#none of this peepaw shit

[vampirekilmerfic]

Captain John "Full Grown Adult Man" Price™

[tenspontaneite]

Doodled a Suns on the new tablet 👌 I am increasingly into this feather mane thing I've been trialling lately

[skelswritingcorner]

I'd like to mention that, if my writing of grandparents seems a little off, that's because I rarely interacted with them and my grandparents were never really part of my life :3 (excluding my paternal grandpa because he at least texts me sometimes and actually came to my graduation despite living really far away)

[gutsby]

Make It Stick

Pairing: Old!Joel x Reader

Summary: Joel never thought he’d need a vasectomy. Then, one night, he accidentally finishes inside you.

Warnings: 18+. Unprotected-peepaw-p-in-v (I’m sorry). Accidental creampie. Age gap. Cumplay. Breeding kink. Ovulation has led me places I wouldn’t go with a gun.

Note: Convergence is a painting by Jackson Pollock. We studied it in high school and I thought it looked like jizz idk

Word count: 4.7k

He should’ve gotten snipped when he had the chance.

Should’ve taken the plunge, faced his fears of needles and fluorescent-washed doctor’s offices like any man his age could have done and gotten the damn vasectomy. Now he was here, nearly two decades older and still none the wiser in this cold, dead world with a pretty young thing like you between his sheets. In lieu of elective surgery, Joel Miller had only to grit his teeth, bite hard, and repeat over and over again in his head, desperate:

‘Don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum, DON’T—’

Words like those normally worked. With women that weren’t you, they tended to serve him exceedingly well.

But you were just so tight. And wet. And welcoming. And try as Joel might to pretend like he got laid on a regular basis, the truth was that he didn’t. Wouldn’t. Couldn’t seem to think straight when it came to this fixation he’d developed for you, so, instead, he let his dick do all the decision-making whenever he found himself around you. Ten times out of ten that ended in:

“J-J-Joel—oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck—I’m gonna CUM.”

And that made it worth every last life-endangering drop.

Feeling how your flushed, lithe body came apart beneath his touch. How you needed him. How your eyes grew to half the size of your face and you gaped up at the man, lips parted, like you couldn’t even comprehend how the friction of seven inches could make you feel so good.

If he had it his way, he would’ve loved nothing more than to show you that feeling every night, and twice the next morning if his hip wasn’t giving him too much trouble.

But, at present, the man had bigger fish to fry. Like not becoming a new father at fifty-nine if he could help it.

With the last two fluttering pulses of your heat, and almost going cross-eyed from the pleasure as he felt it, Joel yanked his big, slippery cock out of your body and made a fist around his member as he always knew to do. Tugged and pulled and grunted above you—‘Sweet girl, you’re so fuckin’ good to me’—and watched your tits and your belly for the milky white ropes to ensue.

Strangely, though, your skin stayed the same.

No cum-spray Convergence appeared before him, no opaque and cloudy fluids dribbling down your ribs, nothing. Your stomach was as bare as the rest of you, save for a few beads of sweat, and that was all there was.

Joel shook his dick harder, confused. Beneath him, you were still coming down from your high smiling ear-to-ear and staring blissfully at the ceiling. Your chest rose and fell, rose and fell in quick succession, and while you endeavored to recollect your mind, Joel was losing his.

Where the FUCK was his cum?

In no naked horizontal tango to date had Joel simply…cum without noticing. Shit like that just didn’t happen to men, least of all to ones his age, so when he’d wrung his poor cock like a sodden towel and still saw nothing come out, he felt his stomach turn and plummet inside him.

He dropped to his hands and knees in less than a moment and lowered his head between your legs.

“No, Joel!” you squealed, giggling. Kicking your feet, “Another round and I’m gonna combust, you old perv!”

But Joel wasn’t looking to get his dick wet again. He was inspecting you. Or trying to, anyway. Quickly realizing he couldn’t see a thing in the darkness, he let out a breath through his nose and lifted you off the bed. Your naked frame thrown over his shoulder, bare hip beside his head and your strangled, muffled cry of, ‘What the hell, Joel?!’ hardly seemed to register with the man carrying you off.

You were toted to the bathroom. Joel was about to ease you down on your feet. Then, appearing to change his mind at the last second, he set you onto the sink instead. Your skin bristled with indignation, anger. A little arousal.

“Last time we did it on a sink we broke the faucet,” you reminded him, feigning more dismay than you really felt inside. If anything, you liked it when your fossil-age fuckbuddy switched things up. You were just exhausted.

Heedless of your words, Joel kneeled on the floor and pried your legs apart before him. When you swatted at his silver-flecked head, he brushed your hand away.

“Hold still,” he grunted.

“How come?”

“‘Cause I said.”

How quickly he commanded that tone of a father.

“Wanna sleep,” you groaned, about to roll your eyes.

But you couldn’t deny you liked being doted on by him.

Joel’s touch was gentle. Probing. Spidering down the most sensitive parts of your bare lower half, between your thighs, and slowly coaxing you closer to the edge of the sink. Your breath hitched when you saw his head tilt.

He appeared to be deep in thought—a rare sight for anyone who’d seen Joel Miller in the postcoital state. Most every time he’d blown his load before, the man was dead asleep within ten minutes. His joints could barely hold himself upright after a half hour of plowing the back forty, much less carry you, too, so you were puzzled now.

He thumbed at the seam of your cunt, and you whined:

“Jo-el—”

“Can ya…push, baby?” His eyes flitted up quickly.

“Push?”

“Yeah, just…” With a look you couldn’t quite read, he placed the palm of his other hand on your belly. Then, pressing, “Like this. Like you’re squeezin’ somethin’ out.”

You cocked a brow in muted confusion but did as he asked. You watched his gaze, and it stayed on you.

Or, rather, on that soft and pliant spot between your legs the old man seemed to favor so much. On any other occasion, in a position like this, he surely would’ve been wearing a smile. Tonight, his lips curled into a grimace.

And twisted even further when you ‘pushed’ like you did.

At first you felt nothing. A gentle clench of your walls supplied little more than a sense of having been stretched—no novel concept to you, who’d spent the last three-and-a-half months or so getting fucked by the finest AARP affiliate alive most every night. It wasn’t until you clamped down again that you got the feeling there was something else. Something thick and warm and slow as molasses trickling out from between your folds.

You let out a low, tender, ‘Mmph’ without meaning to; it felt kind of nice. Beneath you, Joel’s face turned grave.

He watched as his spend oozed out of your freshly-fucked hole and thought of vasectomies again.

You were young—too young to know better. Too sweet and naïve to see any peril in spreading your legs for a man like him, in a world like this. And Joel swore he’d be careful. But no post-apocalyptic birth control method was perfect, or even close to it, and it was clear he’d relied too heavily on reflexes to keep him from cumming inside you. Joel was old—too old to be doing this shit.

Too grown and well-versed in sex to be making mistakes as stupid as that. His brow pinched in, and he drew his next breath as if the air around him was growing scarce.

“Joel, what’s—”

“When’s the last time you— you— uh…bled?”

Hardly more in control of his face than the rate his heart went thudding in his chest, Joel winced at the end. This time, you were the one to knit your eyebrows together. You could tell by that tight, discomfited tone he wasn’t talking papercuts, but were still unsure of his purpose.

“Like two, two and a half weeks ago. Why?”

Well, fuck.

Joel buried his face in his hands. You scooted closer to the sink’s edge, thinking little of his cum leaking out.

“Why?” you tried again. Softer this time.

An old, weathered head lifted to greet you. It was bleak.

“You see this?” Joel paused. Swiping his finger through the viscous white substance that had trickled out on the counter, in a puddle now, “Y’know what it means, right?”

You let his look, and the question, remain suspended in air for a second. Then another. Then you shrugged.

“Yeah. But…you’re old,” came your answer at length.

You’re old.

Joel and you both knew as much, but the former wasn’t quite following your train of thought. Still wanting to try and mitigate damages while he could, though, Joel reached for the roll of toilet paper that was fastened to the wall and tore himself a strip. He bunched it up and, reaching for one of your knees to spread you further for him, took to daubing the tissue across your entrance.

“What’s me bein’ old got to do with anything?” A little sharp, then, seeing you flinch when he drew too close to your clit, “‘m sorry, baby, just— gotta get this out of you.”

You made a face but let him continue anyway. Your eyes followed each movement of his hand, and reflexively, the muscles in your thighs tightened. Why bother with this when the man has so many better uses for his hands?

For a second, your eyes fluttered half-shut.

“Maria says old folks are, uh…infertile. Got something to do with a middle pause,” you said, breaths labored.

Joel stopped just long enough to shoot you a look.

“Menopause,” he corrected, all too matter-of-fact, before returning to his work, “is a woman thing.”

What the hell were they teaching in Jackson’s sex ed classes, anyway? Then Joel remembered how his brother sincerely believed that women peed out of their vaginas until he was twenty-three, and the thought of you not knowing the ins and outs of male virility wasn’t the most far-fetched idea in the universe. Besides, sexual health wasn’t exactly the community’s highest priority when the world around it was in a perpetual state of decay and hordes of fungus-faced fuckers ran rampant in the wild.

He curved a tender, careful finger against the ring of muscles framing your sex, trying to absorb more cum, and your grip on the edge of the countertop tightened.

“S-So, you—” You swallowed, throat constricting a little too, “You’re sayin’…men can make babies…whenever?”

You sounded so innocent as you said it. Joel wanted nothing more than to club himself over the head for being the cause of this predicament—of being such an instrumental part of the perceived corruption, as it was.

Meanwhile, your head was swimming in filthier thoughts.

Deeper, Joel, keep…pushing in…dee-e-per. You would have scarcely had more luck giving a fuck what Joel was talking about now than if he’d just said the room was on fire. By his voice, you knew you should’ve been paying attention, but the dexterity of his fingers was too much. He was caressing the first couple inches of your inner walls, attempting to scrape what bits of his release he could get unstuck from the flesh, but it seemed he was succeeding mostly in just turning you on. Rendering you deaf to the drone of his words as you pictured him pushing something else inside your tight, throbbing—

“—whole lotta problems for us if you’re, uh…ovulating,” Joel finished, expression taut and oblivious. You hadn’t heard the first part of that sentence and didn’t care to.

“Ovulating,” you repeated slowly. Indifferent.

Joel carried on without a hitch.

“Kids just ain’t fit for this world. I know you know that.”

You nodded along, not hearing a word.

“And if you’re— if y’ever did consider, maybe…”

Your lungs took an extra sharp inhale when Joel’s fingers coaxed out a warm, sticky glob of his load, and he petted your folds with his thumb. Then let out a breath himself.

“…y’oughta start a family with someone your own age—”

That part snagged your attention. Too swiftly, it came:

“My own age?”

Sighing, in spite of those welts of pleasure so heightened by his touch that the space between your legs began to throb and ache. Hardly possessed of more sense to form words that weren’t just echoes of his own, you tried communication from a simpler source—your foot.

You nudged his shoulder, and Joel looked up.

“What?”

“What?”

Parroting was, evidently, a hard habit to kill. Your toes curled into the bare skin of Joel’s shoulder, and when he re-inserted his finger, you ground your heel even deeper.

“When’s that ev…ever stopped us from doing it before, hm?” you said, tone strained but laced with some humor too, “Thought you liked sayin’ you’d make me a mama.”

Joel’s face flooded pink at the recollection—as a matter of fact, there had been several such memories. Instead of answering immediately, he just averted his gaze again. He anchored one hand to your thigh, and with the other teased out another string of your shared arousal before wiping his finger on the tissue, clinically, and repeating. All he had to offer in reply after was: ‘That’s different.’

And it was, to some extent. Joel wasn’t blind to the sea of uneasy looks that trailed behind you both whenever you walked the streets of Jackson together. How wide the eyes would get when instead of observing some filial display of affection play out before them, as expected, you’d loop your arms around his waist and take his lip between your teeth as you kissed—‘Can we please go home now, baby?’—that Joel was certain he’d been cemented as the resident pervert among everyone in town. Just how much worse that reputation was liable to get if there ever happened to be a round and swollen belly between that embrace someday was unthinkable. Dirty talk was one thing; parenthood another entirely.

This is for the best, became the low, grating refrain in his skull. Why he dug so hard, pushed so far inside the wet, velvety interior of your body without a thought for his own desires in that moment; he had to cull every trace of himself out of there, before he had half a chance to think.

“Baby, hey, hey, no—” Joel cut in a second later, abrupt.

No, no, no. You weren’t thinking either. Wrapping your hand around his wrist, pushing his fingers deeper inside.

Smiling a little, too.

“What are you— no, honey, don’t— you can’t,” Joel’s words splintered in every direction, watching you plunge his own index and middle fingers into the slick and the warmth he’d just been trying to get his cum out of. He looked up and saw your lids were heavy, about to close.

“What are you doin’? This ain’t…no, baby, it ain’t…safe.”

Back to sounding like a dad in no time at all.

“What’s wrong with leaving it in a bit longer? Feels nice.”

You had no idea what you were talking about. Joel pulled back on his hand and, in less than a second, had it freed.

“I just told you,” he huffed, “You’re too young—”

“I’m plenty old, Joel,” you returned, eyes snapping open, “You’ve shown me that more times than I can count.”

Joel was silent, stunned. He rose to his feet as your eyes seared holes into his, and for a second, he was uncertain whether to take a step back or reach out for you again.

“Baby…”

To his surprise, something like hurt surfaced behind your eyes. You set your lips in a tighter line, and your grip on the counter grew firmer just the same. He would’ve taken that move as his cue to lean in gently, slot his body between your thighs, and venture an apology of some sort, when the next thing you did stopped him cold.

Without a word, you slipped your free hand between your legs—eyeing Joel closely, almost scornfully, as you did.

You took your middle and ring fingers and sank them into your cunt. Not intending to let a drop of his spend leak out, you wedged them in as far as they’d go. Joel watched. Gawked. Once sufficiently pleased with the look of shock taking over his handsome, aged features, you withdrew the fingers. You brought them up to your mouth, wrapped your lips around the tips, and sucked.

It was a rare thing to get a taste of you and Joel together like this, so you savored it. You moved your mouth further down to drink it all in, peering up with wide, indulgent eyes and a look that was meant to punish.

Feels nice.

Tastes alright, too.

You’d licked the last bit of this glaze off your hand when your stomach clenched. You knew it would happen. Full as you were, you feared your body still hungered for more. As such, it hardly came as a surprise when next your muscles tensed, and you shifted closer to Joel.

“Maybe I don’t want babies with someone my own age.”

Either one of your knees were nudging his hips. Drawing him in. Joel appeared to waver for a second, unsure, but the look on his face made it clear this was mostly a matter of a delayed reaction. He couldn’t get his legs to move because the rest of him was still in awe. Staring at your lips, where the residue of his spend was glistening, then to your eyes, which were no less inviting, then up to the crown of your head and over it, to fix his stare on the mirror behind it. You watched him watch his own reflection with a look that was both hard and unkind, breathing slow. When he didn’t stir from that position after a minute, you touched a hand to his lower stomach.

And, brushing the heel of your palm against what felt like a hundred grey hairs in the old man’s happy trail—your favorite ones—you smoothed a caress along his belly, back and forth, before moving it left. Your hand came to rest on a mound of muscle and fat sitting right above his hip. Love handles, Joel had remarked one morning with vague distaste. Love handles, you’d repeated, beaming. You held on tightly now, appreciatively, and used your well-loved wall of flesh to pull him closer. As with any beckoning of yours, Joel didn’t have so much as half a mind to resist. He did, however, refuse to meet your gaze while you tilted your hips and spread your legs wider, before winding your ankles around the backs of his legs.

“Don’t you think I’d look pretty?” You pouted up at him. Your folds made a light, warm suction rubbing along the front of Joel’s cock—of course he’d grown hard again, and you could hold him, point him down to that wet embrace awaiting him patiently at the edge of the sink.

Joel cursed under his breath.

“‘Course I do…” he said, voice hoarse, “Y’always look—”

“I mean…with your baby inside me, Joel. Right here.”

As if to put a finer point on your words, you nestled the head of his cock inside the first inch of your body. Joel had to seize the laminate underneath you and grit his teeth to keep from letting out a groan too loud. That tip may as well have been a first-rate conductor of heat, and your warmth the thing that might send him spilling again

“You don’t—” Joel choked out, nearly incensed, “—don’t know what the hell you’re sayin’, baby. What that means.”

In truth, there wasn’t a world Joel Miller could imagine where a girl like you could give more than a passing thought to getting knocked up by him—a man his age. What good would it do? You had your whole life laid out before you like a four-course dinner spread; there was no sense whatsoever in letting the meal go to waste on him.

He communicated as much by moving to pull out.

You met the effort with a push of your own, sinking down another inch or two on his shaft and smiling when you saw his eyes roll back in his head at the dizzying friction.

“I know more than enough, old man—” Grin stretching ear-to-ear as you dug your heels in his ass and tugged him deeper, “—who do you think taught me all this?”

Of course, it had been Joel.

Always, always him—the only one, in fact.

Your walls drew him in like a hug. For once, Joel conjured up the strength to take a look between your lower half and his, and when he did, the next moan was inevitable. It trickled through his lips. Your body looked sublime swallowing a third of his cock, and it was almost as though a maggot had crawled into his brain, chanting:

‘Make her full. Make her yours. Tell any man who’d even think of looking her way she belongs to someone else.’

He couldn’t.

Joel would never be so selfish. Just think of her youth.

But when his gaze drifted back to yours, every thought and any word besides seemed gently to melt away. Beneath him, your eyes were two pools of desire.

“You like this…don’t you, Joel?” Your voice was tiny.

“I do.”

In fact, he loved it.

“Then why can’t we?” Why shouldn’t we?

Minuscule now, the words that reached him barely exceeded a whisper. It was as though the moment itself had drained all fear from your face—and out of Joel, all common sense from his brain—leaving you both to stare at the other with shared, stupid, anoetic looks of bliss. The man who had you beat by thirty-odd years seemed nearly of the same mind, with almost identical ignorance.

Idiocy.

“Just once?” Joel croaked.

Somewhere underneath, unseen, you smiled.

“Just one?” you murmured back.

He sank in another inch. When your walls contracted around him, Joel’s hands found your hips by force of habit and pushed your back against the glass behind it. The mirror was cool, and inside you, Joel was throbbing.

“Once,” he repeated, not thinking too deeply.

“One,” you said, with a world of more purpose.

Joel relinquished the last three inches, and with it, all of his resolve. The handsome, scarred, and plainly greying features all twisted as one, and the expression that you knew too well to mean that the man was feeling good took on the slightest hint of guilt. He gripped you tighter.

“One?” Joel panted. Confused.

He pulled out halfway just to find his home again. Your pearly slick mixed together with his spend, and both coated over Joel’s shaft in a pretty, generous sheen.

“One more of you, I mean.” You sounded too sweet. There was no way in hell you’d actually meant it.

Joel’s cheeks flushed again, but he didn’t stop, either.

“Baby…” he trailed off instead. He pushed in, pulled out, felt your tender little hole make an ‘o’ around his shaft, and then he kissed the edge of your left cheek—maybe to rein in the need in his words before he spoke again: “One’a me takes and I’m givin’ ya fifteen more, y’hear?”

The smile he received told him as much as he needed to hear. He probably wouldn’t have believed it even if you’d said the words yourself. Joel’s thrusts sped up, and as the pleasure distended in the pit of his stomach with the friction and the feel, his words flowed a little more freely.

In disbelief, “Wanna be a mama that bad for me, huh?”

Your grin grew bigger. You nodded your head.

“Make your old man a daddy, is that it?”

Exactly. Senseless as it was, your look said it all.

To have slipped between the grooves and ridges of Joel’s brain and caught wind of even a fraction of the things he wanted to do to you then, a smarter girl would have run. Would have shoved him back out as swiftly as she’d let him in and told him no, that’s gross, and gone home. And, had the grey matter floating inside your own skull not been so completely dominated by primal need and wanting, that’s likely what you would have done, too. Instead, with a head full of lewd, youthful stupidity, you seized the black-grey curls dangling at the nape of his neck and drew him closer. You spread your legs wider.

“That is what you’ve wanted this whole time, right?”

Under his scruff, a muscle tensed as Joel bit down.

That’s all he’s ever wanted.

Let the neighbors talk.

Let them say what they wanted to say—it was probably all true to the point they were trying to make, anyway. That Joel was a pervert, of course. That you were naïve, also true. That you would look too good not to stare in a white cotton frock with a bump underneath, absolutely. These were the ideas permeating your brain and his while Joel took a firmer hold of your sides and brought his nose to rest against yours. With every stab of his hips, he pressed kisses to your soft, parted lips, speaking low:

“That what you want, too, darlin’?” More serious now.

The head of his cock nicked a sensitive ridge inside you, eliciting a whimper, but you nodded. You nodded again, feeling the brush of his stubble at your mouth and your chin, and nodded again when he bottomed out, stuffing you tight. It felt a little more momentous than any other time in the past, now that you were picturing a fullness that wasn’t just him. Him and you: a concrete being to soothe the sting of his absence long after Joel withdrew.

Something to stick.

“Please say it, baby.”

Someone to call yours.

“I want it,” you said, sounding desperate.

A coil was just starting to form in the place you felt him. Drifting up, pulling tight, making your eyes go glossy and wide while they stuck to Joel’s and begged him for more.

“Want what?” He sped up, and his thrusts got sloppy.

“Want you,” you breathed, “Inside me, Joel, please.”

As if predicting your next thoughts, the man lowered his hand to your belly. You hadn’t even noticed the smallest bulge had taken shape beneath the skin. Joel slowed, momentarily, then rubbed the base of his palm against the mound where your body was obliged to make room for his cock inside you. He drew soft, tender circles there and, with the motion, sent stars flying before your eyes.

“Good girl,” he murmured, “Right here?”

“Ri— right there. Right there.”

Joel adored that sound. The soft, elated look, the gentle knoll of flesh in a bump below his hand, the whimpers rolling off your tongue repeatedly, quicker and quicker the more the pleasure inside you continued to build. Joel’s release was coming soon, too. For the hundredth time that night, he silently wished he were a little younger; so he could fill you up once, twice, twenty more times until your insides were stuffed and painted white. As if reading his mind, as he had for you, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

“Hope our baby has your eyes,” you murmured to him.

It shouldn’t have had such a strong effect—but of course, it did. Joel pictured the small, sweet infant with irises that shone a bit like his, and his stomach caved in.

Tonight, tomorrow, or ten months down the line, he was getting you pregnant. He’d clear his whole schedule for it

“That right?” And now he couldn’t stop the smile as he spoke, leaning even further in, “What about their nose?”

He kissed the tip of yours.

“Hope they get this.”

He kissed either one of your cheeks.

“These too.”

You had to fight back a laugh while his scruff tickled skin. Two deep strokes away from the brink of release and he still somehow always stayed in tune with your needs.

The threat of your peak was perilously near. Joel’s spend and your slick, tender glaze made a chorus of sounds at each thrust, and the deeper he went, the bigger it swelled. Your smiles couldn’t stay for much longer when the feeling inside you both was being amplified like that. Sensing this, Joel took hold of your face and slipped his touch to cup your chin. He made you tilt your head up to him, as if to ask again, ‘Are you sure?’ and when you nodded, his lips twitched again. A fleeting hint of a grin, like he couldn’t be more eager to finish now if he tried.

Holding your face, cock swollen and throbbing and desperate between your walls, he felt a familiar twitch.

There it is.

[lxvvie]

y'all, I made the mistake of revealing that I write fanfiction as a hobby, and when asked about the fandoms I write for, I broke it down as I know best: into cliques. I realize I might be shaking the table but it is what it is.

This is what I said for CoD (I've since add some more stuff):

You got the forever war between Gaz Nation and Gaz Deniers. May or may not be rooted in his attractiveness as a person of color, opinions vary (read: it most definitely is). Bonus points if the racism comes out in full force. DOUBLE/TRIPLE those points if it's expressed using butchered ass AAVE. 🥴

You got the Masked Men Lovers Brigade of which König, Ghost, and Keegan are the patron saints and arguably the holy trinity.

You got the Peepaw Price Lovers who absolutely adore his chonky cheeks, peepaw mannerisms, lumberjack body complete with the slutty waist, and relative long-suffering thanks to the shenanigans of the rest of the crew.

You got the Soap Suds who, I think, have found that relative balance between Johnny being a destructive-as-all-hell force to be reckoned with and the quintessential golden retriever boyfriend. His VA doesn't make it any better apparently lmao.

You got the Ghost lovers who've pretty much diversified him so he can run the gamut of Daddy Dom Extraordinaire™, Babygurl™, Sassy Simon™, and the list is endless. What IS consistent is that someone parked a dump truck on that ass and he has some big ole titties. There's also the subset of people who REALLY, REALLY love Ghost but also think his VA is ugly (which he isn't) while simultaneously thinking that he (Ghost) is supposed to be David Gandy levels of immaculate despite being in active combat. Make it make sense.

There's the Gravediggers who, for the most part, acknowledge their love-hate relationship with Graves and I think that is both hilarious and endearing.

You have the Kult of Köthulhu, König's devoted followers who have allowed him to transcend his gremlin nature to become the long-lost progeny of Cthulhu. Move the fuck over, Cthylla. I kid but he, like Ghost, has also been diversified in terms of his portrayal. And no, he's not a part of 141. Some followers of His Gremliness are also embroiled in a forever war with Gaz Nation so please be safe out there, y'all.

You got the Valeria girlies who want her to sit on their faces. I don't blame them. Please do.

You have the Los Vaqueros crew who need more love shown to them and Pony by Ginuwine is their official theme song thanks to Alejandro Thee Stallion. The less said about the butchered Spanish I've read in some fics, the better.

There's also the Farah Fanatics who rightfully adore her and deserve their flowers just like the rest of the cliques.

There's the Keller Kollective who, I think, tends to intersect with the Farah Fanatics. This lot also deserves their flowers because Keller is a sub absolutely underrated as a character. You'd also be forgiven for thinking he and Price are elated.

You also got the Horangi Horde who, just like Gaz Nation, will RISE TF UP. I think. Hopefully. lmao

And then there's the self-righteous crew who, for whatever reason, seem to think they're above it all and love to police writers on what they write and how they write the characters (we're talking in terms of rather innocuous subjects in the grand scheme of things; the sus shit absolutely needs to be and should be called out). Interestingly enough, this group also seems to forget that they're in the same damn boat by being in the fandom, consuming, and writing about the same characters. The ones who have all the energy but none of the courage even if they say or think they do. Bonus points if they also move like fans. Double/Triple those points if they, too, also use butchered-ass AAVE to make their points. 🥴

The girlies who can't separate fiction from reality and insist on harassing the VAs and their significant others and families because how DARE they have a regular degular life outside of *checks notes* their job. Baby, it was never gonna be you. It will never. be. you.

did I get them all? lmao

[intimacyequalsdeath]

William Afton x Reader

This Fic is simply and entirely just for an experiment and if you babes enjoy it I will totally write more for this character in the future!

Notes: Minors DNI, Smut, Large age gap implied (Peepaw Afton) Reader is legal and of age but can be any age you'd like that's younger then William. No specific descriptions of reader or pronouns used (If pronouns are used it will be they/them). Daddy kink. Oral sex (Male receiving) William Afton in himself is a trigger warning so head that as you will.

"William I've been telling you about this for weeks!" You screamed at him from the top of the stairs of the home you shared with him. Some friends from college had invited you to go out to a bar with them just to hang out, apparently William forgot.

When you had asked William tonight if you could go he had shut it down with a quick "No" before telling you to go change your outfit and come take a seat on his lap. You instantly got angry as you had asked him four other times and he had said it would be alright.

"Baby watch that tone with me" William reprimanded you calmy as he stood at the bottom of the stairs looking up at you.

You stomped your foot on the ground like a child throwing a fit before escaping into your shared bedroom. You had promised your friends you'd go out and you weren't going to let William stop you.

You threw on a jacket you had taken out of the closest before heading over to the window, You hadn't snuck out like this since you were a teenager but it was worth it to make it to your friends. You opened it and lowered yourself out of it and down to the ground, using the gutter to help keep yourself from eating shit and falling.

Once on the ground you made your way carefully to the front of the house, keeping in mind the living room windows that William would be able to see you out of.

You called a cab to take you to the bar where you were meeting your friends at and soon forgot all about William at home. Your friends and you were having a great time, laughing and joking. You hadn't seen them in what felt like forever and it was great finally getting to hang out with them, until your phone, sitting on the bar next to you lit up.

Your friend glanced down at it before looking up and leaning over to you.

"Hey I think it's your boyfriend?..." She said confused, They knew you were in a relationship but they had never met William.

You picked up your phone to check the messages, You opened the messages and saw a few notifications for Williams number. You tapped on it to open them with your finger. You were met with two separate messages from William that read:

"You must think your so funny baby, Sneaking out like that and going against what I told you to do. I want you home and I want you home now, Don't make me come and get you"

"Ignoring me is not what you want to do right now. Get your ass in a cab and bring it the fuck home. If your not home in ten goddamn minutes your not gonna like the outcome"

You felt a tingle run up your spine reading how mad William was that you had snuck out. You smiled a little before rolling your eyes and typing out a quick

"Looks like your going to have to come and get me then"

Before shutting your phone off and returning back to your friends. The friend you had alerted you to William messaging you shot you a look before leaning back over to you.

"Are you sure this is alright? He seemed really mad your out with us" You laughed a little before quelling her worries.

"No he's fine! He just gets a little worked up sometimes don't worry about it" You assured her, She didn't seem to fully believe you but nodded anyway deciding to drop it.

You were thankful as you really didn't feel like being prodded with questions about your relationship with William. None of them would understand anyway, it was a reason you still hadn't went into detail with them about William.

You ordered another drink, non alcoholic as you didn't want to push William's buttons THAT much. As you soon returned into the conversation with your friends. Laughing and joking once more until another interruption came from the friend who had read the messages.

She shook you on the shoulder a bit then motioned to the door. You turned to see your William, standing in the middle of the bar in all his glory. Eyes scanning the semi crowded room, no doubt looking for you.

Holy shit you thought to yourself, He was actually serious about coming to get me. You ignored the feeling in your lower regions that this ignited when you realized just how possessive William could get. Sure he had always been that way but he had never done anything like this before.

Before William's eyes could find you, you decided to not have a scene in front of your friends. Giving them a quick goodbye and telling them you'd text them later you put money to cover your drinks on the bar and made your way towards William.

His eyes finally met you as you made your way towards him, pushing past some people with a quiet excuse me. He gave you a smile that didn't reach his eyes as you closed the distance between you.

You smiled back at him sheepishly, starting to feel guilty for making him worry and then causing him to be angry at you.

"Will-" You started.

"Don't" He snapped, cutting you off. "Just go get in the car, We'll talk on the drive home" You followed the order without any pushback.

Once settled in the drivers side William started the call, pulling away from the curb and starting the drive home. At first it was silent before William started speaking.

"I want you to explain to me why you thought sneaking out was a good idea" He asked calmy, almost too calmly.

You took a breath before answering him.

"I was mad, I was mad at you for saying no even though every other time I've asked up until tonight it was a yes. I didn't mean to make you mad or worry I just was mad at you and didn't care what you said" William sighed before speaking again.

"So you put yourself in danger cause you were mad at me? are you serious baby?. Do you have any idea what could've happened had you went out and gotten drunk tonight?" William asked, his voice rising in anger slightly as he spoke.

'Will nothing would of happened! I was with my friends!" You exclaimed back to him.

You could see him grip the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white.

"Will" You said softly, you hand moving to rub his shoulder. "I'm sorry daddy" You felt his shoulder slowly untense under your fingers.

"Baby doll, Your gonna have to do a whole lot better then that" He said. Eyes never once leaving the road.

Your hands snapped to the belt and the zipper of his pants. He angled his hips to assist you in pulling them down just far enough to fish his cock out of his underwear.

You gave it a few strokes, Watching the precum appear on the head. Before bending over to take him into your mouth. You heard William sigh from above as your mouth made contact with his dick.

You gave the head a few licks, before one of William's hands came to the back of your head to encourage you to take him deeper into your mouth. You lowered your head, your lips wrapping around his girth as your began to bob up and down on his cock.

William's hand tightened its grip on your hair as he tried to keep himself from thrusting up into your mouth.

"That's a good fuckin baby huh?" You heard him murmur.

You took him the rest of the way into your mouth, slightly gagging at the feeling of him hitting the back of your throat. You felt William start to move around, Knowing he was close you used your hand to stroke him as you continued to work him in and out of your mouth.

William's hand shoved your head down onto his cock as he came, not allowing you to lift your head up and his warm, sticky ropes splashed against the back of your throat.

You swallowed it as he gave it to you. At once his hand released your head and you were able to lift it up. You picked yourself up and leaned back into your seat but not before fixing Will's pants. He placed a warm hand on your thigh rubbing the soft skin with his thumb.

"That's a good start honey, but bad little bunnies need to get punished for breaking the rules" He said chuckling darkly at the end. You scoffed getting instantly annoyed.

"Really will?" You asked throwing your hands up. "What I did wasn't even that bad, you came and got me anyway" You grumbled. William scoffed back at you.

"You just don't get it do you, you disobeyed me. You have to learn what happens when you disobey me. When we get home I want you to go into the bedroom and wait for me, take that outfit off while your at it" He said patting your thigh before turning his entire attention back to the road to continue the drive home.

When the car, after what felt like an eternity, finally pulled into the driveway you hopped out before William could say anything. You slammed the passenger door shut and stomped your way into the house.

You slammed the front door shut not caring where William ways and made your way upstairs. You sat down on the bed, you weren't going to take your clothes off for Will, if he wanted you out of them he had to do that himself.

You heard his footsteps coming up the stairs and soon enough he was leaning against the bedroom door frame staring at you. Your eyes met his in defiance and you could see the emotions brewing behind them. He sucked his teeth and tsked at you.

"You're really pushing it tonight huh?" He asked sounding almost indifferent, but you knew him better then that. Will was furious.

You leaned back against the headboard, crossing your arms and shrugging your shoulders.

"Yeah, and what the fuck are you going to do about it" With that William pushed himself off the door frame and made his way over to you. His hands at the collar of his shirt making quick work of his tie and undoing the first few buttons.

He grabbed you by your ankle, brining you to the side of the bed so your legs were hanging off and he was standing between them peering down at you. You leaned back onto your hands as he brought one of his up to your neck.

He took the tie the rest of the way out of his shirt and pondered it for a second before giving you the first order of many.

"Give me your hands" He told you. It wasn't a suggestion but an order.

You gulped nervously but nevertheless presented your hands to him. He worked the silky fabric around your wrists before knotting it, not to tight but not to loose. He pushed your connected wrists back forcing them over your head subsequently making you lay the rest of the way down on the bed.

His now free hands wrapped slightly around your neck, giving it a firm squeeze before moving down to your chest. His hands stopped, giving him a second to feel your before they moved up higher, gripping the top of your outfit before tearing it in two.

"Will! This was my favorite top!" You yelled. His hands snapped back to your neck.

"Did I say you could speak?" He asked. It now hit you that tonight, William was serious.

You shook your head as his hands once again ever so slightly increased pressure on your neck. His thumb rubbing over your pulse point almost mockingly.

He took his hands off your neck to go down to remove your bottoms, the ones he had never liked, always "too short" he tutted when you tried to wear them on date nights. He pulled them down your legs before taking his own shirt the rest of the way off. Throwing both articles of clothing elsewhere in the room before turning his attention back to you.

You didn't have anything on under either so now you were entirely exposed to him. Entirely at the mercy of the man standing over you peering down at your naked body.

You watch as Will paused for a second, drinking you in for a second before his hands moved down to his belt. Within no time his belt and pants had been removed along with his underwear.

His cock smacked against his stomach as his took his underwear off before standing at attention. You shivered watching it, the excitement palpable.

He moved to put his knees on either side of your hips, straddling you. He leaned over bringing his mouth to the side of your neck. Running his teeth over your pulse point before licking a stripe where his teeth had been.

"Will please" You begged softly, a hand smacked against one of your thighs.

"Shut up" He reprimanded. He moved so he could pick up your legs, bringing them over his shoulders as he pushed his length into you.

You gasped at the sudden feeling of being full as he bottomed out. His hips meeting yours as he sheathed himself entirely inside of you giving you no time to adjust to his girth and length.

"This is what bad bunnies get" He told you.

He began to thrust, in and out in and out at a steady pace. The only sound that filled the room was skin slapping against skin as he punished you. Your eyes began to roll back into your head as he fucked you stupid, He brought a hand up to lightly smack your cheek.

"Eyes one me, No where else but me" He commanded. Your eyes opened back up and met his.

You could feel the heat quickly gathering in your belly, your orgasm approaching you. You moaned loudly as the bliss washed over you. Your eyes not helping but to roll back in your head as the orgasm ripped through your body.

William didn't stop though, he continued to thrust just as hard as he had been. Shortly there after you could feel the start of your second orgasm quickly approaching you.

You tried to lift your connected wrists up to push at William but he took a hand to slam them back down against the bed.

"That's a good fucking bunny!" He yelled, as sticky hot ropes of his cum began to paint your insides white. A hand wrapped around your throat, pushing you into the mattress as he came and continued thrusting into you.

Your second orgasm of the night washed over you as William finally slowed down but didn't remove his cock. His hands reached up to untie your hands. Now untied you brought your hands around his neck as his face went back to yours.

He used this to put his hands under your thighs and lift you up to move you to lay down in bed fully. Never once removing his cock from you. He covered the two of you with the blanket.

"Will aren't you gonna...Ya know" You asked him wondering what he was doing.

"Nah bunny, Your gonna sleep with me inside you, keeping all my cum nice and warm in you" He said holding you against him and running a hand through your hair.

You were simply too tired to protest against him. Your eyes closing as you snuggled into him.

After a bit you succumbed to sleep. Whether or not you had learned your lesson still had yet to be seen.

[mothmanssweetsucculentass]

What are your head cannons for characters in different factions within Zenless being friends? (Example: Lucy and Corin being friends because they have the shared experience of not great parents based on what the game reveals).

Ooooooh I hadn’t thought about this til now—

I’m gonna try and include as many characters as possible in this!!

So first off, everyone in the Cunning Hares gets along with everyone in The Sons of Calydon. Considering Billy used to be a former member of the gang, I’d say the two work pretty closely/know each other fairly well. For specifics, I think Anby and Caesar have the same mindset when it comes to combat, and Nekomata and Burnice bond over being chaos gremlins. Nekomata would also love Piper, nap taking gang go Brrrr. I think the only ones who wouldn’t like each other would be Nicole and Lucy, and they tend to just hate each other in secret/behind everyone else’s back’s cause they care about their own groups too much.

Similarly, I think Belobog also has similar ties to Victoria Housekeeping. Lycaon and Corin both like Ben, but for different reasons. Lycaon likes Ben due to thiren solidarity, and Lycaon also thinks he’s a pretty decent guy who’s chill and all that. If Belobog ever needs a commission from Victoria, or vice versa, the transactions are made between those two.

Corin likes him cause of how gentle and understanding he is. She sees a lot of her new father figure Lycaon in him.

As much as it pains me to say it, I don’t really think anyone in Victoria Housekeeping would like the company of the more criminally aligned factions (so far being the Cunning Hares and Sons of Calydon). Sure, Victoria Housekeeping may not have the greatest moral compass, but they do have a reputation to uphold.

The only one I think does make sense is Corin and Nekomata considering their actions in canon. Maaaaaybeee if you squint, I can see Anby and Ellen getting along, too

Seth being the himbo that he is would definitely befriend Rina on accident. Like, she would just be doing the mind manipulation stuff and being super condescending and shit, and he’d be none the wiser and think her insults to be genuine compliments.

And obviously because of that, I think Rina and Jane would also be besties. Gaslight gatekeep girlboss solidarity.

Lycaon and Qingyi I think would also get along at least somewhat well, considering both are very peepaw coded characters. Lycaon also deems it good to have at least one cop friend for emergencies.

Soldier 11 often works with NEPS, but hasn’t been able to form a close bond with anyone outside of Phaethon due to how insanely busy she always is. She’d definitely like Qingyi the most if given the time to actually hang out with the NEPS faction.

Seth, if ever given the chance, would also probably like Anton’s company. The two have similar moral compasses and even more similar himbo mindsets.

Anton would also love Billy for the same reasons. He has to keep their friendship somewhat hidden though, lest Grace finds out Billy exists and tries to cut him open to see how he works.

Piper seems to be the mechanic of the Sons of Calydon group, so I think she’d get along with at least Koleda and Anton from Belobog. Solidarity in working with big machinery and all that y’know?

Soukaku would definitely be friends with Burnice, no explanation needed. Chaos gremlin x chaos gremlin.

Harumasa and Seth probably have a history together the same way Zhu Yuan and Miyabi do.

Until they reveal more about her, I don’t really know what to say about Yanagi, but I think she’d probably get along with people like Lycaon and Qingyi

I ran into Lighter once in Lumina square and he had dialogue about being kinda shy so y’know what, fuck it, anxious mf solidarity between him and Corin. Let the tall scary looking biker guy have social anxiety and let it be the most normal thing ever please Hoyo I beg do not make him like fucking Mika from genshin

I really hope they officially reveal the idol/livestreamer faction, as well as the vampire guy in Lycaon’s story quest soon, cause I’d love to see how their personalities are, and how they’d fit in with the rest of the cast

[hrtsoldierboy]

[PT.1] — BUTCHERBOY HCS »

Small warnings: cursing, implied violence, implied sex, and old man yaoi >:’)

Pairing/s: Billy Butcher x Soldier Boy/Ben

———

———

When Ben and Billy started “dating”, both of them were actually really reluctant for two main reasons for both of them

For Billy, well, it was Soldier Boy of all people. And he’s a typical asshole bigoted supe! Didn’t stop him from getting that peepaw d though

For Ben, it’s really obvious. One, Ben was definitely NOT gay. And secondly, he absolutely despises Billy for making him gay

To be honest, they didn’t know exactly how they happened. But it’s probably because they both hooked up when they were both pent-up with anger

But who knows…

Both of them didn’t want to become public at all costs. One of the reasons being, yknow… MM..

But that didn’t stop Ben from being affectionate even in the slightest bit.

Same with Butcher too

Ben doesn’t share his liquor with the group at all but with Butcher? Yeah, both of them are finishing that shit in no time. Which, to Ben, is kind of a big deal. He doesn't share his shit too much

Butcher doesn't have too many clothes if he was being honest. Just his Hawaiian shirts, a sweater or two, some jeans, and his coat, but that didn't stop Ben from stealing his sweaters when Butcher wasn't wearing them

Both men don’t want to seem soft (somewhat for Butcher I guess, and Ben is a different story)

It didn't take long before the others found out (blame Ben for that)

As expected, none of them took it well, especially MM, but everyone else either accepted it or just didn't care much about it. Well, except for MM, of course.

Now, both of them are absolutely FREAKY with each other, that's no doubt

One round and both of them are definitely covered in bites (freaky old men, I tell you...) More than two rounds? Covered in blood, can't properly walk... yeah. Definitely freaky fucks

They aren't really cuddly, but Ben is clingy 24/7 when given the chance, even more so after they went public (kind of)

Like, kisses often, staying at Billy's side, sitting on the man's lap unprompted, more or less to Billy's dismay, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like it

In fact, Billy loves it, flaunting off his man like a proud boyfriend, even when it gets annoying sometimes

Ben still wants to have children but he doesn't know how to talk to Billy about it

Billy eventually notices that Ben wants to talk about something and finally sits with Ben to talk (basically, Ben cried but don't tell anyone)

Billy takes Ben to visit Terror, and Ben loves the lil' guy, asking Billy to get a pet right after they left

Billy pretty much agrees, and they now have an orange cat named Fuckface (Ben named her)

Butcher thinks it's cute that Ben is a softie for a random stray cat that they found on their way to adopt a dog at a pet store

And then the season three finale happens, but let's ignore canon! :3

In this AU, Butcher doesn’t betray Ben, but MM convinced Frenchie to help him try to make Ben go to sleep

Spoiler alert, it doesn’t work

Blah blah blah, all the fighting still happens and Ben is heart broken that it happened, but Butcher does fight with Ben

Ben doesn’t hurt Ryan btw

The Maeve and Ben explosion still happens, but what happens to Ben is different

Butcher goes out of his way to find Ben afterwards, and he does

Just in time, actually since Grace arrives not too long after

Butcher and Grace strike a deal with each other for Ben

Ben being under Grace’s watch (not in a box this time) while still being able to see Butcher

And Butcher doing missions for her in return

Obviously, Ben and Butcher also fight, as all couples do

Their most recent one being about Butcher being sick, Ben getting worried, Butcher refusing help, Ben being absolutely devastated that he can’t do anything but watch Butcher act weird and slowly dying (Grace did a check up, and yeah…)

Butcher tries to reassure Ben that he’s gonna be alright, that they’re gonna be alright

It helps Ben, but he still worries a lot

Moving on, both of them get jealous easily

Like, if a random person (guy, girl, or anything else), hits on one of them, the other one is definitely gonna act like they’re in the Omegaverse or something

When they’re mad at each other but totally want to get their Ds wet, expect some angry sex

The first time Ben realises that he loves Billy is when Fuckface and Terror were both playing together while Butcher was video taping them on an old camera

Ben was looking at him with pure joy, thoughts were running through his head, when he thought about how Billy is the man he loves

Ben doesn’t know what to feel about that at first, but he eventually accepts it because, hey, he’s an old man and he can love anyone he wants at this point

When Butcher realises he loves Ben, it was after they’d had sex

Ben was asleep, snoring away, the sun hitting his face at the perfect angle, and Butcher just smiled and thought

“I love my man.”

After that, things changed for the better

They were softer on each other now, only in private though because Ben didn’t really want to draw attention to himself that much anymore

When they’d both said ‘i love you’ to the other, they just cuddled with each other while making out

———

Aaand I think that’s all for now 😁😁 I’ll make a part two but with season four once I have enough motivation

edit:

And probably a part three with season five once it comes out, but that’s in 2026, so enjoy for now lol

Lots of love, hrtsoldierboy !

[slipperyskell]

Man I’m gonna be completely honest: I don’t really care if Monty killed Bonnie or not at this point, but with the evidence we’re given in Ruin (not counting the lil story we get on the gator gondola ride because regardless of what the truth is, that was a [very cute] cover up story for whatever actually happened), there are some things seriously not lining up with Monty being the one to kill him.

First off: Bonnie’s last location was in Gator Golf. How the hell did he end up dying in Bonnie Bowl? Which is what happened, you can see where his head hit the wall + the broken bowling ball around Bonnie’s head, too. And it’s not like he could have been dragged from Gator Golf to Bonnie Bowl - afaik they’re pretty far apart from each other and the cameras would have caught it.

Secondly, and I think this is really important: Monty didn’t get his claws until AFTER Bonnie disappeared. Not to mention that Bonnie had claws to help him play the bass, too. It’s clearly stated that those claws are very good at wrecking shit, but there’s no way something without them could have ripped through Bonnie that easily. That being said, there are very clear claw marks on Bonnie’s chest, with three fingered claws. Personally I don’t think that’s green paint smudged around the injury since paint chipping doesn’t work like that from what I understand, but it might be plastic rub from the casings instead? Or even just dirt tbh - I haven’t played the game myself but looking at pictures/videos of it, it doesn’t really look like that same bright green that Monty or any of the bots are painted with.

Obviously the PeePaw Parts theory doesn’t hold up anymore since none of Bonnie’s Parts are missing, and imo it can be taken either way whether FazEnt actually found Bonnie. They mention him being decommissioned in one of the notes in base game, but that could be a matter of them never finding him and just assuming that’s what happened. It’s implied that ALL of the bots use AI to function, and it’s also implied that Bonnie’s disappearance happened a while before the events of SB, so while I think it’s a little bit of a stretch, it could be that the wet floor bots found him and stayed with him, but being in a hidden room, none of the human employees did.

Despite the Mimic’s prowess, I think it’s very unlikely that it had anything to do with Bonnie’s death as it was pretty clearly stated that it was trapped under the plex for a very long time, before the plex was even built. So unless it he hacked into another animatronic - which is very likely given that’s pretty much the entire plot of SB in the first place - don’t think it had anything to do with it directly (as in it put on Monty’s casings and killed Bonnie as a red herring situation)

Then you have the whole thing with Bonnie’s glowing eyes, which has only really been associated with bots being possessed (and that secret room in SB where you gotta take a picture of all the old cutouts of the gang). Was Bonnie possessed? Did the soul and the AI not merge well and cause him to go mad before taking himself out?

Then we have the whole thing with the MXES security system!!! All that rabbit imagery and the fact that the Glamrocks were a part of that system as well as being under the Mimic’s control, I can’t help but feel like there was some sort of mix-up.

I really don’t know what this all means or where I’m going with this.I think it’s possible that Monty was actually the one who killed him, but only because there really isn’t any evidence (or lack thereof) to say it could have been anyone else. That being said, theres a lot of things not adding up in that story (Bonnie’s last location being gator golf when he’s actually in bonnie bowl + Monty not having his claws installed until AFTER Bonnie’s disappearance being the big ones). If Monty was actually the one to hbe done it, I think it’s possible he may not have done it intentionally/maliciously - I think it’s possible that the mimic had assumed Bonnie was tied to MXES system and killed him through Monty or one of the other animatronics.

It’s really hard to say tbh!!! I’m just more interested in the “why” than the “who” at this point.

[maxwell-grant]

I get that I'm stepping on the rake for no reason by letting Twitter people annoy me but there's been a persistent posting of "now that Bison is back JP is worthless, he meant nothing, none of the new stories mean anything because Bison is back" the past days and, why? What exactly is Bison doing to warrant this reaction?

Did anyone actually want JP to helm another world-conquering megaplot? Oh my god is he gonna set up a satellite cannon? Should we ring up the Four Kings? Call Colonel William Guile and the G.I Street Fighters again? Come on. He's not being ousted from his role as a main villain, he already played that role for World Tour / the comic. If they do another Story Mode with Bison or another Shadow Falls that's one thing, but everyone's acting like this already happened and already overwrote an existing story. That’s like saying Rashid and Luke and Ed might as well not exist because Ryu is still around. Different characters do different things, none of the SF villains or final bosses have ever been designed to match and replace Bison's status because that's lunacy, when they can get so much more out of just making new villains above or below him. JP is not some unbeatable megavillain and never has been, who wants Another Bison? Let peepaw do his tax fraud in peace. Maybe it could change but as is, this is just a "Holy shit, two cakes!" situation.

Why is this conversation being relitigated so damn much again, did something-

Oh, lmao. Sucks for Reina/Kazuya, I guess.

[threestripeslider]

back at it again with a vibe check!!

let me preface this as brief as possible: I don’t care about polls.

dont get me wrong, i think they’re fun!! especially the sillay goofy ones like “which peepaw would get obliterated by a single chili in their food” that kind of silly.

but i’ve been noticing a trend in which a lot of those polls are starting to look like thinly veiled popularity contests – obviously not everyone intends that, but it’s just starting to look like that. me personally? i dont really give a shit bc again, i write for myself bc i wanna read specific things and i might as well produce what i want to see and just invite everyone else who has a similar desire. but if you’re gonna start polls just to see which is more “popular” then i kindly ask you to leave my stuff out of it bc im getting a little tired of it.

i do recognise odd man out is well known bc ppl like what i write and tell ppl about it, so i think it’s not only a little unfair to pit smaller fics against mine but also invites a lot of ugly behaviour like shitting on the bigger fics just bc they are “popular”. im sorry, but most of us werent even ASKED if we wanted to be in those polls and honestly? i refuse to take any responsibility for hurt feelings.

i’m doing this for Fun, i’m not competing with anyone. us with “big fics” literally do not owe you any consolation, we’re doing this for free and none of it pays us any bills. all what these repeated competitions and comparisons do is kill motivation and the fun we get from creating and exchanging ideas.

i had fun with the recently finished peepaw poll bc with how i interacted with some of the members, a lot of them didnt take it as seriously and i liked that, that’s what made it fun. im not telling you to not stop making polls, but at least dont create any where it seems like you all are clamoring for some popularity contest – leave my stuff out of those bc i really dont wanna deal with weird comments and halfway demanding asks bc i promise, i will not care about it bc we’re all some guy on the internet. but i know some ppl really dont wanna be part of this but are stuck pretending they’re okay out of fear they’re gonna ruin everyone’s fun – and you all know im not a fan of putting everyone’s fun before anyone’s boundaries.

so here’s mine; you may use odd man out in your polls, especially the silly goofy ones. i’d prefer that you don’t use odd man out in your borderline popularity polls, but even if you do, i won’t care about it and will dismiss it along with everything related to it. and please, for the love of god, stop putting me, my stuff or anyone else and their stuff on a pedestal bc that never ends well for anybody.

[anns-works]

Ok so i've got something that yall would probably hate me for. But ive been holding this simmering pot of angst for a while and the first thing i was taught is to share, so suffer with me.

New ROTTMNT AU:

Rather than being the only one out of his brothers to survive in the no-good-very-bad-horrible future, Leo is the only brother who dies.

Okay okay okay.

But i personally like to think that after the krang come out everything goes to shit in the bad timeline everyone goes oh fuck and start teaming up right? Human yokai cryptids mutants– none of that matters as long as you got eachothers back.

And after the initial stumbles the brothers start their active participation in the resistance.

Heres the thing.

Leo is genuinly terrifying at coming up with a plan. Kid went toe to toe with motherfucking Big Mama and came out victorious. Big Mama, as if the most terrifying yokai crime boss Big Mama. Kid came out with a smile. Its safe to say his strategies were incredibly effective and it kinda pissed off a couple of people.

Military dude 1: I can't believe i'm following a plan made by a 16 yo mutanat turtle.

Military dude 2: Your just upset the kid called out all the flaws your plan had in less than 2 seconds flat.

But the one pissed off the most were the krang. This tiny insignificant insect was able to somehow keep the resistance 3 steps ahead. So naturally, they went to take him down first.

It took a while but eventually they managed to isolate Leo. His brothers were fighting up a storm but the krang got too much and so they had to leave. Without Leo.

About a week later which involved a lot of crying and screaming, the krang brodacast a live footage of torturing Leo (my boi) before krangyfying (did i spell that right) him.

And now the krang have leo on their side. Leo, who knows everything there is to know abt the resistance (hes a gossipy bitch but thats only cuz its important to have the intel) so they are in deep shit now.

And he was a zombie for a while guys. Fighting against him always had people dying and his fam having a mental breakdown.

Eventually they take him down, but at what cost. (One of the brothers killed him. cuz angst. And now the question is who is the MOST angst) Also, Leo is the first person to die in the resistance. (Ouch)

Casey rools up and has no fucking clue who Leo is (ouch) or why his mom wanted him to take up the role as Casey's dad (HC: Cass took one look at tge record of Leo's victories against his brothers in the lair games, strategy skills and medical knowledge; and declared that he would be Casey jr.'s father. Leo was incredibly touched)

But for some reason. For soME FUCKING REASON. Kid is so much like Leo its scary. His family is near tears everytime they see him act like that. That one time he made a shitty pun and Donnie started crying.

Well its probably due to the blue imaginary friend he has that he calls Bluey. Yes we're going towards that direction. His everything comes from being influenced by the cool older brother figure he has as an imaginary friend. (Cuz of ✨Mystic Shenanigans✨ Bluey is still stuck here. Mikey is the only one who can also see him. But he cant. Cuz hes depressed)

Also without Mr. A-Ninja's-Greatest-Weapon-Is-Hope I feel like shit gets really depressing in the resistance. Everyones sad. Baby casey is sad to see everyone sad. So he asks Bluey's help and picks up his general style of humor. Angst shenanigans.

And. AND. AND. During the whole peepaws time travel back after the movie montage (I am a aimple woman w/ simple need) these depressed hunks see this tiny version of their blue brother still covered in bandages and not fully healed from the krangvasion, and their immediete reaction? Protecc.

Leo is confused abt a lot of things. The future version of his brothers that got spat out of nowhere. Casey and how that worked w/ their Casey. The blue projection of HIS angsty future self (who is pretty cool btw). PTSD. You know, the works. At this point my guy is just vibing, and honestly? The story picks up a pretty chill pace from there. Its all abt healing now baby.

So thats the rough outline of the au. And it might sound like a fucking add but heres more abt this silly little idea that came from my silly little head. -> You'll (Never) Never Be Alone

[hazelnut-u-out]

episode review time....

(contains spoilers for "ricktional mortpoon's rickmas mortcation")

let me preface this by saying i love rick and i do not want to sound like a hater lol.

i'm not even gonna pretend to be enthralled by the prospect of breaking this episode down. it was good, even great in a lot of ways, but... it broke a part of me, i think.

i feel betrayed. i feel morty's heartbreak. i really do.

it was a decent exploration of rick attempting to heal while he's not ready yet. he's not ready to move on and get better if it's going to be hard work.

...and honestly? i'm angry with him for that.

i'm angry with rick for victim blaming morty, yet AGAIN. for acting entitled to morty's forgiveness. for lying and tricking that little boy into thinking someone real cared about him.

for dragging a 14yo into something this heavy. this destructive. this reckless. this unforgiving and all-consuming.

GOD i am so sick of this. i'm all for rick's healing, but why is it being put before morty's every time? i mean... i get that there's four more seasons to go. morty has plenty of time to be given justice, but... i feel so bad for him.

i think i'm giving it a 7.5/10 after a rewatch because it really was wonderfully and realistically written.

i don't want to come across as too harsh, because i definitely do sympathize with rick. i don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to break the audience. i think that's a wonderful tool of art. nor do i think protagonists have to be good. it's just a harsh reality that your beloved protagonist is destined to be the villain in the story, though, and i feel like that's what rick is fated to be for morty.

i attribute most of my negative feelings towards my morty bias and my emotional attachment to the last episode.

okay... general thoughts, as always:

-is it bad to say i prefer rick bot over real rick? because, uhhh... i do. he wove his way into my heart by the end of all of this. poor dude. he really loved his family. i kinda wished we could've kept him around.

why couldn't we?

give morty a decent grandpa challenge: go!

i think he's my new favorite rick aside from c-137. what a badass wholesome peepaw of a dude!!!

-morty loves his family so damn much, and it feels like none of them have really earned that from him. he wants his family to have a nice christmas, even if his is going to shit.

-morty crying when curtis yelled at him made me tear up.

"he's busy and i hate him!"

it's just the last little thing he needed to break down. he's a little kid who's having the worst christmas imaginable, and... no one cares about fixing that for him.

other than rick bot.

-i actually loved the moment where rick says he'll get "neurotypical cooties," and implies that neurotypicals aren't creative. casual autism rep lol.

-rick victim blaming morty once again... ugh... bro just immediately regressed.

all morty had to do was say he was "boring." rick just proved that he'd have pulled another "the vat of acid episode" if he hadn't made rick bot.

how many hurtful things do you think you've said to morty, rick? bc i can guarantee it's a million times more hurtful than anything you've ever heard come from morty's mouth. especially "boring."

tbh... i think that it might say something about his character that he didn't do that, and he chose to give morty a better grandpa instead, but also...

ouch.

i know it's a statement about how he needs to tie up his unfinished business before he can move on and really put in the work, but... morty must just feel like he's not worth the effort of apologizing.

the man that morty follwed down into that lab isn't the one who said "i'm sorry." he's not the one that said "i love you too." he's not the one who hugged morty.

the man who said those things is not the grandpa that morty chose all the way back in "solaricks."

morty is consistently willing to put the work into helping rick, but he's constantly shown that rick can't be bothered to put the effort into helping him.

-the fact that morty felt bad for yelling at rick? i just wanted to tell him that he has a right to be upset...

-notice how not one member of the family mentions morty's absence from the holiday family time? yikes...

poor little guy.

i think this is why that reveal bothered me so much... he thought someone real cared about him. he thought a real person cared about saying "i'm sorry. i love you too." to him.

but no.

-what's even more heartbreaking? he learned to care about rick bot. that was the grandpa he wanted, but he doesn't even get to choose that, anymore.

"i don't want another you!"

-bro rick just won't let up. the lightsaber bit? GOD, man. just let the kid have a moment.

-something is so comically wrong with rick's ability to create AI systems lmao. they're always so sassy and go against his orders. the garage? the car? dude... maybe rethink your stance on AI autonomy. you're giving it more freewill than you allow your grandson.

-i literally can't even be upset with morty for being angry with rick. i'm here for it. smoke his ass, lil junebug!

-poor rick bot trying to come clean to his family. that guilt sure did eat him alive :((

look at him with his girls... :(

i guess that explains his softer voice acting for last ep and this ep. he's just a completely different rick.

-it kept making me upset that rick demonized morty over and over again for trying to stick up for himself. it was really hard to watch him not even try to pretend to care about earning morty's trust, respect, and forgiveness.

he HONESTLY thinks he's entitled to it.

-MORTY!! YOU ADORABLE LITTLE BADASS!

-curtis is such an ass lmao. gay icon.

-noticed these gay lil soldiers. ship them!!

-I. LOVE. RICK. BOT.

go dude, go!! he's honestly so sweet... i'm going to genuinely, deeply mourn this character.

-haha, how cute is it that morty acts like a little adventure expert? "slowly closing door! slide!"

-poor rick bot... suicidal ass :(

-dude, morty just cannot catch a break, huh?

"i've always wanted to fight with a lightsaber, but not like this! you ruined it!"

every time i think this kid is gonna get a piece of his childhood back, it's like... nope!

-the joke about the robot with lightsabers for eyes was actually so funny.

-okay, okay... the slow motion scenes WERE hilarious. i must admit.

-it broke me when morty said he was done with forgiveness... especially to see him follow rick down to that lab just a few moments later...

will he ever stop hoping that people can be better? will he ever stop sacrificing himself to his own detriment?

one thing about morty? he's gonna try to do the right thing. the noble thing.

-ugh... poor morty... i hate the fact that this pushed him to trust rick again. i hate the fact that he had to lose rick bot.

and rick twisting the meaning of rick bot's words, too? i don't think rick bot meant for rick to offer to drag morty into this.

oh, well... i can just tell this dynamic in s7 is going to be harrowing. morty just wants to believe his grandpa can be good. i hope he can :(

-lmao why is rick essentially curtis's tech sugar daddy? slay i guess?

-this ending scene is heartbreaking. morty once again a slave to his grandpa's madness? so obviously terrified? morty's just a kid, and what an unfair choice to force him to make...

"it's going to take over your life, morty!"

"it's the most painful shit i've ever been through and i'm fucking bringing you into it, because you asked for it!"

did he ask for it...? crying and sobbing.

i am super excited for the new season, though! it seems like they're gonna be ballsy and make it hyper-serialized when in comparison to the rest of the show, which... hell yeah!!

i guess i'm both excited and anxious to see what they do to my boys, though. i really need them to heal and work together. i was really starting to hope that rick was starting to treat morty like a partner- or, at least, a kid who's feelings, wants, and needs matter just as much as his own.

just like morty to lay himself upon the altar so that rick may bathe in his blood- a fitting sacrifice. a noble end.

i'm about to custom make a tee with morty's face on it that just says: "SAVE THE BABY 2023"

[da-rulah]

Hewo dear!!! How you doing? I hope you got a bit of rest after the absolute MASTERPIECE that you wrote ;)

I have a few questions for you, so answer whichever you want or the ones you feel comfortable with (I'm curious):

- Who is your fav papa? (I don't think I know this)

- If you were part of the Ministry what role would you have?

- What kind of Ghoul would you be (air, fire, water...)?

- Fav Ghost song at the moment.

- Fav Ghost meme or piece of lore.

- Is there any fic from the fandom that you would recommend right now? I need reading material🙃

(Sorry if it is a bit long but I hope it is entertaining at least)

Hello, my darling!! I'm doing okay, just exhausted... Long work day today but a wholesome afternoon at a dog and cat rescue shelter filming a little video with them 🥹 I have had some rest after Rituale Septem, but i do find myself itching to write the next thing... Or at least, to give myself the chance to sit down and plan my next big fic!

But onto the questions...

Fav Papa: I'd like to say i don't have one, but I would be lying. And as much as I do adore them all, Copia has a special place in my heart. Most likely because he's the first Papa I've known as a new fan. He's my comfort character. 🥹

My Ministry Job: If I had a choice... Social Media Manager. Because let's be real, Copia doesn't know shit about social media. And it's pretty close to my current job in marketing anyway. I'd be making the most hilarious tiktoks and memes for the consumption of all Ghesties.

Type of Ghoul: I'm a fire sign (Leo, hi 👋🦁), and probably would be a fire Ghoul. I look confident, but I'm not. I look feisty, and i can be, but I'm a softie. None of the other elements speak to me quite so much...

Fav Ghost Song rn: Twenties. Find me twerking in my room to it at midnight, every night.

Fav Ghost Lore or Meme: The canon that our dearest Peepaw is in fact.. a peepaw and would piss on his least favourite Ghoul before a ritual. Hilarious. I cannot believe TOBIAS made that CANON.

My Fic Rec: ALL OF @her-satanic-wiles' Kinktober fics, for starters... but also: The Cardinal's Bride by @ramblingoak

Camellia by @molly-ghuleh

Banchetto and Face Down in Décolletage by @angellayercake

You're Losing Me by @portaltothevoid

Stunning. I can't, in good conscience, only recommend one. They're all spectacular.

ask me something I'm bored

[nani-nonny]

So I’ve been thinking. With all the F!Leos colliding in one Peepaw multiverse, it reminded me I have 3 fucking F!Leos and none are even close to being similar to the other. Like, I have good future F!Leo: Reunion, survivor’s guilt F!Leo: DMD, and unhinged personal vendetta F!Leo: LCD.

It got me thinking… how would they react? Like I mentioned on Twitter that Reunion F!Leo would think F!Leos in general need therapy, but pity them for being what he could have been (and was very much on the verge of becoming). But what about my F!Leos in particular?

One scenario i imagine, Reunion would guide the kiddos away as DMD yells an infinite amount of profanities at LCD.

Another scenario would be that Reunion and DMD would beat the ever-living shit out of LCD after hearing about what he’s done, while the kiddos watch in horror.

Or Reunion would clutch his pearls and act like DMD and LCD don’t exist and doesn’t know them lol.

Idk I’ve got a serious case of Peepaw brain rot

••••

DMD or Dead Man’s Deal (completed)

LCD or Leonardo Come Down (ongoing)

Reunion (oneshot)

[silverspleen]

Swapped my babygirl Gale out for Wyll. I love u Gale and your flirty personality but you kept rolling like shit. Wyll is soooo much more confident a roller and his Eldritch Blasts are the bomb, so it was a good choice. Why does he have that little slutty top on though. I'm not complaining or anything but like. Wyll. You're distracting me with your midriff, good sir. Wholesome guy though. I appreciate how both him and Karlach seem very mmmm open book after me desperately trying to tear secrets out of "oh I'll tell you later" Gale, "it's none of your fucking business" Shadowheart, and "I don't know what you're talking about leave it alone" Astarion.

Current tank is Karlach, I think I like her mechanically but we'll see. I did grow rather fond of Shadowheart and she's kind of a bitch in that way I'm fond of. Karlach is almost.... Too sweet? Like she's almost too nice? I keep making her sneak around and she doesn't deserve that. Lae'zel cracks me up and I like her as well but like Gale she is a camp companion now. I think she probably hates it.

Also the dog! Scratch!

ALSO LIKE. PEEPAW WITHERS??? HANGS OUT AT CAMP?????

Like broooo why is there a crusty old fancy skeleton here. Why is he so chill with me.