#my philosophy has always been if you don't like doing it. do something else

[the-hype-dragon]

writing is such an artistic thing like yeah you need to know the technical side just so you're not writing a complete trainwreck, but also you could write the most technically impressive book ever and it could still be a snoozefest and just outright bad if you also don't have an ear for dialogue or a grasp on character writing

so anyway like I'm not big on people who say oh the opening line has to like drop kick the reader or something, like ideally, yeah, you want to grab your readers' attention, but also. if the opening line is all your book has going for it, idk man. "oh yeah, Joel has a great grasp on grammar" I'm not sure if that's what you should be most concerned about when you're writing fiction. I don't know, I'm not saying grammar and technical stuff is unimportant; because yeah, trying to read something where the author doesn't know how to use punctuation is like being waterboarded, but also I've read really technically-skilled authors who just write bad books in general

anyway I feel like people who get real worked up about this are insecure as writers and might be projecting a little bit; and also yeah like I understand you took a couple creative writing courses in college, but that doesn't mean you're a good writer. idk. people who have a passion for writing aren't the ones out here talking about technical skills or how hard writing is, because usually when you love something that much it's not that hard to do it. and maybe if you ever find yourself thinking that writing sucks you're just not writing in the right genre for you, or maybe you really don't know what you're doing, in which case, go read a book and really think about what you liked about it and what you didn't like, and lay off reading writing advice from people who just want to tell you to go read Save the Cat, because depending on the genre, pacing and character writing are going to be quite different beasts and not everything has to be written as if it's meant to be adapted into a TV show or a movie

and anyway I find it telling people peddling this advice aren't really that interested in things like narrative voice or compelling character writing; much like how a person can be tone deaf when it comes to singing, I think a lot of people have a blind spot to this sort of thing and just don't pick up on it, and for whatever reason a lot of people just don't think this is important. honestly this last point is probably to do with the current state of things vis a vis art and artistry: why be an artist when you can be a content creator pumping out crap so you can make a quick buck. in which case, it doesn't matter if your writing is incredibly generic as long as it has a hook and is readable at a tenth grade level. but I think this is a big disservice to the art form

[rwbyrg]

So, we can all agree that when Oscar eventually gets his semblance, it's going to have something to do with Ruby, right? And I'm not even saying this from a shippy lens. Kid has an immortal wizard move into his brain at 14 that he can't kick out, immediately becomes a child soldier, lives through a train crash, countless grimm fights, crash lands a plane, gets shot in the chest, falls for - quite possibly - a few kilometres after blowing up a hole in the bottom of a military compound, gets beaten up and abducted by a goopy grimm super monster, magic blasted by his headmate's ex-wife, tortured and beaten up by a man six times his size, fights off Salem again to save his friends, and not ONE of those instances has been stressful enough to awaken it.

But both times he's talked about his semblance manifesting, it's been with Ruby. The first is in v5 after they spar and Ruby cheers him (and Jaune) on about getting there one day, while Ren makes a comment saying:

"One common philosophy is that a warrior's semblance is a part of who they are".

The second time is in v7 when Ruby does something new with her own semblance and Oscar asks if she's always been able to do that. Eventually leading to him lamenting again about how he's not unlocked his yet while everyone else's are evolving. And it's Ruby that responds with:

"Well, I'm sure we'll all be jealous when you do (figure it out)".

And then, from both Ruby and Oscar's perspectives, we are shown their attachment to each other. Ruby throughout V9 with Neo's illusions, and Oscar with - many instances - but especially in the recently released epilogue where he speaks at her grave. And in this speech we're reminded of that attachment as well as his struggles with identity. Specifically how those two things are intrinsically linked together:

"You always believed in the best. Saw people for who they really were. Some of us... don't know anymore. "

Oscar can't grasp his own personal super power that's "a part of himself" when he doesn't know who he is. He's losing himself to the merge, the boundaries of where he ends and Oz begins are blurring by the day, and he's only 15 and still growing into the person he could become. And the one person that was always certain of who he was, always made him feel like he was his own person... isn't around anymore. So he feels even more detached from his identity and the parts that comprise it than ever before.

But she returns in Vacuo before their final fight, and his semblance has been teased too many times to never appear. So my current guesses are either:

he's going to unlock it under stress to save Ruby from certain danger, because he "lost her once and won't risk it a second time"; or

he's going to unlock it in a different, maybe even quieter moment, where - once again, thanks to Ruby's certainty - he starts feeling like himself again.

Only one way to find out.

[snapscube]

i don't know if you said so on your recent Web of Shadows stream, but what are your thoughts on Insomniac's more casual style of web swinging vs. the more difficult, physics-based web swinging? I've been avoiding Spider-Man 2 footage, so I haven't seen any web swinging, but I'd love if they could incorporate some risk/reward aspect to make swinging more engaging.

i think there's been a big push from spider-man game fans to re-contextualize Insomniac's web swinging as underwhelming and too casual that's kinda unnecessary and does it a big disservice. THAT IS NOT TO SAY that there haven't always been people who don't prefer the very low skill floor and relatively low skill ceiling of those titles, and that's also not to say that it isn't a fair assessment when looking at swinging mechanics in a vacuum. something like Web of Shadows ABSOLUTELY has a lot more rewarding moments of web swinging because of its higher skill floor, and when you really get a feel for the mechanics you can pull off some crazy stuff that it feels like insomniac's take isn't even dreaming of.

HOWEVER, i reiterate, this is all totally true and not exactly in Insomniac's in favor when examined in a vacuum, but in reality these mechanics DON'T exist in a vacuum. they're very important yes, they're how you're gonna spend a majority of your time in game yes, so it's important that they have a baseline level of fun and satisfying enough risk/reward to sustain an entire playthrough, or maybe even multiple. but Insomniac's swinging mechanics are in service of a game that not only does MORE with its open world than many others previously, but also does pretty much everything else a LOT better. Insomniac's take feels a lot more like it's in service of creating a much more approachable Spider-Man sim, where you don't have to necessarily "figure out" the swinging mechanics as much as you might in WoS or in SM2 (PS2) because there's a lot of content they want you to be spending more of your time on, and they need you to feel like you are playing an extremely capable and seasoned version of Peter.

playing through even just the opening of Web of Shadows on stream this week really drove home how much the world just feels so empty in comparison. the swinging was admittedly more fun at times!! but that kinda ended up being the saving grace of an experience that otherwise is feeling very bare-bones. and ultimately, as much as i PERSONALLY like mechanics with a bit more physicality, and i don't necessarily think that needs to be at odds with a larger amount of other content, i think my point is that i don't necessarily consider the swinging a FLAW of the Insomniac games, just a representation of the design philosophy of this take. and the design philosophy happens to be one i really appreciate. they want you in there DOING stuff, sure swinging around idly is fun and it's a great way to get you from point A to point B in a more exhilarating fashion than a lot of games even come close to, but these games have a much wider target audience and i don't know how much the average person cares more about the physicality of swinging as much as they care about it being an easy way for them to..... *sigh* feel like spider-man while traversing a larger set of activities.

THAT BEING SAID.... the improvements so far in Spider-Man 2 look SO SO SO GOOD and they will come MUCH appreciated. It looks so much faster. I straight up might turn on fall damage for my playthrough, which IS a new option they added. it's gonna rule.

[jahnavisurenda-21]

Hazbin Hotel||Alastor X Reader||Stress Relief

Take a deep breath, before you yell at some poor face who just happens to have the misfortune to walking in to one of your days, where everything seems to be going south.

This seemed to have taken one of the most bizarre turns you could have ever imagined, you had no idea why you had agreed to such a trivial, petty matter.

Oh! Now you remember it was Charlie, who had clasped your hand looked at you with the doe eyes which reminded you of some of the Korean shows you watched as a teen and young adult.

You would admire the eye makeup, the most because once your dad who had been a makeup artist had told his philosophy of makeup to look absolutely flawless, the eyes and lips should be standing out the most.

Totally irrelevant, you didn't understand the point of recalling this faint memory of your dad. You wished you could just go back to your suburban house, in the mountainside feel the spring flowers touch your skin again, you can't believe you once hated them.

Well, you always, miss what you once never cherished and lost.

"Coming this far, can't believe all the messed-up hotel mess is on Y/n." Angel dust once told Alastor, "The civil examinations study there and study even after your dead!"

"A what now?" Alastor questioned, "Oh! you didn't know? Not very bad now, are you?" Niffty asked, climbing on Alastor.

"What exams?" Alastor had asked once again, pushing Niffty from his shoulder,

"You always are the last person to know about anything are you? Don't you have like special powers or something which you can spy on anyone?"

Alastor looked at them like he was just about to lose his smiling grin, but of course smile is the best makeup.

"So, you know right Heaven is facing some economical crisis they spent so much time providing the 'perfect after life' guess the angels forgot money doesn't exactly grow on trees." Angel said sarcastically. But some hints of satisfaction could be made out.

"How exactly is this related to Y/n now?"

"You seriously don't know anything." Vaggie interjected, "When you had mysteriously run of in one of your 'expeditions' Adam the asshole came to the hotel, not for the execution apparently in the weekly magazine or something in heaven there was about a mysterious economist, or a business manager who was really good at managing expenses and could stabilize the afterlife."

"Well that turned out nicely did it not?"

"Ugh!" Vaggie hit her head, "No you egocentric, piece of shi--"

"Don't try that with me." Alastor warned,

"Yeah yeah she's really good." Angel finished, "It was tracked to Y/n, now heaven knows that Y/n is still choosing to be in hell, Now they want her there in heaven."

"To help them manage there life."

"Y/n has to write a civil exam the hardest one, or else they would attack the hotel."

"Well they don't know who they are messing with."

You sniffled, "Can't do this anymore." You murmured, "Want to die."

"Now my dear, is that a word you should use when you are literally saving the hotel?" Alastor appeared like the shadow, like always.

"Alastor?" You slowly poked your head from the blanket, "Why dear you're a mess!" Alastor said moving next to you on the bed,

"Can I put my head on your lap?" You asked, he nodded cheerfully.

"So why did you agree to this my dear?"

"I didn't want to fail everyone the extermination is already scheduled earlier than expected I didn't want to crush Charlie's dream."

"You're working really hard, without sleeping, isn't that concerning? It's concerning me."

"Thank god your here!" You said,

Alastor put a hand on your tear-stained cheeks.

"It's time for a little rest. Dear."

"I can't the exam is in three more days I think, I don't know how time works in hell."

"If That Adam guy keeps bothering you, I'll just remind him why I am here."

You laughed, "I'm sure you will."

You kissed his cheek, "Thank you."

"Never forget to smile my dear, and now take care."

He switched of the lights, and saw you instantly hold him close before cuddling up to him, he really knew how to make you loosen up a bit.

[soracities]

Your account is absolutely wonderful.. I am assuming that it takes a lot of time and dedication to absorb so much art... I find myself drifting away, always exhausted from my job... So I guess my question is what do you do for work and how do you stay inspired?

most of my time is spent child-minding and while that has left me with very little time to read and watch the things i want--and can be quite exhausting in and of itself--i think there is a little trade-off in that children keep you attentive to the world around you in a way you would not otherwise be, if only because you have to be that attentive to answer all their countless questions. so in a sense there is some inspiration i glean from that.

otherwise, i think this blog sometimes does give off the impression that i'm more well-read than i actually am; in reality, i dance on the surface of a lot of artworks but am passionate about maybe a tiny handful of works, and maybe, like, two painters. i have a "to watch" list that far exceeds my lifespan given that i actually watch, maybe, 3 movies a year. i have finished one (short) book since 2023 started and it took me six months to read that. the books that i've managed to read over the years, i've read chiefly in bursts and almost always in time periods where i was lucky enough in that i didn't have much to occupy me; even then, i'm aware i didn't read as much as i could have done with the time i had, but i'm also the kind of person who cannot devour book after book endlessly, either--i have a very clear saturation point, after which i need to do something different.

i think this blog, more than anything else, is a kind of repository of all the little fragments of thoughts or books or the world that interest and catch me and that i want to keep, but what i actually spend time with and dive into makes up an absolutely miniscule fraction of that. there have been long months (and years) where i did not have it in me to maintain any kind of sustained attention to reading or poetry, but i think the ability to do so is a huge, often unacknowledged, priviliege that requires not just time and economic security, but also mental clarity. i'm saying this to stress that what you feel, especially with whatever demands your job makes on you, is entirely normal and not anything to be ashamed of: the toll bills take, that laundry takes, that cooking and cleaning and countless other errands take are not to be underestimated when you go into them already sapped of most of your reserves in the first place.

it's something i've felt quite often (and still do); carving out the time to read as much or as often as i would like to does require dedication which i do not always have the energy for. but i think for me, to answer your question regarding inspiration, especially during the times when i'm not reading anything, inspiration is in paying as much attention as i can to the world around me, no matter how tiny the details are. there's a quote by william stafford where he talks about the ability to have "one vivid morning" and then "chain myself to it for fifty years". i don't have any set "philosophy" on life, but that is one thing i have always lived by: i still remember a single razor of light i saw on the railway tracks one morning a year ago which caught me by surprise, or the time on the bus when the setting sun filled the top deck and i knew then by the colour of it that summer was coming, or when i got up close to a patch of damp moss to see all its tiny little hairs more clearly, or one afternoon five years or so ago when i bought some loose pears from a corner shop and they were the sweetest, most-melt-in-the-mouth-juiciest pears i'd ever had....i can obsess over the light through a window over and over and over again no matter how often i see it. my mother put some lilies in a vase in the living room a few weeks ago and the entire time i was enraptured with how the scent hit me everytime i'd come into that room. even after more than a week they still enraptured me; each time was like i discovered them all over again and that brightened my mood so immeasurably.

for me inspiration is chiefly about recognizing the things that bring me joy and then holding them as closely as i can. there's a game i've started playing if i'm on a long bus trip where i take the number of a random bus stop i pass and if it's lower than 2020 i google what events happened in that year and pick the one that interests me most: if i'm going to be on my phone anyway, i will be on it in a way that aligns with what i already enjoy (FACTS!) and won't drain me (social media). when i don't have the energy to finish or even pick up a book, i'm subscribed to sites like Aeon, Ordinary Plots, Diaries of Note, or grieftolight on instagram (shoutout to forever beloved @firstfullmoon doing the lord's work with that account, truly), or podcasts i like, which allow me to read or experience little bits and pieces here and there without the pressure or anxiety-inducing commitment. if there is a poem i love i try to spend as much time with it as i can, which often just takes the form of me writing it down (by hand, usually-- that part is important) into a ledger of poems i keep which i can return to whenever i want, underlining my favourite parts or just rereading what spoke to me (i also love going to exhibits or museums (which, luckily, are mostly free where i live) or taking note of all the random bits of street art i see)

a year or so ago i also started, and this has changed my life, to copy down some of my favourite quotes i've reblogged onto little cue cards and stick them on the wall by my bed. some are poems, some are bits of novels or scraps of philosophy, some are motivational tidbits, but all of them are things i want to be reminded of. it helps me remember the lines i most want to keep and also grounds me in an odd way, but more than that, it just makes me happy. if i'm doom-scrolling, or having a rough evening, i can turn to that wall and read the things that mean most to me.

i don't know if any of this helps, and i'm conscious of not putting these out there as a cure-all because i'm very aware of how quickly, and how easily, this society and its set-up can drain you. i am, though, a staunch proponent of approaching art (any kind) and your engagement with it from a place and a pace that is true to you, before anything else, and that includes taking into account your own circumstances and what would bring you the most enjoyment within the means you have available to you: sometimes that's a 20 minute radio interview about blackholes, sometimes it's counting how many birds you pass as you walk through the park, sometimes it's 150 page novella it takes you half a year to finish. whatever it may look like, center your own pleasure first. i hope this can give you something, anon ♡

[summercreolefanfictioner]

would you like to find out pt. 2 (diabolik lovers modern college au)

pairing: ayato sakamaki x yui komori (feat. kanato and laito)

summary: everything started with a reckless, "I wanna know how it feels like to date."

themes: mostly humor with mentions of nsfw

note: part 1 here

Ayato absentmindedly playing and picking on his food was a rare sight, and it irritated Kanato as it ruins his appetite first thing in the morning. He had been doing it since the whole blonde-dream-girl-he-met-at-a-party-run-off-from-him-the-next-day-after-they-had-sex fiasco. Of course, he endured his brothers teasing him to no end, saying how he got dumped for the first time after a one-night stand (because it was rare; like hello, Ayato Sakamaki, the IT boy of Ryoutei University, the infamous college basketball champion.) It wasn't until the jokes don't sound funny anymore and Ayato wasn't eating takoyaki that Kanato and Laito believed this girl must be some serious shit.

And Kanato, being the prick he is, decided to stab his bacon and eggs so loudly in the morning, uncaring if Laito was staring between his older brothers awkwardly. While the concern was there, Kanato can't help but get irritated at Ayato's constant wistful and hopeless romantic longing.

Ugh. Love and all the neuro-shit.

"U-Umm..." Laito started, feeling Kanato's patience slip away, "Ayato-kun, aren't you going to eat-"

"Let him starve himself over some girl who dumped him," Kanato cut in, the stabbing motions not ceasing anytime soon. How dare he anger him? If that's what he wants, then that's what he'll get.

But Ayato was stubborn. Laito gulped nervously at that.

Oh, no.

Kanato slammed his fists on the table. "Okay, what do you want? Just say anything because I am getting sick and tired of your endless moping."

Ayato sighed again, stopping from his usual ministrations. "You can't help me. You don't know her."

Kanato huffed. "Bullshit. We already saw her leave the day after, remember."

"But you don't know where to find her," Ayato countered to which Laito found himself agreeing with.

To be fair, they don't know anything about this mysterious Yui Komori girl. But if they were to have first impression guesses, the girl seemed the honest yet clueless type. She also has the good girl type, the obedient one who always follows her parents' bidding because she is good like that.

However, the girl attended the party in their house and spent that one night with Ayato. That new information doesn't match their impression. Nonetheless, this Yui Komori can quite be a breath of fresh air. After all, this would be the first time Ayato flirted with a girl from the university since all his exes came from different schools.

"So this Bitch-chan has the curiosity of a cat, after all," Laito mused teasingly. "Not a goody two shoes, I see."

"I've asked random people from my course if they know someone called Yui Komori, but they don't seem to recognize one," Ayato said bitterly.

"Hmm... Ayato-kun, what if she's not really studying in Ryoutei University?"

"Nah, that's impossible." The redhead frowned. There's no way Yui would lie to him about studying in Ryoutei. Besides, the only ones invited to their party were people from the university.

"Well, I guess we could just help you look for this Yui Komori," Laito offered with a beaming smile because if this is what it takes for Ayato to stop his endless sighing over hopeless longings, then so be it. Then he turned to Kanato, giving him the "help me out here or else I'll do something despicable to your belongings" look.

Kanato only sighed in exasperation.

What a drag.

It took four days before Laito informed Ayato something about Yui Komori. It happened one day while he was seeing this one random girl he hooked up with from the Philosophy Department. After their intense sex, she mentioned something along the lines of: "I know that girl. She never skips all the classes. But Laito-kun, she's a bit boring, though? Are you sure you're looking for the right girl?"

And another fun fact: Laito had the same class with the Komori girl at 3pm every Tuesdays.

So Ayato became Laito's substitute, sitting in an unfamiliar class with brand new faces. He looked around for any sign of pale blonde hair and flower hairpins and pink until he spotted her. She was careless and lively, giggling at something her classmates said. Afterwards, the class started, the professor making his usual roll call.

"Sakamaki Laito?"

Ayato raised his hand. "Here."

The professor didn't care, but some of the students whispered, "Eh? But that's not Laito, though. It's the Ayato one."

At the mention of his name, Yui whipped her head back and saw Ayato, sitting five rows away from her. She immediately turned away and tried to shrink from his presence.

What's he doing here?

Once classes ended, Yui quickly got out of her seat and rushed towards the door, letting the crowd of students from the hallway take her until Ayato couldn't see her anymore. Ayato sighed in defeat. It was a one-time chance, and yet he failed.

"So what now?" Laito asked, munching on his salted caramel popcorn as he watched this new movie he rented with Kanato at their living room. "You'll have to wait for Tuesday to see her again."

"I don't have time for that," Ayato countered. "My practice schedule has been moved to Tuesday next week."

Kanato buried his face into Teddy's head, hugging the stuffed bear closer. "We could ask Reiji to give us a copy of her schedule. He's doing an assistant teacher job until next month," he suggested, then he remembered, "Nah. It's a bad idea. As if Reiji would let us know someone's class schedule. He abides by the rule."

"Looks like there goes your hopes and dreams, Ayato-kun," Laito remarked in despair.

Or so they thought.

Why? Because Kanato passed by Yui Komori in the hallway on Thursday. What's more? Her class is held at room 403 from 1pm to 5pm.

He knew because he skipped one of his minor classes and see where this blonde girl will move. He even approached one of her classmates and pretended he was quite interested, making some nonsensical flirtatous remarks on her because the girl looked so easy.

"O-O-Oh that?" the poor girl tucked her hair behind her ear and shyly handed out her class schedule. "Y-You can check it; I don't mind. As long as we see each other after this."

As if Kanato will let that happen.

Ayato was chugging on one of his water bottles in the kitchen when Kanato approached him and said, "I saw your dream girl today."

The redhead stopped at that, turning all his focus on the middle triplet. "Where?"

Suddenly, Kanato whipped out his phone and typed something. Afterwards, Ayato's phone beeped and when he opened it, he received a picture of a class schedule.

"I met a girl who goes to all same classes with that Yui Komori," Kanato informed. "Make sure to use it wisely or else." Because I am so tired of you being so lovesick as hell.

"O-Oh," Ayato was glad. Finally, he could see her again. "Thanks, Kanato."

"Just buy me two pints of ice cream."

"Sure."

"I want the new biscoff one and the chocolate chip cookie."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

Yui was bored. Apparently their professor for their 4-hour class this Friday afternoon was absent due to sudden cold. She sighed in her seat, contemplating where she could go since her next class would be for 6 pm onwards.

"U-Umm... Komori-san!" a female classmate called.

"Y-Yes?"

"Y-Your boyfriend's calling out for you."

"Eh? Boyfriend?"

Then she saw some of her classmates whispering to each other, glancing briefly at her before going back to their own businesses. Yui decided she should find ot who this mystery boyfriend, although there's only one person that comes to mind.

I hope he's not who I'm thinking.

"Yo, Chichinashi," Ayato greeted, the familiar smirk flashing on him. "It's been a while."

Yui blushed at the familiar nickname, the whispers behind her getting louder.

This was the start of a roller coaster story.

[lazyalani]

Blue Lock Boys As Songs

| Blue Lock Masterlist

| Main Masterlist

Ft. Itoshi Sae, Itoshi Rin, Mikage Reo,

•Part 2 (Michael Kaiser, Chigiri Hyoma, Bachira Meguru)

Written mostly from the characters' thoughts.

Written from my opinion and thoughts of them.

Fluff- Reo

Angst- Sae, Rin

The lyrics written are the ones connected to the "storyline"

Gender Neutral Reader, no pronouns mentioned or used except for the lyrics on Sae's part.

•Itoshi Sae

"I Broke Her Heart 'Cause She Was Nice."

"She Was Sunshine, I Was Midnight Rain."

"She Wanted It Comfortable, I Wanted That Pain."

"Chasing That Fame."

"All Of Me Changed Like Midnight."

Itoshi Sae has always been someone to set a goal, or more like a desire, and consider everything that would affect it. Itoshi Sae does not desire something that he cannot aquire, he does not set a goal that passes the boundaries of reality.

Itoshi Sae does not need, he wants.

He does not need distractions, he does not want obligations.

He has always centered himself in reality, philosophies and beliefs going around his interests, and things surrounding it. He was always a focused person, once he wants something, the entirety of his mind centers around achieving and gaining that want. In his mind, there will always be such thing as

"Sacrifices have to be made in order to obtain what you want." He allured himself into that thinking and told himself to erase distractions that might negatively impact his desires. He isn't one to take risks, he does everything that could increase his chances of victory.

And so he does.

Itoshi Sae is selfish, he takes and takes, and then he tosses.

•Itoshi Rin

"What's Wrong?"

"I Said, "I Can't Stay, Do I Have To Give A Reason?""

"It's Just Me, Me, Me, It's What I Want."

"So How Did We Get Here?"

"Better If We Do This On Our Own."

"Before I'm Someone You Leave Behind,

I'll Break Your Heart So You Don't Break Mine."

"I'm Asking Myself, Why I'm So Caught Up."

"Even If I'm Not Here To Stay,

I Still Want Your Heart."

Itoshi Rin's first heartbreak was caused by his own brother, on that snowy night, on a supposed heartwarming reunion, turned heartbreaking conversation. The Last Play. Ever since then, he was so obssessed with his dream of crushing his older brother that nothing else mattered to him. Except you.

Or atleast you thought so.

Itoshi Rin became tired of chasing his brother's lost affection that he started craving someone else's. You just happened to be that person. You thought yourself lucky of being the person Rin had decided to dedicated his affection to, of being the person he opens to, being the person who gives him the love he deserves.

Rin was a selfish man, much like his brother. Despite telling himself not to turn into a cold-hearted man like Sae, he was unconciously drowning himself in so much bitterness and turning exactly into his brother. When Rin had realized his feelings for you, he fell deeper knowing that you were the light that would prevent him from sinking further into the depths of hatred. He knew you'd always pull him back when he's about to fall, he got ised into thinking you'd always be there, and you were, until your light had started to fade.

Itoshi Rin fell deeper and deeper into the bitterness in his heart without you to pull him back. He wasn't blind, he started to notice that the light that was once in your eyes, was not there anymore. He wasn't an idiot to not know the reason, either. He felt guilt, but not as much as he expected. And he realized, ah, he was too selfish, too caught up on his own desire to crush his brother to even care further. The love you had given him was not enough to fill for the heartbreak his brother had caused. It wasn't enough for him to be completely pulled out of the dark side of his desires. He realized that the guilt he was feeling was buried in his own selfishness and bitterness. A part of him tells him to bring back the light into your eyes, to save your diminishing realtionship, but a huge part of him tells him that he doesn't have time for that, that he doesn't deserve another chance from you, that he was too caught up in himself to even care further.

Rin had always known he didn't love you to the fullest, but he always thought that the love he felt for you was enough for both of you to stay until he can fully give himself to you, until he finally crushed his brother.

Or was it that he always known it had to end, just not this way?

Not when he still loves you, but is too caught up on his personal problems to make you stay. Not when his selfishness has extended to still want your love even when he knows he cannot stay. He does not know why he is so hung up on his bitterness, was it because he was so used to his and Sae's closeness? Or was is because he was just like his brother, cold, selfish, lets their personal emotions ruin them?

Rin does not know when your relationship started to crumble before him, but he does know that he cannot stay, and he knows that you definitely cannot either.

But even then, he still wants your heart to the very end.

•Mikage Reo

"You Got That James Dean, Daydream Look In Your Eyes."

"And I Got That Red Lip, Classic, Thing That You Like."

"When We Go Crashing Down, We Come Back Everytime."

"We Never Go Out Of Style."

"He Can't Keep His Wild Eyes On The Road."

"Takes Me Home."

Mikage Reo is a man that is hard to please, mainly because he almost has everything, he can almost get anything. Second is because he doesn't care about the things that don't interest him, that doesn't benefit him.

When Reo met you, it was Autumn. The leaves falling down from the beautiful tree infront of you serving as your background, your hair shining in the sun, the wind blowing it as you make eye contact with him. The view that was infront of him was mesmerizing, his purpose for going out during class hours was to find the missing Nagi, probably sleeping or playing games somewhere.

Your first reaction was not quite was he expected.

"What are you doing here? It's class hours!" You frowned upon being disturbed.

Reo was pulled out of his stare, clearing his throat. "I could say the same thing for you."

"It's none of your business."

"Then mine isn't yours either."

"I asked first, so it is my business."

"What kind of logic is that?"

"My logic. Now please go away, Mikage Reo-san, I was trying to have a moment."

He grinned. At that moment, he decided you were interesting. Why? He doesn't know, and he doesn't care. Afterall, Mikage Reo always takes what he wants without having to care.

Being in a relationship with Reo was weird, happy, frustrating, saddening, and free. In short, it triggers mixed feelings, but who cares as long as he takes care of you and you love being with each other. In didn't matter to Reo what happens around him as long as he gets to take care of you and you give him the love he deserves, the feeling of freedom with you. He spoils you, whether it'd be material things, or with his affection. He loves to gift you with things, to give you everything you want and need, to take care of everything do wouldn't have a problem with anything. It does make you frustrated at times because you feel like he thinks you can't do anything or that he treats you like you're too fragile, but as they say, communication is the key. When you tell Reo your thoughts, it does sadden him a bit, but it also makes him feel guilty because he doesn't mean to make you feel that way, but respects your thoughts and lessens his actions.

But it doesn't make him less affectionate. Reo loves to kiss your hand, like a true gentleman, especially when he's driving, taking you hand into his and kissing your knuckles, looking at you, and you need to remind him to keep his eyes on the road or hospital bills will go brrrr, or driving with one hand while the other rests at your thigh. Reo didn't know how to drive, but he learned how to just so he could take you home while also having personal moments with you, and also because he thinks it's romantic and always wanted to try the hand on your thigh thingy.

Reo loves matching your outfits, especially when you go outside for a date or something. He also gets you matching pajamas and video calls with you at nightime until one of you falls asleep.

Communication is the most essential part of your relationship. Reo does not understand the meaning behind everything well, so you have to explain to him bit by bit.

Mikage Reo loves you more than the amount of money he has on the cards on his wallet combined.

_________________________

This was a lot more angsty on my head, I swear. My personal favorite is Reo's, honestly.

About Sae's part, it was intented that it would be short because I think I don't need to explain further about Sae's personality. Everything about him shows on the manga. He's someone who isn't afraid to speak and act on what he thinks. He does everything he thinks is the best for him. I also think he easily gets swayed by his emotions.

It's not like he doesn't care about anything besides his goal, it's just that he thinks everything else can wait until he finishes what he wants to do. And he thinks that Reader can wait and will wait for him. Itoshi Sae in my opinion is a selfish man. He knows he is, but is ignorant.

Should I do a part 2? For other characters?

[astralarias]

Skyscale Essay aka man I kinda miss the pre-skyscale days

Disclaimer that this is just my personal opinion and I don't hate the skyscale!! I think it's definitely a good mount for ease of access and is my second most used after the griffon! However, I've always felt it does take away from the other mounts quite a bit, so I wanted to go into that a little bit!

After mounts released with Path of Fire, the maps of that expansion and the following Living World 4 were built, in no small part, around the mounts themselves. Considering each mount’s unique ability and movement set led to what I feel was a very fun map design that almost was like a puzzle, and the mounts the missing pieces.

I could jump vast distances on raptor, then see a tall cliff and switch to springer to get up. At the top I might see a sand portal, and use jackal for a shortcut. At the other side of the portal, I could come across quicksand — the skimmer would fit this piece of the puzzle. Even with the griffon, the “prestige” mount, I would use a variety of mounts to get myself to a suitable launching point — and from there, a game with gravity and momentum began.

Although I can understand it may be frustrating to some to have to swap mounts often, I found that to be part of the immersion and fun. It felt like these mounts were not just transport but animals who filled different niches and belonged in the world, had adapted to it. It was engaging to me to look at where I wanted to go and consider not only the best but the most fun way to get there.

Then skyscale released. The change was felt, I believe, in the map that came with it. A lot of the map was just plain awkward and frustrating to navigate without the skyscale. You could get around it without the skyscale, sure, but it was a much less pleasant experience than before.

Ever since this mount was added, I feel the maps have been forced to cater to it, instead of the maps lending themselves to fun use of all mounts. Everything has to be designed with where the skyscale can go in mind. The puzzle-piece feeling of older maps is just gone for me.

Riding your raptor and see a tall cliff where springer would be ideal? Not any more. You’ll likely already be on skyscale, stay on skyscale, which is decently fast on land, and fly up the cliff. It’s efficient, but to me lacks so much of the spirit of GW2’s original mounts. Whilst you could still play this way — and I often do when solo — it’s become inconvenient to use other mounts when doing anything on a timer. Trying to get to an event, bounty, rift, etc? A flock of skyscales gets there first, bypassing any creative level design, and — oh, the event is over.

It just feels to me that skyscales, presumably intended to represent the freedom of flight, are just a roadblock in the way of more fun map design nowadays. The way new players whose only expansion is SotO are given an entire new way to unlock the skyscale, and given a permanent (to the SotO maps) rental skyscale — because the expansion is built around one mount, maybe two if you count the griffon at a stretch, and playing without it would be utter misery. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to give new players easier ways to get stuff at all, I really like it and it's something I'm always happy to see!! My concern is, when you’re fast-tracked to one specific mount, or else the expansion is blatantly unfun…that feels like such a reversal of the philosophy behind the original mounts — doing something new and unique, the idea of joy of movement. What’s joyous about the skyscale’s movement, that you couldn’t find in other games? It is wonderfully animated, but it has none of skimmer’s smooth grace or griffon’s dance with gravity. It just feels so bland, and brings down the map exploration aspect with it. 

[artist-issues]

Hi. I hope you're doing well. I wanted to let you know that your story analysis and whatnot goes hard. I've been enjoying going through your posts, especially in regards to receiving your insight on Disney related things. I also like that your Christian lens brings a very specific view to the table. I find it valuable, even as I recognize where I disagree with you.

Reading some of your thoughts though, I came across one post where you said something that greatly intrigued me. You said that, "homosexuality is a sin that is only destructive when it isn't submitted to Christ."

What would it mean to you to submit it to Christ in this context? Especially regarding how that would work with homosexuals such as myself. My own religious background hasn't given me the lens to fully understand the language that you used, and I'd appreciate further insight for better understanding.

In either case, I would like to thank you for your time in reading this, and hope you have a good one.

Wow, this is an incredible ask. Thank you for sending it, and being so kind and respectful. I will be honest: I don't remember which of my posts that's from, so I might get the context of what I meant there wrong. But I know that the Bible is consistent, so I'm not worried about trying to make what I believe on the topic clear!

I don't know your "religious background" and in our current culture it's not always effective to assume that what I mean when I use a word is the same as what you understand when I use that word. But the Lord'll make up for that,

So here goes!

People have been born with desires that are twisted (think like a spine that has vertebrae out of place, not "twisted" as in "I'm insulting you.") since mankind fell. Some of those desires are for power, some are for gratification of a sexual impulse, some are for selfish comforts, etc.

I think what I meant this: Homosexuality is not special or especially impossible to pop back into place; it is one in a list of twisted desires. And when you decide "no, I'm not in charge of my life—the God who made me is in charge of it, and if He says something in me is out of place, He's right, AND what's more, He can put it back together. I identify as His much-loved creation: I do not identify with the parts of me that are out of place/I do not identify as my homosexual desires." That would be submission.

I didn't make that up, and neither did any religion. God did. It's in the Bible:

"Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revolvers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God." (See, it's in a list of twisted desires/actions/sins that people identify with.)

But then the next part is:

"And such were some of you: but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of God." I added emphasis for clarity's sake, but see? Such were some of you--Christians. People who are called righteous by God, were once "homosexuals—people who identify with their unrighteous desires." But then they submitted those desires to be washed, and took on the name of Christ, instead of the name of "homosexual," or the name of anything else, for that matter.

If you're interested in reading more of my philosophy, or what I meant after hearing that:

God did make you for love. Love isn't wrong. Like how a toymaker made a little tin soldier to bring joy to children. It's natural and right for you to desire sexual intimacy and unconditional-selfless-acceptance from another person. You're supposed to desire that—the same way a sentient tin soldier might be "supposed to desire" being played with.

But, when mankind fell, they fell because they decided they wanted to be God. They wanted to pick what was right, and wrong, and good, and bad, for themselves. But that whole goal was a lie: it was never even an option. But we reached for what wasn't there anyway. And as a result, all of humanity's desires got corrupted.

So now that desire for love that the human being was made to have, and made to feel fulfilled by the God that loves them perfectly, is twisted up. It's corrupted. Suddenly you don't want love the way you were designed to have it; you want something that doesn't exist (because God gets to decide what "love", is, too, He invented it,) and doesn't fit.

See, that original desire is still there, and that's why it feels so confusing to be told "what you love is wrong" because you feel like it's such an integral part of you—and it is. But it's just twisted up. You weren't meant to love the same gender, or someone abusive, or any of the counterfeits. That "love" part of you was meant to love God, (and if another God-loving person of the opposite gender can enhance your love for God, to include them in that in this beautiful harmony.) But that part of you's twisted up. So it's still trying to beat, but it's to all the wrong rhythms.

It would be like the little sentient tin soldier suddenly deciding he should be a real soldier and fight the Revolutionary war. He thinks "I feel brave, I was built with a sword, I should do this." But he wasn't made to use it like that, so no wonder his toy sword immediately gets smashed in a real fight.

But then it gets worse. He doesn't go back to the toymaker and say "you were right, I was never made for this, and now I'm battered and broken and I can't do what I was actually made for—no child will find enjoyment in a shattered toy." He doesn't do that. Instead, he just keeps hopping into battle, poking feet with his bent-up toy sword and getting ground into the mud.

If the toy soldier would just go back to its maker and say "you were right, and I don't deserve it, but only you can help me" the Toymaker would straighten the sword. Shine him up. Give him a new coat of paint—and even better, he would give the toy soldier an add-on to his original purpose—he'd give him hands big enough to hold the tools that fix other toys. Now the toy soldier has new life in the purpose that he was made to be satisfied by, AND he can help other toys who lost their way, too.

That's what Christian's call "The Gospel." That's Jesus' sacrifice on the cross: the toy soldier got what he wanted and deserved to be left in the mud, but instead the Toymaker took what he deserved, and gave him new life.

But it took that submission, first. The toy soldier might still look fondly at real soldiers and might even have the feeling, as the Toymaker is still cleaning him up, that he might want to go back and be a real soldier again. But that's the thing: the Toymaker's changing his desires back to the way they were before he ever reached for the thing he wasn't made for, too.

Anyway, I don't know if that janky little analogy helped. I know our two worldviews are really embattled right now—they have to be, because they are opposites—but you asked so kindly, and I appreciate it. "Such were some of you"—such was I. I was you. Now I'm in Christ. You can be, too; you were made to be. But all that to say, I'm not judging you—because such was I, and such would I be if not for Him.

[onehopefuldreamer]

Why I can't help but always romance Persephone in Stray Gods

1 - Prickly on the outside, soft on the inside personality trope

This is probably the biggest reason because it's also probably my most favourite personality type of all when it comes to fictional characters. I am so very weak for ladies who kick ass and look scary but are secretly huge sweethearts. And Persephone is this trope to a T. Sure, she's big and scary, no one can deny that. But she can also be so sweet. She helped Calliope when she left Olympus, she saved Chastity from her abusive husband, she takes to mentoring/helping Grace so quickly, she is happy to help Medusa if Grace offers her help and even goes as far as admitting that this help was long overdue (something Apollo never does by the way). These are just some instances we become privy to during the game.

I'm absolutely sure there are more times when she was secretly kind, especially to people who needed help but had no one in their corner. Because while her personal philosophy is that no one else can help you keep your head afloat (born out of her own experiences no doubt) she's shown to actively be giving advice to and helping Grace as well as genuinely worrying about her safety and doing what she can to keep her safe. She's also obviously remorseful for not having been able to exact the change Calliope wanted so badly after becoming part of the Chorus and sympathetic about Freddie's fate. She cares and she cares deeply. She simply does her best not to show it because experience has taught her that others don't tolerate her being weak or deign to offer her sympathy no matter how dire the situation she is in. This naturally leads to:

2 - A character who is all alone and without a supportive system but refuses to give up

This is sort of a subsection of the prickly on the outside, soft on the inside trope, I know, but I cannot help but love characters who have had a traumatizing past and been forced to deal with it on their own. I always, ALWAYS want to be in their corner and if they happen to be ladies I never fail to fall in love with them. I find it absolutely amazing that anyone can preserve their integrity and remain kind after being hurt so badly both in fiction and in real life if I'm honest. To me these are the real heroes - people who have been hurt but refuse to let that hurt turn them into monsters. If there is a character like that in any media I partake in, no other characters stand a chance. Not really.

3 - Mary Elizabeth McGlynn's voice

In reality this is actually pretty much tied with numbers 1 and 2 but I had to keep some semblance of order so here we go.

I am very much someone who has always and forever been weak for beautiful voices. And out of the whole VA cast giving life to the LIs it's Mary Elizabeth McGlynn's voice that never fails to make me swoon or give me chills. She's so very good at what she does this woman. Her delivery is flawless both when it comes to her spoken and sung lines. I can physically feel Persephone's pain when she asks Grace "Please, don't do this." as well as her anger and bitterness when she sings "I gutted a god." or says "The only god I killed deserved it." for example. This adds so much to the character for me, you have no idea. I cannot honestly say if I'd have loved Persephone so much if she had been voiced by a different actress. But the combination between tropes I love and her sublime voice created a perfect storm so now no one can even compete with Persephone. Not even Freddie. And I love Freddie. She's just not Persephone. I'm sorry.

4 - Persephone's design

I love Persephone's design so damn much! I can't decide what I love most - her badass haircut, her cool tattoos, her slightly weird but somehow totally working for her outfit, her make-up that suits her perfectly, the colour of her hair and eyes or her androgynous look. Everything comes together flawlessly and creates one total and extremely gorgeous package. I don't know who worked on her design, but bless them, they really knew what they were doing.

The amount of screenshots of Persephone I have is obscene and I keep taking more because I simply cannot get enough of how stunning she is. Even when I was replaying to romance Freddie, Apollo and Pan I still kept taking screenshots of Persephone and being distracted whenever she was in the frame because her look is just so... I am running out of adjectives meaning "beautiful" here... Let's go with alluring.

The way she looks just does things to me I can't even begin to describe. I might be ace but even I can tell when someone is objectively hot and Persephone is scorching. Aesthetic attraction is huge for me and I guess her looks hit all the right buttons because I can't help staring at her and going "Wow!" pretty much all the time. Basically this screenshot of Grace is me every time I look at Persephone:

And speaking of that, one thing I have found I am particularly weak for when it comes to her design is the way she looks when she's drawn in profile. I don't know what exactly it is about her profile but I just melt every time I see it. It really did not help that this was part of her introduction to us in game:

How was I expected to pay attention to anyone else after that?!

I have a whole collection of screenshots of Persephone in profile that I should post alongside this to reinforce my point but again - the way she looks does something to me and I apologize to everyone else but I cannot possibly pay any attention to them when I have this in front of me. I'm only human...

[makapatag]

so hear me out right (and this is by no means a smart blog post thing, im just rambling at 2am)

a lot of combat heavy ttrpgs (D&D4e, PF2e, ICON, Lancer, Panic! At The Dojo) rely a lot on keywording and mechanical definitions to create this interlocking (and hopefully well-oiled) combat engine that rewards good tactical choices and forward thinking. 4e needs you to know that Ranged Attacks Provoke Opportunity Attacks, and so you need to move away first to avoid that (often by spending their Move action to Shift). this goes for other games as well. ICON needs you to know that if an Ability does not have the "Attack" tag then its explicitly not an attack, even if it deals damage. This is important because some classes and abilities benefit from not attacking, such as the Demon Slayer

the far end of this is PF2e, where almost everything is Keyworded. Classes, Races, even Feats have keywords, and some keywords have Keywords in them. this is not bad design in my opinion: mastery of this keywording can create for some really cool effects (and you can feasibly design something very BotW which also depends on a lot of interactions between elements).

now consider that so much of tactics trpgs (that is, Traditional/Tabletop Role-Playing Games) rely on so much of that interaction to create fulfilling scenarios. most of the time this is because tactics rpgs also depend on build-crafting. there are a lot of tactics trpgs that don't really care about build crafting or has less of a focus on it to focus instead on the grid combat: games like Rune, Valiant Quest, maybe even Blood Neon, so im explicitly talking about the variety of tactics trpgs that are build-centered: basically anything that comes from the vein of Fourth Edition Dungeons and Dragons

one of my favorite parts about TTRPGs is that you can play them based off of the fiction. writing Gubat Banwa, I understand that sometimes you have to create that fiction, especially if its not one thats well-represented. the created fiction or genre is the blueprint from which the play-fiction arises during the game: that's the fire-like collective imagination that arises from play.

There's a design and play philosophy (common among OSR, PbtA, and FitD) known as Fiction-First. This means that you follow what happens in the fiction first before the mechanics or anything else. Not to preserve the integrity of a "narrative" but rather, to preserve the integrity of the fiction.

What would a Fiction-First Tactics TRPG look like? This is something I tried to set out to do with Gubat Banwa. I haven't really succeeded, as of 1e.3.

so i've been thinking lately. What if a game was Fiction-First? It would work similarly to the Keywording of PF2e, but more open-ended in its interpretation.

Look at the Panabas from PF2e (a weapon present in SEAsia! From the Malay Archipelago all the way to the Philippine Archipelago). It has the Forceful (your second attack on your turn gains +X (X = damage dice, third up gets +2X.), Sweep (+1 to attack if youve alr targeted a separate character), and Two-Hand d10 (roll a d10 when you wield with both hands) tags.

I'm not going to be translating these one for one, but let's use the fiction-first style of writing and mechanics i'm concocting:

Panabas. A heavy blade. Using this, you strike with Bravery. The forward-curving blade can chop through tree, bone, and bramble.

Heavy Blade is a weapon type, so this is classic keywording. The text afterwards is also keywording: striking with Bravery means you roll your Bravery stat when making attacks with it. All well and good: there's always going to be some classical keywording in there as necessity (its this entanglement of mechanic and fiction that's made me love PbtA anyway).

The later text is more important, because say then I made an enemy like:

Walking Tree. A tree that uproots itself, and whistles to kill victims. Made of wood, so they lose 1 Stamina when they suffer chopping attacks. If they're struck by flame, they start burning. [Insert other combat-important stats here].

Now the fact that the panabas can chop through trees interacts with the description of the walking tree being vulnerable to chopping attacks.

Now these really aren't too different from the concept of keywording (really they're in the same concept park), the different thing is two things:

You can now apply that chopping quality to anything in the fiction. Find some brambles on your way, maybe even brambles as hindering terrain? Then spend a Beat to attack it to remove it! That's fiction first after all

It's easier to understand just at first glance with just natural language.

The important part here is natural language. In Play, a lot of the time, my players love picking up on little things about lore-bites of the items and techniques they have and seeing how that can apply to the fiction. So this is more of that: weapons, items, techniques, armor all become things that establish fiction. When two fictions interact, a new fiction arises!

Burning: A status effect. While you're burning, lose 1 Stamina when you start your Break. You lose burning when you're doused by water or you take time to remove it. Improvise: (A basic action). Do anything that does not inherently harm, as long as it makes sense in the fiction, and doesn't take more than 4 seconds to do (Beats take up 4 seconds). You can use this to stop drop and roll to get rid of Burning. Deep Water. -1 Elevation. Water reaches up to your shoulders. Moving into deep water costs +1 Speed.

Of course there's still going to be mechanical descriptions there, we're not going for FKR full just fiction thing. We're just blending fiction into the game part. Even PbtA still has stats and rolling and mechanics to further support their fiction.

I wanted to write this so that techniques and other widgets can be written with fictional wording in mind, and that wording would affect how its used in tactical grid combat. A technique that says: "You are surrounded by a barrier of tornado-force winds. Any attack from outside your adjacency is swept away, unless it cannot be buffeted by winds." Becomes a mechanical thing: perhaps a spell of concentrated curses pierces through this, but not arrows or weak fireballs?

The Arbiter

The last piece of the puzzle will almost always be: who arbitrates the fiction? There almost always needs to be a final word. For GuBa, this is the Umalagad, not so impartial arbiter. For Solo Play, this is still the Umalagad, but as the oracle: they ask a question, ie, "Would this area of effect attack be buffeted by the wind barrier if the origin point starts from outside?" and they would roll a d10. On a 6+, the answer is no, the target would not be buffeted because the flames overwhelm. On a 5-, the answer would be yes, it is buffeted because the target is not the brunt of the attack. And the final answer becomes the ruling for the rest of that scene.

Last last thing is this particular rule that sets things down that I might put into Gubat Banwa:

The Law of Phenomenon Pay close attention to the words that you have. These words will decide whether your blade can chop down a tree, or your abaka weave blunts edged strikes, but susceptible to piercing spears. These words will decide whether your dazzling spell can daze opponents, or if the opponent you fight ignores it due to them not depending on their senses to fight. The words establish the fiction. The fiction is the world in which your characters live: follow it always.

[beesmygod]

I saw your answer about art experiences. How do you feel things from literature? I am consistently disconnected from things I try to feel from, like I read The Glass Menagerie and it was good, even, but nothing came of it, and usually it is so much less than that.

I thought it might be something like Having A Coke With You, where the art is superceded by real human relationships — and I actually did understand Having A Coke With You for a while, and it was kind of incredible, but now I look at descriptions that resonated me not two months ago and they're just empty. I don't think having friends did that.

I just want this to be me, I want to feel things so much, especially without looking on it from a consumer's perspective (cf. rayne fisher-quam's standing on the shoulders of complex female characters), which I feel is hindering all of this. I feel like I'm missing out on one of the great experiences of life, the connection and meaning that comes from art.

I watched Greg Guevara's video on art experiences, where he said that everyone is overstimulated and spreading out their art experiences into meaningless social media bits, and I don't know how to change that. I saw a play today and I didn't understand it and I was bored, even, and it didn't change me. I needed it to change me into someone who loved it.

I read Anna Karenina in eighth grade and pushed through it and it was a comfort book and I related to Levin but I don't think I understood it, even (I don't have the book anymore). My friend – I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others, I know, but it's relevant – reads Crime and Punishment and feels things. I couldn't even get through the first part of War and Peace.

I'm sorry for the scatteredness, I write on my phone and I find it difficult to organize my thoughts here. I'm sorry for sending this to you, and I hope you feel free to delete it. Lastly, I'm sorry if you cannot answer this, if this is outside your experience.

i have a weird framing and personal philosophy about this subject that i hope does not come off as unsatisfactory to you but bear with me. i'm pretty sure i know this feeling; this is the feeling i get when i'm exposed to the wondrous, marvelous beauty of unspoiled nature. i could not give two shits about the glorious national parks of this genuinely gorgeous country despite my family dragging me all over the continental US for summer break as far as the family van would take us. i have seen some of the most spectacular sights this country can offer, from the grand canyon to the redwoods of california to the devils tower to yellowstone and so many more. and i tell you i stare at it dead-eyed like a fish. i know i should be feeling something, everyone else is. but when i see old faithful erupt all i could think about was how i could see water at home. absolutely 0 spiritual or emotional connection. even landscape paintings leave me cold. i can appreciate and understand the aesthetic value in what i'm seeing, but its like it stops at my eyes and never penetrates my brain.

but i have just accepted that there are things i simply will not be able to experience in my lifetime. this has always been the case for me being less than 5 ft tall with most things in life, but dont read that as self-pitying lore dropping. because the secret is that it's not really that big of a deal to not be able to do things. i might have 0 memories of yellowstone that aren't "insane thing that happened to us" but as an adult i can pursue things i actually do like instead of trying to force myself to FEEL something my brain isn't wired for.

maybe your relationship with reading is the same. you understand literature's grand purpose in the wide tapestry of history or whatever and have seen people have rapturous moments of artistic connection with specific books, but that experience is completely foreign to you. you can even read a book and enjoy it, like how i think the prismatic spring IS pretty fucking sick, but whatever ethereal feeling youre supposed to feel never materialize. thankfully, i promise you that its not a big deal. and now i never have to visit a national park again until i force my children to go see them because it's good for them or whatever. i can sit at home and experience art i DO get that feeling from.

anyway, in short: read things with no expectations of how you're "supposed" to feel about them and just enjoy a pretty good story. keep throwing yourself into artistic pursuits you do enjoy and feel connected to. and try new ones! you never know what will activate your brain

[gentil-minou]

Hi, I just wanted to say thank you for voting third-party. I know a lot of folks have said third-party votes are wasted, but with the way things are going, I'll probably vote third-party, too, and it's nice to know there are other people out there who care more about following their beliefs than standing by a broken system.

Maybe this will be the election people realize it's not a waste.

(Also, I'm sorry folks are being nasty in your inbox. Hope things get better soon. On all counts.)

<3 <3 <3

Thank you for also voting third party!! I used to do it more back when I first started voting because I actually believed in the democratic process, until I was disillusioned by a rigged system and started voting blue because it felt like I had no choice.

Every year I voted blue I had to convince myself "this is fine. This is better than the other guy" even though I knew their warmongering policies and how they leaned too close to the center for comfort. Voting Clinton and Biden last couple cycles felt like I had to, because I was able to wear the blinders long enough to gaslight myself into thinking I actually wanted them as my president. Because I had to or else I'd "waste my vote"

I refuse to do that anymore. Now I realize I'd waste my vote by giving it to someone who would rather see us dead than lose their money and power. I'd waste my vote giving it to a broken system.

The people shaming everyone to vote blue act like I'm voting for Trump by default if I don't vote Biden, and look i followed the same rhetoric in 2020. I'm sure if you go back in my posts I said the same thing.

But the line was crossed somewhere around the minute I learned my money funded the deaths of thousands, and always has. The line was crossed when I learned the president I called into power cares more about his military pet project than life. The line was crossed when I realized Biden is old enough to remember when Palestine was it's own free nation but refuses to, because he follows the age old American tactic of "This land is my land, actually, not yours"

So yeah I'm done with feeding into a system like that.

And here's the thing about this newest generation of voters: they are soooo powerful and they are so much braver than I was at their age. They know that meaningful movement and cooperation can overtake a corrupted system. The Dems and Republicans are both terrified of them because they know they're not as easy to indoctrinate into their philosophy.

I genuinely believe that if we can use the millions and millions of people who voice support for Palestine to also put their vote towards someone else, like Claudia in the socialist party who I've been keeping an eye on or the representatives that have actually backed up calls for ceasefire, like Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar and I'm proud to say my own rep, who are trying to move the dem party to a place that actually represents me.

If millions back a third party candidate, that says something. It says we aren't going to fall into the traps laid by the generations before us. It's says we are going to fight for what we believe in.

Revolution does not happen in a year or two. It takes a lifetime. And if there's anything that I've learned from Palestinians it's that the cause for a truly free world is worth fighting for no matter how many decades it takes.

[marauderswolf22]

FINALLY for @wolfstarmicrofic september prompt- philosophy. i dunno if it's good, for me it's comforting, but maybe that will stop my writing block. i wanna put a warning, talking about weight/alleged family mental abuse. words: 408. enjoy <3

Morning tea

-"Do you think i've gained weight?" - Sirius's voice broke through the sound of boiling water. Remus waited a short moment, this time not trying to check by touching the jug. The noise died down so he began the tea ritual. -"Mhm, I noticed you have more energy and you look healthier."- Two cups appeared on the oak table. One with earl gray, the other green one with raspberries. His spidery fingers danced on their handles. With sleepy, woolly steps he marched towards the bedroom where the voice was coming from. -"But I don't eat that much."- His eyebrows traced winding paths towards each other. Padfoot stood philosophically on the edge of their bed, in front of the slender mirror. Just like he slept, only with his pajama pants on. -"You sound worried? what's wrong with that?" - The hands, previously warm with tea, wrapped around the shorter man's chest from behind.

-"It's nothing, just like that"- The werwolf gave him a really knowledgeable look. -"Okay, okay, sir I know everything, I'm just not sure if I still look "like that"- Somewhere behind the gray of his eyes, a note of uncertainty swirled. Maybe about his own words, maybe something else. His hands slipped into the fingers on his waist, and Remus felt the muscles tense beneath them. -"Like that?" -"Like, attractive, I've never gained weight and I don't know if that suits you…" - If it weren't for the overall importance of this moment, Remus's anger would certainly have bubbled to the surface. Instead, he approached it more tenderly, knowing that Sirius was the victim -"Love, I know what you have been taught but know that first of all, your appearance is not supposed to suit me, especially when it comes to your health."- He emphasized his words with a vague touch. -"Secondly, gaining weight is not always a bad thing. You've had a lot of stress over the last half a year, you haven't eaten much, and now you're getting back on track. Besides, your age is changing, you're not 16 anymore, you're 28, your body has the right to change too." -When, halfway through the monologue, Sirius started shaking slightly and avoiding his eyes, Remus simply pulled him to his chest. Let him stay there as long as he wanted, slowly feeling his tensed muscles calm down. And then they drank tea, and laughed, and talked peacefully. Like they should have been always be able to.

[renardtrickster]

My last post going over my thoughts on Hazbin Hotel ended at episode 4. 8 episodes later, in honor of the season ending and also Symmetry, the rest.

It's a lot longer, so I'm ditching the bullet points and putting it under a readmore.

My largest and foremost gripe with the series as a whole (and this extends to Helluva Boss as well) is that the female cast feels weirdly underdeveloped. They're not poorly written per se, Charlie is likeable and well-realized even if she's been mostly static (vanilla protagonist?), and Vaggie did get some interesting folds when her being a former angel was revealed (I didn't know this was a fan theory btw), but Niffty's been mostly a joke, and all the same they're blown out of the water compared to the amount of screentime and focus devoted to guys like Angel Dust, Alastor, Vox, and even Husk perhaps. The good thing is that this is one of those issues where you don't have to "go back" and fix anything, you just have to give them more of a spotlight in future episodes. Which I hope they do.

I think even Christians would agree that Lucifer was always the most interesting character in the Bible, and I was excited for the show's take on him. There are shades of "Lucifer as an embodiment of freedom in contrast to God's order" which is a pretty standard read on his character, but the big thing they seemed to stress was his characteristics as a dreamer and an artist, which is pretty fresh. So introducing him stuck in a creative rut and essentially poo-pooing Charlie's dreams for the hotel is a good indicator that something's deeply wrong. It turns out that Hell is a pretty hopeless environment to be in, and his disinterest in the Hotel or helping Charlie make it succeed was because he's now riding the philosophy of "if you never chase your dreams you never get hurt when they fail", which is just depressing to hear. I have thoughts on the show's depiction and philosophy on Hell, but I'll group it with my thoughts on Heaven two paragraphs from now. Also his design fucks, I like the snake-apple-crown around his top hat, I didn't even notice his torso is meant to look like an apple core until someone else pointed it out, we stan a short king, etc. etc.

I found Heaven to be pretty interesting. I was expecting most of the angels to look more or less the same as each other, but the variety in display (some are furries, some are dudes, some are polygonal creatures) was more interesting, in addition to making me think "wow the fact that they draw from the same design pool in hell is interesting", to which my main man @arcane-nrok posited that it's because the people in Heaven and Hell are not fundamentally different from each other, where they end up depends solely on their environment and upbringing. Then Adam said nobody drinks because "there are no hard days in Heaven" and we both began pogging out of our minds.

The biggest bombshell when it comes to discussing Heaven or Hell is that despite our antagonists literally being the forces of Heaven, God has never been mentioned even once. Because of this, I have to disagree with the people claiming that Hazbin Hotel is some screed against Christianity (even though as an anti-theist, I wouldn't object if it were), and I definitely don't think it's a "fuck you mom" immature one either. It reads to me as more of a rebuttal and criticism of Christians and Christian morality than the actual religion itself. I mentioned the implications of class inequality before, that Adam more or less implies that if you have an easy life, you'll more easily find Heaven, and that if you have a harder life, you'll more easily find Hell. And while I know a lot of Christians were offended by the fact that the Angels don't seem to like the sinners and also don't seem to give much of a shit about the concept of redemption either, this reading makes sense if you imagine them not as Angels but as humans, interpreting doctrine in whatever way benefits them at the expense of others. Allegorically, Adam is the "christian who has never read the bible" who flaunts basically every rule but is de facto understood to be a "good christian" and so his behavior gets a pass as he and everyone else focuses on the shortcomings of everyone else, Lute is so ideologically locked into eating from her trash can that she's essentially been turned into a weapon focused on denouncing and punishing the unworthy, Sera is empathetic and aware of the internal incoherency and cruelties of the system he upholds but is locked into it to such an extent that she has to justify, compartmentalize, or ignore those glaring issues, and Emily is the same, except young enough that the indoctrination isn't as strong, and without the "tenure" such that she's most likely at risk to be excommunicated for her concerns. And on Hell, the great philosophical evil present over anything else is that while there may be some truly despicable people in there, the possibility of redemption must remain, to such an extent that it's positioned as an almost universal right and that the denial of it is an almost cosmic injustice (which in terms of theology and critical reading of the bible is almost as old as, the bible). Not only is the denial of redemption a tool used by the Angels to justify the existence of the system as it is (the argument of "they had their chance to get into heaven, it's too late now" is said by Adam at least twice and by at least five different sinners), but the sheer bleakness of it was enough to temporarily drain all the joy and hope from creation's first artist and dreamer. In short, the nightmare that Hazbin Hotel conjures isn't that God is cruel or unjust, but that he's been dethroned by his most fundamentalist followers.

Also Vaggie got kicked out of Heaven for refusing to kill a child, so I actually I take it back this show is extremely biblically accurate.

To suddenly jerk away from theology, philosophy, and societal critique and back to "here's my cartoon criticism", the pacing. I still maintain that if you blame anybody but the jokers who gave them eight episodes to work with, I'm going to fuck your wife, but I feel like it's been as much of a good thing as a bad thing??? The good news is that the plot is advancing constantly (as opposed to Helluva Boss which can feel dawdling and aimless), and the brisk pace means we don't have to "dwell" on things that make me groan when other shows dwell on them. Sir Pentious' introduction to the hotel, for example, could have devoted more time to the "Angel Dust feels that Pentious is a sussy amongus and also maybe a bit inadequate because the snake is an immediately better guest than him" element, or could have had Sir Pentious run away after getting caught, the attempt at redemption being a fib until he comes back a second time and stays for real. But they didn't in either case, and I feel like the episode was better for it (I was pleasantly shocked when he signed on for real). The bad news is, there's no room to breathe, meaning that everything necessarily must reach the high stakes being set by the rest of the plot, and we can't devote more time to the quieter, slower moments without making them take up the episode (as in episode 4, not that I thought that sequence was bad). Episode 7 is the embodiment of this dual nature, I think. Charlie felt hurt by Vaggie keeping secret the fact that she used to be an Exterminator, and while she felt hurt (as she should, her feelings are valid), she did ultimately resolve them after a frank talk and an exploration of what she's really feeling. Seeing that is refreshing after seeing Every Other Show turn this "plot" into a season-length dramafest, but Charlie essentially resolved this on her own with the help of Rosie, and by the time she meets up with Vaggie they've both essentially buried the hatchet without even the implication they talked to each other about it. "Deeds not words" was the big clincher for Charlie forgiving her, but I'm not alone in thinking this is some sort of mis-step, right? My hope with season 2, along with getting more episodes, please, is that they get more room to breath, but also don't "slog". A tough needle to thread, but a doable one I believe.

"Too much red." - Adam Firstman

Season 2 is a killer for a fair number of shows that end season 1 with a bang. They can enter "the sophomore slump" as they try to find their footing exploring new ground while also not fully divorcing themselves from the identity they built up in season 1. But I feel like they set up quite a number of threads to follow up on. The Angels have been defeated (RIP Adam, he sucked but he was fun to watch), Lute is still thirsty for revenge, and apparently they not only have Lilith, but they're going to deploy her soon. Pentious officially got into heaven, which will undoubtedly cause a shitstorm as redemption is proven officially possible, the Seraphim are the first to meet him, as well as "I wanna see how this goober acts in heaven". The hotel is rebuilt, and is now "on the map" seeing as how everyone knows Charlie stopped the extermination. Alastor has an ace up his sleeve with Charlie's deal, and his motives are still largely enigmatic. Vox and his cronies are emboldened and plan to make a push. There's at least three powderkegs present, with several irons in the fire nearby, which should be plenty of material to follow up with or deliver on.

My final hope is that, as I said in the last post, Hazbin Hotel feels like an improvement upon Helluva Boss's shortcomings. There's still shared issues, like the aforementioned Feminism Loss, but it knows and follows on its own premise (whereas the IMPs haven't been doing much assassinating), swears casually but only purposefully overuses it for obnoxious characters like Vox or Adam or when someone is emotionally compromised (meanwhile half of Blitzo's dialogue can bleed into a white noise of fuck words), keeps up the tension and advances the plot (as opposed to the aforementioned dawdling and aimlessness), etc. So in the same vein as my hopes that Season 2 of Hazbin Hotel follows up on its strong points while working on its weaker points, I hope Season 3 of Helluva Boss similarly learns and improves from its sister series.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

i won't go so far as to say they annoy me, because everyone has their own opinions, but i just CANNOT agree with any takes saying that their entire relationship has been dysfunctional or built on solely on false premises or etc. anything else in that vein. i know we've been dissecting the issues a lot to explain the breakup, but i'm going to go out on a limb and say that as a whole there's way more love than problems and there's way more good than bad. and that doesn't erase the problems or the bad or make them any less in need of fixing, i'm just saying overall the love in their relationship and the good parts of it definitely win out. plus, PLEASE cut them a bit of slack for the constraints the Heaven&Hell rigmarole put on their relationship. and i don't mean in a trauma way, i mean in a physical threat, having to do everything secretly kinda way.

further asks and response under the cut:

hi anon!!!✨ okay won't lie, the first ask made my blood pressure rocket through the ceiling 😅 but you're good, thanks for coming back to clarify, i really appreciate it - bc tbh idk if i would have had the acuity to have answered this today otherwise!!!✨

i hear you - speaking more personally for a sec (i will actually address what you're saying in a mo!), i hope you don't mind, it is slightly exhausting when some read my ask responses or metas, and genuinely believe that im purposefully trying to find negativity in the story or the characters, especially crowley. im not at all; i truly just find the dozens of layers to them both (and the storyline - the ethics, philosophy, psychology!) really, really interesting, and i find it fun to examine. i don't take any joy in pointing out flaws or dysfunctions for the sake of it, but more that, for me, it makes the whole relationship so much more relatable, and compelling. here are two creatures that are literally as non-human as it can get, and they're making mistakes, or miscommunicating, or have 'issues' the same as a lot of us do? that's really comforting to me - to look at two characters that i treasure acutely, and be able to recognise the ways in which they're not perfect. their story, in that respect, suddenly doesn't feel inaccessible.

but braindump-that-you-didnt-ask-for over!!!✨

i agree that their relationship is ultimately rooted in love. i think that that love has taken in many incarnations over the course of their narrative, emerging from general attraction/fascination, to acquaintances, to uniquely-relatable-to-each-other-and-only-each-other colleagues, to friends, to best friends, to deeply-pining crushes, to being unrequited love interests, to being full-throttle in love with each other, to being each other's family and sanctuary... all of these at the same time, and some evolving and merging into others. i don't personally hold the belief that romantic love has been there since the beginning (but fully respect where people do see it that way!) but romantic love isn't the only love that aziraphale and crowley are built on.

there have been problems and misunderstandings amongst all of that, times where they possibly don't know each other as much as they like to think they do, where they've not been kind or gentle to each other, but that doesn't mean that none of it isn't all interwoven, in every fibre, with love (whatever form that takes). they may not be human, but they are navigating something uniquely human, and that isn't always going to be perfect.

add to that, just as you say, the literal threat that hangs over both of them where they're not allowed to acknowledge a single part of any of the above; to do so not only puts themselves at risk, but the other at risk moreso. that fear - that sword of damocles, as others way more poetically-minded than me have put it - is borne out of love, of concern, of respect, and friendship. it's not a question, again as you say (because i wholeheartedly agree with you!), of one loving the other more than the vice versa, and one always having to bend to the other until they break whilst the other doesn't get a look-in. the way i see it, sometimes you do have to bend to each other in relationships, friendships etc., but that's a mark of trust, respect, and love in and of itself; that you can feel that you can look to the other for support when you need it, feel comfortable in being vulnerable enough to do so, and be so deeply loved in return as to be the one to support when the other needs it themselves.

there are times in the narrative where one lets the other down, or hurts them, sure - but that doesn't mean that that's the nail in the coffin. it's not going to ruin them, or end them, or drive them apart irrevocably; it's causing/caused issues that they simply need to work to mend... and tbh, they're probably not even aware that some of those cracks are there! once again, i think it's fair to say that this happens in most relationships, and usually - usually - most problems such as the more human-like ones they're facing now (especially the ones borne out of wanting to protect one another!) are fixable with patience, communication, kindness, time, and continuous love!

i do think s3 is really going to upend this, though, and put it to that aforementioned breaking point; i think there is going to be stuff revealed which leaves each other completely bare for the other to see - no secrets, no smokescreen, no glamour - and prove to be the true test of that love. but let's face it (because it will happen); they will choose to love each other anyway. perhaps even because of what s3 will reveal. i don't think ive ever seen their love for each other as unconditional - like i said, i think such a 'condition'/test will be put to them both in s3 and turn their view of each other on its head - but their love for each other in, all its guise, is strong, deep, and profound enough that it will be what they choose every time✨

if you would like to come back off anon, that is entirely up to you and i'll leave that for you to decide - or message privately? - i don't mind!!! but again thank you for clarifying the tone, i find tone hard to read sometimes and i appreciate the follow-up asks!!!💕