#my therapist is also useless and i hate her

[frankpunisher]

.

[neverendingford]

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[danieyells]

Can I see Romeo's voicelines please? He's such a failguy, I need to knowwww

How dare you call him a failguy!

he is THE failguy. don't make him sound offbrand.

i love Romeo he is honestly so ridiculous like. . .you meet Romeo in the first chapter and you do NOT realize he's going to be like. . .that. . .in the Sinostra chapter. . . .

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"Hey! I'm talking to you, BB! If you've got time to wander around, you've got time to wipe the tables!"

i thoguht the pc was supposed to be doing uh background work for you at the casino. why is she cleaning tables!? go ask her to run drugs for you or something.

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Excuse me? What sane person lets their messages pile up like this!? Deal with them or I'll deal with you!"

'clean up your inbox or they will have to clean you and put you in a box'

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"Fuji... Come out, come out, wherever you are... Tch, where did he go? Why is running away the only thing he's good at!?"

"Listen up—call me Fico. That's the only name I'll respond to, understand!?"

disregard the 'Lulu' from Taiga, 'Romi-sama'/'Ro-Ro' from Leo, 'RomiRomi' from Rui. . .'Fico' is for underlings, and you are an underling!

"Come to my private office later—I've got a little proposal I think you'll want to hear.  But make sure you come alone."

"Just go! I cannot deal with this WTWUT! Wall-To-Wall Useless Trash, obviously!"

that was a long acronym!

"Time to count this month's protection fees... Not bad. I'll up this group by 2% next month. This one could go a little higher too..."

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Why does that DOF want to meet so early in the morning? If I get bags under my eyes because of this, I'm going to slit his throat."

we never learned what "DOF" stood for did we. we do know it's Hyde now, though!

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Hello? Yes, I was just eating lunch. Again?  ...Fine. Tonight? All right. Bye now."

booty call from hyde? in the middle of the day? shameless

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Have you seen Shinjo anywhere? I just asked him to organize some documents and he ran off to make copies!"

Ritsu has a line referencing this one!

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Mickey's bar? Yes, I am going again tonight, but it's only because there's nowhere else to go for a drink."

isn't there a bar in the casino. . .i guess he doesn't wanna spend time on the casino floor. also "Mickey" is Rui Mizuki, if you weren't able to figure that out haha

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"This is when the regulars usually come, so I have to sweeten the pot. I saw that HNTW out there earlier too."

i hate you and your acronyms LMAOOOO I THINK THIS IS REFERRING TO KAITO??? MAYBE??? he's the only character besides Taiga who frequents the casino that we're aware of!

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"How dare those Frostheim slugs start whispering the moment they see my face... One day they'll be groveling at my feet..."

oof. . .the frostheimers are gossiping about the collapse of his family. . .yeah i'd be mad too there bud. i'd like to think he wanted to transfer to Frostheim once he became a second year and he ended up not doing it because Frostheim was just so toxic.

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"...Looks like I'm due for a tune up soon. Keeping my posture beautiful isn't easy, no matter how much I train my core."

i assume he sees like a chiropractor or a physical therapist or something. gets his atlas adjusted. maybe don't lean over your EITS laptops lol

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"You're smelling the bedtime fragrance I bought from Kurossa earlier. He has a good eye, so I often ask him to pick things out for me."

'Kurossa' is Leo Kurosagi and his lines also reference this! I'm glad they get along so well haha I think they mesh pretty great. also the fact that Romeo gives little nicknames to people is cute. . . .

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"You want to see my Insta? I suppose that's fine, but do you even know anything about brands?"

brand ambassador romeo. . .god he probably does all sorts of dumb beauty shit on his instagram. do you think he participates in those health pyramid schemes? probably not, right, he's fairly legitimate in his business practices. . .sort of, sometimes, kind of, as long as you don't owe him money. . . .

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Fuji's pendant? Of course I haven't given up on it. He has no idea of the value of what's hanging around his neck."

neither do we! please inform us!! but on the upside that means that Romeo knows what it is, to some degree. I assume it's some rare, powerful artifact. Kaito at least knows it's important.

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"I have to drink a cup of room-temperature water, do an electric facial and a mask, apply body cream, do my neck routine... I have no free time in the morning."

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Hey! There's a hair on the ground over here! And there's dust over here! Can't you even clean something properly without me holding your hand!?"

this is directed at his underlings, not the pc(or not the pc by themself.) I also appreciate that the Japanese specifies this is one single hair he's pointing out. Somebody get this man a roomba.

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I maintain my bullets myself. You really think I'd let another man handle my crown jewels?"

handle your WHAT-- i mean anyone could've guessed you and taiga don't have a very active sex life

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"What is going on with your skin!? Do you even have a proper routine in place? Unacceptable. Your overnight skin cell turnover is suboptimal and it shows."

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"That BTH...! I was almost impressed to see him out so early until I realized he's been playing all night!!"

taiga pulling an all-nighter at his own goddamn casino lmao. . . .

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"What do you mean you don't need any more noni juice? I went out of my way to prepare it for you. Come on now, drink it."

he personally made it for you! now drink the bitter nasty health juice. don't make him feed it to you. (The fact that he made you a health dink--went out of his way to make it for you--shows that he's really starting to like you and now he's treating you like a pet.)

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Finally, some goods worth talking about. I have to ring that DOF and arrange the next event..."

so Hyde is an active participant in these auctions huh. . .are the secret missions he gives Romeo based on selling and distributing artifacts and anomalies in secret. . .?

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Money, hard work, and patience... That's the cost of true beauty. Don't think it's something you can easily imitate."

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"How about a smoke before bed? I'm joking. If I wasn't selling it, I wouldn't be touching this unhealthy garbage."

quick someone shoop the "quieres" meme with romeo HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY TELL YOU WHAT HE'S HANDLING. . .considering his line of work it could be anything but regular cigarettes or cigars. Is it weed? is it crack?? is it meth???? i find that romeo is essentially the campus dealer hilarious.

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"What? I'm on my way to the gym for a workout. ...You can join me if you're interested."

you know damn well he probably hates getting sweaty. but he's gotta keep up with his health and all so a little workout's not off the table. also you know he's wearing some fuckin. gucci leggings or some shit.

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Why are you carrying that!? What if you drop it and it breaks? I'll get one of our young guys to do it, so put it down already!"

aw he's worried about--oh no he's just worrying about you dropping his stuff.

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I won't let anyone destroy what I've built— not even my OAOF."

GOD I HOPE THEY EXPLAIN THESE ACRONYMS SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE. I assume the first word is "Own". . .the last word could be "Family" or "Followers"/"Faction" or "Feelings". . . .

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Most of humanity's problems can be solved with money. If you put that another way, without money, you don't stand a chance. That's the way the world works."

again, Taiga compared Ritsu's family to Romeo's before The Incident. Romeo lost everything he had at one point. He's afraid of ending up with nothing again. That's all. Even with the Casino, he doesn't want to lose it because it'd be losing everything he has again. Having no money means going back to 0.

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Coming here alone this time of night, haven't you made progress? Come over here, I'll evaluate your efforts."

pc's getting brave enough to go to Sinostra in the middle of the night! probably did some shady job for him too. Also the face he makes while praising you for coming to Sinostra alone late at night is a little. . . .

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"What could you possibly be afraid of? You're one of my people! Walk with your head held high or I'll step on it!"

BBY YOU CAN STEP ON HER HEAD ANYWAY. PLEASE DO IT. 👀 also you have been opted out of being one of Taiga's people I guess. You have chosen your faction. /joke

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"This year's AW collection is out... Tch. Not even a hint of taste in any of it. They'll bear this mark of shame for years."

I KNOW THIS ACRONYM! He's complaining about Autumn-Winter fashion!!! lbr romeo men's fashion is kinda boring anyway. I wonder if his family owned a fashion brand. . . .

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I don't mind the springtime in Japan. The mild weather is a bonus, but it's the transient beauty of the cherry blossoms I truly appreciate."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The new prototype is a tear bomb? A lot of anomalies don't even have eyes, is this really going to be useful?"

i mean it might be useful for the ones that have eyes. . .or for hunting down Kaito.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Shut up! It's nearly time to settle the books so I'm completely run off my feet! I don't have time to deal with you, understand!?"

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Summer is all about aquamarine... If you believe that, you're a follower. A trendsetter would know to go against the grain with a heavier jade piece."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Excuse me!? You really think I would stoop to petty theft!? This scarf and hat are UV protection!"

LMAO HE LOOKED SO SHADY THE PC GOT WORRIED

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"This? It's an original hot water blend with salt and lemon I came up with. You shouldn't be cooling your insides just because it's hot outside!"

i mean. i guess it'll technically help you sweat and cool down faster????

(between 8pm and 5am)

"The heat's finally starting to ease off. I want to take a shower, but it's nearly our peak hour..."

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"They gave us nothing but useless bottom feeders this year... I'd like to see who raised this bunch of idiots. They don't even have a grasp of basic etiquette."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I'm going to the training grounds to demonstrate sharpshooting for the first- years. It's a waste of my time, but I'm the most skilled at it."

he just wants everyone to see how good he is lolol

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The SS collections are out. What? Are you telling me you don't pay attention to Paris Fashion Week?"

(between 8pm and 5am)

"The boss won't stop whining about being hungry. Obviously I'm not going to cook. What are you all standing around for, you damn TGAs!?"

lol Romeo has his underlings feed Taiga as much as Taiga demands food of his own underlings. "please feed your father the boss before he eats one of the chancellor's cats again."

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"You look like a fat slug in those clothes. Keeping warm is important, but couldn't you at least tough it out when you're meeting me!?"

HARSH. how about you get her outfits then!!! lolol he's looking at you all bundled up and doesn't even wanna be seen with you

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Everywhere is so dry, it's unbearable. I want to go back to my room and moisturize..."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"I get aches when it's cold... I'm taking off early tonight to go drink, then I'll warm up with a low bath."

'i'm gonna put alcohol in me which will make me feel warm but actually make me colder, then get in the bath for a while' lol

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Tch... This is the most profitable time of year for us, where the hell is that BTH!?

well you see Taiga hates the cold too so he's probably in a blanket burrito. . . .

His birthday: (November 14th)

"Today is Fico's birthday, so you're dining in style. I'm not going to eat any though, so you can finish it off."

'it's my birthday, so i'm going to treat you! what? me? eat?? no, i'm on a diet!!' i am once again asking the ghouls to EAT PROPER MEALS PLEASE IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY ROMEO HAVE ONE CHEAT DAY. DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO BE CAKE.

Your birthday:

"It's your birthday? I suppose I can celebrate it for you, but you'd better be aware of how much of my precious time you're using."

he treats you better on his birthday than yours. . . .

New Years: (January 1st)

"Felice anno nuovo! This will be the year I claim Fuji's debt and his pendant!"

oh my god he does speak italian. you hear more tidbits of italian fromTaiga than him. also Kaito's pendant must be super important if that's his new years resolution. this is gonna matter in the long run isn't it.

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Hmph. I'm not familiar with this packaging. If you're giving me chocolate, you better have selected it with the utmost care!"

'this is not brand name. how dare you.'

White Day: (March 13th)

"Here. They're mimosa cookies, a special order from an upmarket confectionary in Ginza. I can't say whether your peasant tastebuds can appreciate them though."

peasant? who are you, jin? fun fact, Taiga's White Day line references this one!

"What's that expectant look on your face? Lulu was harping on about mimosas or something before. That what you want?"

so Romeo gets the cookies whether or not he plans to give you some i guess lol

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Just you try and fool me—I'll tear those rags off you and throw you in a cage. So? What do you want?"

converting your friends into human trafficking victims is the latest new prank sweeping the internet!

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Do you have face paint in your pores!? Go wash it off before you end up with hyperpigmentation!!"

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Buon Natale! Go get ready—that reindeer's around again. This year I'm going to catch it for sure!!"

he's going to auction off one of santa's reindeer. . . .

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Tch... If you don't have any business for me, I'm leaving! You're wasting my precious time!"

(13 affinity and above)

"My drink is empty. Hey! I'm talking to you! Go bring me a refill!"

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Well, look what the cat dragged in. Do I have to teach you how to maintain an adult relationship? This is your last chance, got it!?"

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG THE ADHD KICKED IN AND I GOT SUPER DISTRACTED i love Romeo so much he's so. . .silly lmao. he's a very fun character. even though i hate his acronyms. But he's also so worried about his image and his money. . .and as much as he complains I think he worries about Taiga too. And as he comes to like you more he worries about you too. It's just that strictness and maintaining control is how he feels most comfortable and how he expresses his attachments. He trusts you. So he wants you to be able to hold you to a high standard.

[shrowded-eng1ma]

Some Hashira’s having a crush on a Nagito Komaeda like reader

Characters;Shinobu, Rengoku, Mitsuri

Warnings; Angst, Death, Suicidal Implications, Light Possessiveness

Shinobu:

She’s your therapist, your personal doctor.

When she first caught feelings, she actually thought it was just her worrying about your mental health.

When she found out it was a crush she’s shocked, why did she like you? Was it the unending praises you showered her with? Your good looks? Your quite raspy voice?

Overtime she fell harder and really tried to help you with your mental health issues, to say the least, it was worthless, your self-esteem and respect was practically nonexistent.

She also refuses to let you touch or help her in poison making, because Fucking Obviously.

Despite this you know a surprising amount of poison, which is concerning due to your M.H.

She does love when you talk about hope, and tried to use that as a catalyst to raise your self worth.

She is slightly annoyed at how you drool about tanjirou and how you love him for his hope (No pedo shit!) but she loves how passionate you sound.

She finds it interesting and unsettling how you call zenitsu useless and worthless, it’s her first time seeing you hate someone more than demons or yourself.

Every time someone insults you, and you agree with them she insults them harder, she’d go for anything their insecure about, that she somehow already knows about.

She’s very protective of you, despite your supernaturally good luck.

If you die she would be completely heartbroken and vengeful towards every demon, especially Douma and the one who killed you.

She would feel so pathetic that she couldn’t confess to you.

If she did confess you’d say something like “Ah, to be lied to by someone as you is such an honor for someone as worthless as me”

She tries to convince you that her feelings are real but you don’t believe her, always saying “Your so kind to tell me such a lie!” Or “Ah, I... I truly appreciate your affection towards me, but I must decline. You see, I'm just a lowly speck of misfortune in this grand tapestry of life. It would be unfair to burden you with my peculiarities and the chaos that seems to follow my every step”

She’s too persistent and stubborn though, she’s strong enough to take anything you say or do, but it’s futile.

When she dies for Douma you feel genuine sadness, you knew she cared for you too some degree “I’m sorry, someone as worthless as me should’ve taken her place” you’d say before moving on.

Her cherished memory of you is when she reveled to you that she’s extremely weak and can’t cut off a demons head and your response “Wow! Your so weak but you managed to find a way to kill demons despite your weakness in strength!! Your so smart Shinobu! I promise to become a stepping stone to the hope you can achieve!!” Okay she hated the last bit, but it’s the thought that counts.

Rengoku:

He is very worried for you.

You find yourself completely unworthy of his sheer presence, his overwhelming positivity and hope you just can’t compete.

When he finds out he has a crush on you, he doesn’t question it, he follows his heart and helps you out.

Every insult you say to yourself he’d object with a positive remark. “Someone like me shouldn’t have become a hashira” “You became a hashira even when you don’t have a breathing style! Your nothing short of admirable and amazing! You have every demon slayers respect!!”

He always invites you to group activities, and you decline every time. So he drags you to the events.

He’s pretty much around you 24/7

When he wakes up, he sends his crow to wake your ass up.

When he’s off on a mission he asks Kagyga to watch over you, and over course he accepts.

When you praise him, he praises you, then you either degrade yourself and Rengoku objects with positivity, or you try to praise him harder, it then turns into a ‘Praise Battle’

He loves it when you talk positively about tanjirou, not so much when you talk bad about Zenitsu.

When he dies from akaza, you say “I won’t let him die in despair. He’s death will simply be a catalyst for the ultimate hope!”

He keeps confessing to you, despite you rejecting him due to your self worth problems.

Mitsuri

She is extremely worried for you, why would someone say such things about themselves? Especially when you became a hashira in a month and while having no breathing style, shouldn’t you be proud?

Everytime She turns completely red when you shower her with praise, which also interest her in you even more.

She can’t really talk much until you praise her and she malfunctions.

She admires you and even agrees about you idolization of hope, which makes you like her even more.

She always invites you to hang out with her and Iguro or any Hashira activities, you deny everytime.

When she finds out about her crush on you she malfunctions for days, she likes Iguro AND you, how could she choose? Did she need to choose?

She ask’s Kagyga for help, and whoever your close with.

Now she pretty much begs you to hang out with her and Iguro. Overtime Iguro sees and different side of you and thinks your tolerable, but he’s still annoyed that it can’t be him and Mitsuri alone.

She isn’t going to confess anytime soon, she’s too shy and insecure about herself to do so.

-The End, sorry this was short-

[deadbydangit]

@vicketch I'm sorry you aren't feeling well, maybe this will help.

Cheering up a depressed Reader

Legion (Julie), Dwight, Kate

Legion (Julie)

Feeling down?

Not for long!

This girl has been there, done that.

When she first entered the realm, she had a period of depression.

But she pulled herself out of it.

And she's going to pull you out of that pit too.

First, she'll want to talk about it.

What's bothering you?

Is someone bothering you?

"If it is I'll go kick their ass right now."

She won't outright force you to talk, but she'll strongly encourage it.

Want some snacks?

She has lots of snacks.

Cookies were always her go to snack when she was upset.

Just no beer.

Or drugs

Julie knows better than anyone how drinking doesn't help solve the problem.

She and the other Legion have tried to drink and smoke their troubles away.

It does not work.

It makes things worse.

Wanna play a game?

Maybe do a make over?

Prank Frank?

Go for a walk?

Tell stories?

You sure you don't want to prank Frank.

"Trust me. It's really funny. I once replaced his knife with a rubber one and he came back from trials pissed."

And laughing is a good way to feel better.

Sitting around just makes things worse.

She's the type who wants to keep you focused on anything but your depression.

She'll even swallow her pride and tell you about her own experience with it and how she dealt with it.

"I was with the others, we all worked through it together. And you? I'll work through it with you. You won't suffer alone."

Dwight Fairfield

You don't even have to say anything, Dwight can tell.

He's great at reading emotions and detecting small changes in someone's personality.

So, when you don't seem like yourself, he knows.

He's been through depression before.

He knows how much it sucks.

But he won't outright say he knows you're depressed.

He'll lay beside you one day, and just start chatting with you.

"I've been where you are. I felt so useless, I thought everything was just pointless."

He'll pull your head into his lap.

"But then I realized, there are so many more reasons to be happy than there are to be sad. Even here."

And he'll list some.

"Sunshine, flowers, you..."

And he'll look down at you with tears in his eyes.

But he's still smiling.

He hates seeing you so upset.

But him frowning isn't going to make you feel better.

He's no therapist, but he'll listen and give the best advice he can.

Sometimes he'll do something silly or tell a really dumb joke.

But you're laughing and smiling.

He's also very good about keeping track of your health.

Did you drink enough water? Have you eaten? Was it healthy? Too much junk food can make you depressed.

It may seem overbearing, but he really wants you to get better.

You being so sad isn't on his list of things that make him happy.

Kate Denson

"What's got you all blue sugar?"

She'll make sure to ask in private.

She understands if you don't want your troubles going public.

She had enough of that in the real world.

Kate is also very good at sensing emotions.

This girl is almost always rainbows and sunshine.

So it's surprising that even she dealt with depression at a time

"I wasn't doing what I loved to make me happy. So my music wasn't happy. Then no one is happy."

If you want to talk about it, she's all ears.

If not, she's not going to force you.

Instead, she'll change the subject.

Something funny like a story or a joke.

"...And that's how I accidentally made Hannah Montana hate my guts."

And she'll laugh.

And her laughter will make you laugh.

She had written some music when she was in her depressive moments, and she'll offer to sing it to you.

Then she'll sing you her most upbeat happy ones.

It's to show you how strong she bounced back from her sadness.

"Come 'er Darlin'."

She's putting your fingers on her guitar and guiding you to a few strings.

It's her way of saying that you can get over it too.

"And I'll be right 'er with ya' the whole time."

[wantonlywindswept]

friend! anything new in your life? what's the last thing that made you smile?

hope you have a spectacular day 💙

hello darling!

my wife and i have recently been watching these ex-gymnast youtubers who commit shenanigans and they did a video where they tried women's gymnastics, including the balance beam, and. well. accidents happened that you might expect to happen involving a balance beam, but women do not have the same problem that men do if they land straddling something between their legs

very unfortunate for the guy's potential future children but i was weeping with laughter

as for other things, a lot of my life recently has been revolving around food, but not necessarily in a bad way?

cut for eating disorder things

so turns out i actually DO have an eating disorder, it's just not a useful one that makes people skinny (this is not how EDs work and is a terrible thing to say, i am saying it anyway because those were my initial Depression thoughts). mine's more to do with sensory issues and a lack of wanting to eat that just leads to nutritional problems instead.

earlier this year i had a couple months where i was eating one, maybe two meals a day, and that was kinda when i went 'yeah alright, this is a problem', but there was always that thought of 'okay but is it REALLY?' and it turns out that yes! yes it is

so I've started seeing a therapist that specializes in EDs and talking to a dietician on the regular, and it's actually been pretty good? like some of it has been a kind of validation of 'yes you do have problems with eating and it still matters even if you're overweight', and getting encouragement for eating better. (we are currently aiming for at least 2 meals and a snack. 3 meals is still. iffy. but i greatly appreciate taking small bitty steps instead of jumping right to that.)

and some of it too is focusing on the nutrition part, which mostly amounts to balance and adding more colors to your plate, which has led to multiple instances of me pointing at a fruit or vegetable i've gotten and defensively going 'look! it has color!' to my wife's amusement and agreement. it isn't dieting, but just adding more things (....i just realized how sneaky that is to get me to eat more in general. well played, doctor) that have nutritional benefit.

also my dietician went on a five-minute rant about how BMI is absolute horseshit and how she hates doctors who use it and tell people to do things based off of it (side note, my gastroenterologist basically said 'hey you're obese and you need to lose 20 lbs over the next three months' which hilariously skipped me straight over self-loathing right to 'wow that is unfeasible and absolutely not going to happen'), which then segued into how awful and useless diet culture is

so basically i would die for her

[punkisntdeadandneitherami]

Thought i'd share my experience with suicidal thoughts and self harm so here it goes. A lot of triggers probably so you may wanna step out.

When i was 10 years old, i was really stuck on school stuff. like, they put a lot of pressure on us, and i'm a real procrastinator. i waited till the last moment to do all that stuff, and honestly it's my fault. the thing is, i had to stay up till kinda late, wich i used to NEVER do. plus, on the next day we had to present that stuff to our parents, plus dance for everyone else's parents too, and play a song, and i have social anxiety. This got me so stressed for the longest time, bc it was like a huge thing and it was worth a lot of my grades. to top it all off, that annoying ex friend who kept pressuring us didnt even show up.

The next year, i started hating school for it. It felt useless, and i felt no motivation. The worst part was: that year, i made two friends, but they ended up pretty fake, one in specific. she thouht she was better than me, and made sure i knew it. She made fun of using medicine, was pretty ableist and was a complete narcissist. During that time, i started thinking i was autistic. i related way too much with stuff i read about it, but when i told her i thought that she went "haha aren't we all" and just kept on with her life. She didnt try to underestand me, and i think i felt a need to be validated by her. I started feeling the pressure of school, the dependence i felt towards my friends and my self hate, always being fed by both media i came across and my toxic relationship with my own feelings.

Soon, i started feeling extremely depressed, trying to figure out if i truly was autistic or if there was something wrong with me. To complement all that, i started finding out about my queerness, which was important, but it actually only made me feel more stressed.

I had to go with my parents on their business trip on October, and it felt great to escape for a while. The problem was that, by the time, i already felt incredibly depressed. I wasnt exited about anything, had no motivation, and to be honest the only thing that kept me from killing myself was the thought of how my friends would feel, specially one of my best friends, who nowadays i am proud to call my brother, was also suffering with his own mental health.

On that trip, i had many valuable conversations with my friends, them helping me go through this even with the distance, even if every time i saw a window i begged myself to jump. They helped me figure out my sexuality, which also gave me courage to both come out to my mom and come clean about my depressing thoughts.

After i came back home, i started having to wear an orthopedic vest or whatever, idk how to say that in english. Of course that didnt help much my situation, but at least i started going to therapy. I went back into school and saw my friends, including that one girl i mentioned earlier.

While that happened, i had some serious anger issues. I was pretty rude to her, while she was ableist to me. After I told her and my other friends I'm a lesbian, they all were supportive of me, except for her. It kept on for the whole year, until i finally changed schools together with a friend of mine.

I could see other friends on my new school, but the change was weird. The new school was farther from my house so i had to wake up earlier, but at least i got rid of seeing that girl. The thing is, i kept lying to my therapist, and felt like i couldnt tell anyone my thoughts and feelings. I started having kinda murderous thoughts about me killing my homophobic classmates and then myself. I continued procrastinating my arts project, and i thought i'd get a failing grade. Not long after, i started cutting myself. I liked the pain. Its like I had always felt. By the time, i found out a way of fooling the medicine, kind of stopping it from working. I thought I deserved to feel like this. I started planning on killing myself.

I had the perfect plan of every step i'd take. I'd take a cup of coffee on the middle of the night, wearing my favourite PJ's, steal a bunch of ginger biscuits from the kitchen and go to the little empty house on our yard. I'd grab a knife with me. I was going to send my goodbyes via whatsapp, eat all the biscuits and cut my palm with the knife, to use the blood to write on the walls. After that, i'd slit my throat. But i didnt do any of these. Because of my ex brother-in-law.

I started planning my goodbyes, sending myself the texts i'd send them that night, just so i could copy and paste. Then, i'd send their friends texts for them to comfort my friends. On that, i sent my ex brother-in-law a message asking him to comfort my brother the next day. I thought he wouldnt see it immediatly, but he did. He asked why, and i answered i was going to kill myself. He started lecturing me, and i admit that his speech wasnt what kept me alive, but the fact it lasted 10 minutes and made me forget to drink the coffee to keep me up.

I slept tightly that night, the night i had been planning to be my last.

After that hell of a night, i started using my medicine correctly, which helped a lot on my recovery. Today, a fuck ton of time later, I'm telling you about it, because a few days ago i cut myself again. I dont want anyone to go through that, to think their feelings arent valid because there are people who suffer more, who think life is nothing but the limited time of working of the brain and the heart.

Life means, you get to change. Life means, you get to thrive. Life literally means whatever the fuck you want it to mean. So live. It's your only chance.

[astrowaffles]

toji to me is a very downtrodden character and thats the base of like aaalll my analysis of him. i think its a good idea to keep in mind that they're all living in a Secret Society with like negative morals and seemingly a core principle of might makes right. its not Just a lack of therapists, here, right, its an actively hostile environment. and then you have the zen'in upbringing which kicks that up a notch. i dont think toji is actually all that convinced of his power, bc he grew up being told he was worthless without cursed energy. he Never gets revenge on the zen'ins. why? his trauma response to this (get OUTTTTT) is different than maki's (spite them & eventually overcome them-- for approval ? hm.). shes intimidated by them sure but shes got that rebel spirit! girlboss. anyway back to the point bc i have one -> toji never escaped the zen'ins. he Wants to affirm that he's strong without cursed energy despite all the evidence that he actually is (and look how that final attempt went!). id like to propose a theory: he didnt think he could hide a child with The Zen'in Power Of All Time from the zen'ins. i dont think he could either tbh. ok actually are you caught up on the manga 🤨

Hello again! I really love this view of Toji's character, and it will surprise you to learn that I agree with you. I actually do. When I've been replying to your asks before, I've been talking from the perspective of his parenting decisions. But you're right, to take this any further we need to look at his actual personality/character.

Reasons to be sympathetic to Toji (a.k.a extend him the poor little meow meow factor):

abusive ex-family

no support

no therapy

dead wife

poor

gambling addiction

Toji was abused and was brought up in an environment where he literally meant nothing. He was useless. His reaction to this (get out, cut all ties, get stronger) is a response I'm actually proud of him for. So many people are probably still rolling around inside the Zen'in clan, having never got the balls to get out. Toji even chooses to change his name.

Being a cycle breaker is hard. For many people, it's impossible. For Toji - it was impossible. I extend sympathy and empathy to him here because it's DIFFICULT to let go of your upbringing and do it differently, do better. Toji can't bring him self to leave the jujutsu world. Nanami did it, and could have left forever if he so chose - but Toji can't. He's not a sorcerer but he can't let go of that being part of him, he can't stop his Zeni'in upbringing from shaping him. Neither can Maki, but Maki chooses to actively confront the clan and make physical changes to her life.

Toji just drowns in his spite - again, another thing we can hand him a poor little meow meow card for. He doesn't have the tools to heal or make better decisions. We feel bad for him. We sympathise. We want to still see him as a basically good person (and, to be honest, he probably is) who's just been scarred by the world.

So, to go back to what you said: you're right. He doesn't escape the Zeni'ns and I'm not convinced he wants to. He wants to show them he's better but he also can't bring himself to directly call attention to himself.

So let's bring this full circle and talk about what the original post was about: Toji's parenting. You said you still don't think he's a good parent. You're right, he isn't. He never will be. No Toji stan will ever be able to convince me that any of Toji's parenting choices were the right ones. But let's be sympathetic again, let's see how we can cut him some slack for those terrible decisions.

Does Toji even know how to be a parent?

We don't know a whole lot about Toji's parents. We know he hates them, if he ever truly knew them. We can infer he doesn't want to be like them. We're sure he never actively abuses Megumi, only passively, through abandonment. Perhaps he feels this is better than getting directly involved with a small child. He's described by the wiki as a cold person, specifically since his wife died and he 'reverted to his old self'. It's highly possible that Toji chose to abandon Megumi since he thought it was genuinely the best possible path. Toji can be cold, violent, and calculating, and he maybe felt he was in no position to be doing any parenting. We can sympathise with this!

(But he's still a bad father).

Did Toji sell Megumi to the Zen'ins so the kid could train to be a sorcerer?

It's definitely possible. I think this is what @honestlyyoungtyphoon was trying to tell me. Toji can't help a sorcerer kid, but he knows that Megumi needs training and he knows the Zen'ins would love to give it. And, yeah, maybe he's had this plan ever since he realised Megumi's technique, because he knew the Zen'ins would find out somehow.

Reasons this is still a bad parenting decision: the Zen'ins, while they treat their sorcerers well materially and are much kinder to them than they are to non-sorcerers, are still power hungry little bitches. Everyone knows this. While Toji would have no way to create a better plan, he knew himself it was bad. You ever wonder why Gojo went to see Megumi straight away? Because was Gojo was raised how the Zen'ins would treat Megumi. Gojo was living the life that Megumi would live in the future. And Gojo knew that it wasn't a life fit for anyone.

Toji knows that Gojos knows this. Toji knows Gojo could help Megumi. Toji passed the baton. And honestly, this is probably a reveal of part of Toji's true personality. He willingly sent a guy, his own personal enemy, to Megumi because he knew it was good for Megumi. Toji has a lot of pride and it must have taken a lot to ask that. THIS is probably what the aggressive Toji stans mean when they tell me Toji was a good parent.

So, overall: Toji is a damaged person who never received any kind of help and support from anyone except his (now dead) wife. There are many factors that help shape his decisions and parenting choices. Toji is probably a basically good person who is simply hurt by his circumstances, and even his truly awful decisions such as abandoning Megumi could have their roots in a belief that it was truly for the best. However: a good person does not make a good parent.

Toji was a shit dad and we love him <3

[pandorafallz]

Overseer AU | Cracked refections

“<Ugh…. I hate this.>”

Not the last of her many complaints that Grace had in the last six hours since she had woken up from this…coma. Didn’t feel like a coma and…well she assumed it wasn’t; it took far longer to wake up and she had far better cognition than anticipated. Two of those hours had been a well-earned nap after a small puddle of food that…Grace had very little interest in eating but she had forced herself through it; Greene had been clear to get her strength back she needed energy and thus, food. More strength, less need of a random nurse or helpers.

Grace didn’t want help. She knew she needed it given she couldn’t properly walk past a few steps holding something but…she wanted this bit over and done with. She felt so…old to have a woman or someone help her with everything. From the bathroom, and a wash to even getting in and out of her new wheelchair. She hated it with a severe passion.

She wasn’t stupid to know why her body was so weak.

The mirror ahead of her only seemed to verify how crap she truly was physically and it made her skin crawl a little how…it felt like this morning was the last time she had seen herself so filled out and healthy as opposed to this.

Her facial bones were never more pronounced than now. Her jawline looked sharp, even her cheekbones protruded a little against the pale, white skin. Her hair hung down limply down just at her breasts now than at her neck, her hospital gown was…baggy. She dreaded to see what she looked like underneath given how thinned out her arms and legs were. She has certainly dropped a few sizes.

Dr Greene had said she had been given good physical care in the last two years, somehow Parker was generous to shell out on an actual care plan for her so she was better than expected. Daily joint PT exercises to prevent her joints from locking up or deteriorating with disuse, muscle stimulants in both drug and electrical pads to slow down muscle tone loss, decay and atrophy; similar to the types used for the avatars so the bodies weren’t useless after birth and gel padding to prevent bedsores.

Still, with all that care, she still lost a lot of weight and could barely walk. Her nice layer of body fat was gone so her wheelchair was uncomfortable to sit in, no matter how many cushions they got on…and she was cold now. All the time.

“<I want…to link up with my avatar now.>” Grace grumbled, begrudgingly pulling the blankets around her tighter now. Her throat felt better for sure but talking was still a bitch. Still, some painkillers she had been given helped relieve some of the discomfort.

“<Not yet. You’ll need to start basic exercises first which will be physically taxing. Your body can rest in the link after that.>” Dr Greene spoke, not looking up from the datapad she was reading from. “<You’ll get three hours of link time at a single time until you’re stronger>”

“<Define stronger?>”

“<Able to get yourself out of the link bed without help>”

Grace gave her a look but… well she had asked for that. “<Ugh>” Her expression only worsened as the Physical therapist made her way into her room like the angel of dread with a toolkit of torture.

“<Ten minutes>”

Ten minutes of fucking hell.

-

Grace was proven correct in such a statement. After another snack, she was relieved to be cleared for the link bed and finallywheeled away, feeling like she had been beaten to an inch of her life. Her gown was changed to loose joggers and a shirt long-sleeve.

“Grace!”

Her head turned to see Max Patel look like a happy puppy, though the flex of grey in his hair wasn’t unmissed as he hurried towards them. “Dr Greene…” his words began a blur of sounds.

“<He says he’s happy to see you’re up and looking alive>” Greene translated. “<He also says that your link bed is prepped and the new avatar drivers are in the new longhouse going over some new hobbies that all drivers need before any venturing out into the forests.>”

Max continued to speak.

“<He’s also put together a report for you to read on what’s happened since you’ve been…out of action.>”

“<Okay. I’ll give it a read. Thank fucking god I can still read English>” It wasn’t easy, her eyes hurt after a while and she got a headache but again, that was probably something she had to deal with. Eywa only knew what happened to her brain when she was otherwise a vegetable. “<Link time, now?” She urged.

“<Alright.>”

Grace returned Max’s smile though he led them towards the third link bed and parked her up next to it. With her tired muscles, she pushed herself up, Greene and Max’s hands at her side, making her bite her lip from snapping but Max only helped as far as getting her seated and moved back before Grace wiggled into the spot, the gel around her nice and warm.

“<You put the warmer setting on?>”

“<Yep. You’ll need it>”

Grace snorted once, tugging down the first frame before Greene shut the top one.

-

Grace fumbled as she shoved on her new change of clothes onto her too-small avatar.  The only upside being was that the new set of avatar clothes seemed to have been remade and expanded upon since this morning. Short and a blue crop-top laid out though Grace opted to forgo shoes entirely out of spite. Again, her smaller statue meant she couldn’t fit into standard female avatar shoes and…. she had other things to do than waste her hours of freedom here getting her foot measured then to simply grow out of them in a few months’ time.

Dr Greene was talking to Dr Curfman when she finally emerged from the long house although the latter twiddled a basketball in her hands looking very chipper.

“<Dr Augustine, I’m happy to see you up. How has everything been?>” Curfman spoke.

“<Shit, confusing and I’m behind on everything>” Grace answered unhappily, “<What’s the plan? A full debrief?>”

“<We’re going to the new long house for that.>” Curfman spoke, though happily led the way from the steps,

Although, it wasn’t far as Grace could see. Smaller than the Longhouse devoted to offline avatars but it was far more open with a huge table where there where five avatars were seated. On top of the table, upon closer inspection, was filled with piles of small twine, woven fabrics, half-made straps and so many variants of beads of different shapes and colours. There was also booklets also dotted about.

“<What’s this? A craft fair?>” Grace turned her attention back to Curfman.

“<No.>” The woman smiled softly but gestured to a seat. “<It’s… complicated but a required skill for the avatars to learn before they set out into the jungle.>”

“<Why?>” Grace looked down to see two of the avatars. Dr Daniel Choi talked to Dr Madaki about what sounded like the behavioural studies of Helicoradian and Woodsprites and where the differences between plants and animals were as they put together items made of beads. She didn’t interrupt the two’s discussion.

Greene took a seat at the table, though saved off Curfman from speaking with a far more serious expression. “<After that…happened at the school, the Omatikaya became more…hostile to the RDA and Avatars. Eytukan spoke to me direct that….they would kill any lost avatar or human they came across.>”

Grace looked to the doctor in alarm. “<Kill?>”

“<Yes. So…we figured that…if we made similar clothes and carried them, if lost we can change and do our best to pass as a wandering Na’vi.>” Greene winced as she spoke, “<Not all clans know much about Avatars so… if there’s a chance to pass and survive. We will take it. But… you will need to make them yourself as well; a learnt skill can help retain the image and…to flesh out a backstory.>”

There were a lot of holes in that, and the distinct, brightly coloured sign of cultural appropriation tied in as well. But… logically, it was sound for trying to live low in the unknown territory to survive. Given what…happened to her, the risks were real. She couldn’t fault their desire not to wind up like her. It sucked.

“<Start with the loincloth then your chest coverings.>” Curfman encouraged, looking to be busy with the latter than the former of her suggestions. “<The booklet has some ideas you can draw from but we can’t copy everything>”

Grace hummed, acknowledging her suggestion. “<You have a backstory?>” She slid into a seat, reaching for the purple fabric which…felt nice then reached for the knife to start cutting it.

“<Yes, We’ve come to the collective agreement that we come from a clan called The Tsumongwi Clan. Nomadic in nature. Specialising in exploration than hunting but lost a huge number due to the Sky people's attack that led to the scattering of the clan. If anyone asks about the avatar’s difference, we can claim interbreed with ‘Dreamwalkers’ and Na’vi. It’d give reason for us knowing English and sky people technology.>” Greene spoke.

Grace considered the story for a moment though couldn’t deny that…it had definitely plausibility but…it would only work for those, not of Omatikaya. They knew too much but…she could see that working for other clans. Especially if the clans were already uncertain about avatars.

“<You have a Na’vi name?>,” Grace asked curiously. “<Mine is Kìreysì.>”

“<Yes, Kìmi Te Rìkean Petani'ite.>

“<You talking Na’vi names?>” the head of the new avatar turned, “<Sounds interesting>”

“<Who are you?” Grace frowned at the new guy, trying to recall when they were getting new people…. It still felt years away from what anyone was due.

“<Oh, I’m Norm Spellman.>”

“<Norm, I’ve heard good things about you.>” The name was oddly refreshing in her memory. She had read his file about his accomplishments probably a day ago-no, a day before the shooting. . “<You speak well but you’re…very formal.”

The avatar’s ears flicked a little but his face was still bright, even as he rumbled with his beads, “<There is…a lot to learn, even if I have studied for five years.”

“<Indeed.>”

The man who looked in a worse state with the beads and string spoke next though Grace’s eyes slid to Norm to translate.

“<I can’t understand English. I thought Tom Sully was fluent in Na’vi as well?>”

Sully looked at her sharply, ears flattening back at hearing his name being pulled into the conversation..

“<Er…Sorry, this is Jake Sully. Tom Sully died a week before he was meant to leave.>” Norm spoke, sparing a nervous look to his fellow driver. “<As a twin, Jake’s able to link with Tom’s avatar.>”

Grace’s eyes narrowed to the man in question. Jake. Not Tom. Explained…well everything. His lack of langue to…even craft skills. If this kid got lost then he was certainly going to die.

“<Get him started learning Na’vi and….some basic Pandora understanding. His ignorant will…piss me off.>” She dismissed Sully to get back to the cloth. She could only assume that this all was Quaritch’s idea; roping some random, untrained guy into her group for…whatever nonsense he had cooked up against the Na’vi. She couldn’t give much of a damn right now with…her other fucking priorities.

-

Kim watched as Grace worked her way through with both speed and skill to fashion together a formidable purple loincloth that…looked good. Now she was well done with her chest pieces She had no idea what Grace even had the skill to do so without looking at the sheets they had.

Madaki eventually left after an hour to unlink and Choi looked to be weaving together what looked to be a few neckpieces.

“<You’ll need to get haircuts.>” Grace announced after a moment.

Kim looked up from the bracelet she had been crafting. “<Haircuts?>”

“<The hair is a dead giveaway to the Na’vi that we’re different. Omatikaya will know instantly. You’ll need to remove excess hair from the tswin and rebraid it. Shave the sides or entirely rebraid from your face but it’s important. Avatar have a very distinct look like this.>” She tugged on the back of her hair that was still part of the braid.

“<We can work on that tomorrow when you’re linked up.>” Kim spoke because…she really didn’t want to get into that debate right now and get stuck in when Grace didn’t have the time for that.

“<Also, songcords. Every Na’vi has one.>” Grace’s tone got a little grouchier, as she finished up the last touches to her chest covering and pressed it to her chest to make sure everything was covered correctly.

Kim knew a little about song cords but hadn’t invested in it. It was…such a small thing to think about.

“<Songcords?>,” Norm asked this time. “<They’re…important, aren’t they?”

“<It’s… one of the most personal and important artefacts of a Na’vi person. If it’s missing, then that’ll strike a Na’vi as off.>” Grace started reaching for the smallest of twine and gestured for the beads. “<Na’vi don’t have a written langue so it’s all oral. Songs and stories. Songcords tell elements of a person’s life; the important part or events that the induvial wants to mark. A birth, a death, a celebration… it can be of anything of personal value. Marked by beads. Verses are by the knots down to the next. Mother offers thanks for Eywa in the verses for their children.>”

Grace leant forwards and picked out five first. A grey round bead that looked like Polyphemus. A blue triangular bead with a streak of red. A cyan, off-round bead with flecks of orange. A brown and Amber Square. Then a black one.

Kim eyed the last one with a growing hunch as to what it would mean 

 “<Shouldn’t…it be something we need to think about if it’s…so important?>” Norm asked, surprised as she laid the bead out in order.

“<I did. My arrival, my first avatar, the people, my school, my first death>” Grace pointed to them out with a strong tone of confidence. Kim sighed softly but… she could see the meaning and the poetics based upon the colors alonebehind this. Celebration, life and death. Something that…was meaningful to Grace. 

Kim wondered what she could put. So many beads…so many options.

Grace reached into another put, pulling out two purple amethyst, elongated beads, a smaller black bead and one small, white off-triangle bead with flecks of blue and purple that seemed to be the last to put on. Nine beads.

She must have put thought into this a long time prior to her avatar’s death to be so…decisive.

“<We’ll get people kitted out with their own cords, Dr Augustine.>” Joyce Curfman assured.

“<Good. Make it mean something>” Grace insisted, “<now, someone start filling me in on what’s been going on for the last two years. Any contact between us and the Na’vi and what to expect. I want to start getting out as soon as I’m…able.”

-

Eytukan watched, feeling somewhat helpless as Neytiri tried another round of needle and breath techniques to draw out any negative air from Mo’at’s body to revive her but… nothing was working.

Mo’at lay pale and motionless on her mat while breathing easily; there was no other response. No sound or even his touch would rouse her from this unnatural sleep. He knew Neytiri would need support but even he could see this was more than just a physical ailment. Mo’at herself would know how to treat such a condition if it was spiritual as well.

“<Should we risk taking her back to the tree? Reconnect her with Eywa?>” Eytukan spoke, interrupting the silence.

“<Is that not what caused this?>” Tsu’tey spoke carefully, standing back for Neytiri to be unhindered but keeping too many from getting closer.

The concern the people had over the Tsahìk was not missed; they needed her and some had been injured since last night but most superficial and tended to but some would eventually require Mo’at’s more skilled hands to tend to. But now was no time for all hands to care when they knew little of what had transpired.

The connection between Tsahìk and Eywa was a close one and… one that Neytiri was yet to complete. Eytkan worried Neytiri did not know how to treat this and so…he had to make a decision.

“It is possible but… we do not know enough. A cure could be worth the risk but… I cannot be sure.” Neytiri spoke, her hands coming to turn her mother’s body onto her side. Eytukan dropped down to assist. “I…I need a Tsahìk’s hands to guide me.”

Eytukan’s fingers stroked down his’s make warm cheek, assured only by her soft breath.

“Tsu’tey, take your Ikran with a few warriors and go to the Tipani Clan and ask if they have a remedy for this condition that they can pass on to you.” He did not want to rob another clan of their Tsahìk. “If not, then go straight to the Tawkami Clan. They are our closest clans that may be of willing assistance.”

“<Of course, Olo'eyktan. It will take a few days to cover such distances quickly.>”

Eytkan nodded. The Ikran would do their best but they would need time to recover from the trips for their personal needs. Pa’li were more enduring but would take longer in transit and he did not want Mo’at’s health to hang in the balance and waste in such a time.

With a call for his warriors, Tsu’tey left before Eytukan turned his focus back to Mo’at. Gently shifting Mo’at to her back and upright, as Neytiri lifted a ceramic cup in one hand and gently tilted her head back to a light angle that could not trigger Mo’at to choke on the fluid. He gently wiped her mouth though Neytiri set the ceramic cup down shakily.

“<I’m sorry, Father. I…I wish I knew more.>”

“<You are still a tsakarem. There is much to be learned and this will serve as a lesson. I have faith in Eywa and the other Tsahìk’s that they will know how to cure this condition>” Eytukan spoke. “<We must be prepared to move her if they cannot pass on a cure to Tsu’tey. I will need to go with her so you and Tsu’tey must stay in our absence.”

He may be Olo'eyktan but he had lost one of his daughters; he would not lose his mate to this and certainly not alone if the Great Mother was insistent on claiming her. Whatever this was. He would be there as her mate. Tsu’tey was still learning but he had faith in Tsu’tey that he would be well for taking up his position for a small part of a few days.

------

lol, Grace's Na'vi name still isn't fully decided, even for those who have taken part in the polls i made to narrow the options down.

I removed 'Kiri' as an option and stuck to the K's on a first-name basis. Let me know which of these three you like!

[alligatorjesie]

So this dumb cunt is back at her bullshit

You had to use a meme maker to make this shit @watchingtheearthrise?

You're such a useless uncreative hack you can't even edit a image in fucking paint?

Also you don't have to watermark your shitty meme I don't think anyone is stealing this one from you any time soon.

That's fine I can make dumb spongebob memes too

There.

Took me 5 seconds in photoshop.

You know I've been in this fandom a real long time and I don't think a single fucking one of us thinks that Ben was using jedi mind tricks on Rey during the interrogation scene in The Force Awakens.

I've heard the ol' 'Oh my god he's mind raping her' plenty of times but this is a new one.

Where are you even pulling this shit out of your asshole? I swear to fucking god you antis think of the most stupid random fucking shit to get mad at this fandom over.

Hey, really quick @watchingtheearthrise, could you tell me again who won the mind probe battle at the end of that scene?

Because it wasn't Kylo.

Anyways, fix your fucking tags and get the fuck out of this fandom. Why the fuck are you in this fandom's space every few weeks being the most massive pile of shit? Why the fuck are you this fucking obsessed with reylo? Do you secretly love reylo but feel shame for enjoying it? If that's the case you need to talk to a fucking therapist about that shit man don't make it our fucking problem.

No one invited you here. In fact we would really like it if you fucking left and never came back.

But you'll never do that because you stupid fucking antis never fucking change. You'll die a bitter heartless cunt rather than just let some harmless people enjoy some fictional media that doesn't affect you at all.

Get a fucking hobby.

You know what? What if you took all that extra time you spend being a useless dickweed to the people in this fandom and instead used it learning how to use a photo editor?

Fuckit man.

I'm tired of this person doing this shit.

Reylos, I don't ask this very often but if you're an active member of this fandom and you're tired of seeing anti hate from this user who has been doing this shit since 2022 then go to this user's account and report them.

watchingtheearthrise.tumblr.com

You can report them for harassment and report that they're harassing someone else for it to be done quickly but if you want to be more thorough here are a few extra links of them harassing this fandom that you can add to your harassment report:

https://www.tumblr.com/watchingtheearthrise/722113038322450432/if-you-compare-people-who-you-know-nothing-about

https://www.tumblr.com/watchingtheearthrise/707659082725752832/arwingyoshi-reylos-really-think-that-theyre

[lightspren]

readmore here bc uh. tw future parent death

ALSO on top of last post, discovered my uncle (dad’s brother) is moving back locally within the week

this is going to be Not Good

bc he and my dad will be seeing even more of each other and managing to further radicalize each other

for instance, my dad already believes masks are useless and has publicly processed he does not intend to get more covid vaccines. he is also almost 68 years old and has been hospitalized twice since the beginning of the year for his heart, that i remember anyway there may be more. so like. he catches covid he is very unlikely to survive. which is a fact i can’t get out of my head.

like. the man sucks. objectively he is a dick. there is SO MUCH of my trauma directly attributable to him and the way i grew up. It took me *literal years* to not burst into tears when a man was angry around me. On bad days I still get twitchy around angry people, even people I trust more than anything. And that’s just his effects on me personally, never mind the rampant, raging conservatism and all the horrible things I know he’s said to my sister because of her political beliefs.

so i’m like. preemptively grieving a man that I kind of hate? And still love? I feel like a bad person for not being more like Sad Upset about these thoughts but honest to god I’m so angry still. I will never not be angry. My siblings have tried to forgive him, my brother I think has completely forgiven him. My sister’s thoughts are more complicated but she’s much more open to Trying. I am not. maybe it’s all still just too close for me (she’s 15 yrs older than me) but. Fuck him.

Like I know, complicated feelings about shitty parents is the like oldest story ever. but god. GOD.I don’t have the mental bandwidth to be dealing with my father’s likely imminent passing on top of everything else.

yes I should find a therapist to talk about this shit to instead of word vomit on tumblr on my lunch break lmao but what the fuck can they tell me that’s useful. I know it all. “it’s ok to be conflicted” and “you don’t have to forgive him” and blah blah blah. I know. it doesn’t help.

so yeah. here we are. not able to fully get out of my head that he will die, potentially soon, and i will feel guilty because I won’t be that terribly sad about it. wahoo.

[team-titts]

Vent 🌬️

TW for the girlies: sh, ed, sewerslidal thoughts 🤞

God i hate myself. i was sick since last thursday, rendering me basically useless because all i manage to do when i’m sick is fall asleep. i didn’t even have anything worth fussing over. it was literally just a chest cold. no fever, nothing. i hate myself for being so dramatic and i hate myself for hating myself. i hate the way i look, act, feel, move, talk, cry, dance, sing. i can’t seem to find anything good about myself and i don’t think anyone else can either. i feel like people are starting to give up on me (for good reasons) and i don’t know how to ask them not to leave without sounding too needy. and then i missed school on both friday AND today. i wasn’t even super sick today. i just kinda had a gross cough and my mom said i could stay home so i did and now i feel lazy and stupid and useless and i hate myself. THEN i missed dance, which i also missed on saturday, mind you, and that in of itself is a big deal. you can miss so much when you miss even just one class. then i checked the group chat for dance and they sent videos of the combos that they did and i want to cry. they look so happy and im so jealous how do i deal with this. plus i probably missed the choreography for the actual fucking dance. then i have to take into account the fact that i didn’t exercise nearly enough today and i’m so last and fat. god, i already have a hard time taking a day off, but today was just so much worse. i felt so stupid and stuck up and useless. and to top it all off, i still feel like shit. i wanna cut so bad but i’m too lazy to even get the stuff out. it’s literally all right here next to me. my towel, my blade, i even found that old piece of glass i was using back in june. but i’m too tired and lazy to get off my ass and do something for once in my stupid fucking life. i want to kill myself. and this time, it’s purely selfish motives. this time, it’s because i’m so tired of fucking things up and i think it’s time for me to just accept that i’m never gonna amount to anything good. writing this is so pathetic. who am i gonna talk to? my mom?? nonono, i don’t want her to worry. my therapist?? nah, i don’t want her to tell my mom i’m hurting myself. my friends?? nope, they’ll get worried too. plus i can’t risk burdening them with this. they already have their own shit to shovel. anyways i’m done. i gotta go do duolingo 👉👉

[sebastiansluts]

Happy new year rosee (ik it’s v late but better late than never) anyway what’s up? Who anon jerk dare come and bring any negativity to my precious rose? Imma throw hands 🤺🤺🤺

I miss you haven’t been able to send you any messages since I’m at my grandma house and I’m restraining myself from reading any smut so I won’t be horny but I’m dying to read new fics from you gosh I wish I’m back at my dorm reading your amazing writings also might thinking I would dye my hair blonde balayage this January for the new year new me bullshit (not rlly I just wanna be Sebastian Stan’ type 😭😭😭) but I miss dyeing my hair so yeah and also been thinking mafia Nick idk why but I imagine him keeping me as a pet and maybe he’ll fuck other girls but kept me watching and he’ll be so mean abt it but I’m his one and only pet so when the girl he’s fucking started talk shit abt me behind my back he’s like “you ain’t special she is, no one talk shit abt my pet” and then kill her and then just fucks me and when he finally breeds me he just won’t stop being around me and finally just fucks me and only me cause I’m the only one that gets it…

But also I’m craving Daddy Lee who’ll take care of me and again humiliates me in a different way like he fucks me dumb that I said “da…da” instead of daddy accidentally and he’s like “aw you can’t even say daddy fucking pathetic you dumb baby look at you babbling like a pathetic braindead fucktoy baby c’mon say it back im a pathetic braindead fucktoy baby yeah you are fucking useless shit I’m gonna wreck you so bad” cause oh my god that fucking belly is all I want I need a big boy and as always je suis excitée (idk french unless it’s that and voulez vous coucher avec moi)

So yeah my mind is fucked up but it izzz what it izzz. Ps. I used to hate when the ml have other girl but I crave to be humiliated now I don’t mind lol as long as he’s mine is that fucked up? I think that’s fucked up I need to go to a therapy

~sincerely your beluga

Happy New Year hon!!! I hope you had a good one <3 Thank you for defending me, I love you. I've missed you too! I hope you're having a good time even though you're not reading any smut- I'll try to have some more for you to read soon! Haha I say go for it, do the hair change if you've been missing it! I need to redye mine soon, maybe I'll do a dark purple or something! But yeah I feel you on wanting to be Seb's type!!

Mmm mafia!nick is a great one, and I love the humiliation plus protectiveness, it's like, no, only he gets to be a dick to you, no one else. And the giving in at the end to only fucking you, because really, why would he need anyone else when you're willing to do everything and anything?

But ooo daddy lee is so good too because yes he could humiliate so much like that, he'd say how he's so much smarter, he knows what's best for you, and just keeps fucking you until you're flying....

Hahaha love that little bit of french, it's all I know too lol. And so what, your mind is fucked up, my mind is fucked up, we're all fucked up! And I mean, we should all probably see therapists, but that's a whole other issue lol

[thatnarcissisticfeel]

hi, thanks for answering, i appreciate it. also that you didn’t just call me toxic or some shit and tell me to fuck off. i’ve actually never thought of joining a discord server but it’s a good idea, thank you, i think i could try that. i guess on another account though to prevent anyone from accidentally finding out bc you know for yourself how it is. i’ll look up if i can find some kind of dbt workbooks online as well.

the journaling idea is good as well, i’ve actually been trying for a while but i end up rarely using it as a past experience left me with kinda bad trust issues about writing / drawing things down where someone could see them. but i guess i could try hiding it better this time or something. it’s just this thing that also sometimes venting like that actually ends up making me even more frustrated, as i realize i’ve already written about this exact thing countless times before yet still nothing has changed.

i’m trying not to make a too harsh judgement of my therapist yet, considering i haven’t been seeing her for that long, but… yeah. when i said that i’ve been going to therapy for years i meant going to a lot of different ones in this time. no one ever gets me. their advice is always so fucking useless. honestly at least this current one actually listens and doesnt make me feel uncomfortable or like i’m being judged. i think she’s the one i’ve been the most honest with because of that (and also because i just started telling her everything from the first session on already bc i’m tired of everyone always turning out to be nothing but a waste of time and money and effort), i generally lie to therapists esp my psychiatrist so i can get the meds i want (or else im 100% she’d just put me on some shit like antipsychotics, which ive been on in the past and i’d honestly rather kill myself than take them again, idk if you’ve tried them before but i basically felt r*tarded [idk how some ppl are sensitive of slur use like i personally dont care but i dont want your blog banned or smth] and tired all the time and it “”””helped”””” in the way that it made me too slow to be able to think about my problems. thanks psychiatry. not a traumatizing experience at all). i mentioned that i suspect i could have a personality disorder to her once or twice and she seemed to agree that it could be a possibility, but obviously no one can diagnose that fast. but i guess i’ll see. i really just want to know whats wrong with me, why do i think the way i do, why i can’t just be more fucking normal no matter how hard i try. but getting an actual diagnosis of a PD esp if it turned out to be this one would just mean i’d get treated even worse by every single doctor, not even necessarily a mental health one, bc physical doctors see all your records as well,, i’ve already been told my legitimate physical issues are just bc im depressed, or even if they dont straight up tell me they definitely treat me less seriously and i just know its bc i have mental illnesses diagnoses & im female.

i just … ugh. i feel so sick of it all and misunderstood. i know i can get genuinely abusive in arguments when someone upsets me but i really dont know how to stop or control myself. i hate that people act as if it’s all my fault. like everything i’ve gone through doesn’t even matter and i’m just an inherently evil person. like i didn’t have some kind of a terribly traumatic childhood, but i’ve always been either bullied or excluded by almost everyone i’ve ever met and all the social isolation honestly really fucked me up. i think that’s why i developed such a strong individuality complex as i’ve never been able to think all of it must be simply because i’m worthless. like fuck no, 99% of the people are dumb and shallow and ignorant towards reality of the world and i’m supposed to feel like i’m somehow worse than them? at least i have self awareness and my own thoughts. i mean i do think we’re all worthless because nothing in life has any value, so why should humanity be the exception? that still doesn’t stop me from hating everyone though. i may be a hypocrite but so is everyone else; and at least i don’t pretend to be a gOoD pErSoN. lacking empathy and not having morals doesn’t make me any less deserving of help even though i know how many people unironically believe people like me should just be shot. fucking brainless hypocrites, all of them.

but anyway yeah my point here is, fuck people who think anyone chooses to be this way. all of this has done nothing good for me other than made my life much harder. and not to mention unable to ever get genuinely close to anyone because what is the worth in a relationship if i can’t even bring myself to care about anyone? i don’t think “empaths” even realize how alienating it actually is. which is once again so ironic because THEY should be the ones to try to understand it, but no, they just generalize everyone and share the nonsense propaganda that we’re incapable of change.

so yeah, this turned into another vent but i really lack any people in my life who i could be honest with. i feel so lonely all the time. it’s not even really missing a friend group or romance or physical touch, it’s more of this feeling of feeling completely alone and that no one (other than a few people whose writings and actions i admire but they’re all dead) would ever be able to truly understand me. so yeah as cheesy as it is, sometimes it’s nice to be reminded i’m not alone by someone other than a generic social media post made by someone who’d 100% hate me if i told them even half this shit. can i maybe dm you sometime btw? i felt like staying anon while writing this bc i tend to get anxious with ppl at first but idk, maybe, if youre comfortable with that ofc

btw if its alright to ask can i ask how did you get diagnosed? what was the process like and how long did it take? did they suspect anything else at first? do you feel treated by ppl any differently now tjat you have a diagnosis of such a stigmatized disorder? (^ i mean these previous questions if youre diagnosed by a psych, if not its perfectly valid as well ofc) whats personally helping u to cope?

Good luck! I’m glad I could offer some help/reassurance. Maybe instead of a physical journal you could use a private blog or even just a notes app on your phone/computer if that sounds safer?

I do hope things improve with your new therapist and that things work out, it’s good that she at least agrees you might have a PD. Normally I’d recommend a therapist who specializes in PDs, maybe even especially NPD, but idk if that’s accessible for you and/or if you’ve already tried it and had no luck.

But again, I want to reiterate that you’re not alone, and what you’re going through and what you feel is 100% relatable to other pwNPD. I truly wish that more people understood us and the irony isn’t lost on me that it’s always “empaths” who are the ones who have the LEAST empathy for us. And I feel like the societal lack of understanding contributes to the more “ugly” or “stigmatized” traits of our disorder even more, tbh. Anyway, my point is that I definitely don’t mind at all if you vent, so please do feel free to DM me if you want to or feel more comfortable that way!

As for my diagnosis, it’s a bit messy — for context im a recent graduate from college and the bulk of my therapy came from campus services, where it was acknowledged I very likely had a PD especially within cluster B but I never got an official diagnosis while I was seeing the school-based therapist, and at the moment I’m trying to find a new therapist who can help me. At first we thought I just had a really intense form of rejection sensitivity dysphoria due to ADHD, then realized it was likely something else. So I’m a weird mix of “self diagnosed, but likely wouldn’t have admitted it to myself or realized it if a professional hadn’t pointed me in that direction.” Until I can find a professional im honestly just doing the best I can to help myself. Sometimes I get tempted to turn to substances to cope bc they make me softer and more open, and if you feel the same way I highly recommend avoiding this, ofc. I mostly use relatable music (lmk if you want my NPD playlist!) and DBT workbooks as a way to help myself, and I also just try my hardest to avoid or remove myself from situations where I might lose my cool and become toxic. Obviously this is easier said than done, but there are ways to do it. For instance, if I’m in a group chat where I feel like people are getting more attention than me, I’ll mute the group chat and maybe text someone from a different group one-on-one (not necessarily about my issues, just in general).I know that answer is pretty mild and entirely social media based lol, but it’s the best example I can provide.

[imarawbu]

I talked to my mother again today. It's not good.

She basically told me everything that I expected her to.

She wants me to try and stay for my daughter. I told her he has hurt me and her, and I predict he will become worse as she gets older and I am already seeing it. Plus there is no keeping the peace with him, he picks fights about everything. I waited over a year before I told anyone, I dealt with this for 4-5 months before I even started anonymously telling people. She insisted to try. Not helpful. I already know what that type of environment is like, that's how I grew up. Being my parent's therapist, getting balmed for their martial problems. They separated when I was 10 and finally divorced 9 years later. They should have divorced long before having two kids.

She got into the racism and Islamphobia of course. That this is how Muslim and men of his ethnicity are, didn't I already find that out with my ex.

She is only willing to help out financially for me to go to trade school. Cause college is useless (though she has three degrees) and trade school jobs pay more (for a large amount of back breaking work). I thought she would at least offer me something, maybe help with a lawyer, or probably I estimated the max she could do, is offer for me to move up there near them. They own two rental houses, one of which I know is empty currently. But they would want the market rate in rent. The only good thing is my mom would live right down the street and I would not need to pay for child care.

So yeah. Helpful. Like always. Of course there would be no help for me. What's new. There is no help.

My dad said he wanted to talk when he came back from being at my aunt's. I assume he will also talk with my stepmom. She's more liberal than he is and she's been a single mother most of her life. In contrast, my stepdad is more conservative, ex-military, and hates kids.

[penelopecruzcoded]

the urge to kill myself when any minor inconvenience in my life vs. the reminder that too many people i love would be sad as a result of those actions (even though sometimes you literally wanna do it to spite one of those people aka a parent bc she says the most deeply cutting painful shit out of nowhere like y u gotta do that fam)

i mean it's painful and cutting but also she's not wrong... i feel like we're ben affleck and matt damon in good will hunting and she's giving me The Speech except unlike matt damon i'm useless and unable to better myself or progress anywhere in life for reasons, and man does it feel bad... like damn, sometimes i think the universe sent me this person and stuck me to her in this period in time specifically to help me learn these lessons i need (and even then i feel weird saying this beyond just my internal thoughts because it all comes out me, me, me) and give me the reality checks i sorely need, but my god if they aren't painful to experience. everything is moving slow and i can't improve fast enough for anybody's liking, can't wake up fast enough, can't stop dissociating fast enough. sometimes i don't want to die but just curl up in a pocket or fold up like a piece of paper so so so so tiny it no longer ceases to exist. i don't know what's more ridiculous this current situation i find myself in or the one i was stuck in my 20's. but at least i knew him, lmao. at least i knew him and touched him and could feel him and smell him and hold him, my god it felt so nice to hold him, and to know somebody is to love them and all of that, and we were literally so so so so close you almost don't get closer as far as platonic relationships are involved, so i was happy, to an extent. and if anybody saw the movie of my life from my eyes, they'd say of course you fell for him, of course you did honey, we would have too, we see it, by god we see it. anyone would understand how i felt and continued to feel for a solid 6 to 7 years since we last hugged and said goodbye. but this? this is the most hilarious, miserable clown show on earth. i knew i shouldn't have laughed at my old therapist's patient case study in his office, when he told me about her, even though it was less mocking laughter and more the incredulous type. nevertheless, i laughed, i passed judgement on another mentally ill person, and the universe said ha. you think she is ridiculous. you find her ridiculous... you will see. you will see lmao. fast forward and i'm wearing the clown nose and wig. and the dunce hat. this feels so ridiculous, it really IS ridiculous, put in the torment nexus literally by my own thoughts and brain?? why did i have to do that to myself. how can i undo that. i really want to undo it. but i'm scared of making that wish to the universe and fully committing to that wish, because when i wish for things they come true, and boy do they come true. and i'm scared of the things that would follow. i really am. because it's a very tenuous house of cards i've built here upon which many things hinge. hate that this is so but it is. and now i'm scared to blow out the bottom row because surely the top won't be left standing after? and i love the top, i do, the top is all mine.

oh boy... ariana. i wish i could pull an eternal sunshine. but also i don't. but also i do. but also i don't. somehow this too is holding me back. oh well. what is new. lol