#nobody feels the burden that is yours alone

[bangchansdirty-slut]

hi hi~ me again... sorry

I was wondering if maybe you'd consider writing something for me again?

I was hoping for maybe something with poly Chan and Jisung x ftm reader where the three of you get into a MAJOR fight and y'all ignore each other, sleeping separately, avoiding eachother etc. after it bc you're all unable to fully calm down until they find you crying and rush to comfort you just to find out your crying from being so pent up and unable to get off without them and they help you with angry makeup sex?

Kiss And Make Up

•───⋅⋆⁺‧₊☽⛦☾₊‧⁺⋆⋅───•

Paring: Top!Bangchan x Top!Han x Bottom!FTM reader

Genre: Little Angst First, Smut

Requested

More: Masterlist

A/n: Requests are open

•───⋅⋆⁺‧₊☽⛦☾₊‧⁺⋆⋅───•

The air was heavy with tension, the walls seeming to close in around them. It was as if the very fabric of their lives had begun to unravel, threadbare and worn. The three of them stood in the living room, not daring to look at one another, each lost in their own thoughts. The weight of their secrets pressing down on their shoulders like an unbearable burden.

Jisung and Chan, both members of the popular K-pop group Stray Kids, had been neglecting their relationship with M/n, the bottom in their triad. Their busy schedules had left them little time for each other, and they'd begun to take M/n for granted. The longer it went on, the more resentment built up inside them all.

Finally, they found themselves in the same room once again. The air was thick with tension, as if the very walls were closing in around them. Jisung and Chan exchanged guilty glances, unable to meet each other's eyes. They knew they needed to confront their feelings, but the weight of their secrets made it difficult to find the words.

M/n, on the other hand, looked like a lost child. His eyes were red from crying, and his face was etched with pain. He had tried to be understanding, to give them space, but the loneliness had been overwhelming. He wished they could go back to the way things were before, when they were a united front, a powerful triad that nobody dared to cross.

Jisung and Chan exchanged glances again, their anger momentarily forgotten as they took in the despair in M/n's eyes. They knew they had to fix this, not just for themselves but for M/n as well. They moved toward him, their hands reaching out to touch him gently on the shoulders.

"M/n, we're sorry," Jisung began, his voice barely a whisper. "We've been so selfish, neglecting you like this… We didn't mean to hurt you."

M/n looked up at them, his eyes red and swollen from crying. "I know you've been busy," he whispered. "It's just… I miss you. I feel so alone."

Jisung and Chan exchanged glances once more, their hearts breaking at the pain in M/n's voice. They moved closer, wrapping their arms around him in a comforting embrace. "We miss you too, M/n," Chan whispered. "We should have made more time for you." Jisung confessed.

M/n leaned into their touch, feeling the warmth of their bodies against his own. "I just wanted us to be together again," he said, his voice barely audible. "I felt so lonely without you." He pulled away slightly, looking up at them with pleading eyes. "Can we try again? Be a real triad again?"

Jisung and Chan exchanged another glance, their hearts full of regret and determination. They nodded in unison, promising each other that this time would be different. They would make sure to make time for M/n, to cherish their bond as a triad.

Gently, they led M/n to a nearby bed, their hands moving with a tender urgency. They stripped him down to his underwear, revealing his pale, quivering skin. His breath came in ragged gasps, his chest heaving with emotion. Jisung and Chan could see the want in his eyes, the need for them just as much as they needed him.

As they knelt before him, their fingers danced over the waistband of his underwear, slowly pulling them down. M/n's pussy came into view, wet and swollen, begging for their touch. His hips rose to meet their hands as they parted his lips, revealing his tight little hole. Jisung and Chan looked into each other's eyes, their anger and hurt momentarily forgotten as they focused on the task at hand: pleasuring their beloved M/n.

Their tongues flicked out, circling his entrance, teasing and taunting. They moved in perfect unison, their hands gripping his hips as they began to thrust inside him. M/n let out a strangled moan, his back arching off the bed as pleasure coursed through him. His pussy clamped down on their fingers, milking them for every ounce of pleasure.

Jisung gazed up at M/n, his eyes full of adoration and regret. "I'm sorry I've been so distant," hem stood up and whispered into M/n's ear, his voice thick with emotion. "I should have made more time for us." He moved his hand to cup M/n's cheek, gently wiping away a stray tear.

Chan's heart ached as he watched the scene unfold before him. He couldn't believe he'd been so selfish, focusing on his own needs and desires instead of M/n's. He leaned in to press kisses to M/n's clit. "I'm sorry, my love," he whispered, his voice raspy with emotion. "I should have been there for you too."

Chan stood up and moved between M/n's legs, his face flushed with emotion. He roughly parted M/n's lips with his fingers, exposing the wet, swollen folds within. M/n whimpered, arching his back in anticipation. With a feral growl, Chan moved his tip near M/n's entrance, teasing and taunting before finally pushing inside.

M/n cried out, the pleasure from Chan's ministrations mixing with the release of his pent-up emotions. He grabs Jisung's waist band, tugging him closer. Jisung's cock, already hard from the sight of M/n's wetness, slides between M/n's mouth. M/n opens wide, taking as much of Jisung in as he can. His tongue darts out, tracing the vein on Jisung's shaft as he sucks. His other hand grips Chan's hip, pulling him closer, urging him deeper inside.

Chan's thrusts grow rougher, more desperate. He can feel the tension beginning to build inside himself, the impending release of all his anger and frustration. He looks down at M/n, their eyes meeting in the heat of the moment. "I'm sorry," he pants, "I should have been there for you." His hips buck harder, his cock slapping against M/n's prostate with each thrust.

Jisung's hand tangles in M/n's hair, holding his head still as he thrust deeper into his mouth. His free hand grips M/n's hip, their bodies moving together in perfect harmony. His eyes meet Chan's in the mirror, and he sees the same regret and longing there. He knows they both have a lot of making up to do, but for now, this moment, it feels like they're back on track.

As the pleasure builds inside him, Chan's thrusts become more urgent, more desperate. His eyes close tightly, teeth gritted in concentration. He feels the familiar tightening in his chest, the impending release of all his pent-up emotions. He looks down at M/n, their bodies moving together in perfect sync, and he knows he's never going to let him go again.

M/n moans around Jisung's cock, his head rolling back as the sensations wash over him. His fingers dig into Chan's shoulders, urging him deeper, harder. He can feel the wetness between his legs, the evidence of how much he's missed this connection, how much he's needed them both.

As the pleasure builds, M/n's body tightens, and he lets out a cry that seems to echo through the room. His orgasm rips through him, shuddering his body as he comes, hot and sticky, over their hands. He arches his back, pressing closer to them both, relishing in the feel of their skin against his.

Chan's thrusts don't slow as he feels the tension build inside himself. He looks down at M/n, their eyes meeting in the heat of the moment. He sees the love and need for them both reflected back in his gaze, and it gives him the strength to release, to let go of the anger and hurt that had been holding him back. His movements grow more frenzied, more urgent, as he comes, filling M/n with his seed.

Jisung feels the tremors run through Chan's body, and it pushes him over the edge. He groans, thrusting deep one last time as he comes, spilling his release over M/n's tongue. Their bodies are flush together now, sweat-slick and breathless. The tension that had been building between them for so long is finally released, leaving them both spent and satisfied.

[bunnihearted]

being in pain is so isolating nd alienating lol >.<

[crystallilytarot]

Choose a coffee cup. How will your future partner show their love and jealousy

(there's a little mention of some 18+ stuff. MDNI)

Pile 1

It's like a puppy who is happy when their owner is home hehe. They are so happy when looking at you. Heart eyes, literally. They want to make your every wish come true. A genie. A little bit of a Daddy /Mommy vibe, but you will be spoiled, they want to buy you everything. Even if they act like they are grumpy and doesn't want to do something, they can't say no to you. Jewelry, a lot. Definitely gift giving is one of their love language. Trips, little vacations, a weekend get-away. And they are very patient, understanding, caring too. I heard a gentle giant. Even if they aren't so much bigger or stronger physically, but I think they are older. And a bear, but like a real life teddy bear. Altough they may look like a serious person, they are a softie at heart, at least for you, definitely. And if you have any mental or physical problems, ever, they will be so caring, protective and understanding.

If they are jealous. At first they will act like they aren't jealous. But they will be very insecure. Anxious even. I feel there will be even more gifts. Like they say in this way, that nobody else can take care of you like me. I can give you everything, don't look at others! They definitely want to have sex with you that day. Want to show you that they can take care of you in the bedroom too. A little possessiveness, nothing toxic. But if you want children, they would like to well, give it a try that night. A little like a marking kink, but it's not always like that. It can be when they give you the ring, when proposing, they see it like you belong together. They want to have you just for themself. But it's their secret kinda, they try to act like they aren't that possessive, they just can't even think about you being with someone else, it would hurt them so much.

Pile 2

A no nonsense person, they are not a player. If they like you, they will show you. I don't think they are very comfortable with speaking about all these romantic feelings, but they will show you with their actions. They are always there when you need them. If you need something, they will drive all night to you. If they are in the other side of the world, they will try to go to you as soon as possible. Maybe not a lot of speaking but a lot of messages. Good morning texts. A little sweet message. They are very giving. With their money too, and with their time, energy. Always going out of their way to help you in any way possible. You can share the responsibilities, the stress, the burdens with them. You have a partner, you don't need to do anything alone. You will feel like you belong with them. Definitely want to marry you, and I think your values will be the same too.

If they are jealous. Well, they are not really jealous. Very mature, they trust you, so it's rare that they are jealous. If they feel like something is wrong, they will try to speak about it with you or try to find a solution. Maybe try to solve it alone. Sometimes you won't even know. But they thought that you liked a shirt on someone else, they will buy something similar. Actions, so they don't show it really, they can act a little differently. If someone is bothering you, however they will talk with them. Can say a little harsher things to them too. But it's rare. I feel in this situation, they are so authorative, maybe they have a strict voice, so nobody will mess with you. I mean, you can go out with your friends, they won't be a very controlling person, but if someone don't leave you alone, well, I won't be that person.

Pile 3

You will feel safe and sound with them. Calm, and peaceful life. If you had a trauma, any bad experience, they will help you heal. You will be more confident. I think you will even have more energy, vitality. They are romantic, there will be a lot of romantic surprises, love notes, love songs. Lot of emotions here and they are not shy to tell you how much you means to them. They will compliment you a lot. Likes to go on romantic programs with you. I love you-s, cute nicknames. Tell you like every day that you are the most beautiful person in the whole universe.

If they are jealous. Oh, no. They will feel so sad, heartbroken. Don't make them jealous intentionally, because it's not something that brings spark in the relationship for them. They will feel betrayed. Even if you didn't do anything, they don't know what to do. Probably need some time alone. In the end of the day, they will realize that they can trust you, but they need to be alone a little with their thoughts, because it will bother them a lot. At first they can be grumpy, and they don't even know why. Until they think about it a little and realize that something made them jealous. Maybe they would feel bad about it, even if they weren't really mad, but probably after that, they will try to do something romantic. At least a bouquet of flower definitely.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Choose a number 1-30 and read a sentence for you in time of needs. You can ofc read them all.

1- You're braver than you think. You can get through this too. Just take a breath and then start again. Do not give up.

2- You're not alone even if at times it feels so. Don't worry about being a burden or annoying others: ask for help, talk about your needs and feelings. You don't have to deal with all that by yourself. Keep asking even after being rejected. Someone will answer you.

3- Look inside and see your real worth. No one else can compare to you. You're you, and you're enough and deserving already as you are. Don't let others' harsh judgement make you think otherwise.

4- Life is made of light and dark and so are you. Find your balance again among the two and keep going. It'll be fine, no feeling is going to last forever.

5- Things look scarier and rockier cause they're changing (you're changing too). It's okay to feel uncomfortable and a bit loss or overwhelmed: give yourself time until you find a new balance in your new reality. It won't be bad, I promise.

6- Go slow, take your time. Nothing and nobody is rushing behind you. It's okay to take breaks, it's okay if you're taking a bit more time than you thought in doing something. Focus on the journey not on how much time you're using or thinking you're wasting. You're not wasting time when you use it for yourself. But worrying will make you lose a part of it and hurt you even more.

7- Try to believe that things can change. Be open to them, even if you cannot control this process and see how it is gonna be, chances are it will be great. Trust yourself too (not your fears though, separate from them).

8- You're on the road of success, whether you see it or not. Keep learning, keep welcoming (your feelings in particular): the more grounded and stable you will be able to be, the more opportunities you'll be able to see and make yours.

9- Always be kind and compassionate with yourself: the mistakes you made today won't ever be the mistakes of tomorrow. Making mistakes is a way of learning, not a confirmation of you not being enough. Nobody ever has made no mistakes while trying or becoming better at something. Be patient and give yourself another chance (and even more).

10- Remember the last decision in your life is always up to you: you're the protagonist of your life, don't let it pass you by. Even if at the moment you cannot see a way out, it will come to you. Keep staying hopeful. Keep focusing on what you can actually control, be it even just your feelings.

11- You're not responsible for anyone's feelings or emotions. Remember you cannot control how they react to you or anything really, and you don't have to necessarily make everything better for others. Respect yourself too.

12- Be confident in your abilities and knowledge. Do not second guess yourself cause you were somehow taught you're not good enough: you are. And you can be wrong here and there too and it won't change your worth ever. Trust yourself whether you're right or wrong and soon you'll be just right.

13- Remember that as you give, you also need to receive from others as much. Stay open to that. You don't have to just empty yourself in order to get crumbles or the bear minimum: that's not what healthy relationships are about.

14- Set your boundaries and stand up for yourself. You're not being selfish for this, as you're not imposing on or taking advantages of others. You're just putting yourself on the same page as them, you need as much respect and love as them.

15- Take care of you: stay hydrated, make your bed, take a shower, go for a walk, enjoy a nice book or video or movie, sing, dance, paint... prepare yourself a nice cup of tea and treat yourself with a little gift here and there. You deserve all this, especially when things get rocky and too much to bear with. Celebrate your little successes too.

16- Surround yourself with the right people for you. If you cannot get away from some negative people, try at least to build boundaries and find other people with whom you can share nice moments of peace and growth, and that can get your feelings too. It's important to communicate with people that can understand us.

17- If you feel alone, try to go out and go visit place where you may find like-minded people. Join a volunteering association, go to a movie teather, a park or a library, or start a course of something you're passionate about. Sometimes we need to be the one creating opportunities to ourselves instead of waiting for others to approach us first.

18- It's okay to feel lost while trying to figure out what to do or where to go. Take a breath when this happens and focus on just doing things you like. The more you'll get to know yourself and work on something you enjoy, the faster you'll get to understand more about the next steps to take. Ask to someone trusted for their advice as well: many times people around us can see us better than what we do. Just remember that not everyone can really do that anyway so trust yourself first.

19- You don't have to work on your fears anytime you get triggered or feel overwhelmed. Take a break, focus on something else and come back to it another day. Taking breaks is part of the healing process as much as working with your shadows and triggers, so take time to enjoy your present life away from that too.

20- Help yourself liberating from the excess of energy, caused by anxiety and overthinking, that you may have stored in your body. Move your body: walk, dance, do yoga or any little light exercise (as much as you body allows). Go back to yourself, get in touch with your body and release what is not serving you anymore.

21- Journaling can help you wording and throwing out your confused thoughts, in order to clear them from the inside. You don't have to write them reasonably, this will come later: just focus on freeing yourself first and foremost. At times we just need to pour emotions/events out to process them.

22- Trauma may have caused you to detach from yourself, so take time know yourself again. Know your values and what you can compromise on and why. List things you like and dislike, what you think are your strengths and what may be your flaws (be objective here, don't let others or your wounds decide for you) and so on... you make the rules. Making lists of pros and cons for something may also be useful.

23- As we never stop learning, we never stop making mistakes and growing. Share everything you got around you, keep welcoming and understanding yourself and the world around you. Keep spreading your talents: yes you do have talents, and no they're not negative ones. Allow yourself to try anything you want: who cares if others do it too? They are not doing it better than you, they're doing it differently. See yourself where you can get just by trying with no pressure.

24- You can also try something new and different from what you're used: getting out of your comfort zone can be very inspiring both for your creativity, your mind and your life in general (and in knowing yourself). Share your finds, share your passions. Don't be shy.

25- Having being judged so harshly during your life has probably made you more insecure and willing to close off from the world: please try and allow yourself to see that even if it hurt you so much, it wasn't on you. You weren't the real object of those judgement. It is always all in the head of the person judging, it's never on the object. Be nicer with you, you're worth much more than that.

26- What is really stopping you from trying what you have in mind? Fear of making or not making? Either way, take your fear by the hand and take it to see how is it gonna be for real. Our minds want to keep us safe and try to make things look worse than they actually are just cause they want to keep us in a known zone. But what if that's not where we're supposed to stay? Or where we want to stay?

27- Don't fear: you won't be let down forever nor you won't be alone forever. Your people are coming, try to get ready to meet them and let them in. You're not made for everyone and, if your past has been tough, you may fear not being good enough for the relationship (any type) of your dreams, but you are. And you'll have the chance to build it the moment you'll be ready for it.

28- You may not trust others much out of past hurt, but the fact is that it's never your fault what others do with your trust. You don't have to feel guilty or any less cause you trusted the wrong people. It wasn't your fault.

29- Take your time when you need to bring yourself closure about an event or a relationship. Go slow and try to welcome and nurture each of your emotions and feelings, of whatever type they may be. Ask for support, talk about how you really feel, write, and slowly go back to your passion. Act according on what you feel like doing. Do not make sudden decisions and also, take time to grieve and cry. Grieving is complex, you'll experience ups and downs: it's okay, give yourself time and space to deal with all that at your own pace and conditions.

30- Healing is not about not being triggered anymore and feeling like nothing can scare you: healing is about learning how to recognize your triggers before they hurt you and taking action so that these emotions won't overcome you as they did. It's about learning to not let your fears decide your actions, but taking actions even if not knowing the results feels really uncomfortable and scary. It's about learning to be in discomfort and not letting this ruin your whole life.

---

I hope these short texts can help you in your journey. I hope you take care of your whole being even if you don't really love yourself. I hope you can see yourself as someone you may end up liking after chatting a bit or as someone in need and that you may want to support. Start with that. And be open to see your good sides too, cause you have plenty even on your darkest days (they never disappear).

[rainecreatesstuff]

something I really really love is the difference between qFit’s and qPac’s reactions to qTubbo’s fears about morning crew.

Like, Fit still cares about Tubbo a lot, still considers him and Sunny family, still loves them, but is so so frustrated by Tubbo acting the way he is. Which makes sense for him. I think that Fit has experienced loneliness enough to recognize it in others, but has experienced the typical loneliness of being physically alone. For him, loneliness is having nobody to watch your back, and seeing others have connections and attachments and aching for that. So for him, when Tubbo starts acting out after he and Pac don’t hang out with him for one day, of course he sees it as Tubbo being childish and frustrating.

And then later, we hear him talking to Ramón about how a friendship needs to go both ways. If Tubbo wants to be friends, he needs to reach out too. He can’t leave all the work for Fit. He sees Tubbo’s loneliness, and asks why he’s not coming to them.

Versus Pac, who I think is much more familiar with the kind of loneliness Tubbo is going through. Pac has had those experiences of being surrounded by people and feeling like you’re in a glass cage, watching everyone else interact while you’re just stuck. He sees Tubbo lashing out and sees it for what it is — an attempt to lessen the hurt of them growing apart by pushing it himself. While Fit strikes back at Tubbo, downs him, Pac just watches thoughtfully. Talks to Fit and Bagi about how they can make Tubbo happy again.

I think Pac understands a little bit better why it’s so hard for Tubbo to be the one to reach out. Gets that, when you feel like someone doesn’t care, it’s a lot easier to leave them be than to try to force that relationship to continue. It’s a lot easier to just wait in silence, to be less of a burden or annoyance, and if they really want to be friends, they’ll come to you.

And Fit’s not, like, bad for not getting it like Pac does. I think, to some degree, Tubbo needs to have somebody who’s not gonna let him stew in self-pity and try to rescue him every time. He needs somebody who’s gonna force him a little bit out of that comfort zone, that’s gonna make him realize that he’s constructing a self-fulfilling prophecy by hiding himself away.

And he also needs someone who’s gonna knock on his door at 10AM and wrap an arm around him and say Hey! We’re going to do this thing! And you’re coming too! I am specifically inviting YOU because I want to spend time with you! He needs someone who’s gonna see his rejection sensitivity for what it is and tell him he is loved and appreciated.

he needs both these things in moderation, and Fit and Pac are gonna be there to give him that. Maybe not perfectly, right now, because the emotional tide’s still high and they are trying to navigate the shift in dynamic.

But eventually, they’ll get there.

[cutielando]

i'll take care of you ~ jj maybank

my masterlist

You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. You reached our for it and when you saw who the caller was, you immediately sat up and answered it.

"Babe? What's wrong?"

JJ's heavy breath was the only thing you could hear.

"JJ? Is everything okay? What's going on?" you pressed, panic settling in your chest.

"Can I come over? I'll explain everything" his voice was so small, you could barely hear him.

"Of course you can, baby"

"I'll see you in 10 minutes" he said and hung up, not giving you a chance to say anything else.

It wasn't weird to get phone calls from JJ in the middle of the night, but he was never this distressed. Your mind started coming up with all kinds of scenarios, one worse than the other.

The 10 minute wait seemed like forever before you heard the all too familiar knock on your window.

You immediately jumped and opened it, being met with the bloody and bruised smiling face of your boyfriend.

"What happened to your face?" you asked while helping him enter your room without making too much noise to wake up your parents.

"Nothing serious, it's fine. Doesn't hurt as bad as it looks" he shrugged his shoulders and laid back on your bed.

You stood rooted in your spot, staring at him. You knew where the bruises came from all too well, but it didn't help that JJ was still trying to hide them from you.

"J, please just tell me the truth" your voice was small, knowing that JJ couldn't deal with screams and anger.

"I am, it's nothint that hasn't happened before. I'm used to it, it's fine" he was now sitting up, patting the spot next to him.

You bit your lip but complied and sat down, putting your right hand on his knee.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this, baby" tears started streaming down your cheeks by now, sobs fighting their way out of your body.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, it's just how he is. He's not always like this, you know, he has his good moments" the fact that he still tried to defend his dad, beaten to a pulp by him, brought even more tears and sadness in you.

"You don't deserve this, baby. Nobody should ever lay a finger on you, let alone a hand. You deserve so much better" you rested your head against his shoulder, squeezing his knee in comfort.

He brought a hand down to his knee and took hold of yours. You interlocked your fingers and squeezed, knowing how much JJ needed to feel you there with him.

"I have you, and that's all I need. Don't be so hard on yourself, it's not your fault" he whispered, kissing your forehead.

"Please let me take care of you. I'll talk to my parents and see if you can stay here for a while. They can even become your legal guardians until you turn 18. I know they'll do it, and you'll finally have a safe place that you could call home" the idea seemed so simple and easy for you, but it seemed like such a stretch to JJ.

"I can't ask you or your parents to do that, babe. Being a burden to your family is the last thing I want to do" he tried to reason with you, but you weren't having it.

"No, you listen to me. I am not letting you go back home, JJ. My parents love you and I know they are going to want to help you. Please don't push me away, let me help you" you were basically begging him at this point, but you didn't care.

Nobody deserved the life that he had, and you'll be damned if his father touched him one more time. You were going to do everything in your power to make sure he'd never received another punch or insult from his dad ever again.

"Okay" he finally whispered after a while, chewing on his bottom lip.

You let out a big sigh of relief you didn't know you were holding and wrapped him in your arms, silent tears falling down your face.

He buried his head in your neck, taking in your familiar scent and warm hold.

He finally felt like things could finally take a turn for the better. Like he would get a new chance at life.

All because of you.

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[oxydiane]

sns is so fucking unhinged and nobody will ever be them i’m sorry. you start the series and it’s like oh haha look at these goofy angsty rivals! they hate each other! then sasuke dies for naruto thirty chapters in giving up his dream of revenge and naruto goes batshit insane. now you’re like ah they’re friends i guess that’s cute! and sasuke is trying to kill naruto because he’s the most important person in his life which is . ok and it becomes the driving force of everything or something. sasuke leaves and naruto dedicates the rest of his life to bringing him back and you’re still a casual fan so ur like he’s doing it for the promise right? then orochimaru says sasuke is his and naruto goes batshit insane feral homicidal (again) and after that sasuke reappears and they have ??? like five different panels dedicated to them staring at each other??? and he jumps off a mountain and hugs naruto for some reasons just to whisper some gay shit in his ear kishimoto frankly needs to be jailed drawing this and keep that best friend nonsense going. anyways. you have sasuke become a convicted terrorist to which the normal people response is “ok we need to hunt him down” and when naruto learns they’re gonna hunt him down he starts screaming crying throwing up he has a panic attack he can’t breathe he’s falling in the snow he gets on his knees and begs them to spare his BFF. after having a meltdown over the thought of sasuke dying what may possibly be the natural coping mechanism any stable person would adapt? of course realising that if sasuke dies he can die too. so he sees sasuke again and after he attempts murdering sakura twice and expresses the intent to murder kakashi he’s like. i will bear the burden of your hatred and die with you hehe and if we both die you won’t be an uchiha and i won’t be the jinchuuriki to the nine tails and we’ll be able to understand each other better in a different lifetime! WE’LL MEET AGAIN IN THE AFTERLIFE BECAUSE NOT EVEN DEATH CAN DO US PART! and sasuke (just as insane as him) doesn’t even flinch he’s like what the fuck is wrong with you but then ok let’s fuckingggf die together on my god i will kill your first anyways . then they find out they are soulmates and get cute matching tattoos on their hands and decide to fight to the death once more because sasuke is back on his i will shoulder all the hatred of the world alone and i need to kill you because i love you more than anyone else in the world actually you’re the only person i love so you need to DIE and naruto is like I WILL NOT LET YOU SHOULDER THAT HATRED ALONE I WILL FREE YOU FROM THE PAIN and they fight and despite all the whatever weapons used in the war it’s a fuckinggg fistfight in which just as sasuke is about to inflict what he thinks is the last blow says “farewell… my one and only…………………. (very long pause to accentuate how heteronormative this next word is gonna be) FRIEND” and fucking stops using his sharingan because not even then he can record the image of naruto dying especially by his hand but naruto STOPS HIM LIKE A f cHAMP and they end up blowing each other’s arms off (rip the matchies) and as they’re bleeding to the fucking death sasuke is like you’re the only person that has never tried to severe their ties with me why do you go so far for me and naruto from the depths of comphet hell is like because you’re my FRIEND and sasuke being absolutely done with this bullshit is like ok what the fuck does that mean to you then and this is where it gets even gayer and relatable because naruto is like i don’t KNOW i just know that when you hurt i hurt and i just can’t take it and isn’t that the most gay experience thing ever? naruto knows what it feels like to have friends but what he feels for sasuke is so bone deep and unconventional that he cannot make sense of it and can only describe the pain it brings. after that sasuke CRIES LIKE THEYVE GOT ME SOOO FUCKED UP but you know what got me even more fucked up?

naruto waking up bloodied and battered and half alive with one arm missing but still wondering if that was heaven because sasuke was next to him. sasuke looking so happy and peaceful when saying “i lost” as a stark contrast to him looking and feeling like half of his body was being torn apart when he “won” against naruto in vote1 and left him. the bitterness of victory vs the sweetness of losing if you will. AND HIM COMPARING WHAT HE FEELS FOR NARUTO TO PRAYING MY GODD. did i forget to mention that then we learn that Ohhh it was never a stupid shallow rivalry as we all thought! they have actually been watching each other from afar since they were little freshly traumatised children and have longed to hold each other’s hands since then! what was it sasukeeee you felt warm and fuzzy when you saw naruto to thought of it as a weakness? these two are so astronomically hopelessly desperately obsessed in love with each other it’s ridiculous i’ve had ENOUGH free me from this mental prison

[gretahayes]

early impulse is genuinely fucking unmatched like. god. you’re so angry. everything is unfair. everyone thinks you’re stupid. everyone would rather talk at you than to you. you don’t talk much and everyone thinks you should shut up anyway. you hate max because he’s unfamiliar and he doesn’t understand you and he’s proof nobody wants to put up with you. you know you’re just a burden to him. you hate him. you desperately need him. he’s solid and unchanging and infuriating and you love him and he never tells you anything and you don’t think he even likes you and you want to rip out his heart and his brain to understand them so you can make yourself something he could love. you miss your grandma. you don’t remember your parents. your cousin hates you and you don’t know why but you know he’s mean and you hate him right back and you know you two are forced to love each other because of duty and because you don’t know how not to. you live in the shadow of your grandfather you will never know. you care so much. you are fourteen years old. everything is too slow. nothing makes sense. you hate everyone. you love everyone. nobody understands you. you don’t know how to exist here, when everything isn’t geared towards what you love and what makes you happy, but you must learn because nobody gives you any grace. you feel like an alien in this time and place and world and body and family. you feel like a ticking time bomb. somedays you explode but that doesn’t get rid of how angry you are. you just feel empty. you don’t like being angry but you’re always so frustrated. you want to cry and scream. nothing is fair. everything is too much. nobody understands you. you want max. you want max to leave you alone. you need max to always be there. you don’t need friends. you love your friends. you don’t understand things everyone seems to implicitly. you have to make all the right choices anyway. you have to be brave. you must be kind. you go to sleep and wake up and do it all again.

[luveline]

𝐚 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 | 𝐚𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐞𝐫

You're not sure you're ready to come back. Hotch has total faith in you. Or, your transition back into the team after your abduction doesn't go as smoothly as you'd hoped. 

6k words, fem!reader, bau!reader, some mutual pining, reader is suffering from effects of ptsd, allusions to kidnapping + torture, hurt/comfort, hotch has a soft spot for you (as do most of the team)

༺༻

Reid was abducted, once. 

You can remember the anxiety of it like a hand around your throat. It feels cruel to say that his abduction and torture had effected you more than if it had been a stranger, but you meet so many people, so many victims of cruelty, that the fear starts to blunt. 

Though it doesn't blur. You find it impossible to forget the people that you've failed, and failing a team mate? That had been excruciating. 

Only when you'd been taken yourself had you realised it wasn't a failure at all. 

You wish the others would understand that. 

"Are you feeling okay?" Prentiss asks as you sit down. 

You suppose you had gone down a bit hard. "Mm?" you hum in question, pulling a copy of the initial case file toward you. 

"You looked a little wobbly." 

"Long night?" Morgan asks.

There's both sympathy and mirth in his voice. If you did have a long night, it wouldn’t be from anything fun. He knows that. Everybody knows that. That's why they're treating you like glass. 

"I actually slept really well," you say softly, returning his smile with one that's entirely genuine. 

"That's good, considering," he says, bracing his forearm against the conference table. 

He's been your number one supporter since you came back. Probably because he feels very guilty about what happened. You'd been paired up at the time. 

"Actually, it's common for people who've been abducted to sleep incredibly well for a long period afterward. It's similar to the leisure sickness phenomena- Your body would have been in defence mode, and-" 

"Reid," Hotch says firmly, stepping into the room with his usual lowbrow. 

"Sorry." 

And the spiel begins. JJ lays out the details of the case she's triaged and the team gives their first input. The barest beginnings of a working theory. You try to contribute and find your tongue a leaden weight in your mouth. Ever since you got back, you've been useless. 

You can't do your job, but thank god you can sleep at night, right? 

You miss the start of his sentence, your focus latching onto Hotch's conclusive, "Wheels up in thirty." 

Your team are standing in seconds, trained in the art of quick departures. You used to be good at this part. You're a good agent, even when you're a mediocre profiler. 

"L/N?" 

You blink. "Mm?" you hum, meeting your unit chief's concerned look with a perfected blasé. 

You've come to a stand in front of the table, and everyone else has left. It's you and Hotch alone. 

"If you're not ready to go back into the field, that's okay." 

If you were Reid, or Prentiss, or especially Morgan, you'd get defensive here, and you would lie well, but you’re a bad liar and Hotch is a great detector for them, so you tell the truth. 

"I'm not sure that I'm ready, but I'd like to go. I won't be a burden. I can work effectively." 

"I know you won't be a burden." 

You tilt your head to one side and feel your hair shift over your thick sweater. You haven't felt like showing much skin, lately. Everybody has noticed, because they notice everything, and nobody has made you feel bad about it. In fact, your fellow agents have made numerous comments about the chilly weather. It's July. 

Hotch's eyes fall to your long sleeves for a split-second. 

"Do you think he's alive?" you ask.

"Sorry?" 

You nod your head toward the board, where the portrait of your kidnapping victim hangs in full colour. "Do you think he's alive?" 

"Unless there's evidence that would suggest otherwise, we shouldn't assume. You know that." 

"I know that that's the answer you're used to giving." 

His voice goes too soft, like he's talking to somebody in grief. "I think he is." 

You honestly can't stand it when he talks to you like this. You tilt your head a little further and see him the way he'd been that morning, his tenderness, his fear. He'd opened the door and suddenly you'd known you were safe. 

He hasn't looked at you right since he found you.

"I have all my best clothes in my go-bag," you offer. 

"Well, go get it. This might be a long one." 

—

The jet is a really nice jet. 

It's hard not to feel impressed by it. It's a vehicle that can take you from one crime scene to another, and it's a necessary expense, but it feels lavish. The clean smells, the comfort, the kitchenette. It has a full-sized toilet. 

"Missed this?" Morgan asks knowingly. 

You wheedle your way into one of the four seats surrounding the main table and smile when he drops down next to you. "Missed using you as my personal pillow, maybe," you tease. 

"Table hogs," Prentiss complains, sitting on the armrest of the couch in defeat. 

You laugh under your breath. Morgan pulls out his laptop and turns the screen so everyone can see Garcia, and as soon as the jet's taken off the second round of speculation begins. 

You regret sitting where you had quickly. You can feel Hotch's analysing gaze where he sits opposite. He doesn't believe you're ready to come back. 

You lick your lips.

"Why would she cut him open just to kill him straight afterward?" JJ asks. "I mean, if she didn't assault him?" 

"It's unlikely that she's a sadist," Reid infers. 

"Disembowelment is a pretty painful, horrific way to die. Maybe she realised that and killed him," Morgan suggests. 

"Remorse?" you murmur. "Could mean she's… younger. And revenge killers don't always see it through." 

"Why take another one if you can't commit to the first?" Prentiss asks. 

"Maybe that's why she took him. She wants time to work herself up," you mutter. 

You hide your hands under the table. It's hard to ignore the similarities with the current case and the one you're investigating. The unsub who'd taken you had been narcissistic and self-righteous, punishing the BAU for stopping her second murder — you'd predicted her next victim and moved him before she could take him. 

So her victimology had changed, and she'd stolen you. 

She couldn't commit to her first session of torture: hesitant cuts, loose ligatures. By your turn she'd improved, but her tentative resolve had remained and she'd run after three days. It's the worst thing she could've done, buying herself less than a week on the run and leaving you with no outside communication. 

You'd almost died of dehydration. 

"She's choosing from a specific group," Reid says. He holds up a photograph of the first victim. He'd been murdered in his bedroom, and the walls are plastered in playboy. Kill all men has been written across his forehead in red lipstick. "Our abductee, he was wearing a t-shirt featuring popular bikini model Miss Olympia. In a state of undress." 

“Is that specific?” Prentiss asks wryly.

"She's angry," you say. 

Hotch leans forward and clicks Garcia's call button. "Garcia?"  

"Sir." 

"Are there any prolific feminist groups in the area? Radicals?" 

They fall into conversation, a pulling and pushing of information. Something about online forums, flame wars, political arguments. 

It's not the strongest theory in the world but they can make it work. You should be making it work with them. 

The flight is an early morning longhaul to Idaho and you work the case the entire time you're in the air. There's an abundance of coffee that you reject because you're worried it'll rehash your on-again off-again migraine, and while your teammates are offering theories, intertwining details with bright eyes and bushy tails, you struggle to keep up. 

There's a lull before landing where everybody parts ways. JJ moves to sit with Prentiss where they talk in hushed but conspicuous giggles. You hear the words Will and dishes and back rub and decide to stop listening for your own sake. 

Morgan laughs, having heard what you just heard and liking it a far deal more, and stands. "Coffee?" he asks as you yawn.

You shake your head sluggishly. "Be quick, we'll be landing soon." 

"I know, sweetheart, I heard the same announcement as you." He takes your empty water glass with a supportive squint. "Let me get you another." 

"Thanks." 

You'd regretted your seat as soon as you'd taken it, the feeling of being boxed in having grown and grown over the course of the journey, and Morgan’s brief departure gives you some much needed space.

You squeeze your hands together until your knuckles ache. 

"L/N?" 

Hotch is looking at you. You know exactly what he sees. Someone who isn't ready to be back in the field. Someone who isn't being effective, as you'd promised. 

"You okay?" 

"Just warm,” you lie, pushing your hair away from your neck. 

You're a bad liar. He gets up to turn on the air conditioning anyway. 

You slouch down in your chair and pretend to nap for the rest of the flight. 

—

Crime scenes where people died smell bad. It's a fact. They smell like pee, the sharp stick of ammonia, and the metallic aftertaste of blood. You're trying hard not to fall into your own memories of the two. 

You need to move past what happened. The only way you're gonna be able to do that is to re-desensitise yourself, and that includes volunteering for the nasty stuff when Hotch tries to relegate you to questioning witnesses. 

"I'm not good at interviews," you'd said plainly. 

And he'd taken it for what it was and let you do what you usually do: you look for clues. If anybody could hear you think that you'd be ridiculed, but they can't. You enjoy yourself. 

Let's Scooby Doo this bitch. 

"Careful," Hotch says, holding a hand near your hip. You'd almost stepped into the largest puddle of blood still wet in the very middle. 

Right. He'd let you take the gross job but now you're being babysat. 

What did she do in this room? Why did she kill him here but abduct the second man? 

"If it weren't for the photos, I'd never link this victimology," you confess. 

The photos. The unsub had sent pictures of her abductee with Kill all men written across his forehead. In lipstick. 

What changed the MO? Why kill the first at home and steal the second? 

The political theory feels more plausible. 

"I think you would've." Hotch casts his gaze over the desk. "This is a messy one. Opportunistic but personal. Our unsub, she…" His voice turns to a mutter, as it tends to do when he hits a roadblock. "She wants attention, because the first murder didn't do what she'd hoped." 

"What is she hoping for?" 

He picks up a piece of coloured paper and holds it up to his chest so you can see it. It's a flyer for speed dating at a Café Martini, every Friday at 6PM. 

"Where was Paul last seen?" you ask. 

"Good question." 

He takes his phone from his pocket to call Garcia. 

You listen to their conversation for a while, his serious questions and her flirtatious answers. 

You look back to the floor and push the white toe of your tennis shoe into the rug until the rubber's red with blood. It's not good practice. You're now a walking biohazard. Why is the blood still wet? It should've sunk into the carpeting hours ago. How much did he bleed? 

When you'd been abducted your unsub hadn't been keen on torture. She'd made small, quick cuts over your upper arms, more to punish you than because she truly enjoyed it, and she'd hit something important by accident. 

The blood had pooled in the crook of your elbow. It had stayed wet for a long time. You remember trying to clean yourself up with your t-shirt, too drugged up to move right, and eventually the drugs had worn off and it had really, really hurt. 

This boy had been cut from hip to hip. 

"Maybe you should go sit in the car," Hotch says. 

"Why?" 

"I've been talking to you."

"I've been listening." 

"Don't lie." Hotch takes a step forward, black shoe close to your white. "Look at me." 

You look up, eyebrows raised as you try to blink yourself awake. His eye contact is something you've always struggled to hold, knowing he's learning a lot more from your expression than you are from his. You press the backs of your hands to your cheeks and find them hot with embarrassment. 

"I'm really sorry," you apologise, eyes aching. Not burning, just aching. Like a bruise. 

Hotch nods, expression impassive. "It's okay. Go sit in the car." 

He outranks you as an SSA, he's your boss for every intent and purpose. He's your friend, sometimes, and you've yet to see him make a bad call. You listen and go back out and down to the car. You've already broken your promise not to be a burden. 

Best to play along and play well. You don't want a desk job. You don't want to lose the team. 

In the car, things feel better. It smells like new and you take some time to breathe it in with slow, deep breaths. The pine tree air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror is still soft and wet to touch. You rub it between two fingers, pensive, until Hotch appears from the house. He looks severe and solemn as usual when he opens the car door and climbs inside. 

"Tell me if you can't do this," he says. He never beats around the bush. You wish that he would. 

"I don't know." 

"I need a yes or no." 

You're screaming at yourself to say yes. Hotch stalls with his hand poised at the ignition, waiting for your answer before he turns the key. If you say no, I can't do this, he'll take you back to the room. You know he won't hold it against you because he'd tried to persuade you to take more time off, as much as you needed. 

Being alone reminds you too much of your abduction. You hate how you can't stop thinking about it. At work, at home. What if this is it? This is the only thing you're going to think of for the rest of your life. 

Unless you can get some new memories. 

"I can do this." 

"I know that. Do you know that?" he asks firmly. 

You lean your head back against the headrest and turn your face to look at him fully. You hadn't been expecting any praise, any softness. You're fucking up on a time-sensitive case — he should be reprimanding you. He should send you packing to Virginia. 

"I'm sorry," you say softly.

"For what?" he asks. His eyebrows pinch up at the starts, his lips curve into a frown. 

It's startling to see so much emotion on his face on the job; Aaron Hotchner has a switch. He comes to work and he turns off everything that doesn't help the case. Only on rare occasions do you get to see him as a friend — his laughter over group dinner dates, his gentle smiles when he'd kept you company in the hospital. 

"For being- For being disorganised," you explain choppily. It is not the right word. 

He turns the key and reverses out of the parking space before speaking. "You are an asset to this team. If you can't be an asset right now, that's fine. If you need to go home-" 

"I don't need to go home." 

He doesn't seem offended at being interrupted. "Your wellbeing is more important than your effectiveness as a profiler. But you can't get in the way." 

"I won't." 

"I know you won't. Just…" He pulls his phone out of his pocket, dials a number. He's not looking at you when he finishes, "Calm down. Stay present. We need you with us." 

You turn your face to the window so he can't see your smile. He hasn't been this nice to you since your birthday. 

—

The thirty six hour mark comes to pass quickly and you find yourselves no closer to a positive ID on the unsub or their location. Any leads you follow dry up, witnesses won't cooperate, nobody has slept properly (besides yourself), and the boy's parents are hysterical. Hysterical and an irritant. 

You can hear them arguing with Hotch and the police chief in the other room. 

"You look amazing," JJ says tiredly. You can't tell if her annoyance is genuine or not. 

"Did you sleep?" you ask. 

JJ looks amazing herself despite what she might say, all perfect skin and lovely blonde hair like a moving sheet of silver-gold. You revere her pretty thin sweater with poorly hidden envy as she yawns and stretches against her straight-backed chair. 

"I slept. Bed was about as comfy as this chair," she says ruefully. 

"Ninety percent of all abduction victims are killed within the first thirty-six hours," Hotch says as he enters the room, in what Morgan would call his drill sergeant's drawl. "Every hour past that point, the percentage increases." 

Everybody in the room knows that statistic. His passive aggressive reminder serves to electrify a dozing Reid and a slumped Prentiss, both of which sit up in their chairs and pretend to be busier than they are as he makes his way into the room.

"Actually," Reid whispers to you, voice rough with fatigue, "the math isn't that simple." 

"Do you want to explain it to me?" you whisper back. 

You can't admit to really truly listening to Reid's explanation. You want him to feel heard even when you don't have the capacity for it, so you nod and hum as he explains, heads bent together as the rest of the team trade new theories. He talks surprisingly quickly for all his fatigue, and before you've realised it he's talking about something new. 

"Reid," you intrerupt gently, "can I ask you a question?" 

"Go ahead." 

You look up. Everyone seems too busy to be listening to you. You take what semblance of privacy you can and push your chair an inch closer. 

"Do you think I've been an efficient agent these last two days?" 

He juts his head forward. "You've been distracted. Tired, unfocused. But your insight on the unsub's age and what you said about her propensity for regret are both incomparable parts of the profile." 

"But easily something someone else would've suggested?" 

"Not necessarily." He smiles at you, a mirthful quirk. "Psychologically, the effect that working a case so close to your own trauma," — you bite your tongue in surprise — "would render the average person prone with memory. It also gives you a thought pattern that not everybody else would have." 

"You have it." 

"Let's focus on the behaviour pattern," Hotch says. 

You'd agreed to run point today. Or rather, Hotch had said, "L/N, you'll run point," and you hadn't argued. After all, yesterday had been telling on how much you can handle. Crime scenes are a no go. 

Not that there's any crime scene left to analyse. Your team have spent hours and hours trying to draw blood from stone. The case hadn't felt so impossible on the jet, and now… 

"I'm benched," you murmur. 

"You're not benched," Morgan says, which is irksome because you'd been talking to Reid. "If you were benched you'd be back in Virginia typing up my paperwork." 

"She doesn't care about the crime scene, she doesn't care about the crime itself. There's nothing in it for her besides making a statement. So why take a hostage with no ransom, no instruction? Why tell us you have a hostage and cut communication?" 

You rub your eyes at Reid's questions and find you have no theories to offer. You have nothing. 

"Work the problem," you mumble to yourself. "Work the problem. Where would she go?" 

She cut that boy from hip to hip. She killed him quickly after rather than leave him in pain, but she disembowelled him for the statement it would make. For the… mess? 

You feel off-kilter enough to stand. You weave through people and hesitate in front of Hotch where he's reading over the timeline, waiting for his face to turn before you talk. 

"Hotch," you say tentatively, "what if she's like… an arsonist? Disemboweling is messy. The blood was still wet when we got here two days later, and it ruined the floor." 

He thinks for a second. "Her escalation from a private mess to a public one would make sense."

"We thought the pathway from murder to taking a hostage was a step backwards, but what if it's not about the murder at all, it's about the blood?"

"It's common for arsonists to suffer paternal violence," Reid chimes in. "Could explain the unsub targeting men with outward misogynistic attitudes." 

You turn to find the whole team looking at you, a familiar drive on each of their faces. 

They rebuild the profile. Reid fiddles with what you've said, they specify, they redirect. 

Your moment of clarity dissolves quickly but you try to help as they move on to possible locations. If the unsub wants to make a scene, light a metaphorical fire, there are plenty of places she can do it this weekend. 

Surprise surprise, Garcia confirms a 'men's rights' rally happening in around two hours, and suddenly everybody's in motion. Hotch lists instructions and the team disperses. You've done it all a hundred times before, Hotch quadruple that, Rossi octuple.

"L/N," Hotch says. 

You lift your face to his. 

He's really quite close. 

"Do you want to stay here?"

You take note of his wording. Do you want to stay here? 

His phone is already in his hand. You don't wanna waste anymore of his time. You're pretty useless during movements anyways. 

"Is that okay?" you ask. 

He doesn't say yes or no, his head doesn't give the slightest nod or shake. His eyebrows remain in their usual pushed down position. "Expand the profile. Make sure we haven't missed anything." In case the unsub isn't where you think. 

And then he leaves. 

You take your seat at a now hastily vacated table and spend an hour on the laptop with Garcia. She's mostly at the beck and call of the rest of the team, but it's nice to listen to her clicking away. 

She hangs up when the team are about to storm the rally venue and things get difficult. 

You'd passed all your psych evaluations to return. You can be an effective agent. You can work. 

You know all of this. 

It won't stick. 

You don't have a clue how long you spend staring at the table when your phone starts to ring. "Morgan?" you ask, pressing the screen to your cheek. 

"Hey, sweetheart, we got her. And Paul, safe and sound. You ready to go home?" 

"Uh," you say, trying to understand what he's said. "I'm not sure." Your migraine is coming back. 

When a person gets dehydrated your head starts to pound. It's like a heartbeat, a pulsing ache at the base of your skull and your temples. 

You know that it's all in your head, but ever since you got back you've been victim to what feels like a hundred headaches. 

Your head hurts, and you look at the floor and suddenly the floor isn't the dull blue carpeting of the police station, but the plywood of your unsub's warehouse. 

"Are you there?" 

"Morgan, I don't feel well," you say. Your mouth is full of cotton. 

"What?" 

You cast your gaze around the room. 

You leave your phone on the table, unsure if you've hung up, and make your way out of the conference room they've delegated to the BAU. You're in two minds. You know where you are, and who you are, but you feel like you're back there. The walls look like the police station walls but the floor looks like the base plywood of the warehouse. 

I'm just thirsty, you think. When you'd been kidnapped you'd become dehydrated somewhere between the fourth and fifth day, and that had come with some minor auditory and visual hallucinations. Dark spots in your peripherals shaped mildly like people, murmurings that could've been the cicadas. Right now, there's a low pitched ringing in your ears. I'm dehydrated. I'm fine. I need a drink, and I'll be okay. 

You don't have the facilities to smile at the people you pass, easing your way through officers and into an empty break room. There's nobody here. 

You round the table in the middle of the room and move to the cabinets and the sink basin. You take a mug into shaking hands and turn the faucet on. 

The water is frigid and soon your fingers are like ice. You part them in the stream, watching the water worm down your palms and wet the cuffs of your sleeves. 

"Agent L/N, is everything okay?" 

You turn with a smile, ready to assuage any fears, but it's her. 

It's obviously not her. It's not her, but she looks like her. Same face, same hair. You turn back to sink and fill your mug. 

"Agent L/N?" 

"Please," you say quietly. 

"Agent L/N?" 

"Detective, would you excuse us?" 

His voice. Your shoulders relax just enough to ease the ache in your neck. You hear the woman depart, but you're disorientated enough to ask, "Is she still here?" 

"She's not here." 

“She looked-“ like her. You press your wet hands to the bottom of the sink. It's silver and covered in scratches, a thousand scratches that glow white with the fluorescents. "I don't think I should be here," you mumble. 

"I think you're overwhelmed." 

"I am." You cringe at the numbness spreading up your arms. "I don't know how to make it go away." 

Hotch isn't just your boss. He's a father. He was a husband. He knows how to comfort somebody and he's proven that to you already, but you're still surprised when he pulls your hands out of the sink. He holds both in one palm while he turns off the faucet, and then he tears off a wad of paper towels and starts to dry your fingers. 

"You're not in any danger here," he says, turning your hands palm up. "There are a wall of people out there who would stand in front of you. Nothing is going to happen to you." 

Despite his careful reassurances you're curling in on yourself, trying to hide. You don't want to be here. You're not sure where you want to be. You have the self-awareness to know you're being awful, that this is embarrassing, and you've put Hotch in a position he likely doesn't want to be in, too.  

You blink at his chest. "Where's your suit jacket?" you ask. Your voice sounds far away in one ear and too loud in the other. 

"I left it in the car," he says lightly. "We just got back from the rally. You were waiting for us here." 

"I didn't go." 

"No. You haven't been at your best." 

"I'm trying." 

"I know," he says softly, thumbs rubbing over your warming fingers. "I know you are. You're doing really well. Why don't we sit down?" 

You let him lead you backward into a hard-backed chair. He doesn't sit with you, but he doesn't let go of your hands. They're limp in his and smaller, colder. 

You think he might be the only thing keeping you here. 

"I've never been that scared before. I've had a… gun to my head and… it wasn't even her-" You choke on it. "Her. She hurt me and it wasn't even the worst part." 

He frowns down at you. "What was the worst part?" 

You let your fingers unfurl across his open palm. He pulls your hands to his chest, sandwiches them between his own hands and his crisp white shirt. His tie feels silky soft. 

"I didn't want to be alone. I," — you close your eyes and press your chin to your chest, hiding, always hiding — "knew I wasn't going to last long by myself. I could see that bottle of water on the table and I couldn't reach it and I just kept waiting for somebody to open the door and pass it to me, and I was so scared that nobody was ever going to do that.

"I close my eyes and- and I see it. I see the wood flooring, and I see the table. I can't remember anything that she said to me anymore, but I remember thinking you weren't ever coming to get me." 

You can see the way the light from a crack in the corrugated roof had lit the water bottle up like a lamp. You barely have to think about it and the image of it is there. Your mouth had ached.

You can see him if you try a little harder. The door flying open. Hotch in his vest with his hair falling onto his forehead, a gun in one hand and a flashlight held high in the other. His broad, quick sweep, and then the way he'd leapt for you. His voice, shouting, screaming instructions. You can feel his hand behind your head, his fingers pushed roughly into your hair. 

"You're okay," he'd said. 

You trust him with your life. You've never had cause to doubt him. But you hadn't believed him then, and you're not sure you do now. 

His expression changes slowly. He moves both of your hands into one of his own and squeezes them reassuringly as he cups your cheek. It's a quick touch, a half-second of contact. 

"You made a mistake, in that case," he says, hand moving from your cheek to the hill of your shoulder. 

You tamp down a wince. "Yeah." He's being generous. You'd made hundreds of mistakes. Every opportunity to save yourself wasted. 

"Your mistake," he says, holding your eye, his voice gritty with severity, "was thinking I wouldn't find you.”

He turns to a blur the longer you stare at him, panicked tears welling up with nowhere to go. You tip your head forward so he can't see them, and he steps closer in turn, ushering your face into his abdomen. 

His hand falls to your trembling back. 

"That was your only error. You did everything else right." 

Your tears come thick and fast. Hotch doesn't baulk. 

—

You agree to take some more time off. 

Realistically, you can't be an effective agent or a reliable member of the team whilst smothered in memories as you are. You don't take it personally when Hotch insists, as he takes great care to explain to you what's happening. 

This isn't a punishment. You need more time. 

You're a safety risk. Not that your consultation isn't valuable, it is, you're still a good profiler — an amazing profiler, if your team are to be believed — but you're in the aftershocks of a traumatic event. 

A wound can't heal if it's being picked at. 

"He said that?" you ask quietly, bed sheets upto your chin. 

Hotch's voice rings scratchy with tiredness down the line, "He said you can have all of the blue ones." 

"He's generous. He gets that from his dad." 

"He's much kinder than I am." You hear a small voice on the other end, and then a muffled, "Yeah, g-man, I'll tell her. I'll tell her right now. Okay. Y/N?" 

"Yeah, still here." 

"Jack says," he recounts, parent tone in play that tells you his son is nearby, "that you can have all the blue and all of the green band-aids, if you need them." 

You stare up at the white plaster ceiling of your apartment, a tiny smile playing on your lips. 

"Tell him I said thank you. I'm sure they'll make me all better in no time." 

He tells Jack what you've said. You hear his lovely voice saying something too quiet. "What was that?" Hotch asks him. 

"I said," Jack says, voice close to the receiver, "she just needs a kiss because they always make me feel better." 

"I've been getting lots of kisses!" you promise him, turning to look at your nightstand. 

Propped up proudly is a picture of you and your team in that restaurant in Las Vegas, where Reid hadn't been able to use his chopsticks, and where Hotch had laughed so loudly you'd felt your heart skip twice. It's surrounded by a sea of 'Get Well Soon' cards, and backdropped by a small bouquet of sweetpeas. 

Tell me when they wilt, Reid had said. And I'll get you another bunch. It's been proven that flowers have a long term positive effect on moods. People who received flowers regularly reported less agitation, less depression, and an overall sense of satisfaction. 

Beside the sweetpeas, in pride of place, is a handmade card from none other than Jack himself, though the message inside was penned by an older hand. 

"I'm well looked after," you say, smiling softly. 

"You're well loved," Hotch adds. 

That, too. 

༺༻

again, im not that used to writing hotch so despite my character study he may feel a little ooc that's my bad, hard to show him pining bc he's such a professional at work. thanks so much for reading!! if you enjoyed, please consider reblogging i promise it means so much to me ♡

[pyreo]

I'm comparing the Dungeon Meshi manga to episodes I just watched and now I gotta capital-p Post about this one episode (spoilers past Episode 12)

So this part is an emotional side-step from the central throughline so far - Laios and Marcille got Falin back successfully and reunited, and they got that payoff from the very beginning where they thought it would be impossible. But Chilchuck is very much a part of these layers of development, so after that dragon finally dies, we stop for a second - Laios and Marcille are recovering, Falin has disappeared again - how does Chilchuck feel at that point?

It's the perfect stage to insert that because he didn't really share in that sense of victory in the same way as Laios and Marcille recovering someone extremely close to them. And that's on purpose because he keeps everyone at arms' length. As soon as that arc hits its end and Falin is recovered, there's at last space to ask - why is Chilchuck even here.

He's asking himself that through the chapter. Now that they've lost the person they intended to save, he regrets agreeing to come.

And starts shouldering responsibility for everything ending up this way. We saw that when he got stuck in the mimic room before - he refuses to let himself ask for help, or he'll try to take burdens alone to lessen relying on others. The original Touden Party was six people, and when Laios insisted on going back underground they were two, and he knew they would die, and figured maybe, maybe if they were one more, with his skillset, maybe they'd have a chance. He couldn't let them walk back down just to die.

And he's going back to that mindset - their lives are on me. He thinks he could have prevented this if he'd chosen differently. Essentially, the walk alongside the orc woman is him working through a guilt spiral.

He sees a second chance to correct that mistake of joining the party. He wants them out now, before they die. The orc asks him how they defeated a dragon and, in explaining it, he reminds himself of all the risky, ridiculous things they had to do, and he isn't satisfied with just getting lucky. Laios got his foot bitten off, on purpose! This proves to him that if they go any further they will not survive. And he hints at this dissatisfaction a couple chapters later, wishing his teammates prioritised things other than winning at all costs...

Like, obviously. The point of this chapter is Chilchuck pretending to be a self-serving coward. To the point where others react with disdain, even disgust, towards him because he wants to lie to Marcille and Laios to ensure they turn back. He's desperate to get out of a hopeless situation by any means necessary, and will destroy his standing in the group in a blink if it means nobody else dies. He has to go on a stupid mental health walk for his stupid mental health and talk through his little bout of panic and doubt.

'You called me a coward so don't be surprised when I act accordingly'

He needs someone very blunt to tell him 'dude you're not being a coward for wanting your friends to get out of hell alive. you're a coward for making excuses instead of honestly telling them your concern is genuine' and he BSODs about it. He needs to rant and externalise that frustration over their recklessness at a third party. He needs to scream that they are idiots because he's the only one for which the ends don't justify the means and he can't keep losing his mind over everyone's safety. Down to a point, the orc praises their ability to survive the explosion from the dragon's fuel sac, and it only justifies Chilchuck - Falin didn't even know she could cast the spell that stopped them all being killed, and they cannot continue getting lucky like this.

Anyway. The reason I stopped to think about it was this part-

Where he recovers Laios's monster-infused sword. The thing that made their situation in the dragon fight go from bad to worse, that he swore at Laios for in every language he knew. The most angry we'd seen him. And now he calmly picks it up and praises it for being the only one of them smart enough to make a run for it.

He's projecting, obviously. He's internalising the label of 'coward' and changing himself to fit it. And, look at him, he's so tired of this. It's evidence of his sheer exhaustion that his anger immediately disappears and he actually gives it a compliment. Him and Laios's sword, the group cowards, the only one who agrees with him.

Then, because he had a walk before getting into the argument, he's organised his feelings and drops all the walls and pretense and just says it.

There's a rule of writing where you contrast your high energy sequences with parts that are slow and mundane, to make the difference more apparent. I think that's why I like this bit so much. The fight against the dragon is long, and the emotional stakes are enormous. Right after that we have the bath scene with Falin and Marcille, and Laios ruffling Falin's hair, and this part that pauses everything to explore the stuff that Chilchuck finally needs to say. And it's wrapped in this neat little solemn journey to pick up their supplies and remember how it felt when all five of them had a meal around a real dinner table at last.

And because he doesn't resort to individualistic trickery, because he explains his point as a duty of care rather than pitting himself against the others, he gets backed up. Senshi agrees that they don't have the supplies to continue, and the orc lady mentions her brethren will return later and can give them support, all of which together breaks down Laios's singleminded devotion to his cause.

Personally I think the manga's better suited to comic timing, but in the anime you can get fleshed out little moments, like Laios's face journey as he realises the other three are making a good case for their survival.

This was my favourite part so far, and I like how both Chilchuck-centric episodes have separated him from the others. Because he won't reveal anything he's thinking otherwise. lmao

[kairismess]

ushijima wakatoshi: your shy secret admirer.

ushijima wakatoshi had this weird knack for being interested in things, concepts, and people he couldn't exactly understand; and this is where you come in—the object of ushijima's accidental affection, affection he hadn't realized he harbored for you until, after probably three years of tendou pointing out how strange his interest with you was—that was kind of on the level of him loving volleyball... it was like you casted a spell on him to not want anything or anyone else, but to do volleyball and... to see you everyday.

ushijima wakatoshi has a hard time understanding others' feelings, let alone his own. he struggles to show how he really feels about you, so he tries to be subtle and ultimately straight up asks the guys on the team about what it's like falling in love.

ushijima wakatoshi is catapulted into unfamiliar territory; what he understands of 'falling in love' is kind of like that feeling one gets when they receive a perfect spike, or pull off a kickass service ace, or feeling that burning passion that erupts in your chest when you finally realize that what may seem fruitless at first, if you dedicate enough time to it, will yield fresh, ripe fruits in no time—no matter how barren the land is.

ushijima wakatoshi is the barren land in this case; he's the clueless, hopelessly in love, yet unaware of it, loverboy that's so into you. it might be a little ridiculous to say that the super ace ushijima wakatoshi is a loverboy when he's not always that expressive—but if you only knew how much and how often you occupied his mind, you'd be convinced he was as dense as a boulder, because his feelings were so obvious... yet he never realizes it.

ushijima wakatoshi used to be able to only talk about one thing, and it was always volleyball—everything else was the about what the others wanted to talk about, but he never really felt engaged in those conversations... until they were about you. about how cool you were, how interesting of a person you were, and about how... "their eyes always look so full of wonder. it's like... you feel gravitated towards them." "...pretty sure that's just a you thing, wakatoshi." "that can't be right. well, anyway, i'm a bit concerned about the chest pain i've been feeling recently. whenever they come into mind, a sort of... strange feeling rises up my chest and lingers there, i don't know why, i haven't been lifting recently, but—" "wakatoshi, i'm your best friend so i'll just spell it out for you, you're in love, big fella."

ushijima wakatoshi feels the feeling surge up and rises to his cheeks. for the first time in ever... the shiratorizawa boys' volleyball team witnesses ushijima wakatoshi, their super ace, all flushed and embarrassed, red in the cheeks, because of how much he loved you and being confronted with the fact that he did, indeed, love you.

ushijima wakatoshi wanted to do something about these feelings, he didn't want to be burdened with eternal chest pain and a heat in his face that felt feverish, but in a good way, whenever he looked at you, heard you speak, or thought about or even dreamed about you. he wanted to make the first move... no matter how impossible that seemed for him to do.

ushijima wakatoshi no blocks could ever stop ushijima wakatoshi from spiking, nobody could ever stop this man when he was on a roll... except in terms of love, only you could stop ushijima from thinking straight and sending him in into tunnel vision, thinking about and focusing only on you.

ushijima wakatoshi blushes at the notion tendou encouraged him to go through with, clutching the bouquet he arranged on his own with flowers fresh from his family's garden, and with a lump in his throat he could never swallow down. "hey," he says in a low, rumbling voice. the thought of him being scary or intimidating never entered his head—all that he could think of was how adorably tinier and sweeter you seemed in comparison to him; making him love you all the more. he hands you the bouquet, maintaining eye contact with you as the feverish flush came back. "...you're beautiful." he mumbles, the red in his cheeks becoming more and more evident the longer he spent around you. he was whipped for you, he was smitten with you—ushijima wakatoshi wanted to let you know... "...and i love you."

[loaksbitch]

possessive!neteyam thoughts — (⨳,✿)

warnings: light toxic behavior but it’s fictional soo..(?) marking, mate press, mating, breeding kink, neteyam literally fucks reader on every spot omaticaya village.. lmk if i missed any :)

possessive!neteyam is definitely the type to literally mark you and claim you as his in every way possible. love bites all over your neck, inner thigh or even your..arm. he’s just so obsessive and wants any na’vi dead or alive, you are his.

possessive!neteyam loves to hold your hand, he’s such a craver for skin contact and he’s touch deprived soul. it’s as if he’s calm when he’s close to you, touching you.. all the feeling, his sadness or burden of trying to being perfect son or warrior like he always is evaporates quick.

possessive!neteyam gets jealous so easily, matter of fact he even gets jealous of your top loincloth. you won’t even dare to forget how he was genuinely upset about your top holding onto your breast while his hand were begging to hold your tits for you. “my hands are literally fucking free for you, baby.”

possessive!neteyam is secretly into breeding kink. it’s not a secret on how he just wants to fuck you raw for hours and stuff you with his babies, making you walk around like a the little angel you are knows in the village. it just makes something in him go feral, “you are so hot when stuffed with my babies, y’know.”

possessive!neteyam is such a sneaky bastard. i’m any way possible, neteyam manages to pull your heart out from your skin with his stupid sneaks. sometimes you wonder how you ended up with that man, genuinely asking eywa if he was…okay? it wasn’t even normal sneak he does. sometimes neteyam even hides and secretly loves to watch you take a bath, knowing you won’t technically take a bath only. he would find himself palming his stiff cock under his loincloth hearing your soft mewls as you please yourself.

possessive!neteyam is jealous two times worse when people mess with what’s his. neteyam was known for growing up being the giver and never the taker, but when it comes to you? fuck taking and giving cause everyone should know you’re his and his only. and so, that’s why now at this time, neteyam got you all fours while pounding into your abused cunt harsh. “fuck yeah, those bitches better know who you scream for. you’re mine.” he huffs, leaning to your back and pulling you up by your neck. “you. are. mine.” he grunts sternly.

possessive!neteyam likes to steal your panties, that’s a hidden persona of him that nobody must know but obviously you know. he steals them when he goes out for a war party, knowing he’s gonna be alone and there’s no source of contact with you for few days. he uses those garments to jack off at night, slightly satisfying him for a while. but once he’s back home, you’re not gonna be able to walk straight for days. or worse, weeks.

possessive!neteyam definitely loves marking you, biting on your neck to imprint the sharp edge of his teeth. your scream is what arouse hum more. neteyam is not a into pain or never likes watching you in pain but there’s something different about this one, him having you pressed to the mattress while his arms are sneaked and holding your legs to your chest while his hips snapped vaguely. “you’re so fucking small and tight, baby.”

© loaksbitch 2k23 — please do not copy, repost or translate any of my works on other platforms without permission.

[weneeya]

comforting nanami after a long day ??

Angst to fluff ofc, he starts being dry over text and accidentally ignores u at home but then realizes and apologizes and we comfort him <3

some peaceful time w/ nanami m.list | rules

note. YES omg I love this idea as much as I love nanami himself, thank you for this!! feel free to request :)

Nanami Kento wasn’t the type to do anything that could hurt you. In fact, he was always really careful about it because he loved you so much ; doing anything bad to you was probably the worst thing for him. But today was complicated. 

He had a difficult day, a way too long one which seemed to never come to an end. You tried to text him, because you started to worry as he was usually never this late. Except that you didn’t think he would be this harsh to you. His messages were dry, more than they have ever been to you. It was almost like you were annoying him. 

You decided to wait until he came home, so you could understand what was happening. But when he finally came back, he didn’t even glance in your direction. You stood up to welcome him, but your husband simply made his way to the kitchen without caring about your presence. It hurt, you had to admit it. He never treated you this way and you thought that you did something wrong. 

You decided to leave him alone, not wanting to be more of a burden than you already seemed to be to him. You joined the living room again, sitting on the couch and taking back the book you were previously reading. Maybe it would help you think about something else. 

As Kento was drinking the coffee he just made, as it would be a good idea, a long sigh left his lips. He turned around to say something, before he noticed that you were gone. This is when he realized what he had done since he came home. He closed his eyes, another sigh leaving his lips. He massaged his temple for a moment, before he came back to the living room. 

He simply walked towards you, before kneeling in front of you. You put your book on the side, a slight frown over your face. What was he doing exactly? Nanami took the book from your hands, putting it on the table behind him. Then, he took your hand between his and left a kiss on top of it. You finally met his gaze, and you could see how tired he seemed to be. 

“I’m sorry my love, I shouldn’t have acted this way with you. Forgive me, please,” he said, and you didn’t give him the time to say anything more. You made him stand up, and guided him to sit next to you on the couch. Kento let you do it, as he didn’t have the strength to disagree anyway. 

In no time, he was now laying down on the couch, with his head on your thighs. Your fingers were slowly running through his hair, and he had his eyes closed. He could almost be falling asleep right now. Nobody was able to ease his heart and his mind as much as you could do it. 

“How about you take a few days off? You need it, Kento,” you started, and he simply hummed as an answer. You were probably right, he really needed those days to take some time. Not only for himself, but also for you. You deserved to be treated better, and he was ready to spend his days off only by taking care of you. You were the best thing that ever happened in his life.

as I always say, here's the best husband anyone could dream of <3 thank you for reading!!

[tubatwo]

back into you - choi beomgyu

summary: beomgyu is a sweetheart and you just want to be his friend

pairing: gn reader x choi beomgyu

genre: fluff; 1.3k words

a/n: gyu saying he wants to be invited to hang out more broke me </33 btw the other boys don’t exist here because they wouldn’t ignore gyubear like that

playlist: adoy - wonder, adoy - swim

if you didn’t know choi beomgyu by now, you were basically an idiot. choi beomgyu was a friend to all. people either wanted to date him or be him (or maybe both).

but there was only one problem.

many people saw beomgyu in the wrong light.

ㅤ

ㅤ

ㅤ

a typical day at school for beomgyu consisted of a few tasks: making the classroom laugh, making the staff laugh, making his friends laugh; basically just making everyone around him laugh.

once he completed those tasks and was back in the comfort of his own bedroom, he was able to take his mask off. be himself. fully, and completely. it’s not that beomgyu wasn’t a naturally funny guy, or that he didn’t enjoy bringing happiness to those around him, it’s just that he was starting to feel a bit burdened. on days when he wanted to keep to himself, people huddled around him, asking why he was suddenly quiet. if he was alone, people would look for him to make them feel better since they were feeling “soooo bummed about failing the quiz”

oh, and don’t even get him started on his love life.

girls constantly touching his shoulder, laughing a little too hard at everything he said to the point where it felt forced. it was almost exhausting.

at the end of the day, beomgyu was just a quiet boy who wanted to be loved. he had a bittersweet relationship with silence. during the day he desperately yearned for it, but at night it was like a reminder that loneliness came with it. beomgyu didn't want anything grand. he simply wanted someone who understood him.

it seemed like nobody understood any of this. nobody except you, of course. you noticed it. you noticed him in the library, headphones on while staring out the window. you noticed the soft smile on his face whenever the class was assigned to read love poems. you noticed the look of disappointment on his face whenever he tried to talk to his friends about a new band he discovered and they brushed him off. you noticed because he reminded you of yourself. to you, beomgyu seemed unattainable, but you were going to make it your mission to be his friend.

a few days later…

a test was coming up and you wanted to take some extra time to go over your notes. you decide to skip lunch and find an empty classroom to study in. after successfully avoiding any roaming teachers, you walk around the hallway until a familiar tune reaches your ears.

give me a feeling, slowly in a deja vu

it wasn’t loud at all, just enough for you to hear as you passed by a door. you peek through the window and see beomgyu doodling in his notebook while swaying his head. you hesitate before slowly opening the door, making beomgyu look up in surprise.

“sorry! it seems like we had the same idea,” you begin, “is it okay if I study a bit here?” beomgyu smiles and nods. “are you sure I won’t be a bother?” you ask, just to make sure. “no, it’s okay, really.” he reassures you before going back to his notebook. after a minute or so, you decide to make small talk. I mean, this is the opportunity you were waiting for, isn’t it?

“I really love this song!” beomgyu’s head immediately lifts at this. “really? you know them?” he asks. you nod and smile. “yeah! this one’s my favorite, but I also love their song lemon.” beomgyu gapes at you a bit before smiling and asking, “you’re y/n, right?”. you look at him with wide eyes, not expecting him to know you at all. “yeah, and you’re beomgyu?” you ask, already knowing the answer. you could’ve sworn you saw his ears go red. “the one and only.”

you and beomgyu spent the rest of the lunch period sharing music recommendations. before you left, he asked you for your number so he could make you a playlist. you felt like your heart was going to explode. a playlist? usually, you’re the one making people playlists, only to receive a simple thumbs-up emoji in return, and now beomgyu wants to make you a playlist?

the few days you two spent together turned into weeks, and then months. eventually, you and beomgyu made the tradition of meeting in the empty classroom every lunch period. it felt like the only time when you could quietly bask in each other’s presence. this was until it wasn’t. you and beomgyu were drawing doodles of maltese puppies and tiny bears in each other’s notebooks when you heard loud footsteps nearing the room. a group of people barge into the room giggling, making the two of you flinch.

“yo, gyu! where you been?” a guy asks before walking over to ruffle beomgyu’s hair. the guy takes a look at you and smiles mischievously. “oh, did I interrupt something?” you see beomgyu put on a fake smile before responding. “no, they’re my close friend, sometimes we study during lunch breaks.” you try not to blush at him referring to you as a close friend, and not just a friend. although, a large part of you wished for something more. beomgyu’s group of friends decide to make themselves comfortable and sit in the other chairs. beomgyu gives you an apologetic look before you shake your head at him, signaling that it was okay.

after a while, one of the girls looks at you with squinted eyes and speaks up, “gyu, they’re so quiet… how do you even get along?” your head lifts up and you fidget nervously, all eyes suddenly on you. “and what is this song? god, it’s putting me to sleep.” a different girl chimes in.

beomgyu slams his notebook shut before sighing. “could you all leave them alone? you know nothing about them.” he looks down before quietly mumbling to himself, “you know nothing about me…” the room is filled with an awkward silence before the guy from earlier clears his throat. “uh, okay, how about we just see you later?” the sound of chairs squeaking fills the room as they all get up and leave.

you turn around and place your hand on beomgyu’s arm. “hey, i’m really sorry about that…” beomgyu looks at you in disbelief, shocked, but not shocked enough to ignore the feeling of your soft hand on his skin. he shakes the feeling off before apologizing. “what? no, don’t apologize. they shouldn’t have said those things to you. they don’t understand.” you give him a smile before removing your hand, leaving his arm feeling colder than ever.

a moment of silence passes before beomgyu speaks up. “I can be myself with you.” you look up to meet his eyes, the two of you staring lovingly at eachother before the sound of the bell interrupts you, shaking you out of your trance. you both begin packing up and you softly grab his arm, giving him the warmth that he desperately missed. “would you wanna maybe…” you trail off, “do you wanna go to the new arcade with me this weekend?” beomgyu freezes and blinks at you as you continue. “I also know this really cool cd shop nearby, so maybe we could go… there… too?” you hesitate, starting to believe that you’ve crossed the line by seeing beomgyu’s blank reaction. you almost turn around to accept defeat before beomgyu suddenly goes, “yes!”. he notices how loud and awkward his response was before correcting himself, “I mean, yes, I’d love to.” you smile softly at eachother as he grabs both of your hands into his.

later in the week you receive a text from beomgyu.

gyu<3: can’t wait for our adventure tomorrow! :)

below the text is a link to a playlist labed “♥︎” and the first song is adoy’s swim.

I think of you

when I am sad and down

when the silence makes me cry

when it’s hard to try

I simply fall back into you

[kannra21]

Contrary to popular belief, Gojo Satoru was never in a relationship. And he was fairly awkward to say the least. Sure, girls had a crush on him and he was chased all around the block, but he never truly attempted to make a move so it never worked out. Because of his job and because of who he was- the honored one, brought a veil of loneliness in his life and misfortune to people who associated with him. He never really knew how to deal with girls- joking and teasing was his way to go, but that only brought him rejection and girls would often shift their feelings to Suguru. His youth flew before his very eyes and he's 30 now. All of his friends died mostly and he's still taking care of the kids. At least he has a goal to maintain and raise a powerful generation of young sorcerers. It still doesn't take away from the fact that he's a lonely 30yo man. He could deny it as much as he wanted to, but it pained him.

Because of the staff shortage, Tokyo high was in dire need of new recruits, and that's where you came into the picture. A foreigner yet so oddly familiar, the girl next door, acquainted with the sorcery and sacrifice that came with it. Your serious expression and tired eyes told him everything, there was no need for words. He understood quite well, he could relate to you and find solace in the fact that someone shares his burdens now that he's not so completely alone anymore. You're so young, so pretty and yet so damaged by the world that it makes him feel overprotective of you. He wants to give you peace the way nobody ever did for him. But that's ok, he's the strongest after all. You're smiling under your breath, you're a sorcerer as much as he is. He's supposed to do his job and not care too much about what's going to happen to you on missions. The truth is- he didn't want to lose another person again.

So he took you out everywhere, one day it was Tokyo's famous coffee shop, the other was a prestigious high end restaurant. You realize he's rich, still, you didn't want to take advantage of him. He insists, he wants to spend time with you. He wants to know you better, ever went as far as escort you to dorms to take a look at your room. You tell him you're not the glitz and glam type of girl and that you're ok with the normie stuff. And he liked you more for it. So you had room hangouts, small coffee dates and arcade games. Sometimes it makes him cry when he remembers that he used to do all those things with Suguru and Shoko before. You felt nostalgic too, your childhood was basically ripped from your hands and there was nothing you could do about it except reminisce. But you were adults now and lingering on the past was useless. Only thing you could do was move forward.

Satoru doesn't like to talk about himself much, you noticed. But that's ok. It's probably a dark story, not much different from yours. You already knew of the Gojo clan and their connection to Michizane Sugawara. All his family members are dead, you didn't know why but that's probably what happens when you're a well known name in this dark sorcery world. Everyone goes for your head, especially the higher ups. Which is ironic considering they're supposed to be associates. Maybe he is the strongest but this was a thankless job. And sometimes it seemed like everything was put up against him. Not you though.

At first you were plainly colleagues, nothing special. Then friends. Then the lingering touches started to feel more frequent than usual. Then he kissed you for the first time- it was when he opened up and how he's wishing for more positive things, something that could potentially lighten up his world. He doesn't want to be alone and he doesn't want to feel like life just flashed before him. He wants to make an impact, even if it meant making you happy, because you were enough to him. And you felt the same way. This love didn't feel like fire, a burning spark of the moment- hurried and tasteless. It felt like a deep sea of calmness and assurance- you could be yourselves with each other, you didn't have to pretend anything. Because being each other's safe space was enough.

Funny, Tokyo high needed new recruits again since you were on maternity leave and no matter how long they awaited your return, you never quite seemed to come back to work. Satoru is laughing because they're blaming him for everything and he can't deny it because it's the truth. He has a beautiful wife and beautiful babies to come home to and the best part- you don't have to be exposed to the dangerous sorcery world anymore. The kids were lively and annoying but god did they remind you of him. They preferred you more though. You're laughing and Gojo is pouting because it's not his fault that he's away from home all the time. He's missing you so much. But, of course, they're sleeping with him when you're away doing your face routine before bed. You return to your room and see them huddled in Gojo's arms. It's adorable and you get emotional again.

Please don't die Satoru. His missions were getting dangerous by the week and seeing his smiley face on the doors hugging your kids was everything you could hope for. You begged him to change jobs but he doesn't want to listen. He claims that he's responsible for the imbalance of the world and therefore he should be the one keeping everyone safe. He's stricken with guilt. Or maybe it's his hero complex that makes him so rebellious to authority and, in this case, his wife. But he'd rather die a honorable death than be taken out by something embarrassing such as old age or sickness. You're begging him to think of the kids and he does, he's thinking about them every single day. Their safety is his top priority, so is yours. And you're scared, you really are. You love him so much. You wish things could be easier, but it's ok. As long as you have each other's backs it didn't matter. You can overcome any obstacles together. He's not alone, he has a family now.

[adiraargent]

You drew stars around my scars - Slytherin Boys

summary: Slytherin boys (Taylor's Version) x Reader warnings: mentions of scars (not specified what from), swearing, smoking includes: Theodore Nott, Mattheo Riddle, Jasper Rowle, Draco Malfoy and Tom Riddle - I will do a part 2 with other characters if anybody wants one :) wc: 2373 Part 2

Theodore Nott - Cardigan

Theodore Nott sat beside you on the edge of the bed, his gaze tender as he studied the scars that adorned your skin. You could feel his fingers tracing gentle patterns along the lines of your past, his touch feather-light as he navigated the landscape of your history.

As you looked up at him, a warmth swelled in your chest, but you couldn't help but worry. Worry that he was just use you, use you like others had done in the past. Tossing you away when they were done with you.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite

"Thank's for sticking around Theo," you murmerd softly, your cheeks flushing a pretty pink tone.

He looked up at you then, his eyes filled with an intensity that took your breath away. "You are my favorite person in this shitty world," he murmured, his voice soft like the rustle of leaves in the wind, despite the crude words. "Every scar, every imperfection, only serves to make you more beautiful in my eyes."

His words washed over you like a soothing balm, calming the storm of insecurities that raged within your soul. With Theodore by your side, you felt safe, protected from the harsh judgments of the world by the warmth of his love.

And when you are young, they assume you know nothing

People had always judged you for something, it was a judgemental world that you lived in. Maybe someone judged you for your skin, or your scars... or maybe just the way that you wore your hair. Maybe it was your weight or your height. Nobody was perfect... thought Theodore Nott would beg to differ, in his eyes you were the embodiment of perfection.

And of course, people judged you for being with Theodore Nott, a Slytherin boy with a troubled past. One that liked to smoke and drink, that liked to get into fights and argue with teachers and students alike. But you were in love. 'Love?' they'd ask you and laugh. 'You're so young, what the hell would you know about love?'

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss

Theodore's fingers stilled against your skin, his eyes searching yours with a depth of understanding that left you breathless. "I may not have all the answers," he said softly, "but I promise to stand by your side through every uncertainty, to hold you close and chase away the shadows of doubt that threaten to consume you."

And as he leaned in to press a gentle kiss against each scar, his lips a tender caress against your skin, you felt a sense of peace settle over you like a warm embrace. With Theodore, you knew that you were never alone, that no matter what trials and tribulations lay ahead, you would face them together, hand in hand, heart in heart.

For in his touch, you found solace and strength, a reminder that love had the power to heal even the deepest wounds. And as he traced stars around your scars with his fingers, you knew that no matter how dark the night may seem, the light of his love would guide you safely home.

Okay but i'm really happy with this icl

Mattheo Riddle - Mine

And I remember that fight, 2:30 AM As everything was slipping right out of our hands

As the moon hung high in the sky, casting its silvery light over the darkened landscape, you quietly snuck out of your shared home , your heart heavy with doubt and fear. Tears streamed down your face unchecked as you clutched your suitcase tightly, the weight of your decision bearing down on you like a heavy burden.

You had always struggled with trust issues and abandonment fears, scars from a childhood marred by betrayal and heartache. And now, faced with the prospect of being completely in love with a boy who had been nothing but good to you, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of it all.

Mattheo Riddle, that cocky, short-tempered Slytherin, had become the center of your world, a beacon of light in the darkness that threatened to consume you. You got together in your second last year of school and were still together now a year after graduating. And yet, the thought of allowing yourself to fall completely and unconditionally in love with him terrified you to your core. You loved him, you knew that you did... but did love really exist? Falling in love was dangerous, it was setting yourself up to get your heart broken.

"I'll never leave you alone," his voice echoed in your mind, a soothing melody amidst the chaos of your thoughts. You had been sitting at the Black lake, the two of you had been together for 3 months and it was the first time you had told each other 'I love you'

But as much as you longed to believe his words, the scars of your past lingered like a shadow, a constant reminder of the pain and suffering you had endured. Even after all this time, you still had doubts. And so, with a heavy heart and tear-stained cheeks, you made the decision to leave, to distance yourself from the one person who had come to mean everything to you.

I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street Braced myself for the goodbye 'Cause that's all I've ever known

Bracing yourself for the goodbye, you took a hesitant step forward, the weight of your suitcase dragging behind you like an anchor. But before you could take another step, a voice called out to you from behind, stopping you dead in your tracks.

Turning around, you saw Mattheo running towards you, his eyes filled with an intensity that took your breath away. "I won't let you go," he said, his voice trembling with emotion. "I'll never leave you alone, I promise."

And in that moment, as he took you in his arms and held you close, you felt a sense of peace wash over you like a wave crashing against the shore. For in Mattheo's embrace, you found solace and strength, a reminder that love had the power to heal even the deepest wounds.

I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter

"I promise I will do everything to prove I am nothing like he was," he whispered against your ear, his words a testament to the depth of his love and devotion. "You're the best thing that's ever been mine."

And as you looked into his eyes, filled with love and sincerity, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together, hand in hand, heart in heart. For in Mattheo Riddle, you had found a love worth fighting for, a love that would stand the test of time.

Jasper Rowle

As you and Jasper Rwle walked hand in hand through the winding streets of Diagon Alley, a sense of contentment settled over you like a warm blanket on a cold winter's night. His hand in yours felt like home, grounding you in the present moment and reassuring you. You felt so safe with him, the way he softly rubbed your hand with his thumb sent warmth through your body, the heat being a stark contrast to the snow falling around you

"Can I go where you go?" you whispered, your voice barely above a hushed murmur as you gazed up at him with adoration shining in your eyes. You didn't mean to say it out loud. But you just wanted to be with him as much as possible, the way you felt when you were around him was unlike anything you had felt before.

You felt alive, wanted... loved.

Jasper's lips curved into a tender smile, his eyes sparkling with love and affection. "Forever and ever," he replied, his voice a soft melody in the air. "You and me, always."

And as you walked together, lost in the beauty of the moment, you couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude wash over you like a wave crashing against the shore.

Take me out, and take me home

He brought your hand up to his lips, placing a soft kiss against your skin, "c'mon, lets get to the three broomsticks then I'll take you back, its not good for you to be out in the snow for too long, I don't want you to get sick.

You're my, my, my, my Lover.

"Okay my love," you replied with a smile, letting him pull you along in the direction of the pub.

Jasper's grip on your hand tightened, as though afraid to let go, as though afraid that this perfect moment would slip through his fingers like grains of sand. "You're so gorgous," he whispered, his voice filled with a tenderness that took your breath away. "i adore you."

And as you walked together, lost in the maze of streets and alleys, you knew that no matter where life may take you, you would always find your way back to each other.

Draco Malfoy - getaway car

No, nothin' good starts in a getaway car

The sun had dipped below the horizon, casting a golden hue over the sprawling grounds of Malfoy Manor as Draco Malfoy and you sat together on his expensive broomstick. It was a moment suspended in time, a brief respite from the chaos and turmoil of the world outside.

As you gazed out at the rolling hills before you, Draco's hand found yours, his touch gentle and reassuring. But beneath the facade of tranquility, there was an undercurrent of tension, a sense of unease that lingered in the air like a shadow.

It was the best of times, the worst of crimes

You knew Draco was a death eater now, knew he had done bad things and helped bad people but you couldn't bring yourself to leave him. You loved him, and whenever you thought about the bad things he had done, your heart was quick to remind you of all the good times you had together.

All the late night talks, the joking around, the kissing and holding... everything.

But as the miles stretched out before you, you couldn't help but wonder if it was worth it.

I wanted to leave him, I needed a reason "X" marks the spot where we fell apart He poisoned the well, I was lyin' to myself

You fought to held back tears, the two of you were now on the run and now because of him, you were leaving all your friends and family behind. You were a traitor now and it was all his fault.

Draco's grip tightened around the broom handle, his gaze distant as he stared out at the sky ahead. "I knew it from the start," he admitted, his voice tinged with sorrow. "We were cursed."

You were drivin' the getaway car We were flyin', but we'd never get far

You new the order would be after you soon, they knew what Draco had done. You wrapped your arms around him tighter, burying your head into his back as you held onto him, scared of falling.

Ridin' in a getaway car There were sirens in the beat of your heart

And as you flew on into the night, the sirens in the beat of your heart seemed to grow louder, a relentless reminder of the consequences of your actions. You should have known that you'd never leave, that the promise of freedom would come at a steep price, one that you weren't willing to pay if it meant leaving Draco.

So still, you clung to each other, two lost souls adrift in a sea of chaos and uncertainty. For in each other's arms, you found solace and strength, a beacon of hope in a world gone mad.

And as the stars twinkled overhead and the world blurred past, you knew that no matter where the road may lead, you'd never leave him

We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde (oh-oh)

Tom Riddle - right where you left me

Help, I'm still at the restaurant Still sitting in a corner I haunt Cross-legged in the dim light They say, "What a sad sight"

Under the soft glow of the restaurant lights, you found yourself seated alone at a corner table, the memories of your past love weighing heavily on your heart. Friends had come and gone, relationships had blossomed and withered away, but you remained rooted in the past, unable to move forward.

Your eyes kept flicking up to the empty chair in front of you, your plate of food going cold as it sat in front of you completely untouched. The workers looked over, eyes filling with sympathy and sadness at the all-familiar face they had seen too many times, brief flashes of the happy couple that had once sat there.

Everybody moved on I, I stayed there Dust collected on my pinned-up hair They expected me to find somewhere Some perspective, but I sat and stared

As you sat there, lost in your thoughts, the echoes of the past danced around you like ghosts in the night. You remembered the first time you had met, the way his smile had lit up the room and warmed your heart. But now, all that remained were distant memories, fragments of a love that had once been.

You couldn't help but wonder if he ever thought about you, if he ever regretted the choices he had made. Did he know that you were still waiting for him, still hoping for a second chance at love? Or had he moved on, leaving you behind like a forgotten relic of the past?

Right where you left me You left me no, oh, you left me no You left me no choice but to stay here forever You left me, you left me no, oh, you left me no You left me no choice but to stay here forever

The restaurant buzzed with life around you, the sounds of laughter and conversation blending together in a cacophony of noise. But amidst the chaos, you felt alone, a solitary figure adrift in a sea of strangers.

And as you sat there, watching the world pass you by, you couldn't help but feel a sense of longing wash over you like a wave crashing against the shore. You longed for the warmth of his embrace, the comfort of his presence, but you knew deep down that he was gone, lost to you forever.

Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it

Yet, despite the ache in your heart and the tears in your eyes, you couldn't bring yourself to leave. You were stuck in the past, trapped in a cycle of longing and regret, unable to move forward without him by your side.

But as the night wore on and the restaurant began to empty out, you knew that you couldn't stay there forever. It was time to let go of the past and embrace the future, to find happiness within yourself and move on from the love that had once consumed you.

With a heavy heart and tear-stained cheeks, you rose from your seat and made your way towards the door. And as you stepped out into the cool night air, you made a silent vow to yourself to never look back, to keep moving forward no matter how difficult the journey may be.

If our love died young, I can't bear witness And it's been so long But if you ever think you got it wrong I'm right where you left me

But it was a vow you knew you'd break just for him.

written by @adiraargent

Please do not steal or post anywhere else <3

Requests are open!!!

Bye for now