#never have i been so upset that i dont have full control of my characters actions within the story

[claitea]

finished the dlc! enjoyed it a lot :D

[spikeinthepunch]

Blog: Reworking Fanworks? (crosspost)

this is a crosspost of a blog on my website.

Very quickly sitting down to throw out these thoughts because boy! I have energy and inspiration to write this all down. This may because long because I wanna give loads of context to new readers...

So, i used to be pretty into Warrior Cats – though from 2020 to April 2022, i was specifically in it for the RP circle I got into. A bit before that though I had written a whole outline for a fan story though, and I did it more as an exercise. I always felt i was bad at following through or finding endings to stories, even if just outlined. Its hard for me to tackle anything if i dont know how it will end. This was The Moon's Talon (MT) - there is an 11 page outline you can read, with a full clan allegiance, and the canon had some altered roles. And I am still very proud I finished this whole story outline! It really is the first thing i thought of and wrote a whole idea for.

But I did that, and then hopped into Rping during most of the pandemic. I won't go on about that for too long, but eventually I ran my own server called The Astronomers (TA) following a Warrior Cats story with clans and various very original ideas with lore. It was meant to literally force a reality between the real outter space beyond earth, and the more "magical" side of warriors typical beleifs. The two clans were to start as polar opposites- one beleiving strongly in more scientific views of stars and space while the other beleives that stars were personaifications of their loved ones. I had numerous arcs planned up to the "end", about 5-6 arcs, but we only barely got into arc 2 before I closed it in early 2022 for reasons outside of my control.

I had to take some time away from all that due to the stress and upset that led to the server's closing, and I hyave much enjoyed my time since. I wasn't into all that RP stuff because of warriors, really. I do xenofiction like Warriors! But i was there for the stories to tell with others more than anything.

BUT where am i going with this article you are wondering... well, its been some time since all that and I am feeling better about looking at those stories. When someone messaged the Moon's Talon blog about the outline, I was like oh! Yea I am still pretty happy with that. Maybe I can rework it to being non-Warriors? It might be refreshing, i just havent done much OC stuff lately that isnt by complicated world Cryptolalia that is so much of a WIP i cant show much for.

I have seen quite a few people rework their Warriors stories into original universes, and I have considered it before, but that was when I was in the middle of by server, and then after that I really thought I just wasn't going to pick any of that up. And on top of reworking MT, it occurred to me that I could rework all of the stuff I did for my RP too... it hit me and it made me feel kind of emotional I think. I had to give up on it in a way I couldn't change, and it sucked. I don't like to think back to all that, but it sucked. And it hurts that I never got to live out that story in the format I intended- and while I can't recreate everything as it was (either due to being too Warriors-esque, or because it was RP format specific), I feel much better about look at all that again, and reclaiming it, and rebirthing it into something new!

I can't say I have any idea where this may go. It will probably take some time as I need to take out all the Warriors stuff, and also likely redesign SO many characters. I need to figure out how to get these two stories to work with each other, because in their existing canon, MT occured in the far far past before TA. It relied a bit on the Warrior's expected "reincarnation" ideas and things related to the stars. I think I will have to do away with much of that, or do it in a way that isn't so tied to "stars are our dead relatives". I will probably shove these two stories together and not make them a huge timeskip. Which means other ties need to change, converge, whatever.

I don't even know how I will shift all this- I do look forward to getting rid of the 20 member large clans... thank god, no more random ass background cats I will never touch. I look forward to it, because both stories were actually way more inspired by Felidae- in the sense that that book treats cats as much more intelligent, capable of some human things if they learn it, etc. I don't think I will have any issues changing it up- it'll just take time.. and I am way more eager to make my own ideas not tied to the strict rules of Warriors now too.

I have lots of ideas I wanna work on, and I don't actually plan to draw as much for this as I did for my past Warriors stuff- I really forced it. But I will certain be writing stuff! And eventually I will have a section on my site for all my OC things...eventually lol. For now though, follow my tumblr!

So, i used to be pretty into Warrior Cats - though from 2020 to April 2022, i was specifically in it for the RP circle I got into. A bit before that though I had written a whole outline for a fan story though, and I did it more as an exercise. I always felt i was bad at following through or finding endings to stories, even if just outlined. Its hard for me to tackle anything if i dont know how it will end. This was The Moon's Talon (MT) - there is an 11 page outline you can read, with a full clan allegiance, and the canon had some altered roles. And I am still very proud I finished this whole story outline! It really is the first thing i thought of and wrote a whole idea for.

But I did that, and then hopped into Rping during most of the pandemic. I won't go on about that for too long, but eventually I ran my own server called The Astronomers (TA) following a Warrior Cats story with clans and various very original ideas with lore. It was meant to literally force a reality between the real outter space beyond earth, and the more "magical" side of warriors typical beleifs. The two clans were to start as polar opposites- one beleiving strongly in more scientific views of stars and space while the other beleives that stars were personaifications of their loved ones. I had numerous arcs planned up to the "end", about 5-6 arcs, but we only barely got into arc 2 before I closed it in early 2022 for reasons outside of my control.

I had to take some time away from all that due to the stress and upset that led to the server's closing, and I hyave much enjoyed my time since. I wasn't into all that RP stuff because of warriors, really. I do xenofiction like Warriors! But i was there for the stories to tell with others more than anything.

BUT where am i going with this article you are wondering... well, its been some time since all that and I am feeling better about looking at those stories. When someone messaged the Moon's Talon blog about the outline, I was like oh! Yea I am still pretty happy with that. Maybe I can rework it to being non-Warriors? It might be refreshing, i just havent done much OC stuff lately that isnt by complicated world Cryptolalia that is so much of a WIP i cant show much for.

I have seen quite a few people rework their Warriors stories into original universes, and I have considered it before, but that was when I was in the middle of by server, and then after that I really thought I just wasn't going to pick any of that up. And on top of reworking MT, it occurred to me that I could rework all of the stuff I did for my RP too... it hit me and it made me feel kind of emotional I think. I had to give up on it in a way I couldn't change, and it sucked. I don't like to think back to all that, but it sucked. And it hurts that I never got to live out that story in the format I intended- and while I can't recreate everything as it was (either due to being too Warriors-esque, or because it was RP format specific), I feel much better about look at all that again, and reclaiming it, and rebirthing it into something new!

I can't say I have any idea where this may go. It will probably take some time as I need to take out all the Warriors stuff, and also likely redesign SO many characters. I need to figure out how to get these two stories to work with each other, because in their existing canon, MT occured in the far far past before TA. It relied a bit on the Warrior's expected "reincarnation" ideas and things related to the stars. I think I will have to do away with much of that, or do it in a way that isn't so tied to "stars are our dead relatives". I will probably shove these two stories together and not make them a huge timeskip. Which means other ties need to change, converge, whatever.

I don't even know how I will shift all this- I do look forward to getting rid of the 20 member large clans... thank god, no more random ass background cats I will never touch. I look forward to it, because both stories were actually way more inspired by Felidae- in the sense that that book treats cats as much more intelligent, capable of some human things if they learn it, etc. I don't think I will have any issues changing it up- it'll just take time.. and I am way more eager to make my own ideas not tied to the strict rules of Warriors now too.

I have lots of ideas I wanna work on, and I don't actually plan to draw as much for this as I did for my past Warriors stuff- I really forced it. But I will certain be writing stuff! And eventually I will have a section on my site for all my OC things...eventually lol. For now though, follow my tumblr!

[kunaigirl]

I really really don't want to be an asshole and Im not gonna demand your personal trauma history because I agree that you and other Hazbin fans dont owe anyone that information.

But can you at least consider that there are SA/abuse survivors that are deeply uncomfortable with how they handled Angel's character especially since the storyboard artist for the Poison song has been proven to have cnc and rape kink.

I really enjoy your art and youre allowed to like whatever media you like. But please acknowledge that there is a polarizing opinion on how Angel's hypersexuality is portrayed and that people are rightfully uncomfortable with how Valentino is a "problematic fave" to some Hazbin fans.

I never said that people aren't allowed to be uncomfortable. I also never said that this show was perfect, or that I refuse to acknowledge that it does have a chunk of fucked flaws behind the scenes, and yes there are parts that made me very deeply uncomfortable too. Those are usually the parts that you're supposed to be upset by, and I was. I know other people were too. When I learned that the board artist for that scene had a secret fetish, I was deeply upset by it. That's fucked up, I never said it wasn't. (I skip that scene on re-watches btw)

I also already stated very clearly in previous posts that everyone is allowed to have their own feelings about it, and they have every right to. Implying that I "didn't consider" that others are uncomfortable by forming my own opinions and finding things to like about it still is just completely incorrect. If someone is deeply upset or triggered by the content, THAT'S VERY VALID. I never said, at any point, that it wasn't.

As for Valentino's character, I just want him flat out DEAD. You're supposed to want him flat out dead. TONS of fans I see want him flat out dead. If I see a fan who really likes his character to a point it gets uncomfortable for me, I just block and move on because that shit's creepy. EVERYTHING about Val makes me extremely uncomfortable. The block button is magical. I'm in full control of my online experience.

As for Angel, if someone is uncomfortable with his character as a victim themselves, that's fine. I get that too. This show is DARK. Like, one of the darkest I've seen in years. Every single trigger warning is VERY earned. But I still find so many things to enjoy about it, all the other characters to root for! I find comfort in them. To me, Angel's character is wonderful. AND CHARLIE??? OMG I LOVE HER! People find comfort in different places, and that's ok.

If you're uncomfortable with the content and characters, that's valid. If you're uncomfortable with some of the other fans, that's valid too. I never said it wasn't, and I never said I spoke for anyone besides myself. It's not a perfect show by any means, but I'll always be glad I gave it a shot.

[joocin-thebox]

so when i was young i had this oc right her name is Kitten and ive had her since Middle School like 5th grade forward she is my MOST ICONIC oc to date but but but not my point

she, in her beginning, had two alter egos, one was an angel, and one was a devil, which explained why her tendencies were never... consistent

these two alter egos were ALWAYS at war with one another, and somewhere along the line i moved them to ANOTHER character's story but as wolves (not cats) who were Gods and they were in love but they kept fighting and hurting each other bc well that's just what happens when you're polar opposites

and man the... the ms paint edits i made of them...

their names were Kuza (dark) and Miaan (light) and they were literally just,,, i dont even have to explain

it was so edgy and i loved it so much

but then i revamped them AGAIN, bc... well idk i thought they were cringe before

but i gave Miaan a y in her name bc who cares In this rendition i made them both "entities" of the parts of the world they had control over, Miyaan controlled the heavens and the skies, and Kuza controlled the earth and the underworld

Both of them had equal domain over the after life but they were more so judges in death, that would decide where the soul would go (heaven or hell) or dole out a punishment that was purgatory, but for the MC they were like "no you've committed too many crimes you're not allowed to die :) but your friends? your loved ones? they will die. And we'll make sure you're there to witness it"

but then i made Kuza literally want the WORST for MC and ruin her life and possess her and stuff, then i scrapped that and tried to give them their own world

then i dropped it for other ocs

BUT NOW we've come full circle

im changing their names, or ill just make characters inspired by them, or subcharacters of them idk, i get attached to variations of my ocs :(

but Kuza is now Evermore, and Miyaan is now Dinah, they are cats and they've returned to being alter egos of Kitten

(this is Kitten btw)

and she hasn't had any like story type of relevance for a while bc she's just my oc that i put wherever i want, but we're gonna give her back to the roots

and my oldest AMV idea for her was The Pheonix and i just realized today that i am CAPABLE of scripting that AMV and bringing it to life, so i did that

Evermore is, resentful of Kitten bc she believes Dinah chose Kitten over her (to watch over her, rather than spend eternity with her, and yeah she's jealous), but bc they're all the same person, Dinah is Kitten and Kitten is Evermore, but Dinah isn't Evermore, they're... they're scorned lovers again

bc Dinah and Evermore spend so much time in Kitten's like,,, not headspace but like between worlds , her mindscape maybe? idkyet i dont really care for location, but they can make the world whatever they want, but Dinah has been so focused on keeping an eye on Kitten because Evermore's chaotic tendencies have been getting the best of her, and Evermore, barely aware of this, starts to fight with Dinah about it, which drives her away MORE

And then there's Evermore, left in the Realm alone to brood and fester her hated, so the world turns hostile and volcanic, and Evermore is just destroying the land because she feels so betrayed and alone (think Catra but not... not really)

so she brings Kitten to the Realm during her sleep, not every time but frequent enough, and Evermore's like "im actually going to kill you" and she KNOWS that Dinah is watching and technically present, and Kitten IS Dinah, but she's so upset that she's taking it out on both of them

in the script i had written, Dinah takes over Kitten's place in the Realm and fights Evermore, but its too much for Kitten bc while Kitten has magic, she doesnt have nearly a quarter as much as Dinah and Evermore do, so she's like losing her grip in the battle and growing weak, but Dinah pushes on, and the fight continues

it doesnt have a clear winner, bc they're destined to fight for eternity at this point bc of how their priorities have changed, but yeah

:) those r my ocs of the night, i like them

[decayaway2007]

god help meeee

srsly idk why this always happens basically my mum came into my room asking for my school dress and i opened the door and gave it to her, and she asked like why do i always have  the lights off i just said i like it when its dark. THENNN she went full on screaming/ranting about how im demonic, and there únclean’’ spirits inside of me and that im letting evil stuff take over me just alot weird crap, this always happens since shes now ‘christian’’ shes says shes chrisitain but she doesnt act like it at all honestly. yeah so since she was screaming rlly loud i just turned on some music so i wouldnt have to hear her and it wsnt that loud.

then she starts saying im listenign to demonic music, it was literally japan by yotclub u can listen to it and see how mental she is for thinking that.  THENNN she full on starts trying to smash the door down to get into my room, i just told her to leave me alone please and she full on started screaming that im disrespectful or smt idk why she says but yeah. then she starts screaming for my dad to come she probably told him so weird crap abt what i did so he starts screaming to open the door then he gets this key to unlock it or smt. yeah i get upset rlly easy so i was pretty screaming/crying to leave me alone, so i just had to sit in the corner of my room. i was honestly getting rlly upset and out of control but honestly i didnt say anything offensive to them at all besides ‘’leave me alone please and stop’’ and they went ballistic. my dad kinda cooled down and left but my mum was still screaming again saying i was ungrateful and complain all the time.

LIKE HONESTT HOW!!!??!?! i literally never said anything to her like ever, i bet if i asked her to give an exmaple she wouldnt have anything to say, since i basically stay in my room, study, play videos, draw, make food and repeat.THEN she was saying i act depressed and crap WHEN I LITERALLY DONT!??!?!?!?! like srsly they think just because im more introverted im acting depressed or smt, honestly ive never been good at expressing emotions either to littel or too extreme so when im happy i dont look that happy, they expect me to act like a cartooon character or smt when im happy i dont get it.

then my dad was complaining abt how i didnt sya goodnight to him last night when dude u didnt say it too me either i dont get why he is complaining its not like i have a meltdown when mum never ever says goodnight to me anymore.

ALSOO this is the worst part and genuinely kinda hurts i just feel like my mum likes my brother way more sometimes like during the midst of that argument like she starts jokingly talking to my brother and then continues screaming at me also just in general everytime she talks to me her tone harsheness and not like i can point it out to anyone cause they wil just defend her. i just srsly as pathetic as this seems wish my mum expressed that she loved me more like how she does with my brother. And honestly she always says its because hes more repesctful and loving to her but he always says crap to her way more than me and gets away with it bcs its fricken him, if i said that she wouldnt talk to me for days properly, i just cant stand it sometimes, like once i begged my brother to call my mum to ask for cookies cause i knew she would probs say yes to him, but he made me talk so asked her for them and she said i had like sugar cravings and eat too much, AND WHEN she answered the call she was like my brothers name very happily and when i said hi she was just like ‘’oh yeah OC what do u want’’ its just things like that, which make it obvious how she feels abt me sometimes.

[milktea067]

Please don’t take my sunshine away.

I HAD THE BEST IDEA EVER AND ITS LIKE 6:00 AM RN. I CANT LET MYSELF FORGET THIS SO I GOTTA DO IT NOW I HOPE YOU DONT MIND.

Sunnydrop x gender neutral reader! Platonic!

Warnings:mentions of sunny having a bad day! ☹️ mentions of sunny getting yelled at by a parent because of moon! Mentions of possible character death (moon/sun getting deactivated) mentions of anger, mentions of reader crying (Let me know if I missed any warnings!)

Angst and comfort!

Not proofread very well!

Written at like 6:30 in the morning so please forgive me 😭🙏

———————————————————————

“What is wrong with you! Can’t you control that dreadful thing! You scared my boy! He nearly got a concussion trying to get away from you!” A parent screamed, making sunny flinch while he looked down at the ground.

He was sorry, he was really really sorry, he never meant for anyone to get hurt, especially one of his little children. It wasn’t like him and moon were the same person, even though they shared the same body. He tried to control him, he really did! But…it doesn’t always work the way he wants it to.

“I-I’m sorry! I-I tried not to let him come out-“ sunny started, attempting to reach out to the little boy and comfort him. The little boy was crying and frightened, and sunny didn’t blame him.

Before his hand could make contact with the child, sunny saw him visibly flinch and cry out in fear.

What..?

Was he really that scary..? All he did was want to make the boy feel better…! Why couldn’t moon just behave! Now he was getting screamed at for something that wasn’t even his fault.

Instead of saying anything else, he stood there for the next five minutes and let the parent yell and scold him, even standing through it when they threatened to report him to the main office and have him disassembled.

After a while the angry parent stormed out, leaving sunny quaking with fear and guilt. Disassembled…? He knew the situation was bad, and he was trying to keep the lights on in the daycare more often, but disassembled…?

He was trying his hardest, and they were still going to take him apart. He was scared. Scared of what it would be like when he was taken apart and never put back together again, but most importantly, he was scared that he would never see you again. 

You would be sad if he left one day and never came back, but you would be even more sad if you knew there was a chance he would be deactivated. He couldn’t tell you what was happening, he didn’t want you to he even more upset than you have to be.

(Time-skip to when you come in for your shift a couple days later!)

It was just after 11:00 p.m. and you had gotten here a bit early. You were excited because you had made plans with a certain someone. You and him hadn’t gotten to hang out together lately, and you wanted to be around him again like you used to before you had gotten less hours.

For the past couple weeks you and him had been trying to hanging around each other more in an attempt to come back together, after nearly being laid off you had to prove you could be useful again which meant time apart from your best friend.

Sunny? Sunny seemed happy to have you back with him, so…why did you find a big banner hanging above the daycare doors that said something that utterly confused you.

“Y/n has been banned from the daycare!”

What..? Why! You hadn’t done anything wrong! What made it even worse was that he had put a frowning face at the end of it, it looked like it was angry and sad at the same time.

Deciding to go in there and give sunny a piece of your mind, you reached up and grabbed it, yanking it down off the wall and bringing it in there as you stormed past the doors.

“Sunny sunrise!!” You yelled, holding the banner angrily in your hands.

Oh no, you used his full name AND you sounded mad. He never meant to make you mad, he hated putting up that banner, he knew it would make you sad.

“Y-yea..?” He said, peaking out from behind his curtain timidly. He had already gotten yelled at by a parent, he was sure getting scolded by you would make him feel worse.

“What is this?” You said, tapping your foot on the ground as you held up the fabric thing high enough he could see and read it. You wanted answers and you wanted them now. You didn’t almost get fired because you were hanging out with him to have him bale AND ban you on your designated hang out night.

“I-it’s a sign! A-and you’re supposed to be banned!” He said, hiding more behind the curtain. Okay, If you weren’t angry before, you were furious now.

You fumed as you hopped into the ball-pit and walked through it to the other side, pulling yourself up onto solid ground before making your way behind sunny’s curtain.

Oh no, he really did it now.

“What do you mean I’m banned! I didn’t do anything! Plus we were supposed to be hanging out tonight.” You said, tossing the banner to the floor. Despite being human, you were just as intuitive as sunny was. You knew something was wrong. He would never just do this to you without a reason.

“I-I…I don’t wanna be friends anymore!” He said, quickly covering his mouth as he processed the words he just said. Looking up at you to see if you really heard the awful words he just spoke, he froze.

The look on your face was nothing short of hurt, hurt and pain. Once you got over the initial shock of what he had said tears began to fill your eyes and stream down your cheeks. For a moment your anger disappeared, completely over shadowed by sadness. That didn’t last very long, though.

The sight broke sunny’s heart, not only were you crying but you were crying because of something he had said! He never wanted you to cry. That was the exact reason he was shutting you out and pushing you away.

“I-I’m…I’m so-“ he started, beginning to reach his hand out once more only to have you brush it off while you stormed out of his room and towards the door.

You didn’t understand, and that just made you more angry. What did you do to deserve this? If that’s what he really wants than so be it.

Once he realized the gravity of the situation, he immediately began to scramble towards you, calling out to you and begging you to wait for just a second. He had fallen and tripped many times, (mainly in the ball-pit) but that didn’t stop him from grabbing onto you in a tight bear hug from behind before you could open the doors.

“Get off of me! What do you think you’re doing! You wanted me to leave so I’m leaving!!” You said, trying to reach the door handle while he dragged you backwards and held you above his head to make sure you couldn’t run anymore.

“J-just let me say something! I-i promise you this will all make sense if you just let me speak!” He said, holding your thrashing and kicking frame above his head while he looked up at you.

“No! You said what you wanted to say isn’t that enough!” You yelled, your voice breaking as tears streamed down your cheeks and fell like rain onto his metal face.

He wanted to cry too, but unfortunately he couldn’t physically express that and it drove him crazy.

“Y-y/n I’m sorry! I never meant what I said! I-I love being friends with you! You’re my only friend in the whole world!” He said, his voice also shakily and broken as If he himself was on the verge of tears.

“T-than why…why are you pushing me away all of the sudden…did I do something wrong..?” You said, finally going limp in his hold and slowly looking up to meet his eyes.

He couldn’t stand your heartbroken face, or the fact that you thought it was your fault he was acting like this. Even though he knew it would hurt, he couldn’t let you go home thinking that he didn’t like you anymore.

“No…I-I didn’t want you to be sad when…I-I didn’t want you to be sad when I’m not around anymore…a-and I thought that maybe…maybe If we weren’t friends anymore you wouldn’t cry so bad when…”

He said, unable to get the rest of the words out. He dreaded what he was about to say next, but he knew that you had the right to know.

“When I’m deactivated…”

What…? Deactivated..? What does he mean deactivated…? You hadn’t heard anything from the main office, nor did he have any maintenance check appointments that you knew of, so why did he think he was getting deactivated?

“S-sunny, what do you mean…? You’re not gonna get deactivated..! I-If you were they would’ve told me! You know even if they did try…I wouldn’t let them…” you said, looking up at him while he slowly lowered you to the ground.

“B-but…but the mean lady…! She said that she would report me..!” He said, still holding onto your shoulders as he searched your face for a sign you might know what he was talking about.

You thought for a moment, thinking back to earlier in the week when you saw a lady and her son go up to the main office to speak to someone about the daycare attendant but no one was there, then watching as she walked out and told her son to forget about it and they would just find somewhere new to play.

You had forgotten about it, it was a couple days ago and you hadn’t had time to visit sun until today, so it had just slipped your mind.

“If you’re talking about the lady with the little boy, she left…she tried to talk to someone, but employee that runs the main office was on lunch break…she just took her son home…” you said, sighing softly as tried not to laugh at the odd circumstance.

You saw sun visibly relax at this, slowly pulling you into a hug as he rested his head on your shoulder. You felt horrible that he had been so scared and so sad for days while you had been working at the other end of the mega-plex. It wasn’t fair to him that you weren’t around as much, and you were gonna try and fix that.

“Everything’s okay now…you need to relax a bit…I know you robots don’t get tired, but you should rest a little bit…you must have been stressing for days…” you said, holding his hand.

He agreed as he let you walk him back to his room. He had just been through mental hell, and all he wanted right now was to cuddle with his best friend. You had just the thing, too.

Eventually you had him lying on the floor with his head in your lap, still holding his hand as he closed his eyes and listened to the sound of your breathing. He liked hearing the sound of your breathing and your heart beating, it let him know you were still here with him.

You and him had always cuddled together when one of you felt bad, and you always sang small songs in an attempt to comfort one another or made you two laugh to brighten the mood, and right now you thought that he needed that.

Still holding his hand, you began to brainstorm what song you should sing to him tonight, and soon enough you thought or the perfect one.

Sun was beginning to get comfortable on your lap, trying his hardest not to lay in a way that made your legs hurt or go numb. The happenings of today still plagued his mind, making him a little restless before your familiar voice broke through the silence and fog of his crowded mind.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…you make me happy…when skies are grey….you’ll never know, dear…how much I love you…” you whispered, still in a soft singing voice as you ran your thumb over sunny’s palm, letting him know that you meant each and every word you spoke.

“Please don’t take…my sunshine away…”

Wow, sorry about how long it is and some of you might find this last part cringe- (sorry it was early in the morning and I had just woken up with that idea) but I hope you like it!

Taglist!: @starryshipz @caigas-bullshit @boxofbadsenses @femalemarvelself





[bakubabes-tatakae]

Request by anon: hii! so i’ve been thinking about this for a couple days because i just watched The Vow. so can i request HCs on what Dabi, Hawks, Shigaraki, Bakugou and Overhaul would do if their SO got into some kind of accident and they forgot who they were. who would give up? who would try to help them remember? eee thank you! (you dont have to do all the characters i listed, whichever ones you feel comfortable writing for!!). xoxo.

I can definitely do all of them for you nonny, they’ll just be a little shorter. 👏❤️ And Dabi’s is super angsty so I apologize about that... but it’s the first thing that came to find for him.

Dabi

I think out of all of these men the only person that would give up when his S/O doesn’t remember them is this man right here.

But don’t misunderstand me... it won’t be because he doesn’t want to deal with with hassle. Dabi is going to be one of those men that doesn’t believe that he’s any good for his S/O... it’ll be his chance to give you a better life.

When he hears about your accident and shows up at the hospital he’s going to be absolutely broken.

When he sees you and hears you say the words “Do I know you?” he’s going to be even more broken. But you deserve a better life than a life with a villain and he’s going to give you that.

Walking out of that hospital room is going to be one of the hardest things that he’s ever done, but he’s going to do it for you.

But he’ll keep tabs on you. Dabi wants to make sure that you actually have a better life without him. He’ll help out however he can without actually letting you know that he’s there.

Keigo “Hawks” Takami

You know that the second that Hawks hears that his S/O is in the hospital he’s going to be there in a heartbeat.

He’ll enter that hospital room at full speed, barely able to stop himself as he makes it through the door.

But as his S/O looks over at him in shock and their eyes grow wide, it’ll be for a reason he wasn’t expecting.

“Aren’t you the Pro Hero Hawks?”

He’ll walk forward and think your joking. “Don’t scare me like that, baby girl. That’s not funny.”

That’s when he notices the look on your face, pure and genuine confusion at the reason he said that.

He’ll walk back out of the room to the doctor and when he finds out what happened he’ll be heart broken. But you bet he’s going to make sure that you feel those same sparks as you did with him before.

Hawks doesn’t care how long it takes. He’s going to remind you why you once loved him and he’s not going to stop until you’re his again.

Tomura Shigaraki

When the Vangaurd comes back into the hideout with you unconscious Shigaraki is going to be furious. He wants to know who hurt you and how it happened. He never thought that the worst would happen.

When your eyes opened he expected that you’d be happy to see him, he expected that you’d try to jump into his arms. He wanted nothing more than to feel your arms around him again.

But your reaction is the same as it was when he first met you... when he first tried to convince you to join him in the fight against the heroes.

You jump back and try to get away from him. “You’re the leader of the League of Villains!” You’ll move quickly and realize that you can’t move as easily as you thought.

Shigaraki will catch you as you almost fall out of the bed and as upset about it as he is, he’ll be a little excited to be able to show you all over again how good it felt to be taken over to the dark side.

But there will always be that little part of him that’s scared you’ll change your mind this time.

Katsuki Bakugou

Katsuki never leaves your side.

The second he got the phone call from Kirishima about an accident happening with you on their mission he’s panicking. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him and he couldn’t imagine life without you.

Katsuki sleeps at your side for days. He only leaves to grab food and use the restroom. He’s going to be there the second you wake up. Nothing will stop him from doing that.

So when he hears a faint voice speaking his hero name as he lays against your bed he spring up, more awake than he had been in days.

But when he looks at your face and sees the confusion he’s even more worried than he was before you woke up.

“What are you doing here?” Thats when it hits him. You don’t remember every being in love with him. Why else wouldn’t you have called him Katsu?

Katsuki takes a deep breath. “I’ll be right back. Let me go and get Kirishima.” He’ll walk out of the room and find his best friend.

When Kirishima sees his distraught look he’ll take him into the empty waiting room and ask him what’s going on.

Katsuki will slam his fists into the wall, having to control himself harder than he ever had to not blow a hole right through it and explains everything to his friend.

“Don’t worry Bakugou,” Kirishima gives him that happy go lucky smile. “We’ll get her to remember. Just believe it.”

Katsuki turns and leans against the wall. “I’ll love her forever. I won’t give up until the day I die.”

Kai “Overhaul” Chisaki

You can bet your ass that you won’t be in any hospital when you get into your accident. Overhaul brings you home, no one will give his angel better treatment than he will.

Chrono will be on watch over you any time that he’s away or in his office and he’s to inform him the second that you wake up.

But when you wake up and Chrono goes to leave he hears your instant panic.

“Where am I?”

Chrono stops in his tracks and turns back to you. “Do you know my name?”

When you stare at him and the panic in your eyes grows he shouts for another of the men to go and get the boss so that he can stay with you.

When Overhaul gets down to your room and walks in a smile paints his face, pulling up at his mask. “My angel, you’re alright. Thank god.”

You stared in horror as you spotted the man. You were convinced you had been kidnapped.

That’s when realization his him. You had no idea who he was.

And from that point on he made it his mission to remind you that he loved you. Remind you that the two of you were meant to be. He took his wallet from his pocket and took the picture of the two of you that he carried with him.

He stepped closer and held it out. “I’m not an enemy. You were in an accident. My name is Kai Chisaki... and I’m your fiancé.” He pointed to your hand and you looked down at your ring before taking the picture from him. “Let me help you remember.”

Taglist: @monic00l @strangeinternetwasteland @rowley-with-ackerman @chaoticsimptown @ellechanwrites @bonnisimpparker @impinthecloset @nikiniki743 @taliyahvermillion @maat-the-prescriptive

[eremiie]

i saw this post here and just wanted to dissect everything lmao

aot 139 spoilers 

“Eren admits that he literally killed 80% of the world’s population, he then says he only did it so it would look like eldians stopped a threat”

eren admit to killing 80% of the population bc he did... he’s admitting to what he did, and he says that he wanted to paint them to be the heroes— but not only did he do that, he ended the curse of ymir and gained freedom for his people. it wasn’t just to paint them as heroes

“He also did it so the rest of the world couldnt murder them”

he didn’t “also” do it for that reason, it was an effect, the rumbling ended up killing so many people that they can’t wage war on the eldians like eren says, it keeps them a little safe which they needed especially since some of humanity knows that paradis is what started the rumbling. it’s a cause and effect type thing. because eren killed 80% of the population that remaining population won’t be able to retaliate and try to kill the eldians since there are so little of them

the tybur family is treated like some of martyr and apparently pulling the strings which led to the deaths of millions of innocent eldians was actually a GOOD thing

this scene was interpreted wrong, armin says “...so you want us to be like the tyburs after the great titan war? we’re supposed to protect paradis from reprisal from humanity outside the walls?” he’s asking eren if that’s what they’re gonna do, he never says it’s a good thing. then that’s when eren explains that either way so much of humanity is destroyed that they wouldn’t be able to retaliate if they wanted to

Armin THANKS him for it

armin thanks eren for doing what he did to free them. not thanking eren for for mass murder period. it’s because of eren that the curse is lifted and that they are free and that’s what armin’s thanking eren for. mass murder is inexcusable, and eren knows that. that’s why after he panics and goes “but i dont want to die!” he comes to a realization that all the people he killed didn’t want to either, that the only way to atone for his sins is by dying himself. even if he didn’t die he would’ve probably been executed, or imprisoned for the rest of the life. just like in mikasa’s ova, “eren’s death is inevitable, no matter what reality you go to eren will always die because he carries death within himself.” 

in another translation of the chapter armin thanks eren for being the bad guy so that they could win. he knows what eren did was bad. he’s not excusing it, he just understands why eren had to do it and that eren had no choice if he wanted them to be free. 

from the get go freedom was one of the themes of eren’s character. if eren lived the whole entire world would be ruins and eren would’ve been even sadder than now, there would be nobody and it would’ve been worse than it is now. eren killing everyone was definitely not the ending to go. the ending we have could’ve been executed differently, sure, but in my eyes since i get the gist i think isa did an amazing job portraying what he had in mind. 

“Armin is more upset with Eren saying he doesnt know how he feels about Mikasa moving on than mass genocide”

once again, armin isn’t all that upset with eren because he understands that eren had a path laid out for him that he had no choice to follow. the point of eren committing mass genocide keeps getting brought up as if it’s not know that mass genocide is a terrible thing. it is and that’s why everyone was so angry about it from the get go, that’s why that one plan of blackmailing humanity with the rumbling and not actually go through with it was brought up once— because they knew how cruel it is. armin knew how cruel it is as i believe it was him who brought that up

he’s upset with eren about mikasa’s feelings in like a banter kind of way. it’s like “this whole entire time this is how you felt but you couldn’t tell her that and let her suffer???? don’t forget what you said to her, she went through hell!” kind of thing. they had already talked about the whole mass genocide thing, mikasa was the next topic of discussion

“Eren then finally shows some fucking emotion and cries abt how he doesn’t want mikasa to be with anyone but him”

in another post i say, "okay so first i think the issue is that a lot of people fail to realize that the way eren acted all throughout season 4 isn’t eren really, that is him putting his emotions at bay so that he can complete something that he laid out for himself for his friends.eren from season 1-3 still exists, and that’s lowkey the eren that was talking the whole time in chapter 139— you can see the how he cares for his friends, you can see the desperation again, the compassion, everything in between.” 

eren is still that s1-3 eren, season 4 eren just had to put his emotions aside so he could walk on the path that ymir put in front of him. 

him crying over mikasa was one of his selfish desires coming to light, and it was realistic. it’s finally dawning on him that he’s gonna die, he’s finally getting to sit down and ponder about mikasa, he’s getting desperate, he’s panicking, and that compassion that he’s always had for his friends is showing through again. this gives realism to his character— it makes his character all the more human. one second he’s complaining about how he doesn’t want to die and wants to be with his friends bc its crashing on him, and the very next second he’s trying to be at peace with himself, realising that the only way to atone for what he caused is by dying. one second he’s complaining about how he wants miksa to be with anyone but him, the next second he’s coming to terms with himself and that mikasa needs to move on, because he loves her and wants her to live a long and happy life even if it means without him. the selfishness that showed for that mere second makes his character realistic. it shows that he’s still whiny, that little whiny angry boy from s1-3. he was never heartless and he was never cold. he was and is still eren jaeger, and you get a glimpse of the eren we know in that scene.

The founder ymir was apparently in love with the king???? another women stupidly devoted to a man, great.

i’m not too in depth with ymirs story so im not gonna speak too much about this because i myself do wish that whole love thingy went more into depth. i get how mikasa and ymir parallel each other, but other than that i’m not too sure myself, and i’ll admit that. it could be a case of stockholm syndrome, it could be that bc ymir was infatuated with living and she was confined to such a familial role she wanted to live in that role again with the king bc he’s the only person who gave her that familial lifestyle. i’m not sure. but if anything mikasa was im pretty sure the only character “devoted” to a man in aot. and it was because of the role eren played in her life, she’s not a bad written character, she has her developement. which i explain here

apparently mikasa’s unhealthy devotion to eren is what took her out of it????? in fact the series overly romanticizes mikasa’s love for eren despite the two having no chemistry and eren being an ass to her

in a sense, but that’s a simple minded way of saying it. ymir’s devotion to king fritz was unhealthy, eren describes it as “agony of love” because it was pretty unhealthy obvi. like i said ymir and mikasa parallel each other, and seeing mikasa be able to let go and kill the one she loves was that realization for ymir that she was able to do the same thing— that’s how i interpret that scene personally.

and in mikasa doing so, killing eren lifts that curse of ymir and frees ymir regardless, so ymir was happy about that as well. thanks to mikasa for cutting eren’s head off. 

the series doesn’t necessarily over romanticize mikasa’s love for eren in my opinion. how i see it is that since eren is a big part of mikasa’s character he was necessary for her development as well, and her development was to let eren go because of how infatuated she was with him. this being said the series points out how unhealthy the way she loved him was especially in s1-3, and her love becomes more healthy when she gets her development in chap 139, finally being able to let eren go and move on. compare that to in the s1 when eren almost dies and she’s ready to die as well. thats development if you ask me. 

one of the themes of the show is sacrifice, and almost every character has made one, mikasa sacrifices eren— she kills him and she chooses to go through with that decision despite how much she loves him. 

eren was definitely mean to mikasa in s1-3 because she was overbearing, and thats one reason why i say the way she loved him was unhealthy at first. eren wasn’t able to reciprocate her love in the way that she loved him because it wasn’t healthy. eren also wasn’t able to reciprocate it because the last thing he was focused on was the concept of love. once again he had a path laid out for him that he had no choice but to follow, and mikasa didn’t have any play in this path until the very end, so the boy who keeps moving forward does just that and doesn’t pay her much mind, doesn’t get to sit down and think about his feelings for her, what she is to him.

(and i dont think i even need to explain the “mikasa i’ve always hated you seen, the chapter covers that enough)

they do have chemistry time to time, the eren v dina fritz scene, the scarf scene, “what am i to you”, little stuff like that goes into play and gives them these little sparks of chemistry. they couldn’t always grasp onto the full scope of the relationship they had and it was only some times they were able to do that with everything going on.

apparently the titans are just gone now….??? i cant even tell if its because Eren died or because Mikasa really made Ymir calm down

... eren controlling rumbling, eren dies rumbling stops, ymir finally lifts curse bc 1) eren died 2) shes able to come to realization that like mikasa lets eren go, she needs to let fritz go and the curse go. ymir lifts curse, eren’s goal is complete, if titan curse is lifted there are no more titans

Characters who murdered thousands and were the cause for AOT’s entire plot in the first place are now treated as heroes to the eldians… despite the shit that they did.

everyone in aot did some “shit” they all are murders, eren commited mass genocide, reiner commited mass murder, annie murdered so many people, reiner, armin destroyed thousands of people in one go, they all have killed somebody. they are seen as “heros” because they stopped the rumbling that was going to kill everyone else...... idk about you but if you just saved me from a horrid death, my racist opinion on you doesn’t really matter because you just saved my fucking life lmao, yes despite the shit that you did— because they have killed people too, and they were ready to kill the eldians still until armin told them that they killed eren, that they saved their lives and eliminated titans for good.... like whew???

the series went from “The military is cool” to “the military did a lot of fucked up shit” to “the military is SUPER cool”, and buffed it up

i’m not really sure where you got that tbh,, like the military wasn’t really a big thing up until the whole marleyan thing??? and they didn’t have much plot in the story besides it existing so like i’m not sure what to say ab this, i can’t really remember many times the military was even mentioned until now, but if anyone wants to elaborate on this for me that’d be nice

oh and they buffed up the military because since paradis had eren jaeger who started the rumbling, just in case, they had to be ready to fight again if the rest of humanity wanted to do something. after marley they updated all their technology, why can’t they update the military as well? it’s realistic, new weapons, new military, and all that

The military was buffed up bc the eldians are scared of the rest of the world retaliating, so Eren didn’t really fix shit except giving the Eldians an upper hand in the war

eren jaeger was the one who always screamed “i will kill all titans, we will get freedom” ya de ya de ya.... didn’t he do both of those things????? i thought those were some of his main goals as a character, he fixed those issues, the issues that have been issues since the start of the show

the rest of humanity don’t know the full scope like the eldians or marleyans, they’re probably just as scared and like in real life not all nations are at peace with one another. this is just another realistic factor— attack on titan is becoming a world closest to the real one we live in, there are militaries, there are still conflicts, there is still all these little aspects that bring the manga even more to life.

in my opinion it’d lowkey be weird if the rest of the world was just like “oh yeah those mfs that started the rumbling we love them haha” no... it killed 80% of the population like eren said... that’s not something to love.

Historia has a really disturbing speech about how the fight isnt going to end until either the Eldians or the rest of the world are exterminated, despite Gabi has an entire arc about her being deradicalized and learning to see the other side of things.

and yes i am not kidding, the heroic conclusion is that there’s still going to be a war, eldians are going to commit mass genocide (which was proposed by eren) and people straight up thank eren for the evil shit he did.

“this fight will not end until either eldia or the world dissapears. this is what eren said and he may be right.” she doesn’t say that it’s for sure gonna be a fight until one or the other is wiped out, she says there’s a possibility of this being the case because of the fact that these nations aren’t at complete peace yet. 

not everyone is gonna be able to see the other side of things, and this applies to the whole word— us as humans will never be able to agree on one thing, and that’s what this shows. no matter what the cycle of hatred will always continue, and this applies to real life and this manga. we are human beings and that’s what makes what historia says even more real. “this is the world we live in, a world without titans.” titans are no longer their conflict. now it’s only like the real word— humans against humans, and as far as humanity existed it’s always been humans against humans. historia’s speech shows that.

the heroic conclusion is that as a human race nothing will always be agreed upon, eldians are going to fight if they need to like our military fights when they need to. people are thanking eren for freeing them and ending the curse of titans that they suffered with for 2000 years. nobody’s thanking him for his actions of mass genocide, they are thanking him for the motive behind his actions, and thats what makes him so heroic.

that he endured and did something so terrible so that anybody who lives after him can be free, and humanity can continue existing as humanity should’ve existed from the beginning.

and that concludes this for me, thanks for reading<3.

[cluster-fandom]

Not the day for this

Atsumu, Oikawa, and Noya prank their S/O on a bad day

Warnings: Swearing, food/eating || hospital mention, knife mention, stitches mention, and getting a cut in Noya’s (nothing descriptive just the words themselves)

A/N: This is my first time writing for multiple characters! I enjoyed this a lot 

I was heavily inspired by @kybabi​ !! Go check them out if you haven’t before :)

Atsumu

• Today was not your day at all

• You had failed a test and got in an argument with your best friend

• So all you really wanted to do was come home to your boyfriend and relax

• Unfortunately Atsumu was not aware of how your day had been going

• You both liked to poke fun at each other and this time Atsumu had planned what he thought was an amazing prank

• He couldn’t wait for you to get home

You were driving home from university to your shared apartment with Atsumu. Between the frustration of scoring low a test you had studied so hard for and getting into a dumb fight with one of your best friends, you were ready to snap. The heat didn’t help anything either. At the very least you got to come home to Atsumu. The thought of being wrapped up in your boyfriends arms had kept you from lashing out at anyone that came in contact with you.

You two had been together for over a year and while he could be insufferable at times, you adored him. He was always making you laugh through his ridiculousness, and you were the same. But your favorite memories were when he looked at you with that lopsided grin and said that he loved you.

As you walked up to your front door you noticed it was slightly open.

‘Did Atsumu forget to close the door?’ You briefly wonder before going inside where it was cool.

“Ats-OH MY GOD!”

You were drenched in ice water and the bucket that had been sitting on the door clanked to the floor.

“HEY BABE I THOUGHT YOU COULD USE SOME COOLING OFF!” Atsumu grinned, finding his prank hilarious.

“FUCKING HELL ATSUMU THIS WAS NOT WHAT I NEEDED TODAY!” You yell as you shake your arms of water.

You shove past him towards the bathroom where you could get a towel and hairdryer.

“Wait wait wait! It was just a joke I’m sorry!” He’s fumbling over his words in confusion.

He follows you into the bathroom where you were shoving things out of the way to get your hairdryer out of the cabinet.

“Babe- I’m sorry I didn’t know you’d be mad!” He whines.

You ignore him as you try to (unsuccessfully) untangle the cord of your hairdryer.

“God-dammit-“ you mumble as you only end up getting it more tangled.

“Do you want me to hel-“

“NO ATSUMU IVE GOT IT!” You snap at him.

“Why are you so mad?” He’s genuinely confused. You’ve never been this mad at a prank before?? And this wasn’t even the worst one he’s done-

“I DONT KNOW MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM DRENCHED AND FREEZING FUCKING COLD? JUST- LEAVE ME ALONE RIGHT NOW!” You’re just done with everything and Atsumu can clearly tell he’s not making anything better at the moment so he retreats to the living room.

After you’ve dried your hair and changed into some dry clothes you went to you and Atsumu’s shared bedroom.

You were scrolling on your phone when there was a knock at the door.

Atsumu cautiously stepped into the room.

“Y/N, can we talk?”

You sighed and set your phone aside.

When you nodded, Atsumu sat on the bed in front of you.

“I’m sorry I upset you. The prank wasn’t funny,” he looked at you with guilty eyes.

“I’m not mad about the prank. I’ve just had a really bad day and it all piled up and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have yelled, I’m sorry.”

You explained the events of your day and how you had wanted some quality time with him, and instead you had gotten an ice bath.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I never wanted to make you feel so bad. Let me make it up to you?” He pleaded. He gave you his biggest puppy dog eyes. (🥺)

Your heart melted and of course you said yes.

He perked up immediately, rushing out of the room. He came back with an armful of snacks and settled in next to you. He switched on your favorite movie and pulled you onto his lap.

“I love you so, so much baby,” he whispered into your hair. He leaned down to press a kiss into your cheek.

“And I love you,” you whispered back.

Oikawa

• You knew that with dating Oikawa, people would be jealous

• But his fangirls could get really bad sometimes

• Today they had been following you around saying how you weren’t pretty enough, smart enough for him

• It had gotten to you a little bit

• So you were ready to be home with your boyfriend away from others eyes

• Oikawa had no clue of this though and had devised, in his mind, a brilliant prank to get a rise out of you once you got home

You were finally home to your apartment with Oikawa. He had been on his phone when you walked in and greeted you with his signature grin. After a tight hug, he said he needed to go grab something in the bedroom.

You settled down on the couch letting your body relax on the plush cushions.

*bzzt bzzt*

You looked to see that Oikawa had left his phone behind. You were about to go back to resting, until you registered the name of the sender.

You bolted upright and grabbed the phone, hoping you had read it wrong.

#1 Fangirl 😉

You and Oikawa had been together for a year and you trusted him with your entire being. But seeing that name made fear pool in your stomach.

You didn’t dare to unlock his phone, despite knowing his password, for fear of what you might find.

Your thoughts were running a mile a minute as you entered your bedroom where Oikawa was in the closet.

Was there someone else? He wouldn’t do that to you right? He seemed so happy with you. He had never said he wasn’t satisfied with anything at all. Nothing had changed recently, so was something going on the whole time? Were his fangirls right?

That last question scared you the most.

“Love?” You called out.

Oikawa had a devilish smirk on his face. He knew that you would have seen the texts by now. He had come up with the prank a few days ago and was excited for you to get smart with him and call out the obvious.

“Yes?” He called back, not looking to you.

“Who’s number one fangirl?” You said, voice shaking. You didn’t know when your vision had started going blurry.

At the sound of your shaky voice, your boyfriend whipped around, eyes wide.

“Oh Angel, it’s nobody, it was all a prank I swear,” he pulled you to his chest, “I asked Iwa-Chan to help me, that’s who’s actually sending the texts.”

“S-so you’re not cheating on me?” You hiccup slightly and Oikawa’s heart aches he wipes away a stray tear. He mentally slaps himself for making you insecure.

“Never. I would never leave you for some other girl who just wants me for my looks. You love me for who I am and I am so, so grateful to have you,” he holds you tighter to him.

Once you’ve collected yourself, you tell him about all the things that had been said to you and how it had made you doubt if you were good enough for him. He quietly listened to you talk, holding you the entire time until you were finished.

He gently lifted your face up to meet his eyes. You noticed how his jaw was clenched and his lips were pressed in a thin line.

“Y/N. I am so sorry that those people made you feel unworthy. I promise, you are more than I could have ever asked for. They won’t bother you again ok?” His voice was low, but still as gentle as ever. His eyes softened as he looked at you. He let his muscles relax and gave you a small smile.

Your heart felt full as you nodded.

“Okay, now why don’t we go to the couch and cuddle for a while. Let me show you how much I love you,” he gave your forehead a light kiss.

You smiled up at him.

“I love you Tōru.”

“I love you more, Angel.”

Nishinoya

• You were one inconvenience away from exploding

• You worked the customer service center at your malls department store (it hadn’t been your first choice but you needed money) and you had already had to deal with two Karens this morning

• The second one actually made your manager come down, who wasn’t happy about that

• So now you were at risk of losing your job

• Thankfully though you finally got to go on your lunch break

• You were excited because your boyfriend had time to spend it with you today

• You needed the pick me up and Noya’s naturally energetic personality never failed to do so

• Unfortunately, Nishinoya decided that today was the perfect day to execute his genius prank

You growled in annoyance as your keys got momentarily stuck in the lock to your apartment.

You had been yelled at three times today already. By two entitled middle aged women who wouldn’t listen to you no matter how many times you gave an explanation to them, and then by your manager who told you off for making him get involved with your “nonsense.”

You had been hanging on to your last shred of self control to not start screaming at your boss.

But you were home now and were more than ready to have a nice lunch with your boyfriend.

“Y/N! YOU’RE HOME!” You stumbled back as you were tackled in a hug.

“I made you lunch!” Noya grinned as he released you from his hold.

You giggled as he grabbed your hand to lead you to the kitchen.

Now, you loved Noya, but his cooking was, well, not edible sometimes. But he seemed to have gone pretty safe this time around.

There were two bowls of ramen with bread rolls on the side.

“Looks like someone was busy,” you tease. He rolls his eyes and motions for you to eat.

You were listening to Noya talk about his morning while you ate.

“And then I-“

“AH! HOT! HOT! HOT!” You were panting. The noodles were spicier than you could handle. You took a bite of the bread and nearly puked.

“Is- IS THAT MAYONNAISE?!?” You cough trying to get the awful tastes out your mouth. You rush to the fridge and down a glass of milk.

“Yū what the fuck?!” You say after catching your breath.

“What? I thought you said you wanted to expand your palette,” he’s wearing a smug grin.

You huff and get your things together to leave.

“Wait- don’t go!” He’s scrambling to catch up to you.

“I can’t do this today. I’ll see you after my shift,” you slam the door behind you as you leave.

You picked up a quick meal from the food court and find an empty table to eat at.

You had turned your phone off, not wanting to hear your notifications go off. The rest of your shift was uneventful thankfully, but you were still beyond irritated.

It was twenty minutes until the end of your shift when you turn your phone back on. You had about a dozen texts from Yū, which you were expecting, but you had a missed call from Tanaka from five minutes ago.

Confused, you called back.

“Hello?”

“Y/N! Uh, so you see, Noya he- well he was trying to make something up to you? Anyways, he called me over to your place and I was helping him cook and he may have accidentally, umm, cut his finger pretty bad.”

“What?! Tanaka where are you right now?” You were already gathering your things and writing a note to your boss explaining your leave.

“The hospital,” he replied.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” you rushed to your car.

You may have been driving way a little past the speed limit, but you were at the hospital in record time.

Thanks to the lady at the front desk, you found Yū quickly. You thanked Tanaka as he left the room, not wanting to stand around awkwardly.

“Yū! Are you okay? What were you even doing with a knife! Here let me see,” you grabbed his hand and looked it over.

His pointer and middle finger had been wrapped up in bandages, but the rest of his hand looked fine.

“They didn’t need stitches,” he said bashfully.

“Hmph you’re lucky,” you mumbled, “but why would you need to use a knife?” You searched his face. He looked away, hand rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“I was trying to make you a nice dinner. I wanted to make it up to you for lunch,” he was uncharacteristically quiet.

You gently turned his face towards you, giving him a quick kiss. His face turned bright red and he sputtered incoherently for a minute.

“I’m sorry for what I said. I was having a pretty bad morning and getting my tongue burnt off didn’t help. You’re still an amazing boyfriend though and I still love you,” you intertwined your hands with his and gave it a gentle squeeze. He smiled and leaned to touch his forehead to yours

“Does that mean we can have spicy ramen for dinner then?” He asked.

“Don’t push it.”

I hope you enjoyed! Any feedback is highly appreciated!

*I do not own Haikyuu!! or the characters only the story*

*Do not repost anywhere, all credits to me*

[iturbide]

the fact that edelgard is the villain in 3/4 routes and yet intsys STILL glorifies her to no end enrages and annoys me. no other villain has been given that perspective of “well actually maybe they arent so bad” except for the hypocritical tyrant. even when she has *literally become an inhuman monster* intsys is still like “oh no dont worry she was right actually!” and it upsets me deeply

It upsets me, too, friend.  IntSys seems to really like glorifying people who don’t deserve it, especially in recent games (Walhart in Awakening, Rudolf in Echoes -- I can’t say if his whole ‘orchestrating a plan to have his son murder him’ thing is carry-over from Gaiden or not, but it definitely exists in the recent remake so I’m including it), but Edelgard actually ends up as a bit of a weird case. 

(I have a lot of thoughts about this, so I’m just going to cut preemptively.)

Now, I’m actually not opposed to Edelgard being the protagonist of the fourth route in Three Houses.  Anyone who’s been here a while knows that I generally see Grima, a figure that IntSys generally tries to paint as a rote villain, as at least a sympathetic villain (and possibly even a secret hero in the events of Awakening itself); it’s entirely possible for someone that’s a villain in most of their appearances to have legitimate reasons for what they’re doing and why, and revealing that in their personal route could be incredibly powerful if done well. 

And here’s the thing: Edelgard really is a compelling character, in large part because of her moral ambiguity.  I actually agree with her when she says that the Church of Seiros is corrupt at its core and the system needs to change.  She’s right about that!  While Seiros might have had decent reasons for establishing things this way, over the past thousand years human societies have changed while the church itself remained stagnant -- something potentially exacerbated by her selfish ambition to restore her mother -- and this has led to a structure that once served an important purpose becoming a toxic and destructive mess for humanity at large.  Edelgard has a completely valid point there, and it’s something that I could absolutely get on board with if she had gone about achieving change in some other way, because she does have other methods available to her that she writes off without real reason -- and even that can relate back in part to her deep trauma and difficulty trusting people after the betrayals she faced at the hands of her “uncle” and her own father’s powerlessness to stop the nightmare she and her siblings suffered through. 

IntSys probably could have crafted a narrative that showed from her perspective why she believed war against the Church was the only valid option available to her.  The issue is that she undercuts her own argument by targeting all of Fodlan, rather than specifically going after the Church: she doesn’t give the Kingdom and Alliance a “stay out of my way or else” warning, she literally turns her sights on the Kingdom as soon as the monastery falls and attempts to fully annex it once Cornelia sets up Dimitri’s fall, leaving the Alliance only because she has her hands full with Faerghus.  She didn’t have to take Cornelia up on her offer of making the Kingdom into the Dukedom of Faerghus and sending troops to finish the job: she could have just left the woman to her own devices, forcing the Twisted to utilize their own people to maintain and secure full control of the region while she worked on addressing the systemic issues, which would have had multiple benefits:

The Imperial Army doesn’t get overwhelmed and exhausted fighting in conditions they’re not equipped to deal with, leaving them stronger overall while the Twisted forces are potentially weakened by the same

Hubert is able to better assess the threat they’re dealing with, including learning their capabilities and possibly even where they’re coming from before Merceus

Edelgard actually puts her money where her mouth is and ends up helping the people she claims to be doing this for, rather than just using them as fodder for the war to grind up

Unfortunately, the way she’s written ends up just making her an imperialist.  She’s not just going after the corrupt core of the Church, she’s trying to forcibly unite the continent and return Fodlan to some long gone ideal where it was all united under the Imperial banner because she refuses to believe that Adrestia could have split by natural causes.

Crimson Flower ultimately ends up being a particularly egregious example of this glorification phenomenon in action because they give her a personal route that makes no effort to critically examine her actions and make her face consequences for them.  This, I think, does her a massive disservice as a character, because that aforementioned moral ambiguity that makes her so interesting could have been utilized to great effect -- and the proof is actually there already, because they do it in Dimitri’s route.

Dimitri is himself another interesting character, and outwardly presents as Edelgard’s polar opposite: he recognizes that he doesn’t have all the answers, struggles to figure out the correct course of action when presented with difficult subjects that have  no clear-cut answer -- like the fact that reliance on the Crest system is toxic for noble families, but it’s those very Crest-bearers and their Relics that help keep Faerghus safe from invasion by Sreng -- possesses incredible strength but specifically refrains using it in most cases to avoid harming others, and generally takes everyone’s problems onto himself to his own detriment.  He’s also deeply traumatized and was never given a chance to deal with it in a healthy manner, which contributes to how he snaps -- and Azure Moon starts with Dimitri being so far out of reach that you can’t unlock any of his supports and can’t even engage with him in the weekly discussions.  He’s lost himself to his survivor’s guilt and need for vengeance, considers himself to be nothing more than a monster, and has no qualms about killing if it helps advance his quest; as the story progresses, he faces a direct consequence for this murderous inclination in the form of Fleche who attempts to exact vengeance for her brother’s sake in the same way that he’s attempting to claim it for his family and friends -- only to lose Rodrigue, and have his dying words be a plea for Dimitri to live for himself rather than those who died before him, at which point Dimitri sets his sights on opposing Edelgard rather than killing her and seeing to atone for the crimes he committed.  While I think the game made the change a little too abrupt, it’s handled well overall, and shows a real development arc complete with both actions and their associated consequences that directly relate to Dimitri’s growth as a person.

Contrast this to Edelgard in general and Crimson Flower as a route.  Edelgard believes that she has all the answers despite not trying to engage with anyone outside her own House, decisively chooses what she believes to be the right and proper course of action regardless of how difficult the subject matter, possesses great strength (both physically and of sheer will) that she uses to dominate others, and forces others to join her in addressing what she sees as problems -- such as her line about making her own people into “worthy sacrifices” for her “higher cause.”  Crimson Flower is the only route where her attack on the monastery fails to capture Rhea, but once Byleth returns she sets her sights on attacking and subjugating a territory that has remained entirely neutral through the past five years, turns on the Twisted while she’s still in a vulnerable position which ultimately causes the deaths of at least a third of the forces she left at Arianrhod once they fire their warning shot, lies to her friends and allies about what happened there, murders her step-brother, and allows a city full of trapped civilians to burn unchecked while she deals with what she considers to be the “real” threat on the opposite side of the Faerghus capital -- and all of this is capped off with her never dealing with the Twisted, and cute little endcards that talk about how everything worked out fine and there were no problems ever, The End.  Edelgard doesn’t get a development arc in her route: she’s never challenged, she never faces real consequences (and the one she does face she literally lies about to her friends and then leaves as a problem to deal with later), and she pretty much ends the game exactly where she started it: completely assured that she made the right choices.  The moral ambiguity inherent in her character is instead cast as “of course she’s in the right, she’s so great and there’s nothing at all wrong with what she’s doing or how she’s going about it, isn’t she wonderful?”

At least in the main game, Hegemon Husk Edelgard is treated with real gravity, shown as the pinnacle of her drive to see her ambition come to fruition and the tragic consequence of her inability to change course and find another path.  The Forging Bonds event just takes the CF brush and paints her actions as the right ones, even though what made her so compelling is that her reasons were right while her methods were horrific.  Edelgard really could have been wonderful.  The potential is right there in her character.  But IntSys completely botched the execution of it, so that her route feels rushed, incomplete, and at best unsatisfying (or, if you’re me, utterly disgusting for how it glorifies imperialistic conquest), and her Heroes appearances only make it worse.

[sweetescapeartist]

DBS COLORING BOOK CHAPTER 73 REVIEW

Alright... let's do this.

The first 4 pages are good. Good flow, not too many pages, no dialogue (thank God). Page 5 is where the paneling gets unnecessary. The last 2 panels aren't needed.

Page 6 is absolutely stupid. Goku & Granolah are flying at extremely high speeds, Goku is firing ki blasts that are moving at a higher velocity than he is currently moving, Granolah moves even faster in order to dodge Goku's ki blasts, then Granolah is using his scarf that is wrapped around a tree to swing around the tree & get behind Goku... A SCARF.

The scarf would tear apart instantly if Granolah tried to use it to catapult/swing himself around faster than Goku can perceive.

YOU: "The scarf is probably really strong tho!"

Sure let's assume that. In that case, the tree would be uprooted from the velocity Granolah is moving. Either way, it doesn't make sense. If this was early Dragon Ball and Yamcha did something like this when fighting Goku, then yeah it would be reasonable and look cool. With the power these characters are at now, it just looks ridiculous and inconvenient. It doesn't work here. Granolah could've easily dodged on his own and much faster that wraping his scarf around the tree.

So Granolah swings around and kicks Goku through tons of trees. (Saiyans killed his ppl but Granolah is killing his planet. Ironic)

Hey look! Another stupid page 😒

Page 7. Goku got sent flying back at a speed capable of easily cutting through tons of trees, but he slows himself down by grabbing a branch & swinging around it? Why? Again, at that speed, Goku would yank the limb of the tree clean off or uproot the entire tree. That wouldn't slow down his speed. He would be better off just stopping in the air on his own as if he applied the emergency breaks. Characters have done that plenty of times. Again, stuff like swinging around trees and tree branches is stuff they would had done in OG Dragon Ball.

Why is Goku blocking like that?? He isn't reinforcing his arm, he's holding his wrist whole his forearm gets punched. That would damage his arm and/or wrist.

*Boom boom! Bam bam!* They hit each other some. But are you ready for this? Pages 11-12...!

Why did Goku yell as if he is transforming? He is using Ultra Instinct, right? You don't yell to power that up. Remember the Moro arc? He calmly breathes to go into the state. Remember the chapter before? He calmly closes his eyes to focus. Why is he yelling then tapping into UI? Because Toyotaro can't write consistently. This page was...! just dumb...

Also... What is this SSB with Ultra Instinct then? You remember the SSB aura around UI Omen in the Moro arc? What's the difference between "Blue plus Ultra Instinct" & "Ultra Instinct plus Blue?"

Granolah says he can read Goku's blood flow and cell movements. That should come in handy later when he could potentially find a weakeness in Goku using UI. Hopefully Goku doesn't tell him he can't stay in the form too long. 🤞

SSB with UI is more focused that lower forms in combination with UI. Goku should be nearly untouchable. Pages 13 - 14 show how well Goku can dodge. Looks like ballet in a way, like Goku us dancing around him. I like that. Then he uses a point blank Kamehameha. Looks cool. But it turns out that Granolah simultaneously hit Goku somehow. Not a complaint here.

Pointless panels of Oil being blown back by the force. Pointless panels of Vegeta not paying attention to the fight and looking around. Pointless 2 panels of smoke clearing away. The entire page doesn't add anything at all. Page 17 could be omitted & it would flow better.

Goku is on the ground for the... 3rd time in this battle? I wish it would at least have Granolah say he didn't realize how difficult UI with SSB would be for him, but he barely saw an opening. That would be some sort of respect for Goku and did some clever foreshadowing. But we get Granolah insulting Goku instead. Whatever.

This "vital points" nonsense is so stupid. Everyone in DB has nearly identical vital points. Majin Vegeta knocked Trunks out by chopping at his vital point. These characters know what vital points are and know them well as we have seen when they were in combat since early DB. Granolah should be saying "My right eye will always find an opening." But maybe its a translation error or something. I won't be too harsh about this one.

Wait wait wait. Lemme get this straight...

Whis trained Goku, then Goku is able to use UI in the ToP.

Merus trains Goku to use UI Omen at will.

Goku later masters UI with silver hair.

Whis points out new flaws that didn't exist then trains Goku even further.

Goku has been trained by 2 Angels to the point of being able to go into Mastered UI at will and recieved further training after mastering the Angelic power. How is it that Goku has the gull to say "No, Ultra Instinct should have no weaknesses. If anything's lacking, it's gotta be my training."

And he's telling Granolah that he is vulnerable for some reason...? He's just foreshadowing for the reader that he will lose. The last 4 or 5 panels of page 19 isn't needed.

Whatever. Let's move on. So on page 20, for some reason, Goku has a confused look & a question mark in his speech bubble after Granolah blames Saiyans for killing his ppl. Maybe Goku doesn't understamd why Granolah is repeating himself for the 3rd or 4th time? Or he wasn't listening the earlier times. Can't blame him. Granolah's speeches bored me too.

Granolah copies Moro & makes lava rise from the core of his beloved home planet in order ro hurt Goku. Poor Sugarians. I wonder if there will be a "You're becoming the bad guy now, Granolah." type of story. Dont really care though. Goku escapes by teleporting. He mentions how Granolah has Moro's move. I guess Granolah is supposed to be like Cell and have others techniques... like Moro before him... They are both altered copies of Cell who is much cooler than both of them combined...

Well, here they are making Vegeta look capable (somehow?). Also its interesting that the bloodthirsty Granolah is allowing Goku & Vegeta to chat about their discovery of who his ppl are. The the ex-detective Vegeta quickly figures out that Maki & Oil fooled them. That was rushed. "But Vegeta was suspicious of them before." Yes, but there was no reason or anything we heard that would make Vegeta suspicious. The writing is bad. Also it's convenient that Oil has a drone all of the sudden to eavesdrop. The last 4 panels of page 24 are pointless.

GOKU: "Hey let's talk to him and clear things up."

VEGETA: "Nah. He's probably too stubborn. Just fight to move the story along instead."

Goku says he hasn't used his full power yet & Vegeta is surprised. How does Vegeta not realize Goku hasn't used his full power, Mastred UI? Then Vegeta says "Tch... Gotta resort to that in the end, huh?" Toyotaro is having Vegeta downplay UI in order to hype up Vegeta's fight next chapter. Bad writing. There's better ways to hype Vegeta up. Toyo chose one of the worst ways to do so.

Granolah... Just standing and waiting for Goku to come back. What a patient revenge fueled man.

UI Goku through the fog looked cool. (And his wounds heal? Ok...) But, seeing that made me realize something else. It would be much cooler if it went from page 22 then skip to page 26!

We don't need Goku & Vegeta chatting. The reveal of UI would not have had a pace breaker. It just happens & you see that Goku is serious now. Show don't tell.

GRANOLAH: "I can't perceive... any vital points?!"

That sounds stupid, so I do think it is a translation error.

GRANOLAH: "I can't perceive... any openings?!"

Now that reads much better! (I also edited the dialogue to "openings" in the pic above.)

Great... Goku conveniently exposed a weakness in UI that Whis had conveniently made up in CH 71. Although, in CH 59 Whis said that Mastered UI doesnt have the stamina issue that UI Omen has. Then in CH 64 it shows that the stamina issue is gone with Mastered UI during the 3 chapter battle with Moro. Goku never looked fatigued or weak in this form. Only time the form went away is when "planet" Moro drained Goku of his energy.

But now Goku & Whis say otherwise. How suddenly contradictory. Page 26 of this current chapter (CH 73) would be better if the last 2 panels were omitted.

Mastsred UI Goku easily takes down Moro- I mean Granolah. Also Goku tries to chat now after attacking Granolah. Should've said something before you start kicking ppl in the face. But this is shown to prove Vegeta is right about not being able to reason with Granolah. Even if it makes no sense.

Cool dodging & aikido type movement from Goku.

Goku using "the force" & stopping Granolah's movements was cool. Reminded me of Goku doing something similar to Broly in the DBS movie. Or more similarly, like Zamasu did in the manga.

I guess Toyotaro is suggesting that the quick flurry of punches is a Master UI kind of move. (Although it originated in the anime when UI Omen Goku was punching back against Jiren & when he did so to block attacks from Jiren in EP 129.) I hope this move isn't over used that it ends up losing its flare.

Vegeta pretends to be upset that Goku defeated Granolah while in the previous chapter, Vegeta told Goku to fight first.

Somehow Vegeta is able to sense that there are 2 Granolahs. You can say because he has spirit control, but Goku has been through that kind of training with Roshi, Kami, & King Kai (possibly some with the Yardrats too which helped him control Super Saiyan at the level he could). And with Instant Transmission, Goku must be an expert in detecting ki. He can feel ki in different realms and locate ppl from far across the galaxy Goku should sense this too. All this writing is doing is trying to make Vegeta appear as the more capable fighter & get Vegeta fans hype for his next battle. That's all.

The switcheroo (I think I used that wrong) of a fake Granolah was a kinda clever idea. But Goku not knowing what "split" means is asinine.

Goku literally says "Split...? What's that mean?"

Goku has seen firsthand when Tien split into multiple Tiens, Goku knows the Yardrats can split themselves into many ppl, he saw merged Zamasu split himself, & he saw Moro split himself. Why is he written so stupid? I need answers Toyo.

Page 40....

HOW IN THE HECK did Mastered UI get caught off guard?! Ain't it supposed to automatically grow sturdier as necessary?! Boy oh boy, this writing... A positive is that the punch looks like the 1 inch punch Goku did to Golden Freeza (inspired by the legendary Bruce Lee).

So if actual Granolah is twice as strong and can one shots UI Goku... Vegeta doesn't stand a chance. But the bad writing will make a way for Vegeta to look somewhat capable.

Granolah says UI becomes less sharp over time. Only problem is that Goku fought longer against Moro. This fight of UI Goku should have been longer. If the fight was longer when in the UI "transformation" then I would be more generous about Granolah finding an opening. Speaking of openings, Granolah says "opening" instead of "vital point." Must be a translation error.

Goku is in a near death-like state and Vegeta is like

VEGETA: "Leave that fool alone. Fight me instead."

Vegeta threatening Granolah is either stupid or smart. Smart = Vegeta provoking Granolah to get an advantage mentally. Dumb = Vegeta reverting to his Cell saga overconfidence that Toyo always does.

IN CONCLUSION:

STILL NO IMAGE OF FREEZA... I guess he isnt that important to the story after all. And this storytelling is so bad because Toyo can't stay consistent at all, he doesn't understand the characters, & he can't come up with anything besides "this form also drains stamina." You can say he & Toriyama write this together but I doubt it. Toriyama corrects his art & just gives the story a pass.

Recently it seems that Toriyama is more interested in the DBS movies being produced. Toriyama just writes an outline, Toyotaro & Toei write their versions of the story around that, Toriyama corrects Toyotaro's art & Toriyama also corrects or adds to what Toei thinks up. Example being when Toei created Kale & Toriyama created Caulifla in response.

I'm not excited for the next chapter. I don't care what Vegeta does. How is Vegeta going to win against someone who one shotted Goku in UI. Either the writing will be kinda smart or just plain stupid. I'm expecting stupid.

Idk if I'll review the next chapters. The bad writing was too much for me. I wrote this review last month right 1 day after the chapter came out, but I didnt want to read the manga again to get the images I need for this review. So I put it off for almost 1 month.

I wanna take a break from this bad manga...

[babysizedfics]

Roman involuntarily going into littlespace because he's repressing it, cgs comfort him that its ok to be little

so on saturday roman became upset by something, and usually he can cope. but the thing is, in the last few weeks he has been repressing his littlespace A LOT because he felt like he just got his adult life back, and he throws himself 100% into things

he threw himself into littlespace at first and now he threw himself into adult life and ignored his age dreaming. even when he wanted to he forced himself to keep being grownup - or in his teen headspace if he needed to get out frustration

but this time he couldnt actually help it, he accidentally started feeling really little to cope with his negative emotions. it wasnt even that bad what happened, but its the stick that broke the camels back yknow - basically he had to feed vee at snacktime and she got messy and roman complained she was gross then ppl on the blog called him mean for saying it

so roman was suddenly little, and went to sit with his family bc he didnt want to be alone but he still hid being little. he just stayed silent, even while internally he just kept thinking i want daddy i want my daddy i wanna be held i want mommy to say its all okay

then vee fell asleep in mamas lap and logan took her up to bed, and when he returned to the living room with patton and roman he jokingly asked "so i take it snacktime went well going by the applesauce all over her clothes?"

and romans face immediately crumpled and he started crying

it was so sudden and unexpected and out of character, the caregivers were frozen for a moment as roman desperately hid his face in his hands and folded into himself on the couch

when roman cries its very quiet too, so even though he was close to sobbing he bit his lip hard so he didnt make a sound and was just sniffling and tiny whimpers kept escaping

the caregivers hearts broke a little

logan immediately crouched in front of ro asking "roman what happened? why are you upset sweetheart?"

meanwhile patton jumped up from his chair and quickly scooched over on the couch to be right next to ro and put an arm around him "honey, can you tell us what you need?"

and at that roman just whimpered "daddy" in his super little voice, strained from holding back his cries

"oh little prince" patton cooed sounding heartbroken, he wiggled his free arm under romans legs and shuffled him into his lap in seconds. "shh, it's okay, daddys got you baby"

roman tensed and logan gave patton a stern look at the nickname slip, and patton hurriedly apologized - its just natural for him to use that word

usually roman is a tad insecure about the fact that hes taller than patton when hes in psttons lap bc hes worried it looks weird, but he didnt have the energy to worry this time and just lets his daddy cradle his head to his shoulder and rock him as romans cries got harder to hold back. it felt such a relief to finally be little and let his daddy take care of him, but it was v overwhelming since it was basically involuntary

logan swiftly joined them on the couch, pressing himself right up against patton and rubbing his hand firmly over romans back and shushing him gently and reassuring "good boy. it's okay, let it out. its okay to cry little one" because he knows how embarrassed roman gets about crying, especially when little

but then roman choked through his tears "n-not sposed to be - be l-little!" then sniffled and whimperd again and buried a sob in pattons shoukder

and logan calmly managed to coax him to talk about why, in the same way he coaxed vee into evaluating why she thought diapers werent for her in labd. lots of gentle prodding into why roman answers the way he does, why is he supposed to be big, why is being little bad

patton knew to stay quiet during this process, just squeezing roman to encourage him to answer, and kissing his wet cheek when he says something that makes pattons heart ache

then eventually logan got roman to admit that hes been forcing himself to be bigger because he thought he should be big to not bother the caregivers and to help look after vee and so he is "more of a real grownup" when hes with his friends

the thing is once you manage to break into that well of emotion that romans been repressing, he cant stop it from flowing. so once they reached that conclusion roman just kepts rambling (all while little and stumbling over his words)

"i i been tryna be a big big boy and big brother for vee vee cos shes a baby and needs a big brother... b-but i dont wanna be that big all the time, its too big, i wanna be a little big brother again. too much big"

then patton sighed "oh sweetheart, we know youve been much more grownup recently but we thought it's because you wanted to be big"

" i do!" roman argued loudly, more tears building "b-but little too a-and... and i dunno" he finished in a sob, and patton quickly pulled him closer to his chest and rocked him

logan realised roman is too little to have such a complex discussion about tricky emotions, so he promised that the following day they would all have a big grownup talk about how to help roman find a better balance.

"but for tonight" logan whispered, leaning down and kissing romans head and cupping his jaw gently and looking at him gently "mommy and daddy are going to take care of our sweet little prince. how does that sound, little one?"

romans lip wobbled and he nodded and launched himself into mommy lap to give him a tight hug

so that night logan and patton gave their full attention to taking care of roman and helping him be extra little - they watched disney movies and held their little prince and encouraged his headspace, singing along to the songs and poking roman playfully to get him to giggle and sing along too but much quieter than usual.

patton even reminded roman when to go use the potty, not because roman would ever have an accident but because its another way of showing roman that daddy is taking care of him and to reinforce that younger headspace that ro so clearly needed that night

they were all squished onto the one couch - its big enough for them to spread out but logan and patton sat shoulder to shoulder, with roman laid across pattons lap and his head on logans shoulder. with daddy letting roman play with his fingers as a fidget and logan scritching his nails gently at the base of romans neck which makes him sleepy

and every once in a while, logan would lean down and kiss romans temple so gentle, seemingly randomly but actually its that logan kept thinking about how little he knows about romans mental state recently. and whenever he thought "god i wish i knew what was going on in his head", he would lean down and kiss it in the hopes it plants the thought in romans mind that his parents love him

roman was actually very low energy - usually his littlespace is defined by playfulness and loudness and running and jumping and dancing, but on that specific night he was very quiet, very sleepy, and very very cuddly. he really just needed to feel protected because it was such a vulnerable state for him, being involuntarily little, so just letting his caregivers take full control and take care of him and look after him was exactly what he needed

he would never ever say this to anyone and the caregivers agreed to not tell vee or anyone else, but i think they actually had snacks at one point and roman was just so muted and sleepy and clingy that he didnt wanna let go of daddys hand to get some popcorn even though when patton asked roman admitted he was hungry... so logan offered to feed him, and roman very shyly accepted and let logan put lil pieces of popcorn in his mouth

he thought it was embarrassing, but it actually gave him more energy both because popcorn is yummy and because he found it fun and got kindve giggly - to which patton of course told him he was adorable

after the first movie though vee actually woke up from her nap regressed and the caregivers took it in turns looking after her while the other stayed and cuddled roman extra tight

but soon vee was put in bed for good for the night - roman actually got a little upset again because he assumed since mommy was putting the baby to bed, that meant it was romans bedtime too and he would have to be all alone in his room.

but then logan returned to the living room with the baby monitor in hand and immediately asked "so what movie next, sweetheart?"

bedtime be damned, the caregivers stayed up watching disney films with their little one until he fell asleep snuggled in his mommys lap

just imagine those really gentle vibes when you fall asleep on the couch as a kid and your parent gently wakes you up and leads you up to bed. Exactly like that, patton very gently woke roman up once the credits were rolling like an hour after roman dropped off to sleep

"mmh... daddy.. wha?" roman mumbled sleepily

and patton smiled, happy that roman was still letting himself be little. and of course in that moment he decided there was no way roman was going to sleep alone that night.

"c'mon honey, up up"

roman whined as logan helped push him off his lap and stand up

"i know sweetie. but you can sleep in my bed tonight, isn't that exciting?"

as soon as roman heard that it gave him more motivation to let his daddy hold his hand and carefully lead him upstairs to pattons room while roman is just blinking sleepily and letting his cg take full control and take care of him

logan helps to set up romans njghtlight in pattons room while patton helps roman brush his teeth, and then gives roman one last hug and big soft kiss on his head. "we can talk about it when youre big, but i promise you can be little for as long as you want, ok?"

roman sighed sleepily "ok mommy"

"good night little one, i love you" another forehead kiss

"love you mommy"

and then logan went off to his own bed while patton got him and roman settled in his bed for the night. logan honestly knew he wasnt the best person to take care of roman overnight because he really isnt a cuddly sleeper but roman really is, so he trusted pstton to be the primary caregiver and cuddle roman in bed

meanwhile logan kept vees baby monitor in his room which isnt how it usually goes. usually its in patton room bc patton is a light sleeper and likes to be the one to take care of his baby if she wakes up in the night, but logan took on that job for that night so that patton could focus fully on roman

...

the next day roman was still little but in the playful bouncy way again almost instantly! then when he grew up later in the day the three of them had a serious talk about how to help roman feel better about his littlespace/grownup life balance

logan broke it down into exact hours for roman - they realised that there was 20-25 hours every week where roman had to be grownup for various commitments and responsibilitiea. and the other 148 hours? (ish bc i cant remember the maths lol) logan and patton assured roman he could be little for all of those other hours if he really wanted to be and they would be completely okay with it

and seeing it broken down into numbers and basic stuff really helped roman , he is still going to struggle a little with letting himself be extra little when he needs it, and itll be tricky for him to find a good balance of little vs big because he gets so invested in one headspace so easily, but its backed up by those numbers and by the knowledge that his caregivers really do love to take care of him

[a-forgotten-spirit]

Love Isn’t An Illusion (7)

Pairing: Todoroki x Bakugou, Todoroki x Reader x Bakugou, VERY SLOW BUILD

Summary:  Getting supplies for the camping trip with some fun rivalry swimming.

Words: +-7600 (I have problems)

Warnings:  bad parenting, overbearing parents, overthinking, talking about bathing suits, fear of public places, over planning, wearing a skirt, anxiety, protective Shoji, being noticed by fans, social metres, explaining swimwear, saying you have a chest (sorry if you dont, itty bitty titties are good too!), explanations of clothing, the league, undressing and people looking at you (not sexual), being self conscious, overly competitive, 

Tagged:  @kittycatspervertedheart​ @lemorrite​ @gwendlynn​ @marleps​ @thicctati2​ @saitamastamaticsoup​ @succulent-momma​ @aurorahoneybuns​ @imjusttireddudes​ @misconceptualised​ @ochabby​ @katsukisuwus​ @gayverlinq​ @star-witchs-blog​ @fallbb123 @icyhotpie​ @kyrah-williams​

A/N:  I wrote this for the fans. I do not own My Hero academia or the characters, I don’t own most of the plot for this story, I had watched the show and re-written the dialogue and plot as if the reader was the main character. Everything is centred around the reader. Please comment, makes me happy. Ask if you wish to be tagged. Patreon is still in the works as I’m not confident to do it however, for now I am doing commission stories if anyone is interested

Masterlist

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

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Chapter 7

Walking into the house my mother walked up to me hands on her hips and she looked ready for a fight. I was tired and just wanted to go lay down. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with her right now or at any given point if I was honest but after the exam I had, I quite enjoyed turning my brain off for a few days. 

“Who dropped you off” she inquired immediately. I sighed and hoisted my bag onto my back more comfortably as I looked up to see her. My head was pounding and Bakugou's jumper was so warm and fluffy I just wanted to go to sleep. 

“Friends from school” I answered, my heart did the weird thing where it decided to not work and beat quicker then it should. I was there with my friends. Todoroki was always ready to help me move around and helped me through the panic attack while Bakugou had brought me food and gave me his jumper. I was thankful for both. Her hand moved in a continuous motion as if to continue “Bakugou and Todoroki” I answered. 

“Todoroki, like Endeavor Todoroki,” she asked and I nodded slowly “His son, with the fire and ice. You’re friends with his son” I nodded again. She’s never been interested in heroes, at least whenever I talked about them “Oh darling look at you. He is a fine choice to swoon. Money and looks, he will make a great friend. I have to meet his father” 

I was blank. She had to be joking right. I did not just fight ten Pro heroes for my mother to go on about how I'm friends with someone as if I had something to gain “I’m friends with Todoroki for Todoroki, not Endeavor. I do not like Endeavor and I never will. I like Todoroki for who he is not who he is related to” I said slowly as if I had to sound it out. 

“Oh sure” she huffed and I knew this wouldn’t leave so I left it, she could think all she wanted, it meant nothing to me. “Bakugou, Bakugou” she whispered and hand on her chin. What was she doing? “Bakugou like the fashion designers” my head fell as I sighed out and shook my head “You are going for the top aren’t you. Just like your mum” 

“Ok, whatever. Think what you want but I like them for them” she continued to go on as I shook my head again and then walked away up the stairs and into my room. Placing my phone on to charge I wiggled my arms into the jumper and unzipped my hero costume before falling into bed and falling asleep. 

-

This morning was long, filled with questions about the boys and what they did, who I liked more. I didn’t answer a single one. I was not in the mood. I pulled on my uniform folding Bakugous’ jumper and left it on my bed. If he didn’t want me to keep it I could say I just forgot it, easy. I chose to pull on the UA jumper I had specifically asked for and then I was ready for school. My mother offered to drive, I accepted and put in my music to ignore her. Headphones covering my head and ears. Arriving I thanked her and I was off to class, as I was walking down the hall I could hear Kaminari yelling, he didn’t pass. 

Aizawa walked in and I quickly followed “Sorry” I could see the looks but one glare from Aizawa and everyone was quiet. I made my way to my seat quickly, sitting down and placing my headphones in my bag out of the way, looking up and paying full attention. 

“Morning, unfortunately, there are a few of you who did not pass your final exams. So when it comes to the training camp in the woods” he paused then his head raised a wide smile as his eyes did the same “Everyone is going” that was good. Kaminairi and Mina looked quite upset. They all asked if he was being honest and that they got to come with the rest of us “Yeah. The good news is no one bombed the written exam. Five failed the practical badly. Two teams of course and Sero failed as well” I could hear a quiet yell. I forgot he got caught with Midnight and fell asleep the whole time. “Allow me to explain, the practical the teachers made sure to leave a way for the students to win” my eyes fell and I shook my head “Except Y/N” he nodded and I looked away. They did no such thing. “Otherwise you never would have stood a chance” I rolled my eyes. 

“I think I did just fine thank you” I whispered and played with the ends of my sleeve. I spent three days in the hospital to win that goddamned test. I knew some people heard that at the little chuckles around me. 

“We were interested in observing how each of you approached the task at hand. The training camp will focus on strength” this was going to be a long camp, my head rested on my palm as I looked to Aizawa. I need to work on harnessing my quirk and not passing out every time I go overboard. “Those who failed will need those lessons the most, we were never going to separate you” leave it to the teachers to absolutely scare everyone in the class for no reason “That was just a logical deception we used” his smile was bright, he was quite proud of himself. 

“He tricked us all, I should have expected this” Iida voiced I turned seeing him quickly lunge up from his seat “Mr Aizawa this is the second time you’ve lied to us aren’t you afraid we will lose faith in you” he was standing straight his hand up in the air as he yelled. He had a point but I don’t think the teacher cared. 

“That’s a good point, I'll consider it” No he won’t, he enjoyed making us stress and try our best “But I wasn’t lying to you about everything” this man was full of surprises and it was making my head fuzzy. “Failure is failure” I smiled so not a topic for me. “We’ve prepared extra lessons for the five of you” the mood dropped drastically amongst the five. “Frankly they’ll be far tougher than what you’ll face at summer school” at least he was honest. 

The rest of the day went by as usual and I talked to Bakugou and Todoroki mostly a few people coming up to me to give their congratulations and a few telling me they thought I had died when I just fell. I laughed at that comment. 

“I had about a hundred thoughts playing at once so I overworked my brain” I smiled and scratched the back of my head, a nervous habit I picked up when I was younger. I saw confused faces. “Each illusion is a single thought if they act differently so by the end of the match I had about a hundred independent thoughts going through my head at once” 

I was bombarded with questions as I answered them without giving too much information away. I had Mina hugging me tightly at one point in tears about how worried she was, I swear my hair was wet by the end of it. I smiled, genuinely. I did have the best class anyone could ask for. This was one of the first days I wasn’t rushing to study or do anything, it felt nice and I had friends.

“We’re at the training camp for a full week” Iida readout, he seemed shocked and I nodded to myself. Another week without my parents, what more could I wish for. My parents had signed off on it earlier in the year not caring for what I did. 

“No way, I’ll need a bigger suitcase” Midoriya pondered and I thought to my belongings. I had a big enough suitcase. When I got along with my parents we had gone on a few holidays so I just had to find it. 

“No kidding, I don’t even have a bathing suit” the thought sent shivers down my spine. I would be fearful to get into the water knowing if Kaminari sneezed I could be electrocuted and die. He had control but still, it was worrying. I didn’t often go swimming so I too would need to buy one. “Guess I need to buy some stuff” 

“Guys since we are off tomorrow and we’re finished exams I have the best idea” Torus’ happy voice sang out her uniform moving indicating she raised her arms in excitement. Everyone seemed interested now. “Why doesn’t class 1-A go shopping together” it wasn’t a bad idea. I preferred to go shopping with people I knew then alone I had to admit I feared to be alone in public places just as much as the next person. 

“Hey yeah, we’ve never hung out as a class before” Kaminari smiled as Uraraka nodded enthusiastically. I could hear everyone agreeing and getting more excited about the weekend's events. I too was quite excited though, did they mean everyone in the class? 

 “Bakugou, see you there, right” Leave it to Kirishima to always ask if the explosive blonde would attend a get-together. I like that Bakugou had friends and seemed to get along with people, even if it was only a select few.  

“I can’t think of anything more annoying” his eyes were closed and face distasteful as he grimaced at the mere thought of seeing anyone in school out in public. I smiled and rolled my eyes silently as he walked off from the group hands in his pockets and back slouched. 

Everyone was talking and I smiled happily though I could hear Midoriya ask Todoroki if he was going to join the class on our little adventure “I visit my mum on days off” he smiled, small but it was there. Did he live with his dad but not his mum? Maybe they were divorced or something. I was sad he wouldn’t be there but I could understand why. I didn’t blame him. 

“Party poopers, don’t you ever get tired of being so serious” Mineta shouted, I would’ve liked both Bakugou and Todoroki to come but they had their things on. I had made friends with the class so hopefully, I wouldn’t be left to my own devices but if so I was more than capable of shopping on my own. 

“What about you Y/N” I turned to look at Jirou who had asked the question “Are you going to come” she smiled and I saw a few of the other girls smile in response. I was being offered, I had friends. I would never regret coming to this school. 

“Yeah” I nodded and stood from my desk patting my skirt down to my legs “I need some swimwear and hiking clothes” I scratched the back of my head nervously “I live in jumpers and long pants so I’ll need some outdoors clothes” I didn’t leave the house much before this year. I stayed in my room and played games now I was studying non-stop. 

“We can help with that” Uraraka put her fist in the air and I nodded unbeknownst that a few boys were more than interested in the conversation I was having. “You’ll be an outdoors person in no time” I laughed rather loudly and nodded. 

“I look forward to it” and I wasn’t lying I was beyond excited for this camp, the whole thing a new experience and I hadn’t gone on ‘holiday’ in quite some time if I was honest. 

We all walked out of the room and set up a group chat for the weekend, I waved everyone goodbye and began my trek home. Headphones on and music blaring to calm myself through the walk, it was long but when I arrived home I could see my parents were home. I walked up to the two of them turning down my music and pushing the headset from my head to my neck. 

“I’m going out with the class over the week to go shopping for the camp” I stated, they didn’t care what I did. I could see my mother think for a moment and then nodded, remembering something. 

“Yes you did make it into that camp, my bank is still connected to your card, get everything you need. A week was it” she asked not looking up, they had no concept of money because they had so much. I didn’t spend a lot of money but I did need things for the week trip. I nodded. “Ok” then I was off to my room. 

I searched my room for my suitcase, it was just a plain black hard suitcase that was big enough for a week's trip. Suitcase, done. I got out my phone and began to make a list of the things I would need. It was long but I wanted everything to be perfect and if I had no purchase limit why not spoil myself for once. 

Once the list was done I looked at the group chat and saw all the details Iida had set up sending a quick “Thank you” and mentioning Iida I was off and ready for bed. I had had dinner between rummaging through my room and making my list. 

-

Waking up the next morning I did my usual routine and stretched, I felt so relaxed no studying for me though I liked that I was still busy in away. I liked to keep myself busy. When you do things for so long and then stop you have to find something to replace it. I walked out into my room in my underwear and sighed, what was I going to wear? What was everyone going to wear? We were going to the shopping centre so casual but something I could easily take off if I needed to try things on. I laughed, I could use my illusions to see how they would look. Cute it was. 

I opened my wardrobe searching through my long-sleeved shirts until I found a black long-sleeved shirt with holes in the sleeves held together by an F/C lace-like strip that crossed over each other to the bottom of the sleeve. Short black skirt with my shirt tucked into baggily. I moved to my accessories drawers and opened it to see my belts. My F/C belt would go perfect matching the strips of lace, I placed it through the hoops in the skirt and smiled. Some simple boots and the look was complete. I brushed my hair and placed my little backpack on my back. Pull of a portable charger, my wallet and just my everyday things. Walking out I walked past my parents and I was off on my adventure sending a message I would be a few minutes late due to buses not matching up for me. 

 I hopped off the bus saying a quick thank you before I left to go into the centre, turning on my phone one last time to check I had the right information. I looked up and saw the group then looked down, was I too casual? I began to panic and shook my head. These were my friends, these were my people. 

“Hey guys, sorry for being a little late” I called out and watched as they turned to me smiling lighting up and waves being thrown though I didn’t miss the double takes I was receiving from a few of them. I walked up to them and stood in the little group we had formed. 

Everyone seemed quite excited but Midoriya was looking around in awe and muttering to himself about how all the shops captured almost every single quirk known. I laughed and felt my arm get hooped to Mina who was jumping around and full of energy like usual. I smiled. 

“You’re going to scare the children” Tokoyami blandly stated and shook his head crossing his arms in fake seriousness, at least, I thought it was fake. “Stop” I heard a few laughs as Midoriya blushed in embarrassment. 

“Wow, aren’t they UA students” a bystander called out and I turned to see a little group of people forming, this was a downfall of being in the top school but there was nothing we could do. I was going to become a hero and having fans was part of that. 

“1-A” another called out as I looked to the three men looking overly excited to see the group in public. After the sports festival, I couldn’t blame them but still yelling across the mall hallway was a lot for my anxiety. I hadn’t even thought about if anyone recognised us.

“I saw them on TV” so my accusations were right, they had seen us at the festival most likely and then the thought of my video saving people and Hero Killer Stain came into my mind. I gripped the straps of my backpack, Mina having left my side a few minutes ago. I moved to stand behind Shoji who immediately moved to shield me from the view.

Even with all the people talking and fanning Jiro and Momo were just talking about what they needed to get and see, they chose to go together. They were such good friends. I smiled at the interaction. 

“You ok,” Shoji asked his mask moving slightly with the question. I nodded and saw a few people turned to look at my still slightly shielded figure. I flushed and turned away from the looks. 

“I’m just anxious about people looking at me” he nodded and rubbed my back to calm me down “Sorry about that” I could see people shake their hands and smile, it made me feel a lot better. 

“We all have our weaknesses, though you seem so confident when fighting” Kirishima pointed out and again they nodded in agreement. My hand came to my chin to think, they were right. 

“I’m far too competitive to lose it just comes off as confidence” I laughed and scratched the back of my head my cheeks reddening at the confession “I’m one of the most competitive people you’ll ever meet. One of the downfalls of my personality” I nodded and heard a few laughs in response. 

When everyone was done saying what they needed or wanted for the trip Kirishima spoke up “Why don’t we split up and look around, we can meet up here when we are done. It’s noon so let’s say we all meet up here at three” I heard a chorus of sure's and yes’ as we all broke off.

I walked off with Shoji and Tokoyami having asked if I could tag along to the supplies store. I said I’d meet up with the girls later so I could buy some swimwear with them. We were talking and walking around until we made it to the store. Shoji grabbing a basket for us. I had moved my headphones to my bag but when I walked I could hear the keychains bounce. 

“What do you need Y/N,” Tokoyami asked and Shoji came back into the conversation from looking around. I hummed for a second taking out my phone and unlocking the device showing them both a photo. 

“I wanted to buy this, It’s a PowerPoint that has four docks for plugs and then three USB hubs. Just in case there aren't enough powerpoints I thought this would be good to bring” I explained and then pulled the phone back scrolling down “It says this store has them but I’ve never been here so I might have to ask someone” I whispered looking back up to the boys. 

“I didn’t even know they had those kinds of things but that is a very good idea” Shoji nodded impressed with the find and I handed him my phone saying to scroll as they also had others he might be interested in. 

“Yeah Y/N has a good point, we have no idea where we are going and it would be good to be prepared for anything” Tokoyami nodded and moved to look at the phone as well “They are very practical” he added and I nodded. “Anything else,” he asked my phone being handed back to me. 

“A flashlight maybe, I don’t know where we are and if I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of nowhere I would like to know where I am going” a hum from Tokoyami and a firm agreeing nod from Shoji we began our quest for the items. 

It was an enjoyable trip as we rushed through each aisle and tried to find the products. The workers had told us isle five near the back to the left though all three of us stared at the shelf. “Are you guys seeing something I’m not?” I asked, turning to them. 

“No” Shoji shook his head and then tilted to shake his head, “They said isle five” we all looked up, we were in that aisle. “To the back” we were to the back of the isle “On the left” his voice went to nothing as I moved to crouch down. 

I moved a few boxes looking at the signs and then I saw them “Found them” I called out and heard a sigh of relief as I leaned forward to grab them from the back of the shelf, there were three left. I hugged them to my chest. “There’s three left” I sighed and moved to put them in the basket “No one in the class can get them” I smirked and we all laughed at the situation of us being overly prepared. 

Moving onto finding flashlights and a few other things including bug spray and a travel utility kit. “What about portable charges, there may not even be electricity. We could be camping” Tokoyami spoke up and I shrugged nodding. 

“Good point, we have no idea where we are going. I have one but when I was looking for the ports I saw one that can charge your phones up to four times in one charge” they were both interested in this new information as I showed them my phone again. “It’s pretty cheap too, sales” I smiled. We were off again looking for this device. Finding them we added them to the basket and we were leaving the store, finally. We paid for our things. I put my things in my bag and we were off once more. “Kaminari and Mina are picking out swimwear if you wanna come” 

“I need something to fit my arms, hopefully, they’ll have something” Shoji nodded as Tokoyami looked less than comfortable at the idea of trying on swimwear. I smiled and looked up the store. 

“Hey Tokoyami” his eyes turned to my own and I showed him the picture of the pitch-black swimwear set that was long-sleeved and came up his neck and down his legs. “They have a black pair that covers your whole body” I sang with a smile. 

“I guess I do need a swim set” he crossed his arms as we made our way to the store, keeping our chatter casual and easy. I put my phone away as we came into the store and met up with the two, Mineta and Kirishima had joined them. 

“Hey, guys” Kirishima waved smiling widely, happily. I waved back and we all began to browse. Mina and I moved over to the women's section even though the rash shirts in the men's section were looking more than appealing. 

Mina and I began to look through the swimwear as I sighed out, there was far too many to look through. “What do you usually wear in the water” she bounced over happily already holding a few things to try on. I, on the other hand, had nothing. 

“I don’t go swimming” I could swim quite well my parents have cared for me not drowning to get me a lesson at a young age. Though I didn’t go swimming often, we didn’t have a pool and I was very focused on studying to get into UA from a young age. 

“What’s a colour you like,” she asked and began to go through the swimwear I was looking at “This is just all shirts” she whispered more to herself then I as I nodded and she smiled “You’ll have to buy a bikini to go underneath as well” I hadn’t even thought about that. 

“I like F/C and black and yeah I do need to get a bikini” I sighed and put my head back, this was a lot for my social metre to take, my body anxious but Minas’ bubbly personality was helping my anxiety lessen. Taking out my phone I sent out a message to both Bakugou and Todoroki asking if they needed anything while I was out.

“Already got everything” was the message from Bakugou simple and easy then as I was about to click out “Thanks though” I smiled and was about to send a reply when the phone vibrated again “You should plan next time idiot” of course he couldn’t end on something positive. I replied and then moved onto Todoroki. 

“No, it’s ok. I’ll go after visiting my mother. Thank you” even though his typing style was neat and formal. Only saying what he needed too and then ending the conversation whereas Bakugou wrote whatever came to mind in that second and sent it off. I replied to him as well and then put my phone away. 

“Black isn’t a colour but I'll allow it” she stood quickly smiling out and then moving around the store grabbing Kaminari and Kirishima to help her find something for me to wear. I laughed at the awkward faces but they both went to work. 

“Y/N” I was called over to Mina who was holding a bikini set that was F/C, it was modest and covered everything that needed to be covered. I nodded and then looked to the fabric taking it, it had a nice texture as well. 

They looked nice, the bottoms weren’t held together by a string which I instantly liked and the bra part looked rather nice. The bra had little ruffles along the rim which were cute. I looked at the size and laughed. She looked confused as the boys walked overhearing the commotion. “You got a size far to small at least for the top” she tilted her hand and then looked down to my chest. 

I moved to hold my shirt against my body and her eyes widened “That’s some voodoo magic” she called out and I could see a few boys blushing as Mineta fell to the floor. “No what” she called out and looked amazed. 

I let go of my shirt and she shook her head “I just wear baggy clothing and jumpers to school. I appreciate the thought though” I laughed and moved to grab the size that fit me and she looked about ready to faint I laughed again. “It’s not the first time” she nodded and we went looking for the rest of the swimwear we all needed. “Kirishima” I watched his head turn and I held up a red swim shirt that had a picture of Crimson Riot on the back. 

“I need it but I don’t usually wear shirts” he whispered and looked overly happy that I had found it. Leaning down I showed him the matching bottoms a little picture of the hero on the bottom of them. “There we go” he nodded and got both of them “Isn’t this kinda childish though” he frowned. 

“If they had a swimsuit that had my favourite character on it, I’d get it. It’s manly to be you” I nodded and his eyes lit up as he jumped putting his arms together. He was so happy that someone had simply let him be a fan

“You’re right” he nodded and went to go show the others who were more than interested to listen to him babble about how much he loved Crimson Riot. I didn’t doubt he had far more merch then those two pieces of clothing. Though I was surprised to see the merch for such an old hero.  

I looked around as the others did, Tokoyami having grabbed the black pieces of swimwear I had shown him prior when we were walking over. Mina found some pink swimmers that complimented her and I walked further into the store seeing something I knew one of my friends would be interested in. Grabbing the colour I assumed he’d like I walked over to the group. 

“Shoji” I held up the seemingly normal swimsuit and I watched as everyone was confused until I pulled down an almost invisible zipper down the sides of the shirt and his eyes lit up. 

“You seem to find what everyone needs Y/N” I could see the smile through his mask and I nodded handing over the shirt showing him where the zipper was. “I have bottoms so I’m all done” I looked back and watched as the boys went off Kaminari having picked some yellow bottom with Pikachu on them, I smiled as they went to try on their clothes. 

I walked around until finding a nice black rash shirt with F/C strips along the ribs. Picking my size I walked over to Mina “Do you think I should get shorts or with the bikini bottoms be enough” I asked. She turned and looked at the outfit I was holding up. 

“The shirt seems pretty long so I think you should be fine” she nodded and then moved to feel the rash shirt “That’s super soft” her eyes widened and I did the same nodding. “Go try them on” I looked down and tilted my head. Creating an illusion her eyes widened “You never need to try on clothes, I'm so jealous” she cried out and I laughed “But they look super good”

I nodded. A few more minutes and trying on clothes we were ready to move on with the rest of our trip. Paying for the clothing and a reusable bag to put it in we were off everyone having bought something. We walked and talked as we moved on to different stores buying things and talking about what we would need. It was a fun trip and I had messaged my mother if she could pick me up having bought all the things I needed and it is quite a lot. She said yes, she was acting nice the last few days but I didn’t mention it. 

“I think that was a successful trip” Tokoyami pointed out and we all agreed. “It’s almost three so let’s all meet up with the group” we stopped by one more store to buy some new pillowcases and then we made our way back to the centre, being the first to arrive. 

Throughout the trip we had been stopped a few times by people interested in our school and other things, we mostly thanked them and then went on with our day. I smiled at my ‘fans’ and then we were off to the place where we said we would all meet up. Having arrived we weren’t the first, of course, Iida was here before us all, bags in hand. He dressed like a dad and I loved that he wore such formal but casual clothes. Though when we arrived we were told that Midoriya had been attacked per se by Shigaraki. The league of villains so-called leader. I was practically shaking when we were told. Then asked by police if we had seen anyone. I hadn’t even thought about the league or Stains little followers. I wasn’t safe, we weren’t safe. The police conducted a sweep but Shigaraki wasn’t found and I didn’t know if I wanted him too. Midoriya was taken to the police station to file a report. 

I stood with the rest of my peers and waved them off with a “Please be careful getting home” as I walked to the carpark placing all my new things into the boot while my mother was on the phone to someone. Getting into the passenger side I waved to the group getting waves back and raised my phone pointing to it mouthing “Message me” I got nods and then I was off on the drive home. 

My mother complained to someone on the other side of the line, but their conversation ended quickly. Her eyes glazed over to my body for a moment before talking “Did you get everything you need” she seemed very calm which was odd. 

“Yes, I did” I responded and she nodded stopping at a roundabout “I’ll be gone for a week as of the camp, I don’t know if I’ll be able to message as we don’t know where we are going” I explained as she drove through turning to the main road, the road home. 

“That’s fine, you still have your suitcase” I hummed a yes and she nodded “Your father and I are going on a week vacation while you are gone” so that’s why she was being nice. She didn’t want me there anyway. “I’ll drop you off on Monday and pick you up when you get home” I nodded and the conversation was over. 

Arriving home we went our separate ways. I moved into my room and began to get messages from everyone that they got home. I sent a message that I arrived home safely. I was so worried about the league but shook my head and began to pack my bag for the trip. I arranged everything and then began to pack, Aizawa saying they had beds for us so I didn’t need to bring Tatami to the trip. I packed my pillow and then packed around it, the piece is the biggest. Clothing folded perfectly and then placed inside. I packed the PowerPoint and extra chargers just in case. I had to charge my headphones tonight. I lifted myself from the floor and put them on to charge. 

Then came dinner, it was simple and easy to eat. Down with some ice water I was in a good mood, and excited mood. A few moments on my phone then I was back to packing. I finished well into the night having made sure I had everything but leaving a note in the bathroom to pack my toiletries the day I was leaving before I left. I believed I was ready for bed as I stretched and then looked back to the bag. Amongst shopping, I had bought some t-shirts and shorts, ready for the outdoors. My boots were thick but flat so I could wear them without care if we had to do a lot of walking. I moved to pack a few jumpers for sleeping or if it got cold. I packed Bakugous without a thought.

I had gotten a message in a new group titled “The girls” I smiled when I was informed that I was being asked if I wanted to join the rest of the girls using the schools' pool tomorrow before the camp. “Use the school swimsuit,” I said I’d be there.

-

I had arrived at school the next day wearing the school swimsuit under my regular clothes and going to the changing room to undress when I saw the rest of the girls changing. I waved as they began to talk about nothing in particular and I joined in a few times. 

“I am so excited for camp,” Toru yelled, voice high and full of energy even though it was rather early in the morning. I was still just waking up, not quite remembering how I got to school. As I peeled off my shirt I watched as the girls stopped talking.

“It’s so weird, right” I was confused and I followed their gaze to my chest as I flushed and looked away “Oh sorry Y/N” Mina apologised and I waved a hand as it was ok. It was I didn’t mind. “We went shopping  and I was amazed” 

“I can see why your outfits make you look flat” Jiro bluntly stated and I nodded looking down at my breasts. I wasn’t flat I thought I had nice breasts. We continued to get changed and then walked out into the pool area. “We got permission off Aizawa to be here so there was no need to worry” I nodded, I didn’t think about it. Momo had planned this and I trusted her. 

We were just chilling stretching off to the side of the pool when the boys began to show up. The swimsuits weren’t too bad, covering my body, I should have brought something like this for the camp but I didn’t mind too much, I thought my outfit was cute. We stretched and then we began to play volleyball. We were having so much fun playing and joking with the girls. 

“Serve”

“Chance ball” 

“Got it” 

“Mine” 

We were having so much fun with I was smiling though I kept most of my body under the water being a little self-conscious of the tight clothing I was having fun nonetheless. I threw myself back aiming for a ball and hitting it over the net as I splashed into the water on my back gaining us a point. 

When my head rose I heard a loud voice “The next time I beat you, I want you to be at your strongest, you damn nerd” I turned seeing Bakugou in all his glory, shirt off and tight pants on. I watched him storm his way towards Midoriya and my heartbeat quicken. He was so attractive. The girls and I watched on confused as to what was happening. 

“Hey I got your message, sorry I'm late” Kirishima waved his hand around smiling. His arm was out holding Bakugou from the green-headed shaking male “It took a while to convince Bakugou to come out” I wanted to thank Kirishima for trying his hardest this is all I could have wanted. He was so muscular as I sighed out and flushed glad no one was paying attention to me. 

“So Deku, you wanna settle who's the best of us right now” Bakugou was sure in a mood, his arm raised and hand outstretched to allow his palms to pop with small harmless explosions. He was sure fired up “Huh” he yelled. Midoriya stepped back shaking his head. 

“You know what we could make this training a contest” Iida spoke more to himself then the group and my ears picked up on the chatter. “Hey everyone I propose we see which of the boys can swim 50 metres the fastest. A friendly race” he smiled and I couldn’t help the way my hands twitched. There was no such thing as a friendly race, at least in my books. 

I ducked beneath the water and swam over quickly as they all rounded up. I popped out of the water on an illusion raising myself in front of them in all my glory. “I hope I’m welcome” I smiled and saw their fearful faces. Licking my lips I dropped down in front of the water falling from my body as I smiled. “I do enjoy beating you all” I was not met with smiles but determined faces of my peers.

“OK then, the boys and Y/N” Iida nodded and I moved to crack my knuckles rather loudly as I saw a few of the boys look rather excited and some just look nervous. I think I saw Kaminari wince to the sound of cracking bones. 

“Iida why don’t you let us help you out with this” Momo asked the girls now out of the pool and looking excited as the rest of us. I was bouncing around, I was far too competitive for my good. I hated not being apart of competition but this was something else. This was a real competition. Iida agreed to the help, from the girls. 

“And quirks,” Ojiro asked slowly his hand raised with a towel around his neck “Are we allowed to use them” I could win easily if we did. Just set them on a little course that wasn’t in the pool and I could easily win. 

“Well, we are at school” Iida pondered, yes, just say we can. “So there shouldn’t be a problem with that” I smiled to the group and moved my hand letting out a little mist for emphasis I saw wide eyes and worried faces. “However you cannot cause damage to your classmates or the building” I could agree with that.

Bakugou walked forward and just past me to stand in front of Midoriya, they needed a new hobby “I’m going to annihilate you Deku” clenched fists and hard stare he spoke calmly, honestly. “And you too Icy-Hot” I turned to where his eyes were to see Todoroki sitting on the floor, without a shirt. The lords have blessed me today. “You bastard” he was in a bad mood, like always. Then the explosive blonde turned to me “You especially” then he walked off and I smiled. 

“I look forward to it” I called out behind him. We all moved into lines. I was in the second heat so I watched the first five boys race. Then the whistle went off. 

Bakugou was flying through the air landing on his feet at the end of the pool. “How was that you sidekicks” he called out hand raised and I smiled when he got backlash from his friends “It’s called freestyle swimming” he had a point it was a freestyle. 

Then it was my go with Todoroki, Sero, Kirishima and Sato “On your marks, get set, go” the whistle was off and I watched as an illusion came around them jumping in as I jumped off the ledge and walked to the other end of the pool stepping up and letting the illusion fall. Sero taping his way across the surface of the water and Todoroki surfing on ice.

“You’re supposed to be swimming” Kaminari and Mineta yelled as I simply shrugged my shoulders. Watching Sato and Kirishima get to the end of the pool. Todoroki looked at me as well. 

“What can I say. I like to win” I smiled and moved back to the lines “At least I touched the water” I put my hands on my hips and lined back up “Beside quirks are allowed and I didn’t hurt anybody or property” I wasn’t wrong. 

“It’s time for the final race. Bakugou, Y/N, Todoroki, Midoriya you had the fastest four times. You will fight for first place” his hands were on his hips as I nodded Midoriya and Todoroki making a verbal response. 

“Listen up scarface" I believed that to be a little harsh to the ear but then again that was Bakugou "Don’t you dare hold back as you did at the sports festival” his voice was so angry, he really still thought about that, did he forget I had beat him? ‘Bring everything you’ve got” I didn’t take it personally, I think Bakugou had a thing for people who didn’t take him seriously, while I did. “You too fight to win” he turned to Midoriya they were all agreeing and talking. 

“Are we forgetting I beat all three of you” I voiced and it went silent. “I mean” I laughed lightly an aura of danger being released. “I don’t like when people don’t take me seriously” I smiled and saw the nods.  

We got into place and I smirked standing on the pedestal. I could hear yelling and other things as I smiled seeing the boys activating their quirks and I sighed. “Get set” this would be easy. I smiled. “Go” as I went to jump I saw no illusion appear.

I heard the yells of my opponents as I fell into the water, having just stepped in instead of swimming. I rose to see Aizawa his hair up and quirk activated “It’s five pm, your authorised pool time is officially over. Hurry up and go home” did he have to do that. It was one race that would have been over in less than a minute. Kaminari and Sero voiced my complaints. “Are you questioning me” his eyes shone and I was glad I hadn’t been the one to talk.

We all rushed to get changed and go home once we were allowed. I sighed and got out of the pool feeling my quirk return to me, it was a weird feeling when it was off. Then I was heading home having to get ready for the camp. 

I ate once I was home and then began to repack making sure I had everything I needed when I finished packing for the night and laid down being rather exhausted more then I would like to admit. I sighed out and went on my phone seeing a message I had missed about a quarter of an hour before. “Do you have a spare charger I spent longer with my mother and left mine with her” Todorokis’ message read. I smiled, he had messaged me. 

“Yeah, I’ll pack it and give it to you at camp” I responded, I was never one for emojis or the little stickers but when I received one from Todoroki it being a little cat saying ‘Thank you’ I couldn’t help the blush rising to my cheeks. “No issues” I replied and stared at the ceiling for a moment to calm my racing heart. 

I was tired but that didn’t stop me from watching a video I wanted to catch up on, a few hours passed and it was getting close to midnight, I had to get some sleep. I moved to place my phone on charge, pulling the blanket over my body and the warmth and sleep consumed my form. Hello, summer break. 

_______________________________________________________________

Chapter 8 

[readingaccountability]

snow crash - neal stephenson

my playlist (because of The Way That I Am)

final thoughts:

okay, im going to be honest right out of the gate- i cant decide whether this is a book id recommend or not. it was really fun for the most part, but personally there was a lot more exposition than id like. the early portions of the novel have exposition which feels completely fair, mostly things relating to worldbuilding. stephenson creates his own vision of future america, and some places online referred to it as cyberpunk, and some as post-cyberpunk. id be more in the latter camp, mostly due to the way he plays with tropes, leaving the reader unsure of which will be subverted and which wont.

the use of language was really fun, and i enjoyed the worldbuilding a lot. his vision of a futuristic capitalistic earth feels surreal in its immediacy and recognizability. the back jacket blurb ends with "a future america so bizarre, so outrageous, you'll recognize it immediately." which, yeah. a texan info-tech magnate? two competing corporations owning the highway system? suburban city-states? this was another enjoyable thing- everything was colorfully named, and names treated totally normally, which kind of poked fun at how we have everyday things named very ludicrously and for the most part we are totally blind to it.

one aspect i really enjoyed was that the author often doesn't make certain things clear to the audience, until he does, and then it becomes necessary to reassess the entire story and setting. this goes to underscore the theme of the importance of information and the ways we take it in and perceive the world based upon it. for example, we don't learn that y.t. is fifteen until maybe 75 pages in, at which point a lot makes sense in retrospect. the same thing occurs in the worldbuilding, as suddenly a detail is given in passing and the reader must incorporate it into the setting, which by default we assume to be similar in many ways to our idea of america. it keeps the reader on their toes as well as furthering the worldbuilding. for the most part, the tech stuff didnt feel outdated to me, despite being a future projected out from '92.

however, aspects of the book are definitely very 1992. id put these into two camps: the first, being that the book does at different times use slurs. the main character is black and asian, the n word is used a few times by racist side-character/antagonist types, as are a few other racial slurs. there was also the occasional usage of the r slur, within the narrative prose itself, rather than usage as an insult within dialogue.

the protagonist, who is named, unfortunately, hiro protagonist, is a great character and felt very fleshed out to me, though at times he reminded me more of dirk strider than normally would be ideal. (its obvious that stephenson and andrew hussie are of a similar type of writer, and play with similar tropes, lmao.) hiro is a man of many worlds. he seems to shift between them easily, though never fully existing in any of them. this is reflected in his background, both in his biracial identity and in having been raised on a myriad of army bases. this is layered further in his fluidity in interacting with both reality and the metaverse, yet remaining slightly, consistently aloof. fascinatingly the first moment i sensed this drop was when we meet juanita- aka where his real and meta realities coincide. the description of them as the adam and eve of the metaverse is both insanely romantic and thematically key (good god i wish we had more than like, two conversations between them). juanita designed the facial component to metaverse avatars, doing the majority of this work when the two were together, and hiro can see echoes of both their facial tics in the face of every avatar in the metaverse. in a way, by having done this work juanita is positioned by the narrative as one of the gods of this digital realm. she is also hiro's call to action, being aware of the coming trouble and alerting him to it, as well as connecting him to the informational database he needs to prepare.

y.t., the secondary protagonist, fucking ruled. i loved that she was just a fifteen year old punkass kid whose mom doesnt know how crazy this part time job is. y.t. being worried about her mom was a great thread throughout, and a really good balance to how obviously independent y.t. is. i do wish there had been a chance to explain more about her background (she has a dad who left who is mentioned in a throwaway sentence, and a boyfriend who is mentioned near the beginning but never again.) i really enjoyed how obviously hyperaware y.t. was at all times about her own place within the insanities of the setting, while also consistently writing her as a teen maybe in way too deep who thinks about things in typically teenage ways. but like, that wasn't ever held against her? the narrative meets her where she is. it was honestly awesome. HOWEVER,

i absolutely hated the raven and y.t. scenes. how creepy!!! he basically statutory rapes her!!! we know hes at least late 20s early 30s, because hes the same age as hiro. if this sort of content is upsetting to read for you, i definitely do NOT recommend this book. (if you want to avoid reading these bits: ch 47 y.t. meets raven, ch 50 they are in a bar eating, ch 52 things happen that result in y.t.'s anti-assault device activating- she did not activate it on purpose, but forgot it was there- and raven is knocked out.)

please PLEASE dont take any of the following analysis as like, trying to be apologetic towards this scenes. because again they were awful and hard to get through and really gross. but im also cognizant that the author was obviously trying to convey something by making the choice, like the way it was written is obviously not condoning this sort of thing.

i think maybe what stephenson was trying to get at with that, was that we see hiro internally negate any potential for anything untoward with y.t. basically immediately, since he kind of senses that she might have a small crush on him (though this doesnt last more than a fleeting moment, especially from her perspective). vs raven, whose 'poor impulse control' warning tattoo eventually elicits a sarcastic remark from hiro after he finds out raven and y.t. were "a thing". i really dont think hiro knew how far it went? like it was just suuuper weird, but i figured it was meant narratively to 1. execute the chekovs gun of y.t.'s anti-assault device, 2. contrast hiro and raven (especially considering the bike-racing argument where theyre telling the story together, which is supposed to parallel them, while contrasting the differences in how they ended up?), and 3. just to get raven unconscious, i guess. but good god it was weird and i hated every second of it, why couldnt the device have like, activated way earlier?? gah. fucking upsetting. moving past that!

honestly i was really frustrated by how little screentime juanita got, because the way she was introduced was so fucking interesting and then shes mostly off doing her own thing. the bits of explanation she gives at the end about what she was up to on the raft are so sparse and im like damn, can we get a little bit of her pov in here? please? that would have ruled. additionally, shes supposed to be hiros love interest, but we see so little of them interacting outside her intro scenes. a huge portion of why hiro is getting into the sumerian mythology is literally framed as something that will help him understand juanita, but we dont get to see him talk to her about it barely at all.

the supporting characters were quite fun, i particularly liked the librarian. big surprise, i liked the overly literal ai information-dispensor, lmfao. watching him and hiro interact reminded me SO hard of geordi laforge having honest to god conversations with the computer where he tries to coax information out of it, aka one of my favorite little aspects of tng.

and lastly, the major plot themes themselves. i adore the way stephenson approached action, it was very entertaining. usually i cant really visualize action scenes written out, but his use of language was really really effective and engaging. the plot itself was absolutely fascinating, though i found the premise pretty contrived. which isnt bad in itself, i was fully suspending my disbelief until the last hundred pages or so. which for a 550+ page book, isnt too bad.

i did like the approach of linking the ancient to the modern, that is always really neat. and i think ultimately stephenson did it in an interesting way, not how i would have done it, but definitely interesting! creating these ideas about information infrastructures, and there being words that can access those and be used to control people, was wild. not sure if i agree about the equating of religion to a virus, though he did specifically establish that it was more the approach to religion, than religion itself. (maybe if juanita had been more goddamn present in the narrative that could have been elaborated on a little more. literally her perspective would have been perfect in balancing that out!!)

ultimately what did me in was the very very very long winded MONOLOGUE where hiro re-explained the whole premise, in ways that didnt really neatly organize into a cohesive argument. a lot of the scenes where hiro talks to the librarian, which are interspersed throughout the book, are really exposition heavy, because stephenson is rooting his ideas in historical concepts that need to be explained to both hiro and the audience. and i thought all that was fine, because it was a conversation where hiro was grappling with the information, and he was figuring it out along with the reader, and most importantly it was a conversation between him and the librarian computer program.

howeverrr later on we get a full rehash of all that, where hiro makes clear some stuff that was just implied for the reader, and hes literally just telling these important men whats up in this big long monologue. utterly worthless. i kept reading it and going YEAH, we KNOW, we know this we know this. and the important men barely interjected. it added basically nothing to our understanding of the situation, other than reframing it. but everything added was already an implicit thing, and didnt really need to be said again.

the resolution to the book was stellar, the last 30-40 pages, once hiro is onto the raft, were great. ultimately after reading and giving some time to digest it, i think it was a solidly great book with a few big drawbacks near the end, but which dont carry through and sully the ending.

[weebsinstash]

i was wondering idk, your force fanfictions are so hot and amazing but like.... i dont understand how I like them so much if ive experienced myself and dont know why I like them or if something is wrong with me... ik you may not be able to completely answer but a little insight would be helpful thank you

First, I'd like to start off by saying that this is a really sensitive topic that viewpoints vary greatly on and I will be speaking on behalf of my personal experience/opinion. Obviously, this is an ask about forced/nonconsensual fetishes and if this is an upsetting topic, this is your warning to skim past this ask because I'm gonna get real personal in a sec

So Anon, I've heard and read that nonconsensual encounters are actually a fairly common kink but isn't spoken very openly about because of the stigma, which judging by my 4000 followers is uh, pretty easy to believe. There are many reasons why people like this sort of thing, and for some survivors of sexual assault, some find the exploration of the event through fiction as a sort of empowerment over a traumatic experience, helped by the fact that the story is a fake scenario that they the reader have full control over and can stop reading at any time. It can be a way of coping. It's also the fact that... honestly, you're allowed to like it, quite frankly. It doesn't mean you condone or support it when it happens in reality, but in a make-believe scenario, in theory like fanfiction or roleplay with a partner, it's not exactly hurting anyone to explore a fake thing happening to a fake person in a fake story, and again, heavy emphasis on the word fake. It's a fetish; it's not like you're wanting to like, commit cannibalism

You reading or exploring something in your personal time that is not hurting or affecting anyone else and brings you joy/comfort/that fat nut is your right to do and you shouldn't beat yourself up about it at all ❤

I'm going to be real here: a big reason I've latched onto This Stuff is rooted in my deeply-seeded, massive insecurities, which by extension probably stems from childhood abuse by the hands of my father. For me personally, a huge reason I like this sort of thing is because I consider myself so horrible, so ugly and repulsive and disgusting and so unfathomably undesirable that I have literally made peace with dying alone, so there's some sort of... fucked up twisted thrill in the idea that someone liked me or loved me or was attracted enough to me, that someone actually gave a shit enough about me or at the very least my body enough to say "you know what, I want you so bad I dont even care what you want, I just cant control myself"

Also I'm sure you've noticed but in 9 times out of 10 in the stories I write, the dominant partner character who, you know, fucks the reader insert character, is almost always older and more experienced either in life or bed or both or whatever, which reflects on the fact I never feel like I know what the fuck I'm doing and I often feel like a clueless helpless little girl who needs help all the time and in that regard, having someone who has all their shit together and can "take care of me" even if it's in a fucked up way is. Comforting I guess

So those are my guts spilled for the night. I'm not sure this may have been quite the answer you were looking for, but I hope it may help you in one way or another, if not at the very least you being disgusted and being all "oh geez this is so cringe, thank god I'm not like her, I feel much better now" 😂

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Um what do you do if people are sending you anon hate? For writing smut specifically... I've been having some trouble and I keep blocking them and deleting the asks bc it does both me and im not good at handling situations like that... i mean, I age up the characters, I write adult situations, I dont even touch anything like that but they still come at me...

Okay, I’m going to put my response under the cut, because this shit makes me LIVID. 

So don’t read if your feelings are easily hurt and you’re one of these types of people who do shit on anon just ‘because you can’.

But I know you will, anyway.

(°◡°♡)

Honestly I’m probably not the best person to ask about this because I literally do not care about the shit that people say to me. Especially not on anon. 

In the end, all you can do is try to grow a thick skin and stand by yourself and what you love to do. There will be people out there that love it too, usually MORE people than those that hate, but the problem with shit like this is that people who DO love it are less likely to send a nice comment, when people who DON’T like it think they are entitled to be little punks. 

There’s a difference between hate and constructive criticism. More people need to look into what that is, but sadly, most people just want to voice their ‘opinions’, which is really them just being little bitch babies. 

And what I believe in, is if you don’t give them the time of day, no matter HOW many anons they send, what they say, or what they do, then they have NO power over you. What they say will never be seen by anyone but you (and anyone you show I guess), and in the end, if you respond, you give them that power. Sure, sometimes it’s funny to respond if their gripe is absolute bullshit, but it’s important to pick and choose what you decide to respond to. Because in the end, it will cause more to come in, by the same person or whoever else. 

What people don’t know is that I get a lot of shit. Every day. For the things I write, for my OCs, the way I characterize / write canon characters, my art, my etsy store. Literally ANYTHING someone can say, I’ve gotten it. But they have no power over me. 

I’m an adult. I have two full time jobs. I have other responsibilities. Writing is a hobby for me, it makes me happy and I have fun doing it when I have the time. But I’m not a dedicated writer, nor do I ever want to make it something big in my life. I just do it for fun, and if other people like it, then great! 

But there will always be people who don’t like things, and they feel the need to attack if they don’t like something, instead of just

You know

Moving the fuck on with their lives. 

I firmly, FIRMLY believe that if you see something you don’t like in a warning ( be it before the story or in the tags) and you STILL read it and then STILL go after the person who wrote it, you are in the wrong. 

YOU have to make your internet experience better and safe for YOURSELF. 

Us smut writers should:

Put proper warnings

Tag the shit

Put under ‘read more’ 

Make sure our readers are aware that +18 content will be posted, either in our bio or SOMEWHERE

And if a person STILL READS IT then it is THEIR FAULT for seeing something they wouldn’t like. 

I. Am. Not. Your. Mother. 

I will not baby you. You don’t like the shit, then gtfo.

All in all, it’s YOUR space. It’s YOUR blog. Make sure you are properly tagging, putting warnings, all that shit, but from that point on, if they get upset, then it’s their own. Fucking. Fault. And they shouldn’t stick around. If they do, it’s because they are baiting you and looking for that negative attention, trying to push some bullshit agenda instead of just making their life (and yours) better by just going away. Ignoring the shit they don’t like. 

Seriously people. 

Don’t like something?

Block the tag. 

Don’t like someone or their content?

Unfollow them

I know it’s hard. But don’t let these people control you or your content. They are but a drop of water in a huge ocean of people that will enjoy your work and do support you. 

They are insignificant in your life. 

So block. Delete. Only post the positive shit. Know the difference between hate and constructive criticism (really, there are some people out there who are being genuine and trying to help you, but it can be hard to see the difference). 

Sorry I kind of went off there, but. 

I hope that helps a bit.  (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡