#my weird writing

[lucylesdreams]

Saan-taAA LuciaAAAH!

It is already dark outside. Streetlamps, cars and a random helicopter are blocking out the natural light from above. But that does not matter, because I am staying inside. I keep staring at the wall until the white dots in my eyes form a female shape to stay with me and keep me company for a little while.

I was disturbed by creepy high pitched children's voices from the hallway. I had to investigate. A trail of human larves dressed in white bed sheets. The males had dark blue cones on their heads and the lesser females had tinsel in their hair. All held a tiny lightsaber in their sticky hands. The female leader in front of the flock had electric lights on her head in the shape of a crown. She picked her nose while she hit a most disturbing tone. They just walked past me and the other heads from the other apartments. Their heads like mine had popped out to take a look at the spectacle.

They were celebrating a woman from the olden times. A rich woman, who refused to marry, refused to share a bed with a man, she had shared her riches with the poor. Her incel suitor told on her to the authorities. The incel asked his “daddys” to take her away and sell her in a brothel for not liking his mighty dick, but she wouldn't move. So they poked her eyes out with a fork and stabbed her in the neck.

The new authorities are the ones that keep celebrating her. But they have made it all cutesy and nice, so the proto-men and proto-non-men dont get scared. They say it is nice that she was murdered by men. Because, they say she died for the glory of a man named Jesus. And they say, she is pure. "Letting" a male force himself into one's body, is the worst crime of all. Always make sure to be murdered before being raped. Only way to stay pure for the men in the clouds.

I closed the door when the little ghosts had passed on to the next floor. It is nice that the little people learn so early how life works.

If I just keep staring into the wall, the woman in my eyes will return soon.

[acorviart]

not to sound like a boomer, but I need some people to learn how to write emails in a semi-professional (at the very least) format so you're not cold emailing a business/potential employer/any other stranger about formal matters in the exact same way you'd DM a close friend on instagram

the formality/language can loosen up in the email chain once you've established a rapport and you match the other person if they're being less formal, but please don't have the very first email you send a stranger be written in all lowercase ultra-casual sms slang with no greeting or signature and a billion emojis

[haven-of-dusk]

It's in the AM now, so it's time for me to pull out the basically fanfiction plot I thought up way back when Descendants: Rise of Red was announced and present it as though anyone cares. Need to put this weird early morning energy somewhere.

Principal Cast: Returning: Mal, Evie, Ben, Uma, Lonnie, Red (sort of, I wrote this before I knew anything about her personality since I came up with it back when all that was known was the title of the movie. New Principal Characters: Kivuli - Scar's child (can be either gender) that even Scar didn't know about. Has since grown up with the Hyenas (who have reformed significantly, though are still treated harshly by the lions) Taa - Simba's youngest, formed a close friendship with Kivuli despite their family history and the gap of years between them. Krys - Elsa's son of an unknown source. Was raised entirely by Anna and Kristoff as Elsa vanished into the Enchanted Forest a long time ago before Krys was born and Krys' exact origin is unknown (and also thus Elsa could still totally be queer and Disney wouldn't have to show it). Inherited a literally watered down version of his mother's powers (hydrokinesis) that gets stronger and more like his mother as the film continues. Coronus - Son of Hercules and Megara, formed a very close bond with Krys that blossoms into romance. Also the brawn to Krys' brain. Jack - Son of the Queen of Hearts. Has lost his sanity after being imprisoned in Wonderland with his mother. For Auradon it was 25 years. For him, who knows... Evan - The elder son of the Evil Queen, was imprisoned underneath Auradon's castle for attempting to kidnap infant Ben alongside Jack. The prison's magic makes it feel for him as though 500 years have passed despite the short time it has actually been. A powerful sorcerer in his own right. Hans II/Flint - Prince Hans' only son. Was exiled and imprisoned in the Frozen North for the supposed assassination of his grandfather using his gift for fire magic (that he learned from spellbooks, not from bloodline). Cast of his father's name once he realized his father set up false evidence to let Flint take the fall and allow Hans freedom from the Isle of the Lost (for "good behavior") Beiye Yu (I really hope I didn't butcher the spelling or coming up with that name, someone please correct me if I did) - Shan Yu's daughter, leading a reassembled fighting force for revenge on Fa Mulan and Auradon in general for siding with Mulan.

Plot:

Prologue: 25 Years Ago/Act I: Auradon 'At Peace' A brief chase sequence showing the forces of Auradon capturing Jack and Evan and imprisoning them, emphasizing their terror. Match cut from infant Ben to present day Ben, celebrating his anniversary with Mal and generally enjoying the fact that Auradon is thriving. This is also where we get the introduction to our hero kids. Cutting over to the Pride Lands, we see Kivuli playing with hyena cubs (including playing dead to let them win, this'll come back later), followed by a discussion of their general lack of food (Pride Land segments can be animated, but the characters take on human-esque forms in Auradon). He meets with Taa and asks for his help, though Taa says their resources are limited as well. Not long after Kivuli stumbles upon the gateway to Auradon, which the Pride Lands have had the whole time, and realizes what Taa and the other lions have been hiding from them, infuriating him. His friends and 'family' have been starving, and he witnesses Auradon living in excess. Over the opening credits, Beiye and her forces are traveling in a blizzard, when they come across an isolated manse, housing one occupant with his feet constantly bound together, Flint. Kivuli sneaks under Auradon and finds the containment vessel for Evan, freeing him. They decide to work together to force Auradon to recognize its history of cruelty and hypocrisy, and they set off to free Jack as well.

Ben and the hero boys are going off on a camping trip, planning to stop near Hans' estate, but they find it in chaos, with the charred remains of Hans' body having been found in his office. Realizing what this means, Ben prepares to lead them back to Auradon. Meanwhile, Evan shattering the seal on Wonderland's gate has allowed Jack back into the 'real world' and drawn Mal and the rest of the protagonists to the Isle, where the trio trick them and trap them inside a newly formed barrier. Taa arrives, having followed Kivuli, but is also trapped on the Isle as Kivuli shatters the bridge. While most of the group tries to find a way off the Isle, Red and Evie go to Wonderland for a little side quest.

Act II: Auradon Falls The five antagonists come across each other and forge an even larger alliance, marching into Auradon. Recall the music video for Ways to be Wicked with the Apples that unleashed dark urges? Evan actually casts that spell on the many children in Auradon, turning them wild and against their parents, causing riots and rampant destruction. During this rampage the quintet take the castle with ease, destroy the sculpture garden (and the gardens in general), wreak havoc, ad then parade the captured kings and queens through the streets, all while their own children jeer, mock, and harass them. Kivuli also retrieves Ben's crown from the throne room and snaps it in half, declaring the Kingdom of Auradon a broken promise and a worthless lie. Ben, Krys, and Coronus witness this from outside the city, and Ben sends the other two to retrieve the rest of Auradon's remaining military from the Northlands (they were intended to prevent incursions like Beiye's, but Beiye's forces slipped through thanks to help from Flint in evading Auradon's defenses), while he surrenders himself to the quintet to buy everyone else time. Mal and co. find a route off the Isle, and Red and Evie return just in time with the item they were looking for: the Vorpal Sword, aka the only weapon capable of destroying Wonderland beings when they are outside of Wonderland (Jack is also capable of summoning and manipulating card soldiers, should've mentioned that sooner). While captured, Ben realizes the depths of what Auradon has allowed and in a fury, literalizing their title for him of "a blind king leading a blind people," Flint burns out Ben's eyes. The battle converges on Auradon.

Act III: Absolution Kivuli guards Ben on the castle's central tower, Evan is below the castle, preparing a larger scale version of the curse to unleash the dark side of all of Auradon, Beiye and Jack prepare to lead their forces on the front lines, and Flint returns to Anna, who he stored in another tower of the castle, furious with her for forgiving his father. A chaotic battle ensues. Coronus and Lonnie working together are able to subdue Beiye, and Lonnie reveals to her the truth of who her father was, causing Beiye to surrender. Evan similarly is coerced into standing down by Evie (and Uma fighting him magically). Jack fights Red and Mal for a time, until Red manages to grievously wound him (but not kill him yet) with the Vorpal Blade, and Mal continues upward. Krys overpowers Flint and rescues Anna. Taa frees Ben from his restraints, and though blind, Ben is able to access some small fraction of the Beast's power, and use those enhanced senses to help fight Kivuli. They are still losing though, and Ben takes a deadly blow in Taa's place, until Mal arrives in dragon form and turns the tide. Unfortunately, she was too late, and though she's able to hold his hand and sing to him in his final moments, Ben dies of his injuries. Kivuli and Taa's tussling sends Kivuli over the edge of the balcony, in a dark mirror of their father and grandfather, but Kivuli refuses to take Taa's hand and plummets to his death. Similarly, Jack, refusing to be reimprisoned in the madness of Wonderland, fatally stabs himself with the Vorpal Blade, dying with a smile on his face. Flint too, chooses to set himself ablaze along with the tower rather than return to his imprisonment. As the hyena cubs (more of the Pride Lands arrived as reinforcements for Auradon) try in vain to wake up Kivuli's motionless body, Evan mourns, even as Mal and Taa descend with Ben's body. He lectures them on the twisted system they still haven't stopped perpetuating, and most of all their cruel justice that means its recipients would rather die than be imprisoned.

Evan is placed under house arrest/Evie's care, a small monument to Ben is erected, the innocent and/or abused children of the villains are finally brought to Auradon proper en masse, and though the losses were great, Auradon may finally find the dawn it thought it had perpetuated for so long. Is it way too dark for Disney Channel? Almost definitely. Would they ever go for it what with the queerness, heavier themes, pointing out how royally f**ked the morals of Auradon are, the violence, etc? Doubtful. But my brain wanted to do something interesting with the franchise since I assumed (and seemingly assumed correctly) that Rise of Red would just be another sanitized, by the book, nothing product.

I also didn't mention it, but this would still be a musical. A dark musical for sure, but those exist obviously.

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[llamahearted]

two people will go through similar things & learn to cope in different ways

print ♥︎ song

[citrinekay]

he's forty years old. he's babygirl. he's unhinged. he's creating problems for himself and everyone else. he's god's favorite punching bag. he's a whore. he's pathetic. he's my poor little meow meow

[the-raindeer-king]

Simon would love a little freak (affectionate) of a partner. Like you collect weird things, like taxidermy or bones? Say less, babes. He's getting you an animal skull for your birthday.

Is your thing clowns? Man is scouring the internet for some obscure clown clock because you saw it on Ebay once and complained about the price.

You likes bugs? Great, he's got a friend named Roach. Y'all be freaks (affectionate) together. But also he's building you a butterfly garden, or buying you a pet spider, or whatever.

It doesn't even have to be weird. You could just really like the ocean, or horses, or whatever. And I just realized what I'm getting at is that Simon would love a neurodivergent partner...

And he would!! He'd listen to you ramble and rant, and he'd be making a mental list of things to look for when he buys you presents. You could be hyperfixated on literally anything, and Simon would find a way to get you a present related to that interest. This man would move heaven and earth, if it meant making you happy.

[cozylittleartblog]

Columbo and the Knight (1984)

put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.

Autism W!

[fairydrowning]

"I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself."

– Franz Kafka

[somanywhatifs]

[butchgrayson]

behold my vision

[taro-pdf]

Humans are space oddities: risk taking

Alien: the ship’s broken Prak, human, and the newest addition on board: so, are you going to fix it? Alien: I’d die in space! Are you crazy? Prak: ??? so would i, just put on a space suit? Alien: You mean that bag with only 16 layers between you and an environment that’d kill you?? Let’s just wait till we reach the next solar system. It’s only a week. Prak: no way, something could happen. I’ll just go out now. [goes out and fixes it] Alien: ???? Alien [writing in notebook]: humans do not fear the cold embrace of death. Prak [writing in notebook]: my crewmates are wimps.

Edit: for clarification, this alien is generalizing based off their experience with one human! Prak is both dumb and dislikes tasks being unfinished. My other humans, the ones not trained as astronauts (which prak isn’t either either lol) would not go out with only 16 layers separating them from the void of space

[tubbytarchia]

Missed drawing these two too

Bonuses

[aeonmnei]

— “i’m home,” hajime calls from downstairs. you glance at the clock as you put your book down, sliding your feet into your slippers. “welcome back,” you reply, plodding down the stairs with a yawn. “long game?” 

he runs his hands through his hair tiredly as he leans his elbows on the kitchen counter. “like you wouldn’t believe.” you frown, and wrap your arms around his waist from behind. “there’s leftovers in the fridge. i’ll make you a bath while you eat?” you ask, patting his hip. 

hajime groans softly, his hands on his face. “that sounds great,” he murmurs. “sorry i came home late again.” “s’okay,” you assure him, rubbing his back. “i’ll wash your hair, too.”

you sit outside of the bathtub on a stool, lathering his shampoo in your hands as he leans his head back. “lean forward just a bit, my love,” you urge. he complies, letting you run your fingers through his hair in a comfortable silence.

he takes a deep, ragged breath as your hands move to massage the knots in his back and shoulders. you furrow your brows in concern. “does that hurt?” you can see the bump of his spine as he leans his head forward. “no,” he mumbles, and he relaxes, letting out a shuddering exhale. “no. feels nice.”

after a few quiet moments, you press a small kiss between his shoulder blades. “love you forever, haji.”

[zephyrchama]

(obey me!) moments where they fall in love with you all over again

---01

It’s dinner, and you’re talking about mundane things that happened during your day. You saw a cool bird, got some gum stuck on your shoe, and bought a new flavor of toothpaste to try. Everyone is listening intently. If only they would pay this much attention in class.

Lucifer knows the way his brothers look at you all too well. It’s a look full of respect, admiration, and fondness. It’s a look that’s often reflected on his own face when in your presence. At first he never really understood why you put up with his siblings, as the option to ignore them and be on your way was always there. Yet you continue to make time for them anyway. How unusual.

Moments like these where everyone is together and you don’t treat them as the Seven Rulers of Hell, you just treat them as your dear friends and family. That’s what makes Lucifer soft. He tries to imagine a long future of things staying just like this.

---02

Mammon’s hesitant to lend anybody money, even you. It takes a few minutes to butter him up and fluff his ego before he relents. At last, he hands you the crispest bill in his wallet. “Don’t spend it all in one place,” he kids, knowing full well he’d do just that if he was in your shoes.

He’s curious what you plan to buy. It never dawns on him that you have no intention of spending the cash. Half an hour later, he finds it on his desk. The exact same bill, now creased and folded neatly into an origami bird.

He picks it up to wiggle the little paper wings, entranced, then looks around frantically and catches your eye. A playful smile graces your face and tugs at his heartstrings.

---03

Leviathan is not typically one to make mistakes when it comes to anime. But even he’s not perfect.

He had it set in his mind that the new show premiered at 6:00pm, which left plenty of time to prepare the ultimate solo viewing party after school. He was humming quietly to himself when you walked over. “Isn’t your show starting soon?”

You specifically took an interest in his hobbies. You remembered that it started at 16:00 (four o’clock), not 6:00. Leviathan wondered, how could he make such a egregious mistake? You were the one who dashed back to the House of Lamentation at full speed by his side. When your human stamina started failing, he unconsciously picked you up so you’d both make it in time. You made it with two minutes to spare.

Sweaty and out of breath, still in uniform, you were able to watch the premiere together. It wasn’t until after credits rolled, you went elsewhere, and the live reactions on social media started calming down that Levi realized what a big deal this was to him. What a big deal you were to him.

---04

Satan wasn’t expecting you to be spacing out in his favorite armchair. He had plans to read in it that evening, and considered asking you politely to move. But the way the lamp light shines on your skin, the thoughtful expression on your face while pondering ideas unknown. The way your lips part ever so slightly and your eyes gaze off into nothing. It captivates him. You look like a painting. His breath gets caught in his throat, and in clearing it he manages to break your trance.

“Oh, hey. Welcome home, I didn’t realize you were there.”

You go to get out of the chair, but Satan insists you stay. It doesn’t look right without you anymore. He doesn’t feel right without you anymore.

---05

Asmodeus does not have wardrobe malfunctions often. His outfits are of the highest quality and a lot of care goes into putting them on. Still, things happen.

When his fans rush forward out of nowhere, sometimes they are successful in tearing his clothes. A fistful of shirt here, a mouthful of pants-leg there. Being in the center of a lust-fueled stampede can make even the most collected people lose their minds, but you are steadfast. You shout at the rabid demons, shaming them for their disrespect. You believe you can chase them off all on your own, not knowing that the Avatar of Lust behind you is exuding a killer aura and warning his fans to back off with a powerful glare.

As you sloppily stitch up what remains of his shirt so he can walk home without the incident repeating, Asmodeus is smiling from ear to ear. You’re so focused on genuinely helping that you don’t even notice the bedroom eyes he’s flashing. The scene of you waving your arms and trying to chase off a pack of demons as if they were stray pigeons is permanently ingrained in his memory. Just as your existence is ingrained in his soul.

---06

Beelzebub knows what he likes. He knows what will catch his interest and is pleasantly surprised when a new one crops up.

One thing he likes is you. Another is food. Both are in the cafeteria. He piles a tray high with carbs and goes looking for you at lunch time, finding you seated in the middle of a long table at the edge of the room. He calls your name.

It’s unexpected, the way you quickly swing your head up mid-bite. Your cheeks are full and noodles dangle from your mouth, sauce dripping back onto your plate. Your eyes light up as you look at him from below. It makes him stop in his tracks, causing several shorter demons to walk into him. Such a simple action, yet so profound. You hurriedly chew and offer him a seat while Beelzebub powers through his emotions. He takes a seat across from you to offer a napkin, wondering when he’ll see that face again.

---07

It’s late, far past everyone’s bedtime. Yet Belphegor forgot to tell you something during the day and decided now would be a great time. When you don’t respond to the quiet knocks at your door, he lets himself inside. Your sleeping figure looks too comforting to resist and he gets the brilliant idea to crawl into bed with you to whisper in your ear.

The problem is, as soon as he lifts the covers, you fart. It’s loud. You don’t move an inch, remaining fast asleep and ignorant of what just happened.

Belphegor freezes in his tracks to process it, but is soon doubled over on the futon laughing. The vibrations wake you. You sleepily open your eyes to see who is in hysterics and ask the obvious: “what?”

Belphegor is laughing too hard to tell you. He doesn’t want to tell you. It’s too priceless. You groggily smack him with a spare pillow and it makes him laugh harder. While he loves to look at you, that week it becomes difficult for him to meet your eyes without erupting into a fit of giggles.

[theloveinc]

mating press is so objectively ugly ... embarrassing