#never forget hidan

[tea-stained]

can y'all believe Hidan is still screaming his ass off in that hole

[wispforever]

same village

[shipping-all-ships]

I think if the internet and phones existed in naruto, the akatsuki would be hella popular on twitter. like yeah people try to cancel them and get them banned but it never works because watching these mess of a human beings (and others) interact with each other is just too damn funny. 

They only follow each other members despite having 40 mil followers each, save for Hidan who follows 2 other accounts who spout the same Jashinist rhetoric 

Every time Itachi does a post, Deidara is underneath it hate commenting, which leads to an obviously one-sided fight that gets 100k likes

Actually most of Deidara’s rants on the other members are viral hits, especially since someone pointed out his bingo book says he’s 19 and is being a literal petulant teenager about everything

Hidan is the most popular due to him just posting whatever thoughts fly through his head, unfiltered. Unfortunately, he is canceled at least once a week because of this but it doesn’t work

Actually most Akatsuki members get cancelled but yet it just won’t stick

Itachi’s posts, while sparse, always have Sasuke hate commenting under them. All he ever responds with is “foolish little brother”

They also usually feature his birds bringing him weird things or some dango he got.

Kisame exclusively does shark facts or these really beautiful breathtaking pictures of the places he and Itachi travels, with captions like “off to poison some fisherman’s wife lol WATCH YO BACKS” Somehow this never makes it to the target in time.

Kakuzu doesn’t post anything. Ever. Yet him going on to other members posts and telling them to stop wasting money like that is unbelievable popular. Hidan always responds with the flipping off emoji

When Deidara isn’t ranting about the other members, he’s posting explosions and ranting about art. This has led to him and Sasori arguing on Twitter and people cheering them on.

Sasori only posts pictures of his puppets or short POV videos of him working on them. Many people comment “hey isnt that x?/haven’t they been missing since xxxx?” to which Sasori only responds with a :)

Sasori’s profile pic was blank until he posted a pic of him with Sandaime Kazekage and the caption “new profile pic :)” and just watched the storm in the comments.

It didn’t get topped until Deidara posted a pic of him and Sasori with Gaara’s body captioned “got another one of your kazekages BITCHES lmaooooo”. 

Konan’s twitter is the most normal one of them all, usually just picture’s of Amegakura or origami. However, many of them also feature the chaos the other members are causing in the background or their confused faces as she hands them origami things

The pinned comment is a series of her handing them increasingly intricate and large origami and the increased confusion/distress on their faces

Pein only posts his monologue about the world needing to know pain and it’s clowned on by everyone, including the akatsuki members

Hidan’s most popular post is a series of photos of their afterparty of getting a jinchuriki, most notably featuring Deidara vomiting with Sasori holding back his hair, Pein passed out cuddling a bowl of chips, and Kisame absolutely lost in the sauce (aka a puddle outside)

They all have Orochimaru blocked (so does most of ninja twitter)

[moumouton4]

What Reboots Their Systems Right Away || Naruto characters x reader 2

A/n : Had this idea a while ago. Thanks to Sasuke ✨

Naruto Headcanons series : 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

Warnings : Contains both fluff and NSFW ( under the cut )

Masterlist ⚜

I don’t give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblogue it

Words count : 1691

Sasuke Uchiha : He just forgets everything that is going on when he's having a hard time and you kiss his forehead. After the reboot he is right away able to think and analyze what is happening properly around him. You just got this power to soothe him and help him get out of these negative thoughts. And he knows how to return the favor in his own way when you're the one stuggling

Shikamaru Nara : Being an adult is such a drag. Work is such a drag too. So when he finally has time to have time for himself and chill under the clouds he can't help but keep thinking about other matters. So when you join him and put his head on your thighs and untie his hair before ruffling his hair. In an instant he feels his brain pause, unable to think anymore, his eyes just looking at the shapes of the clouds in the sky above you, enjoying his day off, occasionally looking your way to make sure he isn't dreaming. He's just so thankfull to have a little marvel like you in his life

Naruto Uzumaki : He is a simple man so just seeing you wearing his iconic black and orange jacket make butterflies erupt and happily fly in his stomach while he can't help but freeze in his action. You just look so small in this jacket it makes him want to carry you around on his back like a little backpack so bad - yes if he ever catch you he'd walk around the village with you like that. So you better try to avert other people's gaze because you ain't gettting down anytime soon

Iruka Umino : You're his first so when you bury your face in his neck or chest he needs a little minute or two to process that you're touching him. Willingly and physically - oof O.O But he loves it so much because like this he feels like he can protect you from everything the world send your way

Sai : He always takes such a great intake of air when he feels your hand press on his naked lower back and caress his pale skin. Of course he knows it's affectionate but he still feels like he needs to hold his breath. Sometimes you have to remind him to breath because he starts turning blue and that's actually never good

Hidan : The sight before him that always leave him breathless is when he sees your necklace dangling from your robe when your fiercly fighting your opponent. Should he add, his necklace that he gave you shortly after your meeting to the glory of Jashin. Once he took a hit in the jaw because of how entranced by you he was. He knows you may not approach this god the same way as him but he can't help but find you so sexy fighting with him for his believes. And should I add how strong you look when you're getting those corps ready for his ritual

Sasori : He always think about work so if you wanna make him aware of your existence you better be speak his language... and not make him wait. So everytime you come up with another corpse of a powerfull being for his puppets, he can't help but look at you with stars in the eyes as his brains fuel with all the ideas that come to him and… he doesn't work anymore and he stays fixed in the void. You know he is kinda happy when let's go of his tool and motion for you to sit on his lap while he works. And oddly having you here with him doesn't make him think one scond that he is losing his time

Itachi Uchiha : He's just on autopilot when you lift his shirt from behind and put your hands on his shoulders before massaging his aching muscles gently. Like he leaves you in charge of him and the rest he can't handle, not that he cares when your hands are just literally easing his pain like this. You've always been with him from what he recalls and he never manages to keep a conversation with you while your hands work on his shoulders and back. It just puts him to sleep right away, and that's good because he deserves it

Gaara : The wheels in his brain just stop when he hears you say the words "Dance with me" just after you put on some music and pulled pulls him flush against your body and asked him for a slow dance. His brain gets surrounded by so much questions like "Is he worthy of your time ?", "Will he disappoint you ?", "Will you hate him after you discover he CAN'T dance ?" that his brain overheats and he stands there motionless while you try to dance with him. Fortunately a kiss on the cheek and it's good he works again, but he is as red as his hair

Hashirama Senju : You tell him so much that he is strong that he sometimes forgets how strong you actually are. So when he sees you fighting an opponent fiercely, he can't help but look at you in awe as if you were Madara himself the strongest kunoichi he has ever seen. He just 🤩 and shower you with praises

Tobirama Senju : He may be really gifted to hide his feelings but gosh he can't help his face from showing how stuned he is when he sees you acting possessive towards him. Like the glare you send those people who dares to get to close to him. Like he could just ask them to leave him the fuck off but he just loves to see you this mad... it's kinda hot you know... but this he won't tell you

NSFW starts here :

Kakashi Hatake : He always freezes and stares at you as if he was trying to bore holes into the top of your head when he sees you get on your knees in front of him at unexpected times. Like literally everywhere you know no one will walk in on you, on a hill, in the forest, on the training grounds, in the Hokage office... but it doesn't mean you're going to actually do something. You just love to see him all hot and botherd like this. But don't you worry he's going to get back at you sooner than you expected

Orochimaru : Really very little can get to him but when he sees you acting so cold and violent, he can't help but have his piercing eyes widen or his head wipe in your direction if he hears you cursing at someone. Like wow, you're clearly not the one to get walked on. It's lowkey such a turn on a right now he just wants to throw you over his shoulder like a potato sack and take you to your room to ravish you

Yamato : His brain really needs time to process when you go to him and ask him to zip up the back of your dress. Like bro is so flustered, but you're not helping either because you enjoy seeing squirm while trying to avert his eyes from your ass when you're wiggling it at him. After this he has to try so bad to stay cool and not have a hard on just before you guys leave your house. Don't worry he'll keep this in mind for when you get bad though

Deidara : You love the high pitched screams that come out of his mouth when you do that. Sometimes he doesn't know what gets into you for doing this and frankly you neither. But you just take his hand and lick his palm where one of his other mouths is and well he can't say it's not turning him on but still he's an artist his mind shouldn't get clouded with those thoughts... "Fine just this time" he always says that

Neji Hyuga : He is so pure and he is always flabbergasted when you tell dirty jokes about his Byakugan and the fact that he can at any given moment look through your clothes "Hey Love are you enjoying the view" and he's like ". . . . . . . . . Y/n my eye are always this colour" "Then how can I know you're not perving all the time ?" you always end up laughing your ass off when he becomes red as a tomato and just stares anywhere but at you. He knows you're joking but if you only knew what he was thinking about "A little look wouldn't hurt right ?"

Rock Lee : Okay so hear me out everytime he says he's going to go around the village 500 times on his hands if he doesn't do somethig else before you always add playfully "and if you can't do it either you're going to make me cum 20 times tonight" Of course each single time he gets red and starts stuttering... but be careful because one day he'll fail his task on purpose just to make your fiction a reality and the only think you're going to be able to utter will be his name

Madara Uchiha : He is also a simple man in his own way. All he needs to mentally disconnect from this planet is for you to grab his neck with your hand when when you guys are kissing. Like you just look so hot and sexy when you're on top of him taking control like this. But don't play your luck to much because he's going to fold you in half next time he fucks you

Genma : His brain shuts straight when you leans into him and and take the senbon that he holds in his mouth with your teeth. Your lips are so close to yours and he wants to kiss you so badly that it's the only thing he can think of, to undress you in the middle of the street and fuck you for being so cocky. That's his job not yours

~

~

A/n : I hope you guys liked it ! 🍋🍽 Again my requests are open 🔥💚

Taglist : @foxxymunson, @cl0vr, @ilovemanypeople, @glossy1pearl, @jane57sstuff

[or0ch1maru]

18+, this is so self indulgent I’m sorry. I’m a whore, a pervert whatever you wanna call it. Warnings: talk of balls, m oral receiving. Fem reader. Reader being called a perv. Reader being obsessed with her bf’s nuts

•

You love his balls. The sheer size, the weight. You always wondered how he could ever sit comfortably with them between his legs. You love the way they barely fit in your palm, or how you can just manage to fit them inside your pretty little mouth. The feeling when he’s deep in your ass, his heavy breeder balls smacking against your clit with each rough thrust, the rhythm causing you to reach your peak multiple times. When he’s feeling extra nasty, he’ll have you sitting pretty on your knees, patting your cheek with his tip before placing his nuts on your face. Looking down at you with that signature wolfy grin of his as he watches his dirty girl, knowing that your panties are soaked because of this filthy act. But your absolute favorite, is hearing his moans turn into whines(no matter how hard he tries holding back) Your small hand wrapped around his shaft, moving up and down as your tongue swirls around his base before popping a nut into your mouth. Especially when your tongue hits that one spot, causing your boyfriend to let out a whimper before his thoughts turn feral. Thinking of all the ways he’s gonna ruin you once you’re done. The times his cock is buried deep in your throat, the feeling of his balls pressed against your chin and upper neck is something you never wanna forget. It’s something you’ve engraved in your mind.

“So fuckin’ nasty, look atcha’. Pussy soaking wet, all cuz of these.”

Your boyfriend taunts, his hands cupping his nuts as he stands over you. Watching as your pupils blow out with lust, the way they glaze over as your mind is only on one thing.

“Want em so bad, here.”

He smirks as he plops them down on your face. Letting out a chuckle as your face almost disappears under his cock and nuts.

“Never knew my girl was such a pervert.”

•

TOJI, SUKUNA, KENPACHI, KAKUZU, HIDAN, KISAME, Satoru, Suguru, Grimmjow, Shunsui, OBITO, Itachi, dom Choso, Todo, Naobito, Nanami

•

[rashidax2]

Random Akatsuki Headcanons! (Once again, I was bored)

I feel like im forgetting some :(

★ Konan never runs out of toilet paper

★ Itachi, Zetsu, and Kakuzu read the ingredients before they drink/eat things

★ Hidan randomly screams "WHAT'S UP, BITCHES?!" whenever he walks into his room even if no one is in there.

★ Tobi sucks on his thumb while he's asleep

★ Pain bites his lips whenever he stubs his toe

★ Sasori once dreamed about sleeping on a tropical island in a bikini

★ Deidara prefers luke–warm showers

★ If Kakuzu existed in modern times, he would definitely own a gun collection.

★ Konan, Deidara, and Sasori would work at a club together to make fun of random people at the Bar

★ Itachi can make his thumb disappear

★ Pain punches walls when he's angry

★ Hidan secretly has a soft–side for babies.

★ Tobi likes his milk warm. The only time he likes cold milk is in the afternoon.

★ Pain is secretly very clumsy

★ Deidara accidentally sticks pencils up his nose whenever he zones out

★ Zetsu talks to his plant friends <3

[ladykissingfish]

(Blank) The Type Of Person …

Konan the type of person to sleepwalk to the kitchen at midnight, eat all the leftover pizza, put the empty box back in the fridge, wake up the next day forgetting what she did, and go around interrogating/threatening to kill everyone because dammit she was planning on eating that for breakfast!

Hidan the type of person to not shower for weeks at a time because he believes that drenching himself in cologne works the same.

Sasori the type of person to say he’s only going to read ONE chapter of his book this evening, end up reading the entire thing in one sitting, absolutely hate the ending and spend the rest of the next day writing a fanfic about it to “correct the mistakes”.

Kakuzu the type of person to insist that his birthday is “just another day” and “not a big deal” then be really, really hurt if everyone doesn’t make it a big deal.

Konan the type of person to seem very gentle and delicate at home, but when she goes to the gym she’s an absolute heavy-lifting beast.

Itachi the type of person to pour himself a bowl of Raisin Bran for the fiber then sit and pick out raisins until the bowl contains an even number of them.

Kakuzu the type of person that absolutely does not trust banks and keeps all of his money either under the bed or in his pillowcase, and everyone KNOWS this but nobody ever tries to rob him because they know this man counts his cash at least five times a day and will literally stab you if he thinks you took even a few cents from him.

“Tobi” the type of person to “confess” to everyone in the Akatsuki as to who he really is, but separately and secretly, so that each person believes that they’re the only one who knows the truth.

Obito the type of person to spend forever picking out little thoughtful gifts for his friends, then never give the presents to them because he thinks they’re not good enough.

Itachi the type of person that spends the first ten minutes in the shower just standing and staring blankly at the wall.

Deidara the type of person to speak vigorously and viciously about someone he doesn’t like, but then all that person has to do is give one teeny tiny positive compliment about Dei’s art and he does a complete 360 opinion change on them.

Kisame the type of person that watches himself work out, shirtless, in the mirror.

The type to wash the dishes right away: Konan, Itachi, Sasori, Kisame

The type to let the dishes sit in the sink until they’re “reminded” to do them: Hidan, Deidara,

The type to purposely do the dishes so badly that the others just do them before they do: Tobi

The type who make someone else do the dishes by threat of violence: Kakuzu, Nagato

The type to never use dishes, period: Zetsu

Deidara the type of person to start some kind of new diet every week. One week it’s cutting out added sugar, the next it’s going for a high protein intake, the next it’s intermittent fasting, etc. The routines usually last about 3 days before Dei gives them up in pursuit of something better.

Nagato the type of person to keep holding on to an old phone simply because the newer ones have gotten rid of the headphone jack and he despises wireless buds. Says it’s for aesthetic reasons but it’s really because he doesn’t get how wireless and Bluetooth works and feels too embarrassed to ask anyone to explain it to him.

Itachi the type of person that'll start going gray in his late teens and feverishly dye his hair at least once a week to hide this from the others.

Zetsu the type of person to be anal about buying “all organic” products at the grocery store and judge the others when they don’t. Conveniently ignores that organic products cost more money and most of the others don’t have the financial resources that he does.

The type to carry the groceries in, in multiple trips: Konan, Itachi, Zetsu

The type to attempt to carry all of the groceries in at once no matter how bulky or heavy: Deidara, HIDAN, Kisame, Tobi

The type to (threaten) someone else to carry in the groceries: Nagato, Sasori

The type to offer to pay someone else to bring in the groceries (but never does): Kakuzu

Kisame the type of person to constantly downplay his talents or abilities, while secretly being the most badass person to ever do anything, ever. Makes a fantastic poker player.

[smh-yoon]

akatsuki - fucking you dumb

a/n: if you didn't know, i have an akatsuki bf/gf scenario book on wattpad and i was writing something for pein today that got a little spicy, so i had to bring it here. this will include all nine members, not including orochimaru.

pairings: pein, konan, hidan, kakuzu, deidara, sasori, obito, kisame, itachi x fem! reader

genre: smut; fem! on fem!, male! on fem!

warnings: dirty dirty talk!! (praise and degrading), swearing, creampie, fingering, giving head - male and fem receiving, exhibitionism, threesome, possessiveness, choking, toxic behavior (obito), tentacles, spitting, manhandling?, pool sex ofc

enjoy ;)

PEIN

the cold wood of the desk brushed against your nipples with every thrust of pein's hard cock into your cunt, adding to the buildup of your approaching orgasm.

he had your hands locked behind your back, using them to tug you backwards onto his leaking dick as he threw his head back. the best part about him being such a skilled shinobi is that he had plenty of stamina.

slick was dripping down your thighs, and he'd already fucked you through your first orgasm. his fingers were pressing hard against your skin where he was gripping you, jaw clenching as he felt his own climax approach.

suddenly he was pressing you down against the desk, arching your back with one hand and setting an all new pace as he drilled into you. in moments, you were gushing around him, nearly screaming as he brushed you g-spot until he was pumping his load into you, cum dripping down your shaking thighs.

KONAN

konan's bare breasts were pressed against your back, nipples hard against your skin as she fingered you from behind.

she was determined to make you squirt for the third time today, tears already dripping down your cheeks as you jerked from the sensitivity of your aching cunt. you couldn't help arching into her hand, desperately seeking your orgasm.

the sheets under you were soaked in your cum, and konan's fingers were sticky with your slick from fingering you non stop. her other hand reached around your stomach as she began thrusting her fingers faster.

the other hand flicked at your clit, circling and pressing hard as you sobbed in pleasure. you came again, crying out as the intense sensation made you eyes roll back.

HIDAN

hidan's obnoxious laugh made you want to cry, choking on kakuzu's cock in your mouth and he fucked you harder from behind. he was so sure you were into kakuzu enough that he invited him into a threesome, not the kakuzu minded.

his fingers threaded through your hair, the tugging making your eyes rolling back as you swallowed around his thick cock. "just like that slut. couldn't live with just one cock fuckin' you, huh? had to have two."

your jaw went slack as hidan kept up his bruising pace, paying no mind to the increasing volume of the hums you could get out around kakuzu. hidan's voice reached your ears in the haze of the moment.

"gonna cum in you, then watch kuzu fuck my cum back into your cunt. show him how good you take it whore."

KAKUZU

kakuzu was still counting money in the corner of the room, paying no mind to you as you writhed on the bed, bound by long tendrils stretching from his form. two skinnier ones alternated thrusting into your pussy, another flicking your clit.

this was your punishment, for forgetting to pick up one of his bounties. no big deal, he could always get some other quick cash, but there was no way he was letting you off easy.

"kakuzu.. please!" you were so close to the edge it hurt, but he never let you cum. not for the past half hour you'd been tied with your hands above your head.

his eyes flicked lazily to you, gaze dark as a smirk slid onto his face. with a chuckled he sent another tendril your way, watching it slide around your neck.

"shut up, i have to restart now."

DEIDARA

long blonde hair brushed against your shoulders as your eyes rolled back, deidara's hand on your shoulder holding you up as he pushed his cock past your walls.

he'd made a bet with hidan that he could fuck you till you cried, and he was sure to deliver. you were in tears after the first orgasm, after he ate your pussy out the way he knew best. and another bet later, now he was determined to fuck you till he couldn't cum anymore.

hidan was sitting directly in front of you at the edge of bed in his own chair, cock pulled out of his pants, leaking from the tip. he'd been barking orders all night, telling deidara where to touch, cum, how to fuck you and your mouth properly. if you didn't hate hidan so much, you might've thanked him for the advice, because you were getting your brains fucked out.

he stood from his spot, coming close and grabbing your jaw roughly, watching you gaze up at him through hazy eyes. then he was spitting into your open mouth, watching you flinch and moan and deidara fucked you faster as he sat back down and enjoyed the show.

SASORI

sasori was quick to attach as many strings as he wanted to your limbs, controlling you just the way he wanted, his own personal fuck doll. he'd watched you finger yourself, fuck yourself with whichever synthetic cock he chose, and now he was watching you choke down his own.

he had all the power, and he knew it got you off too. never having to worry that pretty, empty head about having to do any work. he might as well keep you with his other puppets, if that's all you were good for.

a groan left his mouth as you choked around him, swallowing and moaning at the way he filled your throat.

when he looked back down at you, one of his puppets leaning against the wall caught his attention. his newest, and by far the biggest he'd built. he rung his fingers in your hair and pulled you off his cock, petting your face as you gasped for air.

"get up. we're doing something new."

OBITO

"what the fuck were you doing? huh? think you can run off to some other man?"

you were sobbing into the pillows, back aching as obito pounded into you. it hurt, so so good. he was using you however he wanted, you were his stress relief, but that didn't mean you could get away with whoring yourself out to the akatsuki. not that you actually did, he was just a jealous freak when it came to you.

he reached around your shoulders and leaned down, sweaty chest pressed against your back as he got close to your ear, nearly growling as he spoke.

"you remember no one will ever fuck you like this. you're fucking mine."

KISAME

one of kisame's ultimate fantasies was to let him hunt you down in the water, a predator-prey type situation. you always worried he'd take it too far, maybe hurt you, accidentally drown you. as his thick cock slid into your pussy for the first time that night, warm water lapping at your skin, his hands holding you tight against him, you couldn't help but wonder why you waited so long.

while he'd pulled you to a quiet shore of a hidden cove, you were worried you were still too loud, that the world would hear.

kisame's shark teeth grazed your shoulder as he let out a shuddering breath against your skin, feeling your nails dig into his back. the feeling of his razor sharp teeth made you nearly freeze with terror, but you tightened around him as your body tingled.

"hope you can handle a little blood."

ITACHI

as much as you wanted itachi to trap you in an endless sex fantasy with a genjutsu, he was a much more gentle lover. not that you minded, he always made sure your needs were more than fulfilled.

he was taking his time lapping up your pussy, sucking and kissed and tonguing wherever he could reach. he lived for the feeling of your hips bucking into his mouth, fingers gripping his hair from the overwhelming pleasure he gave you.

he knew you so well, listened to your breathing and the volume of your moans, hearing them get more high pitched as you neared your orgasm.

"come on pretty girl, let me take care of you."

<3 <3 <3

[depressedhatakekakashi]

what's your favorite ship in the naruto franchise? why?

Kakagai without question

Canon Reason’s I love them

Solid support for each other

Happily call each other out on their BS but also apologize when they realize they over stepped

Only ever seen fighting back to back with Each other

Best friends to lovers trope has me in a choke hold on this one

Gai forgets pretty much everyone he faces but cannonly Kakashi is the only one he recognized before even officially hearing his name and i think that’s beautiful

When Kakashi was told he would be leading the tactical division of the war alliance he said he’d only do it if Gai was his second in Command

The piggy back from Suna to Konoha was delightful.

Gai and Kakashi have one of the heslthiest bonds in the manga and while i can def enjoy a toxic bond i think they both have been through enough. They deserve some healthy love in their lives.

Carried each other (literally) through the war when they were too exhausted to keep standing on their own

Anime reasons

Kakashi is actuvely silly with Gai. And i don’t just slightly silly, but openly and unapologetically silly. The race across Konoha and their sushi eating contest are prime examples of this

Gai was the only one to recognize that Kakashi might need a pick me up after finding out he was going to be the next Hokage

When Gai expressed concern that they wouldn’t be able to continue their rivalry after Kakashi became Hokage, Kakashi made sure to assure Gai their rivalry would never end and he would always need and want Gai at his side

Kakashi dropped everything to go to Gai when he got his S.O.S turtle while in a meeting with Tsunade

When Gai needed reassurance that his dad wasn’t as lame as people said he was Kakashi was there to tell him proudly that he thought his dad was ‘the coolest shinobi ever’

Gai literally felt Kakashi’s death in a similar way to Kurenai feeling Asuma’s death. This was shown in Manga sort of, but better portrayed in the Anime.

Just *waved hands towards all of the Rock Lee show*

When Gai told the kids the story of Tanabanta he literally put himself and Kakashi in the roles of Orihime and Hikaboshi and i think that’s friggen adorable.

Novels

When Kakashi allowed himself to be captured the first time in Kakashi hidan he did not worry at all because he knew Gai had his back.

Kakashi ramming his face into Gai’s butt accidentally will always be hilarious to me snd he is never going to live it down.

Gai complaining about ‘genius’’ to the enemy while fighting them and Kakashi just rolling his eyes and going ‘now? Right now? RESLLY GAI!?’

[theunkown-yachirusan]

The Crimson Moon

Chapter 1

Y/n P.o.v

It has been 13 years working for the Supreme God of Norse Pantheon and his family and ever since then I became friends with Lord Thor and Lord Loki. I do not need to pretend I'm happy around them when I was, but I still need to keep up the act to know about what happenings around and to never let ANY suspicions rise, as this is for the sake of the association and the safety of everyone. The Celestial beings has blessed us with the power to protect everyone, our abilities became effective to demons and Immortal beings like Gods since then, for example I use Genjutsu to a God to make them forget about what happened.

I was currently waiting for the return of my Lords when I felt a chakra, no, a mind communication with all the squadron. I immediately go to my room, and I close my eyes and focus.

"Well this is such a shitty of them" it's Hidan's voice

"Shut it will you you are as stressful to deal as those demons"

It seems I shall need to speak right now "If it isn't interesting to know what makes you fuss over it Kakuzu-san"

"RAHHH FINALLY UKIKO IS HERE"

"That's definitely not the alpha-samas name inosuke" zenitsu said in a annoyance

"Will you shut up?" Another annoyed voice, it was Sanemi most definitely trying hard not to yell too.

"Ahh I'm so sorry,inosuke please stop, I'm so sorry Y/n-sama" Tanjiro said in panic

"AHAHAHAHA The kids sure are rowdy"

" Yeah so does you,hashirama"

"ACKK-?!!"

"Enough everyone,please state what it is, why you suddenly called a meeting Inoichi-san? As far as I know you were with Obito-san and the Investigator group that is assigned to roam around right now, is there something wrong?"

"Yes ma'am, Lady Brunhilde has informed me of something everyone would like to know and surely The Norse Gods are about to return there..."

There was a long silence before the next thing he said shook all of us.

"Upon the meeting of the Gods, they have decided to eradicate the humanity and Brunhilde will have to meet everyone once and for all"

Everyone's thoughts immediately became the voices in the communication. But then a word was heard.

"We should be calm upon this time and let Lady Brunhilde handle this." Lord Ubuyashiki finally spoke

"We all know the agreements correct?The squadron of Alpha and Beta are only the shadows of the Delta squad and therefore we shall support them and be on our guard." I finally spoke

"We shall discuss about this when I leave this place tonight" I added

And with that the meeting ended, but then Itachi speaks with me through Inoichis mind jutsu.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course I am brother-"

"Are you okay leaving the people who became a another family to you? And leaving the person who've come to love you dearly? Are you okay not hearing his reason?"

"...I did not say I wouldn't listen to what he want to say"

"Hmph, and you did not deny the ' person who've come to love you' part" Madara suddenly spoke

"Do not fret about me and as much as we know we don't want their suspicions became true. I shall focus on my situation and you should too. Itachi I leave things to you"

"Yes sister" ....after that

I cannot get the thought of Thor agreeing about this, I shall ask Brunhilde about it when she got back. I finally felt their presence and chakra and my mask is on again. I saw them at the entrance and Lord Odin's crows is unnaturally silent but suddenly Lord Odin speaks to me.

"We would like to talk to you Lady Y/n, it is about the subject in our meeting"

My eyes widened "huh, of course Lord Odin"

I can feel Thor's eyes upon me and I chose to ignore it. When we are finally at the throne room with Lord Loki and Thor with us Lord Odin spoke slowly.

"Lady Y/n I must inform you about what happened and what is the topic and you have the free will to speak then. Zeus has once again ask of the Gods opinions and decision as to what to do with you humans and the final decision is to End the Humanity once and for all"

Lord Odin stopped and is looking for my reaction and right now, the face they can only see is the shock expression painted on my face.

"But before it happens, Brunhilde then interfer on the meeting and a Fight between Humanity and Gods was declared."

I did not wait for any of them speak after Lord Odin talk.

"What would you like me to do then my Lord?" I just questioned as I became calm.

This definitely shocked them to see me calm about a crucial subject since this is a Life or Death situation. Thor then spoke.

"I would like to be honest with you Lady Y/n."

When I look at him I can see how his eyes change. The look of sadness and pain and there was something else them that I cannot pick on. Lord Odin surely did not expect that Thor would suddenly speak as he would just stay silent and just listen, even Lord Loki was Shocked about this.

"If I would be honest with you Lady Y/n I did not agree or disagree upon this and surely you know me as I would never talk. I- we would like to know what would you do, what is your thoughts about this and are you..?" He trailed.

I would be lying if I said I'm not shocked when Thor is speaking when it was Infront of his father and Loki. I am entirely stunned but I know I have to follow my own plan and as much as I love him I have to leave him, I want to protect him without him knowing and that I betrayed him for doing this, for hiding who I really was. I started to become calm once again.

" Is that so, then, I would like to return to my family and reunite with them again. I do not know how I would react to all of this but it has been decided and I have no right to stop it as I am nothing but a mere mortal" it hurts but I have to...I want to protect them even if it's in the shadows and even if it's the last thing I do for him, for Thor. I then added

"It would make others think that I am trying to be on your good sides my Lords-"

"Please I insist that when it was just us drop the formalities Lady Y/n" and the most shocking thing for all three of us is Lord Odin saying to 'Drop the formalities'. We are all, Thor,Loki and I has jaws dropped. But Loki recovered faster than us.

"And since uncle said so y/n you should call us by our names then even if we are enemies from now on" He said happily.

"Even if it's the very last moment for each of us this is the only moment we have to be ourselves". He added

"Very well then, everyone might think I was trying to get onto your good side it is why I chose to be with my family once again." I said smiling

"Y/n... You are a great human, you have been a great friend to both of me and my family. I may not be the best at showing it but you have my gratitude Lady Y/n I thank you for serving the Pantheon" Lord Odin spoke

'I can't help but-' my tears freely fall 'I didn't experience nor hear other people speaks a heartfelt gratitude yet I heard it from The Allfather himself, even though I was a human'

"I too thank you Odin,Thor and Loki for having trust to me, even though I was only a mortal and can die at any moment" I laughed.

After several hours of talking they also invite me to have dinner with them before I take my leave but I cannot help but think about Thor. As he seems even more sad than Loki and Odin combine and is holding back something which makes me think that he might want to talk to me but it was rather late as I am currently on my way to Japanese Pantheon to meet everyone including the chosen humans.

Thor's P.o.v

I should have oppose to this, sure those mortals has become nothing but parasites that kills earth but not all of them was. But thinking about it. It has been 5 years ever since knowing her and her family and yet whenever I would confess to her everything does not go well and was being interrupted by anything and anyone.

I want to tell her so badly as she was so delicate, such beauty that is more than every Goddesses, like a sunflower to my dark stormy days. She is the only one who could lighten my day. When I first lay my eyes I know immediately that it was her as soon as we met on a one rainy afternoon.

When she was far away,I just looked at the way she takes. I felt someone behind me... "It was your chance my son."

"And yet I wasted it... Again" I answered my father.

"Do not fret, I know how much she love you too and even if you may not know it yourself I have always watching her carefully as she can be rather unpredictable"

" The fate of humanity is at the hands of Brunhildes chosen Champions I should get myself ready " I just spoke with sadness.

" My son ...do not let those feelings get the better off you" My father speaks.

I did not turn to him, I just walk back inside. With a picture of her smile flashes in my memory.

Loki P.o.v

It was painful to see Thor like this and it also hurts me too that a Human friend of mine, the only person I can have fun around with is going to die at the decision many Gods agreed. I can only just sigh and think.

If I would be honest, she is the most hideous person I know, since whenever I ask about her past she would avoid it with talking about another topic. Its really frustrating of her to be so hideous. It's been 5 years and yet I cannot get her to speak. I just sighed...

'What is in that little head of yours, Y/n?'

'How come I can never be able to read you?'

I just sighed in frustration... She's the only human who is mysterious to me.

3rd persons P.o.v

"It's about time"

*Brunhilde explaining everything*

"Revolutionary group, Kamaboko squad, Rengoku-san, Tengen-san and Shinobu-san along with Tobirama and Obito. You will be assigned to be on guard incase a demon or anyone who would rebel will attack. Investigators Ino-Shika-cho along with Minato-san, Neji,Shisui and Hyuga twins be also on guard you would be the one who will keep on track on those demons if ever they chose to appear"

"YES SIR"

"Y/n-sama would you like to meet them." Brunhilde speaks.

They were in a unfamiliar place, it would seems that they are in a conference hall. Unknown figures can be seen in the darkness of the room, light of the candles are the only things that gives light in the mysterious room of many other unfamiliar people.

"Why of course we shall welcome them to our association after all they are the ones who will ensure the survival of humanity". Y/n spoke, red eyes looking directly to Brunhilde.

"I humbly welcome all of you, my fellow men, I am sure Lady Brunhilde have explained everything. We shall discuss every possibility of surprise attacks of the demons and the happenings on your fight with the God's" Y/n stated.

"AHAHAHAHA....It was an honor to work under you y/n-san" Kojiro spoke joyfully.

"Ahh I quite agree with you Kojiro-san it really is right kondo-san?" Okita also speaks.

"Not to mention, many unfamiliar people too".

"I agree with you" Kondo replied

Y/n's serious and cold facade turns friendly.

"I'm so glad that Lady Brunhilde has chosen you guys, yet I was quite worried for your well-being". She suddenly looked worried.

"But enough, we shall focus what's ahead. Since... tomorrow is the day whether we live or not" She became serious and started the discussion.

But there is only one thought remains in her head.

"How long will they be able to hide the identity of The Guardians Association?"

[yowyowyaoi]

The Akatsuki’s Favorite Halloween Movies

Deidara, Hidan and Tobi: Halloween (1978) and Halloween II (1981)

The iconic theme song. The silent killer stalking his victims in the chill of the night. The way he never says any words, never gives any warning sign of his presence until it’s too late. There are a thousand different reasons why these two movies are the favorite of this particular trio. They like to camp out in the living room and watch them back to back. Sometimes they’ll eat snacks, sometimes they’ll style each others hair, a couple of times they’ve carved pumpkins like the characters in the movie. Deidara and Tobi love the first Halloween the most, and neither felt like such a perfection in storytelling really needed a sequel. Tobi especially likes to argue on how Michael Myers is scary not because of the mask (while touching his own) but because you as the viewer don’t know the motivations behind why he targets this particular group of people. Hidan got them into Halloween II and insists that it’s still scary even knowing (some) of Myer’s thought processes. And Deidara has to admit the lab explosion scene at the end is “an artistic masterpiece, hm!”

Konan: Hocus Pocus (1993)

Konan doesn’t really like scary movies, exactly. She likes things that are light and childlike, and films that evoke a sense of nostalgia. No Halloween movie gives her that sense of fulfillment quite like Hocus Pocus. The story of the boy who was turned into a cat trying to save his sister  resonates with Konan, as she would have done anything to save her “family” (Yahiko and Nagato). The sweet teen love story between Max and Allison really moves her, and she has a soft spot for Max’s quirky little sister Dani. And speaking of sisters, The Sanderson Sisters holds a place on Konan’s heart as some of the greatest “villains” of all time. She’s made Deidara and Itachi sing “I Put A Spell On You “ with her more times than they care to admit, with her as the lead witch of Winnie. They’ve even dressed up as the sisters one Halloween, with Konan as Winnie, Deidara as Sarah, and Itachi as Mary. They looked fabulous but of course Hidan never lets Deidara or Itachi forget that they “dressed up like chicks”.

Nagato and Kisame: Halloweentown (1998)

Another nostalgic movie that isn’t really scary so much as it’s fun. For both of them, the notion of an entire town where “freaks” aren’t only welcome but are the norm, is very appealing to them. Kisame knows his shark-like appearance would fit right in to this mythical place, and Nagato imagines that he and his Pein bodies could really find their niche there. Kisame in general is a big fan of classic movies, and has long since been a fan of the work of Debbie Reynolds. When he found out that she played the lovable witch grandmother to Marnie in this movie, well, he was hooked. The two like to eat a lot of candy while watching this movie (it’s the only time of year that either of them truly indulges in sweets) and discuss ways they could improve the government of this fabled town.

Kakuzu: Beetlejuice 1988

Kakuzu admires the character of Beetlejuice. The man is long dead yet he’s managed to use his talent of being repulsive as a means to earn income by scaring living people out of ghosts’ former homes. Kakuzu’s always says that “Hell runs on money”, and this movie gives credibility to the idea that he’s right. He hopes that if and when he finally dies, he will be able to use his talents of bounty hunting in the afterlife to keep on earning money. Maybe wrangling up wayward spirits that don’t accept that they’ve passed on? Or souls that don’t follow whatever the rules of the afterlife are? Kakuzu sees the possibilities as being endless. Kakuzu has also always had an eye for architecture and especially buildings or structures that are way outside of the norm. He’s fascinated by the remodeling that Delia Deetz does to Maitland’s house, and secretly would love such a bizarrely constructed house to live in himself one day. 

Itachi: A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)

Itachi despises Freddy Krueger. In his mind, the man being burned alive was too light a punishment for the atrocious acts he committed against children. BUT the Uchiha was understandably drawn in by the concept of being able to control and manipulate someone through their dreams. Very similar to gengetsu, and some of the nightmares that Freddy gives to people have become inspiration for visions that Itachi’s given to his enemies. Konan likes to watch this movie with him, as she likes the character of Nancy Thompson; but she gets so scared during the movie that she has to hold on to Itachi’s arm for support the whole time. Itachi often comes away with deep fingerprints imbedded into his skin the next day.

Zetsu: Little Shop Of Horrors (1986)

It should be no big surprise that a movie about a sentient plant with a rapidly developing lust for human flesh would be Zetsu’s favorite Halloween film. He loves how manipulative the plant Audrey II is with Seymour, and how easily he’s able to convince him to “feed” him. Zetsu also loves how campy this movie is, with the overzealous acting and the constant musical numbers. He’s tried to convince the entire Akatsuki to put this on as a play, and invite people from neighboring villages to come and watch. When Nagato questioned what they would do after the viewers realized they were all Akatsuki members, Zetsu’s solution was to invite them backstage to “meet” Audrey II … and never emerge again. Of course his idea was shot down, but he still loves the movie and watches it at least 10 times every October.

Sasori and Orochimaru: Child’s Play (1988)

This one almost seems too obvious, but Sasori really, REALLY loves the character of Charles Lee Ray, aka Chucky. Finding a way to beat death by transferring his soul into a body that could never be hurt, or age, or die? Sasori was sold from the first time his grandmother let him watch this film as a little boy. Of course Chucky’s body isn’t without flaws; in fact carefully studying Chucky’s design is what’s driven Sasori to make so many improvements on his own body. When Orochimaru was still in the Akatsuki these two would watch Child’s Play and it’s sequels, and argue on whether Chucky had found the best path to immortality. One thing that Sasori can’t relate to, however, is Chucky’s desire to transfer his soul back out of a doll and into another human body. Sasori prefers to stay in his doll body for eternity. Orochimaru, however, was very, very intrigued at the idea of putting one’s essence into different bodies, and this movie opened up his mind to hours of research (and eventually trial and error) on the subject.

[littlemonstert-blog]

I'm really getting tired of seeing people say Studio Pierrot hated Sakura

When in reality they didnt't in fact she had alot of fans in the studio. Which is dangerous for people spreading missinformation about the people working at the studio.

I'm always seeing on twitter & other social pages. "SP hated sakura." "They wanted to make her look bad. "Why didn't they adapt the Sakura Hiden novel. "They favored Hinata more." "They add filler to Hinata's fight." "They sexuallized Hinata." " Hinata has more filler episodes."

Also, with Studio Pierrot, they love Sakura in fact they wanted Naruto & Sakura together. They tried really hard to pair her with the main character.

Kishimoto's translator:

For Naruto & Naruto Shippuden

Filler aka not canon to the manga

You seen this in the Ova's, movies, openings and endings try to add fillers in cannon episodes I could post more but it'll be to long.

They say that the studio goes out the way to try making Sakura look bad.

Anime did not change this manga part. (From a twiter translated by somewho knows kanji)

Now for the changes the anime did.

Zabuza Arc:

A anime watcher even you know that she's right. Doesn't a matter of whether or not this version of Sasuke was stronger then Naruto, its a fact. Even if Sakura is doing it out of being a fangirl it’s doesn't matter(doubt it was suppose to be taken that way anyway). Kakashi stated that Sasuke was the number one rookie. How does this alter Sakura’s character?

She does it again later.

Naruto saved her and Sasuke from Gaara, Sakura couldn’t even process that Naruto was the one that beat him and rescued them, she didn't have hopes on him, it was all Sasuke. How the did this change paints her in bad light when she was like this in canon.

They sure do love to cut out certain momments of Sakura too

Exams arc & after Naruto vs Kakazu arc

"They favored Hinata, In Hinata vs pain its basically all filler she got one-paneled!"

C'mon....like other characters in the show haven't gotten one paneled in the manga before.

The Studio add more fight scenes & changed certain things in the manga to benfit Sakura. Yet they act like Hinata vs Pain was the only one.

They did the same with Naruto vs. Sasuke, Kakashi vs. Hidan, Pain vs. Naruto, Obito vs. Kakashi and, of course , Sakura vs. Sasori

Sakura & Chiyo vs Sasori manga:

Studio Pierrot Anime filler fight:

Kisimoto (canon) close combat fight

Team 7 Naruto, Sai & Sakura vs Karui & Omoi

they made her appear fast to take on loads of puppets. Then her speed reaction aganist Omoi appeared.

The whole point of her power is that she's a live tank and a powerful support. Speed has never really been her forte. She is still kage level despite that drawback

We really see how her speed is in war arc to.

Naruto Anime filler: Manga:614

Edit: Let's not forget the final fight between Naruto vs Sasuke said chapter 698

Boruto Anime:

Sakura vs Shin filler...wait anime canon

cool sequences in Naruto animated, it all filler

Naruto Gaiden manga: It has 10 chapters in total please just read it.

Sakura vs Shin manga finshed in one panel until Sasuke saves her with susanno chapter 9

The studio also went out of their way to make something different that painted Sakura of a hero.

anime she is blaming herself for not telling her daughter enough about Sasuke.Iin the manga canon she blames Sarada for wanting to know more about her father. Boruto Anime makes Sakura more sympathetic as she at admits she did something wrong.

the studio went entirely out of their way to improve her character during the Shin arc and early Boruto

Naruto Giaden/Boruto Manga (Left) Canon:

Sakura was never cheering for Sarada in the Exams

Shin outright beats Sakura with his knockoff Kamui

Sakura didn’t ignore Sasuke to go and hug Sarada, after the Shin confrontation she stood there while Sasuke gave Sarada a explantion of why they love each other

No fight against Shin, just a single panel of a frustrated Sakura hitting into nothing.

Boruto Anime (Right) Studio pierrot:

Adds scenes of Sakura being a supportive the Chunin exams.

Sakura only gets caught into Shin’s attack bc she was protecting Sarada.

Ignoring Sasuke and her first thoughts onto Sarada while hugging her

Amazing fight against Shin

Why does she have to hit Naruto so much in filler!? 

Again, they’re just following the characteristic’s that is created for her. It’s canon that Sakura hits Naruto when he can be somewhat annoying. Naruto is 40% filler, were going see a bunch of scenes of Sakura hitting Naruto.

she not much different from her manga counterpart

" Studio Pierrot sexuallized Hinata." They had her dancing on the water like a stripper!" Hinata was in more fillers than Sakura!"

Yall are up in arms about Hinata centric episode training for a anime filler jutsu Protective 8 trigrams 64 Palms naked on the water because she didn't want to get her clothes wet while training ...smh.

Hinata appeared in 12 anime filler arcs and 5 anime filler movies she had was a minor character in most( most from Naruto then in shippuden). Sakura had appeared 15 anime arcs and 9 anime filler movies, she made major roles in them too.

We can all look this up put people choose not to.

Don't act like she is the only female character that had fanservice in the show.

I’m talking about a specific number of fans, only the misogynists who believe that the fanbase hate Sakura because she’s flat and favor Hinata because’s she has big breasts, wanting people to believe that they don’t care about boobs, feeling safe because Sakura’s boobs are “average size”, “Everyone who likes Sakura is obviously not a pervert and a good guy who doesn’t care about tits”.

used a bunch of fillers created by Studio Pierrot to prove that.

(Only Hinata to never Tsunade or any other female character with a big chest)

The majority of Hinata fans love her because she’s a pair of tities.

Studio Perriot

I hate the hypocrisy.

Also studio

somehow hate fanservice and the bias but also say that “Sakura is not flat, has curves, small boobs and a big butt, it’s just studio Pierrot fault and favor Hinata for fanservice” They say.

These hypocrites are obsessed with tits and ass, they wouldn’t be trying hard to prove that Studio Pierrot messed with Sakura’s chest as if they really didn’t care about boobs

"They focus way to much on Hinata!"

It was one episode of Hinata about the novel Konoha Hiden... The plot split with other characters find a gift to attend the wedding (her wedding mind you) and she was worried. Didn't know having her appear in a episode about that was a bad thing.

I will never understand how a side character needs to be compaired to someone from the main cast.

"Studio Pierrot didn't adapt Sakura Hiden they hate her!"

They didn't adapt Kakashi, Gaara or atakuski hiden. alot novels including Sasuke Star pupil, Shikamaru Mouring clouds & half- adapted Naruto Parent & Child Day

everyone nitpicks when comes to the anime. People love to pick & choose. Showing scenes Form a studio that likes to make most of her fights way better and likes to ships her with Naruto they really don't seem to hate her.

Note: this wasn't to provoke it was to show the hypocisy in how people say SP hated her & sexuallized/favored Hinata. Suppose to show how much the Studio loved & cared for her.

They have still do care for her juding by some of the addtional scenes in Sasuke Retsuden & Boruto.

Edit: And yes I did use some moments of this answer: he does throw jokes but to say he's a anti is wrong. He addreses the flaws of her character, her writing/ relationships within her team. Lots of people will joke & take screencaps out of context in Naruto this isn't anything new to any character or show

[sanrio-gyal]

Hi! can we hear some of your modern au Deidara headcanons? Big fan btw

Yesssss of course!

This has probably been sitting in my inbox for a while 🙁 sorry

Main staple of clothing is his baggy pants and a tank top. He then throws his hair up to messy up do. Definitely digs in his laundry and rewears the same clothes

Doesn’t take off his make up. He goes to sleep with his eyeliner and wakes up with it on. He also forgets to remove his contact lenses. Definitely has put on contacts when he already had them on.

Has a pet lizard, tarantula, and bird. He got the lizard from a tree and decided it’s be his pet. His dorm does not allow pets lmao.

Constantly snacking throughout the day. His backpack is mostly full of chips,candy, gum, or beef jerky. His mouth constantly needs to be chewing on something. 

Collects figures. Definitely has paid for anime figures using his rent money.

He has terrible money management skills. Spends money on art supplies that he never uses. His main media is clay yet he has hundreds of markers.

intelligent but rather party than do his schoolwork. Projects with Deidara is the worst. He only starts working a few days before the due date.

Roommates with Hidan. Their dorm is a wasteland. Neither like cleaning so it remains dirty asf. At least they’re smart enough to not invite others over.

Honestly…Deidara is just a guy. He genuinely has no idea what he wants to do in life except for being an artist.

Dorm room is decorated in posters and art. His led lights are always on blue.

Works as a cashier at a gas station on night duty. He sleeps most of the time and when there is a customer he tries to get them out as fast as possible so he can go back to sleep. Sometimes just tells them that it’s free.

Has a Twitter, instagram, and tumblr. He doesn’t post on tiktok instead scrolling for hours.

19 year old iPad kid. 🙁 he eats hot Cheetos while scrolling through YouTube shorts. Hidan yells at him to turn it down.

Finds the stupidest things funny.

His license is suspended 😭

Loves vans and Nike airs

Partially deaf and wears a hearing aid. He never officially learned sign language. Him and kurotsuchi made up their sign language. He quickly realized that no one knew what he was signing.

Him and Hidan go on Omegle just argue.

Tongue and eyebrow piercing

Contagious laugh

unironically watches reality tv shows like 90 day fiancé, love island, survivor, housewives, bad girls club because he likes seeing people fight.

Smokes weed when bored

Bro does not eat his veggies 😭🙏 even eating cup of ramen, he will take out the vegetables.

His playlist is 99% of punk, rock, and heavy metal and then he has a secret playlist with Nicki, ice spice, sexy redd. He’s secretly a female rapper fan.

Can’t cook for shii. He’d probably starve to death if the Akatsuki weren’t helping him cook.

Has blown up his microwave “accidentally”

:p

[or0ch1maru]

𝟭𝟴+ 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗗𝗡𝗜, 𝗳𝗲𝗺 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗔𝗸𝗮𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗶 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 ;)

•

𝗛𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗻 & 𝗞𝗮𝗸𝘂𝘇𝘂:

•these two love nothing more than a brat, someone to challenge them. someone who pushes their limits.

•both are brat tamers, all for punishments and funishments. You want to act out? Too damn bad. They’ll be the first to pull you into their room and snap that mentally right from you.

•toys, being tied up, sensory deprivation, all these among other things they’ll use on and against you. they truly enjoy watching the way you whimper, begging for them to use your holes.

•Kakuzu & Hidan are definitely on the rougher side of things but they both know when you need gentler loving, and won’t hesitate to slow down if they feel that you can’t handle it.

•praising? Forget about it, that won’t come until they’re done with you. “𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗮 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝘁𝘆 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹”, “𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗱𝗼𝗹𝗹, 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁?”, “𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁. 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲.” Are the comments they’ll coo and mewl into your ears as they mark you up and stuff you.

•are gods at aftercare. Hidan wasn’t aware that it was something that should and needed to be done after a session. Kakuzu had to explain it to him but once he understood, he was the first to jump up and make you comfortable. bubble baths, body massages, playing with you hair. These are just some of the ways to two will take care of you.

𝗦𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗶 & 𝗗𝗲𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗮:

•these two will take their time with you. They say your body is art and will marvel at you like you’re on a pedestal.

•what you would think would be a short and quick fuck, would turn into hours of pleasure. Each whimper, moan, and whine that escapes your lips only eggs them on.

•definitely taking turns. While one fucks you, the other will play with you. They enjoy doing this while in missionary. Deidara will have you up against him while his red haired partner fills you up. The blonde will play with your nipples, stroke your frame, nibble on your ears and leave purple marks on your neck.

•Sasori won’t cum yet. He’ll pull out and let his partner take his turn. Sasori will gently place your hand around his shaft, having you slowly stroke him as a test to your concentration.

•the pair love to praise. Especially when you’re taking both of them. “𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗮 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹 𝗮𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝘂𝘀.”, “𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆.”. they also love caressing & touching your face any chance they get.

•kisses. whether it’s on your lips or your neck, even your inner thighs, kissing is one thing they can’t go without. eye contact is another thing the two crave. they feel it’s a pure bonding, and intimate connection.

•their version of aftercare involves cuddling and sleeping. once everyone’s been cleaned up, they’ll place you gently between them, wrapping you up under the blanket and they’ll trace over your body and play with your hair until you fall asleep.

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻 & 𝗞𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗻:

•pain will have Konan focus on you first. Watching as his partners face is buried between your legs, causing you to cry out as her tongue flicks over your clit. He enjoys the way you grab onto her hair when she slides her fingers into you, almost as if you want her deeper.

•Konan is primarily the top with you, taking control until it’s time to take her partner. Sometimes she’ll have you finger fuck her, pleasing her the way she does you. These two also enjoy bringing toys into the mix. Edging you with a vibrator until you’re begging for release.

•Pain never lets either of the girls feel excluded. Giving both Konan and you the same amount of pleasure and attention. Hates when his girls are dissatisfied. While he fucks you, he’ll hold a vibrator to his partners clit, watching as they both become unraveled by his touch.

•when Pain is near his orgasm, he’ll have both of you get on your knees in front of him. The look of his girls this way throws him over the edge. Covering the both of you in his cum. All over your faces, it dripping down your chins and onto your chests.

•their version of aftercare is taking a nice hot shower. It’ll start off innocent, just lathering yourselves in soap to clean yourselves and before you know it, Pain will have you and Konan bent over and mushed against the shower wall.

𝗭𝗲𝘁𝘀𝘂 & 𝗧𝗼𝗯𝗶/𝗢𝗯𝗶𝘁𝗼:

•doms! This pair takes control. Black Zetsu will be the main focus out of him and white Zetsu, but white Zetsu is the one the praise you during your sessions.

•Obito prefers being the ‘sloppy’ second believe it or not. He’ll watch his partner stuff and fill your holes, listening to the way you cry as you take him. He also loves to taunt you when his partner is deep in your cunt. “𝘄𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗱𝗼𝗹𝗹. 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗿𝘂𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗵𝗶𝗺.”, “𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗲. 𝗟𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁.”, “𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗼 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗰. 𝗜𝘀 𝘇𝗲𝘁𝘀𝘂 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂? 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗰𝗸?”

•they both love choking. Your neck will be red for hours after each session. Any form of marking these two are able to leave on you fuels them. They both have an ownership & possession kink. They’re not satisfied until you’re covered in purple and red marks.

•another thing to two love doing is pulling out and cumming on your entrance. The pair love watching as you go about your daily activities with their cum mixing together in your panties.

•uses each other for punishments. You piss off Obito? You’ll be paying for that as Zetsu stuffs your holes, his partner will be right next to you as your face is mushed on the wall, into the carpet, into a pillow. The usual taunting will continue, becoming harsher with each sentence. Obito knows his words cause you to become soaked, craving nothing but his cock inside you, and that’s what you’re being deprived of.

•Zetsu is the same. If you anger him, you’re out of luck. He’ll have Tobi bending you over a desk, completely wrecking you. Zetsu does taunt, just not as much as Tobi. What he does instead is stroke his cock. Just out of your arms reach. It’s look but don’t touch, which drives you mad.

•at the end of this, they’ll run you a hot bath. Letting you relax and unwind in the warm water. They’ll be found in the kitchen, preparing a delicious meal for after.

𝗞𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 & 𝗜𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶:

•just like Deidara & Sasori, these two prefer going slow. They’ll go all day if they choose.

•when there isn’t enough time to have sex, they’ll have you take turns riding their thighs. Leaving stains from your juices on their pant legs.

•these two aren’t ashamed of pushing you against a tree while out on a mission. They also don’t care if anybody discovers the three of you getting it on, whether that’s at home in the compound or while on a task.

•hair pullers. That nice bun, or ponytail you had? It’ll be wrecked by the time these two are done with you.

•late at night, they love when you get on top. Taking your time and doing what movements you need to get your release. They love watching the way your tits bounce as you ride their cocks.

•as much as they love using you, they prefer when you use them. If you crave them in the middle of the night, they’ll be more than happy to give you what you want. You want to sneak off from a group dinner and have a quickie in a bathroom, just give them that look and they’ll find an excuse to leave.

•when it comes to aftercare, they will worship your body like it’s the last thing they’ll ever do. Don’t get me wrong, they worship you while fucking, but seeing your body after, sets them both into overdrive. Body massages, compliments and praises, and kissing.

[ladykissingfish]

*Itachi passes by Deidara’s room late at night; the door is slightly ajar and Itachi pauses at the sounds coming from inside*

Itachi: Dei? Is everything alright — ?

Deidara, hoarsely: Fuck off, Uchiha.

*Itachi cautiously opens the door; Deidara is laying in a fetal position on the floor, his eyes blood-red from crying*

Itachi: What’s the matter?!

Deidara: Everything. It’s — Itachi I try. I have been trying for half a year to get Sasori to notice me. To fucking LOOK at me, as a MAN. But no matter what I say, no matter how much I hint … I get nothing back. I’m still that stupid child in his eyes. He’ll never see me as anything else! I — I — *starts crying again*

Itachi: *timidly pats Deidara’s back* It can’t be as bad as all that — have you tried giving him a direct confession? Because Sasori doesn’t pick up well on hints …

Deidara: What’s the difference, hm?! Hints or saying “I love you” right to his stupid face … he only ever looks at me as a child! I’M NOT A DAMN CHILD ANYMORE!!

Itachi: Are you sure? Because maybe Sasori is right.

Deidara: W-what??

Itachi: Maybe you are just some silly brat. A kid not to be taken seriously. I mean, look at yourself: you’re crying on the floor and practically throwing a tantrum like a two year old.

Deidara: I … I …

Itachi: *kneels in front of Deidara with a box of tissues* Sit up, dry your eyes, blow your nose. When you’re calm, you’re going to get up, go to your desk, and the two of us are going to draft a well-thought-out confession. We’re going to really look into why you believe you love him. Not the superficial crap, but the deep-down stuff. And then we’re going to rehearse it until you’re ready to speak to Sasori himself. You want him to take you seriously? You want him to see that you’re a man? Then ACT like one, Deidara.

Deidara:

Deidara: M-maybe you’re right, hm. *cleans his face and then gets to his feet* Why are you helping me??

Itachi: Because you’re my friend, and friends help each other, don’t they? Now come; let’s get working on that letter.

*the next night, in bed with Kisame*

Kisame: So you just helped him, huh? Do you think it’ll work?

Itachi: I believe he needs a few days to get his confidence up, but once he does, I believe he and Sasori will make an excellent couple.

Kisame: *kisses Itachi’s cheek* Proud of you for helping like that. 

Itachi: Actually … my reasons aren’t entirely as altruistic as you might think …

Kisame: Oh? What do you mean?

Itachi: Do you remember that double date we went on with Kakuzu and Hidan about a month ago?

Kisame: *shakes his head* How could I forget? The constant loud fighting, the arguing over splitting the food bill, Hidan killing that waiter …

Itachi: Exactly. It was awful, right? But I can tolerate Deidara infinitely better than I can Hidan. And Sasori is always pleasant. I’d much rather spend the evening with them than the alternative. Hopefully if they’re together by next weekend the four of us can go to that new restaurant together.

Kisame:

Kisame: *kisses Itachi again* Clever.

[sakura-gyarugal]

Akatsuki headcanons nobody asked for ^^ mostly modern ones

Kakazu has lucky socks for when he goes gambling

Sasori tans really bad. He turns bright red. To which Deidara laughs at since he tans perfectly.

Hidan’s hair is crusty from all that gel he uses. Like man doesn’t wash it was it till the weekend.

Kakuzu secretly likes drag shows.

Deidara has an hearing aid but keeps taking it out so mostly uses sign language

Konan and Itachi have cooking competitions and the rest of the Akatsuki are the judges. They both become scary so the Akatsuki are wary who to pick as the winner.

Orochimaru is non-binary they’re also into drag.

Deidara is a vegan since he likes animals so much. He definitely judges when he sees one of them eating meat especially in front of his birds.

Sasori is allergic to peanuts

Kakazu has many sugar babies but is super cheap with them. He only gives extra to Hidan <3

Hidan has a cult on Twitter but 85% of it is him on separate accounts 💀. He gets banned every month.

Obito has a prosthetic arm and eye. But sometimes he forgets to put on a patch or his eye. When starts getting weird looks then he realizes XD

Pain and konan have lots of pets mostly dogs

Deidara and konan steal each other’s clothes with zero remorse. In fact they meet up with each other with each other’s clothes on.

Konan: is that my shirt?

Deidara: those are the boots I’ve been looking for

Konan: dude

Deidara: bro

Sasori likes murder mysteries and is into taxidermy(very interesting hobbies put together)

Kisame’s food is always getting taken. Like he hides his food in the ceiling and floor boards and it still gets taken.

Kisame: alright who ate my leftovers?

Deidara with a mouthful of rice: I don’t know man

Zetsu: with a chicken wing in between his mouth: not sure

Hidan with sauce all over his mouth: uh did you check the outside fridge?

Zetsu is anti vegan because they think plants feel pain. Deidara and Zetsu constantly fight about animal rights and plants.

Konan is very much into spirituality and stuff to which Hidan thinks is creepy. When he gets on her nerves she threatens to curse him.

Kisame is an activist to animal rights mostly marine though

When Obito first met Deidara he tried sign language and accidentally said something rude with his hands and Sasori was just like: 😦 while Deidara was like: gasp

Pain and madara fight over who’s the better “father” of the Akatsuki. Madara tries to win them over by presents. Like this mf really bought Deidara,hidan, and sasori a car. It currently just sits there at madara’s place

Kisame may seem intimidating and like nothing gets to him but he hates spiders. Like jump onto the table cuz of them. Itachi is always the one to kill it.

Itachi secretly follows his brother or gets bodyguards when his brother is out the home. Sasuke has been known but hasn’t said anything yet.

Konan is a pole dancer. Deidara and Hidan go into her closet and wear her 10 inch heals. Hidan eventually broke an arm trying to walk in them.

Sasori forgets to blink so the Akatsuki have to remind him to

Sasuke hates being around the Akatsuki he tries to avoid them as much as possible.

Did I mention sasori has a very detailed obsession of murder?

Itachi got the worst asthma. Whenever he gets stressed he’s reaching for his inhaler which is all the time.

Kakazu Works 3 jobs he doesn’t even need three jobs but he’s obsessed with money so…

Kisame has a bunch of cultural tattoos from his village

Zetsu likes to hiss at people💀

Madara is that rich aunty that never gets invited yet still comes and ruins the entire function.

Itachi has too much time on his hands so sometimes he sews sweaters for Sasuke to which Sasuke always wears 💗

Sakura: Sasuke it’s 90 degrees please take that sweater off before you have a heat stroke

Sasuke: I can’t…

Naruto: why? It looks dorky anyways

-naruto later went to the hospital for a broken nose. Don’t disrespect Itachi’s sewing🙄

Obito is honestly a jello mess around rin no matter how long they’ve been dating.

Obito, deidara, Kisame, and Konan all like kpop. Like they really be out here jamming to fancy by twice!

Hidan is illiterate…I’m sorry but that man can’t read to save his life

Kakuzu eats meat raw….yeah raw. He’s too lazy to cook it all the way. Cuz money is time or however that quote goes

Konan grows a single grey hair every time she’s with Hidan. He makes her head hurt but they’re buddies when they go to bars

Itachi is brutally honest he just says it in a kind way so it doesn’t come off too hard. 😌

Deidara and Sasuke have mad beef with each other. They wore the same slipknot shirt one day at the mall…(they were both shopping for eyeliner)

Pain has tattoos of all of the Akatsuki members names since he feels he’s the dad of the group. Of course kakazu was like…I’m older than you

Kakazu doesn’t understand memes like at all.

Kakazu: I had the worst yeet today or whatever y’all young people be saying

Hidan: ?????

Sasori is a picky eater. He only eats chicken tenders and strawberries. He only eats kisame, Itachi, and konan food because the rest suck at cooking

Hidan learned sign language to curse Deidara out when he realized he was deaf.

Nobody: Hidan curses you out in sign language

Itachi wears the thickest brim glasses ever

Kisame sleeps with lots of plushies. He likes the comfort :)

Obito and pain like to gamble but they both cheat and both haven’t figured it out yet…idiots

Konan and rin go shopping when they’re boyfriends are gambling. They love talking about their idiot boyfriends over a cup of coffee or tea while spending all their money

Sasori’s room is filled with vintage dolls. Deidara has a hard time sleeping at his apartment especially since sasori likes making dolls that look like him😭 like sasori this why you get zero ho

Sasori also makes voodoo dolls with strands of his hair. He’s so weird lmao

Orochimaru has a boa constrictor… no they should not have one but they do cuz they can

Zetsu favorite movie is the human centipede

Madara hates orphans 🤣 but fr

Hidan and Deidara fight with kids. They really be getting offended on what an eight year old said

Obito likes romantic movies. Kakashi clowns him for it and that the fact he likes kpop.

Konan has secretive piercings

Hidan: so where else do you have piercings

Konan: places you will never see

Hidan: inside your ear?

Konan: ….no

Kisame weight lifts. 🎶He’s buff he’s really really buff🎵

Itachi has five minute teeth routine for all the sugar he eats

Hidan washes his face with dish soap 😟 while Deidara, Itachi, konan are having a thirty minute skin care routine

Zetsu has eaten their pet fish before…um yeah

Rin is girlboss Obito is male wife

Orochimaru goes to jail every month and gets bailed out every time

Sasori uses cursed images to express how he feels since he’s bad at wording them. So if he’s in a bad mood he’ll show a really weird photo that expresses anger. It doesn’t work 90% of the time.

Zetsu: so it’s a cat with milk on its face

Sasori: yeah

Zetsu: and that represents what exactly?

Sasori: …I feel depressed

Zetsu: oh now I kinda see it

Kakazu likes watching the Akatsuki fight so he brings up controversial topics just to see everyone fight as he drinks his wine. Free entertainment

No one likes orochimaru yet he still comes to every event. Which is just awkward for everyone

Obito Tries to seem more young with slang and memes yet it’s just awful

Obito: we’re going to get lit at this party? Right homies?

Deidara ripping out his hearing aid

Hidan: Dude what?

Rin getting second hand embarrassment

Konan crying with laughter

Lol these generally don’t make sense but it was fun coming up with them! I literally love the headcanon of Deidara being Deaf and Obito and sasori being super awkward cute guys..they try their best. And konan and rin being best friends is literally my favorite thing ever