#normal condition

[myrunawaymind]

I wish someone would trigger me mid conversation. Not a full blown trance trigger. (altho that would be hot) But just enogh so that my mind is pulled too a stop and not knowing why. Like forgetting a Word out of the blue but its the entire thought process at the moment. Just minding my business chatting or texting with someone and a snap or a quick spiral that is deleted moments after. I've forgotten what I was talking about and needing too ask them? ''So this coffee place is really goo-.. *snap*'' ''What was I talking about? Oh yes! it feels sooo good too just sink into trance!!...'' Just having my entire conversations controlled without me knowing would be so hot!

[idliketobeatree]

we need to talk about the Blue Light.

how it represents a safe passage forward from Death, and more broadly it symbolises the idea of a personal, individual to each person Heaven;

how the person usually isn't as directly lit as Edwin here, but from a side?

and how, when Charles looks at Edwin with the slightest smile and utter conviction in his eyes, Edwin is completely bathed in blue?

and. how Edwin, dead on a technical error, never got to see where his soul really belonged when it comes to his afterlife— and yet it's doubtless, from this shot alone, what his original destination would be.

[fake-diary]

Day 681

I am in my peak condition right now!!!!! Super happy, feeling healthy, everything!!!!!

It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up. 

- Babe Ruth, (22.7.23)

[corner-collects-rocks]

happy new year to neil josten who didnt sign it. he gave me a contract but i didnt sign it. he couldnt make me. this doesnt mean anything. im still a fox.

[abhainnwhump]

Things I Said While Dog-Sitting That Could be Read as Whumpy

You're lucky you're so cute.

No, no, get off the bed! Let me make this clear. People go on the bed, dogs go on the floor, people go on the bed, dogs go on the floor, got it?

I swear, if you make me chase you one more time-

It's okay, you can eat.

Nobody is coming here, you're fine.

See? Look at how she lets me pet her, nothing bad is happening. Now can I please pet you?

Aw, do you miss your little friend? I wonder if she misses you too.

[frost-draws]

tfw you try to assert dominance over a rogue secunit and end up traumatizing it instead. and then becoming bffs.

throwing my hat into the ring of artistic depictions of art! thoughts below

i generally prefer less organic, more abstract/digital depictions of art, so I decided to go with something resembling a camera/telescope lens, with more surrounding it since it can see and hear everything inside it (telescope because of its space mapping function and to set it apart from murderbot's function, surveillance). Which is also why the cameras pointing toward it have the telescope-like thingies at the top. And then all the sun rays are in reference to its name (perihelion). You can see parts of its lenses kind of resembling planets orbiting a fun. Then the circuitry and star maps in the background!

[alicentsgf]

shauna is a bad person because she was a good one and its fucking fascinating. "I didnt start out a bad person" is one of the Best lines in the show because it sums her up so succinctly and melanie lynskeys delivery is a gut punch

she naturally cares so much about people thats literally why shes like this. she was always flawed (impulsive, self-destructive, etc) but there were so many moments in season 1 where she went out of her way to be kind. its why she cant ever accept anythings her fault because deep down she feels so much of it is and if she ever acknowledges that even slightly its over. too much has happened and she cares too deeply for it to not totally fucking destroy her. she had to lie to herself to survive. its why her subconcious regularly revives the person she loved most just to say mean things to her. it is the worst punishment shauna can imagine and so thats exactly what her imagination delivers. at least then its someone else saying it. it means she can still hide from herself. pretend the punishment isnt self-inflicted. as an adult she creates her own demons. no one damaged the breaks or locked the fridge, it was always only her. she even kills the one person who helped her feel happy and free for the first time in 25 yrs just because he seemed too good to be true. ghost jackie warning her on the bridge that someone was going to get hurt was shaunas own mind creating a self-fufilling prophecy. it couldnt end well, shes not allowed to be happy (she had to make sure)

even the awful things we see shauna doing this season as a teenager, the person she's become, came about because of how much she cared. in keeping them all alive, she destroyed her entire sense of self. she emerges from it all convinced she's a terrible person now so she should just accept it. embody it. and shes so full of pain and rage that its so easy. someone needed to be okay with the worst parts of it, otherwise they didnt eat. otherwise they were vulnerable. she just cares too much. its the root of it all. it would be so easy to take extra rations (she doesn't). shes lost her child, imagined him ripped apart and eaten. (she'll cut into someone elses. rip him apart. they’re depending on her.) there's a purpose and fulfilment in the act. (she hates herself for feeling it but she needs to). shes lost everything and maybe she'd rather curl up in the snow by her babys grave and sleep. (they have to eat, she has to feed them.) they don't even thank her. she'll resent them for it later. (she still cares.) she hates them.

shauna may be be paranoid and vengeful but shes not a narcissist and shes not righteous. there's no wilderness god, no greater good, just reality. the place where they grew hungry enough to hunt each other. she wonders aloud why the hell melissa likes her, because shes aware shes unlikeable. it might not be a conscious choice but its deliberate. its a form of self-harm and its self-preservation. better to be feared and hated than pitied, at least then theres some power in what shes lost. (shes so desperate to feel powerful. she's earned it hasn't she?)

even when shes older and she tries to move on, always quick to blame others for her problems, deep down she will always feel responsible. its her fault jackie died so it has to mean something, her relationship with jeff has to be real. so she marries him out of guilt and has a child so she can continue to punish herself indefinitely. ofc it makes sense she can hug a confused old man because hes seeing his daughter instead, but she cant hold her own daughter the same way. cant love the way she wants to. (she could never let her go. she’d leave claw marks in her skin) she doesnt deserve her. cant let herself love callie like that. (she loves her anyway). because shes no good. because she knows what she could become (again) if she lost callie. she hurts people. shes a bad person and she deserves to be feel like this, to be blamed for everything, to freeze to death (because karma).

so yes shaunas a bad person. but shes not very good at it. and it wasn't pre-destined. she took on too big a burden, lost too much, and it broke her. that's what makes her tragic. most innately bad people dont spend their entire adult lives self-inflicting emotional torture.

[rachemchul]

The Umbrella Academy Season 4, Episode 5 Six Years, Five Months, and Two Days

[brodyfoxxsmassivetits]

i just feel poweredd would've gone swimmingly if edd just ..

yea I'm not finishing this art, so here's what I got done I guess...based off of stupid thing I doodled

Au where edds EVIL crazy with power EVIL!!!!

wow!! art woo!

as I said unfinished art hasnt been arting recently and I'm not convinced I would've finished it ever

Really like the bg..photo bashing collage esq bgs are my fave..also sketches..wow!! Sketches!

There was like 3 rough sketches but I just think these two specifically are silly..uh.meow.

Matt is the only well adjusted British person ever and only JUST barely

[knockknockwhosthereartistism]

Summerween shenanigans from Chp. 32 and 33 of "A Human Condition!"

@sapphosscribe

[okayto]

Libraries are fantastic, but you have to understand: there is a tradeoff, which is: you don’t get to hang onto materials indefinitely.

You can’t yell at us because you’ve decided to use a library music score for 3 months and you have to at least bring it to the library before checking it out again. You can’t yell at us if you can’t renew it because someone else placed a hold so they can use it too. Don’t get snippy if you signed an agreement saying you understand you get this laptop for 4 weeks and then you have to return it.

Yes, libraries are fantastic, but things have to be accessible to everyone, not just  you.

[falmerbrook]

Falmer appearance and attire headcanons

(click on drawings for more details and notes!)

Hair

In Skyrim, we pretty much only see two hair styles to go off of: completely bald and the hair the "shaman" have (which are also the only females we see (a post for another day)).

In concept art, particularly Adam Adamowicz's, we see more potential hairstyles. He draws it as wispy and messy, as well as containing braids and the ties we see in the shaman in the game. This art is largely what defines my own interpretation of their hair.

I picture the typical Falmer hair as wavy, thin, wispy, and looking frizzy. Given the high number of hairless Falmer we see, I imagine baldness is common, particularly among males, and sometimes among females. Their hair can be commonly styled into braids or knots to keep it under control.

The ability to grow long, thick hair is less common, but those who can tend to style it in other unique ways. Especially among females, long hair is commonly styled into large dense locs (akin to a Polish plait) and held into shapes using ropes or leather ties.

(While I think the intention with the way their hair is drawn and modelled in the game models and concept art was that it was braided and held up with those ties, before looking at it closely I always sorta interpreted it as too stiff to just be braided. As a result, I developed the locs headcanon and have become kinda attached to it even though I have 0 in game or lore support for it)

Materials

The material used in their clothing is obviously dependent on what is accessible to them, and given their unique situation that makes the materials they use and value unique as well. In Skyrim, we see that almost all of their armor (which is mostly what we see them wearing) and homes are made of chaurus chitin (and potentially shellbug chitin), so this is likely the most common resource available to them for non-combative coverings as well. Other materials from their arthropods companions could include their cocoons, unhatched eggs, etc.

Bones from other creatures (draugr, skeevers, trolls, adventurers, bandits, etc.) underground or from aboveground raids could also be used fairly often. These could also provide a source of leather or fur, albeit not a lot of it.

Falmer groups and subcultures inside or in close proximity to Dwemer ruins probably make regular use of the materials present in those ruins as well. With all the metal and machinery present in Dwemer ruins, metal probably makes regular appearances in their clothing (and general decorations) even if they can't manipulate it themselves. Falmer more separated from Dwemer ruins would make much lesser use of these materials, however. Additionally, We see implications of Falmer preparing, cooking, and potentially cultivating fungus in-game, but see nothing indicating they have any plants in their diet, and therefore it is unlikely they regularly make or use textiles or fabrics in their clothing, and if they do they likely come form Dwemer ruins or raided adventurers/bandits/settlements from the surface.

On that note, we know that there have supposedly been incidents of Falmer coming to the surface to attack its inhabitants and travelers, as well as instances of them killing bandits, adventurers, and researchers who venture below, so it's not far fetched to believe that they have access to some materials from the surface. This could give them some access to furs from surface animals, beads, glass, jewelry, textiles, metal objects, etc. they might not otherwise have access to. The rarity of these material among the Falmer would depend on the amount of access any given group of Falmer have to the surface, but among many of them these materials could be seen as more valuable for their rarity and the difficulty to gain them.

While gemstones and ore might be accessible from both natural deposits and underground ruins, unless they had some kind of auditory function or unique texture, they might not have much value to Falmer.

General Attire/Accessories

I like to imagine that the Snow Elves, and by extension the Falmer, have an innate cold resistance in the same way Nords do, and therefore don't require clothes for the purpose of warmth even in the chilly caves of Skyrim. Additionally, their blindness likely means that wouldn't dress for visual aesthetic either. My thoughts are that they are then left with the sense of sound and touch to communicate with each other, and their clothing and accessories could reflect that.

Falmer clothing, decoration, and society in general is very heavily based on touch and texture and little on appearances. They touch each other very often for both communication, movement, and just general day-to-day interactions, and their clothes isn’t very modest, but the tactile patterns and materials used can communicate certain things such as position in society, “wealth”/power, whether they are taken, single, pregnant, with a child, etc., their roles, their age, notable achievements/skills, who is who, etc. on both their clothes and buildings. The more noise one makes, the more attention they draw and the more they drown out other noises, and the more noise making things they can “afford” to have, so the amount of noise one makes in a Falmer settlement is a status symbol. Certain types of noises or noise makers are more coveted than others (chitin beads are common, while furs are less common, and materials only gained from raiding the surface are rare and coveted).

Some noise making accessories could include:

Dangling metal, bones, beads, chitin, etc. that hangs off of their clothing or ears and jingle/clank against each other (in my drawing I show them as pretty uniform in shape and size, but they would probably be much more irregular than I depicted them)

Bells (metal or other materials) that are affixed to or dangle off of their clothing or as earrings.

Hollow bracelets, anklets, necklaces, or other accessories that are filled with rocks or beads.

Rattles tied to the body (made of chitin, dried hollow chaurus eggs, dried chaurus cocoons, beads, etc.) with leather or rope.

Flute or whistle like tubes made of metal, chitin, or dried and treated tube-like fungus that makes a woodwind-esque noise when air passes through it in a certain way. They have been designed to make noise easily from even the slightest movements.

Dried grasses (more temporary) tied to the body that make a swishy noise. More permanently, a similar thing can be achieved with hair. The hair can be sourced from Falmer (either through just cutting hair or through taking it from fallen enemies) or killed humans/mer/draugr. That sort of thing can also act as a kind of trophy.

Necklaces with various materials dangling close together that jingle against each other.

Various materials can be tied into braids or the leather ties in their hair as well.

Some textural accessories could include:

Beads. Since they wouldn't have the ability to tell the color of the beads, the patterning of beadwork would be based on the roughness, material, size, or shape of the beads. (I'm sorry I suck as drawing beads)

Furs. This wouldn't be as common since the Falmer likely don't have too much interaction with furry mammals, but some they may have access to that are big enough to make clothing/accessories out of include skeevers or trolls (and potentially rarely animals from the surface). A potential meaning of wearing furs could be as hunting trophies, but it could have other meanings as well.

Chaurus chitin would like be the most common material in Falmer attire, and depending on the part of the chaurus body, the size of the chaurus, or the life stage of the chaurus it was sourced from it could have different textures. Some chitin parts could include large spikes and deep groves, while other parts could be smoother and less rough. The use of this chitin in clothing could take advantage of this contrast in textures. Additionally, chitin or shells from shell bugs might be a different texture from the chaurus chitin. (it's unclear to me whether shell bugs are exclusive to the caves around the Forgotten Vale or if we should consider them distributed throughout Skyrim's underground)

The placement of textured components on the body could have their own meaning to it alongside what accessories or textures are being used.

Specific Falmer Subcultures

While most Falmer settlements we see in Skyrim are just a small-ish collection of huts and chaurus corrals, there are two distinctive settlements that are larger, seemingly more organized, and I like to think have their own distinct subcultures worth mentioning: Blackreach and the Forgotten Vale. The unique scope and environment of these Falmer cities (as I like to think of them) could lend to unique clothing cultures as well.

The Falmer of Blackreach have access to a vast Dwemer settlement and have has the space to spread out throughout it more fully since it seems to be more in tact than other Dwemer ruins we see. These guys would likely have a clothing culture much more heavily based on what the can access from these Dwemer ruins (metal scraps, leftover fabrics, etc.)

The Falmer of the Forgotten Vale would also have access to unique resources, such as Vale deer, Vale sabre cats, and frost giants for fur and leather. Additionally, materials accessed from the Chantry of Auri-El such as textiles from clothing, bedding, tapestries, etc. could give them a greater access to fabrics than other Falmer groups. We don't see many close Dwemer settlements to the Vale, so they would have less Dwemeri influence in their clothing than other Falmer groups.

I like to think that the Falmer's evolution exclusively underground has made them poorly equipped to handle the outdoors during the day and has made them particularly susceptible to sunburn, necessitating the need for covering for those in the Forgotten Vale who have significant settlements outdoors. With greater access to textiles and leather, they could use them as coverings when outdoors.

Armor

I actually have very few notes on armor, for two reasons. 1) I hate designing and drawing armor. It is the bane of my existence. 2) I really like the armor they have in game! I think they look awesome aesthetically, and I like how clearly they are made from chaurus chitin. Per usual, Adam Adamowicz's designs seem to have been the major inspiration for the Falmer armor, and he did a great jobs (even if it isn't the most functional looking armor ever).

(off topic but I also just want to add that he draws them with little hairs and tufts on their ears and I love it. ok that is all)

I do have a few thoughts about armor though.

Even attire made of textiles make noise when someone moves in them, and I can imagine moving around in armor, especially armor made of hard, insect shells would make a lot of noise when someone moves around in it. When you're relying on sound to navigate your environment and pinpoint potential threats or targets, wearing something making a lot of noise would not be ideal. On the other hand, getting into a fight unarmored would be a problem.

So here's my solution: heavy armor (see below) would only be worm within the camps/settlements where noise was already high and space is more cramped (and therefore more risky in a fight) as a sort of guard in case they were attacked. Those guarding the settlements along the outside might still wear armor as well, but less of it. Those going out to scout or hunt (if they do hunt) would wear as little armor as possible, and try to wear it strategically so that it wouldn't rub against itself and make noise. This is why most Falmer we encounter in the game are wearing little except for loin cloths and kneepads.

One more idea I have for armor is a specific armor piece. On the note of guarding or protecting a camp or settlement, I imagine the noises of it all (especially with the noise based headcanons I've laid out here) would make it hard to actually catch any potential threats when you can't see. A large slightly concave piece of armor worn behind the head could block out noises from behind the wearer, as well as a help focus sounds ahead of them.

That is all! Thank you for reading! A lot of these concepts around the culture of sound I think could also be applied to their buildings and even a culture of music, but those are posts for another time.

All of the concept art I used was taken from here and all of the Skyrim screenshots are from UESP.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

[userirvingb]

THEY KISSED UNDERWATER AND ED TOUCHED MERSTEDE'S FACE 😭😭😭😭

[kirianthedivorce]

I don’t think this is going to end with Gemma being completely alive and back to normal and everything’s happy but like, I am a little baffled by people’s insistence that mark trying to get her back is unhealthy

Like. If you think your wife dies but then it turns out she appears to be alive and being held hostage in a basement somewhere, presumably stolen just before death by the deeply unethical medical company who has contacts and influence in just about every organisation in your area (including the hospital and the morgue), and you happen to have access to some parts of said basement then doing what you can to get her out of there isn’t an unhealthy refusal to move on. That’s like. A relatively normal response to an insane situation.

Like is the healthy option to just leave your seemingly alive and well wife in the basement of the evil medical company to be experimented on? Mark doesn’t even know she can’t remember anything (and to be honest, neither do we. We’ve only seen her innie. We have no idea what her ‘outie’ is like. I doubt it’s normal regular Gemma, but we don’t know). The experimental brain surgery is unideal but the desire to rescue her is like. The only normal response to that information

[triona-tribblescore]

he is a menace to society.