This year has been tough. I think the first year after Cliff died, I was still so numb from the shock that I was able to do things on automatic pilot. This year I feel the sting of his absence keenly. I have stayed busy with my murder and mayhem podcast to keep my brain functioning, go to see my grandbabies in their activities, and try to maintain something of a social life, but I feel the emptiness and wonder if it will ever ease.
To make matters worse, my mother was diagnosed with cancer and has been undergoing chemo and proton treatments. She is in the hardest part of it right now and watching her struggle with the side effects is agonizing. At 88, she is still so vital and independent. Seeing her hurting and vulnerable breaks my heart. And I can't help but question why God would send me through another battle so soon after the last one. I am staying in Louisiana with her to help my sister take her to the appointments and to do whatever I can for her, but it seems I cannot do anything to ease the burden.
I am clinging to the hope that God will bring us through all of this gracefully. We've met some wonderful people at the cancer center and have formed a special bond with them. We will likely never see one another again when this is over, but I am grateful for the encouragement we are able to give one another.
Remember to pray for the people you follow (or who follow you) on social media who just vanished one day. God willing, they're just taking a break or have a new account or quit the site. But there's a very real possibility that something could have happened to them. Maybe they're extremely ill, maybe they're now homeless, or maybe they passed away. And God willing, if something were to ever happen to you, that people would be praying for you because they noticed you haven't been online for some time.
The conversation between Namora and Namor at the end of Wakanda Forever literally be the meme in another font of: "I know you think my judgment is clouded because I like her a little bit" "You doodled your wedding invitation" "No that's our joined tombstone" "My mystake"
(think i bit off more than i can chew with this one, gamers (’._.) might have to dial back the shading/backgrounds for the rest of this just so i can keep my sanity)
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I have lived with Complex PTSD and Anorexia since I was 6 years old.
Over the years I have also been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, panic disorder, Functional Neurological Disorder, Fibromyalgia, a large bowel that no longer works and Costochondritis. I have had 46 hospital admissions both medical and mental health over the past 8 years to date (date of posting is April 2024)
I require weekly psychology, dietitian,, GP and physiotherapy appts as well as weekly medication costs, and other specialist appointments frequently.
I have been on the disability pension since 2019 but that doesn’t even begin to cover half of what I require and I have thousands of bills outstanding and money required to access the supports that I need to not be in hospital every few weeks.
I so appreciate the current cost of living but would be so grateful any donation large and small so that I can begin to truly live. Believe me when I say I have exhausted every option possible to try and get on track and moving forward.