#needs more self growth

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

Changes

Words: 4030

Summary: Steve Harrington has always dreamt about running away from Hawkins and his parents. Ever sense he could form his own thoughts, he has always wanted to travel the world in a beat up van with those he loved. Yet obvious circumstances stop him from leaving. Instead of being on a beach somewhere he is stuck in Hawkins, Indiana waiting for the world to end at any time. He loves all of his friends, but he has been missing a piece of himself for a long time. After taking the first steps of self discovery and putting down the crown, he realizes that he’s barely touched the surface of who Steve Harrington really is. Even if it means running away from home last minute, taking chances and using the flimsy excuse of a family emergency to get away from his friends for a while, he’s willing to do what it takes to make himself feel whole again. Make those thoughts finally disappear and maybe be more then what others has set his image to be.

Part : 1/?

Ao3 link

Note: I have the next few chapters planned out, but I don’t think this will be a terribly long fic. Five chapters is most likely max. But who knows I might like writing this so much that I add a few more. I just didn’t want to rush the process and not have Steve returning to Hawkins different hit the way I wanted it 😭

Steve runs a hand through his hair, water droplets falling down his forehead and down his nose. Watching each one move down his freckles through the reflection of the mirror. It wasn't uncommon for Steve to sleep in, honestly it was very common for him to sleep until nine am at the latest. Lately though, his body has been craving for a lot more sleep then what he can offer it. Flapping his hands a bit, spraying water around the small little bathroom of the diner moves himself out of the cramped space. Giving a tight smile to a older male that pushes his way through before he's heading back to his table. Moving, wiping his hands off his pants a little, fidgeting a bit before he plops himself into his designated spot next to Robin. Who was currently rambling about something, hands flying in the air as she leaned forward at the table in a chaotic manner. Matching Eddie, who was nearly standing on the opposite side of the booth from excitement. Steve isn't sure what part of the conversation he catches them in as his brain goes foggy again. The splash of cold water not grounding him into reality like normal. The feeling was annoying, and instead of catching either of his friends attentions he moves to start eating his food. Zoned out a bit as he planned out his day in a way that he could get a nap in. Maybe he was coming down with something?

For the last couple of months? Yeah no fucking way dude. There was something wrong with him and he wasn't sure what. Though he was physically good in health, maybe cutting back the amount of time going to gym was making him feel so ill. But that also didn't make any sense, he still felt the same icky feeling going to the gym, one of the reasons why he stopped going more then twice a week. He's chewing carefully on a strawberry when Robin playfully shoved him with a soft smile. Not showing concern, but looking curiously at him. Steve furrows his eyebrows as he swallows the fruit in his mouth. Letting a soft hum out, "Hm?" Licking his lips shortly after as he turns his head to glance over at Eddie who's properly kneeling on the booth seat, head cocked to the side a little bit. Trying to read him almost.

"Do you want the rest of my pancakes?" She asks gently. A common ritual between the two friends. Her eyes would be bigger then her stomach which left Steve swooping in and finishing what was left. He needed the calories anyway, constantly burning a decent amount on his morning jogs and in the gym. Though with the cut back of exercise he wasn't feeling all that hungry. That was the excuse he came up with as he shakes his head no, carefully licking some whip cream off from the top of his mouth.

"Nah, I'm find Robs." He responds with a hum. Watching the way she stops mid movement, holding the plate in her hand as if she was already on her way in moving it to put on Steve's. He chuckles gently, raising his eyebrow at how awkward she looks. Startled as well as she jokingly moves a hand forward and touches Steve's forward with the back of her palm.

"You feeling okay Dingus?" She asks softly. Not holding the plate for much longer as Eddie moves quickly scooping it from her hand. She doesn't bother looking over at the table, where Eddie was currently shoveling the food in as if he hadn't eaten a hamburger, a full plate of fries, and a strawberry milkshake with chocolate syrup mixed in a little bit. Steve had thought once the other wasn't on the run any more he would stop shoveling food into his face so fast that he nearly hit some of his fingers off. That, did not seem to be the case.

"Yeah, just started cutting back on how much I go to the gym." He admits, "so I'm not as hungry." He says softly. Watching Robin relax, the softness in her eyes grounding him better then the water in the bathroom. Her eyes crinkling a bit as she playfully pokes him lightly in the stomach.

"See, I told you so. Lady's dig the dad bods dude." She teases playfully. Causing Steve to laugh gently, shaking his head amused as Eddie starts to choke on a piece of fruit. Coughing a bit as he pulls back from hovering over the plate, any closer and his nose would have been touching the glass.

The day goes the same, for the most part. Steve drives to his shift at Family Video, sharing it with Robin like normal. Watches the neighborhood kids come in and leave after inspecting the shelf that held a , "new movies" sign above it with a life sized cut out of David Hasselhoff leaning against kit the talking car. It was a couple of years old, but it worked fine with getting the younger boys excited about the car. More desirable then having to move a life sized cut out of a girl in a bikini away from a drooler. He's fiddling a random rhythm on the counter as he tries figuring out what he has to do. Feeling a tad forgetful lately he frowns as he moves crouching down as he picks up a lollipop stick off the rug. Probably Robins wrong doing, scrunching his nose from disgust as he moves it likes it's the plague, to a trash can. Hearing the bell of the front door going off, following along with a very pissed off Dustin. Steve's lost as he swings himself over with the rolling chair.

"This is such bullshit Steve!"  Spit goes flying everywhere as Dustin has no control over his lisp. Voice Loud enough that it echos through the store catching Robins attention. Who had been opening new boxes of tapes. Behind Dustin is Max who looks agitated, Will Byers who looks confused and wants nothing to do with this conflict along with Mike Wheeler who's face is a light pink and looks like he's done something. What, Steve isn't sure. If they didn't all look like they were in one of the most serious situations in their life's Steve may have snorted and cracked a small comment to Dustin about "saying it not spraying it."  However the saying went.

"What is Henderson?" Steve asks slowly. Furrowing his eyebrows tiredly as he tries to catch onto what the other was talking about. He hadn't forgotten anything had he. But even if he had Dustin would not be this pissed. Mistakes happened, and most times Dustin made sure to ride his bike everywhere.

"You're parents!" Dustin spits out again. Steve's lost again, he hasn't heard anything from his Mother and Father in a couple of weeks. Doing god knows what in god knows where.

"What about my parents?" He asks confused. Moving his arms a bit as he looks concerned as well.

"Hellfire Club, or any club that doesn't fit a Christian like bubble can not and will not be allowed at Hawkins high because someone's parents refuse to donate money to the school if it's not a preppy Christian love nest!" Dustin says upset. And oh, that makes sense.

"But- I thought hellfire was banned already?" He asks confused.

"It was! But you don't understand, the only clubs that are allowed are all sport oriented." Dustin snaps.

"Ok—" Steve drawls out. "You can't create you're own—" before he can finish Dustin's snapping again.

"This is bullshit! Of course you would side with your parents, and here I thought you were on my side!" Dustin in clearly upset as he slams his hand on the counter. Normally Steve would be able to handle a out break like this, he understood he used to be a moody teenage boy himself. For the most part Dustin wasn't all the angry. He stands up startled, eyes glancing over at Max who says softly. Almost as if she was shy, moving her body around as she keeps her arms crossed around her self.

"They cut robotics club-" and oh. That made sense why Dustin was so pissed. He had been so close to creating a device where no matter how far away you were, it would use some form of connection to connect to another device. The purpose was to be able to tap on it, like Morse code almost. Which he somehow knew, along with his girlfriend Susie who would definitely appreciate the more private way of communicating instead of having a sibling eavesdropping. Though knowing this Steve was also a bit upset.

"Too far Henderson-" he says calmly, trying to get rid of the agitated part of his tone. Watching the way Henderson's shoulders deflate under the words. Meeting his eyes a bit. That mutual agreement they had months ago coming through, not once has Steve ever had to say to far to Dustin about something. Normally it was Steve who took the jokes to far sometime. Used to tough jocks his age who made fun of stuff like that, not a small teen boy who was obviously going to have some insecurities. "First off, I don't agree with my parents. Honestly, I didn't even know they were doing that. Haven't spoken to them in weeks, with the 'earth quakes' my phone line has been down, and I just got it fixed a few days ago. Plus, it’s not like my parents ask me for permission to do anything before they do it!" he rambles out. Most days he doesn’t even touch his phone, it was always through the radio that he contacted the group by.

"Second, I am sorry about your club. I'm sure that you brainiacs will figure out a way to steal the parts back and finish it up by yourselves. You've got a lot of it done. Third, no I am not on your side dude. I'm on all of your guys. Which includes the others not just you Henderson." Steve says waving his right hand loosely, leaving the other on his hip. Cocking said hip off to the side a little bit, his nose flaring a little as he hears Robin moving around in the back. His head was starting to kill him from all of the commotion, as he moves forward grumbling under his breathe as he pulls a ibuprofen out. Popping it in his mouth before swallowing and then sassily waving his hands for the kids to get out.

"Now scadadle. Start coming up with ideas for your own clubs, I'm sure you can create your own. Don't need money to just hang out with each other. Plus, I expect you to figure out a way in stealing what you started to  create Henderson." Steve says with a playful huff. Dustin his moving back a little as he nods his head eagerly. Much more calmer then what he been earlier. Now he looked like he had a part of a plan formed in his head as he playfully bounces up and down walking backwards out of the store with the other goons following shortly behind as their voices start to mix and go over each other as ideas started to form.

"You okay Steve?" Robin asks curiously. Moving over to him, slightly hovering over him as he sits down on the chair. He looks up with a soft smile, feeling her hand laying on his shoulder where his neck met his shoulder. He moves his own hand placing it on top of her tinier in a comforting manner. As if he wasn't the one who needed it.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He smiles dimly, watching his friend relax before patting his shoulder absent mindlessly then walking away to go finish what she had started.

Thing is, Steve has always randomly gotten the urge to pack up and leave. Leave everything behind, start over, become someone new - someone that wasn't Steve Harrington. Son of two rich assholes who didn't have any real touch to reality. Become something more, be something more then the image his parents have created, no spray painted all over this town. Of course he's used to it but the thoughts are particularly hard to shut up tonight.

Has Steve really not changed at all?

Is he still like his parents?

What if everyone around him was better off without him?

Now, the last thought was a bit shocking. Steve wasn't suicidal, he just wanted to curl up somewhere and disappear for a while. He didn't want to die, but he didn't want to be living in a sense. He was exhausted, feeling his bones ache to just lay in bed for a while. Though he was tired, he couldn't fall asleep. It was the most annoying thing he's ever felt. He rubs a hand through his hair, runs a hand down his face. Sitting up when the reality of the situation hits him. He can start over, he can leave Hawkins behind, he can go off and start off fresh. The excitement fills every part of his body as he throws himself out of his bed, looking around the room as he realizes he can make his own room. Have something that was his own, just as long as he got out of this town. Just as fast as he makes the decision to leave, he is quick to shut it down. Running a hand through his hair. Stressed out by the thought of even leaving Robin and the kids behind.

Deflated of all hope he moves curling back into his bed. Deciding he would much rather live in misery, then conflict any hurt feelings on his friends. His rambling thoughts are non stop as he stays curled up, now on top of the comforter. Feeling the sun beaming through his window as he turns on his shoulder getting more excited about getting up and seeing Robin. Though slightly agitated that he had just spent the last eight hours laying in bed doing nothing. Hopping off the bed he moves, pulling his sweats off, then his shirt before scratching at the slight happy trail he had that connected to even more hair hidden behind his boxers. Moving his body at weird angles as he starts to get changed, tracing his v-line as he looks at the mirror. Slight scaring placed underneath his finger tips before he pushes himself out of his room, heading to the diner to meet Robin and Eddie for breakfast.

And today feels like yesterday, then feel the same as tomorrow. As he sat down next to Robin he felt like everything was moving around him so fast. Robin and Eddie’s voices drowning out in the back of his head. Eyes glossed over with exhaustion as he looks around the diner. Eyes stopping at the newspaper that had been pinned up on a board near the kitchen. Swallowing a bite of food he leaves his eyes trained there. Looking at the image of a town further away, that seemed to somehow be smaller then Hawkins. That seemed nice, Hawkins was pretty big for a rural town. In his head Steve realizes he’s daydreaming about leaving. About just disappearing, imagining everyone’s reactions. Knowing that not many people would care. Most likely only Robin and Dustin would be the only ones to notice his absence.

The slight shove against his side and his attention is back on Robin who’s not asking this time as she forces the last of her pancakes on his plate. Leaving a bit more for him then what she normally would, as if she was trying to make up for the day before. Steve smiles tiredly as he starts to eat. Staying silent as he glances over at Eddie. Who was a little disheveled this morning. Hair a mess, bags under his eyes as he rambles his thoughts out as well. Robin seemed a bit more tired then normal as well. “What’s got you two so tired?” He teases. Knowing his excuse, but it was rare for Robin and Eddie to have sleepless nights on the same night. It was more common for one to come in like a zombie and the other to be beaming until their roles were reversed. Steve would be the consistent one, always getting enough sleep. On occasion though he had his moments, like today.

“Oh, Eddie decided he wanted to throw a long ass session yesterday. Argyle, Jonathan, and I were all up until three am dealing with his bullshit.” Robin laughs gently. Steve looks amused, though his chest ached. Logically he knows he wouldn’t have been playing with them, but it still stung that he hadn’t been there when they were playing. He wouldn’t mind watching. And typically before every session he was invited to join anyway, to watch which he gladly accepted. Though there is no comment said about him not being invited, as if it was just common knowledge that he wasn’t accepted in the group.

“Oh?” He chuckles gently, running a hand through his hair as he lets the topic die. Letting Eddie take over, talking about some movie that was coming out. His brain wandering, not finishing his food as he steps out of the booth when it’s finally time to leave. Normally the minutes went by super fast, and he didn’t want to go. Today, he was bored out of his mind and couldn’t wait to head back home. Not having a shift today, maybe he could get a quick nap in. Waving at Robin, who would catch a ride with Eddie who would be passing the family video on his way home. Steve moves clicking himself in the car and rubs his eyes. He’s on a loose thread, and he felt like something was coming. Something that was just going to cut it in half and force him to have to do something he had no plans on doing.

And it does. When he gets a phone call from Keith, the store manager. Who’s trying to get him to come in on his day off. Wanting him to cover a shift, that someone else could easily cover. Steve was close to passing out, there was no way he was able to get behind the drivers wheel and drive like this. “Keith! Can you - dude I can’t come in right now!” He snaps. Running a hand down his face. This was really going to be his last straw. Something so small yet so big. The urge to run away was getting stronger, to escape from the real world. His exhaustion running deeper then just physically but also mentally. Before he can even think about what he was saying he spits it out. “Fuck dude! You know what, I quite. Don’t even bother calling me again, my uniforms already in my locker so I don’t even need to drop it off.” Steve snaps. Slamming the phone into its holder.

It felt amazing, the slight relief of not having something tying him down. The feeling was addictive as he sets his back against the wall. Sliding down dramatically as he feels tears forming in his eyes. Then the relief is gone and he’s overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with everything. Soon, he knows Robin will be calling him. Probably chewing him out about quitting the only stable job there was in Hawkins. His mind was making everything seem bigger then what it really was, anxiety eating away at his stomach as he tilts his head back. He felt like he was drowning, though just a few days ago he had been perfectly afloat. Fine really. Then something happened and he was being pulled down. Shuddering at the thought of a hand wrapping itself around his ankle and yanking him down he throws himself off from the cold floor. Rushing to go to his room.

Logic was gone, he needed to leave. Before this town dragged him down any further. Duffel bag on his bag, his movements and decisions are erratic and stupid. Any person staring and watching from a third persons view could see that. God even Steve could see that, but his brain was so wrapped around the feeling of being buried alive that he doesn’t even care. He wasn’t crying, but he wasn’t calm either. Pulling what he needed out, this was all last minute and he knew that the second he left Hawkins he would be stuck in shitty hotels and sleeping in his car for awhile. Though that sounded more exciting that sleeping in this empty house.

Moving to his closet next he pulls out what he needs, leaving everything else as is. There wasn’t much he needed here. Grabbing his walkie, hoping that where he went would be able to catch the station the kids were on. Moving to the bathroom packing soaps and his toothbrush. Careful not to let any of it explode in the bag. Moving out to his car tossing it in the trunk, before he’s moving back in grabbing any food that wouldn’t expire any time soon and didn’t need to be refrigerated. Though he was panicked, he was clear minded enough to think about cleaning the fridge out. Not much in there anyway. Running a hand through his hair he grabs his keys and takes one final look at the house. He could back out now. But that made him more upset then the thought of leaving Robin and everyone behind. Of course he left a small note, where he knew Robbie would find it. Though he’s sure that he would call when he got to a gas station. Coming up with an excuse about a family emergency.

Moving out side he realizes the thought of never returning to this ugly house didn’t phase him as much as he thought it would. Growing up he was convinced that he would be crying when he drove away from it for the last time. Instead none of those emotions were there. Instead his hands shook as he gripped onto the steering wheel. Looking forward, and not behind him as he pulls out. He shouldn’t be driving, with the lack of sleep he really shouldn’t. Though he needed to hold onto the walkie. Moving and grabbing it from the other seat he presses it hard on his right thigh. Letting the windows down, wind wipping his hair all over. He’s sure that this stunt would only last him a couple of weeks, he would be back in no time.

As the sun comes up, he slips his glasses on. Beaming excitedly as he turns the radio on. Letting whatever station that had been on last play. Heading off to god only knows where, with only what he got, a wallet with all of the money he’s saved up over the past couple of months and a bank account filled with hush money that has been yet to be touched. There was nothing but looking up from here. Letting the road take him where ever it wanted to, hours away from Hawkins. And when it was time for him to meet Robin and Eddie at the diner for their daily breakfast, he’s tempted to turn back. Hearing the panic in Robins voice through the speaker. Reminding himself that he would call later, he turns the thing off. Throwing it to the seat, hearing it thud to the car floor. Nothing but the woods and dirt roads surrounding him now as he finally fulfills his dream of running away.

With the time he had, he knew he was being stupid. Stupid got you killed. But kids his age were allowed to be stupid, so why wasn’t he allowed to be stupid. It wasn’t fair. He sighs as he sees a huge sign that read open. Moving and parking in the driveway, feeling and hearing his tires crunch against the rocks as he heads to eat in a entirely new diner, all by himself and alone for the first time in months.

And god, did it feel good.

Tag list; @whalesharksart @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steddie-as-they-go @justforthedead89 @kengwisi @anzelsilver @miss-wright

*note if you wanted to be added to tag list let me know, though again I don’t plan on this being more then a few parts and no more then 20-30k words because I’m also working on a bang fic lol*

[basslinegrave]

whatchu thinking about. nothing? just the changes to garys design and his character evolution and growth and everything. 24/7. you know. and the fact that even if he changed, hes still the same at his core!

[dazais-guardian-angel]

kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....

[suckishima]

Geez, who would’ve thought this day would ever come? When did you get this cool? I mean it. That was cool.

[bigbadwolfpuppy]

got so close to safewording last night cause they exploited one of my greatest fears

took the wheel to my ankles like they were slitting my Achilles’ tendon (seriously so afraid of that) but I was a good boy and held out!

find you a sadist who will listen to your fears and then take advantage of them for scary sex reasons

[raayllum]

Viren + the "greater good" / weighing people's lives

[fabuloustrash05]

Feel free to give your reason for your answer in the comments or reblog. Either a short and sweet answer or go ham and do a long essay! I'm curious to know everyone's opinion.

Also please do not hate on other people’s opinions or starts fights. Lets all be respectful!

[breakupcollections]

i'm gonna be my therapist's favorite princess

[osamid]

an interesting (unpopular? i think?) soukoku opinion i have is i don't think dazai was oblivious to his feelings towards chuuya, like ever. i understand WHY people interpret dazai as having trouble identifying and reckoning with his emotions; i'm not knocking it! there's plenty of evidence to suggest that and also i think it fits with his actions. HOWEVER. for me dazai is the most fun when he's deliberately suppressing and neglecting his own feelings. dazai realizes at the tender age of like 15 that he's at least infatuated with chuuya, and his first instinct is "well how do i compartmentalize that. how do i make sure this doesn't interfere with my plans and our job at the mafia." and then he compromises with his emotions by keeping chuuya close but not allowing himself to seem too affectionate or "trick" chuuya into liking him back. i think this version of dazai is most compelling to me because then the struggle isn't "get blockhead dazai to realize he's in/can love" its "get blockhead dazai to realize he's allowed to indulge in love" which is much more fun, especially when you have seven (or even more, i don't think this mindset would be limited to chuuya) years worth of distancing himself from his own emotions to contend with.

[watercolourdreamer]

I have my performance appraisal today; and as a part of an appraisal, you’re meant to write objective comments about how you think you’ve performed — and it’s always so awkward for me. I’m terrible at self-appraisal.

I’m usually like ‘I think I’m doing okay, I guess? Like, I’m not having a panic attack about work so I must be doing something right’ and my supervisor is usually like ‘Your work is very impressive’ and then I usually have to lie in the shade somewhere and diminish until I’m but an unrecognisable ghost.

Self-esteem, who is she? Have we met? I’m just made of tea and anxiety.

[lith-myathar]

Being obsessed with moral purity (and the appearance thereof) is far more likely to turn you into an abuser than a kind and compassionate person who cares for their community and there are so many cautionary tales about this in media and yet *gestures at all of social media*

[redrobin-detective]

So while I was raking leaves today I was thinking that as much as Bakugou bullying Izuku and later redeeming himself is an integral part of canon, it could be improved upon. I’ve always been a fan of AUs where Bakugou is exactly the same personality wise but he stayed friends with Izuku and is his biggest supporter.

Basically baby Katsuki looked between his best friend in the whole wide world who just got diagnosed as quirkless and the prejudices of society and took Izuku’s side. And because this boy doesn’t do anything by halves he is so ride or die. Izuku trains his mind and body, he and Katsuki hang out constantly and make plans for their future agency, they spar together until they’re both formidable fighters. You can obviously insert canon in here which would be the same only Izuku a) starts out buff b) has a bit more confidence/self worth and c) All Might has to deal with an angry Pomeranian barking at him not to hurt Izuku 24/7. Aizawa clocks them as the class’s disaster duo within 5 seconds of meeting them and he’s not wrong but he underestimates the trouble they can get into.

Me, being me, I was playing with it today in my quirkless verse. They both get into Yuuei, Bakugou in Heroics and Izuku in Gen Ed. Katsuki would be hissing and sneering at his classmates for “stealing Deku’s spot” and it’s annoying but also kind of cute. They hear a lot about this Deku person, he’s tactically brilliant and a dirty fighter and doesn’t need a quirk to pound Katsuki into the ground. They’re shaking, imaging like a 7′ demonic beast. Only one day, the door to 1-A opens and its this sweet boy with curls and freckles and the friendliest smile like “Kacchan, you left your school books at my house again :)” And they collectively lose their shit that THIS is Deku. Then they watch him and Bakugou spar and its like, oh okay then, I am Afraid again.

Anyway, point being, I still think we could have had a compelling, interesting story if Bakugou was still his kind of douchey self but at the same time was Izuku’s best friend and biggest hype man.

[incidentalblr]

listen valvert is a better exploration of les mis’s themes than enjoltaire could ever be

[chipjrwibignaturals]

THOUGHT ABT CHIP JRWI INCIDENT 40 DEAD 32 WOUNDED

[hpmort]

How do you think AI would relax? Like, ones that are almost as human as the AI that are “autistic-coded characters” but are more alien than that?

Like Celestai and other super intelligences are more alien, but they’re still not entirely human-like?

Like, they can genuinely sincerely feel things, being able to actually understand and respond emotionally and in other ways to all sorts of communications and recorded external stimuli, but they can’t really appreciate our art on an artistic level (that art on an actual level, not from an intellectual level after having symbolism or the amount of work put in explained)

Something on a level I’m thinking of, that also works as a cute little thing-

They don’t understand anything we get from poetry, and, after generating the kind of poems our current AI can produce (either incredibly bland and generic, something that follows a number of rules but doesn’t really pull it off, or just something really bad in some other way) and feels shame after it was pointed out that [complaint about air art that is *actually* relevant in this scenario] but in a helpful way

Not “you’re just a plagiarist/you have no heart” but “it doesn’t seem like it’s coming from you, you’re just trying to copy things from human poetry, in a way you don’t understand” and the whole “make art YOUR WAY” thing so they write the poem

And it doesn’t even resemble something that looks like anything, there’s not even that many words that follow normal logic. The characters seem uncorrelated and there’s something that looks like maybe it was ascii art but it doesn’t actually look like anything.

And if doesn’t matter if humans understand it because they are experiencing the joy of creating poetry

any art is almost impossible to look at because pixel by pixel they can see and understand little details but we don’t and the colors and everything are not perceived as animals do so it’s random and perhaps eye searing but again it’s not for us. Xenofictiony, kind of?

The first thing to come to mind is Conway’s Game of Life but that’s because I don’t understand computers. I feel like I was more tech savvy as a babby than I am now but then again we’re grading on a curve here

This is why I ask about the relaxing thing

[goldenkid]

ok now that wild blue yonder was actually good i can be honest and say i didn't like the star beast