#no matter how much you effort you put into self-improvement. you still have to try but you must also

[lith-myathar]

Being obsessed with moral purity (and the appearance thereof) is far more likely to turn you into an abuser than a kind and compassionate person who cares for their community and there are so many cautionary tales about this in media and yet *gestures at all of social media*

[csuitebitches]

On Getting Rid of Your Inferiority Complex

You can take advice from everyone and every book you read, but no one can protect you proactively, unless you choose to protect yourself. Only you can do that for yourself. Your parents, friends, partner can support you emotionally but you need to stop relying so much on external validation.

When you’re making a choice that you know is going to be detrimental to your health, whether its physical, mental or emotional - such as going back to your ex, not taking the next steps for your career/ education - you need to think more about your (near) future self and make sure that she’s also comfortable. You need to think long term.

As we grow up, we often encounter situations that we’ve been in before to some degree, there’s somewhat a pattern to them. It’s time to start recognising them early and leave when you see the red flags waving.

By breaking your own word that you’ve made to yourself you’re making the inferiority complex worse. Because you’re showing to your subconscious mind that you don’t matter at all. Others do.

It could be something “small” such as going out clubbing with your friends because you couldn’t say no - and having an important presentation due the next day. It could be something “big” such as breaking off a difficult relationship, and still going back to them.

When we suffer from an inferiority complex, we idolise people around us and think they’re better than us in every way. We choose to see the best in them- just the way we choose to see the worst in ourselves.

At some point, we have had enough and decide to start improving ourselves. How do we do this? By improving ourselves in areas that you feel left out in.

Such as, seeing an influencer live your dream life. Now you’ll do everything you can to live like her because you think that once you achieve that, everything will be great. You try to improve in areas that have no direct relation to your inferiority complex.

You’ll try work on these things - while that can be in a way good because it’s alright to have a dream life and motivation for it, that doesn’t fix the inferiority issue.

Because the inferiority issue solely comes from lack of confidence and trust in yourself. Even if you get your ideal life like that influencer, that confidence won’t last long and you’ll find something else to panic about - you’ll compare yourself to your peers, or the anxiety of jobs after or the next shiny thing you want.

To actually combat inferiority issues you HAVE to build a connection with yourself. True confidence will only come when you connect with yourself with things that aren’t material things.

You need to cultivate a growth mindset and genuinely believe that you WILL get better with time, you WILL get smarter with time, you will improve your talent over time. You have to detach yourself from outcomes, whether positive or negative and just take it as life.

And this doesn’t happen overnight. It takes consistent effort to not feel fomo anymore or feel shitty.

You have to stop hesitating putting yourself first, putting your emotional needs first, standing up for yourself and saying a big fuck you to things that deserve it.

Not everything that you have today will be permanent in your life and that’s something you have to come to terms with.

But if your worth is fully dependent on other people, then you really need to sit down with yourself and start actually working on the relationship that matters the most - the one with yourself.

You’re intimidated by these influencers or the people who you want to be like, not because they wear designer bags, have cool outfits, vacations, boyfriends, girlfriends - but because they often have a very strong sense of identity.

They express what they like and don’t like. They don’t change themselves depending on the person in front of them. If there’s something they want, they go and get it. They pursue what makes them happy.

When do you plan on doing that for yourself?

So how do you do it?

You need to build a strong sense of self identity.

How? By dating yourself. Ask yourself questions that you would ask someone on a first date. What are your answers? These answers will not remain the same over time and they shouldn’t either. Here are some as a guide:

1. What do you like in general?

2. What do you dislike in general?

3. List all the things you like about yourself

4. List all the things you can improve about yourself

5. Where would you ideally want to be in 2 years?

6. What sort of a life do you wish you had right now?

Next step is continue dating yourself. Aim for one new experience a week. It doesn’t have to be major. It could be something simple such as a cooking a meal you’ve never made, solving crossword puzzles, trying to grow herbs, colouring books. With new experiences, you learn something about yourself, which allows you further build a connection with yourself. Literally date yourself.

Take care of yourself the way you would care for a partner. How do you want to be cared for? What makes you feel loved and appreciated? Show yourself the same things too.

[bitimdrake]

why do you think tim agreed to be adopted if he doesn’t really see bruce as his father? is there anything parental happening in there??

He does! And he doesn't! And it is and isn't. It's a wonderfully messy thing!

To answer the first question first, there are a lot of reasons for Tim to be adopted no matter what. On the milder side, it's logistically convenient to have a guardian, and specifically to have one that is aware of and endorses his vigilantism.

But more than that, in the time after his dad died, Tim was in a very dark place. One of the things Tim does when in a dark place is self-isolate. He made up this whole fake uncle thing to stop Bruce from adopting him after the first offer, so that he could live completely on his own without being beholden to anyone. And that was bad for him! Self-isolating is bad for Tim!

So in that sense, accepting Bruce's second offer of adoption is a huge symbol that Tim is doing better. He (and Bruce and Dick) had the whole One Year Later cruise around the world to heal and improve, and Tim is less locked in grief now and willing to connect. And he shows this by accepting an offer of adoption from someone who loves him and choosing to live in a house with people he loves too. Hooray!

Because, no matter what, he does care about Bruce. And he cares about Alfred, who he independently had a close relationship with, and about Dick, who'd been calling Tim his little brother for years. (Dick and Alfred being the other members of the family at this point.)

So I don't think it really has to be father/son at all between Bruce and Tim for Tim to agree to be adopted, nor for it to be a good thing.

That said, I also don't think it's entirely not parental. I was being a little silly and flippant in that post, because I do think Bruce and Tim are weird about their vaguely defined relationship.

It is an absolutely key part of that relationship that, for ~4 years, Bruce and Tim were Batman and Robin, and worked closely together, and cared about each other, and were not father and son at all. Because Tim still had his own dad! Of course Bruce wasn't his dad! That would be just weird.

That doesn't mean there's nothing paternal to their relationship in the Robin years. Adult mentor/kid protege, sure there are absolutely angles here.

And it also doesn't mean they never became father and son after the adoption. A lot of this is based on vibes and personal interpretation! There's this story shortly after Tim's adoption where he puts a lot of effort into getting Bruce a perfect father's day gift. They do refer to each other as father/son periodically when talking to others.

My personal read on it is that Tim was very consciously trying to Be A Proper Family after the adoption, and adjust super fast. And I do think that by the point Bruce "dies" (or maybe at that point?), Tim sees him as more of a father.

(Also I think probably Tim is Bruce's son much more than Bruce is Tim's dad. Or at least sooner. Again, vibes.)

But I also don't think they necessarily need to be defined so sharply. They're never going to be like Jason and Bruce, who were father and son right away, or even Dick and Bruce, who were family and ward/guardian right away. They are always going to have known each other as non-family first. Which doesn't mean they aren't going to care about each other.

But I think it should mean they get to be little weirdos about how they do define their relationship when forced to.

[bunji-enthusiast]

Hi!! How have you been? Hopefully things are going smoothly on your end <3

Redeemed! Scourge being jealous 👀✨ the healthy kind of jelly since he's now redeemed <3 idea is it could be ANY characters you want and reader bonding, Scourge might feel a little awkward to interrupt but also slightly tempted?? ( Say he's trying to be better ) So he's just kinda debating what to do, prob leave them alone out of respect but acts slightly grumpy throughout the day, whatever happens next is up to you!

Ty and good luck <3

Jealous, Jealous Boy

Note || hello friend, this is such an interesting one. I hope this was okay! ^^

WC || 930

This feels weird, he knows he isn’t supposed to act like this.

Actually feel the way he does for that matter, but who’s counting? Scourge sure as hell ain’t. He didn’t want to feel so jealous. When he saw you talking with Tails, for whom he shouldn’t even feel jealous of – it put him in a rather complicated spot emotionally. So he deduced the next best thing possible, which was to leave the two of you alone out of respect. Disappearing is an easy act for Scourge, but for so many, shouldn’t even be something to be thought of in the first place.

“Huh?” You looked up from your paper, hearing Tails’ verbal confusion. You raised a brow right as you were about to inquire what he was so confused about. Immediately without question, the fox pointed to the spot where Scourge had once stood, seemingly was there with you in the first place as he had accompanied you to go see Tails.

“I’m surprised I didn’t expect him to disappear out of thin air.” He says, turning to look back at you. You shrug and sigh, knowing how Scourge was–in a way–his effort in trying to be better in social situations and cues was commendable. Rather you thought he was actually improving, but now you have no idea why he had gone away.

One could only assume he possibly had personal business to attend to, yet many thoughts and possibilities had raced through your mind.

“Scourge is still a bit on edge,” You mention, a wince crossing your face as you continued, “All things considered with his history with you and the others.” He nods in understanding as he listens to your words, the young boy was none the wiser to such things; Tails could only hope Scourge will be able to forgive himself soon, as the fox already did.

But for once, he didn’t want to worry about the rebellious hedgehog. If he could even be called such a thing, but it felt correct — Less than so, but it was there in a sense. Scourge is and was kinder in the loosest sense of the word, it's even refreshing compared to his less developed sense of self before. Tails was rather surprised to see how much you managed to change him, just shows how much people and strangers alike can really change you depending on who you surround yourself with.

Tails knew, in a way. The situation with his father, he had only mentioned it in passing. He is unsure—besides you—if any of the others knew.

His paw reaches out to your arm, settling down upon it to prevent you from walking away. “You should take a break, I’ve got all the data I need.” He smiles, nodding at you reassuringly. He didn’t want you to fuss over the work he should’ve gotten done by himself in the first place, but he much rather preferred if you stuck with Scourge.

Tails can tell that you need it.

He needs it.

You frown for a moment, opening your mouth to refute his words. But the look on his face, had changed your mind. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer anyway, you could respect that fact. Tails can be rather fierce when needed to be, these were one of those moments.

Sometime later, you finally caught up with Scourge finding him at one of his usual spots. Uphill on a vastly different location from Tails’ Workshop. You wondered what he was thinking about.

“Hey.” You said with a softer tone, as you didn’t want to startle your hot-tempered… friend? You weren’t sure what to call him officially right now. Scourge scoffs, looking over at you to see you looming aside directly from him. The look in his eyes was one you didn’t expect, especially not in the long-run anyway. He shifted in his spot, shuffling aside to make room for you.

“Hm,” He sighs, deflating in place as you had laid your head against his shoulder. Scourge wasn’t against it, rather unexpected, but he could sense the touch as a safe one.

He could rest.

The location was Station Square, rather calm and bustling for the most part; but it was peaceful, quiet. Aside from all the sobering noise, you could tell the people and the city itself was very reassuring for Scourge.

“You were not there anymore.” You break the silence, finding it quite awkward for a moment as Scourge seemed to be surprised at the momentary notion. “Why?”

Scourge’s lips pursed, then curled into a frown, teeth sharpening and revealing themselves. His emotion was getting the better of him again. Slowly, he breathed in and out. One of the common and basic exercises he learned while he was in therapy. It wasn’t entirely helpful or clear, but it allowed him to focus — settle the nerves.

“Ain’t none of ya business.” He retorts finally, but his bite was there. At least that was a sure-fire thing of the situation you felt was unsettled, not anymore now however. You paused in the silence that followed, it seemed to be happening very often as of late.

“Believe me when I’m here for you, no need to feel sorry for emotions that are normal to feel.” You said, nuzzling your cheek into his own. Scourge flinched, then relaxed into your touch.

It was a while, but it was reassuring to Scourge.

Feelings were a fickle thing.

The jealousy waned and your heart was filled with the calm that had stirred Scourge to a sense of peace and relief.

“Thanks.”

[eluxcastar]

The little brotherfication of Capitano

── ୨୧：il capitano & reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: the sillies being silly and also

୨୧﹑genre :: fluff

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, child capitano, reader is as usual implied to be a few years older, reader can be seen as kind of an asshole, this is actually kinda sad toward the end, also capitano is human sorry 😔

୨୧﹑words :: 1.4k

ok this one I thought about and was like "this one. cute." Idk whether to do Signora or Dottore next (could be another one too)

all little siblingification posts

Capitano's fondest memories come mostly from you agreeing to teach him things you shouldn't. Running off into a part of the woods far enough away nobody will see or hear and finding a clearing to teach him how to use a sword. Should you have been doing it? Absolutely not, and especially not so far from your house, but his only exposure to fighting can't be hunting forever.

You started slow with him, cautious. You probably didn't expect him to pick it up as well as he did, because you weren't putting that much effort in at first. You taught him proper form and how to swing it but not much else. There was no technique until he ran around bothering you enough times you got tired of shoving him off.

Unknowingly, you had ignited quite a passion within him.

You were much better than he was, able to maneuver and adapt to your opponent, solely because you had to experience to do so. You were no longer worrying about things like form or how you held your sword. They were memory to you while he was still having to focus to get it all right.

At first Capitano was embarrassed by your corrections, but they became pointers of where to improve and he decided instead to treat them like homework every time you'd reach around from behind him and adjust him a little, shuffle his hands a bit and fix his posture, finally tilting his head back to tell him to focus.

He focused so hard, to impress you and persuade you to come back instead of leaving him to practice alone until he irritated you enough about it to make you give in.

Did he enjoy doing that? No. You'd shoved him so many times he'd memorised what hitting the floor felt like. Capitano was desperate, however, to have something he could do with you. He idolised you so much, and finally he was getting your attention and favour. You were so busy and perhaps cared a bit more for people your age than your little brother who was immature and reminded you of your younger self but you were paying attention and that was what mattered to him.

Strangely Capitano didn't mind every time he hit the ground this time.

At the end of it all you would sit Capitano down and clean any nick and cuts he'd gotten whether from your recklessness of his unsteady way of handling that sword. He was not to move, or tell your parents unless he didn't want to receive another lesson.

You couldn't teach him as well in the winter, too busy with all the extra chores, but you did take him hunting. You never quite coddled him as much as he might've liked, but you took him to do something fun and spoke to him instead of running off to do it yourself. The only problem was that Capitano never actually got to do anything.

Animals don't linger for the winter, and unwilling to let him and everyone else in the family go hungry, you didn't want him trying. This wasn't a teachable moment. It was time to get food when there was not an abundance of it. Even if all you could get were birds, that was ok. Birds were still something to eat so that he didn't go hungry in your mind.

Ice fishing was the other option, and he was better at that, even when he was young. You'd walk him out to the lake, frozen over and carve out the hole for him to sit and fish in. If Capitano complained enough about the cold, you might lend him your coat and let him sit a little closer. If you got cold, you'd ignore it, but he was smaller and more fragile. He needed those fingers of his to fish and hunt, so losing them to hypothermia was not an option. Maybe that was how you justified letting him sit in your lap while you encased his smaller hand in your own to warm him as much as you could. It wasn't much, but the intention of it all made him giddy.

Of course, when he got overexcited as a result and tried to get you to carry him back, he was hit with a whiplash as you told him to walk. He should've expected that, though.

You collapsing into bed the second all work was done and sleeping like a baby for the next three hours despite it still being afternoon probably should've given away that he didn't work as much as you. Winter was always too busy for you, and he never fully registered that at the time, only thinking he should wait impatiently.

Your mother asking him to check on you once or twice probably wasn't helping, as he'd always find you just as asleep as he left you. You never covered yourself with the blankets, though. There was no way you were hot, but maybe you were just that exhausted. Regardless, he would always climb onto your bed to fix the blankets for you and cover you up so that you wouldn't wake up from the cold.

Every time he'd tell you it was him who did it to make sure you were warm, he'd get a hug and a pat on the back.

He better not find his way into your bed, though, not unless you were already awake when he climbed in and asked you first. Otherwise, Capitano would wake up cold and on the floor. It wasn't uncommon for him to try to convince you by saying the two of you should pile all of your blankets together and share a bed. He was hardly subtle about the fact he just didn't want to sleep alone and sometimes even got scared when he did.

It was so strange to you when he up and decided he was joining the Fatui one day. Maybe he thought you would be proud or something. You definitely weren't. The exact words you said were something along the lines of how he wouldn't get far because they don't want pansies and wimps among their ranks. Capitano was neither of those things, and it stung a little, at least until it took him all of five minutes to realise you didn't want him to leave.

Of course you didn't, even though he got massively upset at the time. He'd been seeking your approval for years, it was no wonder why.

But in a way, it makes sense. Everything you did, as much as Capitano may not have liked it then, was ultimately because you wanted to protect him in a way that would allow him to protect himself eventually. You never wanted to coddle him too much but guided him and had a shocking amount of patience for his incessant whining and pestering. This was not part of that, letting him wander off to a place you couldn't teach him at a time you thought he wasn't ready.

How would you sit him down by the river and rinse his wounds before walking him home to clean them properly? You hadn't taught him that yet. His food? How would he align his bow perfectly if all he'd done for months was sword practice? Did he even know what it was like outside of your little world?

You were worried for him greatly, understandably, and that was not the kind of reaction he wanted. He wanted you to smile because you thought he was ready, but you didn't, and you might never.

Of course you would show it in that same crass way you always did.

Of course you would beg him, now tall enough to have to look down at you, not to go. The only time he has ever made you cry, as he was always curious if you did, was when you were faced with the prospect of your baby brother possibly getting in over his head and endangering himself with his ambition. He realised then that was what you really wanted, for him to be safe, and he cried with you.

Mind made up, Capitano wanted you to take care of yourself for a while without worrying about him. All he could do was assure you that he would be fine. Eventually, he would make you proud.

CROSSPOSTED ON AO3

[remotepixel]

Hi, how would yandere avengers react if their platonic teen obsession threatens to disclose their yandere tendencies or has actually done so to the media?

Hii, thank you for requesting!!

Tw: yandere themes + kidnapping mentions

-I’m assuming this is somewhat far into the obsession, enough where it’s obvious to you that something is very wrong, but not to the ‘they’ve gone completely off the rails and everyone can tell’ point.

-Getting the evidence would already be pretty hard. Sure, you have the obvious fact they’re always hanging around you, but, they’re superheroes, people are naturally going to support their side unless you have enough proof (or, sometimes, no matter what).

-Any clear red flag (e.g. trackers) would be specially manufactured by a world-renowned genius, so a casual police search likely wouldn’t find anything, and it’d be pretty nerve-wracking to try and record a conversation with a superspy.

-However, if you do collect enough, it still wouldn’t be easy to get rid of them.

-If you threaten them, the amount of guilt-tripping would be mental. Some of them are more self-aware than others, but all of them share the same sentiment that, at the end of the day, they’re (or, think they are) helping you. They know some of their behaviour crosses normal lines, but look how much your life has improved since they’ve been around, isn’t it a good thing someone cares about you?

-All of them would be hurt by your threat, and likely back off at least for a while if you strike some sort of deal (e.g. you leave me alone, I won’t tell). But they’ll be back, or still lurking around in parts of your life.

-I think members like Natasha and Bruce, who are more self-aware yet never speak out against the more delusional ones (since they’re still working together at the end of the day), would back off the most. They don’t want you hating them even more, and, currently, your relationship is on a thin line - it’s better to back off and subtly guide you back to them then force it.

-None of them fully take your threat seriously, even if it hurts their feelings. They know they have the upper hand here: government links, popularity, influence - you’re completely out of your depths even if you think, or act, otherwise.

-If you’re still very consistent on disclosing everything to the media despite their efforts to chill, you’re likely getting kidnapped. Drastic, obviously, but it’s the only way to guarantee you’re both in their grasp and others aren’t concerned.

-If you already disclosed it however, the methods you used to go through with it play a big role in the outcome.

-As I mentioned, there’s probably trackers in your phone, both for location and general monitoring, e.g. a keylogger. The second you post your blog, or send your email to the news, it’s getting deleted and completely wiped if possible. In this case, it’s probably going to follow the same route as before, but with extra emotional pain because you didn’t even “try talking” to them.

-If you focus more on meeting up with reporters in real-life, maybe getting them to collect their own evidence in the background, there’s a higher chance of success. However, that does require having insiders in a hopefully-popular newspaper company, something a teen probably wouldn’t have.

-Assuming the avengers haven’t noticed the news coming out about them, for at least enough time that citizens are able to read and share this, panic would ensue the second they realise.

-They would experience a range of emotions, most mentioned above but some would also hold a bit of rage (not necessarily at you, your actions more so). They have one, very obvious thing they need to do now though: address the ‘rumours’.

-Deleting the reports would raise more suspicions, and they can’t just admit everything the news is saying is technically true, so they decide to try and twist this into their favour. They’ll (mainly Tony as he’s probably dealt with this sort of thing before) make up some sort of story that puts you into the wrong - like you’re lying for attention or were trying to purposely ruin their reputation for petty revenge.

-If they’re feeling really nice they may try and chalk it up as a misunderstanding, but I think it depends who has a role in writing the response. For example, Steve would think it’s slightly too far, while Tony would just think of it as a necessary outcome - he also just doesn’t like listening to Steve’s advice so.

-You become a pretty big talk in the media, but, when people start believing the avenger’s side, it’s mostly snide comments or dragging your name through the mud. The avengers would probably feel bad for the amount of slander you’re getting, assuming they didn’t before, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they deleted a few, just plain evil comments. But you forced their hand, if you haven’t had ‘lied’ in the first place, this would have never happened.

-In a way, this may just bring you closer to them. With what feels like the whole world against you, the only people who really seem to care anymore are the avengers. They might even offer you a deal - you admit you were lying to the media, apologize, and they’ll publicly support you. Sure, it won’t get everyone off your back, and you’re be scared to even go outside in case reporters are there, but it means you have the most powerful team in your corner again, and isn’t that what you need?

[b1acksh33p999]

June 2024 Horoscopes 🔮

🔥Aries: “Simply taking care of business.”

This month is going to allow your ambitions and strong work ethic to shine! With the moon starting in 0° Aries while touching mars in a soft conjunction, this energy will allow your emotions to drive your ambitions. Many Aries will find more enjoyment in their work and planning abilities, while receiving consistent positive feedback for their efforts. A special highlight for Aries will come on June 6th- during the new moon in Gemini, this day will put a heavy focus on matters of communication and in some cases can completely redirect Aries in how they express their leadership abilities to others. My advice to you this month is to ensure you have your ego in check while embracing your power in all matters where you lead, otherwise you may encounter some unfortunate events of miscommunication, or misunderstandings with those people closest to Aries. Lead by example, and take care of business!

🏔️Taurus: “It’s time to explore a new avenue!”

This month is going to push Taurus to try new things, and allow them the ability to view their current problems from a new perspective! With mars in conjunction with your Sun sign on the full moon on June 21st-this will be a major turning point in the current interests and perspectives that Taurus hold for themselves, especially with the end of the month’s transit moon falling in the exact same degree as mars was on during the full moon; 9° Taurus. My advice to you this month is to keep your mind open for new ways to express your current talents, and keep your eyes peeled for epiphanies and changes that would improve your self-worth. The universe is sending Taurus an abundance of energy at the end of the month to make the changes they need to level up their lives in ways that would dramatically improve their quality of life. It’s time to stop limiting yourself, and remove any doubt preventing you from embracing the happiness you deserve!

🌬️Gemini: “It’s a whole new world, so get ready to explore!”

This month is a huge turning point for Gemini’s! Many Gemini’s may find themselves ending old relationships, starting new ones, or even experiencing a change in residency. With the new moon in Gemini on June 6th, the universe is challenging Gemini to evolve past their previous limitations in areas of love, career, and most importantly to remove doubts that prevent them from taking necessary risks for further growth. Any Gemini placements will feel the pressure to rid themselves of the past version of themselves, and reintroduce themselves as the mutable people person they’ve always been. My advice to Gemini this month is to reevaluate the issues they had with reputation, being wronged, or lies that may still hold them back emotionally. This month is meant to bust open your emotional state and allow you to release the words about you that were never yours to begin with. By the end of the month, Jupiter in conjunction with your Sun sign will help provide an abundance of new information and opportunities to validate the changes they’ve made in their lives. Any growth that’s needed for Gemini to actually let go of the past will be most effectively dealt with in the first week of June. Get ready for a whole new world!

🌊Cancer: “Creating stability in the watery elements”

This month is going to amplify the nostalgic feelings of a much earlier time in your life. With the full moon on June 21st lighting up for cancer’s this month, all of the situations presenting are simply allowing you to respond as your more knowledgeable self. Some cancer’s may find themselves in situations, places, or surrounded by people that trigger unresolved past karmic pain; testing old behavioral reactions to ensure that Cancer is capable of practicing what they’ve learned. My advice to you this month is to dig deep and stand your ground in the sometimes-tumultuous waters, and never disempower yourself or step back in growth for others. Allow yourself to believe that you are knowledgeable enough to overcome your previous mistakes!

🔥Leo: “It’s finally your turn to relax and heal.”

This month is going to start off with a very refreshing energy for Leo! With help from the transit moon in trine to your natal sun sign, most Leo’s will feel heavily optimistic towards the future; most may not know exactly why they feel this way. The Full moon on June 21st will solidify Vesta’s shift into Leo. Vestas influence will aid in Leo’s recovery in all forms. Any form of self-nurturing, or motherhood will be a blessing in disguise during this 4-month long transit. My advice to you this month is to enjoy the little moments, and memories both that are made now and that will come in the future. This is the best way to keep a positive perspective, and stay in the moment. It’s finally your turn to heal!

🏔️Virgo: “The gig is up.”

With the months starting transits pressing on your need to tie up loose ends, this energy will push on Virgo to find the momentum needed to break free of bad habits or unresolved limiting behaviors. The blessing in disguise for Virgo will come with the changes associated around the full moon on June 21st. With the full moon degreescrossing each other in 1°- this Aries ruled energy will force change in anything preventing stability in both physical stability, and emotional stability; even if it must come in forms that feel harsh or unwarranted. My advice to you this month is to get organized! The more closely you look into the details, while maintaining control of your stability, the more you will bring once in a lifetime abundance gifts, and opportunities. Any outdated behaviors that lead to narrow minded thinking or self-limiting beliefs must be shed in the first few days of the month. Otherwise, this will lead to more harsh displays in order for Virgo to finally learn their lesson. The beauty and abundance that comes with self-empowerment instead of self-limiting is where the universe is guiding Virgo to explore. The gift of knowledge through experience is a priceless quality associated with Gemini, and typically counters Virgo’s sometimes stubborn nature. Allow yourself to shift into empowerment, and learn to go with the flow!

🌬️Libra: “Embracing your power and independence is crucial for upward mobility.”

With June’s transit moon starting off in opposition to your Sun sign this will strengthen the importance of the events throughout the month. This volatile and sometimes challenging energy can be used as a catapult towards success for Libra placements if they really commit to the growth associated with the success they seek. My advice to you this month is to embody the positive changes that you aspire to attain, as if you already have them. This will help fast track manifestations, while helping maintain focus on your direction. Embracing your power and independence is crucial to upward mobility!

🌊Scorpio: “I navigate obstacles and transform.”

This month is going to give you the time to reflect on how you learned to persevere through obstacles and gain transformative insight into life’s hardest lessons. With Pallas in Scorpio retrograding the entire month, this may be associated with major moments, or crucial transitions in your life, putting a focus on your intuitive and inspiring nature for those around you. The full moon on the 21st will be the peak for natural celebratory energies, and mood towards the future. My advice to you this month is to ensure that your mysterious and inquisitive nature is being used to help guide others through what you’ve been forced to learn from life experience. The blessings that will come with seeing how healing your words of affirmation can be will help heal your past traumas of going unnoticed. Get used to standing out as a mentor, because you’re meant to guide!

🔥Sagittarius: “Not all who wander are lost, but those who are lost will always find their way back home.”

This month is going to push Sagittarius into a more emotional, and comforting period. With the complementary energies in the beginning of the month, and the strong aspect of 9° on the full moon June 21st; this month will start out and finish out incredibly eye opening for Sagittarius placements. Whatever themes present now will only be pushed into focus by the emotive security that will come with this full moon. Many Sagittarius’s may notice they are breaking generational curses or habits and will finally get rewarded or acknowledged for their efforts. My advice to you this month is to focus on relearning the things that held you back, and share your wisdom from breaking these generational curses by passing on the best fit for what behavior or lesson you believe is best. Knowledge is power!

🏔️Capricorn: “Allow yourself to receive the blessings from your hard work and dedication.”

With the full moon this month honing the focus on emotional matters and hidden motives, this month is going to set you up to reap the rewards from all of your hard work! A highlight for Capricorn this month falls between the full moon June 21st, and Saturn retrograde starting on June 29th. With your ruling planet changing direction, Capricorn placements will all notice a huge shift in their assets, career matters, and money matters overall! Anything that was left holding Capricorn back in the previous month will finally be shed from the past and let go from the subconscious identity. My advice to you is to keep your focus on what you desire to expand at this time, and keep putting in the hard work that’s gotten you this far. The fruits of your labor will be rewarded soon!

🌬️Aquarius: “Keep your mouth shut and observe what’s happening around you.”

With the month’s transit Sun sign degree starting off in an Aquarius degree, 11° Gemini, this will amplify the need for interpersonal hands-on learning. For some Aquarius placements this may feel repetitive or pointless, however this is simply because the lessons surrounding the energy presented will come naturally to Aquarius placements. My advice to you this month is to be of service to those who are having a hard time understanding the lessons that are required for them to digest during this time. Whether it be to act as a guide for others, or to stand back and keep your mouth shut; your reaction and affiliation with the people around you matter desperately. As we approach the full moon, Aquarius’s may find themselves growing impatient with those around them. Do not let others naivety bring you down. Allow yourself to guide others, selflessly; to receive that same consideration from those you helped later in the year. Just because you already mastered this lesson doesn’t mean you’re done learning!

🌊Pisces: “Be ready to receive tests and opportunities to add bountiful changes to your everyday life.”

With this month’s heavy focus on Pisces evolving their everyday lives through hard work and following their intuition, the Saturn retrograde starting on June 29th will be a defining moment for all Pisces placements to begin reaping the true fruits of their labor from the past year’s efforts. With this 5 month long retrograde window, Pisces placements will start receiving major shifts in opportunities or blessings. Some in which they have lost faith in receiving. My advice to you this month is to hold on to that positive outlook that has gotten you this far, and do not doubt what is already meant to be yours. Any tests now will simply precede the blessings meant for you!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Azul, Jack: An Honest Effort

The first thought I had about the Groovy is… MAN’S BARELY OFF THE GROUND (as expected). I imagine that Azul aggressively insisted to the photographer they should lie on the ground to get a high angle shot of him on the broom just to give the false impression of him being higher up than he actually is.

I wanted to write about Azul coming to terms with accepting who he was, as well as shed a light on how hardworking he is. He didn’t just take the easy way out, he actually worked his ass off in all that he does. There’s many instances of Azul going above and beyond go improve, even for things he sucks in or for inconsequential things (flying in his P.E. Uniform vignette, rolling the dice in his School Uniform vignette). He deserves recognition for that.

A Boy in Bloom, and his Flowering Future.

“What do you do on your days off?”

“I don’t much like to be idle. Time is money, and I would prefer to not waste either,” Azul expelled a breath. “If you must consider it a ‘day off’, then... I wake up early, prepare myself a drink, and peruse the papers. When there is no work to be done, it’s all about self-maintenance.”

“I agree it’s important to take care of yourself, but... You’re basically still working at that point.”

“You could put it that way, yes. However, sharpening one’s mind is not just busywork. It’s also like a kind of training to strengthen the brain, similar to how one would train to strengthen their muscles.”

“Now that, I get.” Jack nodded. “There’s nothing like the burn after a good, honest workout.”

At this, Azul winced. “I fail to see the appeal of such a thing. It’s hardly a sensation that I’d call pleasant. However, I suppose it can be nice to physically feel the results of rigorous effort.”

“You should try it sometime then. You’d appreciate training the muscles if you worked up a sweat yourself.”

“... I do.”

The effect on Jack was immediate. The beastman’s eyes popped, jaw hanging open and fur standing on end.

“HUH?! Azul-senpai, you... train?! Seriously? I never thought I’d hear the word from your mouth!”

“Yes,” Azul replied, bristling. His voice was set in frost. “Is that really so difficult to believe?”

“It’s just--” Jack stopped himself and reconsidered. “You’re not the type of person I picture doing that kind of thing.”

“What does it matter if I am or not? Anyone is capable of exercise, and it is well within my right to do so.”

“Er… yeah, you’re right.” The shock quickly turned to shame, and Jack’s ears flattened, tail dropping. “Sorry. I got caught up in the moment and said something careless.”

“As your benevolent upperclassman, I will overlook your transgression and accept your apology made in earnest.”

Jack gave a small smile. “So tell me more about your training. What kind of exercises do you do? What made you want to start?”

“I try to work a little of everything to ensure that my body is evenly toned. As for what motivated me to begin… I suppose you could say that I was, in your own words, looking for a ‘good, honest workout’.”

“But unlike me, you’re not in an athletic club. You don’t like P.E. class either. When you talked about it earlier, it didn’t sound like you enjoyed training. I don’t think you’d go out of your way to do it for fun.” Jack folded his arms and furrowed his brows. “If you only wanted to get stronger, wouldn’t it be easier for you to make a deal and take someone’s strength?”

“Is that truly what you think of me?” Azul frowned. “You miss the point. What use is it to steal what you desire most rather than earn it for yourself? Would I really be able to call those traits my own? There is no pride to be had in that.”

“You didn’t have an issue with it before winter break.”

“Well…” A complicated look clouded the birthday boy’s features. “I was a different person then. Those things don’t have the same value as they once did. They’ve depreciated.”

In spite of the coldness of his words—the pointed truth of them—there, too, was a soft sadness slipping past his lips. Acknowledgement, and painful sympathy.

Azul was looking at Jack, but not clearly seeing him. His eyes seemed to be trained on something else, someone else, far off in the distance.

A sad little boy curled up in a pot, clouds of inky black tears coloring the water.

“… I was a different person then,” Azul repeated, this time more firmly. “I endeavor to be someone worthy of admiration through my own efforts. If I can be satisfied with my abilities, then it will steer me from walking along that dark path again.

“Be it flying, strength, or luck of the draw… I have always been aware of those shortcomings, in life, but what good comes out of it were I to stop there? What good comes from wallowing in doubt? That is why I will make something for myself, and why I must find my own strength through honest effort.”

I will accept the past and use it to guide me to the future. The “me” I wasn’t able to accept then… Someday, I will become strong enough to embrace him.

Jack stared at him hard. “Are you being honest with me?”

Azul chuckled faintly. “Why wouldn’t I be? What would I hope to possibly gain by deceiving you about my personal ambitions?”

“Towards the end, it didn’t sound like you were…” Jack paused, cocking his head to one side. “Are you even still talking about your Overblot anymore?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I was referring to that incident. What else would I be talking about?”

“You’re dodging the question again,” Jack sighed. “It’s good that you’re motivated to keep up that training though. With that kind of attitude, I’m sure you can reach the heights you’re dreaming of.”

“Urk! Must you phrase it like that?” He hurriedly glanced away, mumbling to himself under his breath. “And here I was, so carefully redirecting the conversation away from that!”

“Heh.” Jack allowed himself a smirk. “So even Azul-senpai has this kind of side to him, huh…”

“Wh-What side?!”

“You know, like a point of weakness. Vulnerable. Kind of squish—”

“AHHHH, DON’T SAY ITTTT!!” Azul pleaded, his volume and pitch spiking into a loud whine.

Jack deadpanned. “Yup. There it is, the squishiness.”

“A-Ahhhh… You went and said it anyway…” the birthday boy groaned, a hand to his forehead. He took a deep gulp of air and slowly exhaled. “… Excuse me, forget you heard that.”

“Why? Isn’t it good to be aware of your weaknesses? That way, you can find strength from them.”

Azul warily eyed him. “You’ve got some bite in you after all.”

“You keep me on my toes. Wouldn’t want you catching me off-guard someday.”

“My, I’m honored to hear that. I’ll have to work hard to keep up with that strong moral character of yours.”

“Good luck. You can work on that along with the muscles. Maybe I’ll see you at the gym or on the field sometime. Until then… show me what you’ve got.” Jack nodded at Azul’s broom.

“Hmph, very well. Prepare for me to deft your expectations, and bear witness to the fruits of my labor!!”

The merman mounted his broom, tensely straddling the handle between both legs. It was a posture he has practiced for hours on end—perfected and polished like a mirror, if not a little too stiff.

The moonlit air around him heated with magical energy, sparkles flickering among the flowers. Very slowly, his bouquet—and his feet—lifted from the ground.

And…

… Azul sluggishly chugged forward, only a few centimeters off of the ground.

“Uh… good job? … I think.” Jack searched for a compliment. “It definitely ‘defied’ my expectations like you said it would.”

Azul flushed.

“… N-Not a word of this to anyone, Jack-san!!” He sputtered back. “Solemnly swear to me that you will not share this with a single soul!!”

[vi-trying-to-survive]

Hey, I know you have finals right now (wishing you the best on those, I know you’ve got this!!) but I just thought I would make a request before I forgot about it lol. Obviously, it’s a Stephen Strange x female reader fic because I love him <3 Maybe one where it’s almost Christmas time but that’s not necessarily important I just love the winter lol. But the main part of the story is that they are playing Mario Kart extremely early in the morning (aka they still have their pajamas on, which is the best way to play Mario Kart) and both of them are competitive but in a friendly and loving way?? And some super cute and fluffy ending that I’ll let you decide because I can’t think of one and I trust you entirely :) anyways, hope all is well and that you do well on your exams!!!

Stephen Strange x f!Reader

Summary: Stephen and Y/N keeping up with Christmas traditions (basically what it says in the request :) )

Warnings: None, just fluff :))))))

A/N: Hope you guys like it !! I'm sorry I've basically been MIA also though, but I'm trying to write more now :')))) Also if you have any ideas or think I could improve my writing in anyway do let me know :)

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(Y/N) groaned as the sunshine streamed through the windows, caressing her face, willing her to wake up, as she tried to fight it, stuffing her face into the fluffy pillows, but eventually failing and flipping over, granted there was not much effort to it. Blinking her eyes, she rubbed slightly with the base of her palm, trying to get rid of the sleep that had formed as they focused on the room that surrounded her, the blurred edges becoming sharper and more visible. She yawned deeply, stretching her arms out a little, before leaning back into the mattress, soft and springy, sinking into the warm embrace of the man that held her comfortably, somehow still in deep sleep, inhaling the familiar scent of pine wood and spice that always stuck to him. Feeling him stir a little at her movements, she was quick to lace her fingers in his dark locks, gently brushing through any tangles, slowly lulling back to sleep. Turning her body to face his she couldn't help but admire him, so at peace when he slept, the lines along his face relaxed and almost non-existent, lips parted ever so slightly, as his chest rose up and down calmly. She found herself smiling affectionately at the sight of him, knowing that it had always been hard for the man to relax, first neurosurgery then the mystic arts and now a protector of the multiverse, he never seemed to be able to give himself a break, at least until her was asleep, it was like seeing an entirely new side of Stephen so relaxed and nonchalant. She wished that he would give himself that more often, for his own sake, but he never listened, always putting the world before himself, honourable but relatively self-destructive, so she figured the least she could do was let him sleep in for another hour or so, and it wasn't like they had any pressing matters to attend to.

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"Honey, hurry up already or I'm going to start it without you", she called tauntingly, waving the multi-coloured controllers in the air, not needing to turn around to imagine the exasperated look on his face.

"Oh my- Would you stop I am getting food for you and me", he frowned, tapping his foot impatiently, almost spilling the milk over the edge of the bowl. He was usually against cereal, claiming that it's not a food for an adult, but there were exceptions. Capping the carton swiftly, he balanced the two matching bowls and mugs unsystematically in his arms, nearly letting everything fall over in his hurry to reach her.

She could only grin in delight as she started counting backwards, "Three, two-", knowing how much it annoyed him, which was only confirmed by groan as he got closer to her spot on the couch.

"Okay, stop", he huffed out, freeing his arms as he placed the food on the coffee table, plopping down and grabbing his controller out of her hold, "I'm here".

"Just in time", she teased, waggling her finger at him in a disappointed manner, before shovelling a spoon-full of the probably unhealthy sugary cereal into her mouth, savouring the tooth-rotting taste and adjusting her grip around the controller.

He rolled his eyes, running a hand through his dark locks as he leaned back onto the plush velvet pillows that were splayed along the seat, "Yeah, yeah, just start the game and then we'll see who's talking".

"If you say so ?", she sang out, confidently hitting start, unable to help the way her smile grew wider as the familiar music rang out, almost bursting in excitement.

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He bit his lip hard, unable to feel it as his heart raced with adrenaline, whispering under his breath, "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon", his fingers flying along the controls, gaze fixated on the bright colours on the screen, before it all went blank and revealed the scoreboard. He fell face-flat onto the fluffy pillow, partly hoping to suffocate himself so he wouldn't be able to feel the embarrassment that he did now. How was it that he Stephen Strange, neurosurgeon and master of the mystic arts, was unable to ever beat his fiancé at Mario Cart.

"Ahahahaha, YES", jumping up and down on the couch cushions, she caused him to shake around with her, as she waved her arms in air, performing a terrible victory dance, exclaiming, "I am triumphant once again". On another day, he probably would've made fun of her for it but at the time he was wallowing in too much self pity for that.

He sat up, swiping a palm across his face contorted in confusion, "I never understand, you always win at the last second".

"It's called being the queen of Mario Cart", she smirked, giving him an affectionate poke on the arm, to which she got no response but a pout from the sorcerer, which was pretty uncharacteristic from the man who always needed the last word.

She shook her head, chuckling as she moved closer to him bumping her shoulder against his and letting her head drop onto his shoulder, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck, "Awwwww, are you upset". She placed a soft kiss on his skin, the heat radiating off him warming up her lips, hoping to get an answer, and yet he still kept to his pact of silence.

"You are such a big baby", she huffed crossing her arms, slinking down onto the side of the armrest, glaring at him.

A sudden thought came to her mind and she grinned maliciously at him, which he took no notice of, "If you won't talk to me I guess I just have to use extreme measures", before raising her fingers to his sides, tickling aggressively, breaking his stoic manner as he burst into laughter. She moved closer to him, to get a better angle at tickling, causing tears to brim at his eyes and her to giggle along with him.

"Okay, fine you win, just stop", he managed to admit defeatedly even with his hard laughter, raising his arms in the air, like waving a white flag at her, pulling her into his lap, still smiling, "I love you". He rested his hands gently on her waist, fiddling with the hem of her sweater, humming softly as her fingers twirled around the strands of hair on the back of his neck, watching her lovingly , before pressing her closer to him, joining their lips for a sweet kiss.

Pulling away, she nestled herself comfortably in his hold, enjoying his warmth, whispering "I love you too", as she pecked his cheek affectionately.

[stranger-rants]

Billy hating his father is about self preservation, and I say this from personal experience. When I say hate, I mean that it presents more as indifference but it is born from a hatred for the things this person has put you through. To show any kind of affection or love for this person is to allow this person to hurt you more than they already have because inevitably they will take everything and give you nothing in return.

Maybe his father does something useful for him once in a while and maybe that makes Billy think he can trust his father to have his best interest at heart for half a second, but that's a lie. His father will betray him over and over and it is better for Billy to accept the "help" when he gets it but not let his guard down for a single moment. To maintain an emotional distance from his father is to protect himself from the impact of his abuse.

If Billy slips up and thinks things could be different, he will get hurt because his father displays no real interest in improving their relationship. His abuser is not motivated to change because he views Billy and Billy's emotions as problematic, and he has spent most of Billy's life trying to mold and manipulate Billy into being who he wants him to be. He wants Billy to be compliant. Any kindness he shows to Billy is to make him compliant.

Billy is different from his father in that he feels shame and guilt. He is reactive to situations whereas his father shows a level of control over his emotions that makes his anger and violence seem planned. He sets up his son for failure and Billy gets baited over and over because he's young and he's in fight or flight mode. His father cares about appearances whereas Billy is fighting against everything that his father stands for, conscious of it or not.

I don't buy into the narrative that everything is so cyclical that Neil had his own Neil and they're all just products of one another and that Billy is destined to be just like him if he doesn't turn things around. My own father is a product of entitlement and praise and he will always choose himself over everyone else because that is what he's experienced his entire life. Hating him protects me from disappointment, and reminds me to be better than him.

So, I am okay with Billy hating Neil - I don't think it has to manifest in wanting anything bad to directly happen to his abuser. I think it likely manifests in Billy being okay with never seeing him again. I think it manifests in Billy being okay with not thinking of Neil as his father because he doesn't act like a father should. I think it manifests in him not letting Neil into his life no matter how much Neil "changes" because those changes are not for him.

I have made significant efforts to repair my relationship with my father but while he can act like he's a different person to other people, he is still the selfish manipulative bastard who cheats on my mother and lies about his accomplishments with his inflated ego - the same person who wont admit the multiple times he had endangered my life and once almost killed me, only to say "I don't know why they won't talk to me" the very next day.

Hating my father is therapeutic to me, and I want people to understand that it doesn't mean that this hatred rules over my life or makes me miserable and I want people to understand that it doesn't mean I have any ill will towards my father. It means that I have cut myself off emotionally from this person because they don't deserve any more attention than I am willing to give and I am giving myself the permission not to care about them.

Billy should absolutely have the permission not to care about Neil. The fact that Billy does at some point try to reason with his father and placate his emotions says that a part of him still cares even if it's just to survive Neil's outbursts. But. Billy should have been given the opportunity to leave that man behind and never care about him again. Neil should have had to deal with his absence in that way, not Billy being taken from him by death.

[writingjourney]

I want to write, and I did a little bit when I first the fandom of Ghost a few months back. But I quickly resolved back to thinking I'm not good enough for anyone to like it and people don't even care. I know the best way is to write for myself but I depend on validation. And I don't have any range to even be seen by anyone. I know I have to put myself out there but it's so difficult when you're afraid of the world out there. :(

I feel you anon, it IS difficult to put yourself out there, to build and maintain a presence online – especially if you're dealing with things like social anxiety and self-doubt. You have to ignore your mean inner voice A LOT and convince yourself not to delete that fic, not to talk yourself down constantly, not to compare yourself to others who post similar things. Believe me, no matter how many people follow you or how many notes or hits your work gets, this never goes away if you are an introspective, insecure person by nature.

I'm not sure if I'm the right person for it, but I think I can try to give you some words of wisdom. I feel like the hard truth is that being creative has to (mainly) come from intrinsic motivations or you will not keep it up long-term. You have to love the story your writing, it has to be something you are happy to work on no matter if you post it or not. Extrensic motivation like notes/comments etc. can definitely help to get you to create more often but if your inner drive is not there it just takes you so much more effort to push through the insecurities. The best kind of writing is the story that gives you incredible brain rot because you're obsessed with it, not the one that gets you the most notes online. And I say this (I know) as someone who is lucky to get a lot of validation from others these days, especially friends.

The truth however is that it takes work and dedication like any other craft to get better at writing which also helps to get more confident, something an online audience cannot give you because it depends on factors beyond your control like fandom size/platform/ships etc. When I started writing fic on this blog in 2016 I was a tiny small account with not a lot of followers who was new to writing in English as well as the world of fanfic, I didn't have the best skills yet and posted x reader fics for maybe 10-30 notes if I was lucky, even for bigger fandoms. As time went by I improved, I found mutuals and a small community of writers but then eventually I abandoned this blog for a couple years because what happened is that I started writing for other people and not myself anymore. Taking requests, finishing stories for characters I was no longer into etc. It KILLED my creativity and I went back to other work beyond fanfic.

I went on to posting my fics exclusively to Ao3 when I did write because my motivation was the story itself, being obsessed with whatever media I had found, and not being popular in the fandom. I knew that was not gonna happen because my obsessions fluctuated and I was just a beginner writer who had a long journey ahead (still have I feel like). But the lack of pressure helped to actually get me to write. Instead of listening to what others want you have to allow your creativity to take you places and write the stories that inspire you, hop between fandoms and characters and tropes and be self-indulgent as fuck even if maybe two people read it. Finding writer friends REALLY helps with that.

I returned to tumblr for Ghost in an attempt to find community, not even really to stay here for so long, and I happened to be lucky to get here at a time where the fandom was VERY active and people were reading a LOT of fanfiction. Right now the fandom is pretty much dead compared to that time. When I came here I tried to be active because that is what I knew from when I started back in 2016, writers supporting writers, readers sharing a variety of works, multifandom accounts hopping all over the place, lots of activity not even bound to one bubble but across fandoms. I read other people's works on here and shared it, supported the new favorite writers I found, befriended people who I thought are cool etc. and I continue to do that now.

I feel like that is the key to having fun in fandom really. Because while a few people scout or follow the hashtags you post your work in most people will not bother digging through them (tumblr search is just horrible) but rely on what the people they follow reblog and put on their dash. People won't see your works if you stay inside your tight little corner and never interact with the community because there is no algorithm pushing it out. To be supportive is the best way to receive support and the best way to support others is to do so genuinely and not with the intention to get back. I KNOW this can be sooooo scary but I have only ever found it to be very rewarding in the end because kindness is contagious, you reap what you sow etc etc. I really hope you can find the courage to put yourself out there and listen to your creativity and let it carry you places instead of letting the outside world affect how you approach your creativity.

I hope this helped in some shape or form. I know it is all easier said than done but a LOT of people are sooooo kind and supportive if you show them that you are out there and care about them as well, I promise! ♡

[masterofpasta95]

The “Eggman is actually an adapted insult from Sonic!” thing that we are now proudly reminded of every 20 minutes makes me irrationally angry so I’m going to put an unnecessary amount of effort into explaining why it sucks.

Supreme dumbass (although, perhaps not pointless) nerd rage below.

This seemingly innocuous thing is somehow emblematic of everything I do not like regarding how Sonic is currently handled. It:

- is one of the most blatant “Flynn-isms” (providing an explanation to something which does not need one entirely for the sake of winning brownie points with the fandom and “solving inconsistencies”)

- treats localized material like it is “equally as legitimate” as things which the actual creators of sonic made

- instead of taking the path of least resistance, the explanation is still convoluted and contradictory with other information, therefore meaning its purpose of “solving things” isn’t even fucking accomplished

- makes Eggman, the character, less interesting.

Let’s make a ground rule clear: his name is supposed to be Eggman. We could talk about the merits of “Robotnik” as a name as much as we like, but the fact of the matter is, whether you like it or not, his original, intended name is Eggman. And it works, because this character LOOKS like a fuckin Egg Man.

“Eggman” is a great name because it makes him seem silly and non-threatening, not in spite of it. Eggman is a character defined by contrast; he’s smart, but he’s also kind of absent-minded. He sometimes looks friendly, but he can also look scary and ugly under the right conditions because of his toothy grin and vibrant, perfectly circular glasses. He’s quite jolly and funny, but also capable of extreme anger and desperation.

He seems silly and harmless, but is capable of single-handedly destroying entire ecosystems and designing scarily effective hedgehog killing machines.

He’s trying to do things he think will “improve” the earth, but he ruins it in the process.

If you make Eggman purely evil and imposing, you miss the point of Eggman. These are traits Eggman has in common with actual strangely intelligent manchildren. I would know.

However, I would argue the single most key thing about “Eggman” as a name is it’s second half: man. Eggman is generally representative of humanity and it’s insatiable desire for “progress,” at the cost of everything in its way. And, you know, the “Egg” half is self explanatory.

So, personally, I would say that there is not much reason to try and legitimize “Robotnik” in the first place, beyond it sounding cool and having a pun in it. Eggman is not only more fitting, it is more meaningful.

This is all relevant, because this “adapted insult” shit is spawned exclusively from a desire to try and make the way it was for Americans in real life- Robotnik “changed” to Eggman- the case in THE ACTUAL IN-LORE CANON OF SONIC THE FUCKING BLUE CARTOON HEDGEHOG, for some god forsaken reason. This whole Robotnik thing is also the primary headliner for how the American versions of non-American stories are now given more priority, because they are the more well-known versions, which more or less only serves to retroactively simplify the actual themes Classic Sonic was going for. Why would you do this as a storyteller, unless you were irrationally trying to make everything “equally valid?” It’s supremely shitty to do this fandom-satisfying stuff when viewed from a lens of actual artistic integrity. (And it also makes trying to convince people that Classic Sonic has more going on than it looks a god damn nightmare because they live in this ouroboros-esque feedback loop of misinformation)

And you can’t argue that his name was Robotnik in-universe up until SA1, anyways, and that all of this “wasn’t actually in the games, so it doesn’t contradict anything if it’s retconned!” These things come up all the time in these debates already, and you’re probably bored to tears of hearing about them, but I’m going to use them anyways.

Lol.

You could argue that “oh, he just adapted the insult before Sonic 2!” to which I have to ask, what’s the god damn point, then? Congratulations. He is “Robotnik” for one, maybe two games. You’re not getting what you want out of this, either.

Well, now we have an interesting question on our hands. Why WOULD he call himself “Eggman?”

This is where things become more headcanon-y, but it’s all extrapolated from actual character quirks of Eggman’s.

“Adapted insult” is honestly fiiiine as another “he’s always trying to be one step ahead of Sonic!” thing, but the logic is really tortured and it’s far more interesting to explore “Eggman” as a conscious, self-chosen name.

Consider for a moment how egotistical and proud of himself Eggman is. He genuinely thinks he is the single most awesome specimen there is, he’s so proud of his intelligence and vision that he oftentimes forgets the most basic of logic, in a “you forgot the first rule of X!” sort of way.

Eggman is also a businessman. And all businessmen are obsessed with one thing above all else: marketing.

And so, I choose to interpret “Eggman” as him deliberately selling his image as a perfectly spherical weirdo with a big mustache. It could even be something like a “superhero name,” he’s so proud of it that he wants everyone to know it and respect it. He is the Eggman, that’s what he is, and don’t ask again.

If he came up with a catchy name for himself and started plastering it everywhere, every single person would eventually know who “The Eggman” is. And it’s not like Eggman is insecure about being fat, or whatever; again, he thinks he’s perfect. “Eggman” is a name he’s both proud of and is great for marketing.

Every logo of his also fits cleanly into this “plastering The Eggman everywhere” idea; they’re all either of the word “Egg” itself, or something to do with his appearance, most commonly just straight up his face.

Oh, yeah, and as alluded to earlier, his god damn theme song is about how proud he is about being “The Eggman.”

In summary, “His name was Robotnik, and then Sonic insulted him by calling him Eggman, so he just decided to roll with it” is a dumb explanation, made entirely to both-sides something that is actively worse for being both-sides’ed, and it is significantly better characterization-wise if Eggman just came up with the name himself.

Thus concludes this week’s edition of Pasta’s Dumb Nerd Soapbox, I hope I explained myself well.

[anghraine]

Another form of Depression Discourse that I'm extremely wary of is "here are some things that can help with depression, so it's totally curable! You just have to do The Things, even if they're hard."

The issue is that—yes, there are things you may be able to do that can help with depression, for some people. There are habits that are likely to be helpful, like dragging yourself to things you normally like or getting exercise where possible.

Does this mean that those things intrinsically cure depression if you just pull yourself up by your bootstraps try hard enough? No. They can cure some people's depression completely. They can help other people's. It depends on the person.

But for me, the incessant do this, do that, you've got to take responsibility and get over it, has always been far more discouraging than learning about things like the relatively high rate of recurrence. I used to think that the reason I couldn't get past it was wholly on me. It kept coming back because I was lazy or undisciplined or self-indulgent or simply not doing the right things for whatever reason. Not trying hard enough. I told myself that if I could just summon up enough will to push myself past it, I would cure myself by sheer personal strength.

But I never could.

It tended to come back worse when I was under a lot of pressure, but no matter how good things were, it always returned. I'd spend a week or two feeling really good and motivated and energetic, then irritable and anxiously go-go-go yet very distractable—and then there'd be this awful crash into another episode of depression, over and over and over. I lived in my favorite city, I took walks, I went to readings, I volunteered, I kept myself and my apartment clean, and yet I couldn't overcome it.

The only thing that really put a significant dent in it was getting diagnosed as bipolar and put on mood stabilizers and eventually antipsychotics. And it still comes back! The crash is less extreme, most of the time—but I have grad student insurance for my medication, I have a psychiatrist and access to counseling when I need it, legal accommodations, and necessarily keep a fairly strict schedule. Going to my university in person rather than online helps, doing things I ordinarily like helps, sleeping regular hours helps. None of them help very much without medication. And for me, nothing helps enough to cure it.

The point is not that improvement is impossible, or that it never goes away for good. It does for some people! It does for many people. But, without denying the effort those people have put in, there is an element of good fortune to that. I think it's important for the people who aren't cured, who can never pull the bootstraps hard enough, to know that that's not a moral failing. It's not because we're weak or undisciplined, it's not because we aren't trying, it's not because we have any less value or merit than the people who get better or people who never have depression at all.

So, personally, I think a more important, generally accurate, and compassionate message than "depression will get better if you just try hard enough" is this one:

Whether you're cured or not, whether the usual recommendations help much or not, whether medications help or not: this isn't your fault.

[bkdk-art]

Endeavor's and Katsuki's way of atoning

Smth that has been going on in my mind for a while now and I know I'm late to the party since the manga is way past the Endeavor agency- and the Izuku-left-UA-arc but I gotta get if off my chest.

I've read a lot of analysis about similarities but especially differences between Endeavor and Katsuki, so I won’t point them out here. I'd rather continue with smth I don't think anyone else has pointed out yet (?).

In Episode 18 of Season 5 or in the manga chapter 252 Natsuo was kidnapped by that arrow-quirk-villain and while trying to rescue his own damn son Endeavor just stopped in his ways, later explaining he was afraid that if he saved him, Natsuo wouldn't be able to speak his mind freely anymore. Like??? Okay then?? Just let him die, seems to be the better option for you, Todoroki Enji AKA No. 1 Hero. And I know some will say he had faith in the three musketeers to save the day but let me remind you that Endeavor was surprised by their improvement!! So I don't think he hesitated in a strategic or calculated way but rather in a self-centered, egoistic one. And I cannot even begin to explain how much this makes me despise Endeavor, risking Natsuo's life like that.

Whereas, remembering chapter 285, Katsuki's "body just moved on its own" when Izuku was about to get stabbed. “There were no thoughts" like – yes! Exactly! I mean, Katsuki also could have had a thought process like "If I risk my life for the nerd, he will have no choice but to forgive me for my bullying, even if I don't deserve it" or something like that. But he didn't! Because all of that doesn't matter if the person in question might be freaking dead at the end of the day!

Man, Endeavor’s behavior in that episode/chapter pisses me off for so many other reasons like telling Natsuo he doesn't want his forgiveness. Yeah well, you sure don't deserve it but it may be a start to freaking apologize, like truly apologizing – which Katsuki did btw. Katsuki too, said that he doesn't expect things to change between him and Izuku but he apologized nonetheless because that's what you do if you screwed up.

And at the end of the episode when Endeavor decides to separate himself from the rest of the household, saying this is his way of atoning and guys, I can't keep up with his bs! He's turning away from them without even properly facing them!!! When he damn well knows that Fuyumi e.g. wishes for them to be a family again. Yes, sir, your kids and one son in particular are hard on you, calling you out for your abuse – as they should! – so you just give up after only two shitty dinners??? Of course there won’t be any forgiveness after such a short period of time. And this pisses me off so much because Shoto told him that he’d like to see how he would perform as a father and yet? Endeavor runs away after a few ugly confrontations with Natsuo.

And again, smth Katsuki managed to do – he stayed close to Izuku, really trying to help him out. And yes, I know, Izuku never pushed him away, in fact, ever but still, Katsuki is really putting effort into their relationship, not needing other people pushing him into doing so. He is in fact atoning.

Endeavor is just running away, not really thinking about his family or taking them into account, not truly trying to change. He's not making it about making it up to them but rather making it about how he can punish himself. Self-centered as usual.

Sometimes I wonder if Hori did the Natsuo-Endeavor-scene exactly that way, with Katsuki listening, so that Katsuki would be inspired to be nothing like him. Especially with the parallel of both of them talking about their former behavior in front of others but with the HUGE difference of Katsuki putting Izuku first.

Well. Where was I going with this? Originally this was supposed to be a Katsuki-redemption-appreciation-post, showing in comparison to Endeavor how many things Katsuki has gotten right but it kinda ended up pointing out how Endeavor just keeps fucking shit up.

Hope you're fine with that and sorry for not including any screenshots.

[yukikorogashi]

   Remember my friends, there are always going to be a bunch of haters and naysayers out there. And even if you also receive love and support from the other side, the former just LOVES having the stronger grip over you. Love knowing that what they say and think of you, ends up affecting you way more than the love and belief that you get from others. Making you think that you have nothing... that you, are nothing.

   I need to start by saying that I know I’m not one of the greatest and most talented artists/designers out there, and know that I have a long, long way to go (And yeah, I welcome that journey, and of course look forward to learning more, and to continue improving!). But more importantly... getting here has NEVER EVER BEEN EASY in the first place. I am indeed progressing and am indeed reaching those dream goals of mine, but not without tripping over more than one obstacle everyday.

   I have had lots of people laughed and looked down on me over the years, all from different age groups, areas of expertise, etc. People from other occupations laughing that I wanted to work in this area, instead of studying for a “real job”. One of my own art teachers even flinging my final year project down to the ground, and nearly even stomping her foot down on it, before storming right out (She was having a bad day, but it still wasn’t right for her to personally take it out on my art at the time). People that just... never took me and my skills seriously, but still think it was perfectly okay to take advantage of me and treat me like shit (Like my first supposedly real job out of college, that I was abused at for nearly a year, and only got paid $1000, that I was told I was even lucky to receive, in the first place).

   And don’t get me started on how after drawing for decades now (Ever since I was born), I’m still hardly noticed on any of my Social accounts for my art to this very day. But, you know what? That sort of thing doesn’t matter that much to me these days... especially when all the clients I have worked with up to this point, are people that I personally reach out to through emails and stuff. Granted, it took a lot of time, but I am happy to say that I have mostly (MOSTLY) grown out of my self-hating phase. Because constantly tearing myself down, especially when it comes to anything I achieve, is just not the way to go, my guys. 💦 

   ... And also, I will say that I am really lucky that I can share anything I create with a few very, very close pals, my dear friends who are always nothing but excited and supportive of me... Besides learning to hate myself less (And love myself more), I have learned that these are the people matter so much more, the people I should be tuning my hearing aid to. 

   So yeah, this goes back to one of my past posts, about being KINDER TO YOURSELF. About actually seeing and accepting that you truly are PROGRESSING, no matter how slow it may seem at times. Be prouder of yourself, GDI! Why are you spitting down on yourself, for actually putting in those attempts??? For actually TRYING? You are actually working so much harder than you realise!

   But yeah... I am still drawing, despite all of that. I am still doing what I do, because...

   I fucking love what I do, so, so much. Despite how hard it is (AND GOD IT IS HARD, DRAWING IS HARD, LOL!), despite how much I have to deal with, up to this very day. Despite how many times I have to survive on a few pennies, during some extra though periods... And this effort and perseverance has gotten me to FINALLY work with clients in time. And I hope to work with more in due time, as I continue down this path...

   Anyway, don’t stop. DON’T YOU. EVER. STOP. When it comes to doing what you love. Get back up, ALWAYS GET BACK UP, whenever those folks try to trip you over. 

   And make sure you start listening to the folks that are actually CHEERING YOU ON, including yourself. Swing all that LOVE in your heart for that thing like a pillow and smack those haters in the face with it, before continuing your way towards your goals!

[ina-nis]

It’s so hard to break the cycle and realize you’ve been chasing after unavailable people, emotionally and whatnot, over and over again. And that just ended up fueling avoidance further, too.

The origin doesn’t matter much too: whether you came to develop AvPD from childhood trauma, neglect, bullying, or something else; it’s likely that you either withdrew from trying to connect with people altogether, or you started chasing after people who were unavailable for you.

As you work towards building your self-esteem and strengthening your sense of self, you might start second-guessing yourself - again - are you too inflexible? Are your standards too high? Are you going too much into the other side (from ”I’m terrible and no one would want me” to “I’m too good for everyone and they all suck”)? Of course it is hard to find a balance, black and white thinking is a reality for you, and something you’ve been working on for years to improve.

That sense of overwhelm you feel when trying to get close to someone, or trying to let others close, comes from you not listening to your needs. Everything “worked” before when you were unaware, but now it doesn’t.

Now you really do know better.

You already know you’re not at fault here, you’ve been doing the best you can. You’ve been as transparent as one can be regarding your emotions, your mental health, your needs and so much more, because you know communication is one of the keys for any kind of relationship to be successful.

You hold onto unavailable people out of fear, don’t you? You don’t want to be “alone”, but how ironic it is that you keep loneliness at bay in spite of... all your other needs. Then, yes. you’re not “alone” but it feels dreadful: you fear you’re going to be abandoned or rejected (because they’re unavailable), they don’t want or can’t date you (because they’re unavailable), they keep to themselves and/or don’t talk much and/or don’t share and/or don’t confide in you about their emotions/needs/fears/etc (because they’re unavailable), and so, so much more.

You keep ignoring and avoiding the fact that it feels one-sided, either from the start or eventually becomes that way.

You obsess over, you resent, burn out, and pull away... just to start it all over again. That hurts you, and it hurts them. It feels like a sadistic game, in which you give and take, you push and pull, and that deteriorates the connection. You feel hopeless to stop it because you like and want them.

But they don’t want you.

They don’t want you in a way that reassures you, because they’re unavailable, and you didn’t want to see. It’s better to be blissfully ignorant and overlook the signs given to you, and blame your brain for overreacting because of trauma or something else, or maybe you were being too inflexible and asking for too much after all.

This goes for friendships and partners alike, connections held together by flimsy threads, that will break sooner or later, and you’re avoiding it, because you don’t want to see the truth that’s right in front of you, it hurts.

Except... you deserve better. Right now. This doesn’t have to wait until you’re asymptomatic - if anything, this will help you improve.

You’ve grown so much, you came so far in your journey to heal. You’re still healing.

You deserve to feel wanted and cherished, treasured and prioritized. You deserve proper communication, too.

You deserve people who want you and will make the time to be with you, who will put on the effort, and energy into getting things going - much like you try doing yourself - you deserve people who are available to you.

This is not too much to ask.

That’s the bare minimum.