#neil is a rabbit in every universe

[kingfluffkinss]

Andrew, at the ripe age of 17, wasn't allowed to work at the Eden's, but got a job at a gas station on the outskirts of Columbia. His shifts were usually filled with drunk drivers who staggered around the store and knocked over products while looking for booze, groups of teenagers who raided the snack isle with giggles and hurried steps, or self-important owners of flashy cars who regarded him and his register with contempt. In summary, Andrew was bored.

During one particularly hot evening, a boy walks into the store. His back is hunched and clad in a gray hoodie that almost reaches the boy's knees and seems to swallow him whole. His face is barely visible under the giant hood, but Andrew notices how the boy's eyes flit around the corners of the store. Corners that have cameras. After the quick inspection, the boy ducks his head, black curls falling over his eyes, and shuffles towards the electronics. Andrew has seen a lot of sketchy shit while working in that dingy shithole so another paranoid teenager doesn't pique his interest. Mentally clocking out, he goes back to moving the jars of strawberry jam around. It's not like anybody would buy jam in a gas station store.

The movement near the register catches his attention - the suspicious boy is standing next to it and eyeing the door like he's considering making a run for it. Andrew usually wouldn't care, but his boss promised to dock his pay if another theft happens during Andrew's shift. Sighing internally, Andrew slowly approaches the register and doesn't miss it when the boy pulls his sleeves down and over his knuckles. Two cheap prepaid phones are clutched in his hand. Andrew feels a tingle in his chest and oh, this is interesting. The boy thrusts the phones out, carefully keeping his knuckles covered. Andrew finds his ratty and shapeless hoodie deeply offensive, but he doesn't comment on it. Instead, he focuses on ringing the phones up while openly staring at the fidgety ball of fabric before him. He reminds Andrew of a rabbit, all he lacks are twitchy ears and stomping feet. Even with the guy's head bowed, Andrew spots dull green eyes and attractive cheekbones and he's sure of two things: firstly, Rabbit is fucking hot, and secondly, he's wearing contacts. None of these bode well for Andrew's attempted apathy. The boy avoids looking at Andrew, but the twitch of his mouth makes it obvious he knows he's being observed. He hands Andrew the money and waits with his palm up.

Andrew can't stand him, and he can't stand the curiosity that's biting at his heels. Wordlessly, he picks up the phones and instead of depositing them on the open palm, he moves his hand to the left and drops them. Two phones clutter as they hit the floor, and the sound rings like a gunshot in the quiet store. The boy startles visibly before scowling so fiercely that Andrew thinks the wrinkles on his forehead will never smooth out. As the boy bends down to collect his, somehow intact, purchase, a flash of purple catches Andrew off guard. Andrew knew Rabbit was hiding something under those gigantic sleeves, but somehow the blooming bruises around his wrists didn't make it on the list. Andrew's hand shoots out and catches the fabric near the elbow, successfully pulling the sleeve up and exposing an expanse of discolored bruises. Some seem fresh, a mesh of ugly red and purple, while the others seem days old and faded yellow. The hand is snatched away from Andrew's grasp as the boy hisses and jumps away, all the while pulling the sleeves over his hands once again.

The look he shoots at Andrew is venomous, but all Andrew can focus on is the glint of fear. Andrew has seen that look in Aaron's eyes after he found out about Tilda and her heavy-handed hobby of smacking Aaron around. His head is buzzing and his forearms burn where the armbands cover them.

"What the fuck is your problem?" the boy spits out while clutching his palms into fists at his side, back ramrod straight. And oh, how Andrew hates when cowards only find their spine to defend their abusers. He hates this guy, his murderous green eyes and most of all, his own protective streak. Andrew immediately snuffs it out and stomps on it for a good measure. This jumpy kid is not his problem.

"What is the name of your problem?" Andrew blurts out like an idiot. No. None of his business. He's not a vigilante, but he is well on his way to becoming a serial killer. He wonders what his moniker would be. At this point, call him a social worker. The guy's arms violently twitch at the question, but he doesn't back down and only continues to glare daggers down at Andrew, which? Not fair. He should've worn his boots today.

"Assholes sticking their huge, judgemental noses into my business," the boy fires back, quite loudly. Andrew ignores the immature insult as he leans back on the shelf, arms crossed and unwilling to lose their staring competition. He much prefers this enraged fireball to the skittish pile of paranoia that first walked into the store. The boy is distractingly gorgeous like this, all of his fired up indignance focused on Andrew. It's a shame he still hasn't stomped his feet.

"Lame. Do you talk back like this to the fucker who put those bruises on you?" tactless, but Andrew never claimed to be polite. He knows how hot-tempered people work, and railing them up is disgustingly easy. Andrew sometimes just needs to stare at Aaron for him to throw a fit. Once the words start flying, the truth will too. Andrew tells himself he doesn't care.

The only indication of the guy's rage are his eyes; Andrew is pretty sure the intensity of the guy's glare should've melted the contacts right off. He stands unnaturally still, a coiled snake ready to strike. Not a rabbit, after all. But Andrew spoke too soon, because he sees the exact moment Rabbit remembers himself. His back slouches as he relaxes, his hands go back to pulling at the sleeves, and his head drops. Gone are the fire and spite, in the ashes remains the flight risk Andrew hates. The boy's mouth opens, then closes. His posture shifts as he reaches for the door and forces it open. A slight shake of his head, strands of hair escaping the hood and falling over eyes which are still glued to Andrew's. Andrew's breath gets stuck somewhere bellow his throat, maybe in his lungs, as he notices the still present shade of defiance in the boy's expression. It's miles better than fear.

"The bearded Toyota driver that was creeping around the alcohol section stole a bottle of Absolut. He escaped through the back exit two minutes ago. Hope that one hurts your pockets for a while," and Rabbit has the nerve to smirk and throw a two finger salute at the frozen Andrew as he waltzes out, the door shutting behind him with a resonating bang.

[you-know-i-get-itt]

hii gia! how are you? i hope break's treating you well

can i ask about your jeaneil headcanons? you know. to expand mine. if you can and want to : )

hi tessa!! i’m doing well, i’m travelling right now :) i’m in the hills so i might actually get a white christmas for the first time in my life so that’s pretty exciting hehe. how are you?

okay off the top of my head, here:

raven neil au hcs:

(okay this got a tad angstier than initially anticipated, so proceed with caution)

1. neil gets into fights on jean’s behalf a LOT. like, constantly. because this is a neil that grew up learning to take punches and fighting to hurt (because of his father, not riko, riko’s a kid when neil gets to the nest). okay hold up i’m going to go down a very very deep rabbit hole here. okay never mind we’ll go there later (i’ll send you an ask). let’s go back to the fighting thing. neil is tiny at 16. like, 5’0 (remaining 3 inches at 17) and light as a feather because tetsuji’s main thing with neil as a backliner is speed with less focus on strength (re: the final ravens vs foxes match). he’s terrible in a fight. he can scratch and bite like a wild cat but the other backliners can literally just pick him up and throw him away, which they do. so he picks fights in jean’s defense to absolutely no avail and for literally no reason other than what did you just say to him? jean and neil argue about this frequently, but jean is both confused and horrified because 1) why would anyone fight for him and 2) maybe he genuinely mattered, and he didn’t know what to do with that

2. jean stopped fighting 2 months in in canon, right? it’s longer than that when neil’s a raven with him. it’s easier to keep fighting when someone else is there to fight by your side

3. (in a raven neil au, jean never tries to kill himself, because he wouldn’t leave neil behind and because he never feels alone enough)

4. they realised that they both find it easier to fall asleep after a nightmare if they’re in the arms of someone they trust. at first, when neil’s nightmare would wake them both up, neil would clamber onto jean’s bed and lie down with his back to the wall, and would fall asleep slowly after jean promised to stay awake to watch over him. later, when his nightmares became quieter and woke only him, he began to crawl into jean’s bed without waking him up. when he woke up one day to find jean curled around him in his, he realised that jean had quiet nightmares too

canon universe hcs:

1. the only person whose texts neil responds to regularly is jean. he does not know this. neil also does not know this (he’ll take any opportunity he can to piss jean off, and texting = talking = many such opportunities). kevin does not know this. everybody else knows and is flummoxed

2. cat finds out neither neil nor jean have every been on a roller coaster so, naturally, she puts them on one. neil throws up, jean nearly faints, both of them stumble out clutching each other and green in the face. they never speak of this again.

3. the first person (outside of andrew, ofc) that neil tells the names of his cats is jean, over the phone. jean hangs up on him and blocks him for the rest of the day

[aftgficrec]

Anonymous said: Hi! Thank you so much for your work. I'm looking for long finished fics, it can be canon or not AND I'm also looking for fics focused on Kevin and Neil friendship

From Ravens angst to food wars there’s a lot of Kevin and Neil here for you to enjoy. Readers, find the long complete fics portion of this ask here. -A

previous recs

Kevin & Neil here

Kevin & Neil friendship here

BFFs Neil & Kevin, physically affectionate here

Neil & Kevin as bffs/brothers + Kev/Neil here 

‘To All my friends’ here

‘on thin ice’ here

‘Exit Wound’ here 

‘Necessary Losses,’ ‘Remember! Proplifting is Shoplifting!,’ and ‘CVS’ (completed) here

‘don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious’ here

‘I have a Prom-Posal’ here (updated)

‘The Manga is Way Better (Save me from the Fangirls)’ here

‘Homecoming King’ here 

‘The One Where Everyone Finds Out’ here

‘How to outrun the mafia, an essay by Neil Josten’ here

‘my friends and I, we got a lot of problems’ and ‘please, carry me, carry me, carry me home’ here

‘I can see the stars though the tears in my skin’ here

‘Odd Eye’ here

‘Carrots’ here

‘You Can't Take the Sky from Me’ here 

‘Something Crazy About It’ and ‘The one where Andriel get Cats’ here

‘Dear Advice Guy,’ ‘a little bit special,’ and ‘quicksand’ here

‘Slow Parade’ and ‘Bad Habits’ here

‘Technique is Important’ here

‘venus as a boy’ here (completed)

‘Light a Match’ and ‘stupid, normal teenagers’ here

‘"There's blood on my/your hands."’ here

‘Neil Josten Is a Lucky Man’ here

‘Two worlds collide’ and ‘Fear & Loathing’ here

‘Father’s Day, ‘08’ here

‘Point Nemo’ here

‘Extra thermador on the side’ ch 14 & 15 here

‘Gimme a Kiss and I'll Kiss You Right Back’ here

‘North Star’ and ‘it's my first and perhaps last time (aka the Exy World Cup Fic)’ here

‘my one, my dear’ here

‘I’m too young to feel numb…’ here

‘The Sickness Was Forever,’ ‘Whatever it takes,’ and ‘It's Just You and Me, Just Us, and Y(our) Friend Kevin’ here 

‘Different Roads’ and ‘I Was Ruined From The Start’ here

‘Spun Sugar Truths’ here

‘But man, I can hate you sometimes’ here

‘Remember Me, Love, When I'm Reborn…’ and ‘The Suit Universe’ series (updated) here

‘Through our memories, we live’ here (completed)

‘Die Free or Die a Failure’ here (completed)

‘A Falling Star’ series here

you may also like

andreil & Kevin here

more kevineil here

Andrew & Kevin here

to whom it may aggravate by knoxout [Rated G, 1931 Words, Complete, 2022]

to: njosten@denverbulldogs.com from: kevinday@seattlestingrays.com ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID????? Kindest regards, Kevin Day

Strike That (from the record) by Mercey [Rated M, 1393 Words, Complete, 2023]

Kevin and Neil decide to read fanfiction about themselves on their podcast. Shenanigans ensue.

Medicated rabbits don't run as fast by AllTheSpadesAndAces [Not Rated, 8690 Words, Incomplete, Updated Nov 2023]

Neil Josten has his mother to thank for an addiction to painkillers, but he won't speak (that) ill of the dead. He's stayed on the run after her death. He never hits the same AA or NA meeting more than once. Usually only going once in every city he passes though. Maybe he should have remembered not to stray too close to Raven territory. After all, he knows what that place can drive people to do. OR Neil meets Kevin at an AA meeting.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: drug addiction, tw: alcohol abuse/alcoholism

Your eyes can’t fool me by maia_m03 [Rate G, 3533 Words, Complete, 2022]

There’s something familiar about this kid and Kevin can’t quite place it. Until he does. (A ‘Kevin recognises Neil at Millport’ AU)

neil josten vs vegetables (aka kevin) by orangejuice9 [Rated T, 3138 Words, Complete, 2023]

Three times Kevin tries to put vegetables in Neil's food, and one time Neil gets his revenge.

this is [home], this is hell by straycrow [Rated M, 1402 Words, Complete, 2022]

The day Kevin left the Nest and Neil behind.

tw: violence, tw: abuse

What the fuck did I do in the end? (Just to not be yours) by allfortheBoyds [Rated M, 2305 Words, Incomplete, Updated April 2023]

Kevin goes back to the nest so that Neil can run

no rest for the mischievous by tropicalblend [Rated G, 1681 Words, Complete, 2023]

Kevin forgets an essential piece of Neil's food order so Neil must enact revenge, he must.

frying pans by aknosde [Rated G, 1078 Words, Complete, 2023]

When Kevin trudges down the stairs and into the kitchen Saturday morning it's to the smell of frying sausage and a headache the likes of which he hasn’t seen in years. The fact that the former makes him want to throw up considerably more than the latter lets him know what kind of day it’s going to be. (Or: Neil cooks Kevin breakfast)

tw: implied disordered eating

i want to hold your hand by gay_irl [Rated T, 3481 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil starts to notice that Andrew occasionally exchanges casual touches with Kevin. He feels something about it but he's not sure what. He talks to Andrew and starts to realize the value of non-sexual intimacy. He decides to try it out.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

why am I like this? by chronically_peach [Rated G, 1744 Words, Complete, 2023]

Kevin doesn’t believe in loneliness. He doesn’t believe in friendship or the need for people around. He spent his entire life never being alone but never having a friend. Loneliness didn’t affect Kevin. Or so he thought. One night Kevin breaks down during late night practice while alone at the court. When he doesn’t come home Andrew and Neil go looking for him

In the Blooms by KaijuusAndKryptids [Rated G, 1273 Words, Complete, Aftg Spring Exchange 2022, Locked]

Kevin works on sobriety, and needs something to fill the time to distract him from needing a drink. He falls into gardening incidentally, but more and more often he finds that he wants to garden for gardening's sake and not to complete another objective.

Proof of Life by mostly_maudlin [Rated T, 2132 Words, Complete, 2022]

Realistically, Kevin knows he is safe now. No one is after him anymore. No one is plotting to drag him down into the hole he's clawed out of. He has people who will fight to keep it this way.

Kevin? Aaron? Together? My life can't get any worse than this by Artificiosus [Rated T, 2129 Words, Complete, 2022]

He takes a deep breath in. "Where?" "Where what- oh," Kevin replies. "Where?" Neil repeats, his heart rate is speeding up, he feels frozen to the spot. Dread? Fear? Whatever it is, it's locked him down. Kevin gulps.  ~~~~~ Kevin tells Neil that he and Aaron slept together.

Hey Look Neil, You Made It! by alexis_needs_sleep [Not Rated, 2224 Words, Complete, 2022]

7 years after Kevin agreed to teach Neil how to play Exy, Kevin shows up on Neil's doorstep with a long overdue gift.

Sticking with our Losers by Webaqoof [Rated T, 1647 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Kevin dragged his ass from the front porch steps where he was laying down, ready to enter the house. He furrowed his eyebrows to find it still closed, because he clearly heard Neil ringing the doorbell. “Why is the door not open?” Neil brought his hand to his chin in a thinking posture. Which was funny because he never really thought anything. “I think it’s because one of the people in the house doesn’t like me much.”

Could Have Been Me by thornilee013 [Rated T, 1843 Words, Complete, AFTG Mixtape Exchange 2024]

Kevin finally voices a question that's been bothering him.

i should hate you, i feel stupid. by hynjinnnniee [Rated T, 3391 Words, Complete, 2024]

kevin experiences some complicated feelings after riko dies, and the monsters help him through it.

Naked-Fruit Chiffon Cake, one box by riri_a [Rated T, 2579 Words, Complete, 2023]

Kevin Day was having a very boring morning. Some might say his life was boring in general. Everything changes when a homeless guy with blue eyes decides to rob his workplace. Kevin thinks he's incompetent.

Tell Me the Truth by birthdaycandles774 [Rated T, 1948 Words, Complete, 2023]

The Foxes were staying at the winter banquet for both days, how boring. Andrew had gone to get ice for his drunk brother and cousin when he noticed two Ravens. So far from their nest, strange. He never expected to make a deal with the unannounced member of the 'Perfect Court' who only wanted him to protect Kevin Day. He definitely didn't expect to want the mysterious Raven to stay. The one where Neil was caught by the Moriyamas and is the one to get Kevin out of the Nest.

Kevin Day is keeping Celeste series by Twolipsliterature [Rated G/T, Collection, Incomplete, Updated Feb 2023]

Part 1: What never belonged to angels, Had never belonged to men [T, 1837 Words, Complete] Neil, Andrew, and Kevin are in Columbia for the summer following Riko's death. Needless to say, Kevin is not handling it well. When a breakup leads to a breakdown, Neil and Andrew must learn what it is to be a friend and how to help peice someone back together instead of being the one to break them apart

tw: alcohol abuse/alcoholism

Part 2: If I let you perceive me, do you promise to love me? [T, 11037 Words, Incomplete, Updated Feb 2023] The last thing Kevin expected to do after a messy breakup was immediately fall for someone. Yet, here he is, smitten and cursing himself for it. With more baggage and trauma than he can hide under his bed, Kevin is hesitant to open up to someone. How can anyone get to know him when he barely knows himself? Lucky for him, Celeste is very good at piecing things together. OR: Despite his best efforts, Kevin falls in love.

Part 3: A Lesson In Loving You, A Lesson In Being Loved [G, 4966 Words, Complete]

After months of sneaking around, Neil decides its high time Kevin introduce the foxes to his not-so-secret girlfriend. When it finally happens, he can't shake the feeling that there's something more to her that Kevin is missing...

A Collection of my varying AFTG short stories… by BasiliskCrane [Rated M, Collection, Updated July 2021]

Chapter 6: "your an idiot... " (G, 438 Words)

You Gave Me A Key And Called It Home by vinesse [Collection, Rated T, Complete, 2019]

Chapter 31: Scared, Me? (466 Words)

A Series of H/C One-Shots For All For The Game by carefulren [Rated T, Collection, Updated 2018]

Chapter 1: Neil Downplays How Sick He's Feeling, and the Foxes Step In Chapter 4: sick and problematic kevin trying to keep the team away from him, but the team ignores him

Art

kevneil arguing dynamic comic by @wuzeio

quality bonding time animation by @broresteia

weekly call comic by @bleepbloops

tramp stamps instead of face tattoos art by @koihoi

AU where Kevin meets Neil on the run art by @lucky-slice

[waywarrdsunshine]

I legit tried to write this out earlier and I stopped halfway through so let me try to get this out again it might not make sense but I just want to see if I'm the only one

so basically I've been hyper fixated on aftg recently, but that's not entirely the truth.

I'm hyper fixated on Andrew right now.

which doesn't make sense to me because based on my past character hyper-fixation archetypes It should be Neil. Not only that but I'm used to character hyper fixations, hell they're my most common kind I tend to get into (especially ones that feel like I physically cannot think of anything else and it becomes like a mental infestation) but I've never experienced one where I think about the character and everything they've been through and my stomach gets nauseous, or the hyper fixation becoming so bad I end up barely eating (and I have binge eating issues me rejecting food is rare.) But that is exactly what's been happening with Andrew. I've been off work for the last two days but the last time I was in I ended up getting so anxious because I couldn't stop thinking about him that I ended up asking my manger to take a 15 and switch tasks with someone so I didn't have to be on register anymore (I didn't straight up say what was going on in my head I played it off as just being overwhelmed with customers). I'm on summer break atm so I'm home from college and my mom has mentioned she knows somethings up and is a bit worried (she knows its a hyper fixation just not on what). I'll have moments where I can push it to the side and make an unrelated joke and actually manage to eat something but then I end up falling down the inevitable rabbit hole again. I also sometimes tend to engulf traits of the character I'm hyper fixated on when I get this way so I've been far more irritable and sarcastic as of late (which is also just part of me trying to deal with keeping my brain in control while navigating the world in a tunnel vision fog right now.) Music both helps and triggers it because my brain has something to focus on but that focus is a song reminding me of said character or how I feel about being hyper fixated on said character. I myself have tried to write lyrics down about this as well (some of which I'm actually pretty proud of). and I'm somewhat caught somewhere between avoiding any type of aftg (especially Andrew) fan content and checking every virtual stone I can to "unintentionally" come across an edit of him that will surely ruin my day by making me emotional over an "apathetic" little shit that's the same height as Sabrina fucking Carpenter.

I mostly just want to see of anyone else has ever felt this way because while some traits with this fixation are new and are somewhat concerning for me I've also had to deal with this kind of mental battle for control of my brain for years on and off and I don't know if this is a universal or even common experience for other ND folks. I'm also trying to justify why my brain decided Andrew Minyard of all characters was gonna be the one to come crashing into my summer break like a goddamn tidal wave but alas sometimes I just have to be in awe of my own tism.

I'm considering just vent-posting this hyper fixation out as a way to just talk about it so idk

[lostintheuniverseslies]

Fic Master Post

AFTG & 9-1-1 Fandoms

Trying My Best ● All For The Game

Rated E ● 75,271 Words ● 20 Chapters ● Pairing: Neil/Andrew ● Part 1 of a Series ● Finished

“You refuse to talk to Bee. If today was any indication, I’d say you cannot afford to continue going on without talking to her.” “I’m not talking to her,” Neil said resolutely. “Then we’re at an impasse. I will not waste my time worrying about a rabbit who will neither call me nor see a therapist for his problems.” Basically Neil and Andrew figure out how to help each other through the good and bad days.

Safe Zone ● All For The Game

Rated G ●  3,062 Words ● 1 Chapter ● Pairing: Neil/Andrew ● Part 2 of a Series ● Finished

Andrew wakes up with a fever but like the hard headed shit he is, he tries to power through it. Nothing goes as planned and he finds a begrudging comfort in Neil.

Stay With Me ● All For The Game

Rated E ●  97,333 Words ● 21 Chapters ● Pairing: Neil/Andrew ● Part 3 of a Series ● Finished

Neil had let Andrew say goodbye to every important person left in Palmetto while he stood on the sidelines and cheered Andrew on. There was only one goodbye left and it would be the most painful one. It seemed as though it was finally hitting Neil too. They only had twenty-seven days together and then Neil would return to Palmetto alone for the first time since Millport. -They spent the first year after everything healing. Now they have to learn how to navigate being away from each other while Andrew is off playing in the pros and Neil is still at Palmetto finishing his fifth year. Things aren't easy. They never seem to be for them but they're fighters. And they always come out on top.-

Three Steps ● All For The Game

Rated M ●  33,033 Words ● 3 Chapters ● Pairing: Neil/Andrew ● Finished

After Mary died, Neil went to the FBI and helped them take down not only Nathan and his inner circle but also the Moriyama family. Now free to do as he pleases, he decided that he wants some normal life experiences. What better way to accomplish that than to enroll at Palmetto University. He doesn't expect to find friendship in his roommates and definitely doesn't expect to fall for the man who sits in the corner of the café with blades under his armbands and hair that shines like a halo in the sun.

If Only I Were Enough ● All For The Game

Rated M ●  50,970 Words ● 15 Chapters ● Pairing: Neil/Andrew ● Finished

After Andrew moves to Colorado to start his professional Exy career, he intends on everything being okay between him and Neil. But when his self-destructive tendencies tell him that he doesn't need Neil Josten in his life, everything goes to shit. Things between them seem unrepairable and he's not so sure he wants to even try. But when Neil gets into a dangerous car wreck, Andrew finds himself back at the junkie's side with a deadline to fix things or walk away forever.

Somebody's Watching Me ● All For The Game

Rated G ●  4,960 Words ● 1 Chapter ● Pairing: Neil/Andrew ● Finished

It's October and the monsters are out shopping when they come across a very creepy doll. Neil decides to have some fun with it by scaring Nicky at every corner.

Monsters, Friends, and Candy ● All For The Game

Rated G ●  3,211 Words ● 1 Chapter ● Pairing: None ● Part 1 of a Series ● Finished

Bee has spent the last two years hoping that she was doing good by Andrew and Aaron. Hoping that she had done a decent enough job that they truly believed they were safe and loved by her. She gets her answer when she overhears Andrew comforting a scared Neil.

Nothing Mattered Until You ● All For The Game

Rated M ●  22,497 Words ● 5 Chapters ● Pairing: Neil/Jean ● Finished

On the docks in Marseille, Neil fell in love. But his mother ripped him away and for years he never dared hope to see Jean again. He believed that he would die before ever getting the chance. But when recuperating with his uncle after his father is killed, Neil's chance comes. Unfortunately, he isn't the only one who went through some horrible things over the years. Despite their horrible pasts, they decide to try for a future together. Going to college and even making some friends along the way. But Riko has other plans and wants back what he considers his.

A Quiet Little Seedling ● All For The Game

Rated E ●  166,687 Words ● 31 of 31 Chapters ● Pairing: Neil/Andrew ● Part 1 of a Series ● Finished

Neil had a lot of secrets. He didn’t want much in life except to live quietly, run his botanical store, upload TikToks covering plant care, and for not a single person to find out that he’s the best-selling author N.A.J who published one book anonymously five years prior and disappeared. His life takes a turn when his literary agent tracks him down for a follow-up book with the theme of feeling settled and at peace. Two things Neil is not. Thus begins his journey of planting roots in a town he’s lived in for years, starting with making friends with people who have tried to bring him into their circle. As Neil gets closer to them and his secrets become less guarded, there’s still that one big secret he intends on taking to his grave. But the closer he gets to his friends the closer he unknowingly gets to that secret being revealed.

Where Monsters Hide ● All For The Game

Rated T ●  4,299 Words ● 1 Chapter ● Pairing: Neil&Andrew ● Part 2 of a Series ● Finished

Years after their first Halloween together, where Andrew found Neil hiding under a table and vowed to protect him, Neil still finds solace in his best friend’s steadfast presence. But when a cruel Halloween prank traps Neil in a dark storage closet filled with spiders—the one thing he fears most—he’s thrown back into memories of his painful past and the terror he thought he’d left behind. In his panic, Neil clings to the one constant in his life: Andrew, who has always kept his promise to protect him.

More Than Survival ● All For The Game

Rated M ● 4,252 Words ● 1 of ? Chapters ● Pairing: Neil/Jean ● Ongoing

Neil Josten never imagined he'd end up at FoxTech Innovations, a mid-sized consumer technology company founded on second chances. Between the weight of his past, the loss of his leg, and court-mandated therapy following a violent altercation, Neil is just trying to keep his head above water. When his therapist suggests a therapeutic pen pal program, he reluctantly agrees, finding unexpected solace in the anonymous letters exchanged with someone who seems to understand the weight of survival. Little does Neil know, his pen pal is closer than he thinks. At FoxTech, Neil crosses paths with Jean Moreau, a reserved marketing coordinator whose quiet empathy draws Neil in despite his resistance to trust. As their letters deepen into confessions of pain and hope, and their work relationship begins to take shape, Neil finds himself caught between the vulnerability of his pen pal connection and the guarded relationships he’s trying to build in real life. Can the words of a stranger—and the growing connections he never expected—help Neil find the courage to confront his past and embrace the possibility of something more?

Andrew's Agenda ● All For The Game

Rated E ●  4,659 Words ● 1 of 1 Chapters ● Pairing: Neil/Andrew ● Part 2 of a Series ● Finished

When Neil chooses work over their day off together, Andrew can’t resist stirring up a little mischief. After all, it’s not his fault Neil entrusted him with the login credentials to N.A.J.’s official Twitter account. What could possibly go wrong when Andrew takes the reins?

Where It All Went Right ● 9-1-1

Rated T ●  4,944 Words ● 1 of 1 Chapters ● Pairing: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard ● Finished

Buck is hit by a car while saving a little girl. Before help arrives, he makes a call. Tommy doesn’t answer.

Give Me Tonight ● 9-1-1

Rated M ●  2,245 Words ● 1 of 1 Chapters ● Pairing: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard ● Finished

Buck didn’t want to jump. Not at first. Sitting on the edge of a condemned high-rise, tequila warming his veins and quieting his thoughts, he wonders if making the silence permanent wouldn’t be so bad. Then Tommy shows up—blue flight suit, steady hands, and a voice that refuses to let him disappear.

[mysticstronomy]

DO SHADOWS APPEAR ON THE MOON'S SURFACE??

Blog#325

Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023

Welcome back,

The moon is utterly familiar. We see it all the time, in the blue sky during the day, among the stars and planets at night. Every child knows the outlines of the moon’s lava seas: they trace the Man in the Moon or, sometimes, a Rabbit.

This familiarity goes beyond appearances. The moon is actually made of Earth. According to modern theories, the moon was born some 4.5 billion years ago when an oversized asteroid struck our planet. Material from Earth itself spun out into space and coalesced into our giant satellite.

Yet when Apollo astronauts stepped out onto this familiar piece of home, they discovered that it only seems familiar. From the electrically-charged dust at their feet to the inky-black skies above, the moon they explored was utterly alien.

On the next sunny day, step outdoors and look inside your shadow. It’s not very dark, is it? Grass, sidewalk, toes–whatever’s in there, you can see quite well.

Your shadow’s inner light comes from the sky. Molecules in Earth’s atmosphere scatter sunlight (blue more than red) in all directions, and some of that light lands in your shadow. Look at your shadowed footprints on fresh sunlit snow: they are blue!

Without the blue sky, your shadow would be eerily dark, like a piece of night following you around. Weird. Yet that’s exactly how it is on the Moon.

To visualize the experience of Apollo astronauts, imagine the sky turning completely and utterly black while the sun continues to glare.

Your silhouette darkens, telling you “you’re not on Earth anymore.”

Shadows were one of the first things Apollo 11 astronaut Neil Armstrong mentioned when he stepped onto the surface of the moon. “It’s quite dark here in the shadow [of the lunar module] and a little hard for me to see that I have good footing,” he radioed to Earth.

The Eagle had touched down on the Sea of Tranquility with its external equipment locker, a stowage compartment called “MESA,” in the shadow of the spacecraft.

Although the sun was blazing down around them, Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin had to work in the dark to deploy their TV camera and various geology tools.

“It is very easy to see in the shadows after you adapt for a while,” noted Armstrong. But, added Aldrin, “continually moving back and forth from sunlight to shadow should be avoided because it’s going to cost you some time in perception ability.”

Truly, moon shadows aren’t absolutely black. Sunlight reflected from the moon’s gently rounded terrain provides some feeble illumination, as does the Earth itself, which is a secondary source of light in lunar skies. Given plenty of time to adapt, an astronaut could see almost anywhere.

Almost. Consider the experience of Apollo 14 astronauts Al Shepard and Ed Mitchell:

They had just landed at Fra Mauro and were busily unloading the lunar module. Out came the ALSEP, a group of experiments bolted to a pallet. Items on the pallet were held down by “Boyd bolts,” each bolt recessed in a sleeve used to guide the Universal Handling Tool, a sort of astronaut’s wrench. Shepard would insert the tool and give it a twist to release the bolt–simple, except that the sleeves quickly filled with moondust. The tool wouldn’t go all the way in.

The sleeve made its own little shadow, so “Al was looking at it, trying to see inside. And he couldn’t get the tool in and couldn’t get it released–and he couldn’t see it,” recalls Mitchell.

“Remember,” adds Mitchell, “on the lunar surface there’s no air to refract light–so unless you’ve got direct sunlight, there’s no way in hell you can see anything. It was just pitch black. That’s an amazing phenomenon on an airleuss planet.”

(Eventually they solved the problem by turning the entire pallet upside down and shaking loose the moondust. Some of the Boyd bolts, loosened better than they thought, rained down as well.)

Originally published on universetoday.com

COMING UP!!

(Saturday, August 26th, 2023)

"WHAT IS THE GREAT SILENCE??"

[makesomethingawfuleveryday]

Austin Kleon's newsletter recently shared a clip of an Alan Moore interview where he advocated for writers to read terrible books. Check it out, but it sent me down a short rabbit hole of Kleon's other posts about making bad art (terrible idea, I know) from art critic David Sylvester saying artists must be allowed to go through bad periods to the original post about making bad art during the start of the pandemic that referenced a speech Neil Gaiman gave called "Make Good Art."

On a whim I bought a copy of the speech in artbook form as I've been feeling reflective about the make something awful every day project after talking about it in an alumni panel at my university last week (more on that... someday).

It feels very full circle since the book was designed by Chip Kidd who I saw speak as part of the series I was speaking in back when I was still in school and had been thinking a lot about Kidd's speech while preparing my own. Gaiman also cites Amanda Palmer and her "Fraud Police" speech in the same week I went to Riot Fest and saw the Dresden Dolls perform for the first time since seeing them many times while in college. Circles within circles. To me. Personally. Something something the Art of Asking TED talk -> my fake MSAED talk.

Anyway, here are some pieces from the #msaed archives! Somehow have never done anything Chip Kidd related, so need to fix that.

[nagdabbit]

Ten Random Lines Meme

tagged by the ever lovely @shes-a-voodoo-child and the incomparable @sybilius 💜

rules: pick any ten of your fics, scroll to the midpoint, pick a line (or three) and share it. then tag ten people.

tagging everyone reading this, i wanna read your shit. if youre reading this congratulations you're tagged tell em daggs sent ya (i am 1000% serious)

i don't have a whole lot of fics floating around out there, so i just had my wife choose them

1. Some are born and some are dyin' (stranger things, steve harrington/billy hargrove, murder boyfriends)

He huffed a small laugh, shook his head, pressed a kiss to the space beneath Billy’s ear. He thought about taking the dangling earring into his mouth, giving it a gentle tug. He shelved it for later, if there was one. "No, no. See, there's things here in Hawkins that shouldn't be. Dark, scary things. Things comin' after my kids, my people," he murmured, and continued nosing at the spot just behind Billy's ear. "And there's some of those things that I can't do a damn thing about."

"And what the fuck does that have to do with me?" Billy snapped, and gave a token struggle. The cuffs around his wrists rattled.

The hand he kept fisted in Billy's curls jerked and twisted, directing his gaze a little to their left. "Because," he said, relishing in the soft catch in Billy's breath, the rabbit-quick kick in his heartbeat, the rigid line of his back as he froze, "your dad isn't one of them."

In the pale moonlight, Neil Hargrove lay motionless.

He was curled, half on his front, where he’d fallen in the damp brush. His hands were pinned in place, restrained simply by the long, sharp blade pushed through the center of his palms and into the base of his spine. In the pale light, his blood bled inky black into the sodden earth where he lay.

"There's things in Hawkins that need taken care of," he murmured, mouthing at the skin of Billy's throat. "And there's things here that need gotten rid of."

2. At one, for once, with the universe (wrestling, dean/seth/roman/renee (/elias))

Dean gasped, head tilted back against Roman's shoulder. “This, ah fuck, this doesn't seem like much of a punishment,” Dean muttered, breathless. His chest was pushed forward to accommodate his bound arms, putting him on display for anything Seth might want to do.

“You already took your punishment,” Roman reminded him, running his hands up and down Dean's ribs. Paused to pinch at his hipbones, just to see if Dean would make that sound he used to. And he did. The sharp, bitten off yelp echoed off the walls as he arched suddenly. “This is more of a reward, I suppose.”

"Reward f-for what?" he asked, stumbling a little as he gasped and bucked between them. Seth's clever mouth always did that, left him a stuttering, gasping mess. They’d had years to learn and catalogue every spot that would make him shudder and whine. Just where to pinch and lick and bite to get him worked up and fast . It was practically a second language to the both of them.

“Fuck, you're gorgeous,” Seth murmured, ignoring Dean's question. He hummed, mouth working across Dean's chest, tongue lazily tracing the rope work. He placed a sharp bite to a nipple, and Dean gave another startled little shout. “Just listen to you, baby boy. The sounds you make."

Roman felt the exact moment Dean realized that he couldn't get away if he wanted to. Couldn't struggle out from between them. Couldn't turn the tables and get them to just shut up. He sucked in a startled breath, going tense where Roman held him. He whined and tried to turn his face into his shoulder, tried to hide again. "Oh, baby boy, don't keep quiet. Let us hear you."

3. snow white trash (wrestling, mox/bryan, vet & kinda snow white)

And if everything had stopped there, Bryan might've continued to have a nice, calm day. It was the seventh cat, decidedly not a fucking cat, perched on Mox's shoulder that was the problem. Bryan knew what a mountain lion cub looked like, even if Mox didn't. And even that, he could've lived with.

"Why is there a fucking deer in my clinic."

"Okay, I didn't bring that one!" Mox insisted, then winced. He sighed and backtracked a little as the fawn poked its nose against Mox's knee. "Okay, so, I was out for a run, right?"

"Just—please, stop there."

4. Lit up like a match (stranger things, steve harrington/trans billy hargrove)

And then, suddenly, it clicked.

Billy was talking about his new home—the too big house with a wide yard, perfect for a dog, maybe, or a family—when it finally hit him. When it finally made sense.

Fuck, he was an idiot.

No one could ever call him quick on the uptake.

"Oh." He watched him—Billy—freeze in place, mid-sentence. "Oh, shit. You--William. That's your name, right? It-it's William. Billy is short for William ."

He nodded, slowly. He looked at Steve like he was an idiot—because he was—but there was something else there. Something that was still a little unsure about him.

5. black and blue (wrestling, yuta/bryan, vague bdsm club au)

He was lovely. He spared a thought, just a quick moment, to wonder if he was like this for Mox. If he was soft and sweet, if he had to be wrestled down first.

Bryan could've ended it early. Could've cut the time at Wheeler's usual three minutes, and he wouldn't have known the difference. But Wheeler could do it, just as he'd told Bryan at the start. And he would do it, and he wanted to.

As the clock ticked over the final seconds, Bryan slipped off the couch and sat himself on the floor, legs parted around Wheeler's still kneeling form. "There you are," he murmured, and clasped Wheeler's hands to pull him forward. "I knew you could do it, my good boy."

6. Come through callin' (wrestling, mox/eddie(/renee), time loop)

"The fuck is this."

"Ticket to Vegas," he said, trying not to grin at Renee as she muffled snickers into her palm. Eddie would take the bait, he absolutely would. He just fucking knew it, regardless of whatever assurances Eddie had given him. "Leaves in like two hours, so put on a clean shirt, get in the car when it arrives, and come to Vegas."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"No. I already booked you a flight for tomorrow, also on my dime, so you got nothin' to fucking lose," Jon pressed, hopefully. "Come to Vegas."

"No, no, absolutely the fuckin' fuck not," Eddie snapped, and Jon could hear him pacing and stomping. He could throw a fit with the best of them. "I dunno what you're gonna do to me, or trick me into, or fuckin' what, and I sure as shit don't want to find out. No, absolutely not."

"Please?"

Eddie didn't speak for a long few moments, audibly seething and mad. But then he growled and cursed and smacked something loudly with his hand. "Christ. Fine, fine! But you better fuckin' come pick me up."

"I will," he promised, chuckling to himself. "I'll be there."

"Most annoying man I ever fuckin' met, Mox," he grumbled, and ended the call before Jon could get in any more teasing.

7. to carry within us an orchard (stranger things, billy hargrove & robin buckley, chef au)

"Can you tell me the cause of death? " he asked, voice a little strangled, and Robin almost felt bad for what she was about to do. Almost. "What--what happened? I saw him just this afternoon. How did he die?"

"Of course, sir, please give me a moment to look over my chart here," she said and rustled her shirt, like it would even sound like paper, and it really only served to make Billy stifle a snicker into his shoulder. "Ah, yes, according to our records, it appears that the cause of death was nutting."

At her shoulder, Billy sputtered again and spit cognac down his chest. He stifled a coughing laugh into his elbow and nearly toppled over with the force of it.

There was a pause on the line. "I'm sorry," he said, slowly, "but, did you say—"

"Yes, sir, you heard correctly. According to my records, the official cause of death is listed as, uh, nutting. I'm afraid that he simply nut to death, sir," Robin said, as serious as she could manage. Billy stifled a snort into his hand, his entire body hunched over and shaking with near-silent, wheezing laughter. 

"He… nut."

"Yes, sir. Just nut his brains out."

8. Took it all and took the dirt road home (stranger things, steve harrington/billy hargrove)

And then the ripples still and the stars above stop dancing across the water below, and he's looking at another sky. Wildflowers dot the hillsides around them like their own kind of constellations, another endless sea for them to float in. The breeze isn't strong enough to send the Queen Anne's Lace dancing, isn't enough to ripple the waves of brittle grasses, isn't enough to rile the sea of stars.

The skies, above and below, glitter and shine.

The darkness is so big and bright that Billy can clearly trace the peaceful slope of Steve's smile. 

He wants. And so he moves, slowly closing in until he's looking down at Steve. Until strands of chestnut hair, wild and soft, drift and float toward him, tickling across his chest. Until he can count the marks dotting Steve’s serenely soft face. Moves until he’s close enough to touch and take what he wants.

9. lamp-bright rind (stranger things, steve harrington/billy hargrove, chef au)

Steve’s expression immediately fell, “Oh, shit, I didn’t even ask if you had plans or anything! You don’t need me taking your time!”

"No, no , you're always welcome," Billy laughed and shook his head. "I've got a cookbook to write and a few weeks of thumb-twiddling at the restaurant. I was forced into a sabbatical."

"But I'm still keeping you from working on your book," Steve muttered, lips still pursed. "Vacations are, like, for relaxing! You don't need to be babysitting me, too."

"Do you know what I would be doing right now, right this minute, if you weren't here?" Billy asked. He waited until Steve gave him a little shake of his head. "Absolutely fucking nothing."

10. a song that will dig into my bones (wrestling, mox/bryan, bookshop au)

Bryan huffed out a little laugh and ducked his head for a moment. "Can I ask you something, instead?"

"'Course you can, I'm an open book." He bit back a smile, waiting for the telltale twitch of Bryan's jaw that said he was biting back his own laugh at the pun. 

"You're not as funny as you think you are."

"And you're not as good a liar," Jon shot back, giving the man as smarmy of a grin as he could manage. "Go on, then. Ask me your questions so I can do all the work."

He wiggled his toes where they were firmly lodged beneath Jon's thigh, like that was any kind of retaliation. "You're the one pretending he's not about to fall asleep."

"You can go, you fuckin' square," Jon grumbled, halfheartedly. "If you wanna go sleep on your shitty hotel bed, I won't actually stop you. But m'not trying to get you to go yet."

[bastardbvby]

amaya give me aftg fanfic recs (if you have any) cause even tho i was obsessed with the books i never read any and i feel like i missed out on great stuff

oh my god absolutely. um. putting this under the cut because i've realized that this has gotten super long but....hope this helps adfhdh

lessons in cartography (121k) is a definite must – it's a continuation of the series from where the books left off and honestly. anything by this author is a work of art ive reread this so many times

this roommate bullshit (13.8k) grad school au where kevin sees andrew (short, angry) carrying knives in the library and is like wow u should meet my roommate neil (also short and angry and wielding knives) also highly recommend anything by this author theyre amazing <3

they used to shout my name (now they whisper it) (46.9k) witch/coven au where neil is on the run and winds up meeting the foxes and joining their coven,, descriptions of magic in this one are unreal i love it sm

an assassin's guide to romance (12k) slight medieval au where neil is an assassin sent to spy on kevin and andrew is kevin's bodyguard. also there's a dog. so cute recently reread :')

the first breath (180k) omg it's like a sandman universe au this is genuinely one of my fav things EVER. and yes i highly recommend this author adfhfh also super recommend armies (342k) by them

and we'll be running (62k) necessary band au that every fandom needs,, havent reread in a bit but i remember loving how well the songs were written into this

red rabbits (292k) and red rabbits: season 2 (282k) this series gensrs changed my life like. i have yet to encounter anything quite as unique as this format and style. each fic is set up as a podcast but. idk how to explain it like it's not your normal kind of podcast/social media fic please just check it out if u read anything on this list.

be neither fish nor fowl (26k) and across the turtle's back (53k) mermaid/pirate au. so well written and the sequel is definitely like . top 10 fics

i realize that a lot of these are like Super Long fics mostly because those are the ones i tend to read the most but if u want shorter stuff lmk :] hope this is helpful

[mariacallous]

Ever since Donald Trump descended the Trump Tower escalator to Neil Young’s “Rockin’ in the Free World,” he’s remained the center of America’s political universe. But at least one former congressman believes the continued fixation on the 45th president is now a distraction. He’s only part of the story, especially now that Trumpism has grown larger than Trump himself.

On Friday, the House Select Committee investigating the January 6, 2021, attack on the Capitol formally subpoenaed Trump, which seems to be the minimum amount of red meat the Democratic base demanded from the panel. While the big reveal of the subpoena—which was leaked to NBC News during the panel’s final hearing earlier this month—garnered headlines and TV hits, it overshadows the misunderstood and still-unfolding story of the digital machinations that fueled the attack and are poised to remake America for years to come, if not forever.

The US has entered an era of algorithmic political warfare, according to former Republican congressman Denver Riggleman. Until this spring, he served as a senior advisor to the January 6 committee, which he recounts in his new book, The Breach: The Untold Story of the Investigation into January 6th. A former Air Force intelligence officer, Riggleman cofounded a successful data mining and analysis military contracting firm before his election to the House in 2018. While the special panel conducted hundreds of interviews, Riggleman says, they’ve been lapped.

“The information war moves at the speed of electrons, not at the speed of interviews. That’s it. We’re in a new world,” Riggleman says. “The committee did a great job, but we have to move faster. We have to be more aware of how data can help any investigation into these types of activities when it comes to domestic terrorism or the radicalization pipeline.”

Riggleman says it’s unfortunate that the select committee devoted the bulk of its time and resources looking backward. He fears they missed what’s afoot—and still to come. “We’re trying to solve today’s problems tomorrow with yesterday’s technology. We’re in an information warfare battlespace,” Riggleman contends. “They’ve already changed their tactics. Deplatforming didn’t work. They just go to other platforms.”

Riggleman, a conservative who left the Republican Party after he was primaried out of office in 2020 for officiating a same-sex wedding, had asked the committee for a budget of $3.2 million for his digital sleuthing, but he says he was allocated just a fraction of that.

Still, he was granted a rare, behind-the-scenes glimpse into not just the January 6 attack. He also believes he identified the insurrection’s central player: Trump’s former chief of staff, Mark Meadows. Riggleman handed the special committee 2,319 text messages Meadows sent or received from the election through Biden’s inauguration, which he says reveals how deeply conspiracies have now “metastasized” in today’s Republican Party.

“What it shows is that QAnon conspiracy theories have saturated every level of the GOP,” Riggleman says.

The coordination included members of Congress, the wife of a Supreme Court justice, myriad lawyers, little-known aides, and, of course, Trump’s most ardent supporters. Riggleman also revealed a mysterious nine-second phone call placed from the White House switchboard at 4:34 pm on January 6 to 26-year-old Anton Lunyk, who has since pleaded guilty to entering the Capitol. Despite these findings, the former intel officer bemoans not being able to go all the way down the meme- and hashtag-laden rabbit hole.

“Thousands of documents are great, but millions of lines of data are better. And so when you look at call detail records or open source intelligence research or you look at social media, those types of things can tell you a lot,” Riggleman says. “And I think it can actually direct the way that you investigate more than bringing people in who lie, plead the Fifth, or sometimes conveniently forget things.”

The real story, Riggleman contends, isn’t Trump. (“If you indict Trump, his polling numbers are going to go up,” he says. “So good luck.”) Trumpism is now gospel to an online army of devotees, hundreds of whom are now running for state and local offices. No matter which party comes out in control of Congress once the dust settles on Election Night, the next Congress is guaranteed to have Donald Trump’s stamp on it. The GOP candidates on the ballot next month include 291 who say they wouldn’t have certified Biden’s 2020 victory, according to the Washington Post. Of those, 171 are running in safely Republican districts.

As a former member of the House Freedom Caucus who has deep libertarian leanings (he farms his own hemp), Riggleman is worried about the digital takeover of a party he used to love, respect, and doggedly fight for. “You also have to figure out who the hell is pushing these radicalizing ideas over digital channels because that’s where it’s happening too,” Riggleman says.

Thousands of Trump supporters took his post-January 6 deplatforming as their cue to follow their leader off Twitter and Facebook and into a new world of almost-anything-goes social media apps, like Trump’s own struggling Truth Social, or Parler, which Kanye “Ye” West plans to buy. Those apps suck up the most recent coverage, but other apps continue to attract new and frustrated users.

There’s Gab (where QAnon devotees feel safe discussing ever-evolving conspiracy theories), GETTR (a “free speech”-focused app founded by former Trump aide Jason Miller), Rumble (think YouTube for the far right), MeWe (think Facebook for Trump Republicans), and CloutHub (if Twitter and Facebook had a baby). Even Reddit is helping Trump successfully spread ungrounded conspiracies about ballot-stuffing in Arizona.

Many on the right are also increasingly employing popular messaging apps like Telegram, which allows private groups to include as many as 200,000 members, and Signal, popular for its promised end-to-end encryption. That includes many of Trump’s most motivated followers, which we know from the dramatic spike in users they both attracted after Silicon Valley firms started their post-insurrection purges.

Then there are forums like 4chan, 8kun, and Endchan. Movement-inspiring memes, dangerous conspiracy theories, celebrations of violence and violent rhetoric all abound on these hubs connecting kindreds who proudly consider themselves social outcasts set on upending the “normie” society most of us inhabit.

As the select committee now prepares its final report on the preparation and planning leading up to the savage assault on the Capitol on January 6, 2021, the right has moved on. And in laying the groundwork to leave a Trump-sized imprint on this year’s midterms—including upending voting laws in countless battleground states and recruiting thousands of new pro-Trump poll workers to “police” local polling locations—the former president’s acolytes are also proving to be a few steps ahead of their opponents in their plan to capture the White House in 2024.

Just as an escalator helped Trump glide into the center of US politics, Riggleman says, the real story is the online gears, lubricants, chains, and steps lurking just under our feet. Likewise, unless more attention is paid to these means of political production, this new political order is something we all should get used to.

“We’re in a post-truth era, but we’re also in a post-Trump world—where those belief systems are baked in, and we’re going to have to deal with this for decades,” Riggleman says. “We need to look at going faster, harder, and better with more technology and more resources in that arena.”

[noumenovels]

𝕎ℍ𝕐 𝕀 𝔸𝕄 𝕒 ℙ𝔸𝔾𝔸ℕ

So, why become religious? It may seem increasingly irrelevant to the world, and many people want to leave it behind as something unintelligent, like Richard Dawkins, or Bertrand Russell, who’s quoted as saying: “Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines.”

But not only am I joining a religion, but one supposedly supplanted by monotheism.

Weren’t we supposed to believe in less and less gods to reach this enlightened atheism? Monotheists are Atheists towards every other god, and we were supposed to become full atheists after that. Why am I going back to believing in many and all gods? Especially as a former atheist.

Well, this is the story about exactly how I came to choose to go backwards on that progress.

You can say that it started when I grew out of my edglord atheist phase and became a (LaVeyan) Satanist. What? I grew out of being an edgy atheist and became an even edgier one? Not exactly. In middle school, I was big into reddit Atheism, and you better believe I was cringe as fuck. You better believe if I had a time machine --(Along with trying out the original coke recipe [1])-- one of the first thing I'd do is give middle school me a big slap to the face.

Eventually (thankfully) I grew out of it come the start of high-school. I came to understand that religion came naturally to humans. Hell, I had a front row seat to that considering reddit/new atheism had practically become one.

Understanding that about religion, I turned to Satanism. If religious behavior like searching for a higher purpose was inevitable, I thought I might as well have joined one, and since I was as of yet unconvinced of religious arguments, I turned to one of the only "Secular" (In massive air quotes) religion that I could philosophically justify.

And even though that philosophy and religion is strictly materialist, It got me thinking in spiritual ways. What was more was me getting into Søren Kierkegaard, and started working him into my own Satanic philosophy.

This went on for a good while before I started questioning my "faith" again. I forgot what caused me to question it again, but I did. I decided to put it to the back-burner and focus on it later.

fast forwards a couple months after that, and I was getting back into the swing of trying to be a writer (I'm pursuing writing novels, should probably have mentioned that earlier) and, under the influence of Neil Gaimen's American Gods and Rick Riordan's novel universe, I sought out to write my own mythology crossover story, where all world mythologies existed and had to do battle with a new pantheon that was emerging.

Part of the writing process was research into the mythologies themselves. Greek, Norse, Egyptian, Roman, Native American, Aztec, Japanese, whole shebang.

I forgot what happened or where I was looking, but I ran into the idea that none of, or most, of these cultures didn't take a literal interpretation of their myths.

Which wasn't odd to me at the time. I already knew that, contrary to cringe reddit retards on r/atheism such as Aron Ra, Mediaeval church-men and clergy didn't think that the bible was literal (for more on this, check out the History for atheists blog, that guy knows his shit and does his research).

But that did get me into looking not just at the mythologies, but at the religious practices of these cultures, so I could learn how the Gods were viewed from the worship angle.

A few miles down the rabbit hole and I was reading about philosophy of religion and basically converted to reconstructionist paganism.

Currently, I find myself drawn towards Anglo-Saxon Heathenry and Celtic/Irish/Scottish Polytheism, as those two religions can be seen as part of my heritage (English on my Moms side, Scottish on my Dads side), though, not to say that heritage is all there is. I don't care what race you are, you can worship any god granted you respect the traditions attached. Folkists should shit the fuck up about race and go back to being irrelevant.

What a journey, right? Going from reddit atheist, to enlightened regular Atheist, to Satanist, and now a Polytheist.

Now, what were the arguments in question that converted me?

The arguments came from a myriad of sources, such as John Michael Greer, Steven Dillon, Oceam Keltoi on YouTube, and even Søren Kierkegaard and his stuff on religion and belief in a god. Although this time it's Kierkegaard in a Polytheist context. And this came at a time when I was questioning my at-the-time faith, so I was more receptive to these arguments, not that they would have not convinced me otherwise.

My argument for Polytheism is that both monotheism and even atheism relies upon special pleading in regards to religious experience. religious experiences roughly being defined as experiences interpreted as having spiritual or divine origin during religious practice.[2] If tumblr doesn't have word limits, I'll go on to explain the argument.

If this arguments convinces you, Great! If they don't, also Great! I'm not an evangelist looking to convert you to save your soul from Ragnarök or whatever. Again, this is story time, not wanting to convince you time.

How are atheism and Monotheism special pleading? well, firstly, let's address Monotheism since that's the easiest and shortest one to explain.

Given that monotheists only posit one god, they need to find some way to dismiss other's experiences in order to continue to hold that there is only one god. This is usually done one of three ways:

Arguing that the entities experienced are actually demons.

Arguing that the entities experienced don't exist.

arguing that the entities experienced are their gods in disguise.

They all engage in special pleading since they present arguments can can be evenly matched by other religions and their arguments.

Why Woden and Lugh Demons and Christ is the only god if I can just as easily proclaim that Jesus is just a highly powerful Elf or a Leprechaun? And it's the same sort of argument for the other two. Why do your gods exist and mine don't? or, Why are my experiences just your god in disguise or misinterpreted if I can just as easily say that Christ is a misinterpretation of Thunor, the real savior of mankind?

regardless, the arguments presented can be said the same way going anyway.

Then the Christians pull out their bibles and shout: "But We Have The Word Of God, Here! We Have Textual Evidence Revealed To Humanity!"

As if I can't also cite the English poem "Beowulf" or Lebor Gabala Erenn, AKA The Book of the Takings of Ireland, AKA The Book of Invasions.

For more on this argument, I'll direct you to a video explaining this argument which came from John Michael Greer's book "A World Full Of Gods: An Inquiry into Polytheism"

Now, onto the Atheists. How do they engage in special pleading?

Atheists typically chalk experiences like that to the brain playing tricks on the individual in question. something like chemicals and other feelings at work.

However, I could ask how they know other sensations aren't also mental products of things that aren't also there.

The consistent skeptics on this acknowledge that the brain-in-a-vat theory is unfalsifiable, but at least implicitly, they choose the validity of experiences when they also ask for evidence of God, something they can experience.

But to say that material experiences (five senses) are valid and mental experiences (dreams, divine/spiritual) are not is a form of special pleading. It posits one form of experience is valid while the other is not, despite holding equal weight on the face of skepticism.

But if you can't be certain either way, why believe in the Gods?

It all goes back to Søren Kierkegaard. I decided to take the leap of faith that he was talking about that individuals should do. and Taking that leap was the greatest decision I could say I could make.

Also. While I'm writing this, Nick Land, another philosophical influence of mine, is currently talking a lot about god on his twitter (circa, mid January 2023).

As well as Justin Murphy, who is also an Accelerationist, styles himself as a "Secular Catholic". So belief in a god is not incompatible with Accelerationism, which is the political philosophy I second most style myself as (Second to Paul-Emile de Puydt's "Panarchy" [3])

It might make sense given what Deleuze and Guattari (hereafter: D&G) have said about God "being a lobster"[4]

Whenever we're talking about D&G the lines between the two blur due to their conception of "virtuality/actuality" (or the virtual being more real than the actual), but it's safe to say that when they speak of God they are likely referring to the transcendental thing-in-itself as they are continental philosophers in the Kantian tradition, and Kant believed that the thing-in-itself was God (or at least it was the last place for a god to hide).

I'm not well read in D&G, so don't take what I'm about to say as gospel or anything to go on, but a lot of that sounds like semantics. When I refer to Gods as a polytheist, I'm referring to actual individuals cognitively independent entities the same way people normally talk about a God or the Gods.

But regardless of the Accelerationist take on God, I don't see classical theism or classical polytheism as incompatible with accelerationism.

To me, at least, accelerationism is concerned only with the material world and how social codes update, get corrupted, or withered by bugs. With scarce few exceptions, I don't see any sort of tradition metaphysics as incompatible with it.

If you've read this far, I'd give you a cookie. but since we're not in person, best I can do is send you an amazon link to my favourite kind: https://www.amazon.ca/Chips-Ahoy-Rainbow-Cookies-258g/dp/B08T313YP6/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2WOQ55FICOFCR&keywords=chips+ahoy+rainbow+cookies&qid=1673830756&sprefix=chips+ahoy+rain%2Caps%2C259&sr=8-2

Shit I referenced:

[1] https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/cocaine-coca-cola/

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_experience

[3] https://www.panarchy.org/depuydt/1860.eng.html

[4] https://youtu.be/v4eY6QrIh3A

[nautilusopus]

do you have any favorite books?

Coraline by Neil Gaiman is the obvious answer lol. Still my favourite book to this day, obviously hugely influential in my own bullshit. Seriously check it out if you can find a copy, it’s pretty short and absolutely worth your time.

The Devil’s Storybook by Natalie Babbitt and its sequel (The Devil’s Other Storybook) are more of an anthology of short stories starring the Devil, who occupies every role from vague background presence to put-upon protagonist that are funny and thought-provoking and genuinely clever and that pissed enough people off that it was a banned book for a while. “The Imp in the Basket” is the kind of short story I wish more people knew about and wanted to sincerely discuss what actually happened at the end.

ugh i haven’t read a book i actually enjoyed in over ten years at this point uhhhhhh

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut. I think potentially the only classic I had to read in school that I genuinely liked and actually finished in one sitting on my own time. And I think the first time any themes a book had for me actually clicked and I was able to do any kind of meta analysis of it completely unprompted. Baby’s first literary comprehension. Slaughterhouse-Five is a semi-autobiographical piece set during the bombing of Dresden in WWII, and also some period in the “future” (the 80s lol), and ALSO on an alien planet as the protagonist is abducted and taken to a human zoo. The story is told achronologically, and I feel is hugely influential to my own shit where it skips around, building a narrative almost entirely by juxtaposing specific moments in time against one another. It's surreal and thought-provoking, and if you only ever make yourself read one classic, it should be this one. *

Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C. O'Brien. Bear in mind this thing has fuck-all to do with the movie, and while in retrospect I now am able to enjoy the Don Bluth movie as its own thing, I remember being fucking furious when they busted out a goddamn magical amulet. It’s a different kind of story, but is more magic realism than outright fantasy, and the titular rats get a lot more backstory, as does the late Mr. Frisby iirc.

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo. God that book fucked me up. It is about a snotty porcelain toy rabbit that gets dropped overboard a ship into the ocean one day, and the various owners he has over the years as he changes hands, and the impacts they have on him, and it makes me fucking cry every time and is to date the only book to ever do so so fairly warned be ye. Fucking shit I wish I could dish out gut-punches half as good as that book could.

The His Dark Materials trilogy by Phillip Pullman, which in and of itself is an angry rebuttal against everything the Chronicles of Narnia has to say, as well as Christianity in general. You’ve probably seen shit floating around about the HBO series, which I have not watched. Lyra is a horrible gremlin child running wild around a parallel universe Oxford until she accidentally stumbles onto a conspiracy that goes all the way to the Church which unofficially runs the government and eventually starts an interdimensional war against God. The first two books I think are better than the last one, which really drags in spots (and in a twist of irony had Lyra’s sexual awakening censored from the North American release which like... come on man). Absolutely worth checking out though, especially if you’re an angry pedant like I am.

Tales from the House of Bunnicula, by James Howe. Honestly the entire "Bunnicula Expanded Universe"(???) is great, but in particular I'm mentioning this sub-series because I think it actually kind of taught me to write. The framing device used is that they're being written by Howe's pet dog and sent in to him to publish by proxy. On top of having just a lot of good storytelling tips for beginners (how to create a plot! how to create character motivations! how to write female characters like actual people!), they're also fun little satire pieces of various kinds of genre fiction. Like, the third book is a riff on Harry Potter and making fun of all of JKR's worst writing tendencies, like her compulsion to phonetically write out everyone's fucking accent.

these days i'm just too picky to enjoy books anymore idfk. you have no idea how fucking disheartening it was growing up with actual taste (snooty snooty snoot) and watching everyone go nuts over stuff like divergent and eragon and maximum ride and fuckmothering twilight and shit. like, yeah misogyny absolutely played into why people shat on it because teenage girls aren't allowed to like anything, but lest we forget they were still shitty books guys. that never stopped being true or anything. and you were a social pariah if you didn't like them and that sucked. and then a couple ostensibly good series, like harry potter and artemis fowl and hunger games just dropped the fucking ball for one reason or another as they went on and never picked it back up. i think the mid 2000s almost singlehandedly just killed any real enthusiasm i had for reading altogether (this is not even getting into the fact a lot of really fucking bad "grown-up" novels came out around that period too. whole era was a baaaad time for books). so here i am writing, i guess, because i've decided you fuckers can't be trusted to make anything good yourselves. if you want something done right...

(*I like to think if Cloud wrote a book he’d write something like Slaughterhouse-Five. I think at one point I was even working on a fic along those lines -- a fictional story vaguely based off the burning of Nibelheim and the fall of Shinra that was written, in-universe, by Cloud several years later. Abandoned it just because of how fucking complicated it would be to do. Might come back to it one day.)

[jadelotusflower]

I posted 2,019 times in 2021

81 posts created (4%)

1938 posts reblogged (96%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 23.9 posts.

I added 1,186 tags in 2021

#awesomelady - 505 posts

#beautiful clothes - 136 posts

#lol - 133 posts

#star wars - 125 posts

#luke skywalker’s incredible face - 71 posts

#smallville - 57 posts

#all that is pure and good - 50 posts

#clark x lois - 38 posts

#queen gwen - 37 posts

#awesomeladies - 34 posts

Longest Tag: 106 characters

#on a scale from neo to anakin skywalker how well did you handle prophetic dreams of your loved one’s death

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

“the only thing that matters to you is still here”

Some minor thoughts...

The above quote really stood out to me - choice has always been such a big concept in this franchise - who has it, and what they do with it. What if the machines (or whoever is in control now) have learned from Neo’s choice at the end of Reloaded - Trinity over his role as the One, and is using it against him. We see Trinity in (presumably) the real world hooked up, but what if she can’t survive outside of the simulation? What if every time Neo remembers his true life he’s forced to choose whether to stay in the Matrix with her, or live outside without her? 

Also, the lyric of “and the Red Queen’s off with her head” over three scenes of Trinity? Chef’s kiss.

I wonder, with all the emphasis on the pills, mirroring, code going backwards, etc, whether Lana is going to toy with the concept and meaning of red and blue. The known dichotomy is represented in Neil Patrick Harris (blue glasses) and Priyanka Chopra (red glasses), the former presumably prescribing the blue pills, while the latter is reading Alice in Wonderland.

But then it seems to switch - Yahya Abdul-Mateen wears red twice and offers Neo the red pill, so on the face we’re meant to associate him with Neo waking up/freeing his mind, but he also seems to be a construct - evoking Morpheus but not actually Morpheus, perhaps to make Neo think he’s on the right path/can rely on what he knows/remembers when it’s just another level of control to keep him bound.

Then we have Jessica Henwick with blue hair (I already adore her), a colour we associate with the system, and yet she also has a white rabbit tattoo and appears to be fighting agents. With all of the callbacks to scenes from the original but slightly altered, I think we’re meant to question whether anything is the same as we remember/expect right down to which pill means what - Lana is going to go meta with this.

Basically - we don’t know what we think we know.

26 notes • Posted 2021-09-10 12:36:51 GMT

#4

10 favourite movies meme

@findswoman tagged me to post gifs from my ten favourite movies - thanks, this was fun! I have so many favourite movies and am sure I’m leaving some out, but all of these I have watched many, many times, so ten faves in no particular order:

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41 notes • Posted 2021-03-07 12:41:21 GMT

#3

It’s Cold in that Fridge: The Case of Nakari Kelen

Since The Case of Mara Jade has been doing the rounds again, I’ve finally gone back to this post that has been sitting in my drafts for literally years. So let’s honour this absolute badass who deserved better:

Once upon a time, the Star Wars universe was but six films (and a tv series) in the story of the Skywalker family. But beyond George Lucas’ story was an absolute boatload of books, comics, games, and other materials that made up the Expanded Universe. When Disney purchased Lucasfilm and the rights to the Star Wars saga, everything in this universe was decanonised and deemed “Legends” - some aspects of this universe were retained or re-purposed, others sit in Disney’s figurative vault and will likely never see the light of day (and seeing how the ST turned out, maybe that’s for the best).

But this transition between Legends canon and Disney canon was not so simple, because the nature of publishing meant that there were novels approved during the time of Legends canon that would be released in the time of Disney canon. In particular, there had been the planned trilogy ��Empire and Rebellion”, set between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back, with each novel from the perspective of one of The Big Three.  

Razor’s Edge (Leia) and Honor Among Thieves (Han) were released prior to the Great Canon Split of 2014.  But while the Luke-centric novel had been planned, it was not due to be released until well after the Split. So Heir to the Jedi (so called as an homage to the Legends progenitor Heir to the Empire) became one of the first books of the Disney canon.

What does this background have to do with Nakari Kelen?  Perhaps nothing, but I do wonder how the writing process was affected by the shift from Legends to Disney - was the novel a relic of the old EU with any reference the LFL storygroup didn’t like excised during editing, or was it a trendsetter for the new EU, a Sign of Things to Come?  

The most salient point being, of course, that Nakari Kelen - like so many love interests before her - was not allowed to go along her merry way at the conclusion of the novel, but was shoved into the fridge.

If there was one constant of the Legends EU, it was that Luke Skywalker’s love interests couldn’t catch a break. Mara Jade naturally lasted the longest relationship-wise, with almost twenty years of marriage to Luke before some bright spark decided she had to go (as per the aforementioned case study). But before Mara there was Jem, Shira Brie, and Gaeriel Captison (who came close to escaping the curse), and in the Legacy of the Force series they brought back sole survivors Akanah and Callista, only to kill them off for good too (and rather brutally, if I may add).

So perhaps when Kevin Hearne began writing HttJ within the confines of the Legends continuity, he was merely sticking to the status quo, or perhaps once subsumed by Disney they needed to make sure Luke's slate was clean (so to speak).  And I can’t put all the blame on Hearne since I don’t know whether it was his idea, or LFL mandated - but regardless it was a poor decision.

The root cause of fridging, imo, is limited imagination.  How best to cause your male protagonist pain if not kill off someone they love, or at least have strong feelings for? The answer is of course, easily. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The Luke Skywalker of HttJ is fresh from his victory in ANH, a lieutenant in the Rebellion: young, not dumb, and full of...

Nakari Kalen is an absolute Queen a civilian volunteer and crack-shot sniper who loans her ship Desert Jewel to the Alliance. Luke is immediately attracted to her, they bond over a mutual love of fast ships and leaving behind desert home planets, and engage in the inexpert flirting of two nineteen year olds while also risking their lives several times over.

I want to make it clear: I actually really like this book. It's a breezy read, almost serialised as The Early Adventures of Luke Skywalker, and is ofttimes genuinely funny. And credit where it’s due to Hearne, many of of the supporting roles in the novel are female. Other than Nakari, there's Soonta, the Rodian who gives Luke her uncle’s lightsaber, Sakhet the Kupohan spy, and the Givin cryptographer/math genius Drusil Bephorin. In a genre where male characters are often the default for these kind of roles, it was nice to see, but makes the regressive fridging of Nakari even more egregious.

Luke and Nakari make a good team fighting brain-sucking monsters and Imperials, but more importantly they have fun together - she encourages him to work on his Force skills, and he successfully moves objects with his mind for the first time (leading to Nakari adorably dub him "a little noddle scooter"). It's a very sweet, if brief, relationship, and a respite from the danger of the mission. They spend the night together (leaving the reader to decide exactly what happened behind closed doors), and share a kiss before splitting up to try and escape bounty hunters. No prizes for guessing what happens to Nakari immediately after she received the Skywalker Kiss of Death.

I assume there were two motivating factors for why Hearne and/or LFL couldn't let Nakari live:

1. If she survived, fans would wonder why she doesn't appear in ESB/subsequent material.

I recall this bandied about on forums back at the time of the book's release, and to that I say - so what? Fans are always going to wonder, and try to paper over the gaps in canon, to make up their own headcanons to explain any any perceived inconsistencies. It's certainly no reason to kill someone off.

It is in fact possible for two young people to have a romance that just fizzles, or doesn’t work out for whatever reason - it should not require great maneuvering or explanation. If Nakari doesn’t show up in the next book in the timeline, what about it? The reader is smart enough to assume she and Luke broke up, decided to just remain friends, whatever. But it seems that the only way for a female character to exit stage left is for her to die, which is bullshit.

And actually, there's no reason why she couldn't have shown up again. ESB and RoTJ cover a month and a few days, respectively, of Luke's life - just because there was no mention of Nakari doesn't mean she didn't exist at that time, whether or not she and Luke were an item. She could have made an appearance in a subsequent novel, or Rebels, or the comics - she could have become a recurring character, showing up when the Rebellion needed her, or - heaven forbid - even have her own comic/book/show! Her existence in Star Wars canon didn't need to begin and end with Luke Skywalker, merely to service his plotline and backstory and abandoning the richness of her own.

No, the only reason Nakari had to die was to facilitate this:

It was a blow to the gut, realizing what that sudden absence meant. I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but I had felt Nakari's life snuffed out through the Force, and into that void where she had shone anger rushed in - anger, and a cold sense of raw power and invincibility...I took a step to join in the hunt but stopped, breathing heavily, unaccountably sweating even though I felt so cold inside and the power of the Force roiled within me... I shook with emotion and power, and none of it felt the way the Force had before...I saw what kind of space it was , a black hole that would always be hungry no matter how much I fed it. I might never feel warm again if I didn't get myself under control.

Luke feels the dark side and is tempted by the boost of power it offers him, but immediately identifies it as dangerous and unnatural. I can understand why Hearne wanted to include this - it is a book of firsts after all: Luke's first solo mission, his first time using telekenisis, and ending with story with his first experience of the dark side makes sense. But it wasn't necessary, which leads to:

2. How to push Luke to touch the dark side without killing someone he has romantic feelings for?

Also, obviously, shite of the bull (or nerf, if you prefer). Even if this brush with the dark side was absolutely necessary for the novel's climax, there's any number of ways it could be achieved. At this point, Luke is fresh from losing important people in his life - Owen and Beru, Ben, and Biggs - lumping another death on top of that a narrative trick for Luke to react not only to losing Nakari, but the others as well. But it's cheap, the first card in the deck, and why not show a bit of imagination? Luke is young and inexperienced enough at this point that any number of things could be the catalyst - the whole book he's struggling with his growing powers, why not try and reach too far in the firefight with the bounty hunters, his anger and frustration with himself in not doing enough trigger the dark side temptation? It would work thematically and doesn't involve a fridging that ultimately has very little payoff.

Because Nakari is killed less than ten pages from the end of the book - afterwards Luke grieves, but ultimately chooses to honour her memory and be grateful for what he learned with her, recommitting to becoming a Jedi. It's all very surface level, and once again a female character's death facilitates a male character's development. Was it so imperative that Luke lost someone he cared about as part of this story? Sure, this was a time of galactic civil war, and it's far from unrealistic that these stories have a high body count, but who to make collateral damage remains an authorial choice, and in this case Nakari Kelen was (a) a female character of color, (b) a love interest of the protagonist - not just of this book, but the entire Original Trilogy.

I don't know to what extent (if any) race had to play in the decision. I'm sure there was a segment of the fandom absolutely livid that Luke Skywalker kissed (and maybe had sex with) a black woman. Was her death LFL hedging its bets, or demonstrative of the general lack of attention/respect they show their characters of colour?

In any case this was a chance to stand out from the old EU and it's fridge full of Luke's dead girlfriends, but instead they chose to introduce and kill off Nakari for the sole purpose of Luke's manpain and character development, and that's gross.

And then there's this:

A grisly yet reliable fact about custom bounty hunter ships is that you can always count on them to have body bags stashed somewhere for the easy transport of their kills. They often have built-in refrigerated storage, too.

NAKARI IS KILLED AND LITERALLY STORED IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WAS READING.

See the full post

49 notes • Posted 2021-05-24 13:23:33 GMT

#2

OMG!! I never noticed that about Lois being dressed in yellow on smallville before!! I picked up on the red and blue of course, since Clark almost always wore nothing but red and blue (until he switched to white, grey and black in season...9?) it was pretty obvious what they were implying with Lois also bring dressesed in those colours. But Lois being dressed in yellow to represent the missing piece...I love it! Now I want to rewatch Lois’ eps of smallville and note which eps they had her in yellow.

Thanks for the ask anon! I’m always up for Smallville talk. Lois’ costume journey is quite a thing! They really went hard on the red and blue - the yellow was not as frequent but definitely present, and there are a few episodes where I think it was absolutely deliberate.

One is 4x04 Devoted (”See you around, Smallville”):

Yellow tank top - blue t-shirt - red bag, foreshadowing the Superman legacy right here, even this early on when they’re still kind of annoyed with each other (but are also bantery-flirty at the same time).

Fast forward exactly six seasons and we have 10x04 Homecoming:

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49 notes • Posted 2021-02-02 03:42:54 GMT

#1

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71 notes • Posted 2021-12-01 01:45:32 GMT

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[stevetonygames]

Spotlight Post: Canon Soulmate Bonds

Yooo, this is a blog takeover, Mizzy here, ready to champion one of my favourite fictional causes: canonical soulbonds in the Marvel universe.

We all love a good soulbond fic. Words on your body, names on your wrist, red string of fate...so many glorious versions, and all of them *completely awesome*. The problem sometimes with starting a soulbond fic, though, can be all the worldbuilding required to make it work. But what if I was to tell you that no worldbuilding was necessary? That you could technically write a soulbond fic without having to set it in an Alternate Universe? What if you could set your soulbond fic *directly in main canon?*

Marvel 616 delivers you a canonical soulbond mechanic… not once… but at least *twice*. There could be more. There’s a lot of comics to go through and I’m only smol. But here’s the two I know about and I’m here to introduce you to today. :)

The was a ripple of mild confusion around fandom when Kevin Feige announced that the Eternals were getting a title movie in the next phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Created by Jack Kirby in the 1970s, in a wild combination of mythological fascination and spite at DC comics for not letting him finish his New Gods saga, the Eternals were an offshoot of humanity, created by the Celestials for humanity’s protection; this reason for their existence would lead them into their ongoing conflict against the deadly Deviants. There have been a few Eternals runs (notably one run by Neil Gaiman, which did not serve to bring the Eternals the commercial success Marvel was searching for with the title, that nevertheless remains the most fun and accessible Eternals volume), but they’ve not yet really reached wide-reaching traction among even the most die-hard comic fans. The MCU might change that, and here’s hoping, because I love these nearly-immortal idiots, and I’m hoping not to be alone in that for much longer. :D

But even my Eternals-happy soul has to admit, Eternals canon for the most part is dense and can be convoluted, and the spellings—both of their character names and one of the main fun parts of their existence, the Mahd W’yry—are enough to give one a headache. The idea of the Eternals is that they’re long-lived and have interacted with human history over the years in various impactful ways. You might think at first glance that you’ve never heard of the Eternals Sersi, Ikaris, Makkari, but I think you wouldn’t find Circe, Icarus, or Mercury unfamiliar names.

The Mahd W’yry is a symptom of the Eternals being so long-living. In order to stop them going insane, the Eternals have to bond into something known as the Uni-Mind, which basically squishes all their consciousnesses together into one, where they can share memories and blend temporarily into one mind. Regularly bonding into the Uni-Mind allows them to stave off the Mahd W’yry. (Yep, that’s just a headache-inducing spelling of ‘mad worry’, we know.)

Anyway, did you need to know all this? Eh, maybe, a little bit of canned backstory is always handy for you to briefly glance over and promptly forget. Because along with some dense mythological adventures, some glorious angsting across beautiful landscapes, and that ability to turn into a big massive floating brain, the Eternals also gave us a beautiful gift:

The Gann Josin.

In Avengers #361, Ikaris comes down to Earth and decides that Sersi needs to be bonded to Dane Whitman, an Avenger who canonically didn’t have any powers, he was just a *really good guy*, destined for tragedy. Honestly. That’s his bio. Really good guy. Destined for tragedy. The character creation in the 90s was peak talent. Dane, sadly, was in love with another woman, but did this matter to Ikaris? No. Apparently the Eternals don’t know about the dangers of letting himbos like Ikaris have life-changing powers, like the ability to create the Uni-Mind. 

Because the power to control the Uni-Mind also gives an Eternal the power to form a Gann Josin bond. And that’s what Ikaris does in Avengers #361—he forces a Gann Josin bond on Eternal Sersi and tragic human Avenger Dane Whitman.

Gann Josin (sometimes Gan-Josin because what is spelling continuity in Marvel comics) is both the name of the bond, and the title given to an Eternal and their chosen life-mate. It has a bunch of cool side effects. Both Gann Josins get glowing full-red eyes. It’s a really intimate tiny form of the Uni-Mind (without the part where you become a big floating brain), and creates a small scale mental union. The Gann Josin bond makes the Eternal and their partner lifelong soulmates. As the bond progresses, it creates a telepathic/empathic bond that strengthens in time. According to the Eternal Sprite, humans are rarely chosen by Eternals for the Gann Josin.

Now, Dane Whitman does manage to break the Gann Josin several issues later. But… it’s not easy. It’s rare. When Dane manages it, it is called an “astounding act.” It’s pretty dang hard, in other words. There’s every chance your chosen Gann Josins won’t have the mental fortitude of Dane Whitman to break it. (Although, we’re talking about Steve and Tony, and are there any bigger stubborn idiots in the universe? Probably not.)

But Mizzy, I hear you saying. I don’t want to write about Ikaris, even if he is a party king and that sounds pretty nifty. I don’t know anything about the Eternals and I don’t want to go down that gnarly rabbit hole.

That’s totes fine, my friend. I am here to save you. Because in very recent canon, during Jason Aaron’s turn at the helm, the Eternals are all dead. Very dead. That whole Mahd W’yry thing got ‘em, it got ‘em good. But before Ikaris died, he granted his Uni-Mind power to someone we all know and love.

Yep. Tony Stark. Tony Stark currently has the power of the Uni-Mind.

Which means that Tony Stark can now Gann Josin people.

In Avengers #361, Ikaris performs the Gann Josin by basically just pointing his hands at Sersi and Dane and some light goes WHEEEEEEE!! in their direction, and bam, this rare and special bond is done. And Tony Stark can do that now. To anyone! Unfortunately Ikaris is dead and didn’t leave Tony with an instruction manual. But the point is, he *can*. You can make up all sorts of fun things with this canonical fact (or write your own version because lbr Canon Is Dead; Long Live Canon.)

There are so many possibilities. Does Tony deliberately learn how to use it so he can bond himself to Steve? Does Tony *need* to be able to hear Steve’s thoughts (to thwart some bad guys) and thus end up soulbonded forever to Steve in result? Is Tony’s power activating at random because he can’t control it, and he ends up soulbonding everyone around him? Does he just subconsciously bond himself to Steve without consciously meaning to? Do Tony or Steve want to try it for science?

Gosh, I love comics.

But WAIT. There’s MORE.

It’s not just 1990s comics going ham on the soulbond idea. No, we got some *this year*. Canonical soulbonding? TWICE? In one universe? Two different kinds??

And this time, it’s not in a D-list Marvel title. We’re up the ranks to the big leagues this time, folx, with a brief trek to the world of the Fantastic Four.

In Fantastic Four (Vol. 6) #15, we’re introduced to a Spyre citizen called Sky, a winged team member of the Unparalleled (more cosmic-powered superheroes), who work under The Overseer. (The Overseer, in a burst of beautiful retcon in the way Marvel comics keeps doing to us, is apparently the entity who is responsible for giving the F4 their powers. Huh. The more you know.)

On the planet Spyre, all children are brought before something called The Great Eye. This measures them against the radiation signature of everyone on the planet, divining who their perfect match is. 

Sky looked into The Great Eye, only to find out her match was Johnny Storm, who was 44 light-years away at the time. Long-distance relationships can be tough. Anyway, plot happens, the F4 get stuck on Spyre, get told they can’t leave, and Sky tells Johnny Storm that she is his soulmate. Oh, and she attached a soul binding onto him while he slept. Neat, huh, all the bodily autonomy people get in this universe before being force soulbond to people? So neat, much consent, wow.

Johnny feels a connection to Sky, which is supposed to let us know this lack of choice is a good thing I guess. The Overseer wants Sky to renounce Johnny and crush the F4 which obv doesn’t happen, so of course she leaves The Unparalleled and skips off to Earth to be with Johnny. 

Who knows how this relationship is gonna last. I mean, you can look at the rest of Johnny’s relationship history and have a good guess. Who knows. Anyway, Reed and Sue are each other's soulmate, and also share a “Soul Binding”, so there’s some canonical proof right there that maybe this system has some validity going for it.

The soulbond for this form takes the form of a golden bracelet worn on the upper arm, that Sky explains her people call a “Soul Binding”; it represents them as being soul-mates. This bracelet can only be removed by your soulmate. This soulbond doesn’t seem to come with any extra powers, it’s just to show that The Great Eye has measured their radiation signature and declared them a match that is supposed to mean they’re perfectly compatible in every way: spiritually, mentally, and physically.

I don’t know about you, but I have a pretty good feeling that Steve and Tony might just have matching radiation signatures… Or what if Steve and Tony have perfect matching signatures….with other people? (Someone else on Spyre believes Sky is *their* perfect match, after all!) What if Steve has feelings for Iron Man, but he’s a perfect match with Tony Stark? I feel faint already just thinking about it.

So here you go. Two canonical types of soulbonds for your fannish consideration. Feel free to ask me questions! You can find me on tumblr (@mizzy2k) or on discord (addy#0908).

[rockislandadultreads]

Fantasy for you: a reading list 

The Charmed Wife by Olga Grushin

A sophisticated literary fairy tale for the twenty-first century, in which Cinderella, thirteen years after her marriage, is on the brink of leaving her supposedly perfect life behind. Cinderella married the man of her dreams--the perfect ending she deserved after diligently following all the fairy-tale rules. Yet now, two children and thirteen and a half years later, things have gone badly wrong and her life is far from perfect. One night, fed up, she sneaks out of the palace to get help from the Witch who, for a price, offers love potions to disgruntled housewives. But as the old hag flings the last ingredients into the cauldron, Cinderella doesn't ask for a love spell to win back her Prince Charming. Instead, she wants him dead. Endlessly surprising, wildly inventive, and decidedly modern, The Charmed Wife weaves together time and place, fantasy and reality, to conjure a world unlike any other. Nothing in it is quite what it seems, and the twists and turns of its magical, dark, swiftly shifting paths take us deep into the heart of what makes us unique, of romance and marriage, and of the very nature of storytelling.

The Vanishing by Jayne Ann Krentz

Forty years ago in the small town of Fogg Lake, "The Incident" occurred: an explosion in the cave system that released unknown gases, causing peculiar effects on its residents, such as strange visions and ominous voices. Not wanting the government to get involved, they chalked it up to the hallucinogenic effects of mushrooms. Little did they know these effects would linger through the generations.... Residents Catalina Lark and Olivia Dayton have been best friends for years and own an investigation firm together, using what they call the "other sight" to help with their business. When Olivia goes missing, Cat frantically begins the search for her alone when the town does nothing about it. When scientist Slate Trevelyan shows up, she has no choice but to accept his help even though there's something about him she just can't trust. The duo discovers someone is hunting the two witnesses of a murder in Fogg Lake fourteen years ago—the very one Cat and Olivia witnessed as teens, one that they couldn't prove happened. Cat and Slate's search for Olivia takes them down a rabbit hole that is far more dangerous and mysterious than they ever expected, and with a killer in their midst, neither of them can foresee who will come out alive.

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke

Piranesi's house is no ordinary building: its rooms are infinite, its corridors endless, its walls are lined with thousands upon thousands of statues, each one different from all the others. Within the labyrinth of halls an ocean is imprisoned; waves thunder up staircases, rooms are flooded in an instant. But Piranesi is not afraid; he understands the tides as he understands the pattern of the labyrinth itself. He lives to explore the house. There is one other person in the house—a man called The Other, who visits Piranesi twice a week and asks for help with research into A Great and Secret Knowledge. But as Piranesi explores, evidence emerges of another person, and a terrible truth begins to unravel, revealing a world beyond the one Piranesi has always known. For readers of Neil Gaiman's The Ocean at the End of the Lane and fans of Madeline Miller's Circe, Piranesi introduces an astonishing new world, an infinite labyrinth, full of startling images and surreal beauty, haunted by the tides and the clouds.

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

Between life and death there is a library, and within that library, the shelves go on forever. Every book provides a chance to try another life you could have lived. To see how things would be if you had made other choices . . . Would you have done anything different, if you had the chance to undo your regrets?” A dazzling novel about all the choices that go into a life well lived, from the internationally bestselling author of Reasons to Stay Alive and How To Stop Time. Somewhere out beyond the edge of the universe there is a library that contains an infinite number of books, each one the story of another reality. One tells the story of your life as it is, along with another book for the other life you could have lived if you had made a different choice at any point in your life. While we all wonder how our lives might have been, what if you had the chance to go to the library and see for yourself? Would any of these other lives truly be better?

[carriagelamp]

~ Queer Lit 30 Day Book Challenge ~

I decided to do this challenge I came across for June! Originally it was designed as a “day-by-day” thing, but my June was way too hectic to do a write up every single day… so I decided to make a nice compilation for the end of the month instead!

This is perhaps not the “purest” form of the challenge but I wanted it to be personal for me. Growing up when I did and where I did, I had very little exposure to queer books, especially age-appropriate queer books. That being said, there’s some books on this list that are really only “queer” by technically, or through a secondary character rather than the main character. I debated whether to include these but finally decided that, yes, I would. I owe it to myself. Even though some of these books that aren’t “as queer” as other, they were (or are) really important to me as a queer person and my journey is understanding that, so I wanted to acknowledge them!

More info about the books and the challenge under the cut!

Day One: First Queer Book You Remember Reading

Color by Taishi Zaou and Eiki Eiki

Remember how I mentioned a lack of available, age-appropriate queer books? I was one of those kids who was definitely exposed (probably too young) to queer manga/yaoi. It wasn’t necessarily what I wanted, especially as a wee ace teen, but it was the best I had at the time and it meant the world to me at the time, to see same-sex relationships even if looking back on them is very “YIKES”.

I’m sure I read others before this, but Color is one of the first that I really remember and which I a) actually owned and which b) wasn’t completely repellent in hindsight! I haven’t reread it in probably over a decade so I have no idea how it stands up, but at the time it read like a much more “realistic” account of two teenagers developing a crush and starting a relationship and as a questioning teenager it really helped me realize that this was a real, viable option.

Day Two: Queer Book That Reminds You Of Home

The Witch Boy by Molly Knox Ostertag

I hummed and hawed about this one for a long time because honestly I tend to read books that make me feel far from home. I decided to go with The Witch Boy though because it’s a story that challenges gender norms and stars a large family out in the woods, running wild and exploring magic, and honestly it gives me vibes that remind me of vacationing with my extended family. We’re also partially ginger and inclined to run wild in the woods. If we knew magic we’d have used it for sure.

This book is about 13 year old Aster, who lives in a family where the women all become witches and the men all become shifters. Aster, however, has no interest in shapeshifting and instead finds ways to study magic and learn the arts of witchcraft while constantly being pushed out by his female relatives… though everything might change when a new danger, that may or may not be connected to Aster studying magic, begins to appear.

Day Three: Queer Book That Has Been On Your TBR Too Long

Beneath The Citadel by Destiny Soria

That was an easy choice, this has been sitting on my bookshelf for months, staring at me accusingly every time I enter my room. I’m really excited to read it (Magical heist? Rebellion? With an asexual protagonist? Yes please) but for some reason I have not gotten around to it. Some day, baby, some day.

Day Four: Queer Book With A Name Or Number In The Title

George by Alex Gino

George is an absolutely charming middle grade novel about a child named George who the world perceives as male… but who knows she’s definitely a girl. The novel begins when her class decided to put on a play about the novel they had just read: Charlotte’s Web. George is desperate to play Charlotte, her favourite character, but isn’t even allowed to try out because it’s a “girl’s role”. George and her best friend struggle with how to handle this problem and manage George’s secret amid elementary school and home drama.

This book is really adorable – it was a nice, easy, cozy read for an adult, and would also make a great read aloud to elementary-age children if you want to introduce them to transgender characters.

Day Five: Queer Book Where The Protag Has A Fun Job

The Magic Misfits by Neil Patrick Harris

Not actually a queer protagnoist, but a queer side character who plays a major role in the series. Mister Vernon, one of Leila’s fathers, has arguable the coolest job: he’s a retired stage magician turn magic shop owner, which is complete with large rabbit, hidden room, and tons of fascinating gadgets to help a young practical magician learn their trade. He is hands down one of the neatest character in the series and is a major catalyst throughout the series.

The first book follows Carter, a runaway orphan who practices street magic to get by, as he runs away from his horrible uncle and winds up meeting a gang of magic-loving friends in a small town. Hiding from his uncle is only the beginning though, and the mysteries surrounding the town and Mister Vernon become thicker and thicker as the series goes on.

Day Six: Favourite Queer Graphic Novel

Check, Please! by Ngozi Ukazu

There’s lots of fantastic queer graphic novels out there, but I have to name Check, Please! as my favourite (and not just because I’m Canadian and am legally obligated to at least show interest in a hockey story). Check, Please! is the friggin cutest story about Eric “Bitty” Bittle, former figure skater and avid baker, who joins the Samwell University hockey team. The story is told in the form of Bitty’s vlog as he recounts the bizarre quirks of the Samwell hockey team, his struggle to overcome his fear of checking, and his growing crush on the team captain, Jack. Seriously guys, this is cavity-inducing sweetness and you can read it all online for free, here on tumblr @omgcheckplease or at its own website, checkpleasecomic.

Day Seven: Queer Book You Often Reread

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan

Another book I haven’t reread in years, but this was the first queer novel I ever read (and owned!) so I read it obsessively, first the copy from the high school library and then my own copy (which is, let us say, well-thumbed by this point). It was pure fluff, in an aggressively diverse, relentlessly accepting, rainbow-coloured high school and it was exactly what I wanted in high school, and it still makes me happy whenever I remember it. It’s a straight-up high school romance, pretty traditional to the genre, but it has the most delightful supporting cast you could ever ask for. Maybe I should reread it again this summer…

Day Eight: Queer Book With A Happy Ending

Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst

This was a bit more of a “yeah it was fine” book for me, but honestly… queer people deserve some average, run-of-the-mill YA fantasies. As far as my normal reading preferences go, run-of-the-mill YA fantasies are my bread and butter. And this one has a cute sapphic romance to go with it. It’s about Denna, a princess with a dangerous secret: she has a magical Affinity for fire, despite being betrothed to the prince of a kingdom that aggressively prosecutes and fears magic-users. So now Denna is in a strange land, trying to hide her increasingly volatile magic, solve an assassination that rocked the kingdom, and deal with the growing connection between her and the prince’s wild sister, Mare. It has court intrigue, a murder mystery, horses, and lots of confused sapphic pining so it’s totally worth picking up if you want a light summer fantasy adventure.

Day Nine: Queer Book With (Over) 100 Pages

River of Teeth by Sarah Gailey

I decided to try to get as close to 100 pages as possible! River of Teeth is a 114-page novella that I haven’t quite finished (work and covid stress happened) but which I am fucking losing my mind for. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s peak alternative history, about queer hippopotamus-riding cowboys in Louisiana during the early 20th (late 19th?) century. Like… I don’t know how to emphasize how unbelievably cool this book is. Genderqueer demolition expert with a giant crush and a penance for making things blow up and attempting to poison guests when they’re bored?? Check. Gay gunslinging hippo-riding cowboy with an angsty backstory (and also a giant crush)? Check. Sexy, fat, badass lady con artist with an albino hippo that she spoils? Check. Like damn guys. I’m not done the book and I’ve already bought the sequel because I know the second I pick it back up I’m not gonna stop until I’ve ploughed through it all. This book is the epitome of “refuge in audacity” and “rule of cool”. Is it over the fucking top? Absolutely but that’s the point.

Day Ten: Favourite Queer Genre Novel

The Red Scrolls of Magic by Cassandra Clare

I’ll be honest, I’m a little shaky on what counts as a genre novel (isn’t… everything… a genre??) so I decided to interpret it as “slightly trashy YA supernatural fantasy” because that sure is a hella specific genre I’m weak for.

I really thought I was done with the Shadowhunter novels, I thought they were a goofy series I left behind in teenagerhood that I could look back on with amused indulgence. And then I found out that there was a novel specifically about Alec and Magnus and! Oh no! Ding dong I was wrong. I fell back in hard because listen… I love them. They were one of the first canonical same-sex relationships I ever read about in an actual novel, they meant a lot to me then and still mean a lot to me now. I have nothing to say to defend myself here except that this book wrecked me and I can’t wait for the sequel.

Day Eleven: Queer Book You Love In A Genre You Don’t Read

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O’Connel

I am very rarely a slice-of-life / romance genre sort of person. I like my stories cut with a heavy dose of fantasy, scifi, action-adventure… something. So a graphic novel that’s not only a romance, but one about an unhealthy relationship and infidelity is like… super outside my usual range of reading material. But it was very much worth the read! The art was stunning, and the complicated emotions it tapped into really touched me. I’m very happy to have read it, and was so damn satisfied by the end.

Day Twelve: Queer Book With A Strong Sense Of Place

Belle Révolte by Linsey Miller

Linsey Miller is one author I very actively follow, I love her works and they always have very distinct, complicated worlds with unique societies and magic systems. Belle Révolte was her latest book and followed a prince-and-the-pauper type of story, in which wealthy Emilie des Marais is determined to learn noonday (magical) arts in order to become a physician, someone who can actually work to make her home a better place… but this is not something a proper lady would ever be allowed to do. So she flees her finishing school and meets poor, but magically gifted, Annette Boucher and offers her the chance to switch places. Annette goes back to school as “Emilie” and gets to hone her skills at the midnight arts while Emilie will use her name to sneak into medical school and fight her way up the ranks to physician. This is a challenging enough task, with rebellion roiling just beneath the surface and the country about to slip into a arrogant war that threatens the lives of hundreds…

Day Thirteen: Queer Book That Really Made You Think

Our Dreams At Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani

This is a four book manga series that is completely breath-taking. It’s touched by magical-realism and completely drowned in visually stunning metaphors and symbolism. Seriously, I’ve reread these books multiples times trying to digest how the wide variety of symbols overlap and contradict and compliment and challenge each other. I still haven’t really gotten a solid handle on it, it’s very fluid, so yeah… definitely makes me think.

The story starts with Tasuku Kaname who believes he may have just been outed as gay by a high school friend, and feels like he’s watching his entire world crumble around him. He is seriously considering taking his own life, when he runs into the mysterious woman “Someone-san” and winds up leading him to a drop-in center that’s run by a local non-profit, and is also a hub for a number of queer people in the community. The books follow Tasuku as he grows, learns, makes mistakes, and confronts his feelings, along with a number of other members at the drop-in center. It is completely beautiful, optimistic, but also quite stark and harsh at its look at homophobia and transphobia in modern Japanese society and how it can effect people in different ways. I just bought book four and can’t wait to read it and see how everything ends.

Day Fourteen: Queer Book That Made You Cry

The Marrow Thieves by Cherie Dimaline

Holy shit guys. Listen. Listen. If you don’t read any other book on this list, please consider reading The Marrow Thieves. It is hands down the best book I’ve read so far this year. Another book that doesn’t have a queer character as the protag, but as one of the main supporting characters and listen, his story fucking destroyed me as a person. That romance just… aaaaaaah. AAAAAAAAH.

Anyway. The Marrow Thieves is a Canadian dystopian novel. It takes place in a post-climate change world in which society has been ravaged – partially due to the wildly different and extreme weather patterns, but also through a strange disease that has spread through the population that has left people completely incapable of dreaming. Now unable to rest, process their lives, and dream of a future, people are being driven insane and only one group appears to be immune: North America’s First Nations people appear to be unaffected. And so they begin to be harvested, rounded up and collected in “school” in order for people to suck the marrow out of them to give to white people afflicted by this disease. The Marrow Thieves follows a First Nations boy named Frenchie as he flees the recruiters and tries his best to survive in this post-apocalyptic like wilderness, banding together with other First Nations people who are heading north, where they hope to find communities of their own people with whom they can shelter and start to rebuild their lives.

It’s a YA level novel, not very long, and such an insanely good read. I cannot emphasize enough PLEASE GO READ THIS BOOK. 

Day Fifteen: Queer Book That Made You LOL

Mostly Void, Partially Stars by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor

Welcome to Nightvale always makes me laugh and it was a lot of fun to get to read the transcripts of the episodes. I’m a sucker for novelizations/transcripts of shows. It was a nice nostalgia trip and gave me an excuse to go back and relisten to some of my favourite episodes too! If you’ve never gotten into Nightvale… hey, it’s a classic! Podcast is fucking stunning if you’re into podcasts, and if you’re not but would enjoy a weird, queer, eldritch horror comedy then try the book! It’s the first “season” compiled in text form, exactly how it’s heard in the show.

Day Sixteen: Queer Book That Is Really Personal To You

Jughead volume 1 by Chip Zdarsky et al

Including this one because gee golly it sure did make me want to fight a lot of people for quite a while. It was one of the first stories I ever found/read that had an explicitly asexual main character… (and a character I already really loved! Which I now got to feel an even stronger connection to! It was so fun and validating!) so it was super awesome how like half of tumblr decided for a year there that this was apparently a cardinal sin. Imagine… one single version of old, long standing comic series deciding to retcon a character to represent a heavily under-represented community… imagine being so fucking angry about that that you decide to start a hate campaign on the internet. So much fun to live through that as an ace person. Anyway, these comics were nothing amazing but I sure do love them aggressively out of pure spite, even now that the aphobia on tumblr has died back down I will hold this to my chest and adore it.

Day Seventeen: Favourite Queer Book Sequel or Spin Off

The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee

Honestly do I even need to say anything here? Is there any queer person who hasn’t read Mackenzi Lee’s The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue series? If you are someone who hasn’t read it yet… go do that?? Absolutely stunning, one of my all-time favourite book series. It’s the perfect combination of hilarious and goofy, intense action, heartfelt character development, and a dash of “wait was that supernatural or??” This sequel was fantastic, this time focusing on Felicity, Monty’s sister, and her quest to become a physician despite being a woman in the 18th century. Awesome look at femininity, feminism, asexuality, and race. (Also… OT3? OT3.)

Day Eighteen: Favourite Queer Book By A Favourite Author

Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett

One of those “ehh is this technically queer? Not really but close enough, it is in my heart” books. It was one of the books I read as a teenager when I was still beginning to seek out and try to explore queer lit in so much as I could.

Terry Pratchett is, hands down, my favourite author, and though he doesn’t tend to write explicitly queer literature, his exploration of gender through allegory is top fucking tier. Everything to do with the dwarves in his series is fascinating, and a really great challenge/critique/exploration of gender, and this is the book that takes it to the next level (and brings in at least implicitly queer characters). It’s about Polly Perks, who lives in a small, war torn nation, choosing to join the army in order to find out what happened to her brother. However, as tradition dictates, she can’t join as a girl… so she disguises herself as Ozzer, a young man. There’s a lot of twists and turns, and as always Pratchett delivers fantastic humour and just absolutely delicious satire.

Day Nineteen: Queer Book That Changed Your Life

And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson

This was the book that made me realize that I, as a queer teacher, could have queer kid lit in my future classroom. Maybe a comparatively small revelation, but a really important one to me. It made me realize that this didn’t need to be something I kept a secret in my professional life and which could really positively influence children, especially queer children. It was the first queer children’s book I ever bought.

Day Twenty: Favourite Queer Book Series

Candy Color Paradox by Isaku Natsume

Alright… I’ll admit it, this isn’t actually my favourite series, but I’ve used my favourites in other spots. And this is a good one! Definitely more of an actual “yaoi” than the other manga I’ve included (here there be sex) but it has a very different vibe that what I’m used to from that type of manga. The main pair are actually both capable, mature adults, with careers they actively care about, and who get together in the first volume! 

The rest of the series is less about them angst-ily toeing around their relationship, and much more about them learning to grow as a couple and balance their work and relationship and society. It’s funny and sweet, and I really enjoy these two losers. It’s a very low-stakes enemy-to-friends-to-lovers story, in which Onoe (a reporter) and Kaburagi (a photographer) are paired up on a news story they’re supposed to dig into together. What starts as a bickering rivalry gradually becomes respect, friendship, and love~ Onoe is a gremlin of a protag, so he’s a treat to follow.

Day Twenty-One: Queer Book That You Recommend A Lot

Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller

To repeat myself: Linsey Miller is awesome! This is my favourite book of hers, the first of a duology. It’s kind of like an intense, edgy Tamora Pierce novel with murder. In this world, the Queen has a team of assassins known as the Left Hand. They’re an elite group that keeps the Queen safe and does the dirty work that needs to be done to protect the kingdom and keep the encroaching nations at bay. When the assassin Opal is killed, a contest is announced to find the new Opal. People from all over come to complete for the honour of being one of the Queen’s royal assassins, including gender-fluid thief Sallot Leon. Sal has some deep motivations to become Opal that go beyond a loyalty to their kingdom, but they’re going to have to survive their competitors if they even wants a chance at it… (Sal generally goes by either she or he in the books, but I’m using they in this instance since it’s in a more general sense.)

Day Twenty-Two: Queer Book That Made You Take Action

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

Uhh, I don’t really have any books that made me take action per se, but this one sure gave me a lot to think about. It’s about deep sea mermaids who originated from the pregnant slave women tossed into the ocean to drown during passage to North America. From those dying women, this race was born and were taken in by whales, raised and protected until they could descend into the deep ocean waters, to form their own safe society. Their collective past is so painful though that as a species they’ve developed a very short term memory. But a people can’t live without any ties to their roots and so one of them, the Historian, holds all the memories for their entire species and shares it with everyone once a year so that the community can be connected to their ancestors before once again returning the memories to the Historian for safe keeping. Yetu, the current Historian, is so overwhelmed by these memories, that she can no longer take it – she flees her people, her responsibilities, and her pain and escapes to the surface instead...

Day Twenty-Three: Queer Book By An Author Who I Killed Is Dead

Cybersix by Carlos Trillo

I cannot emphasize enough, this is not actually a queer comic, it is in fact a very homophobic, transphobic and sexist comic written by a horrible person.

That being said, he’s dead and I own it now the TV series was essentially about a genderqueer superhero and a very confused bi biology professor who has a crush on both personas. I had a passionate crush on both personas as a child, and I will cherrypick this comic until I die in order to enjoy the only kickass genderqueer/genderfluid noir antihero I’ve come across. I am valid and I am not open to debate or discussion. Do not read this comic it’s horrible (but consider watching the show).

Day Twenty-Four: Queer Book You Wish You’d Read When Younger

The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang

This is such an incredibly soft story with the nicest art. There’s so much understanding and compassion in it and its exploration of gender and self-confidence and being true to yourself would have been very reassuring to me as a child, especially by late elementary/middle school. 

Day Twenty-Five: Queer Book In A Historical Setting

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

A retelling of Achilles’ and Patroclus’ relationship from childhood to the Trojan war. So yeah, you can imagine that this was also a candidate for Day 14 :’) I haven’t read this one in years but god it was lovely and emotionally destroyed me as a person.

Day Twenty-Six: Queer Superhero Book or Comic

Overwatch: Reflections by Michael Chu and Miki Montillo

I don’t really read superhero stories very often (the comics have always driven me a little bonkers, trying to find a way to enter the totally unapproachable Marvel/DC canons, and the MCU burnt me out years ago for every other sort of superhero story) so this is the closest I can get. Tracer’s a superhero yeah? Anyway, I, like every other queer person in the Overwatch fandom, lost my fucking mind when this dropped for Christmas a few years back and officially declared Lena Oxton not only the face of the entire franchise but also a lesbian. It’s an adorable little comic and Tracer’s girlfriend is a sweetheart.

Day Twenty-Seven: Favourite Queer Children’s Picture Book

Prince & Knight by Daniel Haack

There’s a number of sweet queer children’s books that are popping up these days, but this is my favourite just because it’s less about “explaining the gays to children” (though those books also have their place) and more of a cute little fantasy adventure in which the actual protagonist is gay. It’s about a prince who sets out to find himself a bride who can help rule by his side, but it quickly becomes clear that he isn’t interested in any of the girls. Instead, when a fire breathing dragon threatens his kingdom, he meets a brave knight who fights along side him. It’s very supportive and the art is lovely.

Day Twenty-Eight: Queer Book That Made You Feel Uncomfortable

Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann

This is a book with an asexual protagonist that I was originally really excited for. I know there are a lot of people out there who really enjoy this book and connected with it, but it didn’t do it for me. Maybe because my expectations were too high, but the protagonist’s experience with asexuality was vastly different than my own and the narrative voice ended up rubbing me wrong (and let’s be honest, slice-of-life romance is NOT my usual genre at all). So it’s not “made me uncomfortable because it’s Bad And Wrong” more just… totally vibed wrong with me. Maybe the perfect book for other people but definitely not for me, I had to return this one unfinished because it’s portrayal of asexuality just made me so deeply uncomfortable.

Day Twenty-Nine: Queer Book That Made You Want To Fall In Love

The Gentleman’s Guide To Vice And Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

This book had to make it on here somewhere, and honestly it could have gone in a lot of different spots, but I chose to put it here because the relationship between Monty and Percy is so incredibly sweet and authentic it really does make you want something like that. TGGTVAV (for anyone who has somehow not heard of it) takes place in the 18th century, and is about Monty, his best friend (and crush) Percy, and his sister Felicity going on a final “hurrah” tour of Europe before Monty's father finally tries to pin him down in England and force every part of Monty that’s deemed “unacceptable” out of him. So Monty intends to live this summer up… until everything goes off the rail and the three of them are suddenly fleeing across the continent with assassins at their heels and a strange, stolen artifact in their possession.

Monty has a lot of growing to do in this novel, and that’s one of my favourite things about it. For his and Percy’s relationship to ever have a chance, Monty needs to learn and change and actually communicate with other people, and it makes the relationship feel strong. Not a fluffy, surface level romance that often happens in YA but something built from the ground up by two friends who really want to make it work. Ahh, it’s lovely. One of my favourite novels.

Day Thirty: Queer Book With Your Favourite Ending

My Brother’s Husband by Gengoroh Tagame

A two-book manga series that was completely stunning. It deals with queer relationships and homophobia in a very stark, real-world manner that you don’t often get in manga, while still being incredibly loving and sympathetic. The book is about Yaichi, a single father whose estranged brother (Ryoji) recently died. One day, a Canadian named Mike arrives, introducing himself as Ryoji’s widower. Mike had come hoping to visit his late husband’s homeland to try to get some closure, and Yaichi ends up inviting Mike to stay. The whole story looks Japan’s societal biases, through Mike’s experiences, Yaichi’s thoughts, feelings and prejudices, and those of his daughter who adores Mike. 

Seriously, this is one of the kindest, most earnest looks I’ve ever seen to internal prejudices that critiques them without demonizing the person who feels them. Instead it lovingly embraces grief, growth, and love. This series made me cry multiple times, was good enough that even my straight brother practically ordered me to go out and buy the second book when he finished the first, and the ending was just *chef’s kiss*

Honourable Mentions

A few books I really wanted to fit on my list somehow but couldn’t quite manage it, so here: All Out an anthology of historical fiction short stories about queer teens. The Tea Dragon Society series and Princess Princess Ever After, graphic novels by the amazingly talented Katie O’Neill. Heartstopper a webcomic turn graphic novel by Alice Oseman about a pair of rugby players. The Different Dragon a cute picture book in which the boy has two moms and which is about accepting different ways of being. And Lady Knight a part of Tamora Pierce’s Protector of the Small series because because Kel is word-of-god aro(and/or ace) and I’ve adored that series and Kel since I was about thirteen so by god I’ll take it.

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Now for those that wanted to do their own challenge, I found it on @gailcarriger’s blog.