#my last name means shepherd

[a-story-i-will-never-write]

I return to the ancestors

I walked along a local reenactment

A pioneer heritage site

I happen to walk by the spinners

Weavers and creators of yarn

They're selling spindles

And wool

And fibers

I buy one

I go home

I feel the weight of my ancestors hands guiding me

As I begin to spin my first yarn

A craft long forgotten but an ancient foremothers chore

My last name means shepherd

Maybe it's in my blood, maybe my grandmother's are guiding me

Either way my hands itch for more

I join the group.

They offer me a broken spinning wheel if I think I can fix it.

I do.

My friends and I fix it

And yet again I feel the hands of maybe a more recent foremother guiding my own hands,

Centuries of tradition guiding the present.

My hands still itch for more.

A walking wheel sits in the cabin

Years it has been untouched.

We fix it, my great great great grandmother's hands guide me as I walk back into my family's place of history

It's not enough.

I learn to forage and soon there is a pot boiling over the fire

Walnuts and woad and weld and false indigo and berries bubble with white homespun yarn floating in the pots

I hand it off to a weaver who teaches me in turn, guided by the hands of both our great heritage of mothers

How wonderful it is to guide history to life again with my own hands

Guided by a long line of grandmothers

How wonderful is it to have this connection

[anadiasmount]

now it's real - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: continuation of the "is this real?" parts! based on this request i received where jude gets the biggest surprise of all... can be real as a standalone also!!

wc: 1.6k | masterlist | jude's masterlist

psa 🗣️: hiiii!! when the anon asked me to do this I HAD TOOO!! you can find part one and part two here of the "is this real?" series! the fic has an insta au and story included all in one, like always hope you enjoy! 🤍

ynusername

liked by: judebellingham, gioreyna, jobebellingham, yourbsf, otherbsf, erlinghaaland, others.

ynusername: a one of a kind surprise 🤍

comments:

username290: HIS EARS!!!

judebellingham: family keeps growing, your welcome baby 🤍🙏

↪️ ynusername: best surprise ever :(((

gioreyna: coming over asap. going to teach him how to attack jude when he's being mean 👍👍

↪️ jobebellingham: i second guess this 👍

jobebellingham: 'its a german shepherd dog!' congrats you two! ❤️

user473: STOPP HES SO CUTE AND FLUFFYY

username33: aww :(( what's his name??

↪️ ynusername: his name is duke!!

user22: baby face!! he is so adorableeeeee

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judebellingham

liked by: ynusername, gioreyna, jobebellingham, marcoreus, jadonsancho, and 1,787,230.

judebellingham: when all he knows is how to play, bite, eat, and sleep 🙄🙄

comments:

ynusername: he's just a baby, let him be!! 😡😡

↪️ judebellingham: i wonder who he learns it from?? he's literally attached to you.

gioreyna: #attackingjudetrainingclasses are going very well i seem??

↪️ ynusername: they are indeed 🤭🤭

user44: stop his little floppy ears ❤️

username245: his tongue peeking out white he sleeps 😭😭

↪️ ynusername: just like jude fr 😂🤍

jobebellingham: why does he kinda look like you??

↪️ judebellingham: bc he's my kid obviously 😒

↪️ ynusername: our kid ***

username282: stop he has grown sm since the last time we saw him!!

user485: that second picture looks personal? what did you to do him jude??

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old ynusername stories from "duke's🌎 "

august 21' | september 21'' | december 21'

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old judebellingham stories from "y/n and duke 🤍"

october 22' | january 23' | may 23'

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“you know duke, if this is positive you’ll be a big brother right?” you say biting your nails, sitting in the carpet and scratching behind his ears, your words making him tense and bark. “yep. means you’ll have to protect another human, but it means more treats!” you say excited his tail wagging.

“i’m scared… this is scary duke… if i’m pregnant i don’t know how i’ll tell jude,” you frown, feeling duke set his head on your lap looking up at you. you had been feeling the symptoms for a month. constant nausea and headaches, taking naps earlier than usual, duke following you everywhere when he didn’t need to, or getting protective when someone came near you.

you had also missed your period, realizing that when you look at the box of pads/ tampons under the sink. you felt the random wave of emotions, the tiredness and aching back even after having a nice and relax day. all you needed was the test to confirm it. to confirm your worries and feelings.

as you felt anticipated, something inside you also felt panic. carrying a baby for nine months, the labor and delivery, the long road of recovery and now taking care for two. you’ve wanted to be a mom as long as you could remember, but now that reality was hitting, it made you overthink.

overthinking if you’d be enough for you and your baby, also jude and duke. being supportive even during the hard times especially now with jude. any traceable though ran through your head. but despite that, you were ready. you were young, had a stable job, a perfect relationship, and supportive family and friends. it was the perfect time to go from a family of three to four.

duke huffed and followed you to the restroom, waiting by the door as you took a breath of nervousness and tapped your nails against the marble counter. you needed to be sure, so you took three tests to make sure they all had the same result. tears were already beaming in your eyes, before you could even remove the box on top the tests.

with shaky hands and now shivers running along your body, you saw the plus sign and the double lines. you struggled a laugh and broke into tears excitedly. grabbing three of tests and looking at them closely to ensure you weren’t dreaming or your head playing games with you.

“duke! we’re having a baby! a baby inside me now! now wonder you followed me everywhere,” you say sarcastic, leaning down and placing kisses on his head, tail wagging. “i can’t believe it… me and jude are having a baby,” you say breathless looking out into the room and already picturing a crib and small stand where diapers and baby towels would be.

you pictured jude sitting on the bed, reading a story, kissing their cheeks, tucking them to sleep, making them laugh until they squealed or snorted. you brought a hand to your barely bump, rubbing it smoothly and feeling a wave of confidence and excitement run through you.

“let’s go! we need to find a perfect shirt to tell jude!”

you ended up taking duke to a local pet store, picking out a small bandana that mentioned he was going to be a big brother. then going to a crafts store to get a box and some paint, along with some confeti strips to place inside. the last thing to do was find a small real madrid jersey and baby replicas of jude’s iconic red predator boots he wore for his games.

you decide to wait it along to see if jude could fit the pieces together. not drinking coffee or refusing wine when he offered when eating dinner. declining a sushi date and going out to eat at one of your favorite outdoor spots in the city. saying no to going on a hike because you were afraid of falling or getting hurt before you could see the doctor.

jude couldn’t even see right through it. understanding maybe you were busy or tired after being at work. or giving you a small frown when you had to say no. or give you a confused face when you randomly eat your cravings. if there was one thing about jude, is that he is the slowest person, so of course he didn’t see this coming.

“you got not only an assist but goal as well tonight baby,” you say kissing his hand as you waited in the taxi to go home. to say you were nervous was an understatement. you were absolutely mortified to tell jude but you figured today would be the perfect night. after a special night in the bernabeu, you figured why not tell him.

“i’m feeling very much proud and in the mood for some celebration drinks. what do you say hmm? we open a bottle of wine and cuddle? maybe in time for some celebratory sex?” he teased kissing below your ear making you squirm. “jude!” you say refraining yourself, heat building up your cheeks and chest.

“what? i’d love to celebrate with my beautiful girlfriend tonight, and i will because i not only had an assist but winning goal,” jude smirked reciting your words in a teasing and flirty manner, making you hit his chest shyly. “ok keep the act up… you know you want it too,” he said turning away looking forward where the fans yelled his name and cheered.

you leaned up and kissed his cheek, grabbing his face and whispering an “i love you.” jude was in a daze, completely enamored by your beauty. drowning himself into your eyes and bright smile. you had this new thing shining across you, it looked like a fresh glow of something new along you. "i love you y/n." jude places a kiss on your lips, leaving you lingering and out of breath.

"looks like a package come," jude remarks, grabbing the wooden box and shaking it to see what was inside. "from the stork company," you say with a smile. "stork company? i've never heard of that," jude says dumbfounded, grabbing the keys and opening the door. he set the box down by the kitchen island and brought his bag to the laundry room.

jude return to see you propped on the island swinging your feet excitedly. "what are you hiding?" jude says suspiciously, raising his brow and coming over to you. "nothing... are you gonna open it?" you point to the box, hand running down his box. you look at your phone that was hidden and propped nearby, jude eyeing you againg before going to open it.

the familiar butterflies and adrenaline runs along your veins, your hand coming to your bump, as you bite you lip watching jude fiddle with the opening. jude scrunches his face confusedly, taking out the confeti. "duke!" you call out who was already wearing the bib.

jude stops what he’s doing, seeing the infant jersey and tiny football boots. he lets out a laugh, smiling upside down as he takes the baby jersey and holding it out, doing the same with the red predator boots. he glanced around eyes landing on you. “is this what i think it means?” jude says with tears in his eyes.

you giggle and nod quickly, feeling jude trace his hand on your thigh and the other behind your head. “you’re serious? we’re having a baby, y/n?” jude needs the confirmation before he can cheer outloud. a bubble of joystick trickling down his spine as he sees your eyes glimmering. “yes jude… i’m carrying our baby right now,” you look down a hand on your bump jude intaking a breath of air.

jude doesn’t waste any second, kissing you all over your face, tears running down his face emotional, whispering how much he was grateful and thanking you repeatedly making you cry out harder. “i-i-i can’t believe it… we’re having a baby y/n!” jude cheers wipping his face and looking at duke who wagged his tail.

“and you knew about this duke? and you didn’t tell me?” jude leaned down, scratching his ears and reading his small bandana. “no wonder yo wouldn’t let me get near momma. always barking or growling when i wanted to kiss her. not cool man…” he says playfully looking at you still in a daze.

“now you have to protect her from gio and jobe okay? if you do that it means more treats,” jude says teasingly making the german shepherd bark and jump. “oh god,” you chuckle, hand coming to your forehead already picturing the banter and training sessions.

“our family is getting bigger,” jude approaches you and leans down, kneeling and raising his jersey up. jude places delicate kisses in your tummy, making you squirm and hold the back of his head, watching with a huge grin. “my baby in there… i’ll protect you with my life. i love you already, and i can’t wait to meet you,” jude whispered lovingly, hugging your waist.

jude holds your bump, looking into your eyes and feeling your smaller hand interlock with his. “the greatest gift you could ever give me is this, thank you y/n,” jude says wiping a small streak from your cheek with his free hand. “i want to hold our baby now,” jude says along your lips. “patience jude, we have forever to cherish and hold our little one,” you peck his cheek and nose. “love you so much jude,” you kiss his lips slowly, relishing the memory that will forever hold your heart.

“also where did you find those small predator boots?”

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ynusername

liked by: judebellingham, gioreyna, jobebellingham, vinijr, tchuameli, brahimdiaz, audreylunin, yourbsf, yourbestie, others.

ynusername: yes rumors are true… patiently waiting for you angel 🥹🤍

comments:

judebellingham: couldn’t hold it in longer, you’re stunning baby 🤍

gioreyna: ❤️

jobebellingham: IM GOING TO BE AN UNCLE??? WHAT?? THIS IS HOW IM FINDING OUT?? 👎👎

↪️ ynusername: to be fair you’d probably spill the beans 😂🤍

yourbestie: BSJDJDJDUJD IM SO EXCITEDD 😣😣

username383: they’re going to be parents?? WERE GETTING DAD! JUDE???

user29: oh lord… i love this pregnancy announcement 🩷

sophiaamelia: congratulations beautiful! will be rooting for a boy!! how is duke taking it?? 😂💙

ynusername: ohh goshh he follows me everywhere i go 😭😂

↪️ judebellingham: he refuses to leave her side, i can’t even hug or kiss her without him barking at me 😒😒

↪️ gioreyna: LFMOAOSOS 😭

username1092: ISNDDNKSKSBBD HELLO WHAT?? THIS IS ONE WAY TO CONFIRM IT!!

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judebellingham

liked by: yourusername, realmadrid, gioreyna, jobebellingham, brahimdiaz, thiboutcortois, yourfriend, vinijr, aurelitchuameli, camavinga, 3,904,999 others.

judebellingham: not only have i been gifted with the most unforgettable gift, but i get to do this along such a strong and beautiful woman. y/n i love you so much 🤍

comments:

yourusername: JUDEEEEE 😣😣 stop i’ll cry and my hormones all over the place 💔

camavinga: congratulations bro ❤️

vinijr: HERMANOOO FELICIDADES!! ❤️

brahimdiaz: UN BEBÉ?? HERMANOOOOO FELICIDADES 🤍

gioreyna: so happy for you bro ❤️

user453: the way he holds her ☹️☹️

jobebellingham: i still can’t believe this is how i’m finding out??

↪️ judebellingham: you’re shit at keeping secrets jobe 😭😒

danicarvajal: enhorabuena jude! el regalo mas hermoso es esto ❤️

lukamodric: jude you’re so young 😂 congratulations golden boy! 😂🤍

↪️ judebellingham: thank you luka 😂🤍

nachofernandez: enhorabuena judey y y/n ❤️ nueva adición al equipo y familia!

username234: OMGG SHES SO BEAUTIFUL?? 😍

user49384: JUDE YOURE SO LUCKY 😣

userreee23423: she looks so stunning… like i will never get over this 😣😣😣

username9579: THEIR ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN MY FAVORITE OUT OF EVERYONE!!! so happy for you two!!

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ynusername added to their stories!

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judebellingham added to their insta stories!

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ynusername & judeballingham

liked by: ynusername, judebellingham, gioreyna, jobebellingham, vinijr, brahimdiaz, camavinga, england, realmadrid, others!

ynusername & judeballingham: our bundle of joy has joined us and we couldn’t be anymore happier 🤍

comments are restricted!

realmadrid: enhorabuena jude y y/n!

england: congratualtions you two!

camavinga: congratulations! ❤️

vinijr: hermanoo felicidades !!! 🤩

gioreyna: you’re going to be great parents! congratulations you two! can’t wait to meet baby ❤️

jobebellingham: proud uncle! very happy! 💙

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[bluejayblueskies]

ten thousand flowers in spring | bluejayblueskies

[ID: Three photos of a hand-bound book from different angles that show the front, side, and back respectively. The book has dark green bookcloth, a decorative red and gold ribbon along the front cover and a black ribbon along the back cover, and a gold painted cherry blossom design on the front and back covers. The title and author name are also in gold on the front cover and spine and read, "Ten Thousand Flowers in Spring" and "bluejayblueskies." /End ID]

Last November, I got a Silhouette cutting machine for Black Friday. This weekend, I finally got the chance to use it for a bookbinding project! I bound my fic ten thousand flowers in spring as part of one of my Fandom Trumps Hate typesetting gifts, and I had a lot of fun going all-out with the flower iconography.

[ID: Two photos of the interior of the book. The first is the title page spread of the book, showing a pastel-colored painting of a cherry blossom-scattered hill with sheep and a shepherd that spans both pages. On the right page, there is the title "Ten Thousand Flowers in Spring" and the author name "bluejayblueskies" in a sans serif font. The second is the colophon (left) and table of contents (right) of the book. The colophon has details about the binder, the original fic, and the fonts and image sources used in the book. The table of contents has each chapter title and corresponding page number listed in a grid format with flower icons above each chapter title. /End ID]

Each chapter is titled after a flower that has a specific meaning that ties into the chapter content. I decided to style this bind after old botany books. Along with the cover, which is inspired by the covers of old botany books, each chapter header has an image of the titular flower pulled from public domain botany book scans, along with the flower's name and meaning below it.

[ID: The inside of the book, showing a page of text on the left and the chapter header on the right. The chapter header has an old-style image of blue salvia on it, with the name "blue salvia" and the meaning "friendship, family, thoughtful gestures, thinking of you" beneath it. /End ID]

Each chapter also begins with a faux-excerpt from the book Jon is writing throughout the fic:

[ID: The inside of the book, showing the introductory faux book excerpt on the left and the beginning chapter text on the right. The faux book text has an image of a flower beneath it; the beginning chapter text has a drop cap with a floral design at the beginning of it. /End ID]

Some more notes and pictures on process are below the cut!

The binding style of this fic is sewn boards binding, which I like for thinner books as the spine is much less fiddly to work with. It's also a really nice binding style in general because it eliminates my least-favorite part of the binding process: casing in. When casing in a regular case-bound book, you construct the entire case separately from the text block and then attach the case to the text block via the endpapers. Inevitably, I always end up just a little bit crooked, and because my brain currently refuses to let me try using paste instead of PVA, it's very hard to fix once the endpapers are pasted down.

With sewn boards binding, the boards are attached to the text block via an extra signature of folded cardstock on the ends of the text block. The case is then constructed directly onto the text block, and glueing the endpapers down is very, very easy and near-impossible to mess up.

The ends of the boards do end up exposed with this binding style. The first time I did it, I covered them with paper. This time, I painted them gold to match the cover:

[ID: A side view of the book, showing off the exposed boards near the spine which are painted gold. The front cover of the book can also be seen at an angle. /End ID]

I plan to experiment more in the future with potentially adding endbands to this binding style, as that's one thing I wish this book had that it does not.

For the cover design, I first cut out the stencils using my Silhouette:

[ID: A cutting mat with white vinyl stuck to it that has been cut and weeded to expose the backlit cherry blossom design. The title "Ten Thousand Flowers in Spring" and author name "bluejayblueskies" can be seen in the designs for the front cover and spine. /End ID]

I'd heard a lot of things about weeding, positive and negative, but I actually enjoyed doing the weeding on this 😂 it was like doing a puzzle in a way. I think I would like it less if I had to keep all of the tiny little pieces and make sure they looked nice, but as it was, all I had to do was remove them and it didn't matter if they got bent in the process.

The fabric paint I have dries very quickly, so I got very little bleed on my stencil and was able to remove it almost right away:

[ID: The back cover of the book with the vinyl stencil stuck to it, painted over somewhat messily with gold fabric paint. /End ID]

Overall, I was very happy with the stenciling process and will probably continue to do stencils as opposed to heat transfer vinyl unless I want to do some bigger, blockier designs in the future.

[charmedreincarnation]

Hi Maya! my name is Claire and I got into the void state, shifted and manifested my dream life using your lucid dreaming guide, and your recommended subliminals!

I think lucid dreaming is the easiest way to do anything spiritual related because dreams are the link of reality to the subconscious. I have now entered the void, shifted, and practice manifesting while using lucid dreaming. I had been trying for 3 years and your guide really gave me clarity I needed to complete my journey. This was a couple of months ago when I first read your post that I got my dream life so I just want to share my experiences in case it could help others!

Sooo….I first restarted my journey after downloading tumblr. I knew I wanted to do lucid dreaming so I did my research and found your guide and the rest is history. I started small, and after using FILD I combined that with your intention method and your recommended subliminals and it sped up my journey. I crawled before I walked and I first started with having small manifestations using lucid dreaming

In my lucid dreams

*I practiced driving in lucid dreaming and manifested my license

*I practiced my public speaking and manifested less anxiety

*i talked to my guardian Angel. It took form of an owl, which is the first spiritual experience I ever had.

Then I went bigger and tried shifting. After a week of practice I got lucid dreaming down and could become lucid every night.

Then I shifted. Best day of my life and I had no plans so I ended up shifting to a reality where no men exist 😭 it was honestly so fun and I spent a week of dr time telling women about what men are, what they do, and the oppression women in this reality faced. It was in a futuristic yet renaissancey type like reality. Anyways as I explored this new society I discovered something miraculous: the disappearance of men has actually created harmony. Women are now able to focus on themselves and the things that matter most to them without worrying about the men.This newfound bliss didn’t last long however as I soon realized that a new problem had emerged. With the absence of men many essential tasks were left undone. And so, the women of our society had formed a collective economy in order to fill this void.One of the most peculiar duties that the women had assumed was to take care of the sheep. With no shepherds to take care of them, women used their skills to care for these animals and protect them from the elements. They have become so adept at this task that they have perfected it. The lack of men may have been a dramatic adjustment, but it has made for a joyful and empowering society.

When I came back I made a list of realities, like self created ones, tv shows, books, etc that I wanted to shift my awareness to and historic past places I wanted to visit. I spent a lot of time doing that, I was barely ever in this cr tbh and I enjoyed it throughly. I decided then that I was going to one day permanent shift and explore the infinite vast world for eternity. When I came back to this reality after having the first initial exploring crave I realized I hated my life lmfaooo. But I knew about the void and started reading stories about that and then I decided I wanted to change my life here too.

I mean.. I have the multiverse to my will so might as well fix this life here too. I hated coming back to this reality after my shifts because my parents were abusive, I was kind of ugly, and my life had gone to shit. I didn’t really care to change it because I was barely here anyways but after reading Neville and the law and understanding that “clones” really don’t exist and I’m just switching states I decided up stop being such a loser and realize it’s all me and only me. Anyways I manifested a complete change in my life in every aspect. I don’t really care to make a list but I am gorgeous, my family is revised to be old money rich, loving,and taken care of, my house is 30,000 sq feet,revised my name to Claire (it’s so pretty I love it) I have a loving boyfriend who is into shifting and spirituality as well, and so much more. I still do plan to permanent shift one day and I reserve to sundays for exploring the multiverse but I want to enjoy this reality now.

I thought being here was an accident after shifting, but nope everything happens bc you intended to and it’s so goddamn beautiful. This came out super ranty and lame but I just wanted to share in case I motivated anyone! I still sometimes come on tumblr so can I be your 🎐 anon. I love seeing all the success stories and everyone living their best life ! Anyways the best tips I can give you as a stranger who has been through all this is be kind to yourself and never give up. You found it all for a reason and you deserve to have everything and you will.

The first reality you shifted to reminds me of a very vivid dream I had four months ago. Regardless anyways your entire experience is so beautiful and I relate a lot to your experience I’m glad you have found happiness in every reality including this one beloved :)! Thank you for sharing 🎐 anon

[fortheb0ys]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLYeA8Kt/

Okay okay okay

Pet play with Jeff vs Graves would be soo fun to see

Jeff only really gets rough if provoked, feels awful after usually unless it's sex. Then he's probably pretty satisfied, but even then he's really not that rough. Really gotta work him up to being rough, let him blow some steam in a safe environment where he won't be afraid to be "bad."

He has his moments, overwhelmed and probably panicked, especially after Shauna and her "book club." But he's not inherently a bad dog. He's a good boy, just needy and clingy, probably a bit insecure and wary around people.

That biting issue isn't awful after being with him for awhile, probably actually able to train him over Shauna. But sometimes he'll bite if something feels too good or he's frightened, but I can't imagine putting him in his kennel again over it. They're accidents, lost in his head like last time and everyone's learning from it

Graves?

Rough and mean for the hell of it. Is not satisfied by slow sappy shit unless you really work him in, or his day was genuinely terrible. But usually? Graves is wrestling and probably straight up sparring with you for dominance that he doesn't want.

Bites bites bites all the time. You look like you were thrown to the wolves after leaving a session with Graves, cannot train this out of him. It's his god given right as a puppy. Fuck him with a dildo with a knot? It's soo over for him. Eyes rolled back and drooling everywhere. 0 thoughts in this pups brain, literally none at all as he's shooting blanks over and over again.

He's bratty, mouthy. Loves to tease and be pampered. Stressed at work? Scratch behind his ears and coo at him and he's melting away, itching for that weight of a collar around his neck.

Anyways 😭 idk if any of that makes sense but you get to have my rambles anyways!

-🥭

AHHHH I WANNA DIG A HOLE IN YOUR SKULL TO LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN AND EAT YOUR THOUGHTS!! THIS SO PERFECT😭 This is fucking perfect! I'm so sorry if none of this makes sense.

Jeff is gentle natured. Only ever violent when really pushed in a corner or someone's threatening people dear to him. He's definitely not in control of his mouth when he experiences any overwhelming emotions. He would bite his lip, the inside of his mouth or tongue and not realize. He'd start panicing or whine when he taste blood.

He just doesn't like to be treated rough at all. Rough means punishment. He needs reassurance that he's not a bad boy and that no one's mad at him.

I feel like Jeff gets let off the handle more than he should. Don't want to push him and break his trust. He's, for the most part, well behaved. If he does something wrong he's most likely going to beg for forgiveness before he could get reprimanded.

His kennel isn't really for punishment. It's more of a safe space for him. Just plushies and throw blanket. It's only ever punishment if the cage is closed.

He likes everything soft and sweet, especially nicknames. Cute one like buddy, puppy, pumpkin, etc. He loves to be spoiled. Kisses and praises more the material things.

Shauna lets him stay at your place some weekends and as much as he loves spending time with you Jeff questions why Shauna doesn't love him anymore. He definitely soooooo fucking clingy. The type of dog to wait outside the bathroom door.

Shauna probably wouldn't have much patience with training him. Would give up quickly or scold him a little too hard. Gentleness is key in reinforcing Jeff's good behavior.

Graves gives the vibe of one of those pitbulls named 'Cupcake' or 'Princess'. He can be sweet but violence is in his nature. I think he reacts violently because that's how he was treated. He's violent with both play and sex. He'll violent rip apart toys and goes through them so easily. Old wounds can never heal properly cause he just bites over them (I have a fic talking about this actually).

Graves thinks if he does his mission he'll get rewarded but is let down constantly by Shepherd. He'll finish his mission and all Shepherd gives him is a cold pat on the back and his paycheck.

Yes, Graves loves the money but he craves to be praised both cause of his ego and his deep need to be wanted. If someone wants him, they pay.

Shepherd calls him a dog with a bone. He'd somehow learn of Graves' puppy play. Use it against him and for sometime Graves let him. He's loyal to the ones he's close with and it took alot to break that trust. But seeing his men, the ones he views as a pack, die made him snap.

So now with a new 'handler' he's never going to be fully trusting. He gave it away and it backfired.

I think Graves bite more so to show ownership. Yes, he has violent tendencies but he like to see markings. It's way of him keeping some level of control. Plus he just genuinely like to do it.

Graves accept no punishment. If boundaries are crossed or his actions too severe, just go quiet for a few days to scare him. He'll think he'll be abandon and will crawl back. It's a bit cruel but it's the only thing that works.

He has money so spoiling him with gifts isn't going to win any favor. He just wants someone to 'play' with. Honestly he'd probably pay. Of course, most of the paycheck is hush money.

Graves requires a lot of energy burning activity aka sex when in his head space. He's a busy man and doesn't get to relax often. I can imagine his has those heavy chain collar. Chain him somewhere and get him to fuck himself on a knotted dildo while trying to finish work than fuck him for hours after.

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

One night to forever.

Maybe it's not good enough but I hope someone loves this and gives me a ♥️.

You're feeling hopeless, a miracle is all you needed however you weren't expecting this miracle could arrive in the form of a tall, handsome Austrian man.

Warning: perhaps a lot of spelling and grammatical errors and a not very good story.

* Evicted * that's what the paper on your door said, it's not fair, you just couldn't pay two months of your rent, it's not fair, they don't understand how the last months had been for you.

‹ tap, tap, tap tap tap... › the sound of the raindrops hitting the window of the big hallway of your building is the only sound at the moment.

Malavita, your only loyal friend, that pretty German shepherd is sleeping beside you, trying to console you with his snoring, your thoughts are interrupted for the sound of footsteps, heavy footsteps.

- Hey, umm... Are you okay? Do you live here?

- not anymore...

That's all you said while pointing out to the door of your apartment and laughing sarcastically.

- oh...

- I Know, just another bad day. Anyway... What about you? I thought I was living alone in this floor.

- I live here but I rarely come home... Because of my job.

That accent, why are you still talking? In months you didn't talk to nobody and now you're talking to this stranger who says is your neighbor.

- That explains a lot... Well it was nice to meet you before I leave this place...

- ja, ja, So...Are you going to wait there until someone lets you take your stuff?

- I think so, I'll be fine, my old friend here... He will protect me.

- oh well... You and your friend can wait in my apartment, it's cold here... Just if you want.

You looked up and you were amazed by those eyes, that face, that scar on his face, those muscular arms, that body, you didn't realize when you stood up until malavita barked at this handsome stranger.

- Malavita, sit!... Good boy, he will not harm us, he's trying to help.

You spoke softly to your dog and then your eyes found your neighbor's eyes again.

- Sorry, my dog is my only friend at the moment and it can be overprotective, we'll accept your invitation if... You tell me your name before I get inside.

He smiled at you and your dog.

- Fair enough, call me König, nice to meet you...

- König... I like it, I'm (Y/n) and this boy is Malavita.

He opened the door and let you get inside first, the air of his apartment smells like a forest, green walls, black furniture, paintings and warm illumination, he's definitely a man with nice taste and a very attractive face and hot body, impossible and very unprovable he is single.

- wow! This place is amazing... I bet your wife decorated all this place...

A laugh interrupted your thoughts, now you're feeling a strange necessity to hear that laugh again.

- Sorry for that laugh, I'm single, my job doesn't allow me to have long relationships, you know? Not all women like the 'long distance' and all the time I'm far.

- it's okay, I liked it, so... You're single because of your job, what kind of job keeps you so busy?

- before I answer that, lemme offer you a drink, I think I have water... Or a soda or tea, or coffee?

- You're very kind, a Black coffee would be perfect.

You both walked to the kitchen, your dog was already very comfortable laying on the sofa.

- well, I can't give you many details but... I kinda work for a private military company.

- oh! Why didn't I think about that? I mean... Look at you, you're in good shape, and the scars, don't get me wrong, they look good on you...

Why are you saying that? Wait... Did he blush because of your comment? This man is captivating you.

- thank you! Here's your coffee, you're someone very pretty too... Or in good shape...

Now you're the one who's blushing, you have to change the conversation or say anything else.

- black coffee, nothing better than this taste! Thank you... Can I be honest with you?

- Ja! Feel free to talk, hübsch.

- I have been through a lot these last few months, you're the first person who actually treats me nice... thank you könig.

- I understand what you mean, we all have bad times, I'm glad I can help you.

And he wasn't lying, könig had a bad month, he was exhausted, all those missions, injuries, reports. Being here at his apartment with you, makes him feel different, he felt airy, something on you makes him feel relaxed, he even wonders if this is the beginning of a new friendship... Or something else?.

There's some silence, not the kind of silence that makes you feel uncomfortable but the silence that feels good, but He needs to know more about you, he feels intrigued and curious about you.

- So, (y/n) I don't intend to be... obtrusive, but what's the story behind the overdue payment of your rent.

You sighed, pressed your lips and avoided his eyes and after a few minutes you finally spoke.

- I was a pilot, I lost my job recently, you know... I was in this relationship, he broke my heart, he cheated on me, I got depressed, that's the reason, I can't go back home because my mom won't allow me and my brother doesn't have space for me at his home... That's the story.

- why won't your mother allow you to go home?

- That's another story, the main reason is that I decided to follow my father's steps, he was a pilot too... In the army, he died in action, my mother tried to keep my brother and me far away from the army and planes... Anything that could remind her of my father, but in the end I did it, I became a pilot, not In the army though. But that ruined my relationship with my mother. My brother is married, has a lot of kids, no space for me and my dog.

- I... I'm sorry for making all those questions, maybe it wasn't the best idea...

- oh it's okay, I think I needed to let all this out, speak to someone, Malavita is loyal and a great companion but not a great conversationalist.

And at this comment he laughed, so u did it too, your great moment was interrupted by the sound of someone in the hallway caught your attention.

- perhaps is the owner of the apartment, I'll go to check...

- of course, do you need help?

- oh well, I don't want to abuse your hospitality but do u think I can sleep on your sofa tonight?

- of course, you can spend the night here, not on my sofa though, I'm a gentleman... You can take the bedroom, I'll take the sofa.

It took you a few minutes to pack just the important and negotiate when you would pay the rent debt. By the time you knocked at König's door, he already had some food on the table, and Malavita was playing with him.

- hey! come in, I prepared dinner, take a seat, we were waiting for you.

This image brought some fireworks to your heart, are you dreaming? You don't feel that hole in your chest anymore, König filled it in less than one day, this man is so kind to you, is he the miracle you were praying for?

That night, turned into one week, one month, then 3 months, a friendship developed, both knew more of each other, you got a new job, he started to visit his apartment more often, he didn't say it loud but you and Malavita became a good reason to come back, to take care of himself in his missions, eventually, you and könig took the relationship to the next level, that's how it happened, that's how this man arrived to your life, and that's how you gave him a new perspective and hope to his.

[neonscandal]

Hello, I'm new here and I really liked your tumblr. I would like it if you could answer my question. Don't you think Saturo is a little needy, you know he always wants to get people's attention, he always wants to force a friendship, that scares me a little, he can even be unnecessary sometimes.

Hiii! I literally have no idea how you came across my blog but I'm happy if it made you feel welcome ❤️ Thanks for reaching out.

Don't be scared by the tall man with the impossible eyes and bulk volume suffering. He's here to help! ✨

I mean, you pretty accurately described Gojo, tbqh. He is needy, I wouldn't say he wants to get people's attention... but he has it, anyway, he is desperately reaching out for human connection, he frequently ponders and is consumed by the unnecessary (just as much as the necessary) and people tend to conflate his strength with his identity.

How do we put one at ease with this larger than life personality? We speedrun it, of course. The best way to empathize with someone is to understand how they got from point A to point D and this is as it applies in real life, too. Consider this my humble offering toward this threat I made a few years ago. Going to avoid spoilers beyond what's been animated but this is still going to be a long one so strap in! JK there's a minor spoiler that's marked (⚠️) but it's not a major plot point.

IN DEFENSE OF GOJO

A mostly unsolicited essay ✨

Before we get into how Gojo became Gojo, let's look at the basic information we know about jujutsu society in universe.

Curses are formed by negative emotional runoff, typically from people who can't control cursed energy.

There are humans who are born with cursed techniques but the brains of humans so their powers were dormant until Kenjaku!Geto activated them in the last episode of season 2.

Those with power that are beyond the comprehension of the elders happen to find themselves carrying death sentences (as it applies to Yuta Okkotsu and Yuji Itadori, specifically).

There are 3 Big Families: the Gojo, Kamo, and Zenin Clans, likened to nobility, which have been active since the Golden Age of Jujutsu hundreds of years ago.

Generally, the Gojo clan inherits the Limitless technique. Six Eyes is a lot less frequent and both techniques haven't manifested in one user in over 100 years until Gojo was born. (Purple or Hollow Purple is another hidden move which each family has some extra razzle dazzle offshoots from their main cursed technique.)

Kamo clan passes along Blood Manipulation (re: Choso, Noritoshi Kamo, the Kyoto student, and Noritoshi Kamo, the blemish on the Kamo clan who created the cursed womb paintings)

Zenin clan has the Ten Shadows Technique (re: Megumi. Bear in mind, previously a Zenin Ten Shadows user fought a Gojo Six Eyes + Limitless user and the fight ended in a stalemate that resulted in both of their deaths).

Anomalies, like that of Maki and Toji, exist even in these age old clans where an heir is born without the ability to manipulate cursed energy and/or see curses.

Of the above and those of the main cast specifically, the inheritors of these generations' old techniques have pretty shit origin stories. They are privileged but cursed in a way. Heavy is the head, and all.

BIG THREE FAMILY CULTURE

We haven't gotten a lot of insight into the Gojo clan except that it's basically a clan of one: Satoru Gojo.

Noritoshi, the Kyoto student, bears the name of the blot of the Kamo clan and is a bastard son who happened to inherit the familial technique. Because of this, he is shepherded into the fold of the Kamo the family, foisted into a position of responsibility, and separated from his "disgrace" of mother. She leaves him, knowing her presence would hold him back, and hopes that her sacrifice in doing so will enable him to better help others. ⚠️ However, when Kenjaku!Geto used remote Idle Transfiguration to awaken dormant vessels and dormant cursed technique users, the proper firstborn heir of the Kamo clan's inherited technique was awakened which swiftly saw Noritoshi's expulsion from his status and the clan.

The most damning evidence we have of the culture of these families is from the Zenin clan:

They terrorized Toji Zenin, despite his inhuman strength, simply because he was born without the ability to manipulate cursed energy. To the extent that an incident from his childhood left his face scarred and likely radicalized him into the sorcerer killer he is today.

Mai and Maki were gravely mistreated because, in addition to being girls, they were born twins which is considered highly unfavorable.

The twin superstition is "justified" by Mai's weak cursed technique and Maki's inability to see curses or manipulate cursed energy.

The misogynistic treatment of the girls is likely not uncommon within the Big Three families given 1) what we've seen happen to Kamo's mom, 2) the treatment of the twins' mother, and 3) the way that Gojo vehemently advises that Tsumiki would never be happy with the Zenin clan (as both a jujutsu outside and because she's a girl as determined by events that haven't been animated yet).

Empirically, from the above, we can extrapolate that familial ties don't mean shit in the Big Three Families, blood relations are tenuous at best. Tradition, power and hereditary techniques reign supreme to maintain status. Those outside of the blessed few are at the mercy of more powerful members of the family which will be more evident in season 3.

💡 As an aside, kinda interesting to think about Geto's ideology applied to these traditional families. In fact, I wonder if Geto cultivated his beliefs based on what Gojo told him about his family.

UNDERSTANDING THE CHARACTERIZATION OF GOJO

Now that we understand society as Gojo would have known it, let's get into how he experiences the world from birth.

Canonically, his birth shifted the power balance between sorcerers and curses. A lot of readers assume he has a god complex which, in addition to being categorically false, is more a reflection of his canonical in universe power. He is neither a god nor does he necessarily perceive himself to be one. But that's not to say he doesn't have a bit of an attitude problem.

He is born with both the Limitless and Six Eyes techniques which, again, hasn't happened in over 100 years. Subsequently, stronger curses are on the rise to compensate for this dramatic shift in power.

💡 Lowkey, I kinda headcanon that the influx of more powerful curses comes from the bitter resentment that periphery individuals must have harbored against Gojo because, let's be real. He's clearly Mappa's favorite and it brings out the anti in everybody IRL lol I can only imagine in universe if you were born to a jujutsu family and lost out on the genetic lottery when it came to cursed energy.

He explicitly draws the ire of curses and cursed users alike with a bounty that immediately incites an onslaught of first come, first serve mercenaries. As a child. Even Toji, the great sorcerer killer, tries to get the drop on a young Satoru Gojo but none are successful at coming close. Not even the invisible man.

From what we know of the Big Three above, the miracle of Gojo's inheritance would likely push him into a place of great power and influence within his clan, even from an early age. Further, we've seen what the burden of responsibility an inherited technique looks like as it applies to Noritoshi Kamo. Gojo would have been burdened with this status and, simultaneously, constantly placated by others so as to appease the miraculous heir.

Additionally, as we saw with Noritoshi, other clans may also have a vested interest in currying favor with the young heir because even proximity to Gojo creates a sense of power and status.

By blood, Yuta is a distant, distant cousin of Gojo's from a branch family and we see how OP he is.... Later in the story, Gege makes it a point to use the Great Satoru Gojo as a measure of power and, subsequently, more explicitly how close other characters' power, prowess or technique come close to that of Gojo's.

Subsequently, as the Kamo clan heir, Noritoshi tries to ingratiate himself to Megumi despite the fact that he's no longer even connected to the Zenin clan. He curses that Mai didn't inherit Ten Shadows to make relations a bit smoother. Gojo would likely have several people vying for his attention and grace whether he wants it or not.

I think you can see how, a smart kid like Gojo who literally has nothing but time to process and compute the ways of the world around him, would come to understand the motivations of others as it specifically relates to him and his power. It would be understandable if he were innately wary and distrustful of others, especially when you consider his initial experience as the target of an onslaught of, albeit unsuccessful, assassination attempts.

Here, I think, is what really gives life to the isolation that Gojo feels from a very young age which is only known by those with immense power like Sukuna and other characters who've yet to be revealed. Gojo is less an individual and more a means to an end. He is a monolith for power, protection and status. His power is so incomprehensible for other sorcerers of the era that his potential for vulnerability is taken for granted.

With a culture that prioritizes strength over, perhaps, morality, it makes sense why, when we see Gojo years later as a high school student, he is relatively disrespectful toward his elders and thinks it is silly that the strong should have to diminish themselves for the comfort of the weak. Bear in mind, this disrespect is likely because no one was really checking him on manners from a young age. Further, from his experience, strength has always been commodified, why would you diminish that? He was and remains head of the Gojo clan with all the pomp and circumstance that comes with that.

Enter Suguru Geto, the smoking gun as to why we know Gojo doesn't have a god complex. Suguru, like Geto, is the only other special grade sorcerer aside from Yuki Tsukumo (and she makes it a point to not take missions). Qualified as equals, the two are constantly doled out missions that higher ups are not even equipped to handle. Try not catching an ego about that.

Even though their power may not necessarily be on par with one another, it is enough that Gojo deems Geto an equal. Their friendship tempers Gojo's character in ways his family could not.

THE HUMANITY OF A GOD

Gojo is not a god but, to those around him, he's certainly lauded as such. Part of that entails inherently overlooking that which makes him vulnerable, makes him human. As someone who can, at will, literally turn off the ability to be touched at all, the premise is ironic. But the fact remains, from all the above and his behavior therein, it seems as though Gojo had to wait until high school to act like a kid at all and that is all thanks to Geto.

As an outsider, Geto's opposing ideology suggests that the strong are meant to protect the weak and keep others who are strong in check. Gojo is frequently shown taking Geto's criticism and point of view under critical advisement. In fact, realizing how out of touch he is with the reality of others, he defers to Geto as a moral compass, trusting implicitly in his judgement.

Not only that but, from what we saw during the Kyoto Goodwill Event, it is not uncommon for sorcerers to be wary of disclosing what their cursed technique is to other sorcerers. You can never be too careful nor can you know who's a cursed user in the making, even amongst your own classmates. With inherited techniques, word gets around but... Geto, an outsider, was intimately aware of the drawback Gojo experienced when overusing his technique and that speaks volumes about how comfortable Gojo was being vulnerable with him.

Geto encourages Gojo to speak more politely to his elders, again, a pushback he clearly wasn't getting anywhere else or, perhaps, direction he simply wasn't taking from anyone else.

Because Gojo recognizes Geto as an equal, he is more relaxed and able to behave accordingly which Geto graciously allows and creates a safe space for. Imagine all the steam this little weirdo has been holding in out of obligation? Moreover, as someone who has always undeniably been the strongest person in any room, imagine the relief in finally knowing that there is someone else you can rely on? Feel safe with? Someone you can be needy and greedy with. Gojo found his One and Only best friend.

Geto allows him to authentically be himself AND HE STARES AT HIM LIKE THIS WHILE DOING SO!

Additionally, we talk about Gojo being unnecessary at time, which he is. I poke a lot of fun at how Gojo will take in what someone like Yaga explains to him and then the output is some Digimon reference a lot. He literally speaks in gibberish half the time but Geto just... understands him. Or makes it a point to try. Bear in mind, Gojo's silly goofiness belies his penchant for serious contemplation, as well, as he's knowledgeable about historical poetry, prominent figures and events. The dichotomy of this is whiplash inducing to Ijichi. If you think about the adage, those who don't know history are destined to repeat it, it shines an interesting light on why Gojo seems to have such a wealth and emphasis on the history of not only jujutsu sorcerers but also other politics at play dating back centuries. Even more so if you consider ItaFushi to be SatoSugu 2.0 as... the story kind of feels that way, doesn't it? BACK TO THE POINT, Gojo behaves like a fool but he isn't stupid.

I think this arrogance and silly facade is a product of being plugged into the reality of what it truly means for the few to protect the greater good. He's probably hyper aware of the prospective survival rate of his peers based on empirical information he has at his disposal. It's why he pointblank tells Ijichi not to become a sorcerer. I think it's also why he's frivolous with having and creating fun. Not just for his kohais but later for his students. With Geto, he experiences a closeness he hadn't had with anyone else and it improves his ability to connect with others by extension.

I know this is not from the canon material but I think this is the perfect inclusion as to Gojo's proclivity for frivolity. LOOK AT HIM.

MISSION FAILURE AND FALL OUT

Based on the information we have currently, Gojo didn't exactly have the same splintered origins that Megumi and Noritoshi had. But from the above and his socialization with people outside of the Gojo clan, we see how coming from a place of privilege can still create deficiencies. But it isn't enough to simply learn and benefit from the good times. Maybe people take for granted that which isn't tested or taken away. We can't fully understand adult Gojo without understanding the failures of teenage Gojo.

Tasked with a mission that literally impacts the fate of the world and is relayed as such, the two special grade sorcerers take on the Star Plasma Vessel mission. As we saw in season 2, it didn't exactly end well. From this we can glean the following:

From the beginning and despite that which hung in the balance if they were unsuccessful, Gojo and Geto were willing to blow it all, come what may, if the vessel opted out of the merger. They were willing to fight Tengen themselves to spare one life even if it destabilized everything else. The idea of which seems Icarian in nature and we saw how that worked out for Icarus.

Toji's plan of attrition (wearing Gojo down specifically) was successful partly because of the false sense of security engineered by Shiu Kong that allowed them to recapture Kuroi.

However, based on Gojo's hubris, Gojo and Geto were already living in a false sense of security. Any attempts Geto made to temper Gojo's ego were appeased by the fact that, he wasn't alone. Finally. He had Geto and Gojo was insulated in the comfort and security he found in Geto's company. He could take on Tengen, he could risk another night in Okinawa burning through his stamina. It did not matter if he had Geto to rely on. They were the strongest.

Turns out it did matter and they were both foiled, thoroughly. The fall out of these events results in the following:

Gojo's evolution wherein he learns how to control reversed curse energy which shoots him past his previous limits.

Gojo avenges his loss to Toji and Riko, by extension (that order feels important to mention). He achieves a level of enlightenment and transcendence which saw the successful use of the Red Technique that he'd been unable to use in a fight against a lackey during the same mission which also made it possible to execute the finisher attack Hollow Purple, resulting in the fight's end.

Upon reclaiming Riko's body from the Time Vessel Association, Gojo, in the haze of his victory, asks Geto if they should slaughter the people celebrating Riko's death. Showing that, regardless of his power up, he still needs Geto's guidance and values the opinion of his equal. I say this even though we know Gojo lies about Shoko treating his injuries. Even he's aware that this latest evolution creates a greater disparity between their relative strength but he defers to him anyway.

Geto begins questioning whether the lives of non-sorcerers who are capable of such evil are really worth fighting and/or dying for.

The acknowledgement that, even though there is nothing beyond special grade classification, Gojo became the strongest.

Foundationally, Gojo came to terms with the vulnerability that Toji was able to exploit and subsequently trained to remediate that. Simultaneously, Geto fell deeper and deeper into a despair over a persisting moral crisis that Gojo, with Six Eyes at his disposal, was incapable of seeing or understanding. The occurrence of which is maddening to me, personally but such is the way of a fatal flaw.

Geto's subsequent and "sudden" defection pulled the rug from beneath Gojo's feet.

We have seen him dust off countless attempts on his life as a child, shoulder the burden of the Gojo clan as a child, execute his obligations as a sorcerer regardless of his beliefs as a child, and bear the brunt of jujutsu society because of the magnitude of his strength as a child and he never batted an eye. Not to say he didn't have something flippant to say about it but he endured it.

But with Geto's abandonment, whatever security he'd finally found was abruptly destabilized and it's important to note that only when it comes to Geto do we see Gojo's nonchalant facade falter. When he learns of the attack on the village with Yaga, when he confronts Geto in the streets of Shinjuku, when he encounters Kenjaku wearing Geto's corpse, he's not so silly goofy anymore is he?

Finding Geto was like finally feeling the warmth of the summer sun on your face after living in the shadows of a cave all your life. For Gojo, his departure was like never knowing that warmth again.

Not to mention, his immense power and status of being the only other special grade sorcerer meant he also had to carry the weight of being his best friend's executioner. Please.

He spends his adult life cultivating strength in others, rescuing kids from a society that seeks to destroy what they refuse to understand, uniting other so they aren't burdened by the same loneliness that plagues him and, whenever possible, trying to bring light and fun to the lives of kids who may never make it out of high school because that's the reality of sorcerers. That's the burden of responsibility they carry so, in between missions, he tries to be silly, he tricks them, he leads them on wild goose chases so they actually get out and experience their youth properly.

You're not meant to fear Gojo. Fear the society that allowed for these things to happen because he's trying to fix it. If anything, pity the man who is not allowed to be weak or vulnerable because he has always known the weight of the world. He could have been a god but he chose instead to love and it was his undoing.

If you'd like to pity Gojo further, dive into an expansive list of all the SatoSugu brainrot I could think of.

Lowkey, this feels like a call out, because why am I also terrible like this?? Am I being cyber bullied? I feel like this took me several days to write.

[brainrotcharacters]

Legacy

I have to do everything myself. /nm

ship: Captain Price x filo!141!reader

summary: running away from your birth family and then using a new name to enlist in the military came back to haunt you... of course it does.

a/n: I awakened my daddy issues and create a little something for the platonic dad Price lovers of the fandom.

tags: sfw. angst comfort. platonic dad Price. reader is a member of 141. post-mw2 (2022). Price calls reader “kid” but they are an adult (Price is just a dad). John Price being a good dad because look at him he’s literally dad shaped, Filipino words, Price speaking Filipino

You knew this would happen, but you still hated that you had been correct.

The paper that your family used to write you their last letter rustled in your trembling hand. They discovered that you enlisted in the military, after you ran away from them. You were a skilled enough schemer to get on top of your government documents to change your name, but in the middle of Shepherds' and Graves' betrayal, they made sure your family found you. Now they were both dead, and they were still fucking up your life in particular.

Wag ka nang bumalik. it said at the bottom, in your father's heavy penmanship. You wouldn't be surprised if he broke the pen he used.

Cheering and laughter resounded from outside the hangar. Oh, what good would come out of telling the boys? They were tired from that goose chase with Shepherd, and Soap was with Rudy when they made sure Graves was KIA. What they deserved was a full 8 hours of sleep, a full meal, and maybe a good lay unless you flirted your way through and stole their girl for yourself.

"Hey." Captain Price jogged up to you. "Where's all that victory yellin' a while ago, huh? The noise doesn't feel complete without you."

You drew your lips into a line, angling the paper away from his line of sight. "Mhm."

Price narrowed his eyes. The softness in his voice was only exhaustion, you were sure. "Everything all right back home?"

That word made you laugh. Home. Spending each day of each week under a roof with children who don't have sympathy (or empathy for that matter) because their parents never do. There were adults who should've acted more like Laswell when Gaz asked her get-to-know questions over the stupid comms. You suffered so many 'family gatherings' where your cousins and yourself were told to be more brotherly or sisterly, but when Soap was bleeding out because of Graves, you kept him lucid while you maintained his wound. You went back-and-forth with Ghost and his jokes. You jumped over 4x4s with Gaz and made it a competition just because. Rudy bantering with you in Spanish felt sweeter because the others were learning the language at the sidelines. Alejandro was happy to see you too, when you all came to save him from custody. The fact is, you gained two new brothers living in Mexico, and the rest are lumbering from the plane to the barracks to get some damn rest.

And Price. To answer his question, you offered the paper to him.

He gave it a simple glance, then shifted his attention back up at your face. "You sure, kid?"

You nod. "I trust you."

He slowly took the letter from your hands, and muttered some words that caught his eye. You wandered several steps away, hands on your hips and thoughts zooming through your mind. The exhaustion hasn't quite settled into your bones yet... or maybe it already has.

"What does 'wag ka nang bumalik' mean?" Price's eyebrows were furrowed. He was confused but open-minded in the way that the father who wrote that letter could never be. Even for you.

You clench your jaw. "Don't come back."

Price blinked, and the weariness that he otherwise already showed a while ago disappeared from his eyes. His shoulders squared, he was alert again. He was back on mission mode because of you.

"Shepherd's and Graves's last hurrah, or whatever." You take the paper back, breathing in. "I always wondered what being rejected actually feels like. Normally, I'm already gone before it happens."

"Oi..."

You shake your head, lifting a finger at your captain. He shouldn't sound so fatherly at this moment. Not right now. "I don't care. Really! I don't care. If they don't want to take me back, I'm not going back. It's so much effort to pack my things, and book a flight, and drive there if I'm going to get kicked out before I even see the welcome mat behind the door."

Price was looking at you with that warm, understanding, patient look on his face. You don't fucking deserve that! "Listen, if you're mad, then be mad. You're allowed."

You threw your hands up, defeated. "You can tell, can't you, Captain? Because it's natural for you to pay attention to everyone under your authority. I believe that you'd protect me because you follow through all the damn time. You're very cool when you do that, by the way."

"Thanks." he smiled fondly.

"And you know what? When they put me in charge of a unit, the best thing I can hear from those people is how much I act like you. They like how organized my operations are, how I praise their skills in the field, how I check up on them. I never learned any of that from him!" you lifted the paper, physically unable to say the name of your biological father. "Captain, it is so easy not to give a shit about any of these people. But I know I'm your legacy, and I know how to do things right. It feels good to be in a team."

Price stepped closer. Within reach, if you were all right with that sort of thing now. While he does want to hold you, his judgment call inclines more to prioritizing what you need. "Yeah, I'm really proud of you."

The first tears escaped your eyes, and you turned your head away smiling. Your voice broke. "That's not fair. You know I turn into a baby when you say that."

"Aren't you our baby?" Price frowned. Playful. "Ghost would never say it, but we all know you have scary older brother privileges. You're absolutely infuriating when you're with Soap, and Gaz always talks about how you dethroned him. See? You're our bunso." (youngest)

You studied his face for signs of lies and deceit that you knew you'd never see. He continued, approaching with his hands open and pacifistic. "You let me read the letter, so I have some idea about what's going on here. It's not your fault."

"Shut the fuck up." you laugh through your tears.

"It’s not your fault. I'm proud of you for having the strength to leave, and the wits to make sure they don't follow you here... well, until Shepherd and Graves." he sighed, cradling your face between his palms. Never mind the dust and dirt on his gloves. It was all over the both of you. "But we're 141. On this little slice of the world, we have room for kids like you."

He pecked your forehead and then gently wrapped his arms around you. You gladly melted into his embrace, hugging him back as tightly and lovingly as you could. "Understood, anak?" (kid, child)

"Opo, papa." (Yes, dad.)

[iravaid]

i mean this in thee most slash jay way possible but what was in the water the past year to make everyone like this about graves. and also can i have some

If you're asking about the Graves Yaoi Prophecy, that was all me and my undiagnosed neurological condition.

If you're asking why cod of duty girlies were charmed by Graves post-MW2, I would reason to say that Warren Kole's performance as him really sells the character.

His weird little zoolander smoulder during 'your men have been... detained' is so funny to me. Again, his VA's performance turns a character that was otherwise a forgettable 'twist' villain into something that's so funny when viewed out of context:

His name is Philip Graves. Fill Graves. Are you fucking kidding me. He's a cringey girlfailure that lost a tank in a knifefight. But that's okay because he never was in the tank to begin with, of course. duh. He is this vexing, looney tunes contrast to the other more 'serious' villains (Valeria, Makarov, that guy from MW1). His Shadows are cannonfodder that get conveniently killed at every opportunity and yet he still goes about acting like they're anything more than walmart brand mercs. The MW3 trailer oddly fixates on his fertile gyrating hips as he walks through the heli. Everybody hates his entire septic pussy with a burning fucking passion and he knows it. Farah, somehow and for some reason, thinks he's the most special little handbag dog and watches out for hawks on his account. He out-snakes Shepherd by stabbing him in the back at the last moment, arguably the only enjoyable moment from MW3.

He's blond. He's texan. He will never fucking die. God bless america.

[sireditsalot4]

Summary: You have a hard time controlling your emotions and feelings around Cristina. The gang tries to help you but deep down you know you have to do this yourself.

Pairing: Reader x Cristina Yang

You sat down at the table where the gang is and let out a sigh of relief. Due to an illegal race accident, Dr. Shepard had you everyone, testing, doing surgery’s left and right. You were exhausted.

“Woah. What’s the matter with you?” Alex asks.

“I’m not in the mood for you right now.” You warn, pointing your fork at him at the last part. Alex doesn’t light up. “Come on, what is it? I’m your friend. You can tell me anything.” He reassures with that voice that makes your jaw tighten.

“I’m not going to be able to enjoy my meal, am I?” Alex shakes his head. Meredith rolls her eyes. “Leave them alone. They’re going through something right now, something personal,” Meredith adds. You shake your head knowing that won’t be enough. “How come you told them and not me?” Alex says, sounding slightly hurt.

“I didn’t know.” George says looking around the table. A sigh escapes you and you could careless. Any control you had went out the window.

Your beeper goes off and you quickly check it to see it’s Dr. Shepard again. “Come on!” You drop your fork with a piece of lettuce you just stabbed and get up.

Slipping your arm through the white coat, you stop In front of Dr. Shepherd. You see he has a chart full of names unchecked and you can feel yourself collapsing on the inside. “You needed me?” You ask, making eye contact.

“There you are, I need you to check on some patients and then do a rectal exam.” Disgust plasters on your face but you quickly dismiss it. “Yes Doctor.” He hands over a chart and you take it, turning and leaving to begin your new quest.

“I have a hot patient to attend to, so if you’ll excuse me.” Alex gets up. George waits for Alex to be completely gone before asking. “What’s really going on with Y/N?” Meredith and Izzie both look at each other. “You can’t tell him or anyone tho. She made us promise not to tell anyone so you have to not tell, pinky swear.” Izzie holds out her pinky. “I promise. Now what’s going on?”

“Y/N likes Cristina.”

George’s mouth opens in shock. “Wow. I mean, who wouldn’t. Does Cristina know?” Meredith shakes her head. “She’s too scared. Stuff like this is rough, especially for someone young.” All three of them nod.“Remember when I had a crush on you,” Meredith nods. “I remember. It was the cutest I’ve seen you.”

You snap your gloves off and rubs your hands on your coat. “Why is this happening to me?” You whisper to yourself. Looking ahead, you see Cristina talking with Doctor Burke and duck behind a corner. This is so sad. Peaking your head out, you see they are both gone and fully come out and running into Cristina who has a look on her face. You silently scream and place a hand over your chest. “You scared me.”

“You scared me. Who are you hiding from?” Cristina asks, looking around. You freeze looking at her, your mouth opens and close but nothing comes out. “From Dr. Shepherd. He has me every where right now so I’m just hiding,” You take a second to gather yourself, hoping she doesn’t notice.

Cristina eyes you before nodding. “I haven’t seen him down here so he’s probably upstairs. See you.” She says before leaving. You let out a deep breath before heading upstairs for Dr. Shepherd. Way to go.

[n0cturna1-m3]

Tarts | John "Soap" MacTavish x Male Reader | Fluff

Fem/Minors DNI

Warnings; Little bit of kissing but that's all

Request; "could you please write some soap x male reader fluff? like quite domestic and they're baking together and have a dog maybe?" @sammy863

A/N; MY FIRST REQUEST YEAAHH!! In all honesty, I tried writing this 4 times before giving up and having my friend help me, and thank god I asked because I was pulling my hair out. I wonder if you can tell what my favourite dog breed is? /s anyway, enjoy lads!

About 1.3k words

Mo grá means 'My love' in Irish btw

“Johnny,” Y/N whined, stopping his hands that were kneading shortbread dough and hanging his head back. “When will I be done? My arms are sore.”

John turned his head to look at him while continuing to mix the tart filling he was working on. “Stop complaining,” he scolded, turning his attention back to the fruity mix. “You can put it in the fridge”

Y/N moulded it into a ball and wrapped it in clingfilm tightly, leaving no room for air bubbles before taking it to the fridge and placing it inside, shutting it behind him.

“Until it gets firm, then you can roll it flat ‘n cut it,” John said. He paused his stirring when feeling Y/N creep up behind him and wrap one of his arms around his large build. “What are you up to?”

“Nothin’” Y/N said, bringing his other hand around and revealing a bottle of whiskey, attempting to pour it into John’s handiwork, the latter grabbing his hand and squeezing.

“Awa you and chew mah banger,” The brunette hissed, squeezing Y/N’s hand. He placed the bottle on the counter but didn’t let go of it, keeping a tight grip on it. He leaned in and kissed John’s neck, proceeding to rest his chin on his shoulder.

“Aye, sorry mo gráh” Y/N replied, hand travelling down and resting on John’s hip. “I was just trying to make it taste better. You know I would though.” He whispered the last part, kissing his lover's neck again. John scoffed and patted his head before dipping his finger in the filling and putting it in front of Y/N’s lips.

“Taste.” Y/N complied, taking his finger into his mouth and licking the sweet jam off it.

“God, it’s sweet,” He grunted, playfully scrunching up his face. “It’s good, I like it.”

John hummed and pushed the bowl away from him, wrapping the top with cling film before turning around to look at Y/N who smiled and kissed him on the nose.

“I think Alfie would like some,” Y/N mentioned, letting the whiskey go and taking the spoon from the bowl, stepping away from John.

“Don’t you dare,” He warned, reaching for Y/N’s hand. He had already alerted their anatolian shepherd by saying his name, the big dog trotting into the kitchen with his ears perked up. He wagged his tail at the sight of Y/N running past him with a spoonful of jam.

“Come on, laddy! Don’t get me caught!” Y/N laughed running through the small house with both Alfie and John on his heels. Y/N slid on the wood floors because of his socks, almost running into a wall.

“Don’t you give him that, Y/N! I’ll kick your arse!” He yelled as he chased the two, almost barreling straight through their bedroom door when Y/N closed it in his face and locked it behind him, pressing his back to it to keep it closed while he laughed. He let the large dog lick the spoon clean while John made empty threats and scolded him while pounding on the door. “You’ll have to come out eventually.”

“Aye, I will!” He said, taking shaky breaths between his laughter. “But you won’t stick to any a those threats, will ya now?”

In response, John unlocked the door and shouldered it open, Y/N stumbling forward and tripping over Alfie, landing face first into the floor. Alfie picked up the spoon in his jaws and bolted past John, disappearing into the living room to lick it clean. Y/N was cackling as John grabbed his left ankle and began dragging him back into the hallway, his own laughter joining Y/N’s. Y/N grabbed onto the doorway with both his hands and effectively stopped John from yanking him any further through the home, struggling to break free from his tight grip.

John eventually let him go and Y/N rolled onto his back, a wide grin on his face as he looked up at John, sharing his fond gaze. He dropped to his knees, straddling Y/N’s legs and cupping his face, pulling him into a chaste kiss. Y/N was still giggling, wrapping his arms around John’s waist and rocking side to side as best he could. John lightly slapped his cheek and pulled away from him, Y/N’s wide, toothy smile making him laugh.

“You look like a gobshite,” He said. Y/N shrugged his shoulders and looked at him with adoration, leaning up to kiss him.

“I love you, Johnny,” Y/N whispered against John’s lips, leaning in to give him another kiss. He reciprocated it, tilting his head and smiling. Y/N let one of his hands travel down John’s back, sneakily resting on his ass and giving it a tight squeeze.

“No, we are not doing this in the hallway,” John said, pulling away from Y/N’s face and putting his hand over his mouth. The H/C furrowed his eyebrows and pouted, but John gave him a stern look that screamed ‘There will be no negotiation.’

Y/N licked John’s hand, the latter groaning and sitting up, wiping his hand on Y/N’s shirt with a face of disgust.

“Are you willing to reconsider?” He queried, tilting his head and looking at his lover with a smug face. He shook his head with a grin and attempted to stand, only to be pulled into Y/N’s arms again, wrapping them around his waist tighter and flipping them over and kissing John again.

His hands rested on John’s hips and he leaned down to kiss him on the cheek, pulling away and looking down at John.

“I love you, Johnny,” Y/N said as he kissed John again, the latter wrapping his arms around Y/N’s neck loosely. He deepened the kiss by parting his lips and running his tongue on Y/N’s own, him opening his mouth and welcoming John’s wet tongue into his mouth, sighing at the feeling of being so close to him. Y/N would never get sick of this feeling, his chest tightening and mind buzzing with excitement and affection for John, all for him, and only for him.

Alfie walked over and stared at his parents with what could only be described as disgust. The only option he had to stop this nonsense of his humans trying to eat each other's faces was obvious to him: jump on Y/N’s back and dig all four of his large paws into his skin to end this incident. So that is exactly what he did.

Y/N grunted as Alfie pushed him off of John rather aggressively, resting on his side as he barked at them both and took up a playful stance before stepping on John and laying all his body weight on him, glaring at Y/N with his big brown puppy eyes.

Scoffing, Y/N sat up and stared at the two, a betrayal written all over his face. “I can’t believe this!” He exclaimed, watching John as he laughed and wrapped his arms around the big dog. “You’ve chosen this boyo over me!”

“I haven’t, honest!” John laughed, ruffling Alfie’s thick fur as he looked at Y/N. “I’d never pick a mutt over you.”

“Tell that to the boyo that’s shoved me off ya and taken my place!”

“He’s just clingy.” Y/N made an ‘uh huh’ noise before standing up and leaving the two to cuddle. “Are you sulking now?”

“No,” Y/N lied, walking to the kitchen and watching them from behind the counter, his bottom lip and cheeks puffed out. John shook his head and pushed Alfie off of him, getting onto his feet and walking to Y/N, kissing him in the cheek.

“You’re not a very good liar,” John whispered. Y/N turned and wrapped his arms around John again, kissing his forehead and proceeding to bury his face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. “Will you help me finish the tarts?”

“‘Course I will, mo grá.”

[cowboydisaster]

Lobo

reupload; originally posted on 14 february, 2023

read part two here

pairing: werewolf!Arthur Morgan x reader

word count: 5.2k

summary: You're on the run, hiding from the law. One night, your dog runs into the woods and comes upon a poor creature stuck in a bear trap. This isn't just some normal wolf... His eyes are the color of the ocean and he seems to understand you. The wolf continues to visit you, shifting back and forward between man and beast. He offers you his name, and eventually his heart.

a/n: this was originally a submission for the rdr events valentines exchange! This was my first ever werewolf fic and I was hella intimidated by it, but it was SO fun. I'm definitely down to do a part two if that's something people want. Let me know! Important things to know about this fic because everyone writes werewolves differently: - A werewolf's eyes glow red when they have found their mate, and after they've found their mate, their eyes glow red during very emotional/vulnerable moments. - A mating bite is just a way for the bond to seal between the two. It can be given by one or both parties -Arthur is a fully normal human being, aside from the fact that he can shift to a wolf. -Werewolves can shift between human and wolf at any time in this fic, not just on a full moon - The full moon makes a werewolf more primal. i.e. wanting to run, wanting to stay shifted as a wolf. It also makes the wolves more drawn to their mates and more protective

also as a little warning I am not well versed in werewolf lore, so if anything in this fic is way far off I apologize.

fic is below the cutoff

Your stallion's hooves slosh in the mud as you canter, riding towards a little area near Valentine that you’re planning to camp at for the night. The moon is full tonight, resting high in the sky and casting the night in an eerie, pale glow with dark shifting shadows. For the last few weeks you've been on the run, sleeping under the stars or in abandoned houses and buildings as you drift further and further away from Saint Denis. It wasn't your fault really. The man you killed? Well he deserved it. But every action has consequences… You’ve been drifting since it happened, never staying in one place too long. Parts of you miss your old life, the structure of society and sleeping in a bed. But the freedom that your current life offers is unmatched.

You've made it all the way up to the cliffs now. It would probably be safe to stick around, surely you're far enough away by now. But an itch under your skin urges you to keep running, to get far away so that they will never find you. Pushing the doubts out of your mind, you whistle, and hear a bark in answer from your Australian Shepherd, Marley. He's running beside your black thoroughbred, Ares, just as eager as you to set up camp for the night. 

After some convincing that the law won't find you this far north, you slow Ares down to a trot, passing by a lightly wooded area along the train tracks. Beyond the trees is a small opening. It's big enough for you to comfortably set up a little camp, but wooded enough to protect you from the near constant drabble of rainfall, and more importantly any wandering eyes from the tracks. You deem the spot safe for the night, whistling for Marley to follow as you trot through the treeline.

It's been a tough few weeks. Your clothes have been growing a little looser around your frame, and your little stash of money from your father’s savings has depleted to nothing. You don't know how to hunt, you're from the city. With no means to get food, your options have depleted to two: steal or starve. There's already a bounty on your head and you don't plan on increasing it, but you know what they say about desperation. Twice now you've stolen saddlebags off of tethered horses in search of food or money. You've rationed your supplies enough to get you this far, but now? Well you're pretty well screwed. 

Hopping down from Ares with a pat of gratitude, you reach into one of the stolen saddlebags in search of something useful. Something soft touches your hand, and you pull out some clothes. There's two shirts and two pairs of jeans. With a sigh, you shove the clothes back into the bag. They're of no use. They're way too big for you, but maybe you can repurpose the cloth later. You step around Ares’ backside to reach into the other side of the bag. Luckily, you find two pieces of salted beef. 

“Well, we got dinner, boy.” You smile, tossing one up into the air and watching as Marley catches it in his mouth. 

You don't have a tent, never got one after escaping Saint Denis, and you don't have a bedroll either. So as per usual, you opt to find shelter under a large oak tree, laying on your saddle blanket and resting your head on your saddle in the dirt. It makes a decent pillow, and it provides Ares with some relief for the night. After finishing your dinner, you eye your boys. Ares is lying in the grassy patch ahead of you, enjoying the subtle rainfall after a long day’s run, and Marley curls up in the grass at your side. 

“Don't worry boys, we’ll find somewhere more permanent soon, alright?” You whisper to them, almost drifting to sleep. You try to stay awake to watch the night. The moon is so full, so bright, unlike any night you’ve seen before. It's equally beautiful and mysterious. The grass dances in the breeze, shining under the moon’s white light while being tapped by slow sprinkling rain. Your eyes slip shut… and Marley barks. 

You know Marley. He’s your best friend, and Marley only barks at danger. Immediately you sit up on the saddle blanket, gripping the handle of your knife out of instinct. 

“What is it boy?” You whisper, scanning the treeline to no avail. Ares has stood up, and is whinnnying, stomping his feet and tossing his head in trepidation. 

Every hair on the dog’s back is standing straight up, and he bares his teeth towards the eastern side of the forest with a low growl. Your brows knit together, as you see no lights or signs of anything. 

“Marley, what's the matter?” You coo, reaching out to calm the dog, but he's too quick. He barks, and takes off into the east side of the forest. 

“Shit, Marley!” You yell after the dog. 

With a sigh, you run over to Ares, not even bothering to put the saddle back on. You sit on him bareback, quickly urging the stallion into the forest after your dog. It's difficult to navigate the dark forest, but Ares needs no guidance as he weaves around trees and jumps over fallen logs after your dog. You have to hang on for dear life as he jumps a particularly large log, as it's much harder to sit without the aid of your saddle. Slowing Ares down to a slow trot, you stick two fingers on your lip and whistle as loud as you can. It's too dark to see anything, and the rain has picked up, soaking your hair and causing rivulets of water to drip into your eyes and drench your clothes. 

You hear his returning bark, and you spur Ares in the direction of the familiar sound. After cantering around a few more trees, you spot Marley. He’s cowering on the ground, shaking with his head on the ground in submission. At first you’re afraid he’s been hurt, and you jump down from your stallion to approach the dog. 

“Marley…?” You whisper, slowly approaching him. 

The breath leaves your lungs when you hear it; The loudest howl you have ever heard. It’s mangled and painful, and so, so close. Your heart beats rapidly, time slows, and you can feel the moment its eyes are on you.  Slowly, you turn around. 

In front of you is the largest wolf you have ever seen in your life. Well, you’ve never seen a wolf other than in the paper but this wolf- there's something different. It’s a male, surely the alpha of his pack, if he has one. He has a sandy blonde coat, broad head and shoulders, and even standing on all fours, the wolf is almost as tall as you. But the most stark detail is his eyes. They are bright, a green-blue mixture that can be compared to the blend of the tide and the sky. There’s something so human about his gaze that you’re almost knocked to the ground by its strength. The wolf’s eyes are locked onto your own, and it tries to step towards you, but stops suddenly and cries out in pain. Your eyebrows draw together, and you step around the right side of the massive wolf. His eyes stay on yours, and suddenly you feel no fear. It’s like you’re supposed to be here, you're supposed to find him. It causes your breath to hitch in your throat, and a dull pressure to buzz in your chest, but you ignore it, continuing your observation of the animal. 

“Oh, you poor thing.” You whisper under your breath upon the sight of his mangled, bloody back leg. It's caught in a particularly nasty bear trap, who knows how long he’s been stuck here. You eye the wolf carefully for a moment, and when you sense no aggression, you step forward. The trap is a pressure lock, and you can dismantle it with your bare hands. Determined, you wipe your hands on your jeans. 

“Alright, now I’m gonna set you free, but you can't eat me, okay?” 

You swear the wolf chortles at your comment, and you lean down in the mud, pressing down on the bear trap with all your might. It clicks a few times, meaning that it’s close to opening. You stop pushing the trap and gasp in shock when you feel the wolf press his nose into your waist, inhaling deeply as if he is savoring your scent. You stutter, and quickly continue pressing down on the trap until it fully snaps open. The wolf takes one full deep breath of your scent, and then throws his head up towards the full moon and howls. It's so loud that your ears almost hurt, but it's not nearly as strong as the pressure in your chest, the unfamiliar buzz that is threatening to rip you in two. You clutch at your rib, gasping in shock when the wolf brings his head back down to look into your eyes. The wolf’s blue irises have been replaced with two deep crimson circles that stare back at you. Your heart pounds in your chest, and you can hear it. But just as quickly as you found him, he is gone. He turned tail and ran, limping away on three legs. You’re left in shock, mouth agape, sitting against the wet forest floor.

— two weeks later —

You search through the bottom of the same leather bag that you’ve checked three times, foolishly hoping to find some food for you and Marley. You need to find something soon, or you’re going to have to venture into town, which may or may not end up with your neck in a noose. With a sigh, you toss the bag on the ground by your campfire. Tears threaten to fall as you pet your shepherd dog, apologizing for the lack of dinner. Ares is already laying in the grass, and you decide to hit the hay as well. Like every night, Marley curls up beside you while you try to fall asleep. His steady breathing, and eventually his snores almost lull you to sleep, but you’ve been having trouble sleeping. For the past two weeks all you’ve been able to think about is him. You know what he is now, you remember the stories that your Pa used to tell you. The legends of beasts in the west, far more dangerous than the outlaws inhabiting it. Well, they weren’t just stories. You think of him every night, wondering why he ran, why he’s this far east in the first place. Tonight is no different, in fact the ache in your ribcage is especially strong tonight. You’ve felt it ever since that night. 

Eventually, you’re able to quiet your mind, blinking foggily as sleep overtakes your senses. Just as your eyes begin to flutter shut, two blue circles blink from behind the treeline, and then you fall asleep. 

— the next day —

The evening sun wakes you up, surprisingly warm despite the cold day. The light filters through the trees, casting your face in a yellow glow. You'd slept almost the entire day, but you needed it. You haven't been sleeping well, too busy thinking of the wolf. You yawn, sitting up and stretching your arms before checking for your boys. Marley is chewing on a stick beside the charcoal left over from the campfire, and Ares has his head to the ground, grazing on some fresh grass. As you go to stand up, something fiery red catches your eyes and you snap your neck in its direction. About five feet away from your makeshift bedroll is a fox. It's been killed, perfectly hunted in such a manner that the pelt is in perfect condition. With your brows drawn together, you lean over and pick up the fox. Two neat, large canine teeth marks have punctured the animal's neck. 

This was him. 

You're overcome with relief at the fact that he's okay. After he'd run off you weren't sure where he went, or if he had a pack, and someone to fix his wound. You've been thinking about the man for weeks, wondering what he looks like, sounds and acts like, what his name is. Quickly you pull out your hunting knife, taking your time to skin the animal neatly. Every cut is articulate, something you learned from working for the trapper in Saint Denis. You know how to clean, cut and cook an animal, just not how to actually hunt one. You rest the red pelt fur down against the dirt to dry, and then get to work on your fire. Marley brings you back enough twigs and sticks to get a fire going, and before long you're placing nice cuts of meat over the fire, cooking a decent meal for the first time in a while. Marley seems grateful as well, coming over to the campfire to check on the food with his mouth watering. 

It's a good breakfast, well dinner. You don't have much to season the meat with, but a few pieces of oregano manage just fine. You and Marley share the fox, saving the rest of it for the following days. With the day pretty much over before you've even started it, you pull out your journal. 

Ever since that night in the woods, I feel this ache. It's like a rope. I don't understand it much, but… it's pulling me to him. I know it is. He left me a fox- first good meal we've had in a day. That's gotta mean something, right? 

Your fountain pen stops on the paper, and some ink pools out of it, leaving an ink blot. Your eyes widen at the sound of a twig snapping, and the feeling in your ribs intensifies. You carefully close the leather journal, setting it down on the ground before pulling your knees up to your chin and smiling. 

"Come out. I know you're here." You call out boldly, standing up from the ground and facing the forest in the direction of the snap. You can feel eyes on you, but you can't pinpoint his exact location. Behind you, Ares begins to spook, pawing at the ground and snorting in irritation. Marley growls, and you follow his gaze until you see the wolf. 

He's even more beautiful in the daylight. Now you can really see the contrasts in his coat color, like brindle between tan and brown. His eyes are just as striking without the added glow from the moon, and now they shine bright blue. He steps out from the forest slowly, head down to placate you. He steps right up to you, almost eye to eye. The buzzing in your chest is so strong, like the rope is pulled so tight that it's on the verge of snapping. 

"You ain't no regular wolf… I've heard the legends, but I didn't think there would be any of you this far east…" 

The wolf's eyes close and he nudges his head into your side, one again inhaling your scent. You're not sure why he does it, but you don't mind. Hesitantly, you bring your hand up to the wide spot between his ears. You expected his fur to be coarse, but you're wrong. It's soft, like thick layers of silk. Your hand glides over his head, petting his ears while he leans further into you. 

"Thank you for the fox." You whisper, smiling sheepishly at the familiar stranger. 

Slowly, he turns around, going towards where your saddle blanket is laid out on the ground. He gently takes the serape blanket in his maw, backing up and dragging it with him until he's a bit away from you, hidden in the shadows of some trees. You watch on, confused, turning around a few times to coo to your animals. You can hear some growling, some uncomfortable joint cracking, and then to your surprise, the exasperated groan of a man. Your eyebrows dart up in surprise, and your jaw drops when he steps out of the shadows. 

He's the most attractive man you've ever seen. His wolf form is a perfect match to his human form, he has tanned, sun-kissed skin, peppered with freckles. He's covering the lower half of his naked body with the blanket, but it doesn't hide his strong, chiseled chest. Clearly he takes care of himself. His build is muscular and broad. His hair is the same sandy blonde as his wolf's coat, and those eyes, they're just as beautiful now as they are as a wolf's. You don't realize that you're staring until he talks.

"You ain't afraid of me?" He questions, almost unbelieving that you haven't run away yet. His brows knit together just enough for a petite line to make itself evident on his forehead. 

"No… you've been nothing but kind and you've helped me. Hell, you coulda ate me." You chuckle. 

At the mention of that night, you remember the trap and his injury.

"How's your leg?" You ask. Your eyes move down his right calf and you see a freshly pink, rough scar marking the wound where only two weeks ago he was torn into. No human could ever heal that fast, it must be a werewolf thing. 

"S'healed. Got fixed up in no time." He says, drawl low and deep. He moves over towards the fire and sits on the ground, you follow. 

"What are you doin' out here anyway? Ain't safe, 'specially not by yourself." He inquires, making sure he's covered with the blanket as he looks to you for an answer. 

You're not sure how you know, but you know that you can tell this man the truth. And yet you find yourself hesitating, so instead you rebuttal his question. 

"I could ask you the same, mister." You quirk, smiling a bit as Marley trots over to sit by you.

"Well what's your name, then? Finally get to speak to ya, I should know your name." You ask. 

You're shocked that somehow your manners slipped and you forgot to introduce yourself, but the introduction feels… odd. It's like you've known him for years. You tell him your name, to which he smiles, nodding his head like he approves, or is proud of it. 

"My name's Arthur Morgan." He chortles. As if the situation isn't indecent enough, you just remember that you have an extra pair of larger clothes from the stolen bag that might fit Arthur perfectly. 

"Oh, I have some clothes that might fit you. Don't even bother askin' how I came about these but- should be clean and hopefully your size." You say, standing up and grabbing the stolen saddlebag of clothes. Your boots squish in the wet grass as you bring the bag over to Arthur. 

He takes the bag, and with no shame, drops the blanket to the ground. 

Oh. 

So apparently the part of his body that was earlier covered by the blanket was the best part. You can't help it, and he doesn't mind. You watch as he grabs clothes from the bag. There's a trail of soft brown hair that trickles from his chest hair and dips down to the base of his shaft. You gulp, closing your eyes and forcing yourself to look away from the absolute masterpiece that rests between his legs. 

When Arthur is decent, you turn around, cheeks still flushed bright pink from shock and embarrassment. He hands the saddle bag out to you, which you take and toss back towards your saddle on the ground. Both of you glance to the west, realizing that the sun is setting and it will be dark soon.

"I better get goin'. It'll be dark soon…" Arthur whispers, as if there's something he wants to do or say but can't bring himself to. His eyes look to the ground, and he tips his head to you before turning around. 

To his surprise, you grab his wrist. The tether between you two grows so strong that it hurts. 

"Arthur, please don't go. Why don't you stay the night? Head back to wherever it is you go to in the morning." You practically whimper. 

He doesn't even have to think, of course he'll stay, for you he will.

— four hours later —

The night is cold, very cold. The combined effect of your lack of coat and the slowly approaching winter doesn't help. You're curled into the tightest ball you can manage, hugging your knees and shivering. It's miserable, the type of cold that seeps into your bones. Arthur had shifted before laying down for the night, and you can hear his steady breathing behind you. He hasn't slept all night. You've drifted in and out of sleep, but he has stayed awake all night, watching you, protecting you, checking the perimeter a few times. 

As soon as you begin to shiver, Arthur stands up. He circles you a few times, whining as if he is debating with himself over something. But as you whimper, miserable from the night's cruel nature, Arthur trots over. He lays at your back, and you practically moan at the relief. Arthur is so warm. You turn around, curling yourself into him. His fur is like the softest blanket you've ever felt, and his body radiates heat. It's cathartic. 

"Why are you helpin' me? Bein' so kind?" You whisper, nuzzling your nose into his warm fur.

Arthur presses his wet nose into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent once again. Just like the first night you met him, the color in his eyes bleeds to red. It's beautiful, and you look into them, curious about the change of color. You can feel that tug in your chest again, it's strong tonight, but you ignore it, pressing yourself into his frame until blissful sleep finally overcomes you. 

When you wake up he's gone. 

— twelve days later —

Arthur… I saw him up on the ridge above my camp today. I don't know if he runs in a pack, or why in the hell he's so far east, but… he keeps an eye on me. I swear I see those green eyes just beyond the treeline when I fall asleep. I can feel his presence when he's nearby, like something is pulling me to him. I have this drive to be around him in a way that I can't explain, like I need him… but I haven't seen him since that cold night. 

You steady your hand, focusing on the old oak tree ahead of you. As you exhale, you release the knife, smiling as it lands directly into the thick trunk of the oak tree. 

You trod over to the tree, bending down to pick up the few knives that you've lodged into the tree, and the two that landed on the ground. Marley barks excitedly, and you turn around to find the source. 

Arthur…

He steps out of the woods slowly, head held down as he approaches you in his wolf form. He's breathing heavily, as if he was running for a while to get here.  

"Been wonderin' why you haven't come to see me. Had me worried some hunter had you mounted on their wall." You joke, reaching out to pet Arthur's head. His eyes slip shut, and he pushes his nose into you, almost roughly, as if he needs this like a starved man. He once again inhales your scent deeply.

It's then that you notice something in his maw. Your eyebrows knit together as you hold out your hand. He opens his mouth, dropping a rolled up piece of paper and a wooden wolf into your hand. You're confused as to why he didn't just tell you whatever it is the note says, but you don't have time to ask as he turns tail and runs away, eyes red. 

"Arthur, don't go!" You cry out to no avail. 

The buzz in your chest grows as he runs and you ignore the ache, looking down to the items in your hands. The little wooden wolf is beautiful. It's been hand carved from a piece of oak and a knife. Tears well in your eyes as the ache in your chest grows, and you open the note. 

I'm sorry. I can't stay around you. It's hard to explain, but it's better if I leave you be. That ache in your chest, like something pulling you? I feel it too, and more than anything, I wanna be with you, but it's not fair for me to do that to you, darlin. ‐ Arthur. 

Rivulets of tears run down your cheeks as you sit on the ground, hugging your knees. You've been doing research, stopping into libraries to read books on legends of western wolves and lycanthropes. You've learned how they used to run in large packs, how they were hunted almost to extinction. But most importantly, you learned about their mates. 

They can't choose their mates, instead they are pulled together by the moon. You think over the feeling in your chest, how many times you've written about the invisible tether that  pulls the two of you to each other.

Is Arthur your mate…?

And if he is, why is he leaving you?

— two weeks later — 

The moon is full tonight, and all you can think of is Arthur. You know he'll be out running tonight, and you hope that he comes by. You haven't seen him in weeks, and it's only made your ache to be around him stronger. Maybe the moon will alter his control, drive him to come see you. You’ve been stopping in at libraries in town, sneaking just enough to hide your face from the passerbys. Every book on lycanthropes that you've been able to find has been thoroughly analyzed. You know why he’s hiding. And dammit, if he would just come back you could convince him to stay. You rest a stray leaf in between the pages of your book to mark your page before setting it down on the ground. Marley trots over and you chuckle as he lays down on your bedroll. 

It's late, past midnight as you stand up and start to dress down for the night. You’re not worried about wandering eyes, it's dark, and anyone who steps foot in your camp to look will be met with a bullet. You strip your jeans and shirt, standing bare in the grassy opening. You run your fingers through your hair, before reaching onto the ground for a clean shirt. Just as you go to grab the cloth, you hear it. A low, deep, growl resonates from the forest, it’s him. Through the opening in the trees you can see glowing red eyes, and relief washes over you. His crimson orbs are locked into the little wooden wolf that is tied around your neck. 

“I know why you left, Arthur, why you think it would be best for me.” You whisper, extending your hand out as Arthur steps out from the woods slowly. His paws are massive, expertly stepping over the terrain as he inches forward. 

“I've been reading and learning about wolves… I'm your mate, aren't I?” You say, barely above a whisper. Arthur leans in and licks your collarbone lightly. His eyes are so beautiful, deep red like roses. 

“I feel it all the time. It’s like a tether, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

You sigh as Arthur just stands there, listening to what you’re saying. 

“Be great if I could hear what you’re thinkin’.” You bite a little, irritated that you are always talking but can never hear him. 

You watch as he shifts. It's a fluid movement, much more graceful than you would have expected, and in just a few moments he is standing in front of you. His eyes have returned to their soft blue, and you lean in to press your hand against his cheek. Both of you are completely bare before the other, and yet neither of you are uncomfortable. He looks to you with a question.  

“You would tie yourself, you would mate to a stranger?” He asks, eyes glowing red for just a moment on the latter half of the sentence. You chuckle at his misconception. Arthur gently takes your wrist in his hand, bringing it up to his lips and kissing the tender skin on the inside of your wrist. He doesn’t miss the way your breath hitches in your throat. 

“Arthur, you’re not a stranger,” you chuckle, “In this time I’ve known you, you've shown me your character time and time again. I was hungry, cold, alone, and now I’m not.”

You both feel a buzz of electricity run through you, and Arthur groans deeply as he wraps his hands around your soft waist.

“Arthur, I- I need something, but I don’t know what it is. Please-” You moan against him, the tether clouding your mind. He presses his lips to your forehead, gently kissing down your temples. 

“I know what you’re feelin’ and I can make it better, but darlin’ you know how this works, right?” He asks, squeezing your hips a little. Something comes over you and you can't feel anything but him, you need him. 

“I want to be yours, Arthur.” You mewl, pressing your nose into his chest. Arthur growls so deep, it breaks you out of your trance for a moment. His blue eyes lock onto yours. 

“You look at me. Don’t let the bond fog your head, you want this?” He asks, gripping you tightly. 

“Yes.” You whisper with more clarity than you’ve ever felt. For the first time in your life, you feel at home. This is where you should be, what you are meant for. 

He’s yours

Arthur’s eyes remain locked onto yours as he lifts your wrist up to his lips. Your breath quickens in anticipation as he gently bites down on the side of your wrist. 

It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Suddenly you are whole. You are part of something bigger, you are with him. His other half. Your souls are permanently bonded and you can feel him all around you. You gasp at the raw emotion of it all. The tether between you and him pulls even tighter for a moment before it snaps and releases. There is no need for it anymore, as you are one. Tears fall down your cheeks as you lean up to kiss Arthur. Everything is right when your lips crash together. He moves against you as emotions sweep through you like a wave, crashing and swirling together.

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[poledancingdinos]

Hostile Territory - Chapter 18

Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC (Leah Coleman)

Word count: 3.1K

Warnings: grief, past loss

Catch up: Series Masterlist

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Masterlist

Day 202

Leah’s first stop after getting off the plane was her childhood home. Her second stop was the cemetery.

She walked along the path she had come to know by heart. The land was not very big and was surrounded by a line of trees to shield it from the nearby road. She came to a stop in front of the fourth headstone of the thirteenth row on the left.

“Hey Dad.” Leah set her bag down on the grass, kneeling beside it. “I’m sorry it’s been so long since my last visit. I’ve been moving around for the better part of the last three years and I haven’t had many opportunities to come home.”

Leah pulled a packet of wipes out of her backpack and began cleaning her father’s headstone. The lawn around it was well maintained by Caleb but the recent weather had left splatterings of mud on the smooth surface. Once she finished her task, she sat down facing the inscription, lifting her knees to her chest.

Gage ColemanDearly Loved,Sadly Missed,Forever In Our Hearts

She and Caleb had agonized over what to write. The man at the funeral home had shown them a bunch of examples for “loving father” and “taken too soon” but none of them had felt right.

A dozen men whose lives he had saved overseas had shown up to his funeral. There were two dozen more from the VA, the dog shelter, his work and Caleb’s year in school.

Leah and Caleb may have been his only living relatives, but they hadn’t been his only family.

“I’ve been so lost since you’ve been gone, Dad. It’s been so hard finding my place.” Leah buried her face in her hands, choking on a sob. “All I ever wanted when I was younger was to be like you. It hurt so much knowing you never wanted this life for me.”

Leah took a moment to brush her tears away with the sleeve of her hoodie, fixing her gaze on her father’s name.

“But I think I get it now—why you didn’t want me to follow in your footsteps. It’s not easy. Actually, it’s been really fucking hard, but I just know that this is what I’m supposed to be. I hope you’re not too mad.”

Leah didn’t want to spend her entire visit with her father in a blubbering mess so she blew her nose on a tissue from her bag and took a few calming breaths.

“I, uh… I met this guy. He’s more than just some guy, really, he’s my captain. I know, I know, it’s a recipe for disaster. I think if you met him he’d change your mind though.” Smiling to herself, Leah remembered how Sy had said he and her father would probably get along. She was sure her father would agree.

“I mean, Aika—she’s a german shepherd we rescued—Aika loves him and you always said dogs were the best at judging character. I think I might be in love with him and I… I’m so scared, Dad. I’m scared of what might happen if I do this but I’m also scared that if I don’t take this chance, I’ll regret it forever.”

After a few terrible attempts at dating after high school, Leah had somewhat given up on the idea of finding someone to share her life with. She was so independent and bullheaded that she didn’t think she would ever manage to make a relationship work. Then there was the whole fear that a guy would never be satisfied with her and would always inevitably cheat on her as had happened before.

“Were you happy, Dad? After mom left and you were all alone with us, were you happy? Maybe I was just a clueless kid and you were this big ladiesʼ man but based on the lack of female presence at your funeral, I don’t think that was the case. Sometimes I wonder if you were lonely without a girlfriend. I hope you didn’t feel like that was a sacrifice you had to make for us but if it was then… Thank you. Thank you for always putting us first. Thank you for being such an amazing dad.”

An alarm on Leah’s phone informed her that it was time to head back to the house. Caleb was going to be home for dinner and she wanted to have food ready and waiting on the table so that they didn’t have to worry about anything but catching up and enjoying their time together.

Leah stood, packing up her trash and getting the dirt and grass on her jeans.

“I love you, Dad.”

Sy’s welcome dinner with his family was as uneventful as ever. He hadn’t expected some big shindig but he had pictured a tad more enthusiasm. Never had he felt so much like a stranger in his own home as he did at that moment.

His nieces and nephews were barely old enough to remember him since the last time he’d visited. It was also a school night so his sisters had taken the kids home right after dessert. His brothers had stayed a while longer but once the youngsters had fallen asleep, they and their wives had also gone home to put them down in their own beds.

After helping them carry the kids to the car, Sy spent another few minutes talking to the twins before retreating to the porch. His brothers had only been twelve when he left and now they were both fathers. He’d spent more than half their lives away from them.

The screen door slamming alerted Sy to his mother’s presence, drawing him out of his thoughts. She dropped down by his side on the porch swing, not saying a word for a long time.

“I’m so sorry, honey.”

Sy was taken aback, turning to face his mother.

“For what?”

Sy racked his brain, looking for a reason as to why his mother would want to apologize but he came up blank. When she looked up, her eyes were red and brimmed with tears. A million different thoughts slammed into him, filling him with dread but none of them had prepared him for what she eventually said.

“For not helpin’ ya more when you were young.”

He knew instantly what she was referring to but he’d never expected her to mention his childhood, much less apologize for any of it. In fact, he didn’t think his mother had anything to apologize for but by the looks of things, the guilt had been eating away at her for quite some time.

“Mama, ya had two other boys who needed ya more than I did.”

She shook her head, wrapping her shawl tighter around her shoulders.

“No,” she said adamantly. “Ya needed me just as much as they did but I didn’t see it because ya always acted so strong. I wasn’t the mother ya needed me to be. I wasn’t there for you.” The sobs she’d been trying to suppress finally broke free, prompting her to lift a hand to her mouth. Sy watched, feeling utterly powerless as the women who’d raised him fell to pieces right in front of his eyes. “I didn’t see it and maybe if I had and I’d been a better mother then then ya would never have enlisted. You would be safe here with your family instead of out there, riskin’ your life and worryin’ me sick every second of every day.”

Hearing those words, Sy pulled his mother into his arms, her tears soaking his shirt as he held her. He hated hearing that she blamed herself for his shortcomings. Knowing that his parents had their reservations about his career and hearing that his choices actively caused them pain were two very different things.

“None of this is your fault, Mama. Ya can’t know that things woulda been any different.”

“Yes, I can.” She pulled away enough to hold his face with both hands. “You are so smart, baby. Ya coulda done anythin’ ya wanted, ya just needed a little more help in school than the others. Maybe if we’d caught on while you were still young we coulda found a way to make things work and ya wouldn’t have fallen so far behind.”

Sy closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against his mother’s.

“Mama, I never regretted joinin’ up. I love you and I know me being away is hard for ya—it’s hard for me too.” He pulled back to lock eyes with his mama’s. “But I never regretted it.”

“But maybe ya wouldn’t have felt like the army was your only choice. Maybe ya coulda gone to college right after high school, met a nice girl and been around long enough to give me a few grandbabies.”

Sy couldn’t help but huff at that last comment. Even when she was breaking down she was your typical southern mother—so full of love that she wanted as many grandkids as possible to share it with.

“Ya already have six grandbabies, Ma,” he admonished.

“That’s true, but I wouldn’t mind havin’ a mini you runnin’ around.” She pulled him down to kiss his cheek then wrapped both hands around his biceps to rest her head on his shoulder.

Sy kissed the top of her head in return, smelling the familiar fruity scent of her shampoo. She’d been using the same brand for as long as he could remember. In fact, when he was a teenager he’d asked his father to buy a different kind because he didn’t want to smell like a girl.

It was strange to think there was a time where his biggest concern was what he smelled like. Or that there was a time where his hair was long enough to warrant using shampoo instead of bar soap. He’d given up almost everything that tied him to a life outside the army but maybe it was time to make a few exceptions.

“I uh… I don’t know that babies will be involved, but there is this one girl that caught my eye.”

His mother immediately perked up, as he knew she would. 

“Oh?” she wiped her cheeks. “And what’s her story?”

“Her name is Leah and she… Well she’s one of my soldiers. She was assigned to my unit a few months ago.”

“Wow. She must be a real tough girl to make it into the special forces.”

Sy nodded. “But she’s got a good heart too. She’s an artist, she loves dogs and she’s real close with her brother ‘cause they’re each other’s only family.”

“Ya sound real smitten,” she teased, nudging his side.

“I guess I am.” Sy managed a half smile as he turned his gaze downward. “I just wish I’d had more time with her before she got on her flight to Denver but maybe it was better this way. If we got together while she’s still my subordinate and someone on base found out it could ruin both of our careers.”

“If she’s the one for you, ya can’t let her go. Who knows when you’ll have another chance like this. I think you should go after her.”

Looking out over the yard of his childhood home, Sy considered his mother’s suggestion. It had always been a little wild and unkept when he was young. His little brothers’ toys had always been strewn about, his own bike laying amongst them more often than not.

Now, however, the lawn was neatly trimmed. His mother had planted lush flower beds that were in full bloom and pruned daily. Even the house itself was unrecognizable after a few necessary renovations. At least the ceiling in his old bedroom no longer leaked when it rained.

He wanted that for himself. A place to call his own. Somewhere to return to. A house that would change over time and age with his family. He wanted a home. Hopefully one with Leah in it.

He shook himself out of his reverie. “Mama, I haven’t been home in almost two years. I can’t run off after less than twenty-four hours.”

“Nathan, sweetie, if you feel this strongly then there’s nowhere else I want you to be than with her. I want to see you happy.”

She stood from the porch swing, tapping him twice on the knee.

“Take the night and sleep on it, but I have a feeling your heart already knows what it wants.”

Sy nodded in acceptance, standing to kiss his mother on the cheek and pull her into another embrace.

“I want you to know, baby, that I am proud of the man ya grew up to be. It scares me to death that I might lose ya but that don’t mean I’m not as proud as can be that you’re my son.”

With that, she said goodnight before heading inside.

His mother was right, Sy didn’t need to think another second whether or not he wanted to go after Leah. He wanted to jump in his truck and head out on the road but he also had no idea where to go.

Sy pulled his cell out of his pocket, tapping the screen and bringing the device to life. It was late, nearly midnight, but with any luck the man he needed to reach would see his message somewhere between when he stumbled out of the bar and when climbed into bed with whatever man or woman would be warming his bed that night.

To Sy’s surprise, his phone lit up with an incoming call as soon as the message had been delivered.

There was noise in the background as he answered, some classic rock song Sy couldn’t quite hear clearly enough to recognize it.

“Why do you need Coleman’s info at this time of night?” BJ was shouting over the music but soon the sound faded, letting Sy know that he had walked out of the bar to take the call.

“Whatever business I have with Coleman is between us. Do you have her address or not?”

“Really? You ask me for a favor and you’re gonna give me that bullshit?”

Sy knew it wasn’t fair of him. Especially since BJ had trusted him enough to confess his own biggest secret. He was the only person that knew BJ was bi. They’d lost a man a few years back and it had sent BJ into a spiral. That was when he’d confessed that the two of them had grown to be more than teammates.

If anyone was going to understand how he felt about Leah, it was BJ.

“I need to see her. I need to see if she feels the same about me as I feel about her.”

“And how exactly do you feel about her?”

The Captain sighed, sinking down into the porch swing. “You really gonna make me say it?”

“Damn straight I am.”

He scrubbed a hand over his beard which was overdue for a good trim.

“I need to know if… If she’s willin' to give us a shot. If she can’t stop thinkin’ about me the same way I can’t stop thinkin' about her.”

Sy held his breath as he waited for a response. A moment passed. Then another.

“I’ll text you her info when I get home. It’s on a scrap of paper in my pack.”

With a relieved exhale, Sy said a silent prayer to whatever god was listening.

“That’s it? No follow up questions? No snarky comments?”

“Na, I’m just glad you finally got your head outta your ass. Your moping around was getting real fucking old.”

“I really owe you for this BJ.”

“Make me the best man at your wedding and we’ll call it even.”

An image of Leah in a white gown walking down the aisle towards Sy suddenly flashed through his mind and he groaned inwardly. Fuck. He really liked that image.

“She can make you her maid of honor. I’m sure you’d look great in a fluffy pink dress.”

“Don’t think I won’t do it, Sy. I fucking love that girl, I’d do it if she asked.”

A door slammed closed somewhere on the other end of the line, a muffled male voice following shortly after. “Babe, why’d you disappear on me? I turned around and you were gone.”

“Sorry, it’s my captain. Give me a sec. Sy, I gotta—”

“All good man. Thank you.”

“Keep me posted on how it goes.”

With a brief goodbye, they hung up and Sy made his way back upstairs. He quickly used the washroom and slid between the sheets of the queen bed his parents had purchased specifically for him.

The other two bedrooms had been turned into a craft room and a proper guestroom. His, however, had been saved for these rare moments when he made it home. He’d been the only one to have his own room growing up. The girls had shared one and the twins shared the other. It must have been the only blessing of being the middle child.

They’d changed it, of course, clearing out any clutter and moving it to the attic in case Sy ever wanted to go through it all. His first time back home following his enlistment, he’d had to squeeze his newly acquired muscle into his old twin bed. His parents had taken pity on him, investing in a bigger bed despite knowing it would barely get used. They’d also elected not to remove the posters of half naked women he’d put up when he was fourteen.

Sarah Michelle Gellar had been his number one crush at the time. It seemed his tastes hadn’t changed much—strong, sassy, independent.

His phone buzzed on the nightstand and he was happy to see an address from BJ. Sy immediately booked a flight to Denver for the next morning. He was able to find a last minute car rental as well but decided to wait before booking a hotel.

Maybe it was presumptuous of him but he hoped he’d be able to stay with Leah even if it was on her couch. He still checked availability at a few local motels then set an alarm early enough to give him time to pack some clothes and get his duffle ready. He was not going to risk missing his flight on the off chance that his body managed to sleep past sunrise the next morning. That was, if his impatient ass managed to sleep at all.

Chapter 19

[s0lam33y]

Chapter 1: What are the Possibilities?

Summary: It’s your first day at Northwestern, despite the rocky morning, You and your roommate [riri] are off to a good start and and even better ending.

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Chapter 1: What are the Possibilities?

5:45 AM

You’ve never truly been a morning person. You wish you were but there’s nothing great about them. The eye crust, the bonnet on the floor, the lopsided hair, the drool on your pillow, and the alarm blaring in your ear. But today is different, you went to bed early last night after celebrating with Riri.

She’s lived with you for the past three months but she nearly feels like family to you probably because you’ve known each other since the last two years of medical school. She reminds you of a sister you never had growing up, always reminding you to study and bugging the shit out of you simultaneously.

Celebrating, meaning drinking beers and talking shit about your old medical school professors.

You feel a tug on your shirt as you turn around.

“Jesus, you look fucking rough.” Riri grins and you toss the pillow below your head at her. She stands to the side and stares back at you, a silk durag wrapped around her braids and her body drowning in a black hoodie to match.

“We got work in an hour, so get yo ass up.” She says again. You see the coffee cup in her hands and imagine having your own.

“Breakfast is ready, I gotta go take Roscoe the third out for a walk.” She reminds you. Her dog, she’s had the German Shepherd for a minute as far as you know and you can tell she cares but you don’t let it on your bed at all, let alone your room. You hear it’s paws against the hardwood floor and it’s heavy breathing as it enters your room.

“Riri, I don’t want it in my room.” You groan, shutting your eyes.

“Aight, my bad, Roscoe the Thir-“

“Do you have to call it that everytime?”

“First of all, Roscoe is a he…And that’s HIS name, get the hell up Y/N, I ain’t tryna be late.” She sasses before walking out. You watch the dog tilt it’s head before joining her out of your room.

You don’t bother making your bed as you get out of it. Your room is still pretty empty, just your bed on the side of it and boxes everywhere. You move one out of the way as you walk down the hallway and towards the kitchen.

You smell bacon, and something sweet like waffles or pancakes. When you make it downstairs, your plate is set on the counter and Riri’s is already in the sink.

She’s always been a good cook and other than the dog, you’ve gotten the perfect roommate. You’re sure she’s out walking Roscoe so you don’t look for her.

You scroll through your phone as you eat.

You reply to texts from your mother who’s wishing you good luck on your first day, and a couple friends from medical school.

You hear Riri’s voice before the door opens.

“Sharon, You’ll be aight, highschool is fun. I had fun-….yes the basketball team was fun, try out, you got the moves for it.” She says, entering the space. You’ve never seen her truly have a soft spot for anyone but her sister or mother , her voice is always softer, more caring.

Roscoe is out and he sits next to you as you hold the bacon to your mouth. You don’t even look at him and you look at Riri instead who ends her phone call with a bye and a low ‘love you.’

“You played ball?” You question as she approaches you, kneeling to removing the leash off of her dog.

“Yeah, for five years in highschool and for two years in college, point guard.” She says while standing across from you, still scrolling through her phone.

“Mhm, why’d you quit?”

“I picked medicine, after my dad died, I wanted to save lives so I dropped ball.” She says casually. You suddenly feel the greasy bacon slide down your throat. She looks up at you when the silence becomes deafening.

“Don’t make it a thing, Y/N, I ain’t mean it for no pity, I’m not offended, and if you thinking about apologizing, don’t. It’s the truth, I saw death and I wanted to learn how to prevent it.” She elaborates. You’ve known her for three years and had no idea she even lost a parent. You wouldn’t know unless she said something.

You hear a high-pitched whine and stare at big wide eyes.

“Boy, go sit, I ain’t giving you this bacon.” You murmur, watching the dog obey and sit eagerly. He actually listened. You cut a small piece off and chuck it into his mouth.

“Y/N! He can’t be eating that!”

…

6:20 AM

You and Riri have been assigned lockers right next to each other and you can’t wait to see your lab coats. The hospital is fucking huge and you can’t wait to get a full your from your attending. Riri grabs the baby blue scrubs in front of her and strips immediately.

“You already changing?” You question.

“Y/N, we gotta be ready, you should change too.”’ She advises. You choose to follow it, changing as well. When you’re both done, you run your finger over the embroidery of your name stitched to your white lab coat.

Most hospitals don’t do this for interns but luckily for you, Northwestern does. Riri closes her locker, pulling her box braids into a bun above her head.

“I guess we wait here.” She shrugs. You sit with her as other interns fill the room. Some are from

Prestigious medical schools, other from ones you’ve never heard of a day in your life. You and Riri remain close, listening to some conversation and tuning out others.

Everyone goes silent and you hear a sharp accented voice speak.

“I’m here to get my interns for the day, I need you to move fast, move slow and you will be left behind. Speak while I’m speaking and you can go home, try again another day. If you think you know something, no you don’t. Ask me a question after this week, everyone got it?” She asks. You can’t tell where she’s from but you can hear that she’s African. You can’t see her due to the sea of interns in front of you.

“When I call your names if you miss it, I will not be repeating myself…Adrien Johnson, Kiara Brooks, George Wilson, Liam Rodriguez, Sophia Porter, Y/N, L/N and Rianna Williams.” She says clearly. You and Riri squeeze your way through the crowd and finally see dark blue scrubs.

Shuri Udaku in the fucking flesh. You’ve read so many articles around her. She’s done so much, completely changed hospitals and medical care.

She’s pretty. Real Pretty. If you didn’t know any better you’d think she’s modeling those navy scrubs. Her name is etched on the lab coat.

‘Shuri Aja-Adanna Udaku.’

Tattoos cover her fingers and your sure they’re up her arm but they’re cut off by the scrubs. Her hair is shaved in an undercut and coils cover her forehead. Her hard eyes stare at yours.

“Staring problem?” She questions and Riri locks eyes with you, waiting for you to answer.

“I-“

“Don’t care, let’s go.” She interrupts.

She gives you all a quick tour of the hospital. You’ve never written so quickly before. She’s quick, stern and she’s assigned you all numbers since she doesn’t know your names.

Riri’s four and you’re two.

You, Dr. Udaku , Riri and the rest of the interns are all in the rather large elevator as she’s about to show you all the trauma bay. You’re sure that Riri’s excited and by the way she’s bouncing on her feet, she looks like a kid on Christmas.

One of the interns, who’s name you haven’t memorized yet speaks.

“Dr. Udaku, I love your work, I’ve seen so many article-“ He begins as her eyes cut over to his.

“I don’t care, I get my ass kissed everyday, I don’t care how many articles you’ve seen, I want to find out if you can do what I’ve done. If any of you have comments on my work, don’t mention it…It won’t get you further.” She says and coincidentally the elevator dings. She walks around the hospital like she owns it, and the surgeons around her know she owns the floor too. She ignores most greetings except for one.

A woman that’s around her height with light skin and long black hair that’s pulled back into a ponytail. Her tattoos are much more colorful that her counterpart, covering her neck and almost all of her arms.

“Wassup, A.J.” She smiles, smacking Dr. Udaku’s arm. She doesn’t have her lab coat on so all you see is her I.D and the first thing you notice is how pretty she looks in her photo. You’ve never seen anyone so photogenic.

Her name reads, Vivian Vision. Trauma Department.

“Hello… I’m working.” Dr. Udaku replies.

“I bet she’s scaring all of you, you’ll be fine, good luck on your first day.” She smiles warmly before a patient is rolled right next to all of you. She immediately begins to her to work, asking for stats and her voice fades as she follows the patients.

All of you watch in awe at the way she went from a simple conversation to beginning to save a life.

“The trauma bay can be very active especially in the mornings and at nights.” Shuri picks her lesson back up.

“That shit was so fuckin’ cool.” Riri sighs.

Yes it fucking was.

…

7: 49 AM

For your first day, you all get to watch a surgery with Dr. Udaku. She’s instructed You all to sit in the front, however she’s sitting right behind you. You see her in the reflection of the glass in front of you. Her legs are crossed, her chin resting in her hand and posture straight.

You force your eyes back on the surgery as she leans forward, placing her elbows on her knees. You can feel her eyes on you.

“Two.” She speaks as all the interns turn their head.

“Yes?” You respond. Riri sits next to you, her eyes glued to the surgery and doing her best not to pay attention to the conversation next to her.

“What’s this procedure called?” She asks. You had no idea what it was, she did it on purpose and you realized it now. But you can figure this out.

It’s Orthopedic. There’s a an incision over the thigh so that rules out anything in any other areas. It’s not a double hip replacement as there’s only one metal stem you notice the metal socket as well. You stare at instrument set, all of those are instruments for some kind of hip surgery.

“A total hip replacement.” You state.

“Yes it is, who’s the doctor?” She asks. She showed you all the board almost an hour again and you barely remember it.

She takes your silence as an incorrect answer.

“Anyone want to answer that?” Everyone is silent. You do your best to rack an image of the surgeon in your brain before Riri cuts in.

“Dr. Wyatt Wheatley.” Riri answers.

“Correct, I suggest you all pay attention in the near future, Dr. L/N And Dr. Williams, you will be on my first case next week.” She replies. You smile faintly and when you look into the glass, her eyes are trained on you.

Riri nudges you and whisper-yells.

“We in this shit..We already for first case.” She smiles. You smile back before the both of you look at the case in front of you.

…

1:00 PM.

You’ve been able to watch 2 surgeries today. They were both the same one and she questions everyone on it afterward. Everyone’s doing great but one person flakes. The same guy that tried to compliment her earlier.

His words get caught in his throat as you all sit in the O.R Gallery.

“You don’t seem very prepared, Dr. Johnson. Did you really go through four years or college and four years of medical school, just to flake?” She asks harshly and you feel hurt for him. He seems like the sensitive type and you sympathize with him. He’s a nervous wreck, similiar to the way you were back in College.

“N-no, sorry, can you repeat the question?”

“Why’re your apologizing?” She asks immediately. He rubs his palms on his scrubs as he meets her eyes.

“I-um-“

“Listen, Johnson. I need you to get some tough skin if you’re going to be working with me in the near future, I suggest you get off early to recollect yourself.” She suggests. He shakes his head before speaking.

“I can stay it’s f-fine.” He murmurs.

“Good.” She says briefly, almost like she was testing him.

..

3:53 PM

You all have a five minute break finally. You and Riri don’t click with any of the interns within your group, so you’ve founded a secluded hallway and managed to sit on an empty bed. She’s munching on some chips from the vending machine while you sip on some coke.

You’re both tired but neither of you have brought it up. Dr. Udaku is extremely strict and your brain has been moving too fast. She’s been testing everyone.

You’ve been awake for about 9 hours and you have 3

more to go.

“How you feeling?” You ask Riri. Her eyes drift slowly from her Chips to your face.

“It’s like God wanted to send the fuckin devil so he made her.” She scowls and you can’t help but laugh. She laughs quietly with you before speaking.

“She’s just so mean, what you think?” She asks. And a part of you finds it attractive. You’ve always liked both men and women and you’ve datee an equal amount but one thing you’ve always liked is someone that has their shit together.

She’s knowledgeable but not cocky. She knows her shit and she’s humble about it too. People gravitate towards her, it’s so fucking attractive and her tattoos and sharp jawline don’t help your case. And lord, her accent damn near makes your toes curl.

“Ion know she’s kinda fine.”

“See I knew you was gon’ say some wack ass shit.” Riri chuckles as she crumpled up her empty bag of chips.

“It’s true.” You shrug.

“Yeah, whatever, I get it.” She shrugs. You want to ask her who she thinks is attractive. You remember in medical school when Riri thought she might’ve like guys too but messed around with one one to realize she actually fucking hated it.

She kissed a friend while she was drunk and caught feelings quicker than she did with the guy she knew for a year.

That’s when she knew she only liked girls. You also know her type since you’ve known her for so long.

She doesn’t care for them being feminine or masculine since she’s a mix of both but she’s happened to date a mostly fems, mostly black women.

“Nobody here is pretty to you?”

“Vision, She coo’.” She shrugs. That’s Riri for ‘I’m trying to not make it a big deal but I really think she’s fine.’

You check your Apple Watch.

3:57 PM

looks like breaks over.

…

6:25 PM.

You feel gross now that you’re in your own clothes. Your team of interns is the first to be released and you watch Riri pull her sweatshirt over her body and slam her locker.

Eye bags are evident on her face and a small frown displays on her face as she grabs her car keys from her locker. She releases her hair from its bun and assess you, you’re still in the midst of changing.

“Meet me at the entrance in five, Y/N.” She rasps and yawning while walking past you. You’re the only one in the locker room and you’ve already changed into your flared leggings.

You remove your top, enjoying the fresh air on your skin. A knock forces you to turn around.

Dr. Udaku stands there, taking long strides before being an arms length away. You swear you see her eyes flash on the upper half of your body.

“Be early tomorrow, 7:20 instead of 8. I want you and Williams on rounds.” She speaks. Maybe your seeing things but the smallest smirk appears on that pretty face.

…

7:00 PM

Riri returns home from taking Roscoe out for a walk. She lays on the couch with him. You’ve both agreed to watch a movie together despite the exhaustion. You fill up your bowl of snacks and one for Riri as well.

“You want hot chips? You question, turning around when you’re met with silence. You find Riri knocked out, on her back and sprawled out on the couch, her arm and one leg hanging off of it.

You’re tired too. You walk towards her, grabbing the pillow against her side and placing it below her head. You cover her in a thick plush blanket that’s ended up on the floor (she probably kicked it off.) she luckily got her durag and bonnet on before knocking out. You turn the T.V off and watch Roscoe sleep on top of her feet. Sometimes you think the dog may be cute.

“Night’ Roscoe.” You say, petting the top of his head.

You turn all the lights off and make sure the door is locked and then go into your room. You still have so many boxes bur the first thing you do is fall straight into bed.

You get comfortable beneath the sheets and let sleep take over. Before you’re in too deep though, Dr. Udaku pops up in your brain. She’s so pretty. And you wonder if she has lean abs below those scrubs. Telling by those toned biceps, she just might.

You wonder where she’s from. You were going to ask till you remembered her no question statement earlier. Was she staring at you earlier? Maybe not? There’s no way, someone like her wouldn’t do anything that unprofessional like that. She’s too…harsh.

You’ll find out. Not tonight, but definitely someday.

[sadhours]

simmer down - chapter two

billy hargrove x hagan!oc

read on ao3 • masterlist • prev chapter

requests are open!!

warning: 18+ minors dni, smut, tiddie fucking, p in v, oc x steve, slow burn

summary: Gina has it easy being Tommy’s little sister. A spot with the cool crowd. Invites to all the parties. Everything she could ever want. But it seems to be more a burden when the new guy from California shows up and becomes best friends with her brother. At least she has Steve, or does she?

word count: 10k

—

Gina wore the outfit Carol picked out. She paired it with the fancy cropped leather jacket her parents had bought her for Christmas. She’d painstakingly curled her chestnut hair with her butane powered curling iron. She had to wake a whole hour earlier to do so. It was a lot of work to go through for a boy, but Gina was determined to catch Billy’s attention. She even wore foundation makeup, which hid the majority of her freckles and she spent too long doing her winged eyeliner. She had to skip breakfast but she hoped it was a worthy sacrifice.

When she gets downstairs, she’s glad she catches her parents before they leave. She bounces on her tip toes and makes big doe eyes at her mother, “Can you schedule me an appointment at the salon? I need my hair permed again.”

Her mother smiles, “Of course, sweetie. You look pretty.”

“Thanks,” Gina beams.

Tommy snorts, shoveling a spoonful of his cereal into his mouth. “She’s trying to impress my new friend,” he says around the Wheaties.

“Shut up!” Gina groans and her mother gives her a knowing look.

“That kid with the Camaro?” their dad asks, “He seems like a good kid. Very respectful.”

“You two should ask him over for dinner. I’d like to get to know him,” their mom says, double checking her briefcase.

“He’s joining the basketball team,” Tommy adds, standing from the table to dispose of his bowl in the sink.

“What’s his name again?” their dad asks.

“Billy Hargrove,” Gina says with a dreamy smile and Tommy smacks the back of her head.

“Thomas Michael Hagan! Do not hit your sister,” their mother scolds.

Tommy mocks her, swinging his backpack over his shoulder as their little sister wanders into the kitchen. Gina double checks the small girls braids. She’d done them last night before bed and wants to make sure they’re not too messy from sleep.

“Invite that nice young man over for dinner,” their mom repeats, “I’ll make shepherds pie.”

“Yeah, I will, mom,” Tommy says exasperatedly and he ushers Gina out the door, tugging her by her backpack.

She climbs into the front seat and Tommy does the same in the drivers side, he turns the key in the ignition but before he shifts any gears, he turns to his sister and she meets his intense gaze. It’s a look he hasn’t given her before and if she’s honest, it scares her a bit.

“I told you he’s off-limits,” he tells her sternly.

Gina swallows the lump in her throat, “I’m… I know. I wasn’t wearing this to impress him.”

Her voice is shaky and she hopes Tommy can’t pick up on the obvious lie. She wonders if Carol talked to him last night. While she did consider Carol to be her best friend, she wouldn’t put it past her to tell Tommy their plan.

“Don’t fuck this up. I want to be his friend,” he continues, “I don’t have a guy friend to do cool stuff with anymore. Since the shit with Steve, I just hang out with you and Carol and no offense, you guys aren’t that fun.”

“You don’t think your girlfriend is fun?” Gina scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest.

Tommy groans, shoving the gear shift in reverse before looking behind him as he pulls out of the driveway. “I didn’t mean it like that. Don’t go telling her I said that,” he retorts. “I just mean, I get bored doing whatever the hell you two wanna do.”

Gina sighs, shaking her head, “I get it. I don’t like Billy, okay?”

“It’s not a matter of if you like him, just don’t try to sleep with him,” Tommy replies, turning on the stereo to cut their conversation short.

Gina doesn’t mind, though. Sometimes her and Tommy got along so well and then other times, she couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him. When they pick Carol up and Gina moves to the backseat, it’s like the conversation never even happened at all. Carol’s ranting about her parents the whole drive to school, not even sensing the tension between the Hagan siblings. As they pull into the parking lot, Gina sees Billy leaned against the side of his Camaro, talking to Tina. It makes her heart sink a bit but she remembers quickly that Tina doesn’t listen to the same music as him. Maybe it’s silly but she thinks it gives her an upper hand.

Gina doesn’t head over to Billy and Tina right away. Due to the conversation with her brother, she hangs back and pretends to be looking for something in her backpack. While she’s doing so, Steve pulls up and parks beside Tommy’s car. He’s alone and he looks forlorn, turning his car off and sinking into the seat. He closes his eyes and tilts his head back. She’s tempted to open the passenger door and sink in beside him, try her best to comfort him. However, she’s sure he’d tell her to get lost. Her eyes follow the curve of his nose down to his lips and she gets lost in memories of how it felt to kiss them. Then Steve lifts his head and opens his eyes, meeting her gaze.

Steve lifts his hand and waves, a small smile spreading across his lips. Gina’s sure she’s blushing as she waves back and pulls her backpack over her shoulders before turning to walk towards her group of friends. Tina’s excitedly talking to Carol and Tommy’s showing Billy a sports magazine. Gina’s fingers play with the strap of her backpack as she takes her place next to Carol, replaying the small moment she’d just had with Steve over and over in her head. She thinks it means something. An acknowledgment from him was all she’d been wanting for months now.

“What are you smiling about?” Billy asks as he kicks against her shoe, their eyes meeting.

“Nothing,” Gina replies, her smile not faltering.

Her stomach is full of butterflies, turning her head to watch as Steve walks towards the building. She suddenly can’t wait for study hall, the whole plot of impressing Billy with her outfit has fallen by the wayside. Steve’s name dangles on the tip of her tongue, those feelings of infatuation flooding back from such a minuscule interaction.

“Ya want a cigarette?” Billy offers and when she turns to look at him again she doesn’t miss the way his eyes travel down her body and back up.

“Sure,” she shrugs, taking the Marlboro perched between his fingers.

Billy leans forward to light it for her and Gina can feel everyone’s eyes on them. Especially the narrow ones of her brother and Tina. She sinks her shoulders a bit, turning away from Billy and instead involves herself in the conversation the girls are having. Carols worried about some test and Tina’s relating. Gina is suddenly reminded that next year she won’t have the security of her friend group. They’re all seniors. Come this June, they’ll be free of Hawkins High and onto whatever awaits them next. Tommy and Carol have plans to attend school out of state. Gina’s not too excited to assimilate into another group. She’s scared of being lonely.

——

Steve smiles up at Gina when she walks into study hall and takes her seat. Unintentionally, her effort in getting ready this morning has clearly caught his attention. She smiles back at him before opening up her backpack and pulling out her binder, shuffling through the pages to get started on her math homework. Steve’s eyes are burning holes into the side of her face. She’s happy about it but she still feels shy so she untucks her hair from behind her ear and lets it fall against her cheek. She wonders what this means. Perhaps Steve and Nancy are broken up now.

A note is tossed on her desk, coming from Steve’s direction. When she turns to look at him, he stretches his arms up and fakes a yawn, not looking nearly as inconspicuous as he’s trying to. Gina’s cheeks hurt from the smile spreading across her lips and she’s pretty sure she hasn’t stopped blushing since she walked in the classroom. Her fingers unfold the paper to see Steve’s messy handwriting scrawling out the simple message next to a smiley face:

Hi

Gina chews on the end of her pencil as she reads it, glancing up to see Steve tapping his fingers against the top of his desk. This is more than an acknowledgment, it’s a conversation. Tingles run up her legs, her heart beating a little faster as she reads it over again. Her pencil meets the paper, jotting down her reply.

Hey

She carefully folds it back up, darting her eyes to their teacher. He’s focused on whatever he’s working on at his desk. Since the coast is clear, she slides the note back to Steve before trying to get back to her homework but the numbers don’t hold her attention for long as she eagerly awaits his reply. Out of her peripheral, she sees Steve writing on the note before folding it back up and passing it to her.

How have you been? Missed you.

Gina’s heart about jumps out of her throat, her stomach flipping as she focuses on the last two words of his reply. Possibilities of the implications race through her mind. Did Steve miss her in the way she missed him? Was this friendly or romantic? She’s got to play it safe and assume it’s friendly so as to not embarrass herself. Gina writes back:

Bored. Missed you too.

Steve’s fingers brush hers as she passes him the paper back, their eyes meeting and Gina recognizes the glint in his brown ones. Steve is flirting. It’s very safe to assume Nancy is no longer his girlfriend, at least Gina thinks so. Unless her attempt to get Billy’s attention inadvertently caught Steve’s. Which was odd, Gina didn’t show up looking like a completely different person. Steve had seen her dolled up plenty of times before. Maybe Nancy and Jonathon really had something going on.

Steve tosses the note back, lounges back in his desk a bit and glances up at the clock.

Me too. We should get together soon. Do something fun.

Suppressing the excited giggles rising up her throat proves to be a difficult task as a few of them escape. Gina blushes an even deeper shade of red, quickly covering the note with her homework as their teacher snaps his head up to look at her. She quickly purses her lips and pretends to be mulling over her math problems, scribbling circles on the margins of the page.

“I don’t need to remind you all that study hall isn’t a free period,” the teacher announces, “Keep quiet and do your work.”

Gina couldn’t do her work even if she really, really wanted to. Steve’s at the forefront of her mind now. She imagines all the things they could do for fun, each scenario leads to a familiar excitement between her legs and she actually has to cross them for a bit of relief. After a few minutes have passed, Gina uncovers the note and writes in her best cursive:

Sure, I’d like that.

She meticulously folds it back up and slides it back on Steve’s desk. He quickly scrawls out his reply and hands it back over. Gina unfolds it slowly, checking to make sure the teacher hasn’t turned his attention back to her.

I’ll let you know when, babe.

Gina bites her lip to make sure no more excited sounds bubble out of her. After she’s folded the note back up, she tosses it into her backpack and spends the next excruciating twenty minutes daydreaming about the brunette boy next to her while failing at solving the rest of the problems on her worksheet. The bell rings finally, alerting the class that it’s lunch time and Gina starts putting her things away. Steve stands before her, puts his palm on her desk and smiles down at her. He looks so handsome in his jeans and pressed polo, the collar sticking up over his Member’s Only jacket.

“I’ll see you around, Gina,” he purrs and it takes everything in the freckled girl to not melt into a puddle on the seat.

Her voice is a dreamy whisper when she replies, “See you, Steve.”

His fingertips tap against her desk before he turns and walks out of the classroom, leaving her a little breathless and unbelievably elated. Steve Harrington wants to hang out with her again. It’s almost like she’s dreaming, she considers pinching herself to confirm she’s not. Gina’s practically dancing through the halls as she makes her way to her locker. She wonders if Steve will take her on a proper date this time. Every time they hung out before were under different implications, either Tommy was around or they were having sex. She hopes this time will be different.

By the time she makes it to the parking lot, everyone’s already gathered around Billy. Tina is curled into his side but Gina is quite literally so ecstatic that she can’t find it in herself to care. She’s getting Steve back, she’s so sure of it that the crush on Billy has slipped to the back of her mind. All she can think of is how soft Steve’s hair is, all the moles that scatter across his body and the way it felt when he kissed her. Steve, Steve, Steve. She’s basically chanting his name in her head. And the worst part is she couldn’t speak his name into existence around her friends. At least, not unless it was attached to an insult.

“Hey, Gina,” Billy greets in his low drawl, smirking lopsided. Just this morning that would’ve had her knees shaking but now, it reads as friendly.

“Hi, guys,” she chirps, “What’s up?”

“Billy joined the basketball team,” Tommy announces, beaming so bright it’s a little uncomfortable. Gina wonders why he’s so excited. Then she’s reminded about Carol’s comment about Tommy wanting Billy all to himself and Gina can’t bring herself to look at her brother.

“Very rad,” she muses, craning her head to look for the stupid boy she can’t get out of her head. She’s curious as to what Steve’s doing for lunch if he isn’t dating Nancy anymore. He never had trouble making friends but she doesn’t see him hang out with anyone besides Nancy these days. Aside from the group of middle schoolers he babysits.

They used to all sit in the cafeteria until Billy came around. The blonde doesn’t each lunch, ever. All he does is chain smoke during the hour. In fact, Gina realizes she’s never seen Billy eat but she knows he has to eat quite a bit for him to have muscles like he does. The new routine isn’t one she likes to much, she’s always starving when she gets home from school. Tommy is too. They started raiding the fridge and pantry as soon as they get through the door. However, Gina is pocketing the lunch money their parents give her and that’s been a nice bonus.

“Can’t wait to see him on the court,” Tommy continues, “He’s gonna devour Harrington.”

And there it is. Gina shouldn’t be shocked, Tommy can’t go an hour without shit talking his former best friend.

“Speaking of that,” Carol butts in, “Who’s all betting on him and Wheeler being over?”

“I have five on it,” Tommy snorts.

Tina giggles, “I’ll bet ten that they’ll get back together before the week is over.”

God, Gina hopes that isn’t the case. She also has some insight they don’t. Steve’s note is burning a hole in her backpack. She desperately wants to show it to someone, but it wouldn’t be received well. In fact, it’s guaranteed that Gina would be the only one to feel positive about it. And as much as she loves these assholes, that’s what they are— assholes. No doubt they’ll twist it and make Gina second guess Steve’s advances.

“Who fucking cares?” Billy seethes around his Marlboro, “Harrington’s love life is a bore. This place must fucking suck for each and every one of you to have such a vested interest in it.”

That’s one thing Gina’s noticed and liked about Billy; his disdain for gossip. Which is funny because that’s all her friends do. She’s guilty of it herself because well, the Californian is spot on. Hawkins is so dull that there’s not much else to talk about besides the people in it. The group kind of mumbles in agreement though it’s all a show for the new guy.

“And you know what I’ve noticed? Gina’s the only person who doesn’t talk about the guy,” he continues and all eyes fall on her.

Gina’s red cheeks are back, though in utter embarrassment. Thank god Billy can’t read minds because then he’d know that Steve is all she thinks about.

Tommy cackles, “That’s because she’s had a crush on him since she was like ten.”

“Shut up,” Gina fumes, smacking her brothers arm, “I do not.”

Billy’s eyebrows are raised as he looks at the small girl amused, “No shit?”

“I don’t not have a crush on Steve,” she defends herself and it’s true. It’s not a crush, she’s full blown in love with him.

“Tommy, you’re such an asshole,” Carol scolds, hooking her arm with Gina as she guides her away from the group but making sure to shove her shoulder against her boyfriends on the way.

Once they’re out of earshot, Carol continues, “Sometimes I have no idea why I love your brother. He’s the fucking worst.”

Gina swallows back the tears and hates herself for how easily it is to make her cry. She lets Carol drag her back to the cafeteria, they grab a small lunch each and Gina is eternally grateful she has Carol. They sit down at a table and Gina heaves a huge sigh.

“I hate him so much,” she complains, cracking open her Coke before shoving a straw into it. “That was so embarrassing.”

“I’m sorry,” Carol frowns, opening her pudding and shoveling a mouthful. “Tina’s really digging her claws into Billy anyways. Let them run their course and then make your move.”

Maybe the crush on Billy isn’t entirely dissolved, she was mortified with him finding out about her infatuation with Steve. Gina shakes her head, “I don’t want Billy.”

Carol rolls her eyes, “Oh, shut up. We all want him.”

Gina opens her bag of chips carefully and raises both her eyebrows at Carol, “Why don’t you dump Tommy and go for him then?”

The older girl heaves a sigh, resting her head on her hand as she looks at Gina, “Unfortunately, I love him.”

“Do you think you’ll marry Tommy?” she asks before munching on a handful of the Lay’s.

Carol giggles then, her face reddening at the thought and Gina’s happy for them. They really do love each other. It’s pretty gross.

“Hi,” the familiar voice catches Gina off guard, her and Carol look up to see Steve standing at the edge of the table, holding tightly onto his lunch tray.

A deep blush rises up Gina’s neck to her cheeks, staring up at big, dark eyes and a hesitant smile. Steve’s alone. It must feel awful given he’s walked up to Gina and well, Carol of all people. But he doesn’t glance to the redhead, keeps his eyes firm on Gina’s light brown ones. Of course, the older girl is shooting him daggers.

“What do you want, Harrington?” she seethes, mouth turned in disgust.

“Do you wanna join us?” Gina asks, voice sweet to offset Carol’s harsh tone.

“If that’s okay,” Steve replies, a little shy and still acting as if Carol isn’t there.

Gina nods, scooting further down the bench to accommodate the lanky brunette. Steve sits next to her, their thighs touching. The freckled girl sips her coke while she look’s curiously towards Carol. She seems amused and a little confused. She kicks Gina under the table and then stands.

“I’m gonna go find Tommy. See you after school?”

Gina nods, smiling wide, “Okay, sounds good.”

Once Carol stalks off, Steve heaves a sigh, “Well Carol still hates me.”

Gina giggles and offers, “I don’t.”

It almost looks like Steve is blushing, his cheeks swollen with the smile spread across his lips and he shakes his head. “For which I’m very grateful. I was kind of… a dickhead.”

Gina doesn’t want Steve to know how heartbroken she actually was from his departure. Always trying to be the cool girl, the one with no feelings and just a desire to have a good time. Something bred within her and Tommy, the biggest need to fit in and be liked. Their parents instilled in them how important it was to not stand out, do good in school, not catch too much attention.

“Yeah,” Gina breathes out, “I get it, though. I’m not mad at you.”

Steve smiles at her, offering the other cookie from his lunch while he bites down on one. Gina takes it with a grin, biting into the sweetness and holding her hand out to catch the crumbs falling from it. Steve looks at her with this intense, contended gaze. It makes her skin crawl in the best way, she likes his eyes on her. Gina likes attention, it’s a fault at most times. That’s why she has such a hard time saying no, always eager to please.

“How’s gymnastics?” Steve asks, suddenly.

Gina flushes, remembering how Steve used to go to all her meets and cheer her on. She always tried a little harder when he was there.

“Oh, I quit,” she says after swallowing the cookie, tucking her curly hair behind her ear.

“You did?” Steve’s eyes widen, in disbelief. Gina had been doing gymnastics since she was six years old. The Harrington’s paid for it until her parents could afford to. Barbara used to take her to the meets, Steve and Tommy in tow when her parents were too busy working. Gina was unbelievably competitive, she would cry if she came in second place. Gymnastics was her life for the longest time. She worked really hard to excel at it. When she wanted to quit, her parents were pissed.

She nods, reaching for her soda again, “I joined the cheerleading team. So I’ll be cheering you on during games.”

“You’ll be the best cheerleader with all that training,” Steve replies, stars in his eyes and it takes everything in Gina to not touch him. Her fingers tense, pressed firmly on her thigh.

“I’m a flyer,” she brags, “I’m not as tiny as Chrissy, but I can land just as good.”

“Probably better,” Steve compliments, “I remember going to all your meets. You always got first.”

“And when I didn’t, I’d throw a fit,” Gina reminisces, giggling in embarrassment.

Steve nods, chuckling with it, “You worked really hard.”

“So, maybe tomorrow we can hang out after school?” Gina offers, biting her lip.

“Yeah, my parents are in New York. For the month,” he explains, looking just a bit forlorn.

Steve used to brag about how he was always home alone, but Gina always figured he got lonely and that’s why he used to invite her, Tommy and Carol over everyday. She knew how reserved Nancy was, could only imagine that Steve spent more time alone than with her. For a good few months, Gina was over at the Harrington’s every day. She’d made out with Steve on practically every piece of furniture in his house and thinking about it now, she has to squeeze her thighs together. She recalls one time they’d made love on the piano displayed in the living room. It was a bit awkward, but nevertheless got her aroused to think of. She wonders if Nancy would let Steve take her anywhere or if she only let him have sex in bed. Gina wonders if her and Nancy are similar at all. She doubts it.

“Okay. I’ll come over after school,” Gina smiles, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Cool,” Steve nods, stealing a chip from Gina. She wants to ask Steve about Nancy but she doesn’t.

-

“Is that boy coming over?” Gina’s mom asks after Tommy and Gina walk through the door.

“Yeah,” Tommy says, “He’s gotta watch his sister until his parents get home, then he’ll be over.”

Gina completely missed that conversation and within the excitement of Steve finally acknowledging her again, she forgot Billy was supposed to come over for dinner.

“I’m gonna do my homework,” she mumbles, rushing to her room and shutting the door behind her. She drops her backpack on her bed and fishes through it for the note from Steve. Gina’s fingertips smooth over it, the butterflies in her stomach swirling around fast. It’s a little pathetic on her part, how easily she’s back wrapped around his finger. She throws herself on her bed and lets out a fit of giggles, holding the note close to her chest. She reads their conversation over and over as she begins imagine what they’ll do tomorrow. The mention of his parents being out of town gives you a slight indication, but she wonders if Steve will be different, now. Maybe Nancy sparked something in him and now he’s romantic. Gina hopes he asks her to be his girlfriend and she knows how foolish that is, because him and Nancy just broke up. But maybe Steve missed her. Maybe he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

After an hour or so of daydreaming, she lifts herself from the bed and files through her records. She pulls out Fire of Unknown Origin by Blue Öyster Cult and puts it on the record player, dropping the needle down and turning the volume up. She opens her closet up, delicately picking out her outfit tomorrow and lying it out on the chair in the corner of her room. She picks a turquoise shirt with white stripes and a white tennis skirt while imagining how she’ll style her hair and makeup. However, a particular blonde crosses her mind and she turns her eyes back to her closet. Just because she’s got the promise of Steve doesn’t mean she can’t look cute for Billy. She can’t help but wanting to catch his attention.

Settling on a pair of comfy, cheer shorts and leaving her Metallica shirt on, Gina sits at her vanity and begins touching up her makeup. It wasn’t too bad, but it did need to be freshened up. After, she reaches for a scrunchie and ties her hair up in a messy ponytail, making sure to pull a few pieces out to frame her face. The goal is to look effortless while actually putting the effort it. Gina grabs her bottle of cherry almond scented lotion and rubs it into her legs and arms. She glances at her alarm clock. It’s almost five thirty. Billy should be over soon. She grabs a copy of Cosmo and travels to read it in the living room.

An article about how to get your man’s attention is particularly enthralling. Gina takes notes mentally. Be mysterious, make lots of eye contact and laugh at their jokes. She hums, thinking about how Steve often makes her laugh. He’s very funny.

When she’s about halfway through the magazine, the doorbell rings. She remains calm, doesn’t jolt up from the couch to answer it like she desperately wants to. Besides, she can hear her mom answer the door and greet Billy.

“Billy, right?”

“That’s right. Nice to see you, Mrs. Hagan.”

“Please, call me Kathryn. Come on in.”

“Thank you, Kathryn.”

Billy walks into the living room, peeks over the couch at Gina and drawls out, “Cosmo, huh? Anything juicy?”

“Hi, Billy,” she says without looking up. Mysterious.

“Tommy’s in his bedroom,” her mom tells him before trailing back in the kitchen. “Dinner will be done soon.”

Billy reaches forward and grabs onto Gina’s ankle, jostling her playfully and then winks as he descends down the hall. Her breath catches her throat, flipping into her back as she stares up at the ceiling. Tries to ignore the tingling feeling where his fingers just were, closes her eyes and pictures Steve’s face. It works okay until she hears her brother’s obnoxious laugh, muffled by walls but loud enough to hear in the living room. She opens her eyes again and sighs, sitting up and wandering into the kitchen.

“Do you need help?” she asks her mom.

“Sure, sweetie,” Kathryn smiles warmly, “You can go ahead and set the table.

Gina nods, walking over to the cabinet and carefully grabs six plates. She carries them to the table and places them in their designated spots, realizing the usually empty seat is right across from her. She’ll be staring at Billy for the duration of their meal. Awesome. She tears off six squares of paper towels and lays them out. Next, Gina collects the silverware and places a fork next to each plate. She retrieves two wine glasses, sets them in front of her parents plates before grabbing three glasses and then Bridgette’s special plastic cup with cartoon characters decorating it. She fills Bridgette’s cup with milk and then fills the other glasses with juice.

Just then her dad walks into the kitchen, kissing her cheek and then her mothers.

“How was school today, sweetheart?” he asks.

“It was good. I’m going to stay late tomorrow to work on a project for science class,” she explains, chewing on her lower lip while she hopes it doesn’t sound like she’s lying.

“Alight, honey,” her dad smiles and turns to his wife, “Smells good. Almost ready?”

“All done,” Kathryn nods, “Gina, go grab your brother and his friend.”

Gina waits until she turns away to scrunch her face up, unsure why she’s suddenly so nervous. Once she gets close to Tommy’s bedroom, she hikes her shorts up just a smidge. Her knuckles wrap against the door, her stomach fills with butterflies as she opens it up and peeks in to see Billy and Tommy lying very still on their backs on his bed.

“What are you guys doing?” she asks, tilting her head.

Billy has his hands on his chest and Tommy’s are in fists by his sides. It looks weird. Even weirder when Tommy sits up and Gina sees his cheeks are flushed, hiding his freckles.

“Nothing,” Tommy says, “What do you want?”

Gina glances at Billy, as he remains on his back. She almost wishes she hadn’t knocked and just barged in to see what they were doing.

“Dinner’s done,” she narrows her eyes at Tommy. She’ll be sure to ask him once Billy leaves.

“Okay,” Tommy says, “We’ll be right out.”

Gina opens the door wider and leans against the frame, “You guys look suspicious. What are you hiding?”

Tommy reaches for a pillow and chucks it at her, “Get out. We’ll be out soon.”

“If you guys have grass and you’re holding out, I’m gonna be pissed,” she whispers, picking the pillow up and throws it back at him before retreating back. She heads to her sisters room, smiling at the small girl as she rearranges her stuffed animals on her bed.

“Bridgette, it’s time to eat,” Gina smiles and the little brunette hops up to her feet.

She slaps Gina’s leg as she runs passed her, “Tag, you’re it!”

Gina goes to chase her but Billy’s exiting Tommy’s room and she almost collides into him. He grabs her wrist and hip to catch her, chuckling softly as their eyes meet.

“Careful,” he says lowly, “Ya almost took me out.”

“Yeah, well…” Gina taps his chest and runs passed him, calling back, “Tag! Billy’s it!”

Billy walks into the dining room casually, eyebrows raised as he watches Gina round the table and hide behind her younger sister, the both of them giggling. He pouts at them, “No fair. I didn’t even know we were playing tag.”

“That’s what makes it fun,” Gina grins, using Bridgette as a human shield.

“What’s fun?” Tommy asks when he finally makes an appearance.

Billy pats his shoulder, “Tag— and you’re it.”

Tommy just rolls his eyes before sitting in his seat, reaching for his glass of juice and taking a big gulp. Gina notices his cheeks aren’t as flushed but his lips look swollen. Her stomach turns suddenly, wondering if her suspicion are true. Maybe Carol was right all along. She quickly pushes the thoughts aside, feeling sick at the thought of her brother kissing Billy.

“Tommy doesn’t play tag,” Bridgette complains as she sits in her chair, pushing her hair out of her face. Gina walks behind her, pulling her hair up and ties with the the hair-tie from her wrist. Then she sits in her seat, watching as Billy sits across from her.

“Thanks for dinner, Kathryn,” Billy smiles, “I appreciate it. Bless my step moms heart but she’s not the best cook.”

“Oh, well you’re welcome to join us whenever you’d like,” Kathryn smiles at the blonde.

“My mommy’s the best at cooking,” Bridgette beams, “She makes me peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for school.”

“I bet,” Billy smiles, picking up his fork. “Do you guys say grace or?”

Their dad laughs, “Nope. We’re a godless house. Go ahead and dig in.”

“If you say grace, we can,” Kathryn says, always wanting her guests to feel at home.

“Oh, we do at my house but that’s my dad’s thing,” Billy explains, his cheeks a little pink suddenly. “I just didn’t want to be rude.”

The Hagan patriarchy chuckles again, “Rude? You’ve met my kids. Hard to surprise me anymore.”

“I’m not rude!” Bridgette whines.

“So, Gina,” Kathryn changes the subject, “Who are you working on this science project with?”

Gina swallows the lump in her throat. She was hoping they wouldn’t bring it up in front of her brother and Billy. Even though she was gonna repeat the same lie to them tomorrow. She shrugs, waving her hand, “Some kids from my class. We’re just gonna work in the library.”

“You’re gonna walk home then,” Tommy mumbles with his mouth full. His mom shoots him daggers across the table.

“The car came with the responsibility of driving your sister around, Tommy. You’ll pick her up,” their dad says, reaching for his glass of wine.

“I’ll get a ride from someone, it’s fine,” Gina insists, “I don’t know when we’ll be done anyways.”

“You know your curfew,” Kathryn says.

Gina nods, finally lifting her eyes to Billy and noticing he’s staring right at her. Her skin feels warm as she wills herself not to blush. His eyes are so intense but she likes them on her.

“Oh and I have cheer practice this week, but it’s the same time as basketball practice,” Gina adds, still looking up at Billy.

“I heard you joined the team, Billy. You play before?” their dad asks.

Billy turns to look at him, “Yeah. Back home, I played basketball and baseball.”

“We actually have a chance this year,” Tommy adds, beaming from ear to ear.

“You competitive, Billy?”

“Yeah, I don’t like to lose,” Billy says with a laugh.

“Gina’s like that. She was a gymnast for ten years,” Kathryn smiles at her daughter, “Placed at least second every meet, if she didn’t win.”

“Yeah,” Tommy snorts, “And she’d throw the biggest tantrum is she didn’t get first. Water works, stomping around, the whole nine yards.”

Gina rolls her eyes, “I did not.” She did.

“You were a gymnast?” Billy asks, an amused look on his face. “Why’d you stop?”

“I wanted to join cheer. The schedules conflicted,” she shrugs, “If I don’t like it, I’ll join gymnastics again.”

“Win any trophies?” he asks, and it feels like they’re the only two people at the table. Her heart flutters as she pushes her food around her plate with her fork.

“A couple,” she shrugs again.

“She has a whole bunch in her room!” Bridgette exclaims, bouncing in her seat.

Billy laughs, turning his attention to the younger girl, “Do you play any sports?”

“I’m in tumbling,” she says proudly, “That’s how Gina started. I’m gonna get a bunch of trophies like her.”

“Very cool,” Billy smiles at her.

“Do you have any trophies?” Bridgette asks.

“Mhm,” Billy hums as he chews his food, swallowing before answering her, “I have a couple for surfing.”

“Surfing?!” Bridgette squeals, eyes wide, “Like in the ocean?!”

“Yep,” Billy tells her, “I used to live right by the ocean.”

“I didn’t know you surfed,” Gina says, surprised.

Billy nods, “Can’t do it here. But yeah, I used to go out every morning at like four to surf before school and then during summers, couldn’t keep me away from the ocean. I started when I was eight years old.”

“The ocean scares me,” Kathryn admits, “So vast. So unexplored.”

Billy frowns, “Huh. Yeah, plus sharks and stuff. But in my experience sharks are pretty laid back.”

“You’ve seen a shark?” Bridgette gapes at the older boy.

Billy grins wide, “Yeah. I used to pet them.”

“And they don’t bite you?” she looks at him alarmed, almost like she can’t believe him.

“Nope. Well, not the ones I pet. But some of them bite,” he tells her. “I saw a lot of Leopard sharks. They’re harmless. But we had Great White sharks out there and those ones are mean. I didn’t see them often, though.”

“How do you not run away when you see them?” Bridgette wonders, her eyebrows knit together.

Billy tilts his head, “If you act calm, they don’t bother you. If I tried to get away really fast, they might come after me.”

“I’m not going to touch a shark,” she says, “I don’t want to get bit. Have you been stung by a jelly fish?”

Billy smiles at her. He’s got this sweet look on his face that makes Gina a little smitten, seeing this bad boy facade kind of fall while he talks to her baby sister is the cutest thing. She thinks Billy would be a good dad and then goes down this short spiral of daydreaming about having a baby with him. Clearly Tommy can read her face because her kicks her under the table.

“I have, actually. My friend had to pee on me,” Billy tells her while scrunching up his face.

“Ew! Why?”

“I don’t know. We heard you had to do that,” Billy says, “But I think it just made it worse.”

Bridgette giggles, “And it’s gross.”

“It was gross,” he agrees.

“I’ve never been to the ocean,” Gina admits.

Her mother sighs, “One day, you will. We’re due for a vacation soon. I’m thinking Disney world.”

Bridgette gets excited, starts begging her parents to go. Their dad sighs, “See what you’ve done, Kathryn.”

—

Gina’s cleaning up after dinner. Her parents are enjoying glasses of wine on the back patio and Bridgette is watching a movie in the living room. Billy wanders into the kitchen, leans against the counter.

“Need help?”

Gina smiles at him, “I’m just about done. I always have dish duty.”

“Me too, usually,” Billy admits, “Kind of weird not to.”

“Enjoy it while you can,” Gina tells him as she scrubs the last pan with the sudsy sponge.

“So, you’re pretty flexible, then?”

“Excuse me?” Gina turns to him as her face erupts in red.

“Well, being a gymnast and all… you’ve got to be flexible to do that,” Billy explains, smirking at the younger girl.

Gina gapes at him, his tone and eyes seem to indicate that he’s flirting yet she can’t bring herself to believe it to be true. So she doesn’t really know how to respond to him. If Tommy hadn’t told her to back off and if Billy wasn’t so goddamn handsome, she’d flirt back easily. But she just… can’t.

“Uh, yeah, I guess so. I was kind of gunning for the Olympics but well, I don’t know if I’m that good,” she explains a little sheepishly.

Billy bites his lip, nods at her slowly before he tells her, “You’ll have to show me sometime.”

Gina smiles awkwardly at him, “I think I’ll be doing some stuff for cheer. I’m a flyer, so they’re gonna be throwing me up in the air to do flips.”

“Guess I’ll see it then,” he muses, “Can I see your trophies?”

Her stomach flips, thinking about Billy being in her room.

“Uh, sure…” she sets down the last pan to dry and nods towards her room, “They’re just on a bookshelf in my room.”

She trails down the hallway until she gets to her bedroom, slowly opening the door and scanning her eyes across the room like it’s the first time she’s seeing it. Wonders what Billy will think of it. Her carpet is a dusty rose pink and her wallpaper is floral stripes, daisies and roses. She’s got a full size bed pushed up against the wall on the right side, a white frame with pink and white floral bedding. Her nightstand is white as well, has a pretty pink and blue dolphin lamp on it next to her alarm clock and the latest romance novel she’s picked up. Next to her nightstand is her matching vanity, where all her hair products, makeup and perfumes are displayed delicately. Her walls are decorated with posters, mostly bands she likes but a couple of framed prints her mother picked out as well. Across from her bed is her dresser, her record player on top of it and next to that is her bookshelf. The first two top shelves meticulously display her trophies, the middle one stores her books and the bottom two keep her records and cassettes.

“Interesting,” Billy says, sounding amused.

“What?” Gina asks, suddenly really nervous.

Billy shrugs, “It’s very pink. I thought it would be different.”

He’s thought about her room. Gina tries not to bounce on her feet in excitement.

“What did you think it’d be like?”

“Well, you listen to metal… so more… that,” he chuckles and Gina laughs with him.

“Oh… well, here’s my trophies,” she gestures to the bookshelf.

“I thought they said you threw fits if you got second,” Billy mumbles, fingertips grazing the pieces of plastic, “All of these are first place.”

“Well, I’m not gonna display that I lost,” she explains, her cheeks hearing up, “Those are in the garage.”

“Ha,” he scoffs as he squats down to look at her records, “but you’ll display this?” He pulls out an album, flipping it to show Gina. The Go-Go’s.

“I like that album,” she frowns, bending down next to him as he slides it back in.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Billy whispers, looking up at her with a glint in his eyes, “but I like it too.”

“You really do have good taste then,” she giggles.

Just then, her door swings open and Tommy bursts through.

“What’re you doing?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed.

“Billy wanted to see my trophies,” Gina explains, standing up as Billy does.

“Well, I better get back home,” he checks his watch, “Curfew.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Tommy insists.

“I’ll see you later,” Billy says on his way out, before Tommy follows him, he turns to Gina with narrowed eyes.

—

Steve’s house is quiet as the two of them walk in the door. He leads her up the stairs and to his very familiar bedroom. She drops her backpack on the floor and looks up at him, expectantly. Steve smiles, walks towards his bed and sits on it.

“Make yourself at home,” he says.

Gina smiles awkwardly back at him, walking towards the bed and sitting beside him. It’s kind of strange being so close to Steve again. Gina feels eager, has to keep her fingers busy fussing with her skirt so she doesn’t push him back down on the bed and straddle him.

“So,” Steve says, but doesn’t continue. Instead he just looks from Gina’s eyes to her lips.

“So,” she parrots.

Steve cracks a grin, moves his fingers forward and tucks Gina’s hair behind her ear. The shell of her ear tingles from the touch and she drops her eyes down to his lips. He bites his lower one, let’s his fingers ghost the supple skin of Gina’s cheeks.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, still smiling at her.

“Steve,” she whines, raising her hands to cover her face.

He grips her wrists as he laughs, pulling her hands down, “I mean it. I’ve really missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” she admits shyly, looking back up to meet his big brown eyes.

“You don’t hate me?”

“I could never hate you,” she promises, her heart skips a beat as he links their fingers together.

“Yeah?” Steve whispers, scooting closer to her. Gina nods at him.

Then Steve leans in, ghosting his lips over Gina’s. He seems like he’s hesitant, like he thinks she’ll push him away. So she lets go of his hands and grips onto his shirt, pulls him close so their lips finally collide. Steve’s hands shoot up to hold Gina’s face, he makes the softest little moan against her plush lips and she can’t help but squirm at it. His tongue grazes her lower lip, Gina parts her lips instantly to allow him entrance. Her thighs tingle as their tongues meet. Kissing Steve was always her favorite. She found no other boy could kiss like him. The way it made her head swim was addictive.

He lays her back on the bed, situating himself between her thighs as he deepens the kiss. It’s urgent, desperate. Gina clings on to his polo like she’s scared he’s gonna float away. His nose bumps against hers, causing them both to smile into the open mouthed kiss. He lowers his hand down and starts feeling Gina up through her bra and shirt, squeezing softly. She hooks her leg over his waist, pulling him even closer.

Usually, Gina would be content to lay here for hours just kissing Steve but it’s been so long since she’s had him and she’s pretty eager for more. She pulls his shirt over his head, breaking the kiss for just a second and then smoothing her hands over his chest. While they continue kissing, Steve kicks off his Nike’s and they land to his floor with a dull thud. Gina takes that as her cue and does the same, but hooking her leg back over him when she finishes. Steve pushes her shirt up, exposing her bra to him and he lowers his head to place delicate kisses over the curve of her breast. Gina gasps out, hooking her fingers in his soft hair. Steve sucks a pretty sizable bruise into her cleavage before pulling her bra cup down enough to get his lips around her hardened nipple. Gina’s particularly sensitive there and her back involuntarily arches at the feeling.

“A-ah, Steve!” she moans out, eyes fluttering shut.

He swirls his tongue around it before sucking it back between his lips. She pulls on his hair, rolling her hips up against him. He grinds back, giving the tiniest bit of friction with his jeans. Gina gasps out as Steve flicks his tongue against her nipple before he’s pulling away. He pulls her shirt over her head and she sits up a bit so he can unclasp her bra and pull it down her arms. He cups her breasts in his hands, pushing them together and then jiggling them as he gazes down with hungry eyes. Gina giggles, her cheeks flushed while he plays with her tits. He used to compliment them a lot, tell her they were the biggest he’d seen.

“Can I fuck your tits?” he asks, his eyes going dark as he glances back up at her.

Gina nods frantically. She’d let Steve do anything he wanted, “Please.”

He grins, pulling away to shove his pants and briefs down his legs. He straddles her middle, hand wrapped firmly around his long cock. He strokes himself a few times, squeezing his tip and then pressing his slit to her perked nipple. The coolness of his precum smearing against her sensitive bud makes Gina squirm.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” she mumbles, watching the action with her eyebrows knit together.

“Mhm,” he grins, rubbing the head of his cock against her nipple a couple of times.

Then he spits in his hand, spreads the saliva over his cock and lays it between Gina’s breasts. She props herself up on her elbows, watching as Steve pushes her tits together. He rolls his hips slowly, the head of his cock appearing from the top of her cleavage. Gina giggles before sticking out her tongue, his tip meeting it with each thrust. Steve groans lowly, his hips snapping a bit harder each time.

“Jesus, Gina,” he whines, “You’re so hot.”

Eventually, Steve gets fed up and scoots up. He rubs the head of his cock against Gina’s lips so she sticks her tongue out again. He slaps the tip against her tongue and she wraps her lips around it, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Such a good girl,” he coos in a dreamy voice, pushing her hair back while he slowly thrusts into her mouth.

Gina hums around him, relaxing her throat to take his length. He’s always gentle though, doesn’t shove it too far down. Steve likes her to focus on his tip, while he squeezes the base.

“Gina,” he whines, his lips bitten pink and shiny with the way he keeps licking them.

She loves the view, staring up at him with adoration. She thinks Steve might be the prettiest boy she’s seen. Gina absolutely loves his floppy hair, his big brown eyes and the slight hook of his nose. The moles too. The two on his cheek and the two on his neck.

He pulls back, gasping as he does so. Gina licks her lips, looking up at him all doe-eyed and Steve curses, squeezing his dick.

“Gina— Christ,” he pants.

“Need you,” she begs, rolling her hips up.

Steve lowers himself to the ground, forcing Gina to sit up right to watch him. He pulls her leg warmers and socks off, grazes his fingers against her calves before pulling her closer to the edge of the bed. He reaches up, pulling her underwear down her legs. She goes to pull her skirt down but his hand stops her.

“Keep it on,” he insists, bunching it up above her waist before pressing kisses to her freckled thighs.

Her breath catches in her throat, watching him closely as he spreads her legs further apart. Steve lips dip down, pressing a kiss against her soaking cunt. She hisses when he slides his tongue up her slit. Steve’s the only one who’s ate her out. And he’s still the only person who has made her cum. He’s done it with his mouth a number of times, but his dick has been the only one big enough to reach her g-spot. So she was kind of spoiled with him being her first sexual partner. Everyone after had been incredibly disappointing, the only thing she gained from them was a quick confidence boost.

“Oh, Stevie,” she hums, knotting her fingers in his hair while he licks through her folds. “Feels so good.”

She can feel him hum against her, vibrating in the best way that has her back arching at the sensation. The feeling almost has her eyes close but she needs to watch him. He looks up at her while he does it, mouth pressed flush against her pussy and the sight is absolutely delicious. She wants to tell him how pretty he is but she thinks men don’t like being called that.

He swirls his tongue around her clit, raising his eyebrows as he does so. She whimpers for him, pushing his hair off his forehead. Her shoulders tense up, mouth hanging open while soft moans tumble out. It’s like time stops with Steve’s mouth on her. All the bad blood and history falling away. It’s like he never ditched her for Nancy in the first place. It’s like Steve loves her.

“Steve,” she preens, her thighs tightening around his head as she feels her orgasm creeping up on her. “Need you. Need you now.”

He pulls back, Gina scoots up the bed and spreads her legs for him. Steve positions himself between her thighs, kissing her deeply as he does so. God. She’s still in love with him. Gina loves him.

She clings onto him tightly, gasping into his mouth as he sheathes himself inside her. She can’t believe it’s finally happening. It’s been so long, months and months of waiting. He gets his cock about half the way inside her before he stills, the two of them panting into the kiss. Steve does that a lot, stops for seconds at a time. Gina thinks it’s because he’s trying not to cum and for some reason, that’s really sweet. All the boys after Steve didn’t care about her pleasure. She felt used afterwards. And even if Steve drives her home right after this, she’ll still be madly in love with him.

“Steve,” she moans against his mouth, wrapping her legs around his waist as she pulls him the rest of the way inside.

He makes a strangled noise, moving to shove his face against her neck. It’s a stretch she’s missed dearly. A stretch her fingers or the handle of her hairbrush couldn’t replicate. Not to mention, the breath on her neck. The weight of him on top of her. She’s not sure she can go any time without this again.

Gina has to roll her hips up because Steve’s still not moving, panting into her neck and grabbing onto her elbows.

“Slow down, baby,” he grits out, “You feel so good.”

The pet name makes her walls flutter, clenching tightly onto him. He chokes out a laugh, pulling his head back as he grabs onto her jaw. Steve turns her face and plants a big, fat kiss on her cheek. It makes Gina giggle, wrapping her arms around his shoulder and squeezing him. All the desperation inside her subsides and is taken over by a warm, heavy feeling of love for Steve. She realizes she wants to take this slow, wants to savor the moment. She pushes his hair back, gazing into his eyes. He smiles down at her, she returns it.

“Missed you,” she mumbles softly, “Missed this.”

“Me too,” he admits, cupping her chin and stroking his thumb against her lips.

“You’re pretty,” she finally says.

Steve scrunches his face up before he laughs softly, “You are.”

He rolls his hips against her slowly, his tip brushing against the sensitive, spongy part deep inside her. Gina gapes, eyebrows furrowing while she whines out softly. Steve builds a languid rhythm, petting Gina’s hair with every slow thrust. They keep the eye contact, lips parted as soft moans slip out. Even Steve’s voice is pretty, almost melodic. She thinks he’s a good singer, used to tell him all the time, though that seems inappropriate now. Gina recalls a time when they got into his parents records. Steve had put on a Three Dog Night album and sang to her, trying to be silly with a cigarette between his fingers. As funny as Steve was being, he sounded good.

Suddenly, he jerks his hips abruptly against hers. Hammering against her g-spot in a mind numbing fashion. Every damn thought in her head dissolves and that neediness takes over again. Gina writhes against him, scratching down his back while squeezing her eyes shut. He builds up a quick pace, makes Gina’s eyes roll back as he cries out. Steve drags his hand down her stomach, presses the pad of his thumb against her clit. The sensation makes Gina jump, grabbing onto Steve’s shoulders when he rubs firm circles against it.

“Stevie,” she cries, moving her fingers into his hair again.

Steve pistons his hips quicker, little grunts and pants falling beautifully from his lips as he brings Gina to completion. The orgasm is almost violent, makes her yell out as it seizes through her body. Steve makes the prettiest sound, a cross between a whine and moan. Once she’s recovered enough, she presses her palms against Steve’s cheeks, looking into his eyes while he pumps his hips into her.

“Oh, Steve,” she moans, feeling the tears collecting at the corners of her eyes, “Cum for me, baby.”

Steve grunts, his face contorting in pleasure, “Where?”

Gina sticks her tongue out, meeting his intense gaze.

“Fuck,” he whines, pulling up and quickly shuffling up to straddle her chest.

Gina wraps her lips around his tip, sinks down as much as she can and hollows out her cheeks. She looks up at him with glassy, wide eyes. The brunette whines repeatedly, emptying in her mouth with his fists gripping her hair.

“Gina!” he grits out, “Fuck, fuck…”

She continues sucking, milking every bit of cum out of him. Steve collapses down beside her, breathing heavily while Gina swallows his spunk down. She giggles, turning to cuddle up against her. He pants, holding her loosely as he comes down from his high.

“God damn,” he exhales after a minute, turning to the freckled girl.

“Mmm,” she hums, leaning close to peck his lips. After a beat she bites her lip, “I need a cigarette, I think.”

“Fuck, me too,” Steve chuckles, sitting up slowly. He stands, reaching for Gina’s hands and pulling her up with him. They silently dress and then Gina grabs her pack of cigarettes and follows Steve out to the backyard. They sit in lounge chairs and light a smoke each. Gina closes her eyes as she inhales, feels like her body is vibrating.

“So… how mad is Tommy?”

“At you?” Gina replies, turning to look at Steve, “I think… I think he just feels like you chose Nancy.”

He seems to visibly deflate at the girls name, which doesn’t make Gina feel all that great. But she’s just telling the truth. It was like ten years of friendship down the drain because some girl didn’t like Tommy. Carol told Gina that Steve said they were all assholes, but Steve was too and used to be worse than Tommy.

“Yeah, I kind of did,” he says after a beat. Gina doesn’t mention how he chose Nancy over her, too. Because her and Steve never solidified their relationship. They had to hide they were sleeping together and Gina was always too nervous to ask him what they were.

“He’s pretty mad,” she offers slowly, “But I think more than anything, he’s hurt. Don’t worry though, he’s found someone else to follow around.”

“Oh, yeah… Billy. God, that guy is such a dick. Like royally.”

Gina bites her lip, takes a deep inhale from the cigarette and feels the heavy smoke fill her lungs. She turns to Steve, “He’s nice to me.”

Steve scoffs then, “Gee, wonder why.”

“I don’t know,” Gina replies, “I haven’t really seen him be mean to anyone.”

“Oh, come on,” Steve raises his eyebrows, “You’re a pretty girl. Why else would he be nice to you?”

Gina sits up at that, tosses her cigarette to the ground before standing up, “I’m gonna go home.”

“Wait— Gina, I didn’t mean it like that,” Steve stands, following her into the house.

She ignores him, trudging back up the stairs to Steve’s room to retrieve her school bag. He doesn’t let up, footsteps right behind her. When Gina turns to exit the room, he grabs her wrists.

“I know guys like that,” he mumbles, “I used to be one. I’m sure he’s gonna try to get you in bed and I think you’re better than that.”

“I’m a big girl, Steve,” she narrows her eyes at him, “I only sleep with people I like.”

He sighs, pushes his fingers through his hair and nods. “I know… I really just don’t like that guy. I don’t really like that you’re hanging around him.”

Gina scoffs, exaggeratedly looks around his room, “Well I don’t see him here. I came here to spend time with a guy I like.”

“You like me?” Steve asks, his cheeks reddening slightly while his lips curl up.

Gina’s jaw drops, “Is that news to you?”

“Kinda,” Steve replies, chuckling softly.

He places his hands on her hips, leaning down to catch her lips in a soft kiss. As mad as she was two minutes ago, the second he touches her it all melts away. Her arms wrap around his shoulders, standing up on her tip toes to meet his mouth. Steve deepens it and Gina gives in, kisses him for a while before she’s pulling away.

“I really should get home, though,” she whispers.

Steve pouts, wrapping his arms around Gina and squeezing her, “You can’t stay for longer?”

Gina sighs, resting her head on his chest, “Yeah, I gotta get my homework done at some point.”

“I’ll drive ya,” Steve kisses the top of her head.

The ride home is like old times. Steve’s cracking jokes and turning Gina into a puddle of giggles. However the air in the car turns awkward instantly when they’re up the street from Gina’s house and Billy’s pretty Camaro is parked out front. Steve pulls over a block away, nods down the street and asks, “He come over a lot?”

Gina shrugs, “Sometimes.”

Billy’s only been in town a week and he’s been over three times, maybe that is a lot but Gina’s not sure. Steve sighs and puts his BMW in park, he turns to her.

“I’ll see you on Monday. Maybe you can come over again,” he tells her, looking a little deflated.

“I’d like that,” Gina smiles, leans over the center console and gives Steve a quick kiss. “Bye.”

She grabs her backpack and opens the door, walking the short block to her house. She turns to see Steve make a u-turn and head back towards Loch Nora. Inside, her house is quiet. She can see Tommy, Billy and Carol sitting out on the back patio. Her parents must be at Bridgette’s tumbling class. Gina sets her backpack in her room and wanders out back to meet the other teens. Tommy and Carol are messing around in the grass, so Gina walks up next to Billy. He reaches in the cooler and hands her a beer.

“Who is he?” he asks, taking a swig from his own can.

“What do you mean?” she asks, knitting her eyebrows together.

“I can always tell when a woman’s just had an orgasm,” Billy quips, smirking at the small freckled girl.

Gina’s cheeks heat up and she can feel her eyes water in embarrassment, so she quickly opens the can of Miller Light and takes a long drink of it. She swallows hard, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure ya do,” he chuckles, turning to her. “You’ve got all the markers. Messy hair, swollen lips, glassy eyes, you’re walking kinda funny. Plus you seem happier than usual. So who is he?”

Gina’s been caught. She didn’t know it could look so obvious. She smiles softly, thinking about the sex with Steve, “I’m not telling you.”

Billy frowns, “That embarrassing?”

Gina gapes, quite the opposite. She’d love to scream from the rooftop that she was just in bed with Steve Harrington. But Tommy might actually murder her.

“No,” she huffs, “No one would believe it anyways.”

Billy raises an eyebrow, looks her up and down before he laughs, “The King?”

“No!” she denies, her eyes widening, “Absolutely not.”

“That’s fucking funny. Tommy would kill you, huh?” Billy retorts, chewing on his bottom lip.

“It’s not Steve,” she presses, bringing her drink back up to her lips.

Billy sucks his teeth before reaching for his pack of Marlboros, “Don’t worry. Secrets safe with me, darlin’.”

[teresalace]

🥵The Bastard Takes You Home (Courtin Cowboys the bastard x G.N Reader)

• Words: 4.2k

• Triggers: Usage of word Member, non consensual humping, In the woods, Minor spoilers, Ditzy reader

Author notes: WHere's the bastard x reader fics at?🍳👄🍳Back from My long ass hiatus and now it's studying season for abit, going to work on unfinished stuff for yall, hope you enjoy guys! (tho this isn't the most satisfactory story I've written so far personally 🥴🥴 Or maybe I wasn't in the mood anymore) As always, minors beware AND SUPPORT @ffishstickks COURTIN COWBOYS!!!

~~~~

It's 1863 and you're on a journey with an old friend to the western town of Summerfair.

Luckily or not for your incredibly charming friend, they managed to win every heart from left, right and center while you were settling down and becoming a decent inn's cook. Last thing you heard from your dear friend, landing themselves in some love scuffle before ending up with a dopey shepherd, was having an all lovey dovey time in that barn. . . 

The clink of a beer infront of you pulled you from your thoughts, full and chilly when you grabbed it.

Downing it immediately, the noisy world around you came bubbling back to life. The bar, ever so lively with patrons chatter and piano tunes, made you feel less alone. 

"Thanks bartender," you smiled with a bright buzz, "I'll cook you up something good next time for the free drinks." HIC.

You stood from the bar seat. A solemn head nod from the bartender bids you farewell.  

Out of the saloon you went, a pleasant buzzing throughout your body, still in the middle of the quiet town.

Just as you walked a step to balance yourself, something below stopped you. Looking down at the ground by your shoe, you couldn't believe it!

You picked up the 100 coin pieces, quickly pocketing it into your pouch and gave it a pat. A cheerful smile making it's way on your derpy face.

What a good omen! 

Maybe it could mean it's time for you to find somebody to spend the rest of your days with. Good omens don't always come your way. 

.   .   .

Hah, what funny things were you thinking now, the sun has barely set. 

The loneliness must've begun to sink in after overhearing a married patron brag about one of the multiple lovely times he's had in the saloon. Oh how suddenly you wished to be living in those romantic stories, to be the one held sweetly underneath moonlight and stars. 

It would be so nice, you thought wistfully.

In your slightly drunken walk down town, head high in the clouds, you smacked right into a charming familiar face who you haven't seen in a while of a week.

"(Name)! Great timing, I've got so much to tell you– What are you doing daydreaming outside the inn– you'll get all sweaty and red." Not waiting another second or for a response, they dragged your bubbly-self into the shelter of the inn. 

Your body felt cooler already, calming you down as both you and your friend plopped on the reception seats. The buzz in your blood slowly going away. 

HIC. 

"Thanks, buddy," you pushed down an incoming burp from ruining whatever you wanted to say. "Thought you were busy loving that Shepherd."

"I was, just LAST night." They chuckled, looping their arm around yours. "But never too busy to visit my dearest friend, so tell me, what's gotten you looking so glum? I hope this town hasn't bored you yet." Oh no this town was the most exciting thing to you since you weren't close to anyone besides your friend and the friendly inn keeper (who provides rare ingredients for your cooking per request), barely boring but then again you were simple to entertain.

The one and only friend loyal enough to stay with you through hard times while disappearing into thin air when not needed. The friend you needed right now to make a life-changing decision, drunk as can be.

HIC.

"I've been wanting to settle down you know. Maybe in this town or the next one, I don't wanna keep–" A large burp from your guts interrupted your heart-to-heart talk.

"Burping?" Your friend teasingly finished the sentence.

"–Being alone after a long day."  You breathed out a sigh as they watched, sobering up slowly. "It sounds nice enough to imagine having somebody to go back home to." You hoped you didn't sound ungrateful to them but it just isn't the same anymore, you couldn't always rely on your friend for emotional support. Both of you knew that. 

A short pause. 

Giving their earnest attention to you, your dear friend pulled your hands into their lap and held them. "I truly hope you find what you're looking for, (Name), take  your time and see what or who life can surprise you with!" 

When they comfort you like this and talk sweetly, it's no surprise they've got the whole town smitten for them in an instant. Even though you were generally known as their best friend, it still came with some advantages– free drinks sometimes– and more if the time of day was right. You were proud to have a wonderful friend like them and hope to have an equally amazing partner too. 

Wishing that day came sooner.

"(Name)," their voice brought you back to earth and to a pair of concerned eyes. "I think you need to down a cup of water or two, you must've had too many drinks." 

Smiling unashamedly, "only one but guilty." Your answer was followed by a snort response from them. 

Your friend's eyes twinkled like an idea popped in. "I'll tell you what, after you have some water, why don't we go fishing together? Might as well when the weather is lovely and the sun is still out." You took a brief minute to think. Fishing wasn't the most fun activity, you've tried before and preferred to buy your fishy ingredients from the market but with your friend as company? It started sounding not too bad of a plan.

"Hmm. Alright, let's do it," you agreed, shrugging. What could possibly go wrong other than feeling boredom and being sprayed with water or slapped by some fins if unlucky. They cheered loudly and shook your hands together in theirs, earning a glance from the ever-smiley handsome inn keeper.

"Don't you worry, it'll be fun!" They grinned enthusiastically, getting to their feet and pulling you up along. "A warning, you'll need some patience and a strong grip because some of those fishes are slippery fellows." Too late to back out now when you heard that. 

"Great. I could use a challenge now and then," was what you said until both you and your practically beaming friend left the inn, following the forest path and arriving at a creek they discovered in the woodside of the town. 

Fresh minty breezes, vibrant greenery and shrubs surrounded you in every inch though you didn't expect for the fishing spot to be at an unimpressive small creek. 

"This place is where I usually fish! You can even forage some of them delicious berries if you walk a bit and turn right." They squeal showing you, delighted and setting down their basket full of fishing supplies near the creek edge, not too close to be worrisome.

Its deep and calm blue waters glittered in the sunlight while both you and your friend settled down on the flat grassy patches (that you assume have been made by their many trips here), under the cool shades of the forest. 

Curious, you stared at the creek then asked them. "If you've been fishing here a lot of times then there's no way there'd be any fish left, right?" They turned their head to face you, giggling as if you said something funny, pointing to the basket.

"You'll see, (Name). Just give it a try and wait, this town never seems to run short of anything. Really." That felt like they weren't referring to the fish anymore but something else entirely you couldn't understand. 

Moving on from that before the small talk ate away the remaining time before sunset, you and them began unpacking stuff, each person equipped with a sturdy, metal fishing pole in both hands. Looking back at the waters then to the wriggling worm on the hook of your fishing pole, some part of you doubted this would work and be a waste of time. 

Sure you couldn't see through into those unclear waters but could there really be fish swimming in there? 

The answer, a shocking yes with a side of boots and weeds. 

No kidding patience was important, you fished more junk than actual fish whereas your friend beside you managed to capture the most. 

"Really wasn't expecting this much fish, wow," you exclaimed at the sight of the bucket full to the brim with a colorful variety of fish, some you've never seen before in all your years of cooking. 

"What did I tell ya?" They set side their fishing pole, grinning, barely a drop of sweat on their shining face.

"You were right." 

"Psh, of course I'm right," they teased, leaning against a tree. "Told you to go exploring the town some time, there's plenty of surprises to experience. But a word of caution, don't go exploring at night. There's nothing much to see than maybe a pervert here and there doing their business."

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind."

Everything was peaceful, with your friend relaxing beside the full bucket, you laid on your side on the soft cool grass, bare feet pointed towards the creek. 

"Remind me to bring more buckets next time we go fishing," you slurred, lips slowing down in movement.

"Hah, will do, (Name)." Their giggles fading into the breezes.

Gentle rustling of bushes lulled you to doze away and drape your eyes from the world, no longer hearing the shrills from the birds overhead. 

It felt like nothing could ruin this perfect day. So you decided to fall asleep, waving off your persistent friend to go on back without you, trusting that they would leave some fish behind for tonight. Though fishing alone wasn't fun, they were right about the weather being lovely, almost too lovely to not take a nap.  .  .

Unfortunately the short nap you originally intended for, lengthened to an hours long coma. Only when the sudden burst of froggy croaks and loud crickets chirp disturbed your sleep, did you realize the sun had been replaced by the brightest full moon. 

You hugged your form, waves after waves of chills beginning to settle in your bones. 

That was one dangerous nap, to be waking up at near midnight in the woods. Nope, you got to head back to the inn and fast.

Rustle. Rustle.

Instinctively you held your breath, paused in the middle of pushing yourself off the bitter-cold ground. It could just be the wind? Or an insect hopping about. Yeah, yeah it must be. 

Convincing yourself that it was nothing, no, it had to be nothing, was a tough feat but somehow you managed to carefully get up. 

The tip of your shoes accidentally kicking over something nearby, oh- it was the bucket of fish! How nice of your friend to not leave you without some company. 

It was too dark though, you put aside the urge to bring along the bucket and opted to only placing it in your spot. Hope the fishes wouldn't spoil at sunrise. 

Then off you went, towards the inn.  .  .

There was a small problem in your navigation skills when everywhere you turned to appeared to have the same vaguely shaped trees, it was black as the night sky above too but fortunately you walked out of the creek area. 

You think the hard ground beneath your shoes feel familiar, that is, until mud and softer patches of soil messed with your senses. Great, you stood there in silent frustration.

Maybe you should've explored the woods like your friend suggested before as now you surely were lost. Not that it was their fault for leaving you behind. 

Rustle.

.   .   .

RUSTLE. RUSTLE. 

Louder now, you heard it, the rough shaking of bushes close by. Your heart pounded. 

That wasn't nothing. 

Loud enough to freeze you in place, just as you looked in the source's direction– 

Something heavy tackled you to the ground from behind, the side of your face smashing against dirt and mud as that thing landed on your back.

–Oh no, bear. A huge bear in these woods and no warning signs in sight about it?! Your friend would've told you, scratch that, would've not even mentioned fishing had there been a wild animal–

"Grrrrr." 

Hot air fanned the nape of your neck as it sniffed you over like you were its next meal. 

Frozen and taking in shallow breaths, your mind was focusing too hard on the sharpness of its talons pressing against your arms. Almost warning you to stay still, not that you could successfully struggle against its monsterous weight before being crushed to death.

Wait, did bears know how to cage people? 

"Grrrr," its breath leaned down and edged the curve of your ears. Please get it over with, you were awaiting, hopeful for, a quick and painless death at this point.

Panting over you, in the silver of moonlight you caught a side-glance at the wild animal or at what you initially assumed to be that had you pinned down. 

It was no animal but a humongous bare chest man, canines glinting as he grinned down at you.

Long shaggy pitch black hair that resembled fur than human hair, earthy toned skin that faded to an inky black down his forearms. 

Was half of his body covered in mud? 

Ah, your neck ached from trying to get a better view of him. Surely even a beast of a man like himself would help if you explained yourself, right? 

"Uh– excuse me, sir." Huffing, he dragged his gaze from your body to your eyes as you managed to turn your face with small relief. 

"I uh just went fishing and lost my way from the pathway to town, could you please help?" It never hurt to attempt for anything but you had a moment of regret as the stretching silence that followed was less than helpful. 

His claws, or sharp nailed hands, shifted from your holding down your arms and now dug into the sides of your waist. Maybe he didn't intend for it to be painful but his weight wasn't one bit comfortable.

"Heh." 

Low and rusty, the beast, ops you meant, man let out a gut-busting laugh before removing his weight on top of you. Finally you could gasp for a lungful of air, for how long you laying there for the former freezing soil under you felt warm. 

The man hadn't spoken anything but It must be a good sign! 

"Oh thank you, sir!" Just as you gathered strength to push yourself up, a big hand forced you down hard. Admittedly it wasn't your first time dealing with an unexpected kissing to the ground. 

Thankfully none of the mud or dirt made in your mouth but why on earth did he? 

"Uh sir, weren't you going to let me go?"

A mightier growl escaped from him, showing teeth this time around, scaring you in place as your voice gave out. Again. 

In that second, you remembered this man was no friend, a practically nude stranger who roamed the woods, clearly not dressed to make any good impression. But at least you were given some breathing room, so he wasn't evil. You think. 

Another low growl, this one directly over your head. 

Staying silent became the best option. 

He must've sensed something changed as the sound of him sniffing you grew louder, stopped, and with an unimaginable swiftness you heard an audible long rip in your outfit. 

Chilly air instantly flooded the areas where fabric used to be, your skin felt sensitive. Your eyes flew wide, more opened and shocked, heart trembling at the noise.

RIPPPPPPP. 

Another long tear by no doubt his claws. Oh no no no, your poor overalls, your trousers! 

Your thoughts sizzled, face flushing when his claw-like hands ran down your exposed skin, like in search of something– 

The jingle of coins startled you. No, oh no, he was aiming for your money all along! 

In horror, you watched as he picked a few coin pieces out of your pouch and pocketed it somewhere, tossing your still full pouch away out of the moonlight.

Your fear changed to actual frustration. The nerve of him! To be robbing you in broad moonlight, why, you ought to teach him a lesson and give him a good head smacking. . . If only he didn't have his hand and knee pressing down on your back.

 .  .   .

Wait a second, you felt his knees shift near your legs. Then finally in your delayed mind, you came to a terrifying realization that the hard thing pushing against your lower back was most likely a gun– 

"Uh sir! Please let me get up, surely you're satisfied?" You spoke in a pleasing tone, trying to move a tiny bit under his body weight. Heart thumping.

 He had better be satisfied after taking a piece of your precious money. 

He didn't move off you. Still staying there on top of you, sniffing? Looking around the moonlit forest as if he had forgotten your existence being squashed beneath him. The cold ground painfully pebbling your nipples against the ground, evident of how long you had been in that darn position.

"H-Hey! Could you please get off–" Something hot and stiff poked at your waistline, long and harder than any boulder. He shifted his body or must've crouched over you as his gigantic shadow covers you whole.

The hard poking grew in size and so did the fear in your heart. Wait, how did you even feel that, this almost entirely nude man has no pockets to carry a gun, it didn't feel metallic in the slightest so what was poking you– Oh.

Oh dear no.

Don't look down, don't look down– 

"GRRR." Oh what was he growling about this time?! He already took your money, what else was he going after now. You stilled.

Then he began moving it, slowly rubbing his hardness in that one spot below your lower back. Like he didn't know what he was doing but you weren't going to correct him. 

Already uncomfortable just lying there being used as some scratching post for an animalistic man who robbed you not so long ago. . . Wait, in this position, a strong heat radiated from his lower body and grew closer and closer- 

He began rubbing himself on you, soft as if testing the waters at first than harder. Vigorously humping himself against your exposed buttocks, warming up the cool skin and pressing you into the earth further. 

Breathless and at a lost for words, you shivered while struggling to stay put. Heart wildly beating in your chest like it was screaming for help, so loud you'd think the entire forest could hear it. 

He wouldn’t hear it, he kept going, the hardness of his member cutting into you and you felt it.

A slimy slick spreading across your bottom, thick globs of heaviness sliding down and sending tingles in between your thighs. The tingles grew everywhere, and you became aware of a throbbing, not from the man’s flesh, but yours, as if your body was enjoying this terrible torment forced on you. 

Please let it end. 

He would slow down to your momentary relief, only to speed up at an alarming rate and burn you from behind, skin to skin. The smell of the earth and everything became a blur.

The rumour of the beast in the woods was no exaggeration, like an animal he wouldn’t stop pleasuring himself on you and all the while you silently prayed for it to end as it felt like hours had gone by like this. 

Kept going and going, barely any drop of sweat on him all the while you felt like you were being cooked from the inside out, sticky, clammy skin, and out of breath.

The persistent throbbing, hot and needy, inside of you couldn’t cease to stop craving. . . Touch, any kind of touch to relieve this ugly tension fully other than being kneaded into the ground. After this ordeal you were going to ask the pretty saloon lady for help, you won’t be able to last another night without some help.

Finally his rubbing slowed down, hardness swelling impossible hot against your ass and as if his throat was caught on a fishing hook- a deep grunt expelled from his chest and like dread, you felt it, almost a bucket load of slime spilled over you, your hips and down your thighs.

"Now could you move, please?!" That must've sounded more aggressive than you intended it to be but it worked, he crawled off you but the stickiness remained. Before you could muster up the energy to give him a piece of your mind, he slowly growed before bolting into the shadows. 

You were alone again, thank goodness.

Sluggishly, you rolled onto your side, flinching at the disgusting globs of slime slide off of you and pool underneath. Taking a moment to rest and mostly to catch your breath, lungfuls of air expanding your chest, feeling crumbs of soil stuck to your skin. The moon was blinding you by the second the longer you stayed there in the open. . . Exhaustion and the cold lulled you to almost dozing off but it was too dangerous out here, you slowly rose, grabbing your pouch of money, swaying like a brittle leaf in the wind as you walked on the path back town. 

.  .  . 

Maybe because you hadn’t been seen by them in a while, your friend instantly burst out of the inn and instantly spotted you, supporting your weight and walking you to the bathroom as you confided in them about the attack.

“How horrible! What a disgusting thief,” your friend spat while helping you change out of the torn pieces of fabric that used to look like an outfit as you quickly covered yourself, hiding the slime on your skin from being seen. They continued ranting, dissatisfaction written all over their face. “I’ve had the same experience weeks ago, it’s always the money that they want. I even told the sheriff about it but there’s been no news yet, shucks.” 

You nodded agreeing, not that you told them exactly all the details but enough to draw the conclusion that you’ve been unwillingly robbed. Worried about you, your friend promised to stay the night and went to visit the sheriff to give your account. The innkeeper was a trustworthy fellow who wouldn’t let any criminal in.

After a long, long much needed bath, the heat within your body eased down to a tolerable simmer, especially places where that beast’s release reached. Like where your holes twitched and- Ah, stop you shouldn’t be thinking of that! Huffing out a frustrated sigh, you stomped past a mirror into your room, not feeling brave enough to take a look at your no-doubt reddened face.

It felt like heaven being comforted by your dear friend and sleeping together in the same bed, your curiosity popped out again- wondering what became of that beastman- if just giving the sheriff a report was enough for his capture. Maybe you should do something, see if you could mark a spot in the woods where that man would visit, it would be a ton better than waiting around for good news. Right! 

Determination filled your blood and forced you onto your feet, heart thumping fast in almost excitement.

The moment you stepped out of the inn, it felt like a terrible idea. With no plan in mind, you snuck away from your snoring friend in bed and proceeded on the moonlit path towards the dreadful forest. 

You heard a hurt groan before you saw the source. A man who should’ve already fallen dead, the naked beast with a weapon deep in their forehead spilling blood. Black blood trailing down his rough face, dripping onto the ground. 

Witnessing something incomprehensible had you rooted to the spot, it was a scene out of those horror tales your gram would tell to get you and the other children to sleep, of a monster impossible to defeat. You should've never curiously followed a beast of the woods. Now you would never be able to escape his territory, entirely roamed by him. How could you even attempt to stop him from carrying you when you see not even a dagger lodged in his forehead deterred him from staying alive. 

Could you call him a beast? He sniffed the air like one.

Even beasts can be killed but not this man. 

He froze like he heard or smelt something.

What was far worse than a beast is an unkillable one, and worse than that- was a beast who has found its prey. You. 

It didn’t take long for you to sprint away out of instinct but it was too late, he had seen you, and with one long arm he caught you mid-air and carried you on one broad shoulder, whimpering and struggling to no avail. Deeper into the woods where you’d never be able to escape, where only wisps of light and fireflies lit the mornings and darkness reigned the rest of time to come. 

Deep below the neck of the woods, rumours of the dangerous beast have now changed due to the rare sightings of him not only alone- there was another one who stood by his side, a beast more humane looking yet scared and equally as nude. No one dared to overstay in the woods anymore, not wishing to join those monsters or become their next meal.

~~~~~~~~~~