#nobody tells you that most of them are form like. the most serious scenes in the show tho lik jdbfbckfbfkfkfk help me

[dewkook]

lacy

"it's like you're out to get me, you poison every little thing that I do"

pairings: jk x oc x reader

genre: one shot, angst, sad, spoiler: nobody involved is actually happy with their life, not so detailed past actions/intentions, being each others lacy

song: lacy by Olivia Rodrigo

Hiya looked at the scene unfolding in front of her. Eyes laid on you and your waves. She wondered if you made your hair wavy on purpose or if they naturally appeared like that. Regardless, you looked effortlessly stunning today with your blue summer dress and your creasing eye smile. You’re currently talking to Jeongguk while holding the 8-year-old in your arms. The 8-year-old that is not your daughter. The-8-year old that is in fact, Jeongguk’s and Hiya’s light of the world. 

Hiya cleaned the table while still setting her eyes on the two of you chatting. You stayed over for dinner tonight and were ready to head home. The two of you were standing next to the entrance and it’s you with your arms stretched to the door knob ready to bid your goodbye. Jeongguk is looking at you like he always does. That certain longing smile and the deepened look of the need to not wanting to end the exchange. The longing stares that drive Hiya insane. 

She was depressed perhaps ? Or maybe it’s just one of her jealous feelings lurking out again. Which mostly happens when you come over. It’s one of those nights where she realised once again that she’s living her worst nightmare. The one nightmare she feared the most when she was 17. 

Back then it was just a small suspicion. Maybe a little bit of envy but that’s it. You told her multiple times about the crushes you would have on random high school boys or celebrities, so she wasn’t ever once worried about you, her best friend, doing something sketchy with her back then boyfriend, Jeongguk. You wouldn’t even dare to do something like that to your best friend. Hiya knew and trusted you enough to be hundred percent sure. And as mean as it sounded, she knew you never even had the guts to it. 

She did know that you and Jeongguk were ying and yang itself. The banters you would have with each other back then during movie nights, teasing you every single time when the three of you would watch a horror movie, you telling him to be serious with school and stop messing around and him just nodding along so you’d stop nagging at him. Hiya knew you liked Jeongguk for a while. She was well aware of your little secret crush since she saw you lurking on him in P.E class back then. You and Jeongguk sat together in chem class and talked a bit here and there before Hiya got to know him. 

Hiya was intrigued seeing you with him. She wanted to know him and what better opportunity presented itself when she found out you knew him ? Besides you never would’ve made a move on him anyways. 

So they became a thing. Hiya and Jeongguk always out there partying together, drinking, getting high. Matching and worsening each other’s energy. You would never come along to their shenanigans. Always telling them to be careful and that’s it. The three of you would hang out to chill or “study” if you can even call it. Hiya was young, too engaged to even notice the growing relationship you and Jeongguk have formed. Always assuming it’s the sibling kinda love or them just tolerating each other for the sake of her. Or maybe she was in denial. Hiya doesn’t remember quite well what she felt at that time. Yet over time she noticed that during sleepovers the three of you had, Jeongguk would always disappear out of the bed that Hiya and him shared just to find out he went to you at the porch since you were always there at night to witness the night air. He’d go to you to have the talks. Gosh these talks. He’d always get advice from you and you would lash out about all the beautiful and poetical things that fascinated Jeongguk so much. How Hiya hated them. Let’s just say Hiya wasn’t the most serious or academic person. She hated thinking about her future. While everyone else was planning about going to college, wanting to make money and who knows what, Hiya just wanted to live in the moment. Get in trouble maybe once or twice a week. She knew she was not the best influence on Jeongguk, but she knew she always wanted him by her side. She wanted him so much. So danm much. 

The minute she realized that Jeongguk was less and less in love with her she panicked. The uninterested answers, the questions of where you were and why you wouldn’t hang out with them. Fights started and on and off breakup’s happened. But Hiya knew Jeongguk would always come back to her. Whether it be for the sole reason that she was the only way for him to still see you or not. Hiya’s heart was sensitive and she did handle a lot of stuff in the past very irresponsible. Becoming pregnant was per example not something that was on anyone’s agenda. Pregnant at the ripe age of 17. She was a child and so was Jeongguk. 

Looking back at the memories Hiya chuckled. Hiya loves her daughter. She resembles Jeongguk to the core, which is slightly unfair simply because she was the one having to endure carrying her. But nevertheless she loved her baby. But if Hiya could go back in time without knowing what it’s like to have a child…she would’ve told her 17 year old self to get rid of the kid. 

17 year old Hiya did think of that. Feared that she or Jeongguk were not ready for a kid. Feared the thought that she’d be a terrible mother and would just leave everything behind. Feared that in years into the future, Jeongguk would resent her for trapping him into a loveless marriage. Feared that in years into the future, she would witness the current scene that happened in front of her. Once again, she knows you’d never do anything or act out anything out of pure respect towards Hiya. 

But Jeongguk. Jeongguk was so fucking obvious.

So easy to read with his eyes. It’s like he could walk in the streets with a sign that says “I’m in love with my wife’s best friend” and it would look the same as he does right now in Hiyas eyes. 

Both of you hugged each other goodbyes, and she sees Jeongguk closing his eyes. She decided to ignore the fact that Jungkook hugged you a little longer than necessary. She also decided to ignore the stare he gave to you when you looked away just to give their daughter a hug. Furthermore, she decided to ignore the fact that when you turned to Hiya with your stretched arms reaching for her to come, his smile faltered a bit. Like it’s a reminder. A reminder to him of “Oh right. I have a wife”

Hiya walked towards you welcoming your embrace. “Already? You’re leaving us ?”, giving you a weak smile. “Yeah sorry guys gotta go. Boss is being a real pain in the a- …i mean he’s gotten harsh lately”, you say while scratching your head in hopes that the little girl didn’t hear you. “Probably one of the last dinners for a while where I’m over. Dude stacked us with loads of work. Seriously who does he think I am”, you say while looking out at the open door. Right. You and your beautiful career. Working as a assistant for the Council. How successful and yet humble you are. 

Hiya wants to shoot herself when she hears Jeongguk laugh at your remark while gazing at you like you are the most precious thing on earth. Like he looks at their daughter. Like someone he loves from the bottom of his heart. 

Hiya knows Jeongguk would never act out on his feelings but what pains her is that he wants to. 

The night ended and Hiya is laying on her bed thinking to herself, once again, that she’s raising a child with Jeongguk knowing he was constantly looking over her shoulder at you. Both of them have been fighting constantly almost every day and its eating Hiya up. Drowning into so many thoughts and years of denial. Constant thoughts about how she messed up two people that could’ve been happy together. Hiya knows she is not a saint. Knows she can be villainous. Has had her acts of impulsiveness. The walking figure that is you with the following lovesick eyes of her husband is a reminder for the price she needs to endure. It’s poisoning her brain. You do. 

She did have thoughts of maybe cutting ties with you over time. Friendships happens like that sometimes she thought. People just grow apart. So over time you would just go she thought.

But you were her only friend. The second she found out she was pregnant she ran to you. The second her and kook had a fight, she ran to you. When she found no one to babysit, there was you. She hated that the most. You were just such a good friend and it killed her.  

The help you gave, benefited her so much, yet it killed her when Jeongguk picked their daughter up from your place, he’d come home later with their daughter. The tiny girl wouldn’t tell her mom how daddy came to pick her up from baking with auntie yn. No, it was her running up to Hiya telling her “Daddy came and joined auntie and me with baking.” 

Such a sweet torture you are to her. 

Hiya’s got everything a typical woman in her late twenties could imagine. Being married, owning a house, a beautiful daughter and a successful working husband. Everything. Yet her stomach is all in knots. You got the one thing that she wants. 

With your beautiful delicate fingers you have him, her husband, wrapped without even knowing. Or maybe you know. Hiya doesn’t know if it's karma or just really her fate. 

———————————————————————————————————————————

You’re getting ready for bed as you sit up on the corner of your bed to put some lotion on your legs. Watching TV when nothing really bugs you really. You think about today. Hiya and Jeongguk and their beautiful daughter. You look back on the past and on how Hiya has told you about her new target. 

“Wait who?”, you ask while eating the last chip of the package. “Jeon Jeongguk, that one guy from P.E who is your lab partner”, Hiya says. 

“No not him. Hiya please he has enough trouble in his life don’t ruin him too”, you barge to her. 

“First of all, rude. Second of all, he’s such a hottie. Aren’t you and him like almost friends ? Might as well set me up with him”, she says while looking for more chips in the cabinet. “No you can’t. I’m not doing your cupid work for you. Besides he has told me that theres a girl he likes but won’t tell me who when i asked him” , you tell her while trying to come up as nonchalantly as possible. 

Truth to be told, you liked him. Really. It’s not that big of a crush but Jeongguk was nice to you. He would make some weird joke to you and you’d laugh at them no matter how stupid they would be. 

He was nice company and a great lab partner. “Sharing” him or introducing him to Hiya would change things. 

“So? I saw you talk to him and maybe next time you just mention me. He’s hot yn. Pleaseeee. Pretty Pleaseee~”, Hiya looked into your eyes while making a face with both of her hands on your shoulder. The cigarette on her hand was positioned right into your face and you started coughing. 

“It’s not like you want him or anything right ? I’m surprised you’re even able to talk to boys.”, Hiya speaks up when you didn’t say anything. 

Her sentence rubbed you the wrong way and you suddenly feel small. Why did her words affectyou so much. Not wanting to turn the topic on you you nod, “yeah whatever. I can introduce him to you if you’d like”, you say, trying not to sound irritated. 

“REALLY? I LOVE YOU AH ! Okay how about tomorrow when….”, Hiya continues with her fanatical talk while you’re dozing off on the last thing she said. Not able to talk to boys…she’s right though. Do you really have a crush on Jeongguk or do you just like him cause he talks with you ? Your mind is laughing at yourself and your delusional thoughts. You were overthinking so much into yours and his exchanges. 

The next morning Hiya and Jeongguk were already in Lunch talking with each other without you doing anything. Good for them you thought as you walked past them. You saw Jeongguk waving you over to them but you chose to ignore them and the image of Hiya not even sparing a glance at you. 

You turn off the lights and decided to stop thinking about things that happened in the past. 

You decided to ignore your jealous mind every time you looked at Hiya and her life compared to yours. Despised your rotten mind and how much you worshiped her over the years. But mostly despised your past self for giving him up so fast.

[nexkoyotl]

Can we please talk about how Natalie is maternal?, like I know Shauna is the one who is the most in the whole group, but literally nobody talks about Natalie.

At first we don't see her interact with Javi too much but that makes sense, she is hooking up with his brother wich makes it weird specially because Travis "acts" as if Javi was just annoying him. But then as things with Travis get more serious and Nat realizes how much Javi means to Travis, she at first thought he was dead and was unhealthy for Travis to just keep holding to "fake hope" but when Javi is back she tries to redeem herself but not for Travis anymore but because she actually wants to do something for Javi, maybe as an apology?.

Now, we didn't see as many interactions of Javi with Nat as we did with Shauna but she still impacted him in some way because he knew how important Nat was for his brother and impacted enough for him to wanted to save her.

And of course, Natalie as many of the other suffers Javi's dead because they were part of it, Nat literally tries to justify herself with Travis, but let's put that aside, everyone that eat from him is "guilty". But Nat tried to save him, she literally was about to do it if it wasn't because of Misty, but Natalie could easily push her and get him but then she would have die, she chose herself instead of him and I don't blame her due to their situation, they were hungry and scared. But again, this doesn't mean she doesn't blame herself after since she CHOSE not to save him.

Now I don't see Natalie as the one of "I want to have kids" type, specially after how her parents were and I don't mean she is like "families are the worst is just the same" no, I mean as "I'll become one of my parents" situation, specially after Javi, chosen herself instead of the kid is something a father like hers would have done, she believes she is such a pretty shitty person that she would be a shitty mother as well. So In short I just mean that for her is more of "I don't want to hurt a kid" than "I don't want that life again".

But now we go to the "present"

Natalie has been in and out of rehab for 5 times now, of course If she consider herself a shitty person before the crash then just imagine now? So she continues this toxic path of drugs and alcohol, probably same as Travis, now idk if they ever were a couple after they were back but I'm pretty sure "settle down" wasn't really an option they consider or at least not her for what we have seen so far.

Then we get Kevyn, he was her best friend back then and I guess they like each other at some point and now he is an attractive divorced man that still likes her but he has 2 children, and when she tell this to Shauna and Tai they both are like "that sound complicated" but Natalie affirms that she doesn't care. Now, I don't think she was talking about Kevyn's ex since she has never cared about that as we see with Travis and Jackie, so I guess she talks about how she doesn't care about Kevyn having kids.

And in this scene of Mason's game she actually was enjoying before the Ptsd kicks in.

Now, where am I going with all this? Motherhood and maternity are a whole spectrum in the life of a girl, not matter how you view it, as positive or negative, it still forms a part of girlhood, and I think for Nat is more than we realize, she claims she is poison, she is selfish and that everything she touches dies but she was also the hunter, the provider, care for the younger, gived advices, protector, etc.

But what do you guys think? As I say this is a topic that has an impact in every girl's life no matter what, for me I see Natalie like this, maybe in another life, she would've had kids or just like the idea of it. (Specially since I've known a lot of people that you wouldn't think of them on wanting a family or settle down but then they have kids and are like the best kind of parents) is so sad we never got to see Nat thinking about it, she probably didn't even had the opportunity to do it, specially since she died when she was just healing.

So again, what do you guys think? Can you see what I'm trying to say or am I just crazy?

[justnat15]

BfG!Shifter!Ghost and the pack baby

Hey, hello! This is just a little snippet of feels inspired by my lovely wifey @writeforfandoms series, Born for Greatness. I highly recommend reading it first so things make more sense. We've had many a talk about the characters and how life went on for them outside the story and she gave me permission to play in her sandbox and write this! Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Fluff, small moment of angst thanks to our Ghostie boy. Baby (does that need to be a warning?)

Word count: 1.2k

You stood in the doorway to the pack room, blinking back tears that threatened to fall due to the adorable sight in front of you. Most of the pack was out on a training exercise, except Simon. He’d gotten a serious injury on their last mission and was still healing. He hadn’t complained much about it, though. Usually, he was prowling around base, chomping at the bit for Medical to clear him for active duty. 

In fact, since little Audrey had been born, Simon spent even more time in or near the pack room, which you didn’t think was possible. You were sure Soap and Gaz hadn’t noticed yet, due to the lack of heckling towards their quieter pack member. 

You continued to observe the scene in front of you. Ghost was laid out on the LoveSac, sans mask for once, and had Audrey curled up on his chest. It was quickly becoming a common thing, particularly when the other guys were out and it was just you and Audrey around. 

You purposefully made a little noise as you walked into the room, even though Simon most likely already knew you were there, and knelt next to the pair. Audrey’s eyes were closed as she snoozed. Carefully, so as to not disturb her slumber, you ran a hand over her little brown curls. 

Some days, you still couldn’t believe that you and John had made this precious little baby and you had carried her in your body for months. 

A soft rumble from Ghost turned your attention to him and you smiled at him. “How long has she been sleeping?” You kept your voice quiet, not worried about your packmate being able to hear you.

“Just a few minutes,” Simon muttered softly. He cupped his hands around Audrey, the large appendages dwarfing her tiny sleeping form. 

The shifter really was a gentle giant when it came to the pack baby. All of the boys were, but Simon took it to a different level. He was always the first to step in when you started to look a little frazzled and Audrey was feeding off your stressed emotions. He’d swoop in and oh so gently pluck your daughter from your embrace while telling you to go have a snack or go ‘rescue’ your mate from his never ending pile of paperwork. You’d do as told while he rocked and hummed to his niece, calming her almost instantly.

When you had mentioned this to Logan over a video chat one night, he had just smirked and shook his head. 

“Riley better not think he can replace me in my grandcub’s heart. I’m going to be her favorite, after you and Price, of course.” He added the last part when you glared at him.

You placed a hand on Simon’s shoulder and nodded towards your daughter. “Want me to take her and lay her in her crib?” You knew what the answer would be, but you still felt obligated to ask.

Ghost’s answering glare would have sent a lesser being running with their tail, metaphorical or literal, tucked between their legs. You just grinned and patted his shoulder before turning away. “Find me when she’s hungry,” you called over your shoulder as you returned to the small kitchen where you had set up shop for the day. 

You heard Simon grunt in reply and you chuckled softly as you got back to work.

Some time later, you stood and stretched. Your bladder was never the same after carrying Audrey and screamed at you more often to take breaks. John and the rest of the pack weren’t back yet because nobody (Soap or Gaz) had interrupted your work. It seemed physically impossible for the two younger males in the pack to not come greet you right away whenever they returned from a mission or training. And then, if you were working, they would not leave you alone until you agreed to join them for a movie in the pack room. Or unless John stepped in and gave them that look that made them get in line.

As you walked through the pack room, you looked over at the LoveSac and paused. Simon had fallen asleep with Audrey on his chest. Quickly and quietly, you pulled out your phone and snapped a picture. It really was too sweet a sight to not capture. Although you would only be sharing this image with your mate and with Simon himself. You were viciously protective of Simon’s bonding moments with Audrey. There would be no teasing from the other two members of your pack. You worried sometimes that Simon would pull back from Audrey and the rest of the pack if he were teased about his softer side that you rarely got to see like this. 

A low grumble caught your attention and you turned your gaze from your phone back to the pair in front of you. Simon was staring at you through half-lidded eyes. You smiled when he lifted a hand and gestured you closer. 

Kneeling next to the couch, you held your phone so the big man could see the moment you captured. “I couldn’t resist. The two of you look so cute like this,” you murmured softly. “I’m definitely adding this one to her book.” You and John had started a photo album for Audrey after you had returned with the news of your pregnancy. John was insistent on it, actually. He had gone out and bought the biggest album he could find and spent so much time decorating and personalizing it. 

Simon huffed and shook his head. “You don’t want me in that book.”

You frowned at his self-deprecating tone. “Simon Riley, you stop that right now. You are more than worthy to be in Audrey’s book. You’re her favorite uncle and it wouldn’t be fair to her to keep you out. Johnny and Kyle both have a section in the album, right after yours.” You reached out and gently ran your fingers through his hair, politely ignoring the way his eyes were starting to water. “Now, if you’re uncomfortable with your bare face being shown in the photos, that’s one thing.”

Simon let out a choked growl and moved one hand from Audrey’s back to cover his face. You didn’t say anything, just continued combing your fingers through his hair and watching your daughter sleep on his chest. 

“Thank you,” Ghost’s voice was so low, you almost missed his words. You just smiled at him and leaned your head against his shoulder. 

“You’re a member of this pack, Simon. And we love you. Don’t ever doubt that,” you whispered. Your eyes closed as you just basked in the presence of your pack member and your daughter.

You woke up in a very different position than you last remember being in. You were now on the couch with Audrey on top of you and a shifted Simon curled around the both of you. His large head rested on your torso next to a still sleeping Audrey. You smiled and carefully scratched behind his ears. You felt his body vibrate with a purr of contentment at the action. His head felt heavier as he somehow went even more limp than he already had been. You laughed but didn’t stop scratching his head. Eventually, you were pulled back to sleep thanks to Simon’s purring and warmth.

[analogskullerosis]

I think what I loved about "Tomb Patrol" more than anything is how Rita, Larry, Jane, and Cliff escaped the fate of the old Doom Patrol seen back in Season 1. They beat Mr. Nobody and kept their sanity intact. They also learned the truth of what Niles Caulder did to them and instead of becoming worthless and placed into a make believe retirement home, they survived and lived to eat his head and outlive the guy who was so obsessed with immortality and living one day longer than his daughter.

The old Doom Patrol seen in season one were just as aged as the one seen in "Tomb Patrol," only that team is utterly broken and can't even enjoy the time they have left if they wanted to. I wonder if Rita thought of the state of Mento and the others when she reached her geriatric state and started breaking down.

The biggest reason Rita wanted everybody to come to dinner is because Cliff, Larry, and Jane are quite literally her only family. They're all she has. Every person related to her is either dead or wouldn't believe that she's still alive, given she's a film star from the fifties. The most important part of the episode was Rita finally voicing that the Doom Patrol are all she has. They're her family and that one line suddenly makes her wanting to be the team leader and why it was so important to her all clear. She wanted to work to keep her family together after the death of Niles Caulder.

The moment with the four geriatric Doom Patrol members sitting in the living room, reminiscing about their adventures was the sweetest scene of the entire season. They forgot all about their problems and impending doom for just a few moments and simply enjoyed each others' company. They didn't become angry or confused or sad or broken like the Doom Patrol before them. They sat in the living room and shared a loving moment like a real family. Even when Rita collapsed, the other three agreed to go to the play for her sake. I loved Cliff's line when they make the decision to go: "We have to. It's Rita." For all of their dysfunction, once they saw that she was in real trouble, her fellow Doomies rushed to her aide and said, "Let's whoop some ass. For her." Those moments are what make a dysfunctional family worth rooting for. That no matter how much they may bicker and fight and disagree, they always find their way back to each other and look after each other when shit gets serious.

This version of the Doom Patrol is the best example of the team being a found family since Rachel Pollack's run back in the 90s. They've been through hell and back, but they can still sit in a living room and laugh about it. They were ready to face death together with love and laughter about eating Niles Caulder's head. Rita tells Mento before she leaves: "All I know is… I don't want to end up like you. Or Arani, or Rhea." This episode confirmed that she didn't end up like them. None of them did. If Rita Farr is truly dead, then she died surrounded by the people who loved her most who rushed to her body to help her without a second thought. At the end of the day, this show is about a bunch of freaks who love each other and that love has overcome the strangest and most bizarre forms of hell imaginable.

The Doom Patrol is marching towards death in the same way that the show is marching towards death with only two episodes left to go. No matter how it all ends, this show will always be special to me.

[goodluckclove]

migration patterns - scott/edgar intimacy: sad child edition

i'm sad so here's a scene i've been thinking about for a week and finally got to write. enjoy. it's a major rough draft so excuse any pronoun fuckups or name inconsistencies.

“Can I tell you something else I want to do?” Edgar asked him, still uncertain – but markedly less so.

Anything. I love you. Talk to me forever. I will do anything you ask of me. You are so safe and good I will shift the orbit of the earth if it would ensure your security. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Scott nodded, without a word. Edgar hummed happily and leaned down again, pressing his chest against Scott’s as he whispered

“I had a funny dream last night, Lark.”

Scott turned in their bed with the covers drawn up to their chin. From beside him on the mattress, Eddie’s wavering golden form sparkled serenely like sunlight over the ocean. He was smiling one of his smiles that were sweet, yet weighed down heavily by weariness and anxiety. Eddie always seemed to smile like new mothers smiled, or older witches who tried to mask how much pain they were in.

“I like dreams,” Scott told his dearest companion. “Sometimes I have dreams that I’m not even in. It’s weird – isn’t that weird?”

Eddie nodded knowingly. He was very smart. Still, he seemed nervous. “It was funny,” he continued, “because you were there. Like – really there. With me.”

Scott grinned and felt warmth seep into their chest. What a wonderful dream that must’ve been!

“It was also funny, because…” Eddie darted his eyes away from Scott and pressed his lips into a straight, hesitant line. “Because in my dream, I kissed you.”

He paused and twisted his face in a cringe. Scott didn’t understand the reaction. Maybe it was from something he was seeing or feeling in his part of the world. Still, the same thought echoed in their heart: what a wonderful dream that must’ve been!

“That sounds nice,” Scott said, their smile softening.

Eddie looked like he wanted to say something, but then he didn’t. He looked up at Scott and teetered on the edge of a frown. “Boys aren’t supposed to kiss boys,” he said.

This was new information to Scott.

“I’m not a boy,” Scott told him.

“But you said you might be in the future.”

“Yeah, but I might not be. I haven’t figured it out yet. I might be a girl, or I might be – something else,” they widened their eyes slightly as they remembered what he confessed to them a few months before. “You said you might be something else too, right?”

Even though their friend was only visible in slightly differing shades of gold, Scott was now able to recognize the glimmer of amber that appeared whenever Eddie blushed. “Uh-huh,” he murmured into his hands. “I think so.”

Scott tried not to look too victorious. “Right! So it’s different. And even if it wasn’t, I think whoever told you that was confused. Boys kiss boys all the time.”

“Sure, but you aren’t supposed to.”

“Why not?”

Eddie didn’t answer. He looked confused. He looked like how Scott felt whenever he watched most of Tenzin’s favorite movies. Eventually he sat up and just stared ahead at something Scott was unable to see.

“You can kiss whoever you want if you really love them,” Scott sat up too, thinking. “Sometimes people do it to people they don’t love. Like in movies! Except I think even then the good ones at least like each other.”

“It’s different for me,” Eddie said, suddenly very serious.

He did that sometimes. He was like a little boat bobbing along, very sweet and light – only occasionally some stronger, menacing force would rise up from the depths and drag him under for a few moments of immense despair.

“Nobody loves me like that,” he said to the empty space ahead of him. “That’s probably the funniest part of all.”

Scott took a moment to remember the speed at which they were directed to blink. The way Eddie said that, the certainty in his voice, made Scott’s stomach churn and ache. Still, they tried to smile.

“I do, Eddie,” they told him.

Eddie looked across at them. There was no specific expression on his face. Scott found that one of the most impressive parts of his faraway friend.

Finally, he furrowed his brow. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“Because I might be a boy?”

“Because you don’t know me.”

Scott fidgeted his hands very gently, mostly to have something to do. “I know you’re nice. You’re really smart. I feel happy when I talk to you,” he cast Eddie a smile, “I could probably lie in bed and just look at you and never go to sleep again, so I figured it would make the most sense to love you.”

The amber returned to Eddie’s cheeks. If a moth landed in the luminescent mist that made up his body it would be frozen in time for eons and eons.

“I didn’t know that’s what it meant,” Eddie said, a little vaguely. “You know, to love somebody like that.”

“I think it could be. I think it can mean all kinds of things!”

Eddie shifted his body, and Scott mimicked the motion until they were sitting face to face. “Do you think..?” Eddie chewed on his bottom lip, eyes grazing the ceiling. “Do you think that, if you look forward to seeing a person. And you think about – that person – even when you aren’t talking to them. And you wish that you could be around them whenever you wanted,” he paused to draw in a much-needed breath. “Do you think that means you love them?”

Now it was Scott’s turn to feel their face grow hot. “Um,” they said. “I think if you want it to be.”

“What if I do? What if I really, really do?”

“Then I think it is,” Scott murmured with a smile.

The two of them stared at each other for a short while of silence. Only there was something in the silence, a soft buzz of excitement and a sparkle of confusion.

“You know,” Scott said, trying for the first time in their life to be casual, “if you want, you could try doing what you did in your dream.”

It was always when Eddie widened his eyes that Scott was reminded that his friend was a birthright too. A wave of motion passed through his body – not so much a recoil as a sudden swell of life.

“You don’t –” Eddie grinned, mostly out of panic. “I can’t even touch you.”

“We haven’t tried,” Scott reminded him. “Not really.”

Scott was staring down at the wrinkles of the quilt serving as their bedspread. Their mind went someplace wistful, someplace sad and dusty. It would’ve stayed there too if not for this sudden pinprick of comfort and contentment that pierced them on the cheek in a burst of sensation and rapidly filled their small body with light. They shot their head up just as Eddie quickly pulled back his hand.

“I’m sorry!” He said. “Did I hurt you?”

The light of Eddie’s body felt like his touch. Scott’s mind felt a little dreamy and he felt like the heat in his face might now actually have a real, tangible glow.

“No,” Scott said. “It felt. I – I felt it, and it...was really nice.”

Eddie smiled. He looked proud. Then he wasn’t, and then he no longer smiled. His eyes lost focus slightly and he just stared, frozen in place.

Now it was Scott’s turn for movement. They leaned forward slightly and reached out a hand, moving carefully to brush against the glow of his companion’s form without diving straight into it. Immediately there was a reaction. Eddie’s face twisted and his eyes clenched shut. It was a response so close to pain that Scott moved away and waited, suddenly afraid for the both of them.

Eventually, Edgar relaxed. After that, the slightest shape of a smile touched his lips. In some innate part of Scott’s very being they knew this was a good thing that was happening. Some instinct that was forged from materials foreign to Scott’s being told them to move forward. Asked them to touch their palm again to the outskirts of Eddie’s light. Begged Scott to press their face over the sad, golden boy's, right where their lips would touch if they were two physical bodies in the same room.

The feeling was like connecting two wires and lighting up an an entire house – no, a whole city. Scott wanted to stay in it forever. They wanted to surround themselves in the amber glow until any concept of any darkness at all was nothing more than a silly, distant dream.

Eventually Scott pulled away. Eddie did not move this entire time, but when their vision adjusted to the dark of their bedroom again Scott saw he was smiling.

He was smiling, and he was weeping.

“What are you thinking about?” Scott asked.

Eddie swallowed hard and wiped his eyes. “I’m thinking...I-I’m thinking that you just gave me the best feeling I’ll ever have, and I have nothing to give you in return.”

Grief wracked Scott harder than someone of their age and size was fully capable of handling. Tears sprung to their eyes, but for some reason they found themselves starting to laugh.

“Eddie,” they said, struggling to keep their voice calm, “you give me everything in the world every time I see your face.”

“Everything?” Eddie wiped his eyes with the ball of his hands. “What do you mean?”

“Feelings. Thoughts. The moon. Every bird. Warm stew –”

“I love you,” Eddie paused, blushing again, but broke out in another weepy smile. “I-I would really like to be in love with you please, if you don’t mind.”

Scott took what felt like the very first breath anyone had ever taken before. “I would like that very much,” they spoke happily.

They exchanged a mutual grin and another deeply-felt silence. This time, though, what broke it was Eddie touching his ethereal hand to Scott’s. The golden glow fully bathed over the entirety of Scott’s hand, rushing into their bloodstream and staining every inch of them with dusk.

“Do you think we could do that again?” Eddie whispered to them. “Maybe...I start this time?”

Scott met his eyes. Their mind felt fully lucid yet fully eased with calm. They nodded.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s4 ep5: Revulsion

This one is quite the hodge-podge of totally disjointed stories. There's a horror story about a murdery hologram, an awkward comedy about Harry getting a crush on Seven, and little subplots about the Doctor wanting to go on more away missions, Tom having to fill in in sickbay, and Tom and B'Elanna deciding to get serious with their relationship. It's a lot, and tonally, none of them really fit together well.

From the first shot of the teaser, which is of a dead body being dragged across a ship by a hologram who's clearly just murdered the guy, it doesn't set a good tone. While it takes our crew the rest of the episode to figure out that the hologram who supposedly lost his crew to disease and requests their help is actually a psycho who murdered them all, the audience knows it from the beginning, which makes the whole episode feel slow, and makes the characters look kinda stupid for not being able to see it right away too. Especially since the actor who plays the hologram is so creepy and unpleasant to watch, and all the scenes on his ship are shot like a horror movie, with him looming ominously behind people in the shadows, while ominous music plays, it just feels way too obvious and heavy handed. (And I never like to see my girl B'Elanna getting put through crap- everyone needs to leave her alone, she puts up with so much!!) Knowing the whole episode that this creepy hologram is going to try to kill her at some point just feels so schlocky exploitation film-ish, it's not fun or interesting to watch in any capacity. I also don't buy that a hologram that's meant to do menial ship maintenance would have a sophistocated enough program that it could pass through some matter, and not others, at the same time, at will. That was just too convenient to be realistic given what we've already established about holographic technology. But luckily B'Elanna is such a badass that even with her injuries, she still managed to destruct his program like a boss. Queen shit, as always. I love her so much!!

And then there's poor Harry, who gets basically a teenage crush storyline over Seven of Nine. It's supposed to be funny, but mostly it's just a heap of secondhand embarrassment. Idk why they have Harry acting like a dumb kid whenever they try to give him a romantic subplot now- he's in his mid-twenties, he's not a kid, and he used to have a hot girlfriend back home, who he used to go to concerts with in his slutty mesh top, which nobody who was shy and awkward would ever wear. He couldn't be that clueless and inept about dating. (Also, I guess he finally gave up on Libby for good at this point! Sorry girl, you're no match for the hottest lady of all- the USS Voyager!) The worst part is that Harry and Seven are actually kind of cute together, and it would have been nice to see them form a normal friendship, but that possibilty was stifled by giving him the stupid crush plot. Tom at least tries to talk him out of going for a romance with someone who's only been human for basically a few weeks, but Harry doesn't listen, and it just gets more awkward. Ugh. why.

Why on earth they expect us to believe that Tom is the most qualified person to fill in as a medic, I have no idea- there's gotta be some science officer who has more medical training than a pilot, but at least they were giving one of the regular characters more screentime, I guess. And I do love to see Tom taking care of people, it's a nice counter to the weird mean version of him from Day of Honor that I still need brain bleach to recover from. (Why would they do that to my sunshine boy??)

One of my favorite scenes in the episode is Tuvok's absolutely lovely and sweet banquet celebrating his promotion. I love when the crew have sit down meals together, it's always the most heartwarming, adorable stuff. Tom and Harry telling a story about a time they pranked him, Janeway presenting him with his pip, and Tuvok's thank you speech are just so perfectly lovely. Everyone is so happy and having so much fun, including Tuvok, and I love to see it. Whenever I see gifs or screenshots of this scene, it's always of Tuvok saying 'in three years I've grown to respect many of you, others, I've learned to tolerate' like he's being bitchy or throwing shade, but in context, he's actually being affectionate- there's a lightness in his voice and a twinkle in his eye, and Tom and Harry smile at him when he says it. This is Tuvok being happy, and expressing his love for his crewmates with his dry Vulcan humor. It's so good!!! Tim Russ does so much with so little- he always manages to convey the full range of Tuvok's thoughts and feelings in the extremely narrow confines of acceptable Vulcan behavior. With the subtlest of intonations and expressions, he shows us his whole personality and his whole heart, it's really exceptional acting. Tuvok has been and will always be my favorite Vulcan character in Star Trek.

Tom and B'Elanna get a small scene at the end of the banquet, where we finally get to see them talk about what happened in Day of Honor. Once again, Tom is the one to break the silence after three days and say they have to talk about it- they give each other a chance to wriggle out of the whole 'I love you' thing, but B'Elanna admits that she really did mean what she said. Tom responds by kissing her, which is adorable, but still missing the crucial words- all they had to do was tack an 'I love you too' on the end of that 'shut up and kiss me'- would that have been so hard??? Tom is always the one who wants to actually talk about stuff, he would not be reluctant to say it! Certainly not more than she was! What gives??? Idk, but they agree to meet up in her quarters at the end of the episode, so I guess we just get to infer that they talked about it later. (But judging from their earlier kiss, they probably just made out the whole time and never came up for air lol)

Tl;dr: The main plots in this one were both pretty poorly executed, but the little character moments sprinkled in were wonderful and made it worth watching.

[gwyns]

E/riel’s trying to make their ship about singing now is funny to me, especially because they like to call us Gleeriels. Elain & Azriel being carranam is a popular theory that they have come up with. Some even believe that it is canon even though we have no evidence of that. “I think it's because they are Carranam and their powers "sing" to each other” They have always seemed to have an innate understanding of what the other needed, their powers are complementary (he hears, she sees), their imagery is obviously complementary, it would explain all of the "mate behavior" I really felt like the Truth Teller scene felt like an "exchange of power" when he offered it to her with trust, she wielded it, and then offered it back. They also have similar scents to Rowaelin, and Elucien's bond hits just like Rowan/Lyria.”

Elain and Lucien are actually complementary: she sees things other don’t and his eye lets him see things that others don’t. I thought the whole point of their “forbidden romance” ship was to reject fate?? And now all these theories about a second mate, true mates, corrupted cauldron/cauldron bond, mother bond, carranam bond, and so and so on.

But on a serious note, music/singing is important to Gwyn and also to Azriel. I hope we get more of it from them.

it's amusing because back when acosf first released they were saying "this isn't glee!!!!!" when gwynriels would bring up how both gwyn and az sing. didn't they also include that as a point against gwynriel in their cute little power point, too? oh how the tides have turned

i truly don't understand their thinking with the carranam bond. it's been a hot second since i've read tog but isn't that just a bond where their powers compliment each other and allow them to share magic, if the need arises? what's so earth shattering about that? while, yes, you can be carranam and mates, it doesn't always equal a romantic match

also, in addition to their personalities not complimenting each other, their powers don't either, like at all. elain is a seer and az a spymaster. spying is a skill, not a power lol. one could argue his shadows are his power but that's wrong again! they're sentient beings, as shown in acosf. they're his companions, they choose to serve him. his powers have nothing to do with them

as far as we know, az just has the same killing magic that all illyrians do. tell me, how does that compliment a seer? meanwhile lucien's out here with his magical eyeball that allows him to see through glamours and his mate can see things in the past, present and future that no one else can but that means nothing? ok

yes her being able to see the past is a lil headcanon of mine and not at all confirmed ok shhhh

also elucien being rowan/lyria? LMFAOOOOOOO. this always makes me laugh... do they forget that maeve had a damn good reason to try and keep rowan and aelin apart? who wants to keep elucien apart besides e/riels? nobody cares about their bond to that extent. there's no gain for someone if elain and lucien don't accept the bond

here's the thing about e/riels... i've said it before, and i'll continue saying it, they're massive hypocrites

e/riel was supposed to be about choice beyond the bond and showing how ultimately, the highest form of intimacy within the acotar world doesn't actually mean that much, but now? e/riel are secret true mates because they know that's what sjm loves most

just like they mocked the singing thing until it finally got through their thick skulls that sjm had az reveal this personal detail about himself for a reason

they keep moving the goal posts and get mad when we point it out. but hey, at least it's free entertainment for me!

[beevean]

So!

Those first 3 episodes

What can I say?

The plot was written

The backstories were told

The characters were characterized

The social issues were commentated on

The pacing was....paced

100/10, best show ever

On a more serious note I'm genuinely impressed that they managed to make these 3 episodes feel even more rushed to fuck than Season 1, which in its 4 episodes was able to at least establish each of the main characters and the main villain, their respective motivations and you know was mostly just a testing season made to see if there was public interest plus it was made using the scraps of a cancelled movie from 10 years earlier

This shit right here is awful. Genuinely awful, just the most stereotypically fanficy writing I can think of, the pacing goes by so quickly it feels like they're speedrunning the whole thing and there's no way to properly establish each character without it feeling like a 5 minute digression at best and then on with the fight scenes!

And the social commentary is as subtle as a jack hammer of course, i'm treally curious to see if they'll explain how a vampire elite can control society from the shadows so fully when they souldn't even be able to make public appearences during the day. Are you really telling me the citizen of France are so dense they never thought to set the royal palace ablaze during the morning?

Oh and then there's Maria

Called it about her

I have a honest-to-god headache.

Where do I begin?

Well... Richter is fine, so far, although he didn't do much. He's pretty laidback without being too vulgar. That's honestly how I'd imagine the real Richter to be. I wish they advertised those moments instead of showing him crying. I have to wonder, though, why did he use to be a prominent ice magic user of all things. Are they going to say that he inherited Juste's magic? (also where is the morning star?)

But then... big oof.

The pacing is shit. That was painful to go through. These three episodes were full of flashbacks and fight scenes: the latter to shoehorn tragic backstories instead of organically weaving them in the story, and the latter to pad out time, because they were just "oh there are monsters now! Go smash them!"

also I didn't see a single enemy from the games. We're back to S1's generic monsters. Nice.

Also, what's with those backstories? Richter has a Dead Mom, Annette has a Dead Mom + Slavery, Tera is Russian has a Dead Sister... really? That's the best you can do? It's so fucking cheap!

And the show really deadass killed Edouard, a nobody just introduced, in the second episode, and then expected me to feel bad about him because Annette, another nobody, misses him and cries with the most narmtastic voice acting so far. This is literally the same thing they did with Cho, except at least we weren't meant to feel sorry for her.

Maria is insufferable. She's the rudest and crassest of them all, can't talk about anything that isn't "liberty, equality, fraternity" and she's terrible to Richter - why is NFCV's idea of friendship insulting each other? We don't even know how they know each other! At least NFCV showed us how the gang was formed!

(Annette is too bland as of now, but justifying her metalbending with "she descends from gods" is... something)

Can we talk about that worldbuilding? There are still Devil Forgemasters? Who are they? Did Hector and/or Isaac have descendants (good god i do not want to imagine n!isaac impregnating a woman), or it's yet another person, diminishing the uniqueness of the art? And they're using machines to turn humans into Night Creatures? MACHINES??????? What the fuck is this, Sonic SatAM??????

(also bullshit that Night Creatures are only made, not born. Hector said, and I'm quoting from S2E3, "Before the war, night creatures were simply a species in hiding. They either reproduced naturally or were created by acts of wild magic." bro c'mon I'm not even a fan and I remember your worldbuilding, why can't you guys)

But also. Man they didn't even try to be subtle with these vampires. They are the entire French elite, they are the "white slave owners". Wow, deep commentary right there. And tell me, how can they go out in the open and show themselves to humans like that? How can they walk in the sunlight, like Drolta is seen to be doing? I know the original show had vampire lords like Carmilla and Cho, but they're really saying "yep, all the evil nobility is made of vampires" now, and everyone is aware of it.

And fucking Drolta. What the fuck are those shoes. They look like horse hooves. Isaac was neutered to keep her stupid hair and boobs, and also Olrox sitting on the-guy-who-looks-like-agent-stone-from-the-sonic-movies' chest. Okay. I'm normal about it.

and speaking of sonic references, edouard singing at the bird's funeral is peak NANANANANANANANANAAAAA energy.

Don't know what else to add. It was extremely boring and rushed and while we're not hitting the peak of offensiveness of the original show, this is still so, so bad from a writing standpoint.

And, as expected, the only thing that connects it to CV is that Richter has a whip. The story so far looks like a shitty period drama fusing the French Revolution and that good ol' american slavery story. They haven't learned a thing.

How in the hell are they going to butcher SoTN...?

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 Cleat Cute Book Review 🦇

❝ Calling Phoebe loud and obnoxious and gay ignores all her layers and contradictions. That's Grace's issue with fame—people take you at face value. Nobody bothers to look for the person beneath the brand. ❞

❓ #QOTD What's your favorite sport (to watch or play)? ❓ 🦇 Phoebe Matthews is ready to take her first season as a professional soccer player by storm. She even gets to play alongside her idol, Grace Henderson; the veteran star of the US Women's National Team. Since they met, there's been a spark of chemistry between them, and Phoebe can't help but flirt with and seduce the woman she's had a poster of since childhood. Though they're on the same page on the pitch, a little miscommunication outside of the game leaves them both mentally spiraling. Are they brave enough to make a move both on and off the field?

[ Find my full review below or on: Insta | Goodreads | Storygraph ]

💜 The few factors that drove me to finish reading this book were the focus on fame, personal identity, and neurodiversity; NOT the relationship between Grace and Phoebe. The story touches on Grace's preference not to reveal too much about who she is outside of soccer, in an effort to protect her privacy, until soccer becomes her entire identity; both to the outside world, and herself. From the beginning, it's also obvious that both MCs are neurodivergent. Phoebe is diagnosed with ADHD by the epilogue, and though Grace isn't diagnosed with autism, it's mentioned as a possibility. Though their neurodiversity is obvious from the first two chapters, the topic isn't discussed in any way that MATTERS to the story. There's so much going on under the surface of these characters that would have made the story BEAUTIFULLY important if they were the focus, rather than a subtle plot point that's slipped into the end of the book.

🦇 I almost DNF this book many, many times; it takes a one-star read for me to give up on a book, rather than give it the benefit of the doubt. Though I did finish it, I dragged my feet every step of the way. The most obvious issue with this novel is the POV. A third-person objective point of view is cold and distant. It leaves readers disconnected from the characters and the story. Though it's not confirmed by the end of the story, it's possible Grace has autism, in which case, this POV makes sense for her. For Phoebe, however—passionate, energetic, a thousand thoughts a second Phoebe—we're cut off from what she's really feeling. Beyond that, this POV is choppy, ESPECIALLY for a story that primarily involves women. Unfortunately, the objective POV means the entire story is TELL; we're not shown through actions or imagery or any form of creative writing. The tension between them doesn't last long enough to keep readers enthralled, either; once the smut is introduced, that's apparently all that matters.

⚽ Every other sentence starts with a name to avoid referring to too many "she's" within a single thought. The writing also lacks descriptive language, even though the story is set in vibrant New Orleans. For all the scenes focused on food, we never smell, taste, or experience a moment with the characters. Even during gameplay, there's no sweat, heat, or the sound of screaming fans in our ears. The readers are kept at arm's length at all times. Perhaps worse: the smut reads like fanfiction—a first-time writer's fanfiction. Instead of steamy, the word choice makes it awkward and offputting. "Baby girl?" Really?

🦇 Recommended for fans of workplace romances, Ted Lasso, or A League of Their Own. You're going to get serious "Ted Lasso but make it sapphic" vibes from this, I promise; Phoebe and Grace are very much Jamie and Roy. If you're in your sporty romance era, give this a try!

✨ The Vibes ✨ ⚽ WLW Romance ⚽ Neurodiversity / ADHD and Autism Rep ⚽ Sports Romance ⚽ Secret Dating ⚽ Workplace Romance ⚽ Miscommunication ⚽ Grumpy vs Sunshine

🦇 Major thanks to the author and publisher for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book. #CleatCute #NetGalley #MerylWilsner

[snwusberry]

#20: i dare you to go home

WARNING(S): language i think...

NOTE: these are just characters and do not depict the actual people therefore the behavior of said characters won't be accurate to the actual people.

PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT

[ GIANA POV ]

my smile drops the moment i see the scene that's unfolding in front of my very eyes and like, i was having a good day but look now.

there stands the bitch of the hour looking a little too comfortable and at peace for someone who's literally ruining my evening.

first of all, what is she doing here? literally nobody here likes her and you know, me personally, i wouldn't wanna be surrounded by people being fake nice to me but that's just me.

second, why on this beautiful green earth is she hanging off my boyfriend like that? she's practically sitting right on top of him and he looks like he would rather be anywhere. she's gripping on like a leech.

it's actually not that bad she's just sitting too close for comfort and he's trying to scoot away as far as possible but anyway.

she makes brief eye contact with me with a smug look on her face and i roll my eyes and walk away, refusing to give the situation any type of attention. she really thinks she's doing something but let's be real.

i try to head out the door when i feel a gentle hold on my shoulder. i know it's taehyun from the smell of the body mist i bought for him in the air.

"gigi."

okay here's the thing. i am GONE for this man so something as little as him saying my name or even my nickname has me weak in the knees.

i'm warning you now, being down bad for someone isn't the way to go.

i turn around to face him and am greeted with an unreadable expression. i hate the times where i can't tell what he could be thinking, it stresses me out because i don't know what to expect.

"come with me?" he asks, raising his eyebrows in question.

i just sigh and nod my head and he takes my hand in his. he takes me to a secluded area of the house which doesn't help the millions of thoughts running through my head right now.

i just sigh and nod my head and he takes my hand in his. he takes me to a secluded area of the house which doesn't help the millions of thoughts running through my head right now.

"what's up?" i ask him, tilting my head and i see him try to conceal a smile which eases my mind.

"were you about to leave?" he questions.

there's no way he brought me all the way here with the most serious look on his face, zero words spoken, to ask if i was about to leave?

i just nod, not feeling like saying anything.

"baby, please ignore her. she wants a reaction from you and that's exactly what you're giving her by leaving."

i hate that he's right but sometimes i just wanna be childish and avoid the issue.

"we've barely been here 10 minutes and she's already hanging off you despite your discomfort." i mumble in a pout, eyes trained on the floor.

i feel him take both of my hands in his and i look at him again. there's an unmistakable twinkle in his eyes that i find extremely charming.

"giana, who's boyfriend am i?"

i look back at the ground, not saying anything, just staring at the tiled floor.

taehyun brings his hand to my cheek, making me look at him as his eyes search for mine.

"gia, i asked you a question. who's boyfriend am i?"

"mine." i respond lowly and a smile creeps on his face.

"exactly. i'm your boyfriend. my attention is always on you, doesn't matter who's around me, it's always you i think about. it's always you my eyes search for. you're the one i love. no one else."

i freeze, my eyes widening at his words and tears start to form in my eyes.

"you said-"

"i love you giana." i look away, feeling a bit overwhelmed and shocked about all of this but happiness slowly creeps up. "you don't have to say it back if you don't feel the same way." he interrupts my thoughts before i can even think them.

he said that when he told me he liked me a year back. he's always been patient and never pressured me into anything. it's something i find incredibly attractive about him.

"i like you giana. you don't have to say it back if that's not how you feel. i just needed to tell you because it's something that's been weighing heavy on me and i thought i'd let you know-"

"i like you too taehyun."

"don't say that because you feel bad. i really don't mind."

"no i love you too. i mean it." i tell him with a wide smile speak across my face.he pulls me in for a kiss and i melt in his embrace so seamlessly.

  [ NINGNING POV ]

where is this bitch? she said an hour and guess what? an hour has already fucking passed.

"oh ningning, i've been looking for you. we're going to play truth or dare, let's go." kai exclaims as he approaches me and i shake my head.

"no i'm looking for gi-"

"great, let's go."

he pulls me with him, not even letting me finish my sentence properly.

"she said she's joining."

everyone is scattered around the living room, some people on the couch and others on the floor.

i train my eyes on one particular person who's sitting comfortably on the sofa next to taehyun, with her legs on his lap. she mouths a quick sorry and i roll my eyes, sitting down anyway.

"kai truth or dare?" beomgyu starts and he chooses dare. of course he did. "imitate everyone in the room."

now here's the thing, you never know how you act until you see someone else imitating you and im not ready for that.

more dares are passed around, truths are being told. i'm not listening or paying attention until karina calls my name.

"ningning, truth or dare?" she asks and i nearly panic.

"she chooses dare." soobin intergects from the other side of the room, with his arm around chaeryeong's shoulders and i glare at him.

"he's not even playing." i try protesting to no avail.

peer pressure guys.

"truth." why would i say that? i'd be better off doing a ridiculous dare.

"alright. what have you been hiding from jake?" she asks straightforwardly and my eyes widen.

what is she doing?

"dare." i quickly try to change to avoid the topic but that just further fuels everyone's curiosity, not diffusing the situation at all.

i should've just oied and said there's nothing i'm hiding. why would she put me on the spot like that?

"i dare you to tell jake what you're hiding from him. maybe somewhere more private."

"i'm not hiding anything."

i'm immediately hiked up by someone who happens to be jay and i wanna squirm out of his hold. i look to my right and see jake in a similar position, yeonjun carrying him to wherever.

they take us to a room and shut the door, i hear the lock shift and i panic.

"guys this isn't funny." i bang on the door to no avail.

"ningning." i hear jake call my name and i immediately want the ground to consume me. "what was giana talking about?"

"nothing important. you know she likes to dramatize everything." i tell him, not daring to make any eye contact.

"seeing that it needed to be said in private, i don't think it's nothing."

i shut my eyes and try not to freak out.

"well now that we're here i might as well tell you." he nervously scratches his head.

"tell me what?"

"that i like you."

my heart starts beating so hard in ky chest, it feels like it's gonna leap out.

"you like me?"

he nods and i fight the urge to smile.

"well you told me, i guess i should tell you too." i pause, taking a breath, my hands shaking a bit. "i like you too for a while now. i just never knew how to tell you." i tell him honestly.

"i didn't either. i was scared." i smile at him.

"wanna go out sometime?" i ask him and he smiles back at me.

"i'd love to."

"let's get out of here."

he nods and we walk to the door.

"guys, can you let us out now?" jake asks, reaching to open the door which is surprisingly not locked because giana, karina and yeonjun stumble in.

"how did i get he- oh fuck it." giana walks back to the living room with the other two following suit.

jake offers me his hand which i gladly take. we walk hand-in-hand to the crowded living room,hearing "ooohhh's" as we approach. i never thought id be here

"i see my plan worked." giana says and heeseung sticks his tongue out at her.

"let's resume the game?" sunghoon asks, enthusiastically.

"sure. can i go?" taehyun asks and they give him the go ahead. "aria."

her head snaps to him as he says her name. he smiles at her making her immediately blush and i see giana roll her eyes.

"me? uhh dare."

"i. dare you to go home."

[taletheoldcrowtold]

Pride - 2024: Day 1

Movie: Pride

Made: 2014 – Set in: 1984-1985

Starring: George MacKay, Ben Schnetzer, Bill Nighy, Andrew Scott, Dominic West, Imelda Staunton, Jessica Gunning, Paddy Considine, Faye Marsay

Rated R for: Language, brief sexual content (But no sex scenes)

Plot:

A dramedy based on a true story, it focuses on the UK miner strike of 1984-85. Gay activist Mark Ashton decides to gather others in the community to help striking miners and soon forms LGSM (Lesbian and Gays Support the Miners) to raise money for them. Met with some resistance by the miners union, they pick a town at random in South Wales to bypass the people ignoring them. Managing to get the most money out of all the miners's supporters, they are invited to the town where they meet and make new friends with the people of Onllwyn.

There are funny and feel-good moments while also showing the struggles of the LGBTQ+ community and the miners. This is one of the lighter and easier to watch flims of its genre, as it doesn't have a lot of violence in it. Having a few dark moments but very uplifting. It’s a film I always enjoy as it is easy to relate to at least one of the many great and colorful characters in it. And sometimes it’s good to have a laugh while also thinking about the struggles that the gay community went through and how they managed to push onward. I would suggest at least giving it a watch (and I don’t want to hear about how you can’t understand a Welsh accent, they sound very lovely and easy to follow)

Spoilers under the Keep Reading Line

Nobody dies during the movie, although one character is beaten up off-screen. At the end of the movie, it tells what has happened to some of the main characters since 1985 and one did die of HIV. But since it is a true story, it is forgivable as it really happened.

This is one of my favorite movies because it is a right mix of light-hearted banter, feel good moments and serious issues as it shows not only prejudice but people united. Showing both acceptance (Some of the miners accepting them without much thought of them being gay, Cliff being accepted by Hefina when he came out – she already knew but he didn’t know she knew) and the rejection and prejudice (The other miners not wishing to be helped by gays, Joe’s mother trying to keep him from his friends when she discovers he’s gay and the gay book shop being vandalized) It’s a funny film that showcases that if we all just work together and didn’t judge people we’d be a lot happier. I’m glad to see no one died in it and one of the people in the movie, Jonathan Blake, is still alive in 2024 despite having AIDs for several years. Which I thought was pretty cool. I don’t know how accurate the movie is to true events, but I imagine they changed some things for drama’s sake. However, it is still a good movie and might just ignite an interest in looking up what really happened. It has several likable and relatable characters and I always enjoy watching the movie because of them. Though it feels a little funny picking favorite characters when they are based on real people, there are a few I like more than others. It’s also a political movie, as the miners suffer due to Margret Thatcher (not sure who didn’t suffer due to her, honestly) but it doesn’t make you feel like you have to be from the UK to know what’s going on.

Mom's Thoughts: What I liked about this movie—the LGBT+ characters weren’t stereotyped and varied from person to person, just like you would find in the real world. There also is some humor and teasing among the characters, and proves that we are not that much different from each other. The ending which takes place at the Lesbian and Gay Pride March of 1985 always makes me emotional as I watch all the buses full of miners from the mine workers union in support of gay rights arrive to join the march. This is a movie I would watch with my family and friends. Well, certain family and friends.

[scarlet-spider7]

Spider-Man into the Spiderverse is the Most Unique Film Ever

The Most Uniqe Super Hero Movie 

By: scarlet-Spider7 

Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse was released in the US on December 14th, 2018, and people were not ready for how damn good this movie was. The animation he voice acting, the story, the music, oh god the music, this movie pushed boundaries, and created a movie that gets an A+ in every category a movie can get! It has virtually no flaws, and in practice it has no flaws either! Its 116 minutes (about 2 hours) of your life you don’t want back, hell you want to dedicate more of your life to it. If there is a scene in this movie where you're not cuming your little pants, you're not watching Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse. And therefore, it might be the most fantastic movie to ever grace Hollywood. 

Cast Appreciation: 

First, we must discuss the cast. There is Shamiek Moore playing Miles, he does an excellent job and this movie is a good fit for him due to his connection to music. There is also Jake Johnson is also a fantastic pick for his role as Peter B. Parker, due to his comedic roots, but also his ability to be serious. And as Gwen, we have Hailee freaking Steinfeld! She’s a fantastic pick here due to her fantastic acting skills but also her ties with pop culture. And for Spider-Ham we have John FUCKING Mulaney, a perfect role for the comedian, but that’s not all! For Peni Parker we have Kimiko Glenn an extremely versatile voice actor who used her skills to play such a fun part. And Nicholas Cage for gods' sakes is playing Spider-Man Noir, holy shit! Chris Pine as Peter Parker, Kathryn Hahn as Doc Ock, Mahershala Ali as Uncle Aron, and Oscar Isaac as Spider-Man 2099! As well as this the composers and singers and such for the movie create some of the best music for a movie period. So, I'll link them before we go on, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) - Soundtracks - IMDb 

Peter Parker is great.  

After many stories with him over the years we get to meet and grow as a person among Peter Parker. One of his best traits is the ability to learn from his mistakes and use them to become a morally stronger person. But Peter can only mess up so many times before you go “Oh god Pete, you did that stupid thing last week!” A way to avoid this is to make sure he doesn't make the same mistake twice, seems simple enough, but if Pete isn’t making mistakes, you’d have to fundamentally change how he is written as a character. I’m dubbing it the “Parker Problem” as I don’t believe I've seen it discussed anywhere else. This movie avoids the Parker Problem by scrapping Peter entirely, they even touch on the Parker problem in a way by showing a perfect Pete at the beginning of the film. So, who is this champion that steps up to “replace” Peter Parker, Miles Morales. Chances are if you're reading this, you know who he is, but do you know who he is? 

Who the hell is Miles Morales? 

In short Miles is just a kid from Brooklyn. He loves music and art, and is just trying his best to fit in. Peter’s struggles are internal, he has to balance making the right decision, with his own greed and ego, but what he wants more than anything is to help his loved ones. Same goes for Miles, but Miles’ decisions are made from fear, rather than greed or ego. And of course, he wants to help the people he loves. With such a simple change in the way Miles is written, we get to tell classic Spider-Man stories form a whole different angle with all new stakes. What I left out, that is perhaps most important, is Miles wants to fit in. Miles attends Brooklyn Visions Academy, where he is wildly out of his element, he doesn't fit in here like he did at his old school, he feels like nobody understands him.  

The Other Spider-People. 

As showed, Miles and Peter are fundamentally the same, with some differences. This is the same for the rest of the Spider-People in this film, especially Gwen. If Peter deals with his ego and greed, and Miles juggles with his fears, then Gwen's weakness is that she shuts everyone out. Unlike most Spider-People, where when someone close to you dies you learn the right lesson, Gwen learned the wrong lesson, and in this film, she learns to open up. The same goes for Peni, Spider-Man Noir, and Spider-Ham. While we don’t get to see much of their character in the film it’s implied, they also have lost people like Miles, and that they are like Miles, and that they UNDERSTAND Miles. So, who did Miles lose? 

Aron Davis. 

In Miles quest to fit in, he is naturally gravitated towards his uncle, Aron. Aron is good guy at his heart, but he does all the wrong things, but Miles is too desperate to see that. Too desperate to fit in, too desperate to be like his uncle, to desperate to have a mentor. This is all clear to Miles once he realizes that his uncle, is the Prowler, the man who works for his enemy the man whose been trying to kill him. Miles's world is flipped upside down. He doesn't know who he wants to be anymore. Little does he know his father has been trying to be that figure in his life the whole time and little did he know having his father to look up to would be healthier. He and his father see each other's flaws as well as their strengths, creating a healthier dynamic. Aron is who Miles wants to be and his dad is who he needs to be. But also, by the end of the film, he learns fitting in is overrated, by realizing this, he also gets over his fears, he jumps off the tallest building he can find to prove to himself he can do it, he can be Spider-Man, even with his fears and his demons he can be Spider-Man, and in doing so he can learn to be himself.  

You Can Wear the Mask 

Anyone can! No matter what your demons are, no matter who you are, all you must know is that “With great power, there must also come great responsibility”  

[possessedartist]

breaking bad is so fucking funny to watch after you’ve seen the remix so many times- it’s like a game of waiting for one of the sampled lines to come out of nowhere and jumpscare the everliving shit out of you

[yandere-sins]

Past and Future

Horrortober Day 2: Decision  |  “It’s your decision. Choose wisely.”

Day 2 woop! Got a chance to work on my Kazuha a bit more. I hope to write for him more in the future!

Warnings: Yandere, Manipulation, Possessiveness, Stalking Mention Characters: Kadehara Kazuha x Reader

Kazuha couldn’t not notice the yearning in your gaze as you looked across the plaza at your old friends. These scumbags. Wannabe goody-two-shoes. Oh, how much he despised them. And yet, you longed for their laughter in your ears, the wrinkles in their eyes as they grinned and smiled at each other cheerfully. They were celebrating something Kazuha didn’t know about. But undoubtedly, you remembered after having been close to them since early childhood. 

And yet, you didn’t belong to their circle anymore. You hadn’t been invited to wine and laughter, food and celebration. Instead, you absentmindedly squeezed his hand tighter, and Kazuha took that as a sign. “Come on,” he mumbled, watching how sadness overcame you with every passing second. Frustration and anger, but mostly disappointment, snaked their way into your expression. You had been so excited for today, going out with him, exploring Liyue Harbor with your boyfriend, but the mood was ruined now. 

When you didn’t react, Kazuha used his free arm to lay it around you, pushing you forward despite your feet being unwilling to move. Part of you wanted to go to your friends, to join them in their festivity. But without being invited, you were way too hesitant to approach, and it hurt you even more. Your head hung low as you two finally disappeared in the crowd of people working and shopping, the night market making for a great scene. Still, you couldn’t take it in anymore after remembering your past heartbreak now.

Kazuha wasn’t the type to leave you alone, never wishing to be separated from the warmth and comfort you gave him by being by his side, but in your depressed state, it was hard to do anything with you. Placing you on a bench, Kazuha left to get you something to drink. His mind was wrecking itself of how to help you as he bought your favorite, seasonal beverage, still hot and steaming in its cup, and brought it back to you. 

Unfortunately, no one heard the clattering sound as he dropped it, watching you talk with some of your old friends. When did they come over to talk? Why were they here? How did they notice you? Why now of all times? This was his evening. His time with you. And yet, you hadn’t been as happy with him all night as you were when you talked to them. Kazuha’s expression changed from worried to upset as he had to watch you laugh with them, even though the mood seemed awkward from afar. Maybe they were apologizing, or perhaps just trying to replicate the good old times with you, but you seemed very receptive to their presence, smiling in a way that you never did when you were with Kazuha. 

It had taken a lot to break you guys apart. Not willingly, but they weren’t a good influence for you. He had never done anything to them, but one day they had decided they didn’t like the way he looked at you. That Kazuha was too ‘possessive’ and that the ‘took up all your time’. They told you to stay away from the outsider, to ignore the soft, wonderful feelings you two had for each other—the strong bond you were forming with your boyfriend. Your friends decided he wasn’t good for you but were they really your friends when they made you choose between them and your love? Gods, he hated what they did to you. Hated how miserable they could make you. You had been so nervous and anxious after they started harassing you to leave him, crying at night and into his shoulder when you didn’t know what to do. The first time you said you loved him was while you were assuring him that you still had feelings for him; that being the reason why it was so hard on you to be forced to make this decision. It wasn’t a romantic moment, but one filled with tears. Kazuha would never forgive them for robbing him of his amazing confession from your lips.

However, in the end? You chose him—naturally. You chose him for this very reason. Because you love him. Kazuha never made you decide. Sure, he didn’t like your friends, but he didn’t go out of his way to engage with them. He only ever had eyes for you, following you whenever you met with your so-called friends and making sure you’d be safe from them. However, he was better than them, and even if they made you cry on your way home, he never once went back to hurt them just as much as they hurt you, even if his blood was boiling. Kazuha would rather spend his time comforting you, asserting his place in your heart, than stick to the ones who were desperately trying to tear him out of said place. 

But maybe he should have.

Maybe he should have demanded that you decide on one side. After all, you were already distancing yourself from these people that kept hurting you in the name of ‘only wanting the best for you’. He was the best for you. There was nothing that could be better for you than Kazuha. He was strong; he was safe for you. No one else tended to you as gently and lovingly as he did. Comforted you when you were down. You had to wear the burden of everyone around you, but Kazuha only committed to you and your worries. He was the saving grace and the helping hand you needed in your desperation. The person your friends should have been if you had actually mattered to them. 

In return, you were the same for him. You gave his life a meaning that he had long searched for. A new friend and a love to wake his lonely heart again. No one could ever stir him like you did, and he was thankful. Thankful for the opportunity to be by your side, to warm you on cold nights, and to tell you about the past he never shared with anyone else. You were the listener he wanted; gave him the attention he needed. And Kazuha...

Kazuha wouldn’t lose you now. He couldn’t lose someone again. Not you.

Marching up to you and your friends gathering around, he listened to the meaningless conversation you had. “We’re sorry for saying such harsh things,” and “We were worried about you.” Loads of empty words, in his opinion. But seeing your eyes tear up at them made his heart sting and his blood boil all over again. It made him furious. Furious for you. You deserved so much better than these lies. They didn’t care about you!

Pushing through them without roughly, Kazuha only looked at you, finding your eyes instantly. You were surprised by his appearance but quickly wiped the tears from your eyes and returning to the silly, little smile you usually graced him with. One that was as empty as your friend’s words. One you adapted just to please him and not worry him further, but once he’d put an end to this, Kazuha knew you’d be able to smile at him properly again with a sincere one. 

“Choose,” he prompted, and you raised an eyebrow in confusion while your friends began to grow tense and murmur between themselves. 

“These people-” he made a vague gesture between the few gathered around, “-aren’t good for you, and you know it. They dropped you when you needed them the most while I’ve been with you all this time.”

“You can’t be serious,” you breathed, but Kazuha didn’t confirm your wish. He was serious, even if that meant upsetting you. This was for the best. “It’s your decision. Them or me. Choose wisely.”

“That’s unfair!” one of your friends cried out, upset about his intention, and Kazuha looked at them sharply from the corner of his eye, silencing them effectively. “It’s not unfair,” he shut their argument down, looking only at you as he spoke. “They made you choose first and broke your heart. I never have and never will hurt you. But I am not so sure about the people who already did it once.”

Kazuha’s words had impact; he could see it in your eyes. You, too, remembered the bad times that felt like your heart was ripped into pieces by the people you put so much trust in. And instead, it had been him who was there, making sure you ate and drank in your troubled times, and got rest when you needed it. Even if there was no luxury in his life, he still had been a better friend than any of them. Kazuha completely missed that he suggested dropping you the same way your friends had when he made you choose. He didn’t want to believe you would choose anyone over him after all he did for you. You belonged to him, and he belonged to you. That’s how love worked. 

“I love you.” 

A dirty trick. One that your friends couldn’t use. Kazuha directly pulled at your heartstrings, making you miss a breath as you grew even more blindsided. “I don’t want to lose you, again,” he didn’t hesitate to add, noticing how your friends’ faces grew worried and upset at his words. He was hinting at the bad time you two had gone through. The one that made a part of you die. But you only looked down, hands balling into fists as you felt conflicted. There was no need for you to wreck your pretty head over these nobodies, Kazuha decided, holding out his hand. You only needed him—as much as he needed you. 

Timidly, you reached for his hand, and he gripped yours tightly, pulling you up from your seat and after him, away from these fake friends and their fake worry without another word to them. “It’s better like this,” he assured you, dragging you through the crowd so you wouldn’t be able to look back at your past. He was before you, your future, and he wouldn’t let anyone take you from him and ruin this for you. 

But when you were unresponsive, he threw a glance back over his shoulder, noticing the tears streaming down your eyes. You two came to a stop as he turned around, cupping your face and pulling you into a kiss. Even though your hands came to rest against his chest, pushing, you never managed to escape his grip, forced to kiss him until neither of you could hold your breath anymore. Leaning his forehead against yours, you were left speechless, but not Kazuha.

“I love you. I love you so much. Promise me you’ll never go back to them.” It was hard to commit to that, but his hands grew tighter around your face, desperate to hear it. “You chose me,” he insisted, pain swinging in his voice. “You’re not leaving me.”

There was no way of saying where those emotions came from, but he didn’t give you time to think them over. This was the future he chose, by your side. And that night, you chose it too, even if you ended up not liking it once you found out that your friends had been right all along.

[plan-d-to-i]

I love how sure they are that JC is able to connect these dots. Like I’m sure he was very convinced that every demonic cultivator is WWX incorporated yet still went to look for more of them. Almost like… he doesn’t have any idea what he’s doing and is simply lashing out because of anger issues *pickachu face*

I’m so sick of this fandom but the fanarts are too cute to not look into the tag

Lol "it's certainly the explanation I prefer" - yes I'm sure... lol 🌝

I've seen jc stans drag this poor scene, and the idea that jc doesn't run around publicly accusing MXY of being WWX over and over as "proof" that jc still cares about WWX's wellbeing like he's not doing what he usually does- nothing helpful. Like he didn't try to kidnap and torture him TWICE already and only didn't manage to fully follow through because others intervened. Like the siege was going to end in anything other than the annihilation of WWX and the Wens. Let's be serious. jc didn't want to stand by WWX and help the Wens when all it would have taken was him admitting what WQ and WN did for him and maybe dealing w some grumbling. He was going to suddenly face off against all the gathered Clans big and small?!! He didn't just LEAD the siege he strategized it! WWX plays down jc's involvement bc that's what WWX does when it comes to the jiangs and other people harming him. You can tell how much Wen Ning believes him. Wen Ning understands that no matter if the actual killing blow came from jc or not he's the one responsible for WWX's demise.

Wen Ning finally looked up at him, “But, Sect Leader Jiang clearly…”

Wei WuXian, “Nobody can walk safely on a single-plank bridge for their whole life. It couldn’t be helped.”

Wen Ning seemed as if he wanted to sigh, but he had no breath to let out. Wei WuXian ended the conversation, “Okay. Let’s not talk about him anymore. Have you heard of anything else?”

jc himself knows MXY is WWX from his reaction to Fairy but there are several very good reason jiang cheng doesn't accuse the man accompanying the Leader of the Lan Clan and Hanguang Jun of being the Yiling Patriarch come back to like.

1. as Jin Ling says, jc already hit WWX w Zidian in front of an entire crowd of people from various Clans and failed to expel his soul, decisively publicly proving that he wasn't the Yiling Laozu come back to haunt them- which is what WWX intended:

One unique power of “Zidian” was that, if it hit someone who seized another’s body, their soul and physical form would immediately separate. Without any exceptions, the person’s soul would be whipped away from the body. Yet, Wei WuXian was still moving properly and running about after he was hit. The only explanation was that he did not seize this body.

Wei Wuxian thought, How useless. Obviously Zidian can’t whip my soul out. I didn’t steal this body, someone offered it to me. Actually, he practically forced it on me!

Jiang Cheng’s expression was surprised but suspicious, and the intention to whip Wei Wuxian again crossed his eyes.

But Lan Jingyi shouted, “Chief Jiang, isn’t once enough? This is Zidian!”

A cultivation tool the level of Zidian wouldn’t fail on the first try only to succeed on the second. If no soul was expelled, no soul was expelled. If someone hadn’t snatched the body, they hadn’t snatched the body, or else the weapon was undeserving of its reputation. In fact, the shout made Jiang Cheng, who cared about maintaining his reputation above anything else, unable to make another move. (Chapter 10)

Yet another person muttered, “No matter how you look at it, it isn’t him, right?…Plus, his flute playing is awful…he hasn’t really learned to play, only to make ridiculous, shoddy imitations.” (Chapter 10)

2. Everyone thinks jiang cheng is a mad dog who thinks he sees WWX returned everywhere. Most would probably not take his word as conclusive to begin with LET ALONE believe him after the former incident.

Everyone in the cultivation world knew that the young leader of the Jiang Clan watched out for Wei WuXian in an almost crazed manner. He would rather catch the wrong person than let go of any possibility, and took anyone who seemed like they held the soul of Wei WuXian away to the YunmengJiang Sect, inflicting severe torture on his victim. (Chapter 11)

Jin GuangYao, “You really ask me to do the impossible, Young Master Xue. Do you think I haven’t tried? How could anything be that simple. That Jiang WanYin has already gone mad. He still thinks Wei WuXian hasn’t died. If Wei WuXian returned, he might not search for his sword, but he’d definitely come for Chenqing. And so, he would definitely not give up Chenqing. A few more words of mine, and he might blow up.”

Xue Yang sniggered, “A mad dog.” (Villainous Friends extra)

3. Wei Wuxian literally explains why jiang cheng doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to accusing him!

The two walked in the front while the rest of the boys followed some distance behind them. After walking for a while, Lan WangJi spoke up, “Jiang Cheng knows who you are.”

Wei WuXian was sitting on the donkey as it slowly trotted forward, “Yeah, he knows. What can he do, though? He doesn’t have any evidence.”

Unlike the possession of bodies, there was no evidence to the sacrifice of bodies. Jiang Cheng only determined the fact through how he looked when facing a dog, anyway. First, Jiang Cheng had never told anyone that Wei WuXian was afraid of dogs; second, only those familiar with him would be able to judge things based on reactions and expressions, since there couldn’t be any conclusive proof. Even if Jiang Cheng finally chose to stick flyers that said the YiLing Patriarch Wei WuXian was scared of dogs everywhere he could, everyone would probably just think that the Sandu Shengshou had gone insane after spending so many years hunting down innocents on suspicion of being Wei Wuxian. (chapter 45)

SO jc did nothing to hinder them because he couldn't and nothing useful because he wouldn't. But jc had done his best to craft Jin Ling into someone as filled with anger resentment and hate as himself and making sure Jin Ling hates WWX enough that he feels compelled to stab him - something we know is out of character for JL and that he ends up regretting. And something that could have ended in tragedy.

[obxsummer]

By Your Side // John B Routledge

john b routledge x reader

warnings: physical violence, angst

part of #obx2celebration

masterlist

ask me anything

a/n: y'all please keep in mind this is fictional. i know the process of what happens in here would never happen in real life but that's the fun of it all :)

summary below the cut to avoid spoilers

--

summary: seeing your boyfriend in prison was never easy, but seeing him in the medical wing leads to a heart to heart in each other's arms.

The weight in your chest was getting heavier and heavier with each breath you took. It felt like you would never catch a break, never be able to breathe fully ever again. Ever since you and John B returned to the Outer Banks, it felt like it was one thing after another that just caused more and more trouble for the two of you. Nothing was worse than the look on his face when the cops finally cornered you and your friends. You had gripped John B’s hand as long as possible before he was torn from your grasp.

The whole day seemed like a blur then, but the soreness in your throat was still there from where you screamed at Shoupe and Deputy Thomas for how they handled John B. It was unforgivable, burned in your mind on repeat as you watched the scene over and over again with your heart cracking a little more each time. Regardless of the fact that your boyfriend was being arrested and charged for something he had nothing to do with, you couldn’t get over the fact that he was being shoved around and literally beaten by the people who were supposed to protect and help you. Needless to say, anytime you saw Shoupe or Deputy Thomas, your glare was enough to make them wish they hadn’t stepped foot in your path.

You were a mess without John B. Normally, the two of you were attached at the hip, but being without him was never this hard. The lingering thought in the back of your head kept reminding you that he wasn’t safe, he wasn’t home. Every minute he spent in prison was a minute you didn’t sleep because you were so worried.

Kie had done her best to try to console you. JJ had spewed crazy plans that only made you more upset because you knew none of them would work and John B wasn’t getting out unless you exposed Ward. Pope was silent, lurking in the shadows at the loss of his best friend. He clung to Kie in hopes that they would all figure something out soon enough.

The Chateau was nowhere near as comforting, even with all of your friends scattered across the house at every second of the day. You had visited John B each chance you had just to reassure yourself that he wasn’t gone completely. You would do anything to be in his arms, to hold him and just tell him everything would be okay.

Walking through the doors of the county jail, you moved without words to set all of your stuff on the counter that you couldn’t bring through. The lady behind the desk, Beth, was the only saving grace you had found in the chaos of this mess. She was the only one to treat you respectfully when it came to anything revolving John B. Although she never outwardly stated it, she believed your story, and that meant more to you than she would ever know.

“Hi, Y/N,” She greeted with a small smile. You returned the gesture and accepted the visitor lanyard she stretched out to you. Walking through the metal detector, you followed her back through the hallways. You had slowly gotten used to the cursing and yelling that followed your arrival. Beth was the Director of Visitor Safety throughout the building and in the short time you had known her, she had pulled many strings in regards to you and John B. Within the first two days, she had realized how uncomfortable it was for the two of you to sit and stare at each other with everyone listening. (And yes, she meant everyone because nobody could be in the presence of a “cop killer” and not be amazed).

Beth led you into her office with a smile and shut the door behind her as she left to grab John B. You were more than grateful for her help with everything. Had Beth not been there the day you walked in with tears streaming down your face from the anxiety and terrifying aura of the whole idea, you didn’t know what you would’ve done.

Glancing at the clock, you noticed more time had gone by than usual, and the sound of yelling that emerged had your heart sinking. You stood up, fingers twisting into the torn bandana fabric around your neck out of habit as you stared at the door in worry.

Beth appeared in the window a second later before opening the barrier and looking at you. “Come with me, hurry.” You followed her without another word, keeping close so you wouldn’t lose her. When she diverged off the normal path, you knew something was really wrong. She led you down a separate hallway, scanning her badge when necessary until big letters above the door told you this was the medical bay.

When you made it past the door frame, your eyes instantly landed on the bright orange jumpsuit that your boyfriend was clad in before noticing the expression of terror on his face as he sat on the bed. “John B!”

Wide brown eyes met your gaze in a split second before John B was shoving the nurse’s hands away to catch you the moment you collided with him. You could hear Shoupe, who had been standing nearby, let out what sounded like a sigh of relief before he mumbled something about filing a report and left the room.

“Are you okay? What the hell happened?” You asked John B once you leaned back, hands still grabbing his uniform as if he would disappear through your fingers.

“This is my daughter, Macy,” Beth introduced the nurse standing close by as she avoided your question. “We’re gonna hang over here for a second. If you guys need anything, let us know.”

The two of you gave Beth an appreciative nod as she stepped aside with her daughter. Turning back to your boyfriend, you caught the bruises covering his neck in the light. “JB…” Tears burned your eyes as your fingers glazed over the marks which made him wince. “What the fuck?”

Your boyfriend pulled you back into his chest, fingers running through your hair as he took a deep breath. Nothing was more calming to him than having you in his arms. Being able to actually hold you, feel your skin on his, was healing to him. “Doesn’t matter,” He mumbled against your hair as he recognized the comforting smell of your shampoo. “So glad you’re here.”

The small sob that escaped your throat didn’t surprise him much. John B wasn’t oblivious to what was going on to you without him around. It broke his heart that he couldn’t be there to talk you through it all. Most of the times you came to visit, you were constantly holding him in some way just to feel his skin on yours.

“What if something worse happens?” You choked out through shaking breaths. “John B, you’re not safe here. This isn’t fair. I’m not losing you in a prison of all places!”

“It’s gonna be fine,” He hummed as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I’m gonna be fine, babe. We’re gonna figure it out.”

“I’m ripping Shoupe a new one,” You grumbled as you reluctantly let go of him to look at the bruises lining his skin. You let out a teary sigh before your boyfriend brushed the salty drops from your face. “I’m getting you out of here. I’m going home and I’m literally… I don’t know, I’ll find something, somehow. I’m not standing here and letting this happen.”

John B couldn’t keep the smile from forming on his face as he kissed you softly. “I don’t want you doing anything besides taking care of yourself, okay? Please. For me.”

You huffed but nodded regardless. “Whatever, JB.”

“I’m serious!” He argued as he placed his hands on your cheeks to get your attention. “Please. There’s no point in tearing yourself apart without me.”

“Fine, then tell me what happened.”

John B rolled his eyes and sat on the edge of the bed before grabbing your hips and situating you to stand between his legs. His fingers squeezed your sides before he spoke up, “I think your dad has someone on the inside, here, and he’s trying to get rid of me and make it look like an accident.”

You blinked for a moment as you processed before you nodded slightly in agreement. “I wouldn’t put it past him.” You struggled with the idea that this was all your father’s fault and the guilt in your chest was getting worse each second. “I’m sorry, JB.”

“It’s not your fault,” He comforted as he squeezed your hips again in reassurance. “Come on, babe. You know that. I would never blame you for any of this. We just gotta get some evidence to end it, okay?”

“Y/N.” Beth’s voice interrupted your thoughts as you looked up at her. “I’m sorry, honey. We gotta go.”

You nodded slowly, hands intertwining with John B’s as you pressed one last kiss to his forehead. “Promise me you’ll be careful?”

Your boyfriend smiled slightly. “You know careful’s not in my vocabulary.”

Flicking his cheek gently, you smiled as you stepped out of his grasp to follow Beth back out while Macy attended to your boyfriend. Your thoughts were running, but one thing you knew for certain. You would get John B out of prison if it was the last thing you did.

--

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