#never know what to tag this stuff lol

[heliosynchronisity]

[ink-the-artist]

Video game I saw in a dream. It was in this low poly style like an older video game. You play as this character I think was meant to be a lamb, or maybe a weird mix of a lamb a mouse and a rabbit, (while not really looking like any of those things) and you’re running away from a wolf. Your objective is to last as long as possible before the wolf catches and eats you.

The house you’re running in is endless and bizarrely put together like most building interiors in dreams are (like the infinite toilet dream dimension on Reddit lol) the layout of the house is pretty detailed, you can stop and hide in places like closets or bins while the wolf looks for you, you can go up and down stairs and into rooms etc.

You never actually know where the wolf is or how close it is to you until it appears in your line of sight, it makes no noise and the game gives you no way of knowing where it is, and it’s pretty unpredictable it doesnt move at a consistent pace. When the wolf catches you there’s an animation showing it eating your character

[lazlolemur]

A fun experimental piece based off of dreaming

[cowardlykrow]

After Cyn's done tryna kill him, she'll eventually relent and they can get to work... whatever that is. I didn't do the outfit any justice, but the second i saw the Cowboy!Curt mega @ricky-mortis made i was literally like, "yes, that is IT."

This is, in my heart, a cannon fit for this au

[lucalicatteart]

A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

[spider-man-2o99]

The prevailing belief of many ASTV viewers seems to be that Miguel O'Hara is an actual, literal vampire. Do you think this funny.

Nope! <3 it shows such a lack of willingness to do even Basic Research that would take maybe two seconds to look up that it makes me want to Kill. like. cmon. he has Fangs because he's half-spider...,,.,

They're hollow, and whenever he Bites People, it is specifically with the intent to POISON them with the VENOM from his FANGS-- he also Says That every time he does it, like he's an anime character, lol, and it means a lot to me. we don't know the exact makeup or potency of his venom, but we Do know that it's fast-acting, paralytic, and (apparently, thankfully) non-toxic, at least.

[wundrousarts]

Mini Silverborn Countdown

If you’ve been around for a few years, you’ve seen me vaguely mention a “Silverborn Countdown Challenge” several times. It’s been delayed and changed as many times as the book itself, lol.

If anyone wants sort of a low-stakes, very chill and spaced out version of this ye olde never tackled challenge to complete in the next year before Silverborn, I propose what I’m doing:

Every 3 months leading up to the initial release, I am creating one thing based on each of the books.

January — Nevermoor

April — Wundersmith

July — Hollowpox

[crescentfool]

I noticed you're a Ryomina!!! How did you get into it? And do you have any good fanfics/doujinshi you can advice me to read? ANYTHING on Ryomina actually? I'm dying for anything about them!!! Thanks!!

yes!!! it's me!!! i'm ryomina fan (one of many)!!! thank you for visiting my askbox, i'll do my best to answer all of the questions because it always makes me happy to see that ryomina sparks joy for people! :D

...this got really long because i like linking to things, so i'm putting it under a read more (IM VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM)

how did i get into it? i got into persona 3 around august 2021 through the movies- at the time my only experience with the persona series was with P5R / P5S / P5D. p3 was the one that interested me the most (i thought minato was very pretty + i caught wind that the themes of the game were very resonant with people). i picked the movies over the game because i'm a guy who plays games at a snails pace, haha.

admittedly, i did latch onto ryomina because of the scenes in the third and fourth movie (i have mentioned in the tags of this art i drew how much i felt like i was exploding and blasting off to the moon watching it).

but what really dug me into the ryomina hole (and what has kept me there) was thinking about how much ryoji encapsulates the themes of p3- and how interconnected his fate is with minato. i wrote some musings about their dynamic here, if you're interested!

tl;dr: what if we were both boys and we were mirror images of each other and i inherited your kindness and looks but god doomed our narrative even though we're soulmates

on ryomina fanworks recommendations:

regarding fics: i'm going to assume that you've probably read the fics that have the highest kudo ratings on them, so i won't really be listing those.

a personal favorite fic that i always hold close to my heart is Eurydice's Vow by crescentmoontea, which explores the idea of ryomina in p5r's third semester. this was the first fic i read about ryomina and it made me tear up lots...

i also think a lot about I Alone Await You by Nail_gun, literally scrumptious writing that captures the ryomina dynamic so so well. actually check out Nail_gun's other ryomina fics while you're at it too!

other fun fic i'm fond of: can't get my mind out of those memories (what were they?) by foxmulder_whereartthou. ryoji being homeless lives rent free in my head and it's all because of this fic. there's a bunch of other fun ryominas from the same author too (i still need to read them)

BkZa555 also has some fun AU scenarios if you're into that too, notably with Zagreus (P5-Setting, Ryoji focus) and The Definition of Insanity (TIME LOOP fuckery!), but they're currently ongoing.

these were some ones that came to my mind first- as i have the strongest recollection reading them. admittedly i haven't really been reading fic this year, so i don't have many recommendations from fic that came out this year. but if you're so inclined to let ryomina consume your soul, i definitely recommend giving the newer works in the ryomina tag a look-see and see if it strikes your fancy!

as a side note, i do have a few ryomina fics that i've bookmarked on my ao3 here, though i have to say that i'm not sure how well they hold up in terms of like... what i would seek out of a fic these days. but they made past me happy so i bookmarked them, LOL. it's kind of outdated (my collection of fic recs has my old username *disintegrates*).

regarding doujinshi: i have not read all the ryomina doujinshi available, but as a starting point, please take a look at this list from pandora-scans from livejournal!

notably, this is where you can find the strawberry-chan say good bye doujin- which features a small and cute comic from shuji sogabe (the p3/p4 manga artist), as well as other artists. the existence of this doujinshi is the funniest thing to me because it's like "HEY if you're wondering what the volume 8 cover is really gay it's because sogabe contributed to a ryomina doujin." this fact makes my head spin (positive). it explains a lot about the manga.

regarding persona side material:

i know you didn't ask for these but i thought that i mine as well list these too, since i feel that the side materials have some fun expansions on ryoji and minato's interactions. i haven't... watched/read all of these but, hey, i like to share these things!

for comic anthologies for the persona series (some of which have ryoji!). if you're interested in reading them, here's a scanlation index from maboroshi-no on tumblr. i don't think this is a comprehensive list, but i think it will be a great starting point!

for some translations of the persona 3 drama cds, check out imaginary-numbers on dreamwidth! ryoji and minato interactions can specifically be found in the persona 3 character drama cd vol. 1, and for the audio + english subs, you can watch this video on youtube:

and ohh the musical. ryoji singing and dancing gives me so much joy. i haven't watched the musical in it's entirety (only fragments), but here are some links that may be of interest to you:

Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Sakuya version - playlist for the first p3 musical, translated by Phoenix Maiika.

Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Kotone version - playlist for the femc version!! also translated by Phoenix Maiika on YouTube.

Persona 3: The Weird Masquerade (English Subtitles) - playlist by rumio!

P3 Weird Musical DVD & Soundtrack Booklet Scans by rumio_k - twitter thread that links to these funsies, if you don't have twitter, here's the publicly shared drive link.

god. these sure are a lot of links, huh? i hope you enjoy them- pick and choose whatever sounds most appealing! (if this overwhelmed you im sorry GKLHLDH i just like being very comprehensive in my answers about things so i got carried away).

and as a reminder, you (and anyone else reading) are always welcome to browse my tags/archive and reblog things from there anytime! i have... nearly 300 ryomina posts which, while mostly consists of art, has a few fics, meta, hcs, gifs, memes, and whatnot scattered about.

or browse the minato and ryoji tags too! there's.. nearly 1k minato. and 500 ish ryoji. and they're going to keep on growing because i can't stop being obsessed with archiving these things. god help me i am so deep in this hole called ryomina hell and now you're here too. welcome aboard!

there's always going to be a lot of fun ways to enjoy rotating ryomina around in one's brain, i think- they're a pairing with such fun symbolic imagery that is So Deep (to me) but ALSO they're immensely hilarious and weird guys (affectionate). so i love to share these things in hopes that it gives you joy too! they are the most couple ever (to me) (i'm biased)

thank you again for the ask! i hope it can satiate your need for more ryomina, and be a nice aide in exploring the p3 fanspace :)

[finniestoncrane]

said to my counsellor that i wasnt built for friendship because everyone always eventually just. stops speaking to me and she went “ok why do you think that is?” and then when i finished my dumb sad list she went “ok so maybe you aren’t good at friendship” and i. have never regretted spending £50 more in my life lol

[quinn-pop]

sorry for the metadede flood lately um. anyway i think dedede officiates waddle weddings. if they even have them lol. it’d be funny and cute

[kasperbunny]

Nothing Would Be Harder Than Knowing You're Not Mine

shane/elfie

i wrote this back in september, but i think im finally gonna post it here. lil thing for shane and my farmer elfie. a little bit angsty but fluffy in the end <3 (and if anyone wants a reference for how elfie looks here ya go)

this fic can be found on ao3 as well.

Shane was crazy. He had to be. There was no possible way that any of this was even real to begin with. He was deluding himself, like he always did, trying to convince himself that anything good could ever happen to the likes of him. He was just stupid. He was always stupid. She didn’t, and couldn’t love him.

The sound of the glass bottle being sluggishly placed back on the table echoed against the walls of his untidy room. At least it was on the table, unlike so many of the beer cans and assorted alcohol bottles littering the floor of his room. He always said he would eventually pick them up, but he supposed he said that about everything in his life. I'll pick up those bottles tomorrow, I'll start to cut back on beer tomorrow, I'll finally fucking do something with my life tomorrow.

Shutting his eyes, he groaned and leaned his head back against the wall he was sitting against. His thoughts were still swirling in his head even after consuming more than half the bottle. He knew he shouldn't drink the whole thing, but how else would he get rid of these thoughts of insecurity, of self doubt, of…her? 

She was so beautiful. Not in a human way, her teeth too sharp and her eyes having that animalistic instinct to them. Her long, dark hair shimmered green in the bright sunlight as her small horns poked out of the top of her head. Shane couldn’t help but think she was ripped straight from his dreams. Maybe an acid induced dream, but a dream all the same. She always seemed so ethereal, yet dangerous. Like an otherworldly being with the power to turn him to ash with just a glance of those wild eyes.

And what was he? A human? A pathetic one at that. All he ever did was drink, work, drink, work, and drink again. Occasionally he would interrupt his schedule to head over to her little cabin on the farm so she could have her fun with him. Not that he wasn’t grateful for it, oh how grateful he was to even have a woman look at him, let alone allow him to pleasure her over and over, but is that all he was good for? Sex? He couldn’t even wrap his head around the idea. Why was she wasting her time with him, of all people? Shane was convinced she pitied him, that’s what it had to be. She could have anyone she wanted, multiple people if she so wished. She was so heavenly and enticing, why was she screwing the town drunk? Did she enjoy toying with him, luring him into a false sense of security and then crushing his already fragile heart?

“Fuck,” Shane’s head was spinning, not just from the alcohol, but from all the thoughts rushing back to him. He drank to get away from these feelings, not to accelerate them. Groaning under his breath, he struggled to steady himself against the wall so that he could stand up. Maybe I need some fresh air, he thought as he stumbled his way out of his bedroom. Anything beats rotting inside my room. 

Thankfully, Marnie and Jas were nowhere to be found as he made his way into the kitchen. He grimaced at the thought of Jas having to see him this way, and he hated to think of what Marnie would say about her good for nothing nephew being drunk again. Sighing, Shane managed to grab a can of cold beer from the fridge before making his way outside into the evening sun.

The crisp, cool autumn air was at least a small relief to his burning face. Alcohol always made him feel so warm, but never in a pleasant way. He always loved this time of year, when the leaves turned different shades of gold and burgundy and the hot, humid summer air finally subsided. Every year autumn hit the sleepy little countryside of Stardew Valley and every year Shane asked himself why he never went outside more and enjoyed the weather. Depression would do that to you, he supposed.

Somehow he managed to stumble his way to the edge of the forest, the large pond coming into his sight. The old dock creaked and wobbled under his feet as he made his way to the very end of it, plopping himself down so that his legs dangled off the edge. Cracking open the beer, he leaned himself back on his other hand, taking a sip and looking out at the clear, blue water in front of him. He always loved coming here when his head was clouded, somehow it put him at ease even if just for a little while. For a moment he closed his eyes as his head continued to spin with his intoxication, but it didn’t stop him from taking another large swig of the beer in his hand. At least his head was swirling because of the alcohol and not because of all the thoughts and doubts he had about his…relationship. If he could even call it that.

Shane thought that if he fell asleep right here on this dock, he wouldn’t mind it at all. In fact, he felt himself starting to doze off until his peace was interrupted by a terrifyingly familiar voice that immediately snapped him awake.

“Shane!” Elfie’s always excited voice came from behind him, causing him to straighten from his relaxed posture and tighten his grip on the can of beer in his hand. Shit, he thought, Of course she’s here. Another reason to hate living in such a small town. Can’t a drunk man spiral in peace?

He hadn’t even turned around at the sound of her, too scared to even face her right now. The silence from him didn’t deter her at all though as she plopped herself comfortably next to him at the edge of the dock, her legs so long that the ends of her dirty work boots dipped into the water below them and caused a ripple.

“Hey!” She was grinning that too sharp grin at him, her canines seeming to be even sharper than her other teeth. Usually the sight of them caused Shane’s stomach to flip in delight, but all he could think about at the moment was throwing himself into the pond and to never be seen again. Wishful thinking.

“H-Hey…” He finally muttered back at her, only half meeting her gaze before he looked out into the water again, making sure to chug the rest of his beer as he did. He was definitely going to need it.

“I didn’t see you today! You’re usually always at the bar so I went there looking for you,” She smelled like sweat, Shane noted, but somehow the smell of her perfume still lingered on her skin despite how much labor she put into that farm, “But you weren’t there, and Emily said she hadn’t seen you either, so I thought you’d be home,” If Shane had been looking at her he would have noticed how animated she was as she rambled, always using her hands to talk and map out exactly what she was feeling. Not to mention how her tail swayed absentmindedly, another reminder that she was so wholeheartedly not human, and that Shane was way in over his head. 

“So here I am! And I found you!” She was beaming at him, her feet swaying as they hung off the edge of the rickety dock. Shane had only half been listening to her, mostly because of the alcohol fogging his brain, but partly because he just didn’t know what to say to her. He felt petrified, starting to sweat as all his racing thoughts came back to him full force.

What did he want to say? What could he say? Would she even care how he was feeling? They weren’t dating, after all. At least he didn’t think so. Why would she put any thought into how her latest fling felt? Is that what he was to her, a fling? That had to be it, that’s all he was to her. Just a fun little toy to play with until she inevitably got bored of him and realized what he really was. The town bum, a drunk, a depressed, lazy sack of shit that was only good for pitying. She didn’t return his feelings. He would never be enough for her to be considered anything more than a fleeting thought. He would never be good enough for anyone. Never, never, never, never, never…

“Shane?” 

He realized he had taken too long to reply as his thoughts suffocated and consumed him. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, exhaling loudly as he tried to compose himself, apparently forgetting to breathe in his haste. 

“Are you okay?”

He swallowed thickly, allowing himself a glance over at her despite knowing it would be a mistake. She was looking right at him with those beautiful, big brown eyes that shone golden as they reflected the setting sun. Concern traced her features as her thick brows furrowed slightly, causing Shane to look away quickly in shame. He couldn’t handle her looking at him like that. Like she actually cared.

“I…Yeah. I’m fine, just…” He couldn’t breathe, he felt like his chest was going to explode as his heart raced. His hands were sweating, “Can I ask you a question, Elfie?” 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, why was he so stupid? 

“Oh, yeah! Anything,” She didn’t seem to be picking up on his absolutely earth shattering anxiety, simply smiling softly at him and giving him all her attention.

Shane's mouth suddenly felt like sandpaper, his tongue too heavy in his mouth and his throat feeling like it was going to close up. His heart was beating so fast he could feel it thump-thump-thump in his ears, making his head pound. He should have brought more beer.

"Do you even care about me? Like, really care about me?" His voice broke slightly, tears stinging at his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He hesitated to say the word love instead, not being able to take the heartbreak if she said no.

"We sleep together, don't we?" She cocked her head slightly to the side, her eyebrows scrunching a little as she attempted to understand Shane's question.

"What? Yeah, but…" He avoided her gaze, his grip on the can of beer in his hand tightening so that it had started to dent. "That's not what I mean, and you know it."

"I don't know it," Her tail was twitching curiously as she watched him, trying to understand what he meant. He seemed upset, angry…but why? Didn't she show that she cared about him? They hung out all the time, they kissed, they were intimate. Isn’t that how humans were supposed to act when they cared about each other? Hadn’t she been doing that for months now? She knew he had been drinking, and she only hoped this was a spout of drunken stupor. Elfie wished that humans would just say what they really meant, instead of making her guess.

"You…" he huffed a frustrated sigh, his patience being strung even thinner than it usually was,"You do know. I know you do," He couldn't stop his hands from shaking, "I just want you to treat me like a real human being. I'm not just some toy for you to play with. I'm real, Elfie!"

She was quiet for a moment, only staring at him as his words washed over her. 

"But I'm…not a human being," Her words were laced with confusion. She didn't understand, but a pang of guilt shot through her chest nonetheless. She finally looked away from him, trying to find an answer as she glanced down into the rippling blue water below them, "I'm sorry, Shane. Is that what you want? A human?"

"Fuck," all the effort of holding back his tears was in vain, as they finally started to burst from his eyes and roll over his reddened cheeks. They felt hot on his face, the anger and sadness bubbling up inside of him and boiling over in the form of tears. 

"You don't understand," he didn't think he had ever felt so disgusting. Sure, he had endured countless nights of sobbing and drinking himself to sleep, but never had he felt so pathetic, so hopeless, so useless. He couldn't even look at her, he was too embarrassed. Here he was, a thirty year old man, crying his eyes out in front of the woman of his dreams. If she didn't already pity him and find him pathetic, she would now, seeing him in this state. 

Not being able to form words, Shane buried his face in the sleeves of his hoodie. He wished he could just disappear, or at least pretend that they had never met. Maybe his life would still suck, but at least he wouldn't have to torment himself over her.

She didn't know if she should touch him, but she did anyway, gently placing a hand on his back and rubbing in careful, soothing motions. Elfie realized that she had never seen Shane cry in the months that she had known him. He was always so calm, if not standoffish, never emotional like this. Then again, somehow she had never been around him when he was drunk either. She wanted to kiss his tears away.

Shane flinched away at her touch, "Don't pity me! Please, please don't fucking pity me," he pushed her away, attempting to push himself up to stand despite how liquid his whole body felt. Somehow he managed without slipping off of the dock, "I'm sorry. I just…I need to go. I'm sorry," He was still crying as he turned from her, his whole body shaking and feeling like it would fall apart at any second.

"Shane!" Elfie was quick to stand and follow him, not that it was very hard to catch up to a drunk man. She had reached out to grab him by the arm before realizing it would be a bad idea, so she kept it to herself, "Shane, please. You're right, I don't understand. Please tell me." 

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe the depression, maybe the months of never knowing if his feelings were reciprocated and never knowing where he stood with her. Probably a mix of everything as Shane couldn't stop himself from shaking and his tears just kept coming. Thick streams of liquid poured down his cheeks and dripped onto his already stained hoodie. He was so sad, so angry. Angry at himself, at her, at the universe. They had such a good thing going for all these months, why did he have to overthink things and make a mess out of himself like he always did?

He was still standing away from her, not daring to look into her eyes out of fear of completely breaking down. His chest felt so painfully tight, like it would just combust if he breathed the wrong way. His own arms came up to cradle himself in a last ditch effort to provide any kind of comfort to his aching body. He wished so badly that they were her arms instead. 

"I…" He took a shuddering breath as he tried to calm himself enough to talk. His voice was shaking, "What are we, Elfie? Why do you waste your time with me?" He hiccupped out another soft sob, "I'm nothing. I'm fucking nothing to you. You're so beautiful…" Shane felt fresh, hot tears wet his face once more. God, he was so drunk right now. He felt like he was going to pass out, "If you don’t want something serious, or you just want sex, then fine, but just tell me now so I can get over you."

Elfie had never fought the urge to hug anyone so hard before. Not out of pity like Shane was so convinced of, but out of genuine care. Even if their relationship was a mystery, they were at least friends and Elfie wanted more than anything to take care of her friend right now. Even if she was the reason he was in pain in the first place.

She cautiously took a few steps towards him, her voice soft and laden with concern, "I do care about you, Shane," She tried to choose her words carefully, knowing he wasn’t in a right state of mind, "I thought…I thought I was showing you that," her hands twisted anxiously behind her back. She was never very good at communicating her emotions, much preferring them to shine through her actions, "I liked you, so…When you came over that night…and we kissed…I thought…" she trailed off slightly, hoping she was making sense, "I thought this was how it was supposed to work. I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" She was fighting back her own tears now, her eyes blinking rapidly to try and ward them off. 

She had never intended to hurt him, she would never want to. She was inexperienced, still young for her species, and still trying to figure out what it was that she even wanted. When she had moved into that dilapidated farm and met the townspeople, met Shane, she was happy. She thought she made him happy too.

Shane felt his anger start to bubble again, quickly coming to a boil and spilling over the top, "Did you hurt me? Of course you hurt me! Why else would I be here crying my eyes out and looking like a fucking idiot!" He didn't mean to raise his voice at her, he didn't mean to, but he couldn't contain his emotions as easily as he could when he was sober. He couldn't even think straight, his head now pounding and his entire body shaking against his will. Why was he so worked up? Why was he even hopeful in the first place that maybe, just maybe, something good would actually happen in his miserable life?

"Do you want me to leave?" She didn't fight the tears starting to shimmer in her eyes. Her voice was unusually quiet and small. She didn't know what else to say. What could she say? She liked Shane, she liked all the humans around this small town, she never wanted to cause any harm or hurt anyone. Was she just stupid? Sometimes she felt that way, not picking up on their emotions and not knowing what the right thing to say was. She cared so much, yet never knew if she was doing enough.

Finally turning around to face her at the question, all of Shane's anger melted away and instead was replaced with a sting of guilt shooting right through his already aching chest. She looked so sad, so pleading. Like she was genuinely remorseful, like she genuinely didn't understand what she was doing. Shane had seen her cry before, but only over such small things. Like the time she had caught a frog outside in the rain, and she had hurried inside to show him. She acted like he hadn't seen a frog before, but she was so excited to open up her cupped hands and exclaim about it to him. She had been crying then (Shane! Look how small it is!), but out of pure joy. Now…she stood there, sniffling with tears rolling down her cheeks. Shane noted how she was still so, so beautiful even in her sadness.

"Elfie I…" He ran an anxious hand through his already messy hair, cautiously taking a step toward her. He was staring at the ground, the sight of her crying because of him was too much to bear, "I'm sorry. I'm drunk, I can't…" He squeezed his stinging eyes shut, wanting nothing more than to just lay down. He needed the biggest nap of his life right now, "I can't…Think. I'm sorry."

She could see him now, as he faced her. His handsome face now stained with tears and his eyes puffy. Had she done this to him? Had he been hurting this bad for so long, and she hadn't even known?

"Can I please hug you, Shane?" 

She didn't get a verbal response, Shane simply closing the space between them in a heartbeat. As quickly as she had asked, he was already there, his face pressed against her chest and his shaking arms wrapping themselves around her waist in an embrace. She returned it, holding him tight against her and leaning down a little to nuzzle her face in his dark hair.

He felt so safe in her arms. All of his sadness, his tiredness, his anger, melting away at her embrace. She was so warm and soft and wonderful, like nothing bad could ever happen to him as long as he was wrapped tight in her arms. 

"It's okay. I have you," Her words came out in a sweet whisper, one of her hands trailing up his back and up into his hair to stroke at it softly. He shivered at her touch, starting to cry again. How could she be so sweet, after he had just yelled at her for doing nothing wrong? He had made her cry, and yet here she was, comforting and cradling him like he even deserved an ounce of her kindness. Sometimes she seemed like Shane’s only saving grace. An angel fallen to Earth, bestowing upon him her unconditional compassion.

"Please don't leave. I don't want you to leave me. I love…" Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it you drunk fucking idiot, "I love…being around you," Shane hiccupped softly against her, whining as he struggled to form words. He had never felt more pathetic, but somehow he was at ease as she held him. Maybe he was just too tired at this point to care.

She shushed him, sensing how much he was struggling with his words. If she hadn't been holding him, he probably would have collapsed to the ground in front of her.

"We…we're so different. How are we going to make this work?" Shane sobbed, his fingers digging into the small of her back, "Do you want to make this work…?" His voice cracked, his tone pleading with her. Please, please don't leave me after this, he rattled off in his head, I'm sorry.

She didn't feel like she could answer at the moment, not even knowing how she felt. She liked him, she knew that, but he was right. They were so different, they were different species, sometimes they didn't even understand each other. But she wanted to try, if only to make up for how she had made him feel.

Elfie placed a soft kiss to his forehead, keeping her lips there as she spoke, "You need to lay down…do you want me to take you to the farm?" Her voice was even lower than a whisper, as if her sweet, soft words were a secret for Shane's ears only.

"Y-Yeah. Yeah," He let out a shaky sigh, "Thank you…" He wished he could stop crying, but her never ending kindness just overwhelmed him over and over again. She was such a good person, even if she didn't always understand the people around her. Shane envied her for that.

"Okay. Take my hand, come on," With that, they finally untangled from each other and interlocked their fingers as she led him up the path to her humble cabin. Shane tried his best not to stumble, but it was so difficult when his legs felt like they were made of jelly. It didn't help that his heart was still beating out of his chest as they held hands the whole way. He was sure they had held hands before, but this time felt…different. It felt so genuine, and he never wanted to let go.

Finally making it, Shane attempted to stumble up the three little steps before reaching her door. Elfie kept a hand against his back the whole time, stabilizing him and making sure he didn't fall. He practically collapsed into her bed, the familiar softness bringing him comfort as he finally felt his body relax. He couldn't stop a heavy sigh as he rolled onto his back and closed his eyes, the exhale making his chest feel less tight.

A sudden dip in the spot next to him caused him to lazily open his eyes back up, only half lidded now. She had sat next to him, her hand back in his disheveled hair and her nails lightly scratching at his scalp. It felt so heavenly, her hands always did. He made a small noise of approval as he looked up at her. She smiled as they made eye contact, her thumb stroking across his forehead in a loving gesture.

"I'm…" He let out another shuddering breath, trying to still his shaking body, "I'm sorry that you had to see me like this. I…" he squeezed his eyes shut so he could focus on talking, "I tried for so long to not drink in front of you…I don't want you to be scared…" 

"Shh. It's okay, Shane," She cooed at him, "I'm not scared. I could never be scared of you," She flashed her teeth as she chuckled, "You just need to rest, okay?" Suddenly she was getting up from the bed, much to Shane's disappointment, but quickly surprised him again as she walked to the end of the bed and started to untie the laces on his sneakers. 

"Let me get these off for you so you can sleep, okay?" Shane stared at her as she removed his shoes, then quickly removed her own boots and dropped them to the floor with a heavy thud. His heart was beating fast again.

"Why…Why are you being so nice to me, Elfie?" He was looking up at her again as she seated herself next to him once more. The gesture was still replaying in his head. He couldn't remember ever being taken care of like this, "I yelled at you…I…" I'm not worthy, he thought, "I'm an asshole."

Her smile was always so cute, so charmingly sweet, like she had never been mad at anyone in her life.

"Sometimes…" She teased. She remembered when they first met and he had been so rude as she introduced herself. It never deterred her, only making her more ambitious to befriend him. Maybe that did make her stupid, but she guessed it had all worked out in the end, "But…we're friends, right? And…friends take care of each other. So that's what I'm doing. Now, move over."

Struggling to move over, Shane gave her ample room to slide in next to him. They were facing each other now, able to look into each other's eyes with how close they were.

"Is this okay?" Elfie brought a hand up to cup Shane's tear stained face, rubbing a thumb gently over his cheek, then across his lips, "Can I kiss you?"

A smile finally cracked its way onto Shane's face, quickly twitching into a full on laugh at her question. A sleeve of his hoodie coming up to hide his face, trying not to offend her.

"What?" Her pointed ears twitched, her smile fading from her face as she looked at him confused, "Why are you laughing?" Did I say something wrong? 

"I'm sorry, I just…You don’t need permission to kiss me," He hadn't meant to laugh at her, but the question was just so absurd to him, considering how physical their relationship had been up to that point. He welcomed the laugh though, at least he wasn't feeling completely miserable now, “Elfie, we’ve…done a lot worse than that.”

"Well…!" She slapped him playfully on the shoulder, a toothy grin spreading across her face, "You…You said you wanted me to treat you real, so…I was thinking about your feelings!" She was mirroring his laughing now too, "So is that a yes…? I really want to kiss you."

"Y-Yeah. Please…" he gave a short huff through his nose as his laughing died down and her lips connected with his. He eagerly welcomed it, his eyes closing again as he leaned into her touch. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he pulled her in against him so that their bodies were flush with each other. He never wanted to let her go.

"Mm…" She sighed happily, smiling against the familiar feel of his lips against her own. She was purring, the noise startling Shane a little before he realized what it was. He didn't think he would ever get used to the fact that she could even do that. 

She was the one to finally pull away, still stroking her thumb against his cheek as she spoke, "Do you want to…talk? Um, about us, I guess. That's what you wanted, right?" She was trying to choose her words carefully as they looked at each other, anxiety now making a home in her own chest. She wasn't good with serious conversations. She had no idea where to even start.

Shane dipped his fingers underneath her shirt, just to touch her hip, just to feel her warm skin underneath his touch, "Yeah, I want to. I just…" His head was still spinning, but he seemed much more relaxed than before, "I'm drunk, babe. I can't…I can't right now. Tomorrow…" His voice was soft, sleepy, as his eyes fluttered shut once more. It felt impossible to open them again, his exhaustion overtaking him as he leaned into her.

She was still purring quietly, looking down at his tired face, wanting nothing more than to give him anything he needed.

"Okay. It's a promise," She was whispering again, causing Shane to shiver, "Get some rest, Shane. I'll be right here."

"Thank you…for taking care of me…" He managed to mutter out before dozing off, pressing his face in against her chest as he used it like a pillow. She giggled at that, returning a hand to his hair and petting him as he slumbered.

She hadn't meant to fall asleep, only meaning to ease him to sleep and then get up and do a few chores that she hadn't gotten to that day, but it couldn't be helped. It was already dark outside, and she had such a warm and soft man right next to her, holding onto her so sweetly as he snored quietly. She felt her eyes flutter shut, not even fighting to keep them open as she joined him in his sweet dreams. 

[skepticalarrie]

hello!

I have to ask. In both All Along, Always You and Too Young Louis talks about finally realizing Harry was IT and THE ONE for him after time away from Harry (traveling to different places) And wishing he had seen it all along. But what do you think that means? It seems like Louis doubted Harry was THE ONE for him and maybe he doubted between Harry and someone else.....?? But then again Louis talks about having only one proper relationship so this all doesn't make sense to me anymore. Because I always thought Louis saw Harry as THE ONE since 2010....

Hi! I don't think these songs are exactly about that though, I don't think it even scratches the surface of what he's trying to say with these, actually. And I think it's way beyond our compression as fans, but keeping in my this is just a theory and incredibly subjective, this is how I see it:

As I was just saying in this analysis of Lucky Again, there's a running theme in Louis' songs that he always talks about getting lost and running out of energy, looking for something... but I don't think that something is love. I don't think he was looking for someone else or anything along these lines. Louis went through a hard time, I'm not sure exactly what he went through but I'm assuming it was a sum of different feelings like their fame, the oppression of their closeting/sexuality, and then the hiatus was clearly very hard for him followed by tragedies in his personal life. And then eventually he lost it, a little bit. A lot of people who went through a hard time with severe anxiety, and maybe even depression can relate to the feeling of trying to find "something", because you feel lost, you don't know who you are anymore. So he built walls, he shut everyone out (us included). And I think that in Louis' situation shutting Harry out was especially hard for them, adding that to the physical separation because now they were solo artists - also a running theme on their songs. So I mean... I think they went through a very difficult time, and that's just considering Louis' "side", not to mention everything Harry was feeling and his own personal difficulties as well.

I think the turning point - and maybe the answer to your question, anon - was Walls. The album, because I think every single song on that album is an exemplification of that feeling of getting lost and overcoming it, but also the song. The song Walls is about finally getting his walls down because he realised. For every question "why", you were my "because". That's it, he had what he needed right there with him all this time, since they were way too young to even realise how special that was and how easy it was before everything got hard and messy and "before the world had got too serious". So I don't think there's even a discussion whether Harry was "it" for Louis or not, if he was the one or not.... it's about realising Harry was literally everything. Love is healing. This is some soulmate shit, guys.

And I couldn't possibly end this post without mentioning Harry's side of this. Which are Satellite and Adore You, two of the most underrated love declarations of all times. Adore You where he goes on and on about loving and idolizing Louis to a point of not asking anything in return. Just let me adore you. And then Satellite..... oh boy. About just waiting, being patient. Just being there waiting for Louis to realise and finally pull him in again.

[joyfuladorable]

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Surprise, @redstringraven!! Guess who watched a playthrough of Horizon Forbidden West AND the DLC Burning Shores and Then proceeded to reread Pretend that I Never Left and draw Four More DOODLE PAGES!!!! To all the 2k3 Mikey fans out there, this is the fic for you!

[everfascinated]

✲ Rules: shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people.

Thanks for the tag @toomanyacorns​!!

Walking On A Dream - Empire of the Sun

Bleed It Out - Linkin Park

801 - The Aces

Steady, As She Goes - The Raconteurs

10,000 Emerald Pools - Børns

Crabbuckit - Good Lovelies

My Body - Young the Giant

come on come on - almost monday

When The Dreams Run Dry - The Killers

Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins

Tagging: @linklebard​, @eddiethehunted​, @awargoddess​, @vassekocho​, anyone else who wants to do it! Yes, you! Please tag me if you do just so I can see what songs you have :D

[bluastro-yellow]

get it Kim has a lot to unpack do you get it

it's imperfect I'll never polish it just take it as it is