#my mom gives the most VAGUE ANSWERS EVER

[begaydodrughailsaten]

Ya know something I think "maybe I'm not autistic, like I can make eye contact with some people, and I wasn't officially diagnosed a therapist just said I have most of the telltale signs when I was 10" and then I have a melt down and cry on my bedroom floor and scream into my pillows while shaking because I can't plan out a trip I'm going on down to the minute

[lexirosewrites]

Ok last slick sunday ask that's been sitting in my head!! The 2 part one I did was a great exercise & helped me get some imagery thoughts processed abt things for my haunted Harrington fic 👻

A!Eddie is ofc our favorite famous rock star, an aspirational horror director/actor, fantasy nerd, who's seen w a different omega in every city @ every event

O!Steve is a historian, specifically a costume historian, he has a degree tht he has framed in a reproduction of a rococo golden frame, he has a YouTube channel, Steve's Seams, tht he started initially as a way to keep his adopted mom (B!Claudia) updated & involved w his projects, he specializes in the mid to late Victorian era but he has put in the work on other projects of different eras (high middle ages, Renaissance, regency) Steve makes an effort to make these garments using materials & tools tht r as close to historically accurate as one can get, his videos r informative & calming & his voice is soothing & his projects r creative at their core

he did an entire video series when he was invited to the Met Costumes Department just absolutely nerding out, asking questions, having bubbly conversations. It's this series tht makes his channel suddenly blow up. He's getting comments on old videos, alot of the comments abt how attractive he is, the most popular videos tend to b his videos reviewing costumes in "period piece" movies/shows, not bc he's harsh but bc he takes the time to explain/illustrate how something would've looked if it'd been made accurate to the period the media is meant to b set in

Some time later.........

Eddie & Corroded Coffin r planning a series of music videos for their upcoming album, they've got a reputation for their conceptual albums tht have powerful aesthetics, their albums till now r set in blatantly fantasy worlds following a vague middle ages aesthetic, but now they're stuck.

They've made a rock opera essentially & they know the story they're telling in the album: an alpha detective finds themselves swept up in a missing persons case turned to a murder case tht leads them into a vampiric city underground, literal blood sucking mafia essentially, where they finds the victims omega mate amongst a coven of vampires, now turned & mated to the vampire tht leads the entire underground, the victim had been abusing the omega & when they went to the vampire mafia bc they saw no other recourse, the omega was discovered to b the reincarnation of the leaders first & only love, the album/opera ends w the detective being fed to the hungry horde.

They're throwing ideas back & forth for the music videos w their ever talented manager/agent/creative coordinator A!Chrissy, they have a disappointing meeting but when they come back the next day Chrissy has pep in her step & proudly shows them a YouTube video. It's a critique of one of their music videos from their first big break album, it'd been vaguely set in the middle ages/Renaissance, except this person doesn't care abt the music instead they’re observing the costumes, explaining the time period they'd been borrowing from, how the costumes would've been constructed/actually looked during the historic period they'd presented. Then Chrissy shows them a video of this YouTube channel constructing a Victorian opera gown & opera suit. It's a eureka moment as the band realizes where she's going w this, a Victorian vampire is classic! Why not lean into the whole thing? Eddie is quiet as they discuss giving one word & noncommittal answers, bc he's stuck staring at the gorgeous omega in the paused video, then he speaks up over all the noise saying they NEED this specific historian on their creative team specifically to consult & design the costumes. Chrissy raises an eyebrow but agrees

Steve agrees, signs a rlly big NDA, & is flown out to LA so he can begin his role as a consultant/designer for the 6 music videos the band has conceptualized for the album.

Steve meets the entire team at a meeting meant to discuss & establish the various logistics needed to make the videos the quality the band wants, they've hired a famous horror cinematographer, an even more famous horror director, everyone in the meeting has a lot of experience in a big scale filming environment & Steve doesn't, but he tries to not let it get to him. He wears garments he made himself (ofc) some of them he made on the channel even. A walking skirt in a very sensible deep green & an embroidered matching walking jacket r the focus of the outfit, when he gets to the building he's met by Chrissy & she leads him to the meeting room. He meets everyone especially the band, Eddie stumbles over his words, when Steve removes his walking jacket to reveal the equally green vest Eddie chokes on his water.

Blah blah blah

They don't want any of the ppl who audition for the role of the omega, Eddie is playing the vampire boss ofc & everyone's gotten closer to Steve & tht means everyone basically loves Steve, & hey he's an omega who is more than just pretty & he'd have a rlly easy time making a costume for himself, so Steve ends up as the omega in the music videos. Steddie get closer than they should since Eddie is technically Steve's boss

by the time the albums dropped with the music videos dropping each following week they've fallen fully in love & have discussed mating & Eddie’s been seen w a mystery omega around multiple cities but what's got everyone interested is the fact tht this is clearly the same person & they've been "practicing" for trying for a pup for awhile now😏

Dustin has a full freak out abt his older brother working w his favorite band of all time, AND HE HAD TO FIND OUT THRU PAPARAZZI THT HES DATING EDDIE MUNSON, when he tries to go to Robin w his melodrama tht rlly is more boundless happiness for Steve she blinks at him & tells him she already knew, Steve had told her abt their relationship literally two minutes after a conversation tht was followed by sex tht cemented them as romantic partners, before Dustin can leave to call his mom Robin tells him she knows already as well, after all Eddie had to ask SOMEONE for their blessing to mate & marry Steve & that's how Dustin learns they're engaged 🥰

i love how Steve is just living his best life (AKA making his hyperfixation into a career) and ends up snatched up by a rockstar with big ole heart eyes!!! he deserves nothing less!!!

[peterparkouryo]

a summer in new york¹ | ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

prompt; You and your parents spend the summer in New York. You make new friends (and enemies) during your time there. Also, yeah, you meet a boy.

warnings: fluff

word count: 1.3k

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ taglist

School is just another word for prison, you'd like to think so at least. It sounds bad, and that’s because it is. You hated the “educational” building you were required — no, forced to attend five days a week for ten months, mainly because the students were fake as shit and there was always drama. 

If there was an opportunity for a school to be based solely around a reality tv show, you're sure yours would be the first option and the perfect kind of scrutiny any kind of audience would tune into everyday.

The one and only good thing about school is the every once in a while breaks. Winter break was your favourite but the break that took the cake, had to be summer. Three months free of a draining, time consuming and stressful academy. Not only were you excited for this particular summer but you were a senior, a graduate so that meant no more high school for the rest of your life.

A truly humbling resonation.

"I should cut my hair, like a cute little bob." You hear your friend, Michelle blurt aloud as she scrolls through her phone, most likely on TikTok.

"It wouldn't make sense with your face shape." Your other friend, Cece points out from next to you. Michelle rolls her eyes and places her phone on the booth's table.

Michelle and Cece were your best friends, and only friends. You met Michelle through Cece when the three of you were in grade school and ever since then, you all were inseparable. All sounds very cheesy and silly, but that's quite literally how it is. Cece was more of a mother of the group, and you only gave her that role because when the two of you first met, she stuck up for you when a more privileged girl made fun of the fact you weren't as prosperous as her. Michelle was the more undeveloped of the group, only for one of a million reasons. She was fourteen. A freshmen, while both you and your other friend were well in your senior year.

But it didn't bother you at all, because at the end of the day your friendship was something special, a kind of bond that not many people would ever come close to understanding.

"What are we doing after graduation?" Cece looks at you as you take a bite of your very mature for your age chicken tender.

"College in august." You shrug.

Cece gives you a unamused look, before glancing at Michelle who laughs at your very vague answer.

Cece had the most beautiful dark skin, it was smooth and pristine. With the way she carried herself, anyone could mistaken her as a goddess on earth. She told you once before when she her and her mom took a family vacation to South Africa, that men there fall to their knees for women as beautiful as her, which you found weird because she was fifteen at the time, and you're sure the men who "fell to their knees" just for her, were probably — or more appropriately, way older. 

Michelle on the other hand, was a Bulgarian whose accent faded from time spent in America, her skin was tan and her hair was dark brown, like the kind of dark brown that reminds you of chocolate, with a hint of fading red since the girl loves to dye her hair. 

"I meant like during the summer, moron." 

You look over to Cece, before trailing your eyes to Michelle, your bottom lip retreats in between your teeth nervously.

The girls thankfully, don't catch onto your sudden febrile behaviour, but you knew at the end of the day, you were going to have to break their hearts with the news your parents shared earlier that day.

"I can't." You sigh and run a hand through your hair, looking down at your plate as you feel two pairs of eyes boring almost burning into your skin.

"You can't?"

"Why?"

You tilt your head up, your eyebrows raise, glancing in between your two best friends as they await your answer.

"Because, I'm going to New York for the summer." You look down at your acrylics, tapping the table with your index finger. Michelle snorts as Cece continues staring, silently, but you know that's just her odd way of processing news told to her.

"New York? Girl bye." Michelle laughs at your words, you give her a glare as she continues to find humour in your information.

"I'm serious, my parents got family down there or whatever." You argue.

Cece sighs in what could only be described as a defeat, disappointment and devastation. Michelle shakes her head and glares at you. "I wanna go." She pouts and you smile with a quite laugh, but you remember, she's a underdevelopment teenager.

"You can't, I said family vacation Michelle." You make sure to emphasis the word 'family' as your friend sticks up her middle finger.

"You said you had family down there," She retorts and you pick up a fry and throw it at her. "Same thing!" Michelle laughs as she dodges the fry, picking it up from the table and eating it, which you grimace at, your face morphing in disgust. Her gross behaviour wasn't anything new, but it still unsettled you whenever she did anything such.

Your other friend was oddly quiet, and it was fine, not bothering you most of the time, but when typically, Cece only grew quiet when she's fighting a difficult battle in her own head. A habit you and your younger friend tried to break her from many times, but to no avail.

"You okay Cee?" Your mouth falls into a fall frown, looking over your friend carefully, because the wrong kind of question could set her off.

She nods, but you're unconvinced, so you take the risk to push your concerns.

"You sure? You're scary when you're quiet."

"I just didn't think you would be leaving to a different state, for three months mind you." She shrugs as the waitress comes over to check on you three, and Michelle tells her you're all ready for the bill.

"I know, but we're literally going to the same college this fall, plus I'll FaceTime you both every single day, you'll get sick of it." You reassure her, taking a hold of her hand and giving her cheek a quick kiss.

Cece raises her eyebrow at your affection. The girl is no stranger to the behaviour. You often have a flirty friendship from time to time, so it's not an out of character thing for you to do. She sometimes enjoy it, but only if you're not wearing sticky lipstick or lip gloss. Her pinky raises to your other free hand, and you hold up yours as soon as you get the hint. Both your pinkies wrap around each other with a quiet promise.

"Can you two stop being lesbian and get the hell out the booth so we can go to the bookstore?" Michelle breaks your cute moment between you and your older friend as she puts on her jacket.

You and Cece laugh at her impatience, but you slide out of the booth as well as your friend, throwing on your jacket. You look down at the table once you do, your face in an obvious confusion, turning your gaze to your younger friend.

"Did you pay?"

Michelle nods with a smile.

Cece shares a look with you, but before you two could get a word out, the younger girl holds up her finger in defence.

"I literally just got my first paycheque, you should bow down to me for spoiling you girls." 

You shake your head at the invitation of worship. "Girl shut up, let's go." Cece rolls her eyes and walks past the both of you, exiting the diner as you two trail behind her towards your car, or more so, your parents’ vehicle.

You round towards the driver side, getting into the car, sitting in silence as you wait for your two better halves to settle in.

After a few seconds of two successful car slams, you start your car and pull out the parking lot of the diner, driving to the first red light. The older friend in the passenger seat turns on a shuffled playlist from her phone, the first song being a Beyoncé one you enjoy.

"Aliayah lives in New York, right?" Michelle quizzes from the back seat.

"Mhm." You nod at the mention of your other friend.

The light turns green after an eternity, and you press the gas, continuing your journey to the only bookstore in your godforsaken town.

taglist: @victoriousskylar @imawhoreforu

[ceebit]

joshua being a single dad and falling in love with his daughter’s ballet teacher....... ☹️

astronomical fuck-up for one, please

why do you guys like giving me cute ass ideas with the guy y’all know i’m not the most normal about in the slightest oh my god. clutching my purses and pearls and rubies and robes and— and—

“you should talk to them today. like actually talk, and not just stare at them like a creep from the pickup spot. you know, like normal people do.”

joshua closes his eyes at the jab, exuding patience of the high order, because he knows there’s a wicked grin paired with what he supposes is half-assed sentiment. but he’s not staring. wasn’t staring, has never been staring—

he’s just admiring talent. an hour earlier than he’s supposed to even be there. but hey, he was in the area and was roped into a conversation with one of the moms—he didn’t see the point in leaving. his afternoon was free, anyway, and the way maia’s eyes lit up when she saw him during a break gave him all the more reason to stay.

except, seungkwan seems to particularly enjoy pressing his perfectly curated buttons each time he sees him, and today was no exception. seated at a table in the in-house cafe, the noiret crosses one leg over the other and stares him down, and joshua is more than happy to stare right back.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” he answers simply, and chooses to ignore the pointed look the other gives him in return. “don’t you have a class to teach?”

seungkwan huffs and uncrosses his arm to wave around vaguely. “you know we share the same studio, and you know i teach after their class. which is why it doesn’t make sense why you’re stalling—”

“i’m not stalling? there isn’t anything to even stall for—”

“oh, for crying out loud. maia even knows you like them, i honestly don’t understand what you’re doing this for.”

maia knew? maia knows? he’s thrust suddenly into odd situations that now suddenly make sense, from cheeky grins to swinging both your hands to telling him to wave goodbye everyday after class and god, the little smile on your lips each time you waved back—

“—llo? hello? oh my god, he’s doing it again. mingyu, have water on standby in case he passes out at the thought of a four bedroom house with a white picket fence and a toyota camry.”

he blinks back to the sound of politely contained laughter, looking behind him to see the barista behind the counter holding a glass of water sheepishly. exasperation quickly makes itself comfortable on his features, and he sighs before standing up to gather his things.

“thanks for the riveting enlightenment,” he deadpans, and to his dismay, seungkwan only smiles smugly in response. “i don’t have time for this. it’s almost time to pick maia up, anyway.”

“i’ll just say i told you so when you freeze again,” he shrugs, and laughs when he stalls to recollect himself for a moment. it’ll be fine. he’ll just say you look nice today, and that you always do.

and that your smile is possibly the prettiest once he’s ever seen, and that when you dance, all he can see is you. epitome of gracefulness, honestly, and your work with kids is just flawless, and your laugh is kind of cute and really endearing and—

he accidentally walks into a wall and bites down a curse. a burst of laughter erupts from behind him and it takes all his willpower not to throw up a pleasant middle finger back in the direction he came from.

pickup goes pleasantly, as always. maia barrels into his arms with the force of a mini bullet train as usual, and it knocks him back a few steps. her laughter is all the same, though, and it allows him to stave off the pang in his chest about her growing up so fast. she’s the only reminder of what used to be before that dreaded phone call, dulled to a distant ache.

she looks so much like her sometimes.

“how was class today, hm?” maia giggles when he squeezes her tight, little hands resting on his shoulders. “did you learn anything new?”

“mhm! yn says we have a new dance to learn for the winter show, so we’ve been practicing a lot—but i can’t show you! it’s a secret.”

maia mimes zipping her lips and shoving the key in her coat pocket, and grins when he frowns theatrically. “not even a little bit?” she shakes her head no, and he squints. “really? not even one spin?”

“not even one spin.” your voice pipes up from behind him, making him turning around and promptly forget every single word his ever learned.

you’re… gorgeous, even after hours of dance and probably more still after. dressed comfortably in sweats and a shirt, you smile when maia beckons you close and comply easily, your movements graceful even when just walking.

he hopes maia can’t hear how loud his heartbeat sounds.

“i heard a little dancer was about to reveal the secret we planned for the parents,” you tease, brows raising in disbelief, and maia is quick to reassure you that she definitely wasn’t.

“we pinky promised, remember? i don’t break pinky promises,” she huffs, and you laugh faintly before relenting. turning to him, maia adds, “can i get hot chocolate from the store?”

he buffers for a second when you turn to him and quickly nods, hastily fishing out a ten dollar bill before turning to you. “do you want anything? i don’t mind getting you anything—”

“oh—no, i’m okay. really. i’ve actually been meaning to talk to you.”

his heart drops. maia looks at the two of you incredulously before ultimately deciding getting hot chocolate was far more interesting than whatever was going on between you two, skipping off to join her friends already at the cafe.

“you wanted to talk—to me?” he cringes at the sound of his voice. get it together!

“i hope that’s alright,” you laugh nervously. “don’t get me wrong, maia is a wonderful student! this isn’t about her, it’s… more about you.”

oh god. okay. alright. okay. relax.

“i hope this isn’t too forward, but—”

“i’m not seeing anyone,” he blurts out, and then burns bright red out pure shock.

he did not just say that. he did not just say that. he did not—

frantic, he tries to backtrack, heart climbing into his throat as all alarm bells in his mind go off at once. maia was already doing so well here, and now he’ll have to relocate somewhere else out of embarrassment, and he’ll never be able to walk the entire block due to pure association with this astronomical fuck up, talk less of even being able to face you—

“ah… well, that’s good news, isn’t it?”

he doesn’t know how on earth that could mean good news, but you haven’t walked away just yet, so he’ll take it. his smile is a bit sheepish, murmuring an apology, and your smile softens at the words.

“i guess this means asking if you’re free anytime this week a bit easier.”

joshua physically has to stuff his hands in his pockets to refrain to cheering out loud like a teenager. you look nervous but determined, and he leans against the wall lest his legs actually give out from under him.

“sure—yeah, i’m free this weekend. maia has a sleepover planned, anyway, so… we could make plans for dinner?”

your smile is definitely ten times brighter than it was a few seconds ago, and he’s so gladly the damn wall is behind him for support. “dinner sounds great.”

“dad!”

you both jump at the sudden yell, heads turning to the direction it came from to find—

goddamnit.

both seungkwan and maia look equal parts smug, arms crossed over their chests in matching stances that practically ooze i told you so. you scoot closer to him in response, and maia’s eyes widen comically.

“are you dating?!”

the entire pickup section turns to you two with wide eyes, and you shrink against him even more. you’re about to open your mouth to comment when a loud whoop rings out from the crowd, someone pushing forward to jab their finger into another parent’s chest.

“that’s 50 fuckin’ bucks. i told you they were totally into each other!”

joshua closes his eyes and sighs. at least the dinner would be more private.

back home ⟡ the archive ⟡ join my taglist ⟡ last post

[ghost-runner]

“Useless” and “Troubled” until the End: Pt. 2

Sully Family x Fourth Child Male Reader

Summary: After being grounded a second time, you disobey Jake’s for the third time to secret sneak out and secretly help out on the raid against a train carrying supplies for the RDA assault forces. This ends up with you getting badly injured from a missile blast and things finally hit the breaking point at home. A familiar antagonist also shows up, looking a lot more blue and bloodthirsty than ever before.

Warning: Violence, blood, injuries, cursing, family arguments, a tiny bout of child neglect, abduction, kidnapping, etc.

Note: Once again, I’m not going to try to use Na’vi language as I don’t have any idea what the translations are to English.

-Y/N POV

I laid back in my hammock, not giving a care to the world as I vaguely listened to Dad tell everyone what was going on today with some sort of raid going down.

Jake: Alright, everyone please listen up. We have something big that will be taking place today. Neteyam, Lo’ak, you’re on lookout and watch duty to ensure everything is going accordingly to plan. Your mother and I will be leading the attack on the train from below.

Neteyam: Awesome! We get be on the battlefield!

Lo’ak: Ddddaaadddd, come on, give us a more exciting role.

Jake: Lo’ak, this is not up for debate. You’re on lookout duty and that’s final. -Dad then turns to Kiri and I while I have my back to him to notify that I’m ignoring him- Kiri, I need you and Y/N to watch Tuk while the rest of us are gone, okay?

Kiri: Of course, Dad.

Jake: Y/N, is that clear?

I ignore him as I try to fall asleep.

Jake: Is that clear, soldier!?!

I roll over in my hammock to face him and giving him a hard glare as Dad gets a bit angry at me for my blatant disrespect.

Jake: Y/N! Answer me!

Y/N: Yes sir…understood. -I give Dad a mocking salute as I turn back over, once again putting my back to him-

Dad sighs heavily at this and walks out of the Hometree to his Ikran, knowing the reasons why I’ve been more difficult as of late. I know Mom is looking at me worriedly as I’ve gotten into a lot more arguments with Dad over the last few days with me trying to prove myself, but I just shrug it off. I feel someone come up behind me and gently hug me from behind. I tense my back at this and roll over once again to see Mom is the one hugging me so I hug her back as she picks me up out of my hammock like she used to when I was a little kid. She puts me on back on my feet after a few seconds as Kiri and Tuk join the hug and the three help me feel a lot better. Mom then pulls away and kisses me on the forehead as my ears flatten against my head. She then walks out of the Hometree to her Ikran while I look to see Neteyam and Lo’ak giving me looks of understanding from where I stand at with our old man as I nod to them silently before the two leave for their Ikrans. Kiri lets me go from the hug and rubs my head with the height difference between the two of us with her being taller than me. She loves to tease me for being shorter than the normal Na’vi.

Kiri: You know I’m always here for you, little brother.

Y/N: I know, sis. Thanks.

I head back to my hammock and climb back into it before I get comfy as I close my eyes when I feel a weight on my chest. I open them back up to see Tuk climbed onto me and cuddled up to me which led me to smile. I rub her head and get comfy with Tuk on me and I fall asleep for about 30 minutes.

- 30 minutes later -

I woke up to sounds of ships careening down to the surface of Pandora and rolled over to see that RDA drop ships are coming into Pandora’s surface. I look around to see Kiri and Tuk not in the Hometree. I’m already know what Kiri is doing with Tuk to keep her distracted from everything going on, most likely by taking her on a nature walk and leaving me in the tree alone so I can have a bit of space. I smile at the opportunity that has opened for me and I quickly grab my knife, my bow which I named “Skull Splitter” from which I had hand-carved and designed myself, and a quiver full of barb tipped arrows I had made. I then run out of the Hometree before I whistle long and loudly for Ro’nea. I get a running start for myself before I run towards the edge of one of the long branches from the tree and jump off, leaving me in free fall as I see a blur of white and Ro’nea is with me as she gets under me, I then connect my queue to Ro’nea’s queue and we become one. I rub her head in gratitude for her quickness of getting here and I guide her to where I know the raid is taking place.

(This is the bow.)

(These are the arrows.)

- 1 hour later -

As Ro’nea and I reach the location of the raid, I begin to quietly think to myself. I know that I’m not supposed to be out here after being double grounded by Dad, but I really don’t care anymore. I have to be independent as I know I can only rely on myself in times like this. Everyone else just expects me to be in the background or to be useless and that I should be okay with with. I already get bullied enough as it is by boys in the clan that are my age because of this while they all have hunted something with it being some sort of achievement. Nobody ever notices the bullying or disrespect I get from my fellow clan members so I’ve learned to just keep my grievances to myself. It doesn’t matter as I doubt anyone would even believe me should I tell someone anyway as one of the son of Toruk Makto,

I shake my head to clear my mind as I start to fly higher than most of the Na’vi involved in the raid on Ro’nea so I don’t get spotted by Mom or Dad, the same goes for any other Na’vi involved in the raid. This is because of a different scar of my face that goes from the left side of my forehead to the middle point of my neck that was a result of a terrible fall I took when I was five years old. Due to this scar on my face in addition to the one from Ro’nea’s crash, I’ve become a very recognizable person so many of my clan know how to notice me out of a crowd, but they fail to notice most of the time due to me also being shorter than most other Na’vi. I also know that I stick out quite a bit obviously since Ro’nea is completely white, but we’ve managed to stay under the radar for now. I look down to my companion and scratch Ro’nea on her neck as she lets out a screech of content at the scratch. I smile at her antics and let out a small thank you to Eywa for allowing me to bond with Ro’nea as she is one of the only friends I’ve had in a long time besides my siblings. I briefly catch my brothers as they are on watch duty as they also fail to notice me partaking in the raid. I look off to see that there are RDA ships incoming as the train blew off its track for the explosive detonation. I grab my bow and ready an arrow before letting go of it as it soared into the glass windshield of one of the ships and went straight through the glass. The arrow ended up impaling itself into the pilot’s chest, hitting the heart and killed the pilot immediately which led to the ship losing control before crashing into the cliff side.

Y/N: Fuck you.

I watch as I saw both Dad and Mom take out a few other ships while I smile at their teamwork. I just wish I could have possibly learned from them instead of needing to teach myself. I then saw both of my parents look over in my direction as they looked at Ro’nea with surprised looks. I can only assume it’s because they’ve never seen a fully white Ikran before, but then again, fully white Ikrans are very rare to find, and it’s considered very sacred as it’s seen to be the very image of Eywa itself. Not only that, white Ikrans are also bigger than most regular Ikrans of different colors. From what I know, if you bond with one, it’s a very special honor amongst Na’vi to have that bond and that anyone who has a white Ikran will be highly respected by the clan. Well, I know that to be absolute bullshit since I’m bonded with one. (I’m making up the white Ikran bond thing for the sake of the story). I’m just happy that they are too far away to see that their son is the one that is bonded with the white Ikran. I keep my head down to make sure it stays that way. More ships begin coming and I continue to launch arrow after arrow at each ship using my bow while riding Ro’nea. I took down three more ships with precise shots to either the pilot’s head, killing them instantly or hitting them in the chest with an instant kill heart shot.

Y/N: All of you RDA sons of bitches can go rot in hell.

I have Ro’nea stop for a moment so I can collect my barrens when I see my two brothers heading down to the train when I knew they were not supposed to be. I roll my eyes and signal for Ro’nea to let me off near where my brothers are. Once on the ground, I get off of Ro’nea’s saddle and leave my weapons attached to the harness I made for her. I detach my queue from hers and tell her to hide herself somewhere safe nearby in case I need her as I don’t want to risk her getting hurt. Ro’nea looks at me, understanding what I’m telling her to do and she flies off to hide just like I taught her. I turn around and then run to where my stupid brothers are at.

— 3RD PERSON POV

Lo’ak and Neteyam are off of their Ikrans and we’re currently opening up a crate filled with weapons as Lo’ak grabbed one of the assault rifles that were in said crate.

Neteyam: Don’t tell me you’re going to try using that thing.

Lo’sk: Come on, bro. It can’t be that hard.

Lo’ak aims the weapons into the air jokingly, but the two Sullys freeze and feel their blood go cold when they hear a voice they know all too well.

Y/N: What the hell are you two idiots doing down here?! I thought dad told you to stay in the air on watch duty!

The two eldest Sully boys turned around quickly to see their youngest brother running towards them with a grim look on his face. They have shock written all over their faces as they look at their brother in confusion with him being here at the raid.

Neteyam: Y/N?!? What the hell are you doing here!?

Y/N: Trying to show Dad I can handle myself and that I’m actually capable of being useful besides babysitting and being a healer.

Lo’ak: Bro. Dad will kill you if he finds out that you’re here!

Y/N: I honestly don’t care anymore. It’s always the same with him! I can never do anything the two of you can!

Neteyam: That’s because you’re unprepared, Y/N!

Y/N: NO, I’M NOT!! IT’S ALWAYS THE SAME WITH THIS ME BEING USELESS CRAP! I JUST WANT ONE CHANC— INCOMING ROCKET! LO! NETE! LOOK OUT!

Y/N pushed his brothers behind some cover as the rocket struck close to where the three Sully boys were at. Neteyam and Lo’ak only had minor bruises from their little brother pushing them out of the impact zone of the rocket, but Y/n took the brunt of the blast and couldn’t be seen by either of the oldest brothers. Jake had only now seen his oldest sons looking around for the third Sully son, but he was completely unaware to what they were doing or the fact of Y/N being there. Jake fly down on his Ikran and dismounted from it to run to where his boys are at. Jake reached his two oldest boys and was totally pissed at the two of them.

Jake: WHAT WERE YOU TWO THINKING?!? I TOLD YOU TO STAY ON LOOKOUT DUTY!!

Lo’ak: Sir, we know. But there’s bigger trouble than that right now!

Jake: What is bigger than you two disobeying my orders?!

Neteyam: Y/N is here and he’s possibly hurt!

Jake froze and felt his heart completely stop at what his oldest child had just said to him.

Jake: Y/N is what!?!

Lo’ak: Y/N is possibly hurt as he pushed us out of the way from the rocket exploding! We need to find him!

Jake: You two get back into your Ikrans and get airborne. I’ll find your brother.

Neteyam and Lo’ak: Yes sir.

The two brothers run back to where they had their Ikrans at and started getting airborne while Jake searched through the wreckage for his youngest boy. He couldn’t find anything and started to worry about what might’ve happened to Y/N. Only then did Jake saw something out of the corner of his eye where he saw a few bodies belonging to the deceased Na’vi they sadly perished during the train raid. Jake shallowed down hard to keep a lump that was building in his throat from bursting out and letting him assume the worst possible fate that his son could have had. Jake ran over to the bodies and began to check each one. The first two bodies were of female Na’vi so Jake ruled them out immediately and the next two bodies were of male Na’vi, however, Jake didn’t see the scar that he knew only his son would have on the side of his face. When he reached the final body, he noticed that the Na’vi was not dead and the person was still breathing and had a pulse. He turned the person over onto his back and Jake instantly saw the scar on the Na’vi’s face, immediately telling him it’s his son. He checked Y/N for any injuries and saw that Y/N had some metal shrapnel in his left leg that will need to be removed later and a large gash in his left arm. He picked his son up and quickly got him onto his Ikran before taking off. Neytiri saw Jake on the ground and watched as she then saw Jake pick up an unconscious Na’vi and taking them to his Ikran and taking off. She went over and looked in horror at the realization that it was her youngest son that was injured. She gave Jake a look saying “Let me take him, you continue leading the attack.” Jake let his mate take their son before he went back to leading the attack. Neytiri started to make her way back to their home when Neteyam and Lo’ak fly over to their mom and tell her to let them take their brother home. She gives them their unconscious brother before she returned to the fight. The boys took their little brother home.

— 6 Hours later —

— Y/N POV

I silently stare at the ceiling of my home as my mind wonders far out. I’m knocked out of thought when my grandmother, Mo’at and Kiri walk into the Hometree while carrying leaf wrap bandages and medicine. Grandma sits down next to me before she began to tell me what she’ll have to do with my leg. I silently nod to her and grab my knife from the table next to me. I put the blade of my knife into my mouth to bite down onto while my grandmother carefully starts to slowly pull the piece of metal out of my leg. I grunt in pain and bite down onto the blade as Grandma continues pulling the metal out slowly. My tail is swishing a lot and my ears are up at attention as I let out another grunt of pain and bit down harder on the blade before Grandma finally gets it out. Kiri than came over to me to put some medicine onto the wound and began wrapping it in the leaf bandages. I take my knife out of my mouth and carelessly throw it at the wall, embedding it into the bark of the tree next to my hammock. I then spit a little bit of blood into my hand and wipe it off onto the already bloodied bundle of leaves beneath me.

Kiri: You really shouldn’t have gone out there, little bro.

Y/N: Kiri, as much as I love you, please not now.

Kiri: I’m just saying….

Y/N: I know, I know. I’m already going to get the same talk down from Dad, the angry drill instructor.

I look outside to see the red evening sky and it fills me with a feeling of contentment. Like Kiri, I’ve always enjoyed nature and the little things in life that are around us, but nobody seems to notice. Kiri rubs my left arm that has a patch of bandage wrapped around the gash from earlier with understanding how I feel about nature and I’m happy that I can share that with my big sister.

Y/N: Grandma, Kiri, thank you both for patching me up.

Mo’at: Of course, little warrior. You’re just like your grandfather when he was a young man.

Y/N: I could never live up to Grandpa’s reputation. I can barely even prove myself to Dad, I’ll never be able to do anything right…. -I hug Grandma tightly-

Kiri frowns and joins the hug as she knows just how badly I want to be considered a “Proper” Sully.

Mo’at: Oh, little warrior. I know about how you feel, your father is a hard man. He’ll come around eventually, I promise. And I know that you can do anything that you’ll put your mind to, little warrior.

Kiri: Even if that doesn’t happen, Y/n. You still have Tuk, me, Neteyam, Lo’ak, Grandma, and Mom. You’re not alone.

Y/N; Thanks, Grandma, thanks, sis. I’m happy to know I can always rely on you.

Mo’at: I must go attend to the rest of the wounded, my grandchildren. Kiri, can I count on you to keep an eye on your brother while he heals?

Kiri: Of course, grandmother.

Mo’at nods to my big sister as she then gets up and walks out of our Hometree. I groan as I get up from the makeshift bench I was laying down on and go to the table to sit down while Kiri gently helps me up over to it. I look over to my hammock to see Tuk sleeping soundly in my hammock and I smile at the sight before I then hear the familiar sound of the flap of an Ikran’s wings and I got ready for the hell that is coming. I look to see Mom, Dad, and my brothers enter the home. I look at Dad and he is giving me the death stare right now to which I roll my eyes as I look away. My brothers are looking at me with sympathy looks on their faces as they know what hell I’m in for. Mom, however, has worry written all over her face at the shock from knowing what her youngest son did. Dad spoke up for everyone’s attention.

Jake: Everyone, head to bed. Y/N. I need to have words with you outside. Now.

I rolled my eyes and got up. Kiri tried to help, but I told her I would be fine. I painfully forced myself out the chair and limped out of the tree with Dad hot on my tail before I turn around to face him.

Jake: What. Did. I. Say. About. Disobeying. Direct. Orders. Soldier? Are you out of your goddamn mind, Y/N?!? Why did you even think that was a good idea?!?

Y/N: Sir— You know what, fuck that military shit. DAD. With all due respect from the love I have for you, can you yell at me tomorrow? -Jake clenched his jaw as stared down his son in worry- I feel like I’m about to fucking pass out and I don’t want that to be considered disrespectful.

Dad’s eyes looked over me could only sigh before agreeing to to what I said.

Jake: Alright, let’s head to bed then.

Dad goes into the home first before I just let out a loud sigh, walk into the home, silently grab my journal out of my pillow, and go back outside the Hometree to climb up to where my secluded sleep spot is. Before I climb, I see Jake giving me a look saying to not go up. I shake my head at him and carefully climb up to my sleep spot before I get comfy and start to write in my journal. After writing down about my feelings and what will might be in store for tomorrow, I close my journal and roll over to doze off to sleep.

- The next day around noon —

— 3RD PERSON POV —

Y/N was currently sitting out on one of the branches outside of the home while he sharpens the blade of his knife without a care to the world. He can hear his parents talking/arguing about what to do in regards to him while the rest of his siblings are off hanging out with their good friend who is a human. They call him Spider as they never knew his actual name and he has grown to be a good friend of the Sully family.

Jake: Ney, we need do something about Y/N’s behavior!

Neytiri: I know. We need to show him how much we care about him. He feels practically useless because we’ve neglected to raise him the right way with training him and showing him how much we care for him.

Jake: I know. I know. It’s just that…..He’s more trouble than he’s worth….He is nothing, but a load of failure….I don’t want to say it….but……..

Y/N sighed as he knew his dad was right. He was nothing, but a failure to the Sully name. He stops sharpening the blade and gets up before he turns to watch his parents continue to argue.

Neytiri: Jake! How could you ever say something like that?!?

Jake: It slipped out……I didn’t mean it that way or for it to com—

Y/n, cutting off Jake: No, Dad, you’re right.

The two Na’vi parents turn to their son as he held his knife tightly in hand.

Y/N: I’m sorry I could never live up to your expectations and standards. I’m sorry for being a failure. And most importantly, I’m sorry for ever coming into your lives.

Y/n then turns around and let out a long and loud whistle before running into a jump from off the branch he was once sitting on. Neytiri and Jake look at each other horrified before they run to where their son jumped off of. They only got to the edge to see Y/N currently riding on his fully white Ikran, Ro’nea, as the two rose slowly to the point where he could stare silently back at his parents. Jake and Neytiri look at Y/N in absolute astonishment and amazement that the white Ikran they saw earlier was, in fact, their son’s Ikran and the fact that they even saw him in action yesterday with taking out several ships.

Neytiri: So it was you….

Jake: Y/N…..

Y/N: I need time alone. You can send Kiri, to find me. She will know where I will be. I don’t care if I get grounded for life for this.

Y/N signaled for Ro’nea to fly away from the Sully home. Neytiri and Jake watched their son fly away in dispose as tears went to their eyes. Neytiri broke down crying as Jake pulled her into a hug and shushed her.

Neytiri: How c-could he ever t-think we think he’s a failure??

Jake: This is my fault. I need to make things right. We first need to find where our boy went.

Jake then used his communicator to contact Neteyam and Lo’ak.

— Elsewhere on Pandora —

— 3RD PERSON POV —

We currently see all the Sully siblings apart from Y/N running around with their good friend, Spider, who is the one Y/N picked up most of his profanity from. The five are all having fun as they explore the wilderness of the Pandora jungle when Neteyam and Lo’ak both get a call on their communicators from their father and both brothers immediately get worried about what’s going on. Neteyam answers the call.

Lo’ak and Neteyam: Dad, what’s the situation?/What’s the problem, Dad?

Jake: It’s Y/N. He’s run away to somewhere.

Neteyam and Lo’ak both look at each other with grim looks on their faces as they hear what the situation is.

Lo’ak: Where did he run off to?

Jake: It’s not so much “run off” as it is to actually flying away on his Ikran.

Neteyam: Wait, wait, wait, you mean Y/N actually bonded with an Ikran?

Jake: That’s right. Not only that, it’s a white Ikran. I think you know how special that bond is.

Neteyam knows just how special white Ikrans are to the Na’vi as they represent the Great Mother herself.

Neteyam: Where did he fly off to?

Jake: Neither me nor your mother knows where he went. He did say that Kiri should know where he’s going. Find him and bring him home. Please.

Jake then hangs up the call. Both brothers look at one another before they nod and go over to Kiri who heard then in the communicators with their father.

Kiri: Is something going on? I heard you two on the call with dad, but not what it was about.

Lo’ak: Y/N’s run away from home.

Kiri: What?!

Neteyam: The bigger issue is that he’s also bonded with an Ikran and that’s what he’s using to move right now.

Kiri: Wait, when did he bond with an Ikran?

Neteyam: Nobody has a clue. Dad said that you would know where he went, is that right?

Kiri: Yeah, he would join me in heading to a secret spot with a lake near where we are right now. He will most likely be there.

Spider then made his way over to the older Sully siblings.

Spider: Guys, what’s going on?

Kiri: Y/N has run away from home and Dad needs us to find him.

Spider: Shit. Any idea where he is?

At that exact moment, all of the Sully siblings and Spider saw a very distinctive white Ikran flying below them through the valley as they continue running along the branches that span across the valley. They try to spot who the rider is to see that it’s their runaway brother as they see the scars present on the Y/N’s face, identifying the rider as Y/N. The Na’vi teens and Spider then ran over to where they could try to shout to Y/N.

Kiri: Y/N!! Up here!!

Neteyam: Y/N! Where the hell are you going??

Lo’ak: Little bro! Stop!!

Spider: Hey, Y/N!! Up here, man!!!

Y/N paid no attention to his siblings nor to Spider as they shouted to the runaway boy. Kiri frowns at this while her brothers just shake their heads.

Kiri: We need to get to the lake before Y/N.

Neteyam: Agreed.

The three oldest Sullys and Spider went over to Tuk and told her they were going to go on a small adventurous journey to a hidden location, hiding the true meaning of why they were going to the hidden lake. Tuk beamed at this news and the five individuals began to quickly make their way to the hidden lake, hoping to reach it before Y/N.

Little did any of the teens know that a small group of Recombinant Na’vi led by a now Na’vi Miles Quaritch had just heard everything while they watched from a distance.

Quaritch: Well, well, well. It looks like the bastard and bitch knocked up. Walker! Mansk! Get on your banshees and follow that little flyer fuck! The rest of you, with me! We’ll use the rest of the little fucks as bait for the real prizes.

Quaritch then let out a a dark chuckle as the Recoms get onto their Ikrans and begin to secretly follow Y/N and the rest of his squad follow the Sullys and Spider.

— 20 minutes later —

— Y/N POV

I smile as I reach my secret spot away from home. It’s a small area that is surrounded by massive trees that hide the peaceful aura that surrounds this place.

(This is what I had in mind for it or something like this at least with much taller trees like on Pandora.)

I got off of Ro’nea and sat down in the shallow water away from her. I close my eyes and just enjoy the peaceful nature and it’s sounds around me. The feeling of the lake water splashing against my body, the sounds of the Pandora wildlife like the sound of Sturmbeests drinking water from the lake a fair bit away from me, and the peaceful aura of nature that is the epitome of Eywa herself. I look over to check on Ro’nea and see her being herself.

She takes a bit of time to stretch her wings and then she looks at me with an uncertain look on her face, trying to ask if I’m okay. I shake my head while smiling and head back over to her, I then gave Ro’nea a hug with her wrapping her wings around me, basically returning said hug back to me. I’m glad that Eywa chose for Ro’nea to be my companion, for she and I are both one of a kind. However, I noticed something very strange when she let me down from hugging me, I saw a blue and teal Ikran with Na’vi decked out in military gear fly down into the brush, as if they were following me. I grab my bow, quiver of arrows, and my knife from Ro’nea’s harness and tell her to fly away so she doesn’t get hurt. She understood and immediately flew to a hiding spot both of us knew about that would allow her to hide unseen until I called for her again. I strap my quiver to my back, sling my bow onto the small catch I put onto the quiver to hold my bow to my back, and sheathed my knife into its sheath. I quietly make my way through the brush to see the two Ikrans from before, but with only one of the riders I saw from before. He was currently checking his gear so I used the opportunity to snuck up to the strange looking Na’vi while I grab one of my serrated arrows and break the bottom of it off, turning it into a small serrated blade and quickly put it to his throat.

Walker: What the fuck…..

Y/N: Surprise, asshole. Now listen carefully.

Walker: you really think you scare me, that’s hilarious.

Y/N: I really could not give a fuck what you think, asshat. Now, you’re gonna tell me how the hell you found me and what the fuck you are doing here.

The weird-looking Na’vi only laughed at me before I felt a sharp pain on the back of my head before everything went black.

— 3RD PERSON POV —

Y/N fell to ground unconscious as he was pistol whipped over the back of the head by Mansk, saving his fellow Recom sister-in-arms.

Walker: Thanks, mate.

Mansk: Of course, my friend.

Walker: Let’s get this little bastard to the boss. He’s gonna have a field day.

Mansk: No shit.

What the Recoms didn’t know about what that the Sully children and Spider had watched the whole thing involving their brother. They quietly watched in horror as Mansk grabs Y/N by his braids and started dragging him away to meet up with Quaritch.

— 7 minutes earlier —

— 3RD PERSON POV —

The Sully children along with Spider outside the general area of the hidden lake that Kiri led them to.

Lo’ak: So what exactly is this place, Kiri?

Kiri: It’s a location that Y/N has found when Dad let him go have a free day to himself. Y/N tried sneaking out one night on foot and Dad had me take my Ikran to follow him. I was amazed by the area that Y/N lead me to and he made me promise to never tell anybody about it, but I have regretfully broken that promise by bringing you guys here.

Kiri pushes some bushes aside to reveal the beautiful hidden lake. Everyone is in awe at how perfect everything is.

Tuk: This is pretty!

Spider: Holy…..

Neteyam: I now see why Y/n and you wanted to keep this place a secret.

Lo’ak: This place screams tranquillity…

Kiri: We need to find Y/N fast.

Tuk: There!

Tuk pointed over to where everyone saw the alone Na’vi boy getting hugged by his Ikran which surprises everyone, even Kiri as she has never seen anything like that. Everyone then sees the Recombinants flying on their Ikrans to a landing zone further into the tree brush and Y/N gets a grim look in his face. They see Y/N tell his Ikran to hide before she flies off with Y/N preparing himself.

Kiri: Who was that flying in? It doesn’t look like anyone we know.

Spider: They’re probably dipshits who stumbled upon this place.

Kiri: I don’t think so, Spider, they weren’t anyone from the clan at all. I’m worried about what they are doing here as apart from us and Y/N, nobody else knows about this location, not even Mom or Dad.

Lo’ak: We need to do something!

Neteyam hits Lo’ak upside the head.

Neteyam: No shit. Also, keep your voice down, you idiot. We need to figure out what those Na’vi are up to and figure out how we can get Y/N out of here so he’s not in danger.

Lo’ak: Heads up! Y/N’s on the move.

Everyone looked to see Y/N quickly make his way into the brush to find the Ikrans that landed over there. After continuing to follow Y/N, they watched the events unfold and saw the other Recom pistol whip Y/N over the back of the head before helping his fellow Recom up. He then dragged the now unconscious Y/N very roughly away by his braids.

Tuk: No….Noooo!

Kiri: Tuk. Come here.

Tuk quietly burst into tears at the sight of what happened to her brother while Kiri pulled her into a hug as her own tears begin to fall. Spider was pissed off at what the Na’vi did to his best friend while Neteyam and Lo’ak were already thinking of the ways they would make the Recoms regret hurting their little brother.

Neteyam: Those bastards…..

Lo’ak: Those fuckers are going to pay.

Spider: Assholes! Both of them are dead!

It was only then that a loud gunshot was heard, luckily nobody was hit as the bullet hit one of the trees and everyone turned to see a bunch of Na’vi in military gear a few meters away from them that were carrying with guns and a now Na’vi Miles Quaritch holding his pistol with a still smoking barrel up into the air.

Quaritch: Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.

Neteyam: EVERYBODY SCRAM!!

The Sully kids and Spider then ran in opposite directions with Lo’ak and Spider running North, Kiri and Tuk running to the West, and Neteyam running to the East.

Quaritch: Find them! We will not let these little bastards escape!

— 10 minutes later —

— Y/N POV

I felt myself coming to as I felt a massive pain from my head as I realized I was being dragged by my braids. I look around to see it’s the same two guys that were following me before I was knocked out. I look around my body to see if I still have any weapons and to my luck, I still had my knife in its hidden sheathe, I grab it and plunge it into the kneecap of the guy who was pulling me along by braids. He let out a scream of pain as he falls to his left knee in pain before I sock him across the jaw, knocking him out. I quickly grab the heavy revolver that was in his holster.

(The gun)

I silently pray to Eywa that my self-taught gun training will pay off as I swiftly pull the hammer of the revolver back and shoot the second Na’vi that was with us in the shoulder, knocking her off her own feet and to the ground. I then run over and turn the revolver so I now am holding it by the barrel before pistol whipping the Na’vi that was wounded across the face, knocking her out. I pant as I let out shaky breaths before I saw my oldest brother running towards me.

Neteyam: Y/N!!!

He gave me tight hug as he saw the carnage I caused to the two Na’vi.

Neteyam: Fucking hell, bro. Remind me not to piss you off.

Y/N: That doesn’t matter right now. Neteyam, how in the fuck did you find me?

Neteyam: Kiri brought us here.

Y/N: Of course she did… who else is with you?

Neteyam: Tuk, Kiri, Lo’ak and Spider were with me, but we all got separated. We need to find them.

Y/N: No shit.

Neteyam got onto his communicator to call Lo’ak.

Neteyam: Lo’ak, are you and Spider play?

Lo’ak: No, not good, Spider was taken, bro. I found a place to hide at an uprooted tree, but I don’t know where Kiri or Tuk are at. Are you good?

Neteyam: Yeah, I found Y/N. Listen to me, okay? I need you to stay hidden, Y/N and I will look for our sisters. Understand?

Lo’ak: You got it, bro. Stay safe.

Neteyam: You do the same.

Neteyam gets off the call.

Neteyam: Listen, we need to find out sisters, we need to find Kiri and Tuk. I saw them running west, we need to get to them before anybody else does. Let’s go!

Y/N: Right behind you!

— 5 minutes later —

— Still Y/N’s POV

I follow closely behind Neteyam as we stop, seeing Kiri and Tuk, however, we were too late and they were tied up to trees with three hostiles around them.

Neteyam: Shit. We were too late.

Y/N: Not if I can help it. Nete. I need you to trust me, okay? When I start drawing the enemies away from Kiri and Tuk, I want you to take the chance and free them. Go find Lo’ak once you do.

Neteyam: What?!? Are you insane?!?

Y/N: There’s no other option. This is the only thing we can do right now.

I jump down from our vantage point and make my way to an opening where the three Na’vi Recoms can see me.

Y/N: Hey assholes! Over here!!!

I used the revolver I kept from earlier to fire a warning shot at the three hostiles before they started chasing after me with their pistols drawn. I lead them away from Kiri and Tuk so Neteyam can use the opening I’m creating to his advantage. I continue to drawn them further and further away towards a steep cliff overlooking the lake when I heard a loud gunshot and I am met to a sharp pain in my shoulder, causing me to be forced off-balance which sent me over the side of the cliff as I continued to run towards it and down to the water below. Luckily, I land on the shore, I look around for the revolver from before, but I soon found out that I lost it when I fell from the cliff. I now have another problem with my shoulder being in intense pain, I put my hand to my shoulder and only feel torn skin around a hole that wasn’t in my shoulder previously. I knew I had been shot. It was then when I felt myself being grabbed from behind by my braids again and I’m forced to turn around to face an evil looking Na’vi.

(It’s Quaritch)

Quaritch: Well, it’s nice to meet the demon spawn of the man who stabbed me in the back. You’re a lot more trouble than your worth.

The Na’vi then got onto his radio.

Quaritch: Everyone, regroup on me. I want someone to bring that human boy back to the base. I have a special someone who I believe can get us what we want.

I was then being dragged away by my braids once again as I clutch my wounded shoulder in pain. I try to fight the feeling of passing out, but I fall unconscious due to the nasty mix of pain and tiredness.

— 3RD PERSON POV, BACK WITH NETEYAM —

Neteyam watched as his youngest brother drawed the enemy Na’vi away from the area, which allowed him to move to Kiri and Tuk and free them from their bindings.

Kiri: Thanks, but what in the hell is Y/N doing?!

Neteyam: Ssshhh, keep your voice down, I need you to regroup with Lo’ak, Spider was taken, but Lo’ak found a hiding spot that you can go to. Head to the tree that has been uprooted, that’s where he are hiding. I need to help Y/N.

Kiri: Got it. Tuk, I need you to stay close to me, okay.

Tuk; Okay, sis.

The two Sully girls quickly and quietly run to where the hiding spot is while Neteyam ran in the direction of where his brother ran. He caught up only to see Y/n get shot in the shoulder which made him tumble over the edge of cliff. Neteyam couldn’t believe his eyes and tears come to his eyes as he knew that his brother was in big trouble, but he could not do anything with so many enemies around the area. He turned around before retreating to where the rest of his siblings and their good friend are hiding at. They need to make a plan.

To be continued….

Thats Pt. 2 for you. I hope it was not too long and too wordy. Anyways, I wanted to say that I never expected people to actually my idea of “"Useless” and “Troubled” until the End.” I hope people enjoy reading Pt. 2 as much I enjoyed writing it.

[froglover7789]

Why don't the prequels work as Vader's backstory? It's literally about how anyone no matter how good or well intentioned has the propensity for evil if they let themselves make bad decisions.

Narratively I think it's beautiful and tragic that way.

i think the prequels r actually about how corruption and manipulation and desperation and fear can ruin a person---not just bad decisions :3c and the prequels r consistent with some of the messaging of the originals in that way but that doesnt necessarily mean they serve as a good backstory

heres a handful of reasons why i dont think anakins back story really works with vader:

the originals imply that anakin and uncle owen are blood brothers or at least grew up together. owen sees anakin in luke and this is something that would only really be possible if owen knew anakin well as a teenager. this is also the reason why owen doesnt tell luke about the jedi; he thinks that luke will, like his father, run off to become some sort of war hero and die in the process bc thats what he thinks happened to anakin (some ppl think that owen suspects anakin became vader but i think this is a stretch). the prequels establish that they dont know eachother and didnt grow up together. owen doesnt know anakin outside of what he mightve seen in war/ republic propaganda and thats not very indicative of character. this also raises questions about why obiwan gave luke to owen/ why they took him in in the first place. it makes more sense for anakin and owen to have been very close bc then obiwan wouldve heard of owen and would genuinely trust him to raise his best friends son and owen wouldve cared enough about luke to raise him as his own

what we're led to believe in the originals is that anakin was a powerful jedi who lost sight of what he was fighting for. we're led to believe that he was torn, that the war corrupted him, that war isnt the answer. this works bc the originals r meant to be symbolic of the vietnam war (where the empire would be america) and so this idea of the consequences of war and the importance of peace is a huge part of the originals message. while this is somewhat supported by the prequels its undermined by the fact that anakins fall is mostly bc of YEARS of grooming starting from when he was a kid. this wasnt a normal, good man who lost sight of what was right and crumpled under the weight of a war. this was a man who was the most special of them all and fell bc he had space hitler literally whispering in his ear since before he knew he was a person. thats not the same thing at all! and that steals the implication that vader could have been any soldier, any general and makes his story all messy

side note- leia has vague memories of her mother which means padme shouldntve died in childbirth and should probably have died/ left the twins when they were at least a year or two old. this would also give more reason as to why the lars have luke call them aunt and uncle rather than mom or dad. i think what probably shouldve happened is that padme got pregnant right before anakin was shipped out at some point so he didnt know he had kids before "dying" and she ended up getting involvef in the rebellion/ fearing for her kids safety and had to get rid of em. literally anything else than what happened in canon lol like wtf is dying of heartbreak get OUT

my final thought i can think of rn is that having hitlers right hand man be a slave is just kinda a strange backstory? like i cant be the only one who doesnt like that. idk. doesnt feel right :/

obv most this stuff is just preference and obv you can argue against most of it. the prequels Do technically work but theyre not great backstory. im also not a fan of how the jedi order and all that mess was established. like you can only be one if youre raised one since diapers but luke literally didnt know what the force was until he was 19 but he ended up being one of the most powerful jedi ever??? yeah. makes perfect sense. :////

i do agree that the prequels r tragic and beautiful in their own right. i think the story they tell is good in some ways and bad in others ans one of the ways they r bad is how they tie in with the originals lol

hope this answers your question :3c or at least helps you see where im coming from :33

[skelavender]

“Still, my mom is going to imply…” “I know. It’s not serious. I mean, it’s not like we’re married or anything.” Scully chuckles and pushes up onto her toes to press a kiss to his cheek. “Now that’s not going to help dissuade the rumors, Agent Scully.” He teases. “At this point, I don’t think there’s any hope.” OR After a year of platonic marriage, things start to change.

read chapter one of you are in love on ao3, or below the cut!

One look, dark room

Meant just for you

Time moved too fast

You play it back

Buttons on a coat

Light-hearted joke

No proof, not much

But you saw enough

***

November 1996

There are flowers on Mulder’s desk. 

A bouquet of… well, Mulder’s not great with flowers, but they’re all purple. There’s lavender, he knows that, and what he’s guessing are violets and irises. The last he can’t recognize, but it looks like a purple daisy. Maybe it is just a purple daisy? He didn’t know they made those. 

As he steps further into the office, he notices Scully behind the desk. She had been gone when he woke up, which was unusual for them, but had left a note on the coffee maker saying she had some errands to run before work and she would meet him there. It was folded and in his pocket. 

“Good morning,” she greets.

“Hey. Who sent you flowers?”

Scully raises one eyebrow and a small smirk graces her face, a challenge. “Check the card.”

He looks at her with curiosity and approaches the desk. He plucks the card out of the little fork, and when he unfolds it, he blinks dumbly a couple times.

Happy anniversary, sweetheart. 

Oh.

It wasn’t as though he’d forgotten. Of course not, not in a million years. Her gift is waiting at home, on top of the bookshelf in their home office where she could neither see nor reach. That was part of why he’d been disappointed when he woke up to a cold bed. He had wanted to give it to her before work, but she left before he got the chance. He had ordered personalized stationery for her, paper being the traditional gift for a first wedding anniversary, from a store down in Rosslyn. They have Special Agent Dana Scully, M.D. letterpressed across the top in green, with a notepad to match. 

“I don’t think anybody has ever gotten me flowers before.” He notes with a dreamy tone to his voice. Scully has impressed him.

Her satisfied expression softens. “I’m glad I could be the first.”

“Thank you, Scully. I love them.”

“You’re welcome.”

“God,” he laughs and ducks his head. “I can’t believe it’s been a year. It’s flown by.”

“It has, hasn’t it.”

“It seems like just last month we were averaging a hospital visit every two weeks.”

Scully snorts, “Not that we’re that far off.” 

Mulder chuckles, and rounds the desk to peck her cheek. “I didn’t forget, by the way. Your gift is at home. I’ll give it to you this evening.”

“I didn’t think you had.” She mirrors the small kiss and Mudler retreats to the chair Scully usually sits in. If she wants the desk today, she can sure as hell have it. 

***

Scully pulls up outside her mother’s house and parks the car. She’s unbuckling her seatbelt when his hand shoots out and stops her. Her eyes shoot up to meet his, one brow raised.

He’s been thinking about it since Maggie called him to extend the invitation to the dinner. When they were first discussing getting married, Scully was concerned about her mother finding out. She had mentioned to him that she didn’t think her mother would keep the secret, but he suspected that she was afraid she wouldn’t approve of what was essentially a sham union. 

But Mulder wears his ring, and people tend to be curious.

Most of the time he can get away with vague answers that aren’t really lies, but he knows Mrs. Scully would grill him about it. He can only answer so many questions by talking about Scully without really talking about Scully before her mother notices. 

“Your mom still doesn’t know, right?”

Scully knows what he’s talking about immediately. “No. Only that we’re living together.”

He slips his ring off his finger and holds it out to her, “Will you hold onto this for me?” Her mouth forms a little O. “She’ll have questions. There are only so many ways I can skirt them.”

“Of course,” she says. Her hands trace the neckline of her cardigan. He’s about to ask what she’s doing as he’s still holding the ring out to her in a flat palm, until the gold chain pops out and she undoes the clasp.

It would be so easy to forget about it. That she also wears the ring. That their union isn’t one-sided. That she’s as intertwined with him as he is with her. She wears it openly at home, sometimes, but the necklace remains hidden when they’re out and about. Despite that, Mulder, with a possessive streak that he tries to damp down, remembers. The image of her ring laid against her chest, or the fleeting vision of it on her finger for a couple days in the hospital, is settled into its own corner of his mind. He thinks of it more often than he’d like to admit. 

Scully plucks the ring from Mulder’s hand and slides it onto the chain. It clinks into place next to hers. Two hearts, strung together. 

“Thank you for mentioning that, I hadn’t considered it,“ The thought of hiding you hadn’t crossed my mind, she doesn’t say. She tucks the necklace back into her shirt and goes to unbuckle her seatbelt again. “You ready?” 

Mulder nods, and they approach the Scully residence. 

“She does think that we’re dating, you know.” Scully says as they walk up the pathway side by side.

“Really?”

“I tried to explain we’re living together because of the convenience, but she was not convinced.”

Mulder’s hand goes to the small of Scully’s back as she does up the couple steps onto the porch. “I’m not surprised. She always seemed to think we were…”

“I know. But now she’s pretty damn sure of it.”

“You did your best.”

Scully wonders how different things would be if they were… romantically entangled. Would he have fought her mother’s Thanksgiving invitation so hard? Would his hand be in hers, or around her shoulders, instead of on her back? Would he drop a kiss onto her lips on her mother’s front porch before facing the crowd inside?

She steps back and her eyes crawl up and down Mulder’s form. One of the buttons on his shirt doesn’t match, she notices. The cleaner would have attached a closer match, so he must have done it himself. 

Who had taught him to sew a button? It’s not a skill she would expect him to have. She can’t exactly picture his mother sitting him down to teach him. Every time Scully thinks she finally knows Mulder, finally understands him, something new surfaces that makes her rethink him. 

Scully sucks in a breath and refocuses. “Still, she’s going to imply…”

“I know. It’s not serious. I mean, it’s not like we’re married or anything.”

Scully chuckles and pushes up onto her toes to press a kiss to his cheek.

“Now that’s not going to help dissuade the rumors, Agent Scully.” He teases.

“At this point, I don’t think there’s any hope.” She rings the bell.

“Dana! Fox! Oh, it’s so good to see you both.” Maggie swings the door open and greets them with her usual warm, excited smile. She takes each of them in for a hug and kiss on the cheek.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Mom.”

“Happy Thanksgiving, Mrs Scully.”

Maggie slaps his arm playfully. “You call me Maggie, Fox, how many times do I have to tell you.”

“Alright Maggie.” Mulder smiles at his shoes. Mulder fucking loves Maggie Scully. She offers affection so freely, in a way Mulder isn’t used to experiencing, especially not in a familial manner. He wasn’t raised with this, with hugs hello and being allowed to call friends’ parents by their first names. It’s foreign to him. She’s been trying to get him to call her Maggie since she started feeding him while Scully was gone, but it had never stuck. 

“Bill and Charlie are in the living room, why don’t you two go sit with them while I check on the bird?“ Maggie offers.

“Tara and Marcel couldn’t make it?”

“No, Tara decided to go to her parents last minute, and Marcel is, well, Polish, so he didn’t want to come back over with Charlie for an American holiday.” Maggie winks at her daughter. “You’re the only one who brought a partner this year, Dana.”

“Mom, that’s not—“ Scully sighs and runs a hand over her forehead in exasperation before deciding to just drop it. “I’m surprised Charlie was able to get the time off, he usually isn’t.”

“I’m not teaching this semester,” a new voice explains, Mulder turns around to face a burly looking redhead. “I’m focusing on research and writing. Makes it a bit easier to get away for American holidays.” He turns to Mulder and offers a hand, which the agent takes. “You must be the Agent Mulder I keep hearing about in Dana’s emails. Charlie Scully.”

“That would be me. It’s good to meet you.”

“Dana says you just go by Mulder?”

“With a first name like mine, you’d go by anything else.”

Charlie laughs, “So tell me, Mulder, has Dana ever told you about what happened at her senior prom?”

“No, she has not.” Mulder replies, tone keen and interested. He turns to his partner, “Scully, am I about to unlock embarrassing childhood stories?”

“Charlie, you promised you would never tell anyone!”

Charlie taps his fingers together conspiratorially, and begins regaling Mulder with the story as they enter the living room. 

Upon introduction to Bill, Mulder understands why Scully had laughed so hard at a joke he once made about the two of them having an affair. Bill hides his contempt for Mulder poorly, with a pinched smile as they shake hands and the occasional glare. When Maggie calls them into the dining room to gather for the meal, Mulder sticks to his Scully’s side and Bill settles himself on the other end of the table, at the head. 

“Mom, that was delicious,” Scully says as she pushes her chair back. She then turns to Mulder, “Should we get on the dishes?”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, Dana.” Maggie protests, rising from her seat.

“You cooked us an amazing meal, Mrs. Scully, please let us clean up.” Mulder places a hand on her shoulder to encourage her to stay in her seat and converse with her sons, and he and Scully retreat to the kitchen with piles of dishes in hand.

“You wash, I dry and put away?” Scully offers, and Mulder nods. 

“Thank you for inviting me,” he says after a few moments of quiet washing. “I was afraid it would be awkward. I mean, Bill doesn’t seem to like me very much, but Charlie seems nice.”

“I can’t believe he told you about Marcus.” Scully laughs, “That story is so embarrassing.”

“I’m just glad to have finally earned your embarrassing childhood stories. It’s like I’ve reached the next level of friendship.”

Scully snorts. “Right, Mulder. Step one is they bail you out of jail, step two is they shoot you, three is get married, four is buy a home together, and five is learn about their senior prom. That’s the natural order of things.”

Maggie watches from the other room as Mulder tilts his head back to let out a full belly laugh. Dana elbows him, and he deposits a smear of suds onto her nose in response. As she observes the ensuing playful water fight, Maggie can’t help but hope they soon see what she does, what she’s sure Charlie has picked up on as well, what Bill might still be unaccepting of. There’s so much affection between the two of them. Dana looks up at Fox with a look that she’s never seen on her daughter’s face before, one filled with raw affection. Maggie can tell that whatever they have, it’s coming to a head. Something is there. Everything is there, glowing between them.

Plus, Fox has a thin strip of paler skin on his fourth finger of his left hand, right where a wedding ring would lie. 

next chapter ->

[hugheswritetr]

Stars

MASTERLIST

Heartbeat | Jack Hughes

Author’s note: Theo’s and Quinn’s party era, enjoy ( I do NOT promote underage drinking, but I’m european and 18 is drinking age for us, so I don’t think it’s big deal;) ).

Song: My eyes - Travis Scott

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Thalia’s POV

The stars are the only source of light right now as I’m sitting on the grass, but I’m still feeling fairly calm.

Okay, I’m lying, I’m freaking out.

It’s been a few hours since the phone call. My grandparents called me about the inheritance. Even though my mom is the official care taker of the bussiness now, they still have shares of it. The shares that will go to me once they pass, making me officially own everything.

The thought of this is making me shiver, because once I turn 21, everything will be on my shoulders, and I don’t think im that excited for it.

I am happy to be the heir, don’t get me wrong, I love the hotels, the business had been in my family for years now. My dad loved them dearly, taking care of the whole bussiness since he himself turned 21. It’s tradition at this point, and a beautiful one. But even the beauty of my family’s hard work transformed into the prosperous company is not quieting the doubting questions in my mind.

Will I be able to take good care of it? Will I make him proud?

I know I will not be 21 for a while, but it’s still pretty insane to think about how I will be signing documents for million dollar company and not even having a drink before it.

I’m pulled out of my trance by Jack walking up to me ,,Hey Lils, what are you doing here?” he curiously asks, sitting down beside me.

“ I’m just thinking,, the nickname making my heart race. “About what?,, he pushes, I don’t really want to talk about it so I give him a vague answer “life,, .

Jack, being the person he is, still pushes “ what’s there to think about?”. I sigh, thinking about the harm of telling him, and when I find nothing I answer.

“I’m thinking about the hotel,, I tell him, making him nod. These talks usually happen with Luke, but he is away at some tournament, so Jack it is. “I was on the phone with my grandparents earlier and it kinda made me freak out,,

Jack nodded, urging me to continue. “I just feel scared, you know, I don’t know if I can handle everything,,

“It’s normal to feel scared Lils, but I know you,, he starts “I know that everytime you go somewhere, you have everything organized. I also know that you are one of the kindest people I’ve ever met,, his words making me calmer and calmer.

“And I also know there is a reason you are the heir, I do not have one doubt about you screwing it up, and even if you do screw up, I also know you are not alone ,,

I don’t know if Jack Hughes was motivational speaker in his past life, but his words make me almost ready to inherit it now, take note on the word almost.

I don’t expect him to continue, but he does. “When you were living in New York, you lived in the hotel, right?” he asks.

“Kinda, the hotel had penthouse at the top, that’s where we lived,, I asnwer him making him widen his eyes. “Jesus, I know you are rich, but I kinda forget how rich,,.

“Yeah,, I laugh and then continue ,,If you saw the size of my closet then, you would have constant reminder, I got lost in that thing weekly.” I recall the times when my closet had its own. I kind of miss it, now my shoes have to be stacked up on another shoes. Poor babies.

“Did your mom sell the penthouse ?,, the next question follows. “No, it’s kinda hard to sell, not everybody wants to live on top of a hotel”

“Do YOU want it to be sold ?,, the question catching me off guard, nobody ever asked that. “ I’m not sure, on one side, we don’t live there anymore, but on the other, It’s kind of the last thing I have left of my father, the memories there” the thought of selling the place where my most cherished childhood memories happened brings tears to my eyes.

Jack scoots over, hanging his arm over my shoulder making me lean on him. “You know Lia, it’s totally normal to feel like that, but I also now that the memories are not in the penthouse, but in you”.

“Wow Jack, the pucks to the head did not make you dumber, I’m surprised,, I joke, trying to steer away the conversation because I don’t want to cry infront of him.

It’s like he knows what I’m doing, and he plays along “Shush , I’m very naturally smart, instead of some people,, he emphasizes, and ruffles my hair.

“Oh shut up ,, I laugh and subconciously lean more into him. We sit here, looking at the stars in complete silence, and I think that’s the most peaceful I’ve been this summer.

“The moon is pretty, isn’t it ?,, he asks, pulling me out my trance. Not as pretty as you, I think, but I choose instead to only hum in acknowledgement.

Our peaceful trance is interrupted by our brothers, very drunk brothers. They are stumbling and yelling, we shot up to help them, laughing in the proccess.

“Thalia! What are you doing here?!,, my brother giggles, giggles. I don’t think I ever heard that sound coming from him. “Jacky boyy, you are here too? Hope you are not trying anything,, he tries to raise his eyebrow, but fails miserably at it.

Quinn is not better either, the usually calm brother laughing at us. “Come on man, let’s go home,, Jack says to his older brother, chuckling. He spares the last glance at me “Bye Lia, good luck,, he says, making my brother frown. “Bye Theo, don’t throw up too much,, he says goodbye to my brother too.

“Don’t try me kid !,, Theo screams at him, once again trying to be intimidating but failing. As we walk down the path to our door, his next sentence catches me off guard, “you like him”.

,, I don’t!” I shriek, the attempt at concealing it already failing. He catches on, even drunk, hockey players and their stupid intuition.

I don’t know what’s up with me today, but why is everyone suddenly good at reading me? They should honestly stop, I’ts kinda making me feel uncomfortable.

I’m not even going to try and fight him “It does not matter Theo, he doesn’t see me that way.,,

The next sentence he mutters makes me squirm, wondering what he knows. ,,He will”.

As he finishes his proclamation, we reach the door. I ignore his last words and warn him. “ You have to be quiet now, Mattheo, or I swear to god” I look him dead in the eyes.

“Geez Louise, Okay Okay,, he raises his hands in defending stance. We stumble up the stairs, hopefully not waking anyone in the house, by anyone I mean our mother.

When I open the door, I nearly colapse. My mother is sitting there, on his bed, with knowing look in her eyes. “Well, well, well, where have you been young man?,, she questions, making my brother stand there like deer in headlights.

“ I’m kidding, I already know, maybe try to turn off the location next time,, she continues, making him release a sigh of relief.

“You knew?,, he asks “Of course, we were all young once, and you inherited your fathers non existent talent for sneaking out and in, good night,, she laughs as she leaves the room.

In return we laugh too, Mattheo plops down on his bed and by the time I calm down from laughing, he’s already fast asleep. I sigh, walking out of his room thinking about the blue eyed boy and my apparently transparent adoration for him.

[oceangirl24]

Saudade: "I Never Sang for My Father"

"Nothing good ever happens to Shawn Hunter" was so ingrained in him he often felt that someone had written his life story in such a way as to doom him to a never-ending cycle of misery.

The reality was somewhere in his life when he was very young, someone had put this idea into his head. The memory was vague, but he remembered a teacher had spoken these words over him. It was perhaps not those exact words and was more like "nothing good has happened to Shawn Hunter" or "nothing good will happen to Shawn Hunter" that was actually said. Whatever the original phrase was, it stuck in his head as "nothing good ever happens to Shawn Hunter".

And it was so apart of his core that he was undeserving of good things happening to him that he lived it out for over 30 years. In those moments when something good did happen to him, he was unable to accept it and, in most cases, actively rejected it.

Just like he'd rejected Jon for so long.

The ultimate good.

Shawn sighed and let his chin drop to his chest. When he looked up again, Chet Hunter stood in front of him, looking very much alive.

He froze in shock.

He hadn't seen Chet since he'd been home.

His biological father leaned lazily against the couch. His plaid shirt unbuttoned down to the fourth button so that his white beer-stained t-shirt showed. These shirts were tucked into faded blue jeans.

Chet stared at him with glassy eyes.

"So now you know what happened to Teach," he said in a gruff, almost accusatory tone.

Shawn narrowed his eyes at the apparition. "Yeah, I do."

The corner of Chet's mouth twitched. "You happy now?"

"Gettin' there."

Chet stared at him impassively. "Tell me, Shawnie, is Mr. Perfect, Joe Cool, everything you imagined him to be?"

Shawn didn't know how to respond.

When Chet showed up post-death, he was always humble and contrite with a wisdom and grace he did not have in life.

The snippy, critical bite to his words now threw him off.

When he didn't answer, Chet threw up his hands. "You wish he'd been your dad instead of me don'tcha?" He swore at Shawn. "I did the best I could for you, Shawnie! I had my own problems. You weren't the only one who never had nothing good happen to him. You think life was easy for me? It wasn't! I did all I could do. Couldn't do nothing else."

This is what Chet was like when he was alive, making every situation about him and never taking responsibility for anything he did. Shawn's eyes narrowed as the old familiar feelings of anger, resentment, hurt, and fear rose up in him.

"Yes, you could've," he snapped back.

Chet's glared at him. "How?"

"You could've come back and talked to me, told me the truth- that you were happier without a wife and kid. Happier with the alcohol than with me. Then you could've left me with someone who cared about me!"

Chet swore again and turned away. When he looked back, his eyes were red-rimmed and angry. "You adored him! He could give you things I couldn't. I could never compete with Teach. But you were my kid! I deserved the adoration you gave him."

Shawn paused and reminded himself that this was not the real Chet. However, that fact made this encounter even more confusing as he was no longer in control of it.

Chet was going off script.

Way off script.

And it pulled his thoughts past Katherine and losing Audrey to losing Jon. Those feelings that had been dredged up from the depths of him exploded through the surface.

"Then why did you agree to let them adopt me and then come back and say no?! Why did you let me go to New York to get Mom and then lie to me about Dad and that nurse?!"

His words hit Chet and instantly drained all color from him. He withered into a sick old man. "You callin' him Dad now? You gave him my name?" His voice was weak and trembling. "That's why, Shawnie. Without the stories I had nothin'. You loved him more. Stories were all I had to keep you with me."

Read the Rest:

AO3 FFN WattPad

[winter-spark]

So like I'm attempting to fill out this ship chart meme thing. Like those ones where you introduce the ship and mark up bars and answer questions about them. Anyway point is now I'm thinking about Itaru referring to Citron as his wife, work vs streaming.

Work:

He accidentally one time said wife and whoever he was talking to latched onto that detail and never forgot. Itaru tried in that moment to just keep going and not focus on that detail for long because explaining in person to people who see you every day that "no, not my actual wife but my troupe mate who plays the part of mom, where I play the part of dad, in our Spring Troupe etude that has become a running not really gag but a constant in our dynamic to the point that yes I just accidentally referred to him as my wife but like he's not like really my wife it's like an inside joke of sorts" is more embarrassing than basically saying as much in a Mother's Day blog post just saying "yup" when someone's like "oh, you have a wife?" He doesn't actively bring up his wife. But sometimes they ask and he wants to appear normal and not at all overly avoidant on the topic so he gets conversations like:

Co-worker: Oh how's the wife? Itaru: Oh yeah, uhm, my wife is great. Was pretty happy we went out for sushi last night. Co-worker: Oh wasn't one of your toupemate's big on sushi? How fun, they probably get along. Itaru, sweating: Yup.

Chikage does eventually find out this is a thing and promptly makes fun of Itaru for it. ("Do they know about your kids?" "Don't you dare.")

Streams:

Since his stream followers don't know he's an actor at Mankai, I feel like if he was ever gonna mention Citron the safest way to keep his own identity on lock is to refer to him as "my wife" because so many people have wives it's totally not gonna give him away in the slightest. (as I type this I realize roommate/neighbor is also technically options but I didn't think of it at first so who's to say Itaru did immediately instead of immediately after a stream or two of refer to Citron as his wife.) So his followers know of Citron as his wife.

Of course, Mankai watches his videos sometimes but those are more commonly his uploads on their own time rather than his livestreams so story time in his lives. I think Citron would find out about it though and encourage but also sometimes be like "As your wife" where most of Mankai will assume it's the Spring Troupe family etude but Citron and Itaru both know it's about Itaru referring to Citron as such.(which was technical because of the Spring Troupe etude so it's not too far off lol)

I bet Banri also finds out like he just so happened to watch a stream where Itaru mentions "my wife" and Banri immediately texted him about it. I don't think Itaru does it often but the more he does it the more often he's gonna end up doing it ya know? Lol if that's how he accidentally ended up saying my wife at work which adds another layer to him not wanting to properly explain.

So yea. I just thought that was funny and I wanted to write it out so there you go. Me working through vague ideas in real(ish) time.

[parkvcrs]

Discord

SUMMARY: while quarantine is mandated as covid spreads, midoriya downloads a particular app and finds himself crushing on one of its users.

PAIRING: izuku midoriya x fem!reader.

WARNING(S): none. <33

NOTES: this will be a discord au, as you probably suspected because of the title. also, i hope that you all enjoy this since i’m a bit iffy with the final product… :’).

It had been precisely a month or three since U.A. High School had no other choice but to usher their students into a mandatory quarantine due to rising cases of COVID-19 in Japan. All classes were locked inside their respective dormitory buildings and given the number of students contained in such a space, social distancing and other procedures were strictly enforced.

To Midoriya Izuku, he was indifferent to their situation.

While a part of him is grateful to spend more time in his dormitory to focus more on his studies, Izuku couldn’t help but feel saddened. It would be even more difficult to do the physical exertions of his routine. He didn’t want to disturb anyone else in the 1-A building with his workout. That’s when numerous questions began to plague his mind.

When will this all be over? Will things ever be normal? When will he be able to see his mom again, face-to-face?

He was sure getting tired of seeing his classmates every single minute of the day. While it was enjoyable to tie stronger bonds with them all, it was almost like Izuku hardly has any time to focus on himself. To recharge his social battery.

It didn’t take long for Kaminari Denki, Ashido Mina, and Kirishima Eijiro to introduce a few of their classmates — Izuku included — an app called “Discord”. In short, it is a voice, video, and text chat app to use to talk and hang out with their communities and friends.

As soon as it was brought to Izuku’s attention that this app was mainly used to make online friends, he was reluctant to download it. It went against one of the most basic rules that everyone learns as a child. Don’t talk to strangers.

Well, that and not taking candy from them.

However, Izuku was getting desperate. He longed to converse with someone that wasn’t a part of the Heights Alliance dorms. And desperate times call for desperate measures. Swallowing his pride, Izuku bit the bullet and finally decided to download Discord. It took Izuku approximately five minutes flat to create his account but when all was said and done, he stared blankly at his phone when he realized that he didn’t know how to use the app.

“Kaminari,” Izuku said, his gaze remaining on his cellar device as he walked into the living room. “How do I work this thing?” He asked.

“What, your phone?” Iida Tenya raised a brow at the vague inquiry.

“No, no…” Izuku cartoonishly waved his arms around to dismiss the assumption. “I-It’s, well, this app that he keeps bringing up… it’s confusing…” he mumbled under his breath.

“Ah.” Denki awkwardly laughed when this was brought to his attention. “Should’ve given you a heads up about that. Sorry,” he scratched the back of his neck before getting up from his seat and making a beeline towards the renowned green-haired boy. “I’ll give you my account to friend and I’ll just invite you to Mina’s server. Just to get you started.” He briefly explained.

The next few minutes were filled with Mina and Denki luring over Izuku who tried to figure out Discord. He has never had anything like the app before, so his puzzled behaviour was excusable. “So…” Izuku trailed off. “All these people are… strangers to you two?” He tried to strike up a conversation, despite knowing the answer to it.

“Not really, no,” Mina instinctively shook her head. “I’ve known these people for years now. Made sure that they weren’t creeps. If you want to make friends there, I strongly suggest S/n Y/n. She’s a sweetheart.” She crossed her arms over her chest as she praised this so-called ‘Y/n’.

“Oh, yeah! I forgot about her!” Denki admitted. “She’s so cool, man,” he nodded his head in agreement. “She’s that one. Right there.” Denki proceeded to lean over and point at one of the few online accounts on the server.

“What should I do then? Send her a friend request?” Izuku blinked with surprise. He doesn’t know how to talk to girls as it is. He then considered the idea that talking online might slightly be better since Y/n wouldn’t have to bare witness to his rambling.

“I mean, yeah. Do it!” Denki egged on his classmate. Mina followed suit, chanting Izuku’s name.

Succumbing to the peer pressure, Izuku requested to follow Y/n only to have it instantaneously accepted. Wow, that was quick, he thought to himself. As soon as the pair beside him saw that Y/n accepted it, they couldn’t help but smile. “Well,” Mina spoke up and stood to her feet, grabbing a hold of Denki’s sweater to tug on it slightly. Hoping that he’d take the hint. “Hope you two have fun talking. Remember: be yourself.” That had to be the worst piece of advice that Izuku has ever heard.

Izuku could only watch, hopeless, as his two lifelines floated away from him before — inevitably — leaving the premises.

Bashfully peering back down at his phone, Izuku felt a lump form in his throat and his heart drops to the dark abyss in his stomach when seeing that he got a DM from none other than S/n Y/n herself. Chewing on the inside of his cheek, he slowly opened it.

Today at 10:38 PM

y/n.: hello. do i know you?

Deku: No, but I’m friends with Kaminari & Ashido… I just joined Discord and they suggested you to be my first online friend.

y/n.: oh.

y/n.: well… 0-0;; i’m honored??

y/n.: what’s your name?

Deku: Midoriya Izuku but my friends just call me “Deku”. :]

y/n.: in that case, it’s lovely to meet you, deku. my name’s y/n.

The next hour or so was filled with the pair introducing themselves, and discussing their likes, dislikes, and hobbies. Izuku had formed an attachment to Y/n. He didn’t want to, given that he doesn’t know her in real life but his heart had other plans. He didn’t know why he had given the whole idea of making online friends a hard time… perhaps because he is too much of a mother’s boy to disobey Inko. He complied with almost everything she requested of him.

Today at 11:05 PM

y/n.: so…

y/n.: what do you look like?

y/n.: (if you wanna show me ofc. don’t have to)

Deku:

y/n.: oh wow :0

Deku: What?

y/n.: not to be weird but you’re really cute ngl

And as simple as that, Izuku felt his face become flushed. He lays on his bed, surprised, how on earth was he supposed to reply to a compliment like that? It had to be the very first time that someone, aside from his mother, had praised his looks. His heart felt as if it was going a hundred miles per hour. Letting out a shaky sigh, Izuku snapped back into reality and resumed his chat with Y/n.

Today at 11:12 PM

Deku: Really? You think so?

y/n.: i know so. 😭

y/n.: trust me

y/n.: i’m not trying to be weird but you’re, like, a solid 9/10.

No, Izuku thought to himself. This had to be some sort of prank. His situation seemed a little too good to be true. He wasn’t necessarily trying to fess up to the idea of him being easy, but Y/n’s words did affect him greatly. Even so, Izuku didn’t want to crush on someone online.

A crush would make him feel like a weak, soft-hearted little boy. The complete opposite of what he strives to be. It would be a dangerous attachment for when he officially becomes a Pro-Hero.

"Midoriya, you look troubled." Mina points out the obvious as she re-enters his room. Izuku looks away. Despite such measures, the pink-coloured student didn’t miss the red flush on Izuku’s cheeks, and before he can bring it up, Denki burst into the bedroom as well.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! I’m fine,” Izuku reassured, offering them a weak smile in hopes that they wouldn’t notice his apparent blush.

Mina squints, "It's hard to believe you with that expression on your face."

It was true, he was head over heels for Y/n.

“I…” Izuku was at a loss for words and looked like a deer in headlights. “I’m sorry?” He apologized, despite it not being needed. It was really the only thing he could do other than to usher his friends out of his bedroom.

“Don’t say that!” Mina waved off Izuku’s apology. “How’s Y/n?” She eventually asked.

“S-She’s nice.”

“Oh?” Denki raised a brow at the statement. “Well, just so you know, she’s been texting us at the same time,” he said, matter-of-factly. “She’s a complete simp.” He finished.

“Simp?” Izuku cocked his head at the term as his eyebrows knitted together with subtle confusion. He had absolutely no idea what it meant.

“She likes you, Deku.” Mina spelt it out for him and, at this statement, Izuku’s mouth is left hung agape. “Okay, we told him,” she harshly whispers and looks up at Denki. “Let’s get out of here.” They closed the door behind themselves but their muffled giggles can be heard as clear as day.

She likes me, Deku smiled to himself.

[zestyaahbutler]

amulya has inspired me to write a fic about integra’s childhood but i have no clue how to go about it. do you think amulya is a large part of integra’s life despite dying so early on in integra’s childhood? do you think integra thinks about her often as a figure of influence? does integra remember anything vividly about her mother?

Waaaaah! Thank youuuu

That’s so amazing that I’ve inspired you like that. I have gotten obsessed with her mom so I’m glad I have infected others.

I do want to give you some writing advice. Nothing spec but it’ll keep you from putting yourself in a corner. If you don’t want to shackle yourself to a plot or want to jump around to different topics, start with short vignettes!

I have done this with Amulya. It allows you to jump around to whatever topics you want. If you ever want to continue one story for a couple of chapters, you can certainly do it. Especially if you’re uploading to a site like a03, I found the series feature very helpful. If you ever want to add a chapter, do it to that specific story but still keep it connected with the other pieces.

BTW Anon, I am unsure if you were curious about this; I don’t mind if people write about Amulya. As with fanart, I am all for it. All I ask is to tag me. If you have any specific questions about her personality/behavior, let me know!

If you wanted to keep things much more vague and inspired, I would start after she died. Depending on if you want to write about how others were affected by her death or just Integra would factor in on what age you would start at. If you want it centered around others and do small stories, 4-5 is great. If you want it more centered around her and it be more personal, 8-13 is great. It would be so interesting if you also did one in her teenage years since she had neither her mother or Arthur.

If you want any inspiration, I would suggest checking out my story ‘Those That Grow In Their Place.’ This one is a small story I did about Integra and Walter gardening together.

Amulya's Role and Influence In Integra's Life

Answer under the ✂️

I do think Amulya is still a large part of Integra’s life. Integra would know her mother was sick and that is about it. Amulya’s death was a little more extreme of course but it was nothing for a child to know. She died when Integra was 3. Amulya does influence her personality. They are both very stubborn people. Very argumentative. Arthur is equally determined but much more in line with his goals. Much more business oriented. Amulya and Integra are more likely to look out for others as part of their goal.

Integra and Amulya smile in similar ways. They both have a catty, mischievous look to them. Integra is very much a mix of her parents but takes after Arthur more as she grows up. Any of Integra’s soft caring looks are likely similar to her mothers. Her and her daughter share some serious eye bags. Amulya’s eyes have much darker circles to them.

In another post where I discussed some WalterxAmulya junk, I mentioned that her and Integra have the same knock. It starts out soft, if the other party doesn’t respond then it’ll become a little louder. Walter will sometimes expect her mother to come walking in when it is just little teggy.

Integra did still have Saris, and I’m sure even was able to wear some of her mother’s. Arthur still celebrated Hindu Holidays despite them both being Protestant. Integra was still fed Indian food. Walter was taught personally, so Integra would know Amulya’s cooking from him.

Her fashion does influence Integra. Her and her daughter share the same madness odd taste in hats.

She still sees her mother in pictures, a few paintings. I’ve debated on videos. Arthur is a rich son of a bitch so I wouldn’t doubt he would invest in something to film Integra. Most cameras around the late 70s to early 80s were huge and heavy though. It would be a nice thought that Integra would have a few videos of her mother. Maybe I’ll cheese it and say Arthur got early access to some nice portable at home cameras. Amulya also had left voicemails on phones in the house so Integra would be able to hear her mother’s voice. It would be simple messages. Arthur would have saved a few where she sounded especially cute and expressed her love for him. She had an Indian accent which would be interesting for Integra to hear. If there were videos of her, there is no doubt one Amulya made for Integra for whenever she is older. Her mother also left her a few letters. One for a few off hand topics on growing up and one goodbye note. She always loved Integra deeply and made sure to write how much she really meant to her even if she didn’t feel strong enough to be there.

Integra would definitely think about her. She asked her father plenty of questions about her. Arthur would answer most unless she hit a nerve in which he would redirect her to Arthur or Milana(Amulya’s previous psychologist who really just works for Hellsing). Arthur never took Amulya’s death well and was grieving over it till his death. There were definitely some days where he came off as cold or distant to some of her questions. His drinking didn’t help either. Amulya’s death definitely affected both Arthur and Integra’s life in this aspect. Integra would never understand her father’s mood on certain days or why he kept drinking when it was how he got sick.

She got varying opinions from her father, Walter, and others. Her father never spoke badly of Amulya. Often talked about the love they had and how happy she was to have Integra. Arthur tells their first meeting and bringing her back to England like Amulya was a princess and he swept her off her feet.

Integra wonders about her mother. Any child who loses a parent at a young age will do this. Some days are sad and wishing they could be there. Even she ended up crying some days and asking her father or Walter why she couldn’t be there. These times were rare but becoming emotional does happen. If she ever got into an argument with her dad, she may wish she had her mother around to hug. It isn't the same as losing a parent later on in life. There is still some emptiness but in the way she never got to experience her mother's presence more.

When growing into a young woman, she’d look at pictures of her mother to see how she compares. She may have even tried replicating her mother’s makeup from pictures. She would wear her perfume on special occasions, likely when she goes to an important business meeting.

Walter or Milana are likely the best two people Integra can go to question about her mothers philosophies. Integra’s questions would range from how she felt about her dad, how Amulya felt about her, if her mother also fought vampires, or what her mother would think of her at a certain time in her life.

Her view of her mother is very rose tinted. She does feel some bitterness for her not being there but it isn’t much. When she does learn about how her mother dies when she is much older, she would have mixed feelings on the matter. It isn’t something she would expect and she’d definitely have to process it.

Integra has small bits and pieces of her mother scattered in her memory. She does remember her mother with short hair. A really clear view of her mother smiling at her. Perhaps how her mother’s slim fingers felt when she grasped them or a short taste of her mother’s Samosas.

I appreciate you asking! This was wonderful to answer as I was able to touch on some stuff I have previously not mentioned. It’s great when people come in and do this because I will not do this on my own unless kicked into gear by copious amounts of inspiration.

I wish you best of luck on your story. I really look forward to seeing it if you do. I love everyone’s interpretations of stuff. It is always refreshing and exciting.

I also wanna share a song that reminds me of Amulya:

[fox1656]

An Itchy Situation

Jake was over at Alex's house to spend some time lounging on Alex's bed. He wasplaying some of Alex's games while Alex worked on something on his computer. The two boys had been hiking in the woods behind their houses almost a week beforehand, and Jake got a cut on his knee. This particular day, the scab was itching, and threatening to drive Jake crazy.

Jake absentmindedly started scratching his knee, and when he felt the scab, he started messing with it. Absentmindedly picking at it with his nail.

After a few seconds, Jake felt the scab give way with a sharp, stinging sensation. Jake quickly clamped his hand to his knee, before the blood could run down his leg. His hand made a nice loud plat!

From cross the room, Alex turned his head at the sound. Jake had set down the game, and he put on his biggest, most reassuring smile.

Alex cocked an eyebrow. "What was that?"

"O-oh. J-just a bug that landed on my knee. Nothing to worry about." Jake tried to smile bigger to convince Alex that all was well.

"Oh, okay," Alex said, not really buying it. "You should probably get rid of it then."

"I will, I promise. You can go back to your project," Jake said, his face going sober and more reassuring.

Alex turned back to his computer and continued working. Jake's smile faded and his eyes widened in slight panic. How was he supposed to get to the bathroom without getting caught? He awkwardly got up off the bed and hobbled to the door, hand still clamped to his knee.

"Hey Jake?" Jake froze. "Why are you walking like that?" Alex hadn't even turned away from his computer. How did he know?!

"I-I just don't want the bug to get away." Jake stood frozen on the spot, wondering if Alex would buy it.

Alex slowly turned around. "It's really just a bug? Come on, let me see."

Alex got up out of his chair, and Jake jerked upright quickly, thoughts of his scab fleeing as he tried to assuage Alex's suspicions.

"I-it's okay buddy. You don't have to...oh..." Jake felt a warm stream of blood oozing slowly down his leg.

Alex's eyes went to Jake's knee, and then back up to Jake's face. Alex's lips tightened and he let out an exasperated sigh. "Jacob Michael Turner. What. Have. I. Told. You?" Alex's words were accentuated by each step he took closer to Jake.

Jake's face blanched as he tried to back towards the door, his face screwed up in panic. "B-but Jake's a good boy. I-I'm a good boy. It...it won't happen again..."

Alex, knowing he had scared Jake enough said, "It better not." His face was inches from Jake's. "You're gonna scar if you keep pulling off scabs. Plus, it's gross. Your mom wants us to look out for each other.

A single tear escaped Jake's eye." I...I know."

"Good," Alex said, his expression softening. He really cared a lot for his friend, but he also liked to mess with him. They both knew neither one of them would ever hurt the other purposefully. Jake was still terrified of Alex though, since Alex was the stronger of the two. "Now, go get cleaned up."

Jake didn't answer, he just scurried off, bare feet making slapping sounds on the floor.

Hope everyone enjoyed the story. If you've read this far, please comment how old you think Jake and Alex were in this story. I leave it vague on purpose, and want opinions!

[mishasminion360]

If Only In My Dreams

Zach Wellison x fem!reader

Warnings: Fluff; smidgens of angst; mentions of war; a little Christmas magic.

Summary: It’s never been harder to be in love with a marine when the man in question is overseas for the holidays.

A/N: Sorry to get all depresso but….this past October I lost my father very suddenly. My biggest supporter; my best friend. Mom and I barely made it through Thanksgiving and now Christmas is hitting me hard. I’ve spent the last week thinking how I’d give anything to have him here for the holidays, and my angst spawned this idea. Everyone, please remember to cherish your loved ones, especially during the most magical times of the year. I hope that 2023 will be a better year for all 😊

You can’t recall a Christmas that’s ever felt colder. Even with the fireplace roaring you can’t seem to feel the heat. His embrace warms you more than any flame.

He’s been gone for a year but it feels like 10. True to his word there hasn’t been a day where you and Zach haven’t spoken via Zoom, or a week where there wasn’t a postcard from parts unknown waiting in your mailbox.

The last letter you’d received had been accompanied by a small box. A ring box. An empty ring box. At the bottom of the postcard, following his missive, was a P.S.

“Think about it and get back to me.”

You didn’t have to think about it; you’ve had the answer locked and loaded since the day you’d met Zach Wellison. Now you just need the man to give it to. Home safe and sound.

That odd letter had arrived a week ago, and only silence followed. Now here it is Christmas Eve and you’ve never been more aware of your loneliness. The lights on the tree don’t seem to twinkle; the hot chocolate just doesn’t taste as sweet. All of the holiday magic has faded away, replaced by a heaviness that settles into your head and your heart.

***

You’re halfway through “Elf”—vaguely chuckling at the absurdity of Buddy’s holiday antics—when there comes a knock. You fly to the door faster than the narrator in “Twas the Night Before Christmas”, eager to investigate your late night visitor.

A FedEx driver is the last person you’re expecting to find shivering in the snow on your porch.

“Don’t you folks get the day off?”

“Not as long as there are still important Christmas packages to deliver into the right hands.”

He hands you a small cardboard envelope and instructs you to sign on the dotted line. You watch him wander all the way back to the warmth of his waiting truck before tearing open the envelope and fishing around for its contents.

You can only stare in awe at the diamond ring that falls into your palm, glinting like a snowflake that’s caught the light of the moon.

“Well, what do you say?”

God, you hope it’s not a dream; a holiday hallucination. There he stands on your front lawn, stateside, adorned in his fatigues and rucksack at his feet.

You’re off the porch and tearing through the snow, launching yourself into Zach’s arms with enough force to send you both falling into powder.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” he chuckles, wrapping you in those arms you’ve been longing for. You’re instantly warm regardless of the slush filling your pajamas.

“It’s always been ‘yes’, Wellison.”

He slings has pack over his shoulder and carries you inside just as the clock strikes midnight.

“Looks like I made it just in time. Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

Zach doesn’t let your feet touch the floor until you’re beneath the mistletoe.

@grimeylady @rav3n-pascal22 @mamacitapascal @insomniamama1 @pedrosbisch @emmaispunk @lv7867 @reonlouw @hawaiianmelodies @pascalsky @pascalpanic @heythere-mel @healingstardust @delorena @pedropasxal @caesaryoulater @kiizhikehn-cedar @hellovanessax-deactivated202209 @fangirling-alert @fromthedeskoftheraven @axshadows @dragon-scales88 @spacepastel-blog @spideysimpossiblegirl @pbeatriz-blog @hauntedmama @mswarriorbabe80 @horton-hears-a-honk @wild-at-heart-kept-in-cage @a-trial-run-on-paper @oonajaeadira @foli-vora @dhadiirah @felicisimor @practicalghost @luz-introvertida @amneris21 @hb8301 @tanzthompson @littlemisspascal @dobbyjen @supernaturalgirl20 @alexxavicry @harriedandharassed @trickstersp8 @neganwifey25-blog @twistedboxy @emiemiemiii

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Eighteen

Back in Clontarf, I perch at the gleaming, marble island while Jude prepares dinner. I watch him doing it with undisguised interest, because he cooks the way that I imagine he makes art, fully absorbed, with precision and confidence, and completely and utterly in the flow of his own enjoyment. He connects his iPhone to a Bluetooth speaker and plays music for a while, until Ivy bursts in and complains that she can’t focus on her homework with all of the noise.

He switches it off for her, but even in the silence he moves around to the beat of the music in his head, with a smile on his face that only endures the more stupid questions I ask him about what he’s doing. He’s making a spice mix in a pestle and mortar, he’s coating the fillets in flour, that’s actually rose water, not vanilla, yes, he taught himself how to do this, those flowers are actually totally edible, they’re not just there to look good, so a shallot is actually stronger than an onion, that’s why he’s using it. He prepared a lot of it earlier, marinating fresh fish in harissa for hours, and par boiling the potatoes so that they’d be oven ready by the time we got home from visiting Jen, and when I ask him where he found the time to do all of this he explains that he was simply procrastinating, because he doesn’t want to write his thesis. 

We eat at the dining table with Ivy, who shovels the food into her mouth in the span of about five minutes despite her complaints about it tasting bad, and gives a series of very bored, one word answers to his questions about school in between mouthfuls. He reminds her that she should practise for her piano lesson tomorrow and tells her that he can’t collect her from afterschool hockey so she’ll have to get the bus. It occurs to me that this is perhaps the most un-sibling like relationship I’ve ever witnessed. Perhaps it’s a symptom of their age gap. 

“Where’re your parents tonight?” I query once Ivy rushes off to her bedroom to reconvene whatever teen girl things were interrupted by dinner, and he looks down at his plate. “Working late again.”

“Seems like they really like to work.”

“They sure do. Or they really like not having to be in this house.”

He’s said things like this to me before, these kind of vaguely troubling statements about his parents in very casual, matter of fact ways, as though they’re entirely absent and have no love for each other whatsoever, and this is something he finds normal. I’ve never asked him about it before, and something I’ve never quite been able to handle the idea of broaching, but now, since we’re… kind of, sort of going out with each other it suddenly feels important to know whether his expectations for his own relationships are different to his parents’ strange marriage.  

“What is it about them?”

“We don’t have to discuss these grim things about my family, it’s alright.”

“We don’t have to, but I think I’d like to know about it.”

He pushes his food thoughtfully around his plate. “They just shouldn’t have gotten married, I suppose. I think they meant well initially but it’s ultimately done more damage than good.” He glances towards the closed door and up towards the ceiling, where his sister is, and lowers his voice a little bit. “I think they’ll probably get a divorce as soon as Ivy finishes school.”

“Oh.”

“I’m the reason they’re married, and she’s the reason they’re still together. They had this amazing idea at one point that having another child would solve all of their issues, but now they’ve just trapped themselves in a bind for an extra nine years. They could be blissfully divorced by now, but they won’t do it until she’s moved out, because they don’t want to disrupt her schooling.” 

“How old were they when you were born?”

“Nineteen and twenty one.” 

“Oh, God.”

“Yep, big mistake. Whoops.” he tosses a chunk of potato into his mouth and leans back in his chair. “Mom finished school and went to stay with her aunt in America, took up a job at a department store in Albuquerque, hooked up with a med student at a bar on her first month there, and well…” He throws up his hands in mock celebration. “Here I am!”

“I suppose that being unmarried with a child wasn’t really an option for your mother at the time.” 

“No, not at all, I mean, she had come from catholic Ireland. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to live at home again unless she married the man from that bar.” The way he speaks about his father is strange, as though despite his presence in their lives, he’s still some random, nameless med student from San Bernardino. 

“And then what?” 

“Well, then my dad continued school, and my mom began her studies and my great aunt took care of me on and off until my dad got his doctorate degree. Then they had Ivy, on purpose, by the way, and when she was a baby we moved back here.” He shrugs. “That’s all.”

I breathe out a laugh. “You’re so cagey.”

“Am I?”

“Yeah it’s like you don’t want to talk about them, or your home life, like, ever.”

He doesn’t look like he’s all that bothered by my interrogation, he just gives me this self-effacing little smile. “Come on, Evie. It’s because this stuff is boring.” 

“I don’t think it’s boring at all.” 

“Well, okay. They didn’t want to be together, they shouldn’t have had kids, and they act like they never did because they barely parented either one of us. Has anyone ever told you that you’re bad at letting things drop?”

“Yeah, loads. Has anyone ever told you that you’re bad at talking about serious things?”

“Of course.” The corner of his mouth quirks up and he lifts my arm from the table to kiss the inner part of my wrist. “Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are?”

“Yes, you. Tell me what it was like for you when you were growing up.” 

“I’ve told you loads about my childhood already though.” 

“Yeah, you have, and I loved hearing about how badly behaved you were and what it felt like to live in America, but I wish you’d get into the guts of it, the real stuff.”

“The real stuff?”

“The stuff that makes you so clearly sad. You get that look on your face whenever it comes up.”

He hasn’t let go of my wrist, and now his thumb is gently stroking the skin that he kissed a moment before while he stares out into the garden through streak-free glass patio doors, and he chews on his lip before deciding to speak. “Well, when Ivy was born I stopped being a kid, I suppose. My parents didn’t have a lot of interest in caring for either of us, and I was lucky, because my great aunt in Albuquerque did all of that for them when I was little, but when we moved here the support system really fell away. Nobody had considered that. We have my mom’s parents, but they’re about as warm as she is, and even though we’d be dumped over to theirs at the weekends, it wasn’t like we had especially fun or memorable times. Usually we’d get some bucket of crap toys from the seventies and whatever was on the three TV channels that they had. They were okay, but Ivy was a really nervous toddler. She didn’t like being around unfamiliar people, to the point that our grandmother would have to roll her bottles down the hallway to where she was hiding at the bottom of the stairs so that she’d drink anything at all. She just screamed whenever either of our grandparents came near her. It just wasn’t working out, so we eventually stopped having to go, and by then, when I was like eleven, it just made sense that I’d look after her instead.”

“What did that involve?”

“Everything. Feeding her, dressing her, putting her to bed, shopping for food, toys, eventually bringing her to the creche. She used to go to the childminders while I was at school, but only until I finished at three or four o’clock, and then I’d swing by and get her. A child collecting another child, like, I don’t know if they’d let that kind of thing happen anymore, but it was a small family run childminders, the kind of lawless place where they have this one old granny looking after about twelve children in her house and everything and anything goes. My mom used to come home and cook dinner for a while, but she was delighted when I got old enough to do that for her too. It meant she could stay out of the house for longer and do whatever she used to do. Have affairs or whatever.” He huffs out a laugh. “I mean, I really don’t know if that was ever the case but I wouldn’t be that surprised. Everything got really confined because of Ivy, you know? I always had to be home, and helping, and collecting and living my life on this schedule while all the other teenagers were just being blissfully selfish and… just teenagers.”

“But you had time to yourself, surely?”

“Yeah, at night when my parents were finally home from work, but I mean, yeah, it wasn’t about not having time to do hobbies or hang out with my friends, it was about having to do it at all. It was about having to consider those things. Nobody should have to parent their siblings, it was really stifling and really unfair. If my parents wanted another child then they should have been prepared to take care of her. You can’t just offload that responsibility onto the older child. I resented it, and I still do.”

I spear my fingers into the side of his hair and run my hand down the back of his head. “That’s why you went to Berlin.” 

“I just didn’t want to do it anymore.”

“You shouldn’t have ever had to.”

“Right.” He hesitates and his teeth rake over his lower lip, pulling the skin until it’s taut and white. “I just feel like going to Berlin was the most selfish thing I could have possibly done though.”

“No way.” I say. “It forced your parents to do what they should have been doing all along, and look after your sister.” 

“Yeah but it didn’t really do that. I look at Ivy now, and she’s doing a lot of those things I used to do for her all on her own. My parents never stepped up like I hoped they would, so she’s just becoming another teenager with too many responsibilities, and parents that will divorce as soon as they can and leave her without a solid base to come home to when she’s in college. And then, you know, on the other hand I think about Jen, and how bad everything has become for her and I know that if I’d stayed, and if I’d been here for her then maybe I could have-”

“It’s no use thinking that, Jude. You had to be on your own for once. You can’t hold up the whole world on your shoulders.”

“I’m selfish.” His voice is acidic, and the moment I feel his fingers loosen on me I grab a hold of his sleeve, because all of a sudden it feels vitally important to keep a connection between us.

“You didn’t get a proper childhood. I’d be even more selfish if I were you. You need to be doing the things that you want to do, seeing the world, partying with your friends, all of that stuff that you’ve been doing for the last four years. It’s all food for your soul.” 

“You’re too forgiving of me. It’s okay to say that I’ve been generally inconsiderate.”

“You’re way too hard on yourself.” I say quietly. “And you know that’s not true. You’re a good person, and you were always so nice to me, even when I was quiet and shy. You made an effort to talk to me at that time that Jen invited me to that modern art exhibition in Dublin, and you made me feel so included and asked so many questions about me even though I felt so nervous around you both.”

“I feel like that’s the least anyone could have done.” He says sulkily, as though he doesn’t really feel like being talked out of his mood. “The more I dwell on it the more I think there is something seriously wrong with me. Something that should have been figured out a lot earlier, but like, here I am, a twenty two year old, in the final months of my final year at college and I feel a bit… I dunno, lost, or something. I’m floundering, and I don’t really know who I am anymore. I swore I had it figured out at eighteen but now that seems laughable to me.”

“Nobody tells you how weird it is to be in your twenties.” I declare. “They insist that it’s amazing and fun and you’ll have all of this independence, but actually it feels strange and vulnerable, and there’s no rule book about how to navigate your way through it. One day you’re a stupid teenager and the next you live on your own and you have to know how to use the city bus and remember the pin of a debit card.”

“Yeah.” 

“It’s alright that you find it hard, is all I’m saying, and I for one, feel like I truly knew nothing about being an adult. To be honest sometimes I get a bit freaked out by how lost I feel. But then I try not to think about it, and I just go on with my day.”

“That’s your advice?” He says, with the hint of a smile threatening to crack through the gloom. “Just don’t think about it?”

“Probably shouldn’t be, should it?”

“I think that’s terrible advice, Evie.”

“Well that’s all I have for you.”

He leans into me and lightly kisses my jaw before going back to his food, and the featherlight touch of his lips sends shivers right down to my toes. “Well I think we should think about hard things.” He says. “I think that ignoring them only gives them more power, actually.”

“Maybe some things aren’t meant to be processed now. They’re meant for later.”

“How much later?”

“I don’t know. Just later.” I push the last of my dinner onto my fork and into my mouth and try not to feel self-conscious about the fact that he’s watching me like I’m under a spotlight. 

“I just want you to know that if you ever wanted to talk to me about any of the things that happened you in first year then-”

My chair makes a hideous scraping noise against the parquet floor. “Do you have any pictures of you when you were small?” I say, wiping my hands on the thighs of my jeans, and he blinks. “Um. Why?”

“Just when we were talking about your childhood, like,” I stack his empty plate on top of mine. “I was wondering to myself what you might have looked like as a little boy. That’s all.”

“There are some, somewhere yeah. I can root them out if you want.”

“I’d love that, would you mind?” I hastily pack things away in the dishwasher, and I put the plates in crookedly, and I can’t find where the cutlery goes, and Jude is there, and he takes the forks out of my hands and gingerly places them into the sink. 

“It’s fine. Leave it.” He says. “Come into the living room, I’ll get the baby photos out.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey Cas,

So I've been following you for a while and I've seen some of your asks including dancer anon and the advice you gave was really good and I think it helped a lot. That being said I am here to ask a few questions relating to gender,so if you don't mind I'll try to give you a little bit of context: So, I was raised far away from all of the Lgbtq+ community and I was shocked to find out about it. My family is very conservative and are completely against all of that but, I'm not. Anyway when I was around 9-10 I kinda started really feeling confused about my gender but my parents had always labeled me a Tom boy so I kind of just went with it, I dressed more masc but that was really it I didn't like being around guys at all and my friends were still all girls really the only changes were I played basketball and wore basketball shorts and plain t-shirts 24/7. When I was 11 I kind of tried out they/them pronouns and it was fine though it might not count as trying them out since I just sorta referred to myself as non-binary in my head it was okay. Then I did the same thing with gender fluidity swapping mainly just between she/her and they/them but it wasn't what I was looking for. I never really considered being male but guys had always made me a bit uncomfortable I don't think I have ever really had any like traumatic experiences with men and my mom was wierded out when I let it slip that I found pretty much all men (except my dad who I love) intimidating especially after she had told me about some horrible things that had happened to girls who had been kidnapped by men. I tried agender but it wasn't for me I felt connected to gender but like loosely and it didn't really freak me out unless I was referred to as male which has only happened a handful of times. Really I don't mind my body except for my breasts which I despise most of the time (sorry if this is to much) and I feel like I am stuck he to some amount of femininity.Also I'm not really bothered being called pretty or beautiful even if I subconsciously link those terms to something feminine and sometimes I feel pretty by myself but typically only by myself but I hate being called a woman or lady or being told to be ladylike. So my main question is are there any genders for a vague connection to gender itself but still linked to femininity? Thank you so much for reading through all those probably uneccesary details and giving me your time, please don't feel pressure to answer soon or at all and again thank you so much.

Love,anonymous

Hi!!! <3

First of all, I'm so sorry your family isn't very supportive.

As far as gender, here is a list of nonbinary identities that might work for you! Based on what you said about being somewhat linked to femininity, maybe check out demigirl?

<3