#newbie writer problems

[blushingwife]

Hi. This is my first post! I keep wanting to finally launch into writing something simple, maybe just a prompt in a paragraph. But my anxiety and perfectionism spike. What if it’s trash? You’re not enough to write something that people will care about. Is it really enough if I write just for me? Or am I lying to myself?

I try to give myself grace. Gosh but it’s hard. So hard. Still, maybe one day I will gather enough courage.

[popponn]

if sae, at high school, decided he had enough of soccer and switch into drawing manga he will just become a fucking nozaki

[dapper-lil-arts]

Do you have any unpopular opinions about mlp fim? For instance, "Newbie Dash" is probably my favorite Rainbow Dash episode since I think it's the only episode that actually had her suffer some consequences due to her own hubris.

Oh, I have a few. For one I think Fluttercord as a concept is misogynistic as hell and a huge disservice to Fluttershy's character if not downright fuckin creepy. I used to be neutral on the ship but it's only gotten worse and worse with time. Another is just. I don't think Starlight Glimmer shoulda gotten all that screentime. I like a lot of the eps shes in, especially with Trixie, but I really didn't need her to be permeating through so much, feels like a strange self insert

One more for the road: I think the finale is kind of awful on a thematic and lore level. Like, emotionally wise, they reach all the high notes they could have ever wanted off the show, thats for sure, but like;

1 - I'm ideologically opposed to the idea that Cozy Glow is an irredeemable monster that belongs turned to stone or in tartarus. she's a fucking child and the writers think she's irredeemable. 2 - Generally Chrysalis Cozy and Tyrek are all a weird choice for ultimate trio for final bosses. Any of them have been their own world ending threats, I woulda preffered something new. Hell, I still think the mean 6 or at least anti Twilight coulda been a more interesting finale.

3 - If racism is THAT easy to bring back, then clearly theres an enormous systemic problem with all of the goddamn society, and oh, look at that, bc of g5, canonically we know that Equestria falls, and bc of the comics we know it falls on the lifetimes of the main 6. It's almost genious foreshadowing, how much Twilight's kingdom was built ona house of cards tbh.

4 - Celestia and Luna lose to Cozy Glow. Cozy Glow, a child alicorn, 1 v 2s them. That's unforgivable, insane, really fucking stupid.

5 - If the solution is friendship power, just like it has always fucking been, then why wasn't it the first choice to deal with the fucking problem, at this point the 38 minutes that build up to 'oh shit my friends are my power' feels completely superfluous man. Its lazy

6 - The final problem has that vibe of JKRs 'all was well' thing that glosses over some major damn problems, and well, considering the canon, even when i watched the first time I couldn't help but think I was watching a bunch of naive ass ponies trying to enjoy their final years together before Equestria fell to the damn brink. It's more bitter than sweet. Twilight Sparkle will watch all her friends die of old age hooray...!

[licncourt]

Hello! I'm a newbie to the VC fandom and I realize that some fans have mixed opinions about Anne Rice, some fans like her and her books, but others only like the books but not her. Now the only things I know about the problems some fans had with her is that she hated fanfics writers, some of her writings are very problematic (like sexualizing minors for example) and she didn't take criticism very well, that's all I know. How about you? What do you think about AR?

I do have a post somewhere listing a lot of her controversies that I can’t find rn, but I would say I fall in the mixed feelings camp. Honestly, I’m not sure how you could feel anything else. I will always have a certain amount of admiration for Anne Rice and what she created, very few other authors will ever accomplish what she did. She virtually single-handedly redefined an entire genre with one novel and then revolutionized it again with a second.

I think people forget how groundbreaking IWTV was. Before that, vampires were synonymous with the classic Dracula figure with maybe the Nosferatu film and Carmilla being somewhat known. Vampires who didn’t want to be monsters, vampires who felt a full range of emotions, vampires as sex symbols, vampires who had real lives and relationships, pretty much all of that came from Anne Rice. She gave vampires their humanity and brought them into permanent modern relevancy.

Without her, there would be no Twilight, no Buffy, no Vampire Diaries, no Lost Boys, no True Blood, none of the defining vampire media we have today. The entire archetypes of Tortured Reluctant Vampire, Tragic Child Vampire, and Charming Bad Boy Vampire are her creations, although I would say no one was as successful at crafting these characters as she was. It’s undeniable that IWTV is a top tier modern classic even outside of the vampire genre, it’s a masterwork of Gothic horror and I would argue that TVL is one of the best works of popular fiction out there. It’s not easy to achieve the status and respect that IWTV has garnered in a genre full of historical classics, I’d say only Shirley Jackson and VC Andrews have ever come close.

Anne Rice was, at one point, a true master of her craft, not to mention providing pivotal representation of gay and bisexual characters and relationships before it was even remotely mainstream or beneficial to a creator to do so. She gave us iconic horror media, iconic vampire media, and iconic gay media all in one with the original trilogy. What she did was groundbreaking in multiple ways and changed the course of popular media forever with her talent and insight.

Of course, there are a LOT of issues with Anne Rice, her works and her personally. We know that over the years she was racially insensitive, misogynistic, and somehow even homophobic once in a while. She publicly supported a sex offender, spoke negatively about autistic and mentally ill people, used imperialist rhetoric, and reflected many of those things in her writing. Even in places where it works in the story, we unfortunately know that there was some truth behind it for her. On a personal level, she was known to be spiteful and confrontational at times, even with fans, and was consistently high on the horse about her own success and abilities.

She wasn’t and isn’t a true role model, but she’s an icon and titan of literature for a reason. Anyone who says she just “stumbled into greatness” by accident is wrong. She had something special early on and it’s something uniquely her own. She accomplished feats of character and world building that most authors could only dream of and crafted a story that made a deep impact on the existence of so many people, especially gay people (myself included) at formative times in their lives. I’ve criticized her plenty myself and I think in many ways she squandered the legacy she could have had, but she was the right person at the right time and she created something so much larger than herself. It doesn’t have to be one or the other and I don’t think it should be.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #9281:

About the "your writing is good (you guys are just mean)" meme going around...

If someone is an inexperienced writer, or they're a newbie to writing, or they even simply don't care to put a ton of editing time and research into their writing, their writing is gonna be "bad", or "so-so", or passable. That's just facts. I don't know of a single person who was spinning gold when they first started writing. Mine was awful! I also know people who have been writing fanfic for decades and their writing is still pretty bad, because people have different priorities and a lot of people just don't care about improving their writing. They just wanna get an idea out, and that's what makes them happy.

And I'm gonna be controversial here for a moment. Saying someone's writing is "good", when it clearly isn't good, doesn't help anyone. It doesn't even help the person, because it shields them from reality. What does help them is acknowledging that not all writing is going to be "good", and (I'm yes, anding this) that's okay for a lot of purposes.

It's okay to have bad writing. Not everyone will enjoy it. But some still will. Give! Fanfic! Writers! Permission! To suck!

Obviously, tact is important here. Nobody should just tell someone their writing sucks, especially unsolicited. Compliment sandwiches are a thing, too. But can we stop glossing over things and making it into the boogeyman when it's really okay? Not everything needs to be "good" to have a place in fandom. And you can be encouraging to a writer, and say you liked their writing, without lying to their face by calling it excellent, good, etc.

[uniquexusposts]

Her || Charles Leclerc

Main characters: Charles Leclerc x OC Genre: fanfiction, fluff  Story type: novel  Part: 43/45 Word count: 2375 Co writer: @mistrose23

Story summary: Matilde Jørgensen, the new Scuderia Ferrari team principal, faced the nerve-wracking challenge of reviving the team's fortunes and aiming for a championship. Leading a historic team as a 'newbie' and separating her work and personal opinions posed a significant challenge. The big question: is she capable to do so?

Previous chapter

Chapter 41. Hygge

The high-pitched tone of the alarm shattered the stillness of the early morning. Matilde stirred under the covers, groaning softly as the noise dragged her from her warm sleep cocoon. Her hand shot out instinctively, searching for her phone to silence the offending sound, but it wasn't her phone making the noise.

She sighed and pulled the covers over her head. It was way too early to wake up.

The alarm cut off abruptly, leaving an oppressive silence behind. She heard and felt someone move beside her, but she let that be. After a few seconds, she drifted off again, only to be greeted by another alarm a couple of minutes later. The second alarm blared through the room, more insistent and shrill than the first.

Matilde groaned louder this time, her hand clutching the duvet tighter as if it could shield her from the merciless assault. "Charles," she grumbled, her voice hoarse with sleep. "Why do you need two alarms? Are you trying to kill me?"

A soft chuckle came from beside her, followed by the sound of sheets rustling. Charles reached over, silencing the second alarm with a practiced tap on his phone. "Sorry," he whispered. "I forgot I set two alarms. The first one's to wake up, the second's to make sure I actually get out of bed."

Matilde didn't respond. She simply let out a muffled whimper and curled into herself under the duvet.

"Come on, Mat," he said, gently tugging at the corner of the blanket. This was the first time he saw a grumpy morning person in Matilde. But perhaps it was because of the lack of sleep. "You need to get up, too."

"I don't care," she mumbled, her voice barely audible. Then she removed the covers from her face, looking at him with squinted eyes. "Morning," she mumbled.

"Good morning." His smile widened as he watched Matilde's groggy expression slowly shift into something resembling awareness. She squinted at him, her messy hair falling over her face, and he couldn't help but laugh softly.

"What's so funny?" she mumbled, her voice muffled as she turned her face into the pillow.

"You," he teased, brushing a strand of hair away from her cheek. "You're not exactly a morning person, are you?"

"Not when someone sets a thousand alarms," she grumbled, though there was no real bite in her tone. "What's your problem? Do you have stock in alarm companies or something?"

Charles laughed, his warm breath fanning over her skin as he leaned closer. "Maybe I just wanted to spend more time with you this morning."

Matilde peeked one eye open at him, her lips twitching into a faint smile despite her best efforts to stay grumpy. "Smooth," she muttered, but she shifted closer, resting her head on his chest.

He wrapped an arm around her, his hand trailing lazily up and down her back. "See? Not so bad being awake, is it?"

"Debatable," she mumbled, her voice already sounding drowsy again.

They stayed like that for a while, the world outside their little bubble forgotten. The steady rhythm of Charles's breathing, the warmth of his hand on her back, and the softness of the moment made it hard to care about anything else.

Eventually, Matilde tilted her head up to look at him, her sleepy gaze meeting his. "You know," she said, her voice low, "if you want me to get up, this isn't helping."

"Then, let's get up," he said, which made her nod. He planted a kiss on her hair. "Ready for today?" They both got up and stepped out of bed.

"No," she honestly shared and made a bun in her hair. "Fuck, it's race day." The realisation hit her. "The last race of the season." A rush of nerves flushed through her veins.

"Uhu."

They gazed into each other's eyes, standing at the opposite sides of the bed, both not sure what to expect today. At the end of today, they were either World Champions or losers. It was now or never. A smile grew on Matilde's face, making Charles smile too, turning their smiles into a laugh. Neither could believe what was happening, what had happened.

"Alright, I will see you at the track," she finally said. "But, erm, no random glances or anything else, okay?"

His eyebrows raised; of course, he knew how to behave after last night.

"People observe, people know."

"Who?"

"Way too many than I would like," she replied, waving off the question. The way her words stumbled just slightly revealed more than she intended. "Just... keep everything to yourself, okay?"

Charles nodded, his smile softening as he took in her guarded expression. She was always composed, always ahead of the game, but here, in this quiet moment, she seemed just a little undone. "You don't have to worry about me," he said gently. "I know the stakes."

Her exhale was slow, her shoulders relaxing like she had just allowed herself a rare moment to trust someone else. "Good," she murmured, almost to herself.

But then, her walls came back up. "Don't be afraid," he said, his voice steady, trying to reach her through the barrier she had carefully constructed.

She hesitated, her eyes flicking to his before dropping to the floor. "Well," she admitted, her voice quieter now, "I'm afraid of falling in love, okay? You make me feel like I'm on top of the world, and that's a very long way to fall." She said it quickly, like ripping off a bandage, but her eyes betrayed the fear she carried; fear of what he made her feel, of how much she wanted to believe in it.

Charles didn't hesitate. He stepped toward her, his presence steady and grounding. Gently, he cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. "It will be alright," he promised, his tone soft but resolute. "You've got this."

Then he kissed her.

Oh shit.

It wasn't hurried or desperate; it was deliberate and full of reassurance. A silent reminder that, no matter how high the fall, he would be there to catch her. The thought crashed through her mind as she melted into the kiss, the gravity of everything hitting her all at once.

She pulled back and rested her forehead against his.

"Good luck out there," he whispered confidently.

"You too. Just... Don't mess up." Quickly, she regretted her words. When being insecure, she would act so dickish. But she didn't mean it like that.

Charles smirked. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

Luckily, he could accept it as he was on the same level as her. She stepped away from him and walked towards the door. He walked right behind her, letting her out. They shared one last look, and she left the room.

As she walked back to her room, the faint sound of her footsteps echoed down the quiet hallway. It was just then when she realised she could bump into someone, or that someone could see her leaving Charles' room. But luckily, none of that happened.

She felt the lingering warmth of Charles's touch on her face, the imprint of his kiss still fresh on her lips. But this time, instead of second-guessing herself or letting doubt creep in, she straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. She also deserved happiness and love. She had no regrets about last night, no hesitation about what it meant. If anything, it made her more certain. Matilde wasn't just in control of her career or the people around her; she was in control of herself, her decisions, and how she faced the challenges ahead.

Reaching her room, she paused at the door, her fingers brushing against the handle. A small, confident smile tugged at her lips. She wasn't just Matilde Jørgensen, the team principal. She was the woman who had built something extraordinary in the world of motorsport, the one who had proven time and time again that she belonged exactly where she was. And today, she would do it again.

No hesitation. No fear.

Let's do this.

The day was hers to command, and she was more than ready to claim it.

--

Matilde looked at herself in the mirror when she stood in the lift of the hotel. For the first time since... probably in high school, she was too lazy to do her hair. She had to wash her hair last night, which she did, but she never bothered to blow dry it and turn it into her signature blowout. To her surprise, her curls turned out pretty good, and if it was on anyone else's head, it would look good. But she hated how it looked with her face. She even tried to put it up, but she hated that more. Now, she was taking the top part of her hair and putting it in a clip at the back of her head, letting some front pieces out to frame her face. Still not satisfied, she figured this was the best she could and would do.

The lift doors slit open and she walked to the reception area, where she would meet up with Lars, Jens, her father, her mother, her stepfather and step siblings, to talk to the track. When she made eye contact with them and showed a small, uncomfortable smile, she noticed how the faces of her family lit up. They hadn't seen Matilde with curly hair for over ten years. Well, her dad and Jens did, back in England, but that was only inside the cottage. 

"Your curls," her mother smiled and gently touched them when her daughter stood next to her. "It looks stunning on you."

"Thanks," Matilde mumbled in return.

"I never knew that they still existed anymore," Lars playfully said.

Jens let out a small chuckle. "I did. But only because she was too lazy to do her hair in England." He winked at his little sister.

Matilde rolled her eyes, but there was no real annoyance behind it. "And you still knew how to do it."

"What? You did Mattie's hair? Like the blow out?" Lars asked and raised his eyebrows.

"No, the curly thing."

More eyebrows raised. "And you did it... like good?"

Jens proudly nodded. "I mean, I've seen all the tantrums she showed when she was younger. It's not easy to forget that. That routine is engraved into my head. Julia and Tessa also have curly hair." His girlfriend and her daughter. "So I am keeping up to date with the routines."

"True," Lars smirked.

Her mother kept smiling, her eyes scanning her daughter like she was seeing a version of herself she hadn't seen in years. "It suits you," she said softly. "You should wear it like this more often."

Matilde shrugged, adjusting the clip at the back of her head. "We will see." Despite her initial discomfort, the warmth in her family's reaction made her feel lighter. They weren't just surprised; they were happy. And maybe, just maybe, she could get used to this version of herself too. "Where's Ottie?"

"Playing with Laura. They will come later," Lars replied, mentioning his wife and daughter would join Louise, Kevin's wife, later this day.

"Alright," she replied, nodding. Let's go then." She took a deep breath. "When I come back to the hotel, I either am a loser or a winner."

Jens slung an arm around her shoulders as they started walking. "No matter what happens, you know you're not a loser, right?"

Matilde smirked. "Tell that to the standings."

Their father sighed but smiled knowingly. "You know what he means."

She did. And for once, she didn't let the weight of the day crush her. Instead, she straightened her back, lifted her chin, and walked with purpose. She had spent too long second-guessing herself, too long worrying about what could go wrong. Not today.

"Alright, let's get this over with," she said, confidence lacing her voice as they stepped outside.

As they approached the track, Matilde warned her brothers for one thing: "Oh, a reminder: there are women who have a massive crush on you." Her brothers began to laugh. "So be aware of that. After Monza, I heard a lot of girls crushing over you at the office. They don't know I know, but I know," she smirked.

Lars and Jens exchanged amused glances before Jens smirked. "Monza, huh? And what exactly did they say?"

Matilde grinned, loving that she had the upper hand for once. "Something about the 'Scandinavian charm' and 'rugged, effortless attractiveness.'" She made a show of rolling her eyes. "It was nauseating. But, here it comes, the men are terrified of you."

Jens stopped walking, burst out laughing and clapped in his hands. "Was it because of the mechanic who dropped the tyre in Monza?"

Everyone stopped walking, listening to Jens, Lars and Matilde's laugh and muffled murmurs to each other. It made the others laugh as well, just because they were laughing and having fun. Their father pulled out his phone and took a photo of them. He looked at his ex-wife, the mother of his children, who shared the same proud look.

The relationship between their kids had ups and many downs, they faced their struggles together and on their own. But this year, something had changed. Technically, they lived further away from each other than the years before, then ever, but they were closer than they had ever been. It was like they found each other again and supported each other through everything, even though they were not even living close to each other. As a mother and father, this made them proud and happy.

"So, don't judge them, okay? They have enough stress to deal with. Having judging people in the garage doesn't help them," Matilde reminded them.

"I can't change my face, Matilly," Jens widely smiled.

"Try. Just try."

"We will see. If they fuck it up, they will know it," Lars nodded and padded Matilde's shoulder.

She rolled her eyes, but a smirk played on her lips. "Yeah, yeah, just don't scare them off completely. I need them to at least make it through the race without fearing for their lives."

Jens grinned. "Never say never."

He looked at Lars and gave him a small nod. Their plan had already succeeded, and it was still early in the day. They knew how nervous their sister was, so they wanted to keep her distracted. With the right brother jokes, they thought it would work. But the stupid Monza stare began it all.

Next chapter

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @crashingwavesofeuphoria @maryvibess @ironmaiden1313 @sltwins @heart-trees @npcmia @llando4norris

[pedge-page]

I tend to stay quiet about these things because quite frankly I'd blow my lid off and melt the world around me with my fury but.

It amazes me that people can come on here and have the option to be kind to others and leave an incredibly positive impact on people they interact with, and feel good about themselves for it, but choose to be insufferable shitheads who want to bring everyone else down so they feel as miserable and angry too instead. This isn't math class. Two negatives do not equal positive.

For any newbies , we've lost some of the most talented and inspiring writers in this Fandom thanks to these trolls. The same trolls who have been here for less than 2 minutes are the ones who whine about why there isn't enough content coming out fast enough for their enjoyment.

When we say "18+ only" that also applies to people who use their adult brains. If you can't handle that a properly tagged fic that has explicit warnings about its content is stuff you won't like, the mature thing to do is just shut up and move on. When you start to become you own gestopo trying to police other people's FICTIONAL work that had nothing to do with you in the name of purity censorship rather than just moving on with your own life, you've lost all credibility of calling yourself an "adult". Idc how old you are. You're not ready for the internet. You're not ready to be reading fan FICTION. You're not ready to interact with other adults.

If you spent half as much energy doing this level of "activism" in the real world where REAL people are being hurt , you wouldn't have time to be responding to a million messages applauding or condemning you about your take on FICTIONAL. WRITING. You'd actually be doing something useful with your life. But alas, harassing writers is all you're good for.

You are not the hero you so desperately want to think you are.

And folks, if you're going "hey I'm not harassing anyone!" Ask yourself if you've left a racist, homophonic, transphobic, ableist, elitist, narcissistic anon in someone's box. If you meet one of those boxes, guess what! You're the problem !

The internet is going to be filed with things you don't like. It always has. It always will. But guess what? This is gonna be real shocker for some of you:

YOU ARE RESPONSBILE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME, ESPECIALLY AS AN ADULT.

YOU ARE RESPONSBILE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME, ESPECIALLY AS AN ADULT.

YOU ARE RESPONSBILE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME ESPECIALLY AS AN ADULT.

You picking and choosing what is and isn't ok IN FAN FICTION makes you look stupid. Like I can't tell you how fucking moronically hypocritical some of you are. It has to be a joke.

So if you aren't going to be the adult, and choose to go make a stupid ask to let someone know you don't like their thoughts, don't do it on anon. If you believe in yourself and aren't afraid of your morals, say it with your chest and your profile. Let us be the adults and block you so you don't have to see our content, and we don't have to deal with illiterate kids trying to interact with us anymore.

OR

YOU COULD TAKE OPTION #1 : YOUR VERY OWN LUXURIOUS "BE THE ADULT FIRST" PACKAGE! IT COMES WITH THE INCREDIBLE FEATURE OF "BLOCK THE CONTENT THAT GIVES YOU THE ICK WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING AT ALL"!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT !?!?!? ITS ALL YOURS all YOU have to do is click 2 buttons! It's sooooo much easier, pain free, and mental and emotionally freeing to just do that instead of typing out some horseshit post or ask and then dealing with everyone on your ass! The added bonus of nobody being on your ass! Did I mention the great feeling you have about not seeing that content anymore! AND as a special thank, we're offering "guilt free conscious" just especially for you! So you can go about your day not thinking about it anymore! No muss no fuss. It's easy!

[teleit]

Who would be the best ruler of Westeros? Me, I have the desire to do good deeds, even when others beg for mercy

Jokes aside, but really - who? The show actively tells me that Rhaenyra is the only possible option, because this woman glows in the dark from all the blessings received from every god in existence and shits wisdom and greatness.

But is she? Let's hear my useless opinion.

First, where are we looking - at canon (the book), or at the screened fanfic (the show)?

In terms of canon, I think Jacaerys was the best option, but only because the other candidates were complete failures. The way Martin described this boy, even through the lens of the biased Black and Green sources, sounds promising. Yes, 90% of his decisions ended up being failures - he suggested recruiting more dragonriders from dragon seeds, and got Hugh and Ulf; he suggested sending Aegon III and Viserys to Pentos, and they were captured by the Triarchy; he went to rescue his brothers with a bunch of newbies who could barely stay on their dragons, and he ended up getting killed.

If it weren't for the circumstances of his birth, which would inevitably lead to a rebellion by the lords outraged by a bastard on the throne, Jacaerys might have been a good king. He just needed time to grow up.

But on the show? No one. No one at all. None of these people, they are all absolutely terrible.

Rhaenyra? That woman wouldn't know the word "responsibility" if it ambushed her in a parking lot and beat the crap out of her. She doesn't understand what ruling is even twenty years after being named heir, and she asks helplessly "what should I do?", wringing her hands at every difficulty. She does one stupid thing after another, driven by anything but common sense. If she were queen, we'd have another crisis in ten years or so.

Daemon? Lmao. No. That dude lived, fucked and died for shits and giggles, he can't be trusted with snow in the winter.

Jacaerys? That's the boy who solves problems with violence (pulling out a dagger when insulted, punching his uncle in the face when insulted, need I go on?), and loses every fight he starts. He doesn't speak Valyrian, constantly whines and cries to his fiancée and mother that he doesn't know what to do or how to be, and is practically useless during wartime (because his smart decisions were given to Rhaenyra, but that's another story).

Lucerys? Yeah, sure, how can you forget how he handled himself so perfectly at dinner when he should have just kept his mouth shut, but instead he decided that laughing at the crazy uncle he maimed and never apologized for was the height of comedy, better only fart jokes. That boy had one brain cell, and it was on permanent sick leave for the entire season.

Rhaenys? A woman who talks about the slavery of the patriarchy and submits to the decisions of her ambitious to the point of stupidity husband. Marrying her little daughter to her forty year old cousin? Why not. Losing two children because of Rhaenyra and Daemon, and continuing to serve their interests, even though they use her as they please, because Corlys hopes that someday it will pay off? Excellent solution, let's also scold husband for not loving his own bastards enough, and then die ingloriously and uselessly. Yes, the queen we deserve, Rhaenys the Spineless.

Aegon? He can only be a good king if a miracle happens and he stops listening to the idiots around him, gets rid of his mommy and daddy issues, and starts using his head for more than just pouring wine into mouth. Which won't happen, because the writers HATE this man. He'll be pathetic and useless, and then he'll die, because gods forbid there should be an equal fight between a woman and a man for the throne, a woman needs to kick a body sprawled on the ground, disarmed and incapacitated, so that everyone understands that she is superior to him in everything.

Aemond? Season 1 - maybe after a couple of years of therapy, Season 2 - no, he literally doesn't have a single thought in his head except "blood revenge hate aaarrrgghhh", and only occasionally do we see glimpses of a complex character, thanks to Ewan's insane talent.

Helaena? Poor girl, who was just like Aemond crippled by the script so much that even Martin couldn't stand it (Helaena will die just because, for no reason… wow, such deep character development…), give her her bugs and leave her alone.

In canon, the dance of the dragons is the result of well-intentioned stupidity of several generations, in the show - a parable of why incest is bad, just look at how much the mental capacity of people whose family tree looks like a wreath has suffered.

Ps. Still not native speaker and dgaf about mistakes, english can suck my imaginary dick

[talkingbl]

Thai BL Companies: A Brief Guide

My guide to the major Thai BL companies for the BL newbie. I've not included defunct companies (Nadao Bangkok, Studio Wabi Sabi), companies that produce BLs but don't sign actors or companies I'm not as familiar with (Copy A Bangkok, Dee Hup House, iQiyi).

Be On Cloud (BOC)

Production Value: A- | Talent: B+ | Story Variety: C | Writing: B

Notable Series: KinnPorsche (2022), The Hidden Character (2023 Reality TV Series), Dead Friend Forever (2023), 4Minutes (2024)

Notable Actors: Apo Nattawin, Bas Asavapatr, Bible Wichapas, Fuaiz Thanawat, Jes Jespipat, Mile Phakphum

My Thoughts: As a heads up, I did not finish Dead Friend Forever ("DFF"), so please take this into account when reading my thoughts below.

BOC is the place to go for decently high production values, heavier themes, and acting that's a slight cut above the rest. BOC will bring lots of action and sex, with stories that tend to explore the more base sides of humanity.

The company's flagship series, KinnPorsche, is often cited as a good starting point into Thai BL for the average joe, however, I actually think 4Minutes is a better starting point as it takes all of the better qualities of BOC and leaves out the camp you get with KinnPorsche, which I believe is more of an acquired taste for folks who are new to Thai BL. I also think that KinnPorsche, while decent for a first production for a company, has lots of questionable directing/acting/and even writing choices that are largely eliminated in 4Minutes.

To me, the biggest issue for BOC from an artistic standpoint is the way some of their series tend to meander for awhile before getting to the point. KinnPorsche suffers from this in the middle of the series, and DFF also has this problem after the first 2 or 3 episodes. 4Minutes has sort of the opposite problem where it moves a little too quickly because of its short 8-episode run. Still, BOC's storytelling is made more interesting because of the subject matter of its series (KinnPorsche's mafia-bodyguard trope, DFF's...whatever the fuck they were doing in that scary ass show..., 4Minutes' psychological-sci-fi thriller elements).

Business-wise, BOC is a bit controversial to say the least. Their talent pool has been a bit of a mess what with Build Jakapan being forced out after being outed as the worst type of asshole and Barcode Tinnasit leaving for somewhat mysterious reasons, some of the company's key writers and producers turning out to be on a constant power trip, and even controversies surrounding the talent that haven't even had their first roles yet.

Additionally, their promotion tactics have likewise been polarizing. While they don't go full-throttle with their shipped-pair promotions, they do put on these elaborate events complete with fansigns, meet and greets, actor performances, etc. At first, it was a little flimsy (KinnPorsche cast humping the air and singing offkey in front of thousands of people), but I do think it's improving (4Minutes cast actually getting into character to perform songs (still offkey) like a stage musical of sorts, instead of singing/dancing as themselves). So, if you're wanting to get into Thai BL fandom culture, I'd say BOC has more opportunities for you to be part of that community in a way that doesn't ship you straight into delulu land.

Lastly, while I think BOC has a bright future ahead given the success of literally everything they do, I feel like a lot will ride on if they're able to keep Jes Jespipat (who was a known actor in the Thai lakorn scene before joining BOC) and attract more big-name talent. Barcode jumping over to GMMTV after alluding that he didn't want to be signed to a company again after leaving BOC is a bit of a bad look to me and I can imagine other industry talent is keeping an eye on things like that.

Change2561 (Change)

Production Value: C | Talent: C | Story Variety: B- | Writing: C

Notable Series: PitBabe (2023), This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (2024)

Notable Actors: Nut Supanut, Pavel Naret, Pooh Krittin, Pon Thanapon, Sailub Hemmawich

My Thoughts: Before you read the below, I've only watched about half of PitBabe and clips of This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans ("TLDHLB"), so many of my thoughts are colored by brief experiences.

Change is one of the newer companies to pop up on the Thai Queer Love scene. So far, their productions have been received relatively well and their upcoming series have garnered overwhelming support. Because Change is so new and both of their leading BL productions are so different, it's difficult to really point in the direction of a true identity. That said, there is an inkling that Change will be more of a novel adaptation company rather than an original content company. Additionally, Change has adapted/is adapting books that have hooks to them (Pitbabe with the omegaverse theme, their upcoming series The Most Beautiful Count and its strong identity/politics themes, etc.).

I can't really recommend a series for Change since I haven't finished the ones I've started from the company. I do think that Pitbabe is much riskier than TLDHLB, given that it does have an omegaverse element and it switches the typical seme/uke dynamic on its head.

Artistically, Change's direction looks promising, but I do warn that, likely because the company is so new, the talent pool is a bit shallow (same few actors star in each series) and the production quality varies drastically from work to work.

Business-wise, Change seems to be doing the typical Thai BL promotion tactics of fansigns, brand events, and social media fanservice, with their pairs having slightly more distance between them than shipped pairs from other companies.

Overall, I think if Change delivers on the lineup it announced in 2024, it has the potential to shake up the top players in the industry.

Domundi/Mandee (DMD)

Production Value: B+ | Talent: C | Story Variety: B | Writing: C

Notable Series: Why R U? (2020), Cutie Pie (2022), DMD Friendship The Reality (2023-, Reality TV Series), Bed Friend (2023), Your Sky (2024)

Notable Actors: Kong Kongpob, Max Kornthas, Nat Natasit, Nunew Chawarin, Thomas Teetut, Zee Pruk

My Thoughts: Warning that I have never finished a DMD show lmao (but Your Sky looks promising).

Ah, DMD...the long-touted GMMTV dethroner. DMD is a go-to for slice-of-life series that have NC elements but not at the level of BOC. Most of the series produced at DMD are straight up romantic comedies with no other themes explored at all. But within the romantic comedy genre, DMD series explore many common romance tropes (Cutie Pie with arranged marriage trope, Bed Friend with enemies to lovers trope, Your Sky with fake dating trope, etc.). Even with its upcoming series like The Next Prince and Love Upon A Time, we're getting a european royalty AU and period piece. It's truly like if AO3 had its own BL production company.

The company's flagship series is probably Cutie Pie. Though some might argue Why R U? put DMD/Mandee on the map (a la SOTUS and GMMTV). But, really, Cutie Pie was like the 2gether of DMD. It launched the company and its shipped pair, ZeeNunew, into the GMMTV-competitor conversation. That said, Your Sky is the best show I've seen from DMD and it's not even finished yet lol.

Artistically, DMD suffers from incoherent storytelling and mid-acting syndrome. Like Cutie Pie started off okay but I couldn't move past the terribly uninspired acting and all over the place plot. That said, a lot of their actors fit perfectly into established character tropes (tall/older confident and masculine seme/top, shorter/younger shy and feminine uke/bottom), which I think is a huge draw for lots of people. This is not something that affects my viewing experience, however, so I don't count this as a plus.

Business-wise DMD is a shipper's paradise. A lot of the shipped pairs act like real couples even outside of their shows, with some even being suspected of actually dating. They have all the typical shipped pair events but combine it with content out of the ass of the actors flirting, etc. DMD actors seem to have a much more international reach than, say, Idol Factory actors. While both have similar outreach in Asia, I think DMD tries to get their actors and works in western markets, which is a huge plus for western BL newbies. Additionally, DMD actors tend to not really be actors... I mean, they act, but most of them actually want to sing (and some can). This means that shipped couple birthday events are just concerts, fansigns are just concerts, extra video content is just music videos, etc. So, you will not run out of opportunities to see your favorite actors in the flesh in a manner that's (arguably) worth the money if you go down the DMD actor stan rabbithole.

Still, DMD is slightly controversial with allegations of sexism from its actors (stemming from a video released some years ago) and inappropriate pairings. With the rising conversations surrounding age gaps in pairings lately, DMD has come under fire for MaxNat in particular. For those who don't know, Max and Nat have been paired together since Nat was 17 (Max was 26 at that time). Though they were first paired before joining DMD, so most of their critics don't call out DMD for that. Still, some feel that even though Nat is now 22, DMD is wrong for keeping him in a pair with an actor 9 years his senior. The conversation is similar with ZeeNunew. Zee has been under particular scrutiny because of a comment he made about wanting to be paired with Nunew since Nunew first joined DMD at age 19 (Zee would've been 28 at the time).

Personally, I think DMD can't be blamed from MaxNat's pairing before they joined DMD. I also don't think it was necessarily wrong to keep them paired after they joined since, by then, Nat was a grown man. While MaxNat are not my cup of tea, at this point, Nat is 22, and I'm not in the business of trying to tell a grown man what to do with his career. Same with ZeeNunew. I like Nunew a lot and feel he is one of the most talented singers who also acts in BLs. But I never felt like he was showing signs of being exploited. At this point, as long as Nat and Nunew feel safe, that's all that matters to me. Additionally, new DMD pairings do not have these problems, so it's hard for me to call it a company issue.

Ultimately, DMD will likely continue to be successful for as long as ZeeNunew have stans lmao. But, on a serious note, I think the smartest thing this company ever did was DMD Friendship The Reality because it was a great way to introduce fans to new acting talent, build fanbases for the shipped pairs that came out of the show, and get money in the process. Now, ZeeNunew and MaxNat have pairs like ThomasKong and KengNamping who have skyrocketed in popularity to pass the torch to.

GMMTV

Production Value: B- | Talent: B+ | Story Variety: A | Writing: B-

Notable Series: SOTUS (2016), The Gifted (2018), Dark Blue Kiss (2019), Theory of Love (2019), 2gether (2020), A Tale of a Thousand Stars (2021), Not Me (2021), Bad Buddy (2021), My School President (2022), Only Friends (2023), High School Frenemy (2024)

Notable Actors: Barcode Tinnasit, Est Supha, First Kanaphan, Fourth Nattawat, Gun Atthaphan, Inn Sarin, Jennie Panhan, Krist Perawat, Mark Pakin, Mix Sahaphap, Nani Hirunkit, Ohm Pawat, Perth Thanapon, Sky Wongravee, Tay Tawan, Tu Tontawan, William Jakarapatr, Win Metawin

My Thoughts: GMMTV is probably the most prolific production company in Thailand when it comes to producing BL series. They have the most series, the most actors, the most events, the most money, etc. The company's identity is rooted in the schoolboy BL. Regardless of if we're talking high school boys or university men, get used to Thai uniforms if you're going to watch damn near any GMMTV BL produced before 2021, thanks to the SOTUS effect. It's not until the company enters the BL stratosphere in 2020 that we start getting a significant uptick in BLs that don't revolve around doing everything in a school building except learning.

Beyond the school settings, GMMTV is known for romantic comedies, slice of life stories, camp elements, terrible audio quality, empty sets, and 'we definitely shot this on a $2 budget' aesthetics. In fact, it wasn't until about 2021 that GMMTV production quality shot up after the explosion in popularity of 2gether. Suddenly, post-2020, Never Let Me Go was being shot in 4K, ThamePo had boom mics that worked and not just wireless mics that brushed up against the actors' clothes and picked up every sound but the actors' voices, and Sky Wongravee was signing to this broke ass company!!! And at this point, GMMTV's identity is less in its art and more in its business.

But first, the art. GMMTV, by far, has the most variety in its BL lineup. And while they don't push the envelope as much as, say, BOC, they're starting to add in mature themes at a reasonable pace. GMMTV's talent pool has shifted dramatically with so many basement dwellers leaving and very well-known actors signing (Sky, Barcode, Boun, Prem, etc.). This means that while you will occasionally see some of the most struggle acting you've ever seen from Dunk Natachai (love u, Dunk), you will see some of the most moving performances from your Gun Atthaphans. It's honestly a somewhat strange thing to experience in real-time.

Additionally, GMMTV's stories are largely adaptations of popular Thai and Japanese works (think SOTUS, Cherry Magic TH, etc.). But occasionally you will get original series that hit just right (Moonlight Chicken).

Artistically, the biggest issues with GMMTV include the weakest actors getting the most work and the most interesting stories, the inconsistent production quality, the clear favoritism, the focus on money over art, the way many of the most popular pairs clearly hate kissing boys lmfao, and, most starkly, the episode 5 drop off.

The episode 5 drop off is a series KILLER. What this refers to is how GMMTV series are almost always good, sometimes even GREAT for the first 4ish episodes. But by the time episode 5/6 comes around (or whenever the couple actually gets together in the series), we go from really good storytelling to leaning on the shittiest cliches you can imagine, the characters becoming straight up stupid, or random things happening for literally no reason with no context at all and a resolution that comes out of actual nowhere. Like there will legit be episodes of a series where one of our leading men gets shot or hit by a car or whatever, his boyfriend is like super scared and worried he's going to die and it's this big traumatic event. No less than 15 minutes later and it's like nothing happened. The shooting/car accident was literally just there to artificially raise the stakes and waste your damn time. This happens in almost EVERY GMMTV BL. Either that or the characters fake-out kiss like 30 times after they get together until there's 2 minutes left in the season finale when they finally kiss.

Regarding the other points, for example, the company treats Gen 2 (in particular, JoongDunk, PondPhuwin, ForceBook) like they are untouchable gods despite most of the talent residing with the pillars, company-switchers, het series actors, and even Gen 3 actors. Don't get me wrong, I understand those 3 pairs are stan attractors, but I feel like GMMTV is not taken super seriously as a company because the actors in these pairs get like 2-3 series per year while some of the company's best actors don't see the light of day.

Business-wise, if you're a kpop or jpop fan or otherwise into idol culture, GMMTV is probably the most comfortable transition for you. GMMTV treats its "artists" like idols (complete with "triple threat" allegations (LMFAO)); every actor getting their own song that they also struggle to dance to; every pair getting their own official mascot, logo, fandom name, and lightstick; concerts; shipped pair reality shows; etc. Hell, even the non-BL pairs get some of these things so long as they look good together and have chemistry (looking at you, Sky-Nani imina). It's like a fanservice paradise over there (except it's not billed as the pairs are actually dating, but that they're all in the will they-won't they, phi-nong, more than friends but less than lovers, stage). And if you pay close enough attention to the GMMTV pairs, you will notice common trends of how they interact/promote that will quickly unravel any delulu thoughts that you might have at the outset of seeing them together.

But to me, the best parts about GMMTV's business strategy, however, are their international focus and the novelty in their company promotions.

As for their international focus, most of their content is freely available on YouTube and subbed in English. Many of their artists are bilingual. And they're starting to produce events overseas at a high clip (e.g., TayNew recently in Rome, JimmySea in LA last year, GMMTV Fan Fest 2025 in Japan, etc.).

Novelty-wise, they've got several things going for them. They're the ones that started the annual lineup shows where they drop trailers for series coming out in the next year, have performances from their in-house T-Pop groups, and interview the casts and crews of upcoming series. They also have unique events like GMMTV Starlympics (if you're a kpop fan, it's like ISAC but only one company's idols participate against each other and there's musical performances), and GMMTV Company Outing (which is their annual company trip and isn't officially televised, but the artists and their managers always upload videos in real time of the shenanigans that occur at these outings). GMMTV even spearheaded the shipped-pair variety show content mill with mainstay pairs getting their own shows themed after either the actors' names (think EarthMix Space) or their interests (think TayNew Meal Date). These are all pioneering promotional tactics that make GMMTV series and shipped pairs even more entertaining.

Besides the money-making genius at GMMTV, however, there have been so many scandals with this company's actors it's hard to keep track. Everything from misogyny allegations, to homophobia, to people criticizing them for largely platforming straight-presenting (?) actors over out actors, to racism, to abuse (Pawin Thanik, Foei Pattara), to inappropriate behavior with children (think Prom Teepakron), etc.

Despite the scandals above, GMMTV is going nowhere. Having so many artists signed to one company, content where there's something for everyone, and an international focus with a parasocial lens is helping GMMTV maintain its status as the premier producer of BL content in Thailand.

Idol Factory (IDF)

Production Value: A- | Talent: B- | Story Variety: B- | Writing: B

Notable Series: Secret Crush on You (2022), GAP (2022), The Sign (2024)

Notable Actors: Babe Tanatat, Becky Rebecca, Freen Sarocha

My Thoughts: Disclaimer: I've only watched Secret Crush on You (SCOY) from Idol Factory.

IDF is the first company to be spearheaded by a former BL actor (Saint Suppapong). It's a newer company with an uncertain identity as of yet (though, I'd say that they're wanting to be known as an all-things queer love (QL) company rather than one focused on BLs or het dramas).

I don't have much to say about IDF artistically except that it's being well-received by BL audiences. Most of the people who like their dramas like the chemistry between the shipped pairs as well as how seriously the company takes queer stories. At IDF, you'll not only find BLs and GLs, but also stories involving trans characters seeking acceptance (see SCOY), for example.

Business-wise, there's a risk here. While the pairs in these shows are lauded for their chemistry, there's not a lot of variety and some pairs have been entrenched in controversy regarding their offscreen activities. Personally, I don't agree with all the folks making a big deal out of some of the actors dating each other in heterosexual relationships. I just hope it doesn't affect IDF's ability to thrive as a company since they're one of the few taking real chances in their content. Additionally, it's not lost on me that more of their stans hate the fact that the actors are in straight relationships than the fact that Billy Patchanon (leading man in The Sign and SCOY) unabashedly said the n-word...

I think that if IDF can expand its talent pool, it'll continue to find success in the BL world.

Jinloe

Production Value: F | Talent: C | Story Variety: D | Writing: F

Notable Series: Hit, Bite, Love (2023), Addicted Heroin TH (2024)

Notable Actors: August Vachiravit, Jur Vasin, Newyear Nawaphat

My Thoughts: Didn't watch Hit, Bite, Love (HBL) (actually dropped the trailer like 2 seconds in lmao) nor did I have any interest in Addicted Heroin TH (though I've seen many clips on the internet).

Jinloe should probably close and all its actors sign to Tia51. Their company identity is making people as uncomfortable as humanly possible by casting children to do questionable things on TV. I don't think that company is a safe place for kids and I think the content they produce is targeted toward...a specific kind of reprehensible person. If you want to see what I mean, just take a gander at the MDL pages for HBL and Addicted Heroin TH.

I can't really speak on their art because I don't watch their shows.

Business-wise, they seem to make dumb decision after dumb decision. From casting a 15 year old to play the love interest of a 27 year old, to NC scenes involving minors, to not even attempting to build out their repertoire of dramas, this company has no vision nor any direction. They're trying to market NewyearJur as a shipped pair with music videos together and social media posts (since those two are the only ones who seemingly have age-appropriate interactions in Jinloe series), but it's all failing miserably since: 1) people familiar with Jinloe's shady business run when they see that name; 2) neither Jur nor Newyear are particularly talented in a sea of similarly-aged actors actually showing potential; and 3) neither Jur nor Newyear have the clout of others in their age range since they started with Jinloe (as opposed to, say, Mick Metas at GMMTV who got clout from being related to Win Metawin).

Jinloe will probably be the next company to close but I also don't doubt that creeps will keep them open.

MeMindY

Production Value: D | Talent: C | Story Variety: D- | Writing: D

Notable Series: Love By Chance (2018), TharnType (2019), Don't Say No (2021), Love In The Air (2022), Love Sea (2024)

Notable Actors: Boss Chaikamon, Fort Thitipong, Noeul Nuttarat, Peat Wasuthorn

My Thoughts: MeMindY is known for its CEO (?), Mame. Anyone who is familiar with Mame's work knows they're going to get dicey romance stories often centering around university students with at least one scene of romanticized abuse for good measure. Now, I do think the abuse stuff is changing (Love In The Air (LITA) didn't really have any of that), but I can understand why MeMindY has that reputation. Either way, every MeMindY show will have engineering/med school/architecture/some other type of professional school students, actors folks consider conventionally attractive, reluctant bottoms that don't know they're gay, somewhat aggressive tops who are always physically bigger than the bottoms, strict heteronormative dynamics, and sometimes literally insane plot elements (like the Tor plotline that came up in TharnType (TTTS))...

Artistically, MeMindY needs to take a step away from university BLs. While TTTS and LITA kept my interest for a bit, I do think Don't Say No (DSN) felt a bit stale. But I'd say it's likely because DSN didn't have the best acting and its episodic structure made it difficult for me to connect with the underlying story. Particularly, the episodic structure in DSN didn't work as well as it does in GMMTV's ThamePo. Still, I appreciate the fact that MeMindY picks actors that do not seem bothered at all about kissing and portraying sex with other men. It's what makes MeMindY series more dynamic than series from other companies despite the laundry list of issues they tend to have.

Business-wise, MeMindY leans HEAVILY into the shipped-pair dynamic. It's less commercial than GMMTV and, these days, less 'we're actually dating' than DMD, but somehow it comes off as just as in-your-face as DMD and GMMTV. I'd even say that I consider MeMindY a peer company to DMD and GMMTV based on the popularity of its shipped pairs alone. Like MewGulf (RIP), BossNoeul, and FortPeat are all booked and busy. MewGulf did for Mew Suppasit and Gulf Kanawut what BrightWin did for Bright Vachirawit and Win Metawin. Mew and Gulf never have to act in BLs ever again to have success and can solely focus on their het careers and terrible singing. I'd even go as far as to say MewGulf is often considered the blueprint for what a shipped couple can be with folks (not me--zonzons leave me alone) often comparing ZeeNunew and the like to MewGulf. BossNoeul is similar to a JoongDunk/PondPhuwin level of noteriety without nearly the same level of dramas to their name, which speaks volumes.

Because MeMindY can produce 1-2 series per year with the same 4 actors and have people shipping them to the high heavens, I think we can consider it an established company that will continue to thrive barring bankruptcy lol.

Open Label

Production Value: C- | Talent: B | Story Variety: -- | Writing: B

Notable Series: Century of Love (2024)

Notable Actors: Daou Pittaya, Offroad Kantapon

My Thoughts: Open Label is the new company on the block. From my understanding, Daou and Offroad actually formed the company themselves (a la YinWar with YWPB or Saint with IDF). Open Label does not have an established identity because they've produced approximately one show. BUT, they did tell us about DaouOffroad's new series The Wicked Game, which looks to be a bodyguard romance that takes on some of the more mature themes we typically see at BOC.

Artistically, all I can say is that they're off to a great start with story selection. Century of Love (COL) was a good first entry as it has a fantasy/supernatural element that blends Thai folklore and religious practices with its romance. There's also the level of comfortability and chemistry between its key actors (Daou and Offroad) that is hard to come by. Hopefully as the company produces more successful series, budgets can increase and they can attract even more talent.

Business-wise, there is no business. There is only DaouOffroad and a slew of pretty faces we have yet to see in anything. This is a good starting point for any company, however, so we shall see how things continue to progress from here.

Ultimately, I'm optimistic that Open Label will see success.

Tia51

Production Value: C- | Talent: C+ | Story Variety: D | Writing: C-

Notable Series: My Universe (2023), LoveSick 2024 (2024)

Notable Actors: Almond Poomsuwan, Bew Busaya, Krit Ngamtanakijja, NJ Deeprompt, Progress Passawich, Shane Thanatpong, Sky Phasith, Toto Thayawat, Yeepun Purichaya

My Thoughts: I've only watched LoveSick 2024.

Tia51 is not exactly new but, from what I know, they've only produced 2 series. Because of this, they don't have an identity yet.

Artistically, so far, so good. It's definitely interesting to have one of your first series be a remake of an iconic series, and it seems to have been a genius decision by the folks over at Tia51. But, because the flagship series is a remake, the only thing to discuss artistically is the talent pool. The directing in Love Sick 2024 was, at times, very inspired. The actors were nearly all rookies and a good 75% of the cast were under 18 at the time of filming--2 things which do come through quite a bit in the finished product. Still, I found that the lead role was very strong, all things considered, and the changes made from the original to this remake seemingly made a lot of sense. Going forward, it's really just about staying at this level of quality or better.

Now, out of all the companies in this space, Tia51 is the only one I have personal experience with when it comes to the business/fan side of things. While in Thailand, I stumbled upon the premiere of LoveSick 2024. While the event itself could've used a little more logistics planning (though part of the problem here is that my Thai isn't very advanced so I had a little more difficulty getting around the venue), it was overall pretty well-organized, which left a good impression on me.

Additionally, the actors are all hella clouted in Thailand (from my understanding, many of the actors cast in the show actually had fanbases through things like music and social media prior to being cast), which adds to the business potential of Tia51. It also helps that, from my experience meeting the crew and cast, they are all very charismatic and are quickly learning how to be good entertainers. Because of this, I think the business of Tia51 has potential to expand. They just need to not waste Progress's acting talent, Chok and Toto's singing talent, and the rest of the cast's social media clout in order to succeed. This means picking tasteful stories to tell and actually nurturing their musical talent in a natural way (unlike GMMTV platforming non-singers).

Conclusion

If you're coming from western media, I'd say the best place to start is either BOC (they have the more serious vibes you get in western media with few quirks) or GMMTV (they're the most accessible).

If you're coming from eastern media (particularly kpop), GMMTV is probably the best place to start, closely followed by DMD. The fandom experience that is a huge part of kpop, is very similar here. In fact, for kpop fans, it might even be helpful to think of the BL companies in kpop company terms. GMMTV/DMD/BOC = SM Entertainment/JYP Entertainment/YG Entertainment, respectively. MeMindY & IDF are like the smaller companies that still have popular groups like WakeOne and KQ Entertainment.

If you're coming from other BL industries (Taiwan, Japan, Korea), I'd say start with Change or DMD for Taiwan and Tia51 or BOC for Korea. If you're coming from Japanese BL, I don't know what to tell you because jbl stans almost always think jbl is superior to everything else and won't given] anything else a chance. Plus, production quality-wise, jbl productions are very dissimilar to Thai productions in almost every conceivable way lmao so I can't really make any good comparisons.

[delyth88]

Agh! No one told me you'd also stay up after midnight writing fanfiction!

[spnfanficpond]

Manta Ray chat in the Discord server

Coming soon, one of our Manta Rays, @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes, will be in the Discord server, just hanging out!

What time will it be for you:

UTC - Monday 16:00

Los Angeles - Monday 9am

New York - Monday noon

London - Monday 5pm

New Delhi - Monday 9:30pm

Melbourne - Tuesday 2am

Our Manta Rays hang out like this in an effort to foster the mentoring side of the community, where more experienced members help the newbies with anything and everything Tumblr- and writing-related. This is your chance to get advice and feedback from people who have been there and done that!

(We also like to just chat with you guys and see how you’re doing as people, so don’t feel like you need to bring only writing problems into the chat. Writing is life, and we welcome all parts of life! Be that writer stuff, personal stuff, or really personal stuff like sex, periods, and poop.)

RULES TO LIVE/CHAT BY:

You must be a Pond member to participate. (Joining is easy! Just fill out this form here.)

No hate. Everyone’s opinions must be respected. (Ship and let ship!)

No NSFW images or text, as some Pond members are under the age of 18 and we want all members to be welcome. (If chat turns NSFW, we have a whole separate channel we can move to!)

So, bring your frustrations, your problems, your lack of inspiration, and let’s see if we can help you work it all out! 

[gioia-writes-and-others]

🦐🤔🦐 MIXED FRIED .....for REAL ?

(dump writer post / snippet / art in progress)

Thank you for the tag to @illarian-rambling HERE,

@the-golden-comet HERE , HERE and HERE,

@alinacapellabooks HERE , @tragedycoded HERE , and

@wyked-original-writing HERE

You're also tagged !! 💋💋

*****

This is more a general update as I reached a point in The Scarred Angel where I HAVE to tied up a few things before going further.... Truth of the last couple of months 🙄

The time for scenes and notes hapardazly written everywhere is OVER ! (Half joke and also LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL)

More seriously : I want to make sure I don't drop everything which will be a huge disappointment for several reasons.

ramble/snippet/art under the cut

Ashley would kick my ass / won't leave me alone if I do so (I know this for a fact)

I spent enough time already on TSA (summer 2023 since the first idea came up + about summer 2024 since actively working on it

The initial idea and characters still have reason to exist

Thing is :

It's the first time I work something this "complex" (?).... aka : I've done, I'm doing and I'll do again many "ERRORS" along the way. (Oh wait! Such goes life.....) I really need an OUTLINE at this point, even a gross one! I have an entire first arc of 6 zero draft chapters plus several others (the current wc is between 60000 and 70000 words) BUT most importantly : I feel the need of keep specific and steady angles to write MY story NOT someone's else. Those same angles that made me start in the first place. And apparently, rn, I have to dig and put them on my board to better keep an eye on it among the mass of infos, researches, things that need to happen, characters development, various other ideas .....+ all the interesting imputs I see around and along the way every day!

Additional note : my mother, that knows nothing about what I'm writing , just sent me a letter from Claudia Sheinbaum, actual mexican president, especially dedicated to "Mr DT" and "Mr EM" from "the rest of the world".

You can find the note on the internet and since a lot of TSA PLOT is about INFORMATION.....guess what? The letter slaps but we're not entirely sure she said so for real 😉

STILL .... it would be awesome if she did and since one of the main inspiration quotes for TSA is "everything happens for a reason", fuck yes, I'll take this as a sign too!

....To be continued.....

****

SNIPPET....

Back to the actual chp 1, draft zero, "Amy on the border"

....

My heart skips another beat.

Phil feared it was too soon yet, that I might not be ready to handle the new environment.

Probably me stopping the meds didn't help him accepting my initiative but it hasn't be  a problem for my chief editor who doesn't know anything about me.

Rather the opposite way around, no way I could have missed how much they were happy about someone volunteering for the assignment.

I'm a newbie in this line of work, just two months since I toke the job, and they accepted nonetheless to send me to cover about the challenging task the local police department must face every day in this powder keg that is THE border.

No kidding.

There is always something going on here, endless supply material for many and many articles.

'Same old, same old' is what I heard at the office among other casual comments and still, keeping an 'attentive eye' upon the border situation it's considered a must, so that when something significant seems to come up they do actually send a 'soldier on the battlefield' in order to get first hand information.

I'm nowhere near close to have my own opinion on the matter but I basically threw myself on the opportunity.

.........

ART

Amy doesn't know yet but Ashley's already out there ....

Tag NP and a drink 🍻☕🍷☕ 🍹🍻 let me see what you got

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+ OPEN

[book-of-forbidden-knowledge]

Why Aren't More People Occultists?

If this stuff works and is powerful — if it's really that easy to control your life, or directly experience God, or whatnot — why doesn't everybody do magic?

It's not actually that easy.

It’d be really stereotypical and a bit elitist for me to say that occultism weeds out all but the most worthy, but… it kinda does. Studying the occult is a commitment. Firstly, it’s a huge field, bigger than you might think. It’s enough of a project to dig through all of the available subsets of occultism before you land on one that really suits you. A lot of people just stick with whatever it was they encountered first, be it Wicca or Hermeticism or some form of folk magic, because it’s easier. It’s not like you’re presented with a bunch of different occult tracks, and pick a major. I’ve tried to make it easier for newbies by laying out all the systems I know of and providing a bit of basic information on each, so that they know there’s more out there than just WitchTok. But almost everything I know still falls under the banner of Western Esotericism, with nothing outside it.

Then once you’ve found a system or subfield that you like, you have to actually study it. That takes years. I put the date of my “initiation” (as it were) at about thirteen, when I discovered Wicca. That was when I learned that witches were real, and that if I put the work in, I could be one. That was ten years ago! I’ve been studying this for a decade! When that sank in, I realized just how much I’ve managed to learn and to accomplish in that time, and I feel a little more justified in speaking with authority on occult subjects. Some of the occult podcasters, youtubers, and writers that I follow haven’t been in it that long! And yet, I still feel like I know basically nothing. Hell, I haven’t even gotten through The Doctrine and Ritual of High Magic yet. Half of the books on my suggested reading list are sitting on my shelf or in my pdf folder, unread or partially-read.

The well-informed student of occultism is one of the most universally learned of human beings. He must be acquainted with all of the important systems of world philosophy and religion, both Eastern and Western, and he must have a thorough understanding of ancient sciences and arts. There is no place for the superficial thinker in this field; and should he wander in by accident, or would be wise for him to depart in haste. — Manly P. Hall, Healing: The Divine Art

Occultism is almost more reading than it is anything else (to the point where a lot of occultists call The Ninth Gate one of the most accurate occult films purely because it involves a lot of pouring over an old book). It’s like deliberately choosing to do college-level coursework all the time. You have to have the time to read all those books, and you also have to have the money to buy them. Many occult texts are public domain and freely available online, but anything too weird and obscure is going to be hundreds of dollars on Amazon, assuming you can find it at all.

And the material itself is dense, man. The Three Books of Occult Philosophy is the definitive text on Renaissance planetary magic and “natural magic,” but it's literally a textbook from hundreds of years ago, and about as dry as you’d expect. Mystical texts like the Corpus Hermeticum are genuinely difficult to understand, and to a beginner who has had no mystical experiences to compare them against, they might be completely opaque. Grimoires are just plain weird. This, I realize, is the advantage of books like The Kybalion, which take higher and more complex ideas and distill them down into a format that’s digestible for beginners. But then you run into another problem — a lot of the simplified “beginner books” are just trash. At best, you lose the nuance, and a beginner who doesn’t know any better might mistake vapid truisms for profundity. At worst, you get outright misinformation. Learning to vett all this material takes years in and of itself, and I speak from experience there.

Assuming you understand all this material, then you’re going to need to apply it. There’s nothing technically wrong with being an armchair magician, but most occultists are going to want to actually practice what they learn. That’s the whole point, isn’t it? Doing magic, taking command of your own life, becoming a supreme magus or witch-lord or demigod?

An initiatory system will do this part for you by teaching you their liturgy and allowing you to participate in their rituals, according to a regular schedule that they set. If you’re not initiated anywhere, you have the freedom of practicing rituals however and whenever you like. But… good luck with that. Developing a practice from scratch is really really hard, and holding yourself to it is just as hard. A lot of systems, especially ceremonial magic, require very specific sets of materials and procedures that (at most) can take months of preparation. Ceremonial magic often requires the magician to fast and spiritually cleanse themself before attempting a ritual, and then it requires use of specific times and astrological events. Folk magic will often require very specific tools and sets of conditions, too. I took one look at that and went “well, fuck that.” I don’t have the patience for any of that crap. And, to my credit, I’ve had some pretty awesome and successful experiences without it. But I can’t help wondering if my tendency to cut corners comes less from a desire to build an idiosyncratic practice, and more from my own lack of discipline. It’s probably both.

Once you have your practice figured out, you have to… y’know… practice. You’re probably not going to cast a successful spell on your first try. You’re probably not going to astral project without months of meditation exercises. You’re probably not going to see or talk to a spirit the first time you call one up, unless you have that particular gift. Even the simplest of divination methods require practice. The magical equivalents of get-rich-quick schemes are almost all untrustworthy, if not dangerous, so don’t think it’ll come easy.

And then you have the experience itself. If you are successful, you’ll be pushing up against grand eldritch forces beyond mortal comprehension. I’m not exaggerating. Mystical experiences can be earth-shattering and mind-breaking, especially if you’re new to them, and you may be feeling like your whole life is a lie. Don’t get me wrong, mystical experiences are amazing and leave you feeling like there’s fireworks going off in your brain and like you have the whole world at your fingertips. But to get there, you have to experience spiritual death and katabasis. Most people go out of their way to avoid working on themselves, but occultism will make you work on yourself. If you’ve made it this far, this is the point of no return. This is what separates the Initiates from the uninitiated. When things get dark and personal, will you get scared and turn back?

Before your mind jumps to horror movies, what I’m describing here is more psychological than physical, more metaphorical than literal. You won’t end up with demons “attached” to you. You won’t come out of a ritual one day to find that your family is dead and your house has burned down. Bad stuff happening in real life is sometimes a catalyst for the kind of spiritual “death” that I’m describing, but not the only possible cause or a result of it. Even the risk of madness, while present, is probably overstated. The real risk is that you will be psychologically incapable of working through all of your baggage. That requires developing an uncomfortable amount of self-awareness. Actually, pretty much all of occultism requires gaining awareness of things that you would normally try to ignore, and whether Insight brings you enlightenment or madness depends on how you react to it.

When all is said and done, what you’re left with is your own self, and your desires. What are you going to do with them? Being genuinely powerful, and taking responsibility for your own life, is scary. I sit here knowing that I could cast spells that will bring me a romantic partner, or ensure that I get into the graduate school that I want, or make Silksong come out this year. But I don’t cast them, because I’m not completely sure that’s what I want, and I assume I might regret the results. Overcoming the self-doubt and imposter syndrome is almost harder than Shadow work, because it pushes against the more natural and “logical” feeling that I am not special and that I don’t deserve any kind of special power. Until I get over that, I can’t do any magic. The only thing left to do is to claim my birthright as a child of the gods and dare to seize power. And after hearing all the cautionary tales, after having been humbled, after tempering my hubris… I can’t do it.

To Know, to Will, to Dare, to Keep Silent: First, you have to know all of this stuff, which involves studying a fuckton of complicated material for years. Second, you need to understand your will — have to know what you actually want, not just what you think you want. Have the self-awareness to identify the roots of your desires. Third, you have to dare to give yourself the authority to command the universe, or call the attention of the gods. Fourthly, you have to not talk about it. That's obviously the part I struggle the most with.

[indiestsnake]

Hi Indie! Glad to know you like my AO3 comment, now I can die happy. qwq

Seriously, chapter 49 of TFW was incredible. I do not know what sorcery you conjured to be able to write such deep characters, but I was fully immersed right from the starting sentence.

You and @paradox-crows have inspired me to start working on a RW fic of my own. The problem is that I haven't read a book in years, haven't done creative writing since middle school, and am currently having an aneryusm trying to worldbuild and plan out the plot.

Do you have any tips for a newbie writer like me? Everything I consider when planning seems to lead to more questions than answers. My current plan is to just start writing the scenes I have in mind and see what comes from that.

aaaaaaa hooray!!!!!! it still makes me so happy to know I inspire ppl that’s so COOOL ough

alright so. I’ll work off it being w RW fic but this main tip really applies to any story

outline the beginning and the end. where the story and characters start, and where they will be going. knowing where you’re headed with a story is vital to actually making your character arcs and foreshadowing feel good. I’d also recommend planning out some of the bigger in-betweens of plot beats; for example, when starting To Find Warmth I defined the end, beginning and when the main couple gets together. also if ur writing a romance, plan that moment when someone confesses. it’s imporant :3

Then, you literally just start writing. Get an idea of where the characters go and then nudge them along, and develop the story as you go. in the case of fanfic, this is why a lot of fics are written chapter to chapter. In the case of a book, this process would take place silently over a decently long time as you develop your story.

If you’re looking for writing/trope advice you can slowly subsume into your brain without just. reading a book, check out the Trope Talks series by Overly Sarcastic Productions on YouTube. I get a lot of my knowledge from watching those over and over for fun ._.

and just to round it off, here’s an important idea to keep in mind.

tropes are not inherently bad. tropes are storytelling tools, ones used often because they work. don’t be afraid to take inspiration from works you like! this story doesn’t have to be an innovative masterpiece in fiction or the equivalent of discovering a new color or smthn. it just needs to be yours.

you can always come by for more advice if you want!!! even if I am. largely unqualified to give it by a traditional definition. i try my best :3

[damnfandomproblems]

6219

I swear to fucking god

Stop saying they queerbaited with SPN, THEY DIDNT!

They never teased, saying multiple time that dean was straight, and Castiel, ON CANON only had relationship with women!

Dean is straight, thats canon. Shout over all the roofs you want, thats not going to change.

Now, Misha saying he's Bisexual, THEN had to come out a straight? Thats Misha doing the queerbaiting

Saying there will be destiel later, when writers, directors and JA explicitly said that it was not going to happen? Thats Misha queerbaiting y'all.

The other shippers, telling newbies to the fandom that Destiel is real and absolutely happened in the show? Thats those shippers who are queerbainting you.

Y'all need to review your definition of queerbaiting, because the ways you use it is wrong.

(Also, btw, there was queer representation on the show, not my fault if your too blind to see it)

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[uniquexusposts]

Her || Charles Leclerc

Main characters: Charles Leclerc x OC Genre: fanfiction, fluff  Story type: novel  Part: 39/45 Word count: 2220 Co writer: @mistrose23

Story summary: Matilde Jørgensen, the new Scuderia Ferrari team principal, faced the nerve-wracking challenge of reviving the team's fortunes and aiming for a championship. Leading a historic team as a 'newbie' and separating her work and personal opinions posed a significant challenge. The big question: is she capable to do so?

Previous chapter

Chapter 37. Just... her

"She is the biggest plot twist of this entire season, probably of my entire career."

Charles sat at the edge of the couch, staring out at the moonlit terrace beyond the open glass doors. The air inside the holiday home in the States felt still, heavy with unspoken thoughts. The words rolled over his lips without a warning. Andrea, who sat on the other side of the couch, stopped flipping through the sports magazine and glanced up. Joris, sprawled across an armchair, raised an eyebrow from behind his laptop.

"You're still stuck on that, huh?" Andrea asked.

Charles didn't answer immediately, his jaw tightening.

Joris lowered his laptop and raised an eyebrow. "Thought you had figured it out by now," he said casually.

"Figured what out?" Charles asked, though his tone betrayed his wariness.

"Oh, you know." Joris waved a hand vaguely. "What to do about... things."

Andrea smirked faintly, closing the magazine. "Yeah, it's been a while, hasn't it? You're usually quicker at handling situations like this."

Charles turned to glare at them. "What situations?"

Andrea didn't answer, instead glancing at Joris as if passing the baton.

"Well," Joris started, leaning forward, "it's not exactly subtle. The way you've been acting. Anyone paying attention would notice."

"Notice what?" Charles snapped, his patience wearing thin.

"Mate," Andrea called him out, his gaze steady. "You are distracted, more than usual."

Charles stiffened, his frustration evident. "I'm fine."

"Sure you are," Joris said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "That's why you've been pacing the garage like it's a racetrack, snapping at everyone, and, oh, let's not forget that little moment during the last debrief when you couldn't even look across the table without losing your train of thought."

"What are you talking about?" Charles felt a sharp pang of unease.

Andrea shrugged. "We're just saying; it's obvious something's going on. You're not exactly a closed book, Charles."

The eyes of Charles narrowed, suspicion creeping in. "You're being vague on purpose. What exactly do you think you know?"

The two exchanged a look, and Joris's lips twitched into a grin. Charles stared at them, the pieces slowly falling into place. The deliberate vagueness, the knowing looks, the pointed yet nameless references... His heart sank as realisation dawned.

"Your boss."

"Fuck," Charles mumbled, his voice quieter but no less intense.

Andrea tilted his head, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Finally, he catches on."

Joris chuckled. "Took you long enough."

Charles's face flushed with a mix of embarrassment and irritation. "Merde," he muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair. "You don't even know-"

"We know enough," Andrea cut him off gently. "We've been watching you torture yourself for months. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out."

Charles groaned, burying his face in his hands. "I didn't want anyone to know."

"You didn't tell us," Joris reminded him. "But it's not like you were hiding it, either."

The silence that followed was thick with tension. Charles finally looked up, his eyes darting between his two closest confidants. "And what do you expect me to do? It's not like I can... just do something about it."

Andrea leaned back against the couch, crossing his arms. "That's the problem, isn't it? You keep telling yourself you can't do anything about it, so you don't. Instead, you stew in it, let it eat at you, and pretend like it's fine. Spoiler: it's not fine."

Charles shot him a withering look, but it didn't deter Andrea, who kept his calm, no-nonsense gaze locked on his friend. "You think I didn't do anything about it? Spoiler: she's my boss, so I can't do anything about it because we are both under massive contracts. If someone within the team finds out and snitches, we are both done."

"You think we're blind, mate?" Joris cut in, leaning forward now with his elbows on his knees. "You don't have to tell us anything for us to see it. The way you look at her, the way you completely unravel whenever she's in the room; it's written all over your face. Everybody knows it, but no one dares to say anything about it."

"I don't unravel," Charles muttered defensively, though his voice lacked conviction.

Andrea snorted, shaking his head. "Sure you don't. That's why you avoided her like the plague during the last strategy meeting. I've seen you pull a better poker face with a 1-2 finish slipping through your fingers - which FYI, you need to work on that poker face too." He shrugged. "I don't know anything about Matilde, but if she knows, she knows how to hide it and how to act professionally. That woman... Unbelievably strong."

Joris nodded in agreement. "And let's not even get started on the media sessions. Do you even know how obvious it is when you try not to mention her? You're terrible at it."

Charles groaned, the weight of their observations pressing down on him. He sank deeper into the couch, his hands covering his face. "This isn't helping."

"We're not Willy Wonka to sugarcoat things," Andrea replied bluntly. "Figure things out."

Charles dropped his hands and glared at them both. "Figure it out how, exactly? What do you want me to do? Walk into her office and say, 'Hey, by the way, I absolutely cannot stop thinking about you and I don't know what to do anymore. Perhaps we can try it secretly and hope that it doesn't make things weird?'" His voice dripped with sarcasm, but the bitterness underneath was palpable.

"Why not?" Joris asked with a shrug, his casual demeanour catching Charles off guard. "Wait, did you tell her about it already?"

"Mate, she turned our contracts upside down to see if it was legal - which it is, by the way. We talked about it, what adults do. And we decided to leave it because no one is willing to give up their position."

Andrea tilted his head, his expression somewhere between incredulous and bemused. "You actually talked about it? Like... really talked about it? And then just decided to leave it? Mate, you're acting like you signed a treaty to stay miserable." He snorted. "She knows how to hide, she knows how to deal with situations like this. That woman is a goddess."

Charles sighed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "It's not that simple. We're both... committed to what we're doing. Our careers, the team, the goals we've worked for our whole lives. How do you choose between that and... something else? Something that could ruin everything?"

Joris let out a low whistle, shaking his head. "You're telling me you both acknowledged this thing between you, decided not to act on it, and then just... moved on? No wonder you're a mess."

"We didn't move on," Charles snapped, his frustration flaring. "We put it aside. For the team, for the championship, for everything we have built. It's the right decision."

Andrea leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs, his expression softening. "But is it the decision that makes you happy? Because, Charles, from where I'm sitting, you look anything but."

Charles opened his mouth to argue but stopped himself. He stared at the floor, his thoughts churning. "I can't risk it," he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. "Not for her, not for me. I am so close. I have never been that close. She is so close, she is about to make history. There is no way that we can do anything about it other than act like nothing is going on. If this goes wrong, it will destroy everything."

Joris exchanged a look with Andrea, his grin fading into something more serious. "And if you keep going like this? Pretending you're fine when you're not? You think that's not going to destroy everything too?"

Charles didn't answer. The room fell into silence, the weight of the conversation pressing down on all of them. The hum of the air conditioner and the soft rustle of the wind outside were the only sounds.

After a long pause, Andrea spoke again, his tone quiet but firm. "You've got to ask yourself one question, Charles. What's the bigger risk? Losing her because you're too scared to try, or losing yourself because you're too scared to feel?"

Charles swallowed hard, the lump in his throat making it difficult to breathe. He couldn't look at them, couldn't face the raw honesty in their eyes. Instead, he stared out at the terrace, the sun reflecting off the glass like an unspoken truth he wasn't ready to confront. "I don't know," he admitted, his voice trembling. "This situation is impossible to deal with." He took a deep breath. "The most fucked up joke life can play on you, is letting you meet the right person at the wrong time."

Andrea and Joris stayed silent, letting Charles gather his thoughts. The room, bathed in the soft glow of the sun, felt like a safe cocoon, a place where he could speak freely; even if the words hurt.

Charles ran a hand through his hair, tugging slightly at the roots in frustration. He leaned back on the couch, his head resting against the cushion, eyes fixed on the ceiling as if the answers might be written there. "It's not just her," he began quietly, his voice raw. "It's... everything about her. The way she thinks, the way she carries herself. She's... unshakable, you know? She's got this confidence, this fire that's so rare to see. It's impossible not to be drawn to it."

Andrea and Joris exchanged a glance but said nothing, letting him continue.

"She's not just smart, she's sharp, like she can see right through all the bullshit. But at the same time..." His voice softened, his gaze distant. "She's kind. Not in the obvious way. It's in the little things; how she listens when no one else does, how she notices things about people that they don't even notice about themselves. She's always three steps ahead of everyone, always thinking, planning... and she cares. Not just about the job or the team, but about people. She always asks how you are and... and she listens." He licked his lips. "And she's funny, too. Not the type of humour that's loud and in-your-face, but the kind that sneaks up on you, makes you laugh when you least expect it. She can be clumsy sometimes, but it's adorable, because she knows she is clumsy and laughs it away, but she can be so embarrassed about it." He exhaled sharply, shaking his head as if trying to clear his thoughts. "And don't get me started on how stubborn she is. It drives me crazy, but it's also one of the things I admire most about her. She doesn't back down, not even when it's me. Especially not when it's me." He swallowed, his voice thickening as he continued. "There was this moment... after one of the races. I was frustrated, angry at myself for not delivering. I didn't even say anything, but she just knew. She didn't try to give me a pep talk or tell me what I should've done differently. She just sat there, quiet, letting me be in my own head until I was ready to talk. And when I finally did... she listened, like really listened. No judgment, no advice I didn't ask for; just... her."

Andrea shifted slightly, leaning forward. "That's rare," he said softly. "Someone who knows how to just be there for you."

Charles nodded, his jaw tightening. "It's not just that, though. She challenges me, pushes me to be better. She doesn't let me get away with excuses, but it's never... harsh. It's like she believes in me more than I believe in myself sometimes. And when she looks at me..." He paused, his chest tightening as the memory filled him. "It's like she sees the person I want to be. The person I'm still trying to become."

Joris, who had been listening quietly, set his laptop aside. "Sounds like she gets you in a way no one else does."

"She does," Charles admitted, his voice cracking slightly. "And that's the problem. She's too important, to the team, to my career. She's built this incredible life for herself, and I can't be the one to ruin it. I can't be the reason things fall apart for her or for me. It's selfish, and... unfair." He exhaled sharply, shaking his head. "But I can't stop thinking about her. I can't... not feel this way. Oh, and I have been a dickhead to her. I still don't understand how I'm still part of the team, how she still fell for me."

The room fell silent again, Charles's confession hanging in the air. Andrea and Joris exchanged a glance, their earlier teasing replaced with understanding and concern.

"You're not being selfish," Andrea said after a moment. "Loving someone isn't selfish, Charles. It's human."

"And maybe," Joris added, his tone gentle, "she's not as fine as you think. Maybe she's struggling with this too."

Charles shook his head, his expression pained. "She deserves better than this. Better than me. Better than... whatever this is."

"Maybe she deserves to decide that for herself," Andrea replied, his voice steady.

Charles didn't respond, the weight of their words sinking in. He closed his eyes, leaning back further into the couch, wishing for a way out of the impossible maze he found himself in. But deep down, he knew they were right. The question was, did he have the courage to act on it?

Next chapter

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @crashingwavesofeuphoria @maryvibess @ironmaiden1313 @sltwins @heart-trees @npcmia @llando4norris