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msookyspooky · 3 years

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Random Headcanon's for the Scream Character's

Billy really was a normal sweet kid and a good boyfriend before his mom left. Everyone paints him as always being crazy and his mom just triggered him but I honestly don't think that's true. Sidney and her parents would not have been okay with her dating a bad boy from Sophomore year onward. Sure it happens and maybe she saw past it but If Sidney would have seen how Billy acted with Randy in the videostore; instant break up imo. He could not have hid that side of himself for two years straight. Remember, they were dating a whole year prior to Maureen cheating. My theory is he may or may not have had a 'side' to him or other undiagnosed disorder in his gene pool (Mrs Loomis snapping too.) but Billy's psychotic breakdown was mostly situational + groomed by Roman and there were other things in his life that probably were boiling over and Debbie leaving him completely broke him. So, he was in an extremely vulnerable state when Roman came around and molded him. THAT is why Sidney trusted him so much in Scream before the phone incident and even somewhat after. Because Billy was a good boyfriend before her mom's murder and she would have never suspected it. Now how her or no one else could see him tumbling into madness or at least deep depression before Roman sank his talons in is beyond me. Maybe she did and he shrugged her off? Either way, the situation made him shut down all empathy towards other people and changed him. His empathy is towards his mom, possibly his dad since Hank never died and that is it. He has symptoms of a psychopath and even though that is usually genetic I 100% think a psychotic breakdown could do it as well.(Don't come for me bitch I'm not trained in any of this just using what I know from research 🧍‍♀️) If his mom never left and Roman didn't come along; Billy would have never been a killer

Contrary to Billy's situational psychological crazyness. Stu was always going to kill. I don't even think it's is he a sociopath vs a psychopath argument as much as he is just disconnected from reality. (Though he would most likely be a Sociopath if he was bc of his lack of boundaries as well impulsive behavior. Thinking killing was a game.) Stu possibly suffered abuse as a child. He was terrified of his parents more than the law. Either A. They abused him and permanently terrified him. Or B. He really has a stunted mentality and thinks of killing as a game and fears his parents more than the law bc the consequences are just not clicking LIKE A KID. He's like a giant little kid with no sense of how things work. He still could have been abused and that is what stunted his growth mentally. However, his violent tendacies were always there. Never preplanned just urgent anger or sadistic glee he couldn't control. Billy just suggested the killings and he was instantly down. Like, hell yeah cool. Most ppl no matter what mental illness they have or how severe are not that easy to convince. Whose to say he hadn't killed before or was planning to? My theory is he is so disconnected from reality that killing really is a giant fun game to him and he would have eventually murdered someone even without Billy.

Idk why this isn't more thought of throughout the fandom. Billy and Stu did not rape Maureen bc the evidence would have pointed to someone other than the guy they were framing. Cotton Weary had sex with Maureen, left, Billy and Stu taunted her on the phone and lured her away, they killed her, police suspected rape bc A. they didn't know about the affairs. B. Cotton's semen or her discharge or bruising being there. They naturally assumed it was rape but in actuality no one raped her. Cotton's dna from their affair incriminated him even more. Not saying that Billy and Stu would think of rape as morally wrong enough not to do in their book BUT it would have been stupid on their part and made it obvious there were other suspects besides Cotton.

Stu isn't a lapdog. Stu literally revealed on the phone he was going to throw Billy under the bus. He hesitated giving him the knife. Stu is like a kid. He most likely suffered trauma that regressed his mental age. He's eager to please, desperate for attention and most likely fawns over people he feels close to in an obsessive way. He could have even been in love with Billy and vice versa which is why he was so eager to please him. However, he was not nearly as stupid or a lapdog as much as the fandom makes him out to be. I think Randy saying it in the videostore sealed the deal for people even though he was only acting like that bc he was helping Billy too and covering their tracks. Billy was the one with the plan. Stu just tagged along out of the urge to kill. But he 100% had his own plan to kill and bail if needed. My mind is made up on that.

There was a third killer in Scream and it wasn't a teen or Roman. You're telling me two 17-18 yr old guys could come up with every detail? Roman only told Billy the basics. How did they get tactical police shoes? How did they get to the houses so fast and leave just as quickly? How did they both take down and restrain Steve or Neil by themselves enough to tie them up? Sure, Stu was deranged and tall but these two lanky teens were able to take on a football player with muscles and a grown man? Possible but stil meh to me. Their plan was too thorough for two teen boys to come up with on their own. Both crazy. One completely unhinged and disconnected from reality and the other so blinded by revenge he was stupid at times. (Fucking stabbing yourselves before killing Neil and Sidney. Not even thinking to AT LEAST tie Sidney up as well...Really? Jill was smarter in 4 in that respect tbh.) I truly think their was an adult involved in Scream helping them or guiding them. I would say Roman if it wasn't for him going back to Hollywood. But Billy and Stu had help DURING the killings 100%.

Randy is not this mecha survival final boy like the fandom thinks. The kid watched one too many horror movies and based them on real life. Scream itself is making fun of slasher movies and Randy was supposed to be the narrator setting most of the dumb rules up into play. Everyone is like "omg that's so out of character how he died in 2" no its not. If the rules work then him losing his virginity did him in. He was drinking, he was pissed off and not thinking. Plus Mrs. Loomis attacked in broad daylight, something no one thought of. (And the whole debate how a middle aged woman could pull him in. LOOK. Randy is a fucking small guy and she grabbed him backwards, using momentum to haul him back into the van. PLUS she was enraged at what he said about Billy. Adrenaline is a hell of a super drug as far as testing the bodies limits. I have seen tiny girls become the hulk when they are pissed I'm jus sayin) Point is, Randy was just a teen boy that loved horror movies. He was not some survival guide especially since it showed him even on the couch not aware of Ghostface behind him. He was a giant satire showing how even he didn't always follow the rules of slasher movies and how dumb the rules are.

Tatum loved Sidney and had more chemistry with her than Billy. I am not saying they weren't just BFF's and I don't want to ruin female friendship with constantly thinking "omg they are gay together" any time two women are close. BUT it is strange that it was only those two as friends especially since Sidney didn't fit into Tatum's popular social circle. It's like Tatum went out of her way to be friends with Sidney. Maybe they were childhood friends and that's why? But I think it's entirely possible that just like it's speculated that Stu and Billy were secretly in love; Tatum possibly was at least bi and in love with Sidney.

#idk just getting random headcanons out there.#scream #headcanons

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glitxhwayventeen · 3 years

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Lonely Hearts Club

Seokmin: Chapter 2 (The Heart Wants What It Wants)

Characters: Seokmin x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), bondage (sort of anyways?), pet names, creampie, squirting, dirty talk, angst, fluff, potential blood mentions, genocide mentions, mental illness (depression implied), sexual mentions, mentions of death, violence mentions. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: I had the thought to use the song The Heart Wants What It Wants by Selena Gomez for this chapter. Don’t ask me why. I just did. And I’m too sick to change it so here it is.

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

Slight 🥀 but mostly just pure 💋tbh

Lonely Hearts Club Master Club

Chapter 2: The Heart Wants What It Wants

“Come on Sol! Hurry up! By the time we get there it’ll be dark!” Seokmin complained to the younger wolf, wanting to reach their destination as quickly as possible.

“Aya! I’m moving as fast as I can. You ever think that maybe you’re just a little TOO excited to go see her?” Hansol smirked as he sped up his movements slightly to appease his brother.

It was true, they both knew it. Hell, at this point, Seokmin was sure you’d even realize that he had been counting the seconds before he could come see you again. It had been five days. FIVE DAYS. He felt like he was going crazy without you. His pack tried to cheer him up as best as they could, Jihoon even asked if he wanted to wrestle around outside with him, something Jihoon had hated more than anything. But still, he wanted to do nothing other than sit in front of the window and wait the minutes out till he could see your beautiful face again. Since he met you, he’s never wanted anything more than to spend time with you. And you being gone… well that made it impossible. So you could say he was just a TAD too eager to get back to you…

“Shut up and just- just hurry up would you!” Seokmin growled, slightly out of annoyance that the younger wolf was taunting him and slightly because he had been taking away his newly promised time with you.

It was bad enough he had him carry all the supplies he needed in his backpack, now he was slowing him down too. It was exhausting.

“Geez, you sure are grumpy now. What’s gotten a mate done to you hyung?” Hansol chuckled gently while poking fun at his brother innocently, knowing full well that he was actually being quite tame compared to what most mated wolves would’ve done without seeing their significant other for as long as he had.

“Nothing! I just- I just want to see her is all! You don’t understand. You don’t have a mate yet!” Seokmin groaned while hiking his way up the start of the mountain your cave was located in. He didn’t even have to try to remember how to get there like Hansol did, he could sense you, it was one of the reasons he agreed to bring him along even though he knew it was most likely annoy you.

“Pfff. You’ve had a mate all of five minutes and you’re already acting like you’re a love expert. You’re a piece of work you know that? I didn’t even have to let you come with me today. I fought with Seungcheol Hyung to get him to let you tag along. Don’t make me regret it yeah?” Hansol rolled his eyes, trudging along right behind his older impatient brother. He felt for him, he really did. He couldn’t imagine what he’d do in his situation, but he wasn’t about to let Seokmin be a dick to him just because he hasn’t seen you in a week. Surely it couldn’t be THAT hard for him to be less of an asshole.

“Look- I’m sorry okay? I just…” Seokmin halted his actions of climbing up a rocky trail before he turned to his friend, “Its bad enough she doesn’t love me. But with her not loving me AND being gone for almost a week, it feels like- like all my insides have been scooped out and… and I can’t find them anymore. I feel like an empty shell.” He continued, “But I know that if I could just- if I could just see her again, all of it would just heal over and I’d be happy to wake up in the morning again. So I NEED to see her, okay?” Seokmin gripped his hair tightly, partly in frustration and partially in defeat.

He wasn’t even sure what would happen when you’d see him again. You could really just slap him and tell him you never wanted him in your presence again. But he HAD to try, he NEEDED to smell your sweet scent again. He HAD to look at your angelic face again. He felt like he was gonna explode if he didn’t.

“I don’t know what’ll happened if I don’t. And trust me when I say, you don’t want to find out.” He finished as he started his trekking back up, leaving his brother taken aback by his sudden exposed fragility.

“It’s okay. I get it, I mean, I may not have a mate, but I’m not an idiot. We can all see how it’s killing you not to be around her man. She’ll come around. Don’t worry. It all just takes some time. Especially after everything that’s happened to her.” Hansol assured as he sat his hand on Seokmin’s shoulder in a comforting manner, causing the older wolf to smile at him in gratitude.

“Thanks Sol. I hope you’re right. Because I’m gonna start worrying for my sanity if so have to wait much-” Seokmin suddenly stopped speaking mid-sentence once he sensed that something was… different about you as they had gotten close enough to your den for him to feel you.

“Hyung? You good? Is everything alright-” Hansol tried while waving his hand in front of his brother’s zoned out face.

Seokmin quickly grabbed his hand and pushed it away before growling, “You need to leave.”

“Leave? What do you mean leave? We have to check on (Y/N) remember?” Hansol laughed aloud, attempting to start his walking back up.

Seokmin wraps his hand around Hansol’s wrist and spun him around to look at him.

“No. I’ll check on her. You need to go back to the house and make sure no one else comes up here. Got it?” He lets out, tightening his grip on the young boys arm without even realizing it.

“Seokmin, what the hell? Why on Earth would I do that? I have to help her-” Hansol tried to reason and attempted to break the hold he had on his wrist.

When Hansol met Seokmin’s eyes, he could see that they had turned blood red. He jumped back slightly, startled at his brother’s sudden mood shift.

“No. I’m the only one that’s allowed to help her the way she is. You need to leave. Now.” He growled as he released his hand from Hansol’s limb and started to continue walking to your den.

“And DON’T wait up for me.” He declared to the younger wolf, leaving him standing there stunned in his spot as he watched him stomp up towards the cave’s opening.

You had been pulling and pulling to no avail. You needed out. You felt like you were a living flame that needed to be put out. You moved your hips a little too quickly one way, causing a small whimper to emit from your lips. You were too fucking sensitive. Everything hurt.

“And you didn’t think to tell me that this-” Seokmin surprised you as he gestured around your cave, “Was your important business?” He chuckled out as he knelt down beside you.

Before he walked into your cave, he could already feel the change in your energy, he wasn’t sure what it was exactly. But he just knew he didn’t want ANYONE ELSE but him to see you in your current state. Red flags went off in his head the second Hansol stepped even one foot too close to the vicinity of your cave. He got territorial without even knowing why he didn’t want anyone else around you.

Now that he had actually entered your cave, he understood why. You were against the farthest rock wall from the opening. You were wearing nothing but your small green tank top and a pair of lacy panties. Your hair was damp against your skin, your lips were chapped, and you had a thin layer of sweat adorned on your glowing skin. You were growling out in frustration. Chains laid above your head, your wrists tightly held in place as you winced in pain. Not from trying to get out of your restraints, but from the obvious discomfort between your legs. Your panties had, at this point, been completely soaked through, the wetness clear to anyone who would have dared to witness your display.

That’s when he understood why you had been trying so hard to get away from him: you were in heat. You needed to run away so you wouldn’t go crazy around his pack. So you came back to your den to ride it out. Alone. Even though you had a mate.

“I thought you would’ve figured it out by now” you respond, lolling your head to the side from exhaustion with a seductive smirk on your face. Heat was truly fucking horrible chained to a wall. And now that Seokmin was here, it was like the Gods had finally answered your prayers for release. You HAD to have him and you had to have him right then and there.

“Help me- Please!” you whined out, tugging on your chains hard hoping he would get what you were hinting at.

“I don’t think taking them off you is a good idea. Who knows what you’d do” Seokmin replied before he took off his pack and pulled a rag out from the biggest pocket.

He drenched it in one of your buckets of water and placed it on your scorching head, you hissed at the feeling of something so cold having touched your flaming skin.

You let out a dry chuckle before responding, “You. I’d do you. Now help me out of these. Please.” You begged, eyes turning emerald green at the thought of finally getting your neediness taken care of by the man in front of you.

“(Y/N)- I- I don’t think you understand what you’re asking.” He attempted to reason with you, trying his absolute best to remain unaffected by your current state.

But it was hard. You were half naked, chained to the wall in heat, pleading with him to help you. And God, did he want to help you. Every instinct in him was telling him to ravage you and make you his.

“I know exactly what I’m asking you to do. Please Seokmin- It hurts! Please take my pain away. Please!” You groaned out as you shook your chains in impatience, “Don’t you want to help me?” You questioned him with an innocence face, but your eyes couldn’t have been more dirty. Fuck. You were gonna kill him with that mischievous little glint in your eyes.

“I- I do. But I cant. (Y/N), you’ll regret it if I help you that way. The best I can do is-” His sentence broke as you rubbed your foot against the crotch of his jeans, causing a cut off hiss to expel from his lips, “Is- is help you ride it out by taking care of your symptoms.” He stuttered as he denied you, it was taking everything he had to hold himself back from attacking your lips. You were making everything EXTREMELY hard for him. Literally.

But he knew you’d be upset with him if he did what you wanted him to do right now. He’d be taking advantage of your vulnerable state. That’s not how he wanted his first time with you to go. Or anytime with you for that matter. He wanted you to be fully aware of what would be happening and he wanted you to be glad it was taking place because you loved him, not because you were a sex crazed animal in the middle of mating season.

Tears started to form in your eyes and began to slide down your cheeks. You couldn’t take it anymore. He was right there, and touching you, but not in the place you needed him most. It was killing you. The ache between your legs was getting to be too much for you to bare.

“PLEASE SEOKMIN PLEASE! I can’t take this anymore! You’re so close but you’re too far away. I want you to take care of me. Please!” You wailed out, thrashing yourself around as you tried to find some stimulation, hell, ANY stimulation you could get to rub against your heat.

“(Y/N), I can’t. You’re just saying that because you’re going through your mating cycle. If you were thinking normally, you would probably have already pushed me out of your den by now. You don’t want me, you want your pain to go away. And that’s not reason enough for me to break, I’m sorry. ” Seokmin spoke softly, upset that he had to speak his reality into existence.

He wanted you to want him, but he knew that normal you didn’t. Hormone you only wanted him to scratch an itch for you. And as much as his inner wolf was pleading with him to heed to your request, he couldn’t. Not if it meant you’d hate him more afterwards.

“You think I don’t normally want you? Do you know how hard it is to stay away from you? Do you even know what it takes to be as cold towards you as I am? It kills me. I want to be sitting in your lap all the god damn time for fucksakes. All I want to do is get on my knees for you 24 hours of the fucking day and suck your soul out. I want you to hold me down on a bed and fuck the living daylights out of me. I want you to pound me so hard all I know is your name. But it’s just my natural instinct to resist you after everything that’s happened. But PLEASE, I can’t take this anymore. I want you to help me. I NEED you to help me. Please Seokmin?” You yelled out to get his attention with one final plea, looking at him with watery red eyes and a pushed out lip.

He stared you deep in the eyes as he debated what to do. On one hand, he didn’t want you to be remorseful over this. But on the other hand, his cock was already scrapping his jeans because of how aroused your current state had made him. You were ducking dripping onto the cave floor and it was all because of him. It was all FOR him. Oh, fuck it.

He quickly attached his chapped lips to your near bloody ones from biting them to suppress groans, feverishly moving his in an effort to make up for lost time. You whimpered into his mouth and tugged on your restraints, showing him that you wanted them off. He gave you a dirty smirk before he grabbed the key setting juuuust out of your reach and unlocked your chains. Once free, you all but threw yourself at Seokmin, smashing your lips back onto his like your life depended on it. You were gripping his hair roughly while forcing your mouth to his with such force, you could feel your teeth clashing. You had to have him touch you more, you NEEDED him to touch you more.

He stood the both of you up and rid you of your shirt and panties in a flash. Soon, his own articles of clothing were gone and, before you knew it, he was holding you against the cave wall, you legs wrapped around his waist as you grinded against his member for some sweet friction.

He grabbed your hair and forced your head to the side for better access as he started making small love bites up and down your neck and chest. You scrapped your nails through his hair, the little pleasure starting to affect you in ways you had never even dreamed it would. It felt like he was the only thing holding you to earth as you held onto him for dear life, both of you far too gone to care about anything else but the feeling of each other’s touch.

The hand that was still in your hair pulled you to look back at him as he spoke to you with soft eyes, “Are you sure you want this baby? We can stop if you want to. I don’t want to do something you’re not ready for.”

He knew the chances of you wanting to stop while you were in heat were slim to none, but he also knew that you wanted nothing to do with him most of the time. He didn’t want you to be angry with him later. He needed fo be SURE you knew the consequences to what you were asking him to do.

“Yes. I’m sure. Now PLEASE just fuck me before I go crazy. Please!” You replied as you held his hair in a death grip, slowly rubbing your slit against his member. This let him shallowly dip into you and caused a light squeal to emit from your chest.

He positioned himself fully in front of your entrance, giving you a final look, wanting you to give him another form of assurance before he continued with his actions. You nodded your head at him as you pulled him in for a passionate kiss of approval.

He hurriedly buried himself completely inside of you, both of you moaning out from pleasure in the process. A deep growl came from Seokmin’s chest as he dug his face into your neck in an effort to try and hold himself still so you could adjust to his long length. As much as he wanted to start fucking you into the cave wall, he refused to continue until he knew you were comfortable enough to move on.

Soon, you started to rut against him, trying pathetically to get him to move. He got the hint fast and pulled out so that just his tip was barely inside you before he pushed himself back in at full speed. The action had forced all the air out of your lungs and had you grasping for any part of him that was within your reach. He was fucking you brutally against the wall and you felt like you were in Heaven.

“Fuck- you take me so well baby. Like you were made for me. Bet you wanted me to fuck your pretty little pussy since the day we met” He breathed out, causing you to whine in response to his filthy words.

You were so sensitive from the days of being locked away with no satisfaction, your walls were already fluttering around his cock after just a minute or two of him being inside you. The feeling of you clenching around him made his eyes roll to the back of his head from sheer ecstasy. He wasn’t gonna last long, but he was determined to get you there first. You were his main priority. Especially with you being in heat, he was insistent on making you cum first.

“Do I really feel that good?” You asked in choked out breaths and chuckled lightly at his fucked out expression. He had his eyes partially closed and his brows were pushed into a concentrated face, he looked spectacular.

“Baby, you have no idea how good your little cunt feels” he groaned out and pulled you in for another kiss, quickening his pace as he was getting closer to his release.

He halted his actions before he sat you back onto the cave floor and positioned you on all fours. He entered you from behind and started thrusting into you at an inhuman pace. He grabbed your hair and pulled your body to his chest, making your mouth fall open in response to your new position as he moved his hand that was in your hair to your throat. He was sooooo much deeper now, he was hitting your cervix with every movement. You were sure he was gonna break you in two.

You gasped when he hit juuust the right spot inside you, “Fuck! I- I’m so close!” you squealed out, grabbing the hand he had around your throat and squeezing it tightly in an unsuccessful attempt to ground yourself.

“I know baby- fuck! You’re getting so tight around me, like a good little cocksleeve. So fucking perfect.” He darkly chuckled out, still mercilessly thrusting himself into you. He quickly added his other hand down to rub your swollen clit.

“Please- I-I can’t. Fuck! It’s too much I’m gonna-” you said as you tried to push his hand away. The pleasure his hand provided was too much for you, It felt like you were going to explode.

“Shh. It’s alright, I want you to. Go ahead baby, I know you need to. It must’ve been soooo hard going all this time without my dick to help you,” he cooed at you with a seductive smirk, “But You’ve been such a good girl princess. And Good girls deserve to be rewarded. Good girls get to cum on their daddy’s cock” he whispered as he licked up evilly from your collarbone to your ear, still pounding into you so hard you could hardly breathe and still rubbing your clit like it was the last thing he’d ever do.

“But I- You have to stop before I-” just as you were about to finish your sentence, a white wave of euphoria hit you, stopping you dead in your tracks.

“Holy shit” you heard Seokmin say as you started to come down from your high. You had thrown yourself out of his arms and onto your palms, now holding the ground in front of you.

“I made you squirt. Jesus Christ that was so hot baby” He spoke as he tapped his now soaked cock on your plump ass before he slid himself back into your pussy.

You whimpered loudly in response, “No please daddy- it’s too much. I- I cant-” You started to squirm from the overstimulation before Seokmin took your arms and pinned them behind your back with his hand, pushing your upper body to the ground.

“You can take a bit more baby. I know you can. I need to finish still. And It’s only fair that you’re nice to me now that I’ve been so nice to you right princess?” He teased while still pushing in and out of you sloppily to get himself off.

You whined slightly before you started to lazily clench your walls around him, trying to get him there quicker through the pain of your sensitivity. But you started to feel that familiar feeling building back up in your stomach. For most female wolves, their heat would start up their need immediately after relief unless one thing was done…

“Shit baby, I’m close. Where do you want me to cum? I could cum in your pretty little mouth so you can swallow all of me. Or I could paint your sweet ass with my cum so everyone will know you’re my little cock slut. It’s up to you princess” Seokmin gritted out through his teeth, smacking your ass with one hand and using the other one with the grip on your waist to pull you back to him over and over again.

“I- I need you to cum inside me.” You mustered out, already moaning out incoherent sounds from being so close to your own high so soon after your last one.

Seokmin’s rhythm faltered for a moment as he took in what you had just said before he spoke up again, “But baby… are you sure?” He did his best to sound as concerned as he could while he was still balls deep inside you. But fuck, it was hard when all he wanted to do was breed you like the bitch in heat you were.

“Yes. Please! It’ll make it go away for longer. Please! Cum inside me daddy” You all but screamed as he managed to graze your sweet spot.

He wouldn’t normally want to risk something like that, even with his own mate, he’d still want to be sure they were both ready for the possibility of a child in case. But all he could focus on was your tight cunt sucking him in over and over and how he wanted to help you with your heat as much as possible. You asked him to cum inside you. So that’s exactly what he was gonna do.

He threaded his brows together in concentration as he worked his way to his high. You had already started going over the edge for the second time today. Your moans and sounds were music to his ears, so his fangs had elongated. But because he wasn’t sure where you two had stood, he just decided to bite his bottom lip instead to keep himself from marking you.

“Fuck! Be a good little slut and take all of it.” He groaned as he pushed himself as deep into you as he could, emptying his load and releasing his hot thick cum against your walls in the process.

You were both a panting sweaty mess. He pulled out, an action to which you whined from the lack of fullness, and grabbed his shirt to help you clean up. Once you were both clean, he sat down beside you against your wall. You were still panting, but were remarkably quiet

“Are you upset with me?” Seokmin asked looking at his hands, doing everything he could to keep from meeting your gaze that had found him the second he started speaking.

“No I’m not mad at you. What makes you think that?” You answered, your mind still a little groggy and your voice still a little strained from the sex.

“I just figured you would be because we fucked. And then I came- well you know…” he responded, rubbing the back of his neck slightly.

“I’m not mad. Just tired. I asked you to help me and you did. I asked you to cum inside me and you did. So even if I wanted to be mad, I wouldn’t really have the right to be.” You added, hoping to ease his worries slightly while you were trying your best not to nod off to sleep.

“Yeah about that… why did you ask me to-” Seokmin started his sentence before you stopped him, immediately knowing what he was referring to.

“It keeps the need away for longer. Don’t ask me how I know. I just do. And I figured you’d need at least a few minutes before we could go for another round, so it seemed like the most viable option.” You stated matter of factly, running your trembling fingers through your messy hair before you sat them down on your lap.

“Oh. I see.” He said as he started to get visibly nervous. You knew where he was about to go with this sentence too, but you decided you’d let him ask anyways, “so… what does this mean? Are you gonna go back to hating me now?”

“I never hated you to begin with Seokmin. I just- I didn’t want a new mate. After what happened to my old one, it just- it didn’t feel right. So I was cold to you, and it’s not like I felt nothing for you then. I just- didn’t want to. As for the state of our relationship, I’m not really sure what we are myself. But I do know that I don’t want to be mean to you anymore. You never deserved it. You were just trying to love me, you didn’t do anything wrong. But I’m just not sure how good of a mate I’d be to you at the moment. I’ll do my best.” You huffed out earnestly as you turned your entire body to look at him.

He looked exhausted and you knew that that was your fault. But that still didn’t change the fact that you thought he was the most attractive person ever in that moment, still attempting to catch his breath, his hair matted and stuck to his forehead from sweat. He beamed a smile at you.

“I can live with that” he let out as he grabbed your petite hand in his big one and brought it up to his lips for a kiss.

“But why? Why would you want that if it means that you’d have a mate who still wasn’t capable of loving you properly?” You questioned. That thought had been on your mind since the second after he told you he had imprinted on you. Why would he want you if you didn’t even know how to love him?

Seokmin played with your fingers for a moment before he spoke again with a sweet smile that melted your heart, “The Heart Wants What It Wants I guess.”

(Updated 9/8)

#seventeen #seventeen angst #seventeen au #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #svt au #seventeen x reader #svt seokmin #svt dk #dokyeom

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avalonmoonshinesstuff · 3 years

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Sirius or Remus?

Dear Noony,

I have no context (and way too many ask games to check which one this is about) so I'll make this a long-ass post because I just have ✨ thoughts ✨ on these characters.

The topics are:

Who do I ship more with Severus.

Who do I see becoming friends with Severus.

Which character do I prefer more.

Who would win in a fight.

Who would I choose for myself.

Who would I write in my next fanfic.

Who do I see myself getting along with.

Whose counterpart is cooler.

Conclusion.

Who do I ship more with Severus: Now, although I like a good Snupin (love it when Moony recognizes Severus as it's mate), it's Snack/Snirius that steals my heart. It just has that perfect level of angst, enemies to lovers, and love angles (not triangles, I usually dislike them, thanks). Hate sex is amazing too, and the fiction is beautiful. And the weird tingling that the fighting seems like flirting in the back of their minds. And when they're both mutually pining but they think that it's unrequited. And more.

Also, yes, Remus may be more wholesome and might give Sev some therapy (after he gets some himself, of course) but I can't ship a relationship that may have a NPC that's being too giving and a replacement for therapy. Trust me, Remus would drop Sev because of how much he hates himself not being there for him as therapy.

Who do I see becoming friends with Severus: Remus, tbh, even though I'd like to say Sirius. Sirius has an irrational dislike for Severus from the start, while I think Remus just went along with his friends. He's the flow in the moment kind of person (I'm pretty sure he's a February Pisces) and they are kind of NPC characters or they believe they are. Obviously, Remus has to stop having NPC syndrome for him to actually move on from his prejudice against Severus and SEVERELY beg for forgiveness if he wants to be on friendly terms with Severus. Severus (in my opinion) has the capacity to forgive people with time and convincing (as I imagine is the case with McGonagall, who used to favor her Marauders). And Remus has the capacity to work really hard for a goal (as we see when he is spying in the Werewolf camp), to the point that people start questioning his loyalty.

When we see Remus go back to his pregnant wife (I hope he did, I can't remember)... We know that Remus can get over all this and try, at the very least, to be Severus' friend.

Which character do I prefer more: I'd love to say that I prefer none of these because I usually do but... I like Sirius more than Remus (not that I hate Remus). As a Pisces Rising, I get that Remus wanted friends and that he had a serious hindrance stopping him, but the fact that even after everyone is dead and gone... He doesn't reevaluate what he thought of Severus really shows. His behavior towards him, his first lesson, the way he minimized what James and Sirius did even after so long really shows that Remus is very comfortable and in love with the position he is in. I get that its easy to not think critically, but Remus was in a position to bring change. You see, after the job was gone, and Harry came to him asking about James' bullying... Remus should have really taken the chance to talk positively about a fellow order member that Harry would be trusting his life onto (if not for Severus, for Harry's mental health because he was trusting Sev with his life). When I realized that Remus was a Pisces, I felt very offended because I would never not use the power I had for some good (he was prefect) and I couldn't imagine life being as passive and unchanged as Remus was. I guess, in the end, I kinda dislike him for personal reasons... I mean, did this fictional character have to be a Pisces??

No shade on Sirius, I actually do like him, and it's not completely based on how much I kind of dislike Remus. Remus is a gray character and Sirius is the kind of gray that's closer to black. But I love him for it because he didn't have any leadership roles (except as Harry's godfather) that he completely fucked up. Sirius does show change, minimal though it is, he really does. As a teen, he believed in complete evil and complete good. He desperately tried to be completely good, who was James ig. He did become mini James but as an adult, he kind of realizes that James isn't completely good. Obviously, his hate towards Severus is still there; he's still the bully. However, I do think that his redemption from that role was set up when he says that line "the world isn't divided into good people and death eaters". I think (?) this is said around Regulus' sacrifice was found so it was mostly applying to Regulus and not Severus for Sirius. But, in my opinion, Regulus is the appetizer for Severus' redemption. And! Sirius told Harry that he never thought Severus could actually become a death eater, so this feeling multiplies. I see amazing Snirius happening Post war (whether they survive or not doesn't matter, they can get together in the afterlife for all I care). Sirius being the elder brother, having all responsibility on his head, and him breaking through them is really cool (although he didn't break away from two stereotypes: crazy and dark/dark gray). Him never feeling remorse is scary af but brief moments before his death, I did see some spark of redemption there. Above that, more than 10 years of isolation and prison does drive people mad, okay? This man needs some serious therapy (I think I also project some of my BPD onto him).

So, in the end, I like Severus only (I almost never need to project onto him because he's that good) and barely tolerate the others 😅.

Who would win in a fight: My man Remus, plz, he'd win anyday. He did, against Sirius, in canon (POA).

Who would I choose for myself?: Neither for sex, Sirius as my slave coz he'd hate it. (He's fictional) I have a gf so I'm happy everywhere else. All I want is a good slave 🤣. Also, dogs are cool, lol.

Who would I write in my next fanfic?: I have two planned already, but I think I want to write some Severus x male!Reader with background Severus x Remus (onesided, atm).

Who do I see myself getting along with: Neither, really, because I would think that Sirius is too much and Remus too NPC. I do think that I'd be acquainted with Remus because we love libraries and chocolate but our interests would vastly differ and I think it's weird trying to talk to someone new when in a library.

Whose counterpart is cooler: I was going to go with Remus, and I'm still going to go with Renus. I do see the potential in Sirius (change at your will) but from a medical perspective, and muggle too, Remus is way cooler. Potion-making barely (if ever) needs magic and that's what the muggles have. Becoming a Lycanthrope doesn't require a magical core (as far as I'm concerned). Lycanthropy is the kind of magic that muggles are familiar with, a moon-blessed-craziness (it's well documented). If muggles research, they can find a way to make transformations completely painless etc. Muggles can be Lycanthropes but not Animagi so Remus is definitely cooler.

Conclusion: Wow, that was long! Okay, in the end, I think they were both complex characters who each had their redeemable qualities. Gray af, too, as most of HP characters are. Too bad, I only like Sev and those who I think matches well with him (he is the bar and if anyone is beneficial to him, only then will I like them).

It's the mentally ill character for me!! Sirius wins!!

Thanks so much for asking and if I didn't cover any part, feel free to ask some more!! Or even if you want more elaborations 😌

#pro snape #remus lupin critical #sirius black critical #fair warning #Severus is the bar against whom I judge all other characters #severus snape #personal #i guess?#ask #ask response #ask wasn't specific so I had fun #snape #hp #severussnape #apparently #siri wins??

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orbees · 4 years

Text

bitched about this on twitter but actually not done and gonna bitch about it here some more.... about Skewl

so i started school yesterday and so far so good, going along, doing my reading etc... but i also worked on my class schedule today, registered for summer classes, etc and uh im basically out of classes. i got like... 4 more? which sounds like more than it is, i take 2 classes per semester so ill be done w/ those in no time... so i start my internship pretty damn soon, spring 2022 and i do that for 3 semesters and then im done. i graduate fall 2022 and its like oghgsdfgsdgh because oh man. i dont feel ready. adult life is rapidly approaching. im going to get a Job and shit. i have to learn how to drive before my internship. i have to take these big scary exams ive been putting off

and im just sitting here like:

i dont Feel Ready but i doubt i ever will tbh LOL its just like. man. its a lot. just a lot of life changes and me just a soft little marshmallow orb. going into the Harsh Real World of Capitalism. it’s scary and i worry that im just gonna be chewed up and spit back out. i worry a lot that ive been doing all this just to realize that im not gonna be able to work at all due to my disabilities, mental health issues, etc. :(

which. i think ive talked about this a bit on here b4 but theres nothing wrong w/ that, no shame in that, i just worry if that happened i wouldnt be able to move out and oh man. oh man. i cannot live here forever. it sucks here. i hate it here.

i also worry a lot that im just gonna suck at my job because im too crazy or whatever and that sucks too. i worry that im gonna fail all my exams :( i worry about driving a lot too i have a really big phobia of it LOL and its just like UGHHH everything is terrifying. why does everything have to be so hard :(

idk. i know itll all work out one way or another. i just need to take it one step at a time and not think so much about my future LOL just focus on the present. but it hard. everything hard.... *flops*

the end. thanks for reading gaymers

#virtual memories

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aangfanclub · 4 years

Text

liveblog s2 ep16: lake laogai

(sorry for no warning, this was kinda on the fly lol) here’s the link to the audio reaction! rough transcript under the cut. it’s safe to say we are just having a LOT of appa and zuko related feelings

We are still not okay after appa’s lost days let’s be real

levi: stop it with the happy music!

Sokka comes onscreen and we all immediately yell “SOKKAAAAA”

Omg sokka we respect ur drawings,,, baby those were good

Abby: i appreciate yours! I would hang yours up too

We are freaking out we are LOSING IT where is appa

Omg iroh’s getting his own tea shop?? This is all he’s ever wanted omg

Shaggy hair zuko!!! He gets shaggier every day fskldsfj we stan

Oh brooo zuko found the poster,,, he said eyebrow twitch dfjkl

Oh yikes creepy lady is back,, where did she go???

Ohhhhh angry aang popped out,,, we gonna break some rules

SDKFJSLD TOPH JUST DESTROYED THEIR HOUSE FDSJOK WE LOVE TOPH

I don’t care about anything as much as toph cares abt breaking rules

Levi is getting major jafar vibes from this earth kingdom guy

This is so scary,, ba sing se is so scary i hate it here

What happened to jet??? Did they give him a haircut

[while iroh’s talking abt teashop names] abby: what about zuko’s

Is that jet??? IS THAT JET

Abby: hey walmart peter pan

Fdklsdjjkfds KATARA OMG

Levi: me too. If i saw jet me too

Kdsfjdsl when ur ex bf shows up and u actually try to kill him

THATS RIGHT KATARA THATS RIGHT we hate jet in this household omg

Toph said who is this man lol

Ok he is hypnotized tho... what did they do to jet fr

This is all fake. Appa’s still in ba sing se this is so fake

He’s not there! He’s not there!! DO NOT GO TO THAT ISLAND HES NOT THERE

THANK YOU SOKKA SOKKA HAS THE BRAINCELL TODAY

Ugh thank you sokka for figuring it out we were so stressed

YES ZUKO YES WE LOVE ANONYMOUS ZUKO

Abby: honestly firebend. Odds.

Zuko said sometimes i need to put on a blue mask and go crazy dfslkj

MAYBE YOU SHOULD KISS HIM DKSFJSDL SOKKA

“A bad one” dsfjk aang said that’s the only way this day could get worse

Ohh babey.......

Katara is healing his mind?? Does that work? Katara be healing mental illness and trauma???

Everyone in the whole city is always hypnotized that’s insane??

Levi: never thought jet would be a piece in this puzzle. Kinda mad about it tbh

Abby: i like, really wanna know how aang’s tattoos get there. Like, do they come in when they master their airbending skills? Or do they just get tatted?

APPA OMG OMG APPA WAIT ITS ZUKO

Zuko be nice. Zuko for once in your life BE NICE BE NICE FOR ONE DAY PLEASE MAKE ONE GOOD CHOICE

Anyway stan sokka and his boomerang skills

Kill him!!! KILL THIS GUY

Zuko please im begging u. Have one moral

We STAN IROH WE STAN IROH

Is this zuko’s redemption?? Is this zuko’s one good thing????

Levi: i don’t CARE if jet dies. Just... just kill both of them

Oh jet?? Is jet gonna die???

Ohhh jet... katara heal him!! Katara!!!

Abby: is she gonna k him?

Levi: stop. Step away.

Me: not in aang’s house!

YES YES APPA’S BACK APPA’S BACK YESSSSS APPA WE ARE CRYING

Appa kill them PLEASE just kill them

Ohhhhhh they reunited i can’t handle this ohhhh i’m soft

Where’s zuko??? Where’s zuko babey?

Ohh my gosh. That was so much. That was so much

#liveblog

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thunderheadfred · 4 years

Text

S1E10 - Buffet froid

Don’t go into that barn

While we’re at it don’t go into that attic either

She went.

Hannibal is wearing that Blue/Gold Masterpiece again, all the better to distract Will from the fact that his goddamn brain is starting to pour out his goddamn nose

Hmmggmnmmgngngm.W-what was I talking about? oH yeah.

Poor Will. You’re having a bad time, babe.

Do fish really bleed that much?????

Jack is officially concerned about Will’s perpetually obvious brain-melt. About damn time??? Christ. I mean, tbh I’m not even mad. Jack’s wife is dying, he’s distracted, and Will is a fucking liar liar brain on fire.

Also to be fair to Will his day-to-day life is completely insane so like, how is he supposed to know if he’s hallucinating half this shit or not

Price’s hat!! Precious. The fact that Scott Thompson is a regular on this show? wild. The fact that as time goes on they allow him to unleash more and more Kids In The Hall background content with his comedy life partner Zeller? Completely fucking surreal.

But not as surreal as this shit

WHO AUTHORIZED THIS BODY LANGUAGE

that is the horniest thing I’ve ever seen. Will is a heaving hair’s breadth from tearing his bodice asunder in a fit of unruly passion

Aight so Hannibal CAN smell encephalitis

“It has heat. A fevered sweetness” okAyyyyy never mind THAT’s the horniest thing I’ve ever seen

so, I’m trying to figure out why Hannibal is cool with letting Will’s brain burn. He pitches it to the other guy as “for science” but it’s not.

Is he figuring he can push Will fully into the “murder is good and fun” club or something? He says he’s Will’s friend and he’ll put out the fire when the time comes, and I do believe that. After all, despite his fucking inscrutable evil intentions, I still can’t imagine he actually wants Will to straight-up turn into jello.

On a serious note the idea of your therapist being so completely dishonest is CHILLING so I guess well done show. You finally have something genuinely scary going on

Will is casually sitting in Hannibal’s desk chair now?

He’s being manipulated and lied to and dangled over the edge of madness but this shit is somehow adorable?

Man they really are dating now I guess.

The neurologist called Will a pig

Me: oh no bitch. you DeaD

Why did Hannibal actually kill this neurologist tho. He’s the one person who can keep Will’s condition a secret so like.... his whole plot to melt Will’s brain is thrown out before it even gets started?

Or did he really just chop him up on a petty lark because the dude was an asshole?

If I recall correctly, a few eps from now they’ll try to frame this as Hannibal’s Master Plan to frame Will for everything... but I don’t buy that either.

Pretty sure he wants Will to think he’s a serial killer himself. You know. Cuz friendship.

Once again, TV Hannibal just seems to.... do shit. Why? What the fuck does he WANT? I DON’t KNOW. No one does.

Hannibal’s chic murder suit makes its first appearance!

Despite an unholy abundance of vampire dialogue this is a nearly solid character-centered episode. I just wish they hadn’t led into this one with two spectacularly crazy filler episodes, because it makes Georgia’s mental illness seem a lot sillier than it had to be.

Lastly, can Hannibal explain his reasoning to literally anyone. Like... just a hint? Please? For me?

Body count

Georgia: 1 school friend, Will’s sanity

Hannibal: ditto

Stoned vampire one-liners:

“I can feel my nerves clicking like roller coaster cogs pulling up to the inevitable long plunge” “Quick sounds, quickly ended.”

“We both know the unreality of taking a life. The people who die when we have no other choice. We know in those moments they are not flesh... but light, and air, and color.”

“The very air has screams smeared on it.”

# Fred Watches Hannibal

#fred watches hannibal #spoilers #hannibal #season 1

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sikereviewdotcom · 5 years

Text

johnny bravo - johnny goes to bollywood (pre-movie)

so clearly it wasnt the movie, i have no idea what episode this was really “episode 1″ was written the video had 4k views and the channel was obscure

but thats beyond the point since im still gonna review the shit out of this episode:

first to begin

were greeted by a lovely bunch of indian women dancing and chanting in an inexistant language i guess (ps: the episode was in indian i think for some reason i havent looked it up either they actually have like i know the movie is americano-indiano w/e but why is this specific episode, which is it even an episode? i shoulda asked for a more precise one but who cares i dont

so after being greeted by this, kinda racist doe but its the 90s the world still evolving cant except much from them can we? ill let it slide but its losing points not surprising but not cool anyway racism aint rad yo

moving on: we see johnny laying on his couch, what he gonna do? well after watching an ad for “jiggy’s jiggalicious (extra-sexy-sexiness-leveling-up) hair gel” he decides to order some quick by the phone and dring drang the mailman comes to him quick and good

handing the true power (gel) for johnnys hair, amazing really but like johnny doesnt even need it look at his fucking hair guys obviously the guy already puts an incredibly amount of gel actually this is what he looks like without his gel

so im taking them a few points down there cause thats denying that johnnys hair is actually pretty well stylized in a jock kinda way but nah johnny aint even this close to that its different still adding +2 points to see his great french fries au naturel if you know what i mean,

next thing you know

the gel works and johnny gets all the chicks outside like really ALL of them and not even only chicks an elephant, men, cars or w/e its a mess he learns fast that with great powers come great responsabilities but johnny isnt about it that guy literally sent the bill to his mama what are responsabilities? how is he even living alone? why is he in bollywood???? who the fuck knows, now it is

“johnnywood”

quickly he meets little girls, i feel like children helping johnny out or him seeking help to them is pretty much a recurring event in there like hes the lil oliver of the streets dogs kinda going with the big dogs trynna life that lifestyle learn the rules by them except he is the adult one and theyre just kids no ones gonna teach you shit johnny because you dont get teached in this hood you get ditched

still pretty epic music going on there digged that dancing johnny sequence with his new hairstyle i get that his moves were great as i just said but apparantly the kids are the only ones not affected by them btw, because the hair gel makes him throws some sike dance there and there which charms people by zapping them with a sexiness-ray-lasers w/e

now that he learned how dangerous the power of being hot and so sexy no one can resist you like no one and with the help of little girls (who are only helping against bubblegum otherwise ofc little girls wouldnt randomly help a grown man dancing 24/24h thats wack too wack and shit thank god johnny is mentally a kid or not? actually nothing can make it, out of contxt, less weird thinking about an adult man who keeps flexing hanging out with little girls daily or mostly so quite often either its his neighbour or just randos

so next they try many things to stop j from being sexy except one thing ill tell later

nothing works so johnny, pinky (youngest girl) and shinky (the older one) go to seek help from the great jiggy himself but the guard wont let them in like this

to get him to let them in our handsome fella shakes his muscles and

the guard falls under his charm and let him in

finally we meet jiggy himself and hes surrounded by his main and side hoes an entire harem of hot chicks all laying and touching him as he sits on his big throne slash chair, quickly THE MAN asks if johnny tried out all his different gels to which he answers positively after a flashback of everything theyve tried before coming to him and so ((ps: i want you guys to know about the two fucking great songs following up in this scene (one with jiggy the man (i do not like that guy tbh have you guys seen his ass? terrible its not even about his ass fuck his vibes is all i only go by johnny who has an excuse to be dumb(( aside from being a himbo))

back to whipping your sheeps: the question: “have you washed your hair with water?”

ofc he hasnt so we discover a big thing here, bravo is dumb so very dumb man wait no that aint a surprise yet it still has something behind it: how often does he even shower? he must be well kept since he takes big pride in his body though he just forgot to wash his hair with water? crazy idk what to think of this ill give my final words on this episode after the quick explaination im giving you here

so thats it btw he goes wash his hair, everything is back to normal, hes back in the getting-slapped after the good old “hot mamma” the balance is back on track

in conclusion?

well everyone this was a very revealing episode and also one of the episodes where our man actually gets the chicks and the zoo but also we learn shit like:

he is in bollywood today! wow! gonna -1 this because it was not explained why and yea ill prob check the movie out

he forgets about washing your hair with water: asks the question “how many fucking times a month does he? is it all gel?”

im downgrading this episode from 8 letters because of jiggys appareance fuck him and his ass, harem and whatnot

also it was in indian(???) this is neutral im just reminding you the context ( yes the voices were fitting enough)

final thoughts: this was an average episode the music was 6/10(basic bollywood) , johnny acted like he always does: no brain cells are available theyre all cooking themselves some protein bars as the other fews are taking fitness classes as we speak so they cant do their job

what saved this? bravos moves thats all i have to say on this matter

tg, out

#review #johnny bravo #cartoon reviews #reviews #johnny bravo review

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flying-elliska · 5 years

Note

What are the important bisexual characters that you said helped you? I am having a hard time finding good bi representation in which they aren’t considered promiscuous or unstable

Hiya anon ! What a quality question, thank you ! Here’s another mini essay about bi rep lmao. If there are some that I forgot please tell me ! And to everyone, tell me about the bi characters who made an impact on your life, I’d love to know !!!!

Okay so.

- When I answered the anon and talked about the characters that helped me come to terms with my sexuality, I talked about two in particular. Jack Harkness from Torchwood is depicted as very promiscuous, and somewhat instable. He still meant a lot to me because a) him sleeping around was never that much of a problem, it was because he was from the future, where things were different, which I thought was refreshing and b) his instability was because of the weight of being an immortal hero. Also fanon!Dean Winchester from SPN, as an older, more macho, emotionally witholding, badass dude written as bi meant a lot to me, but he doesn’t really avoid that stereotype either. But at least they were heroes. However, I can understand wanting bi characters that actually don’t fit that stereotype, because bi people irl aren’t all like that, even if there is nothing wrong per se about sleeping with a lot of different people, or having mental issues to struggle with. And that was a while ago and now we have more and more cool characters ! Such as :

- Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. One of the best portrayals of bisexuality on TV imho. She didn’t start out as bi, she was this tough, cool, scary but with a heart of gold cop who had a lot of other plotlines before. But then, since they saw that a lot of wlw got this vibe from her, were really into her, and the actress came out as bi herself, they decided to use this. So it was super organic, and the way they introduced the subject was true to Rosa herself ; she’s a super private person, she doesn’t like anybody knowing about her life (it’s actually a running joke and Rosa Diaz has been implied to not even be her real name). But then she is dating a woman, and struggles with her parents not understanding and her coworkers find out, help her and support her. Her gay captain is there for her in his typical stoic but hilarious way. They organize game night with her when her parents won’t anymore. We see her crushing on women and dating, but it is treated exactly as the other character’s love life, they never make a big deal out of it. She isn’t the token queer character. She says outright she is bisexual and there is a specific point about her mom not understanding it’s not a phase and thinking she’ll end up with a man anyway, which #relatable. The focus is on the team as found family. Also right now she’s dating a butch woman, which is awesome since they are so underrepresented on TV and I hope we see more of her. That show really is my comfort show, it’s still bloodly hilarious and it really transcends the format to say some really deep woke stuff too, but never in a way that feels on the nose. Everyone should watch it tbh.

- Korrasami ! Oh my god, I was so blown away when they got together. They’re two characters from the animated series Legend of Korra, they start out as rivals in love who have feelings for the same guy, but as they have to fight baddies together, they become bestest of friends, and both fall out of love with the guy. Then in season 3 and 4, their relationship becomes central to the show, as Asami stands by Korra through some really tough shit. Also, they’re both ultra badass and fight really well together. A lot of fans started reading their chemistry as romantic, but we’d never thought they’d actually go there. But the show ends with them walking into the ‘sunset’ (well, the spirit lands) together, holding hands. Now, it was never completely explicit on the show BUT they were dealing with a lot of censure from the networks and you have to be willingly obtuse not to read it as romantic. And after that the creators drew them on dates, and there is a comic series in which they are shown kissing, talking about their feelings, introducing each other to their families, etc. It made me feel so validated when it happened, and I just adore the whole ‘love triangle ditches the middle one and fall in gay love with each other’ trope. (is it a trope yet ? it should be.) It’s still a kids show at its core, but it has amazing depth and deals with some very deep shit. Korra starts off as a bit annoying but she has a really cool development, she’s a girl character we need more of - brave, dynamic but also brash and reckless and action driven in ways that are almost always exclusively shown for boys. And Asami is a more typical girly girl but she’s also a brilliant engineer and has a spine of steel and she’s also very slyly funny. They’re amazing. And the comics are super cute.

- Now there are a lot of characters who are bi/pan that I love, and are good characters in themselves, but their arcs do intersect in some ways with promiscuity and mental instability. I’m thinking about Even from Skam and all his remake variants, Magnus Bane from Shadowhunters, several characters from Black Sails, Sarah Lance and Constantine from Legends of Tomorrow, Eleanor Shellstrop from the Good Place, Bo from Lost Girl, Ilana from Broad City, Joe McMillan from Halt and Catch Fire, God/Chuck from Supernatural (lmaooooo), several characters on Penny Dreadful, or in a totally different category, Vilanelle from Killing Eve or Hannibal from the series (who are hella bad guys but it’s never linked to their sexuality, and are also incredibly compelling to watch.)

And even though these characters taken individually, I would argue, are good rep because they’re complex and layered and interesting and never one-dimensional (and watching them feels incredibly empowering at times)....it’s still a trend. I feel like when writing a character that is attracted to multiple genders, there is always this sort of...tangle of tropes that writers default to, unconsciously. Some negative and some positive. It used to be this trope of bis being villainous, instable, jealous, flaky, immature, perverted, manipulative, cheaters, amoral, greey, etc...and then it evolved into something of a reclaiming and subverting this trope. So now you feel like the Bi Character kind of has to be badass, glamorous, seductive, often superpowered or extraordinary in other ways.. And they also for multiple reasons (they’re immortal, they’re sensitive artist souls, they’re from the future, they’re psycho, they’re exccentric comic relief, they’re daring adventurers and pioneers) don’t care about social norms which allows them to sleep and fall in love with whomever. And so they tend to have those super busy romantic/sexual histories and very troubled backstories. In the past it was a bad thing, now it’s often presented as this positive, enlightened or at least fun and badass thing. They’re heroic, with big hearts, a tremendous lust for life and a cool rebellious attitude. They’re complex, dramatic, tortured. Which can be super cool, too.

But it would be nice to have more ‘normal’ bi characters. I mean, boring bisexuals need to see themselves represented too ! Our sexualities don’t give us super powers. At the same time, it is true that bisexual ppl have higher rates of mental illness, which deserves to be explored, but it would be nice if it was actually articulated and not just part of this trope. But still. We need rep, I think, that is more grounded and varied. So I think that’s also why I read a lot of fanfic. (I was really into the idea of bi Steve Rogers for a long time, partly also because he’s both very mentally resilient, kinda boring in a good way, and very unexperienced in terms of sex/romance, which is pretty much the opposite of the trope)

- I think books, and YA in general, are a good place to find these ‘normal bis’ characters. I’m thinking in particular of Leah from Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (from the same book series that gave us the ‘Love, Simon’ movie) which is a super sweet coming of age/romance story about a super normal teenager who just happens to be also into girls (esp her best friend) and is loud and funny and very lovable and has zero doubts about being bi. You also have Adam Parrish from the Raven Cycle, another one of my forever faves ; he has an abusive family so PTSD from that but it never feels tropey, and it’s completely detached from his sexuality. He has magic powers, too. But his character feels completely opposite to the trope. He’s hardworking, somewhat withholding, prickly (and sometimes awkward), ambitious, determined, down to earth, and has a beautiful love story with another boy. And also Jane, from Jane Unlimited by Kristin Cashore, also really cool ; she’s a nerdy, smart girl who is actually inspired by Jane Eyre who has cool adventures in a weird house where we can follow her on different paths depending on the choices she makes, several of which are love stories. And finally the main character from The Seven Husbands from Evelyn Hugo, kinda fits the trope yeahhh since she’s a super glam actress who well, has seven husbands but it’s a pretty clever deconstruction since it turns out (slight spoilers) that Evelyn is actually through most of her life faithful in heart to the same person and the rest is mostly out of necessity, and her story feels very real and raw and down to earth.

- I don’t go there yet but I really want to check out Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Schitt’s Creek which I have read have very good bi rep. And I want to catch up on Orphan Black (Cosima and Delphine both don’t have exact labels but they’re multi-gender attracted and they’re this cool couple of scientists in a relationship that gets a happy ending). I will never forgive what they did to Lexa so I stopped watching but I do think that Clarke Griffin from The 100 is very good bi rep. Alexia from Skam France, meanwhile, is a bit of a boundary case for me because, even though she’s presented as the ‘weird one’ from the group, very colorful and liberated and exccentric, she’s still a very normal teen who’s happy and comfortable in her own skin, which is awesome.

- Disclaimer, I included characters in here that are also pan/omnisexual or don’t have a label but are attracted to several genders, for the purpose of this discussion i don’t think the difference is all that relevant at least to me (i mostly identify as bi for the sake of simplicity but tbh i could also fit under pan so i feel represented by all those characters). But I understand the importance of characters that state their identities more clearly and with pride.

- So in conclusion : there is nothing wrong with having a sexually active life or struggling mentally (even tho that one is not fun). And I do love all my badass casanova time travelling super powered bis.

But we need more bi characters that don’t fit that trope. We need bi characters in children’s shows, or that don’t have more than one relationship, or that don’t have a relationship at all, to break the tendency to always show bisexual ppl as overly sexual. We need bi characters in committed relationships to break this idea that bi characters are bound to cheat or can’t be satisified with only one person. We need bi characters that are mentally stable and successful and happy, to show that it’s possible. We need bi characters that are boring, bookish, nerdy, ordinary, clumsy, not particularly seductive, socially awkward, rule-sticklers, etc...to show that bi people are not all party animals, or doing it for attention, or to be wild, rebellious and socially progressive. It’s just a sexuality, it doesn’t say anything about your personality. Even though there are some correlations with MI or being bi might bring you in contact with more progressive ideas and to see life a bit differently, there is nothing automatic about it.

- In conclusion, reading testimonies from real people also helped me a lot. It’s a very dated but I got the book “ Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out “ when I was struggling with my own sexuality and it helped a lot, to read that even back then (1991) you had all sorts of regular ppl claiming to be bi and that it was not a phase or a fad or whatever.

#bisexuality #bi rep #media representation #bi pride #lgbt #bi characters

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mobydickmusical · 5 years

Text

Every book chapter a song is named after: Loomings (Ch 1)

Since most of the (most recent) tracklist is named after chapters of the book, I’m going to attempt to work through the whole of the show this way, talking a bit about my thoughts on each chapter’s translation into a song. Based on the tracklist chronology rather than the book chronology. Skipping the songs we’ve already heard, for obvious reasons.

Also fairly obvious, but even though I’m using the chapters to imagine the songs, I naturally can’t be sure how closely they’ll follow the text of that specific chapter (see, The Pacific, which actually follows completely different chapters).

TW for brief mention of suicidal ideation

Loomings is very different from Extracts, in that I can pretty easily envision it fitting into a show of Dave’s, and imagine what it might be like as a song.

This chapter is our first direct introduction to what to expect from the body of this book, and it has four-ish main sections:

1. Ishmael introduces himself as the narrator recounting this story, and explains his general path in it (going to sea because it’s what he does when he’s exceedingly depressed)

2. He dwells on mankind’s inevitable attraction to water, and that this is due to how it represents the unknowable to us

3. He details his reasoning for why he always goes to sea as a simple sailor, as opposed to a passenger or a crew member of higher rank

4. He describes his “choice” to go on a whaling voyage in particular as actually designated by fate. He does, however, then explain his personal attraction to going on the voyage, that could make it appear like free will to him.

So, there is a lot being set up in this chapter. I can very much feel this becoming my main issue to accept (i.e. get my head out of my ass) with reconciling the adaptation with the book overall - there is so Much in Moby Dick and there is only so Much you can fit into a musical. Even a 4+ hour one. But yeah, that’s seen on a smaller scale with Loomings, in how it sets up a lot of background information about Ishmael and how he thinks, as well as starting some thought process about a number of important themes for the book (fate vs free will, capitalist and power dynamics, the limits of mankind’s knowledge… all that important shit). Where the song draws its focus from will just depend on what Dave chooses to emphasise the most.

I'll go through the chapter, and mention where I connected things to either comments Dave's already made about the musical, or to his writing in general.

Coming into reading Moby Dick because I knew Dave was writing his musical, and reading the opening paragraph of Loomings where Ishmael introduces himself by launching headfirst into the details his depression, I naturally went straight to “so this is an introductory solo for a character played by Dave”. It’s not only something that leapt out at me straight off the bat, but one of the more ludicrously famous sections of Moby Dick, so I have to imagine it’s likely to make an appearance.

The further thing I wanted to point out while I’m on this section, is that despite how famous this little piece of Moby Dick which clearly describes Ishmael’s depression and suicidal ideation is, the majority of Moby Dick adaptions have little to no other reference to his depression. Or they just have none at all if they’re really eschewing the narration. I’m not saying that it’s a deal-breaker for an adaption or anything of that kind, but mental illness definitely has a presence and impact in Moby Dick (I’ll just, leave it at that for now) that doesn’t especially get a lot of attention. On the other hand, it’s something that I, personally, will notice and think about. Anyone who’s familiar with Dave, however, knows that his shows almost consistently revolve around mentally ill characters (and what’s probably the most famous solo he’s written is about depression/suicidal ideation), and portray them in ways mentally ill fans relate to and appreciate. If an adaptor was to make a specific effort to earnestly portray Ishmael’s depression, and how that relates to his role in this story, it’d be Dave. (I could potentially even argue that The Pacific and Cetology already suggest ways in which he’s doing this but. Mm.)

But, anyway. I said Loomings is a good fit for that song that can be found in almost any Dave Malloy musical, where everything is just starting out, and someone (who is often played by Dave) sits down to pour out all their frantic thoughts and unstable feelings and draw you into their story - so, how I imagine the song is strongly based off the pre-existing examples of that type of song. Namely, I drift to Pierre and The Astronomer.

Both songs have aspects I like for an imaginary Loomings. They’re both ruminative, emotive introductions to a character and their brain’s inner workings. They’re both at least somewhat depressed and ranty. I like Pierre for its emotional tumult, its inquisitiveness and desire for something more, its explicit descriptions of the effects of his depression on his behaviour, its moment of curiosity about mankind, and its drama. I feel like Pierre barging his way into his introductory solo, the first time we ever hear him sing about himself, with “It’s dawned to me suddenly, and for no obvious reason, that I can’t go on living as I am...” is not worlds away from how Ishmael can come across. I also like how it’s piano-driven (because I unimaginatively imagine Ishmael as a pianist in the show), unlike The Astronomer, but on the other hand, I prefer the less dense instrumentation of The Astronomer (maybe not quite that sparse though. Intermediate). I also like The Astronomer for its slow-paced style ranting, its dreaminess, its dwelling on Big Ideas, and the way it is more an explanation of who this character is through exploring his beliefs. Which is relevant as Loomings goes on.

Both songs, particularly Pierre, channel more anger and resignation than is really relevant to Loomings, however. A part of this is that they’re both dwelling inside the emotions of an unhappy/unsatisfying present, describing that to us as who they are, now. Ishmael is outside of his present self because he’s a narrator. Throughout Loomings he is... recounting his past, but also describing the future of and influences on his past self, moreso than his past self’s present or who he was at that particular time. And, from that more distant position, opening these influences up to us, and the rest of the world. Uh. How relevant or sensible this is to point out I don’t know, but it seems like a very different emotional experience to convey.

The second section of Loomings, where Ishmael discusses water, moves the furthest from talking directly about himself and his story, I suppose, but is a big bit of theme/motif/setting foundation, and is also just very beautiful writing. I love it a lot, and I’d love to hear some of it put to music... A few little quotes from it because I like them:

What do you see?—Posted like silent sentinels all around the town, stand thousands upon thousands of mortal men fixed in ocean reveries.

///

They come from lanes and alleys, streets and avenues,—north, east, south, and west. Yet here they all unite. Tell me, does the magnetic virtue of the needles of the compasses of all those ships attract them thither?

///

There is magic in it. Let the most absent-minded of men be plunged in his deepest reveries—stand that man on his legs, set his feet a-going, and he will infallibly lead you to water

///

Yes, as every one knows, meditation and water are wedded for ever.

///

But though the picture lies thus tranced, and though this pine-tree shakes down its sighs like leaves upon this shepherd's head, yet all were vain, unless the shepherd's eye were fixed upon the magic stream before him.

I also like the abundance of rhetorical questions in this section, and how that invites the reader in as if you were in a conversation. Those could fit well into a theatre song, where you have Ishmael sort asking himself, sort of asking the audience (also a bit Pierre, tbh). This, combined with how much switching up of sentence length there is in this section, give it this lovely gentle-paced, meandering, breathing rhythm that makes me think of it being sung. There’s probably a better, more technical way of describing that, but I don’t know that smartness, so essentially - I can almost hear it simply because of the way it’s already written.

The conclusion of this section is where Ishmael draws together his claim that the reason we all find water so magnetic is because to us it represents the things that’re unfathomable and unreachable in life:

Why upon your first voyage as a passenger, did you yourself feel such a mystical vibration, when first told that you and your ship were now out of sight of land? Why did the old Persians hold the sea holy? Why did the Greeks give it a separate deity, and own brother of Jove? Surely all this is not without meaning. And still deeper the meaning of that story of Narcissus, who because he could not grasp the tormenting, mild image he saw in the fountain, plunged into it and was drowned. But that same image, we ourselves see in all rivers and oceans. It is the image of the ungraspable phantom of life; and this is the key to it all.

It’d definitely be a way to get us onboard this ship, swept up in this journey, while we’re inside a theatre: “Come along with me, into this huge, intrinsic thing, come, and try to obsessively chase down whatever inscrutable thing is still maddening you in the craziness of the world today!” Mmm.

A little thing I find interesting, however, is how this little piece, and how it’d be presented in the context of the show, relates to some pre-existing lyrics from Cetology: “And the ocean is too deep for me to fathom/ And life is just to big for me to bear/ But who am I to compare my despair to the shaking of the sea?” These lyrics have no root in the chapter Cetology itself, and I can only assume they’re actually rooted in this section here. The weirdness of that is how Ishmael makes the comparison he lays out in Loomings, but then immediately questions his right to make it. He paints his own personal experiences as insignificant in the scheme of it all, even if he does harbour those feelings about the ocean which are due to feelings about the unknown. Which is intriguing and opens up a lot of shit. There’s a lot going on in Cetology which can explain why he says that in the context of That Song, but it makes me wonder if this claim will appear in Loomings and then reappear later with the catch on the end, or if it’s sole appearance is in Cetology. It shall be seen. And I’ll probably discuss those Cetology lyrics more when I’ve... actually heard Loomings! Or, oh, you know, the full show for legit context.

The next thing Ishmael does in this chapter is discuss why he makes the choice to go as just a "simple sailor" every time he goes to sea, in doing so telling us a bit more about himself and his opinions. I won’t expand on these hugely, but I do think it’s a fair enough point to say that Ishmael makes statements in this section which could act as starting points for themes that Dave has specified he’s discussing through this show - namely capitalism, democracy and race/systems of power, in this situation.

One of Ishmael’s reasons is money. He doesn’t have the money to pay to go to sea as a passenger, he needs/wants to be paid for it as a sailor. The actual pay for which, by the way, is really, really not that much considering how dangerous a job he’s signing on for. But we have to survive somehow, we suppose...? And, his opinion on the money-making in general?

The urbane activity with which a man receives money is really marvellous, considering that we so earnestly believe money to be the root of all earthly ills, and that on no account can a monied man enter heaven.

Another of his reasons is that he prefers not to go to sea in any higher rank because he doesn’t care for the honour attached to these positions, and doesn’t want the level of responsibility involved. He goes on to explain that while it can be unpleasant to be ordered around by one’s superiors, he accepts it, and there’s no sense in striving for superiority when he is in essence no lesser than them, since, he states, everyone is inevitably under the command of someone else.

With very intentionally provocative wording in the context of a book published in America in 1851.

Do you think the archangel Gabriel thinks anything the less of me, because I promptly and respectfully obey that old hunks in that particular instance? Who ain't a slave? Tell me that.

He finally says that it’s the ordinary sailors rather than their superiors who get the first, freshest breath of that revitalising ocean air. He then leans deeper into the thought:

He thinks he breathes it first; but not so. In much the same way do the commonalty lead their leaders in many other things, at the same time that the leaders little suspect it.

Having laid out his justification for this choice, Ishmael moves onto why a whaling voyage specifically. He essentially accounts it to the mysteries of fate - though his desire to experience new, remote things could trick him into exaggerating the role of his free will.

There’s a part towards the end of the chapter that I specifically wanted to point out, where Ishmael actually uses a piece of theatre as a metaphor for his voyage. It’s not as famous/iconic as some other parts from this chapter but it’s very entertaining in the context of an actual musical, and I’d love if it were referenced:

“And, doubtless, my going on this whaling voyage, formed part of the grand programme of Providence that was drawn up a long time ago. It came in as a sort of brief interlude and solo between more extensive performances. I take it that this part of the bill must have run something like this:

"Grand Contested Election for the Presidency of the United States "Whaling Voyage by one Ishmael

"BLOODY BATTLE IN AFFGHANISTAN." Though I cannot tell why it was exactly that those stage managers, the Fates, put me down for this shabby part of a whaling voyage, when others were set down for magnificent parts in high tragedies, and short and easy parts in genteel comedies, and jolly parts in farces—though I cannot tell why this was exactly; yet, now that I recall all the circumstances, I think I can see a little into the springs and motives which being cunningly presented to me under various disguises, induced me to set about performing the part I did, besides cajoling me into the delusion that it was a choice resulting from my own unbiased freewill and discriminating judgement.”

This little piece fits well with the metatheatricality Dave has said he’s interested in exploring in the show. In terms of this concept, he’s mentioned both Ishmael vs Meville antics, but also broadening the idea of character vs writer with the added layer of him as the composer playing Ishmael. This quote specifically refers to theatre, and referencing one’s own role in a performance, which obviously becomes increasingly funny when you’re a narrator in and composer of a musical based on the book. Pondering over your “shabby part”, and why it was given to you, while you’re existing in theatre you composed yourself… strikes me as in line with Dave’s humour. In the song Cetology, Ishmael already actually laments that “this could be an amazing song...”, in doing so pretty heavily suggesting that he’s self-aware of being in a musical he wrote. So I don’t think Dave using this quote for metatheatre’s sake would be that surprising.

I also like this quote because of the quite bizarre, almost eerie throwaway piece of modern foretelling we’re given in the layout of performances in the “bill”. It’s interesting enough for a modern adaption to point out as it is, but especially since Dave is highlighting connections between the book and modern America, it feels like something he might reference.

#moby dick musical #moby dick #moby-dick #dave malloy #ishmael #loomings #mdtracklistchapters #my post

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