#my point is that i love polyamory and the far points of this ship could balance each other

[hyperactivewhore]

hi I love your blog we have very much the same opinions in everything except klamille is my favourite klaus ship and klaurora is second

I have been trying to enjoying klaus fics or any tvdu fics on wattpad but every thing I have read so far doenst show the characters accurately which is very annoying

I was hoping and want to request if you could give me some recommendations on fics on wattpad that are good. (Mainly klaus but any love interest would be good)

could you please give a short summary/review so far of any recommendation you give so I don’t waste time starting one only to not like ir

sorry if I am sounding rude English is not my first language but I can read it fully thank I you very much

Don't worry, you're not sounding rude at all, if anything you actually sound really sweet. I'm glad we share some opinions and I'm really honored you came to me for some suggestions.

I haven't read long fanfictions in a while outside works in ao3, I left Wattpad a few time ago but I'll still try my best, tho I'm not very good at giving summaries. Fair warning these are mainly fanfics I've read in Archive of Our Own, not Wattpad, but I hope it's not a problem. If it annoys you, send me an ask and I'll give you some Wattpad recommendations!

Patisserie (ao3, poly Mikaelson siblings x original female character, no incest) by @wickedlyemma:

Stats: (published: 2020-12-29), (completed: 2023-03-12), (words: 154,943), (chapters: 45/45), (comments: 4,385), (kudos: 8,469), (bookmarks: 1,799), (hits: 279,967)

Tags: Polyamory, Sugar Daddy, Self-Indulgent, Explicit Sexual Content, No Incest, Slow Burn, Not Canon Compliant

Summary:

I think we've all read those kind of tvdu fanfics where the main character is a teenager, usually related to the Gilbert or the Forbes, still in high school and who suddenly stops trying to make a life for herself just because she gets dragged into the supernatural world. Well, Patisserie is the opposite of that. For once, the main character isn't a teen but an adult around her twenties, who works at a bakery and is completely unaware of the supernatural world until Klaus decides to change that.

The slow burn is is truly worthy of a chef's kiss, the way the author describes and writes the Mikaelson is just so on point it hurts. Their family dynamic is so entertaining to watch, but it's as fucked up as it is in the show, which it's something not many authors can accomplish. The way they behave around the main character, a simple human, it's so amusing because they truly know nothing despite their age and she's just so easy to relate to, because for once the oc is not ridiculously overpowered.

The way we perceive the Mikaelson and the vampire world from a human pov is truly interesting, how she copes with all of it and eventually learns to love all of them individually while being aware of the danger is so well done. Kol and her, as well as her relationship with Klaus, are particularly interesting to read, especially considering how they all behaved around her at the beginning and especially because both of them are the most dangerous members of their family. They are all selfish creatures, and I love how it shows the more their relationships with her develop.

Apotheosis (ao3, Klaus x original female character) by atriums;

Stats: (published: 2022-01-01), (completed: 2022-12-13), (words: 158,264), (chapters: 31/31), (comments: 606), (kudos: 1,817), (bookmarks: 491), (hits: 69,472)

Tags: POV Alternating, Minor Original Character(s), Minor Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sex, Sexual Content, Devoted Reader, Author Rejects Canon and Substitutes It with Their Own, Cannibalistic Werewolf Cults, Nobody Is Good But Also Nobody Is Evil, These Characters are Flawed and Problematic (Probably), This Fic is Not a Bastion for Healthy Characters and Relationships, Reader/OC Especially, Reader/OC can be any ethnicity

Summary;

You know those fanfics who fix (almost) everything problematic in canon? Apotheosis does exactly that. In this story, Klaus isn't a complete irredeemable character for once, but he also isn't half as bad as his canon version, and due to the oc being a werewolf, this fanfic does expand on his werewolf side a little more than The Vampire Diaries or The Originals ever did. His family and him actually have a healthy bond, and Finn gets the recognition he deserves for once.

The story is set in season three of TVD, exactly when Klaus and Stefan are trying to make hybrids for his pack, and in a ironic plot twist, Klaus decides to take you with him when you're still a werewolf after you say you're not worthy to be a hybrid, at least not yet.

Her devotion to him is completely endearing and I absolutely love how Klaus actually cares for his pack, especially because they're all canonical characters who were killed way too quickly. Her relationships with the members of their pack are so well written, and this fanfic it's the perfect mix of humour and seriousness. It has a ongoing sequel, which I just adore. I warn you though, all the characters have several differences from their canon versions.

Twisted Obsession (fanfiction.net, Klaus x original female character) by rocket-queen98;

Stats: Originals, M, English, Romance & Angst, chapters: 16, words: 59k+, favs: 1k+, follows: 1k+, updated: May 6, 2023 published: Aug 13, 2016, [Klaus M., OC] Elijah M., Hope M.

Summary;

Lola is one of the most adorable mc I've read. She is human and around nineteen, if I remember correctly, and just a sweet girl and adorable. She's introduced into the supernatural world thanks to baby Hope, who is just the cutest, due to her needing a mother figure now that Hayley wasn't present in her life thanks to the curse placed on her.

Her relationship with Hope is my favorite part of the whole fanfic. She doesn't suddenly turn into her mother, she doesn't intend to either, but rather becomes her best friend and Klaus and her develop a bond thanks to this. The way father and daughter interact is so heartwarming too, the subtle hints of them being werewolves, and seeing a main character having a good relationship with her father for once is a good turn, especially in tvd fanfics.

It's clear Klaus and Lola have something going on, even if they won't admit out loud, but for some reason the people around them give the impression they don't actually want them to date. There is implications something more fucked up than usual is going on with Klaus and his relationships, and I'm pretty sure him and Cami were a thing in this fic too. Surprisingly, Hayley and Cami aren't turned into absolute bitches, but there is Jackson bashing though.

The Girl in the Forest (fanfiction.net, Klaus x original female character) by noblecrescent;

Stats: Originals, T, English, Mystery & Romance, chapters: 30, words: 311k+, favs: 232, follows: 176, updated: Feb 19, 2017 published: Jan 23, 2016, [Klaus M., OC] [Elijah M., Camille O'Connell]

Summary;

This fanfic is a tetralogy of books set in The Originals, I read those fanfics a while ago so forgive me for any mistake. Maleny is a witch who was cursed, if I remember correctly, and was constantly body-jumping every short time.

In one of her lives, she met Klaus and they fell in love, but she died, if I'm not wrong, and they end up meeting again in New Orleans time later where he has a child on the way and a kingdom to conquer.

I can't remember a lot more without giving you spoilers, but it's worth checking it out!

Now, I'll give no more summaries because I honestly don't remember a lot of the next fanfics, but it's your choice if you want to read them;

A Veil Between Love and Hate (fanfiction.net, Klaus x original female character) by MandalorianHybrid;

Stats: Originals, T, English, chapters: 57, words: 200k+, favs: 609, follows: 359, updated: Sep 15, 2019 published: Jan 30, 2014, [Klaus M., OC]

Summary; Another five books set in The Vampire Diaries, with a story that eventually moves to The Originals.

Allure (wattpad, Klaus x oc x Stefan) by @viavolterra;

Stats: 575k Readings, 20,5k Votes, 34 Chapters

Summary;

I just could not not recommend this fanfic. Mia comes to Mystic Falls to seek revenge after Damon kills her best friend Lexi, but she of course gets dragged by the problems in that little town.

The thing I like the most about Via's story is how there is no cliché: no bashing towards Tyler or Elena, Mia actually befriends them, Bonnie gets the recognition and love she deserves, Klaus doesn't suddenly turn into a different person just because he loves the oc, he continues to be a piece of shit, and how sweet and empathetic she is, not like those reused badass mc who are just rude.

I would recommend some more, but it's kinda hard to find fanfics with a good Klaus depiction. I'm pretty sure I left out a lot of amazing fanfics, though.

[antisociallilbrat]

What Polyamory Does For The It Fandom VS In The St Fandom.

These are some brain worms I've had for a while and I've decided to share, regardless if it makes some people mad. Although that is truly not the intent of this post. Anyways. If you haven't been in the It fandom and only have stayed in the St fandom this post may not make sense but I do encourage you to read it.

I joined the It fandom in 2017. I'm one of those few people who were in the It fandom first before moving over to also join the St fandom in late late 2017/early 2018. I had a blog for consuming content but I didn't start making content until 2020 for the It fandom and more recently and regularly for the St fandom. Anywho what I'm trying to say is that I've seen a lot.

I loved many ships in the It fandom and one of the main ships is Poly Losers Club. This is the first fandom I've seen where a poly ship was one of the more popular ones. Even if someone didn't ship all the Losers, throuple and quatrouples (is that how you say it?) have always been popular in this fandom.

Because it is almost unanimously agreed across the fandom, that whether platonically or romantically, all the Losers love each other. Even the most die hard of reddie shippers, the fandom's most popular ship, can often agree on certain fanon headcannons, Stan and Richie practiced their first kiss on each other, Eddie's first crush was on poor oblivious Bill. And that comes back to the agreement that all the Losers love each other. Ships in this fandom have never had an issue coexisting. If someone shipped something different from someone it was always more like "oh that's not my favorite but I definitely see where you're coming from'" OR they're like "yeah no they're in love too," Hardly ever any belittling or any superiority complexes.

That's what makes being in this fandom fun and easy.

Poly Losers even often features a gay man and a women and I've read many beautiful fics where this is explained as they're more best friends than lovers but Eddie doesn't love Bev any less because she's a woman. This fandom allows Eddie and Bev to have an amazing and emotionally intimate relationship because I feel like this fandom does understand, for the most part, that platonic love is just as important as romantic love.

Now on to the St fandom. There are some poly party shippers out there but they are far and few. And there is SO MUCH shipping discourse. Yes I could talk about Mileven and Byler but come on, it goes beyond that. It's with Jany and Stancy, Ronance and Rockie. Elmax and Lumax, and Steddie and Stonathan. Just about every ship you think of there is an alternate ship that people will fight for. They will belittle you for shipping something they don't, and insist that your ship is nothing but platonic. That,,,that just doesn't happen in the It fandom. You know the joke, "All the Losers had a crush on Bill at one point," I think that in itself says a lot. Bill, the arguably least liked character, (my poor bb), has the joke that all the losers had a crush on him at one point.

I'm getting off track. Anyways I'm not saying that shipping everyone together in a poly sense would fix everything with these shipping wars but i do believe why there was never any shipping wars in the It fandom was because of Poly Losers. Also when I talk about poly in St I mean it like Poly Party and Poly teenage crew. Not together, I hate that I have to clarify that.

In the St fandom, it's just not as universally agreed that everyone loves each other, even in the basic platonic sense. All anyone seems to care about in the St fandom is romantic love. A lot of shippers want to be right, they want to prove that their ship will be cannon which just,,,sucks the fun right out fandom spaces.

Canon, fanon, why can't people just make cute fan art and talk in babbles about thoughts they have on a ship. Why do you have to be right about what's going to be the canon ship? Why do certain people feel the need to put down and even to the extent as far as bullying people who ship something different? I've never seen a fandom so focused on 'canon pairings' like the st fandom. (Side note I was never in the sherlock and supernatural fandoms, I knew to mention this)

The party, like the losers, are friends who have been through turmoil that have bound them together for a lifetime. I don't care what pairing you give me from st, whether it be a platonic or a romantic one, I will tell you that those characters deeply care for each other.

Side note: it's worth a mention that the Duffer brothers originally wanted to film the It remake and when they didn't get it, we got Stranger Things. It can be argued that the Party is based off the Losers club so you know what that means? THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER. Take it as platonic or romantic idc.

Again, I don't think that poly party is the answer to ending the shipping wars. I do think however that if people could remember how much the party members mean to each other, that that could make less tiring fandom spaces.

Okay I'm done. I just thought this was an interesting point on how it's been like in the It fandom vs the St fandom.

Wait I was doing tags and I forgot to mention that there are few people who ship Elumax and Stoncy, two throuples and kudos to them. They're just worth a mention, I didn't forget about ya'll

[yeetus-feetus]

trying to get my previously very homophobic hardcore-christian baby brother to accept the lgbtqia+

Captains Log: First entry

So far he's become accumulated to the idea of two boys being able to have a healthy relationship through his obsession with one Damian Al Ghul Wayne.

Through giving him access to my Pinterest account for something I honestly can't remember- maybe a school thing, he discovered my DC pins and I introduced him to some really cute Damijon art. He was immediately consumed. I left him alone on my laptop and came back to more than three dozen new pins of purely Damijon fanarts.

Note: remind me to make him his own account Jfc!

From Damijon he then discovered Timkon and Superbat. It is an understatement to say he is a fan of bat×super pairings.

I exploited his new obsessions with these ships to make him angry because he's so terribly cute and hilarious when he's angry. How did I do this?

Well, I decided one day that I would break the unfortunate news to him that Jon Kent was in fact already in a relationship with one Jay Nakamura, and Tim as such with one Bernard Dowd. The following outburst from him was immeasurable!

You can imagine my surprise when he screamed at me, demanding I prove such a thing- then afterwards the amount of tears. He refused to speak to me for two while weeks, unless uping the anti on telling me how I was going to hell for being a fag. Hypocritical of him in all honesty considering he was saving pins of boys kissing quicker and more efficiently than I could complete my assignments.

Anywho, I took advantage of this. I like poking the bear, and he's a very cute bear, so I began mentioning Jay and Jon when I felt like seeing his little face get so red with anger it's possible steam might come from his ears. We quickly developed a loose script of back and forth; him getting angry and trying to explode me with his mind, me grinning at how wholeheartedly he defended his most favourite ship between two boys.

Until one day my little brother flipped that script and pulled the rug right out from underneath me and my little game. He proposed Polyamory. Of all thing, Polyamory. Not something you'd expect from the mouth of a Christian boy- especially about three boys.

How and where this primary school kid learnt about the idea of Polyamory escapes me. I have no idea, but the fact he was willing to accept it to disprove my point is almost even more hilarious than his face when he's angry.

I'm so glad, proud in honesty, that he has experienced this growth as a person, that he is accepting of Polyamory- even if it is because of something so silly. It's progress in getting him to stop condemning me and mine to hell. He is willing to accept such relationships now, and all because of my incessant teasing and taunting.

This acceptance extends to Timberkon especially, from what I can tell from the 12 pins he's added to his ever growing collection on my account. Which I am very pleased about, considering my own love for that particular ship. And also, he's realised he can ship Batman with more people than just Superman (though he still hates that I'm a Batlantern shipper).

His favourite Batman ship is now Batman, Superman and Lois Lane as a throuple. He is also open to the idea of Batman dating Talia Al Ghul and Cat Woman as well as Superman. (He is not letting go of the Superbat element, that's fine though).

And, surprisingly, it has also extended to a new show we've been watching together, with my second brother as well, called "Castlevania" on Netflix, in which he's now insisting the main three characters- Trevor Belmont, Sypha Belnades, and Adrian Teppesh aka Alucard- are polyamorus and all in love with each other.

Note: we are only in the second season as of now.

Which is all excellent growth in my books!

Now my lovely friend @froggyinfear has suggested I introduce him to lesbians next, to further his acceptance of queer relationships. I intend to update you all with the details of my progress in this endeavour with this new Captain's Log.

[themissingnumbers]

Hello hi howdy how you doing?

Technically non-canon question but I'm new here n have been going through a bunch of the posts to get Up To Speed and I've noticed that Blue seems to have romantic entanglements with both Glitchy Red and Fire Red so what I'm wondering is, when/if Glitchy manages to escape superhell how will those relationships pan out? Will it be polyamorous? Or will the Reds fight to the death for the right to kiss Blue? Maybe both? Or will someone die before then?

Anyways yeah hope you're doing well n I love this blog. :3

[HI mod starry here i keep forgetting to answer this fuuuck. anyways firstly- welcome welcome!! we're happy 2 have you and im glad you like the blog so far! ^^

to start with actually answering, here's what Carrion said which sums it up a lot more. eloquently than i could:

Relationships and how they can change and fluctuate between people as a consequence of trauma and grief is a central theme to missing numbers- You'll have to simply wait and see how things pan out by engaging with the story as it's told

anyways for my own messier answer- i always prefer polyamory over "fighting to the death" over one guy haha,, ultimately while there very much ARE relationships and attractions in mn that do affect the character's dynamics in important ways, i don't want things to go down a path where any romantic fights n shit override the bigger picture/point of the blog. mn is a horror mystery where the relationships ARE important, but the focus is still the horror mystery anjkklsd

(ive always personally avoided shipping centric parts of fandoms in fact.. ive never shipname tagged any of my art actually focusing on that . that stuff scares me and i dont wanna bait and switch people with Aw theyre in love! wait why is blue stabbing him)

with that said, the details of everyone's dynamics with each other, both in current and future, is still a part of the Questions of the story that i hope to lay out thru future interactions and answers! its just that every part of these is important, not just romance ^v^ ]

[other-cullen-ficrecs]

Black Emporium 2023 - Recs (Part 1/?)

My personal favourites from this year's exchange. :) Authors not included as they're not revealed yet. Will update later on.

Cold Feet by ____ (Male Hawke/Cassandra Pentaghast/Varric Tethras, 5.7k, Explicit)

Summary: Domestic intimacies and polyamory negotiations. Mostly post-Inquistion.

Reccer Note: Adorable mix of fluff and more steamy scenes. Bonus points in my heart for Varric/Hawke being such a steady start point for this. Varric sounding very much like Varric and ofc connecting with Cassandra through his writing.

Of Solitude and Contemplation by ____ (Anders/Cullen Rutherford, 2.9k, PG13)

Summary: Cullen Rutherford contemplates his relationship with Anders as he goes about his morning routine. Shameless domestic fluff.

Reccer Note: This is one of those ships that I technically like but have yet to see written in a way I could truly appreciate. That being said, this one got very close. My only issue is that whenever I seem to stumble upon fics with Cullen and a mage (various characters), they're always fics from Cullen's POV and lean towards how difficult it is for him to be with a mage. And not, you know, how he was shit to mages and maybe that should be addressed before the blissful happy ending. This fic at least brushes on this, so again. One of the best fics I've read for this ship.

Full Circle by _____ (Anders/Bethany Hawke/Nathaniel Howe, 3.1k, PG13)

Summary: Life would go on no matter what.

Reccer Note: I love when fics about Anders do not ignore Justice. That's a small note, aside from that: great and in-character Bethany, as well as Nathaniel, but it's especially noteworthy with Bethany. Also I'm always impressed with authors who within a small word count can show a progression of a relationship over the years.

Mistakes have consequences by _____ (Female Hawke/Loghain Mac Tir, 1.8k, Mature.)

Summary: In which Hawke has an unfortunate encounter with too many bandits, a fortunate encounter with Loghain Mac Tir, and a bit of accidental nudity.

Reccer Note: I can't be the only one who always finds it confusing and hilarious how Hawke refers to Loghain as their Warden friend in Inquisition. This is an interesting take on that. But mostly I love the way Loghain is written here. 10/10.

The Maker's Sense of Humor by ____ (Gamlen Amell/Orana, 2.8k, PG13)

Summary: Gamlen had given up on finding his soulmate. But the Blooming Rose had become his haunt, and one of the only places he wasn't judged and found wanting. Which is why, of course, he heard the words stamped on his skin from a woman less than half his age, after he'd made peace with the fact he'd never have what his sister did. The Maker had a sense of humor, and once again Gamlen was the butt of His joke. Except this time, there was no joke.

Reccer Note: What can I say? I have a giant soft spot for Gamlen. And he is so sad in this one. I love the melancholy feel of this fic and would happily read something longer for this unexpected ship.

hold tight to everyday life by ___ (Leliana & Josephine Montilyet & Cullen Rutherford, 5.1k, PG13)

Summary: In days, months, and years, a family is formed.

Reccer Note: I don't read Gen fics very often but this was really a love take and on the few and far between slower moments for this trio that truly made them into the team and friends that they are.

[zorkaya-moved]

I was brought up with an excellent question in recent days! Actually, by several people in my DMs but also by mentions on the dash. Let's talk about POLYSHIPS/POLYAMORY, Zarina's view on it, and if she could see herself in an actual polyamorous relationship.

Short answer: 85% of the time, it's a miss with her. Zarina doesn't care about many people, and she also is very prideful, which means that she HAS to care about BOTH people if someone wants her to be in a poly relationship. This only worked - so far - in Arknights verse (with Flan) where Zarina loves both Kal'tsit and Theresa, both of whom she bonded with over the years and who she came to care about deeply to the point of no return and even post-amnesia she still feels longing towards them both.

Caring about one person and loving one person is a lot for her already, like romantically loving them. The biggest problem with her in poly ships is the fact that she is intense and she is selfish still, she is selfless with her lover, but she is also intrinsically selfish. Zarina will not allow herself to feel like 'second best' or 'second choice.' A poly-ship requires trust and deep bond between everyone in the relationship. She isn't here to feel jealous or envious, she isn't here to doubt herself or her lover. This is the problem with her: she must care about both people in the relationship, which requires a lot of emotional bonding and deep trust. If Zarina doesn't care about another person in a poly-ship, this means danger and it will be uncomfortable in the long run. She will be nice to another person, yes, but it's "cold polite", and it just won't work out. Zarina in love is still a beast: possessive in her own right, selfish, and attention-seeking from her lover when she is free and when she wants because she is a busy person.

A polyamorous relationship requires a lot more communication, care and trust between the people who are involved. Zarina, who is a cold and rational person in general, will need deep bonds with both people to even think about liking them both. She grew up in a monogamous society and it reflects on her views as well, which means that she is more resistant to it also due to her upbringing but also because she is... Well, Zarina already doesn't believe that she'll be able to find someone who she will love and who will love her back no matter who/what she is. It isn't insecurity, it is simply because she knows how cold-hearted and rational she is on the inside and how intense she'd possibly fall in love with another person if they do grasp her heart (the saying that Zarina will love only one person in her whole life isn't said for naught, it is why ALL SHIPS ARE IN DIFFERENT UNIVERSES AND DO NOT CROSS).

So, basically, it can work with Zarina as long as she cares about both people in the polyamorous relationship like with Kal'tsit and Theresa. It requires a lot of plotting for that to happen, far more than a monogamous relationship because it is also needed for Zarina to come to an understanding that - yes - she can love two people as intensely as she can love one person. If she doesn't care about another person, it will not work out, and she will most likely end the relationship herself. If not end, she will need a lot of talking to be done between her and her partner. Like I said, she isn't here to feel jealous or doubt her partner's love for her. That is why she will require a very solid talk based on honesty and patience. Yes, patience. To let her process it, to let her understand, to let her figure it out as well.

She will possibly need some time to figure it out for herself as well but do not feel like it's over if she asks to leave her to process it. Zarina is a person who takes love very, very seriously and she NEVER wishes to doubt her lover and she never will. Her initial response is negative because of her upbringing, but give her some time to figure it out as well. As smart and genius as she is, emotions are her weakest part in experiencing or understanding. Her initial thoughts in these moments could be bringing out insecurities she'd never experienced, making her rather unhappy. But give her time, give her time to not act on that sensation; however, do not expect her to be immediately positive about it. If her lover just wants to sleep around, it's another thing to discuss. But communicate with her. Communication is truly the biggest key to let Zarina understand and be more willing to not just immediately stand up and say 'no.' She needs that serious talk if she doesn't care as much about another person; it's essential.

If there is no talk, she will not proceed with any positive response to it. Yes, if it isn't brought up carefully or it's brought up suddenly, she is very resistant and very on guard, but if you bring it up more casually or inquire about her opinions on it? She'll be more pliable to answer without getting cold and distant. Understand that she already internally sees herself as a monster/beast that clings to humanity, it's her insecurity that she will never speak of despite her confidence and love of herself.

If she does care about two people equally profoundly, she will not be against it, but she will still need time to adjust or understand how this would work out because her rational thinking would come in, and she will need to 'learn' how to approach this type of a relationship. When she deeply cares about both people, it's a different and far more positive experience because there won't be any negative feelings scratching at her from the inside because she already cares. She is ok with it on a level that truly matters.

[aftonfamilyvalues]

the copy pasted jegulus manifesto

i think i like it mainly for the very specific tropes but also because of the lack of info on them both. it's a double edged sword basically because on one hand you can do almost anything with them and it would seem realistic but on the other hand wtf you know little to nothing about them and they're dead in canon why would you ship it. it's also a case of my headcanons are better than everyone elses and im the only one who gets it tm because most of the fics don't use the tropes to their full potential and also there are people who are pulling the polyamory card on jily which. no

which brings me to the james problem. i don't... hate him. i also don't love him as much as i love remus and sirius and the fact that those two are alive for a good portion of the canon has little to do with it. like i know he was on the 'good side' all with working for dumbledore and becoming an animagus to help remus and taking sirius in when he left his family but at the same time he bullied snape and bothered lily for years and i don't get how he went for that to getting married and having a child with lily

im mainly salty because jkr pulled the 'hero gets the girl after becoming a better person as a reward' trope which ruined the character for me. the only way james can work is if jily doesn't happen and he realizes he was in the wrong for bullying snape before he became a magical nazi. i think after a certain point he can go from that to antagonizing a death eater which is ok in my book but the mindless bullying because he got a hard on for lily and he was jealous has to go. and the reason why he stops being an asshole must not involve him getting lily in any shape or way. i kinda like to tie this to that moment in canon when he saved snape's life on the full moon so the reason why he stops bullying him can be related to his friends and having to find a way to keep snape quiet about remus being a werewolf. it can involve lily because snape had that weird ass obsession with her but this way instead of james getting the girl because he did the right thing it's james deciding to give up on the girl to keep snape quiet and do the right thing for his friend. so bros before hoes with extra steps. by the time he's good enough for lily to decide she wants to be friends with him he should already be done with his lily evans crush detox. literally going through withdrawal

which brings me to regulus. because if james is over lily and back on the market there's one less thing that's stopping this ship from happening. as opposed to the other 20 things which only make this more interesting imo

so james' best friend is sirius black who's also the older brother of regulus. 2 degrees of separation plus he gets second hand info from sirius regarding his younger brother and their life in the black family. regulus on the other hand probably got info on james from sirius while he was still living with him and maybe resents james for stealing his brother. so they're not complete strangers. they're also both playing quidditch for their houses canonically so they have this in common. he's also not a complete monster despite being a death eater (I'll get back to this) because he tried to destroy voldemort and he was very close with his house elf despite coming from a blood purist family so i don't think james could fall for him unless he knew regulus was a good person at the end of the day. regulus must also have been incredibly smart because he was a black and he had to maintain a certain reputation plus he discovered voldemort made horcruxes before dumbledore did and since lily was also really smart i think this could be another reason why james would fall for him

we have little to no information about regulus so as for him falling for james i think the proximity to his brother plus their shared interests plus james'personality (as far as we've seen in canon) are reasons why he could fall for him

now the drama factor. since we have basically nothing on those two the best thing about their relationship is the potential for drama. so there's the best friend's brother trope plus the complicated relationship sirius has with his brother (and his entire family) which can reflect on the ship. especially when sirius canonically doesn't know about regulus' discovery and how he died so for him his little brother was a death eater sympathizer who became one to please their parents realized it was too much for him shortly afterwards and decided to deflect and got killed for that

there's also the problem that he was a death eater and james was in the order so how would that even work for them. this is turning into an essay so im pulling the citations because why not

"I hated the lot of them: my parents with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal... my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them... that's him. He was younger than me, and a much better son, as I was constantly reminded" - sirius black

"They're all about Voldemort. Regulus seems to have been a fan for a few years before he joined the Death Eaters..." about the photos and articles regarding voldemort found in his room near the family crest

"He was murdered by Voldemort. Or on Voldemort's orders, more likely. I doubt Regulus was ever important enough to be killed by Voldemort in person. From what I found out after he died, he got in so far, then panicked about what he was being asked to do and tried to back out. Well, you don't just hand in your resignation to Voldemort. It's a lifetime of service or death." - sirius

"For years he talked of the Dark Lord, who was going to bring the wizards out of hiding to rule the Muggles and the Muggle-borns... and when he was sixteen years old, Master Regulus joined the Dark Lord." - kreacher

and im pulling the unreliable narrator card on all that shit

because if we go with what the narrators say regulus has always treated kreacher with respect despite his background. he essentially treated the lowest of the low as an equal when everyone around him treated house elves as slaves but at the same time he followed his parents' wishes he worshipped voldemort and he got the mark at 16 then realized it was a mistake and decided to sacrifice himself to save his house elf and destroy one of the horcruxes. how

i mean considering the circumstances and how smart he was and the fact that he was a slytherin it makes more sense he fooled everyone into thinking he was a sympathizer. first his entire family because he saw how they treated sirius and he didn't want to get the same treatment. then later on when he realized voldemort has a high chance of winning the war he decided to go all out with the death eater fanboy charade and remain on the down low out of self preservation. it would make sense because his parents were only sympathizers themselves and narcissa never got the mark despite being in close circles. afaik belatrix was the only one in the family who got the mark beside him. we know he got the mark at 16 so maybe he was obligated to take this final step because otherwise his loyalties would be questioned and he couldn't do much else as an underage wizard. at one point between age 16 and 18 he decided to ignore his self preservation instinct and sacrifice himself for the greater good after seeing the horrors of the war. i like this better than the "friend to all house elves to magical nazi to proto harry potter" pipeline. still better than snape's arc tho

imo the best way the ship would work is if james started dating regulus in secret so sirius wouldn't find out then had an ugly fall out when regulus got the mark then both went on their separate ways on opposite sides of the war then regulus started his horcrux hunt. preferably he survives the cave and reunites with james and he finds out about regulus' true plan regarding voldemort but that's just my preference. some like it better when reg dies and james finds out the truth after reg's death

so tldr this ship gives me brain diseases because no other gives off this flavor of "in love with my best friend's brother from a highly disfunctional family" but also "i blame you for taking my place in my brother's life" but also "sports/house rivality" but also "we're both teenagers and im in love with you but we're on different sides of the war and you're slipping further and further to the dark side and this can't go on so im breaking up with you and licking my wounds alone because i can't tell anyone about our relationship not even my best friend because you're his brother and a death eater then i find out after you died/after you almost died that all this time you were on our side and you've been doing all this on your own and now i regret everything i thought about you and how i couldn't save you" but also "we're teenagers and we're on different sides of the war and i though i could go through with my survival plan and have you too but now things are getting out of control and im in too deep and my brother hates me and you hate me and im surrounded by magical extremists and they're gonna kill me and i have nothing else except my theory on how to stop the dark lord and i can't involve any of you because I'd put you in danger and i can't trust anyone so im doing all this on my own and decide to save my house elf and sacrifice myself for the greater good because i got nothing else left" and then they die. maybe

wow, you have thought about this A LOT. it seems youve thought about how everything would work out. jk rowling bless you and your ship

[kyrodo]

We... sussed out kaskat's group XD of all people. I never expected him to pull me away to another room lol when I turned on player pick up. Even stranger still I never expected to hop off kaskat's instance early to watch kirby. And uhhh we're being shipped together again in places I didn't expect xD choskey has been sweeter with me, and I can feel my heart melting when we're around each other. And Red is getting jealous unfortunately >.> tbh I don't know how things will progress from here. I'm more focused on the journey than the destination at this point, because the journey has been really fun. I have so many things to think about. Small things here and there that C himself has initiated and videos he's shared that relate to us. It would be difficult at this point to say I'm not his crush. And I'm really happy being around him. Petting him. Helping him understand programming. Planning out projects we'll work on together. Or things to play and watch. Helping him find his identity in the furry fandom. Helping him grow. I've helped him in so many ways and had gratitude expressed for it. And thinking back now I think cho wanted the same thing I did from vrchat. A default. Not just random people to visit now and then but someone to plan out things to do with. And that's what I became. People keep saying we're cute together. People keep matching us together onsite in public lobbies even when we're not even doing anything. Just for showing up in our avatars. But it perfectly reflects how I feel inside. I don't want to cheat or hurt Red and I don't think cho wants that either but I do love him a lot. I feel the fire burning inside with so much more weight to it than random fantasies I've had for Twitter mutuals and the like. Memories. Expressions. Identity. Personality. Interactions. Fantasies. This constant study of everything we share and do together and what he could be thinking from them. It is a much more proper crush than all the times I've admired anyone from afar. And one where I know for a fact we get along really well. The problem as always is the destination. Where can love grow when I'm already mated. And I am much more comfortable with the concept of polyamory than I was before, I didn't think I'd actually get anywhere close to it being a reality. I didn't think I'd ever meet anyone that would make me seriously consider it. Though I've certainly been in this hole a lot over the past few years. Red is unfortunately not enough to fulfill my social needs. Gaming wise or activity wise or even sexually if I want to think that far. Red always stops things early. Or regrets the recreational time we share when he'd rather be productive. Or is hyper picky about food, bright lights, socializing etc. I don't fully embrace his worship for emergency services, especially police. I get no assistance finding things to actually do together. So I think a part of me is constantly looking for someone to fill in the gaps that he leaves behind. And maybe that's why I keep falling in love. I desperately need something that I'm not getting sitting still. But I have to be very careful about it. I can't start relationships with people other than Red. I don't want to be known for that. So I'm basically trying to get as close as I can to one without actually making that final step. But again there's no final goal beyond spending as much time as I can with my crush. A situation I never seem to escape but learned to navigate better and safer.

I genuinely and deeply care for choskey. I want to see him happy. I want to see him grow. And I want to spend as much time as I can with him. Because it makes me feel extremely happy. A part of me constantly wishes I could be so much more for him. But maybe this is all I need.

And I know a part of it is to also make up for my trauma, my social and romantic failings. But there's so much more depth to it than that now. Cho's personality and presence is baked into my life now, my daily thoughts, my dreams and wishes. There are very good reasons for me to feel the way I do, reasons even people on the outside would have to respect I think. I mostly wish I had always been this respectful. I would never have gotten hurt at the very least, or at least it would have hurt quieter and without any added drama. Even though I keep falling in love, I'm proud of who I am now, and I don't feel as ashamed about it.

[tediousdelusion]

my controversial(ish, maybe, idk) take on steddy hands is that two semi-apparently contradictory things have to happen first and they are both along the stizzy axis: 1) stede and izzy have to each recognize the other as competent. this takes more growth in stede’s part bc... look my dears, my loves, perhaps even my beloveds. as endearing as stede is, he still ends s1 as an incompetent pirate. he’s never taken a single ship and he has spent his entire life in the lap of luxury. (for his fuckery, he lets the danish board their ship. they live, but they don’t take any property - which is the entire fucking point of piracy). the boy needs to face a material hardship. it builds character, much like working customer service.

and 2.) izzy needs to accept some mild hedonism. pleasure for the sake of pleasure is gooooooood. anyone who tells you different is selling something. this is the one that takes growth on izzy’s part - he doesn’t see value in pleasure alone and like, god, my man perhaps i wish i vibed with you less but...

if these don’t both happen, i can enjoy it, but i can’t believe it, if you feel me. stede is a man who is insecure bc he doesn’t think that he deserves what he has... and up to this point this has lowkey been true. and izzy is fixated on being needed to the point where imo being wanted doesn’t occur to him. (ed is a whole ‘nother bag of worms and this post is toooooo Fucking Long)

but in the end, they need all need to both want and need each other. i think need comes first, but want shouldn’t be short to follow. the want has staying power.

also you can’t dom someone while also being a total incompetent i didn’t say that yes i did (guess im drunk enough)

[destinationtoast]

How does my brain choose fandoms??

Tbh, earlier this year, I half expected to be an all-Wheel of Time blog at this point in time. (This point in time being in the aftermath of the series launch on Amazon. I have some mixed feelings about the series so far that I was going to get into here, and I'll probably get into those in some other post.)

Instead, somehow I'm falling down a Ted Lasso rabbit hole...??? After ~eight years since my last big fandom swoon, the one that brought me into participatory fandom, it seems like possibly I have a new fixation and new OT3. Maybe. At least, I felt compelled to feverishly write 10K about them, and I haven't done that since Sherlock. It's fun! And weird. And my fondness for the show isn't nearly as intense as my adoration of Sherlock S1-S2 was... But neither of them is the kind of canon I expect to fall for (though Sherlock is certainly closer).

Because it's not like I haven't been fannish about other stuff, in very different ways. ASOIAF were my favorite books for many years, and GoT was one of my favorite TV shows (despite many issues). But I just wanted to lurkily read theories about where the books might be going, and reblog the occasional fanart or gifset. I didn't feel called to read or write much fic. I didn't really have any ships (which also made it harder to find fic that spoke to me). And similarly with a bunch of my other favorite books/series -- e.g., Watership Down, Earthsea, His Dark Materials, Imperial Radch, Murderbot -- I just seem to want to consume the canon (and hear others' thoughts about what details they particularly liked or what themes they noticed) but not to transform it. And I guess despite my having a lot more ambivalence about WoT than most of those, that series is also pretty firmly in the category of stuff I don't feel the need to transform. (Though I still would like to read lots of nonbinary and agender WoT fic. And some better approaches to polyamory across the various cultures. But I don't feel any desire to transform any of the canon characters/relationships, despite the myriad problems with them, and in the absence of that, I'd rather just write my own original fic than try to fix the messed up gender dynamics of that world.)

Someday I need to figure out why my favorite books are all SF/F series, but I don't seem to feel compelled to be in transformative or even very participatory fandom for those. Is it because I'm more content with those works as they are? (I have so many issues with WoT, though, despite my love of it. And with the later ASOIAF books, too. And even though I don't have issues with Watership Down, I'd love to have more of it.) Is it because I don't seem to ship non-canonical ships very often or strongly in those works (and why is that)? Is it because my favorite books spend a lot more time closely in the characters' heads, and leave far fewer spaces in the canon to wonder about and want to fill in? (I suspect that's a lot of it, and also I guess that likely contributes to why I don't generally develop non-canonical ships... The characters' thoughts don't leave me room to do so.) I also have loved a lot of SF/F shows that weren't based on books (e.g., Battlestar Galactica, BtVS, Firefly, and in a fairly different way Star Trek), and I've never felt compelled to transform any of those, either. But I think I could imagine doing so more easily than for my favorite books. So maybe it's more about the bookness and the amount of character interiority than it is about the genre?

(There's been a lot of non-SF/F TV that I've loved, too, and that I also haven't felt compelled to read/write fic about. E.g., I'm currently pretty obsessed with Succession. And I recently finished and adored Halt and Catch Fire. And Black Sails was amazing. I even had multiple polyships in Black Sails -- but they were canon!! 😍 So I guess again, I don't feel like I need to mess with canon in these cases... I just want to obsess about it lurkily.)

IIRC, I didn't actually feel a need to mess with Sherlock S1-S2 either, at first anyway, or with Ted Lasso (not that I don't have criticisms). I think in both cases, I started out quite liking the canon, and admiring things about it, but not obsessed. And then I didn't think about it too much for a while. And then SUDDENLY I HAD TO GO LOOK ON AO3 RIGHT NOW because I abruptly had to know if anyone had written any fic about a particular ship that got into my head. (Spoiler alert: there was a lot more Johnlock fic out there than Roy/Keeley/Jamie, ahahahaha.) And from that ship sprung a more general fandom obsession, and a desire to write the particular character/relationship dynamics that I wanted.

But?? Idk, that's also kinda weird if it's maybe my involvement in participatory fandom is exclusively ship-driven?? Not weird in general or in a judgy way, just unexpected for me -- I read books/watch shows for so many reasons, and obsess about them for so many reasons, not just for romance or sexytimes. And I don't know what made me fasten on these particular ships to be super horny about; I often turn to other media besides fiction fanfic when I want erotic material, and it's often kinkier than most of the fic read/write for these ships. Except for the several years in the past decade when I read and was turned on by almost nothing but johnlock(ary), why did that suddenly become my main kink, shrug emoji?? Does this mean that I'm about to spend who knows how long only fantasizing about a dumbass soccer player and the duo that he truly does not deserve??? We Just Don't Know. (For that matter, maybe I only have one K/R/J fic in me, and this thinking is all premature... But they sure are extremely different from S/J/M, and I'm so intrigued by that!)

I guess the biggest question for me, if shipping is indeed my key to fandom -- why haven't I shipped lots of non-canonical ships this hard? There are so many canons out there that I've liked that could benefit from more queer and/or poly dynamics! And lots of those canons have interesting gaps to try to address with fic, even if a few of my favorite books don't leave as much room for that.

A final piece of this puzzle may be my mental state... I was in a deep, deep well of depression and anxiety when I found the Sherlock fandom, and it was a welcome escape. But despite the fact that I've been going through some Intense Heath Stuff lately, and changing jobs, and going through other big life changes -- not to even mention the motherfucking pandemic, ahahaha, sob -- I feel like I'm coping so much better now, and I'm so much happier. I don't need to escape. Still, that's a heaping serving of stress, and maybe I just self-soothe best by diving into a ship/fandom?

Clearly the true statistical answer is that it's pointless to try to generalize from this ridiculously small data set of N=2 transformative fandoms. (Though far larger if you count all the negative examples.) But sparse data is not going to stop me from being curious about and trying to model and understand my own fannish brain! 😹

Curious to hear others' experiences of what differentiates for them a fandom that they want to read/write fic for vs. one where they just obsess over the canon.

[cardentist]

I haven’t been in the star trek fandom for very long (I’ve only just started binging the series in the last couple months), so it’s been pretty surprising to find out just how negative the perception of the reboot movies are.

this isn’t coming from the perspective of someone who grew up with the series, so it hit different for me than it might for people with a different relationship to TOS, but I thought it was genuinely clever and Respectful with how it was handled.

To quote leonard nimoy: “Well the alternative timeline gives them license to escape from canon concerns. I can’t see people saying ‘they shouldn’t do that because…’ or ‘that doesn’t tie in to such and such’ because it is a different time and place. Am I right about that?” [Link]

the entire Premise is that the original series happened as it was presented in TOS, but an event late in Spock’s life caused the creation of a parallel universe in which everyone’s lives were significantly altered through two key changes to the timeline. this gives them the freedom to Both revel in fanservice And explore different facets of the characters and their relationships. 

the destruction of vulcan Vastly impacts the characters and the plot moving forward, and its a detail that a lot of people take issue with. but the emotional impact of sarek admitting Directly to spock that there is value in his humanity, that his feelings Aren’t wrong, that sarek married amanda because he Loved her cannot be understated. you can read all of these things into sarek as he was in the original series, but he Never had an open conversation about these things with spock. this creates a Believable and Rewarding change in their relationship, where we get to see a different facet of them Because of the changes made. and that’s exactly the appeal. showing us pieces of these characters that we never got in TOS that are nevertheless undeniably Them.

everyone is Different yes, but they’re also fundamentally the same people at their core and that matters.

kirk’s personality obviously takes the biggest change, with him experiencing trauma at a young age, losing his father, and having an implied abusive father figure after that point. he has a harsher personality in reaction to harsher conditions, he’s spikier and harder to love. but he’s also still fundamentally a Good person whose willing to risk everything to help people. he still has what made kirk prime a good captain and a good friend.

I’m not gonna say that it’s the most nuanced story in the world, but it explores a version of kirk that was born from even Less fortunate circumstances than kirk prime, exploring a kirk brimming with potential who learned to bite back after he was kicked down. exploring those themes of trauma and loss, of insecurity and growth, and coming to the conclusion that Fundamentally He Is Capable Of Good isn’t a Bad thing. you don’t have to like it, but his growth into a better person is The Point. they deepened his flaws (all of which were present in a less exaggerated form in TOS) To Show That Growth.

and then of course there’s his relationship with spock.

people are totally justified in not liking that they had a rough start to their relationship, I usually don’t like to see that kind of thing in reboots or hollywood adaptations either, but the way people talk about it is just unfair.

Yes kirk and spock and bones have a very strong relationship in TOS, they also already know each other by the time the show starts. to look at them having to learn to get to know and trust each other when they first meet and say that it’s Bad because they were already full on ride or die for each other in the og series is silly. TOS kirk and spock had to meet and fall in love with each other too, it didn’t just happen over night kings.

secondly, the entire point of the first movie is that Even With reality itself being altered to pull them apart they are fundamentally compatible people that are Bound to each other. they meet each other on bad terms because of circumstances outside of their control, and yet they’re still pulled into each other’s orbit and find the other slotting into place next to them as if they always belonged. one of the first things that spock prime says in the movie is “I am and always will be your friend,” spock and jim are Meant for each other and the movie goes out of its way to explain that. which is what makes it so Weird to see people complaining about how they don’t like each other.

it’s a Different relationship, but it’s absolutely no less steeped in yearning or queer subtext. 

speaking of queer subtext ! some people are Very unhappy with spock’s relationship with uhura.

first thing I wanna say is that making the argument that they’re doing anything that the original series hasn’t done is just, completely untrue. kirk has fallen in love with more girls in the og series than he knew what to do with, leonard nimoy was a heartthrob in his time (and he deserves it, awooga) and spock reflects that ! Spock usually turns the women who come onto him down (or when he doesn’t it’s because a plant has literally altered his mind), but there are exceptions to even that. all of three of the main boys have plenty of romance subplots, it happens. if that takes the possibility of them being queer off the table for you (which it shouldn’t, m-spec people exist) then I’m sorry to say that TOS is not exempt.

now, I can understand why Specifically This Relationship could rub people the wrong way or being disappointed that they didn’t outright depict kirk and spock as having a relationship (if not in the first movie then in the following ones after they’ve gotten to know each other), but even in that context the way I’ve seen people talk about it comes off as insensitive.

no, the relationship did not come out of nowhere. they considered having spock and uhura date each other in the original show (and you can see signs of this in the earlier episodes, where uhura very obviously flirts with him and they spend time together in their down time) before they decided against it, and spock was originally going to kiss uhura until shatner insisted that he wanted to do it (because it was the first interracial kiss on tv). [Link 1, Link 2, Link 3]

nichelle nichols was asked about this exact thing (spock and uhura’s relationship in the movie), you can read the interview in full here [Link] but I’d like to highlight this paragraph in particular:

“Now, go back to my participation in Star Trek as Uhura and Leonard (Nimoy) as Spock. There was always a connection between Uhura and Spock. It was the early 60’s, so you couldn’t do what you can do now, but if you will remember, Uhura related to Spock. When she saw the captain lost in space out there in her mirror, it was Spock who consoled her when she went screaming out of her room. When Spock needed an expert to help save the ship, you remember that Uhura put something together and related back to him the famous words, “I don’t know if I can do this. I’m afraid.” And Uhura was the only one who could do a spoof on Spock. Remember the song (in “Charlie X”)? Those were the hints, as far as I’m concerned.”

the film makers looked at the fact there were Hints for uhura and spock, that they were Interested in exploring an interracial couple for the first time (both before and immediately after interracial couples won the right to legally get married) but Couldn’t because of the circumstances of the times and decided to Make that depiction. you don’t have to Like their relationship just because of that fact, but it’s Incredibly reductive to play down it’s significance as just a No Homo cop out. explicitly queer relationships are not the only progressive or culturally important relationships in fiction.

moreover, if you can’t imagine polyamory in the communist utopian future that’s on you.

moreover, this perception that this was a soulless cash grab is just, unfounded.

leonard nimoy returned to the role as spock for the first time in 16 years (since 1991) and this was Entirely because of the respect they had for nimoy, spock as a character, and the franchise as a whole. 

Lets look at some quotes from nimoy in interviews regarding the film:

Leonard Nimoy: When I first read the script (...) I immediately contacted J.J. and said “I think it is terrific…I think you guys have done a wonderful job. There is still work to be done, but it is very clear that you and your writers know what you are doing and you know how to do this movie and know what it should be about….and I am very interested.” Then as time went by we worked things out with Paramount, but the most important things were J.J. and the script. (...) I am very pleased about that and I am very comfortable with where this is going. I think the writers have done a terrific job. They have a real sense of the characters and the heart of Star Trek and what it is really all about.

(...)

TrekMovie.com: Now in the case of the new movie you have been retired from acting for years. What was it about this one that made you want to act again and go through the make up again? What was it that made you say ‘I really want to do this?’

Leonard Nimoy: You are right, this is a special situation. First it is Star Trek and so I have to pay attention. I owe that to Star Trek. Second place is that it is J.J. Abrams who I think very highly of, he is a very talented guy. Then came the script and it was very clear that I could make a contribution here. The Spock character that I am playing, the original Spock character, is essential and important to the script. So on the basis of those three elements it was easy to make the decision. So those three things: Star Trek, J.J. Abrams, and an interesting Spock role.

[Link]

Praising the cast playing younger versions of characters from the original 1960s TV series, he [Leonard Nimoy] said: “Let me take the opportunity to say this. Everybody at this table [the cast] are very, very talented and intelligent people.”

“They found their own way to bring that talent and intelligence to this movie, and I think it shows. (...)  When Karl Urban introduced himself as Leonard McCoy and shook hands with Chris Pine, I burst into tears. That performance of his is so moving, so touching and so powerful as Doctor McCoy, that I think D. Kelley would be smiling, and maybe in tears as well.”

“The makers of this film reawakened the passion in me that I had when we made the original film and series. I was put back in touch with what I cared about and liked about Star Trek, and why I enjoyed being involved with Star Trek. So, it was an easy way to come on home.”

“[In this Star Trek] they said things and showed me things, and demonstrated the sensibility that I felt very comfortable with, and I think that shows in the movie. I like it.”

[Link 1, Link 2]

again, you don’t have to like it just because leonard nimoy did, you don’t have to Agree. but the idea that nobody working on the film Cared is provably false. near everyone working on the project was already a fan of the series or were excited to be involved and did their homework. it’s genuinely a Miracle just how much of a labor of love this was, and in my opinion you can feel that through the movie itself. I’d highly recommend looking into interviews and behind the scenes details about the movies. they had a respect not just for the source material, but for leonard nimoy as a person.

there’s definitely more I Could say about this, but it’s 4 am now so I’m gonna shelve it jklfdsa

that said! it’s Fine to not like the movie, not everything is going to be suited to everyone’s taste, but the specific criticisms I’ve seen feel very off base

[blue-pastel-cat]

Xiaobedo Fanfic Recommendation

Welcome to my personal “if you are new to xiaobedo peeps please read these” list. As said before this is my personal list so please feel free to reblog/comment/hit me for not including any gem here. I might miss a lot of them because I am drunk or blind. (mostly have them on my to read and then forgot as I am being assault by real life shit).

I would like to say first that so far there are 150+ Xiaobedo fics on Ao3. I can’t review all of them but I can say that I have read a majority of them. Most of them are just pure love and I would like nothing more than a thousands thank you for all the fic writers who spent their free time writting these gems for us to read for free. But these...these takes the cake as it finds a special landing spot in my heart that I would just thrust them into someone’s hand if they say “I am new to this ship can you recommend me?”

1. Orange dust by bobamilkteas (Wes)

In which Xiao learns to open himself up to the world a little more after the collapse of Rex lapis's contracts but it was not always easy for a soul doomed to eternal damnation. Meanwhile, Albedo liked to tempt fate where the extraordinary are concerned.

If only the traveler's comrades are made of saner bunch.

Comment: Long ago when I like both Albedo and Xiao as a character, I was wondering hmmm....will anyone actually even write about them lmao they never met each other. I am surprise to see this one as the 3rd fic in the whole 3 Xiaobedo fic on Ao3 (yeah back when there’s literally only 3 fic for this couple). I was like I’ll read it for the curiosity, I’ll probably won’t ship them. And that people is how I put my clown make up on my face upon finishing reading it. This ONE fic alone convert me into a devotee of Xiaobedo. Please consider joining me in this circus if you want to know what is Xiaobedo. I would put this as the first of my “Big 3″

Orange Dust also come with its compliation of short stories over the course of the game and a big sequel to it. Please also consider reading ALL OF THEM.

2. Solar Wind by birdpriestess (Sparrow)

For the yaksha, his duty was his life, and his life was his duty. No human could ever hope to understand the eternal war he fought out of sight and in silence.

So why, then, did he feel that Albedo would understand?

---

Finding himself at death's door once more, Xiao is saved by a surprising person, setting off the unlikeliest of adventures.

Comment: Do you like crying? Do you like the feeling of getting your heart ripped into pieces as the author destroy your emotions over the end of each chapter as the story picked up the climax? Yeah, this one is for you masochists. The action, the characterisation, the drama THE EMOTIONS OH WOW. I kid you not that it was so good I read this while workinng when I am not suppose to me. Also, this fic has my favourite characterisation of Gold ever. I love that dramatic queen Mad Alchemist. AND DAIN. I LOVE DAIN IN THIS FIC. Our dearest Sparrow manage to toy with our feelings like how I bully ruin guard for big numbers lmao. This is the secound of “Big 3″ of my Xiaobedo list.

Again, just like Orange Dust, Solar Wind comes with its own compliation of short stories of what came after that. Please also consider reading ALL OF THEM.

3. Castle of Glass by AlchemicalStardust (Morgie) 

A black shadow rises over Huaguang Stone Forest. Caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, Albedo flees the shaking ground and the crash of boulders tumbling form the sky. As the dust settles, Albedo finds a young man – an Adeptus – amidst the carnage. Despite the karmic agony ripping his body from the inside, Xiao’s only question is “How?” How did a human survive after witnessing his battle?

Comment: The last of the “Big 3″ of my Xiaobedo list. And it is still on going! Castle of Glass? More like I AM IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTIONS! Have you read a fic about 2 people yearning, longing, reaching out for each other so damn well that you just want to throw your phone in the air as they both had their impending doom coming down upon them? Yeah this is one of them. You will like want to be stuck in the moment they express how much they just yearn for each other’s love and care that you want to shake the author for what comes next. Like...everytime Morgie update I am expressing my gratitude at the end of the chapter by writing on Xiaobedo discord “MORGIE COME HERE AND LET ME BONK YOU WHY ARE YOU ENDING IT THERE”

trust me when you read you will def feel the same. With just Big 3 and their compliation alone that would give you like a LONG list of reading already LMAOOOOOOO

4. Find a place to call it home  by yamajiroo 

Our room, he said. Xiao’s brow twitches. Zhongli never said anything about this. But then again, perhaps he should anticipate this from the beginning...

Xiao looks over at Albedo, who is now tilting his head, his look as innocent as ever.

“Are you not okay with sharing a room?”

Comment: College AU for Xiaobedo! One thing that I love this is the slow burn and what made me LOVE LOVE LOVE this fic more is how cute Klee is in this fic. Their relationship in this one is very simple, but that simplicity highlight why their chemistry work. Xiao is someone who was just very gentle, who was largely misunderstood by his lonesome nature. Albedo was someone who like peace and quite in his introvert bubble. And how they respect that bubble that each other has actually made their relationship work. I love it when fic highlight this and this one captures it.

5. I Can't See Your Face From the Other Side of the Classroom by MissWeaver  

When Albedo and Xiao unexpectedly start eating lunch together, they begin to find that they have more in common than anyone would have realized. They both struggle in their own ways with blossoming feelings, too many assignments, and annoying classmates as they navigate a relationship for the first time.

Comment: I’ll be honest, I usually hate high school au just because its so cliche. I don’t even watch and drama/anime surrounds high school student anymore LMAOOO (unless it’s very good). So if there’s an high school AU that I actually keep come back and read after a couple of chapters, it means that the cliche that I hate wasn’t there or barely was there at all. The pinning in this fic makes me want to bang their head together sometimes LMAOOO The tag wasn’t kidding when they said both Xiao and Albedo are bad at feelings. Also that’s a lot of heart broken caused by these two idiots XD

6. new world, same me, same bullshit  by  bobamilkteas (Wes)

At the belly of Dragonspine, Albedo lost control to the festering corruption that permeated his senses and watched, from the recesses of his mind, as his devoured body turned his allies into enemies. Before his rampage reached its climax, he is sealed in a crystalized confinement by the last hand of Reindottir, where he then reawakens centuries after, in a rebooted Teyvat.

Comment: Yeah I know it was list in Orange Dust but here me out. This sets out in an entirely different universe. And if you like Polyamory, this one has Zhongli joining the duo and I love it because I also love ZhongXiao with my life. Time Travel is my biggest kink. Especially when I am the person who love it when people explore Archon War era/ Alatus!Xiao. So this one hits double of my kink. Of course it is still on going and I will bully Wes whenever I can to see that new chapter. Albedo is a total fucking badass in this story and I completely agree from using him in Abyss so often. Everyone should write badass Albedo.

7. misplaced heart of mine by  inkburn           

“If you are ill, then you should be resting at home. In Mondstadt.” He emphasized Mondstadt with a pointed look in his direction.

“I assure you I won’t be troublesome, Adeptus Xiao,” Albedo said, “You’ll find I’m a rather low-maintenance traveler.”

“Travel,” Xiao scoffed, “without airstep?”

Albedo looked him up and down. “Are your legs just for decoration?”

(albedo is sent to liyue on mandatory vacation. xiao is his unfortunate bodyguard.)

Comment: Most of the time you will see Albedo and Xiao starting their relationship with one of them taking interest in another. But this one took another approach, they starting off by make them hating each other’s guts LMAOOOO and I live for every second of it. There’s only 1 chapter so far but wow it was SOOO GOOD. I am really really excited for next chapter and is waiting patiently ;w;

8.  Blossom of Grace  by birdpriestess  

One day in Liyue Harbor, Albedo watches a street performance by an enigmatic dancer named Xiao. And he becomes completely obsessed.

Comment: Have you ever look at Xiao fight and thinking that he’s one of the most beautiful deadly thing ever? How it was like he was dancing around the battlefield? How about actual dancer Xiao being so absolutely beautiful and perfect and that slow burn of Albedo falling in love with that beauty with a touch of Modern AU and cute Ganyu as the Wing woman. Yes, Sparrow delivers yet again another beautiful slow burn and while it’s still ongoing it is worth the read.

9. i think we could make this work (could get used to this) by outspaced               

“Xiao? What are you doing out here?”

“I—”

“It’s raining,” Albedo says, as if it isn’t obvious. “You could get struck by lightning.”

“What are you doing out here then?” Xiao does the only thing he knows how to do, he challenges Albedo. “It’s raining.”

Albedo just hums. “If I get struck by lightning, it’s for science.”

Comment: A short one-shot where I read the summary and went “This is it... this is their relationship.” I am sold immediately. Oh god Albedo why are you like this.

10. Ephemeral by criedprinz        

“It’s not for your investigation, is it?” Aether asked mildly.

Albedo traced a finger around the sketchbook, considering the question. “No,” he admitted finally. “I... I just want to see them again.”

He opened the sketchbook to reveal the drawing he’d just finished. Aether nodded, clearly recognizing the sharp golden eyes.

“Xiao,” he said. “You were rescued by an adeptus.”

When a visit to Dragonspine goes horribly wrong, Albedo is rescued by an unknown stranger, wielding powers he's never heard of. Led on a search to find out who it is, he finds himself in the middle of an unforgettable encounter..

Comment: A really really well written one-shot that I love. The yearning oh godddd the yearning from Albedo side is just so so much that I have to put it here. (I think you can see the trend here lmao. I am a sucker for yearning). And the moment they get to meet each other again is just chef kiss. MWHAA

11. Idle Yaksha, Brilliant Yaksha by Pit0fTheEarth

Alatus didn’t have a lot of responsibilities to keep. He spent most of his days dancing across the sky and eating away all nightmares that plagued a person’s sleep.

But one fortunate encounter led to too many unfortunate ones, taking his carefree existence and plunging it in darkness. His wings, stripped from him. His gentle touch, replaced by an unforgiving grip of destruction.

There was a lot of blood on his hands. With each passing moment, it became harder for Alatus to recall the last time someone gently held him.

Comment: This is one of the ongoing fic where I am very very much excited on the take of Naberius. And the way the author portray Xiao when he’s still the innocent Alatus is just *clench fist*. Baby ;w; Baby why do you have to lose all that innocence. Also the fic has long LONG flashback to Xiao past and his relationship with Naberius. We are unwielding more what happened to both of them and why perhaps does this have to do with Albedo.

That’s it for now, might add more later! Thank you <3

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 1

It’s been longer than usual since our last answer session, so I’m answering a ton of questions today! It’s so big I split it into two parts. Thank you for the patience on getting a response to these.

Thanks for reaching out to us with your questions and kind words ^^!

Sorry if this has been asked before or isn't something you can say but is there anyway for Cove to confess in step 4? I wanted him to confess in step 3 and followed all the steps to make him do it but ended up texting my family instead of Cove at the end.

Yeah, Cove can confess in Step 4!

Hello! I heard that Cove is on the spectrum, albeit undiagnosed. As someone who is ND, this makes me UNBELIEVABLY happy. I literally was brought to tears! Thank you for that!

Out of curiosity, will Cove be diagnosed in Step 4? I have a strong feeling y’all won’t make it a HUGE deal/make it out to be negative, so I’m not worried about that whatsoever! I’m just curious just he’ll off handedly mention it? Or will it just not be touched upon at all (which is ok!)?

Either way is ok, I’m just curious!

I’m happy it made you happy! Admittedly, Cove simply being someone with autism that grew up not being diagnosed was something I included for myself. I didn’t really think anyone would notice or ask about it, aha. But players did start to have questions about his traits, so I started to talk about it outside of the game. It’s great to see it get such a positive response and now I do feel like having it be a non-topic may have been the wrong choice and bringing it up would’ve been good in terms of having positive representation for that. I don’t know if I’ll find a way to mention it in Step 4 now, with how far along the game is, but I am at least thinking about it when originally it wasn’t something I really even considered.

Hey!  Just wanted to say thank you for Our Life.  It's been a bright spot and a needed escape in what's otherwise been a crummy year.  I know you just did a Q&A post but I figured I'd ask anyway.  Was just curious about Step 4.  Will it be similar to the other Steps in that it consists of several different moments or will it just be one long sequence?

Step 4 is shorter than the prior Steps because it’s just an epilogue rather than a full arc of a story. It’ll consist of scenes that all happen in a set row one after the other. There won’t be a collection of Moments to choose from. But it’ll still be very sweet and fun.

¡hola!, you see, first I want to say that I love Our Life! (°◡°♡) and I have 2 important questions, would Cove cry watching titanic? and what is the saddest part according to him? (sorry for my english) 

Titanic would make him cry. He’d probably think the parts showing people who aren’t able to make it to the life boats/are choosing to stay and go down with the ship were the saddest.

Hello, I wanted to ask how much you earn with creating games? Like is it possible to make a living? Thank you >< <3 

How much I earn varies a lot month to month based on Steam sales, Patreon backers, and how many projects are in full production at the time. It’s also hard to say how much I make historically, since that also changes dramatically year by year. But I do earn enough to work on these games full time! I really appreciate all the support that allows me to do that.

Hey!! I was wondering for the 18+ Our Life moment, will there be an emphasis on safety/comfort for all involved? I feel like there  would be just going off of what the rest of the game is like, but I wanted to ask 

Yes! Cove is a nervous boy himself and also super cautious about doing anything the MC doesn’t like, so clear consent from both is absolutely needed for anything to happen. It’s a conversational sexy times Moment with stops/starts so the two can talk about how they’re feeling, rather than a heat of the moment just going for it kind of thing.

Hey!! I was wondering how long the wedding dlc would be? Will it be broken up into moments, or just one big event? 

It’s one long series of scenes all in a row rather than a collection of Moments to pick from. It’s the shortest and the least expensive of all the DLCs. It’s not super crucial to get and those who aren’t into big weddings can totally skip it without worry.

HELLO AMAZING DEVS 👋 i am hopelessly in love with the worst guy ever (jeremy king) and because of this i have a really stupid question: does he really hate people who are nice to him? TvT he’s too cute to be mean to istg it’s a miracle JB held the urge to be consistently nice to him bc just look at his FACE he is so cute! thank you for jeremy’s route it’s so lovely (and awful bc he’s scum 11/10) it gave me so much laughs LMAO i hope you guys have a good day!! 

Haha, thank you. He doesn’t hate them but he’s certainly not pleased with them. Jeremy is either uncomfortable with or annoyed by people being sweet on him, depending on how they approach it. He’s far more comfortable with jerkiness. It lets him relax and he can be himself without it being a problem, since he’s also a jerk. He feels a level of guilt being such a little punk to kind people, not enough to be a better person but still.

Has Cove dated or been interested in someone other than MC? 

Nope! He stays single over the course of the game if he’s not with the MC.

Is Step 4 more mature? Or it's gonna be set in similar atmosphere as Step 3? 

Step 4 is a similar atmosphere as Step 3. Though, it’s actually kind of less mature-topic heavy than Step 3 since it’s just a ‘hey, let’s check in on the gang to see what they’re up to’ style epilogue rather than a story arc with serious issues.

will there be new music for now and forever?? or will the old our life music be reused? 

It’s gonna be a brand new soundtrack. We’ll be opening up a job position for that soon.

Hi, is it okay if we use the assets in Our Life (like the sprites) for fanworks or fan content content, like edits? 

Sure! Just as long as you don’t use the assets made by those artists to make money.

Quick clarification on Step 3 choices: I hope I didn't come off rude (because I LOVE the game, really!!), I was just curious because the intro threw me off at times. For example, you could choose how you felt about Elizabeth in Step 2 (Dinner), but during the Step 3 intro, it says that you got closer to Liz and I didn't get a choice in it. 

For the example, it can’t be helped that you’re closer to Liz in Step 3 than you were in Step 2 because she’s inherently closer to the MC regardless of whether you liked her or not in Step 2. Her feelings are out of your control and the game isn’t so dramatic that you can push her affection away and not let her bond with you, haha. But ‘being closer’ can still be relative. For some people maybe that means you’re best buds now and for others it might just mean you’re not fighting all the time any more. If there’s other parts you want to mention, feel free to let us know.

Did the illustrator for Our Life change? 

We have many OL artists! The main artists who set the game’s style haven’t changed, but there’s multiple other artists who help finish assets.

So Miranda's type is confident and outgoing, huh? So...does that mean Terri's her type?? 👀 

Haha, sorry for the late reply on this. As you might’ve seen in our post yesterday- yeah that is her type.

Hey! First, I just want to say I've really enjoyed how detailed OL got with gender identity and sexuality and how respectful the topics were handled! It's been so wonderful to play since the experiences could be close to my own (I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up at parts). Second, I was wondering, would future games explore the topic of polyamory? I'd love to see more visual novels allow room for that and I saw you've explored the topic before.

Keep up the amazing work! ♡

Thank you! We do want to include polyamory in at least some of our future projects. Floret Bond, which might be what you’re referring to when mentioning how we’ve explored the topic before, is on hold unfortunately. So right now I’m not sure when something might release or what will be the first game of ours to come out with poly relationships (we might do something else before FB is done). We’ll have see how things ends up coming together.

Hey um. I feel like im not allowed to ask this on the private discord cuz people will yell at me but why is there so much focus on OL2 and not finishing OL1 stuff? I like the new people but i kind of want to finish cove's story and get derek and baxter stuff first. didn't people pay for it? 

I’m sorry, I don’t understand entirely what’s making that situation a concern. There’s a channel in the discord for critique where no one is allowed to comment back. People can voice things they’re worried about without any way for others to push back on it. And the two teams working on the OL games are different. We try to post pretty often about how we’re hiring brand new people to start on Our Life: Now & Forever. The OL1 team is all still working on OL1 like normal. There’s only more updates on the Patreon for OL2 because the expansions to the first game are mostly script-based at this point while OL2 is just starting to get all its art, which means there’s a lot more to show off as previews.

Also, there was a Kickstarter for the first Our Life, if that’s what you mean by people paying for it. But one of the stretch goals was to start Our Life 2 early, before fully completing Our Life 1, so that the new game could be out sooner. It wouldn’t make sense to stop doing OL2 work because that would be going against what backers were promised. Maybe you didn’t get the full story before and hopefully this clears it up!

Hello! I know it's up to every player but.. What is your recommendation for playing order? Did you ever had any timeline  events planned? 

I didn’t make the events with a planned timeline. The events got made simply as I had ideas for them and then I just kind of organized them from left to right on the screen in an order to space out more dramatic ones between more lighthearted ones. Any order the player wants to go with is totally valid!

Hi! It's Step 4 a paid dlc or update? And how long it's planned to be? Ps. Love the game! 

The Step 4 epilogue is free! The Cove Wedding DLC does cost money, though. Those are planned to be shorter than the usual Steps/DLCs.

Will we have options for what sort of job the MC might have by the time step 4 takes place? 

Yeah, you can. It’s not super exact or detailed, but there are options about it.

Is there a pandemic in Our Life world, or is it just in a better timeline with no pestilence? 

Our Life is pandemic-free! That didn’t exist when we began working on the project and it’s not something we’d like to feature in this story now that it has unfortunately come along, aha.

Hi, you said that you can play tic-tac-toe or hangman with Cove in Boating if you're sick/scared but I keep getting tic-tac-toe. Am I doing something wrong?

After being sick/scared you have to continue to be upset/unwell. If you calm down and decide to just chill you’ll end up playing tic-tac-toe.

Hi, GB Patch! Since Lee was initially commissioned to only appear in two Steps does this mean she won't appear in the Wedding DLC? I really like her character so it'll be a little weird to not have our cousin at our wedding, aha.

She is gonna be in Step 4/the wedding DLC after all! We’re still working with her creator to make sure it fits with what they wanted.

Is Sunset Bird based on a real place? Asking for a friend, not trying to move there or anything. 👀

It’s based on small beach towns in So-Cal, but not one specific town you could go see in real life, I’m afraid. It’d be nice if it was real, though.

—– —– —– —–

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[shotofstress]

The time cell loop and its meanings

Ok, so I was seeing Loki again and now that I saw it for the second time I realized that in truth Loki's relationship with Sylvie was not written to be a couple, but Loki doing for her what Mobius and Thor (in the movies later, not the relationship they have before Loki was taken over by TVA), but above all Mobius did for him. They are written even if you like as a platonic romantic couple. In all this process of Loki accepting what he really wants and needs, we have him developing a relationship with Mobius, with whom he feels accepted, he sleeps in front of him (not like Sylvie) and they have a body language that we see develop (with crossed arms sitting far away at the table and then with their legs open and their legs between each other under the table). This changes when Mobius feels betrayed, but not only because Loki was "a bad friend", but because he thought they had something and was filled with jealousy when he thought he had left him for Sylvie.

During all of episode 4 Mobius and Ravonna say that they DO NOT KNOW what caused the Nexus Event, but during the interrogation Mobius speaks not from his role as an agent, but from his own person, from his jealousy, anger and grief, with a broken heart he tells Loki that he cannot be trusted because he betrays people and is unnecessarily hurtful in saying that what he asumes happen between Loki and Sylvie is twisted and egotistical. What he assumes is the Nexus Event, which not only breaks the reality of the Sacred Timeline, but " is breaking my reality right now. " So, when Loki tells him that of all the TVA lies the biggest one is the one Mobius tells himself it takes on a double meaning. Now, and here is the other important thing: Mobius choose a memory for the loop that will serve as a catharsis against Loki, where he can express what he feels, but without having him say it, and what is that memory? when Lady Sif hits him and tells him that he is a shit and that will always be alone. Context? Loki cuts his hair to get the attention of Lady Sif for fear that she will leave him, but also not knowing how to process the possibility of having a relationship with her. Lady Sif and Loki had been in a relationship at the time (this was confirmed by the actress) and so Lady Sif was particularly hurt by Loki's imbecility. Mobius chose THIS moment knowing the whole story behind. Lady Sif represents Mobius, the pain and feeling of betrayal caused by Loki, a mockery of his and her love. The first thing Mobius says to Loki when he takes him out of the time cell loop? That if he really believes that he, Loki, deserves to be alone. He also says that he doesn't really know what caused the Nexus Event in Lamentis 1, so he was just speaking out of jealousy. But what caused it? Loki and Sylvie opening up, Loki telling Sylvie that she is great, very good with magic, intelligent and strong, attributes that are generally pointed out in a negative light against Lokis, but not by Mobius or Thor with their Loki. In fact, what caused Sylvie's Nexus Event was that she did not go down the path of misery, sadness and destructive chaos assigned to the Lokis; We see her as a child playing with a Valkyrie (who represents the good, the heroic) fighting a dragon (the bad, the destruction, the devil) thus avoiding the apocalypse, her apocalypse because we also see a Nordic ship to reinforce what is being plamting here, and the scene is completed with a wolf that is Fenrir, son of Loki who is supposed to be one of those responsible for Ragnarok but will no gonna win in Sylvie's game thanks to the valkyrie. Sylvie was rejecting everything negative about Loki and being taken by the TVA and escaping literally returns to that logic to some extent, that's why she lives in apocalypses and kills He Who Remains, but before that she has the moment with Loki in Lamentis, a small space where she is not driven by her pain, trauma and injustices in a destructive way.

Going back to Mobius; Later we will see the famous framing of Loki and Mobius hugging where we clearly see the sword and before this, we see Mobius passing his daggers to Loki in the locker room. Love is a dagger and the closest relationship to romantic couple love is Lokius, and if Mavel and Disney weren't some leech fascist bastards they could have maintained the narrative line between the three characters that were at play in all the first 5 episodes, and even camouflaged a polyamorous relationship between the three. ; Loki and Sylvie in love with Mobius and Mobius with them, but not Sylvie with Loki. But that is and that is what she had to say. Now I'll wait for the fics and the fan art.

EDIT: When I say polyamorous relationship it is not necessarily in the standard dynamics of girl/boyfriends or marriage in a traditional loving sex-affective relationship narrative, polyamory has various dibamics and types of relationships and interactions. Due to the cognotation that the term "amorous" usually generates in people, I personally prefer to call it polyaffective (since you do not necessarily have to be in love with all or some of the people with whom you generate this group or relationship), but I don't know if it is something in the polyamorous community. I point this out due to a tag that someone put, in order to clarify something that this person pointed out and also make my opinion more clear. So, yes, could be polyam even if is a platonic thing between Lokius and Sylvie :)

[avengerscompound]

Until the End of the World - 10

Until the End of the World: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count:  1801

Rating:  E

Warnings: pregnancy

Synopsis: Four years after Steve and Bucky got to the bottom of the HYDRA conspiracy that had led to you and your son being hunted for the first three years of his life, you, Bucky, and Steve have carved out a nice life together.  Things are calm and you feel like a family unit.  When Geo starts calling Bucky and Steve ‘dad’, a decision is made to try and add to your family.

Things aren’t as calm as they seem.  When your pregnancy hits the papers, HYDRA rears its head once again, and Steve and Bucky need to track you down to protect the family they had created.

Chapter 10

The tabloid sites all latched on to the story of you being pregnant very quickly.  Due to the fact you were often seen out with either Bucky or Steve or both, there had been speculation about who exactly you were.  Theories went from dating one and cheating on them with the other.  Being a ‘close family friend’.  Dating one and the other being a close friend.  Bouncing between them both like a ping-pong ball.  Many fans speculated that they were polyamorous.  Bucky had even made the mistake of going deep into the ‘Avengers fandom’ and discovered people doing what they called ‘shipping’ the three of you together.  Not just the three of you but him and Steve with all kinds of people.  He’d stopped looking when he saw people writing stories about him and Tony together.  It turned out there were things he was better off not knowing.

None of the tabloids ever assumed polyamory though, and neither he nor Steve was going to confirm it for them.  That made your pregnancy the subject of a lot of speculation.  Whose baby was it?  The most loved version of the story was that it was Bucky’s love child conceived while you were cheating on Steve with him.

It was a little stressful, but Bucky had heard worse.  There was still a vocal majority that considered him a threat that should have been tried for his crimes years ago.  Bucky had learned a long time ago not to google himself unless he was feeling particularly self-destructive.  You, on the other hand, were still learning, so it took some reassuring that this matter was no one else's business.

Besides the ever-present gossip mill, things were going well.  Every doctor's appointment showed that the baby was developing well.  All the tests you had were coming back fine.  You seemed to be full of energy and Geo was starting to get excited about the idea of having a little brother or sister.  The new place was nearly finished.  Bucky hadn’t been sent on a mission for a long time.  He felt happy - and that was a feeling he liked to experience as fully as he could because he knew from experience how fleeting it could be.

The three of you had decided to take Geo along to the ultrasound where you’d be finding out the sex.  He had only seen pictures of the baby so far and you’d thought he might like to see them moving around and find out if he was having a brother or a sister.  According to you, the baby was kicking a lot at the moment, so you weren't worried about bad news being delivered.

Geo sat on Bucky’s lap while Steve sat beside you, holding your hand as the technician squeeze the gel onto your stomach.  “Have they been kicking much?”  Brown asked as she began to move the wand around on your stomach.  Bucky looked up at the screen, waiting for the baby to come into view.

You smiled and nodded.  “So much.  The little nugget is going to be a fighter.”

Brown smiled.  “Just like it’s dads, huh?”  She said.  “Has anyone else felt the kicks?”

“Not yet,” Steve answered.  “I can’t wait though.”

The baby came into view on the screen.  You’d been getting pretty regular ultrasounds with your checkups and Bucky liked how the little blob was getting bigger and looking more like a baby every time.  “It shouldn’t be too much longer.  I’d bet by the end of the week you get a little flutter against your hand.”

Steve looked at Bucky and grinned and Bucky couldn’t help but lean over and peck his lips.  Geo didn’t seem that happy with the action and he wriggled in Bucky’s lap.  Bucky chuckled and pulled back.  “Can you see the baby, G?”  He asked, pointing at the screen.

Geo nodded.  “The machine is really cool how it works.  It’s using sound to make the shape of the baby inside mom.”

“That’s right,” Brown said.  “You’re a smart kid.”

Geo looked up at Bucky and grinned obviously very proud of himself.  Bucky smiled and ruffled his hair.

“If you see here,” Brown said.  “This is the baby's head, and their spine.  They have hands and feet and you can even see their toes and fingers…”

Geo watched on fascinated by the digital image of his new sibling.  Not just because that was his new sibling, but because he had a scientific fascination with where it was developmentally and how the machines could show what they show.  He asked lots of questions about whether it could hear or see and how it absorbed food.  Bucky couldn’t really remember what kids were like, and so he had no idea if this was advance thinking for a seven-year-old or not.  He felt like it was advanced though, and he made a mental note to ask you later.

“Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”  Geo asked.

“I can find out,” the tech said.  “Is that okay, Captain Rogers?”

Steve chuckled.  “It’s not just my decision to make.”

Brown hid her face behind her hands for a moment and shook her head.  “I’m so sorry, that is such a default reaction.”

“It’s fine,” Steve said.  “Please just relax.  We’re just patients.  And yes, we already decided we wanted to find out.”

She moved the wand around to get it into position.  “Well, bud,” Brown said.  “Did you have a preference?”

“I dunno,” Geo said.  “I don’t have either.”

“Well you don’t have a brother,” Brown said.  “You’re going to have a little sister.”

“It’s a girl?”  Bucky asked, looking over at you and Steve to see your reactions.  Steve looked like he’d been lit up from the inside, and tears had pricked your eyes.

“That’s right.  It’s a girl,” Brown confirmed.

“A little girl,” Steve said, softly.

“Now we have one of each,” Bucky said, and Geo turned around on Bucky’s lap and hugged him.  Bucky closed his arms around the boy, hugging him tightly.  “You’re gonna be such a good big brother,” Bucky whispered as he hugged the boy.

“Do you want any pictures this time?”  Brown asked.

“Yes, please,” you said, quickly.

Brown cleaned off the paddle and pressed the button to print out the photos of the baby.  You grabbed some kleenex from the counter and cleaned the gel off your stomach.  “You think Morgan will be excited there’s going to be another little girl around?”  Steve asked Geo.

“Probably,” Geo said.  “As long as she likes robots too.  Umm… you think the baby will be able to talk to the computers like I can?”

Steve furrowed his brow as he helped you up.  Bucky shook his head to clear it.  It was strange, despite the fact that Geo had powers that he’d clearly gotten from you, and the fact both he and Steve had the Super Serum, the thought of a super-powered baby had never really crossed their minds.  It was like all that was just such a normal part of their lives now, they didn’t really think about how it impacted things.  You didn’t have powers and it was possible the only reason Geo did was that both you and his father had been through experimentation so close to his conception.  It could be that those drugs were now completely out of your system, but no one had thought to look into that first.

“You know what?”  Steve said eventually.  “I don’t know.”

“Probably should have considered that before we dived in with both feet, huh?” You said.

“You could ask your obstetrician about doing an amniocentesis,” Brown suggested.  “Then they could do a genetic workup.  Check for abnormalities.”

“Don’t they have risks involved?”  You asked.

“Sure, but normally it’s one of those things where there are risks involved either way, and you decide which outcome is worse,” Brown explained.

You furrowed your brow and nodded and Bucky wondered what you were thinking.  “Thank you, Miss Brown,” Steve said.  “We’ll see you next time.”

“Of course,” she said, brightly.  “See you.”

The four of you walked out into the ward and headed to the elevator.  “I’m sorry if I upset you,” Geo said as the doors opened.

“You didn’t, G.  Don’t worry,” you assured him, kissing the top of his head.  “It’s just not something we thought about when we probably should have.  Because you got your powers from me and your birth dad, but Bucky and Steve have their own powers.”

“Well, we’re enhanced,” Steve corrected them.  “Not the same as what you have.”

“I think…” Bucky said slowly, aware that this was not a discussion that should be held in front of Geo, but also knowing that the boy needed to be reassured that his powers were not a negative, nor would he be losing the sister he really only just met.  “I think it might be too late to worry about.  I mean… what if they do find out the baby is enhanced?  It’s not like we would love them any less, or not want them.  They’d just be special, like Geo.”

“Of course,” you said quickly.  “We would have done this either way I think.”

“So… let’s just wait and see.  We don’t want to risk anything bad happening,” Bucky said.  “The baby looks normal, so we know it’s not a tentacle beast.”

Geo started laughing.  “That would be so cool.”

“She might not be able to talk to computers even if she does have powers though, G,” you said, stifling your own laugh. “When I had powers I could hear people’s thoughts.  And your dad, he could run really fast.”

“Wow,” Geo said. “I hope she can fly.”

“Oh my goodness,” you said.  “I don’t.”

“Yeah, imagine having to change a diaper on a baby and it’s zooming around over your head,” Bucky said, making Geo breakdown into fits of giggles.

“Alright, Geo,” Steve said.  “You go wash up and we’ll have some lunch.  Do you want to see if Morgan can come to play and you can tell her all about your sister?”

“Yeah, alright,” Geo said, running off to the bathroom.

Steve turned to you and Bucky and took your hands.  “It’s going to be fine,” he said.  “We can face whatever happens, I know we can.”

“Let’s just hope they can’t fly,” you joked.

“We’ll handle that too,” Steve said.

“Yeah, we’ll put a little harness on them, and weigh them down with rocks,” Bucky joked and you burst out laughing.

Steve wrapped his arms around you and pulled Bucky in close so that all three of you were holding each other.  Bucky closed his eyes and breathed you both in, confident that together, you could all handle whatever powers she may or may not have.

// NEXT

[demonfox38]

Okay. Made it through the last season of Netflix's "Castlevania" interpretation. Thoughts are below the cut.

I've often thought of this series as the exploitation version of "Castlevania," and hiring Malcom McDowell confirms that.

Although, I find it hilarious that both Malcolm McDowell and Patrick Stewart have ended up voicing the same character. I'm sure there's a "Star Trek Generations" joke to be made in there, but I'm not Mike Stoklasa.

Also, I was cracking up a bit when Varney's plot twist happened. Mostly, because it came off a bit Skeletor-esque in vocal performance.

Also, also—laughing that the final boss went the "Castlevania: Lament of Innocence" route despite barely touching on that game's plot.

Animation had its ups and downs with this season. It seemed like there were some frame issues (not enough inbetweening.) I do appreciate how they incorporated more of Alucard's SOTN animations into his fights, however.

Additionally, some of the fight scenes' pacing seemed to have issues, particularly regarding weapon recovery.

The whole bit with St. Germain was off. Like, he's a weird asshole in "Castlevania: Curse of Darkness", but he's more of a weird asshole there in the same way that casually encountering "Doctor Who"'s Doctor would also be strange. Not a straight up villainous boob. Kinda makes sense thematically to have another character who is willing to do horrible shit for their lost loved one, but the series honestly did not do a good job establishing her. Like, did she even have a voice actor? Or a name? All I'm saying is it was much easier for outsiders to get the Lisa revenge thing Dracula had going.

Also, how dare you joke about not being deaf and then have a villainous monologue, TV show.

Greta's a good girl. Well, outside of being an occasional homewrecker. Point is, she's competent and trying her best to save people in a bad situation, and anyone having issues with her is not to be trusted in the same way that you don't trust people who don't like Rochelle from "Left 4 Dead 2."

Look at me. Do not trust people who do not like Rochelle from "Left 4 Dead 2." Yes, her writing could have been better, but she's still a viable character. Let people Thunder Child their ships on the rocks of your better self. Got me?

Also, y'all really need to embrace more polyamory. Or understand the fact that Alucard's not going to love just one person in his life. Dude lives to be at least 600 in the game's timeline. For a dude who loves humans, constricting him to just one who may live to be 100 at best is cruel.

There are some interesting philosophical dialogues going on here, but I can see where some people may lose their patience for them. Considering one of Castlevania's most popular memes is a philosophy debate, you're just gonna have to suck that up. My personal favorites included the topic of acting versus reacting, as well as having agency in one's story.

Striga's battle theme was cool, but otherwise, the music was forgettable. Yes, that is a sin. Punishable by Death? In this series, maybe!

The gore's still over the top. Which, okay, fine. There's a bit of that in game. It's just generally a bit more reserved with it or uses it in crucial boss fights.

RIP doggie.

The Targoviste plot's a bit of a wash, but it doesn't feel as useless as Trevor and Sypha's previous plot predicament. It's just nothing of a surprise, considering how many times the writing has played the "authority figures are useless" and "dark secret surprise" tropes in this series. Like, Greta being reliable is actually more surprising than anything with this plot.

I cannot emphasize enough how boring I found Carmilla's interpretation and plot arc. You guys could have had a giant, naked lesbian riding a skull and spewing magic at people while her cat-eared girlfriend jumped them for extra damage. But no. Vanilla lady with a scarlet sword for you. So long. Farewell. Auf Wiedersehen. Good night.  

Gotta say, as much of a deviation from his source character as he is, Isaac really turned out well in this series. He's definitely evidence that you don't always need to stick to source material.

His Abel is fucking sick, dude. Way to go, king.

Also, I was expecting more violence from Hector this season. Oh, well. At least he got a teeny bit of a spine.

Look. I'm not an alchemist by any means. I'm just a bit baffled by this season's emphasis of obtaining a Rebis. Like, any time the game series has talked about the Magnum Opus of Alchemy, it's more been in pursuit of making a Philosopher's Stone (or at the very least, a Crimson Stone, as seen in "Castlevania: Lament of Innocence.") Pulling a Rebis out of the aether is…well. Could have been more interesting than it was. I mean, it was a bit nightmarish, but it really didn't do much.

Sypha's really never getting back to her family, is she?

Love the idea that the cross subweapon is basically a fancy chakram.

GERGOTH. BUDDY. FRIENDO.

Really appreciating the monster variety in these last two seasons. I mean, that's a big selling point of the "Castlevania" games. Not so much vampires standing around and bickering in dick-waving contests.

Breaking out of the bullet points to hit on the big subject of this season—that is, the ending being surprisingly happy.

There's been a lot of shit that's happened over the last few years. Obviously, a pandemic. Konami's run by pricks. Then, there's the situation with the allegations of sexual coercion with Warren Ellis. Additionally, the terrible ending of "Game of Thrones" likely impacted how this season was developed, considering it seemed to be chasing its progression in construction. (I mean, look at Carmilla and Daenerys.) I don't know how many people were happy with the last season of "Castlevania," but from my POV, it double-tapped itself in the foot with the way it pushed simultaneous sex and violence in its last two episodes. My point is, there was little taste for additional darkness, considering everything that has been happening. Society is drained.

A happy ending was what people really wanted. And man, did this pull through, in that regard. But, there's a conversation to be had in if this swerved too far or if it violates some artistic integrity to give people what they want. So, let's have it.

Look. Man. Have you seen a "Castlevania" ending? When you do it right, it's crumbled castles and rainbow-colored skies. If you do it really right, it results in a pretty girl holding the main character's hand. There is happiness in these games. Hope. Forgiveness and redemption. If this is supposed to be any bit an accurate interpretation of these games, it absolutely should end in such a joyful fashion. (Okay, maybe giving Dracula and Lisa a second honeymoon at the end was a bit much, but I get where people would want that.)

Did some items need to be addressed more? Absolutely. Alucard staking people and Hector getting sexually coerced into servitude are some pretty big topics to just wave away. (Oh, shit. That second part is even worse now with what Ellis was allegedly doing, isn't it?) I suppose I'm just glad the series didn't go full Sephiroth with Alucard. And at least Hector finally took some stand in his situation, even if it wasn't the bombastic, hateful revenge I'm used to seeing from this character in other stories.

I think the creators of this series were trying to save this show from the fate of "Game of Thrones." (To some extent, perhaps the "Voltron" re-interpretation as well.) There's so much media out there anymore that if a production team doesn't nail the ending, their creation gets wiped out of the collective consciousness. To that extent, I think the creators were successful in saving their series. Did it do damage to itself in yanking out of its construction and themes? A bit. But, in doing so, it pivoted back to being more like a proper "Castlevania" product. (And of course, by proper, I mean anything ignoring "Lords of Shadows." God, people need to stop chasing other products when developing "Castlevania" stuff and just let the series be as it is.)

I am very curious as to how much of this season was part of an original draft and how much was revised in backlash to everything that has happened. It doesn't seem like Trevor was intended to survive, but to some extent, Sypha had to. (I mean, until she has a kid, anyway. See "Lords of Shadows" series for dickery regarding that.) I'm also wondering if there was more intended for the Carmilla subplot, as much as the series was banging on about her invading locations. I'm not even sure St. Germain was intended to be a villain all along. Getting into a bitchfight with Death? Sure. Doing what he did here? That's a weird arc, dude.

If you come away from my POV with anything, it should be this: GO PLAY THE GAMES.

Do it. Do it, you ghouls. Go to the Steam store and download the "Castlevania Anniversary Collection." Boot up your PS3 or 4 or 18 or whatever and get "Symphony of the Night." Throttle Nintendo's stores until "Aria of Sorrow" or "Dawn of Sorrow" or "Harmony of Dissonance" or whatever rattles out of their moldy pockets. Find a ROM. Find an ISO. Just play a game. Especially, one of the ones made before 2010.

"Castlevania" as a game series isn't about hordes of vampires dick-waving at each other or edgy swearing or being grim and dark. Some of that stuff's there, sure. But, at its core, it's what game developers created when they looked at Universal Monster Movie creations and went "That's cool. Let's fight that!" It's a series about pushing technology in MMC chips to make rich, vibrant music. It's about flourishing artwork and layers of sprites dripping particles and gore onto players. It's sober and goofy and very pro curry.

The thing is, "Castlevania" players have their own unique connection to the series. We're the weirdos you see clapping their hands when a mutilated dinosaur shows up on screen. It's not because the monster alone is cool. It's that we've fought and struggled and bodied that thing through several floors like a goddamn "X-Men: Children of the Atom" stage. It's kicked our asses. We've kicked its ass. We've got a connection to it that you just don't get from passively watching it barf lasers through a computer monitor or TV screen. Like, you know how people go, "Well, the movie wasn't as good as the book?" It's obnoxious, sure. But, those who read the source materials have to go to the effort of constructing their own sets and people to understand what's happening. In a similar fashion, game players build up their own skill set to reach that next rung.

Maybe you don't always get a payout when you invest your resources into something. But, there is a sense of accomplishment, seeing what you can do.

There's a reason this series got an adaptation. I mean, outside of Konami's head executives wanting easy money. "Castlevania" is a fantastic video game series. Has it got a few problems? Oh yeah. Especially after outsourcing and pachislot machines became all the rage. But, there's a reason Simon and Richter Belmont are playable in "Super Smash Bros. Ultimate." There's a reason I spent a significant amount of time playing these games and writing or drawing fanworks for it. These games are wonderful. Beautiful. Difficult, but inspiring. Reasons I will still bang on about them decades years down the road.

When I get exasperated by layers of angst and edge lord content this Netflix series generated, I want you to know why. The roots of this show are good games held captive under poor management. Some people on staff know this. I wish they had more scenario and writing control. But mostly, I don't want to shit on them or their work. (Well, other than perhaps the obvious target.) I just want you to see what I love in these games.

And also to watch Crashervania. Because that's legit.