#nope wallpaper

[filmtumb]

NOPE (2022)

dir. jordan peele

posters

credits: https://posterspy.com/?s=nope

[littlelovelore]

it's time to start living again

[squiddcakes]

Happy Holidays drawing ft. The Ratchet and Clank cast bc they are my besties 5ever <3

[queerdisagreeable]

i will always remain salty that people brush off poetry so easily and say they don't "get" it like hello do you not "get" books??? you don't "get" an entire fucking medium??? try!!! find something within poetry that is not what you believe poetry to be!!! free verse is not limerick is not haiku is not sonnet!!! i'm sorry the education system failed you by making you think all poetry is written by crusty old boring white people but i promise you there's more out there!!!! there's interactive poetry there's visual poetry there's digital poetry there's SWATHES of infinite ways that people write poetry about an experience that i promise you you have had

[slashyrogue]

Just gonna give a shout out to my patrons for having to read my random ideas at all hours of the night and always indulging me.

*hugs*

THOUGH TONIGHT’S IDEA IS ENTIRELY HYPOTHETICAL.

[keeps-ache]

ah yiss. the golden garbage premium pass (free!)

[eustasskidagenda]

Okay, this post is not based on a request. I kept thinking about it for hours and finally decided to write it down: how the OP characters would text their s/o. So here are some texting headcanons for some of my favorite characters: Eustass Kid, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Sabo. I'll probably write a part 2 with my other beloved characters: Luffy, Marco, Killer, and Robin. :D

☆Texting HCs for Kid, Law, Sanji, Zoro & Sabo

CW : g/n reader, MDNI, Kid is cursing, fluff, funny, partly nsfw, mention of alcohol for Zoro 

WC : 2k

Kid

Your name/photo in his contacts: mine. With a photo of your ass, obviously. And when he's mad at you, he renames you mid(ge).

Such a brat.

His wallpaper: a cool photo of his motorbike (I'm sorry but Kid is that kind of man in love with his own bike/car. But it's okay, he's still my favorite.) Or, a pic of your ass.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery: your ass, random photos of your face when he’s teasing you, his bike, and some punk stuff (music, makeup, outfit etc.)

His fav emoji : none.

He likes to send really, really shorts messages. Like : 

"Hi" "u know" "i have an idea" "So listen:"

Goddam Kid, just write the WHOLE sentence in one message.

He's sending you random pictures of his torso, just to flex with his big tiddies.

And you have to respond with a heart emoji and praise him each time.

If you want, he's more than willing to send dick pick too. 

Again, you have to praise him. Even if the pictures are absolutely non-aesthetic. He's blessing you with his cock after all. 

"Babe, you don't know how to take beautiful pics of your dick." "WTF SHUT UP???????? It's MY dick???!!! OF COURSE IT'S BEAUTIFUL??!!!" 

Yeah, Kid is clearly using extra punctuation. 

Oh, sure, each morning, you receive a mirror selfie of his outfit of the day. Such a punk fashion icon. "Rate my outfit on a scale of amazing to amazing" 

He doesn't use emojis because they sound too soft and stupid. "em0teS aRe f0r s0fT b0ys Y/N"

If you complain about his messages looking cold, he might use random emotes to annoy you like "UgH iF U wAnt 🦬" (with that stupid dumb sponge bob meme)

Whenever he calls you, it seems like he's yelling through the phone. 

He likes using caps lock like "HEY Y/N, WANNA FUCK TONIGHT??????" 

He's sending you random punk/rock music. And you have to listen and react to every single music, otherwise he's so pissed off. He is sharing his world with you, the less you can do is interact with him. 

He also loves sending some pics of what he's working on, because Kid likes to repare/custom some cars or motorbike. 

And last thing, I like the idea of Kid Pirates being a punk music band, so sure, Kid loves to send you some videos of him playing guitar. "My fingers are skilled in three things : music, crafting and fingering you all the fucking day long"

His phone is so damaged because he throws it every time he gets angry (like every two minutes).

Law

Your name/photo in his contacts: y/n-ya. With a cursed picture of you. Just to tease you with it. 

His wallpaper: nothing, just the random by default home screen. In his view, wallpapers are useless and pointless.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery: random pictures you took of him, emo memes, and boring stuff about medicine or basic hygiene rules for Luffy. And a guide to "how to stop screaming and how to control your anger: a guide for children" for Kid. 

His favorite emoji: 🖕🏻

Whenever you annoy him with a stupid joke or a prank you saw on TikTok, his immediate reaction is to block you. He's so annoyed, please, leave him alone. He is immediately aware that it is a prank. Luffy always does the same to him before you do.

He's never using capital, it's for the emo aesthetic, like 'I hate bread'. Nope. But ✨"i hate bread."✨, yeah, much better

And yes, he uses "." everytime, it's for the dark and tired emo aesthetic. 

He always leaves a group conversation as soon as you include him. Please, he's so pissed off by those kinds of things. 

He's able to leave your message seen for days. Just because he was busy and forgot about what you said. If you need an answer, sure, try to call him. He always keeps his phone in silent mode. 

He likes to send you cool articles that he reads. Especially about medicine, tattoos or nerd stuff like movies, books, games etc.

"wanna go to a date tattoo with me tomorrow?" 

That kind of question is clearly his love language

He enjoys teasing you with random photos of his tattooed fingers or chest. "I bet you miss these fingers." And yeah, he's clearing curling his fingers on the pic like he would do when they are inside you. He's really good at teasing you with photos. 

Kid and Luffy steal his phone whenever he's with them. So be ready to receive a lot of ugly pictures of Law (taken by the chaotic duo), middle fingers from Kid, and blurry meat pictures from Luffy. 

Poor Law deserves a break.

Sanji 

Your name/photos in his contacts : 💗💘🛐Mon Amour (my love)🛐💘💗 With the most beautiful picture of you. 

His wallpaper : a cute couple photo.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery : a lot of cooking videos or photos, you, aesthetic pic of the sky and a private album with some hot nudes that you sent to him.

His favorites emojis : 💘💗💖🛐💍🧎🌺🌸🌹🫦🥰😘🧑🏻‍🍳🍽🍷🥘 (yeah, Sanji LOVES emojis)

He's always texting you back. If he can't reply within a second, he won't open the text. Sanji, leaving his beautiful s/o with that awful "seen"? Never. 

All the mornings "good morning sweetheart 💘" and all the evenings "sleep well sweetheart, dream about me 💖"

He wants to take a cute and aesthetic pic of the both of you all the days. 

He bombards you with pictures of his cooking. It's cute, but also annoying because he can't help but send extra long texts. He describes every single action he did, along with recipes and tips. 

He enjoys seeing your outfit of the day. He can attempt to match his clothes to yours. 

Random "I love you 💖" and "if no one told you you were pretty today : you're the prettiest 🥰" 

He enjoys sending you cooking videos. "We should eat this tonight. What do you think? 🧑🏻‍🍳"

He's pretty good at sexting. He knows how to take aesthetic photo of his hands, back, or mouth. Not just an ugly dick pick (Kid, Zoro, I'm looking at you). And he also likes to leave you some message like.

I would sit you down on this table if you were with me right now. You know, the one in your kitchen where he had dinner with your parents yesterday? I would gently kiss your neck, fondle your chest, and slowly kneel between your legs until you shout my name. You would pull on my hair, begging me to keep going until you cum repeatedly on my face.  👅 "

And if you send him a nude, well, he's going to die from a nosebleed.

Rest in peace, Sanji. 

Zoro

Your name/photos in his contacts : "y/n". You pick a picture for him because Zoro and phones are not compatible.

His wallpaper : a cool katana

What kind of pictures in his gallery : gym selfies, katanas and alcohol (all with ugly quality)

His fav emojis : 👍🏻 and 😴 Like:

"hey Zoro, you're alright" 👍🏻

"Zoro, wanna hang out?" 😴

"Babe, what are you doing?" 😴

"… am i annoying you?" 👍🏻

He can responds to absolutely anything with those two emojis. 

Zero is so oblivious, so let's be honest: he is not good at using phones. Almost every day, he forgets his phone at home. And even if he didn't forget about it, it's probably on silent mode or just off.

He doesn’t know how to use the keyboard, so prepare yourself for coded-message like "o!. @= sp⛑t t🧹day???/!df🆎e !!"He can't even use the excuse "my cat walked on my keyboard", he just sucks with technology.

Your messages are often "seen ✔️" and that's all. Not because he wants to be mean, just... he didn't understand the concept of answering every text. He takes all of your messages as random information. Like "Hey, I'd love to see you tonight!". Well. OK. Message understood. That's all.

The only application he has on his phone is Google Maps. Even with it, he still gets lost. "Turn left." Without a doubt, he turns right. 

Once, he tried to please you with a dick pic. But the photo was just terrible: bad luminosity, an ugly close-up of his cock, blurred as fuck, and you can see the dirty tissue behind him.

He doesn't answer when you call him because he's either asleep or at the gym (or drunk).

Once, he also tried to send you a voice message, but it was just the sound of the wind. He forgot to talk closer to the microphone.

Sabo 

Your name/photos in his contacts : "my revolutionary 🎩💛". With a beautiful pic of your smiling face. 

His wallpaper : a symbol of revolution. 

What kind of pictures in his gallery : petition screenshots, his brothers, you, anti-capitalist memes and a private album with some hot pic of you (naughty Sabo)

His fav emojis : 🔥✨🖕🏻💛✊🏻😡😏😎🤩👉🏻👌🏻🫵🏻

Sabo is... complicate. Sometimes, he doesn't answer for WEEKS. And sometimes he's extra chatty. And when he's chatty well...

Sabo is always spamming you with petition links. "Save the dolphins", "save the monkeys", "fuck capitalism", "for the resignation of *insert random politician name*" 

"Hey sweetheart, manifestation tomorrow. See you there!! 🫵🏻" 

When it's not petitions, it's probably videos or articles. Sabo is a pure revolutionary. Be prepared to receive lengthy texts when he wants to fight for a cause. It's cute, honestly. He's really involved and passionate. 

"You, me, on a trip tomorrow?! 😏"

Sabo has a knack for surprising you with trips, so prepare yourself. This man craves adventure and surprises. He wants you to join his crazy journey. 

Sometimes, he's using proper grammar and punctuation, sometimes he's using a lot of !!!!!!!!??????? And caps lock. Especially when he's furious about something.  He makes a lot of typo errors because he's always in a rush while typing.

Let's fught  *figrt *fijkt *FUCK *LET'S FIGHT (and fuck)

He enjoys taking pictures of you unexpectedly because it makes you seem more natural. 

"So… sweetheart… we have a new roommate" with a cute pic of a dog/frog/duck/snail/whatever. Sabo has a kind heart. If he sees a wounded or abandoned animal, he feels obliged to adopt it.

And regarding spicy texts… 

Sabo is a kinky boy. So sure, he's thirsty when it comes to sexting/nudes. As a revolutionary, he is also very careful. He always asks you first before sending you nude or spicy texts. If you're willing, then prepare yourself.

A bunch of nudes. Since he's good with them, he won't display his dick in a weird and unattractive angle to you. He enjoys showing you his hands when he's wearing his gloves. Or a mirror photo of his back.

"I know you will scratch it when I'll fuck you tonight 😏"

You're not forced to send him nude or spicy texts back. He respects your boundaries without exception. And if you send him a photo anyway, he's also really nice. Always a comment like "your ass is soooooo good with this angle. I can't believe I'm that lucky 🥵" and if he wants to save a photo for his collection, he's always asking if it's okay with you.

"Sweetie, i have a new toy for you… 💛"

We all know what he's talking about. Naughty Sabo.

[skylarsblue]

✦Incorrect C.o.D Quotes Nine✦

(Sexual Implication) Ghost, trying to be sexy by whispering: Gaggin’ for it, aren’t ya, love? Soap: Nope. Ghost: No? Soap: I don’t gag on anything. Ghost: *404 Error* Soap: …Ghost? Si? Simon, are you alright?

-- Y/N: Let’s play a word association game! Ghost: Why? Y/N: Because I saved your ass last mission and I’m bored, so you owe me. Ghost: *sigh* Fine. Y/N: P e r f e c t . Gaz: ?? Y/N: Cold. Ghost: Winter. Y/N: Spring. Ghost: Mattress. Y/N: Soft. Ghost: Comfortable. Y/N: Pleasant. Ghost: Sunset. Y/N, With a shit eating grin: Beautiful. Ghost, unconsciously: Johnny- Y/N: YES Gaz: OHHHHHH Ghost: Soap: *gasp* Simon!~ Ghost: I’m going to go crash in a heli. Y/N: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT-

-- Alex: Bitch do you want me to jump across this table? Because I don’t have all day for this. Norris: You feeling froggy? Leap. Alex: Okay, well here I come- Farah: Alex no, no- hOLD OFF

-- (NSFW Joke) Y/N: Oh sorry. I almost drank out of your cup. Soap: Wh-Just go ahead, it won’t matter! Y/N: Well I- Yeah no, you’re right. I’ve drank out of your cups dozens of times. Soap: We’ve sucked the same dick- Y/N: That’s a good point! Ghost: ….*sigh*

-- Gaz: What kind of girl do you like? Soap: My wife. Gaz: And you? Ghost: Johnny’s wife. Gaz: OH- Price, knowing they recently started a poly situation: Pfft-

-- (Use of the word pussy because haha) Gaz, filming: Pffft- Soap: Shhshh- Y/N in the hallway: FORTY THREE FUCKING CENTS! AHHHHH Soap: *wheeze* Y/N: I NEED A SUGAR DADDY!! Gaz: PFFFT- Soap: I can’t breathe- Y/N: At this rate I’m ready to plaster my fuckin’ pussy on the sidewalk for some sPARE CHANGE! Gaz & Soap: *doing that silent cackle thing and smack each other in the arm* Ghost, leaning into the room: What the f- Y/N: SPAARE CHANGE, SPARE CHANGE! ANYONE GOT ANY SPARE CHAAANGE?! Gaz: *coughing* Soap: Steamin’ Jesus I’m fucking crying- Y/N, passing by the room: 🎵Walkin’ in a winter wonderlaaaand🎶

-- Y/N: Would you love me? Gaz: Y/N: Gaz: Y/N: Gaz: Would I love you if…? Y/N: nO ThAt wAs tHE QuesTiOn-

-- Y/N: Pretty boy! With me I said! Rudy: Rudy: Rudy: Oh I’m pretty boy! Y/N: Yes! Oo that came out a bit quick- (Also works with Soap & Gaz, honestly)

-- (THIS IS A CONCEPT IM TOO WHIMPY TO WRITE, SO HAVE IT HERE! THIS COULD WORK WITH SO MANY CHARACTERS Also, NSFW warning) Ghost: I don’t miss. Y/N, on his ear piece: Never? Even with distractions? Ghost: *turns his scope* Not ever. *just about to take a shot* Y/N: Hmm…what if I went… Mm Simon~ Ghost: *misses* Y/N: Ya missed. Ghost: Cheeky bitch…

-- Gaz: Alright, so, since we’re now in America and we have some time to kill, I went and I got you something. Y/N: Aww Gaz, you really didn’t have to- Gaz: *puts down their Whataburger order* Y/N: OH MY GOD Price: Really? Gaz: *shrug* Soap: *snickering as Y/N Fucking demolishes some fries* Y/N, having the time of their life: Garrick you ever need your dick sucked, a dead body buried, a beer or whatever, you call me. I got’chu Gaz: BAHA- Soap: *wheeze* Ghost: Are you fucking crying? Y/N with their mouth full: I missed it so much.

-- (Team bonding exercises) Soap: You’re a football player, it’s in ya blood! Gaz: That’s racist. Soap: Your soul? Gaz: That’s racist! Soap: …your eyes? Gaz: That’s gay- Soap: That’s homophobic. Gaz: That’s black. Soap: That’s racist!! Gaz: Damn- (this one is extra funny since Gaz is now confirmed LGBT)

-- Gaz: You overrated little twink! Soap: Hey I am a TWUNK, alright?! That is a combination, twink, and HUNK, get it?? Hunk-

-- Soap: Hey~ Fem!Y/N: You’re Gay. Soap: …oh yeah. Soap: *looks at Ghost* Soap: Hey.~ Ghost: *sigh*

-- Soap: I’m gonna have to meet men lying down. Y/N: …I thought’cha did?? Soap: OI!

-- Soap: Everyone says what a giving person I am! Y/N: He’s talking about when you’re in an upright position.

-- Graves: What if there’s a connection? Y/N: I think there’s a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste.

-- Shepard: Now you’re always ornery, rude, unpleasant, and sometimes downright mean. That’s part of your charm. Y/N: Thank you, you colluding-county-hopping-idiotic-relic. Price: *pride*

-- Alex: Oh my god, how are you such a good driver? Soap: Because there’s illegal shit in here. Alex: Soap: Because if I don’t use my turn signal, we’re both gonna do fifteen. Because I am going to lie and say yours. Alex: ….. Soap: Put your seatbelt on, sweetheart. Alex: *clicks it in places* Soap: You are not safe!

-- (Sucking dick joke) Kidnapper: You’re gonna do as I say or I will make you regret ever being born. Y/N: Oh please, I’ve sucked dicks more intimidating than you. Soap: Oh this is why Simon was the way he was after we rescued you both last time.

-- Soap, shoving marshmallows in his mouth: This isn’t very ha-*chokes* MILF!Y/N, across the fucking base: ….*mom instinct* Price: ??? Ghost: Uh- Y/N: Something just happened. Kyle: PFFT-

-- MILF!Y/N: *letting Soap & Gaz lean on her while Price and Ghost stand close behind* Untrue. I’m a mother now. It’s really changed my perspective. Graves: And do you find it hard juggling life and a career? Y/N: You can juggle these nuts.

-- Soap: *rambling* Soap: Agh, sorry, I’m just goin’ on and on- Ghost: Oi, keep talking before I kick your ass. Soap: ….. Gaz: See? This is exactly what I m-where the fuck are these flower petals coming from?? ARE THOSE SPARKLES??

[weird-an]

Steve hears Billy coughing, before he opens the door.

"Shit, Billy, how are you?"

He can't help it, he drags Billy into the living room. Billy who shoots him a bewildered look and then shrugs.

"Nothing," he mumbles, voice raspy. He begins to unbutton his shirt. "Lemme blow you."

Okay, Steve gets it. Billy doesn't "do feelings", doesn't do "boyfriends", doesn't do sentimental shit, he has told Steve that many times.

But Billy's tan is gone and his fingers are shaking. Why isn't he wearing a jacket?

Steve doesn't know what to do. He's scared he'll chase Billy away if he's too nice, if he's got too many feelings. He can pretend they don't cling to each other when they fall asleep, but this? He won't ignore this. Billy obviously has a cold.

Steve has to do something. Billy looks cold and like he hasn't slept in days, eyes red rimmed and glassy.

Steve panics and throws his sweater at Billy.

It drops to the floor. Billy blows a curl out of his face and stares at the dusty blue sweater.

"Are you that eager-" Another cough rattles Billy's chest.

"No, you need to put it on, to stay warm." Steve grabs the sweater and hands it over Billy.

Billy glares at it like it's about to bite him. There's something tender in his eyes, something young. Steve's heart twists and turns.

He dares. "I'll make you a tea."

"Tea," Billy echoes. "What the fuck are you-"

Nope. Steve won't listen to Billy's lies about them only fucking.

"Or hot chocolate?" Steve raises a brow.

"Why would I-" Billy coughs again. He clutches the sweater tightly.

Steve points at the stairs. "Go to bed."

"Damn, you're worse than… a mot- a… " Billy trails off. "Uhm, you're the worst. You suck, Harrington."

"You won't get any marshmallows with your chocolate."

"Fuck you."

"Put on the sweater."

Billy walks upstairs. Steve can hear him cough from his room.

When Steve comes up with the chocolate, Billy wears the sweater and glares at the wall.

"This wallpaper makes me sick," he rasps. Another cough shakes his body.

Steve's heart is filled with marshmallows.

"Shut up and drink your chocolate."

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Hwang Hyunjin x F!Reader TW : none ; it's just cringe fluff ; Hyunjin and reader are that couple ; Word Count : 1.0k Request : nope! A/N : it was my birthday yesterday and I had to work and y'all, I'm so exhausted. I'm writing this from the future, but I just know I'ma be soooo fucking sleepy!!! I hope everyone is enjoying these and please, know that I am getting to the requests, I just really want to do some cute stuff before I jump back into angst. My life has been angsty enough.

“Send me a picture of your face.” The text came in as Hyunjin walked through the main doors of the airport. Of course, it was from you, so he immediately responded, unable to hide his smile even under the mask that he was wearing. 

“Whyyy? You miss me? Hmmm? You miss me so much??? Wanna hug me? Wanna kiss me? Hmmmm????” He teasingly texted back before slipping his phone in his pocket, giggling to himself and earning disgusted looks from the two youngest guys in the group. “What? Don’t look at me like that. Don’t be jealous that I’m in looove.” 

“Gross. How long have you been dating? Isn’t the honeymoon phase supposed to wear off already?” Seungmin retorted, his nose scrunched up just to emphasize just how disgusted he was. Jeongin nodded in agreement, although they both didn’t hesitate to fall back just so they could keep up with Hyunjin, although it was mostly so they could continue teasing him. 

“The honeymoon phase doesn’t wear off if you’re really in looove.” Hyunjin responded, trying his best not to laugh along with the two youngest. He himself thought it was cringe, as did you, but for some reason, although he didn’t mind it one bit, you both agreed on acting the part of that couple just to see the reactions from the guys. It had been an agreement made at the beginning of your relationship, and now two years in and already engaged, the act had become the real thing and neither of you could shake it. 

“I bet you paint her a bunch of pictures and put cheesy little poems along with them. Don’t you?” Jeongin baited, knowing damn well that he did, but the three of them had made it a habit, almost like yours and Hyunjins habit of being the cringiest couple in the universe, to tease each other about these things. “Bet you guys have matching bunny slippers that you wear around the house.” 

“Hey! Don’t talk about the bunny slippers, you don’t know about the bunny slippers. They’re comfortable and they grip the floor really well.” Hyunjin said, although with that he couldn’t help but let out the laughter that he was holding in. 

“Oh yeah, I bet the bunny slip grips work wonders when you’re chasing each other around having your late night pillow fights.” Seungmin chimed in once more, and now all three of them were laughing loudly, catching the attention of the other members who were walking ahead. 

Truthfully, Hyunjin didn’t mind the teasing all that much for the main reason of being able to talk about you, he loved talking about you, you were his life, his soul, you were his everything, and as long as the teasing stayed aimed towards him most of the time, he was fun with it. You made him beyond happy, and if the guys thought that it was a little cringe, or moreso, majorly cringe, he didn’t care because at the end of the day, he still got to say he was with the most amazing girl in the world. 

“You gonna send me that picture yet or are you gonna make me wait until the tour is over???” He pulled out his phone to read the text from you when he finally sat down outside the gates at the airport, smiling at his phone screen which had your face as the wallpaper. 

Tours were the hardest part of your relationship because you had your own job to be at and you couldn’t just ask for days off, you had to request for them in advance, and Hyunjin wasn’t really the best at telling you about tour dates with much notice. Your relationship was built on trust, a lot of trust, because it was no secret that Hyunjin was by far the most handsome man in the universe-your words, not his-and you knew that a lot of people wanted him. Of course, Hyunjin only had eyes for you, you were the most beautiful girl in the universe, and everyone else-his words, not yours-was a goblin. 

“So impatient babe. Hold up, let me take one.” He teased back before opening his camera and snapping a quick selfie which, for anyone else, would be the worst angle, but with Hyunjin there were no bad angles. He quickly sent the picture with a heart as the caption, watching the little text bubbles pop up almost immediately. 

“How are you so perfect? How am I so lucky? Why are you going so far away this time? Dammit, I miss you. Come back home soon. I love you.” The text read, and his throat tightened as he felt the sudden urge to cry. His heart panged with a sadness and loneliness that he only felt when he was away from you. The tour hadn’t even officially started yet and he was already going through withdrawal from your kisses, your touch, the heat that emanated off your body when you were both curled up under the blankets at home. 

“Send me a selfie a day, I miss you too, you and your beautiful face. I love you so much more… I’ll be back home as soon as I can. We’re boarding now though, I have to turn my phone off. I’ll text you during the layover. I love you babe.” He quickly wrote back before turning his phone onto airplane mode and slipping it back into his pocket, the playful smile that he had been wearing a majority of the time falling ever so slightly. 

“You look like you’re gonna cry… You okay, man?” Seungmin asked, coming up from seemingly out of nowhere to stand beside Hyunjin as they walked through the gates. “Is it because you miss her? Oh man… You’re like… Love whipped or something. It’s weird. Good for you though. Shoulda brought the bunny slippers.” 

Love whipped… Was it a thing? Hyunjin wasn’t sure, not until now. He had heard of guys being whipped by only one other thing, and while he’d certainly, secretly, fall under that category as well, he loved you for so much more. He loved you for everything that you are, everything that you were, and everything that you will be. You had him wrapped around your finger, his heart was connected to yours. He loved you so much that it felt like he was being torn in two just being away from you. Yes, he was love whipped… But god, did he love the feeling of it. 

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[sir-kuroo]

002. 𝙈𝙄𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙈𝙄𝘿𝙉𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏 • DESIRE

track list • prev - next

What if the stranger in your sleep and secretly your client at work is actually a ravishing demon who would stop at nothing to have you beyond darker dreams? What if desire runs deeper than you know?

incubus!kuroo, f!reader, pwp, oral, squrting, fngering, multiple orgas/m, rough sxx, dacryphilia, overstimulation

I'm super warmed by the the number of people who asked to be tagged in the next chapter. I truly cherish you. You motivated me to write more. I guess turning this into chapters wasn't as bad as I thought it would turn out to be. I hope I won't disappoint you in the chapters to come.

Your thoughts trailed off while you waited for Kuroo as he excused himself to the restroom. Ever since the campaign started, you now worked with him thrice a week. For today, he decided to discuss things over lunch. Even if this was supposed to be a purely business meeting, you couldn’t shake off the thought that this seemed like a date. 

The restaurant was dimly lit with romantic jazz music playing in the background. You were seated in a concave booth that bound you in intimate proximity. And you...you were a little nervous. You didn’t know why you wanted to look pretty around him it’s pathetic. It would be a lie to say that he wasn’t your type, because he completely was. However, you didn’t want to come off as someone who’d want a relationship with him. First of all, it’s unprofessional and second, Kuroo’s most likely the type to love ‘em and leave ‘em.  

Nope. You’re not for this. Not for him. 

Your phone buzzed with a notification about your meeting, making you remember your dear cat as your wallpaper was a selfie of the both of you. 

What the odd lady said to you a few days ago resurfaced in your memory. 

Was it really true that the cute black you took in a month back was the same as the man you’re having sex with in your dreams?  

You always knew that Mr. Midnight was a smart cat. He waited for you outside your apartment every night and went out with you whenever you’d go to the office. Was it grounds to label him as the incubus in your sleep?  

Impossible. He was too adorable and affectionate to be a demon. You lovingly recalled him frequently rubbing himself against you and always available for a good cuddle. He found a special space on your lap and curled up beside you during bedtime.  

How come such a sweet baby like him would be an incubus?  

There’s no way! But there’s also no way that the old lady would know about him. Come to think of it, the dreams emerged when he stopped visiting you. Maybe...Maybe, he already found his owner. It’s better to think of it that way.  

Suddenly, you remembered the antics he did just to get your attention. You missed him. 

“Did something happen?” Kuroo asked, finally returning to his seat. “Why’re you frowning?”  

“Nothing, really,” you said, facing your phone down. 

“Was that your cat?” he asked, having seen your wallpaper. 

“Yes,” you replied, a bittersweet smile swept your face. 

“What’s with him? You don’t look quite happy when I asked.” 

Kuroo was normally like this around you. He’d talk like he’d known you for a long time. Somehow, that put you at ease and made you feel the same way too. “I just haven’t seen him for more than a week now. I’m worried.” 

“Oh, so you missed him.” He grinned and casually crossed his legs. “Maybe he’s just somewhere nearby and you just haven’t found out yet.” 

You took in his confident smile. Why did he always speak like he’s very sure of what he’s saying even if it’s about your cat. 

You sighed. “If that’s the case, I wonder if he’s not hurt or if he’s eating well-” 

“I’m pretty sure he’s well-fed.”  

You pouted a little. “How would you even know?” 

“He’s a smart cat.” Kuroo smirked, placing his chin against his knuckles. “The fact that he chose someone as caring as you say so.” His hazel eyes were fixed on yours, holding your gaze as he lightly and casually rubbed his foot against your leg.  

You felt the pit of your stomach twisting in an irresistible way. You’re completely aware of what’s happening but doing nothing to deflect it, lost both in the moment and in his piercing eyes. The way he was rubbing against your leg reminded you of all the sensations you’d been feeling in your strange dreams. 

“Are you ready with your orders?” The waitress came, shifting your attention to her. She was only facing Kuroo though, and not even acknowledging you. She was batting her eyelashes at him and adjusting her top, so her cleavage was in its perfect view as if she’s doing her best to get his attention, but Kuroo’s gaze never left you.  

“What do you want?” he asked you.  

“Oh, uhm...” you said, gulping down the unexplainable tension in the air. “I guess I’ll be having seafood paella.” 

“Is that all? Order whatever you want,” Kuroo asserted. 

You gave him a small smile. “That’s all for me.” 

“Okay, I’ll get what she’ll get,” he advised the waitress, returning the menu to her without giving her a single glance.  

“Sir, if you want, I can show you our bestseller-” 

“I’m fine,” he answered, finally acknowledging her but you noticed that his gaze was blank and dead.  

The waitress left bringing with her your orders and unexpected disappointment.  

At first, you thought that Kuroo would enjoy every adoration he’d get from any girl that would be smitten by him. The man didn’t only ooze confidence but also a strong magnetic aura it’s so mysterious anyone would definitely be pulled in. Come to think of it, he’s also bold enough to subtly flirt with you. However, today’s the first time you noticed him outright rejecting someone like he wasn’t even pleased with the special treatment he was getting. 

He uncrossed his legs and straightened his back. His blank stare turned into a lighthearted smile as soon as he turned to you. “Okay, so...what’s our agenda for today?” 

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 

“So have we reached our target, ma’am?” He playfully asked while he tortured your pussy with his fingers. This time, you found yourself in a bedroom that gave off a very masculine vibe—gray walls, steel and wooden furniture. You placed a hand over your mouth, keeping yourself from eliciting any sound. “Looks like not yet.” 

You closed your eyes firmly as you felt him dig in knuckles deep. “Why don’t you give it to me?” He moved his digits even faster that made you raise your hips, hands fisting the sheets. “Give it to me. Let it out.” He uttered in between his teeth.  

Your legs trembled and you couldn’t help but let go of the moan that you kept resisting from escaping. “Aaah~ Gosh, amazing...so good-” you whimpered. Your hips were shaking as he pumped ferociously, feeling the pleasure almost reaching the peak but not yet fully there. It’s close...so close! 

He dove right in to add his tongue, flicking your clit, while he hooked his fingers inside, hitting that sweet spot so delectably that had you thrashing against him. “W-Wai- S-Sto- Too good! This is- Haaah...” Your face scrunched while you convulsed. You were lost in bliss as your cries filled the room with tears forming in your eyes from the overwhelming sensation. Your hand took on the strands of his hair, and he stopped as soon as you squirted your love juices. 

Catching your breath, the last thing you saw before your eyelids give up was the sight of him in between your legs, smirking as he licked the taste of you from his lips. 

You opened your eyes. Even when you’re finally awake, that good feeling still remained. This kind of dream kept on recurring, and it felt very normal by now. Still, everytime you woke up you kept on forgetting how the man in your dreams exactly looked like. It’s always stuck at the back of your head. All you knew was the fluffy feeling of his hair in your hand and the tenderness of his touch. 

You sighed and got ready for work. Heading to your office, you noticed that the odd lady was not around for today. Maybe you were just thinking about this too much and decided to move forward, focusing more on your work. 

Today, you and Kuroo would be having a meeting with the Procurement Head, though he had little say on this campaign, there were rumors in the office that he could be a little unbearable to work with.  

Kuroo arrived with a cup of coffee in hand, he again chose to sit from across you. You wondered if he's gonna rub your leg again, but this time around, he kept his body parts to himself. Very good. You said to yourself. 

The Procurement Head took time to review the campaign and he looked quite pleased, since he was studying it carefully, your attention was brought to Kuroo who was sipping his cup of coffee. Unconsciously, you bit your lip as his lips touched the cap of the paper cup. A few drops stained the corner of his mouth and his tongue slid to lick it off.  

Your gaze slid to his entire expression, straight to his eyes. Noticing you, he stared right back, smirking. The image of Kuroo in between your legs with a piercing look in his eyes, smirking as he licked his lips suddenly popped out of nowhere. 

You took a sharp breath. Oh, fucking no. 

Did you just picture-slash-fantasize him as the man in your lewd dreams? No damn hell! You laced your fingers together. You’re in the middle of a meeting. You shouldn’t be thinking of these things.  

“I reviewed everything, and you did well, Ms. Y/N. You must’ve worked hard for this,” The Procurement Head said. “That’s why I’m gonna suggest to your direct to give you a rest and let Ms. Yuri do the rest.” 

“What?” You said, shocked at his interference. We all know that whoever staged the campaign would be the one to add this to their portfolio. You were so ready to rebut, but you saw Yuri giving the Procurement Head a flirtatious glance. Tch! 

“I don’t need a rest, sir. I think I’ll be happier to see the end of this project. After all, I’m the one who planned everything and no one knows it more than I do,” you explained, but you sure were getting on your last straw now. He’s getting on your nerves, but you had no choice but to repress the anger and let it weigh heavy.

He was about to about to throw in something stupid, but Kuroo came in strong. His expression said that he’s not someone you’d like to mess with. “Plus, I only accepted this project because Y/N presented and thought of it well. I might consider withdrawing from the deal if it won’t be Y/N I’ll be working with.” 

You gulped and felt your heartbeat staggering. There’s something about Kuroo right now that hit different. He looked so serious, and he meant business—a stark contrast to the usual demeanor he usually gave you. Perhaps, you were delusional, but he came off protective, dependable someone...man enough to stand by you. 

The Procurement Head sighed, “Looks like that’s it...” His words drowned in the background as you got lost in your thoughts. He went out with Yuri, and you didn’t even notice them bade farewell before they left.  

Kuroo stood from his seat and extended a hand to you. You turned to him and cluelessly took his hand.  

“We got this,” he beamed with a genuine smile. “Together, we got this.” Contrary to the first time you shook hands, his firm hold on your hand felt comfortable this time. You felt safe.   

He chuckled and you let out a little smile.  

At this moment, you thought that maybe it wasn’t wrong to admit that you might be crushing on him a little. Just...a little. 

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 

Your face was squished lovingly in between his hands as his tongue massaged yours. His kisses were a mixture of playful and passionate that you’re sighing and wanting more of it. Your hands were on his shoulders as you were seated on his lap. His hands now traveled at your side, caressing your plush waist while he roamed his mouth on the flesh of your jaw...neck and shoulder. 

You ground against him. His hard-on satisfying the ache in between your legs. Taking note of your need, he laid on his back.  

“Go ahead...use me,” he said, the look in his eyes was both inviting and understanding at the same time, and that’s all you needed to start moving. 

You rubbed your naked cunt against his hot erection, your arousal making it easy to slide across his length. Your hips danced in a sexy way that made it hard for him to resist not taking the reins, but no. He’s giving it all to you this night. 

He was letting out heavy huffs and he looked awfully pained that you wanted to relieve him too. You took his cock in your hand and aligned it along your slick puffy lips. Slowly, you inched down on him, and you shook a bit, having a small orgasm at the feeling of him blazing rock hard inside you. 

He held you by the waist and you began twisting your hips round and round against his cock. You wanted more. You needed more. But could you really do more? 

“It’s a rough day, I know...” he said, placing his hands on your hips. “But you can go rougher on me.” 

You gulped, looking down on him and drinking in his blushing, desperate yet loving expression. He looked so fuckable that something inside you snapped. You bended your knees so you’re in a squatting position. With your hands pressed hard against his chest, you’re pulling up from his cock and slamming your pussy back deep. 

“Yes, yes, that’s it! Take it all out on me,” he encouraged under his breath, and you rode him wild, completely surrendering the frustration. “I’ll take it all...Haah...Take it all out on me...” 

Today wasn’t a good day. You were angry at the Procurement Head in the office, and you wanted to scream so bad.

You wanted to let it out so bad.

Now, you were fucking the man of your dreams so bad. So damn bad your ass slapped his thigh heavily while your hands on his chest were leaving a pretty pink mark against his skin. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Your hips moved in a frenzy, bouncing your body against him like a dribbling ball. Feels so good. He's so good. So amazing...like you're pouring it all out, shedding the burden off your chest away. Feels great. It's like you're glowing.

You looked so beautiful unhinged, uninhibited above him as you set yourself free, letting it all loose. You're so pretty looking so disheveled with your incredible tits bouncing as you take his cock. How he wanted to just stay here forever soaked up in your pussy, knowing it's him who got you crazy, dirty and messed up like this.

He wanted this forever. You forever. Endlessly, insanely, he...

He laced your fingers together and you squeezed on his hands tight at the very moment your cunt clenched around his cock. “Oh! Aaahhh...” you sighed, giving him the sight of your beautiful blushing ‘O’ face as your head tilted back, pleasure rushing all over your body. 

Sitting up, he caged you in his arms and thrust into you thoroughly. He muffled your noises with sweet kisses and with two...three pumps he's got you in another cathartic release.

You both panted as you had your arms wrapped around each other. You could hear his heartbeat against your ear. It’s so peaceful you wanted to stay like this. He pulled away a little and stamped kisses on your temple...your closed eyelid and at the corner of your lips. Slowly, you opened your eyes to meet his gaze. He’s smiling so affectionately at you as he caressed the top of your head. You felt something warm building in your stomach.

Pressing his forehead against yours,

Endlessly, insanely,

he whispered... 

“I love you.” 

Tracing those words in his head, Kuroo opened his eyes. In the darkness of his room, he turned his attention to the small red collar with a hanging golden bell he was holding. He pressed it against his lips as he tightly shut his eyes.  

What happened at the meeting earlier with the damned Procurement Head was a close call for him. He almost lost you. He showed up a brave face, but he felt a little scared. That’s the moment he knew that this was more than what he thought it was.  

All this time, he played and tested around the idea of him falling in love with you. Love? What a big joke. He thought it would be gone, but it only got stronger everytime. Ha! Who would think that the joke’s on him the entire time? Now, he not only wanted to spend every night with you...he wanted a lifetime’s worth, not in dreams but in flesh. 

But would you stay? Would you stay if he bared himself and showed you who he really was past an adorable mask, a handsome front and a blissful dream? Would you stay with him horns and all? 

TAG LIST: Get tagged on the latest release. Leave a 😈emoji on the reply section or on my ASK.

© sir-kuroo 2023 - All rights reserved. No work shall be reproduced, reposted, modified, translated in any form or by any means.

[yourheartonfire]

The first sign something was wrong was when the hero opened the door without bothering to check the peephole. Or maybe that was the seventh or eighth sign, after the way the hero had disappeared and the terrible rumors going around and the silence from the Agency and - oh yeah - that dreadful beating they’d taken a month ago from Supervillain that was still being meme-ed and clipped and posted and reposted and -

All right. There were a lot of signs something was wrong, but the hero opening their door first and then their eyes going wide to see who was on their doorstep was the first sign that villain had personally witnessed that something was wrong.

“Nope,” the villain snapped. “Don’t like it.”

“What-” the hero managed to say before the villain’s hand closed around their throat and drove their nemesis backwards into their home, kicking the door shut behind them.

“Don’t like this look you’re giving me,” the villain said and slammed the hero into the wall.

The hero grabbed for their forearm, eyes dim in the gloomy dark. “And what look is that?” they hissed. 

“You should be looking at me with fear. Like, oh no! My death is coming!” the villain snarled back. They snapped one cuff around the hero’s wrist, spun them around. The hero staggered. Staggered! The villain huffed and shoved them into the wall again, this time face first, so they didn’t have to see those terrible sunken eyes in hero’s face. “Instead,” they murmured, clamping the second cuff on, “you look at me with relief. Like, oh yay! My death is coming!”

The hero let out a strangled noise not quite a laugh, half-muffled by the wallpaper. “Go on then,” they said. “Guess you won’t get what you want out of me.”

“Oh yes, I will.” The villain dragged the hero down the hall, shoved them onto the couch of their living room. It was a nice low couch, perfect for looming over. “I want you to suffer, hero. And if death is a release, well. I can work with that. Princess Bride or Pride or Prejudice?”

The hero blue screened - their weary defiance smashed into confusion. And, for the first time, a spark of the real hero’s curiosity. “Uh...”

“You want to die? Tough.” The villain grabbed the remote. Luckily the hero was a Luddite, it only took a few seconds to get the TV turned on and streaming services fired up. “Not only will you not be dying, tonight you’ll be subjected to the treacliest of manipulative schlock that Hollywood has to offer. Or are you more of a comedy...” They trailed as off as they opened the hero’s watch history. The hero winced. “I’m sorry. This seems to indicate your most watched movie over the past five years is Planes 2: Fire and Rescue?” 

“It’s actually really good,” the hero muttered.

“The sequel to the spin off of Pixar’s worst-?” The villain cut themselves off, jammed the play button. “Right. The instrument of your suffering has been chosen. And apparently my suffering too,” they muttered under their breath, plopping down on the couch next to the hero. “You got snacks?”

The hero was staring at them. Slowly they shook their head. “You’re a liar,” the villain grumbled and reached over them to grab their phone. “I’m ordering pizza and you’re paying for it. Why the hell is that airplane wearing literally a corn costume?”

“Watch the movie and find out,” the hero said. “Can you uncuff me now?”

“No,” the villain said, pulling the hero closer as they searched for the most expensive pizzeria in the neighborhood. “You’re being tortured. Shut up.”

The hero did. And if the villain noticed as the tension slowly left their nemesis’s shoulders, well, there was a terrible movie to distract them both.

[pascallatte]

That kind of stuff

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Actress!reader

Summary: What's going on behind the camera in one of Pedro's interviews.

Date: December 2020

Warnings: talk abt pornstars (iykyk)

A/N: omggg we're in the 20s nowwwww!!! I can't wait for you to read what's coming!!! sorry for posting early the next day, my Wi-Fi's having problems....

Another at-home interview? Why not it’s all people can get nowadays, so better get used to it. Pedro had already set up his area with the Wonder Woman wallpaper behind him. You were seated beside him, doing your own thing when he tapped you on the shoulder, signalling that his interview was starting.

“Hey, guys. Welcome to “Stir Crazy. My guest today is a struggling actor, starring in tiny projects like “The Mandalorian” and “Wonder Woman: 1984.” The host, Josh, enthusiastically opened making you stop what you’re doing in order to watch them.

“I’m here to give him a big break, It’s Pedro Pascal”

Smiling, Pedro raises his arms, “Finally, my big break, Thank you so much” he said sarcastically 

“Schmunder woman, nope. Let’s talk about the important stuff, You’re one of the sexiest men alive, You’re one of people magazine’s sexiest men alive,” Josh laughs when Pedro opens up his buttoned-up jacket.

Pedro opens it, superman style, “in plaid, that my girlfriend chose for me today.”

“And he’s got the plaid to prove it,” the host continues after having a good laugh.

“Does this validate you? Did you always know you had this in you?”

“Of course I did, it’s the only time where she gave me sincere compliments than back-handed ones,” he said subtly pointing at you, making the host once again ask. You stood up, making Pedro follow your form, asking where you were going with his eyes. Pointing to your room, he nods focusing back on the interview.

“So the title suggests the setting is 1984. So let’s- ok at the count of three, let’s each of us name our favorite 1980s song”, josh instructed Pedro, as he himself was getting ready to answer. 

“You ready?”

“One-“

“Purple Rain,” Pedro immediately said with a straight face. Making the host wheeze, “Wow, I didn’t even, okay. So yeah. That’s it”

They both laugh one in disbelief and one proud of his answer, “End of story.”

“What’s yours?” Pedro prodded, teasing the host. “You’re a kid. You weren’t even born.”

“I’m 97 years old. I was going to go with- I don’t know.” Josh defended himself before stating the obvious answers someone would say if asked about the 80s. “What do you think?”

“I wanna dance with somebody,” Pedro whispers, enclosing his mouth with his hands.”with somebody who…loves…me” he finishes.

“Okay, when you do it like that, just so you know it gets creepy,” 

He places a hand on the left side of his face covering his mouth, “blame-,” he points to you with his thumb, who coincidentally emerged out of your room. Shooting him a confused look, you can only shrug, return to your seat, and listen to them again.

Before you can even sit, a thought came into your mind. Nudging Pedro who looked at you for a second, you stand up infant of him. Tilting his head slightly, switching his look from the screen and you. Once you’ve got his attention, you pointed to the espresso machine you guys have, asking if he wanted some. He signals you to wait for a second.

“Is that Tom Selleck?” He said answering the host's question.

“It’s tom selleck, it’s Tom Selleck,” josh’s voice could be heard. “Hold on a minute,” Pedro says turning to look at you.

“Oh, uh ok,” confused, the host can only guess what would happen behind the camera.

Unknown to you, your voices can still be heard in the recording, catching what you guys were talking about. Looking at you, “What was it you were asking?” Pedro asks.

“I was asking if you wanted some coffee, it’s too early in the morning and we haven’t had coffee before this,” you whispered back to him.

“Oh, sure, thank you, amor,” he whispered back, shooting you a grateful smile.

Turning back to the camera, “ I have returned.” Pedro says in a villainous voice.

“I’m sorry, but you- I'm guessing your partner, y/n, can be heard. Is that ok with you or should we cut it out?” Josh says concerned for your privacy, even over the simplest thing.

“Oh, no, no. It’s ok. So where were we,” Pedro bypasses the host concern and drags it back to the mood of the interview.

“Ok..back to it,” josh grabs a paper, showing it to Pedro. “He’s living on a prayer man.”

While Pedro was having his sweet time in the interview, you just stood in the kitchen, staring at the wall, waiting for your coffee to finish. You thought that you’d get something to eat, but that was too noisy, so saving it for later, you chose to sit and wait.

As soon as the coffees ready, you took them walking back to the room you were previously in. Noticing Pedro who was laughing looking a bit flushed. Deciding to take a seat in front of him, you place down his cup then yours. You heard the host mention a name but you didn’t really mind it until you heard Pedro’s answer.

“Porn star,” he said smiling, heat slowly crawling up his cheeks when he sees you staring at him, with an eyebrow raised.

“You knew that too quickly, You knew that really quickly,” you heard josh say pointedly at him, before laughing. You continue to look at him with the same eyebrow raised, drinking your coffee, while Pedro smiled through the silent accusation.

“Are you frozen or are you just enjoying the moment?”

“I’m just enjoying the moment and fighting to avoid my girlfriend's intense stare,” Pedro stated smile still lingering on his face.

“Well, let’s see what your partner thinks of you when you answer these next few questions,” josh teases.

“George Payne?”

“He’s a super hero.”

Shocked Pedro widens his eyes, “No, It’s a pornstar. You got to look that one up,” you heard the interviewer say, making you whip your head from when you were looking at your phone.

“Hector Hammond?”

Drinking the coffee you gave him, “DC,” he says full of confidence.

“Yeah yeah, that’s a green lantern villain, I think Peter Skarsgard played that one.”

“The one with the plants and the flashlights,” Pedro says before bursting out a raspberry at what he’d said. “You sold it well.” The host laughed.

“Black Adam? Porn star or DC character?”

“Dc character.”

Nodding, “that’s dj, that’s the rock,” josh continues

“Buck adams.”

“Pornstar,” pedro says before looking at you expectedly, and of course you were there watching him intently know still with an eyebrow raised.

“I feel like you’ve seen some of buck’s work,”

“I mean we’re writing this down, right? Because-“ the host wheezes out laughing at Pedro’s comment. “That’s the rest of your day.”

“I need to look all of this up, that is if y/- am I allowed to mention her? Can I mention you here?” He asks the host before looking at you. Shrugging at first you turn around to give him a nod drinking your coffee.

“I- yeah sure, if that’s ok with her,” the host assures him.

“Yeah, she’s ok with that. If-if y/n allows me I mean, because she’s been giving me the stare the whole time we were talking about the-these stars,” Pedro said chuckling making the host laugh.

They calmed down after a few seconds, going serious all of a sudden.

“Harold…..Allnut?”

“Harold Walnut?” Pedro asks leaning closer to the camera.

“Harold allnut,” silence ensues staring at each other before laughing out loud, making similar kettle noises.

“I mean, would it matter which one he is?” Your boyfriend asks, face redder than before.

“Oh, I’ll watch his work regardless. What do you think?”

“I’ll watch his work regardless-,” moving his head side to side, pedro quotes him evidently having way too much fun. “-Regardless, I am a fan,” he continues.

“I hope he’s a pornstar-“ you drown out what ever they were saying focusing on the script you were reading. But curious on what had happened you tried to search one of the names you’ve heard from there. At first you thought it wasn’t too bad, but as you scroll down the things and figures you’ve seen has become too much that you shut your laptop of listening back to them.

“-nd then, if I’m going to speak to them in the Mando voice, it’s kind of a, it’s strangely like a bedroom voice, you know?” Pedro says hesitatingly making josh laugh.

You giggle to yourself at that, situating yourself directly next to Pedro.

“Yeah, that’s not appropriate for kids, but I don’t know, can we ask y/n?” Josh once again teases him, making him flush shaking his head.

“Ahh, no, no. that’s not Disney channel inappropriate- your question is...” Pedro says shaking his head “No,” sneaking to take a long glance at you, who he saw was trying your hardest to keep your laugh in.

“Ok, uh. Another challenge for you, let’s play a little game of who am I?” 

You saw Vin diesel appear on his part of the screen, making you watch him intently. Also wanting to see how he plays his part.

“Ok so uhm, shave off all of my head, give me a bunch of muscles, and then- and a fast car,” he finishes

“Oh, vin diesel. Easy,” the host exclaims.

The next name shows up, ‘C3PO.’

He does this butchered robotic voice making you cover your mouth to stop noise from flowing out. You can sense that Pedro’s looking at you, based on his reaction after the host had gotten it right.

“I’ve seen “the exorcist” about 117 times-,” he shouts making you jump to turn to look at him, “and it just keeps getting funnier every time I see it,” he continued making you and josh laugh.

Content with the reenactment, “you are beetlejuice, and it seems that not only I was enjoying it but also y/n,” he points out, “we can hear her laughing.”

Nodding, “oh, yeah she’s enjoying this alright,” Pedro tells him smiling widely.

And as the last name pops, you let out a gasp, looking at Pedro who was now laughing loudly. It’s just because coincidentally, or not, your name, rather your character's name, was of course added to the ones he had to describe or act out.

“Aha! This is an easy one, this-to whoever this person is please don’t kill me,” he said still laughing.

“Ok imagine a tiny- tiny agitated person, that rocks the bad ass role despite being….” he looks up thinking of something to describe you. “Oh yo-I’m going to give you this, “Dinos lo que sabes o te meteré esta puta pistola en la garganta y te volaré las entrañas!!” He acts imagining he’s holding a gun downwards. tell us what you know or else I'm gonna shove this fucking gun down your fucking throat and blow your insides out

“I think I should know who this is..” josh says.

“Yeah, I believe you do, that line stayed through out the last two seasons, you know,” he said as a matter of fact. Grin slowly appearing on his face, as he holds back his laughter when he saw you bending over the table red faced.

“Oh I know now, great choice of line by the way.”

Pedro raises his brows expectedly, cupping his ear turning closer to the screen. “It’s Catalina Mendoza, you- Y/n L/n’s character.”

“Bingoooo!!!” Pedro laughs now looking at you with a smile as you shoot him finger guns.

“Okay, okay-so I follow you on the instagram…“ the host continues to introduced their next topic, while you and Pedro talk quietly in order for the video to not record your conversation.

As soon as josh raises the face time picture of Oscar Isaac, you tap Pedro on the shoulder to take a look. He immediately bursted out laughing as he remembered this moment all too well.

“What’s going on here, buddy?”

“There’s our pandemic looks, man. Looking at today.”

“Is oscar Isaac like upside down?”

Guessing they’ll be talking about what had happened for a while, you decided to lay on the couch still kind of listening to the interview in the other room. I mean it’s the pandemic, what else can you do? As an actress, or like an actor in general, you’re always on the move so being at home for the past year had given you the rest you needed. But it didn’t last long really. So here you are now, slowly getting back to normal, kind of quickening up the pace.

Your peace was interrupted when you heard your name being shouted from the other room, curiously, you slowly sat up looking towards their direction. Seeing Pedro beckon you to their side, he pats the chair next to him. Telling the host that you’re there already.

“Ah there she, pedro said that you’d have to share your opinion on this question.”

Looking at your partner, yo just nodded while you waited for the question. “ he said would you rather have me-” he said pertaining to himself, “only dress in 80s clothing or be naked all the time?”

At this point you didn’t want to be seen or heard on camera so you opted on whispering your answer to Pedro, allowing the camera to get a glimpse of your home-clothed figure.

With a smile that grew into a smirk, he laughed at your response before saying a quick “thank you” as you got up.

“Y/- she said she would rather see me dressed in 80s clothing, but it really depends on me,” he said slowly looking at the camera before continuing, “Like can I- if I was naked all the time could I be alone? All the time?” He asked.

“It depends on you-“ the host cut himself off with a laugh when he saw Pedro’s expression. As soon as Pedro gets his response, he looks to the side, to where you were sitting a while ago, with a teasing smirk hinting out his meaning, which as a result makes josh laugh.

“I- do what you do, but you don’t have to live your life man, you just gotta do what you gotta do,” josh says now flushed from all the laughing he’s experienced during the interview.

Pretending to look sad, “I guess I’ll do it in 80s clothing,” Pedro said in a low voice.

“Ok fanny packs all the way, here we go.”

“Only a fanny pack.”

“Would you rather get, “this is the way,” tattooed on your face or on your back?”

“we-,“ motioning to you off-screen,”-had this conversation before and she insisted that I take it on my back, which I- for obvious reason, agree with her.”

“Okay. Yeah. That might limit your roles if you have it on your face,” josh jokes.

“Also, on my back might be a completely different message as well,” Pedro says giving josh a knowing look and a side smile.

Josh, laughs for the millionth time in the last 10 to 15 minutes, “Would you rather be always sweating or always be on the verge of a sneeze?”

Laughing to himself, Pedro’s mins had gone to places before ever answering the host. “oh, there’s kind of something orgasmic about being on the verge of a sneeze all the time- I could maybe- maybe I could get kind of used to that,” he says before acting out what an “orgasmic sneeze,” would ever look like.

“With the tattoo on your back, that’s quite a picture”

“Take it away” grinning to the camera, Pedro looks at you who was now recording him, in which he didn’t notice when.

“Last one, would you rather have a mouthful of bees or one be in your butt?”

“Oh I already have a bee in my butt,” he blows out a laugh. “Yeah, no- a bee in the butt… come one who doesn’t want a bee in the butt?”

“Those are goals.”

“Don’t be knocking it, man.”

Laughing, “I think we learned a lot about each other today. You learned that you’re not quite the porn connoisseur-” josh says making Pedro do a shushing sign with the finger on his mouth.

“- that you thought you were. We learned that you are one of the sexiest man alive-“

“I have work to do,” Pedro says cutting josh off before laughing.

The interview ended a short while after saying their goodbyes and thank you’s. Turning to Pedro who was fixing up his side of the table you gave him a smirk, making him shake his head.

“Soooo,i didn’t know you liked that kind of stuff,” teasingly you say as you cross you arms leaning on the table.

“Mhmm, please don’t bring that up again,” he says before walking to you, pushing you up to sit on the couch instead. In the silence, you both enjoyed your cups of coffee, talking about what to do for the rest of the day.

Taglist: @benonlinear @t-stark35 @heyitsme-2 @elleeeee21 @holmesstrange @tagakalat @flyestvenustrap @oldermenaremyreligion @cherryred444 @hobiismyhopeu @ilovehotdadsandshit @djarinsstuff @guacala @avengersheart @pukka-latte @lilvampirina

[punishme85]

How they would react to finding MC sound asleep in their bed.

Lucifer

- This man would be insanely pleased that you chose his bed to snuggle up in

- Of course you would choose his bed, he's the Avatar of Pride after all!

- He would snap a couple pictures and discreetly use them as wallpaper on his phone.

- He would truly contemplate whether he should skip doing his paperwork that night so he can join you

- If he is already done his work for the night, he would crawl and wrap you up in his arms.

-If this was your first time in his bed, he would be concerned about what made you need to sleep in his bed, but ultimately he would be pleased.

- If you were sleeping naked, he would most definitely take that as an invitation and wake you up for a long night of fun.

- If clothed, he would tuck you in beside him and spent the night holding you. (Would also fight with himself about whether to wake you for a long night of fun)

- The next morning,  he would definitely tell you he didn't mind the surprise and hopes it becomes a more regular thing.

- He will inquire why you felt compelled to go to his bed but will not judge you for your decision.

- This man is literally a softie when it comes to his precious MC

Mammon

- This man will panic at first finding you in his bed. He would be over the moon happy but he would still freak out.

- Does he sleep somewhere else? Does he wake you? Does he crawl into bed?

- Then he would end up wondering why you had crawled into his bed.

- He would definitely snap a few pics of you.

- If you were naked, this boy would be a blushing mess, he would not be able to sleep the rest of the night, he would just watch over you.

- This man does not get hints, you gotta tell him what you want or he won't understand.

- If you're clothed, he will most likely crawl into bed and contently snuggle up to you.

- If this is your first time in his bed, he wouldn't know where to put his hands, wouldn't know what an acceptable snuggle is in this situation.

- The next morning he would be a blushing mess still and most likely tell you he doesn't mind if you need to sleep there more often.

- Will also ask why you what made you want to crawl into his bed.

- He would be on cloud 9 for a while and complain if you don't crawl into his bed at least couple times a week.

Leviathan

- Let's be honest... This man wouldn't have left his room so you would have fallen asleep with him knowing you were in his bed.

- The two of you have pulled many all nighters and so this would be just another night with his Henry, though he might be upset that you passed out in the middle of it.

- He would most likely snap a pic of you to add to his Henry Collection.

- He will not be crawling into bed with you, instead he would game for he rest of the night or watch something.

- You would have fallen to sleep with your clothes on but if you stripped while you slept he would freak the fuck out!

- Panic Attack mode activated! This boy would most likely be terrified the more you stripped. He wouldn't be sleeping tonight, nope he would be panicking.

- The next morning he most definitely will avoid all communication and eye contact for quite a while.

- Poor boy would be messed up for a while, you'd have to confront him and promise to try to keep your clothes on if you wanted him to grant you access to his room again.

- Although, I don't think he would totally mind the situation... this would add to his spank bank scenarios.

Satan

- This man would be overjoyed to find you in his bed.

- He would definitely snap a pic or two of you for himself.

- He would definitely crawl into bed with you and pull you into his arms while he read a book with you snuggled against him.

- If you were sleeping naked, he would definitely wake you up to ask if this was an invitation.

- This man knows how to read between the lines and so hints will be noticed but he will still ask for permission.

- If clothed, he will curl himself around you when he decides to stop reading. Protecting you is everything to him.

- In the morning, he will express how he would definitely prefer you in his bed more often.

- Will make sure to tempt Lucifer with the fact you spent the night in his bed.

Asmo

- This man would be so excited and would wake you up with the excited squeal he would let out.

- He would be the one to cuddle up with you the quickest, naked or clothed, it wouldn't matter.

- Once awake he would ask you why you were there. If it was a hint, this boy would be ready and naked in seconds. If it was for comfort he would be there to hold you while you talked through it.

- There is no way you are getting out of his bed unscathed! You can not fall asleep in the Avatar of Lusts bed and not expect there to be at least a little fooling around.

- He would be on you faster than Beel on a burger. You can not change my mind.

- He will take pictures, videos, really anything for keepsakes and bragging rights. The whole Devildom will know before morning you are in his bed!

- You're always welcome in his bed.

- He's a hoe and he's proud of it!

Beel

- This man will not be phased if he found you in his bed. This wouldn't be the first time someone was in his bed... (belphie)

- He will most likely just curl around you and snuggle in tight.

- He is the most likely one to forget to take a picture of you, this wouldn't the first time he found you asleep.

- He may be a little nervous that he might eat you in his sleep, you always smell so good, but he would refrain from taking that bite.

- Beels a good boy, but if you're naked, he will most likely take that as an invitation, as long as you don't mind Belphie joining.

- The man isn't completely innocent, his twin is Belphie and Belphie is a dirty bitch!

- He will wake you and ask for permission though, as I said, good boy!

- If your clothed, well, it's just another cuddle pile. You can not tell me there is no cuddle piles happening in this bedroom!

- Definately doesn't mind and doesn't question why you were in his bed, will invite you often!

Belphie

- Let's be honest, he would be sleeping with you already. This would not be a surprise! 

- Would most likely have at least 1 pic of you sleeping but he would see your sleeping face all the time.

- If clothed, it's just like any other nap and he will take advantage of this moment, using you as his favorite pillow.

- If by chance he does find you sleeping naked, this boy will be all over you! This is his bed, you're naked, enough said.

- This will end up in a snuggle pile, there is no exceptions... Beel is always welcome, so are you! Even if you all are naked. It doesn't matter.

- He will demand you join him again and again, he would prefer nightly thank you very much.

- He's a demanding brat!

Lord Diavolo

- He would be so shocked, then so excited! This would make his millennium!

- Impromptu Sleepover!!!!!

- He most definitely takes pictures, send them to Lucifer and Barbatos, just to brag!

- If either says they will take them home or pick you up, he will threaten to drop kick anyone trying to take you away from him.

- If you're naked he will definitely wake you up after he gets over the shock. Silly human, you're really not afraid of anything!

- If clothed, He will curl around you protectively, most likely shift into his demon form and wrap a wing around you.

- In the morning, he will most definitely ask you why you came to his bed, will not complain and then will invite you back on a regular basis.

- He will make sure all the guards and staff know you are welcome in his rooms anytime you want.

Barbatos

- This man knows the future, so surprising him would he hard to do. You'll most likely find pjs laid out for you on his bed when you sneak into his room.

- He will take a picture of you for himself.

- If naked, he will already know whether this was an invitation, he already saw this coming. He will wake you for an evening of fun.

- If clothed, he will crawl in and snuggle up to you, no doubt about it!

- In the morning, he will wake you up with breakfast in bed and tell you that you are welcome anytime.

- The guards and staff will also be informed you are welcome in his rooms always.

Simeon

- This man will blush, he will panic, he will not know exactly what to do in this situation.

- He will be pleased but he won't know what to do with himself.

- Might try to take a picture but it will most likely be him just trying to figure out why you crawled into his bed.

- If you're naked, he will cover you up with a blanket but will go sleep on the couch unless you've already established a relationship.

-If in a relationship, he will wake you worshiping your body, no permission needed

- This boys not good with hints, he will always think you only see him as a friend unless in a relationship.

- I like to think Angels will not be condemned to fall if there's a relationship with a human (Lilith was in a relationship with a human, didn't fall until the war)

- If clothed, he will join you in bed and snuggle up to you, though he will hope Luke doesn't crawl in, in the middle of the night.

- Simeon is such a good Daddy

- In the morning he will definitely ask you why you chose his bed and will welcome you anytime.

Solomon

- This man is almost as bad as Asmo, he will not wake you though.

- Everyone will know you are spending the night with him and he will definitely be crawling into bed with you.

- Will take a ton of pics, this man will document everything!

- Just like Asmo, he will take it as an invitation but he will wake you to ask for permission, either way naked or clothed, you won't get away without fooling around at the very least.

- Him and Asmo have a thing, no one can convince me otherwise. Hell he might even summon Asmo to join in the fun.

- In the morning he will let you know you're welcome anytime

- He will rub it in everyone's faces!

Luke

- The ONLY time you fall asleep in his bed is after reading him a bedtime story!

- Simeon and Solomon will tuck you both in and make sure neither are late to wake up for breakfast.

- Pictures will be taken and sent to everyone.

- Luke is our baby! No one can convince me otherwise, we protect our baby.

[hanniedream]

hello hello it’s me 👉👈 uhm not to be a bother but joshua & “are you mad at me?” maybe perhaps pretty please 🥹

you're actually a menace for this, you KNOW what this man does to me 😩

"babe, can you call me?" you look up from your phone to look at joshua who just walked into your bedroom. "i can't find my phone."

"okay," you dial his number and watch him walk into the bathroom before hearing the sound of bottles being moved around. "anything?"

"nope!"

you feel a vibration on the bed so you lift up the pillow next to you. nothing. you check under the covers and then you spot it. joshua's ringing phone. you hang up and was about to call out to him but something on his screen catches your attention. it's a photo of you asleep set as his wallpaper.

"did you find—," he stops when he sees you holding his phone. "where did you find it?"

you glare at him before turning the phone to face him. "what the hell is this?"

he chuckles as he takes the phone from you. "i took this yesterday morning. you looked adorable so i just had to."

"that's so embarrassing. change it!"

"no it's not, it's cute." he insists.

before you know it, you're next to him pushing him out of the room as he continues to laugh and tell you how cute you look when you're asleep.

"it's not cute, it's embarrassing. what if someone else sees it." you groan before locking the door behind him.

"come on, open the door." he knocks on the door lightly a couple of times.

"not until you change it." you huff.

"wait, are you mad at me?" he asks softly, the hint of playfulness in his voice completely gone.

"maybe."

there's complete silence from the other side of the door then you feel a vibration from your phone.

[shua ♡] *1 image attached*

[shua ♡] this is your very apologetic boyfriend sending you an embarrassing photo as a peace offering

[shua ♡] you can set that as your wallpaper and show it to anyone that you want

joshua hears you cracking up from inside the room then he hears the door unlocking. he glances at you with his sparkly, doe eyes once the door opens and he knows he's forgiven when you don't move away from him when he reaches for your hand.

"are you still mad?" he asks, for reassurance.

"don't be silly, i can never be mad at you."

"really? you seem pretty mad earlier." he jokes but shuts up immediately after he sees the scowl on your face. "i'm changing my wallpaper right away."

💌 requests open!

[thelastwalkingsoul]

Inspired by this tweet and a conversation with Cass (@henderdads) and Liam (@withacapitalp) about puzzles.

"Are you sure this is going to work?"

Steve hovers over Robin's shoulder, standing together at his dining table. There's newspaper spread out to protect said table with a completed puzzle lying on top. Robin unscrews a fresh bottle of Mod Podge as Steve waits for an answer.

"Nope," she replies, popping the 'p'. And with that, she pours the glue all over the front of the puzzle.

"Wha- Robin!"

She laughs. "There's only one way to find out, dingus."

This had been all Robin's idea. Her constant teasing about his ugly plaid wallpaper had finally worn away at Steve, and he'd caved, agreeing to rip it all down. She'd celebrated as soon as the words had left Steve's mouth, grabbing his hands and spinning him around in a weird, oh-so-Robin dance.

It'd taken them a few days to ask around to learn how and what they needed, then strip the wallpaper and paint Steve's room. It had been tedious but vastly more therapeutic than Steve had expected. Stripping the plaid had felt like stripping away the final part of Steve tied to his 'King Steve' era, the growing pile a final 'fuck you' to his parents.

He'd gone for yellow on the walls, needing a colour that didn't viscerally remind him of the Upside Down that wasn't a dull grey or white. It was a lot at first, a significant change to a space that had been the same for as long as Steve could remember. But it finally felt like his.

"What if it ruins the puzzle?" He can't help but ask. It wasn't one of his favourites for that exact reason, but he didn't want to have to throw it out.

"Then we'll have learnt something." Robin pauses her paintbrush strokes, turning to look at him. "It's going to be fine Steve."

He can't help but soften at the care in her eyes. Robin can read him like a book. He smiles. "I know."

"Good."

The next day they're standing in Steve's room, the colours of the puzzle contrasting nicely with the yellow wall it's now situated on. Steve couldn't believe it stuck together when he'd picked it up. It was solid, like a piece of cardboard, which had made it all too easy to put on the wall.

It feels like a reminder of good times, like so many of the photos scattered around Steve's room. A reminder that he did that with Robin, that he was no longer alone in his love of puzzles. Robin had given Steve the opportunity to share the calm that the activity had brought him. He'd always enjoyed them, especially as a kid, but post-demogorgon, they'd meant a lot more. Working on a puzzle became a way for Steve to settle his thoughts and distract him from his constant paranoia. For Steve, nothing was better than curling up with a mug of hot chocolate or sitting in the sun and basking in the warmth like a cat, doing a puzzle.

Robin had found out in the aftermath of Starcourt. She'd found him at the table, searching through puzzle pieces at an ungodly hour of the night, unable to sleep. Wordlessly, she'd joined him, which had slowly become a tradition. Late-night puzzling turned into lunchtime puzzling, which made way for nights when they would get wine-drunk and puzzle. Robin called them middle ages moms once and threw them both into fits of laughter. It's perfect, and Steve wouldn't have it any other way.

Robin bumps his shoulder. "So, you like it?"

Steve looks at her, a smile on his face. He slings an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a rough side hug. "I love it, babe."

"Wanna go start another?"

"Absolutely."

"I like how it looks when we just glue the back."

"Hmm. You're right, you can see the individual pieces better."

"Yeah. It's not as weirdly shiny either."

It's been months. Steve's bedroom walls are covered in puzzles of all sizes. Each and every one worked on with Robin by his side. Steve's not alone anymore. He feels safe. He feels loved. He feels at home.

Steve pulls his other half into a crushing hug. "Thank you, Robbie."

She makes a confused noise against his shoulder. "For what."

"This. Being here," he squeezes her a little harder. "For everything."

"No need to thank me, dingus. It's an honor."

"I mean it, Robs."

"Yeah. So do I."