefficiencies of my organic foes wasn’t able to respond to this effectively, and I was able to penetrate all the way to some of their core worlds and abduct some of their population for assimilation.  This wore out their fighting spirit enough that they ended the war soon after; I even returned some of the territory I had captured afterwards (I have little interest in keeping systems that would be a pain to defend effectively, so I withdrew my control back to a natural chokepoint).

This still left me boxed in and badly outclassed--I was lagging behind my enemies technologically and in raw force of arms, with only my absurd resource production output evening the score.  Fortunately for me, the organic species of this galaxy are fractious and prone to constant squabbling amongst themselves.  I waited, patiently building up my defenses and my fleets, until the Azantians were distracted with wars elsewhere and I was free to press north into their Ekwynian subordinates.  Two sequential invasions quickly netted a healthy chunk of territory, including a significant number of planets complete with populations to assimilate; meanwhile the Azantians made aggressive noises in my direction, but remained distracted with their squabbles elsewhere (not knowing that I had my mechanical hand in stoking those as well).

So here I am, just shy of 130 years in, slowly clawing my way out of the box.  Will I be able to hit critical mass and become powerful enough to challenge my main rival* before they decide to destroy me?  We’ll just have to see.  For the moment, though, my focus is on consolidating my gains and bringing some measure of order to the worlds I just assimilated...

*Speaking of rivals, a fun bit of emergent roleplaying: naturally these other empires quickly declared me their rival.  I considered responding in kind, but between innate bonuses, the size of the fleets I needed to maintain to keep up, and a lack of diplomatic agreements to keep up, I was generating a pretty absurd amount of Influence already--as much as 6-7 per month.  So I chose to play the role of an amused networked intelligence, looking on at this quaint organic notion of “rivalry”...

[missizzy]

A Game Novice's Baldur's Gate Log, 78 1/2 Hours In: I got rid of my lag! Mostly

Masterpost

(Note: this will definitely contain spoilers for all I've played through, and probably quite of a bit of the later stuff I've also seen.)

Patch 7 may not actually have come out, but early this week, my game somehow reset its settings. I had to agree to the TOS again, the tutorial instructions started popping up again, and also it reset graphic settings to the highest quality. They were beautiful. They also made the lag worse than ever, and made the crashing when I go to camp happen almost every time. And even when I did get there, Halsin and Volo were both missing, and when the former's arc is now just kicking in.

But now having the certainty that the lag is indeed affected by said settings, and doing a bit more research, I finally did what I probably should've done ages ago, and set all the graphics to low. It hasn't gotten rid of the lag completely, but it's made it much less noticeable. It might not be the finest view, but it's still not at all bad. I feel like I can play a little more normally now.

Last week ended with my still needing to deal with Dolly x3. I had watched one streamer go all the way through the scene with her in the lantern-and not free her. So I was a little anxious when Sara could only get her to agree to help them "duly," dangerously ambiguous for a fae. But ultimately, there was no way she wouldn't free her, especially not after Karlach urged her to. Thankfully her blessing seems to be working quite well so far.

First order of business after that was getting the infernal iron, and so we headed into the mason's guild, which I had already located, but of course couldn't get into on only torch and dancing lights. We wandered through its rooms, looking into every box and barrel I saw, wandered down to the basement, and had one scary moment when Sara got trapped between the portcullises and misty stepped out, but I briefly thought I'd teleported her the wrong way, couldn't misty step again, and realized I hadn't saved since resuming. Thankfully I'd just gotten confused, and I had taken her the right way. When, after that, we went back upstairs and I finally spotted the iron sitting right there on the table, I gratefully grabbed it and waypointed back to the inn.

Then, of course, came the next scene with Dammon, and sharing a very laggy but still very sweet hug with Karlach once he'd done his work. Then he dropped the bad news on us. Poor Sara very badly wants Karlach to live, but she's never going to truly push her towards returning to Avernus to do so. She ultimately tabled the conversation, and right now is telling herself they'll find another way to save her. I don't know what she's going to do when she's finally forced to face that there isn't one.

I wasn't quite sure what to do after that, so I took the party out to explore the Shadow-Cursed lands further, waiting to see if I ran into Moonrise Towers, or the House of Healing, since I knew about its existence. Instead I ran into a haunted house, He Who Was, whose person and attitude towards trying the dead creeped Sara the fuck out, and then enough shadow and shadow-cursed beings that fighting them got us up to level 7. I saved right after leveling up, so when the next fight didn't go quite so well, I just exited without saving, planning to instead go back to camp, come back with Wyll and Karlach swapped out for Astarion and Shadowheart, because I was pretty sure they both had story beats coming up, and try it again then.

Except that this was when my game reset, and when I finally got to camp two crashes later, the lack of Halsin there alarmed me. I went to look up if maybe he'd teleported to the inn on his own, and then learned that I really should've gone into rightward room on the bottom floor. Disoriented further by an evening conversation where Astarion seemed to believe, contrary to all observation, that Sara might have some ambition for power in her, I went back to the inn again the next day without even doing the character swap, which I was glad for when Counselor Florrick turned out to be there. Although it did come off as kind of weird that she was suddenly there, so soon after the Duke was kidnapped from a different inn. I suppose it might've felt less so if that whole sequence had happened earlier, as the gamemakers must've intended.

I was also glad to have Karlach there when she told us about Lord Gortash, and his Steel Watch. When Florrick warned Sara they might not be able to come help, she definitely secretly hoped they wouldn't. I was even tempted to have her promise Karlach they'd take revenge on Gortash, but I don't think she's quite yet ready to commit to going after someone that powerful. But meanwhile, we also got a look at Art Cullagh, and were promptly asked to go tell Halsin about it, which meant needing to be able to talk to him at camp. I saved, tried to go back there again, had the game crash again, and went off to do my research.

I finally got there after changing the settings, although I'm still wondering why going to camp while being in the inn sent us back to one of our Act I camps. At least Halsin was there-until I told him the news, and he promptly told us to meet him at the inn and blinked out of existence. I did my planned character swap before following him back. I wasn't sure about even having Shadowheart in the inn, but just being there didn't cause her to make any trouble. We stayed there long enough to look at Cullagh again with Halsin, and get directed to go to the House of Healing, the location of which was then helpfully added to our map.

En route to it, we first battled another set of shadow-cursed beings, and got to view brief arcane recordings about Sharran oppression that I suppose Shadowheart is probably going to ignore. But having her when we found Arabella did trigger a cut scene, and I was very glad to be rid of the lag as I for the first time I got to watch the flashback of her being found by Shar's supporters and supposedly saved from a great wolf I suspect they actually set on her. Sara might come to suspect it too, but right now, I think she's still processing everything.

We entered the hospital through the children's ward, which meant we found Arabella's dead parents minutes after talking with her. I knew already they were dead, but the quickness of it made it feel much sadder. By the time we reached the receptionist, we had also learned how terrible a person the master surgeon had been even in life. I amused myself by having Sara throw a barbarian tantrum when told to wait in the non-existent line, which got us into the surgery theatre, where I conversed with him and the nurses until I got bored, and they seemed ready to do terrible things to us, so I attacked.

I would say this was the first battle where I kind of shifted tactics partway through it, when it became clear I'd need more firepower to take the surgeon down. Although we managed to do so without him performing any surgery during the combat, which is actually my first official uncommon achievement in this game. Shadowheart went down at one point, and I wondered if being killed by these followers of Shar might have an impact on her after we brought her back, but ultimately we managed to get her back up first.

We looted the lute off the surgeon, but I was aware that bringing it back to the inn would ultimately lead us a certain battle I wanted to be long rested for, so I decided to end the day with a little more exploring. First I just took us out of the hospital, and while attempted to avoid another shadow-cursed group, we got ambushed by Githyanki, and once again I was forced to reload, when I hadn't saved since finishing the battle with the surgeon and nurses. Not wanting to deal with them again, I instead explored the hospital a little more, exited off the roof, and came to the Grand Mausoleum.

When Raphael showed up at the entrance, and told us about his very dangerous enemy, he may have talked about how he wouldn't try to persuade us from striding in there anyway. But his warning probably would've actually put Sara off going in, if Astarion hadn't then decided to make his deal with the devil, and she pretty much let him. So now we're committed to going in and killing an orthon, but that definitely sounds like another thing we should do after long resting. I'm not sure I won't wait to do it until after Moonrise Towers, especially since we got the hint the Gauntlet of Shar is also in the area, and that's probably the last thing in Act II I'm going to do.

A little further wandering around brought to the area of the Githyanki and shadow-cursed groups again, and this time we got hit by the latter while trying to avoid the former. That fight proved easier, but still drained us enough to call it a day and go back to camp. Sara, still her blunt honest self, told Arabella her parents were dead immediately, and for the second day in a row, she had an angry Tiefling child refusing to believe her, and no idea what she's going to do about that.

I've left off there, and am still a little unnerved that Halsin was not at camp that night either, though Volo was. Near the empty tent that I *think* is Halsin's, so I'm really hoping he's just overnighting at the inn, and that he will return in time to become an official companion, since I know that's about to happen, too.

[hypfic]

Ikebukuro Otome 109: Ch. 3 First Meeting [pt. 2]

“Alright! That should be the last of ‘em!” You wiped sweat from your brow after placing down the last of your boxes. “I think we deserve a break, can I get you something to drink? Water? Tea? I bought some Caplico yesterday at the dollar store.”

“Tea sounds great, thanks y/n,” Ichiro grinned from the couch, pushing some of his bangs up out of his face. You told yourself not to stare from over the counter. 

After pouring two cups of cold tea, you walked back to the living room and handed Ichiro a glass before sitting on the opposite side of the sofa. The two of you sat in an awkward silence as you sipped your drinks, avoiding each other's eyes. 

“So uh,” Ichiro cleared his throat, “Do you want to start unpacking some of your boxes? Or would you want to go out and grab some lunch and walk around for a bit?”

You choked a bit on your drink, swallowing hard before placing the cup in your lap. “Sorry,” you chuckled embarrassedly, “But yea, I’m starving! I don’t know much around here though… I guess that’s why I have an expert here with me, huh?” You gave Ichiro a smile. 

“That is what I’m here for I guess,” he laughed along with you, a hint of pink clouding at the top of his ears, Ichiro prayed that you didn’t notice. You did. 

“Alrighty then! I just need to go grab a sweatshirt out of one of my boxes of clothes…. I’ll be right back! Don’t go anywhere!” You decided to shove the image of Ichiro’s blushing ears out of your mind. It was probably only because the two of you had been sweating by moving boxes around all day… yeah.

You close the door to your bedroom and pressed your back against it, smacking your blushing cheeks with your palms. Pull it together! God, what was this? A shoujo manga? No, this was real life, not some Otome game… Ugh, curse Ramuda for setting this all up!  You sighed and walked over to one of the boxes on the bed and fished out a random sweatshirt from the bottom. Without looking, you pulled it on over your head and hurried out of the bedroom. 

“Ok! Ready to go!” You chirped enthusiastically, grabbing your bag from behind the couch, freezing when you looked over and saw Ichiro grinning. “U-Uh… is there something on my face?”

“No, no, I was just admiring your Godzilla sweatshirt. You didn’t strike me as a fan, that’s all.”

“What? I work in video games, you didn’t expect me to be into giant fighting monsters? Gimme a break!” You teased, hoping that your confident attitude would hide your blushing face. 

“Well, I guess that’s true,” Ichiro pondered, “Are you a serious fan or just here for the aesthetic?”

“Bold of you to assume I would be simply swayed by pure aesthetics. I may work in design but I happen to be full of surprises. One of those happens to be my love for giant sea-lizards….” Might as well shoot out an embarrassing fact since you already exposed yourself with your clothing choice. “I have every movie on DVD, limited editions too…”

“I see you’re a woman of culture as well,” He chuckled, “You’ll have to show me your archives sometime, I’m impressed!”

You had to concentrate hard not to blush. “Sure! Not today though, I gotta make sure you wanna come back and see me.” 

“Hmm, I’m surprised you thought that would be an issue. I wasn’t planning on helping you move in and then leave you in the dust, no need to worry. We could have a marathon sometime!” Ichiro paused, “Ah, maybe that was a little forward… I’m just excited to have someone besides my brothers that’s interested in the same things.”

“No you’re fine! That sounds like a great plan! Uhm, but for now I’m hungry. I think I could eat an entire barbeque!” 

“Well, lucky for you I know a great spot for that!” He shot up from the couch, “It’s not that far from here, actually. I think it’s a five minute walk?” Ichiro pulled out his phone to check.

You peeked around his shoulder as he showed his phone to you, “Damn, not bad at all!” 

                                                          ——

The conversation between you and Ichiro didn’t lag as the two of you had lunch together. From the walk to the restaurant and throughout your meal, there wasn’t a dull moment. You and Ichiro seemed to have a lot in common. While he was a bit timid to admit it at first, he never really was a super social person. He used to be involved in some pretty bad stuff as a kid, so he never really had a normal, friend-filled childhood. The only two people he had as a constant were his two younger brothers and his teammates, Jiro and Saburo. Ichiro didn’t elaborate on it much, but he briefly mentioned his start in rapping and his road to where he was now. In turn, you shared your story. It was nowhere near as impressive or elaborate as the other’s, but you shared nonetheless. The two of you discussed favorite niches, anime, and games to which you shared similar tastes. You asked about his music and he asked about your designs. It was nice to just… talk to someone about what you liked and have them be interested. Ichiro also talked a lot about his brothers, proudly showing you photos of them and laughing while sharing stories. You didn’t have any siblings of your own, so it was nice to see what that life was like. By the time lunch was finished, the two of you had stayed in the restaurant till their four-o-clock closing time. Neither of you realised. You were too busy laughing to tears and enjoying yourself. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so… happy to talk to someone. Sure you always had Ramuda to lean on and chill with, his teammates too, but there was some sort of barrier there between them. With Ichiro… that barrier didn’t seem to exist. You pondered on that realisation as the two of you walked back to your apartment. Maybe it was the similar interests? The closeness in age? No, it couldn’t be the age, Ramuda and his posse weren’t too much older. Whatever it was, the two of you just… clicked. 

The two of you continued talking as you entered the elevator up to your third story apartment. You so badly wanted to reach over and push all the buttons so you could spend more time talking with him. It was getting to be well into the evening and you knew he had a family to get back to. You stopped in front of your apartment door and turned to him. 

“Thanks for all your help today, Ichiro-sa– Ichiro. I really appreciate it,” You said with a smile and a slight bow. “I would invite you in for dinner but…. I haven’t gotten any actual groceries and your brothers are probably waiting at home for you. Some other time maybe?”

“That would be awesome! Maybe we could uh watch some of your Godzilla collection too?” He smiled bashfully. 

You nodded enthusiastically. “That sounds like a perfect plan!” Your heart was pounding in your chest. 

Ichiro’s phone rang and he sighed, “That’s my queue to get home,” he sent the call to voicemail and returned it to his pocket. “It was great getting to know you today, text me and we can plan something soon,”  He waved with a grin as he turned on his heel and walked down the hall. 

After he was out of sight, you let yourself into the apartment and slid down against the door. You placed your head in your hands and screamed softly. This was bad, you couldn’t be falling for someone so easily. 

Ramuda totally knew that this would happen. That bastard. He was setting you up! He always liked to try playing Cupid with you. Ohhh you were going to kill that little pink man. 

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[novanekoma]

I miss you

pt 2: here

 ☼ I miss you

☼ tetsuro kuroo x reader

☼ song: Betty by Taylor Swift

☼ summary: main lyric of inspiration: I’m only seventeen, I don’t know anything, but I know I miss you

☼ status: ongoing, maybe? I have an idea of doing one from the reader’s pov, if anyone is interested

☼ genre: angst, teenage love,

☼ warnings: mentions of cheating, cursing, some slight suggestive themes, hints of cliché moments 

☼ word count: 3.1k

☼ disclaimer: haikyuu, the music and any other assets used in this fic, DO NOT belong to me, all credit goes to their respective owners

☼ A/N: So… as I was working on finishing the first part of always you, taylor swift released a new surprise album and I cannot get the song betty out of my head! it just squeezes my heart and is absolutely breathtaking. Especially when I found out that cardigan and august are linked to this song, I immediately got an idea for this fic and I was going back and forth between whether I wanted to write it about bakugo or kuroo, but in the end my main squeeze kuroo won. I hope if you take a chance and read this, that you enjoy it!

Also thank you to all the new followers! I appreciate everyone who has liked and reblogged always you ☼ I will have the first part up soon!

© novanekoma 2020

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

"God y/n, I don't know how it happened I- I-"

"Kuroo-"

"Please, you have to know I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry."

"I know you are, but right now, in this moment, it's just not enough."

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

           betty, I won’t make assumptions            about why you switched your homeroom, but            I think it’s cause of me

            Kuroo let out a small sigh, the ticking clock of the classroom echoing louder in his ears as each minute passed. The teacher droned on about something that he couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to, he was passing with flying colours anyway. Instead, his focus was on the empty desk by the window a row in front of him. A newly empty desk, one that had previously been filled by a certain someone. A memory of you sitting there, turning back to smile at him during class flashed in his mind.

            His hand slipped into his pocket to bring out the photo that had been by his side for the last couple months. The photo was slightly withered, his index finger moving to play with the crease forming at the bottom of the polaroid. A little caption scrawled underneath in your handwriting,  July 13th kuroo x y/n; you with an elated smile across your face as he pressed into your side, an arm thrown around your shoulder as he leaned in and gave you a sweet kiss on the cheek. He remembered the way you giggled and the pretty red blush that spread across your cheeks as he stole more kisses from you that day.

          betty, one time I was riding on my skateboard          when I passed your house            it’s like I couldn’t breathe

           The bell was what broke him from his thoughts, the piercing shriek that indicated that class was over, and thankfully so was the school day. Kuroo quickly packed up his things, carefully placing the photo back into his pocket, before slinging his bag over his shoulder. He tried to leave the class as quick as possible, being one of the first out of the classroom- and his breath caught in his throat once he made it into the hallway. His eyes quickly spotted you coming out of your new classroom, naturally being drawn to where you were. You were laughing at something one of your friends was saying as you exited the classroom, completely missing him, or ignoring him, as you continued down the hallway.

           you heard the rumors from Inez            you can’t believe a word she says           most times, but this time it was true           the worst thing that I ever did           was what I did to you

           His heart clenched as his eyes followed you, memories of you walking down that same hallway with your hand entwined with his as you planned your weekend together flashed through his mind, the little dimples on the apples of your cheeks deepening as you smiled at him was the image he was stuck on as you disappeared around the corner.

           Coming around that same corner was her, memories of secret meetings and tangled bedsheets bubbled up, God what an idiot he had been. He shook his head, hand clenched in anger as he thought back to where it all went wrong. Kuroo quickly turned on his heel before she noticed him and made a break for the gym where volleyball practice was being held.

           Shouts of, “Kuroo!” echoed as he walked into the gym, his team already beginning to warm up as he made his way toward the change rooms. He used to love this place, being here and practicing new plays with the team, but the gym was also where you two went to steal a moment alone together. Memories of stolen kisses and make out sessions locked in the storage room, sweet words and laughter rang through his mind as a familiar warmth that always came with thoughts of you spread through his very soul.

           betty, I know where it all went wrong            your favourite song was playing            I was nowhere to be found            I hate the crowds, you know that            plus, I saw you dance with him

           The memory that hit him the hardest was the moment he almost let you slip away, it happened here in the gym during one of the Nekoma vs. Karasuno practice games where their captain Daichi, started flirting with you. He could recall the exact moment he saw you two together, you were collecting a stray nekoma ball when Daichi caught your attention. Kuroo remembered the way he tensed when he saw the dimpled smile that was usually reserved for him being used on the brunette male as he made you laugh and stood closer to you than Kuroo was comfortable with. Kuroo ran a hand down his face, letting out a deep breath as he shoved open the door to the locker room.

           Tying his volleyball shoes up in the change room was Kenma, his best friend, who was surprisingly on time for practice. As Kuroo got ready for practice, the tactical pudding head scrutinized his best friend.

           “You’re still thinking about y/n.”

           It wasn’t a question, Kenma could already see it in Kuroo’s eyes. He knew his best friend like the back of his hand and there was a hidden anguish in Kuroo’s calculating gaze. The darker haired boy didn’t say anything, which only confirmed the blonde’s statement.

           Kenma sighed, blonde hair falling over his face as he stood, “You fucked up.”

           The older boy harshly put his gym shirt on as a glare was sent Kenma’s way, “I think I fucking know that,” Kuroo spit, not meaning to get so angry with his friend, but god he knew, he fucking knew how much he messed up. Every time he thought about it, all he wanted to do was rip his hair out in the frustration that came along with it.

           There was a moment of silence as the two stared at one another.

           “Now that you’ve processed it, what are you going to do about it?”

           Kuroo sighed, plopping down on one of the benches, his head falling back and hitting the wall behind him as his eyes closed.

           “What the fuck can I do? y/n won’t even look at me, let alone talk to me,” he muttered. Not that he could blame you, if the roles were reversed… he moved an arm to cover his eyes as his heart clenched again. He would not let the tears out here, not before he had to run practice.

           Kuroo felt movement beside him and looked only to confirm that Kenma came to sit next to him.

           “You fucked up, badly, but that doesn’t make you a bad person.”

           Kuroo laughed scathingly, “Then what kind of person does that make me?” he muttered sarcastically.

           “One that made a mistake,” Kenma started, “One that’s sorry. One that has learned from his huge fuck up, but is about to let the best thing that’s ever happened to him slip away because he's not willing to fight for them.”

           Kuroo didn’t answer, not willing to fight? After what I did, I don’t deserve to.

           Another beat of silence.

           “You know, y/n is throwing a party for all the third years, one last welcome back party since you’re all graduating. ”

           Kuroo peeked an eye out, but all he saw was the blonde boy leaving the change room.

           but if I showed up at your party            would you have me? would you want me?            would you tell to go fuck myself            or lead me to the garden?

           in the garden, would you trust me            if I told you it was just a summer thing?            I’m only seventeen, I don’t know anything            but I know I miss you

           The scheming captains thought’s began to circulate, what if… god there were so many. He shook his head, composing himself before leaving the change room; he just missed you so fucking much.

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

           Lately, the walk home was always the worst for Kuroo, before you quit being the manager, (which he knew was his fault), this would be a walk you would take together. Kenma lagging behind as he usually did while playing a game as the two of you walked a little bit ahead, laughing and making jokes with one another as you walked hand in hand, stealing a kiss every so often as you paused to cross a street or wait for Kenma to catch up. The pure love and adoration that he would bask in, knowing you saw the same thing reflected in his own gaze.

           Of course, it had to be on this walk where things went wrong.

           I was walking home on broken cobblestones            just thinking of you when she pulled up like            a figment of my worst intention            she said “James, get in, let’s drive” those days turned into nights            slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long

           A different set of lips moving in synch with his, a different pair of hands roaming his form as they tumbled in her sheets. Never going too far, just far enough. Lithe fingers running through his dark hair, tugging on the long strands, moaning his name as he peppered kisses along her neck, the bite marks he left on her skin as she left angry red scratches down his back. The guilt of what he was doing to you pushed further into his mind as she kissed down his chest, leaving her own marks to claim him as hers, even though he belonged to you.

           As he lay on his bed, Kuroo roughly wiped the tears that fell from his eyes. The picture of the two of you clutched to his chest as he stared up at the ceiling. Not stopping the thoughts that infiltrated his mind, the sinful things he did toher when he was supposed to be loving you. They tore it his heart bit by bit as he thought about all the times, each day he allowed himself to sink further into the betrayal. He was just as disgusted with himself now.

           Even with those thoughts, he fucking missed you. The memories he wanted to remember were the ones of you kissing his neck, pressing the sweetest kiss on the spot just under his ear, the one you knew drove him absolutely insane. His hands running down your form, memorizing every curve and dip of your body as you pressed closer to him, arms tightening around his neck as your lips moved in perfect chemistry. The way you would arch into him whenever he pressed a kiss to the center of your collarbone, leaving little love bites as he trailed the skin up to your neck

           Kuroo threw his arm over his eyes again, letting the tears slip out.

           He missed you so fucking much, he missed the way you laughed at his science jokes while you studied together, he missed the way you bit your lip in concentration as you tried to solve a problem and the way you would get so focused you barely processed what was happening around you. He missed the way you held out your hand from him whenever you walked somewhere together, the way your fingers fit perfectly with his. The way you turned red when you walked hand in hand to the gym for practice and the whole team would tease you, no matter how many times it happened. That pretty red blush spreading across your cheeks, your dimples deepening as you smiled up at him, only causing the teasing to get louder when he would lean down to kiss you, because you looked too damn cute not to.

           He missed the way you would cuddle up next to him as you watched movies, the reactions you had when certain scenes flashed across the screen. He missed how the two of you would play games together with Kenma, the way your brow furrowed whenever you tried to make a tarantula island, and the triumphant grin that graced your lips whenever you caught one, your eyes shining as they caught his, practically vibrating with happiness and excitement.

           He missed the way the two of you would just lay together, talking about everything and nothing all at once, you tucked into his side so perfectly as your hands lay together on his chest. Your head tucked under his neck as you talked about the future and all the thing you were going to be and do together. The way you kissed him sweetly and told him to get home safe, watching from your window until he disappeared down the street because you wanted to make sure he was okay walking home.

           A person who is going to let the best thing that’s ever happened to him slip away…  

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

           “You look fine.”  

           Kenma didn’t even look up as he continued to play a game on the switch, his dark eyes trained on the screen. Kuroo ran a hand through his hair, taking one last look in the mirror before looking at the blonde on his bed.

           Kuroo let out a breath, “I’m ready.”

           Was he really about to do this? Today was the day for the welcome back party, Yaku and Kai were already there. They sent text of encouragement and let him know there was a rumor going around that the Karasuno third years would also make an appearance.

           Kenma nodded his head, looking up from his game to meet Kuroo’s eyes, “Then get going.”

          betty, I’m here on your doorstep          and I planned it out for weeks now            but it’s finally sinkin’ in            betty, right now is the last time            I can dream about what happens when            you see my face again

           “Tetsu! Stop!” You were laughing as he brushed his fingers over your waist, tickling your sides and making tears of laughter stream down your face as you tried to push him off.

           “Sorry? Keep going? If you insist,” he teased, digging his hands into your sides even more, causing hysterical laughter to fall from your lips. Your stomach was hurting from laughing so much, your face pink with mirth as you reached up to place your hands on his chest in a weak attempt to push him off. The grin on his face matched yours and when you reached up and swiftly tugged his face forward, successfully stopping his tickling attempts in order to kiss the breath right out of you. Only for you to turn the tables and flip him onto his back.

           “I think I won that round,” you said, grinning proudly down at him as you straddled his waist, knees on either side of him.

           He laughed, “I don’t know kitten, from this position, I think I’m the real winner here,” moving his hands onto your waist and squeezing your hips as if that proved his point.

           Your face immediately went beet red and Kuroo took the time to memorize the expression on your face, the smile you had on despite the blush you were trying to control. He loved when you were flustered, that he could make you feel that way, you were the cutest thing…

           “Tetsu!”

           You laughed against his lips, his arms had snuck around and tugged you down towards him so he could kiss you again.

           “I love you Tetsu”

           “You have my entire heart y/n”

           Each step toward your house, each thought, each memory of you, fueled Kuroo’s resolve. Thoughts of you swirling in his mind, he knew he had to at least try, you meant more to him than he could describe.  

          the only thing I wanna do          is make it up to you

           God, he could imagine it now, the best possible outcome. Apologizing to you, grovelling, explaining and doing everything in his power to show how much he loved you, wanted you. He would do anything and everything in his power to show you that he wanted your forgiveness, that he would work every single day to get your trust back, to earn the right to call you his again. You were worth that, he knew that now more than anything.

           “Hey Tetsu,”

           He hummed his response, arm tightening his hold around your waist as you leaned back in his chest.

           “What do you want to do after graduation?”

           “As long as your there, I don’t care”

           You twisted to give him another dimpled smile, “Sap,” he could hear the love in your teasing tone.

           What he wouldn’t give to be able to go back.

           so I showed up at your party            yeah, I showed up at your party

           He could see your house coming into view, lights on and the faintest sound of music playing through the streets.

           yeah, I showed up at your party            will you have me? will you love me?

           His heart beat faster as he got closer, his mind racing at the thought of all the possibilities of what could happen. His feet carrying him up the path towards the familiar porch where he would kiss you goodbye until he could see you again.

           will you kiss me on the porch          in front of all your stupid friends?            if you kiss me will it be just like I dreamed it?            will it patch your broken wings?            I’m only seventeen, I don’t know anything            but I know I miss you

           His breath caught in his throat as he reached the door. This was it, there was no turning back. He took a moment to collect himself, breathing, ignoring the music and the people he could clearly hear on the other side of the door. Picturing your face on the other side of the door, running through his apology, again and again, practicing once more what he would say when he saw you. He reached a hand up and pressed the doorbell, the sound vibrating through his nervous form.

         standing in your cardigan          kissin’ in my car again          stopped at a streetlight          you know I miss you…

           “Kuroo?“

[velvetthunder1999]

All the time on Earth

Part 10 - Confessions

Summary: You start ignoring George, not knowing what to do. After he fails getting a straight answer from you, he decides to pour his heart out and he finally tells you how he feels

(I read the potion idea in a fic a long time ago, it gave me inspiration to this chapter and the whole series :) )

Warnings: Angst, few swearwords, Fluff, Fluff, Fluff

Word Count: 2.9K

George Weasley x Reader

Masterlist

You woke up feeling miserable. After you opened your eyes you didn’t get up immediately; you just lay there, thinking through yesterday in every single detail. You decided to skip breakfast and George had detention today so if you’re smart enough you can avoid him all day. Get food from the kitchen, spend the day in the Room of Requiremnet. That’s it.

You felt guilty for planning on how to avoid George but you had no other choice. You had to think things through. You thought of yesterday’s Hogsmeade trip as a test and you felt like you’d got your answer. You had believed — or at least had hoped — that if something happened, it would be in Hogsmeade. You had spent a whole day together for God’s sake!

But nothing happened. You were talking, you had fun, drank a few butterbeers but nothing more. You were too scared to do anything — but you’d hoped he would do something. Kiss you. Or just hold your hand. Anything. Yeah, you were messing around the snow but that was just a game. A stupid game. A small voice of hope in your head said, ‘But he was calling you all those names. Darling. Love. What was that?’

A horrible thought started forming in your mind. What if — what if he was just teasing you? He didn’t mean it, of course he didn’t mean it. Why would he? He probably has pet names for all the people he talks to. He was just making fun of you. Would that be it? Was he just playing around, not caring about how much it hurts you? How much his wordplays hurt you? Was this just a joke to him?

Well, it didn’t really matter at this point. He hadn’t confessed anything to you. Fred  had misinterpreted a lot of things, apparently. But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter anymore. George had made his choice — did he even have to make one? You felt horrible, thinking about how you were longing for him and he might had never thought of you as more than a friend.

You were on the verge of crying, but you stood your ground against your tears. Instead, you took some deep breaths. You musn’t let things go out of control. You still have your exams. You have to focus on those. You do your best. You will study in every free minute you have, write your exams perfectly, and over the summer you forget about the ginger boy.

Over the summer. The sentence made your heart ache. You closed your eyes. Every spring was like a torture to you. As the weather started getting better and better, the inevitable summer ‘vacation’ was looming over you. After this year it was more horrible than ever. You didn’t want to go home — but you felt like you were also unable to stay here with George.

There was no other way — you had to distance yourself. Right now. It’s gonna be horrible. But in order to get over him, this was the only solution you had.

You spent the day in the Room as you planned — and then the day after, and the day after, and so on. First, George didn’t seem to notice; you were always pretending to be in a hurry, only talking a few words with him at every meal, running to your next class. But as the second week of April had ended, he seemed to be a bit more persuasive.

“Come on, Y/N” he said one day at lunch. “I barely see you. Do you wanna go to Hogsmeade this weekend?”

“I’m sorry,” you said, eating as fast as possible. “I am lagging behind. I need to study.”

“Then go up to the astronomy tower again? Just for an hour?”

“Sorry,” you said, this time more quietly. You locked eyes with Fred who had a very disapproving look on his face.

“You’re avoiding him!” he said one day when he caught you after Charms. “He’s a mess! Driving me crazy, seeing him like that! He thinks he messed up something.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but I have a thousand things to attend to. I have my own life, Fred.”

“At least talk to him, tell him something. Don’t you see he feels horrible?”

Of course you could see it. George seemed hurt. You were hurt, too. Every time you rejected his invitations to somewhere, you saw him break a little. He looked just like how you felt.

And then one day, he had enough. You were studying under a tree by the lake when a shadow appeared on the grass next to you. You looked up and your stomach shrinked into a small ball at the sight of him.

“Hey,” he said. “Can I sit?”

Should you just run away? You put down your books and said a quiet ‘sure’.

He sat down next to you, watching your face. You couldn’t look him in the eye.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Good,” you said. “Bit tired. Studying a lot.”

“Mm,” he said, nodding. Then suddenly you heard the saddest, most miserable voice. “Why do you hate me?”

You jerked your head towards him. You were stunned.

“I don’t hate you.”

He had the saddest eyes you’ve ever seen.

“Then what is it? Because you haven’t talked to me in three weeks.”

“George…I… I can’t.”

He nodded.

“It’s killing me.”

You pressed your lips together tight before answering.

“You’re using such big words.”

“That’s how I feel.”

When you didn’t answer, he continued.

“Please tell me if I did something.”

You kept quiet.

“Did I hurt you?”

Nothing.

“Did I make you feel bad somehow?”

Quiet.

“Y/N. Please. I miss you.”

“You didn’t do anything,” you blurted out. It was true, though, he didn’t do anything. But in terms of how he meant it, you had to keep him in the dark. Otherwise you’d have to tell him everything. “You didn’t do anything, okay? I have a lot on my mind lately. I have all these exams, and when I’m done with them I can pack my stuff and go back to my parents for another wonderful two months.”

“I told you, you can come to us any time.”

“That’s not the point, George.”

“I know,” he said. “The point is that you don’t see that we’re here for you. I am here for you. And you’re ignoring me, because somehow you decided that you don’t need friends anymore? How’s that? At least you could tell me why.”

“Can we talk about this later?”

“No, we can’t.”

He was right, though. It was not nice what you were doing to him. You sighed. At least you can make him suffer less.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “You’re right. I am ignoring you. I was. But it’s not your fault. It’s — it’s something I have to deal with by myself. I just — I cannot tell you what it is. Not now. Maybe later. One day I will tell you, I promise.

“Can I help you with it without knowing what it is?”

“No.”

“Does Fred know?”

You dodged the question.

“Ginny does.”

He nodded.

“Are you sure I haven’t done anything to you?”

Well, technically…

“Yes. You haven’t done anything.”

——

If the talk with George made you change anything about your new routine, it was that you were willing to spend more time in the common room now while studying. Even though you didn’t have another conversation since the lake, he seemed a bit more relaxed seeing you around. It’s been seven days since that day; you weren’t ignoring him anymore, but you still hadn’t made any progress on processing his absence that was about to come in the near future of your life.

You were just about to finish a Transfiguration essay and start a Divination one when you heard the unmistakable voices coming from the Fat Lady. You looked up and a second later the twins arrived. Fred sat down onto the table opposite you, holding a box in his hands, while George took the spot next to you on the couch.

“Do you have a minute?” George asked.

“For what?”

“It’s a new product,” said Fred with mischievous eyes. “We just tested it, but we need to make sure it’s working.”

“I don’t really have time for anything right now —,” you started, but Fred interrupted.

“It’ll only take a minute. Promise.”

You hesitated. George spoke very softly.

“Please.”

You sighed.

“Fine. But make it quick. I’m not joking.”

“Brilliant,” said Fred and opened the box. He took out a small vial with a wooden cork in it and gave it to you. “Here you go.”

You took it, not sure what you’re suppose to do.

“…Yes? What do you want me to do with this? Drink it?”

“No!” said George, panicking. “Open it. And smell it.”

“Why?” you asked, more suspicious by the second.

“We already tested it ourselves but we need a female’s opinion.”

Fred shrugged like it was no big deal, but you felt that something was up with the two. You looked at the pinkish liquid in the vial. As long as you don’t have to drink anything…

You opened the bottle and held it closer. The twins leaned closer eagerly. You snapped at them.

“What? What is it?”

“Just smell it, Y/N!” said Fred impatiently. “We don’t have all day!”

You shot a sharp look at him then smelled the liquid. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“It’s so familiar. What is this?”

“What would you say it is?” asked George.

You shook your head and smelled the pink stuff again. You just… you just couldn’t wrap your head around it. Was it like… Was it something like fire? But it somehow also reminded you of water. And… you also felt something else… like perfume… or… or…

Or cologne.

You almost dropped the vial as you held it far away from your nose.

“What?” said Fred with great anticipation. Then grinned. “Was it stinky?”

George shot an angry look at him but you didn’t see it. You were staring at the liquid. The pink liquid.

Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh, fucking hell.

“So?” asked George eagerly. “What do you feel?”

“No — nothing,” you lied. Very badly, actually.

“Don’t lie!” scolded you Fred. “What is it? What does it smell like?”

Oh, no. What should you say? What should you say?!

“I… I can’t,” you said. “I can’t do this.”

“What?” George looked taken aback. “What is it?”

“I can’t do this right now. I’m sorry.”

You stood up without looking at them. You kept your head down as you hurried to the portrait, leaving the common room.

—— George was staring at the part of the couch you were just sitting. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t believe it. This cannot be happening.

“George?” asked Fred in a careful tone. “You’re okay?”

George didn’t answer, didn’t blink, even. He was just staring.

“George?”

Would it have been so hard? Giving an honest answer, putting him out of his misery?

“George, we can talk to her again when she comes back.”

He had enough. He had enough.

“Georgie…?”

George stood up, suddenly. He made up his mind. This was it. Months have passed. It was enough.

“I’m ending this bullshit, right now.”

And he ran.

——

You were leaving behind the corridors like an animal running for its life. You didn’t know what to do. This came out of the blue. Of course the twins did it again. And Fred! Fred knew! Was this just an evil game to them? And what should you say when they — oh, they certainly will — ask you again?

You needed air. You needed to be alone. You needed to get to someplace where you could think.

You headed towards the astronomy tower and ran up the stairs as fast as you could. You were out of breath by the time you reached the top. You opened the door and stepped outside and…

“George!” you yelled, looking at the panting boy standing in front of you. “How — ”

“Hello, love,” he said, a hand on his side. “Give me a minute, I just ran through the whole bloody castle.”

You were stunned. You couldn’t move. What the hell was going on?

“George, I really…” you paused before continuing. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Did you smell me?” he said, standing up. He hesitated. “Or — or did you smell Fred?”

“Wh — what?!” you felt more outraged than emberrassed. “No, I didn’t smell Fred, what the hell?!

“Oh,” he said, breathing normally again. “Good. Was it me then?”

Oh, God. Oh, God, no. It’s over. He’s gonna find out. He already knows! Shit. Oh, shit!

“I… I am —”

“Cause I smelled you.”

First you didn’t even understand what he just said. Then your jaw dropped in confusion.

“Wh… what are you talking about?” your voice barely louder than a whisper.

He stepped closer, not taking his eyes off you for a second.

“I smelled the potion. We’ve been brewing it for a long time now. I know it works cause when I smelled it… it was like butterbeer. And vanilla, which I assume is your shampoo. Also that gummy candy you’re always eating. So… yeah. I wanted to tell you for so long, Y/N. I can’t take it anymore.”

You looked him in the eye, still unable to speak. Was he telling the truth? Was he playing with you? You had to make sure. Because if it was real…

“Are you…” a relieved smile appeared on your lips. “Are you serious?”

George casted down his eyes. He took both your hands and gently squeezed your fingers.

“Please, don’t laugh at me.”

You shook your head.

“No, I mean… this isn’t a joke, right? You’re telling the truth?”

“Why would I joke with this?”

“Just tell me.”

A sad smile appeared on his face. He started nervously rubbing your fingers. And he finally looked at you.

“I’m serious.”

You laughed.

“Alright, then.”

You let go of his hand but only to cup his cheeks. You pulled him down and pressed your lips on his. He let out a surprised moan. He froze for a second. Then he reached for you to welcome you in his arms, closed his eyes and completely melted into the kiss.

It was like all your troubles had faded away in a second. You kissed George with everything you were holding back for the last couple of months. Your heart was beating incredibly fast. He tasted so sweet. His lips were hot. He was holding you so close. You smelled his cologne again and you felt like you’re going mad. You wanted more of him, you needed him, and you couldn’t think of anything but his lips on yours and his hair between your fingers.

When you two pulled away, gasping for air, he rested his forehead on yours. He was panting and you were too. You couldn’t help but smile. You were gently stroking his cheek with your thumb, finally looking at him. He looked at you, dazed.

“Hi,” you said.

His eyes looked like melted chocolate. A smile was hiding in the corner of his lips. He softly brushed his nose against yours.

“Hi.”

You leaned towards him again, this time giving him a small peck on the lips. He was holding you strongly in his arms, making you feel goosebumps on your back. Your heart was really beating, maybe for the first time in your life. You heard your blood running wild in your ears.

“You know…” you said, whispering. He looked deeply in your eyes, drinking your words, “I want you to know I smelled you, too. I… I smelled fireworks and rain… and your cologne which also reminded me of the forest. I’m… I’m so mad for you. I have been for months.”

“What?” he said, dumbfounded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was so scared,” you gently tucked a lock of his long hair behind his ears. “I didn’t wanna loose you.”

“Witty, you wouldn’t have lost me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me then?”

“I wanted to. Really. I was just an idiot. As Fred told me so.”

“Wait — Fred knew?”

“Yeah. He figured it out in a second.”

“He wasn’t lying then?”

“Lying?” he looked at you, confused. “Did he tell you?”

“He knew I liked you. He told me I should talk to you because it might end well.”

You looked at each other in disbelief. If you had just talked to each other months before…

“Well, I guess we have to make up for the time we lost,” he said, leaning closer again.

“You think so?” you asked teasingly.

“Mm,” he said and kissed you again, this time tenderly, like you were a flower that’s about to break. You smiled into the kiss and when he realized, he did too.

After his lips let go of yours, he leaned down and burried his face into your neck. He kissed you gently while still holding you close.

“George…” you said, whispering. You were stroking his hair. You had never felt more alive. He kissed your neck again, making you shiver.

“Do you wanna go to Hogsmeade with me — ?

“Yes…”

“— as my girlfriend?”

“…Yes.”

His mischievous smile returned. All that concern and hurt had disappeared from his face. His eyes were shining under the night sky. He placed a small kiss on the tip of your nose and said,

“Alright, then.”

[desiresign]

actually doing a game review of 2021

its 2022 now so im late but i want to go over the different new games i played in 2021 .dont play a lto of new games so understand most was replaing my other games of previous

the very first game played of 2021 was yuppie psycho. i love this game dearly and it was so much fun playing. i was very scared while playing, its so funny thinking of it now. definitely one of my favorite games, if i ever start streaming i am for sure doing this one. this is my first game i got 100% achievements in.

psychonauts! hey, this is a list of games i /played/ not games i just discovered...

anyways, i have 101% this game! it was enjoyable to do it actually. its not all that hard! just takes a bit, and a couple looking things up. despite 101% i dont have all the achievements, i will get those eventually and “officially” 100% though.

later alligator is short, cute, and very fun. i liked it a lot! i love the art style and in general just how this game plays. i would love to 100% it one day, but i got no clue where some puzzle pieces are, esp since some are time sensitive. its very funny silly and i realize i never really talked about it ever! but i love it.

cuphead...um, played very badly.... i only beat 3 levels. im not good at 2d platformers...

my singing mosnters well this sure did eat up a ton of hours while i wasnt looking! kept me going for like 3 months straight. ive got like. over 100 million coins right now, i dont remember. i havent been playing anymore, not out of dislike its just escaped me. its enjoyable and cute though.

psychonauts 2... whoa. um hehe! i waited for this game a long time and love it very much. where it improves over the original it really does. i love the settings to be invincible because my computer isnt the best so if i was playing normally i would die a lot to lag. unlike psychonauts 1, i didnt 101% this for those computer reasons but one day i will. its so big filespace it makes me cry.

cat goes fishing. a little game that i bought for a random boredom. its just a little fishing game, nothing to it.

deltarune chapter 2.                                                                       .  aaeeegghuffrufurufuruuaggeggeagegaegegehaghfghfehgfeghegaggeheegah. thats all i gotta say.

inscryption, oh yeah here we go. had a lot of fun with this. i love this, the game is really fun. however it is a game where i find the gameplay more fun than the story, usually those are like balanced. after beating it, i play kaycees mod, and a lot of it, though it frustrates me at times, like i said i love the gameplay. i wish act 2 had an endless mode. well, i wish..ya!!!!!!!!!

my final game of 2021, well. my final game of 2021 was the hex. i started played it just before new years, and beat it on december 31, actually. so it is,technically, a 2021 game, though it will be for 2022 in my mind. oh, how i love it..the hex...ohhh, the unloved middle child between pony island and inscryption. i lvoe you dearly....my bingus.... well, and other nonsense that goes on like that.

the first game of 2021 and the last game of 2021 both are my official perfect games on steam right now, wow, a funny.. life could be dream

[bella-spil]

The Game

You and the rest of the Avengers play Cards Against Humanity.

Female reader.

Warnings: TONS of adult topics, TONS of cursing, a little bit of fluff (Don't read if you don't like adult topics)

Word count: 6.2k (sry that this is a longer one!)

A/N: sorry this took so long.  I had it saved as a draft, but then my account logged out and I had to retype the whole thing.  I hope you like it!!!!

@wednesday-add-em​ @angrythingstarlight​  if you wanna be tagged lmk.

"What game would that be, Parker?" Nat asked, suspicious.

"You'll find out if you chose to play," Peter declared.

As everyone else in the room started to wonder what "game" Peter was referring to, you Bucky and Sam were grinning at each other, knowing exactly what's gonna happen.  You start daydreaming all the possibilities that might happen, from funny scenarios in the cards to people arguing about who won.  They all seem great, but you knew it would be better once everyone would start playing. 

"Actually," Wanda announced, getting up from her seat.  "I'm pretty tired from the mission and the jet lag.  I'm gonna call it a night." 

"I am quite exhausted as well,"  Vision said, pushing his seat in. "I need a rest as well.  Goodnight everyone." 

"Congrats Y/N and Bucky!" Wanda shouted before she left the room, with Visions hand in hers.

"Wait, how can the android be tired?" Clint asked.  Then everyone in the room knew what the two avengers were going to be doing tonight. 

"WE KNOW YOU TWO ARE GOING TO FUCK TONIGHT!!!" Tony screamed at them.  Wanda heard Tony and flipped him off, still walking to her room with Vision.  Everyone at the table was laughing from Tonys antics, but you knew everyone might lose their voices by the end of tonight.

"So,"  Peter interrupted the laughing.  "Is anyone else going to leave to fuck?" 

All the avengers look at one another, seeing if anyone else would dare to get up from the table.  Nobody made a move, except for Steve who just squirmed in his seat, knowing he wasnt going to leave for fucking.  He wasn't the best in moments where there was something inappropriate involved, but he had a feeling that's what tonight would be full of.  So he decided to man up and stand his ground.  

"I dont think Im gonna fuck anybody tonight, unless Nat says so,"  Sam acknowledged.  Nat rolled her eyes at him and kicked him underneath the table.  Sam shifted in his seat, tears building up like a bomb about to explode.  Nat smiled to herself, not letting anyone get suspicious of her in any way.

"Lets go kid,"  Tony said.

"Alright then," Peter smiled.  "Everyone, follow me." 

Everyone followed Peter and got up from the table.  As they were following Peter, some of the avengers were whispering to one another.  They had no clue about what was happening, which made everything more exciting.  As they made their way to the living room, the game was already set up by Peter.  The cards were arranged neatly onto the coffee table into piles with little tags on top of them so everyone knew what they were for.  You patted Peter on the back to show how thankful you were for him.  

He smiled back at you and whispered, "You owe me for this."  

Then you glared at him and lit your hand on fire and shoved it in Peter's face.

"No, I don't think I do," you replied, smugly.  Peter gulped and inches away from you, not wanting to have his ass kicked before the game even started.  As you and Peter were bickering, the others behind you, except for Bucky, realized what the game was.  You could hear sighs of realization behind you and internally grinned.  You knew keeping them guessing would pay off in the long run.

"Oh, so we are playing this game?" Tony chuckled.

"Now I know why you and Parker were acting weird." Nat said, smiling at you.

"Told you you'd find out." you said. 

"Ok are we playing in teams or going rogue?" Clint asked.  

"In teams," Peter answered.  "Me and y/n already came up with teams of two and team names." 

"Oh god,"  Clint and Nat sigh while Tony is rolling his eyes.  Sam snickers, thinking team names are for little kids but Steve is looking at the cards, not knowing what they are.

"Wait, guys.  What is this game?" Steve questioned.  Everyone rolls their eyes at him and sighs.  Steve was very outdated, and even though he has been in modern times for about a decade now, he still had a ton of catching up to do.           

"What?"  Steve groaned.  "Ive been frozen for 70 years.  Give me a break!" 

"Steve, you're not the only one that's a bit outdated.  You have had a few more years to catch up then I have and I still know what this is."  Bucky protested, earning a snicker from everyone else on the team while Steve rolled his eyes and lightly punched Bucky in the arm.

"Mr. Rogers,"  F.R.I.D.A.Y. chimed in.  "Do you know the game Apples to Apples?" 

"Yeah why?"  Steve asked the A.I.

"Well, Cards Against Humanity is basically that game.  The only difference is that Cards Against Humanity is for a more mature audience." 

"That's a good way of putting it,"  Tony mocked. 

"Ok thank you F.R.I.D.A.Y.,"  Steve said.  "I'm all good now." 

"C'mon guys what are the teams?" Clint asked, getting impatient.

"I hope I'm with Nat."  Sam whispered, glancing at Nat once again.  Sam winked at her, but she punched him in the arm.  Nat liked using physical violence, but only went necessary, or if someone was annoying her, like Sam.  Everyone chuckled, but then they drew their attention back to Peter, who was waiting to announce the teams.

"Ok, first is me and Mr. Stark."  Peter announced.  "We are the Student and Master." 

"Kid, if we lose, I will take your suit away for a week."  Tony declared as he high fived Peter.  Peter gulped and took a seat with Tony around the table.  Everyone else was standing up, waiting to hear their name be called.

"Then, we have Steve and Nat, the Spys." you said.  Steve and Nat smiled at each other and sat down in front of Tony and Peter.  Sam, however, was not impressed and his mouth was to the floor.

"Are you kidding me? Sam shrieked.  "You put Star Spangled Banner with Nat?"

"The teams were already made," you shrugged.  "If you wanted to be with her so badly, you should have made a request." 

"I hate you,"  Sam retorted.  "I hope i'm not with the Wiener Soldier over there." 

"Shut it Pigeon,"  Bucky snapped.  You rolled your eyes at the two of them, who were still throwing looks at each other like they were elementary school kids that got into an argument.  

"Then me and Bucky are together,"  you said, taking a seat with the Winter Soldier on the right of Steve and Nat.  Everyone made kissy noises and ooed at the two of you as you sat down.

"Wait you forgot the team name!" Clint remembered.  You sighed before saying the embarrassing name.

"I didn't come up with the names, Peter did,"  you said, singling Peter out.  "We are the Lovebirds."  After you said the team name, everyone continued their antics of making kissing noises and everything else.

"Guess we are together, Clint," Sam realized, since Clint and himself were the last two people standing up.  They took their seats on the left of Steve and Nat, making themselves directly across from you and Bucky.  It seemed as if they did it on purpose, but you didn't care about that.  You were waiting for their reaction to their team name.

"Y/N, what's their team name?" Nat asked.  You and Bucky looked at each other, giggling like 5 year olds.  

"Peter, would you like to do the honors?" you asked.

Peter sighed, knowing this would end up good, but continued anyway.  "The Birdbrains."   Everyone started howling in laughter.  Sam and Clint looked at each other, then back at Peter, ready to pounce on him like lions.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!!!!"  Sam shouted, running after Peter with Clint following suit.  Due to his Spidey Sense, Peter was able to dodge the two of them and ran out of the room, followed by an angry Sam and Clint.  Steve and Tony ran after them, trying to get the Birdbrains to come to their senses.  You and Nat rolled your eyes at each other while Bucky was sitting there chucking.

"Ugh, men," Nat sighed.  

You giggled as the five men took their seats.  Sam was still annoyed, smoke coming out of his ears.  Clint seemed ok, he looked like he enjoyed running after Peter.  Peter was laughing, not trying to be rude, but he was trying to control himself.

"Im gonna kill you," Sam said.

"Sure Birdbrain," Peter smirks.

As everyone gets the laughter out of their systems before the game starts, each team picks seven white cards from the pile.  Each team read their cards, giggling at some of them and having to hold in a cackle for others. 

"Ok who is going to be the judges first?" Steve asked.

"I mean Y/N and Bucky," Nat responded as if it was obvious.  "It's only fair that they go first." 

"Ok then," you said, grabbing the first black card of the night.  You grabbed the card and read it, and then you started laughing and showed it to Bucky.  He laughed as well and the both of you were able to regain your senses to read the card.

"Bucky you wanna read it?" you ask, still smiling.

"Sure," Bucky replied.  He cleared his throat before going on to read the card.  "Fun tip!  When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with ______." 

Everyone started to laugh again.  But then, everyone's mode shifted from having fun to competition mode.  Everyone in the Avengers hated losing anything and tonight was no exception.  Each team was in deep discussion with their partners, deciding which card was the best to win the round.  After a couple of minutes, each team put their cards in the middle for you and Bucky to read.

"Ok," Bucky cleared his throat again.  "Fun tip!  When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with..." He stopped to read the first white card.  "Drowning kids in the bathtub!  Holy shit!"  Everyone started laughing, including you.  That card was very dark, and very funny.

"When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with… an erection that lasts longer than 4 hours."   Everyone lightly chuckled at this one, it wasn't as funny as the first card.     

"Lastly, when your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with… explaining how viaginas work.  Ok this one works for Steve 100%!"  Everyone laughed and agreed with Bucky.  Steve was smiling, not laughing.  He was trying to not show how true that was but it wasn't working out that well for him.

Then you and Bucky turned to one another and discussed who won this round.  You whispered for about less than a minute, since there was an obvious winner.  Then you and Bucky turned around to the three teams and announced your decision.  

"Drowning kids in the bathtub wins!" you declare.  Then Peter and Tony cheer and high five each other.

"We did it!" Peter cheered.

"Got ya, suckers!" Tony bragged.  

"Wait, how many black cards do you need to win?" Clint asked.  You looked at Peter, who shrugged.  It was a very good question, and you needed a minute to think about it.

"How about the first team with 10 black cards wins?"  you ask.  Everyone nodded and the game resumed.

"Ok, Peter, Tony, you judge." Bucky said.

Tony reached up to grab the card.  As he read it, he kept snickering.  When he finished, he showed Peter the card as he leaned into Peter's shoulder for support.  Peter was chuckling as well and leaned on Tony's head.  As far as you knew, Tony was very tough with Peter, but now, seeing them all cuddled up together laughing, it proved y9ou very wrong.  It took you by surprise, but you loved how cute they were together.  Tony was the father figure in Peter's life that he needed, and he was that figure for you as well.

"You wanna read it, Peter?" Tony asked.

"Sure," Peter said.  "When I was tripping on acid, ______ turned into ________."  Everyone chuckled at how ridiculous the card sounded and started to choose their cards for the round.

"Wait, how will you guys know which card goes first?" Steve asked.

"Put the first card on the top and the second one on the bottom." Peter replied.  Steve gave him a thumbs up and continued talking with Nat.  

As everyone was choosing their cards, you and Bucky were doing the exact same thing.  But in the middle of it, Bucky called you "doll."  Normally there's nothing wrong with this, it was something he called you since the two of you met.  But Sam was in the room.  And he heard it.  After Bucky said it, Sam started cackling like a witch.  He was rolled over on the floor, clutching to his stomach and tears covering his face.  Everyone else looked up and wondered what in the world was so funny, since none of them heard Bucky's nickname for you.  You didn't know why he was laughing, but Bucky knew the exact reason.  He wasn't going to say anything to draw attention to himself or you.  Instead he just gave a death stare at Sam, and nobody noticed.

"Partner, you good down there?" Clint asked, confused.  Sam was still laughing as he got up from the floor.

"Yeah," Sam coughed.  After he caught his breath, he saw Bucky glaring at him.  He waved at Bucky, like he had no clue what he did.  When your head was looking at the cards, he flipped Sam off and Sam stuck his tongue out and put his finger by his throat, signaling that Bucky would get it later.  Bucky rolled his eyes and returned his attention back to you and the game.

After a couple minutes, three cards were placed in the middle, ready to be read by the Student and Master.

"Everyone hush!!! Tony scolded, and everyone in the room immediately shut up.  "Thank you.  Kid, you may read the first card." 

"Thanks Mr. Stark," Peter said.  "When I was tripping on acid, Danny DeVito turned into pixelated bukkake!  Oh my god! What the FUCK?" Everyone was clutching on the remaining air that was left in their lungs.  All of the teams were laughing to the point where faces were turning purple.

"What does that mean?" Steve quietly asked, not wanting a lecture about how pure he was.  But everyone heard since the laughter was dying down, but it resumed once more after what Steve said.  It took another couple of minutes for everyone to control themselves again.  

"I'll explain later, Steve." Sam reassured.  Steve rolled his eyes and let Tony and Peter continue.

"Ok, when I was tripping on acid, blowing my boyfriend so hard he shits turned into incest." Peter continued.  He laughed at the end and everyone joined him.

"My turn, shut up!!" Tony barked.  "Ahem.  When I was tripping on acid, my sex life turned into..."  Tony never finished reading the card.  His eyes were glued to the last white card.  It was like he did not comprehend what was on the card. 

"Am I- am I reading this right?" he asked Peter.  Peter took a look at the card and he snorted.

"Yeah.. yeah." Peter snickered.  "You are reading that right, Mr. Stark." 

"Ok I just wanted to make sure i'm not getting too old." Tony said.  "When I was tripping on acid, my sex life turned into braiding three penises into a twizzler.  Alright, who the fuck thinks this is ok?" 

Everyone was cackling and laughing again.  Tony was ranting on about how obscene the card was and how that would never work in real life, which was making it harder to stop laughing.  Once Tony was finished complaining and asking F.R.I.D.A.Y. if the card was able to actually happen, the laugher subsided and Tony and Peter started deliberating.  They took longer than you and Bucky, which made it seem as if it was a close round.  Finally, Peter stood up and revealed the winning card.

"Before I announce the winning card, I have a question for Mr. Rogers." Peter announced.

"Sure, Peter.  Whats up?" Steve asked.

"Did you understand what the last card meant?" Peter asked.  Everyone chuckled lightly.  Not that it wasn't funny.  Everyone knew if they laughed too hard, they would have a hard time breathing.    

Steve rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically before answering the question.  "Yes.  I understood that reference." 

Bucky stood up and started applauding for Steve.  He was joined by you, Nat, Tony and the Birdbrains.  Steve stood up and took a bow, thanking everyone and waving like a celebrity.      

"Thank god you did," Nat sighed in relief.

"Finally, you get something!" Bucky rejoiced.

"This was a close one but the sex life one wins for sure!" Peter said.

Clint and Sam got up again and started to cheer, high fiving and chest bumping.  They even did some weird thing that was supposed to be a bird call, since they were the Birdbrains.  To you, it sounded like a cat dying in an alleyway from food poisoning.  Once they finished their bird call, the Birdbrains sat down and bragged about their first win of the night.

"Yeah yeah! Deal wit dat!" Sam yelled.

"Losers!" Clint cheered, making an "L" with his hand and putting it on his forehead.

"We will see who has the last laugh," Nat grunted.

"Birdbrains!" you chimed in.  

"Shut it Lovebirds!" Sam shouted back at the two of you.  He went to pick up the next black card.  Bucky looked around the room, not knowing why he was blamed and not Nat.  Nat smirked at Bucky and Bucky just rolled his eyes.  You giggled while Bucky stuck the middle finger back at Sam, for the like the 100th time tonight.

Sam and Clint read the card and started to laugh again, but it wasn't a big one, just a chuckle.

"Hehe.  Shut it Clint.  I gotta read the card!" Sam scolded.  Clint stopped laughing, but his face looked like it was about to explode any minute now as Sam started to read the card.

"White people like _____" Sam read.  Everyone giggled and went back to their groups to decide which card would be the best.  In a few minutes, each team was ready and placed their cards in the middle.  

"We got this one Steve." Nat said.

"Yeah, Nat.  Lets go!" Steve cheered as he high fived his partner.

"No, Spys," Tony sighed.  "We do because we are the best.  No questions needed to be asked.  Right kid?" 

"Yes sir!" Peter joined in.  The two of them fist bumped and made faces at the Spys and Lovebirds.

"Oh be quiet," Bucky sighed.  "Let the stupid Birdbrains read the fucking cards."  You smiled as Bucky held his arm around you a little tighter than before.  You knew Bucky wasn't the most patient person, and it seemed like the Birdbrains were taking as long as possible just to annoy your boyfriend.  You knew you would win in the end though.  And if you didn't, the Winter Soldier would kick their asses to their graves.

"Thank you.  Ahem," Sam cleared his throat.  "White people like jerking off into a pool of children's tears.  Holy fuck."  Everyone laughed at the card, just like all the others before it.          

"That's my kind of humor.  Continue Sam." Clint chuckled.  You knew Clint had a very different sense of humor than most of the people at the Compound.  You had become friends with him by understanding his jokes that nobody else understood.  Even Peter was able to understand some of Clint humor, which was a shocker to everyone.  Clint enjoyed having someone that understood him, even if it was for jokes about drowning kids.

"Next, white people like.." Sam never finished reading the card.  He shoved the card in Clints face and walked out of the room to get a breath of fresh air.  Clint looked at everyone to see if they knew why he walked out, but you and everyone else were just as lost.  Then Clint looked at the card and had an "aha"  moment.  

"White people like a falcon with a cap on its head." Clint finished.  Everyone knew the card wasn't funny.  But since Sam's superhero name was "Falcon," it seemed so funny.  Bucky was trying very hard not to laugh and so were Steve, Nat and Clint.  Peter was about to laugh, but Tony was able to cover Peter's mouth in time.  Tony raised his free hand to his mouth, making a "shush" motion.  You were sitting there, smirking to yourself since you knew it wasn't the right time to laugh.

Then Sam came back into the room after a couple of minutes.  He was clearly upset of something so stupid, which made it even harder not to laugh.  Sam was staring at you and Bucky, thinking it was the two of you since Bucky and him were friends, but not really.  Sam was eyeing everyone in the room like a hawk, trying to see if anyone had changed their facial expression or something else.  

"Sam, you wanna read the last card?" Clint asked.

"No," Sam stated, bluntly.  "You read it." 

"White people like three dicks at the same time." Clint finished with a light chuckle, and all the other teams followed suit.

"Ok, drowning kids in the bathtub wins." Clint decided, without having to deliberate.

"Agreed." Sam said.

Bucky picked you up in the air and spun you around.  He hugged you so tight, you had to tap him so you could breath.  As you and Bucky bask in your victory, Sam is still looking at the Student and Master and the Spies.  He was being a detective, looking for little details that might lead him to the culprits that put that card down.  

"Who put the fucking card down?" Sam asked.  All of the sudden, Tony and Peter start laughing out of control.  Sam knew those two were the criminals in his crime.  He took a deep breath, trying his best not to go over and take Peter down to the ground.

"Im gonna kill you." Sam growled.

"Save it Birdbrain," Nat told off.  "First team to ten.  Then you can kill them." 

"You bet yo ass I will," Sam grunted.

~~~

The rest of the night carried on in a flash.  The night was filled with laughter, smiles and cheers as each team won a round.  When you started playing, it was around 8:30 pm.  But now, it was 11:50 pm.  Everyone was definitely tired, as everyone started to yawn and get bags underneath their eyes.  

You and Bucky were doing very well together.  You guys won a ton of rounds and always celebrated with Bucky hugging you and spinning you around the room.  But you weren't tired.  The adrenaline from the game was serving as a source of energy, and it was the same source for all the other teams too. 

Peter and Tony were doing very well too.  They won a couple rounds as well and they always high fived when they won.  But whenever they lost, Tony threatened Peter, saying he would take away his suit and suspend him from being an Avenger.  And as the night progressed, you and everyone kept forgetting the score for your teams.  So Tony asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. to keep track of the score for the rest of the night.  And she did, very well.  

Sam and Clint were very competitive and sometimes it served in their favor.  They won a few like you and Bucky and Peter and Tony.  Clint was yawning by 9:50, he wasn't used to staying up late, but he was having fun nonetheless.  Sam, however, was full of energy, matching your level.  He grabbed tons and tons of candy, ice cream and other junk food as the night progressed, serving as a food and energy source for all of the teams.  Sam ate so much in fact that he got a sugar high at about 10:00 pm, but it wore off a few minutes later.   

Steve and Nat were doing good,but not as well and you and Bucky.  They won a few rounds, sure, but not as many as they would like.  Nat was pretty calm, but when Sam was "high" he was trying to be smooth and get Nat to go out with him.  She hit him repeatedly, and she smiled with gusto as she did, which made you laugh.  Steve to your surprise, was getting a little worked up.  He sighed in annoyance whenever they lost a round, and roared in happiness whenever they won.

~~~

"Ok, what's the score F.R.I.D.A.Y.?" Nat asked.

"The score for the Lovebirds is nine," F.R.I.D.A.Y. recited.  "The Spies have seven.  The Student and Master have nine as well.  And finally, the Birdbrains have nine.  Is that all Mrs. Romanoff?" 

"Your good, thanks F.R.I.D.A.Y." Nat thanked.    

"Ok since you guys have nine each, me and Nat will judge this last round." Steve said.  "This is it, the last one.  Winner takes all!"

As Steve finished his speech, Nat rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath as she went to grab the final black card..  You knew Bucky had superb hearing, so you leaned to ask him what she said.

"Buck, what did she say?" you asked, quietly.

"She was just saying something about how Steve has a speech for every little thing." Bucky whispered.  You giggled under your breath.

As Nat read the card, she showed it to Steve, who started to giggle like a five year old.

"Steve, this isn't that funny," Nat groaned.

"Just read the card," Steve sighed as he regained control of his breathing.

"Ugh." Nat sighed.  "Kids, I don't need drugs to get high.  I'm high on _____."  Everyone chuckled at the card and turned to their partners for the last time.  

"Kid, this is it," Tony said.

"Yep," Peter said.

"We gotta go big or go home."  Tony said.  Then, Tony and Peter looked through the cards and finally, they had their eyes set on their winning card.

"This, my student, is gold," Tony remarked.  "No, no.  Scratch that.  It's the diamond in the rough."

"Do you know the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?" Peter asked.

"Yeah why?"

"Well, this card is like our golden ticket to victory Mr. Stark." Peter said.

"I don't want another pop culture reference out of you for the rest of the night.  You understand?" Tony scolded.  Peter gulped as Tony placed their card in the middle of the table.

"Clint?" Sam asked.

"Sam?" Clint asked.

"This is it." Sam said.

"This is it." Clint said.  "We gotta give 'em the money."

"Give em the money!" 

"We gotta win."

"We have to show those little shits who the fucking bosses are." Sam declared.

"Yes sir," Clint agreed.  As the Birdbrains were chanting, boosting their confidence, they interrupted Bucky's train of thought, and yours as well.    To you, they sounded like the football teams in the locker room.  When the coach is giving the team a pep talk during the halftime show in the Superbowl, boosting the teams confidence.  You were giggling to yourself as you heard them, and Bucky caught on.  As you looked back at him, you saw a glimmer in his heavenly, blue eyes, filled with mischief.  He had his signature smirk, his one for trouble on as well.

"Doll, watch this," he whispered.  He looked over at Sam and Clint, and you waited to see what he would do next.

"YEAH BIRDBRAINS! PREACH!!!" he shouted, clapping his hands and cheering them on, mocking them.

Sam and Clint immediately stop and glare at Bucky, who is smirking at them and batting his eyelashes at them, while you are cuddled up into his shoulder laughing at the Winter Soldiers antics.

"SHUT IT LOVEBIRDS!!!" Sam and Clint clap back. 

"Ok, before we were so RUDELY interrupted," Sam grunted.  

"Very RUDELY," Clint agreed.

"Do you agree that this one is the winner?" Sam asked.  Clint looked at the card that Sam was referring to and nodded his head.  Then Sam took the card and placed it in the middle.  You and Bucky were the team that everyone was waiting for.

"Ok doll," Bucky said.  "Don't worry.  We got this in the bag."

"Yeah we got this." you agreed, smiling at your boyfriend.

Bucky looked at the other teams and pointed at them while they were waiting for you guys.  "They don't know who they are dealing with.  They are messing with the fucking Lovebirds and they have made a BIG fucking mistake." 

"Yeah we got this.  Also.." you said slyly, biting your lip at Bucky, putting your hand in his hair and leaning into his ear so only he could hear.  "If we do win.. We can have some fun later, if you know what I mean."

When you pulled away, looking back at the cards, you looked at Bucky through the corner of your eyes.  His eyes bulged open and he looked at you, smirking and biting his bottom lip.

"Oh doll," he groaned, his voice deeper and as smooth as chocolate. 

"This card looks good right?" you asked, your tone completely changed from full of lust to innocence.  Bucky kept staring at you and smiled at you.  He always had a hard time believing he was dating you, but tonight, he realized he wanted you till the day he died.

"Yeah, you do." he blushed.  You giggled at him and gave him a peck on the cheek before you put your card into the middle.

"Ok everyone ready?" Steve asked, grabbing the cards from the table.  Everyone nodded, nerves were bouncing off the walls for all the teams.  

"First card." Steve announced.  "Kids, I don't need drugs to get high.  I'm high on..." He looked at the card and snickered, making sure his eyes weren't play tricks on him.  "I'm high on anal beads."  The room was roaring with laughter as Steve blushed after reading the card.  It took everyone about 10 minutes to calm down and let the Spies read the next card.

"That's method." Tony sighed.

"That's fucked up," Nat coughed.

"That's kinky as fuck!" Sam exclaimed.

"Next: Kids, I dont need drugs to get high," Nat read.  "I'm high on selling crack to children."  Nat's voice cracked with shock as she finished reading the card in horror.  Everyone cracked up even more.

"That's sick!" Clint said.

"Twisted!" Peter agreed.

"Ok whoever put that card down has the balls and I fucking live for it." you smiled, still laughing.

"What the hell?" Bucky sighed, putting his head in his metal hand, trying to process what Nat read.

"Then, last but not least, Nat will you do the honors?" Steve asked.

"It would be my honor," Nat grinned.  Before she started reading, she cleared her throat, overexagrating a little bit, which caused everyone to chuckle.  "Kids, I don't need drugs to get high.  I'm high on… what the fuck?" Nat looked at the card she had to read and started cackling like a witch.

"Nat, you ok over there?" you asked.

"Yeah Im fine." Nat chuckled.  "I'm high on a good sniff."  Everyone in the room was soon cackling like Nat.  And you sounded like witches.  You wondered how Wanda and Vision were "sleeping" with all the noise you guys were making.  After everyone calmed down, Steve wasn't out of breath like everyone else.

"Nat, that means what I think it means right?" Steve asked quietly.

"What do you think it means Steve?" Nat sighed.  Steve leaned into her ear and whispered what he thought it was.  You asked Bucky if he could hear what he said, but your boyfriend shook his head.  After Steve finished telling Nat, she nodded her head and rolled her eyes at her stupid partner.

"Yes Steve." Nat groaned.  "That's what 'a good sniff' means, you idiot."

"Thought you would have gotten that, pal," Bucky mocked.

"I did, I just wanted to make sure what I thought was correct." Steve stated.

"Steve, how do you not understand anything?" Bucky asked.

"Bucky, I thought you always fucked the girls on the first date in the forties.  Did you yet?" Steve asked, trying to come back at Bucky.  But it didn't really make sense because you were still a virgin.  Tony rolled his eyes in the corner and you sighed.

"Did you fuck a girl yet?" Bucky snapped.

"Steve, do we have a winner?" Nat interrupted, stopping the old men from bickering any longer.

"No, I have no clue," Steve answered.  "This was a close round.  Do you want to decide somewhere else, so they don't hear?  This might take a while."

"Yeah, lets go to the bathroom," Nat said.  "Take the cards with you."  Steve followed Nat, but Sam wasn't going to let Nat leave so quickly.

"Dont fuck him Nat!!!" Sam pleaded, shouting as loud as he could.  "He will lose his powers!"  Steve turned his back to face Sam, who was smiling back at him.  Steve rolled his eyes and followed Nat, and as he walked down the hall, he flipped Sam off.  Nat did as well.  

You, Peter and Tony were laughing your asses off, laughing at Steve and Nat as they were in the bathroom.  Clint was on his phone, texting his wife.  

Meanwhile, Sam and Bucky were making fun of Steve.  You heard them saying how much trouble Steve would be having if he was actually fucking Nat.  They were saying how Nat would be the dominant one and Steve would be like a ragdoll.  You were listening to Sam and Bucky more then Tony and Peter, since what Bucky and Sam were talking about interested you way more.

After about 10 minutes or so, Steve and Nat came out of the bathroom.  You, Sam and Bucky were eyeing them very closely, seeing if their hair was messed up, if their clothes were wrinkled, if they had hickeys, but there were no signs of physical contact.  Sam, however, wasn't letting up.  

"I hope you didn't give him a quickie," Sam mocked.

"Fuck off, Birdbrain," Nat scoffed.  "Steve, do you want to announce the winning team?"

"Sure," Steve nodded.  "Drumroll, please."

Everyone patted their legs, making a drumroll noise.  But Tony just waved his hand for everyone to stop.

"Guys stop, just stop." Tony commanded.  "We have an A.I. for a reason.  F.R.I.D.A.Y., drumroll."  F.R.I.D.A.Y. followed her orders and played a drumroll.

"The winning card is….." Steve announced.  "A GOOD SNIFF!!!"  You and Bucky erupted from your seats like a volcano.  Your hair started to glow and you floated in the air for a second.  Everyone saw you and thought you looked like a living candle.  Bucky hugged you and spun you around the room in his arms.  Bucky kissed you and you kissed him back.  Not a makeout, but just a long kiss, filled with passion and love.  

Sam and Clint got pissed that they didn't win, but they clapped for you, very slowly.  Peter clapped for you and cheered, but Tony just sighed and made gagging noises when he saw you kissing.  Nat was smiling at the two of you, and so was Steve.  They looked like proud parents, smiling in approval of how happy you and Bucky were.

"YES!! We won!!" Bucky shouted.

"Told ya we would!" You cheered.  "Take that, Birdbrains!"

"Yeah, yeah good job.  I'm going to bed." Tony groaned and headed up to the elevator, which led him to his room which was on the top floor.  You sighed and said goodnight anyways.

"I should call it a night," Clint said.

"Me too.  See ya tomorrow, lovebirds!" Nat said.  You and Bucky waved goodbye as the two of them headed to their rooms.

"Congratulations guys.  See ya tomorrow!" Steve said.

"They was cheatin." Sam bickered.

"Cmon birdbrain, lets go," Steve sighed.  Sam was bickering with Steve all the way to their rooms, and as they got further away, you could still hear them, which made you laugh.  The only people left in the room were you Bucky and Peter.

"I'm so happy that it worked," Peter said.  "Congrats by the way!"

"Thanks Peter!  I had so much fun!" you smiled.

"Yeah, it was great," Bucky agreed.  "I owe ya big time, Spiderling."

"Oh, thanks grandpa." Peter grinned.  "You have no idea what you owe me."  Then you guys cleaned up the remaining cards and headed back to your rooms.  Peter said goodnight to the two of you and you and the Winter Soldier headed to his room.

"When we get back to my room," Bucky said as you were walking.  "We earn our reward."

[musedblues]

date/relationship based on a bet feat. anyone of your choosing. 😘

Hello Jess! Wherever did you think up something like this? I’m steering a little bit away from the obvious choice on this one because I’m in a Gwil mood! 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Joe was your dearest friend. Yeah, you called each other when your tire went flat or he needed a ride to an audition, or your worlds seemed near ending, or whatever. But mostly, you had ridiculous fun. When you and Joe got together, there was a running joke for all your other friends to take cover. Because something always ended up happening. Broken lamps that bore the brunt of a really dumb joke. Innocent bystanders perplexed gazes as you and Joe went about disturbing the little peace held in the midday city- your friends embarrassed shuffle a few steps ahead of the pair of you. Furthest ahead was Gwilym. 

He could barely handle Joe, some days; said your auburn-haired friend. So when you came along to cause some trouble, Gwilym was always caught off guard. At first, you thought he sneered over being left out of a joke or two. But after your best attempts to clue him in, Gwilym seemed just as weary to join in your fun. So you took to pestering the guy, never too badly. Just a few jabs here and there. But somewhere in your light-hearted attempts to become Gwilym’s pal… you grew to become some kind of frenemies. You were nice enough, passing the salt to each other across fancy tables on nights out. Giving each other polite hellos and goodbyes. But Gwilym didn’t hide the way his glare landed on you when you joined Joe for you turn at some sleazy karaoke bar. And you were only encouraged to give him a reason to give you such unsettling looks. Your jabs became common, and Gwil fired back. 

And at the same steady pace that you’d grown a disdain for each other, tensions started to boil. You sat across the room, sharing sweets with Joe, while Ben occupied Gwilym, the two of you trading glares every now and again. Tonight the pair of you were set off simply over who got to have the last beer. Lucy took it in stride and insisted you and Gwilym stop bickering like toddlers.

“I bet you fifty bucks that Gwilym doesn’t actually hate you. And I bet the same amount that you don’t actually hate him.” Joe chirped, reaching for the plate full of chocolate covered strawberries you held onto. 

You barked a laugh, head thrown back, tears threatening to sting your eyes, the whole nine yards. And when your chuckles fizzled away you turned to notice Joe wasn’t laughing. 

“You cannot be serious.” You giggled even still, watching Joe give you the look. He was serious. 

“Ask him out. I’ll bet more that he’ll say yes.” 

“Fuck off.” You guffawed, suddenly too shy to search for Gwilym’s piercing gaze across the room. 

“Gwil!” Joe hollered, much to your chagrin. Worst still, Gwilym turned around. Joe proceeded to place an all-new bet, for everyone to hear. 

“Take this beautiful creature at my side on a date. Survive the whole night, and win free money.”

Your group of friends proceeded to place their own bets, mostly around how you and Gwilym would never make it the whole night, and how it would only end terribly for the both of you, and maybe everyone else too.

“Okay.” Gwilym shrugged, just before turning around to carry on chatting with Ben. You spent the rest of the night shouting at Joe for putting you in such emotional peril. 

You were entirely convinced Gwilym had only agreed so he could spend the whole night getting paid for arguing with you. You could have stood him up. You could show up and call him out. Actually, you’d planned on it. Till Ben mentioned something about giving Gwil a chance. The blonde rambled about this would be good for the two of you, how maybe you could settle your differences. And though this was all brought on by some kind of game, you decided to take it a bit more seriously. You were pretty tired of butting heads. Maybe this could be a good thing. 

But your hope wasn’t stronger than your nerves, as you walked up to the diner you’d planned to meet Gwil at. You were overcome with that old familiar wave of worry over what the two of you would get into this time.

He was there waiting. Dressed as nice as ever. And when you rushed over to apologize for lagging a couple of minutes behind, Gwilym only shrugged and assured you were alright. 

And when spent a while glancing over the menu, silence between you two became more awkward than weighted with its usual tension. 

“Okay so since we’re doing this, can we just… figure our shit out?” You gave a nervous little laugh. Gwilym shifted in his seat with a nod, suggesting you speak first. 

You explained how you’d only started bugging him in hopes he’d play along. How you’d been so eager to get to know Gwilym, based on all the things Joe shared about the guy to you. You felt sorry for how drastically the relationship between you and Gwilym had taken a turn. Sure, the group had their share of dramatics. But things with you and Gwilym were unlike anything with anyone else. 

“Oh God, okay.” Gwil heaved a sigh, taking a swig of his drink and glancing up to you with a confession on the tip of his tongue. You felt better for explaining yourself but knew better than to hope things would be different. Gwilym’s counter had yet to come. 

“I never hated you.” He began simply, in a calm warm tone. A smile flickered across his lips as he went on to explain that he was just shy, at first. Gwilym had been eager to know you too, but went quiet every time the chance arose. He said you were always occupied mucking about with Joe anyway. Gwilym said he was never weary of the ruckus you and Joe created. He said he was actually a little selfishly jealous. And then you found out Gwilym hated bickering as much as you did.

“You liked me?” You asked, a little stunned by the realization. 

“To be perfectly honest, I still sort of do.” Gwilym reached for his drink again, looking dispirited. And all your hope and worry and fear and faux loathing vanished in a flash. And though you were still surprised, you weren’t afraid to speak up.

“Well, I can’t agree to a second date if you only like me a little bit.” You teased because it was all you knew how to do in the midst of such an unexpected moment. You hadn’t been prepared for any such talk like this with Gwilym. But the conversation wasn’t at all unwelcomed. 

“Well... seems we’ll be richer by the end of this one. Perhaps I can take you someplace nice.” Gwilym grinned, and so did you. You were about to be a dash more financially stable, and much happier indeed.

Almost 600 Celebration Blurbs

[mininacl]

surely you must know (how much i love you so)

my fic for @batfam-big-bang

summary: Timothy Drake, adopted son of billionaire by day, superhero Red Robin by night. He's used to keeping secrets, but one secret he's having trouble keeping is his feelings for his best friend.

word count: 7.1K

Tim sits at his desk, staring blankly at the screen. He watches as the text cursor blinks. The essay is due tomorrow, but he hasn’t started, hell, he hasn’t even written his name on the document. Tim’s mind is distracted by all the unsolved GCPD cases. He has to solve them and let the families have the peace of knowing the criminals have been caught. But having to balance his day-life and his night-life is taking a toll on him. He already feels the effects of staying up for 36 hours without any sort of sleep. He can’t pay attention, he can’t eat, his motivation is lagging, and he is having a hard time speaking. Those are normal side effects, and he ignores the little voice in the back of his head saying yeah, of depression. He stays up so much that it doesn’t really affect him as much as it used to. Tim knows how to focus with no sleep, but that was for cases and not for essays.

Tim stares at the screen a few seconds more before closing his laptop. He rubs his eyes, stands up from his desk and stretches, feeling his back pop and he sighs in relief. He grabs his cup that says “fr e sh voca do”. Conner got it for Tim’s birthday last year. It has been his go-to coffee cup since. He walks downstairs to the kitchen, wanting to fill up his cup again and maybe get something to eat. Cassandra is sitting at the table, eating some strawberries while she looks outside. She looks lost in her thoughts, but she still hears Tim come into the kitchen. She turns to him and gives him a small smile. Tim smiles and waves back.

“So, Cass, how are you doing?” Tim asks Cass, sitting down across from her.

“ I’m doing good, ” Cass signs. Tim reaches over and takes one of the strawberries.

Plopping it into his mouth, Tim says “You sure? No one is ever ‘good’ in this family.”

“ I am doing good. Nothing else to it. How are you doing? Have you slept yet? ”

“Naw, I haven’t slept yet. I’m doing as good as I can with the lack of sleep.”

“ You need to sleep. ”

Tim looks at Cass. Cass is picking at the leaves on the strawberries. She never picks at her food.The only time she does pick at her food, or really anything in general, is when she is upset or has something on her mind.

“I will sleep when you tell me what’s going on”

Cass pauses. She stops eating the strawberries and looks up at Tim, she looks surprised that he knew something was up. Tim pulls the container of strawberries closer to him and  stares at Cass, waiting for her to spill. A few moments pass before Cass reaches over to grab the strawberries again. She looks like she’s hesitating to tell him, not wanting to talk about something. They sit in silence for a while, the only noises that can be heard are the ticking of a clock and the sound of Tim chewing on strawberries. Cass’s eyes drift to the window that overlooks the garden. Her eyes stay focused on one rose for a while before she looks back at Tim.

“ I have been thinking a lot recently. ” Cass signs.

“What have you been thinking about?” Tim asks Cass. He stops eating, wanting to show Cass that his full attention is on her.

“ I’ve realized something...about me, ” Cass pauses, she's shaking a lot. Tim reaches over to place his hand on her arm, trying to calm her down. They sit in silence for a bit. Cass slowly starts to calm down but Tim can tell she is still nervous.

“Hey, you don’t have to tell.” Tim says, breaking the silence that surrounded them. “I’m not going to force you or bring it up, I’m just here for some food” He adds a little laugh at the end, hoping that it makes Cass comfortable. Cass smiles at him a little before she grabs another strawberry, raises her arms.

“ No, I need to. I want to, ” Cass takes a deep breath, before signing again. “ I am asexual. ”

Tim tries not to look a little surprised, but it’s hard not to. He notices that Cass looks worried. Worried isn’t the right word. Cass looks scared. Tim smiles at Cass, before taking a sip of his coffee.

“I have something to admit too.” Cass looks at Tim, intrigued.

“I am pansexual. I could love anyone.” Tim smiles and laughs a bit. This is the first time he has admitted outloud that he is pansexual. Cass smiles back at Tim, happy that she wasn’t the only one who is in the LGBTQ+ community. They both look relieved at the confession. Tim thought he was alone, and perhaps Cass thought that no one would accept her for being asexual. But it isn’t like that. Tim still loves his sister and he's happy that she trusts him enough with this information.

“Thank you, Tim.” Cass smiles. She moves to get up, wanting to hug Tim and to put the strawberries away. 

Tim follows suit, telling Cass as he got up, “I need to go and work on the cursed boy.” 

Tim is grabbing his coffee from the table, when Cass stops him. How she got over to Tim so quickly is a mystery but it's not surprising. She places the strawberries down, and moves Tim’s coffee away from him, both to avoid a spill and to keep Tim from  trying to grab it. Cass wraps her arms around Tim, he hugs her back, squeezing her a little. When Tim moves to get out of the hug, Cass doesn’t move. As much as Tim wants to question her, he doesn’t. Cass finally releases her grip on him, picks up the strawberries and places them in the fridge, before walking away.

Tim goes back upstairs and sits down again at his desk, and starts to write. The talk with Cass has sparked some inspiration. Tim writes and writes all day. By the time he is done, the sun has set. He hasn’t eaten since his talk with Cass, and he wants to eat, but he has a craving for fast food. He grabs his phone and shoots Conner a text, asking to meet up at BatBurger. Instantly, Conner says he will be there in a few minutes, and Tim rushes to get ready. His clothes are wrinkled and his hair is a mess but it doesn’t matter. After a few days of no sleep, he doesn’t care about a lot. Tim grabs his phone and keys, and heads downstairs. He passes by Alfred, tells the butler that he is having dinner with Conner. He's too busy rushing out that he doesn’t hear Alfred's reply. Alfred watches the boy run out of the house, shaking his head. 

Tim races down the streets on his motorcycle, hoping to get to BatBurger before Conner. He narrowly misses being hit by a truck, and the truck driver honks but Tim just ignores it and continues on his way. It takes a few minutes, but he pulls into the BatBurger parking lot. Tim parks and looks around, not seeing Conner anywhere. With a big smile, internally cheering that he arrived first, Tim walks into BatBurger, scanning the place in case of threats. His smile drops when he notices Conner sitting in a booth by the window.

“How is it that I live only 20 minutes away, and you live in a different city, yet you always manage to beat me here?” Tim asks Conner as he walks up to the booth.

“Because I have some time management skills. Plus, I can fly.” Conner tells Tim, smiling smugly.

“You know what? I don’t need the sass Kon-El.” Tim was going to sit down, but instead he turns and walks up to the counter and waits in line. Conner shakes his head as Tim walks away. Tim orders some food for the both of them, he knows what Conner likes by now. He turns back to Conner, and they start to make faces at each other from across the restaurant. Conner is laughing softly at the booth, but Tim can’t laugh since he doesn’t want to seem crazy. The order arrives and Tim grabs it and walks back to the booth.

“Here you go, Kon. You owe me.” Tim says as he places the food down and sits across from Conner.

“You were the one who asked me to meet you here…but fine.” Conner steals one of Tim’s fries, even though Tim made sure to get him his own fries. Tim tries to slap Conner’s hand away but is a little too slow.

Tim feels at ease with Conner, it is so easy to talk to him. He feels safer around Conner. In some moments he freezes, words dying from his mouth when Conner smiles at him. Tim is in love, but he is too scared to say it out loud. He is scared that he would break Conner’s trust and he would lose him. They are best friends and admitting something that big could ruin the friendship. But Tim wants to kiss Conner, and oh so badly he wants to admit that he loves him. Tim knows he doesn’t have to hide his heart, but it is scary. He shouldn’t be afraid of the words he wants to say. This game of love should be played out loud, but Tim is scared, he knows how people like to talk. He is the adopted son of a billionaire, the CEO of Wayne Enterprise, and a hero. He has faced so much, from rumors to fake scandals, this shouldn’t bother him. Yet it does. It shakes him to the core.

“-im. Timothy. Timmy. Tim. You in there?” Conner asks as he pokes Tim on the head. Tim shakes his head, not realizing he got lost in his thoughts and worries.

“Yeah, I’m here. You didn’t have to poke me.” Tim takes a sip of his drink. Surprisingly it isn’t coffee but water. He needs to drink something else besides coffee for now. Or at least for this meal, anyway.

“I called your name several times and you still didn’t answer me. So I had to poke you.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“Yes, I did.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“No, you didn’t.”

They go back and forth for a while before Tim finally admits that Conner had to poke him. Sighing in defeat, Tim munches on fries. Conner just smiles at Tim. They finish eating and sit in silence. Tim wants to tell Conner in that moment but he can’t. He told Cass earlier and that was enough secret telling for him today. Tim pulls out his phone, checking the time. He pretends he has to leave, in reality, he was getting more nervous around Conner. He was so close to telling Conner he loves him.

“Lets hang out more, Tim. It's nice to get away from our crazy lives.” 

Tim gets up as Conner finishes talking, putting their trash onto the tray. Conner stands up and puts a hand on Tim’s shoulder, turning Tim to face him. Conner pulls Tim in for a quick hug before grabbing the tray and walking away from Tim. Conner turns once more at the door, and gives Tim a smile before exiting Bat Burger and flying away. Tim stands there. His heart is beating fast, and he is blushing a little. He shakes his head before exiting BatBurger and heading to his motorcycle. He drives back home, a smile on his face.

Tim gets home and goes to his room without saying anything to anyone. Even though it hasn’t been a busy day, he still feels exhausted. From having to do the essay, to coming out to Cass, and dinner with Conner, he needs to relax for a bit before having to leave for patrol. He puts on some music, and lays in bed, staring up at the ceiling fan, watching it go around and around. Kiss the Boy by Keiynan Lonsdale plays from the small speaker Tim has. He knows the song, hell he plays it on repeat. It hits home for him. Not knowing what to do after all that happened today, Tim gets up and goes to work on some of the case files he has in his room. The song keeps playing as he works.

I might not say the one thing on my mind cause it’s too tough

But we lose our chance when we don’t try

On second thought yeah I think I might

The lyrics make Tim think he should tell Conner. If I don't tell him, I run the risk of losing Conner to someone else, but if I tell him I run the risk of losing Conner if he doesn’t love me back, Tim thinks. He doesn’t know what to do, all the different possible outcomes form in his head. Tim shakes his head, wanting to focus on the unsolved cases rather than his feelings for Conner.

Don’t want to hide

Don’t want to hide

Most of my life I’ve been terrified

Spending my days always questioning

Am I wrong to love a man

I realize

I realize

Ain’t gotta hide this heart of mine

I’m gonna fight just to let you know

To open your light and let it glow

Tim pauses. He rewinds the music and listens to the lyrics again. He feels as if they were meant for him. He has never realised that deep down he questions if it is wrong to love Conner. The unspoken fear that has made its home in his heart long before he even knew he loved Conner, yet in his heart he also knows that it doesn’t matter if people say it's wrong. All that matters is that he wouldn’t have to hide anymore. The fears he has have stopped him, but after hearing that it isn’t just him that feels like that a burst of courage came to Tim. Tim grabs his phone and texts Conner before he can stop himself.

“I love you.” “And I don’t mean as friends”

The burst of courage that had come, was now gone. Tim looks at the texts in panic. He throws his phone onto his bed and jumps up. Pacing around, he doesn’t hear the chime of a text alert from his phone. His breathing starts to get heavier, and tears form in his eyes as he paces, worrying over how Conner will react. After wearing the carpet thin, Tim finally picks up his phone again, heart pounding. He sits down and prepares himself for rejection. Tim unlocks his phone and checks the text conversation between him and Conner.

“I love you too” “And I definitely dont mean as friends lmao”

Tim stares at the texts in shock before letting out a small laugh of relief and joy. He wipes the tears from his eyes and grabs the water bottle he keeps by his bed. After chugging the water and throwing it into the trash bin, Tim gets up and shakes his hands, grinning like a fool. He has to get his head into the game. Patrol was starting soon, and if he didn’t make it to the cave in time Bruce would get worried. Tim looks at his texts again, smiling at the screen, before locking his phone and placing it under his pillow. He can’t risk having siblings going through his phone. Tim leaves his room, heading to the cave.

Tim arrives at the Batcave just in time. Bruce looks over at Tim and raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything. Jason is too busy cleaning his guns to notice that Tim arrived, Dick is spinning in the chair that sits in front of the computer, and Damian, just like Jason, is cleaning his weapons. Stephanie, Duke and Cass are nowhere to be seen. Bruce gives a quick rundown on where he and the others are going to be patrolling. Dick gets the docks to watch for Penguin’s gun trading, Jason and Tim get from Amusement Mile to Sprang River to watch for any rogues, Damian and Bruce get from Sprang River to Robinson Park, and Stephanie, Duke, and Cass are covering the rest of Gotham. Everyone gets suited up, chatting a little. Cass is putting gadgets into her suit as Tim walks over to her. She smiles softly at Tim. Tim grabs one of the gadgets out to put in his utility belt, smiling at Cass as he does so. Cass reaches up to pat his head, and walks away, heading in the direction of Steph.

“Why are you so smiley?” Jason asks Tim as he puts on his holsters.

“I had a good day. That’s all,” Tim grins a little at Jason before placing his mask on and hoping on his Red Robin motorcycle and driving away. It's time to fight criminals. 

Tim still hasn't figured out when he should write his essays. The rain hits against the window as the noise of cars passes by. The noise provides background noise for Tim. It is a soft buzz of noise since his dorm is on the third floor. His room is only illuminated by the glow of a desk lamp and the light of a computer screen. It's 3AM and Tim is just now eating dinner. A microwave dinner at that, but it is still dinner, Alfred would be disappointed in him but with living in dorms, this was all he had at the moment. This essay is easier since it deals with his major — computer science. All Tim has to do is explain the different parts of a piece of computer software. The problem is between college life, a day job, a night job, patrol, and secret dates with Kon, Tim doesn’t have the time to do it all. He could technically get rid of his two jobs but that means relying on Bruce’s trust fund and as much as he wants to use the money, he also wants to be normal for once. Or really, as normal as he can be.

“FUCK!” Tim yells before looking around his dorm. He is alone but the walls are thin. After not hearing anyone or any yelling, Tim gets up to make coffee. How the hell did I forget coffee? It was shocking. He runs his fingers through his hair as the coffee maker does its thing and makes his coffee. As Tim grabs his black coffee, he quotes John Mulaney under his breath, “One black coffee”. 

He walks back to his desk and moves the graph paper he has around to make room for the coffee. He pulls out his phone to text Kon but pauses, then puts down his phone. He has to focus, essay first, then Kon. Tim takes a sip of his coffee before cracking his fingers and getting to work. 

4AM arrives quicker than Tim expects. He has just finished his essay and has to sleep at least little before classes start. He regrets having to take morning class, but it was the only option that works with his schedule. 9AM-12PM he is in classes, 1PM-4PM he is at FRATZ BEANS café — a fraternity café at the college, yeah a café just for the fraternity people — as a barista, 7PM-12AM he is at a local diner — bless the owners, they gave him a part-time job — working as a waiter, and then depending on the day, he either goes out on patrol until crime slows, on a date with Kon or working on school. 

Today, it is a date with Kon. They are going to meet up at 1AM near the small park on campus. It isn’t really a park, just a patch of grass, flowers, and trees. Tim’s excited to see Kon tonight. The last date was at an arcade and a 24/7 hour diner. Tonight's date is up to Tim. He hasn’t figured out a back-up plan just in case things go south - which knowing Gotham, that could happen where they will be going - or how to upstage Kon. He has ideas but nothing can work within his schedule, besides one idea. Gotham has a drive-in movie playing at 2AM, it's late for a movie but early for Gotham. Tim shakes his head, he has to sleep before class.

All Star by Smash Mouth plays as the clock hits 8AM. Tim groans as he stretches in bed, he only has an hour to shower, eat, and head to class. Tim sits up and looks around his room for a moment before getting up and grabbing clothes. Tim may have a dorm to himself but it doesn’t have a bathroom in it, he has to go to one of the shared bathrooms on the floor. Tim grabs his bathroom bag before slipping on his flip-flops and heading to the showers. The showers luckily aren’t that busy in the morning so Tim is able to slip in and out in under 20 minutes. After showering, brushing his teeth, and changing clothes, Tim heads back to his dorm to pack up his backpack for his classes. He has statistics, programming, music theory — why he chose that class, no one knows — advanced coding, and business. Some of those he has to do because Bruce made him. Why, he still has no idea.

Tim fixes his denim jacket, makes his hoodie strings even lengths, and puts on his sneakers. He sits on his bed for a few seconds, messing with the holes in his jeans. Unplugging his phone from the charger and grabbing his backpack, Tim checks the time and sees that he has enough time to go to the small coffee shop in the campus to grab a bagel and coffee.

One of the workers, Alec, greets Tim as he walks into the Student Center. The center has some classes but it’s mostly small food shops and restaurants. Tim nods to Alec and walks to the coffee shop, the one working barista smiles at Tim and asks what he would like. Tim gives them his usual order, espresso Americano and a lightly toasted bagel with cream cheese. Tim slides over his student card and the barista scans the card before handing it back, he goes to the pickup counter and checks his phone but it doesn’t take long for him to get his order. After thanking the worker, he heads to class. During class, Tim can’t stop checking the time, wishing that 1AM would come faster.

The rest of the day goes by uneventfully fast. Or as fast as it can given that today is busier than normal. Tim’s exhausted by the time he goes to his diner job but it’s only a few more hours before he gets to see Kon, so he powers through the exhaustion. When he turns to look at the clock, he notices it’s 12:30AM, only a couple more hours until he sees Kon. They are going to take one of Bruce’s trucks — or really his only truck — to a drive-in movie. Dick had driven the truck down to the college earlier in the day. It was no surprise that Dick knew Tim’s schedule, and Tim managed to grab the keys from Dick when he conveniently passed by on his way to another class. Tim has already packed a bag for the drive-in and snacks during his free time he had yesterday.

Finishing his shift at the diner, Tim goes back to his dorm, waiting for Kon to come flying in. Tim can’t contain his excitement to see Kon. He starts pacing back and forth, checking the time every second. When Kon finally knocks on the dorm door, Tim runs to the door and yanks it open. He pulls Kon into a hug and gives him a kiss. Kon kisses Tim back and moves his arms to hold Tim closer, kissing him a little harder. Tim pulls away before their kissing can get more passionate.

Out of breath, Tim says “Are you ready for the movie?” He’s still in Kon’s arms.

“Yeah. Are you able to get us there with no accidents?”

Tim moves out of Kon’s arms to grab the bag of snacks and drinks, and two blankets. “Hey! I don’t get into accidents! That’s Dick!” Tim laughs at the memory of Dick’s last accident. It was in the Batmobile and since then Dick has been banned from the vehicle.

“Sure, it’s just Dick,” Kon jokingly says.

Tim grabs a random object — which turns out to be an empty water bottle — and throws it at Kon. Kon catches it, only to throw it back at Tim, who, not expecting it to come back like a boomerang, yells in surprise when he gets hit with the water bottle. Tim stares at Kon in disbelief before walking out of the dorm, leaving Kon in his dust. Kon just laughs at Tim and follows after. Tim throws the bag and blankets into the backseats of the truck and moves to hop in the driver’s seat.

Grabbing Tim’s arm, Kon tells him, “You shouldn’t drive. I know how to drive a truck, you don’t.”

Tim said nothing as Kon gets into the driver seat. Kon starts the truck as Tim goes to the passenger seat. They sit in the truck for a while, before Kon starts to drive off towards the drive-in. Tim connects to the bluetooth system that the truck has. My Own Hero by Andy Grammer plays through the speakers. Kon drums his fingers to the beat of the song on the steering wheel, and Tim looks out the window, watching as Gotham passes by. It was luck that no one was out tonight. It’s always luck when they go on a date and not a lot of people are out. They want to keep the relationship a secret for as long as they can. It’s hard to keep, but Tim is scared of what his family — minus Cass — would think. He’s scared of how that would affect him in the public’s eye. Tim isn’t really known for caring about publicity, but this time it's different. This time it affects Kon as well, he would be pushed into the spotlight. Tim can’t stop thinking as he leans his head on the window, sighing softly.

“Timmy, you okay?” Kon looks over at Tim for a second before focusing back on the road.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Tim, with his head still on the window, turns to Kon and smiles.

Kon can tell something is bothering Tim but he didn’t want to push. His family does that enough and Kon doesn’t want to add to it. After a few minutes, they pull up to the drive-in. Tim sits up straight and digs into the bag for his wallet. He hands Kon the money for the drive-in tickets. They get their tickets and go to find a parking spot, the drive-in is mostly empty, save for a few other couples and families. Kon parks the truck directly in the middle and reaches behind them to grab the bag and blankets before Tim can react. Tim just looks at Kon while smiling. They get out and Tim opens the tailgate, hopping onto the truck bed. Kon places the bag down before throwing one side of a blanket to Tim. They fix the truck bed to their liking before Kon hops into the truck bed with the bag. Tim grabs the bag and pulls out a drink, Kon doesn’t even have to ask to know its coffee. Sometimes he wonders if Tim loves coffee more than him. Tim digs in the bag and pulls out a couple of glow sticks.

“Glow sticks? Really?”

“Yes really. Are you judging me?” Tim asks as he opens the package and breaks some glow sticks. Kon looks at Tim in awe at how beautiful Tim was. The glow of the glow sticks provides an angelic glow under Tim. It's dark out with only a few lights out and shining. The nearest one is a few meters down in the next car. The movie hasn’t started yet, so the only light lightning up the area around the two are the glow sticks.

Tim looks over at Kon while he throws the glow sticks around the truck bed. “You okay?”

Kon snaps out of it. “Yeah yeah, my bad. Here let me help you.” 

Kon grabs another package of glow sticks and opens it before snapping them. Before Kon can throw them around the truck bed, Tim grabs them and the connecters. Tim makes a bracelet out of two glow sticks and places it on Kon’s lap. Kon picks it up gently and looks at it. Tim, not being able to stop himself, grabs Kon’s hand and the glow stick. Tim slips the glow stick onto Kon’s hand, or more accurately, his arm. He picks up Kon’s hand and kisses the back of his hand instinctively. Tim not so gracefully drops Kon’s hand and takes a sip of coffee, trying to calm down the blush that appears on his face. Kon didn’t say anything but he smiles and grabs the glow sticks Tim stole before throwing them around the truck bed. The truck bed has a range of different colored glow sticks. The whole rainbow made an appearance on the truck bed. Fitting, Kon thinks.

Tim jumps as the movie screen makes a noise. It starts to countdown from 10. The two boys get settled in as the movie begins. Kon looks surprised at the movie choice.

“Megamind? Really?” Kon is unimpressed by the movie, but is impressed at the amount of couples here.

“Yes, Megamind. You got a problem with it?” Tim sasses. Kon can only shake his head.

As the movie plays, both Tim and Kon can’t help but sneak glances at each other. In that moment Tim wants to shout from the rooftops about his love for Kon. He wants to hold Kon in the streets, kiss him, do normal couple things. But his fear is holding him back. He focuses back on the movie.

The movie ends, Tim and Kon stretch out and they look at each other before laughing. Out of all the movies Tim could have picked, he picked Megamind. Only Tim would do that. Kon is the first to stop laughing. He grins as Tim keeps laughing his head off. Picking up the glow sticks and throwing them into the bag, Kon becomes so focused on cleaning that he doesn't hear Tim stop laughing. As Kon turns around, he jumps, almost punching Tim in the face. Tim is standing there, doing the Spooky Scary Skeleton dance, not that well either. Tim looks like a car dealership balloon person, just all wiggles. Kind of like a worm string.

“Mother of goose! What are you doing?” Kon holds his free hand to his chest, trying to calm his heart.

“For someone who has super hearing you definitely are deaf.” Tim says as he grabs a Swedish Fish that was lying on the blanket. He throws it in the air and catches it in his mouth. Kon glares at Tim and throws a glow stick that is lying around them. Tim, just like earlier, can’t dodge the incoming missile. A battle of throwing whatever was in reach ensured. Tim is getting hit left and right while Kon is catching all things thrown at him.

“I surrender! I surrender!” Tim has his hands in the air, not wanting to get hit again and again anymore.

“For someone trained by Batman, you definitely can’t dodge,” Kon says jokingly. Tim glares at Kon before smiling. It isn’t an evil smile but a content one. This is the first time he has had fun these past few weeks. With everything going on, having fun was something Tim could only dream of, but now he feels at peace. He’s happy. They stare at each other for a few minutes before cleaning up the truck bed. Everything, trash included and blankets excluded, went into the bag. They climb out of the truck bed and back into the truck. Kon is still the driver. Tim turns on the radio this time, and rolls down the window. 

He feels as if they’re in a scene out of a movie. The wind from the movement of the truck hitting his face, the soft playing of the radio, the faint noise from the truck, the smell of Gotham air, the sight of clouds, the slight shine from the moon; it all hits Tim as Kon was driving him back to the dorm. Tim turns to rest his arms on the window and stuck his head outside. He doesn’t know it but he has silent tears rolling down his cheeks. Emotions swirl inside him, wanting to come out but not being allowed to. He wants to show the world his love, but the fear of rejection was stronger than ever. If only love was simple.

Arriving a little past 3AM, Conner pulls into the dorm parking lot, parking the truck and turning to Tim.

“I had a fun night. It is in my Top 5.” Kon tells Tim as he reaches behind to grab the bag and blankets for Tim.

“It was last minute” Tim stares at Kon, not believing he blurted that out. Kon just laughs at Tim.

“Oh, I know.”

“How do you know?”

“I know you, Tim.”

They stare at each other before leaning in for a goodnight kiss. Once breaking the kiss, they get out of the truck, waving goodbye to each other. Tim walks back to the building his dorm is located in, while Kon flies back to Metropolis. Another day, and another date down. Tim smiles as he goes to his room. Once arriving, he flops onto his bed, bouncing a little as he does so, and goes to sleep.

A few weeks pass before their next date, and this time it was Kon’s turn to choose the date. All the information Tim gets is to be ready at 1AM and wear clothes he would be okay to fly in, so Tim knows it’s at least out of Gotham. He figures it’s probably back at the Kent’s farmhouse but Tim promised not to go all detective mode. It’s a slow day, which was shocking, since on Fridays both the cafe and diner are usually busier than normal but today was slow. Tim manages to get two breaks at the diner instead of his normal one. Hell, the owners give him dinner on the house. Tim still pays for it out of pocket but it's nice to know that the owners will give him a meal on the house. Tim brings the dinner home to eat, just a cheeseburger and fries with a Coca Cola. 

Tim starts to do his school work, eating as he does so. Crumbs from the burger get on his desk, and he half-heartedly wipes them away but it's not that big of a deal. Besides, he is just waiting for 1AM to arrive. Focused on school work, he doesn’t hear the knock on the window. The window slides open - how, Tim doesn’t know - and Kon steps in. In an instant, a batarang is thrown his way. Kon reaches up and grabs the batarang, stopping it inches from his face.

“How did you get in?” Tim wonders.

“I’m standing by the window, World's Greatest Detective.”

Tim says nothing before throwing another batarang. This time he aims it away from Kon, but the intent is there. Kon pulls the batarang out of the wall and hands them to Tim.

“That’s property damage.”

“They don’t care. Well, they do but a lot worse has happened in other dorms. Before you ask, don’t ask.” Tim tucks the batarangs away. He stands up, grabs his phone and a small bag before hugging Kon. Kon grabs Tim’s hand and goes back to the window. He slides out of the window, and hovers just outside. Tim slides out and sits on the window ledge before he reaches out and grabs Kon. He turns, closes the window, and Kon flies them into the night sky.

“A whole new world...” Kon sings into Tim’s ear as he screams from the sudden elevation change. Tim stops screaming as they slow down and stares at the clouds they passed. He reaches out and touches a cloud. It feels light, like nothing he had ever touched before. The cloud disappears from his hands as they continue to fly. It’s a quick trip, given that Kon is flying fast. Tim doesn’t even know they are in Metropolis until Kon touches his shoulder.

“Hey Tim, we are here”

“Huh? Oh, that was quick” Tim looks around, noticing that the Kent’s farm has more animals than normal. He doesn’t point it out but knows it has to do with Damian influencing Jon, asking for more animals. Kon gently grabs Tim’s hand and pulls him inside. The house smells of warm apple pie, with a hint of oakwood and smoke. The only noise that can be heard is from the animals.

“Where’s Clark, Lois, and Jon?” It's never this silent in the Kent house. Much like the manor, noise is a constant thing. Jon and Kon may be the only kids, or young adult in Kons’ case, but they make a lot of noise. Hell, even Clark makes a lot of noise. It’s like those Kryptonians just love noise.

Kon laughs, breaking the silence in the house. “Jon is at a sleepover with some school friends, Cl-”

Tim interrupts him, “Wait, Jon has more friends than just Damian?”

“Yeah...as I was saying Clark and Lois are out ‘working’”

“So they’re pulling a Bruce?”

“....yeah.” Kon laughs at that. He wonders if Tim has been spending some time with Jason. Jason is the only one that insults Bruce so much, and Tim saying that is definitely insulting Bruce.

“Am I wrong?” Tim holds out his hands. He looks like a meme, and Conner wishes he has his phone out to take a picture.

They make their way to the kitchen. Conner had mentioned something about a campfire earlier in the day, but Tim isn’t sure if Conner really means a fire. It's something that Tim isn’t used to. Or, well, at least in a positive way. Tim has to pause and think about what Conner means. All while he is thinking about the campfire, Conner somehow gets the ingredients for s'mores and waits at the door for Tim. He waits for Tim to get out of his own mind. It takes a while before Tim realizes Conner is waiting for him. He smiles at Conner before they walk out to the small fire pit outside.

Conner hands the ingredients to Tim before lighting the fire pit. With what, Tim doesn’t even know. The fire roars to life, the heat is intense for a second, but it soon calms down. Tim places the s’mores ingredients down, looking around for any sticks. It takes a few minutes of wandering around, before Tim finds some decent sticks. He walks back to where Conner and the fire is at, holds up the sticks with a smile. Conner shakes his head before nodding towards the fire pokers. Tim looks defeated, his arms dropping to his side. It takes only a beat of silence, saved for the noise of crickets and the fire, for Tim to throw one of the sticks in Kon’s direction. For onlookers, it may look like their relationship is full of throwing random objects at each other. That may be the truth, but they wouldn’t have it any other way. The stick throwing went on for a few minutes, before the throwing and laughs calmed down. Tim falls to the grassy ground, taking in the feel of the grass on him. Conner walks over to Tim, sitting next to Tim’s horizontal figure. They take the moment to catch their breath. The moment didn’t feel real. The area surrounding them fades. It was just Conner and him. The sound of the fire crackling brings them back to reality. Conner stands, reaching his hand out to Tim as he does so. Tim grabs his hand, getting pulled up by Conner. They walk over to the fire, grabbing a poker and finally starting to do the s’mores. Tim’s first s’more, the marshmallow went up in flames. Conner is too busy laughing his ass off to help extinguish the marshmallow. Tim throws the marshmallow to the ground, stomping on the flame. The flame, luckily, went out, but Tim knows Conner will not let him live this down. After that, the s’mores weren’t as hard or as up in flames.

By the time they were full, most of the s’mores were gone. The feeling in the air was full of nostalgia. For Tim, doing this reminds him of the days where crime-fighting wasn’t his whole life. It’s these small moments with Conner that bring him to a new plane of life, a new reality. Being able to be a kid again. Being able to feel the stickiness of marshmallows as he makes the s’mores. Feeling the comfort of a fire, the warmth, the feeling of home. These moments, these moments make Tim think that continuing is worth it all.

So lost in thought, Tim didn’t notice that Conner had moved. Tim blinks a few times, pulling himself out of his mind, and scans the area. Even if he promised no detective brain, Tim can’t stop himself from worrying, from bringing out his detective mindset. Tim gets up, still looking around for Conner, and walks to the house. He notices that the door has been left open, and rushes inside. Conner’s standing in the middle of the living room, music is playing from some speakers that the Kents have.

“What is going on?” Tim asks, looking around and making sure nothing got damaged.

“Waiting for you” Conner moves to Tim, guiding him to the middle of the living room.

“Why?”

Conner just smiles. He places one arm behind him, bowing slightly, holding out his other hand. He looks down for a second before looking up, asking “Can I have this dance?”

Tim is speechless. It takes a few seconds before Tim grabs Conners hand. Conner leads them into a swaying motion, his hands on Tim’s waist, and Tim’s around his neck. They sway to the rhythm of the music.

The song changes but the swaying doesn’t stop. Tim leans into Conner, pushing him on the back of the neck a little, bringing their foreheads to touch. Tim looks at Conner before closing his eyes. They gently sway to the music as the night continues on, blissfully content to stay in this moment forever.

[stars-in-my-universe]

Bad Idea: Part 5

Summary: When pop star Trixie can’t get her act together, her team makes a deal with the NHL…one that she can’t turn down. When NHL player Tyler Seguin can’t seem to get himself under control his team decides to thrust a certain Pop star into his life. Can the two play nice?

Warnings: Cussing. Eventually there will be some smutty goodness but for now enjoy the slow burn.

Note: I’m sorry for the lag guys, life’s been busy. But here’s the next part, I promise you asshole Tyler is almost over. Feel free to let me know what you think, send me prompts as well, I love writing for you guys. Lyrics are from the song Flathead by the fratellis

“She's the second best killer that I have ever seen They don't come much more sick than you I could go on if you want me to It's just so wrong, so very nice I told you once, and you killed me twice I saw you one time at the back of the club Chewing on glass and a ticket stub...”

Trixie sat at the conference table unsure of what she was supposed to say; she had her manager and her PR person on both sides not saying much. Trixie’s foot was shaking nervously up and down, unsure as to why considering for once she didn’t do anything wrong. For once she was in the clear but she couldn’t shake the sinking feeling she had in her stomach. 

Jim cleared his throat  looking down at his watch, of course Tyler’s team was also here considering it was his mess that had her sitting here so early in the morning. Looking down at her watch she realized Tyler was now 20 minutes, but it was the slam of the conference room door that made Trixie look up. 

In walked Tyler, and he looked wrecked. He had sunglasses on and grey sweat pants with a shirt, he looked like he had a long night and Trixie knew exactly why. Without saying a word to anyone Tyler sat down and leaned back in his chair crossing his hands over his chest.This was going to be a long meeting. 

Trixie bit her lip already knowing what this was about. She watched as his manager threw magazine cover after magazine onto the table in front of them. Each had some sort of headline about Tyler. There was even some photos of him at the club with his ex. Trixie grabbed one of them and traced the cover of it with her nail. She remembered getting the call about Tyler being out and drunk. 

She had closed her notebook, finally done with a new song, she just had to send it in and see what needed to be adjusted, smiling she put everything away and went to turn the lights off to go to bed until her phone started ringing. It wasn’t too late but it was still late enough so That no one would be calling Her. Picking up her phone she glanced at the screen and sighed when she saw it was Jim Calling her. She remembered being questioned as to Why Tyler was out at the club without her, how He had posted on his Instagram Already and why she wasn’t with him. 

Truth be told she didn’t even know he had went out today, they hadn’t talked Much since the barbecue, small Texts here and there and that was it. Trixie had told them that she didn’t know and that she was at home. Hanging up she went to bed but the anxiety set and she knew there was going to be hell to pay in the morning. Which she wasn’t wrong, the next morning she had six phone calls from management and two From Tyler. She called management back first who had told her that her that they were holding a mandatory meeting the next morning, which is How she found herself in the conference room.

“We are paying trixie to date you, tyler. The biggest pop star right now and you basically Spit all over her image. The world knows about you two and you decided this was the route to Go?” Monty was pissed and trixie didn’t know what to say. 

“The media never cared before,” Tyler mumbled. Trixie cringed, that wasn’t really what they were looking for. Jim slammed a hand on the table making everyone jump.

“Are you 25 or 12? You’re in the media now because you’re dating her. They keep track of her not you, the only reason why they care about you because they want you to slip up and make Her look like a fool Which you did, when you met up With a random girl and got piss drunk.” Trixie shifted in her seat and cleared her throat. Looking down at the magazine cover again she could feel everyone’s stare on her. 

“It’s not a random, it’s his ex girlfriend.” Trixie looked up and stared straight at Tyler who had a scowl on his face but the sunglasses he was wearing were blocking the glare he was sending Her way. 

“Tyler, you signed a contract you-“ 

“Then breach the contract. This is clearly Not working out. Dating her isn’t working.” Trixie thought he’d stop there. She was wrong, so very wrong. He was now Standing up, kicking away the chair He was sitting in and bracing his hands on the table staring straight At her.

“You guys expected me to date her and expected her to fix me? How did you figure! She’s not my Type at all. Her music isn’t good, I’m technically arm candy to her.” Trixie could feel her blood boil, her breathing increased and with every word Tyler spoke she dug her acrylics into The table a bit More. 

“Tyler-“

“No! I’m tired, breach the contract. I’m tired of Being painted as the bad guy here. I may have went out with my ex but Atleast I don’t open my legs for every guy that gives me attention in the club, or Atleast every hockey player...oh wait was Anderson the exception?”

Trixie snapped, she was beyond mad. Standing Up in anger she was staring right back at the hockey player. She wanted to Tear him apart, she wanted to destroy Him. 

“I told you shit in private. I told You shit so we could get through This, but guess what you fucked up Again. I can guarantee you’re hungover as hell, pissed because Ali is warming some Other guys bed and you’re so Pussy whipped from her you can’t let her go.”

It was word vomit, all of it.

“Trixie-“ she ignored her team, she ignored the plea in their voices that were telling her to Stop. 

“You went home alone again to your big empty House because guess what? Oh surprise someone Else Didn’t want You. Just like Boston, Tyler Ali doesn’t Want you! And honestly if you’re dogs could talk they probably Wouldn’t want to be around you either! Because that’s what you do Tyler, you ruin the good things around you!” She was breathing hard and you could hear a pen drop, it was dead silent. Trixie watched as Tyler’s Face Formed into a smirk. She wasn’t prepared for the next blow he was about To deliver. 

“You know you preach about not being wanted but you must know all about that, considering Anderson left you for a pretty little blonde. Some Of Your biggest hits are about him aren’t they? We’re the exact same trixie, only Difference is you can make a profit off of the broken heart your nursing, it softens the blow.” Trixie had never felt anger like this. Without thinking she leaned across the table and yanked the sunglasses straight off his Face and snapped them in half. Tyler yelled a “fuck” taking a step Back he rubbed his nose a bit but trixie wasn’t done, she went to lunge for Him but she was held back around the waist.

Tyler watched her struggle against her pr’s hold and he immediately Knew he had gotten to her. He felt proud, after all The bullshit she just spewed he wanted to Give her a taste of Her own medicine. But then trixie stopped struggling and Tyler’s face fell. Taking another good look at the popstar he knew he had fucked Up. She had tears streaming down her face, her make up was a mess and her eyes which were usually bright with mischievous were red. She had stopped Struggling and she was staring right back at Him. The room was eerily quiet and all He could hear was Trixies breathing. 

“You know what Tyler, You’re an asshole. You suck at hockey and they made a mistake to Sign you again this year. You don’t Deserve it.” Tyler flinched back At her words. He could tell She meant it, with no smirk on her face, no sarcasm in her voice just plain anger and that’s what hurt more than anything. He watched as she grabbed her Purse and walked out Of the room, Slamming The door. 

Cringing Tyler looked back At his team who looked beyond mad. Monty pointed back to the chair and mumbled out a “sit.” For once Tyler listened.

“This needs to stop Tyler. You’re not a kid anymore, you’re 25. Get it together or I’ll be forced to suspend you.” Tyler felt his blood run cold. 

“You can’t-“

“It’s my team Tyler, you’re game is suffering and it’s not getting better.”

“I’m one of your best players.” 

“So is Jamie, and rads and miro and spezza.” Tyler was starting to get nervous. He watched trixie’s manager stand up and turned toward him.

“I don’t know what you think of her Tyler, but if you give her the chance she’ll Show you why she’s good for You, how she’ll help you and how you can help her. She’s cold as ice sometimes because in this industry you can’t let things get to You. But trixie...she’s a good girl. Fix it, if you fix it and after she still wants to breach the contract then we’ll do it. But all we ask is you fix this.” Tyler sighed, he knew he had messed up badly but he was also super hungover and didn’t know how to go about fixing it. 

“This is her home address, give her today to cool off and then try again. Don’t make me regret giving you this Tyler.”

The hockey player watched as the two Teams left without saying another word to Him. Sighing he sat back in his chair and watched his phone lit up. Ali’s name Popping up on the screen making him Groan. His game Was suffering. He was hurting people he didn’t want to hurt. He was on the verge of getting suspended. He knew it was time for a change, trixie Would be his fist thing off of his list, that is if she would even give him the time of Day. Glancing at his phone again He pressed the red button on the screen sending ali to voicemail. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

[testifytime]

👀 Oh hey bro. I was wondering if you could possibly analyze me. Whatever section(s) you want!! You know me and can see what I told Tobes but I’ll say some fun facts?? I foster kittens in my free time, love staying up late, and have a thing where I start dancing with a blank face in the corner of my friends’ vision to make them laugh. I know sign language and (still) drink too much coffee.

(Only did the Pokemon and Homestuck ones, if that’s okay!)

- A Pokemon team/type theme (+ fun facts abt your team!)

You’d have a team full of psychic types - mostly the very brainy ones!

Your main Pokemon is Reuniclus, but your team also consists of Alakazam, Beldum, Bronzong, Beeheeyem, and Grumpig!

Fun facts!

Reuniclus loves to give hugs. It’s a hugging fiend, in all honesty! The only problem is sometimes it forgets its own strength, and you have to try and extract it from people before they get hurt. It doesn’t mean to, though!

Alakazam just kind of... showed up one day? You don’t know where it came from or why it stayed, but it listens to you when you ramble on about your theories and even helps you find ancient books that help confirm or deny them, so you really don’t mind. 

Beldum and Bronzong you got together! They’re kind of weird, admittedly, because despite being inanimate object-based Pokemon, they almost act like cats? You’ve gotten dead-leg from them both before when they’ve settled down on your thighs for pets. You never have the heart to make them move. 

Beeheeyem you got from a friend! Your theorist buddy caught one and gave it to you, saying it reminded them of you. You’re not sure if it’s an insult or not, but it’s friendly enough, and you’re even starting to decode what the flashing of its fingertips mean!

Grumpig likes to dance with you! You and it tend to dance together to make people laugh, though it sometimes gets annoyed if it doesn’t work. 

- Bloodcaste/lusus/chumhandle as if you were a Homestuck troll (+lore)

You’re an indigoblood with a sphinx cat lusus! Your chumhandle is classifiedCranium.

You live in a hivestem with a bunch of other highbloods, settled somewhere around the 5th floor. You don’t really like living there, all things considered, but after an unfortunate accident (read: you blew up your house), it was the best you could find. You don’t agree with a lot of what your caste says, so you tend to keep to yourself in your apartment - which is pretty sweet, actually, considering it’s just a huge space with a kitchen that opens out into a livingroom, with a bedroom off to one side and a bathroom joined onto it. You have an entire library lining one wall of the livingroom, along with a bunch of books, gamegrubs, and DVDs. On the other side, taking up most of the wall itself, is a giant TV that practically looms over the triple-sofa-setup you have going on. You have an even bigger library on the TV, which is even hooked up to act as a computer when you activate the holopad. 

Being highclass has its benefits. You just really wish it didn’t also come with the nosey neighbours constantly trying to exploit your weaknesses so they can kill you and take all your shit. Luckily, you’re pretty good at playing games. After the last attempt (read: explosions), nobody really tries to bother you anymore. 

You like to study medicine with the dream of one day becoming a doctor of some sort. Like, a real one, not the ones where they just kind of kill more people than they save. It’s something the other highbloods don’t really understand, but you don’t care, because you also like to study the brain and pick apart what makes people tick, and you know they’re narcassistic, potentially psychopathic assholes anyway. They’re good experiments for you, though you SWEAR you don’t mean that as badly as you say it! You just like testing out potentials with them, like if using one psychological argument appeals to them over another, or if one thing incites them while another calms them. You’ve gotten pretty good at winning arguments like that! You’ve also almost lost your head a few times. It’s... a work in progress.

On the side, you like to spend time actually helping lowbloods. You’re not great at it yet, but you know enough medicine to help them with cuts and bruises, and with the sicknesses that the usual doctors would just kill them for having. You’re pretty good at helping their lusii, too! They like to give you things as a result, little trinkets and oddities that you collect and put up on a shelf on your wall. It’s nice, to be appreciated, even if you don’t ask for it. 

You have a bunch of friends online who like to encourage your frantic analyses. You and another tend to go on wild rambles about all sorts of things, going back and forth for hours until someone manages to calm you both down or until you eventually drag everyone else into it. You’ve made entire UNIVERSES with your friends this way, and it’s been a blast from the start! You think you’ve come out from your shell a little since you got to know them - a lot bolder, a lot more firm in your own stances - and you’ve even started to draw more, too. It’s fun, creating with them. Sometimes you wait impatiently to see what they’ll be creating next. 

You have a slight caffeine addiction that keeps you up at night, but that’s okay, you figure. It means you get to catch up on all the things you were too busy during the day to do - such as reading, watching shows you’re behind on, and researching things one of your friends brought up. There’s a bunch of content that you’re lagging on, but you’ve got basically all night to get through it. It’s worth it, too; you end up with a thousand more ideas to share in the morning on a caffeine-induced high!

Your lusus is kind of a weird size, if you’re completely honest. They’re not the biggest you’ve ever seen a cat lusus be, but they’re probably up to your knees? They like to curl up on your lap - even though they’re a bit too big for it - and demand scratches, and don’t really do much else even though you’re PRETTY sure you have a lususflap in the back door. They’re a little lazy like that, but that’s okay. You adore them, and they love you enough to bring you back snacks the few times they do go out, so it works. 

- Symbol/guardian/chumhandle as if you were a Homestuck kid (+lore)

Your symbol is a fountain pen with an ink splot beneath it, and your guardian is your grandpa! Your chumhandle is cerebralCounterfeit.

You and your grandpa live in a pretty simple suburban house in what is otherwise seen as a ghosttown. There’s not actually that many people who live here, and those who do are pretty much too stubborn to leave even though there’s no viable jobs and no up-to-date laws. It even still has a sheriff. And a western-style jail. That said, what with your grandpa’s condition, you basically get free reign of the entire upstairs of the house (including the attic, which is filled with weird artefacts and books that you’re pretty sure have been banned in most countries), and can haul all of your weird interests up into your room without issue. 

You like to study medicine and the brain, to really pick it apart and understand it and figure out what makes people Like That. You’ve got books upon books about it, some of which you only kind of barely understand, a lot of which are really dry and boring, but you’ve figured out ways to keep it fun! And you’re learning more and more as the days go by, so you think you’re making progress. You’re really good at figuring out what makes people tick, anyway, and at settling arguments - and with all your studying on medicine, you’ve gotten good at helping out the local animals! Your guardian won’t let you actually help people, so you’ve settled for this instead - at least for now. 

As a result of this, your house kind of looks like a zoo. There are healing birds and a litter of bunnies with their mom in the living room, and a bunch of kittens that you’ve fostered (which you’ve given the run of your room, plus a cattio attached to your window - which they love!). You get visits every now and then from the fox you helped untangle from a plastic sack, and hedgehogs like to come to your back door for treats. You feel a little like Doctor Doolittle! 

You love spending time with your friends. Every moment that you can, you’re on your phone, or your laptop, frantically typing out responses to everything they’ve sent while you were asleep. Sometimes it’s fanciful - ideas of the lot of you spending time together, of being in cartoons and comics and books - and sometimes it’s more wordy - theories you share that go a little off the rails if you’re not careful - but it’s always, always fun. And, of course, sometimes you realise that you share more fandoms than you think - and that just starts a whole NEW ramble session that riles everyone up and sets the chat on fire for the next few hours.

The only downside, of course, is that they’re aware of your caffeine addiction, and how late you stay up at night. It’s become kind of a joke for you all, more than anything, and it’s nice in its own way. You know they do it because they care about you. So, you try to be there for them, too; a stable, grounding force capable of taking anything!

Sometimes, you go outside just before the sun starts to rise over the horizon. It’s usually only on days where you couldn’t sleep - either because you woke up and couldn’t drift off again, or because you drank too much coffee and just didn’t sleep at all - but you sit out on the steps of the sheriff’s office, a cup of coffee in your hand, and try to ignore the wails of ghosts that call to you from the jails behind as you watch the sunrise. 

[weshallneverrevolt]

In-Home Streaming, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Couch

I’m a longtime PC gamer for many reasons. Yes, there’s the snob factor: PC games can look better than consoles almost all of the time. But it’s also because of the customizability. You pick your framerate, your resolution, your graphical settings. But you also own a machine, not an appliance: you learn its quirks, its inner workings. It’s something you take care of. For an enthusiast, a custom built computer is like a tailored suit.

And yet, there’s something I have missed for a long time: gaming on the couch.

Couch gaming is how I grew up. Huddled with friends around a tiny TV and N64, controllers in hand, shouting and laughing. Or leaned back in a chair with a cold soda, savoring every moment of a lengthy Final Fantasy cutscene. An office chair just isn’t the same. It’s rigid and harsh. It says “at attention,” not “relax.” It was the antithesis of my ideal gaming experience.

But after I got my PC, I never bought a console. For one, I couldn’t afford them. In college my money was precious, and my computer – already cobbled together from low-end or used parts – was expensive enough to maintain. The idea of dropping hundreds on a console and proper television was out of the question.

As an adult with more disposable income and now a home of my own – complete with an awesome living room my wife put together – I wanted to have that experience again. But my budget-mindedness and graphical snobbery hadn’t changed, and my PC was upstairs on the other side of the house. What to do?

I wanted couch gaming. And I managed to get it without buying a console or moving my PC to the living room thanks to a hugely underappreciated technology: in-home streaming. Here I’ll share what I’ve learned, discuss setups, and evangelize one of the coolest tech tricks I’ve discovered in homeownership.

What is In-Home Streaming?

You’ve probably heard of Google Stadia, Google’s uh…interesting new streaming game service. The basic idea is that your console isn’t in your living room. Instead, it’s located in a Google datacenter, which streams the game as a video through the internet. It sort of works, with the hiccups you’d expect with streaming a game over the internet: lag, input delay, graphical glitches. It’s like having very, very long HDMI and USB cords.

In-home streaming is basically that, but in your house. With the distance being just a few rooms instead of across state lines, latency becomes much less of an issue. It finally gives PC gamers the one thing we were missing: the couch.

Because it encodes video in real-time, in-home video streaming is a pretty new technology, and it requires certain hardware and software. The two dominant solutions are Steam and Moonlight, and they’re different in important ways.

Steam Remote Play

Steam Remote Play is by far the simplest method. For one, it integrates directly with Steam, so there is no complicated setup. Just install Steam on both devices, boot em up and you’re good to go. It pairs well with Steam’s “Big Picture” interface for a console-like experience.

Steam streaming also runs on just about anything, including very small computers like a Raspberry Pi. This is because it uses H.264 encoding, a standard that has been around for a long time. Just about any computer made since 2008 can play H.264 video, meaning that your old laptop or a $25 PC from Goodwill can be turned into a stream machine. Encoding H.264 on the host machine also has little performance cost.

Where Steam hits a limit is in resolution. Steam can only stream games at the resolution they use on your native monitor. So if your computer monitor is 1080p, you can’t play in 4K when it’s streamed to your TV. You can go lower resolution, which is fine if you’re streaming to some laptop screens.

Steam works with all Xbox controllers, as well as the Dual Shock 4 through DS4Windows.

Moonlight

Moonlight is what I use for in-home streaming. It’s an open-source implementation of NVidia’s “GameStream” technology, originally developed for their Shield devices. My main PC has a GTX 1070, which supports GameStream.

Moonlight has a number of significant advantages over Steam. For me, the most important is its ability to stream in a different resolution than your desktop. So while my desktop monitor is 1080p, I can play games in native 4K on my TV set! For newer games that my PC can’t run at full 4K, I use NVidia’s dynamic super resolution feature to run at 1440p or another resolution, then upscale it to 4K.

GameStream can also encode in HEVC, a cutting-edge video codec that offers superior quality with lower bandwidth. There’s virtually no artifacting, and colors usually look better than with Steam streaming. There is also HDR support. Because HEVC is lower bandwidth, it’s also ideal for wi-fi streaming.

If you’ve been keeping up with all the NVidia mentions, you’ve probably figured out the most significant drawback of Moonlight: hardware exclusivity. GameStream can only encode certain NVidia graphics cards. For instance, the 10-series locks GameStream to the 1050ti or higher, so budget gamers with a 1030 or 1050 are out of luck. Good news is that the receiving PC can run non-nVidia graphics.

GameStream also supports H.264, but for HEVC you need more powerful hardware on the receiving end. So while any old shitty laptop could stream with Steam, it would choke on HEVC.

Moonlight has the same controller support as Steam.

My Setup

When I first built my setup, I set a few standards:

4K, 60 frames per second

Option for “upscaled” 4K similar to the PS4 Pro/XB1X

4K Blu-ray quality HEVC (around 100mbps bitrate)

Quiet

An unobtrusive look, like a home theater appliance

A hard-wired setup for low latency

Less than a week after we moved in, I hard-wired my house for internet. I ran an Ethernet cable all the way from my office, through the garage, under my crawlspace and into my living room. I then crimped the ends (badly) and installed a wall outlet in my office (barely.) If I were to do this now, I’d buy a pre-made 200-300ft CAT6 cable on Amazon and just run that. That said, my cable still works for what I need.

For my streaming PC, I knew that I had to go small form factor. The credenza in my living room didn’t have space for a full-size PC, and the aesthetic of most of those would offend my non-gamer wife. I considered building one, but most SFF hardware is targeted at enthusiasts and so doesn’t come cheap.

But small form factor PCs have a particular application: offices. When offices dump their old hardware, you can get it for almost nothing. I found just such a deal on reddit’s /r/buildapcsales for a Lenovo ThinkCentre m58p, refurbished from Staples for $20 shipped. It was small, simply designed, and not too flashy. But it is from 2008, and needed a few cheap upgrades:

I swapped out the dual-core E8400 processor for a quad-core Q9400 I had on hand.

I replaced the loud, slow hard drive with a small, cheap ADATA SU635 solid state drive.

For my quiet living room setting, I also replaced the cooling fan with a high-quality Noctua model.

But chief among these upgrades was a graphics card. This PC, being more than a little old, could not play HEVC video without specialized hardware. And it had to be silent, not require much power, and be able to fit inside this small case.

So I turned to the NVidia GT 1030, specifically the MSI low profile silent model. Targeted at home theater PCs and poor gamers, the GT 1030 is not gonna blow anyone’s socks off. But it does 4K, and it does HEVC, and it does all of this over HDMI so it plugs straight into my TV with no issues. One quirk with my model is that the heatsink didn’t fit in my unusual case, so I had to take a hacksaw to it.

For a truly 1%er experience, I wanted to be able to start my upstairs PC remotely. That way when I want to play, I don’t even have to walk up there. For this I used an Android app called Unified Remote, which allows you to remotely control a computer from a phone. Unified Remote is free, but I bought the premium version with Play Rewards points.

The Value Question

Let’s get the first question out of the way: if a NVidia Shield is $150, why not just buy that? A few reasons:

It has hard-wired ethernet. No matter how good your wifi is, hard-wired is better.

Moonlight’s interface is more flexible than the Shield’s.

This also runs YouTube with a full keyboard remote for easier searches.

I can install a Blu-ray player at some point, if I choose.

I can emulate many games on the living room PC; the GT 1030 is great for that.

It runs party games like Jackbox just fine.

This is more fun.

So let’s run a tally. I’m not counting the hard-wiring, since I needed that for my office computer anyway.

The PC itself: $20

GT 1030: $75

Noctua 92mm fan: $15

Bluetooth receiver: $10

SSD: $15

Q9400: free to me, but you can get one on eBay for like $10

So for $135 – less than a PS4 Pro or Xbox One X – I get 4K couch gaming at higher framerates and higher settings. And for certain games, like Overwatch or Cities: Skylines, I still have a killer keyboard and mouse setup.

You can easily make this cheaper, especially if you use Steam and aim for 1080p instead of 4K. A Raspberry Pi – around $60 with accessories – can do 1080p Steam streaming flawlessly. Most Intel CPUs made after 2011 can decode H.264 without a graphics card, and the 6000 series and higher can even decode HEVC. You could also go for a GT 1030 with a fan, which are usually cheaper.

So How’s It Perform?

In short: great!

I’ve played everything from The Outer Worlds to Slay the Spire to Rocket League on my streaming setup, and they all work perfectly. Sekiro – which requires extremely precise inputs – does suffer a bit from the input lag, but I can’t detect lag with most games. Visual quality is excellent with very little loss in color saturation. You will notice artifacting on grass or leaves when you’re up close, but this is less visible at 1440p or higher.

I would not play competitive games on a streaming setup. The only one I play seriously is Overwatch, and there is definitely a difference in my performance when streaming. Competitive first-person shooters also suck to play on a controller, and a proper couch desk is not an investment I’m prepared to make.

Be prepared to tweak graphical settings if you’re shooting for 4K on most setups, as the video encoding does have a slight performance cost. This is not true for older games; Dark Souls and Dishonored run at a locked 4K and 60fps. For modern games, Forza Horizon 5 runs at 1800p on High, and Resident Evil 2 is smooth as silk at 1440p.

One final tip: if you’re streaming over wi-fi, be prepared to make some compromises. I would stick to 1080p to avoid lag, or do 4K only on HEVC with lower visual quality. Also streaming basically requires 5ghz wifi, so if you have an old router you should probably cut back to 720p.

So that’s in-home streaming! If you’re already a PC gamer, it’s an affordable and easy way to achieve a console-like experience. Feel free to DM me with any questions you have about hardware or software setup.

[teratoscope]

Unbounded Lands postmortem

 this takes a kind of circuitous path and gets heavy fast.

The fall before I started Teratoscope, my brother and I were in a car accident.

The morning of, I made a stupid turn that put a headlight out of commission and mangled the fender pretty badly. It was the first time I’d ever really fucked up a vehicle. Every forty-five seconds or so the car would make this brief scraping noise. I had a good three-hour drive ahead of me that would take me through St. Louis and, I would quickly discover, a torrential rainstorm. Stupidly, I pressed on anyway. I had to pay rent that day. I was full of miserable thoughts about how much it was going to cost me to get the headlight replaced and the body work done, about what might happen if I crossed paths with a cop, you get the idea. I had this recurring imp-of-the-perverse notion that if the car got utterly trashed at least I wouldn’t have to worry about getting the damn thing fixed.

Because I was eager to put a long convoy of semis behind me, I spent a lot of time in the left lane and above the speed limit—way too far above for the amount of water on the asphalt and the crap visibility. Eventually, I got to thinking I was clear on the right; anxious to get back to a reasonable speed, I started to change lanes.

There was somebody coming out of my blind spot; I caught them coming and started to course-correct. We were on a pretty dramatic curve in the highway, or coming up on it, on approach to an overpass.  I started hydroplaning. I panicked, not remembering how to stabilize, and the car spun out.

I don’t have a great sensory recollection of what happened next, but this is what the bystanders saw. The car threaded the needle between two semis, tore through a good ten feet of highway railing and a lamppost (just barely clearing the concrete nub it was bolted to), and ground to a halt after slamming into the hill the overpass was built into. It was sitting mostly on its side, with bits of hill stuck in it.

My brother and I were completely unharmed, aside from some unpleasant bruises.

What I remember from the accident is the sudden, overwhelming loss of control, the terrible lurch I felt as everything outside the car blurred together into an unintelligible slurry, and then the smell of gunsmoke and my hands clawing in horror at this vast volume of gray, thinking this is what death is like, then.

It was the airbag.

These are things that snuck up on me in bed and in the shower for many months afterward. I don’t get the flashbacks anymore, but when I’m not distracting myself with work or stories I’m susceptible to this visceral awareness of my presence as a body in time. I can feel myself hurtling through the fourth dimension, and it feels a lot like being in that car.

It forces me to reckon with big questions about death and consciousness and embodiment. Which is what got me thinking very seriously about sizes of infinity and negative spaces—not just in space but in time and possibility.

I don’t think I started Teratoscope as a way of coping with my trauma and the existential challenges it forced me to acknowledge, but looking back on Unbounded Lands it’s hard to ignore that they’re in there. The Unbounded Lands are, to an extent, a vision of the world as riddled through with existential anxieties as I am. It’s a place with negative possibility space bleeding into it, with multiple ambiguous pasts and futures looping back around into the now and forcing it to confront the moral exhaustion of perpetual being.

I don’t think I’ve fully reckoned with this stuff. That DNA’s carried over to Freestar One; if anything it’s only going to get more so in the next series.

On a lighter note, design!

I did a lot of wavering back and forth about damage and lethality; it’s something I’ve struggled with designing monsters before, partly because I’m lethally allergic to “strategic balance.” Challenge Rating as a concept can eat my whole ass. Generally speaking I think of D&D as in large part a horror game, and so I tend to lean towards lethal critters, but as wary as I am of turning into a 4e-style fight clockmaker, I’m equally concerned about the “Killer DM” rep that so much OSR design carries with it. This is definitely still a problem I’m wrestling with—I think the root of it is that, much as I love the mode of tabletop these critters are for, I don’t get to play it much with the regular group I’ve got. We’re more of a storygames crowd in practice.

Something I mostly tried to avoid while writing Unbounded Lands was giving critters “spell-like abilities.” Something I fucking loathe about later editions of D&D is the way it sucks the mystique out of its own design by making the bulk of its game effects modular. Now, there have always been monsters with spell lists in D&D, but I think it’s gotten progressively more egregious with each subsequent edition. A lot of the problem has to do with feature bloat and the need to turn away from the monster stat block to look something up; in my opinion a tabletop game should be designed such that one needs to do as little cross-referencing as humanly possible. On a related note, whoever came up with giving monster writeups long lists of feats should be caned.

That being said, I should note I’ve broken my own rule a couple of times in Unbounded Lands—the Catalyst Sprite and Slinn are both pretty clear examples of this kind of design. I’ll admit they were ideas I liked, but didn’t have elegant mechanics in mind for them at the time. I’ll likely revisit them in one form or another one day, once I’ve built up a sufficient stock of critters that no longer appeal to me as they did when I first conceived of them. Like a “Misfit Monsters Revisited,” but, you know, for a system I find bearable.

Finally, I figure it pays to rattle off a bit of an “appendix N” for Teratoscope—readings and extracurriculars that played an inspirational role in developing the setting:

any of China Mieville’s Bas-Lag novels. Mieville’s a fucking legend when it comes to whipping up critters; Iron Council is the overall best of the three. Also, his essays and lectures on variations upon the uncanny are absolute must-reads for any teratologist.

A Storm of Wings by M. John Harrison. The Unbounded Lands are a bottomless time abyss, not dying by degrees like Harrison’s future-Earth, but the ontological crisis/alien invasion that forms the central plot of the second Viriconium novella is a very appropriate sort of horrible thing to happen there. As a side note, I would kill for a game with Soulsborne-inspired gameplay and Viriconium’s genre sensibilities.

Fire on the Velvet Horizon. My most direct inspiration for writing a monster manual, period. My resolution at the start of Teratoscope was that if I could create critters half as fucking baller as Patrick Stuart’s and then bolt some pretty serviceable mechanics to them, I’d have succeeded.

the artwork of Alexander Kostetsky. There’s a lot of art references I could drop in for Unbounded Lands, but Kostetsky marries the ludicrous scale, kaleidoscopic palette, and feverish organic form that I think is integral to the setting to this sense of bleakness, patience, silence, openness. Which is a fucking challenge, and also suits Unbounded Lands quite well. The barren stretches of Manmonumeq and sunken spires of Old Hyrkonia are his.

YT//ST - Yamantaka Sonic Titan. My brother once summarized this album’s sound as “being sung at by a sea witch and her army of clothes dryers with bricks thrown in them.” He’s not wrong. It slaps. Put on Crystal Fortress over the Sea of Trees and go fight the Hecatoncheiropolis.

[texanredrose]

I need to share this idea. Team RWBY plus Winter is drunk, Blake and Weiss are arguing with Winter about if her or Yang top. Ruby swears it's Yang, monochrome don't believe her. Ruby calls out to Yang "hey Yang, what's dad make us call him every fsther's day" Yang says "Daddy" and Winter just says "you know it" and Ruby stares at a traumatized Weiss and states, voice as cold and certain as steel, "Never doubt me again."

The base thrummed through the walls, making the liquid that resided in their glasses- what little remained, anyway- dancing a little, though it thankfully wasn’t assaulting their ears too badly. Being friends- and perhaps future sister-in-law- to a Schnee or two had its perks, and getting into the swanky VIP lounge at just about any bar in Remnant happened to be one of them. Not that Ruby was a fan of drinking, of course, but after the past few years of everything falling apart and being put back together? Yeah, they earned a few drinks, and then some.

Ruby finished off the last of whatever Weiss ordered her- something a bit too fruity but sweet enough that she didn’t mind- and set the empty glass down on the table, taking a quick look around at her friends and teammates.

Yang, Jaune, and Ren were- rather questionably- playing darts over in the corner and taking shots whenever they missed the bullseye, which meant two of them were decently inebriated while the third looked like he could barely keep his feet. Nora was bouncing between cheering Ren and chatting with Coco and her team while Winter sat, leaning against the wall in the other corner with her head dropped to her chest, a combination of jet lag and alcohol coaxing her into a bit of a nap. How she managed to sleep with all the noise remained a mystery but apparently she’d learned to fall asleep next to moving airships, so this didn’t constitute much of a challenge. Weiss and Blake were on the far end of the couch Ruby had claimed early in the night, giggling in that silly, drunk way that either meant one said something particularly funny or neither had. She couldn’t really say.

Honestly, she had half a mind to join Winter; sleep sounded wonderful and she’d gotten just as drunk as she’d planned. No reason to overindulge.

Suddenly, Blake and Weiss began laughing, drawing her attention and a raised brow. “You two okay?”

“Is- is- is just.” Blake shook her head. “You tell her.”

“We’re talking about- well, about sex.” Weiss began, both of them busting into a small giggle fit again, and she mentally noted that neither could really hold their liquor well if they were this out of sorts after two hours in a club. “And decided we should get tips from Yang.”

“Tips?”

“Yeah. To be more… like… assertive.” Blake made a vague motion with her hand. “Dominant.”

“Wait,” she said, frowning and furrowing her brows. “You think Yang, as in my sister Yang, is a top?”

“Well of course she is.” Weiss started giggling again. “I mean, she’s got that- that-”

“Take no shit?”

“Well, that, too, but she’s-” Words seemed to fail her then. “And Winter’s- she’s so uptight, but not- not so much now.”

“That’s probably just because they’re dating and Yang kinda has that effect on people.” Ruby shrugged, leaning back against the couch. “Anyway, if you want advice, ask Winter. She’s the top.”

Blake and Weiss looked at each other and then started laughing, shaking their heads.

“Come- Ruby, please. Yang? A bottom?” Weiss started laughing, as if the very thought could be a joke all itself. “Yang?”

Taking a deep breath, Ruby leaned forward and collected a freshly replenished glass- when their waiter had shown up and brought them new drinks, she couldn’t be sure. Then, she looked over and called about above the din. “Yang?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s that movie with Adam Sandler where he almost adopts a kid?”

A beat of silence before her sister’s encyclopedic knowledge of films kicked in through the drunken haze. “Big Daddy!”

“What?” Winter jerked away from the wall, grimacing and scrubbing at her face. “Sundrop?”

“What?”

“Why’d you call me?”

With a laugh, Yang abandoned the game to stumble over to her girlfriend. “Nah, that was- I was answering a question.” 

The whole while, Ruby stared, unblinking, at Weiss and Blake while taking a sip from her drink. Still too fruity but she needed something to offset-

“So you weren’t calling for me?”

“Not yet. After we get out of here is a different story.”

-that.

Slowly, Blake and Weiss returned her attention to her, and she spoke carefully, so the alcohol in her system didn’t obscure her meaning. “Never. Doubt me. Again. Especially about Yang.” A pause. “I know my sister way too well.”

Then, she busied herself with her drink, ignoring the teasing jeers from the others as Winter no doubt found a way of staying awake and Yang laughed.