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#no tags but i'm sure some assholes will find me anyways
tenok · 5 months
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#another thing that drives me crazy us that some parts of fandom made ut hard for ne to enjoy things I like#for example when series 2 only came out I was invested into all edits with sad songs#about how Aziraphale loves angel!Crowley and demon!Crowley suffers#and than you came into tegs and apparently some people will argue that it's canon and not angsty au#*tags#and now it leaves bad taste in my mouth#or like. brainwashed Aziraphale ir Aziraphale that scared and under treat can be tasty concepts#while it's treated as 'what if' and not as 'it's clearly canon and we will build all our understanding of his character on it'#or Aziraphale's black and white thinking or him still believing that angels are (should be) inherently good and heavens are better than hel#I think it is canon! it did played it's part in final fifteen! but I can't say it because I think it's neutral or even lovable part of#Aziraphale as character (sure real life person would be insufferable with thanking like this. but also I would kill someone real who drives#like Crowley! who cares!) and you can't put it in tags without treating this either as flaw he will and *should* overcome#or proof of him being bad/stupid/abusive#like I don't care!! I want to say 'look at him my baby thinks he's the smartest and most holy being in this room' and boop his little nose#I can't even enjoy angsty headcanons about Crowley being miserable without Aziraphale#because one they treat this as being Aziraphale's fault and two it's again treated as canon#like I can take only so much fucs where Crowley lays face down into pool of his tears thinking that he's the poores lost puppy ever being#while not giving two fucks about Aziraphale being in danger him own being asshole to him in final fifteen and oh yes SECOND COMING AROUND#anyway yes I'm a weak link and should be eliminated yes yes#yrs I block and try to not engage and after some weeks I tentatively ready to enjoy *some* of this things again#but yes I still want to complain!!#no people doesn't do anything wrong bu engaging with canon the way they find enjoyable#I can't stress enough that it's a me problem#but of course my hatred turned onto imaginary enemy
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mayajadewrites · 4 months
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i said sit - levi ackerman x plus size reader
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✦ synopsis: levi ackerman is not a patient man. so when you tell him that you're too scared to sit on his face, he makes sure he gets what he wants.
✦ chapter content warnings: plus size f!reader, oral (f! receiving), levi is sort of an asshole but in a sweet way
✦ characters: levi ackerman
ao3
tag list: @come-away-with-me87
"You can't be serious right now." Your boyfriend, Levi Ackerman, furrowed his eyebrows. "Say that again."
"Baby don't act like you haven't seen me." You outline your body with your hands. "I'm heavier than you. If I sit on your face I'm afraid I'll crush you."
You and Levi were standing in the doorway of his room in his apartment - a place you have been frequenting more lately. Some of your possessions are placed neatly around the space, mostly so if any woman comes over they know that there's one already here.
Toxic? Maybe. But your boyfriend is Levi fucking Ackerman, and you know there are many women who would love to sleep with him.
Not that he really has anyone over but you anyways.
"I'm not fucking blind." Levi pressed his large hand to the other side of the doorway, looking down at you. You're about an inch shorter than him, which is why everyone says you were made for each other. "You act like I haven't seen you naked."
"It's... different." Your doe eyes find his gaze. "Being on top... I've had b bad experiences."
Levi's expression turned sour as he analyzed your face. "You mean to tell me a man made you feel insecure about yourself?"
You turn your head to the side, not wanting to verbally answer him.
"Look at me." Levi forcefully grabbed your chin with his thumb and index finger, setting your face straight. "Answer me."
"Yes. God, Levi. Leave it alone." You try to turn around to enter his room, but he blocked you with his muscular, chiseled arm. He's wearing a short sleeve black shirt that tugs a bit at his biceps.
"You're going to do as I say. Ok?" Levi's voice was low. You stared at your boyfriend in that moment - why were you so scared to let him pleasure you? He has been nothing but amazing these past few months that you've been dating.
His mouth found yours in a hot, frenzied kiss as he pushed your back against the doorway. The kiss caught you off guard, but your pussy clenched as his lips attached to yours.
Levi dragged his hands along your curves, grabbing the meat of your hips gently with his calloused hand. He groaned against your lips as he kneaded your hips, moving his hand to your ass.
"Any man would be lucky to have your pussy on their face." He hooked his arms under your thighs, picking you up to wrap your legs around his waist.
He picked you up like you were a fucking paperclip.
Even though Levi's frame is small, the man is the strongest. He never once winced when picking you up, or when you lean your body into his.
Your tits pressed against his chest as you cradled his face, his beautiful face in your soft hands. Your kisses are needy, slipping your tongue inside his mouth frantically as the knot in your stomach tightened.
Levi lead you to his bed, his king size bed that looked like a cloud. He sat you down at the edge as he peeled his shirt off, then helping you with your clothes.
"Levi, I-"
"Shut up." He cut you off, peeling your clothes off your body. "Listen to me. I want you to ride my face. Am I making myself clear?" He pulled your jeans off swiftly.
You open your mouth to speak but no words come out. You look down at your stomach, your fingers dragging along the softness and rolls.
"You are the most beautiful person I've ever met." Levi knelt down in between your legs. "Have I ever made you feel otherwise?"
You shook your head, biting your bottom lip gently. "No."
"Trust me." He kissed your lips once more before laying down on his back on the plush fabric of his comforter.
You take a deep breath, crawling to where Levi is laying.
"You look so sexy crawling to me." Levi growled. Your tits were almost falling out of your hot pink lacy bra, a lace thong to match. He loves the color pink on you, so you made sure to buy plenty of hot pink bra and panty sets. "We'll have to revisit that later."
You smirked, gaining more confidence. You straddled your legs around his waist, sliding your body up. You're sat on his chest, his hands gripping your ass.
The look in his eyes is almost feral. They look more blue than grey from up here.
He kissed your inner thigh, slapping your ass gently with his hand as he watches your expression. "What are you waiting for, baby?"
You close your eyes, moving your hips forward slowly.
"Fuck it." Levi pushed your ass roughly so your clothed, wet core was now on his face. "I said sit."
"Levi!" You gasp at he feeling of his tongue on the fabric.
"You gonna leave these on or what?"
You raised to your knees and slid your thong off, throwing it to the side of the bed.
Levi gazes up at the beautiful sight of your pussy, dripping with arousal so much that it looks like it's sparkling.
He slapped his hands on your ass, pulling you down to him.
"Oh, fuck!" You feel the contours of his face as his hands apply more pressure to your ass. He blows cold air onto your folds, causing the hair on your neck to stand up. He dragged his tongue along your folds, getting an initial taste of you.
Levi wasted no time in lapping up your juices. His tongue dove into your aching pussy as his mouth sucked on your clit. Your legs began to twitch, one hand on the headboard and the other buried in his raven hair.
His hand grazed the top of your ass, caressing the skin gently. Even when he's eating you like he's been starved for weeks, he still makes you feel comfortable.
"Mmph, Levi." He uses the other hand to slip two fingers inside of you as he continues to suck on your swollen clit.
"That's it, baby. Ride my face."
You rock your hips back and forth as you feel the coil on your stomach growing tighter. He smacks your ass roughly as your hips move and you swear you can feel his smirk.
"Levi, fuck I'm gonna come." You take a staggered breath.
"Not yet." He mumbled against your pussy. "I'm not finished with my meal." His fingers curled inside of you, his tongue lapping up every drop of arousal.
Your hips start to grind at a quicker pace as you feel yourself coming undone. Levi's hand pushed your ass down onto his face to plunge his tongue deep into you, exploring depths of your pussy that no one has.
"You taste so good, pretty girl. So wet for me." Lewd sounds filled the room as his mouth continued to devour you.
"I can't hold it much longer." You whine.
"What a needy brat. Go." He slapped your ass as a signal for you to come undone on top of him.
The coil snapped, and you swore you could see stars. Your hips continued to rock on his face as you reached euphoria. Levi's tongue, not showing any signs of being tired, assisted his lips with sucking and licking your swollen, overstimulated clit.
You pull on his hair gently with your fingers, finally descending from your high. Levi pulls you next to him on the bed, laying on your side. Before wiping his face with the back of his hand, he drags his index finger across his swollen, pinkish-red lips and dips his finger in your mouth.
"Taste yourself, princess."
You wrap your lips around his finger, tasting your own arousal. Levi wraps his arms around your soft body, bringing his face to the crook of your neck. He places soft kisses against your skin as he holds you tightly in his arms. "I'm gonna need seconds. I'm still hungry."
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myg-butterfly · 1 year
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Nothing New
Ot7! BTS x Choreographer! Reader (Seokjin x Reader focused)
Summary: You get hurt and have to find a replacement. You just didn't think that replacement extended to your relationship with the BTS members. Will they still want you when you're nothing new?
Tags: ANGST (sorry), eventual fluff, Injured!Reader, Fem!Reader, Bangtan are kind of assholes, this isn't really proofread sorry, I also don't know how this shit actually works with Idol groups so I'm just making shit up lolsies.
A/N: HI omg sorry this took FOREVER. I was gonna have this done this weekend but we went to go visit family so I put this aside omg, but it's finalllyyyy here! I hope this lives up to your expectations. Thank you for all the love on the teaser, and remember, comments and feedback are always soooo appreciated!
Taglist: @bangteezbaby @thelilbutifulthings @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @juju-227592 @kikz165 @plexcaffeinate
All the members had just gotten home from rehearsal, and immediately went to find you just so they could throw silly little tantrums about you not being there.
The way they were pouting reminded you more of kicked puppies than world-wide sensations.
"It's fine guys, I know someone who can cover for me until I get better."
"But we like your choreography better." Taehyung whines into your shoulder and you pat his head in comfort.
"It's just a month or two, Tae."
You had broken your leg about a week ago, and consequently, you couldn't continue choreographing for the group until you were fully healed.
Which meant either the boys paused their learning, or you brought someone else in to cover for you - and you're all aware that pausing isn't really an option.
"But I'll miss you." Your boyfriends were overly dramatic, acting like you were leaving even though you all lived together.
"You'll still see me at home, it's not like I'm dropping off the face of the earth."
He huffs into your shoulder and rolls over so he's sitting next to you normally now.
"Anyway, how have you been? Have you felt okay?" Seokjin sits down on the other side of you and you feel yourself growing a bit shy under his caring stare.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
•••
"Hi! Thank you so much for covering for me. We're on a reall-"
"Save it, it's whatever. I always told you you'd need my help again at some point."
You don't like the implications in her tone but you pass it off with a small chuckle.
"Okay, so they already know 2 out of the 5 numbers for this album, and we were in the middle of learning the 3rd one. I taught it to Hoseok in advance so he can take over for that one. So you wouldn't need to be at the studio until next week. I'll send you the videos I took of the foundation of the other 2 numbers so you can learn it and then teach it."
She looked so uninterested in what you were saying, but you had to be professional.
You called her here in the first place.
"Kay, cool, got it. Also, can I get the guys' numbers? You know, just in case."
"Oh uhm, you can ask them when you see them next week… I'm not sure if they want me giving out their numbers to people they don't really know."
"Well they're gonna know me soon right? Don't be greedy, trying to keep all of them to yourself."
She giggles but you can feel that it's not really one of genuine giddiness and you hope that your discomfort isn't apparent.
"I'll ask them when I see them later today."
You plaster on the best smile you can and she gives you an equally forced one back.
"Okay. Bye!"
She basically struts away and you're left standing there; maybe calling her was the wrong move.
•••
Yep. Calling her was probably the wrong move. But it depends on which side of Y/N you ask.
On the professional side, this is absolutely great. They hit it off right away, all the boys growing comfortable with her rather quick (something HYBE valued a lot), and she was great at her job. Talented, bold, confident, friendly, the whole package.
On a more personal side, this was putting you on edge. How suddenly, all the guys would talk about was 'Joanna said this a rehearsal' or 'Joanna invited us out to eat'. It was always Joanna this Joanna that, and you knew they were just excited to have a new friend, to have someone who shares their passion, you couldn't help but wonder if their feelings for you were simply out of excitement. And now that you're not the newest thing around, would they still want you? Would they still talk about you with the same sparkle in their eyes as they do with Joanna? It left a pit in your chest.
And — yeah, calling her was the definitely the wrong move.
Finally, a long-awaited date with all of you. They were filled with energy, talking and joking on the ride there, and you felt your heart growing lighter, you still had them.
They even helped you get off the car with all the gentleness in the world, helped you get in your seat and made sure you were completely comfortable.
The lightness quickly weighed down into something much heavier when you saw Joanna walk in and make her way to the table.
And the weight felt like it had been dropped to you feet when the guys scooted to make space for her, Namjoon even standing up to hug her and letting her sit first so she'd be in between him and Jungkook.
How long has it been since they hugged you with such happiness?
"Oh my god, Y/N, hi! The boys didn't tell me you would be here."
Something about the way she said "the boys" made your hands itch, almost as much as your throat itched to say 'likewise'.
"Welp. I'm here. Haha."
Dinner wasn't fun, to say the least.
Joanna was blatantly saying shit to embarrass you the entire time, and it even worse, your boyfriends seemed to be soaking up her every word, laughing whenever she pointed out something embarrassing about you when she knew you in high school.
"Yeah! And when we choreographed together, she would always forget her parts." She lets out a giggle and Hoseok laughs too: what's so funny?
"It was only once or twice." You groan, mostly to yourself, but Joanna hears it.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night."
Everyone laughs at her words again and suddenly, you start to think that staying home was the better option.
"I've always said she has the memory of a goldfish. Sometimes it felt like I was doing all the work because i constantly had to step in and help when Y/N froze up."
She turns to you when she speaks her next question:
"How are you doing now that I haven't been here to clean up after you? Are you making Jimin do it?" She laughs and nudges Jimin, who's sitting next to her, on the shoulder, and he happily shoves back with a bright smile on her face.
"I'm fine, it's rare that I forget stuff lately."
She gasps in a dramatic manner, you wish she would just disappear already.
"You? Not wasting time in rehearsal? Because you forgot? That's unheard of!"
You hate the way pretty much all of the guys laugh at her words: they know how much work you've put into being a good choreographer. Why were they laughing at you?
Suddenly, you feel the person next to you pressing up closer against you: Seokjin.
You look at him and he has a soft smile on his face, but not towards Joanna; his entire focus is on you.
"You have a really good memory darling. We can tell you've worked on it." The knot in your stomach softens its grip after hearing Seokjin's words, and for the first time since you got here, your smile is genuine.
"Anyways, how'd you injure yourself?"
"Oh, we were doing some cardio and I tripped. Fell at an awkward angle and it twisted my leg. Haha."
Joanna laughs a little too hard at this.
"I've always also said that for a supposed dancer you sure are clumsy as hell."
Some of the guys giggle at her comment, and you look down at your lap: why were they laughing at you?
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Seokjin sit up a little straighter, and you suspect he's gonna say something.
"Supposed dancer?" He raised a brow and to most people, it would've seemed like he was just egging onto the joke, but you and the rest of the table could tell that there was a serious undertone to his question.
It was no secret in your relationship with the guys that Seokjin had a specific soft spot for you – in a relationship as big as yours, its bound that all of you will have your weak spots for one another: Jungkook and Namjoon, Jimin and Taehyung, Hoseok and Yoongi, you and Seokjin.
So you were more than relieved when he met your gaze from across the table; he knew you were uncomfortable.
And as everyone knows, he's not one to stay quiet.
"I just mean it's surprising that for someone so clumsy she went into the professional world where coordination is crucial."
Jungkook uses this point to tease Namjoon, and thankfully the attention is taken off of you. You catch Seokjin's stare again and this time it's accompanied with an apologetic smile and him reaching out his hand to hold yours.
As your hands meet on top of the table, you seem to be the only one who notices the look Joanna sends you at the display of affection.
•••
More days pass by and everyday they get home later and later until you're left going to bed on your own.
You'd made it a habit to wait for each other if one was out late, but it didn't happen often since you had almost the same working hours and when you went out, it was usually altogether.
You'd tried to keep that habit after your injury, but they were coming home later everyday, and you weren't sure you had it in you to keep staying up for them.
Especially on nights like this one, where when they do get home, you're dismissed almost entirely.
The door opens and you sit up, ready to greet them one by one with a hug and kiss, but most of them just mumble a "hey" or "hi Y/N" and walk straight to their rooms.
Only Jungkook and Seokjin genuinely acknowledge you, Jungkook giving you a hug and a peck on the forehead accompanied by a soft "Hi baby." before going to his room as well.
Seokjin also hugs you, but he picks you up while doing so: shifting you in his arms so he can carry you to bed with him.
As he begins to walk, your eyes meet and he sends a soft smile your way.
You barely start to relax in his hold when you realize that he's walking into your room, and you slightly panic at the thought that he's going to leave you alone in there.
Your slight panic turns into franticness as he sets you down and steps away from the bed.
"No! Don't-" Jin whips around at the sound of your voice, and you feel immediate guilt when you see his startled expression.
"Sorry, I- I know you're tired. Sorry, you can go."
Your attempts to decrease his worry don't seem to work, because he's already making his way back towards your bed.
"No, no. What happened? Whats wrong?"
"Its nothing." Seokjin gives you a stern look, you both know that lying to him is impossible.
"It's not nothing. Is it your leg? Or is it something else?"
"Its stupid" you mumble.
Noticing that you're unsure of yourself, he sits closer to you and brushes you hair out of your face in attempts to comfort you.
"Its not stupid if its bothering you" you feel your tears welling up again at how soft Seokjin's voice is. How soft he is with you.
"I just- I don't think I can be alone right now." You lean into his touch as you finally get at least some of the truth off your chest.
"You don't have to be. I was going to shower, do you want to join me?"
"I don't want to bother you."
"You won't."
"But my leg, I won't be able to stand for long."
"It's okay, we'll bring a stool in and I'll help you."
"But you're tired-"
"Never of taking care of you."
Something in your heart settles through the rest of the night, there is no other intention behind Seokjin asking you to join him.
He washes your hair and even dries it once you're out, he helps you get dressed and he goes to sleep holding you, and even if it's just for one night; all is right in the world again.
The next morning, Jin wakes you up and asks you if you'd like to come to rehearsal with the 7 of them. You're elated, to say the least. You knew it was a minimum thing, but your heart couldn't help but flutter at the thought that they wanted you around.
•••
Jin on the other hand, is pissed. Not at you, (never at you), but at his 6 boyfriends and how absolutely dense they could be, this being one of those moments.
He'd mentioned that you were coming with them, and all of them responded well: "I hope she likes the choreo!" "Yay! I want to hear what she has to say."
Their response to you tagging along wasn't the problem, no.
It was their response when he tried to tell them about how you were feeling that pissed him off:
"Wait guys, before we leave, I need to talk to you about something real quick."
All of them were attentive towards him immediately, so he thought they'd receive this better.
"It's about Y/N. And partially Joanna."
"Okay?"
"I talked to Y/N last night and she seemed upset. She didn't really want to talk about it but I'm almost completely sure that she's feeling left out, and I think it may partially be because of Joanna."
All of them begin to speak at once, until Taehyung's voice cuts through everyone else's.
"Why do you think it has something to do with Joanna?"
The 6 boys settle down and stare expectantly at Jin.
"Have you guys not noticed how backhanded all of Joanna's comments are towards her? Even when Y/N isn't present, she always makes a joke at her expense. And not to mention, we've been spending a lot of time with Joanna, much more than we've been spending with Y/N. I know if I were her I would feel hurt; being injured and spending the whole day cooped up alone while my boyfriends are spending all their time with someone who treats me like dog shit."
Jin wasn't sure what he was expecting the boys' reactions to be, but it definitely wasn't the outraged faces they were all giving him.
Jungkook is the first one to respond:
"I mean, I noticed the comments but I thought they were all in good fun? You know, since Y/N and Joanna have been friends for such a long time."
Taehyung cuts in next:
"And if Y/N is feeling left out, I mean I understand but what does that have to do with Joanna?"
Almost as if on cue, there's noise coming from the kitchen, meaning that you're awake.
Jin quickly gets up to go to you, but not before leaving the 6 boys with one final word, "Just pay attention to how she speaks to Y/N, you'll see what I'm talking about."
•••
It's hard to describe – the knowledge that you're being left behind without any obvious evidence surrounding you.
It's not something that everyone outside of your point of view might see, but you can feel it cutting through you deeply.
Not being able to do what you love, and on top of that, not being able to spend time with the people you love, it's a shattering feeling that claws through your chest.
Which leaves you where you are now: in the car with the rest of the boys on your way to rehearsal.
You thought that maybe being back in the studio would relight the spark that made the 7 men drawn to you in the first place, but even the car ride there felt cold and almost uncomfortable.
•••
The atmosphere changes the moment you step foot in the studio. It feels lighter, somehow. You don't know how to feel, not with the voice in your head insinuating that this lightness is because of Joanna; the guys are more at ease with Joanna than they are with you.
You usually hate being wrong: but now, you wish you could say the voice in your head was being irrational, yet you can't. Not when you turn around and see everyone besides Seokjin and Yoongi - who are off conversing to the side - gathered around Joanna, happily talking to her.
When did they stop looking at you like that?
Finally, she takes notice of your presence and makes her way over to you.
"Y/N, girly! Hey! Are you here to learn?"
You don't respond, confused as to what she's trying to ask you.
"Ya'know? Learn from the best! We've been so productive with this number."
She responds like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and you almost feel offended at what she's insinuating.
"Oh, um- I'm here to see what the guys have done."
Joanna blinks at you, as if your answer threw her off, before continuing.
"Oh. Ok then. Cool! And are the boys cool with that?"
You can tell, she wants this to sound passive aggressive. Kind on the surface, but a clear jab at your insecurities.
Jungkook quickly cuts in;
"Of course. Why wouldn't we be cool with that?"
Joanna stutters through her response, being caught off guard by Jungkook as she thought no one had heard her remark.
"Oh! I don't know, you might get distracted? You know?"
"We'll be fine."
This time it's Jin who answers, and even if it's a little selfish, you're glad that his tone towards Joanna is automatically cold.
"Okay thennnn!"
She turns to you:
"But if you start being a distraction I'll have to ask you to step out. Heh, step out. That's funny."
She giggles at her little joke (at your expense), and makes her way into the practice room.
Rehearsal continues as usual, and you feel a bit lighter as the boys all make jokes and include you while they stretch and warm up.
They start to run through the choreography, and your heart swells with pride seeing them dance; all their hard work really does pay off.
As much as you wish to get up and dance with them, or even get up at all, you know you can't. But just seeing them perform will do.
Once they finish, you start to clap and Jimin and Jungkook turn towards you with a playful vow.
"Its looking really good guys!"
All of the boys respond with a 'thank you' and a smile.
"I do have a couple pointers about some things I noticed-"
"Okay, let's run it again!" Before you could finish your sentence you're cut off by Joanna's squeaky voice.
Thankfully, Hoseok cares about what you have to say, and the rest seem to agree as well.
"Wait, I wanna hear what Y/N had to say."
"Yeah! It's felt weird learning a brand new number and not having any of your input on it."
"Y/N, go on." Seokjin is the one who speaks last, and the look in his eyes tell you that things will be alright.
"Ok, so first thing make sure you guys are agreeing on your directions, make sure that it's either a complete diagonal or if its a slanted move so you all move the same direction-"
"Oh yeah, I explained that to them already, they know." You're once again cut off by Joanna.
You use this as a chance to tease the boys, as you always normally.
"Oh, then why are y'all making that mistake huh?" Your tone is playful, and you see Hoseok step towards you with all the intent of playing along, when a gasp coming from your right stops you both.
"Did you come in here just to criticize?"
Of course it's Joanna.
"Wha- no. I was just teasing them. The dance looks grea-"
"I told you you were gonna distract them, and what did I say I was gonna do if you got them unfocused?"
"I didn't mean to, I was just giving pointers-"
"I've been teaching them for the last few weeks, I know what they need to focus on right now."
"But I know that it can look cleaner than it did right now."
"Well this is my choreography! I know what's best! You don't get to come in here and just start shitting on my work because what? You're jealous?! You think you're better than everyone else?!"
You're taken aback when Joanna starts to scream at you, so much so that you try to step back, completely forgetting that one of your feet is injured.
As you place your foot down, a soaring pain strikes from your foot all the way to your thigh. A sob escapes you and that's when Jin's protective nature kicks in full force.
In the blink of an eye, he's crouching next to you and picking you up while everyone else in the rooms stands frozen in place.
The ice is shattered when a wail comes from somewhere else in the room: it's Joanna.
Everyone's head whips to her direction, but for very different reasons.
Jin, for one, is beyond disbelief that she'd go as low as fake crying to get the attention back on her.
The rest of the guys seemed concerned, but not because of her. Rather because they just saw her true colors, how Jin was right, how they'd neglected you.
Seokjin picks you up and rushes out the door, leaving everyone else in the room frozen.
•••
You don't really process anything that happens afterwards. You just know Seokjin is with you as you go to the doctor to get your foot checked out, and that's enough to push you into a state where you know you can space out.
You couldn't comprehend it, how you were hurt and the rest of them weren't there.
Did they even care you were hurt?
It didn't make sense, that you were asking yourself this. When had things gotten this bad? How could they have let thing get this bad? It left you aching more than your injury, and you think that shouldn't even be possible.
When you get home, you find all the boys kitchen, a mess everywhere -much to Jin's despair- attempting to decorate what you assume is a cake. They're all focused to the point where they didn't hear you come in, and if they did, they're really good at acting like they didn't. You want to hide in your room, maybe ask Jin to hide with you, play into their ignorance, but the petty part in you is much quicker.
"Joanna doesn't like cake."
You speak without thinking about it first, and it's clear that none of them were expecting a comment like that, not even Jin, because their heads whip around instantly to you.
You panic for a little, thinking they'll get mad, but Hoseok and Yoongi start laughing at Namjoon's terrified face, at the maknae line looking like they're deer in headlights, and at Jin's round eyes.
Before you know it, They're all running up to you, and Seokjin has to grab you by the waist to make sure they don't knock you over.
They all speak at once, and you can only make out some things like "are you okay? what did the doctor say? im sorry." What cuts through all the rambling is Namjoon's smooth voice, sounding a bit exasperated as he speaks: "The cake is for you Y/N. We were making the cake for you."
Oh.
"Joon! You ruined the surprise!" Jimin stomps his feet, but you know he's not actually upset.
"Well we couldn't just let her think that we were baking a cake for fuckin Joanna!" Namjoon defends himself.
Yoongi steps in front of the two and turns to you, "It was supposed to be a 'Surprise / I'm sorry / We love you / Get well soon' cake but you got here before we finished."
His genuinely dejected demeanor makes you giggle, he looks like a sad cat.
"It's okay-"
"No it's not. Cake or not, we're all really sorry- hold on, we should sit down for this." Jungkook grabs your hand and leads you to the couch, the rest following suit.
You all sit in silence for a second before Hoseok speaks up:
"Well I guess I'll start." He sits up a little straighter so he's facing you directly, and you feel nerves run through you: was he upset? Was he going to scold you?
The guys seem to notice how you tense up, because Hoseok's face falls a into a small frown, while Jungkook scoots closer to you and Jin places a hand on your thigh.
"Y/N, I am so so sorry for the way we've been acting, and the way we haven't been acting. You got hurt under our watch, we should be the ones taking care of you, no questions asked, and we've failed to do that. There's really no excuse for how inattentive we've been. In our heads, or at least my head, I didn't really see you all day, so I thought that everything was okay because I still got to wake up to you, I still got to come home and feel comfortable knowing that you were here: we had your company. But I failed to return that company, we all failed to give you the bare minimum, and I truly am so sorry."
For the time you've know Hoseok, you've only seen him cry once or twice, so when you see tears start to fall from his eyes, it shakes you up and down. Before you can go console him, Jimin speaks up from where he sits beside Hoseok.
"Hobi's right, Y/N. We didn't pay you enough attention. We were too worried about ourselves to consider how our actions looked to you. The whole thing with Joanna, we did spend a lot of time with her, but even then, all we did was talk about you. Not in a bad way, obviously, but you just always came up in conversation. I don't know why I thought that talking about you would translate as 'we're still giving you our attention' as if you could read our thoughts or something. But again, we were selfish and careless, and I can't apologize enough for how we acted."
You appreciate Jimin's attempt at lightening up the mood, and you appreciate his words overall.
The next hour goes by in the same manner. The boys apologize one by one, not to just you, but to Seokjin as well, and before you know it, there's no one in the room that isn't crying, all of you a teary and snotty mess.
"We love you so much, Y/N. Please let us make it up to you. I love you so much." Yoongi's the last one to speak, and he finishes while walking up to you and bowing at your feet.
The rest of the guys join him, even Seokjin, and you don't know what else to do except throw yourself on the floor with all of them and cry.
The night ends with all of you cuddled up on the floor, until Namjoon and Jin make you all get up so you could go lay down properly.
They guys don't let you walk, no, Jungkook carries you while Taehyung and Jimin squish at his side in an attempt to stay close to you.
You all manage to squeeze into a single bed with you in the middle, hands everywhere trying to keep you close.
You feel warmer than you have in weeks, and meanwhile the guys do have a lot to make up for, with arms wrapped around you and sweet nothings floating in the room, you think this is a great start.
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stardustbuck · 2 months
Note
I feel like atp even if there were plans to make bvddie canon theyre gone now. if tim minear is even half as petty as I am he would see that reaction and go u know what fuck you u actually don't get what you want now cause ur acting so goddamn entitled. like when tarlos fans got mad about the deleted scenes instead of appreciating them being released and his reaction was to say "okay fine then I just won't release deleted scenes anymore" (like I'm sure it was mostly a marketing decision but part of me thinks they intentionally released a scene about bucktommy just to prove a point.) idk man it's just really upsetting as a bi man to see the absolutely vile shit bvddie stans are saying and even tho I love the ship I now never want it to go canon cause they've fuckin ruined it
hey anon, at first let me agree with the fact that i do in fact also love bvddie a lot and i still love reading fics for them, the edits of them are fantastic and the fanart is S tier. it’s a great pairing with a lot of potential there IF the writers decided to ever go there but…
huge answer below
yeah, i agree. i honestly think before tommy was introduced again in 7x03 and the kiss in 7x04 that in my brain, bvddie was the most logical endgame for buck until it wasn’t.
i came into the show shipping bvddie much like a lot of new fans to the show but instead of hopping onto the tommy anti express hate train i found myself falling in love with buck and tommy together. at first i was still on board with bvddie still being endgame but as each episode aired after 7x04 i became faced with the reality of the situation (at least the way i see it) that bvddie might always be fanon and that’s ok because fandom keeps ships alive whether they’re canon or not. some of the biggest ships EVER are non-canon (i mean, cmon spirk? one of the OG MM ships?) so it didn’t really deter me from enjoying bvddie to this day. what HAS deterred me from interacting with bvddie content is toxic bvddies. i don’t like using the lil nicknames, idc if other ppl do, whatever, but i prefer just referring to certain kinds as just toxic plain and simple.
toxic shippers have made it difficult for anyone who multiships to interact with bvddie content. while there are incredibly nice & welcoming bvddie endgamers out there, it doesn’t overshadow the hateful ones in my online experience at least. i’ve blocked so many ppl over this ship discourse, which ive never had to do with any other fandom before the extent i have with 911. everyday i still find new ppl to block, you go under almost any comment section on the 911 insta and its filled with nasty comments abt tommy and only caring abt whether bvddie will be canon in s8. people projecting their hatred of tommy/lou onto the cast/crew of the show when it’s be said and proven time and time again that it’s quite the opposite. now im certain there’s bad apples in the bucktommy side as well, but from what ive seen online so far it is not nearly to the caliber of the bvddie side. ive blocked maybe a handful of bucktommy’s for being hateful towards eddie or being toxic overall, but ive probably blocked over 100+ toxic bvddies. i can only imagine it’d be worse if i was active on 911 twt which i’m not (thank god) but i have ventured into the tags before on there and let me tell you, it’s fucking horrifying how gross ppl are over there. twt is a cesspool for fandom anyways tho, the fucking asshole of fandom, it’s a septic tank really.
now im my own opinion which could be completely untrue of course, but just basing my thoughts on what i’ve seen online and interviews and such, tim seems to be really happy about bucktommy and idk how ppl believe otherwise. tim has expressed he loves LFJ and wanted him back on the show. tim showed up on set for the kiss scene. tim posting an entire youtube vibe abt bucktommy being soulmates that touches on the invisible string theory and explains how they accidentally found buck’s perfect match. tim sharing the deleted tommy scene is also huge but im waiting to see if he releases more (because i remember seen somewhere that he said there’d be more?) and if he does then great but it’s also still pretty telling to me after the whole karaoke fiasco.
oliver has said nothing but praises towards buck’s queer storyline. he quite literally said if you dont like it then watch something else. despite ppl saying he’s never interacted with bucktommy content online, that’s a lie because he has liked fanart of them.
aisha, kenneth & tracie have all expressed how they like tommy/lou and love working with him.
jlh said she loved bvddie before but is excited to see where buck and tommy go and then on an insta live said she doesn’t think bvddie is happening and was bombarded by toxic fans to the point of ending the live early.
ppl think it’s all some ruse to make it seem like bvddie is never happening so when it does happen it’s a “surprise” ……..
the nasty hate comments are doing nothing but exposing these types of ppl for who they are and that honestly to them, 911 is just the bvddie show to them. the people who run these social media accs for 911 are looking at these comments and cringing, they aren’t running to tim and abc being like “we must give these crazies what they want!” they’re mostly likely being ignored or honestly, as you said, being looked at and just reinforcing their decision to most likely make tommy buck’s endgame so as long as his schedule is open for filming.
what gets me the most about the hate these types of shippers spew online is how they aren’t embarrassed because they are so sooo convinced they will be right one day and therefore their insane, nasty behavior online will be justified. oliver stark literally left twt because of fans like this, people act like he was joking around, that he was shooting the shit probably because “he’s british and british people just have that kind of humor” which yes to a certain extent but let me just add these posts to set an example to why if oliver were still on twt he absolutely would not be happy with the way toxic bvddies are acting right now.
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oliver (and ryan&other cast too) being positive abt bvddie never meant it was going to be canon of become canon one day. they do not decide these things, whether they believe it should or not. a lot of bvddie shippers come from previous fandoms where queerbaiting was there, where they were made fun of by actors of their ships, by the creators of the show! so i understand the frustration but oliver is not queerbaiting and buck is not a queerbait character when he quite literally is now confirmed bisexual and in a relationship with a man.
he’s just not the “correct” queer to these people. despite headcanons (hell even i hc eddie as queer!!) eddie so far, in canon, is not queer. by the end s7 he is still shown to not be over shannon and ruins his relationship with his son over this. ryan has stated in interviews he sees eddie as heterosexual, possibly pushing this because of the influx of ship discourse, and he’s glad to see a vulnerable and deep friendship that buck and eddie can have as a straight man and a queer man and how important he thinks it is.
every single thing that points to bvddie never going canon is like they’re being shot point blank in the chest. i get it, your ship not becoming canon sucks, but again, that is what fandom is for! shipping has never been about how canon smth is, there is 20k fics out there for bvddie and they aren’t canon. they can turn that into 40k, 100k, 1M if they really wanted to! instead they use their time and energy posting death threats, wishing death upon a gay character, bullying ppl online for enjoying a ship.
meanwhile from what ive seen bucktommys are rolling with goofy ass spy tommy theories created by antis and making jokes for our own fun.
so yes, i agree overall. they truly don’t deserve what they think they do. we didn’t whine and scream for a deleted scene. they did. we got ours without even expecting it and are having fun.
maybe if they behaved better i wouldn’t be so petty abt it. it’s a shame because of how much potential it has, unfortunately it is just not going that way atm. and even if it does one day, it is not because they paraded online with hate, it is because that’s the story tim and the others wanted to write and abc approved it.
🫳🎤
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dragonmama76 · 1 year
Text
Working on part 2 of Beginnings, but until then here’s a small interlude. You can read the first bit here Part One
“Are you excited to start high school?” Steve feels like every lame adult he’s ever known, but he’s been wanting to have this conversation for a while now, preferably before his gang of nerds walk unprepared into his alma mater.
“I mean, sure.” Dustin says. “They have an amazing media lab and the AP science teachers are supposed to be really good. It’s never too early to think about college! Uh, sorry Steve.”
“Alright, shut it. If I had a brain like yours maybe I’d be in college now.” Steve rolls his eyes affectionately.
“And I heard Nancy say there’s an after-school club for D&D, so that might be okay. I mean, it won’t be as good without Will there but…” Mike trails off, a frown settling on his face.
“Yeah, okay I guess your demons and dingbats thing could be good.” Steve feels vaguely uneasy. Something to do with that club...it probably doesn't matter.
“Well, I’m also trying out for the basketball team.” Lucas adds softly.
“My man!!” Steve grins and holds his hand up for a high five. “I’m around if you want to get some practice in before tryouts. And I've got an in with the coach if you want me to put in a good word for you.”
“Nice! I'm always up for more practice!" Lucas grins back matching Steve's enthusiasm.
"And nepotism," retorts Dustin.
"Okay, brain boy. I don't know what that is, but it sounds gross and we don't have it." Steve smirks and cocks his head before remembering this was supposed to be a serious conversation.
"Anyway...I just wanted to talk to you guys about sticking together and always having each-other's backs." Steve starts and Dustin, of course interrupts, "Obviously, Steve. Who do you think we are?"
"No, man, I know. It's just that it can be pretty intimidating and the bullying can be...more intense than what you're used to in Middle School." Steve conceeds.
"Like you'd know anything about being bullied!" snorts Mike, "You were the bully."
"Uh...well." Steve doesn't want to scare the kids, but he does want them to be prepared. "I was kind of an asshole for a while..."
"Ya think?" Dustin chimes in.
"Shut up and let me talk!" Steve says in his best mom voice. "I had to learn to be harder in school. My freshman year this older kid made me his target and it was pretty awful. It got so bad I didn't even want to go to school half the time."
"That really sucks, man." Lucas gives Steve a supportive look.
"Aw, what, did he call you names? Make fun of your hair?" Mike sneers. He can't help but run his mouth sometimes. He likes Steve well enough, but not like Dustin and Lucas do and he can't stand how they worship him sometimes. Steve isn't that great.
"Dude. He pulled a knife on me for like, no reason. I was fourteen."
"Woah" Dustin just exhales. "So like, is high school....dangerous?" All three boys are seriously paying attention now, eyes wide.
"Nah, not normally. Anyway, it got better once I was deep in with the guys on the basketball team. So I'm just saying. Find a group that has your back. And you guys look out for other kids too, all right? And tell ME if anyone bothers you. I've got a bat that can sort them out."
"Dude....you can't just nailbat a teenager." Dustin snorts.
"I dunno, squirt," Steve ruffles Dustin's hair and he yelps ducking away, "If I find out anyone is messing with you guys....well, maybe not the nail bat, but just...promise to tell me okay? I don't want anyone of you going through what I did."
"We promise." They all chime dutifully.
"Hellfire!" Mike shouts as they all turn to look at him like he's got three heads. "What?" he says, "That's the name of the club."
"Hellfire." Steve mutters. Why does that name make his stomach hurt? He'll probably remember later. Meanwhile he's glad his twerps are going to have a good support system when they start school.
Read Part One, Part Two, Part Three
Tag list (ask if you want to be tagged for the full part 2) @swimmingbirdrunningrock @phirex22 @lilpomelito @thaliaisalesbian
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queermania · 9 months
Note
I don't want to start drama and I don't expect you to respond to this but I think you deserve to know what's being said about you. tumblr. com/transfagbenny/738678589192552448/and-id-appreciate-if-we-stopped-using-the-terms
i actually am going to address this because this person has been lying about what's been going on for months and they've apparently been harassing other people for months if not years, so. it's time to put an end to this.
before i start though i want to make it abundantly clear that if you take this as an opportunity to do anything other than block this person, then you are trash. do not send him messages. do not tag him in things. do not harass him in any way. leave him alone. if you need to block, do so and then move on. hate mail and harassment is disgusting behavior and i don't want to be surrounded by anybody who engages in it. and if you do it on my behalf, i think you are worthless and i want nothing to do with you.
so, this is what happened: back in february of 2023, an anon asked me if i had any opinions that would get me canceled with the dean girlies. i replied, "oh now we’re talking!! hmmmm let’s see. i don’t care about benny at all. deanbenny does nothing for me. deanbenny is dust. it is dust. drowley rights forever" and i did not tag it because i'm not an asshole. bear then sent me a message that at the time i thought was funny/cute because his url reflected that he was obviously a huge benny fan. we had a very cordial exchange. everything was good. we chatted a little bit about how neat it would've been if benny had been played by a black actor and how the racism problem with gordon would've been fixed if gordon had been played by a white actor. not all of our conversation is visible anymore (and i also don't think all of it was on this post anyway) because i've since blocked him so his replies no longer show up on my posts. the point is: everything was fine. it was a good tumblr exchange. he continued to follow me. i did not follow him then or at any point.
the problem is that he kept coming onto my posts and into my inbox to try to make things about benny. that is not okay. i had already said that benny was a character (and deanbenny a ship) that i was not interested in. to me, this is an obvious boundary i've established that he repeatedly crossed. it's not an egregious violation, obviously. more than anything it's annoying. what he should've done, if benny was that important to him, was unfollow me and move on. but he didn't and i indulged him for awhile but at a certain point i thought, "okay maybe if i stop indulging him, he'll take the hint." so i stopped responding. he did not take the hint. he got worse and he even started commenting on things that he couldn't make about benny, just to willfully misinterpret things i said and taking them completely out of context. unfortunately, i don't have receipts for any of this because at the time i didn't know it was going to become an actual problem (however I have since learned that this is an established pattern of behavior he engages in, so you can probably find examples on other people's blogs).
it got so annoying, though, that i very carefully broached the subject in a private server with people i trusted. without naming any names or using any incriminating language (i.e. not specifically referencing benny), i basically said that there was someone being annoying about a specific character on my posts and i wasn't sure what to do about it. immediately, a handful of people replied with some variation of "the benny stan? he's been doing that to me too." i do have receipts of this (and an entire server to back me up) but i hope you can all understand why i'm not going to provide those or name names (or ask anyone to get involved publicly). the point is, it became apparent that i wasn't the only one and this was a pattern of behavior. i also learned during that conversation that bear has a history of harassing people and calling someone racist or a transphobe if they block him.
at that point, i decided not to rock the boat. i would just continue to ignore him and maybe he would get bored and move on. well that obviously didn't happen. he kept doing it and as a fun added bonus, he started to make vague posts about me. the thing is i don't actually care if he vagueblogs about me. it's his blog. he can do whatever he wants. it's none of my business. i mean i personally think he should've just unfollowed but, again, his blog, his choice. it is annoying that every single time he would do it, someone would send me a link or a screenshot of him doing it, but that's not really his fault. so, again, i just ignored it.
this is where we get to the incident in question. after a private discussion among a small group of friends, i posted this obviously joke poll at the insistence of @letterstothedevil, a tumblr user who has given me permission to include her in this.
the original message about the poll:
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the permission:
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now EYE think it's abundantly clear that the poll was a joke amongst friends, but maybe it wasn't, and i'm not going to fault anyone for not magically knowing that. i am, however, totally willing to fault someone for being a gigantic asshole. bear commented on the post and i, admittedly, gave a somewhat dismissive response because at that point i was so tired of him being willfully obtuse and twisting every little thing i said that i just didn't want to bother. he then went and made a series of not-at-all-vague posts calling me racist and claiming that i simply do not care about the racism in the show and it's obvious because i've never ever discussed it on my blog (which is a hilarious lie given that i'd specifically discussed it on my blog with him). at that point, there was no reason not to block him. he was already doing the thing that i didn't want to deal with. so i did. and i thought that would be the end of it.
again, i was wrong.
i then started to get anon messages daily about benny and deanbenny and how i'm racist for not liking benny, etc. this was harassment that EYE was on the receiving end of. nobody else was a victim of the messages i was being sent. they were sent to me and it is not my job to make sure other people are protected from the harassment that i am experiencing. i'm pointing this out for two reasons: 1. because i did try to protect bear from it for awhile anyway. i knew that people would assume it was him and at the time i was still giving him the benefit of the doubt, if for no other reason than the fact that i didn't think he could send me messages since i blocked him. and 2. because when i did finally start to respond to some of the messages, bear acted like he was somehow the victim in all of this (and continues to act that way to this day).
i don't know if bear had (or currently has) anything to do with any of the messages i get (which, thankfully, have slowed considerably). what i do know is that at no point during any of this happening did he stop looking at my blog and vagueblogging about me.
when i finally did answer a few of the messages, bear had a bit of a meltdown about it. i know this because he used a separate account that i hadn't know existed to message me and because he talked to one of my friends about it. (i'm not going to name that person but if they want to get involved publicly of their own accord, that's up to them lol). i'm also not going to share screenshots of what bear said to me because he explicitly asked me not to (it's also the reason i'm not sharing screenshots of the numerous receipts i have of the things he's said and lied about on his blog but, unless he's deleted any of them, you can go and find the posts yourselves.) what i am going to share is that in the message he sent to me, he flat out lied about his behavior. he told me he hadn't been vague-blogging about me, that he would never ever do that about anyone, and that he would certainly never harass someone (all things that i have receipts of him doing).
it took me awhile to respond to this message because i was still trying to be gracious about the whole situation. i recognize that he is much younger than i am and i think it's important for me, as a full blown adult, to take that into account. i had a private discussion with a few trusted friends about how to handle this because it was important to me to not let him off the hook for his behavior and for lying just because he's young. this is what i ended up saying:
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his response was to double-down on his lies (while, hilariously, vague-blogging about me and the whole thing) and then go into victim mode about something so completely unrelated and far-fetched that i decided i simply wanted nothing to do with him ever. (this is when he asked me not to share screenshots, so i won't, but this is me saying that i have ALL of the receipts, bear, so if you continue to lie, you will not like what happens.) i blocked his alternate account and tried to ignore him.
the harassment continued. again, i have no idea if he was actually part of it. the vagueblogging continued. he started to do it to other people he associated with me. many of them blocked him because of his behavior. i continued to answer some of the hate i received, continued to ignore and/or block most of it. it got so bad that i was sent seizure bait on more than one occasion, one time bad enough that i actually ended up going to the ER. there are receipts of all of this, too. you can see on my blog the messages i've been sent. i think at one point i even shared a snapshot of what my inbox looked like. i've shared privately with friends (who can confirm if they want to, but no pressure) screenshots of the kinds of messages i get that i don't respond to. the point is, that for a period of months, i was relentlessly harassed. and at no point during this time did i say anything to or about bear (or anyone else). the most i've done is respond to messages that have been sent to me. i've largely sat quietly while this thing happened to me and bear continued to make posts about me and act like he is somehow a victim in this. he's assumed things about me and my identity. he's violated boundaries i've set. he will not let this go. and i'm not the only one he's doing it to.
i'm so fucking tired of it. leave me alone. leave my blog alone. leave my friends alone. leave any and all of the people who have blocked you for your own inappropriate and obnoxious behavior alone. that's it. that's the end. none of this would be happening if you would just respect other people's boundaries. i don't want you on my blog. i do not want to interact with you. i don't want anything to do with you. that's it. the end.
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butchcarmy · 5 months
Note
hi tuna! i was wondering if you could write something where carmy and reader are at a house party and either one of them is sitting on the roof smoking a joint and the other finds them up and there joins them? thank u in advance <3
YES. I really loved this prompt... so here ya go!
word count: 1.4k
content tags: smoking, substance use, first meetings
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Parties like this aren't usually your scene. 
It's not like you can't appreciate it as a bystander—you suppose there's an appeal to music so loud you can't hear your own thoughts. There are certainly some days where you want to lose yourself in a crowd, drunk and careless. Today is not one of those days. 
You can't quite remember how your friend convinced you to come to their party. It'll be fun, they promised, a nice change of pace. It is a nice change of pace, sure. It's different from sitting by yourself at home, but…
Now you're just sitting by yourself at someone else's home, smoking a joint on their porch. 
This is more your pace. You're relaxed into one of your friend's water stained outdoor chairs, feet propped up on a low table. This is about all you can handle today—slow drags of weed and the sound of summer bugs in the trees. The sound of the party lays muffled behind you, sealed by the porch door. 
The noise of the music and dancing inside becomes sharp for a moment as you hear the door opening. You look over your shoulder to see someone you don't recognize hastily stepping out. He seems frazzled, brushing back the brown waves in his face back with his hand. He also seems very…handsome.
“Sorry, didn't know anyone was out here,” is the first thing he says. He has a nice voice, low and smooth. And nervous, you notice. 
“It's cool. It's not like I own the porch.” You shrug, taking another inhale from your sizzling joint. You had hoped that your comment would loosen the tension that'd tied knots all in his face, but it doesn't. He just laughs breathlessly back, short and shaky. “Not a party person?”
“Not really.” He pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket. That's when you notice the tattoos on his hands, emblazoned across the backs and his knuckles. Pretty. “You?”
“Sometimes. But not today.” That works—you see him visibly relax, even if just a little bit. “My friend invited me—it's their party—but I, I don't know. I guess I thought I'd be up for it, but…” You shrug. “And now I'm here.”
“I see. I get that. Uh—” He pauses, taking a slow hit from his white cigarette. “My coworkers, um, they invited me. I didn't wanna be an asshole, so I came, but…” He sighs. “Yeah. Now I'm here.”
“Tough.” You nod at the empty seat next to you. “Seat's open, if you want it.”
“Thanks.” He takes the seat next to you. This is when you really take notice of his muscles, especially his biceps and pecs wrapped tightly in that white t-shirt of his. A burst of attraction rushes through you.
“Uh—” You should keep talking. Distract yourself from his, uh, everything. “Do you smoke?” He gives you a funny look, eyes glancing towards his cigarette. “Fuck, I mean, do you smoke weed? Sorry, I'm a little high.”
“It's cool.” He's actually smiling now. It's a nice smile. “Yeah, not often, but I do.”
“Well.” You extend your hand towards him, offering him the joint. “You can have some of this if you want. Might help you relax. No pressure, of course.”
“...Actually, yeah. That'd be nice. Thank you.” He takes the joint from you with his other hand. Now he's got a cigarette in one and a joint in another. You both share an amused, knowing look. “You smoke cigs?”
“Sometimes. Here, let's trade.” He hands you his cigarette. “Not that there's anything wrong with dual-wielding. Take one hit off the joint, and then off the cig…”
“Dual-wielding,” he repeats, laughing under his breath. You chuckle, entertained by the thought and his reaction. You don't mean to watch him as he brings the joint up to his lips and pulls, but you do anyway. You're not sure if him smoking a cigarette or a joint looks more attractive. 
“I feel like we should know each other's names now.” You know it sounds a bit forward, but the high's making you brave. You introduce yourself to him. “And your name is?”
“I'm Carmen.” Of course even his name is pretty. “Most people just call me Carmy, though.”
“Carmy.” You can't help your smile. “That's cute. Do you have a preference?”
“Uh—” He looks good with a little bit of pink on his cheeks. “Carmy's fine.”
“Okay, then. Carmy it is.” 
You two develop a rhythm. You trade the joint and cigarette back and forth, inhaling puffs of weed and tobacco back to back. Intimate is not quite the right word to describe it, but you're not sure if there's a better word for it. You definitely feel something of a connection pulling the both of you closer together. You even think that somehow, the space between your seats is shrinking too.
“I used to smoke more weed back in college,” Carmy says. The joint's almost finished by now, and with it, you both become a lot more loose-lipped. He's staring into the distance like he's remembering something. “You ever green out?”
“Oh yeah, plenty of times.” You laugh to yourself, shaking your head. “Back when I first started smoking—well, I started with edibles.”
“As does everyone.”
“Yeah, and it's stupid. It's way too easy to go overboard with edibles.”
“Seriously. I've only ever had edibles once, and. Well.”
“Ah…It was bad, I take it?”
“Yep.” He laughs quietly, and the infectious sound of it makes you smile. “It was awful. I even threw up.”
“Oh no,” you gasp. “That's how you know it's bad. I've managed to stop myself from throwing up, but I've definitely felt like I was dying a couple times.”
“Oh, of course. As it goes.” You both chuckle. “I thought my tolerance was high enough. It wasn't that many milligrams, but I guess my body hated it.”
“It happens.” The cigarette dies out in your hands, burned right down to the filter. You snub it out on the arm of your chair. “I used to enjoy edibles, but ever since I greened out real bad one time, I just can't do them anymore. They just wreck my shit.”
“Maybe that's for the best.” He puts out the joint too. “Just stick to regular lung damage like the rest of us.”
“Lessons learned, I guess.” You grin. A comfortable pause settles. “...Carmy?”
“Yeah?”
“We've smoked it all. Everything.”
“I have some more cigarettes if you want one.”
“No, no…” You lean forward, propping your elbows on your knees. He instinctively mirrors you, sitting up in his chair. “It's all gone.”
“Oh. Well.” He tilts his head to the side. “What should we do now?”
“We could sit here and suffer. Or…” You rest your chin in the palms of your hands, cradling your face. “I could roll us another joint back at my place.”
“Oh.” Looks like it clicked. His blue eyes are widened with surprise.
“You don't have to,” you say quickly, “really. But I've been having a good time with you, and I…I like you. I think you're cute.” Ordinarily, you wouldn't be this forward, but you swear you feel something here. “Sorry if this is—too much.”
“No, not at all,” he replies, just as quick. “Don't apologize. Please. I just—” He fumbles, making a vague hand gesture. “This has been really, really nice. You're so easy to talk to, and I, I'm not used to that.” He smiles at you, shy and adorable. You're momentarily gripped with something akin to cuteness aggression, but you keep it under wraps. “I…I like you. A lot. I'd love to go to your place.”
“Yeah?” He nods. “Okay. Cool. Um…” You feel your insides jumbling all over each other. “Sorry, now I'm getting all flustered.”
“It's okay.” His smile blossoms further, turning into something radiant. “I like it. You're cute.” You make a small noise at that.
“Smooth talker.” You stand up from your seat, and he looks up at you momentarily before following suit. “I'm just down the block. Up for a walk?”
You don't bother telling your friend you're leaving. The two of you chat and laugh all the way to your place, your voices echoing down the quiet road. Turns out your friend was right after all—the party turned out to be very, very fun. 
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corn-fanfiction · 10 months
Note
Mark Hoffman fluff?
Ask and ye shall receive, dear Anon.
Rating: M
Tags: language, drugs n alcohol, Eric Matthews being himself, fluff (I tried anyway), some descriptions of facial wounds
Not an Asshole (Mark Hoffman x GN!Reader)
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"Ah!"
You suck air through your teeth and cradle an ice pack against one side of your head while thick yet curiously nimble fingers work at the laceration on the other side. Mark has removed his suit jacket and rolled up his sleeves. Things would be different if your vision wasn't still skewed from the tussle. For one, you'd be fixing your wound yourself. Also... you'd be able to better glimpse at Mark's face while he focuses on his work. His brow furrows differently than normal when he focuses, like the usual scowl is a front and this is him in his element.
"Am I gonna have to report this?" he grumbles, setting aside a bloodied alcohol wipe and readying a suture.
"I'm probably the last person you wanna ask."
"Why?"
He's mumbling, clearly looking to fill the silent space. You indulge him.
"Because you know what I'm gonna say."
"That I shouldn't report it?"
"Yep."
"You broke a pretty strict code of conduct," he murmurs so quietly it almost registers as a hum.
You had, in fact, broken quite a few codes of conduct, and in public no less. There's a reason you're in your apartment and not the hospital.
"He had it coming."
Mark 'tsked'. "Still."
You smirk. He agrees with you.
"Get that smile off your face. He's gonna run straight to the chief and tell. I give you a day, if that. Hold still; this is gonna hurt."
You clench your teeth and grip your whiskey glass so hard you're afraid it might shatter in your hand, and then Mark will have even more to clean up. He begins your sitches and you take a shaky sip.
"Still," he scolds you like you're a disobedient animal. You roll your eyes.
"Just take me out back and shoot me."
"You're so dramatic. They're stitches."
"Yeah, and they fucking hurt."
"Well, you fucking earned em, didn't you, Ace?"
Ace. Your nickname, or rather, his nickname for you. Because no one else called you Ace. It started out mean, critical. You were, after all, a rookie, and he your mentor. He was allowed to say basically whatever he wanted to you, and in the beginning, he did. He said things that had you crying in your car as soon as you were out of sight. Any stress, he took out on you. Even the shit that probably wasn't even related to work- it ended up on your shoulders.
It was like that for a while. Then, something changed.
To put it simply, you had saved his life. He was caught unawares, him, and you managed to talk the perpetrator down. More than that, you'd been stupid, deliberately putting yourself in harm's way just to save Hoffman from a beating or maybe a bullet.
So you're Ace. Hotshot, hotheaded. Everything Mark was before you entered the picture. Now, he finds himself taking on some kind of new role to balance you out, though he's not exactly sure what it is or how much he likes it.
"Not my proudest moment, admittedly," you say with a pained groan as Mark pulls the sitches through.
"I'd really hope a bar fight with Eric Matthews was not your proudest moment, no."
"It wasn't a bar fight."
"Ace-"
"It was outside the bar and he threw the first punch."
"He missed."
"Yeah, the first swing."
"I don't feel like arguing about this- hold still unless you wanna lose an eye."
Begrudgingly, you seal your mouth as he manages the last stitch. He pulls a particularly sensitive piece of skin, or maybe sends the needle a little too deep because you hiss and shoot a hand out to clutch his leg.
"Sorry," he mutters. You can't see him, but you feel his eyes hot on your hand and you pull it away, trying and failing to mumble an apology of your own. Even though he's literally sewing your skin closed, the hand to thigh contact is somehow the most intimate thing that's ever happened.
And you have to admit: you maybe had the occasional fantasy about Mark. It couldn't be helped. He's a man in a position of power and you have enough childhood whatever that it has a certain draw. But in any of those fantasies, it's you playing doctor to him. He's the more notorious hothead, after all.
"You're probably mad I'm stealing your title," you half joke. He snips the suture and dabs at it lightly with a fresh alcohol wipe.
"Oh yeah? You think you're gonna make head detective?"
The first part of your response is a gut reaction. "God no. I meant as the biggest asshole in the precinct."
His hands slow, and for a moment, though you're still coming down from your near blackout-level of drunkenness, you're scared you offended him.
"You're not an asshole, Ace. Well, maybe sometimes. But your heart's in the right place."
You're never one for serious or genuine conversations. You always want to leave a conversation with a joke or snarky remark. But here, now...
"And yours isn't?"
After a moment, he sighs and turns himself away. You're sitting on your kitchen counter and he's on a barstool. Even with these levels, he's as tall as you. You kick your legs as he stands.
"This isn't about me."
You hop down from the counter. "I think it is about you as much as it is about me."
He shoots you a grim look. "How do you figure that?"
"Come on. Matthews is pissed that you're good at your job, and by extension, I'm occasionally good at my job."
"That's vanity," he quips.
"But am I wrong?"
He struggles for a moment, caught between lying versus telling you that you're right. He says neither.
"Not the point."
He removes his gloves and tosses them in the trash, along with the wipes and leftover sutures. There's a moment of silence, of him watching you as you retrieve the whiskey and refilling your glass.
"Want one?" You ask.
"Sure."
You get another glass and pour. Like it's a strange instinct, you touch glasses before drinking.
"To being the two biggest assholes in the precinct," he says. You half expect the phrase to be some sort of sad, but he says it with a small smile, as if to say 'yes, we are, and that's just the way it'll have to be.'
You don't mind the idea.
You down your whiskey and pour another glass.
"Slow down there, Ace. How many painkillers have you taken?"
Honestly? You don't remember.
"...some. I'm fine."
To prove just how fine you are, you push yourself from the counter and immediately stumble.
"Alright," Mark sighs and sets his glass on the counter. "Where you trying to go?"
"Couch," you point. It would seem that yes, most of the substances you've ingested in the past two hours are combining at once.
Mark comes and hovers a guiding hand at your lower back to move you to the couch. You make it, plopping down and grabbing the remote.
"Whaddya wanna watch?" You ask, not quite slurring your words but definitely not enunciating them.
"I really oughta get home, let you rest."
"Noooo!" You groan. "At least not right now. What if I have a concussion? I can't sleep, right?"
Panic starts to creep in. You have been a little irresponsible tonight.
"And the drinking, and the meds- holy shit..."
You get woozy, start to fall on your bad side and Mark catches you and sits you up.
"Okay, where's the bathroom?"
You wave your hand to the hallways behind you and he leaves. Distantly, through your haze you hear Judge Judy on the tv. Mark returns with a cold wash cloth and the small trashcan from the bathroom.
"Here," he hands you the cloth and you set it on the back of your neck. Mark sets the bin by your feet. He straightens up and gets a good look at the state of you.
"Well, now I'm worried about you passing out."
And now you feel guilty about keeping him here.
"You're fine," you mumble. "Don't wanna keep you here."
Mark sighs, looks around the room, then looses his collar, undoes the first two buttons of his shirt.
"Scoot," he instructs, and you move yourself to one side of the couch. Mark kicks off his shoes and sits beside you.
"I'm staying until we're certain you won't overdose in the middle of the night. Deal?"
You would verbally respond but you're getting sleepy. You nod.
"Hey, wake up. Can't sleep yet."
"Whynot."
"Concussion."
You turn so your body is facing inwards, towards Mark. You toss the remote onto his lap.
"Pick something."
"This is fine."
"No, you hate reality TV."
"How do you know?"
"You told me once," you mumble with your eyes closed. You roll your head back and forth to keep awake.
"Oh," he says. "Well, I don't mind this one."
You crack an eye open. "You like Judy?"
He doesn't respond, just purses his lips.
You're not in your right mind. That's what you tell yourself every day since this night because it's the most dignified way you can justify your next move.
You've pulled your socked feet up on the couch and start nudging Mark's leg with your toes. His head swivels towards you.
"What?"
You clear your throat and squeeze your eyes shut to let a stab of pain pass.
"Lap."
When he realizes what you want, Mark sighs and moves his arm so you can swing your feet onto his thigh, snuggling even closer. He tenses, but doesn't move.
"You're not an asshole," you mumble. Your forehead gets closer to his shoulder.
"Yeah, I am."
"Not to me."
"I used to be."
"I know," you yawn. "I forgive you."
As you fall asleep, you think you might hear an apology slip through his lips.
-
When you wake up the next morning, Mark's gone. But you wake up on your side, covered in a blanket, the trash can placed strategically by your head. On your coffee table is a glass of water and two painkillers. And next to them is a sticky note.
Ace,
eat first. Don't take on an empty stomach.
-Mark
You smile and chug the water, then take the pills anyway. Your stitches ache, and your brain pulses against your skull, but you grip the note tightly in your hand, content to slip it into a drawer somewhere and 'forget' to throw it away.
Yep. Maybe an asshole. But not last night. Not today.
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Sorry if it's OOC but Mark's not a super fluffy guy. This seemed like a natural-ish way to play it. Thanks for the req, anon!!
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pawberri · 2 months
Note
ok, so i just saw an anti-dni post talking about how having a dni list in bio is purposeless and annoying since it is like a 'holding a sign saying "do not kick me." ' now, i find that perspective objectionable (since obtaining a block list might be what is desired anyways and not all dni reasons have to be extremely polarizing, e.g., i dont think a minors dni will suddenly make a billion minors annoyed, making them interact w/ you immediatly) and i have a slight feeling that you disagree with that point of view too because uhhhhh.
so what i wanted to know was whether you share the same reasons to oppose that perspective, and, if not, then, what are they?
I have been getting really annoyed with the backlash to dnis... I think it's goofy when some person has a dni with a million things, but it feels reactionary to me to say "it makes no sense for you to put your boundaries and expect people to follow them." There's especially this vibe with people who post more extreme content getting mad at dnis. I think that's weird. Partially, people seem to take them as like... a sign of moral superiority or hatred... rather than just a little bit of clarity on boundaries. These people talk about "curating your online space" but have to make these posts ranting about people who do it in a way they dislike. I especially think it's dumb to say, "Just block me, why do I have to not interact with you?" because... I mean, you can't block someone you don't know exists. It's meant to be a preemptive expression of boundaries, so the other party has the chance to block you and / or just not interact.
I know that, in practice, some people have really silly, long dnis that are linked on some weird carrd that takes forever to read. I don't think it's fair to strawman the concept of expressing some of your boundaries online in a digestible format as being stupid because of that, though. Especially when a lot of the people with silly dnis are teenagers just trying to figure their life out. They'll grow out of it. It's fine.
I also think it's weird and victim blame-y to say people will naturally be harassed if they give any kind of indication of their boundaries. I sometimes get mean anons, but for the most part, my experience online is way better because I am upfront about things. I don't get too personal or say things I'm uncomfortable sharing, but I make my boundaries clear. Even when I was a teenager and getting harassed by redditors, I never had stuff I asked to be trigger tagged used against me like people fearmonger about. (I'm sure it can happen, but I think that for most people, it just results in their social circle tagging stuff for them.) Even if that did happen, I think it would cruel to say that it was my fault for daring to express a boundary. If you kick the guy who says "do not kick me", you're still being bully and a contrarian asshole. Even if I didn't express a boundary, people like that would likely harass me. If I don't express a boundary for the sake of avoiding harassment, I get in exchange an audience that will constantly be shocked and fight with me about my beliefs when they show. Then, that creates either an unpredictable level of harassment or the feeling of being harassed because I'm constantly in discourse with my followers. At best I feel miserable and hate interacting with my followers.
I think this partially comes from people who are afraid to express their boundaries for fear of backlash (ie they want to make extreme content but fear saying so will make their followers mad), but honestly I think being straight forward makes your audience more curated. The people I see who post extreme content and are clear about it seem to have an easier time than people who build an audience of a bunch of unsuspecting people and then slowly introduce untagged incest kink or something. Not saying it's a guaranteed anti-harassment tool, but I don't understand the impulse to warn for nothing and have no clear boundaries with your audience, then get mad you curated the audience you curated. I hope it doesn't come across as me victim-blaming in the opposite direction, I don't think anyone deserves harassment regardless of if I disagree with what they post online. I kind of just mean to illustrate a counter example to the idea of the dni-haver making themself a target or inherently Being A Harasser.
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tenthousandyearsx · 1 year
Text
Thanks so much for tagging me @wolfpants, I loved reading yours! I've pretty much only published lots of PWPs so far, and while I loved writing every single fic I've posted, self-recs always feel a bit weird. x_x Anyway, I'll give it a go!
Rules: Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙
​‎ㅤ
Passably Wrecked (Drarry, E, 4.6k)
“Potter,” Malfoy says, sitting down next to him at breakfast. “I think we should have sex.”
Starting with this one because it's fairly recent and I don't think I've shared it here! Malfoy expresses scepticism about Harry's sexual prowess. Harry is having none of it.
​‎‎ㅤ
Keep your hands on me (Drarry, E, 21k)
Malfoy binds himself with a sex curse. Harry cannot get enough (but would much prefer to keep Malfoy for himself).
Still the filthiest thing I've written imo – it's 21k of smut and I didn't self-censor at all, but I ~think~ I consider it porn with character development rather than pwp. I wrote the whole thing in a daze, which is my favourite way to write when the muses allow – and to my absolute astonishment (I was sure it was going to get hate), it tends to get my favourite comments too. ​‎‎ㅤ
Just a trial run (Drarry, E, 9k)
Potter in his living room was a novelty and Draco could not take his eyes off him. He fixed both of them a drink, handed Potter his Firewhisky, then sat on the sofa. “From Saviour to Auror to whore,” he said. Potter choked on his drink. “Tell me, Potter, how does that happen?” In which Harry wants to get into sex work and Draco would prefer to keep him for himself.
I'm very fond of this fic and this Draco. I wrote it while I was working on KYHOM because I wanted to try a somewhat similar premise with the opposite dynamic, with top Draco and a more submissive Harry. It has both a paid sex kink and alcohol kink, which I have no idea where they came from, and while I've been postponing doing some proper edits on the second chapter, I absolutely loved writing it. ​‎‎ㅤ
Trouble with your tie, Potter? (Drarry, E, 6.7k)
The last thing Harry expects when Slughorn partners him up with Zabini is Malfoy shooting them furious looks throughout the whole class and then unceremoniously snogging Harry in the corridor.
My Erised fic from last year! I was actually working on something else entirely, a much longer fic that fizzled and died on me halfway through. I have a self-imposed rule that the energy of a story has to be right and has to be such that the story drives itself – and, specifically for fic, that if I don't enjoy writing it, there's no point in doing it. So when writing a fic becomes a slog, I just go back and delete mercilessly. It still didn't help in this case though x_x, so I started writing "Trouble with your tie" instead, which was an absolute joy to work on and I'm so happy I did. There are some parts I still think I'll probably rewrite at some point, but I really loved writing H and D's dynamic here. Even though I don't agonise over my prose when I write fic, I am super careful about the energy I'm putting out and especially the feeling I'm leaving the reader with at the end, so I'm really happy they hit the mark in this case. ​‎‎ㅤ
Not very gallant (initial Dronarry but endgame Dron, E, 3.3k)
“He likes it when I hurt him,” Harry tells Ron with a smirk. “And then you come in and soothe him.”
I wanted to include a non-drarry fic so here's a very recent one! I think I probably could have done more with it, but I loved writing Ron in this. Please mind the tags!!! Everything is super undernegotiated!!! It's endgame Dron, but Harry is perfectly fine with it. I should also probably mention that Harry is a bit of an asshole in this fic compared to the way I usually write him, but because I usually write Drarry and wanted this to be endgame Dron, I had to find a way for the dynamic to be in character, hot, and sexually charged, but not in a way that made me ship drarry too much. I'm also usually not good with threesomes or poly relationships because I always feel like someone is left out x_x, so I tried to put my own spin on it. This is what worked for me and I loved writing it! Do not expect considerate behaviour for like... most of it though.
Tagging @crazybutgood , @magpiefngrl , @orange-peony , @lumosatnight and anyone who'd like to join!
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zgvlt · 2 years
Text
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CRUSH x CRASH ruggie bucchi x reader
summary: Ruggie, your fake boyfriend, is your date to yet another wedding.
tags: gender neutral reader, sfw, fluff + attempt at humor, 3.1k+ words, not beta read
author's notes (see end for more): i was in a bit of a writer's slump with some newer stuff i was working on, so i picked an older draft to finish. i'm glad it worked out in the end for me. anyway, if this is something that bothers you, reader does not talk about getting married :) the setting is just a wedding
[you can also read this on AO3]
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Ruggie likes weddings more than most people. Sure, lots of people find them awfully stuffy, terribly expensive, a huge waste of time, but not Ruggie—even if he does think a lot of them are too fancy shmancy for their own good! Like, what’s with the wedding industry being so costly? Does it seriously cost that much money to rent a venue? Why do dresses and tuxes cost an arm and a leg? Are the to-be-weds actually expected to pay for the flights of their guests if they’re coming out of town?
That aside—he’s not planning a wedding so those questions have nothing to do with him!—Ruggie adores weddings, enough to crash them and celebrate with the newlyweds! 
Not that he crashes them, not at all in technical terms, has not really needed to considering you were more than willing to invite him as your plus-one for every event with catering or an all-you-can-eat buffet, all events including weddings! Birthdays and gender reveals were all fine and dandy too, but sometimes those adult party games could get embarrassing, even if they had some snazzy (and usually practical!) prize to be won.
But really, none better than a good wedding.
So sure, maybe tuxedos weren’t exactly his style—he’s worn the same one to pretty much every wedding, but guys tend to get passes on that sort of thing—but it’s really not that bad having to dress up every, what, once or twice a month… and sure, maybe he’s a bit selective with the wedding speeches he actually finds sweet, but he has the decency to clap after each and every one (and even let out a whistle or holler if the atmosphere is casual enough!)
There was also the issue that maybe some of the time that should have been spent chatting up other guests was spent discreetly putting food in the tupperware for him to take home—not like most of them would have finished the food anyway! It would be a waste if it had just gone in the trash!—but he’s the first to ask and lead you to the floor when you seem like you’re in the mood for dancing.
So okay, maybe he doesn’t like every aspect of the arrangement (it’s hard to care about it 100% when most of the attendees are strangers or acquaintances at most) but, well, you were his friend and there was bound to be good food, especially the more extravagant weddings, so attend he shall.
“What color do I have ‘ta wear? Don’t wanna be stared at like I’m the asshole for not following some dumb dress code.”
Like, why the hell would guests have to wear certain colors or prints? Wasn’t it good as long as you didn’t outshine the bride(s) or however the rule went? As if he could even wear something glamorous and bling bling enough for that to happen anyway.
“Sunrise colors, so probably red and orange and yellow… maybe blue as well?” 
Excellent, Ruggie thought, absolutely excellent, considering he actually owned a yellow tie!
No need for renting, no need to borrow one from Leona (again), no need to ask Kalim, who would have probably sent him a bunch of way too expensive ties with exquisite patterns and stitching, and definitely no need to ask some other guy who would probably ask for a favor or something which, no thank you, he’ll just break the dress code and play dumb.
“I’ll go wear yellow, then,” Ruggie announced, just in case you wanted to, well, match or something. Wouldn’t be the first time (and the first time was a complete accident!) so he could probably handle the teasing… probably.
“Ah, one more thing,” he asked, suddenly remembering something—his part of the deal when it came to attending these events with you. “So our, y’know, our usual—do we have to do that there too?”
“Hmm? Do what, Ruggie?” you asked, feigning forgetfulness. 
With how many different occasions he’s accompanied you to over the past year (this would be the seventeenth, and the year was still a few months away from ending), not to mention the amount totaling from all the years he’s known you, he knew that you were very well aware of what he was talking about.
“Y’know…! Pretend that me and you, you know, that we’re… Oi! Can your laughter, you’re at fault here!”
He gave in anyway, only because he still found himself embarrassed whenever it was brought up. It was easier once he was settled in, but the process was still… yeah. 
Honestly, he doesn’t really have much of a (valid, not embarrassing to say) excuse for how and why the whole ordeal still flustered him even after how many years has passed since the arrangement—it just does. 
Well, okay, there’s an actual reason, but best not to speak it into existence in case you find out and make fun of him for that too.
He just has to be satisfied knowing that in some ways, he gets the best of you as well.
“Sorry, sorry!” you said, appeasing him with your laughter, “No, no, there’s no need to pretend we’re dating this time! The groom is pretty chill about the invites, so it’s no big deal if I bring a friend along.”
“Cool, cool,” he replied, not really feeling any smidge of the relief you were expecting him to. He feigned a sigh anyway, just to pretend he did. “‘S not that it’s a big deal if I had to.”
“Of course not,” you agreed, “must be like a second skin at this point, huh?”
He scratched the back of his neck as he laughed.
“Ah, yeah, somethin’ like that!”
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Second skin might have been the right way to describe it, though Ruggie’s beginning to realize that there are problems as well with how natural everything’s become between the two of you. 
This whole fake dating business seemed like all pluses at the start—hanging out with and getting to go to snazzy events with a friend, eating good food, getting all the perks of socializing without having to make too many promises and commitments. Those were all pretty fantastic, really!
The issue is, though, that once you become someone’s fake significant other, you simply can’t stop fake dating them because of the mutual friends and acquaintances you happen to share with the other person. The degrees of separation have decreased significantly since becoming your go-to partner to these things.
“Ruggie! It’s so good to see you!” He gets scooped up into a tight hug—if his personal space is gonna get invaded, can they at least mind the tail?!—by some person he attended the wedding of some months ago. What was their name again…? 
“Yeah, good to see ya too, man!” Well, he can’t say he’s all that upset about seeing a sort of familiar face or two, especially a face of a genuinely generous person, but he’s not sure he has much to say, really. Other than your mutual friends, he mostly lets you or the other people decide what to talk about and he sort of just improvs from there. If he ends up getting asked about work and life and such, he’d end up drawing a blank (too hectic and too little he’d be willing to say to an almost stranger).
“Since you’re here, it probably means you’re still dating my cousin, huh?” 
The person he had been talking to before the interruption—the groom of today’s affair—was momentarily confused, before grinning at the revelation.
“Wait, seriously?”
“Yeah? Did Ruggie not tell you he’s the S.O. of…?”
Basically, people know him as your boyfriend, and he will be introduced as your boyfriend even when neither of you had the intention of pretending that day for the sake of not blowing your cover. 
Like, it’s not as if he’s gonna fake break up with you or anything anytime soon, so spreading the fake news it is!
Really, ain’t he just such a good friend for keeping up the act to the best of his abilities? Not that it was all that hard or nothing, it’s kind of just like lighting a match—after a few flicks, it’s already registered in his brain that he’s supposed to be your date. 
“I thought the two of you were just friends?” The groom wiggled his eyebrows in the way annoying adults tended to when they felt like teasing the children in the village about their crushes. 
Except Ruggie was already a few years past drinking age so he doesn’t really feel like playing into that game, even if the guy’s your friend. He’ll just answer quickly and move on (back to you, and maybe the buffet table as well).
“Shishishi… It’s an inside joke we love to tell people,” he explains, a well-practiced excuse at this point. “Started out because people kept telling us we’d make a pretty good couple not knowing we were already dating, so we kinda just committed to the bit!”
Yeah right! The irony of it all, if that was the right category it fell into.
“So this has been going on for a while then, huh!”
“Yeah, something like four years, one month, and eight days,” of fake dating, Ruggie said nonchalantly, like it was no big deal that he’s been keeping himself single for all that time so he can continue to fake date you. He’s just never felt the compulsion to stop, and clearly you haven’t either considering you’ve been single all that time as well!
“You can’t just say something like then get the exact numbers down to a T, puppy.”
Likely wondering what was taking him so long to return to your side, you decided to finally grace him with your presence, wrapping an arm around his waist. He pretends it happens frequently enough to the point that he’s not flustered about it.
“Means ya have it memorized too, kitty,” he replies, deflecting. “Not that big a deal. Also, hyenas aren’t even part of the dog family, y’know!”
“Okay okay, whatever you say!” you laugh, nudging the groom with your free arm. “Sorry I lied to you about him being my boy space friend and not my boyfriend. I saw an opportunity to lie and I took it!”
“You know what? I’m not even surprised,” the man says, shaking his head before turning to the hyena once more. “So, Ruggie, since the two of you have been together for several years now, do the two of you plan on getting married any time soon, too?”
Questions like that are meant to be heavy hitting, meant to be discussed for more than just a few minutes, but Ruggie manages to answer it swiftly. 
Again, not the first time he’s been asked, but his answer has never really changed from all those years ago.
“Only if my partner wants to,” he replies. He grabs the hand you have wrapped around him, pushing it down so he can clasp onto your fingers properly, like a dutiful boyfriend would. “I’d be happy as long as we have a future together.”
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Considerate. That was how Ruggie was known to… pretty much everyone you had introduced him to that didn’t know the truth. He was a considerate boyfriend, one who never spoiled or babied you too much, but one always eager to help or guide you with whatever it was you needed.
You saw him as considerate too, you let him know, a considerate friend. It was why you approached him with this whole fake dating shenanigans in the first place, and why you continued to rely on him over and over again.
“I just don’t know what I’d do with you, really,” you bemoaned, “you’re seriously the best, you know that?”
“Shishishi… if you wanted me to comfort you, you could just ask,” Ruggie replied with a grin, more receptive to the compliment than he wanted to let on. “Whether you want to cry at their speeches and use my tie as a tissue, or ask me to refill your plate with something in particular, I’ll do it.”
You smiled, your appreciation extending from your lips to the tips of your fingers, reaching out to comb through his hair gently. 
“Your tie’s too nice for that,” you admitted, your fingers trailing down to his neck to caress the fabric. He might have misheard, but he thought he heard someone murmur about public display of affection… as if a wedding didn’t scream P.D.A. already. Regardless, he lowers his eyes to watch the movement of your hands, only a little bit mesmerized by how gently you treat him at times like these. He’s used to you not being afraid to fool around with him, which is nice, but… but this is nice, too.
Yikes, you’d think you were cupping his face or something by the way he reacted—it was just his tie, for sevens’ sake!
“I’ve always liked how you looked in yellow,” you said, and he could do nothing but melt. That’s all he can do, considering if he tried to speak he would probably whimper and purr and let you have your way with his heart… But you look like you want him to say something, so he should try to do that. It can’t be that bad! He just has to clear his throat and make sure he actually vomits out words instead of feelings.
You can praise me more! was what he wanted to say. Instead, he said,
“Ahh, ya look very charming too in…!” It’s a good enough start, but he trailed off when he realized he couldn’t really pinpoint just one thing he liked. What, was he gonna say you looked good in yellow too? You said it first! He’d just be repeating at that point! “Agh, you’re just cute…! You don’t have to laugh at me for that!”
“I’m not making fun of you!” you explained quickly—not that you needed to, he knew you weren’t, and the clarification didn’t make his cheeks cool in the least bit. It’s like the heat of his hometown all over again! “You’re acting like you wouldn’t tease me for the very same thing!”
“Who, me? Your Ruggie? Never!” he said, lying as easily as he breathed. “So go on, might as well ask me for a few more things while I’m in the mood to be all sweet with ya~”
“Well… what if I want to ask you to dance?”
He laughed, as he tended to in many situations, but he laughed then because he knew his leading you to the dance floor would be inevitable—it was just a matter of time. When you laugh with him, he knows it’s because you knew the very same.
“You know my rhythm ain’t that good, especially when the music is…” He paused to listen to the music, having been too invested in you to pay attention to the tunes. “...classical? Like, piano and violin instrumental and all.”
“Then I’ll let you step on my feet—once!” 
“You’re only sayin’ that because ya know I won’t,” Ruggie said, grinning, “well, not on purpose anyway! Shishishi…”
They’ve danced this dance before… not literally, or maybe literally, many wedding playlists and bands repeat the same songs anyway, but the whole let’s dance and pretend we’re an engaging and fun couple kind of dance specifically. He’s not really sure why they continue doing so, most people only really care about who the newlyweds dance with, but once they’ve started they never really had it in them to stop. 
At least, that was how he felt about it.
“‘Times it feels like the first time,” Ruggie said, hands gesturing vaguely in the air before they take their place next to yours. You interlock your fingers with his in response. “This whole thing. The date and dance thing.”
“Awkward?”
“S’ not the right word,” he replied, “I always feel comfy around you.”
“Exciting?”
“Fun,” he supplied, “somehow this has never gotten boring even after four years–”
“–and one month, and eight days,” you were already smiling the whole time (he would know—when he wasn’t staring at his feet to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally hurt you, he’s been staring at your face shamelessly), but your eyes crinkle a little bit more. He thinks you might’ve stolen his abilities because he mirrors your very movements. “Or is that nine days counting today?”
“Nah, I already counted today as the eight.”
The look you have on your face resembled approval, as if you were praising him for remembering so well. 
“We’ve never celebrated an anniversary, have we?” you whispered, as though too embarrassed to let anyone else hear. Ruggie doubted anyone would, too preoccupied with themselves and everyone else to pay attention to a couple of guests dancing, but he leans into you anyway to hear you better.
(He doesn’t need it, he can hear you fine and dandy with the ears he has, but neither of you comment on the action.)
“Is there somewhere you wanna go? Or do?” he asked, genuinely interested in what your idea of an ideal celebratory date would be. For future reference.
“Your hometown would be nice.” The answer very nearly has him yelping, but he managed to restrain himself by squeezing your hands a little tighter. His eyes look around wildly before gawking at you. You know what his hometown is like, but more than that, you know what that place means to him, the people there that he looks out for whenever he can.
“You’re sounding very much like a real partner right now,” Ruggie said, awed at the unspoken revelation, “makes me wonder why we put that fake label in the first place if we were just gonna reserve ourselves for each other.”
“Because we’re fools,” you replied, glad to be on the same page as him, “and we’ve just been acting as the other does all this time without stepping out of line.”
“Was there even a line in the first place?” The both of you shared a laugh. 
“So, what do you think? About that hometown date?”
You probably know exactly what he thinks about it. You’ve always had a way with his heartstrings and he’s done nothing to stop you from doing so, so you know his entire being feels very warm and bubbly just about now, has been the entire time he’s had you by his side, really.
“Help me sneak some sweets out later,” Ruggie murmured quietly, “in the tupperware. The brats back home will love it.”
“One step ahead of you,” you muttered back, a voice with barely contained mischief, “while you were busy chatting up the groom, I already snuck some food out to the car.”
“What the hell,” he breathed out, “I think I might have fallen in love with ya all over again.”
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end notes | masterlist of all my works
[ 1 ] Title's stylization was inspired by TOMORROW x TOGETHER, the kpop group. There's no actual inspiration from TXT, though. I just like it.
[ 2 ] Ruggie and Reader have been to seventeen events that year because Ruggie is 17 (in TWST canon, he's older in the fic), and they've "fake" dated for four years, one month, and eight days because Ruggie's bday is 4/18. I just like choosing numbers with purpose or as references is all. Reader only questions if it's been 18 or 19 days and doesn't question the other parts because they're also counting. They're whipped, amen.
[ 3 ] When writing Ruggie, I was careful in how I portrayed him and his attitude towards food and money, mostly I didn't want that becoming his personality. Big-scale weddings are often quite expensive and wasteful, and while Ruggie has his insights about that based on his background, but he also knows that people do derive joy from that and he can appreciate it (basically, he's not hateful even though he can't relate). Not the main point of the fic, but putting Ruggie in that setting I felt like I had to describe his feelings regarding it a bit.
[ 4 ] I made reader call Ruggie "puppy", then I wondered if he should actually be "kitty" instead. I had to search whether hyenas were part of the cat or dog family, only to find out they belong to their own family! Kept puppy in anyw.
[ 5 ] I asked some followers what nickname Ruggie would call his s/o and kitten came up. Makes sense, he says it in a voice line… but for the life of me I cannot type it out because of how the nickname became tainted due to "discord kittens" arghh it felt too silly… I'll commit to it next time when the context is better!
[ 6 ] ( “Because we’re fools,” you replied, [...], “and we’ve just been acting as the other does[…]” ) This is referencing Ruggie's UM/SS literal translation, "March of fools". Though in this case, I suppose it's a dance of fools, huh!
[ 7 ] As mentioned, this was something short to help get me out of my writing slump. This has been in my drafts since June and the original "june wedding prompt" fic I meant to write before I scrapped it for the jade wedding fic instead. I decided to finally write it since, compared to before where I only really enjoyed writing longer one-shots (around 5k-15k words), I've gotten more comfortable writing shorter one-shots :>
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darklinaforever · 1 month
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It's insane how a*ysmond shippers hate Helaena, the idea of helaemond and heavily romanricize the Aemond/A*ys thing. In the books, A*ys is Aemond's prize of war, literally his property and s*x slave, who, later on, regains her agency sending Rapeaemond to his death.
Like, if helaemond is bs and it's never gonna be confirmed as show canon, why are they wasting their time fighting helaemond shippers on sm? And why Geeta's words , confirming special connection between Helaena and Aemond bothers them do much
So, personally, I'm not super invested in the stories of the Helaemond fandom.
I've never had anything against the ship, and it's only recently that I started to really like it and look at some posts on them, even if I avoid because I tend to come across in anti Daemyra / Daemon Targaryen very quickly.
So I haven't had the opportunity to see what you are describing to me in relation to the behavior of Alysmond's shippers, even if I have already vaguely heard about it.
On the other hand, I have seen a lot of Helaegon fans also taking down Helaemond.
Which I find quite crazy and lunar. In what world do you ship Helaegon ?!
But anyway, fandom's behavior towards each other is really not tender, sometimes, just out of pure malice and mockery which I don't understand.
You don't like a ship ? Well don't go to the tag dedicated to them to attack them.
What's in it for you if you're so sure of yourself ? It doesn't make sense and it's quite pathetic.
The Alysmond stans who piss off are either motivated by what I have already cited, or their simple twisted idea of ​​the canon which pushes them to stand up against what they judge to possibly disturb them, which is paradoxical, if they claim that this Helaemond relationship is essentially pure fanon that will never be confirmed.
They're probably insecure about their ship, and don't like it, even if they don't admit it. That's the only reason for their bad behavior, that and or being a complete asshole who has nothing better to do with his life to feel better about himself.
As far as I'm concerned, in the context of the show alone, Helaemond makes much more sense than Alysmond or even Helaegon.
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monimccoythings · 2 months
Text
Wedding Crashers part 3
Whoah, life has been a mess these last months ,but in a positive way, got a job had to move across the country, worked a few months, got an even better job (like a huge promotion) and now have to move back to the other side of the country. But now I'm back! Hopefully.
Trigger warning, this contains mentions of attempted rape and violent and gory elements.
tags: @karma-reader
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It was nearly noon when Kuroobi came to fetch you, saying Arlong demanded your presence. You reluctantly got up from the table you were currently playing a very tricky game of cards, silently thanking him for saving you from a very humilliating losing streak. Knowing Arlong didn't like to wait, you hurried your pace to match Kuroobi's.
"It's been quite a long time since you first arrived. I wonder if your family cares about you at all." Oh, he was being an asshole, but you weren't going to play his games.
"It was more money than we actually have. They need time." He hummed, not entirely believing you. He suddenly rose up from his throne and approached you slowly, it dawned on you how much bigger and stronger than you he was. He circled you like a predator. Way too close for comfort.
"There is something you said the first time we met that hasn't really left my mind. Please, humor me, because I'm a bit curious; why someone who has everything they could ever desire be so against the idea of being released?" You didn't know if he was really curious or just taunting you. You decided to answer anyway.
"I despised that life and the rules that came with it." He let out a low chuckle that lacked any kind of amusement. "Oh, poor little princess who was born with a silver spoon in her mouth." You jumped when you felt his hot breath in your ear. When had he gotten behind you?
"A silver spoon with golden chains to match." You couldn't help the resentment of your own. "What's the point of so many riches and luxury if you can't enjoy life the way you desire? They tell you how to act, how to talk, what to eat, what to wear, how to feel, and somehow you're always doing it wrong."
You nearly jumped when Arlong grabbed your shoulder and roughly turned you towards him. There it was, that passionate look in his eyes that you couldn't decipher. Was he angry? Was he happy? Probably not even Arlong knew.
You backed a couple of steps under the intensity of that gaze, until your lower back hit the desk. Arlong followed you trapping you between the desk and his hard body, there was no escaping him. You could literally feel the warmth radiating from his body. Whoever said fishmen bodies were cold had clearly never seen one up close.
"I'm sorry to hear that, Princess; but when you come from a place of poverty and suffering like my people I find that a little bit hard to believe. While you were whining like a spoiled brat in your fancy castle, we were kids fighting for survival. But don't worry, once mommy and daddy pay up, you can run away towards that freedom you so desperately want."
He titled your chin towards him, trying to look more intimidating than he already was; and, for a couple of seconds you just stared at each other, too lost in the intensity of your gazes to notice any of your surroundings . With a grimace, he let you go and ordered you to get out of his sight. Your heart was beating furiously inside your chest. What was that? What game was he playing?
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟
Your family still didn't pay, but they did send many mercenaries to 'rescue' you. You didn't know how to feel. So, they wouldn't pay the money but were willing to spend it on a bunch of fools that got easily dispatched by the Arlong Pirates in seconds?? You understood the price he had set was very high. But maybe some old family heirloom would be worth enough to pay for your rescue?
Arlong surely loved to rub in your face how each one of those pathetic attempts of rescue failed. The crew even had set bets over how much they lasted, who got the most kills... You'd admit without shame that sometimes you had participated in those bets. It was the only thing you could do. Plus, it was fun and helped you integrate with the crew. Sometimes you were the one who teased Arlong about who was going to win the bet, completely forgetting your position as a hostage in that crew. But, surprisingly, he let that slide.
It got to a point where they got very cocky... until one group actually managed to sneak you away. You didn't know where those people had come from, but judging by their looks they seemed to be the lowest of the low.
They forcefully dragged you into their ship and towards the captain's quarters. You tried to ignore their lecherous stares as best as you could but the way some of them were looking at you like a piece of meat... it sent shivers running down your spine.
You were roughly shoved on the bed by the captain, a middle aged dirty man who smelt like beer and sweat. You tried to resist his advances but he was way too strong for you. He slapped you on the cheek with enough force to make you see white dots. He kept groping you, forcefully grabbing your breasts with his disgusting hands and kneading them in a way that brought you a lot of pain.
"Your family didn't pay us enough to face those things, so we are taking a little extra." His rancid breath made you want to throw up. When his hands started ripping the top of what had once been your wedding dress, you started screaming and thrashing violently. You desperately called for help, knowing there was no way anyone could hear you. You were about to lose any kind of hope until...
Something crashed against the ship with enough force that left it shaking. The force of the impact made your assaulter fall off you, giving you room to scoot away from him. He let out a curse and loudly demanded to know the source of the impact.
For a few seconds, there was only silence. And after that, pandemonium. Men were screaming in terror, shooting their guns at something, some animalistic grunts and roars could be heard followed by spalttering noises that made you wonder if the ship had entered the territory of a Sea King. Soon those voices were quieted down until there was only silence.
No, not silence. You could hear footsteps. Loud and stomping. They were getting even louder, they were coming towards your room, until they suddenly stopped.
The doors were sent flying with inhuman force. The dust cleared and you let out a little gasp. Arlong was there, breathing heavily, his lips were pulled back in a feral snarl, his sharp teeth were stained with fresh blood that was also dripping from his chin. However, if there was something truly terrifying about him now, it had to be his eyes. The look in his eyes was something you have never seen in him and hoped you'll never see again. It was the deranged look of a wild beast, he was more shark than man at this point.
The captain of the mercenaries, seeing what was about to come, desperately fired bullet after bullet towards Arlong. He casually brushed them off like they were nothing. He grabbed the captain's head and smacked it against the wall repeatedly, ignoring his victim's pleas, even when they stopped he kept going, and going until there was nothing left of that head but a bloody pulp. You coudln't even look.
He turned towards you and for a second, you felt fear, wondering if he was going to punish you. But, surprisingly, and with a gentleness so uncharacteristical of him, he scooped you up in his arms and carried you away from that room. You would surely deny it later, but despite everything you have heard outside, and what had just happened, this was the safest you had felt in a long time.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟
To say he was angry was an understatment. Arlong was LIVID. How had this happened? How could some band of inferior beings sneak on his ship full of fishmen pirates and steal his prize without anyone noticing?
They had grown confident, sloppy. And those humans took advantage of it. A growl started forming in his chest. Never again. He would make sure it never happened. Your parents had already tested enough of his patience with their greediness. They thought of him a joke? They didn't consider his hold over their only daughter a threath worthy enough of consideration?
As he held your small body against his chest, he wondered about that sudden feeling of desperation when he saw you gone. He wanted to say that it was because without you, the chances of getting his money were slim; but he wasn't thinking about the money when he furiosly swam towards the mercenaries' ship, all semblance of rationality long gone. And that sent him crashing into an emotion he rarely made use of: panic.
You had to go. Whatever human charm you had was starting to affect him, just the way it had affected his crew. He couldn't have that. He couldn't trash his ideals and his goals for some little spoiled princess who would have him enslaved if she had the chance.
He and his brothers would pay a visit to your parents, and reclaim what was theirs. And then they would leave you there, to live your stupid human life with a lesson well learned: Do not mess with the Arlong Pirates.
Yet, the mere thought of leaving you behind stirred something ugly in him, something unwanted, something dangerous. If he allowed that to grow he would end up losing everything that he had fought so hard for in the last few years. All the people he had lost, all his rage, pain, and desire of revenge would be reduced to nothing.
He should make you hate him, he should treat you like he would treat any other human, torture you to the point of insanity just for his own sadistic pleasure. But he had just crashed an entire crew like a one fishman army just to get you back.
For a minute, looking down at you, he wondered if he really couldn't have it all. His revenge, his money, his prize... He was Arlong the Saw, soon to be lord of the entirety of the East Blue, he could take, maul and kill whatever he pleased and no Marine army would be able to lay a hand on him!
But that... would mean admitting he had some soft spot for you and he... he hadn't decided yet how to act on that.
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rememberwren · 2 months
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Hey, I just wanna say I'm so sorry about the hate you got from Ghoap haters on Skin Deep. I absolutely loved it when it was just a one-shot and loved it even more when you expanded on it. I'm sorry those people made you lose interest in something you were passionate about, in something that was beautiful, in something that filled you (and a lot of us) with joy.
I understand Ghoap x Reader isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I honestly can't fathom spewing hatred at a *writer* because they chose to take *their own writing* in another direction. There are literally thousands of amazing fics with just Ghost x Reader that do not stray into Ghoap territory. And besides, you warned and tagged the sequal appropriately. I also understand that it might hurt or sting if a piece of work you enjoy deviate into "unwanted territory", that it might feel like "betrayal", but that's when you click off and find another work that's more suited to your taste. Or, hell, even write a work of your own. Fanfiction writers are out here doing God's work because they want to, not because they get paid and have to.
All that is to say, thank you for posting it, thank you for keeping it up despite the bad apples in this community, thank you for allowing us that love it to keep rereading it and gushing over it <3
This was so very kind. In the briefest defense of the anons, I did not tag appropriately at first—namely because I wasn’t sure if it was going to end up being Ghoap/reader or just Ghoap + ghost/reader, but I should have given some type of warning for the direction we were heading.
Regardless, they were some real assholes— but I’m so over it; everyone has been so nice and understanding. I’m even going to read over the 6ish k that I had for the third chapter tonight and see what’s up. Maybe taking a week off will have given me some crucial distance.
Anyway thank you so much for this sweet message, I appreciated it 🩶🩶
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sidekick-hero · 10 months
Text
I want you to want me
(Teen | wc: 922 | steddie | prompt: open mic night for @steddieholidaydrabbles | tags: exes, open but hopeful ending, inspired by my favorite movie of all times 10 things I hate about you)
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"Come on, Eddie. You've been moping around for weeks. Let's have some fun like we used to, man." Gareth was practically whining at Eddie and it was getting on his nerves.
"No way, man. I'm not moping, I just don't feel like going to some dumb-ass party to watch preppy jerks get drunk and barf in the bushes."
Never mind that the one person he actually wants to see won't be there. He'll still spend every second looking for that familiar shock of hair he loved running his hands through. He dreams about it still, can still hear the way Steve sounded when he tugged at the strands at the back of his neck.
He wonders when it'll stop hurting so much to think about him. To miss him like a fucking limb or something and still be afraid to even call him. What could he even say? I'm sorry for breaking your heart and I understand you hate me. The problem is that while acting like I cared about you for money I actually went and fell in love with you, so will you please give me another chance.
Yeah, sure.
"You're not even listening, dude. Harrington has really gotten to you," Gareth huffs, sounding genuinely upset. Eddie has hurt enough people he cares about, so he gives Gareth a look that says ‘I’m listening’ and Gareth rolls his eyes at him, but continues. "I told you about the open mic night, Will's reading one of his short stories and asked me to come. Me. This could be my chance. And you owe me man for all the crazy shit I helped you with while courting a jock of all people. So you coming or what?"
Gareth’s right, is the thing. Eddie owes him for everything, helping him in so many ways to make Steve fall for him. Coming with him to this stupid thing is the least he can do. He doesn’t have to like it though, so Eddie throws his arms up in the universal gesture of ‘fine, whatever, but I'm not going to enjoy watching you make goo-goo eyes at Will Byers’.
Gareth's rubs his hands together like some sort of super-villain with extremely fluffy hair and Eddie regrets all his life choices.
Open mic night is just as awful as Eddie thought it would be. There's this girl, something silly Thompson, and Eddie feels like he's listening to a small animal giving birth as she sings the national anthem. It's deeply disturbing.
He lost Gareth as soon as they entered the bar and Will spotted them and waved Gareth over. And that's a good thing, he's really not in the mood to watch them fall over each other.
They've been in this hellhole for almost an hour when he spots something that makes his stomach do somersaults while his skin starts to tingle all over. A shock of mousy brown hair, messier than usual, probably from Steve running his hands through it nervously.
His breath stops as he sees Steve climbing onto the stage with a single sheet of paper in his hand, chewing on his full lower lip as he stares out at the crowd. Eddie wants his eyes to find his. He is afraid that they will.
"Hey, uh, everybody. My best friend thinks I need to find some closure? Or something. Maybe she just likes to see me suffer for being an asshole in school. Anyway, I, uh, I'm just starting, I guess."
Eddie's stomach plummets at Steve's words. Closure. He should leave before he has to listen to Steve tell him and everyone in this room how much he hates Eddie.
He's not sure if he'll survive the damage to his heart, but he deserves the pain, he knows it. So he stays.
To everyone else, Steve must look calm, maybe a little embarrassed to be up there. But Eddie sees the way the hand holding the paper trembles, the way his eyebrows knit together, and the self-soothing way the fingertips of his other hand keep tapping his thumb.
I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick, It even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you're always right, I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
Halfway through, Steve's eyes find his, and even with the way Steve pinches his nose, there is no way to stop the tears from streaming down his face. Eddie's heart breaks again for the man in front of him. God, how could he have been so stupid and selfish to accept an offer from Carver, of all people, to woo Steve so he could make a move on his sister Chrissy?
When Steve’s finished, he almost runs off the stage and out the door while Eddie stands shocked, Steve's words ringing in his ears.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
Maybe they still have a chance.
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veryace-ficrecs · 8 months
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looking for voltron (legendary defenders) found family or klance, i love some good banter. i’m also always up for some good angst but no pressure there
I can sure do that for you!
Voltron Fic Recs
This Is The Part Of Me (That You're Never Gonna Ever Take Away) by negativefouriq - Rated T
Lance finishes reading the file, then turns to face Shiro. Shiro braces himself for an onslaught of questions, and readies himself to message Coran — “Is this your way of quietly kicking me off Voltron?” — and freezes. Huh? “Pardon?” Lance swallows roughly, eyes trained on his fidgety hands. “Um, I asked if this is your way of kicking me off the team,” Lance repeats. Shiro has never felt more like his brain was completely empty, because he has no fucking clue what to say. --- OR: Shiro and Lance have a misunderstanding. But Shiro wants nothing except for his kids to be happy, so he clears things up as quickly as possible.
Singularity by this_book_has_been_loved - Rated T
AU where instead of landing in the trash nebula, Pidge finds herself on the same planet as a certain Galra prison camp
The Lost Paladin by dinosuns - Rated T
If he doesn’t leave, all of him will be reduced to cinders. But if he leaves, all of him will be undone. A course that he will choose to chart, no matter how it breaks his heart. It’s a battle that cannot be won. - Their names burn inside him, seared onto his soul. Black coal sits in the centre of his chest, fuelling a fire that was soon to be smothered by the very people that set it ablaze.
Bad Diagnosis by ElfGrove - Rated T
Pidge has been having bad headaches for nearly a week straight, so she decides to see if the infirmary has some sort of Altean Advil. The actual news is not so great.
Tag in, tag out by Rangergirl3 - Rated T
When a teammate is in danger, Keith doesn't stand by when there is something he can do to help - even if it might cost him his life.
Family Can Be 2 Aliens and 5 Ex-Paladins by Lilacs_and_the_sea - Rated G
The war is over, and everyone's back home with their family. Everyone except Keith.
i'm family? by seph_bites - Rated T
“You were right when you said I shouldn’t be leader. All of you were right and Shiro was wrong. I can’t be what you guys need,” he said quietly. “No,” Hunk said defiantly. “You’re the one who’s wrong. Because you’ve been there for us. You didn’t want to be the leader of Voltron but you did it anyway. For us.” “And I almost got all of you killed in the process! Look, once Shiro can pilot Black again, what would I stay for?” “Us! You’re supposed to say us, you asshole!”
A Family By Any Other Name by Calacious - Rated T
Lance and Keith discover a lone survivor on a planet whose inhabitants have been wiped out by a virus brought to them by a visitor from another universe.
the perfect pair by polypinneaple - Rated T
“Don’t– you know it’s not different Shiro, Pidge and I work just as much if not more and what, they can just skip practice today because they’re homesick, or what, tired? This is a war!” “If they can’t pull their weight then maybe they shouldn’t be here. No! I don’t want to hear it, I’m going to go train.” ••• Hunk wasn’t an angry guy, he wasn’t short tempered or easily poked. But something about the way Keith spoke about Lance made him furious, he didn’t care what these people thought about him, but his Lance? Hunk would go to war and die fighting if it meant Lance was happy. AKA Lance and Hunk deal with feeling like outsiders to Team Voltron during their first few weeks in, it doesn't go well.
It's Okay by TerrificTea - Not Rated
It was supposed to be a simple intel mission. In and out. Simple right? But this is Voltron, and now Lance and Pidge are trapped after an explosion, leaving Pidge concussed, confused and with a rapidly growing concern for her teammate.
Voltron Means Family, And Family Means No One Gets Left Behind by Spazzcat - Rated G
Five times the merchant vessel Castle of Lions gained a new crew member, and one time they all refused to leave.
Family, Then and Now by NightPurity - Rated G
Hunk likes to bake, but sometimes, his thoughts get a tight hook into him and start to pull him down. Coran, he happens to stumble upon a hurting Hunk. Sometimes, it hurts thinking about those you've lost, but also, it helps to talk about it. Of course, hope can help keep you afloat.
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